#that's genuine very good coping right there

[txttletale]

Not a worm reader, but I am curious in which ways it understands trauma better than most media?

the core premise of worm is that it's set in a world where superpowers come from trauma--and they're also pretty explicitly deployed as a metaphor for that trauma. and this means that all the cape genre stuff also gets deployed around trauma--when every character builds up a persona and aesthetic and presentation around their power, they're also building themselves up around their trauma. trauma is a very life-defining thing that you have to build or rebuild yourself up around--it feels like this enormous, all-powerful force that affects everything you do. and turning trauma into literal superpowers takes that totalizing emotional experience and expresses it in a really visceral and powerful way.

every major character in worm, protagonist or antagonist, is explicitly a trauma survivor. and they're really written like that. some of them are nasty and violent, some of them are hypervigilant, some of them have control issues--but the fact that it's a whole cast of survivors allows for a really nuanced and genuine light to be shed on how trauma can affect people without either coming across as demonizing or something made under the pressure of being Good Representation. every character has coping methods, most of them bad, most of them represented again in some outsized character-defining way by their power--which is the way it feels to have coping mechanisms, it feels like you have to go around playing your Copingsona all the time, it feels like you start to feel the line blur between coping mechanisms and your 'real self' (worm plays into this a lot, it's deeply thematically concerned with identity)

and worm is often deconstructing capeshit, that's another of its primary concerns, but it also uses this to talk about trauma too. one of the central points of worm that gets hammered home again and again is that like, superheroism/supervillainy is a coping mechanism. it's not healthy to put on a costume and go outside and shoot lasers at other human beings. it's retraumatizing for everyone involved and leads mostly to downward spirals and escalation and disasters. and superheroism/villainy-as-an-unhealthy-coping mechanism is a very very compelling and interesting exploration of that in a way that most capeshit deconstruction just isn't. because again, right, it reflects these huge magnified feelings of self-blame or self-villainization or black-and-white thinking that trauma survivors often fall into. like the superhero neurotically trying to do 'good' when they cannot negotiate for themselves what 'good' is or the villain who feels rejected and ostracized by society while their attempts to reach out only ever make things worse--those are very compelling character types for exploring the theme of trauma.

so. yeah. worm, for all its flaws, is a masterclass in character work and in actually using a genre and its deconstruction for something. it tears down the superhero genre and rebuilds it as a vehicle to talk about how trauma affects people and the ways they try to cope with it and it does it really well.

[shadeswift99]

"Redemption arcs are an overdone and badly executed trope" factoid is actually just statistical error. Redemption Arcs Mythicalsausage, who spent episodes after his Xornoth possession systematically apologizing to the people he hurt and working to regain their trust while also giving them ample space to forgive him or not forgive him in their own time, as well as setting up an accountability network to keep himself from falling into evil again, is an outlier adn SHOULD be counted because oh my god it is so refreshing to see someone actually make their redemption a real arc instead of just a tacked-on excuse and a guilt trip -

[luv-ya-tomorrow]

That post about portrayals of psychiatrists + therapists being rooted in antisemitism is really interesting and makes a lot of sense, but I wish it could be talked about without the takeaway for a lot of people being "so that's where anti psychiatry comes from" + dulling certain things down to accommodate that mindset. Like saying the general consensus of people who went to therapy is that it was either positive or "just wasn't for them", and so if someone outright hates it it's probably not a lived experience + is linked to antisemitism. It doesn't work like that, a collective patient opinion on psychiatry can't exclude highly medicalised people bc we are the vast majority of long term service users.

