#that hard. she’s kinda normal. except she’s claire and stuff. we know her

[hsslilly-blog]

i dislike drawing bags because i’m lazy but claire has this huge collection of bags i think. even though she’s always with That One. for uni and casual outings. i think bags are a big claire thing so whenever she Really goes out she always has a different purse matching her outfit

[lovelesslittleloser]

Another Great Idea From Yours Truely

So basically imagine a ghost au of Danganronpa V3 except with the twist that Shuichi can see the ghosts (shocking I know)

So basically it goes like Shuichi became the Ultimate Detective because the ghost of the person who died told him everything they knew and Shuichi (still clever as hell don’t get me wrong) just put the rest of the pieces together and was like ‘hey uh. It was that guy right?’ And everybody lost their bananas

And so he became the Ultimate Detective wHICH IS WHY HE DOESNT THINK HE DESERVES HIS ULTIMATE ITS BECAUSE HE WAS PRACTICALLY HANDED THE ANSWER ON A SILVER PLATTER

And with the first murder he asks Rantaro like ‘hey who killed you?’ and unfortunately Rantaro was too confused with his sudden death know shit so he has to go the normal route of Sleuthing to figure it out (or maybe Rantaro knew something but not quite enough to change anything due to ✨plot convenience✨)

Kaede is a ghost now (do I see a ghostly figure playing Claire De Lune?) and probably apologizes to Rantaro and he kinda half-forgives her because he understands where she’s coming from but like. Bruh

But then come Chapter 2 (Electric Boogaloo) he meets Ryoma’s ghost (maybe even before they find the body if you’re feeling ~spicy~) and he’s like ‘alright who killed you’ and Ryoma like knows but he would probably be like ‘hah I got what I wanted, I’m not telling you shit’ which would be very annoying

But that would be yet another excuse to keep things on track, so not much changes (because Rantaro and Kaede are probably following Shuichi around so they wouldn’t know more than him) and Kirumi dies and does nOT in fact apologize because that would be a ✨lie✨ (and boy aren’t we fond of those)

Now this is where things may or may not start getting off the road paved for us; Ryoma will probably stay depressed and look for a way to die again (maybe idk? Let me know if I’m getting his character absolutely wrong it’s been a while) but Kirumi could go two ways. Either she could 1) stay in the crazed state she was driven to in the trial or 2) see reason and chill tf out

If 1, she’ll probably go in a similar enough route as Ryoma where she’s trying to get out of the confines of the killing game, possess someone, or die again so she can reincarnate (or something, etc etc, I’m spitballing here) meaning she won’t be useful to Shuichi finding the killers.

Conversely, 2; she will chill out and help Shuichi with stuff he asks of her (staking places out, haunting people in because they’re likely to be murdered or murder, see who leaves their dorms at night, etc, still spitballing) and maybe help find a killer or two!

Either way, Angie dies and she’d probably be a bit miffed that she wasn’t able to meet Atua just yet but she’s chill so she’d probably assume it’s part of Atua’s Plan or smth idk

Although she’d probably know it was Korekiyo who killed her, which would make keeping things on track hard (if you wanna do that I probably shouldn’t assume huh) so Shuichi might know to stop the whole ‘let’s go in a room with the murderer with the lights off’ thing and keep Tenko from dying.

Lmao Korekiyo is all like ‘hey let’s talk to the ghost!’ And then Rantaro is just like ‘ah yes, Shuichi, let’s talk to the ghost’ and Shuichi is somewhere between laughing and crying because HA THATS GOOD THATS A GOOD ONE BUD but also GODDAMMIT AVOCADO MAN SHUT UP YOU’RE DEAD

So now Angie’s dead, Tenko might be alive if you chose that route, but Korekiyo is definitely dead. But how dead?

This might sound stupid because ‘Loveless, you dumbass, you idiot, he’s dead what do you mean’ well shUT UP I HAVE AN EXPLANATION TO MY CONFUSION

So part of Korekiyo’s execution is that he died and turned into a ghost, makes sense, no confusion there— BUT THEN HE GETS SALTED INTO DEATH AGAIN. So like… maybe his ghost is just. Not around. Hell you could even take this as Monokuma’s warning that Shuichi is on the thinnest of fucking ice.

So, currently, we have:

Rantaro: dead and ghost, follows Shuichi

Kaede: dead and ghost, follows Shuichi

Ryoma: dead and ghost, depressed (might have used the salting method to die again? Your choice but hey)

Kirumi: dead and ghost, insane/helpful (if insane maybe used salt?)

Angie: dead and ghost, chillin

Tenko: dead and ghost, follows Himiko OR alive- your choice your problem idk man 🤷

Korekiyo: dead. Very Dead.

And hey if you make Tenko die, you can have Shuichi console Himiko with words taken directly from Tenko’s ghostly mouth :)

(Lmao this is sadder then I thought it would be)

Okay and with this next one things get REALLY REAL (heheheheehhehehehhehe)

So the Neo World Program is like technology. And ghosts are known to screw with technology. Food for thought your choice your problem heheh :)

Anyway since ghosts can’t follow you into VR the ones that follow people would just be waiting like dogs at the door (hey that’s a good expression heck yeah) and so they would notice Miu dying and might try to like. Make Shuichi colder or something so he realizes something’s up and heads out. And since Shuichi’s smart he’ll figure out by maybe the second or third chill down his spine

Anyway Miu’s a petty bitch so she’ll snitch with no hesitation, even before Shuichi asks, which you might think won’t change much BUT WAIT

When Kokichi tells then it was Gonta obviously Shuichi would have a reaction of surprise, but Kokichi is smart so he’ll be able to tell it wasn’t a ‘what?! Gonta?!’ kind of surprise, but instead a ‘wait he’s telling the truth??’ kind of surprise. He may not say anything but he’ll know

Ahem anywho Gonta dies and is super mopey and sad and apologizes profusely to Miu (who doesn’t forgive him even though she was the one planning a murder first) and he might even feel bad enough that he like hides away somewhere to train to become a better gentleman or something.

AND HOO BOY THIS NEXT ONE COULD BE WILD IF YOU WANT IT TO

So uh. Starts off with Kokichi saying he’s the mastermind and Shuichi calling bullshit, of course.

But when they discover the body (body more like bloody ha gotem), Shuichi will make eye contact with Kokichi and Kokichi would probably ✨freak out✨ because this was not part of the plan

So he’ll just like shush Shuichi and maybe explain the whole plan(? I mean I think he would but it’s your choice I guess) and so basically you are now given the option to have Kokichi and Kaito’s plan actually work!! Your choice as to what happens after that but Kaito will still die due to his illness and Tsumugi might die still but uh. You get to keep Kiibo and maybe Tenko so that counts as a win right?

Might write more than this later just give me several hours days months weeks? Yeah that sounds right

[spiders-hth-is-an-outlier]

Possibly a big ask to get just out of the blue but: what are your Supernatural season opinions? Which one is your favorite? Least favorite? Did you watch long enough to have showrunner opinions? If yes, which showrunner is your favorite and which is your least favorite? If no, which season that you haven't seen most tempts you to get back in the Supernatural trenches? Answer exactly as many of these questions as you want to. Carry on.

You know, I am not sure how long this Ask has been sitting here, because my Tumblr notifications are borked -- I hope not long? If long, I apologize, I wasn't ignoring it on purpose!

Okay, so I have more than the average number of Supernatural opinions, probably, but I'll try to keep this to a dull roar! Inside Me There Are Two Wolves: one of them believes that only the original five seasons of Supernatural are worth defending in any way, the other really, really loves seasons 11 and 12. The Kripke Era had a lot of problems, particularly in its treatment of women as bodies without agency and its treatment of Black men as literal predators, but also for all its flaws, it had a kind of coherence and narrative drive that comes from being the product of a dude who obviously cared about it and had something to say. Taken on its own, seasons 1-5 are a brutal and compelling story about the traumas of being men in a universe that's been absolutely destroyed by its Fathers: on almost every level, it's about these abandoned and brutalized boys discovering that their entire reality is the product of an abandoning and brutalizing God, populated by authority figures who are universally demanding and arrogant, but also completely fucking useless. It's quite literally about Sam and Dean trying to hang onto their souls and their own agency when everyone around them wants them forced into shapes formed by conflicts that fell into place at the beginning of time. It's hard to remember, but back then even the Lucifer plotline was about that! It was about the damage fathers inflict on sons! Things were about things, in the Kripke era!

Then we get to the Gamble era, and. Woof. I actually -- don't hate 6 and 7? Like everything Sera Gamble touches, those two seasons are kinetic and memorable and funny and weird and hit some really, really great emotional beats. There are Some Problems, but Gamble was saddled with a pretty dire job, trying to find a way forward after everything about the series really had effectively wrapped up in Swan Song, and I think she did an okay job. People got mad at her for killing Castiel, but you know, damn, I give her this: that was a storyline. Like, this character who was fresh out of the cult he was raised in becoming disillusioned by how messy normal life is and deciding that maybe people need better authoritarianism instead -- the way he's driven to take too many risks by the fact that he's abandoned and desperate -- Crowley as a legitimately scary villain while still being charming af -- and the tragic resolution of Castiel being torn apart by both his hubris and his heroism. It's actually really good. I understand why people didn't want what Gamble was serving up -- and I'm able to like it because it was undone later, you know? -- but she really did commit to a full season of character arc and saw it all the way through to an earned ending, and I gotta respect that.

I genuinely hate seasons 8 and 9. I think everyone is a dick, particularly but not exclusively Dean, to the point where I just find it a bummer to watch. I mean, you get Benny, and I love Benny. You get, I dunno, bits and bobs of decent episodes, but overall they are very fucked up seasons in my opinion. So Carver era is on thin fucking ice with me, but I do think you start to get a rebound in season 10 with the Mark of Cain stuff, although I wish they'd managed to keep Cain around longer. All the really good Claire stuff starts happening, which is nice because Claire, but also because for once the show is really letting itself go back and deal with the mess these protagonists leave behind them constantly. Castiel and Claire have maybe the most interesting non-Winchester relationship on the show. Oh, and Rowena shows up around here too, right? Love her. So the back half of Carver, 10 and 11, are starting to really gain traction for me. The world is building outward, secondary characters are starting to be genuine characters in their own right, the politics of Heaven and Hell get a little richer and more interesting. The show is really starting to feel like it takes place in a universe, which is great because we love the Frigging Winchesters, but they shouldn't be the only thing going, right? We have 15 seasons to get through! Season 11 is basically bracketed by what are probably my two favorite Supernatural episodes: Baby and Don't Call Me Shurley. (I think I'm the world's only living Metatron fan; I fucking love that little dude.)

Dabb takes over in 12, and I really, really, genuinely love season 12. I fucking love Mary. There are so many episodes I adore -- Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox is a special favorite of mine, and I remain pissed off that the Banes twins never made it to recurring status, bluntly that feels wildly racist to me -- probably the best three-episode streak in the show is Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets to Regarding Dean to Stuck In the Middle (With You), three just almost perfect episodes. So I was poised to really love the Dabb era. I wanted to! My body was ready!

And I do really love the first chunk of season 13, the Widow Winchester arc. Obviously I'm a romantic, love that for me, but it's just also really good? The acting, the writing, the psychological complexity of Dean wanting Jack to be Bad so he has an outlet for his anger and Sam wanting Jack to be Good so he can retroactively parent himself and raise a Lucifer-tainted child who isn't crippled by self-loathing. Billie's great, and it looks like she's going to start being one of the major powers of the universe. Unfortunately -- with the occasional exception of this or that solid episode -- that's kind of the end of Pretty Good Supernatural. Season 13 kind of unravels; season 14 always feels like it's looking for itself (which is a bummer, because I wanted very much to care about Michael); season 15 is, idk. Idk about any of it, it's all pretty pointless. I feel bad complaining on some level, because the show's been on for like fourteen years at this point! It's kinda justified in feeling a little worn out. But the reality is that the later seasons systematically undo all the expansion that had excited me earlier -- the Wayward Sisters crew pretty much vanishes when the spinoff isn't picked up, Naomi and the angels stop doing anything, Crowley's gone, Mary's gone for much of it. We're just kind of futzing around with monsters who don't seem to matter (very much including Lucifer, who hasn't mattered in ages) and a lot of Jack, who. I try not to shit all over, because I know he's a popular character, but I find him just ungodly boring. Everything in the last two and a half season just feels like it's headed nowhere in particular, and also it bored me. The Empty deal is just sadness porn; it doesn't have any resonance or meaning in terms of Castiel's character, it's just him agreeing to die for his kid, which is okay, it means he's a loving dad, which he is, but there's no conflict there, ergo no real drama. It's just mean; it happens because it'll make us sad, and no other reason. Rowena is the only strong secondary character left, and her ending also doesn't feel particularly relevant to her, it's just a generic Sacrifice to Save the World. Everything just feels like they're autogenerating plotlines, rather than letting the actual needs and drives of the characters shape the narrative. So while I have this weird split personality with Carver where I either hate what he's doing or I love it, most of the Dabb era is just. There. It doesn't make me feel anything except kind of tired and embarrassed. Which is a bummer, because I have an inexplicable fondness for Dabb, probably just because of how much I love s12. I wanted to love his seasons! I did love his first season! I feel like maybe something happened when the CW rejected Wayward Sisters? I know that was kind of his darling, and it feels like maybe losing that kind of sucked the joy out of him, and he's kind of checked-out by the end. That's genuinely just my guess, however.

That's Professor Milo's Intro to Supernatural Studies, don't forget to fill out your course survey on the way out!

[youralternantpersonality]

New Me

OC x Reader then Embry x Reader

Warning: abusive tactics are used in this second part.

