#the company you keep is influencing the opinions you hold

[chaoswithcausation]

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[simphornies]

Hi i was wondering if you could do a Vox X Angel Reader. If you don't mind of course. I understand if you say no.

A/N: Again. But this might be a two parter again. Or three. I don't know this one was super fun to write though!

Word count: 4.3k (4,232) Contains: SLOW burn, Alastor is your friend, Charlie being Charlie

part 2, part 3, part 4

Summary: Vox approached you with a deal too good to be true. He hid his ill-intent only to find him playing too far into the lie to the point where he began to doubt his true feelings. What was he really doing this for?

Deal breaker [Vox x Angel! Reader] Part 1

Your curious and overly empathetic nature mixed with your passion for justice always had the seraphims and other archangels keep their eyes on you. They tried to prevent you from rebelling by limiting your access to information.

You grew to be a well-known and respected angel in heaven so when word came out that you decided to stand by Charlie's hotel idea during the trial, more than half of heaven stood by it too. You were the furious version of Emily during then. You were enraged and demanded the information to be leaked to which Sera rejected immediately.

You threatened to spread the truth yourself and with that you were ordered to leave Heaven and join Charlie, never to set foot back in Heaven with such threats. You accepted being a fallen on the condition that they give the hotel a chance if you were to win against the extermination. Emily was more than happy to agree to be the joyful messenger to report good news and fix the stereotypes that they held on the souls of hell.

Sera went against this idea but Emily threatened to join you in Hell otherwise. You watched as Sera, a high seraphim, was backed into a corner by a fellow seraphim. The other angels argued amongst each other but were instantly persuaded by your opinion due to your reputation. You swore that you will win against the true fools of the battle, Adam and Lute.

You gave aid on Charlie's side against the early extermination by working to heal those who were gravely injured and protecting the weak. Ultimately winning in the end, a surge of arguments within the heavenly community led to an uprising in defense of the hotel. This very reason ended up with you falling like Lucifer. You weren't a seraphim but you sure as hell had the social status of one. With Heaven unable to condemn every angel that joined the uprising against the extermination so they settled with you. The fight, however wasn't won without casualties.

During the broadcasted fight, your power caught the attention of the overlord Vox. He was in shock that someone in heaven actually gave a shit about the people in hell. Soon after the war you received word that he wanted to have a meeting with you to discuss collaboration with VoxTek and Hazbin Hotel. Against Alastor's obviously biased protests, you agreed to meet with the infamous overlord alone.

"Vox, a pleasure to be meeting with you. I'm sure you've heard but my name is Y/N. Fallen angel, representative and advisor of Hazbin Hotel." You formally greet him, holding out your hand to which he shook.

"Y/N, I've known you since the last extermination, quite a sight. Please, sit." He pulls out a chair for you. How gentlemanly. "I've arranged this meeting to discuss possible collaborations with VoxTek despite our standing with your host, Alastor." His voice distorted when he said his name. It was a mystery to you as to why they despise each other so much, but it wasn't your place nor the time to know of the reason.

"Ah, yes. He protested against my decision to meet with you today, however and I am quite curious as to what you have to offer considering Hazbin Hotel needs not for what your company usually provides." You sit up, placing your interlocked hands on the table. "You are well aware that cameras and technology of that sort don't quite mix with our dear Alastor. So please, what do you have that we need?"

"Influence. I believe I can spread the word and convince sinners to attempt redemption better than Alastor's radio broadcasts." Vox noticed your eyes glisten with interest. "I know the hotel's against forcing so I won't use my hypnotism on the advertisement."

"Alright," You nod, "That's a decent offer. What do you request in return if I were to agree to this?"

A grin spreads across his face, "I want you to protect me and my company against future threats. That and I want you in particular."

You cock an eyebrow at his half ridiculous request, "Me?" You almost scoffed out loud, "What do you want me for?"

"Why, I would love to get to know you. You're more of a mystery than that radio demon and well, as an overlord, I have to know exactly who you are."

"And how do you propose this idea to work? Surely I am not worthy of such...curiosity. I have proven myself to not be a threat to the people of hell."

"Well, let me put this in simpler terms." He leans back in his chair, "I am interested in courting you."

You blinked in disbelief. An overlord? Courting a fallen angel? "Now wouldn't that be a conflict of interest? And if your courting fails, how are we to know that the Vees won't become a bigger threat to the hotel?"

"You're a fallen angel, you hold more power than the overlords and stand side by side with the king of hell. Not to mention that you're best friends with Princess Morningstar." He watched the subtle changes in your facial reaction, slightly amused but also slightly worried that you'd actually say no. "You are by far much stronger than Adam, who by the way shot laser beams from his fingers. We pose no threat to you."

"Ah but you are aware that I can be hurt with angelic weapons. You work with Carmilla Carmine, an angelic weapons dealer. So I ask again, how do I guarantee my safety alongside the hotel?"

"How about we make a deal then?" He proposed.

A deal? An angel, fallen or not, making a deal with a demon is not something you typically see, well, ever. You pondered and thought about the offer, humming softly.

"3 days." You finally spoke, "I'll need 3 days to consider this offer on the condition that you stay in the hotel. If you're truly willing to collaborate with us, you need to stay, see and understand the hotel in its full glory. In return for your approval of this condition, I will give provide you protection from Alastor and, may I be as bold to say it, force his cooperation."

Vox was a little skeptical but considering you are stronger than Alastor, he agreed. "Alright then, 3 days. When will this start?"

"I will let you know as soon as I speak with the staff of the hotel." You get up from your seat. "Is that alright with you?"

Vox gets up and shakes your hand, "Great. I'll be waiting."

You gave him a smile before teleporting yourself back to the hotel. As soon as you left Vox basically starts breathing hard as if he was holding his breath the entire meeting. The presence of an angel freshly fallen from Heaven is a heavy one. He composed himself before calling Velvette and Valentino to the room.

Back at the hotel you call for a staff meeting with Vaggie, Alastor, Charlie, Lucifer and Husk. You tell them about the events of the meeting. They, with the exclusion of Charlie, were all understandably skeptical and untrusting of Vox's word. Especially Alastor considering he hated this demon's guts.

The room distorts slightly due to his anger. "As the host of the hotel, I disagree with this deal. I say no. I do not collaborate with technology in the slightest and I will absolutely not collaborate with Vox." He hissed out. "That is a terribly foolish idea. I cannot comprehend why you would consider such a proposal."

"Yeah that guy literally tried to spy on us with Pentious as soon as he learned that Alastor was here." Vaggie crossed her arms, "As rare as this is, I agree with Alastor. I trust him more than I trust Vox."

"You guys, I think the proposal is a great idea!" Charlie defended, "He can get us more reach and other people aren't as..." She glanced at Alastor who tilted his head to the side in response, "...afraid of him. And! This hotel's all about redemption and giving chances, we can't turn our backs on something as big as this."

"My dear, surely you aren't considering this preposterous idea?" Alastor questioned argumentatively.

"Yes. I am. I stand with Y/N on this one. I think we should give him a chance."

"And what if he tries to fuck shit up here at the hotel? Then what?" Husk asks, "I'm not cleaning up after any more walls that get blown up." He grumbled, taking a swig out of his bottle.

"I hear your troubles and concerns regarding the idea but did you all truly forget," You glanced at Lucifer. He understood your cue and in unison you both reveal your six wings and the eyes that covered you both, "This hotel is under protection of not only the infamous radio demon but two high-ranking fallen angels."

"I agree with Y/N. If that little overlord tries to pull any stunts, I won't hesitate to fuck him." Lucifer proudly, and loudly, states.

Everyone, in response, stared at him.

"It's 'fuck him up' dad." Charlie whispers, "I told you this last time."

"Wait what did I say?"

You laugh at the mistake in phrase, "See? There is nothing to worry about."

"Okay but why does he want to do this? What exactly does he want in return, Y/N? I feel like you left that out." Vaggie asks as you and Lucifer put your wings away, reverting back to your usual forms.

"Well, he said he wanted protection and..." You trail off. All eyes are on you as they waited for what comes next. You take a deep breath in, "And he wants a chance at courting me." You calmly state, a nervous blush covering your poker face.

Husk spits out his drink and everyone, in unison, screams. "WHAT?"

All at once, protests, thoughts and opinions were thrown at you.

"All this nonsense for a chance at courtship? Foolish!" Alastor scoffed.

"The big bad overlord wants to fucking hit on you and you considered it?" Husk screams before reaching for another bottle to chug. "I'm too fucking sober right now."

"Ooooooh~ Y/N caught the attention of an overlord. You know what he wants-" Lucifer elbowed you before humping the air with a teasing look on his face, "Bow-chicka-wow-wow."

"HE WANTS TO DATE YOU?" Vaggie yelled.

"OH MY GOSH. HE WANTS TO DATE YOU? THAT'S SO CUTE." Charlie squealed in excitement, of course.

You sigh and rubbed your temples at the onslaught of statements. You patiently waited for them to all stop talking at the same time before continuing. You took this time to think this one through. You hardly knew the guy and he was willing to agree to spend 3 days in the hotel even with Alastor here. If that wasn't a commitment, then you don't know what is.

The arguing dies down and you get up, "I didn't state that I will enter a relationship with Vox. I simply said I'll consider his conditions of collaboration. Protection against future threats is something I can handle. The second part came out of the blue." You sigh, "Alastor. I am more than well aware of your indifferences and feelings on him but if you truly want this hotel to get more reach, you need to be able to put your feelings to the side and be more open-minded. Besides, if he were to fail here and in courting me, wouldn't you want to be there to see it?"

Alastor hummed, "Mmmm...You make a good point there. Fine. I'll agree to it. I won't harm him for a chance at seeing him fail." He grinned menacingly, his words covered with his radio static effect. "Though if he doesn't fail, what shall I get?"

You deadpanned and sighed, once again, "I'll bring you foolish prey that talk shit about you so you can let your anger out on them instead of him." You offered to which he decided to reluctantly settle for.

After you all came to the agreement, you send a paper notice to Vox telling him that tomorrow will be the start of his 3 long days at the hotel. Vox received the note you sent him while he was with Velvette and Valentino making him grin.

Velvette rolled her eyes, "All that to hit on the angel bitch? That's a weird-"

"-And pathetic-" Valentino added.

"-fucking move for power, Vox. Did you hit your fuckin' head or something? Do you need an update?"

"Pathetic? We get angelic protection equal to the protection of Lucifer. That would give us such an easy path to conquer this whole fucking ring!" He exclaims, laughing menacingly, "If an angel fell for that dumbass reason, there's no fucking way she's smart enough to see through the fact that she's the one that's going to be getting played."

.

The next day rolled around and the hotel lobby was decorated with basically every decoration everyone could find. There was even a sign that says "It's a boy!" on the wall? The same one they used for Lucifer's arrival. You shook your head, laughing a bit.

"Alright, Alastor. Remember, be nice." You remind him as he rolled his eyes.

"Yes yes, your highness." He rolled his eyes, sassing you. Though this idea was a crazy one, you and Alastor were friends. You had helped him gain a bit more of his power that was constricted from his mysterious chains. When you saw him bleeding in his old radio tower, you shared your powers through the means of a deal. A deal that he would trust your decisions and become your friend.

"Don't you sass me, Alastor." You joked, "Very unbecoming of you."

After a couple minutes of waiting, a knock sounds at the door. You open it to reveal Vox standing with pride. Confetti blasts behind you as you welcome him into the hotel.

"Welcome, Vox. To the famous Hazbin Hotel. I truly hope you enjoy your stay with us and we thank you for taking this opportunity."

"I don't thank him for shit." Alastor mumbled.

You side-eyed the radio demon before holding out your hand for Vox to take so you can show him around. He takes it and gives the back of your hand a kiss, earning an eye-roll and a couple of gasps.

"First things first, I shall introduce you to the staff." You walk him over to your friends.

"Hi! I'm Charlie. You probably already know me but welcome to the hotel!" She squealed, shaking his free hand, "You're going to love it here! You get to play our trust games today! Oh! And this is my dad, the king of hell, Lucifer!" Charlie grabbed her father to which he waved and just said, "Pleasure."

Everyone made their rounds introducing themselves to Vox and it was time for you to properly introduce the two rivals to each other. Vox came face to face with Alastor. Alastor squinted, his aura darkening and in response Vox starts to angrily glitch.

"Now now. A reminder that you two are to get along for the next 3 days. Or, at the least, not kill each other." You calmly state, "Or, I will do it myself." You threatened, your angelic eyes sprouting on your hair as you smiled at them sweetly, your hands gripping their shoulders a little tight. They pettily turn their heads away from each other.

"Now that introductions are done, I shall escort you to your room. Right this way."

You lead him into a room that you requested be ready for him. All rooms around it are covered with jammers strong enough to prevent him from doing anything sketchy or interfering with technology from his room, as per Alastor's request, but weak enough to allow him to properly function. You briefed him on this expecting him to protest but he just agreed without a fight.

His room was designed entirely on what you saw in his office, color scheme and all. Neon lights that he can control and change lined the walls and the corners. You decide to temporarily move into the space next to his so if anything were to go wrong, you'd be the first one there.

After settling in, Vox was subjected to Charlie's games and events that she had planned for the day. She purposefully pushed the two of you into pairs when given the chance, anything to get you two to become close. Alastor surprisingly behaved himself, too focused on his more important rivalry with Lucifer to truly care about Vox's presence. Vox, of course, took great offense to this and tried to pick fights with him which led him to getting punished.

By Charlie.

In her own Charlie way.

Apologies.

Anyways you end your day at the bar, speaking with Husk about his day. You listen to him grumble away at his irritations, giving advice when needed or asked but mostly staring at your cup of wine. Growing up in Heaven, you were only allowed to drink wine with levels of alcoholic concentration so low it's practically still juice. This made you a lightweight in the beginning but with enough time spent around Angel Dust and Cherri, your tolerance went up.

You were working on finishing an entire bottle of wine when Husk stopped his stories, grumpily walking away to pretend to do something. Vox had sat next to you.

"Hello, are you here for a drink?" You asked, offering some of your drink to him.

"Sorry, I'm more of a whiskey and rum type of demon." He declined, lifting his glass full of what looked to be rum. "Today I chose rum."

"How's your first day? Tiring, is it not?" You ask before pouring yourself another glass, "I'll be heading to bed as soon as I finish my bottle."

He laughed a bit, "You're finishing that whole thing by yourself? Never expected the angel to be an alcoholic. You getting used to Hell or something?"

You roll your eyes, "I like to indulge every now and then, Heaven is such an uptight place for angels like me. Indulging in alcohol was never a chance. The 'wine' there is quite literally juice. Ask Husk, he was disgusted." You pointed at the winged cat demon who nodded in response.

"Nastiest shit I ever tasted."

While you, Husk and Vox conversed you failed to notice Charlie sneaking up on you the moment you finished the last drops in your glass. She jumped as soon as you finished the bottle and smiled.

"Y/N! Vox! Since you two are more acquainted and you live next to each other, why don't you two walk together for the night?" She winked at you, egging on the idea of you and Vox dating.

"That's not necessa—" You begin before getting interrupted by an overly excited Vox.

"Gladly!" He grinned as he put his glass down. He extended his arm out to you for you to hold onto. You walk past him, declining his offer without a word. Your rejection at his attempt of affection sparked a flame within him. It definitely hit his ego.

"Catch up now, or I'll end up walking alone." You say, almost in a teasing manner.

Charlie gently pushed Vox after you to which he ran to catch up. While you two walked down the lobby and up the stairs, it was awkwardly silent. Vox's damaged ego made him break the silence first.

"So...What does an angel do...at night?" Vox internally slapped himself at the horrid attempt at conversation. You raised an eyebrow at him, befuddled at the odd question.

"We...sleep? Go into slumber?" You giggle slightly, "That was an amazing attempt at conversation."

Your giggle echoed in his head, replaying for a while until you spoke again. Vox was confused at his own reaction and decided to ignore it. He held his hands behind his back as he walked next to you down the hallway towards your rooms.

"Well I don't typically talk to angels. You're one of the three only angels here. Unless you count the dead one." His humor wasn't something he expected you to laugh at but you did. He was surprised. "Anyways. I'm allowed to try and court you while I'm here right?"

"Hmm. I suppose." You nodded, "Though, I have my doubts in your abilities to successfully do so. But you have my best wishes for your endeavors."

Your best wishes? That phrase almost made him scoff in response, holding back only for the sake of his facade. Though he did feel challenged.

"Is that a challenge, Y/N?" He asked, a mischievous grin on his face as he looked at you.

You finally reach your door which was right before Vox's, "Take it as you will. I will not condemn you from attempting." You smile at him, "Have a good night, Vox. Don't fall asleep too late."

"Whatever you say." He definitely took it as a challenge. "Good night, angel." He said as he opened your door for you. You thanked him before entering your room, shutting, but not locking, your door behind you. It didn't take long for you to get ready and fall asleep after.

Meanwhile in Vox's room, he took a look around. Double checking every nook and cranny for a sign of distrust like listening devices and cameras but to his surprise there were none. He was about to let his guard down until Alastor slid under his locked door using his shadow.

"Hello, old pal." The sound of his radio voice made the fellow overlord jump. He turned and made eye contact with the radio demon himself, menacingly smiling at him.

"What do you want, fuck face?" He hissed, his own voice covered with his stereo effect almost as if trying to one-up Alastor.

"I don't know what your intentions are here but I am almost completely sure you are up to no good. So we shall heed you a warning."

"Why did you say 'we' instead off 'I' or 'me' or something."

Alastor's grin widens as he unlocked the door for Lucifer to get through. Vox looked down at the surprisingly short king of hell.

"My daughter's formed a close bond with Y/N and if anything happens to her, you'll have to deal with me. And I don't think you'd want that." Lucifer threatened, eyes briefly turning red, "That's all I have to say!"He smiled as if nothing just happened and left to go to his room.

"And our dear, Y/N is a part of this hotel now." Alastor examined his staff before staring down the TV demon, "Under no circumstance for these next days am I to harm you but I will tell you this. Watch your intentions."

Alastor disappeared as quickly as he came, leaving Vox alone. He rolled his eyes at the warnings Alastor gave him, only really caring about Lucifer's. Right as he was about to settle into bed, a knock came at his door. He groaned in frustration.

"What now?" He complained, opening the door a bit too furiously, "What do you want—Oh. Hello, Y/N..." You stood in front of him in your pajamas. Which was a nightgown you got from Angel Dust as a present, it teased the dirty mind of whoever saw it but you honestly thought it was just a regular nightgown. Your cleavage threatened to spill out from the top at any wrong move and the shape of the dress partnered with the extremely light fabric meant that a breeze could easily blow it up.

It was a sight he wasn't expecting to see and if he was being honest, it flustered him to see you, a renowned angel, in such revealing clothes in front of his room at night. He awkwardly cleared his throat to snap himself out of his brief trance before hiding his nervousness behind a wide smile.

"Yes, Y/N? I was just about to go to bed. Do you need anything?" He leaned against the door frame, arms loosely crossed, "Or did you come here to tease me~"

You shook your head before handing him a box. "I forgot to give you this, I had left it on my nightstand and saw it before I laid to rest." You smile, "It's a welcome gift. I shall be heading off now. Good night!"

"Wai—" He spoke but you were already heading towards your room. He watched you walk away, eyes scanning the shape of your body as the nightgown landed on your curves. And he stared at your ass.

