#thats some extra extra bullshit

[xysidhequeen]

Okay so I finally finished writing the next part for the Red Knight series. Sorry I've been literally bed bound because I've been so ill. But! It's 10k words because of course it is why not. I'll have it uploaded soonish. My poor hands need a break. But wanted to let everyone know it's coming!

[climbdraws]

another day of playing russian roulette with my local coffee shop to see if they make my drink right for $7

[soldier-poet-king]

Hell this is hell I'm in HELL

Literally the only thing 16 months of full-time work in my field has taught me is that I'm actually talented and have a natural apptitude for the profession, which comes with no small degree of pride and is fueling my benevolent information management dictator desires, and also competence is the sexiest thing on the planet it's a shame LITERALLY NO ONE ELSE HAS ANY

[wabblebees]

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[taminogenvy]

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[maybe-we]

yesterday was so chill. today m fuckin struggling

[arg0t]

like even my irl buddies who have historically been super on the ball w correctly gendering me have been treating the current haircut like a detransition

[c4n1d43cup1d]

Some hogcanons. notes (me rambling) under the cut

So silver was the reason i wanted to make this in the first place despite him looking the most on model (not entirely obviously, but i don't have many hcs for him). Mostly i wanted to draw his height compared to the other hedgehogs since him being freakishly tall despite being younger than sonic and shadow is funny. I saw someone say hes probably the most conventionally attractive hedgehog and i think that's true, hes a pretty boy and his fur/quills are really sleek and well maintained. The fluff on his chest is less spikey and more fluffy looking plus i put some fluff in his ears as well. I think his paws and nails are black and he doesn't wear eyeliner his lashes are just really long and hes got black markings on his eyes. Coming back to this after writing Amy's desc but i think hes genderqueer in some way idk maybe bigender i need to study him under a microscope some more every character i touch becomes transgender

Sonic has a few more added details, i like giving him a little nick in his ear and top surgery scars because that hog is trans. I haven't really seen many people give him stylized top surgery scars surprisingly, i tried to make his look kind of lightning bolty because uh something about him being fast. idk man. i think i imagined its similar to what itd look like for him to run in a zigzag? whatever i think it looks cool. I think his claws are kind of uneven and he doesn't really care too much about how they look especially since he just has them under gloves most of the time

Amy is fat because i said so, also i gave her wavier quills and heart markings everywhere. Her ears might look a little strange since it like implies her skin is making that heart shape but i imagine thats her fur spiking into the point. Her nails are painted the same red that shadows markings and stuff are mostly because i think them being besties is cute like. i see shadamy as a queer platonic relationship. Theyve always been my favorites im going to to make them as close as i want. Anyway, i think she and sonic are tied for having the shortest ears, and hers are the rounest (might make them even rounder the next time i draw her) also not entirely related to her design but i think shes transfem and genderfluid.

Shadow my son. im taking custody from black doom and gerald. anyway, i have the most headcanons for him because he is my absolute favorite guy ever he rots my brain. I think he and Amy are the same height, his rocket shoes are like platform/heels and so when he has them on he looks like Sonic's height or maybe a teeny tiny bit taller. I give his quills extra little spikes for no reason other than i think its cute, i could bullshit that its a black arms thing but idrc. What are black arms things though are his eyes and claws, his scelera is a more yellow compared to everyone elses (jaundiced as my friend put it. thanks endy) and i didn't draw it but his pupils are slits. Claws are long but are even longer when all the way out (retractable) his gloves are thick enough that he doesn't pierce them but he probably has a few spare pairs. Also not pictured but black arms related: his teeth are fucking razors, larger than the other hedgehogs and also serrated because i think thats cool. his tail is the longest out of all of them though i think it used to be longer but was lopped off in the name of science and never properly grew back. also his inhibitor rings are connected to a sort of device that does the task of being a proper gateway between his internal energy and the rings themselves, i didn't draw them but essentially its like a smaller ring that is embedded into his wrists i think. also hes trans but in a sort of alien way, i think the black arms can do the clownfish genderswap thing and shadow has it to a somewhat lesser degree its like an internal tshot i guess idfk

ok yeah thats all if u made it to the end thanks for reading the ramblings of a mad man

[woncherie]

anon asked: Ok but imagine the strawhat pirates trying to prepare luffy for his first date

genre: fluff, gender neutral reader

im currenrly reposting a few old stories i wrote some time ago from my old blog!! REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!

the strawhat pirates preparing luffy for his first date:

Ok so first things first every single member probably thinks you are nuts for agreeing to go out with their captain, but when they saw how happy you and Luffy were when you agreed to spend some time together they just couldnt help but smile, trying their best since they know how dense their captain can be.

