#that would be so funny. when have I ever posted anything of value on here

[mbappe]

I dont even remember how I managed to procure this url 

[aniesvision]

one and only (soft dom! colby brock x virgin! f reader)

warnings: mentions of angst, mentions of toxic relationship, fluff, make out, pet names (baby, love, beautiful), praising, oral (f! receiving), fingering, p in v, love and cute moments that's all I guess

a/n: hi! this one was based in this request, i'm sorry it took so long for me to post it! i hope y'all like it, friendly reminder that english is not my first language! enjoy ✨

synopsis: You and Colby are dating for a while now, one day you decided you wanted to do something to show him how much you trust and love him.

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just to clarify, all 'first time's are different and it can be good, but it also can be bad, don't rush things if you don't feel prepared, it's not worth it. take your time 💕

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-Are you sure you wanna do this? -Colby asks, worried that I was going to regret my own choice.

-Yes, Colby, I'm sure. -I roll my eyes with a smile, pulling him by the hand to his room.

It's our month anniversary, we've been together for three months now and I couldn't be happier. Before we started dating, we were friends for a couple years. I always knew my feelings for him wasn't just friendly, but it took me a long time to accept it.

Before I met Colby, I was in another relationship, my first one and the worst experience I've ever had. The guy I was with wasn't exactly nice to me, or my friends, he would yell at me, call me bad words and make me feel the worse. I was so blind, thinking he'd change and that he was a good guy deep down. But that just wasn't the truth.

I broke up with him when I couldn't take it anymore, he was mad at me for weeks just because I didn't want to have sex with him, but I was scared, I wasn't sure he was the one anymore and I didn't want to lose my virginity with someone I wasn't sure I truly loved.

A few months later I met Colby, we had mutual friends and we got along pretty well. We talked a lot, exchanged numbers, we texted and he asked me to go on a date with him. Although I was still heartbroken and not wanting to be in another relationship so soon, I went to the date. We talked and he accepted to take things slow. We kept on being just friends, going out sometimes, but nothing else.

I ended up falling in love with him. It was inevitable, he was so gentle, never rushed anything, respected me all the time, he treated me nicely and my friends actually liked him. We had our first kiss a while ago, and soon enough we engaged in a relationship.

It was perfect, so different from my last one. He's gentle, cute, caring, funny. He's always showing me that good people still exists and not everyone's a bad person. He's so important, and I value him so much, that I wanted to somehow show him how much I love him, how grateful I am to have him in my life. 

That's what brings us here, to his room, after a make out session on the couch downstairs. He knows I'm a virgin, I've told him before and he didn't care, he said we could do it whenever I was ready and the wait wouldn't make him love me less, but I wanted him. It's not like I don't feel things, don't feel needy, I'm just scared because it's a new thing and I have no idea how's it going to be like. But I trust him, and I want it to be with him.

We sit on his bed, facing each other, our hands interlocked together as his thumb caress my skin lightly. I take a deep breath, none of us speaking, it was like we were gathering the courage to do something or even processing things first.

-I really love you, you know? -I say, in a low, shy voice.

The mood and tension in the room make me realize how real it was. How intense the sensations felt, and how loud my heartbeats were beating.

-I know you do, baby. I love you too, so much, but you really don't have to do this just to prove yourself, I can see how much you actually care about me. -He says, in a soft tone, looking in my eyes with affection.

God, what did I do to deserve him?

I smile, raising one of my hands to cup his cheek, my eyes admiring all his features.

-I know, but I want to.

We stay silent once again, just taking in the emotions and thinking of what to do next. He nods slowly, leaning in to peck my lips gently.

-You sure? Like, really sure? -He asks again, making me giggle against his lips.

-Yes, love, I do. I want to do it, with you, because I trust you.

He smiles again, closing the small gap between us to kiss me intently. His lips moved against mine perfectly, the softness making me feel at peace. It was comfortable and hot at the same time, heated and full of love.

Colby slowly leans me down on the bed, making me lay on my back and hovering over me without breaking the kiss. One of his hands explored my body, running up and down my sides. My arms wrap around his neck, pulling him impossibly closer to me, wanting to feel every single piece of his skin touching mine.

He pulls away from the kiss, lowering his lips to my neck, licking and nibbling the soft and sensitive area, making me sigh in pleasure. It was so good, it didn't felt forced at all, it was all gentle and sweet. Colby keeps moving down, lifting my long t-shirt over my head and throwing it aside. He takes a longer look at me, his eyes roaming up and down my bare chest, gaze intense and dark.

-You're so beautiful. -He kisses the valley of my boobs, cupping one of my tits with his hand. -My beautiful girl.

Colby teases my nipples with his fingertips, licking and sucking them lightly, his touches getting possessive by the second. He seemingly enjoyed himself by playing with my boobs, my soft moans making him drag down his lips to meet my stomach. He pulls back, looking at me as if asking for permission to slide down the last piece of clothing covering my body.

I nod, wanting nothing more than to feel something. My thoughts wondered how his lips and tongue would feel somewhere else, somewhere it'd never been before, and just with that my entire body heat up.

He seems to notice it, a small smirk growing in the corners of his lips as his eyes explore my now naked body hungrily.

-Fuck, beautiful, you're so fucking perfect.

Colby kisses my inner thighs gently, his hands on my hips keeping me still. I prop myself on my elbows to look at him better, one of my hands tangling in his hair and stroking it lightly, caressing his scalp. My heartbeats were racing, chest raising and falling rapidly, anxious to feel a new thing, the new sensation my body seemed to crave.

Finally Colby's lips get in contact with my core, pressing a quick kiss before sliding his tongue from my entrance to my clit. A soft moan escapes my lips, making him feel bolder and move his tongue faster.

-Fuck, baby. -I throw my head back on the pillow, closing my eyes to focus on the feelings.

I didn't even need to look at him to know he was smirking. He was clearly enjoying himself, I know he always wanted to do this and now that is finally happening I had no intend on pulling back. He was eating me out like he was starving, and my inexperienced self couldn't hold back my sounds and squirming, my legs already shaking against his face.

Colby looked up at me, slowly bringing his hand down and teasing my entrance with his middle finger, the rings he was wearing making him hotter than I thought it was possible. His gaze was intense, he was completely consumed by his desire and it was obvious by the darkness in his eyes.

Without any warnings, he pushes his finger inside of me, a gasp leaving my parted lips as I wince a bit by the new sensation.

-It's alright, baby, you're doing so well, just need to stretch you, need to make sure I'm not gonna hurt you. -He explains, eyes leaving mine to look down to his actions.

I whine at his words, his finger was uncomfortable at first, but then it started to feel good, sliding easily in and out my wetness. He suddenly added another one, my throat immediately turning dry. It wasn't exactly bad, and it didn't exactly hurt, but the first minutes were definitely uncomfortable.

He kept fingering me for a while, savoring the sight of his fingers entering me for the first time ever. He looked almost hypnotized, only pulling away to keep things going when I started to shake again. I huff in frustration with the new feeling of emptiness when his fingers leave me and he chuckles at me.

-Don't worry, baby, gonna fill you up again, but not with my fingers.

He crawls on top of me again, kissing me deeply, making me feel my own taste. It was all so new, a territory I never explored before with anyone, and he was making it feel so natural. I wasn't even that nervous, just a bit anxious, naturally.

Colby's clothes were on the floor in a heartbeat, my eyes taking it's time to appreciate the view. I bite my lips in anticipation, finally looking up to meet his eyes again, with him already looking at me with a mix of desire and concern.

-You're 100% sure, right? -He asks, once more, propping himself on his elbows.

I smile, although my heartbeats could be heard in the silence, I was peaceful. With a nod of my head, my hands slide up his arms as I lean to kiss him once more. He quickly reciprocates, deepening it and using one hand to touch all details of my body.

He wrapped it up with a condom, giving me a few more seconds to deny it if I wanted to. He was so desperate to feel me, yet so nervous, even more than I was, which is kinda funny. I was the one about to lose my virginity and he was the one freaking out.

-I trust you. -I speak, when I see him reluctant on top of me, scared to do something I wasn't ready to, but I was, and I truly wanted to.

He nods with a small smile, sliding his tip up and down my folds, collecting my wetness before aligning his dick on my entrance.

-Tell me if it hurts, ok? If you wanna stop just say it and I will.

And with that he was thrusting only his tip inside of me, the burning sensation immediately making me tear up and whine. He stopped, waiting patiently for me to give him the green light, and as soon as I do he pushes it all at once.

-Fuck, baby. -He groans, burying his face on my shoulder.

I try to take deep breaths, my pussy pulsing against him, trying to adjust to his size. It wasn't the worst feeling ever, with all the things people say I thought it'd be way worse. Maybe I'm just lucky, maybe I'm just wet, but definitely trusting him enough to not be so nervous helped a lot.

I tell him to move when I felt like I could take it, and his hips started to slap against mine, making nasty sounds all over the room, echoing through the walls. It wasn't the best thing ever at first, but minutes later when I was finally getting used to it it started to feel better, the pain and the burning sensations going away slowly.

Colby looks at me to make sure I was alright and kisses my forehead, touching my nose with his, he was thrusting in a faster pace, deeper, making me feel him in my stomach.

-Fuck, so good, you look so pretty. -He praises, making me smile and blush, eyes rolling back slightly as I could feel my body moving up and down with each thrust of his.

My hands squeeze his arms, nails digging on his skin as I tried to assimilate all my feelings, my heart beating faster when he captures my lips with his own, kissing me soft, the pace of the kiss not matching the pace of his thrusts.

-I love you. -He mumbles against my lips.

-I love you too. -I whisper.

Colby moves even faster, sweat dripping down his temples as he warned me he was close, moving one of his hands to rub circles on my clit. I feel the not so familiar not on my stomach forming, a desperate need to explode filling my thoughts, my moans getting louder and a loud scream of his name leaving my lips when it snaps, making me release all over him.