I just want ppl to know that the mad pride/antipsych movement is based in something very real and the fact that psychotic people are more susceptible to conspiracy has always been used to deny the reality of psychiatric abuse and complicity. When u have a complex mental health diagnosis the rights u have in therapy are very different, yes including "optional" outpatient therapy. Many of us aren't allowed change therapists, they make it very difficult for us to discharge even when we're not in any way obligated to be there, many of us have had abusive therapists and when we try to report it are told that we're just paranoid + forced to stay

People with complex diagnoses, who are regularly abused mentally and physically by their health providers are always sidenotes in conversations that predominantly affect them. I'm not against therapy or medication at all but I don't think I've ever seen a sane person defend those things without throwing mad people under the bus

Psych stigma in the media is rooted in antisemitism and the psychiatric system as a whole is extremely damaging to its most medicalised patients, these 2 things can both be true. Many mental health staff blame their patients hatred/distrust of them on psych stigma while actively abusing and applying mental illness stigmas onto them. Many others use it as a blanket excuse to make themselves feel less complicit in abuse and manipulation that they're aware exists and have likely witnessed first hand. It would b good if we could have conversations about the antisemitism in psych stigma while being mindful of the whole "crazy people love conspiracies and that's why they think all psychiatrists are collectively plotting to hurt them" thing bc that's literally just us tryna talk about systemic abuse + it's really not easy to do that when u have issues w communication and reality perception

[mihai-florescu]

Reasons to stay alive:

-baizhu banner in genshin impact

-watching the ending of enstars eventually unfold

[lettuceflower]

Alright, now that the episode has officially aired and everyone has seen the iconic Akito Flying Choke Slam™, here’s a compilation I would like to call:

Season 3 Moments I am Worried About 

(aka moments that are already dramatic enough but the director is probably going to turn them up to an 11 because more intense = better, apparently. 🙄)

spoilers under the cut of course.

kyo’s dream

kagura SLAP

haru’s rage

ren shenanigans 🤪🔪

attempted stab 

the actual stab

tohru’s cliff fall

kyo and yuki FINAL FIGHT

[wanderingcrow]

jesus fucking christ it feels so weird to be Aware

[bpdbettycooper]

NEW CLIP: “Toxic”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31310330/chapters/77412089

[caramellody]

Hmm...... Nikei Yomiuri? For bingo?

haha bingo babyyyy.

the absolute SPEED that nikei came and took over my life is almost staggering and sudden i didnt expected and yet here we are

[lettuce-seize-the-day]

when he drops u off at the er and picks u up at 1 am and takes u to Wawa 🥰

[spiderman-into-the-biverse]

it's 1am and I'm emo about the puss in boots movie. again. spoilers ahead.

Perrito is actually. amazing. Genuinely the ride along Puss needed. I know that's the point of his character, but it goes beyond that.

He mentions at several occasions that he was always unwanted and insulted to the point that he has no name of his own. He mentions his past with the other pups, his abandonments and the attempted murder he was a victim of. And all these times he plays it off as a joke, making a fun contrast with how horrified puss and kitty are while listening to his story. At first it seems that Perrito is not aware of how much he was abused or the extent of his trauma so the joke can work. But the thing is,,,he IS aware, to some extent at least.

He wants to be a therapy dog. He knew how to act when Puss had his panic attack. He KNOWS what trauma is, and he knows what healing is about. He wants to become a therapy dog specifically because he has suffered so much and wants to give someone the help he never got himself. He had to do all the work alone. He found ways to cope and keep a positive outlook on life despite the pain. It doesn't mean he's completely healed, in the sense that he stills denies and deviates through humor and becomes very emotionally dependent quickly (with puss becoming his ride or die simply because he took the time to actually talk to him, even if it wasn't kindly at first), but he actually dealt with his own trauma in the best of his abilities, and that's why his friends are so amazed with him. He's a warrior.

He inspires two other deeply traumatized individuals towards a path of healing, just because he could. He's the one who brings Puss and Kitty back together by pushing Puss to unpack his commitment issues to her, and he was also the one to make Goldie realize that the family she thought she missed was right next to her, AND he was the one to say that one life was more than enough for him, bringing puss to renounce to his wish and finally accept his mortality GOOD GOD. he's the best thing that happened to Puss in a WHILE. he owes his current happiness to him. that's crazy.

