#that b the same sweater from the previous art of her

[dianacavendishisgay]

Another Diana from my zipper au

[embrassemoi]

𝐒𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬

Pairings: Sirius B, F!Reader, Remus L    Content: swearing, angst, no proofreading, filler? A/N: i hope your week has been great so far xx

【 Masterlist | Previous Chapter | ao3 】

Chapter 35 ✷ Picture’s Up

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James couldn't recall a time where he felt so drained.

He didn’t even think there was a word to encapsulate just how drained he really felt. Every day, there was a wariness that sunk and immersed itself so deeply within his bones that made it feel like he could hardly breathe.

Day by day, it felt like a part of his sanity was cracking.

Enervated, drowsy, exhausted, knackered, dead on his own two feet… he could go on.

Prefect duties were as dreadful as Remus had said they were and James regretted every time he ever made fun of him for it. It was miserable and karma never hit him harder. Monitoring detentions and rounds were tedious, the tests he had to grade were mind-numbingly boring; all forcing him to lose the little sleep he had.

And then there were the loads of Quidditch practices that once were fun, a way for him to exert his remarkable supply of energy, only became a bit of a nuisance with the overwhelming activities he was forced to juggle.

Working around Moony’s moon cycle...

And then there was the fucking Black family.

The mere mention of their names sent James into a spiral. He’d rather submerge himself into the Black lake and let the giant squid ink all over him than deal with them. But there he was.

He debated for a while, whether or not to tell Black about Regulus but refrained. He was far too stubborn to listen and could make matters worse.

James sighed, leaning into the couch in the common room, running his fingers through his hair.

“Potter.” The ring of Lily’s voice sounded through his ears. James turned around to look at her, feeling his heart accelerate.

“Evans,” he greeted.

“We have rounds in a bit. Don’t be late.”

James simply nodded, not having enough energy to put on a front.

And of course Lily noticed. She noticed his frazzled appearance and lack of energy. There was hardly any banter between them and Lily would’ve thought it was a miracle that his annoying self had vanished, replaced with timorous energy. But if anything, it was disquieting.

She bit the inside of her cheek, forcing out, “Hey, you alright?”

He gave a little audible sound in response. “Yeah. I’ll be there. I just need to make a few arrangements quickly. Meet you by the... Prefects’ bathroom?”

Lily considered him.

“... See you.”

James made his way out of the common room, slipping out the Marauder’s Map. He’d been tracking Regulus’ movements for the past few days now and the only person he went to was Y/N for any substantial amount of time.

He truly had no one else and it ruled out any potential bullying.

Walburga and Orion… Their treatment towards him shocked James. Golden boy Regulus, who would’ve thought?

But even with the Marauder’s Map, it was impossible to keep track of him. He never stayed in one spot long enough to catch, aside from the dungeons and Slytherin common room.

Everything regarding Regulus’ situation forced James to think strenuously. If he were to accidentally say too much of what Whiskers had told him, not only would Regulus close himself off to him, but to her too, leaving them with no clue of his well-being.

And it forced him to worry about Whiskers. She didn’t know what she's getting herself into… What if Walburga and Orion caught word of their friendship?

James shuddered, pushing away the thought. He didn’t want to think about what would happen to either of them.

He continued to watch Regulus’ name travel across the map before ascertaining he was close. He tapped on the map, muttering out ‘Mischief managed’ whilst bolting down the hallways. Each twist and turn exhilarated a nervous adrenaline thumping through his veins as he rehearsed a little speech inside his head.

Before Regulus had time to process what was happening, James had already yanked him back, disappearing into one of the secret passageways.

“What the — Potter?!” He squawked. Pushing him away, James saw the pure panic washed over his features through the shadows.

“I know we don’t have much time,” James rushed, “But hear me out.”

He made no attempt to move but looked around for other students.

“You’ll always have a home with me,” James said easily as if it was the most obvious answer. “With Bla — Sirius — living with me, you’re more than welcome to as well. I understand your situation and —”

“No,” Regulus leered, “I can’t.”

“You can’t or you won’t?” James challenged before easing up. “My family and I are more than willing to protect you, like how we’ve been doing for Sirius.”

And then it stayed silent for a while and he finally let himself take in his appearance.

“Regulus, what happened to you?”

Regulus’ head hung. “All I wanted was to have long hair.”

And then it clicked for James, but he was running out of things to say that were convincing and felt a familiar panic return.

“You miss him, right?” He tried. “I know he misses you. If maybe —”

But when Regulus’ mood suddenly changed, James knew instantly that he had miscalculated.

“Miss me?” Regulus laughed bitterly. “He doesn’t miss me and he has never considered me his brother. You, Lupin, Pettigrew — you’re his brothers.”

He could see the misty tears welding up in Regulus’ eyes and didn’t make a move to stop him when he stormed out from the passageway.

Once Regulus was free from James, he sprinted, blinking multiple times to prevent tears from seeping out. An ache burned inside his chest as he found himself diving into his bed, pulling the curtains shut.

Those unforgettable questions that plagued his mind for a year now played heavily in his mind, like his own personal film.

What made someone good or bad? What did he believe in? Was he strong enough to break from his mould or did he want to? And most importantly, what was he willing to do?

Blood purity…

Regulus closed his eyes. He wished life was a dress rehearsal and there were times to make mistakes and have do-overs without permanent repercussions. To get time to practice and refine life until he explored every avenue. Unfortunately, life had no room for anything but the final performance. Every stumble, every mishap or memory slip was presented to a live audience day by day.

Reopening his eyes, he had his answer.

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A few weeks went by and September was coming to a close. October came with beautiful colours and a chilly breeze.

It felt like every day, Y/N added another reason to be disgruntled and hateful onto her list. It had been a month since she’d last seen her mother and she refrained from sending any letters; waiting patiently to see if she would make the first move.

Nothing.

It was safe to say that it put her into a bad mood that morning.

The walk to Defence Against the Dark Arts with Lily was a quiet one and slightly uncomfortable. However, the uncomfortable bit was more on Lily’s end rather than Y/N who was too wrapped in her anger-induced thoughts.

These days, their lessons were almost exclusively in the Duelling room, filled with practical lessons. Especially today, she was beyond thankful for; eager to have an outlet.

But Professor Elway was unusually keen on inviting her to the Duelling sessions. She was almost as difficult as dodging Slughorn’s Slugclub invites. Luckily, Y/N liked Elway and duelling was electrifying. Even potion making, no matter how much she enjoyed it, was lengthy and mundane.

Mentioning their professor, she wasn’t there that morning when they arrived outside the Duelling room. The students lounged outside the door, taking out their books and wand while they waited.

Remus found himself drifting to her as they quietly chatted away.

“Like your sweater,” she said. In the background, she could hear Marlene and James yelling, “It’s a jumper!”

Remus smiled. “This old thing?” Pointing to the sweater that she knitted. They both giggled a bit; Remus leaned slightly against her, eyes lingering a beat.

“Sorry, I’m late!” Elway called out to them in a dreamy voice. “Everyone, follow me!”

Puzzled, the class looked at each other as they followed their professor away from the dungeons. While they walked, rude and unbearable, Peeves the Poltergeist floated upside down. Once he spotted Remus, he immediately drifted up to him, opening his mouth, no doubt about to hurl all sorts of names or songs at him.

Remus hardly looked at him, already taking out his wand and said lazily, “Waddiwasi!” at Peeves.

A wad of gum shot out from nowhere and landed directly on Peeves before he whirled back from Remus, spewing curses at him.

“Nice one! Ought to teach me that later!” “Almost feel bad for the bloke!” Both James and Peter said at the same time.

Elway had led them outside to a desolate area, free from a canopy of branches and leaves.

“Now, my pupils!” She sang. “You might be wondering, ‘what are we doing out here?’ Lucky for you, we’re going to be practicing a few spells and learning how to fight using other means during duels.”

Like most of the class, Emmeline was ​skeptical as she raised her hand. “I thought we weren’t supposed to use physical means during duels?”

“Precisely,” said Elway, walking back and forth in front of the class. “Couldn't have said it better myself. But you know who won’t give a damn?”

There was a long pause for effect.

“Your enemies.” She clapped her hands together. “Now, can anyone give us some ideas? How about… Miss L/N?”

Blinking a few times, she hesitated, not expecting to be called on. “Er — you can… take them from the legs?”

“Wonderful idea! I’m thrilled you said that! Does anyone else want to add on?”

Remus raised his hand, answering politely. “Using your arms — stretching them.”

Professor Elway nodded away happily. “Wonderful answer! Take five points! Like Remus said, stretching your arms out or boarding your shoulders, spacing out your legs can widen your defence range! Why don’t we try?”

She called Remus up first and Y/N could tell he was slightly nervous. He doubled down, making himself seem smaller by hunching over and made sure not to accidentally hurt their professor.

A couple of Hufflepuffs, Slytherins and then James, Marlene and Lily all tried; mimicking Elway as she let them knock her over.

“Most importantly,” Elway said, dusting off her robes free from leaves and dirt. She panted a bit, tired from being knocked down multiple times. “Never let the enemy strike first. You all did fantastically!

“Obviously, in any professional setting, you’ll be disqualified if you ever tried to physically attack your opponent. But you can still play dirty in a duel!

“The charm Obscuro has been helpful on several occasions. It blindfolds your opponent. Please repeat after me: Ob-SKOO-roh!”

“Obscuro!”

“Excellent!” Elway gave a little applause, filled with glee. “Another spell that I love is the Confundus charm. Y/N! May you please explain to us the purpose of the Confundus charm?”

“She’s calling on you an awful lot,” Lily muttered.

She nodded a bit. “It confuses your oppent. The varying degree depends on how much magic is put into the initial casting.”

“Perfect! Five points to Gryffindor. If you will tell me about Incendio.”

As she spoke, there was almost a switch that went off in Elway that made her incessantly happy that almost unnerved her.

“Beautiful! Now if you may, help demonstrate the spell?”

“I don’t want to hurt —”

“Trust me, you won’t.”

Then, Y/N felt a deep lurch of fear as everyone retreated against the trees, giving her a clear view of Professor Elway opposed to her, waiting to block her spell.

She took a deep breath in, pushing up the sleeves of her robes, she held her wand.

Professor Elway had a protective spell around her. “One, two, three — now!”

“Incendio!” Only meek sparks shot out of her wand. A few students snickered while her friends were seen trying to drown them out by clapping.

“That was amazing!” Peter called out.

“I wouldn’t be able to do that on the first go!” Marlene shouted.

“That was good! Try again! One, two, three — go!”

“Incendio!” Nothing noteworthy happened. It was embarrassing.

“It’s alright, try again!” Elway said, not letting her go yet. “Think about something that’s motivating!”

Y/N closed her eyes, inhaling deeply and pondered. What was motivating to her? Surely, the want to continue with magic after school was motivating. Or perhaps proving someone wrong?

Proving someone wrong…

She had a lot to prove to her mother.

Instead of her being motivated, a flicker of annoyance and anger flooded her instead. Sensing the change, Elway beamed, her wand held high.

“One —”

Her mother always prioritized everyone and everything above her —

“Two —”

Was never there when it mattered —

“Three —”

There was never much affection. The constant want to please, the low self-esteem made her feel worthless, unloveable, always wanting to run when she got too close — she caused it —

“Now!”

“Incendio!” She bellowed.

A loud crack rippled through the air and caused her to stumble back. A large blast of orange and red flames shot out from her wand. Scorching heat flooded out, causing all the students to jump back as Elway shot waves of water, extinguishing the flames at once. As angry as she had been, glee and pure enjoyment replaced that quickly.

Once the bell rang, the students gathered up their belongings, leaving for their next class. But Elway took a moment, calling out her name, asking that she stay back for a few moments.

James and Lily staggered behind, offering to wait as they talked quietly under one of the willow trees.

They were so civil these days…

“I would’ve offered you a cup of tea,” Elway spoke as she approached her. Her foot tapped against the ground, her eyes far-away, thinking thoughtfully with a sly smirk. “Has anyone told you that you would make for an excellent, excellent duellist?”

Her eyebrows raised and shook her head.

That only prompted her teacher to smirk, in a satisfied sort of way. “You’re exceptionally strong for someone with no experience.”

There was a smug tone to Elway’s voice and she couldn’t quite place what she was getting at.

“Did you know that any professional duellist would kill for your wand? Or even the slight edge you have against them with your talent?”

“Erm… no?” Y/N said. She wondered if Elway needed glasses because surely, she wasn’t referring to herself. “Professor… are you sure you’re talking to the right student?”

She laughed so hard that she had to clutch her stomach tightly. She ignored her question. “My dear, do you have any ideas of what you want to be when you’re older?”

“Not really.”

“I have a proposition for you,” she beamed, flicking her long blonde, almost silver hair out of the way. “Let me take you under my wing, make you into a proper duellist.”

Y/N blinked. She didn’t know what to say and stood there with her mouth gaped.

“Yes, you heard that correctly.” Professor Elway teased. “I’d love to mentor you.”

She sputtered, positively confused and flustered. “I’m not at the top of the class, I struggle with Charms, I’ve never had a huge interest in it — I don’t know the first thing about duelling!”

“That’s what I’m here for, no? And your skill is exceptional and I know a duellist when I see one. You’ve shown the last few lessons that you’re capable of casting very strong spells.

“And do you know what separates a duellist from the masses? Energy, emotions and power. What changed when I told you to think about something motivating? A powerful Duellist may only be out of sheer power and brunt force, but a well-rounded Duellist listens to every part of their body. Their wand, their heart, the emotions that cause them to fight.”

“But —”

Elway flicked her wrist, mildly interested in her excuses. “Anyway, off to your next lesson. Take some time to think about it,” she smiled, clearly not going to take no for an answer. “I’ll be waiting for when you finally agree.”

Both Lily and James took her arms, hooking it with theirs and walked to Potions. They were staring at her, lost for words at Professor Elway’s proposition.

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“Yes, Pettigrew.” McGonagall scolded rather harshly. “The essay is due on Monday.”

Peter averted his gaze, grumbling out a thank you before exiting her office. “Dunno why she’s so strict with me.”

“She wants the best for you,” James tried to encourage as they all headed back to their common room.

Y/N couldn’t care less as she thought about later that night. No matter how hard she tried, Slughorn wouldn’t take no for an answer and she was almost forced to make an appearance at the Slugclub.

Lily was so excited, running through their dorm as she got ready.

Marlene sulked a bit, folding her arms across her chest. She was quiet enough for Lily not to hear, but Y/N heard her clear as day. “That’s not fair. I want to be invited. I want to feel special too.”

“You’re more than special,” Dorcas cut in, rubbing a hand up and down her shoulder. “You’re a star, baby.”

Y/N ignored them, fiddling with a small tube of eyeliner, watching Lily excitedly going through her closest.

Luckily, not only would Lily be there, but Remus, most likely Regulus — however, she doubted they would be able to interact — and funnily enough, James was invited too.

Inside the actual party was decent, a lot better than she expected. There were still the uptight students who thought they were above others, or the Purebloods that judged her when she walked into the room, but it was bearable.

Y/N chuckled as she watched Remus throwback drink after drink, sneakily stealing a few alcoholic beverages meant for the adults. His movements were so discreet that nobody ever suspected him.

She covered her smile behind her glass.

“Hi. It’s been awhile.”

Y/N turned around, and there, Aldrich McLaggen stood wearing a little smile. He trimmed his blond hair to sweep nicely and his cheekbones hallowed out.

“It has. And congratulations, I heard you’re on the Quidditch team.”

“Yes! Chaser - taking over Bell’s position.”

“So… How are you?”

If it was even possible, Aldrich’s smile grew wide. “I’ll be a lot better if I saw your smile tonight?”

She didn’t smile; unimpressed and decided to sip on her drink.

“Yeah,” Aldrich began again, “Didn’t think that would work.”

“A pretty big miss.” She grumbled.

“But I’m getting to know how to impress you in the future.”

Y/N turned to side-eye him. “Hmm? How?”

“How about -” And out of nowhere, he reached behind her ear and pulled out a red rose, handing it to her. Much like a Muggle magician.

She felt a coy smile tug at her lips and forced it down, but failed. “Nice one.”

“Everyone! Please come down and sit!” Slughorn announced, calling to all the students.

He beamed, flashing his teeth. “Don’t hide away again. I’d love to see you again.”

She tilted her head at him, tilting her glass before making her way to find her spot at the table.

The girl beside her had frizzy light brown hair and large glasses that looked like they were from an animated children’s television program. She was draped in a colourful shawl.

“Hi, I’m Y/N.”

But the other young witch smiled brightly, although never quite meeting her eyes as she outstretched her hand. “Sybill Trelawney.”

She shook Sybill’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”

But then Y/N took a good look at her and realized, “We’re in the same charms class, right?”

Sybill nodded her head, fingers tapping rapidly on the table. “For two years now. I sit a row behind you. And by the way, you're very pretty.”

She was taken back, a genuine smile spreading over her lips. “Thank you, you look lovely too! I adore your glasses.”

A light blush spread across Sybill’s face, her hand brushing against her glasses. Her eyes peered up for a second before averting her gaze. Y/N couldn’t help but smile, already enjoying Sybill’s presence.

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【 Next Chapter 】

© gotkindabored 2021. Do not repost or modify

[kerie-prince]

We're Worlds Apart (8)

Draco Malfoy x American No-Maj!reader

series m.list | general m.list | previous chp

warnings: mentions of smoking, mentions of death

summary: Draco Malfoy is a pureblood wizard. Magic runs through his veins and has been since his birth. You're a Wiccan No-Maj; a non-magical being with ordinary blood through your veins, but practices what you call magick. And this very practice upsets your neighbor.

a/n: god, i had MAJOR writers block for this chapter. i almost got lost in the direction i wanted this series to go and i'm still figuring out a way on how to not let this drag out too long. i'm debating on adding this to wattpad but i don't know how to make aesthetically pleasing cover art so if anyone could teach a bitch how, lmk ✋🏼😩

(gif cred)

Blaise has been acting differently than usual. Not that you had too many complaints considering that you hardly knew him. Better words would be that from the short time you knew him, he started acting different. What was once two nights a week turned into him staying with you almost everyday.

It was kind of annoying, actually. He was here to see Draco, not some random person he just met.

One morning, he got up early and tried to make breakfast, but he had no idea how to work any of the muggle items so rather than your alarm on your bed stand you woke up to the smoke alarm.

You woke up feeling groggy but had a pleasant soreness on your inner thighs. Before you even brushed your hair or teeth, you rushed as much as you could to see what was going on in your house. When you stepped into your kitchen, your toaster was on fire and there was smoke everywhere. Blaise was just standing by it scratching his head. It woke you right up; you ran to your small laundry room and snatched the fire hydrant.

After you put the fire out, you turned to Blaise, “What the hell happened?”

“I guess now would be a bad time to ask you to make breakfast?” He didn't really show that he was sorry. Maybe on the inside he was, but would it kill him to show it? You rubbed the temple of your nose bridge to smooth out the growing headache. Now you have to buy a new toaster and make food for this man.

The bell rang through your house in the early morning. You set the fire hydrant on the counter and walked to the front door to see who it was that was outside. Probably, no, hopefully Theo coming to pick his best friend up to take him out to go anywhere else that wasn't your house.

Fate was decidedly not on your side today. The person that stood on your porch was none other than your mother. “Ma? What are you doing here?”

“Don’t be rude, baby,” she let herself in just like she used to walk into your room when you were younger living in her house. She looked around and had a scrunched up look. “Y/N, what is burning?”

Just when the situation couldn't get any worse, Blaise walked out to the living room also assuming Theo was here to see him. It donned on you now that Blaise was shirtless and his pajama silk bottoms were sitting dangerously low on his hips. You were glad that he was wearing underwear or else your mother would see more than she needed to.

Blaise stood shockingly still and wasn't sure what to do, so he just did the first thing that came to mind. “Hello, I'm Blaise. Nice to meet you,” he held his hand out for your mother to shake.

She stood with a look of horror on her face and kept her hands to her side. As if it was natural, she gave you a disapproving look before looking back at the man in your house. Blaise retracted his hand and looked at you, “I'll just be at Draco’s then.”

You nodded and stayed with your mother as he put on his shirt in your room and left. “Y/N… what are you doing?”

“I could ask you the same thing. Isn't it a long ride from Boston?” you sassed.

“Don't give me that. I wanted to come see you and… and I wanted to say that I’m sorry.” You could tell that it was really hard for her to say the last bit. “I shouldn't have acted the way I acted on Thanksgiving.”

“What happened, ma?” you asked with your arms crossed, “I know it's not because of Stephanie also practicing Wicca. And if it is, then I really don't understand.”

“I just… why are you still doing this? All of this? I get that you wanted to be closer to your grandmother so I let you do whatever you wanted–”

“You let me? You make it sound like this is some hobby!” you yelled.

“IT IS A HOBBY,” she animated with her arms, “Y/N, you are 26 years old. When are you going to move on?”

“This is ridiculous, I need you to leave,” you began to escort your mother out of your house. “No, I’m staying. This was my house–”

“No, it was Grandma’s house and now it’s mine. Goodbye, mother,” you closed the door in her face and turned against it to lean on your back. Your face was in your hands and you wanted to scream.

You checked the time on your oven and saw you still had 45 extra minutes to do whatever you wanted before you had to get ready to open the store. Since Blaise has been over everyday and you haven't opened up to him about your practice, you wanted to spend extra time to soothe all the negative and stressful energy that was building up inside you.

The closet hadn't been opened in a few days and once you were facing all your herbs, crystals, and oils, you immediately felt better.

