#that was just a chill gay guy when he first started working and the two of us mostly got along

[cryolyst]

-

[rottenaero]

What if Steve got kicked out of his parent’s house after season 2?

He was already on thin ice after s1, with the beers and his fight with Jonathan, but after he got into ANOTHER fight with Billy they’re just kinda like, ‘pack your shit and leave’

And after a few weeks of living out of his car in the school parking lot, Eddie notices him after Hellfire and just kinda like, offers his house as a place to stay.

Of course Steve is like, ‘nah, ill be fine’ because he doesn’t want to freeload, but Eddie is absolutely not having it and convinces him that he wouldn’t be, and that he can pay him and do chores and shit if he really feels that bad about it.

Then Steve just starts living with him, of course there are rules, don’t invite people over, don’t talk about Eddie’s business, and don’t talk about the shit in his room.

The rest is the standard criteria, don’t bring animals in, don’t burn the house down, blah blah blah.

Course Wayne is a bit mad about this random guy with the last name Harrington at first, but the guy makes him coffee before he leaves for work, and is willing to put on a goddamn sailor costume to pay help pay the rent, so eventually they become acquaintances.

Eventually turning into the two watching sports on the tv and laughing at Eddies antics.

Thing is, during this whole thing, no one knows they live together. Dustin and the party don’t get much more than i moved out with a friend after the first time they ask to hang out at his house, and Hellfire just knows he has a roommate, not that its Steve, because all his shit is in the living room and hes always working when they’re over.

One day, mid-lunch, they decide to hang out at Eddie’s after school and he's all cool with it but is like ‘wait, my roommates off, let me go ask them if its okay’ and they're like ‘sure, okay, I wonder who it is?’

Then he waltzes straight up to Steve Harrington, who’s sitting by Nancy and Jonathan, and asks.

“Hellfires coming over afterschool, you good with that?”

“Yeah sure, do whatever, its your damn house, I can get out your hair if you want?”

“Nah nah, its all good, want you to meet ‘em anyway. Hey hey, wanna sit with us today?”

“Sure.”

Then Eddie heads back to the now silent Hellfire table (actually the whole cafeteria is a little silent) and sits down in his seat, Steve sitting in the empty one next to him.

Hellfire is absolutely confused, not just because Steve lives with him, but because of the very talked upon rumors about Eddie being gay, and how very true they were, and the fact that as a former-king, Steve should know that.

Steve however, seems very unconcerned with those rumors because for as close as Eddie keeps getting to him, even holding his bicep at some point, he acts very chill and relaxed, even leaning into him at some points.

Hellfire eventually calm down, and go to his house after school, and around 10 they decide to just stay the night. Eddie gives them a thumbs up, and turns to Steve.

“You’re bunking with me tonight.”

“Cool.”

Gareth starts panicking because there is a very obvious pride flag above one of his posters and he may not have seen it before and Eddie is so getting beaten up.

Except none of that happens. They wake up early that morning and Steve starts getting ready for work, and is about to leave when he turns to Eddie with a smirk.

“What, no goodbye kiss? Too dorky to do in-front of you friends?” And Eddie strolls right past the flabbergasted Hellfire and plants one on his temple.

“Goodbye o-great-king-of-assholery!”

Gareth quite literally chokes.

(What makes this even better? They’re not even dating, thats just Steve-being-Steve)

Part 2

Ao3

[iblameashley]

I'm punny and you know it.

Civilian | Male | Gay

1,608 words Content: Minor warning for mention of panic attack. follow up to Friental - My Personal Friend Rental.

Simon ’Ghost’ Riley | Male/GN Reader

!!!SFW!!!

You've had a few meeting with this Si guy now, but he's inviting you over to his flat? Well, its not against the rules, but you're surprised to say the least.

(Thanks to @loneghostwolf for permission to use this image)

You learned from the last time, and as Si opened the door to his flat, you clasped your hands behind your back. 'No touching' you reminded yourself. 'And be respectful.' this was you first time at his Flat. A shock that after only four in-person meetings, he'd agree to.

Si opened the door, masked, as per the agreement and looked you over. Always with the suspicion. You kind of liked it, mostly because you could only be less of a threat. His hair was still unruly, and you suspected he normally wore a hat of some kind. His eyes were a little more sunken than usual. They were puffy and dry.

He stepped out of the way, and ushered you inside.

“I like the mask.” You said as you entered his flat. It was new, well, for you. A jawbone pattern splashed across his face.

He grunted and closed the door.

You glanced around, taking in the simplicity of the space. "Nice place you've got here. It's cozy." Simon looked around. "It's functional."

'Oh thank fuck.' you thought. 'won't have to elaborate on that, at least.' This place was sparse to say the least. It looked like he was either moving in, or out.

His living space was minimalistic, with a few practical items scattered around—a small coffee table, a bookshelf filled with manuals and classics, and a modest-sized TV. The walls were adorned with a few framed photographs nondescript people you were sure he wasn't going to tell you about. There was also a world map marked with red pins, you figured they indicated places he had travelled. The atmosphere was quiet and chilled, reflecting Simon's personality as you knew it.

You settled on the pristine couch, maintaining a respectable distance between you two, as per Si's rule. You propped yourself against the armrest so you could look at him. He was reclining with his hands once again in his hoodie pockets. His gaze was firmly affixed to the TV that was on a news channel, muted.

“So remember last time we met I was telling you about my sister?” You began. He nodded and you continued. “Well, she's planning to come visit soon. She's bringing my niece with her as well. Nether of them have been on this side of the pond.” You were getting excited.

He looked at you with a tilted head. He was interested. Rule four. You were starting to understand him and his nuances.

“She's gonna be here for a month, so I may need to postpone some of our meetings. Thats something I though we could discuss later?”

“Mmm.” He grunted. A simple acknowledgement. A fact.

“Excellent. I rarely get to see them, and my niece is turning ten soon, so I want to celebrate her birthday while shes in England.”

You went off on a tangent of family drama and stories of your rivalry you had with your sister as a child. How you used to absolutely torment each other with pranks, jokes and sometimes fights. But there was always a hint of love in your words. Fondness.

Simon sat there and listened with his utmost attention. He liked having you talk. He liked that he could deep dive into your voice and forget the ones in his head that clawed at his ears and neck. Voices of the dead, or the ones he wished were dead. Or just the demons that haunted him when he was allowed to be along with himself for too long. But mostly, he was grateful to not have to talk about work, or hear people talk about his work.

He appreciated the one-four-one team, even Soap. But all he had in common with them was the military, death and endless missions. The aches and pains of his failing body as his career took its tole on him. He assumed the nightmares came for them as well. He didn't want that. He wanted to try feeling normal. This was normal.

Your eyes turned to the map on the wall. You looked at North America and saw several red pins. To your surprise, one appeared to be pinned to a port-city you grew up near. You knew there was a military base there, and with the books and sparse nature of his apartment, it started to click.

“You travel a lot, it seems.” You finally say. “Or did the pins come with the map?” You joked.

He turned away from you. Rule four again. You knew there was at least a hint of a smile pulling at the sides of his mouth. He'd never show you, but it made you happy to know he had a sense of humour.

“They came as a set.” He finally said. He flashed you a glace.

You smiled and quietly laughed. You knew he was pulling your leg, but it was nice. He rarely spoke, so you had to enjoy those times he did. But he was also a roller coaster of moods, sometimes you thought you had him opening up, the next minutes he'd shut down. Your last appointment with him, he booked you for two hours and you both sat in silence for the last forty-five minutes after you had made a comment that didn't quite land with him.

You sighed a breath of relief when he booked another appointment with you a couple of days later. Which lead you to tonight.

You didn't know what cause the sudden change in his mood, but his eyes had been locked on the TV. By the time you had looked over, the report must have ended.

Simon's heart rate quickened, and a wave of unease washed over him. Memories flooded his mind, threatening to break through his carefully constructed walls. The weight of of his emotions pressed against his chest, constricting his breath. Even through the mask, you could tell something had happened. Simon's stoic expression tightened, his body rigid with tension. Every fiber of his being screamed at him to get you out of his flat, but he resisted. He was fighting to maintain his composure because he knew if he scared you, he'd lose his only distraction from work.

The chaos of his mind started to swirl around like a tornado, and his eyes fell to you. There were beads of sweat forming on his brow, and you knew you had to at least bend some of the rules.

“Si. You doing OK?” You asked with a hushed tone. You felt like you were attending to a wounded animal. “Need something?”

Simon shook his head. It was slow and methodical, and you weren't buying it.

You stood up and walked over to his kitchen and filled a glass full of water. You weren't exactly a doctor, so you didn't know what to you. But you did know what not to do. Gripping the cup tightly you marched back to Simon and held the glass in front of him, keeping as much distance as you could.

“Take it.” You said, shoving it forward.

He stared at you for a moment before he took it with a shaky hand. He looked at the glass of water, and then at you. How was he supposed to drink this? That was the thought you knew was rolling around in his head.

Wanting to respect the rules of your agreement. You moved to sit yourself down on the floor beside his coffee table; your back to his, and your eyes firmly fixed to the floor.

“You should drink that.” You said. “And take several deep breaths.”

You felt the tick-tick-ticking of time passing, and it seemed to last forever, until suddenly you heard the sound of Simon gulping down the water. He made a huff as he finished the water off and put the glass down on the coffee table with a 'clink'.

“Better?” You inquired.

You heard him shuffle on the couch and let out an indifferent grunt.

“Hey, Si?” You started, not moving from your place on the floor. You didn't wait for him to reply. “Why don't skeletons fight each other?”

There was another tick of time.

“Because they don't have guys.” You finished.

There was a low guttural chuckle that escaped his mouth. You felt his boot on your back, and he gave you a gentle push forward.

“Fucking terrible.” He said, the faint hint of his laugh still on his lips.

A wall had come down. You didn't know for how long, but it was important. He seemed to like the joke, so you cracked another.

“Why do scuba divers fall backwards off the boat?” You wait a beat. “Because if they fell forward they'd still be on the boat.”

“Heh.” He grunted.

“All good now? Can I turn back around?” You asked.

He gave you another push with his boot. You took that to mean 'yes' and took your place back on the far end of the couch.

Simon sat on the couch, tension still consuming his body, but he seemed calmer overall. He was clammy from the sweat that covered his forehead and he was breathing deeply. But he was calm. His eyes were impassive as they looked at you. He had asked you to keep talking, and you were happy to.

As you walked home from your meeting, your phone dinged with a notification. You had stayed longer than the allotted time and Simon was sending and updated payment for the extra hour you spent with him. You denied it, and shoved the phone back in your pocket.

[hairstevington]

flowers and ink (part 2)

Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington

Summary: Eddie and Steve like each other, but unfortunately Eddie thinks Steve is dating Robin, and they're both generally just gay disasters who don't know how to communicate

(part one found here)

Word Count: 3K

Warnings: Tattoo Artist!Eddie, Florist!Steve, fluff, gay panic, Platonic Soulmates Steve and Robin, Will is here and we love him, everybody is a sweetheart and an idiot, it's just cute and funny

A/N: Ha ha, remember when I said this would be two parts? I'm having so much fun with it that I'm making it three parts. I hope you don't mind??? Also this story is officially cross posted on Ao3 for those interested!

“Steve, did you give Eddie a 50% tip?” Robin asked as they walked out of Ink About It.

“Well, I’ve never been that great at math,” Steve mumbled, blushing. 

“Uh-huh. I’m sure that’s the reason.”

“He did a great job?” Steve offered. He wasn’t even sure why he was denying the obvious. Robin knew Steve way too well to play these games. 

“You like Eddie,” she stated.

“I barely know him,” Steve shrugged.

“Yeah, but his work is permanently on your skin forever,” Robin pointed out. 

“Jesus, why did you have to say that?” Steve whined with a groan. “He’s hot, okay? Will you just leave it?”

He knew she wouldn’t leave it. It was kind of her specialty.

“It was just so cute seeing you be all flirty with him,” Robin said. 

“God, I hope it wasn’t that obvious.”

“Don’t worry, he was too focused on his work to notice,” she assured him. “Come on, we just did something big, let’s celebrate!”

So, they did.

The next time they worked together, the teasing was relentless. Steve couldn’t escape it due to the tattoo shop being right through the glass. He couldn’t help trying to see if Eddie was in there. 

“Oh my god, just go back there and talk to him,” Robin suggested.

“I can’t just go there, Robin,” Steve replied. “I’d have to, like, make another appointment or something.”

“You’re willing to get a new tattoo every time you see this guy, Dingus?” Steve chuckled.

“If I have to, sure.” Robin smacked him playfully on the arm. 

“You’re ridiculous.”

“Oh, and you’re any better?” Steve challenged. “Remind me again why you started working here.” Robin rolled her eyes. 

“Whatever, we’re both gay disasters,” she replied. “I still think you should go over there. I’ll cover for you.”

“Wait, you mean now?” Steve asked, confused. 

“Yeah,” Robin confirmed. “It’s been so slow I’m going crazy, Harrington. I need something to spice up the day, and this fits the bill.” She put her hands on his chest and pushed him backwards toward the front door. “Do it. Go.” Steve sighed.

“It’s a good thing I love you, Buckley.”

And with that, he was off to the tattoo parlor.

-

Bob took the morning off to take Will to brunch, leaving Eddie alone in the shop. He didn’t mind holding the fort, because he could plan breaks and moments to relax based on the appointments he had for the day. Tattoo shops were chill.

