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xoxo-teddybear · 4 years ago

Note

Hey idk if I’ve asked for this before but can you do nsfw Bakugo x fem reader fic, where you do work studies with him. He’s obviously going to be a little older 3-6 years, and you two have know each other since you were kids and he’s always just been a little nicer to you and cared about you more than others, and when you are working with him you get hurt and he flips out. You’re really confused and your like “wtf why do you care this isn’t affecting your job” and he gets mad your not getting the hint that he cares about you in a “not friendly” way, he ends up tch’ing and just says frick it and confesses that he has feelings for you and you’re just like cool I reciprocate and he’s like “with”... it just gets frisky from there... Idk if this is like a thing you might be interested in writing about, but like it just an idea😃... Anyways I love your work please keep it up🥺(sorry for any grammatical errors I’m writing this at 2:30am)

What Took So Long? - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugo x f!reader

Warnings: NSFW, f!receiving, mutual pining, angst, injury, fluff, cursing, all the good stuff

BAKUGOU”S MASTERLIST

Summary: you and Katsuki have been close friends for forever, how long is it gonna take to realize both your love is mutual?

Growing up, you and Katsuki got along really well. You knew him before he got his quirk so you got to see his non-egotistical self. You saw the him that was kind and caring and he always looked out for you, always took care of you, always was there for you. In your eyes, you thought he thought it was in a big brother kinda way. Oh how that changed once you both became teenagers.

You both made it into UA, of course at different times, but you still kept in touch. You guys hung out like, everyday! It was always wake up, FaceTime, go to school, text throughout the day, and meet and go to either your house or his. It was like there was nobody else in the world except you two.

Throughout the years, you developed a small crush on the blonde boy. What went from a small crush turned into love. To you, it was unreciprocated love. He was 3 years older than you! He had to have seen you as a little sister. It only made sense! When you came to that terribly incorrect realization, you pushed back your feelings. What you had with Katsuki was special! You’re friendship meant the world to you. It didn’t matter if you wanted more, what you had was already perfect, there was no way it could’ve gotten better than this.

—

This. These moments. These memories being made with Katsuki kept you sane. As you both cuddled up and watched a trashy reality tv show in your room on your computer, you both threw popcorn at the screen at the cringe scenes.

“BoooooOOOOO!!” You both said as you threw a handful of the buttery snack. You both laughed at the moment as you settled down again. With you both laying on each other, your head on his, while his own rested on your shoulder, you were sure both of you would get neck pains the next day.

“So,” Katsuki started up a conversation, “how’s your third year at UA?”

“Ugh, don’t get me started. Classes got crazy hard outta nowhere. BUT, lucky for me, I have a UA graduate to help me out!” You said while nudging his arm.

“No way teddy bear, you’re finishing that on your own. As a graduate, that means I don’t gotta deal with that bullshit anymore.” He said as he popped some pieces of the snack into his mouth. With that, you pouted. Something he noticed and thought was insanely adorable. He poked your plump lips and told you, “hey, I’m helping you by letting you do your work study at my agency. You’re very welcome for that.”

“Helping? Suuukkiiii, you barely let me go out and fight. How am I supposed to get experience and actually do my work study if I don’t...you know..WORK?” You whined out. Katsuki had always been avoiding this topic. Yeah, he let you get your credits by going to his agency, but he never let you do any real hero work other than paperwork. Don’t get me wrong, you loved hanging out with him as much as you could, but it was beginning to get boring not doing anything at the agency.

“Y/N, no. You’re getting enough experience. Paper work is a big part in the life of a Pro,” he argued.

“Yeah, well saving people and actually getting out there in the field is a bigger part in the life of a pro.” You rebuttled as you flopped down next to him. You looked at him with puppy eyes and he knew what was coming.

“No.”

“Pleaseee Suki!”

“No.”

“Pleaseee!!”

“Nope.”

“Sukiiiiiii!!” You whined while tugging at his arm. He sighed before answering.

“One job, WITH ME, and that’s all you get.” He said while staring at you with a stern look. You smiled and jumped in the air.

“YESSSS!!”

—

So now here you are, on job number whatever. You weren’t sure how many you’ve actually been on because ever since your first job with Katsuki was a huge success, he let you join him more and more. You were almost like a partner to him now, fighting crime together. Except this time...things went a little south.

As the villain struck you down mid air with his quirk, you fell to the ground with a now burned arm. Katsuki saw red. No fucking way. No way in HELL is he going to let some shit faced freak bring harm to his teddy bear, his world, his best friend, and the love of his life. Yup. Katsuki Bakugou fell for his best friend. But could you blame him? You knew him better than anyone else, you guys got along so well, you were absolutely gorgeous and he was sure he’d give his life for you. 100%. So when this scum bag thought he could try and ruin you, he saw red. Blasting him a thousand times over and once he was sure he was out cold, battered, bloodied, and bruised he ran to check on you.

You were sitting on the ground holding your left arm where the burn mark was. Your costume was tattered and your head felt like it was gonna blow. Katsuki came along and didn’t really help with that all too much.

“YOU FUCKING DUMBASS!” He screamed. Oh, the throbbing your head had only increased with his booming voice.

“You see?! This is exactly why I hate bringing you along! You’re always gonna get hurt!” He said as he picked you up off the ground to help you stand.

“Of course I’m gonna get hurt Dynamight, my job as a hero includes a little beating every now and then for the sake and safety of others!” You replied, raising your voice as well.

“You’re NOT a hero Y/N!” He said as he reached out for your arm.

“Yet! Not yet at least! But I will be!” You replied while pulling away from him. His eyes were shaken and it was clear he was mad. You pushing his buttons didn’t help soothe his anger either.

“NO YOU WONT. Y/N ITS SO OBVIOUS YOU’D MAKE A SHIT HERO! YOU ALREADY GOT HURT ON SUCH A SIMPLE JOB, DO YOU HONESTLY THINK ANYBODY WOULD BE WILLING TO DEPEND ON YOU FOR THEIR SAFETY?!?!?” Bakugou heard the words he said and he thought he was doing the right thing. Granted, he knew the delivery was bad, but his message was in there. He didn’t want Y/N to be hurt. If she died on the battle field, Katsuki wouldn’t know what to do with himself. Y/N can’t be a hero, for her safety and his sanity. He loved her too much to have to watch her take beating after beating. However, Y/N took it in a completely different way.

“Are you trying to say I can’t be a good hero?!” You asked filled with anger and hurt.

“Y/N,”

“It’s H/N, Dynamight. That’s the name you’ll address me as for when we’re on the job. That’s the name you’ll have to get used to because I will be a hero!” You exclaimed.

“You can’t be a hero Y/N! You’re gonna get hurt! You always get hurt! You’d be more of a burden on a mission instead of an advantage! So just stop trying ‘Cuz you’re never gonna make it!” He screamed at you. Is this what he really thought of you. That you were weak and wouldn’t be able to do jack shit? As your eyes began to water, you walked away from him in silence.

“Y/N...where are you going?” He asked you as he followed.

“Recovery girl. She’ll heal me up and I’ll be perfectly fine.” You simply stated.

“At least let me help you,” Bakugou said as he tried to reach out to you, but you only stepped away from him again, which made his heart hurt a little.

“Don’t touch me, Bakugou. I’ll be fine on my own.” You said.

“Bakugou? Who the fuck are you talking to teddy bear?” He said as he got all up in your face. You only rolled your eyes and stepped to the side. You used your quirk to get into the air and travel faster. In the dust, you left behind a confused and hurt Katsuki.

“Uhh....Okay! See you later for movie night!” He yelled out as he watched you fly off. You’d still show up, right? Yeah, you’d show. You always spent everyday together after school and work so it only made sense...right?

—

Well he was wrong. Really wrong. It’s been a week since you last spoke to him, the longest it’s ever been, and he was starting to get into a depressing cycle. Wake up, call Y/N. No reply. Get ready, spam her. No reply. Go to work, text Y/N throughout the day. No reply. Get out of work, go home, shower, eat dinner, do whatever while stalking your social media, go to bed, spam a little more, call twice more, and still. No reply. He misses his teddy bear.

Y/N doesn’t even go to her work study anymore. She’s been doing everything she could to avoid Bakugou, and he’s noticed it all too well. He still gave her the credits, he wanted her to pass of course, but he was also tempted to stop doing that just so she could show up and see him. Thankfully he didn’t.

Now here lies Bakugou Katsuki, watching a movie by himself again, hoping his crush and best friend would show up. But again, like every other night for the past week, she hasn’t shown. The end credits roll in and Bakugou sighs as he looks down, thinking back to all he said.

‘Y/N ITS SO OBVIOUS YOU’D MAKE A SHIT HERO! ... DO YOU HONESTLY THINK ANYBODY WOULD BE WILLING TO DEPEND ON YOU FOR THEIR SAFETY?! ... you’re never gonna make it!’

Bakugou flopped down onto his bed.

“Great idea Katsuki, tell your dream girl she won’t ever reach her goals. That’ll win her heart,” he sarcastically said aloud as he cringed at his own thoughts. Bakugou just let a few tears fall, before rolling over and going to bed. He had patrol in the morning, maybe it’ll get his mind off of Y/N.

—

Orrrr maybe not. Because here he was, Pro-hero Dynamight, following around his 18 year old crush as she walked home after getting some coffee from their favorite cafe. Should he have been on patrol keeping the city safe? Yes. But was he going to take this chance to talk to Y/N to fix this shit? Yes.

Once Y/N made it to her doorstep she heard a voice behind her.

“Glad you made it home safe..Maybe we could pick up on that trashy reality show now that we’re both here,” Katsuki said while trying to joke around. Y/N only rolled her eyes at the hero and attempted to put her key into the lock. Katsuki was quick to react though. He snatched her keys out of her hand before speaking again.

“Y/N please! I can’t live like this! I can’t live without you in my life. You’ve been absent for a week and it’s been driving me insane!” He said while holding onto your wrist.

“Katsuki, give me back my keys.” You calmly said.

“Y/N, just hear me out.” He also calmly said.

“And listen to you say what Katsuki?! That I’ll never be a hero? That even if I was I’d be a terrible one? That I should just give up and stop trying?! Don’t worry, I already have. So now, let me go-“ Bakugou shut you up with a kiss. You were shocked and froze up. He kissed you with such passion and you melted into it, closing your eyes and letting him hold you as he pleased. He speperated from you before speaking again.

“You are not a terrible hero. Y/N you’re one of the strongest people I know. If anything, you’d be a better hero than me...but if you got hurt, I don’t know what I would do.” He said looking down. You turned your head in confusion at his small confession.

“Katsuki?..”

“When you got hurt that day, I was livid. I almost killed that guy, just for scorching your arm. There are so many worse things that could happen to you when you do become a pro and the fact that I freaked out so bad over a little burn is insane! I just want you to be safe. I can’t let you risk your life when I need you hear with me the most...... I can’t let the girl of my dreams get hurt.” He said while placing his forehead on yours.

“When I become a hero, I’d be taking on an oath to put others before my own. And that’s what I choose to do. I’m gonna get banged up from time to time and I understand you’re worried about me, but you have to trust me when I saw I’ll always come back to you. I love you Katsuki.” With that, Bakugou slowly moved in to give you another kiss. This time, you kissed him back, letting your hands travel to his soft, golden hair as he pressed you up against the door.

You heard him unlock your door during the kiss, and as he separated he spoke.

“Let me show you just how much I love you Y/N.” He pushed open the door and continued to make out with you. Kicking the door to close it, he pushed you up against the wall. There he picked you up, and groped your ass, earning a moan from you. With your mouth open, he slipped his tongue in, tasting all of you. He walked to your bedroom, kicking open the door this time, and shutting it the same way as before. He dropped you onto the bed as you both giggled in excitement. You noticed something though. He was still in hero gear.

“Shouldnt you be on patrol, Dynamight?” You asked as he came up to kiss your neck and you pulled him in closer.

“Dynamight has something better to do right now, Teddy Bear. And you know what?” He asked while putting his face right infront of yours.

“Tell me what, hero.”

“That’s the exact name I want you screaming.” He smirked. He tore off his top and mask before taking off your own. He then attacked your breast. He pulled off your bra before taking a second to admire your perfect curves. He squeezed a mound in one hand before taking in the other one with his mouth, biting at your nipple. Leaving hickies all over your chest, he was proud to see the purple marks that now adorn your upper body. He pulled down your pants and kissed your inner thighs. Right at the center was his treat. He pulled at your panties and stuffed them in his pocket.

“Hey!” You said after you noticed what he did.

“My little souvenir. Don’t worry about it princess, I’ll buy you more.” He kissed up on your legs and saw your arousal glistening. He licked his lips as his ruby eyes dialated. He was excited. He took an experimental lick as you moaned at the feeling and he savored the sweet taste. He could help himself, he dove right in for more. As his tongue lapped up against your clit, you moaned out in pleasure.

“Mm...yess Suki! Oh fuck right there..” you said as you pulled on his hair. He smacked your thigh, receiving a yelp from you.

“That’s not my name, princess~” he smirked against your pussy. He stuck his tongue in you and you cried out even more.

“F-Fuck! Dynamight, pleasee...more!” He squeezed your ass in approval as your legs began to shake. He knew what was coming and used his fingers to rub against your bud.

“Fuck..cum for me princess, cum in my mouth and let your hero taste you.” He said as your squirted in his face and Bakugou suck your clit, collecting all your sweet nectar.

“What a good girl,” he said as he came up to kiss you, letting you taste yourself on his tongue.

“You ready for the main event?” He asked while giving you this cocky grin.

“Please..” you whined out.

“Please what, princess? You’re gonna need to be specific.” He knew what he was doing. He wanted you to beg. And you were going to do it.

“Mm..Please Dynamight! Please fuck me with your cock! Please fuck my pussy!” You begged. He smiled and smacked your ass.

“Good girl.” He said as he pulled down his hero slacks and stepped out of the material. Here he was, Pro-hero Dynamight and your now ex best friend completely stripped infront of you. His member hanging out with a hard erection and your eyes went wide at the length. He noticed this and tilted your chin up so your E/C diamonds could meet his eyes. “Don’t worry, it’ll fit,” he kindly said.

“Doubt it,” you sarcastically replied.

“Then we’ll make it fit, Princess.” You bit your lip in excitement. He pumped his cock a few times before placing the tip at your entrance. He rubbed his tip up and down you slit as he spoke.

“I’ve wanted this for so long princess, and now I’m finally gonna make you mine.” He said before he slammed in as you both cried out in ecstasy.

“Oh-oh my god..” you whimpered. He peppered your face in kisses to distract you from the pain. Once you adjusted to his size, you begged him to move.

“Please..more.”

With your permission, he began to thrust in and out of your heat, with hard, slow strokes. Both of you moaning as the sensation. The way he filled you up completely was euphoric. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss, moaning into it as he picked up his pace a little more. You could hear his grunts and soft moans as he sped up, enjoying the way your pussy held him tight.

“Mm...Harder, Dynamight...F-Faster..please!” You whined. Katsuki listened, and he listened well. His strokes went deeper, his speed increased, and he fucked you harder than ever as he went up to your ear.

“Yeah...you want it harder?...deeper?....Mm fuck, faster princess? You like it rough? You like how Dynamight fucks your tight little cunt?” He asked while you cried out in pure pleasure.

“Y-yesss. Oh my god yes Dynamight. Fuck me just like this...ahhh!” Bakugou grabbed onto your ass with both his hands as he pummeled into you. You gripped his hair and he moaned at the feeling. He sucked on one of your tits as he looked at you. God, you were gorgeous. The blush that covered your face, you mouth hanging open with a slight smile as moans fall from it, and your eyes looking up like you’ve been fucked stupid.

“Oh..I’m gonna cum! Please, I’m gonna cum!” You moaned out.

“Not yet Teddy bear. Hold it,” he said as he gave your ass a hard smack and pulled out of you. You whined at the loss of his cock and looked at him with begging eyes.

“Turn around princess. I want you on all fours.” He simply said as he continued to pump his cock.” You moaned at the sight of it and smirked to yourself. He watched as you dragged your hand to your center and began playing with yourself.

“And if I don’t listen?” You smiled as you moaned at the way your fingers rubbed at your pussy. Bakugou grabbed your hand and got in your face before you could go any further.

“Then the brat who wants to cum so bad will cum for me 100 times over as her punishment.” He said as a threat but you only took it the best way possible.

“Sounds fun..Katsuki.” With that, he yanked your hand away from yourself and flipped you over before slamming back into you from behind and smacking your ass again and again.

“Ohh fuck...Ah...you think you’re funny, huh y-you brat? Let’s see how funny you are when I fuck you so dumb the only thing you’ll know is my name.” He said as he pounded into you. Your cried were muffled as you screamed into the mattress.

“Don’t do that, princess, I wanna hear your pretty cries,” he said as he yanked your hair, lifting your head up. He grabbed onto your neck and kissed you as you both loudly moaned into it. He squeezed your neck ever so lightly but tightly as he placed his forehead on yours to look down at where you both meet and become one. He sped up at the sight.

“I bet you love this. I bet you love having Dynamight’s cock deep inside you. Can you feel me? Huh? Feel me in your guts? Feel my big dick deep inside you?” He asked as he looked back at you.

“Y-Yesss! Oh f-fuck...ohhh so big!” Bakugou smiled at your comments and felt you squeeze around him.

“S-shit...you gonna cum? Gonna come on this big dick?” He asked as his hand traveled to you pussy, rubbing at your clit.

“Do it! Do it now, cum on my cock!” You squirted around his cock and Bakugou continued to fuck you through your orgasm and you cried out, and your upper body fell to the mattress. His hands grabbed at your waist as he pounded your pussy. His eyes rolled to the back of his head and bit his bottom lip as he threw his head back moaning out.

“Fuck! Ohh f-fuck, I’m gonna cum. You want my cum princess? Can I fill your pussy with my cum?” He asked while looking down at you. You had little tears poking at the ends of your eyes due to the mass amount of pleasure and Bakugou came at the sight. His thrust stopped as his hips met your ass in a final push, while his cum went deeper into your pussy, filling you to the brim. You both cried out as he finished and he kept himself in there for a little until you both caught your breath. He kissed up your spine to your cheek as he pulled out and layed down next to you.

As he pulled you closer to him he could hear your soft voice.

“A-amazing...Suki.” You said as you nuzzled into his neck. He only smiled as he realized you forgot.

“I hope so, cuz we’re not done teddy bear.” He said while smirking. Your eyes went wide as you looked at him in shock.

“Your punishment. Remember? I want you cumming on my cock a 100 times over. I don’t even want you to be able to walk for the next week.” He said while looking you right in his eyes. You took on his little challenge and straddled his waist before pumping his cock a few times and hovering over it. He watched the whole thing and licked his lips at you.

“Fine then Dynamight,” you said as his hands traveled to your hips. “Show me what you got,” you said as you slammed back down on him releasing cries from both you and him. This was gonna be a fun, long night.

—

After rounds 2, 3, 4, and 5, you both lie on your bed completely fucked out as you held onto each other. Bakugou was contempt as he held you under his chin and thought you were asleep. You were only resting your eyes with a soft smile on your face. Bakugou kissed the top of your head before softly speaking.

“I’m so sorry for everything I said teddy bear. You are the most amazing person in the world. I just don’t want you to be hurt. I wanna protect you for the rest of my life. I love you with my everything and I really want you to officially be mine. When you wake up, I’m gonna tell you all of this.” Bakugou sighed. Now it was your turn to speak.

“You don’t have to wait Suki,” you softly spoke as Bakugou looked down at you in shock. “I already heard it all, and I want to officially be yours too.” You said while looking right at him.

“Heh..I thought you passed out,” he teased.

“Well then I guess you’re not as good as you thought, Dynamight.” You teased back.

“You tryna say I didn’t fuck you good enough princess?! Cuz I still got enough for one more round that’ll be sure to shut your mouth real quick!” You only laughed at his little outburst.

“I’m good Suki. Trust me, you did more than enough.” You said.

“You’re damn right. And by the way you were screaming my name, I’m sure of it.” He proudly stated.

“Shut up,” you rolled your eyes and softly spoke. You both gently laughed at the teasing and embraced each other once more, but this time a little tighter.

After a few peaceful moments of silence, you heard him speak up.

“So..you’re being serious about really wanting to be mine..right?” Bakugou asked with worry laced in his voice.

“Of course I’m serious Suki. I don’t wanna be anybody else’s but yours.” You said in the cutest voice. Bakugou blushed at the confession.

“Ok then teddy bear. You’re mine now, and I’m never gonna let you go again.” He whispered. “I love you Y/N.”

“I love you too Suki.”

—

“WHERE WERE YOU?!?? A BANK WAS ROBBED, MULTIPLE PEOPLE WERE MUGGED, AND 2 VILLAIN BRAWLS BROKE OUT ON YOUR PATROL MAN!! ARE YOU GOOD?!?” Red riot screamed into the phone.

“Yeah, yeah I’m good. I’m great actually, a lot of good stuff happened on my patrol.” Bakugou said as he drank from his glass of water.

“Dude. Seriously?” The red head said in disbelief. What could possibly make up for all the crimes committed on his best friend’s watch?!

“Seriously. Gotta go, talk to you later shitty hair.” Katsuki said as he hung up the phone. As he finished cooking, he brought two plates of food to the couch for Y/N and himself. He had to carry Y/N there.

“What was all that about?” Y/N asked as she took a sip from her cup and turning away from the trashy reality show you both were watching.

“Just another reason why you’d make a better hero than me, teddy bear.” You awed at the compliment and cuddled into him. If only you knew how serious he was being.

Kirishima would know. For he was the one running around like a mad man trying to stop all the crimes committed due to his best friend being absent thanks to his horny desires.

A/N: YAYYY MY FIRST REQUEST! I really enjoyed writing this one and I’m sorry if it wasn’t exactly what you were looking for. I’m hope you enjoyed it tho! Feel free to drop more request for me to do!💗🧸

P.S. New series coming on the way!

591 notes · View notes

electricbluebutterflies · 4 years ago

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Hi!! Saw that promp list you reblogged, so I'm shooting my shot for Nina + Matthias with this one: 'Learning what the other person likes sexually' thank you 😊

(Also...idk if you'd accept 1 or 2 more requests for this otp? Loved the prompts but I dont wanna spam your inbox. 😜)

I kinda love them... obvious smut ahead and also on ao3.

She’s broken him. He’s not sure how much he minds.

Look, objectively the fact that he is stuck in the frozen middle of nowhere and owes his continued survival to a witch who will not shut up and seduced him more out of boredom than anything that seems like actual desire on her part is… almost all of his worst nightmares come true. But all of that established and ignored, Nina is not the worst possible person to be stuck with. She’s beautiful, occasionally funny in a way that breaks the cultural barriers between them, knows what she wants…

They’ve stopped for the night, no closer to civilization than they were when they woke up but not going around in circles yet – and he’s left subtle markings at each fishing hut they’ve temporarily occupied, he would know – and he knows what happens next, and this time he wants to do better.

