#that i am most certainly fucking bonkers

[asgardian--angels]

anyway seeing people on iwtvtwt being legitimately upset/put off by the previews for ep 7 baffle me, im looking around the room like i thought we were all here to revel in this fucked up vampire love story which is, and I cannot stress enough, fucked up

I mean I'm obviously not seeing this from book fans but, it just is wild to me that show-only fans are somehow having a moment of 'whoa this is so messed up are they really going to xyz? I don't know if I can handle this' or even that they aren't going to watch it

did you miss the part where lestat literally dragged louis by the jaw in a trail of blood down the alleyway, or when lestat stone cold threatened to grind claudia's bones into dust if she didn't get back in her cage for louis's so-called happiness, or any number of the other pretty fucked up stuff in s1? let alone the very bonkers messed up stuff in the books? I just. We literally already had a scene in s2 where Louis hallucinates Lestat telling Louis to kill him because that's the only way Louis knows how to love, followed by Louis actually smashing his skull over and over against a stone wall only to realize he killed a random innocent person instead. That kind of fucked up is the expectation for this season.

Look, eps 7-8 are going to be intense, but still well within the realm of what's established in the show and certainly within the wide wide realm of the anne rice books. The show goes some very dark places emotionally and physically, and that's critical to the point of the show itself. Will it be tragic, and unfair, and brutal? Absolutely, as it was in the book. We cannot stop that Titanic from hitting the iceberg - Claudia will die and we cannot prevent it, but Armand could have and did not. There will be senseless cruelty, and mind games, and dark acts of rage and revenge. This is gothic horror and gothic romance, and I just don't think anyone should be genuinely surprised by what that entails.

Most of all, I just absolutely do not want to see any negativity towards the show after this episode, any 'how could you's or 'this was sick and disgusting' or animosity towards writers, cast, crew, etc. Do Not. This is not the show to be asking for, or expecting, violence or tragedy to be toned down, or major plot points like Claudia's death to be somehow changed. You do not need to have read the books to love this show, but it is imperative to acknowledge the show echoes the books in both content and tone, and that it does not shy away from those dark venturings is a hallmark of an excellent adaptation of an iconic series.

Anyways I am kind of apprehensive of going on Twitter after this episode, because I just want to revel in my feelings and not have to deal with or even think about other people's myopic grievances. This episode is going to make me lose my mind in the best of ways, and the more fucked up it is, the better. I want to see everything unravel, I want to see things in the present day come to a head, I want to see Lestat being made to condemn his sister-daughter to death, I want to feel Louis's sorrow and helplessness and rage when he cannot save her. Let's just have a good time, alright? We're not here because we want a happy show where everyone turns out alright in the end, we want a story that is compelling and complex and tragic and reflective.

basically everytime i see these twitter opinions i just remember jacob anderson in full burnt prosthetics singing jones barbecue and foot massage

[delphientropy]

please read our DNI before interacting. thank you!

actually, i honestly wanted to talk about our innerworld and system functions in general for a while. so im gonna talk about my system experiences for once i guess

for as long as we realized we were a system (which must have been around a year or less now) we always doubted ourself because our system was just... weird. thats why i never talked about it. i was very afraid of being fakeclaimed.

we do split from stress and trauma, and some of us do have jobs, but oddly, so many of us dont have any jobs at all. it seems like i, the host, do almost everything and am the sole provider of the system, and if i went dormant, everything would probably just collapse.

our innerworld is SO fucking weird. we have no idea whwere our dormant alters go- or most alters, really, because not that many alters have any access or memory of any innerworld. the sections in the innerworld are categorized by source (oddly, source plays a huge part in our system functioning for whatever reason), and even then its all so fuzzy and messy and off.

it all looks like the incomplete worldbuilding of a kid. loopholes, unanswered questions, random splits and no roles, nothing is organized and everything is chaos- bad memory, basically only one alter is doing everything ever and hes fucking stressing out (and nothing we can do about it because he cant voluntarily leave), random islands in fucking space— what about the oxygen? it really just screams made up fantasy world some child made. like our entire system is run by some small imaginative kid whos obsession for fiction and fantasy and chaos and yet also control while being disorganized.

ive been told many times that our coping mechanism is to avoid. forget. distract. comfort. thats why we have a MILLION fictives. its like a machine in the back of our mind, always humming, always making more fragments that act like characters we know and find comfort in. nah they dont have a role theyre just. there. it doesn't make sense. theres no gatekeepers, rarely protectors, just fictives. fictives with no roles just fictives and fictives and more fictives. one day itll work. every problem will go away if we just make more fictives, the machine whispers. if we just have more comfort, all of it.

i guess it all ties into our kind of trauma and our other disorders which cause chaos and disarray. everything is unexplained. the random pain. dormancy. the entire innerworld itself. its seems complex and structured on the outside, and it sure is creative, but theres no structure. its a kid throwing multiple concepts together to make a really dumb world and a dumb story with it.

if i could make it organized and make it function, i would, but i can barely see it. i cant make up shit and suddenly our brain functions normally. i cant pretend like our innerworld doesnt have patches and holes and never answered questions. i cant trust anything and suddenly it all works. thats why i dont like a lot of the advice im given. "just trust that your alters wont fuck it up and youll switch more!" i do trust them. there are some i trust with my entire being. but i just cant switch. it wont let me leave. im that inner childs favorite character, favorite doll, that needs to be out of the toybox at all times.

im so scared to try and get diagnosed or just any kind of help. because im sure i sound absolutely bonkers when you read all of this. but its a frustratingly bad functioning system. and currently, the only option i have is to just stay in front and do everything. i initially thought i had PDID for this reason, actually. im like the ""main alter"" but i certainly dont have any control over our world. i dont know what to do. and with how therapists keep abandoning me, i wish i could just heal and figure it out by myself. but i cant.

[cyberdragoninfinity]

saw your arc-v livepostings on twitter n' your z-one/aporia posts and now i really wanna get into the show and into ygo in general. do you have any recommendations on where to start so that it won't be too confusing for a poor sap such as i if you can? please and thank you (:

WAHHH IM HONORED THAT MY SILLY POSTING HAS INSPIRED YA TO CHECK OUT YUGIOH!! ;w;

yugioh really is something truly special and an absolute blast to really dig into, but it IS a very big franchise.... forgive me for being a bit inexperienced at giving recommendations, but I shall do my best!! here's some pointers that I think could be helpful if ya wanna get into the show(s) (not getting into the mangas too much on this, for the sake of brevity LOL) (the spinoff mangas are fun reads, though!)

ok so the thing with yugioh is there are Eight Different 'Main' Yugioh Series (and a few little stray other series but we ain talkin bout those right now)--my recommendations are focusing on the first five series, since those the ones i've seen (though ive heard glowing reviews for VRAINS and Sevens and you could certainly go check either of those out if you wanted to! You don't really need to know anything about the plots of the other series to follow those stories)

as a yugioh fan i am of course obligated to recommend Duel Monsters as a starter. It's the OG, just absolute Yugioh at its most tried and true Yugioh, it Is that good, the dub and sub are both classics--but IF i am being my most honest true self, if my arc-v postin and zoneporia chattering have got ya ygo hooked then I would recc maybe taking a gander at one of the spinoff series first instead ;3

(In general what's cool about yugioh is you can basically pick up any of the series as your 'first' ygo experience to start with and have a great time with it! I know tons of people who've all started with different series/only are invested in 1-2 series,Theyre all made to be their own self-contained plots, and there's really something for everyone among 'em! you could honestly just read wiki blurbs on each series and go with whatever one sounds most interesting to you, and that's a fine start right there.) (though sometimes youll see characters from one series show up in another one, the Entire Storyline isnt Hinged on that--i.e. a bunch of alternate version GX/5D's/Zexal characters show up in ARC-V, but you dont need to have seen all those series to watch arc-v or follow its plot.) also idgaf what anyone says, the dubs are just as wonderful a watch as the subs are when it comes to ygos--you have to deal with some scene censorship or dialogue changes, but to me it doesn't really impede the experience. (in fact I almost want to recommend the dubs MORE for someone just starting to get into yugioh--it can be easier to follow the duels sometimes. AND a lot of the dubs are free on Youtube!!)