Most people generally knew not to walk into a tattoo place without notice. Appointments and communication beforehand were necessary so that the artist could design and adjust, plan their day, etc. 

Steve apparently didn’t have that memo. But when he sauntered into Ink About It, Eddie didn’t care about his lack of a heads up. 

He was wearing his work polo - light blue with the name of the flower shop over his heart. He looked a bit nervous, but Eddie figured that was because the man clearly did not fit into a place like this. 

“Back for more already?” Eddie teased. Steve blushed, and it was cute how nervous tattooing made him. He wondered if Steve regretted getting one in the first place. 

“I just have a question,” Steve said. He walked up to the counter and leaned his elbows on it, making the height difference between them drastic enough where Steve had to angle his chin up to make eye contact. 

“Shoot,” Eddie permitted. 

“Is the damn thing supposed to like - peel?” Steve asked. 

Eddie just about lost it. He never wanted to make someone feel bad for not knowing these things, but Steve was just so goddamn cute about it. He pressed his lips together as tightly as he could so he wouldn’t give himself away, then nodded. 

“Yup,” Eddie answered. “The first week or so you’ll see it flake off. Don’t pick at it or scrub it or anything.”

“Would it come off if I do?” Steve asked. 

Okay. Now the guy HAD to be fucking with him. Don’t laugh don’t laugh be professional do what Bob would do.

“I - uh, well no I’m afraid tattoos are permanent, Steve,” Eddie responded. Steve looked at him dumbly for a second, then shifted back up to standing and burst out laughing. 

Eddie watched, confused, until Steve spoke again. 

“I’m just fucking with you Eddie. I may not know a lot about tattoos, but I know they’re permanent, okay?” Eddie seeing Steve goof around like this was charming in a way Eddie hadn’t seen yet. He’d really only known Steve with a brave face on, caring for Robin when she got scared. Eddie had already been crushing on Steve, and hearing him laugh now took the crush to new heights. 

“Oh,” Eddie said, smiling back with a light chuckle. “Alright then. So yeah, if it’s flaking that’s okay, but I can look at it if you want.” Steve nodded, so Eddie gestured for them to go back to the space where Steve got the tattoo in the first place. 

Steve stood there awkwardly, looking at the table he was supposed to sit on, then down at his ankle, then back up. 

“How do you want me?” he asked. 

Eddie really wished he didn’t say that. 

“Uh, you can just sit like you did the other day and pull your pant leg up.” Steve did as told, crossing his left leg over his right so his ankle was in clear view. 

Eddie knew at first glance it was healing just fine, but he lingered on his work for an extra few seconds, just to extend the moment as much as he could. 

“So, what’s the verdict?” Steve asked, nervously. Eddie shook his head to get himself out of his daze. 

“Everything looks good,” he confirmed. “Maybe a bit dry. Are you putting lotion on it?”

Steve nodded, then named a kind of lotion Eddie knew was shit for this sort of thing, but it would do in a pinch. Eddie caught sight of the clock and realized Bob was going to show up with Will any moment. 

“I guess I should head out,” Steve said, noticing Eddie’s focus drifting to the time. 

“Uh, right,” Eddie said. He really did need Steve to go, but he didn’t want him to. “Yeah, I got - the manager is coming in soon with this kid who I guess is into art. I’m supposed to show him the ropes and -” Eddie paused, realizing he was just about to spill his whole guts to Steve without even thinking about it. 

“And?” Steve pressed. Shit. Eddie took a deep breath. 

“I guess the kid just came out and Bob thinks he needs another gay person to talk to or something,” Eddie admitted. 

“Oh,” Steve replied. Eddie couldn’t read his expression. He definitely looked a bit surprised, but most people did. Eddie couldn’t even count the amount of times someone had said something like, I had no idea. You don’t look it. Like, what the fuck does that even mean? He waited for Steve to say something similar, but instead the door opened. 

“Hey, Eds, we’re back!” Bob announced from the waiting area.

“Uh, good luck,” Steve mumbled, fixing his pant leg and standing up. He turned to leave, but froze when he saw the kid. “Will?”

“Steve?!” 

“Wait, you two know each other?” Eddie asked, confused. 

“Uh, yeah. I kinda used to babysit him,” Steve answered. “How have you been, dude? You’re almost as tall as me now!”

Eddie and Bob watched as Will ran to Steve and hugged him, both of them smiling warmly. 

“I’m good! Things are good!” Will said. He separated from Steve and looked to Eddie. “You must be the artist Bob has told me about.”

“That’s me,” Eddie replied with a wave. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Well, I gotta get back to work,” Steve said, knowing that he was no longer supposed to be there. “But you’re in good hands with Eddie. He just gave me my first tattoo and he’s pretty great.”

Eddie had no idea why Steve was complimenting him so much. He could feel himself blushing. 

“You work at the place across the street?” Will asked. Steve nodded. “Yup, with Robin,” he answered. 

“Oh, how’s she doing?” Will asked. 

“She’s good. Same as always. Still the best person I know.”

Aww. That was sweet. But also annoying. For Eddie, anyway. Their goddamn relationship was long term and solid as ever, apparently.

Steve insisted again that he should get going, and then he was off. 

“So,” Eddie said, clapping his hands together. “What do you want to see first?”

They started with a tour of the place. Eddie showed Will his tattooing space first, going over the tools and explaining how it all worked. Then, Will started asking Eddie about his own tattoos, so they went over all of those next. It took a long time, because Eddie had a lot of tattoos to explain, each of them with their own backstory. Some backstories were more involved and coherent than others. Some of them just consisted of, “oh yeah, I was kinda tipsy and it seemed like a good idea at the time. Don’t do that by the way.”

“I don’t want a tattoo, anyway,” Will had responded. Eddie nodded, but had an inkling from the way Will was so fascinated by all this that he’d change his mind someday. 

After that, Eddie showed Will a bunch of designs he’d done in the past, then a few he was currently working on. Will ended up showing Eddie some of the drawings he’d done. 

“Oh, shit,” Eddie said, completely blown away. “You’re really talented, man.”

“Thanks,” Will replied with a smile. “I’ve been doing it my whole life.”

“That’s awesome. So, you think you’re gonna get into tattooing?”

“I dunno, maybe,” he responded with a shrug. “I’m going to college in the fall for art, but I don’t really know what I’m gonna do with it yet.”

“That’s soooo normal,” Eddie replied. He’d heard people say as much often, so he figured he’d pass the knowledge along. “I didn’t go to college, but I found my place here. I wasn’t an artist my whole life like you, but it turned out to kind of be perfect for me.”

“Isn’t it weird to have your designs on people’s bodies forever?”

“It’s kind of awesome, actually,” Eddie said with a grin. “It was a little wild at first to work on skin, but thankfully they had me start on oranges, first.”

“Really?” Will asked, amused. “I had no idea!”

“Yeah!” Eddie responded. “You wanna try?”

“You just have an orange lying around?” 

“I like citrus, what can I tell ya.”

Will practiced a few designs under Eddie’s watch. He caught a glimpse of Bob in the office, smiling at the two of them bonding. 

Will was cool. He was sweet. He was also sarcastic in a sneaky way. Sometimes he’d say something that caught Eddie off guard, just because Will seemed shy and quiet at first. He wasn’t, really. 

“I know why Bob wanted me to meet you,” Will said. They’d peeled the orange and were now splitting it.

“Hm?” Eddie asked. “I mean, so you could check out the shop, right?”

“It’s okay, I know he wants me to talk to other gay people,” Will pointed out, rolling his eyes. “Bob isn’t that slick.”

Eddie chuckled. Smart kid.

“Yeah, well I’ll talk about it if you want me to, but figured I’d let you bring it up first. When I was your age, I didn’t really wanna talk to anyone, but you’re a lot different than I was.”

“What do you mean?” Will asked. 

“Uhhhhhhh….” Eddie looked around nervously. Bob had closed the door to the office. “I was all over the place back then. I was the school freak - that’s literally what they called me.”

Eddie had gotten over the trauma of high school the last few years. His life stabilized, and he realized all the shit people thought about him were irrelevant. He left all of it behind, and he was a lot happier now. 

“People bully me too,” Will confessed quietly. 

“People suck,” Eddie said with a sigh. “I guess that much hasn’t changed since I graduated. Maybe we aren’t so different after all, then.”

Eddie didn’t think Will dealt drugs or got into fights like Eddie used to, but people don’t have to go through the same things to feel the same things. 

-

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT.

Eddie’s gay. This changes everything. 

Steve did his best to exit Ink About It calmly, and it took everything in him not to fully sprint across the street. He still ended up doing a fast walk that was basically a jog. 

He flung himself to the door and opened it, taking a deep breath. 

“Robin!” he shouted. 

His eyes focused on the absolute chaos happening in the shop. People were everywhere, like what the fuck? Robin was manning the register and answering questions as best as she could, but she was clearly in over her head. 

“Help,” she mouthed with terror in her eyes. 

Steve desperately wanted to tell her that this was karma for her saying she was bored and sending Steve away. He also wanted to tell her about his time at Ink About It. But there were other priorities first. 

Steve quickly swooped in to help her cash customers out. She scurried to the back to handle the many customers who wanted to know about the various flowers being sold. 

Steve was able to gather through small talk with the customers that prom was happening at the school down the road, and everyone was getting last minute flowers for their dates.

More accurately, the parents were. Some brave kids showed up, but they looked completely lost. 

They continued working until the rush died down, leaving the two of them on the edge of exhaustion. 

“That was brutal,” Steve muttered as he splayed himself across the counter. 

“So brutal,” Robin agreed. She was lying fully on the ground, starfish style. Bits of stems and flower petals surrounded her. It was kind of pretty, actually. 

“Hold on, stay right there,” Steve said, pulling his phone from his pocket. Before Robin could object, Steve snapped a picture from above. 

“Hey!” she said, sitting up. “I don’t want this moment of my life documented, Steven!” 

“Yes, you do. Look.” Steve bent down and showed her the picture. After a moment, she nodded. 

“Okay, fine. Yes. That’s going on my Instagram, thank you.”

“You should put it on your Hinge profile, too,” Steve suggested. 

“Good idea,” Robin agreed. She jumped to her feet and sighed. “I’m gonna go clean up the back.”

“I’ll be here,” Steve replied. 

Ten minutes went by, and then Steve heard a squealing.

“Shit! Fuck!” Robin didn’t actually curse that often, so Steve knew something must be very wrong. 

“Robs? You okay back there?” He rounded the corner just as Robin squatted behind some bouquets, concealing herself. 

“Don’t!” she yelled. “Okay, well actually I do need your help, but you have to promise not to laugh.”

“I can’t promise that, but I’ll try,” Steve said with a smirk. 

Robin straightened herself back up, and Steve got the full picture of what had happened. Her hair was all kinds of tangled in a watering can. 

He laughed so hard he cried. 

“I hate you, DIngus,” she muttered, not nearly as amused by the situation. 

“This is why you leave the watering to me,” Steve joked. “Come on, let’s get you fixed up.”

-

This is stupid. This is so stupid. Eddie, you are stupid. Get some help.

He was headed to Flowers for All with unscented lotion. For Steve. Because Eddie had no chill and was a simp. 

He didn’t even care if Steve was queer, or if he was taken. Eddie just wanted to talk to him more. 

So stupid.

Eddie walked in, triggering the bell above the door. He quickly heard voices from the back.

“Shit! Someone’s here!”

“It’s ok I got it I got it.”

There were more sounds of shuffling for a few seconds before Steve tumbled out of a doorway, blushing. 

Oh my god. Did I just interrupt them hooking up?

Eddie somehow felt even more like a dumbass. He wasn’t fazed by them getting it on at work - it’s not like he hadn’t done that before - it’s that he brought goddamn unscented lotion to his client’s place of work, unannounced and unprompted. 

“I - shit, sorry,” Eddie said, just about ready to turn and bolt. 

“It’s okay!” Steve assured him. “What’s going on Eddie?”

Robin ran out of the room so fast she almost fell over. 

“Eddie! What a wonderful surprise!” 

There was a teasing quality to her voice that Eddie mistook for her trying to cover up how flustered she was. This was all but confirmed when Steve gently elbowed her in the rib. 

“I brought this for you,” Eddie said. He raised the stupid fucking lotion so it was in plain view, then forced himself to walk to the counter and leave it there. “It’s what I use. Your tattoo will heal better. Uh - both of them. For both of you, I mean.”

“Hey, thanks, man.” Steve smiled and grabbed the lotion, inspecting it. 

“Do all tattoo artists care this much about their clients?” Robin asked. There was that teasing sound again. Is she jealous or something? 

“Well, I - Bob always tells me to be nice so I do my best. Sorry if I interrupted anything.”

Steve and Robin shared a knowing look. 

“You didn’t,” Steve said casually. “We’re finally dead again, which is the way we like it.”

“Yeah,” Robin agreed. “It was rough earlier, but we survived.”

“We always do,” Steve added. 

They were so friendly and kind, and they clearly loved each other very much. Eddie knew he needed to go. He had to go. He just needs to say goodbye, turn around, and -

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you guys about something,” Eddie blurted out. 

Shit.

He didn’t actually have anything to talk about. But luckily, one of his special skills included the ability to never shut the fuck up. 

He took a deep breath and decided to do a little improv.

(part three)

-----------------------

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[tuliptired]

Hiii!!! I love your fics sm ahhdhsbsb 🤭🤭🤭

Can I request a Ray or Egon one-shot with a GN or male rockstar reader? It could be present time or college days, I think them having a bit of gay panic would be fun, have a good day!!

