#that's why I don't like most people irl I never get when they are joking

[yvesbuprofen]

I have the object permanence with people, so if I don't see people I kinda forget about them, but there's this friend I used to spend everyday on uni, and I have many gifts from her, so I'm reminded of her from them like , the undershirt I always use is a gift from them, my favorite totebag was made by her, she crochet me a little jellyfish as a key ring, her most listened song always comes up randomly when I'm listening 80s music, so she's always on my mind and I miss her a lot, she was always conscious of what bothered me, and I felt very safe around her, I didn't even have to talk too much around her, if I didn't feel like it, because she always has something to talk about,,, idk I just miss my friend, she came back to a place she feels the most comfortable, so I'm happy for her, but I would like to see her again, and listen to her talk about her ex boyfriends lol

[royalarchivist]

undefined

I love how it’s so much harder for Bad to pretend he doesn’t find Quackity’s dirty jokes funny when they’re together in person

[vermillioncrown]

On BIL: Is Kagami just gonna go on continuing to normie the shit out of these Ball Sport Mad Idiots? Because I think he would. He would totally normie them all the way to his victory. He would normie so hard that this weirdo troupe Generation of Chuunibyous would completely go batshit crazy trying to "figure out" what his "special ability" is. Which by the way is actually just Kagami's (absolutely incomprehensible) ability of his to actually be Human OMG 🤯

to not normie is to go counter to the central premise of bil, thus he must. it's pretty logical and i'm not fond of pulling the rug from under people in a story

him pushing back against having a "special ability" like how they emphasize in canon is half kagami being kagami against all ball sport nonsense, and half his personality trait to never own up to anything ever -> and that comprises of another two parts (1. never let them know your next move 2. it's unhealthy to base your self-worth on One Thing You're Good At...for now)

[olderthannetfic]

I always see people who have never been antis, talking about/questioning how some antis even ARE antis when you look at their taste in media - ie the ever famous joke of "Hannigram is #problematique" "but it's a show where he eats people" or whatever.

I thought I'd weigh in as someone who could, hypothetically, be called an ex-anti (which, thankfully, nothing ever really came out of it - it was just very 2014 keyboardwarrior-esque behavior of me being a chronically online young adult who would share posts in a group chat making fun of certain shippers, or reblog posts about how 50shades is The Most Problematic Media Ever to exist -- basically I was an anti with anti-lines of thoughts, but i never, like, a ran a Shipping Discourse Blog or whatever)

For me, personally, it was a few different things. I can now see how it's incredibly hypocritical that teenaged me shipped Light/L, while still thinking that Dramione was Bad And Abusive. It ultimately boiled down to a) being pretentious, and b) just not understanding media or what proshippers REALLY believed, with a side of c) not realizing that nuance exists. like i was pretty late to join tumblr, I think I immigrated here during PEAK "yourfaveisproblematic" era which definitely did have an impact on my opinions and my tastes.

to elaborate, a.) being pretentious. i mean this one just kinda goes without saying. "I engage in media in a way more intellectual way than you do, don't you know that? You're a filthy and disgusting person who writes Snape/Hermione because you're an actually disgusting pedophile IRL who would probably date your own student that you're abusing if you could. Meanwhile, I'm a very smart, good, and pure person. When I read Uncle Vernon/Harry, I'm doing it in a G-d honoring whump way that clearly condemns abuse, incest, and rape. Unlike YOU who only writes harmful stuff as a way to get people off :/"

(as an aside, i think this line of thinking will ALWAYS be present in fandom and popculture in some way, sadly. ie the recent trend of people hating on booktok bc the books are 'trashy' and how these porn addicts should read real classic literature instead.)

as for b.), not understanding media - i cannot emphasize enough that i was GENUINELY stupid and disconnected enough to think that proshippers REALLY WERE pro-All Of The Degenerate Dead Doves That They Wrote.

why did i feel this way? why did i understand that Lolita clearly isnt pro-pedophilia, but for some reason i thought that someone shipping weecest was? well, first of all, i think that fanfiction is (generally) seen as Less Serious than classic literature, and fandom is a fun place, so i guess i somehow thought that every fanfic/fanartist who wrote Problematic Things, especially Problematic Things that they portrayed as Sexy, really DID enjoy the thought of that Actually Happening To Real People.

and i think THIS is the bulk of why antis ARE antis. i'm not calling them all stupid - i do think BEING an anti is stupid, but at the same time, there are people who are truly smart and good-intended people who just have some really off color opinions about, like, homestuck ships or whatever. Lawlight is okay because notebooks that kill people don't exist so it's IMPOSSIBLE for the Harmful Aspects of Light/L to be romanticized! but schoolyard prejudiced bullies DO exist and are a REAL problem so Drarry is BAD (*truly completely unaware of the fact that there's 'realistic' aspects of the Light/L dynamic and 'unrealistic' aspects of Drarry - such as, for example, Hogwarts arguably being even MORE of a fantasy setting than DN is.*) I know that media literacy is the hot buzzword of the year to throw around in 2024, but, like, i really did not have media literacy.

as for c.), not realizing nuance exists - ok "nuance" might not be the best word here, but i dont know how else to describe it. like, each time ive typed the word "problematic" out in this ask, i've done so in a very tongue in cheek/ironic/retroactive way, but, like, those posts about how Everything Is Problematic, Including Your Fave ARE true. and i didn't like the fact that my favorite media or favorite person might've Made A Mistake! i need to Talk About Its Issues Because I'm So Betrayed That My Dear Sweet Comfort Media Would Do This To Me. I Need To Prove I Clearly Condemn It.

like, i legit morally could not justify reblogging a twilight post without adding in the tags '#this is my guilty pleasure it sucks that the books were so racist though' or whatever. Most people were lucky enough to avoid that line of thinking, but there was an actual group of people who felt a genuine need to virtue signal all the time, partly bc, hey, they WERE passionate about talking abt #issues in media, but also bc of a subconscious fear of If You Reblog A Singular Piece Of Hetalia Fanart, You're Literally A Nazi And Will Get A Callout Post Written About You.

and during all of this i was at the tail end of my high school experience (yes i know im younger than most of your audience, ha). i was going through A Lot emotionally, going through a lot of life changes, and lived in a very . . . interesting household/place where i couldn't do ACTUAL good in the world that i was passionate about. so to make up for the fact that i was genuinely in no place to do legit activism, clearly i had to save the gay community by arguing about johnlock queerbaiting or whatever.

^ and honestly i do think that is the position of most antis. theyre isolated and cant seem to do Enough in the Real Scary World so they have to resort to talking about how bad of a person someone is for "shipping abuse", bc theyre not in a situation where they could, for example, ACTUALLY fight the good fight to end abuse or raise awareness for it.

There was way more to it and way more that I could say, if I wanted to, but this post is long enough as it is and probably doesn't make much sense.

I feel bad for antis, honestly, or at least the ones who are antis in the way I used to be.

--

Oh yes, passionate young fools who think they can at least fix the internet if not their lives make up most of the cannon fodder. Some of the ringleaders are just mini dictators and wannabe cult leaders, but most anti-leaning types are just traumatized or clueless, even a lot of the ones who do serious damage and don't just mock shit in private with their friends.

[myunghology]

so. SLAMS HAND ON TABLE. read this for summary. i KNOW it's a little late but hey at least i did it thanks to @alizaneth for this idea!! mostly crack, im sorry (no im not) TW // i mentioned kinks and mommy issues once

CYNO

- first time you did it, bro tried waking you up. OBVIOUSLY it failed

- when it failed, he just left you there. i mean.. you weren't dead right. right? RIGHT?

- ngl he would probably make a joke out of your body not knowing that ur just sleeping. let's be real

- but let's be fr and serious

- carried you home bridal style once he sees you sleeping somewhere unthinkable. he may be small but holy SHIT is he strong? YES

- plants a sweet kiss on your forehead and leaves

- people have called him multiple times because of you.. so him carrying you is now a daily thing.

- but he doesn't know that you're faking it sometimes LMAO a little smile could be seen on your face when he's carrying you

- you pulled on his arm once when he carried you to bed because it was already late, begging him to stay with our words because babe that's embarrassing! we here do not beg! people with degrading kinks rn 💀

- even though he had so much work to do, he stayed for you

- ugh im so single i can't

- you manage to bribe him because yk he probably isn't getting enough sleep because he's a general. much needed thank you [name]

- he's worried about how pale you are

- guys it's genshin of course there's no melanin

- IM SORRY IF UR POC WHAT I MEANT BY THAT WAS you always look like your frozen.. yk like you can already see your veins through your skin

- encourages you to eat more if you have a problem with that, if that's the cause of you being so pale.

