#the amazing polymorphous

[my-jokes-are-my-armour]

The amazing polymorphous experience

In the series verse, I like to think that Jaskier and Vespula are in a long terme stormy relationship. Technically she should be his fiancée.

But I like to connect that part to another in between the books and the series. The 'amazing' polymorphous experience Jaskier had 😏.

"The eternal flame" is the story where we originally meet Vespula. But this is also the story of Dudu the Doppler.

And there is a little thing that could link everything together : Dudu being the polymorphous Jaskier had sex with.

At the end of "The eternal flame", Jaskier propose to everyone (Dudu is in the group) to go to the brothel and they accept 😅.

Even Geralt is coming with pleasure 😏. I do not dare mention the possible combinations there !

And with that, this could be why his first thought for Seanchai was a Doppler and his reaction: "I am not not into this !" would be his recall of a certain amazing experience 😋

And why Vespula knows Jaskier had sex with a polymorphous. This is a past adventure she witnessed a part of, and knew the outcome at the brothel later 😅

[impossiblehobbit01]

Haha! Return of the trex!!

[fire-atwill]

The fact that turtles are faster than dragon turtles Broke Me

That is literally the funniest and scariest thing ever. Like on the one hand it’s fucking hilarious that they’re sailing as fast as they can away from a fucking turtle that’s keeping pace with the ship.

And on the other hand holy shit this turtle is gonna sink the ship run run WHY IS IT KEEPING PACE

10/10 comedy, also 100% validates Fjord’s fear of turtles best moment of this campaign

[thelostgirl21]

Vespula (listing Jaskier's past lovers): ... men, women, elves dwarves, polymorphous...

Jaskier: That was just once... and I regret nothing! It was amazing!

My brain, a few days later: Polymorphous... Polymorphous... That's a term for shape shifters, right? How many shape shifters has Jaskier encountered in the...

OH.

Oh...

Oh no...

I think I now know what happened after he finished learning that song...

Batey said they'd fuck, and I think Vespula just confirmed to us that they did!

[theshotsheardacrossworlds]

Bat

Once again got inspired by art. #NotSorry. Set post-game. Agnetha sees a white bat flying around...and wonders why it's squeaking at her. SFW.

Agnetha Wildheart screamed when she saw the white bat flying extremely badly in her and Astarion’s suite at Wildheart Manor. While their new home was being repaired (it’s a larger house overlooking Gray Harbor that sustained some damage when we fought the Netherbrain---it was Astarion’s favorite that we saw) and his tailor shop being built (on the site of my and Nadia’s house that was destroyed during the final battle), they were staying at Wildheart Manor. In my old suite that I had growing up and before I moved in with Nadia. It’s nice to be home, but I can’t wait to be in our home.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCKING HELLS! IT’S A BAT!”

The bat squeaked insistently.

Wait, is it…trying to look me in the eye? And it keeps trying to land on my tits?

She held out her hands in front of her ample chest, and the bat collapsed in a very cute heap.

“SQUEAK! Squeak!!!!”

Uhhhhh…okay. She shook her head. “Sorry, little one. I don’t think I have a Potion of Animal Speaking on me—oh hold on, yes I do!” Walking to her alchemy table, she placed the bat down and found the potion she was looking for. “One moment, sweetie.” She drank the potion and immediately heard a familiar voice.

“DARLING!!! My love! Look! Look what I did!!!” The bat that was indeed Astarion squeaked happily. “I can change shape!”

Agnetha blinked several times at her fiancée. He’s a fucking bat. He’s literally a bat. On my table. He’s a bat on my table. “So, how did you change shape?” What sort of magic bullshit did he get himself into this time?

Astarion flapped his wings. Like he’s excited. Aww, he’s so cute. I should pick him up again. “Oh sweetness, please do carry me around, right against your chest. It’s s-so wonderful, darling.” That was the cutest fucking squeak-yawn I’ve ever heard. “But to answer your question…I’m not sure. I was reading about spawns who managed to break free from their masters---not many of those---and it seems some developed some abilities that a full-blooded vampire has.” He nuzzled his head on the top of her cleavage. “And I thought, ‘What if I changed into a bat?’ And then IT HAPPENED!”

She giggled, supporting his soooooo tiny body with one arm and rubbing circles on her head with her other hand. “You sure you’re not a latent sorcerer, love?”

“No, I most certainly am not! Ooh darling, that feels amazing. Don’t stop. Please.” She changed from his head to taking a small brush (an extra toothbrush from the Elfsong) on his back, and he was like putty in her hand. “Lower, dear. Lower.” He moaned softly. Oh gods, what if—

She began to brush lightly on his behind, earning her an ungodly moan-squeak from Astarion. “You like that?” Awwww his little bum is wiggling! He’s so fucking cute right now that I can’t bloody stand it.

Astarion bit back another moan and cleared his throat. “I’m declaring at least an hour per day to bat time and having this very special treatment. We simply must do this every day.”

She chuckled softly, now focusing on the other side of his cute little bum! Awww! “I think that can be arranged. You’re feeling alright though, love? No lingering effects?” When I’ve accidentally polymorphed in the past, I always felt nauseous.

“No, darling. I’m fine. Don’t worry. You worry too much as it is!” Of course I do! I’m taking a very active role in running the shop and setting things up, overseeing repairs on our home, and trying to find a way for you to walk in the sun again!!! It’s a lot! He nuzzled her softness. “Gods, you’re so warm, my love…”

Putting the brush down, she kissed the top of his very little head. “Do you want me to lie down and pull on a blanket? You’ll be nice and toasty that way, Star.”

He nodded. “Yes…yes please, my little butter bun…”

When I asked him why ‘my little butter bun’ he said it’s because I’m hot, soft, and delicious. He may have been drunk off bear again. Kicking off her shoes, she pulled the covers off and got into their bed with Astarion faceplanted in her plush chest. As she pulled them back up, he was as relaxed as she had ever seen him. “You okay?”

“Perfect, my sweet…you’re so, so warm…and soft…” He sighed into her chest as she rubbed his head with a finger. “And delicious!” He playfully brushed a fang against the top of her breast, and she lightly bonked his head with a grin.

“Excuse you! Dinner is later, love. If you want a little snack now, you can have some from my finger.” Oh my gods, that’ll be so cute. “Naughty little bat.” My naughty little bat. Mine for as long as he wishes.

He let out a contented squeak. “In a little while, sweetness. Want to savor this…”

Agnetha was not sure when she fell asleep but woke a few hours later with her naughty little bat snoring and purring exactly where she left him.

[sandyca5tle]

Slime HRT - Introduction and initial appointment

So, I've been inspired by @/ayviedoesthings (idk etiquette around tagging people you don't know, so gonna avoid the notif for now) 's dragon hrt, alongside all the other ones (bat hrt, dog hrt, and fish hrt) to try my own.

Unfortunately, I'm not much of an artist, so I can't really do a comic like they all have, so I decided to do a written diary instead. This is the first time I've done writing like this, let along putting it out publicly, so constructive critisim is appreciated, but don't be a dick. That being said, on with the show. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, this is the first entry of this diary kind of thing; I've decided to keep this, both since I’ve seen other people doing the same, and because I didn’t do it the first time ‘round and kind of regret that.

Anyway, today I went to the clinic that people have been talking about, the one that I’d heard was handing out non-human/species versions of hrt. It had piqued my interest at first, but I hadn’t been certain, partially believing it might be a joke or a prank or something, but then more and more people began to talk about their own transitions, so I began to research it for myself, eventually working up the courage to seek out my own. When I reached the clinic I was a typical mixture of nervous and excited, and was running what I needed to say through my head a thousand times, to make sure I got it right, while I waited for them to call me.