He goes back into his room to open what you'd given him. It was a bow tie that had the iconic Hazbin Hotel eye on it. Under it was a note.

'I made this myself. Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel! I hope you enjoy your stay! -Y/N'

He felt himself warm up at the gesture which felt weird to him. He was there to try to win you over with manipulation, trick you into forming a deal with him and taking you for himself away from the hotel. And now he's blushing?

"What the fuck..." He whispered to himself, having mixed emotions on his original plan. He shook it off and headed to bed. He only had 2 more days after all.

[sehya]

✧˖°. ࣪𖤐 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐈𝐧 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧

✉ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ʟᴜᴄɪꜰᴇʀ ɪꜱ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʜᴇ ɪꜱ, ɪᴛ ᴄᴀɴɴᴏᴛ ʙᴇ ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ 'ᴄʜɪʟᴅʜᴏᴏᴅ'. ꜱᴛɪʟʟ, ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ʟᴜᴄɪꜰᴇʀ ᴡʜᴇɴ ʜᴇ ꜰɪʀꜱᴛ ɢᴏᴛ ʜɪꜱ ꜰɪʀꜱᴛ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ ᴀ.ᴋ.ᴀ ʏᴏᴜ. (ʜᴜᴍᴀɴꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ꜱᴛɪʟʟ ɴᴏᴛ ʏᴇᴛ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛᴇᴅ ᴅᴜʀɪɴɢ ᴛʜɪꜱ.) ɪᴛ'ꜱ ᴀ ʙɪᴛ ᴏᴏᴄ, ɪ'ᴍ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴛʏ ꜱᴏʀʀʏ.

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫(𝐬): 𝐋𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐫 & 𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐭 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫. (+𝐑𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐞𝐥)

𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥! 𝐋𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐫 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫

Angel!Lucifer would be extremely overjoyed upon learning you wanted to befriend him. He was literally buzzling from excitement alone that finally, finally!, someone willing to get to know him.

It's not like he has no one to talk to. He does, but they aren't the most fond of him. In fact, it's the opposite. Other angels tend to stay away from him or treat him with obvious desire for distance in their behavior.

The very first time, he was prone to acting nervous and would unintentionally act in an awkward way. Please let him be, he's getting used to the company which he doesn't have before. He often overthinks things, a bit desperate to maintain and keep the first ever company who's willing to hang out with him.

Angel! Lucifer doesn't talk about his ideas to you at first, fearing you'll go away like the others. But over time, when he got comfortable enough, he opened up and started sharing his dreams and aspirations, his fears, and dislikes. Both the good and the bad thoughts.

Everyone watched and observed as your friendship grows and blooms like the brightest and most vibrant of flowers, and Raphael was embarrassed to stand talk to you and be seen around you. Why? Because the archangel has fondness towards his reputation and he doesn't want it being tarnished by his older brother who's always standing right beside you like some kind of lovesick puppy following its owner.

Now it is known that if anyone is looking for Lucifer, all they have to do is find you and they'll see him nearby, not too far away from you.

Good luck trying to keep this archangel away from you. He would always try to be there if he's not doing anything, with his goofy grin and silly smiles, always popping at your side with a “What you up to?” before asking if he could come along, help you or accompany you.

Angel! Lucifer is affectionate and polite at the same time. He would hug you as a greeting and ask your opinions first before doing something like curling up against you. He knew you wouldn't reject him but he still asks anyways, wanting to have your permission before he laid his head on your lap or cuddled with you while you're busy gazing at nothingness.

Angel! Lucifer shared everything with you and was happy to know you don't judge him because of his ideas. He would literally knock at your door so early in the morning when the sun has yet to shine and be like, “(Y/n), I have this idea about blah blah blah...” and you'll be sitting inside your own home, trying not to doze off as you nod along his words, letting him blabber about his ideas.

In the end, once he was done, Angel! Lucifer would grin and thank you for listening to him before falling asleep with you.

Right── since he's always around you, he would be there whenever someone's talking to you. God forbid anyone, and I mean anyone, talks bad about you, they'll find themselves under the piercing glare of a growling archangel who's ready to snap if the opportunity is given. The archangel rarely does anything bad but he would truly not hold back protecting those he cares about.

It's even worse because you spoil him so much, like he's the most precious creation ever. You rarely rejects anything he ask, which angel!Lucifer likes taking advantage of when he would ask you to take a break but you don't listen. A simple “please” with his silly smile was enough for him to drag you out of your office and 'hang out' (relax) with him.

As the only friend he has in Heaven, Angel! Lucifer would be greatly influenced by whatever you're into and passionate about. He would try to keep up with your thoughts and try to understand you, like you do for him. He's not perfect, to say, but best believe he'll always strive to be a great company for you.

✧˖°. ࣪𖤐 𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫

✉ Hope you enjoyed it ᥫ᭡

[tarmac-rat]

I like the fact that if you really look closely at the lifepath choices in Cyberpunk 2077, you can see that there's parts about all three of them that really allows V to diametrically oppose Johnny. Like I think some are more obvious than others, but each path, in my opinion, does have a core element that directly opposes who Johnny is and the things that he stands for:

Corpo is reflective of their differences on a background level. I think that this one is the most blatant: the man who despises the machine being forced to team up with a former cog in the machine. The corporate-raised wunderkind versus the man who dedicated his life to tearing down everything they stood for. Even if they aren't working for Arasaka anymore, that influence is still there. How many times does V rely on their counter-intelligence training as a merc? Or gain a valuable piece of knowledge thanks to their experience working with, or even against, cutthroat corporate types? A Corpo!V and Johnny would spend their entire time together walking that thin edge of trust. V has to wonder if Johnny intends to screw them over because of their past employment for Arasaka, because you can take a rat out of the corpo but you can never take the corpo out of the rat, while Johnny has to worry if V actually does still have some underlying loyalty to their old company, at least enough to sell him out if they're pushed far enough. You can't build trust when all you can think about is if the other person is hiding a knife behind their back.

Nomad is reflective of their differences on a value level. Nomads represent many of the things that Johnny aspires to have: freedom, camaraderie, and a no-exception hatred of corps. But nomad values differ so greatly from who Johnny is as a person. They're honest; they keep their promises; they hold each other accountable for their mistakes yet always welcome each other back with open arms and unconditional support. All of those things are core flaws of Johnny's character. Nomads are honest, and Johnny is a pathological liar. Nomads keep their promises, and Johnny does nothing but break his. Nomads have unshakable bonds, and Johnny has never had a relationship with someone that he hadn't completely fucked up in some way or another. A Nomad!V carries many of these qualities with them into a new city, and Johnny right off the bat proves that he doesn't possess any of values they're trying so hard to hold on to. What's the point in putting your faith in someone who has done nothing but prove that they don't even want it, never mind deserve it?

Streetkid is reflective of their differences on a societal level. Johnny, for all of his swagger and postering, is not a true man of the people. He might know and empathize with the struggles of Night City but he didn't grow up in those neighborhoods, and in the 2010s and 20s definitely enjoys a greater amount of wealth and security compared to the average person that lived there (which is more pronounced in the TTRPG I think). Streetkid!V has been searching for that happiness and security and comes crawling back to Night City at the start of the game with their tail between their legs. It had to have been difficult for someone who spent their whole life in squalor being told by some terrorist from who knows where and way gone by-- a terrorist who dropped a bomb on their home so many years ago-- that they're weak, they're worthless, they're wrong. Johnny Silverhand doesn't care about the people. Johnny Silverhand only cares about himself, and when you grow up in a community who endure those struggles with you, that's something V can't dare look past.

[askagamedev]

Especially with so many projects that were never announced probably getting canceled right now due to layoffs and studios dissolving, how risky would it be for devs to keep personal copies of their work/builds?

I always thought NDAs were generally time limited, and at least that way the work wouldn't be entirely lost for ever. Is that even something devs generally want?

There are certain things that studios and companies can ask us not to do but have a real hard time preventing, especially if the company is going through a death spiral process. Keeping a personal copy of stuff I worked on, especially in an age of remote work, is one of those really hard-to-prevent things. If the company or studio is going under, almost everyone is losing their jobs and the motivation to maintain operational security is very low. Nobody in security cares when their main priority suddenly shifts to finding a new job. In these situations, leaked stuff happens a lot more often since there's little motivation for enforcement.

It's much harder for workers who are let go from a company that remains alive, since breaking NDA would result in being liable for a bunch of damages. However, if I don't disclose anything and just keep stuff private, the studio cares a lot less about whether I have those files. They don't really do much forensic analysis of the workstations of former employees, they mostly just wipe them clean in order to protect the company from potential liabilities from accidentally finding left-behind personal files of the former workers.

The thing about old game projects (especially for cancelled games) is that there's really only so long that the old stuff is even viable. The inevitable passing of time will decay any knowledge of the project and its workflow. If we release information and development stuff about games that were cancelled, say, two console generations ago, it is unlikely that the current IP holders and leadership would be super angry about it because so much time has passed. This is considerably different from releasing information about a game that was cancelled this year, where things are still raw and legal action is still a very legitimate threat.

The main benefit to holding on to old projects is primarily for personal education. There's a lot to be learned if one can go back and study the way things worked on an old project. How did they set things up and why? How can I learn what decisions my seniors and leads made, and why did they make those decisions? How did they solve these problems? Can I use those same techniques? There might be some element of internet influencer points if old stuff gets released to the public, but that typically gets glossed over the way trivia is treated. In my opinion, the real value in old project assets is in the educational content it can provide.

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[panda-noosh]

the barbie movie made me want to hug my grandmother

i went to see the new Barbie movie yesterday.

honestly, despite the hype of this film, i wasn’t all that interested in seeing it. barbies were never something i played with, and i’d never seen any of the other barbie films, and i had no idea how much of a message this movie would hold - so i just kind of. . . skimmed past it anytime it showed up on my feed.

but my two best friends were ecstatic, and because i love just being in the presence of people i love and appreciate, i decided to come along too. so i bought a ticket, got my popcorn - i even wore pink! we got our seats, and the movie began.

and right from the get-go, i knew this wasn’t a film to be messed with.

it sounds so dramatic, but it was just so good. i usually hate the cinema (autism, don’t ask...), but i sat through this film like a rock, honest to god. not once did i check the time to see when i could get up and leave. not once did i think it was dragging. i was genuinely so involved with this film as i was watching it, that it was a surprise when the end credits started rolling. i wanted more. i could have sat there, living in barbieland, forever. 

it’s a very feminist film, as i’m sure everybody knows by now. the way it was done was also perfect; i’m kind of getting sick of these ‘feminist films’ where the message is so. . . subtle. it’s one scene of a woman becoming CEO in a big name company, or a Mum finally getting the chance to live her life! don’t get me wrong, that’s always so lovely to see, but Barbie wasn’t subtle about the feminism in the slightest. our greta was not afraid to show the ugly truth of a woman’s world. she wasn’t afraid to hurt the feelings of men. she wasn’t being careful. in a fun and respectful way, she was able to illuminate the daily struggles of women all over the world, how desensitised we have come to the horrendous ways we have been treated over the years, the expectations set upon us that we don’t even question anymore. it showed women appreciating women, women being successful, women living for themselves. it was just fantastic, and it didn’t take itself too seriously, and it was beautiful.

i knew it was a good feminist film when my best friend reached over and held my hand for the last half of it. for no reason that i could pinpoint, she just reached over our drinks and took my hand in hers, just two women living in solidarity, struggling through the same patriarchal world. it was the type of film that made me want to go hug my grandmother. it made me want to compliment every single woman i encountered on the way back to my car. it reminded me that i am indeed a woman, and i am indeed living under the thumb of men in more ways than i was ever able to recognise, because it was just so normal. i’m so guilty of lowering my standards for men sometimes. i’m so guilty so letting them get away with things, because they’re men! they don’t know any better! i’m so guilty of giving into the patriarchal system, half my head on my own goals whilst the other half stays dead set on keeping everyone else happy. this movie reminded me that i - and everyone else - needs to find who they are without the influence of anyone else’s opinion or presence. 

so, overall, this movie was ten out of ten. one of the only ten out of ten films i’ve seen this year. i was in absolute awe of how a piece of media could be so funny yet so enlightening at the same time. 

thank you, greta gerwig. you created yet another masterpiece. 

[cythanadiel]

Hello! I wanted to ask about your oc, Ice. So the question is which agents Ice likes the company and doesn't like it much? Sorry for this strange question, but when I saw your oc and I really liked him and I saw some of him with Skye so I thought about what his relationship with others would be like.

Omg that's such a cute ask thank you!!! This got me really really excited💕💕💕

I made a small list of agents he likes, dislikes, is neutral about and his relationship to them underneath the line:

Agents he is tight with:

Reyna - I think Reyna and Ice are the closest to one another, not necessarily personality wise but definitely goal wise. I can definitely see them bonding and talking over their Sisters, as they share the same pain: Ice lost his, and Reyna is fighting to keep hers alive. He understands why Reyna is the way she is, and he cannot blame her for it. In fact, he would be subconsciously driven to help her gather souls.

Brim - Ice has a military background and sometimes talks with Brim about the time with the Special Forces. He holds deep respect for Brim as a commander and blindly puts his trust into him.

Sova - Same as with Brim, He respects Sova. Ice not only sees him as friendly and good company, but also as very competent and fierce. He appreciates his coldness on the battlefield and not letting emotions get in the way. He carries out commands without questioning a word, which Ice can relate to. It's like looking in the mirror, except the reflection smiles back.

Skye - The day she threw him over her shoulder and slammed him into 3 walls was the day he straight up couldn't get his mind off of her. That girl can pack a punch and does not bet an eye at getting her hands dirty. He was VERY much smitten by her. Although I don't think I could say the same about Skye tbh. She's the sole reason he wakes up at 4am to go jogging together.

Raze - While Ice is very much for Order and discipline, he likes Raze's Chaos. There is something about her energy that gets even his bitch face to smile.

Deadlock - That is....they're the same person. Personality and very close background wise they're literally the same person. Hell, Ice even lived a large part of his life in Norway, (he's not Scandinavian tho) and even speaks a little Norwegian. They're definitely gym and sparring partners as well.

Clove - While I can't say too much on Clove yet, I do feel that they'd get along, solely because they give little sibling vibes. He had one sibling he couldn't protect, he sure as hell won't let that ever happen again. So imagine the relief he'd feel after Clove comes back to life, seemingly unharmed.

Viper - Viper sees herself as a monster and had to do things beyond her Control (or maybe it was all in her Control) and Ice can heavily relate to that. He has had some of the same experiences, yet he still sees himself as Human. All in all he genuinely pities Viper.

Cypher - He's fascinated by Cypher and isn't actually too bothered by his secrecy. He understands the need for it and wishes it'd be the standard for the other agents as well. Plus, in the strangest way possible, Cypher is like a father figure to him.

Agents he's neutral about/likes them:

Sage - He likes her healing skills but hates the Mother Hen vibe coming from her. He thinks it influences her and others too much on the battlefield. She could be so much more than just the nice healer lady next door.

Astra - He's genuinely delighted by her presence, but they don't have much in common. Though he's legitimately scared of her powers.

Chamber - He shared the same opinion as everyone else when Chamber first joined, and he still keeps an eye out on him, But Ice can't help but be intrigued by his efficient weapon designs and use of nanotech. They're currently in the talks about nanotech prosthetics and improvements.

Jett - Same as with Clove, Jett gives lil sis vibes. She is also very promising on the field and if she took things a little more serious, she could become very deadly on the field. (Like them instalocks on immortal)

Omen - Similar to Viper, Ice pities Omen. They both share the same pain of being torn apart and coming back to life, but as changed people, possibly without being able to go back to what they once were. Although Ice is, to some degree, scared of becoming like Omen.

Fade - Initially he was ready to snap her neck when she leaked everyone's profiles, and caused the nightmares, but... he ended up forgiving her after learning her motives, that she was doing it because she was looking for someone very dear to her. He would practically do the same if he was in her shoes.

Harbor - INCREDIBLE duo, even if they're not always on the same wavelength. They're also gym buddies.

KAY/O - they're not too friendly with one another, but they do play pool or cards, and they both enjoy taking money from Breach. It's the one thing they can bond over.

Gekko - Ice sees Gekko as a Mini-Me if things hadn't gone south in his past. Gekkos connection to Reyna only strengthens that. Also he needs someone to help him dye his hair, as Ice does a very poor job on his own. On a side note,, I constantly get the feeling that Gekko would fanboy a little over Ice.

Neon - He gets motion sick from her zip zapping. She's also a little too snappy for him, a la "What's with this sassy lost child?" Although he can appreciate her ruthlessness and that she, quite literally, can zap you out of existence within the blink of an eye. He likes that she's more serious on the field despite being one of the youngest members.

Agents he actively dislikes:

Phoenix - Ice has active PTSD cuz of how many times he's nearly been burned around Phoenix. He tries to stay at least 50m away from him if possible.

Killjoy - He's experienced KJs bots first hand and hates them. But also, he thinks she shouldn't be on the field, especially when she's hiding behind her toys.

Breach - Opposite to Raze, Ice HATES Breach's Chaos. He does not understand how the two got along in the first place and how Breach hasn't been booted yet. Guess he'll have to trust Viper's judgement on him. To Breach tho, Ice is just another loyal dog, one that can be tossed aside when he's of no use anymore.

Yoru - Too cocky with no direct excuse for it. You can't even say his skills match his ego, because they do not. Ice is about staying humble and giving your best, and if you don't, then stfu. Plus, he's a direct adversary when it comes to Skye

Iso - Him and Iso basically have the same background but he wouldn't like Iso because he thinks he's taking the easy way out of his contract. Plus, Iso listening to music while on a mission or getting easily distracted gives Ice the sense of unprofessionalism, no matter how good he actually is.

