#thanks to unmedicated adhd etc

[br1ghtestlight]

why am i always so DEPRESSED. my life is just so fucking boring and meaningless and if i have to do anything why is it going to a school i dont even want to go to and meeting w/ social workers. im fucking tired of this. There's nothing in the world that matters why am i wasting my life doing this shit when its empty and hopeless. AT LEAST I COULD ACTUALLY ENJOY MYSELF

[ss-shitstorm]

Hey I know you’ve probably already been asked this but what type of chemistry do you use for breaking bread like biochem and where did you learn this or have any book recommendations to pick it up? Also ty in advance I love your writing!!💕💕

oh my fucking god. oh my god. buddy. buddy you have made my fucking LIFE ASKING THIS OH GOD

So like, most of the chemistry I've used so far has just been Genchem and O Chem(with a wee few modifications to make it believable as a Cybertronian discipline, like Transformium being able to hold 4 bonds like Carbon but preferentially forming bonds w metals and needing an EMP pulse to interact w more electronegative atoms) I may wind up needing to get into a bit of Inorganic chemistry, but that's probably fewer and further in between. If you want a better handle on the stuff I'm writing or if you just want to learn more in general, then I'd recommend giving yourself a lil crash course in Genchem and then delving into O chem a bit more extensively (protip : you need WAY less Genchem then you'd think to fully understand O chem. God I wish someone had told me this 5 years ago. If you search "Genchem for non majors", you'll probably learn enough that way.)

THAT SAID : here's a chaotic, not really in any order list of the books/youtube channels/etc that I've directly used/am using for this fic.

Books :

Caveman Chemistry, Kevin R Dunn - Alot of hands-on old timey historical chemistry lessons w detailed instructions on how to complete them.(YOU GET TO MAKE YOUR OWN ASPIRIN AND DRAIN CLEANER!) Delivered with a delightfully occult bend.

Back To basics,(Reader's Digest) - Survivalist homesteading bible. Not strictly chemistry but has alot of earthy hippy ways of generating energy( biofuels my beloved)

An Introduction to Fire Dynamics, Dougal Drysdale - Honestly this, and any other firefighting manuals are worth their weight in gold for figuring out how to not set yourself and your neighborhood on fire while playing with, well, fire. Trying to look this info up online is like playing russian roulette with intentional misinformation and your fbi guy.

(there's another book I have that's even more detailed but I can't find it right now or remember the name. I'll update this list when I can!)

Organic Chemistry, John Mcmurray 8th edition : generic but good college O chem textbook. You can search around and find free versions to download relatively easily.

The Organic Chem Lab Survival Manual, James W Zubrick - Also a very good way to learn how to not set yourself and your neighborhood on fire when playing with glassware/gases. Very in-depth instructions on setting up and using lab equipment without breaking anything or your brain. Has a fuckton of pictures. Author has a massive sense of humor and makes this heavy subject easy to read. Again, easy to download/find in archives

Unfortunately I do not have any recommendations for Genchem books. I mostly used free online courses like Khan Academy to learn what I did.(I would def. recommend them though)

Youtube Channels :

The Organic Chemistry Tutor : Dude puts everything from reaction mechanisms to retrosynth problems down in the simplest possible terms. Does not beat around the bush with euphemisms or stories, gets right to business. If you have trouble paying attention, or lose your mind when a professor goes off on a tangent, this man is your savior. I have crippling unmedicated ADHD and no STEM background whatesoever and this man still managed to teach me 2 separate ways to execute a Gabriel Synthesis

Nile Red : World's most inefficient and most powerful wizard. I am not entirely convinced he's human. Does shit like turning plastic gloves into drinkable grape soda or making sweeteners out of his own piss and somehow makes it explainable to trash goblins like me who only need the science for warlord pussy.

again, anon, holy shit thank you so much. Like you wouldn't believe the amount of damage you've just undone. i have been beating myself into a pulp and spiraling into anxiety about this fic an trying to do everything right and you've given me enough moxie to fuel me for at least the next 10 chapters. If you have any more questions or more specific questions, please do not hesitate to ask! I can't guarantee I can answer them, but damnit I'll try. Take care and happy learning you funky lil moonbean.

