#that was a relatively sane time in my life.

[elvisqueso]

the struggle is real. i'm out here hunting down the director commentary track from pocahontas's laserdisc edition, specifically, bc the other two version were either only for the extended cut (and finding that is it's own battle) or were from the bluray release and who the fuck knows what they'll say in that after 20 years of hindsight.

i want the purity of someone who's JUST finished the project, the high of creation still humming in their veins, proud of their work and having no idea that what they'd just done was going to piss off SO many people. i want that. i want that innocence.

[kassasnek]

If I don't fumble this interview it will lead to me moving out and abroad for four years what in the absolute fuxk

[agustdiv1ne]

telepathy (m) — cbg

pairing: choi beomgyu x fem!reader

genre: smut, strangers to ???, mind reader/telepathist!beomgyu, funeral home employee!beomgyu (it's for the plot ok???)

wc: 11.7k

synopsis: most people would abhor a packed subway car — but beomgyu, telepathist extraordinaire, relishes in it. with a career in the funeral business, he finds his morning commute to be the only thing that keeps him relatively sane. reading the mundane thoughts of mundane people maintains his tether to his humanity, but when he goes to read your mind...oh, things get a whole lot more interesting.

warnings: mdni!! 18+ only, ageless blogs dni!!!, mentions of dead bodies, embalming, and funerals (though not very descriptive — it's only bc of gyu's profession), reader is a freak that listens to nsfw audios on her way to work!, gyu is a perv so it's a match made in heaven (hell?), gyu's honestly a little strange + obsessive in this...anyways, dom!gyu, sub!mc, solo male masturbation, on my big cock beomgyu agenda, very brief mentions of daddy/sir/master kinks, explicit consent is given before anything happens bc consent is sexy <3, mind manipulation (he makes it feel like he's touching her), exhibitionism in a way (it will all make sense, trust 🙏), degradation, praise, pseudo-fingering (idk how to explain it, f receiving), gyu calls mc: pretty girl, sweetheart, slut, whore, princess, mc calls gyu sir like once...whew! that was a lot, lmk if i should add anything!

note: you know i have a terrible bout of brainrot when the warnings are all nsfw related...yeah. Yeah. *presses post and runs away*

☆ playlist ☆

masterlist

beomgyu’s commute to work is, by all means, uneventful. 

the train is packed as per usual, filled to the brim with businessmen and office workers and other miscellaneous passengers on their way to whatever the hell their destination is. like most days, he finds himself towards the middle of the passenger car, snatching a rare open seat between a stone-faced man adorned in a suit — his head buried in a newspaper — and a slumped over college student nursing a cup of coffee. the poor kid almost looks like death itself, sporting dark under eyes, rumpled clothes, and a prominent slouch to his spine. not that beomgyu could really blame him; he remembers how easily college living (if you could call it living) can chip away at a person’s mental well-being. 

people-watching like this is what keeps him sane, he thinks. being surrounded by corpses all day, every day is more than draining — it sucks the soul out of him, really, being the only person on shift most of the time that he’s working, having to embalm and clean and pretty up all those cold, gray bodies so that their loved ones can say one last goodbye. it’s quiet in their minds and it’s all too quiet in the funeral home, the only sounds being the clanking of the embalming tools he’s been trained to use, his footsteps echoing down the tiled halls, his sighs of contempt when something small goes wrong — yet the living, breathing, warm people on the train provide a sense of normalcy, something to look forward to every day. to hear their thoughts, as prosaic as they are, has become a sort of saving grace from the lifeless, cold building that he finds himself in five out of the seven days of the week. honestly, if he can maintain a little bit of his humanity via strangers among the subway, even if it’s just by hearing their thoughts, then he’ll take what he can get. 

yeah, that’s the thing: beomgyu is a mind-reader, a pretty talented one at that. not that anyone knew, of course — he wouldn’t risk the government finding out. beomgyu is not usually one for promises, but he has promised himself one thing: there’s no way in hell that he will ever become one of the government’s sick little science experiments, even if his life ever hits rock bottom. he has no idea how his powers work — just that they do, and he would like to keep it that way. it’s bad enough that he doesn’t know where he got such abilities; his parents never mentioned anything about it and only ever grew worried whenever he read back their thoughts to them, so obviously the existence of his powers is some statistical anomaly in the universe. normal people can’t read others’ minds. he was forced to learn that at a very young age in order to keep himself safe. 

“how do you know that?” he remembers his mother’s alarmed tone when he first did it unknowingly, repeating back her own thoughts to her without realizing that’s what he had done. he was maybe six at the time — innocent, curious, plagued by voices in his head that he didn’t quite understand. those voices weren’t his. rather, they were his friends’, his family’s, his dentist’s and his doctor’s and his soccer coach’s voices that ricocheted about his mind uncontrollably;it was overwhelming for the young boy’s mind. the day he first admitted that he could hear them was the first day he heard his parents argue, their yelling from downstairs colliding with their internal voices in beomgyu’s mind, their terribly poignant concern for him and this development louder than any of the venomous words that they spat at each other in the living room. all he remembers from that day was himself crying, unable to block out anything that they thought, let alone his own thoughts. too much for his young mind to handle.

he heard their fear when they took him to the doctor for the first time of many, their heartache when the doctor came back and said that he might have psychosis, but more testing was needed. he heard how they started to deny it — their little boy couldn’t have that, could he? no, no he couldn’t. there’s no way he could. 

although beomgyu was young at the time, guilt ate at him. he was the one hurting his parents, he was the one making them worry. despite his official diagnosis when he was seven, something inside him knew that the doctors were wrong. those voices weren’t just the result of the machinations of his mind at work — they were voices of the people he knew, strangers who passed him on the street. what they said wasn’t evil, it wasn’t out of the ordinary. usually, it was quite mundane. at some point, he started to practice with it, trying focus on one certain voice out of the buzzing hive in his mind, blocking out the others, switching and focusing and blocking out until the action was as natural as breathing. it took him about five years before he reached that point, and after nearly two decades of living with his abilities, he’s gotten quite used to it. his mind is usually quiet — besides his own stream of consciousness — unless he allows others in. or, rather, they allow him in, which they always do. he sees it like a set of doors; open one, and you can hear that one person’s thoughts. close it, and he no longer hears them. and none of them are ever locked since no one expects to their thoughts to be read, which simply makes his life that much easier.

if he’s being honest, he didn’t used to read minds as often as he does now, but there isn’t much he can do about that now lest he go insane. beomgyu could admit that his habit was a little creepy…okay scratch that, extremely fucking creepy. these people had no idea that their minds were being infiltrated, their mental walls bypassed and their privacy violated like a computer infected with a malicious virus. it’s borderline depraved, how nonchalantly he robs these strangers of their utmost privacy, sometimes of their deepest, darkest secrets that they would never want anyone to find out about. he could sequester quite a bit of money out of some of these people, now that he thinks about it.

and sure, that may sound immoral, but beomgyu has never considered himself to be of particularly virtuous character.

without a second thought, beomgyu taps into the mind of the kid next to him. he’s thinking about how he’s failing his statistics class because he just bombed his midterm. no, now his mind is full of what he’s going to eat after his 8 a.m. class. he shifts his focus on the businessman to his right. stocks, his cheating wife, how he’s considering leaving with his mistress in the coming days…

”what a prick,” beomgyu thinks to himself, smirking a bit. just a few more stops until he gets off, now. 

he pulls his phone from his jacket pocket, scrolling aimlessly just to keep his eyes busy. sitting on the opposite side of the college student, an elderly lady walks herself through the stew that she’s going to make for her grandchildren tonight, excitement coloring her words. it’s cute — he loves hearing things like that. wholesome thoughts are not easy to come by nowadays, given the state of the world. exhibit a: a teenager standing on the other side of the train car worries himself into a frenzy over whether the girl that he has a crush on likes him back. exhibit b: a middle aged man contemplates if he should quit his job. for a second, beomgyu thinks that he might be in the same boat as him, before realizing that he has nothing else to fall back on — exhibit c. he could keep going.

a clear, robotic voice overhead announces the subway’s arrival to the next station — his station. sighing, he sits up a little taller, slipping his phone into the pocket of his slacks. a vague sense of dread weighs down his shoulders, knowing that he has a service to set up for the moment he clocks in.

he’s not looking forward to today, and yet the train still slows to a stop, the doors still slide open, and he still grabs his work briefcase from the spot between his feet. like clockwork, beomgyu maneuvers through the crowd, out the doors, and climbs the stairs up to the chilly streets of seoul.

decompressing after a slow-moving shift can take beomgyu’s night in many directions. sometimes, he simply returns home and hops into bed after a long, scalding hot shower that removes the invisible layer of grime that lays heavy on his skin. other times — typically on fridays — he’ll stop by a bar and catch up with his friends, occasionally leaving with a woman hanging off of his arm if he drinks enough to lower his inhibitions. more often than not, however, his excursions at the underground bar that taehyun is partial to end in him stumbling home alone and waking up the next morning with a raging headache. nursing a hangover alone, eating breakfast alone, bathing alone…he has never really become acclimated to it. the monster that festers inside beomgyu’s chest craves for love, for connection, for somebody to hold when the nights are too dark and his thoughts match the shade of the sky. the lack of connection is slowly getting to him. is this what insanity feels like? he wouldn’t know, nor would he like to find out. he’s sane. he’s perfectly sane. 

beomgyu understands that his profession can be off-putting to potential lovers, but it’s not as if he had much of a choice in the matter — not when his one shot at the career of his dreams crumbled below his feet when the company filed bankruptcy, sending him tumbling back down to earth, to the reality that his college degree meant little to nothing to the vast majority of employers nowadays. though he applied to dozens of jobs, the only one he ever heard back from was from the listing titled “mortuary assistant,” and in desperation, he accepted the position without much thought. maybe if he had tried a little harder to find a different company where he could apply his skills, maybe if he had pushed himself to make connections in the industry when he had the resources to do so, maybe if he had pursued music production a little harder, had not given up so readily when things grew difficult…maybe things would be different. 

beomgyu often thinks about the maybes.

this particular night, he finds himself leaned over a bar counter, a glass of amber-hued beer in hand. he half-listens to yeonjun’s slurred account of his dance crew’s latest win while he stares down at the mahogany tabletop. some condensation has gathered on the wood, and he swipes a finger through it. a slap to his shoulder brings his focus back to his surroundings.

“gyu, dude, y’should totally try out,’’ yeonjun pitches as he sloppily swings an arm over beomgyu’s shoulders. “get out of that. that—” he stumbles over his words for a moment, expression warping into a confused grimace. “that gross ass dead people building.”

beomgyu exhales a laugh as yeonjun’s head lolls against his shoulder, quietly whining about how his head hurts. while yeonjun is substantially gone already, beomgyu is only on his second beer. scanning the spacious, dim-lit room, he shakes his head. it’s times like these where he does not feel the need to slip into people’s minds — being surrounded by his friends is enough. “nah, man. i don’t think i could keep up. it’s been a while.”

“sure y’could! you’re like th’second best dancer here!” yeonjun says as his torso slumps down against the table. the bartender eyes him from further down the bar top with concern, but beomgyu sates the employee with an apologetic smile, ensuring that he turns away before setting his attention back on his friend.

beomgyu scoffs. “and i’m assuming you’re the first best?”

“uh, obviously. i literally run th’thing,” yeonjun retorts as he glares at him with a single eye open, an ear now resting on top of his crossed arms on the counter.

“yeonjun’s right,” taehyun butts in from the other side of yeonjun’s collapsed body. though his glazed over eyes give away his inebriated state, taehyun’s tolerance tends to lean much higher than yeonjun’s; this fact is confirmed by the crystal clear enunciation of his words as he continues, “you’ve been acting differently ever since you started working there. it wouldn’t hurt to try something new.”

great, even his friends have noticed. exhaling deeply, beomgyu nods.

“yeah, i’ll think about it.” 

as the conversation meanders off into other topics, beomgyu sinks back into his own little world. curse taehyun and his acute perceptiveness. he knows that he’s been acting off, but maybe his friends are right; he once dreamed of being a choreographer, back when he was a teen, before he discovered his love for music production. perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad to try.

unintentionally, he meets the gaze of a girl sitting at a booth with her friends. he quickly averts his gaze, and by the time he looks back up, she has been roped into what seems like a shot-taking contest. six other girls circle the table, one joining the first girl in taking rapid-fire shots, four others egging them on, and one laser-focused on her phone, occasionally sipping water through a straw. from what he can gather, she’s likely the group’s designated driver — though it seems her role has morphed into more of a babysitter. she’s pretty, he’ll admit. just his type. if he was on his third or fourth beer, he’d probably be over there trying to strike up a conversation with her, rather than any of her drunk friends. 

as she looks up and throws a cursory glance around the bar, she catches him staring, her kohl-lined eyes meeting his own. an eyebrow raises as her gloss-coated lips twist, as if to say “don’t even try it.”

oh, how terribly he wishes to slip into her mind and let her know that he has no intention to. 

the ear-piercing screech of yeonjun’s barstool to his right tears his gaze away from her. yeonjun now stands, one arm around taehyun and the other around soobin, the latter sporting a borderline disgusted grimace directed at the older boy hanging off of him while kai simply stands behind the trio of men. yeonjun’s head hangs low below his shoulders, chin nearly touching his chest, as he emits a pathetic groan. at least he’s not puking this time.

“we’re about to go grab some food. this one,” taehyun’s head nods to yeonjun’s sagging frame. “definitely needs it. you coming?”

unwilling to allow the night to end quite yet, beomgyu hums, quickly pays his tab, and allows the brief, silent encounter with the woman to fade away into the back of his mind.

the rest of the weekend passes without fanfare, and monday returns to rear its ugly head once again. monday is beomgyu’s least favorite day of the week; it brings a raging headache from his 5 a.m. alarm, a bone-deep fatigue that lingers for the rest of the day. it brings grumpy commuters whose knees and elbows uncomfortably bump against his own. it brings people who think that he should give up his seat, and silently tell him so with narrowed eyes and furrowed eyebrows. how selfish, they all think whenever he actually bothers to read their thoughts. what a fucking dick, some of them even snarl within the so-called impenetrable walls of their minds, walls he so easily breaks down. he levels those ones with a half-awake glare, pupils gloomy and lifeless. internally, their uneasy reactions make him want to laugh, hysterically cackle in their faces because wow, is he really that scary? he shouldn’t be, but maybe the dark under eyes are doing something for him.

surprisingly, the subway car he frequents is less crowded than usual. not as many people stand in front of him, and he’s actually able to see directly across the car for the first time in a while. doors shut, and he’s left to look around at the regulars and the new patrons that often don’t show up again. they’re easily less interesting than the regulars. really, what can he say? the daily life updates satisfy his nosy tendencies. 

still, he hates mondays. mondays suck. mondays make him want to crawl into a hole and eventually join the bodies at his workplace. they bring out the worst in his mind. all they do is remind him of the neverending cycle that he has trapped himself in — wake up, work, go to sleep, and do it all over again the next day.

mondays bring a lot of things he fundamentally dislikes, but this particular monday also brings you. 

it’s split-second eye contact. nothing more, nothing less. your eyes grow wide, your lips parting just the slightest bit in surprise. though he has not invaded your mind (yet), he can already tell what you are thinking. fuck, he isn’t blind — he knows that he is handsome.

your eyes shoot downward, your head hanging low with your phone clenched between your fingers. one of his eyebrows raises while a small smirk plays on his lips — you’re new, and even better, you’re cute. his dark, seemingly bored gaze trails over to the earbuds nestled in your ears, then to your crossed legs. you glance up at him again, eyes blowing wide again as your thighs press together just enough for him to notice the movement. his own eyes narrow slightly, evaluating the sight. 

you seem...interesting. prim, proper, sitting in a modest-length skirt and a plain blouse and coat that paint you as an unassuming character, just another random person in this sardine can of a train car. yet there’s this glint in your eyes that tells him there is so, so much more to you than what meets the eye — that the innocent, put-together little front that you display to the world is a complete and utter lie. it’s intriguing. new patrons come and go from this particular subway car every day, but you and your fresh face have caught his interest — and so has your odd behavior. 

then, without warning, realization punches him square in the gut.

you were there the other night, with those girls at the bar. the one sitting at the end of the table with the small glass of water as you scrolled through your phone. the one who shot a piercing glare at him as you looked out for your inebriated friends. your current behavior is a far cry from the strong front he first encountered that night, small and oh-so meek and lacking the sharp, piercing edge to your gaze that initially piqued his interest in you. the change, for some reason, intrigues him more. what happened to that feisty glare, that confident air to your posture? he wants to know why you seem so meek, so he taps in to your mind and—

“you’re my dumb little slut, aren’t you? fuckin’ say it—”

beomgyu flinches in his seat, the door to your mind slamming shut as he sits there in shock. did he really just hear that? are you listening to fucking porn on the subway? what the fuck?

he’s never had this happen to him before. he’s accidentally stumbled upon the occasional horny thought before, sure, but listening to porn on the subway? that’s a new one. he decides to give you another glance; your lips are pressed together now, eyes pointed towards the floor as you further shrink into yourself. fuck, you’re so cute, but now he knows you’re also awfully perverted — and for some reason, he feels himself getting hard in his trousers at the thought of entering your mind again. 

he should do something about this little development, shouldn’t he?

yeah, he thinks that he should. a sick sort of curiosity wins over the more logical side of his brain, the side that tells him that he should feel guilty for even thinking about what he’s about to do. he can’t, can he? no, he can — he wants to, he really fucking wants to. opportunities like this don’t just present themselves on a silver platter like this on the regular. if he doesn’t take this chance, then he’d be an absolute fool. 

the subway slows to a stop, the weirdly cheery, robotic voice calling out another stop. not his, thank god. he takes this opportunity to open that pesky little door to your mind again, now fully expecting the depravity echoing in your brain — and rather than do anything drastic too quickly, he simply sits there and listens. he listens through an entire audio alongside you, ignoring the twitch of his cock as he listens to the woman be degraded and praised, in missionary and in doggy, her moans mixing with the man's in a cacophony of pleasure — he loves the way you jump when the sound of a hand striking flesh sounds through your mind. your fleeting sigh of “god, i wish that were me,” causes him to bite his lip. you like being treated like a slut, huh? like a stupid little whore only made to take cock? that’s music to his ears, really — because he likes treating girls like that too. 

as sick and disgusting as it is, he continues to listen as if mindlessly tuning in to a podcast, subtly adjusting himself in his pants as he fights off a raging boner. he wants to be the one to do those things to you. he wants to make you scream and sob and beg for mercy as he completely ravages your body, fuck you until you’re brainless, perfect little slut for him. you’d love that, according to the audios you consume for the remainder of his commute — to be fucked so hard you legs give out from under you, to be owned, fully and completely. he likes that sound of that as well.

