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suni-writings · 3 months

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Running out of time.

jude bellingham x fem!reader

When two people who didn't know how to love met at the perfect timing to ruin each other.

part 2 | part 3

wc: 2.3k

(content warning: angst, troubled relationships, situationship)

“I can't do this anymore.”

The words escaped her lips before even she could fully process them. It was almost a whisper — a sign of utter defeat, of how much she had struggled and how much she could not take another second of being with him. There was no amount of affection that could mend what the situation had done to her, no amount of luck that could change their fate and, most definitely, no amount of effort he could have shown at that moment that would make her change her mind. It was too late for anything.

If he had listened to her attempts of communication, if he did not dismiss her feelings, if he took her more seriously… A series of ifs that only involved things he could have done.

She had tried to stay with him as long as she could, even if she felt, from the start, that she was doomed from the second her heart beat a little faster at the thought of him. After all, who would hate themselves enough to fall for Jude Bellingham, knowing his reputation, knowing the amount of women he had around on their knees, knowing him?

She thought she knew him, she really did. At least, better than others. They had met at a strange moment in their lives, where a relationship would never fit. That was never what they wanted.

Jude had recently gotten out of a relationship, whereas she was avoiding any sort of relationship for more than a year. Each one had their motivations, and one thing was clear: no relationship was a rule.

So, she didn’t mean to when she realized she was falling for him. In fact, it was nerve-wrecking — constantly beating herself up and trying to smack some sense into her own head; anything that would bring her back to reality. And like that, without knowing her feelings were reciprocated, she created a distance between them, leaving room only for her anxiety.

As her sorrow eyes met his desperate ones, she remembered. Flashes of how they ended up like that flooding into her head without her permission.

“So,” Jude said once. They were at her place — something they used to do quite often. He didn’t like bringing attention to himself and he wasn’t one to take any woman to his place, considering how the press could be if someone saw.

She didn’t know much about Jude. All she knew was that he was a good kisser, a nice company and someone that would provide her aftercare. She couldn’t ask for much more than that.

But one thing she did know — he was confident. Not that she wasn’t, but he was cocky. And, judging by the way he nervously held his thumb, she knew something wasn’t right.

“So?” She asked, tilting her head, looking at him gently.

“I—” he gulped and let out a nervous chuckle. “Look, don’t get me wrong. I know we said it was only a casual thing, but I’ve always been a man that liked, you know, talking to more than one woman.”

She nodded, furrowing her eyebrows, trying to predict what he was going to say.

“What I want to say is—” he took a deep breath. “I don’t feel like talking to any other woman but you. I haven’t, actually, since this whole arrangement started. I know it’s only been a month, but—”

She laughed and he raised her eyebrows. She held his hand with an affection she hadn’t shown yet.

“Jude, it’s okay. I haven’t been with anyone else or even did as much as looking at anyone else ever since I’ve been with you,” she reassured him.

“Thank God.” He sighed happily, relieved.

The first and only rule was already broken.

“I can’t do this, you know. Can’t have a relationship. It’s not your fault, I just can’t do this sort of commitment at this point of my life.” Jude said while looking at her. She didn’t know where that came from.

They were peacefully taking a walk on a park close to her place. The cold breeze and the way his words somehow felt like a dagger made her shiver and cross her arms, not looking at him.

“I’ve never—” she tried to say. “We were never—”

What could she say? That they were nothing? That wasn’t the truth.

“I’ve never asked a relationship from you. I don’t even— want a relationship. We had talked about that since the beginning,” she said, furrowing her eyebrows. Did she do something that made him think otherwise?

“Let’s be honest with each other for a second.” He said and stopped her, turning her around to look at him “This whole thing is running out of our control. I can’t do this. There’s no way I can have a serious relationship, one with actual commitment. I need to stop this before it gets to a point that I’ll hurt you.”

She swallowed. Despite her best efforts to hide how that hurt, maybe she was giving it away.

She didn’t want a relationship. They were in the same page.

But she was never the one to insist. Never the one to run after someone. In fact, her entire life, all she did was running away.

That’s all she knew how to do.

So, she just accepted it.

She sighed when she heard the knock on her door, her face twisted with annoyance. For some reason, Jude decided he wanted to see her and asked her to dress up nicely — something he knew she always did, but maybe he just wanted her to create some expectation and, perhaps, not dislike him as much as she was disliking him at that moment.

When she opened the door, he was standing there with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and in a perfect tuxedo. She would’ve sighed, if it wasn’t for the last conversation they had.

“You think you can buy me flowers and what? Problem solved?” She asked, not bothering to hide how much his presence maddened her.

“No. I know you better than that,” Jude said carefully, knowing he had to think well before speaking if he wanted to still be in her life. “But I can still buy you flowers, right? I know you like peonies. And I also like to think that’s a decent way to greet a woman you’d like to take on a date.”

She scoffed and rolled her eyes.

“On a date?” She asked in disbelief. “I thought dates were too couple-ish for you.” She mocked him.

He sighed deeply.

“I was wrong, alright?” He said and run a hand through his hair. “Well, not that wrong. The situation is getting out of hand and we’re breaking every rule we made up, but you’re right, this isn’t like I’m dating you. Still, I’d love to have you on my life and for things to be… the way they were before I fucked up.”

She sighed, crossing her arms.

“My ex showed up that day and I just got nervous; I think.” He looked down. “I had never liked someone this fast, you know? I don’t know how it happened to us. But when she showed up, everything I was afraid of suddenly came back and I just— almost ruined us. Whatever this is.” He looked at her. “But you're not her, and I like you so, so fucking much. Can I, please, have the honor of a second chance?”

“It’s the only one you’re having.” She said as she grabbed the bouquet. “Nice choice of flowers.”

He opened the sweetest, most genuine smile.

“Things are so much easier when I’m with you. I wish it was always like this. That I could take you everywhere,” Jude said.

They were stargazing in her backyard, laying on the soft grass. His head was on her chest as she caressed his hair. They didn’t need to look at each other and he didn’t need to see her eyes to know how she felt — he could hear her heartbeat. It was more than enough.

He was going through a rough patch; she knew that much. And she didn’t know how to fix it, how to help him — it was out of her reach to do such a thing and he would hate if she even tried. His pride always took a tool on him, used to suffering in silence.

“I know.” She sighed softly. “I like being with you, if that helps. You’re my favorite person to talk to.”

“I hope I am,” he chuckled softly. “That’s why we’re sort of together, right?”

“Right,” she nodded. Things seemed so easier and intimate when they were like that. She felt his soft locks against her fingers and sighed once again. “But only sort of together.” She teased him.

“You’re annoying,” he joked.

“Touché.”

“Why are you so mad at me?!” Bellingham exclaimed, trying to run after her as she made her way out of the nightclub. He tried to reach for her arm and called out her name. “Stop, please.”

She stopped. Why was she still agreeing with anything he told her to do, anyway? Even when she couldn’t think straight, even when she was tipsy from all the alcohol she had consumed. Since when he became such a strong influence in her life that she would just submit to what he said? Why didn’t she leave?

Why didn’t she run away?

She was so good at that.

“I just—” She looked up, trying to find a way to put her words together and make it make sense. “I hate seeing you surrounded by so many women. And it’s so clear how much you enjoy the attention.”

“I don’t—”

“You literally left me standing to go talk to whoever that woman was.”

“You’re exaggerating and you don’t want to listen to me. Why don’t you just breathe for one second?” He asked her. “Look, I might enjoy the attention, but I wouldn’t leave you standing anywhere. I told you, when this whole thing started, that you’d never have to worry about me hitting on someone in front of you.”

And, to her, it felt like they had taken every step back. He didn’t mean for his words to come out like that, really. He knew what she had gone through in her relationships and how much anxiety she could feel from liking someone. He wanted to reassure her and was managing to do the opposite.

“Yeah, the same way we told each other this would be nothing serious,” she scoffed. “And it really seemed like you were flirting with her. How come when it’s with me, I have to chill and take a deep breathe, but when you’re feeling like that, I have to keep explaining myself?”

He opened up his mouth, but no words left. She knew he’d say she was making a fuss over nothing.

“Good night, Bellingham,” she said before leaving the club, not bothering to look back.

That same day, thousands of pictures of him in the club came out. He wasn’t doing anything, but her heart broke a little bit more from how many women surrounded him.

He didn’t bother to explain.

In fact, he had ignored her for two weeks.

That’s how they ended up here.

“You’re joking, right?” Jude asked, though he knew her enough to know if she was bluffing or not. “I just told you all my problems and— that I need a break from us. I need to focus on other aspects of my life, I can’t afford the luxury of having space for anything romantic.”

She laughed dryly.

“And what am I supposed to do, huh? Shove my feelings right up my ass just because you want me to wait for you? Or even worse, be your friend?” She didn’t mean to sound that aggressive, but the two weeks of no contact were more than enough for her anxiety to overcome every good memory they had and replace them with thoughts that he didn’t even really care.

“I’m not asking to be your friend! Jesus, you’re so complicated!” Jude exclaimed.

“I'm not complicated!” She argued back. “I’m just tired of having to put your feelings on top of mine, of prioritizing you instead of myself. I know where this ends and I won’t submit myself to this. Not to this, not to you, not with you.”

“Please,” he sounded desperate. Pathetically desperate. He held her arm. “Don’t do this to me. Wait for me. I will come back, I swear to God.”

“And put my life on hold because you want me to?” She asked, looking up at him, showing how hurt she was by the whole situation.

“What if I’m losing the love of my life over something I cannot control?” He asked her in a whisper, his brown eyes meeting hers.

It was his last attempt, that was for sure. But he forgot just how good she was at walking away. Maybe it was her fault for always finding some excuse for his attitudes or even for forgiving him, in first place. Maybe she should've walked away when she realized she was catching feelings. Maybe she shouldn’t have allowed him a second chance.

A series of maybes that only involved things she could have done.

But one thing was for sure: she wasn’t going to break herself over anyone ever again. Despite how much she liked him, despite the part of her that was willing to wait — she had been through too much to do that to herself again. She didn’t know if it was worth it, not anymore.

“I’m not the love of your life, Jude.” She said and did what she was the best at: walking away.

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obessedwithfictionalmen · 7 months

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Training

Joe Rantz X Ulbrickson!Reader

Summary: When Joe Rantz meets his coach's daughter. He develops a crush...

Warning: 18+/ blowjob/ Swearing/ Mean Joyce (she's a sweetheart, but in this, she's annoying)/ historical sexism/ use of Y/n/

Word count: 1.6k

A/n: Guys! I just watched The boys in the Boat and I'm in love with Joe Rantz. Thanks for the request! Hope you enjoy❤️

The first training for the new rowing team. Al Ulbrickson, his daughter and other people made their way to the dock. ‘’Honey, can you go upstairs? The boys need their maximum focus, it’s their first training and I don’t want them to be distracted by you.’’ Her father asked. Normally, she would’ve complained, saying it wasn’t fair. But her father was already stressed, so she nodded and went upstairs, to watch the training while she did her homework. She was studying to be a teacher, even though it wasn’t her first choice, she wanted to help design the boats, but engineering wasn’t an option for woman. ‘’Distracting, yeah, my outfit is distracting, its like a million degrees outside, try wearing a blouse!’’ she whispered, complaining about her father. She also wore pants, just like her mother. She liked skirts, but pants were better. She pulled her things out of her bag and started to work.

He was exhausted and his body hurt. The other guys on the team went away, but when he saw a light upstairs, he decided to let his curiosity win. She heard footsteps coming up, but when a man that was not her dad opened the door, she was surprised. But she recognized him, he was in class with her. ‘’Oh, sorry I thought the room was empty. ‘’ He said. ‘’Hey you’re Joe Rantz, right?’’ she asked. He looked at her, he thought that she was beautiful, and really cool for wearing pants. ‘’Yeah, but I’m sorry I don’t remember your name.’’ he said, shyly. ‘’Don’t worry, I’m Y/n’’ she extended her hand. They shook hands. His were rough, it showed that his body was tired. ‘’Rough day?’’ she asked. ‘’Yeah, what are you doing up here alone?’’ he asked. ‘’Uh, my dad is, uh, the coach’’ she mumbled. ‘’And he didn’t want me to be by the dock, he was scared that I would distract the boys.’’ She was nervous, but for no reason at all. He was really handsome, and it intimidated her, usually, she didn’t have trouble speaking with boys. But that blonde boy was making it hard to look at him in the eyes. ‘’Well, he’s right, you’re really pretty, and I would’ve been distracted.’’ He flirted. She blushed and bit her bottom lip. Just when she was going to say something, her dad comes in the office. ‘’Y/n let’s – Joe, what are you doing here?’’ he asks. ‘’Nothing coach, I, uh, I thought someone let one of the lights open, so I came to check’’ he stutters. ‘’It’s okay, dad, he and I have a class together, I know him’’ Y/n came to his rescue. ‘’Alright, go home, get some rest. Come on Y/n, I’ll bring you back to your dorm.’’ He spoke. She decided to stay on campus, she wanted her parents to have the house for themselves and she wanted the hole experience.

Weeks passed since they first met, they kept talking and they sat next to each other in class. But now, he couldn’t be fins, today was the first race and coach wanted them to be there early. Joe was at the library, when he was about to leave, a girl he went to school with stopped him. ‘’You’re Joe Rantz, I remember you, you had a huge crush on me in 4th grade’’ Joyce rambled. Joe wanted nothing more than leave, to avoid being late, but Joyce was holding him. Y/n was running in the halls to try and find the missing blonde, when she ran past the library, she finally found him, with Joyce. She entered the room, sweating from the running she just did. ‘’Finally, Joe!’’ she said, walking up to him. Joyce stared at her, judging her. ‘’Joe, we have to go, you’re almost late.’’ She panted. ‘’Hi, I’m Joyce! And this is Joe, but he’s nervous right now, so he’s not very chatty’’ she said. Y/n wanted to roll her eyes, but she managed to put a fake smile on her lips. ‘’Nice to meet you, and I know who he is. Come on’’ he was packing his stuff as Joyce walked away. ‘’By the way, did you ever lose that crush?’’ she teased as she left the room. Joe wanted to explain that she was just a friend, and an annoying fan. ‘’Y/n – ‘’ she cut him off. ‘’I don’t care, explain later, you have to go!’’ she rushed him.

He'd just won the race! He felt so happy! He’d work so hard to get there, and now he just won his first race. She felt so happy! Her dad’s team just won! They were gonna have a party to celebrate. She decided to leave to go and get ready, she had the perfect dress for the occasion. It was a baby blue long dress with small puffy short sleeves. It was simple, but really pretty, she let her long hair down and putted white heels on. 2 hours later, she stepped inside the reception room, with the loud music. She didn’t see Joe, but he saw her. The second she stepped in the room, he spotted her. Joyce was becoming a problem, not wanting to leave him. ‘’Joyce, you’re really great, but please I need space.’’ He said, trying not to sound mean. The second she left him, Joe almost ran to Y/n. She saw him walking towards her, Joyce was not with him, so she smiled. ‘’Hi!’’ he said. She had to lean in to reach his ear do they could hear the other. ‘’Hi, congratulations on the win!’’ she said. He had trouble hearing her. After they tried to yell in the other’s ear, the decided to go somewhere quiet. They went to her dorm room, she was on the first floor, the only room there. Being the Coach’s daughter had its privileges. When she shut the door, they were both standing up. ‘’Look, Y/n about earlier. – ‘’ he begun. ‘’Joe, it’s okay, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. You’re an adult, you do what you want, with who you want, as long as it doesn’t affect the team, your okay’’ she said, hiding the pain in her voice. She didn’t want him to be with Joyce. She developed a crush on him over the past weeks. He did too, he thought she was amazing, and so smart. ‘’Y/n, I don’t care about Joyce. And I don’t have a crush on her, I have a crush on you!’’ he confessed, his confession wasn’t supposed to be heard. She blushed and smile. ‘’I, uh, I’m sorry I – ‘’ she cut him off by quickly kissing him. She kissed him before her brain starts to panic. When they broke the kiss, he was red, so was she. ‘’I have a crush on you too, Joe’’ she admitted. She saw that he was not believing what just happened, so she pulled him by the tie and kissed him again. ‘’You deserve a reward for your win today’’ she whispered.

He wasn’t a virgin, but he wasn’t the most experienced person on earth. When she said those words, he thought he was going to faint. ‘’I know your stiff, and we don’t want to make it worse, sit down’’ she said, pointing her bed. He didn’t know what she was going to do, but when she straddled his lap to kiss him, he knew that she was in charge. ‘’You’re okay with this?’’ she asked him. He nodded and kissed her again. ‘’You trust me?’’ he nodded again. She felt him get hard underneath her, so when she dropped to her knees, she took his pants with her. He never got sucked before, the guys on the team said it was amazing, he was about to find out. She spat on his dick, before taking him in her mouth. He was big, but she’d done it before, so she didn’t gag. She started to bob her head at a medium pace, not wanting to torture him, but not making him cum too fast. ‘’Holy shit’’ he moaned as his hand found her hair. He felt really good, he was so excited. He just won a race, and the girl he has a crush on, feels the same thing, and is currently sucking him off. He was in heaven. She felt him jerk his hips a little, after all, he didn’t do it for a long time. And he had roommates, it was hard to jerk off. She took him further down her throat, making him moan again. ‘’Y/n, oh my, this is a-a-amazing. Shit’’ his brain was starting to malfunction. She felt him twitch in her mouth, she moaned on his dick. The vibration from the sound she just made drove him crazy. ‘’ I’m gonna cum, shit Y/n, I’m gonna – ‘’ his sentence was cut short by his orgasm. His sperm went down her throat as she swallowed. He was feeling euphoric. She got up, wiping her mouth. She smiled at him, seeing how beautiful he was.

‘’Thank you, it was amazing.’’ He praised her. She blushed and looked at him while he laid down in her bed. She went to lay next to him. ‘’I’m really proud of you, Joe Rantz’’ she whispered. ‘’And I really like you, Y/n Ulbrickson’’ he said, kissing the top of her head. ‘’When you win in Berlin, would you let me wear the gold medal?’’ she asked him. ‘’Of course I will, so does that mean you’re my girlfriend now?’’ he asked. ‘’Do you want me to be your girlfriend?’’ she asked, joy in her voice. ‘’I would love for you to be my girlfriend’’ he replied. ‘’Then yes, I’m your girlfriend, Joe.’’

#joe rantz x reader #joe rantz #callum turner x reader #callum turner imagine #callum turner #boys in the boat

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gamarancianne · 8 months

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Azriel x reader - In Between part 2

Part 1

Summary: trying to regain your confidence after your broken heart, you met someone in the same position as you and developped one of the best friendships you had ever had. A genuine and sincere friendship. But this person may be closer by other ways to you than you thought.

Warnings: still angst, alcohol in a not healthy way, heartbreak again, hypocrite Elain (kinda slander ig), Lucien being the best.

Note: well maybe a part 3 ig 😅, I was really inspired tbh. Thank you all for having loved the part 1 and shared it with me ! Ily 💗💗 and don't hesitate to ask me something or chat with me in my inbox or dm, or in the comments !

You had been a crying mess for two weeks now, sometimes you went out in a bar to drink so much you would forget even your name. That was the point, forget the constant sting in your heart and you head. Forget him, his beautiful Hazel eyes and inked tattoos on his broad and golden chest. And here we go again: the tears flooded themselves on your face. It was a day to drink today, or tonight, you didn't really have a time notion for the past two weeks: waking up at dawn or dusk, eating, crying and sleeping. You had to forget about all those beautiful things about him, you had to empty your brain and heart. You didn't want to feel something again.

As you were walking to the nearest bar, you thought about those letters elain had sent you, saying you were her dearest friend and asking if your confession went well. You knew she knew that it was you in her apartment that cursed day, but she still pretended and even was saying the complete opposite of what she had said to azriel, falsely comforting you. Was she ever was your friend at this point ? Or has she always criticised and stabbed you behind you back ? Anyway you had decided that it was way better for you to ignore her and keep living your life, if you could still call what you were living a life, without her.

You didn't even noticed when you had arrived in front the door of the bar, but you did and entered, going directly to your now favorite spit in front of the barman : the alcohol was there easier to get. You didn't see then, the redhead man who was at the exact place you had been the few days prior. How dare he steal your chair like that ? Approaching slowly you stilled and you understood that this man was surely in the same situation as you, a heartbreak, seeing his bent frame and the many empty glasses in front of him. They could only have been his because no one was seated near him, and everyone was judging him. They were all avoiding the poor man whose name you didn't know.

"I was almost mad at you for stealing my favourite seat" you stated, seating next to him as his head shot to your side wondering if you were really talking to him.

"Yes I'm talking to you"

"Ah, I'm sorry for your seat do you want it back ?" He asked, genuinely embarrassed, his cheeks flushed.

"No I'm fine here, I can speak with you ...?" You asked ?

"Lucien".

"I'm yn, and as I was saying, I can speak with you here Lucien" he nodded.

"Nice to meet you yn, but you don't wanna talk to me, don't you see all the glares everyone sends me here ?" He drank in a one shot what seemed to be whisky and stared again at his now empty glass.

"Oh gods you men !" He looked at you confused "I know what I'm doing fuck ! I'm a grown up woman and I can make my own choices ! You re the second on in two weeks who tells me what I want or not." You snapped.

"Oh I'm sorry, then stay if you want." He apologized quickly.

You asked shots to the barman and stayed silent a bit nefore you both asked in one voice "what are you here for ?". You two chuckled a bit before you said "you first".

"Well I've kinda learnt that my mate, who knows that she is my mate is dating someone else. And I feel like I'm not allowed to have just once an ounce of happiness." You were hurt for him as you heard his story that he told you with a careless demeanor. He must really be at his lowest.

"Ouch that hurts, I'm sorry man. She's a fool if you want my opinion." He smiled sadly at your answer and pointed you from his chin asking you silently your story.