[urlocallesbiab]

thinking about dirk and farah parallels... i think what's similar between them is that the thing that makes each of them special, their powers (holistic detection and one-woman-army skills) are something that they haven't picked for themselves, that was forced upon them from above (dirk is an angel of the universe's will, and farah is her father's daughter), was demanded they cultivate to unreachable perfection to the (dis)pleasure (dissappointment, disgracre) of their father/-figure (try again, svlad; try harder, farah) — but also it is something they reclaim, and accept, and make theirs within the bounds of the agency. dirk can't help who he is but he chose calling himself a detective, and farah can't help who she is but she chose to open a detective agency. dirk finally has people who can keep him company on inevitable adventures, farah finally has people who appreciate her hard work and skill. they do not change their natures, but instead find — build — a space where they can be accepted; celebrated, even. loved.

there's a post by generalized-incompetence, about how todd's character growth goes along the "take control of your life" message of the show, and farah's along the "you can't control everything" one; repentance vs acceptance. and i agree! i think the two of them as dirk's friends represent the two halves that he, as the story's protagonist and thus the embodiment of everything, must try and balance within himself. it's about the complementing influences, inspiration vs assurance; and i think dirk really is a good influence on farah. being around him helps her accept both herself — feel needed, wanted, validated, accomplished, stretch the muscles she's spent her whole life building — and also the world around her. farah is (less now than at the beginning) a control freak, and every misfortune, big or small, she perceived as a personal failure – she's responsible for people she loves, they depend on her, if patrick gets hurt, if lydia gets hurt, it's her fault, her fault, her fault; she must be in full control of the situation! but with dirk she suddenly finds that she cannot. if he is meant to survive, he will be miraculously saved, and if he's meant to come to harm, he will be bizarrely wounded; dirk moves along a path in the sky larger than life, and farah can only hope to grasp at it, not reign it in. the best she can offer is support; the best she can offer is her best, not perfect. if she is to stick by dirk, the wild, godawful, unpredictable, incomprehensible, incredible dirk, she is to accept that she can't control everything. and so she does. it's not an easy change (the time travel was hard to fit into her worldview, and she still struggles — is still on her path), but a necessary one: she is, after all, one of the imperfect, free, wonderful freaks.

that she makes dirk happier is obvious: he is but a fountain of love, and it spills out of him freely with every bob of his head. but it's important to me to remember that he, too, makes farah happy, genuinely and deeply. there are many opinions in this fandom — about as many as there are fans — on who farah is, what does she want, how does she feel about the agency, and what does the future hold for her; i, personally, am a firm believer that she belongs at the agency. she still has to figure herself out, of course, to complete her arc and grow into herself, unbidden by expectations and blooming (and that's a whole another micro-essay unto itself, so let's table it for now); but joining, funding, opening the agency wasn't a rash decision, or a stepping stone, or a burden — it is a place where she can be, is free to be, wants to be (herself). a place she carved out for herself and her people: a freak hub, where she's the second-in-command freak. i think she's as much glad to be there, and instrumental to "there" existing at all, as todd is. in general, i view all three of them as integral, inseparable, experiencing equally intense affection towards each of the others (even though the flavors may vary from romance to queerplatonic bond to friendship (in that order: brotzly, todd&farah, dirk and farah; yes, i am rather predictable)), supporting equally strong and meaningful relationships. the three of them are a little family, and they all love each other very much :3

[panda-writes-kpop]

Detective Lee

A/N: Hi guys, girls, and non-binary pearls! First of all, Happy Dami Day! I’ve been waiting for this day so I can release my pride and joy of a fic that I’ve been holding back for a month or two. I hope you enjoy this, and let me know how you like it! I enjoy reading the feedback and asks you send me about fics! :) Also, this is a long one, so grab a drink and something to eat if you’re going to read this in one go.

WARNING: This fic is VERY LONG (21.9k words to be exact) so this may crash your app if you’re a mobile user. I’d recommend viewing this fic on a computer or a mobile browser.

TW: A bit of Gahdong and a lot of Suayeon, Suayeon angst, SuA and the reader get into it for a hot minute but then they make up, alcohol, plenty of food mentions, 17th/18th century AU with a bit of period-relevant misogyny, the romance may be a bit cringe, reader has MAJOR mommy issues (same tbh), missing parent trope, based on Enola Holmes 1 + 2 since I’m obsessed with those movies, this fic is completely self-serving and I’m not sorry about that :D

Summary: (Lord help me how do I summarize 21.9k words into two sentences-) A detective’s first case always leaves a mark on them. Dami’s first case involves chasing down a mysterious individual that’s consumed her waking nights and days, and the completion of this case leads to a sequence of events that even the great Detective Lee could not predict.

♡ Masterlist ♡

"Be careful around those Lee girls, Y/N-ah, because they, along with their mother, are nothing but trouble! Don't let those Kim girls influence you too much either because I do not trust them as far as I could throw them." Your mother scolds you as you readjust your outfit.

"Yes, mother. Would you like to criticize anything else about me and the company I keep?" You harshly say before backing away from the mirror.

"You could use a haircut." She blankly says as you sigh deeply.

"I think you know where I am headed, mother. I will be home before dark." You tell her before grabbing your satchel along with the handheld mirror that your father gave you before his disappearance a few years ago.

Oh Father, you have no idea how much I miss you… Mother does too, but her way of showing it is much different than mine.

"Do not let Kim Bora ruin that outfit of yours!" She yells as you open the door to your family home.

"I will sow it back up if anything happens to it." You reassure her before heading outside.

"And if Lee Siyeon tries to make any moves on you, you tell her that she can-"

You sigh before slamming the door behind her.

Maybe that will give her my true opinion on her nagging.

You hike up the bottom of your outfit before running along the dirt road that leads from your house to the main path that connects the country homes to the city. Along that main path was the Kim residence, where you met up with SuA nearly every day.

You'd usually head into town together, arm-in-arm in order to discourage suitors from trying anything. Today, however, SuA had told you that she planned on visiting the Lee residence, or rather, planned on trying to woo her way into the Lee residence.

Despite what your mother thought, the Lee family was very private. Besides an occasional carriage, no one really came in or out of the giant mansion that the three girls and their mother lived in. This had caused many rumors to float around about the four residents, which you and SuA had been eavesdropping on while in town.

Their mother, Mrs. Lee, had the most interesting rumors by far. People had constantly been gossiping about her husband, since he hadn't been seen in the city in years. There were rumors of a mistress that had taken his attention, or maybe he worked overseas and sent money to his family in order to support them. Some even assumed her to be mad since she had some radical views for such a time period. You doubted that rumor since her kindness could be seen through her many donations to the city and its welfare.

Lee Siyeon had captured SuA's curiosity the most, and you didn't blame her. Siyeon was the resident who made the most appearances by far. She was a charmer, which had rumors of witchcraft floating about every time she came into town. Her wink had once sent a woman into cardiac arrest, but that was just a coincidence in your mind. SuA had tried to capture Siyeon's attention multiple times, and succeeded once on your most recent trip into town. A kiss on the hand and sweet promises had put SuA into a spell, which was the main cause for today's outing.

Of course, you couldn't mention Lee Siyeon without bringing her main accomplice, the youngest sibling, into the picture. While Lee Siyeon was dignity and grace personified, Lee Gahyeon was the troublemaker of the family. Running through the stalls and grabbing whatever she fancied was a favorite pastime of hers. Most let her get away with it because, like her sister, she had a charming smile and a way with words that would bend anyone to her beck and call. You and SuA had bumped into her once while she was running away, and you helped Gahyeon up as SuA distracted the guard chasing after her long enough for the young girl to make a quick escape.

Lee Yubin was the girl that not even the gossiping townspeople could figure out. She made less public appearances than her mysterious mother, which had people assuming that the middle Lee sibling was most likely dead, or had gone off with her father to god-knows-where. Although Siyeon and Gahyeon were quick to correct anyone who called her Yubin since she preferred the name Dami, or at least, that's what you heard from other people.

The dirt road that you were following quickly swallowed your small home up as you glanced behind you.

Thank goodness Mother is not following me… but I should keep moving because I don't want to be late again.

You cringe at the thought of another lecture from SuA as you pick up the pace. The spring weather was pleasant enough for you to admire the scenery as you turn onto the main road.

You don't have to think as your feet have memorized the path to the Kim household.

You might not have known much about the Lee sisters, but your mother was right about the Kim sisters: they were nothing but trouble.

Kim Minji was the ringleader, although she managed to talk her way out of most of the trouble that she dragged her sisters into. You heard from SuA that lots of suitors would come knocking on the family's door because Minji had been described as the most beautiful girl in the world. You'd definitely agree with them, but Minji has been like an older, wiser sister to you since you were younger.

Kim Yoohyeon was the youngest in the family, and her jokes and charm constantly captivated the younger gentlefolk in town. Since she was still finishing her studies, Yoohyeon had claimed that she was too preoccupied for a relationship, but you could've sworn that you once saw her sneaking into town with a rose in hand when you were walking home late at night.

Mr. and Mrs. Kim had become like a second set of parents to you, especially after your father disappeared from his business one night. Mr. Kim had a soft spot for you, and he'd teach you many of the activities and life lessons that your father missed out on. Mrs. Kim was a strong baker as well, and you were her favorite kid to test new recipes on.

"Hey, you are late!" A loud voice yells, and you turn your head towards the sound of her voice.

Ah, of course, how could I forget about my partner-in-crime?

Kim Bora, or SuA, as you often called her, had become synonymous with your name. Wherever one of you was, the other was just behind. Besides that, you and her didn't have much of a reputation in town. Sure, SuA got into the occasional scuffle with a drunk gentleman, but she was a good woman with a good heart.

You, however, knew a different version of SuA - the true version. She was loud and eccentric, and her scolding became a way to mock your overbearing mother. You were there for her nonetheless, as she was with you.

This, however, had led you to this moment, where you were wondering what exactly you were doing with SuA.

"Sorry, I got lost in thought while I was heading over here." You shyly admit as she scoffs.

"I can tell. You are still spaced out. Good thing I am here to bring you back!" She says as you smile at her enthusiasm.

"Are you sure you want to do this? We could get in serious trouble if we get caught sneaking into a much richer residence-"

"Oh, cut the bullshit, Y/N. We will be fine!" SuA pulls a piece of paper from her dress pocket before handing it to you. "Besides, who said that we were sneaking in?"

You unfold the crumpled paper before reading the words on the paper.

You have captivated me, like no other has before.

Would you do me the honor of joining me at my humble estate?

Best, L.S.

"That was short." You say before handing her the paper back. "Guess she is not much of a poet?"

"Not everyone can be like those romantics that you read about in novels!" She yells, and you don't cover your ears in time.

"Yeah, SuA, I know. I am still waiting for someone that is worth my time." You say after SuA takes your hand in hers. "Why do you want me to join you?"

"I need some emotional support." SuA softly whispers as the wind blows her dark brown hair. "Besides, are you not just a little curious if those rumors are true?"

"Okay, maybe I am… but I am not a gossip, I swear!" You plead your case as SuA pulls you down the road. "Hey, do not drag me down the road! I can walk by myself."

You brush off the dust on your outfit that SuA had left in her wake.

I wish I was as careless as she was…

"Walk faster, then. We do not have all day." She scolds you again as you chuckle and catch up with her pace.

"You've got this, SuA. You are as charming as they come." You look over as she lets out a shaky breath.

"You think so?"

"Oh, no…" You pause as SuA looks at you with nervous eyes, "I know so."

You yelp after she smacks on the shoulder.

"Yah, you are so mean to me!"

~

You both look up at the large metal gate that keeps you and SuA from entering the Lee mansion.

"This was such a bad idea… why did you encourage me to do this?" She accuses you as you gasp in response.

"Me!?!? You were the one who wanted to come here. You dragged me along to go on your romantic escapade, and now I am making you go through with it." You firmly say as she tightly grips onto your arm.

"But whyyyy~" She whines, and you sigh.

"You will complain if we do or do not go in, and I would rather you have regrets over bad memories than 'what-ifs'." You nod towards the gate as SuA looks away from you. "Besides, someone is unlocking the gate right now."

She yelps as you watch a man unlock the gate and open it for the both of you.

"You are SuA, and her guest, correct?" He says, and you nod on SuA's behalf.

"Allow me to welcome you to the Lee residence." He quickly locks the gate behind you and SuA, and you stare at the wonderland of apple trees and rose bushes in front of you. "I will escort you to the residential section of the property."

"There is more than one part of the property??" You whisper to SuA as she lets go of her death grip on your arm.

"Yeah, they're rich-rich. Did you not know this?" SuA softly chuckles as you shake your head. "You are so naive that it is cute."

She pats your head, and you huff as the two of you walk towards the giant mansion in the distance.

"Excuse me, sir, how long have the Lee's occupied this home?" You ask, and the man thinks for a moment before answering.

"I have had the pleasure of serving three generations of this wonderful family, so I would say that it has been a long, long while." He laughs to himself. "Although the children have been in more trouble now, I can remember seeing the Mistress of the house running around these halls as a child herself."

"You are a loyal butler, I can tell." You say, and you see him crack a quick smile before returning to a stoic expression.

"This family has been nothing but good to me. I have no complaints at all." He says before stopping at the entrance of the mansion. "This is your stop, Ms. Kim. May I escort you inside?"

SuA nervously gulps as you squeeze her arm in reassurance.

"I would like that."

She quickly lets you go before taking the arm of the butler. He walks a few steps forward before turning back to you.

"Oh, and if you would like, there are more apple trees around the back of the property. They look quite pretty this time of year." He smiles at you, and you offer a small one back.

"I might just have to check it out, then." You say as you watch SuA and the butler walk into the house.

She's charming in her own respect, and I know she can handle her own. I just hope this works out for her since I want to see her happy.

You know that SuA will no't want to make this encounter quick, so you decide to follow the butler's directions and head around the back of the mansion.

Wow… this place is so scenic and wondrous… I wouldn't want to leave if I lived here either!

Apple trees were randomly scattered around the back, as if they were trying to direct you to something that was beyond comprehension. If you were younger (and braver), you'd climb one of those trees, but your balance isn't as good as it used to be, plus your mother would kill you if you managed to put yourself in harm's way while out with SuA.

She'd kill me if she knew that I was here, so it doesn't really matter anyways.

The daylight only enhances the beauty of the backyard, so you quickly find yourself exploring as if you had become a child again. You weaved through the trees, and you might have stolen an apple to snack on, but who would notice when there was a full forest of apples ripe for the picking?

After finishing the apple, you toss it aside before placing your hand on one of the trees.

Nature really is a modern wonder… I can't believe people would rather spend time in the city than be out here.

You pause after you spot another figure resting against a tree that was just a bit too far away for you to make out any of their features.

Maybe it's a servant taking a break? I wouldn't mind doing that if I worked here.

You sneak closer before ducking behind a nearby tree.

I hope they didn't see me!

You spare a glance, but you find yourself gawking at the stranger as you realize that a beautiful woman is resting against the tree while writing in a brown journal.

Oh my goodness…

Her soft brown hair carelessly floats in the wind, as if that's where it naturally belongs. Occasionally, she brushes a piece of it out of her face or mouth before continuing to write. Circular glasses frame her small face and deep brown eyes.

She scrunches her nose when she vigorously crosses out something in the book before continuing to write in ink. She does pause to admire the scenery, and to dip her quill in the ink pot that is balanced on a couple of books that are sitting next to her.

The white blouse that she's wearing is slightly unbuttoned, and her brown pants are stained with a mixture of dirt and grass. Her messy appearance would give the notion of improperness, but the way she rolls her shoulders back and calmly breathes when frustrated with something in the journal tells you that she's as refined as they come.

Mother did say that money can't buy class, but she seems to be doing just fine as is.

She looks up again, and this time, she looks in your direction. You gasp before trying to hide behind a tree.

"Is someone there?" She softly calls out as you hear shuffling from behind you. "Are you lost?"

You remain quiet in the hope that she'll just forget about you, but the footsteps continue to approach until they stop. You guess that she's just a foot or two from the tree that you're using as cover, and the volume of her sigh is enough to prove your point.

Your heart pounds, deep and heavy, inside of your chest. A million possibilities run through your mind, but the one that comes from her lips doesn't cross your mind at all.

"Gahyeon, if that is you, can you please stop spying on me? I told Mother that I like to be left alone." She waits for a moment before letting out another sigh. "Or, at least, can you tell Siyeon to stop asking me about a suitor? I am busy trying to start a detective agency, and I don't need any distractions."

Detective agency, huh? So, that's what the middle Lee sister has spent her time doing here… it's ambitious, but I like it.

You wait for Dami to walk a few steps away, and then you call out to her.

"You should start that detective agency. The city could use someone that is looking out for the people who are too busy to watch their own backs."

"Who are you?" She asks before turning around.

"Wait," You say while continuing to hide behind the tree, "do not come any closer."

"Why not?"

A devious idea forms in your head.

"Every great detective has to solve the first mystery, right? That mystery that launches them into the rest of their career."

"I don't think I understand what you are saying… do you require my help?" She gently asks, and your heart softens at the selflessness in her voice.

"No, Dami, not in that way. Your first mystery is to find who I am… if you want to, of course." You tease while still offering her an out.

The silence is unbearable until Dami begins to speak again.

"I am interested… do I have any clues to work with, or am I just supposed to listen to the sound of your melodic voice?"

You laugh before smacking a hand over your mouth.

"Nevermind… I think I just got one." You hear her run off before quickly returning.

You wait before hearing the sound of her writing in the journal as you try to keep your cool.

"Easily charmed, and a sweet laugh… is there anything else I should add to this list?"

Your face heats up at her words, but you push down the flustered emotion inside of you in order to tease her just a little more.

"My friend is interested in being courted by Siyeon." You say, and Dami laughs.

"That really narrows it down."

"Well, detective, have you figured it out yet?" You sweetly ask.

"Not yet, but I do have a lead to chase."

You laugh again before slowly backing away from the tree.

"The game is afoot, Dami… I look forward to hearing from you again."

You don't bother to hear what she says next as you, as quietly as possible, escape into the maze of apple trees.

You retrace your steps, and you find yourself in front of the mansion as SuA exits the manor with a big grin on your face.

"How did it go?" You excitedly ask as she gives you a big hug.

"I think she is the one… I am being serious, you know." SuA looks in your eyes, and you give her a warm smile.

"I am glad to hear that, SuA."

"What about you? You did not just stand out here all by yourself, did you?"

"No…" You bite your lip as you think back to your encounter with Dami. "I just got myself into a good sort of trouble, as you would expect."

"You are being mysterious… I like it!" She cheerfully says. "C'mon, let us go home before your mom hates me for the rest of our lives."

"I hate to break it to you, SuA, but she already does not like you."

"Damn it."

~

"You are not going into town like that, you-"

"I will see you when it gets dark, Mother." You darkly say before grabbing the satchel and stuffing the handheld mirror in your bag.

Father, wherever you may be, give me the strength to deal with your horrible taste in women.

"Do not be seen with that Kim-"

"Oh, hush, Mother!" You scold her for the first time, and the surprise in her eyes is enough to motivate you to leave the house immediately.

I've never done that before… it felt kind of good, to be honest.

You nearly smack into SuA as she pulls you down your porch and down the dirt road.

"What are you-"

"We are going into town right now! There's something that you've got to see!" She yells, and you flinch as her voice reverberates in your ears.

"I can hear you quite fine from here, SuA-"

"Lee Dami made an appearance in town!"

You pause in the middle of the road, and SuA huffs before trying to pull you along again. You're like a dead weight at the bottom of the lake, or a sturdy oak in a strong windstorm, and you refuse to move as you comprehend the words that just came out of her mouth.

"I beg your pardon, Bora, can you repeat yourself?" You ask in disbelief as SuA stops trying to pull you for a moment.

"Lee Dami is out with her sisters in town, but trust me, it gets better! I heard from Minji, who heard it from that cute florist that she is looking for a suitor who came to visit her yesterday."

You cough as you try to hide your shock.

"Oh my… I hope the fruits of her labor are merry." You softly say as SuA squeezes your hand.

"You know we can gossip and walk, right?"

You shake the nerves out of your system as you nod and begin to walk alongside SuA.

"Yeah, I know." You observe the afternoon sun, high in the sky, before directing your attention to SuA. "What happened between you and Siyeon yesterday?"

"Oh, you would not believe me if I told you! It would seem like something out of your fantasy books." She softens as she recalls the memory. "We had a good, long chat about the future and what we are both looking for. She says that she is open to courting, but Siyeon wants to explore the world a little more before settling down."

"How are you feeling about that?" You ask to keep yourself engaged in the conversation, and to keep your mind from wandering to her.

There's nothing to think about, and besides, you're the one who challenged her to this game. You should see if she's a good detective or not.

You smile to yourself as SuA begins to talk again.

Focus, Y/N! You can't be distracted around SuA, or she'll never let you live this down.

"I am actually okay with that. We still have a bit of our studies to finish before we can fully put ourselves out there, you know." She offers you a wink, and you scoff.