- doesn't look like it but he DOESN'T eat if you don't. you always have to be with him when you eat, if he's not there then it's either him, tighnari, or collei. someone has to keep you company.

- that's all

- btw hey cymps do you not get bothered by his carpet clutchers

AL HAITHAM

- he knows.

- bro stares at you lovingly. he thinks your very pretty when your quiet, he always thinks you're pretty don't get me wrong, but he thinks you're prettier when you shut the fuck up

- sorry that was uncalled for

- police we got another one who carries you when you sleep somewhere unthinkable. but it's in the most stupidest ways possible

- it's either a piggy back ride, or a potato sack carry .. bros feelin a lil goofy. one time you woke up when he was potato sack carrying you and you accidentally kicked him in the face because you didn't realize it was him

- you had to take care of him

- but guess what

- YOU FELL ASLEEP LMFAOAOOA

- Ok sorry.

- now he has to take care of you

- found you sleeping in a cabinet once and never questioned anything you do after that

- his response to "we saw [name] sleeping at [random location]" this fucker responds with "it is what it is" or a "shit happens"

- OKAY let's get serious my bad

- he was actually pretty worried of how pale you were, he didn't know if it was natural or if it was because of your health, and let's say you didn't know either

- he's a lil bit over protective but you know he means well

- once he hears your name in a random conversation, he starts ears dropping, if they're talking shit about you, he pulls them aside to give them a "friendly proper talk" yeah okay whatever makes you sleep at night

- you always look like your about to faint that's probably why he's so overprotective

- yes, you naturally look like that but who knows? he's just worried let him slide

KAVEH

- bro was flabbergasted. he tried waking you up but obviously no avail

- tried calling the hospital. guess what it was closed

- shakes you violently

- I CAN'T REALLY WRITE MUCH SINCE IDK HIS PERSONALITY THAT WELL I'M SORRY KAVEH FANS

- but lemme tell you this he isn't getting used to it

- but when someone tells him they found you somewhere he's so calm somehow? bro sighs but he's sweat dropping irl, comes to pick you up, he doesn't bother waking you up because he already knows the result . . .

- bridal carries you because he's nice, unlike SOMEONE here. you know who you are bro

- “at least im not a free loader”

- al haitham bro stop that

- gags whenever he sees you two arriving, you know what you are, al haitham.

- gets you all cozy like the caring boyfriend he is

- but sometimes he forces you to come with him, best if you don't because al haitham's there too and you probably don't want them disturbing ur sleep since you know how they are!! (i actually just don't wanna explain)

- if you sleep walk then jesus

- JESUS TAKE THE WHEEEELLLL!!!!!

- you may or may not have scared the bejeebers outa him more than once

- sorry his words not mine (it's actually my words) (not false information it's all true)

TIGHNARI

- HE KNOWS. HE KNOWS

- even if it's the first time he's the type of person to know everything about that person when he's trying to approach them

- he's an observant man what can i say. he just leaves you be unless it's important

- has considered throwing you into a pond when you're still sleeping and it's something important

- bro face palms when he sees you sleeping at random places, he has to carry you on his back now, or.. if IFFFF he's feelin a lil giddy then bridal style

- collei tries to help LOL she's so cute, she's carrying all of his stuff while he's carrying you, best student for real

- bribes you into tutoring her when he's busy smh #FREE[NAME]!

- passive aggressive but caring bf .. i want him

- but you obv fall asleep, but you still have notes so she can just snatch them and study it's a win win am i right. no? okay why should i gaf about your opinion radish lookin head ass

- (no im not bullying tighnari im not a bad influence)

- but duh, he's worried because you ARE really pale, asks to examine you with permission because we ask for consent here!! if you don't stop reading and block me and dni

- asks if it's really normal, im leaving ur answer up to you because you know!!!! oh you don't? neither do i

- when you're sick this mf can't tell, because obviously.. headbutts you to see if you're sick, it's a punishment for not telling him

- cups your face and it's so adorable i can't right now i wanna kms

- sorry

- he's just being a little bitch but he really cares about you. source? im a writer and i write x readers of course i know

NILOU

- SWEETEST PERSON HERE unlike some people *looks up*

- always tells you to be careful whenever you randomly go off somewhere because she knows your antics. probably more than you know

- guys sorry we're actually married my bad

- whenever she dances you try so hard to stay awake when ur extra sleepy

- because.. her dances are short and you can stay awake for that long. I think. Unless ur really tired

- but she always let's you slide she understands don't worry

- always places a palm on your forehead whenever you sleep and she's sitting beside you just incase

- she got your back fr, she always covers for you, unless it's really important then she'll lightly scold you for it.. but she's very cute your only focusing on her face let's be fr

- takes naps with you sometimes, when she's supppppper tired after practicing a new dance. obviously you have to help her, so you both are very tired so in conclusion, why not a nap

- flicks your forehead when you fall asleep while doing something important LMAO

- do i have favorites

- always checks up on you, hugs you so fast after a bad day and it's so cute istg

- she's pouting don't talk to me

- also vv worried because you're vv pale! she lays her head on your shoulder while your hand is intertwined with hers because she's looking at the veins that you can literally see right through your skin

- offers to see a professional healer but you deny saying it's natural

- she frowns slightly but wouldn't do anything you don't want to do

DEHYA

- SHE'S SO OVERPROTECTIVE I CAN'T

- you have to be at least 2 ft within her presence. her words not mine but im actually serious

- she will not hesitate to punch someone if they're bothering you when you're sleeping!

- she's almost always there when you take a nap so you feel safe, but when she's not she's probably busy, she knows you won't be going anywhere once you wake up though

- only wakes you up if needed

- she thinks ur a lil lazy so she forces you to take walks with her around the desert because you know staying inside for that long isn't good for you

- but if you're seriously really tired then she won't force you

- carries you around if you're with her and you fell asleep somewhere, she doesn't mind + she's really strong and it's like a workout for her

- at this point you aren't sure if she's your mother or your girlfriend because she's always taking care of you

- people with mommy issues rn💀

- you feel bad so you try to talk to her that you can take care of yourself

- she isn't listening

- you're her number 1 priority

- (real)

©miihai ; not proofread because it's 3:45 am

[l0v3tast3]

What if the 141 Team had a y/n that LOVES spiders and has like 5 big ass spiders at home and everytime they see one ( even if it is the ugly ass scary ones) they will go like "omg! How cute!! I am going to keep it!" And gives them stupid names.

✎ i hate spiders with every fiber in my body irl like if they all went extinct i think all my mental illness would be cured but this is cute lol

✎ tags: uhh spiders?, young military reader, gender neutral reader, platonic, fluff, not proofread as usual

♡ you never make any outright mention of it, but they notice your not-so-common love pretty quick. it's not like they expect you to jump up onto a table and scream when you see a spider, but this isn't what they expected either.

♡ you're all at a safehouse, it's your first mission with them and they don't know you very well yet. kyle, price, and you are sitting at a table going over countless building plans while ghost and soap are fiddling with the armory currently set on a coffee table.

♡ kyle looks over at one of the empty chairs and is just like "oh, a spider" and starts rolling up a piece of paper to smack it with, but you've already got it scooped up in your hands. he watches you walk out of the front door, basically coddling it, holding it much closer to your face than most people would.

♡ it happens a couple more times on that mission (the safehouse is kind of old and grungy, just the usual) and everyone sort of takes notice then. soap mentions it while they're scraping the last of whatever is left out of their rations and you're in another room.

♡ "what's with the kid and spiders? why don't they just kill 'em?" he asks, and kyle shrugs, muttering that you just seem to like them. soap shakes his head and suppresses a soft shudder (he does not like them).

♡ later, you're all in a forest surrounding the building you're scoping out. it's all quiet and you're passing along hushed counts of people and potential entrance points through your mics when they hear you let out a soft gasp.

♡ price asks if you're alright and you whisper-yell through the mics "sorry, there's a huge spider here!" and kyle and soap raise their eyebrows at each other while price rolls his eyes. they think that's the end of it, and eventually price says it's time to go back to the safehouse.