My  nervousness partially stemmed from the unusual nature of what I was going to ask for. I’d seen people posting about fish hrt, dog hrt, bat hrt, and even dragon hrt, but what I was going to be asking for was even more outlandish.

When one of the staff came to get me, they led me to a room with the name ‘Dr Hans Erian’ on it, and told me to go inside. 

My first thought, as soon as I saw the doctor, was that he looked like an evil mad scientist who had turned good - and honestly, given the magic he was working, he might well have been, assuming it wasn’t actually magic. We greeted one another, and he invited me to sit down across from him at the desk he was behind and we began to talk.

Naturally, he asked me what kind of non-human hrt I wanted, exasperatedly listing off a few standard options, a few of which I'd heard of before. Once he had finished, I told him that I wanted to get ‘shapeshifter hrt’. 

See, while I had been looking online, I had come across so many cool, different kinds of animals and creatures people were turning into that I couldn’t pick just one, so I was hoping that I’d be able to get a hrt that let me any I wanted.

The doctor’s response wasn’t positive, as he swiftly told me that I would not be able to take the medication. My heart dropped when he said that, and I had to fight back my emotions from showing; I had seen so many amazing stories online, and I had been so hopeful despite what I knew was an extreme ask, but it still hurt to hear it was impossible.

I should, however, have waited for the doctor to finish his sentence (although in my defence, he paused at a very bad time) as he went on to say that ‘shapeshifter’, or ‘polymorph’ as it was properly called, hrt was more like an additional medication taken with a non-human treatment after a period, akin to progesterone in feminising hrt.

This renewed my excitement, it was possible, I’d just need to become something else first, then I could become a polymorph from there. Also, I really like the term ‘polymorph’; it felt right. He went on to explain that the polymorph treatment needed a base species, one already predisposed to shapeshifting, so that the polymorph treatment would take. The doctor laid out some options, explaining that they were the best options to work as a base if I wanted the shapeshifting treatment later. There were many cool and interesting options, but the two that stood out most were dragon and slime.

Now I’d seen an example of dragon hrt, and while there were definitely many features I liked from it, the end result wasn’t quite up my street. Slime HRT meanwhile was something I hadn’t really seen before, and the idea of being goopy and fluid sounded very appealing, and seemed like a very malleable base for shapeshifting later on, so I decided on that.

He then pulled out another list, detailing the variety of slime hrt’s that existed, and again, I went through the list and selected the one that most appealed to me - a slime made of sap, liking the idea of being somewhat plant-y, and I even asked if that would mean I’d be able to photosynthesize, the returned ‘yes’ making me even more certain in my decision.

The doctor then pulled out some forms, explaining that while originally there was a requirement for you to live socially as your preferred species for 48 months, but due to demand, and many people pointing out the impossibility for some people to do so, (and I swear I heard him mutter something about too many people kicking his door open), that the clinic had moved to an informed consent model. He slid the forms over and I quickly, but thoroughly read through them, before signing off and sliding them back to him.

While I was reading the forms, I noted some of the ‘side effects’ with a small chuckle to myself - ‘Dissolution of bones’ and ‘Loss of skin and organs’ would have sounded a lot worse on any other kind of medication, but given what this was going to turn me into, those were to be expected, and frankly wanted.

I also noted that the hormones I would be receiving would be administered in gel form, which made sense given I was basically going to become like gel, however, it did prompt me to enquire about how this hrt would mesh with the normal, gender, hrt I was already taking, especially given I was taking that as a gel as well. Fortunately, the doctor explained that I could keep taking both together safely for the first few months, but once the treatment had converted half of my body I could stop, given that at that point my physiology would be changing too much for the human hormones to continue to have much of an effect.

After I had signed the forms, it didn’t take long for the doctor to write up the prescription, and to send me off to get the medicine I’d need. As I’m writing this I’ve just taken my first dose, and looking forward to updating when there is next some developments! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed! Next

[aeor-is-for-reccing]

5+1: A Shadowgast Rec List

This week, we've got ten (five times two, if you will) recs that follow the 5+1 format, and one that's been recced twice! Check under the cut for some sweet fics, some funny, and some that are pretty damn sexy.

A Family Affair, or The Arrival of Verin Thelyss and All That It Entails by Dragonslaeyr (21471, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Five times Caleb encountered Verin Thelyss, and one time he did not. Caleb meets Verin, without knowing who exactly he is, and makes some incorrect assumptions.

Reccer says: It's got peak sibling behavior and a wonderful version of the misunderstanding trope!

Bei Mir Bist Du Schön by Defiler_Wyrm (1956, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Copied from AO3: Caleb has a habit of slipping back into Zemnian when his guard is down. Or: Five times Essek didn’t understand, and one time he absolutely did, the little shit.

Reccer says: I liked it!

where I go, will you still follow? by allmadeofstardust (4330, General) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

5 times Essek didn't kiss Caleb, and 1 time when Caleb realized it didn't even matter.

Reccer says: It's incredibly sweet, with some lovely pining

I Lean In and Kiss Him [Right Here] by Chanse (SpottedEnchants) (11000, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Five times Caleb kisses Essek and one time Essek kisses him back.

Reccer says: I love touch-averse Essek and how Chanse writes their relationship!

Dynamic tension by glittergarbage (7051, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

In which Caleb finds himself being appreciated for something he isn't, usually. OR: Five times Essek is horny on main and one time Caleb is too

Reccer says: The tension between them is amazing, but I love the way that Caleb has to interrogate his own masculinity - that he sees himself as rather scrawny and unremarkable, but Essek sees him as large and muscular - and the sexual dynamic where the cis male is the smaller one wearing lingerie and the trans guy is allowed to top is delicious.

Kryn Dynasty Skincare 101 by soot_and_salt (3571, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Here are 5 times Essek buys some Xhorhasian skincare and one time he doesn't have to.

Reccer says: It's cute and funny, and Essek's high maintenance skin care compared to the Nein's adventuring-friendly routines is a great source of comedy.

Altered State of Mind by Defiler_Wyrm (6835, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Five times Caleb used polymorph to escape his problems, and one time he used it to solve them

Reccer says: I love the explorations of different times he would use it in emotional situations, and the ending has me laughing every time

I do, five times over, I do by TormentaPrudii (12896, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Five times Caleb and Essek get married to other people and the one time they get married to each other, kinda.

Reccer says: It's got great pinings and misunderstandings - a gorgeous fic with gorgeous art!

(we share this) space and time by SaltCore (4155, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Five times Essek takes a long moment and a bit of dunamancy to appreciate Caleb, and one time he gets caught.

Reccer says: I liked it!

And then two recs for this last one!

we never do go over (we always gotta go through) by Chrome (17169, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Set after the last fight with the Tombtakers, five times Essek woke up with level(s) of exhaustion and one time he didn't.

Reccer 1 says: I love how Essek is getting cared for by the M9 and the soft beginning of his and Caleb’s relationship, while getting out of Aeor. Reccer 2 says: There's so much care in the interactions

Aeor is for Lovers is an 18+ Shadowgast Discord server. The above fanfic recommendations were pulled from our community for this weekly event. All fics, unless otherwise specified, will primarily feature Shadowgast. Have any questions about what this is? Check out the FAQ! Next week, we’ll be back with fics featuring them cohabitating/moving in together!

