#the burnout antidote

[so-this-is-my-blog-i-guess]

I bought this a couple of months ago. Seemed appropriate. I knew, though, that I’d have to read it with intention and a relatively calm mind. And Evelyn Wood did me no favors. (Yeah, I’m that old.)

Everything I do has an inner dialogue going on (and it is a dialogue, not a monologue), so I have to silence that in order to get anything out of this. I miss a lot, whether it’s reading, watching tv/movies, or simply trying to give anything a sincere level of attention… even when I try. That dialogue inside just keeps nagging and judging. As time passes, it has caused me more issues. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Hoping for a lot from this, and the first bit I’ve read is already delivering.

👍🏻

[exhaustedwerewolf]

I know as a folky queer protest singer she doesn’t have a huge following and sadly probably never will but Grace Petrie’s The Losing Side just came on shuffle and God. I just adore it so much… It’s bizarrely such an antidote to activist/empathy burnout and hopelessness. Maybe because it actually acknowledges the weight of living with fear everyday and the horror of seeing progress undone whilst still promising the possibility of a better future. (There’s a better world // And on a quiet day // When I hold my breath // I can hear her say // She’s on her way.) It’s neither doom and gloom nor “good must triumph over evil!” It doesn’t talk down like that. There’s no promise of a win in the end, that’s right there in the title. But, without romanticising defeat, it reminds you why you’re on what often feels like The Losing Side.

[kwindsbell]

Disagreement

- Original by me

I'm very silent and still.

I keep my calm and seem chill.

But for some reason it's not enough.

I gotta be quiet as quiet can be,

And whatever we argued, silently agree.

Made a slow move and was caught red- -handed.

Now, filled with empty words, left stranded.

Screams because I'm helping,

Yells because I don't.

How unfortunate is this evening?

Maybe it really is better to stay alone.

Day in, Day out

I'm feeling burnout.

How does one atone,

For something that wasn't done?

The pillow's already drenched.

Whether it's in blood or tears, it matters not.

Since the future my hands once grasped

Has already rot.

What's left of this, is the knot on the throat.

That has yet to find an antidote.

Please be kind. Stop blaming what's false.

I'm just trying to reach out,

But everything done gets misunderstood.

Just like a never-ending confusing waltz.

Therefore, there's no reason in looking good.

As it's the same as talking to a plank of wood!

[alma-ayon]

Through my walks in nature this autumn, I learned valuable lessons about life and about myself. Contemplating the forest gave me peace; painting the autumn leaves became a moving meditation, each brushstroke a reflection on the ephemeral beauty of existence. Watching the river, with its constant flow, reminded me that change is the only constant in life. This journey and learning became my personal digital detox, an antidote against burnout, and a strategy to find inner calm. Sharing these experiences is like opening a window to my soul, inviting others to find peace in nature, creativity in art, and serenity in living slowly.

[shiningstarr15]

Hi!! Here's a request if you're interested! Maybe we could see some Yelena taking care of Natasha...maybe Natasha has a nightmare and wants Yelena to hold her (since it's usually the other way around) but she feels embarrassed so she tries to cover up her clinginess, but Yelena figures it out and assures her that Yelena wants to comfort Natasha just as much as Natasha comforts Yelena

Feel free to change this around or just completely ignore it lol, either way I'm in love with your stories and super excited for what'll happen next!!

Hii thanks so much for your request! I really did enjoy this one even though it took me about a week to write it fully 😅 I really hope that you like what came out and hopefully it makes sense since it was written out in pieces. (I work in a school and fall break is approaching so my body is going into early burnout lol)

Hope you enjoy!

And once again, I can’t write short stories to save my life 😬

TW- PTSD, minor injury, implied past abuse

Word count- 3,980

———————————————————————

It was at least a quarter til noon when the blonde assassin started to stir.

Yelena slowly opened her eyes, stretching her arms a little to the side and letting out a low groan before flopping her arms back down. She was very tempted to just pull the covers over her head.

Between going back and forth from being a leader of the quest to free all the remaining widows, and playing off the stereotypical annoying little sister to the one Natasha Romanoff, Yelena was exhausted.

Of course, it was no secret which role she preferred.

As happy as she was to be helping free the widows from the mind control that sapped away their freedom and free will, and the joy she felt giving that to them was unparalleled, there was still the more selfish side that wanted to make up for the childhood that she lost. The one she should’ve had with her family. The one she wanted with her sister. .

And now she had a second chance at it.

Yelena grinned a tiny grin as she decided to yank the covers off her and get ready for the day. It was pretty late even for her but she didn’t have any missions for a hot minute while Melina whipped up another batch of the antidote. So she had plenty of time to just be the annoying sister she was always destined to be.

After brushing her teeth Yelena bounded her way into the front room to greet her favorite sister with a smile on her face.

When she got to the front of the safe house she spotted her sister, sluggishly making a pot of coffee.

Natasha turned her head a bit to offer her sister a small grin.

And Yelena immediately knew something was off.

Natasha’s entire body was stiff and sluggish, their were dark bags under her eyes from where she had obviously lost sleep at some point, and the grin on her face was way too forced.

And if Yelena wasn’t a trained assassin, she may have missed the ever so slight flinch from Natasha when she heard Yelena bounding in the room.

Yelena’s mood immediately flattened as she took in the stoic stature of someone who was clearly just going through the motions, as she realized that the person in front of her was not her sister Natasha.

But of her persona, the Black Widow.

“Morning, Lena” Natasha practically slurred in a very monotone voice.