ANYWAY Z-one and Aporia are from Yugioh 5D's!! The, Last twenty episodes or so. Of 5D's. 🥴 <--the suffering nicherfaverrrr. So if you want to meet them properly you Do unfortunately have to be in for the long haul (i am of course biased and will say: Worth It.) 5D's is all around fantastic though; it has its slow spots, but the duels get crazy fun on those damn motorcycles, so even if you do buckle in for the All of It you'll have a good time--there are some chunks in the second half of the show that never got dubbed though (sad!) which is just something to keep in mind.

RE: Arc-V! since youve seen me tweetin about it, I will say, the first 50 episodes or so of it, that first season, does make for a really great crash course intro to yugioh and its worlds/how dueling works, since it touches upon all the main types of summoning as part of its plot, and talks about how they work. You get to learn about them as the characters do, which is really cool! My main hesitance from suggesting it 100% as a starter series is that it gets. fucking Bonkers. like characters from the other series showing up aside there is just So Much Going On in Arc-V At Any Given Point. IT CAN BE A BIT OVERWHELMING. AND APPARENTLY ITS ENDING IS. NOT VERY GOOD. which might not be very fun for a first time ygo experience 😭BUT BY ALL MEANS GIVE IT A WHIRL IF YOU'RE INTERESTED. I'm having fun with it at least, hehehe.

OK HONESTLY. HONESTLY. I think if I have one good recommendation to take away from all of this: watch Zexal. Zexal is a fantastic starter yugioh, I can't recommend giving it a go enough. Yuma as a protagonist starts out dogshit at the game and gets better over the course of the series, and that really helps the viewer follow along with the card game and start to understand it at a nice pace without getting confused over all the finer points of it. It does a really nice job of explaining how things work imo! It's also just, a gorgeous show. It's one of the most beautiful cartoons ive ever seen art direction wise. It's so kind and so fun and goes hard as hell and the characters are so full of love and personality. AND THE WHOLE DUB IS FREE ON YOUTUBE. BTW. BONUS.

THIS ENDED UP SO LONG SORRY tl;dr you can pretty much start with whatever yugioh sounds most interesting to you personally as your first series and you won't be missing any critical lore! Also Zexal is one of the best, consistently good and really easy to pick up. I think if you could only ever watch one yugioh make it that one.

also this is a less a recommendation and more just "little things about watching yugioh to keep in mind" but: don't let the card game aspect intimidate ya too much! the show really does it's best to explain how cards work and keeps it engaging; it's a show geared towards kids so of course it tries to keep things pretty easy to follow along, game-wise (also do not listen to the 'The Duels Arent Important' Crowd they are Wrong. yugioh is a sports anime but the sport is a card game. that's the crux of its storytelling. and it's genuinely really cool!!!) And if you're interested in giving the game itself a whirl, Duel Links is pretty beginner friendly imo!

I HOPE THATS AT LEAST SOMEWHAT HELPFUL the trials and tribulations of recommending where to start with a franchise that boasts some 1000+ episodes across 8 series is mighty but that should give ya some sort of idea!! whatever you end up going with I hope you have a ton of fun! YUGIOHHHH

[randomnameless]

I’m surprised at the amount of billy asks you get. Does it mean that they’re popular? All i know for sure is that they certainly seem to interest a lot of people. And i agree that they really do have the bones for a fascinating character, but the developers couldn’t be bothered to build something from those bones because 1) sim shenanigans, you can’t have your self insert react strongly if you’re meant to project 100% onto them, but billy does have traits that keep getting mentioned by more than one person plus the few actions they do choose and a backstory, which doesn’t seem like cardboard to me imho, but also 2) earl gray, and what invader added is the most damning detail of them all. Or rather, not a detail, but the anchor that sank billy. I know we’re meant to keep flamey and edelgard separate in our minds because edelgard is marketed as a poor sad waifu you must feel compelled to rescue, but it doesn’t erase her actions or flamey. When we have evidence saying that silver snow is meant to be the primary marketed canon route and so much of the conflicts across two games come down to the actions of one person plus a poorly thought out loptous stand in, all it tells me is that the main character was doomed to fail because the developers could not decide how to write a school mystery + romance of the three kingdoms sympathetic to cao cao so they tried to “fix” that or make it “gray” by turning it into a dating sim to artificially raise the emotional stakes. At least to me it says they didn’t have confidence in billy as a main character at all because so much of it hinges on centering edelgard and the players picking faves out of the rest of the cast, and to make it more insulting the compensation is being able to kill billy in the spin off? I myself don’t really have any big faves in the games because i only play them casually and read your blog, but what i do know is that it makes me hate edelgard for essentially being the gravitational center of the games like a narrative black hole and the developers being too cowardly to really cement her as a villain, and it doesn’t make me like warriors either because it doubles down on trying to explain her position instead of telling a story and because shez fans are extremely annoying and rude online, no surprise that many are also edelgard fans.

I'd say it's a cumulation of everything!

I think the fandom (myself included!) might have been a bit harsh on Billy because of their avatar status, even if I still think Rhea's S-support "aloneb4u" is shit and Seteth not giving any fucks about her and centering his support and convos on "we must find her so she will reveal da truth 2 u" is bonkers and both of those instances can't be only attributed to Hresvelg Grey but to "only the player is important", like the theory i came up with the self-insert scissors.

But yeah, I feel like at one point, Supreme Leader hijacked the "main character" or "character at the center of the plot we want to tell" spot, all gravitas went to "can u kill the student who loves u and bear with the sad uwus for the rest of your run ??" instead of, you know, the greater plot Nopes teased us with a Larva vs Sothis that never happened?

I compared FE16's story to many things earlier on, but the general thing is "why are we talking and following the least interesting parts of Fodlan", Supreme Leader's war of unification is meh, bias or no bias, I would have loved to see a War of Heroes game, or even a game set during the Sothis vs Agartha era (or the two why not) - but here we just have Ashnard lite with an uwu glazing, without even tackling a traditional or underlaying issue from the FE series about coexistence between people and acceptance and whatnot.

(the reason why AM is still, imo, a letdown because it ignores the dragon in the room)

What was Billy supposed to be? Supreme Leader's luf interest? A character that can conceptually fall (if they pick Tru Piss) thus can ascend in other routes? A self insert? The character you're supposed to navigate the world with?

I think Billy being a silent protag was a disservice to them - despite all of its faults, Nopes at least gives more light to Billy and it's refreshing, even if the game will never add 1+1 because Hresvelg Grey.

TBH I think Fodlan has its own share of fans being annoying regardless of the character they support - and while Barney is pretty chatty, ultimately Barney is the deviant art OC with two swords because why not, a sekrit past that is never explained and somehow stronger than everyone who is actually as empty as an oyster shell. We don't know what Barney wants, to be a merc? Yeah, but why? Is it because Barney is searching for somewhere to belong - just like Billy in a way - ?