♡ you're the first one back and they all walk in to see you at the table with a grungy tupperware box containing, lo and behold, a huge spider. you've poked holes in the top of the box to make sure it could breathe.

♡ soap is the first to speak. "ah, c'mon kid, what the hell is that thing doin' in here?" you give him a slight side-eye and keep cooing at it through the plastic. "i'm keeping it!" you proclaim. "i can do that, right?" you're looking at price with practically doe-eyes now.

♡ price tries to protest that you shouldn't, it could be an invasive species or something, but you shake your head and tell them what type of spider it is, that it's actually pretty common in most countries, you'll make sure it doesn't get out, that you've had a couple of these before in the past so you know how to take care of it.

♡ "you've had a couple? like as pets?" soap asks incredulously and you just nod without giving him a glance. he gives you a weird look before following ghost to dump his gear off next to his cot. ghost has already been giving you weird looks through the mask, but he doesn't say anything.

♡ price gives up pretty quick and saying no and just tells you to make sure it stays in the box and you nod and promise you will. kyle sits down with you, albeit across from you instead of next to you, and eyes it warily.

♡ "it won't bite! this one's nice. the ones i have at home will though," you joke, and kyle scoots his chair back a teensy bit. price laughs at him.

♡ they learn that you have five other spiders at home. you whip out your phone, eager to show them pictures when they express vague interest, and soap leaves the room entirely. ghost rolls his eyes at him but doesn't move to come see the pictures either. kyle just says "oh... nice!" and price nods along.

♡ they try to limit your collecting habit in the future, but it's hard for them to say no to you. you keep showing them you're ever-growing collection every time you guys see each other again, and kyle ends up knowing all your spiders by name (regardless of if he actually wanted to or not, he just doesn't want to be mean).

✎ hnghhn sorry i've been gone so long again lol i'm writing again tho i promise <3

[2hot444this]

How to change (for real this time)

The problem w/ most people is they read all those self-help books, advice but never end up applying them irl. They think "oh maybe it helped her but situation is completely diff from hers, more complicated. . . " stop. You can change literally anything by changing your mindset.

#1 90% of life is confidence, said a wise person. If you don't believe you can change, who will? I know this one girl who was desperate to change, she used to pester me for advice all the time and initially I did try to help her. But she always ended up back at square one. I'm not her therapist to hear her complain about her pathetic life 24x7 and remind her everyday that she decided to change and to live up to it. I slowly retracted back from her. People like that drain your energy. And she still hasn't changed. Why? She kept going back to things she said she never would associate herself with again. The same people, situations, scenarios that screwed her up over and over again. She's the human representation of "victim mindset." Don't be like her. Seriously, don't try to hate the game, learn to play it.

#2 Stop w/ the self deprecating humor. It ain't hot at all. It makes you look like you lack basic self-respect. If someone's making a joke on you, you should stand up for yourself not you bullying yourself. Build a really deep relationship w/ yourself. No matter what anyone says you should never stop loving yourself. Someone says you're ugly, you shouldn't go ab your day musing upon that and letting it mess w/ you. You need to be cold to be queen. So don't let your emotions get in your way of self development.

#3 Nothing is impossible. Don't constantly affirm that it's so hard, you could never do it cuz it is gonna manifest. Even if it looks impossible to you, be delulu. Act like you have it or at least do the bare minimum of believing that you'll get there. Do your shadow work. It's where you shamelessly admit things to yourself and work on identifying the problem, how to cope w/ it and how to put it in practice. Be 100% honest w/ yourself.

#4 Dissociate yourself from all the things that remind you of the old you (if possible). It will be a wee bit difficult in the beginning but don't beat yourself up over it. You'll slowly get there don't worry, you learn from experience. Never blame yourself or beat yourself up if you do mess up. Course you should be accountable but don't self sabotage yourself. You need yourself in situations like that.

#5 Don't centre yourself around guys, or anyone else. This is your life. It should be around you. When you start having crushes or "sp" you put them on the pedestal. You seek their validation. So why would you do smth so heinous as such?

#6 Take inspo from characters you like. Embody them. Give a name to your alter ego. Act like her. Go on Pinterest and write down some self obsessed quotes and preach them everyday (not 2 much tho!)

#7 Protect your energy. You ain't anyone's therapist. You have no time for ppl's stupid drama. It's your life and it's on you to live upto it's fullest. Be extra, do what you love, what makes you happy. Celebrate your existence.

[agendabymooner]

supermodel ! daniel r. x ofc (måneskin member!ofc)

"yeah, she's a master, my compliments."

summary: an episode of the måneskin tour vlog was uploaded and people are not having it. OR lester really tried not to cry as she spoke about her engagement and life with daniel ricciardo. danny only wanted to fulfill her dream without her worrying about the cost.

content warning: brief use of explicit language, fluff, dirty jokes (no smut), lester being me irl (mentions of money and middle class girlies), måneskin members making their appearance, smau/video clips content.

note: writing this to fulfill my imagination that someone would come swooping in and save me from my student loan (a joke, i will be pursuing press relations this year hopefully). i'm going to uni this year. also. we've had way too much unhinged danny and lester. that's why most of the posts i'm uploading are fluff or relating to babysitting toto wolff's kids. enjoy xx

masterlist

MÅNESKIN TOUR VLOG #2

[first caption: (italian) my fiancé is asking me if we should have a rustic-themed wedding. i told him "mio caro, if we want a good marriage, we can't use our yeehaw persona as a factor of our wedding!" he asked me if i had an input, all i said was "i haven't thought of anything yet."]

[second: person: and your wedding is in december. lester: we've hired a wedding planner, of course. whenever he's on a race or at home and i'm touring we would have a zoom meeting with our coordinator. i'm not being useless, i promise. my planner has been useful so far, and we've already come up with guests, location, entourages. it's challenging but exciting.]

[third: (italian) "your wedding is going to be amazing, from what i can hear" i hope so. danny pushed me into planning it out with him because i've told him about not wanting to impose. everything were so expensive- i still think everything's pricey. he pushed me, asking me what i want for our wedding. he didn't like it when i think about money, because apparently it's stopping me from pursuing my dreams.]

[fourth: (italian) i like to be independent and earn money on my own. but the kind of wedding that i wanted-it wasn't on my budget. when danny said "tell me what you want" all i can think about is him taking control of the matter. his budget, not mine. beggars can't be choosers.]

[fifth: he wants an answer. at first i wanted to joke, but then i remembered vividly watching a tape from the wedding of princess diana. she had this really nice dress. and she got married and she had all of these pictures in a palace. i told him, "if you don't mind, i would like to get married in a castle. be a princess for a day." he looked at me funny for thinking that he would be bothered by anything that i'm saying]

[sixth: i still feel like i'm imposing whenever i get invited to gatherings with/by his friends or family. it's like the same with (my) paddock passes- i know i've earned my place but it still feels like i'm not one of them and never will be. but the thing is: i love danny. he makes me feel like i belong somehow. and i feel like i'd be more than willing to give my body and soul to him as soon as he asks for it.]

[seventh: *sniffles* (italian) i need to stop speaking about him especially if he's not here. he's got some sort of sense when i speak about him and he'd text me (to ask) if i was chatting shit. but he's been amazing. i cannot imagine spewing out the worst things especially to/about him. those two years of being together and my six years of pining on twitter were worth it. i just hope he sees me as his equal not as a burden.]

bonus !!!

f1tillywolff posted !

user1 replied: "he's fiancé" sounds like danny saying "i'm baby!" while sipping on an apple juice lmfao 🤣

user2 replied: i'm sure with learning how to speak french fast, she should be able to learn and speak wombat.

user3 replied to user2: bestie wtf is speaking wombat? 😭

user2 replied to user3: it's when you can't speak joey, you resort to wombat.

f1tillywolff posted !

user1 replied: why am i even excited for the reception nood art painting 💀 it's nice to know she's still as messy

user2 replied: first pic really said "lester alessandro, h0rny on main, caught in 4k" 😔

f1tillywolff replied to user2: nah that's just lester being lester. it's been the wildest 2 years for us danester dumpster fans.

user3: her attention going from her fiancé to the mechanical bull really shows you where her priorities lie 🤡🤣

loressandro replied to user3: everything reminds me of him 🤠

[elizabethrobertajones]

so after taking like half a year to watch the second doctor, I burned through Pertwee Doctor in what felt like a week. I was fully ready to formally induct him to the hall of favourites somewhere around the top, pending the wikipedia search to check he such wasn't a terrible guy IRL it made it into the personal life section as per the last 2, and -

[refuses to be in a film when a producer won't hire a gay friend]

good start, good start (already liked everything else I read but this is an incredible character merit mark for a guy in the 50s)

[the doctor is literally just him being himself on camera]

Oh, so I just want him to be my friend, I see

[he said the catalyst for leaving was the death of Roger Delgado among other changes in the last year]

Wait WHAT - is that why there was no more Master later on -

[Delgado died on location filming in Turkey, his own wiki page repeats that this was why Pertwee wanted out]

NO NO NO NO NNOOOO

HOW IS THIS HUGE BIT OF DOCTOR WHO HISTORY SOMETHING I NEVER HEARD ABOUT? I GREW UP IN SCI FI CONVENTION SPACES BUT EVERYONE JUST TALKS ABOUT TOM BAKER LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED BEFORE?