Yelena slumped, taking note of the lack of inflection in her sister’s voice. A clear indication that something was off. However, she still had chose to address her with one of her endearing nicknames. This didn’t go unnoticed.

Therefore, the blonde assumed that perhaps her sister was just in a bad mood, and decided she just needed to cheer her up.

Cue the endearing yet annoying little sister.

“You know, it isn’t really morning anymore if it’s only a few minutes til noon, poser,” Yelena quipped back, mischief radiating from her eyes scanning for her sister’s reaction.

However, Natasha’s face remained stoic and expressionless as she responded

“Oh yea. You’re right, sorry. Good afternoon,” Natasha corrected herself. She gave her sister a tiny grin but other than that didn’t make any other remark.

Now Yelena was worried.

Never in a million years would she just admit that her baby sister was right about something. It was the unwritten code of the sister handbook. The big sister was always right, even when she was wrong.

So she decided to change tactics.

Yelena padded softly over to where Natasha was busying herself with pouring a bowl of cereal, no doubt being for her. She stood behind her and slowly wrapped her arms around her sisters waist, gingerly placing her chin on Natasha’s shoulder and peering over it. Natasha’s tension melted ever so slightly but she was still obviously stiff.

Yelena cocked her head a little to the side, her golden greens gazing into Natasha’s own pools of emerald. The blonde immediately noticed how that natural sparkle in her eyes was not present. They just looked… empty.

Yelena felt her heart crack at the sight of her big sister looking so void of emotion. She hadn’t seen her this closed off since their impromptu reunion back in Budapest just a few weeks ago. And even then, there was still some spark behind those cold peering eyes when she laid them onto her.

Yelena watched as the cereal fell from the box into the bowl. As Natasha reached over to grab the milk, Yelena put her arm out to stop her.

“I don’t want milk in it.”

It was a cheap move that was sure to backfire. Even in her worst state, Natasha’s big sister instincts had to kick in to make sure she wasn’t deprived of nutrients.

“Ok then, here.”

Not a fight to be had.

Yelena shoved herself away from her sister’s grasp and just gaped at her, her eyes widened in fear and worry. Natasha’s stance stiffened back up as her own eyes widened a little at the quick action.

“Ok, who are you and what have you done with my sister?” Yelena questioned. It was a playful inquiry but her position remained completely serious. She truly did not know this person in front of her right now.

Natasha remained neutral, standing there slightly slumped over with the bowl of dry cereal. She pursed her lips into a thin line, cocking her head a bit like a confused puppy.

“What are you talking about? I’m right here.” Natasha deadpanned. Yelena looked at her with bewilderment.

“No. My sister wouldn’t just stand there and let me be a smartass to her freely and she definitely wouldn’t let me eat just sugar.” Yelena took a step forward, her eyes staring at Natasha’s frozen, unreadable expression.

“What’s going on?”

Natasha’s face softened ever so slightly and Yelena could see that she was starting to get to her to crack. However, Natasha just swiftly turned her back to Yelena, a move that left her a little dazed.

“Nothing is wrong, Yelena. I’m just having an off kind of morning. I’ll be fine ok?” Natasha’s voice sounded sincere but also fake at the same time. Yelena bit her lip, trying to think of how to respond. She knew something was wrong with her sister, yet she had no idea how to help her.

And it frustrated her to no end.

“Fine. Be that way.” Yelena spat out in her frustration, finally just taking the bowl and marching off towards the couch. Natasha just remained in her same position standing over the counter.

With her sister’s back turned to her, Natasha leaned a little against the counter. Fighting back tears that were threatening to spill from her eyes. She closed them tightly and focused on her breathing. After a minute or so, she turned around to look at her sister. She was leaning against the arm of the couch, her feet propped up as she vicariously popped little bites of cereal into her mouth. Natasha couldn’t see the expression on her face. She was kind of glad not to. She just knew it would not be a pleasant one.

After another few minutes, Yelena suddenly got up and headed back towards the kitchen. Natasha immediately threw her wall back up, feigning contentment. Meanwhile, her sister had a look of displeasure. As she put the empty bowl on the counter, she gave Natasha a once-over.

“Sorry.”

Yelena spoke in a near whisper. Natasha immediately felt her heart breaking knowing that her baby sister was distressed. She watched as Yelena just went back into the living area and sat down, arms crossed over her chest. She didn’t even attempt any kind of adoration.

So much for a good morning.

———————————

As the night fell, Yelena found herself curled up in the bed unable to sleep. Her eyes glazed over as she tried to process the days events. Despite the little morning snuggle that she gave Natasha earlier, Yelena hadn’t made any further attempts at physical affection. Which was unusual for the usually touch starved woman.

As much as she tried not to, Yelena found herself lost in her head, debating over and over whether or not Natasha’s unusual behavior was her doing or not. Had she finally taken it too far and Natasha was fed up with Yelena’s overly clingy behavior? Did she do or say something that was inappropriate or too immature? Yelena knew in the back of her mind that she was a big kid in an adult’s body. When your youth is taken from you at such a young age, you tend to regress back to those simpler days, and Yelena would give anything to be a six year old again.

Despite all of this however, Yelena also knew that she was in fact an adult. She was fluent in multiple languages, could drive or pilot any kind of transportation, was mastered in every fighting style and technique, and was knowledgeable in every weapon based on texture, style, and damage it could inhibit. In the Red Room, she quickly rose in the ranks, learning faster than any other girl that came through. Eventually she was dubbed the “world’s greatest child assassin,” a title she was unsure she should be proud of or disgusted by.