[snazzyscarf]

happy pride month.  i was watching the video from this post a minute ago and left my own comments & thoughts in the tags about how humans have pushed our own concepts of sex & gender onto other animals in nature and decided to make my own post abt it bc its something that i find really interesting

so i really love Ants, right.  and one of the main things i find interesting is that Sure, most ants in a colony are “technically” female with one (or a few) being able to reproduce.  and Sure, a couple ants in a generation that can mate with them are “technically” male.  but those terms Vastly simplify colony dynamics for the sake of equating them to our own human views on The Sexes TM.

like, there’s already a term for “male ants!!” they’re called Drones! just call them Drones, there’s no need to tack “male” on there.

similarly with Queens vs Workers! they’re both referred to as female despite there being major differences in their biological functions. “reproductive females” and “non-reproductive females” They Already Have Names. its Queens and Workers.

we’re so attached to our human concept of there only being two sexes that we apply it to creatures like ants who arguably have Three!! and even THAT is an oversimplification of colony dynamics! different species have even more niche roles like majors and minors (even repletes in honeypot ants!) and it’s FASCINATING!!

and sure, i understand that gendered terms are used to make the roles of these ants easier to understand colloquially, but i argue that doing this only further prevents people from being open to learning about and understanding the differences between sex & gender as a whole. like!! teaching children and adults about sexual polymorphism could be a GREAT introduction into understanding that biology is incredibly varied and how that is a good thing. it’s an amazing and cool thing, even! and i think that being upfront about it when educating people in layman’s terms would lead people to be much more open to the idea that there is more going on under the surface in Human biology.  and from there—gender!

it’s just like. clinging to what you were taught in Human Bio 101 prevents you from learning about so many of the wonderful and fascinating parts of the world we live in and its honestly really sad. what i’ve said about ants just now is only scratching the surface!! i really and truly believe that binary thinking is one of the most difficult barriers to overcome in our society, but i promise you that once you’re over that wall the world becomes so much more beautiful <3

[yellowstonewolves]

Why I’m taking every Bg3 companion to get spayed right now immediately

Tav: I’m not arguing with a Tav. Whatever you say, beautiful. I just put you in here to ask what mod u used to get that pretty hair?!!

Durge: knows what they did. More or less.

Lae’zel: says pretty clearly she doesn’t want kids which saves me the time of listing out the other ten thousand reasons she shouldn’t have them.

Shadowheart: She should be in the Club!!!

Wyll: Now Wyll is interesting. He has many positive fatherly qualities but he’s been burdened by responsibility his whole life he doesn’t need more. Also he seems pretty into the whole wandering hero thing rn. Also also if his kid got so much as a nasty cough you know he’d instantly be making another devil pact about it. His dad is one thing this is his fucking baby.

Karlach: Approved of you licking the spider. Generally adhd in a way that’s probably not conducive to being a great parent but god she’d be an amazing fun aunt. (Also bc of her ending but shut up it’s fine she’s fine everything is good and happy for her all the time.)

Astarion: Listen. Listen to me. Yes he broke the cycle of abuse (unless he didn't) yes we’re all proud of him (unless we aren't). But he absolutely should not reproduce. Shouldn’t even babysit. He would be a good uncle though-the kind that shows a kid a bunch of fun card tricks and tells stories about their parent’s wild days but will say something psychologically devastating the moment the kid gets too bratty. He is the life lesson relative.

Gale: I don’t want to deal with Gale’s spoiled brat children. The man would be such a fucking pushover like goddd. “You were supposed to ground them, how did you end up going out for ice cream instead?” “I don’t know :(” I think he also says he’s not ready for kids in game but it’s pretty clear that he would True Polymorph himself a uterus the moment Tav asked nicely so that’s not great evidence. Or maybe in a way it is.

Halsin: Commitment issues obviously. If Tav knocked up he would offer to stand by them because he’s aware it’s the right thing to do and “I’m 350 years old, 18 years isn’t so long in the scheme of things” then six months later he leaves to go “commune with nature” and that’s the last you see of him for like twelve years. He’ll probably claim he got kidnapped by goblins again. Sure he did. Suuuure he did.

Minthara: is Minthara.

[marvelousbelladonna]

Bor’Dor is amazed by a bell

Putting more into that “he’s a polymorphed dog” theory

[randompolykin]

Intro Post

Welcome To The Storm.

i have been procrastinating making one of these for a while now so here you go.

I don't know how people can post their names on here, or their ages. Like what :0 I could not do that. (So if you need to refer to me, you can do so by my username) I do feel comfortable telling you this stuff:

I am pronounfluid, but because this is online you can use they them, ey em, it it's. Or here's my greater pronoun hoard: ze zir, fog fogs, glitch glitches, ghost ghosts, void voids, fang fangs, calm calms, comfort comforts, gray grays, cloud clouds, storm storms, cabin cabins, library libraries, bookstore bookstore's, that that's, thing things, end ends, fin fins (like French for end), shadow shadows, rust rusts, forest forest's and that's not even it but i have to stop somewhere.

The labels I use to identify my gender identity are genderfluid, nonbinary, transgender, genderflux, xenogender, fluidflux, and specifically genderspirit. At least that's the basics.

When it comes to fandoms I'm at a massive burnout that I blame wings of fire for. So I can't get super duper obsessed over a fandom for a long period of time thanks to wof. But I still consider myself apart of these fandoms they just haven't taken over my life and consumed me for 3 years (except wof)

Ones I am more actively eating:

The amazing digital circus

Centaurworld

Maybe wof again because one of my friends are getting into it?

I think that's it for the more active ones

Now the ones that are less active (of me Engaging with this interest)

good omens (I'm sure when season three comes out I'll be obsessed with it again)

Shera and the princesses of power

The owl house

Wof unless my friend sucks me back in?

I am probably forgetting something but it's one am so you can't blame me

Also who knows if I just randomly become obsessed over something just because so yeah...

Kay so this is mainly an otherkin blog, and when not otherkin alterhuman and when not that who knows? So I should talk about my kintypes here which is kinda not set in stone with some kinsidering and questioning being a polymorph but here it goes anyway because I can edit this post and I want to have an intro post:

Catkin (black domestic and black panther, for type of panther Jaguar fits the best but a black panther on its own fits too)

Dragonkin (red western fire and eastern sky/water especially a tatsu)

Everything else I have less faith in but everytime I've requested it my answer it's been a yes so it's just the imposter syndrome/fear of being wrong because these kintypes are newer-ly discovered even if I have been in denial for a long time with some

Gray/part of a storm cloud, cloud

Military tank

Attack helicopter (I know, I know, now shush I can't deal with the trolls or being seen as one shush your mouth)

Wooden chair

Slinky

Cryptid (in general but I do have a couple specific ones too and I bet the more I look into cryptids the list will grow)

Cabincore

OCkin

Seraphkin (the type of angel)

Demonkin

Although there are certain theories on why I am certain kintypes that I prefer and even act like it's set in stone, in the end idk whatever so just keep that in mind

Circutypes

(circutypes are identitie(s?) similar to the label cladotherian or more so ambitherian, but instead of being exclusive to types of animals is a species, it extends beyond that. The creator @mx-werebat created it to describe being a bat therian, bat plushiekin and a bat (related?) fictional character. But basically it's a label to describe one nonhuman identity that extends to/ is made up of other nonhuman identities that are a interconnected. This label fits me two times

The first on is less sure/put together than the second one

Mimic

Shadow being (maybe just shadows too idk)

This statue creature that's an original species might count idk yet

Questioning being a void but that might just be part of my fictotype.

A run-along

And now my second circutype that makes more sense!

Deer skull creature is what I consider the base name for it now what this includes is

A deer skull fictional character/monster the nowhere king (which is my profile pic!) which is from centaurworld

Two (OCs? Maybe just original species? I am still figuring out how these two identities work) that are deferent types of deer skulled original creatures

A leshen (and an ancient leshy) from the witcher (I have not interacted with the fandom or played the games, watched the show etc I just stumbled upon it looking for what this kintype was and it fit)

And questioning being a deer skull itself. If not then this is probably a para type or something?