As for the cardboard mention, it's most likely again in relation to Hresvelg Grey and Fe Fodlan's writing - the games don't spend enough time to build a sense of friendship and camaraderie between the cast to make the "betrayal" hurt or even the "y must we kill people we knew :'( " meaningful, so we only have the "wah sensei why didn't you pick me :(" or the general "i'm sad to fight against you" but like, mate, who are you? Why are you lamenting having to fight against Billy - someone who is opposing/invading your country and everything you stand for - like Billy and 12 months in Rhea's rocky mansion meant so much to you, much more than the 17 years of life (with acquaintances, friends, family, etc) you had?

But it's also in relation to Hresvelg Grey and the silent protag - why no one can give a reason - save for Supreme Leader "lizards BaD + MAGA" - to join this route, heck, not even Billy can say why they joined this route...

In French we have a saying that goes "comparaison n'est pas raison" more or less meaning you can't always compare things bcs context and all, but after TS's protag Serenor - who also has Gary Stu moments! - Billy not saying a thing about Supreme Leader's nonsense, frowning at Dimitri and being silent during Claude's monologues is... annoying.

But when Billy isn't in Fodlan games, they can talk and there's still the forbidden rule of not adding numbers - never ! - but they shine more.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 2/7/23

feeling sort of neutral to apathetic about a lot of media this week! two pics of my cat tho to make up for it

listening

NOT feeling neutral or apathetic about the tuesdaysong, pont alexandre iii off the 1998 album Noir by alexander lasarenko. this is a sort of fun little film score exercise by a composer who did a lot of tv work, including PBS' NATURE. the drum fill does sound like it’s from 1998 and i mean that as a compliment. bond movies are emphathetically not noir although they occasionally borrow some visuals, but this piece reminds me of early daniel craig bond movies with the sleek synthy orchestra and subdued horns. they both have the same fuckin uhhhh. the british exotic location travelogue strings. the piano makes me think point and click mystery game.

-

reading

star wars: yoda dark rendezvous by sean stewart. i am about halfway through but this reread is reviving memories of my last reread in uhhhhh. summer 2011 probably. this feels like it was half a concept for a middle grade book about a padawan finding her confidence and ability after losing her master very early in the clone wars, and half a concept for an adult book about the deep sorrow and loss between the treacherous count dooku and his former master, yoda. and in the background of all this ventress (ventress my worstie i love her) is begging and pleading to be made an apprentice while dooku flatly refuses. a generous reading would be “this is all history that rhymes and points to how the master/padawan relationship is not a good pedagogy method for either side and is deeply fucked up” but i think this idea is quite muddied in the middle of this book. it does not always feel deliberate that everyone at once is having trouble managing either their padawans' or their masters' emotions.

the tonal whiplash between the first few chapters is absolutely bonkers. like it's star wars, you couldn't Really show torture on screen or on the page in this specific storytelling era, but it's certainly implied. and then we get a fun field games day for the padawans in the next chapter!!! you don't really consume any star wars media for the prose, but the prose here occasionally gets in the way of itself. it does take a few chapters to find its footing but it is, as i remember, a snappy and fast read. one of the most goth settings in the starred wars imo. the soft plush moss that will start to dissolve your skin if you take a nap in the blood forest has stuck in my brain in the. idk, decade plus since i read this book.

-

watching

The Big Sleep (1946, dir. Hawks) is just as good the third time around. i still have a great deal of difficulty following the plot, but this is a movie that first and foremost Looks incredibly good. shoutout to physical media once again bc this 2005 dvd from the turner classic media co. has solid, reliable, properly timed subtitles. none of the pirate streaming sites i like can boast the same for this particular movie.

in other news new felix colgrave short dropped and it is a bizarre perfect delight

-

playing

beat wolfenstein: the new order on the babiest level and it still took me like forty minutes to sit through the cutscenes. it does such a good job of presenting you with all these very fun environments to run through that you manage to forget that you are very much on rails and it's essentially a boomer shooter (over the top maximalist first person shooter) cramming itself into hallways until the last level in the castle, which feels like endless corridors. im also cranky they showed me so many airships but never let me walk around on an airship. or throw a nazi off an airship.

might wanna get that tesla coil on fire checked out. like i know it's my fault but someone should be alerted about this

i don't really know that this game stuck the landing, for me. i think the last castle level really dragged, and the courtyard arena + the last hallway arena with the catwalks felt very same-y. it's also annoying to me that they give me a sniper rifle but there's no real way to use it as part of a stealth run. there aren't a lot of opportunities for stealth in the back half of this game. it is too much of a shooter and not enough of a narrative/rpg for my tastes, i think. i don't think i'll be continuing on with the series bc i'm not terribly attached to blazkowicz.

this and fallout are like The big AAA alt-history tentpoles, but it's a very small tent. this game was fun for what is was, which was a self-contained and fairly short shooter you're meant to play through twice to get two slightly different narrative routes. it reviewed well at the time and i think the reviews are pretty fair, i had a normal amount of fun aside from the sharp glee of the moon exhibit ramps and crawling through vents in the moon base, i liked it a normal amount and will not be integrating it into my personality. so it fuckin goes sometimes.

-

making

a baby (not mine) blanket, which will absolutely not be ready for the baby (again not mine) in a month and a half. this is going to end up about 40" square and is this pattern off ravelry. it is some flavor of caron baby yarn (i cannot currently find the ballband) on 4mm bamboo circs bc u cannot make a delicate baby blanket. what's the point. its going to go through the wettest hell you can imagine bc a baby's one job is to make fluids.

this pattern is just spicy enough that it's hard to watch TV and count stitches at the same time so i am BURNING through podcasts. slowly but surely getting caught up on A More Civilized Age and their three hour discussions of each star wars episode of Andor. five star podcast five star runtime

[aboxthecolourofheartache]

20 questions for fic writers meme, tagged by @chubsthehamster -- thank you, friend! :D

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

42 at the moment

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

269,795. Almost half of that is one fic though, lol

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently most active in Trigun, perennially/intermittently active in Nirvana in Fire, currently dormant in CritRole, and hiatus in Sandman. Interests wax and wane! And who knows what I'll discover next? Not me, that's for sure.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Mate, I write mostly gen fic. I'm not here for the numbers. A kudos means that a whole human being with thoughts of their own spent some of their precious moments on God's green earth reading my thoughts and kinda liked 'em.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! ...........eventually. sometimes several years later. And why? I dunno, it just feels polite? Also human connection, even digital. That's a thing.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably Inference, but that's just because of the canonical main character death. Visitation Hours is bleak in implication, not in actual ending. My definition of "angst" does not always align with readers' definitions of "angst," which can be hilarious for me when I get weepy reactions on something I thought was relatively lighthearted.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I do 'equivocal' better than 'happy,' I think? The goal is emotional resolution or emotional discordance. Happy's incidental, which almost certainly means I don't write a lot of happy endings by the standard measure.

8. Do you get hate on fic?

Not hate so much as people who are belligerently confused? I get some bonkers fucking comments and anons sometimes, which I delete, a smattering of entitled weirdos, and a sprinkle of (typically unintentionally) back-handed compliments.

9. Do you write smut?

Nope! Suggestive, sure. Dirty language, if relevant. Implication, when called-for. Smut? Nope.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I have written a short series of crossovers between Machineries of Empire and Nirvana in Fire. Haven't written any since, but they're not off the table.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yup! More plagiarism than theft in entirety, though. At least once had someone lift a whole scene, dialogue, phrasing and all, and claim it as their own with obvious intent to get mileage without credit. And I have happened upon recognizable lines from my fics in other fics enough times to have several nickles. I get miffed about the latter, but the charitable assumption is just that it was a phrase fresh in their minds/recalled without association.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Into Russian, I think? Godspeed, fanfic translators, the strongest of us all.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I've co-written original stuff before, but I don't think I could ever do it again, original or fanfic. Not that it wasn't a pleasant experience at the time!