[genderkoolaid]

So I read this interesting post from the MensLib subreddit, about how men's issues are always blamed on men themselves and never on society. The post itself as well as the comments are a very good read in digging in to antimasculism & the ways in which feminism has failed to critically examine men's suffering under the patriarchy. For example (all bolding by me):

Here again, the problems predominantly affecting women are addressed by changing society, while those predominantly affecting men are addressed by changing men (or by telling men to change themselves). The difference is not that one approach is right and the other wrong; they are both 'right' in the sense that they highlight genuine issues, but the approach to men's problems is more superficial. When dealing with men's problems, we focus on the immediate cause, which is usually the men's failure to cope with mental strain ("he should have gone to therapy", "he should have learned to open up more"); in contrast, when dealing with women's problems, we focus on "the cause of the cause", and try to remove the systemic social issues causing the mental strain, rather than telling the victims what they should have done to better cope with it.

I think this is a great point, and something we really need to tackle. OP also goes on to talk about self-repression, comparing girls avoiding sexual harassment and boys avoiding bullying:

Boys (and men) are notorious for repressing their emotions. They have a good reason: in boys' peer groups, a failure to control your emotions is almost as shameful as a failure to control your bladder; it is a sign of weakness, and any sign of weakness makes you a target for bullying and ridicule. So boys learn to wear a permanent mask of aloof toughness to avoid inadvertently revealing any sign of weakness or uncontrolled emotion, and many keep this habit into adulthood. It is generally well recognized that suppressing emotions is unhealthy in the long run, but it seems to me that the commonly proposed antidote is misguided: boys (or men) are told to "just open up more and be vulnerable" or to "learn how to cry", as if their reluctance to show emotions were some kind of irrational emotion-phobia, rather than a perfectly reasonable, perhaps even necessary, defense against the ridicule, contempt and loss of respect that society inflicts upon those who can't keep their emotions in check in the proper "manly" way.

It's something we don't really question in mainstream feminism. Women's issues have a societal root, and men's issues are issues that men put on themselves, and therefore men just need to fix it themselves and change.

And while yes, we all have a responsibility to unlearn harmful societal teachings, just saying "men need to fix their shit" doesn't help anyone. I've been annoyed for a while at how people will react to men suffering under the patriarchy with "UGH they need to go to therapy", as if

Needing therapy is a sign of failure or a bad thing, and someone not going to therapy when they need to is them being an asshole on purpose and not potentially a sign of them not feeling safe enough to go to therapy, feeling too ashamed, not having enough money or time, etc.

Individual men getting individual therapy will solve the societal problems of forcing boys and men to repress their emotions and view themselves as only valuable if they can perform manual labor and have a lot of sex with women. It's a problem that is only perpetuated by men themselves and if they just stopped doing that, then the problem would disappear.

No self-respecting feminist would ever react to a woman obviously suffering from the patriarchy with "ugh, she needs to go to therapy and fix herself." Yes, therapy would be helpful most likely, but that's not going to actually fix the underlying cause of her issues. So why do we, as feminists, think that "men just need to fix themselves" is an okay response to societal suffering under the patriarchy?

Who does this help? Who benefits from us ignoring these issues? Why do we assume that men's experiences under the patriarchy are so one-dimensional and that we have no responsibility for unlearning our societal biases around men and masculinity?

Someone in the comments also added this quote from the "perpetually relevant" I Am A Transwoman. I Am In The Closet. I Am Not Coming Out essay by Jen Coates:

Have you noticed, when a product is marketed in an unnecessarily gendered way, that the blame shifts depending on the gender? That a pink pen made “for women” is (and this is, of course, true) the work of idiotic cynical marketing people trying insultingly to pander to what they imagine women want? But when they make yogurt “for men” it is suddenly about how hilarious and fragile masculinity is — how men can’t eat yogurt unless their poor widdle bwains can be sure it doesn’t make them gay? #MasculinitySoFragile is aimed, with smug malice, at men—not marketers.