“It's been a while, girls,” you spoke to yourself. You grabbed some oils, a sage and crystals to get ready. And you had lots of work to do.

—

“Alright, you are good to go,” Draco released a child with their parents. Work has since died down since the huge fiasco earlier in the month. There was still the question as to who and why it all happened, but he decidedly let it go for now.

Recently, he's been getting closer with you with small chats every now and then since the day in Manhattan. Draco deemed you as now ‘okay’ in his book. Your chats were simple but not bad.

One thing that for sure was odd was Blaise suddenly staying there every night. He never got an explanation, nor has he ever asked him. Blaise was acting kind of strange, but Draco liked to think it was due to being homesick.

Thirteen hours had passed and Draco’s day would finally come to an end. Ian and Ashley asked him if he'd like to join them on a drink, but he declined. Theo called him and let him know that Blaise was home, so he was going to drink with the two of them. He had yet to introduce his work friends with his best friends and was planning to before they went back to London.

As he pulled up home, he saw you sitting alone on your porch. You had a stoic look on your face and had a cigarette in between your fingers. Draco didn't think you smoked at all. He has never seen you do it once in the months living next to you.

He figured he’d just be a good neighbor and say hello. He walked over and knocked on the wooden porch to gain your attention. You were pulled out of whatever thought you were in the middle of and looked at him. “Oh, hi,” you greeted without your usual enthusiasm.

Draco went through his coat pockets for his own pack and pulled one out. He then realized that he didn't have one of those muggle lighters and tried to figure out how to light his smoke without magic like he usually did.

To you, it seemed that he just forgot a lighter so you pulled out yours and gestured for Draco to come closer. He leaned in and accepted it, “I didn't know you smoked.”

You chuckled to yourself, “Yeah, I uh, quit a year ago.”

Draco raised an eyebrow, “You don't look like you quit.” He took a couple puffs of his cigarette and looked out on the street. You took a particularly long puff and slowly let the smoke out of your lips, “Well, when you have a mom like mine, you start up old habits again.”

“You’ve never met my father,” Draco commented under his breath, “She seemed nice when I met her.”

“She's nice to everyone but her own daughter,” you rolled your eyes. You let your cigarette out and almost started another one, but something stopped you. You leaned back into your chair and closed your eyes.

“Have you two always fought?” Draco asked. You kept at your position but opened your eyes. You gave it some thought before eventually nodding ‘yes’. “What about your father?”

The question seemed to have affected you; your eyes started getting glossy and your bottom lip quivered. Draco noticed. Should I not have asked that?

“He passed away when I was 12,” you sounded like your breath was cut short. Your hands reached up to cover your eyes and wipe away any tears before they could fall down.

As much as Draco and Lucius never saw eye to eye, he couldn't really imagine losing his father. Sure, Lucius was harsh on his son and always compared him to Potter, but Draco still cared about him. And he knew that Lucius loved him in his own way. Maybe you weren't all that different.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” Draco consoled. You stood up to go inside. The weather was cold and your cashmere sweater wasn't doing you any good. “Thank you.” Draco let his cigarette out and told you ‘Good night’ before leaving.

Stepping down, he looked back and called for you, “Y/N.” You hadn't closed the door yet, so you looked back with your door held by your hand, waiting for whatever Draco had to say. “If you ever need to talk… I'm right next door.”

It surprised you to say the least. But it unexpectedly made you warm on the inside. “Thank you, Dray.” He nodded and waved before going home.

Inside, Theo sat on one of the chairs in the kitchen eating leftovers from the night before and Blaise was going through the Daily Prophet. “How was work?” the latter friend asked.

“Alright. Good to see you here for once,” Draco greeted. Blaise laughed without taking his eyes off the paper, “Can't a man be with his girlfriend before he leaves?”

“Ha, is that what you two are?” Theo teased from across the room with his mouth stuffed, “Look at Blaise; he finally settled down. Hell has officially frozen over.”

Blaise listed one hand to flip off Theo. Draco, however, felt a churn in his stomach. It was weird to hear Blaise call you his girlfriend. No one has gotten Blaise to call them that, but somehow you did it.

He wasn't really sure Blaise even knew what it meant to have a girlfriend, or even how to be a boyfriend. He never asked what they did knowing that he'd get endless teasing.

Draco grumbled to himself and went to his room. He changed into comfortable clothes and right when he was about to join Theo in the kitchen, he looked at his window for a moment. He peeked through his window and saw you through yours.

You sat on your bed with your legs up to your chest and your arms wrapped them close. Your face had no expression on it, but considering the conversation less than an hour ago, one could assume that you were sad.

“You fancy her, don't you?” Blaise surprised Draco, making the blond jump. “Merlin, Blaise, don't do that.”

“Well?” Blaise stood against the open door with arms and legs crossed. Draco rolled his eyes and walked towards the door, but Blaise didn't budge from his position. “I don't fancy anybody, now move.”

“I don't care if you do. But I do care when you lie to me. And yourself,” Blaise’s tone was threatening.

“Shouldn't you fancy her? She's your girlfriend,” Draco matched his tone. “Besides, if she was, shouldn't you be pissed if I did?”

“I do fancy her, but I'm not the one living next to her. Eventually, I'm leaving,” Blaise reminded his best friend. “So do us the favor and figure out whatever it is you want, or I'll find a reason to stay.” With that, Blaise left to his shared room and slammed the door.

What in Salazar is his deal? Draco thought. He walked up to his fridge and rummaged through all the containers of leftover food. I really need to learn how to cook.

Theo was still eating when he started talking, “Blaise has been pissy all day. What you reckon is his deal?”

“‘M gonna guess there's trouble in paradise and she's sick of him,” Draco jokes. His eyes land on the Chinese food from a couple nights ago and warms it up with his wand.

“Hm, as if,” Theo commented. He cleaned his mess up when he finished and turned to Draco. “Night, mate. Fingers crossed he doesn't yell at me and I have to sleep on the couch.”

“Night,” Draco replied and sat down on one of the high chairs. He thought a lot about you telling him about your father. He sat and wondered if you told Blaise. Maybe you even opened up to him about your… craft? Draco didn't know what to call it yet.

But he figured that if you did, Draco would be the first person Blaise would tell. And seeing as even Theo, the biggest mouth between the three, hasn't said anything, then that meant that you probably hadn't told Blaise.

And for a quick second, passing just as quickly as it came, he wondered if you would tell him first.

—

It was currently December 18th. Your dad's birthday. Usually you'd ride with your mother to his stone in Boston, but seeing as your latest argument was bothering you, staring at photos of him was going to be enough today.

You hardly remembered much about him since you were young, but you remember the good moments and some of the bad. The bad being the last of his days. His cancer was strong as it was caught too late by doctors.

The store was closed today per usual. You never had it opened on his birthday. Blaise was also at Draco's house. You'd ask him to have the day to yourself and when he asked why, you didn't explain.

Your door bell rang and you groaned, hoping it wasn't your mother again.

"Hey," your brother greeted you. "Y/B/N, hey. Come in, you're probably freezing." Inside, he took his jacket off and hung it on your coat rack. He sat on the couch and your cat ran to sit on his lap. "Sometimes, I think she likes you more than me," you chuckled as your brother gave her head strokes and she purred loudly.

"How come you're by yourself? We missed you today," your brother asked. You sat beside him and closed the photo book. "I didn't feel like fighting with mom again today."

"Y/N/N, I know she's hard to handle, but she needed you today," he reached out for your hand and squeezed it. "I needed you, too."

"Well, she has a funny way of showing it," you stared into nothing. You rested your head on his shoulder and wrapped your throw blanket over your shoulders. "Sometimes, I almost forget what he's like. His laugh, how he made Ma smile. How he smelled," you started.

Your brother was 8 when your dad died, so his memory was limited. But he still remembers how much he loved him. You both sat in silence, hands locked and the only sound being your cats purring.

"Mom told me you have a boyfriend. That true?" he asked.

"I don't know. Maybe? He hasn't said anything, and he leaves after New Years, so maybe not," you half-explained. What was Blaise to you? Did he feel anything when you were together? Was it just physical? You didn't know, and you never asked.

"Well, if he breaks your heart, I don't care where he lives. I'm beating his ass," your brother commented. You hit his shoulder and he laughed. "How's Steph? I haven't been able to call her," you asked.

"Oh. Um, we're taking a break." Your brother sounded sad. You sat up and looked at your baby brother. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I think Mom just spooked her. But I'll get her back," he sounded only partly sure of himself. You nodded and rested back on his shoulder. He stayed for a few hours; watched a movie and had dinner before he left back for Boston to see your mom once more.

When he left, you sat in your room and lit up some incense to calm your nerves. Out your window, Draco's curtains were closed as usual. Something inside you wanted to talk to someone that wasn't your brother, Blaise, or even Miranda and Bianca.

It wasn't that Draco wasn't the best of friends, but you had an indescribable pull towards him, and you wondered if it was the same for him.

—

next chp

(っ◔◡◔)っ taglist: @beiahadid @malfoy-styles-wife @fivenightslaughter @juneballoon999 @leydileyla @fangirlanotherjust @originalsoulcollector @opiomancy @lipstickandloveletters @ninacotte @daedric-sorceress @frecklesandfirecrackers @hahee154hq @disartrous @oh-those-barricade-boys @lunalovecroft @bornforfangirling @c4th3r1ne @burnin-passion

[lululawrence]

lululawrence’s December 2018 Fic List

Click here for previous months’ fic lists

It’s December! As usual, it has given us many glorious fic reading opportunities, both those that are holiday focused as well as Louis birthday focused and totally not December related at all. I loved so many while I was trying not to go completely insane with the craziness that is also part of the season, despite not having gotten to nearly as many as I wanted to, but here are the ones that really helped me survive the past month.

The Lace That Saved Christmas by @alarrylarrie / Larrymama15 What a great way to kick off a fic rec, honestly. This fic was so cute and sweet and pure and lovely and all things good! Plus a bit saucy hehe Manda uses her words for good once again and blessed us with a Christmas fic this time. Defo a great fic to reread every year hehe

Just Say the Word by @louandhazaf / YesIsAWorld I am horrifically behind on all of the girl direction fics from the exchange, but this one was fantastic. The TENSION and the sexiness from a fucking kiss!!! I’m telling you, i was fanning myself reading it and it was a bloody kiss! Anyway. You have to read this if you have even considered girl direction, because it is soft and wonderful. And who doesn’t love pining idiot girls in love?

Treat Mothman With Kindness by @lesbianiconharrystyles / flowercrownfemme Okay yeah this fic was fantastic in the most crack fic way. It was crack, and yet not. It was soft and lovely and pining again and like…mothman Harry? You know you want to. hahaha The entire cast of characters is fabulous, though. Especially the lesbian cats.

The light is coming by @pocketsunshineharry / ishiplouis Okay so like. This fic has everything I love about A/B/O in it haha It’s angsty with a touch of softness and the kind of gritty animalistic undertones that can come with A/B/O fics that I kinda adore. Louis is pregnant and a bit feral as an omega and Harry is the softhearted alpha baker who just wants to take care of him. There is nesting, fighting of instincts, and all sorts of wonderful things. A fab read.

There’s really nothing better (than a beautiful boy in an ugly Christmas sweater) by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed / we_are_the_same This is another adorable pining Christmas fic featuring a meet cute, punny Christmas sweaters, and a bet. Hehe It’s adorable and cute and I love it. A completely fluffy and soft read that is perfect for a cold night snuggled beneath blankets.

The Christmas Lift by @homosociallyyours / homosociallyyours Fake dating! Misunderstandings! Annoying but affectionate coworkers! Annoying saxophone playing neighbors! This fic has them all and it’s all done to PERFECTION. I was still thinking about this days later, which is always a good sign. Another great read.

Holiday Greetings (And Gay Happy Meetings) by @2tiedships2 / 2tiedships2 This is actually the first half of the fic! I haven’t gotten a chance to read the second half yet, so it’ll probably be part of my January list, but this first one is SO GOOD. I loved how she worked the fact that Louis and Harry had not only met before under less than stellar circumstances, but things just worked together so perfectly. It’s such a fun fic and I can’t wait to see how it all comes together for Louis’ birthday in the second part.

Empty Nights by Anonymous This is the fic that was written for me for the Tomlinshaw exchange! And unfortunately the only one I’ve been able to read from the exchange at large as of yet. Sigh. I’ll get to the others hopefully in January! Anyway, this one was FAB. It was so painful and angsty and awkward and lovely but all without being too much. So many feelings and it all comes together so so so perfectly and they are truly the answer to all the upset surrounding them and how healing and beautiful is that? Anyway. It’s a really really great read, and this person’s very first fic ever! I loved it.

Her Love On My Lips by @suddenclarityharry / FallingLikeThis SO SOFT! SO SWEET! SO PERFECT! I loved this fic and the way Tabby imbued so much emotion and feeling into the words. It’s so impactful while still being short somehow. I adored it. So, if girl direction is for you, you will LOVE this fic. If it isn’t for you, fine, but you’re missing out on a hella amazing fic here.

Winter Drabbles by @homosociallyyours / homosociallyyours These three drabbles came together to tell a longer story arch and it was so lovely. Such a sweet little taste of how they are together. I really liked them!

Drabbles by @laynefaire / Layne Faire (HisDarlin) The only other drabbles I’ve read as of yet, because I am woefully behind on pretty much all reading, but these are all amazing as well! This collection holds the drabbles Layne has written for the previous drabbles fests as well as the winter drabbles she wrote, so just hop on in and enjoy the ride, because they’re all wonderful.

Christmas With The Devil by @taggiecb / taggiecb Are you seeing a trend with my reading this month? I focused on shorter fics because I couldn’t handle anything long, and JUST LIKE ALWAYS Lacey took her Satan/Santa series and ramped it up a bit more with this one. How does she always infuse so much melancholy and fear and just…full-bodied emotions into her soft and happy fluff? She does! Just a touch of this and a pinch of that and it comes out to be this completely delectable experience of a fluffy cake. So anyway. That got out of hand, but all the same, this is a fab addition to the series and I highly recommend it.

Make my wish come true by @tommosgun / Star_Henderson Listen. Shar is one of the first writers i followed in this fandom and I’ve never looked back. This fic reminds me so much of why I fell in love with her stories to begin with. They’re so fun, there’s always an emotional bond that is so strong and so immediate and the way she writes it is like exploring something new. I can’t even explain it, but this fic is defo a Shar classic that was so fun for Christmas.

Set Your Heart A-Whirl by @becomeawendybird / QuickedWeen The first of six fics from our Secret Santa fic exchange, I’m kicking it off with this one because IT WAS WRITTEN FOR ME!!! We all wrote a fic based on the same prompt, and this one was just beautiful. It was so soft and sweet and cute and funny and ahhhhhhh! A true pleasure. You’ll love it. Go read it. hehe

Do Not Falter (There’s a Star Ahead) by @londonfoginacup / LadyLondonderry This was Emmu’s fic for Molly and NESTING OMEGA HARRY!!! Oh gosh this fic made me squeal softly into my pillow as I read it. I loved it. I’m sighing again just thinking about it now.

Twinkle Lights and Snowy Nights by @haloeverlasting / haloeverlasting This was the fic Brit wrote for Bri and SHE HURT US ALL. There is so much emotion and fear and hurt and yet love. So so so much love! And healing! Gahhhhh it’s beautiful and art and poetry and makes you just want to cuddle in some blankets. It was glorious.

You Should Be Here With Me by @dimpled-halo / dimpled_halo Jacky like… took Emmu and wrapped her up into a fic from the bubble tea to IKEA to just… ALL OF IT. Another fab A/B/O fic that is so soft and rife with miscommunications and good intentions and fixing what was messed up and just. LOVELY.

This Christmas by @suddenclarityharry / FallingLikeThis I might have commented on this fic twice and not even realized, but that’s okay because Tabby deserves all the comments on this fic. It is such a great read, featuring Exes to Lovers, and has flashbacks that fill in the back story as we go. It’s a wonderful read with just the right touch of pain and angst and just. Sigh. Wonderful.

love isn’t brains, children, it’s blood by @briannamarguerite / BriaMaria Bri went and wrote a full on Buffy fic for Tabby for the exchange!! It’s hard core and wonderful and Zayn as Spike kinda made the entire fic for me. Like, Harry as Angel and Louis as Buffy was already pretty amazing, especially when I realized Steve was Giles, but then Roman Kemp was tossed into the mix with Liam and I was just like the shock emoji the entire time I was reading. It was wonderful and such a great read! 

Forget the Silent Nights by @londonfoginacup / LadyLondonderry As of writing this up, I still haven’t finished the last chapter of any of the three advent fics from this year, but it’s okay because I adored them all. This one was such fun reading from all the varied POVs and having little snippets of their history mixed in with the present story! I loved reading the insanity every day. You’ll have to go as Emmu how much of the fic is based on real life, too. The answer might surprise you. hahahaha

Santa Baby Honey by @sadaveniren / SadaVeniren Crack fic meets advent fic in the very best of ways. hahaha I died laughing so many times while reading this and went screaming to sada about it and it was just. Such fun and so insane and great and just. Do yourself a favor and read it because it’s a fucking TRIP.

hymns for restless stars by @turnyourankle / turnyourankle This fic had such feeling!!! Famous/non-famous!!! But of course, it’s complicated. Never so easy as just that. It’s wonderful and so soft and worrying and painful and lovely and made me cry just a touch. hehe This was the perfect addition to the other perhaps more lighthearted advent fics because while it was also lighthearted, this one also gave a dose of heavier emotions too.

And that’s it! I have SO MANY MORE Christmas fics to catch up on, so most of my January reading will probably be that. Get ready! hehe Happy belated Christmas for those that celebrate, Happy New Year to everyone, and ALWAYS Happy Reading! Please remember to leave kudos and comments (and reblog their fic posts, if they link them!) to show your appreciation!

[theanoninyouraskblog]

Well, well, well

You all know the drill. Lets go. @erasermic-aus​ this is gonna be fun.

Lets get right into it. 

Obvious: 

1: That's a hand over a mouth right there, but more on that later. 

2: Grey colors, and they match his sweater. A nice touch. But more importantly it implies sadness, hopelessness depression etc. 

3: Lets talk about these words, I’m a good kid I swear, what did you do Yamada? What did you DO?!?

4: This is actually very interesting, so far all we’ve gotten about this AU’s hizashi has been adult, and we have nothing about Shouta, but back to Hizashi. As we can see he’s got the shorter hair cut typically associated with his youth. In addition to the kid mention, so unless we’re dabbling in multiple universe theorem, we can assume this is the younger version of this guy. 

Now, lets look at some more subtle elements. 

1: That's some tears, he’s crying, once more, more on the story elements of this later. 

2: Interesting way of doing the colors Henry. In fact, it’s actually a commonly used technique. With darkness fading into light a lot of classic scenes from shows and movies are made, usually symbolizing conflict, however there are two types. The dark at the top fading down to light, which typically takes place when the conflict is external, think... superhero or someone getting shot, those are the two places this is used most often. Fading dark to light bottom to top is usually symbolizing internal conflict. 

3: That's an interesting way to draw the ground, and while I’m pretty sure its stylistic, it does make our gray background look a lot like smoke, which brings up the question, is this dust from rubble? More on this in a bit, I swear, I’m getting to it. 

Posturing: 

Well first thing to point out is he's kneeling, not like some one hit him and he fell back, so we’re saying he fell to his knees. Covering his mouth, head down, he cant bring himself to look up, shoulders hunched. 

Actually looks a bit like a panic attack.

And that seems like all I can get out of this picture.

BUT DONT WORRY!

There is in fact not just one piece of art but two!

You’ll have to forgive me, I normally screen shot these so they’re easier for me to find, his hair got a bit chopped off. 

OH HO, HO!

Lets get through the stuff, I’ll get to story right after we do these notes. 

Obvious: 

1: Hand over mouth again, I’ll go into detail about this during posturing. 

2: He’s crying, poor lad!

3: That's not the same sweater as the previous image, which either means henry decided to draw him differently for no reason or this is a separate occasion of Hizashi having a break down. 

4: Mute? Hizashi Yamada? Did I hear you right? Hizashi Yamada is not mute. Besides we know this Hizashi can speak from the previous art. No this refers to something else, he doesn't want to speak, or feels like he cant. I’m barely restraining myself from spilling my theory, bear with me. 

Subtle: 

1: Hizashi isn't wearing hearing aids. I know this because I have it from reliable sources. And by that I mean Henry himself: 

So we can assume this is either A: Before Hizashi’s hearing damage was diagnosed, or B: he/his family cant afford them yet. However he does get them later in life as we can see here: 

2: This is more so posturing but that's the same hand over the mouth and same hand down... interesting

3: Once again the background conveys internal conflict. 

Posturing:

Hand over mouth again, you know what this reminds me of: 

Pearl.

If you don't know pearl from Steven Universe, without going into too much detail or spoilers, Pearl is unable to talk about a certain... thing. Basically she cant talk about something traumatic to her because she’s sworn to keep it a secret. 

Now while I doubt this is the same situation for Hizashi, I think its clear he’s suffering through something, regret of some deed or something like that and he’s taken to covering his mouth as a sort of... coping method per say. 

I think we can finally move to story.

Now this is what I think happened: 

Hizashi as a young child developed his quirk and it was so destructive, he was unable to keep it under wraps, now I’m terrible at guessing age, but this hizashi is probably between 8 and uhh 13. He loses control of his quirk and kills/hurts someone, and while this could defiantly be a stranger I’m suspecting it was someone close to him, probably one of the only people who supported him and maybe if they feel like twisting the knife they say something about being wrong after all before they die. 

The destructiveness of his quirk leads to him collapsing in shame (see image 1) swearing that he never meant to do this among the dust and rubble. 