That was enough to make him reach his own climax, filling the condom with his warm seed. He slides out of me, throwing the plastic away and pulling me to cuddle. My face was rested on his chest, both of us breathing heavily.

-Thank you for trusting me. I love you, baby. -He breaks the silence, kissing the top of my head and squeezing me against his body.

-I love you, Colby, you're my one and only, thank you for making me feel so good. -I respond, kissing him gently.

We both fall asleep a few minutes later enjoying our company and feeling way too comfortable with each other's warmth. It was my first time, and although it had a few pain and burning sensations involved, I couldn't ask for a better experience.

tags 💕

@riowritesitall @sturniolosarethebest @hyacinthst @anabanana28 @flower-sturns @sturncakez @sssoniaswiftt @watercolorskyy @delooshunalhoe @sarosfilms @blahbel668 @sturniyolo69 @sturniolosl0t @sturnsxbitvh @nessii-sturniolo @colbsposts00 @fallingforfalll2 @stvrnmc @slxtformatt @lovingregulusblack @starnoirr @katie-tibo @mattsfavbigtitties

[wynsummers]

i've been thinking about the whole "friction in his jeans" thing a lot lately, and while it is certainly one of the more iconic instances of the lyric in the CD booklet being different from the actual song, it is far from the only one. on top of that, there are quite a few lyrics that play with double meanings that only become clear when they're written out.

so, i present a collection of every lyric in the fob CD booklets that differ from the final version, punctuation and double meanings that aren't noticeable unless the song is written out, and any other interesting details i find in the process, or a really long post of me cornplating about fob:

disclaimer that if the difference is small enough/doesn't change the meaning of the line i won't include it because that would take me years (for example, the book says "light that smoke for giving up on me" and patrick says "yeah, one for giving up on me" but literally who cares that changes nothing. everything i include here is relevant, i think)

follow-up disclaimer that there are a bunch of fucking typos in every single one of these books because these boys never proofread anything but unless i think it's significant in some way i probably will skip it

TAKE THIS TO YOUR GRAVE:

tell that mick:

"I hope you choke on those words, that kiss, that bottle - I confess / now ash yourself out on the insides, when I said I loved you I swear I lied"

grand theft autumn:

"someday i'll appreciate in value, get off my ass and call you... but for the meantime i'll sport my brand new fashion of waking up with my clothes on at 4:00 in the afternoon"

saturday:

"pete and i said goodbye to astoria with promise and precision and mess of youthful innocence"

(most of these are just silly but this one fucking hurts)

sending postcards:

"fake it like you matter - cause that's the biggest secret you have to keep"

chicago is so two years ago:

"that means that I believed every single lie you said (and learned from the best)"

"cause every pain of glass that your pebbles tap negates the pains i went through to avoid you / and every little pat on the shoulder for attention fails to mention i still hate you" (pain of glass instead of pane of glass - i think this is supposed to be a parallel. that or pete just misspelled pane)

patron saint:

"I'm holding out and I'm holding on to every letter and every grudge"

*flashes forward 20 years to hmlag*

anyway

FROM UNDER THE CORK TREE:

our lawyer made us change the name of this song so we wouldn't get sued:

"we're good friends only when you're on your knees"

sugar:

the icon, the legend

"don't mind me, i'm watching you two from the closet wishing to be the friction in his jeans" 🎉🏳️‍🌈

dark alley:

"joke me something awful just like kisses on the necks of 'just friends'"

"I'm hopelessly hopeful that you're just hopeless enough"

champagne for my real friends, real pain for my shrimp friends:

"you steer away in a rearview mirror, make my head swim"

i slept with someone in fob:

"someone old, no one new / always borrowed, always you"

THIS ONE!! THIS FUCKING ONE [CAR CRASH] [SIRENS]

ahem. anyway

sixteen candles:

"i confess, i'm just messed up / dropping 'i'm sorrys' like you're still around"

XO:

"to hands"

(that's it. no "between legs, and whatever it takes" just hands. just fuckin. to hands)

"to hotel stares/stairs" (wordplay!! to clarify it literally says "stares/stairs" in the book)

"choose awe or sympathy"

also in the last verse it says 'to the "love"' with the quotes which is just kinda funny

INFINITY ON HIGH:

this ain't a scene:

"crashing not like hips or hearts"

i'm like a lawyer:

"i only keep myself this sick in the head cause i know how the words get you (off)"

"collect the bad habits that you couldn't bare to keep" (idk this one might just be a typo)

hum hallelujah:

similarly, this might also be a typo, but "versus" is spelled "verses"

(after) life:

ok. ok. hear me out. this is the cornplatiest i have ever been. but on genius it says "death's in a double bed"

and on the lyric book it says "deaths in a double bed"

that changes everything!!! (not really, i know) it's not death as a concept or figure or whatever it's deaths. as in multiple people dying. aaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuaaaaaaaughhhhhhhhhhh

moving on

carpal tunnel:

"we take the sip from life's lush lips"

the line "we might've started singing just a little soon" isn't listed, it's just the goodbye line twice

"but i'm just tired yawns for fawns"

you're crashing:

"the cause, the kid, the charm, and the curse"

ginasfs:

"lips pressed this close to mine"

"but the prince of this failing empire knows" (hhhnnnggggggghhh)

"i've already given up on myself once but the third time is the charm" that's not how numbers work pete <3

"just kind of figured on not figuring myself out"

FOLIE A DEUX:

folie a deux doesn't have a lyric book. just portraits of the boys with empty white pages that have their names written on them. my poor beautiful masterpiece

BELIEVERS NEVER DIE VOL. 1:

fnowae:

not a lyric but for some reason the whole fuckin song is in quotes

SAVE ROCK AND ROLL:

the phoenix:

another punctuation thing but instead of "hope to die" it's "hope-to-dies"

"you're wearing our vintage misery"

alone together:

"my heart is like a stallion, they love it more when it's broke in" instead of "broken" (i love double meanings!! i love wordplay!! i love pete wentz!!)

where did the party go:

"i will appear to you if you make yourself shake fast enough"

the mighty fall:

the lyric book straight up doesn't have big sean's part 💔

rat a tat:

at the end there's this "talk less / mean more / let's be electric / like we were before" that i have literally never heard so i'm assuming it's a neat little cut lyric

save rock and roll:

"i will save the songs / the songs we're singing"

AMERICAN BEAUTY / AMERICAN PSYCHO:

irresistible:

"coming in announced" this one. this one's just a typo. come on boys it's been 12 years at this point read the books more than once

"i just dragged my nails on the tile / i just follow your scent" ?? idk

"this will not be a battle"

ab/ap:

for some fucking reason it just says "she's an american beauty" three times at the start of the song 😭

"and as we're drifting off to sleep" isn't in there, it just says "and all those dirty thoughts of me, they were never yours to keep"

the kids aren't alright:

indulge me once more, reader. i am cornplating again

instead of "former heroes who quit too late and just wanna fill up their trophy case again" it's "wanted to" do you understand why that makes me insane

also they have it as "will put your curse in reverse" instead of "we" which could be a typo but could also be a neat little change

uma thurman:

"you cut me deep like uma thurman"

jet pack blues:

"i'm the kind that can turn june to september / the last one that you'll ever remember"

"between these two white highway signs"

immortals:

"i try to picture you without me but i can't"

M A N I A:

hold me tight or don't:

the line "i'm pretty sure that this isn't how our story ends" isn't included

wilson:

"i know it's just a number but to me you're the 8th wonder"

sunshine riptide:

they didn't include any of burna boy's lines 😒

SO MUCH (FOR) STARDUST:

smfs doesn't have any lyric changes that i noticed, just the usual typos.

update: future emma here, upon further contemplation I have decided to add the line "I'd never go, I just want to be invited" since the first verse definitely says "I'll" (thank you sugarweregoinin and foliejpg for inspiring this revelation)

and there we have it! if you're insane patient enough to have made it until the end, thank you for reading and i hope you enjoyed! if there are any i missed/any in CDs that i don't have please let me know i find these so fascinating (if you couldn't tell). i just love getting glimpses into their writing process and seeing how the songs we know and love evolve before they get to us. i might also do a post about how spotify/genius gets a bunch of their lyrics wrong because it pisses me off but this is all for now, good day/night!

[epickiya722]

You know what, let's talk about it. I have thoughts on 268, specifically the "end" between Yuji and Sukuna.

(Jumping off this post and this one.)

Maybe because I'm a fan of both (with Yuji being overall favorite), but I don't see how anyone can be a Sukuna fan and hate Yuji. Especially after 268.

After everything Sukuna has done to him, Yuji still has empathy for him. He connects with Sukuna while holding him as he (Sukuna) fades away (assumingly, I'll get to that).

The scene does start off like Yuji's final confrontation with Mahito (chapter 132 for reference). Yuji looking down at his enemy in his defeated form, says his name and then "I am you", but in reverse.

To me when Yuji says that "You are me", he's telling Sukuna that they are one in the same, that Sukuna could have been Yuji had he had a different life. He's letting Sukuna to accept that, that he is human just as much as when Yuji told Mahito he is no different from the curse.

With Mahito, Yuji was trying to deny, deny, deny until he accepts that "Yeah, we are the same". That's what he wants Sukuna to do. He wants Sukuna to be the Yuji here.

However, it's to see that Sukuna is human and there's value in living. How you die doesn't matter, it's how you live that does. He wants Sukuna to have that second chance even if Sukuna doesn't deserve it.

Let's be real, out of all the characters it is Yuji who came to understand Sukuna the most, probably even more than Sukuna himself.

And I don't think Yuji just gets that him and Sukuna are one. He also gets that humans and curses are one and as such should the idea of humans and curses coexisting is what he accepts. Yuji is the embodiment of an enlightening.