And then another commenter left this (and referenced bell hooks' work on men!!):

"Do you agree that we tend to approach women's problems as systemic issues, and men's problems as personal issues?" Yes, and there's even a name for this: Hyperagency. Individual men are assumed to be immune to systemic pressures because the people at the top of the hierarchies generating those pressures are also men. "And if you do agree with that, do you think this difference in approach is justified, or do you rather think it is a case of an unfair bias?" It's pretty clearly not rooted in reality. The idea that billions of ordinary men aren't beholden to the social constructs under which they were raised is just plain silly. I'd blame the empathy gap, but honestly I feel like it's more than that. Patriarchy hyper-individualizes every struggle a man faces as a way to shield itself from critique and gaslight ordinary men. The motivations there are readily apparent. However, we see the same blind spot appear even in more academic Feminist spaces (taking for granted that "Feminist" spaces on social media are hardly representative of the cutting edge of Feminist thought). bell hooks once postulated that some Feminist women are deeply afraid of acknowledging how little they understand about men, let alone taking the steps to broach that gap.

Another person explained hyperagency by saying "Every single individual man is a hyper agent who is just expected to bootstrap his way out of the patriarchy through sheer force of will."

[bitesizedgremlin]

How Arcane Characters Flirt

A/N: Hi, so, I know it’s been awhile. Sorry for not posting, I just haven’t had a lot of time to write between assignments and having to cope with life in general, y’know? Anyway, I hope these make up for my absence! lmao

Viktor

- You’d think he’d be kinda bad at flirting but surprisingly, he’s pretty good at it

- Loves playful banter and teasing

- Lots of sass

- If you quip back at him with something witty, he just about proposes on the spot

- Gets kinda flustered when you flirt back but recovers quickly and matches your energy

- Knows how to fluster you and takes full advantage of it

-You have his undivided attention whenever you’re speaking

- Jayce and whatever he has to say can wait, he’s listening to you ramble about your favourite book right now

- Asks questions so you know he’s interested

- Does a little bit of research about your favourite things whenever he has free time so that he can better contribute to the conversation next time

Jayce

- He’s a little lost but has some idea of how to flirt

- Tons upon tons of compliments

- Compliments your outfit, hair, eyes, etc.

- Talks your ear off about anything and everything

- Brags a little bit about his accomplishments to impress you

- Nothing over the top. Just casually mentions something he’s done every so often when the opportunity arises

- Makes you coffee every time you come visit the lab

- It’s become such a habit that he has it ready for you by the time you get there

Silco

- Good god

- Okay, so you’d think he’d be pretty good at flirting, right?

- W r o n g

- When he genuinely likes someone, he clams up completely

- The man is emotionally constipated and has no clue how to flirt with you

- He’ll compliment your outfit every so often but he’s kinda stiff and awkward while doing it

- Lowkey endearing tbh

- (Dw, though, he gets a lot better at it as your relationship progresses)

- Another one that will listen to you talk about anything

- You know he likes you when you’re talking about something you like and he actually takes the time to listen and takes an interest in it

Vi

- Holy shit she’s such a flirt

- Compliments and flirty jokes all the time

- So smooth about it too

- You could slip and fall off of a building and she’d make some cheesy pick up line about you falling for her after she catches you

-Gets so flustered when you flirt back

- Goes beet red

- Finds a nickname that suits you and calls you by it 24/7

Jinx

- She flirts with you all the time

- Jokes and pokes fun at you a little

- VERY careful to never makes fun of anything that actually bothers you, though

-It’s all in good fun

- She finds any excuse to touch you as long as you’re good with touch

- does anything that can be played off as platonic affection

- She’ll grab your hand and just fiddle with your fingers while you’re talking or maybe lean her head on your shoulder.

Mel

- SO smooth

- Compliments out the wazoo

- Always makes a point to compliment something about you whenever you talk to her

- She’ll buy you little things every so often just because they reminded her of you

- Paints you small pictures of things she knows you like

- Always stops to talk to you whenever she spots you in the halls

[twisted-wonderland-but-gayer]

Proposing to Floyd with a Ring Pop

This lovely image was made by @hoboyherewego and I think @traumxrei-archive may wanna see this

Gender Neutral, Cursing, Sam is your partner in Dumbassery

You and Floyd have been friends for a good while now. Ever since you arrived at NRC, you both clicked with each other and became good friends. However, it was time for the next step, a major step in any friendship: to become besties.