a few minutes into the second audio, you take another glance at him, eyes squeezing shut right away once you catch his gaze — and suddenly, your thoughts are full of him. he’s encountered countless strangers who can perfectly visualize their streams of consciousness, and you seem to be yet another one of them. images of you on your knees between his thighs and sucking his cock in the middle of this subway car flood his own mind, switching to one of him fucking you from behind against the wall while everyone else watches, then to him finger fucking you with a hand around your throat…what the fuck. what the fuck? how do you just do that? how do you think of such terribly shameless things while looking so pretty and demure, as if you’re a shy little thing rather than some fucking whore? he shifts his briefcase over his lap again. fuck, he’s so hard it’s starting to hurt. shit, fuck. 

he should be appalled by you, but fiery, ardent lust is the sole emotion that floods his veins. would it be a bad idea to talk to you? no, you want it. you want it so fucking bad. just look at your mind — and he can make all your dirty little fantasies come true, if you would let him. 

just as he’s about to actually do something about you, the subway slows to a stop once again, the same cheery voice announcing his stop. god dammit. pushing himself up to his feet, he finds that you’re doing the same, wide eyes flitting around nervously as you move towards the door and stop nearly right next to him, those earbuds that hide your biggest secret in plain sight still stuck in your ears. he can still hear those degrading words and moans and slapping sounds that still echo through your mind, loud and clear as if those white earbuds are sitting snug in his own ears. 

the doors slide open, and soon enough, he loses sight of you in the surging crowd. stepping out of the subway, he looks around once, twice. you have completely disappeared; nowhere to be found, your mind has grown too far from his own for him to locate nor access, the tether between the two of you frayed to the point of snapping in half. with a brief purse of his lips, he sets off up the stairs. it’s fine, there’s always another day. it’s fine, he tells himself over and over again. there’s nothing he could have done in such a short time, anyway. 

the sun sits high in the sky today, but the bone-chilling air cuts through his puffy coat like tiny needles puncturing his skin, or millions of scalpels slicing open flesh nearly to the bone, cold and sterile and far from comforting. autumn shouldn’t be this cold, and his slightly soured mood isn’t helping his case right now. he should have done something back there, he should’ve opened up the channel between the two of you and taken the plunge. it wouldn’t have hurt to try, but no. no, he let that opportunity go like every other one he’s had in his life. with his jaw set, he promises himself that it won’t happen again. it won’t, because if he keeps living like this — allowing all these opportunities slip through his fingers like grains of sand — he’ll never be able to forgive himself.

and honestly, beomgyu is no clairvoyant, and he should brush off the tickle in his brain as a stupid, naive hunch…but he has a compelling feeling that he’ll be seeing you again tomorrow. 

when beomgyu returns home, the sun slowly sinking towards the horizon, he doesn’t unwind like he usually does. today’s shift was a slow one, with no bodies to preen and primp and no services to set up for, so most of his time was taken up with cleaning, filing documents, and sitting around aimlessly. no matter how much he tried to fend them off, thoughts of you bounced around in his brain for the entire eight hours he was on shift. fuck, he doesn’t even know your name, much less anything else about you, yet he wishes he could travel back in time and redo this morning all over again. he’s not sure how it would have panned out, exactly, but he has a few tricks up his sleeve that would’ve made it exciting.

he shakes his head. the current moment presents much more pressing matters than ruminating on this morning’s terrible decisions; the strain in his trousers proves to be a pertinent issue, a tent formed in the black fabric and aching to be touched. now that the public eye no longer holds his gaze, his apartment door locked shut behind him, he allows himself to give in to his most base instincts. a hand comes down to cup his hardness as he imagines his fingers as yours, you on your knees below him, those adorably wide eyes staring up at him in desperation. you’d wait for permission, right? you’d beg so prettily like a good little slut should? fuck yeah, you would. you’d be good, you’d take what he would give you — and you would love it. 

groaning, he crashes onto his couch, head throwing back against the back cushion as he gropes his cock harder. he’s forgone slipping off his dress shoes and has barely even slipped his coat off before he’s giving in to the pulsing ache in his groin that’s nearly unbearable, the white hot need swirling in his stomach that demands his immediate attention. his belt quickly unbuckled and his trousers pulled halfway down his thighs, he slips his cock from his boxers, gasping at how sensitive he has become. 

“oh fuck,” he breathes out into the quiet air, a shuddered sigh following when his thumb swipes over the angry red head, the bead of precum that has gathered there spreading across his skin. he brings his hand up to his lips, gathering some spit beneath his tongue before letting in loll into his palm. bringing it back down, he drags his hand up and down his shaft, teeth sinking into his bottom lip as pleasure rushes through his veins. he pumps his cock steadily, hips rolling up into his hand as if fucking your throat. eyes fluttering closed, his free hand grips the couch, fingernails digging into the worn leather and leaving half-moon indents in their wake. “fuck. god, fuck.”

would you be able to take him? he’s been told he’s big, most women barely able to take him even after extensive prep. he imagines how you’d keen as he enters you, your back arching so prettily and your walls stretching to their limits to accommodate his size. how you’d choke and gag on his cock if he decided to use your throat, tears streaming down your cheeks as you peer up at him pathetically, fingers digging into your thighs as you resist the urge to touch yourself. would you like to be slapped around a little, punished with spankings and little taps to your cheek? 

“focus,” he mumbles to no one. to you. “focus, slut. be good for me.” 

he’s delirious at this point, has dived so deep into his fantasies that he barely registers that he’s fucking his fist and not your mouth or sweet little cunt. that doesn’t stop his fingers from tightening their grip, squeezing the head before gliding back down again, then back up, the rhythm of his hips growing frenzied as his high inches closer. his free hand smooths up his stomach, taking his button-up with it as he clenches it with desperate fingers. he bites down on the fabric, pumping himself once, twice, three times before his high hits him, his cum spurting out in staccato ribbons. he’s making a mess, but he can’t bring himself to care when this is the best orgasm he’s had in months. the shirt falls from his mouth as he moans unabashedly. 

“take it,” he groans, his hips canting upward. “fuckin’— fuckin’ take it. shit. such a perfect little whore for me.”

he cums and he cums, spilling all over himself until he’s milked dry. eyes closed, his contracted muscles melt into the couch, hot pants replacing his moans and groans. a few minutes pass before he fully comes down from his headspace and returns back to earth, only for him to realize just how much he came, staining his clothes and coating his skin in creamy white. he blinks. 

reality crashes down on his head. 

he just…jerked off to you. he just came so hard he saw stars just from the mere thought of you. oh, he’s in deeper than he first thought. too deep, too quickly, he can barely breathe. 

“fuck,” beomgyu murmurs as he stares down at his cum-covered abdomen, his sticky hand. “fuck.”

beomgyu was right: you do come back the next day. and the next. and the next.

over the remainder of the work week, he watches you — well, more so listens to you, but he can’t deny himself the little glimpses he allows himself to take, drinking in how you worry your bottom lip, how the muscles in your throat contract each time you gulp. the poker face that you don crumbles oh so easily whenever he meets your stray gaze. it’s exhilarating, knowing the power he, a complete stranger, has over you. your microscopic slips in expression remain undetected to the rest of the passengers, but he sees every single one. they’re a perfectly entertaining backdrop for your explicit musings. 

he knows he could approach you like a normal human being would, but where’s the fun in that? he’s not quite a normal person in his own right, anyway. instead, he’s decided to keep you in his sights, learning what exactly you enjoy, what you like to hear, preparing for the day where he again gathers the courage to toy with you within the walls of your mind. he’s in deep, and at this point, he’s accepted it if only to justify his sadistic obsession with you. actually, on second thought, he wouldn’t quite call it an obsession, perhaps a morbid curiosity more than anything. yeah, that’s all it can be.

it’s almost as if the universe has sent him a little present in the form of you, an apology for the trials and tribulations that whatever is above has rained down on him this past year or so. of course he’s going to savor it. who wouldn’t? so he sticks to his plan, and keeps watching you, listening to you, observing you, identifying your little quirks and deepest, darkest desires. they’ll be quite useful later, he’s sure. 

over his…research period, he’s found out a lot about you. you like to be bullied, to be called a slut, a whore, but you also enjoy a little praise mixed in: good slut, good whore, pretty girl is so obedient for sir, for daddy, for master. you’re also not too picky in what you listen to, as long as it contains a male dominant in some capacity. couple’s content, threesomes, gangbangs are all on the table, as are solo audios that usually have some sort of plot to them — coworkers to lovers' first date that ends in sex? check. hot librarian who fucks over a table you after closing? that too. he could go on about what he’s heard in just the solo audios you consume, but even that list would be exhaustive. 

by the time friday rolls around, he doesn’t even have to try to search for your mind; call him crazy, but it’s almost as if you, on some subconscious level, know that he wants in and are more than willing to let him. as if you keep the door cracked open just for him. 

at least, he likes to think that you do. 

staying close, but not too close, to you proves to be difficult today. fridays bring with them a surge of new faces that crowd the subway car, which is generally quite annoying, but at the moment, he also finds it to be frustrating. no seats are open when he boards, he can’t even see you through the dense crowd, but you’re there. your mind is there, open and waiting for him to enter.

though he won’t be able to see your cute little reactions, he steps through that mental threshold. 

“it’s okay, baby. shh, don’t cry, you can cum. cum for me, just let go,” a gentle voice coos. aw, you must be having a rough morning, how sad. the only other day you listened to these kinds of audios, you looked absolutely miserable, the corners of your lips pulled down and a deep, pathetic furrow to your brows — it was wednesday, that’s right. two days ago, when you seemed frazzled and completely out of it. a little digging resulted in him learning that you had spilled your coffee all over the concrete on the way here, you thought your hair didn’t look right (even though, to him, it did, it looked perfect — he wished he could’ve told you that), and worst of all, your boss emailed you late the previous night to admonish you for your performance, demanding a meeting first thing that morning. 

still, he wishes he could take care of your boss, eliminate that weight off of your shoulders. if it were up to him, your boss would be sitting in the morgue at his place of work, gray and comatose and unable to admonish you for things that beomgyu is sure you had no control over. because that’s how offices work, right? sink or swim, big fish eat the little ones, blaming those below them for everything they should be taking responsibility for. your boss has to be one of those. he was pig-nosed and donning a constant sneer when you pictured the verbal berating you’d be getting once you got to your workplace. 

that day, he found himself thinking about how he’s become pretty talented with a scalpel. 

“good girl. doing so well for me, pretty girl,” the same voice soothes, soft cries and sniffles from the submissive mixing with the gentle words. he could treat you all sweet too. he could be anything you want, if only you knew him. 

he wants you to know him — needs you to, really.

there’s no clear cut reason for your current sour mood, your thoughts too jumbled together for him to properly decipher. are you picking apart your appearance? did you wake up late? is this all because of your boss again? he might just kill the bastard if that’s the case…if only he could approach you, tell you that everything will be okay, but he doesn’t want to knock down the house of cards he’s spent such precious time building over the course of the week. you’re too special for that. it’s the very reason why he tries to blend into the crowd, why he tries to keep eye contact to a minimum. the last thing he needs is for you to run away from him when you’re one of the only things holding him together.

when the car slows to his and your stop, disappointment nips at the space between his eyebrows. he didn’t even get to see you today, and the end of the work week means that he won’t be seeing you for two entire days. sighing, he falls into his typical routine: move towards the doors, wait for them to open, and follow the other exiting passengers out. where could you be? you’re still here, he knows that much since he’s still connected to you, still hears those soft words and moans, but where the fuck are you? you, as in your body. that you.

with a single cursory glance around, he swears he catches a glimpse of your figure before the crowd swallows you whole. as he’s shoved towards the stairs by the crowd, his chest grows heavy.

friday has just begun, but monday couldn’t come any faster. 

“so, are you gonna try out?”

yeonjun is far more sober compared to last friday night, his eyes lacking that fatigued droop they always get whenever he’s had too much. beomgyu tears his glazed-over gaze away from the television screen to look at the yeonjun, sinking further into the couch below him. he points to himself. “me?”

yeonjun rolls his eyes, a knee swinging over the arm of the armchair he sits in. “who the fuck else would i be talking to?”

scoffing, beomgyu shoots him a glare. “i don’t know, man. y’don’t have to be a dick about it.”

the open bottle of beer in beomgyu’s hand chills his fingertips, so he switches it to his other hand before taking another sip. meanwhile, soobin plops down next to him with an already open bag of chips, offering some to him. he shakes his head, and soobin shrugs, beginning to munch on them by himself. 

“i’m serious though,” yeonjun continues. “you should really try out. there’s not much to it, just dance to one song and you’re done. i’d probably pass you even if you sucked.”

“that’s nepotism,” taehyun chimes in from the floor, eyes trained on the screen as he shoots a player down in the game him and kai are currently obsessed with. the sound of gunfire fills the living room of soobin and yeonjun’s apartment, the murmurs of the two boys a low drone beneath it as they figure out their best strategy to win. 

he almost wishes he lived here with soobin and yeonjun, or with the other two. yeonjun and soobin, taehyun and kai — only beomgyu lives alone. alone doesn’t necessarily mean lonely, but in beomgyu’s case, it does. maybe that’s why he’s latched onto you so hard: to cure his loneliness. he swats that thought away like one would a pesky mosquito. he hasn’t latched onto you, he admonishes himself, he’s simply curious. yeah, curious. 

just a little innocent curiosity. 

disregarding taehyun’s comment, yeonjun raises an eyebrow towards beomgyu. “i know i was drunk when i said that shit last week, but you really have been acting weird since you started at that job. we’ve all noticed.”

“yeah, it’s like you’ve gotten more reserved, or something,” soobin says, words muffled by his chewing. beomgyu grimaces, shifting closer to the arm of the couch. 

“you’re the most introverted one here, you can’t say shit,” kai snorts. soobin throws a chip at his head.

“anyway,” yeonjun butts in with a scalding glare before an argument can begin. soobin and kai blanch, mouths closing. “we’re just…concerned about you.”

“is this some kind of intervention?” beomgyu laughs, disbelief apparent in his tone. he’s fine. he has you now.

“no, we just want you to know that there’s other things you could do that would make you happier than work at a fucking funeral home,” taehyun says, eyes still not straying from the tv. 

“like joining my dance crew,” yeonjun tacks on. 

beomgyu sighs. they’re kind of right, if he’s being honest with himself, but is he ready to put himself out there again? is he ready to face the potential of rejection, of failure? he’s had his life fall apart in front of his eyes once already, what if it happens again?

“...i guess.”

“c’mon.” yeonjun shifts around until he’s leaning on his elbows, focus solely on beomgyu. “tryouts are next saturday. i know how fast you can learn choreography. hell, you could probably learn something in a couple hours and be fine.”

“honestly, you’ll never know if you don’t try,” soobin chimes in. “it might end in something good.”

“yeah,” beomgyu says before taking another large swig of beer. “yeah, i know.”

and so another weekend passes, and monday returns once again. 

soobin’s brief, sage advice plays through his mind again and again. although he understands that soobin meant for it to apply to his current career situation, beomgyu has adopted it for his situation with you instead. he should try, he’s going to try, eventually. 

it might end in something good, he tells himself over and over again. he has to try.

mondays are a bit less excruciating now that you’re around. he has only known you for a week, but it’s been long enough to know that you make his day-to-day routine bearable — hell, he’ll stay at his terrible job as long as you keep showing up each morning. the day that you don’t will be the nail in his coffin — he chuckles at his stupid joke. yeonjun is rubbing off on him too much.

the sky is overcast today, and endless expanse of gray that contrasts the warmth of the changing leaves that line the sidewalk. it might rain soon, he surmises, but he hopes that it won’t. he’s forgone an umbrella today. digging his hands further into his coat pockets, he ducks into the subway station, descending the stairs and weaving through the crowd until he finds his usual platform. when he gets there, you’ve already arrived, ears vacant of those white earbuds, but it’s not a foreign sight to him. you typically put them in once you sit down. the fact that you get on and get off at the same stop as him…he almost likes to think of all of this as fate. 

maybe the universe really is trying to apologize. 

the subway arrives at the platform a few minutes later — minutes in which he tries not to stare at you. he’s not a creep, he swears that he’s not. he’s not a creep, he’s not a creep — he repeats this to himself as he follows behind you into the subway car the two of you frequent, he finds a seat across from you a few feet to your left. he can’t be too obvious.

and most importantly, he’s not a creep. 

you dig around in your bag. ah, here come those infamous earbuds, he’s sure of it — but then they don’t, and then the digging through your bag grows a degree more frantic, your lips parting as you continue shoving whatever is in there aside in search of your most precious possession.

you feel like crying as panic surges through your veins. oh god, you forgot them. how could you have forgotten them? what are you going to do now? 

beomgyu decides to tap into your mind in that moment, finding you in an unbelievably frazzled state. his heart clenches in his chest, he wishes he could help somehow…

wait. he could…oh my god, he could. no, that’s sick, he’s not a creep — well, no, he could. he definitely fucking could, and you’d probably end up liking it…

he could be your temporary replacement for today — no, he could become your constant source, the one you need to get through the day. he could become your audios. he wants to. they’d be far more…interactive, if he did, after all. you’d love what he could do to your pretty fucking body just with access to your mind. reading thoughts isn’t the only thing he can do — and soobin’s right: he’ll never know if he doesn’t try. how could he sit here any longer and not give in to his burning desire to ravage you? you know what? fuck it. this is the perfect opportunity, served up once again on a silver platter, waiting for him to take. he’s not going to let it slip away again — and oh, you just look so devastated right now, how terrible would he be if he didn’t help you?

in a split-second moment, beomgyu decides that today is the day. deep breath. focus. okay, he can do this. one, two, three…

“hello, pretty girl.”

you flinch before you look up and around, only to find no one is looking at you — well, he is, but through his peripherals. wouldn’t want to get caught, would he? suppressing a smirk at your reaction, he shifts in his seat.

“was someone just talking to me?” you ask yourself, brows furrowing as your eyes continue to dart around. your hand comes up to your ear to see if you accidentally remembered your earbuds, your frown deepening when you register that they are, indeed, not in your ears. glancing around again, your eyes skirt over his form. he shivers at the thought of what’s to come, biting his lip as he avoids your gaze. “is this some sort of prank?”

“calm down, sweetheart, this isn’t a prank. now, stop looking around, you’re the only one who heard me.”

your brain flits from thought to thought so quick he can barely keep up, the volume of them rising as you panic. your fingers clench the strap of your purse as if to ground yourself. “am i hallucinating right now? what the fuck? this has to be a prank. should i go to the doctor’s? no, my boss would kill me if i called out, but fuck, i should really go if i’m hearing things—”

beomgyu chuckles, the sound echoing through your mind as well. freezing, your muscles lock up as you look around again. your distressed stream of consciousness stops for a moment, before resuming at a much more rapid pace. “what the fuck, i need to call out right now, where’s my phone—”

sighing, he leans back into his seat and closes his eyes. so cute, how easily you spiral. “quiet that pretty little head of yours, pretty girl. you’re not hallucinating, this is all real. very real.”

a few moments pass before your internal freakout quiets down. for once, silence fills your mind…and rather than him break it, it’s you: “someone’s…talking to me through my mind? this is real?”