Yelena was seen as a leader. She lead in multiple missions for the Red Room, often garnering her praise from both handlers and other fellow widows. She had led the group of widows charged with retrieving the antidote for the Red Room before she was ultimately freed from mind control.

And now she was in charge of freeing the remaining widows.

If she were being totally honest, Yelena wasn’t sure how she felt about being a leader. On one hand, she appreciated the respect and discipline that came with being in charge. But on the other hand, there was a lot of pressure on her shoulders for delivering answers that she simply didn’t have. It was draining to watch the young girls awake, frightened and confused, and demanding answers. So much so that she often found herself regressing to that little girl she once was in Ohio.

Though she would never admit it, she tended to get embarrassed over how childlike she could revert to. From a badass assassin to a spoiled little kid in a matter of seconds. She wondered if being around her big sister had something to do with that.

When she was around Natasha, she didn’t have to be the strong badass assassin leader. She could simply just be the little sister. She trusted Natasha with her life and knew that whatever happened, she would keep her safe.

Yelena was shaken from her thoughts by the lump beside her starting to violently twitch. Yelena furrowed her brow, sitting up slightly and propping herself up on her elbows. Natasha was usually a pretty still sleeper, hardly even stirring to move positions. The only time she even flinched was when Yelena would drape her arm over her waist.

But now the redhead turned blonde was visibly shaking under the covers, her face contorted into that of utmost discomfort. Yelena felt panic rising in her, wanting so desperately to help her big sister but unsure how. She gingerly removed the covers from herself and maneuvered over to her sister’s shaking form. She slowly rose her arm and went to place it on her sister’s shoulder.

“Natashka?”

As soon her hand made contact, Yelena watched in horror as her sister sprung up and threw herself on top of her, making a swift grab for her neck.

Yelena noticed the wild and feral look in Natasha’s eyes as she lay there gasping for air. The look was icy cold and darkened. She realized in that moment that she was dealing with the Black Widow. Her hands made quick movement to try and dislodge the firm hold but they would not budge.

“Natasha! S-stop! It’s..m-me..” Yelena gasped out. Her visionrsion was turning blurry as she continued to wrestle with the right fingers around her throat.

“ne trogay menya ili ya ub'yu tebya!” she heard the Black Widow scream out in their native tongue. Yelena’s eyes widened as she started to piece together what was going on.

Yelena was losing consciousness fast. In a last ditch effort, she pulled out her best pouty face and squeaked out the words she hoped would bring her sister back.

“…We’re both upside down...”

Almost instantaneously, the wild look in Black Widow melted away and was replaced with the shining emerald eyes of her sister. Natasha looked down and immediately removed her hands and vaulted off her sister’s waist.

Yelena gasped as the air suddenly started to flow freely back to her lungs, she placed her hand on a particularly sore spot that was for sure to bruise. As soon as she regained composure, she sat up and noticed the absolute terror that fell upon her sister as she was coming to the realization of what she had just done.

“No…”

Natasha looked down at her trembling hands and balled them into tight fists. Yelena still had her hand on her neck, gently adding pressuring to the sore spot. She froze, afraid to make any sudden movements as she contemplated what to say.

“Natasha, it’s ok, I’m..”

“I hurt you.”

Yelena felt her lip quiver slightly as her vision blurred again, this time from tears threatening to fall. She knew Natasha hadn’t meant to hurt her on purpose. The nightmares of the Red Room could be so surreal that it was hard to come back to reality. Yelena had them dozens of times. And each time it always took her a few minutes ground herself back to reality. She should’ve known Natasha would have the same issue.

“It’s ok, you didn’t mean to, I shouldn’t have touched you, I…”

Yelena trailed off as Natasha made a quick motion over toward where her sister sat. She brought her hand up to where Yelena had been rubbing the sore sport and gently went to remove it to reveal the bright purple mark.

Natasha gasped, eyes as big as saucers as she takes in her baby sister’s wound. The wound that she had caused. Natasha immediately jumped up off the bed and bolted out the bedroom door. Yelena barely had time to react before she herself was scurrying after her.

As she caught up with her, Yelena spotted her sister grabbing her laptop, burner phone, and clothes and shoving them into a backpack. Yelena felt her heart start to accelerate as she witnessed her sister’s frantic state that was deliberately avoiding eye contact with her.

“What are you doing?” Yelena’s voice was shaky as she addressed her sister. Natasha paused momentarily at the sound of her voice, still avoiding looking her in the eyes.

“I can’t stay here.”

Yelena felt panic start to rise again as she took in her sister’s frantic state. She watched as Natasha started to zip her bag and sling it around her shoulder. As she did, she spotted the set of keys sitting on the counter. As Natasha made her way over to them, Yelena dove for them and snatched them up quickly, keeping them out of her reach.

“Yelena, give me the keys.”

“No! You’re not leaving!”

Yelena knew her whining made her sound like a little kid, but in this moment in time she simply didn’t give a shit. Natasha huffed as she pivoted and made her way to the door. She’d walk instead if she had to. Yelena’s frustration was turning to anger as she watched her stubborn sister refuse to listen to reason.

“Do not walk out that door!”

Natasha stopped again, not turning around at the fear of facing her distraught sister. She continued to maintain a calm demeanor. One that was now starting to piss Yelena off.

“Please, just let me go.”

“I’m not letting you leave!”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You will be if you walk out that door!”