WHAT THE FUCK.

I am DISTRAUGHT, the Doctor/Master stuff from the first few seasons of the 3rd Doctor was absolutely INCREDIBLE television. I'd been assuming Delgado maybe had somewhere else to be. Heartily recommend watching that entire run of the show if you don't want to start any earlier.

Well, anyway. :(

I know people don't like the weird James Bond swing it all took with him but the show had been getting more action-y anyway under the 2nd doctor and then a guy who had literally been in the inner circle with all the WWII creatives like Ian Fleming and probably helped INSPIRE James Bond gets the role, I'm feeling like we're blessed and privileged from this perspective of getting to watch it as a historical artefact. I'm assuming based on the vague things I know about the 4th Doctor, the first I'm meeting with any preconceptions, that he's obviously not capable of bringing THAT to the table because that was no ordinary skillset, Pertwee was clearly a top 0.00001% of actors and Guys Who Had Lived A Life, who happened to be doing a silly BBC sci fi show. I'm expecting it to tone back on all these things.

And then in hindsight from the Doctor Who revival era, all the nonsense he brought, aside from the Venusian Karate and flying car and a few other extreme eccentricities, end up being stuff that feels much more modern and like the kind of antics the Doctor gets involved in. Like, he took the sonic screwdriver from being a couple of times joke into a multi-tool with the first joke about it not working on wood after he uses it through many episodes to escape or explode things, all of which is so common nature to the Doctor nowadays.

He also had far more of the casual behaviours we think of as The Doctor now, especially way less circumspect name dropping of historical people and a sense of having lived all around time and space, sometimes for extensive periods of time (he clearly like. LIVED on Venus to pick up all the various throwaway jokes about Venusian culture to explain things he does lmao). Weirdly, despite knowing he was a timetraveller from the jump, the previous two doctors were quite close-lipped about who they knew and had met, and rarely namedropped.

In any case, carrying on into 4th doctor era cautiously because I am 1: sad and 2: deeply let down by my perception of Whovian culture as I've been exposed to it, which sets a ridiculously high bar for Baker as the high watermark of Who and meanwhile I have just bid farewell to watching one of the most electric actors I've ever seen in anything ever while feeling wildly upset on his behalf that there isn't a bonkers appreciative fan culture for everything he did and he's written off as one of the quirky weird early doctors you don't need to bother with.

(AND THERE WAS WRITTEN QUEER DOCTOR MOMENTS. AT LEAST 2-3 OF THEM, GENDER AND SEXUALITY-WISE. HE GOT TALKED TO IN POLARI. ON TV IN 1972. THAT DOES NOT HAPPEN BY ACCIDENT.)

[kyouka-supremacy]

If we’re talking about sexism in BSD can we talk about Dazai Osamu’s Entrance Exam? (Not the anime adaptation) I really really really hated how Dazai and Kunikida would talk about Sasaki right in front of her like she wasn’t even there?? And just how they generally were with her…Reading that light novel was a genuinely unpleasant experience more times than I’d like to admit solely because of how egregiously gross it was when it came to Sasaki's character and how the guys would treat her. I've never seen anyone talk about it but it's been bugging me for a while now.

(个_个)

I understand how that's all sorts of fucked up. I haven't read the Entrance Exam novel but in my opinion the Sasaki / Kunikida / Dazai anime scenes rub just as wrong. There's really the whole deal of talking in front of women like they were lesser / objects which is plain atrocious. But then again, the bsd novels produced the unfamous Naomi description, so it's really the author giving their worst apparently.

The sexism in bsd is pathologic. Something I've brought up before but that is really explicative to me, Dazai going “The murder must have occurred in the early morning, because that's the only time of the day a woman wouldn't be wearing make-up”. And it's probably silly of me to pick up on such a small thing when wearing make-up is debated within feminist spaces itself, and it's probably something I have personal issues with, but the way in the story it serves the role of an objective hint, something plain and unconfutable, that women are expected to wear make-up at every hour of the day and them not doing so is just absurd and unthinkable… To me it really speaks of how the world of bsd is a world were women are expected to fit a determined ideal that is very distant from reality, and the author really has a very limited understanding of what women are actually like irl.

If we’re talking about sexism in bsd, can we talk about what was up with the Yosano / buisnessman (?) scene in chapter 7? It's been two years since I've watched and read that scene, and I still can't figure out what it's supposed to mean or convey. First, Yosano is shown being tame and overly polite towards someone who was being extremely rude; then, after he hits her and tells her to know her place, she replies “Well, a thousand pardons, sir. Would it be more womanly for me to crush your puny ××××× under my heels, perhaps?”. Now, her reply is somewhat funny, but really, doesn't mean anything. And I'm not talking about the censure. Why is her behaviour so fluctuating and inconsistent? What does womanhood has to do with anything here? Why would she be so polite and then suddenly backtrack? Really, why was she being polite in the first place to someone being so vulgar and disrespectful towards her? Honestly, that doesn't feel Yosano at all. At most it feels like that's supposed to portray how a woman is expected to react in an imaginary and unrealistic world, but that has so little standing potential irl, not even Yosano in this manga could hold the charade for long, and the result ends up looking awkward and nonsensical. Every time I see this scene I'm just like… What is going on here. Not even in a judgemental way, just as in “I seriously can't understand what the author was trying to say with this”, and frankly, I don't think they do know either. It really makes evident their struggle to write female characters, like women were this strange, foreign, very abstract concept that's impossible to crack or relate to. And when the answer is so simple, that you shouldn't write women as an unknown and indecipherable species, but simply as people— it would almost be endearing if it wasn't so detrimental. I won't even get to her “It is an era of equality for men and women” line which, put in the context of this manga, comes off as the most unfunny joke ever. Here, I can see what the author was trying to do alright, nodding to irl Yosano Akiko feminist viewpoints, but making the character Yosano talk in cheap feminist slogans to rival mcu movies ends up doing her a disservice more than anything, and I doubt it would leave the actual Yosano Akiko positively impressed at all.

If we’re talking about sexism in bsd, can we talk about how Kouyou should be the next pm boss, and the fact that the spot is canonly reserved for Chuuya instead is insane and nonsensical and outrageous to the point that even CHUUYA agrees on the fact that she should be the one? You know, Kouyou, the powerful ability user, experienced, senior in hierarchy, who has been shown to be both loyal to the current boss Mori and close to him on a personal level? Compared to Chuuya who never wanted to be the boss in the first place? But he gets to be either way, because the concept of a woman pm boss is just unthinkable. I feel like there's more reasons to cry for that Cannibalism stage play scene than the Flags' voices.

If we’re talking about sexism in bsd, can we talk about Higuchi? Can we talk about Lucy? Bsd offers so many examples of its sexism, we could be here to talk about it for days. At this point I feel like I might come across as someone who loves hating on things, but in reality every time I write a post of this kind it's a desperate prayer to the author: “Prove me wrong! Please, prove me wrong! Write women with layers and agencies! Expand on their virtues and flaws and ambitions! Dedicate narrative arcs to them! Prove me wrong!”