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

I don't have a favorite ship, but I do have a favorite dynamic, which is the mutual "you're the only motherfucker in this club who can handle me" a la that one Lorde tweet. The buckwildness has to be compatible, preferably complimentary. We're not talking enabling, though that can be part of it. It doesn't even have to be a ship. That grok/trust combination.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

Look, I don't know what WIPs are going to get finished until I post them, okay?

16. What are your writing strengths?

I like character studies! And I feel like I am getting better at limited points of view, though they keep wanting to slide omniscient.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Same-hatting with @chubsthehamster here: plot. What the characters are doing in any given story is largely just to break up the dialogue and introspection. Things happening? They don't, sorry. Gotta work on this.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

For straight dialogue in another language, it's still dialogue, and it still has to serve the story, so if it makes more sense to drop it untranslated, drop it untranslated. If the reader needs to know what's being said, italics or paraphrase.

For mixed languages, it's totally situational and depends on the character, too. Did they just get back from an exchange program in France and they're insufferable about it? Are they a very new second language speaker? Are they an expat? A bilingual parent who wants their child to grow up speaking one language preferentially? An academic, or someone who learned their whole vocabulary based on a single vocation (ie: a doctor who can get by using Spanish in a medical scenario but not outside the clinic)? All of that is going to influence their speech pattern.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Nirvana in Fire!

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Just as interests wax and wane, I like some fics more and some less, and today's favorite could be tomorrow's cringe.

Please consider yourself tagged if you see this and would like to play! @ me, if you like!

[fujoreads]

Umineko: Episode 1 // Review & Thoughts

I was initially NOT going to do this since I played Episode 1 long ago last year, but since I'm doing this from episode 3 to 8, might as well have these.

I have daily logs with my reading sessions' reactions and thoughts, but I'll try to find my highlights and summarize everything!

VNDB | Steam

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

CW: Murder (duh, it's a murder mystery); ableism + dysfunctional/abusive family talk

P.S.: There are youtube previews but they break inside my blog's theme, so they won't look as good, but I refuse not to show them, hmph!

This Episode was definitely more of an introduction, even though we seem to get introduced to new concepts, characters and even plot points with each chapter—just like with Higurashi. They do have the same author, after all.

One of the most common complaint I hear from folks about this episode is that it's too much of a slog at the beginning and while I can understand people's issues with pacing in general, I disagree. Maybe I just read too fast and am used to slow pacing, but I feel like people are just too used to having everything quickly presented to them without having to wait at all.

I see this same complaint with Higurashi and I gotta say: it's exactly BECAUSE it's not scary and mysterious from the bat, that when it does become crazy, you feel it. And it's gradual, even at that stage. You can see that as you go further: so far, this is the tamest episode yet and each ones outdoes the previous.

Anyway: I really enjoyed this as a first episode. It truly felt like an Agatha Christie and then it went 180 on it, just like I was expecting from Ryuukishi.

The incest jokes are fortunately short and quick to end, and I get why they'd bother so many people looking for a serious story, but at the same time I feel like people made too much of a ruckus over it. Battler is a horny teen and hasn't seen his family in 6 years; while that doesn't excuse him being a creep, this is clearly meant to be a funny scene and not be taken seriously. You can either laugh it off, roll your eyes or just ignore it, not drop the VN altogether—though if you can't take some tasteless jokes, you wouldn't last the entire ride for how long it is (lol)

I really like how similar yet so different the MCs from Higurashi and Umineko are. While they are both lovable perverts, Keiichi is quick to paranoia and doubting his friends; meanwhile, Battler shows a strong resolve to never doubt his family to the very end. ...This might age poorly depending on future episodes.

PLOT

Honestly, the score doesn't matter that much to me anymore. Especially not when I've read further and have been therefore corrupted with more exciting scenes.

This might be the less out-there scenario, and I appreciate it for what it is. This is basically Ryuukishi saying "hold on to your seats, this is gonna be crazy, but for now, just take it all in and get ready."

On the other hand, the family drama got INTENSE. Eva being voiced by Takano's VA makes so much sense, her being so sly and scheming. Poor Natsuhi, she's a bit too serious for her own good, but Eva is just a bully T^T

The scene where the first twilight happens is too much of a banger!!! I was not to control my emotions: I didn't know whether to dance or to grieve/be shocked. Ugh. But I'll talk more about it in my Soundtrack part.

Also, I just fucking love all the subtle (and not so subtle) references to Higurashi. It's really lovely to see a connection to one of my favorite VNs ever.

And those are my thoughts for the plot itself! I'll be talking about other aspects of the game after, but before, we still have the Tea Party and ??? chapters to talk about!

I knew beforehand there would be something akin to the All-Cast Review Session (from Higurashi) but it certainly surprised me. I was expecting a 20-minute read and I got 2 hours of reading AND a direct connection to the main plot??? Bonkers.

Plus, Battler was so badass the whole time, even if I called him an idiot a few times before this.

Oh yeah, and he was a bit of a savage at times LOL

(this hurt even ME)

CHARACTERS

Since this is the introduction, most characters are still very barebones compared to how far they've come where I currently am. HOWEVER! Ryuukishi is a fucking madlad writing characters.

Everyone feels like their own person with their own faults and liking points. Hell, he plays you like a puppet whose strings have been cut masterfully, shaping your opinion of certain characters just for that illusion to be broken along with our tame expectations of them.

Ushiromiya Battler

My cutie patotie, my little meow meow.

He started off a big incestuous weirdo but he's more mature than he shows, being all considerate for people around him and never being malicious. I love him.

Oh yeah, the whiplash I got from hearing Akasaka's voice is no joke-

Ushiromiya Rudolf

He's a dork and not a great father, it seems. I like his character but I know I wouldn't stand him irl. Though to be fair, I would be more like Maria—but we'll get there in a sec.

Ushiromiya Kyrie

MY WIFEEEE 🛐🛐🛐

I just love Kyrie no matter the episode. She's badass, reliable, but always mysterious. I never thought those "cool" mysterious characters were all that until I met her.

Ushiromiya Eva

MY QUEEN, SLAY 💅🏻✨ Jokes aside, she's a fucking great character. She might have a venomous tongue and be very shitty at times, but that's what makes her her.

Ushiromiya Hideyoshi

Hideyoshi is my utmost "can do no wrong" pick. What a wholesome and cute husband, especially to someone like Eva. God have mercy on this man.

Ushiromiya George

George is another cutie patotie, but he makes me a bit suspicious. I don't know, while Battler is just a pure-hearted goofball, George seems a bit more formal, more intentional with his behaviour and acting. Maybe it's just the glasses... Probably.

I gotta say though, some of the phrasing in his scenes with Shannon (or Sayo, I guess) are uuuuhm... I'd call this a red flag. Unless they were both into it, I guess lmao

Ushiromiya Krauss

I still remember my first impression of him:

He doesn't stand out particularly in this episode, so I won't make any comments. He does remind me of one of my uncles. As I said: insufferable.

Ushiromiya Natsuhi

So far (currently on episode 3), this is her episode. Maybe we'll get further character development (I hope so!) but for now, this a Natsuhi-centered episode. She starts off rather traditional and even cruel to servants, but she quickly earned my respect as the leader of the group, when the murders start happening.