Warrior in Woolworths

Pairing: Ray Stantz/Rockstar!Male!Reader

Warnings: Minor violence/blood

Shoutout to the Ray fans out there I salute you all

Better formatting on Ao3!! (italics and such)

 Ray pulled his trusty leather jacket closer to himself, hands in his pockets when a chill ran through the dark street. If he was going to this thing, he was gonna look the part.

He was given two tickets to a concert held in a venue he just couldn’t find. They were a gift- given to him by the short redheaded girl in his advanced algebra class for bringing all her work when she was stuck with tonsillitis.

“Gee, thanks!” Ray took the two slips of paper from her in the empty hallway. He pursed his lips, willing to take a chance. “Would you like to come with me?”

Her smile weakened. “I’m sorry. My boyfriend wouldn’t want me to.”

That crossed one person off the list, at least. In the moment, he wasn’t really trying to insinuate any sort of date. Back in high school, most of his friends were girls, and they loved live music. Their moms would get tons of pictures before they left and thank him for being such a good friend. College was surely complicating things.

He would’ve asked his sister, or one of his cousins, but they had their own things going on. Besides, the name of this band seemed a bit too extreme for his Aerosmith family. Where was this place, anyway? He’d circled the block at least twice, and the little part of New York felt more like a place where good kids whose parents paid for tuition shouldn’t be strolling around.

He had his friends- they were guys. Apparently guys were the ones to invite to concerts. But Peter wanted to have an early night. Which corner store did he have to solicit to get directions around here? Egon was a laughable option. Ray finally stopped his aimless wandering when a few kids in denim ran down the street, skipping down some steps and into the basement of a dimly lit dive.

Ray followed, the excitement and body heat of the minuscule hall spilling out when he opened the door, squeezing through and trying to hand a ticket to someone he assumed was supposed to handle them, though he was slumped back on a stool, smoke surrounded him. Ray just slipped the paper into a cardboard box filled with others, suddenly anxious at how packed it was. Even more smoke hazed up the air, floating up to a skylight and dancing above the heads of those who chose to hang off a balcony that wrapped around the room. He found himself imagining what this place used to be, velvety red remnants of what was once a hidden and cozy Italian place or even a comedy club covered up by large stage lights, posters, and spray paint.

Your little group made it out amidst screaming. Lots of screaming, so loud that the uproar alone shook his shabby barstool from the ground up. It was dark, the only things visible above countless people were the silhouettes of instruments and their attached handlers.

No introduction, no opener, just pure noise. Even bigger than the screaming, bass and bass drum fighting for capital over the space. Guitars cut through everything like a laser, sharp and clear. Everyone was going absolutely insane, and Ray just needed a second- just a second to pick apart sound and voices and words. 

The first song was over as soon as it started, a commotion of applause around him. The lights finally came up, ever so slightly, and he was starting to understand the hype. 

There you were, guitar around your shoulders and gripping a microphone like your life depended on it. You looked like you’d gone mad, in chunky boots and reflective leather.

“I’m pissed,” your voice rang out into the mic, and you were greeted with cheers across the board. When those died down, you started again. “People are trying to change what we do. They’re trying to make it something it’s not.”

You really knew how to get a crowd going. And maybe the butterflies in his stomach coming out of their cocoons- you sounded nothing like he expected. “Rock isn’t digestible. It isn’t a commodity. It’s dirty, it’s improper, it’s starved.”

The next song started after that. Harder, more aggressive, but more vocals than anything. You sang even better than you sounded. Ray could feel his bones rattling, hair sticking up on every part of his body as your fingers glided across your guitar. You played even better than you sang.

He stopped keeping track, at some point just feeling like pure energy. He was in a vacuum while the drummer hit the snare, a raging and vibrating vacuum. But it was far from unpleasant. This was a room full of people who had been wronged, downtrodden, ignored, and this was their release, musical or otherwise. Someone brought out a saxophone, something he could appreciate as a fellow woodwind. It helped that the frontman- frontperson? Was pretty damn good at what they did.

There was a slower song, sardonic and dark, where you were practically having relations with the microphone stand. Everything about you was teeming with a gnarly power, and Ray couldn’t even make out your features. Only the shine of white light bouncing off your clothes and accessories. You kept playing guitar like it’d kill you otherwise, and it all made him incredibly flustered. He clutched his hand over his heart. He wanted you bad, and he couldn’t even tell if you were a girl or not.

Ray wished it would never end, feeling the adolescent indignance and passion flow through him like it was intravenous. But, all good things had an expiration, and your band was backstage not long after midnight. He felt he’d be imposing if he mingled among the revolutionaries, but he needed to walk a bit, before he got too excited and tried to hit something.

When Ray found his car the next street over, he could barely get off the sidewalk when a police officer blew into his whistle.

“How long have you been parked here?” The man had his hands on his hips.

Ray blinked. “About an hour or three. Is that a problem?” The officer pointed up to a sign, which read that parking had been restricted here for most of the night.

He pulled out a pad of paper, muttering about “college kids” and “no one listens”, when Ray’s pulse quickened, clammy hands rubbing the nape of his neck. He’s never gotten a ticket before- whether that was because he was a good driver or conveniently avoided the cops was beside it all. There’s no way he had the money to pay for it, and no way he’d wanna bother his parents for it. How much were tickets, anyway? 

“What’re you doing?” An unfamiliar voice sounded from down the sidewalk, somewhat hidden in darkness.

The officer squinted and went back to scribbling out the fine. “Mind your own business and go home,” he shouted back.

“You can’t give him a ticket, I know that guy!”

He looked between Ray and the stranger, pen in hand. “You know this guy?”

“Duh.” There was a second of silence. “That’s Steve.”

The policeman stared at Ray like he was a felon, and Ray stared back just as dumbly. He’d go along with anything, if it kept his record clean. He stuffed his things back in his blue shirt pocket, stalking off slowly and continuing to talk of “damned punks” and “too old for night patrol.”

Ray stood under the orange street lamps, dumbfounded with his back against the passenger door. His wallet’s savior emerged from the shadows, and his breath hitched when he got a better look. You were the one on stage! With the guitar and the voice and a lot of dark stuff under your eyes. Crazy hair, at least to his understanding. You don’t see more than 5-6 different styles at an Ivy. Chains and rips on taut black leather- you definitely don’t see that at an Ivy. You had your jacket tied around square hips, exposing arms and shoulders with discreet tattoos. Self-done, perhaps? Regardless, that was NYU behavior, not Columbia. And you weren’t a girl. Should he still want you?

“I don’t think your name is really Steve.” 

His mouth opened and closed while he tried to remember English. “No. No, it’s Raymond.” He cringed inside. Why use the objectively lamer version of his name? He’s embarrassing himself in front of the funky rockstar. “Ray,” he corrected.

And the funky rockstar smiled at him. “You gotta fight back, Ray. Don’t let them take your $2.”

“You lied to a policeman over $2?” Ray questioned some of the virtues he’d been raised on.

You shrugged. “Money is money. You shouldn’t get hassled for parking on the street.” Huh. He’d never thought of it that way. “Did you enjoy it?”

“Enjoy getting a ticket?”

“No, dude, the show.” 

Oh yeah- he was at a concert for a super awesome band and their frontman, as he just found out, just covered for him. “Yeah, it was great.” It was more than great, dummy. It was electric, exhilarating, galvanizing, bewildering. “It was really, really great.”

Ray felt a tinge self conscious as you watched him, unblinking, fearing he had offended you somehow. “You don’t go to these things often.”

He nodded, guard dropping a bit. “What gave it away?”

You pointed out the clunky glasses tucked into the pocket of his shirt. “My mom said I should bring them wherever I go,” Ray laughed bashfully, pulling them out and sliding them into his dark jeans. 

He felt proud at making you snicker. “It’s cool. Half my bandmates wear contacts.”

“Where are they, anyway?” Ray realized you were out and about without them. He was probably holding you up from something. 

“They’re around here, somewhere. We’ll run into each other eventually.” Your attention shifted to his Camaro, running a hand over the paintjob. “Your car’s awesome, man.”

He already knew that, but the confirmation was nice. “Really? It still needs work.”

“Can’t even tell,” you peered into the passenger side window, “I’ve only seen these when they’ve been stolen.”

Ray didn’t wanna just leave you here, if that was true- even though you seemed more than capable of fighting off a few muggers. Perhaps he just wanted more time with the cool musician. “Wanna take a drive?” he ran a thumb over the back of his own knuckles. “See if we can find your friends?”

Ray went to a concert, alone, got a parking violation, and there’s a really peculiar guitarist sitting in his passenger seat, Doc Martens on his dashboard. And he couldn’t even bring himself to care about your shoes scuffing the interior fabric. 

“Where’re you looking to go?” He took note of how empty the city street seemed, the only light coming from lamp posts and 24-hour shops and restaurants, occasionally poking out of home curtains.

“Wherever you’re willing to take me.” Ray swallowed, bringing the car to life as you sat back, hands behind your head. He hadn’t been with many girls romantically, but they’d never been so comfortable so soon- not even his other male friends, let alone a stranger. A very alluring stranger.

You turned your head to face him casually. “No one gave you shit, right?”

He drove slower than you should on a residential road. “I don’t think so. I was at the bar the whole night.”

“Good.” Your belts and chains made clinking sounds as you crossed one ankle over the other. “The bar’s no fun. Find the guy messing with the speakers and tell him you know the color of my underwear, that’ll get you up close.”

“I’m not sure my guess will be correct.”

“It’s always green on show nights, I can show you-” Ray struggled to keep his eyes on the turn he was making when you shimmied up, thumbs in the hem of your pants.

“I believe you,” he successfully got onto another street without veering onto the sidewalk. “When’s your next show?”

Ray had a small grin as you slumped back down. “Not for a crazy long time. Not here, at least.” That news sucked. He should hassle you for a phone number, if that wasn’t too bold. So you could be pen-pals, obviously. “We’re friends, right?”

He kept driving, not entirely sure of where he was going and scared he’d instinctively take the route back to his dorm, but at ease at the feeling of rolling rubber on asphalt. “In all of 10 minutes.”

Your laughter filled his car. “If- when we find them. We usually bounce around a few more shows, drink some, crash somewhere for the night. Wanna come with?”

Ray would’ve leapt at the opportunity to have the night with his new friend, but his old friend needed him. Peter went to bed early to be rested to see his dad the next afternoon. He wanted Ray there as a buffer, in case his day at home was as grating as he expected it to be. “I’m sorry, I promised my friend I’d go out with him in the morning.” he frowned, seeing that it was already past his bedtime.

He’d like to think you were a bit disappointed. “No problem,” you pulled out two little white things, “the least I could do is treat you to a smoke.”

The car slowed at a fairly useless stoplight in the desolate intersection. You lit his own before he lifted it to his lips, but the one in between your fingers refused to ignite next to the sparking lighter. “Outta fuel,” you uttered.

Before Ray could finish gazing down at the center console for his own, your calloused palms held onto either side of his jaw, pressing your unlit cigarette to his ablaze one. It was so close to a kiss that he found himself wondering where to put his hands, one gripping the steering wheel and the other the firm shoulder of the seat next to him. Which was stupid, because kisses were reserved for his mother’s cheek. And girlfriends who called him Raymond and kissed him at the door but never ended up calling again. And girl friends who called him Stantz and only kissed him at the door to get their moms off their backs.

You definitely weren’t his mom, or a girlfriend, or even a girl friend, and Ray felt himself wishing, deep down and with sweaty palms, that there weren’t two rolled partitions between you both. Something about your presence made him want to let go of the engineering department, cutting the lights during the day to save energy, always having his glasses in case of an emergency. The casualness in which your fingers framed his face while the embers burned from one end to the other made him wanna be something dirty, improper, and starved.

Someone appeared behind them, probably waiting a while, and mashed their horn impatiently. Ray remembered that he was behind the wheel, green light reflecting into the car when he hastily pulsed the gas. His father would be incredibly disappointed with his son- nearly sullying his record (for $2), letting a stranger dig their heels into his leatherwork, smoking. Pretty much half his extended family smoked, they just managed to hide it from each other. The shame was still there. Blowing nicotine inches away from the face of another man when you had a duty to everyone else on the road. Dirty, improper, starved.

The car rumbled along. Ray wouldn’t call himself innocent or inexperienced. 6-foot-something and pretty solid, he drank, cursed, had to shave every so often, got into plenty of trouble. It just didn’t seem like your kind of trouble. But was that always a bad thing? 

You had your nose pressed to the glass of the window, suddenly taken by something outside. “Pull over real quick! You’ve gotta try this one place.”

He did as you said, parking in the white glow of a Chinese spot, following you in after you took a final drag, crushing the tobacco under your heel. “I’m telling you- instant hangover cure.” you held the door open, jacket now back over your shoulders.

“You’re hungover?” Ray questioned, eyes adjusting to the bright ambiance. It was a smaller place, not unlike any other takeout spot in the city, void of customers at the late hour.

 “Not yet,” you smirked over your shoulder. Ray watched timidly as your hand slid a few wrapped, green candies to a girl sitting behind the counter. “Shouldn’t you be in bed?”

The girl, who probably should be in bed, fought you quietly in Cantonese, and you simply apologized. “Alright, I’m sorry. Two of the usual. Oh, and two beers. Please.”

Ray took the liberty of grabbing two frosty bottles from the freezer, not missing how the girl disappeared up the steps into her house, rather than the restaurant’s kitchen. “How much?” he asked over your shoulder.