I don't actually think I said all my kintypes but I dont care that much right now I need to get this post over with it's already two am

So here are my heart types:

Crow

Tortoise

Sloth

Ghost

Zombie

Clown

Rainwing (it's a type of dragon from wings of fire)

Nightwing (also wof dragon)

Now onto other things you should know about me and some silly not as important but also interesting ones:

I am afraid of being wrong

I have trust/opening up issues

I probably have undiagnosed anxiety of some kind but have yet to do research on it

I probably have long term depression. But I think ranting to Tumblr is helping a bit so RN I'm more on the emotionally numb side but still depressed I think.

I have associative synesthesia and the types I care to name are olp, grapheme-color and chromesthesia but I know of more things that are probably types with their own names that I have.

I'm a vegetarian (it's funny because a bunch of my kintypes are carnivores or really like eating meat)

I'm a furry and have this going on where I'm turning my animal kin and heartypes into furry OCs and fursonas but I haven't gotten far in it. I'm also questioning being my protogen oc

I will probably start coining xenonatured labels because no one else will because they don't know that term exists so I shall be the one to get others to join.

Uh I might post random art doodles idk tho.

Besides that mostly I'll post and reblog alterhuman stuff (mainly otherkin probably)

When it comes to a tagging system I am trying to make one but most of my posts from before this one probably don't follow it anyway here it is (altho I might forget to tag a reblog as reblog sorry if I do)

#reblog (these are simply reblogs. Can be of anything. These will not have me adding my thoughts in tags or replies)

#my reply (reblogs with my reply/my thoughts on it/ad ons, also might be tagged with #my ad ones (if it's adding on to what the poster is saying specific vs a reply of anykind))

#my reply tags (same thing but in the tags specifically. Add on version is #my tag ad ons)

#not ah related (not alterhuman related, includes reblogs)

#not ok related (not otherkin related, alterhuman related posts that are not otherkin related are included here)

#i am a mess of kinsidering (a ranty vent post about my lastest kintype to question or re-question or be confused over want to classify an identity as beyond otherkin, etc)

#silly post time (silly posts, not reblogs. This would be me making a post that says "nom nom nom garbage" and # it with therian and otherkin tags. Can be ah, ok, and not related.) (if not ah or ok related I will put those tags in)

#silly reblogs (me rebloging these types of posts)

#serious post (speaking up about an issue or trying to spread the word about something important etc)

#serious reblog (same as ⬆️ but a reblog)

#positivity spreading throu rb (rebloging a positivity spreading post. can include #my ad ones posts)

#positivity spreading post (a positivity spreading post originally made by me)

#term coining yay (coined terms not by me but that I have rebloged)

#oh me terms yas (term coining posts by others that have a term I want to use/represent me)

#save (posts I want saved for any reason.)

#saving this to show my friend in case their ah (I'm pretty sure one of my friends I alterhuman but I'm not sure so I'll show them certain posts and see if they relate)

That's all I can think of for now and it's already three am so I'm gonna add my user boxes and go to bed!

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #317: BUSINESS AS USUAL

May, 1990

Guest-starring the Amazing Spider-Man -- -- But not for long!

Okay. That almost makes all the "Guest-starring the Amazing Spider-Man" cover captions worth it.

Can't believe Peter Parker, Spider-Man is going to die in an Avengers book.

Well, it is the 90s. He's better off dead in space.

Zing.

Anyway.

Last times in Avengers: Nebula accidentally broke the universe in an attempt to gain unfathomable power. The Avengers and special-guest Spider-Man fix the universe. Then, chase her to her spaceship but find that her prisoner Starfox has already freed himself and zonked out Nebula and her crew.

And then the Stranger bursts through the wall, very mad at Nebula.

Perhaps because her media footprint is unfathomably bigger than his in modern times. Or maybe because she stole a thing from him.

Both equally likely.

The Stranger really did just OH YEAH through the hull of the spaceship like the Kool-Aid Man.

Good thing for vague sci-fi technology that keeps all the air from rushing out.

Then again, all the heroes that need to breath have air buckets on their head.

Show of hands: who would be broken up if Gunthar the Rigellian died of no air?

Actually, the best part of this being the start of the issue is that Nebula is STILL zonked out by Starfox's pleasure power so she's smiling and not treating any of this seriously.

Spider-Man tries to tell the Stranger about the pleasure power zonking. But he first pulls continuity receipts and reminds the Stranger that they met in Marvel Team-Up #55.

The Stranger remembers but doesn't care. So he fucks off with Nebula someplace where there's less interruption.

The Avengers and special guest Spider-Man all take a moment to reflect on how little a shit the Stranger gave about them. Like they were nothing to him, what with his cosmic might.

Which is definitely the exact case.

Thor: "Mayhap, to a being of such enormous powers, our presence was unimportant." Sersi: "It was almost... demeaning." Spider-Man: "Well, I get de-meaning of it. We're good enough for him!" Captain America: "Be that as it may, troops -- we've got a job to do!" Spider-Man: "innocuously slinking back home, maybe?" Captain America: "We have to find out why the Stranger was so intent on getting Nebula!"

... Do you though?

You saved the universe. You were nearby when Starfox saved himself. Nebula will be less of a problem in the Stranger's custody. That's space justice. What more do you have to do here?

That aside, love this exchange.

Having Spider-Man around certainly does add something to the banter.

Cap asks Sersi to try to psychically scan the Stranger but she puts her foot down.

She's still exhausted from scanning the world and also holding that communications room together and Cap wants her to poke around the brain of a cosmic being?

Captain America: "All right then, I understand -- but if you are going to be an Avenger, we'll soon have to gauge the extents and limits of your abilities!"

Well one limit is not poking around the brain of a cosmic being.

He has a point though.

Sersi's powers are less straightforward than a lot of Avengers.

She's psychic: but how psychic?

She can transform matter but what are the limitations on that? Can she just transform anyone the Avengers fight into pigs? Could she polymorph Thanos? Or does it only work on mooks?

Anyway, the Avengers rush toward trouble and...

Hey, you remember last issue how the space Quinjet was dwarfed by Nebula's spaceship?

Well, Nebula's ship is dwarfed by the Stranger's.

He's a big cosmic man and he needs a big cosmic ship.

(Big in this case is estimated by Spider-Man to mean the size of Argentina.)

Spider-Man: "Uhm... Listen, guys, much as I'd like to invade a ship roughly the size of Argentina... shouldn't we reconsider, or plan a comprehensive strategy... or run and hide somewhere?" Captain America: "This is all in a day's work, son. If you're going to be an Avenger, you'll have to learn to deal with the unexpected!"

To which Spider-Man thinks "Okay, the unexpected I can deal with... as long as I'm expecting it, that is..."

Cap makes plans for the Avengers and special new recruit Spider-Man to be ferried across by the fliers, while Iron Man stays behind and makes sure all of Nebula's henchmen are secured.

But before they even leave, they're interrupted by the Stranger not taking kindly to them even thinking about barging into his house/spaceship.

He sends over a robot called Blockade. Who has his one and only appearance in this issue.

Like his name suggests, he's here to put up a stern hand and tell the Avengers to stop getting involved.

And on top of the robot telling them to kindly fuck off, the Stranger even astral projects and doubles down on the message.

Avengers, kindly fuck off. The Stranger has this handled.

Captain America tells the Stranger that they can't leave until they find out what the Stranger wants with Nebula.

The Stranger really does just want the Avengers to kindly fuck off because instead of pulling the 'nunya bizness' card, he exposits.

That or he's a comic book character who secretly loves any excuse to spill the tea.

The Stranger reveals that Nebula stole from him. Which we knew but the Avengers didn't. Not that Cap is surprised. This is the most in-character crime he could have heard Nebula was accused of.