Best friend isn't a term to be taken lightly. It was a huge deal. Your bestie is your bestie. To go from friends to best friends means to be able to truly trust one another and be able to shit talk people together. Furthermore, it is the stage where you can dump all of your trauma on the other than sneak out to a McDonald's at 3 am to cope. The title 'best friends' is a heavier title than 'husband' or 'spouse'

You still your beating heart as you peruse around Sam's shop, looking for the perfect ring to present to Floyd. Sam noticed your serious expression.

"My my, little imp, you look so tense! What's the matter?" "Sam, I think I found… the one." At that Sam's expression beamed. "I could tell by your expression alone, so you found the one, huh? I'm sure you want something unique, just like them." You nodded, as Sam started to pull out more rings from behind the counter.

Taffy, honey, licorice, cherry, and all sorts of high-end and beautiful rings were brought to you, yet none seemed to match the one who had your heart. You sighed in defeat and shook your head, ready to give up until you felt a hand on your shoulder. Sam looked into your eyes before holding out a box. "Feast your eyes on this, surely it's exactly what you were lookin' for?" 

You snap open the lid to the small box before you. The ring inside shone so brightly it nearly left you in tears. A deep turquoise blue raspberry body, with green– almost black– accents running through it. The very top of the ring had a deep purple grape swirl in the shape of an eel. This was the one. 

You gave Sam a heartfelt hug and forked over a small fortune (0.99c) for the ring. Sam gave you his best wishes before waving you off. Now all you had to do was pop the question, but where? Where would Floyd want to be when proposed to. Knowing him, he would love it to be a public affair, especially in front of his loved ones. That's when a light bulb went off your head. You knew where to propose. Tomorrow. Tomorrow you were going to make it official.

Today. Today was the day. Today was the day it was going to be official. You held the deep purple velvet box to your chest as you approached the cafeteria. Deuce and Ace shot you a glance at the box.

"Don't you think you're taking this a little too seriously?" Deuce asks, genuinely concerned. Ace nudges him, holding in tears, "Nah, I say they aren't taking it seriously enough! You better give us a fucking speech, Yuu." You look back at your other besties, memories of the time when you proposed to them coming back into your head. "I just hope he says yes."

"Relax, it'll be fine! Me and Deuce will be watching from afar okay?" Cherry and Blueberry. Those were the rings you proposed to those idiots with. You remember it like it was yesterday. The way Ace was moved to tears and Deuce's passionate "what the actual fuck" plays through your head. You know what? They're right! You'll nail this! Floyd will definitely say yes.

You slinked off to where Floyd usually sits, ignoring Ace snickering behind you as he guides Deuce to another table. You saw Floyd chatting with his fellow dorm members. Azul was pinching the bridge of his nose at whatever Floyd was saying, Jade was listening while eating with his chopsticks politely.

When Azul opened his eyes he spotted you. "Ah, hello there Prefect. Is there something you nee–" "Floyd." You interrupted Azul and dropped to one knee dramatically right behind him. The impact of the drop made Jade's food tray rattle and his eyes widen in surprise. Floyd turned around, eyes wide, but amused. "Eeeh? What's this shrimpy~?" He purred in that beautiful voice of his. You swear you heard Ace losing his shit in the background.

"I know we haven't known each other very long, but I have feelings for you. Very strong feelings. You've been an amazing part of my life and I want to make it official." Tears rolled down your eyes as you spoke, and Floyd's eyes went wide as he saw you pull out a box. "Sh… shrimpy…" Jade looked on amused at the proposal as Azul sighed, yet he still watched.

"Will you…" you opened the small box, revealing the ring to him. Floyd let out a gasp and covered his mouth, trying his best to hide a smile. "Will you be my bestie, foreve-" "OH MY GOD YES, YES I WILL!" Floyd immediately tackled you into a hug, lifting you up and squeezing you before spinning around in circles. Ace didn't even bother to hold back his laughter anymore, and even Jade let out a chuckle.

You pulled away slightly, much to Floyd's annoyance, but that annoyance was replaced with delight when he saw you present the ring. Floyd stuck out his hand, allowing you to slip the ring onto his finger. He admired it for a moment, before immediately cronching on it. His eyes were closed and the corners of his lips were in a lazy smile as he chewed, looming like a puppy. Azul had his head in his hands, but who cares what he thinks.