[punkeropercyjackson]

HM How do i put this.So people often think 'punk' and 'asshole' are synomyous and this causes problems when it comes to character interpretations(and irl too ofc but that's for a future post).Now i'm not saying you can't be punk and an asshole because that would be absolutely stupid and just incorrect but the latter does not make the former and you shouldn't force anyone to when they're not even if they're fictional since how you treat characters who're part of a group reflects how you think of the irl one

I'm gonna use the example that prompted this post:Spiderpunk aka Hobie Brown.Hobie is often characterized as mean-spirited and perverted because he's explicitly meant as the embodiment of black punks but the thing is,in the actual movie and og comics,Hobs is an incredibly sweet and gentle person and if you think i'm being ridicilous for saying that about the dude who kills fascists and runs his mouth all the time,consider that direct action is not an act of cruelty but kindness towards oppressed people by helping them have a safer world and that Hobie's only actually rude to authority figures and with everyone else he's just goofy.He's also pretty open with how much he loves his friends and always has their backs and i find it very odd how often he gets assumed to be an extremely sexual person when there were never even any under the radar adult jokes about or by him and the smoker headcanon for him is baseless too and pretty obviously only happens for sex appeal

And that's a general problem with both canonical and popularly headcanon punk characters-Most fandom members think punk is 1.Exclusively male and 2.Inherently made to make yourself attractive.There's nothing wrong with finding punk men super hot but there IS a lot wrong is assigning punkhood to them with that intention alone,especially often the characters are not only just EdgyTM but also straight up fascists(Hp and Marauders Flop Era 'kinnies',please touch grass)

This leads to defanging of punk female characters.Katara is a classic example and Zuko is a rich boy with weird biases he's very open about that didn't fade until adulthood while Katara is an eco-terrorist who reclaims girlhood for herself by being anti-traditionalist and feminine in her own way yet Zuko is always the punk of the Gaang in aus.Stephanie Brown and not a girl but Duke Thomas are a poor woman who grew up friendless and abused by her dad and had a drug addict mom so she became a vigilante at 14 to help people like her and is implied to be a metalhead and a black boy who grew up getting kicked out schools and in and out of foster homes and joined a gang of crime fighters respectively but Stephanie is called scene instead(cause pastel punks don't exist right /s)and Duke is turned a meek black boyloser stereotype so that Jason Todd can be the punk Batkid instead,which is certainly......a choice seeing as Under The Red Hood is basically about him doing freestyle death penalty and is not actively an activist even if he does enjoy helping people and does whenever he has the opportunity to by narrative.Very important sidenote is that Stephanie and Duke are often entierly erased from Batman fan content despite being Jason's Batgirl and Robin and i think you can guess why(that obviously the coolest Batkid has to be the fan favorite white boy /s x2)

And i feel the need to include this one due to my url and that is Percy Jackson.Percy is representation for audhd and dyslexic people who can never mask and got bullied and abused for it but remained kind against all world's cruelty and choose to help others since they wanted the world to be like that to them as a kid instead but they ALSO aren't a pussy about it so they openly stand up to corrupted people and refuse to be like them no matter how hard they try to get them to and they openly hate them for what they're like and they act like a parental figure to younger minorities.Their creator stated he never inteded Percy as being bisexual and has no interest in it but he also said he'd be happy and supportive of Percy being played by a poc one day and within the books Percy is extremely transfem-coded so obviously the fandom pops several blood vessels when literally any of this is aknowledged because they read the wrong books and wanted a white male power fantasy in ancient greek gays flavor

You can be super nice and punk because punk is a subculture,not an entire personality type.And i hate to break it to edgecases on here but being super mean to people without a justified reason because you think it's cool or finding irresistibly hot on others is one of the most normal things you can do

[raviolirash]

Do you insert any of yourself into your OCs? Maybe some more than others? Or are all they completely different people than you?

(I'm struggling to make an OC that's not very self-insert like)

This might get rambly lol

I don't care if a character is a self-insert most of the time. As long as it's not shit like YIIK where it's Rantsona: The Game but we don't have time for that rant.

I think putting your own biases and lived experiences into OCs is ultimately unavoidable, and each of my OCs definitely carries a piece of me. They deal with themes of not having an identity after years of abuse, toxic parents, struggling to not become bitter and jaded and cynical, being an outsider and a foreigner, a lot of anger. But they're barely anything like me as a person irl if that makes sense.

I'd wager that a lot of popular hero fictional characters are self inserts at heart. When writing heroes people tend to write characters they want to be. And ain't nothing wrong with that. I also think it's great to base your characters on traits you admire in other people. A hack I guess is to spread it out. Take one trait of yours, make it a flaw, and have the narrative deal with it. But ultimately: fuck all the rules just have fun with it.

Here's my children in brief and how I shaped them in case it helps. Under a ReadMore because jesus christ this got incredibly LONG. I have terminal brainworms. Thanks Larian.

Dalia is a fool. A wood-elf druid who grew up outside of society and was never subjected to any cruelty of the world until the tadpoles happened. She completely unironically believes that she can fill the Hells with flowers. It's a character flaw in the beginning, but turns to an admirable strength as somehow she isn't completely jaded after the harsh journey. She is changed and stronger, but she never became bitter.

On the opposite end, Raga is a tiefling thrown out of the city who is just bitter at the world and wants to become a Creature. Astarion seems normal compared to them. People already stare at them in disgust and fear so why stop. Fuck it! Eat worms! Oh no, I don't want to become a full mind flayer and lose more than I already have. I want to live. Oh shit, oh fuck. Make it stop!

Vėlė is my problem child. I don't need to get into the harsh and dogmatic drow society and make this post longer. Prior to the story she had never been given a painless space to explore her own ideas, or question them, or be taught that they are wrong. As a result she struggles with everything. She is always conflicted about what the right choice is. In the end, she no longer fights to survive for only her own survival as she had been taught. She now fights to survive so that she can fight for her friends and people who can't hold a sword.

Then you go from there when shaping their personalities and speaking patterns and habits they have and mannerisms etc. They might be based on me in their own ways, but none of these chucklefucks speak the way I do. And it's a fun thing to sit down and figure out what kind of person their respective societies would spit out.

Vėlė is a master of survival, and that includes a sharp silver tongue that I wish I had instead of being stunlocked. She will make very bad choices with good intentions because she's struggling to fight a worldview that has done more harm than good. She would be eloquent, as choosing the wrong word meant death back home. When in a relaxed environment like talking to her companions at the end of the night, that stiffness gradually fades away as she can shut off Survival Mode. You might actually hear a joke.

Dalia would be terrible at Common, in turn focusing more on giving gifts and practicality instead of trying to form a sentence when it comes to bonding with her new companions. She struggles as a leader, not being the best speaker. She will always choose to make her point with actions instead. Dalia is not dumb by any means. Ah yes. The struggle of having to do 5D math in order to express yourself in another language. That's nice.

Raga is just angry but a lot of that anger does come from an identity crisis as they have no idea who they are. So it translates to the more they speak the less time to eat worms and modify their body. You can't lose yourself and replace yourself if there was nothing there to begin with. But plot twist: there was something there to begin with.

I better stop this post here thanks for reading lol.

[moshieee]

Hello it is I, random anon who does not know you and has never interacted with you before, what is your opinion of your mutuals?

Oh hi @bixell-pixell I'll include you even if we're not mutuals I think you're pretty chill all things considered

That's kinda it idk you that well

Anyways

You didn't specify so I'm going to list all my mutuals in the order of oldest to newest on my following page that I remember sorry of I missed anyone and for the @ s

*inhales*

@e-the-village-cryptid (I don't have a tag for e yet but it would probably just be E)

Not only the first person who I became friends with here but also the first one I ever started sharing my stories with, even if we don't talk too much I'm glad Every time we do and I see them on my dash, (they bring some of my favorite posts and when I do send posts sometimes I mix up and send them their own reblogs) I'm so glad we're still friends, thanks for letting me ramble about stuff for 6 hours hehe

@jaqofallgenders (no tag for jaq yet either)

my in person friend and the longest friendship I've ever had with someone, love you 🫶. I'll be more specific on Monday if our ADHD doesn't kick in and make us both forget

@strawberry-seal77 (seal-berry!!!)

Hi hi hi yellows my friend 👋 the person I consider to be the second ever friend I made on here, a lovely person as well and wait waaa and an amazing artist too 👀??? Love you silly goofball and the amazing posts and jokes you have we should chat more often I thinkith.

@rabid-mercenary16 (Rabid jumpscare)

Hey hey hey .... BWAMP! Hope you feel better soon

I probably have the most to say about Rabid but all try to make it a bit shorter. besides being the first artist to do art jokes and include me, with we also became mutuals and interacting around a time when my life started to get a lot better. Even if she's not the only factor in that I definitely associate her with stuff improving, and she did play a big factor in it (I already explained a lot on my Valentine's Day gift to her and the others). Also she's just an awesome person to spend time with and be goofy, amazing sense of humor and I just love being friends with such an awesome person and artist.