Visually pleasing, I do like that when Yuji speaks here, he still has his facial injuries, his hair slicked back and even his eyes still have the rings. He looks like his own version of Sukuna here. To me, it brings more meaning to his "You are me" line because the last Sukuna sees isn't just Yuji, but also a different version of himself that he could have been.

And at first, it did seem odd (I'll use that word) that Yuji didn't keep the scars he had from that final fight, but it made sense to me because he does have RCT and most of the Cursed energy he was using did go into his techniques and Domain.

But also, a visual reminder that he is still Yuji.

I think about how some of the fandom sees Yuji as the next Sukuna, but I don't think is ever something the mangaka had planned.

Yes, Yuji Itadori is Ryomen Sukuna and Ryomen Sukuna is Yuji Itadori.

But also, they're not each other.

They're still two different beings, two different individuals. They're opposites just as much as they are alike.

Yuji without his scars that would have made him look like Sukuna is a visual reminder that at the end of the day, he is still him.

He was born with his life already planned for him and now he can live how he wants to because he has value in himself and in living.

Yuji Itadori will always be Yuji Itadori.

Not a cog, not a vessel. But Yuji Itadori.

☆

Rereading the posts I linked above and thinking about how their souls are so intertwined that the other characters had to be careful about their plans around Yuji, I remembered a post I wrote way back when about how "it would be so funny if Yuji was Sukuna reincarnated".

Thinking about all that put together what if Yuji is?

Just hear me out.

Remember when Sukuna said he "doesn't feel anything"? Well, what if Yuji is that "anything"? He's the piece of Sukuna that Sukuna didn't feel, the "humanity and empathy". Sukuna doesn't have to feel, Yuji does it for him.

Yuji is that regret, despair, genuine happiness, concern and other forms of emotions that Sukuna can't bring himself to feel.

Now, I do want to bring up something else. A part of me has a feeling that Sukuna isn't really dead. Technically, with Yuji being him and vice versa, metaphorically he isn't. But also... we didn't actually see him completely disintegrate.

It cuts to Yuji's eyes.

Here, it could be Yuji just watching Sukuna fade away completely in regret. Or could be him being anxious over a decision he may have been about to make and said decision he could have gone through with it.

Maybe he ate what remained of Sukuna just before he was completely gone? Maybe that small piece that was left in his hands?

I know, I know. There's this bit here when Uraume is shattering like an icicle hitting the ground.

But what if that final piece of incarnated piece of Sukuna died when (hypothetically) Yuji ate it?

Just me now! I've said it before plenty of times, but I don't expect anyone to agree with me or even think I'm right about this.

Overall, 268 so far has reminded why Yuji easily is my favorite JJK character. He's compassionate, even when he doesn't have to be. He's a fighter, but not to indulge some enjoyment. It's to help. He will sacrifice physical parts of himself, even his humanity just so he can do his job as a jujutsu sorcerer. He's selfless, a strength and a weakness.

Yuji is just a perfect balance of flaws and strengths that define him that I admire.

[girlietips]

Boundaries I have 🤍🦢🩰

Hey cuties here are some of my personal boundaries that I use on a daily basis🤍

If anyone last minute cancels plans with me I don’t make more plans with them.

Obviously within reason if something happens that the person had genuinely no control over this does not apply.

But if the person just decides to not come or wants to move back our meeting time by anymore than 30 minutes I cancel it and no longer make plans with just that person (if someone else is going then I will make exceptions).

When people don’t value your time it is very clear and especially because I like to have my whole day planned out someone else not wanting to show up is not something I am going to deal with.

I don’t tolerate any mean jokes

Whether they are towards me or towards another person just because it is said in a joking manner does not make it any kinder.

Listen I have two very very good close friends. One that I’ve known for around 13 years and the other who I’ve known for about 7 years. Never once in all of those years have they ever said anything mean to me. They have definitely called me out when I am in the wrong but we have never had the kind of relationship where we are just mean to each other and call it jokes.

If you are one of those people that says your relationship is perfectly healthy even though you are constantly “making fun” of each other. I invite you to truly ask yourself these questions. “If it was someone else saying this would it hurt my feelings?” and “if the joking tone was taken away would it still be funny?”

I don’t tolerate any violent or graphic jokes. (“Dark humor”)

It is never funny, it is never going to make you seem more edgy, and it’s never gonna make you look cool to make fun of suffering. You lacking basic empathy is very apparent when you make fun of tragedies and half the time there is not even a punch line.

It’s just very immature and I also find the people who tell these jokes don’t really care about “time and place”. Often times they use the “stop being so sensitive” retort to cover up that they don’t have a funny bone in their body and can’t read a room to save their life.

Save them for Reddit babes!

No one (not even myself) will get in the way of my self care and sleep schedules!!

I find that I feel best going to bed really early and rising early as well so generally I don’t make plans after 6-7pm (exceptions for big life events, birthdays, weddings, holidays) any friend who is a true friend knows this about me and will not try and force me to go out late.

Same thing with myself no matter how important work or school is to me it never will trump taking care of myself so I feel the best.

These are the main ones I follow let me know if you want me to explain how I set my boundaries or if you just want more of mine because I definitely have more but I’ve been slow at posting lately and wanted to get this out of my drafts🤍

Bye cuties🩰🦢

[oddballwriter]

The Second

Summary: After going on an unplanned adventure with your best friend and crush, his host, and his host's wife to stop the end of the world, and ending up in an accidental love triangle... square...whatever shape it is, you go back to your hometown to clear your mind. It's a great success for you, helping you reconnect with your childhood friend and even bring him back to continue the fun and show him your life in London. But unbeknownst to you, it seems like it might just cause a rift that is born on one side of the triangle.

Warnings: Love triangle and unrequited feelings. The reader is referred to using she/her. Angst, it's soft but it's there. Third-wheeling. I can't think of anything else but I feel like there's more, if there is just tell me. 

Author’s Snip: This is sort of a pilot for a series idea that I have that involves all kinds of love shape situations, rivalry, and dragging friends into all kinds of avatar shenanigans on accident. So if you guys like this, let me know so that I can prep and have it ready for writing and planning.

Notes: This is not proofread before posting, if there are errors blame Grammarly for not catching it. I might fix them later.  

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.

Word Count: 2,892

Tag List: @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction

What an adventure you just went on. It all feels so unreal when you even try and think about it. Even as you stare up at the ceiling above your bed you find it hard to really digest fully.

Your good friend Steven turned out to be an alter for a person with DID who's named Marc Spector, whom you had not met, ever, throughout you and Steven's close friendship. In which Marc is the avatar and fist of justice for the Egyptian god Khonshu and was living his life while Steven was not fronting, unbeknownst to Steven, and has been playing a game of keep-away with a cult and their leader for a scarab. And you ended up finding all that out when some members of the cult kidnapped you to intimidate Steven and Marc. By the way, Marc is married and has been married, to a woman named Layla. And so you had to go on this whole adventure with all three of them to stop the end of the world, or something, nearly dying on several occasions, and now it's done apparently. Crisis averted. Also, there is a fucking third one.

You're sure that if you told someone outside of your journal and your new group of friends about this, then you would be thrown into a psychiatric hospital in record time.

And that isn't even mentioning all the complicated feelings you're having right now about the love triangle, that only you are aware of. Because of course, you're in a love triangle that the two other people have no idea exists. It's complicated. It was a little complicated at the start, and now it's so much more complicated because now there's another person involved.

Scratch that, four people involved. This is a love square.

Fuck it, now that Jake's here it might actually be a love pentagon now!

Either way, it all has to do with your feelings towards Steven. You had developed them pretty early on in your friendship with Steven because you just so happened to fall into your type. Dork, sweet, funny, and polite guys were your weakness. You tried to fight them off, not wanting to ruin the friendship that you honestly valued with Steven. But he just had this aura and energy that had your heart like a moth to a flame. Some might call it a slow burn. You'd say that it all was fast. But the warmth went to heat that got painful when you found out about Marc and Layla, and thus Steven and Layla.

You're not mad at Layla. Of course not! Why would you? She was there first, technically. It feels bad to say that. Both because you'd have to try and snuff out the feelings that you have, but also because it sounds wrong. It sounds like Steven's an object to be won instead of a person with his own thoughts and feelings. And you never once saw him like that. He was Steven. Nice, sweet, funny Steven.

You knew you needed to move on, even if it hurt. You know you don't have the guts and nerve to be 'the other person' even if you got the chance to be. It would be disrespectful to Layla, and Layla's a great woman. You settle on going back home, to your hometown, to see family and friends in hopes that it'll distract you, maybe even help you get over it if you're lucky. You call up your family who gladly accept the idea and will set up the room that you'll stay in by the time you get there. With that, you pack your bags, get ready for the trip, and head off.

You don't tell Steven that you're leaving to anywhere at first until you're just about to leave, figuring that if he tries to visit you and you're not there he'll assume someone else has kidnapped you and panic. You just send him a simple "As a heads up I'll be out of town for a while. I need a break.", at some point in your trip heading towards your hometown he texts you back with a single "Okay. Sounds nice.".

As it turns out, going around old loved ones really does help your blues. Matter of fact it seems like everyone from your life here heard the news that you'd be spending a few weeks in town and all got together to see you. Your uncle and dad actually threw a little family cookout so that everyone can come say hi to you.

Everyone had questions for you. What's London like? What have you been doing? How's life going over there?

Of course, you can't tell them about all the recent events and you also don't want to ruin your good mood by talking about Steven like you probably would have if this were a trip not spawned from him, in a sense. Overall, everyone's just happy you're back regardless.

You meet a really old face amidst the crowd of family and friends who've assembled. Samson. Sammy. God, you'd know his face anywhere and you know he'd know yours too. You and Sammy have been best friends since diapers. Your moms were friends. Apparently, the story goes that your mom and dad were at the courthouse waiting in line to sign the marriage papers and so were Sammy's mom and dad. Your mothers started talking and it turns out they have a lot in common. By the time both parties left the courthouse, they were in each other's weddings, to which they then found out that they both would be moving into the same area to settle down. Your moms swear that you and Sammy being close in age was just a coincidence but you always joked that it wasn't.