Nina is, he has learned over the past few days, a very particular combination of insatiable and bossy. When she decides she wants, and apparently physical activities are how she deals with her everything, she makes herself very clear and pins him to whatever passes for a bed wherever they are. (Or, very briefly yesterday, a wall.) And while Matthias is a willing enough participant in his own corruption, he can’t push away the feeling that the power dynamic is the truly wrong thing here. A man is not supposed to be passive, even when faced with… all of that. But as it is, he’s not sure he’ll get the chance to change it up.

And sure enough, after an improvised meal of probably-undercooked fish, she reaches out. Puts her mouth on his and starts taking kisses, and he’s so powerless and so into it and-

“Stop,” he breathes, unsure if the word even comes out.

To his great surprise, she freezes. She’s still clinging to him, but not actively doing anything more. “You okay? Did I do something-“

“You need to rest,” he murmurs, adding a little endearment in his native language. Yep, she’s definitely corrupted him. “If you want, let me give.”

Nina rolls her eyes. “Are you sure?!”

“I need to learn how to do this… properly.”

The look on her face is the most amused horror he’s ever seen and oh he almost loves her for it. “I am not passive. You do realize that, right?”

“You don’t have to be. I don’t know… tell me what to do.”

She takes a step back. “Alright. How detailed instructions do you want?”

“Tell me how to make you happy.”

Nina takes another step back and shifts her body into an open position. “Alright. Undress me. You’ve seen how all of this works…”

He has, and he steps forward and tries. The buttons of her vest are so tiny, and of course she’d done up all of them, and it takes a frighteningly long time for his fingers to get them all undone. Then her shirt, also made challenging with the laces done up too tight and oh the sight of her curves underneath it is distracting and unfair and-

Somehow, he figures out all the knots and gets it off her, gets rewarded with the sight of her soft skin and pointy breasts. Even this would be enough, and he-

“Put your mouth… somewhere.”

If nothing else, Matthias is good at following orders. Even if they are given by a… no, at this point he doesn’t think she’s a witch. Not like he was taught to believe. Definitely not normal, but far more human than he expected.

Not that it matters, he reminds himself as he leans down and tries to kiss her breasts. She’s even paler there than she is elsewhere, and her body is warm and unfair. She squirms a little, but the noises she makes are happy enough and she hasn’t yelled at him so he’s hopefully not screwing this up too badly and-

On instinct, he puts his mouth around one of her nipples and licks, and her noises turn closer to what she apparently sounds like in bliss. He’s still learning how that works, but if this helps get her there…

“Okay, I was just going to have you straight-up fuck me but nevermind you’re actually good with your mouth,” she says, yanking on his hair to pull him up and off. “This still…?”

“Yes. Keep showing me.”

“I’m not showing you, I’m trying to un-repress you,” she laughs. “Undo my skirt and get me on the bed.”

He does, and without being told he knows what she wants next. Well, this may be the strangest experience yet with her, but…

The space between her thighs is beautiful, swollen pink instead of ivory, already shiny with her warmth. He pokes around with his fingers – this, at least, she has let him do before – and makes a plan. If he’s wrong then he’s wrong and he still expects she’ll get mad at him at some point during this, but until then he-

“Head. Down. Now.” From this angle she looks magnificent, and he can see her desperation in a different way. “Keep going unless I grab your ear, no matter what else I do.”

In the recent past, in the time before she happened to him, all of this was foreign to him. It was, and remains, improper for a man of his status to know too much about the sacred beauty of women before marrying one. In that way he is ruined now, and he cannot imagine any of this being so good with some equally innocent creature. This one is so much better. This one is-

She kicks his shoulder, more out of annoyance than wanting to hurt. “I know I’m cute but get on with it.”

He complies, pressing his mouth to her outer petals. He is well aware he has too much scruff right now, and that might hurt where she’s sensitive… no, might hurt some lesser woman, won’t make this one bat an eyelash. Nina is different and Nina is herself. And she is perfect, he thinks as instinct takes over and he starts to lick. Beautiful wet nightmare.

This is a first attempt, not perfection. His desire to make her happy counts for something, he hopes as he tries different things, because that’s about the only part of this in his favor. This act she’s suggested is so new, something he’s surprised she even wants, and to have his world reduced to her womanly parts is… perfect for him, honestly. He is aware of his own body responding to it, but she hasn’t asked for that yet and maybe she won’t tonight and-

As he is learning is normal for her, Nina falls apart with a few breathless noises. Apparently this also includes clenching her thighs tight enough his head hurts and more of her sweet warmth dripping onto his tongue. For a moment he’s not sure he can breathe either, and-

The pressure lessens and instead of grabbing his ear like she said, she pulls him up to her level by the shoulders.

“Did I… please you?”

She rolls over to cover his face in wet kisses. “You need to have more faith in your abilities. That was nice.”

“What… what now?”

“Do you still want to have me?” she asks, putting her hand between his legs.

As if that’s a question. Matthias has been able to ignore his own body until now, but the slightest touch makes him squirm and he’s still fully dressed and she is unfair and-

“Always,” he breathes. Might as well admit it. “Is that alright? You already…”

“Great thing about having the parts I do is I can fall apart multiple times,” she shrugs like that should be too obvious. “I am perfectly fine with it if you are.”

“Please.”

“Good. Undress for me and… I wanna see what you do.”

It no longer feels awkward to feel her eyes on him as he sheds his layers. Her expression is appreciative, and he’s never thought too much about what his body might look like to other people but clearly the only person who matters right now is into it. Years after her, he thinks, if there is an after her, he will always remember this as he looks at his skin. Impossible perfect woman almost making him happy.

And sure enough, as he’d both hoped and feared, his prick is in full form. And to think he’d expected it would hurt her the first time she wanted him. There’s no fear of that now, but a near-inevitability he won’t last long enough to give her what she wants and-

He looks at her, spread out for him and waiting, and he knows whatever he does will be enough.

Soft beautiful his, he repeats as he maneuvers his body over her. Perfect woman, as he lines up his prick. More than he had ever dreamed of, as he covers her.

She feels perfect around him, and he rolls his hips against hers and tries to find a pattern the way she does when she covers him and he is so sure he’s doing it wrong but she keeps taking kisses anyways so maybe not. Perfect, and he feels himself tense up and no too soon he hasn’t given her everything he hasn’t-

He falls apart anyways, best intentions be damned, boneless on top of her even as their bodies separate.

“I didn’t mean to-“

“Do I look like I’m complaining?”

No, he thinks as he maneuvers his body so most of his weight is off of her, no she does not. If anything, Nina looks the happiest he’s seen her, pink and glowing and content. “You look beautiful,” he says before he talks himself out of it.

“Good.” She shakes her head, her hair flying everywhere. “Are you… was all of that okay?”

She gets under his skin like no one else ever has, and he almost loves her for it and he is undone. “I don’t know if I did it right.”

“There is no right. Not with this. There’s only… what I like may be different from what some other person likes, and each time you’re with someone new you get to figure it all out again.”

“That’s not what I-“

“You made me feel good. As long as you felt good too… that’s the important part.”

And he did, he lets himself feel as they maneuver themselves into a comfortable position for sleep. Dangerous woman. He is ruined for anyone else now, and… maybe that’s alright.

#ebf talks to anons #helnik #ebf writes fic

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resonanteye · 4 years ago

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via https://resonanteye.net/horror-movie-reviews-day-one-the-horror-of-everyday-life/

horror movie reviews: day one, the horror of everyday life

a series of reviews, two each day, of horror movies.

day one, movie one: # alive.

1: half the people are crazed and trying to kill the other half of the people, panic and mass casualties, violent infection, etc – yes, it’s 2020-2021 thank you, continue

2: infected people trying to get in and infect people who are quarantined, aggressive mental illness -yes, yes

3: your neighbors are all worse than you ever knew -yes. yes

4: cops eating each other -please do go on

5: oh no several days how will you ever survive with only ramen

two whole days of lockdown

6: so you’re warned to have plenty of food and water, yet you don’t immediately fill up the bathtub at least, or the sinks. and you don’t go into the zombie neighbor’s abandoned apartment to see if there’s food

7: too much tech, not enough walkie talkies. I doubt.

8: I get it, people expect the end of the world to be like, a switch flipped, but no. this shit draaaags forever

9: the golf club is reminiscent of funny games. maybe an intentional nod to his change in mental state

10: slapstick!

11: finally, foraging.

12: the Mormons are at the door

13: we have skipped two weeks, without water or food?

14: and finally the lights out- wouldn’t that go before the running water?

15: oh the melodrama. don’t be a moron, but this magical dude has been alive a month without water

16: Kim Yu-bin is keeping track of her shit. I bet he gets her killed. nice waterworld callback with watering the plant.

17: of course he’s that stupid, he’s the protagonist and you’re a competent woman in a movie. how else would it justify you endangering yourself for him?

18: oh, wait. he HAS water? from where?

19: finally the tech is worth a damn. and she’s feeding him, which is ok because yes helping each other matters but

20: ok yes the tech is nice, good point, this is a scene from hackers vs zombies. slapstick is fine. zombie big mad. give me back my hand you bastards

21: Jun-u. I had been ignoring his name the entire movie. This is a bad habit of mine with zombie stuff.

22: finally some decent fuckin plot movement. there’s kids, in a good movie he’d have to kill one. instead, a treasure trove of all the survival gear. it’s handy when someone else did the preparation FOR you. I mean damn

23: oooh she’s only alive to help HIM. what a fucking surprise

24: reminds me of the pandemic “share a window” website crossed with a gentle, normal mukbang (not a weird fetish feeder one)

25: the zombies are going hooome. the zombies are going hooooooome

26: ok yes sounds scary, looked scary but it seems like there’s only five of them at her door

27: she’s skilled. of course. melee fighter. I like that this isn’t the dumb-ass slow zombies, nor the superhuman ones. just regular people.

28: another pile up!

29: don’t drink koolaid from strangers, but spam? NO NOT THAT EITHER. of course there will be cannibals in this that aren’t sick, that’s another nice callback (the road) (dead alive). I’m still holding out hope a kid zombie gets killed, although it’s unlikely at this point.

30: holy fuckin generational-divide-monologue for the ages

31: oh damn a gunshot in South Korea.

32: look, Kim, I wasn’t given any backstory for you, but I really want you to outlive “regular dumb guy”. the suicide subplot is going nowhere and we both know it

33: it’s never a good look to be fighting zombie hordes on the stairs. I don’t know why, it just isn’t good. just stay in the damn apartment. please.

34: regular Joe, you are doing the right thing by staying behind, keep that up.

35: FUCK THIS SHITTY APARTMENT

36: finally, machine guns. sorry, I’m American. I’ve been waiting for an hour and a half for logic to set in

37: where are they even going? she’s cooler than him, why isn’t she getting messages? so I guess his Instagram saved her? is that a subversiveon of what I’ve been complaining about? I think it is.

7/10 excellent slapstick, callbacks, just enough humor without ruining the narrative. subversive ending in that he’s only in the movie for the sake of saving her life, and neither died. points deducted for lack of depth to the woman in the film, too much depth for the guy, and for showing us a lack of water then changing that enough to keep someone alive for 20 days. (also, he didn’t even fill up the sink, the hell)

number two, day one: condemned

this movie is about squatting, a lifestyle I’m too familiar with. let’s see how close to the mark it gets. oh, and zombie infection stuff. that too.

1: the supe is always the strangest thing in any building in NYC. always. this isn’t a narrator. this is realism.

2: when will rich kids learn that poverty isn’t an aesthetic? when will something that poor people authentically live through, be safe from commodification and the thievery of the privileged? where does class/cultural appropriation end? why are people using their yacht money on a tiny fuckin house? find out on the next episode of generation x, when we discuss the occup- wait no- this is just a zombie flick. sorry about that

3: I know she’s saying other shit on the phone but all I hear is “the rain was such a blessing”

4: montage is always good with good music over it. going anywhere in the city is basically a montage in reality

5: cigarettes cost 14 bucks in New York holy fuckin shit I’m old

6: ominous: “what could be worse than where you are now”, teens having sex, neon lighting, drainpipe footage, “what difference is a day gonna make”, “I won’t make the same mistake like I did in Vladivostok”

7: this bondage shit on the third floor is giving me a real, serious flashback to a job I did briefly which paid incredibly well. every time these characters show up I have a flashback, every time I watch this.

8: every character in this movie is someone I’ve met. every fuckin one. even cookie. I hate that and love it at the same time. I don’t know if you’ve ever lived in bad beat city but this is accuracy.

9: the glitch hallucination is wonderful. don’t show me people’s bad dreams, though. it’s a waste of film. especially someone’s dream who doesn’t know that squats don’t get the garbage picked up. at least he was gentle about her tourist status. (yes, that was fucking gentle. she’s visiting, but they LIVE there. he’ll show you the life of the mind)

10: the colors in this movie reminds me of Mermaid in a Manhole, an amazing movie itself- this is a compliment

11: yes punk means you puke and say “did you SEE that” yes it does

12: the way sickness spreads in close, unmaintained quarters is accurate too. these old buildings were originally tenements and were notorious for being built in a way that contributed to outbreaks of diseases. ny poverty history

13: the glitch used as stand-in for visual mirage is again amazing and continues to be throughout

14: that walk up all the stairs after a day at work to complain about the horror of everyday life, with a back crack and sore feet.

15: the cops are also accurate

16: the plot takes a nice strong left turn here, and it’s perfection. since the development of the plot cookie was leading us to doesn’t matter to the people in this building, it’s better to truncate it. and then we can get to business.

17: yes. if you die in a squat, you’re getting rolled in a carpet and left blocks away. you’ve got to. nobody’s gonna kill you but nobody’s going to be on the street over your ass either.

18: guitar axe skyline lightning. that may be a summary of the whole movie.

19: absolutely pitch perfect “you ruined new york city” rant for the ages

I used to live there

20: if the building wasn’t shit, this would be a nice Shining callback

21: FAWKKING

22: this movie just will not let you have any expected outcome. it’s brilliant.

23: I’ve lived in a brownstone that had a cellar which connected to every building on the block and beyond. that was in Philly, but the construction of this landscape is perfect.

full disclosure- I own this DVD and have watched it a lot. it’s one of my favorite movies, structurally and visually, and I think it’s one of the best horror movies made this decade.

#true stories

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scottymcgeesterwrites · 4 years ago

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Final Fantasy VIII Review

(A serious review this time, without spoilers.)

Year: 1999

Original Platform: PlayStation One

Also available on: PC, PlayStation Store

Version I Played: PlayStation One

Synopsis:

Squall Leonhart is a new recruit of SeeD, a mercenary team protecting the world. Rinoa is a resistance fighter against the Republic of Galbadia, led by the Sorceress Edea who is suddenly hellbent on conquering the neighboring nations. Squall and his team attempt to assassinate Edea, but the mission goes awry.

Gameplay:

Final Fantasy VIII throws nearly every previous battle system out of the window. It’s nearly as radical as Final Fantasy II’s battle system. Enemies around the world map average their levels according to your average level among your characters. You only need 1,000 EXP (experience points) to rise to each level, unlike the other games where the EXP needed rises after each level. But that doesn’t mean your character levels up all their stats – that all depends on the summons, known in this game as Guardian Forces.

Unlike other games, summons are crucial to the gameplay, despite not being crucial to the story itself. The Junction System has you “junction” each character with a GF, allowing you to assign different battle commands (Item, Draw, Magic, GF, etc). If you don’t assign a character a GF, all they can do in battle is “Attack.”

That gets super annoying when you’re moving around GFs between characters a lot but you forget to assign that one character a summon right before a major boss battle, so then they can’t do shit.

The drawing system is my favorite aspect of Final Fantasy VIII’s gameplay. Instead of harnessing magic by a points system (such as MP), you draw magic from enemies. Magic is only limited by the number of spells. For example, you fight an enemy and draw 5 Curas from them. You now have 5 Cura spells. You can hold up to 99 of any spell. You don’t have to worry about ethers or running out of MP. I guess it’s an incentive to battle enemies, as they are resources for magic.

But the way the GFs work annoy me the most. You to call upon GFs at any time in any battle for an infinite number of times. This doesn’t give you any incentive to even try battling. If something annoyed me, I just said, “Fuck it” and spammed GFs. Not only that, but you have to sit through the short cinematic sequence of your summon every time you call them. I must have viewed Shiva’s summoning sequence ten-thousand fucking times before finishing the game. This makes battling feel repetitive, tedious, and unenjoyable. Battling was a chore.

The Junction System overall is so complicated that you have to go through a tutorial within the first twenty minutes of the game. It’s aggravating enough already to sit through Quistis going, “Blah, blah. blah” but it’s actually super important because if you don’t pay attention then this game will be tedious.

The final battle though? That shit was epic. Hard. But epic. One of the best final battles.

Graphics:

This game took a different route in giving realistic proportions to its characters. While that’s a cool idea on paper, the overall effect is. . .boring? Almost every other Final Fantasy game has a cast of very distinct characters, like various species, age groups, or wildly different clothing. To suddenly play a Final Fantasy game with what looks like real people – like Bob, Joe and Jill – seems drab. Selphie by far has been the least interesting character to me. When your characters look and feel like NPCs, it’s hard to become invested in them.

I wasn’t a fan of many of the backdrops because for whatever reason I had trouble discerning some doors. I couldn’t tell what I was looking at in the background sometimes, like if there was a switch or button that I had to press.

The cinematics are great though – some of the best in the series. It has the most memorable opening sequence of any game – the duel between Squall and his rival Seifer. The cinematics were a MAJOR step up from Final Fantasy VII.

Story:

Oh hey, so here’s a serious, non-spoiler, non-inflammatory review of Final Fantasy VIII.

Put this story side-by-side with Final Fantasy VII and you can see how they carried on the inspirations. Once again, the story is set in a more modern setting with cars, trains, etc. Squall is Cloud. Rinoa is Aerith. Etc., etc.

Squall Leonhart is the epitome of angst. You will spend the entire game rolling your eyes at Squall’s angsty introspective thoughts about the situations he’s in and people around him. Squall is essentially a bad version of Cloud Strife from Final Fantasy VII. Take Cloud but only take his cool design and angsty responses. That’s Squall Leonhart. Squall literally has no interesting qualities about him other than his physical design. He can rock that jacket and that scar on his face. Squall’s “romance” with Rinoa Heartilly is also a cardboard copy of Cloud and Aerith’s romance. Squall meets Rinoa by a chance meeting at a military ball. She serves as the optimistic, lively counterweight to Squall’s stoicism. But there’s hardly any depth other than Squall finding her pretty and Rinoa thinking he’s cute and handsome.

The cast of characters is bland, to say the least. They are composed of other students (Quistis being an instructor though) at Balamb Garden (except Irvine, who is a student of another Garden). They look boring. Their introductions are boring. Balamb Garden sounds like a cool idea – a mercenary school – except it plays off more like a poorly written high school anime drama, which is lame. At one point, Squall’s friends – Zell, Selphie, Irvine and Quistis – all try to conspire to get him to talk to Rinoa. You actually have to play through that of the plot and watch it unfold. But Squall tries to understand Rinoa’s upbeat attitude with lots of question marks in his thought bubbles and mumbling, “Whatever”. It’s jarring to sit through four discs of this over and over.

The plot is a butchered mess. After Disc 1 is when the plot gets strange like a fever dream. Plot twists happen left and right after Disc 1 without any rhyme or reason. Very little is explained and many twists are too convenient. Seifer is introduced as Squall’s rival and Rinoa’s original love interest, but then he inexplicably turns evil. In no dialogue or plot points do we ever learn why Seifer switches sides. None at all.

There’s a particular interesting fan theory that actually makes infinitely more sense than the story that Square gave us. Here’s a hot tip – when fan theories start making perfect sense, you probably didn’t write a good story.

The best part of Final Fantasy VIII is actually Laguna Loire. Throughout the story, Squall and his friends pass out for mysterious reasons and you are introduced to Laguna Loire and his two buddies, Ward and Kiros (who are reminiscent of Biggs and Wedge from Final Fantasy VII). They partake in events set in the past. Laguna Loire hearkens back to the pre-Final Fantasy VII heroes – heroes like Bartz and Locke. He’s funny and charming. I wish the game was about him and his friends instead of angsty Squall and his cardboard friends.

So, for four discs you play through these parallel plots and then they merge by the end. The payoff isn’t so amazing. I expected something better. Time travel is involved, albeit in a way that doesn’t make sense. Time compression! The ability to compress time into a singularity because . . . because why again? I guess you don’t have to wait for the next season of Game of Thrones anymore. Is that what that means?

Other notes I want to mention – Balamb Garden is an awful, clunky airship and the world map is the least interesting world map in the entire series. The only remotely interesting place is Fisherman’s Horizon.

Final Fantasy VIII’s story is the second most radical departure from the series, the first being Final Fantasy X, which I will get to later. However, Final Fantasy VII lacks any meaningful depth or existential crisis for its main character to explore. There’s no grand critique on the meaning or life or anything like that. There’s one slight existential question that Rinoa faces near the end but it’s practically nothing. I admire what they tried to do but it fell flat on its face. It’s dull and insipid with its characters and the plot doesn’t steer in a clear direction.

Overall, I admire what they were trying to do by adding time travel to the story. But it became such a warbled mess that it failed to deliver. They took all the cool parts of Final Fantasy VII but didn’t bother to give them depth.

Music:

The music is the biggest highlight of Final Fantasy VIII. Laguna Loire’s battle theme is sexy as hell. It made me so sad to return to Squall’s timeline, because I wouldn’t get to hear that music again for a while. The world map theme irritated me. It has a jingle that didn’t jive well with wandering around. It probably also didn’t help that the world map is dull to run around in.

The game’s theme, Liberi Fatali, is damn epic. Liberi Fatali does have actual lyrics but the famous lines “Fithos lusec wecos vinosec” is actually nonsense. Maybe that nonsense reflects the nonsense that is the actual story. It would have been nice if they had actually incorporated those words into the story somehow, like some magic spell like “abracadabra”.

The love theme is Eyes on Me, performed by Faye Wong. It’s the first time that Uematsu composed a pop song for a Final Fantasy game. Its lyrics are nice and of course fitting for the love story. I like hearing it.

There are no other character themes in this score. The focus was all on Squall and Rinoa having their silly angsty romance.

The final boss theme is actually one of my favorites. It starts out eerie with the chorus singing “Fithos lusec wecos vinosec” but in this drawn out, ghost-like manner. Then the music picks up sounding like a typical Final Fantasy battle theme, then goes crazy from there on out.