Part 1: “Gaslight” by Snow Tha Product

Part 2: “New Me” by Ella Eyre

Part 3: “Falling for You” by Tamia

***

Ella Eyre here, it's a new me Didn't have time when you knew me Why you tryna call like booty, oh, yeah, yeah

Take a step back and 180 I could play you like you played me (yeah) I really don't care for it lately, though, yeah, yeah

Over the past few weeks, Isaac would try to grasp my attention. At first, it was, well, indifferent. By all means, I was not going to take him back. I was stupidly in love with him, not stupid in general. He would text me different things like “can I come over”, ���babe let’s talk about this,” and my favorite one, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean what I said.” It was comical really. So, for the fun of it, I thought I’d talk to him after school, just to see what his lame-ass would say this time.

“Y/n/n, are you seriously going to talk to him?” Kim asked, leaning into Jared for support of pure affection. I shrug my shoulders.

“Yeah, why not? He doesn’t have a shot in hell with getting back together with me. So, why not give me something to laugh at?” I said with chips in my mouth.

“Give who something to laugh about what?” Embry said, sitting next to me. Over the past few weeks, Embry, Jared, and Paul invited themselves to our table for no reason. Just, literally, took a seat next to us, introduced themselves, then proceeded a conversation with us as if we all knew one another and hung out with each other regularly.

“Y/n/n is going to allow Isaac to explain to her why he is an ass and beg for her forgiveness.” She says nonchalantly. Embry’s eyes go wide.

“Why? Are you thinking about taking him back?” He said looking straight into my y/e/c eyes. I smiled and shook my head no. It was hard to talk around him. It's one thing to admire him from afar, it’s another to sit next to him and attempt to have a normal conversation. Noticing my incoherent ways, Kim jumped in.

“She just wants to see what he’d come up with an officially laugh in his face. Almost like revenge, only without the spitefulness.”

“But her doing this is spiteful.” Paul shot back.

“Yes, but that’s not the point,” Kim argued. “The point is, she’s doing it, and we’re going to support her. Then we’ll later look back at this moment and not regret it because it will be funny as shit.”

“Hopefully a thing of the past,” Embry said underneath his breath.

“I’ll let you guys know how it goes.” I move to get up to head to class, “See you guys later.”

You need to change your story, bae Tell me you want to talk It's not what you came here for This heart is ghost, that girl you know Don't live behind that door Anymore, nah

Ella ain't here, it's a new me I don't make time for your foolin' Kinda got things to be doin', oh It's a new-new me, it's a new me Ella ain't here for your problems (what?) Left-right-left, keep on walkin' Shoulda took care of your diamonds, oh It's a new-new me, it's a new me

After school, I met Isaac in the parking lot next to my car. In a distance, I could see Embry’s deep brown eyes watching us. His glare at Isaac wasn’t shy of anyone around. Embry had a deep hatred for Isaac for multiple reasons. One, because of how he treats women (worse than Paul; at least Paul lets you know he’s not serious, Isaac will lead you on and drop you like you were nothing), and two, because they have a history. Isaac would bully Embry and his friends a lot of the time. When I found out about it, I confronted him. Thus, starting the downfall of our relationship. Trust and reassure that, by no means, was it Embry’s fault. Isaac was just an ass. And as soon as the gods blessed Embry, Isaac backed off quickly.

“Let’s get this over with Isaac. What do you want?” I said in an irritating and bored tone.

“Geeze, no hug? No ‘hey Isaac’?” he asked as if he deserved it.

“No. So what did you want?” Looking at him. We were the same height. I was “5’10” to his “5’11ish”. His intimidation game never worked on me and by the looks of Embry and his “6’2” fine ass, he was no intimidation to him either.

“I just wanted to see how you were doing since we took our break.” He shrugged.

“Boy, are you stupid or a dumbass?” I said squinting at him.

“What did you just say?” He said in a rough tone. In the corner of my eye, I could see Embry straighten up and Paul and Jared stopping him from coming over here.

“Break? What break? We broke up. Completely done.” I said as if it was a clear and obvious statement. He laughed at my statement and had the audacity to say what he said afterward.

“You’re crazy Y/n. We never broke up. We just needed a break from one another to see what we wanted. All these other girls don’t matter babe. You do. And only you.” He says grabbing my waist, pulling me towards him. I pushed away from him.

“The fuck is wrong with you? Are you dense or just stupid? We’re done. Leave me alone. Don’t text me, don’t call me, don’t even talk or look at me,” I tried to push his hands off me, but he held on tighter when I tried, “and don’t fucking touch me you bastard.” He glared at me and before he could say anything, he was on the ground.

“What the- “

“Embry, stop. I’m okay.”

“Don’t you know, when a woman says stop, you leave her alone. It’s called consent. Maybe someone should teach it to you some time.” He was visibly shaking. I grabbed his face to look at me and he let Isaac go.

“I’m fine. I promise.” I look at him with a small smile.

Got a new phone, got a new key Got my girlfriends and the new weve And I don't do what I used to When you call me tryna come through

'Cause Ella ain't here, it's a new me I don't make time for your foolin' Kinda got things to be doin', oh It's a new-new me, it's a new-new me

Why do you think you can come here? Not a doormat, it's your assumptions (No) Never did care what I wanted, oh, ah

You’d think Isaac would stop bothering me after Embry, indirectly, warned him that he’d kill him if he bothered me again. But no, see Isaac had this personality where he was persistent, and it was both irritating and noteworthy. Obviously, from here on, it is irritating and just plain harassing at this point.

To think, I was hoping that this was going to be something to look back at and laugh at. No, at this point, it was a game to him. And all I had to do was make sure Embry, nor myself, played it.

Lemme just say you're a killjoy Lovin' the sound of your own voice Think you talk smart but it's just noise, oh oh yeah

You need to change you story, bae Tell me you want to talk It's not what you came here for This heart is ghost, that girl you know Don't live behind that door Anymore, nah

Ella ain't here, it's a new me (new me) I don't make time for your foolin' Kinda got things to be doin', oh It's a new-new me, it's a new me Ella ain't here for your problems (what?) Left-right-left, keep on walkin' (walkin') Shoulda took care of your diamonds, oh It's a new-new me, it's a new me

Got a new phone, got a new key Got my girlfriends and the new weve And I don't do what I used to When you call me tryna come through

This continued onward for weeks. By this time, it was finals and graduation was just around the corner. Kim, Clair, and I have been helping the guys for their finals. Jacob and Quil had officially joined our little friend group and Clair finally got her baby daddy’s attention. It was cringy watching them flirt around one another until Paul, of course, called them out on it. Ever since it’s been smooth sailing with all of us.

Throughout this time, Embry and I had gotten closer. Where his attractiveness was hypnotizing, I tried to not let it get to me too much. However, he would find any excuse to see me outside of the school grounds with everyone. And to be honest, ever since we started doing that, it had been wonderful…Except for the fight that nearly broke out when Isaac cornered me after school one day—a day Embry, Jake, and Quil wasn’t there. Unknowing to him, Paul and Jared were watching closely

'Cause Ella ain't here, it's a new me (new me) I don't make time for your foolin' Kinda got things to be doin', oh It's a new-new me, it's a new me

Not now, never Not now, never Not now, never No, never, no Not now, never Not now, never Not now, never No, never, no

Not now, never Not now, never Not now, never No, never, no Not now, never Not now, never Not now, never No, never, no

Ella ain't here, it's a new me I don't make time for your foolin' Kinda got things to be doin', oh It's a new-new me, it's a new me Ella ain't here for your problems Left-right-left, keep on walkin' Shoulda took care of your diamonds, oh It's a new-new me, it's a new me

I was walking to my car beyond after hours finishing up my English paper for my final. Thankfully Mrs. Cartwright hated giving tests and decided to just have us do a massive five-page paper over Macbeth. Trying to hurry along since the rain was about to pick up. As I make it to my door, a set of hands grabs onto my waist and pulls me to a body. A hand goes over my mouth and a familiar voice whispers in my ears.

“I’m tired of you running away from me Y/n,” Isaac said pushing me into the side of my car. His eyes were bloodshot, and he smelled of alcohol and cigarettes. I pushed him back easily, and he stumbled backward to another teacher’s car. I unlocked my door and threw my stuff inside.

“Go home, Isaac. Don’t fuck up your future just because you decided to go psycho on someone.” I tell him, turning my back to get in the car, he grabs me and tosses me on the ground. My head hitting the asphalt as he towered over me.

“You will listen to me! You left me, you bitch! For that piece of shit Embry,” he spat, “You’re nothing but a whore!” He said, grabbing me to sit me up. And for once I was terrified of him. He lifted his arm to backhand me, but before it could touch me, it was caught.

“Lay another figure on her, and Embry isn’t going to be the one you need to worry about.” I look up to see Paul, Jared, and these other two kids who I later learned to be Seth and Leah.

Got a new phone, got a new key Got my girlfriends and the new weve Glad I don't do what I used to When you call me tryna come through

'Cause Ella ain't here, it's a new me I don't make time for your foolin' Kinda got things to be doin', oh It's a new-new me, it's a new-new me

As much as I wanted to put this behind me, I couldn’t. I didn’t want this to happen to any other girl who may come across him. So, I filed a police report. With the security footage the school caught, it was easy to put a protective order and charge him with harassment and assault.

After that day, Embry barely left my side. I was honestly fine with it, having him near made me safe. Over the summer, we hung out more and more each day. The more we hung out, the more confidence grew between us when we shared slight touches. On the beach, with just us, he’d make sure to comfort me and keep my anemic ass warm. Or when we’d go hiking, I noticed that he’d find the steepest trails so that he could hold my hand.

“Okay, Embry, can I make a suggestion.”

“Sure.” He said with excitement.

“No more steep hills, okay boo? I get that you’re fit. I do, and quite frankly, it’s lovely. But your girl over here is dying. Am I grateful for the weight-loss journey I am experiencing? Yes. But can a girl keep up? No, not yet at least.” He smiles and laughs under his breath at my exhaustion. I hit him in the stomach for his reaction.

“Alright, alright. No more steep hills, boo.” He smiles, eyes shining bright at the word I just called him.

“Just for that, you’re carrying me down. Ain’t no way in hell I’m doing that shit.” I say, jokingly, while laughing.

“Okay,” He shrugs his shoulders then proceeds to lift me while going down the trail.

“I was joking! Put me down! You’re going to hurt yourself!” I yell at him.

“Naw. I’m good. Plus, you’re not even heavy. So, stop moving before I accidentally drop you. The last thing I want to do is see my girl crying. Jesus, that’d kill me.” He said. I look at him with wide eyes and smile.

“So, I’m your girl, huh?” I look at him. He stops and looks down at me and smiles.

“Yeah, basically. Wait, you’re okay with that? Right?” He looks at me worrisome. “I don’t want you to think I’m forcing you into anything.” I couldn’t help but laugh at him.

“No, Em, you’re perfectly fine. I promise.” I smile sweetly at him and we continue onward in silence. 

[hyperfixateandchill]

aaand because I can’t stop thinking about it i’ve written down my ranking of post-finale deancas scenarios including a non-exhaustive list of pros and cons for each. read on at your own discretion.

1st place: Deancas open up the new Roadhouse. My personal favorite because, again, Dean’s canon dream. I think Dean would LOVE running his own bar and playing host and serving people food and drinks is basically his love language. Cas isn’t as into the bar vibe specifically but he enjoys seeing people come and go and getting to know the locals who come by and just being with Dean. They get to stay connected to the hunting world without being actual hunters which is probably the perfect win win situation for them.

Other Pros of the Bar scenario (i’ve thought about this a lot): Claire and Kaia come by increasingly often to visit until eventually Claire basically works part-time at the Roadhouse when she’s not off hunting and Dean starts only semi-ironically calling it the “family business.” Claire puts up pride flag stickers on the front door and Dean makes a thing of it at first but then warms up to the idea. People start catching on and now local queer people will come from several towns over to visit the bar because there aren’t exactly that many queer friendly spaces in their corner of Kansas. Then it’s pride month and Claire and Kaia secretly update the bar’s online info to explicitly draw in queer customers and on the evening of the nearest pride march the bar is PACKED with all the local gays and Cas has the pop music blaring and he will NOT let Dean change it but it’s ok because Dean’s made friends with a drag queen who’s a professional comedian and now they’re comparing calendars to see when she might be able to come do a set at the Roadhouse and basically their bar is now a gay bar. “LGBT friendly”, Dean insists, because 1. he’s not gay and 2. he still caters to the local straights and the hunters. but now hunters come in and end up sitting 2 stools away from a flamboyant!gay and some are slightly weirded out but most don’t care at all and all of them end up making some kind of comment about how they’d heard about Dean Winchester and his angel... guess it’s true huh? And Dean shoots them a cocky grin and says ‘yep’ but he still holds to the rule that pop music is only allowed on tuesdays and thursdays and maybe very late at night on the weekends when everybody’s drunk and dancing. The Roadhouse is a second home to Dean and it’s the perfect mix of middle american dive, hunter’s hangout and lgbt space, and that’s literally DEAN so it’s perfect and he gets to work with his family by his side and be a part of a community (or several) and he feels useful and happy.

Cons of the Bar scenario: Doesn’t work great with having a small child or hobbies. very long hours and unusual work schedule. would encourage Dean’s drinking habit. I.e. it might be more intense than some alternatives (unless the bar is more cafe/diner during the day and Claire/Kaia/whatever other youngins can mind the place on their own if deancas aren’t in and the bar is located quite close to their house to they can come and go).

Overall works pretty well for a more active/energetic take on deancas’s lives post-finale. 8/10

2nd place: Mix of mechanic!Dean and retired!deancas. Dean’s never had a proper job before or much of a social circle who aren’t hunters, so I find it hard to imagine Dean working at an autoshop and playing mr. normie with his coworkers. Same with Cas and a regular job.