Sammy is hard to put into words. How do you describe the person who's been your best friend since both of you were coloring with crayons and all the way to high school graduations and beyond? The number one person you would talk to about things outside of your parents and through all of the other friends you've both had throughout your lives, the one that has always been the same. Sammy is just Sammy to you, in the most sincere way possible.

After seeing each other at the cookout you catch up on just about everything. What you've been up to, any life milestones you've gotten to while apart. You tell him about London and he tells you about his life here in town. Sammy's gotten up to a few things, had a few girlfriends, and apparently, he's developed his own business. Turns out he's a handyman and locksmith now and makes great money. Gets to make his own hours, so he says. Sammy teases you a bit and asks if you've been collecting British boyfriends. You know it's just a tease but it plucks at the still tender parts of your heart a little. You brush it off and say no.

"No?" Sammy questions, "Come on. Someone like you over there? You're kidding me. You've got to have some guys waiting like a dog for you to come back." he says. You decide to play along in the banter.

"Maybe I do. What of it, Sam-I-Am." you shrug, pretending like he's trying to compete and also pulling out old childhood nicknames. Sammy cringes and the nickname, "Oof, not the Sam-I-Am from kindergarten. You know only my dad called me that until you said it in class. Then everyone started calling me that till fifth grade." Sammy laughs. "Not you doing your shitty British accents when I said I had a thing for British boys back in seventh grade." you reference and make a call back of your own. "It made you laugh and that was my goal." Sammy playfully defended.

For a good half of your stay, Sammy was there, like always, and you would be talking about the old days. Referencing various moments and laughing or cringing together. It felt so nostalgic and good to just feel that bond again, have someone who knows all your little inside jokes and references because they were there when it was formed, and you both didn't want it to stop.

So when the day that you were to go back to London you threw out the idea that Sammy come back with you and continue the fun there. Show him what you've been doing and show him the little life you've created there.

Even though you live in a one-bedroom apartment you managed to accommodate your guest pretty well. You always knew that the pull-out bed extension of your couch that you bought second-hand would have a use someday. You two settled on rules and bases, along with where various things are in case they're needed.

After that, it was just more talking that made the time go by so fast and other things seem so minuscule. You hadn't really paid attention to the fact that you had a brief text conversation with Steven when you got back basically just telling him that you were back and what you're up to right now. It wasn't until he texted you something that sort of snapped you out of it.

You: I'm not really doing anything but my friend came back with me and will be here for a bit.

Steven: Oh that's nice

Steven: Can I meet them maybe?

You weren't sure how long you spent looking at that message, but it was long enough that Sammy noticed. "Something wrong?" he asks. "No," you reply, "Just one of my friends. He says he wants to meet you... if you're okay with that," you explain but hesitate slightly at the end, not really liking the sound of having Steven over right now after being able to get him off your mind. "Sure! I'd love to meet one of your friends here." Sammy responds, "If that's alright with you of course." he adds.

You take a second to weigh it out in your mind. On one hand, having the guy that you have feelings for over after you went on a whole vacation partially because he doesn't feel that way towards you doesn't sound like the best idea. But maybe having Sammy here will reduce that feeling of awkwardness since it can just be having your friends meet each other.

Taking the gamble, you tell Steven that he's good to come over.

The next few minutes are spent continuing to talk to Sammy, making jokes and having banter. When you hear the knock at your door you and a text from Steven that announces that he's arrived. You get up from the couch and make your way to the door, unlocking it and opening it up. And there he is, smiling at you and giving you his usual polite little "hello". You greet him back before stepping out of the way so that he can come in.

Sammy gets up from his seat on the couch and comes to shake Steven's hand. You see Steven hesitate briefly and sort of freeze up before taking the hand shake. You step in between them.

"Steven, this is my childhood friend, Samson. Samson, this is my friend Steven." you introduce them to each other and gesture to them respectively. "Nice to meet you!" Sammy comments. "Likewise," Steven responds.

You all take a seat, you and Sammy back on the couch while Steven takes a chair from your little dining table set. Sammy and Steven have some good small talk back and forth, talking the usual stuff when you meet new people. You can see Steven being a little fidgety, picking at his sweater sleeve, nodding along but having a small crease between his brows. All things that he does when he's nervous or concerned with something, you take it as Steven being shy about meeting and talking to new people like he usually is. You take it upon yourself to sort of help him by bringing up subjects that you know he's good at talking about.

"Steven loves Ancient Egypt and mythos. He knows pretty much everything," you mention. Sammy raises his brows in interest, "Really?" he questions. "Oh yeah," Steven confirms, "I would have made a bloody good tour guide if my superior wasn't out to get me." Steven remarks. You see Sammy hold back a laugh in the corner of your vision, you turn to him and light-heartedly scold him with a "Stop it.". Sammy looks towards you, his smile growing to a shit-eating grin. "Stop it," you repeat, "Behave. I told you not to laugh," you say as you struggle to keep your own laughter in. "He said the thing." Sammy squeaks out before letting a few laughs leave him. You lean in and bap him on the shoulder playfully, "Stop," you warn as you give him a few baps.

Steven lets out a small laugh that only you can tell is his fake trying-to-pretend-I-get-it laugh. "I'm sorry, Steven." you apologize, "Not even 24 hours in and he doesn't know how to act," you say as you look back to Sammy and give him a playful shake. "I'm sorry." Sammy says to Steven, "There's an inside joke to it I swear." he says.

"What's the joke?" Steven inquires. Your face drops, knowing what Sammy is going to say. "Don't you dare," you warn Sammy as you try to cover his mouth, but Sammy already knew that you are going to stop him and is ready to block your hand. You both spend a few seconds lightly wrestling as you try to cover his mouth and he blocks you in some way. "It has something to do with her-" Sammy says before you interrupt him with a "No!" in objection, "British boyfriend!" Sammy announces. "I don't have a British boyfriend!" you object through laughs as you hit him with a couch pillow. You both spend a few moments laughing. When you finally calm down you find Steven looking at the two of you like you've grown and extra head.

You sigh and look to Sammy, "Why don't you explain 'British boyfriend' to him since you want to talk about it so much?". "Okay, okay," Sammy submits. "This one," Sammy says pointing at you, "Had a thing for this one kid who was visiting family for the summer in our home neighborhood back in seventh grade, or seventh year, whatever it's called here. And so we have this joke that he was her British boyfriend. And I used to do a really bad accent to make her laugh and get all embarrassed.", Sammy looks at you and reassures, "I'm not going to do it, don't worry.".

The conversation goes on but you and Sammy can't help but say more jokes that you then need to explain to Steven, which leads to other stories and laughing fits between the two of you. You try to do the same with Steven in case he references something between the two of you, but you find that Steven just seems to sit there and listen, nodding along. You want to try and prompt something but at some point, you're able to sense this weird tension in the air whenever you do.

You aren't too sure what to do. You don't want to shoo Steven out since you've always said that Steven was always welcomed at your place, but the atmosphere is strange between the two of you for some reason. It isn't until Sammy gives something that would get the job done.

"You know, it's really nice to meet you, Steven. But I think the traveling is starting to catch up with me." Sammy says as he stretches his arms out. "Oh, no worry. I was actually thinking of getting out of your hair. You know..." Steven responds, "Since you guys probably had to get out early to get back here." he clarifies. Steven was already getting up to leave by the time he even started talking.

Sammy and you get up also, and you go in for the usual goodbye hug that you and Steven do when parting ways, Sammy shakes Steven's hand again and says his goodbyes.

Once Steven leaves, you and Sammy set up the couch so that Sammy can nap for a bit. You head to your room so that you can take one for yourself and reflect on the meeting. You still have a bit of that feeling of weird tension but figure that maybe Steven wasn't prepared for all the energy that you and Sammy created and all the inside jokes. Maybe a second get-together could help with that. After all, it might be great to have two best friends also be best friends with each other.

Meanwhile, Steven walks back, sitting in his thoughts quietly as he walks until Marc appears in a reflection along the walk. "What's with the long face?" Marc asks. Steven glances at Marc for a moment, "Nothing, it's just that..." Steven opens up with, "I felt like a bit of a third wheel over there." he admits. Marc shrugs, "Well it is her friend from her hometown, isn't it? I'm sure they'd be all chatty with each other.".

"Yeah, I suppose so." Steven replies, "It just felt a bit... off." Steven remarks.

