#the broom dusters

[kreachvera]

[addiemilfgomery]

without miss babcock, me muse is gone.

[radiophd]

elmore james and the broom dusters -- dust my blues (i believe)

[newyorkthegoldenage]

A broom vendor on the street, 1930s. How did he disentangle his goods if someone wanted to buy one?

Photo: John Albok via MCNY

[deadeyemarkxman]

Remembers...The broom.

[mackthecheese]

What's something you did as a lil kid that you were super proud of but looking back was... adorably dumb?

I wouldn’t say I was proud, but I unwrapped and ate about half of a dish sponge (brand new, not used). It was one of the really soft ones and tiny me liked the texture lol.

I was a strange child…

[lustbcrne]

Thoma has absolutely fantasized about getting dressed up in maid outfits and gettting fucked mid-cleaning, send tweet-

[redtsundere-writes]

We need sukuna brutally murdering another servant because they put reader in a bad mood. ITS NOT A WANT ITS A NEED PLEASE

Blood Bath | Sukuna Ryomen

king!sukuna ryomen x femservant!reader

Sypnosis: The king needs to wash himself after defending his favorite servant. Contents: king x servant, kinda fluffy I guess, murder, a bit of humiliation, nudity. Word count: 2255 words. Author's note: Thanks for the request, anon! I was already writing this fic when I received your message, so it was a great add-in! Beginning. ← Previous | Next →

AO3/WATTPAD VERSION

Sukuna left the castle a week ago. He set out for distant lands to conquer villages, eat its people and spread the terror on his behalf. The absence of his presence was noticeable in the magnificent palace. Peace reigned in the spotless marble hallways, the quiet kitchen and the solitary great hall. Despite not having the pressure of everything being perfect, the servants were making sure the castle would shine for the king's return. The servants walked around at their leisure, pretending they owned the place. They ate at whatever time they wanted, lay down to rest on the lawn of the parade ground, and talked loudly about the rumors that have been surfacing about your relationship with the king.

Recently, it had come to your attention that you were Sukuna's favorite servant, but no one knew exactly why. The consensus had concluded that it was because you were his mistress. Sukuna used to lock himself in his room with you for hours at a time and always came out with a broad smile. The truth is that you didn't sleep with him, you just gave him massages, fixed his outfits and sometimes talked for hours. You tried several times to clear up the rumors, but no one believed you.

It was a rainy summer afternoon. You and a small group of servants were cleaning the great hall, the largest room in the castle. Surrounded by white concrete columns that rose to the ceiling, you sternly swept the red carpet that indicated the center. Diamond chandeliers softly lit the place, statues of the king stood tall and the beautiful hand-painted mural raised on the ceiling harmonized the entire room. The drops fell softly against the giant window in which the green outside could be admired.

“When do you think our king will return?” One servant asked the other as they cleaned the decorative torches that rested on steel bases around the perimeter.

“He won't be long, he has to come back to his mistress,” the other one joked. They both let out small, annoying laughs.

Those kinds of comments had become more recurrent as the days went by. You knew they did it on purpose. They raised their voices every time you entered the room or when you were about to go to sleep. None of the other servants seemed to want to intrude to keep what little peace they had. You slammed the broom down on the carpet hard to take out your frustration.

“How disgusting to be that monster's mistress, don't you think?” the other one asked. You could feel her piercing gaze on the back of your head, waiting for you to react to her uncalled-for comment.

“I know! I don't know how she can sleep with someone as creepy as our king,” she replied with disgust in her voice.

Those two had crossed the line. You firmly grabbed the broomstick to confront them about their lousy topic of conversation. You approached them at a steady pace, dragging the broomstick in case you needed it as a weapon to defend yours and your king’s honor.

“That's enough!” you scolded. “I don't sleep with our king! Besides, he may be a monster, but thanks to him, we can eat fresh food, sleep in comfortable beds and live in a magnificent palace! If I were you, I'd stop barking, bitches!” You exploded after such a long time of having to put up with their out-of-place comments.

“Shut up! You're only defending him because you're his favorite whore!” One of them exclaimed, throwing the feather duster in her face.

“Yeah, shut the fuck up, who-!”

A fine cut echoed throughout the great hall. A large splash of blood fell on your face, blinding you for a couple of seconds. The slight gasp of surprise from the other servants left you speechless. You dropped the broom to scrub your eyes. What had happened? You backed up in desperation until you ran into a wall that wasn't there before. After a crack, it all made sense. You looked up to see Sukuna's sharp jaw. Dried blood tainted his skin, his breath was cut short from exhaustion. He was back home after conquering another empire successfully. 