After Sanji finally calmed down and stopped crying because Luffy got a date and he didnt, he and Nami are willing to teach him how to fucking eat like a normal person (in case you are going out to eat) because the way Luffy just crams a bunch of food into his mouth is not quite pleasant, no matter if its in front of his crush or in front of them.

But lets be realistic, after one and a half hours both of them would just give up because there is no way Luffy will use a fork or spoon correctly.

Usopp is the one responsible for taking care that Luffy showers properly, even if it means he has to get into that damn shower by himself and scrub his whole body. I think its no secret that Luffy barely showers, because... water? and Luffy? Nope, not gonna happen.

Robin and Zoro are not really interfering, just watching the whole rigmalore in front of them and smiling to themselves. They both think there is no need to change the way their captain behaves since you agreed to go out with the huge dork, not with a forced gentlemen, but instead of calming them down they both just watch the whole crew make a fuss. Its kinda like Luffys friends are more excited about the date then he is.

Franky is already searching for the fake mustaches they wore at dressrosa in order to follow you discreetly, thinking that this will truely disguise them. Plot twist: It doesnt.

Brook and Chopper are trying to convince him to change in some more appropriate clothes, but there is no way Luffy would change. He is comfortable in what he is wearing and he probably doesnt even own anything different than his colored shirts and blue shorts.

At the end of the day every one of his crew members got exhausted because there is no freaking way their captain will change and will become a gentlemen in less then half a day. Thats probably when Robin finally speaks up and calms everyone down.

You are probably in your own room, not noticing how the other members harassed Luffy the whole evening over, just trying to get ready by yourself, already excited to explore the new island you landed on some hours earlier with Luffy. At some point Nami even barges into the room, looking quite exhausted, asking if you are 1000% sure to go out with the gummy boy. And you are just like... Yes?? You are sure. At least you think you are lol.

Nami is giving Luffy some extra money to spend on the island - which is a very very bad idea actually since he will lose it in no matter of time or spend it on complete bullshit. Thats probably the reason why she also gave you a bit more money than usually, knowing that Luffy will throw it out of the window and you have to pay for him, but you dont mind at all.

Five minutes after you both left the ship to go explore the island, Franky showed up with the beards and hats in order to follow you and take care that everything is going smoothly. But no way would Robin let them leave the ship, no matter how much they begged or tried to convince her. She would even use her devil fruit powers in order to keep the other strawhat pirates on their ship. She just wants to respect your and Luffys privacy.

No one of them knows how the date was. They just sat on the Sunny all day, wondering about all the scenarios that could happen.

After some hours they finally hear your and Luffys voices again, even though its just a muffled dialogue since you are currently talking in front of the ship instead of climbing up. Even Zoro became curious on how it went, every single one of them looking down and trying to peek on both of you, reading your faces. The only thing they saw though was how you gave Luffy a big smooch on his red cheeks, and him showing you the biggest gummismile he has, giggling slightly. Even you could tell how the tense atmosphere upstairs left immediately, everyone smiling down on both of you, happy it went well.

☆☆☆

i hope you liked it aaaa english is not my first language so it may be a bit hard to read,, i hope you still enjoyed this small fic <3

[fuck-customers]

Not exactly a fuck customers but more like ‘what the fuck, why are people like this’.

I work at a small library in my little town. Small as in, there are only five people who work here total. So you can probably guess, our building is much smaller than most libraries. We do have an auditorium though, one that takes up like 30% of the building. It can be rented and is used for library programs, but when it’s not being used, the lights are turned off and the two entrances have signs that say that ‘for library use only’ or some such thing, meaning, if there’s nobody in there and the doors are closed, lights are off, it’s off limits to patrons. Makes sense, right?