Notable Score:

Liberi Fatali.

youtube

Verdict:

My least favorite Final Fantasy game. I would place it right at the bottom tier. The story is absolute gibberish. The gameplay could be fun once you wrap your head around it, which I didn’t and so it was a pain in the ass for me. Finding all the Guardian Forces can be fun. Laguna Loire is the best part of the story, and that’s really it. At the end of the day, probably put this one off until you play the better, more important Final Fantasy games. You are not missing anything if you never play this game.

Direct Sequel?

No.

Keep it that way.

#final fantasy #final fantasy viii #final fantasy 8 #squall leonhart #squall x rinoa #rinoa heartilly #video games #onvideogames #fantasy rpg #sci-fi rpg #science fiction #balamb garden #quistis trepe

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watermxlnhigh · 5 years ago

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2020 appreciation :)

Pardon if this kinda sucks and for it being late oops

@yeetyouhoes D A N N Y. oml idek where I should start with you because you’re just amazing. You have listened to many rants, recommended me amazing songs, sent amazing spams, advice, jokes, just all of it. And well yeah you just honestly light my day up and are one of the people I’ve gotten the closest too. So thank you for being just a phenomenal person inside and out that I can trust. And for being a Swiftie bc fanning over her is much better with another person. And thank you for turning me into a hyunjin stan (I still stan lix freckles though👀👀) I love you Danny 💗

@chippychee Mom!!!! You adopted me into this wack world of stays and toes and I’ve been loving every bit of it. I remember getting into that thing and announcing a “yeehaw I’m izzy” and from there the rest is history. Also thank you for listening and for helping me with my friend struggles. You’ve helped so so so much and I love you and all your wack ass memes and rat tail imagines in all. And also for the calls and just vibing and idk how to really express my love rn bc my brain isn’t functioning but ummmm Muah muah muah and you are definitely helping full the hole 💗 I love you :)

@defsigh NIDEEN I’m still banking on that wedding I hope you know 👀 and making you sweet tea, apple pie, biscuits, all of it...you best believe I’ll be making you a full on f e a s t. But ma’am you’re my exo loving, jawn teaching boon and I love you so much.

@lucyhasproblems LUCY I know I haven’t talked to you but your texts and DMs in the gc are always hilarious and ur honestly a full mood and imma buy you a huge freaking dreidel one day mark my words. Love you girl :)

@ethereal-bean HEART aka the wise one. I’m pretty sure I’ve spoken to you once but you’re so sweet. Hands down of the sweetest and most mature people I’ve met on here and I hope I can get to know you more this year :)) love youuu

@sweetchaos-yk NAKECIA I L O V E Y O U. You honestly are also hilarious and kind and idek what to say but when I see ur name in the gc it tends to be a funny text that follow which is amazing and I also hope o I can get closer to you and hope ur decade is amazing and yeehaw

@thatadorkablegirl SHANNI / SWEETEST HUMAN ON THE EARTH U W U. Sadly another boon I don’t know all that well but your random blurbs of love brighten my day soooo much and I wish for nothing bad to ever happen to a precious soul like yours. I love youuu

@nakamowoto CHELLIE hey there so we haven’t talked much HOWEVER the times we have I’ve been toppling over in laughter and I hope we get close this next decade bc ur a legend and yeehaw. Love you girl

@chanswish BAMBI /the baby of the group. Girly I love you and hope that you know anytime you need to talk or some advice I’ll be there bc you too are an absolute angel and I know we don’t talk as much anymore and haven’t in a minute but you’re amazing and I love you :)

SO BOONS

I know I’m late....but oml I’ve known y’all for a whole ass month. That’s wack. Kinda feels like a year ngl but anywho I’m just so thankful that I got to meet y’all, and that even though I had known Chloe for 2 days while everyone else had known her for 2 months plus...she still swooped me in and y’all did the same :) and because of y’all it honestly made the last month of the decade fucking amazing and just a little happier in my spot of darkness, so thank you. Thank you for the spams thé listens the rants the dreams the jokes the advice the smiles the love. Lots and lots of love. You’ve all brightened my day and decade and I hope I was able to do the same. So here’s to many more jokes and laughs and smiles and cries and hugs and spams of all sorts. Thank you for being you and for existing :)

Love you boons and yeehaw

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blizzardfluffykpop · 6 years ago

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Punk Rock Prince

Summary: Punk rock lead guitarist Jinyoung, and (Y/n) the bassist of Nonchalant Disruption, a punk rock band looking for a new lead guitarist.

Jinyoung X Reader

One-shot

It was the third time watching Jinyoung play all by himself, his riffs floating through the room, if only I could ask him if he was looking to be in a band. My band was lacking a lead guitarist ever since Gwen had decided she had better places to be, and no longer wanted to play in a punk rock band. She wanted to be in a pop band, and be the lead, and I had offered her countless times to take lead and each time she had declined. Her passion lies in pop music, and we decided to let her go so she could achieve her dreams. And the rest of us were left searching for a guitarist, posting flyers everywhere, putting ads in newspapers, we still have yet to receive a call.

My friend Mark, the drummer in our band, comes up to me and he’s like, “You’ve been watching each time he plays, he seems like a pretty good replacement” I nodded at the fact, “I think he’s going to make us big, he’d be more than just a replacement but we have to ask…” He rolls his eyes, “Why don’t you ask Joy to do it?” I look over to where she is in the bar, and she’s flirting with a man, “Well, I would but you know her.” He laughs, “I’ll just do it, once he’s done with his setlist. Although, if I’m being honest he could make it on his own, he’s so talented-” “Like Gwen?” “Yeah, I loved her” “You’ve always had a thing for lead guitarists-” “You’ve always had a thing for rhythm guitarists-” “You didn’t deny it” He tries to tease me, “Nor did you~” I smirk at him, and he rolls his eyes, “I should have became the lead guitarist, instead of being the bassist” He laughs at me, “Yeah maybe, but here we are now… Anyway, I think he’s almost done” I shake my head at him, disagreeing, “You know in November Rain where they have a dip in the middle? Yeah, that’s what this is going to be” I was right, and I head up to the bartender and ask him about Jinyoung, “Why doesn’t anyone every ask about me?! Ah yes, Jackson, how are you? I’m fine, thank you” He looks at me pointedly, “Fine,... How are you Jackson?” “Little late now, anyway, Jinyoung has been looking for a group, although he is pretty good solo he likes company, he doesn’t want to be lonely.” I nod gesturing him to go on, “There are three groups and a few companies looking at taking them into their arms” I grumble, “Of course there are-” “But I bet with your sweet charms, you could do it-” “Jackson… How’s the love life?” “They’re mad at me…” “Why?” “I didn’t remember our cats birthdays…” “Jaebum will get over it, but you need to make it up” “I know, plus I only flirt with customers to get better tips” “Everyone knows that” He scoffs at me, “Well, your man is packing up his guitar” My eyes go wide, realizing I had talked to Jackson too long.

People piled up where he had to walk, already asking him to join their group, and I almost screamed, when I see a well-known act talking to him and garnering his full attention. After he walks away he doesn’t talk to anyone else, it’s not like I can reach him anyway, with the way he moved out the back door exit. I go back over to Mark and almost screamed again, he knows immediately what happened. “Don’t worry, if he joins with Jolly Roger, we’ll just figure it out okay? You never know, someone better than him might come around” I nod as we eventually get Joy to come back to us, and leave the joint.

Three hours later, laying in my bedroom about ready to scream because every time I’ve wanted to ask Jinyoung to be our guitarist something always comes in the way. The first time, Gwen had saw us and talked our heads off about the pop world. The second time being Joy getting drunk off her ass and trying to beat someone up twice her size. Dragging her away and apologizing for her was horrifying. That man was so pissed off, thank god I’m friends with Jaebum and Jackson. Mark and I would have been beaten to a pulp, after Joy was. This last time I screwed it up, I mean it was only a matter of time before I had.

As I lay on my bed contemplating what I’m going to do, maybe start screaming from rooftops to join my group if you're a lead guitarist. That’s when I get a call, I immediately roll over, and answer and it’s just a spam call. I nearly threw my phone against the wall, thankfully, it hit my bean bag. I grumble shoving myself under blankets, and curling into my pillow, and not a minute later after getting comfy. My phone goes off, and I roll my eyes, getting up, and I answer, “Is this uh (Y/n) from Nonchalant Disruption?” I nod, realizing they can’t hear that I answer, “Yeah” “I saw your advertisement that you were looking for a lead guitarist, and I was wondering if I could audition?” “Um is tomorrow good for you?” “Yeah, what time?” “Let me go see when the others are free, give me a second?” Covering the receiver up, I quickly yell if 10 am is good for everyone to see our potentially new lead guitarist, the two shout back a ‘sure’. “Are you good with 10 am?” “Yeah” “Perfect,” I grin, “can I get your name?” “Oh uh, yeah, Park Jinyoung” My jaw drops, and I’m so glad he couldn’t see, get yourself back together, (Y/n), I scold myself internally, before telling him, “Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you Jinyoung, I’ll-We’ll see you tomorrow” With that we hang up, and I throw myself into my bed and scream into my pillow.

Joy comes rushing in, “You okay?” I grin up at her, “More than okay” “It’s Jinyoung isn’t it” I nod at her and she laughs at me, “So wanna talk about him~” “He’s going to be our new guitarist, and-” “You have a thing for leads you know that?” “Yes, and what about it…” as I whisper in her ear, “Drummer girl” “Shut up, he won’t go for me” I roll my eyes at her, “Are you going to play this game of horrible charades with him for much longer?” “This is about you not me” “Yeah, yeah, I know… Anyway I think he’s cute, and man do guitarists always have to be that hot?” She winks at me, “Not you, ew…” “You’re mean” “Yeah, and?” “How did Gwen put up with dating you” “She didn’t, that’s why she broke up with me and left the group to play pop music” “Still sour over that, it’s been three months since she left the group.” “I’m over that, very much so, but doesn’t mean I can’t grumble” “Yes and no” I sigh, "She broke up with me two years ago, she was in our band up until three months ago and it's still a sore wound just like for you guys because even if I wasn't with her romantically, it was just nice to be with her, she really played a good roll in the band" "I know your over her romantically but we'll see if Jinyoung wants to join us. And then we can began anew, alright?" I nod and lay back on my bed, Mark knocks on the door that's open, "Takeout is here" I pat my bed and he walks over plopping himself on it, and we feast like well cheap kings, tomorrow gleaming in our eyes.

Jinyoung arrives thirty minutes early, thankfully we were all ready and cleaned up. Like always, the people that live in the other apartments are at work right now. We sit on the couch and ell Jinyoung to start when he’s ready, and just like at his gigs he plays loud and fast riffs which transition into still loud but slow riffs that leave your heart pounding wondering what is to come next. Mark looks over at me and grins, Joy does the same, before I say, "How about this we play and you try to keep up" Jinyoung smirks at us, "I think it'll be you trying to keep up with me" all cocky like, not many people know but we start on two on practice, for shows we start on five. Mark goes, "A one and a two" without missing a beat Jinyoung starts on two with ease and we start playing our fastest song, "New Girl" (by suicide machines if you like punk rock music I suggest it) Mark and I singing the main, Joy doing the backing vocals, Jinyoung catches on pretty fast not only catching onto backing vocals but on guitar. Gwen was a fan of fast chord progression and he is playing it effortlessly, like he's heard the song a million times, when we finish, I look over at him, "How do you know that song so well?" He grins at us, "I've been following your band for a long time, you guys got me into punk rock music… And once I got a taste of how fast you can play I never wanted to let it go. And when Gwen left the band, it felt like my heart being ripped out. I thought you guys were going to disband and never play again. Then, I started seeing Nonchalant Disruption flyers, and I was trying to find free time in between playing little gigs… and it would be my honor to play with you guys" He humbly bows his head just in case he wasn't going to be let in. Before I can say a word, Mark lets out, "You're in" he looks at us so shocked, he starts to sputter not expecting us to accept him, "You're the only one that audition" I agree with Joy, and let out my own view, "We've been watching you play for the past couple days and… we were trying to get you in the group-" "You were trying-" "Besides the point Mark" Mark laughs at me, and Jinyoung grins, "So um can you play all our songs-" "Yeah, I know (Y/n) has mentioned how they love The Ramones and I figured out half of their songs, Mark loves Death a protopunk band, Gwen loved the The Queers, and Joy loves The Clash"

"You decided to follow all our favorite groups and learn most of their songs?" He nods, "And in doing that I found my favorite punk rock band The Sex Pistols" I grin at him, "That's one of our favorite groups too, we look at them for inspiration a lot, hoping that we can get one of our albums banned." He smirks at us, "Well I'm going to be the one that’ll get you there and beyond." Joy puts her hand on my shoulder before stepping next to me, "Oh is that so?" Mark questions as he gets up from his stool, Jinyoung nods, I look at the other two and put my hand out, Joy lays her hand on mine, Mark on top of that, and we gesture Jinyoung to do the same, he puts his hand in, and we shout loudly and proudly, "To Nonchalant Disruption"

We celebrated, and it wasn't long before we were back on tour. Jinyoung's skills made us so much better, no offense to Gwen but he could out play her any day. To say the least, I was slowly falling for him, from his cockiness to his motherly nature. He’d act cocky about his skills as a guitarist--although he is fully valid in that cockiness--to cooking dinner for us or giving us a look that tells us not to do something idiotic. But his laughter is something that holds a place in my heart like no other. Gods wished to have his laughter, it's so cute. But oh dear, when he gets mischievous glint in his eyes, and gets in on the joke. Like where I was the one to have spilt the flour all over the floor,... it was 3 am in the morning, and before I could clean it up, Joy was screaming as she slipped on it and landed. I ran back to my room as she started screaming that she was going to get Mark back. And she did, I acted to be asleep through it all and Jinyoung came in when the other two went to sleep, "You did it, didn't you?" "What are you talking about?" The glint in his eyes glowing bright, "Fine,... don't tell Joy" He smirks, "What do I get out of it, if I don't tell her?" I look at him, "My dignity-" "Since when you did you have that?" "Don't get smart on me, Jinyoung… but I'll buy you that Gibson you've been looking at" Needless to say, I bought him the white Gibson, and Joy got Mark back by going into the shower and pouring blue dye on him. Oh, not only was his hair stained blue but his skin too, the smurf jokes that went on for weeks. And I was so glad Jinyoung kept it a secret because that would have been my fate.

When Gwen had called us and told us she was going to get married, I was floored. With her being gorgeous and all, the stunning personality, there was no reason to say she wouldn’t make someone fall for her, but I never thought she would reciprocate those feelings. After all, she had told me she was never the marrying type, Gwen was a very private person. She had always been, no one knew I had been with her, just like every other band that kisses their members to fuel the fangirls and fanboys, that's what we did. No one knew what we were up to, except those within the group. That's how she liked it, so when Jinyoung found me crying in the closet he was so shocked. I was over her but it felt like she never felt anything for me. She was making her marriage public, for everyone to know that she is going to be happy with the man she was marrying… The only part private is who is on the guest list. It felt like our whole relationship was a sham, as much as I was over Gwen I couldn’t help but feel like during the time we were together she didn’t feel the same. And that I was hopelessly in love with him, that I may be crying of Gwen, I know where my true feelings lie. Gwen just caused me pain from her antics. I cried all of this to Jinyoung, he just held me as talked it out. Not saying a word to me but just rockin’ me back and forth, and I could have stayed in those arms forever.

I guess I got tuckered out crying in his arms, because when I woke up I was in my bed and it was 7 in the morning. As I sat up, I heard a knock on my door, I looked up and told them to come in. Low and behold, it was Jinyoung and he had a tray full of breakfast food, and he tells me, “You had a rough night last night, I made you breakfast, got you some Motrin just in case you needed it.” The breakfast he made me was enough to feed an army. But I wasn’t about to complain about this, rather I start thanking him over and over again. “Didn’t she say you needed to bring someone as a date to her wedding?” I groan as I nod at him, shoveling a big bite of pancake, with whip cream, syrup, and butter on it. “Would you want to go as my date?” He asks softly, my eyes go wide as I gulp down the big bite. My cheeks a rosy red, as I careful and quiet voice I say, “I would love to” He grins, “We can show her what’s she’s missing out on. I mean for god sakes who would leave someone like you, your everything someone dreams about. And she left you for some guy whose money is as big as his ego” I chuckle at him, “Thanks, Jinyoung, you don’t know how much yo-I mean that means to me.” He rolls his eyes, “Just admit it you love me” I look up at him, “Yeah I do, I love you a lot Jinyoung. And I don’t know why my heart was fussing over her last night, when I have everything I need right in front of me. You’re everything I could want and more, you punk” He laughs, and takes whip cream off the top of my pancakes, I pout as he eats it. “You’re right I’m a punk, but I’m your punk, baby, just like you’re my punk.”

So maybe I didn’t end up with my dream girl. I ended up with someone better, the dreamiest guy, that makes me breakfast in bed. Who kisses my hand whenever he takes it in his. Who twirls me around as we listen to the Sex Pistols, who sat besides me holding my hand as we got matching tattoos. Maybe we shouldn’t have done it, but I do know I want to spend the rest of my life with him. And a tattoo was just the way to do it. We didn’t want a grand wedding, a small wedding as The Ramones played as we kissed. Mark and Joy hollering, because they were the two to witness it. The priestess wishing us well, Joy and Mark attached cans to the back of my car, them clattering as we drive through the pouring rain after we ran to get into the car. And I wouldn’t have had our wedding any other way. Dancing in the rain as we listened to The Misfits. Later that night, getting those matching tattoos, kissing in the alleyway behind the shop, everyone dreams of someone kissing them the way Jinyoung kissed me behind that shop.

Mark and Joy eventually got together, two punk power couples in the same band. It seemed impossible but it only made our group stronger, having double dates with them is honestly cute. Joy got on her knee one time while we were on a double date, Jinyoung and I knowing about this for weeks and being in on the planning. As she asked him to marry her, Mark’s eyes flooding with tears as he joined her on the carpet and agreed. Jinyoung nestled his head into my neck and sighingly said, “Young Love” We all rolled our eyes at him, but I agreed.

I never thought I would end up with such a great guy like Jinyoung, but here I am sitting on a porch as it rains, and he’s sprinting from the car, and has flowers, I look at him like he’s crazy and he sits on the porch swing seat next to me, “It’s our anniversary of the day we meet and I got you flowers” I grinned, and bring him into the house, “You think I’d forget such an important date?” He raises his eyebrows at me, I can be quite forgetful, I forgot our marriage anniversary so many times, until the last minute. I tell him to go get changed into something warm, he agreed and Joy and Mark came out of their hiding spots, “Get to your rooms, you two, dastardly devils” The snicker, “Yes, (Y/n)” I roll my eyes, as I go to the cabinet and pull out the wrapped present I’ve been hiding, knowing that the three of them can find anything unless it’s glaringly obvious that it’s there, then they’ll just pass over it. I pull out the mini cake to find spelled out on the cake, “Happy mini anniversary, babe” Knowing I didn’t ice that, I have to remind myself to thank those two devils.

Jinyoung comes down as I get out two paper plates, after putting the flowers into a vase. I gesture for him to sit down, his anarchy tattoo showing proudly on his neck. “Open your present babe” He does so slowly, taking the bow apart and taking it open piece by piece. He lets out a loud gasp, one of the hardest albums to get, God Save the Queen by The Sex Pistols, and I tell him to open it up, and it’s signed. He carefully places it back on the counter, and jumps over the counter and pulls me into him, kissing me deeply, “You didn’t have to do that babe, thank you so much” I grin at him, “You deserve especially with dealing with forgetful old me, I love you so much. And I know how much every anniversary means to you, along with birthdays and I just want to show that appreciation I have for you… Plus if you think this is a little much wait till your birthday--” He shuts me up with a kiss, “Thank you so much, baby” I hear a knock as I cut the cake into two slices, I groan and Joy gets the door to reveal, Jaebum and Jackson.

They come in, “Happy mini anniversary you two, we were here to pick you four up for a big celebration after all it’s your eighth anniversary of the day you met, so…” I look at Jinyoung he shrugs, “After we eat the cake” They grumble, and Jinyoung and I eat comfortably, not caring about dressing up that much for the date. Knowing we were just going to celebrate it in the kitchen of their bar.

Jinyoung’s hands intertwined with mine as we walked into the bar and he danced with me on the empty dance floor. After a little while we join the rest of them in the kitchen. Bambam and Yugyeom coming in with a keg of beer, Youngjae coming in with boxes of pizza, and there is no other way I would want to celebrate our mini my anniversary with Jinyoung. With his hand intertwined with mine under the table as we eat. I kiss his nose as we exchange stories. Our friend group got big after we met Jinyoung, and it feels like a big tight knit family.

I guess I should tell you Gwen’s wedding was spectacular for those who were famous. But for us it was boring except Jinyoung and I dancing to the songs, singing horribly to them. We danced the night away, and Jinyoung is right like he usually is, she knows what she’s missing out on, and there is no way she can get me back. With the way he dips me in his arms, to swaying back and forth, or dramatically twirling one another. I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way, for all these people to see me happily with Jinyoung. Although, being there did help in our rise to fame, more people wanting to know what a punk band was doing, after all she asked us to sing a song at her wedding, pop appropriate of course. Although I may or may not have slipped a curse word into the song that didn’t have a curse word in it… while playing at Gwen’s wedding.

I guess I do have a thing for lead guitarists, if their name is Park Jinyoung, of course. No one can beat his charms, his heart, his laugh, his everything. And he would say the same about me if not more, I love him as he loves me. I lean into him and kiss his neck discreetly and he shivers, and rolls his eyes at me, “I love you” I whisper into his neck, “I love you too” he says softly to me, ruffling my hair.

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badlydrawndrawnings · 6 years ago

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That’s it I QUIT -Third Semester Round Up Edition

With Third Semester Info finally out due to Tim Barry deciding to come back from his power sleep

We got lots of spoilers

And I’m going to be FREE after this post.

No more posting spoilers myself. I’m just gonna enjoy the sweet ride to the new ending and see what people have to say because I accidentally ruined my own sleep schedule and got tired of the chat lol. These are just brief translation that are probably off (all done by translators in the stream btw)

We got endgame spoilers, so go with caution if you want to know them.

12/24

So Sae is about to send Joker’s ass to jail when

Surprised Mother F*cker! Goro is alive! It seems Tim Barry’s back tracking did good after all! Joker asks if Goro is real, and Goro is all, “yeah I’m real’. And Goro roughly says he’s going to accept that Shido’s sins are his and he’s going to jail in Joker’s place

It also seems you can’t please all the haters bc they think he’s still better off dead (bruh if he’s dead how you think we even got joker playable in third semester).

12/25

So there’s a Christmas Party, and Morgana comes back in his cat form. It’s pretty much like canon

12/30 and 12/31

Akechi is in jail (for what crimes I don’t know), and because of his testimony against Shido, the woman who Joker saved comes forward (I think). Joker is now free of his false crime. Kasumi is there.