What I can imagine, however, is Dean having his own small business where he fixes up old cars (for like, vintage car enthusiasts). It starts as a hobby but then he realizes people would pay him to do it so now it’s a business. Deancas obviously have a a house on a big plot of land near the woods and a lakeside, so there’s plenty of outdoor space for him to set up a small shop and most of his customers call ahead so he doesn’t have people just coming in anyway. The work is not quite enough to pay all the bills but again, Charlie’s magic credit card, so who cares. Cas gardens and beekeeps and occasionally sells the extras at the local farmer’s market. Dean cooks and fishes and uses Cas’s ingredients whenever possible. They spend their days on their own property, doing their hobbies on their own time and making enough money from them that they don’t feel useless and still have plenty of time left to get over-involved in Jack’s pta. It’s a very calm, contented life. the millennial hipster dream, fulfilled by two 40-some year old dads.

Pros: deancas getting to spend their days doing what they love, being ridiculously domestic and married (even if they’re not officially married), both being absolute malewives in their own ways and it’s disgustingly sweet.

Cons: this scenario doesn’t have quite as much excitement and opportunity for shenanigans as the bar scenario. Less connection to a community, more living like hermits. Dean might appreciate the more social atmosphere of a bar. Cas might be equally happy either way, but he’d probably like having Claire help them out at the bar so that’s a plus for him.

Overall a good scenario for a more placid semi-retired life. 7/10

3rd place: a bait and switch. Cas is the one who ends up still having something you could call a ‘job’, Dean is the househusband. It starts with deancas still helping saileen with HOL (hunters of letters) stuff but eventually Dean is very decided that he wants out now that things are in good hands. Cas agrees with him but still consults with the hol network since he’s got all that lore knowledge. Dean very occasionally helps with research/strategy for a hunt but that’s IT no more hunting for him, and so it ends up that Cas still comes by the bunker fairly often and works from home the rest of the time on research and translations etc and Dean’s 100% amateur chef-in-training and papa bear because now nobody can look down on him for being a housewife (or nobody he gives a shit about anyway) so he’s gone all in. and whenever he comes by the bunker these days is after he’s picked up Jack from school and he comes to join their family to cook them all dinner while they finish up the work.

Pros: love me a Dean who’s gotten over his hypermasculinity and is now comfortable with doing whatever he likes even if (sometimes specially if) that thing is considered stereotypically feminine. It’s his big fuck you to his dad and it’s the life mary had wanted when she was young and dean is mary and therefore he’s honoring her memory when he spends his days on a bright airy kitchen making lunch for his 4 year old and waiting for his ex-soldier husband he adores to come home and doing not one bit of hunting. except dean never had to lie about his past and cut ties with his hunter family to get this. which is why this time for him it works, when it didn’t for mary or sam. love that energy.

Cons: Dean is not in fact just a malewife and would probably still want some more action in his life. might feel kinda useless with Cas having a ‘thing’ to do when he doesn’t. Cas would be perfectly happy regardless though.

Overall heartwarming and sweet but not as realistic: 6/10

4th: Disheveled-magic-shop-owner!Cas (+ Sam and Dean). Just thought of this. Cas knows his shit about spell ingredients and magical objects and supernatural weapons, probably more than even Sam. And Cas gardens. And Cas most likely enjoys pinterest and mom blogs and finds out about etsy... So Cas may or may not start growing/hoarding specific goods he knows are useful in the hunting world. at first it’s just to help HOL out but eventually Dean realizes like... we could profit off of this? And Cas eye-rolls because he doesn’t care but then again he knows his shit so he sets up a poorly-designed website to sell hunting stuff. and maybe Sam goes in on it with him because Sam also knows his shit and it’s kind of cute because they work together and Dean probably does the mechanic/barkeep/househusband thing though he does help with making the special bullets and dropping off parcels at the post office and so on. And maybe eventually they open up a small magic shop where they sell their shit. And maybe the shop is next door to the Roadhouse and it’s all become ‘your one-stop shop for everything a hunter might need’ (and you know the gays like their new age shit too so it all works), and the bunker isn’t even far away either and all three business are interconnected, the ‘family business’ that AU John Winchester of Hunter Corp wished he’d created.

Pros: Cas gets to do a thing he’s knowledgeable and passionate about and Deancas get to leave hunting while staying adjacent to the community. Cas as a disheveled shopkeep who’s not particularly nice to customers but who provides them with insights and mysterious comments that make people certain he must be legit.

Cons: Cas using his knowledge of the supernatural to profit off of hunters sounds too capitalist and not very Cas-like. He would be the type to gladly give people stuff for free and methinks that Dean and Sam would feel that way too. Cas helping with HOL stuff is basically established in options 1-3 already and so is him gardening for potentially useful ingredients. He doesn’t need to sell this stuff in a shop.

Overall makes sense theoretically but doesn’t vibe well for me. 5/10

5th: full on retirees, doing basically the same things as no 2 except with maybe some more travelling and less caring about making money from any of it.

Pros: the “and they lived happily ever after” they deserve after all the shit they’ve been through.

Cons: boring. uneventful. Dean and Cas are still quite young and neither’s had a chance at something even resembling a normal life for more than a couple of months at a time. They should get more of a middle aged married life experience before moving on to full retirement.

Overall valid but less interesting: 4/10

6th: Cas gets a job at a local library or shop, Dean is either a mechanic or a househusband. To preface, if Cas were to get a job out there in the world, my favorite would be like a magic shop or a bookshop with *unique* books. But I find that unlikely unless Cas is running his own shop (see 4th place for that). So here we’re talking about a regular normie shop.

Pros: Cas has a job he likes and feels useful in? And he’s not completely tied down to Dean all the time (though not sure that counts as a pro). More of the ‘normal life’ vibes.

Cons: Cas working at a random bookstore or library or shop or whatever would be passably interesting but not as fulfilling or useful or fun as any of the other options.

Overall valid but not interesting or all that heartwarming. 2/10

6th: deancas don’t know any life outside of hunting so they keep on doing it, except now with lower stakes than before and they go on less actual hunts.

pros: umm... consistency? they keep working closely with saileen and the new hunters who start coming by/moving into the bunker.

cons: everything. Dean’s wanted out and he should get it. Cas literally died several times over and he should get to experience a human life with the man he loves and not just do more dangerous shit.

Overall a terrible idea. 1/10 (because 0/10 would be the Cas never comes back and Dean dies and goes to heaven scenario)

[bearpillowmonster]

Resident Evil 2 Remake Review

NON SPOILER

I've bought Resi 4 on Steam, after the first level of playing it, I realized that it wasn't for me, all the enemies looked the same and it looked repetitive, zombies kept spawning and there was no way to get rid of them all, I ran out of ammo, it was a mess. I knew that the genre did that, I know that that’s the point, but I didn’t like it. Plus, I couldn't even really get the gunplay to work right. I heard that it was at its best on the Gamecube but I haven't given it another shot since then. However I saw that Resi2 got a demo, so I played it when it released and I kind of liked it, I was sold on the game and asked for it for Christmas (or maybe even my birthday, so yeah it’s been a long time but I was busy with other games) Now, the RE3 remake is already out...wow, time to play RE2 then, huh? So, you can consider this my "first" RE game.

Right out of the gate, visuals are stunning, almost needless to say and the level of accuracy is immense. I mean I didn't expect there to be a gas station at the beginning but it even had the lighters and beef jerky towards the front and stuff, they really went all out. 

I can't imagine seeing this game when the original came out with PS1 graphics, it's ambitious, this is clearly the way it belongs. I thought a bug flew on screen but then I realized it was in-game, it's immersive, I don't normally read all the little tidbits and notes and stuff but it was generally interesting to read on the lore along with the VHS tapes and get some clues as to what to do next. I tried to play through it as if it were 1998 so I didn't look much up, I usually tried to do it myself with a few small exceptions. I felt accomplished by the end of each session like "Wow, I did that. I'm smart." It's rewarding. Now I played through each campaign so both Leon and Claire (starting with Leon) Claire on the other hand I was more lenient with, I looked up a decent amount because I was already in the station doing the same puzzles as Leon. It makes me wonder how they got the same items story-wise though, I mean we see Leon leaving her notes but you can't blow up the same wall twice in reality, that's nitpicking the game a little bit though. I will say that I felt like it was a wild goose chase when I did look it up because every thing I looked up was giving me different information "The portable safe is in this room." "No it's in this room." "This is the combination for the unicorn statue" "No it isn't, this is." Because it varies when you're playing on standard vs hardcore and whether it's your first or second run. So, I got my punishments for looking it up I guess.

But with that said, I know some of these types of older games have a tendency to make it really confusing and difficult without a guide so I was kind of worried about not knowing what to do or where to go. While I will say I had had to look a few things up, it became cut and dry once I figured out the pattern, most of the things I looked up were things I was going to do anyway but wanted to make sure before I somehow unleashed a hoard of zombies that I certainly didn't want. Same goes for story too, I knew close to nothing about it. But you basically just have to make it to the next area, think of it as that Chowder episode where he loses his hat and Chestnut has it so he has to go around doing odd jobs one by one in order to progress. The overall goal is to get out of the police station and kind of just find a way to survive but you have to focus on the smaller goals / getting to the next room. I looked pretty thoroughly through everything and managed to find everything I needed without even trying or knowing what it was for half the time like "Well this should come in handy later." *puts it in storage chest*  Speaking of, I like how each chest is like an Ender Chest and is interchangeable as if it was the same one chest in every location, that makes things much easier rather than some hardcore game of "where did I put my keys?" that I'm not into. But you learn to find your destination a lot easier than I thought. That was always something I hated about Resident Evil games while watching them, that there was a lot of backtracking but actually playing the game hits differently, it's not what I expected, it's actually kind of fun, like I mentioned saying "I know where that is!"

Maybe it's just the setting of a police station that did that for me or maybe seeing speedrunners doing it with the old games and paying no mind made me scared or maybe the fixed camera angle of the old games (so that each side of the room had the clip as if it were just a picture) along with the idea that the originals are dated rather than PS4 but regardless, it's just surprisingly not annoying like I thought.

Games can easily stress me out but I actually found myself cruising and feeling good about it despite all these zombies...then I met Mr. X. He chases you EVERYWHERE throughout the game. Thing of nightmares. I will probably hear footsteps in my sleep now. I knew he was coming but I didn't know his presence wasn't always scripted, it's just a game of cat and mouse...and he's the cat! It gets me paranoid because I'll stop and hear footsteps then stand still for a good 5 minutes and he's still tromping around. I walk down a hall. BOOM! Crashes through the wall, making ME screech. There's no way to get rid of him and it kind of ruins the atmosphere to be honest, I know it's trying to be scary but it's more annoying than scary because every time I move I'm like "Ok stop" and I'll stand around for a minute, checking the map, to check the fastest route to where I need to go, just to make sure and then continue... only to turn the next corner and then repeat. I couldn't even move comfortably anymore, it's space invading. The tension is high because he can come into the main hall which I liked to use to save but alas, I had to memorize where all the other save points were or check the map again.

So, you get to play as Claire, which I like, but with Leon's story it's kind of just like "Well I'm going to do my own thing and if she survives, she survives." I understand each step is essential to progressing and getting closer but for all he knows, she's just out in the rain, waiting for him to unlock the door. And I also know that she said that she can handle herself (before Leon had to point out the zombie behind her! lmao) and he has survival on the forefront of his mind too but still. They flirt every time they're on screen together but the thing is that I love it, I ship it, it's cheesy but I don't care, that’s half of what I’m even here for.

As for the rest of the story, you're telling me that they made not just one movie but a SERIES of movies and it wasn't this?! This is great, this is a master-craft in its work. I'm not a big fan of zombie movies, I'm sure there's one out there that I like but I can't think of any off the top of my head but this? This is it! (Jennifer Lawrence would make a good Claire tbh) Let alone the horror genre in general, I'm not even frightened all that easily, I just think a lot of the plots and decisions are stupid in horror, this goes against all that. Speaking of spooky, I know making the screen brightness balanced is normal for games but I don't think it's mattered more than here, brighten that baby up because sometimes it's pitch black, immersive but still hard to see.

Boss fights are something I didn't think a whole lot about until I actually got to it. Doing the first boss fight with G was really memorable for me because I could cower away all I wanted in that gridded pit of a machine room and just launch grenades at him but it wasn't until the bosses in the sewer that I really started to like it. First was that Crash Bandicoot type running sequence, then we had G-2. I had actually ran out of ammo at that point, I used it all on the sewage monsters (I didn't get the flamethrower, I didn't know how, as I said, I did this more or less blind) so I just kept running, and clicked X every time the option came up, hoping to pick up something good. All I got was a combat knife and a flash grenade, then I started messing with the buttons on the control panel, in hopes of cheesing it and just going to the next section but then I realized what I was actually doing. I was using those buttons to move a crate and using that crate to slam G into a pit. I love the classic boss style, I haven't played a boss like that in a long time. One where it doesn't matter how much ammo you have, but just using the environment to your advantage without it explicitly telling you (except the death screen giving you hints). That was until the later boss fights, you basically just keep unloading your belt until they die, kinda lame but whatever.

This actually made me rethink the genre and also about giving one of the other games a shot (PLEASE REMAKE CODE VERONICA, I BEG!) it might be right time, right place (PS4 with modern graphics and modern gunplay) that made me actually interested. The “true ending” is unlocked by playing through one of the two’s campaign and then playing through the other, which is basically the same game but with different cutscenes and context (some new areas too) so it’s definitely worth it, you could even just speedrun the second run if you’d like, you even unlock a secret boss and for those who have already seen the true ending, know that I liked it based off of what I said earlier, no spoilers.

[rational-mastermind]

A/N: Hey!! Everyone wants more Quinnvoyant right? Right?? Well too bad, it’s all I have. And an au! Soulmate au where if you write on yourself, it’ll show up on your Soulmate.

--

  Everyone knew that if you wrote on yourself, it would appear on your soulmate as well. And Chris Quinn was no exception to this. Though, for a long time, there was only cute things like drawings of cats and rainbows and stars. Cute poems. Reminders. It was fine enough when he was a kid but as he got older it was just embarrassing. So he would wear long sleeves and hide the writing as best as he could.