“Does anyone have anything else to say?” Sukuna asked the other servants, who were kneeling before him, giving him a warm welcome.

You knew you should kneel, but seeing the lifeless bodies of what used to be your gossiping companions made your body freeze. Their heads had been cut in half and the rest of their bodies were shattered. What used to be two women were now small pools of blood and bones. Sukuna had erased their existence with just a couple of his fingers. It was a scene you never thought your eyes would see in the flesh. That would be your fate if you did not obey your master's orders.

“This is a reminder that I can get rid of you just as quickly,” he threatened. His thick voice echoed off the walls. “If I hear that you even dare to speak blasphemies about me or one of your companions, I will not hesitate to kill you. Do you understand?” The servants, still kneeling, said, “Yes, my king,” in unison. 

Coming out of your state of shock, you turned around to kneel at his feet. Sukuna looked at your small figure compared to him. He had heard how you had defended his honor in the face of annoying accusations. He knew you were a good servant, but now you had proven to him that you were loyal. 

“Welcome home, my king,” you greeted in a trembling voice. Your body was still processing the murder your eyes had witnessed. 

“Draw me a bath,” he ordered, brushing past your greeting. 

“Yes, my king.”

You ran as fast as possible to his room to get there before him. Luckily, you had cleaned the bathroom thoroughly the day before, so everything was ready for the king to relax properly. You turned on the faucet to fill the tub with hot water, sprinkled scented bath salts, filled the water with bubbles and lit a few candles to romance the atmosphere. Sukuna soon arrived. Without a word, he began to undress as usual. Obediently, you stood in front of the wall to give her privacy.

“Since when?” He asked you as he untied the knots of his garments and let them fall to the floor. You could only hear the fabric sliding down his Herculean body.

“I don't understand the question, my king,” you answered confused, looking at the wall full of green tiles.

“How long have they been bothering you?” Sukuna completed the question while analyzing your figure from behind. He could tell you were nervous in his presence. It was the first time you saw him kill someone, it must have made quite an impression on you.

“Since a couple of months ago,” you answered.

“Why didn't you tell me?” Sukuna entered the bathtub, which was already bubbling. You closed the bath faucet and approached a stool to begin the most complicated task, washing his hair.

“I didn't want to waste your time.” You prepared the utensils: a sponge, a small wooden bowl and glass bottles filled with the hair products.

“You don't dictate what I do with my time,” he replied sternly.

Sukuna stepped into the tub so you could easily reach his head, drowning his torso into the soapy water. With the help of a soft sponge, you wet his pale pink hair, taking care that the water did not enter his ears. The king closed his eyes, letting himself be carried away by the pleasant sensation after a week of consecutive massacres. Untangling his short hair with a wooden comb, avoiding pulling too much so as not to hurt him. You placed the shampoo directly on his head and massaged the product into the roots.

Sukuna hummed happily every time your fingers gently stroked his scalp. You were so gentle with him even though he was the worst monster ever. You scratched, stroked and massaged his skull to your heart's content. While you let the product work, you focused on his broad shoulders. Your hands roamed his upper body calmly and patiently. The king was tired from having fought day after day and night after night to leave his name high as the greatest conqueror, you could tell by how tense his skin was.

“Answer me a question,” Sukuna asked with his eyes closed.

“As many as you wish, my king.”

“Are you loyal to me because you are afraid of me or because I am powerful?” He asked firmly.

“Both. I am afraid of you because you are powerful,” you replied as you took the bowl of water to rinse his hair.

Sukuna smiled in satisfaction with your answer. That's why you were his favorite servant. You are a perfectionist, shrewd and perceptive. You always managed to surprise him in a different way every time. Something no woman had ever managed to do before. Sukuna twisted his torso to face you. Your face and your white clothes were inked with the blood of your companions. He couldn't let you work like that, after all, it's his fault you were stained.

“Take off your clothes and come in,” he ordered.

“What?” You asked, shocked.

“You're dirty. Come in. I won't repeat myself,” Sukuna demanded.

You nodded and started to undress before his eyes. He had seen hundreds of women undress before. He knows what a pair of striking breasts, sexy hips and long legs look like, but even so, he was mesmerized as he watched you unfold before his eyes. Each garment slid down your body delicately, your hairs bristled from the change in temperature and your nipples stood erect at the lustfulness. No one but your mother had ever seen you naked. You had never been with a man, let alone a monster as imposing as he was.