So on the night of the 12/31, Joker has a dream about Shujin. It’s very Persona 1 like. The school is dark and empty. There’s a blue butterly, and Joker follows it around. Voices of the PT members can be heard talking about their wishes

1/1

New animated cutscene with Kasumi. The Gang celebrates the New Year.

By the way, Human!Morgana’s looks isn’t what curse. It’s his voice.

IT’S STILL THE SAME VA AND LEAVES A JARRING AFFECT.

We also get to meet Kasumi’s dad and there’s something off about him

To where she sense it as well

1/2

Wakaba is at LeBlanc eating with Futaba and Human Mona is there.

Surprise Mother F8cker!

Goro walks in. He takes in his surrounding, and he and Joker speak in private. Turns out Goro suddenly got release from jail for no reason, and that tipped him off lol. So they talk about the dream world, and Kasumi calls Joker, and the two head of to meet her at the construction sight.

After three damn years, Goro -since Kasumi is confuse why he’s there- tells her he is not a Phantom Thief. But he is helping them. Kasumi called Joker because she realize that yeah, something is off and think there’s a Palace there.

The trio enter the Research Facility Palace and Goro is in Black Mask mode. Kasumi ask why, and he tells her he doesn’t feel the need to be the detective prince. As a result, we must press F for Robin Hood (for the time being. Who knows if he’ll show up again).

So they investigate and fight Shadow. Tim Barry was able to get an All out Attack with Goro. I decide the truth is in fact, real.

As a humorous moment, because Goro is now allowing himself become more feral, Kasumi ask if he’s like this. The chat made Tim Barry pick option 2: This is his true self.

Anyway, they run into a screen that shows Kasumi’s father talking to his dead daughter, aka, Kasumi’s twin. Something is said, but I have no idea what is translated.

Kasumi starts to feel off herself, and

Oh hey we see Kasumi on some stand? Why is your hair kind of brown? Why do you have a beauty mark on your face? Serious did you-

Who the hell is Sumire (I think that’s the spelling)? Isn’t that the dead twin?

(Where did Harumi came from?)

The trio continue to go further into the Palace and-

OH HELL NO!

In the strangest twist, the Paalce Owner is in fact, Takuto Maruki.

But it’s not his Shadow Self. IT’S THE REAL TAKUTO MARUKI. HE HAS ENTER THE METAVERSE HIMSELF AND CREATED A NEW REALITY AND PALACE FOR HIMSELF.

My god. I’m getting Persona 1 and Kandori flashbacks. Anyway, Takuto had no idea he even made a Palace until Goro tells him. So it turns out Takuto is something of a well extreme villain antagonist. The reason he’s been playing GOD is to keep Kasumi’s happy and free from pain of reality.

BECAUSE THAT AIN’t KASUMI THAT’S SUMIRE PRETENDING TO BE KASUMI.

It turns out, Kasumi was the oldest of the twins. She’s pretty much the cheerful girl we see from Sumire- as Kasumi. The real Kasumi was so much better than Sumire in gymnastics, and it create a lot of self inferiority complex on Sumire. It got to where Sumire wanted to be Kasumi, and somehow Sumire decided to run into traffic while it was raining.

The real Kasumi saved Sumire and died as a result.

Upon remembering, ‘Kasumi’ de-transforms, and appears as her frumpy self. Talks happens, and I don’t know what was said for much of this because the chat was spamming too much. Apparently Sumire was an experiment of sorts (YOU’RE A MAKI AND MANGA!BOY WITH EARRING/NAOYA CLONE FUSION) and her own cognition/mask of herself was change for this ‘switch’ to happen.

Goro finds everything about Takuto’s research and plan terrible and hates it. Takuto feels sad Goro feels that way (well maybe if Takuto got Goro’s damn dream he would be on board with it lol).

So Sumire, wanting to still be Kasumi, agrees to go with Takuto. Takuto says Sumire won’t be harm (because again, he actually does care for her), but Joker doesn’t agree with it. So a boss fight happens, and we get Joker and Black Mask Crow’s showtime.

It’s in the rain and on a city rooftop. Goro is just on a blood spree and Joker shoots with a gun.

So they get expell (?) from the Palace and Goro is all like ‘well we can’t talk down the guy with just the two of us we need more help’. This is the part of Goro’s trailer where he’s all ‘you can hang out in dream world if you want’ in that disgusting tone.

And then I left the stream because I got sick and tired of the chat lol. Last thing I saw was Joker visiting his friends and their ‘dream that became reality’.

#persona 5 royal spoilers #persona 5 the royal spoilers #p5r spoilers #spoilers #goro akechi #kasumi yoshizawa #endgame spoilers #this is a text post

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krreader · 7 years ago

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BTS scenario → soulmate!au - the aftermath.

pairing: bts x reader fandom: bts warnings: soulmate!au ; language ; mentions of sex genre: fluff ; crack ; mentions of smut previous: x

a/n: I decided to combine them both, so this is set a few months after the reader and the member found each other and it is all related to ARMY. I hope you all like it ♥

ask box | masterlist | fandoms | faq | multifandom reader blog

kim seokjin

The media has been blowing up with articles about Jin these last weeks. As much as he tried to hide it, on stage, it just couldn't always be covered during performances and so many fans and websites were talking about the fact that Seokjin's soulmate mark was glowing.

Your initials on his wrist were finally glowing, signaling that he had finally found his soulmate.

But it was actually only at a fansign five months later, that a fan finally screamed the question at him, hoping ARMY would finally get the answer.

After she had asked the question, the room went a lot quieter, somehow everyone now focused on Jin, who only chuckled and looked around the room.

“You want me to tell you about her?”

“YES!”

And that's when he started telling them about your first meeting, about your first dates afterwards and about how you two then started dating. And now, only four months after, you had already bought an apartment together, because after all, you were soulmates and he was at an age where he would like to start a family as soon as possible. He raved about you, told them how beautiful, smart and kind you were, told them all the things he loved about you and told ARMY not to worry, because you'd take good care of him.

And then later that night, the video of that moment started making its' rounds through Twitter and you and Jin could only watch with grins on your faces at the positive comments it was receiving.

You leaned back against his chest, interlinking your hand with his initials, with his hand with your initials, saying, “I'm glad they're okay with it.”

“Even if they hadn't been, it wouldn't have mattered. You're my soulmate..”

You smiled and turned your head to the side, so you could give him a kiss.

min yoongi

Yoongi was so incredibly tired, it was unbelievable.

He hadn't had a proper night of sleep for the past two weeks with the comeback and shows and fan signs and all that.

Today was one of these fan signs and he must have drifted off at some point, because suddenly he was faced with..-

“What are you doing here, I thought you were working?” you walked over to him with your son in your arms. That same son that was yours and his in your shared dream world.

“I.. I guess I fell asleep?”

“Well then wake up again, you don't want them to notice it, do you?”

But when he was watching you, gently rocking your baby back and forth in your arms, his son smiling up at you with his beautiful and wonderful grin that was the same as his..

..he didn't want to leave.

He had waited long enough, he finally wanted it to be real.

So he walked over to you and wrapped his arms around you from behind, burying his face in your neck, “I don't want to go.. you won't be there when I wake up.”

But his body didn't leave him a choice, because a second later, his eyelids fluttered open again and he found ARMY laughing. As always, he couldn't remember what he dreamed about or who his soulmate in his dreams was, but he was.. sad now. Like he was missing something.. someone.

“Did you dream with your soulmate?” a fan asked.

Yoongi nodded, a sad smile on his face, “Hopefully I get to meet her one day.”

And to his surprise, it was actually ARMY that started digging around, trying to figure out a way for him to find you. Because with each passing day, Yoongi seemed to be more upset that he didn't know who you were.

It was them that managed to find you, like the FBI people that they are.

It was all because of ARMY that he was able to hold you in his arms, for real this time, only three months later.

jung hoseok

Hoseok was at a fansign, being his happy self and talking to all the wonderful fans, when the girl in front of him suddenly gasped.

“What.. what is it?”

“There's.. there's something on your hand,” she whispered, her face glowing bright red.

And when he looked down, he knew why.

'I want your dick inside me right now, Hoseok'

Why. WHY did these kind of thoughts of yours have to show up on visible skin? Why not on his stomach? Why not on his fucking ass? Why on his hands in the middle of a fansign?

He laughed nervously and tried to hide his palm away.

“You.. you know, it's uh.. it's the hormones.”

At this point, ARMY knew that you and him were expecting your first baby, but he knew that the girl would probably still post what she witnessed on Twitter and it would probably still cause quite the ruckus.

And when he came home that night, finding you in the living room with ice cream on your belly and the spoon in your mouth, completely unbothered, he started scolding you, told you not to think these things while he was working, but you didn't even pay attention to him, your eyes still focused on the TV screen.

“Fine,” he muttered, pulling his belt out of the loops of his pants.

“What are you doing?”

“You wanted my dick, didn't you?”

“I wanted your dick three hours ago. Now I want to watch this show.”

He would lose his fucking mind with you one day, soulmate or not.

kim namjoon

Whereas Namjoon was clumsy, you got your injuries different ways.

When you were walking out of the convenience store, rummaging through your bag to put everything in place, someone suddenly ran into you. You didn't even really look up, only muttered an apology and wanted to walk away, when you suddenly heard: 'Fucking slut'

“Excuse me?” you turned around with raised eyebrows, “What did you just say to me?”

It was a group of girls, three of them to be exact.

“He might be your soulmate, but that doesn't mean you deserve to be with him.”

Well, long story short, later that night, Namjoon suddenly found a shit ton of bruises on his entire body and immediately called you, afraid that you might have gotten hit by a truck or something, “What the fuck happened?” he asked into the phone, as he raced down the stairs.

“Just some of your 'fans' thinking I'm not worthy of you.”

“They attacked you?”

“Well, they insulted me. And then I punched one of them.”

“Then how come you've got all the bruises now.”

“Babe, I can defend myself, but it was three against one, of course I'd get some bruises. So stop worrying about me, I'm already on the couch with some ice.”

But he worried anyways and made his way over to you to pamper you, making a VLive that same night to show ARMY the bruises on HIS body, because they were inflicted on HIS soulmate. He hoped that this way, knowing that these bruises did show up on his body too, they would leave you alone.

park jimin

They were having a concert, nothing out of the ordinary today, all seven of them singing for their lives and giving ARMY a night they would never forget.

However, a particular dance move accidentally exposed his soulmate mark. Your name, to be exact and even though you weren't there, your phone suddenly started blowing up, people messaging you on various social media sites, asking to follow you and liking your pictures, while you already knew what was happening.

You called Jimin as soon as he had texted you that the concert was over.

“Jagiiii,” he laughed happily, “Ah, the concert was so good, it..-”

“You exposed my name!”

“Huh?”

“I don't know how you managed to expose it, but you did and now all your fans are messaging me and following me and I don't know what to do!”

See, that was the problem of you being normal. You weren't used to all of this.

Jimin made a tweet that night, asking people to stop spamming you and that exposing your name had never been intentional.

Obviously, nobody listened to him and you were now suddenly in the eye of the public just like him.

And you hated it.

kim taehyung

Taehyung was gone for his world tour and even though you and him were constantly in touch with each other through your phones, you couldn't help but leave cute messages for him by drawing on your arm.

Right now for example, you grabbed your pen and wrote: 'I love you' on your forearm.

And it appeared right away on his and he could only watch with a smile, his fingers gently running over the words.

“You're a lucky man,” a girl next to him said, “Many were worried about you, Taehyung, you know?”

A fan then, but she seemed to be one of the normal ones.

It was like he could have a normal conversation with her.

“I really am,” he grinned.

“I hope you know that, even though there are many haters in Korea, internationally? (Y/N) is loved. Because we know how good she treats you. And we're not that jealous that you're off the market,” she laughed.

“Thank you for saying that.. I mean it,” he smiled happily and nodded at her phone, “I'll let you take a special selfie if you want to?”

“Oh my god, really?”

Well, if she made his day, he might as well make hers, right?

jeon jeongguk

“Jungkookie, your brown eyes look so good on you,” a fan commented on his V Live.

He started laughing and leaned back against the chair, “Didn't I look good before? Do you want me to thank (Y/N) for giving me back my normal eye color?”

The comments seemed to indicate that they were very happy with the new him.

Honestly, neither you nor Jungkook had expected this amount of support from his fans, but maybe they were all just happy that he was now having both of his eyes in the same color, which looked so freaking good on him.

But whatever it was, you wouldn't complain.

You were both just happy that they allowed you to be in love with each other.

#bts imagine #bts reactions #bts x reader #bts #bangtan #bangtan reaction #bangtan boys #kpop #kpop imagines #kpop reactions #bangtan sonyeondan #reader #bangtan x reader #bangtan boys x reader #requests

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livvywrites · 6 years ago

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ELDORA’S CREATION & THE BIRTH OF THE SLAEYR

(note: this story will be told as the people of Eldora would tell it… how much of it is true is anyone’s guess)

In the beginning there was only darkness. A span of emptiness; a great well of nothing. But then something shifted, and changed, and out of the darkness walked Death. Behind him came Life; then Hope; Fear; Chaos; and last, came Order. In this realm, they were alone. Not much is known about this time. Only that the gods looked upon their new space and wondered what it was they were supposed to do.

Time held no meaning, then. There was no way to judge how long the gods spent, wandering the empty realm. At some point, they came across Fate, the Weaver of the Threads. But there were no Threads, then, and all she had was an empty Loom.

Things changed, though, when Life found a peculiar patch of Void. She went to investigate it, and from her first step, things began to change. A tree grew, great and tall; with branches fit to drive carriages upon. Life was full of wonder at this strange, new being. Her wonder only grew as the roots dug deeper and deeper. The deeper they dug, the more the earth expanded, and grew. Hills and mountains formed. Rivers, valleys, oceans, and seas. Lakes, and lava beds. It opened like the pages of a story book around her, and the goddess of creation was in awe of the world she created.

And then the tree opened up, and out walked a creature. A creature who looked, in shape, so much like Life and Hope and Fear. Life and the creature spoke, for a long time. About what none can say. Only that this creature was the first life of Eldora. The first nymph. Vitala, we call her.

Soon, though, Life wanted to try her hand at creation once more. Eldora had been birthed by accident, after all—what could she do if she really tried?

And so were born the birds, the deer, the whales, and the fish. The elephants, the horses, the monkeys, and the chickens. Creatures great and small across the realm. Finally, though, she grew tired of the little creatures, the tiny lives she had sparked. She was no less enamored with them… but she wanted to try something different. Something more like Vitala. Wouldn’t it be lovely to have other beings in the realm to speak to? To teach and to learn from in turn?

And so the first races were born.

Every race has their own story of how they came about. Dwarves claim to be hewn from stone. Humans claim the clay. Tauros say they were forged in fire. Halflings claim the dirt, while gnomes have the fanciful claim of birdsong. Solai claim the sun’s rays; the Lurai speak of the moonbeams. Volai say they were grown from a seed, while Surai claim the desert wind. The Elenai say that they do not know, but there are some who say they were birthed by Life herself, from her own flesh and blood.

Life was delighted by these abilities, and so entranced was she that she didn’t pause to wonder where her divine brethren were.

The others were confused at Life’s disappearance, of course, and they went looking—retracing her footsteps as best they could in that wide, borderless realm. It was then that they, too, stepped foot on Eldora. And brought with them their own gifts.

Order brought the concept of time; causing the sun and the moon to move, instead of being stuck in the sky. Chaos brought with him weather and natural disaster. Some legends say a volcano erupted the moment he stepped foot into the realm of Eldora. Fear brought with her the darkness and the fear that keeps us alive. Hope gave us the ability to dream and to wish, and brought with her the stars in the sky.

Death, of course, brought his namesake; and the afterlife that we will rest in. He gave the peoples of the world a natural end, to keep from overpopulating the world.

More and more changes were made, but as time passed, it became clear that the divines couldn’t stay. Their divine auras and influences were too great. It caused too many shifts in the world. Reluctantly, they knew they had to withdrew. But they couldn’t leave their creations without protection.

There has never been an explanation why the Divines thought we needed protection—only that they did. Perhaps they foresaw some terrible tragedy, or perhaps they were kindly, concerned parents who tried to prevent every scraped knee. The people they created were called the Anari.

With the safety of their creations ensured, the divines withdrew. They drew a barrier between Eldora and themselves, and behind that barrier, created the Celestial Realms. Inside the Realms, they created more peoples—people who could withstand their great presences.

Death created his Reapers, the first of which was Elaena. (note: some tales say that Elaena was always there. Others disagree.) Life took the souls of departed nymphs. Hope created her Vanguard, made up of those called the Virtues. Fear chose a solitary speaking companion, the warrior known as Apathy. Chaos created the Infernals. Order created the Ethereal. Sometimes, these beings were sent to the world of Eldora to speak with the priests and the priestesses, to guide heroes and shape champions, but mostly they kept to their realm.

On Eldora, the Anari stood apart. They were more powerful and longer lived than the rest of the races, and many old accounts speak of difficulties between them and the rest of the races. And so, eventually, they isolated themselves. They spoke only to the Elenai, doing their duties as guardians far from the rest of the world… until even their appearances were forgotten.

Most days, the people of Eldora forgot they existed.

Until one day, a baby girl was born with a glowing symbol on her forehead. Not long after her birth, one of Hope’s Vanguard appeared, to announce to all that this girl was the start of the new guardians, to replace the Anari. Obviously the people of Eldora were confused. They sent adventuring parties to all of the known Anarian cities. Most were found empty—but one was wrapped in a great and terrible storm, which bore the marks of Anarian magic.

Scholars from across the world found themselves drawn to the ruins, attempting to understand why the Anari had disappeared, and what had happened to them. Others wished to learn their powerful magics. And, of course, there were those who wished to plunder them too.

The Elenai were questioned—but none of them had answers either. Or, if they did have answers, they never spoke them. The young Slaeyr grew, and it became clear that this time, the guardians weren’t a name for show.

A great and terrible creature plagued the land. It looked like a dragon in shape, but it’s body curled with shadowy tendrils. It plagued villages and cities, razed down forests, clawed and tore at the land. The Circle of Magi; the Knights; and Rangers banned together to form the Syndicate. They did their best to stand against the terrible creature—who called itself Ansai. The Slaeyr woman, joined by others who had been claimed, made an alliance with the dragons of the north, and fought the creature. She slew it, and the people of Eldora celebrated and mourned what was lost.

And when the battle was over, people noticed something else. A new addition to the World Tree, which had long stood on an island protected by the Anari.

The great cities there were empty—but a large dome surrounded the World Tree. Completely impenetrable. Scorch marks marred the land around it—and soon people began to blame the disappearance of the Anari on Ansai, and their bid to save the World Tree from him. However, scholars don’t believe that it could have wiped all of them out—which means there must be some other explanation.

Unfortunately, none is forthcoming.

The Slaeyrs split up into clans, and became a nomadic people, always watching and waiting for danger to return. Some hailed them as heroes. Others waited for them to disappear, as the Anari had. Still yet others didn’t trust their power, or their long lives, and waited for them to betray the people of Eldora.

Unfortunately, those in the latter category might have been right to suspect such treachery…

TAGLIST: @quartzses; @idreamonpaper; @runningonrain; @witchywrite; @queenofsquirrelsstuff; @margaretcroftwrites; @purpleshadows1989; @klywrites; @she-writes-love; @sixstepsaway; @neptune-nereid; @firesidefantasy; @joshuaorrizonte; @waterfallwritings; @languageisbae

okay guys one more before im caught up, then i can stop spamming ur notes

#writeblr #fantasy #world building #world building june #worldbuilding #eldora #tmq

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agustdomain · 7 years ago

Text

Running Circles Through My Mind

Synopsis: You weren’t sure when he started to become a regular thought in your mind. It was subtle, yet inevitable. The only problem was perhaps the feeling wasn’t mutual after all.

Word Count: 12.7 k

Genre: Best Friend!au, Angst, Fluff

Warnings: Language

Member: Jaemin, ft. the other Dream boys

“Hey! Hey you! I know you hear me calling you.”

You huffed underneath your breath, opting to raise the volume on your headphones instead. However, ignoring this particular friend never ended well, because he was the most persistent of them all. He proceeded to rip your headphones out of your ear, your annoyed glance meeting his equally frustrated one.

“Can I help you?” You groaned, reaching for them but with no success as he gave you an unimpressed look. You and Renjun were good enough friends to have learned how to communicate through facial looks, but more often than not you often found yourselves bickering for seemingly unimportant reasons.

“Why do you have to be so anti-social? You saw me walking over here. Who puts their headphones in when someone is approaching them?”

“I do.”

“Maybe that’s why you don’t have that many friends,” He grumbled, giving up by placing your headphones down and taking the seat across from you at the table. It was early morning, the air slightly brisk and the sun hidden somewhere in the clouds. You were midway through first hour, but luckily it was your senior year and you had miraculously managed to score a free first hour. Renjun happened to be one of the smartest guys you know, and had the smallest schedule possible, getting to leave campus around 2:10 in comparison to your 4:00.

“What do you want? You’re usually on your way to school at this time,” You mindlessly throw out there, sliding one headphone in your ear and leaving the other out to be courteous. You nibbled on an apple slice as you eyed your friend across from you.

You and Renjun had known each other most of your high school career. When you were tiny freshmen, you had a couple classes together, and rode the bus to and from school together. Your friendship really hadn’t sparked up until halfway through junior year, when you heard Renjun singing one of your favorite songs on the bus ride home. You don’t know where your spark of courage had come from, but at some red light you joined him at his seat- remembering his startled face still made you chuckle to this day- and said, “Seems to me like you might have some good music taste.” To figure out if that was true, you guys had spent the rest of the ride to his stop comparing artists you like. The rest was history.

Though you only had one class with him this year, you spent a chunk of the day missing him. You would never admit it to his face. But he was one hell of a friend.

“I want some acknowledgment once in a while. A text. A ‘How are you, Ren?’ I’m doing well, in case you were wondering.”

You just blinked at him, his antics not at all unfamiliar. After all, he was well known for his dramatic attitude, and it didn’t at all surprise you how he used to that to his advantage in the one class you guys had together: Theatre.

“No, but seriously. You never come this early. What’s up?”

He just sighed, looking around at the slightly vacant campus before slyly commenting, “I’m hanging out with some people this Friday and I was wondering if you wanted to join.”

“Ren, are you talking about that pizza place we were all thinking about hitting up?”

“You know about that?” He was genuinely surprised.

“I’m in the same group chat as you. And last time I remembered, we have the same group of friends.”

He rubbed his neck sheepishly before throwing out there, “You’re the least active person in the group chat. Don’t blame me for wondering whether or not you knew.”