You shook your head fervently. “Doesn’t cost anything.”

“You’re stealing?” he whispered harshly.

“No!” you whispered just as intensely. “They never make me pay.”

“Oh,” Ray dropped his defenses, following you to a round table in the middle of the square floor, “how come?”

You leaned back in your seat, wooden legs an inch or two off the ground. “Some guys tried to rob the owner. I stopped ‘em, watched the store a few nights, and now she lets me eat for free.” Ray’s eyes just short of popped out his head when you lifted the hem of your shirt over a bit of your abdomen. “It’s how I got this.”

There was a dark, running scar close to your ribs. “How- why- are you okay?” He fretted, astounded at your laissez faire attitude.

“It’s fine, it’s old. I knew he had a shiv.” you slung your arm over the back of the chair, having opened your beer.

“You knew, and you still spat with them?” He could imagine you in a narrow bathroom, attempting to stitch yourself up. “That’s…brave,” he couldn’t lie.

You leaned forward, opening his drink for him. “Just community. She made sure everyone was fed at night, anyway.” 

“That’s your movement,” Ray ran a finger up and down the damp glass, “isn’t it?” Getting shanked in the dark to keep a small business safe was definitely the unseen side of the subculture you subscribed to. 

He watched as your eyes lit up with the same passion you had on that stage. “Yeah! Community, safety, liberation- can’t survive if we’re all taking from each other. It’s why I make music.” Ray smiled at your selflessness. Handsome and heroic, in a roguish way. He was wrong. He still wanted you, bad. 

“You’d be a hot drummer.” That certainly caught him off guard, almost sending alcohol flying out his nose. 

Ray put a hand to a dry nostril, just in case. “What?”

“I mean it,” you bent at the waist over the table. “Little hairspray,” you mussed his growing hair, “little eye-gunk, tighten the shirt, shoulder tat- you’d be perfect.”

“You’re just saying that,” Ray sat obediently as you tried to dry-style him. He’d let you do that all night, if you felt like it.

An older woman, probably the owner, came down the steps, carrying two bowls in pink pajamas. You sat back, leaving his hair a mess when you rubbed your hands together in excitement. “Thank you, Mrs. Tsang.” you passed him a set of chopsticks. “You’re not ready for this.”

“Where to next?” You asked Ray, stepping out onto the sidewalk.

“Wherever you want,” he tried his best to etch your image into his long-term memory before you both ran into some guys.

Tall, big, guys, managing to tower over you both, each in more leather than you had in your closet. You didn’t look as scared as Ray felt, his knees threatening to buckle, as you just held onto a plastic bag holding the remains of your dinner. “Were we in your way?”

“The old lady around?” the biggest one grunted, getting awfully close.

You stood, unfazed. “Yeah, and I am too.”

He jabbed his finger into your chest, barely far from nose to nose. “You wanna get cut again?”

“Barely felt it last time.”

The drop of sweat on Ray’s forehead hardly had a moment to roll down before a fist flew to the middle of your face, a grotesque sound ricocheting off the walls of the empty street. The gang of strangers, once they saw you were sufficiently hurt, bolted into the night, Mrs. Tsang appearing in the window of her establishment.

“Are you okay?” Ray panicked, helping you steady yourself inside, collecting your gushing blood in your cupped hands, ignoring your complaints about how he made you drop your noodles. His heartbeat raced as a few drips got onto his shirt, feeling even more disoriented when the owner said a few things in another language.

“Bathroom,” you pointed a red finger down a hallway near the steps. Ray got the door open, and you woozily sat on the sink, body weight leaning away from the mirror at your back. “Aid kit in the cabinet.”

You were right, and it was sitting next to a half full bottle of liquor. He slowly pried your hands from your nose, bracing himself. “Let me see,” he coaxed you, cringing at the air you hissed out through your teeth.

It wasn’t all bad, Ray could tell that underneath all the blood was just a little discoloration and a deep gash. “At least it’s not broken,” he said shakily, ducking behind you to let some cold water run over a towel he found in the little white box.

“Another point for me,” you managed to get out through pained groans, blood trickling into your mouth. 

Ray tried to remember his boy scout training, bringing himself to wipe away some of the drying nastiness from your face. “This happens often?”

He scarcely touched you when you recoiled in pain. “Why d’you think they kept this stuff in here?” you attempted a weak smile.

This wasn’t gonna get done without some outside help. He grabbed the bottle by the neck, passing it to you, hands on his hips as you pretty much emptied the entire thing. Ray resumed, and the gentleness of the cool cloth, combined with the alcohol, seemed to relax you. “You’re pretty dauntless.” he stood in between your legs.

You hummed lazily- apparently a pretty crazy lightweight, at least when you were losing liters. “Someone has to be.”

When all the reddish brown was gone, Ray inspected that wound. It was fairly deep for a punch, still red and open to the air. Stitches, this needed stitches. “You’re gonna hate me for this,” he frowned, plucking a suture from the sterile container.

“I’d never,” you half-slurred, though you swallow at the sight of the barb.

Ray was halfway done, stuffing his fear and channeling a camp counselor as he brought the thread in and out the skin of your nasal dorsum. He didn’t know where he was expecting this impromptu outing to go, but definitely not here. But he didn’t really mind, either- he’d stitch you up a thousand times over if it meant he could hold your face. He couldn’t be bothered with what that said about him when he had your skin under his fingers.

“Taking care of me,” you muttered, not even flinching when the needle dove out to be tied in a knot.

“Someone has to,” Ray stepped back, pleased with his medical handiwork. His mother would be proud. “How’s that fee-”

“Be in my band.”

“What?”

You looked catatonic. “Go to Canada with me- California- wherever.”

Ray had a humorless chuckle, doing his best to wash his hands behind you. “You’re drunk,” he rationalized with himself, not looking into your eyes when he put a child’s bandage over the now closed wound.

You tried to turn to him completely with your butt perched on the edge of the sink, but you lost your balance and had to be held upright by him. “I’ll teach you the drums- something. I just don’t wanna lose you. Forget about that stuffy school.”

Hands on your ribs, he so desperately wanted to agree. To do what your spirit had been begging him to do and run away. Dirty, improper, starved. You changed his perspective in a matter of mere hours- shouldn’t he have to?

“I have to stay here,” he forced out, “I have things here.” 

Your eyes were partly pained, partly glazed with your intoxication. Your green Lamb Chop adhesive stuck out like a bullseye somewhere below knitted brows. “Can we compromise?”

“I don’t understand how this is a compromise,” Ray sat mortified in the 24-hour tattoo clinic.

You laid on your stomach, pants hiked down just under your tailbone, where a tattoo gun was currently inking you with “R.S.”. “You didn’t wanna run away with me,” you laughed drunkenly, the humorous part of being inebriated manifesting itself.

He shrunk, a pang in his chest somewhere. The tattoo artist eyed Ray for a moment. “I’m sorry-”

“Don’t be sorry,” you let your eyes close. “I don’t wanna remember you sorry.”

“Are you sure you don’t want one?” you nabbed a marker from the front desk as you both left. 

“I’m sure,” Ray nodded, trying to figure out where to go. He should find your friends- drive morning and night until he found them, before he dropped everything and drove out the state with you in the backseat.

A few accented voices interrupted him, and he abruptly realized that he was grasping your hand. Your bandmates, hobbling over after their own adventures.

“This is where you went?” the British bassist started. “We’ve been looking all over for you.”

Ray heard you groan, and you wordlessly started pulling down the collar of his jacket, exposing the tag. “Can I?” you clumsily held up the stolen marker.

He let you, and you meticulously scrawled your initials into the white slip of fabric. A reminder, for as long as he kept it- almost like a tattoo for those who weren’t ready to be dirty, improper, starved. And he was never getting rid of this thing.

You finished, adjusting it for him and just taking a moment to hook your fingers in his pockets. Ray was gonna miss you, so hard. He felt like a teenager again, except this time he didn’t feel like he wasted your time, in an uncomfortable suit, spending date money his parents trusted him with. Maybe he could learn to live like you did, if you’d wait long enough.

“Could you and your boyfriend hurry?” your friend complained. You sighed, booze still in your system.

“You won’t forget me?”

“Never.”

You reluctantly peeled away from him and down the street with your friends. Ray watched your retreating figure as you walked off into the darkness, until you turned fast on your heels, sprinting over and jumping into his arms. The kiss was messy, and rushed, probably splitting your stitches and aggravating your sinuses. Laced with the fact that you’d be scattered around the country for an unknown amount of time. But it was the realest one Ray’s ever had.

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

I finally did it yall I made a list of my favorite Cartmanisms bc I do in fact very much enjoy writing his out of pocket ass

“Oh speaking of,” Cartman added, “let’s just sacrifice the Insulin Bitch and the brain damaged hippie to the zaliens so the rest of us can make a run for it.”

Eric was scowling. “Only I’M allowed to make comments about you two gayasses. I say we wipe the floor with those homophobes.”

“I doubt they’ll have a vest in your size, Thumbulimia.”

“Please, I have better things to do than watch the Jew have a Post Traumatic Spider Disorder episode.”

Cartman rolled his eyes, but got up to drop a five in the Fuckwad Jar. “I hate you guys, seriously. Marj, you weren’t even in the room for the Nancy joke.” The lace trim of his robe fluttered as he sat back down, which made Stan laugh again. “What’s so funny, hippie?” There weren’t really words, honestly, but he’d try. “I just… I never want us to change, you know?” “Gay.”

Eric sung a few lines of ‘Jesus Loves The Little Children’ in a creepy horror movie voice and then sprung out from his hiding spot and started blasting on an unsuspecting youth who got too close, chasing him down the field with rarely shown athleticism.

Cartman looked incredibly bored as he clicked the magazine and snapped it back into place. “Well fuck me for being prepared.”

Cartman scoffed. “He’s not doing anything but staring up at you like he’s Sleeping Goddamn Beauty and you just kissed him out of a coma.”

“Awww, looook, you guys! They’re having a gay little hurt/comfort moment again! What, you gonna kiss it better, Kahl?”

Cartman just rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “What the hell ever, Jimothy. Go stutter about it to someone else.”

“Okay, fucking first of all,” Kyle shot a glare at Cartman, “no one’s getting sacrificed. Literally, that’s not goddamn happening. AND we’re keeping this discussion CIVIL. It’s five in the morning and nobody’s slept very much. There’s not a single guy here who’s actually thinking straight.” “That would be because half of you are gay as balls.”

“Once again, I’m moving that we leave the hippie behind.” “Cartman, remind me to kick your ass when we’re out of here.” “Good luck on that if you fucking faint like one of those stupid goats again.”

Cartman was out of bullets, but he’d taken out a good chunk of the extraterrestrial undead. “Holy shit, Kahl, you better not die on us. Cockroach, remember? You’re a damn cockroach.”

“Aight, so anyway, what’s JewBot up to?” “Still at work. He’ll be home later. We’re gonna go out to dinner with the Tuckers.” “I didn’t ask for your life’s story, buttplug,”

“Oh JESUS CHRIST!!” Oh, great. Cartman had emerged from his cave. “Did I just walk into a stairwell orgy?”

“Fuck you, Kahl. Your recycled dildo and his weirdo wingman pulled me out of a Klance slowburn.” “WHO the FUCK is reading Voltron fanfiction in 2023?!” “Some of us are dedicated.”

Eric paused his self imposed quest to rob every taco truck in GTA and set aside his controller. “Hellllll no. The vampires don’t get my blood without paying me for it.”

“Geez, pack it up, Fiddler On The Roof.”

“Fatass, if he dies in a car accident because YOU made him freak, I WILL kill you.” “Good luck doing that with one leg and a fever, fleshlight.” But his voice softened. “Just try to chill out until he gets home, Kahl. Then you can be a terrible patient for someone who actually likes you.”

“Yeah, hippie. I wasn’t going to deal with you if something happened to your burning bush.”

A certain abrasive fuckwad leaned casually against the wall. “Oh, the Bubonic Jew didn’t tell you yet? I said he fell on the stairs, didn’t I? He just hurt his knee again, what else is new.” Stan made a noise of surprise and Cartman pointed his beef jerky at him. “By the way, I really don’t get why you get so stoked about lugging him around. He’s difficult.”

Cartman scurried off to inspect a leaf. “Woah, you guys! I think I just, like, discovered empathy!” “You’re looking at a plant.” “Plants have feelings too, Khal! Look at your photosynthesizing dildo back there!”

“Like he needs an excuse to get on his high horse about shit.” “I’ll kick your fat ass,” Kyle warned. “Good luck, tinkerbell.”

Cartman had planted himself into the passenger seat, munching away at that bag of funyuns. He glanced back. “What’s the ‘sitch, Ken-Possible?”

“Because, you pussy,” Cartman said with a false saccharine smile, “you have the biggest TikTok following from your gayass little songs.

“Yep.” Cartman said through a mouthful of eggs. “Plus, Clyde has an affair going with the town vet, Butters is a total twink, and Stanny boy has a boner for the Jew.”

Oh dear god. Cartman was NOT about to babysit the argumentative dickhole while the housekeeper worked. As much fun as he was to fight with, Kyle was a fierce opponent, and Cartman wasn’t really in the mood. He’d had a weird night. The cats had been on edge.

Oh, of goddamn course. The OTHER buttplug. It wasn’t a secret. Well, technically it was, because no one talked about it, but anyone with eyeballs could see that Stan and Kyle had a gayass little private relationship going on behind Craig’s back. Good for them, or whatever, but if the Spider ever got proof…

Cartman just rolled his eyes. “Scott, you glucose gobbling ass bitch, I’ve literally butchered two people. I know the human body, okay?”