[arcaneafterhours]

i drew the sbg characters if they were in my comics magic system heres a long post talking about their abilities

i somehow did doodles of all of them in one day lol. THIS IS GOING TO BE A VERY LONG POST BE CAREFUL ABOUT CLICKING READ MORE THIS IS JUST ME YAPPING ABOUT MY COMIC AND ABOUT SBG

ok so the magic system of my comic is basically this: your eye color aligns with a “concept”, and each concept turns into a very unique super power for each individual. it can be anything, as long as it fits the concept. literal or metaphorical. i designed this power system to be very vague so you can be super creative

ill explain each concept as i go down, but i basically switched the sbg cast with my cast, so all of them are called “duo ranked” and have heterochronmia, and their concepts have mixed together to create a new, entirely unique power that fits both concepts in its own creative way.

i also kept one color for every character except for aiden. i kept his red eye, because if i didnt i would be doing FOUR BROWN RANKS and i want to show off this system so ill only do 3 lmao

heres how it went:

starting off with ashlyn, her ability came pretty easy. i kept her green eye(the concept of growth) and gave her a white eye(the concept of enhancement(typically of ones own values or senses)), and they mixed together to give her control over sound, more specifically its volume and frequencies

its very useful for her, she avoids being overwhelmed way easier now and can switch off whatever is bugging her if it gets too loud. coincidentally, eavesdropping is INCREDIBLY easy, since she can just turn up a specific conversation she wants to listen in on. and she can manipulate frequencies so she makes tyler voicecrack all the time because its really funny. very simple power and its perfect for ash. her drawing turned out okay, i kinda rushed them all just to have them done dont expect high quality

I had a VERY fun time coming up with aidens power. he has his red eye(the concept of creation(self explanatory)) and i gave him a purple eye (the concept of perception, like illusions and such) and the two mixed together to allow him to turn duplicate illusions into reality (if he has enough strength to do so). he can create illusions that are specifically duplicates of objects, and they are only temporary for the time being until he actually ‘creates’ it, then of course it just permanently exists. he is limited to only a single duplicate, and one at a time. actually creating something is very draining

the only human duplicate he can make that will function correctly is himself, and he cannot make it more than a temporary illusion. he can make decoy human illusions, but he cannot make them real.

i had a lot of fun trying to draw his stupid hair it was good practice, im very happy with his drawing

next is tyler!! i put “pursuance” in the drawing because i never know how to describe it but tracking or pursual(is that a word??) is a better word i guess?? its in the works

I kept his brown eye(the concept of pursuit(being able to track things basically)) and gave him an orange eye (the concept of healing) and i gave him a pretty literal power of being able to track how far along the healing process an individual is. in turn, this also gives him the ability to sense when someone around him is hurt.

also, since he can track the healing journey, physically touching him will speed it up ever so slightly. if you have a stomach ache just go hug tyler and eventually you’ll feel better

now for possibly my favorite ability, TAYLOR :D! (featuring me forgetting the word pursuit exists and just putting ‘persual’ which may not be a WORD google LIED TO ME HELP DONT LOOK AT IT

ANYWAY just like tyler i kept her brown eye, and then i gave her a pink eye (the concept of connection), which gave me the idea of her being like tylers opposite. i wanted their powers to reflect each other, so where tyler can track physical injuries and how they heal, taylor can ‘connect’ with others and sense their mood and how it has recently been. almost like a graph!! sometimes she accidentally does it and gets overwhelmed trying to keep track of other peoples moods when she isnt prepared to handle it.

and just like tyler, physical touch from taylor will make you happy and calm (hugging taylor does that anyway) so she is like that scene in big hero six where they all lay on baymax because hes very warm and i love her

I HAVE NEVER DRAWN HAIR LIKE BEN PLEASE DONT ASK I DID MY BEST ON THESE LIYTLE DODLES

anyway

for the last time i kept bens brown eye because why does everyone have brown eyes, and then i also gave him white because i got a really really funny idea ok.

ben can track movement of people around him specifically, and he can enhance his own power. if he enhances it enough for one person, he can predict what their course of movement is about to be. its very immediate, so when hes trying to process it the action could very much already be happening. its very useful actually!!!

ITS TIME FOR MY FAVORITE ABILITY RAJGEJR FINALLY NO MORE BROWN ABILITIES

I kept logans blue eye (the concept of movement) and i gave him yellow (the concept of light) because yk yk hes a dlorist photosynthesis WHATEVER

he can basically control the movement of anything in bright light. the control on it he has depends on how bright the light is, so he finds it useful to keep a flashlight on him

THATS ALL, I HAD A LOT OF FUN FOJNG THIS I STARTED AT 10 AM AND FINISHED AT ABOUT 1:30 PM LMAO MY WRJSTS HURT A LITTLE :] If you like the magic system, i post all about the actual protagonists in #comicsafterhours if you want to see more idkffkjmdnfm,,,,,, anyway

if you actually read all that tysm?? love you lots?? ill probably draw my ocs in the sbg situation soon

[spacecolonie]

i adore your paintings so muchhh would you happen to have any other tips or tutorials for your process? anything from thumbnailing all the way to final render

Thank you 😭♥ I appreciate that a lot!! To start with I've got my advice tag (both new and veeery old stuff lol), & my youtube has a couple of speedpaints on it, one with commentary including process, brushes etc

In terms of general stuff about how I approach painting, I tend to tailor the method to the desired outcome. I talk about it more in depth on this post here, I also link to some references & tutorials that I really enjoy/recommend!

Besides that though, I guess I can do a little walkthrough of the Whisper & Tangle painting I uploaded a few months ago, since I tried something new with it that I pseudo integrated into my workflow & could be fun to talk about? 🤔

SO yes, I do always thumbnail when I'm doing a bigger painting, and they're definitely not pretty LOL. I usually use the colour fill lasso just to block in basic shapes and values with a gradient map slapped on the top -- I ended up swapping the values around in the end because it let me use the fireflies as the sole light source, making it more character focused! Then it's the usual process of resketching it all & flatting in the base colours (I also added Whisper's wisps hehe), then adding shading:

This is how I usually approach it, w/ all the shading layers clipped to the original flats to preserve editing. Multiply, screen & overlay are the most common layer modes I use while doing this, and if I'm ever struggling I'll sometimes add a gradient map too in order to unify awkward colours etc. The new thing I tried for this painting was doing what's often nicknamed as a 'clown pass' -- which is using hard edged shapes to create an easily-accessible selection mask for each part:

It looks Super funny but I actually found it very helpful, and I ended up using it to select & cut out all of their body parts onto seperate layers, which were then alpha locked. It meant I could go ham w/ large or textured brushes, smudges etc without worrying about losing those edges, or accidentally over-rendering and screwing up the anatomy in the process!!

I've kept doing something similar since, though it's a bit more dialed back; mainly using the lasso select to chop it up directly and preserve specific/necessary edges, grouping up similar body parts on a single layer etc.

After doing all that, I sat down and started rendering. The background was all blocked in & detailed with a hard round brush and these amazing brushes from Devin Elle Kurtz. There isn't anything super insightful that I think I could type on how I render, but I do have that speedpaint I mentioned earlier that'll probably shed more light. It's just a lot of eyedropping & painting, rinse and repeat

When rendering is done I usually add a concoction of adjustment layers, as well as an overlay w/ a noise texture on it. I also sharpen it all after doing so! These are the ones that I ended up adding for this painting:

The dupe & blur is a fun thing that doesn't always work, but it looks super neat when the painting itself calls for it, especially when paired w/ that noise texture. It can make stuff look like an old/low quality photograph or recording -- here's another example w/ a shadow and amy doodle I posted a few months ago:

That's about it for this painting, the majority of the time spent on it was honestly me rendering those damn leaves 🥲 Very tedious but worth it & it was a really good learning experience. I'm not sure if any of this will prove useful but thank you so much for sending in the ask, & if you (or anyone else reading this) wants a similar breakdown for a different painting of mine, please do let me know and I'll try my best to do one!! 🥺💞

[odinsblog]

For clarity: Giving Ukrainians the ability to defend themselves against a hostile foreign invasion is not what is killing Ukrainians. IT’S THE RUSSIAN MILITARY AND THEIR INVASION OF UKRAINE THAT IS KILLING UKRAINIANS.

Sorry, but you can’t just delete the agency of the country that instigated war by committing an illegal invasion, and magically shift blame away from Russia.

And what happens to Ukrainians is very well documented—you need look no farther than Bucha and Mariupol to see what the Russian army does to Ukrainian civilians once they have seized their land.

This is a nonsensical Russian propaganda talking point, and unsurprisingly, Republicans + Libertarians + ignorant ass tankies who think they’re somehow defending “communist Russia” have been regurgitating the same idiotic rhetoric ever since Russia invaded Ukraine.

Hopefully hearing Marjorie Taylor Greene speak the rhetoric exposes just how incredibly stupid it sounds. Because it IS stupid.

Until Trump, there was was no other time in modern American history that Republicans would have argued against defending a country from a Russian invasion. Russia is the aggressor here, and as Marjorie Traitor Greene admitted herself, Ukraine is not in NATO, and Ukraine was not even seeking NATO membership when Russia invaded their sovereign state.

“… if you can take the mere existence of NATO as something so intolerable that Russia simply had no choice but to invade a country that wasn't in NATO then I guess you can believe anything.”

Russia could end the war instantly, just by turning its army around and going back home to Russia.

SN: To be sure, the United States has done and is still doing A LOT wrong; the U.S. has committed its own share of war crimes and has supported war criminals in other countries in exchange for oil and other natural resources—so yes, we can and we should be doing everything in our power to demand that America does everything it can possibly do to prevent Israel from committing any further war crimes and illegal land grabs in Palestine, but this one specific issue is about Ukraine, not Palestine.

Borrowing from another post, but it’s very apropos here:

“Tankies are not leftists. They think they are, which is both funny and sad. If they were, they wouldn't support Vladimir Putin, a far-right leader engaged in ethno-nationalist imperialism. It's your ideas and values that make you a leftist, not how much you hate the US.”

We can agree with one thing without having to agree with everything that America does.

Every enemy of America isn’t “good” just because they oppose America; and Russia has a very long history of its own war crimes and extensive human rights abuses.

[yuri-is-online]

Yo I just found your old dnd yuurollfellgrimgiddle post and here's how I imagine the dynamics:

Rollo and Yuu are in the "will they won't they" stage where they're clearly in love but something is holding them back and giddle is trying so hard to get them together. Fellow is also trying because he want giddle to be happy but honestly he just finds this whole thing funny if not slightly inconvenient.

Here's the thing though: they're already together. Rollo is just super private with his relationships and Yuu just thinks that everyone already knows about their relationship status and just thinks giddle is trying to get them some alone time to go on a date or something like a good little partner in crime.

Fellow has somehow been roped into the strangest qpr with rollyuu you've ever seen. You would swear he hates being in this party from the way he acts around his partner's but then you see Rollo and yuu sitting on a couch holding hands and fellows just. On Yuus lap. Just counting his madol and squinting at it like it will someone be more if he counts it again. He is the pathetic skrunkly straight man to Rollo and yuus comedy act and he's also secretly an entire circus right along with them.