People start treating him like a criminal/start talking about a quirk like his could never be used for good or he could never be a hero, he was only destine to hurt. Think Shinsou if you will. 

He takes to covering his mouth, staying quiet, he doesn't really speak, too afraid to hurt someone, but over the years the resentment of the people around him begins to wear on him. 

I’m thinking something happens, probably mid to late teenage years, perhaps someone tries to hurt him or kill him and he kills them or at least makes them fear him. 

The mania begins to set in, his eyes dilate and become wild, maybe a smudge of blood at his jaw. 

He turns to a life of villainy, with a radio show/maybe blog, where he may or may not admit to being a villain on it, maybe it’s the Present Mic Radio Show, and he’s just the only villain wild enough to have a radio show where they talk about their villainous activities, but anyway he has this radio show. 

One night while he’s off villaining he runs in to either hero Eraserhead or Villain Eraserhead, and develops a massive crush or at least a slight obsession. 

He proceeds to gush about it on his show (”He Was Amazing”).

Now this is where everything gets more vague and we have to rely on circumstantial evidence. 

Specifically: 

And 

Now my two shakes go like this: After their encounter, at some point Hizashi captures Aizawa. 

After that your guess is as good as mine. 

Unless of course you’re henry or windy in which case. 

Better look out, I’ve finally got something to sink my teeth into and I don't plan on letting go. 

[behind-the-screen-of-bangtan]

Details in '작은 것들을 위한 시 (Boy With Luv) feat. Halsey'

← Back to Map of the Soul Persona

Release date: 12 April 2019

Official content:

Teaser 1, Teaser 2

Episode of the shooting

MV Photo Sketch

Other versions: dance practice,  'ARMY With Luv' ver., dance practice (Eye contact ver.), Practice record for the 2023 Festa

Behind the scenes:

Dispatch’s article

Tweet with a picture of the set: x, x

Posts from MU:E the art directors (@nomaaaaaaaad and @bona._.b): #1, #2, #3, #4

Outfits and accessories: thread by @GetOnSwag, j-hope’s sweater, SUGA’s cap (cr. Bangtan Style)

Bangtan Bombs filmed on the set:

Jimin's Short and Sweet Impersonation

How to Stay Warm on the Set

BTS' Caretaker Jin

Cute and Adorable BTS

There's a Dog on the Set with BTS!

I Prayed That I Could Get to My Part

Translations and analysis:

Lyrics

Doolsetbangtan’s translation and notes

DKDKTV’s explanation

Muish’s rambling

Wisha’s translation and notes

Interview with professor Jiyoung Lee: part 1, part 2

The official description of the song is a funk-pop genre track, singing the delight of a small and simple love, about one’s interest and love of another. It not only expresses the enjoyment and fluttery feelings of love, it consists of a melody that is easy to listen to. (src)

The literal translation of the Korean title is “A Poem For The Small Things” (src). The English title is a reminder of “Boy In Luv”, the main track of Skool Luv Affair.

Singin in the Rain

Singin in the Rain is a 1952 musical movie where a crew makes one of the first talking movies. It was explained in official articles (trans) that the MV is a homage to the movie.

Several posters of the movie can be seen here and there in the background.

Note that in the top picture, some of the posters on the wall are for the 1951 movie I’ll See You in my Dreams. It’s visible on j-hope’s picture in the memory album for 2019.

And you can also see a reference to the infamous scene where the main character sings “Singin in the rain” in the street under the rain. j-hope even does the same move with the street lamp.

Another reference is during RM verse. In the movie, they describe a scenario about a young man coming to the city to become famous and eventually succeeding. The scene referenced in the MV is the moment when the man is famous and on top of the world.

RM also has an umbrella - that looks like it’s a fan gift - instead of a cane, keeping with the title of the movie.

@780613 on Twitter made a video listing those references as well as more subtle ones and tropicalilies drew parallels between the movie and the concept of Persona

Self-references

The theater is named after ”Boy With Luv”’s album, namely Map of the Soul Persona.

SUGA’s set is a piano, reminding of his strong connection with music:

he knows how to play the piano

his solo song in WINGS, “First Love” is about a brown piano from his childhood

pianos are also central for his BU character

The Singing in the rain remake is also the occasion to fit old albums names:

O!RUL8,2?

Dark & Wild

(Love Yourself 結) Answer

You Never Walk Alone 4.5 (Love Yourself 承) Her (behind the YNWA sign)

2 Cool 4 Skool

(花樣年華) Young forever

(Map of the Soul) Persona

Sha (for Shadow, which may have been the second part of the Map of the Soul series but ended up replaced by MAP OF THE SOUL 7)

Love Yourself

花樣年華

Skool Luv Affair

WINGS

The MV ends with the same pose as in “Boy In Luv”. Except that Jungkook changes his sign at the last moment to make it mean “I love you” in sign language. V_in_love_ made a compilation of all the moves similar to previous choreographies.

Details

jhatesnake noticed that the background in some scenes could have been inspired by Van Gogh’s style.

The menu of the diner can be seen on the window and there’s a promotional poster made by Ryan Stanikk for The Southampton Solent Union.

Here’s the menu from the diner (please note that the last price is a deduction as only the 3 was visible in Memories of 2019):

In the episode, Jung Kook pointed out that the wooden floor in the diner looked similar to the ARMY logo:

‘ARMY With Luv' ver.

This version is the occasion for Big Hit to show us more footage from the “Boy With Luv” MV. Thanks to it we also have the full handshake of Halsey and RM.

They also replaced the LOVE sign with a purple ARMY one.

[birdthany]

So I got tagged in two different ask memes at around the same time, once by @subarulesbian and once by @mollyglock and I’m going to consolidate them under one cut because some of the questions repeat

First, the one I was tagged in by @subarulesbian​. Because this one is longer and therefore has more of the repeats 1. How tall are you? 5′6.5

2. What color and style is your hair? Right now it’s shoulder-length brown fluff. Think like Regina Spektor’s hair if she didn’t brush or style it and rolled around a lot in her sleep.

3. What color are your eyes? Blueish grayish.

4. Do you wear glasses? Yes, though I often go without them

5. Do you wear braces? Not since eighth grade

6. What is your fashion style? Don’t have much of one, but I like leggings, sweaters, and adding pins and patches to jackets and jeans. 

7. Full name? Bethany Johanna

8. When were you born? October ‘97, though for Reasons I consider April 22 to be my Birthday, and it’s the one I Celebrate

9. Where are you from and where do you live now? Massachusetts, near Boston. And Massachusetts, near Boston.

10. What school do you go to? I go to a local Comewnitty Cawledge. 

11. What kind of student are you? Not an amazing one. Usually I know all the material but my executive dysfunction and anxiety causes me to miss or lose a bunch of the assignments and/or tests, and my migraines make me miss class, so I end up with very middling grades.

12. Do you like school? Depends on the subject, the atmosphere of the class, and how understanding the professor is about the aforementioned issues I have.

13. What are your favourite school subjects? well i majored in philosophy so i guess that lol.

14. Favorite TV shows? okay i like hardly watch tv anymore but i will come out of my cave for better call saul, stranger things, westworld, and bob’s burgers. also i’ve seen scrubs and the x files all the way through like a hundred times each.

16. Favorite books? The Animorphs series. Lately I’ve been rereading ASOUE, too. Other than excellent childrens’ series I mostly read nonfiction.

17. Favourite past-time? Chilling, talking to friends, art, listening to music

18. Do you have any regrets? Hah. Haha. I guess I’ll say “being too tolerant of bullshit.”

19. Dream job? Last time I got an ask meme I said “head of a successful band and author,” and then I realized I was describing Gerard Way, but I don’t really have a different answer. I’d love to rescue guinea pigs professionally but that’s even less attainable. 

20. Would you like to get married? Theoretically..... Dunno how likely it is though. Because of Circumstances

21. Would you like to have kids someday? Not biologically, never ever biologically, but I’d like to adopt.

22. How many? 2 or 3, probably. Sibling relationships are important to me

23. Do you like shopping? If I have a gift card and a lot of energy, yeah. Otherwise, no. and I hate clothes shopping

24. What countries have you visited? I can name every country in the world, but I have been to none outside the US.

25. What’s the scariest nightmare you’ve ever had? Oh, boy. You’ve gotta be way more specific than that. 

26. Do you have any enemies? Not super sure. I think there are some people who would consider me an enemy that I’ve just moved on from thinking about at all.

27. Do you have a s/o? Noooope. Not gonna do that again for awhile, either

28. Do you believe in miracles? Probably? Depends on what exactly you mean, again. I’ll say probably. Now, the one I was tagged in by @mollyglock

★ nickname: Most people just call me Bethany, but my ex used to call me “Bread” and Jay sometimes calls me “B” or “Bthany” (pronounced like bee-thany)

★ zodiac: tauruś 

★ height: 5′6.5″. yes the half inch is important (I know I already answered this but I think it’s funny that I didn’t have to change Robin’s answer at all)

★ last movie i saw: hhhhh I.... uh..... Oh! It was Bohemian Rhapsody.

★ last thing i googled: “november 2018 movies” trying to remember what the last movie I saw was. Before that “regina spektor hair” to make sure I was remembering right for my previous answers

★ favorite musician: 

now the last thing I googled was “gerard way deviantart stamp” 

★ song stuck in my head: “Come One, Come All” by All Time Low. I don’t really listen to them, but it’s on my playlist of “songs that are weirdly hateful towards DJs” 

★ other blogs: This is it babey

★ do i get asks: Sometimes! More often I get posts sent to me from the Messaging function

★ following: 569 but probably like half are inactive

★ followers: 339

★ amount of sleep: Absolutely completely varied and random. Today it was a lot, tomorrow it might be none.

★ lucky number: 13, I suppose

★ what i’m wearing: Magic school bus T-shirt, Cape Cod sweatshirt, and Jeggings. Because I’m an adult. Oh, and a warm beanie-ish type hat.

★ dream job: Already answered!

★ dream trip: I really want to see the world eventually... I’d be happy going just about anywhere tbh, but I really want to leave the country. Somewhere warm with really cool wildlife like Australia would be awesome.

★ favorite food: Anything that combines tomatoes with mozzarella or chocolate with peppermint. 

★ play any instruments: I did violin as a kid and still kinda remember how to play it, I’m an amateur at guitar, and I did voice for quite awhile but my voice is different than it was before so I fuck up singing a lot now

★ language: I’m only fluent in English, but I'm also conversational in ASL because my mom is an ASL interpreter and her BF and many of her friends I grew up around are all Deaf

★ favorite song: I’m going to follow Robin’s example and pick a Danger Days song, I’m gonna go with Party Poison! It seems appropriate since that whole ‘verse but also that song specifically is why the Party Poison symbol is the one I had Gerard draw so I can get it tattooed 

★ random fact: Birds are my Brand(tm) but I love guinea pigs just as much, and I have Three of them. whereas I only have the one bird

★ describe yourself in an aesthetic: I have little-to-no awareness of my own appearance or vibe, I don’t really know if I have an aesthetic? I’d like to think I give off an artsy and loving vibe. I pretty much always have paint and/or animal fur/hay on my clothes, so it seems possible. 

[pain-somnia]

Differential [4/?]

Day’s Note: again, this fic is rated M for sexual content. proceed with caution.

Summary: college kids should really try sleeping more often.

first | previous | next

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ 

Chapter Four: Sleeping Arrangements

The last place she expected to see Sasuke was in the library.

It was stupid really considering they both attended the same university and would both need to show up in the library at some point in the semester if not multiple times.

She just hadn’t expected to see him in the stacks at one in the morning.

She knew he was a night owl but she also knew he preferred the quiet of his room away from the rest of the world.

Away from her.

Sakura shuffled past him, pressing her notebook against her chest as if it would will the beating of her heart to quiet. Maybe he wouldn’t notice that she was there.

She could just hear Karin berating her for the missed opportunity.

There was something about the isolation of the stacks at this hour at night that made Sakura’s imagination run wild. And she had always had a rather vivid imagination.

How good the Sasuke of her imagination looked, with his eyebrows drawn down in frustration and glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose. One hand covering his mouth to stifle his moans and the other buried in her hair as she took him in her mouth.

Sakura swallowed hard and rest her forehead against a row of books. Why did it have to be Sasuke that she thought about?

Sakura peered through the gap of space between the books and the next shelf up.

Sasuke was in the middle of turning a page of the book he had just pulled down. Sakura watched in fascination at the gentle cradle of the book. At the way his strong hands spread to hold the book comfortable, the muscles and veins clearly defined in the act.

We’re not here for that, she chided herself.

Sakura had planned to be asleep but Ino had invited the boy from Konoha Institute College of Art and so she escaped the dorm. Not even hiding out in the communal area of the suite was far away enough from the sounds being emitted.

If Karin’s roommate wasn’t so vile she would have taken the empty bed. Karin didn’t need it because she was out “tutoring” one of the KU swimmers for the past 3 days with no return. Even when she was in their dorm she didn’t sleep in her bed choosing to cuddle with either Ino or Sakura.

Anything to get away from her roommate.

Sakura would have complained earlier about the evening arrangements but she knew exactly what would happen.

Ino would just taunt her about her single status and how she would loosen up a little if she would only just go and get laid every once in a while. She would then bring it up to Karin later who would remind Sakura that she didn’t need a boyfriend in order to have sex.

But it wasn’t as if she were waiting to be in a relationship. Sakura had just ruined it for herself by building up all of her sexual fantasies surrounding a specific individual.

Sure she could go and experience it all in reality but none of it would ever top the daydream she was currently having of her neighbor using the same hand to hold his book to clamp over her mouth as she braced herself against the bookshelves and he panted in her ear.

“Fuck.”

Sakura clamped her hand over mouth. The word had slipped out and sounded breathier than she would have liked. She was at a dead end and had nowhere to hide, so when the sound of approaching footsteps got closer she hid her face in a book.

The clearing of a throat had her sliding the book down so she could peer over it.

Sasuke towered over her, arms crossed in front of his chest and frowning down at her through his glasses, an eyebrow raised.

Am I about to be punished?

The errant thought passed through her mind before she could reign it back.

God, there’s something wrong with me.

“Why would you need a book on optoelectronics?”

“Opto-what?” Sakura frowned and took a better look at the book she had grabbed. She really grabbed a book irrelevant to what she was researching. She had been so distracted that she had walked into the wrong row.

“I don’t,” Sakura mumbled, sliding the book back in its place.

“When was the last time you slept?”

“Huh?” Sakura blinked up at him. Sleep?

The end of the semester was approaching. On top of papers that were due, Sakura had exams to study for and she was the person that always overloaded her credits.

“I took a two hour nap on Thursday?”

“Go back to your dorm.”

Sakura snapped out of her daze at the order. It was said out of interest for her health but she couldn’t get over the bossy tone Sasuke used. How typical of him to tell her to do something he wouldn’t do himself.

“You go back to your dorm,” Sakura snarked back. She turned on her heel and walked into the proper section.

“How did you mistake a book for a microform?” Sasuke had followed her, ignoring the fact that she gave him attitude.

“I’m just a little tired.” Sakura refused to look at him, cheeks flushing with heat. She was more than a little tired. Which probably explained why it was so easy for her mind to drift off.

“Then go to sleep.”

“I can’t sleep on that couch.”

“Why would you be sleeping on the couch?”

“Ino,” Sakura replied with a sheepish grin. “She has a guest.”

Sasuke didn’t look very amused by her reason. He stared down at her long enough to make her uncomfortable. Sakura shifted her gaze away from him but she could still feel his eyes on her.

“Let’s go.”

Sakura almost dropped the envelope of microfiches she was absentmindedly rifling through. She wasn’t even completely sure what it was that she originally entered the stacks for.

“Go? Go where?”

Sasuke rolled his eyes and wrapped his fingers around her wrist. Sakura’s eyes widened and she bit down on her lower lip.

It was a bad time to remember how much larger he was than her. His hand completely wrapped itself around her wrist.

He hadn’t always been so much taller than she was. Or his fingers so much larger. She recalled being thirteen and pressing her palm right up against his and comparing their sizes. They were always a perfect match but that year his fingers were marginally bigger, the tiniest sliver of flesh peeking around her slim fingers.

“To my dorm. So you can sleep.”

Tugging on her wrist, he gently led her past all of the rows and and up the few steps to the first floor of the library. Instead of dropping her wrist, he continued to lead her out into the crisp winter air.

There was nothing rough about how he held her but it remained firm and sure.

Like it always was. . .

“There’s nothing to cry about.”

Sakura sniffled, glaring through the tears welling up on her lower lash line. She could barely make out Sasuke’s blurry form.

With the force he used to yank on his hoodie sleeves he almost dragged Sakura towards him when he tied them around her waist. Sakura continued to sniffle as he made sure his sweater was secure and wouldn’t fall from around her slim hips.

Sakura was eleven and her menstrual cycle was unpredictable. Her mother had warned her about wearing white shorts but Ino had wanted to wear matching outfits for their field trip.

“I-I’m going to b-bleed on your hoodie,” her words came out a blubbering mess. She wiped at her eyes with the heels of her palms.

“It’s just clothes.” Sasuke took hold of her wrist and tugged her forward, away from her hiding spot in the dark corner of the planetarium. “Let’s go find Yamanaka. She should have found you a pad by now.”

Ignoring the wolf whistles of a few of their classmates and their jeering, he held onto her wrist in a gentle but firm hold. He guided her through the museum until he heard Ino’s shouting and calls for Sakura.

He walked with them to the restroom, never letting go until Ino took her inside. . .

Sakura closed the bathroom door behind her and peered into Sasuke’s room. He had handed her a change of clothes and directed her to the restroom where she could have some privacy as he cleared up space on his bed.

His half of his room was neat and in order and overall plain, completely different from the cluttered knick knacks she used to decorate the dorm room she shared with Ino. But then again Sasuke had taken over the communal area of his apartment style dorm.

“Fixing computers and laptops again?”

Sasuke was sitting on the edge of the couch, a laptop with it’s system board exposed on the coffee table. He was surrounded by different computer parts and a couple of laptops and system units with sticky notes on them.

“People are constantly breaking them and it costs a shit ton to get them fixed. For a small fee I can take a look and see what needs fixing and take care of it. I need the cash and they don’t need to waste their time getting ripped off.”

“These things make me feel like an idiot.” Sakura took a seat next to him and lifted up a circular disk. “What does this do?”

“It’s a cooling fan. It was working harder than it needed to.” Sasuke took the fan from her and clicked it into place. “The heatsink needed cleaning. If they took it into a repair shop they would have made them pay to replace the whole thing instead of just cleaning it out.”

“Heatsink?”

“Yeah. People don’t realize you gotta clean that out and then their laptop will overheat and shut down on them.”

Sakura watched as he screwed the cooling fan back in place and covered the motherboard up and screw everything shut.

“You’re supposed to be sleeping.”

Aren’t you supposed to be sleeping with me?

Sakura stood up abruptly, face burning from the embarrassment. Her brain really needed to stop producing all of those inappropriate thoughts.

“Um, but where are you going to sleep?”

“I won’t be. I have work to get done. And if I get tired I can always use my roommates bed. Not like he uses it.”

“Oh. Well, then. Good night!” Sakura awkwardly shuffled into his room and climbed onto his bed. She had a step stool to assist in climbing on her own bed but Sasuke was over half a foot taller than she was and had nothing like that.

She had to pull herself up and practically rolled the rest of the way on. Kicking the sheets around her she bundled herself up. It wasn’t until she pulled the blankets up to her chin that she noticed the crocheted throw Mikoto Uchiha had made for her son.

Warm…

Sakura buried her face into the sheets, the comforting smell of the familiar fabric softener the Uchiha family used relaxing her. It was the smell of Sasuke. The smell of home. . .

When Karin crawled into her bed she always dug her nose between Sakura’s shoulder blades. Sakura would whine when her bony knees pressed too hard against her legs but with some shuffling she could always adjust Karin’s hold on her.

That was usually the case except the arm around her waist was too muscular to be Karin’s thin arm and there was a pressure on top of her head instead of in between her shoulder blades.

Blinking open her eyes, Sakura was met with a blank wall instead of the blinds of her window.

This isn’t my bed!

Sakura squeezed her eyes shut tight and gathered her memories of the night before. She had been kicked out of her room by Ino and the guy from KICA. She went to the library where she ran into Sasuke. Where she ran into Sasuke!

Sakura exhaled a breath of relief as she recalled Sasuke dragging her back to his dorm so that she could finally get some sleep. She must have been more tired than she had thought if she hadn’t noticed Sasuke sneaking into his own bed.

Carefully, Sakura rolled onto her back and shifted so she could face him. There was a small grumble, a whine from the back of Sasuke’s throat but he didn’t open his eyes. He only relaxed his hold to give her more room to move.

Shit.

Sakura watched as Sasuke’s eyelashes fluttered delicately. The lashes on the lower line were slightly longer than the upper and they meshed together at the outer corners. Her eyes followed the path of his cheekbones to his well defined jaw. He really needed a shave.

Ew. Sakura wrinkled her nose and bit back a giggle. Morning breath.

A gurgle broke the even pattern of Sasuke’s breathing and his hand clutched the back of the shirt Sakura borrowed. Sakura let herself be pulled closer and Sasuke’s leg slid between her thighs. Sasuke settled his chin on top of her head again and his breathing returned to it’s normal steady pace, a content sigh falling from his lips.

Ah, crap.

Sakura sighed and pressed her face against Sasuke’s chest.

It was no use avoiding the reason why she couldn’t do what Karin had suggested to her and why Ino’s comments about denial bothered her so much.