So the other day, I go in for my afternoon shift as usual. It’s after the holiday so there are a lot of returns. My supervisor goes to grab an extra cart so we can divide up the returns, otherwise I’d never get it done all by myself by we closed. She has to go into the auditorium to get the extra cart, which is locked from the side with the actual library but the other door, which is right by our side exist, must have been open. Anyway, she goes in and while I’m digging through books waiting for her, I hear some sort of conversation/noise but don’t think much of it. About this time I notice a patron come and set up with his laptop at one of work tables and put on his headphones. Our other coworker is on his dinner break and again, I don’t think much of any of this.

Anyway, it gets to be around an hour/half an hour ish before we start closing duties and it’s been slow except for a few people coming and going. During this time we sometimes bullshit while we wait for the clock to run down.

My supervisor notes that the man that was sitting at the work table has finally left and then glances at the security monitor, noting the car that was parked next to mine in the employee parking area of our back lot is now gone.

Come to find out, not only was said guy here right at opening, parked halfway into the employee parking area when that’s a total of like three spots (he’s also not someone she recognized when she’s been there 5+ years), apparently this guy was just chilling in the dark fucking auditorium all day? On his laptop, working away? When we’d been open since 10:30 am and he left at like 7pm? Thats what all the noise I had heard earlier was about. She opened the door to the auditorium to get the extra cart we needed, and just causally found this fucker sitting there, doing his thing? She literally had to say to tell him he was welcome to work online just not in here cause that’s not an area open to the public? I think he apologized but still??? He wouldn’t have even been able to access the wifi without the password. But he was just sitting in there the whole goddamn day. Without anyone knowing. And then it gets dark and he doesn’t even have any of the lights on. There’s signs on both doors about this at eye level? Hun, we couldn’t locked you in and never even known it. The side door is locked 15 mins before close and the other doors can’t be opened from the inside.

I love this job, but some of these people I wanna put under a microscope and study for science.

Posted by admin Rodney.

[kairitai]

❤ TAMAKI AMAJIKI WITH AN S/O WHO DOES WITCHCRAFT ❤

I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR WEEKS AND I HAVE BEEN LOSING SLEEP OVER IT AND I NEED AN OUTLET OTHER THAN BITING MY PLUSHES TY. warnings: Witchcraft, other than that its really just a silly little thing i wrote :))

Tamaki, I'd imagine, is a septic and at first thinks all of this is bullshit.

He one day finds you in the dorm kitchen; angrily scribbling on a bay leaf, burn it and throw it out the window grumbling on how it's been "too long since the dorm wi-fi went out".

Seeing you stomp over to the couch to pull your phone out to excitedly scream "ITS BACK" has him blink for a few seconds.

When Tamaki enters your room for the first time, he's so confused as to why there are so many shiny rocks and candles everywhere. He just assumes you really like rocks and scented candles.

There was this one time you gave him an anti-anxiety spell jar before his presentation, he genuinely thought you gave him a herbal tea blend. It took a few tries to explain what it was meant for to him.

Tamaki wouldn't understand at first why a tiny bottle filled to the rim would help him calm down but accepts it anyway to not upset you.

Post presentation, he's looking at the bottle quizzically. How did he not even manage to slip up once? how did he fight the urge to smash is head against the wall that was right there? was it the jar? no, it was a coincidence, it had to be. right?

He'd just keep looking at it in complete awe and confusion until you show up and tap him out of his train of thought, he just looks at you and the bottle back and forth, wide eyed.

Thats when you tell him you're a witch and doing witchcraft just makes things easier for you, he would be pretty mesmerised by the concept of it.

He'd be asking all sort of questions, if it actually worked, if the leaf you burned was a spell, CAN YOU SEE INTO THE FUTURE?

"THEORETICALLY, i could make Avada Kedavra a thing." "Please don't."

Deffo would ask for hand readings as an excuse to feel you hold his hands.

I feel like he would adore having little tarot readings done, you'd even teach him some basics! his favourite would definitely be the pendulum.