Grim swears he's the boss. Apparently they are under poor management because the boss is easily swayed by tuna.

Giddle is the menace child and the actual boss because he's the only one everyone actually listens to. He knows this very well.

S.LKEUJBG;KDUTBHG the magic pipe... I Barbarian Yuu can have the ability to make anything a weapon just like Lancelot Beserker.

RolloYuu being already together but not mentioning it is cute but not exactly what I had in mind? Rollo is a Law Domain Cleric, and he worships Erathis the goddess of civilization, she isn't the biggest fan of barbarians who tend to live in the wilds as nomads. Rollo's attraction to and desire for Yuu is something he feels great shame for, but he finds their rage towards those who hurt the party to be holy and purifying. His goddess values community and the desire to protect it, does that not make Yuu pure? Are they not the very image of holiness when they're covered in filth and blood, voice cracked with their screams as they reach to check him over as if he isn't the healer and armored with more than some scrappy cloth. And don't even get him started on Fellow, he's little more than a common thief and huckster but there's a gentleness to the way he cares for Gidel and now Grim. He'd be a genuinely good father, and is a strong family unit, found or otherwise no matter how it looks, not also sacred to Erathis?

Fellow doesn't so much find this inconvenient as he does sad. He and Yuu are both very worried about Rollo, Yuu always has been but the longer Fellow stays with this party he "hates" the more he's able to pick up on the little things troubling his "friends." Fellow and Yuu have long talks about how best to help Rollo, what they'd like to do if they ever make it big (Fellow does the accounting, he's got a little cottage picked out that he wants to move Gidel before it's too late for him to actually go to school), and debating over strategy for the next job they agreed to take on. He doesn't fully realize when that little house he keeps thinking about has Rollo, Yuu, and Grim in it too but he sort of just rolls with it and doesn't fully think to complain about it. I'm not the biggest fan of poly stuff so I'm not the greatest with thinking about dynamics??? But in my mind they all sort of dance around each other until Rollo accepts his feelings and brings them all together. It's not a super noticeable difference to outsiders, but Gidel and Grim both see that you are more relaxed and less tense now. They immediately start playing you guys off each other when trying to get what they want.

Gidel and Grim have a secret alliance. Grim thinks he's the boss. Gidel knows that he's the boss. No critiques there.

[air--so--sweet]

Okay I already made one post about Klaus's rehab 'accessories' sold as part of a TUA prop auction and there's a lot of cool stuff but I can't post about everything, as much as I would like to, but there's one more thing I thought was worth singling out, Reginald Hargreeve's journal from season 2.

Transcription:

I have finally arrived at my destination. The journey was lengthy and arduous, far more taxing than any of my expeditions back home. Few of my fellows were prepared for the physical and emotional demands of the trip. The close quarters, the strict rations, the seemingly nonexistent passage of time. One could easily succumb to insanity or death in such a fate. I carry Abigail in my heart, her tenacious spirit and altruistic nature. She would not allow me to stay behind and perish with her, and in turn I will not allow her to die with me.

It took a ludicrously short span of time to determine my new home is a filthy, foolish and depraved place. I find it hardly worthy of saving, despite my commitment to doing so. Why should I have abandoned my Abigail for the sake of countless souls, not one of which could even hope to match her selfless grace? But I know she would admonish me for these thoughts, and tell me to recognise the value in all who reside in this despondent place.

It will take decades to see my plan to fruition. I enacted the very first step prior to embarking on my journey and now I can do little more than await the date of its engenderment. In the meantime I will commence building an identity, empire and legacy in my own right. My singular priority in the years to come is to ensure access to the resources (both material and intangible) to successfully implement the final phase. I am resolved to make Abigail proud.

There's so much interesting stuff in here. Firstly the implication that Reginald Hargreeves is not the only one from his planet on Earth. I don't think we'll learn anything about or see the other aliens, but I do wonder what they were getting up to while Reggie was doing his thing. Honestly I think it wpuld be funny for a throwaway allusion to some of them being certain public figures.

He knew before he came to Earth it needed saving. It's unclear from phrasing if he chose to do this or was tasked with it. And why him and seemingly only him if he was not the only one to travel to Earth? Or was the plan always save the world and then use hotel oblivion and the 7 bells to remake it with Abigail by his side? In season 1, having failed, did he choose to kill himself to reunite the academy to at least complete one part of his plan, having failed at the rest? A last ditch attempt to honour Abigail's memory? Hotel Oblivion was more or less off the table as soon as Ben died (which in a way makes ut funnier Klaus frequented Hotel Obsidian when he was on the streets, it literally just became a hotel and nothing more 😂).

That brings me onto the next thing - his love for Abigail. This is the most affection we've ever seen from Hargreeves I think (and the least creepy since the closest example I can think of was him creating a robot mother in his ex-girlfriend's likeness). Though saying he doesn't see why he should abandon her to save all life on earth is a tiny bit concerning. His description of Abigail as altruistic and saying that she would admonish him for not seeing the value in the lives of humans is definitely interesting (also I cant help but feel the choice of saying 'selfless grace' over 'selfness nature' or similar was intentional, not that it means anything, just a fun play on words). I saw a theory forever ago (I believe on reddit but I'm not sure, if I find it I'll edit and add credit) that in season 4 Abigail will leave Reginald when she learns what he did to bring her back and the way he describes her here it doesn't sound like she would be okay with the cruel and abusive treatment of his children followed by him sucking them of their powers and seemingly life force to revive her (though the fact Luther is alive it's possible he planned to reincarnate all of them in the new universe but y'know, maybe make Allison aware so she doesn't chop your head in half before you fully finish building your new universe). The Reginald who wrote this journal entry bears hallmarks of the one we knew, but he seems to have been somewhat tempered by Abigail. Did the decades without her cause a hardening that led to the cold, cruel and abusive man he became? A man Abigail will no longer recognise as the man she fell in love with? Based on this it doesn't seem unlikely but, as far as I recall, these entries are never seen on screen so I don't think we can really count them as canon, especially not knowing who wrote them (I suspect it was someone on the writing staff but we don't know that for certain). However, I vaguely remember seeing a few claims of a new big bad several places, I think people may have sourced this from an interview with Steve Blackman (I intentionally avoid interviews with him because he gives far too much away) which, if the main villain of the piece is not in fact Hargreeves, Abigail, the love of his life and his whole reason for his lifes work leaving him, feels like a pretty good catalyst for him to give up, and possibly even yield to anything the Umbrellas ask of him or maybe even help them?

And lastly, when writing this I couldn't help but think how Reginald's loss of Abigail mirrors several of the Umbrella's own losses. His deal with Allison involved getting Ray and her daughter back and there's been a lot of people wondering if Dave, Sissy, Harlan or even Patch could be alive in this new universe. Allison's words to Viktor before pressing the button, 'Trust me,' and the fact we didn't see her make the deal with Reginald (beyond the handshake Five saw through the doorway) has made me wonder if it didn't just involve her getting to be reunited with her lost loved ones but her siblings too (though my housemate suggested the alternative idea that she made a deal for herself and Viktor only, as he is the only other Umbrella to lose a romantic partner and child, a loss Allison is partially responsible for, having killed adult Harlan, and he's also the sibling Allison was cruelest to in season 3). Would Hargreeves have agreed to the terms of any deal if it meant getting his way? Yeah probably, but I also feel like he might have been more willing to agree to Allison's terms if they involved reuniting her and her siblings with the people they loved who they had to leave for reasons outside of their control (Ray, Sissy and Harlan) or they lost to death (Dave, Harlan (again) and Patch, and in a sense Claire). I feel like I'm giving Hargreeves too much credit but at the same time there's moments in the show that could be interpreted as him caring for the Umbrellas and I do believe he cared for human Grace and Pogo too so it's not impossible that he's capable of empathy, at least at times where it wouldn't negatively impact him or stop him from doing what he believes is right (though just to be clear - any care or love he felt does not in any way absolve him of the cruelty and abuse he subjected his children to or the fact he subjected Pogo to a life of servitude either).

It's just occurred to me that there's the whole additional layer in regards the apocalypse that Reginald was aware of it and wanted to avert it yet he was the cause of it as without his interference the Umbrellas (and other super powered children) would never have been born, never mind his treatment of them, especially Viktor, leading to them growing into the adults they were that led to their actions causing the apocalypse. I've already spent several hours and a tonne of hyperfocus writing this though when I have other real world stuff to do so I'm going to leave it here.

[hermit-searching]

TMNTposting Raphael edition (Part 2):

Part one can be found here. I really wanted to talk about my favourite little guy but I didn't feel like I had enough space to get all my thoughts down in the last post. So technically the entirety of part 2 is dedicated to 87 Raphael.

When asked who my favourite version of Raphael is, my answer is always a tie between 03 and 87 Raphael. I'm probably biased because they're the versions of Raph I grew up with, well 90s movies Raph is also in there but I really don't remember enough about the movies besides the Ninja Rap scene and I haven't rewatched it yet. The point being, 03 Raph tickles that itch for "more traditional Raphael" while 87 Raphael...I kinda just vibe with the little guy.

At face value he seems about as much of a traditional 'hot head' Raphael as Rise. Neither of them really fit into the "explosive temper" territory as 03, 12, 07 or the original Mirage comic Raph. He's a silly little dude. He likes playing dress-up, stand up comedy, and acting. Of all the versions of Raphael, he's definitely the most 'kid-like'. He's childish, he'll heckle his buddies for laughs, he even tells Shredder to go suck a lemon in the first episode. He's hilarious! But that type of comedy usually ends up getting him, and the other 87 turtles lets be real, into crossovers that horribly mischaracterize the poor kid.

As much as I loved TMNT 03, Turtles Forever is such a disservice to what TMNT 87 was, and who the 87 turtles are. 2012's second crossover with 87 also follows the TMNT 87 hate train, and it's so frustrating as a fan of most TMNT media. I get that the OG cartoon was super silly and tame compared to the others at face value, but every time someone says this I need to remind them it's 1) a cartoon from the 80s, and 2) lowkey really dark the more you think about it.