@dia-smthidk (Dia fren)

I'm assuming you don't want a bowl of soup

I also said a lot about them in my Valentine's Day gift, but we've become closer friends sense then even if we don't get to chat as much as I'd like to. I relate a lot and am surprised how we have so much in common. Amazing artist and person as well and I wish we could hang out more, idc if they think they're bringing down the mood when/if they bring stuff up about irl, and maybe I won't figure out their timezone but oh well, please take care of yourself gender sibling.

@bunnybunnsowo (BUN BUN BROTHER!!)

little brother 🫶🫶💝💞🫶✨👋❤️!!!

(I could have sworn we became mutuals before Dia?)

another person I shared a lot about with the Valentine's Day gift, I love you my little brother! Seriously one of the kindest people I've met and I'm so glad they have bug in his life. Bun deserves the world and they keep sending me opposum images!!! Gona die from cuteness and his kindness one of these days istg

@spookykittyzzz (greaah why don't I have a tag for you???)

A very kind person and artist I don't know too much sense we're not that close yet but love the few chats we have had so far. Hope we get to hang out more even if I'm awful at reaching out to others and saying hi.

@glitchyk (goop buddies)!!

Nooo the parallels

One of the first people who was interested to deep dive into my creations and ask about my stories and worlds They're probably competing with Rabid with how much I have to say about her/silly. Seriously it's incredible how much we have in common and now I get to share and collaborate our sonas stories together it's amazing. And as someone once said "you can yap for hours". I love how creative and clever they are, I just wish they would be kinder to herself. One day I'll make glichy see how awesome she is.

@unfunnyaceartist (Floridian disadvantage) I feel like I should change that

When I say I was shookith when ace asked to be friends I mean I was shookith first person so show up and ask that (the others kinda just happened). Amazing artist and don't believe her lies she is funny. I'm so heckn glad we're friends., love the goofy and silly idc if she's a bit of a simp they've helped me a lot start to understand slang and references I'm supposed to understand shhshsh (such is the curse of how I grew up) we need to make our mafia sonas interact at some point I can already imagine the chaos /silly

@neptunestoast (plushy slime)

Hugs hugs hugs*

Trying my best not to baby talk I swear. amazing person first person to show up and be like "hey I Wana do something for you and your friends". Love their humor and another gender sibling!!! Hugs for ever for as long as they're ok with it. I love their creativity as well and Noodle is so adorable. I just want to pick them up in a hug so much. Kibbity/silly

@ner5y (no tag woops ill figure something out)

What are you doing here??? How are we friends???

I was absolutely confused and startled when they followed me especially since it was during a spoons argument . Amazing artist like holy heck I wish I was allowed to curse on this blog. Their humor also took me by surprise when I got invited to the discord, and even if they doubt how well they're running it I think they're doing amazing. And I love our silly interactions like this one

@vexation-816 (chaotic ADHD buddy!!!)

Why did it take me so long to follow you istg

ADHD ADHD ADHD my buddy oh pal we both got that and it's driving us insane/silly. Love how creative he is and the ideas for his sona and character lore. Also one of the first people who shared a character they added to my nightlight au. This is getting twords the end and I'm tired of whiting so much and am on a timer oh no. But your amazing dude don't ever forget thag

@butlerbugbunny (anxiety bunny buddy)

This is why I didn't respond to the DM yet hshsh

New friend who I feel anxious talking to sometimes but a wonderful kind bunny who I'm also incredibly happy to be friends with. Love his art so much it's amazing (shoot shoot timer is going off) I'm glad he's their for bun and wish them the best I possibly can 🫶.

@lilithloves-you (lillith my be-loathed?) need to change that

Don't you dare bring up grilled cheese

Glitchys friendo who I'm also friends with now. We don't interact too much but I've sent her on missions to go hug glitchy (to help both of them feel better but shhh). I hope we become closer friends in the future.

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/740284683556929536/

Omg I'm so sorry! I wrote that anon when I was sleepy so it had very ham-fisted wording. Yes, I meant to ask about portraying self-esteem issues about bodies. I thought guys don't talk about it much.

To that one person, why would dudes comparing dick sizes be considered smut? I can see it being rated M. Are you suggesting the rating go up to E?

--

Ahahaha.

Uh... anon... if that's truly what you were trying to ask... I think maybe you need to work on your writing a bit more. The vibes you give off are odd, to say the least...

Like, creepy pervert angling for foot fetish photos while lying about what they want-level weird.

It sounds like you want to heavy-breathe while reading guys' descriptions of their own penises, not like you want help with writing.

--

The reason your ask reads so "She breasted boobily down the stairs" but from the other side is that guys, at least from what I've seen, do not stand around comparing their dicks, at least not in the way you implied.

The people who most commonly compare their junk out of curiosity are toddlers.

This is something tiny children do. Anecdotally, some teens do it, but a lot don't, and there are clickbait articles about athletes sizing each other up this way, but they are just that: clickbait. I'm not saying it never happens, but you wrote about it like it always happens.

It is fucking weird to have a grown-ass man routinely doing it outside of maaaaybe some weirdly homoerotic scene in a stoner comedy or something.

People joke about this practice because it's a thing that exists, not because it is ubiquitous.

That's also why it reads like porn. IRL, if some dude is like "I think we should compare our dicks... uh... and they should be hard so we can compare properly", many other guys are going to interpret that as sexual. And also self-deluding. Which is a good reason to say no.

--

Most people in locker rooms and public bathrooms try to give each other a little privacy if they can, regardless of gender. Openly ogling is what you do if you're about to proposition someone for sex. Or, if it's hostile, you stare because you're about to beat them up.

I'm not saying a guy couldn't sneakily see the size of another guy's junk and have a response, but the whole way you described this sounds like you've never spoken to a human before. Did you seriously get this idea from those clickbait articles?

Among other issues, penises become erect. They look different in different states of arousal. Surely, you've heard of "growers vs. showers"? Temperature also matters. There's a whole fucking bit on Seinfeld that everyone quoted for like years and is probably still quoting about "shrinkage"—i.e. a guy is insecure that someone saw him when he'd just gotten out of the pool and his dick looked small because he was cold. Hopefully, the locker room isn't that cold, but you still don't know what a dude's dick looks like all of the time from catching a glimpse of it one time.

So an adult man who is not completely unfamiliar with penises is not going to 1. openly stare at another man in the locker room and 2. look only at his penis and have some crisis about "Mine looks different".

I suppose for the right character in the right circumstances, you can sell any kind of goofy-ass reaction, including the "breasted boobily" stuff where women think consciously about their tits in a way that actual women generally don't and male authors love to write. But you have to make it a whole Thing. She has to have some reason why her nipples are super sensitive today and thus she pays attention when she normally wouldn't.

Instead, you keep asking these dumbass questions like you're 12 that boil down to "Literally all men are the same cardboard cutout based on their D&D stats from this character sheet. Please tell me some facts about these stats!" instead of approaching people as individual humans who all react differently. You haven't even said anything about what kind of culture these characters come from. Both personality and specific culture (not just big things like nationality but shit like whether they're athletes who change with the same guys all the time) are going to affect how and whether men talk about self esteem and bodies.

You're boiling this down to "What does the penis-having alien species all do?" despite already getting several answers that told you to stop doing that. You either didn't listen or didn't understand what people meant so badly that it's pointless to keep giving you help.

This is not a good way to write three-dimensional characters.

--

Now, I'm not saying nobody has ever snuck a peek in a locker room. Lots of people, regardless of gender, do that. But we're talking covert looks and that kind of looking gives you glimpses of many body parts and not always a very clear look either.

Most actual men on most actual days of their lives are going to feel insecure about their bodies relative to someone else because the other dude looks better at the gym or grows chest and facial hair more easily or is much taller or isn't going bald.

We love to make jokes about penis size, but in my experience, the level of perpetual crisis dudes have over potential baldness is way higher. There are a shitton of ways to be insecure about yourself and your body. That goes for any gender.

Maybe a dude feels insecure because the other guy is much less body-conscious and has an easier time changing in front of people or because he's paid five times as much and is changing into a thousand dollar suit.