Natasha remained there in a stand-off with the woman who was begging her to stay as if she didn’t just almost strangle the life out of her. She refused to turn around as she felt tears start to build in the corners of her eyes. She let out a deep sigh as she cocked her head a little. She was starting to lose her composure.

“I’m sorry.”

Natasha made a beeline for the door. Yelena felt as if her heart was breaking and she started to feel her breath become more and more hitched. As she watched Natasha approach the door and start to turn it, she decided to make one last attempt to stop her. Something she hadn’t done since she was 6 years old.

Yelena dove down to the ground, and latched onto her sister’s legs, effectively holding her in place.

Natasha stood there shocked, then started furiously wiggling and trying to shake her sister off. But Yelena had a vice grip on her, positioning herself up further on Natasha’s legs and coiling herself around them like a cobra.

“Let go!”

“No!”

In the midst of her sister’s wiggling and frustration, Yelena suddenly let out an ear piercing scream, stopping Natasha dead in her tracks. She hadn’t seen Yelena act like this since she was a little kid.

“pozhaluysta, ne ostavlyay menya snova…”

At those words, Natasha’s entire resolve crumbled to dust. She immediately stood stagnant, feeling as Yelena’s tears started to stain her pajama pants. When she noticed her sister no longer fighting, Yelena let go, crumbling to the floor and bringing her knees up to her face and hugging them to her chest. She was shaking like a leaf but her wailing had diminished to light whimpers as she saw Natasha drop to the floor.

Yelena poked her head up from her knees as she watched her normally strong and brave sister crumble to pieces. Tears started falling fresh from Natasha’s eyes as her entire mask fell down. She sat on her knees and let the tears fall fresh onto the ground. Yelena frowned deeply as she heard the choked sobs and whimpers coming from Natasha’s throat as her own were starting to dry on her face.

Yelena found herself frozen for the second time that night. She knew she needed to approach her, but found that she was scared of the repercussions it might bring if she made the wrong move. It was a rare occurrence that the two found their roles swapping as Yelena took care of her older sister instead of the other way around. But that’s exactly what she needed to do right now.

Yelena crawled over to where her sister was slumped down and repositioned herself right in front of her. She took in the fresh tear stains and trembling lips that placated Natasha’s face. She bent down a little to try and get Natasha to make eye contact while she contemplated what to say. But of course, she beat her to the punch.

“What’s wrong with me?”

Yelena bit her lip as she brought her hand up and under Natasha’s chin. She slowly lifted her head up until she was finally level with her eyes. Natasha’s eyes were shining with the wetness from the tears, though it was a welcome change from the hollowed out look in them Yelena saw that previous morning. She inhaled sharply through her nose before answering.

“You’re human.”

Now it was Natasha’s turn to have her lip quiver. Her eyes were more focused on the purple bruise on her sister’s neck. She felt a rush of shame course through her as she reached out to gently caress the mark. Yelena remained unmoving, trusting her sister fully.

“I did that.”

Natasha’s voice cracked as she fully started to comprehend the situation and how much she had truly hurt her sister that day.

“I hurt you.”

“You didn’t mean to,” Yelena whispered. Natasha was barely moved.

“But I still did.”

Natasha remained stubborn in her position, but Yelena was not gonna back down. She moved to place her hand on the back of Natasha’s neck, grounding her as much as she could while also openly inviting her to spill her guts.

“They got to me. I let them get to me. And I hurt you. Again…” Natasha started to confess through shaky breaths. Yelena didn’t say anything, just letting her sister say whatever she needed to say.

“I tried to fight it, so you wouldn’t see how weak I actually am. I’m your big sister. I’m… supposed to be strong,” Natasha admitted brokenly.

Yelena shook her head, moving her hand to Natasha’s chin to lift it up again. She pressed her forehead to her sister’s.

“You’re an idiot.”

Now she had Natasha’s full attention as her head snapped back. Yelena glared daggers as her sister. Natasha found herself quivering ever so slightly.

“You think that by closing yourself off that you’re protecting me? You’re only hurting yourself. And in turn, you’re hurting me. You’re pain is my pain, Natashka,” Yelena told her sincerely.

Natasha looked away for a brief second as she took in her sister’s words. Yelena remained firm in her spot, hand still on the back of Natasha’s neck.

“I could’ve killed you.”

“You wouldn’t do that.”

“How do you know?”

Yelena softened her gaze ever so slightly as she turned Natasha’s face back towards her.

“Because I believe in you.”

Natasha felt fresh tears start to trickle down her cheeks again. Yelena gently used the pad of her thumb to wipe one of them, feeling as Natasha leaned into the touch.

“But… what if I’m not good for you?”

Yelena furrowed her brow, breathing sharply through her nose again.

“You don’t get to decide that.”

Natasha cocked her eyebrow, genuine confusion on her face, prompting Yelena to further explain.

“You are your own worst critic. Just because you don’t think you’re a good person doesn’t mean you aren’t. If I didn’t feel safe around you, I wouldn’t be here. Simple as that,” Yelena stated firmly.

Natasha finally relented and nodded her head.

“When did you become so wise, Malyshka?” Natasha told her with a slight tease back in her voice.

Yelena felt a bout of pressure leaving her chest as she saw her sister starting to listen to reason. She let go of her neck and opened her arms up, inviting her big sister to step in. Natasha obliged, practically falling onto her as Yelena held her tightly to her chest. Natasha silently wept a few stray tears into her chest while Yelena ran her fingers through her hair. After a few minutes, there were only a few sniffles that remained. Yelena chose this time to speak up.