Such as:

-every time slavery is brought up and a plot for some other planet

-the entirety of the Red Sky seasons

-the humans of TMNT 87 always threatening to eat and or shoot the turtles because they're mutants

-the whole mutant hate sentiment being an allegory for the civil rights movement

But this is a post about Raphael. He's definitely still a funny little dude. But a lot of his humor stems from sarcasm and his cynicism towards the world. Raphael, is well aware humans are not fans of him or his compadres, and often sides with Donatello whenever he and Leonardo get into arguments about helping the humans. Their human friendship circle pretty much just ends with April and that's a dubious friendship at best since they're more or less a bridge towards her next scoop. None of them are really fans of Irma, Casey rarely appears, and the other human characters in the show are usually trying to turn them into kebabs until Dirk Savage the Mutant Hunter which already kind of says enough for itself.

This poor kid is honestly the bravest little dude. More often than not he'd rather run from a fight, or push Michelangelo into one for him. He's scared a lot, really giving off those youngest sibling vibes that are rare for Raphael. He's such a little scaredy cat that he his voice will sometimes sound like a squeaky toy. If Turtles Forever was correct about anything, it would be that Raphael would absolutely burst into tears meeting his Mirage counterpart.

But despite this all, Raphael is still probably the bravest version of Raphael they've ever created. Even though he'd rather scram, and read comics or watch TV. Despite knowing humans have it out for him, and will never accept him into their society. Even though he knows every time he saves them it will be a thankless job, Raphael will fight until his last breath. Like every other Raphael, he will protect the people and city he loves because that's who he is!

One of my favourite episodes in TMNT history has to be Raphael vs the Volcano because it really shows who 87 Raphael is as a person. There have already been a few posts about it recently who have all been far more coherant than I ever will be but let's do it anyways.

Raphael vs the Volcano:

-Donatello's latest invention, a health machine, malfunctions leading Raphael to believe he's unhealthy

-after panicking in the sewers a little bit, he goes back to the lair, only to overhear Michelangelo and Donatello lamenting over the loss of their dear friend.

-assuming they're talking about him, and that he only has a day to live, Raphael runs off, deciding that despite the fact the world sucks he's going to use his last day to make the world a better place

-he does a bunch of good deeds, increasing in danger, wearing a musketeer costume while the other turtles and April try to catch him

-some botanist is mad that a rich lady is taking credit for his discovery so he decides to eliminate all organic life on earth...not really important for Raphael's character except the fact he catches wind of this and takes this as his last deed before croaking.

-Raphael literally jumps into a live volcano to get the canister of anti-life juice, only escaping seconds before it erupts because the turtles arrive in time.

-the lesson of the day? don't jump into live volcanoes.

There's so much to unpack about this episode, but it'd mostly be reiterating the same things I said earlier about him. With a time limit on his life Raphael, despite the way he's been treated by the world will let go of his cynicism and crankiness to help people if it benefits everyone else. The kid shakes the moment he realizes it's been a huge misunderstanding and he's perfectly fine. Throughout the episode he's even saying things like "yeah too bad this is gonna be my last day". Like...he is CONVINCED he isn't making it to adulthood. If you think about it, it's basically what the other Raphs are as well, without the super explosive tempers. They're all just good-natured kids who have circumstances weighted against them, but they'll do whatever they can for the safety of their friends and family.

Please PLEASE give the 87 TMNT cartoon a chance if you've never seen it before. I promise it's actually good, and it has some extremely funny episodes.

[midwinterwings]

Sup fellow entities beyond mortal comprehension how y'all doing

Just documenting some updates before I go again.

Summary: will be going through the results of my latest reflection and stuff I've learnt that I think may help other struggling otherkins

So, I found that going off tumblr really helped me reflect. I fell under the trap of thinking I didn't know enough but I did know enough. I think for now I'm not planning to...absorb more info as of now - I have more than enough just to mull over and reflect on.

I've really come to understand my identity better. Being deitykin is a funny business because I feel it fills every aspect of me. Although I don't think everything I present as is "all Loki" as in the stereotype, the myths, at the same time, everything I do is just very..Loki. I initially thought I could compartmentalise deitykin stuff and focus on working through other stuff because...Well...I got a lot to work on. But I found it all kind of ties back to being deitykin. The better I feel, the more aligned, the more calm, the more I can feel I'm...just Loki. Like man. I don't really know how to explain it.

Its definitely something only I can tell. An observer wouldn't be able to tell if I'm feeling aligned at all. It's like that post I made earlier - that being the truest version of yourself is the purest form of being a (insert entity). Only you will know, really, when you feel the most (insert entity) because it probably won't align with the stereotype or match with the myths exactly...or not at all, since its not surprising a physical manifestation of that entity would be expressed in a different way to how they're portrayed or experienced in the 'spiritual realm'.

*coughs* the denial method wasn't doing me any favours huh anyway if anyone here is in denial, from someone who has a PHD in denial, just...don't. Its not going to work.

Oh, by the way. Some good news - I think it's perfectly possible to live in the mortal plane and enjoy life while acknowledging you might not be exactly mortal - as in, experiencing the same kind of humanity as most people. Apparently most people don't feel like they're otherkin haha, I don't really get it. I still have a feeling that everyone is otherkin but just hiding it - but I felt that same way about being asexual, and apparently a lot of people aren't...asexual. mind blowing.

Anyway, I've laid off diving head first into paganism. I consider myself a pagan but I live more by the values, I don't really do much. I do have an altar for Hel and I think we have a very deep connection, and she often just vibes with me, but that's it, I never really reached out to anyone, or planned to, Hel sort of found me so I've just accepted it, and my experience of her is that she is quite sassy and very nice. I plan to honour her more when I'm.. yk..less depressed and rotting in bed, for now tho we just chill together.

But apart from that, I'm not pursuing or practicing anything, and I thought before if I didn't, I would never feel aligned or content. But...that's not true. I've tried to talk to Loki to get answers but...I don't think he's gonna speak to me anytime soon, if ever. And besides, I am kind of doing it anyway...since I'm loki, and I got answers. Lol. Don't need to do anything else. So...I guess I did do what I wanted.

Not that I don't want to work with other Deities in future, I definitely do want to actually work with Hel for real, and talking with myself would be cool and I do want to worship other gods too. Because yeah. Buuuuuut....if I never get to do it, I'll die happy. Its not necessary to understand myself. Maybe in the future I will but not right now, I don't need to and I never needed to.

Anyway....what I've learnt from all this hard work:

1. You CAN live in this mortal plane, fully enjoy it, do mortal stuff, vibe as an entity in a flesh suit, AND be fully happy and content. You don't need to miss who you were or who you are spiritually. I've only got a glimpse of what it feels like, but I know it's possible because I've got a taste.

2. Keep working, going to therapy, sorting out past trauma, etc etc. Because the more you do 'deitykin unrelated work', the more you feel yourself, and therefore more YOU. As in, otherkin you as well. I'm saying deitykin because I am one but this applies to everyone. You'll just feel more comfortable as you all round.

3. Take this otherkin stuff seriously. If this isn't a phase for you, don't ignore it. This is personal experience btw - maybe it's not the same for everyone but I think it might be useful - I've found being otherkin literally makes up my entire being, body and soul. Like, everything I do is part of being Loki. If I feel calmer I feel more myself and the feeling of being Loki - myself, just existing and being - is overwhelming. "Woah I just...exist..dude. Without constant anxiety or pain. Yayyyyyyy"

Yeah I've.. been through a lot haha. Maybe if you had a relatively untraumatized life you'd be like 'huh bro what I always feel like myself' lmao. But it's not like that for me.

But if you've a lot to work through don't bury being otherkin and dismiss it as insignificant.

4. Only you will know when you're fully "insert entity". And by that I mean completely aligned, comfortable, calm, joyful, etc. It may present as completely different as what the stereotype for your species is, but only you will know. Don't let anyone tell you you're not really X because you don't X. They're dumbos. Again, I know its possible.

(Not so) funny story: I figured out I actually don't have a connection to fire all that much. I know the whole 'Loki is a fire god' thing was a mixup between Loki and Logi but he's so associated with fire I found it weird I didn't really, after reflection. I found out what I thought was fire was acrually extreme weather events, howling winds, biting cold winds, etc, sky related stuff. I also have a strong connection to flying - not with wings, but at fast speeds like stepping on wind and letting it carry me. I'm too tired to explain why this might not deviate as much as I thought- or even at all, but...yeah. its acrually not exactly completely strange for me to be this way as Loki. There's this whole sky treader/sky walker thing...haven't done enough reading into it yet but...yeahhhhh. the whole identifying with wind thing might not be as weird as I thought.

5. When in doubt, getting off tumblr may help clear things up. I went off it kind of to see (again, PHD of denial) if the feelings would go.

Nope. They got more intense. Haha, figures. The happier I am, the more I feel I'm definitely Loki. Figures...

But what I did find out my identity as a kelpie was a coping kin and I don't really identify as one if I'm not depressed. I think I'm back to identifying as a therian again, swifts and swallows and hummingbirds being what I am, since I actually not only feel a connection to the sky and wind, but I've been a bird since I can remember. My first sona when I was 5 was a bird. I always asked to play games where I would fly and I always wore wings lmao.

Looking back now it's so obvious I was a bird...but yknow depression happens and kind of makes everything stupid.

By the way I did question a lot of things, and temporarily considered I was actually Hermes and I just got confused, especially since I identified as Hermes when I was younger...but I'm definitely not Hermes lmao, I dont feel a connection with pretty much every part of him. The only reason I did identify as him was before I knew who Loki was, he was very speedy, and he was a trickster. All things in common with my identity xd.