“The fuck.” Cartman’s eyes widened. “Every single one of you dildos had better be praying that there’s no internal bleeding.”

Cartman put his hands up. “Gahdamn, you guys. Just trying to lighten the mood in this hot air balloon to Hell.”

“Ay! Hippie! The Jew had to stay for basketball so I’m here with your buttfucking homework-“

Cartman definitely wanted to rip on him for wallowing in his own sadness, but the sooner he got this loser to be a person again, the better. “No shit, asshole. Your fucking fleshlight is even more intolerable without you to hold him back. You need to come back to school.”

“Also, I’m telling your little prince of Egypt that he can come over. It’s not like he’s gonna catch your Sad Bitch Disease.”

Cartman strolled around the corner, now wearing his frilly ‘widow whose husband died under mysterious circumstances’ robe.

[cosmo-watches-movies]

Wilde (1997)

Triggerwarning: Homophobia, Sex (in the movie, not depicted in this blogpost)

Plot: A part of Oscar Wilde’s life story.

Spoilers beyond this

Michael plays Robbie Ross, a good friend to Oscar Wilde and, delicately put, his first male lover.

Following are my incoherent thoughts as I was watching the movie: (some gifs for context, for the other parts watch the movie and you'll get it)

starting out chill with Oscar meeting his future wife

oh who might this dashing young fella be?

lol that didn’t work did it?

Nevermind it did work

I was so not prepared for this

This guy has a lot of thoughts in his head and none of them are holy

Bitch what

If someone looked at me like that I’d instantly fall for them too. Man brought his A-Game

Oh my god this is going too fast even for me and I’m just watching

Why would you give him lines like that?

(I refuse to clip the next part, I don't know who might read this)

What in the what I barely got into the movie, why would you do this to me

I have questions

I have so many emotions at once right now I actually feel a bit sick

I’m 16 Minutes in and my heart is breaking at the thought of where this might be going

Okay, I got used to the fact that I am actually watching a movie about gay men

Me watching a movie about a gay author: （☆ω☆ ）

Me when theres actual portayal of intimacy between men: （○ □ ○ ）

I swear I’m so normal about this.

Wtf Oscar why would you drop Robbie like that. I get that this was an affair, but like this? He picked that other guy up like an apple from a tree.

Watch Robbie take this like the king he is

Oscar met yet another guy (Bosie) and seems to fall in love with him and guy #2 litterally wants to khs and/or Bosie, while Robbie has only respect, acceptance and love to give.

lol taste of your own medicie, huh?

I hate Bosie

I love Robbie

Drama between Bosie and Wilde, which results in Oscar being sentenced to two years in prison

Oof that speech Oscar held in court tho, right in the feels

Robbie is an absolute treasure of a person. Get yourself a man like him. Don’t settle for less.

Wtf all this stress and heartbreak for Oscar and Bosie to break up after three months, the world is a cruel place

- End of incoherent thoughts-

That was heartbreaking in so many ways. The main story obviously is unbelievably tragic but we shall focus on other things. There are a lot of strong performances in this movie, the whole cast was quite good. You can strongly feel the love Robbie has for Oscar, he has this soft tone when he talks to or about him, he wants him to be happy even if it means that he himself wont be. He accepts that Oscar doesn’t love him the same way and still supports his friend under any circumstances. It's not just in the dialouge, it's also in the way Robbie talks to and looks at Oscar. He’s pure kindness, love and devotion.

He cares so much for him it's breaking my poor little heart :c

On a less serious note, my guy really went ahead and had his first on-screen kiss be a gay kiss!?! Fuckin hell! And he did so well! Icon, king, legend, right from the start!

Because there aren't enough gifs in this already, have some more little moments I enjoyed :3

✨Puppy dog eyes✨

Good save xD

Why would you hold it like that?

I don't even know why, just thought he looked dashing in this scene

Me too, Robbie, me too.

I probably could've written more, but that wouldn't do the movie and characters justice. Bosie's full brattiness alone is something I couldn't even capture in gifs. Kudos to Jude Law, he really made me hate that character. He's the exact opposite of Robbie. They had only two scenes together I think, but it's awesome to see their personalities clash.

I’d say you should check this movie out, especially if you’re lgbt+ yourself obviously. And then go ahead and read Oscar Wildes works, they're queer history and in general important literature anyone should know.

At the end of this I have learned that I, in fact, don’t hate love drama, I just like it if it's gay. And preferably has a certain actor in it.

[cybertron-after-dark]

Questionable Beast Wars Headcanons

-Optimus Primal isn't usually that into Earth culture, but sometimes Dinobot shows him bits of old human media he ends up really liking. Mostly old Earth songs from just before the war: the Beach Boys, the Beatles, and, coincidentally, the Monkees. He just really appreciates the chill, fun vibe.

-Rattrap and Rhinox like making silly little romhacks for old videogames. Mortal Kombat and DOOM are their favorites because the old basic sprites make alterations really easy, but no game is immune to Rattrap replacing the final boss with mildly insulting scans of Megatron.

-Cheetor is gay, but he hasn't figured it out yet. His crush on Blackarachnia was 100% comphet.

-Dinobot takes Cheetor out hunting every week. They're both carnivores, and their beast mode programming makes them kind of antsy if they don't chase something down, and it keeps morale high for the whole team if everyone has extra rations. Dinobot uses it as an opportunity to teach Cheetor more advanced battle tactics. Cheetor just likes getting out of the base and doing awesome shit with the guy he thinks of as a cool older brother.

-Rhinox actually knew Optimus way before they both joined up for the exploration crew. They dated for like a month, decided they were better as friends, and stayed amicable afterwards.

-Rattrap had a job as a bartender twice back on Cybertron before he got fired for drinking on the job from the first time, and getting into a fight with one of the patrons the second time. He still knows how to make most of the cocktails, including some he made up himself that are practically stronger than paint thinner.

-Megatron met Dinobot through a theatre troupe they'd both recently joined. They did two shows together: Hamlet, and Macbeth. Through the whole production of both, Megatron had been slowly converting Dinobot into more and more of a radical, convincing him that direct, brutal action was the only option to restore the Predacons to glory, and that the best action would be to join his crew and steal the Golden Disc. As the final showing of Macbeth ended, and the curtain fell, Dinobot finally agreed to go with him.

-Skorponok was not in the theatre troupe, he was one of Megatron's coworkers at their day job, working at an energon refinery, but he bought tickets to every show Megatron put on.

-Waspinator was the only Predacon on the Darksyde that had been to Earth before the incident with the transwarp engine. He lived there for about a year in a small backwater Predacon town to get away from the big city on Cybertron. He subsequently decided he hated it because redneck Predacons tend to shoot first and ask questions later. He returned to Cybertron with the hopes that he'd get shot less, (those hopes were dashed), but his time on Earth was what let him realize where he really was after the Vok incident so quickly.

-Tarantulas writes fanfiction about his coworkers and all of it is really, really dark and equally gross. Things that would get him sent straight to HR and subsequently fired if the Preds HAD an HR department. The one time Dinobot found it purely on accident, he was caught trying to bleach his optics right after.

-Terrorsaur only joined up with Megatron because he thought it was a harem at first. He kinda thought he'd be drowning in bitches when they got off world, but he remains completely bitchless.

-Skorponok and Terrorsaur didn't actually die in the lava pit, they crawled out as transmetals about 20 minutes after everyone had left, and, thinking everyone else had perished, kinda just started running and never looked back. Eventually after the war, they found Waspinator being worshipped by his army of fucked up protohumans and settled down together. They never left because beast machines didn't happen :)

[phanfictioncatalogue]

(Lost)In The Woods Masterlist

A Blue Starfall - wavydanrises

Summary: Phil is a botanist who enjoys going on hikes through the woods, when someday he walks into someone quite… particular. He didn’t believe in coincidences, so maybe it really was fate that guided his steps.

A million little suns (ao3) - jestbee

Summary: Dan is just trying to get as far away from his home town as possible at Christmas when he gets stuck in a snow storm. He’s rescued by an enigmatic stranger who take him back to his cabin in the mountains. What Dan doesn’t know is that his rescuer is prolific, best-selling writer of erotica, Ricky Blitz. Will Dan end up with a porn-worthy situation all of his own? (hint: yes)

Porn with feels and some Christmas magic.

An Unusual Pack (ao3) - Do_it_with_the_Howell_Lesters

Summary: In a world where supernatural creatures exist, outcasts Dan and Phil find themselves forming an unlikely pack of two to survive in their world.

Cabin in the Woods (ao3) - dip_and_pip_trash

Summary: Two bros, chilling in a cabin. What could possibly go wrong?

caught between the tides (ao3) - waveydnp

Summary: dan is alone in a post apocalyptic world, following the coast of the sea and heading north, avoiding what’s left of humanity at all costs. until, desperate and losing hope, he stumbles across a cabin in the woods that isn’t quite as uninhabited as it first appears.

Everybody Has Secrets (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: (tw) Phil Lester is a nerdy guy that no one really pays attention to. Dan Howell is an intimidating badass who becomes more of an enigma as you get to know him, although people rarely do. They might not have much in common, but it soon becomes apparent that everyone has secrets.

Exile (ao3) - kae_karo

Summary: Exile’s a fucking bitch. Dan finds himself kicked out of town and searching for literally anywhere out of the rain - somehow, he must have just enough luck, as he stumbles upon a seemingly abandoned house in the middle of the forest. Except it isn’t abandoned, and the resident isn’t exactly…normal…

Let's Go From Here (ao3) - afunnyworld

Summary: Dan gets lost while playing Pokemon GO. He meets Phil while trying to find his way back.

Red and the wolf (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Phil was used to walking through the forest after having visited his grandmother’s cottage. He never felt particular unsafe... until his possible-physic nana - at least if you asked her - was warning him that someone would take his heart and he might not make the trip alive. Phil wasn’t sure if her words caused the paranoia or if someone dangerous were truly lurking in the bushes.

Sacrilegious (ao3) - TheUKAmazingDan

Summary: Dan Howell was a good kid. A Catholic, growing up in Mass and youth group. But, after meeting Phil Lester, his life drastically changed, turning the quiet and meek boy into a wild child.

The Clearing (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan and Phil decide to head out to the woods for a short vacation. Phil makes sure this weekend is unforgettable.

The Stranger In The Woods - doomedhowell

Summary: Dan is on his way to his friends house when a storm hits and he gets lost in the middle of the woods where there’s clearly no one around and no way for him to get help. At least, that’s what he thinks until he sees a cabin with lights on inside. Dan had been in a hurry before but after meeting the stranger who lives in the cabin, he might like to stay a bit longer.

The Trampoline - jilliancares

Summary: Dan’s very gay and very in love with Phil, who has always been 100% straight. Also, there’s a trampoline.

Under the trees and shooting starts - wavydanrises

Summary: Dan’s parents have insisted that he comes with them on a family holiday at a hiking camp in the middle of the woods, and he isn’t too happy about that for various reasons. Until he meets the son of the owners, who works there.

WE’RE ALL DOOMED! (ao3) - idkspookystuff

Summary: it’s 2022, the sun is about to explode, and dan and phil go to the woods to reflect on the end

What are we doing? (ao3) - i_rat

Summary: Two silly gays in the forest.

[beemers-hell]

what's shindas, ikutes and fumeis' relationship dynamic like? i love the polyam rep I wanna know more Abt em!!

RUBS MY HANDS EVILY

lol get ready for an essay and a half

Ok so the first thing you gotta know about the mob poly is that they have been best friends since they were in kindergarten. They have been ride or dies for each other since they were literally in elementary school. They have been through every high and low of each others lives together, so already they have a really tight bong just through that.

Fumei was the first to make any moves, which was with Shinda, they're high school sweethearts that were just meant to be. Both Fumei and Shinda would confide in Ikute about their feelings for each other, and when they did start dating they'd still chat with Ikute about their feelings and how much they loved the other and how how hot the other one is and date plans and all that junk. And Ikute was chill with it cause those were his besties, however he did start to get a little tortured by Those Feelings after a while cause he realized he liked Fumei, but didn't act on it cause Duh he's already dating Shinda. But Shinda is really fucking good at reading people so she eventually kinda pushed him until he told her what was up, and she didn't even have a problem with it she was like "bitch shoot your shot anyway were already super close to each other i trust you to not take him from me" and like, it didn't happen immediately cause Ikute is just reserved like that. But eventually thr two had a particularly Gay ass moment with each other and he folded and spilled about his feelings for Fumei, and Fumei's an absolute sweetheart with too much love for his poor little heart anyway so he was like "I like you alot too the way I like Shinda alot I can make this work cause I want it alot" so then the poly was formed like, near the end of high school.

And now they're in their 30s and still together so obviously they got their shit figured out!

Firstly, Fumei, since he's the connecting point: Like I said, he's a massive sweetheart! When he loves someone he LOVES them; it can be a little overbearing sometimes but he knows Shinda and Ikute's boundaries and limits with everything like he knows the back of his hand so he rarely ever has problems with overdoing it with them specifically. He's very much a heart on the sleeve kind of dude and does everything in his power to make sure his partners know how much he loves and cares for them. He's out voluntarily getting up before everyone else to make full course meals for breakfast, he's hiding little sticky notes with disgustingly cutesy love letters written on them in their belongings, he's taking care of their aches and pains when they complain, he's very much a very selfless guy that gives his all to his partners. He does have to Show His Love differently between them because they aren't the same person of course, but the point is he gives his all.

