#these parts keep progressively getting longer and idk what to do with these boys

[xysidhequeen]

Okay so I finally finished writing the next part for the Red Knight series. Sorry I've been literally bed bound because I've been so ill. But! It's 10k words because of course it is why not. I'll have it uploaded soonish. My poor hands need a break. But wanted to let everyone know it's coming!

[rafesapologist]

the set up — rafe cameron; part ten

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: you've been one of the pogues since childhood, and your loyalty has always lied within your friend group, who is practically your family. when a threat by the name of rafe cameron begins to threaten the pogue's plans, they assign you to gain the trust of the dubious kook and keep an eye on what he's up to. however, now it's been six months since your friends set you up to spy on the kook prince himself, but what you didn't anticipate was to fall head over heels for the boy. your relationship had soon become inviolable shortly after your guys' first exchanges, much to your friends' dismay, and you two became practically inseperable. that was, until rafe discovers the truth.

warnings: angst, sad rafe, idk i might be forgetting something

author's note: this chapter is both long and not entirely proof read so bear with me lol. i also wrote this at like 4 am so please. anyways, i want to start making the chapters a bit longer for you guys since i've been away for so long. enjoy!

"Y/n, what's wrong? What's going on?" You could feel Rafe's tangible consternation right through the phone. Your chest felt like it was caving in, accompanied by the growing, nausea-inducing pit in your stomach formulated from your feelings of guilt. The way his typically baritone voice was strained and quiet, presumably from the unexpected "emergency"phone call you had presented him with.

"I-I got into a huge fight with JJ," you fibbed with the help of the crack in your voice and a sorrowing tone that could only make Rafe crumble right in your hands, "it's a long story, but I need to get out of here. I can't be in this place any longer, Rafe." You fraudulently sobbed.

"Okay, okay.. Just breathe, yeah? I can come and get you in a second I just really have to finish this thing with my dad fir-"

"Rafe, please. I need you now." You pleaded as though your life depended on it, which in a way, it did. You realized that had your attempt to lure Rafe into your arms failed, your friends would be in a heap of danger.

An audible sigh was heard from the other sign of the phone, along with muffled chatter that you assumed was Rafe and Ward talking. The conversation, or what you heard of it, sounded like back-and-forth bickering for the most part, which caused a wave of anxiety to wash over you as you began to pick at your nails. Seconds felt like hours as you waited to hear Rafe's voice again on the other side, but it sounded as though the conversation continued. You stayed on the other side of the line in complete silence, not wanting to interrupt the matter, but the longer it took your nerves ensued.

"I'm on my way." Rafe suddenly responded, taking you off guard after not hearing him address you within a period of time.

"Thank you." You whispered, a small smile of satisfaction present on your face at what you had managed to accomplish. Perhaps Rafe was more infatuated than you imagined, you thought.

*NEW MESSAGE FROM Y/N to KIARA CARRERA: done.*

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Time passed by quickly whilst you waited for Rafe's arrival. You paced the living room back and forth a few times, wondering how you were going to pull off such a stunt despite the pit in your stomach growing and your hands trembling with unease. Your mind became your worst enemy as you thought through everything that could go wrong as you anxiously waited for the time to come, replaying every bad scenario through your head over and over again - until you were practically sick.

Your pessimistic thoughts were cut to a halt by a loud knock at the door, one that sounded more like someone was pounding on the other side. The noise made your body jump as you immediately turned a heel towards the door. You approached hesitantly, trying to kill as much time as possible before you'd open the door, but as time progressed the knocking became quicker and louder thuds that raddled the chateau.

"Y/n. Are you hurt? Did he do something to you cause I'll kick that son of a bitch to a pul-"

"No, Rafe, I'm not hurt. Not physically, at least." You shook your head, forcing out your voice in the most pathetic tone you could possible mimic. Rafe frowned in response as he noticed the way your head hung low and eyes stayed glued to the ground.

"What did he say to you?" Rafe softly asked, approaching you with caution and ease as he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, causing a familiar sense of butterflies to errupt and flutter around in your stomach.

"He just brought up a bunch of stuff about my family and called me a traitor for spending time with you. For being with you, basically." Your vision became blurry as tears clouded your view, unsure of how they got there, but you mentally applauded yourself for such a performance.

"I'm so sorry, y/n. C'mere." Rafe cooed sympathetically as he pulled you into his arms tightly, possibly the tightest embrace you've felt in your life, but in a sense it felt good to be held like that. Like nothing in the world could hurt you while you were wrapped up in Rafe Cameron's arms, as insane as it sounded to you.

Your body relaxed in his arms, eyes closing as you soaked up every bit of his warmth. You nearly hummed in such delight before stopping yourself, not wanting to feed into Rafe's ego more than you already were just by calling him over for help. But it did feel nice, a feeling that came as a shock to you.

"I wanna get out of here, Rafe. Please." You sniffled, looking up at the brooding figure with those sad puppy-dog eyes that could make any man melt in your hands.

"Of course. Do you want to come back to my place? You can spend the night with me if you don't feel like going home."

You shook your head, "I don't wanna go home, especially not like this. Are you sure it's okay if I stay with you tonight?"

"Yeah, yeah 'course it is. Besides, my dad probably wont be back tonight and Rose and Wheezie are with him so I'll need the company. I'd prefer yours over theirs anyways." Rafe flashed you a small smile, hoping to diminish the frown that clouded your features as he rubbed your forearms gently.

You trailed behind Rafe on the walk to the car, watching as he held the door open and gestured your inside. You gave him a weak simper and a head nod as a symbolism of your gratitude at his sentiment. You'd be a liar if you said it didn't make your heart flutter at how caring and gentle he was being towards you, but you cursed yourself for the fact that it was all because of a lie.

"Y/n?" Rafe asked, snapping you out of your trance while you gazed out of the window.

"Yeah?"

"You aren't upset with me for earlier, are you?" He inquired, biting the inside of his cheek.

"No, why would I be?" You tilted your head, brows furrowed as you made eye contact with the blue-eyed Kook.

"I don't know. I guess I just thought you seemed a little dry when I was dropping you off earlier, s'all." Rafe coughed out, noticing how he scratched the back of his head as he spoke feebly.

"Oh, I see." You blinked, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come off that way. I've just been a little tired I guess."

"No, don't apologize. It's okay." He turned his head, taking his eyes off the road for a split second to reassure you with a thin-lipped smile. You observed as he clutched the steering wheel, veins ostensibly poking through along his arms and hands in a way that made your thighs clench together tightly. You gulped silently in an attempt to restrain yourself and regain composure - this was Rafe Cameron you were talking about. Yet on the other hand, despite his vainglorious ways and haughty sense-of-self, inhis eyes, a flicker of mischief dances amidst shadows, a daring tale waiting to unfold. He was the embodiment of defiance, a canvas of contradictions where danger and allure converge in captivating disarray. You found yourself ensnared by the gravity of his presence, a force that pulled your world into his magnetic orbit. You could keep reminding yourself to run away from him, but where would you go to hide? He was everywhere, from the depths of your mind, to every turning corner of Figure 8.

You made it back to the Cameron's residence before you knew it, perhaps too caught up in the thought of Rafe to realize what was happening around you. However, once the car came to a halt and your surroundings stopped moving, reality soon greeted you once again.

You hopped out of the car, following behind Rafe like a lost puppy who didn't know where it was. You felt out of place, and a bit on edge. You wondered if your friends were okay, praying that your decoy tactics were doing them good. The other half of your nerves came from the fact that you were doing something that went against your moral code, and challenged your ability to lie to the face of someone you.. Care about?

"Do you want anything to drink? Water, tea, a soda?" Rafe asked, making his way to the kitchen with you in close pursuit.

"I'm good." You passed off his offer with a half-hearted laugh and a weak smile. As you watched him, the ambient light of the fridge casted a soft glow on his silhouette. His movements were casual, effortless, as he navigated the contents in search of a drink. The way he tilted his head slightly, the lines of his profile against the cool light—it’s a fleeting portrait etched into your memory. You found yourself caught in the simplicity of the moment, the way his fingers grazed the chilled bottles, his easy familiarity with the space. There was something mesmerizing about the way he handled the mundane, turning the ordinary into a scene worth cherishing. It was as though time slowed, encapsulating this small interaction, making it feel like an eternity. A smile tugged at your lips as you observed, captivated by his presence. The faint hum of the fridge was a backdrop to the symphony of your thoughts, all centered around this magnetic figure before you. In that unguarded moment, as he stood there unaware, he became the focal point of your world, drawing you deeper into the allure of his ordinary yet enchanting actions.

"Didn't realize I had an audience," he chuckled, catching you watching him with an amused glint in his eye. There was a playful energy in his tone, a sense that he knew he had inadvertently drawn your attention.

Leaning casually against the kitchen counter, he exuded a relaxed confidence. "If watching me rummage through the fridge becomes a regular show, I might have to start selling tickets," he teased, trying to lighten the moment but also displaying a subtle curiosity about what had captured your interest. His ego slowly peaking through, as usual.

"Oh, absolutely riveting," you retorted, a hint of sarcasm lacing your words as you met his amused gaze. "Your fridge exploration was the highlight of my day, truly." Your lips curved into a wry smile, eyes dancing with playful mockery.

Rafe hesitated for a moment, the playful glint in his eyes softening as he met your gaze. "You know, watching you watch me... it's kind of different," he began, his voice a touch softer, a hint of vulnerability slipping through his usual ease.

"I mean, it's not every day someone looks at me like... well, like that," he admitted, the words stumbling out with a hint of uncertainty. His gaze briefly faltered, a struggle evident within him as if battling between speaking his mind and holding back.

But before he could continue, he stopped himself abruptly, a shadow of hesitation crossing his features. "Sorry, I didn't mean to make things weird. Forget I said anything," he deflected, a faint tinge of regret coloring his words as he tried to backtrack, a sudden unease settling over him.

As he hesitated, you caught the shift in his demeanor, a glimpse of something vulnerable beneath his usual confidence. "No, don't," you interjected softly, reaching out to gently touch his hand, your eyes imploring him to continue. "Please, whatever you were going to say... I want to hear it."

In that suspended moment of vulnerability, he gathered the courage to speak what had been on his mind for far too long. "I... I've always felt something different around you," he confessed, his voice softer than a whisper, carrying the weight of unspoken emotions.

"It's not just the way you look at me, but... how you make me feel," he continued, his gaze locking with yours, each word chosen with care, as if he was navigating uncharted territory. "There's this warmth, this comfort that settles in whenever you're near." He paused, the air thick with anticipation, his heart pounding against the cage of his chest. He struggled to find the right words to express the depth of what he felt, a mixture of fear and longing flickering in his eyes.

But as the moment hung between them, poised on the edge of revelation, he stopped himself once more, the weight of his unspoken feelings heavy upon him. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything," he murmured, a flicker of uncertainty clouding his features as he withdrew, fearing he might have crossed a line.

You were stunned, his words piercing through the air, carrying a weight you hadn't expected. Your heart fluttered in response, a mix of surprise and a tinge of something deeper stirring within you.

"I never realized," you breathed out, your voice trembling slightly, trying to make sense of the emotions swirling inside. His confession had caught you off guard, unraveling a part of your own feelings you hadn't fully acknowledged.

"There's always been this... something," you confessed, your words coming out in a rush, a newfound realization taking hold. "A connection, a pull towards you that I couldn't quite define."

Yet, before you could explore this uncharted territory further, you sensed his hesitation, his retreat from the vulnerable moment you had both stepped into. The abruptness left you reeling, an unspoken ache lingering in the charged air between you.

"I didn't mean to make it awkward," you murmured, regret coloring your tone as you witnessed his uncertainty. The unspoken sentiments hung heavy, a silent conversation begging to be continued, the depth of emotions left unexplored.

In the hush of that moment, you found yourselves locked in a silent exchange. His gaze, an ocean of depths, met yours with an unwavering intensity, drawing you in like a force. You perched on the kitchen counter, feeling the cool surface beneath you, as he closed the distance, a dance of proximity that felt almost orchestrated by fate.

Closer, step by deliberate step, until the air crackled with an unspoken tension. Rafe's presence enveloped you, a shield from the outside world, as if the space around you had collapsed into a world of its own. You felt his warmth seep through the inches that separated you, a silent harmony of shared breaths.

In that suspended moment, time seemed to stand still. Your breaths mingled, creating a delicate rhythm of anticipation. His hand moved with a tenderness that spoke volumes, gently enclosing you within the confines of that intimate space.

And as his closeness eclipsed the distance between you, your eyes locked in a silent conversation, saying things that mere words couldn't articulate. The world outside faded into insignificance as the universe shrank to just the two of you, suspended in a timeless embrace of unspoken longing.

Your breath hitched, Rafe's minty-breath fanning over your skin as his lips lingered a few inches from your face. You felt a flutter in your chest as his eyes bore into yours, each glance a revelation, unraveling layers of unspoken emotions. In the depth of his stare, you sensed a vulnerability, a longing that mirrored your own.

Before you had time to think, his lips connected with yours, passionately but with a delicacy that made it seem like if he pushed too far, you would break. You took in his affection, pulling him in by the back of his neck as he hungrily devoured the cherry lip balm off of your glossy lips. Rafe kept the pace slow, but his movements were eager and greedy for more of you. His large hands trailing up your open thighs, stopping at your hips as he gripped them and squeezed at them lightly.

You moaned into his mouth as you longed for more of him, a testimate you figured you'd regret doing later, but in that moment, you needed him, and he knew it.

Rafe responded with a smirk against your lips, letting out a deep, low chuckle from the bottom of his throat that sent tingles down your spine. You arched your body towards his, caving into his touch and practically begging for more. You weren't exactly sure why you were so taken over by such feeling of lust, but you wouldn't dare brush it off.

"God, I love you." Rafe groaned, murmuring his words against your neck yet they came out plain as day. Your eyes, previously shut as you took in the bliss of what you were experiencing, now shot wide open and you stared ahead.

"You.. What?" You stammered on your words as your throat seemingly went dry.

In the wake of his sudden admission, you were left speechless, the air heavy with the unexpected weight of his confession. His words lingered in the space between you, a revelation that seemed to have shifted the very ground beneath your feet.

You looked at him, shock etched in your features, mirrored in the stunned expression on his face. In that suspended moment, an unspoken understanding passed between you, a shared astonishment at the sudden revelation.

Time seemed to halt, the air thick with a mix of emotions, leaving you both stranded in an uncomfortable silence. His confession hung in the air, and you found yourself grappling with a whirlwind of thoughts and feelings, trying to comprehend the sudden turn of events.

The shock of his abrupt admission left you reeling, unsure of how to respond, as if the ground beneath your feet had shifted. The air crackled with a charged tension, a profound moment that had unexpectedly unfolded between you, leaving you both standing at the precipice of an uncertain new chapter.

"Y/n-I... It was the heat of the moment." He was lying right through his teeth.

"Rafe you don't say those things because of 'the heat of the moment'." You stated, face still covered in shock.

"I know, I know," he replied, his voice tinged with a mix of regret and sincerity, attempting to backpedal. "But sometimes... things just spill out, you know?"

You looked at him, your expression a mix of disbelief and uncertainty, the shock still painted across your features. "You don't say those things because of 'the heat of the moment'," you stated firmly, your voice carrying a weight of conviction.

He met your gaze, his eyes searching for a lifeline in the tumultuous sea of emotions. "I guess... I might have gotten carried away," he admitted, a hint of remorse coloring his words. "But that doesn't mean I don't mean it, Y/n."

His attempt to retract his words faltered in the face of your unwavering response, leaving an uncomfortable tension hanging between you, the unspoken truth lingering in the air, too palpable to be ignored.

"I messed up, saying it like that," Rafe sighed, a hint of frustration creeping into his tone as he struggled to express himself. "But the truth is, I've been feeling this way for a while now."

You watched him, the shock slowly morphing into a mix of confusion and a glimmer of curiosity. "Rafe, why now? Why like this?" you questioned, seeking clarity in the whirlwind of emotions that engulfed both of you.

He hesitated, searching for the right words, a turbulent storm brewing in his thoughts. "I didn't plan it, it just happened," he confessed, a sense of urgency in his voice. "But... being around you, it's like discovering something I didn't know I needed. And I don't want to pretend otherwise."

The vulnerability in his admission hung in the air, an unspoken plea for understanding and a hint of desperation to convey what he truly felt. The intensity of the moment lingered, a raw and unfiltered exchange leaving you both exposed, suspended in a realm of unresolved emotions.

The sudden confession left you reeling, a storm of conflicting thoughts raging within. His words echoed in your mind, but beneath the shock, a sense of unease crept in. You couldn't ignore the inconvenient truth—you had approached him under false pretenses, a lie woven into the fabric of your interactions.

As his feelings spilled out, you couldn't shake the feeling that this wasn't the right time. Guilt tugged at your conscience, reminding you that your connection with him was built on a shaky foundation. How could you entertain the possibility of reciprocating his feelings when the truth had been veiled behind a facade?

His sincerity clashed with the dishonesty looming over your encounters. The weight of regret settled heavy on your shoulders, wishing for an alternate reality where honesty could pave the way for genuine emotions to blossom.

Amidst the tumult of emotions, you grappled with the turmoil of regret, longing for a different circumstance where the truth could guide the course of your connection with him.

"Rafe.. you don't know what you're saying." You shook your head, voice quiet as your head hung low while guilt proceeded you.

"But I know how I feel, Y/n."

He watched you, a sense of helplessness clouding his features as he realized the weight of his confession. "I get it if this is too much, too soon," he murmured, a mix of sincerity and a hint of pleading in his voice. "I just needed you to know."

There was a pang of regret in his chest, knowing that his impulsive admission might have pushed things too far, too quickly. He hoped for understanding, for a chance to rectify the situation, but the gravity of his words hung heavy in the air, leaving an uncertain tension between you both.

"Rafe, please.. Don't do this." You continued shaking your head at him, your body deterring his words away from you.

Rafe’s expression softened, his eyes reflecting a mix of remorse and a longing to make things right. "I didn't mean to make things complicated," he said, his voice laced with regret as he recognized the distress in your plea.

"I'll back off, I promise," he assured, a sense of resignation coloring his words. "I'll give you space, whatever you need."

He took a step back, giving you a gentle nod as if to affirm his commitment to respecting your wishes. Though the weight of his unspoken feelings lingered, he understood the importance of honoring your request, his regret palpable in the ache of the unspoken words he left hanging in the air.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Rafe. I just - I don't think you know what you're getting yourself into."