But she specifically stole from his homeworld, while he was gone doing whatever the Stranger does. And his homeworld is so well-hidden and so well-guarded that nobody had ever heisted him before.

Nebula is like Space Black Cat. Was like. I think modern Nebula, because of the movies, has a skillset more tailored towards assassination.

But back in the day, Nebula ran with a crew of pirates and was a super-duper space thief.

It was thanks to her best minion Gunthar, who is a Rigellian and not a penguin, that she was able to strike while the Stranger was gone. Rigellian tracking tech, yo.

Although, despite him being essential to this heist, Nebula isn't afraid to claim credit for herself for this bit.

And what Nebula stole was "the most powerful weapon in the multiverse."

Which I'd guess was the Ultimate Nullifier or the Infinity G- oh wait, we haven't revealed how powerful the gems are yet.

But Infinity is still the word to throw around to make things sound important.

Because she steals the Infinity Union!

Which is three devices mooshed together which combined can channel "all forms of ambient energy into the user!"

Hey, the Stranger, why do you have this? Why does it even exist?

Like, the Ultimate Nullifier and the Infinity Gems have gotten explanations for why they're even a thing. But why build three devices and then smoosh them together to control all ambient energy and then just leave it in a storage room somewhere? Why?

And this Infinity Union really didn't have any staying power or maybe it got overshadowed by the Infinity Gauntlet in a couple years but the Union doesn't even have it's own page on marvel wiki.

(I do like that the Stranger's homeworld is so unfathomably huge that it takes Nebula and Gunthar two hours just to cross the room to get to the Infinity Union.)

Also, while Spider-Man's silly jokes were appreciated last time, he's apparently running thin his welcome.

Jokingly comparing an Infinity Union to the teamsters causes the Stranger to call Spider-Man an idiot. And when Spider-Man jokes that it sounds like a rerun that they're saving the universe right after saving the universe, Thor tells him, hey bud, this is serious time.

Meanwhile, Iron Man and Starfox have finished interrogating the zonked out Gunthar, who has given them basically the same exposition about the Infinity Union.

Iron Man: "But what does Nebula want with such a weapon, Gunthar?" Gunthar: "What she has always wanted, Earthling -- ultimate power -- and the attainment of her goal, the chance to create ultimate entropy -- the death of all there is!" Iron Man: "That's insane! It would wipe her out, too!" Gunthar: "That is not my concern -- I only serve my mistress in being the sole player in this deadly gambit! If any other than Nebula touches the device, it will annihilate this entire sector of space!"

Hang on. Nebula's goal is to wipe out all life?

I call bullshit.

For one thing: Why would she want that? Thanos wanted something like that at various points. Because he thought it would make Death want to smooch him. He had personal reasons for doing what he did.

Nebula is going around telling everyone she's the granddaughter of Thanos. Later, it will turn out, that she's lying for clout.

But every Nebula appearance (discounting the Kang Nebula, since we've reached retcon territory on that) has had her want power for the sake of power. She wants conquest.

When she accidentally broke the universe, instead of being thrilled, she was annoyed that she was close to achieving infinite power and now had nothing to use it on.

Is this a swerve? Byrne deciding in his last issue to just change directions? Or did Fabian Nicieza add this in when he finished up this issue? Is Gunthar an idiot?

Let's assume Gunthar is an idiot.

Stupid, dumb Gunthar.

Anyway, Iron Man leaves Starfox to watch the stupid, dumb prisoners and flies off to go warn the Avengers not to touch the thing.

Do you not have radios? Communicators in some fashion? You're wearing a computer and Vision is a computer. And you can't just ring him up?

Get your shit together, Stark.

In the medical-science section of the Stranger's "continent-sized spaceship" (so Spider-Man was way off when he thought it was only the size of Argentina), the Stranger continues to be annoyed that Nebula's brain is still zonked.

Medical crystals! What, is this Kryptonian tech?

Because of the zonk (the pleasure zonk) from Starfox, the Stranger can't probe Nebula's brain for where she hid the Infinity Union.

And he knows her intentions for it are bad.

Also, weirdly, the turning off the universe plot is relevant here. All the energies gathered by the compressor have been absorbed by the Infinity Union. So if Nebula uses it, she'll become even more infinitely powerful than she already would have.

I guess that links the stories together.

Considering all the build-up was for the compressor, this part of the plot feels rickety. It feels almost like we're in a post-script season. We had this story about Spider-Man helping the Avengers when the universe goes all photo-negative and now we're in a different but linked plot.

Him joking about going from the universe being at stake to the universe being at stake, feels a little self-aware in that light.

The Stranger tries a stronger PSYCHIC PROBE on Nebula's ship but all he accomplishes is causing agony to the Avengers. Even Vision. And his brain is a computer.

This is apparently a bridge too far for Captain America.

Captain America: "Enough is ENOUGH! Anything that is wanted that badly by people like Nebula and the Stranger shouldn't be had by either of them! It's our responsibility to find this Infinity Union before they do -- and once we find it -- destroy it forever!"

I'm not sure it IS the Avengers' responsibility. The thing is the Stranger's and he did have it pretty well under lock and key. Well, before Nebula stole it.

Hm. Maybe do destroy it.

Iron Man shows up to back up Cap and explain that the Union is booby-trapped to blow if anyone other than Nebula touches it.

So Cap tells the Avengers to split up to cover more ground that way. But if you find the Infinity Union, don't touch it!

... Hey. Do they even know what it looks like?

They're going to search an entire huge spaceship and not even know what the thing they're looking for is?

Great plan, Cap.

Spider-Man is getting a little nervous about what he signed up for.

Spider-Man: "Sure is one heckuva way to spend my first hour as an Avenger! The really scary thing is that these guys play for keeps each and every day! Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man is a little more used to your common type of thugs. Like Doc Ock or Hobgoblin, or geez, even Leap Frog! Saving the planet as an appetizer, then the universe as a main course is a little out of my league! Well, they say the cream rises to the top so maybe it's time to curdle up and hide!"

Quite a bait and switch this story is pulling. Insisting Spider-Man would be a perfect Avenger in one issue and then having him second-guess it the next.

I did dimly realize that obviously Spider-Man didn't become an Avenger in this era. But one can't be faulted for hoping.

Now, that's a What If? I'd like to see. What Ifs Spider-Man joined the Avengers for this story and for the one where Monica Rambeau joined.

But despite Spider-Man not wanting to be involved, he turns out to be the best guy to find the Infinity Union. It's so dangerous that it's setting off his spider-sense and by playing hot and cold with the headache it gives him, he's able to find where the thinger is hidden.

He can't figure out how to open the door so he just rips it open.

Despite Cap telling him not to touch, Spider-Man worries that the Stranger or Nebula might stumble in and find it before he can get the others so he tries to snag it with a web-line so he can drag it without touching it buuuuut

I guess he activated Gunthar's trap card.

Looks like Spider-Man is super dead now. We'll have to bring in Ben Reilly early.

Meanwhile, back on Earth in Manhattan, Quasar arrives at the Avengers Construction Site.

I legit forgot that he was sorta one of the core members right now.

Even Quasar comments on the fact that he's been so busy in his own book that he hasn't done a lot of Avengersing.

Quasar sees that not as much construction has happened as he's expected and weirdly the Avengers Sub-Basement is pretty abandoned. John Jameson and whoever else apparently ditched between issues.

But Jarvis is in the communications room... a communications room? That one communications room is still hanging off the PolyDyne building.

Anyway, Quasar goes to see Jarvis in a communications room, where Jarvis explains in brief where the Avengers are. Before the monitors explode in their faces.

Since it makes the same SHEEKAK noise, this is probably Spider-Man's fault.

Looks like Jameson was right. Spidey is a threat AND a menace.