“such a smart girl. you figured it out so quickly,” beomgyu taunts, resisting the urge to coo again. adrenaline rushes through his veins, urging him to continue. you need him. he can make you happy. he just needs to hear you say it.

your thighs press together at the praise, fingers digging into the trousers you had chosen to wear. you shouldn’t be feeling like this. this is strange, terribly strange, and even a little frightening, now that you are aware that someone — that a complete stranger, at that — has full reign over your conscious. yet, at the same time, you’re curious to see how this will play out.

“and you can speak to me, too, if you focus hard enough…” his voice trails off. okay, you can do that. allowing your eyelids to flutter shut, you begin to breathe deeply until even the mechanical noises of the subway and the murmurs of passengers vacate your senses. mind empty, you exhale a shaky breath. focus. stay focused. 

“hmm, impressive. you’re a natural at this.” god, he needs to quit praising you like that with his deep voice. by the way he laughs, you know he heard that too. fuck. 

“who are you and why the fuck are you in my brain?” you decide to ask. straight to the point, no fluff to it, it’s reminiscent of your attitude at the bar where he first laid eyes upon you. this is the wall you put up towards strangers and any other threat to your life, but little do you know, beomgyu’s breached that wall already. this is just a little front. “answer me, you fucking asshole—”

“woah, woah, watch the language. why would i tell you who i am? it’s much more exciting this way, don’t you think?” the smile in his voice is unmistakable, but he purses his lips to keep them from curling upward. 

you start to gnaw on your bottom lip, biting hard enough for pain to bloom across your nerve endings. this is stranger you’re talking to right now, a stranger who you’re talking to through your fucking thoughts. this is weird. you never signed up for this. “get the hell out of my mind before— before i—” 

“before you what? can’t kick me out, you don’t know how to do that, pretty girl.”

fuck, he’s right — wait, if he’s in your mind right now, can he also control it? is he going to hurt you? is he going to make you his puppet and go on a murder spree? is he in this car with you, or somewhere else? what if…what if…

beomgyu can almost feel your panic swelling in his own chest. fuck, he needs to put a stop to your spiraling before it gets out of control. if you freak out now, then all of his work over the past week will be for naught. after all, he’s not going to do anything without your permission. the last thing he wishes to do is scare you off completely before he can have his fun. with great urgency, he cuts off your ramblings, “hey, now, relax for me, princess. i’m not going to hurt you. i’m as human as you are, just a bit…different, i guess. and i am in the same car as you right now.”

rather than respond, you look around again, eyeing every single man around you with suspicion, even him. he stares at the floor, maintaining what he hopes to be a neutral, borderline bored, expression. he needs to keep it together. he’s gotten this far, he can’t ruin this. “looking around again, huh? if i were that easy to spot, then this game wouldn’t be very fun, would it?” 

“game? fucking with my mind is a game to you?” 

the corners of his lips twitch up before he’s forcing them back down. this is it, the moment he has been waiting oh so patiently for. keep it together.

“well, not really — i actually have a proposition for you, if you’d hear me out.”

scoffing, you urge him along. “just get on with it.”

“so impatient. that’s okay. i can work with that,” he smirks. “i know what you listen to every morning, you know.”

your heart drops to your stomach. he what? oh god, you think you’re going to be sick. your arms wrap around your stomach, squeezing hard. this is bad, this is really fucking bad. “do you want money, or something? are— are you trying to blackmail me right now? i’ll have you know, i’m actually kinda broke right now. i really don’t wanna end up homeless, can you just. pick someone else to fuck with? there’s like twelve different businessmen in this car, i’m sure they’re rich and corrupt—”

beomgyu’s brows raise imperceptibly. jesus, are you always this flighty? “woah, chill. i’m not here to judge you — or blackmail you, for that matter. i’m not evil. aw, don’t look all shameful now. i told you i’m not here to judge — i actually wanna help you, if you’d let me.”

“help me?” you dumbly echo. “help me how?”

“well,” he starts. “i noticed you forgot your earbuds today, and you just looked so sad and lost without them. how else are you going to get through your commute? and then i thought maybe i could do something about that. y’know, help you out, get you through the morning.”

“so you invaded my privacy just to tell me that you wanna dirty talk to me for the rest of my commute? is that what you mean? ‘cause if so, that’s pretty weird,” you reply, though your stray thoughts that dart around tell him that you’re actually considering his offer — it’s tempting, isn’t it? to give in, to let his deep voice get you all squirmy and needy, knowing he could be anyone in this subway car. still, your words make him laugh, because of course you’re deflecting right now. it’s okay, he hasn’t given you the full story quite yet.

“that’s only part of my offer, princess,” he starts. “i can read minds, yes, but i can also do…other things.”

oh, you’re really considering it now. maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to let him. his voice is nice, and maybe, just maybe, it’s kind of making you horny. after a deep, long breath, you gulp once, then, with curiosity dripping from your tone, you ask, “...like what?”

jackpot.

beomgyu’s high on a mix of adrenaline and dopamine, utterly giddy because he’s got you right where he wants you, where he needs you. he’s played his cards just right, shoved your worries to the side and drew out your curiosity enough that you’ve taken his bait. perfect, oh, this is perfect. he knew you’d be good for him.

“it would be much easier for me to show you.”

“then show me,” you immediately reply, heat flooding your cheeks at the sheer desperation in your voice. god, calm down. he hasn’t even done anything yet.

chuckling at your internal conflict, he decides not to comment. “tell me if you don’t like something. i’ll stop.” he watches as you slightly nod to yourself, a soft “okay,” echoing through your head and into his — thus, he sets his plan into action. 

something warm caresses your calf, but when you look down, there’s nothing there. your eyes widen — was that a hand? it definitely felt like one, the way it creeped up the back of your leg, calloused fingertips pressing into your skin. a shiver races down your spine. that had to have been him. 

“it was,” he confirms, then his voice is growing impossibly deeper, adopting that gruff edge that you love so much. “you want more, princess? i can give you more.”

another phantom hand skirts over your waist, dragging down over your hips to your right thigh, just to stop there. biting your bottom lip, you nod, hoping that whoever is in your head right now sees it, wherever he is. the hand moves to your inner thigh; despite how tightly pressed together they are, it skirts over your skin with ease, seemingly beneath your trousers. “i need words, pretty girl, or i might just stop right now. and we wouldn’t want that, would we?”

no, you wouldn’t, not at this point. the unbearable ache currently building in your core makes you want to cry; you haven’t felt this level of desperation in a while, and you need to be touched. you need it so fucking bad. 

“please.” the single word comes out meek, quiet. shame flushes your face, a fiery heat that spreads up to your ears and down your neck. 

you hear the way his breath shudders, causing your own hitch. “fuck, you’re so cute, but i need more than that. beg. beg for me to touch you.”

his voice — fuck, his voice is so deep, so dark and wanton. you wonder what he sounds like when he’s moaning, how he would sound if he fucked you, pounded you into the mattress so hard you saw stars. the image of a faceless stranger fucking you from behind, your back arched behind you and your face buried in the sheets, as he holds your wrists behind your back flits across the big screen of your mind. you shake it away, but the man in your head is already tutting. “use your words, sweetheart, not pictures — though i’d love to do that to you too. you’ve got quite the imagination on you.” 

beomgyu’s cock twitches in his boxers as you whine, frantic pleas bubbling up from the deepest, darkest recesses of your mind once he takes the sensation of his hand away from your thigh. you sound halfway dumb already, begging for his hands, his cock, his tongue — anything. you’ll take anything just, “please, sir. please touch me. need you to touch me so bad.”

you don’t even know who he is, yet you’re being so obedient, calling him sir, begging so sweetly for him — it’s like you’re begging straight into his ear. his heart swells at the thought, as does his cock. you sound so pretty, but he finds himself wishing he could hear these words come from your lips instead. 

“yeah? my little slut needs more?” he prods, laughing meanly when you whimper out a yes. “aw, ‘course she does. desperate whores always need more, don’t they? so greedy.”

you have to swallow down a whimper at that, focusing so intently on keeping quiet that your nails have dug into your palms deep enough to almost break skin. the pain seems to help keep you grounded — that is, until you feel the sting of a palm against your backside. you flinch in your seat, gasping sharply. the man sitting next to you glances over, but you only hang your head and shrink into yourself. he looks away. 

“focus, whore. you’re drawing too much attention to yourself.”

two hands are touching you now. one cupping your pussy, the other wrapped around your throat, pressing into the sides of your neck so you start to grow dizzy. the hand on your throat releases its grip to slide down to your chest, circling around one of your nipples before a thumb swipes over the pebbled flesh. your back arches off of your seat when the sensation morphs into that of lips, plush warmth enveloping your tit before the sharp bite of teeth interrupts. you inhale a shaky breath from your nose as lips return to soothe the sting. despite the hard press of your thighs, the hand on your pussy drags up and down your folds, dipping down to your entrance before dragging up to your clit. a tiny squeak sneaks up your throat before you’re masking it with a cough. 

“aren’t you just a sensitive little thing? so wet too,” he coos, shifting his briefcase over his lap to gain some semblance of friction. his fingertips tingle as if your wetness coats them right now. fuck, he’s hard. if it were up to him, you’d be taking his cock right now, moaning so prettily as he presses you up against the wall and fucks up into you, your legs giving out from under you because he’s just making you feel so good, isn’t he? never mind that, he has a job to do. “how about i just…”

two lithe fingers breach your walls while a thumb continues to slowly circle your clit, barely brushing over the sensitive bundle of nerves. you feel like you’re going insane, trying your best to hold still as his fingers begin to move inside you, curling up into your walls. searching, he’s searching for that spot inside you that will get you crying—

then he finds it. 

your knee jerks up, your legs falling open slightly before you’re pressing them closed again as he abuses it over and over again, crooking his fingers just right to find it with each thrust. your hips roll up into the sensation, stilling as soon as you realize that you’re squirming too much, being too obvious. people are starting to stare, calm down. calm the fuck down.

god, you don’t think you can. it’s too difficult to keep still with the way he’s finger-fucking you right now. with the way there’s lips suddenly circling your clit, sucking the pearl in so that his tongue can play with it. little kitten licks that make you want to scream and cry and beg for mercy because you don’t know if you can keep up this front of normalcy with the way he’s touching you.

it’s like he’s speaking directly into your ear right now, warm breath fanning over your earlobe, your cheek. “wanna see you fall apart, wanna see you lose it in front of all of these people, baby. bet you wanna cum right now, yeah? just wanna feel good, don’t even care if you quake and cry in public? you’re that fucking desperate for it?” 

you nod to yourself, eyes squeezing shut. you’re so close. oh god, you’re going to cum. you’re going to cum like a brainless whore in the middle of a fucking subway car. you’re sick. you’re fucking sick for enjoying this.

you’re just as bad as him, beomgyu decides. he knew you’d like what he could give you, he knew you needed him. it was just a matter of time before you realized that fact. that’s okay, because he needs you just as badly. it’s a carnal need, white hot in the center of his stomach — fuck, he’s obsessed with you. he wants you to be his forever. 

and beomgyu knows you’re close, but he’s not quite ready to give you what you want. 

“please, oh god. please let me cum. fuckfuckfuck— no, please don’t stop!” you cry as he slows the pace of his fingers. “please no, ‘m so close! no no no—”

“you drive me crazy, it’s only fair if i return the favor. makes it more fun.” ripping the sensation away from you completely, he watches you bottom lip tremble as you blink back tears, your body melting into your seat as the pleasure fades away. “now, now, don’t cry, sweetheart. i have something even better for you.”

a few seconds pass before something breaches your entrance, your walls stretching to their limit, yet the sting of pain never arrives. filled to the brim, you throw your head back against the window behind you. to others, you seem to just be resting your eyes, but the way your mouth falls open is not lost on beomgyu. he knows you can feel him everywhere, knows you can feel the way the head of his cock nearly touches your cervix, how it presses into every single sensitive spot inside you. he knows he’s big, but you take it like a champ, your hips grinding down into the seat, as if to bring him deeper inside you. what a little whore, his little whore. 

“y’feel that, pretty girl? feel my big fucking cock inside you?” he asks as your chest heaves, a feeble attempt in holding yourself together. “calm down, now. i’m gonna start moving, okay?”

he doesn’t wait for your response before he’s spoon-feeding you the sensation of his cock pulling out until nothing but his cockhead remains within your walls. a few seconds pass, then your begging returns. tearful, this time, fucking pathetic. he basks in the power that rushes through his entire being. you need him. you need him in order to feel good, and he loves that you do. he brings a hand down to adjust himself in his pants, hissing quietly at the ache that the action brings. he needs to fuck you right now. physically fuck you, none of this thought manipulation bullshit — but no, he has to be patient. he can be patient as long as it’s you. 

the subway is slowing down again, and he comes to the gross realization that he only has a few minutes before both of you must depart. dammit, he has to make this quick. 

meanwhile, you’re already halfway to your high just at the mere feeling of him inside you. as soon as his cock begins to move again, you’re choking back moans, head hanging low as your muscles tense and your hands press into your lap. you can feel him in your throat each time he thrusts back in, his thrusts growing faster and faster until he’s pounding into you. 

“fuck fuck fuckkkkk!” you wail, encouraging him to continue. in reality, your walls clench around nothing, but your mind paints a different picture. you almost beg for him to cum inside, but you cant find the words, too fucked out to think about anything else but the knot in your stomach that grows tighter with each passing second. “fuck, please. please, fuck i’m, nghh—”

imaginary fingers swipe across your clit, and you’re a goner. 

thighs quaking, your release coats your panties, walls fluttering, but the movement of his cock doesn’t stop until you’re begging for mercy. beomgyu almost cums in his pants at the depraved wails you emit, half-baked sentences pleading for him to “s-slow down, please. i can’t, no, i can’t — shit!”

finally — finally — he grants you reprieve from the onslaught of pleasure. your body slumps into your seat, your eyes shut as you begin to float back down to earth. the clack-clack-clack of the subway slows until it stops completely. the usual robotic voice announces his stop, but you seem so out of it that you don’t even register that you need to get off. 

“good job, baby. you put on quite the show for me,” he praises as he rises to his feet. luckily, he decided on wearing a longer coat today which he uses to cover up his raging hard-on. this has to be fate.

no response. with an excited gleam in his eye, he disconnects from your mind and moves towards you. looming above you, he drinks in the beads of sweat that have formed along your hairline, the wrinkles in your trousers where you gripped the fabric a wee bit too hard, your dreamy eyes and how they blink down at his black loafers before raising to meet his own. concern has painted itself across his features, his head tilting as he holds your bleary gaze.

“are you alright, miss? you look a bit ill.”

you blink once. twice. god, how are you so cute even after getting fucked so hard? he can barely control himself from blurting out who he is.

“what—what stop is this?” you ask him, eyes wide and red-rimmed from your earlier tears. he tells you, and he watches those same eyes widen. “oh shit, this is my stop!”

attempting to stand, you stumble straight into his chest. he catches you with gentle hands before he’s helping you steady yourself. your legs tremble like those of a newborn fawn, sexy yet terribly adorable. he gulps at the image of you unable to walk, legs so sore that you’re forced to let him dote on you, that forms inside his mind. later. that can come later, don’t get too hasty. 

“oh, you’re a bit shaky there,” he murmurs, a hand curling around you elbow when you stumble again. “are you sure you’re alright?”

“i’m f-fine, sorry for the trouble,” you reply with a polite, yet jittery, smile, stepping away from him. he wants to tell you to come closer again, he wants to smell your sweet perfume again, feel your warm skin beneath his fingertips. 

but good things come to those who wait.

“no worries.” with a charming smile, he shuffles beside you, until the two of you have exited with the rest of the crowd. he catches your wrist before you can get too far, and you turn to face him once more. afterglow looks wonderful on you. “it looks like we’re getting off at the same stop today, so would you like me to walk with you until you’re feeling a bit better? i’m sure some fresh air will do you good.”

you pause for a moment, hesitating. have you seen him somewhere before? you feel like you have. “i…that would be great, actually. thank you.”

“of course,” he nods, holding back a smirk. he can’t help the words that escape him next.

“lead the way, then…pretty girl.”

the way you look back at him with alarmed realization — even a hint of fear — causes a grin to split open his lips. you begin to sputter as you back away, but he merely follows with light, casual steps. “w-what, who—who are you—”

his smile grows knife-sharp. the door opens — it always does. 

“aw, c’mon, sweetheart,” he coos inside your mind, biting his lip as he watches your knees buckle. “who else could it be?”

© to agustdiv1ne. do not copy, repost, steal, and/or translate.

[torukmaktoskxawng]

Hi anla! are you comfortable writing a Tsireya x fem! Omatikaya! reader where reader is very tough and intimidating and is quiet and prefers to spend time alone. Tsireya finds her by the water one time instead of being with her family and tries to talk to her but gets blown off— she then makes it her mission to get close to reader and after a while reader lets her?? idk maybe some cute slow burn romance? thank you and ur writing is sooo good!

Pairing: Tsireya/Fem!Reader (Sully daughter, lol)

Word Count: 1,572

Warnings: Cuteness overload? Small mention of violence? Hinted courting? Not sure what else, but this was written on my phone, so it's not in my best element and is also shorter than I wanted.