Floyd hoisted you up, bridal style, and held you close to him. "Come on, Shrimpy!" Floyd laughed out. "We're gonna skip class and go celebrate!" And just like that, you and Floyd eloped, running off into the sunset together to celebrate becoming besties. Your relationship flourished as besties and was known worldwide for its seriousness. Even hundreds of years later after you both have passed, historians look on at what is the most beautiful recorded friendship ever. There are plays and songs of you two. Many have goals to be as close to someone like you and Floyd. But even in the future, the tradition of proposing to become besties was a common thing now due to you.

[chocoqtelle]

What does your future spouse find cute about you?

Pile one Pile two

Pile three Pile four

Pile one

Your future spouse finds it cute that you're always eager to learn new information. You may also try to be playful or come across as strong but they don't really see you as physically strong so they find it funny. They find it cute that you try to get aggressive with them when you don't have the physical strength to back it up. This is just playful, so if someone is trying to hurt you and finds your resistance cute/funny, then this is not the person. You have the balance of cute and "violent." Your future spouse finds this cute. You might try to play hit them and they find that specifically adorable about you. The last pile may be for you if you felt drawn to it.

Pile two

Your future spouse notices you are a bit of perfectionist and they see it as cute. They don't understand why you focus so much on little things when they see every part of you as perfect already. You over analyze things often instead of looking at the big picture. Then you over think an the big picture becomes about 70 million other small pictures that don't match up to create the big picture anymore. Basically, you over think and create a new idea in your head of things instead of focusing on the big things. They also find it cute that you have a lot of duality. You can change up from scary to cute quickly or mean to nice or something along those lines.

Pile three

Your future spouse finds it cute how you like making cute little crafts. They also like how you are super romantic. You might make them cute romantic cards or foods. You're a very creative person. They like seeing what you can come up with. They have fun trying to convince you that your work is good even though you're stubborn. They genuinely enjoy what you make even if it's childish/childlike or bad to you. They love how dedicated you are and how much passion you have. You might be an artist. They love how stubborn you are. They find most things about you cute, overall. You could like baking/cooking. DDLC may be significant, especially natsuki.

Pile four

Right off the bat, I'm getting that they love how unique you are. They like seeing how unpredictable and "crazy" you act. It's like you always keep them entertained or busy. I'm hearing that you keep their hands full. They find you crazy in a cute way. They think you being as emotional as you are is cute, especially considering how you act all crazy all the time. You're very emotional and you enjoy expressing how you feel, even if the ways you do so are seen as odd. They find it cute that you throw little "tantrums" and have little mood swings. They think it's cute that you get cranky and need naps all the time. They find you being so protective/possessive adorable as well. You may use yandere stuff to cope (like #bpdyandere or something). If you felt drawn to another pile, especially pile one then check them.

[cafedanslanuit]

i think i got an ex but i forgot him + isagi, bachira, chigiri, kunigami, sae, rin, reo & nagi

♡   —   tags/warnings: gn reader + no pronouns, a bit of drama because the topic is exes after all but it's not angst, pettiness, jealousy, slightly unhealthy coping mechanisms but nothing too tw

♡   —   a/n: aaaaa this is my first blue lock hcs, i think! i was going to post another one first but this came to me suddenly so here you go <3 hope u enjoy it!

♡   —  masterlist

ISAGI   ―   i... im sorry but he’s the type to ask you to reconsider the break up,  whether it ended badly or not, no matter who was in the wrong. you see, he has a plan on how you can really make it work this time around! it only works if you carefully follow these steps and new guidelines, of course. worse part is it actually makes sense, and you could foresee a better relationship you got along with his plan. he's pretty convincing so you might take him up on that idea. however, if you don’t, he will accept it and try his best to move on, which is focusing intensely on his training to try to keep his mind away from you.