Sukuna held out his hand to help you into the large tub. You sat in front of him and covered your breasts with the glistening bubbles that floated around you. He took one of the sponges and soaked it with soap to gently clean your face. The now dried blood came off easily. His black claws sometimes scratched your cheeks, but you could tell he was trying to be as gentle as possible with your beautiful face.

“It's not necessary, I can do it myself,” you asked, trying to take the sponge from him.

“I can wash my own hair too, but I prefer you to do it. Let me do it,” he replied before filling the bowl with water and wetting your hair.

He repeats the same process as you. The warm water, the closeness of your bodies and his hands taking care of your hair, transported you to fantasies where you had a relationship beyond king-servant. They were romantic ideas of a Sukuna you didn't quite know. A Sukuna who hugged you every time he saw you, who gave you head pats every time you did something right, and who sat you on his wide lap, demanding attention.

Someone knocked on the door, to which Sukuna allowed access. It was Uraume, who had just heard that the king had returned and what had happened with the reckless maids. What they did not expect was to see you in the bathtub next to his majesty, but even so, they decided not to ask details of how they had come to that situation.

“Welcome home, your majesty.” Uraume bowed from the doorway. “Dinner is ready. You must be hungry after the long journey.”

“I'll be there in a minute,” Sukuna answered. Uraume bowed again and left the room.

“They won't say anything,” Sukuna assured you before getting out of the tub. You were about to get out to give him his towel too, but he stopped you. “The water is still hot, it would be a shame to waste it,” he said before taking the towel and wrapping it around his waist.

“It's my job to do it,” you said.

“Your job is to obey me,” he dictated seriously. You sat back down in the tub and nodded. “Good girl,” he said with a satisfied smile before leaving the bathroom.

Sukuna returned to the bathroom and looked in his closet for what he would wear to dinner. He glanced into the bathroom from time to time to observe you. A small naked human wrapped in the ethereal steam of her innocence. He could have any woman in the world. Why was his mind obsessed with your beauty, your words, and your docility? He didn't know exactly, but he was sure you were completely his, so he didn’t have anything to worry about.

You stood alone with your thoughts in the elegant bath. You plunged your body into the water, submerging your head in the bubbles. Heads cut in half, his big hands stroking your hair, brains strewn across the carpet, his gentle touch as he washed your face. The quick, deep images made you feel confused. Your head went back up to the surface as you realized you were short of breath. You brushed your wet hair back to take a deep breath. What were you doing? Where were you? What kind of person were you serving? Sukuna confused you with his actions, and now you didn't know what to do with your poor heart beating a mile a minute for him.

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Masterlist.

[kayesfanfics]

Can you please write an Alucard oneshot where he catches the reader after they fall while trying to clean something high up.

“How can we not find a single broom in this castle?” You wondered aloud as you looked for some sort of cleaning supplies. “Didn’t Dracula have people to clean for him or something?”

“He probably stopped caring about his living state.” Adrian said bluntly, tone unreadable as he opened random doors along the hall the two of you were walking along. You had just said farewell to Trevor and Sypha not too long ago, sending them on their way. You had chosen to stay behind with Adrian to clean up the castle and hold, as you and the pale dhampir had grown quite close over the course of your adventure to kill his father. After giving him a couple nights to process what had happened, he was ready to help you clean the castle and return it to its pristine state.

“Ah! The maids quarters!” You shouted to him after opening a door and seeing things like brooms, buckets, feather dusters, stuff like that. He followed you into the room, helping you gather the things you would need. Adrian carried a long ladder and the heavy stuff, while you picked up the smaller items and bars of soap to scrub the floor with. The two of you went back to the entrance of the castle, where it was an absolute mess from the large fight between the four of you and Dracula’s Court. Adrian began to use his inhuman strength to toss boards of wood outside, while you swept up the dust and wood splinters behind him. Some of the drapes had been knocked off their bars holding them up towards the ceiling, and they would need to be put back up to get out of the way of cleaning. You went to [ick up the ladder, not realizing how heavy and sturdy was, and barely able to lift it up.

“Need some help?” Adrian’s playful voice spoke up behind you, chuckling as he watched you struggle with the ladder.