[dallasgallant]

What do you genuinely think Ponyboy’s longterm outcome is post-book, given your knowledge of the time period and location? I love reading fic about him going to therapy as much as the next girl, but I feel like that’s not a likely thing, right? Do you think he’s able to get himself back together and return to his previous academic success?

I talk a big game but I’m not a complete expert I just like to look some stuff up, lol. But between what I know and what my grandma told me after finishing and I joked about him going to therapy…

No. He wouldn’t go. It’s not that it didn’t exist but it just wasn’t something people really did, both as it was sort of meh and heavily stigmatized at the time. If a doctor recommended it pony would likely flip and refuse to go because he isn’t “crazy”. Not to mention they’d likely be priced out of it but I’m not completely sure on the cost.

Back then people “toughed it out” (thanks grandma). It’s sort of evident when you look at all the boys or the way Pony talks about greasers and then neighborhood in general, all self medicating or coping mechanisms that aren’t the best due to, stigma, cycles of abuse and poverty etc — that’s another thing this is all sort of a sudo “therapy speak” and it sort of bothers me that people would think a character would be hyper aware of their behavior let alone the causes in modern language/ understanding

To them it’d just be the way things are for some people you know?

“No one had X back in my day” -> no just the words and understanding weren’t common and people just went on with their life dealing as good or bad as they could. This goes for about anything.

This also isn’t to say that the terminology, disorder or general stuff like coping, addiction etc didn’t exist or wasn’t discovered either it was just more highly medicalized and hush hush. You’d tell very few people if at all.

—

Now for pony himself I suspect he had super unmedicated ADHD/ADD before everything even went down (there’s a post on this so I won’t repeat here)

I think it’s complicated. He definitely gets the help he can from doctors but, I don’t want to say he completely gets “better” as he did have a full on head injury but it wasn’t as drastic as a lot of them can be.

He does have a behavior shift but it isn’t as drastic as the bottle incident, Pony’s a little rougher around the edges, more guarded and a bit combative and frustrated. Sort of what everyone was dreading happened— he’s just as likely to blow as the rest of them now, maybe not as destructive but still.

Pony still tries in school, he does well enough but he’s not as soft spoken, he’s a bit louder without realizing but still reflective and a little sensitive just outwardly.

[sapphicauntie]

*inhales deeply*

Miyamoto Usagi and Yuichi Usagi are not interchangeable.

One is a ronin and the other is his great great great (etc) grandson who is an idiot learning how to be a hero/samurai.

Miyamoto has resting bitch face. Yuichi just has unmedicated ADHD.

Both are made by Stan Sakai yes, but they are not interchangeable. That would be like using one of the other versions of the turtles when you’re talking about another.

03!Leo vs rise!Leo for example: 03!Leo has an accumulation of problems, PTSD and is the leader and older brother. Rise!Leo has none of these (unless you look at it from a post series/movie example).

Both are named similar but they are not the same character. Same could be said for 87!Leo and 2012!Leo.

This is also true of Miyamoto Usagi and Yuichi Usagi.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

[synonomy]

People I'd Like to Get to Know Better

Thanks to @theresthesnitch for the tag! I know it was a while ago but I'm real behind on things right now lol

Last song: Public Pervert - Interpol

Favorite Color: Charcoal grey

Last movie/TV show: Last movie was Minari, and I'm rewatching Dexter for my dissertation (it's about antiheros)

Sweet/savory/spicy: Savory, but you gotta have sweet after or it doesn't feel finished

Last thing I googled: Some shit on Google Scholar probably

Current obsession: I don't have time for any fun hyperfixations right now unfortunately, just trying not to drown in frustration while I attempt to navigate adult responsibilities and deadlines with unmedicated ADHD

Last book: I don't read (non-fan)fiction-- if academic shit counts, it was some book about American prestige television

Things I’m looking forward to: Being done. Just in general

Here's some tags, sorry if there are any repeats, no pressure etc: @matildadaism @aeteut @burningaurora @nymphaea-auri @wifeofapollo

[thecorpsefactory]

If possible ⌚+ 🍼+💥 for the system ask game?