Rafe's features softened once more, a glint of understanding in his eyes as he absorbed your words. "I hear you," he replied softly, a tinge of regret lacing his voice. "Maybe I jumped the gun."

He took a step closer, a reassuring gesture without encroaching on your space. "I get it, Y/n. I don't want to complicate things for you," he acknowledged, a sense of empathy coloring his words. "I'll... figure it out."

There was a lingering sadness in his eyes, a realization that the depth of his feelings might have inadvertently disrupted the delicate balance. He offered a faint, understanding smile, silently conveying his acceptance of your decision while grappling with the weight of unspoken sentiments swirling within him.

Your heart ached at the sight of him, the turmoil of emotions swirling within you as you watched Rafe navigate the complexities of the moment. There was a pang of empathy mixed with a tinge of regret, knowing that his heartfelt confession had collided with a reality too intricate to unravel.

His genuine vulnerability struck a chord within you, the sincerity in his eyes a poignant reminder of the depth of his feelings. Despite the complexities, there was an undeniable longing in his gaze, a silent plea for understanding.

Yet, amidst the ache, you held firm, knowing that conceding to the whirlwind of emotions might only deepen the intricate web you both found yourselves entangled in. The ache in your chest was a silent testament to the conflicting desires to both embrace and pull away from the vulnerability that lay bare between you.

With a gentle resolve in your voice, you offered a solution to diffuse the tension hanging in the air. "I'm going to go to bed. I'll sleep in the guest room if you'd like for me to," you softly stated, your gaze fixed on Rafe, awaiting his response.

Rafe met your gaze, a mix of gratitude and regret flickering in his eyes. "I appreciate that," he replied quietly, his voice carrying a hint of resignation. "But you don't have to do that. You can take my room; I'll take the guest."

There was a sense of mutual understanding in his response, a tacit acknowledgment of the unspoken boundaries between you. As you turned to leave, a bittersweet atmosphere lingered, the weight of unresolved emotions hanging in the air, leaving both of you to navigate the uncharted territories of unspoken sentiments.

Your heart urged you to offer more, to say something that could alleviate the heaviness in the room, yet words eluded you. You wished to ease the ache in Rafe's eyes, to erase the tension that had woven its way between you both.

But the weight of the moment held you captive, words caught in the tangled threads of conflicting emotions. You longed to express understanding, to mend the rift caused by the unexpected turn of events, but the complexity of the situation left you grappling with the silence.

With a heavy sigh and a lingering gaze, you retreated, knowing that sometimes the silence spoke louder than any words you could muster, and hoping that time might offer a balm to heal the unspoken wounds that lingered between you and Rafe.

As you made your way to Rafe's room, guilt weighed heavy on your shoulders, each step a reminder of the tangled web of emotions you found yourself entwined in. The faint echo of your own footsteps seemed to resonate with the uncertainty that clouded your mind.

Slipping under the covers, the warmth of the room offered little comfort against the turmoil within. You couldn't shake off the guilt, a relentless companion that followed you into the darkness. The sheets felt colder than usual, a stark contrast to the turmoil raging inside you.

Lying there, your thoughts tangled in a maze of regret, you replayed the events of the evening, questioning the choices that led to this poignant moment. The weight of the situation pressed down on you, leaving you feeling adrift in a sea of conflicting emotions.

Sleep remained elusive, your mind restless, grappling with the repercussions of your actions. The guilt lingered as a constant reminder of the complexities that now defined the fragile dynamics between you and Rafe.

As the night ebbed away, the soft hues of dawn painted the sky, signaling the arrival of a new day. You descended the stairs, a faint unease lingering from the events of the previous evening, unsure of what the morning would bring.

At the foot of the staircase, you were met with Rafe, his presence an unexpected yet anticipated encounter. There was an awkward tension in the air, a silent acknowledgment of the unresolved emotions that hung between you both.

"Morning," Rafe greeted, his voice carrying a hint of uncertainty, the weight of the unspoken words from the night before lingering in the air.

"Morning," you replied softly, the air heavy with an unspoken understanding, a palpable sense of discomfort threading through the atmosphere.

There was an unspoken agreement to navigate the morning with cautious steps, each movement tinged with the residue of the unresolved emotions that lingered between you. The air crackled with an unspoken tension, leaving both of you searching for a semblance of normalcy in the midst of the palpable awkwardness.

"I'm gonna head back to the chateau in a few, JJ said he wants to talk to me," you mentioned, trying to break the palpable tension hanging in the air.

Rafe's laughter was dry, a strained sound that echoed in the room, a stark contrast to the ease that once defined your interactions. "Seems like he's got a lot to talk about these days," he remarked, a hint of bitterness seeping into his words.

You sensed the unease in his tone, a reflection of the awkwardness that enveloped the space between you. The weight of the unresolved emotions lingered, casting a shadow over the interaction, leaving the air heavy with unspoken sentiments.

The apology hung in the air, a quiet admission laden with the weight of remorse. "Rafe... I'm sorry, okay?" you uttered softly, the words an attempt to ease the strain that enveloped the space between you.

"Sure," Rafe replied, his tone notably drier, a touch of guardedness in his response. The weight of the situation lingered in the air, his words carrying a subtle hint of distance as he navigated the delicate balance between acceptance and reservation.

The conversation seemed to falter, leaving an uncomfortable silence that underscored the unspoken tension. Despite the attempt at reconciliation, there was a palpable hesitance in his demeanor, a reluctance to fully embrace the offered apology, adding another layer of complexity to the already strained atmosphere.

"I didn't say it because I don't care about you, Rafe," you asserted, hoping to clarify the sincerity behind your actions.

Rafe's response was more confrontational, his confusion apparent in his tone. "Then why?" he questioned, a hint of frustration seeping into his words. "It's just... it feels like nothing's adding up."

There was an edge to his demeanor, a palpable frustration stemming from the unresolved tension between you. The attempt at explanation seemed to only complicate matters further, leaving both of you grappling with the tangled web of emotions that refused to find resolution.

"Because I don't want you to get hurt," you explained, your voice soft yet firm, hoping to convey the underlying concern that had guided your actions.

Rafe's demeanor softened slightly, a flicker of surprise mingled with a trace of understanding in his expression. "Hurt?" he echoed, a hint of confusion still present but tempered by the sincerity in your words.

"Yeah," you continued, trying to articulate the protective instinct that fueled your choices. "Things are... complicated, and I didn't want to add to that."

There was a subtle shift in the atmosphere, an attempt to bridge the gap with honesty and concern, hoping to offer a glimpse into the complexities that had led to your decisions. The air, though still charged with tension, held a trace of empathy as you navigated the fragile balance between candor and reservation.

"Do you think I care if things are a little complicated, Y/n? My whole life has been complicated," Rafe responded, his voice carrying a mixture of resignation and a hint of frustration, a glimpse into the complexities he had grown accustomed to.

His words held a weight, a testament to the tumultuous experiences that had shaped his life. Despite the tension, there was a raw honesty in his admission, revealing the layers of complexities that had become intrinsic to his existence.

"Yeah, but it's me, Rafe. I'm a Pogue from the Cut, do you really want that? Your family probably has this whole plan set out for you to end up with a Kook, anyways," you expressed, a tinge of vulnerability woven into your words. "This, I, am way too complicated for your lifestyle. That's more weight than you could bear."

Your words carried the weight of societal expectations and the stark contrast between your worlds. The lines drawn by society's standards seemed insurmountable, adding layers of complexity to an already intricate situation. You highlighted the disparity between your backgrounds, emphasizing the potential burden it might pose for Rafe, intertwining concern for his well-being with an understanding of the societal barriers dividing you.

"I don't care, Y/n. I don't care what they have to say because I care about you. Why can't you just accept that?" Rafe's voice carried a raw honesty, his words cutting through the barriers of societal expectations.

Your heart skipped a beat at his unwavering declaration. "Because it's not that simple, Rafe," you replied softly, your voice laced with a mix of emotions. "There's so much more at stake than just us. Just trust me on this. Please."

"Y/n, please just listen to me. It doesn't have to be this way. We can make it work, whatever I have to do, I'll do it," Rafe pleaded, his voice tinged with a sense of urgency and determination.

You met his earnest gaze, torn between the desire to believe in his words and the weight of the obstacles you both faced. "Rafe, it's not that simple," you murmured, the turmoil evident in your tone. "There are things beyond our control, things that won't just change because we want them to."

The ache in your chest mirrored the conflict in your mind, the yearning to embrace his offer battling against the harsh realities that seemed to impose barriers between you.

The scene unfolded before you, and you witnessed the subtle tremble in Rafe's lip, a poignant display of the emotions he struggled to contain. Sorrow etched into the depths of his eyes, a vulnerable expression that laid bare the depth of his feelings.

Your heart wrenched at the sight, a surge of empathy flooding through you as you recognized the pain reflected in his gaze. The weight of the situation bore heavily on him, and the turmoil within him was palpable, painting a picture of raw vulnerability and unspoken longing.

Despite the complexities that stood between you both, the silent plea in his eyes tugged at your own emotions, evoking a whirlwind of conflicting sentiments that left you grappling with the ache of shared sorrow and the unyielding barriers that seemed to divide you.

"I need you, Y/n," Rafe's voice was tinged with desperation, a raw plea that echoed in the room, laying bare the depth of his emotions.

"I've got to go, Rafe," you whispered, your voice laden with sorrow, each word a painful admission of the necessity to part ways despite the shared longing.

Walking out of Rafe's house, tears blurred your vision, emotions swirling within as you grappled with the weight of the encounter. As you stepped outside, your friend Kiara awaited in the car, a knowing look in her eyes that spoke volumes without a single word exchanged.

Kiara observed your tear-stained cheeks and pained expression, her eyes reflecting a mix of concern and understanding. Without needing to speak, she unlocked the car doors, a silent invitation for you to seek solace in the comfort of her presence.

With a heavy heart, you slid into the passenger seat beside Kiara, the warmth of her presence offering a sense of solace amidst the whirlwind of emotions. The unspoken understanding between friends enveloped the space, allowing for a moment of silent companionship amid the storm of feelings that surged within.

"I did what you guys asked me," you stated flatly, the weight of your actions hanging heavily in the air, your voice tinged with resignation.

Kiara glanced at you, her expression a mix of concern and apprehension, recognizing the strain in your voice. "Are you okay?" she inquired softly, her tone laced with a gentle concern, understanding the difficulty of the task you'd undertaken for the sake of your friends.

You remained silent for a moment, the weight of the recent events settling heavily on your shoulders. "I will be," you finally replied, the words carrying a hint of uncertainty, as if unsure of the aftermath of your actions and the impact they might have on the intricate balance of your relationships.

The journey to the chateau was enveloped in silence, a heavy curtain of unspoken thoughts that draped the car's interior. Each passing moment seemed to stretch in the weight of the quiet, the air thick with unexpressed emotions that lingered between you and Kiara.

You fought to hold back the tears, a silent war raging within, the ache in your chest a testament to the depth of the emotions that surged beneath the surface. The weight of recent events bore heavily on you, and the silent car ride provided a fleeting refuge where tears threatened to breach the dam of your composure.

Despite your efforts, a lone tear escaped, tracing a path down your cheek, a silent testament to the emotional storm that raged within. You discreetly wiped it away, hoping to shield your vulnerability, the weight of unspoken words and unshed tears weaving an intricate tapestry of inner turmoil.

The car rolled to a halt near the chateau's entrance, the engine's hum fading into the quiet ambiance of the estate. Kiara cast a glance your way, a wordless assurance conveyed through her eyes, a silent understanding that transcended the unspoken.

As you stepped out, the familiar sight of the chateau greeted you, its grandeur contrasting sharply with the weight of emotions carried within. The walk to the entrance felt longer than usual, each step echoing the turmoil within, the unspoken conversation hanging heavily between you and Kiara.

Approaching the door, the details of the chateau seemed to blur, your focus consumed by the emotional tempest raging within. With a deep breath, you turned the doorknob, the heavy wooden door creaking softly as it opened to welcome you inside.

Stepping into the foyer, the chateau enveloped you, the coolness of the air offering a stark contrast to the warmth of the emotional turmoil within.

As your friends turned to greet you, their expectant smiles faltered into a puzzled expression as they registered the turmoil etched on your face. Their eyes mirrored a blend of confusion and concern, a stark contrast to the jovial atmosphere that typically enveloped their gatherings.

A fleeting moment passed, each heartbeat echoing the unspoken as your friends exchanged glances, a silent communication that conveyed their awareness of the unspoken turmoil lingering beneath the surface. The chapter's end was marked by the unspoken tension, leaving an uncertain ambiance that hung between you, hinting at the complexities awaiting their reckoning.

taglist:  @ellesalazar, @champomiel, @vadinaleme, @kys4-20, @gills-lounge, @allsmilesreally7, @sublimepenguinpeach-blog, @sp00ky-spr1te, @bibliophilewednesday, @haroldpotterson, @i-love-rafe, @ellesalazar, @calmoistorm, @abundantxadorations, @fals3-g0d, @gillybear17, @oiiviagrande, @hockeybabe87, @augustlikesdeath, @wpdailyminimeta, @palmwinemami, @loxleys-blog, @ikisscline, @flyestvenustrapap, @ilovesteveharrngton, @ijustwanttoreadlols

[avatarmerida]

Til You Make It

Okay so this was something I wanted to have finished for Valentines Day (and it shows) but then idk I just didn’t. But I wanted to finish it and at some point it became way longer than a drabble but I don’t have enough to do like a full multi chapter story so here’s some corny huntlow fake dating that’s king for no reason. Idk how I feel about it but maybe it’s just because I’ve been staring at it too long. Okay byyyyyeeee.

----

“...and then you pick truth or dare and we keep going back and forth like that,” Gus finished explaining the rules of the game. The boys had such a fun time sharing a room in the human realm they decided to have a sleepover and Gus was walking Hunter through the difference between sharing a room and sleeping over. The main difference was the games you played, according to Gus.

“Okay so I guess… truth?” Hunter said tentatively as they sat on the ground in front of Gus’ bed, their new matching Cosmic Frontier sleeping bags laid neatly beneath them.

“Okaaay,” Gus sang with a mischievous grin. “Tell me a secret…”

“Oh, well I don’t think we have any secrets anymore, I mean after everything that’s happened I think you must know most-.”

“... about Willow.” Gus finished, raising his eyebrow.

“Why would I know one of Willow’s secrets?” Hunter stuttered nervously. “A-and even if I did, I would never divulge one without her permission. Why would you-.”

“I’m preeeetty sure you have at least one secret involving Willow,” Gus cut him off as he reached for his juice box sitting on the nightstand. By now, Hunter’s massive crush on their friend was old news but Gus knew Hunter was making some progress, but getting him to open up about it presented its challenges. He thought this was the perfect game to get the ball rolling or at least see where the ball was. “But if you would rather do a dare…”

“No! No, it’s fine.” Hunter said, taking a deep breath. “There actually… is something I’ve been wanting to talk about. But everything stays confidential, right?”

“I’ll take the solemn vow of secrecy that Avery pledged to O’Bailey.” Gus said with a serious face that put Hunter at ease, knowing the severity of the oath. 

“Okay,” Hunter took another deep breath as he fiddled with his thumbs. “Right before… everything happened, I sent Willow a message…”

“Okaaay?” Said Gus, prompting him to continue. “What about?”

“I uh, well… we had been messaging a lot and I… really liked talking to her and she asked if I could push up my next day off so we could hang out and I said I might be able to after the Day of Unity and I said maybe we could even… goonadate.”

“What?!” Gus exclaimed, spitting out his juice. “Are you serious?!”

“That was before I knew what the Day of Unity really was!” Hunter sputtered. 

“I know that!” Said Gus, saving his mouth with a napkin. “I’m talking about you asking Willow out! Dude, that’s huge!”

“I know!” Hunter exclaimed, reaching for a pillow to scream into. “I nearly threw my scroll across the room afterwards. I-I don't know what came over me I just… said it! I didn’t really know what it meant! Darius joked about it, about me asking her on a date and so I just asked him what that meant and he said it was two people who liked each other spending time together alone and I… liked how it sounded. I didn’t really know about the romantic part until after but even then I… I think I still would’ve asked.”

“Hmm, I bet you would have,” Gus said with a smirk. “But, wait, why haven’t you guys gone on one?” Gus gave a little gasp. “Did she say no?”

“She never replied,” sighed Hunter. “Granted, it was late and she did mention she was tired so she might’ve fallen asleep. But then ya, know alot of stuff happened and then when I saw you guys at Hexside, I didn’t have my scroll to see if she saw it or responded. I mean, there was really no good time to bring it up! And I thought she didn’t bring it up because… maybe she did say no.”

“Well you have your scroll now! Did she ever reply?”

“Not to that message,” said Hunter, pulling it up and scrolling through a sea of messages. “After that it's mostly ‘are you okay?’ And ‘why are there scouts at the Owl House?’ She changed the subject, probably to let me down easy.”

“Or because she was worried about your safety?” Gus offered, knowing that was the real answer. “If we wanna know if she got it, we gotta ask her!”

Hunter’s eyes widened in panic. “No! There’s too many variables! What if she was gonna say no? What if she never saw it but would’ve said no? What if she said yes but she’s changed her mind? What if-?”

“What if she said ‘sure, when?’ but it never sent and she thinks that you left her on read?” Gus countered and Hunter gasped at the very notion.

“I would never!” He hissed. “Willow knows that! She knows… doesn’t she?”

“There’s only one way to find out,” said Gus.

“But… what if I waited too long and she lost interest or never had interest and I’ll just make her uncomfortable if I talk about it-.”

“Dude, stop.” Gus said firmly, cutting him off before he totally spiraled. “Even if Willow doesn’t like you that way, she’s still your friend and cares about you. She would never try to make you feel bad about having feelings.”

“You’re right Gus,” Hunter sighed, looking fondly at the profile picture of Willow smiling brightly back at him. “I should just come clean and express my feelings more directly.”

“Exactly!”

“In a handwritten note!” Hunter declared with flair.

“That’s… a start.”

---

So Hunter drafted his love note.

And then it turned into more of a novel, so he revised it so it wasn’t so overwhelming and got it down to a respectable page and a half. He carried it with him everywhere, waiting for the right moment. He had selected a simple light green envelope and doodled tiny flowers in the corners, as though he was worried the elegant way he wrote her name on the front in bold gold ink wasn’t clue enough that it was meant for her. 

He needed to ensure there was no confusion about whether or not she saw it.