This extended Spider-Man story guest starring Avengers ends next time. But our next time is back over to Avengers West Coast for a weird fill-in which is also technically part of the arc Byrne was setting up before he left.

Follow @essential-avengers for more fun times. Fun not guaranteed. Offer void where prohibited. Like, comment, reblog, and whatever else. But only if you want.

[grigori77]

Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 91

A long episode with an ominous title ... yeah, this can't bode well at all ...

Sam's a cat again. Great ... oh, Taliesin's a mouse? Of course he is. This is more like it ... Travis is loving this already ... ah, short but sweet, definitely ... oh yeah, I totally agree with Ashley, massive Donnie Darko vibes ... XD

Liam: "I want Sam and Tal to reenact that scene from The Shining." Um ... okay? O.O

So, picking up right where we left off, then ... chaos, and LOTS of craziness, with VERY heavy implications ...

Oh, so Liliana is HUNTING, now? For them in particular? Or just ... ANYTHING? Hmmm ...

Yes, SHUSH, Pate! You're REALLY loud right now ...

Chetney-wolf: "Hold onto my tail! Tighter!" Stop it, Travis ... XD

This is going to be a complicated getaway, clearly ...

PANIC!!! Great ... how long is it gonna be before they get spotted? CAN THEY get away from this?

Mystics? Crap ... "a Murder of Mystics" ... yeah ...

A little on-the-run healing and repair work ...

Balls, good point ... yeah, they have NO IDEA where they are or where they're going ... and now Ashley's cocking dice all over the place ... O.O

Oh, this can't be good ...mystical shenanigans ... FUCK!!! Invisibility is now GONE!!! Shit! Oh this is SO FUCKING BAD ...

PLEASE don't tell me they just lost their Telepathic Bond too ... oh for the love of the GODS, Matthew, you cruel bastard ... NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOO!!!

Hide! Just fucking HIDE, people!

Wow ... Taliesin rolled amazing, but Sam and Ashley rolled BALLS on Stealth ... that's so bad ... oh shit, and now they've got GLoamglut RIGHT ABOVE THEM!!! Ouch ... does it see them? Oh no, Fearne, PLEASE do not try to PET the fucking thing!

Marisha: "There are no dumb ideas in D&D!" Are you SERIOUS? OF COURSE there are!

AAAAAAAAAND now they're blown ... good one, Fearne! Now they're coming down ...

Ashton, WHAT THE FUCK are you doing? Oh, that's right, HE IS still in his powered state ... 32 points of damage on the wall? Holy fuck ... oh yeah, that's just a FANTASTIC distraction/escape ... nice! Just run. RUN!!!

Another wall? Oh yeah ... BOOM!!! Ashton's just a demolition MACHINE right now ...

NOW he's knocking down a building they're not even going into ... bit overly much for cover, isn't it? Jeeze, Ashton ... STOP ENCOURAGING THIS, Matthew!

Oh yeah, they're TOTALLY broadcasting their location now ...

Seriously, just HIDE while you got cover, seriously ...

Crap, Dex saves for the three of them? O.O ... oh hell, what's that fucking Fay dragon gonna do? Darkfire? Oh hell ... whoa, 16 points is HALF damage? Ow ...

Oh, NOW Imogen's casting Invisibility? Yes, do that ...

Evoroa gives directions ... yes, good move ... do that now!

Quart mile away? No, HALF of that? Hmmm ...

Back to the panicked chase ... RUN RUN RUN!!!

Can they fit through that? Ashton's going under, apparently ... just SQUEEZE guys ... yeah, shquish in those fantastic tits and that luscious butt, Fearne! Crap, it's coming again! I hate that fucking dragon!

Oh wow, the Sorrowlord speaks! He knows she's here! Crap!

Pass Without a Trace! Finally!

Fearne: "Do we need to cut off your wheels?" FCG: "127 hours!" Cue sawblade startup whir ...

Wow, Zathuda is actually MONOLOGUING ... Fearne: "Can you say all that again?" LOL ...

Fungus? Great ... Annihilation? Cool ...

"Pussy in Bio"? Nice flask nonsense this time, Samuel ...

PEG IT!!! Once it's clear, anyway ...

Polymorph, yes ... a "moon thing"? Hmmmm ... so she turns FCG into a Slither ... okay ... and then she Wildshapes into one too ... okay, get tunneling guys!

Ah, yes ... where ARE THEY going?

A Survival roll? Oh boy ... 28? Nice one, Ashley! Heading back towards their exit, then ...

And so back to the others ...

A Wisdom save IMMEDIATELY? Fuck, Matthew ... 15? Hmm ... wait, THAT'S not good enough? Shit! O.O

Laudna: "You're not like a sleeper agent, are you?" No, really, please don't even put that karma OUT THERE!

The Sprawl Grotto? Cool ...

Yeah, they don't know WHERE they're going right now ...

Bronze fountain! OKay ... oh hell, what's THIS shit?

And now they're very effectively TRAPPED. Great ... is this them SPECIFICALLY, or just general? Oh, it's DEFINITELY for them ... not good ...

SHIT!!! LIliana is now RIGHT ABOVE THEM ... "Did ... you ... KNOW?!!!"

Is Imogen REALLY gonna try and bluff this? Wow ...

Oh, so she has been THROUGH IT ...

The locket? Oooooh ... O.O

Can she talk her down? Get through to her somehow? COME ON ... Persuasion roll? Oh boy ... 16? Whoa ... um ... is that enough?

Wait ... DID THAT just work?

Yeah, just RUN ...

Oh, for fuck's sake ... NOW what? Damn it, more mystics? Crap ... oh yeah, they're proper BUSTED ... crap, this is the ACTUAL Weave Mind?

Oh, so this MIGHT be an illusion? Hmmm ...

Hold on, are they doing something to Chet? Crazy werewolf shit? Crap ... and Travis totally fails that save ... O.O ... bollocks, this is so bad ... Sam: "Quick! Distract them with a toy!"

Liam: "If we keep making these jokes for 30 minutes we won't have to deal with this problem!" LOL

Orym is choosing NOW to invoke Nana Morri ... oh boy ...

What just happened?

Nothing immediately around, but they're in the area ... just GO. Right now, just FUCKING GO. RIGHT NOW.

Back to the Burrowers ...

It's oh so quiet ... that CANNOT be good ... yeah, just BOOK IT ... nuts, more mystics ...

Oh, they FOUND THEM? Okay ... yeah, just FOLLOW THEM!!! Quick!

Going up? Yes, seems the smart way to go.

Yeah, they DO NOT speak Slither ... aaaaand they're finally back together ... in the most ridiculous way possible ... XD

Yeah, sending a merssage to the Volition would probably be the smart move right now ... maybe they could send somebody to find you ...

So, where to go now?

Imogen Sends to Rashinna ... so the safehouse is out ... hmmm ... so they're just going to have to find alternative digs ...

OOh ... yeah, do that! A giant mole sounds so cool ... like that one in City of Ember! O.O That'd be sweet ...

FCG's still a Slither? Oh boy ...

Crap! What's this? Oh no, what the fuck ... PLEASE don't be fucking Otohan! No ... NO!!! Fuck ... that bitch is SO FUCKING CLOSE now ... hell ... JUST RUN, guys!

Ashton pops up out the ground and SMACKS THE ROOF OF THE TUNNEL with his hammer once they're through ... smart and sweet ... oh fuck ... you mean he COULD collapse the whole thing? Thankfully not ... phew!

Bollocks, Otohan is COMING!!! Fuck ...

RUN!!! JUST FUCKING RUN!!!

Crap ... SHE'S FOUND THEM!!! They're in deep shit ... AND NOW he chooses to call a break? Seriously? Matthew!

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck ... and now he's producing a Battlemap ... AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! Cut Wizzkids plug! Also FUCK!!!