"It is bold of you to assume that someone has caught my heart." You say as SuA pokes your side. "Now, what was that for?!?"

She laughs after you hollered at her touch.

"You seem different from when I was with you yesterday. Who knows, maybe you snuck off with some gardener while I was talking to Siyeon yesterday…" She trails off while observing your reaction.

You try to remain stoic, but your hand shakes as you comb a piece of hair out of your face, and SuA yelps before pointing an accusing finger in your face.

"I KNEW IT!"

"SuA, please stop yelling. We are almost in the city." You point at the approaching tall buildings as you and SuA navigate to the side of the road in order to let a horse and carriage through.

"Okay, right, who was it? I need a name, address, family history if it was given, and-"

"SuA! Do you really think I know that information?" You ask before letting go of SuA's hand and folding your arms into your chest. "You are blowing this way out of proportion, plus you have not told me everything about your face-to-face meeting with Siyeon. Who knows what you two were doing behind closed doors?"

SuA sharply smacks your shoulder, and you yelp in pain as she turns her head away from you.

"How dare you accuse me of being improper! You know I am as proper as ladies come."

You try not to snort as you laugh.

"Good joke, SuA. I heard the taverns are looking for a jester, if you're interested."

SuA slaps your shoulder again, and you grumble this time as SuA defiantly sneers at you.

"Oh, you deserved that one."

"C'mon, we are not going to find Siyeon if we keep fighting like this." You say as SuA looks around like a lost puppy.

"Siyeon? Where is she?" She softly asks as you cackle.

"It appears you have fallen for another of my tricks."

You wink before running through the busy crowd of people in the city.

"HEY! GET BACK HERE!" She screeches before quickly chasing after you.

You laugh like a maniac as you listen to SuA's footsteps while running. She's still trailing behind you, by a far distance, but she'll catch you if you stop soon.

I know exactly where I'm gonna lead her.

You smirk as you continue to weave through people. Most let you through with a grumble, a chuckle, or a sweet smile. You reciprocate whatever they give you with whatever energy you have left before you take a sharp left into the business district.

The businessmen pay you no mind as you continue to run straight past them. You slow down as you see exactly what you're looking for.

It's the only tavern on this street, and Siyeon is known to frequent it. SuA'll thank me later.

You calmly walk into the bar, as if you're not sweating up a storm. You take a seat at the bar as a bartender approaches you.

"What can I get you?"

"A glass of water will be fine." You say between sharp inhales.

They chuckle before bringing you what you requested.

"Sounds like you need it. Do not work too hard, alright?"

"Trust me, I do not plan on doing so." You joke before nearly finishing the glass in one sip. "Thank you, by the way."

"It is no issue, alright? Let me know if you need a refill, or if you would like to order anything else." They say before walking over to a customer on the other side of the bar.

You relax as you enjoy the atmosphere of the bar, and shortly after, you hear SuA come clattering through the door like a tornado coming to wreck whatever was in its path. Unfortunately, for you, you're not a mighty oak in this scenario, but rather, you're a flimsy leaf that will be torn apart by the windstorm that the tornado creates.

SuA stomps over to you, and she opens her mouth to tear you and your dignity into pieces, but luckily for you, a savior with a blonde wolf-cut comes to your rescue.

"Ah, SuA, I did not know you went here!" Siyeon smiles before leaning against the bar.

"Oh, you know me, I visit this place all of the time!" She excitedly says before giving you a death glare while Siyeon isn't looking her way. "I did not know that you hung out near this part of the city."

"Yeah, I come here a lot too. It's a shame we have not run into each other more since this is my escape from the main part of the city." Siyeon sighs before taking a drink out of a small glass. "I do not mind the attention from time to time, but I would like to not be surrounded when I leave my house, you know?"

"Absolutely!" SuA cheerfully says. "Could you spare some time for a drink or two?"

"I would like that, but I would also like to know who your friend here is. You were the one who came with SuA to my home, right?"

"Oh, me?" You say, surprised that she even noticed you. "Yeah, I am. You take such good care of your property."

"I know. We are so lucky to have such a great team of gardeners and housekeepers. There's no way we could keep up with the maintenance without them." Siyeon smiles before taking another sip of her drink. "Would you like to join us?"

"Oh no, I would not want to be a bother-"

"Please join us, it would be my pleasure. If money is an issue, I can-"

"No, Siyeon, I have money. I would just rather observe than be involved in any antics, that is all." You say, and Siyeon nods.

"Excitement is not for everyone, I get it."

"Excitement is for me, however. What do you fancy, Siyeon?" SuA saddles up to Siyeon's side as you scoot into a chair farther away from the two of them.

"Well, besides you, I am a fan of scotch and beer."

"Oh, you flirt~" SuA playfully hits Siyeon's shoulder, and the other girl laughs before SuA lays her head on Siyeon's shoulder.

You finish your water as you smile at the two of them.

I guess that was one productive chat that they had…

The door to the bar opens again, and you sneak a quick glance at the pair who's entering.

Well, look who it is… I guess good things really do come in threes.

Gahyeon storms through the door so she can give Siyeon a surprise back hug, and Dami slides in with a slight smirk on her face.

You nervously bite your lip as you direct your attention back to Siyeon and SuA.

"Ah, Gahyeon, you came early." Siyeon chuckles before rubbing Gahyeon's hair. "This is SuA, the girl I invited to our home."

"Ah, it is great to meet you! Though, I swear, I think we have met before…" Gahyeon trails off before letting go of Siyeon.

"Yeah, I was one of the two people who helped to save your ass when you were running from the cops in the market." SuA jokes as the bartender hands her a glassful of some brown liquid.

"Gahyeon, did you get in trouble again?" Siyeon tuts before shaking her head. "You really are your mother's daughter."

Dami silently approaches behind before slipping between you and SuA.

Does she really have to position herself right there? Now I can't help but stare!

"You are surprised by this behavior, Siyeon? You know this is how she acts without a chaperone around." Dami mutters before readjusting her glasses.

"I do not need a chaperone!" Gahyeon huffs. "Besides, you're one to talk about behavior. You never leave the mansion… like you are some sort of shut-in!"

"I prefer my own company rather than the company of others. It is nothing personal to them." Dami shrugs before refusing the drink that the bartender offers. "No thank you, I only drink on special occasions."

"We have company around, you two." Siyeon gestures to SuA first before nodding at you. "Can you save the squabbling for home?"

"Fine." Gahyeon reluctantly agrees before turning to SuA. "You are so beautiful, by the way."

"Oh, thank you, but I think I am a little too old for you~" SuA teases as Gahyeon immediately backpedals.

"Wait, no, I did not mean it like that-"

"Aww, Gahyeon, you are trying to court someone who interests me? Well, as a big sister, it is my duty to fulfill your wishes above mine." Siyeon adds on as Gahyeon turns pink.

She squeals as Siyeon and SuA burst out laughing. You smile at the interaction before pulling something special from your satchel.

You lose your nerve a bit as your heart beats out of control, but Dami is so focused on the conversation going on next to you that you'd be surprised that she even noticed you at all. You feel yourself deflate at that revelation, but you shake off the feeling of rejection in order to give yourself courage for what's to come.

Just breathe, Y/N, and let your heart take control. You've got this, don't lose your cool.

You slip the bundle of calla lilies next to Dami as quickly and quietly as you can before slipping out of your barstool. No one notices you leaving until you hear Siyeon say something to Dami.

"Hey, when did those flowers get there?"

You escape from the building without hearing another whisper about what was going on inside of that bar.

~

"You have done so many favors for me that I'm not sure how I should pay you back." SuA mutters as you help set the table.

"Please do not mention it. I like being around you since you drive me less up-the-wall than my mother does." You chuckle to yourself before adjusting the position of the silverware on the table. "We did a good job. The house is spotless, and the dinner table looks great."

"I am going to take that as a compliment, whether you meant it that way or not."

You laugh before peeking your head into the kitchen.

"Do you need any help, Mrs. Kim?"

"No, I have it all handled. Everything has been prepared in advance. Thank you for the offer, though. I appreciate your willingness." Ms. Kim smiles when SuA walks into the kitchen. "Can you get your father from the backyard? I want him to be here when our guests arrive."

"Of course!" She smiles before leaving the room and the house.

"Thank you, again, for all you do for SuA and the rest of our family. I don't know how I can thank you more than I already have."

"Do not mention it, Ms. Kim. I just want what's best for SuA, that is all." You sweetly say as you hear a knock on the door. "Would you like me to get that?"

"Yes, please! I am still adding the finishing touches to the ham." She excitedly says as you head towards the front door.

You take a deep breath before opening the door.

Siyeon is the first person you see, and she offers you a warm smile.

"You look well. I have not seen you in a long time, so I feared that something may have happened to you." Siyeon admits as you place a hand on her shoulder.

"I appreciate the concern, but you need not worry about me. I am grown, you know, plus someone has to take care of SuA when you are not around."

Siyeon laughs as you allow her to enter the house.

"I promise to take good care of her, now and always."

Gahyeon is the next one who comes out of the four-person carriage, and she offers you a toothy grin.

"You are the other person that was there when I was trying to get away from the police, right?"

You nod as she giggles to yourself.

"Thank you for helping me that day. Your kindness really influenced my decision-making from then on."

You raise an eyebrow at her, and she gives you a subtle wink before slipping inside of the house.

She's a sneaky fox, alright.

Mrs. Lee and Dami walk to the house arm-in-arm, and they both stop a foot away from you.

"Are you a member of the Kim family, or a servant, perhaps?" Mrs. Lee asks, and you shyly smile as your eyes focus on your feet instead of her.

"No, but I do know SuA quite well."

"She does have siblings, right?" You nod as you continue to look down. "You can make eye contact with me, dear, I do not bite."

You cover your face in order to hide your embarrassment as Dami sighs.

"Mother, I think you are going to scare them off."

"Oh, I am so, so sorry! Please excuse my forwardness, I did not mean to offend you."

"No, no, you are quite fine." You softly say before making eye contact with Ms. Lee and Dami.

See, you have not burst into flames! This is fine, you will be fine.

"The Kim sisters… well, Minji is studying abroad and Yoohyeon went to boarding school for the season, so it is usually just SuA and her parents here." You explain as Ms. Lee nods.

"A home is only a house when everyone is gone, right?"

"Mother, you are speaking in riddles again…" Dami gently warns as Ms. Lee shakes her head.

"Ah, what was I thinking? You have not met Dami yet, have you?" She lets go of Dami's arm before giving her an encouraging smile. "I will let you two chat since it would be rude of me not to introduce myself to SuA's parents, given the matter we are discussing."

You look at Ms. Lee with confusion as you let her walk past you.

I'm not going to even ask about that one since I'm not sure I want to even know.

"Ah, I know your name, but you have not a clue about who I am." You quickly introduce yourself as a small smile spreads across her face.

"Do not feel the need to be so formal around me. I like to keep up appearances for my mother's sake. She has enough trouble on her hands with Gahyeon and Siyeon, not including her own struggles." Dami says before offering you her arm. "Will you show me around the property? I would love to see this place through someone else's eyes."

"I would be pleased to do so." You quickly take her arm before leading her around the back to admire SuA's backyard.

A few rose bushes and a couple of small trees dot the backyard, but the main attraction is the mighty oak that rests directly in the middle of the backyard.

I remember when SuA and I used to climb that thing as kids, when we were less afraid of being hurt… those were simpler times, for sure.

"Do you live around here?"

"Yeah, just down the road." You bite your tongue in an effort to keep the words from spilling past your lips like a broken faucet.

"I apologize for my lack of manners, but may I ask you a question?" Dami suddenly says, and your feet pause along with any sort of coherent thought.

"I see no issue with curiosity." You say after mentally scrambling to figure out what to say.

"Do you admire flowers past their physical form?"

"As in symbolism?" You ask for clarification, and she nods. "But of course! I like to read in my free time."

"You do?" She pauses for a moment as another smile graced her lips. "What do you like to read?"

"Oh no, my taste in books would bore you." You confess before Dami gently squeezes your arm.

You hate the way that your heart rate speeds up at such a simple touch, but you have to remain calm and focused in your efforts to not make a fool of yourself.

"Now you've only made me more curious." She says, and you laugh.

"Well, if you insist, but you must not be too surprised by anything I say." You let a smile rest on your face as you recall some of your favorite books. "I like to read a bit of everything, but romance is my favorite."

"A romantic, huh…" Dami softly says before mumbling something incoherent under her breath.

"You are not a fan of romance?" You cock your head at her, and she shakes her head.

"No, it is quite the opposite. I can be a bit too traditional when it comes to romance, I am afraid."

"And there is nothing wrong with that. Love is timeless and endless." You find yourself drifting into a dream world, but you quickly snap out of it. "Ah, I mustn't bore you with such chatter."

"I like discussing such topics with someone new. It keeps my mind fresh, plus Siyeon has not stopped talking about love since she became entranced with your friend." Dami admits, and you giggle.

"SuA does tend to have that effect on people. She is quite the charmer." You say with a dreamy smile. "I am envious of her at times, if I were to be honest."

"I would not doubt your abilities. You can hold a conversation well, and you manage to be captivating in your own right."

"Ah," You hide your face with one of your hands, "thank you for the flattery."

"No, I would be flattering you if I did not return these to you." Dami retrieves a bundle of dried calla lilies from her coat pocket before handing them to you.

Stunned, you look at her before carefully grabbing the flowers from her.

"How did you figure it out?" You mutter as Dami smiles a little wider.

"Well, I was clueless until you left me these flowers at the bar. After a few too many drinks, SuA was open to questioning, and she eventually, with her answers, led me to you." Dami explains as you nod along.

"That sounds like something SuA would say while drinking." A mischievous smile appears on your face. "So, detective, what is your next move since you have solved your first case?"

"For now, I will be working on my sleuthing, and I will be shadowing some of the greats as I chase after something I never knew that I needed." Dami looks at you with a soft tenderness in her eyes as you dare to ask the question that's sitting on the tip of your tongue.

"Oh, and what would that be?"

"You."

~

"You seem so star-struck… are you sure you are feeling alright? If you do not feel well, I can send word to your mother and I-"

You wave your hand before looking at Mrs. Kim.

"I am well, but my thoughts are a bit distracted at the moment… perhaps it's best for me to take my leave before I cause my mother any more worry." You gather your satchel before glancing around for SuA. "Where is SuA?"

"Oh, you did not hear, did you?" Mrs. Kim laughs to herself. "Siyeon asked SuA to enter a courtship with her."

"And?"

"She has not left her room since the Lee family has left."

You chuckle to yourself as Mrs. Kim cleans the final dish.

"Thank you again, Mrs. Kim. I appreciate the invite."

"Oh, you know you are always welcome around here!" She excitedly says before setting the last dish out to air-dry. "Besides, you seem to have taken a liking to one of the Lee girls as well, hm?"

"Ah!" You exclaim before covering your face. "Was I too obvious?"

"You both were. The subtle glances and hidden smiles… oh, the two of you reminded me of my husband and I before we began courting. You fancy her, right?" Mrs. Kim blankly asks as you uncover your mouth.

"I-...I do."

The words stumble out of your mouth as you admit to her, and to yourself, how deeply you were infatuated with Dami.

It was all going to come to a head sometimes. Why not let it be now?

"Oh, you and SuA are growing up far too quickly! I remember when you both were barely tall enough to reach the cookie jar on the counter…" Mrs. Kim giggles at the memory. "In all seriousness, that girl seems to be just right for you. Not too bold and exciting, but not too dry and dull, if you know what I mean."

"Yeah, she is perfect."

"You should head home now, and I will tell SuA where you went. I think she just needs some time to… process everything." Mrs. Kim explains.

Yeah, well, she's not the only one in that situation.

"I will see you soon, Mrs. Kim. Thank you again." You say before placing a hand on the door.

"Oh, do not thank me at all! You are welcome here any time, plus we will see each other at the ball, no?"

"Ball? What ball?" You turn back to curiously gaze at Mrs. Kim.

"Oh, Mrs. Lee wanted to celebrate the courtship with a ball, and I agreed. It would be good for everyone involved, plus Minji and Yoohyeon will be home in time for it as well."

"Are you trying to marry off all of your daughters at once?" You laugh along with Mrs. Kim as she shyly nods. "You must like the idea of an empty nest."

"I want my girls to have the best life possible, and that applies to you as well. You're basically my child, whether or not your mother realizes it."

You hold back a chuckle before opening the door.

"See you soon, Mrs. Kim."

"I look forward to seeing you all dressed up in a fortnight!" Mrs. Kim calls out to you before you close the door and begin to make the trek home.

~

"You are not going to a ball, especially not looking like that-"

"What is it, Mother? Am I not to your standard of beauty?" You scoff before slipping your handheld mirror into a pocket that was built into your outfit. "I am taking my leave, no matter your opinion on me or my affairs."

"You will regret this! What if you end up like your father-"

"Do not speak of my father in such a tone!" You hiss at your mother, and she jumps back at your venomous words. "He was a good man, and if I am to be true to my vow of honesty, I see why he 'disappeared' from your icy glare and harshness towards others."

Your mother stands down for a moment before going back onto the attack.

"What if some suitor takes you away from me? What then?"

"I am not your property, Mother!" You scream before taking a few hurried steps towards the door. "Banish the thought from your mind, immediately, before this becomes the last moment that we spend together."

You do not bother to listen to her rebuttal as you slam the door shut behind you. The door creaks because of how much pressure you applied to it, but you continue to storm towards the carriage that SuA had prepared for the two of you.

The driver quickly steps down to let you in the carriage, and you slip in the empty seat as SuA stares at you with concern and sympathy.

"What did your mother say?"

"It does not matter, and I shall not let her ruin this night." You calmly say as the driver closes the door. "That shade of violet looks nice on you."

"Thank you! Siyeon suggested that I dress like royalty, since that is what I am to her."

You cringe at the statement as SuA laughs.

"I am glad that she has charmed you so much. You deserve someone who shall love you until the end." You pause as you hear a whip crack in the evening air, and you feel the carriage lurch forward after a moment of silence.

SuA nearly tumbles into you, but you catch her in your arms before she can harm herself.

"Thanks for that." She quietly says before staring out of the window. "Are you excited to see the inside of the mansion?"

"Yeah, it will definitely be an adventure." You mindlessly say as your mind drifts towards Dami, which seemed to be a common occurrence since your last meeting.

I wonder if she will make an appearance tonight… I certainly hope so because I would love the chance to speak with her again. She’s so different from everyone else, I… I don’t know what to say, really.

“Do you have someone to fill your dance card, or will you be floating around the entire night?” SuA nudges your shoulder as you shrug.

“We shall see where the night takes us.”

“Ah, so mysterious~ I love it! I am glad to see that you are open to courting.” SuA excitedly starts talking about potential suitors, which is when you mentally exit the conversation.

I am glad that SuA is getting the fairytale that she deserves… we all could use a break since life has felt so nonstop.

You admire the scenery that passes by before the carriage slows, which causes you to crash into SuA. She howls in pain as you grumble and rub your elbows, which had collided with her shoulder blades.

“Sorry, SuA, I did not mean to hurt you.” You softly apologize, and SuA mumbles a curse before looking at you.

“It is not your fault. The carriage driver is simply too reckless, and I can only hope that I have not been bruised.”

You laugh before opening the carriage door. You hop out and offer to help SuA out before the carriage driver can move from their post.

“Thank you!” She gives you a warm smile as she takes your arm.