But for now all she was going to do was sleep.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

Day’s Notes: and that’s all the chapters that were typed up already! I’ll be trying to update this fic on a weekly basis but please be patient. shit happens.

[itwasanangryinch]

3...2...1... Happy New Year!!

For the first (?) time, I’m actually going to make and complete a New Years meme, because fuck it, I had a good year. I’m also going to put much shorter answers for last year since I had wanted to do this then, but then... didn’t.

Favourite new (to me) band: Against Me!     5 favourite songs:

The Ocean

White Crosses

True Trans Soul Rebel

I Was a Teenage Anarchist

Norse Truth

I’ve known about Against Me! since lead singer Laura Jane Grace since she came out as trans in 2012 with her Rolling Stone profile, but I hadn’t heard any of their songs until a couple of years ago. This year was the first year I really got into her music (both here and with The Devouring Mothers) after reading her biography Tranny while on vacation in Melbourne.

Runner up: Miss Guy and the Toilet Boys, seen for the first time at Wigstock 2.Ho

2017′s answer: Ataru Nakamura, the very, very talented trans performer who played Yitzhak to JCM’s Hedwig in Japan (and because of the staging, also played Hedwig for the non-singing part of the script.)

Favourite new (to me) city: Melbourne, Australia.

If you had asked me last year, my answer would have been Tokyo, Japan and this year’s is my favourite for much the same reasons: Melbourne is very easy to get around, very fun to walk around, and I got to see the wonderful John Cameron Mitchell perform there.

Melbourne is absolutely beautiful with so many shops to explore and a free (within the few square blocks I mostly kept to) public transport system.

Runner up: Sydney, Australia. Very similar to Melbourne and might have been the favourite if I had been able to stay there longer, but.... schedules.

2017′s answer: Toyko, Japan. For the reasons listed above. I could actually see myself moving to Tokyo at some point. Not right now, but possibly eventually.

Favourite concert: John Cameron Mitchell: The Origin of Love, Brisbane

This year I have seen this concert seven times in addition to one very abridged show in Portland, Oregon to go along with a double header of Hedwig and How to Talk to Girls at Parties.

On this particular date, the band gelled really well; John was in a great mood, great energy; the crowd was incredible..... Everything just... Worked. (Even tho this was the concert I had the least amount of interaction with John afterwards, lol.)

Definitely looking forward to seeing where John takes the performances for his upcoming stateside tour and at a later, yet to be announced, time in Japan.

Runner ups: (aside from the rest of the OoL tour), Rocky Horror with Mason Alexander Park, Taboo 15 (with Mason), Alice Cooper, and Wigstock 2.Ho where I finally got to see NPH performing as Hedwig.

2017′s answer: Hedwig and the Angry Inch: October 14th, evening. Tokyo, Japan.

In my estimation, this was the best of all of the Hedwig concerts. By this point, everyone had performed this in front of an audience twice before and the show from beginning to end gelled really well. Again, there was an incredible energy between the band and the two lead performers and the audiences for all of the Japan shows were great. From beginning to end, this one was the best.

From about the Tommy monologue til the end, the final Tokyo show (Oct. 15th) was the best because there was this crackling, alive, angry energy that had an almost dangerous feeling to Exquisite Corpse and was the only show (surprisingly!!) where I cried at the delivery of my favourite line “Then love the front of me.” On that show, with the exception of Exquisite Corpse, I cried from that line til John started the encore song, ‘The End of Love’ and I had only stopped there because I had completely forgotten he was doing an encore song.

Favourite movie: Black Panther

I’ve been waiting literal years for this movie to be made and there was not one thing to be disappointed in in its final rendering in my opinion. I realize that unlike a large portion of the audience, this movie was very much not reflective of my experiences and at no point would I claim to be represented by it as anything other than a nerd and a comic book fan.

Being a fan of the Black Panther for years has meant having tone deaf comic lines, sidelined animated stories, and much less content, merch, and even cartoon adaptation than some of his paler counterparts. So to see a film that was technically and narratively perfect being rendered so beautifully and taking the box office for many, many weeks was a wonderful way to start this year.

Runners up: Deadpool 2, Bad Samaratian, and does How to Talk to Girls at Parties even count for this year if I saw it last year in Japan??

2017′s answer: a strong tie between Transpotting 2 and HtTtGaP. T2 because it was so much better than I could have ever hoped it to be. It married themes and footage from the first film perfectly to the characters’ lives 20 years on. It gave me hope for an eventual Hedwig sequel in terms of quality because based on interviews, they share a similar tone in terms of ageing characters. Plus Danny Boyle’s cinematography was truly beautiful with the use of shadows, call-backs, foreshadowing.... A true equal to the most iconic of Scottish films.

HtTtGaP because well.... John Cameron Mitchell’s direction mixed with an alien invasion set against punk rock and the Queen’s jubilee? How could I not love it? To me, it’s a strong second to Hedwig in terms of quality and netted my absolute favourite review via the BBC (‘This is one of the worst films ever made’, trust me Beeb reviewer, if that were true, cinema would be a far more enjoyable art form.)

Favourite vacation: Australia

Long story short: I met my favourite actor five times. It’s very rare in this life that you can actually tell an artist who influenced your life in a very meaningful way just how much their art and they as a person mean to you. This year, after seeing JCM perform live eight times and on video, no lie, thousands of times, I had the chance to actually do this. And unlike how I was worried about for the past three years, I wasn’t actually nervous to talk to him at all. Part of that is that he is a very easy person to feel at ease with, very comforting presence.... And part of it was that during the first Australian show I went to where I’m dressed as the very first Squeezebox Hedwig, John lay on top of me as part of the final number. How could I be scared to talk to him after that introduction??

Runners up: going to see Taboo 15 in New York with my best friend and touring the David Bowie Is exhibit at the Brooklyn Museum (March), going to see Wigstock with Risa. Technically, I ditched work to be able to go, but.... 10/10, I would do it again. I saw a lot of amazing performers for the first time, had a chance to chat with Mason again, and saw the tour de force that is Neil Patrick Harris as Hedwig and Lena Hall as Yitzhak.

Hopefully next year, the Hedwig section will be able to be longer. (Or maybe Yitz will perform by himself. Or multiple Hedwigs. Or just the entire Hedwig script delivered at the end of a seven hour drag festival pre-show.)

2017′s answer: Hedwig in Japan. Not only did I get to meet my friend @miyacantdecide for the first time in person, I was able to see the wonder that is JCM as Hedwig live. Even when he’s not delivering the script, his presence as Hedwig is truly something else. And having seen him perform as himself (but in a version of her makeup) this year, I can honestly say that She has a completely different stage presence to Him and how incredible of an actor to be able to deliver such radically different interpretations of the same material and songs??

Outside of Hedwig, I can honestly say that I came back from Japan a changed person. Better in so many ways than I was a year previous. Almost completely made whole again after past traumas (and completed a year later on a different trip.)

2017′s runner up: seeing RENT 20 live. I had a blast hanging out with my mother most of the days and the RENT 20 cast? Holy shit. What talents. Cried from ‘I’ll Cover You (Reprise)’ til the end of ‘Finale B’. Just goes to show: it doesn’t matter if the show’s set in December and it’s hot As Fuck outside if you have a talented cast bundled up in sweaters for 75% of the script.

Favourite album: Golden by Kylie

Not only does pop’s most talented princess talk about her recent breakup with Joshua Sause (sp?), there’s themes of her ageing as this year our princess turned 50. While I agree with reviewers that this isn’t her best musically or vocally, I find myself replaying this one over and over on my stereo and headphones more than almost any other album this year. Favourite song: a toss up between Shelby ‘68 and Low Blow.

2017′s answer: Pollinator by Blondie. It had been two years since the release of 2014′s Ghost of Download, but unlike Ghost’s offerings that went largely unnoticed by me at the time, every single from Pollinator got me more and more hyped not only because of the excellent music evident on songs such as Fun, Long Time, and Doom or Destiny, but collaborations with artists such as Raja (on the video for Fun) and Joan Jett (the aforementioned Doom or Destiny), the honey-thick entrancing song Fragments, and the wonderful Love Line.

This year has been weirder, queerer, and more wonderful than any year yet on record. I’ve been to a number of technically-but-not-really drag shows, revisited some of my favourite artists in concert, met two of my favourite Hedwigs, and saw four total Heds perform.... I’ve read and learned more about the queer experience that not only deepened my understanding of my larger community, but of my own experiences and how they fit within the community. I’ve become more confident being out to coworkers and customers at my job....

I had the pleasure of meeting two of my close friends @hedwig-in-a-jukebox and @fdelopera in person (with plans to meet up again early-2019) as well as making some new friends.

Here’s to an even better 2019! Onwards and upwards.

[embrassemoi]

Surrounded by the Moon and Stars ✷ 33

Pairings: Sirius B, F!Reader, Remus L   Warnings: Swearing, unhealthy defence mechanisms

【 Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Playlist 】

Chapter 33: Betray The Moon as Acolyte

━━━━━━━━━༻☽༺━━━━━━━━━

September 8th, 1976

Remus peered up to the night sky, resplendent with a coruscating kaleidoscope of stars and the full moon. He yawned, acutely aware of his bones shifting, aching and cracking. Resting on a small cot pressed against the wall in the corner of the shrieking shack, Remus felt his temperature rise and skin stretch too thinly across his body.

“I’ll be back once the sun rises, dearie,” Madam Pomfrey called out, the door millimetres from locking shut.

“Wait,” he said and Madam Pomfrey re-opened the door with a warm, motherly smile.

“Yes?”

“Thank you. For always helping, I know it can be… tiresome.”

How long has it been? That Pomfrey had been helping him out, every full moon — had known of his affliction and been there to assist? It was years now, countless hours of her time wasted on him.

Was he that much of a burden? The thought left a bitter taste in his mouth, that made his face pucker and heart lacerate itself in fresh wounds.

“Don’t concern yourself with me, honey.” Then the door clicked shut and he heard her utter a spell; to confine the beast within the four walls.

The tormenting plague increased every minute as the countdown to his transformation loomed. His heart thudded stridently and his breathing was ragged and strained. His teeth grinded against each other and his tongue swept across them, feeling them elongate and reshape in preparation.

Remus grabbed the hem of his jumper, exasperated by the overwhelming heat and because he didn’t want to shred it in the process. As he slipped out, feeling the adored red fabric, tattered with holes and frayed yarn in his hands, the door opened and he could already smell Peter and James. Subconsciously, he shielded his body from them, to avoid them from seeing all of his scars.

Remus became dizzy instantly. James wore a particularly strong perfume that day.

More than anything, over the pain and hint of repugnance, he was nervous. It would be the first full moon since… the prank that the Marauders would be together for his transformations. Or all the Marauders aside from one and nobody wanted to address it.

A sharp pain thundered through his skull and he knew time was slipping from him. Remus couldn’t recall the last time the moments before his transformation were that painful.

“You okay, Moons?” Wormtail asked, dropping down beside him. Prongs followed in suit, taking his sweater and folding it neatly.

“I’m fine — umph —”

“Shit! Prongs, get back and turn. Now!”

━━━━━━━━━༻☽༺━━━━━━━━━

After a week of lessons, there were considerable adjustments to the curriculum. Everyone noticed and it quickly dispersed a sombre milieu on all of Hogwarts.

Classes were smaller, many parents deciding to transfer their children to other magical schools around the world. Y/N even received a few worried letters from Matthew that there was an abundance of new British students attending Ilvermorny.

In his worried letters, Matthew informed her that the MACUSA and French Ministry of Magic had been stepping in, fighting forces against the wizarding war. It was all news to her. Ever since James’ parents cancelled their subscription to the Daily Prophet after their beliefs that they were biased, she hadn’t been able to catch up.

More defence and attack spells were taught and everyone became well aware of why someone of Professor Elway’s reputation and skill was there. The same went for the Duelling re-opening and even Flitwick initiated small tutorial sessions for students of all grades to teach them defensive spells.

Defence Against the Dark Arts became nothing more than a Muggle military camp. Elway drilled the students; attack and defence spell after the other, never stopping for a second. Transfigurations focused more on concealment and vanishing charm and every day McGonagall looked as if she aged a decade by the solemn, haunted look that nowadays was permanently carved into her.

Herbology went over a vast majority of life-saving plants, herbs and how to make their own medicine. And Potions heavily focused on identifying spiked potions with poisons and how to create reversal serums in case of emergencies.

The students of Hogwarts weren’t brainless. They knew they were training them for war.

She tried to ignore it, but if anything Y/N felt foolish. The magical world was meant to be an escape, not a guardhouse.

It didn’t help that the murders from the summer played heavily in her mind along with the rumours of Voldemort recruiting students from Hogwarts, prompting a spike of distrust to spread rampantly. It wasn’t time to fight or lose people but to keep those you trusted and loved close. So Lily keeping her distance had her worried.

Sorted into the same dorm as last year, she reckoned she would have some time with Lily but every day it seemed like she was busy with prefect duties, or had homework, or reading, or a new study group she needed to rush off to. She and Lily hadn’t resumed their usual nightly routines either, hadn’t sat with her in the Great Hall since the welcome back feast and hadn’t said more than a word to her.

It was evident that Lily was avoiding her and only her.

Maybe Y/N had gotten clingy, got too close too hastily because it felt too similar to how her mother treated her. It caused the imminent, spine-chilling feeling of wanting to push everyone away.

Extreme distress was starting to pile up.

Luckily, James stayed a constant consistency in her life and a lot of her pent-up fears dissipated by his presence. He never ignored her, if anything he went out of his way to be nearer. Even Peter and most notably, Remus, had become part of her daily life more than ever.

It was terrifying and everything told her to run. Don’t get too close, don’t get too comfortable. But it was hard not to.

That morning, James crept up to her dorm, knocking softly as she popped out, ready for the day. He looked exhausted; his eye bags were prominent, darkened and cradled in his arm, he held Remus’ rabbit.

“To keep him company,” James explained, yawning while escorting her down the staircase, passing the rabbit over. “It was a rough night.”

It would be the first time they would try to incorporate Y/N into replacing Black and balance out James’ other priorities with Remus’ moon cycles. And unable to reschedule Quidditch try-outs to another morning and James forced to leave prematurely, she would have to step in.

But her fears skyrocketed. Were they pushing it? She was only visiting him… It wasn’t out of pity and she genuinely wanted to be there to support Remus.

“What if he doesn’t want visitors?”

James rolled his eyes. “It will be fine. He’ll appreciate it more than he’ll let on.”

But then a faint floral and citrus smell flowed through the distilled air as she took a deep breath.

“James, you smell really good... Are you wearing perfume?”

His frown transformed into a prideful simper. “Bought the same perfume as my mum. Helps when I miss her.”

She gasped. “A mama’s boy!” And then pinched his cheek.

About to step out of the portrait, James must’ve accidentally activated a prank because the moment his hand brushed against the portrait, four Muggle stereos floated above his head, blasting break-up songs on the highest volume. It rattled the walls and made their ears bleed.

“Fucking hell!” James shouted, his wand swishing around to stop the music while Y/N stuffed Remus’ rabbit inside her bag and bewitched a silencing spell around it.

“Students are sleeping!” Lily shrieked, rushing down the stairs and charmed away the stereos.

“Oi! You think we don’t know?” James retorted, a hand clutching his ear. “Emmeline…”

“Emmeline?” Lily repeated, shaking her head. “May Merlin himself save the poor girl daft enough to end up with you.”

The only enlightened that took away from the war and recent murders was Emmeline and her friends pranking and wreaking havoc like the Marauders onto James as a punishment.

He deserved it and even James agreed.

“Where are you two headed?” Lily inquired and for the first time since the train ride, she addressed Y/N head-on.

A glimmer of hope.

“Aw, finally starting to care about me, Evans?” James joked although it’s laced with uncertainty.

Y/N cut off Lily before she had the chance to speak, eager to answer her question. “It’s Remus.”

Recognition filtered through her, gaze shooting up to the large grandfather clock beside the bookshelves. Lily’s head bobbed repeatedly, pressing her lips together sympathetically. She considered James for a moment.

“Will you be back in time for lessons?” Lily then whipped her hands around. “Y’know what, forget it. I’ll take notes for… both of you.”

Y/N felt James nudge her foot, simultaneously forcing out a cough. His hand went to scratch behind his neck. “R-right. Erm, I — we appreciate it, Evans, but ugh — we have a free period this morning.”

Lily’s jaw dropped. “Oh. Sorry.”

“NO!” James said a little too loud. “I mean, no. It’s fine. Thank you.”

Y/N pursed her lips, her neck bending as her shoulders tensed while watching their interaction play out. “Alrighty, we should go. Thank you, Petals.” She interjected. Her hands spun James around as they walked out of the common room and to the hospital wing.

Both students groaned out loudly. Black was there, sitting on the ground and back pressed against the wall to the wing.

“He doesn’t want to see you,” James challenged. His feet pivoted to Black, before her hands pressed against his chest, preventing him from touching Black and starting yet another fight. “Leave it.”

His eyes flickered from her to Black. Sighing, he made a slight rearward movement and removed his glasses to rub his eyes.

“Just don’t follow us.”

They walked inside without sparing him another glance.

“Here comes the fucking sun, Moons!” James chirped, his mood altering drastically. But she staggered behind a beat.

Remus was already awake, quietly chatting to Peter. His bed curtains were half drawn and she took his rabbit from her bag, pulling it close to her chest.

His head snapped in their direction, but instead of his eyes landing on James, it went squarely to her. She smiled, eyes analyzing every ripple of expression. He didn’t seem angry. No, not at all, but stunned.

Once James realized she wasn’t by his side anymore, he turned and looped an arm over her shoulder. He whispered, “Moony won’t bite. It’s okay.”

“I wasn’t expecting you.” Remus finally said, smiling.

“Of course I’d come.” Confidence now circulated her body as she approached him, handing over his rabbit. James was delighted at his response while the rabbit nuzzled its way into the crook of Remus’ neck, tickling him. She murmured into his ear, not wanting to peer pressure him by others' wants, “You don’t mind me being here, do you? I’ll leave, no hurt feelings.”

Remus shook his head, petting his rabbit. “No, please stay.” He croaked, voice deep and tired.

“Oi!” James said, albeit quietly.

“Flirt somewhere else,” Peter added with false annoyance.

James nodded. “So, little Moony —”

“Little Moony?” Remus groaned. “What?”

“Aw,” she teased, “Is moody Moony making an appearance?”

“Did you come just to make fun of me?”

But then Peter grinned cheekily, moving to softly slap his hand down on his thigh in the same tempo as Here Comes the Sun. Y/N and James immediately caught on, ready to chagrin while Remus shook his hands in front of his face to get them to stop.

“Don’t you —“

“Here comes the sun, moody Moony —“ “Crikey.”

“Here comes the sun, and we say it’s alright!” They sang, keeping their voices to a minimum to not worsen his potential headache. They had to hold back their laughter as Peter began to replicate the horrible instrumental with his voice. James sang the loudest. “Little Moony, it’s been a long cold moon cycle.”

Madam Pomfrey poked her head from her office, ready to tell the visitors to be quieter than a mouse — or kick them out in favour of Remus’ rest but she froze. Remus was poorly attempting to cover his smile, his cheeks burning a bright red and she hadn’t seen him that happy after full moons. And after what happened last year, his happiness was all she wanted. So she sat back down, smiling to herself at the horrid sing.

“Little Moony, the smiles returning to the faces —”

“Guys!”

“Little Moony, it feels like years since it’s been here.”

━━━━━━━━━༻☽༺━━━━━━━━━

James eventually left, rushing to tryouts with Marlene with a great deal of apprehension. When the bell rang, students rushing down for breakfast, both Y/N and Peter departed momentarily to the Great Hall, grabbing a few snacks and tea Remus requested.

But the moment Peter stepped foot outside the hospital wing, it was as if any sort of energy left his body. He became sluggish, moving slowly and yawned multiple times.

“Pete, go back to him, I’ll get everything,” she implored. “Or get some rest. I can’t imagine staying up all night can be good.”

“It’s —” A yawn. “— Sorry. I’ll be fine.”

She didn’t push. They made their way around fast and exited quickly before a group of seventh and sixth years swarmed Peter. A few even greeted her, attempting to strike a conversation.

Peter sent her a dejected look, passing her the rest of the snacks and teacup.

“I’ll meet you there.”

She rushed back in record time. Black was still sitting outside the wing and she could faintly hear him muttering her name but she disregarded him wholly.

But the sight inside the hospital made her heart shatter.

Remus was haggard, dishevelled and face screwed together in pain. He tried to push himself up multiple times to reach behind his head, to his pillow. But it was futile.

The crinkling of the wrapper in her hand made her wince; it became the loudest object in the world at that moment. It forewarned Remus and she gently padded over. She sat down gently on the edge of his bed, setting down everything on the metal tray.

“Don’t push yourself — here, let me.” Remus visibly reclined into himself, covering his scarred arms with the blanket coiled by his side. But he listened without complaints as she reached behind his head, fluffing his pillow and helped him lay back down gently. “Not feeling too good?”

“Like shit.”

It became awkward fast.

“Um… Peter’s coming. Was held up with a couple of seventh years.” “You can leave if you don’t want to be here,” Remus blurted out, “I won't force you —”

“Woah there!” She felt as if she was slapped by him. The sudden change had her wheeling. “Who said you’re forcing me? You’re my Moony, no?”

He breathed out a chuckle and shifted towards her. She glanced at the tray with a few potions. What he said stuck to her.

“Do you mind if you can pour those into my tea? Thanks.” Remus croaked.

She nodded, unscrewed the cork to the vials and mixed it into the drink. The clinking sound of the spoon tapping against the porcelain cup.