"Well im heartbroken as well, my best friend encouraged me confessing to the man I love, but he rejected me, and not in a nice way. But as lucky as I am, I learnt that he is dating my best friend who is a back stabber." I emptied my glass in one drink.

"Ouch that hurts too, I'm sorry." He said echoing my words.

We spent the night drinking, and drowning ourselves in alcohol but in a more joyful way than usually.

I then went more and more at the bar to see him, but we drank less and less, leaving place to real conversations between us. It became quickly a routine, and Lucien became one of my best friends, well my only friend of the time actually. And I was one of his only friend as well. Two broken hearts healing parts of eachothzr then didn't even break. Lucien had explained to me his family problem, and how his former male best friend was a toxic man in relationships, how he had been poorly treated in his biological family, and how his actual best friend was his mate's sister so he didn't know how to approach her anymore. He came a lot in my appartment to spend time with me, he even slept in sometimes, because he couldn't face his current family. He practically had his room in your home, some of his stuff never really left.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

After 2 knocks on your door you unwillingly got off your couch and opened it letting a wild and out of breath Lucien appear in front of it.

"Lu ? Are you okay ?" That was his new nickname, he loved it, because he felt like he was loved for once in his life.

"Yes.. no ? I need you to come with me like right now ! "

"Oh okay let me get me keys and I'm coming" you trusted Lucien too much to ever doubt about him, if he needed you then you were there for him.

You left your apartment and went to the direction he indicated. After a while you panicked a little, seeing that you were going to the high lord's house.

"Lucien you know I love you but where are we going?"

"To a family dinner, I can't go alone. See, my mate's relationship got complicated and she always complains to me when I'm alone, which is all the time. So I feel like I'm just a plan b and I'm really uncomfortable when she does it. Don't worry I've told them that someone was going with me."

"I understand Lu, but at the high lord's ?" You asked sceptical.

"Well yes, because my best friend I told you about is Feyre."

"What ?" Lucien, had never told the names of his family members, and you neither, so discovering that his friend was you high lady so that you were going to see Azriel made you weak to the bones.

"Lucien ? Your mate is Elain ??"

"What, yes ? How do you know ??" He exclaimed as he stopped on his tracks.

"She is the fake friend I told you about !" You answered on the same tone.

"So it means that.."

"I am in love with Azriel... yes."

"Oh gods" you both sighed.

"Hum yn ?" He asked unsure of what to say.

"Mmh"

"Have I told you that Cassian and him were the ones to get us to the house?"

"No, no, no. Please no ! But what would we even need to be picked up ?"

"We can't winnow so it's either that or climb 10 000 stairs".

Both fearing the fast approaching dinner, the last part of the walk was silent and the air heavy with tension. You held your breath when you saw two winged big figures, Cassian and Azriel. The first one shot his head in your direction and smiled confused.

"Yn ?" Azriel stiffened as he heard your name. "What does owe us the pleasure to see you ?"

"I'm the one to go with Lu today but I didn't know it was with you...". Azriel froze completely still turning his back to you. He wasn't sure it was you but now it was certain and he couldn't face you after the mean things he had said to your face. He hadn't talked about it to anyone except Elain and he kinda regretted it now. Things had got complicated between them because after your love confession she had grown so much jealous! He couldn't bear it anymore, he was a free man, he hadn't wings for nothing! They would argue a lot more and he hated that because it triggered bad memories in him. Plus he felt a bit bad about you. You hadn't done anything to him to deserve to be treated that way, he was ashamed of his actions because he knew that, as insecure as you seemed to be, you might have been spiralling since. That wasn't him, that wasn't how he was supposed to be. When he got Elain, she changed him a lot, and he wasn't sure anymore that it was for the good. She crushed all of his efforts to keep the bad parts of him inside. He was meaner, colder, he wasn't himself. Rhys have scolded him a little about that and he had really reacted in a bad way. An evidence of what Rhys had advanced. Azriel was sure he had made you feel bad, and he didn't want it : you were a nice and smart female, a little clumsy but still beautiful and lovely. As he finally turned to you, all of his regret splashed on him when crossing your look and seeing you pained eyes. You quickly put your head down and he felt even more bad to have made lose enough confidence for you to fear to hold his gaze. Thinking about it, he didn't understand you insecurity of the beginning, before the altercation. How could you, a very beautiful female, ever doubt about yourself ?

Realisation hit him, that he would have to take you flying because it would be awkward if he took Lucien, his girlfriend's mate. He knew she was complaining to him, and he felt even sorry for the poor Lucien. But a question lingered in his mind: how did you two know eachother ? And why the fuck would Lucien bring you to a family dinner ? Were you dating ? Fear crossed his eyes for a second before regaining his composure. You couldn't be dating Lucien, it was impossible, you had just said two weeks ago that you loved him. Could you have moved that fast ? It frightened him, knowing that he had grown to like you when thinking of your shared moments at training, where you two had laughed, sometimes until crying joy tears, and regretting the mean rejection he had given you in return of something so intimate and innocent as your love and devotion for him. Damn him he had even insulted you ! He cursed himself more and more until he got out of his head when Cassian called him.

"Azriel wake up ! You take yn." He said when shooting in the sky Lucien in his arms.

You both stayed in an awkward bubble, without moving an inch, avoiding the gaze of one another, for 30 long seconds that felt like hours.

"I'm sorry" and "so how are you doing" came at the same time from him side you. You awkwardly chuckled but he stayed still so you stopped finally having the guts to look at him in the eye for more than a millisecond.

"I'm sorry." He repeated, louder this time. You froze. You didn't want that to happen. You didn't want him to face you abut what happened. It would made it real, and you still hadn't enough courage for that.

"What for ?" You asked, your voice breaking.

"You what for".

You hesitated a lot before responding. "No actually I don't. Was it for mean rejecting me without an ounce of regret or nicenessin your words ? Or maybe the fact that you destroyed my confidence? Oh no ! I know, it was for the time you mocked me in front of my friend, who is in fact your girlfriend, and a fake friend!"

"You weren't supposed to be there that time." He said, suddenly finding the floor really interesting.

"Maybe but I was, so it's the same result and the same mean words that came out of your mouth."

He knew you were right. You were completely allowed to be mad at him for the way he treated you. But it was still hard. Azriel had never been in proper relationships nor had he ever been confessed to. It wasn't a proper excuse but it still made it hard to accommodate to those things for a boy deprived of love for all his life. He didn't know how to react, so to him, the better solution was to stay silent. You sighed, disappointed and he came awkwardly closer to you to hold you and shoot in the sky, following Cassian and Lucien, long arrived and waiting for you worried (especially Lucien).

Elain was waiting for Azriel, or Lucien, no one knew, on the balcony of the House of Wind and almost fell when she saw you. You in Azriel's arms, accompanying Lucien. Azriel struggled to let you go, especially after your conversation, but the second you were out of his hold, Elain held you in a crushing hug. You rapidly got out as well, feeling uncomfortable after her hypocrisy. You gave her a sad smile and Lucien introduced you to Feyre and Rhysand who had already told you to call them by their name, and to Mor and Amren. They all welcomed you warmly except Elain and Azriel of course who both looked like ashamed puppies with their tails between their legs.

After dinner, everyone went out in the garden for a tea and you found yourself on a couch behind Lucien sat on the floor. Automatically, because it was something you were now used to do, your hands found his head and started playing with his hair. Everyone had their eyes on you, confused on your proximity but you didn't notice and kept going on braiding his hair.

"I'll do yours later I promise" Lucien said, looking at you from above.

"I hope so !". Leaving everyone even more confused now.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

When you were ready to left with Lucien, Elain caught you and asked you to have a word with her.

Lucien gave you a worried look and you nodded making him understand you were okay for now.

She led you to a private room and paced in it awkwardly. She opened her mouth twice and closed it almost instantly like she wanted to say something but didn't know where to start.

"So, you ans Azriel ? Huh"

"You have actually no right to be mad at me." She cut you off.

"Excuse me ? But I have every right to be mad at you right now ! You have treated me poorly faking to be my friend and laughing at me when you should have been comforting me !" You snapped, angry.

"Well, it's not like someone could ever treat you well."

"What, what do you mean ?"

"Look at you yn, nobody would ever really be with you. You're not ugly but you're not beautifu, you're not dumb but you're not smart, you're just.. Well you. And that's clearly not enough." She looked at you disgustingly.

"But Lucien is treating me well.." You said tears welling in your eyes.

"Don't be blind, yn, he's a man, and like Azriel he will ran to me when he'll see that you're no longer interesting. You were nice and all, you listened to me but I guess I just got bored of you, anyone would." And with that she left the room, leaving 8 pairs of eyes on you as she opened the door. They instantly approached you, Feyre apologising a thousand time for the mean behaviour of her sister and Azriel staying in the back, his eyes full of worry and apology. He was trying to make you feel like everything she had said was false, that you were so much more than that, worthy of the stars,of two shining stars. Because yes they had heard everything. Lucien made his way to the crowd of his family surrounding you and hesitated before he hugged you out of nowhere. Azriel clenched his jaw and his hands turned into fists. When Lucien released you of his grasp, your expression hadn't changed, its like you were empty, just one single tears had escaped your eye. Cassian and Azriel flew you to the ground of Velaris and the last one had kept his hand on yours to make you look at him.

"I'm sorry, for what she said. It's not one bit true."

"Don't worry, she's surely right..." You had answered your gaze falling on his hand. You had never noticed the scars an them, they were so beautiful, so textured, so unique. You eyes widened at the sight and Azriel quickly hid them behind back before keeping going.

"No she wasn't, please don't doubt yourself because of what came out of her mouth because of jealousy. Because that's what she was and still is, jealous."

"Thank you Az really." You sadly smiled at him before joining Lucien who was waiting for you.

He didn't know why, but something clicked in him seeing you walk away under the arm of Lucien and hearing again his nickname from your mouth. He thought it rolled well on your tongue and really wanted to hear it again, as soon as possible. And it tensed him a lot to know that this man who touched you, was probably sleeping at yours tonight, maybe in your bed to comfort you after this emotionally hard day. It puzzled him a lot and didn't even know why, until his shadows came to his ears and murmured repeatedly "want to be him".

Tag list:

@kalulakunundrum

#acotar #azriel x you #azriel x reader #azriel x yn #elain archeron #lucien x reader #inner circle #morrigan #nesta archeron #feyre archeron #rhysand #cassian #amren #acotar x you #acotar x reader #acotar x y/n #writing #writers on tumblr

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wonijinjin · 8 months

Text

precious

author’s note: this is quite short, but was very fun to write.

synopsis: jealousy is a serious disease and your friends definitely have it; good thing that mingyu doesn’t care.

word count: 0.6k | genre: fluff, hurt/comfort and angsty a bit | pairing: mingyu x f! reader | warnings: curse words, betrayal kind of

you went into the changing room of one of the stores in the mall, excited to try on a new top which was quite your, and mingyu’s taste aswell. you could already see his face lighting up and drool dripping from his mouth when he saw you in it; he always thought you were the most beautiful woman on the planet but you always knew how to push his buttons even further to make him a stuttering mess.

“are you here?” one of your friends asked while wandering in the hallway so she could find your booth. you shouted from within and showed all of them your outfit. “so do you like it? i think mingyu will love it!” you squealed excitedly, twirling once then twice to give the full effect of the top. “yeah it is pretty!” your friend said while you went back to change into your original clothes, knowing that you will buy the piece for sure. you couldn’t fully close the door but you didn’t mind since you knew noone would walk in on you changing, so you went ahead anyway.

“i don’t know why she wants his approval all the time! he is so demanding and always takes up her time.” you heard a voice say. “yeah, right? he is so clingy all the time, she cannot catch a break. i would go crazy if my man was like that.” your eyes widened and you slapped a hand in front of your mouth to avoid making any noise. your friends were talking about mingyu, you knew this; he was all the things they had mentioned, but they were wrong; it never annoyed you, you loved mingyu so much you would give the whole world to him, and he would do the same for you. “but i mean, who am i to judge?“ they laughed, the fact that you heard them being unrevealed, obviously. you couldn’t take if someone talked lowly about your precious boyfriend, the most adorable person ever. you pushed the door harshly, stepping outside yet again, only this time to the horror of your friends. “enough. you always talk shit about everyone, that thing isn’t new, but i won’t tolerate you bad mouthing mingyu! i heard you two just moments ago, and you are right. who are you to judge? it is my life and i am very happy with how clingy my big puppy is! at least he shows how much he cares about me. so you can stop with this behaviour because this is not what friends do!” you explained calmly then stormed off, quickly paying at the cashier’s desk.

when you got home mingyu greeted you with a big hug and many kisses all over your cheeks. “what’s up cutie? you look kind of angry.” he pouted, continuously trying to smooth the creases on your forehead. “my friends are so annoying! they talked so badly about you because you are touchy and affectionate, like what is their problem? i love you more than anyone and i wouldn’t ever trade your personality for anything! i barely trust them anymore, never thought they would pull something like this.” you huffed while hugging him, burrying your head in his shoulder. he burst out in giggles. “awww, you are adorable my sweet baby.” he tickled you, which pulled a laugh from within your chest, exactly what he wanted to achieve. “don’t listen to them. they are just jealous because they got dumped a few weeks ago by their shitty boyfriends and because we are happier than ever. give them time to calm down.” you smiled softly, holding his hand in yours. “you are so perfect, so precious, puppy.”

#wonijinjin #caratsland #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #svt imagines #seventeen fluff #mingyu x y/n #svt kim mingyu #mingyu x you #svt mingyu #mingyu x reader #seventeen kim mingyu #seventeen mingyu #kim mingyu #mingyu #svt drabbles #seventeen drabbles #svt scenarios

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jarofstyles · 5 months

Text

Sugar, Sugar 13

Hey… sorry it’s been so long angels 😭 here you go!! I hope you missed them as much as I did.

Check out our Patreon for early access and 160+ exclusive writings

Sugar Sugar masterlist

WC- 3.1k

warnings- mentions of disordered eating and bad relationship with food, body issues, fad diet mention, bad relationship with a parent, body shaming, etc

--------

“So, spill. How was it?” Delilah asked as she eyed Y/N.

“How was what?” Playing coy behind the counter, she did the initial cash wrap check as she avoided her best friend’s eyes. She knew exactly what she was talking about.

“Getting railed half to death.” She deadpanned, making Y/N choke on her laughter. “Don’t play games with me, girl. I can see your literal glow.” She paused, her eyes moving south. “And your man has a nasty habit of biting you.” He did. Y/N knew exactly where the hickey was on her collarbone, but her wrap she had on over her lacy tank top usually hid it. She was just careless this morning and didn’t think about it being on display.

“He is quite bad with that, isn’t he?” She snorted, turning to her friend with giddy light in her eyes. “Great. Better than I expected. Made me really comfortable and I spent the whole night and day.. Y’know.” Her face felt hot as she placed the cash into the register before starting up the POS and making sure everything would be right for when the day ended. “I was worried for nothing. The man is kinda unreal, if I’m being honest. I was taken care of in every way. I shouldn’t be surprised considering he’s been really good to me so far.” Brushing her hair over her shoulder, the drawer was closed and she took note of her green tea, picking it up for a sip now that it wouldn’t burn her tongue.

“It’s what you deserve.” Her friend smiled softly. “You deserve a great love like you read about in your books. Besides, I know you’re going to get it. It’s written in the stars.” She was joking, but also… not really. Delilah knew things without knowing how she knew them, and it was almost always true. “Where is he today? Are we expecting a drop in from him?”

“Actually, I don’t know.” Y/N hummed. He hadn’t replied after his initial good morning message but she wasn’t too worried about it. “He said something about stopping by the bakery. He had today off to go run errands so he’ll be dropping things off but I know I’m seeing him tomorrow. We’re going to that new pizza place.” She was excited about that. There was a flatbread she was looking forward to trying, and Harry had suggested getting two different things and splitting it. It was nice to feel comfortable eating with someone. That was one of the anxiety triggers she had to unlearn as she got older.

“I think we’re going to get a drop in.” Taking one of the baskets they used for restocks, she went towards the tumble table and began to deposit the little baggies of colorful stones and minerals into the correct cubbies. “Have you brought up that Claire woman yet?”

Y/N hadn’t, very well for a reason. She didn’t like the feeling it gave her stomach. Somehow, she was well aware she and Harry had been involved. Somehow, someway. It didn’t seem strong, as she obviously couldn’t be that close to him anymore if she’s unable to contact him but… It still wasn’t a good feeling. The woman wasn’t nice, her energy was rancid and muddy, and she obviously looked down on them for believing in their own thing. That was the exact person she tried to avoid. Y/N knew it was perhaps rude to judge solely off of one interaction, but something told her Harry wouldn’t be happy to hear about her coming in.

“Not yet.” She said sheepishly, spooning a bit of yogurt into her mouth. “I know, you don’t have to give me the eyebrow. I’m just… You know how it is. When you know it’s going to cause an issue.” Y/N didn’t think it would be with her but the idea of upsetting Harry at all wasn’t something she enjoyed. Being so new in the relationship, she wanted that honeymoon stage. It had been so lovely this far, she selfishly wanted to avoid the past and the real world from inserting themselves in her rose colored daydream with her dreamy new boyfriend.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t how life worked.

“Putting it off isn’t doing either of you any favors, Cher.” She gave her another look, hanging up a necklace back on the display. “I trust you to handle it on your own time, but do it soon. I have a feeling she isn’t done sniffing around yet.”

—--

“Hey.” A wide smile greeted her as she heard the chime of the bells on the door, seeing the man that had been on her mind. High waisted black pants with a flare at the bottom and a yellow tee shirt, he walked in with his boots clicking on the hardwood floor. Lifting his sunglasses off his face into his fluffy hair, he extended his arms to motion for her to walk into them. She did so without a question. How could she not?

Falling into his warm scent, she nuzzled her face into his neck and allowed herself to be engulfed in him. Something about them felt closer now. More intimate. Maybe she was making it up but a layer had been shed and he felt even more close to her soul. Lips pecked a few times into her hair, swaying her back and forth as her fingers curled into the hair at the nape of his neck, a relieved sigh leaving the man. “Y’alright, Sugar?”

“Mhm.” She nodded against him. “Tired. Spilled my coffee a quarter through but it’s been a bit busy today so we haven’t had the chance to get away. You win some, you lose some.” She’d rather be a little tired and making money, giving readings, all of that.

“Should have texted me.” His tongue clicked, finally getting a good look at her as she pulled out of his neck. Didn’t she realize he’d do almost anything for her? “Would have brought you some over, sweets. What good is having a boyfriend if you’re not gonna use me?” He was joking, but not really. He knew that he’d bend over backwards for the girl in his arms.

“In all honesty, I didn’t even think about it. I knew you were busy today running errands and we had a lot of walk in readings, I’ve been a little busy.” Her fingers ran through his hair again, liking how it felt between them. He always melted like a pup getting pets when she did it too, so it was a win win. “Did you get everything done that you needed?”

“I did.” He moved on swiftly. “Are you sayin’ you didn’t eat?” His brow raised, making her wince. Sometimes she forgot, but it wasn’t on purpose. It was genuine distraction. “Baby…”

“I had a yogurt and granola bar. I was planning on making some food when I got home, but I was busy. Promise.” She tried her luck at a pout which luckily seemed to break down the glare.

“Too bad.” He sighed. “M’gonna run and get you both food. I don’t like this, Sugar.” Large hands cupped her face, making her feel more delicate than she ever had been. Sometimes it felt hard to lean into that femininity of delicacy when she’d been treated as the opposite most of her life, but Harry had her falling into it so easily. “I know you’re a big girl and you can handle yourself, but it’s okay to ask me for help. I want to help you, I want to be a good boyfriend and grab your things when you’re busy. I know you’d do the same for me.” She already had. The girl had given him a whole welcome basket when he opened his own business, for fucks sake.

“I know. It’s…” Feeling slightly guilty now, she rested her hands on his wrists. “It’s a hard habit to break. I’ve been independent for years now and I don’t like to rely on people.” It was always thrown back in her face. “I’ll try harder, H. Promise.” Turning her head, she caught his palm with her lips and pressed kisses to it. That move melted him completely, leaning down to kiss her lips a few times before peeling himself away.

“Good girl. I’ll be back in a bit. Be good for me.”

Y/N hated to see him go, but she loved to watch him leave. Still buzzing from the affection, she jumped as Delilah came out of the back room fanning herself.

“That man is completely gone for you. Lord…” She shook her head. “What a guy. I’m glad he wants to take care of you, Cher. You deserve it.” Her hand squeezed her shoulder as she slipped past her.

“It has nothing to do with the fact he’s getting you lunch too?” She snickered, watching her friend shrug.

“That definitely helps.”

—--

Y/N’s good mood was squashed just 10 minutes later when a familiar face walked through the shop doors, nose wrinkling at the scent of the incense.

God, why now?

“Y/N, I’ve told you that these smoky scents are going to drive away customers.”

Yeah, that was the point. Drive away customers with impure intentions.

“Hi, Mother.” Y/N sighed, feeling her shoulders tighten as she watched the woman come closer into the shop. Her tumultuous relationship with her mother had a lot to do with the fact that Y/N reminded her of her own. They’d been extremely close, sharing their love of the spiritual world, of magic, all the things while her mom had rejected it. Y/N had been easier to bond with for her grandmother and she knew she held resentment over it for years.

She wasn’t an awful person, was the thing. She liked to support her at school, took her shopping for makeup, taught her how to do her hair and tie her shoes. She held her when she was sick, stuck up for her when she got bullied- but she didn’t realize she herself was her daughter’s first and biggest bully.

“Hello. It’s been weeks since you’ve visited me or your father.” She sent her a look. “Are you well? Do you need money? I know the shop is a bit of a hard venture to keep up…”

There it was. Her mother had always hated this shop. Hated what it stood for, what it represented. Y/N never faulted or judged someone for not believing or being connected in the things she was. It was a calling, she truly believed, whether natural or brought on by a life event. But her mother thought it to be a bit of a waste of time. Always expecting her downfall, though she didn’t think she was cruel enough to hope for it.

