#the appetite just continues to get worse so i have been eating less and less every day

[hikeyzz]

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[is-the-snake-video-cute]

thank you for responding, i figured tumblr might have trashed my ask. you’ve helped me a few times already, so thank you for your continued patience as we care for our BP coco! we love her so much and she’s always been a moderately active snake, even enjoying warm skin contact or coming out to explore with supervision. however, for the last couple months we’ve seen almost nothing of her! i figured she was going into shed at first so i kicked the humidity up from 50s to 60s. but after all this time we’ve only seen her for her to eat and it never seemed like she was in shed. i’m worried we’re overfeeding her because even though she’s eating like a champ, she doesn’t seem that hungry to me until we give her a f/t rat (then she’s all about it). my husband is very worried she’s going to starve to death in there because she isn’t coming out so we’re still feeding her every few weeks. i’m more personally concerned that i haven’t seen her drinking much at all.

i was worried for her so i pulled the top off of her humidity hide, and this is what i saw:

are those fat rolls or dehydration? i want to do right by this little lady but i’m just not sure what i’m doing wrong :( i’m happy to take her straight to the vet, but if this is normal i wanted to know first.

So sorry to hear Coco hasn't quite been herself!

So, right off the bat, good news and bad news. Good news: she's at no risk of starving in there, and you also don't have to worry if you haven't been seeing her drinking (most bps will drink when we're asleep or otherwise not watching, so it's actually rare to catch them at it). Bad news: she definitely does look to be overweight to me. It probably looks a bit worse than it is in this picture because she is curled up pretty tight, but I am seeing some fat rolls.

Dehydration in ball pythons looks different - you'll see wrinkles, yeah, but they'll look more like the skin is pulling up. Here are some pictures of dehydrated snakes so you can see what I mean:

Any sudden change in activity is enough to get me a little bit worried, so this is one of those cases where I do think a vet visit would be a good idea because it could be down to such a wide variety of things. My hunch is that you're probably overfeeding a bit; the lack of hunting behavior despite a good appetite is a pretty strong clue there, and snakes who are full will tend to spend more time hiding anyway as they digest. In addition, carrying some extra weight can make a snake less active than usual because of the strain on their bodies.

Now, as long as you're not seeing any obvious signs of illness (wheezing, open-mouthed breathing, any noises, etc.), I really don't think this is something you'll need to rush to the emergency vet for, but I think a wellness exam would be a good idea (if only to rule out anything more serious). Any sudden behavior changes always put me on high alert. You know your snake best - if something seems off to you, it's worth checking out, if only for your own piece of mind!

I think your best course of action is probably just going to be to cut down on your feeding frequency and size for a while. Going a size down and spacing your feedings out will help; I rarely ever feed my own ball pythons more often than every three weeks. They're very easy to overfeed, especially if they have good appetites like Coco!

Like I said, I don't think you've got any sort of emergency on your hards, and I think your best option is just going to be feeding less often, but I'd recommend a vet visit just to make sure nothing's up.

All the best to you and sweet Coco!

[1dont-really-know]

Childhood crush Lilva fic that idk what to title

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The moon is high in the sky, shining brightly and illuminating all that stand under it. The air is filled with the meaningless chatter of trainees, all of them taking what little break is allowed to catch up with their friends, distracting themselves from the grueling training that is due to continue in less than fifteen minutes’s time. Baul, who is currently sitting next to Lilia, is munching down on his food, unaware of the latter fae’s annoyance.

Malva should be here by now.

The little sister of his dear friend and an aspiring healer; one who never seemed to pay attention to anything unless it interested her. Ever since she found out that Lilia was training to be a guard, she had been visiting the training grounds each and every day, trailing after him and checking him for injuries, fanning the flames of both the rumours and Maleanor’s teasing. When she finds any scrape or bruise on him, she always insists on healing him, “practice,” she said, “so that I can have a head start.”

Lilia doesn't appreciate being a test subject. He thinks that much is obvious. It's demeaning and embarrassing, not to mention that the slightest mistake could spell disaster for him. He'd very much rather his “injuries” (if they could even be considered that) be treated by a real healer, one who actually knows what they're doing and not a ninety-year-old who's prone to using too much magic on any given wound and who then always proceeds to scold him for getting hurt. That's not even mentioning how the other trainees have been speaking of this, saying that the younger of the two princesses has feelings for him, or that he has feelings for her. It's ridiculous. And no, it's not because he's still sulking over his proposal to Maleanor being rejected.

Even so, Lilia admits that Malva did warn him about Raverne’s plans of proposing as well, so he still listens to her scolding. He tries not to get hurt as much, if only so that Malva wouldn't glare at him for getting hurt again. He doesn't see why she would, in the first place. The more injuries he gets, the more practice Malva gets, but Lilia doesn't want to see that expression on her face, so he obliges. He can see how much effort she's putting into improving, anyways.

Still, the point stands that Malva, for some reason, has yet to arrive. On most days, she visits when the break is about to start, watching them train for a little before going to Lilia. On the rare chance that she's late, it's never later than when the trainees are excused to go eat their food. With only ten minutes left before training starts again, neither scale nor tail of the younger princess has been seen.

“Lilia?”

Red eyes flick towards the crocodile fae beside him. Lilia grunts in acknowledgement, “what is it, Baul?” he asks. Eight minutes to go. Where is she?

Baul raises an eyebrow, perhaps at his tone, “you seem upset. Why?”

“I don’t know what you're talking about.”

Seven.

“You're making a face. And you've barely been eating your food.”

“I simply don't have that much of an appetite today,” he sighs, “really, Baul. It's nothing.”

“Is it because Lady Malva has not come here?”

What? Lilia furrows his brows, a frown forming on his face. Him? Upset because Malva isn't here? “Of course not.”

Really, why should he be? He doesn't have to stay still while a child whines about treating the injuries she, herself, volunteered to heal. It just feels a little odd, that's all. Lilia supposes he just got used to her presence, after a while. Maybe she got bored of coming every day? Or maybe she got another test subject to practice her healing on.

“The look on your face is getting worse.”

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Maleanor hums happily as she brushes though her little sister’s hair. Various accessories are spread out around them, ranging from bows to hairclips, silver necklaces to golden earrings, many of which were glittering with many colours of gemstones and jewels. Malva sits still, not lifting a single finger to oppose her sister’s whims. The feeling of the brush against her scalp is nice.

Truthfully, Malva doesn’t know why Maleanor decided to style her all of a sudden. She had just been reading through a few books when the older of the two barged into the library and dragged her off to be used as a dress up doll. This outfit, a long dark grey dress adorned with bows, accessorized with a fragile sapphire necklace, is merely the latest in a long line of Maleanor’s attempts. Upon Malva’s comment on how she thought it was pretty, Maleanor decided that this was the winning outfit, and is now moving on to deciding how to best style her hair.

Malva watches curiously as her sister holds an emerald horn ornament in front of her, the reflection on the mirror displaying as she weighs something in her mind, before shaking her head and deciding against it. “Does not fit the necklace,” Maleanor huffs, picking up another accessory (a silver leaf-shaped hairclip. A generic leaf, not one Malva can pinpoint to any specific plant) and repeating the process all over again.

Finally, after a few more attempts, Malva speaks up, in an attempt to distract Maleanor from the latter’s growing frustration. “Maybe we can get something that’s similar to your crown?” she asks, hopefully. The crown and throne aren’t things that will ever be Malva’s, but even she can’t deny that both of those things are very pretty.

“It would not fit you, sister,” Maleanor says, tying a ribbon into and around the younger princess’s hair and horn, “you are more cute than you are elegant, at least for now. You need pretty things to accentuate that.”

Another accessory is thrown into the rejected pile.

“But you’re elegant. Mother is as well.”

“You’re still a hatchling, Moonlight. All hatchlings are cute. You, less so, but you still fit into the cute category better than you do the elegant category.”

Malva pouts, the tip of her tail twitching, “I can fit into the elegant category just fine,” and really, she can be more elegant than Maleanor can, “give me some of your clothes to wear and I’ll prove it.”

“No.”

“Why are you even trying to dress me up anyway? Mother already does that when there’s upcoming balls and events,” She doesn’t mention how much more comfortable the clothes Maleanor chose are. The fabrics are softer and she doesn’t have to wear those annoying corsets.

Maleanor pauses, just long enough for Malva to feel an ominous sense of dread creeping up her spine. Slowly, ever so slowly, a horrifying smirk pulls at her older sister’s lips, a dangerous glint shining in her eyes that makes Malva want to flee.

“Oh my, sister, did you really think I wouldn’t notice your little escapades to go meet your beloved?”

What? Malva doesn’t have a beloved. Sure, she sneaks out every once in a while to convene with Altair, but Altair isn’t her beloved, and Maleanor knew that.

Upon seeing Malva’s confused look, Maleanor’s grin only widens, “don’t play coy, now. It’s been all the talk lately. I must say, it’s not a method of courting I thought of before, but from his reactions, it does prove to be effective.”

What in the world was she talking about?

“Ah, I knew he had feelings for you the moment he noticed the book you brought, all those years ago. He could deny it all he wanted, but as your big sister, I see things that neither you nor he saw.”

“Who are you talking about?” Malva blurts, no longer being able to keep her confusion to herself. Malva did not bring anyone flowers nor offered anyone anything from her hoard. She had not been courting anyone, and she had not even thought that much of courting or marriage until now. She has no idea what her sister is speaking of.

But of course, instead of answering her, Maleanor instead sighs dreamily, cupping her cheek in one hand, “you aren’t even aware of your feelings yet, but the heart commands the body more than the brain does. You two are practically made for each other. Meeting every day and-”

Another pause. The smile on Maleanor’s face fading into a small frown.

“Stars, how long have we been here?” The older fae rises from the chair she was sitting on, walking over towards the window and taking a look at the position of the moon outside. The expression on her face shifts again, into one of surprise, then alarm. Before Malva could react, Maleanor is in front of her again, her hands on her shoulders and ushering the younger fae to stand up and pushing her towards the door.

“What is it now?” Malva was not aware that there was a time limit to this, but at this point, she’s too exasperated to push back. It’s Maleanor, anyway, so there was no way for Malva to be able to out-stubborn her.

“They will already be training again by now, so we’ll have to teleport there, but even then we’ll be interrupting their training- No matter. We are their princesses, they will have to just pause for us.”

Training, huh. So whoever it is that Maleanor thinks Malva is courting, he’s someone in training, either to become a soldier or something else that’s just as strict. Someone that is, presumably, close to both of them, for Maleanor to be this gleeful.

Lilia, then. He’s the only person that isn’t Raverne that both of them are close to and is a trainee.

“‘Leanor,” Malva calls her sister’s name, warily, knowing full well it’s unlikely that Maleanor will even listen to her, “I’m not in love with Lilia.”

Just as she thought, the glint in Maleanor’s eyes return, and Malva can only resign herself to her fate. “I never said who it was you were courting, Moonlight.”

Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

In the end, Malva somehow convinced Maleanor to wait until Lilia’s training is done for the day before going to him.

While they waited, Maleanor took it upon herself to tell Malva all about the type of relationship she and Lilia apparently have, the kinds of dates she thinks will be good for them, and how long it would take for them to get married, nevermind that Malva has not even reached the milestone that is her one hundredth birthday.

Honestly, Malva would not mind ending up with Lilia, if only her sister would stop this buffoonery of trying to force her to get together with him. Maleanor, however, does not seem like she cared, rearranging the moonflower that she had decided was the best for Malva to wear as a hair accessory.

Malva stares up at the stars above her, wishing for some way to get Maleanor to stop talking. Her wish was granted quickly, but only because Lilia had noticed she was there and was now making his way towards her, which, in turn, Maleanor takes as a signal for her to disappear into a cluster of fireflies. She’s still nearby; likely behind a bush or tree, watching their every move.

Of course Malva would be left here to talk to him all alone. She did not know what else she expected. Yes, of course, just leave the younger, littler one to deal with the person you rejected (rather harshly, might she add), Maleanor.

Her tail swishing agitatedly behind her, Malva turns to face the bat fae, trying her best to put on as neutral of an expression as she possibly could. It wasn’t his fault that Maleanor is oddly insistent on this, so it would do her no good to take it out on him.

Lilia, however, does not seem to be having the same idea, his face having the most sour expression Malva has ever seen in her life. Great. What in the world is he even upset about.

You know what? it doesn’t matter. He has bruises on his face, and healing those are more important, and she’s sure those are not the only injuries he got today.

Malva all but marches up towards him, grabbing his face with both her hands, and glaring at the bruises blotching his skin. He must have been hit hard, with how blue the bruises are, “Can’t you stay safe for one day? How did your injuries get so much worse than usual?” she hisses at him, concerned, trying to chase away the voice of Maleanor in the back of her mind who’s saying that the redness of his cheeks are, in fact, not bruises.

She also tries to pretend she did not hear an ecstatic squeal from somewhere behind her.

“I just had a bad day,” Lilia mumbles, his hands encircling her wrists and pulling her hands away from his face. “I’m in training to become a soldier, Malva, these things happen.”

That answer does not calm her down. Malva scowls, and as a boom of thunder is heard in the distance, she wrestles her hands from his grip, returning them to their previous spot on his cheeks. She keeps her hold gentle, but forceful, not wanting to add another bruise and make things worse.

She does not hear the high-pitched, babyish ”aaaawwweeee!” behind her. She does not. She does not even want to think about it.

Right, bruises are caused by the little blood vessels under the skin leaking blood from an impact. Imagine the blood returning into their rightful place, the vessels returning to normal, focus on every little drop, and then send a pulse of magic to the injury… there we go. The bluish color is already fading a little.

“You need to be more careful,” Malva does not yet know how to cast a diagnostics spell, so she settles on circling him, scanning him for any other scratches. None that’s too apparent. She’s going to need him to voluntarily show the other injuries that he wants healed to her, “it’s not good for you to keep getting hurt, you know that, right?” if he keeps this up, then it might be extra dangerous for him to actually become a soldier. She couldn’t imagine how injured he could get there. He’s a good friend to Maleanor, so Malva wouldn’t want him to get hurt.

Lilia rolls his eyes, taking a step away from her, but still rolling up his sleeve and presenting a shallow scrape there, looking like he got it from falling, somehow. Did someone defeat him in sparring? That’s new. She hasn’t seen anyone do that yet. “And yet still, you care more about dressing up instead of visiting during break like you usually do.”

“Maleanor told me to. Or, rather, she dressed me up like this for a reason I do not think is very important right now.”

“Be as it may,” Lilia waves it off with his free hand as she heals his injured arm. Malva is relieved to see that it’s not that deep, and can be very easily mended, “it would be good if you’d notify me, so that I know when I would need to keep an eye on you since you’re out of the castle.”

Why would that even be important either? Ah, but well, she supposes that since he’s training to be a soldier, he’d be in charge of her safety. That makes enough sense. “Alright,” Malva relents, releasing his hands once the scrape is fully healed. “If that would make you feel better.”

Lilia nods, looking away from her, the healing spell heating up the part of his cheeks that she healed and bringing a pink tint to them, “glad to see we agree on that.”

Malva smiles at him. He's a pleasant enough person to be around. She hopes she can befriend him properly, one day. Lilia is Maleanor’s friend for a reason, she knows that. His personality matches better with hers than it does with Malva’s, but Malva is curious about him, and she sees that he genuinely cares about her sister, and to a lesser extent, her, so getting closer to him wouldn’t hurt-

“HAH!”

“Stars, Maleanor, calm down,”

“To hell with being calm, I’m already planning the wedding for both of you!”

Malva winces, scooting away from Lilia, not wanting anyone to associate her with the jeering Maleanor is subjecting a very red-faced and embarrassed bat fae to. Raverne, who Malva doesn’t know how long he has been watching them for, gives her an apologetic smile, but does not do anything, just watching his fianceé borderline bullying their mutual friend over his perceived crush on the younger princess.

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Tags : @kitwasnothere @thehollowwriter @kdjmybeloved

[androgynousblackbox]

How To Lose A Lucifer in 10 Days. 6 [Appleradio, Radioapple]

Step 6: Let him help you

It was during the breakfast that Husk made the suggestion, looking at a Lucifer that was preparing their breakfast again. It was genuinely delicious and he wasn't about to complain about it, but he would have to be the biggest asshole ever to not realize this couldn't last forever.

For one, because that Lucifer being there meant having Alastor eating at the same table the same huge chunk of deer meat cooked in different ways. An espectacle that was turning off his appetite anyway. Also the whole family destroyed wasn't exactly picking up the mood, even if things overall had gotten less explosive since the mixed up.

"Didn't Charlie got that wish stone thingy for her birthday?" said casually, vaguely remembering something like that.

After her whole birthday had been basically trashed with their original Lucifer and this Alastor's fight, Vaggie had given the present to her girlfriend and encouraged her to open it up to see if that could cheer her up, even if just a little. The rest of them were busy trying to clean up what they could.

Charlie lifted her head, just as Lucifer was coming over with a cup of coffee he put in front of Alastor and another full of tea for him. Alastor, as usual, did not say anything as he continue eating, the pampered fuck.

"The what now?" said Lucifer, who continue not minding his lack of manners.

As if feeding for the table for the residents was a new part of his routine and doing it was what mattered.

"Oh, you are right" said Charlie through a yawn. Her hair was a little bit messier than usual, probably after not a very good night of sleep. "Honey, can the stone do that? Mess with interdimensional magic?" asked, leaning her head to Vaggie, who pursed her lips.

"Mmaybe?" said, finally. "I just got told that they can fulfill almost any wish posible. I guess it's worth a shot?"

"Wow, seriously?" Lucifer perked up, looking at Charlie with the start of a smile. "Would you do that for me, sweetie?"

"Of course, papa" Charlie reached out to pat the black hand over the table. "If that can get you back to your family and get back my dad, then I will be glad to wish it."

However, when Charlie grabbed a toast to take with her to go search for her stone and came back to them, it was pretty obvious that she was not carrying bad news. Made all a little bit worse when Lucifer absolutely beamed at her, the ilusion on his eyes making it painful when Charlie had to shake her head.

"I-I am sorry" said Charlie, showing the stone. A pure white one instead of the black one that they had seen on Charlie's birthday. "I… I think I may have already used it without knowing?"

"Oh" said Lucifer.

"And…" continued on Charlie, almost hiding her face behind the tiny box of the stone. Her voice became almost squeaky as she talked, reluctant. "I may… or may not, but most likely may, have wished upon you and Alastor to get along."

The constant sound of Alastor eating stopped in the act, but the one whose reaction Charlie cared the most was Lucifers.

The king of hell opened up his mouth. Close it. Blinked his eyes as he was trying to process what Charlie was implying.

"I am so sorry" said the princess. "I… I didn't know that it could do this."

"That… that is stupid" said Lucifer, making a hand gesture to Alastor. "How is me being here supposed to make him get along with your Lucifer?"

"I don't know? Maybe it just brought along a Lucifer that could get along with this Alastor?" She sighed, letting her shoulders fall. "I… I already consulted with Stolas. He says that is the more likely explanation."

Lucifer deflated entirely, letting himself fall to a chair.

"I am so sorry" said Charlie, not knowing what else to say.

"Well, that makes the solution pretty easy then" said Alastor, cleaning up his mouth properly with a napkin. Lucifer and Charlie both looked to him with almost the exact same puppy eyes. From another dimension or not, they were still very much father and daughter. "Look for a new stone. Wish that you can come back and for the other Lucifer to be here. It sounds to me as easy as that. If they are so powerful to overwrite the laws of this universe, there is no reason to believe they can't overwrite another wish."

"Can we do that?" asked Lucifer, looking from Charlie to Vaggie just behind her. In the end his question was more for the latter. "Sweetie, how did you get that stone in the first place? If we can get another new one…"

"It was a contact through Carmilla" said Vaggie, scratching her neck. "They said they are extremely rare, extremely precious, so I had to give them some of the weapons left behind after the extermination. They wanted more than that, so I had to negotiate until I finally convinced them to give the smallest one they had. Carmilla helped out to smooth things over, I don't really know how. I never talked to them directly."

"That is great then!" said Lucifer, turning to Alastor with a bright smile that decayed as soon it was up. "Oh, wait, you are not… Damn it. We are going to actually convince her" said with a groan. He turned to Vaggie. "Can you talk with Carmilla for another, sweetie?"

"I-I will, sir" said Vaggie, bowing her head slightly as she take out her phone.

As she turned around, waiting for Carmilla to pick up, Charlie walked over to Lucifer. She touched his shoulder, looking so small even as she was still taller than him.

"I am really sorry. I didn't know. I must have been so… I don't know, mad, that I didn't even notice."

Lucifer sighed, patting her hand and then covering it with his.

"Don't sweat it, duckling. You… you had no idea it could do this."

"If I did, I would have never done that wish" assured Charlie, bending over to him and that seemed to do the trick to relax him again. "I would have never wanted to take away the Lucifer of another Charlie or anyone for that matter."

"Yeah, I know" Lucifer chuckled softly, petting her hair and then kissing her temple. "It's okay, sweetie. I get it. Alastor makes me mad sometimes too."

"Excuse me?" Alastor arched an eyebrow. "As the saying goes, you need two to tango, sire."

"Oh, you ruined the birthday of my daughter, shut up" said Lucifer without any real heat, giving Charlie a good squeeze before letting her go. For once, Alastor just let out a huff before finishing up with his breakfast and ignoring the surprised look on the princess. "It's going to be okay, sweetie."

Charlie kept hold of his hand, sitting next to him as they saw Vaggie speaking quickly into her phone.

"Carajo, la puta mierda" let out Vaggie, squeezing her brow between two fingers. She turned around with an almost guilty expression. "Carmilla is on a business trip. Her daughters say she won't be back in three days. They don't know where she is either."

"Of course they don't" sighed Lucifer.

Charlie hugged him again by the neck as she looked over at Alastor. There was so much intent on her eyes that he had to roll his.

"I can try to ask around" said finally. Lucifer suddenly turned his head, so quickly that a little crack from his own neck could be heard. "I can't make any promises, though. Stones such as that one are surely weirders than they seem. I can't account for the price either."

He made himself back on his chair when Lucifer actually sniffled, blinking his suddenly more watery big eyes.

"Thank you" said the king and Alastor cleared his throat.

"I haven't done anything yet" pointed out standing up. "And like I said already, it might turn out into nothing. If you really want to show appreciation, you can cook me some sinner for tomorrow."

Alastor obviously said it as a joke, but didn't expect the laugh that came out of Lucifer.

"Sure!" said, perking up. "Which one you like? My Alastor liked bull demon!" Alastor stared at him with an amused grin. Charlie released the king, making a face. Vaggie covered her mouth on the side. Lucifer rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on. I married a cannibal, of course I would try it sooner or later! It's not that bad if you know how to prepare it."

"I don't know what else I was expecting" admitted Charlie and Lucifer chuckled.

"Yeah, my duckling stopped eating it as soon she understood what it was."

Charlie opened up her eyes wide.

"You fed it to her too?!"

"She liked it before!" despite the defensive words, Lucifer was smiling. "Only the best for my baby girl."

According to the face Charlie made, she did not consider that the best.

Now that they finally had a clearer idea of what to do, Lucifer started texting his own contacts for any information on those rare stones, more animated than how he was at the start of the morning.

Outside, a group of soul contracts with their overlord directing them came to cause trouble. It took nothing more than 5 minutes for Alastor to instantly kill them, ripping their hearts at the same time with tentacles born out of their own shadows and squeezing them tight on his grip. Alastor laughed as he went to pick up the body of the overlord themselves, the thickest of them all too, licking his lips.

"Are you okay?" asked Lucifer, seemingly appearing out of nowhere in front of him.

Only the tightest grip on his autocontrol made Alastor to not jump back at the tiny king.

"I am perfectly well" said, snapping his fingers to conjure up his minions. The little creatures grabbed to the fallen overlord and carried him, back to his own private compartment where he could prepare it properly later. "Why the question?" said, when suddenly Lucifer was even closer.

"You killed them in the quickest and relatively painless way possible" said Lucifer, looking concerned. "You never do that. You didn't even play with them at all! The only time my Alastor did something like that was when he was losing sleep for Charlie's gestation."

Alastor took a step back, putting a safe distance.

"Well, your Majesty, to be quite honest" said with a tense smile, "I truly do not think it's your place to be worrying like that all. Maybe today I just wanted to take it easy."

"You never want to take it easy" said Lucifer and Alastor snarled.

"I would appreciate" said, barely separating his teeth to speak, "if you would stop talking as if you know me. Regardless of your marital status with another version of me living in another different dimension."

"I am not trying to make you uncomfortable" said Lucifer, his brow burrowed. "I am sorry. It's just… if something is wrong, you can just tell me, you know? I could maybe help you and I wouldn't say a word about it."

"For as nice of a sentiment that is, no" Alastor turned around, subtly fixing the front of his suit jacket when Lucifer portaled in front of him again. He gnarled his teeth, the good will gained by his meal fading away. "I am losing my patience, your Majesty."

"I will make you a deal" said Lucifer and Alastor's lips twitched.

"Do you really think you can just keep offering me deals to manipulate me into doing anything you want?"

Lucifer blinked.

"Yeah? Isn't that exactly what you do?"

It was in fact. All the more reason to not like it when someone else was doing it to him.

"I am not interested in any more of your ideas for weaknesses" said Alastor. Last night he had succumbed to his own curiosity and allowed the king for another night in his room. Only for the information given to him being that Lucifer could not resist a caring Alastor. Whatever that was. "Our previous deal is off now. You can find another place to sleep."

"I figured as much" Lucifer did not try to stop him when Alastor walked past him. He did still followed him. "How about my blood?"

Alastor stopped and turned slightly, narrowing his eyes.

"Come again?"

"Let me help you with whatever is wrong and I will give you some of my blood" offered Lucifer easily. "Ah, but you have to be very careful drinking it. Just small sips or it could really mess you up."

"Speaking from experience, I suppose?"

Lucifer blushed a little, but nodded.

"If you tell me you were never curious about it, I will be surprised" commented, as if gaining his confidence back.

"No, that is a fair assumption to make" said Alastor. "I just doubt your intentions offering it."

"Oh for my name, this shit again?" Lucifer passed a hand over his face. "Is that hard to believe I literally just don't want to see you sick or hurt or whatever is that you have going on? Wait, no. Yes, it is. I forgot who I was talking to for a second" Lucifer took a breath, joining both hands in front of him. "Alastor, I swear for all of hell, I want absolutely nothing from you. I don't even need you to like my presence at all. Just let me do this very selfish thing for my own selfish interests so you can move your ass to find that stupid ass stone faster and I can get back to an Alastor that is only slightly less of a headache for me. There. Does that sound more digestible for you?"

"Hump" Alastor turned around in direction to the hotel. He was already at the door when he called out. "Are you coming or not?"

"Good grief" sighed Lucifer, going after him. "To your room?"

Just as soon Alastor nodded his head, suddenly he found himself there. Lucifer traspassed quickly his portal and took out his jacket, letting it float in the air so it wouldn't be touching anyhing on his room. Alastor would find it touching if it wasn't a reminder of what he was agreeing to.

"I expect discretion from your Majesty" said before anything else.

"Man, of course" said Lucifer, rolling up his sleeves. "Trust me, I have plenty of experience with secrets. Back in my dimension, nobody outside of our family or closest friends knows we are married. Or that my Charlie had a sinner as a father."

Alastor arched an eyebrow at that and Lucifer shrugged.

"For protection purposes. One time someone find out that my Alastor was spending too much time in the palace. Just with that, it ended pretty ugly" He cleared his throat, looking to a side, as if the memory was still unpleasant to bring out. "Anyway, point is, I am not saying anything. You can add it to the deal as well if you want."

"Mmm" Alastor sat on one of his chair. His hand hesitated a second before untying his bowtie. "Close your eyes."

"I don't think you have anything I haven't seen, but fine. If that helps you" Lucifer put two hands in front of his eyes and conjured up a sleeping mask with duckies around. "Alright, I am not seeing anything. Do I walk forward?"