---

“Guys, guys guys!” said Hunter in a panicky tone as he rushed to the lunch table with Gus and Willow sat and had just been wondering where he was. He quickly sat down beside Willow and lowered his voice as though he was on the run, his hazel eyes overrun with guilt. “I did something bad.”

“Cool! What?” asked Willow, in the middle of opening a pudding cup.

“Well, I was on my way here and I ran into Boscha-

“Ew.” said Willow, naturally. 

“And she… asked me out.” Hunter winced before proceeding to explain as fast as he could.  “And of course I said no but she wouldn’t drop it until I gave her a good reason so I panicked and I sort of lied and said that you’re my girlfriend so she’d leave me alone.” 

“Oh.” Willow said as Hunter examined her face for the disapproval he assumed his confession would warrant, but she seemed more focused on the stubborn top of her pudding. “So what’s the bad thing you did?” 

“I-I lied!” Hunter said, as though she had not heard.

“Yeah, to Boscha.” Willow shrugged, saying the name like it left a bad taste in her mouth.

“But I lied about you!”

“Yeah, to Boscha,” Willow repeated again with a small laugh. “Hunter, I know better than anyone how persistent Boscha can be. If lying about me being your girlfriend gets her to leave you alone, I’m more than fine with it.”

“Really?” 

“Really.” Willow assured him, finally opening the cup and placing the pudding in front of him before turning to open her own. She knew he was always running late to lunch because he had a habit of staying after class to ask follow up questions and the run in with Boscha had only delayed him more. 

“Oh, okay…”

“Ya know, I’m surprised Boscha would ask you out,” chuckled Willow before fully hearing how her words could be taken. Her eyes widened in a slight panic and she raised her hands as she tried to explain. “Not that I don’t understand wanting to date you! No, it’s just that I’m surprised Boscha could see how amazing you are! She doesn’t normally have such great taste. I mean uh, well you know what I mean.”

“Heh, yeah,” said Hunter, sipping the drink Gus had brought him as he tried not to think too much into what she said. Not that I don’t understand wanting to date you…

“Okay, I get not wanting to date Boscha but why did you say you were dating Willow?” asked Gus.

“Well who else was I supposed to say?”

“Literally anyone else?” said Gus, fully aware that Willow was often already on Hunter’s mind and it was most likely the result of a reflex or wishful thinking. “Or like, don’t give her a name? You could’ve said she went to a different school or something. Even if Boscha did respect boundaries, you know how she treats Willow. She’ll probably try and break you up just to hurt her.”

“Hmmm maybe not,” said Willow, a thought forming behind her eyes. 

“What do you mean?” asked Gus.

“Well, she might try to break us up,” started Willow. “Ooor she might be too embarrassed for anyone to know that Hunter would rather go out with half-a-witch Willow over her.”

“I mean, I guess that’s not a lie,” Hunter reasoned. “Except for the half-a-witch part.” He reached over and placed his hand over hers and looked seriously into her eyes. “Please don’t call yourself that.”

Willow’s eyes fluttered from his hand on hers up to his face, looking at her with total sincerity, his value of her outweighing any nerves that could accompany the action. She felt like a butterfly was loose in her chest, flying rapidly around in her ribcage. 

“Ya know, I bet if she saw you holding my hand she would lose her mind,” said Willow with a mischievous grin, loving both parts of the sentence. 

“Oh! Uh, well yeah … I guess?” stuttered Hunter, not sure if he should remove his hand or not. “I mean, that’s not why I-.”

“I mean, if I’m gonna be your fake girlfriend then it’s gonna look convincing,” Willow decided, instantly onboard. “We should probably hold hands alot more, especially if we just started dating; we’ll have to be even more obnoxious than Amity and Luz.”

“Is that even possible?”

“Well, let’s find out,” said Willow slyly, turning her hand over to lace her fingers with Hunter’s. She continued to eat her lunch as though this multitasking was second nature. “Oh yeah, Boscha would hate this.”

“Haha yeah,” Hunter laughed nervously, unable to fully process what was happening but knowing it felt very nice. He put his elbow on the table and rested his chin on his other hand as he admired their connected hands as he tried to convincingly convey a  teenager in love. “She’d totally hate this.” he sighed with a dopey grin. .

“You know I’d do anything for you, right?” Willow smiled. “And if sticking it to Boscha is a part of helping you, well how could I say no?”

“Are you sure? I mean, I know it wasn’t the smartest thing to-.”

“Nah, it’s fine.” Willow insisted. “It’s kinda perfect actually, she was being a pest yesterday about how I didn’t have a date for Bleeding Hearts Day. It’s really none of her business but it’ll be kind of nice getting to see her face when it turns out that I do.”

“Oh, right.” 

“It kind of sounds like fun, actually, like an undercover mission. We can meet after school to plan our fake relationship, sound good?”

“S-sure, yeah.” 

“Well, I gotta go check on my bulbs before next period  to make sure they’re adjusting to their new soil, but wanna walk to class together, boyfriend?” She said the term in such an overly sweet way, Hunter thought his teeth might fall out. She said it the same way she would say his name when she thought he was keeping a secret that she knew she could work it out of him with very little effort. Was it because they shared a secret now or did she know something else was up? Either way, he wanted to hear her say it over and over again. 

“Oh, uh y-yeah of course!” He chuckled nervously. “We can uh hold hands too I guess…” he sheepishly sipped his drink and Willow just giggled, knowing he had not intended to get himself into this situation and felt out of place not being prepared. But luckily her mind was racing with solutions. 

“You betcha,” she confirmed, rising from the table and giving him a playful wink. “I’ll meet you by your locker?”

“I’ll be there!” he said with enthusiasm, waving to Willow as she walked away keeping his eyes on her until she left the cafeteria entirely. “Oh Titan I’ve made things worse.”  Hunter groaned into his hands once he knew Willow was out of earshot. 

“Sooo what happened to giving her the note?” Gus asked, taking a bite of his sandwich.“Isn’t this like skipping a few steps?”

“I-I don’t know! It all happened so fast!” Hunter mumbled. “I was about to put the note in Willow’s locker when Boscha walked by and took it from me!  She saw Willow’s name on the front and went to rip it up and hen I asked her not to, she read it. She read it in this ugly high pitched voice and threatened to tell everyone and I… panicked.”

“What did the note say exactly?”

Hunter’s face turned a bright shade of crimson, having intended for the note to remain personal and having it exposed once already today was a lot. “It… just said that I liked her and I wanted to see if she wanted to see a professional flyer derby game with me for Bleeding Hearts Day.” Hunter summarized, the real note had been hard enough to condense as he wanted to make sure he covered all his bases and thoroughly expressed his feelings. 

“Aww, Willow would love that!”

“Right?! Then Bocha tried to turn it into something bad like I should be embarrassed about liking her but I’m not. But she could tell I was embarrassed about something and so she threatened to tell everyone and I didn’t want Willow to find out from her so… I said that she was already my girlfriend. I mean, Luz and Amity send each other notes like that all the time so it’s believable, right?”

“So Boscha didn’t really ask you out?”

“No.” Hunter buried face in his hands and groaned. “Ugh, and I lied to Willow too! But I didn’t know how to explain to Willow why I lied to Boscha without telling her everything and now…”

“Now you get to show Willow what a great boyfriend you’d be.” Gus finished.

“What?”

“I mean, maybe you didn’t totally blow it,” Gus continued. “I mean, Willow didn’t seem upset about people thinking she was your girlfriend. Maybe that’s a good thing?”

“But it’s pulling her into my lie!” Hunter said. “Relationships shouldn’t be based on lies!”

“I mean, you tried pulling her into a coven and she still likes you,” Gus pointed out, as he continued to chew. “Fake it til you make it, right?”

“Right,” said Hunter with a small, uneasy smile. “Fake it til you make it.”

—-

“Hey boyfriend.” Willow smiled as she turned the corner to see Hunter gathering his books. Hearing her refer to him like that made his knees feel weak. It sounded so natural.

“Hey g-girlfriend,” he said, trying to summon the same confidence she had. But the word felt almost forbidden. But very nice. “H-how are your plants?”

“They’re great!” She exclaimed. “Thanks for asking, what a sweet attentive boyfriend I have.”

Hunter blushed, he had always asked her about her plants. 

“So Luz, Amity, and I are practically rom com experts,” said Willow proudly. “That, plus being around the two of them nonstop, makes me confident that I have the expertise to ensure that we can be a very convincing couple.”

“I mean, we would only have to be a couple around Bocha right? And we aren’t around Boscha that much so you don’t have to put yourself out for me.”

“Nonsense!” Willow insisted. “You’re still getting used to things but I know how high school works. Word travels fast, everyone is looking for gossip. We can’t risk the mission crumbling due to carelessness.” Her voice dived into a serious whisper that lured Hunter down to hear her better, her tone covered him in a sense of urgency as though this truly was the mission of a lifetime. “There are eyes everywhere.”

“Of course, Captain,” he said with a serious nod, his voice low and gravely which sent a chill down Willow’s spine.

“I won’t lie, there may be challenges,” said Willow embracing the theatrics of the moment. “After last time, Boscha will be looking for any reason to try and prove that I-.”

“‘Last time?’” Hunter asked. “What do you mean ‘last time?’” 

He knew he wasn’t referring to their scuffle at New Hexside. He knew Willow’s history with Bosha was complicated, but had he done something to worsen it?

“Okay, listen it’s not a big deal,” Willow began in a forced tone that suggested it definitely was. “But last year ago before Luz even got here, there was someone in a few of my classes that I kind of had a crush on,” she fiddled with her braid as she cleared her throat. “I thought they were really nice and cute but I was shy so I didn’t really have the confidence to talk to them. So I wrote a note to tell them how I felt and put it in their locker. A few days later they wrote me back and they… asked me to go to Grom.”

“And you said yes?”

Willow nodded. “I was really excited, I had never been asked out on a date before,” she recalled. “I even saved up to buy a new dress. And my dads were maybe even more excited than me, they were gonna take hundreds of pictures, and they waited with me for them to come pick me up like they said they would. And we waited, and waited, and waited. But they never showed up.”

“Did something happen to them?”

“When I asked them about it at school the next day…they just laughed. They laughed like it was the most ridiculous joke they had ever heard, going to a dance with me. Turns out, it was. They were never gonna show up for me because they had never really asked me. The note was from Boscha.”

 “No!”

Willow took a deep breath, it had been awhile since she had shared this story. “Yeah. She had somehow found out about the note and sent the fake one as a prank so I’d either show up and be humiliated or miss the dance all together. Kind of a win-win for her.”

“Willow, that’s awful.” said Hunter, feeling as though he was about to cry, sorry he was causing her to relive the painful memory. He wondered if Boscha had been planning to repeat herself when she caught Hunter trying to leave Willow his note. He shuddered at the idea of her getting a note like that thinking it was from him. His galdertone ached at the idea that she could've gotten his note and thought it was written as a cruel joke. 

“So it took me awhile to trust myself when I started liking someone, and even longer to believe that someone could ever like me like that.” said Willow. 

“Willow I'm so sorry that happened to you, that’s just… you don’t… Oh, I’m sorry I got you involved in this,” said Hunter. “I-I don’t know why I did, I mean I knew how Boscha treated you, I should've known she’d find a way to try and-.”

“Hunter, it’s fine really,” Willow assured him. “I know I still let Boscha get under my skin sometimes, but I know this time is nothing like that. Plus I’d hate for her to try and do something like that to you. We’re not doing this to prove anything to her, it’s to keep her away from you. But if she found out that we were pretending… she’d be unbearable.”

“I mean she’s already unbearable,” Hunter scoffed. 

“I won’t argue with you there,” said Willow with a light chuckle.

“So… have you liked anyone… since then?” Hunter tried to ask naturally.

“Um… maybe?” A subtle blush crept onto her face and she hoped he didn't notice. He thought he imagined it. “There is… someone I kind of…”

“There is?” Hunter's heart plummeted as his eyes widened in horror. “Oh my Titan, there’s someone you like and now I’ve roped you into dating me and now they’ll think you’re taken! Willow, I’m so sorry! If you wanna break up with me I can always see if-.”

“No! No, no it’s okay,” Willow insisted. “I think they’d understand. It’s fine, I promise.”

“You’re sure?”

“Absolutely,” she said sweetly. “I’m fairly certain that pretending to date you will not hurt my chances with him.”

“Okay,” Hunter sighed, confused and relieved. His mind raced with who this person would be, this lucky, mysterious, and apparently very secure person who Willow had her eye on. He didn’t ask more questions, not wanting to pry and not wanting to increase the creeping feeling of jealousy lurking in his chest. 

“Ya know, this will be my first Bleeding Hearts day with someone, even if it’s not totally legit,” mused Willow. “It’s still exciting though. It’ll be nice to spend it with someone I care about.”

“Yeah?” Hunter asked, unable to process that she had referred to him as someone special without air quotes or sarcasm. She really was looking forward to spending time with him on the most romantic day on the Isles? He had to make it worth her sacrifice. Luckily, he had the perfect day planned for months. “Well then, if you’re not doing anything already I was thinking we could go to a pro flyer derby match together.”

Her eyes sparkled. “Really? I would love- wait, do you mean the match on Bleeding Hearts day between the Sirens and the Harpies?”

“Yeah! I-if that’s okay….” Hunter started, pulling the tickets out of his pocket where he had been keeping them safe. “I actually already got us pretty good seats, so if you-.”

“Hunter!” Willow exclaimed, taking them carefully from him to admire them. “Are you serious? How did you ever… I mean this is so… I don’t even know what to say! This is so amazing I could just kiss you!”

“Hehehe uh well I guess technically you could…” he said quietly as he scratched his face. Willow was too engrossed in the tickets for Hunter to tell if she had heard him. “But I uh, got them as a thank you. For, ya know, being my… girlfriend.”

Willow smiled as she wrapped him in a tight hug, burying her face in his chest as she lifted him off the ground. “So that does that mean… you wanna go?” he strained to ask as she squeezed him tighter. She laughed as she gently put him back on his feet, taking delight in the red mesmerized look on his face. 

“Of course! What kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn’t?” She giggled, only slightly embarrassed at her impulse.She knew it was for show, but truthfully she couldn’t imagine a better evening than yelling in the crowd beside Hunter. How had Boscha managed to accidentally arrange one of the most perfect nights of her life? She was finally good for something, it seemed.

---

Pretending to date Hunter was unsurprisingly easy. 

They spent the day adjusting their routine to that of a couple, and it turns out they needed to adjust very little.

They already went out of their way to walk to class together, so now they walked closer and linked pinkies as they walked. 

When he dropped her off at her class, she always sent him away with an enthusiastic farwell, now she blew him a kiss before he left.

During study hall he sent her paragraphs worth of ideas for pet names. Terms of endearment tailor made for Willow that she couldn’t help but feel he thought of way too quickly, as though he already had them handy.

Such little things that made the biggest difference

During their time in the human realm, they would create little backstories for themselves to help them blend in and get adjusted to things. It was something silly they did to take their mind off the uncertainty of things and help the time pass, but now it was just a silly thing they did for reasons they couldn’t explain. Willow knew  plenty of couples weren’t overly affectionate and they didn’t need to go so deep undercover, but she was willing to commit to the bit as much as he was. It was another thing they would do back in human realm, see who would break first or who would be the first to have nothing new to add. But this was one time Willow was hoping for a draw.

 All through class she watched the clock, so eager to see him again and add another detail to their story. Her favorite part was when the bit reached a point where it felt like an elaborate inside joke that blurred the lines between fact and fiction. Hunter was always the best at creating with her. Sometimes it took him awhile to find the character, but if his Golden Guard days taught him anything it was how to adapt. 

---

At the end of their first day “together”, any guilt Hunter harbored had vanished with Willow's collection of ideas suggesting she really was excited for this plan. If only asking her for real could be this simple. As they walked to the Owl House for their usual Friday hang chatting as they always did, they did so hand in hand only to remember halfway there that since they were out of school they didn’t technically need to be. But neither said this aloud. They were both convinced the other was simply dedicated to the ruse.

“... and I thought we could go official on penstagram but we have to do matching profile pictures first,” continued Willow. “I thought we could do one where we’re each doing like half a heart with our hands so when the ‘in a relationship’ update happens they’ll be next to each other and it’ll look so cute.” 

Hunter had made it clear that he was fine with whatever Willow was comfortable with and he assumed that meant they would hold hands in the hallway for a couple of weeks (which was more than enough to make his head spin) but she was fine with everyone on the Isles thinking they were romantically involved. He knew Boshca didn’t have so much influence that the effort was necessary, but he convinced himself that Willow was simply covering all their bases.

It was for the bit.

As they reached the front door, Hooty was absent from his usual spot which signaled to Willow and Hunter that the weekend festivities were in full swing. Willow went to open the door with her free hand when suddenly a thought struck her and she turned to her co conspirator with a look of concern.

“Hunter, you did tell Luz we were only pretending to be dating, right?”

“I didn’t tell her anything,” he said, having not seen Luz since this morning when she saw them off before heading to her school in the human realm. “Only Gus knows that we’re pretending. I haven’t even talked to her since this morning, I don’t even know how she would know.”

“Oh Titan.” Willow said, the color draining from her face. “I think we might be in trouble.”

“Why would you say that?” Hunter asked as he opened the door for Willow and the answer to his question presented itself as they were instantly ambushed by the force that was Hooty. The bird tube wrapped them into a tight hug, crying about how excited he was for them as Hunter and Willow saw he was not alone in his sentiment. 

“Congratulations to the happy couple!” Luz exclaimed as Hooty loosened his grip on them so she could toss confetti in their faces. 

“Oh, that’s why.” Hunter whispered to Willow as they both regulated their breathing after being stuck in Hooty’s grip.  All they could do now was smile awkwardly as they both took in the display Luz had prepared. A “congratulations” sign hung behind Luz in the doorway, the letters decorated in pink, purple and blue and then pink, yellow and blue. They had set up Eda’s old projector and a slideshow of pictures of Willow and Hunter played on what appeared to be a loop. There were a decent amount. It was just the kind of celebration a new couple would really appreciate.

If only they were a real couple.

It also happened to include nearly everyone from school, so correcting Luz right away wasn’t an option.

“Wow this is so… uh, you guys really shouldn’t have,” said Willow as she took it all in. She didn’t dislike it, no that wasn’t it. Hunter tried to place her tone, thinking that by the redness in her cheeks she might be embarrassed. If he didn’t know any better he might think she was… committing to the bit. That’s all it was. 

But he couldn’t help but feel as though everyone had been expecting this celebration to take place sooner or later. 