"Y/N, , I nauseous...can't think straight..." "Oh i got a spell for that :)" 👏on👏a👏daily👏basis👏

He would be obsessed with making sigils for himself and you, draws them on your hand and kisses it to activate it :((

He would be so grateful if you gave him a protection spell bottle for his missions, he'd try to return the favour by making one for you but it's just filled with rosemary bc he didn't have the herbs to use 💀 You're not even sure if he cleansed it, bless his soul.

Would go feral once he found out one-word spells were a thing, would whisper them before kissing your cheek for an extra boost of whatever you needed, whether it be good luck or a good nights sleep.

He would hear you talk abt witch stuffs for HOURS on end, the whole evening would have gone by and he'd just be listening lovingly. The spells you tell him stick better than the ones he would find online.

Date nights while making moon water and watching Hocus Pocus?? Yes please??

SPELL RECIPIES BRAINSTORMING WHILE SNUGGLING SPELL RECIPIES BRAINSTORMING WHILE SNUGGLIN SPELL RECIPIES BRAINSTORMING WHILE SNUGGLIN-

You once made him a spray which you affectionately labelled "Bullshit Repellent", he was not above spraying it at people who pissed him off that day. A glorious sight seeing him spray magick water at assholes.

"I saw the moon exploded in my dream. Is that a sign?" "No not really, sometimes a stick is just a stick Tami. But i could give you something to prevent nightmares if you want?" "Yes please"

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THE GODS GIVE HIM PLUSHIES ENCHANTED WITH SLEEP SIGILS HE WILL ADORE YOU FOR IT.

You guys would laugh at overly religious people who claim witched kiss the devil's anus to gain magickal knowledge.

Tamaki wouldn't DARE fuck around with spirits, and if you do decide to contact one for your spells he's just there with a big ass bag of salt ready to throw it at the spirit. It would probably piss the spirit off so you had to refrain the boy from chucking it when you made a concerned face.

kjhgfd this was so fun to make, this was just purely self-indulgent :)) PLEASE DO NOT REPOST MY WORK, REBLOGS ARE APRECIATED ♥

[do-i-look-like-a-doctor]

okay but the Naruto universe is so fucking weird yet funny if you explain it and question it.

first, you have this lil orphan broke kid ninja boy named after a fishroll. then, you have an emo kid who acts like he got parents and a good way in life despite the fact he’s equally as much of an orphan as Mr. Broke-Blonde-Bitch. THEN you have this normal chick with pink hair who signed up for absolutely none of this nonsense yet got dragged into it. tell me why it’s these three against the world yet none of them can function together? it’s like watching ferrets hyped up on PCP fight over raw spaghetti noodles. dont even get me started when they were in school together, i can bet every person here 6 cents that at some point Sakura aka Ms. Fuckall got tired of Naruto and Sasuke’s bullshit and just tried to abandon them at an animal shelter.

speaking of school and general tomfoolery, why was the dude in charge of these three young squishy brained freaks the most depressed 20 something year old creature on the planet? i will admit, Kakashi is attractive and a great dude. he is so iconic, he misses his old team, and it’s clear he wanted best for his Group of Weird Children but he also reads porn all day and his mask probs smells like cheap aftershave.

if i was a 13 year old ninja child and i saw my sensai (who’s name sounds like cashew) doing all that i’d assume im either about to learn a sick ass skill (how to not cope with emotional trauma properly) or im about to get my ass handed to me. or im about to dropout.

back on track. so you’ve got orphan #1, orphan #2, Ms. Get-Me-Out-Of-Here, and Emotionally Repressed Man in one team. what do the kids do? beef for like 3048384 episodes. what does Kakashi do? try to teach them the power of friendship the entire damn series. oh, and let’s not forget that Naruto apparently has a demon fox inside him because of course he does.

anyways, once the team gets good at teaming they haul off to take their lil ninja exams. who do they meet? some kid named Gaara with smudged eyeliner and shaved brows. he’s a red-head, that’s cute. oh and he can control sand and tries to kill every child in the exams because his dad is a piece of shit hipster. who else do they meet? a kid named Rock Lee who can kick really hard, a girl named Tenten who wishes for all of us to stfu, and poor Neji who can’t keep doing this. there’s also some guy named Guy. yeah, the chunin exams nearly flop because Gaara doesn’t know how to act right.