Alastor looked over him. One of this tentacles waved in front of the face of the tiny king. No reaction at all.

"Yes."

Lucifer walked following the sound of his voice, extending his hands up front. When his fingers brushed against the chair and he confirmed that one was empty, he sat on it.

"Move a little to the left" indicated Alastor and Lucifer did as well, sitting in front of him. "You have an awful lot of trust on your Alastor, don't you?" said as he opened up his shirt. He contained a hissing sound when he felt the the corners of his old wound definitely open. Without getting the devil out of his sight, just in case he tried anything, he started to loosen up his bandages to asses the real damage.

"Again, married for 85 years. What part of that is not clear?" said Lucifer, who haven't moved at all, more than to put his hand on his knees.

"I am frankly surprised of the weight you give to those years, your Majesty. For an immortal being such as yourself, 85 years must feel like an instant."

"If you are emotionally and mentally dead, sure" Lucifer shrugged, not offended by his words. "What can I say? My Alastor made those memorable" added with a smirk.

"Even so, that doesn't really mean that he couldn't surprise you sometime."

"I know neither of you are saints" commented Lucifer with mirth. "It's fine. I am no saint either. I think I will be fine."

"If you say so" Alastor finished up taking the bloodied up bandages and threw them to the fire. The head of Lucifer moved slightly at the sound, but otherwise didn't move. "Extend your hand forward."

"Just a question, though" said Lucifer, doing just that. "Is this not seeing you at all right now is a 30s modesty thing or a you thing?"

"It's a thing" sneared Alastor, grabbing the hand by the sleeve and directing it to the wound on his chest. The slight smile on Lucifer's face immediately dissapeared as he touched lightly on the confines of the open flesh, still bleeding. Through the mouth of the monarch a couple of puff of smokes came out as his horn extended from his forehead. "The one who did this is dead, your Majesty. No need to worry about that."

"Good" declared Lucifer, his expression changing then to a more pained one as he was blindly following the trajectory of the wound. He did stop as soon he felt Alastor flinching. "Fuck, Al. Did you try to close that yourself?"

"I thought you were here to make it better, not to make unnecesary questions" said Alastor. "You said you could cure it."

"Yeah, sure. I need both hands, though. That thing is infected."

"I was aware" Alastor took a deep breath, brazing himself. "Just do it."

"Alright" Lucifer extended his other hand forward. He looked the best position to place them comfortably without touching directly the cut. In the end one of his palms ended up just below a rib and the other one near his shoulder. As the healing magic started extending, Alastor squeezed his mouth shut to not let out a single sound beyond one sigh. "Was this Adam?" asked Lucifer.

Alastor hummed in the affirmative, closing his own eyes.

"What a piece of shit" said Lucifer. "In my side, I ate his body after killing him. I thought he had killed my spouse forever so I had to do it."

Alastor couldn't help to chuckle at how easy the tiny king just said that.

"Naturally" he agreed. It was the least someone could do to an enemy. "Did he tasted good at least?"

"No, it sucked. But I finished it all. I thought Alastor was gone forever. It was the least I could do for him."

Alastor nodded his head, neverminding that Lucifer could not see it.

"You are definitely different than our Lucifer" commented after a while. "I can't imagine him doing the same. He wasn't even the one to finish Adam. For what I could gather, he even was trying to spare him. Then Niffty stabbed him on the back."

Lucifer snorted.

"Niffty?! Oh, that is amazing. Adam must have hated that" Alastor saw his own wound starting to become less swollen, the redness underneath his fur succesfully dissapearing. "But you know, that is not really a fair comparison. If Adam had killed someone important to him, like Charlie, I don't doubt for a second that the other Lucifer would have gone full demon on his ass and the rest of the exorcists. As it is, if Charlie was safe and he had no relation to you, as you can't stop reminding me, then of course he can offer mercy. I would have done the same too if my ring haven't dissapeared."

Alastor looked down, at the ring stained with his blood that was still very much there.

"You are not really married anymore" commented more than asking.

"We are working on that" said Lucifer, his hand tensing for a bit. He haven't moved them at all, letting his magic expanding to do it's job.

A moment of silence passed between them. The more the magic was relaxing his muscles, the more heavy the rest of his body felt. It wasn't an unpleasant sensation at all, just a weird one when his body wanted to tensed up by the contact, but was physically unabled to do so.

"It's hard to imagine, in general" said Alastor finally, as if the thought had been bouncing around on his head for a while. Maybe it was because of the magic or because Lucifer was blind. Either way, it felt appropriate to share that. "Any version of me that wants to be with anyone like that."

Lucifer nodded his head, drawing a little smile.

"I get it. For my Alastor it was quite a shock too. It's kinda funny in restrospective because neither of us was really sure of what we were doing at the start. But eventually we found our own rythm and our own way to do things. Talking things out helped a lot."

"So you were the one thing to fix him?" sneaared Alastor.

It would have been better to hear that his Alastor was different in that lack of interest rather than no, actually, he was the same until he found the oh so called right one that his media always said waited for everyone.

"Oh, Alastor" Lucifer smiled at that. Alastor wanted to think about the absolute absurdity of talking with the king of hell wearing that ridiculous thing on his face. Instead he looked at how the skin started to closed of, admiring the way they came together to start forming scar tissue. "There is no fixing you because you aren't broken. Well, you are, but not in that sense at least. No, I am just an exception that confirmed the rule for him. Which still doesn't mean that is ever going to be the case for you and that is cool too."

"Oh, how benevolent" said Alastor, dripping with sarcasm. "Thank you for the permission, your Majesty. Whatever I would have ever done without your inspirational speech skills."

"Fuck off" Lucifer snickered. "I am sorry for not covering something in thirty layers of irony for your delicate palatte to tolerate. You are going to have to live with me just being direct with you. You poor thing."

"Gross" said Alastor, accomodating just a bit better. The hand of Lucifer moved a little closer to each other as the zone was being healed. "I think I prefered it more when we didn't speak."

"Too late, bud. You opened up Pandora's box, now these are the consequences."

"I believe you were the one kicking the Pandora's box all over my floor until we found ourselves in this situation" He groaned, acting up his annoyance more than he felt it. "That blood better be worth it."

"Worth not having an infected wound full of angelical traces that sooner or later was going to kill you? Yeah, probably."

Alastor made a face, not willing to admit he never really thought it was that serious and wondering instead if Lucifer was playing it up now.

"I was doing just fine on my own" replied.

"Sure you did."

"I didn't ask your help."

"Oh, I know. If anything I forced this upon you. You just had no choice but to accept or I was never going to let it go. You know how annoying a Lucifer can be without even trying. When I actually want to, though, that is the stuff of nightmares. You truly dodged a bullet there."

Alastor huffed, looking to a side and forcing his mouth to absolutely not chuckle. Lucifer smiled under the mask as if he knew very well that is what he was doing, which only irritated him further. Smug prick.

The healing still had a way to go.

"What did you mean with the exception that confirmed the rule?" asked, changing the subject.

Lucifer accepted it easily, as if always on the ready to talk about his husband.

"Exactly what it sounds like. Alastor was never more sure of how little he cared for anyone else on that sense until he started dating me. Not that he doubted before, but compare what he felt then with what it was before made it all the more obvious, you know? I don't completely understand it either, but hey, as long he is happy who cares, right? Sure, we might not always be on the same frequency, but we still have fun."

Alastor eyed to the devil carefully, trying to catch if he meant fun in the sense that would have Angel wingling his eyebrows or not. By the tone of Lucifer, he could only assume it was the second case. Hearing that calmed him down somewhat.

"You don't mind then? The difference?"

"Why would I?" Lucifer tilted his head slightly, as if finding the question silly. "As long we both know where we at and respect that, then we can make it work. We have until now. Besides, it doesn't hurt that he is the hottest demon in hell even if we aren't doing anything" Lucifer chuckled, thankfully taking off his hand off him when he could feel that the wound had closed off entirely. Alastor rushed into putting the night robe he brought with his tentacles, but Lucifer didn't seem in any rush to take out his mask before being told to. Instead, the devil took out a hankerchief from a pocket and started cleaning his hands. "How do you feel it?"

"Mmm" said Alastor, watching himself. His fur had grown around the scar, perfectly remarking the grey mark of smooth healed skin. He draw a finger over the zone and it was a little bit weird, tingly, but nothing more. "It's fine."

"Cool" Lucifer cleaned up his hankerchief waving it on the air. "Can I see now?"

"You can" Alastor stand up from the chair as Lucifer made his mask dissapear, blinking on the dim light of the chimney. He walked to his bed and sat on the edge, crossing his legs. "Well?"

"You know, you never shook my hand" commented Lucifer. "Technically speaking, I have no reason to give you nothing now."

"Is that my punishment for thinking that his Majesty can honor his word without a deal forcing him?" Alastor arched an eyebrow.

Lucifer smiled bigger now.

"Nah. Just saying" He conjured up a small glass bottle to float near his hand. When he cut up his own palm with his claws, Lucifer squeezed his fist to start filling it up. His face didn't change, as if it didn't hurt him at all. "But I really mean it, don't drink it all at once. Have you ever gotten high?"

"Not the kind of sin I indulge in" said, following up the jar, drop by drip.

"Yeah, I imagined. Well, this is kinda like that, so just be careful. You could also just save it for if you get hurt again. My Alastor always has a bit as a backup in case of emergency" Lucifer opened up and closed his hand, letting the last portion to join the rest before his cut naturally healed itself. The devil closed the bottle with a cork and send it floating to Alastor, who catched it easily. "Oh, if you are going to drink it all, then don't do it with company either. Unless you really trust them and don't mind being vulnerable."

Alastor made a face of disgust, now looking at the bottle like it could bite him, but equally fascinated by it.

"Is that potent?"

"I mean, that is what I have been told by sinners who tried it" Lucifer shrugged his shoulders, standing up. "It does nothing for me, obviously."

"I will keep that in mind" said Alastor, going up to his door and opening it up.

Lucifer looked dissapointed that he was still getting kicked out, but that expression only lasted a second and he walked forward.

"Have a good night then" said, expecting the door close behind him the moment he was out.

"Good night, sir" was the calm answer instead. Alastor looked at him for a second and only then closed the door.

The palace of Belfregor was a combination of a hospital and factory for her many different drugs that distributed for the mental health of everyone in the rest of hell. On top of all of that, her own residence.

Lucifer saw again the text on his phone, confirming that it had indeed being send to Bel and Bel had replied with a thumb up emoji. Truly, he was beyond grateful that through all of this nonsense at least he got changed with his own phone with all of his contacts unchanged. It was a stupid thing, but it felt nice to have something familiar and solid on his hands that he could control.

"Is that your Charlie?" asked Alastor over his shoulder and jumped, turning his head to him.

To come to this place, Alastor had saod ot was easier for him to go without his illusion spell on, just like he had insisted it was far easier if Lucifer applied one to himself so no one would be asking what was the king doing taking someone there. Their king that was supposed to be more discreet and kept to himself than go parading his face around, as Alastor described him. My husband is a very private man, after all. So a hermit, have thought Lucifer without saying so, alredy imagining this Alastor was not going to take that kindly.

In a way, realizing that this Lucifer was even worse than him at being a public figure of authority for hell had brought him some sense of relief. Finally, something that was not entirely perfect about this other version of himself. He probably was not the best example of a king either, but at least he never felt the need to hide his own face in order to do whatever is that he pleased in whatever ring he was at.

The two green pupils of Alastor were staring at the image he had as his background. A picture of a little Charlie in a puffy blue dress hugging a duckie plushie and laughing at whatever gesture Lucifer was doing behind the camera. He had a bunch of pictures, new and old.

"Yeah, isn't she the cutest?" cooed with a happy grin. "The most precious girl in all of hell."

Alastor tilted his head, shrugging his shoulder slightly. Probably thinking his own Charlie was cuter, but not really wanting to argue about it right now.

"She looks almost like a copy of you" he said after a while. "Where are the attributes of her mother?"

Lucifer squeezed the phone on his hand, squinting his eyes as if to see if Alastor was somehow trying to fish for information with which poke him with. But his expression looked just as neutral as ever, just as curious about that as he could be for why he had chosen to look like an imp to come there.

"For your information, she is the best version of the both of us" said Lucifer, puffing his chest. He looked on his gallery for a moment, realizing that he didn't had any pictures of Lilith with him anymore. He had deleted the few he had left after a particularly ugly depressive episode and then forgot to replace them. He scratched his neck as he let out a nervous laugh. "W-well, not that it matters! I was there when she was being cooked up in the oven so I can assure you, she is as much mine as she is her mothers!"

Alastor arched an eyebrow, but whatever snarky comment he wanted to make was cut short when Lucifer's phone beeped with another notification.

"Bel says that she is waiting for us in the lobby" said and looked over at Alastor.

The radio demon straighten up, making his way to the cristal doors without waiting anything else. Lucifer followed through, trying to keep an eye out for… anything. Truly, he didn't know if the fact he had his default expression on his face was something to be concerned with or not. This was a particular circunstance to find himself in and he would understand if Alastor would freak out, be scared or even upset about he news he just gave him. He himself freaked out a little when Charlie arriving first came to his knowledge, and that was an actual planned pregnancy.

Instead of any of that, the same wall of always was properly set on it's place and nobody would tell that anything had gone different on the day of this man. Only after looking closely someone could see the wooden way he was moving about or the grip his own hands had on each other at his back.

On the lobby, Bel was standing next to the secretaries's desk, watching the cartoons in the TV mounted at the wall that were supposed to be for her patients. When Alastor walked to wards her, she blinked slowly in his direction.

"The red one" said with her eternal sleepy voice and then saw at the imp approaching them. "Other Luci."

"How did you…?" Lucifer shook his head. "Whatever. Hi, Bel."

"Hi" said the queen.

When she didn't say anything else or moved at all, Alastor cleared his throat.

"Your Majesty" said, the strain on his patience present on his voice. There on that space it was coming out even more distorted than usual and Lucifer wasn't sure it was entirely intentional. "I believe you know why we are here."

"Oh? Oh, right" Bel blinked, as if surprised by her own memory, and then nodded. "Yes, sure. Come with me. I will take you to my own office."

The Queen of Sloth took them to an elevator door. On the panel control, Bel took out a key to press on the side. A small compartment for a button came out that she pressed.

"I had to take this measure because Bee wouldn't stop coming for party drugs" commented Bel as the elevator started going up. She then looked over at Alastor, squinting her eyes slightly. "Your aura looks awful, man."

"Thank you" said Alastor, his attention being kept on the changing numbers up above, indicating which floors they were in.

"You are welcome. It wasn't a compliment though" Bel sighed, rubbing one eye. Her hooves moved slightly and she brushed against Lucifer, staring at him blankly for a second before opening her mouth again. Lucifer was waiting for her to ask why did he looked like an imp, but it wasn't the case. "No luck in finding our Luci?"

"We are working on it" said Lucifer, managing a bit of a smile. She was doing them a favor by attending them so late at night, after all. If this Bel was anything like his own, at these hours normally she would already be sleeping on her bed. "We kinda have more of an idea of what happened thanks to Stolas, which is good, but we just need to fix the rest of the details."

Bel nodded her head and then stared blankly to a side.

"Who is Stolas?" she asked, but before Lucifer could answer there was a ding coming of the elevator and the doors opened up. Completely forgetting about her question, Bel came out after Alastor and walked with them through a hallway until she opened up a door in the end. Her office in question looked like for any other doctor in her ring, just with more equipment for even more exams and a wall with an rainbow full of different color pills waiting to be used.

"Alright. Sit here" said the queen, moving a curtain to reveal a bed. Bel brought with her hoove a chair to sit in front of her. After a bit, she looked at him. "What is that you want?"

Lucifer sighed, squeezing his brow.

"A pregnancy test" said.

"Oh, right. I need to get it" Bel stand up to look something on her desk.

Alastor's lip twitched for a second. But otherwise he stayed perfectly still as Bel came back, giving him a little stick for him to put on his mouth. Alastor looked like actually putting effort into not biting the fingers of Bel as she took the stick back. She shook the test on her hand and then looked at the color shifting in the other extreme. A clear purple that broke the grey that it was before.

"You are pregnant" said Bel simply, throwing it to a trash can.

A loud sound of feedback radio, as if crushing two microphones togehter, was heard as the smile of Alastor broke further on his face, looking both angry and tense like a rope about to snap under pressure. Bel lifted her hands in a half hearted appeasing gesture.

"Is that it?" questioned Alastor, glaring at her. "I came here for an actual explanation beyond that nonsense! To tell that idiot over there that he was wrong! That is insane! I don't have the body for something like that! I would know if I did!"

Lucifer covered his ears at the screeching sound. Alastor passed a hand over his hair.

"You have to be wrong" The high pitch tone of his voice came out without a filter. "That has to be a mistake."

"It's not that kind of pregnancy" said Bel calmly. She slowly returned to her chair in front of Alastor. "That test was for a different kind. I haven't seen them in a long while, but they still happen. The womb is a magical one. I guess since now you and Luci are both on the same species as fallen…" Alastor was taken aback, unaware that she knew. Bel blinked. "Why the shock? We the other sins came from Heaven too. We always recognize our own."

"So what?!" asked Alastor, regaining his previous anger and grabbing to it with both hands as if it was his only safety left. "Why does that matter? Just because we are like that, doesn't mean… that can happen!"

"With magic anything is possible" said Bel as if it was obvious and she frowned slightly, patting her chin with her knuckles. "How do I explain…? When you want something done with your magic, you first imagine it, right?"

"Do not talk to me like a child" growled Alastor, his antlers growing behind his head. "I know how to use my own magic. I made my own daughter with it! I was the one who introduced that idea to my husband!"

Bel didn't seemed offended by his tone. She remained as neutral as if Alastor's yelling was any other normal conversation.

"Then you know already what can happen if two people with similar magic want something at the same time" she said and then shrugged. "That was it. No more easy or complicated than that. During a moment of… intimacy, you both must have wanted a child and so both your magics combined created the circumstances for it. Don't you remember ever thinking that?"

Alastor froze in place. Lucifer turned to a side, now sure that definitely he shouldn't be there to hear any of this. His actual Lucifer should be, delightful or rightfully freaking out however he saw fit.

Bel tilted her head.

"Do you want it?" asked, her voice even slower than usual. Alastor frowned at her as if he didn't understood. "The prengancy is rather early, maybe just a few days of starting. If you want to stop it, it won't take more than a minute. You would just have to drink a potion to undue that accumulation of magic. It won't hurt at all. Either way it's not my job to judge" added, looking to a side. "It's your choice."

Lucifer couldn't help to look over at Alastor, but the attention of the radio demon was on Bel with a face that seemed as if he had just stopped a second before killing her. Alastor observed down to his abdomen and moved a shaky hand to put above. There wasn't any visible bump visible under his black suit just yet and there wouldn't be in a while.

"I… " Alastor blinked, without lifting his head. "The thought crossed my mind. I had no idea that Lucifer too… We never talked about it."

"I understand" Bel nodded. "If you aren't sure now, you can go home and think it over. Like I said, it would be a quick and easy process at this stage. Luci can just talk to me when you are ready. You wouldn't even need to come, I can make a quick visit."

"No" said Alastor, his ears turn all the way back, as if defeated. He took a deep, long, sustained breath, with a far away stare as if he couldn't believe what he was saying. "I will… I will keep it. If we both wanted it, I should be able to honor that."

"If that is what you want" Bel sighed slowly, rubbing her own eyes as she gazed at the bed. Probably lamenting she couldn't just be on one right at that moment. "I have to tell you then that magical pregnancies of this nature are different than the biological kind. In order to keep growing, you will need magic from the father or it won't adquire form, even with your own magic to sustain it" Alastor lifted his head and Bel, despite not looking at him, nodded at the silent question. "Yes, similar to what you did for Charlie. With the difference being is your body instead of an egg now and you don't need to transform a doll. If you don't want this Luci to help you, I can find a donor for you."

At the mention of the tiny king, Alastor took notice of Lucifer standing in the same room as if he completely forgot that he was there. Lucifer saw the way he was eyeing him, letting the silence hang between them, and he cleared his throat.

"I can do it" said and Alastor seemed first relieved, before he lowered his head against his chest, squeezing the sides of the bed with his claws. Lucifer could not find it on himself to be upset at all. Obviously this was still far from what he would have prefered to. "It's uh… the least I could do. That way it's still the same magic as the father, right?"

"Yes. Is that okay with both of you?" asked Bel, finally returning her eight eyes back to Alastor.

Alastor bit his lips strong, until a tiny droplet of golden blood started to fall his chin. but nodded all the same.

"Good. That is easier. For now just small dosages is enough. I would say just 1 minute of transference one day a week. The more the baby grows, they will need more magic. In a month you should come back so we can monitor how it's going. Oh…" Bel blinked and reached out, tapping on the wrist of Alastor with the very tip of her tentacle-arm. "This consumes magic too. Try not to use it if there is no need."

Alastor rolled his eyes. He could have assumed that already on his own.

"Anything else?"

"Mmm" Bel's eyes rolled all over the room, as if consciously looking on her brain for an answer. As Alastor was stabbing her thirty times through his eyes, she finally blinked. "Oh. No. That is all. You can have Luci contact me if there is any issue."

"Perfect then" Alastor jumped out of the bed, walking over to the door. "Appreciated it, your Majesty" said with a quick nod of his head before leaving.

Lucifer offered to Bel a lopsided smile.

"Thank you for receiving us so late. H-how much…"

"It's fine" said Bel, yawning into her hand. "I am not charging anything. Just keep that baby safe until our Luci is back. He will be sad and don't glow if anything happens to them. Oh" said just when Lucifer was about to go with Alastor as well.

"Yes?" said with a sigh.

"If the stress is too much, he can have these" said Bel, taking out a pill bottle from her coat to give it to him. "It won't affect the health of the baby. One to ease his emotions and let him sleep. Two for just sleeping."

It wouldn't be the same Bel he knew if she wasn't offering pills to solve some problem.

"Alright" accepted it all the same, smiling. "Thank you a lot, Bel."

"He is not glowing" commented Bel instead of addressing him, looking up the ceiling. "Too much clouding it."

Lucifer already had no clue what she was talking about. But it wasn't going to be the first time she said out of pocket things like that.

"Okay, well… thanks. Have a good night. Be texting you for anything" said, sending her a wave he was sure she didn't even see as he closed on the door. Alastor was waiting at the end of the hallway, arms crossed and a expression like he wanted to be angry, but didn't know at what. "Hey" called softly. Alastor barely moved his head to aknowledge him. "Ready to be back?"

"I was just waiting for you to finally appear."

Pregnant or not, Lucifer was quickly reminded this was still very much the same old Alastor. He bite his tongue as he opened up the portal, making them appear on the hallway between the two towers that made the hotel. Lucifer turned back into his original form with a simple snap and Alastor huffed, as if seeing that annoyed him somehow.

"Well, uh, Bel said…" started Lucifer as Alastor moved to his door, opening up. More than likely wanting some alone time to take all of this in. "Ah, alright, I guess good night then?"

Alastor lifted his head, a half lid stare that had zero enthusiasm behind.

"Let's finish with this" said, opening up the door further. "The transference of magic" added when Lucifer could just stand there, confused.

"Oh. Now?"

"Now" Alastor sighed. "I am not any more happier about it than you are. Which is why we should just rip that bandaid off before we just decided it's best to delay it and end up affecting… them."

Without waiting for Lucifer to reply, he came inside his bedroom. Lucifer took a tentative step inside and realized their deal wasn't keeping him away. Alastor was allowing him to get involved on this, openly so.

"I mean… yeah, that makes sense" commented, finally going inside and closing the door behind him.

Alastor took out his suit jacket and vest, leaving it to two tnetacles to take them both back to the wardrove. Then he took a seat, supporting his elbows on his knees and looking at him with no more affection than to a random cockroach on his way.

"Um" Lucifer took a couple of steps closer, avoiding his gaze. "I kinda need you to… you know… the shirt. Out."

"Do you have to?"

"Y-yeah" Lucifer passed a hand over his hair and scratched his own neck. "I need direct contact for it to work. Or else all the energy is just going to the fabric which, hey, if you want an echanted shirt that is all good, but it won't do much for the baby" He saw Alastor scowling and he remembered his reaction to have a shoulder touched, fully dressed too. "I-I am sorry" said, not knowing exactly for what. The whole situation? The touching that had to happen? The being the wrong Lucifer to do this with? The telling him about the baby? All of the above?

"It's not your fault" said Alastor, not really trying to be gentle as much as saying a fact. He cracked his neck casually and straighten up, opening the last buttons of his black shirt until his flat abdomen was visible. Lucifer rolled up his sleeve, pretending that he didn't saw the way that Alastor touched his own skin, pressing down slightly as if trying to touch his baby already, before letting his hand fall. "Just finish with this."

"Whatever you say" said Lucifer, trying to sound cheery and then cringing because, what the fuck was there to be cheery about? Fighting with his owm embarassment, he conjured up a perfect replica of the chair Alastor was in and sat down in front. Alastor took out a pocket watch from his pants and opened up the cover. One minute to do this, not one second more. He swallowed up. "Ready?"

Alastor's head nodded without lifting his gaze and Lucifer reached out, his palm making contact with the short soft fur there. Without looking at the demon or pay attention at the way he flinched, Lucifer accomodated the rest of his palm and willed his magic out. A faint golden glow appeared around his hand, illuminating under the sides of the shirt serving as a curtain.

After thirty seconds of pure silence, only broken out by the crackling of the fire, Lucifer found himself looking up to Alastor. Still concentrated on the small hand counting every second, the face of the radio host seemed to contain to the best of his capacity a strong desire to bite his hand or head off, whichever he could reach first. His shoulders twitched slightly and his free hand over the armrest was closing and opening with a nervous energy he couldn't do anything about.

Never a minute had seemed so large before.

"Does…" started out and Alastor gave him a quick side glare. "I just wanted to ask how does it feel. I have never seen a pregnancy like this so I don't know. Is it helping?"

"I don't know" Alastor shrugged. "It's different."

"Ah."

What a productive conversation.

"That is enough" said Alastor, contracting his own stomach away from him and closing his pocket watch. Lucifer nodded and straighten up on his chair as well, pretending he was entranced by the green fire to see Alastor button up his shirt again. "You can go now."

"Yeah, sure" Lucifer stand up, but turned around the chair to hold the back. "I-I feel like I owe you an apology."

Alastor gave him a tired look.

"Do you now" He groaned, rubbing his temple. "Save it. I don't want you treating me with kid's gloves from now on because of this. The last thing I need is your concern."

"It's not that" said Lucifer, frowning. "For fuck's sake, can't I just try to do a decent thing here without you shitting all over it?"

He had been a dick since he arrived, intentionally so. Part of it was because of who Alastor was on his universe, but it was also just his own need to assert some form of control in a context in which he didn't had any. This Alastor… maybe deserved it a bit, but that wasn't excuse for his own mistakes on poking him further.

"Your Majesty" said Alastor, looking at him straight. "You did enough. Let's leave it at that."

"But…"

"Stop" Alastor stand up, going up to the door and holding it open for him. "I don't need it or want it. For now, let's just agree to keep this between us."

"Wait, really? You are not going to tell Charlie and Emily?"

"If there is a possibility of announce it with my husband before it becomes too obvious, I prefer that" said Alastor, firmly. "They are just going to get more worried than they already are and for what? It's not going to change anything."

"Yeah, but still… don't they deserve to know?"

In an instant Alastor's tentacles grabbed him by the ankles and dragged him to the door, despite his protests. Alastor looked upon him from above.

"My husband deserves to be here for it" declared, closing the door and forcing Lucifer to sit upright quickly to avoid get hit on the head.

He stared at the door with a frown and stand up, cleaning up his clothing. Fucking asshole. When he felt the form of the pill bottle on his pants, he rolled his eyes and knocked again. If he wanted him to keep treating him the same, then by all means he could do that.