“Please! Don’t just sit there and watch!” You pouted as he laughed at your feeble attempt, but he walked over and picked up the ladder with ease, asking you where you wanted it. You pointed to a bare spot on the wall where a curtain used to be, grabbing one off the floor and hauling it over to the ladder. Adrian held the ladder for you and you walked up it, curtain in hand to put it back in its place.

You stood up as high as the ladder would let you, Adrian warning you to be careful. You rolled your eyes at his comment, waving his concerns off as you stood on the highest step to put the curtain back in place. Adrian worriedly offered to put them up instead of you, but you declined, telling him you were very much capable of doing this task. You put up the next few curtains just fine, Adrian slowly calming down and worrying less about you. But on the very last one, you twisted your ankle when your boot caught on a step, causing you to topple over. You braced yourself for impact with the floor, instead feeling something soft catch you during your landing. You opened your eyes and looked up at Adrian’s bright gold eyes, full of concern and worry as he held you close to him.

“Are you alright?” He asked, brows furrowing as he set you down and put his hands on your shoulders.

“I’m fine! You caught me!” You said as he checked you over for any sign of injury.

“Well, dammit, Y/N! This is why I said it would be better for me to put up the curtain! What if I wasn’t here to catch you? Your human body would’ve cracked if you hit the floor! Think of the broken bones! A concussion! Death!” He rambled on and on as you huffed, walking past him to pick up a broom. “I’m not finished!”

“I am.”

[spooky-bunnys]

Title: The Fire Daredevil PART 1

Fandom: Tokyo Revengers

Pairing: Shinichiro x M.Reader

Warnings/Notes: The first part of this was written by my friend @caffine-goth-moth, and I'm writing this small series for his graduation present since I can't do anything else for him.

In the Sano household everyone is waking up to the sound of running, cleaning bottles being squirt on every surface, window wiping and brooms being swept on every floor.

Mikey being the one who loves to sleep, is annoyed and wakes up to see his older brother Shinichiro cleaning the entire house like a mad man, he’s covered in sweat, and desperation.

“Dude it’s 5 in the morning why are you up….and acting like a germaphobe?” Shinichiro who has a feather duster in his mouth, cleaning a window with one hand and scrubbing the floor with his foot stops and looks at Mikey and muffles something, “what?” Mikey is just staring at Shinichiro more confused than before.

Shinichiro who spits out the feather duster “my boyfriend is coming over I gotta make sure the house is spotless” he resumes to cleaning.

Everyone else is awake to the cleaning noise, Grandpa sano who was busy doing his crossword puzzle, rolls up the newspaper and whacks Shinichiro over the head “damn you Shinichiro your siblings and friends are trying to sleep, I’m trying to do my crossword puzzle."

Shinichiro covers his head to avoid getting hit, “okay okay I’m sorry it’s just I really want to make a good impression on my boyfriend he’s coming over and I can’t mess it up?”

“You have a boyfriend?!” Said Emma

Benkei (the only one with logic) who is looking soo confused “your boyfriend shouldn’t worry if the house is clean, you just have to make sure it isn’t messy….like your room."

Shinichiro then gasp realizing his room isn’t clean, he carries every cleaning supplies he has, and runs to his room.

Everyone just sighs and shakes his head, then they hear the doorbell ring.

Grandpa sano opens the door, (Name) who is dressed in his daredevil jacket uniform bows to grandpa sano in respect “good morning is Shinichiro sano here?”

Before grandpa sano can respond, everyone is greeted with Mikey, draken and baji screaming and yelling “IT’S (NAME) (LAST NAME) AKA THE FIRE DAREDEVIL!”

The screaming cause Shinichiro who was still cleaning to drop everything and running thinking Mikey and the others got here “I’M HERE WHOS HURT?”

(Name) immediately gasps and throws himself in Shinichiro's arms. "BABE! I'VE MISSES YOU!" The others could only watch frozen as Shinichiro soaked in the kisses given to him.

The first one to move was Mikey who almost completely jumped onto the couple if not for Draken who grabbed his gang leader just in time. Shinichiro smiled widely, loving the affection being given to him. "(Name)! I knew you'd be here early but I didn't think you'd be here until at least 6 or 7! Its not even 5:30 in the morning!"

(Name) smiled sheepishly and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. "Well I remember you saying you wish you could come to my race one day. So I got my old man to invite you and your family to my race today!" Before Shinichiro could politely refuse, he was interrupted by his little brother and friends.