“If you are hurting, please come to me. Whether it’s a nightmare or a bad thought. Don’t hide it from me. Promise me?”

Natasha lifted her head up, her bloodshot eyes shimmering with the love and adoration that was absent earlier. She was the proudest big sister in that moment.

“Promise.”

Yelena hummed in contentment, lifting up off her legs while helping guide Natasha up as well. She pulled the bag off her shoulders and threw it down onto the couch as she helped guide them back to the bedroom. For the first time, Yelena was the one to guide Natasha down onto her as their eyelids finally started to grow heavy. She placed a tiny kiss to her big sister’s head as she listened to the steady beat of her heart against her.

Cuddled up against her baby sister, Natasha’s nightmares ceased to exist the rest of the night, replaced with overflowing pride for the amazing and bright young woman Yelena had become.

She couldn’t have asked for a better sister.

—————————————————————-

Translation:

ne trogay menya ili ya ub'yu tebya- don’t touch me I’ll kill you

pozhaluysta, ne ostavlyay menya snova- please don’t leave me again

[aishiteru-kenshin]

Shinrin-Yoku ( 森林ーよく ) : Translated as “Forest Bathing,” this is a term that emerged in Japan during the 1980s with the twofold purpose to offer an eco-antidote to tech-boom burnout and to inspire residents to reconnect with and protect the country’s forests. A process of relaxation, it is the simple method of being calm and quiet amongst the trees, observing nature around you whilst breathing deeply.

[capt-april]

It’s you.

It was another story of "Right person, wrong time" Lovers became strangers. Fiery affection to burnout. A turn of events to being turned down.

Since you left the picture, you were the most painful pill that i thought was the antidote for this sickness called heartbreak. I tried to get away, for these wounds to heal. I did and it did. For a long time.

Affection muddled and blurred over the months as time marches ever forward to its indifferent beat. Feelings wretched like a ship against the rocky shore of you turning me down lead me to finding myself swimming into the deep until forgetting the wreckage of the probability of us.

Until you said you were sorry that I never thought I needed. Tears were shed cause I didn't know it was all my heart wanted.

I never hoped again. Hoped that one day things could return to the way they were. The familiarity of your laughter and smiles that branded onto the ridges of my heart hopeful for another chance to wrap the proverbial wounds and tend them better. Didn't numbed me to the bone of your return. But I was wrong.

The separation was never a goodbye, but just a "see you later."

You wore a worn out name, but the heart remained. There, I knew immediately that it's you. It has always been you.

- I.

[emilidickinson]

tagged by: @jckeperalta thanks bb!!!! ✨ tagging: @flowerhope @zenik @ewatson @books-and-cookies @hermiionegrangers @hemingsways @alitoowelll rules: shuffle your ‘on repeat’ playlist and post the first ten tracks, then tag ten people

say you like me - we the kings

burnout - ryan oaks, state champs, derek discanio

smile again - blackbear

ignorance - paramore

the antidote - simple plan

i won't give up - jason mraz

bite me - avril lavigne

sk8er boi - avril lavigne

where i belong - simple plan, state champs, we the kings

wannabe - spice girls

here ya go! xo

[ophelia-coeur]

media in june

articles

Designing the perfect on-screen teenage bedroom by Nicole Davis Inside the resurgence of the romance novel by James Greig How Erewhon became L.A.'s Hottest Hangout by Max Berlinger How Erewhon Became Everyone's Favorite Grocery Store Hot Spot by Michelle Ruiz How to Keep Up With TikTok’s Lightning-Fast Trend Cycle by Chavie Lieber Raul Lopez’s Luar: From Burnout to Hit Bag by Robert Cordero How Brands Are Using Gen-Z’s Latest App by Alexandra Mondalek Margaret Keane, ‘big eyes’ artist, dies aged 94 by Benjamin Lee

tv/film

Keep Sweet: Pray and Obey My Fake Boyfriend Long Shot Zumbo's Just Desserts (season two)

video (essays)

'Seeking a Friend for the End of the World': A Modest Apocalypse | Video Essay by Quality Culture Matilda: A Story of Chosen Families | Video Essay by Quality Culture The Shape of Water is Misunderstood | Video Essay by Quality Culture The Lovely Bones is Scarier than We Remember | Video Essay by Quality Culture The ultimate Degrassi video by Jane Mulcahy I watched every Lifetime cheerleader movie by Jane Mulcahy The Alpha Male Antidote by Kuncan Dastner The Racial and Romantic Politics of The Twilight Saga's Midnight Sun by Shanspeare How Stranger Things' SFX Artists Created Vecna | Vanity Fair by Vanity Fair Emily Henry: A masterclass in deception by LilyCReads The Dramatic Decline Of The SpongeBob Movies by 24 Frames Of Nick The Church Play Cinematic Universe by Jenny Nicholson How Stranger Things' Costume Designer Created Every Character's Season 4 Look | GQ by GQ Connecting the Manosphere by F.D Signifier Nice White Teachers, Bad Brown Schools: Hollywood's Pedagogy on Urban Education by Yhara Zayd

music

Laufey Olivia Dean Houseplant Sativa Session Houseplant Indica Session iamnotshane NEEVE

[boonesfarmsangria]

Foals frontman, Yannis Philippakis, discusses the future of live music in the metaverse

“Are people really thinking about doing this from the position of a fan’s experience, or is it driven by commerce, commodification and a way of monetising music more than it already has been?"