"Hey, jackass, Bel asked me to give you these pills if you need them. One for calming down before going to sleep and two for just sleeping. She said it won't affect the baby so it's fine."

A shadow appeared in the middle of the door. Before he could understand the point of it, a tentacle reached out to grab the bottle out of his hand and dissapear on the shadow, eventually dissapearing into the wood.

"You are welcome!" said loudly, predictably without any response after. The barrier around the whole door was lifted out again, according to their deal. "Asshole" mumbled to himself, but stayed a moment later as if to listen in something.

But either because of the deal or Alastor just being that silent, nothing was reaching to his ear and he had to give up.

[imaginejamesandsirius]

Hi, could you write a fic about Chubby!Harry coming home from school in a bad mood and not really eating any of his dinner (he normally wolfs it down then has seconds, so this worried James and Sirius) and then his dads ask him what’s wrong and it turns out people have been bullying him at school and the teachers have been ignoring it, and now some of them are getting involved too?

Lots of body-positive, hurt/comfort fluff, with protective Sirius and James going and giving the school a piece of their mind?

((A/N: Warning for mentions of bullying fat people and fatphobia.))

When Harry gets off the train and isn't bursting with happiness at seeing them again, Sirius tries not to take it personally. Harry is a teenager now, and it makes sense if he's more sad to leave his friends behind-- nothing compares to staying in the same dormitory as the best mates, he knows-- than happy to see his parents again.

He shares a look with James as they leave the station, and they agree that he'll shake it off soon enough.

Except he doesn't. His mood gets worse and worse. James practically drags him to the dinner table that night, and Harry only pokes at his food with a clenched jaw instead of eating it.

"Haz?" Sirius ventures.

Harry looks up from his plate, meeting his eyes dully.

"Is everything okay?"

"Fine."

"Are you sure?" James asks, unconvinced.

"Yes."

"It's just, you're not eating. I thought you liked Shepherd's pie," Sirius says. He would be worried that it didn't turn out except his piece is fine-- rather tasty, actually, since he has plenty of experience making it.

"I don't have an appetite is all."

"Did you eat a lot on the train?"

Harry's looks askance and gives a small shrug. He's lying, but as much as Sirius wants to get to the bottom of the matter, cornering Harry isn't going to help anything.

"It's alright. I'll set some aside so you can have it before you go to bed tonight," Sirius says, trying his best to smile like he doesn't suspect anything amiss.

"No, it's... it's fine," Harry tries. "I'll just eat a bit now."

While James and Sirius finish eating, Harry manages all of two bites.

"Alright Harry, that's enough," James says, pushing his empty plate away from himself so he can put his folded arms on the table. "What's wrong?"

Harry's expression turns pained. "Do I eat too much?"

"No, not at all," Sirius says, as James shakes his head. He isn't sure there is such a thing as eating too much, unless it makes one sick-- and Harry has never eaten so much that he puked. "Why would you think that?"

"Some people at school said..." Harry trails off, but it's not from a lack of words, it's from shame. His cheeks colour a self-conscious red.

"What did they say?" James asks sharply.

"I dunno," Harry mumbles. It's an obvious lie, and he continues on, almost as if he didn't say it at all. "That I'm... pigging out. That I'd lose weight if I ate less."

Sirius feels like his stomach drops to the floor.

"Who said that to you?" James asks.

Harry's shoulder shrink in on himself like he wants to disappear, but he answers the question without further prodding. "Everyone says it. Even the professors."

Sirius forces his voice to come out calmly. The last thing he wants is to sound angry and make Harry regret telling them. "Which professors?"

"Pa, I don't want to make a big deal out of it."

Both of his parents have to hold back the response that it is a big deal, because that's not going to help Harry feel better. A shared look between the two of them confirms that the professors will be hearing about it, but they're not sure how to handle the conversation right in front of them. Sirius tilts one corner of his mouth down-- he can't think of anything to say.

James clears his throat uncomfortably and looks back to Harry. Harry's gaze is trained on his barely touched meal, missing the quick interaction his fathers had. "You should be happy," James says, and it feels so simple and James to Sirius that he can't help but smile. "We're here to help you be happy. It's not a big deal to talk to your professors about something they shouldn't be doing or letting happen in the first place. One of the Defense professors in our day had it out for Pa, and your grandparents stepped in for him."

"I asked them not to, and I was embarrassed about it at the time, but it helped," Sirius adds softly. His heart aches looking at the warring emotions on their child's face. He recognises it from his own tumultuous teenage years; he hoped that Harry would never have to deal with anything that made him feel this way, but maybe growing up would always include something horrible.

Harry shifts uncomfortably. Then, so quietly they can barely hear, he lists the names of two professors. "Nobody says anything around the other professors, but they're..."

"We'll take care of it," James promises.

Sirius can't let his son sit there and look so sad, not when he can do something about it. He gets out of his seat and rounds the table to hug Harry from behind.

"Pa," Harry says, embarrassed, but in the usual way he is with his parents' antics, rather than personal shame.

"You're perfect, pup, you know that?"

"I'm not a pup anymore," Harry argues.

"You'll always be my pup."

"I'm glad to see you didn't deny the perfect part," James says, looking at them with a smile growing on his face.

Sirius keeps on hugging him because Harry isn't trying to get rid of him.

James's eyes flicker to Harry's plate once more. "Haz, Lily was heavy too." They don't talk about Lily much. She hadn't wanted to be involved after he was born, but then she died shortly after. It feels worse to not mention her role in Harry's existence, so they try to walk the line. Harry shares her genetics, and right now, that is worth talking about. "She was healthy, just like you are. There's nothing wrong with being fat."

Sirius loosens his arms and stands up enough to press a kiss to the top of Harry's head. He didn't want to let go, but he gets the feeling that he should anyways. He gives him a parting squeeze and rounds the table to give James a hug because his husband, at least, will always hug him back. With James's hand coming up to touch his arm, he feels grounded enough to offer, "Do you want me to find you something else to eat?"

"No, this- this is fine. Thanks." Harry takes a small bite, and they go from there.

*

In private-- and with a silencing spell to ensure Harry can't overhear-- they rage. They both need to rant and curse anyone who would treat Harry this way, and when it's just the two of them, they can do it. 

It's not only the two professors, it's the Gryffindor prefects too. Harry made a point of pretending like it wasn't that big of a deal the whole time, even though it was obvious he was hurting. He didn't tell them the names of all the students, just the ones with a bit more power. Prefects in the various Houses, a few upperclassmen. He even stressed that his friends told off anyone that said it, but they had their own studies and it's not like he needs them to look after him anyways. He tried so hard to downplay it while still answering their questions. It was understandable, but infuriating.

After they get the first wave of it out of their systems, it's time to plan. Professor Dumbledore is the Headmaster so he'll have to be involved in some fashion, but he's not the one who will be dealing with the situation-- that'll be Professor McGonagall. She's the Head of House for Gryffindor, and much more hands on than Dumbledore could ever be. She should be looking after Harry now that the prefects can't be trusted to do a bloody thing except add to it.

When they manage to get McGonagall on the floo, she is gratifyingly concerned. When they mention that the Gryffindor prefects are part of the problem, she looks incensed.

"I wanted it to feel better," James says, after they're done talking to her and she's gone from their fireplace.

"What do you mean?"

"I wanted to feel good after we took care of it. Maybe... I dunno, happy? Happy that Harry won't have to deal with it anymore, but I don't. I just feel angry, same as I did before."

"I know what you mean," Sirius says, taking James's hand in both of his own. "Maybe it'll feel good once he goes back to school and doesn't have to deal with it anymore. Right now, he's still with us. It's like nothing's changed yet."

"Yeah, maybe," James says noncommittally.

Sirius waits for him to finish whatever thought is in his head that's giving him so much trouble and isn't disappointed.

"I'm mad that it happened at all."

"Me too," Sirius agrees softly.

"I thought making sure it won't happen again would make that go away, but it didn't. I'm still angry."

Sirius squeezes his hand. He is too. He's not sure anything's going to make it disappear. "As long as it gets better, we'll move on."

"Right." James smiles at him. "Of course, you're right."

[gillie266]

Yeein' On That 'Haw Ch. 6-- [Rapidly Approaching Monkey Noises]

I was still grappling with my current situation as I began following the stream toward who knows where. My strides were long and unsteady, and I occasionally had to grab onto a nearby tree to keep myself from tipping over and smashing my newly phone-head open on the ground. 

My thoughts continued to run rampant. Was I really conscious? Was I in a coma? Why did I hear gunshots right before I blacked out? Did Violet get gunned down along with me, and I was reincarnated in the arcade machine? If so, is she in here with me? Maybe it was just an act of divine intervention. Actually, no, that was stupid. 

The sounds of the brook thankfully muted most of my less sane thoughts, but they couldn’t silence my worries about what I was going to do when night fell. For all I knew, there could be monsters that come out at night in this strange reality I have found myself in. Or worse, some eldritch creatures or shadow clouds. I made a vague plan that involved maybe climbing a tree and tying myself to a branch to prevent falling out of it– Hunger Games style. At least then I would be safe from most predators. 

Speaking of the Hunger Games, I was beginning to get a little peckish. Hauling my own head around on my shoulders had proven to be quite the workout, and that along with hiking through the forest had caused me to begin working up an appetite. But I don’t eat a ton, so it shouldn’t have been hard to track something down. 

…It was, in fact, hard to track something down. I only wound up finding a small bush of red berries. I couldn’t tell if they were poison berries or not, but I decided to have a go at eating them anyway. I know, stupid. But I came across a problem: I had no mouth. I didn’t even know if I could eat. If I could eat, then I didn’t know how. I supposed I would have to go hungry until I figured out how to eat things with a phone for a head. I shoved the berries into my pocket for safekeeping. Yes, gross. 

Eventually, the sun completely disappeared below the horizon, and I felt my anxiety spike. I really didn’t like the dark– I had like six different night lights in my bedroom back home. Oh, how I longed for the sight of my delicious night lights. I debated starting a fire, but if there was one thing I’ve learned from horror movies and games with forest settings, it’s that fires attract bad guys. So I supposed I was stuck with my crippling terror of the dark for the night. 

I glanced around, squinting as best as I could to adjust my eyes– optical sensors?-- to the darkness and approached one of the strangely pink-tinted trees. I felt around for any handholds before carefully climbing the length of the tree. It was significantly more difficult to do so than it was back home– mainly because of the several pounds of phone strapped to my head! 

I made it to a rather sturdy branch and slung my leg over it, effectively seating myself and leaning my back against the trunk. I sighed in a mixture of relief and exasperation while I processed the day’s events. My head was a phone, I probably died in a museum robbery, and now I was in a seemingly alternate universe with no friendly faces or society in sight. On top of that, I was probably about to die in these pink-tinted woods! That was somehow worse than dying in regular-tinted woods. 

Even worse, I was bored. I didn’t have any sketchbooks or pencils with me, nor did I have my phone– my cell phone– so I couldn’t lose myself in Flappy Bird for hours until I felt tired enough to somehow doze off in this tree. I supposed I would just have to use my thoughts to entertain myself until I was tired. It was too dark and I didn’t know enough about the area to keep traveling at night. 

I’m not sure exactly how much time passed. It could have been hours, minutes, maybe only a few seconds. The moon didn’t tell me much. I was just grateful for the fact that there even was a moon in this universe. Regardless, after an indeterminate amount of time, I began hearing noises. What sounded like several sets of footsteps and… squawking? Like… of birds. Hey, at least I knew birds existed. Maybe I could hunt them down for, like… makeshift wings or something. 

I glanced over the side of the branch I rested on, using what little light the moon provided to see if I could find the source of the squawking. It sounded pretty close, so I assumed that I could. I was met with the sight of a pack of three birds– white ones, waddling along and honking as they went. Honestly, they looked so unbelievably stupid. But here’s the thing: they had fucking paper shredders for heads. What the fuck?!

Based on my limited knowledge of birds, without seeing their heads, I assumed they were either geese or swans. I couldn’t quite tell from this height. That confused me– didn’t those birds hang out at ponds? What were they doing in the middle of a forest? Maybe there was a pond nearby. Hey, maybe that meant I was close to a park or something! I felt a glimmer of hope surface in my phone-head. I still couldn’t get over that, man. 

My only issue was these birds. If they were geese, I could probably walk right past them as long as I didn’t get too close. If they were swans, though… I had a problem. Swans are mean little bastards. They’ll break your legs for looking at them wrong. But hey, I still wasn’t sure if I was dreaming, so I thought I might as well take a gamble. 

I leaned over the edge of the branch and cupped a hand around my lips before making a gentle honking noise. Don’t look at me like that, it seemed like a good idea at the time. You gotta see it from my point of view– if I honked at the birds, and they were geese, they would probably just look at me funny and move on. If they were swans, they would instantly rip me to shreds, no pun intended, and I would be free of this phone-hell. It was a win-win!

I could have sworn I heard these birds’ necks snap as they turned to look up at me. I froze. They froze. They honked in perfect unison. 

Then they were practically screaming, making terribly aggressive noises as they instantly took off and fuckin’ ascended into the tree just so they could violently begin attacking me. Okay, they were swans! Great! Fuck! 

I’m not even sure what happened– it was a complete blur of screaming, flailing, and feathers that I hardly noticed when I fell out of the tree. It was kinda rad, honestly. That was, until the swans followed me and continued attacking me. Now that I thought about it, dying from being torn apart by swans was not how I wanted to go. So I began fighting back! I think I hit them once or twice. My memory was too blurred by adrenaline to properly retain any of this. 

Then, just as I thought my tombstone would say “Herein lies (Y/N), mauled by avian pond dinosaurs, RIP in pieces” I heard a distant crashing sound. The swans halted their ripping and tearing and looked up, only to squawk threateningly before scattering and waddling away. 

I literally thought I died there. But when I opened my (metaphorical?) eyes, expecting to see either a white void or a very handsome man welcoming me to Hell, I wasn’t expecting to see a goddamn gorilla. Well, kind of a gorilla. It had a handheld camera for a head. It looked vaguely curious as it looked down at my bloodied and battered form. 

Okay, be honest, what else could I do here but scream? It was a monkey! Monkeys are mean! They kill people just for funsies! I wished the swans would have just finished me off. 

Startled, the gorilla creature made a grunting noise before jolting back a few feet. I scrambled to a seated position, still screaming, before my back hit the trunk of the tree that I just fell out of. It’s a miracle my spine didn’t break or something. 

After a moment, my screaming died down, and the gorilla and I only looked at each other. Hang on, why was this gorilla bipedal? And why did it have a semi-human body? Two things could be happening here. Either this was just how gorillas were in this reality, or I had just become a bigfoot truther. I hoped it was the latter. 

I swallowed a mixture of saliva and blood before carefully pushing myself to my feet, phone-head components rattling about as I did. The gorilla posted up, seeming tense and… almost frightened. We stared at each other wordlessly for a moment before I lifted a hand to wave at the creature. “Um… hello.”

The monkey gave a startled grunt before darting backward another few feet, as if to run. I extended both hands in a somewhat calming gesture. “Hang on, hang on!” I frantically attempted to soothe the creature. If it wasn’t trying to kill me to death, then maybe I could try taming it. Maybe I could get a monkey mount. 

It halted its movement, tilting its camera-head confusedly for a moment. I then remembered the berries in my pocket and slowly reached inside to retrieve them. I don’t know what I was thinking– if they were poisonous, then I might have either killed the gorilla or made myself its enemy. But I wasn’t quite thinking right– I was bleeding out and recovering from a swan attack. 

It took a few good moments of coaxing, but I managed to get the creature close enough to extend my hand to it. It leaned forward, sniffed the berries, and instantly devoured them by shoving them into a hole at the base of its head. I thought it ate my hand along with the berries at first, but it didn’t. Once it finished literally decimating those berries, it looked at me expectantly for more. I shrugged. “No more. No more berries. I think.” I checked my pockets. “Nope. No berries.” 

The creature deflated disappointedly. I winced. “Yeah, I know, it sucks. At least now I know they weren’t poisoned… and that there’s a– hang on,” I tilted my chin upward and felt along the base of my head and, sure enough, there was a small slot there. I assumed it was for food. Gross. 

I was shocked that this monkey thing was sticking around. If it was friendly, then… maybe I could get a tactical monkey companion. But I had to figure out exactly what it was first. It seemed to have some form of linguistic ability, so I cleared my throat and gestured to myself. “Me, (Y/N),” I nodded enthusiastically, watching as it matched my movement. I pointed at it. “You, gorilla?” 

It shook its head insistently. Christ, what was I getting myself into? I swallowed and tried again. “You… big…foot?” 

This creature immediately nodded aggressively, pounding on its chest with enough force to shake the ground beneath my feet. Holy shit. I was interacting with bigfoot, a literal cryptid, and he had saved me from being mauled to death by savage pond dinosaurs! Good lord, maybe this arcade machine wasn’t so bad after all. 

I laughed incredulously, the high-pitched sound causing Bigfoot to jolt slightly. “No fuckin’ way, dude,” I began, resting a hand on where my forehead would be. “Okay, Bigfoot, can you point me toward society? People, perchance?” 

Bigfoot tilted his head for a moment before I gestured to myself. “More like me. People. Humans.”

He nodded and pointed vaguely to the east, and I enthusiastically gripped his free hand to shake it. Christ, I was shaking hands with Bigfoot. He tensed. “Thank you, Bigfoot! You don’t understand how rough I’ve had it, man, it’s been insane–”

Without warning, Bigfoot made a frightened noise and yanked his hand away from mine before turning and booking it further into the woods. I didn’t chase him, because I knew he could rip me apart if he chose to, but a part of me couldn’t help but feel disappointed. I met Bigfoot, he gave me directions, and then he ran away. Oh, well. I had my directions. I turned and began marching to the east, my wounds still actively bleeding and my head still actively a phone. 

I was still afraid of the dark, though. Fuck. 

[toothycollections]

As per the text post: tell me about your fav oc!!

It's Vera. They're my little, initially human, creature that is forced to dimension hop upon each death that they or their best friend, Briar, manage to stumble into. They don't know why this is happening to them and their bestie. But, through every universe that they are catapulted they learn more about what's going on while feeling like there's less and less control over any of this and the possibility to do something about it grows smaller each day. And their hunger grows with each jump refusing to be satiated by anything but the flesh of other sentient and sapient life.

To say that they're stressed and desperate is an understatement.

Despite this, they keep trying to make jokes and lightenthings up a bit. Every absurd story they pull from nowhere to tell Briar is a tiny escape. Bad puns and inappropriate joke are an effort to remain human and sane. It's tough.

Sometimes, no one seems real to them outside of Briar. And it gets so easy to just push people into unknowns and see what happens to them, like they're video game characters you toss into a blender to see if violence was programmed into the game. But, it's not a game. It's reality, and it makes it so much worse when their empathy clicks back into place and they realize what they've done.

So, before a breakdoen can overtake them, the jokes continue and weave themselves into darker corners, and Vera doesn't know what it means to be a person anymore. They know feeding, fighting, hiding, death, and pained laughter. Briar is still there, but they both shift - in skin, in bone, in organs, in being organic at all - with each jump and neither can recognize the sludge coming out of their wounds for the split second before it heals back up.

Hovering on the edge of reality is something that keeps them going and ot has a voice that only Briar can hear. Can't break down when Briar is around, having it worse, and Vera making it worse with their appetite chewing away at the few friends the two of them make. Solutions have to be somewhere, and they'll dig through every book and bone to find one.

But they break down. Dig through the flesh of their own body to see what's beneath, eat the pieces of themself that have been used as weapons even though it does nothing to sate hunger, pain, or fear. Then they have to get up again because there is no death, only this endless cycle. And it's better to try and make someone laugh.

Briar belongs to @machinedemon and I definitely recommend rping or just world and story building with friends.

[taiscerayne2426]

MEDICAL ISSUES AHEAD

I'm not asking for money, just need to get some things off my chest

So back in October of 2022, I started having extreme heart palpitations, randomly and seemingly without any provocation. I could be sitting, walking, laughing, eating, even sleeping and my heart would just pound upwards of 130 bpm for 10, 20 minutes at a time. I'd struggle to breathe, fight passing out, and try to stay upright.

As these episodes got more and more frequent and severe, my partner insisted I go into the ER. I didn't have a primary Dr at the time, so I didn't have anyone else to go to. The ER ran a bunch of tests, found nothing at all wrong, and sent me home with a heart monitor.

I met with a cardiologist, and I'll be honest he was by far one of the worst doctors I've ever seen. He dismissed everything I said, belittled my experience, diagnosed me with POTTS, then sent me home on what he said was a beta-blocker to slow down my heart. Fine. Not great, but fine. Until I get to the pharmacy and they say "This isn't a beta-blocker, this is an anti-depressant. I wonder why he told you that?" Never saw that cardiologist again.

Fast-forward to December 2022. My job has let me go because I'm barely able to hold myself upright and can pass out at any time so I'm not medically cleared to drive. My partner is burning both ends of the candle trying to keep me safe and manage his college classes. We're struggling to survive off one income in the city.

My episodes get rapidly worse, then slowly start tapering off until they're only happening once a day. Then it's once a week, but the worst it'd been thus far. Then, for no discernable reason, they stop in February 2023.

I was overjoyed. Finally, FINALLY I could get back to life. We moved to a new town, a smaller quieter place with cheaper rent and less violence. I got a new job nannying two amazing kids and babysitting a third once a week. My partner and I both continued college. Everything was going so, so well.

They came back. About 4 weeks ago, beginning of June 2023. It was slow at first but it's getting worse and worse.

And it's fucking scary, dude. I find myself physically incapable of taking a breath for so long that I sob when it finally comes. It's like everything in my body just. freezes. goes stiff. I can't feel anything, I can't move anything. I can barely signal my partner so he notices. We can't find anything that helps.

I'm not able to drive anymore. I can barely support myself to move from the bed to my desk. I pass out if I stand in the kitchen too long pondering what to eat. I'm on a cane now, for the first time. It helps a bit, makes me feel a bit less useless.

I'm barely eating. Don't have an appetite. I've lost more weight in the last few weeks than I want to admit, and I was already dangerously underweight.

The scariest part, though, is that I can feel myself fighting to hold on every time I have an attack. I fight so fucking hard to stay, because I can FEEL that if I lose consciousness, I'm gone. And it's getting harder and harder to fight. Don't misunderstand, I have no desire to die. I'm fighting for a reason after all. I'm just getting weaker, and it's getting more and more difficult.

I let my PCP know that bit today. She won't see it til she's in the office next, but until this new heart monitor comes off on Monday they won't be able to give me any answers anyway. 2 more weeks. Just 2 more weeks til I hopefully get some results. Because if I don't, I'm... gods. I'm fucking scared.

[laurenceslife]

Chapter 34

            Next day, Larry started to speed the detoxification up, and his parents persuaded him to also start the school year that fall formally as a private pupil, not to drop out of one more school year, anyway, the detoxification would come to an end soon, and the withdrawal symptoms would cramp him from studying only in the beginning.

In the morning, Larry usually didn't smoke heroin so he went to the restaurant with Kristen to have breakfast with Martin and Dennis because he had still been having an appetite.

That day Larry had to go to the set, too. Kristen was also going with him to at least be together during the more powerful withdrawal symptoms, and to compensate for the feeling by kissing and embracing when they would feel unwell. Till lunch break, it wasn't necessary, Kristen was only watching the filming; during lunch-time, they were eating together with Martin and Emilio, and in the afternoon, the girl felt so unwell that Larry left the scene to comfort her.

- I didn't allow it! - Francis rebuked him indignantly and furiously.

The boy was still only fondling the girl's face and hair.

- Poor little girl’s only standing here, and watching the filming all day to be together when either of them feels sick! - Dennis began to speak, shouting it; he had to go there to the set by the time already - If you don't let her boyfriend being next to her now, she was waiting for him in vain or only for Larry's or our sake, to reduce or stop his nausea so it wouldn't be necessary to shoot his scenes more times!

- Make her sit down now! - Martin said indignantly, too - If she's standing even longer, she faints in the end!

Dennis gave his seat over to her, and Larry sat down on another chair next to her which was an actor's place who played in some of his scenes. The couple began kissing and embracing each other there. Francis restlessly began shooting Dennis' scenes so time wouldn't be passing in vain during it either.

When Kristen had felt better, Francis didn't know if he should continue filming Larry's or Dennis's scenes, and threatened with suicide again due to his nerves, and then decided to take the opportunity that shooting the boy's scenes so much times wasn't necessary while he felt well.

Dennis let the girl sit on his seat in the future too, because she was standing for so much time, and she hadn't been completely well yet. During it, he was sitting on an actor's seat whose scenes happened to be shot.

When Larry had finished filming for that day, Kristen got sick again on the bus. - Now it's even worse than it was there - she said in a stifled voice from the nausea - I wanna get off! - she continued, groaning.

The boy spoke to stop, and got off with the girl.

- Partially I made myself sick ‘cause I was just hindering work! - Kristen said in a whining voice while walking with Larry near the bus and heaving sighs - And now it was necessary to stop the bus because of me, and it was already the second time.

- This is only the first day. Usually I don't smoke my dose now yet, only this is why my withdrawal symptoms haven't deepened yet. But from tomorrow, I’ll be in the same condition - the boy heaved a sigh by thinking about it - Moreover, I’ll have a headache and will be nauseated almost all day.

- You're right, you are the one who I should pity. And I finish it earlier, anyway.

- And you don’t have to feel this embarrassed because I must break my scenes because of your sickness, because I also must break them when I feel very much unwell, and you help so we can continue filming as soon as possible.

- And maybe I should eat less, not to feel so unwell and so it’s not necessary to stop working because of me.

- But you can't eat too less either ‘cause you’ll also have a headache from it, and you also have to think of the baby. Anyway, let's stop talking about eating now.

- By the way, will you also love me if I become fatter? - Kristen asked, laughing because she had been somehow or other better already.

- Of course; love's not over by such a trifle like that. Why? Would you feel out of me if I didn't look like an athlete? - Larry laughed, too.

- Then I wouldn't have even fallen in love with you - the girl laughed on - No, I'm just kidding. By the way, we can already go back.

- How are you feeling now?

- Much better.

- OK.

They were going back.

- Is it sure that you're already well? Can we even hurry? - the boy asked.

- I'm already hardly nauseated – his girlfriend said.

- We'll remedy that on the bus. Now let's hurry!

- This way it even sounds very good - Kristen laughed.

They hurried back to the bus without a word, got on it, and as soon as they had sat back to their seat, they had immediately began kissing, embracing each other.

They hadn’t stopped it during almost all the journey, so Kristen wouldn't be seized by she felt worse again by hurrying and by being on the bus.

- We should really stop it now! Everyone's watching us! - Kristen began to speak, grinning in embarrassment - They're already watching me since I’ve got on the bus again - she continued in a low voice.

- But are you also better or did you only say it because of that? - Larry asked.

- I'm fine! - the girl grinned again.

- So that's OK. What will we be doing in the quarters?

- Let's make a compromise! Movie-watching but with Alyssa and Sophie! - Kristen said cheerfully.

- OK. I can see that you're already in a very good mood - the boy said cheerfully, too.

- It's so good that I'm fine at last! And I owe it to you! - Kristen said, and kissed him - I'm rather not even insisting on Alyssa and Sophie! Anyway, they would wanna watch a girly movie, and we girls would outnumber them in decision.

- OK but let's choose such a movie that interests you too.

- OK! - the girl said cheerfully.

Kristen said sorry to those actors who happened to be traveling with them, for delaying the filming and their journey, and then the couple went from the hotel where the bus stopped, directly to a video rental. They chose such a movie where one of Larry's role models played in and which interested Kristen too.

They watched it in the hotel, and then went to have dinner; they went to a loose fast food restaurant with Alyssa and Sophie.

- Now I'm eating less, not to feel unwell again - Kristen said during eating.

- Today, she felt freaking unwell even twice. On the way back, it was even necessary to stop with the bus but she felt better by the outdoor air - Larry said.

- But it was already the second time! It’s freaking awkward! And it was also necessary to stop filming when I felt unwell on the set!