Thank you for the ask!!

⌚ - Most common fronters?

Jeff, Faith, Sophie, Beelzebub, Zaiva, and Train are probably the current most common overall fronters.

🍼 - Most common age group?

16-25 for a range, but an age that is also very consistent is 27. We used to have an entire group for people who were 27 because of how common it is.

💥 - Most chaotic group?

Depends on how you define chaotic honestly... Chaotic as in just unmedicated ADHD? Chaotic as in malicious/harmful? Chaotic as in weird/mixed up? Etc?

We'll let friends/partners of the system send in asks with their idea of the most chaotic group instead since we're too autistic to answer it correctly /silly /mostly a joke no one actually has to send submissions in, but if you want to, go for it

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

tw suicidal thoughts

hi momdad. I'm not doing very well right now and although I know I'll be okay, do you have any tips for how to make it easier while I wait it out? anything to just block out the constant suicidal thoughts and stop me mentally planning things that make me sad to think about. I understand if you don't have the time/spoons for this and I'll be okay either way, but your words often make me feel a lot better about things. thanks <3

hey there, darling, i'm really sorry you're going through this. Bad Thoughts are also one of my biggest enemies, and i've been dealing with them for... going on twenty years, now. so, let's break this down.

in my expert opinion, you need to attack Bad Thoughts from three different sides: physical, mental, and social. congrats, you've already taken a step on the social side!

physically: i know, fucking believe me i know, that right now is the last time you feel like doing anything, but it genuinely is harder to feel like dying when you're clean, fed, and rested. this isn't about being perfect, having a bubble bath and making your bed or whatever, it's just about feeling less gross, through whatever means you're capable of.

change your clothes if you've been wearing them more than a day, take a sponge bath to get rid of the worst of the grime and stink, throw down a fresh flat sheet on your bed or change your pillowcase if it's been a long time since you changed them. whatever little thing you can do.

eat something. if all you've got is candy bars, then eat candy bars, but it is important to keep in mind that you will, unfortunately, feel better when you've had some nutrition. if you can get some apple slices, baby carrots, snap peas, etc, super easy finger foods, that's great. you also need protein and will feel weak and shitty without it, so get some beef jerky, hard boiled eggs, whatever you can. doesn't matter if you're just eating peanut butter out of the jar, just eat.

i know, intimately, the pain of insomnia, so if you can't sleep i totally get it, but do try and sleep instead of just staying awake because you can't face your own mind. honestly, i have a small tv in my room and i tend to keep it on at a very low volume when i sleep, because the noise helps to keep my mood from tanking when i close my eyes. if you need something like that, that's totally okay. just try and sleep, or at least rest. if nothing else, close your eyes for a while and listen to a podcast.

lastly - and know that i'm saying this through gritted teeth, seething - i'm afraid that exercise helps. i hate it, i hate every minute of it, but it actually fucking helps. i prefer to lift weights and/or do yoga, as i can go at my own pace in my own room, and stop whenever i can't take it anymore. i sleep so much better when i exercise 2-3 times a week, because life is just horrible like that.

mentally: when it comes to fight off the Bad Thoughts, distraction is The Most Important Thing. when you can't do anything else, distraction is your last line of defense. and i have unmedicated adhd so i know it's fucking hard, but it helps if you cultivate multiple tactics that work as distractions.

the best distractions i've found:

something that makes you laugh (you have to laugh, fuck, you absolutely have to find a way to laugh)

something you find interesting (science, history, puzzles, even just how it's made videos; scroll through youtube until you find a topic that you're legitimately curious about and learn something new)

something that feels comforting (your favorite movie or show, your favorite book, your favorite fic; doesn't matter if you've watched/read it a hundred times, do it again)

something totally mindless that requires your entire focus (for me that's usually a game on my phone, something like scrabble, word search, or a pop-all-the-bubbles sort of game; make sure you don't fall down a sinkhole of buying more turns and shit)

i have a distractions tag if you'd like some ideas on where to start. if you'd like a few recs of channels i like to watch when i feel shitty:

andrew rousso's skits are hilarious

liziqi lives in the chinese countryside and makes beautiful, peaceful videos of gardening, farming, and cooking. wild girl and dianxi xiaoge have similar channels.