You make sure that her long, lilac gown is fully out of the carriage before you wave the carriage driver off. They nod before taking off, and the two of you stare at the mansion for a moment before beginning to walk towards it.

You see Siyeon expectantly waiting at the front steps of the mansion, and she becomes visibly excited when SuA comes into her view. SuA blushes before waving, and you softly chuckle at the encounter.

“You two are adorable.” You mumble under your breath before SuA elbows your side. “Yah! Why was that necessary?”

“I swear,” SuA mumbles your full name under her breath before continuing on, “I will make your life miserable when I find out who has you so transfixed.”

“Well, it looks like you will be waiting for a long, long time.” You tease as Siyeon makes her way down the stairs to meet you and SuA at the bottom.

“I hate you.” SuA says at a soft volume before excitedly greeting Siyeon. “Siyeon~ How have you been?”

“I have been well, but I have missed you too much for my heart to handle.” Siyeon takes SuA’s free hand before kissing the back of it. “May I escort you inside?”

SuA squeals like a schoolgirl before letting go of you.

“Of course you can! Lead the way.”

The pair begin to idly chat before walking up the stairs and into the mansion. You admire them for a moment before heading into the mansion as well.

You thank the servant who opens the door for you as you gawk at the interior of the mansion.

Dear God, I do not think we could afford a single candle on the chandelier, let alone anything else in here.

Someone in the distance calls out your name, and a flash of black hair is enough for you to recognize them.

“Kim Minji!” You call out her name in response as she quickly makes her way towards you.

She offers you a warm embrace once she comes close to you, and you happily accept before she tightly squeezes you.

“You have no idea how much I missed you. The letters from my family were enough to tide me over, but it wounded me greatly to not know how my favorite sibling is doing.” She rubs your hair before smoothing it out. “How have you been? Everything seems to have changed so much since we last saw each other.”

“I have been well, Minji, although I missed you a lot more than I usually do. Have your studies been fruitful?” You ask as Minji hands you a drink. “Thank you. You seem to know what I need, and when I need it. I missed that part of you when you were gone.”

“Well, the institution has asked for me to come back for another semester, so I would say that I have done well.” Minji giggles as you clap for her achievements.

“I am so proud of you, Minji. I cannot wait to see what you have been working on. When will you be able to take your family, including myself, back there?” You take a drink as Minji sets her glass down.

“I have to have three semesters behind me in order to receive guests, so in a year’s time, you will be traveling alongside me.”

“I look forward to it.” You finish the drink before setting your glass down next to Minji’s. “Has Yoohyeon arrived home yet?”

“Yes she has, but she has clung to my parent’s side since the moment she came home.” You both laugh before Minji continues to talk. “Yoohyeon is with my parents, if you would like to speak with her.”

“I would like that. If you would excuse me, Minji, it has been a pleasure to see you. We will have to have dinner before you head back in autumn.”

“I will hold you to that offer.” She smiles as you slip past her.

You hold your breath for a moment as you do your best to navigate through the large sea of people who have congregated in the first of many rooms in the mansion. A hand grabs yours, and you have no time to react as you’re pulled through a crowd of people.

“Hey, you remember who I am, right?” Gahyeon faces you, and you sigh in relief at the sight of her face.

“I thought someone with… poor intentions had taken a hold of me. Thank the heavens that it’s just you, Gahyeon.” You softly say as Gahyeon leads you through the mansion. “Where exactly are you taking me?”

She winks at you before turning back towards the front.

“It’s a secret!” Gahyeon giggles before squeezing through more people. “Excuse me, pardon me! I’m coming through.”

Most people offer her a kind smile or a laugh, and some shoot you a sympathetic look as Gahyeon continues to drag you behind her.

Why would she do this? What is her goal?

The sea of people begins to thin as Gahyeon takes you deeper into the mansion.

Thank goodness that people are congregating more towards the front. I’m glad that I have a chance to catch my breath.

Eventually, Gahyeon turns down a random hallway, and everyone else in the world disappears as the only chatter comes from the sound of feet hitting the ground.

She stops at a certain doorway before letting go of your hand.

“Well, this is your destination!” She happily says before skipping away.

“Wait, where am I-” You pause as Gahyeon disappears into thin air.

I guess I have no choice but to go in.

You enter the room while keeping an open mind, and you gently close the door before looking around at the room.

Gahyeon must have led me to the wrong room because this is definitely someone’s private chamber!

You stop moving once you realize that someone is sitting at the desk directly across from the door. A soft sigh escapes them as they stop writing and lift their head up towards you.

“Gahyeon, I told you that no one was to be in my room during the hours of the ball.”

You softly gasp as you recognize the sound of Dami’s voice.

Well, it’s nearly impossible to make her out in this dark room. The only light is right next to the door and to Dami.

“Dami?” You softly say, and Dami grabs the candle holder before turning to face you.

“You are not-” She pauses and softens once her eyes scan you. “My goodness… you look wondrous.”

“I-” You shyly hide your face as Dami blinks before standing up.

“Ah, where are my manners? I apologize for my improperness.” She moves away from the desk before gesturing for you to sit. “You must be uncomfortable in that. Please take a seat.”

“Oh Dami,” You sweetly say, “there’s no need to be so formal with me~”

Her eyes widen before a smirk rests on her lips.

“Ah, you do remember me fondly. That pleases me.” Her hand rests on one of her bed posts before she takes a seat on her bed. “I insist that you take a seat and rest.”

You awkwardly bow, and she chuckles at the gesture. You quickly scurry over to the chair, and you sigh in relief as your back touches the chair.

I did not realize how much pain I was in before I sat down.. But then again, I was just dragged around by Gahyeon, and that is enough to wear anyone out.

You admire the way that the candlelight manages to perfectly highlight every part of her face.

I doubt that there is a scenario where she does not look good. It seems to be impossible for her to look less than divine.

Dami’s outfit is similar to the one that she wore when you first met, except her shirt and pants are both black this time.

“How long have you been here?” Dami inquires.

“Just for a few moments. I was catching up with an old friend, and then Gahyeon dragged me to your front door.” Your face becomes heated as you realize how improper your current situation is, and how your mother would definitely kill you if she found out about this. “I apologize for intruding. You were busy working, and I have ruined the mood-”

“No, I needed the interruption. My mother has asked me to compose something since she found out I was taking music lessons from a family friend.” Dami explains before pointing at the paper. “Feel free to read it, if you wish.”

You take the parchment in your hands, and you hum the melody on the paper.

It’s very simplistic, but the melody is very catchy.

“You know how to read music?” Dami asks with a hint of surprise in her voice.

“My mother and father insisted that I had a well-rounded education.” You nonchalantly say before setting the paper down. “I like it. What are you composing?”

“A wedding song.”

Ah, that explains it.

“Your mother has high hopes for SuA and Siyeon.” You note as you gently set Dami’s quill back into the ink pot.

After a few failed attempts, you manage to make it stand up straight before Dami speaks again.

“I do as well. It would be nice to see a new face around here.” She wistfully says before standing up again. “I should not be monopolizing your time. You came to a ball to dance and socialize with others, and I have taken that chance from you.”

What is she talking about?

You pause as you hear a familiar piece being played from a distance.

Ah, so the dancing has begun.

“No, Dami, that is not the case.” You stand up and take a step towards her. “I came to see you.”

“You did?” The weakness in her voice is unmistakable, and you quickly take the chance to say what’s been on your mind for weeks.

“Somehow, you have managed to enchant me, despite our limited encounters. I do not know why, but something about you has changed so much in me. I am less afraid, and more willing to chase what I desire… which is why I am here, now, with you.” You confess before reaching out to Dami. “I do not wish to be another feeble memory in your mind. I want to take everything slow, but I just cannot stand the thought of not seeing you again.”

“I… can say that I feel the same as you. No one has challenged my mind like you have, and I quite enjoy getting to know who you truly are.” Her hand meets yours, and she interlaces her fingers with yours. “I will give you as much time as we need.”

“Thank you, Dami.” You softly say before grabbing the quill and an empty piece of parchment with your free hand.

You scribble your address down on the paper before handing it to Dami.

“Since I have seen how you live, maybe you could come to see me sometime?” You say as she takes the paper with her free hand. “I live nothing like you, but I think that would give you an idea of who I truly am.”

“I would enjoy seeing how you live, and the wonderful people who have raised you.”

You do your best to hide the grimace that appears on your face at the last part of her statement.

I can tell her about my mother and father at another time.

“I-” You pause as a piercing scream comes through the near silence that you and Dami were in.

You look around, alarmed, as Dami looks out of her window.

“No one’s outside.” She mumbles before sighing. “I bet someone had too much to drink.”

You pause, awaiting another scream, but you hear music continue to play.

“You are probably right.” You bite your lip before taking a step towards the door. “I should be taking my leave. SuA is probably worried sick about me.”

Dami lets go of your hand with a sad look in her eyes.

“Oh, alright. If you need an escape for the rest of the night, you are more than welcome to come back here.”

“I might have to take you up on that offer.” You brush a piece of hair out of your face before exiting Dami’s room. “Goodbye, Dami. I hope that our paths cross again.”

~

“Who is knocking at our door? Did you invite SuA over again?” Your mother angrily asks as you shake your head.

“Not exactly, but I ask that you give her a chance.” You plead as she sighs.

“Is it a Lee?”

You nod as your mother gasps in horror.

“Absolutely not! I will have no daughter of that heathen of a woman in my home!” Your mother spits out as you continue to walk towards the door.

“Listen, can you put your history with her mother behind us for just one meal? That is all I ask for, Mother, and I would be forever grateful if you could grant this simple request.” You softly say, and your mother sighs before agreeing.

“One dinner, then I will return to my rightful disliking of that family.”

You cheer before turning back to the door.

It’s one meal, that’s all.

You had begun to exchange letters with Dami after you met with her during the ball, and your mother had quickly grown suspicious of the amount of time you spent inside instead of being out with SuA, so you had confessed that you had fallen for someone.

Your mother, surprisingly, did not overreact and was, in some strange stroke of luck, quite excited to meet this suitor. So, you had set up a meeting between Dami and your mother, but you had yet to tell your mother who this suitor was.

You open the door, and a bright smile appears on your face when Dami appears before you. You do not hesitate to give her a big hug, and she pulls her hands away from her chest before hugging you back.

“I hope your mother is not allergic to flowers.” Dami mumbles before you let go of her. “Have you been well?”

“I can say that I have been well since I have seen you last.” You take her free arm before leading her into your home. “Are you well?”

“I have seen better days.” She chuckles to herself. “The detective agency keeps me quite busy.”

“I am well aware. You still travel from here to the city, and back again?” You ask before closing the door behind the two of you

“I have been looking for different accommodations, but I have a few more arrangements to make before I can fully adjust to city life.” Dami admits as you turn into the kitchen. “Ah, you must be the mother I’ve heard so much about.”

You do your best to hide the mischief in your eyes as Dami politely shakes your mother’s hand.

“Unlike your mother, you appear to have manners.” Your mother grumbled, and Dami simply cocks her head at her.

“I beg your pardon?”

“Dami, my mother and your mother have a… complicated history.” You gently explain in an effort to diffuse the tension that has slipped into the room.

“I do not understand what you mean.”

“A long time ago, my mother and your mother were competing to win the heart of a certain suitor that you may or may not know very well.” You say with a smile. “Anyways, my mother failed to capture his heart, and she married my father while your mother fell in love with the man that is your father.”

“I never knew that about Mother.” Dami softly says under her breath. “You know Mrs. Kim too, right?”

“Yes, she was my closest friend.” Your mother says through gritted teeth. “Unfortunately for me, she sided with your mother instead of me, and look where we are today.”

“So that’s why you and SuA are so close…” Dami acknowledges your mother with a nod before changing the subject. “Can I help with dinner?”

“No, I have it handled. Please take a seat and enjoy yourself.” Your mother suggests as you lead Dami into the parlor room.

“That went about as badly as I thought it would.” Dami whispers under her breath as you softly giggle.

“Dami, that’s the best my mother has reacted to someone that I have brought to the house. You should have seen the look on her face when I brought SuA over to my house for a night spent at my house. My mom nearly made the poor girl cry.” You explain before resting on a loveseat.

Dami sits next to you as you grab a dusty book from next to you. You blow the dust off of it before carefully opening the book.

“What is that?” Dami inquires.

“It’s a journal that my father kept that recalls his memories from the day I was born to the day he disappeared. This is not the only journal, but it is the last one I have.” You hand Dami the journal, and she looks at you with confusion in her eyes.

“Why are you giving this to me?”

“You should read it. He gives some great advice, especially to my future suitors.” You take the book back from her before opening it to one of the back pages.

You read from the book with a steady tone as you imagine your father’s voice speaking to you in the present moment.

“My sweet child, oh how I wish to see the world you shall leave in your wake. You are brighter than every star, sweeter than a freshly-picked cherry, and warmer than the sun on its best days. I cannot imagine a world without you, without the changes that you shall make.

You are barely old enough to understand the world that you live in. Someday, you will understand the sacrifices I have made for your comfort. You are my everything, my light and my joy. I wish nothing but the best for you in everything that you do.

I know that you are approaching a special age, one that is very thrilling but very isolating. You may begin courting, and your mother and I may not agree about who you are courting. This, however, should not persuade you or your lover. The only person who can write your destiny is you, no matter what your mother may demand of you now.

As a father, my only wish is that the person that you marry will appreciate you for who you really are: a shining star. You, my dear, are so special and deserve nothing but the best. You can accomplish anything that you put your mind to. You have made friends with your mother’s sworn enemies, but you don’t know that now. You will most likely marry someone that your mother hates, but you will never know, or you will just be old enough to know better.

Please, my child, heed my warning: Be everything that me and your mother were not. Be in love with the person you marry. Do not accept less than perfection because you deserve to be treated with respect and love, as does your lover. You can be different, you can change, you can be better than us. I just know it.”

You shudder as you finish reading your father’s last written words.

‘You can be different, you can change, you can be better than us. I just know it.’ Father, I hope I have made you proud.

“Was your father a scholar?”

“A writer, actually, although he was not very popular.” You correct her before grabbing another book from the pile of books besides you. “We have been living off of his trust funds and royalties since his disappearance, which explains the state of the house.”

It was no secret that your home was not in the best conditions. From the creaky floors that could give out at any time to the paint chippings on the wall, the house needed an overhaul that you could not provide without a quality education or a rich suitor.

“Ah, I see.”

You set both books down on the ground before turning to Dami.

“Do not let my mother phase you. She is all bark, no bite.”

“I certainly hope that her bark is not strong enough to blow me away.” Dami mumbles under her breath as your mother calls out from the kitchen.

“Dinner is ready! Come in and get it while it is still hot.”

You slip out of the room, and Dami follows behind.

“Did you show her the parlor room?” Your mother asks as you silently nod. “Good, it could use some guests since we barely have anyone over.”

Well, I wonder why that could be the case…

“Do you like to read?” Dami attempts to engage and connect with your mother as you serve yourself dinner.

“I was never a reader like my husband and my child. I often had social hours with my friends who lived in the city while my husband was still around.” She explains as Dami grabs a plate as you sit down at the dinner table. “Are you as studious as my child is?”

“I think you already know the answer to your question, but if you are looking for an answer from me, then yes, I have been educated by tutors and self-studying on my own.”

“Self-studying, huh? So you are trying to become a scholar?” Your mother asks with a sliver of curiosity, but Dami shakes her head.

“Oh, I have recently opened my detective agency in the city. You may know-”

“You are Lee Dami, correct?” Your mother cuts Dami off, and Dami nods before your mother continues on. “I have heard all about you and your expeditions.”

Here we go…

You take a sip of water as Dami sits to your left, and your mother sits to your right.

“I have consulted your child for multiple cases. They have been quite useful, and they have been helping me with some of the more difficult problems that I face.”

“So you’ve been putting my child in danger?” Your mother’s pitch rises an octave, and her eyes twitch as Dami immediately backtracks.

“Oh no, that is the last thing I would want to happen. I assure you that their safety and comfort comes first before my work or anything else in my life.” Dami places her hand over yours, and you shyly smile at your mother, who looks very unimpressed.

“How should I be sure that you do not have poor intentions with my child? Many have tried to pursue them before, but what makes you better than them all?” Your mother tries to provoke Dami as you intervene.

“Mother, that is enough! Dami is a guest, not a criminal. Please stop investigating her.” You plead with your mother before shooting Dami a sympathetic look. “I am so, so sorry-”

“No, your mother has a point, although her intentions may not be innocent.” Dami clears her throat before squeezing your hand. “I want nothing more than to provide your child with everything that they need in life. Love, safety, commitment, money - whatever they want is what I want to give them.”

“Are you… asking for their hand in marriage?” Your mother prods, which causes Dami to blush.

“Ah, no… but I am interested in courting them.”

“Oh, you’re old-fashioned.” Your mother thinks for what feels like a century before answering. “Yes, you may court my child… but there is to be no tomfoolery in this house! Are we clear?”

Dami lets out a sigh of relief before glancing over at you. You grin at her before looking over to your mom.

“Yes, Mother!” You excitedly say before working on finishing your dinner.

Dami chuckles to herself as your mom shakes her head at you. Everyone eats dinner in peace as the tension finally evaporates from the air.

~

“Siyeon-ah!” SuA cries out before laughing. “You are supposed to be kind to a woman, not bring harm to them.”

“So your fencing skills are not as strong as you thought they were, hmm?” Siyeon teases as SuA throws her sword to the ground.

“You are simply no fun!” SuA exclaims before huffing and backing away from the small white cement circle in the middle of the courtyard.

“Has she always been this good at fencing?” You mumble into Dami’s ear before linking your arm with hers.

“Siyeon has the most physical strength out of the three of us.” Dami states as you lean against her.

“So you are admitting that she is better at fencing than you are?”

“I did what I needed to in order to get a seal of approval from our fencing instructor.” Dami sighs in disappointment before you squeeze her arm.

“I assure you that you make up for a lack of physical strength in many different ways~” You teasingly say, and Dami blushes as you let go of her arm.

“Your praise is the sweetest melody in my ear, and it is all I ever want to hear until the end of my days.” Dami gently grabs your hand before pulling it up to her lips. “I suppose that you feel the same?”

You pause as she kisses your hand, and that action only fuels the burning flame in your heart.

“You are as charming as your sister, I assure you.” You say while trying to hide how flustered you truly are.

“Ah, have I driven you away with my outward affection? I only wish to please you, my dear.” Dami pulls you close as your mind scrambles from the words that come from her lips.

I absolutely should not let her have this control over me, but I enjoy it so much. I would love to stay like this until the end of time.

You play with the seams of your outfit as you shyly look Dami in the eyes.

“I adore you, Dami, even though I may not express how I truly feel to you.” You mumble against her body, and she stops breathing for a moment before you feel her chest rise and fall again to a steady rhythm.

“My adoration goes farther than any complex arrangement of words could suggest, and I wish for you to take your time in expressing how you feel. We have the rest of our lives to look forward to.” Dami says as you watch SuA mournfully approach the two of you. “I only wish that I would gain your mother’s full approval.”

“Hell will freeze over before that day comes, Dami.” SuA grumbles before you hand her a glass of water. “That old woman does not like anyone, so having a luke-warm reception from her is about as good as you are going to get.”

“My mother may be a nightmare to handle, but she still is my mother. She raised me after my father disappeared, and I only have her left to support me.” You bite your lip as SuA pats the back of your shoulder.