- But Dennis, one of my friends, replaced me, and his scenes were shot, so it wasn't that naff. Just when I would have continued my scene already, Francis was totally broken down ‘cause he didn’t know with whom to continue filming, but we could already get used to it ‘cause he's like that by every trifle.

- On the other hand, the director shouted at him well because he broke the scene. Maybe he won't even let Laurence be next to me when I'm very unwell. I mean during filming; and he's right. 

- Since you’re there to mend me, and you only watch the scenes, you also deserve my help when you need it. He should understand it. And I think he already understands it. That's why he didn't answer back to Dennis and Martin. On the other hand, he must be breaking down very much’ cause I’m extending the filming, too - the boy finished with pity in his voice.

- And is it sure that the other actors won't nag you because of that? They're also stuck here, in this one filming already for so much time, many of them without their families, and once, they’ve already well groused to you ’cause it was necessary to be shooting your scenes so many times because of your withdrawal symptoms.

- After it, they immediately said sorry, and then we even became friends.

- And won't they nag Kristen? - Alyssa began to speak.

- No, I've already said sorry to them, and they accepted it - Kristen answered.

- But their anger can still come later.

- If they think logically, they make headway with my presence as much as without me.

- Moreover, Kristen helps more than how much she wrongs ’cause Laurence will feel unwell more often, so Kristen's presence is more necessary - Sophie said.

- That's just it! So that's OK - her sister said.

- And anyway, they are friends. If they hated his love, they lost Laurence's friendship. And even if Kristen extended the filming, of course they couldn't hate her because someone mixed a drug into her drink, and now she tries to give up using it, and she can only succeed in doing it next to her love. Because once, Kristen has tried it without him, and it didn't work.

- Our friendship still isn’t that big. We're only pals. I haven't even told them that Kristen has already tried to give up using the drug and she needs me to succeed in doing it. But that's true that Kristen helps in accelerating the filming more than how much she harms - Larry said.

- And what's up with you? Have you left your not-too-big-deal date? - Kristen grinned at Alyssa.

- For the time being, I'm content with him. When someone comes who I like, I ditch him - Alyssa answered proudly and loosely.

- And the poor guy believes he’s got a chance with you.

- Why don't you tell him already now if you don't like him, anyway? - her sister asked, disapproving.

- He's suitable for being a pal.

- So why don't you tell him to be only pals?

- I'll see what I'll do. But I think he only likes me as a girl.

- Is it worth it for you that you have someone on, who will be disappointed, only to have one more pals during it? - Kristen asked with pity in her voice - There are your classmates and we too. I don't understand why you need even more pals - she said the last sentence already a bit indignantly.

- OK, you're right - Alyssa said, heaving a sigh - Maybe I treat the guy a bit unfairly.

- Maybe??? And a bit??? - Sophie also asked indignantly - You totally use him.

- OK, I've already said that you two are right! By the way, maybe he only wants friendship, too. We haven't said anything to each other about what our plan is about our meetings! - Alyssa said loosely and womanly, holding either of her elbows on the table.

- Hasn't there been any kisses? - Larry asked.

- No, although we’ve flirted.

- Then what do you think, what does he want from you and what does he think about what you want from him?

- Well, there's more of a chance that he's wanting us to be a couple but maybe he only wants an affair, and he thinks I wanna that, too. Although then he wouldn’t be dating me this long...

- So will you leave him? - her friend asked.

- OK, I'll leave him! - Alyssa said womanly and with resignation in her voice.

- And what will you say to him?

- Will you tell him the truth? - Larry asked.

- You’ll already get out of it with difficulty! - Sophie said.

- I'll just tell the truth that I tried some dates out with him but I don't like him as a dude - her sister said loosely.

- You pretty much simplified it...

- Why? It’s good that way, isn't it?

- Yes, that's a good idea - her friend smiled cheerfully.

- But next time don't use anybody! - Sophie said sullenly.

- Why? Am I wrong???

- Cool it now! You're right but she knows it now! - Kristen rebuked her.

- But what's the guarantee that she won't do it again?!

- Why, what do you think, will she do it?!

- I don't know!

- Oh! Alyssa, will you do it again? - the friend asked in a kind, calm voice.

- Avast; she would say what she wants to say, anyway!

- So I'm also a liar! - Alyssa was indignant again.

- You also bamboozled that boy by flirting with him...

- I think let's go - Larry began to speak, looking at Kristen - Kristen suffered the whole day over, and she only could watch a movie quietly, then you two aren't even able to make her night a bit better, either! - he stood up furiously, looking at the two other girls - The purpose of you guys are staying in the Philippines, isn't even to be next to her during the detoxification! You guys are only staying here to have fun, nothing else!

The two sisters looked at him with wide mouths; the third girl too, who the boy took away from there while holding her hand.

By being shocked, Kristen had been speechless even on the way, and thoughts were running in her head after it too.

- You feel unwell, don't you? - it came into her head after a while.

- I have a headache but only a little bit.

- So is this why you did this all?

- Why?! What do you think, am I wrong? Alyssa also said at the party that she loved this place! What do you think, isn't that the reason why she's staying here?!

- OK, let's suppose she did it because of that. And what about Sophie?! This all is baloney! Besides, Alyssa is my better friend than Sophie; then why exactly would she only stay here to have fun while her friend is here who's doing detoxification and is pregnant???

- OK, sorry, I just really have a headache! But they really shouldn’t quarrel exactly when you're with them! Then their duty is to help you in having your swing at least on those occasions when you don't feel unwell! And they also annoyed me now when I have a headache.

- When did you smoke your dose? - Kristen asked with commiseration.

- Already before the movie.

- And you already feel the insult that it was much less?

- Yeah. I always smoke it then.

- Is it aching very much?

- I've already said that only a little bit. But I’ve still got to defend you.

- To defend me against my friends??? - the girl was uncomprehending.

- To safeguard you against your whole day being worthless and against not bearing the detoxification.

During the rest of the way, Kristen was thinking about it in the future too.

- I also feel a little bit unwell by the fast food restaurant's food and by the tense that was there - she began to speak when they had arrived in the hotel, in front of her suite - If you still have a headache, too, and if you withdraw what you said, in front of Alyssa and Sophie, you could come in. If you deserve it, I distract your attention from your headache and let you distract my one from my nausea, too - she said in a sweet voice, nestling to him, and Larry took her waist.

- You know that I would say sorry to them for saying that, anyway - the boy said - But if I didn't wanna, I still did it if we can comfort each other in exchange for it - he finished, grinning, and kissed her. They went through the door, and then went into Kristen's room, where they were making love and sleeping together.

            Next morning, they took a shower, and then Larry went over to his own suite to change and to have breakfast; Kristen didn't dare to be having breakfast, not to feel unwell.

- I haven't seen you for a whole day - Hattie said, who was reading in the living room while her son was eating.

- Yeah; after filming, we immediately borrowed a movie and watched it, and then had dinner with the girls - Larry said loosely and in a bored manner.

- And you did all these things with Kristen. And you two were also together on the set, and then you two slept together - his mother smiled - You two are always there for each other to ease the withdrawal symptoms, and you two enjoy each other's company, anyway, too. This is good this way; now you two very much need each other. 

- And she would also need her friends, too. But last night, they still went into their tantrums after she was only waiting for me on the set till the end, and she got very sick twice - the boy said sullenly, watching his food.

- What were they arguing about?

- About one of Alyssa's businesses.

- Has that been the only one incident when they weren't dealing with cheering her upper?

- We’ve always been hitting it off with one another till then. At least when I was with them,

 too; and I’ve almost always been with them. I could still think that this tough valley girl and that harmless little girl were gonna start a good quarrel with each other over something one day... - Larry continued sullenly.

- Let's wait and see if there will be one more incident like this. And if there will be several cases, maybe you two should only meet with either of them. It doesn't affect you in a good way, either if you also have to hear their argument during withdrawal symptoms; and that's not good, either if you can't feel good at last when you don't have headache, nausea either.

- Well, yeah. Just last night, I said something to them that I regretted saying. But I said it exactly ’cause I was having a headache. While my head was only a little bit aching. On the other hand, now I feel unwell - he stood up from the chair - And anyway, we’ve got to be setting off for the set - he started towards the door.

- You don't feel very unwell, do you? - Hattie asked apprehensively.

- I'll make me mend a little bit with Kristen before we're setting off. At most the others will have to be waiting on the bus - her son said before he had stepped out through the door.

He went to the girl's suite where they were going to set off together from, anyway.

There he met Lauren.

- You’re feeling unwell? - the woman doctor asked with a worried look - Come on, sit down before you two set off - she called him there to the sofa; she was standing near it - I'll speak to Kristen.

She went to the girl's room, and spoke to her that Larry had arrived but felt unwell so they still had to wait before setting off.

- Hi - the girl apprehensively hurried to the boy who was already sitting on the sofa; she kissed and embraced him, and then sat down next to him, and was kissing him, still embracing him. Lauren hadn't been in the living room anymore.

They began kissing, embracing each other.

- I’m feeling so unwell that I don't even dare to get on the bus - Larry said. At this point, they began violently kissing and fondling each other's body, and the boy already felt a lot better soon.

- It's a lucky thing Dad didn't come out to the living room - the girl said, grinning shyly.

- Your mom surely spoke to him so he wouldn’t bother us now. They stood up from the sofa, and hurry-scurry put the lunch into a carriage, and then hurried downstairs to the bus.

- If we weren’t gonna be shooting your scenes only, we would have started already a long time ago! - Francis raged as soon as they had gotten on.

- Sorry, I felt awfully unwell – the boy said – It just would have been even worse by the bus.

- OK, anyway, sit down – the man said, still a bit sullenly.

Larry sat down with Kristen, and the bus had started. He wasn’t talking to any of the actors on purpose, because he thought it probable that he was going to begin to feel more unwell by the bus again, so they would have had to stop it so he would be able to be kissing and embracing each other with Kristen.

It really happened this way.

When they had arrived, before the filming had started, he said to Kristen to sit in his place while he would be filming, so the girl didn’t linger anymore, waiting till the breaks or until either of them would need the other one.

At lunch-time, Kristen gorged her helping fast because she hadn’t eaten anything that day yet, and last night, she also ate less for dinner than usual. Larry finished eating quickly, too, because this time he was the one who didn’t dare to eat as much as he usually did, so they also had time to talk in plenty after eating.

- What do you think, will Alyssa and Sophie accept my apology? – the boy looked at his girlfriend.

- You’ll tell them that you had a headache and that was why you said such a thing. Then it’s one hundred percent – the girl answered.

-You’re right. It didn’t even come into my head ’cause I didn’t have that bad headache – and then Larry laughed – It’s funny. I’ll use the same method which Alyssa’s gonna use. I’ll tell the truth but still not the complete truth. And it was your idea. And that other was Alyssa’s one. This is the only thing you two match about. You’re rather similar to Sophie.

- Alyssa and Sophie usually quarrel. They only don’t do it in my presence nowadays, during the detoxification and while I’m pregnant. They really mind me. This was the only case that they were at the end of their tether. There might be some more cases like this ‘cause they’re not perfect, but it will be very rare. Think about how many times they stifle their paroxysms!

- I haven’t even thought about it. How can they live together?! At least either of them could have stayed home when the other one studied here – Larry reflected.

- Well, yeah. But maybe their parents decided this way so that they’re under the necessity of getting on well with each other when they’re interdependent.

- I see. And do they get on somehow or other better with each other since then?

- Not too much.

- The lunch break has come to an end! Everybody to its place! – Francis shouted still edgily.

Not long after continuing filming, Larry was taken ill again; he was so much taken ill that he needed Kristen to put him right enough so it wouldn’t be necessary to shoot his scenes a lot of times.

- This time I’m the one who makes me stick, as an addition, I ate not long ago.  Punctually when I got to know how much your friends  try their best not to trouble you during the detoxification; and last night I spoke to them like that – he said to the girl as soon as he had gotten to her.

- It’s the same, don’t think about it now. You didn’t know it, anyway – Kristen said, and kissed him.

- I should be grateful to them for taking so much care of you. And you weren’t even angry with me – the boy continued while they were embracing and kissing each other.

They were kissing for a long time until Larry had felt better and the filming had continued.

A little time later, the boy felt unwell again, and Kristen was nauseated, too, and she also had a headache somehow or other, so the work was suspended so the boy and his girlfriend would mend each other for the continuation.

After filming, Larry went to Alyssa and Sophie’s suite to apologize. He told them that when he said those things to them in the fast food restaurant, he was having a headache. He even returned thanks to them for normally always trying to indulge her.

- I freaking hit the roof when you said such a thing about us! If you’ll be like that one more time, you can't be there when Kristen's with us! - Alyssa said resentfully, gesturing with her arms.

- Alyssa! - her sister rebuked her - He just apologized, and also, he even thanked us for taking care of Kristen like this!

- OK, I just wanted to tell it - her sister said, but according to her voice, she still had been offended.

- OK, now I'm leaving - Larry started towards the way out – Later, you'll sober up.

Next day, Larry didn’t have to go to the set.

- So how was it going, making peace with Alyssa and Sophie? – Kristen asked during the journey to a fast food restaurant where they were going to have breakfast together with some actors who didn’t have to work that day, either.

- With Alyssa, it wasn’t going too easily but I think she’ll cool down – the boy said.

- I told you that there wouldn’t be any problem. Next time or one more meeting later, she’ll be completely normal already.

- Till then, I’ve got to be very careful not to say anything that she would lose her temper with.

- Did she say that if you would conduct yourself one more time that way, you couldn’t be with us when I met with them?

- Yeah.

- And if you’ll have a headache and it will bother you that she’s still feeling offended for you? – the girl asked, frightened.

- She’ll cool down and understand that it was only because of my headache. But it’s also possible that I’ll be able to keep my wits about me, and won’t quip.

- So that’s OK. It was already because of my headache.

- That would put the lid on it for you ‘cause after last night, I think now you hardly dare to eat anything but to only sit there…

- I dare; already a lot of time has passed since then. I only don’t dare to eat too much in this case either when there’s filming that day ’cause it’s good not to take chances that you don’t have to leave the scene off even more times because of me – Kristen’s voice was tense.

- Sophie and Alyssa are right. You much more help with your presence than how much you’re harmful. You don’t have to starve yourself because of it, especially while you’re pregnant.

- And why hasn’t the director decided yet that you guys would rest only when either of us feels unwell?

- He’s totally scatter-brained after a lot of troubles that also sets back the filming and ‘cause I accelerated the detoxification. But it really would be necessary to talk to him so after I succeed in giving using up completely, and you’ll be fine and go away, the work comes to an end earlier so I can go home to you earlier, and anyway, Dennis, Martin, Emilio and the others also deserve to go home and to play in new movies at last. Not to mention the fact that Francis is upset the most ‘cause it seems like the biggest movie of his life, which he wants to be America’s biggest movie as an addition, is never gonna be finished making.

- OK, talk to him already tomorrow. And anyway, I don’t want him to feel this way because of us and don't want him to be so straggling because of us, and don’t want the actors to have to be stuck here for even longer in one filming because of us...

- OK, I’ll talk to him already tomorrow – Larry said, and kissed her.

- So that’s OK. But is it sure that he agrees to it?

- Why wouldn’t he agree to it?

- Isn’t he angry with you ‘cause after he reorganized the filming for your sake, you still accelerated the detoxification? After what happened, maybe he won’t feel too much like doing it again what you say, even though this solution’s favorable to him too, and in such a state of mind like that, maybe he won’t listen to reason but to his feelings.

- He can think under pressure too. When the storm ruined the film set, later, it came into his head that some scenes also could be shot with its wreckage. And it was really done that way. And he also could be thinking when I left the scene ‘cause you felt very unwell. And when I had been able to continue filming already ‘cause you felt better but Dennis’ scenes had been shot during it, he made a good decision that he was working with me when I was usable. So we don’t have to worry about that.

- But then why hasn’t it come into his head to only have the breaks in filming when either of us feels unwell? – Kristen asked with huge worry in her voice.

- It would only depend on time; he would realize what the solution is, anyway. I’ll just make him think of it earlier. I just started to accelerate the detoxification.

- I hope you’re right.

            Larry could only talk to Francis in the evening because the man was filming till then.

- I’m so excited about what he’ll say! – Kristen said in an almost desperate voice during dinner, and then stopped eating, and gasped for breath.

 - Do you feel unwell? – the boy asked, frightened – I’ve already said that you don’t have to worry about that. Even if he says no, what there’s not much chance of, we talk to our parents so you can stay here after the detoxification too, till the end of the filming – the boy said, fondled the girl’s hair, and kissed her.

- You’re right. I’m just so excited about you’re gonna talk to him now, as an addition, I’m eating during it!

- Do you want us to stop it and go upstairs so I appease you a bit before I talk to him?

- I’m not eating anymore, anyway, but I’ll stay with you until you finish it.

- Isn’t it bothering you that you’re seeing grub?

- Not that much how much that would bother me if you weren’t next to me until I feel better.

- I can’t compensate for your nausea during eating. And if I eat less, I’ll only later feel unwell, too.

- That’s enough, too, that you’re next to me. I’m not feeling that much ill.

- So that’s OK. But what to do till then?

- Let’s talk about something else. About something good.

- About what?

- I don’t know. Now nothing’s coming into my head from the nausea and excitement. But that reminds me that the rest of the filming’s time is gonna be much shorter from now, and we’re gonna go home soon. And our withdrawal symptoms are also gonna be over by that time already – Kristen said cheerfully – How do you imagine our life together at home, in Brooklyn?

- We’ll get to know each other’s house, and it’ll be freaking crass that after a while, we’ll so much get used to them like it’s ours; and I’ll also meet with your local friends there, and they and everything’s gonna participate in my life that are connected to you; and you’re gonna meet with a heaps of more stars who are gonna be my friends, too.

- It’s easily possible that one day, you’ll be a star, too! – the girl said, grinning and roughly.

- That would be sweet. Since some others have made it, I may make it, too, and then you can be proud of your guy’s a star.

- I’m already proud that I've got such a handsome guy, and I’m also already proud of you playing in movies and series - Kristen looked at him, smiling wistfully.

- The actors I’m working with and Francis are teaching me freaking much. I’ve already become a much better actor than I used to be. I’ve learned even so much more from them than by the courses. In the other movies, it would also be good if I could work with such good actors like them and with such good directors like Francis, who I can learn from during filming. Then I would be such a cool actor like Michael Douglas, Gregory Peck, Richard Burton, James Earl Jones, Sidney Poitier and Peter O’Toole – Larry said, grinning roughly and daydreaming – And what are your plans for the future? – he continued, smiling.

- I don’t even know yet what I wanna be. Maybe I should go to an acting course and to auditions, too, maybe I would become a famous actor, too, and then, if you become a star, it won’t be shameful that who you’re dating isn’t a celebrity like almost everybody else – Kristen laughed, a bit embarrassed.

- The reason why many great actors have famous partners, isn’t because everybody else is unworthy of them, but most of the people they know, are from filming and movie-events; and stars are pretty careerists, and their partners should become imbued with what they became imbued with, to understand why they have less time for them. But they still also have a lot of such girlfriends who aren’t famous when they don’t have a wife, and evidently they have only one girlfriend at the same time. Except if they’re going away by their success. Then maybe they cheat their wife or husband or have several girls or guys at the same time.

- But you won’t be like them, right?

- I don’t think so. Such people like them make me sick. Especially after Emily died, and my girlfriend at that time almost broke with me ‘cause I agreed to Emily’s drunken offer that if I would kiss her, she would help to get a girlfriend for one of my cousins… - Larry said with a darkened look.

- Well, after that experience, it’s already really sure that you wouldn’t do even any similar thing if you were going away by success, either. While you couldn’t know that later, you would hate Emily because of that, and that she was in love with you, so she would commit suicide.

- When she was a kid, her mother died, and maybe she had been unstable since then. Just any big trouble hadn’t happened to her since then, and this was why it wasn’t seen, but I could have thought that.

- If she would have been unstable, she would have also broken down by trifles…

- One day, her father told us that she very much broke down even when she forgot a line of her part during an appearance.

- That one event doesn't mean anything.

- Anyway, I'm going now to talk to Francis - Larry stood up from the chair - Or I can go upstairs with you before it, to comfort you a little bit if you’re still feeling unwell.

- I began so much pitying you because of your terrible pangs of conscience that I feel at least as much unwell as before our conversation.

- And now I have a conscience about you wanting to talk with me about cheerful things, and I spoiled it. But I'll compensate for it upstairs - the boy said when they had set off.

They were kissing, embracing and fondling each other in Larry's room, and then the boy had to go to Francis' suite to talk to him while he still could find him there awake.

When he had knocked on the door, nobody answered the door for a long time so Larry thought a part of the family was so far away that they didn’t hear it, and the others were taking a shower at the same time, and that was why they couldn't hear it either.

The boy knocked again, maybe there was somebody nearby who could already hear it, and then the man answered the door; anybody else wasn’t even in the living room.

- Sorry I came this late. Have the others already gone to sleep? Or did all of them go somewhere at such a time? – Larry was surprised at it.

- Gian-Carlo went to have a party, and the others are sleeping at the house of one of their friends– Francis mumble-jumbled.

- Punctually tonight, too?

- Gian-Carlo’s celebrating his fourteenth birthday with his local friends, and the little ones were offended that he's not celebrating with them, so they can be sleeping at the house of one of their friends instead of that.

- What about Eleanor? – the boy asked with a surprised look.

The man sighed.

- We started a quarrel over something, and she’s sleeping at one of her friends’ house, too – Francis said brokenly, and sat down to the sofa – I think you realized why it took that long to answer the door when nobody else is at home and when I started a quarrel with my wife over something.

Larry became very nauseated.

- I wanted to conceal it but I didn’t succeed in doing it – the man continued ashamedly.

Larry sat down in one of the armchairs.

- You used to be like you were my father but now you make me sick – he said, staring into space – You’ve taught me so many things, and then you set an as disgusting example as possible – he said indignantly – But I’m not gonna follow your example; and from now, I don’t consider you as my father – he said, furiously looking at him after standing up from the armchair.

- Larry, I’m not that kind of man what you think – Francis got up, too, and looked at him with a sincere look – I’ve never cheated on anybody in my life but just this once, because I’ve wanted to take vengeance on Eleanor for what she does.

- I don’t care what you wanna take vengeance for but you could care about how offended the girl who you use will be at it when she gets to know that you only needed her for this, and maybe she already heard it!

- While it should interest you for what I wanna take vengeance on, ‘cause this is a business of all of us! – the man said emphatically – And doesn’t matter what you say, I’m gonna continue my revenge ‘cause that woman’s continually treating us indiscreetly!

- What are you talking about?! – the boy asked with a shocked look.

- My precious wife wants to make a documentary film of the shots she makes about the filming! – Francis raged – All our miserable struggle during the troubles are gonna be released that have happened to the filming, and our state of mind we have ’cause the filming’s been dragging on and on, are gonna be released!

- And when did you wanna speak to us about it?! – Larry raged on.

- I just got to know it today, too. Tomorrow I’m gonna tell the others too.

- Why don’t you stop her from releasing the shots?!

- Of course she hides them, and I don’t find them!

- OK, I’m leaving – the boy started towards the door, still suffering from nausea.

- Wait! – the man stopped him – Why did you come?

Larry turned around.

- You and your wife’s businesses make me sick! I don’t wanna talk to you now – he said furiously.

- Anyway, I still tell you that from tomorrow, we’re only gonna have any break in filming when either of you two feel unwell – the man said - It also could have come into my head earlier but it only came into my head that by it, Eleanor will have less occasions to also shoot us when we’re not working.

- That’s what I wanted to say, too, ‘cause we’ll finish filming earlier by it – the boy said bluntly, and left the suite.

He thought maybe Kristen had gone to sleep already so he didn’t go to her to ease his nausea. He went to swim to feel better by the cold water, and by the exercise, to work off his anger he felt for Francis and Eleanor.

After it, he went upstairs to his suite, took a shower, and he felt like he still hadn’t been able to sleep so was trying to distract his thoughts from his conversation with Francis by reading comics, and it worked a half an hour later.

Next morning, he went over to Kristen’s suite, and they were having breakfast, between the two of them.

- So from today, you guys are only gonna take a break when either of us feels unwell? – the girl asked.

- It came into Francis’ head punctually yesterday, too – the boy said sullenly.

- But I think it’s not what’s bothering you – Kristen said wonderingly about her partner’s mood – Did anything happen? – she continued, being afraid of it.

- Punctually during the dinner before I met with him, I said that those people who cheat somebody, made me sick. Till now, to me, Francis was like he was my father, he’s taught me so many things – the boy stared ahead – And then it came out that he cheats his wife – he continued with a furious look.

The girl stopped eating.

- I’ve never been this much disappointed in anybody – Larry said still furiously, and brokenly – While practically he takes vengeance on his wife for something on behalf of all of us. The reason why his wife shoots the whole filming since the first difficulties, is because she wanna make a documentary film about it, and till now, she succeeded in keeping it secret before all of us, even before him.

Kristen was sitting, shocked and reflecting, and began to speak rather many seconds later.

- She’s still surely not quite capable of shooting and adding that to the documentary film that we are kissing and I’m pregnant, is she? – she asked but she was scared to death according to her voice – That would be so humiliating if it was released!

- She was even quite capable of shooting our state of mind by our staying here drags on, and by our getting stuck with one movie and by seeing Francis’ even more powerful breaking down, and experiencing his rage, but maybe she’s still not that barefaced that she would also shoot our kissing, moreover, that she would add it to the documentary film. Moreover, these aren’t the reasons why we started to use drugs, and we kiss even on the set to compensate for the withdrawal symptoms caused by the detoxification, which is ‘cause we started to use drugs because of some different things. But my being refilled is also necessary on the set, to be able to continue filming, so maybe she also shot that, and is gonna release it in the documentary film ‘cause the withdrawal symptoms handicap the filming, too. But from tomorrow, we’re only gonna have the breaks when either of us feels unwell, so we can kiss on the set in the future too, ‘cause she won’t have any reasons to shoot it anymore – Larry finished in a comforting voice, taking the girl’s hands.

- If she’s already also shot it till now, that wouldn’t even count much if she shot it in the future too, but I still wouldn’t continue it before video camera with pleasure – Kristen said, recoiling by the shame – We should get to know if she’s shot even one of our kisses, and if so, we somehow should at least talk her out of adding that to the film! – she finished desperately.

- I’m curious to know that now that her secret came out, since she can think that Francis’ gonna tell it to us already before the filming, if she’ll have the cheek even to continue what she started, but if I find her, I'll talk to her. But I think some others will do it, too.

They had finished having breakfast, and set off for the set.

- They will surely kick a hoopla up if she’ll be there, too – the girl said on the way – I don’t think that she can bear to face them.

- You’re right. But I’ll look for her in Francis’ suite while she’s not on the set, or I’ll get it out of him where she is – her partner took her hand.

[absolutepokemontrash]

The Seven Demon Lords’ Pet Human

So I’m quite fond of the idea that the lesser demons see MC as the brothers’ dumb pet human up until MC is revealed to be a five star badass who can control the brothers on a whim. But Himiko isn’t okay with being referred to as anyone’s “pet”, and after a very bad day, she’s going to let the brothers know that.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Genre: Half Crack Half Fluff

Warning: This story features my MC, who uses she/her pronouns, if that makes you uncomfortable no harm no foul, see you next time

“Just their pet human,”

“Aw, they let their cute widdle pet walk around all by herself~.”

“The brothers’ new pet looks so delicious…”

Himiko Nanami was not one for demeaning nicknames. She had told Luke over and over again that the reason people kept calling him a chihuahua was because he gave them a reaction, but she just couldn’t follow her own advice. A pet… the brothers’ pet… what complete and utter shit.

She had forged pacts with the seven lords of Hell. She had escaped death more times than she could count. On her first day at RAD, she had gouged out a demon’s eye with her headband for trying to eat her. She had walked Cerberus and survived. Himiko was no dainty little pet.