“I have things to do. I can’t spam the group like Chenle and Hyuck half the time.”

“Okay. What do you have to do? Watch dog videos and talk on the phone with Lisa?”

“I don’t judge you so you don’t judge me, got it?” You pointed an apple slice at him, his hands raising up in surrender before losing your attention to your notebook. “So, why did you feel it was so important to come see me before school starts and tell me about this get-together.”

You glance up, not failing to see his little grin before letting himself hide it. He proceeded to announce in a funny voice, “I may or may not know that a certain someone will be joining us for the special occasion.”

“Spit it out. Come on.”

Renjun cleared his throat, pausing once more for dramatic effect. Just as you were about to reach across the table and grab him to shake some sense into him, he exclaimed, “A very tall and broodingly handsome guy who goes by the name Hyunjin told a little birdy he might be down to try a new pizza spot.”

Your eyes grew as wide as saucers. You spluttered, trying to form a sentence, but your mouth failing to work properly. Renjun stood up briskly, bowing as if he were performing before motioning as if he were quieting down an audience. “I know, I know. No need to thank me. In fact, I don’t even know how I did it. He’s usually so quiet in our math class. Kid barely smiles. Yet, when I see him with his friends he literally smiles like it’s a job. Anyways, he heard Mark and I talking about it in class and asked if he could come. Strange, right?”

“Are you messing with me now?”

“Nope.”

“You promise?”

“Geez. Ask Mark if you don’t believe me. You know he can’t lie for shit.”

“Ren,” You reached over, grabbing onto his arm aggressively. He gave you an annoyed look but didn’t say anything, “What do I do? I’m so embarrassing when I’m around him! I can’t go with you guys anymore!”

“Dude, relax. It’s not that serious. Just act like he’s one of us. Besides, I thought you said you were over your crush on him.”

You threw your head back, groaning in frustration. “Renjun! You’re so dense sometimes for being an actual genius! I had no choice. I approached him and literally embarrassed myself! He rejected me, remember?”

Renjun raised a finger in the air for his next point. “Technically he didn’t reject you.”

“He indirectly did.”

“No. He just told Mark, “Are you trying to set me up with one of your friends? Because if you are, don’t.”

“That’s telling me that I approached him for no reason and he let me down nice and easy before I decided to approach him a second time.”

“Okay. So what’s your point?” Checking the time on your phone, you just shook your head, feeling unnecessarily stressed about the entire situation. You could recognize that there was sense behind Renjun’s words. But you just couldn’t get your embarrassment out of your head. This was Hyunjin.

Hyunjin was a guy you hardly came across at school at all. In fact, it was your senior year and you only found out about his existence this year. He was cute, funny, and seemed quiet. Hence, why a pep talk from Donghyuck and Mark a few months ago had inspired you to approach him and ask him if he wanted to get to know each other better. He had agreed, and advised you to get his number from one of your mutual friends- which was Mark since they often did sports together- but much to your horror, only a couple days later, Mark had approached you and told you that Hyunjin had instructed him to stop trying to set him up with people he didn’t know. You were mortified, to say the least. A few months into the future, and here you were now, trying to avoid any interaction with Hyunjin at all costs.

Taking note of the bell ringing in under five minutes, you started packing up your stuff. Your silence seemed to tick Renjun off, and he childishly crossed his arms across the table. “So you’re telling me you’re going to handle this like a child and not come to hang out with your friends simply because you feel embarrassed?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying!” You stood up, feeling satisfied with that being the end of the conversation. Just as you waved at him and started to walk off to your class, you heard Renjun call, “We’ll see about that.”

Lunch rolled around that day, and you began to feel like this was the longest Monday you had ever experienced in your life. However, the last classes of your day were the most laid back- one of them being theatre- so you had hope that it would be more fun than draining.

“-And then I proceeded to whoop his ass in the next three rounds,” Donghyuck’s proud voice travelled over to your ears as you approached your signature lunch table. The way your high school was set up, half of the lunch seating area was in the cafeteria and the other half was situated outside under ramadas. Since freshman year, your group of friends opted to sit outside, no matter how hot or cold the weather could become.

“Dude, how are you going to sit there and lie to my face? You did not win those rounds in Mario Kart. First of all, who the hell plays with Koopa Troopa?”

“Me, asshole. And guess what? I kicked your ass with him!”

“Oh, shut up! I want a rematch as soon as possible-”

“Bring it on, wannabe wario-”

“Y/N! I’m so glad you’re here,” Lisa announced, drawing the attention of the others. She got up to hug you briefly before whispering, “I’m so tired of their arguments. They’re so ridiculous.”

“We can hear you, you know. We’re right next to you,” Donghyuck deadpanned, staring at her as he sipped on his chocolate milk.

She just rolled her eyes before patting the seat next to her. “It’s days like these that I wish we had classes together. Today is so long,” She complained.

You definitely agreed, reaching over and ruffling Jisung’s hair who grumbled and kept his attention on the game he was playing on his phone. “I bet this will be recorded as the longest Monday in the book of world records.”

“Hey Y/N. Where’s Ren? I need to borrow a dollar.”

“He’s working on a project in the library. He’s not eating lunch today.”

“Hyuck, you need to stop mooching off all of us. We’re not going to be around forever. Learn how to save money,” Mark pointed out, spreading ketchup across his burger. Donghyuck began scarfing down his fries, mulling over Mark’s words.

“I have money. I just leave it at home so I’m not tempted to spend it.”

“Then proceed to spend our money?” Mark amusingly said, shaking his head.

“It’s not like you guys tell me no.”

“He’s right,” Lisa said, shrugging her shoulders. Mark opened his mouth to speak, but decided against it. You just shook your head, slipping your headphones in and turning on one of your favorite playlists. You bobbed your head to the music, your thoughts trailing to other things, like a movie you recently watched and the cute boy you saw at the grocery store the other day. Your thoughts halted when you heard Lisa mutter, “Here comes lover boy and his princess.” The last word, she said bitterly, because as much as she pretended to be bothered by Jeno and his girlfriend, she actually found them adorable and just felt sad about her last relationship failing.

“Hey guys,” Chaeyoung said softly, waiting for Jeno to place his stuff down at the table before following suit.

“Hey Chaeyoung. How’s our boy doing? Is he being a pain in the ass like usual?” Donghyuck asked casually, smiling in the face of Jeno’s glare.

“You’re so annoying,” Mark commented loudly, his smile a contradiction to his words.

Chaeyoung looked genuinely confused, her eyes trailing to Jeno before looking back at Donghyuck. “No. He’s always kind and sweet to me.”

“That’s new.” Jisung speaks up for the first time, his gaze glancing up shyly over his glasses before returning to his game. Jisung was the youngest out of your group of friends, only a sophomore. It made you sad that he was going to be left here for two more years while the majority of your friends, including you, would be starting the next chapter of your lives in the upcoming months. At least he had Chenle for another year though, since he was a junior.

“Don’t listen to them. They just like to tease.” Jeno smiled at her sweetly, before shooting everyone a glare.

Lunch went on for a few moments in quiet chatter, everyone finishing up slowly and one by one. Jeno and Chaeyoung were lost in their own little worlds, Jeno taking the time to shower her in affection and spending almost every moment making her laugh. Donghyuck and Mark had their heads bowed together, looking at who knows what on Donghyuck’s phone and snickering here and there. Lisa would walk away from the table to go talk to other people then come back and talk to you for a little before heading to the vending machine and disappearing for longer than necessary. Jisung opted to read a book after getting bored of his game. This was your guys’ typical lunch routine.

“Where’s Chenle? And Jaemin?”

At the mention of Jaemin, your ears perked up, actually wondering the same as Mark about where he was at. You hadn’t seen or heard from him all weekend and was looking forward to seeing him.

“Chenle wanted to play soccer so he’s at the field right now,” Jisung quietly said, flipping a page from his book.

“I don’t know where Jaemin is. Y/N, do you know?” Jeno inquired. You two were the closest to Jaemin, so naturally one of you would typically know the answer to the question. However, you didn’t know either so you just shrugged. “He’ll show up eventually. That’s how he is,” Jeno said with finality before turning to Chaeyoung.

“Jaemin owes me a candy bar. He lost that bet on Friday, and I am expecting my damn candy bar-”

“Is there ever a moment where you’re not demanding something?” Mark said exasperatedly.

Suddenly, two hands covered your vision, and you reached up to feel them. They were soft and familiar, and you felt an uncontrollable smile grow on your lips. “Guess who,” a voice sang as you recognized it immediately. Even though he was trying to mask it by using some ridiculous high-pitched voice, you could recognize him anywhere.

“Nana! We missed you!” Donghyuck hollered, Jaemin’s presence instantly disappearing and you swiveled your head to catch him pushing Donghyuck’s arms off of him.

“Thanks, Hyuck. I missed you guys too even though I saw you this morning.” He looked down at you then, gracing you with a soft smile as he reached down and tugged your ear. That was his thing- or both your things. You don’t know when or where it started, but it was his way of saying he was happy to see you. It was never hard, only gentle, but it always made you happy when he tugged on your ear.

“Good to see your face. Today has been painfully long,” He muttered, taking the seat beside you.

“Aye. That’s Lisa’s seat.”

“You mean ‘Ghost Lisa’? Because I don’t see her sitting here now.” Jaemin silenced Donghyuck immediately, causing Mark to laugh at his priceless facial expression. You watched as Jeno and Jaemin did a handshake as a greeting, the latter flashing a friendly smile at Chaeyoung before turning to you. He raised his eyebrows at you before inquiring, “Why so quiet? You’re usually talking Mark’s ear off. Actually, I take that back. These days you’re as quiet as Mouse over here,” he gestured to Jisung by hooking his thumb towards him.

Jisung sent him an unamused look before returning his attention to his book.

You just shrugged. “Guess I’m not in the mood these days to talk.”

He furrowed his eyebrows, chewing the bite he just took of his burger before swallowing and saying, “What have you done to Y/N? You’re not her.”

You just tsked, pushing his head slightly before causing him to chuckle and shake his head. You guys sat in silence for a while, enjoying each other’s presence. Lisa came back, greeted Jaemin, then grabbed her stuff and went off who knows where. Since Jaemin was there, you didn’t really feel like listening to music anymore so you put your phone and headphones away, yet you still sat in silence.

You had known Jaemin the longest. You met him freshman year, and became friends within the three weeks you first met. He was so easy to get along with, at least you thought so. He was witty, but not in a rude way. He loved to make you laugh, and vice versa- and you two constantly laughed about the same things since you had a similar sense of humor. He was shy once in a while, but vocal about his opinions when the situation called for it. He had a way of being attentive that it felt intimate, like there was no one around but you when you were talking. He was amazing in every sense of the word, and just like Renjun, you missed him like crazy when he wasn’t around. Without him, these last four years would have been one hundred times worse.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked, his eyes flickering to you before returning to his yogurt he was currently eating.

“You,” you calmly voiced, his eyes widening at the one word. You watched as his face flushed, as he spluttered, trying to gather his words coherently. You relayed it back to how you must have acted this morning when Renjun had told you Hyunjin was joining your friends on Friday to go eat.

You reached out and squeezed Jaemin’s forearm gently before adding, “Relax. I was just thinking about what you said the other day. When you mentioned going on a small trip with your family. Like camping, right? Is that still happening?”

Jaemin had taken the time you were speaking to pull himself together, returning to his normal self. You oddly found it super adorable how randomly flustered he had gotten. He was the most composed guy you knew, at least majority of the time. “Yeah, that’s still happening. I’m leaving school early on Friday to hit the road. I sort of don’t want to go, but oh well. I’ll be back by Tuesday.”

“You’ll have fun. Don’t be bummed out.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Jaemin scraped at his yogurt cup, his thoughts overtaking his mind, it seemed, before he checked his phone and cursed. “I need to go see my counselor. I’ll see you in class, okay?”

He gathered his stuff quickly before saying goodbye to everyone and leaving. It was just like him to see his counselor every waking moment he got, and you envied how dedicated he was to the task. College was nearing in the future quicker than you would like to admit, and though you were practically jumping with excitement for graduation, you still felt the inevitable goodbyes starting to weigh on your chest. But you had almost an entire semester left, and you were going to cherish what little time you had with your friends until you went your separate ways.

“Hey, so who’s going on Friday?” Jeno said, glancing around the table. “If anyone needs it, I’ll pick you up.”

“Aren’t we going straight after school?” Donghyuck asked, confused.

“I don’t know. Who planned this?”

“Chenle.”

“And of course he’s not here. Okay, so who’s riding with me to the pizza place?”

“I will,” Donghyuck said, then added, “Lisa probably will too. Jisung, what about you?”

“Yeah, sounds good,” He quietly said, turning to you, “Are you coming, Y/N?”

“Um,” You said, looking for the words as everyone’s gaze turned to you.

“What do you mean, ‘Um’?” Donghyuck sassily asked, raising his eyebrow as if he were your mother accusing you of lying.

“I don’t think I am.”

Mark immediately looked concerned, knowing you never liked to miss out on hanging out- when pizza was involved, it was most definitely a yes from you. “Is it about money? I got you covered if it is.”

“No! It’s not that… I’m just… not feeling it?”

Everyone grew quiet, gazes being exchanged between everyone.

“What?” You asked, looking around and feeling as if you missed something.

“You? Not feeling pizza?” Jeno offered, with no emotion laced into the words.

“You’re lying. Tell us the truth,” Mark announced.

“Is Mark pissing you off these days? Is he annoying you? Because I understand then if that’s the reason you’re not going- Ow! Mark, that hurt!”

“It was meant to hurt, dumbass! Cut it out! You’re not even funny! Y/N loves me! Right, Y/N?” He said the last part, sounding hopeful and a little self-conscious.

You shook your head and said, “It’s nothing like that. And of course I love you, Mark. I just... Got a lot going on. I’m tired and I want to take the weekend to de-stress.” You’re not necessarily sure why you didn’t tell them it was because you were embarrassed that Hyunjin was coming, because you knew Mark would more or less understand and Jisung supported mostly everything you did. And you knew Jeno would probably brush it off, leaving Donghyuk to make fun of you. But you just couldn’t bring yourself to explain the situation. And the only ones who technically knew about it were Renjun, Mark, and Jaemin.

“Well, if you change your mind, let me know,” Mark said seriously before smiling and proudly saying, “Besides, we all know it’s going to be lit in my car if it’s just Chenle and me.”

“Excuse me while I go barf,” Jeno said. Mark threw a carrot at him, causing you to laugh and allow your thoughts of your embarrassment fade away.

It was your final class of the day, and you had to admit, it indeed was the longest Monday you had ever had. Of course, you were being dramatic, but now you were tired and grumpy and your last class happened to be math, your least favorite subject. However, the upside was one of your favorite people happened to be in this class.

See, you had depended on Renjun to make your class right after lunch fun, but he spent whatever chance he got to pester you about coming on Friday, which in turn made you snap at him and cause him to give you attitude back. Eighth hour dragged on too, and here you were at your last class. Your class with Jaemin.

“Hey,” Jaemin’s bright smile directly contrasted with the tone of the day, his eyebrows raising at your grumble in response. You slid into the desk next to his, your head finding its way to the cool desktop. “You’re looking rough.”

“Because I am. Today sucked. And we have four more to go until the weekend.”

“Think of it as three. Friday never really feels like much work, does it?” You moved your head to rest your cheek on the desktop, so you could view Jaemin instead. He was looking right back at you, his pretty features quite literally knocking the breath out of you. You couldn’t fathom sometimes just how beautiful this guy actually was, and whenever you pointed it out he would just brush it off. Watching you silently for a moment, he proceeded to make a silly face and cause you to laugh, adorning a smile to brighten up his facial features.

“Attagirl. That’s better. What’s got you so down?” He asked genuinely, leaning on his hand and turning on that attentive charm that secretly you were a sucker for; you didn’t know how he did it, but he was another shade of what it means to be a friend. A beautiful friend.

“I don’t know. First off, it’s a Monday. Mondays tend to suck,” Jaemin simply hummed in agreement, “And school’s been kinda rough in general anyways. I just keep having this sinking feeling that somehow I am going to mess everything up, fail every class, my college retracts my enrollment, and then I drop out and get a job where I miserably work for the rest of my life,” You took in a deep breath after that statement, feeling oddly relieved for expressing what sounded like a ridiculous worry.

Jaemin took in your words for a moment, the minute bell ringing signalling there’s one minute left until class begins. He reached over then, gently caressing the side of your head before patting it and saying, “Y/N, I know how you are. You tend to get caught up in irrational worries. I know you’re struggling with classes right now, and I see how much your stress is taking a toll on you. You probably think no one notices, but I do. We all do, but everyone else probably won’t say something until it’s too noticeable. I’m not like everyone else though.”

He leaned closer then, your heart suddenly stopping as you unconsciously held your breath, not expecting his close proximity. His head was tilted at an angle to match your resting head atop the desk, his facial expression more serious than you’re typically used to, and his eyes immediately drew you in- not that you weren’t listening before.

“You’re one of the most resilient people I know. Don’t forget I’ve known you for four years, seen you when you’re struggling with stress and schoolwork. And you always pull through. This time isn’t any different. Keep your head up and keep it on straight,” He proceeded to tug on your ear and flash you a gentle smile, your throat suddenly feeling dry at his actions, “We’re almost at the finish line. Before you know it, we’re going to be graduating and moving on. And I know you can’t wait, because I can’t either.”

The bell rang then, seeming to signal the end of the conversation and begin your teacher’s lesson. You raised your head and directed your gaze to the teacher at the front of the classroom, your attention nowhere near the math she was writing on the board. Because for whatever reason, you couldn’t describe why your heart was racing and your throat felt so dry.

“I must be going crazy,” You whispered, feeling uneasy at the thoughts surrounding Jaemin, and why your heart reacted to that. In the end, you just decided to ignore it.

After the bell rang, Jaemin walked you down the stairs and to Chenle’s locker, waiting for the latter to meet you there and walk to the bus with you guys. You guys stood in silence, but it was comfortable as he looked around at the people walking by and you scrolled through social media on your phone.

“I heard from Ren that you’re not going to eat pizza on Friday. That’s not like you,” Jaemin said with innocence. You stopped scrolling, not feeling the annoyance that came with Renjun’s pestering. You blamed it on Jaemin’s tone and the way he executed his sentence, not because it was Jaemin himself. Definitely not because it was just Jaemin.

“It is like me. Because I plan to binge-watch some criminal show and eat ice cream for dinner.”

Jaemin tilted his head, looking at you curiously before retorting, “Yeah. I suppose you’re right. You want to tell me the reason you don’t want to go?”

You sighed. “You already know why. You don’t have to play innocent.”

“I’m not playing innocent. I don’t know your reason why. Yeah, I heard what Ren thinks is the reason. But I want to hear it straight from your mouth. And you know how he is when it comes to explaining things that upset him. It’s more complaining than about the actual situation.”

You leaned your head back on the locker you were standing in front of, cursing Chenle for walking so slow and probably chatting up Jisung about some show they’re both watching.

“Do I have to?”

He looked away from you, quiet for a moment before saying gently, “Of course not. But I think there’s more to your side of the story. And maybe you’re not as dramatic as the situation is painting you to be.”

You had to admit the situation did seem dramatic, and Jaemin wasn’t one to sugarcoat how he looked at a situation. So you decided maybe it was a good idea to confide in him and see if he thought you were overreacting. “I’m sure you know that Hyunjin is tagging along,” You waited for his nod before continuing, “Which, I mean, is totally fine. I have nothing against him personally. It is a little weird to me considering Ren and Mark don’t know him too well and just decided, ‘Hey. Let’s invite a stranger to hang out with our friends.’ But I mean, I guess Mark does know him because they played basketball and baseball together. Whatever. Point is, I have nothing against the guy. He seems cool, I guess. I just…”

“I’m assuming this is about what happened a few months ago?”

Your phone dinged, and you looked down to see a message from Chenle letting you know he was riding with Jeno today to run some errands. You let Jaemin know and you guys began your walk to the buses, replaying his question in your head before answering. “Yes. I guess that’s really it. Look, I know it might sound like I am being a big baby about it. I’m choosing my embarrassment over hanging out with my friends. But if I could control my emotions, I would. Before I approached Hyunjin in the past, I used to never see him around. And now it’s like life is messing with my head. Because I see him everywhere around school now. And he seems to recognize me too, but I just ignore him and try and get far as quick as possible. The embarrassment is unreal.”

Jaemin nodded as you talked, and you took his silence as a comfort, causing you to feel comfortable enough to continue. “I could go out with them on Friday. But I would just feel self-conscious, and worried Hyunjin would bring it up and then embarrass me more. Then Donghyuck would find out and never let go of it and I just- I don’t want to deal with it.”

You let yourself end there, because you didn’t know what to say anymore. It was quiet for a while, the bus stop nearing as you wondered what Jaemin was thinking. You peaked at him, his dark brown hair resting on his hair in fluffy strands, looking particularly bed-headish today. You took note of his slightly tired face, and wondered how he could be so lively on days where he was tired.

“May I tell you what I think is actually the problem? And you can correct me if I’m wrong.”

His words caught you off guard, not sure where he was going with this, because after all you didn’t feel any other way about it. At least, you thought. You motioned for him to continue, him proceeding to nod and collect his thoughts before continuing.

“I think… You might still like Hyunjin. Or, have a crush on him is probably a better phrase,” You gave him an incredulous look but he held a hand up as if to to signal for you to wait, “And that’s probably why you feel so passionate about not going. I know how you are. If a situation affects you emotionally, you will retract yourself from said situation. Simple as that. If you didn’t care about it, then you wouldn’t go to the extremes of being so adamant about not going.”

You immediately shook your head. “But it’s not because I’m still crushing on him. It’s because I’m-”

“Embarrassed. Yeah, I get that. But you have been embarrassed all the time around us and that has never stopped you from hanging out with us.”

“I don’t personally know this guy though. What if he brings it up in front of everyone?”

“What if he does? It’s not like you made a fool of yourself. You told him if you wanted to get to know each other. He said yes. Then he went back on his word and told Mark to not set him up with anyone. That’s on him. Why are you letting a stranger hold you back from hanging out with your friends?”

“And why is everyone pestering me about going? It’s not that serious.”

“Exactly.” He poked your temple, causing you to swat his hand away and that familiar smile to creep on his face. As you reached the bus stop, you turned to him and met his gaze, his eyebrows raising as if to ask you a silent question. He broke the silence instead, letting you know what questioning thought was plaguing him. “So you don’t like him then?”

“No.” In your head, it had sounded firm, but it sounded unsure coming out of your mouth. His face became serious, and it weirded you out, because he was usually smiling. It gave you an odd feeling in your stomach.