“What is this?”

“Um… a mixture of powder silver and Nightshade,” grumbled Remus, trying to push himself up as she handed him the cup. “Helps with the pain and fogginess.”

Her mind was restless. “Can I ask some questions?”

His eyebrows knitted together. “Questions?”

“Y’know, about being a werewolf.”

He took a giant gulp. “Did you just skip all the Werewolf questions on the OWLs?” Remus laughed.

“I bet half of it’s false.” She admitted truthfully. “Besides, how am I supposed to help next time if I don’t know?”

Remus stayed quiet for a long time after she said that and she wondered if she pushed a boundary. But then he nodded, urging her to continue.

“Okay… so silver doesn’t hurt you, right?” She watched as Remus sip his tea before having to put it down to laugh.

“Myth.”

“So all the silver bullet stuff..?”

He gave a full-body laugh. “Myth. Sorry, not what you were expecting?”

“No,” she admitted after a bit, embarrassed. All those children's stories were false…

“Silver can’t hurt me, I don’t grow hair rapidly. I like eating rare meat; I have trouble sleeping, I don’t have curved fingernails or low-set ears. I can’t run super fast but I can see better in the dark, can hear, smell and am stronger than the average Muggle or Wizard.”

“Can you always smell or hear better? Or does it increase near the full moon?”

“It becomes stronger near the full moon and after for a while.”

“Wait… Does that mean you can smell people. Like me?!” She was appalled and crossed her arms over herself as if the action would suddenly cover any scent.

Remus barked out laughing before wincing as a dull pain shocked through his system. “You smell fine. Don’t worry.”

Her hands found their way to cover her mouth. She was mortified. “You have a way with words, Lupin.”

Remus was on the verge of tears, nearly choking on himself to prevent laughing. He endured the deep bruise on the side of his ribs digging into him but he couldn’t stop.

She slapped his arm playfully and took the now empty teacup from his hand, setting it down on the metal tray and ushered him to slide over in his bed. He doesn’t hesitate.

Y/N slid beside him, and she could feel the fluctuating rise and fall of Remus’ chest as his chuckles came to a slow halt. She took the rabbit from his lap, holding it in her arms carefully.

“Does she have a name?” She questioned, scratching behind its floppy ears. Remus chose the least threatening rabbit.

“No.”

“We should think of one then.”

Remus watched her, listening to the words pouring out. But then he cringed inwardly, reminded of his cruelty to her a couple of months ago. He wasn’t expecting her to visit and it came as a pleasant surprise. It made his heart flutter. She wasn’t scared. She hadn’t been lying that night. He was accepted.

He tuned in to her heartbeat: steady and calm. Slow.

Her words echoed in his head. I feel safe with you.

Safe.

Remus felt a whisper of a smile worm it's way onto him. As soon the realization came, the dull ache in his body subdued, the burning in his throat faded and the hollow ache in his heart filled with a golden glow. Just a bit.

━━━━━━━━━༻☽༺━━━━━━━━━

September 10th, 1976

“I’m sorry,” Black said, his eyes wide and pleading as he sat beside her in the Great Hall. She ignored him.

“I need to explain, please,” Black begged in a hushed voice while she searched the library’s premises for Regulus. She ignored him yet again.

“Tesoro mio,” Black flirted, both sitting in the common room as she added notes in the werewolf section in her textbook. His new tactic caught her off guard but she prevailed, getting up and leaving.

“Talk to me,” Black whined. “Please.” She ignored him, continuing to walk to class calmly and held her head high. She just left the hospital wing and Black was trailing her.

But he grabbed her wrist and pulled her into a nearby broom closet and closed the door.

“Get off of me!” She nearly screamed. Thankfully, he was smart enough to keep a healthy distance away. She kept her hands balled into a fist, preventing herself from taking one of the dust brooms and smashing it on his head.

“Sorry! But you won’t talk to me any other way!”

Darkness enclosed them, only the light seeping through the cracks of the old wooden door illuminated Black as every ounce of restrengthen was pushed to the edge.

A flurry of apologies fell from his lips but she wouldn’t have it. Simply looking bored at her nails and tapping her foot against the ground.

“I know you’re mad — you have every right to be! I get that, I understand.”

“Then leave me alone?” She jeered sarcastically, handing grazing the doorknob.

“Wait! Please, just hear me out — let me explain —”

“Explain what?” She lashed out through gritted teeth. “You should count your stars that you don’t have an attempted murder charge.”

Her heart thumped rather fast and would have been distressing had she not been controlled by anger. Everything was overshadowed by a grim penumbra sweeping over them, closing in on her and Black and it wasn’t because of the lack of light in the dingy closet.

She was revolted by him. Sick of seeing his sad face, moping around the hospital wing or looking at her or the other Marauders in yearning.

“Do you think I’ll care about what you want to say?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Apology not accepted, dipshit.”

His head bowed. “I deserved that.” “You think?”

“It’s just that —”

Her temper spiked to the highest level and her hand drifted to her back pocket and grazed the tip of her wand.

“I —”

Something in her snap. “Shut up. Shut up! Stop trying to defend yourself! Stop it! I don’t want to hear it!”

Black was visibly shutting down. “Please, just calm down…”

And then everything poured out.

“Calm down? Calm down?! I gave — I put my trust in you and you immediately ran with it, breaking it twice and then broke everyone else’s! How am I supposed to talk to you like everything’s okay? I get that you don’t like me, that you don’t like Snape, but really? What do you not understand?!”

He was nodding his head, taking it, never once trying to defend himself. His head hung similar to a child being scolded, hands curled around himself.

“You must have never cared for them.”

Black went oddly still. “That's a bold lie and you know that.”

“Do I?” She ridiculed. “Do you want to know the funny part? I was starting to care for you. Apparently, you never did.”

“That’s not true.”

There, a flicker of rage. Finally a reaction other than pathetic regret and guilt. Something cold crept into his eyes, hardening and entirely stormy and silver, reminding her of last year where they constantly fought. But then, it was washed away with a blink.

“I was nothing but a toy to you!”

“Y/N...”

“You. Never. Cared. About —”

“Stop it! Of course I —”

“— Me. Or. The. Other —”

“— fucking cared —”

“— Marauders —” “ — about you!”

Her eyes stung with bitter unshed, frustrated tears and her throat burned, constricting together. Emotions she hadn’t taken a moment to consider hit her within seconds and everything was too overwhelming.

The material of her shirt suddenly turned itchy. Her skin was too tight and she felt herself rock back and forth in a way to calm down.

For a moment, she thought he wouldn’t answer as it fell silent but she struck a nerve.

“Stop saying that!” He shouted. Now not breaking her stare and took a step forward.

“You’re fucking selfish. You betrayed them.” A step forward.

“You only cared about yourself.” Black shook his head. Another step forward.

“If you ever cared about me — about anyone else you’ve hurt — you wouldn’t have done… that.” A step forward.

They were the closest they had been in months. Their breaths were laboured and ragged. Being that close to him raised all the hairs on her neck in a way she used to love but now hated herself for.

The very notion made her nauseous. Disgusted.

She missed him. Truly. It was such a profound hurt and longing that ran deeper than wanting a quick snog or shag. But that was her problem that she was going to have to hide, bury in an air-sealed chest and throw away.

He opened his mouth and he leant forward inappreciably. But whatever words he was about to spew, he stopped himself. She could feel his breath fan her face, both of their chest raised and fell rapidly.

They stayed like that for a while and she held back from crying, feeling her heart pound in her chest.

“Is there anything else you want to say?” He asked dejectedly.

Why did you have to be so stupid? We could’ve… you could’ve had everything.

Do you miss me?

Did you ever care, even a little?

“This time,” her voice was no louder than a rustle, “I mean it. I hate you. Truly.”

Lie.

Black gave her one last glance through heavy, desolate, half-lidded eyes, closing them shut. “Ti voglio bene.”

Her frown doubled, wondering if he mocked her. Why did he always do that?

“At least you’re consistent in one thing.”

She slipped out, her hand on the door and cracked it open, leaving him there.

“Being a fucking liar.”

She slammed the door shut with so much violence that it made a couple of bystanders passing by yelp and stare. The shattering of glass from within the closet echoed and it made her breathless.

She had to lean against the stone wall, her body buzzing and numb from the adrenaline.

Sometimes everything in her life seemed so… random. What if everything could have been avoided? One simple word, maybe if she said something different, or did something different, would the outcome have been better? Or worse?

What if she had two parents? What if she had been raised by a loving mother? Would she have been that hurt by his actions if opening up was less… impossible?

What ifs…

She stumbled her way to class mindlessly, horribly late. The floorboards creaked, cutting Slughorn off while she lurked in the doorway. The teacher’s head, along with everyone else in the room, snapped up.

Lily looked at her worriedly and concern was written in every inch of her face. James had a double-take and became alarmed while Marlene on the other side of the class looked around nervously.

“Sorry I’m late.”

“No worries, m’girl!” Slughorn smiled. “Please, take the seat next to… Severus! Now, I was saying, I have a small tradition I’d like to do every year with my students.”

Y/N didn’t even interject; too drained after what happened and sat by Snape.

“Can anyone tell me what this is?” The professor held up a tiny bottle. “Or can anyone tell me what Felix Felicis is?”

Lily raised her hand, casting a concerned gaze to her before answering. From the corner of her eye, she could see Barty and Avery, along with a few other students whispering to each other as Lily spoke; all of them forcing down a smile. Y/N vaguely sensed herself prickle.

“It’s known as Liquid Luck. As the name suggests, it makes the drinker lucky.”

“Beautiful answer! Quite right! Ten points for Gryffindor! Now, whoever brews the Draught of Living Death the closest will win this prize at the end of this lesson. Off you go!”

The class was scurrying off quickly while she made her way around leisurely. Snape’s sopophorous bean had been hitting her multiple times.

“Would you fucking —” she grabbed the bean with her hands and threw it at Snape and he hissed at. “Just take your knife blade and squeeze it down on the side with your dagger.”

Snape scoffed. “That’s not going to work you d —”

Snape shut up immediately as she crushed the bean with a sharp knife and flicked the juice into the cauldron.

“Now stop hitting me or I’ll pour your potion on the ground.”

Snape’s attention wasn’t on her, instead of trying to decipher her scribbles before taking her book away from his eyesight. She hit him with her book.

She completed the rest of the potion with ease. Snape was nearly done with his potion, she could tell he was on the right path before Slughorn sauntered around the classroom to observe the students. At James’ cauldron, he made no comment but instead helped stir his potion. Lily was given an approving nod, announcing to the class that she earned Gryffindor a few house points until making his way over to their table, peering into the cauldrons. At Snape’s concoction, he gave a bright smile and opened his mouth until he saw hers and a look of pure delight spread over him, his hands clapping together.

“Oho! Excellent! Miss L/N has done it! We have our winner!”

A small round of claps went around meanwhile James and Marlene cheered loudly, effectively embarrassing her.

“Show off,” Snape sneered. She ignored him.

Once the bell rang, Slughorn called her over to collect her vial of Liquid Luck. She slipped the bottle into her pocket for safekeeping.

But before she left, she stopped and spun around. “Professor Slughorn?”

“Yes?”

“I read in my Advanced Potions and Defence Against the Dark Arts textbook, but I found that there’s no Potion to help Werewolves. I was wondering if that’s still true? I know books can be outdated.”

Slughorn gave her a pensive look. “I think that’s a matter for Madam Pomfrey. Is there a reason why?”

“It’s just —” She made up a lie quickly. “I’m nervous about NEWTs and how I’ll do in my studies and it’s merely an interest.”

“Oh, my girl! You are excellent. By far one of the best students I’ve ever had. You don’t need to worry!” Slughorn cheered. Slughorn seemed genuine and she smiled at the praise. “And for your question, no. Sadly there isn’t.”

“At all?”

Slughorn thought for a while. “If I recall, there have been recent developments with stewed Mandrakes. It’s rumoured to help lycanthrope individuals ease their way back into the original human state.”

Y/N stored the newfound information in her head. She thanked him, turning to leave until calling out again. Slughorn twirled his head.

“I was wondering if I could practice more — like I said, I‘m nervous about my NEWTs.”

There wasn’t even a delay and Slughorn beamed. “Of course! As long as you clean up after yourself, you may come and go as you please. I’ll make sure to leave the doors open until curfew.

“Oh! I’m planning to host another Slugclub dinner soon, I expect you to be there?”

“... Of course, sir.”

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【 Next Chapter 】

Translations:

Tesoro mio = My treasure or 'honey'

Ti voglio bene = 'I love you' but its not like what you think. It's more of an unconditional and selfless love that means 'I want you to be well.' It places an emphasis on the tender and affectionate feelings you have for the other person. It's the safer option to say to your significant other if it's a very new relationship.

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© gotkindabored 2021. Do not repost or modify

[papermoonloveslucy]

TOAST OF THE TOWN aka THE ED SULLIVAN SHOW

“A Tribute to Lucy and Desi” (S3;E8) ~ October 3, 1954 

Directed & Choreographed by John Wray  

Ed Sullivan (Himself / Host) was a preeminent television variety show host who is best remembered for hosting his own show, at first titled “Toast of the Town” but later simply known as “The Ed Sullivan Show,” which became a staple of Sunday night viewing for millions of Americans from 1948 to 1971.  As such, his name was often mentioned on “I Love Lucy” and Lucille Ball's subsequent sitcoms. He introduced America to such entertainers as Elvis Presley, The Beatles, and The Supremes. Sullivan entered icon status when he and his television show were worked into the plot of the Broadway musical Bye Bye Birdie in 1960. The musical includes the song "Hymn for a Sunday Evening" which has a chorus that repeats Sullivan's name in a choir-like harmony. Hope made an appearance in the 1964 film version. The theatre on Broadway in New York City where Sullivan did his weekly show was named after him in 1967. He died in 1974.

Lucille Ball (Herself / Lucy Ricardo) was born on August 6, 1911 in Jamestown, New York. She began her screen career in 1933 and was known in Hollywood as ‘Queen of the B’s’ due to her many appearances in ‘B’ movies. With Richard Denning, she starred in a radio program titled “My Favorite Husband” which eventually led to the creation of “I Love Lucy,” a television situation comedy in which she co-starred with her real-life husband, Latin bandleader Desi Arnaz. The program was phenomenally successful, allowing the couple to purchase what was once RKO Studios, re-naming it Desilu. When the show ended in 1960 (in an hour-long format known as “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour”) so did Lucy and Desi’s marriage. In 1962, hoping to keep Desilu financially solvent, Lucy returned to the sitcom format with “The Lucy Show,” which lasted six seasons. She followed that with a similar sitcom “Here’s Lucy” co-starring with her real-life children, Lucie and Desi Jr., as well as Gale Gordon, who had joined the cast of “The Lucy Show” during season two. Before her death in 1989, Lucy made one more attempt at a sitcom with “Life With Lucy,” also with Gordon, which was not a success and was canceled after just 13 episodes. 

Desi Arnaz (Himself / Ricky Ricardo) was born in Cuba in 1917 and immigrated to America as a youngster.  He was a musician who married Lucille Ball in 1940 after meeting her on the set of 1939’s Too Many Girls, which he had done on stage in New York.  In order to keep him ‘off the road’ Ball convinced producers to cast him as her husband in a new television project based on her radio show “My Favorite Husband.” The network was convinced. In 1951, Arnaz and Ball began playing Lucy and Ricky Ricardo, roles they would be identified with for the rest of their lives. The couple had two children together, Lucie and Desi Jr.  In 1960, Ball and Arnaz divorced. Desi became a producer, responsible for such hits as “The Mothers-in-Law” (1967-69). He re-married in 1963. Desi Aranz died in 1986, just a few years before Ball.  

William Frawley (Himself / Fred Mertz) was already a Hollywood veteran when he was hired by Desi Arnaz to play Fred Mertz on “I Love Lucy.” After the series concluded he joined the cast of “My Three Sons” playing Bub Casey. He did an episode of “The Lucy Show” in October 1965 which was his final TV appearance before his death in March 1966.

Vivian Vance (Herself / Ethel Mertz) was born Vivian Roberta Jones in Cherryvale, Kansas in 1909, although her family quickly moved to Albuquerque, New Mexico where she was raised. She had extensive theatre experience, co-starring on Broadway with Ethel Merman in “Anything Goes.” She was acting in a play in Southern California when she was spotted by Desi Arnaz and hired to play Ethel Mertz, Lucy Ricardo’s neighbor and best friend. The pairing is credited with much of the success of “I Love Lucy.”  Vance was convinced to join the cast of “The Lucy Show” in 1962, but stayed with the series only through season three, making occasional guest appearances afterwards. She made a total of six appearance on “Here’s Lucy.” She also joined Lucy for a TV special “Lucy Calls the President” in 1977. Vance died two years later. 

Harry Chesney (Himself) was the vice-president of Philip Morris, the tobacco company that first sponsored “I Love Lucy” in 1951.

Howard Dietz (Himself) was a lyricist who wrote over 500 songs in his lifetime. In 1954 he was a vice-president at MGM where he is credited with developing the Leo the lion logo as well as their slogan “Ars Gratia Artis” (art for art's sake). The Long, Long Trailer was an MGM picture.

Don Dixon (Himself) was a correspondent for INS, the International News Service. He was held captive in Communist China for 18 months.

John Hodiak (Himself) was a busy actor at MGM who had co-starred with Lucille Ball in their 1946 film Two Smart People. He was also seen in the 1944 film Lifeboat with Tallulah Bankhead.

Tex O'Rourke (Himself) was a toastmaster famous for moderating his “Circus Saints and Sinners” tributes. 

Dusty Rhodes (Himself) was a member of 1954 World Series Champion team the New York Giants. He would return to “The Ed Sullivan Show” in April 1955.

Robert Taylor (Archival Footage from Bataan) acted alongside Desi Arnaz in the 1943 film Bataan. He never appeared on “I Love Lucy,” but during the Ricardo's stay in Hollywood, Lucy Ricardo mentioned meeting him at a farmers market and getting his autograph on an orange.

Keenan Wynn (Archival Footage from The Long, Long Trailer)

Marjorie Main (Archival Footage from The Long, Long Trailer)

Johnny Roventini (Philip Morris Bellhop, uncredited)

Julia Meade (Voice of Mercury Commercial)

This show was aired on CBS on October 3, 1954. Sunday nights were known as “Ed Sullivan Show” nights in the same way that Lucy and Desi “owned” Monday nights throughout the 1950s. This show was done live in front of a studio audience at (what is now known as) the Ed Sullivan Theatre in New York City. 

The next day “I Love Lucy” began its fourth season on the air with “The Business Manager” (ILL S4;E1) co-starring Charles Lane (above) as Mr. Hickox. Two weeks later the series celebrated its 100th show.

The same night this show aired, “Father Knows Best” made its TV debut on CBS at 10pm. Prior to that the series had been aired on radio since 1949. On TV, it ran for one season and was canceled. The series was picked up by NBC, where it remained for three seasons. After a second cancellation in 1958, the series was picked up yet again, by CBS, where it aired until May 1960.   

This was the second of Lucille Ball's dozen appearances on “The Ed Sullivan Show.” Ball and Arnaz had been on earlier in the year, after Ed Sullivan presented “I Love Lucy” with an Emmy Award in April 1954. Desi made eight appearances, the last being in 1960. This is the only time the full hour of Sullivan's show is devoted solely to Lucy and Desi.

“Toast of the Town” was not filmed in Hollywood, like “I Love Lucy.” It was broadcast live from New York and then kinescoped to the West Coast. Consequently, prints of this show are generally of poor quality.  

During the run of “I Love Lucy,” Ed Sullivan and his show were mentioned several times:

Lucy: (about Fred the dog) “He learned obedience, but he’s not ready for ‘The Ed Sullivan Show’.” 

~ “The Ricardos Dedicate a Statue” (ILL S6;E27) 

Johnny Clark: (to Ricky) “I think I've got you planted on ‘The Ed Sullivan Show’ for next month.” 

[Celebrities would often be asked to stand-up and wave if they were spotted on “The Ed Sullivan Show.”] ~ “Face to Face” aka “The Ricardos Are Interviewed” (ILL S5;E7)

Lucy: (to a stoic Buckingham Palace Guard) “Wow, you make Ed Sullivan look like laughing boy.” 

[Sullivan was known not to smile or laugh, something Lucy chides him for in the tribute.] ~ “Lucy Meets the Queen” (ILL S5;E15)

To kick off the hour, Lucy and Desi perform a sketch about their meeting with Ed Sullivan. Although the sketch feels like an episode of “I Love Lucy,” Lucy and Desi use their own names. It opens with Lucy knitting and Desi at home (in Beverly Hills), relaxing and reading the Sunday papers, which are spread out all over the room. Desi is looking for the “spor' session” [“sports section”]. 

The newspaper Desi holds is the Sunday, October 3, 1954, edition of the New York Daily news, with the back page headline “GIANTS CHAMPS”! The previous day, the New York Giants triumphed over the Cleveland Indians in the 1954 World Series. Interestingly, this was not good news to Lucy's good friend Bob Hope, who was part-owner of the Indians. 

Two years later, October 8, 1956, Lucy and Desi guest-starred on “The Bob Hope Chevy Show” which for the evening was broadcast in Ed Sullivan's time slot, a fact Hope acknowledged in his monologue. Like this Ed Sullivan show, it was the day after a world series victory and the MVP was invited to appear on the show. For this “Toast of the Town” that player was Dusty Rhodes of the New York Giants. In 1956 it would be Don Larsen of the New York Yankees.  