It was a tragedy that some of the demons that wandered the halls of RAD couldn’t see that. Not all the demons were irredeemable anti-human trash, some were quite sweet. But it only took one weird squishy grape to make Himiko refuse to eat the rest of the bowl. That’s how that saying goes, right?

It was supposed to be a good day, it was a Friday for Christ’s sake! But no, the world at large was conspiring to make Himiko’s forehead vein burst.

First period with Satan went normally for the most part, until the two paired up for an assignment and Himiko decided to give Satan a few pats on the head. A few snickers coming from a few rows behind her drew her attention, and right after Satan left to use the bathroom, that’s when she heard it. The first comment of the day.

“Aww, a pet petting her master, how sweet.”

When Satan returned, Himiko was holding a broken pencil.

To her credit, she didn’t dignify those idiots with a response, but their comment managed to burrow its way into her brain and settle there right when she snapped the pencil.

Second period shouldn’t have been so shitty, Himiko had friends in that class. Friends other than the brothers and the other exchange students, but no. Everything sucks in the Devildom.

Paimon had so sweetly offered to share some of his chips with her when he heard she had skipped breakfast. Himiko was in the middle of happily chowing down when some asshole decided to ruin the cute friendship moment.

“Geez Pai, I thought you’d be more responsible than that~.” A demoness a few rows ahead cooed. “Feeding other people’s pets without asking~.”

Paimon choked on the chip he was chewing on while Himiko gave the demoness a bone chilling glare.

“Sh-she’s not- I’m not-”

“How about you mind your own fucking business?”

The demoness only rolled her eyes and turned back to giggling with her friends. It was truly a shame that at least 60% of all the demon ladies in the school were incredibly mean and/or homicidal, a shame for Himiko because she’s a raging bisexual.

With her appetite lost, Himiko forfeited the rest of the chips to Paimon.

Lunch went by as normal as it could have gone. She sat with the brothers as usual and happily watched their antics. When she left the table to throw her trash away was when all hell broke loose.

“-Pet,”

“-Pet…”

“-Pet.”

“-Pet!”

All those damned whispers reached Himiko’s ears and if she had any less patience she would have pulled her hair out and screamed. When she got back to the table, she spent the rest of her lunch period in silence.

What’s worse was that her next class was with Solomon, and the only seat available was next to him. Great…

“Grouchy today, ms. Nanami?”

“Annoying today, mr. Wizard?”

Solomon let out a quiet and carefree laugh and rested his head on his hand. “Oh Himiko, you know I’m always up for being a little annoying.”

Himiko rolled her eyes and tried to pay attention to the teacher. “Whatever…”

Class went on, but Solomon didn’t let up on his quiet pestering.

“Himiiiiii, tell me what’s wrong, I won’t laugh.”

“Go to hell.”

“Poor choice of words, you’re there with me.”

“I hate you.”

“So mean, I’m just trying to help. Solomon the Wise is known for giving great advice!”

Himiko turned and looked at the immortal sorcerer next to her and saw his pitiful attempt at what looked like puppy dog eyes. She rolled her eyes again and turned back to her work.

“I thought you were known for ordering a baby to be sawed in half.”

“Hey!” Solomon huffed, crossing his arms. “The baby did not get sawed in half. The saner of the two women got to keep the baby, I was being smart.”

“Sure, sure.” Himiko couldn’t hold back a bit of a smile. To her own surprise, Himiko began to weigh the pros and cons of actually telling Solomon what was going on. Hm, on one hand, Solomon was the only other human that might possibly understand what Himiko was dealing with, on the other hand, Solomon was a known shifty bastard and could barely be counted as human at this point. In the end, human solidarity won out.

“Solomon,” Himiko began. “Have you ever gotten called a pet before? Like a demon’s pet..?”

Solomon thought for a moment, then shrugged. “Probably. I’ve been alive too long not to have been called every name under the sometimes lack of sun, but I’ve always been more widely known as someone who makes demons into his pets.”

“Mmm, sure.”

“But fret not Himiko, those closest to you know the truth. You’re no pet.”

Not exactly the heaps of comfort Himiko wanted, but at least Solomon answered truthfully and didn’t say anything that would get on her nerves-

“I don’t know why you’re so upset about that nickname though, you’d look amazing in a collar.”

For what happened to poor Solomon right after he said that, let’s just say a palm reader could read Himiko’s future off Solomon’s face.

In fourth period, Himiko had to hold herself back from bitchslapping someone else who decided it would be a good idea to test her. A quick word of advice to anyone in the Devildom who would like to survive an encounter with Himiko, never, ever, fuck with her headband.

“You fiendish demon!” Luke yapped, trying to help get Himiko’s headband back from the nasty awful no good demon who decided to pluck it off her head and hold it out of reach. “Give that back!”

“N’awwwwww, pet buddies!” The taller demon laughed and dangled the headband a little closer. “So cute! Someone get a picture for Devilgram-”

Luke slammed his foot directly into the demon’s kneecap. The demon practically shrieked and doubled over only to be met with Himiko’s knee in his gut. She daintily plucked the headband from his grasp and quickly pulled Luke out of the room.

“Are you okay?” The moment the two were far enough down the hall, Luke began to fuss over Himiko like a tiny nurse. “You didn’t get hurt, did you?”

“No buddy, I’m fine.” Himiko held out her hand for a high five. “Up high,”

Whack!

“Down low,”

Woosh!

“Too slow.”

“Hey!” Luke whined. “No faaaaaiiiiir!”

———————

No one wants their human to be grumpy, especially not the brothers, so when Himiko spent the rest of the time until dinner holed up in her room, they were a tad concerned.

“My human’s all saaaaaaaaad,” Mammon rested his chin on the table and whined. The rest of the brothers sans Asmo were sitting at the table awaiting dinner. “Himiko said she didn’t wanna play the Game of Life, and it’s like, the one game she’s good at…”

“Yeah, she’s been pissy all day.” Belphie added before quietly yawning. “What’d you do, Mammon?”

“Me?!” Mammon sputtered, practically scrambling out of his seat and pointing an accusatory finger at his brothers. “I didn’t do shit! What about you idiots?!”

“Well, let’s look at what we know,” Satan said, waving off Mammon. “During first period we partnered up for a project, I left to use the restroom, then when I came back she looked upset. During lunch when she left, she came back and didn’t speak the rest of the lunch period. Any theories?”

Beel raised his hand, and Satan nodded to him. “Himiko has terrible separation anxiety now, she can’t go too long without us.”

Satan gave Beel a few nods, then turned to the others. “That’s one guess. Anyone else?”

Mammon raised his hand, and Satan promptly ignored him.

“Oi! Pay attention to me!” Mammon stuck his hand in the air and waved harder. “She’s angry because she’s failin’ a class! Every time we’re not distractin’ her, she remembers!”

“I would have heard if she was failing a class.” Lucifer finally piped up from the head of the table, his face was buried in RAD’s newspaper. “You on the other hand, Mammon, are failing three of your four classes this semester.”

Mammon slid back into his seat and scratched the back of his neck. “About thaaaaaat, I need money for uh… for new books n’ pencils n’ shit. That’s why I’m failin’, you’ll lend me money, won’t ya big bro?”

Lucifer didn’t get to respond as Asmo burst into the door of the dining room with a pot of pasta that was almost half his height. “DINNER IS SERVED~!”

As everyone settled in to eat, Himiko finally made her appearance and plopped herself down in her usual seat next to Mammon and helped herself to the pasta with rosé sauce.

“It’s good! It’s good right?” Asmo peppered the group with questions about the food and how good he did. Himiko had to admit, this was damn good pasta. Smooth, creamy, cheesy, all that was missing was garlic bread. In a matter of minutes Himiko had cleared her first bowl and was going in for seconds.

“So Himiko,” Satan said as Himiko continued to shovel pasta into her face at a pace that could rival Beel. “We’ve noticed you’ve been looking a little upset today, care to satiate our curiosity?”

Himiko paused mid bite, which wasn’t doing wonders for her appearance considering she had sauce on the tip of her nose. But still, how sweet of her boys to notice, it made her cold dead little heart swell with love.

“Oh you know, just idiots at school not worth my attention.”

“What have they been saying?” Asmo asked, his voice unusually stiff.

“They’ve been calling me you guys’ pet.” Himiko grumbled. “How ridiculous is that?”

The clattering of forks and the chewing of food halted as the boys went completely silent. Himiko shifted uncomfortably in her chair as she looked around. Had what those demons said been a greater insult to the boys than she-

“Pfff- HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Mammon erupted into laughter and the rest of the brothers followed suit.

“G-Geez,” Belphie snickered, feigning wiping a tear from his eye. “Humans are so sensitive.”

“Excuse me?!” Himiko gripped her fork so hard she was sure it would leave indents.

“I mean, don’t take this the wrong way, Himi,” Levi said between bouts of cackling. “But you are a teeny tiny little normie human surrounded by well… us.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?! That I should just roll over and take it!?” Himiko immediately turned and pointed at Belphie. “Don’t you dare.”

Belphie’s mouth was open to make a comment about Himiko’s poor choice of words, but the pact activated and any words died in his throat. Belphie flipped her off and Himiko returned the gesture.

“Himiko,” Beel was sweet enough to not laugh at Himiko’s predicament. “It’s not that big of a deal. Besides, people love their pets.”

As sweet as Beel thought his words were being, Himiko really wanted to send him to bed without dinner.

“Yes, yes, Beel’s right.” Satan took a deep breath and collected himself after his laughing fit had finally ceased. “It’s nothing to worry about, Himiko. It shouldn’t be bothering you. Just don’t listen.”

Himiko somehow gripped her fork even tighter as she levelled her ice cold glare at Satan. “Thank you so much for demonsplaining how I should deal with and feel about the very human problem of people seeing me as some toy.”

The venom in her words seemed to snap the rest of the table out of their giggly stupor, and Mammon gave Himiko a few pats on the back.

“Ah don’t worry about it, Himiko. I’ll fight any bastard who says anythin’ like that.” Suddenly realizing he hadn’t been a tsundere for five whole minutes, Mammon went red and snatched his hand away. “Ya know, just because you’d probably use the pact and order me to anyway…”

“I’m not a dere~” Levi began to softly sing, Himiko perked up and grabbed Mammon’s cheek.

“A tsun-tsundere~”

“Not that song again!”

That should have been the end of that whole debacle. Himiko’s decent mood had been restored and all was well! The gang chatted amicably for the rest of dinner. Himiko made sure to heap loads of praise on Asmo for his amazing pasta. She felt a part of her die when she went in for fourths and the spoon scraped the bottom of the pot.

Too bad nothing ever goes smoothly in the Devildom.

Since it was Asmo’s night to cook, it was Himiko’s night to do dishes, so she got up and began to clear the table. As she began to collect the unused knives, Lucifer, not looking up from his newspaper, handed Himiko his plate.

“Thank you, pet, that’ll be all.”

Himiko stopped dead in her tracks and her grip on the plate tightened. “Repeat that, Lucifer?”

“Thank you, pet, that’ll be all.”

A tiny smirk spread across Lucifer’s face, which only served to make Himiko’s blood boil. If he thought he could make a joke about that while she was still mad he had another thing coming.

As quick as a flash, she had whipped the plate straight at the ground, shattering it into dozens of tiny pieces, before Lucifer even had a chance to say anything, Himiko was standing in front of him with a frigid glare on her face.

“Lucifer, put your hand flat on the table and spread your fingers. Keep quiet.”

With no choice but to obey, Lucifer slapped his hand down on the dining table, though, the glare he was giving her wasn’t any less murderous. Not caring, Himiko’s gaze remained cold and calculating, she turned to the other brothers, who were rooted in place from sheer shock. “Stay.”

“I’d just like to get something out there to you seven,” Himiko said calmly, holding one of the knives in her right hand and waving it around like it was the most casual thing in the universe. “I, am no one’s pet,”

Himiko turned and slammed the knife right between Lucifer’s middle and index fingers, imbedding it deep in the table.

“Arm candy,”

The second knife was slammed right in between Lucifer’s middle and pointer finger.

“Or accessory.”

The final knife went between his index and pinkie finger. Himiko’s next words were slow and deliberate as she stared the strongest of the brothers directly in the eyes.

“I am your friend, and equal, I won’t accept being anything less, whether it’s a joke, or not. You agreed to those terms the day we made our pact, didn’t we Lucifer? Have you changed your mind?”

It was so quiet you could hear Henry 2.0 swimming around in Levi’s room upstairs. No one dared to breathe as the seconds ticked past.

Finally, Lucifer responded, his voice tinged with exasperation. “No Himiko, I haven’t.”

“Good,” A small triumphant smile appeared on Himiko’s face as she removed the knives from the table and finished up cleaning the table. “That goes for the rest of you boys too, got it?”

“Y-yeah…”

“Mhm.”

“Yes…”

As Himiko walked into the kitchen to do everyone’s dishes, they quietly reminded themselves exactly who they were dealing with. Himiko Nanami was no dainty little human, no no no, she was the one master to rule them all, and by god was she going to make sure no one ever forgot.

——————

AAAAAAAA THIS WAS SO FUN TO WRITE!!!! I really need to write more stuff with Himiko! Inspiration struck at like… 10 this morning and I just ran with it.

Now on one hand, I can see that people might think that Himiko overreacted to Lucifer’s little joke a tad. Buuuuuuuuuuut she’s gotta shut down that shit early, right? She doesn’t want “pet” to be the next “chihuahua”.

Lucifer’s probably trying to stick his nose back in his newspaper as he wonders whether he’s incredibly enraged or unbelievably turned on.

Hope you all enjoyed! Now back to the regularly scheduled shitposting.

[trashytummiez]

Story prompt: Izuku and Ochako are sharing a meal, but since they're both dorks, it gets rather awkward, so they try to distract themselves from the embarrassment by eating more food. This only serves to make them bloated and gassy, which makes the awkwardness worse, thus sparking a vicious cycle.

This one ended up being huuuuuuuge :o

Warning: contains arousal belly kink bloating burps burp kink tummy rubs

Since he first joined UA Izuku was always really close to Ochako. The two of them were of best friends ever since that first practical hero exam they took with all those robots. As their journey continued the two only became closer and closer. Both had made lots of friends within the school and had their own lives but they never lost touch with each other as their academic and heroic adventures progressed.

So when Ochako invited Izuku over to her dorm to cook together Izuku was thrilled to do so. They'd spent tons of time already cooking together at summer camp before the league invaded and ruined everything so this was like putting on an old glove for them. One that slipped on just as easily as when they first started.

Of course because the two of them were so lost in talking with each other and just hanging out as they cooked they ended up making a lot more food than they originally expected they would.

Well, at least they'd have plenty of leftovers right?

They both eventually sat at the table and put everything they cooked together at the center. Obviously there was way more food than either one intended to eat but at least they could just pick at whatever they wanted if whatever was on their plates wasn't enough.

The two teenagers quickly started eating and straight away their faces lit up at how good everything tasted.

“Mmmm wow this is delicious Ochako!” Izuku praised and took in another pretty big mouthful. After swallowing it down with a pretty hearty gulp Izuku smiled back at Ochako. “You're a really great cook!”

Ochako blushed and took a bite herself unable to gush at the flavor. She gulped and waved her hand modestly. “Oh I just followed the recipe. It was a lot easier than usual with how fast you prepped all the ingredients. I guess with all those muscles chopping meat and veggies is a lot easier huh.”

It was Izuku's turn to blush when he heard that which made him turn to his food. He instinctively ate more to mask his blush. Ochako couldn't help but notice the way Izuku ate. For such a gentle boy Izuku had one of the biggest appetites in the entire school. He could often eat more than most of his most gluttonous classmates. And as he ate here Ochako noticed that he was taking really big mouthfuls and gulping them so heavily that she could practically hear his throat squelching from across the table. Her eyes couldn't help but follow the sizable lumps that emerged and pushed down his throat before disappearing behind his chest.

For some reason that sight made Ochako blush a little more. So she in turn ate more as if to distract herself. Though even then Ochako noticed that Izuky had just the cutest smile on his face when he ate. It was absolutely adorable. There really was such an endearingly boyish quality to Izuku. An innocence and adorability no other student at the school had. Though why she was thinking about that now she didnt know. Which might explain why she once again started eating more to take her mind off of her wandering thoughts.

Izuku finished in record time. He leaned back and sighed contently. “Ahh that was so good,” he said rubbing his stomach contently.

Surprisingly Ochako finished shortly after he did. She huffed very softly and smiled back at Izuku. “You said it Deku! This tasted better than usual for some reason!” She said and patted her tummy happily with both hands. Suddenly she hiccuped making her blush and very quickly cover her mouth. “Oops! Heh excuse me. Think I ate a little faster than usual there.”

“I noticed,” Izuku said with a blush of his own. “Maybe you were hungrier than you thought?”

“M-Maybe,” Ochako conceded. Then she turned to the food still at the table and smiled innocently. “Well good thing there's still so much more right?” She quickly loaded her plate with more food to distract herself.

“G-Good point. No reason we can't enjoy a little more when everything's still fresh,” Izuku said and joined Ochako in reloading his plate.

There was noticeably more on both of their plates than the first go especially Izuku's. The two teens quickly started eating more and seemed to relax a little when they did so. Everything just tasted that good.

Once again when she ate Ochako couldn't take her eyes off of Izuku. He wasn't ravenous like so many other boys in school when he ate. But something about watching him eat so much gave her a funny feeling. She couldn't peg what it was though. The hums he gave were so cute as was his smile. But the way she could see each gulp send a lump protruding down his throat and get capped with a very soft and subtle huff from the boy only stirred Ochako in a way she couldn't describe. But it certainly made her blush which only led to her eating even more to distract herself.

Something else caught Ochako's eye.

Izuku was eating so much that after a while his normally flat and muscular stomach looked like it was beginning to stick out. It wasn't entirely noticeable but his t-shirt was definitely looking noticeably more snug around the middle than it usually did. Why was that detail making her cheeks so warm?

Izuku's thoughts weren't much better. He couldn't not notice Ochako as she ate or how fast she was eating. It was surprising that a girl like her could eat so much and so quickly. And something about that fact caused a stir in Izuku's tummy. Almost like butterflies. Especially when he noticed her own flat tummy beginning to poke out from how much she was eating at so fast a pace.

Why did that detail catch his attention so much?

To take his mind off of that Izuku plowed through his second plate and eventually polished it off. Izuku huffed to himself and rubbed his belly. He still looked satisfied but also had a hint of weariness when he rubbed. Something about seeing Izuku massaging his tummy stirred Ochako even further prompting her to eat faster. Izuku appeared strained for a moment which made his rubbing stop. Instead his fingers tightened against his stomach and he held a fist up to his mouth in time to give a deep closed mouth burp. Even muffled the rumbling sound was pretty loud.

Izuku blushed and smiled sheepishly at Ochako. “...E-Excuse me.”

Ochako giggled and said “You're excused” playfully. But even her giggle didn't hide the fact that the sound had her blushing even more. What was wrong with her?

To Ochako's surprise Izuku quickly loaded his plate with even more food.

“Wow Deku you really are hungry aren't you,” she said.

“M-Maybe a little,” Izuku lied.

Ochako finished her own plate and followed suit. Both teens quickly distracted themselves with more food. Something about eating together without Iida there felt foreign to them. Not unwelcome but oddly anxiety inducing. It was hard to really describe because they both loved each others company and cared deeply for one another. Yet being alone and dining together felt...strange to them. Especially the act itself of just seeing each other eat. Was there something the two had in common and didn't realize until now?

By the time they finished their third plates both were noticeably more full than the first and second go. “Whew. Oh wow. This stuff is almost too good not to keep eating,” Izuku praised as he leaned back and rubbed his belly. It was definitely more noticeably bloated than it was before.

Ochako huffed in a slightly more exhausted way when she leaned back in her chair and held her bulging tummy in both hands. “Ohh man you're not kidding Deku. I'm so full,” Ochako said. And clearly she was even fuller than she realized because without warning Ochako burped loudly. Her face turned as red as Red Riot's dyed hair when she clamped her mouth shut with both hands and went completely wide-eyed. “Oh g-gosh excuse me! I'm so sorry!” She sputtered with embarrassment.

Izuku looked genuinely surprised to hear Ochako of all people give such an impressive burp. But he nonetheless giggled with genuine amusement and said, “Don't be sorry that was a good one!”

“Yeah but that was so unladylike and gross!” Ochako whined in a humiliated way.

“It's only natural. We both ate a lot and ate it real fast. Of course you're gonna have a lot of air in your tummy,” Izuku explained blushing a bit at saying the word 'tummy' out loud which even Ochako smiled somewhat at hearing despite her embarrassment.

Just to prove his point Izuku leaned back in his chair and patted his belly which caused a loud echoing burp to roll out of Izuku's mouth. He normally held them in which was why his closed mouth burps always rumbled so hard . But when he let them out freely they were some of the loudest a person could give.

Ochako was naturally taken back since Izuku was so well mannered. But not only did seeing him let loose so loudly dispel her embarrassment it also had her cheeks blushing for a different reason.

Izuku blushed after. Clearly even he wasn't used to letting out an eruption like that but he nonetheless giggled and smiled back at Ochako. “See?”

She couldn't help but smile gratefully at him for doing that just to make Ochako feel less embarrassed. “Thanks Deku.”

He simply beamed preciously back at her. Then a thought occurred to him. “Can I ask you something Ochako? Don't you usually go off campus with Tsu and Mina most weekend nights to eat out together?”

“Yeah but we've both been so busy these days I thought it might be nice if we could catch up. Just the two of us,” Ochako replied.

Izuku smiled softly. “I'm really glad you did. I always love getting to spend time with you.”

Ochako smiled right back in a very fond and familiar sort of way. “Me too Deku.”

Then Izuku said the quiet part out loud when he scratched the back of his mop of hair and innocently said, “You know from an outside perspective this would almost look like a date!”

The silence between them was deafening.

But the freakout was hilarious.

“A w-w-w-WHAT?!?!” Ochako sputtered with eyes like baseballs.

“AHHH! I-I DIDN'T MEAN LikE-O-OF COURSE THIS ISN'T A DATE!!!” Izuku flailed hysterically while laughing nervously. “JUST TWO FRIENDS HAVING DINNER RIGHT?!”

“R-RIGHT! N-NOTHING ROMANTIC ABOUT THAT!!” Ochako insisted while laughing just as nervously and loudly as Izuku was.

“OF COURSE NOT! FRIENDS DO THAT ALL THE TIME DON'T THEY?”

“ALL THE TIME! JUST-A-ALL THE TIME! EVERY TIME!!!”

“EXACTLY!!”

“RIGHT!!! AND FRIENDS GET FUNNY FEELINGS WATCHING THEIR FRIENDS EAT ALL THE TIME TOO-” Ochako froze in place when she realized she said that part out loud.

Izuku was frozen in place mid-freakout. And in a hilariously deadpanned way he asked, “...What was that last part?”

Ochako's face looked like it was steaming. She sputtered in her inability to think of anything to say. So instead she turned to the food still at the table. “Y-You know I think I'm just really hungry! I'm just gonna go ahead and help myself!”

“G-Good call!” Izuku concurred and loaded his own plate with as much food as it could fit just as Ochako did. “It's still fresh after all! Tastes best going down when it's fresh right?”

“E-Exactly!” Ochako agreed and both immediately stuffed their faces with as much food as they could cram down their gullets at once. Absolutely anything they could do to shut themselves up before admitting anything else out loud.

It didn't matter how full either one was they just kept on eating and eating. Anything to get over the immense embarrassment both felt at admitting anything like romantic feelings towards one another. Such talk was absolute crazy talk after all. It had to be. At least that's what both teens convinced themselves in between swallowing one giant mouthful of food after another.

And the whole while they continued stuffing themselves their tummies continued to expand with the sudden rush of food going down their throats all at once. Both of their stomachs only continued to press and round out more and more with every few hearty gulps both took. Ochako's tummy was getting so big that her bare flesh was beginning to peak out from underneath her shirt. Izuku's tummy was even bigger revealing more of his pale stomach beneath his t-shirt and almost starting to ride up around his belly button. Their embarrassment was thus that they couldn't help just shoveling more and more food down their gullets without any train of thought to it beyond the same thought of “why did I say that?!” playing on loop in their heads respectively.

If these two were at a national eating contest they would win in a heartbeat at the rate they were eating.

The good news was that they had eventually gotten over their embarrassment in the midst of their flustered feeding frenzy. Unfortunately that only happened when the two of them had finished every bit of food they had prepped which left them both incredibly bloated and overstuffed beyond reason.

"Unnnngh...I can't believe we ate so much..." Ochako moaned scooting her chair back and rubbing her incredibly bloated tummy all over with both hands. She looked like she swallowed a beach ball with how round her belly had become in her embarrassment fueled binge.

Her big tummy gave a big grumble which caused an even bigger gas bubble to rush up her throat. Her cheeks puffed as she covered her mouth to try and hold it in but the force of it was so strong that she blew her hand back with a huge absolutely unladylike burp.

HHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUURRRRAAAAAAAAHHHPPP!!!!!!

She blushed immensely and covered her mouth after that powerful eruption ripped past her lush lips.

"...Ex-cuuuUUUuu-se...m-me-eurp-oh god..." Ochako's embarrassment was made even worse when she tried to excuse herself but accidentally burped in the middle of it.

Fortunately her embarrassment was short lived. The immensely overstuffed Izuku held his huge pregnant looking belly with both hands and let loose a giant burp that somehow dwarfed Ochako's in length and volume and practically echoed throughout her whole living quarters.

BBBRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUURRRRRHHHRRREEEEEEEEEEEEUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOORRRRLPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ochako could seriously feel that record breaking eructation Izuku let loose rattle in her own bones. To say nothing of the blood it sent rushing both to her increasingly red face and her loins.

Izuku panted breathlessly. His huge belly rose and fell with his strained breathing after having so much air ripped out of him all at once like that. He tried to speak but grew strained. Instead he patted the side of his round bare belly hard and gave another burp. It wasn't as deafening as that monster he just let out but it still extended for a few seconds straight.

After Izuku leaned back in his chair and sighed while he ran his hands across his vast pale tummy. "Ohhhh man I'm ssssooo full..." Izuku moaned then brought a fist up to his mouth to give a deep closed mouth after burp.

He was so gassy and Ochako was loving it even if she wasn't faring any better.

The two teenagers struggled under the weight of their own tummies. But they fortunately managed to push themselves up and get themselves sitting down on Ochako's couch together. They sat down next to each other and their immensely stuffed tummies churned and grumbled noisily like washing machines.

Both them looked completely spent. They both groaned and massaged their overstuffed tummies which were gurgling heavier than they'd ever gurgled before.

"Ungh my tummy is killing me..." Ochako whined while she nursed her aching belly smoothly with her hands running up and down her tight bloated flesh. "...Why did we eat so much...?"

Izuku kneaded his much larger tummy until he gave another long throaty burp. Ochako blushed heavily at how she could feel it vibrate through the couch.

"...Wow you sure are burping a lot Deku," Ochako noted in a quieted tone of voice. Like she was doing her best to hide how much it was turning her on.

"Sorry I know it's gross but-"

"-I-I don't mind you can keep doing it!" Ochako blurted and blushed even more. She hoped she didn't sound too desperate when she said that.

Izuku scratched the back of his head whilst still massaging his churning tummy with one hand. "Well I was gonna say it's helping to ease some of the pressure in my tummy. You should let a few out too. It might make your own tummy hurt less."

To illustrate his point Izuku thumped his chest and gave another heavy burp that left him moaning after at how good it felt. Ochako watched Izuku knead and push down on his large round tummy really kneading his fingers into his flesh. And every time he did a really hearty burp would roll out of his throat so forcefully at times he'd even drool a little.

He normally would've been embarrassed about burping so much and so loudly around others especially Ochako. But he'd eaten so much that it was the only way he could settle his stomach down without getting sick.

Little did he realize how much Ochako was enjoying the show.