   Sometimes he would talk with her, but she was too shy to reveal where she lived or who she was. Which kind of annoyed him. Wasn’t the whole point supposed to be that they would meet?

   When they got to high school, they talked less. Life got busy for her. Life was busy enough for him as well. Sometimes they would check in. Sometimes it would be reminders of homework assignments, or notes in class. Just kind of easily forgetting the other can see what they wrote.

   Then one day, his skin started getting covered in words, very quickly. Bright red marker showed up all over his arms and hands and it crawled all over his body. The same words over and over and over.

   “FREAK”

   “PSYCHO”

   “CREEP”

   “KILL ME”

   None too surprisingly, the only place she didn’t write was on her right arm. She was too busy writing, after all.

   Chris found a nearby ballpoint pen and began writing.

   “Et tu?”

   The scribbling suddenly stopped. For a moment he was worried. But then the ink began running off. It looked wet and began to run down his arms.

   Tears.

   After watching it a moment he began writing himself.

   “What happened?”

   “Bullies.” was the eventual reply.

   “Why?”

   “Cause it’s true.”

   “Same.”

   “What do you mean?”

   Chris sighed. He knew he wasn’t like other kids. They would all avoid him, be afraid of him, or talk about him weird just cause he talked about blood and death and demons and stuff that went bump in the night. He wasn’t gothic. Not by a long shot. He just...liked gore. He liked pain. He once got into a fight. One of the kids had a knife.

   He couldn’t stop giggling.

   There was something so...so thrilling, when he saw the red.

   The voices in his head only encouraged it.

   “I’m a psychopath.” he wrote.

   “I don’t think you are.”

   “That makes one of us.”

   “Well what makes you so weird?”

   “I… hear voices… And… I see things.”

   “Really?”

   “Yeah. But I’m told it’s not-”

   “Me too.”

   Chris stared at the two simple words. Somehow, it utterly stumped him. He felt...weird. He wasn’t sure why though. But he wasn’t entirely opposed to it.

   “What kind of things do you see?” he asked.

   “It’s hard to describe. Sometimes it’s people. Sometimes it’s just screaming. Or loud talking. Sometimes it’s colors and random pictures. What about you?”

   “More about dogs and demons and the end of the world and shit.”

   The rest of the writing on his body started to disappear. She was wiping it off.

   “Can we switch brains?”

   “Yeah, yours sounds more fun.” he chuckled to himself. After a moment’s thought he ventured forth to ask. “So what do you imagine I’m like?”

   “I don’t know. When I try to read you I get this weird image of something dirty and gritty like a horror movie. But at the same time, I also get this...warmth.”

   “Warmth?”

   “Like a towel out of the dryer. It’s warm and soft and it feels like home. It’s funny... Reading your words…”

   Chris felt a bizarre fuzziness grab hold of his brain. The world seemed to darken around him as she continued to write.

   “I can almost see you

   Christopher Quinn”

   Suddenly Chris felt very uneasy and quickly began rinsing off their conversation and scrub the words away. An unsettling chill surrounded him. It was weird. It was creepy. It was...sexy?

   Chris then proceeded to dunk his head under the sink and run cold water over him as well.

   They stopped talking after that.

   Chris got into writing. Finished high school and began making his living.

   Then the asylum.

   Then the Shadow.

   Then the Ministry.

   Chris went through so much hell. Of course it had its positives. There was Trilby and kicking demon ass. A good use of his psychotic tendencies. Making the world safe from the Shadow and keeping magic a secret. The people around the Ministry weren’t too bad. Yarrow was a bit...boring. But Jim was fun to mess with. And Claire was fun. There was always something to do, even if that something normally made Trilby roll his eyes.

   Then one day, well… It was bound to happen.

   Trilby was going to be out of action for a while. A mix up with a vampire left him incapable of going on assignments with Chris. But anyone who ever called Chris a “loose cannon” would recommend that he got someone to tag along in place of Trilby. Someone responsible and level-headed.

   Well who better than the absent-minded psychic he was pounding in the off hours?

   Yeah they were knocking boots. Nothing to get too attached over. It’s not like Chris got to know her life story or anything. Just letting off a bit of steam whenever they could hook up. All he knew was that she was very very much a psychic. Something he found interesting and she found best kept swept under the rug, much to his own disappointment.

   At first she seemed hesitant to go on a mission with him, but after some convincing, and a lot of unusual head shaking and slicing motions from Trilby behind her, she finally agreed.

   It was a simple mission. Done and over in a day. Of course it was the traveling that took the longest. It was on the farthest end of Ireland, naturally. It had some cultists and brainwashing and something to do with summoning a pagan deity. Claire was a natural and it was actually kind of fun getting to do work stuff with her.

   They were traveling back and Claire was already writing up their required report on a notepad. Chris couldn’t help but notice the way she gnawed on a pencil as she tried to focus. The way her fingers drummed through the air like she was at the computer back at HQ, if not fiddling with her large, round glasses. The way the air around her became still and focused as she accidentally projected her feelings about them. Chris could practically hear the gears grinding away in her brain as she tried to recall every needed detail.

   He chuckled to himself and it instantly snapped the tension in the air as her brain derailed.

   “What? What’s funny?” she asked, looking up.

   “Nothing. Just.. I dunno.” he shrugged. “You’re so focused.”

   “Well… I mean..” she shrugged as well. “It gets kinda hard to report faithfully.”

   “Eh those pricks in the higher-ups always find flaws in our reports. No matter what.” Chris rolled his eyes.

   “Hm. True.” Claire sighed. “But it’s not just them. You go looking through so many different minds, so many different vibes and lives it’s kinda easy to forget what’s happening in the real world. You know?”

   “Well.. No. I wouldn’t.” Chris glanced back at her.

   “Oh.. yeah, I guess you wouldn’t.”

   Chris chuckled again.

   “Hey by the way, you were pretty great back there.”

   “Hmm.. I wouldn’t say that.” Claire shrugged.

   “You kidding me? The way you fucked with that one-”

   “Ummm.” Claire interrupted and Chris noticed she looked horribly uncomfortable as she fidgeted with her glasses more. “If.. If it’s all the same Chris.. Can we not talk about...that?”

   “Oh.. Right. Sorry. Forget that makes you uneasy.”

   “Just…something drilled into me, I guess.”

   There was a moment of silence. Then Chris spoke up.

   “Hey um.. Can I...ask something?”

   “If you wanna know if I can predict the future, the answer is no.” Claire rolled her eyes.

   “Damn.” Chris clicked his tongue in disappointment. “....Did you always hate your powers?”

   “Mm..” Claire was quiet for a moment before she shrugged and looked out the window of the car. “What was there to like?”

   “Um, cause it’s fucking psychic powers.”

   “Yeah, exactly.” she sighed. “They always got me in trouble.. It.. Creeps a lot of people out.”

   “Come on. It couldn’t have always been that bad-”

   “No. It was.” Claire growled, her voice taking on a tone akin to earlier that day, but somehow lacking the same venom behind it. “It was always that bad. It was awful. You’ve no idea.”

   “...Well… Like what?”

   “....Like earlier.” Claire shrugged. “But.. By accident. I would...hurt them.. And scare them.”

   Chris frowned. Claire was normally so bubbly, happy, a bit forgetful, but chipper despite the depressing and horrific nightmare that their livelihood was. He hated seeing her this downtrodden. It was wrong. Like on a fundamental scale, this was just wrong.

   “...Did.. Something traumatic happen?” he asked. “Something that made you hate it so much?”

   Claire gave a dry chuckle before replying. “I wouldn’t say...traumatic but.. Well.. It did drive a wedge between me and some really important people.”

   “Was there a guy?”

   “....Yeah…”

   Chris felt something grip him. A sudden kind of deep-rooted anger. The kind akin to staring down a vampire or some other unholy abomination. Not counting Trilby, of course.

   “Who-”

   “Should get some gas. Before the ferry.”

   Chris sighed but found a station and pulled over. Clearly she didn’t wanna keep talking. While he was filling up, she went inside to use the bathroom.

   “Look over the report. Jot down anything I missed, got it?”

   “Yeah..”

    Chris felt crummy and stupid and angry. Claire was a great person! Why would anyone hate her for having psychic powers? Okay yeah so she kind of really mentally fucked with that one guy. And yeah okay so maybe she kinda caused another to have an aneurysm. Yeah sure that might’ve been a more common problem when she was a kid and yeah it might’ve been like Stephen King’s Fury, but so?

   And it’s not like Chris would’ve hurt this guy…. Much.

   He growled and kicked a tire before getting back in the car. He sighed and leaned against the wheel, waiting for Claire to return. That was when he noticed Claire’s notepad left laying on the space between their seats. Oh right.. Reporting.

   Chris sighed and grabbed it. He looked over the notes. Everything seemed in order. She left off at the part where cultists were about to start sacrificing the local children but she’ll likely finish jotting down the basic plot when they got back. Chris grabbed the ballpoint pen she had been using and was about to go back and fix her grammar when something caught his eye.

   A small doodle Claire had in the corner. It was a cat.

   Chris squinted and looked it over carefully. It looked familiar.

   Suddenly it dawned on him. He had seen this before.

   Chris’ mind started racing, putting all the pieces together. But.. But how could he prove it? And how could he prove it without worrying Claire?

   Chris then looked back at the pen in his hand and had a perfect idea.

   Meanwhile Claire was hiding in the bathroom. She knew this was a bad idea. She knew this was gonna be horrible! She knew this was gonna happen and she just had to keep playing with fire, didn’t she??

   “Stupid stupid stupid!” Claire banged her head on the wall. “Listen! To your! Intuition!!”

   Of course she knew who he was. Ever since the first day Trilby introduced him at the STP.

   Claire and Trilby were discussing the differences in using iodized salt compared to sea salt, though ultimately, they both knew pink Himalayan was best. But then Claire felt it. A familiar presence.

    She suddenly felt an oncoming wave of giddy excitement that made her almost tremble. And a familiar warmth that quickly wrapped around her like a towel fresh out of the dryer.

   “Claire? You okay?”

   “Think someone’s-”

   “Trilby! We gotta go do a thing with cake- Oh. Hey.” Chris had rounded the door to Trilby’s cubicle but stopped short seeing Claire.

   “Hey.” Claire waved.

   “First of all, never again. Secondly, I never introduced you two, have I? Chris, meet Claire. Claire-”

   But she already knew who he was. But a deep anxiety prevented her from saying anything. But after getting to meet him, within all of five minutes she forgot entirely, simply living in the moment. And then she forgot again when they agreed to meet up after work. And she kept forgetting to a point it would’ve felt awkward to start saying anything then and gosh dammit.

   ‘Claire, why do you do this to yourself??’ she sighed and stepped out of the bathroom. ‘Always have to make everything awkward and weird…youfreak Can’t just remember to freaking speak up and say what’s on your mind?’

   Claire only hoped Chris would drop the subject and they could return to their normal status quo. At least she got to see him. At least they got to talk face to face. It was better than what most people could hope for. After all, some people never find their soulmates.

  ‘But they write every day.’  her unhelpful thoughts reminded her as she returned to the car. ‘When was the last time we wrote to each other?’

   She opened the car door and-

   “I KNEW IT!!!”

    “Aah!”

   Claire stumbled back, tripped on her heels and fell backwards onto the pavement.

   “What the hell, Chris?!” Claire scolded as she picked herself up.

   “Take a look in the mirror!”

   She got up and looked at her reflection in the window. She gasped, seeing a rather crude doodle of a cat across her cheek. She looked through the window only to find Chris with a matching mark and a wide grin stretching from ear to ear.

   “Why the hell didn’t you tell me?!” he asked.

   Claire stammered, laughed, and ended up crying. Her heart was pounding, she felt scared and worried. Chris’ smile disappeared and he got out of the car and came around to her.

   “Hey.. Hey hey hey. Hang on now.” he came over and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “What? What is it?”

   “I thought you’d hate me.” Claire managed to get out with a hiccup.

   “I know.. I’m sorry.. I didn’t hate you. I never did! I just.. You…”

   “Scared you.. Like.. I scare everyone.” she sniffled.

   “No! You didn’t scare me! I just.. I.. I dunno.” Chris shrugged. “I was a dumb teenager. I didn’t know what I was feeling.. I’m sorry.. I’m so sorry…”

   Claire simply shook her head. Chris ran a hand through his hair and thought for a moment.

   “...If it’ll make you feel better I could still kick my ass.”

  Claire laughed. She choked and then giggled some more and finally started wiping away her tears.

   “Please don’t.”

   Chris smiled and hugged her tight. She weakly hugged him back.

   “I’m sorry.”

   “I know..”

   After that, they began writing to each other more and more often. Little notes, here and there.

 “That was a lot of fun last night.”

 “There’s coffee in the breakroom.”

 “Fought a ghost. It was gross.”

 “Kissed one the other day.”

 “I’m stealing the last slice of cake. Don’t tell Trilby.”

   It was nice. It was fun. It was one thing that Claire would say was normal about their lives.

  “You wanna do something else after work tonight?”

 “I got a new cat figurine!”

 “Got to see the sunset while on the job. Reminded me of..”

 “Hey you’ve been quiet. You okay?”

 “Can I tell you something?”

   “I love you.”

[mrsmess]

Faves and fails of SPN (season 12):

Favorite episodes in chronological order:

12:3 The Foundry - Mylings! Nuff said. And I knew it as soon as I heard the baby cry. And that makes me feel good about me.

12:4 American Nightmare - Stigmata. Dean dressed as a priest getting stuck looking at a boy lighting a candle in the church. Mr Mess: ”Dean! Time and place!” Sam wasting his sensemaking on a relentlessly angry Dean as usual, but then laying the hard truth on the crazy lady - is it hot in here?

12:5 The One You’ve Been Waiting For - Nazi dirtbags! Referencing one of the great episodes of season 8 too. Good. Good. And Allison Paige is friggin’ beautiful! Nauhaus is such a spoofy villain I think this is a comedy. ”Do you know what it’s like to have en nazi necromancer as a father?” ”He had a guy named Fritz try to kill me!” GOLD.