I grew up around live music. My father is from a tiny village in Greece called Olympos, and music is deeply embedded in the social life there. It takes place in constricted spaces where everyone is rubbing up against each other, so it’s very intimate. Perhaps it’s unsurprising, then, that I started going to shows in Oxford at a young age, right when I was learning how to play the guitar. Attending those underground gigs resulted in a deep hunger to start writing songs, but from the beginning that was really just a vessel to being on stage. It was somewhere where I instantly felt at home, an environment that is hedonistic and rebellious but also welcoming and private. The room is dark, your parents aren’t there and there’s a bar. These sound like simple things, but going to watch loud stuff with interesting strangers when you’re 15 is a big thing. It will change you in some ways maybe. 

Over the past decade that I’ve spent playing in bands, my motivation has been to construct a kind of family out of it and a feeling of togetherness. I craved that growing up because I didn’t feel like I got that from my own home and upbringing. For me, a way of filling the void was to form my own band and communicate with people in a way that is nourishing for the self, to feel like there is some potency between what we do on stage and what the crowd is experiencing. From the start that’s what really propelled me. There haven’t been any other goals.

Of course, there was some trepidation initially. When we played Reading for the second time, after [our debut album] Antidotes was released, there was an enormous crowd that we didn’t expect. I came off the stage and remember feeling possessed. It came from the energy that had been given out by the crowd; I felt like a lightning rod for them, almost in a shamanic way. I’d never felt that before – it was so powerful that I remember thinking it should be treated with caution. Really there’s not much difference between the role of a shaman or a religious figure in an ancient civilisation and what we’re doing now. It’s the same expression, just different contexts. 

Lockdown was the longest period of time that Foals had gone without playing any shows. It resulted in a type of restless existential questioning where we wondered who we were without the rhythms of touring and live shows. Pivoting online was something that came up in conversation but was quickly swatted away; it felt like the tail wagging the dog. If we play a show and there’s a livestream of it, that’s different from fabricating something to play virtually. It’s to do with the way we play as a band – the physical volume of our shows, the fact that we need to see a crowd and a mosh pit. It needs to be sweaty, chaotic, and that’s just not going to happen in a virtual space or the metaverse, because right now at least, it’s intrinsically sterile. 

I’m all up for playing a show and having methods for that to be democratised and accessible so people from disparate places can plug into the show in a way that is affordable. This would also mean that we’d be able to tour less, which is beneficial from an environmental and personal standpoint. We’d fly and freight less, but bands are also making the majority of their money from live tours these days, meaning that they often perform to the point of burnout. It would be nice to have some kind of correction, so we’re able to do both without the maniacal drive we have when we know that our income rests on performing live. 

Fundamentally, though, we’d have to feel like the performance isn’t compromised, nor the ability for the performer to lose themselves in it. Dabbling in this stuff would have felt calculating and sanitised over the lockdown period, but I’m not sure to what extent that was determined by the quality of the technology at hand, which is now advancing rapidly. Currently I don’t feel like there is an immersive experience that would have the wow factor, they’re all pale facsimiles of the real experience. If there were a virtual experience where you’re plugged in like in a Black Mirror episode, and it’s more intense than reality and can fry your neurones, then you’ll have something to discuss.

And one probably needs to question the motives. Are people really thinking about doing this from the position of a fan’s experience, or is it driven by commerce, commodification and a way of monetising music more than it already has been? I don’t believe it will be structured in a way that would be of real benefit to artists, and even if it does become organised enough and the technology is there, it will undoubtedly become another front of business. I don’t think I’m being overly gloomy, but we’re not looking at some democratised, unfiltered, musical utopia when the metaverse takes shape. 

As a band, Foals is more susceptible to the crowd than many others because of how porous we are with the audience. If they’re going bonkers and throwing out all this energy, that in turn shifts the show into something rapturous. And when we’ve played to a crowd that is disinterested or in a corporate environment, we don’t play well and no one has a good time. That’s my concern with the metaverse: are we going to walk away from a virtual performance and feel like we cheapened something that was powerful, spiritual and joyous by putting it into something cold, remote and sanitised? If there were a creative, enriching way of facilitating something like that we would be interested, it just has to feel and be right from all angles.  

Still, it’s interesting that we’re even talking about this right now. Surely, after a period of protracted social isolation and a lack of live events, the timing is strange. It’s so powerful to be back in a room with people, and one aspect of the Covid-19 pandemic was realising just how precious and fundamental being together is to being human. What is so powerful about live music exists in the corporeal reality. It’s in the smell, the darkness, the fact that you’re looking the performer in the eye, that your body is physically reacting to volume. It’s going to the bar… the journey to and from the gig, when you talk with your mates. Hopefully it won’t be replicated. It should remain in the here and now.  

HUNGERMAGAZINE || Interview || hunger.tv

[spiritualsoull1969]

Lobh (Greed): Finding Fulfillment Beyond Material Gain

The Guru Granth Sahib, the holy scripture of Sikhism, identifies Lobh (Greed) as a major obstacle on the path to spiritual growth and a fulfilling life. Lobh extends beyond just a desire for wealth; it encompasses any excessive craving that can cloud our judgment and lead us astray. In today's materialistic world, where success is often equated with material possessions, Lobh can be a significant challenge. However, by understanding its influence and cultivating a sense of purpose beyond material gain, we can find greater fulfillment in our work and overall lives.