Taglist: @mooniequeen @avatar-lover @taronyuhunter

A/n: I definitely played into the unspoken fact that Na'vi, or at least Forest Na'vi, are basically cats 😅

~~~~~~~~~

When you first brushed off Tsireya's friendly conversation, the chief's daughter was beside herself all night thinking she had done something wrong, wondering why anyone wouldn't want a new friend in a strange, foreign place far away from home. Tsireya knew that if she was in your place, she'd be desperate for new friends to keep herself sane so she wouldn't feel as homesick.

Needless to say it was a little hurtful and confusing when you completely ignored her attempts at befriending you. You, the sibling born between Kiri and Lo'ak, didn't appear interested in anyone or anything other than your space. Your brothers and sisters, who are way more outgoing and eager to befriend Tsireya and the other reef children, don't even appear bothered by your mannerisms. Tsireya decided to ask Lo'ak why that was.

According to your younger brother, you have always been this way. You kept to yourself and only made time for family when you absolutely had to.

"What about friends?" Tsireya had asked, bewildered.

Lo'ak simply shrugged, "She considers us her friends, too."

That baffled the reef girl to no end. How can someone not want to find friends outside of her own family? Wouldn't you get tired of them and need to talk to someone outside of your circle of relatives? Tsireya can understand having boundaries but to this extreme? It both confused and intrigued her.

No longer hurt by your behavior, her curiosity had gotten the better of Tsireya. Even though you were a little intimidating, it didn't sway her from trying to hang out with you more.

She first started by just simply staying by your side. She didn't talk or anything, just sat or walked by your side, regardless of the side glances you gave her. Despite wanting to fill any awkward silence between the two of you, she kept quiet and instead just tried to get you used to her presence, wanting you to at least trust and feel comfortable around her. Whenever you side-eyed Tsireya, she simply smiled and ignored how put-off and tough you looked.

Lo'ak had never seen a cat before in his life, but from what his father had told him, you were very much like one. Jake affectionately compared you to a stray cat all the time, even more so than Spider. To gain your trust, someone would need to have unlimited patience and kindness. No one outside of your family had ever tried and if they did, gave up too easily. Spider was the only exception. Growing up together, you silently considered him your family just as much as your siblings.

However, while watching Tsireya try to approach you with her silent tactics, Lo'ak couldn't help but agree with his father about the stray cat's comment.

Once it's safe to assume you didn't care whether or not Tsireya was hanging out with you, she moved on to small, teeny tiny talks. She does this by complimenting you.

"Your hair is really beautiful today."

"I love that bracelet Tuk made for you. It compliments your eyes."

"You're amazing at fishing!"

It was... like walking on thin ice. You didn't say anything back, but your expression made you look wary of the compliments. If your hair wasn't hiding them, Tsireya would've seen the dark blush that enveloped them. Once you are no longer entirely put off by this step of conversing with you, the chief's daughter starts letting you in on all of her village gossip.

"Don't let Rotxo know I told you this, but he's very infatuated with Kiri."

"My mother had to treat one of our deep divers who thought it was a good idea to wrestle with his own tsurak."

"Our best singer thinks she can fool everyone by always wearing a shawl, but we all know she's trying to hide her growing belly."

You never say anything in response to the gossip, but Tsireya didn't miss the way your ears twitched, letting her know that you were listening to her, regardless of how you felt about village rumors. It made her smile, knowing that you were paying attention. She hadn't realized, but Tsireya had found herself enjoying talking to you, even though you never responded. What was once an attempt to get you to like her ended up being something that she ended up liking about you. Tsireya is one who is never at a loss for words and has even been told at times -mostly by her brother- that she talks too much. So to have someone not say a word but she knows is listening to every word she says was heartwarming, to say the least.

The curiosity and drive to be your friend slowly turned into an infatuation when she got you to smile for the first time.

She had boldly decided to gift you something but knew that it wouldn't be genuine if she didn't make something that you liked. Instead of jewelry, she made a small shell ornament meant to go on the front of your ikran's harness. When she handed you the gift, she felt as though the air had been stolen from her lungs at the sight of your smile.

It was small, but it was definitely there. You had what Lo'ak and Spider would use to call a "resting bitch face" and so any other emotion you expressed was easy to place. Tsireya found herself wanting to weave your smile into her memory, to swim to the Cove of the Ancestors as fast as possible to connect to the Spirit Tree and have your smile forever remembered by Eywa.

"I don't know why you like her so much," Ao'nung comments as he and his sister do their morning chores. He visibly shivers with his usual, permanent scowl ebbed on his face, an expression he most definitely inherited from Ronal, "She looks like she could rip my throat out with her teeth."

Poor, sweet, innocent Tsireya found herself shocked as something warm and pleasant rolled in her stomach, the image of you being so ferocious sending a weak chill down her spine. Unbeknownst to Ao'nung, his sister was in a dilemma, beside herself as to why it pleased her at the mere thought of you being able to end someone just by using your teeth. Trying to hide the growing blush rising to her face, Tsireya kept her head down and purposely focused on the fishing net she was mending. 

"She's strong and fierce," the reef girl simply states, "And she's a good listener."

Ao'nung squints at her, baffled and put off by Tsireya's observation of you, but doesn't comment further.

But this strange friendship between you and his sister only baffled him further when the next time all of the reef children and Sullys were working together to build a strong canoe. You had approached the group, much to everyone's surprise, and held your hand out to the chief's daughter.

"Reya..."

All eyes quickly glance between you and Tsireya, not sure who everyone should be looking at. Rotxo and Ao'nung's jaws drop, never knowing what your voice sounded like before now. Ao'nung is even more affronted by the nickname you gave his sister. No one calls her that.

Tsireya's face visibly brightens as if you had just shown her the stars for the first time. Standing up to join you, she holds her hand out as you place something down in the center of her palm. 

Your smile had returned as she drew close, faint and perhaps a bit shy, but it was present and it made her heart skip a beat as you whispered, "A piece of the Omatikaya."

You drew your hand away and then quickly turned around, walking back down the beach from the way you came. Tsireya nearly whined when she could no longer feel the heat that naturally radiated from your skin before remembering the item now nestled in her hand. Looking down, she uncurls her fingers and gasps quietly.

It was a beautiful choker made out of red and orange beads, tied tightly together, meant to climb up her neck and make her look taller, something similar to what she'd seen Neteyam and Neytiri wear. She had never worn anything with such bright, warm colors, reminding her of the fire in your yellow, piercing eyes. Without a second thought, she removed her own necklace and replaced it with yours, her fingers shaking with excitement as she clasped it around her neck. Beaming proudly, she turned back to your siblings and the other reef children to show off your gift, and while some of them were speechless, Tuk wasn't the least bit surprised by the exchange she had witnessed and squealed.

"It looks so pretty on you! I was watching her make that for hours and couldn't wait to see how it turned out!"

The young Na'vi girl's statement had everyone finally blinking from their shock, Rotxo even going as far as complimenting Tsireya's new necklace while your siblings and even Ao'nung all looked at one another with wary suspicion. Ao'nung waited until Tsireya was caught up speaking adamantly to Tuk and Rotxo before he snapped quietly at the other Sully siblings.

"What in Eywa's name was that??"

Lo'ak's jaw tightens but he doesn't say a word, briefly remembering another fun fact about cats that his father once told him. Something about what it means when a cat likes or trusts another animal or person, they tend to start gifting things like dead rodents. 

He visibly shivers, hoping his sister won't go as far as to start bringing dead things to Tsireya.

~~~~~~~~~

MASTERLIST

RULES

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[stxrvel]

i don't wanna live forever (1)

summary: reader couldn't stop having deaths in her life ever since the Supersoldier serum came into her life. no matter how hard she tried to stay sane, it seemed that life didn't want to give her a break. until, one afternoon, she learned that one of her old friends was alive… (you guys know im bad at summaries, but please give this one a chance)

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

words: +4.5k

warnings: angst, major character deaths, canon deaths¿?, bad words, english is not my first language! thoughts of revenge and death, this is like an introductory chapter, so the buckyxreader interaction is low, but it'll get better, i promise!

note: holy fuck guys. i just spent like five hours writing and editing this and i fucking love it. its been a while since ive been this proud of a work, im actually scare the emotion will disappear, but i really want to rejoice in this one. i wanted to write something a little different from my usuals, maybe a little common in the fanfiction world, but i started and i simply could not stop (or maybe just approach this bucky fic from another perspective). so this is the first part and i'll try with all my heart to keep this going because it was fucking insane, at least for me. i really hope you all like this as much as i do! feel free to leave any comment! thanks always for all the support!! see you next time <3

part 2 ; part 3 ; part 4

When you went into the Supersoldier serum project with Steve, you thought you were going to change the world. Of course, at that time when technology was relatively new any invention felt like the beginning of a new era. That's how it was all sold to you and it was how you expected everything to turn out… Until you realized that it was all really a waste of effort and time.

They were just propaganda for war. Not to stop it, to promote it. To motivate it.

You tried, on several occasions, not to think too much about it. You tried to stay out of it as Steve sometimes asked you to, even though even he didn't want to, as Bucky asked you to when you lay on his shoulder to cry in the little time you had free between trips. It was a great burden of guilt and helplessness.

Until you and Steve, with the almost imposed help of Peggy and Howard, rescued Bucky from the evil hands of Johann Schmidt and his nefarious organization, HYDRA, that, unbeknownst to you, would haunt you for a long time to come. It was only after that, after spending several sleepless days on edge thinking about what might be happening to Bucky, that you and Steve were finally able to go out and contribute something. Destroy HYDRA and the Red Skull's plans.

Of course, you realized that not everything could go right when, the one mission you couldn't attend, Bucky didn't return. And then Steve didn't come back either.

“Do you think this will ever end?” you had asked Bucky the day before his last mission.

“Of course it will,” he had answered without hesitation, moonlight illuminating his clear eyes, squeezing your hand as if it was all he wanted to do for the rest of his life. “And after that we can begin to live as it should be.”

But there was no after that, because you never recovered from losing him. From losing them both.

“Are you okay?” Peggy approached, in the middle of the afternoon when the sun was streaming through the stained glass windows of the church, illuminating the spot where Steve's empty coffin had been, because they didn't even find his body. They didn't even think there was any of it left.

You barely moved your head to acknowledge her presence, moving the prayer slip they had recited throughout the mass between your hands. Your eyes were crystallized, in tears that no longer even made the effort to flow, because you had already spent too many days and nights crying. Peggy had been on the other side of the church, sitting next to Howard while the priest spoke, because you had refused to be near them in those moments. You didn't want to be near them.

“As well as one can be,” you slurred, finding that it had been a long time since you'd last used your voice for anything other than cursing and crying disconsolately.

The people had already left, probably an hour or more ago. The empty coffin had already been brought out, all the flower arrangements had been picked up, and the priest was preparing for the evening mass. You knew you had to leave, you knew Peggy and Howard were there waiting for you, but you felt stuck at that moment. You didn't want to leave, you didn't want to get ahead, you didn't want that life if it had to be this cruel.

You heard Peggy's sigh, before she took a seat next to you, a short distance away, averting her gaze to look at Christ on the cross.

You didn't know if you were selfish to be so closed off to your friends at this moments, because they must be grieving as much as you were, but you didn't know how to deal with the future possibilities. Bucky and Steve, great men and soldiers, one even with enhanced abilities, had not been able to make it through the punishment of war. What if Peggy and Howard were the same? What if they too had the cruel fate of dying at the hands of injustice? Could you deal with that? With everyone gone?

Maybe you could open up to them a little more because if not, who else? Turning away from them was not going to ensure their survival in this hate-filled society. Maybe you could protect them, like you couldn't protect Steve and Bucky. Maybe you could make a difference, because you had the chance to.

“You know,” Peggy spoke again, rearranging herself on the bench and crossing her legs, “Steve always knew this was how it would end.”

Her wistful, mournful, fragile voice sent a shiver through your body. Peggy didn't consider herself someone to show herself vulnerable in front of others no matter how close they were, even in those things that hurt her the most, in those things that affected her personally and made her eyes water instantly, she always tended to shut down. And at that moment you didn't dare interrupt her because you knew it would probably be the only time she would talk about Steve in a long time.

“Sometimes we'd talk, between tour trips, and he would tell me that wasn't what he wanted to do, even when he had to convince you otherwise,” her clasped hands would occasionally squeeze between words, blinking rapidly to fight back the tears. “He didn't know if he'd made the right decision.”

You could almost picture him, backstage at the foot of the stairs with that notebook he carried everywhere and wouldn't let go, Peggy at his side nostalgic, as helpless as the others. It reminded you of the times you'd had similar conversations with Bucky, desperate to find a purpose, a way through so much fog.

“The first time I saw him so sure of himself was when he asked us to help them look for Bucky,” she mumbled his name, as if trying not to scare you away by saying it too loudly. “Ever since then it seemed like he'd found that spark…”

“Until Bucky died,” you whispered, the words cutting through the cold and silence, Peggy shifting on the bench contritely.

“He lost something of himself from that day on, it wasn't hard to tell. The next time I heard him so sure after spending days lost, it was on that call from the plane.”

Peggy paused, raising her hand to cover her mouth as her voice faltered. You turned to look at her, wishing you could rip the pain from her soul and leave it in yours. She was trying to contain her emotions, breathing deeply, and in that moment you wondered what life might be like from now on, with the specter of grief following you around, waiting for the next time the dead knocked on your doors, unexpectedly, without allowing you to say goodbye.

“He had told me he wouldn't die in peace until he could get it all over with. And he took it all with him. And I hated him so much for it…” Peggy sobbed, her labored breathing standing out between words. She kept looking straight ahead at the stained glass windows, the expression on her face hard and scowling despite having tears rolling down her cheeks, as if she were trying to blame something for what had happened. Her reproachful eyes fixed on the Christ.

Her wails echoed through the walls of the church, the father on the dais sending them a look of sorrow. He had offered you water, thirty minutes after everyone at Steve's wake had left, when they kept walking, and you stood there.

Another empty casket.

“Ladies,” Howard's voice reached your ears amidst all the physical and emotional numbness. You could barely notice Peggy wiping under her eyes with the pocket square that was surely part of Howard's suit, as she took breaths to get up. “We should go now.”

You heard him walk, his slow, careful steps stopping just behind you. There, on his feet with his chest tight, he rested a hand on your shoulder and gave it a squeeze in support. He knew it was the most you would allow him at a time like this, deciding not to pass up the opportunity to let you know he was there. You sighed, feeling a heaviness take over your body as you stood up.

“Yeah, let's go.”

The next few months passed in a blur. Maybe too fast, maybe too slow, you weren't sure anymore.

Peggy continued to work at the Strategic Science Reserve for a couple of years, calling you from time to time to help her with some jobs. You kept a low profile, practically a fugitive from the state, while trying to live a halfway normal life in Europe. A lot of it thanks to Howard really.

Life had become a rather monotonous routine when you stopped getting so many calls from Peggy and Howard several years later. You knew they were fine, but not being able to return to the country filled you with anguish every day. And trying to lead a normal life became too complicated when you looked in the mirror and it seemed like not a single day had passed since you were in that capsule of Dr. Erskine's with Steve.

Until Peggy called one day asking you to come back. She told you that it was safe, that there would be no state officials waiting for you at the airport, but even if that had been the situation, you wouldn't have hesitated for a second to buy the first plane ticket and fly to see them again. To Howard and Peggy, to melt into an embrace, longing for the lost years.

You had thought that contributing to the fight in World War II had earned you a ticket to at least be recognized in the military, but all you gained was the government with their mad scientists looking for you to try to recreate the Supersoldier serum. Peggy didn't want to risk you and Howard gave you no choice by giving you a plane ticket to Finland with your bags packed.

You wasted many years not being by their side, unable to keep the promise you had made them in your head to be close by to protect them, to watch over their safety.

But when you left the airport there was only Peggy, and maybe that should've told you everything.

Her hair already looked gray, the effects of gravity and time present on her face. You hated to think that you shouldn't have looked any different from the way she saw you last time when she waved you off at that same airport. Her warm gaze was the same, raising her arms with held back tears to encircle you in a big hug. She tried hard not to sob against your shoulder, you felt the choppy movement of her breath against your chest.

She looked so different and the same at the same time.

You walked to her car a moment later, her trying to carry your suitcase and you telling her you were perfectly fine carrying it on your own. Amidst a smile, she walked into the driver's door and you frowned as you saw the empty passenger seat.

“Where's Howard?” you spoke as you sat down, after stowing the huge suitcase in the trunk of the car. The way you moved to buckle up, you didn't notice the way Peggy froze in place, her hands clenching the steering wheel so tightly that her breath hitched from the effort.

“We're going to see him,” was all she said, but she was very good at hiding that something was wrong. Only for a little while.

During the trip, even though you tried to ask things about them, about what they had been doing during this time, you didn't miss the way her shoulders were tense or her eyes very alert. Something bad had happened and Peggy was trying to hide it from you.

When she pulled up in front of a church, you already knew what had happened without her answering a single one of your questions.

Howard had died.

You two had sat next to Howard's son Tony, his spitting image, in complete silence as the prayers went on. At that moment you didn't know what had happened, hoping it had been a quiet and peaceful death, because you didn't know if you would be able to endure another violent death.

Peggy gave you all the details when the mass was over, after the coffin was taken away, and you hadn't felt such fury in so many years. Not since the deaths of Bucky and Steve had that adrenaline rush of anger returned to run through your body as violently as it did at that moment, when Peggy told you that he had been murdered along with his wife. All to steal some prototypes of Dr. Erskine's serum. The damned serums with which everything had started.

This time there was a body in the coffin, but there was also a culprit. Someone to point the finger at and take it out on for years of anguish and pain.

You were at Peggy's house, staying for a few days, when she told you that wasn't all.

Peggy had a suspicion that HYDRA hadn't disappeared when Steve crashed that plane into the ice. Her suspicions generated panic in you, because Bucky and Steve had died for that, now apparently Howard, only for it all to have been for nothing. The feeling of carnage that ran through your whole head made you nauseous, years of helplessness and pain pent up in such a small body had to find its way out somehow.

“It was a man, according to the information I've been able to gather,” Peggy spoke, taking a seat across from you in the dining room of her living room, after pouring you a glass of lemonade. “He didn't die from the crash. He had a concussion. He was hit in the head. His wife died from asphyxiation.”

“Does Tony know?”

“No,” Peggy shook her head quickly, one hand over her heart as if the mere thought caused her physical pain. “It didn't even occur to me to tell him something like that.”

“And he was looking for the serum,” you recalled, a bitter feeling planted in the back of your throat, the memories of the disastrous times during the war coming back into your head like a blinding flash.

“He took them. We don't know who he is or who he works for, but whoever they are, they must have been following us for a long time to know about them.”

“You mean years,” you arched an eyebrow, your fingers touching the cool exterior of the glass seeking some reassurance.

“Possibly. That project isn't recent,” Peggy nodded, drinking her lemonade with a grimace. You stared at the liquid almost finished from her glass, a wrinkle forming between your brows with each passing second and you kept wondering why.

“But what the fuck was going through that asshole's head?” you spat angrily. Rage at already the amount of lives that serum had taken with it and at Howard's recklessness. Rage at the reaper who seemed to be following in their footsteps for some reason, rage at that damn man and whoever his damn boss was.

“It was the only option, Y/N,” Peggy turned her gaze, meeting your eyes with a strange glint.

“What do you mean?” you were almost afraid to ask, your friend's gaze suddenly turning evasive. You watched her run her fingernails over the glass of the tumbler, lost for a moment in thought. The way her shoulders slumped forward in defeat caused a pressure in your chest that made it hard to breathe. Peggy shouldn't be going through these things at this point in life.

“Howard was working with the Pentagon, as a contractor or something. They had found you. Howard felt cornered and they made him sign an agreement.”

With your incredulous look on her face, Peggy didn't dare look back at you for a few seconds. So much had happened since you had left and it seemed that you had only been told about the things you weren't going to care about so much. But if you had known that you wouldn't have cared much about giving some of the state officials their comeuppance. You would've liked Howard to trust you enough to tell you, not live in as much fear behind his back as the last few years must've been. You didn't like the way Peggy's lips curved downward, as if she, too, would've preferred to make another decision had she known this was how it was going to end.