"Holy shit! Mikey you're brother is dating THE (NAME)! THE FIRE DAREDEVIL IS DATING YOUR BROTHER!" Baji roughly shook the once again frozen Mikey. Draken's jaw was on the floor again. "Y-You're inviting us to your race! Holy-" Draken joined in on shaking Mikey.

Benkei who had started to feel bad for the younger Sano male pulled him away. "Listen guys. He said Shin and his family. Not family and friends. So we wouldn't be able to join them anyways." The other two males sulk while Mikey breaking out of his thoughts cheered.

(Name) had turned towards the commotion and tilts his head. "You guys can come too. I don't have much family besides my dad and cousin. So my sponsor box is usually quite empty. But if you guys want to go to my race we'll need to head out now!"

Shinichiro couldn't get a say in anything because afyer that (Name) was ripped out of his arms by excited teenagers and even his own friends. As (Name) was dragged out by the teens and his overly excited grandfather. Benkei patted his back. "I just texted Wakasa and Takeomi. They'll be meeting us there." Shinichiro groaned loudly.

[niiwa-angel]

Winged characters in Hazbin Hotel have so much potential.

Charlie and Vaggie are getting ✨spicy✨ and Charlie tries to lean against Veggies back to touch her or whatever and all of a sudden-

WOOSH

She just flings Charlie across the room by accident because she was excited and she's forgotten that she has to control how they move.

Or Husk accidently knocking over all the bottles on the shelf behind the bar because he just kind of forgets how big they are.

Or Zestial using his wings to wrap Carmilla and the girls in to protect them from the acid rain. The four of them are out and it starts raining a little bit and the three girls just end up under his wings. Like it's no big deal, they're just there now.

Alastor is bothering Lucifer, just being his general annoying self when Lucifer brings out all six of his wings, jumps up and throws a burst of air at Alastor, knocking him off his feet.

Valentino using his wings to protect Velvette from the wind when they go out so her hair doesn't get messed up.

Or covering Vox when it's windy so his screen doesn't get dusty.

Husk learning the beauty of having his wings preened and properly taken care of by Lucifer and Vaggie, who spent their lives around other winged people who know how to care for them.

Nifty making feather dusters out of Husk, Vaggie, and Lucifer feathers when they're molting. She makes brooms too. And feather clothes for her roaches to wear during her puppet shows.

Velvette making wing attire and modeling them on Val.

Zestial using his wings as a fan to cool himself off when it's hot.

Bee using her wings to dry off Tex when he gets out of the pool.

Verosika being the big spoon when she and Blitz were dating because she'd shift her wings in her sleep and they would scratch his chest.

Fat Nuggets using Husks wings as a blanket. Angel has tons of pictures of that, he loves them.

Adam and Lute wrapping their wings around each other.

Emily clinging to Sera's wings so her big sister will carry her places.

Lucifer letting Baby Charlie climb his wings.

Lucifer using his wings to hold Baby Charlie and Lilith close to him while they're sleeping.

[valsdelulucorner]

Can you please do Barbatos Head cannons? That would be brilliant.

of course! I dont normally do stuff for barbatos so i hope everything turns out the way you like

Barbatos head cannons<3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He really appreciates you if you ask if you could help clean or bake, he may be a all powerful demon but even then sometimes things can get to much for one person. If your having a feast at the demon lords castle and decide to help clean up, he will insist that you are a guest and don't need to help but he really does appreciate the extra hands

Ok hear me out, Barbatos doesn't mind physical touch but he also has boundaries. If you hold onto his arm, shoulder or hand, he wont mind much if you be respectful about it. To be completely honest with you I dont really see Barbs as the physically affectionate type. He is more into words of affirmation and acts of service. He doesn't mind kisses with a lover he truly trusts but other then that, I dont really see him as a man of touch

I feel like he likes to take you on cafe dates if you guys ever do start dating. Even if your just friends, he likes to take you on Cafe trips and Coffee runs. He likes more calm Cafes over those loud, always busy cafes. He loves bringing you to these places to just talk over a warm drink for a hour or two, he just likes to wind down with you for a hour before bringing a coffee back up for Diavolo. If he runs into you during a coffee run for the brothers, he will gladly chat with you in line and wait with you for your coffees.