Kinzo acknowledging Natsuhi as an Ushiromiya made me tear up 🥺💗

So many queens in this game 👑

Ushiromiya Jessica

I find Jessica a bit lame as a character. Maybe I'm just an adult, but her whole teen drama felt a bit too much. I mean, I get it; hell, it could even be envy... My own mother is mostly a Natsuhi-type and I can relate to Jessica's feeling, but I have grown up more contained—afraid— than her, let's just say. (Growing up autistic + ADHDer and undiagnosed with a overworked mother who now rejects my official diagnosis does things to you lol)

Ushiromiya Rosa

Rosa started as one of my favorite characters. As the younger sibling to a Eva-type of sister, I could relate to her struggles so much. That is, until you see how she is as a mother. I can still sympathize with her own individual struggles and I don't suddenly hate her because she isn't perfect, but again, as someone who grew up undiagnosed and was the "weird thing" that freaked everyone out and shamed my mother for exisiting, Rosa's behavior towards Maria was hard to watch.

Ushiromiya Maria

I will say: Maria's behavior is a bit weird when the occult is involved, but I daydreamed my whole family would die in a traffic accident at 11 so I'd be free of them—who am I to judge?

I could relate SO MUCH to Maria. I swear to God, Maria is so autistic-coded it hurts: ecolalia (the "uu"s, even if it's also supposed to be a moe? trait lol), lack of facial expressions, special interests (occult, Beatrice), not understanding jokes (even if she is a child)…

She's just like me fr. Her meltdown over the Rose reminds me so much of my own childhood, even if I don't remember much. Beatrice should just adopt her, heh.

Also, pretty sure Maria is the one writing these character profiles.

Ushiromiya Kinzo

OOOOOOH BEATORICHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Nothing much to say, he's painful to listen to. I mean, I guess that's intentional so hey, the VA did a wonderful job!

I think this is how my family must feel as I shut myself in my room all day long, only leaving to walk the dog and eating lol

Shannon

As of this episode, Shannon isn't given much spotlight. I'll be commenting more next episode!

For now, she's my little cutie patotie (3)

Kanon

I didn't love Kanon at first, but he’s just a teenage boy, it’s understandable. I still don't love him, but he's grown on me.

Genji

Genji is an interesting character. I don't remember much from him during the first episode, but I basically saw him as the reliable type.

I wouldn't be too surprised if there were any Kinzo x Genji fanart, not that I ship them

Kumasawa

Ah yes, the only able to outdo Battler in the pervert lines.

Kumasawa is a fine supporting character, but we don't see much from her. I mean, there are some things about her during episode 3, but not really? I can't explain without spoiling, so I'll complain more when I get to it.

Nanjo

Nanjo's cute mustache my beloved. That's all.

Gohda

Gohda might be the funniest character, actually. The fact that he is just a random dude caught in the whole mystery is so funny to me.

Other than that, I absolutely hated Gohda this episode. He gets a bit less insufferable for the next episodes, but maybe it's just me sympathizing for the poor guy just trying to do his job.

Atmosphere & Soundtrack

FUCK. I LOVE BEING ABLE TO HEAR.

Seriously, what a divine soundtrack. Especially the ones by zts.

I just couldn't stop banging my head!

And I've heard Umineko has around 200 tracks—I can't wait to get through all of them <3

I'm kind of sad I don't know what else to say, but I'll just leave this video here. It's what made me pick up Umineko once and for all:

Ooooh I almost forgot about the Voice Acting, so I'll include it here. I LOVED IT. A lot of VAs from Higurashi came back so it's always fun to notice these little things. It makes the drama much better too.

Art

I've chosen the PS3 sprites. Yes, I know: heathen behavior. But personally, I love them. I know that compared to the OG art, they may not be as expressive, but I just enjoy them a lot more. I've grown to appreciate Ryuukishi's art a lot more as I played Higurashi, don't worry.

The Pachinko version, on the other hand, is fucking awful. Say what you will, I just can't swallow it down.

Writing

I know Ryuukishi's forte isn't his prose, but it's actually not bad at all!

I don't have anything in particular to comment on, so I'll make this one short. Great writing, even if a bit convoluted at times.

Mechanics & Gameplay

This is a weird section, as Umineko doesn't even have choices, let alone "gameplay", but hear me out: I'm playing with the mods.

The visual and sound rain effects, the lip sync, the overall visual effects... chef's kiss! I doubt my enjoyment would be so great without these. Call me spoiled, but they are truly amazing.

Final Thoughts

Phew, I wrote a lot!

Umineko is not an unknown work for those into visual novels so I don't think I have to particularly recommend it, but I am absolutely loving it. No wonder people praise it so much.

My final score for this episode is a solid 8.5/10, aka 4 stars!!

If you want to have an idea whether this is for you, don't drop it until the first murder happens, please! It's considered to have a slow start, so take that into consideration. If you're a fast reader like me, you'll get there in no time!

For reference, the first episode took me around 15~17h to finish, a length somewhat close to Higurashi's Episode 1. Episode 3 and 4 are said to be the longest ones and they average a total of 30h, but when you get there, you'll be hopefully fully immersed. I certainly am, at least!

Well then, I'll be writing my thoughts on Episode 2 soon! Look forward to it~

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Thank you for reading it all to the end! I’m working full-time and looking for another job to make my life possible; would you be so kind and consider giving me a little tip? It can be as low as 3 bucks and it’d make a huuuuuge difference!! If you tip 10€ (or higher), you can dictate my next read and be credited (if you’d like) on that review! Have a nice day!!

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Turns out I have a lot of thoughts about only the finale, so Im just gonna jot down my thoughts about season 5 bullet-point style before I forget everything and then make a seperate post about just the finale

I liked the return to form we got with it just being Ladybug and Cat Noir fighting villains instead of all these other superheroes that honestly just clutter everything, I am most certainly not looking forward to seeing how theyll handle this in the next season

I liked that they were kinda breaking out of the incredibly consistant formulaic episode structure and specifically that we got more interesting de-akumatizations than just Ladybug physically beating them

Monarchs design fucking sucked, why are his ears just fully out. slut

I quite liked Felix despite all the negative stuff Ive heard about him, I was honestly suprised that he played such a small role this season I think he only had like 6 or 7 appearances in the entire show

Feligami is not even working for me, even if I didnt prefer Marigami and Adrigaminette and even if I didnt think their relationship was rushed and felt obligatory and forced, theres just something kinda unsettling about how Felix has the ability to fully kill Kagami. Like, I dont think hes gonna do it considering how crushed he was when he to get rid of the big red orb that eats people, but it still adds this weird undertone to the relationship. I think the only way to resolve this that I can think of would be to have them swap miraculous, even just for one episode so that we can see that Felix genuinely trusts her with his life the same way he expects her to trust him

I already wrote a whole post about how the mostly male writers of this show clearly dont understand how teen girls react to other teen girls who are compulsive liars, so Im definitely not looking forward to Lila and her bullshit getting even more attention

Its so weird how Gabriel and Tomoe are clearly portrayed as in the wrong for wanting to control their children the way they do, but then when Chloes mom literally does the same thing with basically the same wording and everything its just like, karma ig?? Or atleast thats how I read it with how Chloe was written to be so comically awful for the entire season

Everything involving the Alliance rings was fucking bonkers who came up with that

This season felt a lot less magical and miraculous whimsical, like it was going into more of a weird sci-fi direction which I dont really like

I liked the stuff with the resistance and how the Miracuclass were still trying to be heroes even without superpowers and I liked how they called each other comrades, that was kinda based ngl

Kitty Noirs design sucked ass, who thought it was a good idea to put all those clashing colors on her head but I did like that we got to see Alya slay as Scarabella again that was fun

My favorite episode of the season and possibly the series tbh was Perfection, I actually teared up a little towards the end it was lovely

[strugglinguist]

How'd you learn you had heds? What's your favorite book? Favorite tv show?