Ochako's blush wasn't going away anytime soon. She could've just sat there watching Izuku burp well into the night but she was still suffering a pretty bad tummyache herself. So she at least tried to take Izuku's advice to heart. Ochako kneaded her tummy trying to apply pressure that would force more gas out. After doing some kneading she was rewarded with a thick burp that tore out of her mouth.

HHUUUAAAAARRRRRRUUUUUHP!!!!!

It was pretty strong and left her huffing but didn't bring her the relief she was hoping it would. Especially when her tummy gave an even thicker grumble that made her cringe uncomfortably.

"There you go. Feel any better?" Izuku asked.

Ochako pushed down on her tummy again and managed to squeeze another burp out but it was a lot lighter and more strained.

"Ungh I think they're stuck..."

Izuku bit his lips and blushed himself. "...Can I...give you a hand...?" He suggested holding up his hand and gesturing to Ochako's belly.

His face was as red as hers in that moment. But Ochako quietly nodded and leaned back against the couch which made her big round tummy stick out more.

Izuku bit his lower lip and very hesitantly placed his hands on Ochako's belly. He almost whimpered at the way Ochako's bare skin felt beneath his fingers. Her flesh was smooth and soft yet as tight as his from how bloated they both were. He'd always fantasized rubbing ochako's tummy before but never imagined he'd get the chance to actually do so.

He was legitimately overwhelmed.

But once his nerves settled Izuku proceeded to rub Ochako's troubled tummy in smooth circles. Her stomach felt so warm from her natural warmth and the massive amount of fresh food she managed to eat all in one go like that. There was a light wobble to her tummy that caused everything inside of Ochako to slosh lightly with Izuku's hand movements.

Though Ochako's face was red at having Izuku touch her, she groaned at how good that touch felt against her utterly bloated stomach. That only made Izuku blush even more but he continued to rub. Izuku practically lost himself in the feeling of Ochako's tummy. He rubbed his hands across her tummy from the softer thicker bottom all the way to the rounded top of her stomach. The boy almost had to resist the urge to rest his ear against her belly and listen to it gurgling away.

While he rubbed he felt tense portions of skin where gas was brewing and pressed down on Ochako's belly carefully but firmly enough to dislodge the gas. His push was stronger than Ochako's meaning he got a larger portion of gas out. The result of which was a loud really deep burp that sounded like it came from the very depths of Ochako's stomach.

BWROOOUUUUUUUURRRAAAAHP!!!!!!!!

Ochako gasped heavily and covered her mouth out of instinct.

Izuku giggled softly and blushed himself. "Heh hey don't be sorry. A lot of the guys would probably be jealous if they could hear that. But did that at least help?"

"Yeah actually, it kind of relieved some of that tight painful pressure in my tummy," Ochako admitted.

Izuku couldn't help but smile at not being the only one who used the word 'tummy' in the room. "Should I keep going then?"

Ochako hummed and nodded a little more comfortably eager for Izuku's touch.

He continued rubbing her belly all over and using his fingers to push into her flesh. Izuku occasionally just got lost in marveling at Ochako's beautiful belly. The little freckles across her lower tummy and that unbelievably perfect looking belly button. He couldn't help placing his palm just over her navel and blushed furiously when he felt it up. Though when he applied pressure to it Ochako lurched with a sizable gas bubble working its way up her throat.

She instinctively covered her mouth and went wide eyed unsure if she was about to throw up at first.

Instead her hand was blown back as Ochako gave a massive burp that caused some drips of spittle to fly out of her delicate mouth.

HUUUUUUUUUAAAARRRRRRRUUUUUURRRAAAAAAAAHHHP!!!!!!!

As soon as that considerable gas pocket rushed out of Ochako another huge throaty burp followed almost instantly and jostled her tummy slightly in Izuku's trembling hands.

BBBRRRREEEEEEEEUUUUUUUURRRROOOOOOOORRRRAAAAAAAUUUP!!!!!!!

Izuku was kind of stunned. He'd never heard a girl burp so loudly or so frequently in his life, not even Mina. And the absolute last person he expected to hear such sounds from was Ochako.

It was incredibly surprising...and surprisingly hot at the same time. Especially the way her tummy felt like it was jiggling in his hands as the burps rolled out of her.

He smiled and gave the side of her tummy a few pats. "There you go just get it all out," he said.

And Ochako certainly didn't have any problem with that. The more Izuku kneaded her belly the more Ochako found herself burping frequently and quite loudly. There had to be a lot of pressure in her tummy to see her burping so much and so hard.

After a really long eruption rolled out of the girl she slumped back against the couch panting breathlessly. The relief she felt was incredible.

"Ungh...ohhh...w-ooOOOOOoooowwW!!!" Ochako blushed even more despite her decidedly crass onslaught of expulsions just a moment ago. She thought she got it all out but ended up burping the word 'wow' out unexpectedly.

But Izuku saw her embarrassment and grinned. He kneaded his own tummy and gave it a firm pat to burp his response right back.

GooOOod...

...ooOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNEEEE!!!!!!

UUUUURRRRrrrhpp!!!!

Ochako looked surprised to hear sweet Izuku burp talk the response "good one" back at her before just letting out a deep burp at the end. She managed a strained giggle but was blushing furiously.

"I did that on accident...you can burp-talk on command like that?" Ochako asked looking visibly flustered which Izuku didn't seem to catch onto.

"Heh yep! Trick I picked up on as a kid but I don't do it much these days since it's pretty childish."

Between the relief Izuku provided having his hands all over her tummy and her burping her brains out moments ago Ochako's thirst crept up and got the best of her.

"...Well it is just us...besides," Ochako reached over and sneaked herself a feel of Izuku's belly by giving it a playful pat making the much larger tummy ripple a little as everything inside sloshed around and gurgled. "It sounds to me like your tummy could use a little relief too."

Izuku hiccuped from the patting and then Ochako began to gently rub Izuku's much larger belly in a more sensual way. Her touch made him shiver. But it also made his tummy gurgle richly. He grunted and rubbed his chest tenderly.

"Nrf good point. Do you want me to say anything?"

She knew almost right away what she wanted to hear and nudged that large swollen tummy of his insistently when she answered. "...Could you try...burping my name?"

Her thirst was so palpable at that point that even sweet and oblivious Izuku finally picked up on what she was asking and why. There was a slight flicker in his big adorable eyes. Izuku grinned and took in some air until he couldn't take anymore in. Then he leaned in a little closer and gave Ochako exactly what she wanted.

OoooooooooooooOOooooooooo-

chAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaak...

...ooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRrrmmmph!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Izuku burped out Ochako's name straining in the middle until he massively burped out the last syllable in her name stretching it out for as long as he could until he intentionally closed his mouth at the end and let it turn into a big closed mouth burp that Ochako could hear rumbling right in her ear until it ended.

To say that Ochako's arousal reached a fever high would be the ultimate understatement.

Izuku subtly blew the gas out from the side of his mouth and gave his blushing friend a smile that was a cross between sultry and cheeky.

"We should do this again sometime," Izuku said and gently ran his hand over Ochako's burbling tummy.

Ochako leaned in and caught Izuku by surprise by planting her lips onto his. Clearly she couldn't agree fast enough.

[zintranslations]

Kaleidoscope of Death, Ch. 123

Kaleidoscope of Death by Xi Zixu Link to Chinese / Novel Updates

Chapter 123: The Second Sacrifice

What happened the night before, nobody knew—except for Jian Qianyuan and that unfortunate dead partner of hers.

Lin Qiushi remembered that yesterday, Jian Qianyuan had also been one of the people eschewing the unpleasant taste of lunch. But sat before the same nauseating and flavored dead-fish lunch today, her odd behavior gave Lin Qiushi an unfortunate supposition. Could Jian Qianyuan have been affected by that monster as well…

Jian Qianyuan didn't care at all what the others thought. Once she finished eating, she left the dining room with a satisfied pat of her slightly distended belly. On her way out she seemed to have noticed the shocked looks everyone was sending her, and answered with a cold smile.

"The taste is actually pretty good. If you like, you should all go give it a try," she mumbled to herself.

Nobody answered her, and she shrugged in disinterest before leaving.

Lin Qiushi watched her enter a room. And when the rooms changed, Jian Qianyuan disappeared before the crowd.

The locations of the rooms kept changing; every few minutes, a new room appeared in front of the deck.

Some were lucky—people found their stuff inside the rooms and brought them out. Others not so much, never managing to find their original rooms.

Lin Qiushi, on the other hand, made a new discovery. While they were perusing the hallways, they were fortunate enough to see once more that locked room they'd discovered the day before. Only, something had changed about it. The door to that room now stood wide open, and the chain that had locked it from the inside was scattered in broken pieces all over the ground. It seemed to have been violently broken off.

"I remember this room," Lin Qiushi said. "Room 201." He looked at the door plate, thinking of the room number they'd seen yesterday. "Is there anything inside it now?"

Ruan Nanzhu stood in the doorway staring into the dark interior.

"You don't hear anything inside?" he asked.

"No," Lin Qiushi shook his head after listening for a while. He was sure he could hear nothing moving about.

"Then that thing probably left." Ruan Nanzhu approached and took a step inside, casually turning on a kerosene lamp on the table beside him.

The dim light illuminated what wasn't a terribly large room, and they got a good look at what was inside.

The room was both normal and abnormal. Normal was its furnishings, which were identical to where Lin Qiushi's group slept. Abnormal was the additional things inside the room: a bunch of fish scales.

These scales were scattered throughout the entire room, filling the space with a disgusting fishy stench. Lin Qiushi also noticed that on the floors, there was a sort of liquid—like water, but a bit more viscous—smeared all over. It was discomforting to look at.

And on the walls and furniture all around them, there were marks made by sharp claws, telling them that this indeed was the room that once held that monster prisoner.

Lin Qiushi inspected these claw marks and found them extremely deep; if those claws could do this much to hardwood flooring, then it was easy to surmise that a fragile human body for them wouldn't stand a single blow.

Gu Longming was gagging out of disgust, but Ruan Nanzhu took a napkin from his shirt and collected a few of the scales.

Though at present, they didn't know what the fish scales were for, it was better to be prepared just in case.

Lin Qiushi searched the rest of the room for other clues. Quickly, he found a man's shoe in the corner. It made Lin Qiushi think of the man who'd been eaten yesterday. Did the monster drag its prey back to its room?

As Lin Qiushi was contemplating this, Gu Longming said: "Time's almost up." The moment they came in, he'd started counting down, and there were still around ten seconds before five minutes were up.

"Let's get out of here," Ruan Nanzhu said. "This place doesn't seem to be of any more use."

Lin Qiushi agreed.

Not long after the three left that room, its location changed into another room. Lin Qiushi's expression was a bit downcast.

Ruan Nanzhu asked what was on his mind.

Lin Qiushi: "I think things might be worse than we thought."

"What do you mean?" Gu Longming asked in doubt.

"Is the monster's position truly fixed?" Lin Qiushi asked. "Or can it move around?"

Before he'd seen that room, he thought the monster's position was fixed. But upon seeing that ruined chain, he'd formulated an unfortunate hypothesis: the monster could move, and it could move throughout the entire labyrinth. Though, like the humans, it could not find the exit, all the people lost in the maze were just like food to it.

"Your guess is likely correct." Ruan Nanzhu glanced at his watch. "There are still thirteen people. That's enough to feed him for ten days."

Gu Longming forced out a laugh: "You guys are joking, right?"

Ruan Nanzhu shrugged.

"Only if you like this sort of humor."

At dinner, Lin Qiushi had thought he'd be able to see that bug-covered NPC. But the NPC didn't show. It seemed he only appeared in the dining room at lunch, and had its role refreshed consistently…

Everybody except Jian Qianyuan still ate their dinners listlessly.

When Jian Qianyuan appeared in the dining hall once more, she continued scarfing down the fish placed before her. Her unrestrained way of eating left the crowd with even less of an appetite, and they all dispersed after swallowing down some noodles.

Lin Qiushi's group was the same. Only, before leaving, Lin Qiushi took a closer look at Jian Qianyuan, wanting to see if there were any changes on her body.

To his puzzlement, Jian Qianyuan was still currently a simple human. Beyond suddenly loving fish, there was nothing odd about her.

"I'm really scared to see her become one of those things tomorrow." Gu Longming's current feelings about Jian Qianyuan were complex; he and Lin Qiushi were thinking of the same thing.

Neither Lin Qiushi nor Ruan Nanzhu spoke.

That night, Lin Qiushi wasn't getting much sleep. His mind was filled with thoughts of Jian Qianyuan, the way she was changing, and connections between all the clues.

As for Ruan Nanzhu, he'd taken out the fish scales from his pocket, set them on the table, and was currently scrutinizing them closely.

It wasn't raining tonight, and a clean bright moon hung in the sky, casting a silver glow down onto the ship deck and ocean surface. The sea wind brought with it salt and heat through the window, and the beds beneath them were lightly swaying. Had they not been in a door, the atmosphere here actually seemed a tad like a leisurely vacation.

Lin Qiushi looked out to his side. The scenery outside the window changed every five minutes.

Sometimes he could see the deck, and sometimes the stern. Sometimes it was just a black wall. The two people lying behind him seemed to be asleep already, their breathing going even. But just before Lin Qiushi fell asleep as well, he heard a peculiar sound—something was moving across the floorboards. The thing was heavy, enough to press soft creaks from the wooden planks, and it didn't seem to be wearing shoes. Lin Qiushi could even hear the quiet stick of flesh to wood.

This sound was getting closer, finally coming to a stop near their window.

Lin Qiushi held his breath. Through half-closed eyes he saw a gigantic shadow blocking the light from his window. …And Lin Qiushi smelled a wave of familiar fish rot—he knew exactly what the thing standing backlit before him was.

That giant fish-headed monster they saw last night.

It stood right outside Lin Qiushi's window, its nose twitching like it was in search of a specific scent. Lin Qiushi held his breath and didn't dare move an inch.

By moonlight, Lin Qiushi saw that thing slowly place its hands on their window, and then begin to shake the frame with those web-linked fingers.

The window wasn't strong, crunching loudly with the push. Ruan Nanzhu and Gu Longming too woke instantly from their sleep, and the first thing they saw was the giant silhouette standing outside. They could also hear that low, animalistic roaring.

Lin Qiushi thought at first that Gu Longming, fresh from a dream, would scream at the sight of this, but instead he only shuddered before pressing his voice low: "Fuck me, am I having a nightmare right now? Why is this thing at our door—"

Ruan Nanzhu was also calm, pulling out a dinner knife from his pocket that he'd stolen from the dining room.

"Maybe it discovered how tasty we looked?" he said.

Gu Longming patted at his own face and said in a tone of disbelief: "…do I look tasty?"

Ruan Nanzhu looked at him with sympathy: "I guess some monsters like extreme flavors."

Meanwhile, Lin Qiushi thoroughly applauded the enormous nerves on these two people.

The monster broke a hole in the window with a single shove, all the glass on it shattering and raining onto the floor. Then it started trying to climb in. Upon discovering the window was too small, those lumpy white eyes gave a twist, gaze falling sideways onto the wooden door.

"Fuck," Gu Longming swore. "It's not really trying to get in, is it?!"

"Looks that way." Ruan Nanzhu frowned. "Is death random then? No…No way! There’s something we’ve missed!"

As they spoke, the fishman began slamming into the door, and the already-flimsy wood quickly began to topple under its barrage. Lin Qiushi could even hear the wood beginning to splinter.

"When it rushes in, I'll hold it back while you guys escape through the window." Ruan Nanzhu's voice rang clear and calm still. "Got it, Linlin?"

"No," Lin Qiushi said. "I'm not leaving you here alone. Do not make the same mistake."

He frowned, looking very unhappy.

Ruan Nanzhu fell silent, and then sighed like he was giving up something.

"Alright, as you wish."

He handed Lin Qiushi a dinner knife.

"I'm not leaving either," Gu Longming added beside them, jittery.

Though he looked exasperated, Ruan Nanzhu didn't try to talk them out of it. He looked at his watch and said, "thirty seconds. Just hold out for thirty seconds and keep it outside—"

Lin Qiushi and Gu Longming instantly understood—after thirty seconds, the rooms would change, and once the rooms changed they would be able to leave the room, losing the monster behind them.

But these thirty seconds weren't so easy to obtain, because the fishman had already used those sharp claws of his to tear away half of the planks on the door. It seemed moments away from squeezing that scale-covered body through the crack.

Gu Longming turned around and fetched a table to blockade the door with. Ruan Nanzhu dragged the bed over as well to add to the barricade.

Watching Ruan Nanzhu, however, suddenly reminded Lin Qiushi of something. He remembered that the first thing the fishman did when it got to their window was twitch its nose, sniffing—

"Give me the scales you collected today!" Lin Qiushi yelled.

"What?" Ruan Nanzhu startled.

"The scales that you found inside the monster's room—" Lin Qiushi began to repeat loudly once more.

But luckily, Ruan Nanzhu reacted swiftly. The moment he understood Lin Qiushi's meaning he pulled a small paper pouch from his pockets and tossed it outside through a break in the window.

The scales wrapped up in the paper pouch scattered all over the hallway outside. The fishman, once intent on breaking the door down, paused with it, before going over to where the pouch was and bending down as if to pick up the scales.

Seeing this, Lin Qiushi felt some tension release. But the very next moment, once it discovered that there were only scales in the paper, the fishman let out an infuriated roar. It turned around and lunged again for where they were.

All this moving around, however, was enough to last those long thirty seconds. The fishman lunged for them, and just before it would shatter the door, their room switched position, and the fishman disappeared from in front of them.

Lin Qiushi opened the broken door in a hurry and, after making sure the fishman wasn't outside, switched into another room with Ruan Nanzhu and Gu Longming.

His worry soon became reality, because about two minutes later, that fishman once again found their room. It completely obliterated the door before throwing itself inside.

At that moment, Lin Qiushi's group was hidden in a room not far from that one, watching everything go down from the window.

The endless sounds of destruction floated over. After it was sure that its prey had gotten away, the fishman left, heavily panting. It looked as if it had a new target though—that huge mouth of its was slightly open, revealing the sharp thin teeth all crammed inside and the saliva dripping out of a corner.

The three humans hiding in the room didn't dare to make a sound, not until the fishman had gone. Then, Gu Longming let out a long exhale of relief.

"Fuck me, it was following the smell of the fish?! I really thought we were dead there!"

None of them had thought that the fish would come into such effect here. Had Lin Qiushi not reacted so quickly, the three of them might have suffered a casualty among them.

Though the fishman was gone, Ruan Nanzhu's expression had not relaxed. His solemn eyes seemed to make Gu Longming uneasy, and Gu Longming asked, "what is it? Zhu Meng?"

"I think Jian Qianyuan is about to die," Ruan Nanzhu said.

Just as Gu Longming was about to ask why, he remembered the odd developments around Jian Qianyuan during the day. She seemed to have eaten a lot of fish, enough that when she left the dining room, they could all smell that hefty rotten scent on her. If even they could smell the scent, then undoubtedly that monster could easily sniff her out too.

Sure enough, not long after the fishman left, Lin Qiushi's sharp hearing caught a woman's scream. The scream sounded quite far from then, and Lin Qiushi could only vaguely hear it. As for Gu Longming and Ruan Nanzhu, they couldn't hear it at all.

The screaming continued, accompanied by sobbing and wailing, and in the end, it petered off, leaving only hair-raising bellows and sounds of chewing.

Those sounds came from the deck. Lin Qiushi didn't want to know at all what they would find up there the next day.

Of course it would be yet another scooped-clean body, with all its innards gone, leaving only an empty skeletal frame.

It seemed that Ruan Nanzhu could tell Lin Qiushi was having a hard time sleeping. He sat down at the side of Lin Qiushi's bed and lied down with Lin Qiushi, tucking his chin against the top of Lin Qiushi's head. He kissed the strands of hair gently.

The warmth of a body against his back gave Lin Qiushi's frozen voice box a little bit of comfort, but that terrifying sound still seemed to be echoing in between Lin Qiushi's ears. He felt like he could still hear Jian Qianyuan's wailing…

"She's dead," Lin Qiushi said.

"Mh," Ruan Nanzhu said. "Go to sleep. This is normal."

"Maybe I could've figured out a way to save her," Lin Qiushi sighed.

"But you had to save yourself first." Ruan Nanzhu's fingers traversed paths through Lin Qiushi's hair. "We're still short a long sword to kill it with."

In the myth, the weapon that Theseus used to kill the Minotaur was a long sword. But they hadn't seen any weapon on the ship  that could damage the fishman—dinner knives were surely a no-go.

"We found the string," Lin Qiushi said, "and we also found the aperitif." When Jian Qianyuan died, he understood what aperitif actually meant.

Ruan Nanzhu kissed the tip of Lin Qiushi's ear.

"Sleep already. We'll talk about it tomorrow."

Lin Qiushi made a noise of agreement and closed his eyes.

He tried, but he didn't actually manage to sleep so well, only waited blearily until morning.

The weather wasn't good today. That thick cloud layer once again enveloped the entire sky, dim enough to scare people with.

Lin Qiushi got up early and went out onto the deck with Ruan Nanzhu and Gu Longming. None of them were surprised by the additional corpse there. Though its face was no longer discernible, the clothes told them that it was indeed Jian Qianyuan.

Her stomach had been torn open, and all the fish she'd eaten the day before was nowhere to be seen. Also gone were all her innards.

Shen Juexin, who'd already been seasick, vomited once more. Vomiting with him were a few of the weaker girls with a lower threshold of tolerance.

Lin Qiushi also spotted the girl who'd given him a heads up the other day, Xiao Mo. The erratic vibe of a newcomer had faded for her, and her expression was a lot number now, like she was already able to accept the horrifying scene before her.

Two days had passed. Jian Qianyuan was the second sacrifice to be eaten.

The group quickly took care of Jian Qianyuan's body, if "taking care" meant tossing it into the ocean and watching the fish take apart what was left of her.

"I saw that monster yesterday too." The number of people who'd seen the monster had increased, and someone was tremulously describing what happened the night before. "It passed by my door and walked to Jian Qianyuan's room. It split the door open and dragged Jian Qianyuan out…"

"It was too scary," that person said. "I couldn't help her. I'm no match for that monster."

Nobody could defeat a two-meter-tall monster. If they had some firearms, maybe they'd be able to put up a fight, but under these circumstances with only dinner knives at their disposal, nobody wanted to put their lives on the line.

Lin Qiushi was a bit tired. He found a place to sit down in the dining room and pushed the peas in his plate around.

The NPC who gave them food had also appeared, and he looked exactly the same as he did the first day Lin Qiushi saw him. Even his expression was unchanged.

Lin Qiushi and Ruan Nanzhu exchanged a look. Then Ruan Nanzhu got up first, walking toward that NPC.

"Hello sir," Ruan Nanzhu greeted him.

The NPC didn't speak, just stared coldly at Ruan Nanzhu. It was like he was a robot, and what to do when greeted by someone wasn't programmed into his system at all.

"Hello sir," Ruan Nanzhu said to him a second time.

The man still didn't respond.

With a tilt of his head, Ruan Nanzhu pushed the plate of food in front of them right to the ground. The fish inside the plates scattered all over, breaking into pieces.

"What are you doing?" the man finally spoke, sounding quite unhappy.

"I just wanted to ask," Ruan Nanzhu said, "when you're making the food, do you always bring so many insects along with you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

A casual swipe got Ruan Nanzhu one of the human-faced insects buzzing in circles around the man.

"You don't?"

Seeing this, the man set down the ladle for food preparation in his hand and made to leave. But Ruan Nanzhu caught him by a shoulder.

"And where are you going?"

The man began to shake violently.

Watching from afar, Lin Qiushi first thought the man was afraid of maybe angry, but very quickly he discovered that it was neither—the man was melting.

His body was rapidly shrinking, turning from head to toe into a mass of black. This lump dispersed in the dining room with a buzz—it was a hoard of flying insects.

Everybody in the dining room was stunned by this scene, before smacking at them like crazy.

But the insects came and went quickly, disappearing from the dining room just like that. And the NPC who had been right in front of them was now only a set of empty clothing.

"Motherfucker." Gu Longming hadn't seen this coming at all, and said blankly: "This brother was a mosquito demon?"

Lin Qiushi: "…" He didn't know what to say either.

Ruan Nanzhu scratched his head and peeked at Lin Qiushi. "Does this mean there's nobody to feed us fish from now on?"

Lin Qiushi: "…seems that way."

Ruan Nanzhu lifted his palms with an innocent expression. Everybody else in the dining room however—their expressions grew complicated. Who knew what came to mind.

Ruan Nanzhu: "That's a bit of a shame, isn't it."

The group: "…" Not a shame at all, thank you.

Translator’s Note

RNZ speaks to the NPC in the polite register of “you,” lmfao

[Ch. 122] | [Ch. 124]

[hello-everyfandom]

"For a moment, listen silently, what does your heart say?”

Warnings: N/A

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader

Words: 4k

Summary: Suffering lovers and hearts to be mended and stitched back together

Part One “I love you more than the sky and the ground but I can’t do this anymore.”

Part Two “No, it’s over. She ended it.”

(This one is quite long! How hopes and dreams turn into the most painful writing one could ever print. Please, I wish for my own heart to mend as Sirius’ will.)

The next few weeks were nothing but tragic. Lily could barely get you out of your bed nevertheless to class. It seemed that the fight, the breakup, the hurting wore down your stamina until you were not able to stand. It was worse after the party. Before, you could numb the pain of losing Sirius by distracting yourself with rewriting notes and organizing your room. But after the party, after seeing the love of your life lip-locked with another girl, kissing her the way he should kiss you, something in you broke.

Lily sat gently on your bed, placing the cup of warm tea on your table. She whispered kindly, “We have class in an hour, you missed breakfast but I brought you a cuppa.” She moved the duvet that covered your face to see your innocent watering eyes looking up at her. She sighed and smoothed out your hair, feeling the shutters of cries leave your lips. “You need to go to class, Y/N. I can’t keep telling McGonagall you’re sick without her sending you to St. Mungos.” 

“I don’t want to go.”

“Think about it this way,” Lily continued to run her fingers through your hair. She was thankful she had been able to get you to take a warm shower yesterday and change your pajamas, “If you go, you get it done and over with. Then you can come back and we can lay in your bed all afternoon.”

“I’m tired.”

“That’s why I brought you tea. Come on, love, it’s really time to get up.” Lily said gently, pushing the duvet so it was only covering your torso. Instead of sitting up, you blinked back tears before sputtering out.

“I made a mistake, didn’t I?” you covered your mouth, clutching your eyes shut to let out a cry. “I made a mistake breaking up with him. I’m an idiot. I’m a fool.”

“No, no,” Lily cooed, moving your hand from your mouth and petting your cheek, “No, you didn’t. You did what you thought was right at the time.”

“Then why does it hurt so bad?”

Lily didn’t have the answer, she could only reply with the utmost sympathy, “because you still love him.”

“Get up, you sad sack of shit. We’ve got charms in twenty minutes.” James flung the covers off of Sirius. His nose wrinkled at the sight of crumpled tissues that littered his bed. “That’s disgusting. Those tissues better not be from what I think it’s from.”

“You’re a right prick,” Sirius tried to smile, his lips cracked and chapped. 

“You’re not staying in bed anymore, and frankly you smell like shit.”

“It’s true,” Remus chimed in, straightening his tie and his hair. 

“So what? Leave me here. I don’t want to go anyways.”

“Right. Listen, Pads, we’ve been kind to you for a while now, but now, and I say this as sweetly and as loving as I can, we’re getting quite sick of your sulking.” James rolled his eyes.

“Oh wow, thanks,” Sirius said sarcastically, buttoning his shirt up. “You really know how to rip the plaster off, yeah?”

“Maybe if we obliviate you, you’ll become yourself once more,” Remus said wittily.

“I’ll permit it if it allows my memory to forget kissing that girl at the party.” Sirius nearly threw up at the memory of that girl’s lips on his.