He likes inviting you over for tea, weather it is only him or if its with Diavolo. He will make afew little cakes and nibble bits for you to enjoy while you both sip on tea and talk about the day. He feels happy and calm during this time, its his little time to unwind and speak his frustrations and his feelings to you. Its always a pleasure having you over for tea, the gardens always seems to look a little nicer with you

I love the head cannon that he will randomly call you in the middle of the night if there is a massive rat in the castle. While you sleepily head into the Castle kitchen, you see him pushing is body into the corner of the ceiling with that small smile he always wears as a rat eats some fruit on the counter. ".....Barbatos honey....." "Good evening Mc, sorry to wake you but i seem to be in abit of a predicament" "......You want me to get rid of the rat?" ""Burn it with fire if you must Mc". He will make you some tea afterwards as payment of putting the rat outside, though he would of thought it would of been more practical for you to kill it but putting it outside works too

He would call you "MC" "My dear" and "My sweet"

If Barbatos gets to busy with work or falls behind abit, he will shift into his demon form and use his tail as a extra hand. Hes arranging some meeting for the young master? His tail will be sorting and arranging paperwork for him to do. Hes folding and putting away clothes? His tail will be holding onto a feather duster or a broom so he can clean around him while he does the laundry. He's baking goods for the young master? His tail is stirring the mixture while he prepares the oven and a baking tray. He uses his tail as a extra arm whenever things get to busy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Im so sorry its so short, I actually haven't done much on barbatos and I dont really know alot about his character so if i get anything wrong, please tell me

Who should i do next?

[the-californicationist]

Good Fences (Fluffuary #02)

FEB02: A Bit of Banter

You were outside of his window again, wearing the most ridiculous sleep shorts he’d ever seen in his goddamn life. And by ridiculous, he meant downright tantalizing. Sure, they were highlighter pink and had little hearts on the pockets, but they may as well have been transparent. As you bent over to move your potted plants away from his half of the balcony, he could see… everything.

At the plump, delightful join of your shapely legs, the outline of your adorable little pussy lips kept peeking between them, playing hide-and-seek with his unblinking line of sight and making him sincerely doubt his self-control.

You had insisted, of course, that John needed to take ownership of his half of the outside porch. You had lived there for so long that you had acquired a veritable forest of houseplants. He liked it. The greenery was nice. It was such a departure from most of the living spaces he found himself in, and watching you bend over to pick up fallen leaves or check the soil for its water content was a hell of a bonus. 

He knew he shouldn’t bother you. He’d let himself fall into a terrible, almost insatiable crush. Your voice when you talked on the phone, the little songs you only knew three or four lines of in the shower, the smell of your cooking; he had let it consume him, and now he was hooked. John would make any excuse to be near you. You’d told him to just leave the empty pyrex he’d borrowed on the porch table, but he hadn’t. He’d waited, selfishly, until you were outside so he would be able to hand it back in person. Now, his opportunity had come.

The sliding door shuddered in its track as he climbed onto the balcony with you. You turned to look at him, and when you did, he was treated to the rest of your outfit. Your sweater was a little cropped, and it was full of large, crocheted holes so he could see your skin straight through them. You had a pale blue bralette, all lace and bows, covering your full breasts underneath, and he thought he might pass out from the blood loss. But, he controlled his face, and handed you back your baking dish,

“Ah!” You smiled, taking it from him, “Thanks! Hope you enjoyed the cookies.”

“Enjoyed? Ate them in one sitting, more like,” he chuckled, having a seat at the little round table that sat in the middle of the porch, and pulled out his cigar case. 

“I guess you’ll need another batch this weekend, then,” you winked, obviously joking. But, he looked at you and quite seriously said,

“I would pay money, love.”

You blushed, and he enjoyed watching it flood your cheeks. How badly he wanted to kiss them, to feel the soft flesh bend under the pressure of his mouth…

“Sorry about all the plants. I’ve been working on clearing off your side…” You started dragging another pot into your corner.

“Told you it was alright.”

He lit his cigar, and watched you carefully. You had finally moved all the plants out of his side and had pulled out the broom to sweep it off. 

“Can’t have you cleanin’ for me too, love,” he moved to stop you.

“It’s my mess, John. But, I make a pretty decent maid.”

There was a twinkle in his eye when he responded to your comment,

“Mmm. Bet you look pretty good in the outfit,” he laughed when you narrowed your eyes at him, trying to hold back your own laugh as you swept off the stray soil, “Little feather duster?” He mimicked the dusting motion at you and let the smoke billow out around his beard. 

“You’re going to need to hire a real maid if you keep leaving those ashes all over my table,” you shot back, teasing him. 