“Howard assured them that he could recreate the serum, and told them he would as long as they left you alone.”

“Fucking asshole…” you closed your eyes, scrubbing your face with your hands. The rough skin of your hands rubbed against the delicate skin of your face, years of combat and mistreatment foreseeing a harshness that reminded you every day of what you'd had to go through to get to that moment.

“I only found out about it after it happened. I didn't see it for like a whole week,” Peggy shook her head slightly, her eyes glistening in the pain of the memories. You shook your head hard, a more violent reaction than you could have anticipated.

“That stupid… stupid asshole! What the fuck made him think I couldn't defend myself?”

“He was trying to do the right thing,” Peggy finally searched your eyes, meeting the red rims that told her you were holding back too hard breaking in front of her, only using that pain mixed with rage to keep you sane.

“And look how that turned out!”

Peggy stretched her hand across the table, with a pleading look asking you to lower your voice, averting her gaze to the hallway. You followed her gaze, for a second forgetting where you were, forgetting that her family was with you behind the doors where you were plunged into darkness. It was past midnight.

You took a second to calm yourself, trying to drown out the uncontrolled emotions and taking deep breaths to calm your fluttering heart.

“And if what you theorize is true…” you regretted the moment those words left your mouth; you didn't even want to finish the sentence.

“Do you think it is?”

“I don't want to,” you shook your head instantly, closing your eyes, the thought sounding illogical inside your head. Your hands on your chest trying to contain the storm of feelings that was making chaos inside your head. “That would mean that everything we did, everything Bucky, Steve and Howard did and sacrificed, was in vain. It will all have been in vain.”

You spent several weeks with that thought in your head, working hand in hand with Peggy, and the organization you barely knew as SHIELD, to track down the whereabouts of the killer of Tony's parents and the one responsible because the Supersoldier's serums were, surely, in the wrong hands.

And yes, it was many years of fruitless missions and dead ends, with you running every field mission and Peggy calling the shots from the New York facility. Every time you felt close to discovering something, it seemed that the enemy rejoiced in your failures and still couldn't understand how they were always three steps ahead.

However, you had to leave the missions when Peggy became ill.

The silent, lethal Alzheimer's.

During the first months in the hospital, she still recognized you. She also recognized her husband and children. But after the first year, she frowned every time her children walked through the door. After a year and a half, her husband had to remind her that they had been married for about forty years.

After two years, she was still only remembering you, Howard, Steve and Bucky. Her whole life during her time in the army was all you talked about, sometimes you would tell her how much more time had passed than she remembered and always, without fail, she would ask you how much you had done in Europe for so long by yourself.

She cried every time she remembered Howard's death. She cried every time she remembered her children. Out of her mouth came a thousand apologies that no one would accept, because there was nothing anyone could do to prevent what had to happen. You wished she had been a serum test subject instead of you.

For several years, missions to find Tony's parents killer were sporadic because you spent more time around Peggy than at the SHIELD facility. She was the only thing you had left of everything you'd ever had, of when you held the world in your hands. She was the last thing keeping you tethered to that reality, keeping madness from flooding your reason. How could you have so many years ahead of you when that was all you had to live for? A life full of the dead, full of pain and suffering. What kind of karma were you paying for?

You were leaving the SHIELD facility, after another failed mission, when Nick Fury stopped you in front of the exit. You almost rolled your eyes right under his watchful gaze, tired of having to meet him anywhere, and exhausted from his comments about this vengeance project or whatever he wanted you to be a part of.

You still didn't know how, being such an exemplary agent, Coulson had fallen into his nets.

“Miss L/N,” the man stopped you with his words, his hands behind his back and a tense stance that caught your attention.

“Fury,” you nodded in his direction, hoping he'd be quick because you were running late for your weekly visit with Peggy. “Do you need anything?”

“I'd like you to come with me somewhere,” Fury approached tentatively, his one eye fixed on your wary expression, which shifted to boredom the moment you thought you knew what he wanted.

“If this is about that project, I've told you a thousand times-”

“No,” he interrupted you, moving forward and removing his hands from behind his back. “It's not related to that. I really want you to come with me.”

“You look agitated, but I need-”

“I'll take you to see Peggy myself after this.”

You didn't like that he knew your routine, even though you weren't doing enough to hide it from the other agents. But Fury looked nervous, even though he was hiding it very well, trying to keep his cool as he looked for ways to convince you.

You figured it wouldn't be a big deal for you to go off the deep end for once. After all, Peggy never remembered you were going to see her.

You set off in Fury's armored vans, not quite sure where you were going, but sure that it was urgent, because he had taken it upon himself to let his driver know that you had to get there as soon as possible.

You took that time on the trip to come up with a new strategy for the next mission because what you were doing up to that point wasn't working and you felt too close to throwing in the towel, figuratively speaking. You could spend years following a ghost, but you wouldn't give up on finding Howard and Maria's killer.

Before the car pulled up to one of SHIELD's secret sections, they passed the giant, imposing Stark Tower. You never saw Tony again after that time at his parents' funeral, not even during his visits to Peggy because you always made it a point not to cross him. You didn't think you'd be able to look him in the eye while you knew his parents had been killed without being able to tell him. You had promised Peggy in her lucid moments that you wouldn't tell him anything until you could find the culprit. You didn't want to initiate that pain if it had to be kept repressed, as yours once was, and probably still is. You had learned, some time after the funeral, that he was living with Edwin Jarvis, and you were glad to know that he would have good companionship to keep him company in such hard times.

Fury, a handful of agents and you entered the vans through the entrance to what appeared to be the parking lot of an old warehouse. Upon entering, the first thing you noticed was the number of armed agents that seemed to be guarding the place, not at all discreet to how SHIELD used to do things. You weren't sure if Peggy would authorize something like that, but you couldn't question the Director's decisions. It wasn't your place.

“What's going on here?” you frowned, watching as every meter there was another agent and another agent. You got out of the car without waiting for an answer from Fury, moving directly toward the entrance where most of the agents were concentrated. You barely noticed their looks in contradiction, running their eyes over you and then over the man trying to catch up to you, dubious as to whether or not they should move. “Move.”

“Wait,” Fury's voice stopped the command in the agents, who turned back to look at you as you sent Fury a confused look.

“What's all this mystery, Nicholas?” the man startled almost discreetly at your tone of voice, the agents stirring uncomfortably, but kept the serene expression that was getting on your nerves. “What the fuck did you do?”

“We got a call from the Arctic.”

“From the Arctic?”

You tried to ignore the way the hairs on your neck instantly stood up, your body alerting you to something your mind still couldn't comprehend. You felt like a deer face to face with a predator, expecting the worst.

“The Colonel informed us of something that might interest us,” Fury's cryptic voice echoed in your ears, drowning out the flicker of uncertainty vibrating from your head to your toes. “They found a plane.”

You didn't even answer him. Your heart began to pound wildly, cornered, ready to have your head bitten off. The tension in your shoulders intensified, with the involuntary movement of your hands as you broke into a cold sweat. The mere implication of his words caused an emptiness in your stomach, a sense of longing and fear you hadn't felt before.

You looked at Fury, trying to find in his gaze the gleam of a lie, but there was nothing there but assurance. There was nothing but recognition and understanding in his gaze, but that didn't make the emptiness in your stomach and the tight chest go away. It didn't make the feeling of being outside your body go away.

You barely remembered to move in the direction of the door, the agents instantly moving out of your way, pushing it so hard that one of them flew out. You moved your eyes around every corner of the room, the cream-colored walls generating a great repulsion in you. And there, in the midst of all the confusion and the storm, a confused and disgruntled face looked back at you. A face you never thought you would see again.

Steve Rogers was standing a few feet away from you, barely comprehending what was happening around him and instantly recognizing you. Your chest compressed once again, the tears you held back for so many years even in your loneliness making their own way into your eyes, endangering to end that mask you wore everywhere you went.

Steve was actually there, looking back at you with his eyes shining in recognition. You didn't know if he was as surprised as you were to react or you looked so bad that he didn't know if he should approach you or not. You just knew it was him, it really was him right there in front of you. He wasn't dead. Steve wasn't dead. He was alive. Ah, he was so alive.

The broken sob that suddenly left you was loud enough to make your friend shed his stupefaction and stride over to where you were. You barely managed to cover your face, between sobs, wails and disbelief, feeling your knees give out, surrendering to the weight of the pain, when his strong arms grabbed your shoulders before you hit the floor. Preventing your fall, as you had wished so many times before.

You cried against his shoulder, when feeling him against your body you knew there was no doubt it was true. You moved your hands away from your face, wrapping them around his waist as tightly and lovingly as you hadn't hugged anyone in so long. Surely the last time you hugged someone like that was when you saw Peggy on your way back from Europe.

Steve wasn't far behind, his arms around your shoulders just as tightly, his chin against the crown of your head, moving from side to side trying to hold back the loud sobs that shook your body.

You couldn't believe it, but it was true, he was right in front of you.

Steve was alive. He had come back to your side. You didn't even want to ask why.

And there was nothing else you could think about for the rest of your life.

[froot-batty]

(most of) The sewer squad!

Surprisingly, Clay and Croc were super fun for me to color. Rat was the one that kicked my ass this time

(P.S. sorry about the lore being so long down there)

Waylon Jones was originally born in Louisiana. He was born into a relatively low income but very big, very loving family. He was also born with Epidermolytic Ichthyosis, which caused patches of his skin to blister or thicken, sort of like scales. This would be the first thing he'd be bullied for as a child, and it would only grow worse as he went through school and his undiagnosed ADHD and dyslexia would make it ten times harder for him. He would eventually decide to drop out of school, both because of his learning difficulties and the bullying.

One thing Waylon had always loved was boxing. His father had taught him and all of his siblings the basics of boxing, and Waylon was one of the ones who really took a shining to it. It helped that he was a naturally bulky guy who could put on muscle pretty easily. So now that he was out of school, he decided to put his free time towards participating in amateur boxing matches. It didn't rake in very much money, and usually took place in some guy's backyard or a junkyard, but he thought it was a lot of fun - and, most of all, he was good at it.

He made the choice to move to Gotham after he'd collected enough money to start a life somewhere else. He loved his family, and it hurt to move away from them, but a big city like Gotham provided more opportunity than backyard brawling. And indeed, it did! He graduated from probably illegal homemade boxing matches to actual, professional matches - still nothing above amateur, but it was something, and it made a lot more money!

It was during this time when he'd gain the nickname Killer Croc, from a combination of his skin condition, how big he was, and where he'd been born. (He didn't actually kill anyone though, he was a sweetie. He's just killer at boxing).

Things started going downhill for him when he finally won enough matches to go up against another relatively popular name in the amateur boxing league. This opponent, not wanting to lose against what was still a fresh face in Gotham, conspired to cheat in order to win. Because it's Gotham, and anyone can be made to look the other way, no one caught the man as he mixed plaster of Paris with his hand wraps (which hardens into something similar to concrete) before the match.

Safe to say, Waylon lost the fight pretty badly. While he would have been a good sport about it, he knew that who he'd fought had cheated, and he was pissed. As soon as he was out of the hospital, and his face was healed enough for it, he caught the other boxer as he was leaving the gym. He tried to convince him to admit that he had cheated and forfeit his win, but they'd end up getting into an argument that'd turn physical when he tried to punch Waylon.

When the cops arrived, instead of breaking up the both of them and taking them both in, they instead arrested just Waylon. Because the other boxer chose to press charges, Waylon was shipped off to BlackGate Penitentiary after a hasty trial. But he didn't stay there for very long.

Doctor Hugo Strange, head of Arkham Asylum, had followed Waylon's arrest closely in the news. He took an interest in the boxer specifically because of the irony of his nickname. Strange would go on to convince the superintendent of BlackGate that Waylon was unfit to be housed in a regular prison because of how dangerous he might be - Arkham would be a much better fit for him.

Strange promised Waylon that being in an asylum would greatly reduce how long he'd have to spend incarcerated, as he could get out of an asylum when he was proven "sane". But Waylon was given a cell in the lowest pits of Arkham - in the basement, where Strange made his monsters. And he would become the living test subject for what would become Kirk Langstrom's own bat-serum; his nickname, Killer Croc, once a source of pride, becoming a cruel prediction of what he'd become.

Unlike Kirk, however, Waylon is permanently trapped in this new form; shunned from society and now living as Gotham's monster in the sewers. Forever a Killer Croc.

??? (Nickname: Rat/Rats) was born in....Well, actually, no one really knows where it came from. Rats was there the first time Waylon escaped into the sewers, and it seemed it'd been there a long time before that, too.

Rats is like a cryptid to most of the Gotham population. But, like, the kind of cryptid where everyone knows it's real, you just don't encounter it that often. 12 year old rat child in the sewers? Yeah, everyone knows about that

They're shy, unnerving, and tend to be nonspeaking, their only appearances to most of the public coming from brief glimpses in the sewers or, occasionally, guiding people lost within them back out.

To the rogues, though, Ratcatcher is a source of information. It seems to know far more than it should, due to communication with the all-seeing eyes of it's many rats. But how much it's willing to help depends on how much it trusts you, which is usually not very much at all.

And if they don't want to talk to you, then Waylon will be sure to escort you quickly out of the sewers.

(Fun fact: Rats communicates mostly in ASL!)

Basil Karlo was born and raised in Gotham. A lover of performance from the moment he could join the theatre club in school, he was dead set on pursuing an acting career after he graduated from college. His first experiences were small background roles or roles in commercials, but even then directors could see the acting potential lurking within him.

Small roles grew into more major roles, as they grew from background actor, to minor actor, to eventually starring in major roles. And they were a popular guy! Pretty face, charming voice, they became Gotham's own star!

In one of these movie roles, Basil would grow very close to one of his co-stars. Their relationship would move very quickly from friendship to romance, as it does when you work so closely with someone. It might have even moved a little too fast, as they decided to get married the moment they returned to America from their filming location. She moved into his home in Gotham, and things were good, for a little while.

But a lot of cast romances end up not working out, and this was one of those cases. Basil and his wife began to drift apart, focusing on their own careers and neglecting one another in the process. Their relationship began to decay, and with the nature of Basil's career, there began to be...people on the side.

They thought he kept these escapades a secret. They did everything they could to not let their wife or the public know about their cheating.

Of course, this was a pipedream.

This all happened around the time J's Red Hood Gang was at their peak. They figured out Basil's secret, gathered material, and would present the evidence to Basil himself. To keep their secret safe, Basil was forced under the Red Hood.

Basil...did not take well to what he had to do as a Red Hood. But he was desperate to save face amongst the well-to-do of Gotham, so he continued doing the bidding of J and her gaggle for a good while.

Until the day, with no interference from the Red Hoods, their wife left them. She had apparently been contacted by one of Basil's partners, and now they were going to leak that to the press during the divorce proceedings.

Basil's life was ruined. His reputation was in shambles, and he was doing more work for criminals than directors. But he decided he was going to change that. What was the point of working as a Red Hood if they had no way to blackmail him anymore?

So they attempted to leave. They confronted J and demanded that she let them go, and without waiting for her response, left.

Red Hoods were waiting at their home when they got back there. They kidnapped them, dragged them to Ace Chemicals, and proceeded to pour an experimental chemical onto their face. This chemical made flesh like clay—moldable, which the Hoods used to their advantage as they toyed with Basil's face. Morphing it into different shapes and expressions for their own amusement.

When they were done, they dragged him to the vat where they were developing that chemical and threw him into it, expecting him to die.

Unfortunately for Basil, they did not.

[roseworth]

rating different versions of jason by how insane they are

someone made a joke about this in the tags of one of my posts and i thought that was hilarious so now im doing it. these are just the ones i could think off of the top of my head i cannot stress how little effort im putting into this

canon jason: 8/10

yes he is extremely mentally ill but everything wrong with him is funny so no one should ever fix him. sure babygirl killed some people but he knew exactly what he was doing. not to mention he is legally sane according to arkham asylum :)! he is insane but in a normal way

three jokers jason: 9/10

he is a little more insane than normal jason i am going to be real. not his fault though. same origin but things are 10x worse for him here bc this entire book is titled "be mean to jason at every turn." however i do take off some insanity points because he is very pretty

bombshells jason: 0/10

he is a little guy that has done nothing wrong ever in his life. completely sane and if anything ever happens to him i will kill everyone in this room then myself

world without young justice jason: 3/10

he is mostly normal except for the fact that he knows hes supposed to be dead and is having a crisis over that the whole time :( also he burns to death at the end of the issue which i guess isnt necessarily insane but its not normal so it gets a few insane points

flashpoint jason: 10/10

babygirl WHAT r u doing as a priest. what is wrong with you

wfa jason: 9/10

he is too normal in this and it makes me suspicious. what do you mean youre just hanging out with your family. what are your intentions. why.

suicide squad get joker jason: 6/10

i guess hes relatively sane here. also hes in belle reve and not arkham so he is legally sane here too! he gets some insane points for being in a bad book, but also some points taken away because he is very pretty here. most of the points come from the fact that he didnt shoot joker at the end. what the fuck.

arkham knight jason: 30/10

sweetheart we are going to put you in therapy fr. he is so near and dear to my heart and there is so much wrong with him. this man invented the word insane and he gets worse every day. he is so babygirl. he is the "him" in the phrase "i could fix him" because there is nothing you could do to make him worse. and i love him so much

[g1rld1ary]

to build a home ; anthony lockwood x reader

➻ this turned out so different from my plan lols but honestly I love

➻ word count: 2573

➻ synopsis: you're the only member of Lockwood & Co. who doesn't live at Portland Row... but maybe you should

➻ warnings: reader has blonde hair + freckles (only mentioned once), can be read as strictly platonic or light romance, deep loving friendships between Lockwood & Co

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

You’d been working for Lockwood & Co. for almost four months and you loved it. Your three coworkers were more than welcoming and you made a pretty good team. Your Touch was what they had been looking for and business was positively booming. You had more cases than ever — or so they told you, and were busy working more nights than not. The only catch was, you didn’t live at Portland Row with the others.

No, when you grew into your talent and started training to become an agent, your parents weren’t exactly supportive. You knew it was all out of love, but you had to fight for weeks to be allowed to start your training, and only ended up getting your way by agreeing to keep living at home; forgoing the dorms when you worked at Rotwell, and now missing out on living with Lockwood & Co.

You didn’t usually mind, your family was great, but it did create a bother after long cases when you had to stay in the taxi waiting to get home later. Plus, you ended up spending much of your time in their home anyway, researching or debriefing around cases, and rushing off just before curfew set in. However, it did occasionally make you sad to leave your friends knowing that they got to share meals and all the intimate, everyday moments that come with being housemates.

The rest of the company felt similarly to you. Going through life or death cases every other day brought you all close in the few months you’d been employed, and now they found silences in their meals that they knew you would fill or questions they knew you could answer.