“If you do, there’s nothing wrong with it. It would make more sense, because then the embarrassment would be justified. And if that’s the case, then you should explain that to Ren so he stops being so annoying. You should also consider maybe going and showing this Hyunjin guy what he decided to miss out on. You’re pretty amazing, after all.” His words were nonchalant, but his face stern. That feeling that crept up on you earlier in class started to come back again, and it almost felt similar to being sick in a weird way. Your stomach flipped, watching Jaemin drone on about the situation, his words hardly registering in your mind anymore. Your throat felt dry again, your eyes traveling the expanse of his straight nose, following his dark and very slightly curved eyebrows. His hair was a bit on the messy side today, which was unlike him, but you disregarded that. He was truly beautiful. “Y/N? Are you listening to me?”

You blinked, the feeling fading away as quickly as it came.

“I hear what you were saying,” It wasn’t a complete lie. “And I guess you’re sort of right.”

“So you do like him,” He tilted his head, his eyes trailing to the pavement beneath your guys’ feet. His words sent a panic fleeting through, jumping to deny it.

“No, Jaemin- I can’t like him. I don’t even know the guy. Gosh, this is so frustrating. Why do I have to keep having this conversation? I thought you were the person that understood me the most. Don’t you think I would tell you if I actually liked him? If it’s so important for everyone that I show up on Friday, I will.”

As if on cue, the bus turned the corner and slowly made its approach.

Jaemin opened his mouth to speak, but you held your hand up, wanting the conversation to end. “It’s okay, Jaemin. You and Ren are right. It’s not that big of a deal. I’ll just pretend that nothing happened and I’ll pretend I’ve never talked to Hyunjin before Friday. It’ll be a fresh start.”

He just shook his head, a sigh of exasperation slipping past his lips. “You’re missing the point here. Of course.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? The vibe I’m getting from you is that I’m being dramatic and I should get over it and just go on Friday.” The bus rolled up then, and you were never more grateful than now. Just as you turned to climb into the bus, you caught Jaemin motioning by waving his hand over his head and uttering, “Went right over your head, of course. Unbelievable.”

And as you boarded the bus, and took your seat, watching through the window as he stalked off in the direction of his house, you couldn’t shake the nasty feeling that was left behind by the conversation you just had. And on your ride home, it was Jaemin on your mind. Unbeknownst to you, it was not the first time he was plaguing your thoughts. You couldn’t shake whatever it was you were feeling, all you knew is you didn’t like how you and Jaemin had ended off the conversation. Because that wasn’t how you guys were at all. And you hoped it wouldn’t start being like that. You were proud of your dynamic with Jaemin, and it wasn’t like you guys to end a conversation on a sour note. But maybe you were overthinking it. Maybe you were always overthinking about Jaemin, and you just didn’t know it.

It was around 11:30 that night when you received a text from Jaemin. He was saved under Minnie Mouse, because you thought you were clever as a Freshman and you never changed it considering you enjoyed how it made Jaemin cringe.

Minnie Mouse:

Hey. You up?

You:

You know I am. I’m watching a show on my phone. But I am surprisingly getting sleepy. It’s so early tho…

He didn’t respond for a few minutes. You shook the feeling off, and tried to focus on your show, but you immediately clicked the notification when he responded almost fifteen minutes later.

Minnie Mouse:

I’m sorry about earlier. I was being really intrusive, which isn’t like me. I stand by some of what I said, but the way I worded it was bad. If you don’t want to go, don’t go. Don’t listen to Ren, and don’t listen to me. I understand what you meant by everything you said, and if it were me, I’m sure I wouldn’t want to put myself in that situation either. Remember not to put your life on pause though based on your embarrassments. If that is the only thing keeping you from going, then think about it a little more before outright rejecting the idea. But you’re one of my best friends, and I don’t want you to be miserable on Friday. Again, I’m sorry.

You read it over a few times, feeling anxious for some reason. Your eyes skimmed it, continued to re-skim it before trying to type out a response. However, everything you tried to write didn’t sound right or it was awkward, so it took some time to eventually be semi-satisfied with what was written. You sent it and tossed your phone to the side, wondering why you kept replaying that moment with Jaemin earlier. Seeing his frustration. Being the cause of his frustration. You didn’t like it at all. You liked making him smile, making him laugh. You even liked seeing him flustered during lunch. You didn’t ever want to be the reason behind him being upset. You reached for your phone slowly upon hearing it vibrate.

You:

You don’t have to apologize, Jaemin. You were being yourself. You were curious about why I was being so dramatic. And everything you said made sense. Though I don’t agree with everything you said, you had a point. I did a lot of thinking since our conversation earlier. And I’ll go on Friday. I think even without talking to you, I might’ve reached this conclusion myself. Maybe I wouldn’t have… you tend to be my voice of reason when mine isn’t working. I think I just needed to take a moment and get over my embarrassment.

You:

Honestly, it was months ago. I’m sure he doesn’t even remember. And if he does, it’s not a big deal. And I do want to have pizza. I want to hang out with my best friends. I’ll just treat him like one of you guys. Be friendly. And there’s no reason for me to halt my chances of having fun just because of a cringey moment in my past. Thanks, Nana. Sometimes the sense you knock into me is one of a kind <3 Ren definitely would’ve just made it worse haha

Minnie Mouse:

It’s what I’m here for, to knock some sense into you.

Minnie Mouse:

But honestly, don’t force yourself to go if you don’t want to. What you want and what makes you happy is the main priority.

You:

This will make me happy.

Minnie Mouse:

Good. I want you to be happy.

You stared down at his text, your fingers hovering over the screen. You licked your lips in thought, wondering why you felt stuck at his words. In fact, you hardly ever had a conversation with Jaemin where you didn’t know what to say. Conversation always flowed naturally with him. Today really must have been an off day for you.

You:

Likewise, Nana. I think I’m going to get some shuteye now. Goodnight. Sweet dreams.

Minnie Mouse:

Sweet dreams, Y/N.

You prepped for bed, replaying the conversation in your head. You thought back to today in class, when Jaemin heard what you thought were ridiculous worries, but made you feel sensible. He comforted you about worries you never voiced aloud. He said what you needed to hear, and he was always good at that. He smiled his dazzling smile at you, granting you a stress reliever by the simple tug of your ear. He was incredible in every sense of the word, and you were so grateful to have him.

As you laid in bed, the last thing on your mind was Jaemin. You were too tired to notice, or perhaps it was something you never bothered to notice at all.

A couple days later, it was Wednesday and it was the dead middle of the week. A day that your friends sometimes like to utilize as an excuse for desserts after school.

“Hump day!” Chenle hollered, pumping his fist into the air as you all walked towards the parking lot.

“Hell yeah! I’ve been craving a banana split all week,” Donghyuck groaned, dragging his feet.

“You’re a banana split,” Chenle called back to him.

“That doesn’t make any sense!”

“Okay, who’s riding with who?”

“I’m going with Mark!” Chenle declared, dashing over to the passenger side of Mark’s small little white car. Jisung silently followed him.

“Ride with me and Jeno?” Jaemin asked you quietly, his arm falling across your shoulders. You froze, instantly stiffening up at the gesture. You gazed up at him, a small smile curving his lips and his eyes as attentive as usual.

Your throat felt constricted for a moment, before you felt your body relax and a smile grace your own. “Of course. Is that even a question?” Something strange happened then. Jaemin’s small smile faded, his face taking on an odd look. You didn’t realize your close proximity, but his face was closer than you expected. You waited for something, anything from him, but only watched as he wiped the odd look off his face and turned his attention to Jeno, shouting at him to hurry up and kiss Chaeyoung goodbye already. His arm was still slung around your shoulders. And you found yourself too lazy to look away from his face. At least that’s what you thought.

“Hey. I’ll ride with Jeno too. So go with Mark, Ren.”

“No! I was already here!” Renjun said sassily, leaning back on the car to make a point. Lisa stepped toward him and crossed her arms. That didn’t faze him, however, and he only proceeded to straighten himself out. Their height difference was very slight, but Ren still managed to make himself seem taller as he looked down at her over his nose.

“I don’t care if you were here already. I want to ride with Y/N.”

“No one’s stopping you.”

“It would be crowded with you in here. So ride with them.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were my boss.”

She rubbed the bridge of her nose, sighing in frustration. “Why do you have to be so annoying all the time?”

He grinned. “The feeling’s mutual.”

Jaemin shook his head and stepped in, placing a hand on Ren’s shoulder. “Dude, just ride with Mark. Before you kill the vibe for everyone.”

“What?! How am I- Whatever. I don’t have the time for this,” He strode over to Mark’s car without another word, sliding into the backseat. Both you and Jaemin watched as Mark pulled the car out, Chenle rolling the window down and blasting the music, shouting, “Y/N! This is my jam! This is the song I was telling you about! I- Stop, Ren! Anyways-” By that time, Mark was pulling out the parking lot and he couldn’t shout at you anymore.

You smiled fondly, shaking your head and glancing at Jaemin who was watching you with an emotionless look. You just brushed it off, wondering where Jeno was. Lisa must’ve been wondering the same thing because she continuously kept on calling him, with no luck in him answering.

“Literally all the guys we hang out with are so frustrating! If it’s so hard for him and Chaeyoung to stop sucking faces, then bring her along!”

Jaemin responded with, “I’m not frustrating. I’m the coolest guy you’ll ever meet.”

“Sure. Keep dreaming, sweetheart,” She said.

“Wonder what’s bothering her,” Jaemin uttered near your ear, his breath fanning over your ear and over a sliver of your neck that your sweater left exposed. You looked up at him, watching him as he watched Lisa with curiosity. You started to notice just how much you stared at Jaemin these days, and you didn’t know what to make of it. You just wrote it off on being attentive to him constantly talking.

“There you are! Let’s go! I want a burger.”

Jeno jogged over, whistling and smiling like the giddy lover boy he was.

“I’m surprised your lips aren’t back with Chaeyoung,” Jaemin commented, causing you to laugh. He shot you a smile, but Jeno wasn’t too happy with the comment, leaving Jaemin locked outside the passenger seat for longer than necessary.

The ride there was relatively quick, but Jaemin kept stealing glances at you, a smile on his lips every single time. Lisa and Jeno filled the silence with their chatter and endless banter, but it was like you and Jaemin continued to have a silent conversation of your own. Whenever Jeno would say something that could have a double meaning, Jaemin would glance back at you with wide eyes, as if to say, “Did you catch that?” and you would shake your head and smile as if to say, “I did. And it was hilarious.” And if Lisa would say something weird or more than unnecessary, he would send you a, “Did she really just say that?” by raised eyebrows or a pointed look. And you would either shrug, shake your head, or just rub the side of your head in mild annoyance. But none of those moments were your favorite, no. It was the brief quiet moments. With soft music playing low on the speakers and floating in the air of the car. And the A/C blowing softly, to keep it cold enough that you weren’t freezing in your sweater. And there wasn’t any reason for Jaemin to look over his shoulder at you, but he would anyways. He would just send you a soft smile, his eyes light and carefree. The last time he looked back, when you were nearing the diner where you were to get your desserts, his lips weren’t curved with a smile. His expression wasn’t serious, but it was attentive as usual. However, it wasn’t like it usually is. He eyebrows were slightly drawn together in thought, his lips a bit pursed. His eyes scanned your face, before his lips parted and his expression relaxed. When his eyes came to rest on your own, he was shameless about his staring, and for some reason you weren’t bothered nor embarrassed. You boldly met his own gaze, holding it and letting the music travel to your ears.

No one spoke in the car. Nothing was heard but the soft music and the soft blow of the A/C. And you and Jaemin were having a conversation in a language you couldn’t decipher, but couldn’t get enough of as you let the moment wash over you. None of you couldn’t find it in you to look away, and it felt more intimate than any other time you guys held each other’s gaze. You didn’t know what it meant, but you knew that whatever it was, you wanted more of it.

Jeno spoke to Jaemin, and Jaemin answered him, glancing at him briefly before looking back at you. His eyebrows drew together again, his face more on the stern side, which was unlike him. You wondered what you looked like to him. Jeno continued talking to him, and Jaemin had no choice but to look away. And when he did, it was like you could breathe again. All you could think was, you didn’t know why you were feeling this way for Jaemin, and you didn’t know what you were going to do.

Thursday night. It was around midnight this time when you got a text from him. Lucky for him, you were wide awake. And you didn’t want to admit to yourself that it was because he was plaguing your thoughts.

Minnie Mouse:

You awake?

You:

Of course. What’s up?

Minnie Mouse:

Wondering why I procrastinate like an idiot. I’m nowhere near finished packing for my trip tomorrow.

You:

Sucks to suck.

Minnie Mouse:

Haha. Real funny. Want to keep me company?

You stared down at the text, confused. Another text came in from him though, and it made more sense, a smile uncontrollably reaching your lips.

Minnie Mouse:

By video call, I mean.

You:

Warning, I look pretty rough. After 11, I start resembling a hot mess, instead of the solid 11 that I am.

Instead of responding, you figured he signed into his account on his computer, so you followed suit. Sure enough, after you logged in you saw the little verification that showed he was online. You called him, waiting for him to answer, which didn’t take long whatsoever.

You waited for the call the connect, your heart rate picking up for seemingly no good reason. You glanced at yourself, seeing how tired and messy you looked. But this was Jaemin, and he had seen you at both your best and worst. When the call connected, you first noticed how his room was lit up by the light being on. His computer was set on top of his desk, which basically let you see a poster-clad wall that also had award plaques and shelves with books, trophies, and other things lined at the top of the wall. You could see a slit of his bed to the left and a small percentage of his walk-in closet that was cracked open with the light on in the back right corner. You always adored seeing his dark blue walls, longing for the same color to be for your room. Instead your room was a boring and dull brown.

The second thing you noticed was how even though it was late, Jaemin looked good. His hair was swept up and off his forehead, sticking up here and there in odd places but mostly in order. He was adorned in a slightly baggy black t-shirt and some gray sweats. He was leaned down in view of the camera. He smiled upon seeing you and waved, then started to move around his room, carrying things from out of view towards his bed.

“I see you at least started the process of packing,” You said, carrying your computer to your bed and treading over to your lights, hitting them, before walking back to your bed. You sat on top of your comforter, watching him move in and out of view. You spent some time in the dark using the computer screen’s light to study your nails. You altered between watching Jaemin and letting your thoughts occupy your attention. A chunk of your video call was just spent in a comfortable silence, with an occasional comment from Jaemin here and there. You enjoyed this, and you liked this time with Jaemin. As selfish as it sounded, it wasn’t often that you got to spend time alone with him. So you were going to drink it in as much as possible. It was because you enjoyed your talks with him, not because you were into him. That’s what you were telling yourself.

You glanced down at your pajamas, pulling your black hoodie sleeves over your hands

to keep them warm. You started getting sleepy, but blinked it away. You wanted to keep Jaemin company through the tedious process of packing. So you moved around on the bed, switching positions. You eventually decided on drawing your knees into your torso and wrapping your arms around your legs. You laid your head on top of your knees, slowly falling asleep.

“Y/N,” Jaemin sang, your head slowly raising and spotting his facial features close to the computer. You didn’t understand how he looked so rejuvenated as his face brightened at the sight of your face. “If you’re sleepy, you should get some rest.”

“I want to keep you company, Nana.”

He looked down in what you thought was shyness, a shy chuckle falling past his lips. He ran his hand through his hair, puzzling you immediately at how good he looked this late at night and how you never noticed that this hairstyle fit him so well.

“As much as I want you to be here with me, I don’t want to be the reason you’re falling asleep in class tomorrow.”

Your breath felt like it disappeared into thin air at his words, but you shook it off and blamed it on sleepiness. “No, I’m good. I promise.”

He just took a moment to look at you, before resting his head on his hand and puckering his lips slightly in thought. “Let’s talk then. If you’re going to stay up with me, I don’t want you to be miserable as you fight off sleep. I want to make your night.”

He said things so innocently, yet they held such strange meaning to you that you just knew would replay over and over in your mind long after the conversation ended. Something about Jaemin was changing the way you looked at things, that way you looked at him. Or maybe you always did look at him this way, it just took a bit of time for your mind to catch up to your heart. Whatever it was, you knew you were going to keep it to yourself.

“Okay. What do you want to talk about?”

Jaemin simply smiled again and the continued his packing, calling out, “So are you looking forward to tomorrow?”

“What about tomorrow?”

“The new pizza place. Hanging out with everyone.”

“Oh. That.” You actually hadn’t thought about it much, and looking back on it, you were only a little nervous to say the least. You would’ve felt way better if Jaemin was going to be there, but you would live. You figured you would just spend your time talking with everyone. “It would be better if you were going to be there. But I’ll survive. I hope the pizza’s good.”

“I heard it was,” Jaemin was quiet for a moment, and you just figured he was distracted but upon speaking again, you figured it was because he was probably thinking of how to word his next question, “So you’re feeling okay about Hyunjin being there?”

You rubbed your hands in thought, massaging them as if they held the answer to your question. Your heart jumped as you heard Jaemin zip up his suitcase then move it to the floor. You waited for him, letting him finish things before turning out his lights and getting into bed like you.

His surroundings were shrouded in darkness, his face lit up by the computer screen. You couldn’t decide if it made him look angelice or eerie, but when he graced you with another smile, you decided it was definitely angelic. He was on his side, his head in his hand. And you realized you indeed were screwed, and you were definitely crushing hard on your friend Na Jaemin.

“So. Hyunjin?”

“Right. I mean, I guess it feels just like it did right before I first approached him the first time.”

“Oh. Really?” Jaemin asked quietly, his face serious.

“Of course, it’s a little different. Considering I’m not showing him my interest in him. It just feels a little nerve-wracking.”

“I would feel the same. It’s not everyday your closest friends invite someone who you used to have feelings for.”

“That’s true.”

You basked in silence for a moment, both you and Jaemin looking at each other through the computer screens. Although you guys were a distance away from each other, in different houses and merely seeing each other through the use of technology, the moment felt as intimate as the one in the car. Maybe even more so now that Jeno and Lisa weren’t around.

“You know,” Jaemin’s voice got quieter, and you may have imagined it being a little more deeper than usual, “You run through my mind. A lot.”

Your heart rate picked up, gauging his facial expression for any signs of joking. Your mind was racing, trying to decode his words, figure out his angle, read his intentions. But it was late at night, it felt wrong to kill the moment by overthinking, so even though you may regret in the future, you decided to let the late night tired buzz take over and let you speak your mind without holding back.

“I’m glad I’m not the only one.”

He hummed, his eyes getting sleepy and his words becoming more like a lull. “It’s hard not to think about someone like you.”

You felt like your appearance directly mirrored his, but you wanted to soak in his peaceful features, so through your sleepy daze, your eyes did its usual sweep of his facial features. You thought to yourself how could you possibly not be head over heels for this guy.

“Who wouldn’t be crazy over you?”

His eyes were closed now, his breaths deep and slow. You thought he fell asleep, so you slowly moved your mouse to hover over the end call button. Just as you were going to click, you heard his soft and sleepy voice mutter, “Wait for me, Y/N.”

“What do you mean?” But he was out like a light. And you were too tired to demand an answer. So you ended the call and went to sleep.

You didn’t know what was so different about this particular Friday, but the feeling in the air was vastly different from how you felt on Monday. This day, you felt warm, filled up, and every smile felt effortless. You were dressed nicer than you normally would be at school- nothing too fancy, just a white shirt, black jeans, and your favorite boots with a jean jacket to complete the ensemble. You were wearing a necklace Renjun bought you back at the beginning of the year and your hair was up, which was unusual for you. You even had some light makeup. Your friends would probably assume it was for Hyunjin when he would come out to eat with you guys. It wasn’t for him though. It wasn’t even for Jaemin. It was for yourself.

You felt wide awake when you woke up in the morning, a feeling so foreign to you. A smile graced your lips as you picked out your outfit, as you proceeded to get ready. You were in a good mood on the way to school, when you got there, and when you sat to eat breakfast. You were happy through your morning classes all the way to lunch. And maybe it was a little because of Jaemin, but it was mostly because it felt like some weight that was previously on your chest had disappeared. Or so you thought.

“Woah, someone’s looking fancy today,” Chenle commented when you walked up with your lunch.

“Are you dolled up for someone?” Mark inquired, his curiosity imminent as he glanced up from his applesauce.

“No. Just in a good mood. That’s all.”

“Is that so? That’s weird. You’re the grumpiest person on this Earth.” Donghyuck said, earning a punch from Jisung. You smiled at Jisung before shooting a glare at Donghyuck who only muttered under his breath,

“Hey. When does Jaemin leave for his trip?” Chenle asked the table. “We have class before lunch together and he was still here.”

“He’s getting picked up right now during lunch. I’m sure he’s going to say bye then leave,” Mark informed the table. And he was right- to an extent.

Shortly afterward, Jeno and Jaemin approached the table, both their faces oddly serious. It was so strange to see not only Jaemin, someone who genuinely smiles a lot, but Jeno, the prince of smiling, with no emotions flitted across their face. Jeno had food in his hand, but you assumed Mark’s assumptions were right because Jaemin was empty-handed.

“We were just talking about you! Are you leaving now?” Chenle asked, getting up and hugging Jaemin as a form of greeting.

“Yeah, actually, I am. I just came over here to say goodbye.” You were hoping he would do his usual routine of smiling over at you and tugging your ear, but you immediately knew something was wrong when he avoided looking anywhere in the direction of where you sat at the table.

He looked painfully gorgeous today. His hair was swept up and off his forehead once again. He was wearing a button up striped shirt, the sleeves rolled up like he didn’t know the air had a chilly bite to it. It slightly confused you that he was dressed like that when he was going to camp, but you dismissed it as his outfit for school.

Everyone simultaneously stood up and began saying their goodbyes, you hanging back a little bit to be the last one to say goodbye. You were worried about the way he didn’t look at you when he approached the table, but you figured it was because his mind was on the trip, not you. You watched as he had a little chat with Mark and they clasped each other’s hands, doing a one-handed hug. Mark said something to make him laugh, but you didn’t catch what he said.

Jeno was the last one to go before you, Jaemin’s expression becoming serious again. Their voices were low, and their conversation was brief, but they still hugged. You let Jeno move to sit before you took a step in Jaemin’s direction. Hiis eyes found yours for a brief moment, his lips pursed, before he began walking backwards in the direction of the office. You froze in your tracks, your mind going blank as you realized he was leaving without saying goodbye to you. He waved slightly at you guys, hollering, “See you guys Tuesday!”

Your eyes stared in the direction he left, still staring long after he was out of view. Your friends were quiet, obviously noticing what had just occurred. You found it difficult to turn to face your friends. You told your throat to stop feeling so tight, your eyes to stop being so sensitive, and you pushed it all down. Your friends know you a little too well. As you turned to them, Mark immediately said, “I’m sure he was just in a rush, Y/N. He wouldn’t do that on purpose. Especially to you.”