James shrugged, throwing a tie at Sirius, “Well, we mean it with love and we know the break up has been hard but-”

“But?”

“But we miss our friend.” Peter finished. Remus nodded in agreement.

“It’s not easy, is all,” Sirius mumbled after brushing his teeth. 

James slapped his hand on his shoulder and said confidently, “No, it’s not. But that’s why we’ll all go through it together, as brothers.” and swiftly lead him out of the dorm room.

As Lily locked her arms in yours and the two of you walked from the Great Hall to class, you were distracted by the open windows of the corridors. The courtyard, which had just been littered with brown, orange, and red leaves, set a moment of comfort in your bones. You always enjoyed autumn, mostly because it was in fall when Sirius had first told you he loved you. You shook that memory out of your mind and looked at the hallway instead. Coincidentally, much to both Sirius and your demise, the marauders and Lily had accidentally crossed paths with each other on the way to class. Eyes like magnets were drawn close together as Sirius looked at you with storming emotions. He looked as if he hadn’t slept, and if he did manage to close his eyes, nightmares in the forms of memories followed him. To be fair, you didn’t look all that right either. Though you didn’t have as prominent bags under your eyes, underneath your loose clothing was skin and bone. Your appetite had lost you and eating became difficult as most of the time you felt sick to even think about food. Sirius looked at you, lost and longing, and you stared with the same intensity, wishing to be in his arms, to sleep for years and kiss until the sun explodes.

“Ms. Y/L/N, will you please stay after class?” McGonagall’s voice rang out in her sharp tone. You froze and looked at Lily worriedly who shrugged.

“You’ll be fine, don’t worry. Meet me in the common room after,” Lily whispered, squeezing your arm before leaving the classroom. It was loud and full of chatter from the students who excitedly were headed to dinner. You waited, pushing hair behind your ears nervously as the students collected their things and filed out of the room. Then, it was silent. You approached McGonagall’s office in the back of her classroom slowly, dreading whatever scolding she would give you. As you pushed open the door, you thought in your head quickly, you had handed in the homework, taken notes in class, raised your hand when asked a question, you couldn’t place anything you did particularly wrong and yet your palms began to sweat.

“Yes, Professor?” you asked with a small voice. McGonagall looked up from her desk and peered at you from her glasses. “Have I done something wrong?”

“Do you think you have done something wrong?”  

“I don’t reckon so, but I’m open to hearing any criticism if need be.” you focused on keeping your voice steady.

“Although, I’m sure you know the answer already, do you know what my particular job is here at Hogwarts?”

You bit your lip, “You’re a professor, perhaps one of the best ones here, of my favorites as well.”

“While I enjoy your compliment,” McGonagall sighed, “I am also the head of the Gryffindor house.”

“Yes, of course.” you nodded.

“And, with such a job comes the responsibility of looking after my students as if they were my own.”

“I’m not sure I understand, Professor.” 

“Sit, please, Ms. Y/L/N.” McGonagall motioned to the seat in front of her desk, a nice plush armchair with maroon velvet. “Despite the belief of my students, I do care, and I notice especially when a particular student seems out of place.” 

You sat on the edge of the seat and played with the threads of your sweater. “If it is my work that is not up to standard, I am sure I can revise or revisit whatever it is that has gotten low marks.”

“Your school work is hardly of the matter here,” Professor looked at the small girl in front of her. Once fiery and loud turned into a pebble on the floor. She admired and quite enjoyed having you as a student and took great pride in knowing you wore the Gryffindor sigil on your robes. But, like your friends, she had noticed an extreme change in demeanor in the past few weeks. “Are you doing alright, Y/N?” she asked kindly.

You looked up in surprise, “Yes, Professor. Though I will say, I will be disappointed if any of my homework or essays have been less than acceptable. I seem to be going through a little bit of a rough patch, I suppose.”

“I noticed,” you froze as McGonagall spoke, “Does this have anything to do with Mr. Black?”

“I-” you couldn’t think of an excuse. McGonagall put her hand up to stop your from speaking,

“Please, I may be older and I may be a teacher, but the students here seem to forget the Professors hear everything.”

You began to beg, “Professor, please, I promise whatever had happened will not affect my school nor my studies-”

She cut you off, “Have a biscuit, Y/L/N.” she motioned to the biscuit tin in front of her desk. When you showed signs of being wary, she opened the top of the tin and pushed it closer to you. Your hands shook as you took one and began to nibble on the edges.

“I do not speak of this, and I trust whatever I tell you and whatever you tell me stays in this office,” she started, you nodded furiously and she continued, “when I was younger, much much younger, perhaps about your age, I too fell in love.”

Your mouth fell agape.

“Dougal McGregor. I met him after my years at Hogwarts before I began my position at the ministry. It was, as most would say, a teenage love affair. We were much like you and Mr. Black. We argued senselessly, but we nevertheless loved each other. When he proposed, I was delighted. I accepted immediately.” your eyebrows rose to ask questions, however, McGonagall merely pushed the biscuit tin towards you again. You complied and took another.

“However, at the time, marriage between a muggle and a witch was proven more difficult than current times. Spouses of magical descent were forbidden to tell anyone of their skills in the wizarding world, and it. Well. The idea of living in a world without magic was unbearable. I had to make a decision.”

“What happened then, Professor?”

“I thought rejecting his proposal would be right for both of us, Dougal and I. I thought it was unfair to be kept in a magic-less marriage whilst Dougal would, in turn, be lied to every day. I made a decision and as a result,” her voice became low, almost sensitive, “I broke his heart and mine as well.”

“Oh Professor, I’m so sorry.”

“While it is in the past, I do think about him often. But, I suppose the feelings you are currently experiencing are what I felt when I left for the last time to London.”

“I see. Forgive me, Professor, why are you telling me this?” 

“Because I want you to know the consequences of decision making. The difference between truly thinking with your head and with your heart.” 

“Did you regret leaving?”

McGonagall pursed her lips in thought, the wrinkles shown prominently near her eyes, “Yes and no. I am overjoyed and proud to stand as the witch I am today. Becoming a professor and working with students, no matter how particularly unenjoyable some are, is a passion. However, it would be ignorant to say I did not frequently think about if I had stayed and married Dougal.”

“What happened to him?”

“I received a letter numerous months later, my mother had told me, Dougal married and was expecting his firstborn.”

“Oh,” you whispered.

“I find it humorous to sit here,” McGonagall gave you a wrinkled small smile.

“How so, Professor?”

“Because when I was heartbroken, the first person I told was my own teacher, you may know him now as Headmaster Dumbledore.”

“Really?” you asked in surprise.

“Yes, we sat here at my desk whilst I told him of my heartache. And now, I sit here, with my own favorite student, discussing hers.”

“I’m not sure if I would call it heartache, Professor,” 

“Then what would you call it?”

In class, Professor McGonagall was strict, sharp spoken. Instead, in her small office, she wore a sympathetic smile and her gaze was warm. You felt as though life and its troubles would cease their crimes against your broken heart the second you stepped in the room. But, still, you looked at her with lost sights, emotions swarming in pupils.

“I don’t think there is a word to describe it. All I know is I ache tremendously and nothing seems to fix this pit in my stomach. I. What do I do?” you begged for an answer.

“I’m afraid I cannot answer that. What I can say is, you’ve been thinking your entire life at Hogwarts with your head. You are a bright witch with a wonderful future ahead of her. You are hardworking and studious, and kind. But, you only seem to listen to your head for answers, you look for the logical position for your chess pieces. Stop your thinking. For a moment, listen silently, what does your heart say?”

Professor McGonagall looked at the time before sighing to herself, “I do suppose I’ve kept you too long, I trust you can find your way back to the common room?”

You nodded and stood, brushing off your skirt. “Of course. Thank you Professor for the biscuits. If it means anything, I’m sure Dougal loved you very much.”

“Y/L/N,” Professor called before you left, “You are welcome any time here, I was not lying when I said you were one of my favorite students.” 

You smiled back, “And I wasn’t lying when I said you were one of my favorite Professors.”

As you walked back to the Gryffindor common room, Professor McGonagall’s story repeated in your head, pounding against your brain and begging to be analyzed. If you thought carefully, letting go of Sirius was equivalent to McGonagall’s separation with Dougal. If you chose your studies and your career, Would you miss out on a life with your soulmate? There was no doubt in your mind that your heart belonged to a certain long-haired beloved. As the Fat Lady looked at you with great pity, you entered the common room, peaking around for Lily. The fire seemed to be the only source of warmth as it lit up the room, leaving shadows cast along the walls. You figured Lily must still be at dinner considering the common room was empty. You rubbed your tired eyes and sat on an armchair facing the fireplace. 

Sirius had decided wallowing was doing nothing but driving him across the wall. He threw a shirt over his shoulders and bounced down the stairs to meet the boys at dinner when he saw you. He could spot you from miles away even if he were blind to the bone. He recognized the old sweater you wore, one that had previously been owned by him. You loved the sweater despite threads coming loose and the smell of Sirius’ cologne fading away. He saw your hands curled up in fists, something you did when you were quite emotional or tired and the low messy bun you had pulled your hair into.

“I thought you were at dinner, Lils,” you spoke quietly, making him freeze. It had been so long, so many minutes and hours since he’d last heard your voice. “If you are here to drag me to the Great Hall, I have to decline as I’m morbidly exhausted from that emotional conversation with McGonagall.” 

Sirius attempted to find his voice, begging his vocal cords to say anything to you but all he could do was stand there, dumbfounded and aching to hear your voice once more. 

“Lily?” you expected to see your red-headed friend but instead made eye contact with him. “Oh.”

“Just Sirius,” he said awkwardly. You stood so you could face him, holding your hands in front of you.

You swallowed harshly and wished you had at least looked somewhat more manageable. “Sirius.”

“Y/N.” he answered. It was hushed, noiseless, painful. “Say something,” he begged.

“What do you want me to say, Siri?” he flinched when you used his nickname. You hadn’t even meant to use it, it just slipped off your tongue before you could realize it.

“Just. Say anything, yell at me, anything. Be angry at me!”

“Why would I be angry?” You weren’t angry. You were hurt.

“For...”

“For what?” you creased your eyebrows. 

“For kissing that girl at the party.”

You pursed your lips and Sirius only held sadness in his eyes. “Sirius...”

“I kissed another girl that wasn’t you, and it is absolutely tearing me apart. I want you to be angry with me.”

“I can’t.”

“Be mad! Yell at me!”

“Sirius,” you stopped him, putting a gentle, small hand on his arm, “We broke up.”

Sirius threw his arms in the air and ran a finger through his hair frustratedly, “that doesn’t make it okay.”

“Doesn’t it? We broke up,”

“No! It doesn’t because I told you, I promised you, I swore I would never kiss another person. I promised I was yours and yours only. And I am. I mean... I was.”

“Sirius, please,” you choked, “It’s hard enough to be around each other already.”

“Don’t you miss me? Miss us?” Sirius had to stop himself from gathering you in his arms and rubbing the small of your back. Biting your lip and eyes beginning to water, you said as quietly as you could,

“Of course I do. I miss you more and more every day. And yes, it... it hurt to see you with that Ravenclaw girl, but it doesn’t matter. We aren’t dating anymore.”

“I don’t know. I think.” He laughed humourlessly, as if the air escaping his lungs were nearly painful to feel, “I think I would’ve gone mental if I had seen you kissing someone.”

“I...” you stopped and sighed. You sat down on the couch, moving slightly to the left. Sirius looked cautiously before sitting next to you, facing you as you looked towards the fire. 

“We can still talk, can’t we? We used to talk all night until Moony would shush us like an old librarian.”

“I don’t know, Sirius. It’s hard. Isn’t it? It’s hard.”

“I know. But, I miss talking. Won’t you just tell me how you’re doing?”

You debated on lying, telling him you were fantastic, but something in you begged you to tell the truth even if it felt like magma on your tongue. “I’m not doing well.”

“Are you stressed about school? I’ve told you many times, you’re the smartest witch in our year, I doubt you have anything to worry about.”

“That’s not it.” you bit your lip, turning from the fire to look at those eyes you so deeply longed for.

“Then what?”

“It’s difficult.”

“Try me.”

“It’s difficult... with us, or without us, I should say.”

Sirius slightly flinched hearing those words and swallowed harshly, “I get the feeling.”

“How have you been?” you asked curiously, studying the way his eyebrows creased and his fingers threading through his hair.

“Same as you, I suppose.”

“Really?”

“Prongs and the boys, they’ve been on my back lately. Say I’ve been moping too much, I’m a downer it seems.”

You giggled under your breath and wrapped your arms around yourself, “Lily says the same. Though, I guess she’s just worried.”

“Worried?”

“I haven’t been sleeping as well, I’m sure you’ve noticed the bags under my eyes,”

“No,” Sirius said truthfully, “I think you still look as beautiful as ever.”

Your lungs stopped breathing, every airway and vein in your body closed as you began to shut down. You stood abruptly and began racing towards the dorm staircase.

“Stop!” Sirius shouted making you freeze, your hand still on the banister. “Stay. Talk to me.”

You wiped angry tears from your face that you didn’t even notice dripped down your cheeks, “And say what? It. it’s torturous, it’s beyond excruciating to be around you.” You thought about your chat with McGonagall, begging your heart to speak, scream anything to make to stop your head from making decisions.

Sirius’ lips frowned, hurt at your tone and your words. “Baby...”

“No! I. It’s too difficult.”

“Why?”

“Because when I look at you, when I see you, when I feel you around me, everything tells me I’ve made a mistake. Is that what you wanted to hear? I made a mistake. I fucked up. I fucked up because I was terrified of us. I was scared of driving you away, scared of you deciding you didn’t love me anymore. And I can’t. I can’t do it! I can’t. I made a mistake.” you spat out breathlessly. Sirius watched in horror as you began to hyperventilate and dove to put his arms around you. He had seen your panic attacks and held you through every one, but this time it felt different. Your breathing began to rapidly increase as you couldn’t hold back broken sobs. 

“Breathe, breathe, love. It’s okay. It’s all okay.” he held your face in his hands, cupping your cheeks like he used to. Your eyes searched his desperately for any buoy that could save you from the drowning you felt. As he blinked, you found your life vest, holding on for dear life as you breathed fresh air into scattered lungs.

“Breathe, okay? ‘M right here, not going anywhere.” he whispered low, kissing your forehead and wiping your tears.

“I’m sorry.” you sobbed, “I made a mistake. I love you. I do. I’m so sorry. What have I done? I love you. I love you more than anything, and I’ve ruined it all.” you threw yourself at him, arms gripping tightly as he caught you. Sirius’ arms snaked around yours, pulling you back to life, back to the earth. He was yours. He knew it. He’s never been anyone elses and he never plans to. How stupid he had been to let you go, to kiss another girl, to pretend he was okay when he was truly devastated. 

“We’re okay, yeah? Take care of each other, now, yeah?” Sirius rocked you slowly, feeling your cries die down in the comfort of his arms. 

“I’m so sorry.”

“Me too, darling.” Sirius guided you slowly to the couch, setting you comfortably on the cushions, “sit for a while,”

You nodded loosely as you leaned on his chest, hiccuping with cries. “I thought I was doing the right thing, leaving you. Had I known how wrong it was, I would’ve thrown myself off the Astronomy tower before ever breaking up with you.” 

“Don’t say that,” Sirius hushed, “I know, you thought it was the right thing. You were trying to protect yourself and me.”

“I’m a fool. A stupid, foolish girl.” you muttered, still catching your breath.

“Don’t say that either. I made mistakes too, perhaps one I’ll regret for the rest of my life.”

“Oh, Sirius.” you began to cry again, “I don’t care if you kissed another girl. I don’t. I just care that I’m the girl you want next to your side.”

He turned your limp body so he could cup your cheeks again, rubbing with the pads of his thumbs. “You will always be the girl. Always. Nothing will change that.”

“Sirius,” you whispered, looking at his lips.

“Yes, love?”

“Kiss me.”

That was all Sirius needed to hear. For days, weeks, endless hours, the two of you, broken hearted souls walked the earth wondering when the pain would end. Sirius tried drinking, you tried swallowing textbooks whole. Nothing seemed to work. Nothing seemed to mend the hurt you felt panging your insides, sending waves of heat down your spines. Nothing could distract you from the absolute shattering sadness that your bodies felt. Two broken hearted souls. Two souls joining for a kiss. A kiss that would last centuries as Sirius vowed to marry you the minute your lips connected. Togetherness, the touch of a soulmate. He moved his lips against yours slowly, tasting, memorizing and wishing this moment would never end. Salty tears and content smiles, at last, the two broken souls found what truly mended, what stitched your hearts back together. Each other. Forever in eternity, never drifting apart for long as fate, the universe and every good hearted soul brought you two together. 

[petri808]

Quarantine memories fic hoarding craze for @thenaluarchive

— thank you to @phoenix-before-the-flame for helping jump start this fic 💜

It was Natsu Dragneel’s absolute favorite time of the day. 1 pm for him, and 8 am for Lucy, his… well, right now they were just online friends separated by distance and priorities. But judging by how he talked about her to friends, you’d never know it. They’d met three years ago on Twitch through a random chat stream about an anime series, and he continued following Lucy on her writing streams. Three years ago, she was a sophomore in college while he was in his senior year. Lucy later moved on to a graduate program, but they stayed in touch, growing close. To Natsu, she wasn’t just some girl online but a real friend he cared very much about. His friends called Lucy his online girlfriend. Pfft. He wished he could call her that.

Roughly two thousand miles away, Lucy Heartfilia was hating life. Her curtains were drawn, and a blanket was pulled over her head to drown out the light. The air conditioner was down to 60 degrees Fahrenheit, working against the low-grade fever and pounding migraine born yesterday. Migraines… the bane of her otherwise healthy existence. It was her fault after all, the temptation of a chocolate dessert knowing full well it was one of her triggers brought on said migraine and all she could do was bear it.

Why?

“Stupid hoarders!” Lucy groaned to herself.

As if dealing with a pandemic wasn’t bad enough, people’s selfish reactions to it were worse. A government agency had claimed that acetaminophen products could help with the virus’s symptoms, so what did people do? Panic buying anything and everything they could find containing that drug! The problem for people like Lucy, is the one over the counter medication that helped with her migraines was Excedrine… an acetaminophen product! And she’d just. run. out.

Lucy’s phone rang and she knew exactly who it could be based on the time. So, she clicked the answer button without opening her eyes.

“Hey, Natsu,” she groaned out.

“Morning Lucy! Oh geez, you sound like a frog.”

“Thanks,” she retorted sarcastically. “I’ve got a migraine.”

“Ouch.” Natsu genuinely flinched. He rarely got headaches, but this wasn’t the first time he’d talked to Lucy when she was going through one, so he knew what she was going through. “The meds aren’t helping?”

Lucy sighed. “I ran out. And did you see the news about all the hoarding? Every store here is bought out. It… sucks.”

“I could check around here and send you any I find,” he offered.

“Aww, that’s sweet of you Natsu, but I don’t wanna trouble you.”

“Pfft. Nonsense. I’m sure you’d do the same for me.”

“Thanks, Natsu. I appreciate it.” Lucy smiled through the pain. There’s a good reason her feelings for the man had grown over the years. His sweet and caring, yet fun and goofy, positive personality was an easy drug to get hooked to.

“Anyway, I gotta get back to work.” Natsu whined. “Good morning again, stay hydrated, and I’ll check on you again when I’m finished for the day, okay Lucy? Get some rest.”

“Have a good day at work Natsu.”

“Will now, after hearing your voice. Talk to you later Luce.”

She giggled softly. “Bye, Natsu.”

Lucy shifted under her blanket as she clicked off the phone to lie on her back. His sexy voice did wonders for her mood despite the pain still ravaging it. Now all she had to do was drag herself out of bed to eat something and drink water. She never had an appetite when she got these migraines, but it was a necessary fuel to fight it. All Lucy had left were extra strength Tylenol, so she could only hope it would at least take the edge off until the migraine ran its course.

Like so many others, this pandemic had really taken a toll on Lucy’s psyche. It’s not as if she went out a lot before it took hold, but just the fact it made going out dangerous brought different emotions to the situation. School had moved online which sucked all its own, she missed casually hanging out with friends on campus, and simply longed for the freedom of leaving her apartment as she pleased. But she understood the precautions of a quarantine. Frankly, she agreed with the city’s efforts to keep them as safe as possible no matter how many grumbled about it. Did it make it easier? No. But it was a necessary evil.

They weren’t completely trapped, could shop for necessities, visit family or friends, just encouraged to limit such gatherings as a safety precaution. If you went out, wear a mask, and just don’t stand too close to other people. Well, unless Lucy knew the person, why would she want strangers in her personal bubble anyway? And the mask thing? Have you ever been out shopping, and someone just sneezes without covering their mouth? Yeah— seriously, would it kill people to use one?! Why were people so selfish during times like this? Not everyone, but too many. Just like with all the hoarding frenzies that swept through cities, it was frustrating and— “Ugh…” being in a pain-driven bad mood was sure bringing her down today.

But despite all the external frustrations, the feelings of isolation from being in a quarantine for months were probably the most mentally exhausting part. It was lonely being so far away from home during a pandemic. Lucy’s been in college for five years and while she’s made friends in the new city, she was starting to crave comfort instead of an empty apartment. Her life online was one of the few things that made her happy, like Natsu’s daily calls, and kept her sane.

Natsu… her face heated up every time she thought about the man. They didn’t have a lot of hobbies in common, but he was always so supportive and made her laugh like no other could. Where they lacked in commonality, was made up in ease of conversation. It hadn’t taken very long for their online chats to feel more like an old friend and less like a faceless stranger. Over the years they’d talked about meeting in person one day after she finished school. It also helped that he was from a city not too far from where she came from, so if she chose to move back it would be convenient. But she also loved the new city she called home. Oh well, Lucy sighed. It was a decision still a couple of years away to make.

The next morning, Lucy woke up to find her migraine had finally given up. She could still feel the little bastard hiding, simmering somewhere ready to strike, but if it stayed mellow, it was something she could tolerate. Throughout the day, Lucy wasted no time in catching up on the homework she couldn’t finish the day before and making sure to stay hydrated with food in her stomach.

Lucy’s phone rang around 2pm.

“Hi Natsu, how was work?”

“Same ole, same ole,” he chuckled. “And how are you? Still feeling, okay?”

“Yeah, it hasn’t come back.”

“That’s great!”

Lucy could hear a lot of background noise, so she asked about it. “Oh, you’re not home yet?”

“Nah, and the commuters are being extra noisy today,” he responded benignly. “Anyway, tonight I won’t have time to talk cause I got a project due for work I need to finish.”

“Oh, that’s okay. Yeah, I’m still catching up from yesterday too and Levy’s dropping by for dinner.”

They chat for a few minutes about their day as Natsu waited for transportation. Lucy knew he used the subway to and from work, but today it sounded a little different, noisier and she swore there were engines instead of the normal train sounds. Maybe it was static. Finally, Lucy caught the muffled words now boarding.

“Shucks, time for me to go,” Natsu cut through. “Sweet dreams Lucy! I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Good night, Natsu!”

Lucy spent the afternoon relaxing online, chatting with friends and gaming. Her friend Levy McGarden later dropped by with take-out food for dinner and the two women caught up on random topics while movies droned on the television. They were both in grad school, so during the semester there wasn’t a lot of time to hang out, but they made do. Lucy was also doing a paid internship at a local magazine 4 days out of the week as part of her master’s program. She really enjoyed working there under one of the senior editors. He made it a fun learning experience.

Life was almost perfect except for the background isolation of the pandemic. Lucy was glad she wasn’t one of the individuals affected by jobs cuts, but it still got under her skin to feel trapped in a way. It was nice with her friend over... ‘Maybe I should see if Levy wants to become roommates?’ She wondered as she drifted off to sleep. The apartment would sure feel a lot less empty.

A knock at the door roused Lucy from her sleep. She blinked and yawned, looking at the alarm clock and that said 9 am the next morning. ‘Natsu didn’t call,’ she thought how odd. Maybe he slept in after working late.

Lucy dragged herself out of bed, throwing on a robe to answer the front door. “Gimme a sec,” she called out as she neared it.

“UPS delivery, ma’am.” The male voice responded.

‘UPS?’ Lucy grew confused. She didn’t remember ordering anything through them, but maybe she’d forgotten?

She peaked out of the peep hole, but all she could see was the box being held up. Okay a little weird, but some of the delivery people did that to show they were legitimate service people. Lucy slowly opened the door but kept the chain lock on while peering through the gap. But what she saw next brought on instant tears.

“H-How?” Her voice stammered out as her fingers quickly undid the lock and opened the door wide.

There Natsu stood holding a small brown box, dressed in a uniform of sorts, with a mask hanging under his chin, and wearing a goofy grin.

Lucy snorted a laugh as her eyes crinkled in happiness. “Is that a Halloween costume?”

“Yeah,” his smile widened, and hand scratched his head. “Surprise delivery,” Natsu held out the box, “for Lucy Heartfilia.”

“What is it?” She asked as she took it from him.

“Oh, I um found you Excedrine.”

Lucy opened the box to find 4 bottles. “You certainly did,” she laughed. “But why’d you bring it yourself?”

“It was quicker than the mail and… I hoped…” Natsu’s mannerism grew sheepish and tentative, “it was about time we finally met in person?”

Her face softened with a smile. “It truly is.” Lucy gestured into the apartment. “Please, make yourself at home.”

[violet-knox]

heyy :) I saw that your asks were open and of course I read your rules before coming here and I was wondering if you can write an adult snape fic where the reader is a fellow professor that he’s know from his childhood and they start to rekindle thier relationship

thanks in advance and keep up the great work !! <33

Gifts of the Past

Pairing: Snape x Professor!Reader

Summary: Severus thought his week couldn’t get any worse after finding out he’d need to teach his Slytherin’s to dance until Dumbledore announces the arrival of a new Professor joining the staff.

Word Count: 6207

A/N: So when I read these requests, this idea formed in my head and I couldn’t help but merge them (side note: as the first request didn’t specify a gender while the second did, I adhered to the first). I hope both requests were satisfied while also providing a unique piece to the ever growing list of snape x reader stories on here and I hope you enjoy it! Thank you to both anons (I’m assuming you’re two different people) for your asks and your kind words!

Also I know the gif I picked is suggestive but the reader is gender neutral which I’m proud of because it was very difficult to keep it that way with the dancing scenes. I just thought the gif was so beautiful when I found it, just look at that cuff 🤤 but the gif choice doesn’t hint to the reader’s gender or race as it may appear. 

Nothing could have brightened his mood more than the thought of him walking into the Great Hall and finding the entire school deserted. It was really the only way Merlin could make up for the hand he’d been dealt this year and every other year since Potter invaded Hogwarts. This year however, the boy was clearly attempting to test his natural gift to bring trouble as the past three years hadn’t provided him with sufficient danger to prove his talent. It was bad enough he’d brought such a dangerous tournament to the school, but of course he had to go and get himself picked despite being underaged. Severus felt like he hadn’t gone a day without stressing since Dumbledore first made the announcement about the Triwizard Tournament and just when he thought things couldn’t get any worse, the old Wizard had to instruct the head of houses to prepare their students for the Yule ball, as if the schools only Potion’s Master didn’t already have enough on his plate. 

He’d spent the rest of the day sulking after his attempts to persuade the Headmaster someone else should take up the privilege of teaching his Slytherin’s to dance failed. Sleep could barely find him last night as he kept hoping he’d wake up from this nightmare, that the universe would cut him a break, but it was clear as he walked by the tables housing the school’s guests, his eyes shooting Dumbledore daggers as he passed the smiling man on his way to his seat at the high table, that he wouldn’t rest so long as Potter slept under the same roof as him. He slouched in his seat and waited for the day to begin so he could look forward to its end, staring so hard at the table before him, he was sure it would eventually catch fire if food didn’t replace his rage soon. 