Many of the markers of masculinity and attractiveness have very little to do with penises.

There's also a vast difference between your POV character thinking some other dude's huge package is admirable and your POV character thinking he himself is inadequate. He could think his own dick is average and that it would be nicer to be hung like a pornstar without being insecure about it. He could also have a big dick yet still be insecure about it because he's a weirdo who's obsessed with penis size. He could be a size queen who wants to take a ride on that. He could have an ex girlfriend who thought big penises hurt and be creepily fascinated and wonder whom this guy fucks and how they manage.

--

All this shit is a character point. Stop treating it as immutable truth where someone can give you the Correct Answer™ for you to slot into your writing or spank bank fantasies.

[haupkmn]

I need a space to kinda yell for a bit. Please don't turn this into a joke or repost it. I have nowhere else I can really say this.

Most of this started by me not understanding that a "break" meant wanting to cut ties but in a way that seems softer, I guess? Social cues aren't my strongest skill and this sounds stupid but I don't understand boundaries because nobody respects mine. This goes for online stuff and IRL friends and family.

I probably shouldn't be publicly spiraling on here because it'll be screenshot without my permission/consent and taken out of context but a lot of this situation has fucked with my perception of reality & how boundaries work and it feels really dumb saying that.

When I say I have a boundary around being blocked, I'm not saying "nobody is allowed to block me", that's not fair and not a boundary. What I mean is, if someone who's close to me wants to stop being friends and cut contact, I'd like it if we could talk things out, leave no hard feelings and say goodbye so I don't worry about someone stalking me for the next five years.

The same thing goes for screenshotting me without asking. I first started asking that not because I have anything to hide, but because my longterm stalker found a private Facebook page of mine that was mostly my family, screenshot a photo of me when I was a kid in revealing clothing and edited my skin white.

I don't want to explain why certain things upset or bother me since being triggered by something is stupid apparently?? I don't know. Whenever someone accuses me of something I blatantly didn't do or I copy their actions after they do it, I'm always the one who's wrong and it's frustrating.

This is so stupid, but I feel so torn into thinking I'm someone evil and disgusting who only wants to hurt others because people keep assuming I want that, or some sort of attention when I don't.

Even if I don't completely remember them, I know I did hurt people but I would never doxx them or contact their families. I had to get the information I got at the time because someone threatened to contact my abuser, who they know has attacked me and I just desperately wanted a restraining order. I want to be left alone.

I keep offering proof but I can't think of any other way to say that I didn't do it when people tear off the context and lie about their actions. If I really attacked someone at somewhere I got employed the next year, I wouldn't be employed there to begin with.

This whole thing just. sucks. I don't want to say its not fair that people are cutting ties, I'm more jealous than anything because it's not fair that they get to leave me when I'll always be stuck with me, and when I die, I'll always be with me. There's no escaping me but me. I want to improve, I want to get better and I know I can but nobody fucking listens to me.

I don't want to be a joke anymore, I never wanted to be a "stalker" or an abuser. I'm tired of people turning me into the world's worse inside joke and threatening me with a lie to stay quiet about their wrongdoings. I don't get how people think it's funny to make fake pride flags about me or joke about someone raping me for years.

Most of the time I'm a people pleaser, in the end I want as many people to be happy as they can be. I want others to feel safe in general and around me but I also want the chance to defend myself without sounding like a huge creep but that feels impossible without overstepping someone's boundaries that I don't get.

The harassment isn't intentional, I just want to defend myself against someone lying about me abusing my dog, or me hurting children, or giving out someone's phone number or whatever the new lie of the week is. I don't mean to make anyone scared or uncomfortable, I just don't know how else to say what I need to without overstepping without meaning to overstep.

[ambrosialdesire]

idk if you’re comfortable with nsfw so you could ignore this if you want…

but what kinks do you think the aot men have as yanderes… 😏

lmfao anon, most of my fics are straight nsfw or have implications of nsfw in them, it's alright to send in nsfw reqs/messages haha (this is not me being mean, im saying this in a joking tone hehe) and sorry this took so dang long to post, i decided to make this my blog's anniversary post LOL

since you didn't mention anyone specific, imma do reiner, eren, levi, zeke, and jean. you already know i'm always gonna put reiner in LMAO eren and levi and jean cause i kinda already have a feel for them in yandere writings, and zeke cause idk why not lol

i'm kinda doing main kinks? 4-5 of them for each of them but idk, i'm just writing whatever works for them in my perspective even though any of the kinks can work for either one of them in certain situations lol and i'm terrible at making long headcanon lists so it's just me blabbering and trying my best to describe the scenarios 💀

NGL THIS IS PROBABLY A REALLY UNPOPULAR OPINION but i don't really like when headcanon lists are like one sentence long and they never go in depth about it or when they make each bullet point a sentence that correlates to the previous point IDK WHY IT IRKS ME SO BAD AND SOME PEOPLE MIGHT LIKE IT THAT WAY AND THAT'S FINE LOL

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YANDERE AOT MEN'S KINKS

18+ DARK CONTENT BELOW, MINORS AND BLANK BLOGS DNI

pairing(s) : reiner x fem!reader, eren x fem!reader, levi x fem!reader, jean x fem!reader, zeke x fem!reader tags + warnings: general yandere and obsessive themes, unhealthy relationships, explicit sexual content, violent themes, dubcon/noncon implications, breeding, size kink, praise, dom/sub/switch dynamics, rough sex, edging, dacryphilia, marking, blood mention, cannibalism mention, muzzling, exhibition, voyeurism, quickies, pussy worship, forced feminization, knife kink, choking, slapping, collar/leash use, cockwarming, wax-play, forced domestication, humiliation note: please keep in mind of the tags above and do not proceed if triggering or uncomfortable, especially if you are a minor!! do not read my or any other writers' dark content if you are underaged. this is a fictional work and does not reflect irl morals, do not believe this is how a real romance works or functions.

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REINER

YOU ALREADY KNOW THE BUSINESS WITH HIM reiner's kinks are definitely anything associated with breeding. mating presses, creampies, lactation, etc. he just loves claiming that way, pushing his cum in and leaving himself plugged inside to ensure that pregnancy is in the future. you belong to him and what more to show it than giving you a child. literally whenever he has sex, it's like he goes into a rut and his mind locks in that he must breed you. then when your milk starts coming in, seeing you leak unlocks something in him that makes him absolutely feral. he finds it so attractive and will spend hours sucking on your tits, esp if you're in pain and in need to help get it sorted out. ain't that kind of him? size kink. since reiner's pretty massive (hehe), he would always adores how much smaller you are. if you're shorter than him, it gives him the feeling that he has to protect you and it gets him so hard seeing you struggle to take him all in, cockhead bulging out of your lower stomach. if you're taller than him or roughly the same height, he does anything to make you feel smaller than him, pushing you down into the bed or making you go on your hands and knees to take in his dick in your mouth. reiner wants you to be weaker than him, to be completely dependable on him and him alone. he's not completely a dom though in my eyes tbh, he's more of a switch with dom-leaning tendencies (bc he first gotta set the control he has over you as a yandere). sometimes he wants to be dominated, wants to be the one begging to put his cock inside of you, and brought to tears from how good you're using him. he's vocal as fuck too, whimpering and moaning so loudly whenever you ride him and play with his tits (CAUSE OMFG I WILL CONTINUE TO SPREAD THE IDEA EVEN MORE THAT HIS TITTIES ARE SENSITIVE AND SO SQUISHY AND PLAYABLE BRUH). he'll always have a limit to how much control you have over him during sex so don't get too cocky cause he'll take over in a snap of a finger. it doesn't matter if he was a breathless mess that had been edged for hours and just came all over his stomach, he's gonna pound you until you're the one whimpering in overstim. HUGE PRAISE KINK, he loves giving praise and receiving it. he's complete putty in your hands if you praise him, makes him feel super good about himself when you say that he's fucking you so good and he loves to feel you clench around him when he says that you look so pretty for him or that you're taking him in so well. even out of sex, he whispers sweet little compliments in your ear just to see you get all flustered about it.

his yandere tendencies come out when he catches you with other men (cacoëthes you'll always be famous TO ME), even if you don't intended to be involved with them, and bro FUCKS like he's trying to prove a point. he's pushing deep into you until his tip is pressed flushed into your cervix and biting at your neck, leaving dark marks that'll last for days to come. he's growling into your ear about how no one and i mean no one can compare to his cock and the way he fucks you. he's literally carving the shape of his dick into you so you'll never forget it. if you try and run off with another man, he wouldn't and never will amount to reiner. that's even if you can ever escape him in the first place.