“No, we’re actually doing incredibly well.” It was the truth. They were making bigger profits than the years before and she was more than glad about that. They’d paid off the loan they took out and now they were working towards a possible expansion. But her mom didn’t want to hear about that. “I’m sorry I haven’t been around. I’ve been a bit busy.”

Her mom gave her a scrutinizing eye, unsure if she believed her. Y/N wasn’t usually a busy person, despite the shop. She liked a slower lifestyle and she knew that, which is why she understood the look on her face. “Have you gone back to the gym like I asked? I haven’t seen you there. I can go with you, you know. I think you’d love my trainer. He’s very dedicated.”

There it was again. Y/N felt her stomach drop, though she should have expected it. Her mother was obsessed with her weight. She’d been the one to try and get her on diets at an early age, effectively ruining her relationship with food. While she knew her mother was someone who cared about her, sometimes she cared about the wrong things a bit too much. Once Y/N had made peace with the fact that she’d always be a bigger girl, her mother had pushed back at it causing more of a rift. She wasn’t going along with her plans and fad diets anymore, and it felt like a personal insult.

“No, no. I’ve been busy with something else, actually.” With Harry. The pretty, driven, thoughtful man that had her tummy in knots and her head in the clouds.

“Well, what? I’ve sent you dozens of recipes. I doubt you’ve tried them though. It looks like you’ve put on a bit of weight in the last few weeks. I thought you were making progress.” Her frown made Y/N’s stomach hurt. She’d resigned herself into knowing she would probably never get her mother’s approval on her body, but the reminders didn’t do much to make her feel good. Accepting it didn’t mean liking it.

“I may have. I’ve been fine, though.” She sighed, running a hand through her hair. “I’ll come by for dinner next week, I promise. I just-”

The door chimed again, interrupting them both. Her stomach dropped as she saw Harry’s smiling face, something that usually would make her erupt into butterflies- but this wasn’t the introduction she wanted to make. Not quite yet.

“I’m back, sorry. There was a line.” He murmured, going behind the desk and pressing a kiss to her cheek. Her body flushed as she looked towards her mother, her eyes wide as Harry adjusted her hair for her before setting the food bag and coffee tray on the counter. “Sorry, I’ll step out of the way if you’re helping someone.”

“Who’s this?” Her mother’s interest was immediately evident.

“I’m Harry, Y/N’s boyfriend. Nice t’meet you. What’s your name?” He asked, placing a hand on his girlfriend’s back.

“H, this is my mother.” Y/N swallowed, looking between the two of them. She could see his eyes widen, reaching a hand out for her to shake. He was always so polite, so charming, but she couldn’t help but see the look on her mom’s face.

“You’re her boyfriend?” She asked, brows raised. Her voice sounded in disbelief, looking between the two of them as if something didn’t add up. “I didn’t know she even had a boyfriend.”

Thankfully she’d let him know she hadn’t exactly told her yet so he didn’t seem shocked about that, but the meeting was a little unorthodox.

His brows did furrow at her tone and she could tell he didn’t like it. But for her sake he kept a smile on his face, shaking the woman’s hand lightly. “Yes, I am. M’quite gone for her. You raised an incredible woman, Ma’am.” He spoke earnestly.

“Excuse my shock, I just didn’t realize….” She trailed off, still seeming confused. “Y/N does like her secrets, it seems. You’re very handsome. What do you do?” It was likeher mother to be nosy, sniffing out why exactly the man was around her daughter. Y/N could see that she was suspicious and it hurt her because she knew exactly why she was.

She was making sure he wasn’t using her for another reason. For money or something else, because it was hard for her to believe a man as attractive as him would be with her for pure attraction and chemistry.

“I actually own the bakery across the street.” He said easily. “Thank you for the compliment. She’s an incredible woman, so welcoming and kind. Beautiful to boot.” He meant every word, tapping the tip of her nose. “I don’t want to interrupt, though… I brought the girls lunch.”

“Oh, it’s not trouble. I was coming because my daughter forgets she has a phone.” She shot her a look. “Why don’t you come to dinner next week with her? You’re more than welcome. Her father would be more than happy to meet you.”

“If it’s alright with Y/N, I will.” He nodded, showing his loyalty immediately. Harry wouldn’t do anything that made his girl uncomfortable and he was dedicated to the cause. He was already unsure about the woman, but the next words solidified it for him.

“Alright, whatever you decide. Just make sure she doesn’t have too many sweets from your bakery, hm? It’s starting to show again.” She was joking as if it was funny, patting her daughter’s hand before stepping back. “I hope to see you next week, Harry. Call me, Y/N, we have much to discuss.”

Her mother was swift, walking out the door as quickly as she had come in. As soon as she was gone, the energy calmed and her shoulders fell, groaning low in her throat as she moved to hide her face in Harry’s chest again. He knew better than to talk, instead stroking over her hair as he let her recover from that interaction.

Internally though, his view on her mother was soured. How dare she make a comment to not only her daughter about that, but to him? A man she was dating and obviously really liked her? Did she not realize how awful it was to comment on something like that? Y/N had told him that her relationship with her mother had been a weird one but he hadn’t expected her to say something cruel like that. It didn’t even seem to register that she was being mean, she genuinely seemed to think it was funny.

“I’m sorry about that.” She sighed, pulling back from his chest. “She’s… she’s a lot. I promise she isn’t all bad, but she’s got quirks.” Her face pulled in a slight grimace, making him smile sadly at her as he caressed her warm cheek.

“That wasn’t nice to say, but I have a feeling it isn’t something you want t’unpack in the middle of a work day.” It wasn’t something he felt could be properly discussed out here anyways. “We can talk about it tomorrow, if you want…but I just have to say this one thing.” His head dipped to get closer to hers. “I don’t mind if you gain or lose weight. I don’t care about that at all so long as you’re healthy and comfortable. I’ll never restrict you from eating, never make you feel as though you’re too much. I know you struggle with it, but I’m never going to contribute to that. I’m here to support you.”

His words were genuine, eyes shining as he told her his truth. She could feel it radiating off of him and it made her want to tear up, but he didn’t give her a chance to reply to that before he smacked a kiss to her nose and pulled back to open the paper bag that had been stapled shut. “But now I want you to tell me if I did a good job choosing your meal, please. I did the caramel coffee with oat milk, iced. I remembered that bit.”

Y/N wasn’t sure where the hell Harry had come from, but she was thankful for whoever had sent him. It seemed like she needed him now more than ever.

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hotvintagepoll · 5 months

Text

Propaganda

Toshia Mori (The Bitter Tea of General Yen, Blondie Johnson)—i think Toshia Mori is a great example of someone who clearly had the makings and charisma of a star & who its easy to imagine thriving in a less white supremacist system than 20s and 30s hollywood. she began acting in silent movies in the late 20s, and in 1932 was selected as a "WAMPAS Baby Star" which was an annual promotion of promising up-and-coming young actresses by the Western Association of Motion Picture Advertisers, becoming the first Asian woman to do so. previous baby stars included Clara Bow, Joan Crawford, and Joan Blondell, and another 1932 honoree was Ginger Rogers. this likely led to her most sizeable role in The Bitter Tea of General Yen (unfortunately a movie with a lot of orientalism going on and white actors in yellowface). she was well received but the studio seemed to lose interest in her career and she largely continued to get bit parts; her last appearance was in a Charlie Chan movie in 1937. she deserved better!!

Veronica Lake (I Married a Witch, Sullivan's Travels)—her look is so iconic they used her as a visual model for jessica rabbit in who framed roger rabbit and a bunch of other femme fatale types in cartoons and live action alike. i didnt think i liked women and then i saw her in sullivans travels and said gee i hope this doesnt awaken anything in me! every role ive seen her in she absolutely oozes an aura of "i know people would ask me to step on them" and her EYES bro every photo ive looked at for this submission its like shes piercing thru time and space to judge me <3

This is round 4 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Toshia Mori:

Veronica Lake:

Her HAIR, her FIGURE, her VOICE, the way she wore LEATHER AND SANG SONGS FOR NO REASON.

I don't believe there's a person on earth who can watch Veronica Lake in I Married A Witch and not be struck by how gorgeous she is. She had that youthful wonder about her that almost every Hollywood starlet was trying to achieve. Her hairstyle (peekaboo bangs) became an iconic Hollywood style after she popularized it, and made her signature look all the more suggestive. Also, witches are tumblrs favorite!

ICONIC hair sweep

The US government literally begged her to change her hairstyle because it was TOO HOT to handle and women who copied it were getting their hair caught in machinery

Her hairstyle was so iconic and popular that the war department had to come out with a PSA instructing lady ironworkers with ways they could pin their hair up to avoid it getting bound in machinery. [https://veteranlife.com/military-history/veronica-lake/]

She played a lot of femme fatale roles but my favorite is Sullivan’s Travels opposite Joel McRea, which is a comedy. She became famous for her hair style at the time—she wore it long and parted on one side so it would fall over half her face in a very sexy way. They called it a peek-a-boo I think. You’ve definitely seen Bugs Bunny dressed up like her, so I think if she’s being honored in such a way she’s very cool.

look at her

she's GORGEOUS in her little witch outfits that she wore for promos and also in the oversized coats and pajamas she wore throughout the movie...she's got RANGE

My Grandpa supposedly dated her in high school, he drove her to school in his car every day. This is legend in the family.

She has gorgeous hair, has got the smouldering look over the shoulder down PAT, and is just drop-dead gorgeous too!

Schizophrenic icon, popularized the peekaboo hairdo long before Jessica Rabbit

She’s just so prettyyyyy

So much hot in such a tiny package. She was no more than 5 feet tall, and some reports claim as small as 4'9"

If you picture a femme fatale in your head, almost certainly Veronica Lake had a hand in shaping the image you think of. She came to embody the look of the noir leading lady as well as the sound and the performance. Certified Noir Baddie.

#veronica lake #toshia mori #hotvintagepoll #fuck that old woman #ladies 4

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ceilidho · 8 months

Note

1800s mail order bride [price/reader] for da wip game

i haven't yet gotten around to writing more of this fic (it's listed as complete on ao3 because i feel like it leaves off at a good place so if i never get back around to it, im fine with that, but the door is still open enough for me to return.

without having given this too much thought, this is what i would probably write if i were to make this into a proper fic (huge spoilers below because i'm basically outlining the entire plot):

after the scene in the sheriff's office, Price whisks you off to the local judge to be wed; this is where you come back to yourself and start protesting and denying that you're the girl he's waiting for

Price then says something about how "if you're not her, then who are you?" and brutally interrogates you about your identity (he thinks you're lying and he's just trying to make the truth come out) but you're still too nervous to say anything about who you are and where you're from because, remember, you just left a city where you killed someone. you have no idea how much information has been disseminated or whether you're a wanted woman. at one point you make up a lie about being "elizabeth smith from Rhode Island" and he challenges that by saying "we'll contact your kin then and have them confirm" (essentially saying you're under house arrest with him / in the town until someone related to "elizabeth smith" telegrams from R.I. or sends a letter)

you never actually give in and just go "fine, i'm the woman you've been corresponding with" but Price sees all these holes in your story as evidence that you are her and he's convinced that "your guilty heart brought you here to me anyway." There's basically nothing you can do to avoid being married off to him.

you're basically shell shocked the entire time at the court house and then on the trip back to the inn to collect your belongings to bring to Price's house.

the first night at his place is rough. you're basically like a feral cat the whole time - still insisting that he's got the wrong woman, indignant and furious when he thinks he has the right to put his hands on you and touch you (Price just lifts his brow at that because like...you are his wife now so really it's a moot point), and locking yourself in his bedroom the second the two of you are home.

Price finds all of this very amusing. he has stuff to do around the property anyway, so he lets you lock yourself in the room for a couple hours.

eventually he does just unlock the door with a key he has on top of the doorframe (you thought you were safe in there but oops nope). there's some conversation about "wifely duties" that has you screaming and spitting at him before he threatens to put you over his knee again, so you clam up and get a bit teary, which makes Price soften. (good excuse for me to write a soft but firm version of Price shushing you and drawing you into his embrace)

anyway, the middle of this story would be all slow, tender sex and you having to get used to being Price's wife while always keeping one eye out for any news of there being a warrant out for your arrest. you get spooked once by a man in town asking about any newcomers (maybe you're in a shop and you overhear him ask the cashier while you're behind a shelf) and try to flee, but Price tracks you down and he's sooooo mad when the two of you get home. like sex is rough that night.

events i'd want to have happen:

someone comes sniffing around town for you (bounty hunter maybe) and you try running away (unsuccessful, but you're mildly reassured when you hear the man has left town by the next day because everyone thinks of you as Price's wife so no one thinks to mention that a woman arrived in town the other week)

there's an incident on a farm on the outskirts of town that Price has to go to - he makes you promise to be good and you spend the next two days wrestling with whether to take the opportunity to leave or not. you end up staying. Price comes back and he's so happy to see his little wife still home after a few rough days of work. probably the first time he makes you sit on his face to reward you.

your luck finally comes to an end when the same bounty hunter finally comes back (your marriage announcement may have been in the local paper and somehow word got to him about a girl matching the description of the woman he's after) and somehow manages to trap you. the climax of this fic is that he manages to get you on a horse speeding away from town and you're heartbroken/terrified/desperate for John but your situation seems hopeless)

John catches up with the two of you and he, uh....deals with the bounty hunter that took his wife from him. before he "deals" with him, the bounty hunter does basically reveal who you actually are, and there's a moment where you see that John believes him. he looks at you in a strange way for just a second and there's this glint in his eye that says "yeah I either suspected this or this is new information to me but now everything makes sense" and your heart just stops because it's the first time where you actually don't want him to know that you aren't the woman that was supposed to be his wife

then he kills the bounty hunter and takes you home :) and he never ever acknowledges what the other man said. because you're his wife and that's all that matters.

suuupppperrrr tender loving sex that night LMAO probably out in wilderness because you're far outside of town and the two of you are exhausted (plus, John just buried this man's body so you had to diverge from the route home for a bit)

at some point in time, a woman does show up at your doorstep claiming to be John's wife. you slam the door on her face.

ok now i wanna write this again FUCKDJGHSJGVSD

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badasbebi · 8 months

Text

not my fault ➛ 2/2

read part one

✦ pairing: bada lee x fem!reader

✦ summary: discovering that a cute girl you saw at your college orientation is your roommate, you become eager to get to know her. however, things quickly go awry when she turns out to be much more difficult to get along with than you could've imagined and abruptly leaves you in the dust. fueled by your terrible experiences with her and rumors about her dating habits, you swear to stay away from her at all costs. will you be able to keep your promise?

✦ genre/au: fluff, smut, my poor attempt at a rom-com, college!au, enemies to lovers, (very slight) roommates to lovers

✦ word count: 9.8k (im still embarrassed)

✦ warnings: isn't proofread. MDNI!!!! top!bada, top!reader for 2 seconds, oral sex (reader receiving), fingering (reader receiving), bada is a giver, one of my first attempts at smut so please bear with me lmao.

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At this point, the school needed to compensate you for how much time you were spending watching and judging their sports teams. Or, maybe you should be paying rent, with how often you're staying here. The thought alone makes you cringe. Tuition was enough.

Your legs are crossed, and a notebook rests on your lap as you sit in the bleachers, observing the dance team once again. This time, you're not waiting for Lusher. You're here for Bada, who said she could only meet with you after practice today. You're just grateful you're indoors today, and away from volant objects.

It's been a few days since the interview, and you've managed to avoid seeing her in person as much as possible. You've been communicating solely through text, not even bothering to exchange words in class. You know it's childish, but you don’t have the vigor to deal with her head-on. Besides, this way, you can focus on your part of the project, and not Bada's... everything.

You scan the gym floor and pinpoint her. Today, she's wearing a short-sleeved shirt and another pair of cargo pants, driving you to deliberate about how many she owns. If you looked that good in everything, did it matter?

You shake your head, averting your eyes before she notices your staring. You're not even sure what the purpose of your being here is. You probably could've waited to come closer to the end of practice. it was an admittedly nice way to occupy your time while you waited, you assure yourself.

The team is working on a new routine, one that involves a lot of acrobatics. They're running through their routine for the third time. Each time, they seem to get better, their movements more fluid and precise. You watch, fascinated, as Bada twists and turns, her limbs moving in a way that seems almost impossible. She's incredible. She's probably the best dancer on the team, not that you would ever tell her that.

After what feels like an eternity, the music comes to an end, and the team collapses to the ground, panting and sweaty. You're a little out of breath just watching them.

"Good job, guys," Bada says, her voice ringing through the large gym.

"Thanks," someone calls out, her tone laced with exhaustion.

"Let's call it a day," she says.

There's a collective sigh of relief as the team gathers their things and starts to leave. A few people linger, chatting with each other. Bada is one of them, talking to a group of girls. You try not to stare, but it's hard not to notice the way she laughs and smiles around them.

You look away, darting your eyes around the room, when someone catches your eye. Once you realize who it is, your blood runs cold. How did you not notice her before? Probably because of Bada. Damn that woman.

Aiki is on the opposite side of the gym, standing near the door. She's talking to someone and hasn't seemed to notice you yet.

The last thing you need right now is to run into Aiki. That encounter last year was awkward enough. You have no interest in rehashing the whole mess, especially with Bada so nearby.

You snatch your stuff, flying down the bleachers at a speed you did not realize you were capable of. You take the steps two at a time, adrenaline is burning in your veins, nearly tripping over yourself in the process.

You finally reach the bottom, and without a second thought, duck under the bleachers, hiding yourself from view like a criminal hiding from the police.

Your heart is racing, and you lean against a pole, trying to catch your breath. You peek out and see Aiki still hasn't noticed you. She's chatting animatedly with whoever she's talking to and doesn't seem concerned about finding you.

You breathe a sigh of relief, and slide down to the ground. You rest your head against the pole, and close your eyes, willing your heart rate to slow down. This was ridiculous. You needed to exercise more.

"What the hell, y/n?" a familiar voice calls from behind you. You scream, jumping up and banging your head on the metal.

"Ouch," you hiss, rubbing the tender spot.

"What are you doing?" Bada asks, her tone equal parts amusement and annoyance.

"Uh, nothing," you say, trying to hide your embarrassment.

"This is so weird," she states.

"Sorry," you mutter, ducking your head.

"Are you okay?" she asks, her tone softening.

"I'm fine," you say, brushing her off.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," you sigh.

She takes a step towards you. "I can help you. I'm a nurse's aid, remember?" she points out, a playful smile tugging at her lips.

"No, it's fine, I'm okay."

"Okay, well, if you're not gonna tell me what's going on, can you come out from under there, at least?"

"Uh—"

"Y/n?!" Lusher's voice rings out, running up to the bleachers.

"Shit," you whisper. You did not need two witnesses present for this mortifying experience.

"What are you doing?" Lusher says, peering over Bada's shoulder.

"Nothing," you call, trying to sound casual.

"Why are you hiding under the bleachers right now?"

"I'm not," you lie, wincing.

"Y/n," Bada says, shaking her head.

"Shhh," you hush.

"You're ridiculous," she chuckles.

"Both of you, come!" you hiss.

"Is she serious right now?" Lusher whispers to Bada.

"Apparently," she sighs.

"Come on," you say, reaching out and grabbing Bada's wrist.

You pull her towards you, and she stumbles, losing her balance and landing on top of you. The both of you yelp in surprise, and a laugh escapes your mouth. It's surprisingly comfortable. You resist the urge to pull her closer.

"Sorry," Bada apologizes, her face inches from yours.

"It's okay," you say, your breath catching.

You're suddenly aware of the warmth of her body and the closeness of her lips.

"Uh, we should probably get up," she murmurs.

"Right," you say, nodding, but neither of you move.

"Hello?! Are you about to have sex?!" Lusher's annoyed voice snaps you out of your trance.

"No! uh, let's get up. Seriously," you say, gently pushing Bada off.

“Good idea,” she agrees.

Bada stands up, and holds out her hand, helping you up.

"Thanks," you mumble, feeling your face grow hot.

"Y/n, seriously, what is going on?" Lusher demands, her patience wearing thin.

You step toward her, glaring. "When did Aiki join the dance team, huh? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Lusher's mouth widens into an 'o'. She sticks her finger up, gearing up to defend herself.

"Um, she didn’t,” Bada cuts in. "She's just helping us choreograph some of our routines."

"Oh," you say.

"She’s really good, so I thought it’d be fun to collaborate with her,” Bada explains.

"So, she's not a member of the dance team," Lusher clarifies, giving you a pointed look.

"Nope," Bada says.

"Oh, well, uh, good," you say, a mixture of confusion and relief swirling within you.

"So, why are you asking about Aiki?" Bada asks, rubbing the back of her neck.

"She's my ex."

"What?" Bada's mouth drops.

"Yeah,” you admit, woefully.

"Really?"

"It's a long story," you sigh.

"Huh," Bada says, looking stunned.

"So, that's why you were hiding under the bleachers?" Lusher inquires.

"Yeah. I didn't feel like talking to her."

Bada still looks dumbfounded. She's staring at you, and it's starting to make you nervous.

"Well, that’s silly! But I'm glad you're not in danger, or whatever," Lusher says.

"No. I was,” you deadpan.

Lusher snorts and shakes her head. "Anyway, I know you're here for Bada. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I'll leave you guys be," she says, wiggling her eyebrows, out of Bada's sight.

You hiss at her, imagining strangulation.

"Bye, Bada. Bye, y/n. I'll see you at home," she calls, sauntering away.

You shoot her a middle finger.

"Bye," Bada says with a small wave.

She turns to face you, and she stares at you, hard, her eyes unreadable. Your stomach churns with anxiety.

"Nothing," she says, a small smile forming on her face.

"What are you smiling at?"