Hi! It was a weird turn of events! I saw someone on TikTok who talked openly about having hEDS and POTS, and I was interested so did some research into it. She talked about her bendy joints and how she would often have heart rate spikes when she stood or she'd fully pass out. She also talked about chronic pain a little bit. I read that there was a high level of comorbidity with autism and ADHD, and I filed it away for my "that's a cool medical fact to know."

Around the same time I was discovering my Autism and ADHD and working with therapists and clinics and stuff, I talked to my GP about "crunching in my knees." I asked her if it was normal that my knees sounded like a rice krispies treat crackling in a hallway. She looked at me as if I was bonkers and sent me to an orthopedist who diagnosed me with early onset arthritis in my knees. He sent me to PT, and there they did an examination and told me I am hypermobile EVERYWHERE.

It has caused life long pain and issues with my feet. It led to growing pains all growing up. And now it is degenerative, so I'm experiencing new symptoms all the time. I walk with a cane now full time because of issues with balance, and stairs are my nemesis. I can do them, but they can often hurt. Standing for any amount of time leads to burning pain in my lower back. And I have custom orthotic insoles because my feet have incredible issues with pain and I sprain my ankles all the time. I've been having more severe pain and balance issues recently, so I need to acquire a set of forearm crutches before the fall when I need to go back in and teach. I'm hoping to get them in June. They're just expensive as all hell!

I've had a lot of issues with doctors not believing me or misdiagnosing me or undercutting me because they just assume my issues are anxiety or that I just need to lose weight. But I do eventually get diagnoses! That's how I've gotten the official Hypermobile Spectrum Disorder diagnosis (it's hEDS but not OFFICIAL OFFICIAL) and a diagnosis of Inappropriate Sinus Tachycardia. Those give me the most physical issues that certainly compound with AuDHD traits!

My current favorite book series is rather long, but it's The Chronicles of St. Mary's series by Jodi Taylor. It's about time travel and broken people and love and duty. I fucking love everything about it! I can't wait for the next book to come out.

My favorite TV show of all time is West Wing, but I also love Breaking Bad passionately.

[theshotsheardacrossworlds]

I apologize for another love booster XD. What would happen if Estinien ate a pumpkin cookie laced with Love booster. I am just curious how a beautiful witch like Agni would handle a very very very horny ghost

Esme is with Mum, which means...we get to be out for as long as we like! Agnes squealed as she sipped some apple cider. She and Estinien came to the All Saints' Wake Party in Gridania. More like I dragged him here, and he insisted on wearing the ghost costume. Oh love, everyone will know it's you. Most adorable, sexiest, grumpiest ghost ever! She was taken out of her thoughts by said ghost nearly running into her.

"Agi! My angel! My...witch." The ghost growled.

"Love! Please be careful! You almost knocked me and my cider over." She laughed. Don't want apple cider on my tits!

"Forgive me, my sweet. I simply...love you so very much." Did his voice get lower? Oh dear, is it ghost dragon time? "You see, my pretty, I've been bewitched, charmed by the most beautiful witch on the star." A ghost hand grabbed Agnes's behind and squeezed. "And you, my witchy wife, are the only cure." He squeeezd her ass again, more forcefully. "Agi, you are sexiest witch to ever exist. And the sweetest..."

There is no fucking way an alchemist from Radz-at-Han came here right? Right? RIGHT? "Love, did you eat or drink anything?"

The ghost paused its praises and sighed. "A pumpkin cookie not worth mentioning. You are the far superior--"

Out of nowhere, Agnes's staff appeared, glowing white, and she slammed it on the ground. Partygoers stared at the couple. "ALRIGHT, WHICH ONE OF YOU FUCKERS IS AN ALCHEMIST FROM RADZ-AT-HAN WHO BAKED SOME SHIT LOVE POTION PUMPKIN COOKIES?"

An au'ra in a costume resembling one of the Three Sisters raised her hand. "Mrs. Agi! Twas just a simple experiment--"

"WELL HOW'S THIS FOR A FUCKING EXPERIMENT?!!?!?" Preparing to cast Holy III, a white light enveloped Agnes, while partygoers slowly backed away.

Not the ghost though.

"My sweet pretty girl there's no need--"

"SHUT UP, ESTINIEN!" Agnes screamed shrilly. "YOU CAN FUCK ME LATER. YOUR WIFE IS ABOUT TO HOLY AN ALCHEMIST TO THE NEXT BLOODY DIMENSION!"

While Agnes was trying (and failing) to chase the alchemist, casting Glare, Dia, and Holy, a trio of ghosts of varying sizes watched the spectacle with great amusement.

"Oh dear, Agi is certainly not someone to anger." The lalafellan ghost sighed. "Has she always had this much of a temper?"

The hyur-sized ghost shook its head. "Nay. Even as a trainee conjurer, Agi has usually kept a level head."

The tallest ghost laughed. "Any child of Vylbrand who doesn't the honor...or sanity of their loved is a fool and coward. Aye, that's her roots surfacing. Hurricane Agi comin' in!"

Another large ghost, appearing as if it only had one arm, joined the group. "The only time I saw her that angry was after one of her Flames squadron insulted Ser Estinien after Pagl'than. She went positively bonkers! Twas a hilarious sight, I'll not lie."

An elezen ghost also joined the group, chuckling, drink in hand. "If you think that's bad, you should've seen what she did to my father and the Heavensward. Obliterated from this earth. How does the saying go? 'Beware the nice ones?' I adore Agnes, but I wouldn't want to be on her 'shit list' as she calls it."

The five ghosts nodded and continued to watch, all greatly amused.

[adamsvanrhijn]

i might read John's showing up in Newport thing as a tiny bit less indicative of being Weird than you do... to me it seems sort of like, the sort of Grand Gesture impulsive thing you might do out of total desperation, especially if you consider they've been together a long time, John has been kind of repressing and hiding all his actual emotions about the situation so when he expresses them they come out in big bursts. Also, as far as we know, we never see him get input from anyone else about his relationship like friends etc so maybe its the sort of thing that makes sense in his head and its not like. Actually maybe this is not so good of an idea until he's already gone and done it

Thank you for the ask!! Love 2 read thoughts on this. And I see now after drafting this that you sent follow up ones too but i will go ahead publish this one first

I think my thoughts on that are. The Newport behavior makes sense as something to Think about doing... Many people think about things like that regardless of brainweirds. Winning an argument in the shower etc etc.

But actually doing it... especially when there are SO many steps to doing it. that is bonkers behavior. It isn't like, inherently mentally ill, like is that behavior someone without brainweirds would do—Almost certainly so. sometimes people do ridiculous things. Fully believe there are guys who do that kind of thing and would not get diagnosed with Weird.

But. and this is most important to my brainweirds headcanon. it is not something that seemed to line up with the rest of John's behavior. It came totally out of left field for viewers, everyone went nuts. Blog reviewers that commented on the plotline universally were like "this is deranged and came out of nowhere, what a guy". logistically it is just. ridiculous amount of effort to go to for a guy who is giving introverted and going with the flow in most of his screentime. like he absolutely snapped, he had been holding back and communicating extremely poorly and making assumptions that he could ignore it and it would blow over etc, but the Way that he snapped...

I think a normal person would leave it at the restaurant. well truly I think a normal person would not have gone there during the restaurant but everyone has times where emotions run high! but i think it would have been left there and then he would have had a whole argument in private when oscar got home...

instead he goes completely absolutely out of his way specifically to draw attention to how wonderful and fine his life could be without acknowledging oscar in it at all and that he can make himself more desirable than oscar and harm oscar's plans... there are So many things he could have been trying to demonstrate but all of them ultimately, I think, are intentionally to fuck with or hurt oscar or at least to Teach Him A Lesson...

oscar, someone he otherwise seems to be quite ride or die for and is extremely in love with and is i think trying to serve that With whatever bananas sentiment he is directly trying to express with his newport behavior. Like he cares deeply about oscar but is still taking ridiculous steps to get the upper hand.