However, as much as they appreciated your role in the company and the friendship that you’d all established, one thing still puzzled all three employees. You always looked good. Not necessarily pretty, though many would call you that — you always looked done up. Well manicured. You’d now been on countless cases with Lockwood & Co and they’d seen you bloody and bruised, but never casual. There was even the time you’d been (briefly) held hostage by a relic man, where you’d emerged hours later with your makeup mostly intact — though mixed with a healthy dose of blood — and flyaways gelled flat. It was a sort of superpower, Lucy had remarked at the time. You’d just laughed, explaining that keeping yourself done up was your way of keeping sane. Maybe you couldn’t change the things around you, but you were always in control of yourself. George had raised his eyebrows in Lockwood’s direction, probably intending to call you a control freak, but Lockwood was oblivious. He admired the way you were so collected all the time.

You and the team returned from a case relatively early on a Thursday night — not yet into the early hours of the next morning like usual. You’d decided to join your friends inside Portland Row on this occasion, reasoning that you probably wouldn’t be going to sleep anytime soon and had some work you’d rather be doing. Whilst you saw the others head upstairs, presumably savouring the hours of sleep ahead of them, you directed your attention to the library, planting yourself under a lamp and pulling out some research for the next case.

You weren’t nervous about spending time in the house by yourself; you did it often enough through the daytime and knew what to do when you left. Make sure the lights were all out, the protections were in place, and lock the door behind you with the key Lockwood had copied for you. That didn’t mean you weren’t pleased when you glanced up and saw Lockwood was your company for the night, evidently appearing when you were lost in focus.

“Oh, hey, Lockwood,” You said quietly, careful not to startle him from his reading. You smiled slightly when he looked up quickly, eyes focusing in on you.

“Hi. Are you finally staying the night?” You swore he sounded almost nervous, but you figured that must’ve been his exhaustion, a side of him you’d never seen. You shook your head slowly.

“I just wanted to finish this idea I have before I lose it. Might finally give us a lead on the Backwell case.” Lockwood smiled, a lopsided, infectious thing that had charmed you your very first interview with him.

“I’d give you a raise if we had the profits, you’re clearly our hardest worker,” He joked, then suddenly grew very genuine. “You know you’re always welcome here, right? I’d— we’d love for you to move in one day, but even staying the night. We all hate to leave you on your own after these cases.” You felt yourself smiling, flattered by both the praise and the care Lockwood was sharing. In the four months you’d known him he’d been an excellent friend, someone you could always share a joke with, but he hardly ever gave any indication of his feelings. George had hinted it was because of a tragic family backstory that you’d never pressed for, but you preened under his attentions nonetheless, growing very fond of the man behind the mask from the glimpses you’d received. Regardless you shook your head again, reiterating your family’s rules for the millionth time with a small grimace. Not long after you excused yourself to the bathroom, needing to freshen up if you were going to achieve anything.

Rinsing your face clean over the sink, you borrowed one of Lucy’s makeup wipes to remove the layer of foundation covering your skin. You undid yourself for the evening, ready to power through a research branch you’d found before calling it a night and travelling home. On your way back you stopped in the kitchen for some tea, and catching a glance of Lockwood in the library, pulled his mug out too.

You couldn’t help the warmth in your heart when you thought about them buying a mug just for you when you were employed, despite you not even living there. Plus, the cute little flowers painted on made you recognise that they paid attention to you and your personality. Sometimes it was hard to feel so isolated from the rest of the company, but you gratefully recognised the effort each member put in to combat that. In return you made Lockwood’s tea the funny way he liked it, proof that you listened as well.

Holding a steaming mug in each hand you returned to the library, cautiously placing Lockwood’s on the side table next to him as quietly as you could manage. Seeing the cup appear in his periphery he smiled. He glanced up to thank you but the words stopped in his throat when he saw you looking different than ever before. For the first time your face was completely clear of makeup, revealing blonde eyelashes you usually hid under black mascara and a collection of light freckles concealed under foundation. Additionally, your hair — usually slicked back into a bun or braid that was practical for the physical nature of your job — was loose and evidently brushed through so it fell around your face, curls reforming around the base of your neck. The contrast was almost enough for Lockwood to believe you’d been swapped with a twin whilst you’d been gone.

Suddenly Lockwood felt robbed. This was what your family was keeping from him? Before he could tame his imagination he could see you at the breakfast table each morning, soft with tiredness and bed hair resting around your shoulders or like now at night, simply existing as yourself without your defence barrier against the world. He missed the reality he hadn't received, the tiny moments of your life that you’d never live in Portland Row.

You finally caught his attention, worried at his daydreaming. When he waved you off with a laugh you returned to your work, quizzical glance lingering just a moment too long.

The both of you sat in silence for a while, enjoying the peace that had settled over the room. However when you found some letters that confoundingly skewed the timeline you’d been developing, you couldn’t resist asking, “Hey, would you take a look at this?” In a moment Lockwood was out of his armchair and on the couch cushion next to yours, skimming the pages you handed him. When he moved up to reach for more you ignored his knee touching yours. And the comforting heat that emanated off it. When you made eye contact — only an intimate few inches apart — you saw the odd, distant look in his eye again and asked him about it.

“I like you like this,” He confessed and you cocked your head. “You know, natural. Your hair messy, no makeup. Not that I don’t like your makeup! It always looks really great and perfect and I totally respect all your meaning behind it, it’s just… You feel almost real without it, down with the rest of us mere mortals. Like you live here.” Your whole face felt hot at his rambling, the uneven smile that had crept onto his face piercing straight through skin to your heart.

“You think I’m not real?” You chose to focus on, unable to keep resisting when he asked you to stay.

“You’re always perfect — uh, look perfect, even when we’ve been awake for 30 hours and almost died twice. At some point I have to start wondering if you’re really human.” He tried to play it off as a joke but you were pretty sure, despite the dim lighting, that the tips of his ears were tinged pink. You tried to wave the conversation off casually, but you had to read the next line of research four times before you could take any of it in.

You worked surprisingly well in tandem, your brains appearing to problem solve in a similar manner, ideas being thrown and woven easily, each of you latching on to the brightest parts of the previous sentence. It was a welcome surprise, you usually ended up working with George in the field since Lockwood and Lucy were so coordinated in action, but the allocation didn’t work so much in research. Lucy and Lockwood de-motivated each other in their least favourite part of the job, and you and George almost always dissolved into petty arguments, his black-and-white way of thinking butting heads with your more creative methods. This opened new possibilities for future cases.

When your issue had been solved Lockwood didn’t move, much to your surprise, instead asking for you to pass what he’d been reading before. You quirked an eyebrow when you saw it was a trashy tabloid, another domestic habit you were just learning about, but neglected to say anything. Lockwood had magazines, you had your appearance. Everyone had their ways to cope and destress. He leant against the back of the old couch, side still against yours, and continued on with his reading. You turned back to your research, but you wouldn’t deny that you might have leant back into him when you came across a particularly long document, chasing the warmth he so generously provided.

That was how Lucy found you in the morning; the two of you pressed together in the middle of the couch, the size of it no excuse for your proximity. She’d run back upstairs immediately to fetch George, and they both watched you for a minute, your sleeping head on Lockwood’s shoulder the picture of domestic bliss. George made a comment about your natural appearance, with a hint of what Lucy could only suppose was affection (but it happened so rarely she could never be totally sure), and she couldn’t help but agree. Although neither of them had seen this version of you before it felt totally natural, like you falling asleep on their couch after a long night of research was a habit that was always meant to happen rather than a surprise first sleepover. When the kettle Lucy had turned on began to whistle they both disappeared into the kitchen, leaving you and Lockwood to wake up on your own.

When your eyes fluttered open they fell immediately on Lockwood who was already gazing down at you, pupils filled with warmth and fondness. The sight calmed you easily before your brain woke up and realised that it should absolutely not be happening. You were up off the couch in a second, the chill your body felt overpowered by the panic in your brain. Your parents never waited for you after a case, needing the sleep for their day jobs and trusting you to let yourself in through the backdoor, but that meant their fears of you not being in your bed in the morning would be heightened.

Lockwood quickly caught on to your train of thought and rushed to calm you down, both hands on your shoulders to at least stop your frenetic pacing. He easily quelled your anxiety, his calmer disposition taking the lead to dial your landline, waiting with you as you explained everything to your parents, apologising profusely and taking their scolding with complete understanding. When you were done you sagged in relief, a slow exhale passing your lips.

“How about something to eat?”

Breakfast was one of the only things you’d never done at Portland Row (especially now you’d ticked sleeping off the bucket list). You’d had countless lunches and afternoon teas while researching, and even a few early dinners before curfew or a case, but never breakfast. It was different, but so lovely.

The food for one was of the same standard, George remaining your favourite of the company just for his meals, each one a bite of heaven. The energy was different though. Whilst most of your meals together were noisy; raucous laughter over impassioned discussions or meaningless arguments, breakfast was quiet, but still not in the way that sometimes fell after a promising lead came up useless or someone returned injured. No, breakfast at Portland Row was the kind of quiet that felt like a homemade blanket laying over your shoulders, the kind you’d find lying next to a stream in summer. The only conversation made was about the meal itself, requests for more milk or jam, or else murmured plans for domestic goals, any talk of burdening cases or violence banished until a later hour.

When the three residents looked at you, it was like you’d always been there with them, a piece of the furniture that belonged in Portland Row to greet them each morning in your natural state, before any of the protective walls had been built up. When Lockwood looked at you, a key part of his company in his family home, a crumb of toast settled insistently on your lip, he wondered why the fourth chair at the dining table was ever empty. They all knew it wasn’t right without you.

When you finally took your leave, all four of you were thinking the same thing: you needed to be at Portland Row. It was where you belonged.

[mrsmarlasinger]

Oh? My fucking god??

THIS WAS THE CONTROLLER FOR THE SUBMARINE THAT WENT MISSING???

The Logitech F710??

Like, okay, apparently the U.S. military* uses Xbox 360 controllers. I get that. It's cheap. It's technology already familiar to many young adults. I get it, I do.

*(fuck 'em)

But still. STILL.

I don't know anything about gamepads, but I do know the Logitech F710 came out thirteen years ago. I just found it on Ebay for $16 including shipping.

But surely that means that through the test of time, the Logitech F710 has proven itself to be the best around, right? A work of video game engineering so flawless, even a relatively sane individual might agree to trust it with their life....right?

Oh. Oh. Jesus Horatio Christ.

Imagine your joystick drifts and your buttons get stuck and your controller lags...while you're steering a submarine...13,000 FEET UNDERWATER.

(That's about 4,000 meters, or just under 2.5 miles. And yes, I know it's actually a submersible, not a submarine.)

Oh my god. Oh my god.

For context, according to Naval Post:

A submarine specifically built to rescue people from subs sunk deep in the sea has a maximum depth of 7,500 to 10,000 feet (2,250 to 3,000 meters). But no, with the Titan, we're talking 13,000 FEET.

So if the pressure at approximately that depth is 5,775 psi, which means 5,775 lbs (2,619 kg)—or ALMOST THREE TONS—per square inch...

...and the atmospheric pressure where I live is sitting at 14.5 psi today...

That means the sheer pressure of the ocean at that depth is, like, 400 times that of the air we breathe. So if your fucking 13-year-old video game controller drifts you into the wreckage of the goddamn Titanic, the moment your hull sustains a little damage, even the tiniest leak, you're gonezo. The sub implodes and you're pulverized. Instantly.

(Plus I hear the compression rate is so extreme, the molecules so fast-moving, that everything heats to combustion in the split second before the water puts it out. So really, you'd be incinerated before you'd be crushed. Ain't that a treat?)

But hey, maybe the pressure hull remains intact and you just lose power. Or get entangled in the wreckage of, again, THE GODDAMN TITANIC.

Then it's just you and your four rich buddies crammed into a metal tube, waiting for your 96 hours of oxygen to run out.

Navigational computers on the fucking floor. No backrests. No seats. No padding. Nothing. Just one small toilet sat in front of one tiny window.

So when the power dies and the lights go out, it's just a claustrophic sardine tin of the wealthy, alone in the suffocating pitch-dark at the bottom of the ocean, choking on the smell of their own shit.

All this, for a quarter of a million dollars per head.

Which they paid even though Stockton Rush, the CEO of OceanGate himself, said that SAFETY IS A WASTE. OH MY FUCKING—

A sadly unshocking thing to hear from the CEO of a company that's engendered safety concerns! For! YEARS!

Also unshocking: the waiver apparently mentions death three times on the first page.

You know.

In case it didn't get through to you after the first two times. Or after reading that the sub is experimental and hasn't been approved or regulated in any remotely meaningful way.

But it's okay if the MacGyvered fucking submarine crumbles like a Saltine cracker, because IT DOESN'T MATTER IF EVERYTHING FAILS! AS LONG AS THE PRESSURE HULL'S INTACT, IT'S OKAY IF YOU'RE STUCK 13,000 FEET UNDER THE SEA WITH A RAPIDLY DWINDLING SUPPLY OF OXYGEN! THE CEO OF OCEANGATE SAID SO!!!

HAHA! HA! YES, THE TOTALLY SUCCESSFUL MACGYVERED SUB WITH A COMPLETELY INTACT PRESSURE HULL!!!!

Oh my god. Oh my GOOOOOOOOD.

But hey! Remember! :) If the Juulpod-sized, Atari-run hunk of hubris doesn't literally fucking implode with you inside it, it's okay that there are 18 bolts locking you in that can't be undone without external assistance! Because Stockton Rush said you're safe as long as the (definitely pristine) hull is still intact!

So if you're bobbing on the surface of the ocean, watching seagulls cross blue sky through your single tiny porthole, listening to the pulse of white-crested waves ruffled by the cool sea breeze, drowning above water because you can't escape the slow ceaseless hourglass that is your stagnant air supply without a rescue crew—a rescue crew that can't even find you because you're mired in a vast expanse of savage ocean and oh, by the way, your communications going down is what started all this in the FIRST PLACE...

...well, don't worry! Titan's many, many, MANY successful past voyages should give you comfort! :)

But, on the very off chance this could be a dangerous and likely deadly situation, tell me: which would be the worst way to go?

Incinerating in the abrupt birth of a terrible, crushing singularity?

Asphyxiating in the lightless abyss that lurks like some arcane hell at the bottom of the ocean?

Or suffocating just as slowly above the water, with air so close you can see the misty breeze yet still...just...out...of reach?

God, I hope we save these dumbass idiots. Especially since one of them's just a 19-year-old kid. I don't even care how rich and stupid they are. I just can't imagine dying like that.

[0lshadyl0]

Any HCs or scenarios on Yandere Hancock boa ?? I think she an interesting character 🥰

Of course, my dear, she is a fascinating character, in fact, she is my favorite female character after Nico Robin, I am weak to black haired women with cool powers and sad past.

Yandere Boa Hancock headcanons

• Brave of you to assume that she is not a yandere in the canon, that is, she has all the points to follow for her character to be a yandere, especially a delusional yandere

• sad past with traumatic events, no friends, position of power, no one contradicts her, she gets lost in her own fantasies, lives in her own reality and obsesses over a person beyond what is sanely possible, yeah she checks all the marks 

• But, she would only become obsessed with her romantic interest if he has a very specific personality (for example, Luffy)

• Ok, let's say that the key for her to fix her eyes on you is that you have heroic tendencies, that is, she likes people with a good heart, willing to do what others would consider crazy in order to help others. the others (such as hitting a Tenryūbito, better yet, killing one)  

• or just a very kind person with a great charisma, very positive mind but who doesn't take shit from anyone

• if things happened naturally, I'm pretty sure Hancock would be obsessed with a woman, Luffy is an exception to the rule (call it the power of the script thanks to being the protagonist of the series)

• Let's remember that the first men in her life that she met were the Tenryūbito and they are the worst experiences that a young woman like Boa could have, emotionally, physically and sexually (I'm 200% sure that she was raped by a good number of them, that's why despite being in love with Luffy she never sees herself having children with him… probably she can't even get pregnant due to irreparable damage to her sexual organ or simply they removed the ovaries so that she could not get pregnant by the Tenryūbito since she was a slave and the slaves are not worthy of having a child with a being as noble as a Tenryūbito is)

• Anyway, when she fixes her eyes on you, in her head she already begins to live in a world apart

• You've probably seen each other a maximum of five times and most of it in battles, possibly you saved her from some dangerous situation but not paying much attention to her, but in her head, you two are already engaged

• Yes, she is the type of women who, from a very young age, dreamed of getting married and having a large family full of love, a dream that has been transformed into only having a partner to love and be loved by because of the Tenryūbito and all their shit

• She is a relatively easy yandere to deal with, since the word of her s/o is divine law for her, she will never question you, nor will she go against you, she will not hesitate to put herself in danger or give her life for you, she literally will kill for you

• But, keep in mind, she is very jealous and in an unjustified way, nobody can look at you because she is already asking questions and imagining scenarios where you abandon her.

• Because, despite all that she says about being the most beautiful woman in the world, she actually has low self-esteem due to her past as a slave, she doesn't feel that she is worthy of you, because she is dirty

• But if you tell her that you are not interested in that person or deny knowing about the existence of the person who made her jealous, she will believe you without a shadow of a doubt.

• You can tell her that the sky is green and for her, yes, ultimately the sky is green and she will turn anyone who says otherwise into stone

• She is a stalker, she will follow you everywhere and will always be watching you, of course, at a respectful (Hinata-Naruto style) distance if the two of you get into a relationship, she will stick to you like gum, she is unbelievably clingy and has no idea of the meaning of personal space

• She is one of the few yanderes who have no sexual intentions, because she is traumatized with sex (she has never known about vanilla sex or consent) and considers it torture, she loves you too much to do you any kind of harm

• Oh, but if she were to get over her traumas and discover that sex can be enjoyed and is a way to stay connected to the one she loves, man, get ready for a long ride

[velvetburnt]

in which whitney hates flying

characters: m!whitney + gen!pc summary: bullying hubby whitney on the airplane :-) [public handjobs, edging, exhibitionism] warnings: none word count: 2387

These days, with his hefty salary as a neurosurgeon, Whitney acted as if spoiling you was his life's main goal. Sure, he'd never admit it outright, but to make up for your shitty starts at adulthood, broke and struggling to survive day to day, he worked hard to make damn sure the both of you got to live comfortably now. You had earned a peaceful epilogue.

Well, mostly peaceful. You were married to Whitney, after all. Married or not, you were his slut.

The two of you had gotten up and left your shitty excuse of a town the moment a solid enough chance had presented itself. But now, even as you lived in a much better, safer city, you quickly discovered you still enjoyed exploring. Your husband was more than happy to indulge you, so naturally, frequent trips and vacations were a given. Besides, he still liked visiting his uncle. On occasion, his uncle even came along on the vacations, like this one. It served as a.. bonding experience.