“Are you kidding? It’s not everyday your best friend starts dating your brother!” said Luz as she pulled them both into a hug,and they looked at each other nervously behind her back. She leaned back to offer them both a wide smile, practically jumping out of her skin as Amity joined her. 

“Yeah! It’ll be nice to go on double dates!”

“Oh man, if I had known your crush didn’t go away, I would’ve set this up months ago!” added Luz.

Their eyes widened simultaneously, each thinking Luz was referring to them only, unaware how mutual the feeling was. They spoke at the same time, hoping to move on before she revealed too much. 

“Oh! Well you know we don’t have to-.”

“Actually, we were thinking that-.”

“Hey there lovebirds!” Gus said, rushing in to save the day. “Why don’t you come to the kitchen and get some pizza?”

“Yes! Yes, of course!” said Hunter, happy for the save as he took Willow’s hand before following Gus back. “My girlfriend loves pizza!”

“Awh, look at them,” sighed Luz, resting her head on Amity’s shoulder. “He knows that she loves pizza.”

Once in the kitchen, sure no one was listening in, Hunter turned to Gus in a panic but the younger boy simply offered him a calm, knowing look.

“Gus, why didn’t you tell them we were just pretending?” whispered Hunter.

“I didn’t have time!” he said. “I showed up and Luz told me before I could even say hello!”

“Well who told Luz?” asked Willow. 

“Who didn’t tell Luz?” laughed Gus. “Someone saw you two holding hands and one thing led to another and by the time I got here Luz had already talked to half the school. I didn’t wanna blow your cover so I went with it. I just assumed you two were just doing another bit like we used to do all the time.”

“Gus, this isn’t like trying to convince the lady at the flower shop that Willow used to be an actual willow tree and that’s why she can make the plants grow,” said Hunter. “This is serious!”

“Hunter, it’ll be fine,” assured Willow, placing her hand on his shoulder. “We can always explain things to her after, we just need to do some extra pretending tonight. If it’s too hard, we can always leave early.”

Hunter wasn’t worried about it being too hard, he was worried about it being too easy. He was worried Luz would let it slip exactly why it was too easy for him. Luz had honed in on his crush early on, maybe even before he was aware of it, and it stood to reason that she believed Willow was also aware of it now. How do you tell someone your girlfriend doesn’t know about your crush on her?

“Right,” he said, grateful for Willow’s support. They had been through worse, through deadlier and more dire things, surely they could survive a night of awkwardness. 

Surely they could survive the flyer derby team’s stream of questions as Willow convinced them they kept it secret as to avoid drama on the team.

Surely they could survive everyone at the party mentioning how they knew it all along.

Surely they could survive the video Luz had somehow made (dare they assume she had it prepared in advance?) to summarize their relationship becoming official. As they sat on the coach, watching every picture he and Willow had ever taken together move along the screen while a song neither of them had ever heard played softly in the background. From the corner of his eye he watched Willow watch as the screen zoom in on a group photo where he was standing beside her looking at her with a faint blush as she pulled him into frame, her hand tight on his waist. 

Her finger twirled her braid as he failed to read her expression for how she was feeling. He didn’t want to feel overwhelmed if she wasn’t. With the other bits, he always followed her lead. But the difference was that he had been the one to rope them into this one. And it wasn’t something they were doing to fool a stranger they would only see for five minutes, this was basically everyone they knew. 

But she didn’t seem to mind.

She actually really seemed to like it.

“Don’t worry I made you copy to show your dads when you tell them.” Said Luz as the presentation came to an end, proud of her work. “I mean, unless you’ve already told them.”

“Well, we-.”

“Oh, they must’ve,” interrupted Amity. “I know how strict they are about this type of thing, there’s no way Hunter would ask Willow out without their blessing.”

“Oh, actually-.”

“That’s right!” Hunter interrupted this time. “I did ask them! And they said… no!”

“They said no?” Amity asked, surprised.

“What?” said Luz and Gus together. 

“Wait, did you- I mean, yes! That’s right!” Said Willow, catching on. “He asked them and they said no but we are dating anyway! So it’s a secret!” 

“Yeah! We are secretly dating!” Confirmed Hunter. “So we should not mention it to them. Because of the secret aspect of it.”

“Oh, yeah of course.” Said Amity .

“Yeah, we won’t say anything.” promised Luz. 

“Good, because we-.”

“Why did they say no?” Amity asked. 

“Huh?”

“I mean, it’s kind of odd, right?” She went on, stroking her chin. “I mean, they seem like they really like Hunter and they always tease you about him being your boyfriend, so what changed?”

“Uh…” Willow thought nervously, having not told Hunter about all the time her dads had “accidentally” referred to him as her boyfriend when his name came up (which was honestly quite often). “They caught us… kissing?”

“Kissing?! You two have kissed already and neither of you told me???” Luz exclaimed. “How long have you been going out that you’re already kissing?”

“Uh, well…” Hunter tried to start, starting to sweat. He and Willow had established a fairly thorough cover story, but they had never discussed this. Even hypothetical, Hunter knew he couldn’t muster the courage to bring it up to Willow. But now it was all he could think about. Between imagining that and trying to create a story in which it could believably happen, Hunter felt as though he was about to malfunction. 

“Two weeks ago,” said Willow calmly.

“What?!” Luz exclaimed.

“What? I mean, yeah! We kissed two weeks ago!” said Hunter with a nervous laugh. 

“Well? C’mon! Do we not get a story?”

“Um it uh was… a day-.” started Hunter.

“It was after our match against Glandus, it had gone into double overtime so it was late and Hunter was walking me home like he always does,” started Willow, to a room of “awhs” and “how sweet.” “But we were still taking our time, talking  about the game and then all of a sudden, clouds start forming and we realize it’s gonna rain. We’re almost to my house so Hunter picks me up and uses his teleportation to rush me to the door before a drop can hit me. So then we’re standing on my porch and he’s standing really close so the rain won’t hit him and he just looks so cute… I dunno, I guess it was the adrenaline or something but I just pulled him down and kissed him.”

“Awh, that’s so sweet,” said Luz, brushing a tear away. “A first kiss in the boiling rain? It’s like something out of a book.”

“Yeah,” said Hunter, looking over at Willow. He remembered that day. It wasn’t something Willow invented to help sell their lie. They had gone into overtime and he had walked her home and he had rushed her onto her porch before the rain statered, But in reality, they had lingered there. He remembered their faces inches from each other, close enough to feel her breath on his face. She had been close enough that pulling him down would’ve been easy. And he thought about it, he did. Or at least, he knew this was the kind of moment where that kind of thing happened. They stood in silence for a few moments and he told himself later that it was because they wanted to make sure they were safely out of the rain. But truthfully he forgot about the rain, he could only focus on the lingering face paint clinging to the sides of Willow’s glasses and how he was close enough to see it so clearly. How he was close enough to… 

But her dads had opened the door and welcomed the pair inside for a celebratory dinner before that possibility could be explored 

That was the only thing she changed.

She didn’t need to pick that moment, she could have invented something totally new and Hunter would've gone along with it. But the fact that she did… well Hunter didn’t know what that meant. She would often sneak little jokes into their larger ones, but was this a joke within a joke or a reimagining?

“Yeah,” said Hunter, his voice soft and dreamy, transported to Willow’s improved version of the day. “That’s… that’s what happened.”

“So uh, actually we’d better get going,” said Willow, sitting up as she sensed Hunter was growing overstimulated. “Ever since then, they’ve been really strict about my curfew. And I know Hunter has a potions essay to work on.”

“Oh okay!” said Luz as she wrapped them both in a tight hug. “But I will be texting you a million follow up questions. You too, Hunter.”

“Cool, sure,” said Hunter, knowing that meant he and Willow would be on a video call making sure their answers lined up. He hated to think that he was enjoying inconveniencing her so much. 

“Now go walk your girlfriend to the door, I bet you wanna kiss her goodnight,” teased Luz and everyone in the room let out an ohhhh

“Haha! You bet!” Said Hunter with forced enthusiasm, his voice cracking ever so slightly  as he felt the room get hotter. “Willow! Let me walk you outside and we can kiss like we always do!”

Willow smiled in spite of herself  and followed Hunter outside, waving goodbye to her friends as to keep up appearances. She couldn’t help but take a little delight in how nervous Hunter was. She always really liked that part of the bit.

“How are we gonna convince them we’re out here kissing?” Hunter whispered on the verge of a panic attack as the door shut behind them (luckily Hooty promised them privacy). “I can see Luz peeping through the curtains. 

“Like this,” said Willow calmly, placing her hands on either side of his face and pulling him down close to her. As she did, she sneakily placed her thumbs over his lips and placed her lips against her thumbs, a nearly invisible barrier to the nosey on lookers inside

It was fake and staged but Hunter couldn’t help the way his heart raced, still being so close to her. He knew he had to sell his end but he didn’t know how to look like someone who was casual about kissing Willow Park. So he did the only thing he could think of and kept his arms at his sides, lest they do the wrong thing. He didn’t know if this was right, but he knew he wouldn’t know what was right so that made it right, right?

She closed her eyes and so he did too. He heard her hum and his lips formed a smile against her thumbs as their noses brushed against each other. 

When she pulled away she gave him a small wink and patted his cheek to signify it had worked. It really had. No one at the party could deny that he was head over heels for Willow Park. Absolutely no one.

“Oh, okay,” he said, not knowing what to say but feeling like he should say something. “Uh… thanks.”

“Sure, yeah,” she said, trying to remain composed. There was no reason not to be, nothing had happened.  “Anytime.”

It was just like that day on her porch. 

-

“Why do you bring Willow flowers everyday?” Gus asked 

“I don’t bring her flowers every day,” corrected Hunter as he handed Willow a small bouquet. “I mostly bring her seeds and clippings so she can grow her own flowers.”

“But why?”

“Because Willow loves plants? It’s kinda her whole thing? Well, that and-.”

“No I mean, why do you bring Willow flowers if you’re not actually dating?” Asked Gus.

“Because if I was really dating Willow I would try and bring her flowers everyday,” said Hunter simply and Willow hid her blush in the collection of red and yellow flowers Hunter had brought her.

“You mean if you were dating anyone, right?”

“Well not just anyone,” Hunter corrected him again. “Not everyone can handle the responsibility of plant care like Willow can.”

“But what if you were dating someone who wasn’t good with plants?” asked Gus.

Hunter looked at Gus like that was the most ridiculous question he had ever heard. “Why would I do that?”

Willow just giggled as she grabbed her books and held her flowers close to her chest to go add them to her garden in the greenhouse before class. As she walked away, she blew Hunter an over the top kiss as had become their tradition. He reached out his arm and pretended to reach for it as though it had nearly flown over his head before finally catching it and putting it in his breast pocket for safe keeping. Willow giggled as she turned the corner and Hunter wore a very convincing dopey grin as his eyes lingered on her until she completely left his sight.

“I know you’re trying to play it off as part of your ‘fake dating’ bit or whatever, but you always give Willow flowers before school and no one even sees you do it,” said Gus. 

“I mean I… I guess I just need to thank her for doing this,” he admitted. “I mean, it started out as lying to Boscha but I’ve been lying to her too! And I know it’s wrong but I’ve really liked spending time with her and it’s easier this way for some reason? And I’ve tried telling her, I really have, but everytime I try she adds something to the story and I just… I think I’m in too deep.”

“Hmm, it’s almost like she enjoys being your girlfriend,” said Gus as he closed his locker. “Go figure.”

---

Hunter sat on the end of the couch, his back against the armrest as his arm rested around Willow’s shoulder as she leaned against him with  her knees tucked to the side as she showed him a video on her scroll as they waited for Gus to started the movie .The scene was very cozy, very natural.

Very unnecessary. 

“You guys don’t have to do that, ya know.” said Gus, walking in and promptly sitting down on the ground in front of the couch, placing the popcorn on the coffee table. “I’m in on your little ruse, remember?”

“We know it’s just… an easier way to sit?” said Hunter as Willow let out a bright, airy giggle. “I mean, there’s not a lot of room so…”

“Uh-huh,” said Gus, looking next to them where two full cushions remained unoccupied. “Sure.”

“Plus, it’s like being undercover,” offered Hunter. “You need to be prepared, you never know who could be watching.”

“In my house?” Gus asked with a raise of his eyebrow.

“Yeah Gus we’re undercover,” said Willow, making herself even more comfortable at his side, resting her head on his shoulder as though that was where it was always meant to be. “Besides, we’re gonna break up soon.”

“Oh, really?” Gus asked skeptically, rolling his eyes as paused the opening of the movie, wondering when his third wheeling would become official. 

“Yes, really,” said Willow smugly, reaching behind her to grab the notebook off the end table. “We’ve been brainstorming.”

“Sure, that’s totally what you were doing,” he said, his sarcasm loud and clear. “So then, what do you have so far?”

“Okay, well…” Willow hesitated to start. “Here’s the thing…”

“It’s empty, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it’s empty,” said Willow, sitting back against Hunter’s arm. “We just… can’t think of a reason to break up.”

“Not a believable one, at least,” added Hunter. “We want it to be mutual so it won’t be suspicious when everyone thinks we’re just friends again. I mean well, not ‘again’ cause we always were, like the whole time, heh.”

 “Yeah,” she sighed, as though it was a real problem. “So we tried to think of something less personal. Like, not something about one of us but maybe because we’re too busy and don’t have time for a relationship.”

“But then we thought, that might not make sense since we do spend a lot of time together,” Hunter continued. “We still play flyer derby together and we’re in some classes together. Not to mention we have movie night with you every week…”

“I mean, it doesn’t have to be a big or flashy reason,” Gus offered, knowing they didn’t really try very hard. “You can just say you're better as friends. People shouldn’t question that.”

Except they definitely would, because Hunter would definitely still have a crush on Willow. He would still look at her with the same dopey grin, the same wide eyes, and the same rose colored flush in his cheeks. He knew he would because nothing about her had changed, she was still so wonderful and funny and smart and brave and beautiful. Titan, if anything this whole thing has made him like her more. And he didn’t mind still feeling this way, as confusing as it was, but he worried that his infatuation would make their story unconvincing. They would claim it was mutual and there were no lingering feelings, but now all eyes would be on them to see if it were true and there his feelings would be: lingering. 

And he worried people would somehow find a way to make Willow the bad guy. He knew Boscha was grasping at straws trying to ruin Willow’s reputation, and being a heartbreaker might be the straw she needed. He would deny she had broken his heart, but when it came down to it he didn’t think he could convincingly state he did not still have feelings for her. 

And that might be enough to make things weird. 

“I mean, we should at least stay together until Bleeding Hearts day,” said Willow. “We can figure out something after that.”

-

“Okay, I stand like this?” Hunter asked.

“Yeah, and then you prop your elbow against the locker like this,” instructed Willow, guiding him into position. “And like you can put your other hand on your hip or something and then I’ll stand against my locker…” Willow carefully put herself between Hunter and the locker so she was looking up at him. “And there! Just like the movie poster.”

“So this is flirting? Standing like this?”

“Well, standing and talking technically,” said Willow. “But if we stand like this, everyone can tell just by looking at us that that’s what we’re doing. Like a real couple.”

“Okay,” said Hunter, starting to understand. “Do we have to say anything in particular?” “I dunno, maybe you can try and say something funny?” Willow suggested coyly as she twirled the end of her braid around her finger. “Oh, and twirling my hair will also let them know we’re flirting too.”

“Okay okay,” said Hunter. “But should it be funny like clever funny? Or something more low brow? A pun? Or maybe one of those door jokes?”

“Hmm, we can always just pretend you said something funny and I’ll do a fake laugh,” said Willow.

“Wait, am I not funny?” he said with a fake scoff.

“I didn’t say that,” she said with a chuckle as she flicked his hair noodle.”You can be very funny.”

“That doesn’t sound like you think I’m funny,” he teased, absentmindedly leaning down closer to her. 

“You are funny,” she insisted, tapping him lightly on the shoulder. “When you’re not trying to be.”

“When am I not trying?” he said, his voice carrying a certain twinkle in it. 

“I dunno,” she said, wrinkling her nose at him. For some reason she felt bubbly, seeing Hunter pretend to act as though he was in disbelief. She felt like laughing now but tried to suppress it. Hunter noticed. 

“You’re laughing right now!” he declared victoriously. 

“I am not!” she denied, trying to hide her smile.

“Yes you are!” he said, adopting a chuckle of his own. “I know what your laugh sounds like, Captain!”

“Well, maybe I’m-.”

“You guys know Boscha’s been out of school all week with the common mold, right?” Gus asked, breaking the trance the pair had reentered with ease and had forgotten he was there.

Hunter offered him a quizzical look. “So?”

“Huh, no wonder things have been so peaceful around here,” Willow realized.

“Yeah, so without her around there’s no reason for you two to keep up this little act of yours,” Gus pointed out and Willow and Hunter realized they hadn't noticed Boscha’s absence because at some point they had stopped checking for her all together. 

“Hmm, I guess you’re right…” said Willow slowly, wishing he wasn’t. “But, I mean, the common mold usually lasts a week so she’ll be back soon.”

“Yeah,” Hunter agreed. “Plus, she might have spies reporting back to her while she’s out.”

“Spies?” Gus said, unconvinced with a rise of his eyebrow. “Really?”

“I mean, that does sound like Boscha,” said Willow. “Having…spies.” She knew it sounded silly. She knew what Boscha was capable of, but even that was a stretch. Hunter stopped leaning against the locker and stood up straight, trying to read Willow’s expression. 

“Congrats on being voted cutest couple!” Skara squeaked in delight as she bounced at them from seeming nowhere.

“What?” they exclaimed in unison.

“Awh!” Skara gushed. “You two are so in sync! So cute!”

“Skara, what do you mean-.”

“Just look!” she said happily, handing them a piece of paper. “It’s just a mock up, but that’s what it’s gonna be in the year book! I wanted to be the first to tell you, ya know in case you wanted to use a different picture or something.”

Willow looked down at the photo Skara had chosen. It was a photo of them after a flyer derby match, the photo captured Willow tackling him in a hug to celebrate their victory as Hunter caught her in his arms and spun her around, wearing a wide smile to match hers. They were looking at each other, totally unaware a photo was even being taken. He remembered that day, he could hear their laughter echoing as he spun her too quickly and they had fallen onto the ground right after the moment the photo was taken. He vividly remembered the smell of grass, the way the setting sun rested in her hair, and the way the sound of her laughter made his heart skip a beat. The picture was taken well before they had started “dating” and yet…

“It’s perfect Skara,” said Willow, her tone much different from what it was mere moments ago. He wondered why they stopped flirting if it was meant to convince people they were together. He had been enjoying himself and now he felt guilty. His cowardice had made this whole thing spiral out of control, and now their lie was to be preserved forever. In the back of his mind he remembered that Willow liked someone else. They were supposed to break up once everyone was convinced. How had they gotten so off task? How could he let Willow keep bailing him out in such a major way?