Hes also being kinda fruity with one of the Mob Poly's friends, Lucius, a side character guy I haven't mentioned like, Ever Lol, but they're more of a fwb kinda deal rn. Shinda and Ikute are cool with it cause they think he's tight anyway lol

Shinda's more relaxed about it, she shows her love more through small gestures, she's not as showy about it as Fumei is. Like she will make sure you know you're loved by her, but she's content with just chilling and not worrying about it 24/7. She' s a really good counter balance to Fumei, cause she loves the fact that he dotes on her (and Ikute, obvs) all the time and treats her like royalty, and he loves the fact that she's so casual and chill about it. They're like, almost opposites, but yanno the saying!

Ikute, like I said, is very reserved, so he rarely engages in outwardly obvious acts of love and all that gay shit, but Fumei (and Shinda, by extension) knows damn well how much that dude loves him. Cause Ikute doesn't open up about his feelings and struggles as easily as he does with them, or talk for hours on end about whatever subject he's fixated on with anyone thr way he does them, or accept any physical touch as normal the same way he does them. Ikute doesn't regularly do very big showy grandiose acts of love like Fumei, nor does he engage in smaller acts like Shinda does...it's kind of random whether or not he'll surprise them with something big or do something smaller, its mainly dependent on his mood. The point is, Ikute doesn't act the same way with the whole rest of the world the way he acts with Fumei (and Shinda), there's like a flip thats switched when he knows he's alone with them and feels far more comfortable. That's how they know!

And, the important thing to note is, Shinda and Ikute don't love each other the same way they love Fumei. Cause like, yanno, Ikute is a gay man, and Shinda obvs respects that, he's not attracted to her like he is Fumei. However, they still are so very close to each other, and trust each other like no other, hell they are physically affectionate with one another, its just different from how they trust and love Fumei. I guess it's kinda complicated to explain? Not in like a negative way, they just have a more complex relationship than friendship, but isn't romance either? They're like "You feel like an extension of me you understand me like nobody else does I would do everything in thr world for you" but not in like a soulmates-who-complete-each-other kinda way. They're not just the type of romance web that's like "were dating the same guy and not each other but were cool" its a little deeper than that. I'd like to say they're on some 70s queer "fuck it we ball" kinda shit but I'm not sure how to explain it. I think a queer platonic relationship is how you'd describe them? Like I said its complicated lmao

Point is: These bitches can fit SOOO much gay shit into them

[kamii-2]

how i think the outsider boys would react to you coming out as lesbian

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

so like this is my first time writing headcannons so i’m very sorry if they suck 😭 please enjoy this post and have a good day :))

i’m sorry that some of them are short then others 😞 idk what to put for them

warnings: mentions of homophobia, cussing, and slurs

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ponyboy curtis

he would most definitely support you

he would probably ask what it meant

after you told him he would say something along the lines of “OHHH, we’ll just know i support you” and give you a big hug

he would (attempt to) stick up for you if someone was homophobic to you

he would try to put you on with EVERY girl you say is pretty

he would help you tell the rest of the gang about you being lesbian

during pride month he would definitely give you some kind of rainbow or lesbian flag colored gift 😭

he would probably cry when you tell him bc you trust him enough to tell him first

he will definitely almost out you a couple times

like i can imagine him trying to make some random man leave you alone and he says something like “she doesn’t even like bo- ..you.”

johnny cade

johnny wouldn’t know what to say at first 😭

like he would just stare at you then say “..what?”

you’d probably have to explain to him what it means

he would thinks it’s a disease or something

he start to freak out a little 😭 “what does that mean? is it a sickness? is it contagious?”

he would most definitely support you

yk bc he’s gay and all (just like ponyboy)

he would ask you who ur crush is then ask pony to help out you guys on

he would probably accidentally out you to the whole group

like i can imagine him saying something along the line of “so how’s everything going with you and your girlfriend?” then everyone stares at you 😭

tbh i can’t really picture hum doing/saying anything else to you besides checking up on you and your crush/girlfriend

he seems like he wouldn’t care if you were lesbian or straight or anything else

dally winston

he would laugh at you at first bc he tougher you were joking

once he sees you not smiling he said “oh- you’re for real?”

he would be slightly homophobic 😭

he’s the type of guy to accidentally out you to the whole town

he would beat up anybody who made fun of you

he would says slurs but not in a mean way (ifykwim)

bro would jokingly bully you for being gay

like he would say stuff like “that’s why you’re gay” and you would say “don’t you like girls too?”

dally would see something rainbow and immediately say something to/about you

*sees rainbow cup at store* “look its your twin” and he would start laughing extremely loud after 😭

just like pony, he would try and put you on with EVERY SINGLE GIRL you call fine or look at

sodapop curtis

he would give you a big fat hug when you come out to him

he would start to cry a little 😭

he would protect you from homophobes

i could see him yelling at someone or beating them up bc they were homophobic to you

he would be so nice to you and help you with any type of relationship problems

he would be ur therapist

“soda i don’t even know what to do anymore man, i just want her so bad but-“ “shhhh it’s okay, why don’t you find a new crush?”

soda would somehow get you with your crush after only talking to her about you one time

“sooo…how do you feel about my friend y/n?” and then he would go on for like 30 minutes on why she should be with you and stuff like that

he would also get you gifts for pride month 😭

steve randle

he would be kinda frozen for a second

“steve…i like girls..” “……….me too”

he would be super duper chill about it

he would help you with any type of relationship advice or anything to do with relationships

he would teach you how to flirt

he would help you get ready for dates

he would definitely ask you to work at the DX with him and soda just to see hot girls all day (and to actually work, but mostly to look at girls all day long)

he would give you pep talks before dates/asking girls out

two-bit matthews

biggest hype man ever

would yell in happiness at you telling him

you both go to the nightly double and rate random girls

“what about that broad over there” “7/10”

you both have completely different taste in women

“that lady that just walked by was fine as hell” “two-bit matthews, that lady was ugly”

he would be so interested in all of your love life drama (all of the guys are)

he would give the worst advice ever

like don’t trust any advice he gives you bc you might get beat up 😭

he would say slurs aswell but once you tell him what they mean, he would stop

“stop it fag” “two… that’s a slur” “IM SO SORRY, I DIDNT KNOW” then he would give you a big hug 😭

he would attempt to be ur relationship therapist but would fail horribly

darry curtis

he would not care at all

“darry.. i’m gay” “…okay?”

he would protect you from homophobes (they all would)

he would let you rant to him about your love life

idk what to put for him 😭

i’m so very sorry this one is so short

—————————————

i hope you guys enjoyed this post :)) i hope you all have a good day!! bye love you all 💋💋

[dykevanny]

haz i know absolutely nothign about zeno rpg but ur zeno au has intrigued me and im curious about it,,, i saw smth abt like. meomory loss and being handcuffed together and ik they eat ppl but thats it 😭 explain the au if u want ig bc im interested and i think thye look so silly. also bc u put vanny n will in my brain and they wont leave im shooing them with a boom and they are not moving

OK LET ME GET THE INFODUMP<3

So ummm Zeno au<3 I’m really normal. Allow me to give a brief explanation of what Zeno is first You see, Zeno is a fictional disease sort of thing that makes people cannibals. Specifically an oneset is caused by traumatic events/extreme cases of unrequited love(specifically mostly familial) and the only cure is eating the flesh of someone else with Zeno.(not widely known.) It’s also transmittable through biting like zombies. there’s one specific facility with scientists dedicated to getting to the bottom of how to cure zeno, also housing ‘patients’ (or, people with zeno being used as lab rats). Now onto character lore.

So william and henry were good friends right. Yeah. Considering that they even have a small diner together. Well one day will got zeno (oh no!) and started slowly picking off kids going to the diner. He even accidentally attacked Charlie, who escaped in one piece luckily. Charlie went to the afton household to see if he was doing okay (because will’s like an uncle to her and all! And also what if everyone else got hurt?) only to find will ate them all oops. And yeah same happened to her, but since he transmitted zeno to Charlie he was cured! How convenient! The people in charge of the labs ended up roping him and henry into being scientists for them through shady shady means and well the two aren’t on good terms and avoid each other like the plague. Henry’s still sore over the ‘you ate my fucking daughter’ thing. Luckily he has his assistant/the archivist (tape girl) to keep him company. So Vanessa right! Crazzy I know. Nessa as we know comes from a broken family. In this specific au I’m mixing her backstory with the character who’s place she’s taking (hi kuro) so basically her parents. Neglect her. In favor of her younger sibling because she was born from her mom’s affair and blablabla… she grows up basically taking care of herself. Eventually she develops zeno and starts you know. Killing and eating random girls as you do. When one night she comes home and is confronted by her parents about this!! And well you can guess. What happens to them lol. She gets captured and taken to the zeno facility where she’s specifically studied/talked to by William! They’re funny bc nessa hasn’t had anyone willingly spend so much time around her and be so nice to her. Will … well she’s a specimen to him lol. Since being cured himself zeno has been a subject of interest to him, he’s thrown himself completely into his work (under the guise of feeling soooo guilty for his actions which henry can see right through) and well. He’s realized the consumption of human flesh has something to do with it, since eating Charlie cured him. So he’s been …. Robbing the morgue/killing people when needed to feed vanessa every time they meet. Which, she’s more docile when she’s not hungry so it kind of works but she’s not like cured you know. It has the side affect of her being hungry when it’s time for someone to chat with her though which was funny the one time henry had to go in will’s stead cause he offered her a granola bar and she was like 😐 ew.?? Anyways will has gotten her total trust because he also plays board games with her yay!! He’s the only one not enforcing the whole straightjacket-dog muzzle combo also so she’s like woah !! He sees me as another human unlike these other guys :DD (needless to say zeno patients are not treated very humanely.lol) there was also one time tape girl had to be a substitute for william but nothing of note happened they just kinda chilled and ness threatened her in a backhanded and mildly gay sort of way.as you do.

Anyway yeah so basically Henry’s been experimenting with treatment through amnesia and totally surely unrelated note at the actual start of the story, Will and Nessa wake up in a strange room with no clue who they are or how they got here, and have to navigate the now bloody and corpse-strewn facility while handcuffed together with nothing to guide them except each other and the only clue to their pasts is tampered resumes which effectively switch their backstories!! Nessa is under the impression that she’s the scientist (the whole cannibalism part was left out) and she thinks William is the serial murderer/cannibal. Which was funny cause she read her own resume like wow… I’m kind of a big deal huh :) and then read Will’s like ERM.OKAY… Will didn’t read either of the resumes. Also tape girl gave everyone code names and said code names were swapped on the resumes also! So ‘bonnie’(nessa) and ‘vanny’(will) are just kind of cluelessly walking around like damn this place is really… corpsey:) until henry starts showing up and trying to kill them (he contracted zeno big surprise) and also tape girl (assumed dead) shows up sometimes just to see how things are going. Lots of shenanigans and also murder ensue.

The game also has multiple endings so. sometimes nessa ends up killing william lol. Intestine jumprope…. … ……… Also side note.will found out it’s specifically zeno infected humans that need to be fed to patients to cure them but kinda. Didn’t cure nessa on purpose<3 because she’s sort of entirely dependent on him in this way and she’s kind of his only friend.the same way he’s her only friend……wacky wild!

Tape girl is having a fucking.day. Because henry mentioned he was going to do something but likeee. She didn’t expect to be caught in the crossfires of a HUGE MASS MURDER CANNIBAL EVENT.AS LIKE ONE OF THE 4 PEOPLE STILL ALIVE IN HERE,.. once he chilled out henry explained himself and she agreed to help out (she also decided to distribute some of her recorded notes.just for fun…after the two get separated for the first time ‘vanny’ listens to them and is like woah… i was a patient here⁉️ And bon was my unethical doctor⁉️⁉️ which is funny) but like. She is the only one NOT infected in here and would like to keep it that way so she’s having quite the time. Seeing vanessa walking around unrestrained keeps jumpscaring her LOL. Once ness’s zeno symptoms start returning well ofc will as the only one she’d encountered here who she cares about is the first target but tape girl nearly gets chomped too lol.

Zeno has an interesting affect on the subjects mood which is funny. Basically when an oneset happens and the person with zeno is running around eating people they’re in a crazed manic state which. Is really fun.will and nessa are wandering around handcufffed and he’s like uhh bonnie you okay cause her facial expressions.well they went from the example on the left to the one on the right.

It’s funny bc. The memory erasure actually technically did work… her symptoms only started returning bc she got bit LOL

Pre-the amnesia incident the other three’s interactions with vanessa were pretty.limited. Considering she’s theeee most dangerous patient. Will talks to her for like an hour daily but Henry only really knows her as ‘william’s mutt’ (he was especially not a fan when he found out will had been FEEDING HER HUMAN FLESH.) and tape girl is afraid of her but also. Kind of endeared from their two in person interactions. The second one in which vanessa tried to convince her to let her cannibalize her but hey she was very polite about it..!! Henry and tape girl are both shocked and stunned that she’s actually pretty chill when she’s not insane and eating people.

TL;DR

^these fuckheads are almost all cannibals and beating each other up forever

[razorsadness]

The end of April/first half of May was a really bad time. First L., the octogenarian gay man who is a neighbor of mine, whom I help out sometimes and like to visit with, was in the hospital. One of our other neighbors (who also helps him out) notified me, so that I could grab his mail when they couldn’t do it. Fortunately, he’s since come home and he’s doing okay, but I was so worried.