He feigned injury, pouting a bit, 

“I’ll buy an ashtray, love, don’t worry. C’mon. Don’t you like a smoke every now and then?”

You shrugged, sitting across from him, resting after your chores,

“Never had one. Not a big cigar like that anyway.”

“Think it’s big, huh?” He cocked a sly smile, knowing he was being rude.

You rolled your eyes, but gave him a soft laugh anyway.

He handed it to you, and you admired the glowing ember at its tip. You had to admit, the scent was wonderfully complex, and you had accidentally trained yourself, like Pavlov’s dog, to respond when you smelled it outside. It meant he was around…

“Don’t inhale into your chest. Just pull it into your mouth, and then let it fall away slowly. It’s meant to be relaxing.”

You tried to follow his directions and he grinned with no small amount of satisfaction.

“It’s nice,” you admitted, handing it back to him. 

“You should let me cook for you. Gotta pay you back for all those cookies somehow,” he offered, staring out into the vanilla sky as the sun tucked itself behind the cloud. 

“Mmm,” you smiled, leaning back in your chair and looking out into the sunset with him, “Not sure if it’s safe. You might be a murderer, you know?”

“I might be…” He took another long drag, and there was something in his tone that gave you pause, but he smirked, so he was clearly joking around. 

“You don’t seem very motivated,” you shrugged, “It’s been two weeks, and I’m still breathing. Or, maybe you’re terrible at it?”

He cut his eyes over to you and burst out laughing. You laughed with him, not exactly knowing what was so funny. But, being with him was intoxicating, and you were having a hard time staying away. Laughing together like this felt like a dream.

John finally caught his breath and nodded,

“That’s true. You could make it easier on me by coming to dinner tomorrow. We could eat out here,” he winked, “For your safety.”

“Yeah,” you shrugged, pulling your sweater a little tighter around your shoulders, “That sounds nice.”

“Great,” he took another long, enticing drag of smoke, “It’s a date.”

Check out the schedule here.

AO3 Link

[cyb-by-lang]

remembering that Kei cleans when stressed:

Bruce comes home one day to find Tim in the main hall with his head tilted back to stare at the high ceiling, munching on some chips as he does so. A few towels are placed on the floor, and Tim moves them with his feet every few moments to catch falling dust and chips of old paint.

Muttered curses come from above, drawing Bruce's attention.

Their most recent guest has apparently raided the cleaning supplies, judging from the bucket of spray bottles, brushes, and dusters placed on the sill of a window only reachable by the tallest of their ladders (and one determined, ladder-less Dick Grayson). Kei, with bright yellow gloves, a flowery apron Bruce knows to be Alfred's, a bandana keeping her bangs out of her face and another wrapped around her mouth and nose, has stuck herself to the ceiling (again) and wields a push broom with the same ferocity and finesse as she does a blade. Her face is pink with the blood pooling there from however long she's been upside down, and her mouth is pressed into a grimace as she tackles the years of dust and cobwebs Alfred could never quite reach.

Bruce looks to Tim, raising a single brow.

Tim shrugs with a grin. "She's a little stressed." He moves a towel just in time to catch a bundle of withered cobweb that floats down.

Bruce glances back up at Kei. "I see," he says, lips twitching. He raised his voice to her, asking, "Alfred hasn't left anything else for you to clean, has he?"

"How the hell does he do it?" Kei asks, scrubbing at a corner near a window, and Tim rushes to move a towel. "This fucking place is huge and he's one guy, but no, the rest of the manor is fucking spotless at all times. Sneaky son of a--"

"You could just ask," Tim suggests. "He wouldn't mind sharing some chores, right?"

Kei snaps her head to glare at him, and Bruce almost laughs at the idea of Alfred willingly allowing a guest to do housework. But, judging from how Kei battles the dust bunnies into submission as though bearing a personal grudge, maybe Alfred would make an exception.

Apparently satisfied with this section of the ceiling, Kei holds the broom out in a gesture before dropping it into Bruce's waiting hand.

"Does he have any wood polish?" she asks, studying the aged wooden vaults and accents. "This could do with some touching-up."

Tim exchanges a look with Bruce, his face split in a grin. "I think Alfred's gonna miss her the most."

This is one of the cutest things I've ever laid eyes upon in my inbox. Ahhh, I love it when people remember and take note of these kinds of fun character quirks, especially for comedy. And for fun character interactions.