As Skara ran back to the classroom, an unsettling silence floated between the pair. Had it been any other story, any other bit, they would’ve come clean by now, right? 

They knew this. Gus had gone out of his way to remind them and they brushed it off. But now, it was hard to deny it was a harmless but. It was a pretty big commitment for someone you weren’t committed to. 

Willow had done all that for him and he couldn’t even be honest with her. He at least owed her that much. 

“Wow,” Willow chuckled nervously, trying to fill the silence. “That’s uh, that’s a pretty big honor.”

“Yeah,” Hunter agreed, searching his mind for how to word what he really needed to say. 

“I’m sure Amity will have something to say about it,” Willow chuckled lightly. “Since she and Luz have been together longer. But Luz doesn’t even technically go here, and I don’t think anyone would-.”

“I don’t wanna lie anymore.” 

She looked up to see Hunter’s face flushed, his fists balled at his sides as though it took all of his strength to bring out that sentence. Willow had to admit, it was not what she was expecting to hear. It was not what she was hoping to hear. 

“Oh.” was all she could manage to say. She didn’t need to ask what he meant. She could ask why, but she didn’t think she was up to it. “Um, okay.”

The bell screamed as Willow tried to process the whiplash that had just occurred. She could tell Hunter had more to say, but she felt as thought she had lost the ability to hear as static echoed in her mind. She was sure she said something about having to get to class, but she felt as though she was outside her body watching a blurry reenactment of a scene as her feet carried her away. They had joked about breaking up, because it was a joke. Because there was nothing really to break up. But then, why did it feel so real?

---

A few days went by and Willow and Hunter didn’t speak. He wasn’t waiting by her locker after class and miss practice after school. She assumed he needed space or assumed he assumed she needed it, but either way it was there. She knew the mature thing was to discuss the next steps, the story they would tell she had gotten so used to their new routine she had never prepared herself for its end. She thought he felt the same way.

“Well well well, if it isn’t Hexside’s most famous half-a-witch.” came a shrill voice Willow hadn’t heard in weeks interrupting her thoughts. She tried to ignore her, she knew that’s what was best. But of course, her timing was impeccable. 

“Where’s your loser boyfriend?” sneered Boscha, following her victim down the hall, having much lost time to make up for. “Oh let me guess, he finally dumped you right? He realized what a loser you really were and decided to cut his losses?”

Unbeknownst to Willow, Hunter was hiding nearby working up the courage to greet her by her locker to try and explain himself. He had tried writing another note, but this time would read from it instead of trying to get it to carry more than it should by itself. But he heard Boscha beat him to the location and any nervousness left his body and was promptly replaced by fury. He knew Willow could handle herself, but he knew his lie added fuel to the fire that were her words.

“It’s really none of your business, Boscha.”

“I’m right though, aren’t I? I knew there was no way someone like you could convince anyone to date them. What, did he lose a bet or something?”

Willow kept walking. Hunter wanted to scream. Boshca knew it wasn’t true and Willow was smarter than Bocha, surely she knew it too right? Surely she knew.

“Didn’t you learn your lesson last time, half-a-witch?” snickers Boscha. “The only way someone would ever date you would be as part of a joke. No doubt he got sick of having to see you everyday and realized-.”

Before he knew what he was doing, Hunter teleported beside Willow who looked surprised to see him. Before she could greet him or question him or say much of anything, he placed his hand on the side of her face and pulled her close to him as she had done that day after the party. 

But with one tiny major difference.

Willow quickly got over her surprise and leaned into the accidental kiss, dropping the books in her arm to the ground as she elected to rest her hands on Hunter’s chest, clinging to his shirt collar. He held her face in his hands like it was something delicate as their noses nestled beside each other like puzzle pieces meant to be like that. Willow did not need to rise to her tip toes to kiss him better as he leaned down to be closer to her and her foot popped in the air as his hold on her grew more secure. His lips were dry but surprisingly gentle as they found a comfortable placement against hers. Emotions of surprise and hesitation melted away as they had no place in a moment like this.

At some point during all of this, Bocha had left. Her grumbles and rude comments had gone unheard by the pair, far too engrossed in each other to consider there was anything else in the world worth caring about. 

Somehow Hunter managed to stop himself in the middle of what felt like a familiar yet impossible dream. He pulled back to see Willow’s eyes closed and her face flushed as reality caught up with him and prevented him from savoring the moment further. “Oh no, I didn’t do the thing.” 

“Really? I think you kinda did.” Willow giggled, looking at him with dreamy eyes, feeling like her chest was a fire bee hive as she allowed Hunter to be her balance, leaning forward happily to be caught any way he intended to catch her.

“No I mean the thing with my thumbs so I wouldn’t… so we wouldn’t…”

“But we did.” She said plainly, averting her gaze and playing with a loose thread on his uniform by his shoulder, she couldn’t bring herself to leave the bubble just yet. “Is that… okay?”

“I mean I… I don’t mind but I know that we’re technically broken up I think and that we were never even… I’m sorry,” he cast his eyes to the ground, and removed his hands from her face. “I-I just heard Boscha saying those awful things to you and I-I don’t know what came over me.”

“Don’t be sorry,” said Willow quickly, turning his face back to her to see his eyes. “For any of it. You just… got caught up in the moment. I’m sure I would’ve done the same thing.”

“Really?” Hunter squeaked and Willow nodded, her hand still resting on his check. “The uh… the exact same thing?”

Willow bit her lip as she moved her hand from his face to the back of his neck. Her other hand still had a steady hold of his collar and she planned to bring him back down to her to answer him without words but before she summoned the courage to do so, a loud gruff voice broke through their bubble as it flooded the hallway.

“Hey you two! Did you not hear the bell?” The voice demanded. They hadn’t, there were more important things holding their attention. So of course they didn’t know there was no one else left in the hallway. 

Except a very grumpy teacher who did not find lateness romantic. 

 “You’re late to class! Detention, both of you!”

---

“Willow, I… I owe you an apology.” Hunter said as they sat beside each other in detention, whispering as to not wake the teacher at the front of the classroom. 

“Hunter, it’s okay,” she whispered back. “It’s not the first time I’ve gotten detention.”

“No, not about that,” replied Hunter. “Well, yes about that too actually but I mean when I said I didn’t wanna lie anymore, I meant I didn’t want to lie to you anymore.”

“What? How were you-?”

He took a deep breath. “Okay, the truth is, I did run into Boscha that day,” he said quickly, trying to keep his voice steady. “But she didn’t ask me out… she caught me trying to ask you out.”

“What?”

“I was trying to put this in your locker,” he began, taking out the carefully folded note from his pocket and handing it to her. He had kept it, hoping there would be a right time for it. Hopefully this was it. “Because I didn’t know how else to do it and I thought it would be easier but she caught me and read it and threatened to tell everyone and I asked her not to because I didn’t want-

“People to know?”

“-you to think it wasn’t true,” he finished. “I-I thought if you heard that I liked you from Boscha, you’d never believe it since she’s always lying. And I didn’t wanna mess it up again so I panicked and that’s when I told her-.”

“Wait, ‘again?’” Willow repeated, confused. “What do you mean ‘again?’ When did you- oh! Do you mean your… wait.”

Her eyes told Hunter she knew exactly what he was referring to. He held his breath. “You did get it.”

“I did,” she said with a smile finding the answer to her question in his wide eyes. “I just… well, your autocorrect was always doing weird things and I didn’t want to assume… I mean not that I didn’t want to assume but I…”

She had hoped.

“But it doesn’t matter,” he sighed. “I shouldn’t have let this go on as king as it did, I’ve caused you so much trouble. You can keep the tickets, you can take Gus. I just… hope you’re not too mad and that maybe eventually we can-.”

“Hunter, when exactly did the thing with Boscha happen?” 

“Um about three weeks ago?”

“And you bought the flyer derby tickets for us to make it look like we were dating?”

“Well, I mean I knew you’d been wanting to go so I thought it would be a fun way to say thanks for being a great girlfriend.”

That was technically not a lie. He truly had been hoping he could say that by the time the event rolled around.

“But I guess what I’m asking is, when you bought the tickets you bought them with the intention of us going to the game as a date for Bleeding Hearts Day, right?”

“Yeah, I did.”

“Hunter… the date on these tickets says they were purchased months ago.” Willow said with a smile.

“Well, it’s your favorite team playing their biggest rival so tickets we’re gonna sell out pretty quick and I wanted to make sure we got good seats so once it was announced I-.”

“But… you couldn’t have known months in advance that we would pretend to be dating when the game was happening,” Willow pointed out, a deep blush covering her face. 

“You… you knew?”

“Kinda? I mean, I knew a little bit,” she admitted. “I didn’t actually know what I knew but I… uh, anyway.” She cleared her throat as she tried to steady her voice. “What I do know is, I’ve really liked getting to be your girlfriend.”

“Oh uh, good. I’m glad I… just wanted to make sure you were uh…”

“I also know that I don’t wanna lie anymore either,” she said softly, inching her chair closer to his.

“Oh, yeah of course I mean I understand if you just want to-.”

She placed her hand atop his on the table, effortlessly lacing their fingers together. “So let’s stop lying.”

He looked down at their hands in awe. A part of him wanted to make an excuse, to link it to their ruse. But a louder, kinder voice in his mind told him to squeeze her hand back. That so many words weren’t needed right now, to stop complicating it. Questions rolled around his brain trying to make him doubt this was what it was but he pushed them back, but then one slipped through the cracks.

“But what about… the other person you like?” He asked sheepishly. “Don’t you… I mean, aren’t they…?”

Willow looked at him with playful eyes as she bit her lip and Hunter felt like the smartest and stupidest person in the world.

And also the luckiest.

“Oh.” He said, understanding her look and not questioning it. His face was red and he knew it but didn’t care. He tried to summon the coolness he was convinced he had when they were only pretending. “Don’t you uh, wanna read the note first?”

“How about you summarize it for me?” She smiled.

“Okay uh…” he tried to pick his favorite metaphor when he realized he was doing it again. She didn’t mind that he was complicated and careful in fact she liked it. She liked him. And she was waiting for him. “Willow, would you wanna… go on a date… with me?”

“I’d love to Hunter,” she said softly, and he felt as though he heart was melting and exploding at the same time. “Lucky for you, I happen to have two great seats for a flyer derby game this weekend.”

“Wow, what’re the odds?” He chuckled, over the moon to find them back in their rhythm as he rested his head on his hand, admiring the scene finally presented in reality.

“Ya know, this means you’ll have to actually ask for my dads blessing for real then right?”

Hunter beamed, his face envied the suns brightness at her response. “I’ll go as soon as we’re out of here,” he assured, his heart racing at securing her blessing to ask for his blessing. 

“Great, so you can explain to them why I got detention today,” she said, with a wink. Hunter laughed before realizing Willow was in detention because she had gotten caught kissing him. Not exactly the first impression Hunter was hoping to present as a suitor.

Maybe he’d ask her dads after their first date, just in case.  

[masterof-blabber]

Dragons Rising S2P2 predictions because I can keep them to myself no longer 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

Ok this is going to be mostly Arin/Sora centric because HOOOO BOY do I sense trouble in the air for these two

First of all, Arin is DEFINITELY going to find out about Sora helping him out with the object spinjitzu thing and I think he’s going to be really really hurt. They spent so much time this season building up his feelings of insecurity and finding this out is going to bring them back in a HUGE way.

Another thing the writers spent a long time building up was Arin’s innate goodness/kindness/naivety. Call me crazy but I think he’s going to learn shatterspin in part 2 - the one thing that literally requires destroying the goodness in your soul. I don’t think he’ll use it much but I think he will learn it and be irreversibly changed

I can envision the lead-up to it so vividly and I think finding out what Sora did is going to be the tipping point. I think the rough timeline would go something like this:

Things are going well-ish. Arin’s confidence is restored and he’s back to training with a new enthusiasm. I don’t think he’ll master object spinjitzu at this point but he’ll be seeing more success and feeling better about himself

Something will happen - my guess some sort of pivotal battle where they’re relying on Arin’s object spinjitzu to save the day and it won’t work and Sora will have to come clean.

Arin - betrayed and insecure - lashes out towards Sora, and then towards Lloyd and the others when they try to comfort/calm him down. He says he needs some time to himself and runs off somewhere

While he’s alone, he’s approached by some force of evil (maybe Ras, or Ras’ master, or someone different entirely) and they use his insecurity to convince him that the ninja are holding him back - think like his conversation with Ras in part 1 - and because he’s feeling so awful about it he’ll agree to join them

Training under this new person, they’ll encourage him to work with all this insecurity and build up a ton of anger towards the ninja - especially Sora and Lloyd - and I think they’ll get him to use that to learn shatterspin

Also pretty sure Sora will learn spinjitzu & rising dragon in p2. Thematically this makes a lot of sense as Sora has been very intertwined with dragons since her introduction (she literally NAMED herself after one), and her element is all about creating new things and pushing the limits of what she can do.

Meanwhile Arin doesn’t have an element (as far as we’re aware, and I really hope it stays that way), and a parts his design speak to oni imagery - the horns especially. I don’t think it’s far-fetched so assume that under the right circumstances he may turn to destruction

Creation and Destruction never ever show up without each other in ninjago. They are completely linked and a recurring theme in the show and I think this will become WAY more evident as dragons rising progresses

Other small things:

Someone will find Jay, probably. (Hopefully!!!!) I’m hopeful for an angsty arc but in all honesty it seems like it’ll resolve quite quickly once they do find him. Tbh im happy either way I just miss my wife

Cole/Geo won’t become explicitly canon but they will continue being delightfully queercoded

I think Wyldfyre and Nya are both going to struggle without Kai,, he’s sort of been a father figure to both of them and knowing he’s stuck somewhere he might never escape from is gonna be really hard on them (esp for Nya who’s already sort of lost one of the most important people in her life)

More Wu info??? (Hoping for this! Hes present in at least one of the new sets (dragon stone shrine, linked below) so im hopeful we’ll find out what happened that silly old guy

PIXAL return???? (I’m begging on my hands and knees)

Arin Sora and Wyldfyre will meet Fritz and Spitz idk I just think that would be cute

[makeste]

afternoon, guys! so, update! much to my own shock, I finally followed through on one of my update vows and did indeed start reading the manga again! and even though it took longer than planned, I’ve now made it all the way through chapter 367. so that’s 25 whole chapters read in roughly 2 weeks. and just to be clear, when I say “read”, I mean with reactions and everything, the whole nine yards. 25 new unedited liveblogs safely saved to my PC and backed up on the cloud, ready for eventual posting whenever I finally have more than an hour’s worth of free time.

anyway, so it’s not much, but it’s progress! THAT SAID, I now have a small dilemma. at my current pace, I should be fully caught up to the current manga in a little under 3 weeks’ time. under normal circumstances the obvious thing to do would be to keep reading the story linearly as the manga gods intended. HOWEVER, a small but extremely paranoid part of me cannot shake the nagging fear that if I fail to catch up RIGHT NOW, the manga will somehow end within the next three weeks and I will miss out on EVERYTHING and REGRET IT FOR ALWAYS!!

and so I am asking you, good people, to please weigh in on what my next course of action should be, because I am indecisive af right now and my FOMO is getting the better of me.

fyi, what I’m most worried about is potentially missing out on some incredibly momentous Heroes Rising-level shit. like, I can cope with waiting a few more weeks to see the boys interact again. but if anything goes down with OFA, or the second vestige, or Dad For One, or any of that shit, I want to experience that right alongside everyone else!

but on the other hand, if 404 and 405 contain any huge spoilers for past chapters, I’m probably better off being patient, so long as the manga hasn’t quite reached world-ending levels just yet. I’ve actually been shocked at the number of twists which I had not been spoiled about at ALL (including pretty much everything in the Endeavor vs AFO fight so far, as well as Dabi & Shouto, all of the Big Three stuff, and so on), and I’ve been really enjoying the ride, ngl. so idk! please bless me with your sage wisdom, everyone.

[zvezdacito]

// Ignihyde spoilers and Diasomnia theories

Ok so based on all that. I think what will happen in Diasomnia so that they'll reference the 100 years thing by Malleus either trapping everyone in a timeless bubble like what he happened in Halloween, or keeping them all in ageless sleep, out of a misguided attempt to prolong their "short, fragile" lives. Probably because he wants a longer chance to be friends with all of them particularly Yuu idk.

Malleus went to NRC in the first place in order to have a more casual personal understanding of the average person since he was too heavily isolated and sheltered growing up. He's improved and started learning but generally he still lacks that empathy and understanding of humans.

He only understands their experiences through his very different fae experiences. This inability to put himself in their shoes is mixed with his pride at being one of the strongest mages in the world makes him view himself as "above humanity". He sees humanity as something inherently tied to weakness, and not ambition, connection, hardwork and progress. As a result, he is not only separated from the supposed powerlessness of humans, but also the beautiful social connection that comes with being a human.

Compare this to the impressed and more open-minded stance Lilia has, who has lived long enough to learn this lesson and witness the progression of humans for likely thousands of years.

What's more is that Malleus deep down doesn't want to be above or apart from everyone else. He has the same capacity for humanity as all the other students on campus but because of everything he's internalized his dehumanization so bad and doesn't actively and conciously try to go against it anymore💔

So chapter 7 ending might be the gang slapping some sense into him by telling him that he needs to stop seeing himself as above humanity and believe in the unique abilities of humans. It's perfect for idia to be the previous overblotter and the one telling him this since part of Idia's trauma was him not being allowed to just be "normal" like Malleus because of family obligations.

He's also adept at technology, something Malleus is not and wants to be better at, so it would really hammer home the point and be a nice moment for both of them.

Although I think it would also be nice if Yuu did some of the slapping sense into him. Since other than them being built up to have this unexpected friendship, Yuu is magicless and Malleus was amused with them initially because they were able to treat him not as a mystical figure but as a regular person.

Yuu could say something along the lines of "You wanted me to treat you not as a distant stranger but like my equal. Then you should also do the work to treat us like your equals and not weaklings just because we aren't as physically and magically strong as you are, because we are also strong in our own ways"

but idk if they'll do that or continue making them pretty passive voiceless and useless like in recent chapters🗿 (I know a lot of people prefer it that way to focus on the boys but we already have the events and side stories of the other characters' POV, and I think they could find a balance between an active MC and while not sidelining or exploring the boys if they tried (like the Octavinelle chapter did idk))

Idk overall I really enjoyed Ignihyde and the ending was super satisfying compared to Pomefiore so that's good. Hoping for the best in Diasomnia when we get it in 1,000,000,000 years

[vanadisvalentine]

RWBY Volume 9 Episode 10: Of Solitude and Self

i have thoughts. here are some of those thoughts.