During the time he was in the hospital, D. (my 12 y.o.) was having some health issues (side effects from his meds), so I was calling around to/taking him to various doctor’s appointments and pharmacies to try and get that figured out.

And if that wasn’t enough, at the very end of April my mom had a big health emergency and had to go to the emergency room. And after that she had to go in every other day for more tests and whatnot, so I had to help a lot with my parents’ dog, and cleaning, and etc. Which of course I don’t resent having to do, but it was a lot on top of everything else. Not to mention, there was a period of a week or so when we didn’t fully know what was going on and thought she might be imminently dying and I couldn’t stop crying and yes, I have a complex relationship with my mom that is not always the healthiest, but I do love her, and want her to stick around for a good long while.

Because of all of the above, I had to cancel a bunch of plans for things I had really wanted to do, and it bummed me the fuck out. Again, it’s not that I resent having a responsibility to the other people in my life, but I was just fucking sad. Not to mention that everything I canceled was the fun and interesting stuff, so all that was left in my life for a couple weeks was the shitty stuff. And all work and no play make Jack a dull boy, y’know?

No, I didn’t become a maniacal axe murderer, but I did cry all the time, and the littlest things set me off so my poor partner and kiddos got snapped at a lot. And I couldn't sleep because of everything on my mind, and of course the lack of sleep made me even more stressed and moody. And speaking of axe wounds...I got my period twice in May because of all the stress.

Despite giving up fun things and focusing on responsibilities for a couple of weeks, I still got behind on pretty much everything, art/work-wise. I managed to complete the 30/30, but I failed on the fundraising aspect (I didn't even get halfway to my fundraising goal, and some of what I did make is money I put in). And I didn't finish April's mini-zine for my zine subscribers until May, or May's until almost June, and now it is June and I'm just finally about to send out April and May's zines and the perks for the people who did contribute to the fundraiser. I'm trying not to beat myself up over it, though, because that would just make me stressed again, just when I'm finally chilling out a bit.

In mid-May, we took the kids on a day trip/field trip to Chicago, primarily to visit the Shedd Aquarium. It was a great day; filled, of course, with nostalgia. We took Amtrak, so of course I had all of the train feelings. Every train song I know (and I know a lot) got stuck in my head. When I saw the southbound train approaching the Sturtevant station, I started singing "Mystery Train." Train, train, comin' 'round, 'round the bend... On the train down, I saw two egrets in the wetlands of southeast Wisconsin/northeast Illinois. I also overheard a conversation between two women who were talking about their kids. One was talking about her 14 y.o. daughter and said: "I used to be a little worried she was a lesbian, because she was kind of a tomboy, and her best friend is a lesbian. But then she started wearing dresses and makeup so I know she can't be a lesbian!" And I was just thinking: oh, oh honey, do you not know that femmes exist? At Union Station, I saw a few older skinheads hanging out in the Great Hall, and as I got closer to them I realized—holy shit, I know a couple of them. Not like, super well, but they were guys that ran in some of the same circles I did circa oh, 1998-2004. One of them smiled at me and gave me a nod. I'm not sure if he recognized me, too, or if he could just tell I had similar subcultural roots. I thought I looked pretty normie that day, but I find that no matter what I'm wearing, fellow queers and people with similar subcultural backgrounds can usually recognize that I'm one of them. (By the same token, I've had bigots clock me as an LGBTQ or just a freak even when I think I look pretty normie.)

As always when I'm in that part of Chicago, I got my own poem ("Way Down Here on Canal Street") stuck in my head. Way down here on Canal Street / the bike messengers stare you down / and businessmen brush right past you / in their rush to get out of town...

The Shedd Aquarium was awesome; the kiddos loved it, and I loved it, too—I hadn't been there in about 27 years, so it was like a brand-new experience. There were so many queer babes working there, which was nice, of course. The weirdest thing that happened is that I saw an ex-something-or-other of mine; he was there with his wife, just as I was there with my husband and kiddos. He saw me, too; we both went wide-eyed like we'd seen a ghost, and it was sorta like that, considering we hadn't seen or spoken to one another in like twenty years. We both pointedly avoided saying hello to each other, though, and honestly, thank god. I call him an ex-something-or-other because we never actually dated; we had a very ill-advised fling and it kinda ruined both our lives for a bit.

It's funny, though not entirely surprising, that I ran into not one but three people from my past. Chicago is a massive fucking city, yet every time I am down there, I run into at least one person I (used to) know. And it makes more sense if it's in the context of a zine fest or a punk show, or even at an old haunt like Delilah's, but at the aquarium and the train station? (Insert Tom Waits in that one interview, saying: Everybody knows me...at the dump.)

After leaving the aquarium, we wandered around the Museum Campus/Grant Park/Northerly Island for a while, and I took a bunch of photos. I saw Navy Pier sticking out into the lake and got that same old poem of mine stuck in my head. Above the Ferris wheel on Navy Pier / the golden light is fadin'... We sat at an outdoor table, got harassed by red-winged blackbirds. I saw ghosts (legitimate ghosts, not just people from my past) darting around out of the corners of my eyes. I told my kids about the time I went swing dancing at the Field Museum after dark.

Then we headed to Printer's Row and had some really good Japanese food, before heading back to the train station to catch our train home. As our Uber driver neared the station, we went by a wall that had once had some graffiti on it. It had been painted over, but you could still see traces of the graffiti beneath the paint. The light hit just right for me to read what had been written there before they painted over it: Sweet Home Chicago. And yes, oh yes; I thought, once again, of that Lucy Sante quote about New York I think of every time I'm in Chicago: ...I was changed forever by it, my imagination is manacled to it, and I wear its mark the way you wear a scar. We had just enough time for the kids to have a snack and P. and I to have a beer in the station food court/bar before catching the Hiawatha north. On the train home, I watched the city fall away from me, water towers and loft apartments fading into the gloaming, and I felt happysad, the way I always do when I've been in Chicago and have to leave again.

Back at the train station in Sturtevant, C. and I spotted the first cricket of the year, and in the car on the way home, the DJ on my favorite radio station played Sufjan Stevens's "Casimir Pulaski Day," which, after a day in Chicago, really hit me straight in the gut.

Since then, life has been mostly about catching up on writing and art stuff, while also trying to take it easy on myself. After all the stress of late April and the first part of May, I decided that one of my goals for this spring-into-summer season is to get healthier, both mentally and physically. So I've been drinking less coffee and more tea; less booze and more sparkling water. I've also been cooking delicious, healthy meals, doing yoga regularly, and taking long walks, as well as reading a lot of books and watching the new season of Doctor Who + a bunch of filmed plays.

Two Saturdays ago (i.e., not just this past Saturday, but the one before), I had an adventure day with C. (6 y.o.). It was the nicest day we'd had in a while, after days of rain, so he really wanted to do some outdoor exploring. D. didn't want to go, and P.'s back was hurting, so we decided P. would stay home with D. and C. and I would go out. At first I was a little annoyed, thinking it would be a waste of my time to do that when I could be home doing writing work, but then I was like: "Damn, that's the must-be-productive-24/7 capitalism mindset talking. How could spending time with my kiddo and going out exploring in nature ever be a waste of time?!" So I packed a picnic lunch and off we went.

We went to two places where I have so many memories from the past, oh, 25 years—Petrifying Springs Park, and the beach near Carthage College. I like taking my family to places (like Chicago, like Petrifying Springs) where I've spent a lot of time; it's nice to create new memories that involve all of us, so I'm not just nostalgic for ye olde days when thinking of those places. (Not that I won't still be nostalgic for ye olde days; what I mean is creating new memories with beloved people in beloved places makes it so that I'm not just nostalgic for a long-ago time.)

We started at Pet Springs. We had our picnic lunch, and then hiked around a bit near the marsh and the Pike River. Then I let C. have some playground time, and I got my flirt on with a hot dad who was there with his kids. I was wearing my Tom Waits shirt and he said: "Great shirt. I love Tom Waits." An attractive guy with a lot of sailor-style tattoos, who obviously spends quality time with his kids, and likes Tom Waits? Gimme. So we chatted for a bit, and casually flirted. It wasn't heavy or serious flirting—on either of our parts—just that sort of casual flirting that's like "oh, this person is intriguing and attractive, and maybe in another life we might've had something."

It's weird to me that some people think that flirting is outside the bounds of a monogamous relationship. I mean, I guess I can understand if it crosses the line into serious flirting—i.e., flirting with the intent to pursue something more, or making a lot of sexual/romantic comments—but some people think even casual flirting counts. Whereas I think everyone should do more casual flirting—people in monogamous relationships, people in poly relationships, single people, even ace and aro people. Casual flirting is good for the soul, and it doesn't have to "mean" anything.

After we left Petrifying Springs, we drove to the beach. Because of the direction we were coming from, we drove part of the way on the spur road that connects the east-west county roads with Highway 32, and I thought of another one of my own poems—"Highway 32." Particularly the part that goes: here is the spur road back of / the river flanked by the / cemetery & the trailer park.

We spent a good hour exploring the beach: we discovered a party hut built from stones and driftwood, and walked the labyrinth, and got our feet wet in the cold cold lake, and picked up cool rocks.

The past week and a half has involved a lot of nostalgia (what else is new?). I've been sorting through stuff from Mays n' Junes (n’ other times) past (it's almost nostalgia-blogging time again), and it hit me, like really hit me, that it was twenty years ago that I first saw World/Inferno live. And it really did change my life. And then I thought about how May also marked 19 years since Kimball died (well, March was the anniversary of his death, but I didn't find out until May), and three years since Jack Terricloth died, and how I used to think of Kimball when listening to certain W/IFS songs like "Brother of the Mayor of Bridgewater" and "Thirteen Years Without Peter King," and how now I think of him but also of Jack when I hear those songs. I don't think I'll ever get over either of their deaths. That's the weird thing about grief. You can learn to live with it, you can grow around it, but you don't "get over" it, not in the traditional sense of the phrase.

I don't know. I feel kicked in the chest by the passage of time, always, like where does the time go? How are these things that I still remember so vividly things that happened ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five, thirty years ago? But on the other hand, I'm constantly mystified at how easy it is to be hurtled back in time to the site of a memory in a way that feels physical, like almost literal time travel. Like last week: I was listening to Billy Bragg for the first time in a while, and wearing this vanilla scent that smelled just like this incense I used to use as a teenager, and suddenly I was eighteen again, sitting in the spare room at the house on College Avenue, burning incense, listening to Billy's plaintive British voice, typing away on my old electric typewriter.

I've had some vivid and intense dreams in the past week. In one of them, I basically dreamed the entire plot of a novel. In the dream, I was reading the novel, but then I was also in the novel. The dream woke me up in the middle of the night and I jotted down notes about everything I remembered. And in the morning, when I reread them—they actually made sense, and I think there's the seeds of a good story there. It's speculative fiction/soft sci-fi, somewhat dystopian but also hopeful. So thanks, subconscious!

The other notable dream I've had of late was more of a "fuck you, subconscious" one. In that dream, I reconnected with Sullivan, and we got back together—and ended up making it work, this time around. It was a beautiful dream, don't get me wrong, but it hurt to wake up from, and know it was only a dream, and an impossible one, at that. It's not that I'd rather be with him than with P., or that I'd rather have that life than the one I currently have. It's just—it's just the unfairness of life, that we can't be with all the people we've ever loved, or live in all the places we've loved, or even pursue all the interests and careers we might have had. So what I felt waking up from that dream was not regret, but saudade—a longing for the way things might have been.

Also last week I trimmed a good inch off my hair (most of which was split ends) and trimmed my bangs shorter again, and it's a miracle how much better even a little trim can make me feel about myself.

Now it's June. Magic month. I've already seen the first fireflies of the summer. They're early, this year, and I'm happy. The rabbits that live in our backyard, that C. initially christened Paul Westerberg and Tommy Stinson, had five babies. C. has since renamed them, but I still think of them as Paul and Tommy, so it's extra specially hilarious to me when I think: "Oh, Paul had babies, and Tommy's the dad!" Happy Pride, MPREG is real! Haha. Speaking of Pride and silliness—the other day, I was typing "Oscar Wilde" into a note on my phone, and autosuggest thought I might be meaning to type "Oscar Wildfire," and now, holy shit, if I ever get to do the drag king thing, I have my stage name.

It's also P.'s and my anniversary week—we've been married for fourteen years, together for fifteen. Today's our official wedding anniversary, and is also fifteen years to the day from the night I first told P. I was in love with him. I know I say this every year, but despite all the ups-and-downs of our relationship over the years, and my boundless longing, there's still no one I'd rather be doing this with than him.

My mom gave me a few peonies from her yard so I could put them on our table, because peonies were my wedding flower, and now my whole house smells of their heavy perfume.

And this weekend is shaping up to be pretty good. On Saturday night, I'm going to hang out with Beagan—we're going to the closing reception of the art show of another good friend of ours, and then we're going to have a drink and catch up back at her place. And on Sunday, P. and I get to have a date night. My parents are going to watch the kiddos and we're going to go have a beer at a new-ish local brewery we've been meaning to try, then come home and grill up some steaks and veggies.

[jingerhead]

See You Latte and A Hero’s Heart seem like my cup of tea (I say, as if I wouldn’t read anything you wrote) if you’re willing to share their WIPs?

Hi lovely! So sorry it took me a day to get to this, but I'd absolutely love to share! Play the WIP game with me!