When Lucy shows off what she's been knitting, Desi immediately jumps to conclusions: “Lucy! Again?  We've already done that bit!” Desi is referring to Lucy Ricardo having a baby on “I Love Lucy.” Prior to that, in 1951's “Drafted” (ILL S1;E11, above), Ricky and Fred mistake the girls knitting them sweaters for a clue that they are expecting.

Lucy tells him to relax, that she's knitting it for Eve Arden's new baby. Arden, a friend of Ball's from her B-movie days, was currently starring in TV's “Our Miss Brooks” filmed at Desilu. On September 17, 1954, she gave birth to what would be her only biological child, Douglas Brooks West.  

After arguing who should answer the telephone, Desi answers it, but can't quite figure out who it is on the other end.

Desi (to Lucy, covering the phone receiver): “I think it's somebody from a bakery.  A guy called Solomon.  Ed Solomon. He says he's selling toast in this part of the town.”

Lucy grabs the phone and  it turns out to be Ed Sullivan who is coming right over, despite the fact that their house is a mess and they aren't properly dressed. Desi says they should let Ed see them as they really are, with no pretense.

Lucy: “The show is called 'Toast of the Town', not 'Crumbs of the Town'.”

She then implores Desi to put on his shoes, to which he replies, “What for? He knows I got feet.”  

This is very similar to an exchange in “Men Are Messy” (ILL S1;E8) from 1951.  

Lucy Ricardo: “Put your shoes on and pick up those papers. Company is coming.” Ricky Ricardo: “It isn't company, it's Fred and Ethel.” Lucy Ricardo: “Well, put your shoes on.” Ricky Ricardo: “They know I have feet.”

In the next scene, they are dressed to the nines, and Lucille makes her entrance to the strains of “A Pretty Girl Is Like A Melody” by Irving Berlin. In 1955's , “Lucy Gets Into Pictures” (ILL S4;E18) Lucy Ricardo gets a role as a showgirl, strutting down a staircase wearing a giant head-dress, while this song is playing.

Before Sullivan arrives, Lucy and Desi silently practice being acknowledged from the audience, just in case that is what Sullivan has in mind. This is visually similar to when Lucy and Ricky rehearse being surprised with a “Housewarming” (ILL S6;E23) party when they first move to Connecticut in 1957.  

The phone rings again and Lucy talks to their agent Don Sharpe about the purpose of Sullivan's visit, while Desi hovers anxiously behind her: 

Lucille (into the phone): “He is!  He isn't?  He isn't?  He is!  He isn't!” (she hangs up) Desi: “Well, is he or isn't he?”

This is another gag taken directly from “I Love Lucy.” It is possible that the “I Love Lucy” writers participated in the scripting of this sketch.

When Sullivan finally arrives at the Arnaz home, they rush him off his feet and pretend not to have already heard the news. Sullivan finally spills the beans.  

Lucy: “'Toast of the Town' and the whole slice about us!”

When Sullivan asks Lucille for a cigarette, the Philip Morris bellhop Johnny Roventini literally pops out of the coffee table and gives him one!  Although Philip Morris was not a sponsor of “Toast of the Town,” the gag acknowledges the company's initial support of “I Love Lucy.”

Vivian Vance just happens to drop by – and then almost immediately Bill Frawley. The just happen to be ready to regale Sullivan with a song, “Hullaballoo,” which Frawley says is an old vaudeville tune from 1913. He also claims that they previously performed it “on one of the old Lucy shows” but no such song was ever sung by Fred and Ethel on “I Love Lucy.”  

A curtain then closes for their bows. Sullivan reminds Vivian that they last met when he presented the Emmy Award to “I Love Lucy” in Hollywood. He recalls first meeting Frawley in Leone's Restaurant. Jimmy Walker introduced him to Sullivan. Walker was mayor of New York City from 1926 to 1932, when Sullivan was a news correspondent.

Sullivan discusses the film Bataan featuring Desi Arnaz and Robert Taylor.  Baatan (1943) was an MGM film about the World War II Battle of Bataan, a region of the Philippines.

After a Mercury commercial narrated by Julia Meade, Ed Sullivan introduces the trailer from The Long, Long Trailer, a 1954 color film based on a novel of the same name by Clinton Twiss. It is about a couple who buy a new trailer home and spend a year traveling across the United States.The film stars Lucille Ball as Tacy Collini and Desi Arnaz as Nicky Collini. The characters' names were changed from the book to sound more like ‘Lucy and Ricky’ (Tacy and Nicky, say it fast).  

Desi Arnaz performs his signature song “Babalu.” He performed the song on “I Love Lucy” in "The Audition" (ILL S1;E6) and in "The Ricardos Visit Cuba" (ILL S6;E9), where Desi was joined by Richard Keith (Little Ricky). Other times it was partially heard or sung for comedic purposes, such as in "Lucy Hires an English Tutor" (ILL S2;E13), “Ricky's Life Story" (ILL S3;E1), "The Publicity Agent" (ILL S1;E31) and “The Young Fans" (ILL S1;E20). Desi Arnaz first recorded the song in 1947, although he had performed it as part of his nightclub act prior to that.

After Desi finishes singing, Sullivan tells his audience that Desi has had a fever of 101 all day, but insisted on singing “Babalu” anyway.

Finally, the "Circus Saints and Sinners Luncheon" begins, a formal tribute (the actual “Toast” of the town) with speeches from and about the Arnazes.  

A clip from “Lucy Goes to the Hospital” (ILL S2;E16), which first aired on January 19, 1953. This was Desi Arnaz’s favorite episode.This is the episode that made “I Love Lucy” a national phenomenon. It is estimated that 72% of the American public who owned a television tuned in to see the birth of Little Ricky. His birth was timed to coincide with Desi Jr.'s birth, that same day. This episode aired the day before the inauguration of President Eisenhower and five months before the coronation of Queen Elizabeth II. More people watched this “I Love Lucy” episode than either one of those televised historic events. 

To kick things off, Ed Sullivan reads a letter from Bernard Baruch (1870-1965). Baruch was a financier and powerful political consultant who had served with Sullivan on a Government-appointed Entertainment Committee to bolster post-war morale in America.  

Toastmaster Tex O’Rourke discusses Ball and Arnaz’s childhoods and their early work in show-business.

Baseball player Dusty Rhodes some brief comments of his own.

Lucille Ball is first to make her remarks, thanking the networks and production staff of “I Love Lucy,” and ultimately Desi:

Lucy: “This guy, who seems to be in all places at once, making like an actor, a banker, a politician – in short, a producer – gets my vote as the greatest producer of all time. And I have two little Arnazes at home to prove it.”

Desi Arnaz expresses his appreciation to Lucy and the United States of America for giving him the opportunities he has enjoyed.

Desi: “We came to this country and we didn't have a cent in our pockets.  From cleaning canary cages to this night in New York is a long ways. And I don’t think there’s any other country in the world that could give you that opportunity.” 

Both Lucy and Desi become visibly emotional while making their speeches. "Desi was very sincere about that," said Madelyn Davis, who along with her partner, Bob Carroll Jr., wrote every episode of the first four seasons of “I Love Lucy” with Jess Oppenheimer. "Lucy got teary and even Ed Sullivan. Desi wasn't kidding. They had nothing."

The show includes Lincoln Mercury commercials starring Ed Sullivan. Lucy and Desi had participated in such commercials in their first appearance on “Toast of the Town” in April 1954. During the sketch that starts the show, Lucy says the words “High dramatic” and Ed reminds her that on his show, it is “Merc-O-Matic,” which was Lincoln Mercury's own automatic transmission, introduced in 1951.

This Date in Lucy History – October 3rd

"Lucy Visits Grauman's" (ILL S5;E1) – October 3, 1955

"Lucy and Paul Winchell" (TLS S5;E4) – October 3, 1966

[advocatewrites-blog]

Into the Unknown Part 1 Chapter 3

Into the Unknown

Fandom: Undertale, Coraline (book), Over the Garden Wall, Paranorman, Gravity Falls (season 2)

Characters: Frisk, Norman B., Dipper P., Mabel P., Coraline J., Wirt, Greg, the Cat, the Frog; Sans, Toriel, Papyrus, Undyne, Alphys, Asgore,; the Other Mother, the Beast, Agatha P., Bill Cipher, Asriel D., Chara D.,

Pairings: Not the focus. Alphys/Undyne, with mentions of Papyrus/Mettaton, sans/Toriel/Asgore, and Wirt/Sara. Due to the nature of Undertale and the dating segments, there is also interpretable Papyrus/Wirt, Undyne/Mabel, Alphys/Dipper, Napstablook/Norman, Mettaton/Norman, Mettaton/Mabel, Sans/Dipper, Sans/Norman, and Sans/Greg.

Rated a high +K for violence, mild language, horrific elements that may be disturbing to younger readers,  mentions of child abuse and bullying, character death that is sometimes permanent, and mentions of suicide that may be triggering. These elements remain relatively unchanged from their source material, which most all are for children, but discretion is advised nonetheless.

Disclaimer: Undertale was created and owned by Toby Fox. Coraline was created by Neil Gaiman and owned by Bloomsbury and Laika. Over the Garden Wall was created by Patrick McHale and owned by Cartoon Network. Paranorman was created by Sam Fell and Chris Butler and owned by Laika. Gravity Falls was created by Alex Hirsch and owned by Disney. Any other work mentioned or homage are property of their respective owners. This is a fan-made, nonprofit work that only seeks to entertain. Please support the original franchises.  

Start from beginning / Previous chapter / Next chapter

Chapter 3

“NYOO HOO HOO…” Papyrus cried. “I CAN’T EVEN STOP SOMEONE AS WEAK AS YOU…UNDYNE’S GOING TO BE DISAPPOINTED IN ME. I’LL NEVER JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD…AND…MY FRIEND QUANTITY WILL REMAIN STAGNANT!”

Coraline watched the skeleton, unsure of what to do. Papyurs had been a much harder fight than she had anticipated, even with sans’ warning. If she lost, she may have never been able to see home again. Yet she couldn’t help but feel a stir of pity for Papyrus. It was the same kind of pity that stirred in her soul when she thought of Toriel. Toriel deserved a second chance. Maybe Papyrus did too.

“You know,” Coraline said. “When I get back to the Surface, I won’t be going back home.”

Papyrus stopped crying long enough to listen.

“I haven’t been to my real home in a long time,” said Coraline. “My family and I moved to a new home, the Pink Palace.”

“IS THAT NEAR THE KING’S HOUSE?” Papyrus asked.

“No. It’s like a set of houses,” said Coraline. “My family isn’t the only ones who live there. There’s Miss Forcible and Miss Spink, and Mr. Bobinski and the mice he’s training to sing.”

“ARE THEY ANY GOOD?”

“I’ve never heard them. But so far, they’re the only ones who’ve gotten my name right.” Coraline said. “I haven’t been able to make a single friend since I moved to the Pink Palace. Maybe…you would like to be my first?”

Papyrus turned back to her.

“REALLY!? YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE FRIENDS WITH ME???” He asked. “WELL…I GUESS I CAN MAKE AN ALLOWANCE JUST FOR YOU! WOWIE! WHO KNEW THAT ALL I NEEDED TO MAKE PALS…WAS TO GIVE PEOPLE AWFUL PUZZLES AND THEN FIGHT THEM??”

Something cold moved against Frisk’s cheeks, as gentle as moth’s wings. A voice, barely a whisper, spoke.

“Art thou—art thou alive?”

Frisk nodded.

“You poor child,” said another voice.

Frisk tilted their head in confusion.

“She left us here,” said yet another voice. “She stole our hearts and stole our souls. But she forgot about us in the dark. She has worked so hard to find a place to keep you that she has forgotten a place to keep us.”

“I walked through the scullery door,” said the first voice. “And I found myself in the parlor. But she was waiting for me. She called herself my other mamma, but I never saw my real mamma again.”

Frisk took a shaky breath as they realized what they were saying.

“It is the eyes that go first,” said the third voice. “She will steal your soul and she will take your life and all you cares’t for, and leave you in the mist and fog.”

“Flee!” said the second voice. “Flee, while there’s still air in your lungs and blood in your veins and warmth in your heart!”

The nothingness stopped. Hard stone began to form under Frisk’s feet, and Echo Flowers sprouted in the cracks. Lights, not quite stars, formed in the ceiling. A wooden bench formed in front of them. It almost looked like a room in Waterfall. Frisk wondered if it was supposed to be a room out of Waterfall that they never found.

“We must stay in the darkness,” said the first voice, their voice growing fainter than ever. “Flee while you can, but peradventure, you can find our souls…”

Frisk was alone again. They took a seat on the park bench that had formed, ignoring the rush of memories that came with it.

The Other Toriel was going to hurt them. There was no reason to doubt it.

So why did Frisk feel like the real monster?

Their foot collided with something. Frisk was shaken out of their reverie long enough to investigate. It was some kind of food, something like a quiche, somewhat burned and wrapped in foil.

“I just couldn’t handle the responsibility,” said the Echo Flower.

Frisk understood.

The shift from Snowdin Town to the Waterfall was abrupt. It was almost like Coraline had stepped into a different room. The snow quickly melted off and faded into cold earth beneath them. The cold air grew damp, and for the first time Coraline really felt like they were in the underground.

There was one thing familiar about the Waterfall, however. There was a wooden sentry station, the same kind sans had manned. It even smelled like sans’, Coraline realized, ketchup and grills.

Her stomach rumbled, and she realized the last thing she had to eat was some of Papyrus’ spaghetti. Maybe sans’ food was halfway edible.

She moved into the sentry station. True to her suspicious, it was filled with bottles of ketchup and boxes of buns. The hot dog itself, however, was…water sausage? Not something edible, at least.

The only other thing inside was a small journal, worn with use. Coraline flipped through it absently. The pages were filled, either in a language she couldn’t read or with formulas that made her head spin. She settled on one page. A drawing of a human child, detailed rather well for someone as lazy as sans. Underneath was scrawled don’t trust them, the don’t cross out heavily and the trust them underlined several times.

“heya kid.”

Coraline nearly jumped at sans’ voice. She hadn’t heard him approach again.

“though you might like your raincoat back. you won’t have much use for that sweater through waterfall.”

Coraline had nearly forgotten about the sweater. “Thanks for letting me use it. I think one of Papyrus’ attacks may have cut it a bit.”

“oh? you fought my bro?”

There was a tenseness in his voice, Coraline noticed. The kind that sounded like he didn’t know what to think.  She looked up at him, and noticed his smile stretch ever so slightly.

“He challenged me so he could capture me,” Coraline said. “I convinced him that we could be friends.”

“ah,” sans said. “yeah. my bro’s pretty cool like that. hope he didn’t give you a bad time.”

Coraline grew silent for a minute as she watched sans. He un-tensed, but only slightly. His eyesockets were still firmly focused on Coraline, in a way that she could not read. She felt her sins crawling on her back.

“Say, sans, am I the first human in the Underground?” Coraline asked.

The lights in sans’ eyes flickered for only a moment.

“nah. not that many that i’ve heard of, though,” said sans. “not sure what happened to the others.”

“Did your brother capture them?” Coraline asked.

“no. paps was a baby bones the last time a human came through here,” said sans. “hey, humans get hungry, right? care to pry me from my work and go to Grillby’s with me?

“I think I ought to get going,” said Coraline.

“alright. just let me know if you change your mind,” said sans. “i’ll be slaving away here at my checkpoint.”

“I thought your checkpoint was in front of the Ruins?” Coraline asked.

“what? you’ve never seen a guy with two jobs before?” sans asked.

Coraline waited until he had sat down at his checkpoint before waving to him and leaving. She did not feel the eye sockets leave her until she was far away.

If sans had never seen another human before, then who had he drawn in the journal? Did Papyrus not being old enough to capture a human make him not old enough to capture a human? Had the other human been captured, and if so, what became of them?

Coraline was so lost in her thoughts that she hardly noticed herself wander into the thick grass until it encompassed her vision. Every blade was at least as tall as she was, and it was impossible to see around it. She took another step forward.

“HELLO UNDYNE. I’M HERE WITH MY DAILY REPORT,” said Papyrus.

Coraline froze. She could not hear who he was talking to, but it was impossible to mistake his voice.

“UHHH…REGARDING THAT HUMAN I INFORMED YOU ABOUT EARLIER…HUH? DID I FIGHT THEM? Y-YES! OF COURSE I DID! I FOUGHT THEM VERY VALIANTLY! …WHAT? DID I CAPTURE THEM…W-WELL, NO…I TRIED VERY HARD, UNDYNE, BUT IN THE END…I FAILED. W-WHAT? YOU’RE GOING TO FIND THEM? BUT UNDYNE! YOU DON’T HAVE TO DESTRYO THEM! YOU SEE…I SEE. I WILL HELP YOU OUT IN ANY WAY I CAN.”

Papyrus hadn’t helped her at all. She was still going to be captured. That is, unless she did something about it first.

Coraline dared not to move until she heard a set of footsteps fade off into the distance. Then she ran, as fast as she could. She did not slow down even as she heard a set of footsteps behind her.

“o�H<_�2�?"

Frisk jumped. ‘Voice’ was not quite the right word for it. It was a set of sounds, vaguely in a patter that sounded like human speech.

All of a sudden, Frisk was not alone. The new person towered over them, even taller than Toriel was. Its body was covered in a heavy black cloak, the inside in a constant state of motion that made Frisk’s head spin. His face looked more like a worn mask, with two holes pouring into an eye and mouth.

Somehow, the figure managed to convey an expression of mild embarrassment. It raised its hands, nothing but bone and with two holes coming out of its palms.

It moved its hands closer, and Frisk flinched away from it. It took them a minute to realize how the hands moved.

Child? It signed. Are you all right?

Frisk didn’t know what to say. They raised their hands to sign. To wipe away the tears that were threatening to burst from their eyes. To do anything.

How did you come about here, child? The monster asked.

Frisk didn’t know what to say. They settled for making a gesture that looked as if they dropped something.

Lost? The monster asked. How did you end up lost in this world?

Lost me, Frisk said.

The monster looked like they didn’t know what to say to that. Their hands trembled slightly as they signed again.

I am here for much the same reasons, they said.

Their face did not show expression, but somehow Frisk could tell they were stepping in sensitive territory. They decided to change the subject.

What’s your name? Frisk asked.

It has been a long time since I have needed a name. The monster answered.

Everyone needs a name, even if you have to make one up yourself, said Frisk. My name’s F-R-I-S-K, but I haven’t been using that one for very long.

The monster let out a set of noises that almost, almost, sounded like a chuckle.

In life, I was known as W-D G-A-S-T-E-R. You may call me that, if you wish, They signed.

Are you a skeleton monster, WD? They asked.

Gaster nodded.

I’ve met a few skeleton monsters. P-A-P-Y-R-U-S and S-A-N-S, Frisk said. You remind me a lot of S-A-N-S.

Gaster stopped his walking. He signed something, so quick and with so many unfamiliar signs that Frisk couldn’t catch it. He caught on to their confusion, and asked again.

You have met S-A-N-S? He asked, his movements slow and fluid.

Frisk’s hands were shaking too much to sign back, so they nodded.

He is well?

kids like you…should be burning in hell.

I think I hurt him, Frisk said, once they managed to get their hands to stop shaking.

I believe I have too, Gaster let out a noise like a sigh.

Coraline ran through the Waterfall. She ran past the waterfall carrying rocks she had to dodge, ran through the puzzles that were supposed to be solved with bridge flowers, and ran over the boarded piers that connected areas of Waterfall to others. She only stopped running when she caught a ferry ride on a monster’s face. She got three gold in return.

Undyne continued to chase her.

Waterfall grew dark, but Coraline continued to run. More piers awaited her in complex patterns, making makeshift walkways for the citizens of Waterfall to get from house to house. Spears shot from the ground under her.

Undyne was getting closer.

Coraline dodged the spears that blocked her path. She ran until she could not run anymore.

Undyne was right behind her.

Coraline hardly noticed the bridge stop until it broke, already far worn from the effect of dozens of spears. Then she fell.

I understand you are hurt, said Gaster, but this place is not safe. There are many things here that will not hesitate to hurt you.

I know, Frisk admitted. But I don’t know what else I can do anymore.

Gaster did not say anything after that.

WD? What do you do when you hurt someone, but want to fix it? Frisk asked.

Gaster thought for a long time.

You do everything you can to prove you are better than that, I suppose, said Gaster.

Coraline woke up to the sounds of the phone Toriel gave her. She answered, not thinking about who would be trying to contact.

“HELLO!!! THIS IS PAPYRUS!!!”

Coraline remembered what happened the last time she saw Papyrus. “How did you get this number?”

“WELL, I DIALED EVERY NUMBER SEQUENTIALLY UNTIL I GOT YOURS!!! BUT THAT IS NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW!  I HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION!”

“Does it have anything to do with Undyne?” Coraline asked.

“YES!!!” Papyrus said. “YOU ARE QUITE ASTUTE FOR A HUMAN!!! HAVE YOU MET YET!?”

“No. But I did hear you talking to her about me,” said Coraline. “I thought you didn’t want to capture me anymore!”

“I DON’T! BUT YOU SEE…” said Papyrus. “UNDYNE’S OPINION OF YOU IS QUITE…MURDERY.  I THOUGHT I MIGHT BE ABLE TO LEAD UNDYNE OFF YOUR TRAIL BY WORKING AGAINST HER!!!  THAT WAY, YOU CAN STILL MAKE IT TO THE BARRIER WITHOUT DYING AND I WILL STILL HAVE MY FRIENDS!”

The anger in Coraline’s soul faded away. She couldn’t be mad at someone who was genuinely trying their best.

“It’s a little late for that,” said Coraline. “Undyne’s already spotted me.”