absolute history has some fascinating in-depth videos

acrylic pours are pretty damn cool to watch

chris fleming is as unhinged as he is funny

tasting history with max miller recreates ancient recipes and discusses the history surrounding them

serena art has a cool method of painting that is very interesting to watch

caitlin reilly is painfully good at being funny

the animal cracker is a chiropractor who works on animals, including horses, which is actually really cool

for some reason i think harvesting videos are fascinating??

okay, that probably has you set for a while, lol. but i think that gives you an idea of what i find helpful, from educational to funny to just cool to look at when you can't concentrate on anything.

important part of this is staying committed to the distraction. you are a hockey goalie and you are not letting that shit through. cycle through ten different distractions if you need, just do not fall into the pit of bad thoughts. power through the worst of it.

socially: believe me, i don't love talking to people when i'm buried under a wave of despair, and i'm pretty bad at keeping in touch with friends, but make an attempt at talking to someone and either being honest about how you feel or just have a chat about nothing important, because we're social creatures and we feel better when we've been in contact with other people. even if you're just sending memes or rambling about fanfic, it helps a little bit.

okay, dear, that's my guide to holding back the tide on the Bad Thoughts. of course i could say all sorts of encouraging, inspirational stuff, but honestly when i'm in the depression hole, i don't really want to hear that stuff. simple, concrete actions help me more than promises that everything's going to be okay or i'm strong enough to handle this, blah blah. but if you do want more along that line, try my suicide tag for support and more advice.

this fucking sucks and it's okay that it fucking sucks, you don't need to paint a smiley face on a pile of shit and try to act grateful about it. just try and take care of yourself as best you're able, and don't let those thoughts gain a foothold, alright? you'll get through this, sweetheart.

[ranubd]

I would like to know what your boundaries are when it comes to interacting with you.

are you ok with requests or questions that don’t have to do with your works

are you ok with receiving headcanons that are not relevant to or may contradict with what you already have 

how many asks are you comfortable with receiving at one time.

Are there other things that you want us to know about fan interaction that I didn’t think to ask about

OK I AM NOW RESPONDING TO THIS THE SECOND TIME BECAUSE TUMBLR DECIDED TO BE A BITCH AND GOD UGHHHHHHHHHH OMG >:((((((.... SIGH

Hi, thank you for asking about my boundaries, and to anyone reading this, I appreciate you taking the time out of your day to look at this! :)

I am super okay with any questions you have about anything. I might not come with the correct answer to these questions, BUT I'll try to answer them either way! However if some questions are uncomfortable for me to answer, I can't put my finger on what such questions would be expect for like, NSFW stuff, I'm really not comfortable with that on my blog so please keep NSFW material/questions/requests to yourself. :)

With requests, if we are now talking art requests etc, then I'll gladly draw most stuff!! I tend to only enjoy drawing stuff I'm fixated on, so if I'm going through a overwhelming time or something due to my undiagnosed and therefore unmedicated ADHD I will probably not be drawing your requests. :(( BUT I'LL GET BACK TO THEM AFTER THE OVERWHELMING PERIODS!! (At least I'll try to.)

I would like to add on this that when I'm in artblock, I sometimes will just draw anything... So I may make a post asking for people to send me their OCs and so on so that I can get the creative juices flowing!! :D

You are again free to send me any of your headcanons even if they contradict mine, because if anything, I can add on to my own HC by yours. 🤭🤭 However, if you do send me headcanons, try to mostly just keep yourself to Hermitcraft/Life Series headcanons or anything related to that because if it isn't about that I really won't have anything to respond to your headcanons. Hard to care if I don't know anything about the topic, yk?

I'm fine with any amount of asks. If you as a singular person have many questions that you feel won't all fit into one asks, then send them as individual asks, I don't mind!! :D

I try to answer asks as fast as I can, but sometimes it may take some time as I do go to school. And sometimes, LIKE YESTERDAY, I may have burnout or I may be over stimulated. If that is the case, I will not be active at all on social media, so don't take it personal if it takes a while for your ask(s) to be answered.