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EREN

this mf is into edging. eren loves to build you up and never let you get there, mostly because it makes you become desperate and so delirious to cum that you'd literally do anything to get there. even he goes CRAZY if he got edged for hours and he cums hard, like the shooting kind of cumming all over you. he's into that shit too, covering every inch of your skin in his warm stickiness. it's like a mark that you can't quite get rid of.

eren's a dacryphiliac, nothing gets him harder than seeing your tears stream down your face. crying because it's so good? stiff as a rock. crying because it's too much? oh my god, he's going to keep fucking you until you're a blabbering mess. he's also into that predator-prey thing, where you're desperately trying to get away from him but your stifled sobs always make it easy to find you and sooner than not, he's pounding you into the nearest surface while licking your tears off your face.

bites, hickeys, bruises, anything of the marking sort, he's into it. eren's known for being a biter, so any chance he gets and for him to be able to cum sometimes, he's sinking his teeth into your flesh. the taste of your blood makes him a little delirious (if this was the actual aot-verse, i think that he's and any other titan user that consumed a lot of human/titan blood is used to the taste (not armin cause he's only eaten bertolt i think) and it's like any other usual meal (they just have a hint of cannibalistic tendencies and you cannot take this idea away from me)). sometimes you'll have to take physical action to make him stop biting down so hard, you elbowed him hard one time when he literally wasn't letting go of your shoulder. the absolute terror that you felt when you looked into his eyes when he finally released you, your blood dripping down his mouth. it was like staring at a starving wolf in the middle of his meal.

because of this, sometimes you muzzle him. eren hates it since he likes biting you, but he's starting to like it a little more every day he gets to fuck you. bro's like a feral dog with it on, the cool metal pressing against your neck, and you could feel his drool drip down from how much he wants to sink his teeth in or because of how much your cunt is making him all hot and delirious. eren's probably the most vocal out of all of them, so you're going to be hearing every whine and groan that's coming out of him.

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JEAN

I FEEL OUT OF ALL OF THEM, JEAN'S THE LEAST FREAKIEST 😭😭

that being said, he's into exhibition/voyeurism LMFAO like mutual masturbation kind of shit or he's in the closest watching you touch yourself while he's beating it. something about the thrill of it all gets him going, especially when he fucks you in places where you're definitely going to get caught if you don't stay quiet. the closet thing was an accident at first, he was in your room to ask you something but you weren't there and he started snooping a little too much, getting absolutely distracted that he almost barely heard you start to unlock your door. he hid in the closet, waiting for you to fall asleep but instead you started playing with yourself before you went to bed and that was the start of it all lmao AND you still don't know he keeps doing it.

quickies are jean's fucking passion, bro can fuck you in a short amount of time to make you both cum multiple times and he's a little too good at hiding the fact that the two of you just had sex from around the corner. slicking his hair back smugly while adjusting his clothes back to normal, watching your legs quiver and shake as both of your fluids drip down your thighs, it takes all his might not to fuck you once more.

pussy worshipping, he's definitely into that. he can spend hours knelt underneath you and eating you out, not caring whether his dick is begging for any sort of needed attention. i feel like out of all five of them rn, he has the number one spot of giving more to his partner than receiving it like he's absolutely locked in to please you (reiner is second bc i said so and it's totally not a biased choice 😈). even if you're crying from overstimulation, he's not gonna stop until he says he's finished eating you out.

domestication kink + forced feminization, even if you're the independent type who has a distaste for wearing skirts and dresses, he imagines there's a world where he could make you completely submissive and a dependent housewife. jean does things subtlety so he might slowly incorporate more feminine items in your routine or say something that may have you second-guess yourself, and without you even realizing, you're slowly becoming the woman he dreams of in his head. delusional king!

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LEVI

for levi, i think isayama said one time that levi's kinda subby or sumn like that so fuck yeah i'm gonna incorporate that in a bit.

knife kink ofc, his handiwork has always been surrounding these sharp pieces of metals so how could i not add this. it's not the threatening aspect that he's into, he already knows that you know that you're always going to below him. it's the fact that he can carve his name into your fragile skin whenever he wants and you can't do anything about it, and watching the small rivulets of blood seep through makes him absolutely feral even though he doesn't admit it. idk how to really describe it until i actually write it in a fic lol

levi's definitely into choking, especially because it gives him absolute control of when you're allowed to breathe, giving up something so important just for him. he never goes pass the line where you pass out because he wants to watch you cum while you're breathless, gasping for air as you clench around him in shudders. he's seen a lot of people get choked out to death, he's even done it a few times, but he likes seeing it done the most on you. especially because you struggle to beg for him to stop, scratch up his arms like a poor little kitty cat and wriggle around in fear. levi swears nothing looks so much prettier than that.

slapping and he's damn good at it. he's slapped your face a few times to get your attention back, but he loves slapping your ass. he hits hard enough to leave his handprints, keeping you sore for days that you can't lay down or sit down right. levi bends you over his lap if you're being a brat and SMACKS until you're sobbing for him to stop but even so, he keeps on going until he feels like the punishment is enough. for being a good girl and taking his punishment so generously, he'll finger you afterwards, running his lithe fingers in-between your clit and into your dripping hole. you may say you hate it, but your pussy is saying otherwise. if you slap him, you are not walking for a week LMFAO

okay now im gonna go into subby levi hehe sometimes he doesn't want to be the one in control because his job is all about control and demanding others, so he'll let you fuck him (with limitations as well). like he'll lay in your lap and let you jerk him off as he sucks on your tits, letting you decide if you want to edge him or overstimulate him. it's a little strange at first being able to control your captain like this but you get used to it, letting him thigh-fuck you but never letting him enter your sopping pussy. sometimes he gets so irritated by being denied so often that he'll break the deal off and start taking back the reins.

levi's a collar and leash man, something about tugging it to direct your attention and getting tugged gets him going. he likes the way his name glimmers in the name tag, how pathetic you look as he sharply pulls it to make you look at him. he usually will only put it on when he's the sub, letting you pull it towards your pussy so he can eat you out. he doesn't force you to act like a dog, it's just the ownership of you that he likes.

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ZEKE

cockwarming, cockwarming, cockwarming. this man loves to keep you plugged up whenever he's reading or smoking a few cigarettes outside. he usually cockwarms you when he wants another way for relaxing and what more than to sink into your warm and tight pussy. zeke's so fucking nonchalantly mean about it too. if you try moving off him or trying to finally cum, he smacks your thigh hard or pulls your hair back to look at him, taunting you about how you're being naughty and naughty girls don't get to cum. so he'll make you stay on him for another few hours or so, then cumming on your ass or stomach and sometimes never making you cum either as punishment.

ZEKE'S ALSO INTO BREEDING BUT LIKE A TWISTED VERSION OF IT, LET ME EXPLAIN. of course, it's canonically known that he doesn't like the reproduction of eldians and wanted the extinction of them through genetic neutering (which was fucking insane btw how he thought his plan would be able to be possible when it was eren's world to control is so funny to me 💀💀). so basically what i'm thinking is that he is so disgusted with the idea so much that he's into it. like the idea of cumming into you and filling your womb gets him so unreasonably hard and he doesn't really know himself why it does. it always happens when he sees you treating a kid so kindly that they may as well be yours and then he starts fantasizing about a homely, domestic life with you with yours and his kids running amok. he never goes through with it of course but he gets close a couple of times, so very very close.

idk ig he kinda gives wax-play vibes. seeing you blindfolded and pouring hot drips of wax on your skin or nipples, twitching in shock from the suddenness of the vague burn amuses him. sometimes he'll tie you up and leave a candle to drip all over you for a few hours and see how many times you cum over it.

zeke's definitely into humiliating you because why would you ever have any sort of pride when your place is in his bed and being his obedient fuck toy? like he makes you roleplay as his subservient maid, buying the skimpiest outfits ever in existence, taking away your underwear and making you wear a skirt that you have constantly tug down, literally anything that makes you feel shameful of yourself. but he reinforces you into liking it by praising you while he fucks you in those fits, talking about how pretty you look with your pussy out just for him and how his stupid little maid is so good at pleasing him.