But you knew better. You knew Jaemin. It was what he didn’t do that mattered. And you knew that it was completely intentional.

The moment had come, the day you had been dreading and looking forward to all at the same time. Since lunch time, you hadn’t really felt like yourself, but you pushed it all to the back of your mind and anticipated going home later that night and crashing.

Like Friday, you were walking toward the parking lot for Jeno’s car. You were accompanied by Ren and Chenle, and they were chattering about something that happened in class earlier on, but you weren’t paying attention. You couldn’t help it, but whenever your mind trailed, your brain decided to torture you and replay what happened with Jaemin during lunch.

It was so painfully obvious what it meant, and how it conveniently happened the day after what you guys had said sleepily on the video call. Not only did it hurt, it made you angry that this was the way he was addressing what you both said. You deserved more, and if he truly decided to be rude about it, then so be it. You weren’t going to let it bring you down.

Reaching the parking lot, your heart uncontrollably jumped at the sight of Hyunjin standing at Mark’s car. His stoic gaze traveled over to you and the guys, and thankfully there was no sign of recognition in his gaze. Chenle bounded over, thrusting his hand out to greet Hyunjin. You watched their exchange, and watched as Hyunjin laughed over something Chenle said. He looked nice when he laughed. You shook off the thought before getting into Jeno’s car and waiting for the rest of the night to unravel, a certain boy running through your mind.

Through the car ride, you noted how Jeno was unusually quiet, and not his usual smiley self. You connected how he was acting with the way he was during lunch and made a note to ask if was okay later, before letting your mind wander elsewhere.

Eventually you reached your destination. The pizza place, not cleverly, was called Peek-a-Pizza, and was not necessarily impressive in appearance. It was small and didn’t look busy at all, which was weird since it was relatively new, but none of that fazed you or your friends as you entered.

You quickly found a booth, your heart literally jumping to your throat when you were second to last to slide into the booth and it left Hyunjin to be the one on the outside, right next to you. You had to admit, he looked as handsome as you remembered. His hair was as dark as ink and laid across his forehead in a oddly neat way for appearing a little messy. His face was quite intimidating when he had no facial expression, and past you would have been fawning about how potentially hot he looked. He was dressed in a baggy black long sleeve and ripped black jeans. You watched through the corner of your eye as he fiddled with the shaker that held Parmesan cheese. He twisted it in his hands, his eyes trailing around the small establishment. Suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, his eyes found the side of your face, no expression hidden in his features whatsoever. You tried calming down your racing heart, thankful that your expression was fixed and calm. Your eyes met his, just as silent as him and waiting for his reaction.

He just snickered before looking away, leaving you perplexed and turning away. As you waited for your pizza, you chatted with Lisa and Chenle who sat across from you. Hyunjin and Mark talked mostly to each other while Jisung sat on the other side of you, which caused you to naturally strike up conversation with him.

Everything was running smoothly so far. The food arrived, and it didn’t disappoint as you all dug in, feeling hungry and satisfied with every bite. Conversation only sparked up again after people started not feeling hungry anymore. As you were grabbing another slice, your ears perked at the mention of Jaemin’s name from Donghyuck’s mouth. You hadn’t caught the beginning of the conversation, but you froze in the middle of biting your pizza when you heard what they were actually talking about.

“No, me too. I’m surprised too.” Donhyuck exclaimed, quieter than usual.

“Especially Jaemin. You know how he is. His focus is school or Y/N,” Renjun said casually. You made it seem like you weren’t listening, your head facing Lisa and Chenle, but listening on the other boys’.

“I think it’s good for him. He needs to get out there and experience life already. We’re about to graduate, and honestly I’m all for it. Dahyun is a pretty girl. And she’s funny. I think she’s perfect for him.”

“I just didn’t see this coming. I thought he told you just last week that he wasn’t interested in dating Dahyun,” Donghyuck asked, a tinge of disbelief in his tone.

“Well, his feelings must’ve changed. I’m telling you what he told me, okay? I just gave him her number and he went on his merry way. He didn’t really give me details. He just said, ‘I thought about what you said. I think I’ll go on a date with Dahyun.’”

“What about…” Renjun didn’t finish his sentence, but you felt like you were going to throw up when you saw him flicker his eyes towards you to indicate who he was talking about. Immediately their voices lowered, as if you weren’t sitting at the same table as them. You felt like you were going to cry, and you felt pathetic, but you just sat there and tried to pull it together.

“What about her?” Jeno asked.

“Come on, dude, it’s obvious. Even I see it, and I’m me,” Donghyuck offered up.

“I don’t think it’s what he wants. And her either. They’ve been close this long and nothing’s happened. He can’t wait on her forever, and the same goes for her. Maybe they’re just meant to be friends.”

You heart felt like it was ripped out of your chest by Na Jaemin, and you willed yourself not to cry like some heartbroken fool in front of all your friends. You were stuck, frozen, as you tried so hard to think about something else and not let one single tear fall. The sound of Hyunjin’s voice called your attention.

“Why did you never reach out?”

“Huh?” If he noticed your red eyes and slightly quivering lips, he didn’t say anything, and you silently thanked him as he regarded you with an emotionless look.

“You asked me if I wanted to get to know you. I agreed. And I told you to get my number from Mark. But I never got a text.”

You were blown away, absolutely astonished that he had the audacity to play oblivious. And you were already not in a good head space, so you couldn’t prevent your face and tone from hardening. “Are you seriously asking me that?”

“Does it look like I’m joking?”

“You told Mark you didn’t want him meddling in your life.” “I did.”

“So there’s your answer.”

“I didn’t tell him to not give you my number though.”

You blinked, not realizing your voice slowly began to raise, “I’m sorry, but you don’t get to play dumb in the situation. Whatever game you’re playing at, I’m not interested.”

You realized that the rest of the table had fallen silent, but you didn’t care. You opened your mouth to speak, but Hyunjin smoothly exclaimed, “Let’s talk outside.”

“Why should-”

“Because I think you need it,” He said it low enough for only you to hear. And you realized that he was indeed saving you from embarrassing yourself even further, maybe possibly even crying and making your friends upset. So before you knew it, you were stood outside with Hyunjin of all people.

You were facing the side of his body, your tears immediately falling without a foreseeable end as he kept his gaze trained ahead. He was quiet, letting you cry it out until you felt like you could calm down and stop crying. Your crying eventually turned into sniffling and then silence. It was only until there was complete silence that he spoke.

“Feel better?” He looked over at you, his face as emotionless as ever. He stood stock still, which would’ve been unsettling if it was anybody but him. It was so fitting for him. He was definitely an enigma in terms of his physical appearance.

“No.”

“Crying is usually a hit or miss when regarding your emotions.”

“Why did you help me back there?”

“I could see you were trying hard not to cry. I assumed it was because you didn’t want your friends to know. So I thought of what I could say that could get you to come ‘talk to me.’ Bingo, bringing up the big elephant between us was the answer.”

You don’t know how you managed, but you laughed at his words. He stared at you, a small quirk at the side of his lips before his deep voice filled the slowly darkening sky. The sunset glow naturally fit his facial features, but did not suit the persona he was putting up.

“You don’t have to force a laugh if you’re not happy.”

You nodded, turning your body to face the same direction as his body. You both looked out at the mostly vacant street. It was peaceful, and it was odd that out of all moments throughout the day, the moment you felt at most ease was standing with Hyunjin alone in some parking lot.

“This is odd. But not bad.”

Hyunjin quirked his head and had a grin on his lips, showing his amusement. “That’s definitely how I would describe myself.” You laughed again, glancing over at him and catching a small smile before it disappeared. Without looking at you, he said, “Whenever you’re ready, we’ll go back.”

“Okay.”

You don’t know what spurred you on; maybe it was standing with Hyunjin and being surprised that he isn’t who you expected him to be, or it was the conflicting emotions that filled you to the brim, but you impulsively pulled out your phone and typed a text that you knew Jaemin would only get when he would have service on Tuesday.

You:

Falling for you was my mistake. It’s best we forget what was said last night.

His response came sooner than you had expected- two days earlier to be exact. You came to the conclusion that he came back a day earlier, which meant that he saw your message earlier than you anticipated. On Sunday night, when you were laying in bed and heard your phone buzz, a part of you knew it was him. There was no one else who would reach out to you this late but him. You collected your thoughts as you stared into the darkness of your room, ignored your racing heart, and reached for your phone. Your assumption was right, the name Minnie Mouse lighting up your screen. Wordlessly, you clicked on the notification and read the message.

Minnie Mouse:

I’m sorry you feel that way. Thursday was… something else. But I agree It’s for the best that we forget Thursday night.

You shook your head, a painful laugh falling from your lips. You choked back your tears, wondering why you were so sad and getting angry because of it. You felt childish as you changed his name to Jaemin in your contacts, the first time in four years that it was touched. As you laid in the darkness, you couldn’t help but feel as if something had shifted between you and Jaemin. And it wasn’t good, it was the exact opposite of what you wanted. It felt like a piece of you had run off, and all you could do was sit there and put a brave face on for the spiraling situation. You were angry, because you were sure he was calm and over at his house, falling asleep without you in mind. And the saddest part was, even after what was said and done, and even though you were upset at the one person you didn’t want to ever feel this way towards, he was still running through your mind.

Falling for him was your mistake. A mistake you would secretly have to live with as he brushed it off like it was nothing.

>>> Next part <<<

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amberluvsbugs · 6 years ago

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Hello! I have a rule that I (try to) follow where if I like/ reblog more than just one or two of a person's posts I have to actually talk to them instead of just spamming their blog lol. I love your art and you OCs look really cool, you have so many! are they all part of the same story or are there multiple universes?

Oh! Haha! thats so funny lol! Thank you I really do appreciate it!

The AU takes place in 2643 where there are people that can change into a specific animal based on the ‘mark’ that they’re born with, these are called the Changers. There are also people called the sorcerers that can use magic based on the location of their ‘gem’. However, the changers and sorcerers that become mad with power are called the corrupters. In this world, there is a rare being that is both a changer and a sorceress which protects the balance. She is not visible in the waking world but a few people can see her in their dreams but forget once they wake. However, a few characters do remember a glimpse of her in their dreams and want to understand more about who she is so they set out to find her in hopes of the cure for the corrupted beings. I want to someday make an animation of this when I have the time but this is what I have so far lol.

#ask #ramble

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themattress · 6 years ago

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@ultraericthered: Wow, the anon actually messaged me again trying to counter with "Sora was a dumbass and Riku was emo in KH2, and it's script spammed Sora! Donald! Goofy!". Cause Sora SOMETIMES acting dumb and Riku being emo as a largely offscreen presence who isn't even his natural self is the same as regularly dumb and/or emo main characters, and the main characters' names getting spammed can be equated to spamming terminology for ridiculous sounding lines of dialogue, sure.

Oh, he or she is clearly getting desperate. They also messaged me, saying:

"Skip Scene" You can do that with Birth by Sleep and not unlock the secret ending. Also BBS didn't have the characters acting like a dumbass (Sora in 2) or emo (Riku/Roxas in 2) and didn't pad out their character slots with useless characters (Namine and HPO in 2), and didn't rehash Disney as badly as 2 did.

youtube

Yeah, you could use Skip Scene on various dumb BBS scenes and you could not unlock Blank Points. The problem is even if you don’t, those dumb scenes that you skip are still important to the story, and whether you unlock Blank Points or not, the series is still going to continue on from where it left off. You can’t really ignore it when it literally affects where the series’ narrative goes next.

BBS didnt have the characters acting dumbass / emo....dude, are you HIGH right now? Are you mentally defective? Or are you just straight-up lying? Literally every single one of the heroes in BBS (Terra, Aqua, Ven and Master Eraqus) went “emo” at some point or other (even Ven, the designated cheerful one, winds up suicidal at the game’s climax - “I want you to put an end to me”, remember?), and they are all some of the biggest dumbasses in the entire series. Master Xehanort’s entire evil plan hinged on them behaving in the stupidest ways possible and choosing to do the stupidest things possible, and it succeeded because they did so each and every time! Nothing Sora did in KH2 comes close to the level of stupidity that Terra, Aqua, Ven and Eraqus consistently displayed throughout BBS. I would seriously like you to name one thing Sora did that was as monumentally idiotic as:

- Terra blindly trusting and getting tricked by obvious villains over and over again, including Master Xehanort, to the point where he literally KNOWS that Xehanort wants him to be consumed by his own rage and hatred and then just...lets himself be consumed by his own rage and hatred, allowing Xehanort to take over his body.

- Aqua sacrificing herself to the Realm of Darkness in order to save someone she knows damn well is possesed by the most evil and dangerous man in the universe, and also knowing that if she's trapped in the Realm of Darkness then she is condeming her other friend to never be able to reunite with his body since she's literally the only one who can access the room where it's stored.

- Ven doing everything that Vanitas and Xehanort remotely hint that he should do, putting himself right where he wants them and also setting up Terra and Eraqus for their downfalls.

- Eraqus not only causing Terra, Aqua and Ven's own stupidity by bringing them up in a repressive, uber-strict and sheltered environment and forcing his fanatical dogma on them, but also trusting Xehanort again despite Xehanort having literally scarred him in the past after having raved about his motivations for wanting to destroy the universe, having accepted Ven into his custody despite knowing that he could be used to forge the X-Blade, inviting Xehanort to the Mark of Mastery exam and then not suspecting that Xehanort rigged said exam, not telling his pupils anything about his negative history with Xehanort and how he probably shouldn't be trusted, and then deciding to immediately resort to murdering Ven when he learns the truth about himself before deciding to immediately resort to murdering Terra when he very reasonably tries to defend Ven's life.

Also, Namine who was literally the only one who could possibly restore Sora to normal and awaken him for his KH2 journey, and who later is the one to spring Kairi from her prison cell and rescue everyone from the collapsing Alter of Naught...useless? Hayner, Pence and Olette who are the sole reason Sora, Donald, Goofy and Mickey were able to find a way into the World That Never Was...useless? I do not think that word means what you think it means.

And for the biggest laugh of all: BBS “didn't rehash Disney as badly as 2 did.“

Let’s do the math, shall we? KH2 had 11 Disney worlds, 12 if you count Timeless River separately from Disney Castle. Out of these worlds, only 4 of them rehashed the plots of their source material: Land of Dragons, Port Royal, Pride Land, and Atlantica. What’s more, Land of Dragons, Port Royal and Pride Land only did so on the first visits to them, but not the second visits. All the other Disney worlds and visits did the same thing the original KH did: used various elements from the source material, but repackaged them in new stories that are specifically suited to the KH universe and to Sora, Donald and Goofy’s current adventure.

BBS had only 7 Disney worlds,with the first 3 of them rehashing their source material’s plots: Dwarf Woodland, Castle of Dreams, and Enchanted Dominion. Unlike in KH2, this happens across every visit to these worlds, by all three characters. And unlike in KH and KH2, they aren’t specifically suited to the KH universe and what Terra, Aqua and Ven are supposed to be doing. Seriously, watch the KH2 Disney world visits and compare them to the BBS ones. Notice in KH2 how Sora, Donald and Goofy are constantly being included in the action, are constantly interacting with the local denizens of those worlds. And then notice how many times in BBS that Terra, Aqua and Ven are awkwardly and hilariously ignored by the characters and events of the world, the stories of the Disney movies just playing out while the Keyblade-wielders stand totally silent in the background. The Disney stuff is painfully shoehorned into the original stuff while the original stuff is painfully shoehorned into the Disney stuff. They just don’t blend as well together as they did in KH and, yes, in KH2.

Sorry, pal, but your opinion isn’t going to sway me, or the many, MANY others who hold similar views as me if both the sales numbers and critical review scores are to be believed (both of which have KH2 well above BBS). KH2 is a gaming masterpiece. A flawed masterpiece, to be sure, but a masterpiece nonetheless. BBS is just a good, solid game, one that at the end of the day, most people will remember and cherish far less than they do KH2.

#Disney #Square Enix #Kingdom Hearts #Kingdom Hearts II #Birth by Sleep #Comparison #Fandumb #Stupidity #Objection #Correction #Truthbomb #This has been a PSA

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firjii · 7 years ago

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Chapters: 13/13 Fandom: Dragon Age: Inquisition Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: F!Lavellan, Solas (Dragon Age), Keeper Deshanna Istimaethoriel Lavellan, Cole (Dragon Age), Varric Tethras Additional Tags: invented codex entries, background development, Inquisitor Backstory, Mild Language, brief references to canon-typical violence, Depression, Suggestions of PTSD, Epistolary, POV Varric Tethras

Summary: A non-linear epistolary story about my Inquisitor Bae Lavellan, told via invented codices.

I’ve been posting certain portions separately as they’ve gotten finished, but here’s the full text since I officially completed it and, well, why not inflict a bit of link spam when I have a legit opportunity? :D

Plain text under the cut.

[This is angsty throughout, but the darkest themes are mostly vague and open to interpretation, therefore I decided that “General” was a better rating fit than “Chose Not To Use Warnings”]

Chapter 1

Codex: Entry from a Skyhold Cook’s Journal

I asked Cole why he keeps stealing things from the kitchen. At first, he only said that it wasn’t stealing if it still went into someone’s stomach. It took me ten minutes to explain to him what theft was.

I shouldn’t really complain. He doesn’t take much, and it’s not even hearty food. He takes two-day-old bread, not the fresh sorts – or else he’ll take half-burned things. He takes honey, but only if I’ve spilled spices into it. I’ve offered him the better fare we can make, but he ignores me. He only wants the scraps.

I asked him if he wants it for himself. He asked me why he’d ever want food.

It took me a good hour of arguing to finally get it out of him. I asked who it was for. He said the Inquisitor. I asked him why he was taking scraps and spoiled honey to her. He said they were a feast in her eyes.

I’ll never forget his words: “When she’s seen death, she shivers like the wind that blows the ashes away after the fires. She remembers who they were. She sees embers. She sees the lives they might have been, and they make her forget the things she should remember instead. The only way she can stop shaking and eat is to bite into something old and stale and solid, something to remind her that the world is still solid.”

She’s got a weak stomach, then. That’s no surprise. I don’t think she enjoys killing.

I asked him what the honey was for. He said her throat’s usually raw for one reason or another.

I should tell our spymaster.

Chapter 2

Codex: A Letter in a Shaky Hand

I should’ve guessed that someone like you would know. You probably worked it out somehow as soon as they found me. Who knows what you spied on while I was asleep?

But never mind about that now. I don’t care. You’ve kept your silence well enough, whatever you know about me.

I don’t have to explain a damn thing to you, but I won’t deny it, either. Yes, it’s part of me. There shouldn’t be shame in it, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t. It wasn’t my fault, but it is my burden. There aren’t enough people in the world who understand the difference. You do, I think, so I owe you a debt: honesty.

I can’t escape it, but I’m almost not sure that I want to. It probably sounds horrible to say that, but it’s the truth. That’s as much of it as I can spare for you for now. It visits me every day. Every time I see it before me again, it reminds me of what I can’t let myself become. It reminds me of all the things I’m fighting. It reminds me that I’m not wrong. It reminds me that I’m not a traitor to my people for saying what I say. They speak the truth, but not always all of it. I don’t want to be like them. I don’t want to use our downfall as an excuse to ignore the crimes we commit against each other to this very day.

You asked me what I’ll do when this is over. You’ve asked me that from the day we first met. I damn well better answer you sooner or later. I don’t know. I can’t go back. I still can’t believe that I stayed as long as I did. I was unclaimed, but if you ask some among them, it’s more like I was unclaimable.

What you saw that day was a stumble, nothing more. They happen from time to time. I’m usually more careful, but it was such a scene, and there were too many people. I forgot myself. I forgot where and who I was. It was bound to happen. It’s been a long time since it came that badly. I’m glad I know that it can still be that intense. As you might say, it was instructive. I’m almost glad that it happened. My stomach will be well enough in a day or two. Don’t worry yourself about the marks. They’re old. That’s all we need to say about it.

I’ll be alright. They don’t need to hear about it. It won’t affect me. I’ll make sure it doesn’t interfere from now on. It’s like you said: it’s in the past. I thank you for being so graceful about it. I don’t know what you did, but those few moments were –

[illegible words vigorously crossed out]

I didn’t expect that from someone who loves facts as deeply as you do. I shouldn’t be surprised. You’ve seen so much, but I didn’t believe you until you acted as you did that day. I’m not sure that I could have trusted the others to see me like that, and you were right: the best thing for me in those moments is quiet.

You offered to help interpret my dreams. I don’t know to what end. I know already what they mean. I only have a few of them. But if you –

[illegible]

You understand. That’s all I need to say for now.

– correspondence from Inquisitor Lavellan to Solas, carefully folded and hidden in an ancient tome in Skyhold’s rotunda

Chapter 3

Codex: A Letter to Sister Nightingale Regarding Inquisitor Lavellan’s Unusual Constitution

It is most strange: she flinches so easily at small noises as if they were part of war’s deafening din. She sometimes flies into a blind panic at the sight of fire. Throngs of people can agitate her, even if they consist entirely of her closest friends in the Inquisition.

But she rarely reacts to pain in the ways that most people would.

I’m certain that she feels it. I have seen her bleeding like a stuck pig. I have seen her face turn ashen from a dislocated shoulder. I have seen her tremble so much that she fainted (in fact, this is something that all in the Inquisition must be advised to watch for, regardless of the implications that such a fact might provoke). She weeps fiercely from ache and wound alike, but silently, and often only in seclusion. All told, I suspect that she has seen far more of injuries than any one person deserves in this life.

Despite her relative youth (especially for an elf), she almost displays signs of a long-healed stroke – almost. I cannot confirm or deny it, but some of her lackings suggest a peculiar hemorrhage of that sort, albeit clearly something that she recovered from very well as she has no great encumbering loss to show for it. Nevertheless, they are distinct details which are rarely connected to other ailments or injuries. Yet she cannot remember (or cannot admit) any such incident.

As to her – well, I cannot share such details, chiefly because she herself refuses to elaborate on most of them. Suffice it to say that both the conclusion and the actions leading to it still pain her, though for different reasons. As a surgeon, I will attest that there is no immediate urgency or danger. I merely wonder how someone like her – her manner leads me to believe that she has surely always been sensitive in more than one way, perhaps even delicate – endured through it and managed not to succumb to despair. To have a grievous loss be the result of an already grievous offense would make lesser souls willingly hurtle themselves into the Void.

On that note, the scars you spoke of are quite suspicious. It’s true, they may be ordinary wounds, but that kind of coincidence would be unlikely. There is something strangely persistent and repetitive about some of them. They pose no bodily hindrance that I can see, but she acts strangely if questioned about them. I suggest leaving the topic dormant, but it would be wise to note if any new injuries of a similar sort appear at any time.