Whitney hefted the two heavy bags over his shoulder and snatched up the drink bottle leaning against his chair. A quick glance to his left and right confirmed his suspicions. His uncle was seated nearby, but you were nowhere to be seen. "Hey, slut--"

"Yeah?" Your head appeared from behind Whitney’s seat, smug grin adorning your features.

"Fuck! Every time! I should-" He jumped, running a hand through his hair to conceal his surprise before heaving out a sigh. Despite the years you'd been together, he never got used to the way you could move about so quietly.

And you, on the other hand, were always thoroughly pleased with yourself whenever you caught him unawares, in situations where he couldn't immediately punish you for it. It wouldn't do for him to end up in jail for public indecency now, after all.

"Time to go?"

"Yeah, yeah. Ready?"

You nodded.

.̩₊̣.̩✧*̣̩˚̣̣⁺̣‧.₊̣̇.‧⁺̣˚̣̣*̣̩⋆·̩̩.̩̥·̩̩⋆*̣̩˚̣̣⁺̣‧.₊̣̇.‧⁺̣˚̣̣*̣̩✧·.̩₊̣.̩

He really wasn’t a fan of the glint in your eyes at the moment. After all, he was intimately acquainted with the fact that a sly slut never boded well for him.

"So, I was thinking.." you began.

Whitney wasn't too fond of the drop in your tone, either.

"Do you want to play a game?"

You skimmed your fingers along Whitney's thigh, inching dangerously close to his crotch. He gave you a strained grin.

"You're on thin ice, slut." Whitney side-eyed the two old ladies seated directly to his right. They were immersed in a deep conversation with his uncle about something he really didn't care about. "...You're on."

Your smile was downright wicked.

"The game goes like this." You continued, kneading the inside of Whitney's upper thigh. “And you... sit... still... until I'm done."

Whitney grit his teeth. Ask him literally any other time, and he'd be all up for it. He would've even initiated something like this himself. But in this situation, if his uncle noticed... He really, really didn't need another hour long lecture from his relative about keeping things in the bedroom. He was on strike two already.

A brush against his crotch had Whitney tearing open the plastic-wrapped blanket as fast as he could and rushing to cover his lap up with it, although shoving your hand away would've been the sane thing to do. He wasn't a quitter though, hell no.

The older lady to his right glanced over at him. "You okay, sweetie?" She asked, concern creasing her brow. "It really is chilly in here, isn't it?"

Whitney coughed awkwardly into his hand and you noticed that it was far too forced to seem natural to anyone. The lady didn't seem to notice though.

"My friend and I," the woman next to her gave him a friendly smile and waved, "are visiting the states for the holidays. What about you? Business or pleasure?" She ended with a lighthearted giggle.

"Pleassssure-" Whitney hissed, directing a sharp glare at your expressionless face. You even had a large book open on your lap and were flipping through the pages with your left hand. Your right hand was busy with something entirely different. "We're here on pleasure." He reiterated. Well, maybe one of you was.

The woman's eyes widened in surprise, hand rising to cover her mouth. "Oh goodness!" She exclaimed. "I'm so sorry. I didn't notice you there!"

You looked up with a tilt of your head and smiled innocently at her in return, glancing at Whitney. "I get that a lot. It's okay." You could hear his uncle cackling.

Whitney was going to kill you. You, the bastard who had now managed to unzip his fly. The feathery light strokes across his clothed cock shouldn't have done anything for him. But the fact that he was stuck in his seat, conversing with four people with only a bunched up blanket between him turned him on beyond belief.

If only his uncle wasn't part of the conversation, he would've gladly taken a fine for public indecency for the sake of burying himself into your warm hole for the rest of the flight.

Your arm wasn't moving but your fingers sure as hell were. They alternated between light touches straight down the length of his cock to rougher presses along his base. It was proving enough of a distraction that Whitney completely missed the woman's next words in favor of clenching the armrest next to you in a death grip so he wouldn't end up hauling you on top of him to do it properly. Fucking hell. So you opted to answer for him.

“A neurosurgeon. My husband here likes to treat his family, see." Followed up with a lick of the lips that Whitney most definitely noticed as he unconsciously mimicked the gesture.

"Oh?" The woman questioned, intrigued now. Probably perked up at the mention of Whitney's career.

Whitney glanced up from his intense perusal of where he knew your hand was and noticed the slight frown marring the woman's face before her friend piped up.

"Have you guys seen…" The rest of her words fell on deaf ears as Whitney dragged up every ounce of willpower he possessed in order to keep his mouth shut. You had slipped your warm fingers inside his briefs that he had begrudgingly worn. You, his soon to be ex-spouse worked at fingering the tip, gathering precum and smearing it along the underside of his cock in slow, languid strokes. He caught bits of pieces of what you were saying, but the majority of it translated to complete gibberish in his ears.

“…ok?”

Whitney squinted at the woman, mentally cursing both her and you for his current predicament. At least his uncle seemed to not be involved in the conversation anymore. "Yes?" He ground out.

She frowned at him again. "Oh, I was asking if you were all right. You look a little… off, dear."

Whitney smiled--grimaced--when you began massaging the tip of his dick. Just the way he fucking liked. He choked, and prayed to the heavens that it hadn't sounded like a desperate sob instead. But by the slow smile inching across your face, he knew that you had noticed. Whitney vowed to never fly with you ever again.

“'m fine. Just not used to… flying.” He congratulated himself on being able to string anything coherent together with the way you were relentlessly squeezing the base of his cock as it twitched near nonstop now.

You leaned closer towards Whitney while Whitney pressed himself as far back into his seat as humanly possible. Breath held in his lungs as you pointed to a place marked in red on a book you'd precariously dropped on top of Whitney's lap. Fucker. Bastard.

"We wanted to visit this place and…" Finger skimming over to a crinkled corner of the book, you rubbed the edge between thumb and index finger before turning the page. Whitney was caught between wanting to break open the emergency door and tossing his (ex) spouse out into the ocean below, or saying fuck all to his uncle and his three strikes and getting up to drag you into the plane bathroom and brutally fucking you into next tuesday.

Yet, he could do neither of those things as the woman to his right bent over his armrest and pointed to a spot next to your finger. Oh, come the fuck on.

"This place is pretty good for sightseeing." She offered, completely oblivious to the inner turmoil Whitney was suffering through at the hands of your too-clever fingers.

You hummed in approval and squeezed just under the head of Whitney's cock. The action jolted him forwards, almost knocking the book off his lap but you pushed it back just in time.

"Are... Are you sure he doesn't need a glass of water or food or anything?” She asked you, because apparently he was incapable of answering for himself now. Truthfully, he probably was.

You met his dark gaze. "Hungry?" You simply asked him, stroking with just your thumb. "Thirsty?" You questioned, index finger rubbing over the slit.

"Hungry." Whitney snapped, immediately regretting it when that devious smile lit up your face again, and... Fuck. Fuck you for being you, and fuck him for loving every bit of it. He watched you open your mouth, pink tongue wetting dry lips to suggest (he prayed) that the two of you sprint to bathroom and be done with this torturous game, when a voice to his right snagged everyone's attention.

"Here you go, sir." The flight attendant beamed, holding out a tray, laden with food for him to take. With his hands. Currently grasping the armrest in a vice-like grip. He could do little but stare.

"Uh.." Smile painfully forced now, obviously uncomfortable with the fact that she was holding out a tray that Whitney was obviously not accepting, because you had chosen that exact moment to speed up the maddening strokes along his cock, and he seriously doubted the steadiness of his hands at that moment as his eyes squeezed shut.

The flight attendant cleared her throat and glanced at the women. “Did one of you order…?” They both shook their heads.

"I did." You spoke up at last, leaning forwards so the attendant could see you past Whitney's stiff form.

"Oh, I'm so sorry! I apologize. I didn't notice you there!" She offered the tray to you with an apologetic laugh.

The two older ladies laughed as well, saying that they'd made that exact same mistake only moments ago to ease the woman's flustered state of mind.

"Whitney." You began, and Whitney did not like the tone of your voice. You unlatched the tray from the back of the chair before you spoke. "Can you get the food please? I can't reach it from here."

Whitney shifted forwards when your fingers tightened their grip and he almost started openly fucking into your first on instinct. He nearly whined.

"It'll get cold, babe."

Fucking slut. Why did he love you again?

He released his hold on the armrest and was legitimately surprised that there was no indent from how hard he'd been gripping the thing. The woman held out the tray for him and he practically ripped it from her fingers to drop onto your tray with a loud clatter. He ignored the disapproving look from the attendant in favor of glowering downright murderously at your blank-faced stare.

"Thank you, honey. So…" And the torture was back again. Too slow to actually get off, but fast enough that he held himself as rigidly as possible, not daring to move for fear of losing all traces of his dwindling composure. He'd need to put you in your place, and soon.

Sweat was beading along his forehead. Frustration as clear as day in his posture, fingers twitching with the need to strangle somebody, preferably you, as you fisted his cock with newfound fervor. His mood was dark enough that the chattering old women seemed to notice something was off with him when they hurriedly excused themselves to focus on his uncle instead and Whitney wasted no time in twisting his fingers through your hair and wrenching his head back so he could smother you in rough bites and kisses.

"You absolute fucking…” He desperately bites at your lips, rewarded with a breathless gasp and a harsh tug on his swollen cock, wet with precum. He shudders as he humps your fist, gritting his teeth to prevent himself from outright whimpering into your mouth. “Gonna gag you with my cock, gonna- shit!” Guilty laughter tickles his ears as you press your kiss-swollen lips against his cheek.

"Love you too, Whit," was whispered so softly, Whitney was sure he'd imagined it. He swore and cursed the dumb armrest for getting in his way before meeting your gaze, eyes hooded and glazed over with unbridled lust.

"You either finish me off here or get in the fucking bathroom with me, slut. I'm not stopping." He growled against your parted lips. His uncle and those strikes be damned. You seemed to be in total agreement when you pulled your hand out of Whitney's pants so he could straighten up.

Whitney twisted around and stood up, the blanket held loosely over his open fly.

"Bathroom break?"

It took a second for the words to register in his lust-addled brain, but one they did, he froze, eyes narrowed at the source of the voice.

Despite having tapped out of the conversation earlier, his uncle was now staring knowingly at Whitney as he waited for an answer. The older woman next to him blinked in acknowledgement and shuffled out into the aisle so Whitney could leave. Whitney glanced over to you, now staring out of the window, right hand out of sight and blatantly ignoring everyone. You motherfucker.

“Y-yeah. Yeah. Sure…” He repeated, stupidly, side-stepping past the old woman and waddling over to the bathroom, uncaring of what he must look like at the moment. As he moved, he decided he would make sure that you'd be in need of a vacation after this vacation.

He didn't spend five minutes perched on top of the toilet seat, blank-faced and staring down at his stiff, sad cock, wondering why the gods hated him so and why you weren't sitting on it right now.

Whitney hated flying. So much.

[howl-fantasies]

I have a request for headcanons of the Gotham rogues having met the Y/N when they were ig sane aka. not evil and then awhile after just seeing them at Arkham, now knowing they went down the same pit they had.

At least they can be a new rogue!

( I'm thinking of them liking each other romantically beforehand and then Y/N poof is now not sane- like oops but you can still date 🤷‍♀️ )

Hi dear, thank you for your request! And so sorry for the delay! I like the concept, it's a really plausible one. The idea of them meeting each other again in Arkham and bonding because of their common misfortune and spiralling to hell is a very good one! *Barbara vibes here*😂

I made scenarios with the reader being friend or sort of with the villains first, since I thought it would be fitting, I hope it's ok for you dear. I went with: Ed, Oswald, Victor and Jonathan. Tell me if you want to read more headcanons with other villains.

So here it is:

Warning: violence, blood, mental illness, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempt, Arkham (hey, it can be traumatising, ask Oswald and Ed), English is not my first language I'm working on it.

Word Count: 3.685

GOTHAM VILLAINS HAVING MET THE READER WHEN THEY WERE SANE

EDWARD NYGMA / THE RIDDLER

You were Kringle's coworker and met Eddy at the GCPD.

Even if you worked with the other woman you were never really close, mostly because of the awful way she treated Ed at first.

Even if he was a dork, you used to find him endearing and always gave his riddles a shot, succeeding or not to answer correctly.

If you were good at riddles, Ed would immediately become your partner in riddle-crime, always searching for a good one able to stump you.

If riddles weren't your forte, he appreciated your effort and gentleness. You really were trying and he really loved the spark of comprehension in your eyes when he would give you the correct answer and how you would facepalm and curse at how obvious it was when you were thinking about it.

Your closeness would earn you a lot of teasing from Jim, Harvey and the other cops, most of the times it would be mean remarks targeting Ed, though.

But you both knew the truth: Nygma was still obsess with Kringle. You, on the other hand, always had a soft spot for him. You didn't need to be a genius, though, to know your attraction for dear Ed was only a one side one. So you never told him anything about it.

When Ed started to lose it, you truly were horrified. Why? How? What was happening to him? You did your best to team up with Jim in order to bring your lovely co-worker back to you.

You already know the result: it will be an epic fail. For Jim, you and finally Ed who will be send to Arkham.

Then, your own little descent into hell happened.

Without Ed, you were now the new GCPD's scapegoat. Those guys never learn anything, right?

Hell at work and in your personal life: losing a close relative, meeting someone who hurt you badly, money issues, illness... choose your weapon and be ready to see your uneventful life burst into flames for the worse...or maybe the better?

You would wreak absolute havoc in Gotham, so much, Gordon himself had to go after you and managed to arrest you.

"What happened to you Y/N?! Ed wasn't enough? Why did you have to follow his path?!" He asked-yelled, the deep hurt visible in his eyes.

Goodbye Gotham, hello Arkham. Guess who you met again here?

“No waaay ∼ Look at you my dear, you are positively stunning!” His taunting voice would call you from the other side of the refectory. “Did you missed me so much you decided to pursue me here? My, oh my, I’m honoured!” *Yes, you can hit his pompous ass, please do it*

Riddler had to stop his mocking, though. When he saw you so numb, his felt his heart clench painfully. He appreciated you a lot back then. And seeing you so hollow made him drop his cocky act. 

“Are you ok dear?” He would ask, joining you at your table and cautiously seating in front of you with his brows furrowed. “What happened?”

And you would tell him. How your life became a living hell when he was gone. How everything crumbled around you until your mind didn’t have any other choice than snap. 

Goodness. He empathized. He truly did. His own snapping was relatively fresh after all. 

He would make his own little mission to protect you from Strange and his little human experiments, he would try his best to lift your spirit and even create special riddles only for you. Don’t worry about answering wrong, you wouldn’t die for it, he swore. 

Now that Kringle was out of the picture, Ed would finally see you. See how you were always kind with his dork him, how you tried to save him when everything went south for him, how you would discreetly wrinkle your cute nose when something was bothering you but you were too polite to point it out loud. God what was he thinking while running after his previous doomed love when you, who never tried to change anything with him, was just under his nose. He would feel like the biggest fool into the whole city let me tell you. 

He wouldn’t mind you being now judged as insane. He wouldn’t mind your illness. He would only mind how a blushing mess he was gradually becoming when you were near him. And he would only mind about ensuring your security: inside of Arkham, outside of it when he would convince Oswald to get you out too. 

Be ready to be the one receiving muffins with a bullet in it, flowers, poems, and any romantic gift you can think about. 

Bonus: he will always keep a picture of the two of you inside of his wallet. You both were in Arkham’s uniform at the cafeteria while he was teaching you how to play chess with a paper handmade one he created just for you. He would never admit it to anyone but he thought you were the cutest thing in your uniform. 

--

OSWALD COBBLEPOT / THE PENGUIN

You fist met Oswald when he entered the little tailor shop you owned.

He needed a new suit for his grand debuts in the mafia’s world, when he started to work for Fish. 

He wouldn’t be very kind during his first visits. But he came back every times, finding your sense of fashion and sewing technique terrific. 

He finally decided to compliment them once, bringing you to talk about a lot of things: suits, buttons, and more dangerous subjects like his mother and his growing criminal career. Nothing too touchy, though. Oswald is a cautious little thing and he also didn’t want you to sell any information or, if you really were as kind as you looked, make you a target if anyone wanted to hurt him. 

Soon, you would become his little secret. His breath of fresh air. He would even try to hide your friendship to his dear mother, too afraid she insults you or demand him to stop seeing you. 

But Gertrude is perceptive in her own way and would suspect something. Because of Oswald’s stupid happy smile whenever he was putting one of your creation, she would stay silent and let him think he was so good at keeping secrets. She swore to tore you apart if you ever dare to break his lovely son’s heart, though. 

Your relationship reached an important point when he would met you just after Fish defeat and flee, thanks to Victor. His clothes and face were a total mess. 

So you patched his suit and him, without asking questions you knew he wouldn’t answer. 

But he decided to speak. Well, not really speak, he vented. His nerves cracking and his temper starting to get the best of him. He always tried to keep it tamed near you, too afraid about your possible reaction. 

You didn’t run away. You let him yell, smash his hands and fists against your furniture, and offered him some tea, fruits and biscuits. 

“Poof” angry Oswald was now tamed. You’re a wizard/witch reader, be ready to receive a letter from Hogwarts in the following days.

After this, Cobblepot’s fondness for you will know no limit. As his dear friend, he would always make sure your shop and you were ok, even when everything around him was burning. 

But Gotham is Gotham, you know. Trouble, misery, and disasters always find their way to you. 

It started with an arson. Your shop was burned to the very ground. By who? Oswald swore to investigate and help you build it back, even better than before. 

But he wasn’t that rich at this time, so you did what any citizen would have done: you called the insurance, you went to the illustrious Gotham Central Bank and ask for their help to lend you the funds you needed. 

Condensed, their answer was pretty much a: “LMAO no fucking way, please go die somewhere in the dark alone.” Pretty much. With prettier and complex words, but the meaning was the same. 

Oswald was livid. You too. But you’ll eventually find a way to back up on your feet. Right? *Spoiler: no*

Your chance definitely left you when a few weeks later, Oswald get caught and sent to Arkham, letting you all alone to deal with your problem and Cobblepot’s foes who somehow had heard about you. 

Domino effect. It would always be your answer to the “What happened to you?” inevitable question. You lost it. You snapped. Nobody, except Oswald, was keen on helping you in this hell hole. Nobody would care if you were to die alone in a dark and shady alley. 

Why would you care about robbing the bank then? And other banks, galleries, rich people in town? Money was the key. You needed money. In fact, it became your obsession. Money will guarantee you a home, you will never lose yours ever again. Money will guarantee you security, power, and quick solutions whenever you may be in need for one. 

You get caught too. Your total obsession for money making you the perfect new candidate to the only asylum in town. Not like you cared. Your precious money was safe, you made sure of it. But from Arkham, it would be a little bit difficult to reach. 

Life decided to stop being a bitch when you saw your dear friend again. 