The Harms of Lobh:

Lobh can manifest in various ways at work. An employee consumed by Lobh might prioritize personal gain over the success of the team. They might engage in unethical practices like cutting corners or taking credit for others' work. Here's how Lobh can be detrimental:

Unethical Conduct: The relentless pursuit of material gain can lead to unethical behaviour, damaging your reputation and harming others.

Burnout: The constant striving for more can lead to chronic stress and burnout, hindering your well-being and productivity.

Unsatisfying Work: Focusing solely on material rewards can make you feel disconnected from the intrinsic value of your work.

Damaged Relationships: Lobh can lead to mistrust and competition within teams, hindering collaboration and success.

Finding Fulfillment Beyond Lobh:

The antidote to Lobh lies in cultivating a sense of purpose and meaning beyond material gain. Here's how to find fulfillment in your work without succumbing to greed:

Align with Your Values: Choose a career path that aligns with your values and interests. Work that you find meaningful is inherently more rewarding than simply chasing a paycheck.

Focus on Contribution: Shift your focus from personal gain to the contribution you can make. Find satisfaction in using your skills and talents to benefit others or create something positive.

Celebrate Intrinsic Rewards: Recognize and appreciate the intrinsic rewards of your work, such as learning new skills, developing relationships, or making a positive impact.

Practice Gratitude: Cultivate an attitude of gratitude for the opportunities you have and the resources available to you. This fosters contentment and reduces the need for more.

Combating Lobh in the Workplace:

Here are some ways to embody the spirit of overcoming Lobh and create a more fulfilling work environment:

Fair Compensation: Advocate for fair compensation for yourself and your colleagues. Feeling valued for your work reduces the need to chase external rewards.

Collaborative Culture: Promote a collaborative work environment where everyone feels valued and rewarded for their contributions.

Focus on Growth: Focus on opportunities for professional growth and development. Learning new skills keeps your work engaging and fulfilling.

Healthy Competition: Encourage healthy competition that motivates improvement without resorting to unethical practices.

Lead by Example: Leaders who demonstrate ethical conduct and prioritize the collective good inspire others to do the same.

Lobh Toolkit for a Fulfilling Work Life:

Self-Reflection: Regularly reflect on your motivations. Are you driven by a genuine interest in your work, or solely by the desire for external rewards?

Values Assessment: Identify your core values and choose work that aligns with them.

Gratitude Practice: Take time each day to appreciate the positive aspects of your work and career.

Contribution Mindset: Focus on how your work contributes to the team, organization, or a larger purpose.

Continuous Learning: Pursue opportunities for professional development to keep your work stimulating and intrinsically rewarding.

Volunteer Work: Engage in volunteer work to experience the satisfaction of giving back without expecting anything in return.

Overcoming Lobh is a continuous journey. There will be times when materialistic desires resurface. The key is to be mindful of their influence and actively cultivate a sense of purpose and fulfillment in your work. By focusing on intrinsic rewards, contribution, and ethical conduct, you can achieve a sense of satisfaction that goes beyond mere material gain.

[studyboardnightsky]

The inhuman thing about depression is making me think I would/I already hate something I once loved and worked hard day and night for. If it was a heartbreak or betrayal, there will be more than self to blame. But in depression, I have nothing but me and my isolation to pin the blame on. And it only adds more weight on me.

If I can't forgive the 7 year old me or 10 year old or 17 year old me, how will I forgive my 27 year young me? It's ironic, that something that hasn't arrived is younger than what I am now and I'm grieving for both the past and future losses instead of doing something, some tinkering to life with the present. And it's not even depression or burnout or some other undiagnosed disorder- at the end as well as from the beginning, it had been me.

I can't label the parts of me - which was distraction? Which was coping mechanism? Which was greedy desire? Which was jealousy transformed into mirror of my incapacities pulling me away from everything I liked? Which was part of life? Which were self derailings from life? Where did I loose my discipline? In writing poems? Or in reminding myself to not jump from the bridge? When was the last time my mind was clear? When was the last time I did nothing that could be categorised under self sabotage? Was giving into despair that big of a sin? And what was sin afterall? If I'm the worst judge of myself, and failing to punish myself is also a sin and self love too, then to where can I carry myself away from me? When was the last time I slept without struggling for an hour or more? How to cut off these unhealthy coping mechanisms like cutting my nails? How long will the numbness towards life and whatever that isn't life, continue to pain me? What is the antidote to life filled with suicidal thoughts and career suicidal behaviours? I don't drink or smoke or take any drugs.. but my mental health and physical health are perhaps worse than anyone who takes them and what do call this self awareness that isn't helpful but just depressing again? When was the last time I looked at a sunrise or sunset or stars or moon? Does an infinitesimally small creature like me looking out at the space matter even? Maybe yes, it matters.. it mattered to me.. but what happened? Did I grow tired of myself? Did I shrunk myself afraid of growing anymore? Self isolation is warmer than trembling under gaze and talks of so called friends and I don't blame them, its me who can't spend a single ATP for my own betterment; I'm just cautious on spending whatever energy left in me and when will I run out or grow through this? Am I just another overthinking human or despicable human being trying to suppress it all under my eyelids? - I can't label any parts of me.. why should I ? I can't believe I have typed this much thoughts even..

And yes.. these are just thought trains, flowing unchecked. It's not depression. It's not crippling. It's better to be in denial and do what I should be doing. And how will the future self forgive me for this.. it will because it survived through it I guess.