I would like people who view this blog to know that I most likely have ADHD, I'm mentioning this because it's something so recent and it is affecting me quite a lot.

I draw stuff when I feel like it, I genuinely cannot draw unless I get that certain flow going, it's a little hard to explain... But I haven't been working on the comic because I know it's better for me not to force myself to work on it because if I did that, I would risk losing interest in it completely, and that's something no one here wants. :(( So please do try to be patient with me, I may be academically smart, but I'm still a little slow. <33

I HOPE THIS ANSWERS ALL YOUR QUESTIONS!! If there is still something for you, the person reading this, that was left unclear or you didn't get a good or direct answer to, then send an ask to me or send me a message and I'll try to clarify myself. :)))

Also with ibispaints new animating tool... i might be going a little... Nuts... Hehe. AAAAAA 😝😝😝 Not saying anything but, like, well I'll just leave a few very very very fast doodles here.

Steady steady... Pum pum pudum dum dum..

[cadriona]

HIHI so uh, if it seems like i haven't been writing much recently discounting that sorta month long hiatus in august from travelling its because I've recently moved for school and am sorta swamped by phd shenanigans including writing and rewriting a proposal based off a lab thing for funds, speedrunning all the math i did not learn in undergrad (linear calc, multivariable calc, etc etc), background writing a zine fic and a big bang fic and uh. Procrastinating because unmedicated adhd and brain apparently is not always handling being away from home all that well! Maybe! its fine

BUT- the proposal is due soon so that'll be over with, the assignments will also soon be over with (ahahahah halp), and zine fic draft is done (vastly over wordcount but what did yall expect, time for chop chop) and big bang posting period is like- month of nov- (fuck) WHICH"LL BE A FUN TIME YALL THERES SO MANY TALENTED PEOPLE WORKING IN THIS BIG BANG IM VIBRATING HOLY SHIT-

Uh anyways, yeah thanks for listening to me ramble i shall now go clean the washroom because proposal is orz

[v-arbellanaris]

i was tagged by @demandthedoodles !!! thank you!!! kees kees.

do you play any instruments? nope! i tried learning piano and violin but i'm very bad at both :)

favourite book characters: ohhh my god we're going to be here ALL DAY

what's your star sign? *kicking my feet up and giggling* are you gonna look up our birth chart compatibility? that's soooo gay. i'm an aries btw <3

favourite colour schemes: OOOOH this is tough. i like a more autumnal colour scheme, and peaches/pinks rather than nudes, tan over beige, etc. but im also a sucker for pastels, admittedly.

naps or long sleep: yes. i should be getting long sleeps but i do not because of the adhd so i take naps but i don't like napping. it's not a long sleep and i get crabby after i wake up.

what languages do you speak? english as a first language, i speak my mother tongue fluently but i can't read or write in it, i know bits and pieces of japanese, tamil and hindi.

dreams/aspirations: ohhh to have enough money to never have to work and give it to people i love and random strangers without having to worry about how to make ends meet. since that's not feasible, death to capitalism, i guess.

long or short hair: i had short hair for years so i'm currently growing it back out again!

tea or coffee: depends! i drink both, but coffee is admittedly more of a "i have unmedicated adhd and i need to focus" drink whereas tea is something i enjoy.

bring a book character to life or go into a fictional world: IT DEPENDS. which character could i bring to life. which world would i go into. i need more information before i decide, ok!!!!!

tagging (also no pressure again): @honeysofte , @justcallmecappy , @crossdressingdeath , @zevsurana , @ziskandra & anyone else who wants to do this, feel free to tag me in it so i can know more about you!!!! <3

[tilseptemberends]

Hello 👋 How are you doing ? I saw the ask game and was curious ( hope I'm not overwhelming you with sm questions ) 💗

💙 Blue: What inspires you to finish writing a fanfic, and what makes you quit writing one at any stage in the process?

🖤 Black: Do you think about your story when you're not physically writing it? Does it help with plotting scenes, character arcs, etc.?