“Y/N?!” You heard him yell when you were escorted to the cell next to his own. “Oh my god my dear, I am so sorry I wasn’t here for you! But what are you doing here! It must be a mistake! Guards! Let us go this instant, we aren’t mentally ill for heaven’s sake!” 

Like Ed, Oswald will make sure no harm was done to you in Arkham. Yes, he would even protect you from Jerome. He would never let the freak touch a single hair of your head. You were too precious. 

Oswald would also make sure to get you out. Even after Strange little mind game on him. He would never forget you or judge you a bad influence for him. 

Of course he’ll notice your newfound obsession for money. But he understands. Better, he will make sure to help you make and steal a lot of it. 

He asked you to move in with him during his mayor campaign, implored you to stay during his Gotham’s throne conquest - for your own security. In fact, he will want you with him at all times. You, his dearest friend. The only one who, he knew, would never turn their back on him. 

Be ready to catch him facing empty chairs a few times when you come back home. “Don’t panic, he’s practicing his confession,” Olga told you in her language that you obviously don’t understand a word about. 

Gifts. Gifts everywhere. Everyday. For no reason. He likes to spoil you rotten. “Can’t you see this boy fell head over heels for you, idiot?” Would sigh Olga every time. Of course, both of you will miss it every time, demanding her to speak in freaking ENGLISH... Poor you guys... It will take ages. 

--

VICTOR ZSASZ

Victor met you for the first time at the Lady's illegal casino.

You weren't an assassin yourself, by no means. Just here to work as an accountant. You knew about the Lady's business and ensure she never had any issue with her money, writing her contracts for her and it was all.

When the most famous assassin in town showed his bald head in the casino and the Lady wasn't here, he pretexted he was "just passing by" and got lost here. Dude... I mean...

You had to facepalm. Which made him laugh like an idiot. You knew who he was, but also were accustomed to assassins at this point so it wasn't like you were going to pee in your pants while being in front of him. He liked it.

You introduced yourself properly and explained you worked for the Lady and was aware he was supposed to come to see her.

You offered him a drink on the house and humor him with small talk while waiting for your boss.

When she finally showed up, the three of you moved in a seclude area to talk business. Something about a contract the Lady wanted to make with Victor, with the benediction of Carmine Falcone.

He was amazed by how composed and organized you were. Clinical. Like any good assassin should be, even if you weren't one. He absolutely loved your quick wit and the dark jokes you would offer from time to time to help lightening the mood when tension was getting too intense. Damn, you were good!

Victor being Victor, he quickly became fascinated by you, following you everywhere in town with or without you knowing.

You caught him stalking you once when you stopped by a pizza truck, asking for a calzone.

"Add one pepperoni please. Oh! And a milkshake too." Came his voice from behind you, making you jump out of your skin and curse him like a sailor.

"What the hell?! Are you following me? I mean, for real?! DUDE!" You yelled in pure outrage.

He wouldn't even try to hide it. Simply offering you his irritating "Uh-uh".

"What for? Plan to kill me or something?" You asked.

His long silence wasn't mean to threaten you, no. He was admiring your nerves of steel. Also questioning your sanity a bit, truth be told. But since you made him a really good impression so far, he decided you were impressive.

"Not today", he just said with a shrug. Ok, so he wanted to play friends or something so stupidly mondain like this. Again, you decided to humor him.

Guess what, after a few times of totally not planned encounters, you started to really get close to each other. Even exchange numbers at some point.

He would always find the time to pay you a little visit at the casino at the end of your shift and appreciate the strange normalcy it gave him.

Everything was fine until one day, the Lady's illegal casino was under attack, getting nearly everyone killed brutally.

You survived somehow. You weren't an assassin but it didn't mean they didn't taught you a thing or two, like surviving *the irony* or using weapons.

When the GCPD FINALLY arrived, they caught you, covered in blood and utterly shocked. You were still processing everything happening and your world falling apart.

Your distressed attitude and shock were the main reasons why you were send to Arkham, in hope they would help you to get through it and release you after it.

They didn't plan the bloodbath would have turned one very dangerous switch inside of you. The blood, the thrill, the smell of powder, the pure rush of adrenaline. God you wanted more.

A month later maybe, guess who also found his ass in the same facility? But yes of course: Victor Zsasz.

His goofy grin threatened to split his jaw in half when he saw you: "Hey Sweets! Knew you survived!"

It wouldn't need much for him to understand what switch was activated inside of you. And he was positively thrilled by it!

He offered to train you, respected when you declined joining the Zsaszettes and came with another idea: introduce you to Falcone/Oswald (depending on where you want to stand in the timeline) and make you their brand new accountant-assassin.

Be ready to find him glued to you at anytime, you were his little secret crush back then, you're now his new God/Goddess and nothing will stop him to worship you properly, not even you. You'll see you were made for each other, eventually.

--

JONATHAN CRANE / SCARECROW

You were Jonathan's classmate and friend.

You weren't as easy spook as him so you often where his emotional support and bodyguard, especially at school with bullies. No need to be a total badass, your fondness for him was enough to give you the courage to shut up the boys or girls making fun of him and you, or give them a proper beating if you feel like so.

His sensibility always touched you deeply, and you were always here whenever he needed to vent about something or talk about his fears.

This is how you learned about the arson taking the life of his mother. The gradual shutting of his father and his obsession with fear and how to tame it.

When it was only researches, you found yourself really interested in Jonathan's father discoveries, as much as Jonathan himself. He was always a little genius in science and physics. Share it with him or not, your interest for the fear field wasn't feigned.

He gladly explained whatever you didn't understand and even suggested a few theories, sharing them with you.

It could have stayed this way, a passion, a subject of research. But it had to escalate when Jon's father started to look for unwilling test subjects.

You weren't aware of it at first. Unsuspecting, until you found Jonathan doubled in half on the floor of the school's bathroom one day, crying like a river and mumbling nonsense about him being a monster and going straight to hell.

You rushed to him, crouching at his level and tried to shake him out of his shock. "Jon'! Hey! Look at me! What are you talking about, you're no monster! Something happened? Please talk to me."

Poor boy was an absolute mess but managed to hear you and let you help him to sit. And he spoke. Oh good lord, he spoke for an hour or so, telling you everything about his father and what he was doing to poor gothamites. How he was forced into this total craziness and how he started to fear his father will ask him to use you as a test subject one day.

Horrified. That's how you felt, frankly. You had to stay silent for a good five minutes to process everything your friend just told you.

But you liked Jonathan, and he wasn't responsible of his father madness, right?

You comforted him, swearing it was not his fault and he wasn't a monster.

When he finally stopped crying, you swore to him that you'll never tell it to anyone, not even the police *You were teens. Teens do stupid things like this. Well, adults too when you think about it...*

He would come to you every time his father would terrify some innocent in town, crying for hours on your shoulders.

When his dad used the toxin on him, he was on phone with you, making you yell bloody murder on the other side of the line and dropping everything you were doing to run to his house.

You crumbled when you saw your best friend on the ground under his phobia: a huge scarecrow, yelling, crying and spasming like he was having a heart attack. You rushed to him and pushed Harvey away, "He's my friend! Oh my god! Please do something!" You pleaded in tears, having to be manhandled by Jim to allow emergency services to reach him.

You were at the hospital everyday, hating you for not having call the GCPD sooner. Maybe it would have saved Jon. The guilt was eating you alive. When the docteur told you he was a lost cause, you felt like going into a tailspin. Then, came the numbness.

When Jonathan was transferred into an asylum where visits weren't allowed, you made a new friend: depression.

Nothing could help you, you wanted to die. Die for being responsible of your friend distress, die because all you were able to feel was pain.

You went to his house one day, when the guilt and pain were too much to bear. You found yourself inside his father's old office and started to rummage around his things. There, a syringe. With some shady yellow liquid floating inside of it.

You didn't had any idea about what was inside. But at this point, you didn't care any more. You took it in your hands, looked at it just a second before plunging it directly on your upper arm, emptying it in it.

Your yells of absolute terror were what made neighbors call the police, thinking a murder was happening in Crane's old house. When Gordon and Bullock found you, they felt ice in their veins. You were Jonathan's friend. The one who found him with them that night. The one who always was by his side at the hospital before his transfer. Jim felt he failed you. Harvey too.

You went through the exact same hell as Jonathan. First the delirium, the nightmares... When you finally managed to wake up, your diagnosis was the same as him: a lost cause. Arkham was your new stop. They didn't want to send you to the same facility's Jonathan was in, too afraid it would be too much of a shock for both of you guys.

Oh but fate has its own ways. And you finally saw each other again, years later. When he was now incarcerated as Scarecrow.

He recognized you immediately. Not believing what he was seeing. What happened to you? He tried to find you when he started his criminal career but it was like your very existence vanished from earth.

He was always perceptive. A minute was enough for him to understand: you were exposed to his toxin. Well, to his father's toxin.

He was as sorry for you as he was impress when you explained him you took the same dose of toxin he took a few years back and was still living to tell the tale.

Since you were his friend *cough* and also school sweetheart *cough*, and now totally immune to his fear toxin, he decided it was time for him to take care of you and make sure you were always safe.

Be ready for a clingy best friend-lover, for cuddles every times you two are alone, to weird scary gifts, halloween chocolates, dead flowers and basically any weird thing he would find romantic or cute.

A/N - I hope you liked it! Have a beautiful day/night my dear, take care!

[melandrops]

Dark Side of the Moon and Their Fear Entities

Speak to Me - Stranger

It's the pounding heartbeat, the ticking clock and the man that sounds just a bit too distant to make out, the strange laugh that sounds inhuman, the rotors of plane as they grow closer. Something is deeply wrong but it's too early to tell what.

Breathe (In The Air) - Vast

The scream that starts it out, like the first jump off a skyscraper. The gentle melody, like flying above the clouds. For long you live, and high you fly. And when at last the work is done, don't sit down it's time to dig another one. The futility of existence, the inconsequentiality of life. But only if you ride the tide, and balanced on the biggest wave, you race towards an early grave. Even success in life leads only to one end.

On the Run - Hunt

The adrenaline inducing droning. The pounding footsteps and heavy pantings. The woman over the intercom. The sound of a plane flying overhead. Something is coming, and you have been running for a long time. It ends with a plane crash, and with someone still running. Will they ever gain enough ground to stop?

Time - End

You are young and life is long, and there is time to kill today. And then one day you'll find ten years have got behind you. The sun is the same in a relative way. But you're older, shorter of breath, and one day closer to death. Warm your bones beside the fire. The tolling of the iron bell brings faithful to their knees. It all ends the same way.

The Great Gig in the Sky - Desolation

The woman who screams is reminiscent of a messiah, a woman who is larger than life and designed for greatness. She screams and mourns for the simple life she could have led, if she was just a girl. Life is beautiful and painful and too short for her. And ultimately she failed. I was never frightened of dying, she says as she strings the rope around her neck, unable to be who her people needed her to be.

Money - Corruption

What is money if not Corruption incarnate? Take it and run. It's yours. It sings a sweet song to you. New day, caviar, four star, daydream, think I'll buy me a football team. Don't give me that do goody good bullshit. The promise of it digs into your brain like worms and more, more, more.

Us and Them - Slaughter

The story of war, and of senseless violence. A state that promises its people it does this for the good of all of them. Innocent men who are only doing what they're told watching as their fellow man bleeds out and dies or burns alive. War is constant and merciless.

Any Colour You Like - Web

I have no explanation for this. It came to me in a vision from God. Picture Annabelle Cane as she weaves her tapestry of silk and lies and pawns.

Brain Damage - Spiral

The lunatic is on the grass. The lunatic is in my head. There's someone in my head but it's not me. Rearrange me til I'm sane. You shout but no one seems to hear. The oddly distorted laugh.

Eclipse - Eye/Dark

The sun sees it all. All that you touch and all that you see and all that you taste. It watches over all, leering over your shoulder and leaving no room to escape. Except that the moon can block the sun, just for a little bit. And everything is in darkness. Is that any better?

[rozaceous]

As somebody who...might...be more than a little addicted to reading fics, uh. ...

yo this is a place of no judgment and deep compassion bc I'm not being cute or at all joking when I say that I'm addicted. it's a genuine (if relatively benign in the scheme of things) behavioral addiction. in my therapist's words, approximately, it's at least not self-harm or doing coke, lol.

at the same time, it's something I use as a dissociative crutch, and while I've always read a lot, it gained a huge foothold in my life when I worked three jobs, was having significant family drama and health issues, and understandably had no energy or time for enjoyable activities that weren't reading on my phone. and then covid happened. so fanfic was legit something that helped keep me sane and happy, and I'm eternally grateful to all the authors who write and share their work. it's art in the truest sense, in my opinion. this doesn't stop it from simultaneously having become a maladaptive coping strategy that currently hinders me from living life as fully as I want.

there are a lot of other things to that last statement, obviously, and I won't go into it here bc I do have a therapist for that, and also it's personal. but I know without a doubt that I'm not the only person who has trouble with this.

one of the things I've been doing recently is trying to understand why it's so easy to fall into this kind of addiction, specifically how our current techno-cultural landscape plays a role, as well as resilience strategies. I expect I'll be reading and learning for a long time, but on the role of technology and how it relates to our (in)attention culture, I liked:

The Shallows by Nicholas Carr (published in 2009 before the socmed boom but still so incredibly topical)

The Glass Cage by Nicholas Carr (specifically about automation, and published in 2014 before AI exploded...also still very topical)

How to Do Nothing by Jenny Odell

Deep Work by Cal Newport

[luna-rainbow]

Thanks again for answering my ask and sorry to bombard you with these.

I absolutely agree with you about Bucky and Zemo on TFatWS. This might be long as I have so many thoughts about this. The series seems to fail to understand T'Calla wasn't just someone who helped Bucky although he was of course. He was his friend. The movies don't get everything right with Bucky but I think Bucky and T'Calla's relationship is one of the high points. We don't see them much but when you do you can tell Bucky respected T'Calla immensely and not just because he's a King. He seems to be really genuinely fond of Shuri as well, asking her to call him Bucky instead of the formal Sargeant Barnes.

I know I said it before, but the Wakandans are his friends/his protectors/his adoptive family. He is not just some white guy with colonialist arrogance who expects favours from the African State. If anything its the other way around- he fought because he felt he owed T'Calla and his family a debt.

As such- I do not think he would ever have helped the person who killed T'Callas father. Yes he didn't know T'Chaka, but that is his friend's father. Its like if he found out someone killed Steve's mother and worked with them. Like slapping his friend in the face, and I can't see him doing that.

Also, finally can we talk about how the show robbed us of the emotional impact of T'Challa's death on Bucky? He's sad about Steve leaving but I firmly believe would have grieved for T'Calla too. He's lost not one but two of his best friends within a very short space of time, so he's got grief alongside all his other problems to deal with. Don't know how that man managed to stay sane. Well relatively sane and didn't have a complete breakdown.

Thanks for all the asks!

I love the idea that T'Challa and Bucky had a strong bond. I agree I think Ryan Coogler intended in that short post-credit scene to show that Wakandans have accepted Bucky as part of the family.

The kids are peering down curiously at him as he sleeps, and he doesn't startle, nor does he startle them when he wakes. There's a high degree of mutual trust there. He lives in their community, not in a boxed off high tech room like the one where he was put to sleep. They dressed him in their ethnic clothing and colour-coded it to match Steve. Someone tied (and probably combed) his hair for him when he didn't have a prosthesis. Someone has folded a blue shawl and tied it into a pretty sling to protect the stump of his arm. This is the image of a guy that was being well looked after -- not just in an impersonal, we gotta keep him alive kind of way, but in a what can we do to make his life better kind of way, and if that isn't some sort of family I don't know what is.

I mean...compare with this costume...that looks like some random sweatshirt from some sports brand worn backwards with the extra fabric pinned and pulled over tautly over his right shoulder, complete with the soft elastic cuffs and the weird neckline. Coogler put more effort into a 30 second cameo than TFATWS did for one of Bucky's most emotionally poignant scenes in a series where he's the main character. Sorry I'm never going to pass on an opportunity to shit on the series.

And like yeah, while I don't ship T'Challa and Bucky (I really like T'Challa with Nakia in the MCU), I think they're an underrated dynamic. They strike me as somewhat similar in temperament? Both peace-loving, respectful and compassionate guys, who have a strong sense of loyalty and a fierce streak when someone they love is hurt. And both Bucky and T'Challa are older brothers to younger sisters, and they both have that oldest kid sense of weary responsibility. And for someone who was broken out of 70 years of brainwashing by being reminded of a promise he made, Bucky clearly has a strong sense of loyalty and responsibility.

So yeah, it makes no sense to me that Bucky would actively do something so personally hurtful, so disloyal and irresponsible to T'Challa, without adequate justification.

As for the mourning, yeah. At the time they didn't know how Coogler was planning to write T'Challa out of the story, so that might be why the mourning wasn't in there. To be honest, Bucky's feelings about Steve was handled poorly too. As I've mentioned before, the series avoids actually addressing how Steve's departure played out. Sam and Bucky are sad about Steve's absence, but never talk about the hurtful way Endgame!Steve abandoned both of them, which is far more emotionally relevant. They talk about him as though he had died in a noble sacrifice, not dumped the world on them and went to mess up someone else's timeline.

[heraldofcrow]

More weird ideas on the (headcanoned) Cainhurst siblings—

They both had pyromancy and were actually born with the ability, not taught it. They had enhanced genetics inherited from their specific bloodline that held more Pthumerian traits than others. My theory is that the bloodline had been relatively normal until Cainhurst received the forbidden blood, and then the children like Maria that were born afterwards were not necessarily Vilebloods, but surely posessed more of their ancestral features. (Vileblood parent ≠ Vileblood child unless the child later consumes blood as well).

This is why Maria’s third phase is basically her tapping into her full-blown Pthumerian heritage.

To Maria, this state was a sacrifice of one’s humanity, because Pthumerians themselves are not human by any means. Maria saw them as monsters, and she avoided her pyro-blood desperately. Whenever the fire would seep through her veins in moments of anger or weakness, she quickly suppressed it out of fearful instinct. She only gives into her inhumanity in the nightmare, a symbolic retelling of what she did as a hunter in the real world.

The Bloody Crow was slightly different to Maria. He inherited the same Pthumerian traits and the pyromancy within his blood, but his birth was cursed and his fire was erratic. He could not suppress it through his will the way Maria could. If it wanted to flare up, it would. Moments of mania and anger led to this—of which Crow had plenty.

The only thing that helped was to absorb numbing mist, which as we know, numbs the senses/brain enough to drain the life essence. This was the only discipline that worked, and it led to a rather obsessive addiction to the mist in Crow. When he was sane, he shared the same desire as Maria to be human and control his flame.

Yet also like Maria, there was a time when he did not care anymore and let it explode. Both siblings embraced their monstrosities after believing themselves to have truly lost their human sides.

So basically, neither of them had a simple relationship with pyromancy.