I am going...to try and keep this in chronological order, but it's midnight, and I tend to ramble the longer I've been awake. So bear with me.

First off, okay, so we're definitely going to get details of exactly what happened with Summer later down the line. Presumably, she, Raven, and Qrow ('cause who else would Raven have portaled too yanno), along with maybe some others who knows, went on the offensive vs Mommy Salami and things didn't work out. If that's the case, boy does that color Qrow's character even further. It's no wonder he used to stay far away from the people he cares about. Also wow Raven nice to see you again, been a couple of volumes.

I'm glad that Rubes got to have a sort of posthumous pep-talk from her mother, even if it's something as simple as "I love you the way you are". I appreciate that she didn't need to be talk-no-jutsu'd into getting the theme of the volume, but rather it's a conclusion she came to herself. After a whole volume of seeing her all morose and depressed, it put the biggest smile on my face to see her finally accept that she is Ruby Rose, and that's all she's ever needed to be.

On a less profound note

WHOOOO RED LIKE ROSES PART III FUCK YEAH BABY THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS IS WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT. Whoever animated that first little sequence of Ruby going ham on the cat with Crescent Rose? I want to kiss you. You deserve the world. Brings me right back to volume 1. (Was it Arryn? I feel like it was Arryn considering how much they love Soul Eater but I can't remember if they've done any combat sequences aaaah)

The Cat got the shit kicked out of them in a great team fight. Doing a whole ass 5 v 1, even with someone as formidable as the CC in the fray, couldn't have been easy to choreograph, so props to the whole team on that one for making it feel sick. The Cat is a bit of a more tragic character in retrospect with the tale the Blacksmith told (also--the Ever After is the primordial world? The Brothers didn't make it? Shit, color me surprised), but at the same time...yeah RIP Bozo.

'Twas curiosity that killed the cat or something like that idk

The fuckin piano reprise of This Will Be the Day oh my GOOOOOD. Chills. The music in this volume has been absolutely phenomenal. Of course there are the vocal tracks, but the score??? Martin Gonzalez you beautiful man. Bless your heart, bless your body, bless your soul.

Neo. Neo Neo Neo. Neopolitan, baby girl...I'm gonna miss you, as I'm sure a lot of people will. Even the people who hate this show like you because you're just so much fun. I remember back in the day when I was a kid and unironically used the word waifu to describe female characters I was fixated on, you were my precious little Ice Cream Wife and I would burn the world for you. It's so weird thinking about your origins as a character (Inspired by a genderbent Torchwick cosplay, Monty threw you in at the last second in order to not have to animate Torchwick escaping...though I'm sure there's more to it than that), to how you've progressed, to where you are now. This is the last we're gonna get of you for now, I'm sure. But at the same time, I can totally see you showing up for the final fight vs Salem or Cinder or whoever to get your licks in. You were a welcome addition this volume, even if you DID drive Ruby to drink the Bad Tea. It's hard to hate you when you're so fucking cute.

I am...not going to pretend to not be a little disappointed that Boomer Jaune was but a temporary thing. When The Blacksmith was talking about Alyx fixing what she'd broken, I was expecting like, idk, his sword to be repaired, but I quickly realized that she wasn't even the one who did that, and then I was like "oh no" and before I knew it, BAM back at it again with the yee-yee ass haircut. At least next volume comes with new designs so we won't have to deal with that any longer. I appreciate the streaks of grey, symbolizing that it's not like he's regressed in any way, but...Jauney Boy, get that wolf's tail back. You rocked that shit.

That's all I can bring myself to write down for now. I'm sure I'll be talking about this episode--and this whole volume--for a WHILE. I'm gonna sit on it for a bit, but I think it might take volume 6's spot for my favorite of the bunch, which is impressive because volume 6 is hella good y'all. Thank you so much to the crew (GOD I hope certain people who worked on this volume return for the next one, I could feel the love they have for the craft and for this show and I've adored getting to see their thoughts on each episode as it aired these past few weeks) and everyone involved in bringing to us. It's been rough lately, that's for sure, but I mean it when I say that RWBY is one of my favorite shows out there, and I wish nothing but the best for its future and the future of everyone who brought it to life.

now I wait probably about a year or so to see Nora/Ren/Sun's reaction to Blake and Yang finally getting together. Until then, I will drown myself in fanfiction.

[cyrilvows]

Wizard Dad AU 101!

it occurred to me recently I should probably explain what's going on here, shouldn't I? this is going to cover approximately where everything is when the manga begins with some extra details here and there! it is, of course, an OC thing, so prepare for mild confusion in case I miss some things (despite there only being a couple OCs to speak of so y'know. I've got one job) but please don't be afraid to ask about anything if you're interested! everything here is subject to change thanks to this AU being very much a work in progress but with a bit of luck I'll remember to update it. now, on with the show!

basics!

the Wizard Dad AU, a.k.a WDAU, is probably the closest Black Butler can come to a "good end" and that's simply because the Kids™ encounter an adult who cares who won't go evil or like. die

to address the elephant in the room, the demons are around... just strictly forbidden from interacting with the kids. by demons, I mean Sebastian and Hannah, known in this AU as Crow and Bluebell. Claude fucked around and found out what happens when you test a mage.

as you could probably tell, the real Ciel is alive here! as such, he and his twin brother are gonna act a little different from what you would expect from canon! in a lot of feel-good ways but also lots of sad ways, we all know what they went through after all.

Mey-Rin, Bard, Finny, Tanaka, gang's all still here! I'm far enough in the manga to know of all the blue cult and revenge stuff but I haven't actually read it yet... I do tend to spoil myself with wikis though, so I like to think I have a decent grasp on how they all came into the picture, barring Tanaka of course.

I think that's all the basics... onto the boys!

Casimir Phantomhive

Casimir, the youngest I suppose, Our Ciel! I gave him my own name because I Wanted To. it was almost Renard or Octavius. *shivers.* might give him his eyepatch back idk

he's still the protagonist, he's just sharing that spot with his brothers now! I'll do my best to divvy up the story between them evenly while keeping them all involved but Casi's still going to get his moments to shine, as always.

Casi's the main operator of Funtom and the most aggressive of the two Watchdogs. having his brother cannot quell his need for revenge alone, especially not when Ciel's bloodlust isn't that different... I say "most aggressive" but they're both pretty brutal little buggers - they may not have a demon butler but by God they'll still mess you up and you can't do SHIT because their dad is over their shoulder at all times when they're on the Watchdog clock.

he still tries to keep a lid on the fact he struggled with asthma as a child (and may still) but it's very difficult to keep secrets from your guardian when you have two protective and nosy brothers.

honest to god he WILL kill you if you come near Ciel with a sharp object. Casi doesn't hesitate.

he's all around average with the magic lent to him and his brothers by their father. he has potential, he just needs to mature and "sit with it" for a bit longer.

when he met Alois he honestly didn't expect to feel such familial affection for him, but they share some trauma they found; they may not be as tight knit as Casimir and Ciel, but that's to be expected. Casimir and Alois could easily fool anyone that they had always been brothers.

he took the longest to acclimate to him and Ciel being home and having a new guardian. however, he puts deep trust in the man he was the last to call "father" - he may still be unlearning a lot of Victorian ideals about family and blood but he's comfortable saying they have a solid father-son bond by now.

Ciel Phantomhive

the real Ciel Phantomhive who managed to dodge the grave thanks to a last minute magical intervention! while he does officially hold the titles "Earl of Phantomhive" and "Queen's Watchdog", he and Casimir split all their work down the middle for the most part, including managing Funtom.

he's probably the most deprogrammed from his Victorian noble upbringing. not to say his father taught him to abide by some variation of "live like you won't see tomorrow", but hey, no matter what time period you're from, if you were to look death in the eye like he did, would it be at all shocking if you developed such a philosophy? that said, he still plays his cards right in front of the other nobles! he saves his more "unsavoury" (by Victorian standards, y'know, like abandoning your manners in the company of others) urges for when he's working as the Watchdog.

he's similarly protective of Casimir as Casi is of him. he may not be a sharpshooter but he's found himself quite gifted with the magic his father lent to them all! basic or not, it's still enough to scar a grown man for life when used right.

I know I said Casimir was the last to call their father "father" but technically it was Ciel. Ciel already thought of their father as such but waited for Casimir to say it first because he didn't want him to think he'd just moved on from their biological parents like that. they did end up talking about it after months of the man's insistence that "communication is key", a little after which Casimir uttered his first "good morning father", which told Ciel he was okay to do the same.

his relationship with his father is similar to Casi's in that he trusts him as much as an ordinary son trusts his loving father, but he finds himself unwilling to rely on him too much because of his upbringing. though, unlike Casimir, he's good at acknowledging when he truly needs help and will allow himself to be looked after when necessary. after all, what good is he to the Queen and his family if he runs himself out of commission? his words, not mine.

oh right and there's no marriage happening. father spooked him and Lizzy out of it with a lesson on the Hapsburgs.

Alois Trancy

Alois. dear sweet Alois. his separation anxiety with their father is something else. he can usually be found hanging off his arm with big eyes that say "if you hurt me papa will GET you". though he was the last of these three to come into the picture, he's attached to their father at the hip most hours like they had been together his whole life.

he has a monthly budget cap on how much he can give to charity. his father and brothers love him very much, but after the incident where he set a foundation for the next year with a single cheque, they decided it best he be limited. he whines about it sometimes but has seen his generosity spread to his brothers; their father always put a bit aside every month for some charity work anyway, so he's happy either way.

he's awful at like... noble-ing. he has to keep it polite for the sake of his family but he hates it. however, he's allowed to let his true colours fly when dealing with criminals and "undesirables" of london! despite being the most blasé with violence and colourful language, he's also the most merciful. if ever there are children involved in a case, he's usually the first out the door when it comes time to move out.

yes, much to the annoyance of the twins, he more often than not accompanies them on their missions - how couldn't he?! he is looking out for his little brothers and they will like it! if they don't want him watching over them then they would do best to keep themselves out of trouble, but they can't do that, now can they? now stop whining Casimir.

his weapon of choice is a sword, something that has inexplicably made him friends with dear Lizzy! it's a true spectacle watching the two of them practice together. he's no whizz with his magic but he makes good use of it to say it's only meant to bring him to the level of the average mage, power-wise. excessive use tends to tire him out quickly because his body isn't built for it, but who is he to ignore an excuse to have their father pay some special attention to him?

he wasn't in his contract with Claude for very long and doesn't exactly know what happened to him, so he tends to just go with what father said. "he was a demon after all, a sated one at that. he was in no desperate struggle for souls and must have seen no use in chasing yours. for the better, really."

a feature of his bedroom is... I won't call it a nightlight, it's a projection of the night sky on the cover/roof bit of his bed. it's not the brightest thing but it does let him see in what would otherwise be complete darkness. for this reason no one but the people who know that his father's a mage are allowed in his room.

he's in charge of teaching the twins how to just be kids and play and have fun without scrutiny. he was shocked when he found out what a noble upbringing was really like, so he's doing his best to wedge the silver spoons out, little by little... this does occasionally get them all in trouble, but what fun is it if you're not being a bit naughty, hm?

The Wizard Dad

the man, the myth, the wizard, this is our Wizard Dad; one Finnegan Haresfoot, a High Nature Mage! you know that trope of someone going back in time and dating some historical figure that they maybe gazed at some portraiture of with some longing intrigue in a museum or something, or perhaps studied as their specialised field of history? that's him except he adopted the historical figure(s) and irreparably screwed up the timeline out of inexplicable paternal instinct. normal gay wizard things.

he about fills in Sebastian's role but also not? like he fills in the blanks where Sebastian's demonic abilities once filled, such as collecting documents or ferrying the boys around by means other than horseback, carriage or boat.

he's running on about 3 hours of sleep and a prayer at all times, please bear with him. he loves his sons very much, more than he ever thought possible for a man who had never desired to have children in his life and with such ferocity that it's... almost concerning. Viscount Druitt will never escape what he did to Casimir and Ciel and Finn takes great pleasure in stopping the clock to slap him in the middle of a function, just to carry on whistling innocently while the Viscount nurses the giant red palm mark on his face, utterly confused as to what just happened.

he's gifted with woodcarving and sculpture and started a figurine business soon after his arrival in the victorian era. his pieces are made from anything from maple and pine to marble and quartz and their price tags are enough to make the average working man gag. they usually only depict a few figures, occasionally in a scene, though he does do the odd private commission for the other nobles because they pay well. he has a few throughout the manor of scenes depicting his sons going about their daily lives - profoundly unremarkable moments to them most of the time but all precious memories to him.

Lizzy's parents aren't very fond of him, specifically Francis. his hair might as well be a bird nest to her, he ended their children's engagement and looks at her like she's the crazy one when it comes up! safe to say neither of them look forward to interacting with each other but Finn maintains a veil of friendliness for the sake of his sons (and for Lizzy, quite frankly). he did take a lot of her criticism to heart towards the start of his time here, after all, he's hardly noble by birth like her or their children, so what better way to learn how to be a proper victorian noble than from a real victorian noble?

she isn't his love interest but he's a bit of a wife guy with Grelle - in his time, Grim Reapers are hardly seen at all! she's a truly rare specimen to him, a beautiful one at that. she may have tried to kill him a few times but that's just water under the bridge to him! his sons are thoroughly fed up with their theatrics when they're let loose together.

on that note, he is married! no, his wife isn't his love interest either and the marriage was very much advantageous, you see Delilah and her girlfriend were getting dangerously close to being found out by Delilah's family, a fact Finn managed to weasel out of her at a party after letting her know as discreetly as possible that he's also a fruit. a few letter exchanges and a visit to her parents to introduce himself and his sons (much to their dismay) later, the church bells rang and Delilah moved into the Phantomhive Manor, safe to continue her relationship in secret. she's not "mother" to the boys, she's more of a cool lesbian aunt who happens to live with them, you feel? she and Finn are excellent at fooling the rest of high society into thinking they're actually in love because of how close they are, they're glad to have found each other in the hell that is victorian high society.

Finn is a man of weak will but great power. he cannot tell his sons "no" if they want some sweets but he can and will turn you inside out if you say something wrong in front of him, especially if it's about his boys.

he is trans AND autistic

finally, he ended up in the victorian era purely by accident, but if he could go back and do it again... he would. he's no ideal parent by the standards of the time, nor will he ever be a perfect dad, but he does his best for his boys and makes a good effort to keep them safe from what perils he can. be it an injury (big or small), struggles with documents or just a nightmare, they all know they can go to him when they need him and he'll be there for them, no matter what they need. there's a lot of love and laughs in the Phantomhive Manor in this AU.

WOOOOO THAT GOT LONG!!! thank you so much for reading that behemoth and reaching the end! uhhhh closing thoughts: I love my sons and though they will face many trials and tribulations they now have a dad. he's really bad at not adopting every disenfranchised child he meets but shh shhh... I'd say Book of Circus is probably one of if not the most important arc in this one? idk maybe I'm biased because the kids get a sister and a second dad (they just won't know it until it descends upon them). I have listened to Whisper by Burn The Ballroom too many times because of this AU. what started as a coping and comfort thing for me has evolved into like. an actual Thing good heavens. originally there was a lot more backstory in this but I've decided to save it for a separate post because it's just long. but anyway, I hope you enjoy my silly little AU and have a nice day <3

[savrenim]

i saw your post about anime bullshit vs ifmlam and can i just say im so glad you're having so much fun writing? i discovered you through ifmlam but i've been shoving your other fics and patreon and original stuff straight into my mouth because i love your style and knowing that you're having a good time even with the fic that definitely comes from a Different Time Of Your Life is just. really cool idk

aaaaah thank you so much!!!! 

yeah it's really fun and funny looking at my writing over both short and long time frames because there's so much of me stamped in? like there are the tiny things like sometimes when I'm lazy coming up with idiosyncrasies for characters (everything from "I'm going to give you my coffee order" to "I'm going to give you my childhood hyperfixation with volcanoes"*) to obviously with my fanfiction there is the Piece Of Fiction I Was Obsessed With At The Time but also a lot of the original fiction that I have I can pinpoint the setting influences and vibe influences of both stories that I liked but also Other Things That Were Going On In My Life and it just kind of feels like my whole body of work traces my emotional state and the things I was excited about and loved and hated in weird subtle ways and I really like that, the same way that like. the playlists that I've made and listen to on repeat for months at a time have. 

and it also kind of feeds into most of my projects are multi-year projects to ever finish but I never really try to build them around the expectation that I'll feel the same way for a decade, I build them around feelings that I know will be meaningful time capsules? like the way that I choose tattoos: as things that will mean something to me because they represent something important that I felt, not that I feel 

and I guess I'm really glad that I'm in a space where ifmlam is actually exciting to me again, bc it was something that was a huge positive to me for so long and it was a piece of work that not only am I really proud of what I'd written but there are so many upcoming parts that I'm even prouder of and I'm really glad that I never gave up and posted the outline of the rest of it bc it is fun to look back on who I was and how I wrote and take a break from who I am and what I've been doing for the last 5-6 years and return to a previous place both with what's changed and what hasn't. it's nostalgic and it feels right. I think I needed the break but also never needed to throw out the baby with the bathwater and I'm glad that I didn't. and like. maybe I'm having Emotions bc my life is Changing right now faster and more drastically than it ever has before and I think vastly for the better? but boy is it Emotions.

anyways this is a long and rambly way of saying that yeah, ifmlam is officially coming back; there are 2130 words of the next chapter (and oops a bit of a life update) on my patreon right now, and whether or not the patreon keeps voting for that as my open work to guarantee my working on it, I think enough momentum is built up that a new chapter will be posted-posted in like. 3ish months tops? and I'm loathe to make predictions about my life given how unpredictable my life is being right now but maybe possibly it's getting to a place where ifmlam is back on a "sporadic every few months updates" track rather than a "several years of hiatus in between new chapter drops" track???? but I guess we'll see. I'm really having a fun time letting my patreon vote on stuff bc while "wait for inspiration to strike for any given project" is a fun way to do things, I've also realized that I've got so many multi-year projects to finish that crowdsourcing some of what I'm working on makes me feel like I'm making progress on things that matter rather than stalling out on everything bc it's all going at once 

although also speaking of next few months and things no longer stalling even with it being The Most Anime Bullshit thing I've ever written GODS am I excited for Opus I and I think that one's also???? coming really soon??????? as in only a few months??????????