"I just didn't know that Aiki was your ex-girlfriend."

"There's a lot you don't know about me," you retort.

"True," she says, the smile never leaving her face.

"Anyway, can we get going now? We have work to do," you say, trying to get the conversation back on track.

"Right," she says. "Lead the way."

You walk side by side, the silence between you thick and uncomfortable.

"So," she starts, clearing her throat. "I was thinking...would you mind stopping somewhere and getting something to eat?"

You stop walking.

"Why? Are you hungry?" you ask, suspicious.

"Yeah, a little," she says, rubbing her stomach.

"What are you craving?"

"Anything is fine," she says, a little too quickly.

"Bada, just tell me," you groan, annoyed.

"Okay, fine. I've been wanting to try this new Korean BBQ place that opened a few blocks away."

You bite the inside of your cheek. Of course, she wants to go to a restaurant. You're not sure why you were expecting anything else.

"Um, I guess we could do that," you say, hesitantly.

"Great!"

You follow her as she leads you out of the gym and into the bright, warm afternoon sun.

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You find yourself sitting in the booth across from Bada, staring at a plate of food.

"What's wrong?" Bada asks, noticing your apprehension.

"Nothing," you reply, forcing a smile.

"Okay," she says, not sounding convinced.

You pick up a piece of meat and put it on your plate. The smell is amazing, and your mouth waters.

"Are you going to eat?" Bada asks, gesturing towards your untouched food.

"Yeah," you reply, picking up a piece and bringing it to your lips.

"So, um, how have you been?" she asks, breaking the silence.

"Fine," you say, taking a bite.

"That's good."

"Yeah," you say, chewing.

"And, uh, how's your part of project going?"

"It's going," you respond, swallowing.

"Cool."

"Mhm," you hum, not bothering to elaborate.

You hear a sigh. "Do you always have to be like this?" she asks, exasperated.

You huff. "Like what?"

"Cold. Distant," she says.

"Excuse me?" you snap.

"You're always so closed off. It's frustrating."

You drop your chopsticks. "Are you messing with me right now? You're the one that's been standoffish since I've met you. And what was with that whole moving out situation that you still haven't given me an explanation for, by the way?"

Her face softens. "Look, I'm sorry about all that. I was just...going through something."

"What were you going through?"

She averts her gaze, and fidgets with her chopsticks.

"Hey, it's okay, you don't have to tell me," you say, feeling bad for pushing her.

She bites her lip, and your eyes are drawn to the movement.

"I don't mind telling you, but can it wait until later? I don't know if it's the right time."

You nod, and return to eating, a little more at ease than before.

"So, you and Aiki?" she says, after a beat.

You freeze. You were hoping that she had forgotten about that.

"Yep," you say, your voice tight.

"How did it happen?"

You shrug. "It was just a short high school fling. But, you know, first lesbian heartbreak and all."

She snorts. "I get that."

"Really?" you respond, leaning forward. You're too nosy to pass up on this.

"Yeah," she says, a little sheepish.

"Who was it? Do I know them?"

"I'm not telling you."

"Is it Doyeon?" you guess, grinning.

Bada nearly chokes on her food. "What?! No. She's just...no," she sputters.

"Tatter?"

Bada squeals, shoving her head in her hands. "Ew, no! She's like a sister to me."

"Hm," you say, tapping your chin.

She glares at you. "It's none of your business."

You shrug. "I'm just surprised, that's all," you say, nonchalant.

"Why?"

"Well," you begin, resting your elbows on the table. "You're like, a total heartthrob. Everyone's crazy about you."

She lets out a bark of laughter. "No, I'm not," she says, dismissive.

"You are," you insist. "Do you know the vile things I've heard women say about you? I'm surprised you don't need bodyguards. You have literal fangirls."

She rolls her eyes. "Okay, maybe a few girls like me. But, they're not crazy."

"I beg to differ."

"Whatever," she laughs.

"All I'm saying is that I'm surprised you've gotten your heartbroken by women before. It seems like you'd be able to get any girl you wanted, and keep them."

Her face grows solemn. "It doesn't always work like that," she says.

You're taken aback. Her eyes are a storm, dark and intense.

"I guess you're right," you agree, trying to break the tension.

She clears her throat. "Let's just eat."

You're confused, and a little worried, but you're also starving.

"Right," you say.

The rest of the meal is silent, the two of you not making eye contact.

After a few minutes, she finally speaks up.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Yes," you reply, grateful to be leaving.

"Let's get going, then," she says, grabbing her card.

You slide your backpack across the seat, toward your body. "I'll pay," you offer, pulling your wallet out.

"No, it's fine," she insists, reaching across the table and swatting your hand away.

"Bada," you warn, a little annoyed.

"It's just one meal, and I asked you to come here with me. It's only fair that I pay."

You open your mouth to protest, but the look on her face stops you.

"Fine," you grumble, shoving your wallet inside your bag.

"Thank you," she says, giving you a small smile.

She gets up, and heads for the door. You follow her lead, getting up from the table, uneasiness settling in your stomach.

The two of you make your way to the cash register, where the hostess greets her enthusiastically. She hands her the bill, and Bada hands her the credit card, and the hostess takes it, grazing Bada's hand with a coy smile. You glance at one of the tables nearby, contemplating how much of a hassle it'd be to gouge your eyes out with chopsticks. You decide against it, knowing that you'd probably be banned from this delicious restaurant and would never be able to return. You sigh, depressed, and when you focus on Bada again, you're caught off guard by what you witness. Bada thanks the hostess and turns to leave, not bothering to wait for the receipt. The hostess frowns and calls out a goodbye, which is met with Bada's disinterested wave. You trail behind her, raising an eyebrow at her, and she ignores your questioning look.

Rather, Bada grabs your wrist and guides you outside. You try not to notice the way her palm feels against yours. Yet, you are unable to suppress the smirk that emerges on your face.

Once you're outside, she drops her hand, and you're reminded of the discomfort that occurred in the restaurant.

You squint. The sun has started to set, casting a glow over the city. The streets are crowded, the hustle and bustle of people passing by.

"Give me your bag," Bada demands, holding out her hand.

You gape at her, then clutch your backpack, surveying your surroundings for any law enforcement. "Sorry, what?"

"Your bag. Give it to me." she repeats, her hand still extended.

"Are you trying to rob me?" you ask, baffled.

"What? No. Why would I do that?" she clarifies, incredulous. "I'm walking you home, and we have a long way to go. Your bag is gonna get heavy. So, give it to me." she explains, wiggling her fingers.

"Oh," you say, feeling foolish. You loosen your grip on your bag. "No need for that! I can take care of myself."

She gives you an impatient look. "Do you have to argue with me about everything? Just let me walk with you, please."

"Fine," you relent, sliding the backpack off your shoulder and handing it to her.

"Thank you," she sighs.

She takes a step closer to you, and to your surprise, laces her free arm through yours.

"Lead the way," she instructs, motioning ahead.

You stare at the place where your arms are interlocked. "What are you doing?" you question, alarmed.

"What does it look like? I'm walking with you."

"Uh, I guess," you say, your heart racing.

"Ready?"

"Sure" you mutter, defeated.

"Let's go."

You begin walking, your arms intertwined. Your pulse is erratic, and the closeness of her is sending heat waves throughout your body. You're sure she can feel the beating of your heart.

You walk in silence, the sounds of the city filling the air.

"I'm sorry if I got a little weird back there," Bada says, breaking the silence.

"It's okay."

"No, it's not. I didn't mean to make things awkward. I just...get a little sensitive when it comes to talking about my love life."

"Really?"

"Yeah," she admits, sighing.

"Well, that's understandable. It's hard talking about failed relationships."

"Exactly," she says, turning to look at you. "But, thank you for understanding."

You feel the weight of her stare, and a blush rises to your cheeks. What was going on with you right now?

"Don't mention it."

"Y/n," she says, her voice low.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for going to dinner with me."

"Of course," you say, your words caught in your throat.

"I had a really good time."

You can't think of a response, her brown eyes drawing you in.

"Me too," you manage.

Her mouth curves into a grin.

"Can I do something?" she whispers.

"Um, yeah, sure."

She leans in, and adjusts a strand of hair that's fallen onto your face. Your breathing quickens. You didn't even realize that a strand was in front of your face. Her eyes are locked onto yours, and her hand lingers on the side of your face.

"Better," she says, her face centimeters away from yours.

You swallow. "I- uh- thank you."

She pulls away, and a sense of disappointment settles within you.

"It was nothing," she says, her eyes twinkling.

"Okay," you reply, unable to form a coherent sentence.

You're both silent again, and the rest of the walk passes in a blur. Before you know it, you're at your doorstep.

"This is it," you say, turning to her.

"This is your apartment?"

"Yep," you confirm, reaching into your pocket for your keys.

"Alright, cool," she says, tossing you your backpack.

You catch it, the straps hitting you in the face. Please stop this madness, you think. At least you caught it. Maybe there's still hope for you.

"Thank you," you say, slinging it onto your back.

"Of course," she flashes you a bright smile, and your heart skips a beat. “I had a great time.”

“Me too,” you confess, your palms sweaty. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow," she echoes, her voice soft.

You're not sure what else to say, so you give her a small wave and head for the door.

"Goodnight, y/n," she calls gently, as you reach for the handle. You turn to look at her, and her eyes are shining, a smile tugging at the corner of your lips.

"Goodnight, Bada," you respond, giving her a smile.

She nods, and with one final glance, she turns and walks away. You watch her retreating figure, and let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding.

"What the hell was that?" you whisper, your head spinning.

You enter your apartment. It's dark. Lusher must not be home, which makes you want to cry. You wanted to talk to her about today. You throw yourself onto the couch. You replay the evening's events in your head, and as you do, you feel an incoming headache.

You sigh, and close your eyes. Tonight was weird. Really, really weird.

Your phone buzzes, and you grab it from the coffee table. You have one new message.

You unlock your phone, and check the message. It's from Bada.

Bada: hey, did you get inside your apartment alright?

Y/N: yes

Bada: good. i was just making sure.

Y/N: thanks.

Bada: no problem. :)

You stare at the screen, and quickly type out a response.

Y/N: thanks for tonight. i had a really great time.

Bada: me too.

Bada: we should do it again sometime!

Bada: I mean, other than our meet-ups for the project.

This is when you remember for the first time since the end of dinner that the two of you are doing a project together. That was the original reason for meeting.

You: yeah, definitely.

Bada: awesome!

Bada: sweet dreams <3

Y/N: night.

You throw your phone down. Your head is reeling. As you lay there, the sound of your heartbeat in your ears, the memory of her fingers brushing your cheek plays in your mind. The warmth of her touch. The softness. And her eyes. Her eyes.

You let out a sigh, and rub your temples.

"Get a hold of yourself," you mumble.

But, no matter how much you try, you can't stop the butterflies in your stomach, or the warmth in your chest. Something shifted today. Maybe it shifted from the moment you began working on this project together. With every meeting, Bada proved to you that she's not the stuck-up, self-centered person you thought she was. No. She's smart. And she's kind. So, so kind. Gentle. Talented. Nothing aligned with the image of her that you created in your head.

As much as you've tried to push these feelings away, deny them, repress them, they keep coming back. And with the way she's acting, the way she's been treating you, it feels like she may feel the same. But, what if you're wrong?

The thought scares you. If she didn't reciprocate, the embarrassment would be insurmountable. It would ruin everything. Your seemingly newfound friendship. The project. Regardless of how great tonight was, you cannot help but think back to that day in the locker rooms, and how dismayed she sounded at the thought of asking you out. Even if her feelings have shifted and she finds you attractive now, what if that's all that it is? Attraction. Lust. The thought of it makes you nauseous. You're not sure you could survive her using you and then discarding you, like some kind of toy, like the other ones.

No, it's better to remain friends. Just friends. Besides, you're sure that these feelings will dissipate soon. They have to. Right? Maybe you'd just steer clear of her for a little while to be safe. It'll give her the space she needs to forget about this, and give you the time to bury these stupid feelings.

You decide to text her.

Y/N: hey, i'm really tired. can we reschedule tomorrow's study session for next week?

She replies almost immediately.

Bada: yeah, no problem. are you okay?

Y/N: yes

Y/N: just had a long day.

Bada: alright, take care.

Y/N: will do.

Bada: oh, and one more thing.

Y/N: ?

Bada: thank you again.

Bada: i mean it.

Bada: and i'm glad that we're friends.

Your stomach flutters. Friends. Yes. This is exactly what you need.

Bada: goodnight.

Y/N: sweet dreams.

You toss your phone onto the couch, and get up. You're exhausted. Physically. Emotionally. You need to get to bed. You trudge to the bathroom, and wash up. Then, you change, and climb into bed. As you drift off to sleep, a million thoughts are swirling through your mind. But, the one that lingers is the image of her eyes, warm and bright, staring at you.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

You're lying in bed, your laptop open, the blue light washing over you. The room is silent, save for the sounds of your keyboard, the tapping of keys. It's late. Really late. But, you can't sleep. Every time you close your eyes, you see her. Those brown, inviting eyes.

You groan and sit up. You need a distraction. You can't use your phone, because you'd have to face the dozens of unread texts from Bada that have been collecting dust for the past couple weeks. You haven't talked to her at all since that night, even going as far as to skip the class that you have with her. It seems like she's given up trying to reach you, as today is the first day you've gone without a message from her. Thank God.

You pull your laptop onto your lap, and open a random YouTube video.

It's a funny skit. A couple. They're arguing. About something mundane, trivial. You find yourself laughing. For a moment, you forget about her. But, the feeling doesn't last. Because, after the skit is over, the next video starts.

It's a music video. Two women. They're singing. It's a love song. You can't focus on the lyrics, the images, the sound. All you can see is her. Those eyes.

You slam the laptop shut and throw it onto the bed.

"Dammit," you mutter.

You can't think straight. Everything is clouded by her. By Bada. You're losing your mind. You need air.

You stand and walk to the window. You look outside. It's quiet. There are few cars, no people. Just the lights, casting their glow upon the buildings.

You rest your head against the window, and sigh. You've never felt this way before. It's maddening. Infuriating. But, you can't help it.

You hear your door open, and Lusher steps into the room.

"Hey," she greets.

"Hi."

"What are you doing up?"

"Couldn't sleep," you reply, not turning around.

Lusher leans against the wall, studying you. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Y/n," she sighs, "You know that you can tell me anything."

"I know."

"So, what's going on?"

"I don't know," you shrug.

She walks towards you and stands beside you.

"Come on," she insists, "Tell me."

"It's stupid," you grumble, shaking your head.

"I'll be the judge of that."

"Fine," you relent.

"Let's hear it," she presses.

"Well," you start, "It's about Bada."

Lusher smirks. "I knew it."

"You knew what?"

"That you had a crush on her."

"Wait, what?" you splutter, turning to face her.

"You're so obvious," she accuses, crossing her arms.

"No, I'm not!"

"Oh, please," she laughs, "Even when you claimed to hate her it was written all over your face. I mean, why else would you be so upset over your roommate of one day leaving you? Because you had a humongous crush on her and got embarrassed when she seemingly rejected you!"

"That's not it at all," you retort. "It was the principle! I mean, filing a complaint against me is crazy."

"Y/n," she says, gently. "You have a crush. It's normal."

"Yeah, well, I'm not sure if the feelings are reciprocated."

"You know, the day that you guys got paired up for that project, she sent me a text asking me what kind of coffee you liked. We'd never even texted before that," she reveals.

You blink in disbelief. "What?"

"Yeah," she chuckles. "Apparently, she was trying to get on your good side and impress you."

"Wow," you mumble.

"But, I guess I ruined it for her," she jokes.

"Why'd you tell her about the coffee?"

"Because, I'm your friend. And I could tell that you liked her. A lot."

"I don't know," you say, shaking your head. "Maybe it doesn't mean anything. She's a flirt, and she's nice to everyone."

"You're not wrong. But, y/n, you gotta trust your instincts. If you feel something, go for it."

"Maybe," you respond, not sure if you're convinced.

"Just don't sit here and dwell on it," she says, wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

"Can we get out of here?" you ask, still wanting a distraction.

"Sure. Where to?"

"Anywhere. The library. A bar. A club. Just, not here."

"Alright," she says, grinning. "Let's go."

–

Lusher brings you to a house party. You're not in the mood, but she manages to convince you to come. After a couple of drinks, you're feeling a bit more relaxed. The music is loud, and the crowd is rowdy, but you don't mind. It's a welcome distraction from your thoughts.

"There she is," Lusher shouts, pointing to a familiar figure.

It's Bada. Her hair is tied into a ponytail, and she’s wearing a short-sleeved patterned button-down shirt, black baggy pants. She looks good, as always. She's dancing with a group of friends. There are a couple women standing suspiciously close to her, giving her heart eyes.

"Do you want to say hi?" Lusher asks, nudging you.

"No," you yell over the noise, "She looks like she's having fun. We should leave her alone."

She gives you a pitiful look and sighs. "If you say so."

You take another sip of your drink. You watch her as she dances, her hips swaying, her arms above her head. She looks happy. Carefree. You can't help but admire her, even now, in this house full of people. She's beautiful. Ethereal. The way the light catches her hair, her skin. She's captivating.

"Excuse me," a voice interrupts your train of thought.

You turn around. It's Aiki.

It's settled. Someone has invoked a curse on you, and you're doomed to suffer incessant encounters with unattainable women who have broken your heart until the end of time.

"Hey, Aiki," you greet, attempting to hide your discomfort.

"Hey," she responds, her gaze flickering to Lusher. "And who's this?"

"I'm Lusher, y/n's best friend. We went to school together. I'm also on the dance team."

"Oh, right! The famous Lusher," she exclaims, offering her hand. "Nice to finally meet you. I've heard a lot about you."

"Same," she nods, taking her hand.

Aiki's attention returns to you. "Y/n, I didn't expect to see you here," she notes, sipping her beer.

"Yeah, well, here I am," you laugh awkwardly.

"You should come dance with us," she invites, motioning towards the crowd.

"No, thanks. I'm not much of a dancer."

"Really? You looked pretty good when we danced together," she comments, smiling.

You laugh. "Trust me, that was a one-time thing."

"Aw, come on. I'd love to see you dance again," she insists.

"No, really. It's not happening," you say, holding up your hands.

"Oh, c'mon. Just one dance," she begs, taking a step closer.

You mull this over, tapping your fingers against your cup. "Well, maybe just one."

"Yes!" she cheers, grabbing your hand.

You glance at Lusher, who offers an encouraging thumbs-up.

Aiki leads you to the dance floor, and the two of you join the throng of sweaty bodies. She begins to dance, her hips gyrating, her arms raised above her head.

"C'mon," she urges, "Join me."

You hesitate, not wanting to embarrass yourself, but her enthusiasm is infectious.

You begin to move, swaying your hips to the beat.

She steps closer, her hand finding its way to your waist. "That's it," she praises, her voice low and seductive.

Your pulse quickens. You can't help but be reminded of the last time the two of you were this close, the night when she asked you out.

Her grip on your waist tightens, pulling you closer. Your breath hitches, and your eyes lock.

"Y/n," she whispers, her lips inches from yours.

Your heart hammers in your chest. You feel her fingers trailing along your side, her body pressed against yours. The music drowns out all rational thought. All that matters is her, the heat of her touch, the sound of her voice. Her breath is warm against your cheek. Her hand caresses your neck, drawing you closer. Your eyes flutter closed, and—

A heavy weight comes crashing into the two of you, sending the both of you stumbling backward.

"Watch it," you snap, looking over to see the culprit.

And it's Bada, of course.

She's holding a red cup, staring at the two of you with an unreadable expression.

"Sorry," she mutters, taking a step back.

You glance at Aiki, who looks like she's bordering on being concussed, and then settle your gaze back on Bada.

"Bada? Where the hell did you come from?" you question, rubbing your forehead.

Her jaw clenches. "Nowhere."

You let out a short, dry, disbelieving snort. “That explains a bunch.”

"Sorry," she repeats. "I tripped."

"Right," you say, not believing her.

"Where have you been?" she asks, taking a small sip of her drink. You study her face, noticing the pink flush on her cheeks. You'd assume it was the alcohol, but she doesn't seem drunk.

"Around," you answer, crossing your arms.

"Well, I didn't see you at class," she points out, taking another sip.

"I was busy," you lie, not wanting to give her the satisfaction.

"So busy you couldn't even give me a heads up?"

"Yup," you reply, popping the p.

"What about our project?"

"Is that all you care about?" you retaliate.

She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth, sucking in a breath. "No, but-"

"Um," Aiki pipes up, lifting herself off of the floor. "Am I interrupting something?"

"No!" you say.

"Yes," Bada responds at the same time, venom laced through her voice.

"Bada," you growl, glaring at her. "Stop."

"Well, are you not done?"

"Done with what?"

"Her," she spits.

"Alright, well," Aiki interjects, holding up her hands. "I'm done! I'm gonna head out, Y/N. I'll catch you later...or not." Aiki says, fast-walking away with a limp.

"Bada," you whisper, anger bubbling up in your throat.

"What?" she says, her gaze piercing.

"Are you kidding me?"

"What, did I ruin your date?"

"Date?" you scoff, shaking your head. "That wasn't a date."

"Uh-huh, right," she says, sarcasm dripping from her voice.

"What is wrong with you?"

"Me?" she scoffs, stepping forward.

"Yes, you!"

"You're the one who's being difficult here, y/n. Not me." she retorts, setting her drink down on a nearby table.

"How am I being difficult? All I've done is try and do the project. I've put up with all your shit."

"Forget about the stupid project! This is about us."

"There is no us," you shout, jabbing your finger into her chest.

"I know you don't mean that."

"You're unbelievable," you grumble, pushing past her, up the stairs.

"Don't walk away from me," she demands, chasing after you.

"Leave me alone, Bada."

"No," she protests, reaching for your wrist.

You stop, turning around. "I told you to stop," you yell, shoving her away.