That is the part that doesn't make much sense in the context of his previous & upcoming behavior and most of his s2 behavior as well, and makes more sense when you decide you want him to have brainweirds! imho.

because like I think the key thing to keep in mind when looking at My thoughts etc on my tumblr dot com blog is that I am reading John Adams as brainweird because I want to. And I want to because, a, it is historically fun, that family was chock full of brainweirds, but also because, b, I myself am brainweird. But i do think it enhances the text and is supported by his actions !!

Also something I think is Very interesting is that when I polled, most people seemed to think that John would Not feel anything resembling regret or embarrassment etc about his actions in Newport... which was not at All the lens I myself was looking through because of my own experiences. like when my brain makes me do crazy shit it is like. Absolutely cringe and bananas after it's over and i want to forget it ever happened. and in 1.09 when john is so sullen and pouty when Oscar teases him about flirting with gladys...

he's giving 1880s bipolar disorder. to me <3

[smolycule]

for the smosh asks, 10-17 :)

the way this has been sitting in my inbox for half a year i am SO fucking sorry anon LMAO. thanks for humoring me with that ask game i reblogged months ago 😭 idk if you even care anymore BUT heres a response! better late than never i guess oops

10. Fave smosh song?

dixon cider is up there unfortunately. also girls are gross. and any of the lil jingles tommy made throughout the years :3

11. What's something you want to see come back?

i need another smosh seasonal games EXPEDITIOUSLY... plus as an Older fan a part of me is always gonna want the ex cast to appear again in some capacity, mainly ogsog 🤧

12. Do you own any Smosh merch?

yes i have a baseball tee with the "questionable quality humor" design on it which i got mid 2010s (i love the design but i unfortunately got it in a too small size so it's kinda dysphoria inducing 😭). and they had a deal at the time i ordered it where they sent an extra random piece of merch along with the order for free so i also have a kinda silly looking tshirt based on the assassin's creed 4 song that has text that says "cause i'm a pirate" 😭 cannot wear that one in public

13. Do you ship anything/love any friendship pairs?

why yes i do 8) but i already kinda go over that in my pinned post so i don’t feel like typing it all out again lol. as of late though my brain has been Consumed with spourtney, spommy, and shaynse among the expected others. and more tbh

14. What is your favorite 'era' of Smosh?

truthfully it is the current era but also including early 2023. i think when let’s do this was airing it was the most consistently i was having fun with smosh uploads ever. i see the current era as basically the early 2023 vibe but part 2, though anthony returning was certainly a very high point despite ldt ending 🤧 tho im NOT gonna lie 2016-2018 smosh, particularly for the pit uploads and general cast dynamics, comes in 2nd for me. bc im a nostalgic bitch

15. What castmember do you think you are most like?

HONESTLY. IDK… maybe courtney due to the Queerness, nonbinarism, humor style, fashion style (kinda, im not as fem as them), and history of parasocial tendencies and ability to get Extreme joy out of witnessing people being cute and affectionate with each other. our joint ex-larry shipper slay… but also tommy for the Anxiety and queerness and humor and love for noise music <3 (can u tell theyre my favs)

something i find FASCINATING though is that i VISCERALLY relate to shaynes specific social anxiety about Emails and avoiding them in a cycle bc u get scared u missed something important so u just avoid them more 😵‍💫 when i first heard him say that i went BONKERS bc what other fucking celebrity who deliberately puts themselves in the public eye would be that dysfunctional about that 😭 idk i just felt seen… (granted my avoidance issues are Much worse than that and affect way more facets of my life haha but. yeah)

16. Have you met any friends through Smosh?

no… 🫠 ive always been a recluse esp in fandom spaces hskskskfngfkld

17. What do you want to see now that Anthony's back?

this question definitely was more fitting when this ask game was relevant months ago LOL but still i want to see anthony interacting with the cast more on pit and games. all the time even

OK DONE FINALLY. if you read all that… thank you 🫡

[shhisp]

I read new Cute Girlfriend chapter, I screeched because of new Cute Girlfriend chapter.

And I just know that Dirk would be not fuckin normal about this, maybe he thinks it's over, he can manage but I give like... Week before he does something weird.

Plus yeah, I'm there for more Jake and Dave. Mostly because I'm curious if Jake would still have energy for faking his interest If yes then it's gonna be bonkers, if not then double hilarious.

If I get it right both Jake and Jane are adopted? I'm not gonna lie I suddenly remembered other fics in that series where Jane was okay with going for it when they were cousins. But for another hand, they are raised as a siblings so maybe she spend too much time with Jake to see him as a option. Idk, your fics are bananas, everything is possible.

Oh Dirk is Most Certainly Not Normal At All. But Jake is unfortunately the more deranged of the two, at least in his uhhhhhhhhh....... enthusiasm for making things worse for himself, as a treat. (His histrionic borderline ass man.) I'm so excited to get into the official (and shorter) phase two of their Courting Ritual mwahaha

Even if I don't end up going for a bonus additional chapter we actually fit in more of Dave and Jake like... WAY later on in the story which is fucking hilarious, to be honest, and I cannot fucking wait. As for him faking his interest......

He is so damn insane that it's a coin flip in the eyes of the readers huh. And I love that.

Also YES! Jane and Jake are adopted with no point of direct origin (see: how they arrived via meteors of paradox clones of themselves.) They're taken in to be groomed heirs for Betty Crocker and Skaianet respectively (though the overlap is insane.) I love LE as an absent father figure to represent Jake's lack of proper male role models in life as well as his canonical association with LE because (to me) if that doesn't just scream daddy issues by reading in between the lines a little too much idk what does truly.

My dynamic for them is usually LE almost entirely absent with Condy favoring Jane, but is much harsher on her as well. I don't see HIC as a horrible mother towards Jake, though, even if I wouldn't call them "parents" in any way. Like, they weren't in the beta timeline... They wouldn't be otherwise. I write more about how Grandpa Harley favors his mother over his intense and very batshit father in A Loser's First Love, and how HIC, with having Jane estranged and all, is just like. Yes my idiot son I totally agree, your father needs to kill himself. It's such a fun family dynamic for me, and I have a soft spot for Jake/Jane being mildly incestuous, so.

^ that being said Jane isn't slated to play a super big role yet. I'm not even sure how she feels about Jake 100% yet but to be honest I think she is......... worried to say the least in ways that Roxy isn't. You know because of the whole............ Yeah. I love her though, I wish I had more excuses to include her in my fics. (This is reminding me that I would love to write an equally deranged CottonCandy fic just to match alongside the Dirkjakes Mae and I write. Which. Honestly. Will probably come to fruition. Toxic yuri era?)

I'm so happy you find these fics absolutely bananas though, to me that is the biggest of compliments. It's very late but I had a lot of fun talking about The Fic (and I am SOOOO happy you enjoyed it!!!!!!!!) It has some of my favorite parts in the entire series thus far T_T mostly the pee scene but you know who doesn't expect that from me

Rambling over!!!!!!!!! Thank you for sending another ask Kefis you're lovely ^_^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[jojolustnotes]

ok so, i know i have a thing for playing with my fo's boobs, but i just recently discoverd that i may or may not have a lactation kink too? possibly?

cuz i was really curious about what breastmilk tasted like, and apparently it tastes kinda sweet from what ive read, kinda like when you have sweet cereal and the milk has a sweeter flavor to it as a result? its apparently like that, which is cool, i always assumed it tasted like regular cow milk. anyways, this came about cuz i started playing around with the idea of me and val having a kid eventually (no clue when but i'll most certainly let you know when that time does come dbdb) and, of course, my brain was like "ok so, we know you like playing with and sucking on val's boobies. what do you think'll happen if you try doing that when she's lactating?? what would that even taste like??? like, you like playing and sucking on them, she loves it when you do that, and theyre probably a lil more sensitive to touch than before, so it'll probably feel fuckin amazing.... right???" and i am going bonkers about it just imagining it

needless to say i have sketched out a pic and am (attempting) to write something for it, this idea has completely taken a hold of the braincell and im very horny about this. i mean, im always horny for val, but holy fuck this is making me go even crazier over her jsndhfh

Oh!! Lactation kink is good hehe. 