12:6 Celebrating the life of Asa Fox - badass-intro. And Jody. Hunter community! Canadian hunter community! Here for it. Bucky, or as I like to call him: demon nr 5 from early season.... single digits.

12:7 Rock never dies - Loving this glam-metal thing. Crowley in LA. And omg! Cass being snarky with Dean of all people. ”Atleast I don’t look like a lumberjack.” I laughed. And Mr Mess pointed out that Cass is tired, that that’s why he snapped, and it dawned on me that Cass is *choosing* to be kind under normal circumstances. My heart! ”I work for sexists, rasists, even politicians.” Lol. Loving the group dynamic of the four. But I’m a bit disappointed that Lucifer can’t chill, he could have had so much fun.

12:11 Regarding Dean - A goofy Dean episode. That’s rarely bad news. I like Rowena in this, she’s rly growing on me.

12:15 Somewhere between heaven and hell - Honesty’s the best policy, signed, Dean. Hear, hear! ”So, ten years ago did you rly want something? Like, a Hello Kitty backpack or the death of an enemy?” Lol! Dean and Crowley and Lucifer breaking free! Dean is a hoot this episode. Sam, killing the hellhound like a pro, and thanking Crowley. And Crowley kicking Lucifer’s ass. That’s the stuff. And Sam being honest with Dean and Dean being all reasonable about it! Loving it!

12:16 Ladies drink free - Claire! Nuff said. Loving everyone this episode, except Mick of course, but my homicidal thoughts at the sight of his beard have lessened. ”The experiment was on mice.” Werewolf-mice! XD

12:17 The british invasion - Eileen! God this show needs more women, the brothers are so much better dealing w them, which I guess is a problem on its own. ”Make your voice a mail.” Oh Cass. Eileen and Sam! My heart! Am I shipping this? God I hope not, it’ll mean instant death. God, Mick is an idiot, I mean, I’m obv digging his change of heart, but apparently he hasn’t learned a thing in the entire life he’s worked for his fucky organization.

12:18 The memory remains - Goodness. Loving this intro. Taxidermist sheriff. Man, sometimes I feel these quirky characters are wasted on the just-passing-through format. ”Hunting people! Killing them! The family business!” Lol.

Fail episodes in chronological order:

12:1 Keep Calm and Carry on - ”You’re bad at your job.” Sure, she has a point, but as generous as this british chick’s offer is, her pitch is somewhat lacking. A torture montage is the quickest way to wind up on the fail list. Also ”break his mind”? That’s what it’s like inside Sam’s head *all* the time.

12:2 Mamma Mia - A sexscene featuring Dean Forrester is the second quickest way to wind up on the fail list. You say his name is Sam Winchester? Nah. Nope. Not buying it. Listen, I know I talk a tall game about being a big Sam-fan, I just don’t ship him with a.n.y.o.n.e. So what the sexscene isn’t real!? I still had to see it with my own orbs of sight. ”Your job was to find american hunters and gain their trust.” I’m howling! Maybe *you’re* rly bad at your job, lady!

12:10 Lily Sunder has some regrets - uhm... using demon number 5 to play other randos throughout a 15 season show I’ll forgive them for but you can’t use the same distinct actor (Ian Tracey) to play two distinctly different characters (Lee/Ishim) and not acknowledge it, especially when they could easily explain it as Lee’s body being possessed by Ishim. It ruins the whole episode for me. Also, I’m rooting for the ”bad” guy.

12:14 The raid - The british men of letters are the worst, they are worthless recruiting agents, salesmen and got crappy intel; where the Winchesters go the rest of the american hunters will follow? Pretty sure the opposite is true: ”Oh shit, the Winchesters are joining ’em? Better stay as far away from that shit as possible!” Also Mary’s being more than a little silly and I’m surprised Sam didn’t give her some speech about how he used to aim for big things like killing the devil, closing the gates of hell, before learning to settle for more realistic goals, like, staying alive, keepin your brother alive, savoring the occasional win, y’know, for the sake of your mental health. Anyhoo; Sam’s reaction on finding out Mary gave the Colt to the british men of letters might have been enough put it on the fave list but there are just so many icky characters and so many shots of Mick’s ugly beard I can’t let it slide. Plus Sam winds up joining these assholes. Boooohhhh!

12:20 Twigs & twine & Tasha Banes - Jeez. Petition to have Dean always justify his icky feelings about something w the Star Wars classic ”i got a bad feeling about this.” It would save time and my sanity. Also I have issues w Mary not being reasonable and understanding the basics about the life she and the boys are leading - you’re in or out, but there’s no finishing it w/o finishing yourself. Is this season’s big bad trying to annoy me to death? And the other hunters? What is it with this show and any other fun or awesome characters? Sorry, can’t keep ’em on, it’s a density-thing.

12:21 There’s something about Mary - Booohh! First Eileen, my bae (did I call it or did I call it?) and then the entire episode is full of The Big Annoying. First episode I didn’t bother finishing. Screw this season.

12:23 All along the watchtower - honestly I don’t get the constant jokes about IKEAs manuals, they’re all pictures, you don’t even need to be able to read to read them. Crowley <3 Plz spare me this show’s take on child birth, really just any show, (how is it possible that it’s so frickin’ hard to get right??), but especially this show’s. And Crowley. And Cass. And Mary. Such an intense bummer.

Honorable mentions:

Crowley blowing up Rowena’s scammer! And Rowena’s reaction! ”That is the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for me!” Covered in blood. Priceless.

Cass and his sass is on this season. He’s so done w everyone. The exasperation!

The hug at the end of 12:22.

Dishonorable mentions:

Dean and Sam making a deal to get out of jail, kinda unepic w a predictable outcome.

Mediocre mentions:

The entire episode Stuck in the middle (with you) - It’s a Reservoir Dogs reference right? And it works very well until you realize that, then you just start missing Tarantino’s poignant dialogue about tipping (not fucking!) your waitress. The return of the yelloweyed bloodline. Bound to happen with Mary back. Don’t care about that but I do care about Crowley being back and being awesome. The Dukes of Haphazard. That’s good, I’ve just been referring to them as the Two Stooges.

The episode Who we are - There are separate aspects of this I like: Dean and Sam blasting their way out of the bunker, Jody and Alex, Dean dreamwalking Mary back home. Ackles is a genius with this sort of thing. But it’s just so silly: The british men of letters are just so unepic, it ruins everything, wraps it in a mediocre blanket: They’re bad at their job, have inexplicable motivations, are such annoying stereotypes the only way this would be a win would’ve been if Sam’s speech went something along the lines of ”I’ve had this fly buzzin’ around my ear all year, I could use your help squashing it.” But at least, then they do.

Summing up:

I’m rly enjoying the warped relationships early in the season. Crowley and Cass. Rowena and Lucifer, Rowena and Crowley. Sam, Dean and Mary. But my usual creed about the gooey middles of seasons doesn’t hold true this time and I rly feel like it gets good only when it’s almost over. And honestly on whole the season is the worst so far. The british men of letters are so annoying and they’re everywhere, tainting everything. Ugh.

[twistednuns]

February 2020

I managed to use my iPad as a second monitor for my computer. So tech savvy. Yay me!

Joking about developing a sex-based cardio programme with Manu. Powerfucking! Might help against aggression as well.

A late night phone call with Tom. Not saying much.

Making a huge pot of my grandmother’s signature veggie stew.

More Bon Appétit test kitchen videos. Chris recreating tacos. Claire making Ben&Jerry’s. Priya making her mum’s Indian curries.

Writing a letter to Lena. Drawing upside down bats (which makes them look like they’re having a wicked dance-off). Just the act of writing. I thoroughly enjoy looking at my handwriting.

Using the Salted Coconut handscrub by Lush. Especially now that I wash my hands so often when we’re working with clay at school. I feel like the peeling triggers some pressure points on my palms.

That Saturday productivity high. Cooking and preparing heaps of stuff, cleaning the windows, doing laundry.

Painting my nails like an expressionist artist.

Some portrait studies. Accidentally drawing Sirius Black.

Being really motivated to improve my Spanish. Working with Lorena, the Duolingo app and even starting my own grammar/vocabulary book.

This ultra quirky ASMR video. Also: watching videos with Erin an her boyfriend Chris. It’s amazing how well they work together. How you can almost feel their connection, how similar they are.

Carrot cake oats.

Seeing the The Darkness live again, this time with Margit. Justin’s outfit and personality, singing along, especially to Time of my Life, the band’s traditional first song after the show.

Meeting Chris. Having a Bramblette cocktail at Pusser’s. I like that place. Feels very old-timey with a rowing boat right under the ceiling. We made out in front of a tiger slide in a toy store window on our way to the next bar.

Peeling fresh carrots.

Pickling onions and making kimchi. My fermentation game is strong these days!

Looking through Dominik’s sketchbook. I loved the tree whose bark resembled a mole burrow with its underground tunnel system.

The flu. Yes, really. Fewer pupils at school. Quiet times. I’m actually surprisingly healthy. I’d guess my probiotics must play a role here… Who knows.

More sourdough experiments. Writing about it (DELICACY - a haiku. Oven-warm sourdough / salted butter, alpine cheese / and a strawberry).

Finding a really interesting list of SanFran hippie era book recommendations at the end of Robin Sloan’s Ajax Penumbra: 1969. In the mood to read Maya Angelou, Tom Wolfe, Jack Kerouac, Richard Brautigan.

Even more beautiful books: I really enjoyed Die weiße Stadt by Karolina Ramqvist, a feminist author from Sweden, and the graphic novel version of To Kill a Mockingbird. But two books that literally (well, figuratively obviously) blew my mind were Circe by Madeline Miller (mythology, loneliness, animals and plants, magic and monsters, some desperate kind of feminism, independence and strength) and Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo (magical realms, university setting, psychological depth, unexpected twists and turns). I haven’t read anything comparable in a very long time and I desperately hope that there’s more to come from these authors.

A beach collecting all the world’s single socks in The Magicians. Oh and of course seeing them break the moon. What a sight. The show is super confusing, obnoxious and absolutely fabulous at the same time. Best example: the Freaky Friday szene in which Margo and Eliot switch bodies. I love how the actors took on each other’s speech patterns and behaviour.

A new addition to my colour vocabular: celadon (a greyish green; there is a type of ceramics you’ll only see in this colour which is not surprising since the shade provides such an interesting contrast to the the earthy, rusty orange of burnt clay.)

Manu telling me that he had rarely seen people with more joy in their eyes than me (“Ich habe schon Freude in deinen Augen gesehen! So ein Leuchten kann man nicht simulieren.”) after complaining about being bored and lifeless. / Making curry with or, well, for him the other night. Drinking Liqueur 43 with cinnamon and milk. Playing the Jackbox party games for which you can use your phone as a controller.

Finding myself in a well-known sitation from the past. Lying in Frank’s bed in the early morning hours, not that tired yet, when he starts talking about his life and his depression. In English, obviously, because that’s our emotional filter. Relating, since I feel quite similar. Coming up with a suggestion for a reciprocal support system. Let’s see what we can do for each other.

Looking at travel photographs. The sea, the cenotes. Longing to go back to Mexico or Australia. Diving. Taking it all in.

Dreaming of my grandmother talking about her biggest regrets in life. Weirdly she was in a little bundle under a coffee table, much like Voldemort in the last Harry Potter movie.

My weird, weird brain. How both pleasure and pain enhance my sense of smell and increase my brain activity, almost causing hallucinations and fixations on ideas. Like geometric shapes in gloomy off-colours and a beige silicon-like surface the other night. All I could think of was a benchscraper.

Blue eyeliner.

Brainstorming three-letter-words with Frank since I’m thinking of getting personalised Nike Blazers. Sad cat. Yes but. Dat ass. Why tho.

Flying squirrels. Watching them wobble through the air. How they look like cute exhibitionist when they’re extending their limbs and thus stretching their, well, let’s just call it wings.

The fact that red cabbage has an intricate pattern like brain convolutions when you cut it open.

Talking to Sonja for the first time in over two years. What a strange person. Interesting, too. At least in homeopathic doses.

Ripe strawberries and nectarines. Oh my god. I love fruit.

Meeting Eve at Pub Quiz. She identifies as female, loves swing dance, used to be an animator and I love her style. Also, I realised that really like Betty. And Dennis wasn’t mean to me for once. I love my nerd friends <3 And I learned that Starbucks was named after the first mate in Moby Dick! Also, coincidentally they asked a question about the city where To Kill a Mockingbird takes place (Maycombe, Alabama) after I had read it the week before.

Inviting Lorena to the Botanical Gardens. I always feel very happy and very much myself when I’m there. I sometimes wish I was a gardener. Lorena was late so I walked along the Spring Path outside and it might have been the first time I’ve seen a brussels sprouts plant. Inside I learned lots of Spanish words and marveled at the incredible butterflies. The huge yellow one right behind the entrance was my favourite. Its delicate feelers were fascinating.

Washing my hands at the Keg’s bathroom. Looking into the mirror. Suddenly thinking of the perfect karaoke song… Rescue Me by Bell Book and Candle! I kept singing it for days on repeat. My neighbour must hate me (nothing new here) especially since my voice is too low for the chorus.

It isn’t hard to see how such attachment patterns can undermine mental health. Both anxious and avoidant coping have been linked to a heightened risk of anxiety, depression, loneliness, eating and conduct disorders, alcohol dependence, substance abuse and hostility. The way to treat these problems, say attachment theorists, is in and through a new relationship. On this view, the good therapist becomes a temporary attachment figure, assuming the functions of a nurturing mother, repairing lost trust, restoring security, and instilling two of the key skills engendered by a normal childhood: the regulation of emotions and a healthy intimacy. // An interesting article on attachment styles and why theraphy works; it makes me want to learn more about attachment theory. This School of Life video is a nice addition as well.