"I'm not going anywhere," she warns, her eyes narrowed.

"God," you groan, massaging your temples. "You're impossible."

"And you're being a coward," she snaps.

"Coward?"

"You're avoiding me," she states, her voice steady and calm.

"Maybe I am," you fire back.

"Why?"

"Because, you're exhausting," you explain, throwing your hands up.

"Exhausting," she echoes.

"Yes, exhausting," you affirm. "I can't stand you, Bada. You're arrogant and conceited and-"

"You want me," she interjects, her voice barely above a whisper.

"W-what?"

"You. Want. Me," she repeats, each word slow and deliberate.

"I-I..." you stammer, rendered mute. You were not prepared for this level of confrontation. This is not how you expected tonight to go in the slightest. You couldn't tell Bada you wanted her, even if you did. And, now, you know you do. More than anything. You've been wanting her for so long. But it's not like she wants you back in the same way.

"Tell me that I'm wrong."

"Bada, I—"

"Tell me that I'm wrong, and I'll never bring it up again."

You open your mouth to speak, but the words die on your tongue.

"See," she laughs, though there's no humor behind it.

"Shut up," you murmur, massaging your forehead.

"No," she defies, stepping closer.

"You're so annoying," you complain, turning around.

She follows you. "Where are you going?"

"I don't know," you answer truthfully, stomping further up the staircase.

"Y/n," she pleads, grabbing your arm. "Just tell me that I'm wrong."

"Bada, let it go."

"Tell me," she begs.

You turn around, infuriated, your veins pulsating. "What is the point of this? Do you just want me to tell you that I want you so that you can feel good about yourself?"

"The point of it is that I like you, y/n! I really, really, like you. And you keep pushing me away! Why?" She exclaims, throwing her hands up.

You can feel the tears pricking at the corners of your eyes, but you're too angry to care. Bada's confession should give you some solace, but it only makes the ache in your chest stronger. You need to get out of here. Get away from her. You can't deal with this anymore. You can't take it. She's too much. She doesn't understand. She doesn't know how badly it'd wound you if things didn't work out. If she ended up hurting you. Or worse, forgetting about you.

"Because," you pinch the bridge of your nose, exhaling, attempting to calm yourself down. “I don't want to get hurt."

“Y/n," she says gently, stepping forward.

"Don't," you warn.

"I would never hurt you," she reassures, her hand cupping your cheek.

You stare into her eyes, searching for any trace of dishonesty, but find none.

"I would never intentionally hurt you," she corrects, a sad smile on her face.

"Bada," you mumble, her hand warm on your skin.

"I know you're scared," she continues, her voice soft and soothing. "But I promise, I'll take care of you."

"Bada, you don't understand," you argue, stepping back.

"Then help me understand."

"I..." you trail off, unsure of how to continue. "I like you. I like you a lot. But I just cant stop thinking about that whole roommate situation. And...I heard you say something in the locker rooms one day when I was visiting Lusher."

Her eyebrows furrow. "What'd you hear?"

"You said that you didn't want to me. At all," you explain, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt.

"Oh, y/n," she sighs. "That's not true."

"What?"

"I've liked you for a long time. Probably since I first saw you. That's actually why I switched rooms. I didn't think you'd be into me, and I was afraid of rejection, so I ran away," she confesses, her gaze cast downward.

"Bada," you breathe, shocked.

"But I'm done being scared. And I'm tired of running," she declares, looking back up.

"What does that mean?"

"It means that I'm not going anywhere," she promises, taking your hands.

"Bada, are you sure? This is a lot."

"I've never been more sure about anything," she states, her tone firm. "But are you going to stop running too?"

"Bada, I—"

"Please, y/n. Take a chance on me." she requests, squeezing your hands.

Was the risk worth it? Were you willing to put your heart on the line? Would she keep her promise and not break your heart? The questions flood your mind, threatening to overwhelm you. But, when you look into her eyes, the answer is a clear yes. Because, really, now that everything was on the table, when did she ever give you reason to doubt her? When did she not deliver? Maybe it was time for you to have some faith in her, just like she has faith in you, right now.

You exhale. "Okay," you relent.

"You will?"

"Yes,” you nod, vigorously. “Let’s give this a try."

"Yay!" she exclaims, pulling you into a hug. You laugh, wrapping your arms around her waist.

"I'm sorry I've been such a jerk. I felt so awkward and shy around you, I didn't know what to do" she apologizes, burying her face in the crook of your neck.

"It's okay," you say, running your hands along her back.

She removes herself from the embrace, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. She studies your face, her eyes roaming over your features.

"Can I kiss you?" she questions, her thumb caressing your cheek.

"I guess so," you shrug, feigning nonchalance with a sly smile on your face. Deep down, you've been waiting for this moment since the day the two of you met. You've dreamed about what it would feel like, how her lips would taste. You've thought about it while lying awake in bed at night, while doing homework. It's a constant, nagging thought. Her face draws closer to yours, and your eyelids flutter closed. You feel her breath fan across your lips. Your heart beats rapidly. Then, finally, her lips meet yours, and everything else fades away. It's like nothing you've ever experienced before. It's tender and passionate, sweet and perfect. You wrap your arms around her neck, deepening the kiss. As she holds you in her arms, your fears disappear, and a new feeling takes their place. A feeling of warmth, safety, happiness—more than that. When you part, the both of you are breathing heavily. Her eyes are wide, filled with wonder. You're sure your expression mirrors hers. Neither of you say a word. Instead, you just stand there, drinking in each other's presence. You're not sure how long you stay like that.

Eventually, she lets out a soft chuckle, breaking the silence. "Was that okay?" she asks, biting her lip.

"Yes," you confirm. "More than okay."

"Good," she beams, pecking your lips. "Want to go back downstairs?" she offers.

"Actually, can we go to my place? Lusher will be gone," You suggest, hoping she catches the hint. You can't help but glance at her lips. You're eager to have her all to yourself. To be alone with her. To do whatever the two of you want. If the blush creeping up her cheeks is any indication, she knows exactly what you're insinuating. She nods, and the two of you descend the stairs, hands intertwined. She stops to grab her jacket, and once the two of you make it outside, the crisp, night air hits you. It's cool, and refreshing. As the two of you begin your walk to the apartment, she leans in, her shoulder brushing against yours. The contact sends a shiver down your spine. You can't believe how close the two of you are. How intimate it feels. It's a welcome change from the distance you've forced upon the two of you for the past few weeks. A small part of you is afraid. But a larger, stronger part of you is excited. Excited to explore this newfound intimacy, and whatever may lie ahead. And for the first time in a while, you feel genuine hope.

"Here," she offers, draping her jacket over your shoulders.

"Thank you," you murmur, wrapping it around yourself.

The two of you hop in Bada's car, the engine purring to life.

"You cold?" she asks, turning the heater on.

"Yeah, a little," you admit, rubbing your hands together.

"Here," she offers, taking your hands in hers. You look down, watching as she runs her thumbs over your knuckles. "Better?"

"You're cheesy," you tease, rolling your eyes. Though secretly, her touch does make you feel warmer. Better. It makes your heart swell with affection, and the corners of your mouth turn up. It's like her presence is melting the ice surrounding your heart.

"I like cheesy," she counters, grinning.

"I'm lactose intolerant," you retort.

"Oh, no," she pouts, feigning concern. "Guess I'll have to come up with some other way to make you happy."

"I can think of a few things," you flirt, giving her a coy smile.

She just smiles, and the two of you fall into a comfortable silence. After what feels like an eternity, the two of you pull up, and Bada turns the car off. She hops out, making her way to the passenger side door, opens it, and extends her hand. You take it, and allow her to lead the way. The two of you climb the steps to the apartment, tension growing thick. Once you reach the front door, she lets go of your hand. You immediately miss the contact, and your heart rate picks up. You unlock the door, and step inside. She follows behind you, closing the door and locking it for you.

"It's freezing," Bada says.

"Yeah, sorry," you say, closing the door. "The heating's broken. It should be fixed by tomorrow, though."

"It's fine," she assures, wrapping her arms around you from behind.

You lean back, savoring her warmth. You've fantasized about this more than you'd like to admit.

"Bedroom?" she whispers, kissing your temple.

You nod, tugging her through the apartment and into your bedroom. Bada shuts the door, and you turn to her, staring into her eyes.

"Hi," you whisper, placing a hand on her chest.

"Hi," she whispers back, placing her hand over yours.

You lean in, brushing your lips against hers. She reciprocates, capturing your lips with hers. Her hands slide down to your hips, pulling you closer.

You tilt your head, deepening the kiss. Your hands move to her hair, tugging lightly.

She moans into your mouth, her grip tightening on your hips.

You pull back, gazing into her eyes.

"You're so pretty," she murmers, her thumbs rubbing circles into your hips.

"So are you," you counter, smiling.

She leans in, pressing her forehead to yours. The two of you stay like that for a moment, drinking each other in. Finally, you pull back, grabbing her hand. You shove her onto the bed, and then fall on top of her, your legs straddling her hips.

"Hey," she giggles, wrapping her arms around your waist.

"Hey," you reply, a smile on your face.

"You're so annoying," she says, leaning in.

"And yet, you're here," you point out.

She ignores this, deciding to press a kiss to your lips, her fingers moving up your back. You sigh into her mouth, your body relaxing against hers. She slides her tongue into your mouth, eliciting a moan from you. Her hands move to your ass, squeezing. You roll your hips, grinding against her. She groans, her grip on your ass tightening. She sits up, her lips never leaving yours. She scoots back on the bed, her legs spread, and you sit between them, still straddling her.

"You're such a tease," she says, her voice husky.

"Oh, yeah?" you ask, smirking. "How's this for a tease?"

You slip your hand under her shirt, tracing circles on her stomach, her abs. You can tell she's not wearing a bra.

"I don't know," she sighs, her head falling back. "Keep going, and we'll see."

You lean down, peppering kisses along her jawline. She tilts her head, giving you better access. You suck on her pulse point, her breath hitching.

You move lower, kissing and sucking her neck.

She groans, her hand tangling in her hair. You smirk at this, trailing kisses down her chest. You unbutton her shirt, exposing her breasts. You take a nipple into your mouth, swirling your tongue around the stiff peak. She lets out a string of curses, her grip on your hair tightening. You give her other nipple the same attention, relishing the noises coming from her. You trail your hands down her sides, settling on her thighs.

You're about to give her a command when, suddenly, she stops you, pushing your head away.

Before you can protest, she grips onto your waist and flips you over. You let out a squeak of surprise.

She stares down at you, a smug grin on her face.

"What are you doing?" you ask, your voice breathy.

"What am I doing?" she repeats, raising an eyebrow. "I'm getting revenge."

"Revenge?"

"Yeah," she replies, her hand snaking its way up your shirt. "For teasing me."

"How do you plan on doing that?"

She pauses, a thoughtful look crossing her face. "I think I'm going to start with..."

She trails off, her gaze focused on your pants.

"What are you—" you're cut off by her hand moving to the button of your pants, undoing it.

She slides the zipper down, revealing the lace of your underwear.

"Nice," she murmurs, a grin on her face.

You're about to reply, when she moves her hand beneath the fabric, cupping you.

"Oh," you breathe, your hips bucking into her touch.

She begins rubbing slow circles on your clit, causing you to writhe underneath her.

"You're so wet," she states, her fingers picking up speed.

"All for you," you manage to get out, your breath ragged.

"That's what I like to hear," she says, slipping a finger inside you.

"Oh, fuck," you moan, your back arching.

She adds another, long, finger, stretching you.

"You're so tight," she marvels, pumping her fingers in and out.

You moan, grinding against her hand. She curls her fingers, hitting that sweet spot inside you.

"F-fuck," you curse, your walls clenching around her digits.

"Such a dirty mouth," she scolds, adding a third finger. She moves her mouth to your neck, her teeth scraping against the sensitive skin.

You pant, your toes curling as her pace increases. She hums in response, her fingers curling inside you, her thumb pressing against your clit.

"Fuck, Bada," you moan, gripping onto her wrist.

"You close, baby?" she asks, her breath hot against your neck.

"Y-yeah," you stammer, your hips meeting the movements of her fingers.

"Gonna cum," you mumble, your vision blurry.

"Mm-hmm," she nods, her gaze intense.

"Fuck," you cry out, and as your climax approaches, she removes her hand, leaving you frustrated and empty.

"Bada," you gasp, panting. "What the fuck?"

"I'm not finished with you," she states, a mischievous grin on her face.

"I wasn't either," you pout.

"We'll see about that," she teases, her hands moving to the hem of your shirt. She pulls it over your head, tossing it to the floor.

She gazes down at you, a hungry look in her eyes.

"Take those off," she orders, gesturing to your pants.

You oblige, sliding the rest of garment off and kicking it to the side.

"Good," she praises, a smirk on her face.

She stands, removing her shirt, pants, and boxers, her toned body exposed. You bite your lip, drinking in the sight of her. She crawls on top of you, her body hovering over yours. She kneels in front of you, her fingers ghosting over your skin.

"So, you gonna finish what you started?" you ask, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't know," she says, a glint in her eye. "I might."

She kisses you, her lips soft and pliant. You part your lips, allowing her tongue to slip into your mouth.

"Bada," you groan, tangling a hand in her hair.

"What is it, baby?" she murmurs, nipping at your bottom lip.

"Need you," you whisper, your hips bucking into hers.

"What do you need?" she breathes, her hand ghosting down your torso.

"Your fingers, your mouth, everything," you reply, a whimper escaping your throat.

"Everything, huh?" she teases, her fingers dipping beneath the hem of your underwear.

"Fuck, please," you beg, arching your back.

"Since you asked so nicely," she replies, her voice dripping with desire.

She ducks her head, her lips trailing kisses down your chest, her hands pushing your underwear down. You kick the last bit of fabric off, leaving you bare before her.

"Beautiful," she murmurs, her fingers circling your clit.

"Ah, fuck," you moan, your hands gripping the sheets.

She sucks on your inner thigh, her tongue tracing patterns on your skin, her fingers never stopping their ministrations. She spreads your legs, her hands pushing your knees up, exposing your wet, aching center. She exhales, her gaze hungry. She places an open-mouthed kiss to your slit, her tongue lapping up your juices. You keen, your hands finding her hair.

"More," you plead, your hips canting.

"Whatever you want," she promises, her fingers digging into your flesh.

She dives in, her tongue flicking across your clit, her nose brushing against the sensitive nub. You cry out, your body writhing beneath her. She wraps her lips around your clit, sucking hard. Your toes curl, and a low, guttural moan escapes your throat. She hums in response, her eyes boring into yours. She presses a finger to your entrance, her tongue continuing its assault on your clit.

"Please," you rasp, your breathing ragged.

She enters you, her digit pumping in and out.

"F-fuck," you swear, your head rolling back.

She adds a second finger, her tongue swirling around your clit.

"Bada, I'm close," you warn, your walls tightening.

She hums, her fingers curling inside you, her mouth closing over your clit, sucking hard, and you chant, your hands tangled in her hair.

Your climax crashes into you, and you cry out, stars exploding behind your eyelids. She works you through it, her fingers coaxing every last drop of pleasure from you.

You pant, your body trembling. She smirks, pulling her fingers out of you.

"Tired already?" she teases, wrapping her arms around you.

She grins, capturing your lips with hers, and you can taste yourself on her tongue. You melt into the kiss, your arms encircling her.

"Get some rest," she suggests, pulling away.

You pout. "But what about you," your gaze trailing down her naked form.

"I'm fine, we'll continue this another time," she reasons, kissing your temple.

"Fine," you relent, cuddling up to her and nuzzling her neck.

She rests her chin on top of your head, her hand gently rubbing your back.

"I'm really glad we met," you murmur, the exhaustion finally catching up with you.

"Me too," she replies, kissing the top of your head.

"You're gonna stay the night, right?"

"Of course," she affirms, giving you a squeeze.

"Good," you mumble, drifting off.

You smile, listening to the sound of her heartbeat, your eyelids growing heavy.

She whispers something that you can't quite hear, but before you can ask her what it is, sleep overtakes you.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

You wake up the next morning to find Bada fast asleep beside you. You roll over, facing her. She's on her back, one arm draped over her stomach, the other above her head. She's snoring lightly, her features relaxed. You try not to coo at how adorable she looks, and instead, get out of bed and make your way to the bathroom.

You take a quick shower, and then put on some sweatpants and a t-shirt. When you walk back into the bedroom, Bada's sitting up, her phone in her hand.

"Morning," you greet, crawling onto the bed and sitting next to her.

"Morning," she replies, her gaze focused on her phone.

"What are you looking at?"

"The news. Look,' she answers, handing her phone to you.

You read the headline.

'Improved conditions for the girls' basketball team after protests'.

"Oh, wow," you say, surprised.

"Yeah," she smiles, taking her phone back.

"Our project is kind of fucked now," you realize.

"Nah, it'll probably be fine. We'll just talk to the professor about it," she assures, putting her phone on the nightstand.

"What time is it, anyway?"

"12:30."

"Really? I thought it was earlier," you state.

"Well, we didn't get much sleep," she teases, a grin on her face.

"I wonder why," you reply, rolling your eyes.

She smiles wider and gives you a peck on the cheek. You laugh, her lips tickling you, your heart overflowing with joy. You felt like you were dreaming. Speaking of which, you suddenly remembered what she had whispered to you last night.

"Hey," you say, gently pushing her off of you.

"What's up?"

"Last night, right before I fell asleep, you said something," you start, trying to remember exactly what it was.

"Oh," she laughs, a blush forming on her cheeks.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing, just... nothing," she says, shaking her head.

"Bada," you urge, poking her side.

"Ugh, fine," she sighs, running a hand through her hair. "I, uh, I said I love you."

Your eyes widen in disbelief. "What?!" you gasp,

Her face flushes with embarrassment. "I know, it's stupid, and you don't have to say it back or anything, but I-,"

"Bada, shut up," you interrupt, pressing a finger to her lips.

"Huh?"

"I love you, too," you reveal, smiling.

"R-really?" she splutters, gazing at you in astonishment.

"Yes," you chuckle, kissing her forehead.

"Wow," she whispers, staring into the distance.

You laugh. "What, did you think I wouldn't say it back?"

"Well, I didn't really know," she admits, scratching her head.

"Of course I do," you insist, cupping her face.

She stares at you, her eyes wide. You stare back, your thumbs caressing her cheeks. Your heart swells as you smile at her, and her lips tug up into a smile. There's something so endearing about the way her eyes sparkle, her skin glows.

Then, she pounces on you, showering you in kisses.

"Hey, stop!"

"No," she giggles, her lips trailing down your jawline.

"Bada, seriously," you laugh, trying to push her off.

"Nope," she declares, her hands roaming under your shirt.

"Oh, my God," you sigh, giving in to her affection.

You hold her close, your arms wrapped around her. As she's getting increasingly handsy, you hear the door slam open.

"Okay y/n, TIME TO WAKE UP! I cannot believe you left the party without-" Lusher stops in the doorway, gasping as she lays her eyes on the scene before her.

"Fuck," you curse, scrambling out from under Bada and falling onto the floor.

"Oh god," Bada mutters, standing up.

"Lusher, please-"

"Bada?!" Lusher screams, her eyes wide. "Oh! My! God! How did this happen? Wait."

You groan. Here we go. "Lusher, please let us enjoy our-"

"God I'm glad you two finally got together. I was sooo tired of hearing you two mope about how into each other you were. It's about time, seriously."

"Lusher."

"Sorry, you know, I had weird premonition when I fell asleep that you guys hooked up, but I wasn't sure. Guess I'm a psychic," Lusher exclaims, giddily.

"Lusher."

"Okay, well, I'm glad it's true. And also, I'm very happy for you. Anyway, I'm going to go now," she announces, backing out of the room.

"Thanks, Lusher," Bada laughs.

"No problem. Also, by the way, I'm going to be a bridesmaid at the wedding."

"LUSHER."

"What? Okay, I'm going, I'm going. Bye!" she shouts, shutting the door.

"Oh, my God," Bada mutters, sitting back on the bed.

"Yeah," you agree, crawling back onto the bed and plopping next to her.

"She's a character."

"That's an understatement," you laugh.

"Anyway," Bada continues, a mischievous glint in her eye.

"Wait, what are you-,"

She pins you down, a smirk on her face. "Back to what we were doing!"

To Lusher's dismay, you and Bada spend the rest of the day locked away in your room, the two of you only coming out to grab snacks. And you couldn't be happier with how everything turned out. You almost laugh, remembering how hard you tried to convince yourself that you didn't have feelings for her, how you didn't want to date her, how she was out to get you.

But now, here you are, your head resting on her chest, her arms wrapped around you, her body pressed against yours. It's a dream come true.

And you wouldn't have it any other way.

#bada lee #lee bada #street woman fighter 2 #swf2 #bada lee x reader #bada lee x y/n #bada lee fluff #bada lee smut #bada lee fanfic #bada lee imagine

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animehideout · 8 months

Note

Hiiiii !!!

Do you think you could do a part 2 of the insecure reader with suguru and any other character u feel like writing for ???

Maybe something w a reader who had a past w s3lf h4rm?? If this makes u uncomfortable I totally understand and u don’t have to write it!!

Tysm have a nice day/night :)

Insecure Reader X Geto Suguru Finding Out

check out part 1 here

a/n: Thank you Anon for your request ♡⁠˖. This one turned out a bit long, kinda like a oneshot so I didn't include other characters, but there will be a part 3, since someone requested Choso/ Megumi / Sukuna. I'll be posting them soon.

P.S: For anyone who didn't see their requests posted, it's because I'm still working on them <3

TW: Mention of Self-harm, Depression, Negative body image.

Despite multiple pleas from family and close friends to open up, find happiness, and lead a better life without hiding, they still don't know that stepping out of your comfort zone means exposing the harm you've inflicted on your body as a way to punish yourself for simply being you.