*neither of these have appeared yet in anything published please no one waste time pouring through everything I've ever published to try to find these examples

[albino-whumpee]

The reason

Whumptober Day 6 - Proof of Life “I've got a pulse”

Idk if it´s ok to post this when I haven´t even posted the other important stuff, but honestly, this year´s prompt was too good and the chapter was almost finished anyways, so here you go. Have a big dose of angst. 

CW// Big warning for explicit suicide attempt, suicidal whumpee, blood, overdose, self loathing, past pet whump, ghosts, grief, guilt, death, implied murder, victim self blaming, emotional whump, angst. 

Life seemed to pass in front of his eyes without him actually being part of it. Not ever since they went to his house and read that man´s letter. Not ever, since they went to the lake where the crushed tent still stood and he screamed his throat raw.

Ever since he came out of that box, life progressively had lost its meaning.

The albino boy was at Sarahi´s house now, sitting on the ground crossed leg staring at the ashes on the fireplace. No cat roaming the pristine living room to make him company existed any longer. Momo rested above the fireplace in a wooden urn. A silver plaque with the cat’s name adorning it on top. Annie hadn’t had such luxuries.

Aware of the silence, his hand went under his shirt. Thin fingers hovered under the black, long sleeved shirt that became like a second skin. He passed his hand right over his abdomen, where he was forced to carve his own name. Not the name of the role he thought he played for his owner, but his real name. The one he had quit, and later, fiercely wished to get back not knowing he already had.

Now that he remembered it, he didn't know what to do with it.

His fingertips wandered around the edges of the scarred skin, tracing each of the letters before he stuck out his hand with a sigh.

Whoever Albus Serra Muller was, he was no longer part of this world. 

A pet had come to take his place. 

And that pet was sick of it.

The box boy watched the ashes for a little longer. Molding a pinch of it between his fingers and watching it stain them, remembering the satisfaction of seeing the books with his drawings thrown into the fire, despite the shocked faces of everyone around him. 

A sting of shame attacked him when he remembered it had been Sann who gave him those with a last spark of hope on his face. Sann refused to give up on him and yet... and yet, he had thrown them into the fire in front of him. 

He was sorry, but at the same time, he didn't regret burning them. He wouldn't need them anymore anyways. His resolve to continue had been turned to ashes over and over again, he was just so tired of burning.

“You said you had enough,” Albus whispered, remembering the weight, the cold tip of the revolver against his forehead “one on you, the next on me... but you put it down before it was my turn again...” he said through gritted teeth while a venomous fury lit his stomach on fire. He shoved it down; tasting the impulse to scratch himself bloody right there and then, so strong his hands slammed against his arm.

But before he could dig his nails in, he remembered Sann’s smiling face. How tightly he hugged him at the lake until he had no voice to scream and his eyes dried. How, in his anger, he had tried to push Sann away by throwing despicable words at him…. only to watch him sit down with him.

Tears rolled down his cheeks when he remembered Sann had told him with that new, husky voice of his, he would not give up on him. Not because he owed him. Because he loved him. Because he deserved a life that wasn´t filled with pain and orders. Because he wanted to live that life Albus had given him, with Albus.

“Damn it” He sniffed, furiously wiping off the tears on his face, before dragging air.

His chest tightened suddenly, as a broken sob broke the silence. He pulled his knees to his chest and chattering his teeth from the strain of trying to keep himself quiet. 

Everything he had tried to keep buried resurfaced and stared back, like waiting for him to do something about things he just couldn't change anymore. Getting dragged by a whirlpool of endless darkness, he had long drowned in.

Overwhelmed, he gasped for air and immediately, having barely anything to grab, he pulled on his hair.

After a moment, he let out a giggle under his breath. What an irony it was, that the only thing he could control about himself was how much he cut off. Be it memories, hair or skin. At least, he had managed to stop anyone from pulling him by the hair again. With a victorious grin, he let his arms fall down.

For a long moment he stayed quiet, curled into himself, crying his eyes out until his head felt like bursting. His brain struggled to keep away the painful memories of Annie and the facility. Pushing the memories of her at the lake screaming his name in terror, in a plead that fell into deaf, useless ears; the memories of the handlers putting him under the drip to forget her, memories from when he had escaped the facility and brought the tragedy that lead Sann to be Sirius replacement and took all of Santiago’s dreams. That forced Sarahi to buy him.

Resurging with that blinding pain, the memory of the albino woman leaving at night, hurriedly walking off to the street with a simple black backpack before looking up and mouthing she would come back for them appeared on his head. As if to remind him that if he had stopped her then, she would still be alive. Maybe things would’ve been different then.

He tightened his grip on his hair, the skin under beginning to throb. 

He pushed all those memories and truths away. 

Did he have the right to be crying like that? He had done nothing for others but bringing them pain. It was almost as if he couldn´t stop people from getting hurt regardless of what choice he made. 

The boy then continued to cry inconsolably.

At some point, snot rolled over his lip and he wiped it away with his shirt, just like he had done with his bile in the disobedience cells after sucking a handler off for the who-knows-which time. He remembered wiping the grime off his face just like that time when the boy on the other cell gave him back the food he had handed him seconds before.

He gave it back, but he only left the scraps. Albus thought to himself, unable to put a smile on his face. Everyone else just ate it without a second thought...But, he didn´t...What was his number..? Albus racked his brain for a moment and as he realized, his eyes slowly widened.

In the middle of the darkness, after a moment of his realization, associating the story the other boy told him about what had happened an eternity ago, he laughed. His whole body shook with him as the tears began to roll down indiscriminately.

“Ah, so that’s how we met...” he said, voice cracking with each word “I remember now...That’s how...your voice sounded....”

The words caught on his throat couldn’t be forced out anymore. At that very moment, something switched off inside of him. In that last gasp for breath, as his face went blank and his eyes unfocused, he waited a second before he rose to his feet and walked to the kitchen. Static thrummed in his ears as he grabbed everything inside the drawer containing all of Claude’s medication.

Albus was going to grab the glass next to the sink, when he saw the knife.

He stared at it for a while, considering leaving it there, but in the end, he took it too, before stepping into the living room’s bathroom. Switching the light on and silently closing the door behind him. Head heavy, but looking completely unbothered, he opened the tap all the way and heard the water run for a moment before pulling his eyes up. As he stared at his reflection in the mirror, he downed the first bottle.

He didn’t scream when by his third, he pushed his shirt up and ruined the “A” marked on his abdomen with the knife, before moving to the next letter. Not caring about the blood spilling into the floor or the pain of scratching the letters scarring his skin. 

He was too tired to care anymore.

Completely swallowed by despair, he didn’t notice he hadn’t closed the door right. A ray of light illuminated the hallway towards the rooms, and the sound of the empty pill cases hitting the floor when he threw them, slowly forced Sann’s eyes open.

—

In the middle of the night, Sann’s eyelids fluttered at the sound of water flowing. It took him a moment in his drowsy state to realize it wasn’t raining. Instinctively, his hands searched for his partner’s warmth in their bed. Finding his spot going cold next to him forced his head up. Sann blinked confused at the empty spot and turned his head towards the bathroom door.

There was no light under the door frame, but the sound of water didn’t stop. 

Sann frowned and groaned as he pushed himself up into his elbows, rubbing his eyes before looking around the empty room again, noticing the light coming from the hallway.

He waited a second, hoping he had just woken up from a nightmare and he would be back soon, but the water wouldn’t stop. In his half asleep state, he took his phone, ignoring the messages from his mother and Robin and focused on the hour marked on the clock. Too early... Sann thought to himself, sighing on his pillow before he rolled to his side.

“Al?” Sann asked, swinging his feet over the bed and stepping into the hallway, the phone still in his hand as he yawned, following the source of the light and frowning when he noticed it was coming from the bathroom. Albus never used any other bathrooms but his own. He went to open it with a bad feeling pulling a knot on his stomach “Albus?”

The water from the sink was still running when Sann dropped his phone on the floor and stopped knowing how to breathe for a solid minute. Standing stunned on the room’s door frame, only to find the mess of pill cartridges and blood that was on the floor around a bloodied Albus. 

Too shocked to move, he saw the boy look up at him with teary eyes. 

“He told me to swallow” 

“W-What?” Sann croaked out, the rest of his body unable to move. 

“Back then at the disobedience cells. He told me to swallow,” he retold with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes “He would be proud now...” his arms pointed at the floor vaguely “I swallowed so much I won't have to do it ever again” Albus smiled as Sann gave him an horrified look. “I’m...free”

Sann’s chest tightened up in pressure that knocked the air out of his lungs when he dropped to his knees next to Albus. Watching the blood on his shirt, on his abdomen, dripping onto the floor, right next to the kitchen knife on his left hand. Shaking his head, he uncovered his abdomen only to see the web of welts made by the knife.

“No, no...” Sann whispered under his breath, seeing the wound and then fishing out one of the empty flasks. Recognizing them as Cloude’s strongest sleep medication “No, no, no, Albus, no!” He threw the case away to cup the boy’s face, unable to hold down a whine under Sann’s bruising hold. “T-tell me you didn’t s-swallow them all,” the albino tried to turn his head away but Sann forced him to look back at him “Albus! Tell me how many you swallowed!” He shouted in desperation, making the other flinch. “P-ple-ase answer me, how m-many?”

It took him a long excruciating moment to reply, voice barely above a whisper “...All of them”

Sann’s stomach flipped as his jaw dropped. Letting go, his face began to twist into pained misunderstanding, but it stopped halfway. Dropped to turn into agony as he tilted his head to his left, tears welling on his eyes before letting out a broken, ragged sob instead of the scream that wanted to push through his barely recovered throat.

“I’m sorry...” Sann sobbed, face going a bright red as he pulled Albus into a hug so tight Albus whimpered “I’m sorry, I´m so sorry, Al”

“Don´t...” Albus replied pulling Sann´s head up to face him, red staining Sann´s cheek and jaw, right over the scar from Robert´s knife. “Don´t. That´s not it” he smiled before planting a kiss on his forehead “It´s me who should apologize” Albus´ voice cracked, tears beginning to well up on his eyes “I know I can´t…I can´t apologize in a way that matters. This is the only way to make it up to you” Albus grabbed Sann´s hands into his own and gave it a kiss “You deserve a better life” he panted as the tears streamed down “I can´t let myself ruin it again” 

Sann kept staring at him in shock. But then his eyes, rimmed red from crying, suddenly narrowed, an emotion on them Albus had rarely seen in Sann.

“I´m not gonna let you die” Sann said, almost growling.

Albus froze before he followed Sann´s hands reaching for towels “Don´t...” he weakly begged before Sann pressed them tight against his stomach, reaping a yelp out of him “Sann! No, Please!” 

It was as if the boy couldn't hear him when he took the knife and threw it away, the sound of it falling into the floor piercing through the silence in what was supposed to be just another night before the boy passed his arms under Albus and lifted him up in one go. Readjusting his grip and making him wince before Sann dashed through the hallway screaming at Claude for help. 

“N-No..!” Albus cried in the boy's arms, weakly pushing against his chest in an attempt to break free. But the pills were beginning to work and the world began to darken around the edges. “Stop..!” He mumbled, feeling another set of hands on him forcing his feeble, thin arms away from his stomach, before hearing a woman scream. “Nononono, ssstop!” he slurred as he was hurriedly carried outside to Sann´s reworked van. 

He could barely understand what Sann screamed at Sarahi and Claude, both in their pajamas, but when Sarahi and him locked eyes, he tried to convey to her to please stop Sann in a look alone. He knew how horror looked on his ex-owner´s face, so he was shocked into silence when he saw her slam the door open and get inside the car to hold him. 

He couldn´t understand what she said, his vision swimming as the car began to move. He didn´t understand why she, who hated dirty things, who hated him the most, didn´t do anything when he vomited on her feet. Why she wiped the bile off and carded her fingers through his hair with such a pained expression. 

Albus tried to push her hand away, then. 

“Why don´t you hate me?!” he wanted to scream, and he did try, but she seemed to not understand a word. “Why won´t you let me die?” he cried, digging his palms into his eyes. “Stop the car!” he screamed as he hurled into the front seats, feeling strong hands pull him back intot he seat. He couldn´t really feel his fingers anymore but he fought against the person holding him down as hard as he could “Can´t you see? Don´t you know there´s no place for me in this god forsaken world?!” he shouted at the person pushing him down into the seat. Crying out when they pressed their knee against his stomach. 

Albus´ world became a mix of shadows and flickering lights. He felt light suddenly, as if he had been hauled up and then his head began to spin wildly. He couldn´t see, but he felt hands over hands holding him down. 

“S-Stop!! I´m a murderer!!! Why save me?!” he tried to swat the hands away, but quick enough, his wrists were held in an iron grip. So, he tried to kick everyone away. Satisfaction filling him for an instant when his feet landed on someone's face before his feet  were restrained, too. He laughed grimly, then. No, he was panting, struggling to drag air in. The world blurred as he shook his head from side to side. “I…-n´t wanna…save…no…” his consciousness was slipping. He could hear screams. Was it Sann? He couldn´t tell. “...lease…please…” he begged as he felt something being put over his face.

A warmth overcame him suddenly. The world was a void of white, blinding light when he looked up. His eyelids were too heavy to keep open anymore. So he begged. His voice became impossible to decipher even for him as the seconds ticked by. 

“If this is not suffering enough, I-,” he couldn't tell if he had his eyes open or not. “I don't know how else to atone” he said, curling into himself. 

He cried so harshly, he screamed until he had no voice, he didn´t open his eyes. He didn´t wanna see the world around him was slowly flooded with the sea. 

“Oh, Albus” an albino woman knelt next to him, pulling him into a hug. “You have suffered too much, for too long” she told him, carding her fingers through his hair as he hugged her back. “It was hard, wasn´t it?” she saw him nod against her chest “You did your best and still, it came down to this. I´m very sorry, son. I´m sorry you had to grow too fast because of me. I´m sorry I left you behind,” she apologized. The boy stayed quiet. “Lemme take a look at you, Albie” she said putting her fingers under his chin before lifting it. 

“Can I go with you now, mom?” he cried. 

It wasn´t the first time he saw that beach at sunset. That time too, all those years ago, he saw his mother before waking up to the start of his nightmare. He held tight to her. 

“I can´t go back anymore” he told her, hiding his face in the crook of her neck. He pressed into the hug even tighter. “I hurt so many people…They wouldn´t want me back, anyway. So please, mom. Please…” the albino sobbed against her chest when she passed her hand through his hair. 

“You didn´t know what would happen, Al” another voice said next to him. His eyes shook as they landed on the young girl kneeling next to his mother. 

“Annie…” 

The girl smiled. “Stupid brother, you thought you were my personal bodyguard” she huffed, making him mute. How much he missed her. “You are four feet tall, who´re you gonna scare? The ants?” she sighed loud and long “How much did you miss because of me?”

“Annie…!” the boy jumped to hug her. He held her so tight, tears streamed down explosively. “I- I want- I-I-I promised you, and yet I! Annie, I´m- I´m so, so sorry. I´m sorry…I´m so sorry!” he cried as snot ran down his face. He kept mumbling apologies until he was pushed away. 

“I get it, ok? It´s ok. It was really, really hard. I´m sorry I wasn´t there to protect you” she said, hugging him back. His eyes widened before closing shut again, pulling his arms around her small figure. “I´m sorry too, Albus.” the boy emerged from her chest with a confused look “Mom and I can´t let you come yet”

“What-?”

She pressed a finger over his lips. “Let me finish, stupid brother” 

Albus smacked his lips closed before wiping the snot and tears off. Annie stared at him for a long moment before getting a serious look. She was merely a kid…

“Al,” she called suddenly, catching his attention. “That day, you saved a life. I won´t ever feel anything more than pride for you for that” he wanted to tell her to explain what the hell was she talking about. The two people he should have done everything to save were right there, cold, dead. And he should join them, so what was she..? “That Christmas, you saved someone else. Me? You saved me more than once. If you hadn´t taken most of dad´s beatings, if you didn´t blame yourself for me, if you hadn´t eaten that poisoned food…”

“That was..!”

“Al,” she cut him off before breaking into a smile “I would´ve died much, much earlier if it wasn´t for you. You saved us. Even if you were hurting, you pushed through. For us” she said setting a cold hand on his shoulder. 

“But you…”

She shook her head. “I won´t ever blame you for what happened. You don´t have to bear that pain anymore, ok? You´re not alone anymore, either” Albus frowned at her, before she sighed through her nose. She clicked her tongue behind him, making him turn around. 

“ALBUS!! WAKE UP! PLEASE!” he heard Sann scream from above the stretcher his body was on. “You can´t do this to me, you can´t. Please..!” he begged as he continued doing CPR even when doctors tried to pull him down. 

Albus´ head turned towards the monitor next to him and a shudder went down his back as he saw the flatline. 

“DON´T YOU DARE DIE ON ME, ALBUS!!” Sann continued to scream, “SOMEBODY! ANYBODY, HELP! HELP HIM, PLEASE!!” Sann howled as he punched his torax, making his body jerk back. He gave him some more compressions before he bent down to blow air into him. Albus watched his own scarred chest bloat before Sann continued giving him CPR. “Wake up, wake up, wake up. Please, Al” Sann whispered, his voice worn to a hoarse croak. Tears spilled over his cheeks into the corpse below him. Stopping his compressions for a second, he cupped his face and kissed him harshly. “I can´t lose you again…” he cried in a shaky voice. 

Albus´ hand tried to wipe the tears streaming down his face, but he could only watch him wipe them off before restarting his efforts, nurses looking at him with pity as he screamed for help and nobody came. 

“See?” Annie said, holding his hand. 

“You do have someone who wants you back” his mother said, taking his other hand. 

Albus stayed quiet for a long moment, eyes refusing to leave Sann as he was forced down the stretcher and he kicked and pushed to climb on it again. Not even a bloody cough stopped him. 

“...After everything I did…I caused him so much pain, I can´t just-” he stepped back, but the two women held him strong. 

“He told you already, didn´t he?” His mother told him as he watched his corpse curl into himself in a gasp. 

“W-WE HAVE A PULSE!” one of the doctors screamed in clear astonishment. 

The monitor began beeping again as doctors and nurses, stunned for a moment, began to swarm his body. Pushing Sann to the side before he made way to stand by his head, ripping the segufix around one of his wrists and frantically kissing his hand before squeezing it tight, refusing to leave his side. 