That dream. About a book shop modeled after my picture of Penumbra’s 24-hour bookstore. There was an old man in a very narrow but high-ceilinged room full of books. There was no light source except for moonlight or some street lights. There were loads of stairs, very steep, leading to the back of the house. Upstairs the man would set out cat food and on the rooftop there was an old sailing boat. One day the man decided to open the door to the roof and let visitors see the ship, much like a museum; perhaps to attract customers. However, in the next night a cat-shaped ghost appeared who reminded me quite a lot of Kot Behemoth character in Mikhail Bulgakov’s The Master and Margarita. The ghost was not amused about the old man’s decision and took away his key, a big golden one adorned with a red ribbon.

Toasted sesame makes pretty much every dish so much better.

Watching High Fidelity with gorgeous Zoe Kravitz (I adore her effortless style and her outfits), getting in the mood for making a playlist and listening to more music in general. There are all these great songs out there I forgot about.

Remembering the xkcd storm chaser comics.

Making a wicked good batch of Pho for Tom.

Spending a nice evening with Alex at Shamrock. Singing along to American Boy by Estelle. Confirming the hypothesis that the nerdy, quiet ones usually have a freak streak. That moment in the morning. Eye contact and kegel exercises.

Karaoke with Margit and Betty. Meeting Manu’s doppelganger. Same type, looks, voice. Eerie.

Making a BA Gourmet Makes meme for Steffen after he had passed his law examps. Strangely Gaby kinda looked like him after I was done with it.

Saturday morning in bed. Reading comics and graphic novels. Fresh bedclothes, surrounded by books. Since it was February 29 I thought about leap years and asked a few friends what their inner seven-year-old would have done that day (based on the thought experiment that your birthday was on February 29 and you’d age in 4-year-steps which would divide your age by 4 obviously).      

I came up with: visiting grandma / eating Cini-Minis / falling asleep with my face buried in a cat / beating my neighbour Anna at Memory / drawing while listening to a Bibi Blocksberg cassette.

Alex said he’d have been outside all day, building a snow igloo. Not noticing his mum telling him to come to dinner. If the weather had been bad he would have played with his dinosaur collection. His inner 7-year-old was a hopeless dreamer who got agitated whenever his parents had a fight. Who came home late from school every day because he forgot about time when he was talking to his friend next to a hedge with thorns that looked like tiny airplanes.

Lena said she would have been outside all day long, playing in the mud with the neighbours’ kids. Of course.

[im-the-king-of-the-ocean]

Pride Month ficlet: Mary had been searching for "the right one" in all the boys at Arcadia Oaks High and then some. She hadn't expected the right one to be the girl who sat next to her in her junior year math class. (Could be any f/f ship involving Mary)

The Art of Romance

Romance was an art.  One Mary Wang thought she’d mastered before she was even seventeen.  Though her birthday was in a few weeks, so she knew she needed to get a boyfriend again so he could properly romance her and give her gifts and everything.  Gifts from friends were fine and all, and she’d definitely celebrate with Darci and Claire.  Well, Darci now that Claire was headed across the country on what could only be the romantic getaway of a lifetime.  What Mary would give to get do something like that.  Travel without parents.  Without school or homework.  With someone she loved, like Claire, who…

Wait.  What was her train of thought again?  Oh, right.  Birthday.  Romance.  Mary doodled a trio of hearts in the corner of her math notebook.  Miss Janeth’s class was so boring.  Even after the “Secret Troll Apocalypse (That You Cannot Boast You Witnessed On Social Media, a Novel By Toby Domzalski)” and learning that her over-dramatic teacher could kick ass, math class was just so meh.  Like all of Miss Janeth’s awesomeness had been used during the troll apocalypse and now that things were getting back to normal, she’d gone back to her boring, old Math Teacher Template.  Seriously lady.  Would it hurt to permanently upgrade to something fresh and at least somewhat cool?  

Not that teachers could be cool.  They were teachers.  But still.  Mr. Strickler had at least gone from “Boring History Teacher Turned Principal Who Mysteriously Disappeared” to “Avocado Troll Teacher Who Runs Around In A Skirt Thing”, which had honestly been fun because Mary got to start an entire movement against him she called, “Put On Some Clothes, You Are Traumatizing The Children” with its own hashtag on the online Arcadia High Post-Weirdness Message Board (that she’d created and was an admin for—if she wasn’t allowed to talk on Twitter about Arcadia’s recent weird shit, well, she’d just find/create a place where she could) and everything.  Dude deserved the shade everyone had subsequently thrown at him through the ensuing week.  That’s what you get for criticizing girls for not wearing proper school attire, and then turning around and revealing yourself as a troll who runs around half naked.

The world was still learning there was no force more powerful than Mary Wang and her phone.

“Pssst!  Mary!”

Mary sighed.  “What is it, Shannon?”  She’d been in the middle of an internal monologue and so not interested in returning to the real world because that meant remembering she was in math class.  Oh and also she was in The Zone and her twenty-fifth doodled heart had almost come out completely perfect except now it was ruined forever.

Shannon jerked her head toward the front of the classroom.  Mary looked in that direction.  Miss Janeth was looking directly at her expectantly.  Too expectantly.

“Ms. Wang, we don’t have all day.  Please come to the board and show the class how you would answer this equation.”

Oh, shit.

Mary slid out of her desk.  Bit her tongue so a curse word wouldn’t slip out and she’d get in even more trouble.

As she passed Shannon’s desk, the other girl pressed a small piece of paper in her hand.  Mary managed to hide it and sneak a glance without Miss Janeth noticing.  On the paper was a mess of numbers and equations.  Something that, for anyone else, would be super hard to read, but she and Shannon had been passing notes since, well, since they first met freshman year.  Mary smiled.  So, answering the equation on the board wouldn’t be so hard after all.

“Darci, it’s not that simple.  It’s really not.  I have dated almost every single eligible guy at school and even a few forbidden fruit guys from the academy.  All the good ones, you know, except freaking Steve.  I can’t just pick a new one randomly.  Especially cause it’s my birthday.  These things take time.  Planning.”  Mary rolled her eyes and took a long sip from the orange juice bottle she’d packed in her lunch.

Dating guys was an art.  It took finesse.  Not that Darci could really understand that.  She’d gone for the first sweet guy to look her way.  Not that was a bad, if you liked that sort of thing.  Anyway, from her observations, Mary had decided Toby was worthy of dating her friend (even if he continued to perpetually frustrate her for being adamant about keeping the troll apocalypse a secret from her Twitter following).

“What about Eli?”  Shannon piped up.  “He’s nice.”

Mary wrapped an arm around the other girl’s shoulder.  “Not boyfriend material, Shan.”  Better put an end to that thought train before it went anywhere.  Shannon was nice.  Kind.  Good traits to have.  Except, of course, in high school.  Or when considering the art of dating.  “Let me tell you something about guys…”

Look, the point was, Mary knew everything there was to know about dating.  And she knew that every boy at their school, absolutely 100% all of them, were not worth Shannon’s time.  Shannon was smart.  A bit of a bookworm, but honestly there was nothing really wrong about that.  She was kind of cute when she started talking about something particularly interesting she’d read.  Especially when she came up with a pun or a joke and would laugh.  Her nose did this adorable crinkle thing and…

Anyway, they made the best team.  Shannon had the book smarts.  Mary, the street smarts.  Together, they were unstoppable at whatever they put their minds to.  It may have been Mary who got the campaign against Mr. Strickler’s troll attire started, but it was Shannon who really got it rolling and organized with the student body.

Why put a boy between that pure awesome sauce-ness?

Great, now Domzalski was rubbing off on her.

“Hey Mary, um can I talk to you for a second?  Privately?”  Shannon was looking at her and it occurred to Mary she’d gone monologuing in her head again.  Had any of that made it out into her external monologue to Shannon.  Crap.  Should she risk asking?  Is that why she wanted to talk privately?

Crap.  Crap.  Crap.

Mary followed Shannon over to an empty corner of Arcadia High’s yard.

“So, what do you want to talk about?”  Play it cool.  Play it cool.  Play it cool.  Mary’s brain reminded herself over and over again.

“Nothing bad, really.”  Shannon offered her a sheepish smile.  “It’s just…um…can you maybe not give me advice on how to date boys?  Like I get that you’re trying to be helpful and stuff but…it’s just…”  Shannon took a massive breath and exhaled it.  “I’m a lesbian.”  She looked Mary directly in the eye when she spoke.  “I…I like girls.  So I don’t really need advice on guys?”

“Oh, ok.”  Mary’s brain panicked.  Wait.  Why was it panicking?  It was totally fine that Shannon liked girls.  Mary herself had two dads.  She’d grown up knowing that Gayness Was A Thing.  It was fine.  Everything is fine.  “Cool.  Great.  I’ll remember that.  No more guy advice.”  Mary reassured Shannon, who breathed out in relief.

By Miss Janeth’s class the next day, Mary was still mulling over the Shannon Is A Lesbian thing.  Her brain wouldn’t let it go.  Or rather, she’d sort of realized she had this feeling.  This indescribable, kinda exhilarating feeling.

If Shannon was a lesbian, and she was.  That meant, that meant that girls could potentially date her.

And Mary was a girl.

Ok, a girl who had never really considered dating other girls before.  It was fun, after all, to be romanced by a guy (although most weren’t exactly great kissers, but whatever, she needed to get practice somehow).  But still, she was now in the category of Potential People Shannon Can Date.

Except did she want to date Shannon?  And would Shannon want to date her?  Mary hadn’t always been the nicest.  The time that she snapped at Shannon while they were both serving Saturday Detention came to mind.  Did Shannon remember that?  But wait, Mary had apologized for that, and for other stuff, when they started to hang out together a lot more after that day.  And they’d always been sort of friends since freshman year.  But for a good chunk of that time Mary hadn’t really taken Shannon seriously.  But they’d still been friends, hadn’t they?  So they could theoretically get along.

But could they get along like that?

Wait, why was she even considering this?  The entire plan had been to find a new guy to date so he could romance her for her birthday and stuff.  She didn’t even like girls.  Right?  Ok, again, she’d never thought about it in great detail.  Dating was something fun you did with whatever guy caught your attention.  But then that wasn’t the only way to date, was it?  So…

Mary’s mind went deeper and deeper into the idea all through math class.  She didn’t learn much that day, as her fresh notebook page was instead full of ideas and thoughts for something far, far more important.

The next day was the first day Mary had ever arrived early to math class, but she needed to get there before anyone else did (and that included Miss Janeth).  Quickly, before anyone could enter the room and catch her, Mary took out a small but well thought-out bouquet of flowers (yellow daffodils, vibrant orangey-red tulips, and, of course, a few red roses—all favorites of Shannon) and a card with a heartfelt poem she’d found online last night.

Mary had never really done the courting part of romance before.  But, in this instance, she definitely wanted to try.  Shannon deserved the very best and Mary, after all, was the Dating Expert (even if she was new to the whole romancing girls part).

After placing down her gifts on Shannon’s desk as carefully as humanely possible, Mary exited the classroom.  This way she could come in with everyone else, get to see Shannon’s surprise and her search around to see who her mysterious admirer was.  Mary wouldn’t tell her right then, in front of everyone (that would be really rude since Shannon wasn’t out to too many it didn’t seem like).  But since everyone also knew she, Mary, was the school’s Romance Expert, it would totally make sense for her to be the one to pull Shannon aside and give her “advice” on what to do (here “advice” meant reveal that the gift had come from her and maybe ask her out).  No one would suspect a thing.  It was the ultimate Romantic Move, made even better by the fact that it would be Mary doing it.

In hindsight, Mary should have considered potential disasters a bit more.

Steve and Eli were making some sort of disturbance out in the hall, which was strange because they’d been getting along recently (also since Steve cleaned up his whole bully act and started to make amends with people).  So everyone was gathered in a crowd and it delayed class.

Then, after breaking up the scene, Miss Janeth started class immediately as everyone filed into the math room.  So, even though Mary got to see Shannon’s eyes widen with surprise at her gift, she couldn’t really talk to her at all about it, and everything now sucked forever.

It was even worse when Mary noticed that, on her own desk, a “Secret Admirer” had put a cute little plushy teddy bear holding a deep violet rose (her ultimate favorite) and a calligraphed card asking her to meet by the soccer field after school.

Great, now some guy was trying to romance her while she was trying to romance Shannon.  Didn’t the universe know she’d made up her mind about the whole “who I’m dating” thing?  Guys were nice and whatever, but they weren’t Shannon.

Drama was so much more fun when it was about someone else.

Mary paced around in front of the goalie box at the end of the field.  Why wouldn’t the guy arrive already?  The sooner he arrived, the sooner she could turn him down, the sooner she could figure out her next step in trying to romance Shannon.  She needed to explain about the gift before someone else took all the credit and—

“Hi, Mary.”

Mary jumped.  Landed awkwardly.  Nearly fell over, but Shannon helped her catch her balance.

“Oh, um, hi.  Hi, Shannon.  What are you doing here?  Shouldn’t you be going home or something.”  Oh wait, it was Thursday,  Shannon had Book Club, so of course she’d still be here.  “Or in the library or…” Mary’s brain refused to slow down.  Why did it always have to get nervously excited around Shannon now.  Why, brain, why?

Shannon looked nervous herself.  “I, um, I asked you to meet me here?  In the card?  The gift in Miss Janeth’s class—”

“THAT WAS FROM ME, IF SOMEONE ELSE TOLD YOU OTHERWISE THEY’RE LYING!”  Mary slapped her hands over her mouth.  Classy.  Real classy.  “I…did you like it?  The flowers?”

“…yes.”  Shannon took the flowers out from the pocket of her backpack where she’d carefully stored them.  “These were from you?”