I have yet to see her howl in pain. Perhaps this is something that the Dalish teach their children – although it would not be altogether logical in her case since she has freely admitted that her umarked face is precisely because of her clan’s awareness of her intolerance to pain.

Perhaps she simply taught herself how to muffle her cries. Perhaps need forced her to learn the habit. In any case, do not assume that her silence is indifference to agony. If anything, she feels it far more acutely than the rest of us.

I sometimes wish that I could do something other than dull her senses for a few hours. I am now firmly convinced that such herbs and potions do nothing whatsoever for her mind.

– an unnamed Inquisition field surgeon

Chapter 4

Codex: On Literacy - A Report Regarding Inquisitor Bae Lavellan, As Related by Keeper Deshanna Istimaethoriel Lavellan

She could count the beats of a butterfly’s wings if it suited her. She could memorize the patter of a lame man’s limp and imitate it with her own stride. She could breathe so silently that the most skittish of wild beasts scarcely noticed her presence.

But she could not learn Elven.

It puzzled me from the first early days when she could speak. Certainly she knew the words we use most often in clan life, and she always hid her confusion well. Yet she simply couldn’t understand it. She is a fine scholar, though doubtless she has made some in your Inquisition believe otherwise since she has a habit of dwelling on her weaknesses. She has a strong ear for animal calls and music, and she could always remember our campfire stories better than those whose position was defined by storytelling.

But she could never grasp our own language in the way that others in the clan could. No amount of my efforts seemed to help for her written or spoken attempts. It may seem strange to you that someone who did not grow up hearing Common the majority of the time somehow became more fluent in it than her people’s native tongue, but this is a true and fair accounting of your Inquisitor, as requested.

In time, I chose to allow her to focus on other studies. Elves may live longer than the other races, but that does not mean that we treat time as less precious than it truly is. Magic is far more important to control than mere speech, after all. Others in the clan sometimes resented her for forcing them to speak the humans’ language – but in truth, she expected very little of them. She spoke to some people as rarely as possible. In fact, she was never very talkative at all. For a time, her parents even wondered if she was deaf or mute.

Thus she grew to think of her surroundings and the people within it, ever wary of offending. If given a chance to explain herself, she will admit that she often gathered her own herbs and fruits and attempted hunting in her own way so that she could avoid being harassed by certain hard people in the clan who insisted on tormenting her despite my reprimands. However you choose to use her talents, you must not bother her with questions about something which she is ignorant of through no one’s fault, including hers.

You need not worry about her knowledge of written Common. She can read it well enough, although elaborate handwriting may prove a struggle sometimes. I suggest using your considerable resources to obtain literate messengers who can read formal letters aloud, or else simply allow your Ambassador Montilyet to summarize them for her.

-Keeper Deshanna Istimaethoriel Lavellan

Chapter 5

Codex: A Letter to Leliana

Everyone keeps asking if I’m cold. I’m not, but I can’t stop shaking. It must confuse them. I don’t care about the climate. I enjoyed snow until now.

It’s everywhere. You can’t hike about for more than half a mile before you find more of it. It’s so warm near it. The glow is more than a glow. It seems like a heartbeat sometimes. I’m not a dwarf and I’ll never have stone sense, but this is too obvious to deny and too invasive to ignore. There are ripples in the air near it, and there are tendrils that move about like lightning, only much slower. It seems like they’re speaking, but I can’t hear anything.

The others don’t react, but I’m sure it’s not in my mind. Cole overheard my thoughts when we first arrived here and he seems as nervous as I am, but he doesn’t say much about it. Cassandra tries hard to help me, but her soldiering skills only reach so far when the fighting’s done, and she knows that. She’s careful to watch me eat. Everyone tells me I haven’t eaten as much as I should when I’m upset. That might be true, but how can I think about food when all I can see are those –

Dorian only remarked on the dangers of lyrium. He’s hardly spoken of it beyond that. But I know what I’m feeling. It’s not the sort of thing you can wish away.

We claimed Suledin Keep easily enough – not that it was easy, but we’ve faced steeper odds. Imshael was difficult, but that’s not what worries me. He did exactly what his nature demanded. He’s not the one who started it.

We shouldn’t keep a presence there. Something’s still not right in that place. Corypheus is powerful, but I’m not afraid of him. I’m afraid of Emprise.

It can’t be mended. Everything’s wrong here. I wonder if this was what the last Blight felt like. Emprise was beautiful once, that much is clear. Maybe it still is. My thoughts wander so far sometimes. I haven’t dreamt as I should for years now, and this place seems to be shifting that balance. But everything here is sick now. It’s as sickly as the villagers who – [illegible]

I’m sorry for the scrawling. I lost control of my hand just now. My stomach will always remember what I saw here. You’ll read the agents’ reports soon enough. A few of the captives who weren’t altered have agreed to come back with us to Skyhold to confirm what happened – not that we need much proof. Red lyrium doesn’t appear like this on its own.

Please don’t make me explain it in person. I can’t do it. This time is different. I cherish your friendship, but there’s no advice you can give me. There’s only ice and ruin here.

– Inquisitor Lavellan

Chapter 6

Codex: Transcript of a Young Cook’s Helper in a Tavern

I was tired and I couldn’t think straight, but business is business and there wasn’t anyone else there to do it. It was already a warm day, but the stoves were burning hotter than usual. I could barely breathe in that place anyway. There’s not enough air in the best of times, even with the shutters open. But no one complains if it means somewhere warm in winter.

I was nervous, too. It doesn’t take much for Cook to clip me somewhere. I’m a bungler, and I know it. But Maker! All those scouts. All those Chantry folk, except they didn’t act like Chantry folk. They were too cheerful. I didn’t understand why. Soldiers don’t have a reason to be cheerful.

I didn’t even see the Inquisitor at first. She wasn’t in uniform. Maker, the scouts were in fancier dress than her! Not that she wasn’t well-dressed, but she didn’t look like – well, what does an Inquisitor look like? She didn’t have the Inquisition emblem on any of her gear – not even a brooch. I s’pose that only makes sense. Why put a target on your leader’s chest, eh?

She didn’t say a word. She barely looked at anyone. She traced dings and gashes in a table while she waited for her food. If she hadn’t been nodding when her fellows talked to her, I’d have thought her deaf or dumb, or both. She didn’t act like a leader. She didn’t even act like an equal. Swear to Andraste, she squirmed every time someone bumped her. She blushed when I caught someone calling her Inquisitor. But she wasn’t angry, either. She was patient, or at least better at keeping her annoyances to herself. I thought she was just dour. But what dour leader has happy agents, eh?

Anyway, I didn’t have much time to think on it. I was rushing around to feed all these extra folk. I don’t know where we found the food to do it, but we did it. But it was such a scurry! I barely had time to set food on tables before I had to go back again and again. I don’t know how many times I did it. It must’ve been dozens.

I had a dizzy spell. I didn’t see it coming, it came that fast. I don’t think anyone would’ve noticed, except I spilled one of the plates I was carrying on my arm. It was something with butter sauce. Butter burns are the worst kind. I screamed and fell. By the time I was on the floor, I’d spilled even more of the sauce. I screamed again.

And Maker’s breath, do you know who came over and stopped my head from banging on the floor? Not the cook, not the Chantry sisters, not the mages. The Inquisitor.

No one asked her to. No one told her to. She didn’t even hesitate. She just scrambled over like a horse. She didn’t make me stand up, either. She let me stay there until the dizziness passed. Cook heard all the noise and came out to yell at me, but the Inquisitor waved her away. No, she didn’t just wave her away, she screamed at her. Proper screaming. She picked me up and put me on a bench like I was no more trouble to carry than a baby. She knew what to do about the burn, too. She even gave me a potion before she left – she said it’d help the burn heal sooner. It did.

Now listen here. My mother was an elf, Maker rest her soul. She barely lived long enough to get me out of nursing age. There are other elf-bloodeds in this village – they just won’t admit it. They took me in as one of their own, and I know I’m lucky. But I’ve never met a kind elf. The alienages sound horrible and the Dalish sound fierce. But the only fierceness the Inquisitor had was against meanness in other people. She wouldn’t have known I was her kin. I look human – I’m just a bit short.

If she’s really the one running the Inquisition, I just wonder – what could the world be like if other folk acted like her?

Chapter 7

Codex: Correspondence Between Seeker Cassandra Pentaghast and Varric Tethras

Varric,

I need a favor and I’m unsure who else to ask. For whatever reason, our Inquisitor trusts you, so maybe you will succeed where others have failed. I’ve merely been asking her about her life. Understanding where someone came from is important, no? But she gets quite upset (or simply ignores me) whenever I ask after a certain name. That name. She claims that she never chose one, but I have my doubts. Leliana has been very standoffish about it, too.

-Cassandra

Cassandra,

‘Succeed where others have failed’? Do you realize what that sounds like? Can you imagine what Mouse would say if she knew you’d said that? Actually, that’s not a bad idea. I should take note of that and remember it the next time you ask me to go ass-deep into danger when you could choose from half a dozen others instead.

Leliana’s right. As hard as it is to believe, there are some things a spymaster won’t do, even for her own side. For the last time, stop being so pushy. You’re not an interrogator anymore and Mouse isn’t your prisoner. It’s none of your business anyway. If she wants to talk about it, she will, but you can’t force her to do anything before she’s good and ready for it. I know better by now, and so should you.

And what does it matter? She has enough to worry about without you nagging her about something she doesn’t want to think about. Maker knows I wouldn’t, and I’m not even a woman. Don’t run out on brittle ice on a lake and be surprised when it breaks under your feet.

Back in Kirkwall, Aveline tried to ask Fenris a similar question. He didn’t want to answer it either. With all that’s wrong in the world, what the hell difference does a name make?

-Varric

Varric,

It matters because no one can endure that kind of anguish alone forever. It matters because it will help her talk about it. It matters because when I’ve heard her cry out in the night, she doesn’t scream for the person who should have brought her happiness. She keens against her tormentors instead.

-Cassandra

Cassandra,

I’d laugh, except there’s nothing funny about it. ‘Tormentors’? Is that really what you’d call them? I won’t even waste time on all the reasons why that was a shitty way to put it. Just stare at the word for awhile and come to your own conclusions.

Has it occurred to you that she might not remember everything? The surgeon told you in no uncertain terms: he thinks she had a stroke. I agree. I’ve met people who had them. Mouse is lucky that it hasn’t affected her more than it did. You can’t hear it in her speech and her movements look damn well close to normal if she’s carrying weapons. She does have her moments, but Maker knows she tries. And usually, she succeeds. End of story. She didn’t let it get in her way any more than we let our troubles get in our way.

But we don’t know what really happened. No one does. From what I understand about it, that’s one hell of a complication. Between wanting to block out what led to it and barely staying in one piece after that, she’s allowed a little peace from conversation about it. She has enough to worry about. And something tells me that she’s always been worried about a lot. You saw the letter from her Keeper. I’ll never understand how the world chooses who it wants to trample. But she doesn’t let that bother her, either – not that I’ve seen or that she’ll admit to, anyway.

So in no uncertain terms, my dear Seeker: BACK OFF. Mouse isn’t alone. I know what you meant, but it’s not true, and she knows that. I’ve told her that and I think she believed me. She knows where to find you if she changes her mind. She knows we’re here if she needs us. ‘Friend’ and ‘force’ start with the same letter, but they can never mean the same thing.

-Varric

Chapter 8

Codex: Personal Notes in a Frustrated Hand

I don’t understand it. It’s as if she doesn’t take pride in being a mage. It’s as if she doesn’t realize what a threat it can be to her own existence. Magic is as natural to her as breath is to me, but she neither boasts about it nor hides it. If anyone asks her a serious question about a spell or a ward, she answers equally seriously in turn, as if she doesn’t realize that she’s been an exotic oddity all the while.

I’ve tried asking her about Dalish life. She hasn’t once corrected me when I make an assertion, but she also refuses to elaborate. Perhaps that’s only the Dalish way, though. Our scholars don’t know everything, after all.

Even so, she hasn’t called a human a shem even once. She shares meals with them, confides in them, even has lengthy discussions with Mother Giselle when the garden is quiet. She banters with dwarves. She acts like that Qunari wall of a man is no different than one of her fellows. She treats city elves as well as some people treat their own blood relatives. And contrary to popular belief, she is not frightened of or daunted by beards – merely a little intrigued by Warden Blackwall’s.

I’ve even seen her lingering before altars. I haven’t dared to approach her in those moments, of course, but it is quite a spectacle: a Dalish elf with no vallaslin and – so it would seem – Andrastian beliefs. Where’s her resentment about being a descendant of an oppressed people? Where’s her outrage about the Chantry’s treatment of mages in the civilized parts of the world? Even I will admit to their severity, Maker rest my soul.

Where’s her vigor? Perhaps it all resides in her magic.

She’s not an elf – not really. It’s ridiculous. She goes around with her bare face as if there’s nothing she was denied. What kind of self-respecting Dalish doesn’t choose marks? What kind of traitor like that would’ve been sent to the Conclave? It’s almost as if the Dalish knew what would happen and wanted to be rid of one of the weaker strands in their weave.

– a page from the journal of an undisclosed University of Orlais student specializing in cultural studies

Chapter 9

Codex: From an Unpublished Anonymous Manuscript Written Twenty Years After the Exalted Council

The Inquisitor was said to have had more than one family.

True enough, she was raised among her own people, but her parents were exiled for some unknown reason while she was still a small child. Part of their punishment was that they leave their daughter behind, evidently for the good of the clan as her magic had already manifested and the Lavellans were in need of strong mage potential.

Curiously by Dalish standards, she and some others in her clan were apparently discouraged from fraternizing too closely with each other. One theory simply poses the notion that her shy tendencies might have been seen by her elders as tenderness exceeding common standards, or perhaps that she was not intelligent enough to understand such inevitable events. Another – the one supported by Mistress Lavellan herself – is that despite the Dalish tendency to shuffle people between clans to prevent inbreeding, perhaps she actually had other siblings or half-siblings. Still other rumors – of a more unsettling nature – can be inferred on close examination of some correspondences.

The dynamics of her clan – or, rather, their dynamics towards her – at the time of her life were universally acknowledged as unusual, if not difficult. This was in no small part because of her neutrality with regards to other races and cultures, even by Clan Lavellan standards. While no document has ever been found to suggest that they ever disproved of her openness and diplomacy during the Inquisition, it has been strongly suggested that this somehow factored into her decision to not return to her people had they survived.

Though a retreating sort, she was said to have made fast friends with many people in the Inquisition. It would therefore not be an unreasonable stretch of the truth to go as far as saying that the Inquisition was perhaps her true family. One would be hard pressed to find an unflattering or angry description of her by one of her companions. It is even said that she eventually took to calling Varric Tethras ‘Uncle,’ likely the truth given that figure’s general conviviality towards the world at large.

It is said that when she disbanded the Inquisition, she was not dispirited about the organization’s troubles (those had become patently obvious to her by that time and the result was inevitable, however uncomfortable) as much as the prospect of watching her second, adopted family disintegrate or disperse. Indeed, while every companion and advisor thrived outside of the Inquisition and the Inquisitor was in frequent communication with all of them, she was said to have acted as if in mourning for various reasons following the disbanding.

Chapter 10

Codex: A Few Requests Put Forth to the Inquisition’s Advisors

As much as our dear leader enjoys all of your company, there are some things that just need to be said – and the Inquisitor isn’t very good at directness, in case you hadn’t noticed.

Leliana, for Maker’s sake, ease up on offering to threaten people. I’m not questioning your skills or your methods. There are times when there’s really no other way, and it’ll always be part of a spymaster’s job. Fine. Do what you need to do to keep us safe and informed. But please don’t talk about it to Mouse. If you have to do something, do it quietly. Don’t tell her. She won’t want to know. I’ve seen her stay awake all night just because she was re-thinking something that you casually mentioned to her a few weeks earlier. She’s realistic. She knows that death and war are inseparable. But she also tends to take sport in blaming herself. It helps no one and hinders everyone.

Josephine, please stop bombarding Mouse with cultural lessons as soon avs she comes back from a mission. She’s curious and a quicker study than she looks. I think she even enjoys it since it’s a change of pace from fighting. But she also overspends herself. A lot. She’s just too timid to admit it. Teaching her about the world is well and good, but at least consider breaking the lessons up into more manageable afternoons. Don’t try to intensively teach her Orlesian and make her memorize royal lineages in the same day.

Cullen, stop moping about how we didn’t get the Templars. Fiona’s a powerful ally and there hasn’t been a single truly dangerous incident with the mages since we took them in. You haven’t seen what I’ve seen. Each and every one of them are every bit as much a refugee as Fereldan humans are right now. Half of them just want to be left alone. It’s not always about power. Mouse is stronger with magic than she’ll admit, but she keeps it quiet for a reason. She doesn’t like to feel powerful. I think you can say the same about a lot of our magically-inclined allies.

And as for all of you – look, whatever you do, don’t rush her…about anything. I don’t much understand it myself, but I don’t need to. It’s how things are. If one of my second cousins used to cut a hole in a frozen lake in winter and make his ass purple from the cold just to make him forget his arthritis for awhile, it’s not that strange if our Inquisitor likes to take things slowly. As long as it doesn’t hobble her in a fight, it shouldn’t matter.

– Varric

Chapter 11

Codex: A Letter from Leliana

Inquisitor,

I am pleased to inform you that seven farmers in Crestwood have agreed to your proposal. They hope to settle in the hallas by the end of the month. They were initially hesitant when we explained that they are independent creatures who tend to resent being penned in, but we assured them that this also means that they sometimes only need minimal herding attention and will manage themselves given the right conditions.

I was also delighted to hear that the blind halla taken along as a testimony for all to consider has chosen to bond with a young boy. The child is deaf, but his stillness apparently caught the halla’s attention, just as the halla’s graceful movements caught the boy’s liking.

I’m afraid that we could not find even more willing participants at this stage, but some families fled weeks ago, and others are still occupied with rebuilding their homes and making arrangements for the missing people recovered from the lake. I suspect that more will come forward in time.

Chapter 12

Codex: A Worn Page Filled With Random Phrases

Trees. Cottonwoods?

Cherries. Don’t know who got them or where they came from.

Laughter. They all had different laughs. Why do I remember them?

Warmth. It was a hot day. But my face was also flushed? Can’t remember.

Screams. Mine? Not a lot. I needed my breath for other things.

White. Gray pulsing stars every time I tried to focus my eyes. They throbbed so hard. I couldn’t see anything after awhile.

The laughter stopped. There was a fly. It was so loud. It felt like it was there for hours. It wouldn’t leave me alone. But I couldn’t move to wave it away. I was tired.

I wept. I was so thirsty. There was a river, but I couldn’t walk to get to it. I told myself to move, but I couldn't. I don't know why.

I crawled part of the way back to the camp. I made myself stand up and walk the rest of the way when sunset came. Got back to my tent at midnight or so. I was sunburned. I hadn’t noticed the sun.

Someone scolded me about a fray in my shirt but gave me clean breeches without question.

Varric you prick, this was a stupid idea.

– from a small journal well-hidden in the Inquisitor’s quarters

Chapter 13

Codex: A Letter in an Unusually Formal Hand

We can’t know what will happen tonight, tomorrow, or next week. We don’t know what Corypheus will try to do to end the Inquisition – or the world.

I understand that a will isn’t worth much without any possessions to distribute, but I’m told that some people use them as an opportunity to give last messages to family and loved ones. Many of you know what I think of you, but in case you don’t, I’ll take this one chance I have left to say the unsaid.

Leliana – you frighten me. You really do. But we’ve trusted our lives to you so many times and you haven’t led us astray yet. I don’t see how that will ever change. Some think that your fierceness is unseemly. I think it’s marvelous. You’re the only person who might really have the will to change the Chantry. I wish you the best of luck.

Josephine – thank you for tolerating my whims about food. I know I have expensive and strange tastes (even by the wealthy’s standards), but you can’t imagine how much it’s helped for me to eat something agreeable when I’m too upset to stomach other fare. It’s a greater kindness than you’ll ever realize.

Cullen – I won’t waste time reassuring you about the future. It would sound hollow. You already know what you need to do. Remember what I said. Don’t give up on something just because it’s difficult. You’ve made it this far. I don’t doubt that you’ll make even more strides.

Cassandra – Thank you for not hiding your battle scars. I know that won’t sound like much, but seeing them every day made me realize that admitting to my own isn’t as dreadful as I’d been told before now. I’m not sure what else I should tell someone who has been as determined as you are. You say that your faith is your strength as much as your weakness, but I don’t think it’s either. If it guides you to question as much as it pushes you to action, it’s worth protecting.

Dorian – you made me realize something that I hadn’t allowed myself to think about before now. I hadn’t thought it possible, especially given…well, you know what. We hardly have the same story, but we were both forced to be what we weren’t. You’ve shown me that my nature and my desires don’t have to contradict each other. You were the first to notice when I spent more time than was needed with Solas. Your reaction was nothing short of graceful. For that, you will always have my thanks.

Bull – I can’t believe you tricked me into killing a high dragon. Ten times, in fact. I’m sorry we couldn’t have gotten the Sandy Howler, but you saw how it was. At least Hakkon is gone. Thank you for your courage in the face of great and small struggles. Some people might have called you insane. Damned right you are, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Cole – I needn’t dedicate any space on the page since you already know my thoughts, but allow me a moment to indulge myself anyway. The others don’t understand you, but you should never let that discourage you. What you do and who you are is important. You’re doing exactly as you should. I never doubted your motives. We’re kindreds, you and I, and that’s sterner stuff than any words we might speak.

Sera – life always needs more arrows. I can’t pretend we’ve always gotten along, but your energy always reminded me to keep trying, striving, daring. Those are all things I’d forgotten how to do before the Conclave. Always question – but also always remember that there’s usually more than one way to solve a problem.

Vivienne – I’m sorry that I couldn’t do more to help your dear Bastien. You showed so much concern for me and I couldn’t even find the wyvern heart in time to save him. Friendships don’t always get the rewards they are owing, and I’m sorry that ours is one of those.

Blackwall – I hope you’ll forgive yourself someday soon. What you did doesn’t matter half as much as what you’re doing. By your deeds as much as my decree, you’re not that man anymore. Learn from your mistakes. Remember them if you must. But never use them as an excuse to hide. Only the truly wicked should hide. Only those who embrace their wrongs deserve to look over their shoulders more often than they watch their feet on the path ahead of them.

Varric – you’re one of the only people in the Inquisition who didn’t make me grind my teeth every ten minutes. You knew when to persist and when to leave me be. You noticed things far sooner than most of the others. I don’t need to tell you what to do. Don’t let them weep for me. Whether good or bad, don’t let them say I was something I wasn’t. Just tell Maryden to play my favorite song. She’ll know which one.

Solas – banal nadas. Ar lath ma.

-from an envelope covered with illustrations of various heraldry evidently drawn by the Inquisitor herself

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