💜 Purple: Name one song you're listening to while writing your next/current fanfic. How or why does it help the writing process?

✏️

Hi, I'm doing okayish. I don't mind the questions, I don't get many asks so I kinda like the long ones :)

💙: Loads of things can make me stop writing a fic. Unmedicated ADHD is the usual culprit assisted by other fic ideas, my own story ideas, or certain TV shows. Sometimes I just lose interest in a concept I've written for and can't motivate myself to continue.

And as for what inspires me to finish... I've only finished one long form and three one-shots so I don't have a lot of experience. If I had to guess I'd probably say stubbornness. For the long-form story I was doing daily updates and I refused to let it die before I was done. I think I got up to 91 parts for that one. All three of my one-shots are for pairings who don't have a lot of fics. 2 Satharion (Crescent City) and 1 Yutaba (Persona 5) there might be more for Yutaba now but there still isn't much for Satharion and I wanted to do something about it. It's not much but 2 titles in a mostly empty list feels kinda impactful to me :)

🖤: I think about whatever I'm writing constantly. I'm almost always thinking about something in my WIP folder. Sometimes it's to think through a problem or around a corner I've written myself into but usually it's not intentional. I just space out alot while I'm working and it ends up in that direction.

💜: This my current writing Playlist. Sometimes I'll pick a song on my liked Playlist and listen to that on repeat for a while if I'm writing a scene with a specific mood but generally speaking I'm more effective if my music doesn't have words to sing along to

Thanks for the questions :)

[arthyritis]

4. How old do you think their kid(s) were? How old were Stace and Chase when they had them?

7. What did they like to do as a family?

8.Do you have any disability headcanons for Chase and/or Stacy?

Hehehehe thank you beloved!!! Especially since I'm fleshing out my Stacey more :)c

Context first, I suck at age consistency, but basically my Stacey is like three years older than Chase. I don't think either were super young when they decided to have the kiddo they did; Chase was 27 and Stace was 30. At the time of IRIS, Kid Brody would have been 8, poor kid :(

They had all kinds of fun outings when Kid was younger! Like going to the beach, laser tag, etc. After Chase did his little do, Stacey would bring artsy things for him and Kid to do together while he built back up their relationship.

I do!!

Chase is hard of hearing and has horribly unmedicated ADHD. Also has ✨️funky nerves✨️ that cause lightning-like pains down his spine.

Stacey had an underlying knee condition that had to be fixed surgically, hence her scar :) she's also got aura migraines!

[vidawhump]

hahaha alright how do you sweet talk teachers i need to know

YES THANK YOU

The most influential factor of sweet-talking teachers comes from your overall reputation in a school and with specific teachers. If you have a reputation for not turning in work on time and not caring about it, and for not putting in effort for anything, it’s gonna be really hard to sweet-talk your teachers outside of specific super dramatic situations. If you have a generally positive reputation, getting what you need with them is going to be a lot easier.

Personally, I have a long-standing reputation for overachieving and getting relatively consistent straight As. This reputation is secured between several teachers through several panicked discussions of anything less than an A. And before every test or exam, I consistently end up asking if there are extra credit questions. Not out of an effort to not fail, but for the chance to get higher than 100% (or to barely scrape my sorry ass out of an A-.) In other words, I have a reputation for sucking up to the teachers (because I can’t socialize with my classmates for the life of me) and for being, and I quote, “a creative kid who gets her stuff done. Gifted, but has some attention span issues.” Can you smell the gifted kid burnout + unmedicated ADHD + undiagnosed autism wafting off of me? /lh

Lying on the spot, and lying in general, is a surefire way to wreck whatever plan you’re cracking. Try to keep the sweet talking restrained to the teachers you have a tight and positive relationship with. They’re the most likely to give you extensions, extra help, etc. Back to lying on the spot specifically, solidify any plans for the time before you have to talk to that teacher specifically. Make sure whatever plans you make fit your circumstances and that they’re believable for the most part. Run through any possible scenarios and outcomes and how you’ll respond to them. If you have to lie at all, keep them to small white lies. If you planning on telling one teacher that you forgot, for example, your laptop at home, so you can’t show them the work you did online, you need to make sure to either actually leave your laptop at home, or keep it hidden in your locker/book bag and make sure nobody sees it. This means other students and teachers. Enough students are snitches to cause problems, and the teachers talk all the time. (AN: Don’t snitch on other students to get in goodwill with teachers. A positive reputation also includes other students. Sweet talking and sucking up to teachers doesn’t involve being a teacher’s pet and a snitch.)