Mary could feel the blush burning her cheeks.  “Yes.  I…I, um, well, I…you’re really cute when you scrunch up your nose when you laugh at something funny and, um, I like you.  Like, like like you I think.  Not the friend like.  The other kind of like.  You know, like like.”  She took a deep breath.  This was stupid.  Why was she so awkward?  She was the Dating Expert.  She should be suave.  Sure of herself.  She’d never felt like this around any of the guys.  Finally something else dawned on Mary.  “Wait.  If those weren’t what you’re were talking about, then what…?”

Now, it was Shannon’s turn to blush awkwardly, which was oddly reassuring.  At least neither of them were being super great about this.  “I sorta got that teddy bear and the rose for you?  Cause I’ve sorta had the biggest crush on you since, well, for a while.  And I figured now that you know I like girls, I could maybe see if you wanted to go out?  But I was super nervous so I asked Steve and Eli to cause a distraction so I could sneak in and leave them for you.”  Shannon looked down at her hands and then back up at Mary.  “So, do you?  Want to go out with me, I mean?  It’s ok if you don’t want to, I get it.  I—”

“YES!”  Mary jumped.  Then laughed.  She’d given up all hope of being cool and she didn’t care who saw her honestly.  Even if none of this had gone according to her plan, it was still what she wanted.  She took a deep breath to collect herself.  “I would like that, like a lot.”  She bit her lip.  “But I don’t really know what I am yet.  I just figured out that I like you and I want to go out with you.  Like a lot.  But also there were all the guys, so I don’t know if I’m a lesbian or not yet.”

“That’s ok.”  Shannon smiled at her.  “You have time to figure you out.  Or we could figure it out together, if you’d like?”

“I’d like that too.”  Mary wrapped an arm around Shannon’s shoulders.  “So I know a great cafe we could go to or we could see what movies are playing?  That is, if you’re ok with missing Book Club?”  She stopped.  “Or we could go to your Book Club?”  Sure her reputation may take a hit going someplace so nerdy but whatever, there were more important things.

“I’ll be happy so long as we do whatever, we do together.”

That was the best thing Mary had heard all day.  The rest of the afternoon, and the future, was ahead of them and they could spend it having as much fun as they wanted.  Together.

[deadkripke]

it’s @gaydean‘s freakin’ birthday!!! what! anyway, here’s an unrelated fic about dean winchester having a pretty good birthday.

There’s an ache along his joints as Dean realises he slept weirdly last night. Beyond that, his gut feels low and heavy, his mind sluggish, and he knows today’s something significant in any other life but a hunter’s.

Oh yeah. It’s his birthday today.

He normally lets himself sleep in on birthdays, especially with a lack of apocalypses to avert, but he can’t bring himself to. It feels somedays like he’ll sink right through the mattress into his grave. Hardly a fitting end for a Winchester.

He gets up, brushes his teeth (god, dentures? Is that in his future?) and pulls at his face, looking for an expression that could describe it. Weathered. Lined. Dying.

He stumbles into the kitchen and puts on a pot of joe, not even treating himself to anything fancy. Plus, that whole bag is Sammy anyway.  He’s pouring probably more sugar than he should into his mug when, think of the devil, Sam appears in jogging gear and freezes at the sight of Dean.

“Shit,” he hisses.

“Mornin’, Sam.”

“Why are you up? You’re never up this early, Dean!”

“I… was done sleeping?”

“I was meant to surprise you, idiot.”

“Happy birthday to me, I guess,” Dean snorts, almost blowing his hot coffee into his face.

Sam sits opposite him, stinking like a wet dog, god love ‘im, and gives Dean one of his Soulful Looks. “Seriously, though, Dean. Happy birthday.”

“Yippee,” Dean deadpans.

“I can make lunch?”

“You? Pretty sure you’d burn salad, Sammy, and I am not letting you near the spice rack after last time.”

“Paprika and cayenne pepper look exactly alike!”

“This is what I mean, careless.”

Sam harrumphs and crosses his arms, like they aren’t both a while away from thirty.

“We got any beer?”

“Running low,” Sam says, checking the fridge, “Hate to ask the birthday boy, but- ”

“Nah, I was thinking of going for a drive anyway. We low on anything else?”

“Is the meat locker stacked?” Dean laughs and Sam sighs. “How are you still so immature.”

“Young at heart, man,” Dean grins and picks up his keys. “Don’t throw any ragers while I’m gone.”

At the store, Dean finds himself staring at birthday cards. It’s unfair that once you hit eleven you don’t get cool cards. He sorta missed out on those years. Oh wait, is that Dilbert?

He chuckles until he notices two kids staring at him; snot-nosed and floppy-haired, potentially as mean as he was at their age, when he was still fixated on proving himself to a dad that wasn’t really there. He puts the card down and pulls himself together, his basket tapping against his thigh.

He picks up two cases of Corona (Cas’s favourite for some reason), and a bunch of lime just in case. As he’s heading over to checkout he notices pie. And it’s on sale. He places it carefully on top of his alcohol.

The cashier is barely legal, long hair tucked into a ponytail out of her face. He feels the lack of reaction and manages to avoid the creep factor since she’s probably around Claire’s age. He’s got nothin’, even if twenty years ago he’d’ve pulled out a cheap line and eaten her out in the stockroom. Instead his mind wanders to Cas grumpily looking for the remote last week when he was sitting on it the whole time. He feels himself smile.

“Havin’ a party, huh?” the cashier smirks, glancing at his purchases. He feels judged.

“It’s, uh, my birthday.” What? Idiot.

She smiles, wide and genuine. “Hey, man, happy birthday! My dad’s birthday was last week.”

He smiles back as she rings him up. “What’d you get him?”

“On this salary? Old man got a tie,” she whispers conspiratorially as he hands over his loyalty card.

“I’m sure he loved it,” he says, maybe a little too sincere. When he rolls his stuff away, she gives him a little wave and he feels… okay.

When he gets home, he feels strange.

“Sam?” he calls out. No answer.

He takes his goodies up and hears music playing faintly. Is that Zeppelin? He follows the sound, up winding steps and out the other side, towards Cas’s garden. When he pushes open the door-

“AYYY, DEAN!” Claire and Alex cheer, the smell of spice and meat in the air. They crowd him and give him a hug before leading him further outside. Mary frowns at the grill (when’d they get that old thing working?), Donna fusses with arranging a feast of baked goods while Jody smiles at her fondly, and Sam mixes drinks while Cas places napkins down. At the noise, he looks up at Dean and smiles, big and gummy, the goof.

Everyone fusses over him but get at his stash quickly. They eat, they drink (except for Alex and Claire who are on a strict two-drink max), Jody and Donna get a little handsy, Mary dozes off, and Sam plays card games with the girls.

Dean and Cas sit in mismatched lawn chairs watching the sun go down, bellies full and a little tipsy. Dean has Cas’s hand in his own, tracing over Jimmy’s old love line. Dean pulls Cas’s hand up and kisses his knuckles, unable to look over at the most likely soft and fond look on his face.

“Do you like your present?” Cas asks, his voice low and rough.

Dean looks over at the pile; Jody and Donna got him a pair of NERF guns which he is definitely gonna torture Sam with. Claire got him a desk mini-golf set ‘for practice’, the little shit. Alex got him some comic books about vampires which is kinda cool. Sam got him socks, oil for the impala, and a box of power bars. Traditions die hard, Dean supposes.

Cas got him a weird amulet, with a bright blue crystal. It’s about as big as his God-seeking gift from Sam from all those birthdays ago, but Cas assures him it’s a protection spell that he cast himself. Dean’s sure if he could see Castiel’s massive wings, they’d be fluffing themselves in pride.

Dean leans over and kisses Cas on his temple, bowing their heads together. They stay in the soft space between their lips and Dean sighs. “Honestly, thought you’d be smarter and go the birthday sex route.”

“I still technically could,” Cas says, half leer, half reverent. Dean grins and pulls him away to their - their - bedroom.

As Dean stares at the ceiling, sweaty and fucked out of his mind, Cas traces the freckles on Dean’s face. Dean presses quick kisses to those questing fingers, and sighs.

“Good day?” Cas asks, nonchalant though he knows how Dean feels about this kind of thing. Considering their lives, how often he has actually died already, and sheer bad Winchester luck, he simply never thought he’d get this far.

He looks over at Cas, the freakin’ love of his life, belly full of BBQ and beer, safe in his home with the people he loves, and it’s more than he ever dreamed of having.

“Yeah, Cas. Good day,” he says, curling an arm over Cas and falling asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.

[01littleunicorn]

For the writing prompts 8 U for graybin Please ♥ (am I abusing the fact you told me u could request more than once? Definitely yes)

Hey there!! Not abusing don’t worry, I’m always happy to write for you ^^

For explanation, the lovely person up there is my bff hence why I made an exception to the ‘’only Awakening/Fates’’ rule. She knows exactly where I am in the game and therefore knew not to ask for things happening in the later parts of the story.

Anyway first time writing for Echoes’s characters! Tobin and Gray are two of my favorites so I hope I did them justice ^^’’

8. ‘’I just want to sleep’’

U. Quiet Campsite

Pairings: Gray/Tobin

No warnings, possible spoilers if you haven’t played the game ^^

Enjoy!

The fire had finally diedout and even the remaining ashes were now running cold. A heavy silence was reigningon the campsite, with the exception of the occasional snore coming from one ofthe soldiers. The moon was high in the sky and everyone seemed to be sleeping.

Well, almosteveryone… For what felt like the thousandth time, Tobin turned around on hismakeshift bed, trying to fall asleep.

Tomorrow would be abig day. The Deliverance was going to walk on the Sluice Gate to defeat one ofDuma’s faithful and free Luthier’s sister, Delthea. The fight ahead was notgoing to be an easy one, as those arcanists from Rigel were known to be bothpowerful and vicious, but Alm refused to abandon the young mage to her fate,despite the overwhelming odds.

Coming from a largefamily, Tobin had instantly related to Luthier’s plea to save his sister. Ifany of his siblings had found their way into that kind of danger, the archerwould have begged anyone to help him rescue them. Though, living in Ram village,the dangers he would’ve had to face would’ve been more along the line ofpredators from the woods or the occasional brigands.

In any case, he wasglad Alm had agreed to help save Luthier’s sister, no matter what other membersof the Deliverance might have to say about this decision. Somehow, it remindedTobin that his friend was still the simple man he remembered from hischildhood, even though he was changing more and more into a true militaryleader.

Their battle atDesaix’s fortress remained fresh in his mind and he clearly remembered theevent that took place there. Most of them were too busy celebrating Mathilda’srescue and their victory over Zofia’s traitor to notice, but he had been therewhen Alm found the treasure residing in the general’s vault. 

The sword was beautifullydecorated and automatically caught Tobin’s eyes. However, no matter how hard hetried, the archer was unable to pick it up. Though he might not be as strong asAlm or, even if it pained him to admit it, Gray, he stillknew his way around a sword. And this one was impossible to lift. Yet, Alm thencame and took it like it was the easiest thing to do. While Tobin might not bethe smartest guy around, it was pretty obvious to him that if you can wield aweapon that legends say no one else can lift, that must mean something!

The regal weapon wasnow sitting at Alm’s side like it was the most normal thing in the world, yet hisfriend refused to talk about it to anyone. Both him and Lukas hadn’t uttered aword on the subject, even to Clive, and the archer couldn’t figure out why. Whydid Alm choose to just dismiss this event as if it was nothing? What made himnot mention it to at least his friends?

Tobin didn’t knowmuch about war and strategy and stuff, but something did not sit right withthis situation and he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

With a sigh, thearcher closed his eyes again, trying once more to find some semblance of sleep,when a ruffle nearby caught his attention.

- Pssst… hey…Tobin… psst!

Recognizing the voiceof the annoying mercenary, Tobin simply rolled his eyes, attempting to ignorehis friend by pretending to be asleep. That was counting without Gray’sdetermination.

- Tobin…..Tooooobiiiiiiin…. pssst!!!

Fearing that theother man’s loud whispers would wake up the entire camp, the archer finallylooked at him with an annoyed face.

- Shut up Gray! Ijust want to sleep…

He didn’t truly thinkthis would be enough to really silence the mercenary and the latter proved himright by simply smiling at the exclamation and answering jokingly.

- Bah, you can sleepwhen you’re dead!

Even though he knewthis was just a jest, Tobin did not find it funny and simply responded with adisapproving look.

They were at war anddeath was following them at every step. It could come for any of them, at anytime, and every battle was a new wager with the reaper. Tobin was always afraidthe next fight would be his last, a fear Gray didn’t seem to share with all hisjoking and boasting around.

The mercenary justheld up his hands and simply added apologetically.

- Sorry, sorry… butstill, you must have a bit of time to spare for good ol’ Gray?

Technically speaking,Tobin would have been better off sleeping to regain his strength for tomorrow. Realisticallythough, he doubted he would ever manage to fall asleep any way and was somewhatcurious about what Gray wanted to talk about.

- Fine… what do youwant then?

The other man smiledat his capitulation and proceeded to bring his own makeshift bed closer. However,he sported a more serious look when he whispered to Tobin again.

- I wanted to askabout Alm… I mean… don’t you think he’s been changing recently?

The question didn’tsurprise Tobin that much and it took him back to his recent thoughts. Heanswered with a sigh.

- Of course, he’sbeen changing… but, honestly, everything keeps changing since we left Ramvillage! I barely recognize myself sometimes. Alm is just… more affected Iguess.

He didn’t want tobring too much on the subject. Whatever Alm’s reasons were for keeping secrets,they were his own and Tobin would respect that.

As for Gray, he seemedto think about it for a few seconds more, before adding.

- Yeah, maybe… Imean he’s always been kinda… different, I guess? You know, like he didn’tbelong at the village with the rest of us… I suppose it’s normal he found hisplace here, among all the knights and noble warriors. They’re more his pace, ifyou know what I mean…

There was truth inGray’s words and Tobin had to admit it. While they all had come a long way, Almhad always been the one standing out, much to the archer’s desperation. Alwaysthe brave and strong hero, it wasn’t much of a surprise that he seemed to befitting in his new leader role quite this easily. Maybe it was just his fate,who knows?