“He won´t give up on you” Annie finished her mother´s phrase before both pushed Albus towards the stretcher. He could only take a quick look back at them having big smiles on their faces. His vision swam as he tried to stretch his hand towards them. “He searched for you, not to see you kill yourself for him. He searched because he wanted to live that life you gave him, with you. So don´t give up on this life so easily, ok?” were the last words he heard before the world became pitch black.

----

Taglist: 

@castielamigos-whump-side-blog @giggly-evil-puppy  @haro-whumps @burtlederp @neuro-whump @comfortforthepain @whumps-the-word @whole-and-apart-and-between @broken-horn-blog @ashintheairlikesnow @rosesareviolentlyread @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @as-a-matter-of-whump  @whumpasaurus101 @grizzlie70 @twistedcaretaker @wingedwhump @unicornscotty @melancholy-in-the-morning

[bitchfitch]

Idk, I've had Monty and Lou Percolating for a bit and I think I'm finally starting to figure them out.

Monty is a monster hunter and Lou is a monster, Basic.

Monty is a monster hunter contracted to do the duty and is in it only for the money. It was this or more mercenary work that took him away from his comfortable home, but he is a deeply angry and violent man who wants to lash out and uses his job as a way to break his prim and proper dandy facade in a socially acceptable way.

Lou is a monster, some sort of water spirit that can take the shape of anyone or anything but mostly prefers to chill in the cracks and crevices so he can listen in without being noticed. He's missing his heart, a locket with a picture of what he looked like before he was this creature. His memory is going and he doesn't know who he is a lot of the time anymore. his heart being what grounded him because his memory is tied to the things and people he becomes, so becoming himself, let him be himself again.

The monsters arnt distinct species but corrupted members of extant species, and they are true monsters. their old selves forgotten and their minds warped to make them desire nothing but to spread their corruption. Making the job of monster hunters dirty and grim but very necessary work.

Lou was on that path. He'd gone full water monster and rarely changed shape and so was loosing what little there was left of him. But through their encounters, Monty encouraged him to take up faces again, Monty's specifically, and it started helping him recover in a way. Not immediately, and not always linearly, but after a few months even Monty had to admit Lou was on the mend.

Difficult for him considering how badly he wanted to make Lou dead and how many times he'd failed to so far, but still. There was something fascinating about a monster recovering. It'd been heard of plenty before, if you could keep someone grounded in the early stages they'd pull through eventually. But Lou didn't seem to have gotten that treatment at all and was fully gone, but still in control of himself. He had all his monster perks, while not trying to eat people.

Monty ends up being assigned as Lou's handler because beyond being a marvel, he's useful. The whole 'can get into any non water tight space' thing combined with the shape shifting and mild hydrokinesis made him a bit of an asset for a group that would really rather find the infected Before they started mauling people rather than after.

There's growing pains. Monty is a bit pissed to be forced into both baby sitting and recon, but he can admit it's safer and a lot more calm most days since Lou is the one actually doing a lot of the work. And Maybe Lou is growing on him a little bit, and maybe Monty feels real fucking bad for the guy because it's not hard to see what sort of man he was before getting monstered.

Most of the people turned and not saved are those forgotten by everyone. Even on Lou's good days when he can tell you where he liked to go for walks when he was a boy and what the name of his first dog was, he can't tell you anything about someone who might have known him. Lou never really lingered on that. He had to have had Someone, right? He just wasn't able to remember them. As soon as he had his heart back he'd remember and they could go pay them a visit and see if they wanted Lou in their lives again.

Monty always promised they would. Even when he became certain there was no one missing this damp spot he's started to think of as a friend.

he just hopes Lou is right about his locket being what he needed to stay himself. Because despite the progress that's been made, it's impossible to miss the slow backslide Lou seems trapped in. He won't be able to fight that part of his infection much longer.

[bunny-hoodlum]

I haven’t checked your starfairy ffnet account in awhile, I don’t quite remember if that was the name either. anyway I vaguely remember two fics of yours that weren’t on ao3… one was like…mmm … Hinata and Naruto talk at his apartment about her confession…? Something like that. And the second one was a modern au incomplete multi-chapter where Naruto and co. go to a hotel together, but Naruto is still in love with Sakura, and Hinata’s a melancholy baby in love with Naruto, and Sakura is SO irritated with Naruto, kinda like no one likes him and Hinata’s the only one who can stand him.

You were saying that only 1 fic isn’t on your ao3?

Ohhh I forgot about those. 😅 That second one used to be on my Ao3 but I didn't want to keep it up. (Actually sounds like maybe you mashed two diff fics together haha). I now do recall the College AU where the girls road tripped to visit the boys at their shared apartment. I could still pick that up again in the future. The 'fake dating except Hinata doesn't know it's fake' plot is still interesting to me. As for the first one, I'm not wild about it, either. 😅 That's why I never crossposted it. Not to imply that anything has changed, but I swear back in 2012 I was told that Ao3 was for high quality fics only, but that must've just been an acquired reputation or something. 🤔

The 'Naruto still likes Sakura, Hinata is a melancholic baby in love and there's a hotel', that's the Modern AU longfic that shall not be named but has 39 chapters that kept getting increasingly longer and angstier.

I still hold some fondness and curiosity about the latest arc that I didn't get to complete, just cuz it's also the furthest away from all the parts that are awful imo. So that's why I looked at it again, or tried to. But just when I thought Chapters 16 or 18 were safe from cringe, they weren't. 😱

My 16yo attempts at drip-feeding Japanese culture (not just pop culture at the time) and social commentary like youth suicides, 'Exam Hell', etc into the plot were just awfully executed. Okay, not even awfully executed. Like, fundamentally it's just bad. There's a chapter I named 'filial piety sucks!' and I'm just like ???????. I get that the Coming-of-Age theme I was going with was Modernity vs Tradition but omigod does it reek of Westernization or... smthn to that affect. I'm unsure if there's an exact term that better fits, but you get the idea? So that's my greatest shame. 🫥 The voice of the early parts is plain awful and not worth preserving. (Idc that this was 2006-2008 and I only had so much information to work with, it cannot be forgiven).

The latter parts are like... I would cherry-pick them if I could, but I'm too scared. 😩 I know exactly which parts but ughhhh!! I have to skim so much cringe. And even then, I'd prolly just repurpose them individually into other things. Or reboot the whole ass thing with no Harajuku, no Goth-loli... 😮‍💨 Yeah. 😅 But tbh, Idk what the ending was supposed to be. 'Earn Your Happy Ending', yes, but... It feels like the story was just a progression of muses, it had no real point to it. 🫣

[fourcolour-ace]

Supergirl Season 6 Thoughts

This is gonna have finale spoilers, so watch out if you're one of those people who didn't finish the season.

First off, some general, overall stuff: this season was too short. The pacing was off, and too many things happened offscreen. There wasn't enough time for everything to happen in a way that felt good. I particularly felt this with Lena's arc, but basically everything in the second half of the season felt that way.

The fact that a giant cat attack that lasted all of six minutes onscreen was a highlight for me explains a lot about my experience, I think. The best part of the season was the Midvale stuff(not just because I love Peter Sudarso) because it was actually paced okay and felt good. The characters were handled well, even Kenny(i thought he might show up in the present but no) and it actually wrapped up nicely without feeling incomplete.

Everything post Phantom Zone was... eeh. Nyxly was a good character, but I feel maybe for the final season a villain we already knew would have been better. Some people have suggested Brainiac, which I approve of, though one wonders if it would have been the one from the Krypton show. I'm not sure myself, maybe just Lex would have been good, but the fact is that there was no time in the second half of the season. Zero reprieve for characters or viewers. I missed seeing National City as a setting that the characters actually lived in.

Characters who got decent arcs were: Alex, Kelly, and Kara. J'onn was just sort of there, Nia's arc was ???, and don't even get me started on Brainy(he gets his own paragraph later). I do feel like Alex and Kelly's adoption and marriage was a good progression for them. They are very wholesome lesbians, but c'mon y'all this is the CW, the best we'll get is Nia yelling and wanting to murder(very good work Nicole). Not even touching Lena and Kara, they were fine. Just fine. I think Lena needs friends more than anything else. Nia was great this season but her arc was just so not. I mean I get that she wanted her mom, but they just glossed over that in season 5 so it felt really out of nowhere. She just seemed all over the place in season 6. Lena's arc was paced poorly, and while there's nothing wrong with magic, there hasn't been much precedent for it in Supergirl(except maybe in crossovers? idk) so same as above. I have no idea what to say about Kara revealing her identity. I guess she felt it was the right choice, but doesn't she realize what will happen? You've got enemies Kara, and they've already come after your friends, now they'll come after even more of them. I suppose it was meant as a conclusion to her ongoing identity crisis but man, literally anyone who's read the comics knows why superheroes have secret identities, especially the Superfam. This problem could have been solved the way I thought they were going to seasons ago, by having Kara go to the future to join the Legion, but that would have required a very different procession of events, for longer than just season 6. Do I mean KaraDox? Yeah, I guess, but I no longer care at this point. Supergirl is just a little disappointing, in general.

As for how they massacred my boy... Brainy's characterization and arc for the first part of the season were not bad. I feel like they gave up and just made him a joke character, but also tried to keep giving him depth? Most opportunities for deeper exploration were passed over in S6, including his relationship with Nia. They hardly spend any good time together in this season, and I'm expected to believe he said "sprock the timestream" for her? I barely believe it even if I can hear Jesse's voice in my head as I type. His end-of-season arc was just so random and poorly executed. Those sorts of things can only be meaningful if the character goes through with it! But they just said no, he's gonna come back without sacrificing himself actually. I'm also certain it was out of character for him. He'd rather Brainiac 5 die saving his planet, because then he's finally redeemed his family name, and there will be no more Brainiacs(presumably, in this universe). Do you agree, fellow Querl Dox syndrome havers? I think having him go and not come back, and showing him giving up his sense of self to the(so-called) Big Brain would have been a meaningful end for him.

*sigh* I've run out of steam, but this post is long enough. Thanks for reading.

[devilfic]

Hey its me again!!! I read your dm but for some reason i cant reply?? Like, i wrote and clicked the send button but my message just... disappeared??? Tumblr is so weird so uhhh im just gonna reply through here, if you dont mind!!!

First of all, you're welcome!!! Like i said in my previous ask, i have a very specific taste in fanfics so when i finally do find the stuff i like (which is rare), i always try to express how much i love it!! Because im just so thankful to have it!!! Also because i cant keep this giddy feeling to myself!!! Other than that, im also aware of how much these comments affect writers so yeah, its a win-win situation!!!

Anyway, you've been writing for 13 years?!?!?!?! Thats.... thats a really long time... no wonder you're so great!!! You've written for longer than my nephew has been living lol!!

Oh and im not sure if you've seen that i love that riddler fic too, but i just wanna say again that its just SO GOOD. Here's some of my fav parts that i forgot to put in my reblog tag!!

[You’ve acquired a shadow. He had stomped out the one you were born with and fit himself into its place.]

[You imagined what it would have been like to be Commissioner Savage in that rat trap, the agony of a thousand teeth tearing into the veins of your throat, all while this voice read you your sins.]

[“Have you given up on salvation already, detective? And after all our progress! Why, it’d be a shame if you accepted defeat so soon.” 

The mocking lilt to his voice does irk you a bit. “What do you expect me to do, exactly?”

“Lie.”

“He’s too smart for that.”

“Lie better. Isn’t that what your precious Lieutenant taught you to do before I dropped him in the harbor?”]

I just love how in the movie, the riddler's whole deal is like 'no more lies' but then in your fic he encourages reader to lie so like hfdsjgfsjh idk my brain loves it a lot!!! I thought eddie munson is the only one that can be on my mind right now, but you brought back my feelings for riddler and now i just dont know what to do with myself.... ugh... sorry this ask is getting very long... well then, here's an actual question: what is your process of writing?? like how does it usually go?? okay thats it, love you!!!

OOPS that’s my bad. I had dms turned off for blogs I don’t follow but I thought that got negated if I messaged the other blog first, sorry!! and that’s so very sweet of you!! I know some readers are a bit shy about commenting but yeah, it’s great to see. also oh boy, that makes me feel so old LMAO but yeah, it’s been quite a while. thank you ;-;

ALSO YES!! I’m happy you picked up on the way he switched up about lies. I really liked the idea of edward trying to do things differently, realizing he cannot necessarily purge the evil in gotham, but he can try to use it for his own benefit. he’s got this weird obsession with the reader’s guilt and sees himself as less of a executioner and more of a savior this time around. if I were to continue it, I probably would have talked more about the lore behind it but I had the idea that edward uses the reader as his sword in a way? and tries to prove to them that he’s right about the way he goes about punishing people.

and that’s a good question 🤔 I’ve had a habit of writing my stories chronologically. I start with an idea, then I try to find a good beginning and end, and then feel out if I can write a good middle. I never do outlines unless I have a lot of ideas or I’m planning on writing more parts.

then I just sit down and literally write everything from the title to the ending in order akdhsks (of course editing comes into play later, and I end up changing things, but I like being able to follow the story from start to finish). I’ve never been a… scene by scene person sndhsjs

[genderisareligion]

Hey I hope it's not a burden or annoying or anything but idk who else i could ask, how can I forgive all the pain and stuff that my mother allow just for the acceptance of males? I really feel emphatic cause who hasn't (unfortunately) passed by the terrors of males? and every night I wish that I'd been there for her, when she was young and got caught by the lies of them, I'd do anything to go back in time and protect her, but I now that I cant and all of us just have to Live like that, and I'm tired of that and it fucking sucks

I love my mother so much I'd die and kill for her if that means she'd be safe anf I know she'd do the same but sometimes I can't help but think that she doesn't love me as she says or idk, it hurts thinking of all the pain that I had to go through because she kinda sided with my brother (and all the males in our lifes basically) all the time, all the stuff that he did to me that made me shy and depressed, I no longer live with my mom nor my brother, I just keep in touch with her but sometimes it's so heavy the reality that no matter how much more I support her or do or whatever, my mom will always prefer my brother and would not accept it, and I don't wanna live with this, i don't know how to forgive this? How to forget it? Idk

Hi anon, I'm very sorry you feel like this. I can relate with my mom. This post about hypocritical brother preference has been going around radblr that you might find helpful for solidarity, I did

As far as forgiveness goes, maybe unpopular opinion and the biased fact that I'm such a raging Athiest and its such a component of major organized religions, but forgiveness is overrated. You are right to be angry at the fact that we live in a world where so many people think "daughters are more difficult" that girls are selectively aborted and killed. Girls are "more difficult" because we're "moody" (usually code for menstruation lbr) and harder to protect/at risk of getting pregnant but no one wants to talk about why we're harder to protect or who we're protecting our girls from. Girls are judged more harshly for our looks, for the romantic and sexual exploration that's encouraged alongside caring about looks meanwhile many teenage boys and younger are taught that their "exploration" should be be getting addicted to porn "made for adults" (but extremely accessible to children) and committing sex crimes against other children at a rate that girls never have or will. I know it's not all moms but some moms are out here defending their sons for atrocities meanwhile their daughters don't get straight A's in school or have a problem with the atrocities and they're a disgrace to the family

Patriarchy and what it does to some families is unforgivable. We shouldn't have to forgive it. What we need to do instead in my opinion and what I do as much as I can 10+ years removed from childhood is find a way to move on and be happy while saying "fuck you I don't forgive you" to the best of your ability. I love my mom but I don't forgive her for her past or continued hypocrisy.

Know your mother's preference is not your fault, it's societally ingrained to the point that she may not even realize she has it. Hard to believe for some of us like someone like me who saw the hypocrisy of it right away even when I was little and in part became a feminist because of it. But our mothers lived in a different generation. Rights for and ideas about women have really only progressed recently in the grand scheme of history

[honeykuwu]

Ok, so I absolutely love Security Breach, but I wanted to make a lost of things I feel would have made the game more enjoyable for me. It's just personal preference, it's ok if you guys don't agree. So here we go:

♡ more Freddy interactions. I really hate that he doesn't talk unless it's an event. Give him idle lines when he moves, both near Greg or with Greg inside. Make him send Greg random messages during the night, basically sell to us that they have a bond, build it throughout the night. I just fee like we would all have benefited from more papa beat and feral boy interactions.

♡ Make the hours advance slower and more equal? Idk man if I'm wrong, but I felt like the game progressed a little too fast and random? I just think it would help to get a bit more time

♡ More Vanny, the amount of times we see her is ridiculous...she was supposed to be the main villain, but I never got a real sense of danger from her. Add more chases from her. Make her randomly taunt Greg. Make her sometimes speak through the animatronics. Give us small scene where we see her interact with them. Idk, just add her more.

♡ Add more story elements: I personally feel like the story is held together with tape and that it was not the focus of the game, which imo left a lot of unanswered questions, like why do the animatronics keep getting more beat-up throughout the night, what is the deal with Vanessa, what is the deal with Greg, why is only Freddy not corrupted an so on. I feel there should have been more story elements added throughout, like small cut-scenes or lines of dialogue

♡ Allows us to actually race for a bit with Roxy, I found it kinda sad that it was only a cut-scene

♡ It would have been cool if we could also save the rest of the animatronics, not just decommission them and thus make them allies. I haven't really thought how, if I come up with an idea I will add, but I feel that is should be a more difficult mission than to decommission them, since it basically transforms and enemy into an ally. And taking from the Freddy part, give them some lines as well, I just think it would be sweet. Also with this addition, you create extra endings depending on who you saved.

♡ Remake the Afton final boss, I may be the only one, but I feel that this one was really underwhelming, I think it should have been longer and required Freddy a lot more, needed a bit more action. Taking from the points above, I feel like it would have been cool if you only had Freddy to be a harder boss and more bearable if you had everyone, or just get progressively easier the more you added to your roster. I also feel like the true ending should be with all of them. Also tell us what happened to Vanny. I feel like none of the endings actually touch all the issues in the pizza plex and while I get the idea behind it, I still feel there should have been one that figures out everything.

♡ I feel like there should be an extra panel named Extras :)) where you can see all things collected throughout your runs, so you don't run into the issue of losing everything just cause you got it after six

♡ this one is really not that important, but I think it would have been cool if there was a chance to do sth so that you can restore the ability to save during the after six am part, not really necessary, just and idea

♡ also more Vanessa, she also barely appeared snd didn't feel like an actual threat.

That's all I can think of for now. If I come up with any other ideas, I'll add them to the list

Thank y'all for taking the time to read this whole thing. Have an awesome night!