“DRAT. BEING FRIENDS WITH EVERYONE IS HARD!” Papyrus said. “BUT DO NOT WORRY, HUMAN! THE GREAT PAPYRUS SHALL ENDEAVOR TO COOK UP A PLAN TO GET YOU TWO ON BETTER TERMS! THAT WAY, MY FRIEND QUANTITY WILL CONTINUE TO FLOURISH!!! NYEH HEH HEH!!!”

He hung up before Coraline could answer back.

They found themself back in the Judgement Hall. A figure lay before them. The bells chimed.

So you finally made it.

If we were really friends, you wouldn’t come back.

Frisk shook away the bad feelings. They weren’t going to be judged. They were going to make everything better.

“heya kid. wow, you got tossed pretty far, didn’t ya?” the other sans asked. “you won’t tell your mother about this, would ya?”

Frisk shook their head and joined the other sans.

“yeah. let’s get home kiddo,” said the other sans. “say, let ya wear my jacket back for 5 gold.”

Frisk decided to decline. They didn’t say anything until they were firmly out of the New Home area of the Other World.

s-a-n-s, what do you think of other T-o-r-i-a-l? They asked.

The other sans slowed down. Sweat began to form on his skull.

“well, she’s great, y’know?” said the other sans. “she made all  of this, just for you, after all.”

I think I need to go back to the Underground for a bit, and I want to know how to ask her, Frisk said.

“oh, is that all?” said the other sans. He didn’t sound relieved. “well, the best way to get her to do anything is to challenge her to a game. she won’t turn ya down.”

What kind of game? Frisk asked.

“well, you could always have a finding game,” said the other sans. “there are a lot of things here she kept hidden. just make sure you know what to look for. if you ever need a hint, i’ll be willing to give you some advice, on the house. think there are a few other monsters that’ll be willing to give you a hand if you can find them. say…past the Judgement Hall?”

Isn’t that cheating? Frisk asked.

“she ain’t above it,” said the other sans. Phalanges tapped on femur nervously. More sweat dripped from the top of his skull.

He was nervous, Frisk realized.

Thank you sans, they signed.

“no problem kiddo,” the other sans said. “i’m rooting for ya.”

They reached the home. The other sans kept his distance as Frisk entered the house, and didn’t turn to leave until they appeared in the window to sign thank you to him again.

Now came the hard part.

They found the Other Toriel in the kitchen again.

“Hello, my child. You were out for longer than I had anticipated,” said the Beldam. “Would you like to talk about it?”

How do I exit the Ruins?

[fox-household]

Act 4: Education and Moral Standards, Chapter 4

Alright this took like over a month, but here we are finally. Hope this is all good, school year has started again which means I might be more active with chapters. Sounds crazy I know but I find it much harder to be productive during holidays. Anyway hope the drama in this helps you if you’re bored from normal daily life stuff. This one gets a little painful. Anyway the next chapter will be the end of the act which will be good to get over with. Then we’ll move on to a mini-act, a little fun one. Anyway hope you’re all having a time. Stay safe out there.

FIRST, PREVIOUS, NEXT, INFO 

SCI As it kept becoming apparent to Sci, traversing a school without much direction wasn’t quite as easy as he’d first hoped. At first, he’d returned to outside the room where they met Mr Breve, but as expected, the other two were not there. Going over the list in his head of rooms that Asgore’s teachers resided in, he wandered the different halls and levels, following labels on doors to see if he could possibly be going in the right direction and while they didn’t help much, using the vague list in his head and his watch, he could only try and predict where to go. ‘’Alright well, if Art is done and they haven’t been to Home Eco yet… perhaps it’s… Science? But where’s the Science Wing? I really wish there was a damn map around here’’. As he spoke to himself, he kept on walking, starting to be carried away by his train of thought, the tracks leading him to different ways he could get out of his predicament. Unfortunately for him his thoughts started to cloud his awareness and it wasn’t long before he felt a small force impact the front of him. Looking down the skeleton found that a small, light haired human girl in a sweater had just ran into him, the impact causing her to fall over backwards. Listening to her groans of pain for long enough, he offered her his hand, ‘’Hey kid, sorry about that, didn’t see you there. You alright?’’ The girl looked up at him with small smile as she took his hand, her voice soft and quiet, ‘’N-no that’s fine, my bad. Thanks, sorry for bothering you sir’’. ‘’Don’t sweat it, also please don’t call me sir, you’re making me sound old.’’ ‘’Sorry mister, won’t do it again… I think I n-need to get going now, sorry again.’’ Sci sighed at her change of title not finding it that much better, but he decided to live with it. For a moment he was content with just that, giving her a wave and a ‘’So long’’, before a realisation came to him. ‘’Wait! Can I ask you a quick question? Where’s the Science Wing?’’ Already having skipped half way down the hall, it gave her a small surprise to have to turn around to the monster, ‘’Oh lost? Sorry I should’ve asked being interviews and all’’, she gave a small apologetic bow that the skeleton just could not understand, she didn’t do anything wrong. ‘’The Science Wing is the first stairs behind you, go down and then to your right, then find the second left down the hall, that should take you to what you’re looking for.’’ Sci went over those direction multiple times in his head in quick succession to make sure with complete certainty he wouldn’t forget. Just as he was about to say goodbye to the girl, allowing her to go on her way, another small human came from behind him and shoved him to the side to run past him, the first thing he couldn’t help noting was the cowboy-like garments on the female human. ‘’Come on Hope, we ain’t got time, she’s coming this way at this moment.’’, the cowgirl said with a hurried tone, grabbing the first human’s hand while simultaneously pulling her along. Without needing any confirmation, Hope nodded and started running along with her friend, quickly looking back at Sci, ‘’See you later Mr Skeleton, nice m-meeting you’’. He watched helplessly as they ran around a corner at the end of the hall, his face just filled with confusion at the events that had transpired in front of him. Just when he thought that all of that was the last of what he had seen, loud footsteps that sounded like heeled shoes came from behind him, turning around to see a tired, furious looking old woman, angrily striding over towards him. ‘’Excuse me, have a seen a girl wearing a green sweater or another absolute rat of a child wearing a cowboy costume?!’’, her voice was stern, and she went straight to the point, impatiently waiting for the monster to answer. ‘’Oh uh yeah, they went somewhere past me? Are you alright chasing after them, should I be worried?’’, he figured the truth was the best answer as he gave his classic smile and shrug, hoping that would be enough to get him out of whatever mess he could potentially be caught up in. ‘’Just that first child is under my care, the foolish girl seems be caught up with that other one, disobeying me because of a bad influence, on today of all days. But don’t worry, when I catch up to either of them, there will be hell to pay!’’. With those last words, without any sort of farewell, she stormed off down the hall in the direction Sci pointed, leaving him finally in peace, wondering what on earth he had just dodged him. It took a little bit until he finally found Alphys sitting outside one of the classrooms that he saw on the map, alone she sat on a wooden chair staring at her hands, he couldn’t help but feel he was about to interrupt her deep thoughts. Sci moved over and sat down quietly next to her on a similar empty chair. For a whole minute he just watched her toil over something in her head, even muttering a few words under her breath that he couldn’t pick up, concern starting to grow that maybe she wasn’t doing so good. Then Alphys’ gaze came across the skeleton and with a sudden look of shock, she stopped what she was doing and just stared at him wide eyed, ‘’Sci, s-sorry I umm… g-glad you’re back, h-how are y-you now? Feeling better?’’ ‘’Oh you know me Al, can’t keep me down for long, I’m real good,’’ he gave her a wink and an enthusiastic thumbs up, ‘’Butt what about you? You seem quite nervous’’. The lizard monster winced, ‘’Oh j-just these interviews… the t-teachers here a-are crazy, the art t-teacher spent a m-mere two m-minutes showing m-me Asgore’s stuff b-before sh-showing me all h-her ‘top student’ p-pieces.’’ His shrug was almost a little dismissive, ‘’Is that really so bad? I mean they would’ve been good pieces, right? I feel like it could’ve been worse.’’ ‘’N-no, i-it’s not the quality, b-but the quantity, t-the amount of time…’’ ‘’Oh dear.’’ ‘’N-not only her c-current top students, th-there was work f-from f-former students, art from l-like ten y-years ago, back i-in her o-original universe… and w-worst of all, when i-it was all o-over it was twenty l-later than the scheduled time I w-was meant t-to be done… I g-got so many scary l-looks from th-the other p-parents as I l-left the room.’’ The skeleton snickered and covered his mouth, ‘’Well Al, I’m at least certain that they’ll end up finding the same painful experience as you. To focused with their own strife to worry about you. Was that all it was?’’ Alphys gave another slightly pained expression, ‘’S-she was the w-worst, b-but there was also a c-couple of the o-other teachers, the history one w-was painfully s-slow, he w-went into d-detail on everything th-they had been l-learning. The gym t-teacher was full on, s-scary, aggressive and j-just mean, he k-kept on critiquing me o-on posture and… my uh… physical mass.’’ Those last two words having an annoyed and hurt edge to them. ‘’A-at l-least the maths t-teacher was relatively normal, c-could get on w-with her well’’. He nodded at her, feeling some minor relief he wasn’t there but at the same time he felt bad she had to deal with all alone, he decided to focus on what the actual goal was. ‘’So what about Asgore’s scores or whatever…. What do the teachers think of him?’’ ‘’Oh w-well he d-does really w-well in History and Ph-physical education, art h-he d-does fine, b-but maths i-is a little bit of a struggle f-for him.’’ ‘’Do we need to do anything with this information? Like I guess help him with maths?’’ She shrugged, ‘’I-I don’t know, I-I think I’ll r-report to Gaster first and s-see what he h-has to s-say, but m-maybe? I don’t know Sci i-it sounds s-scary, I m-mean we know th-the maths, just t-teaching? I c-can’t do th-that, I d-doubt there’s a s-single universe out th-there where I’m a t-teacher.’’ Sci tried to give a reassuring smile, ‘’You wouldn’t be that bad surely, besides it's not like you would have to properly teach him, just push him in the right direction, give him a little support, he shouldn’t need to be taught the entire subject or anything.’’ The skeleton gave her a wink, ‘’Trust me, I know, I had to do this with Paps when he was a teenager, especially with sciences and maths, could become difficult between work and him, but it can be managed.’’ He didn’t expect to see his friend give him a confused look, nor her response, ‘’Oh, so y-you were an a-adult when he was in school, I-I d-didn’t think you w-were that much older th-than him.’’ ‘’I mean, we were in school together for while, just later on as the older brother I did have to outgrow school and move on, get a degree and such. Though I did help him during school as well.’’ Alphys seemed hesitant for a moment as she looked to the side, before glancing back Sci’s way, ‘’Wh-what was school l-like for you? I d-don’t think I’ve ever heard anything about y-you from your universe’’. He stopped and looked up at the roof, going through his memories, ‘’Oh well that’s an interesting question. I didn’t go to school at the start, I wasn’t a very healthy child at all…’’, he could already sense the next worried question coming from the other monster so he quickly looked at her, giving a smile, ‘’…no need to worry, I’m ok now, that can be a story for another time. Anyway, I was home schooled by my mother for quite a while and even without that I was always reading books and learning.’’ He stopped for a moment and Alphys could just pick out a blissful grin on his face, a legitimate one. ‘’I think I can attribute my love for science from that. When you almost never get to leave the house and get stuck in bed almost all day, every day, even non-fiction books can be as exciting as fiction. All those science texts that spoke of the world around us, how everything worked, lots of things that I had never even heard of, it felt like the very world outside my front door could be an amazing place where so many things were possible. Not only that but when it comes to Astrology, when everything else is just amazing to a young boy, just imagine that in extension to the exterior world, there’s a whole universe out there, unexplored and full of infinite possibilities. That’s why I eventually became a scientist, because I wanted to see everything I read as a kid with my own eyes… otherwise afterwards, school was fine, had a few people to hang out with, was pretty chill throughout the years, never struggled or worried to much about anything except making sure my scores were high enough’’ He looked over at Alphys, letting her know she didn’t have to keep her silence, he always found her to be a good listener. ‘’W-wow…. Th-that’s r-really nice, wish I-I had s-such a good r-reason to g-go the w-way I d-did, for m-me science was…’’, she furrowed her brow as if she was struggling to remember something, trying break past a mental wall, but with an almost defeated look she sighed, ‘’… I’m n-not sure, guess I j-just found it m-my natural c-calling or something’’. ‘’Hey Al, there isn’t anything wrong with that, I think that’s a perfectly suitable reason, as long as you’re happy.’’ ‘’Y-yeah I g-guess… well I’m honoured t-to learn the o-origins of Dr Sci’’ His expression turned to one of amusement as he laughed, ‘’If only I had a dollar for every instance…’’ ‘’Wh-what do y-you mean?’’ ‘’Al, hate to break your grand image of me, but I’m not a Doctor, I don’t have the title or doctorate or anything.’’ ‘’What?! Really? Never?’’, surprise at this revelation caused her voice to get a bit higher. ‘’Hehehe nope, I’m just plain old Mr Sans’’ ‘’B-but why?’’ Sci shrugged, ‘’School never really agreed with me, eventually I dropped out of college and managed to weasel my way into a job with Gaster’’. The lizard monster nodded, ‘’O-ok, I s-see, that’s… awfully s-surprising to s-say the least, s-sorry for assuming,’’ He let out another chuckle, ‘’Don’t be, people do it all the time, it’s no biggy… now enough about me, what about you Al? What was school life like for you? I’m sensing you were real big on hanging out at the library. ‘’ Alphys’ face reddened a little bit at being called out like that, ‘’M-maybe y-you’re right… but school w-wasn’t very e-exciting for me. I-I didn’t r-really h-have many friends, was sort of a-alone most of th-the time, I w-was the one s-student everyone f-forget was in th-their class. Although my l-lack of presence made s-sure I was only m-made fun of like… e-every once and a wh-while I guess… heh.’’ He couldn’t help but grimace, ‘’That must’ve been rough, sorry to hear that.’’ ‘’O-oh don’t worry, I g-got th-through it eventually, Uni was a l-lot b-better though, i-it was much easier t-to find people w-with similar interests and s-stuff. Made a f-few friends and I e-even still t-talk to some of them online t-to this day… so y-yeah, th-things did look up in th-the end. Th-thanks for th-the concern though’’. His smile finally returned, deciding it was best to focus on the positive side of it all, ‘’Well I’m really glad to hear that at least, things did turn out well in the end. Got friends then and now you’ve got a lot more friends, right? Well you have one in me at least.’’ Alphys let a big smile come to her face, ‘’Thanks. I assure y-you, I am ex-extremely grateful f-for e-every single one of you for b-being in my life’’ ‘’Geez, calm down on the sentimentality, you’re going to make me blush’’, he nervously scratched back of his head, embarrassment being shown merely by his expression. ‘’S-sorry… I um-…’’ Soon two monster parents walked out of the classroom they were sitting outside, disappearing down the hall and leaving the classroom vacant for them. ‘’I g-guess we sh-should go i-inside?’’ ‘’Sounds like a plan, ladies first?’’ Alphys gave him a playful squint before leading them both into the classroom.

 ASGORE

 Asgore was starting to really wish he had paid more attention to the schedule and that he knew where to go to find the others. Left, right, left, left, he couldn’t find his destination anywhere. He had been walking for fifteen minutes, but yet the sound of a walking cane in front of him brought his exploration to a halt, seeing a figure ahead of his path. The tall skeleton monster also stopped at the sight of the goat monster, resting on his walking cane, taking him a few seconds to finding some semblance of a comfortable postion. Asgore could read his face, the mental preparation on his expression was obvious, his gaze also noted a glare from a smaller skeleton monster standing behind. Gaster and Sans kept their gazes on him, moments turned to multiple seconds before finally Gaster threw away the silence. ‘’Asgore, it’s pleasant to see you here, why aren’t you with Dr Alphys?’’, his tone was calm and cold, he didn’t expect less. ‘’Turns out you don’t actually have to be there, something I learnt no thanks to you’’, he crossed his arms as his expression turned to one of aggressive seriousness, a feeling of anger and even resentment was building up within him, his tone wasn’t any better. ‘’Well I’ve always believed that you all being present is for the best, I think that it allows a good, healthy conversation between student, teacher and parent’’ ‘’Well it isn’t like you have a good idea of what is and isn’t the best. I think I can attest to that’’. Gaster’s eyes narrowed, the goat knew he was getting to them, the effort to stay calm draining his energy. But despite that jab, he apparently decided it was best to ask a question. ‘’You know anything about what the teachers have said? Anything you would like to talk about?’’ ‘’Just talk to Al, she’s reporting everything to you right? Best we don’t talk, right?’’ His voice kept getting more pointed towards his guardian. Finally his calmness cracked, and his voice raised, his anger becoming more apparent, ‘’Do you really plan to keep being so difficult? Can’t you just bite back that attitude for one damn minute?’’ With this Asgore could feel some negative form of satisfaction at getting to him, almost a victory that didn’t come close to filling him with any happiness or closure, just fuelling the void that was his resent. ‘’You going to apologise, admit you were wrong, going to stop keeping all your stupid little secrets, stop being so controlling? Stop doing a terrible job at parenting.’’ Suddenly, Sans came to his father’s defence, breaking his silence with a real pissed off smile, ‘’You think you’re funny? Stop whining and just be grateful you’ve managed to get away with your disrespect as much as you have.’’ ‘’That’s enough Sans.’’ Those three words with a huge amount of force put behind them managed to shift his focus, ‘’You really going take all of this from him? Stop letting him talk to you like this.’’ ‘’Just… leave. Go find the others or something. This is between Asgore and myself, you need not get involved.’’ ‘’But-…’’ ‘’Now Sans! Do as I say. This isn’t the time.’’ The seriousness of his tone could not be more apparent and without another word, Sans went to leave, not before shooting the other kid a despising look. After a small amount of silence to confirm Sans was gone, Gaster spoke, regaining a fragment of his calmness, ‘’Asgore, you know I have very good reason for what I do, you just need to realise that’’. The prince let out a small huff of dismissal, ‘’Always making it sound like you can’t be wrong. Typical. But you think I should be ok with you lying to me? About something so important?’’ ‘’Yes, if it’s for you own safety, then yes.’’ ‘’Well you’re wrong, you should’ve told me as soon as you found out, you should’ve told me I was a danger to everyone around me, things could’ve gone wrong and I could’ve got people killed? Is that freaking ok?’’, he could his blood boiling at Gaster’s every word, his mind racing and filling with every negative thought under the sun. Gaster wasn’t much better, his voice also rising, ‘’With the mental state you were in at the time, I had to hide it from you, you were vulnerable and in pain after everything that you’d been through. I’m certain that if I told you the truth, you would’ve snapped, jumped off the deep end, I have no idea what you would’ve done but I refused to let that be a risk, I am trying to help you with everything I do’’. ‘’You had no right to keep such valuable information from me’’. ‘’As a parent I had Every. Single. Right! I know what’s best for you Asgore. You just can’t see it.’’ Finally Asgore just hit his limit, he needed to inflict pain right now, he wanted to hurt him and he needed to get his emotions off his chest. ‘’WELL I WISH I COULD REVOKE THAT TITLE FROM YOU!! YOU DON’T DESERVE IT, NOBODY DESERVES THE HELL THAT’S YOUR PARENTING’’. Gaster clenched his teeth as the hit from his words hit him in his core, pain was stricken on his face, ‘’ ✡︎□︎◆︎ ♓︎❍︎◻︎◆︎♎︎♏︎■︎⧫︎ ♍︎♒︎♓︎●︎♎︎’’ The skeleton watched the child have sudden regret filled face, yet his vision being clouded by red didn’t allow him to notice until afterwards, when it was to little and to late. ‘’Maybe for you… maybe it would’ve been better if we’d never-‘’, he suddenly returned to his senses to prevent himself from trying to return fire, but watching Asgore’s face turn from regret to shock and sadness made him realise that he didn’t prevent the damage. ‘’Y-you… we both know how that sentence was going to end don’t we?’’, his voice sounded like it was a struggle to get out through troubled breathing. ‘’Asgore, you know I didn’t mean that, I think we both g-‘’ ‘’I think I need to leave now.’’, with those simple words he turned around and started to walk away in a hurry. ‘’Wait stop, please don’t, we’ll deal with this like civilised people’’, Gaster desperately pleaded as he summoned a skeletal hand behind Asgore that grabbed his shoulder. On reaction he furiously grabbed the hand and chucked it at the ground, giving it a hard stomp, cracking it into the ground until it disappeared, the skeleton wincing at the action. ‘’DON’T TOUCH ME, just stop! If you want me gone so badly, then you never have to see to me, Ever Again!’’ He turned to face Gaster, it was evident that tears were starting to form in the child’s eyes, but before the adult could see them drop, Asgore turned back around and ran away, out of sight. Gaster held his head in a pained expression, feeling a headache coming on, though he turned when he heard the voice of a cat monster come from behind him. ‘’Ummm sir, you ok? Couldn’t help but hear the umm end of the commotion’’, he said with a cautious tone. The scientist groaned, wishing nobody had to hear such a thing, ‘’I’ll be fine, I just need to… get a better handle on… everything. Sorry you had to hear that’’. ‘’Hehehe no it’s ok, teenagers right? My daughter is going through a similar phase, all argumentative and stuff over the most trivial things. That the same thing going on here?’’ Gaster started to walk away before he started speaking, his tone returning to one of calculations and cold. ‘’Exactly. Trivial matters. Just focus on your own business, if you will’’.