- Still, sometimes itfeels like he’s slowly leaving us behind to live this big hero life! He couldat least save some of the glory for his ol’ friends, you know.

Gray had added thatlast part with a wink, making Tobin roll his eyes once more. Gray was often goingon and on about that whole glory thing and the archer knew that was a big partof why he joined the Deliverance in the first place. It wasn’t that Tobindidn’t care about being recognized as a hero, but his main focus had alwaysbeen to bring money back for his family. The fame and glory would just be abonus… if he survived, that is.

- Say Tobe… what doyou think the future will be like for us?

His friend’s voicebrought Tobin out of his thoughts, making him reflect on the question. Truth betold, the archer hated thinking about the future. With every step, they seemedto get more and more involved in a situation that surpassed him and he dreadedwhat was coming on the horizon.

He sighed, turning onhis back to look at the sky.

- I don’t know…Heck! I don’t even know what tomorrow will look like… But, I guess, if I’mstill alive after all this, I would go back to Ram village to help my family onthe farm.

That was the planafter all. Go out there, fight to earn gold and bring it back to his family. Itseemed so simple back then.

Gray looked surprisedby his answer and he added, with an inquiring look.

- Really, that’s all?Is that really what you want Tobin?

There was a rareserious tone in his voice and Tobin was taken aback by the question. What elsewas there to want after all?

- Well… yeah Iguess…

But he wasn’t so sureanymore. Trying to ignore those new uncertainties, he turned his attention backto Gray.

- What about you? Anygreat plans for the future?

The reaction wasimmediate for the mercenary who responded, with a huge smile.

- Easy! I’ll marryClair and we will settle down and have lots of little Grays running around.Maybe I’ll even name one after you, Tobe!

As the darker skinnedman started to chuckle at what he probably considered a hilarious joke, Tobinsimply sighed.

Of course, Clair wasalways the answer. Ever since the young woman had rejoined the Deliverance, shewas practically all the two guys ever talked about. How beautiful she was andwho would win her heart. Tobin had to admit he didn’t have much hope for thatlast part though. If Clair was always chastising Gray about his flirtinghabits, she was at least talking to the mercenary. Beside a salutation duringtheir first meeting, Tobin had never managed to exchange anything more with thePegasus Knight, making his chances even slimmer than the laughing man’s besidehim.

Yes, Clair wasgorgeous, strong… and completely out of his league. He should just give up atthis point.

- Sure… well, Iwish you the best luck then mate… Make sure she doesn’t kill you before sayingyes…

He thought hisattempt at a joke would be enough to stop his friend from prying forward, butGray’s laugh died out almost instantly as he looked at Tobin with concern.

- Since when are youso okay with Clair and I? I mean, I know we agreed not to fight over it but…I mean, I thought you would still wanna have a chance, no?

Being a competitive man,Tobin had always strived to beat Alm or Gray at anything. Yet, he also knew hehad to choose his battles and that was a fight he had already lost.

- What chance? Shedoesn’t even look at me. Compared to Alm, or even you, I have no way of everwinning her heart. She’s a sophisticated noble; I’m a lowly commoner… that’swhat it is.

He then turned tosmile dryly at Gray.

- But don’t let thatstop you from trying for what you really want. Maybe, miracles can come true.

He added that last partmostly as a jape, although the mercenary didn’t seem to catch it. Looking atthe sky and nibbling on his bottom lip, Gray was obviously lost in thoughts andTobin had to call him twice before he responded to his name, with a bashfulsmile.

- Sorry, I was justthinking….

The need to tease wastoo strong to resist.

- I saw that and itlooked hard to do…

- Oh! shut up Tobin!

The archer simplychuckled at the mercenary’s exclamation before asking, more seriously.

- Nah, but really,what’s troubling you? Isn’t marrying Clair your dream?

Gray simply sighed,seemingly searching for his words, before answering.

- Sure… but,like… maybe that’s all it is. A dream, I mean…

He then turned backto look at the sky as he added.

- This journey’salready crazier than what I could’ve ever imagined, yet… I don’t know, maybeI just enjoy dreaming too big…

Somehow, Gray’s wordsfelt really relatable and Tobin could only nod in agreement, whispering back.

- Yeah… I know thatfeeling.

For a moment, the twoboys fell in a comfortable silence, with only the stillness of the nightsurrounding them. In this restful atmosphere, Tobin could feel his eyes closingas he yawned silently, slowly falling asleep.

- Say, Tobin…

Gray’s voice wakedhim up from his sleepy state and he turned his attention back to his friend.

- Hum?

- No matter whathappens tomorrow, or even later… we will always stay together, right?

There was a reallyserious tone in his voice, one Tobin didn’t hear often, and almost a hint ofworry. Gray sounded truly afraid that he might lose him someday and Tobin suddenlyrealised he seemed to be sharing the same fears. At the thought of losing the mercenary;of not seeing him again; of not hearing his dumb jokes once more, the archercould feel a void in his heart and blaming it on their long lasting friendshipdidn’t feel quite right.

But that was too muchthinking for this time at night.

- Of course… westarted this together and we’ll finish it together.

And, with a smile, hejokingly added.

- Besides, no matterhow hard I try, I could never get rid of you anyway.

- Hey!

The exclamation was accompaniedby a playful hit on the shoulder, as both boys started laughing loudly, tryingto stifle it enough to avoid waking their fellow soldiers.

They were both still smilingwhen Gray put his hand on the archer’s shoulder, adding with a familiar smirk.

- And, you know, lifewould be quite boring without you, my Tobi-poo!

The possessive use ofthat appellation and the gesture were enough to make Tobin blush slightly, but hesimply responded with an audible grunt.

- Aw…come on, youknow I hate that nickname.

Gray smirks just grewbigger as he winked at him.

- Oh! I know…

Then, with a yawn anda large grin, the mercenary lay down on his bed, whispering.

- Well… good-nightTobi-poo!

Remaining annoyed by theuse of the ridiculous pet name, Tobin barely answered before lying down again, hopingto be able to fall asleep this time.

But he already knewthis was a lost cause. As he closed his eyes, Tobin could still feel the heaton his face and, in the midst of all his swirling thoughts, all he could seemto think about was Gray, with his loud laugh and his dumb grin…

Damn it!

[simptasia]

Lost coffee shop au?

i find coffee shop aus to be boring but i’ll try. thinking… thinking…

Oceanic Organic Cuppas (claire came up with the name, the menu has an all natural hippie vibe to it). gee a lot of people work here. this place is barely scraping by and it doesn’t have a consistent aesthetic but they’re doing their best. jack is the manager, 3 days without an emotional breakdown is his new record. everybody loves him anyway. as you can imagine, many of ‘em alternate being baristas. kate and claire man the till  and drink dispensers more often, using teamwork. if you show up when boone and shannon are doing their shift, ur order is gonna be wrong. sometimes on purpose. sun runs a garden on the roof to grow things that go into the cookies and cakes. hurley cooks/bakes these treats. sayid does the technical stuff. jin just wanted to be there to be with his wife, so he’s a waiter. sawyer doesn’t fucking do anything but read and make remarks (”dude, you work here too”). what does locke do here? nobody knows but he knows some shit. he really adds to the mystic vibe around here. charlie put ur fucking guitar away and wash the mugs. (”the customers like it!” “then you can play when we actually have customers. and for the love of god, put some socks on”) michael drew most the art on the walls and he’ll happily sell any you want- all right, have a good day. also walt is with him because he couldn’t afford a sitter. vincent is a secret in the basement, jack would lose his shit if he knew there was a dog in this place. claire gave birth to aaron in the bathroom. rose is also here, as i said they all take turns being baristas. her husband bernard brought along some new hires, ana lucia, eko and libby but they didn’t last long. jack you have too many employees this is a terrible business model

next door is the Kahuna Kafe,the coffee is great but most the staff are assholes. gault is the manager but he barely talks to anyone so naomi is pretty much in charge. miles just wants the paycheck. charlotte has a short-fuse but wants to keep her job so she doesn’t lash out at the customers. instead she rants at full steam later to miles n dan in the breakroom. its how she gets thru the day. that and dan’s presence makes her feel better. dan is only here because his mom insisted he get a job (because music isn’t a “real” job) so he’s trying this out. frank is frank, but in a coffee shop. keamy is an asshole who’s only here because it’s the only legal work he could get. he’s not allowed near customers anymore. the people at oceanic didn’t trust these new guys next door for a while but eventually grew fond of at least dan, miles, char and frank. and now they’re all amicle neighbours. besides they’re not the Real Enemy,

oceanic’s rivals across the street are Otherton™ Coffee (whom bought out The Dharma Chill Lounge years ago), one of many ventures started by mysterious and shady businessman only known as Jacob. and yes, the tm always goes after Otherton™ because they’re the starbucks of this world. looks pretty but it feels fake and over done, like it’s trying hard to be wholesome but it’s just superficial. It’s So Fucking Yellow. also the coffee/food is bland and terrible. everybody, staff and customers, feels at least slight uncomfortable but the business keeps going. nobody says anything. ben is the manager and everybody fucking hates him except for his vice manager Richard who kinda pities him. tom and ethan are “nice” but shady. this place is a front, i just know it. alex and karl are just here to get job experience on their resume, trying to ignore how weird it is. juliet’s fake smile and barista voice is something to be feared. she hates this job so much and wishes her boss would stop fucking hitting on her. next chance she gets she’s gonna quit and try that nice coffee shop across the street who seem to hire literally anyone no matter how fucked up and sad

desmond isn’t a part of any one faction in lost, so to fit that he keeps changing jobs until he settles with our oceanic guys. penny doesn’t work at any of these places, just a customer. goes to oceanic sometimes to support her husband, goes to kahuna sometimes to support her little brother. charles suggests she go to otherton™ but she refuses

i think i’m out of coffee shop headcanons but that was a lot anyways. rest assured that as befitting this genre, this would also contain lots of romance, pining, slow-burn and a romeo & juliet situation. of course, coffee shop aus don’t normally have 4 billion characters but whatever

so help me, i could translate the entire plot of lost into a coffee shop au if i wanted to. but i don’t. i hope what i’ve written here is suitably entertaining

[therewas-a-girl]

you know how Frank heals so fast from injuries that he really shouldn’t humanly heal from? (i mean we dont really have a good perception of time  - at least i didn’t  - as i watched the series so i dont know for how long he was in convalescence) 

well, i am headcanoning that Frank has this mutant gene that allows him to actually heal faster. It’s not like, super overt - it’s just that he has a faster metabolism than normal people... or something. (since i vaguely am aware that marvel heroes and mutants from the X-men movies live in teh same universe - kinda. so mutants here exist, but they’re not OUT THERE yet. nobody knows that mutants exist yet, right, we’re at the beginning stages of this) (also i dont read comics so i dont know how this goes in comics, so plz excuse any gaffes here). 

SO - this is the wish-fulfillment part. ITS GENETIC, right, so guess who else has it??? LISA! 

Yeah, except hers is not slight and subtle like Frank’s, hers is full on Claire-Bennet-from-Heroes type thing!!!! Rapid cell regeneration, which makes her liable to heal from practically any injury at all. With limitations, like - she cant heal around foreign objects and stuff, but still - 

In one incident, [Claire]  was clinically dead for hours, only to revive when the tree branch that killed her was removed. Her healing powers restored her to health despite the destructive biological processes that happen to bodies immediately upon severe trauma or death

So now im thinking, combine the whole plot of the T.P. with another branch of the government that knows these kids exist and that practically snatch them up and test their powers and stuff. (I admit, i just saw Stranger Things, so yeah that also led me to this line of thought.) But the bottom line is, Lisa lives, because she can, even though she was shot in the head - also keeping in line with canon there that there is no possible way for Frank to know that she could have survived that.  And she ends up in this facility where there are lots of other kids there and they’re practically being studied. 

But this like all other nefarious plots is discovered. So the defenders or whoever else gets together and they break into that place and help those kids out. And maybe they even blow it wide open and at one point i imagined a trial going on because there was actual human rights violations committed and it becomes this really huge thing. Now, most of these kids dont remember who they are, and theyre not in the system,  right, so its hard to ID them, and they havent released the pictures cause they’re minors and all that. But as their lawyer, Foggy would have access, because maybe Foggy takes the case to fight for these kids, and maybe he asks Matt for help. And maybe Frank ends up seeing these pictures, cause maybe he might even be sneaking into Foggy’s apartment to do that, so that he knows who the fuckers who hurt these kids are so that he can end this his way. 

.... and there it is. His daughter’s face. She looks different, with her head shaved and pale and angry, but she’s looking back at him with eyes he immediately recognizes and it’s like a kick in the chest. She stares back at him from a page, lips thin and chin jutting out, angry like shes never seen her in his life, but it’s her.  

She’s there. Her head shaved and a file with her name and numbers and she’s there. so of course he almost has a heart attack. 

And that’s how Foggy finds him, and then it’s this huge big emotional mess and he goes to see her and its even more of a mess. cause, maybe she remembers her life before, maybe she does not - cause, you know, head shot - destroyed tissue and all that. lost memories make sense. but apparently rapid cell regeneration means that 

this power has the capability to reverse memory damage caused by the Haitian. However, unlike most instances of the ability's usage, memory damage reversal requires active concentration

So you have the plot of her and frank reconnecting. Or maybe they dissapear entirely, he just takes her and goes totally off the grid. Or maybe she doesnt want to go! Maybe she remembers him immediately the very second she sees him and runs at him this time too, saying ‘i knew it. i knew it.’ because daddy is a superhero and superheroes don’t die, do they. or maybe they get to frank immediately because she remembered all of it all along and when they were in there, Lisa knew who she was exactly and she talked everyone’s ear off - like Frank did with his unit - about how her daddy was going to find them, and that he was going to save them. 

Maybe that’s how the kid who escaped knew where to go - and went to Frank. Because Lisa wouldn't shut up about him.