all this is happening but the pivotal of it all? Sasuke decides to be extra emo and FUCKS OFF TO KILL HIS HALF BLIND SICKLY OLDER TWINK BROTHER.

then, Naruto decides he wants to harness his powers and FUCKS OFF WITH AN OLD ASS BUSHY HAIRED MAN WHO WRITES PORN. Jiraiya needs to be studied on a microscopic spiritual level. he is why SCP’s exist.

who let these kids out? i told you all not to feed the animals and look what happened. now theres beef between a group of kids and the akatsuki.

oh and the akatsuki?? don’t get me started. wtf is that. why is this group of fucked up people with weird powers who are being led by a ginger hive mind of corpses just wandering around? and why is Weasel, aka Itachi, in the middle of it with his goofy explosive hypnotic eyeballs? i want them all put down.

so you’ve got the evil eldirch horrors in the streets. thats fine. Naruto gets put into a new gang cuz Kakashi has to hospitalized. cool, whatever. Naruto decides to start hutning down his rogue boyfriend alongside Sakura, who became a sickass ninja doctor, along with his new sensei Yamato. wonderful… THEN SOME BITCH NAMED SAI SHOWS UP.

DO NOT GET ME STARTED.

what is that? why is it emo? why is its tongue tattooed? put it back outside bro i stg. i love him so much.

everything is just everywhere in this anime bro I can’t. Sasuke is no where to be seen, Naruto is doing fuckall across the world with his groupie, Kakashi is lowkey sad again cuz his kids are gone, and Sakura can barely breathe without issues occurring.

not just that but the twink brother named Weasel is being stupid and enables his own murder. yeah he basically wants Sasuke to come for his ass. meanwhile, Naruto comes home bigger, better, older but still broke and full of fox demon. still, not a single soul except his friends and teachers like him. shit gets even more wild, it becomes knock-off Cheetah Girls vs. The World.

girl i gotta go before i hurt someone. see yall in part 2.

(all of this is heavily unedited, apologies for mistakes)

[tipsyleaf]

RESPONDING TO YOUR LAST POST!!

HELLO YES, THATS TOTALLY CHRIS AND HIS WIFE. That is literally exactly what I pictured. 🥹 His wife always gave off short vibes (Short girlies rise up! 💔) and Chris was the tall scary bear. And the way he’d hold her hand…😣😣😣

Maybe they’d be out on a date in a fancy restaurant, she’s just be talking about some random topic that suddenly came up. He’d gently grab her hand, play around with the big rock on her finger, maybe even gently massage her little hand.

His wife would definitely hold him by the pinky. Dragging him around fancy shops and what not, and he just had to endure it. I feel like their size difference is so cute…AND THE CAT VIDEO? That one made me giggle. I feel like Chris is almost scared of her sometimes, she could become an angry mama bear in just a few seconds. So of course he’d always do and give her whatever she wanted, she was small but feisty.

- Anon! 🎀

Oh no Chris is definitely a little scared of his wife. She gives "tiny but will break your neck" energy and not scared to call people out on their bullshit. The only people who get spared are children because even she's not that mean.

Chris would definitely be carrying every shopping bag while they're out and it's not because his wife asks he just does it because he doesn't want her carrying any valuables. You never know what could happen.

Date night is a blessing with Chris. He always makes a massive fuss when taking his wife out he's always being extra.

He'd listen to his wife talk about nothing for hours over a fancy dinner if it meant just hearing her voice. Def hold her hand over the table, kiss the back of it when she's lost in thought, give her compliments on her new manicure he paid for and even stare at the massive rock he put on her finger. Happy she's his in everyway possible.

He just loves his wife so much 🩷🩷

[fierrochaseist4t]

do you have any ghostbat hcs that you can grace me with <3??