“My mom and dad would love to take you in. We love you as you are. There is no need for you to put yourself through torture because you feel like you owe your mother a part of yourself.” SuA says before taking a sip of the water. “Besides, I had promised you that I would help you look for your father, and I fully intend to keep that vow.”

“Yeah, but what if what I find is the opposite of what I need?” You softly ask. “What then, if uncertainty strikes my vulnerabilities?”

“I assure you that everything will be fine. Once I have finished my current work, we can start working towards reopening the case, if you wish.” Dami rubs your back as you shake your head at her.

“I could not ask you to abandon your work like that-”

“No amount of coins and notoriety is worth the price of a good night’s rest. You need answers, and I will happily help you find them.”

“Dami, I do not think I can thank you enough…” You trail off as she takes your free hand in hers.

“Think nothing of it. I want to provide for you, to prove to your mother and to everyone else that I can care for you and myself.” Dami admits as you and SuA nod along. “I will see what I can finish tonight, and I will hopefully be able to start working towards finishing everything tomorrow.”

“Really?” Your eyes shine brightly, which makes Dami smile.

“Of course, dearest. You are my priority now, as I am yours.”

“Did you not say that you would never fall for someone who was not like a person in your fantasy novels?” SuA teases as you quickly become embarrassed.

“Priorities and preferences change, plus who said that Dami was not everything I dreamed of and so much more?”

“Ah, you have not changed at all, dear friend! I love to see you so happy and content.” SuA slaps your back, and you jump as Dami laughs. “Siyeon! I am challenging you to another round!”

“Are you sure that you can take another loss, my love?” Siyeon playfully says as SuA grabs the sword from the ground.

“Who says that I will lose?”

Siyeon and SuA ready themselves as you and Dami continue to watch.

“En garde!”

The clashing of swords causes you to pull your attention to Dami, who looks deep in thought.

You place a comforting hand on her shoulder, which causes her to look at you.

“Is everything alright?” You ask.

“Yes, I am quite fine, but I worry that I am taking too long of a break.”

“I think you are committed more to your detective work than you are to me, dear.” You wink at Dami as she eyes you up and down.

“I assure that a greater fallacy has not been spoken since-”

You interrupt Dami by softly shushing her.

“I know that your mother’s departure has been rough on all three of you. It is okay to admit that you miss her, you know.”

“I wish she would have told father to meet us here, to want to see his children again, but instead, mother bent herself to his needs again.” Dami sighs before continuing to speak. “Siyeon and Gahyeon have adjusted well, as have I. Our mother has not been involved in our affairs since we were young, so it is not like there is much missing. I just miss the smaller moments, like the weekly book recommendations and family tea time.”

“I am sure that she misses the three of you as well.” You reassure Dami before a figure approaches from the mansion. “I think that is Gahyeon in the distance, right?”

“Yes, it would appear so. I wonder what she is looking for?”

You hear Siyeon laugh and SuA angrily shout as another sword flies through the air. Siyeon helps SuA off of the ground, and the two of them intimately look each other in the eyes as Gahyeon approaches you and Dami.

“I am sorry to interrupt-”

“Gahyeon, you are more than welcome to join us at any time.” You correct her before gesturing for her to continue.

“We have guests.” A grin appears on her face as she looks back at the mansion. “Handong has come to visit us again, plus she brought one of her friends from the academy. Correct me if I am wrong, but the friend is the youngest sister of the Kim family, right?”

~

You allow Dami to lead you to the front door as you walk arm-in-arm. SuA, on the other hand, drags Siyeon to the door as Gahyeon instructs the butler to open the door.

SuA was never one for tradition.

You smile as the shadow of Yoohyeon and another girl appears in broad daylight. Once Yoohyeon makes eye contact with you, she nearly runs over SuA, who had her arms extended towards Yoohyeon, in order to reach you.

You let go of Dami as Yoohyeon tightly hugs you.

“You are home, Yooh.” You mumble softly before playing with a few strands of hair and wrapping an arm around you. “I missed you to the moon and back. How has your schooling gone?”

“I seem to have more focus since I have left my house, so I have been flourishing academically. You and SuA have completely finished your studies, if I have my dates correct, which means that you two…” Yoohyeon trails off before backing away from you and eyeing Dami. “Oh, I see what is happening here. I never thought you were one for courting.”

“I… have changed for the better since your departure.” You shyly say as Yoohyeon raises an eyebrow at you.

“Are you implying that my absence was the cause of your sudden shift in behavior? What a menace you are, you-”

You squeal as Yoohyeon laughs at your state.

“You have no manners, Yoohyeon!” You tease before glancing at Dami. “This is Kim Yoohyeon, one of SuA’s sisters.”

“I can see the resemblance.” Dami gently shakes Yoohyeon’s hand. “My name is Dami.”

“Ah, you have taken an interest in my sweet friend. Tell me, what is the secret to getting them to fall for you?”

“Yoohyeon!” You whine as Dami smiles while lovingly gazing at you.

“They have enchanted me far beyond what should be considered normal, so I had no choice but to be as charming as possible in order to keep them by my side.”

“A lover and a romantic, huh? Have you considered learning a card game or two? Your luck is so good!” Yoohyeon cannot help but laugh as you take Dami’s arm again.

“I shall look into it.” You say before waving her off. “You should speak with SuA. I am sure that she is dying to see you.”

Yoohyeon rolls her eyes as you sweetly giggle.

“You act as if we are not like oil and water when mixed together.”

“Just say hello, and then you can take your leave.” You encourage her as Yoohyeon nods and calmly walks over to her sister. “She is very special, is she not?”

“The Kims, strangely enough, remind me of my family. I do not mind the teasing or games since they enjoy it much more than I do.” She vaguely gestures to the scene of Yoohyeon and SuA wrestling on the floor in front of you.

Siyeon watches and laughs as the girls holler and pull each other’s hair.

“Dami? Is that you?”

“Ah, Handong, it is great to see you!” Dami greets and welcomes the other woman at the door while gesturing her to come in.

She quickly walks over to the two of you in order to avoid the debacle happening in the middle of the foyer.

“Who might this be?” Handong asks before you introduce yourself. “Oh? Is that so? It is great to hear that a friend of mine has found someone to take care of her.”

“Handong, I assure you that I can take care of myself.”

“I know, but you can distract yourself with your work and lose focus from time to time. You need that person to pull you back and remind you what life is about.” Handong wistfully says. “While we are on the subject of work, how has your business been doing? I have seen you on the front of many newspapers, but gossip means nothing to me nowadays.”

“As strange as it may seem, the articles themselves are very, very true. I have made myself a name in this city-”

“-and I could not be more proud of how much great work you have done.” You admire Dami before sheepishly backing off. “Sorry, I did not mean to interrupt. Continue on as you were.”

“No, my dear, you are welcome into the conversation at any time. You are right, though, I do not do such strenuous work for the satisfaction of money, although that is a plus. I like to help those in need when possible.” Dami lets go of your arm in favor of holding your hand, and you notice Handong smile at the gesture.

“As much as I wish to keep speaking with both of you, this is a business visit, unfortunately.” Handong sighs as you cock your head at her. “My family and the Lees have been working together for centuries on developing the land. That is how we ended up with such fortune, after all.”

“So you need to speak with Siyeon?” Dami inquires, and Handong nods.

“Yes, I do. Perhaps we could do so over dinner?”

Gahyeon jumps into the conversation by leaning on Handong’s shoulder.

“Absolutely! I will tell the chefs to prepare dinner for seven!”

Handong laughs at Gahyeon’s sudden appearance before giving her a warm hug.

“Now, where did you come from?”

~

Dinner goes smoothly as you sit in-between Dami and Yoohyeon. Conversation flows like a flowing river on a sunny day, and you are more than content when Dami reaches over and places her hand over yours.

The same cannot be said for SuA, who is sitting across from you with a grimace on her face. Not once during dinner has Siyeon acknowledged her or turned her direction, and all of you have been sitting at the dinner hour for over two hours.

I do not want to be here when she finally says what is on her mind. That will be a world-ending experience.

You shoot her a sympathetic look as she continues to absentmindedly pick at her food as Gahyeon chatters on about something that SuA really does not care about. After looking over at you, she rolls her eyes and angrily eats a piece of steak. Siyeon and Handong calmly chat at the other end of the table, as if they are completely unaware of SuA’s burning gaze.

Eventually, to everyone’s surprise but your own, SuA suddenly stands up and carelessly tosses her fork on the table.

“My love, is everything alright?” Siyeon reaches for SuA, but she takes a step away from Siyeon.

“It is late. I should be arriving home with Yoohyeon before my family worries.” SuA coldly states before glaring at Yoohyeon. “Let us go.”

“But I have not finished my-”

“Now.”

You shiver at the anger in SuA’s tone as Yoohyeon sets her fork down and stands up alongside her sister. The two of them silently leave the room as everyone stares in disbelief at the situation that unfolded right in front of them.

Siyeon stands up after SuA slams the dining room door shut, but you gesture for her to sit before standing up yourself.

“Let me talk her down a bit, okay?” You offer her a weak smile before taking your hand away from Dami. “I will be back in a while, dear.”

You quietly slip out of the dining room before entering the foyer. You catch SuA dragging Yoohyeon out of the door when you call out for her.

“SuA? Why are you running away?”

SuA immediately lets go of Yoohyeon and directs her anger towards you.

“I am not running away from anything! Siyeon refused to acknowledge my existence!” SuA raises her voice as you attempt to calm her down.

“I know, but-”

“No, no you do not! You have not a clue what it feels like for someone to abandon you, to leave you out for the wolves!” SuA hisses as Yoohyeon gasps.

“SuA, their father-”

“-will never return home, and honestly? I will never blame him for doing so. Your mother is a nightmare, and you are simply too scared to stand up to her fully in the fear of being kicked out. Your father would be ashamed of the person you turned out to be!” SuA’s words hit you hard, and you cover your face with your hand so she does not have to see you cry.

“SuA, that is enough!” Yoohyeon raises her voice, which causes you to jump. “You are taking out your anger on the one person who would do anything for you within a heartbeat. Are you sure you want to throw that all away over someone who may only have a temporary residency in your heart?”

“If I cannot have the woman I love, then what does it matter?” SuA weakly says as she holds back tears. “Love is sickening, Yoohyeon, do not let the pretty flowers or lovely notes fool you.”

“Yooh, she is misguided by her emotions.” You softly say while trying to wipe the tears from her face. “You have to give love a chance in order to decide if it is for you or not.”

“I am not misguided! One day, Dami will ruin your life by falling out of love with you. Maybe she already has, and you are just stringing yourself along until she finally has the courage to end things with you-”

Your sobs are what push Yoohyeon to back away from SuA and pull you into her arms.

“Go home, SuA, and get some rest.”

“What will mother and father-”

“I will happily explain to them what you said if you will not tell them yourself. You are a grown woman, SuA. You should know better than to take your anger out on an innocent party.” Yoohyeon harshly critiques SuA as their carriage pulls around. “Now, go before you can cause any more damage.”

SuA huffs before turning towards the carriage. She enters it without a word, and the carriage drives away as you collapse into Yoohyeon’s arms.

“I am so, so sorry for her behavior… I have never seen her act like this.”

“Neither have I.” You croak out in between sobs.

“Do not speak. I will call a separate carriage for us, and-”

“Yoohyeon?” Handong calls out from the dining room, and she pauses before looking back to the dining room. “Yes, Siyeon, everything is alright. I will be back in a minute.”

“Handong, go back and enjoy dinner. This is not-”

Handong waves a hand at Yoohyeon before calling over a butler.

“Call my carriage over, and have the driver take these girls wherever they wish to go.”

“No, that will not be necessary-”

“Yoohyeon, I insist. I bear some responsibility in this, anyway.” Handong guiltily says before looking at you. “You should have come out here with someone else, someone who could have helped you calm her down faster-”

“No, she would have gotten in a screaming match with you or Siyeon, and Gahyeon or Dami would not have a clue what to do. It had to be them, in one way or another.” Yoohyeon wraps her arms around your neck as you lean into her touch.

“Home. I want to go home.” You mumble into her neck as she nods.

“Do you want to say goodbye to Da-”

“No, I cannot face her after what SuA said.” You bite your bottom lip as you try to stop more tears from falling out of your eyes.

“Dami adores you, and unlike SuA, I will not allow you to push her away when you need her most.” Yoohyeon glances over to Handong, who nods and quickly heads back into the kitchen. “You are allowed to need her as much as she needs you.”

“I feel guilty for monopolizing her time-”

“You are courting, for heaven’s sake!” Yoohyeon exasperatedly says. “Of course you will take up much of her time, but that is because she wants to be there for you. ‘For better or for worse’, right?”

“Is SuA right? Will she eventually lose interest in me?” You ask, scared of what the answer will be.

“To be very honest, SuA was talking out of anger and jealousy. She told you what she felt was happening to her.” Yoohyeon explains as you steady yourself. “Are you better?”

“As good as I will be after that verbal lashing.”

You and Yoohyeon awkwardly laugh as Handong returns with Dami in tow. As soon as Dami comes into your line of sight, you somehow find your way into her comforting arms.

“Please never leave me. I do not know what I would do if I never got to see you again. You are a piece of me that I wish I could keep forever.” You mumble into her neck as she comfortingly rubs your back.

“I will stay with you as long as you will have me by your side. I am yours, now and always, and that will never change.” Dami softly whispers as you tightly hug her.

“I love you.” The words slip out of your mouth before you realize what you have said.

You feel Dami’s breath hitch as she processes what you just said.

“I… I love you too.” She parts from you, only to give you a kiss on the cheek. “Go home and get some rest, alright? I will come to see you tomorrow, I promise.”

“You promise?” You repeat as you watch Handong’s carriage pull up to the mansion.

“I will never let you down, my dear.”

~

“So, you have finally gotten rid of that Kim Bora for good?” Your mother asks after knocking on your door. “That is a step in the right direction! Now, if only that pesky Lee girl could let go of her claws in you, and we would be set to-”

“Leave Dami out of this, and set my food by the door.” You loudly mumble from your bed.

You had not gotten out of bed nor had you changed out of your sleepwear. You only felt like reading one of the journals your father had given you, trying to sleep, or staring at the wall and replaying last night over and over in your mind.

“But you have not touched breakfast at all-”

“I will eat something today, I promise.” You weakly say, which causes your mother to leave, and for you to sigh in relief.

I just want the rest of the world to fade away as I stay in bed for just a while longer.

You hug the stuffed animal that SuA gave you when you both were children, and it brings you a moment of comfort before you hear your mother calling out for you again.

“I know you are in no state to be seen, but Dami is here to see you. She says that she has something to speak with you about.”

Your eyes widen when you realize that Dami is in your house and awaiting you, so you quickly ready yourself before calling out to your mother.

“You can send her up! I am ready to be seen by my company, whether or not you think so.”

You open the window in your bedroom and adjust the hem of your outfit before you hear a single soft knock on the door.

“Dear, may I come in?”

Dami’s sweet voice floats through the cracks in the doorway, and you sigh before sitting down on your bed.

“Yes, you can come in.”

The door creaks open, and Dami stands there with a plate of food in her hands.

“You should eat, even if you do not feel like it. You will make yourself more ill if you refuse to take care of yourself.”

“I- Thank you.” You briefly say before extending your hands towards her.

She softly smiles before walking over to you and handing you the food, along with a set of silverware.

“I like the decorations in your room… it is fitting for your personality.” Dami comments as you take a bite of food.

When the taste of your mother’s cooking hits your tongue, the knot in your stomach unravels and you’re suddenly hungry enough to eat the food that has been prepared for you.

“Thank you…” You say in-between bites of food. “My father gifted me most of it, and the rest is from Minji or Bora.”

You soften once her name comes from her lips, and Dami sits next to you before placing an arm around you.

“Siyeon visited SuA before I came to see you.” Dami looks out the window as you stare at her in curiosity.

“What happened?”

“SuA cursed her out before throwing her promise rings at Siyeon.”

“So they are no longer courting?” You feel sad when you ask Dami that, even though you already know the answer.

“Although Siyeon is awaiting a direct answer, I believe it is fair to say that the two of them are going separate ways, at least for a little while.” Dami explains as you nod along.

“I know that SuA can overreact at times, but that was extreme, especially given the scenario-”

“No, I think she was in the right.” Dami states as you furrow your eyebrows.

“What do you mean?”

“Any reasonable person would have been upset with a lover if that lover had been ignoring them. SuA should not have directed any anger towards you, which is something we will both agree on, I am sure.”

You set the empty plate on your nightstand before grabbing the gifted stuffed animal from the back of your bed.

“Yeah, she has never gotten so angry with me, and not over something like that. She must have been feeling so upset, and I tried to reason with her, I did, but-”

“She was in no mood to hear you out, but SuA should have sent you away if she knew that she would explode like that.” Dami pulls you closer before rubbing your shoulder in reassurance. “I heard from Gahyeon that the two of them have been arguing over small things for a while, so I guess this was the tipping point for them.”

“And Handong? Is she alright? I know she must feel awful for what happened.” You show concern for the black-haired girl, and Dami sweetly smiles at you.

“After everything that was said to you, you still worry about how others feel. That is how I know that you are just perfect, not for me, but in general.” Dami shakes her head as a light chuckle falls from her soft lips. “Yes, Handong is staying with us for a while. She wants to bridge things over with Siyeon, but I think her efforts will be fruitless. I think it is best for all of us to leave this whole mess where it belongs.”

“In the past?” You ask as she nods.

“As a bad memory. There are things that cannot be fixed, of course. You and SuA, you have not-”

“No, I think she will need more time before I reach out to her. I know that Bora is upset over all of this, and I would rather not start another fight.” You bite your lip before squeezing the stuffed animal in your arms. “I wish I could go back and fix everything, but I need to look forward. You are right, Dami, like always.”

“I know, but now is not the time for that. As I told your mother, I have something to speak with you about.” Dami pulls away from you for a moment, and you find yourself craving her touch as you force yourself to respond.

“Yeah, did you not mention something about my father last night?”

“I did, but that only partially relates to what I was referring to.” Dami fishes a key out of her pocket before handing it to you.

“Dami, sweetheart, what is this for?” You examine the key before you notice that Dami is staring at you with a hopeful look in her eye.

“I… put a month’s rent down on an apartment in the city.”

“Dami, are you serious?” You tightly grip the key before looking her in the eyes. “My mother, she will not be happy when she hears about this. Besides, what will people say? What about your sisters and your parents?”

“I assure you that many more scandalous acts are happening in that city. I am not asking for a long-term commitment, my dear. Just come and stay with me in the city for a month. It will be a nice change of pace, plus you can help me work on a few cases in more depth, like-”

“-my father’s disappearance?” Your voice jumps up in pitch as Dami nods in agreement.

“As I said early, just give it some thought. I do not wish to rush your decision-making. When you are read, send a letter to my residence and I will-”

“Yes, I will live with you.” You do not blink or move a muscle as Dami stares at you.

“Are you sure about this? If you need more time, I can-”

“No, you are right. I could use some space from my mother and everyone else in my life. I think this will be good for me… for the both of us.”

“I will take you to visit the property tomorrow, and we can slowly move in from then on. Does that sound okay?”

You slip your hand into Dami’s, and you give it a gentle squeeze.

“That will work well for me. What about my mother?”

“I will take care of it, I promise.”

~

Although your mother was not the biggest fan of you leaving the house at such a young age, she did like the idea of you staying in the city.