Dumbledore stood and cleared his throat to make his morning announcements, Severus finding himself focussing his anger towards him the more he rambled on about the first task and the current status of the tournament. His resentment towards the man only grew as he mentioned the Yule ball until he introduced the new professor who would replace Septima Vector for Arithmancy until the end of the year, a very familiar name washing away all his anger and replacing it with absolute horror. His head snapped to the side as he watched you stand with a smile, waving at the students who clapped for you. Severus’ eyes widened as he forced himself to join them, giving a few shallow claps but finding himself unable to slip out of the astoundment he found himself in. 

You smiled and looked over towards Severus as you sat back down, sensing everyone’s anticipation for breakfast to begin. You caught his eye and saw the shock written all over his face before breaking your stare and shifting your eyes to your lap. At least the expression on his face told you he hadn’t tried to ignore you when he’d walked right past you this morning to his seat at the high table. There were no words to describe how you’d been feeling today. Nervous about your first day as a professor at Hogwarts, concerned about being accepted into the family of staff, anxious to see Severus again after all these years and absolutely heartbroken when he didn’t even acknowledge you as he walked past you like you meant nothing to him.

The food appeared in front of you not long after you sat down, but you could hardly find your appetite as you felt Severus continuously glancing your way every chance he got. You did your best to chat with your new colleagues, keeping up polite conversation as they ate while you picked at your food. You watched Severus chug whatever beverage was in his goblet as he left his own plate completely untouched. He was the first to leave the table, watching with a frown as he slinked away behind some side door with no idea where it led. You let out a small sigh as you sat back in your seat, beginning to wonder if this career choice was a good idea. When Dumbledore approached you, mentioning Severus was now teaching at Hogwarts, serving as Potion’s master and Head of Slytherin, you felt excited. You’d missed him over the years since graduation, finding yourself regretting a lot about your relationship as time went on. But you’d taken this job offer as a sign to reconnect, a second chance to do what you didn’t have the courage for back during your school days.

You were so naive back then, thinking letters would be enough to keep you in contact with him after graduation, that you were closer to Severus than it seemed, but it was nothing more than a silly illusion created by your imagination. Looking back, you’d found yourself always claiming there was no good time to tell him how you felt, that you really liked him as something more than just a friend, but that was just an excuse for the fear you held onto every time you thought of him rejecting you. After seeing how close he was with Lily, how he buried himself in his schoolwork and made new friends when their friendship burned to the ground, you’d tried to push yourself, to be there for him and show him there was still someone in his life who thought he was worthy. But no matter what you did, you felt nearly as invisible as you did now, and perhaps in all these years since the war had ended, nothing had truly changed. 

One by one, professors and students began to file out of the Great Hall and as the room emptied, you slowly began to find yourself in complete distress, unsure of what to do about Severus, about this job and your possible conflict of interest. Pushing through, you tried to ignore your feelings and all thoughts of the Potion’s Master to focus on your classes. The day went by faster than you’d initially thought, each class easier than the last as the students seemed to accept you and your teaching style. Before you knew it, dinner had rolled around and knowing Severus had skipped lunch, eating nothing at breakfast, you anticipated seeing him already seated at the high table when you entered the room. Pausing a moment, you debated on what you should do, but your heart had already decided for you, your feet walking faster than you could process until you found yourself taking a seat next to him. 

“Hi Sev.” You spoke in such a low voice, soft yet reserved, like you were introducing yourself to a complete stranger. It saddened you that you felt so nervous with Severus when you used to be so close once upon a time. He looked back at you with those wide eyes of his and the more you stared into them, the more you felt like you didn’t know him at all. 

“(Y/N).” He stated your name with just a hint of surprise in his tone like his child-self was introducing you to him. He’d spent the day with such a headache thinking about what happened this morning, about you and everything that’s piled onto him. When he thought of you, he remembered the childhood friend who’d stuck by his side, who he’d taken for granted and who he could talk to about anything. But he struggled to feel that way again, to feel comfortable enough around you to open up to you and he wished that wasn’t the case. He needed someone to talk to, he needed someone there by his side these past few miserable years, but he could see now that he truly wasn’t deserving of such a thing, that he’d forever spend his life alone because that’s the card he’d dealt himself all those years ago and he had no right to try and get back what he’d lost.

“It’s nice to see you again.” You smiled, hoping this dense air between you would lighten with a bit of small talk. You wanted to tell him how much you missed him, his friendship and how close you once were. Everything was so much simpler back when you were eleven, still new to Hogwarts and oblivious to the world’s problems. Now, everything was different. You were both grown adults with responsibilities, changed as people and you weren’t even sure you’d mix well with him anymore.

“You too.” Severus happily retorted your attempt at making small talk, desperate to clasp at anything that could restore your lost friendship. Even as food appeared before him, he made no notion of filling his plate, his attention instead lay completely with you. “I-I had no idea you were joining the staff this year.”

You broke your gaze from his eyes and looked down at the table filled with food, your goblet was full and ready to be drunk, every other person in the room already indulging themselves in a well deserved meal. Looking over at Severus’ plate you found it as empty as yours, like he hadn’t even noticed the food had appeared as his eyes continued to study you while you slowly began to fill your plate, feeling less and less hungry as the seconds ticked by.  

“It was a last minute decision,” you said, continuing to avoid his eyes as you began to nibble on a muffin. Severus watched you a moment, feeling comfortable enough to eat for the first time that day as he picked up a sandwich.

“I’m glad you decided to take the job,” he said, keeping his gaze on you as much as he could before munching on his food. His tone sounded so sincere and you couldn’t help but stare at him, wondering how he truly felt about you being here. This morning, you’d felt so hurt by his cold shoulder, almost ready to quit if things didn’t go as well as they did during your first lesson for your classes throughout the day. Now, here he was claiming to be happy you were sitting here beside him, and you so badly wanted to believe that.

“Oh?” you asked curiously, hoping he meant what he said, hoping there was a chance to at least regain your old friendship. “Because it didn’t seem that way this morning.”

Severus’ eyes suddenly took on the weight of the world as he looked down at his lap. You could feel his own disappointment in himself, his shoulders slouching, his hair falling over his face in the same way it always did when you were kids. Clearly things hadn’t changed that much, and you were almost happy to see you still knew him as well as you did. 

“I apologize. I admit, you’ve caught me in a rather unpleasant mood,” Severus stated, feeling guilty for how he’d acted this morning. You were right. He should have said something to you, noticed you before Dumbledore spoke your name or at the very least came to find you earlier in the day to apologize sooner.

“What’s on your mind?” you asked him, relieved his stiffened attitude wasn’t the doing of the fact you’d re-entered his life. You turned your body towards him and began to feel like a child again, meeting Severus outside in the courtyard to talk about your day, to let him unburden his issues on you as you comforted him.

“There was a Head of House meeting yesterday. We were told by the Headmaster the responsibility of preparing the students for the Yule ball lay in our hands.”

You smiled, surprising a giggle as you remembered the night of Slughorn’s party, Severus tripping over his own feet when you asked him to dance with you, though you didn’t blame him for it after he’d just gone through his growth spurt. He had no such excuse now of course, but you could tell he hadn’t danced since that day, that he worried about how a lesson may go with his students, especially after the reputation you heard he held as a professor at Hogwarts. 

“If you’d like, I could help with your lessons,” you offered without a second thought. 

“You would do that?” Severus looked at you in awe, rather stunned by your selflessness after how he’d treated you. He couldn’t believe his luck, how you’d shown up just in time to help him with a secret he’d been dreading would be the talk of the entire school after he failed to teach his students to dance. He could only imagine the loss of respect he’d gain after working so hard to earn it all these years, how the students would make fun of him, how he’d never be able to step foot in the staffroom again without being ridiculed. 

“Of course. Anything for an old friend.” You sounded almost hurt as you spoke, knowing he’d likely see you as nothing more than an old friend. But if the universe had placed you in this new job, pushed you to him, perhaps you were meant to take the second chance and risk your current relationship with him. You were after all being trusted enough to help him develop his dancing skills, something you were sure the scary professor of the dungeons wouldn’t easily entrust to anyone. “Care to begin after dinner?”

Severus nodded with a smile, a look of content settling on his face and for a moment, you could have sworn you saw his eyes twinkle, something you hadn’t seen since the first day he’d stepped foot on Hogwarts grounds. You both continued your meal, Severus feeling calmer as he continued speaking with you, catching up on what you’d been up to all these years. Thoughts of the tournament, the upcoming war, the Potter boy’s knack for finding trouble slipping his mind if not for a brief moment. He allowed himself instead to turn back the clock to a time much simpler than his current life, a time where Lily was still alive, where he still had a friend who cared about him. He’d taken for granted so much of his life as a boy, so much of his younger years spent filled with hatred and resentment towards those he blamed for making him miserable that he’d missed all the good parts he could only hope to regain now as an adult. You were the one constant in his life, the one thing that didn’t complicate his life, the one person he could count on and he’d completely dismissed what you had to offer. He was a fool for focussing on what he didn’t have rather than what he did have, a greedy teenager who should have seen what was right in front of his eyes. 

Finishing off your food, you followed Severus down to the dungeons once the crowd of students had scattered throughout the castle. You walked alongside him, unable to help yourself from smiling at how easily you’d both settled back into your old selves, back to when your only concerns involved grades and who would win the next Quidditch match. You felt oddly nostalgic as you looked around the potion’s classroom, the layout exactly the same as when you were a student. You took your time to look around as Severus wove his wand and cleared some space. Walking up to the desk at the front of the room, you picked up the old quill sitting next to a pile of scrolls in the corner.

“You still have this?” You smiled as you ran the tips of your fingers along the feather, still intact and preserved rather well after all these years. You could still remember the look on Severus’ face when you’d given him the quill set you’d spent the majority of your money on for Christmas in your seventh year; complete shock with a dash of regret that he couldn’t afford something equally as stunning. He’d promised that one day he’d repay your kindness, that when he’d made something of himself, he’d buy you something worth ten times as much as the quill set that had gotten him through his Potion’s Mastery and all his days as a professor. 

As time passed, the memory the quill held began to fade and slowly, he’d forgotten the promise he made. He walked over to you and took the quill from your hand, realizing just how much he truly had to make up for after all these years. He set it back down on the desk and began to wonder if Merlin had sent you here for a reason, if his redemption wasn’t just about protecting Lily’s son, but about reconnecting with those who’d supported him, who he’d brushed away and to take the second chance at a normal life he was being offered. 

“I never thanked you properly for that gift,” he said under his breath as he stared at the quill, now the centerpiece of his desk, a new reminder for what he owed you. His eyes filled with longing, the sparkle you saw earlier slowly dwindling away as he hung his head low. You looked at him with such awe. Life had not been kind to him since graduation, that was clear through the weight he carried. He frowned when you asked him what he’d been up to since you last saw him, flashes of all his mistakes, all his sins passing before him. You could see it and it pained you to know that he hadn’t lived through the dreams he’d once shared with you as a child. 

“You don’t need to thank me Sev, that was a long time ago,” you told him with a smile, beyond touched that he’d kept something as simple as a quill when you knew he could afford much better now. He’d taken care of it, even kept the original nibs that came with the set and the inkwell which no doubt had to take a chunk of his time just to clean it out and refill. 

Taking his hand, you led him to the center of the classroom, turning to face him, gently positioning his hands to begin your first dry run of the dance you would soon share with him every evening before bed. His limbs obeyed you as you took his hand and pressed yourself to him, closer than you’d been all those years back when he’d first danced with you.

“Just, take it slow and let me lead. And then we can switch,” you whispered to him as you began to sway across the floor. The room fell into a soft silence as you led him, his feet struggling to follow yours at first, but he was a quick study as usual. Eventually, you felt confident enough in his movements to let him lead, switching position as you continued to sway in silence, Severus’ eyes lost in yours until the minutes passed by, turning into days. Before you knew it, you’d spent every evening after dinner for the past week with Severus, dancing with him for hours until it was time for bed. 

You’d never felt so close to someone as you did with him now, like that missing part of your soul had finally found itself again. A week had passed, yet you felt like you’d lived here for years as he had. Every time he held you in his arms, your heart slowed to match his even beat, your eyes flickering between his and his lips. You wanted to tell him how you felt about him, how much you’d admired him, how you’d always loved and cared about him even when he didn’t notice you, but every time you tried, your heart collapsed in on itself, stopping you in fear of ruining what you had now just like it had when you were kids. The emotions you felt when he pulled you closer were too much, when he looked deep into your eyes and gave you that smile like he was trying to bring you both back to that night at Slughorn’s party, how different things may have turned out if he’d known how to dance. Perhaps you would have had the courage to tell him how you felt then, kissed him before he’d tripped over himself. Time was such a delicate fragment in the ensembled artwork of the universe, affected by every movement, every word spoken by every human being on earth. 

Looking into his eyes, you saw that same twinkle he seemed to only let shine for you. It had been him who’d insisted he needed to practice again and again every night. It was him who’d always led you to his classroom, locking the doors and even bringing music to keep you both company as you danced the night away. He was as mysterious as the students had said, as lonely as your colleagues had told you, but you didn’t want to believe it. He was still that boy you met in the library in first year no matter the life he lived.

“Severus?” you whispered, his face so close to yours, his hands holding yours tightly. He looked at you with wonder, waiting for your words, for the question he knew you’d kept on the tip of your tongue since the day you'd arrived. He feared it, worried about what you may think of him if he answered it truthfully. He had yet to share everything about his life, how he’d betrayed your memory, his promise to you, that he was to blame for the death of their friend. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

You sounded so nervous, your eyes shifting down to look away from him and his concern suddenly grew. He stopped his motions as he held you still, waiting for the words he feared would slip your tongue. His hand tightened his hold on you, needing you to stay with him, to keep him company. You’d become the only thing this past week that kept him at peace, that kept him alive. He looked forward to your evenings together, the thought of simply swaying through the classroom the only thing keeping him whole. 

“What is it?” he mumbled cautiously, a bit of resentment present in his tone. 

You’d terrified him, you could see your words worried him to no end. You couldn’t tell how he would react if you told him the truth and you weren’t sure if you could handle it. You’d both cherished every moment you had together again, cherished the past, the present and the future you could see alongside one another, but you weren’t sure how much you could bear the days if all he saw in you was an old friend. Thoughts of how happy he’d seemed the last few days roamed in your mind, playing on repeat, bleeding into your childhood memories. You could almost feel your emotions reciprocated as you looked at him, your chest pressed to his as you leaned in, Severus frozen in his place, his mind blank with awe. 

Words could never be enough to describe how you felt, to tell him how much he meant to you. But Severus was never one with words anyways, never caring for them as he always read people better through their actions and as he did so now, he wondered why of all the people in the world, why of everyone you’d met in your life, he was the one you wanted to be close enough to press your lips to his. He wondered what made him so special, why he was so lucky to have you showing your affection for him through the gentle touch of a kiss. Your lips were barely parted, moving slower then he had when he danced with you. He could feel your nerves as you kissed him slowly wither away when he kissed you back. 

Your hands grasped at him, and for a moment, when he felt you pull your hand away from his, he thought the moment had ended, only to be snapped back into it as your fingers were buried in his hair. Your free hand tugged at the ascot he wore, Severus finding himself pulled into you as you walked backwards, your lips never leaving his. You moved your lips eagerly until your back hit the wall, pulling Severus closer as you encouraged him to press himself into you. He moaned into your kiss, his hands wrapping around you, one pressed into your lower back, the other between your shoulder blades. His senses heightened as he tried to memorize the feeling of your kiss, of your figure under his fingertips, your chest against his, your legs entangling themselves with his. 

You were almost disappointed when you both parted for air, huffing as you tried to catch your breaths, but the look on his face was more than worth the loss of contact. He looked as if he was still questioning reality, like he wasn’t sure about your intentions and of course, as before, words couldn’t help him make sense of the situation. Your hand slipped out of his hair instead and cupped his jaw, your thumb swiping across his cheek as he nuzzled into your touch. You could see the weight of the world returning as his smile weakened, his eyes closed as the soft sound of the music filled the room. 

It broke your heart to see him like this, like he found himself unworthy of love, like he thought himself destined to be alone. You began peppering him with light kisses over his cheek, his nose, his jaw, what little skin of his neck you could reach until you finally saw his smile returning to his face. He opened his eyes and held his hand up to press against yours, still nuzzling into your touch as the twinkle in his eyes sparkled brighter than before. 

“I’m not the same person you once knew,” he whispered, his heart breaking with every word, his instinct to push you away overtaking his need to have you as close to him as possible. He could hardly believe you felt this way about him, that after all these years, he’d been blinded by his own hatred to see what was in front of him and here he was trying to ruin what had yet to even be explored.

“Well, I’d be willing to get to know the new you if you’ll allow it,” you said softly, smiling as you showed no interest in running away from the spark between you. 

“(Y/N), there’s something about my past you should know-”

“Sev,” you interrupted him when you saw the hurt in his eyes, the pain he brought on himself during such a sweet moment. You’d waited years for this day, and you weren’t about to let him ruin it when you knew he needed a moment like this. A short period of time to simply exist in the presence of someone that loved him, to forget the rest of the world and live in the moment. “You don’t have to tell me anything now.”

You knew he wasn’t ready, that he was only pushing himself to tell you whatever it was weighing on him because you’d kissed him. But you could wait until he was comfortable enough to share, until the time was right and now was not that time. You’d learned a lot this past week, how truly stressed he was, how the Yule Ball was far from the only thing that had him stressing every second of every day. He needed a chance to relax, to find harmony in his life and whatever secret he wanted to tell you would do the exact opposite. 

Severus smiled as he felt the tension ease off his shoulders, the sound of the music returning to his ears. He reached down and took your hand, slowly stepping away as he led you back to the center of the room, offering to finish your dance, unable to thank you enough for all your patience, for everything you’d ever done for him. You happily obliged and danced the night away once more, looking forward to repeating your new routine tomorrow and the day after that until the holidays finally arrived. 

He couldn’t count how many times he’d danced with you, how many kisses you shared in between, yet this morning felt nothing like the last few weeks. Today, he was to dance in front of his entire house with you, to teach them what you’d taught him and though he was utterly grateful for your lessons, he couldn’t stop the shaking pressure he felt for his reputation and the reputation of his house. He wanted to make you proud today, to help his students excel and to keep the school from spreading awful rumours like it had when he was young. 

Tightening his ascot, he smoothed over his robes and ran his fingers through his hair a few times, sighing as it lay as flat as the pancakes he’d never managed to master whenever he cooked for himself. He held his head up high as he left his chambers and walked down the hall to his classroom, met with the majority of his house already waiting outside his door. You were nowhere to be found and he could hardly wait for this day to end. He let his students shuffle inside as he prepared the room for the lesson to come, minutes passing by as more students passed through those doors, but you had yet to arrive. Time was nearing and he was beginning to worry you had decided against aiding him in this particular lesson. He looked at the clock and sighed as the seconds hand passed twelve, indicating time was up. 

“Gather around,” he commanded the room as silence fell around him, all eyes gleaming at him with anticipation as he felt his heart pounding with fear. “The Yule Ball, is a celebrated event taking place on the night of Christmas Eve; a tradition carried out for centuries and as students of the hosting school, students representing the house of Salazar Slytherin, I expect nothing less than an adequate performance from each one of you when the night arrives.”

Severus spoke to each of his students, walking down the classroom, eyeing each and every one of them. He did his best to keep his mind off of you, trying to stay focused on the task at hand instead, but you’d been at the forefront of his mind for so long and as much of a skilled legilimens as he was, even he wasn’t susceptible to the effects of the love you had for him. 

“Now, the core event of the evening will of course be the dance. As such, today’s lesson will concentrate on the development of your dancing skills,” Severus froze in his place, losing his train of thought as his eyes met yours. You stood there with a smile behind all the students, closing the door behind you. “A demonstration will be presented, and you are each expected to pay attention as none of you will leave this room until you’ve performed well enough to uphold the reputation of your house.”

You pressed your lips together as you watched him address his class, rather taken back by his dominant presence. You couldn’t believe this was the same shy boy you’d met all those years ago, the same one that would rather be left alone than be placed in front of a room like this but you felt oh so proud of him and everything he’d accomplished thus far. “Professor (Y/L/N), if you may join me.”

He held out his hand for you as you stepped forward, the students parting like the sea as they stared in awe. The shock on their faces shouldn’t have surprised you, since you’d had many of them come complaining to you about all the Potion’s assignments they were being dealt, but you’d known Severus for so long now, you couldn’t imagine having any other relationship with him than the one that had blossomed over the last few weeks.

Severus led you to the centre of the room, waving his wand and allowing the music to fill the room before positioning himself waiting for the right moment to begin gliding across from floor with you. His eyes never left yours, his feet moving so elegantly. It felt nothing like the dry runs you’d done with him over the weeks, like he was almost trying to impress you. You missed how close you were to one another as you danced now, eyes all on you. But most of all, you missed the twinkle in his eyes, the smile he wore on his lips as he held you so sincerely. 

“Pair up and start practicing,” he ordered and immediately you watched his students obey. It wasn’t at all like what everyone had said about the Potion’s Master. It wasn’t fear that commanded them, it was the respect and admiration they had for their Head of House that pushed them to follow his instructions without question. You smiled at him as you both continued to dance, the students following your movements, many of whom continued to look over to you as an example. 

“I’m sorry I’m late,” you whispered to him. Slowly throwing your arm over his shoulder to get as close to him as he’d allow in front of the students. “I was looking for this.”

You showed him your wrist and watched him let his guard down if not for a split second. His eyes analyzed the old green ribbon you had tied around your wrist, almost as well preserved as the quill he kept on his desk. He watched it disappear as you placed your hand back over his shoulder, memories of the first time you’d wrapped it around his wrist for good luck when Slytherin was playing Gryffindor in his first year during the Quidditch finals swarming his mind. That was of course, the one and only time he saw his team win the Quidditch cup during his days as a student, his first and only time to have worn that ribbon, giving it back to you in complete dismissal after the game. He’d abandoned you that night, choosing to party with his housemates who he hoped to fit in with over the simple celebration you’d invited him to. You looked so hurt the next day and it took a long while before you spoke to him again. But despite the horrible memories, the guilt he felt now, you’d still kept that ribbon and it warmed his heart. 

“I thought since you were so nervous about today, I’d wear it for luck,” you told him, hiding the fact you’d tossed the ribbon in the bottom of your trunk after he so rudely dismissed you, never to see the light of day until now. You’d debated tossing it out throughout the years, but you could never do it. It served as a reminder for what you’d almost lost, for the love you still carried and the potential your relationship with Severus had.

“(Y/N), I-I’ve been meaning to ask you,” He whispered in such a low voice, you could hardly hear what he was saying, his words spoken for your ears and yours alone. “Would you accompany me to the Ball?”

“Of course, I will.” You happily accepted his proposal as you continued to sway in his arms, your conversation coming to an end as a new song began. Severus stepped away from you, his hair covering his smile as he composed himself to address the class, instructing his students to continue practicing. You both spent the remainder of the evening helping the students, waiting to be alone once more as rumours spread throughout the school of Professor Snape’s dancing and his surprising partner. Many had looked forward to the sight, wondering how he may fare on the dance floor, though no one expected to see the grace in his movements and the chemistry between you. 

He’d spent all those nights with you in the hope’s rumours wouldn’t spread through these walls, but he supposed there was no avoiding it and if talk had to have spread, he was at the very least glad it didn’t tarnish his reputation. You and he would of course never hear the end of it from your colleagues; the first of the Hogwarts professors to have a chance at maintaining a relationship whilst holding a job at the school, many of whom still remembered teaching you as students. None of it mattered to him though. They could all talk as much as they liked, he would forever keep you close to his heart, safe from the rest of the world and cherish every moment he had with you so long as you allowed him in your life. He was utterly grateful for the second chance he was given, the one good thing to appear in his life amongst the sea of never ending darkness and he couldn’t have imagined any better way to combat it than to do it with you.

~

A/N: Can you tell I’m not a dancer? 😅

So this didn’t turn out exactly as I’d hoped. It doesn’t feel as organic as I wanted it to be, but then again, I can’t really expect it to feel organic since the dance lesson wasn’t in the books. Still, it was fun to write and I found myself restraining myself from going on forever with this story. I hope you found it refreshing and entertaining nonetheless. And who knows, maybe I’ll do a part 2 one day with the actual Yule Ball 😁

~

As mentioned previously on my schedule update post, I’m discontinuing my tag list so this will be the last time I tag anyone on any one-shots. Thank you all for sticking with me, your support truly means the world to me and I hope you’ll continue to read what I have planned for the future 💜

@sleepysnapesnake @wanderingtrails @darkthought15 @bush-viper-cutie @fluffymadamina @dracos-mudblood @mitchiesdungeon @severuslovebot @ravenhopeflyte54 @cuddlebunny0330 @flowerdementia

[faolan-red-eagle]

I’m Sorry I’ve Made a Mistake, This Is My First Time Being Alive 

@reachfolk here is a flashback of bby Ru making very bad decisions. tw for disordered eating and self-destructive behavior 

He was always hungry, was the thing. That was how it started: a painful gnawing in his belly once he hit his sapling years. It was incessant, and it hurt, and he hated it. And his bones ached all the time, as he grew, and he seemed permanently lost in his own body, tripping over everything and fumbling things he would have handled with ease at thirteen. The worst it ever got was the summer he shot up seven inches at eighteen, when everything hurt so badly all he wanted was to curl up under the blankets and cry. He couldn’t help with the clan’s needs like he used to, like he should have been doing, so he started taking a little less at meals, rationalizing it as needing less because he was doing less of the work. 

It wasn’t long before the dizziness set in, the tremors in his hands, the nausea. He wasn’t an idiot, he knew what that meant, but. But he was eighteen and angry with himself for not being able to take care of himself, and he didn’t know where to put that anger, so he continued making it worse because he sort of... wanted it to hurt. Because he’d taken to stealing food from Nord villages to fill the hole in his belly, and it was wrong of him to do that. Because he hadn’t earned a proper meal yet because he wasn’t helping like he should be. It made sense, in his head: not contributing meant you didn’t get to eat because that was how it worked, or how it had worked when he was small. 

That was the problem, in the end: that it made sense. 

By the time Eithne got back from Druadach’s healer training at the start of autumn, he had gotten very good at pretending he wasn’t dizzy and exhausted all the time. By the time Eithne got back, he’d got seven inches taller and lost twenty pounds. 

Eithne took one look at him and dragged him off into the woods, waiting until they were alone before summoning golden restoration magic to her hands. “I’m fine,” he mumbled, blinking spots out of his eyes.  “Do not,” his older sister hissed, “lie to me, Ruaidri ap Cynwrig. This is not fine; you look like a damn twig.” 

He bristled in response. “I got tall, so what? Nothing’s wrong with me, now piss off.” (He towered over her now, and it left him wrong-footed.) 

All the fight seemed to drain out as she sighed, “Ru, when did you eat last? That’s not. You’re growing still, you can’t skip meals like that, it’s not healthy.” 

We used to, he thought, mulishly. We all did, because we had to. And you didn’t eat if you didn’t earn it first, and I don’t see how that’s different now just because I’m a bit older. 

A lie by omission: he never told Eithne why he hadn’t been eating properly, not really. He just said he had no appetite (actually true, at that point), that everything tasted like ash in his mouth (also true), but not why that was. 

Another: he accepted Eithne’s mothering and never once mentioned that he couldn’t tell if he was hungry anymore unless he felt light-headed. 

What he cannot tell her now because he can’t find the words: He keeps candy in his pockets because he is terrified of not having enough, but he only remembers to eat when someone else is, because it’s part of a routine. He’ll forget until he starts feeling the blood rush in his ears, until he can’t hold a blade without his fingers shaking, unless someone is there to remind him. He counts bread slices obsessively, carefully tallies up birch nuts and pine seeds and dried currants, but it would never occur to him to eat any of it unless his vision starts getting dark at the edges when he moves too quickly.  “Ready to go?” his sister asks, and he smiles, blinking away little gray spots. (It occurs to him, vaguely, that he’s forgetting something. His head hurts.) 

“Of course,” he says, and it’s only half a lie.