[imunbreakabledude]

I'm sorry you gotta deal with that, I feel like my username wards off a lot of weirdos but a few still have gotten through the cracks and its caused me to turn off public chat at least in the really populated areas. Especially the skilling bosses and minigames though, I don't know what causes the public chat to be especially bad there. I like looking at peoples rsns though. My favorite ive found is 'I Poop Alone' which is an iron. But I've added you back and I should be on a little later, I escaped the house today so I've been a bit busy.

But on the tornadoes I get you completely, it feels like the tornadoes move an extra square sometimes just to screw with you. And on my last I swear to you the tornadoes lasted longer than usual just to stack me out on the last possible tick.

I think I will end up making an iron, with the release of Varlamore the early to midgame looks way more interesting and fun plus if I make it to bowfa down the line that'll at least be quite a while of playtime before that grind. Plus even if i don't like it I can just use the account as like a wildy boss scout or for like corp instances.

omg yeah even before i became a public chat off by default person due to people being strange and annoying about my RSN i always turned it off at wintertodt/tempo/gotr. and shooting stars. those are all the worst. I guess any activity where people are bored and know there's an audience for them to get a reaction out of, they feel compelled to say dumb shit just for attention? I don't get it. it's a shame because once in a while you can have a nice, normal, or even a bit odd but not skeevy chat with a rando in public chat, that's one of the great things about an mmo, but the loud minority of creeps make it hard to to put up with...

I do love a good RSN, i like that one lol though I do roll my eyes at UNCREATIVE edgy/raunchy usernames. if they're funny, 100%. example: "tztok-fatkok". hilarious, thematically appropriate. but something like "pussytits69," ew, come on, try to use more than one braincell... lol. there's also a sad (but small) amount of outright offensive usernames (like racial slurs/stereotypes). idk what makes people wanna do shit like that.

but RSNs like yours are top tier... the kind of thing that a kid comes up with and then becomes close to your heart. it weirdly bums me out that almost no one has numbers at the end of their RSNs anymore? except bots. everyone having to put numbers at the end or some xX Z3RKER Xx kinda shit is nostalgic as hell... lol

anyway... if you do end up making an iron, have fun! with varla there's definitely tons of early-mid game options that can spice up some elements that were boring but "mandatory" (not really, but due to lack of other good options) before. and you're right you can always use the account for something else if you want! so it might be an antidote to the burnout to immerse yourself in earlygame stuff again (while benefitting from new options/QoL changes like not having to do kourend favor again, lol)

[theaccumulatedblur]

The best antidote to burnout is not teaching coping skills to handle stress. It's redesigning work to reduce stress. To prevent exhaustion, we need to remove overwhelming demands and reject the norm of self-sacrifice. Healthy workplaces value well-being as much as performance.

-Adam Grant

[toptiermedicalstaffing]

Burnout can dramatically impact the job performance of medical employees, especially nurses. Herein lies the major challenge faced by medical staffing in Saginaw, Michigan. The urgency of preventing nurse burnout in the healthcare sector has never been more relevant.

[bee-in-motion]

Rediscovering Freedom: The Benefits of Bike Riding for Adults

Embracing Health and Fitness In the hustle and bustle of adult life, finding time for exercise can be challenging. However, bike riding offers a convenient and enjoyable way to stay fit. Unlike high-impact activities that can strain joints, biking provides a low-impact cardiovascular workout that is gentle on the body. Regular cycling strengthens the heart, improves circulation, and boosts overall cardiovascular health. Moreover, it engages various muscle groups, including the legs, core, and glutes, promoting strength and endurance. By incorporating bike riding into your routine, you can enhance your fitness levels and maintain a healthy lifestyle effortlessly.

Mental Well-being and Stress Relief

The stresses of modern life can take a toll on mental well-being, leading to anxiety, depression, and burnout. Fortunately, bike riding for adults offers a therapeutic escape from daily pressures. The rhythmic motion of pedaling, combined with the serene outdoor environment, has a calming effect on the mind. Cycling outdoors exposes you to fresh air and natural scenery, providing a much-needed break from the confines of indoor spaces. This connection with nature can uplift mood, reduce stress levels, and enhance overall mental clarity and focus.

Sustainable Transportation and Environmental

Impact As concerns about climate change and environmental degradation continue to grow, adopting eco-friendly habits becomes increasingly imperative. Bike riding presents a sustainable transportation alternative that benefits both individuals and the planet. Choosing to bike instead of drive reduces carbon emissions, alleviates traffic congestion, and minimizes reliance on fossil fuels. By embracing biking as a mode of transportation, adults can contribute to cleaner air, healthier communities, and a more sustainable future for generations to come.

Social Connection and Community

Engagement In today's digitally-driven society, face-to-face interactions are often overshadowed by virtual communication. However, bike riding for adults offers a unique opportunity for adults to connect with others and build meaningful relationships. Joining group rides, cycling clubs, or community events allows individuals to bond over a shared passion for biking, fostering camaraderie and friendship. Furthermore, biking provides a platform for community engagement and advocacy. Participating in cycling initiatives, such as charity rides or local advocacy campaigns, enables adults to make a positive impact in their communities while connecting with like-minded individuals.

In a world characterized by sedentary lifestyles and urban sprawl, bike riding offers a refreshing antidote for adults seeking health, happiness, and sustainability. From its physical and mental health benefits to its positive environmental impact and social connectivity, bike riding for adults transcends mere exercise to become a lifestyle choice that enriches lives and strengthens communities. So, dust off your helmet, inflate your tires, and embark on a journey of discovery as you rediscover the joy and freedom of bike riding.