Fuck me ... is the rest of this episode JUST gonna be combat? Gods no ... I'm not ready for this ...

ROLL INITIATIVE!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

So ... Orym's up first ... he slips between her leags and turns round to attack her fancy backpack ... OKAY!!! A Crit! Go, wee man! 38 points of damage! Yeah! Another hit! Yeah! ANOTHER Crit! Sweet! 25 points ... anmd she's Hexed too ... nice ...

Legendry Action? Crap ... Telekinetic Control? Fuck ... and even with Indomitable Orym can't resist it ... she flings him like a ragdoll! Ouch!

Laudna unleashes her Hellhoud because she is FURIOUS right now! Yeah ... FCG names the pooch Caviar? Cute ... now she Banes Otohan ... goody!

Otohan dashes off ... giving the Hellhound an attack of opportunity ... which fails ... crap! She attacks Chetney ... oof ... 27 points of slashing damage! Ow! Plus the Psionic knocks him prone ... another 16 points with additional Force? Argh ... and another 13 plus 9 more ... AND another hit? 13 plus 10! Fuck ... he is BARELY alive now ... O.O

fuck, and she has ANOTHER attack with an offhand weapon? Fuck ... ACTION SURGE?!!! Matthew NO!!! PLEASE don't do this! Silvery Barbs from Laudna ... which fails? Shit! Fuck ... and now he's OUT!!! She keeps hitting him, 2 IMMEDIATE Death Saves ... argh ...

Fuyck ... she just straight MURDERED him ... LAST WORDS? What the fuck?

Sweet fuck ... CHETNEY'S FUCKING DEAD?!!! Are you serious, Matt?

Now she's going after Fearne? FUCK!!! No ... and now SHE'S on the ground too ... fuck!

Ashton pops up out of the ground RIGHT IN FRONT of Fearne to block the coming attack ... he swings at her with the hammer ... "Gosh, you got a punchable fucking face!" 23 points of damage and he knocks her back HARD ... Density Well? OKay ... he batters a nearby platform and knockd it RIGHT ONTO HER ... YES!!! She sort of dodges so it's just a glancing hit ... he's monochrome now ...

Otohan rushes Imogen ...

Fearne is FURIOUS about Chetney as she flames on like the Human Torch! Nice! Oh, nice fiery Fearne mini, Matt! O.O She comes in right behind the bitch ...

Oh, so Otohan's like doing MONK SHIT? Fuck ...

FCG goes to Chetney's corpse and casts Revivify at 7th Level ... please ... please please PLEASE let this work ... come on, Changebringer! Come thorugh in clutch ... please ... YES!!! THE WOLFMAN IS ALIVE AGAIN!!! Thank fuck ...

Caviar! Attack! Kill this bitch, you wonderful Hellhoud! 19 MISSES? Seriously? Fuck ...

Otohan attacks Imogen ... 14 points of Force damage ... she gets knocked BACK but not down, at least ...

Imogen Telkinetically grabs the backpack and tries to tear it right off her ... oh wow ... and it WORKS!!! Oh yes! Let's go! She pounds it into the ceiling and smashes it to fuck! BEAUTIFUL!!! She grabs her hand and casdts Shocking Grasp ... go go go ... 14 points of damage! Yes!

Orym Misty Steps to her and pulls a Bat & Switch with Imogen, then takes a swing ... NAT20!!! YEAH!!! 23 points of slashing damage! Then 14 points! A Crit! 28 points! VENGEANCE!!! YES!!! Go wee man!

Laudna drops a 5th Level Blight on the bitch ... oh fuck, Legendary RESISTANCE? Damn it ... whoa ... 51 damage? Even halved that is SWEET ... Eldritch Blast! Yeah! Hit! Hit! And another hit! SWEET!!! 13 damage, then 15, then another 15! YEAH!!!

Now Otohan goes for Imogen again? Oh for fuck's sake ... thankfully she fails miserably ... second hits though ... ouch ... Orym to the rescue! Nice defence! And Silvery Barbs from Laudna! Yes ...

She keeps going for Imogen ... she is just POURING the hurt on ... and now she's going for Orym? Hmmm ...

Three way attack of opportunity? Fearne CRITS IT!!! Nice! 16 damage! Yeah ... Orym gbets another 22 on her ...

Now she goes for Laudna ... just hits her Mirror instead ... and the second ... and the third ... but then gets her with a CRIT!!! Oof ... 14 slashing and 12 Force damage ... ow ... and she's knocked down ...

Chetney shakes off the rust ... as he flanks he Misty Steps to Imogen and pours a healt potion into her for 12 points back, then slopes back away to safety ...

Ashton powers up as close as he can to Otohan, then holds until she gets into range ...

Otohan uses anothe Legendary Action to attack Laudna ... 10 points of slahsing damage and 18 of Force ... ow ...

Fearne casts 6th Level Blight on her ... gah, only half? 39, down to 18 ... fuck's sake ... it's STARTING to take a toll, but still ...

She's going for Laudna AGAIN?!!! Fuck ...

FCG rolls towards Orym, then pulls a mass Cure Wounds on everyone. ALL OF THEM get 23 points back except himself ...

Caviar attacks again and it's another miss ... crap!

Imogen gets up AGAIN and hurls a Psychic Lance at her ... a Nat20 on her save? Are you FUCKING KIDDING? Argh ... 30 points halved to 15 ... nuts ... so so tries to Telekinetically Push her towards Ashton ... but it fails ... crap ...

Orym tries to jump on top of her and slash down into her ... it hits! Yeah! 9 points, then a Crit ... 18! Third misses, though ... then he backs off to give Ashton room to attack ... she gets an attack of opportunity ... OUCH!!! 16 slashing and 10 Force damage ... shit ...

Why does she KEEP attacking Laudna?

Destroy this bitch, Laudna! HUnger of the Shadow Shard? Oh sweet ... wait ... WHAT? That doesn't work? COME ON, Matthew! Argh ... so she Quickens a 5th Level Hunger ... which HITS ... 48 damage on this bitch! Yeah ...

Oh, she's FLARING? Fuck ... Exultant's Fury? Double fuck ...

But now she's been pulled into Ashton's Gravity Well and he attacks ... 23 plus 2 of fire damage! POW!!!

But now it's HER turn ... she goes for Ashton ... and hits him ... ow ... twice ... AND ANOTHER? Fucking hell ... I can't believe he's still up ... wait, he has Erratic Defence? Okay ... so he slams her right into the wall! Nice ...

She retreats ... and attack Imogen while she does it? Fuck ... Imogens's knocked down ... AND she gets an Action Surge? What? FCG takes half of the damage, BARELY saving her from going out right there ... second hit takes her out, though ... FUCK!!! Now she's going for Chetney instead ...

FUCK ME, CHetney's out AGAIN?!!! Un-fucking-FAIR!!!

Now she's going for FCG ...

Top of the round ... come on Ashton ... he charges her flat out while charging up ... Nat20 on the first hit! Yes! Chaos Burst ... 64 points of damage in a single hit? Wow ... how is she STILL UP?

Otohan goes for FCG ...

Fearne pulls Scorching Rays on her ... fuck ... that doesn't work out HALF as well as we'd expect ... wait, she's FIRE RESISTANT? FUCK!!!

She attacks Letters ... and he's OUT!!! Fuck! Death save ... 19 ... oh thank fuck ...

Wow ... Caviar is just COMPLETELY BALLS on this fight, isn't he?

Imogen Crits her Death Save ... SHE'S AWAKE again! Oh thank fuck ...

Orym picks himself up and draws Seedling, using it to pull himself to Ashton, bouncing off him to attack her ... first attack misses ... second hits ... 12 slashing damage ... next hits ... eight damage ...