For one specific example, my class was assigned a biology essay and had a week, including class time and a four-day weekend, to do it. This sounds like a lot of time to get the essay done, and I probably would have been able to if I had the executive function to get started on research. But obviously, I didn’t, and here we are, on the due date, and I’ve barely looked at the requirements for the essay. Specific circumstances were the main factor in this situation. The schedules had been weird for the past month or so, and it was starting to take its toll. But track had also started the Monday before it was due, and my everything is still sore. And the iPad keyboards are evil and hate everyone. I made sure to have a conversation with my Biology teacher about this the day before it was due, to plant the idea in their head that I was having technical issues with my iPad. He also agrees that schoolwide iPads were a stupid move. During my Biology period, when they asked if everyone had turned their essay in, I told them that a bunch of unfortunate situations had stacked up onto this one week. They told me that I was good and to just get it in as soon as I could. But that still means I have to write the essay :/

Most of it boils down to your reputation, your relationship with the teachers, and your circumstances. Try not to do this too often, the teachers pick it up really fast. :) 👍

[thebibliosphere]

We live in a society etc etc

Anyway.

Thank you to everyone who has been overwhelmingly kind and outraged on my behalf since yesterday. I wasn’t expecting that post to get any more traction than me just yelling into the void but I guess it really drove home for some people how little authors really make.

To the aspiring writers telling me it makes them feel like it’s not worth it: writing and doing what you love is always worth it. But there’s a reason so many writers have day jobs on top of what they do. It’s actually a time “honored” tradition. Except no one really shows any respect for it except other authors who Get It.

The only reason I don’t have a full time day job anymore is because my body is made up of 13 weasels in a trench coat masquerading as 3 genetic disabilities and a heaping whack of unmedicated ADHD. My only choice is to write full time because I’m incapable of doing anything else.

But don’t look at those numbers and think “there’s no point.” There’s always a point to art.

[notabled-noodle]

so i'm starting to think I might also have adhd in addition to being autistic - partially because one of my past psychiatrists also had his suspicions (but the Qb test was negative) and partially because I'm on ritalin and it's the only thing that keeps me awake and partially because I've been noticing I've been like laser-focusing on shit - which I'm now realizing is probably what I was doing as a kid whenever I read - and I'm pretty sure it's adhd hyperfocus.

like I spent a day making memes because i was feeling sick and pretty much forgot to eat (and also forgot to take my lunch dose of ritalin). then the next day I went to an event with my mom and made a painting, after which I was completely wiped out for some reason.

and in the past four days I've written EIGHTEEN pages (single spaced 12 point font) of a story that will never see the light of day under this name or my real name, and I actually couldn't stop writing - I stayed up past midnight finishing a section despite the fact that I was starting to get a headache from being sleep-deprived and dehydrated by the end of it.

so I'm thinking about trying to get tested again, but I can't come off my ritalin or else I won't be able to stay awake, and I'm worried that I'll just get told I don't have it again because the Qb test is negative. Do you have any information about how the process will go and what I should know about it going into it? Anything I should keep in mind?

Also, is it possible that the reason some people with ADHD test negative because they hyperfocus on the Qb test?

No pressure for any of this. If nothing else I just. Need to get out and write down the idea that I may have ADHD and tell someone or else it's just going to sit and fester in my head and bother me.