I still identify as a snake, kind of, but physically a bird. Snake concept. I identify with the archetype of the trickster fox but only because foxes association with tricksters, I'm not really a fox.

5. Kind of 4 but speaking of 'only you know how to be your authentic self as X creature' don't take the stereotype of what your source does as gospel or more valid than hobbies or interests which deviate from your source. Sure, you can try out stuff your source does/did but you shouldn't really consider them 'WHO I SHOULD BE AND ACT BC I AM THIS'. Its more of a 'hey. Angels are associated with harps. I'm an angel, harps look kind of cool, might try playing one. OK uh. I hate harps lmfao. Never mind. "

More of inspiration and help, shouldn't be more important or valid than other hobbies...like skateboarding or something unrelated to your source xd. I mean yeah of course you didn't skateboard in the myths because they weren't invented yet. Imagine skateboarding in Heaven lmao, you'd fall right through the clouds.

6. Very cliche, but with this sort of thing the only thing you can do is follow your gut, and trust your instinct. You'll probably never be definitely sure you're X entity and that's how it'll be. But honestly? The whole 'I need definitive truth or I don't believe it' is a relatively new mindset, since I guess science is the new god now. But science constantly shifts and changes and people in 50 years could look back and go "ohhhh shit that 'ultimate truth' we found out back then was incredibly racist and inaccurate". So don't listen to those bullshitters who prattle on about "ultimate TruTh ProV E iT but hOw dO yoU really Know"

(For me the bullshitter was myself. I'm my worst bigot smh)

Of course, have a healthy bit of doubt, reflect, always be opened minded. But keep it HEALTHY and its OK to say what you are, even if you don't have 'proof'.

Yep. I'm done. Also, by the way, the reason I'm posting this stuff is 1. To document my progress because I can only keep up if I'm public and 2. To try to give other otherkins, deitykins especially, a closer look into the life of another deitykin and how they live. Lastly, some advice which I feel could help an reduce distress - basically stuff I wish other people told me.

I do NOT claim to be an expert, far from it, I'm just a guy navigating this extremely finicky business and I genuinely think my posts may help a depressed deitykin out there who may see themselves in my posts. Please use your brain lol and don't take my words as 100% ultimate truth correct and DO talk to me about it in dms or asks if you want to challenge/add stuff to my current advice! Please, i feel I'm screaming into the void here. I'm always open to some deep deitykin talk - dms, discord or VC. I'm not as active right now but I will be coming back to update and respond as needed.

Yeah, anyway, bye folks

Also I'm probably going to change my username...again...soon. to a more neutral name this time in case I find out I'm not a bird or something and it's another depression brain warp. Bye

[asexy-phoenix]

The Blue Castle chapter 11

I love this chapter so much! It's peak comedy, excellent characterization, and it's where I knew this book would be really good the first time I read it!

Uncle James thought the conversation was sagging to a rather low plane of personal gossip. He tried to elevate it by starting an abstract discussion on “the greatest happiness.” Everybody was asked to state his or her idea of “the greatest happiness.”

I do not like Uncle James. He's exactly the sort of sanctimonious know-it-all that the Stirlings are supposed to be. And also this control of the room? Asking everyone (in a way you can't really say no to) to give an opinion? No thank you.

“The greatest happiness,” said Valancy suddenly and distinctly, “is to sneeze when you want to.”

And then Valancy! I love how in one fell swoop she not only takes the wind out of Uncle James' sails and derails the conversation, she also provides some perspective on how snobby and self-righteous everyone else at the table is. It's amazing

The rest of the dinner party is also amazing. I wish this book was adapted into a movie just for this scene. It's so comedic in the best way. Montgomery has spent 10 chapters hammering home just what unbearably pretentious people the Stirling family is just to have Valancy deflate all of the in the course of a single dinner party.

“Oh, but you know we’re all dead,” said Valancy, “the whole Stirling clan. Some of us are buried and some aren’t—yet. That is the only difference.”

The black humour in this line! It reads like a straight insult but for Valancy it's a bittersweet truth - the only reason she's allowing herself this freedom is because she's a dead woman walking.

Eventually somebody did mention Barney Snaith at every Stirling function, Valancy reflected.

Of course they do, because they're the sort of people to always talk around and about the people they don't think are Good Enough for their town.

And all their talking points about Barney read exactly like all the arguments people use about those they don't like in order to other them: "I don't need proof because he's suspicious", "his name is enough reason to dislike him", and "no one would be saying such things if they weren't true."

That last one is especially ironic because the Stirlings themselves are the ones spreading these rumours! We never see anyone else in Deerwood think very badly of him, and Abel and Cissy think the world of him. Maybe how Barney is or is not treated by the non-Stirling inhabitants of Deerwood should be its own post...

Uncle Wellington’s rather lame conclusion was due to a marital glance from Aunt Wellington reminding him of what he had almost forgotten—that there were girls at the table.

Keeping in mind here that the "girls" in question are Olive and Valancy, two women in their late twenties. It really goes to show just how much single women aren't valued in this society, even by their families.

But her excitement had been too much for her. She knew, by certain unmistakable warnings, that one of her attacks of pain was coming on. It must not find her there. She rose from her chair.

Such a relatable moment! Valancy knows there's something wrong, but to show it in front of people she knows won't care or do anything to help her except for their own sake is something she won't tolerate. It's such a painful feeling, but a very relatable one for anyone with unsupportive families

The fact that Uncle Benjamin thinks an actual funny joke is something never before seen in the Stirling side of the family is an amazing little joke and goes very far towards painting a picture of these people.

And the ending is masterful. It ends with such a nice little flourish. Truly a masterpiece of a chapter and one I want to see if this is ever adapted again.

[russilton]

if ur still doing these,,,, 💌 totally ok if not!! <3

Borb, Oh man in what world would it ever be okay not to tell you how much I appreciate you. I can’t imagine it nor will I

I still remember being so excited when I saw your art show up around here for the first time because its just such a vision, I remember being hit immediately with oh YES, god I hope they stick around, I hope we have another artist, and then you started posting fic too- you’re almost too talented for one person, I’d say share with the rest of us, but I know so well just how hard you worked to get to where you are, you deserve to reap the spoils of it, and frankly, you deserve to be told MORE about how much that work is valued.

You’re also just a delightful person to know, y’know? I would value the space you hold in my online family just as much whether you posted things or not. You’re kind, generous, a fantastic listener and funny as they come. I love spending time talking with you, especially the times we’ve spent in DM’s discussing the stuff thats a bit too personal for tumblr. I don’t think I’ve told you how much it means to be able to talk with another audhd person in our space, but it really is something in feel so much about its hard to articulate. I’ve always been able to be so open and honest with you about things and I’m honoured to be a person you share in return to. Sometimes it’s just as vital to have spaces you can feel safely frustrated or scared as it is to have places to feel positive, and you’ve never made me feel anything but able to talk freely. I love our chats a lot and I wish I could be less busy so we could have more of them, because they always make me feel so… warm. Like the kind of warm that comes from feeling settled and balanced, like everything will be okay.

You are a wonderful artist, writer, and most of all person, and I’m so lucky to have you around.

[twst-hottest-takes]

I'm sorry in advance for distracting you from making a part 2 to your leech twin post (congrats on that post having over 200 notes btw ^^). However in my opinion in book 5, I just can't get over how weirdly Neige is written.

Don't get me wrong, I love how nice and friendly his character is. BUT it's weird to me that him and Vil are besties, but there's a one sided hatred in their friendship. Like whenever Vil sees Neige he's like "Omg not this guy >:(...I mean omg hi :D!" And I feel like Neige should have matched that vibe. It's weird to have Neige be so friendly to Vil, when not even Snow White was that nice to the Evil Queen.

I do understand in book 6 Vil was like "I was just being unreasonable, Neige deserves everything." However in book 7 in the jp server Vil's dream was like "Neige is my servant, and literally deserves nothing." Like huh???

It's also weird to me how long this has gone on, and NOBODY noticed??? I mean I assume Vil and Neige have been friends for a while, since Neige has given him a nickname, but please correct me if I'm wrong.

Neige is probably just being overly familiar and naive.

The nature of Vil and Neige's relationship seems to be mostly professional. I don't remember anything really stating that they're true friends so much as they just work closely pretty often. So I think Neige just feels a sense of kinship while Vil sees a rivalry.

What we do know from the story (at least as far as I can find in the EN version) is that Neige and Vil debuted together, and have been casted alongside eachother since they were kids. I think that they see each other more often than most celebrities do. Between work and events such as the SDC, Neige just tends to think that they're friends because they have spent a lot of time together--relatively speaking--and Vil has never told him otherwise. I also think that Neige is written to be overly optimistic and he tends to read the best into people's actions and intentions (kind of like Kalim). Vil is very image conscious. He probably doesn't want to start celebrity drama or look petty. So Vil won't explicitly say they are friends, and he'll at least act cordial in front of Neige and the cameras. In any case the game hasn't made it clear what the public perception of Vil and Neige's relationship is, so at the moment I would say that their dynamic is like two coworkers who are in the same department but don't see each other outside of work.

One of them thinks they are friends because they work so well together, and the other hates him just for existing. I bet Neige DOES wish he and Vil could hang out more casually as friends, but Vil makes excuses as to why that can't ever happen and the former just takes his word for it as opposed to reading the subtext. Vil describes Neige as "oblivious" here, and I honestly think that might be the case. We'll throw a bone to Vil as well though: he is an actor and I can see a majority of people not seeing past his professional appearance regarding his peer/costar.

I find it really funny actually. The only thing that would make it funnier is if they had the dwarves telling Neige, "You know that guy hates you, right?" And Neige just not willing to believe it because Vil always acts so nice around him.

We can only hope to get a deeper look into Neige's character later. (Which I would very much enjoy, because at face value I do like him.)

Thank you for the ask!

Don't worry, we'll get back to the eel discussion soon.~