That’s interesting... Huh. Oh gosh, I’m sure Val would be more than happy to let you suck on her breasts while she’s lactating honestly. I’m sure she would also be curious to know what you think about her breast milk ;P Hehe the fact you’re so curious about it is definitely something she’s into as well... She loves seeing your face when you’re curious about trying somehting new iwth her. 

But oooh? Oh? You’ve even sketched something out for this? Peak horny. 

[annyeongffs]

#𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧: 𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘂𝘀 𝗮𝘀 𝗱𝗼𝗺𝘀.

𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻'𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘀𝗺𝘂𝘁. 𝗇𝗈 𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗈𝗋𝗌!

𝘅𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍 𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗋𝗍𝗌 𝖻𝖾𝗅𝗈𝗐 𝖼𝗎𝗍. 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: 𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗄 𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌, 𝖽𝗈𝗆 𝗈𝗇𝖾𝗎𝗌.

𝑹𝒂𝒗𝒏:

𝗌𝗈𝖿𝗍 𝖽𝗈𝗆 / 𝗱𝗼𝗺 / 𝗁𝖺𝗋𝖽 𝖽𝗈𝗆

• ravn as a dom is so hot to me like just picture him holding you down to keep you still when he’s on top,, anyways he seems like a perfect ‘middle ground’ dom: i.e not really strict but not incredibly vanilla, kinda leaning towards the harder side tho. could 10/10 see this man being into choking and hairpulling (both giving) and probably looooves guiding his sub when receiving oral. also hnnng he gives me major dirty talk vibes... imagine the absolute degradation that could come outta his mouth ugh but he’d be the softest boi when it comes to aftercare!!!

𝑺𝒆𝒐𝒉𝒐:

𝗌𝗈𝖿𝗍 𝖽𝗈𝗆 / 𝖽𝗈𝗆 / 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗱𝗼𝗺

• this man. this man right here. will edge you til sunrise, will gag you with your own clothes or leave you tied to the bed, and will most certainly make you beg for your orgasm so hard you cry. basically seoho puts the hard in hard dom. also seems hella exhibitionist if you ask me (but only in the sense of letting other people hear not rly letting them see)... tbh i feel like he’s into a lot of kinky shit where he gets to be in control. mirror sex, tying his s/o up, corruption kink, choking, blindfolding; honestly this man is the definition of dom, and if you even think abt acting bratty then seoho can have you begging to be put back in your place.

𝑳𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒐:

𝗌𝗈𝖿𝗍 𝖽𝗈𝗆 / 𝗱𝗼𝗺 / 𝗁𝖺𝗋𝖽 𝖽𝗈𝗆

• i am all about that leedo giving overstim agenda!! he isn’t the world’s hardest dom, but oh boy can he DELIVER when he’s making the rules. prepare to receive the best oral of your fucking life when he goes down- he won’t stop until you’re shaking and crying, probably gets off on knowing he can ruin you with just his mouth. also i can rly see him being into less generalized kinks like petplay or temperature play... his secret fantasy would be going down on his sub with an ice cube in his mouth. and i can’t be the only one thinking he wants to wrap his hands around his s/o’s neck right?? but anyways,, dom leedo will leave you wrecked before he even really fucks you.

𝑲𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒉𝒆𝒆:

𝘀𝗼𝗳𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝗺 / 𝖽𝗈𝗆 / 𝗁𝖺𝗋𝖽 𝖽𝗈𝗆

• he seems so sweet and vanilla on screen, and for the most part he probably is. but when keonhee’s in control... mans is in CONTROL. you wanna mess around & act bratty? good luck getting him to let you cum. doesn’t care for brats and will refuse to give you what you want until you submit (another kpop boy with those soft brat tamer vibes!) and is probably the most dangerous mix of sweet and seductive. i could see him rly being into the foreplay aspect of sex,, finding that buildup and rising tension really appealing in the sense that he controls the pace. probably also loves hearing how good his s/o feels during the act pls someone fulfill this mans praise kink and could potentially be into light bondage; not a big dom but he’s no joke in bed.

𝑯𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒘𝒐𝒐𝒏𝒈:

𝗌𝗈𝖿𝗍 𝖽𝗈𝗆 / 𝖽𝗈𝗆 / 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗱𝗼𝗺

• hwanwoong is a massive switch and all of tumblr agrees with this. however when he isn’t busy being a bratty sub... this boy can fuck you UP. i could totally see him being into the absolute kinkiest stuff ever- name a kink and i bet that if he hasn’t already tried it then he’s definitely down to. obviously experimentalist but i’m sensing some massive degrader energy too (just imagine how much of a fucking tease this man could be, saying all sorts of nasty things to you in public!! ugh!). and pls, for the love of god, if you want the best fuck of your life just tug on his hair. mans will go absolutely bonkers.

𝑿𝒊𝒐𝒏:

𝘀𝗼𝗳𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝗺 / 𝖽𝗈𝗆 / 𝗁𝖺𝗋𝖽 𝖽𝗈𝗆

• so we all know xion is a softie,, but that one line he has in no diggity the one where he literally says “fuck off” in korean proves that he definitely has a harder side. not a hard dom by any means but he for sure could take the lead in bed; i can see him being into vanillafied dom stuff like impromptu bondage (no bdsm ropes but more like using a belt or a tie in the heat of the moment)... someone help me bc i’m getting serious vibes that xion wants to spit in his sub’s mouth!!! like he might not be ridiculously kinky and he doesn’t always push his s/o against the wall during foreplay, but damn can he leave you breathless. i feel like he might also have a slight thing for body worship- praise this man and you will never go to bed disappointed.

[power-chords]

The improvement in my mental health has been SO dramatic these past six weeks, it’s bonkers. Sure, I miss rolling out of bed at 8 AM and being able to stay up past midnight, which is more or less my natural rhythm. And I could certainly live without the commute to and from Westchester five days a week. But it’s such a minor sacrifice compared to having my fucking life back. Dancing and screaming and singing in concert halls, being thrilled and moved in front of a theater stage, movies on the big screen, spending time with friends and family. The everyday joy and wonder – which I have never taken for granted, but is now magnified, compounded – of wandering the grid with my headphones on. Grinning and gawking like a tourist.

I’ll never forget that afternoon I dared venture in, June of 2020, to visit the doctor and run an errand for my parents. Walking down Second Avenue and seeing all the stores shuttered, the windows boarded up, the streets empty and dead. It was harrowing. Worse than Manhattan right after 9/11. It was one thing to look south and see the plumes of smoke and a hole in the sky, and another thing entirely to walk for miles through a ghost town. It was unrecognizable, apocalyptic. Broke my heart in two.

It’s not over yet, and it’s not going to be over, but it is far better than it was. Livable, not merely survivable. I feel at last… recalled to life* :)

*This was how it hit me, that something internally tectonic had shifted. For most of the duration of the pandemic, I was fighting just to read. I could barely manage to finish a single book. And now I’m eating them up again, in bed, on the train, in restaurant bars. PHEW.