OH BOY DO I!!! some these are brutaliakhoa but most are ghostbat ☝

khoa isn't a huge cuddler in general but he knows when bruce gets overstimulated he just likes to be squeezed bc it helps him self regulate, autistic bruce ftw 💪

bruce doesn't introduce khoa to the kids. khoa just runs into them on patrol or around town and can tell bc they all act like him whether it's very obvious or not

khoa immediately clocks damian as talia's kid bc he looks just like her but acts mostly like bruce, he finds it endearing

damian cass and dick are khoa's favorite kids

khoa isn't the "step dad" or even weird uncle, he's just "dad's bf" to everybody. except damian and jason, they always refer to him as "mom and dad's bf"

khoa is really big on presents. he finds them kinda redundant bc anything he can buy bruce, bruce can already buy for himself but he knows that he and bruce are both very terrible with words to express things, and khoa already lacking certain emotions has an especially hard time, so he buys little things like bruce's favorite take out or a lil chocolate bar every now and again as a token of appreciation

they play wrestle literally all the time. they say its "training" but everybody calls bullshit

duke was actually one of the first bat kids to meet khoa and it was by complete accident

on the rare occasion that talia, bruce, and khoa are all together khoa and talia take it upon themselves to embarrass the fuck out of bruce by telling the kids stories about him when he was younger

khoa will sometimes just attack him with swords to test brucs's reflexes, it's especially funny when bruce Also has swords on hand

khoa likes to drag bruce to the archery range every now and again because bruce always forgets he's a trained archer and khoa won't let those skills become dull

khoa likes to steal the batmobile when bruce leaves it unattended, one time a little 12 y/o damian was in the backseat and simply didn't question it

in return bruce vandalizes khoa's dinosaur

khoa will sometimes leave little gifts for the kids in the cave like damian with some extra treats for his pets or a gift card to a skate shop for tim and bruce loves it because he can tell the little gestures mean a lot to the kids

ra's initially thought khoa and bruce were a thing when they were with the league of assassins and was always confused as to why his daughter was going on dates with 2 clearly gay men 💀 bi4bi4bi brutaliakhoa my loves

khoa gets along pretty well with selina and even when selina and bruce inevitably break up again khoa keeps seeing her because he enjoys her sense of humor

THATS ALL OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD BUT LMK IF YOU WANT MORE

[analoghorrorexplained]

I feel like I must do this every few months but here we are.

YOU SHOULD NOT BE CONSUMING ANALOG HORROR, UNFICTION, OR MOST TYPES OF INTERNET HORROR CONTENT IF YOU ARE A CHILD OR HAVE A MENTAL CONDITION THAT MAKES IT HARD TO DECERN REALITY FROM FICTION.

No, you are not mature for doing it.

No, you are not immune from being triggered by the content you watch, no matter how often you expose yourself to graphic, violent, or sexual material.

Yes, the content can make whatever condition you have worse and be bad for your mental health.

No, creators should not have to make their series more "minor" friendly or toned down to accomidate for people easily triggered by horror/the subject of the series.

No, minors should not be in these spaces at all.

No, I am not gatekeeping by saying this.

There is a profound difference between calling out series and their creators for their haphazard and lazy use of shocking subjects such as child abuse, sexual abuse, etc for the sake of "oooo scary" and setting the boundary that keeps mature genres for mature audiences and draws a concrete line beween fiction and reality. If you are a child (this is even more true if you are 15 or younger) you should not be regularly consuming this type of content at all. The "I turned out fine" excuse is absolutley bullshit. I know many of us older folks who were the first to grow up with the internet were also kind of left to run wild, but that does not mean we did either. This isnt some race to be mature and we do not need to keep encouraging and welcoming kids into spaces where they should not be.

The same thing goes for people who suffer from conditions that cause delusions, psychosis, hallucinations, etc.

You should generally not be consuming content that triggers your illness or that is greatly distressing to you. This isnt to say mentally ill people cant consume this content at all and enjoy it; but the defining word here is "enjoy". You are not enjoying something if it begins to consume your life and manifests as part of your condition. You are not enjoying something if you are in actual fear for your life or think things are out to get you. You are not enjoying something if it takes you back to a very dark place. Analog horror, unfiction, and other forms of horror are no different than the movies you see at the theater or TV. The thing that makes them extra "potent" is the fact that 3rd person prospective is removed. That line between viewer and character is removed. Its easy to get sucked up in that if you are already struggling.

Sometimes things are just not made for you. And thats fine. They might be for you in the future but not now. Maybe not even ever. But forcing it and warping your sense of personhood and reality isnt how you cope with that.