But love works in mysterious ways, and has a way of transforming people, and now, every day, you find yourself making an effort for Geto Suguru—the man who turned your world upside down and indirectly encouraged you to embrace your true self. The happiest day of your life was when he asked you out on a date, making you feel worthy of love and care.

He always treated you with sweetness, but a sense of guilt lingered for hiding a big part of your life from him. Maybe it's because you chose to bury your past and start fresh, or maybe because of your insecurities, that prevented you from being authentic in front of him.

Tonight marked a special occasion as he would meet your family for the first time, anticipating a familial yet fancy dinner. He thought it'd be a great idea if both of you matched in color—black. So, he took you shopping to get a suit for himself and find the perfect dress for you.

The moment you'd been avoiding arrived, and you found yourself in a revealing short black dress he had chosen. Standing in front of the mirror in the changing cabinet, your eyes scanned your body, fixated on each scar from your past. Vulnerable emotions surged, and you gulped back the urge to cry.

"He'll hate me.." you whispered to yourself.

Not only would he be shocked by your appearance, but your family as well. At least, that's what you thought, as no one knew about your self-harm. It was a tough decision to make—whether to put back your clothes and continue concealing yourself from him or to walk out in that dress, letting everything unfold. You were prepared to accept whatever he would say, whether he chose to break up with you or accept you.

You clenched your fists, scared of his reaction, but you knew it was time to reveal the truth. The truth always surfaces, and if he doesn't see your scars today, he'll discover them eventually,when both of you have your first time. Pushing yourself out of the changing cabinet, you took a deep breath. The air hitched in your throat as your laid eyes on your boyfriend, who was already in the company of a stunning woman with a perfect figure and smooth skin,.. hugging him. The timing couldn't have been worse, especially as you were already having an internal breakdown and crisis from how the dress exposed one of your deep secrets.

Standing still, the weight of the moment hit you— not only would he see you like this, but also the woman who was hugging him. It felt like someone had struck a sensitive nerve in your mind, shifting elsewhere full of negativity. Trust issues resurfaced, fueling self-hatred within you, expecting both of them to judge you or maybe laugh at you..and Geto ditching you for her.

"Oh baby, you're here...Mei Mei this is my partner Y/n, Y/n this is my colleague Mei Mei" he started when he saw you.

You forced a smile to not come out as rude or jealous. Blinking away your tears, your trembling hands awkwardly trying to hide your scars, forcefully tugging on your dress. You noticed the way Mei Mei scanned you head to toe, your mind telling you that she's judging even though she wasn't.

"See ya Mei Mei, say Hi to your brother" said Geto waving her a goodbye,

And then approached you with a smile that quickly dropped. " b-baby?!" he started his heart pounding when his eyes fell in your scars "w-who did this to you?" he asked.

His question felt like a poisoned arrow that was aimed at your chest .You looked down, mind racing with unwelcomed ideas "maybe it's the end, I've never deserved him anyway" you thought to yourself.

"baby answer me!" he asked again and reached to hold your hand but you flinched away

" I -I did" you confessed,

and ran to the changing room to quickly strip out of the dress before Geto gets to catch you. But it was too late, you didn't even get to lock the door when he got inside joining you and locked the door behind him, traping both of you inside the cabinet. You expected him to yell at you,to voice his frustration and anger but you were left speechless when he pulled you into a his chest, engulfing you in his big arms, whispering,

"I'm sorry"

"why?" your voice cracked, thinking that it might be his way to break up with you but nicely.

"Because I wasn't there for you" he muttered into your hair.

"It was years ago Suguru..."

he pulled back, his thumbs wiping your tears away, looking at you with admiration yet with a broken heart.

"why baby why? tell me everything"

Both of you sat on the cold floor, his arms still around your shaking form.

"It was the only way to cope with my reality– b-because I've never liked the way I am. Everyone around me was trying to compliment me, but I've always taken it as a pity not a truth. My mind just couldn't accept it, so hurting myself was the only refuge to make me feel alive, to punish myself–",

you couldn't even finish the sentence, it was too overwhelming for you, to open a wound that you've been miserably attempting to heal.

"And you thought I'd leave you? You thought I wouldn't accept you?...Look at me my love, You're too precious to deal with all of this. You are important and worth fighting for. I'll fight the whole world if it means getting to be by your side forever. I'm here to protect you and what we have between us is a safe place for both of us. Dont harm yourself anymore, I won't let you do it again... Together we will find a healthier way to deal with your unhealed side. A way far away from harming yourself, okay?".

"What about these Suguru? what's gonna heal them?"

"You're beautiful the way you are! Even though it was a wrong way to cope with what you've been through, but still they're a reminder that you're strong for fighting and surviving till this day. I promise I'll plant a kiss on each scar everyday"

"What about my family...they don't know and I'm sca–"

"You'll wear this dress tonight, and no one has the right to judge you, be who you are, raise your head up and be proud of being you. And by the way, the dress is hugging your body perfectly.. damn you're turning me on–Yes just like that baby... Smile. Oh how I love that sweet smile of yours" He giggled leaning in for a kiss.

"Now roll that dress up a bit" he added

"But Suguru we're in public what if we get caught"

"Didn't I tell you that I love the thrill, but I promise I'll be quick, love. I just want to make sure that you know how beautiful and attractive you are both inside and out...let me treat you well.."

💌✨ Dear readers, remember you are beautiful inside and out, you are worth it and you are deserving of all the love and happiness. I want you to know that you're not alone. I know that overcoming the daily struggles, the negative feelings, the insecurities and self-harm is a challenging journey. Healing takes time but each step you take towards recovering is a great Triumph, so be proud of who you are. Remember that it's okay to ask for help your past doesn't define you and the journey towards self-love is worth every effort. I love you all ✨💌

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warping-realities · 3 months

Text

Building an Empire II - The Supplier

Javier stared with his usual cold eyes at the priest of the almost empty church in which Isabel's body was being laid to rest. He had never been religious despite his aunt's efforts. He sent too many men to their final destination to have any hope of being welcomed into the kingdom of heaven. Now, in possession of the Reality Warper that possibility interested him even less, why worry about being a servant in the kingdom of God when he himself had become a god on Earth? Still, out of respect for Isabel's faith he chose to watch over her body in the religion she had believed in throughout her long life. Using his finances he managed to have the funeral held in one of the most important churches in the city. He couldn't help but find it funny how the money bought a luxurious send-off for the aunt of one of the city's biggest criminals. Apparently someone in the church organization had also noticed the irony of the situation and sent a young clergyman to perform the funeral rites. A young priest apparently very idealistic, very debauched or very reckless who had spent the entire sermon talking about repentance, the fires of hell and how those who committed sins against the Lord would pay on the day of judgment. Isabel didn't deserve to have anything like that said at her wake, but Javier had the clear impression that the religious man's target was someone else. A shame for him because he had chosen the wrong man on the wrong day to provoke, a man who carefully watched him speak while plotting the best use he could get of him in his schemes.

At the end of the ceremony, Javier remained seated in one of the church seats, critically watching the few people present say their last goodbye to the deceased and leave the place. Many with their eyes lowered to avoid eye contact with him, some having the decency to at least nod their head, although none had the courage to try to comfort him. He didn't judge them, he was always intimidating and with stories about his life being whispered throughout the city no one would want to be seen near him. It didn't matter in the slightest to him, the only constant in his life had been Isabel and now she had left, but not before leaving one last gift. A gift that would fulfill any need for contact he might have that these people were unable to provide. Because the contact he wanted was different, he had very specific needs and that arrogant young priest would help him satisfy them in different ways.

When the last of Isabel's friends finally left the church Javier approached the pulpit where his aunt's body rested and his next prey awaited. The priest was blond and quite young, not yet thirty years old, when Javier saw him he was irritated because he would like a latino priest to watch over his aunt and he had been clear about that. Only at the moment of the sermon did he understand the reason for that choice. As he bent down to place his hand one last time on Isabel's cold face, Javier could see from the corner of his eye the priest judging him with the falsely pious look of those who consider themselves morally superior.

Feeling the weight of that gaze that was at once merciful and judgmental, Javier raised his own eyes and faced the preacher.

"Beautiful litany Father...?"

"Ryan, my son. I'm glad you liked it. It's important when the message touches the faithful."

Leaving aside the irony that a man at least 10 years younger was calling him his son, Javier preferred to give the young priest rope to hang himself.

"Even those strayed from the herd?"

"Especially these, my son. Do you know the parable of the prodigal son?"

"Yes Father, Aunt Isabel made me complete my catechesis, even though everyone at the time already knew about my... nature."

"She was a very wise woman. For there is nothing in nature that the Lord cannot change. Since he was the creator of everything and everyone, he knows our every sin and will judge us all, but he also provides the way to salvation. "

"So that's what we are, Father? The prodigal son and the father who takes him back and leads him on the right path? I'm sorry, but a boy like you is not the father figure I have in mind."

"A church priest is the father of all the faithful, my son, age is irrelevant in this case." Father Ryan replied, to which Javier preferred to respond with another provocation.

"Tell me, Father, what leads someone so young to choose the church these days? To give up what the world has to offer, so many... pleasures?"

"Earthly pleasures are nothing compared to the nectar and honey of eternal life, my son. But answering your question, my choice was easy, I found in the abode of God the peace for what afflicted me, the balm for my pains and the expiation of my sins."

Does this mean what I'm thinking? Javier thought to himself. If that were the case, any slightest regret he might have for what he was about to do would disappear, but to be sure of that he would first need to do it. But not before a last provocation.

"It's a shame, Father, that I don't think my sins need atonement. I took from the world what it denied me and I don't regret it, everything I achieved was due to my merit and those who stood in my way were the same or much worse than I ever was. And as for what you call sin, what you fear to the point of cloistering yourself, it is something that I do not give up, it is something that I indulge and revel in and that I I'm proud. Another sin to put on the list, pride, pride in not being a hypocrite who is so afraid of what he is that he prefers to hide in a pair of skirts like a woman."

"How you dare to say sinfull words in the Lord's house your sodomite?"

"I dare because I'm can." Answered Javier with a golden shine in his eyes watching Father Ryan be enveloped in an equally golden cocoon.

Javier stared at the golden figure for a few moments before shifting his gaze to the figure above the altar.

"Sorry, but today the greatest power at work will be me." He muttered right before invading Father Ryan's mind and reality. What he saw there surprised and angered him, but not for the reason he thought he would find it. Father Ryan was as big a hypocrite as he had imagined, but the reason for that enraged him. Since he was a boy Seamus Ryan had been brought up considering pleasure as a sin and the sexual act between two men as inconceivable and thus he had always denied his desires. The few times he had let it slip it the punishment he had inflicted on himself had been exemplary. What further increased Javier's disgust was fact that the young priest really believed in what he said and did, in the expiation of sins through pain and in the denial of his own identity. Also the fact at the same time he was dedicated, he gave food to the poor, participated in social works and helped children in need without ever giving them a look of desire, but if these people show any sign of the sin that he tried so fervently to hide he leaves them in misery . The combination of all that with Javier's own needs would make the new and reformulated Father Ryan someone very complex, in a way that his own creator could not understand, just as he could not understand himself.

With one last glance at the figure on the altar Javier set to work exploring the different possibilities that the small golden artifact imbued with his will had to offer.

...

Seamus Ryan found himself in the memory he had tried so hard to repress. The first of many to come and the most significant of them. He saw himself again on that terrible afternoon at boarding school, when at the age of twelve, while watching the older boys play football, he felt a strange sensation between his legs, an itch followed by an uncontrollable urge to touch his dick. Unfortunately for him, Father Connor saw what was happening and punished him severely, instilling in little Seamus the shame and guilt that he would associate with that feeling for the rest of his life. Feelings that would only increase in the years to come, leading the boy to try to purge any type of pleasure, no matter how small. He never masturbated and constantly self-harmed when he had any thoughts he deemed impure. He acquired the habit of fasting for days to avoid gluttony and the only alcohol he tasted in his life was altar wine. He did not even allow himself to participate in group physical activities for fear of desire and to repress the pleasure, preferring to take long walks, often barefoot, feeling his injured feet bleed to mitigate his sin. Yet deep down he knew that if he looked into the abyss within him the abyss would look back and that's why he set out to purge that evil in himself and in others. He became a man thin to the point of being skeletal due to lack of nutrients and a lack of love for himself, preaching about a love he was unaware of because he never had the opportunity to know what it was to truly love, using the excuse that God's love was enough to him. However, if the Lord Himself stood before him and told him that there was no sin in being who he really was, he would have turned his back on Him in disbelief, so deep was the contempt within him.

Javier also watched that scene wondering if a single moment could actually define someone's life. With that thought in mind he made a decision.

….

Sean Ryan found himself once again in the memory that would define the course of his life. He saw himself again on that terrible afternoon at boarding school, when at the age of twelve, while watching the older boys play football, he felt a strange sensation between his legs, an itch followed by an uncontrollable urge to touch his dick. Unfortunately for him, Father Connor saw what was happening and tried to punish him. Unfortunately for that bitter man the boy had a spark of rebellion burning inside him. A spark that flared up at that moment and made the boy run away from the boarding school that night, but not before committing another act of rebellion, doing exactly what the priest had tried to restrain him and feeling the greatest pleasure of his young life.

That night he wandered the streets of the city and saw things he never imagined, women exposing their half-naked bodies on street corners, men kissing women and other men, committing all kinds of carnal acts. There he saw sin for the first time and fell in love with it. And it was in the midst of the dazzled stupor of discovery that he was stopped by an imposing figure, a true giant who opened the way in the middle of that sea of sin and desire like Moses had opened the red sea and who awakened in him another type of desire, the greed, because that was exactly how he would like to be someday.

"What do you think you're doing, boy?" Asked the giant caramel-skinned police officer with a mustache that still gave no indication of how big he would one day become.

"No...nothing sir." Sean replied in a stuttering voice.

"This isn't the place to someone like you, boy. What's your name?" The man said with a stern look at Shane.

"Seamus, sir, but my friends cal me Sean."

"Flores speaking, I found the kid. I'm going to take him back." The police officer spoke into the communicator he carried with him.

"Come on boy, half the city's police are looking for you."

"I won't to go back"

"I don't give a fuck about what you want, you'll come with me." Miguel Flores scolded, making Sean Ryan scared and amazed at the power exuded by the police officer in such a way that he was paralyzed and allowed himself to be taken by the police officer to his car.

"Come in Seamus." The officer said before muttering to himself. "A boy from Saint Colum runs away and the world despairs, while fifteen kids can die of cold and hunger on the street because they can no longer bear living in the damn Santa Maria de Los Dolores and it's just a fatality… Hey kid, what you think you doing?” Shouted the policeman, grabbing the boy by the scruff of his neck when he tried to escape from the car.

"Do another funny thing like that and I'll put you on the trunk like a criminal. I'm solo tonight, no partner, so no one will ever know what happened to you. So you better behave, sit there quietly."

Fearing retaliation from the giant police officer, Shane calmed down.

"Tell me boy, what makes someone run away from a guarantee of a hot meal, a roof over their head, a comfortable bed to sleep in and a quality education?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"Boy, I was raised in the Santa Maria de Los Dolores orphanage, believe me that anything you went through at your fancy school, I've certainly seen or experienced worse."

"Father Connor well... he..."

"Did the bastard put his hand on you?" The policeman asked, even more angered, although for the first showing some kind of real interest in the boy.

"No sir, I mean yes, but not in the way you think, he punished me..."

"Ah, and what did you do boy?"

"I don't know, he said that I sinned, that I was unclean and that I should be ashamed, but... if so, why was it so good?"

"Don't tell me that withered old man caught you playing with your little wand?" Officer Flores asked with an mischievous smile on his face.

"Well, yes... but it didn't seem like that was what irritated him so much."

"So what was it?"

"You wouldn't understand"

"Boy, I told you that I lived a good part of my life in an orphanage for boys run by the church. If there's anyone who can understand you, it's me. Tell me, you were caught snooping at your classmates in the shower or..."

"No, no, it wasn't that... well it was... but they were playing ball..."

"Boy, I don't know why I bother saying this. So remember what I'm going to tell you because it's something I had to learn on my own. The world is an unfair and cruel place, and even more cruel to people like you. So you'll have to find a way to live with that. There will be people who will hate you just for being the way you are, many will humiliate you or your opportunities to have pleasure. But you said it yourself, if its is a sin, why its so good? Do you really think that God would make you the way you are if its a sin? I don't know if I believe in a God, but if you do, come to an agreement with him. Let it be something just between you, he will respond or not and you will live the way you think is best. "

"But isn't it wrong?"

"Tell me boy, is it more wrong to taste good food and the heat of someone else's body or to purposely go hungry and cold to punish yourself for something that is not your fault? A real sin is not take advantage of it when other people would give everything to have the opportunity to be in your place."

"But people will treat me badly if I... if I …"

"Yes, they will, but no one outside you needs to know that. Well, you and God I imagine. Don't be stupid, don't inconvenience these priests, be a perfect example of a little holy boy. But don't let them take away from you who you are. And when the time comes, you will find a way to do what is best for you. It may be that you find a good woman who understands the needs you have, or it may be that you have to face the cruelties of the world with your head held high, which always seemed to me an idealistic idiotic thing to do. Be smart boy, do your own thing and remember to take advantage of the opportunities that life gives you, not everyone will have the same ones. We're here, I'm going to take you inside and have a word with this Father Connor. Be smart, show them what they want to see and most importantly don't fuck with my shift again, Sean." The police officer concluded, opening the car door with what appeared to be a genuine smile.

As Sean entered the school he couldn't resist looking back and taking one last look at Officer Flores, not yet knowing how much that encounter would influence his life. At that moment the only thing he felt was admiration for the man and a wave of desire different from the one he had felt the day before, as this was a desire to become exactly like that man, even more so after he saw the expression that the policeman he demonstrated as Father Connor's thin figure walked towards him.

From that day on, Sean Ryan followed Officer Flores' instructions as if they were divine commandments. In front of the standards of the boarding school he acted with all the purity and innocence in the world, but behind their backs he began to enjoy and experiment. At sixteen years of age he didn't resemble the thin, emaciated boy he had been. With a healthy appetite, combined with constant physical exercise, he became a strong and fully developed young man. He was adored by everyone and the priests had great hopes for a future for him within the church, the only one who seemed to harbor any kind of grudge against him was Father Connor, but some deep fear prevented him from doing anything against him. Sean, for his part, wasn't so sure if his future would be in clerical life. That changed just before the boy's seventeenth birthday, when sweaty after rugby training he was getting ready for a shower and was approached by another of the boys on the team. Until that moment, no matter how much he had indulged in the pleasures of food, drink and the self-satisfaction of masturbation, he had never experienced the pleasure of orgasm with another person. After the sex, with his body covered in sweat and cum, he sat on the bench in the locker room and was sure that he would never look for a good woman to cover up what he was. But in those years he had learned to be as smart as Officer Flores had asked him to be, and suddenly the idea of the clerical life became a much more interesting prospect.

…..

Just over ten years after the fateful meeting between Sean and police officer Flores, fate (actually Javier) brought them face to face again. Newly ordained, Sean, now Father Ryan, had managed to obtain a position of great importance, which had raised some eyebrows within the church hierarchy, but he had known very well how to obtain and return favors during his time as a seminarian, coming to the conclusion that his superiors were as hypocritical than he was, but at least he assumed that for himself. The position he obtained was an old desire, he would be part of the body of clergy at the church of Santa Maria de Los Dolores, but more importantly he had managed to be appointed director of the orphanage attached to the parish, which had required the collection of many favors and for him to kneel in different ways. However, the position was undoubtedly his and with enough money for a good renovation. Freshly returned from a short vacation after his appointment he found himself opening the suit already too small to his huge body while observing the state his future domain was in. He had been this way for some time when he was surprised by an unexpected visitor.

"When I heard the name of the new director of this place I needed to make sure, and when I saw your photo Father my doubts increased. A big man of that size couldn't be the withered boy that I delivered to Saint Colum so many years ago."

"Ten years and 3 months exactly. And what I can say about the size is the result of adequate nutrition and physical exercise." Oliver replied with an unrequited smile.

"I'd say much more than simply adequate, you could take a bull by the horns boy."

"A police officer once told me not to hold back my needs."

"Detective, I'm a detective now, Sean"

"I am now Father Ryan, Detective Flores."

"That's exactly what I'd like to talk about." Miguel Flores responded with a pointed look and a cold voice.

At that moment, before the older man's gaze, Father Ryan found himself in the same position as Father Connor so many years before and despite all the confidence acquired with years of practice in physical activities, he could not avoid a shiver of fear.

"What do you expect to do here boy? I hope you're not doing this to satisfy the need I feared the other priest had tried to satisfy with you."

Calming down, Father Ryan resumed his smile.

"On the contrary, I assured you that all my needs are well met and fed and this is not one of them. In fact, it is precisely to combat these needs that I am here. After our meeting I followed your advice and made my own agreement with the Lord, one that I can live with and that I assure you is much less problematic than what many of my teachers and superiors do with their lives. But I also took an interest in this place and investigated it, using every means at my disposal including some disgusting moments with disgusting old men. Believe me, telling yourself that a hole is a hole doesn't help much when the body attached to said hole is hateful. Finally, after a lot of trouble, I discovered what was really happening here and I took steps to ensure that it doesn't happen again. The kids will have a safe place to live, all of them, even those who don't fit in at least until adulthood.

"You're a better man than me Father." Detective Flores replied with a half smile.

"I'm not so sure about that Detective Flores. I may be the Father here, but in my dreams you're the one I call Papi."

"I'm flattered, kid, but it's not going to happen. You've become a beautiful piece of meat, but for me you'll always be that skinny kid from Saint Colum. I'm sure that if you're the kind of man I think you are, one day you'll be in my shoes and respond in the same way. But don't be sad, if you you want to taste the Latin spice so much, I know exactly who could be your Papi.

…..