And coincidentally, I was just talking to Beta the other day about how Wayne Manor is way too big to have only one staff member and that the Bats had better all have chore lists a mile long to help their grandpa with the house. In every continuity.

Mind if I link to this when I post the next chapter?

EDIT: Permission was granted. :)

[supremeb1tch8783]

Something I find really funny as I revisit Black Butler is Sebastian’s character.

It’s been years since the last anime arc release, and an arc that’s animated as a full season rather than a movie. And I haven’t kept up with the manga as much because I will binge read and so I like to let ongoing series rack up chapters and preferably finish whatever arc they’re in so I don’t have to be left on a cliffhanger for a month.

But that’s neither here nor there. Onto Sebastian Michaelis! I’ll be brief!

I find him so absolutely funny because as we see from his cinematic record in the Book of Atlantic, and later as they showed us the specifics of how their contract was formed, he kinda sorta fr hated “Ciel” and found him to be punitive human not worth anything other than a potentially delicious meal lol. He wanted his soul for sure, and he came forth upon Ciels cries because he recognized a high quality meal, but he a) didn’t expect the job to go on for so long, b) didn’t know his new master wanted to do all the investigating rather just letting him run off and kill everyone and return to eat him, and most hilariously c) he didn’t think his new master would expect and demand of him to do a butlers job in a more “human” fashion.

Things like cleaning each room with dusters and brooms, etc. or cooking food step by step rather than just waving a hand and it all being done.

But what I find so funny is that despite him being a demon, and us seeing that very often, him voicing his thoughts on how pathetic and futile a humans life or goals or aspirations to be, he has found some actual pleasure in doing things the human way.

And it’s pointed out so obviously in the pride he takes in being like “ah yes, the linens are all perfectly pressed, dinner is exquisitely prepared, I was able to do XYZ for the Funtom Company, truly I am the best butler to ever butler,” rather than the “best demon to ever act like a butler”

Like he’s lost in his role, the method acting is so strong I wonder if he realizes.

And what’s even funnier is when he’s interrupted. Cuz he’ll be in the zone getting preparations done, having the butler aesthetic going on and then Bard, Meyrin, or Finny will do some off the cuff nonsense and he’s pulled away from what he was doing, like god dammit! I was JUST whisking the meringue to the perfect consistency but now I have to replant our entire greenhouse garden. Etc.

Like he really started out so feral and petty with Ciel when he started, loathing being a butler, finding it annoying, not thinking he was gonna have to do it for over 3 years and now he’s here acting as mother, father, teacher, uncle, aunt, daycare instructor, and on occasion male prostitute to perform his duties as butler to the queens guard dog.

He’s still feral for sure, but there’s a sorta domesticated feeling I get when I look at him being such a loyal demon servant. And he doesn’t hate all humans, he can still find their lives otherwise short and pointless, but he’s respectful in a real meaningful way to people like Tanaka, Agni or even Elizabeth, and despite being a demon the chivalry he’ll show at times is sincere, and once again, he’s been there for so long. It cracks me up sometimes.

Anyways, rant over <3

[edges-of-night]

･ﾟ♡ A domestic life with Gandalf would include...

✧ probably a sweet little cottage in the Shire, secluded but not too far from Hobbit neighbours

✧ Gandalf surprising you every day with something cute and magical because of how enamoured he is with you

✧ him helping you build a garden for all your berry and vegetable needs – you’ll learn to grow giant pumpkins in no time

✧ enchanted household items – no need to ever pick up a broom or duster yourself ever again!

✧ (still, with its countless books, chests, trinkets, and so on, your place is an absolute mess to outsiders – to you, it’s home)

✧ entertaining yourselves by inventing increasingly crazy riddles for each other

✧ singing little melodies together (that Gandalf will hum to himself forever)

✧ you bringing him his favourite tea when he’s been sitting over his books and maps for hours yet again, and him thanking you with the warmest smile, perhaps even a kiss! ♡

✧ him placing little fireworks over the breakfast and cakes he prepares for you

✧ long evenings with Bilbo on your porch, equally philosophical and silly!

✧ you and Gandalf going to fun parties, bringing lots of fireworks and dancing until sunlight

✧ him sending your favourite butterfly toward you when you’ve been working all day

✧ him pretending he doesn’t want to go to the market with you even though he loves nothing more

✧ sitting on your porch together under a huge, fluffy blanket, watching the stars and their legendary constellations with your head resting on his shoulder