Laudna casts Wither & Bloom at 3rd Level to get FCG up again ... spends a sorcery point to quicken qnd pours 12 Necrotic damage points into Otohan ... quckens again, pours an Eldritch Blast into her ... two hits one miss ... 16 damage altogether, halved to 8 ... oof ...

Otohan goes for Orym ... fuck, she is just KILLING It tonight and I hate it ... Orym is BARELY UP right now ... wait ... where the fuck ... she just DRANK A SUPERIOR HEALING POTION?!!! Son of a bitch! 66 POINTS BACK?!!! Fucking hell ...

Chetney succeeds his second Death save ...

Legendary attack on Fearne ... gods fucking DAMN IT ...

Ashton attacks ... first hit is a CRIT!!! 46 points of damage! Yeah ... next hit is a miss? Fuck ... what, is that ALL he can do? Shit ...

She hits him right back ... FUCK!!!

Fearne casts Aura of Life ... it helps, i guess ... zand there's NOTHING ELSE she can do ... O.O

Otohan hits HER ... nasty hit ... but she's got Armour of Agathys, so she burns her right back ... but Aura of Life is GONE ... fuck ... as if she NEVER cast it ...

FCG flips his coin and asks "Run or fight?" Hmmmm ... it lands on its side? Interesting ... so he casts a mass Cure Wounds ... 23 points back to everybody but Fearne ... and now his mood has turned RED?!!! Fucking hell ... so he's gone berserk again ...

Caviar tanks YET ANOTHER FUCKING ATTACK ... oh my GODS why is the Hellhound even OUT?

Imogen casts Sending to her mother ... REALLY?!!! Fucking hell ... and she's COMING?!!! Wow ... mothering instinct is STRONG. Otherwise there is NOTHING she can do right now ... so she's just gonna continue to play dead? Nuts ...

Orym is in shitty condition but pushes through ... makes an attack, small hit ... he's barely hanging in on this fight ... fuck ... so he downs a potion on the bonus action? Okay ...

Laudna casts Phantasmal Force to make Otohan see Liliana coming in to FUCK HER UP?!!! Wow ... and the bitch RESISTS IT ... shit ... that was almost so cool ... so she just Eldritch Blasts her instead ... a hit and a Crit ... 7 on the hit ... she Empowers the Crit ... 11 altogether ... not spectacular but it chips away at her ...

She attacks Orym ... and he's DOWN ... FUCK!!! Next on Fearne ... Shield protects her! Yes! So she goes for Ashton instead ... now an Action Surge on him too? Fucking hell ... and he's ALMOST down except that he's RAGING so he keeps 1 hit point ... fuck ... but her next takes HIM down too ... FUCKING HELL!!!

She attacks Imogen while she's down ... Deception Check? OMG ... barely makes it through ...

Is there ANYTHING Chetney can do? He pulls out Turmoil and casts Shatter ... 19 points of Thunder damage ... and that's all he wrote ... fuck ...

Now she attacks FCG ...

Fearne cuts her off and inflicts 48 points of damage on her ...

She attacks FCG again ... he is BARELY alive at this point and completely insane right now ...

FCG casts Guiding Bolt ... on HIMSELF?!!! Fucking hell ... what the fuck is he DOING? He's self-destructing? What the hell, Sam? Oh, this sounds SO BAD ... is this genuinely going to DESTROY him if he does this?

Oh my gods he is genuinely making a fucking MEAL out of this self-sacrifice ...

Fuck me ... is Matt CRYING? Wow ... whoa ... EVERYBODY IS LENDING HIM DICE to do this ... O.O ... what the epic FUCK, Sam? Oh my fuck that is A LOT of rolls ...

79 damage ...

Sam's description of FCG's death is BEAUTIFUL in the most heartbreaking way possible ... his eyes go white again? Oh my fucking gods ...

Otohan is RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF IT ... holy fuck, she is DEAD ... and so is Letters ... oh my fucking gods I don't believe it ... what the fuck, Samuel?

Holy shit, the whole table is just IN SHOCK right now ...

Just like the rest of the party ... slowly they start to pick themselves and each other up ... those who are down are nursedc back enough to get them on their feet ...

IS THERE anything left of FCG? Ashton finds the coin ... Chetney collects Otohan's backpack ...

They throw what's left of Otohan in the Hole.

Ashton POUNDS an exit into the wall with his fists. They're on the surface again ... and here comes Liliana ... she can already tell they just lost someone ...

So is she with THEM now?

That's it for the night ...

Fuck ... we're all exhausted and completely devastated and SO FUCKING SAD ... oh my gods ... seriously though, NOW what?

[masked-jazz]

I just had the amazing terrible idea for my next character.

A potion maker who regularly sells love potions and similar elixirs. One potion he sells, is designed to change both you and your true love (Shrek 2 style).

So anytime someone drinks it and sees their significant other, and their s/o is still the same, they think that person isn't their true love and they go off to find their real love.

However,

it only changes the person who drinks it. It's literally just regular Polymorph.

also his other job is a divorce lawyer.

[sigilmint]

please tell me all your geraskefer thought for the ship bingo!

ajkahsfkdshgdslkfas are you kidding they are everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! geralt/jaskier/yennefer <3 a perfect triad where they're all in love with each other yes yes yes yes yes thank you for sending them to me i love to think about them.

it's the 'bard. witch.' it's the 'we could head to the coast, get away for a while.' it's the 'chaos could never be done with the likes of you.' it's the 'fuck it.' (hugs) 'i've missed you, too.' it's the 'you don't get to play damsel in distress, that's my job.' it's the 'men. women. dwarves. elves. polymorphous--' 'that was one time and I! ...regret nothing it was amazing.' the list literally goes on and on and on and truly they are just so good for each other. geralt and yenn are already otp, and the specific flavor that joey batey brings to jaskier in the show brings them all to a whole other level! geralt/yenn is so serious and i love them for that but i also love geralt/jaskier being this constant show of jaskier walking blithely (or so it seems--i think he often very knowingly strides) into danger and geralt batting away every ghoulie that tries to stop him, and i love yennefer/jaskier being drinking buddies and rebounds and having absolute respect and adoration for each other that they're both so smirkingly determined to not reveal first. and together... they just balance each other out so well.

there are times when i watch this show back and think 'they're gonna do it. they're gonna make it canon. i believe.' and then i get to the mess of the radovid stuff and i'm like :/ you could have just,,,,, not done all that. jaskier expresses attraction towards both geralt and yennefer multiple times and idk why they didn't just continue that line~ ah well.

wrt ciri, i love the parents+fun uncle vibe they give. she needs all of them for different reasons!!

EDIT: HE LITERALLY SAYS HE LOVES THEM BOTH. HELP,

[monstrousmaws]

I’ve been building Christopher Pierre into DND and I genuinely want to play him now

He’s a Changeling Dhampir. Changeling because I like changelings, and because his whole thing is gaslighting and manipulation and changing forms could be very useful for that, also because it’s an easy explanation for why he’s monochrome, since changelings are also monochrome. Dhampir because they’re cool and the fact that as far as I can tell, Vampire Chris aus are fairly common.

and for class he is a Shadow Sorcerer. Since Shadow Sorcerers are mostly dead and canon Chris is a ghost it works extremely well. Also the spells he can get from that work quite well.

The spells I would give him are Charm Person, Suggestion, Crown of Madness, Tongues, Polymorph, Dominate Person, Eyebite, Mass Suggestion, and Psychic Scream or Time Stop. Most of these give you control over a person and that’s very Crispy-core. He is unfortunately unable to get Modify Memory, since that would be an amazing spell for him.

The order I put his stats in(from highest to lowest): Charisma, Constitution, Intelligence, Wisdom, Strength, Dexterity