BACHIRA   ―   tries to be friends. just because the relationship didn't work out, it doesn't mean you can't still spend time together as friends, right? friends go on dates sometimes, all friendly, of course! nothing wrong with a couple of friends staying in for a movie night, cuddling, or sharing dessert in a nice little cafe. if he takes your hand, it’s only out of security, so please don’t think he has any ulterior motives! …anyway, it takes him some time to adjust to the new reality of your relationship but still, he will try his best to support you as much as he did when he was your boyfriend. if it ended badly, he'll still try to be as friendly as possible, but a couple of snarky remarks may fall from his lips without him being able to do anything about it.

KUNIGAMI   ―   he’s very respectful about the whole ordeal. after everything is said and done, he texts you a couple of times days later, genuinely asking how you're doing and it’s very clear he cares about your answer. if you need anything from him, he will offer his help, no questions asked and no retribution needed. after all, he still cares about you, even if it didn’t work out between you too. if the relationship ended badly, he will still be very respectful towards you but try his best to avoid you. a nod and a greeting is all you will get because, soon enough, he will pretend someone is calling him and he’ll go his own way.

CHIGIRI   ―   for a good couple of months, he’s going to be very uncomfortable around you. what haunts him the most is how difficult it is to get used to the change of dynamics between the two of you; now he’s not sure on how to act or what he’s allowed or not allowed to say anymore. if it ended badly, it's very likely you'll be on the receiving end of some ill quips and snarky comments about you, hitting you just where it hurts. he'll deliver them with the most unamused face, his eyebrow slightly raising as he waits-- no, as he almost invites you to take him on the fight. and if you do, be ready to lose.

SAE   ―   the moment you decide to call it quits, he completely walks out of your life. from that moment on, you won't hear from him ever again. doesn't matter how fast you check your phone after you've said your goodbyes, you're blocked on all social media platforms, both public and private. to make things worse, your shared google photos album is gone and you're even banned on the official *team* account. hell, he’ll even report the photos of the two of you together so they’re taken down from your account too. doesn't matter if it ended on good and bad terms, only time you'll ever see him again is on a promotional ad for his soccer team on the street or something alike. if he’s asked about you on interviews, he’ll only say it’s not “relevant” and ask for the next question.

RIN   ―   like his brother, he doesn't take it well either. he's the type to go through your social media at least once a day to see if you posted anything new, and if there's any nrw information he can get from it. so far, he's learnt you've been going out clubbing more often and that you've had a pizza date with one of your friends. he recognized them because on the photo, he could see they were wearing a ring, same ring that shows up on a photo of you too circa 2015. if you have an anonymous questions social media, he miiiight ask you on anon why did you break up with him. only for fun, it's not like he truly cares about your life, evidently. all of this happens while he ignores your greetings in person, feigning he doesn't hear you. you'd never catch him yearning to have you back, and he's gonna make sure of that.

REO   ―   new year, new model, baby. the best way to get over someone is to get someone else-- at least for him. he might’ve begged you for another chance at first, but once you make him understand you’re truly done, he lets his petty side come out. a couple of days after your final talk, you will have a front-row seat to mysterious instagram stories featuring two drinks, another one with two movie tickets and, of course, a photo taken from the passenger seat of himself driving one of his fancier cars. the way his forearms flex underneath his expensive shirt really gives the photo the edge it needed. but, is he truly dating someone else? probably not. but he’s going to spend every resource he had to make you think he’s replaced you. even if this may all seem unnecesarily mean, he's also the quickest to agree if you ever want to try again. whisper sweet words close to his ear and he's back to his righteous place by your side in no time.

NAGI   ―   it’s heartbreaking how he acts like he couldn’t care less about your breakup. it seems like the heart-to-heart conversation that ended in you sobbing against his chest while he stroke your back in silence never happened, because when you see him a couple of days later, he raises a hand and greets you, just like he would any other day. to nagi, he’s taken the best decision and is acting the best in an already shitty situation, whether the breakup was amicable or not. he really doesn't want to waste his time in pettiness and resentment, especially after getting to love you for as long as he did. however, his actions may unadventerly hurt you and give you a false image on what’s going on in his heart.