See You Latte

It may sound exactly like what it is - a coffee shop au! This is actually one of the very first wips I had for aftg, and when I couldn't make it work the way I wanted it to I decided to temporarily scrap it. But I decided to return to it 'cause everyone needs their own little coffee shop au, right? Here's a little snibbit from it!

~*~

Letting out a sigh of irritation, Andrew’s eyes flicked upwards when the door opened again, nearly choking when he caught sight of who had just entered the small cafe, which was empty other than himself and two soccer moms sitting in the comfy armchairs by the window. The man who just entered was wearing the most horrendous thing he’d ever seen in his life: black sunglasses, gray hat, green sweater at least two sizes too large, white athletic shorts despite the fact there was snow outside and sneakers. He was so appalling to look at Andrew knew he’d ended up staring longer than was appropriate, especially when the man’s eyes caught his own while he waited for his own drink.

Quickly looking away and pretending he hadn’t just seen the fashion disaster of the century enter the quiet coffee shop, Andrew decided it didn’t matter what he was writing so long as he pretended he was busy. He quickly began to type out the worst dialogue he’d ever written in a panic, fingers hitting the keys harder than usual. But even as Andrew kept his eyes glued to his laptop, he couldn’t not notice the man walking towards him, stopping on the other side of the table.

“Hi,” the man greeted. 

Andrew glanced up, fingers halting on the keys. He hadn’t looked closely enough to see the guy’s face, but now that he was Andrew found that he couldn’t look away. The man’s blue eyes were chilling in the best way, a crystal ice blue that could’ve pierced through his soul. Auburn curls flared out messily under the hat he wore, and on both his cheeks were noticeable scars. On his left were cuts that had healed almost crudely, and under his right eye the skin was puckered in burn marks. But despite them, the man was beautiful. Infuriatingly beautiful.

It was at about this moment Andrew remembered how gay he really is.

“Can I sit here with you?” the man asked with a smile. “I need to charge my phone.”

Andrew didn’t want a table partner, but he wasn’t feeling inspired at the moment, so if the guy was annoying he could just leave. He ended up nodding and mumbling out a “Yes,” deciding to take a sip of his own drink while the man sat down, plugging in his phone. Andrew tried to go back to his writing, managing to continue his terrible dialogue, sure that he wasn’t going to get anything productive done today. Despite the fact that the redhead wasn’t talking, he was still very distracting while he made no noise or move to start a conversation at all.

Andrew glanced at him once in a while, but the redhead never met his eyes. After a half hour of silence, a bit of inspiration came to him, and he ended up on a roll, typing a bit aggressively. All of a sudden two hours had passed and the redhead left with a small wave. For some reason the place felt emptier.

A Hero's Heart

I am a huge Zelda fan so of course I'm going to write a LOZ au at some point. One of my friends also really pushed this idea at me and I finally caved, deciding to write it. While it's inspired by LOZ and the lore of it, it's actually an original story that just so happens to take place in the LOZ universe? Kind of like what I did for my PJO au.

Basically, this fic is based off of my misunderstanding of the LOZ story when I was like 9. One of my friends attempted to explain it to me but I don't think she knew ANYTHING about LOZ so she just made it up to hold my attention? But anyways, when I was really little I used to think that Link and Zelda were siblings, and that Link was on a mission to save his sister. I decided to take that idea and run with it for this fic, having Andrew as the long-lost twin brother to Prince Aaron that only just discovered his heritage and is now being asked to save Hyrule. He's left without much choice to go on this adventure, meeting Neil along the way. The plot is still a big work in progress, but I'm excited about it, especially with the way I plan to incorporate the LOZ lore. Thanks for asking, lovely!

[luffythinker]

IM CRYING, IM GLAD YOUR OPEN TO MY SHIKANARU CAUSE EVERYBODY I TRY AND TALK TO ABOUT THIS SHIP DOESNT CARE I actually am making a story i just got to get it all together. IMA SHARE IT WITH YOU WHEN I GOT IT TOGETHER it's really just me changing some events in the story and making it where Naruto and Shikamaru end up together. My plans are to have Naruto end up with Shikamaru, I love Sai/Sakura but Ino loves Sakura and i don't understand the Ino/Sai i'm still watching the anime it's just i never finished my run so i started reading the manga back to the part im at and im at ep 145 of shippuden i think? I'm not allowing myself to finish watching it until my story is caught up to where i am. Back to what i was saying I'm thinking of making it Ino/Sakura/Sai but it's more of "This is my girlfriend Sakura and her boyfriend Sai" my reasoning for this is when Ino witnessed Sasuke pull that guys arms out the socket as a kid it traumatized her, made her scared of him and Sai apparently looks like Sasuke, they were saying he looked like Sasuke a little bit in the anime if i remember correctly. it just creeps her out. I don't think Ino really ever liked Sasuke she just liked him cause that's what was cool when she was a kid so the whole rivalry with Sakura was just built on that idea. I was rewatching some scenes and i think, ok i gotta back track a little bit. I headcanon Ino's famliy is the most chill with same-sex stuff, so like if their daughter was gay they wouldn't mind. Ino puts this thinking in Sakura's head but Sakura's not as understanding as a kid and thinking it's weird cause different households (Not saying her parents were homophobic, it's just never been brought up to her before) Ino finally realizes she's in love with Sakura after she comes to her rescue when he hair gets cut that's the whole of what i wanted to say. So from that point on Ino likes Sakura, Sakura still has her feelings for Sasuke and Naruto's crush on Sakura has gone. I noticed he still asked her on dates but ultimately before and after Sasuke leaves it really hits Naruto that Sakura holds something special to Sasuke. Tsunade even notices it when she watches him leave the room to give them a moment after she heals him, Naruto walks out the room and says he wants her to look at Lee but his body language said "Oh im not needed here" and his feelings looked a little hurt. Another thing Neji developing a crush on Shikamaru before and during the timeskip because those two are the smartest in the group meaning they must work together alot even if they weren't in the same squad, Chunin Neji and Chunin Shikamaru being paired up alot is something i look at with shining eyes. But Neji, he notices Shikamaru's crush on Naruto so backs off, this leads him to back to Lee cause i'm a huge Neji/Lee shipper as well. Now, i've been reading this fic i'll include it here (Love Is A Battlefield by MadamZenobia on AO3) my endgame ships are

Shikamaru/Naruto

Ino/Sakura/Sai

Sasuke/Suigetsu

Kiba/Shino

Lee/Neji

As for Hinata i'm not throwing her away, just changing her motifs a little i guess? She has a crush on Naruto yes, after him being away for so long she has time to work on herself and find herself more. She does like him but it isn't what's going to make her happy. It isn't because i don't like Naruto/Hinata it's cute it's alright but it doesn't make sense even if i haven't seen the movies or episodes that show it. I feel like Hinata needs to do some self reflecting. Naruto is a huge inspiration to her, she's watched him train, become who he is but those two with a family together isn't something i can see happening even if it canonly happened, when i first got into this i didn't see it coming. So in my story Hinata is happy living her best life being single, watching her friends be happy together has brought her so much peace, even watching Naruto be happy with Shikamaru. (I wanna plan a talk she has with Shikamaru about his crush on Naruto and them discussing their feelings about Naruto so Shikamaru doesn't feel like he just took Naruto from her since from his point of view it looks like she liked him first but Shikamaru's had a crush on Naruto since he meet him, Shikamaru met Naruto first. ) I also have an idea of Hinata just wanting to be a single mother in Boruto, and Naruto/Shikamaru adopting and teaching a orphan both their Jutsu's turbsdfuvbhrsu IT'LL BE SO CUTE

i'm not finished with my story im writing but i can give you my fic i'm rewriting, the original version it's Shikamaru and Naruto what a troublesome love story by ZerosWaifu (I don't have a tumblr im using my friend's account they said it's fine so don't worry )

THIS ONE IS SO LONG IM SORRY

I'm so glad you're into shikanaru as well, I have never really found someone to talk to about them!! Please do share your story when it's done, I would love to read it <3

I feel pretty neutral about Sai/Ino, not because I think they are madly in love or anything but in Boruto I like the dynamic I saw of them, plus inojin is my favorite kid so I'm biased here… But I'm also super down for a Sai/Sakura/Ino, with mostly Sakura being the bridge between them!!!

For me, Ino would be a lesbian who had to deal with a lot of compulsory heterosexuality, so she forced herself to have a crush on Sasuke when they were kids because that's just what girls are supposed to do, but after a small breakdown after a fight with sakura she talks to her parents and surprisingly it's them that tell her that she might have a crush on her and they tell her that it's okay if she feels that way and that there is nothing wrong with her.

I think it's pretty accurate that Sakura would be a little reluctant to accept that, but eventually, she does understand that she's bisexual and things become a little easier for her to figure out what she wants and who she wants to be! [Discovering non-monogamy/polyamory is a whole other can of worms so I'm not gonna get into that here unless you want me to!!]

I'M SO GLAD YOU BROUGHT UP NEJI AND SHIKAMARU. Okay I know they're not your main pairing but a few years ago I read a fic of them that to this day has a place in my brain, I will leave linked it here if you're interested

But yes, for our shikanaru endgame purpose, Neji is very perceptive so he kind of always knew he never really had a chance here, he backs off, and eventually, his feelings for someone else grow which is how we get to neji/lee!!

Also thank you for the fic rec, I'll try to give it a read soon <3 Sasuke and suigetsu is such an interesting ship, I never got into them fully but their dynamic is so fun!

I like your take on Hinata, for me, i ship her with Kiba, he was so in love with her it's crazy, I don't know if you noticed the signs but they would have so much potential, honestly a throuple with shino would work too. But I also really like your take on her talking it out with shikamaru and realizing that her feelings for Naruto lean more toward admiration than actual romantic love, would love for her to have a happy life, would also really adore seeing her become the head of the Hyuuga clan and start making the changes Naruto promised Neji he would do it (and he never actually did it)!!

I think that's all i have for today?? do hmu whenever you want cause i'm super happy to explore more about naruto <33

[andromebaa]

Despair’s Legacy

A Danganronpa AU

Part 2 - The Legacy Students Here are the first half of the Legacy students!

Sid & Joey

The silly guys! Sid and Joey are the oldest kids? (I think I made them like 19 initially but I'm still calling them kids I don't care) out of the Legacy Students. Thought it would be fun to have twin characters because as we all know twins are not at all significant to the plot of DR I only had to make one sprite yey. Their main personality trait as a pair is the pretty stereotypical wacky, prank-pulling twins. Sid's technically the older twin and is a bit more aggressive and weirder. Joey is more charismatic and friendly. They dress and act the same in public-facing situations for shits and gigs but they do have distinctly different personalities. I'm not sure I'm like, entirely happy with how I initially characterised them. They just felt too similar to Leon at some points but eh. Had a mini freak out because I wasn't sure if wacky coloured hair is like....genetic in the DR universe?! Whatever.

Daiya

Oh Daiya. Daiya, Daiya, Daiya. She was the first OC I created for this thing and the one who I spent the most time on. I thought it'd be cute if Taka's daughter took one look at Mondo and was like you are my entire personality now. He's definitely a father figure to her (Ishimondo was end game in this AU btw, also on that note any father/mother pairings in this AU do not equal couples or anything. That was all done out of fulfilling the contracts. Half of them are gay/queer in some way I promise) Anyway, I always kind of pictured her as a rebel - as much as she could be in such an intimate place. Getting answers wrong in class on purpose, and hanging out in areas she's not supposed to be in. A big part of the plot of the AU hinges on her creating a club with the sole intent of escaping the school. Her dream is to travel across the land Mad Max style. Daiya ended up being the more or less 'antagonist' archetype for this AU. I still kind of flip-flop between giving her delinquent and queen bee bully personality. The twins are her lackeys.

Ren

Sad girl hours time! Ren is a jumpy, skittery mess. She knows her existence was a mistake, so she spends her time desperately trying to make up for it.

She loves being around children and is the designated babysitter for the younger Legacy Students. When she's not being mercilessly bullied by Daiya or alienating herself from others, she also likes to make toys. Another really big aspect of this AU is that Toko voluntarily locks herself away (to protect the others from Genocider), so Ren takes it upon herself to act as her caretaker. I'm still kind of working out what her relationship with Byakuya is. I definitely made it more fractured in the original concept, but I don't think he would be that cold to his own child.

Kaito

Hi I am very unhealthy about Kaito he is my favourite. Before you ask, I made him before V3 came out and I absolutely refuse to change his name even though it makes everything I write really confusing (I think he'd get along really well with V3 Kaito though) He's my favourite attempt at mixing two Danganronpa characters together and creating an amalgamation because he ended up becoming a chill and friendly surfer vibe new age one with the universe bro friend. Also he's a blind seer who kickstarts the AU story with a horrifying vision so that's always fun! He's definitely one of the most complex Legacy students because he has tons of layers to him. Something something happiest people are always y'know - not.

Yukihiko

Ah yes, gotta have the quiet, stoic guy who stands in the corner. Yuki start off a lot meaner/more sarcastic when I first made him but then I was like nah I kinda like making him the guy who says like five words a day and judges you quietly from a distance. I was also going to make him more martial arts focused but I ended up making him more into meditation once I figured out his whole thing, that being he's afraid of his own power so he tries to keep himself in a calm state as much as he can.

and that's all the older kids! If anyone ever wants to discuss them or anything I am always open lmao they've rotted my brain for like 6 - 7 years so I have some weird ass lore for all of them.

Part 1 - - - Part 3