“Maybe you could meet another lady at that time… one that is richer, and not related to the Lee family-”

“Mother, I am crazy about Dami, whether or not you approve of it. I am going with her, no matter what.”

She sighs before waving you off.

“I was afraid you would say that. Be safe, and come to visit often, alright? The house feels less like a home without you.”

You had given your mother a tight hug, the first one you’ve shared in many years, before hopping into a carriage to spend a month with the person who made your life exponentially better.

You could not resist saying your goodbyes to the Kim family, even though your relationship with SuA had not fully recovered at the time.

“You will still come to visit, right?” Mrs. Kim asks after letting you out of a tight hug.

“Yes, I will, as long as you will have me. I will even bring Dami, if you will have both of us.”

“It would be my pleasure.” She pinches your cheek before walking off.

You jump slightly as Mr. Kim gives you a firm but reassuring pat on the back.

“You will be okay out there, kid. You are smart enough to do anything that you wish. Do not forget us when you get mesmerized by everything the city has to offer, alright?”

“I will not, I promise.” You firmly shake his hand as he gives you a softer pat on the back.

When Mr. Kim moves, Minji rushes up to you and gives you a sweet, warm up.

“Ah, you are growing up too fast!” She teases as you hear Yoohyeon approach from the kitchen.

“I know, Minji, it feels like yesterday when we all were playing outside in the garden.” Yoohyeon sighs before leaning on the doorframe. “Do not forget to invite us to the wedding, alright? I would like front row seats, right next to your mother-”

“Yoohyeon!” You squeal before letting go of Minji. “There is no wedding in my future.”

“Yeah, keep telling yourself that~” She winks before giving you a quick embrace. “Tell me all about the city when you get back… if you come back.”

“I will, I promise.” You turn to Minji with a warm smile on your face. “Please come and visit us while you are still here for late spring and the whole summer.”

“I cannot think of a better way to spend my time.” She smiles as Yoohyeon points at the stairs.

“Well, look at what the cat dragged out of bed!”

SuA slowly walks down the stairs while avoiding eye contact with you.

“Yoohyeon, be nice. SuA has been having a rough time as of late. We should not be contributing to her stress.” Minji walks away from you before grabbing Yoohyeon’s arm and leading her outside.

“SuA… I am sorry that I did not come to see you earlier. I was worried that I had upset you past the point of no return, and I-”

“Oh, please do not apologize to me. After all, I should be kissing your feet after the shit I said.” SuA chokes back some tears before looking over to you. “You will find the willpower to forgive me, right? I was so incredibly misguided when I projected my anger onto you, and it was wrong of me to do so.”

“SuA, I will always be here for you when you need me.” You open your arms to her, and she gladly gives you a strong hug.

“Are you really going away to the city?”

“Just for a month, and then I will be back here.”

“What makes you so sure that you will dislike city living?”

“I…” You pause before letting go of SuA. “I do not think I will dislike it at all. I just hope Dami and I are compatible as roommates and lovers.”

“I do not think there is an area where the two of you are not compatible.” SuA chuckles before looking at you. “I am so happy that you are living your life with the girl you have dreamed of for years. Continue to be that way for me, alright?”

You tilt your head at her.

“Will you come and visit me sometime?”

“You know I cannot resist an offer like that~”

~

One month had turned into two, and before you knew that, spring had shifted into summer, and summer flew by without a second warning. The only event that made you realize how fast time was going was the annual send-off for Yoohyeon and Minji that was held at the end of summer. That was when SuA had brought up that you and Dami had been living together for over half of the year, and you had to dodge more proposal and engagement questions than you could reasonably count.

“Is it so wrong to be curious about my friend’s marital status?” SuA teases as you brush her off with a scoff.

“No, but telling lies and spreading my private business everywhere is not at all what I want!”

As autumn approaches, you have been working long hours to find some sort of information in the case of your father. Dami was right by your side, but you still were unable to make any progress.

After searching through the hundredth newspaper, you sigh before collapsing on the couch in your shared apartment.

“Giving up so soon?” Dami asks before removing the glasses from her face.

“We have looked in thousands upon thousands of newspapers, yet there is no news of his disappearance. It is almost like he did not want to be found…”

Your shoulders slump after you toss the newspaper on a spare end table. Dami is quick to comfort you as she sits next to you and takes your hand in hers.

“We will keep looking, as long as it may take. I know a few people who may be able to get us some travel logs from the last ten years. If he went through the city, then he is in there, I assure you.”

You do not get your hopes up as you briefly glance at Dami before squeezing her hand.

“You think we will find him?”

“I cannot assure you of that, but I will not rest until we find out the truth.”

~

You take a sip from the teacup in your hand as you sit next to the window that faces the main road of the city.

I wonder if it is always this peaceful in autumn, or if the city is just begging for me and Dami to stay here.

A small ‘click!’ pulls you back into reality as you turn towards the door. You set the teacup down as the door opens to reveal Dami. Before she can step inside, you grab her wrist, pull her inside, shut the door, and bury yourself in her arms in one clean motion. Dami laughs at your swiftness before hugging you back.

“Did you miss me that much, my love?” Dami softly teases before pressing a kiss to your face.

“You ask me that question every day, Dami. I am surprised that you, the famous detective, have not figured out the answer.” You shoot back before slightly pulling away from her.

“Some things are better left as a mystery.” She shows you a warm smile, and you reciprocate it before pulling her in for a kiss.

You and her both sigh as you melt into each other. She still smells like freshly printed books, but it is mixed with an indescribable ink smell and a whiff of some expensive perfume.

It must be from one of the secretaries at her office, or a potential customer, perhaps?

You have to push Dami away from you when you realize that someone is knocking at the door. She looks hurt at first, but when you gesture towards the door, she relaxes.

“I thought I had offended you in some way.” She mumbles before fixing her clothes.

Did I accidentally untie her necktie while I was in that haze? What strange behavior for me to engage in!

“You? Never.”

Dami bites her lip and blushes before gesturing to your lips.

Is there something on my-

“Oh, dear…” You laugh before rubbing a bit of her lipstick off of your lips with a napkin.

I guess I was not the only one, then.

The knocking continues, and you clean up the apartment a bit as Dami answers the door.

“Siyeon?” Dami tilts her head before Siyeon comes crashing into her arms.

“Oh, dear sister, you must forgive me!” She wails as Dami looks at her in pure confusion.

“I do not think I understand what you mean…”

“It is Gahyeon! She has run off, and Mother will end me when she finds out!” Siyeon cries as Dami pulls her over to the couch.

“I will go make some tea.” You quickly say before exiting the living room.

You listen into their conversation as you set the kettle, filled with water, on a metal stove.

“When was the last time you saw Gahyeon?” Dami asks, and you hear a few papers shuffling around as Siyeon sniffles and tries to recollect herself.

“Two nights ago, when Handong came to visit. She has not been around since.”

You hear Dami write on a piece of parchment paper before stopping.

“Has Handong received word of this incident?”

“Yes, and she wishes me nothing but the best in the effort to find my sister.”

Dami sighs before continuing to write.

“I do not know why I expected something better than a non-committal answer from Handong.”

“So you’ll help me?” Siyeon hopefully asks.

“Of course, Siyeon, Gahyeon is our sister. After your nerves calm, we will take a trip to the mansion and take a look around. Is that alright?”

“Yes, but I must ask, are they going to be coming with us?”

You try to hide in the kitchen because you think your cover is blown, but luckily for you, the kettle whistles and you quickly pull it off of the stove as Dami answers.

“Do you not want more help?”

“No, I want them there. They make you a better detective, in all honesty.” Siyeon briefly chuckles before blowing her nose. “Thank you for taking me in, Dami. That is something I have always loved about you.”

“Siyeon, you are my sister. You can count on me when you need me.” Dami sets a hand on Siyeon’s shoulder as you walk into the room with two teacups.

“It will help with congestion.” You softly say before handing her the cup.

“Thank you for your consideration. I appreciate the thoughtfulness that you always seem to show.” Siyeon expresses her gratitude, and you bashfully smile.

“Ah, thank you for your praise.” You hand Dami her cup with a smile. “It is exactly how you like it.”

You grab your cup from the windowsill before taking a seat next to Dami.

“Thank you again, to the both of you. I do not think I will be able to thank you enough.”

~

You notice the way that Dami softly stares at her childhood home, and you reach over and grab her hand.

“Nostalgic? I do not blame you at all.”

“A bit, but if I had the choice between staying here or being with you, I would choose you over and over again.” Dami interlaces her fingers with yours as you both walk towards the entrance.

“Ah, you romantic! You always know how to woo me~” You giggle before leaning on her shoulder. “I love you, now and forever.”

“I shall love you, forever and always.” She repeats back before holding the door for you.

“What a lady~” You tease before pulling her inside with you. “Do you know where you want to start looking?”

“She liked to hang out in the common room, so I will start there. Siyeon is going through her private office, but you are free to wander where you wish.” Dami explains before letting go of her hand.

“Are her private quarters off-limits?” You ask, and Dami shakes her head.

“She is not here to tell you otherwise, so you are more than welcome to look in there.”

“I will let you know if I find anything.”

The two of you part, and you slip into a familiar hallway as you look for the entrance to Gahyeon’s room.

Dami’s old room was not that obvious, but maybe Gahyeon’s will be harder to find-

You pause as you stare at a door that has her name engraved in the wood.

Okay, maybe I was wrong…

You open the door, and it softly creaks as you take a peek inside. It looks much like SuA’s room when you would come to visit her, except there were a few more items of value in here than you expected.

What catches your eye, however, is the stack of parchment paper sitting on her vanity. You take a seat before picking up one of the papers.

My Dearest Fox,

Oh, the day shall come when the moon and the sun shall eclipse, and we shall meet again. You, my sun, make the world bright, and I, the moon, cast shadow wherever I go. We work in tandem, like a perfect pairing made from above.

Tell me you will come and see me again?

Your Darling Cat~

You place the letter aside before grabbing another one.

Is it a love letter? Has Gahyeon found someone that has interested her?

You scan this letter more carefully, and another paragraph jumps out at you.

Fox, you continue to amaze me. The way you move captivates me beyond what is normal, and the way my heartbeats confuses my common sense. I feel sick at the thought of you, but I would rather feel like that than feel nothing at all. Do you feel the same way I do? A silly question, I know, but I must know that my love is to be received, and your love is to be given.

You shuffle through more of the letters, but it is more of the same.

Gahyeon must have run off with this ‘cat’... but where did they go? Why did they feel the need to run?

You collect the notes as you prepare to talk to Dami, but you pause when you see that you have left one behind.

Now, what is this?

You set the other papers aside, and you gasp when your eyes flicker to the last figure on the paper.

Gahyeon drew everyone with an animal beside them, and the last girl has a cat next to her… but that is not any regular girl.

It is Handong!

~

“Did you find anything?” Siyeon softly asks as Dami shakes her head.

“No, did you?”

“No.”

“So we are at a dead end?” Dami sighs before combing a hand through her hair. “She has done an excellent job at covering her tracks, I must admit.”

“WAIT!” You yell before rushing into the common room with a bunch of papers in your arms.

“Is everything alright? You look-”

“It does not matter. You need to see this.” You hand Dami the three documents that you looked at before handing Siyeon the rest.

“Darling, what am I looking at? Is this a love letter to Gahyeon?”

You nod before pointing at the drawing.

“I-” Dami’s eyes widen as she has the same realization that you do. “My God, that is why Handong would not give you a straight answer.”

“What do you mean?” Siyeon asks before Dami shows her the drawing. “My goodness, I never expected Handong, but why did she feel the need to run off?”

“I am not sure, but we can ask her when we find her.” Dami hands the other remaining papers to Siyeon as she carefully puts them in order.

“I will put these away. Good work, detective!” Siyeon sends you a wink before walking away. “You should consider putting their name on your building too, Dami, because they are just as smart as you are.”

“I have, but they refuse.” She answers before turning to you. “I am in disbelief that you found that. How did you know where to look?”

“I was once young and believed that I had to hide my love from everyone else.” You wistfully say as Dami bumps your shoulder.

“How did that turn out for you?”

“Quite well, but I think you will have to ask my lover if you want a concrete answer.”

You both laugh as Dami wraps an arm around you.

“I am proud of you, and who you have become.” She says as you look up at her. “I suppose this means that we should visit Handong. Will you come with us?”

“I have housework to catch up on, so I think I will pass on this adventure.” You admit as Dami leans her head against yours.

“Are you sure that you do not want to come along?”

“I should stay home because you have to earn your title of ‘The Greatest Detective Of The Civilized World’, Dami~” You tease before pressing a kiss to her face as you wait for the carriage to take her and Siyeon to Handong’s residence.

~

You thank the carriage driver for taking you to the apartment before you slip inside of the building. Although only two couples lived below you and one old lady lived in the apartment next to you, the building could be busy at times, depending on the season or if someone had plenty of company over.

Today, however, there was pure silence as you climbed up the stairs and grabbed the keys to your apartment. You go to unlock the door, but you notice that the lock has been picked, and the door opens with ease.

That was not how we left the apartment…

You pull your coat open as you grab the knife that Dami had gifted you when you had first moved in together.

“Dami, this is completely unnecessary.” You had said as you held the heavy knife in your hand. “I can take care of myself, and it is very unlikely that I will ever get into a situation where-”

“I know that you can protect yourself, darling, but I worry about you so much. This is less about your safety and more about giving me peace of mind while I am away.”

“So you worry about me?”

She places a hand on your cheek as she nods.

“It is only natural that I worry about you. I love you, and you will forever be one of my main focuses in life. I can teach you how to defend yourself, if you’d like.”

You smile before placing your free hand on hers.

“I would love that.”

The knife still feels heavy in your hand, as if the weight of using it for harm would drag you under the surface of the ground. Your tight grip on the knife remains as you slip inside of the door. Your eyes dart around the living room as you look for any signs of an intruder, but you sigh in relief and shut the door when you realize that your apartment has remained untouched.

Papers are still scattered around Dami’s desk in the study, and not one book has been touched in her personal library, so you continue to walk through the house before you reach the bedroom.

When you reach the bedroom, you yelp before putting your knife away as you come face-to-face with Gahyeon.

“Gahyeon! You should not be here!” You gently scold her before closing the blinds in the bedroom.

“Why not? Am I not welcome in this house?” She teasingly asks, and you resist the urge to smack her as you pull her into a tight hug.

“Your sisters are worried sick about you. Where have you been?”

“I was with Handong, I promise.” Gahyeon watches as you nod. “Did you figure that out from looking through my bedroom? I am impressed!”

“Now is not the time for congratulations or compliments. Why are you here?” You bluntly question her before pulling away from Gahyeon.

“As I said, I was with Handong before I realized that she was hiding something from me.”

You raise an eyebrow at her.

“Have you figured out what that would be?”

Gahyeon smirks before grabbing a folded paper in her pocket. She hands it to you with conviction as you grab it with confusion.

You carefully unfold the paper, and as you scan the paper, you gasp.

“It’s a wedding invitation…”

“Yeah, but not any wedding invitation. It’s yours and Dami’s. Care to explain?”

“Ah!” You cover your hand with your face as you realize that Gahyeon has probably figured it out by now. “So you know…”

“How long, though? And, most importantly, why wouldn’t you invite me?”

“We did not want the word getting out.” You admit as Gahyeon places a hand over her chest in offense.

“You think of me as a gossip?”

“If it makes you feel any better, it was not me.” You mutter as Gahyeon scoffs.

“Dami is so mean to me!” She whines, and you laugh as she collapses onto the bed. “Do you have the rings?”

“Of course I do.” You play with the collar of your shirt before walking towards the nightstand on your side. “I suppose now I can actually start wearing it…”

You pull out a silver box, and you set it on the bed as Gahyeon watches you open it. She squeals as you hand her Dami’s ring, and you put your own on your finger as Gahyeon admires the ring.

“The invitation said this wedding happened a day before JiU and Yoohyeon left… Were one of them your witness?” Gahyeon inquires.

“Yeah, they both were. I am guessing that you figured out that Handong was Dami’s witness?”

“Handong told me everything once I found this invitation and confronted her about it… I just wanted to hear it from you to confirm that the wedding really did happen. Does SuA know?”

“She is as clueless as Siyeon is, believe it or not. I have come close to telling her, but my lips have been sealed.” You smile at Gahyeon before putting the box away and closing the drawer. “Did you really stage your disappearance so you could talk to me alone?”

She sheepishly laughs before raising her hands in the air.

“Guilty as charged~”

You take Dami’s ring from your hand, and you admire it for a moment before heading into the kitchen.

“Dami and Siyeon will be back here soon after they figure out what you have done. I will prepare a meal for four, then.”

“Are you going to tell Dami what I know?” Gahyeon calls out to you as you grab a kettle.

“I trust that you have that covered, Gahyeon.”

~

When the bell tower tolls three o’clock, the sound of gentle knocking on the front door causes you to set the plates down and answer the door.

“Dami…” You mutter softly before pulling her inside. “We need to talk.”

You gesture for Siyeon to enter as you pull Dami aside, and Siyeon silently closes the door before heading into the kitchen.

“What is the matter?” She softly asks, and she takes your left hand in hers. “Your ring… you’re wearing it?”

“Gahyeon sniffed us out.” You say before handing her the ring that belongs on her finger.

Dami stifles a chuckle before taking the ring from your hand.

“I had no idea she would figure us out so fast… I thought we would have more time.” Dami looks remorseful, but you’re quick to comfort her with a warm smile and a soft kiss.

“C’mon, I made everyone something to eat.” You lead her along with your hand in hers, and you glance back at her before heading into the kitchen. “How long did it take you to figure out that Gahyeon came back here?”

“Handong is honest, so after a nice cup of tea and a quick chat, she told us of Gahyeon’s plan.”

Gahyeon flinches at the mentioning of her name, and Siyeon places a gentle hand on her back.

“Do not worry, sister, we are not mad at you. We just wish you would tell us before you run off to your lover.”

“We are not-”

Siyeon laughs at Gahyeon’s defensiveness.

“Do not be so foolish and angry, Gahyeon. Enjoy being in love. It is a special, wonderful thing.” Siyeon looks saddened at the thought, but she quickly lightens up once you begin to serve food.

“Siyeon, I have something I wish to tell you.” Dami softly says, and you carefully observe as Siyeon looks at Dami.

“Do tell.” Siyeon places her elbow on the table, and she rests her head on her hand as Dami  places both of her hands on the table.

“I… We-” Dami pauses as Siyeon takes Dami’s left hand in her free hand.

“Is that a wedding ring?”

“It is.” Dami softly says, and Siyeon smiles as she squeezes her sister’s hand.

“I am happy for you. I just wish we could have been there.”

You cannot help but to smile as you serve Dami a plate. You kiss her cheek before taking a seat next to her.

Her hand meets yours under the table as Siyeon turns her attention to you.

“I guess that makes us family now… Gahyeon?”

“Yes?” Gahyeon says in between bites of food.

“Is this the reason you ran from Handong’s estate to here? Did you wish to harass two innocent people-”

“Siyeon, please, it’s alright. She was just curious about what her sister was doing, especially when said sister tends to keep her affairs under wraps.” You say in defense of Gahyeon, and you speak again before Dami can get a word in. “There is nothing wrong with Dami wanting to be more private, but, if it is not too bold of me to say, I think the three of you should open up to each other more.”