[zevsurana]

going to express some loose thoughts abt sebastian vael for a minute, just talking recreationally

sebastian struggles to come to terms with how much he genuinely enjoys the violence that being a da companion typically involves. he loves fighting at hawke’s side. you only have to listen to his combat dialogue to see that; he’s simply having a good time, he’s exhilarated, he’s fiercely proud of his skills and has fun showing them off. (insert obligatory “did you see that shot?!” quote here.) as much as someone like isabela, he’s in it for the adventure and the fight. but neither is he comfortable with all this. his combat dialogue contains both gleeful condemnation of his opponents’ stupidity as he kills them and regretful prayers for their souls. there’s absolutely wildly contrasting stuff in there. his commitment to causes lets him cope with that contrast. after all, surely it’s fine and good to take pleasure in what he does, even if he admits the method is regrettable, so long as the enemy is ultimately at fault and it’s ultimately right. so long as it’s for the chantry, for starkhaven, or for hawke. (the three causes he takes up, which leave him stumbling when they come into conflict and thus lose the clarity they offer.)

i think part of the reason sebastian admires the grey wardens so much is that it’s a cause of (apparent) truly absolute clarity. the grey wardens oppose an enemy inarguable in its evil against which no moral qualm is necessary and no weapon should be held back. by nature, the wardens will go to absolutely any length to stop a blight, and feel it inherently justified. the black and whiteness of that has got to be alluring. like, it’s for similar reasons that sebastian is so drawn to justice/revenge, i think. he loves to have a clear evil to fight against! because it’s freeing, in terms of what he’s allowed to do. it’s especially freeing to be able to believe there’s higher more ultimate causes than his vows to the chantry, causes that will let him do these things he wants to do with no need for the self-directed disgust that the chantry has taught him. he says it’s “[his] right, [his] duty” to bring justice to his family’s killers. his privilege and his obligation; if he can believe that, believe he’s both entitled to this and has no moral choice but to pursue it, then he’s free from his vows

the above is from one of my favourite seb banters and i think it’s so telling and interesting. most of the rest of hawke’s companions are there because they have to be, because they care about hawke, because it’s their job, because they’re marginalised outcasts who desperately need all the allies they can get. sebastian shows up because he wants to be here. he has fun with hawke! it’s exciting! having to deal with everything that goes wrong doesn’t make him afraid or weary or jaded, it puts him directly in front of a problem that he can help hawke directly solve to do visible good. he’s never had so many opportunities to help people! the last thing i want to say here is that sebastian’s desire to do good is disingenuous. i just think that what’s equally drawing him in here is that he gets to do it out in the world, outside of the restrictions of being a chantry brother, and, well, that he gets to do it by shooting people with arrows. playing out the idea that doing good can be simple, a straightforward upfront fight between clear right and clear wrong. that straightforwardness especially enticing when he spends his six years in game so mired in indecision abt his larger moral choices. and you can see, i think, in any version of the last straw, how desperately he wants it to come down to a straightforward fight for a side he can absolutely commit to

this is meandering i’m just chattering in general. as a last point i think it’s fascinating that so much of what sebastian admires is exemplified by, of all people, anders. the grey warden, the cause-driven spirit of justice (conflated with vengeance, the very thing sebastian seeks and struggles with!), and, with his clinic, the person who more than pretty much anyone in kirkwall directly and unquestionably helps people on a day-to-day basis. i often feel like, much like most of sebastian’s party banter in general, his dialogue with anders is a bit flat and very centrally focused on the chantry issue without any room to breathe. there could’ve been more to discuss here and a more complicated relationship if sebastian’s writing wasn’t so rushed. it’s odd that sebastian’s obvious admiration and respect for grey warden hawke siblings has no consideration for anders, or that anders’ clinic and the good that can be done by mages—good that the chantry broadly prevents and would prevent here if it could—never comes up as a topic of discussion in comparison to the charitable works of the chantry that sebastian holds so dearly, or that justice doesn’t have thoughts on the revenge thing, or that sebastian doesn’t care about the blatant andrastian background of the way anders thinks, or that there’s no comparison between their past overnight changes of personality where they abandoned perceived wayward youthful self-centred ways in favour of dedication to an ideal. i just think had there been more development they could be clearly drawn parallels, with even several points of connection, making for perhaps a more compelling conclusion during the last straw