Thanks either way /gen

I can’t respond to anything re: medication because I am not a pharmacist or doctor of any kind, and I don’t want to be making any judgements one way or another where they’re concerned. I’m also completely unmedicated so I can’t even speak to personal experience

however!

if you want an ADHD diagnosis, here’s what I’d recommend:

try keeping a symptoms/traits journal

make a list of all your main symptoms/traits

look at how they intersect with autism, noting the similarities/differences

bring this information with you to your appointment

all of my diagnosis stuff was basically just. being read a list of different symptoms and different ways those symptoms can present, and being asked questions about how they apply to me. then they asked similar questions to my parents. then they had me do a bunch of questionnaires, and that was that

a problem for a lot of people with ADHD is that we tend to forget what we feel like when we no longer feel that way (lack of emotional permanence). so if someone with ADHD is filling out a questionnaire while they’re happy, hyperfocusing, etc… their brains are going to act like they’re happy all the time. similarly, filling it out while sad can make it come across like we’re depressed because we can’t remember not being sad.

this is why it’s important to try your best to keep a record of this stuff. you can refer to it when you’re doing questionnaires too (especially if they make you answer the questions from home). having the record there is a way to remind your brain that you have experienced a wide variety of things, not just whatever you happen to be experiencing at that moment

I hope this makes sense, and I wish you all the best with your diagnosis stuff

[the-lonelybarricade]

Fic Writer Tag

Tagged by @arrowmusings and @thehaemanthus, thank you so much you gorgeous souls! <3

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

6

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

68,323

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Under this psuedonym, just acotar.

But back in my in my fanfiction days I wrote fics for The Mortal Instruments and Vampire Acadmey

4. What are your top 5 five by kudos?

A Court of Faded Dreams

I've Been Looking For You

The Rumor of St. Petersburg

The Outlier

Prologue: Once Upon A Time

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes, as soon as I can get to it! I am so grateful for any interaction with my stories and I love talking with people about the content. I don't ever want people's involvement with my fics to go unnoticed/unacknowledged. And now this is going to encourage me to go back through my fics and make sure I've actually responded to all of the comments people have left lol.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

As far as my acotar content, everything has been quite angst-free ending wise.

There was a Vampire Academy fic that I abandoned where Rose was kidnapped by strigoi and I never updated so guess that's the angstiest lmao please forgive me I was 14

7. Do you write crossovers?

I guess my Rumor of St. Petersburg fic counts as a crossover? I'm not entirely sure what warrents one, but I'm not opposed to writing them. :)

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not yet, everyone has been so lovely and supportive so far!

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I haven't put out any content that is smut for smut's sake, but things will be getting frisky in ACoFD eventually :)

Also I'm not opposed to writing smut for smut's sake. Last summer I wrote smut for people on fiverr for a little extra income and that was some wild times.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but if anyone ever expressed interest I wouldn't be opposed.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have, but only ever for fun with friends. Nothing I've ever put out to be read by others.

13. What is your all time favorite ship?

For an excessively long time it was Herongraystairs. That love triangle just broke my heart. Now Feysand is definitely up there too. <3

Also I LOVE the Mark/Christina/Kieran ship from TDA because canon poly ships are just underreprented methinks. It's everything.

Also queer representaion will just always make me happy.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

This is a tricky question because I've just started producing acotar content. I hope I finish all of my WIPs. The biggest struggle will probably be the ACoFD sequel. I've been trying to work on it but have been feeling very uninspired. And I'll be starting Uni in a week so my free time will be significantly cut down.

15. What are your writing strengths?

This

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Describing scenary is sooo tough for me. Maybe it's the adhd, but I'm the kind of person who is always tempted to skip over long descriptive paragraphs of scenary because I just find it so... boring? And I feel the same way in my own writing.

It's either that or focus. Having unmedicated adhd is a struggle and unless I'm hyperfocused on the scene at hand, I'll usually be switching tabs every few paragraphs to scroll through tumblr.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Yeah, I enjoy it! I love stories that focus on different cultures/histories/etc outside of the Western world. Of course, as long as it's done correctly and with respect for those cultures.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Vampire Academy. I was obsessed.

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve ever written?

A Court of Faded Dreams is currently my baby. <3

Tagging my lovely fic-writing mutuals who haven't been tagged yet (I'm so sorry if I miss out on anyone!!) @feybaenc @highladysith @slutsofren @rhysandswingspan @a-court-of-milkandhoney @loverofdemoncorns @thebonecarver and anyone else who wants to answer! :)