Javier withdrew from Father Ryan's mind with the thought that his treatment of him was more of a favor than a punishment. So much so that he spared his original's bitter conscience from the suffering given to Michael Fischer. He justified this attitude to himself by the fact that the Priest was not part of his personal revenge plan but just another piece in the greater scheme. Still, why had he given Flores a sympathetic streak? He would have to be very careful not to end up going soft. Speaking of soft, the thin, golden figure of the original Father Ryan lost its rigid metal appearance on this shelf and began to expand before Javier's eyes. Another change in relation to what happened in the previous experience. Before his eyes Father Ryan blossomed like a flower. A giant muscled flower of a man.

It was not possible to say a specific location for the beginning of the transformation as everything occurred at the same time. The lean torso expanding into enormous pecs, the thin arms becoming the size of clubs, the slender legs growing to the size of tree trunks, the abdomen in a gut that would certainly be a mixture of muscle and fat when the new Father Ryan revealed himself and finally the cadaverous face giving way to a round jolly face.

Javier admired the work for a few moments before the gold faded into brilliant dust and revealed the figure of Father Ryan. A well-built young man, with developed muscles covered by a layer of fat that only increased his overall size, giving the impression of a beast cloistered inside that cassock with the new memories that entered Javier's mind at that moment confirmed to be the purest truth, or not so pure, since Father Ryan's inner beast manifested itself in the extremely libidinous sexual acts that he enjoyed intensely. Something that the round, smiling and apparently innocent face of the figure that stood up and spoke to Javier did not show.

"Now that your aunt's soul is committed to the Lord, do you have any other business to attend to, my son?" He asked with a friendly and pious tone that hid very well the intentions behind the question, and only a careful look would be able to reveal the malice hidden in that cherubic face. A look that Javier possessed.

"We'll take care of what you want, Father, but before that, let's take care of business." Javier replied, although he burned with desire.

…..

These catacombs were built next to the parish and run throughout all of the church land. No one has been here for years since priests stopped being buried here. Many don't even know about the existence of the place and I was very diligent in erasing the physical records of it and no one ever bothered to make digital records. In addition, Detective Flores' contact at city hall also sorted through their records and those at the municipal library. Unless someone looks through old newspapers and finds some mention of the existence of these crypts, they exist only for us and those we grant access to them." Father Ryan explained as he guided Javier through the spacious place.

"What about the equipment and personnel needed?"

"The boys arranged everything. They were all raised in Santa Maria de Los Dolores and are very grateful for the payment given to their colleges and specializations and most importantly they have my complete trust and believe in the project. I know you're not the type who trusts others, but this time you'll have to trust me."

"That will depend on the results you produce but something tells me I won't need to worry to much about that." Javier replied with a half smile.

"So what do you say if I show you what we've produced so far so you can evaluate the results produced and mitigate any remaining concerns?" Father Ryan responded, guiding him through the dimly lit corridors of the place to a solid steel door that seemed completely out of place in that environment and making Javier wonder how he had managed to install it there. Meanwhile, the priest's eye was scanned, causing the huge door to open into a room where there were several computers, a laboratory and some young men working. A substance like molten gold could be seen in some of the beakers arranged on the laboratory bench, while one of the men observed with a critical eye a round, gelatinous pill of the same tone before depositing it in a black box with an alien shape where several other pills were placed. identical ones abounded. Javier observed the efficiency of the production with a look of approval that did not go unnoticed by Father Ryan.

"What do you think of these results?"

"They certainly ease my worries, but do I still need to ask you what the production estimate is?"

"A fair question but again I better answer by showing you." Father Ryan replied with a mischievous smile as he opened the door to a large warehouse and several shelves full of those strange black boxes and each of them filled to the brim with those golden pills.

One would have to wonder how the bed in the room attached to the facility had withstood the weight and adventures of the two mammoths that occupied it that afternoon. A mocker could say that it was divine providence. And divine had been the pleasure experienced by Father Ryan from the moment he had savagely torn Javier's shirt down to the last of their organs, and it was with regret that he watched the older man put on one of the clothes he had provided just that type of occasion.

"Are you sure you can't stay longer, Papi?" He tried.

"I have an unpostponable commitment and looking at you I think it's time for you to think about being someone's Papi." Javier replied, savoring the irony that only he could understand.

"And who said I'm not already?" Father Ryan joked with a smile while lying in the bed.

"Feel free to do whatever you want boy, as long as you don't forget who is your Daddy.”

“I will never forget Papi. What is this important commitment you have?”

"With production and supply secured, we need to place the product on the market. But to do this we will need a dealer." Javier replied with one last smile for his lover before leaving to ensure that.

#male tf #mind change #reality change #corruption #mental transformation

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crazyk-imagine · 4 months

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Bree's New Friend

Pairing: Adam Davenport x Bionic!reader

Characters: Bree Davenport, Bionic!reader, Adam Davenport, Chase Davenport, Leo Dooley, Donald Davenport, Tasha Davenport

Warnings: Fluff, classic lab rats things, has this been in the drafts for months, maybe, did I finally come back to it, also maybe, Leo and Chase being besties, Bree trying to set her girl up, Adam lowkey acting like a simp, reader can protect herself, Adam is a sweetheart, Leo is still a dork, Chase is pouty when he can't be bionic, aka use his skills with reader

Word Count: 1,137

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"Okay, I have a question," Bree asks, taking a seat in front of her stepmom.

Tasha looks up from her mixing bowl with a raised brow. "Which is?"

She avoids the woman’s gaze. "I want to invite someone over, but I don't want any of the guys here."

"You need my help making sure the house is empty except for you and your friend? Is this perhaps a boyfriend?"

"No, it's a girl. She's really nice and I want to be friends outside of school, but she says we can't meet at her house because her parents don't want random people in her house."

"How soon are you thinking?"

"I was hoping for something later this week but-"

"Done."

She pauses, wondering if she heard her correctly. "Wait- really?"

The woman nods, "you rarely bring your friends around and I want you to enjoy your teen years while you can."

Bree squeals and runs over to her, hugging her. "Thank you. Thank you."

Adam, Chase, and Leo walk through the door. "Did we miss something?"

Tasha shakes her head. "No."

Donald steps behind his wife, leaning against the counter. "You're lying, aren't you?" She sighs.

"She asked me if she could have a friend come over and I said yes. What's so wrong about that?"

He raises a brow. "Is this a-"

"No, she's in three of Bree's classes and she wants to hang out with this girl outside of school."

"When does this happen?"

"Tomorrow which means we need you and the boys out of the house."

"Okay. Wait- what?"

The boys’ glance at one another, planning on pranking their sister and unfortunately bringing her friend down with her.

"I'm so happy we could finally hangout and not talk about school," Bree tells you as you two walk through the door.

"Me too." You stand beside the door, waiting for her to close it. "But could we actually talk about school for just one second?"

The girl rolls her eyes, "that's not why I wanted to hang out with you."

You chuckle, "I know, I know but if we could finish this one thing then we can watch trashy tv or something."

"The quiz?"

The three boys pop their heads up from behind the stair rail.

"I have two more questions and then I'm done for the day."

She sighs, "fine."

"I promise if we finish before, what time is it?"

She looks at the microwave, "two."

You let out a whisper under your breath a victory scream. "Great. If we finish before the frozen yogurt shop closes, we can go. I mean, if your stepmom lets us."

"She will."

"Are you sure? We didn't even ask her."

She nods, "she will. I don't normally have friends over."

You don't say anything. She realizes her mistake and tries to fix it.

"I mean- I have friends all the time. I practically throw a party every day."

You place your hands on her shoulders. "Calm down. It's okay, I'm not judging you. I literally told you I haven't brought friends over and you didn't judge me. Why would I judge you?"

"You're not?" She asks with genuine confusion. You’re acting much nicer than the other girls at school.

"No. Now, let's finish this quiz so we can get fro yo."

The boys pull back and devise their plan.

Leo and Chase enter the living room.

Bree groans, “I told you guys to go away- wait- where’s Adam?”

You narrow your eyes and set your notebook on the coffee table.

Adam pops up behind you and grabs your arms to scare you.

You geoleap behind him and grab his arm, holding it behind his back to restrain him, aiming for the other arm when breaks free and tackles you to the ground.

He unintentionally uses his laser eyes barely giving you enough time to pull your shield.

“You’re bionic?” Everyone but Adam shouts, he continues to stare at you.

You slowly lower your shield when he stops.

“Who else is bionic? I feel like I need to get on this trend,” Leo comments.

Chase turns to him with a disappointed look. “It’s not a trend, Leo.”

He shrugs, “doesn’t stop me from dreaming.”

Donald and Tasha walk through the door. “What’s going on here?”

You’re alarmed and geoleap onto the couch.

“You-” The older man pauses, calling out your name.

“You know her?” Tasha asks.

“When did you guys complete geoleaping and why did no one tell me?” He takes your hand, helping you off the couch.

You shrug, “a few weeks ago, there’s minor glitches but pretty useful nonetheless.” You cross your arms and lean closer to him. “I didn’t realize these were your kids.”

“I didn’t realize you were my daughter's friend, so surprise.”

You narrow your eyes at him. “You don’t know what else we’ve done. Don’t act like a rich millionaire.”

“I don’t have to act.”

“Donald, are you seriously fighting with a child?”

He looks away from you, “no.”

You turn around back to Bree. “Ready?”

“God, yes.” She grabs her bag before pulling you with her.

“Wait up!” Adam calls out as the other two follow behind him.

She groans, “this is a girl’s trip which means no boys.”

“We’re still coming with you,” Leo adds.

You pull her beside you to whisper in her ear. You pull back and see Chase frowning and smirk, “couldn’t listen in, could you?”

“How did you-”

“I’m awesome, that’s why.”

“That doesn’t justify-”

Adam nudges his arm. “Shut up, dude.” He smiles at you before gesturing for you to lead the way.

“I like this one,” you point to him. “He’s nice and not annoying.”

Leo chuckles, directing Chase’s annoyance onto him.

You grab your things and are about to head out when Adam stops you.

“Hey- uh- I wanted to say sorry.”

“For what?”

“You know,” he furrows his brows. “For earlier.”

You wave him off, “you’re all good. I can handle it but thanks for the apology.”

He smiles and holds the door open for you. “Are- if anything that happened today scared you,” he pauses. “I hope you’d still want to be friends with my sister.”

You smile, “I’m still coming around, you guys are fun and can actually understand me in more ways than the other kids at school can.”

“Cool.”

“See you, big guy.”

He waits until you get into your parents’ car.

“I want to be a bridesmaid if you two get married,” Bree tells him.

He jumps and frowns, “not cool.”

She shrugs, “I’m just saying, I’m the reason you two will have gotten together.”

He chuckles, “you so aren’t.”

“I totally am.”

“Would you two shut up already?” Chase calls out.

“We’re trying to watch the movie- AH!” Leo screams and tosses the bowl of popcorn up.

#lab rats #lab rats imagine #lab rats imagines #lab rats fanfiction #lab rats fanfic #lab rats x reader #lab rats x you #adam davenport #adam davenport x reader #adam davenport x you #adam davenport imagine #adam davenport imagines #adam davenport fanfiction #adam davenport fanfic

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thedreadvampy · 7 months

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I'm trying to give Conflict Is Not Abuse a fair shake because I think it's important to unpick overstatement of harm.

and the introduction felt really clear and coherent and strong in laying out the thesis; acts of harm occur when one of both parties construe the other as having threatened them, and often that threat is not real and could be avoided through reflection and communication.

so she swings into chapter 1 with the idea that we're all responsible for reflecting on conflict rather than immediately jumping to the worst case We Are Enemies Now scenario

ah yes. I agree.

she chooses to illustrate this idea in several ways:

If I flirt with someone I assume she might interpret it as harassment, but she should consider that we're both fine actually because Actually she's probably interested in me but struggles to recognise her own feelings.

A friend is under huge pressure and has to cancel plans last minute so she sends me an email, but I don't WANT an email so she should be understanding and spend 5-10 minutes on the phone so I feel better, and the fact she doesn't means she doesn't care about me

Sometimes Women Say No But Mean Yes

A woman I went on a date with didn't text me back. I'm going to devote 2 pages to how she's clearly full of rage at me because she's unfairly judging me for being overbearing, which is very short sighted of her. At no point in that do I offer any possible explanation for not texting other than She Despises Me.

My most charitable response here is yeah Sarah you're right we should reflect on whether we're assuming harm in arguments. Can I suggest you start by turning the mirror around real quick? cause not one of these examples involves the possibility that she might be making some assumptions of her own.

#red said

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sevensoulmates · 5 months

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7x05 Buddie Meta YDKM Part 3 (of 4)

Part 1. Part 2. Part 4.

Eddie. I cannot stress this enough. If this was a partner that you actually had a good relationship with, you could go home and talk to them, tell them your feelings. Hell, you should feel safe enough just to say, "hey, I don't feel like having sex right now" and your partner should be able to accept it.

Why does the idea of saying no to sex terrify Eddie? There is a stigma that men are always supposed to want sex, and when they don't, that automatically means something's wrong, either with the man or with their partner. A lot of women might think they're the problem. One could argue maybe he doesn't want Marisol to feel bad, but if that was the case, then he would be doing his damndest to reassure her that he just needs a minute with the nun thing and not to take it personally. Instead, he avoids her, doesn't respond to her messages, and now--looks very panicked at the idea of her possibly trying to initiate sex with him. Which is kind of hilarious because what makes you think she even wants to have sex with you right now after you've been avoiding her all day?

This is another interesting line because it suggests that Eddie finds sex to be a chore. An obligation. Something he must provide his partner in order to keep them satisfied, and something that he's always done just to please his partner. I'm not saying he gets no pleasure from sex with women, but it doesn't feel to me like sex is really something Eddie really likes all that much just for himself if it's something "he'll get through somehow." I understand that this is a joke on Buck's end, but it's still written into the show on purpose, and sometimes jokes are just ways to cover up speaking the truth.

I want to talk some more now about Perception, specifically how both Buck and Eddie felt perceived this episode in ways that made them uncomfortable. For Buck, he was experiencing for the first time what it feels like for the world at large to perceive him as a queer man. Seeing eyes everywhere when no one was really watching. And for Eddie, it's the same, except instead of society perceiving him it's God. Both society and "God" are both entities that are known to be judgemental overall. But my question is, why does Eddie feel judged for sleeping with a woman who never even made the final steps to become a nun?

Buck is right, if God is an omniscient presence he would've always been watching, so why now does the idea of an All Powerful Being perceiving Eddie having relations with a woman terrify him so much? Is he afraid of "someone" knowing what actually runs through his head when he's being intimate with a woman? Is he ashamed that he's not actually as into it as he appears to be? Maybe now that the catholic guilt has been brought back up in Eddie consciousness, the thoughts are spilling through, and he's not able to stop them this time, and he's scared that someone, God, or society, or whoever, will see that he's not actually as into women as he wants people to believe. All of this is something I don't think he's realized. It's just as much unconscious to him as Buck's bisexuality was to him last episode. But something is bound to happen that finally clarifies it for Eddie.

He comes to the conclusion that he has to break up with her. But when confronted, he says he doesn't actually want to break up with her. Why? Because she just moved in. Not because he "really likes her" or because "he wants to build a life with her" or because "he wants her there" or because "he wants a relationship with her", it's because it's inconvenient because she just moved in and it makes him look bad (honey, far too late). He doesn't actually want to be with Marisol, he just likes the idea of cohabitating because it gives the illusion of a family without actually having to put any effort into building and strengthening it. This is exactly like how in the scene previous, he admits to Bobby that he liked being married, not necessarily that he loved Shannon. He just loved being married to her. This is the exact same thing.

This showcases Eddie's fundamental misunderstanding of both Tommy AND Buck. He has his blinders on the entire episode, and he walks a fine line between just misunderstanding or being willfully ignorant. The same way he doesn't see Buck and Tommy's queerness is in my opinion, the same way he doesn't see his own queerness.

Eddie's facial expressions here--Gosh, hats OFF to Ryan!! He really looked like he was shaken to the core. Especially his face in the last still. You can tell he did not see it coming at all. Because for "manly men" like Eddie, Buck, and Tommy, he's probably never even thought of it being a possibility for people like them.

This is especially evident when his first thought is not of Buck being queer, but of Tommy. And I don't think this is because he's surprised more about Tommy, or is not putting enough emphasis on Buck. I think it's more so that Eddie is aware that Tommy and he have A LOT in common, so much so that Eddie probably heavily identified with Tommy, and to have this part of Tommy be something so "different" from what Eddie expected is more shocking to him in the moment. Because if a man like Tommy (Eddie's narrative mirror) is queer, then what does that say about Eddie? I think that's why his first thought is about Tommy.

It might also be because it's easier for Eddie to process Tommy's queerness in the moment than it is for him to process Buck's queerness. In the same way that Buck was so unsure of why he was so hesitant to tell Eddie, Eddie might be struggling to comprehend Buck's queerness and what that means for them and their relationship without appearing to be unsupportive.

Additionally, it's interesting that Tommy's queerness never came up in conversation since it seemed like Tommy and Eddie got pretty close and "clicked" in a very short period of time. Is it possible Tommy is supposed to contrast Buck here? Buck says "Tommy just doesn't offer that information up". Maybe Tommy is also aware of how supposed "straight" men react when they learn that someone like him is into men. It provides an interesting contrast to Buck, who was so anxious about telling Eddie because he worried about how it would affect their relationship in particular, whereas Tommy just opted not to tell him at all just because he doesn't tell people unless they ask.

Buck asks if this is weird for Eddie, but Buck is aware that Eddie is not a homophobic person, and therefore wouldn't need to be worried (like Tommy could've been since he's only just met them both three weeks ago). Buck's known Eddie for six years, he knows Eddie knows plenty of queer people and has never had an adverse reaction to them. But this is personal because Buck knows that he's one of, if not the closest adult in Eddie's life. If Eddie is uncomfortable with Buck, it ruins their entire...everything. This says to me that Buck knew that by telling Eddie about this something would change, but he just doesn't know what.

I told myself if Eddie said any statements in this episode along this line, anything that felt like it was in the same vein as "no homo" that it would signal to me immediately that they were going to go there with Eddie's sexuality storyline, and this counts for me.

Eddie, it should be a given that you don't like Tommy in the same Buck does. No one in the room is accusing Eddie of being queer, and yet he says this all on his own for no reason other than to purposefully distance himself from queerness. All of which point to internalized homophobia. A person who was secure in their straight sexuality would not feel the need to clarify that they are straight (making it a bit about yourself there, huh, Eddie?) immediately after a close loved one just came out to you.

This is not a scenario where someone's coming on to Eddie and he has to say "no, sorry I'm not into men." This isn't someone asking him point blank, "are you gay?" and he says no. Nowhere in this conversation was there anything that Buck said that could've made Eddie feel like he was also being accused of queerness and yet Eddie feels the need to make it known that is in fact, not gay.

Eddie, a confident straight man, should understand that this convo is about Buck's queerness, not whether or not Eddie is being perceived as queer. This coming right after he looked so shocked about Tommy, when the last two episodes spent a lot of time painstakingly telling us that HEY! HEY! EDDIE AND TOMMY ARE SUPER ALIKE!

Eddie. My guy. Your queer realization arc is coming and of that I am certain.

This line read to me in the same way as the line in 7x01: "but with only one [gender] is there underlying sexual tension". This line, spoken by Buck, was disproven in episode 4. This line here from Eddie is put there to eventually be challenged. This line has two meanings, which is that of course the foundation of their friendship will not change because of Buck's queerness, but it does signal to the audience that some part of their relationship will change. What could that be? The only thing that makes sense at this point in the story is for the romantic aspect of their storyline to finally be explored. I think this is foreshadowing that story that's likely going to come at some point down the line. I don't know if it'll be this season, but it's going to come, of that I'm sure now.

Bucktommy as a direct parallel to Eddiemarisol is so interesting because whereas with Buck you can tell that he genuinely has interest in Tommy, it's heavily juxtaposed by how uninterested in Marisol Eddie has acted pretty much since the second they got together in season 6. Even Eddie's face here looks like he's thinking "wish I knew what that felt like". Don't get me wrong, I do think that Eddie wants a real connection, but I think he thinks that if he just stays with a woman for long enough one will just develop through proximity alone. But that's not how relationships work. It didn't work with Shannon and their relationship continued to be dysfunctional until the day she died. It didn't work with Ana, but that time, his physical reactions were enough to get him to break up with her. With Marisol, I think Eddie's at his patience end. He doesn't want to give up and be alone again. Or worse, have to start trying all over again. He doesn't want to fail again, because failing this time not only means failing himself but failing Christopher as well.

We just saw in 7x01 that Christopher believed that it wouldn't matter what he did, people (girlfriends in this case) would always leave. Christopher learned this from Eddie. Eddie deciding to stick it out with Marisol is both him desperately trying to grasp onto the possibility of a connection, but also a way to prove to himself and to Christopher that not all relationships have to end.

But in this case, Eddie's advice makes sense for Buck, because he's literally in the early stages of this relationship with Tommy, he's still trying to get to know Tommy, and he's trying to adjust to queerness for the first time in his life. For Eddie, this is at minimum a 4-6 month old relationship, one that he's just randomly decided to take "to the next level" and he did all of this without bothering to get to know Marisol AT ALL. That ENTIRE time. While it's true that Buck hasn't yet had a chance to figure it out what it is with Tommy, Eddie has had many chances before but has chosen not to take them. And I think when faced with the reality that he would giving up on yet another relationship, the prospect of failing yet again, he decides to go against what his gut is telling him and stays with Marisol.

I love that Eddie realized before he left that Buck needed physical assurance and gave it to him. This is their first hug in many seasons and it's a beautiful one. Eddie puts his thumb on Buck's pulse yet again, and I'm sure that was a very reassuring thing to feel, to know that Eddie still cares that deeply for him. He even puts his finger up and tells Buck to call Tommy, showing his support for Buck's relationship with Tommy, which was never a question that he would do. Because it's no question that Eddie loves Buck to the core, and he will always want Buck to be happy. He just hasn't figured out that his own happiness is possible specifically with Buck.