[buffystylez-blog]

Angel

Written by: David Greenwalt

Directed by: Scott Brazil

Starring: Sarah Michelle Gellar, Alyson Hannigan, Nicholas Brendon, Anthony Head, David Boreanaz, Charisma Carpenter, Julie Benz, and Kristine Sutherland.

Slayerettes, welcome to just past the halfway point. Of season 1. And it is a doozy. There’s leather pants. And leather jackets. And other things. 

It’s a bit of a mixed bag if I’m honest, guys. The plot is A Story but the clothes are B Story.

The Master is back, but who really gives a shit? BECAUSE ANGEL.

Outfit 1

I do love a bit of black crochet. Puts me in mind of an adolescent Stevie Nicks. But with less top hats and more slut straps. But no cocaine, which I think is healthy.

The eyeliner is probably my favourite part of the ensemble now. Winged eyeliner is such a challenge for me. It’s like that guy in Bojack Horseman says, ‘it gets easier, but you gotta do it everyday. That’s the hard part.’ I get it now. I really get it.

Whoever said redheads can’t wear green can shut up now.

Whoever said Xander could leave the house looking good can shut up now.

But thank goodness after last week Xander has gone from attempted rape back to his regular shut-shaming Cordelia for this rather cute number.

Buffy sees Xander’s batshit sense of style and decides it’s time to call it a night.

There’s some unsettling parallels to Twilight, of which this is but one.

Buffy adds a jacket, but because it’s the 90s it’s a strange cut and length and fabric.

This jacket will come back in a future episode about nightmares coming true. That’s... significant.

Buffy lives most of the audience’s dream by inviting Angel in to her home.

This is definitely my favourite look from Angel so far.

The tattoo is... alright, I guess. I’m more critical now I’ve seen a couple of seasons of Inkmaster.

Joyce thinks this much older ‘tutor’ is sketchy AF. Rightly. 

I keep forgetting she’s wearing a halter neck under the crochet. And by forget I mean repress.

Outfit 2

For this unplanned innocent-ish sleepover Buffy’s gone with a cute singlet and I’m guessing shorts or whatever. And a bra.

Outfit 3

This jacket is off somehow. The motto of the late 90s.

Buffy is serving some spunky realness right now.

Willow is serving some adorable realness.

Xander is serving fries and burgers.

I always thought this shift was really cute. The pink ribbon headband is such a nice touch. Is the shift white or a really light blue? I like a pastel pink and blue combo. In my hair. Because that is what my hair currently looks like.

What I don’t like is the daisy trim under her boobs. And it makes me question the pink ribbon. And why he’s still in her bedroom. And why they aren’t making out right now.

KISSING. But also, does that plastic ring really work with this look?

Buffy discovers Angel is a vampire and it. Is. SHOCKING. Sort of. I remember TV Hits spoiling this before the show had even aired in Australia. Which I forgot watching this episode.

Outfit 4

A quick hashtag tbt to Buffy training at school with Giles before she learned Angel’s horrifying secret (that he inspired Stephenie Meyer).

I feel like the pants could be more practical. Also I watch this now wondering how I missed that the stunt double seems taller than Sarah Michelle Gellar.

I could never find these t-shirts in 1997. I can find it now, which is... fine. I guess.

Back to Buffy being fucked with by dudes.

Outfit 5

I thought this was the first time Buffy wore this jacket and it was a definite statement that she was getting rid of Angel. It’s... just because Angel’s bad doesn’t mean his jacket is. I’m pretty sure this is the same jacket she wore with the shift. Maybe Angel was hiding on top of his jacket and she couldn’t get to it.

Willow mixes patterns like nobody’s business. She seems as concerned as me by Buffy’s hair.

Buffy loves a white singlet with bows and a cute graphic. I don’t. But I sure did back then.

Both Willow and Buffy are as confused as I am by Xander’s refusal to dress nice.

Please teach Xander how to do a green patterned shirt  and not be a dickhead.

While the Scooby Gang try to ignore the fact Angel’s not that bad but also, like, a vampire or whatever, Darla is being consistent by wearing a school uniform all of the time. I’m scared to ask where she shops. I don’t think it’s Lowes.

You can’t really see it here but Joyce is textbook Art Gallery Manager right now.

Darla does a thing and it works and Buffy’s mad as hell at Angel. But at the hospital, something wonderful happens.

THIS PAISLEY REVELATION.

Outfit 6

Fuck this lighting, man.

Buffy’s dressed to kill. Gliterally. I’ve been binge-watching Ru Paul’s Drag Race.

I would've wanted this, looked for it, found it, and been too scared to wear it. I would definitely wear it now, but only if it were a sweater and not a button up.

She’s wearing leather pants and boots but I would not and will never wear leather pants. Too hard to get on and off. It’s bad enough trying to go to the bathroom after swimming in a one-piece. This is too big a challenge. I’m not Wonder Woman.

My criticism of Darla’s previous outfit was that the Peter Pan collar seemed too big. And that it makes her look insane.

Girl knows how to accessorise. I would’ve gone with a high pony. Maybe I just don't have the face for this kind of ‘tail. SMG definitely does.

Angel saves Buffy even though she could have just waited until Darla ran out of bullets and fucked her up, which I find a little annoying. But at the same time I also think it’s a sure sign to Buffy that Angel is ‘not like other vampires.’ 

The Master tells the Annoying One that it’s a big deal for a vampire to kill another vampire. Angel killing Darla, who is his sire or whatever, is his way of saying he’s on Buffy’s side. And also conveniently gets rid of his crazy ex-girlfriend.

Anyway Angel’s a vampire but he’s good, so yay! Sort of. Man, those Gypsies are brutal.

Outfit 7

Seriously, fuck this lighting.

This angle conceals the dumb clips she’s wearing, which is great. It was a dumb clip heavy episode for Buffy.

Angel is so handsome and broody but also creepy but also really hot. But I bet he doesn’t have a paisley scarf.

As a teenage girl I found this episode so romantic and sexy and heartbreaking and watching it now... I feel mostly the same. The kiss at the end still gets me. It really does. One thing season 1 does well is make the monsters of the week a metaphor for what it’s like to be a teenager. And Buffy and Angel’s romance is the perfect example of this. I doff my cap to Whedon.

Is that plastic ring right with this outfit?

Up next, Online Dating is scary. Mostly because of how the technology reminds me that I’m old as hell.

Until next time, Slayerettes.

[bearnece-city]

THRIFT-TALKING

One man’s donation is another man’s treasure

by Ara Butler

 Lately, I have come to notice a surge in the vintage clothing market. Whether it’s a booming trend or a case of being fiscally conscious, it seems that every time I go up to my friends or some random on the street and point out a piece of clothing I’m intrigued by, the conversation is always the same.

 Me – OMG! I love (fill in the blank) where’d you get it?

Friend/Random – Oh, thanks. It’s thrifted..

These short conversations aren’t exactly surprising to me, though. I am an NYC kid and the eccentricity that looms over such a city can’t be found at your local mall or commercial store. It is a thoughtful blend of crafted creativity (sometimes crazy) and the desire to be different.

 Personally, my thrifting bug struck when I was 14. I attended a performing arts high school and the kids were offbeat, to say the least. To sound oxymoronic, I wanted to be different just like they were.

 Therefore, when I arrived, as a doe-eyed freshman, onto Boston University’s campus for the first time last year I was pleased to know my thrifting addiction would be appeased by the numerous second-hand shops in the area.

 Fortunately enough I was able to speak with the owners of a thrift shop in Cambridge, 15 minutes away from BU’s main campus on the B line.

 Angela Williams of Rock City Resale told me what made her shop’s thrifting experience special and how she felt overall about the trend.

 The special part about Williams shop is that they “don’t cater to one specific item; we cater to everyone across the board,” she said.

 “We get all kinds of people. It’s not just for girls. There’s something for everyone. If the girlfriend is shopping for clothes the boyfriend is looking at records, Williams said.

 Williams pointed out a key difference in thrifting, saying that thrift stores are not the same as vintage stores, although some think the two to be synonymous.

 “Thrifting involves so much and involves anything that’s second hand. Vintage is anything 25 years or older,” said Williams, meaning that just because an item is thrifted it may not necessarily be vintage.

 I then asked the difference between retail and thrift to which she exuberantly answered “The price!”

 Williams followed up with “The price doesn’t mean the condition [of the items] will be any less,” and that thrifting is also “great for the environment.” The reusing of items does cut down manufacturing of new items thereby lessening the carbon footprint; shopping and doing good all in one.

 Our chat ended with my asking her what her favorite thing was that she had ever thrifted, to which she said, “A brand new Cuisinart knife set for $10!”

 For a peer point of view, I went to BU student Joane Nahue (CAS ’18), an avid thrifter, who described thrifting as a way to keep up with fashionable trends on a budget.

 “The first used clothing item I ever bought was a pair of high waisted jeans I cut into shorts,” Nahue recalled of her thrifty beginnings.

 “I couldn't bear to cut any of my jeans, so I decided to go searching for a good ole’ pair of high waisted jeans at Goodwill I could cut up and not feel any regret about it,” she said.

 Nahue made a good investment; the high waist trend has been going strong for the last few years.

 But, I still wanted to know if I was the only one who found thrifting to be cool rather than just being something to do when you’re low on money.

Nahue again reassured my love for the thrill of the thrift saying that “it's pretty awesome wearing a shirt or a sweater someone once owned.”

To her, it felt special as though “someone passed it down” to her specifically.

Reflecting on the negative connotations that once came with the buying of used clothes Nahue said, “Before thrifting was seen as a thing only people of lower means did because they couldn't afford to buy new clothes but, now with fashion going back [to previous trends from the past] thrifting provides those styles for less.”

She was right. People did and still view thrifting as something for the poor and are either too proud or disgusted to do it. I can recall a time in middle school when some girls in my grade started talking about this girl because she got her Nikes at Salvation Army. The girls were the classic mean girl combo of feigned empathy and mockery but, secretly I liked the girls’ purple Nikes; they were different and showed personality.  

Nahue was also right about the blast from the past trends. Thrift finds can date back decades and why buy a brand new “worn in” band shirt from a popular retail store when you could find the real deal, for less money.

Finally, I again wanted to know the best thing she had ever thrifted. Her answer: “XL sweater that I use to walk over to the gym.”

During our conversation, Nahue had also mentioned Goodwill, the holy grail of thrift stores. And conveniently enough for all of my Terriers, there is one on West campus 965 Commonwealth Avenue, the same block as Sleeper, Claflin and Rich Halls. They welcome donations and even have student discounts at the start of fall semester.

Goodwill is also the perfect Halloween store. For the holiday, the store loads up on costumes creating window displays of how you could pair up your thrifted finds for a completely unique and creative costume. Last year my friend wanted to be Ariel from “The Little Mermaid” (she’s a ginger), so we went to Goodwill and picked up some green pants and a purple tank that I made into a DIY crop top. She was transformed into a modern day Disney princess for only a few bucks and if she was feeling especially funky with her fashion she could reuse the items.

Additionally shopping at Goodwill is a great way to support a fellow Terrier. BU alumni Reverend J. Edgar Helms was a student of theology and went on to create the well-known brand in 1902. Helms opened the store as a way to help his community providing immigrants and the lower class with affordable clothing, housing wears, and jobs.[1]

Back home for the summer, I began to miss my eclectic Boston stores and fellow thrifters, until I ran into a high school acquaintance and fellow Bostonian, at a local thrift joint.

Chelsea Fingal a student at the New England Conservatory (Vocal Performance 18’), like me, was a die-hard thrifter and I was curious to know her thoughts on the topic.

She had a very artistic take, “I can mix and match and create my own style and I really like the freedom that it gives me to have control over how I express myself,” said Fingal.

She added that thrifting “Can be difficult. You have to patient and persistent.”

To qualify what Nahue had said about the poor history behind thrifting, Fingal gave a reason as to why the trend is reaching beyond those in need and said “More people are finding out about and seeing the interesting styles that can come out of thrifting. They want to be a part of that movement and artistic expression.”

Fingal finished her thoughts with suggesting the Garment district in Cambridge as a go to place for her Boston thrift needs; the store offers a “by the pound” discount in which customers pay $2 for every pound of clothing purchased, every shopaholic’s dream.

I, of course, had to know the best thing she had ever gotten.

“I found this beautiful Jacket. It’s green and blue and I feel like the coolest person when I wear it! [laughs],” she said.

Thrifting is a sensible way to shop and you can end up in some great finds but, more than that it’s a community. Despite thrifters looking down on commercial retail (me included) without it, there wouldn’t be anything to donate to our beloved second-hand shops. That is why before heading back to Boston this fall I will be purging my closet, donating to local stores and in doing so will help myself make room for new discoveries and contribute to the thrifting cycle.

I urge my Terriers to do the same. And if anyone would like to accompany me to the Garment District (thanks Fingal for the suggestion!) hit me up.

I leave you now with my best find:

Genuine Brown Leather Handbag, $9!

[1] Jenni B. Baker, “Goodwill® Celebrates Founder Rev. Edgar J. Helms’ 150th Birthday,” http://www.goodwill.org/about-us/goodwill-celebrates-founder-rev-edgar-j-helms-150th-birthday/

[agreementtale]

Chapter 7: Of the Ruins

They were full. They had forgotten how good it felt, the simplicity of a belly full of pie.

Mom still hadn’t come back from her room, so they put the dishes on the sink and went to their own room search for… no, that was wrong! Actions speak louder than words!

They returned to the kitchen and washed the dishes.

Much better.

Then they retreated to their room. A few things were needed for the plan to take form.

Actions, not words.

They would give her the stars.

Step two gather materials.

Step three go to… the… ‘icy place they forgot the name’.

Step four befriend the hell out of monsters.

Step five break the barrier.

Once monsters were free, it would be obvious how much they loved everyone.

They were sure they were forgetting a few steps along the way. It would probably be smart to make an actual ‘To do’ list at some point. But for now they knew what they needed.

Clothes, food and better equipment. Maybe a backpack with a blanket would be useful too if their foggy memory of cold wind was any clue.

Going again through the closet they saw several yellow and green sweaters, it was strange how they overlooked them last night…

The rational part in them kept reminding that they needed warm clothes, the other half kept saying ‘nope, not messing with dead kid stuff!’

Dead kids...

They remembered the king had collected six, and they were the seventh soul needed to free the underground.

Maybe that's why Mom was so scared, she had lost six children already.

Wrong.

She lost eight.

…

That was… even worse... they… they couldn’t just abandon her after that…

It was settled. They would not leave the Ruins until they had made it right to Toriel.

Step two take care of Mother.

They could leave the Ruins when she was better, when she was happy.

Finding a paper from the art supplies on the room, another list started to form.

Bath.

Sewing clothes.

Pie.

Tidy the house.

Fix her relations with other monsters.

That should do it. And what better place to start than from the bottom of the list? Quickly scribbling a note for Mom, they ran out of the house, calling for the right person to do the job.

“How was breakfast?” he appeared from behind some bushes, still with a half mocking smile.

They carefully made conversation slipping a question here or there to gather information, he was upset, so they would avoid calling her ‘Mom’ in front of him for now. The two of them went back to the abandoned part of the Ruins. He insisting that killing monsters would make them more powerful, and to his annoyance, being denied every time, finally settling in a pleasant silence.

Every house was empty, but they liked hunting for materials here, it was like reliving a piece of monster history, and at the same time exercising their memory on all the right places.

“What are you writing?” He asked after they took a particularly long time looking at the list.

“Just my ‘To do’ list” and now that he broke their line of thought they were struggling to find the right things to add.

“A what?” His completely honest question threw them out of guard, lifting their eyes from the paper, their brother looked quite puzzled, their old translator’s instinct trigged and they went into full explanation mode, years of solving cross cultural miscommunications making the current issue obvious.

“It’s a human technique, you write everything you have to do, and break it into smaller tasks, it makes easier for you to accomplish and to remember things”

“Can’t you just remember it using your head? like normal people?” Maybe he couldn’t make a ‘To do’ list on the first place, maybe he couldn’t write with those vines… they had to test that theory, but another time, now it was deflecting time!

“Please Flowey” They made a show of rolling their eyes “have you met me?” and accentuated hand gestures “If my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party”

It seemed to work “since when you are funny?”

They faked offense “I’m always funny”

“Idiot funny, like a dog wearing socks funny”

The mental image brought them joy “Fair enough. But I do have a point here” saying pointing to the list.

“That is?” he pried. They didn’t want to admit it was a list of what they remembered they had to do from previous resets, they also didn’t want to lie to him, so they compromised.

“I’m trying to” compensate “do nice things for” mom “Toriel”

“Why?”

“Because it’s” my fault “sad that she has to live alone on the Ruins. She” is “seems like a” wonderful “good person and I” have to “wan to” make “see her smiling”

“What if I told you she killed people?” They didn’t expect the mood dropping so quickly “Would you still think she is good?” but he looked at them serious and attentive “Would you still stick around?”

“Absolutely” they said brandishing their stick on the air, to punctuate the unintentional pun.

“Why do you still have this thing?” The act seemed to avert Flowey’s attention for the wrong reasons “What happened to the knife we found?”

“Oh, it’s still here, on my inventory” The Toy Knife was dull, they couldn’t think of any remarkable use for it yet, for now it would just hang on their inventory, everything they collected would.

“Equip it!” He ordered while they scanned a next house for materials.

“No, thank you” But they wouldn’t be ordered around, not without a good reason.

“The stick have zero attack” he justified “you know why? Because it wasn’t made for fighting”

“Neither was a piece of plastic” said while finding a boot under the bed, the other half of the pair was nowhere to be seen.

“It was human made! It’s the imitation of a weapon, it had the intent build on it, it’s bound to have some attack”

“Well I have no intent of fighting anyone so, attack is irrelevant” they ignored the angry huff “But I’m still interested on the defense, so if you find any equipment I can actually use, I’ll be grateful”

“I should just ditch you” But he hadn’t, so maybe he too missed them “since she likes you so much she can keep you alive” maybe he too missed Mom.

“You can always join us” it would be nice have them all together, like old times.

“I can’t” he dismissed, entering the next house.

“Why?” they followed, carrying the new found boot and a few pencils.

“Because I can’t!” he said loudly, real anger on his face, but he quickly went back to scanning the house, they let him, pushing too much seemed contra productive “It’s not like she would let me in anyway” he mumbled.

That they could work with.

“What I’m hearing is…” the intonation catch his attention “If she is the one inviting you in, would you join us for dinner?”

“No” Again with the finding problems to their solutions.

“Why not?” said with disappointment clear on their voice.

“I don’t want your pity” Pity? Where did that come from?

“It’s not pity, I genuinely want you there” If he could just stop being difficult “You are the one drowning in the self-loathing” he shouldn’t – Wait, did they said it out loud? Were they dumb? “Stop being a coward and talk to her” No! That was equally mean!

“Shut up!” He screamed “Shut up! You don’t know what you are talking about so shut up!”

“I know talking to people can be scary” He probably had done this hundreds of times, for just the mention cause him this reaction, they had to be understanding.

“You don’t know anything!” except they did.

“Ok… I might not know know, but I know. You know?”

“No” he deadpanned “You’re stupid and don’t make any sense” maybe they did owed him a better explanation.

“I’ve been here before” he just needed to understand a little “I know things before they happen” he already knew they knew “and the two of you will get along just fine”

“You've never been here before” he knew… didn’t he?

“C’mon Flowey, trust me on this” They struggled not to use his real name.

“You didn’t, I would remember” No, he wouldn’t. Why be so stubborn?

“Ok, ok, how about we go back to the point?” This discussion wasn’t going anywhere “I won’t ask her to take you in” he at least was reasonable enough to listen “But if she offer, you take it”

“She won’t offe–/”

“Good! Then you have nothing to be scared about!”

“I can’t get scared, stupid!”

“So you’ll do it?”

“Whatever” that was the maximum they would get from him. They would take ‘whatever’ over a refusal any day.

After spending the whole day exploring with their brother, right as the lights on the Ruins got dimmer, Toriel found them again. She was frantic on her search, unstable all the way back home, alternating between scolding and hugging them, to the point the walk to her house was two to three times longer.

Gladly, with enough reassurance, they managed to calm her down. Apparently she expected them being back home in time to lunch, and got quite scared that something had happened to them when they didn’t, despite the note they left saying they would be with Flowey.

The mentioned monster vanishing the exact moment she was in sight, didn’t help their case. But they would make it work, starting by telling her how great of a job their brother did, by protecting and guiding them in her absence.

“Do you want to hear some facts about snails?” She asked after dinner, on her reading chair, book already on her hands.

“Absolutely!” Smiling, she threw some interesting facts, they let her read to them, using the time to pay attention on how their memory worked. Nothing she said was new to them, they could actually remember her reading them this same book, on this same chair…

But the memory didn’t came back until after she read the facts out loud, sometimes they would have the next word on the tip of their tongue, but not remember it for dear life until the last second. It was an odd sensation and kept them attentive through half of the book.

But their mind started to wander, maybe if they focused not on her words, but on the meaning of the memory, they could remember something before she said it… maybe they could… try…

“I have a question” Startled by their sudden interruption she seemed a little wary, but they had a point here.

“Are slugs divorced snails?” Her eyes blinked comically.

“Pardon me?”

“You know…” they tried to make an imitation of an old cartoon character, just like they remembered someone else doing “Yep buddy, she took the house” At least they remember the punch line in time, their voice came out a little weird and nothing like what they remembered, maybe was the intonati–/

“Ha ha ha” The loud laugh startled them back to reality “Oh, child” She was beautiful laughing so carefree like that, a warm sensation bloomed on their chest, pride inflating their posture.

They discretely picked their list, adding a new phrase right next to ‘Mother’.

A laugh a day.

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