This entire scene also was physically blocked very similar to the scene in the episode right before, the scene that ended with Tommy kissing Buck. The only difference here was the topic of conversation and the fact that it ended in a hug and not a kiss. Buck lets out a sigh of relief as Eddie leaves, exactly the same way he let out a sign of relief after realizing his attraction to men.

Marisol's possessions in this episode have been a metaphor for who she is. Eddie's choice to look in the boxes at the beginning of the episode was him finally dipping his toe into learning who she is and he was uncomfortable with what he saw there, not because of Marisol, but because it reminded him that he's not being true to himself in this relationship. And now, he's given another chance here at the end. Marisol's metaphorical box is open, and an invitation for Eddie to take to get to know her more, and instead of wanting to get to know her, he says he "doesn't want to know what's in there". He admits that not only does he not know Marisol, but he doesn't WANT to get to know her.

In the same way, Eddie doesn't know the truth of who he is, he doesn't want to find out the truth. He doesn't want to open the pandora's box inside him and wade through the shit until he finds the tiny little bit of hope. Eddie would rather close the box and leave it closed and keep this relationship with Marisol going rather than try to dig deeper to figure out the real reason why this whole issue happened.

Marisol's reasons for not telling Eddie about the nun thing herself are understandable. She was worried about judgment, rejection, or possible fetishization. It makes sense to me why Eddie, in the end, was able to ask for just a minute to digest it. I think he realized that in the end, the nun thing isn't the whole dealbreaker here, it's something else. Something he's not willing to examine at this time. And since he's realized that the problem isn't Marisol, but him, he can move past the weirdness, and accept Marisol.

Because it's not Marisol he's accepting or rejecting, but the promise of a continued relationship in the future.

Marisol offers him a chance to back out, and you can tell that his first instinct (his "gut" reaction) is to take it. And yet....he adds a "yet". He keeps her on the hook, and he ignores the signs his gut is telling him. In an episode written partially by Taylor Wong who laid all the same "the universe is screaming" and "I do not panic" story threads, Eddie is once again ignoring them and going against his gut despite what he says next.

Eddie tells Marisol that he tends to rush his relationships, and this is true. Despite Eddie being so stubborn and hard to get to know most of the time when it comes to his romantic relationships, he over-commits. I've already talked about how he did the same thing with all of his relationships, including Shannon. He over-commits and under-delivers. I'm glad that they're pointing this out textually in canon because it's true and it's a large part of the issue, even though the root of it is not yet being explored.

However, him saying he "goes with his gut" and lets his head catch up later, is both a true and false statement. When it comes to his romantic relationships Eddie purposely ignores his gut, each and every time. When his gut tells him that he shouldn't bring Shannon back into his life, he ignores it (though this situation is a bit more nuanced). When his gut tells him something's wrong with his relationship with Ana, he says he's going to stick it out anyway. When his gut tells him to end things with Marisol, he doubles down.

The true part of this statement is that he lets his head catch up later. But the thing is that when his body tries to show him later on that something is wrong, whether that be through panic attacks or sexual dysfunction, he continues to ignore it or refuses to dig into it deeper. He still hasn't confronted the truth of his unhealthy relationship with Shannon. He didn't examine why his relationship with Ana didn't work, and he's not questioning himself deeply enough to ask why he's so deeply uncomfortable in his relationship with Marisol.

One thing is for sure, Eddie is an unreliable narrator. He has a hard time understanding his feelings let alone communicating them, and therefore whenever he says statements like these, I think it's worth it to always question it. Does it actually feel like he's telling the truth from a place of understanding, or from a place of what he wishes he could feel?

Go to part four (last part).

Part 1, Part 2, Part 4

#911 abc #911 meta #buddie meta #buddie #meta #analysis

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igotanidea · 2 years

Text

Beneath: Jason Todd x fem!reader

request/summary: @jasontoddsthickbabe asked me for a story: Jason doesn’t think he worthy of love until he meets y/n and she also thinks the same bc she’s a thick and chubby girl. Sorry it took me so long, hope you'll enjoy. I took liberty of making Jason and Y/N friends (of some sort :) )

Warning: insecurites, description of body type (no hate here!), cussing and Jason being a walkign warning, oh and angst with happy ending.

I recommend listening to "Beneath you're beautiful" by Labrinth and Emeli Sande while reading.

REMEMBER YOU ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL THE WAY YOU ARE!

Looking in the mirror was painful. Sometimes. Often. Usually.

At first glance everything was all right with her. She had two eyes (one of the very few attributes she liked about herself), a nose, two ears and a mouth.

Yes. That was good.

But then.

Everything below the neck was just…. big. Her breast, her belly, her legs and hips. Her butt. All outsized no matter how much she was trying to hide it or fight it. It was good during winter months were she was wearing sweaters and coats, but she dread every spring and summer, wishing for it to end instead of enjoying the warmth and joy. Going out with friends, especially her girlfriends who were always dressed in tiny sundresses with their perfect lean legs exposed and their perfect, slim bodies brought out by the clothes was literal torture. She never found enough courage to wear anything shorter than ankle-length. Shorts? Mini dress? Nope. Never. Forget it.

And it did not make her feel good. At all.

It was like that for a long, long time. She was working in the newspaper, covering the matter of technology news, but in such workplace she was always watching her perfect, pretty, slender female coworkers, smiling and charming and being chased and adored by bunches and bunches of men. Too often she found bouquets of flowers on their desks, leaving all the girls wondering who was the secret admirer. It never happened to her and as much as she was trying to cover it and suck it up it was slowly killing her inside.

“Hey, Y/N, don’t stress about it. Your day will come.”

“Mhm. Sure it will” she flashed a smile, but her inside just clenched. It would never happen. No one will love her while she looked like that – chubby. So how could she even hope for being the object of someone’s love when everywhere she turned, in magazines, workplace, photos, all the girls were just … skinny. Even in her beloved books the heroines were always tiny, petite, fragile and delicate. God!

At some point she just couldn’t take it any longer and started to avoid integrations and meetings that became too painful. But of course, her boss noticed that and made her join, using the most cliché arguments about coworkers bonding and being a part of the team. Sure, she was a valuable and competent and needed as a coworker. Not so much as a girl or woman. To anyone. But she came to this evening party, once again observing the happy couples flirting and teasing and holding each other, dancing and just being there together.

“I’m gonna be sick” she thought to herself “I’m gonna be sick if I don’t leave right now.” Suddenly, the feeling of being fat, ugly, unattractive and pathetic came running and she had to hold back the tears. She wanted to be in her apartment, in her own bed, with some TV show on, feeling safe and warm and not exposed and judged on the way she looked like. Even if it was barely 9 p.m. Without any word of explanation to anyone she just busted out the door onto the street, not really looking where …..

“HEY! Watch where you going!” clearly angered man on the motorcycle harshly applied the brakes in front of her. The tires screeched and he barely managed to stop before crashing into her. “Are you trying to get yourself killed!?” he yelled taking the helmet of showing his rant and raving eyes and disheveled black hair with a single white strand on the front.

“Oh, I’m sorry!” she yelled back at him “I’m so sorry this fucking of a Gotham city sucks! I’m freaking sorry that you were speeding without any thought of pedestrians in that pretty head of yours!”

“Pretty, huh?” the man on the bike looked at the raging girl in front of him raising an eyebrow at her choice of words, but she couldn’t care less.

“Besides!” she continued “It’s not like you couldn’t see me! I take quite a lot of place! I bet you would act all nice and charming if I was pretty, slim and model-like! Isn’t that what all the boys are about?! A hot girl?! Especially the Waynes!”

“Auch, Y/N. That really did hurt!” Jason put a hand on his heart in pretended pain “you are truly breaking my heart.”

Y/N and Jason met by some crazy accident. Not like the one with the motorbike. A year ago, she found herself doing some journalist work on the tech the criminals in Gotham were using and that was how she ended up working with his detective brother Dick. Long hours at the office swiftly shifted into friendship and soon she met his entire family since Grayson really lived up to his opinion as “a family man.” Alfred and Tom loved her from the very second she stepped into the manor. Damian accepted her without any questions which meant a world in his case. Bruce never complained and never engaged which was pretty much and indication of the same. The only rocky relationship she had was with Jason. They were just a bit too similar in too many cases and that was why their relationship was more of a teasing one than rainbow an roses. But on the other side, they would jump into the fire for each other.

Soon enough, due to her nosiness and insight she figured out all of their secret identities as bats and everyone though she would be in grave danger and tried their best to keep her out of trouble. A month later she kicked the ass of some assaulters who came at her when she was walking home late and from that moment she was never again seen as little, naïve and harmless. (What? I know how to use my assets - she said, obviously referring to her figure. Yes, sometimes it was useful, but not tonight. Tonight she had enough and Jason Todd with his snarky attitude was the last thing she needed.)

“SHUT UP, Jason! I’m done with all the man in this fucking city! I’m done with all the man in the planet and shit, in the entire universe! You only judge with your eyes. Nothing more matters to you…..” her anger was finally out and the last words were barely audible as all the pent up energy deflated “I’m sorry. I was out of line. You were right I should have watched were I was going.” She looked down apologetically.

“Bad day?” he smiled lightly looking at the girl in front of him, leaning on the handlebars and observing her closer. Maybe it was because of all the emotions she just let out but it sparked something in him. Apparently, she had similar anger issues as he did. Besides she was pretty. She had big, honest, glistening eyes, red lips, flushed cheeks and thick messy hair. And she looked so small and vulnerable even if she really was a bit bigger than the girls he was usually into.

“Just regular one.”

“You step in front of motorcycles on your regular days. I don’t think you will get to hate Gotham for long when it turns out deadly for you.”

“Haha. Very funny, Todd. Anyway, have a safe drive home. Try not to drive into anyone of anything.” She turned on her heel ready to walk away but he stepped in front of her stopping her “get out of my way.”

“Believe me, I want to, but as much as I hate Bruce, he taught me to respect woman. So, all those fucking lesson force me to ask, ugh, are you all right?”

“Guilt calling much?” she tilted her head looking up at him. Shit, she was so cute.

“Not at all. You practically admitted it was your fault. “ her eyes grew wide at his scoffing words “I would hate to add the job to the vigilantes in this freaking city if you pass out on the street.”

“Nightwing? I heard he was out of town.”

“You know he is not the only one.” He hissed clenching his teeth. Of course every girl in this freaking city was dreaming about his older brother.

“Oh, you meant Robin. Like the Red Robin? He seems like a nice guy wouldn’t mind meeting him, even in some radical circumstances.

“You really do have a death wish, don’t you little one?”

“Little one?” she mocked “have you seen me? I’m ….. you know what, never mind. Like I said, have a safe trip to the Wayne Manor. Say hi to your father for me and remember to mention that his newest technology have a flaw. I give it a week, tops, before it goes to shit.”

“Wait! Y/N! ”

“See you around, Jace!"

*** A week later, all the press in Gotham was writing about the failure at Wayne Enterprises and Bruce alongside with Tim had to do some damage control and PR action. One of them involved a meeting with the journalists and surprisingly, Jason tagged along.

“Why on Earth are you interested in Wayne Enterprises matters now?” Tim looked at him suspiciously

“Interested? Oh, hell no! I just want to see you two making fools out of yourself and try to explain it all. This will be a load of fun.”

“I hate you, Todd.”

“Sure. I’ll remember it next time you need my help in saving your ass during mission."

The truth was, something was telling him his favorite hysterical girl would be on the meeting and even if he wouldn’t admit it to anyone (himself included) he really wished to see her.

***

“Mr. Wayne! Mr. Wayne! Here! How would you describe what happened in the enterprises? Was there anyone who got hurt? Is Gotham in danger?” the journalist were screaming and flashing photos, but Bruce had his signature stone cold look on. Slowly, all the press got intimidated and quieted.

“This was a controlled trial. A standard procedure to assess the possible damage of our new product….” Bruce started to explain

“Controlled trial, my ass.” Jason scoffed behind the curtain “She was right, as usual.”

“As usual, hm?” she appeared out of nowhere, sneaking behind his back and startling him

“FUCK! Y/N!”

“Hello, Todd.”

“How the fuck did you get here?!”

“Golden pass. Courtesy of your father. Guess he got a bit worried my words to be published would harm him and his company.” She smirked

“Worried. Bruce Wayne. Worried about you? You overestimate yourself, honey.”

“You underestimate me Jason. At least when it comes to my mind. “

“What are you…..?”

“Nothing. Forget it. I got job to do, so if you excuse me…. “ she winked and joined the once again screaming press “Mr.Wayne! Mr.Wayne!” she turned around and smirked at him once again with that irony in her eyes before disappearing for good. Her wider hips and bottom worked quite well in making some space for her.

It was this exact moment, Jason’s heart skipped a bit watching her indulge in the work with all her enthusiasm and sarcastic attitude. Fuck. He was in deep shit.

***

To say the truth, his reactions at the press conference scared him beyond recognition. He didn’t want to fall for her. It was not planned and definitely not wanted. So he did the only thing he knew how to. He cut all the contact with her. Stupid, freaking idiot. But that was all he knew how to do. Besides, it wasn’t like she was trying to reach to him. Running away from the emotions was the only option for him. A safe one. So he iced her. For three weeks. He was leaving every single time she came visit boys at the manor. He took a detour from his favorite places to avoid passing her work and accidental meeting. He stopped buying coffee at his preferable café, instead threatening Tim to grab one for him wherever he was going there. Everyone knew something was off.

“You are a coward, Jason, you do know that?” Dick said to him one time

“What did you just say to me?!”

“You. Are. A. Coward.” His older brother punctuated every single word like it was a separate sentence.

“I have no fucking idea what you are talking about!”

“Sure, you don’t.” Dick shrugged “I’ll leave you to it then. Won’t give you any hints in the matter. With your thick thinking it might take you ages though. ”

“GRAYSON!”

“What? I said nothing wrong and I stand by this. By the way, do you have a date to the gala next week?”

“No.” Jason scoffed “First of all I’m not going and even if I did I would just go solo.”

“Hm.”

“What now?”

“Jason Peter Todd.” Ladies and gentlemen Bruce Wayne blessed us with his presence.

“Oh, fuck no!”

“You are going to attend the gala next week. This is not a matter of yes or no. This is an order. “

“I’m not taking any orders from you, Bruce!”

“I’m not asking you to take it. I’m commanding you to attend the gala.”

“Screw you all! You can’t make me…..”

***

They made him.

***

At least he bargained this much that he could go alone. No date. No girl on his arm. He thought it would be so much easier this way. But now, as he was watching Dick and Barbara swaying on the floor some sting of pain shot through his heart.

He missed her.

Fuck.

He didn’t need that. He didn’t want that. A month without her should have done the work but it was only worse and worse. This party was a disaster for him even before it started but slowly it was becoming a living nightmare. He started to sweat underneath that freaking suit he was wearing and decided it was the best if he just disappear.

And then he saw her.

The most cliché moment ever, recreation od the every freaking rom-com he knew (which was not many) and it made him feel like an complete idiot when he just froze, rooted to the spot not able to look anywhere but on her. She was so freaking beautiful in the simple, classic dress that stressed her figure. So freaking beautiful his heart started racing uncontrollably.

“Stop staring at me. I know I look like a freaking sausage.” She muttered passing him and heading straight towards the drinks, ready to numb all the feelings.

“Sausage?”

“Yes, Todd. Sausage. I don’t …..” she sighed pulling at her hair nervously “I don’t look like all those girls here…. I am not like Barbara or all those elegant females.”

“You look beautiful” he blurted and instantly regretted that when she looked at him with pain in her eyes.

“Stop making fun out of me.”

“I am not…..”

“Do you have any idea how much time it took me to find a dress that would fit me?” single tear fell from her eyes and he clenched his fists to stop himself from wiping it away “what torture it is looking for any clothes, really? The sizes ends at some crazy small numbers and…..” a ragged breath escaped her

“Y/N….” his heart was breaking with her every word.

“I’m sorry. I’m being boring.” She quickly regained herself “How is your evening, Mr. Todd? How is this possible that you are here all alone? Don’t you know all the single ladies here are eyeing you like you are a prey?”

“If only they knew they are after Red Hood.” He smirked

“Are you crazy? Stop mentioning your alter ego!”

“No one’s listening either way and …..” before he could finish the sentence gunshots came from outside. “Shit!”

“Perfect timing, Jason. Perfect timing.”

“Will you just shut up! I need to get you to safety and take care of whatever scumbag decided to destroy this freaking party!” he grabbed her wrist and pulled her away from the windows that just blew off.

“Go!” she pushed him towards the exit instead “Go! I’ll be fine, I know how to take care of myself. Not my first rodeo” she smirked “Go help your brothers.”

“Promise me, you’ll be safe.” He grabbed her waist and looked straight into her eyes.

“I will. “ she spoke calmly “I promise. Now go!” he took off running but stopped when she called back at him “Jay!?”

“Yeah?”

“I know you are internally happy that this party was crashed!”

“Cut the internally part and you’re just about right!” he laughed and moved to the eye of the fight.

***

“Is everyone ok?” when the threat was taken care of and she was sure the bats were back at the cave she came running straight to the tunnels under the manor.

“We’re good.” Dick smiled despite the bruise on his face “That was not even the worst event I’ve been to.”

“ I bet. What was this all about?”

“Some big fish at the party and some debts from what I put together in the short amount of time I had. And no.”

“What?” she frowned acting all innocent even if she knew what was on Dick's mind.

“You are not going to investigate it further.”

“Of course I will.”

“I forbid you.”

“I don’t take orders from you.”

“You and Jason are so alike at times.” Dick sighed deeply

“Are we? Really? And by the way, where is everyone? Why are you alone?"

"Bruce is taking care of Tim and Damian….”

“You mean he’s scoffing them?” she knew what Batman care meant.

“Yeah, not the first not the last time. They’ll be good. And Jace….. Jace is on the rooftop. He’s fine too. If you want to know.”

“That’s worth noting.”

“Y/N?”

“What?”

“Go talk to him.”

“Orders again?”

“Nope. Just a suggestion. I have quite the observational skills, you know. You two should talk.”

“I don’t see the reason why. But if I were to take a walk now….”

“then I would have no idea where you went.”

“All things considered I think I could use some fresh air. After all, I’ve been through a traumatic events. Gunshots!”

“Good luck finding fresh air in Gotham!”

“I’ll take my chances. And…. Dick? Thank you.”

***

“Jason?” no reaction from the silhouette sitting on the roof watching the stars. “Jason!” now he heard her and turned around.

“Please go away, Y/N.”

“Why? What’s wrong? Come one, we are friends , I guess? All this teasing and fighting is just for fun, right? You are not mad at me or anything?”

“Mad at you? Damn it Y/N. How could you even think so?”

“You went radio silence for quite some time. What was I supposed to think?” she moved forward and sat down next to him making him jump away instantly almost like her presence was toxic.

“I’m … I don’t bite you know.” she joked but her voice was so, so sad at his action.

“Please, go away. I don’t want you to see me like this.”

“Like what?” she shifted her position to face him “Like what, Jay? I’ve patched you up multiple times. I’ve seen you cut, bleeding , bruised. I know all the scars on your chest and abs and face. What is there that you don’t want me to see?”

“That is fucking it!” he yelled and stood up, the lights from the manor illuminating the blood on his face and some swelling. “You said we are friends and I don’t want to be friends!”

“Oh… ok. I get it. I really do. I mean, how could you ever want to be friends with someone like…. like me. The chubby one. I’m not really anyone’s type. Even as a friend. It’s understandable. I’ll… I’ll just go and leave you. I bet some pretty girl will give you all her attention.” She lifted herself ready to walk away from his life and it terrified him. He couldn’t lost her again.

“NO!” he yelled in frustration

“YES! NO! STAY! GO! What the hell is your problem Jason!?” oh, he pushed her. “I’m done! I’m tired! You keep playing with my mind! I know I’m not worthy of anyone’s love all right! Thanks for the reminder! I’m not,….. right! My body is not right!”

“SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!” with one stride he was next to her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her to his chest. “Just shut the fuck up!” he whispered against her hair feeling her tense “can’t you see? Can’t you see how I feel about you?”

“Jace? I don’t …..” she tried to pull away and look at him but he didn’t let her afraid that her eyes would make him halt the confession he was making.

“You keep talking about your body and how you don’t think you are worth loving because of it. I get that feeling. I fucking get that feeling. You keep repeating that all the ladies want me, but all I see are eyes on Dick. He’s freaking perfect. Mister Grayson.” He hissed and she was now truly afraid to move a single muscle “As for me? All those scars? I think I am monster. If you think you are not worthy of love then…. Than what can I say?”

“Stop it! Stop it immediately!” finally she freed herself from his hands “You are an imbecile! You are not your scars! You are not the way you look! You are …. You. The smart, handsome boy. The nerd. The literature lover. I see nothing more than that.”

“How can you be such a hypocrite? You praise me and hate yourself?”

“Cause I see you differently than you see yourself.”

“Why?”

“You know why. You are smart. “

“You want to tell me something?” he smirked getting closer and hugging her once again, only this time she hugged him back.

“Now you are getting cocky, huh? A second ago you were about to cry your heart out….”

“I hate you.” his grip grew tighter on her hips and she shifted not feeling good with him feeling all her surplus "stop fidgeting!"

"I'm not comfortable with ....."

"You will learn to be. I'll make sure of it. But for now, I still hate you."

“Mhm, right. And that is exactly why I have nothing to say to you, Todd.”

“Maybe not now. We can work on it though.“ he let out a single laugh and she joined him.

And just like that, the air seemed clearer for both of them as they stood on the roof of Wayne Manor simply holding each other with no words needed.

If only they knew all the family were watching them, checking out who won the bet……

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