“No, you have a point. We are sisters, after all.” Siyeon says, and the other two girls nod as someone knocks against the door again.

“I will get it. You three should talk.” You reassure them, and Dami pulls you in for a quick side hug before completely letting you go.

You quickly make your way to the door before opening it. You observe the man standing in front of you with a sense of familiarity. It was almost as if you had seen him before, as if you had known him a long, long time ago.

“Papa?” Your voice went soft as the older gentleman gently combs through his hair.

“I was not sure if you would recognize me since you had grown up so much, but I-”

He pauses when you give him a tight hug before wrapping his arms around you.

“Where have you been all of these years?” You mumble into his chest.

“I went out of the country to do some underground business with an old friend of mine… I believe your wife will know him very, very well.”

“Mr. Lee?”

“You were always a bright kid, but yes, that is the truth. I decided to come back when I heard that your mother was giving you some grief, plus I heard the news of your marriage from her father.”

“My father?” Dami softly says as she walks over to you.

“Yes, your father and I had many different ways of still learning about the two of you.” He reassures you as you let go of him.

“Would you like to come in?” Dami asks, and he shakes his head.

“I believe I have a visit to arrange with their mother, but I am more than happy to have that offer another time.”

“Another time, then.” She nods, and he bows before leaving the two of you alone.

“Case closed, I guess.” You shrug before closing the door behind you. “Are you surprised?”

“My father was a mysterious man, as was yours. I do not believe this behavior was above either of them.” Dami takes your hand, and she pulls you into her arms. “Our fathers had to take care of us in some way. Did you never think about how we were able to live such promising lives, despite the fact that neither of our mothers worked?”

“I… I had not thought of that before.” You put your coat on a hanger before taking Dami’s off of her. “Good work, Detective Lee~”

“I would not be able to do anything without you, love.” She gently says as you wrap your arms around her.

“Ah, as charming as ever, dearest.”

[emblazons]

a bunch of people think st does a very poor job at acknowledging the characters' trauma and all the things they went through. what do you think of this?

anon here with the tough questions! lmao

Honestly—and this is just an opinion (though I have evidence for why I think these things, as always)—I would say that the criticism of not addressing trauma (or even queerness) openly is probably one of the most valid criticisms of Stranger Things I've seen leveled at the show....though I personally don't think it's because The Duffers are incapable or "don't want to." Let me see if I can explain.

cut because a text wall about networks, capitalism & america

From the get, the Duffers had to contend with the fact that they wanted to do a number of things many networks wouldn't let them—Netflix was like, network 15+ they pitched to, and while Netflix allowed them to retain some element of creative control (writing and directing their own story), there are obviously still points of contention that come up between network and creator that show a difference in desired intent / storytelling and network sensibility. One I remember clearly was the criticism they got for showing people smoking, and how the show after S1 completely removed the cigarettes from any and all character narratives (think back to Joyce talking about needing "a pack of camel's," along with Hopper and even Steve smoking in S1...only for that to never come up again).

Now...the cigarette thing is a bit minor, but still shows that there is a LOT of weight Netflix still holds over The Duffers and their creative sensibilities—and when I think about how this show has moved SO readily out of the "Duffer's intended audience" space and into "Netflix cash cow / cultural zeitgeist" space, it becomes clear why Netflix's love of money and their need to "keep the show palatable to as many audiences as possible" (😒) would mean they would keep The Duffers from pressing deeply into topics that would mean talking about and showing beloved 12-18 year old characters having explicit conversations about/reactions to their trauma, whether that be tied to abuse, psychological torture, kidnapping, CSA, racism or even queerness.

—I do think The Duffers have tried to accommodate this "stifling" of their creative vision with an wide array of very creative and sometimes absolutely hysterical subtext, but...as we've seen many a time in fandom, a lot of people are either not satisfied with subtextual reasoning or just miss it entirely, which leads to people saying things like "you should have made it clearer because the average person won't see that" (should sound familiar)...which is kind of the point. If you can build plausible deniability into the things you're doing, you can get away with them in front of audiences that aren't trained to pick up on them...and considering all of the stories that influenced M&R / their interviews, I think they're relying on subtext to shove their less delicate sensibilities into the "Netflix version" of their tale.

Basically: what you see is The Duffers vision filtered through the sensibilities of Netflix's desire to get as many people as possible to watch the show—and given that this includes both bigots and children...we're stuck in many ways with a "sanitized" version of the story The Duffers had to tell. The fact that they're cagey as hell about their slightly "freer" ending AND are finishing ST with Netflix and then moving all of their darker shows to their own production company makes me believe this even more, too—especially given that wanted to make this show on HBO...and we all know the sensibility difference between HBO and Netflix. That says enough about the "content filtering" aspect for me to believe its at least partially true.

All that being said: I do think they could have done a LOT more to show their positions on things like racism in Lucas and Erica's storylines, and do hold a lot of frustration about the fact that Netflix is asking them relegate queer character development to subtext—though anyone who saw the sociological changes in America and media after what we went through in 2016-2022 especially KNOWS why you would do something like that. It's been a deeply troubling and brutal time in the country Stranger Things is both set and created in...and given that capitalism still wants money from bigots, this is where we're a little bit stuck.

So, to finally answer your question, I guess: Yes. I agree they should have done more to make trauma clearer across the board in this show, and wish they would have in many ways, because it would have made the story stronger. That said...I understand almost entirely why they couldn't/didn't, and don't want to say Stranger Things having more subtext in several areas over explicitly stated makes the story less exciting to explore.

I do hope their caginess moving into the shows ending means we're gonna get the "darker stuff" explored more clearly though—and that, once we're done with the story, Matt and Ross get a chance to elaborate more on what they wanted without the filtering that network popularity placed on them.

Thanks for the ask!

[silversnake888]

Some Synastry Notes

I've had a helpful guide to use when dissecting synastry charts, so I wanted to share it here. Under the read more is how the other person's planets affect you.

Your Planets in Their Houses:

Sun - This is where you see them as being hooked on or fixated on your expression. This will show their tendency in the way they interact with you. Examples:

1st house: your encouragement of their spontaneity and provision of new circumstances for them can pique their interest and typically get them to feel excited about you. This is useful for people whom you need to keep entertained or children.

6th house: this person will display their analysis in a way that suggests they like or approve of you. 6th house person may be a subordinate to you and will like you based on your reflection as a boss. So, if you're a bad boss then they will most likely dislike you.

7th house: they can be superficial with you, despite willingly communicating with you.

Moon - This shows the area of their lives through which they can affect you emotionally. You see them as sensual or practical/values-oriented in their expression of their house, pursuing tangible evidence of their own progress. The other is more emotionally responsive to your engagement with this house of theirs. Examples:

1st house: they are more responsive to you as a person, and seem, to you, more practical as themselves in this area. They can be extremely attracted to you but may react in a brutish way to get your attention. Or, they can be pleasurable to hang around with.

8th house: they are subject to your influence

11th house: they are strongly networked, and you may admire them for this.

Venus - They calm you down and focus your expression in this house. The other tends to like socializing with you over this same house. Examples:

7th house: brings your general social concerns to light

8th house: highlight your investigation and exercise of power

12th house: revolves around your spirituality and concerns for the greater environment.

Mars - This is where you attempt to steer the other's behavior into a form you can register. Examples:

6th house: may attempt to steer how you work.

10th house: you give structure to them

11th house: you may use your social world or the information at your disposal to influence this person.

Jupiter - You tend to be boisterous, optimistic, and intrepid when the other displays the relevant area of life. You can be inappropriately cheerful or arrogant towards the other's struggles.

Lilith - You see the other as reckless or hasty in the affected house. How you handle that recklessness can differ, however.

Their Planets in Your Houses:

Sun - You have a natural attachment to this house's area in their lives. Examples:

1st house: you attach to their instinctive personality and drive. If everything is normal, you tend to like them and have an easier time being attracted to their company.

5th house: they may respect and sometimes compete with you.

7th house: they tend to be unsettlingly frank with you, overwhelmingly exposing more of their lives to you than you need to know.

12th house: they tend to hold secret opinions about you.

Moon - You are inclined to have an emotional attachment to the other person based on this house. They have greater comfort exchanging with you in this area. So, if you need the upper hand then insult or ignore them under this house. Examples:

3rd house: listen to them, but then not do what they want.

8th house: enemies should be allowed to assert as much power as they want... into a vacuum. Be unmoved by their attempts to influence you and the tie will eventually break.

11th house: they can be confused with excessive information and mixed messages on your end.

Venus - This is where they are exceptionally forceful in this area of life given your prompting. They are likely to boil with power in your eyes if you get to know them. This planet is where we willingly exchange with someone when we are ready to speak, respond, filter, translate and reinterpret everything we process into a final, smooth-looking act. They are alert to the end goal here.

Mars - You may be protective of the other person based on the house's themes. This can resemble possessiveness. You can wrangle with the other for control here. All houses with a visiting Mars are prone to imbalance.

Jupiter - You can be overwhelmed by the other in their attempts to express your house, as they seem to not have time for your little attempts to air your side of the dynamic regarding this house. So, this is where they can be one-sided with you. Examples:

1st house: they perform lots of tasks without cooperating with you as a teammate.

3rd house: they tend not to hear your opinions.

5th house: they love to project their egos in your presence but won't let you project yours.

7th house: they have a real conversation with you without managing to give your side any credence.

Lilith - You are kept on your toes. The other person consistently surprises you here, compelling you to evolve your approach to this house. Your tolerance for their surprises noticeably biases your liking of and potential expanded partnership with them. In positive cases, you are encouraged to break barriers in how you express this house. Examples:

2nd house: they affect your money priorities.

3rd house: they affect your individualism

4th house: they affect your feelings on preexisting topics.

Source: Hayden's Book of Synastry by Ajani Abdul-Khaliq. Please support them! This book has helped me tremendously.

[chains-of-destiny]

Hi! Your introductory post is amazing?

Care to share some facts about the ROs?

Hey! I'm not sure if you meant this, but here you go (I haven't completed their character pages just yet, so this text might change in the actual game):

Barnabas

Barnabas's personality is a constantly shifting landscape, shaped by the winds of circumstance and the company he keeps. One moment, he can come off as overbearing and controlling, demanding that things be done his way without compromise. Then, in another, he would transform into a charismatic and charming figure, effortlessly winning over those around him with his quick wit and playful banter.

But within this ever-changing terrain lies treacherous crevices and volatile eruptions. The slightest inconvenience or disagreement can trigger Barnabas's explosive anger, causing him to lash out with insults and sharp remarks. This left a trail of fractured relationships in his wake, as those who had experienced his temper found it difficult to forgive and forget. Yet, there are moments of genuine kindness that shine through Barnabas's rough exterior. In those moments, he surprises both himself and others with acts of selflessness and compassion.

Loyalty is the cornerstone of Barnabas's values. He expects unwavering devotion from those in his inner circle and fiercely protects them in return. However, any hint that someone views him as inferior or disregards him will send Barnabas into a rage that can last for days.

As an officer in the Republican Army, his position was secured through his brother's influence and his own magnetic charisma. His comrades respect his tactical prowess but also fear his volatile nature. Many speculate on the origins of Barnabas's temperament, with numerous rumors circulating but none of them providing a definitive answer. Perhaps even Barnabas himself doesn't know the true reason behind his ever-shifting personality.

Zenon

Zenon is a gentle soul, always careful with his words and actions. At social gatherings, you can often find him tucked away in a corner, observing quietly from a distance. Just when it seems like he may finally join in on the conversation, Zenon instead flashes a shy smile and retreats further into his shell. But in the company of close friends, his true personality blossoms like a flower in sunlight. He becomes animated and lively, engaging in deep conversations that showcase his vast knowledge and passionate opinions. His eyes sparkle with excitement as he delves into his favorite topics, eager to share his perspective with anyone who will listen. In these moments, it is impossible not to notice the fire within Zenon—the burning desire to be heard and understood.

Loyalty and honesty are two values that hold great importance to Zenon. He treasures the few close friendships he has cultivated over the years, valuing their trust and unfaltering support above all else. A reliable friend, he is always there to offer a listening ear or lend a helping hand whenever needed. And if you ever want to see him flustered, just look in his general direction for more than a few seconds, and his cheeks will flush a bright shade of red.

Renna

From the moment Renna opens her eyes in the morning to the second she collapses onto her pillow at night, she is in constant motion. She thrives off the adrenaline rush, the thrill of pushing boundaries and testing limits. Every day is a new adventure for Renna, an opportunity to conquer the world and leave her mark. She is charming and charismatic, drawing people in with her infectious energy and magnetic personality.

She values ambition and drive above all else. Renna has seen too many people settle for a mediocre existence, letting complacency creep into their lives like a disease. But not her, she refuses to let that happen. Renna has dreams of dying rich and famous, with her name sung by drunken strangers in rundown taverns. But for now, she settles for the thrill of the chase, the anticipation of the next big score. She knows that success doesn't come to those who wait; it comes to those who chase after it relentlessly and refuse to take no for an answer.

Along with her unwavering determination and infectious energy, Renna possesses proficiency with melee weapons. She wields them with precision and grace, but don't underestimate her ability to fight dirty if necessary. After all, winning is all that matters to Renna, no matter what tactics she must use to come out on top.

Iris

You can learn a thousand little stories and details about Iris without coming any closer to deciphering her true self. When confronted with personal questions, it's like trying to catch a butterfly with a broken net - often deflecting with a witty joke or steering the conversation elsewhere, leaving you more confused than before. Yet, on the surface, she emanates kindness and charisma with a constant smile on her face and a sparkle in her eye. From her parents, she inherited a sharp wit and a curiosity that seems to know no bounds, teetering on the edge of recklessness.

Above all else, she values connection, human connection. It's not the kind of connection that can be easily quantified or measured, but rather the intangible bond that forms when two souls truly understand each other. Iris craves these moments of genuine connection like a desert craves rain, and she will go to great lengths to find them. She would strike up conversations with strangers without hesitation, eagerly listening to their unique stories and uncovering hidden gems just waiting to be discovered. In Iris's eyes, every person holds a story worth hearing within them, and she relishes uncovering them.

Elaine

Elanie is strong-willed and assertive, and she will often come off as rude or abrasive to others, but she makes no apologies for her behavior. Trust does not come easily to her, and she always expects the worst from people. As a result, she tends to stay away from others and prefers to keep to herself in her own corner. With a sharp tongue and quick temper, she isn't afraid to speak her mind, often using sarcasm and biting remarks as her contribution to any conversation.

She values assertiveness and getting things done, no matter the cost. Though she may never admit it, she secretly respects those who stand by their beliefs, even if they differ from hers. However, weakness and indecisiveness are qualities she has no patience for. In any argument, Elanie is a formidable opponent. She will fight tooth and nail to prove her point, never backing down without a fierce struggle.

Along with her sharp mind, her skills in hand-to-hand combat are formidable, and she is highly proficient in using a variety of weapons.

These are the things that come to mind about the ROs without spoiling the story.

[trashlie]

ILY FP 210, 211, 212

WOOOOOOOF I’ve been holding off on writing this post, because I wanted to wait for this whole “episode” to fully come out. Quimchee revealed they were all meant to happen in one episode, but SO MUCH was happening in the episode that it was too long to do as the one. I... kind of wish I hadn’t waited because now there is SO MUCH for me to cover, so I’m going to do my best to keep this organized and coherent.

No lie, these go up there in my top episodes, especially 212. I have a feeling I might have some different feelings than others on this one...? We’ll see, I’m keen to hear how all of you are thinking and feeling about it. To me, these episodes really encapsulate a good 80% of the plot that we’ve been dealing with, and there’s some good reveals in here that have been a LONG time coming. I think everything is set up now for the time skip to come, and especially after all the events that transpired this arc (remember how this all started out so many moons ago with Nol going to the company Christmas party? That feels like it was years ago to what is happening now!) I am BEYOND excited to see what the time skips have in store for us! 

Anyway, before I start spoiling things, let’s get into it!

Well and truly, I love this arc! It’s really capture so much of the story this bigger story has centered on - the relationship between Nol and Kousuke. This isn’t the root of the story, of course, but it’s a significant portion of what we’ve come to read for, I think, and I cannot tell you how much I love seeing the characters verbally acknowledge things they’ve swept under a rug. 

212 felt especially raw to me - Kousuke’s confessions are tragic in the way of too little too late, and the realization that Nol was never against him, that he was always on the same side, that they could have been an incredible team may come to haunt him. That acknowledgement of his that nobody really liked him - no one else but the one person he had demeaned and devalued until he was truly nobody - really hit me like a sucker punch. I truly thought these were truths Kousuke wouldn’t be able to reach until he lost more, like his job or his sense of self, but I guess we can argue that he’s lost a lot of his sense of self; from the moment he punched Nol, it’s clear that he’s dissociating. That also serves to tell us how important this moment is for Kousuke, what it means to him, what Nol means to him.

Now, I’ll be upright honest with you guys, because I think this is where the difference of opinions will come in. I really enjoy stories with this kind of element of hatred and care so intricately interlaced in family or friends. There’s something about this sense of care being overwritten by jealousy so scathing it mutates into resentment and hatred and loathing. The way these two feelings battle out, the way ugly emotions are so strong they come to eclipse any hope for warmth. Idk it’s intriguing to me, it creates a compelling story. 

And in Kousuke’s case, it is! A running theory has been that Kousuke treats Shinae the way he does because he is, subconsciously, treating her how he wishes he’d treated Nol. As the story went on and Kousuke’s ugliness started to come out more and more and his paranoia began to consume him, I think it was probably difficult for many to find credence in this theory - that there was no way Kousuke could have cared about Nol and transferred it to Shinae when he treated Nol how he did but I’m still here for the theory. It’s just that Kousuke’s ugliness was so strong, overwhelming, it eclipsed anything else. 

Now I’m not saying I think Kousuke loves Nol or thinks of him as a brother, but rather I think deep down, he understood they were connected. As a child, Nol was the only person who didn’t treat Kousuke like an object - like a puppet or rich vending machine or influence to be gained. But how could Kousuke allow himself to think so favorably of Nol when he was so deeply rooted in jealousy? 

This is what I find especially intriguing about their dynamic. Something I talk about a lot is that Nol and Kousuke are both the products of abuse - Kousuke is the way he is due to neglect and manipulation, and in turn he took that out on Nol. I’ve seen people say Kousuke doesn’t make sense to them, but he DOES and this episode really drove that home and confirmed a lot of things I’d felt. 

Kousuke’s treatment of Nol all stems from Rand and his affair. Let’s look at it from Kousuke’s perspective. He has a father who is never around, and when he is he’s busy and always puts his career first. He rarely joins them for family time, there’s a rift between him and his wife. All young Kousuke wants is for his father to spend time with him, to be around, to notice him. His mother tells him things - if he’s a good boy Father will pay attention; if he wants his father’s attention he needs to be just like him; if he wants Father to care to notice he must be exactly like him. But his mother also says other thing - that there’s someone else, money is being wired to someone. At school people murmur similar things. 

All he wants is his father’s approval, his father’s pride, his father’s attention, his father’s time. He must not be good enough, yet. He must not matter, yet. He’ll make sure he does, though. He’ll do exactly what his mother says, he’ll buckle down just like she tells him, he’ll make sure to become the perfect son that his father can be proud of. 

So you can understand, then, why the discovery that the murmurs are true, that there’s another family, would shatter him the way it did, why it remains a point of breaking for him even as an adult, why he never really reconciles his father’s affair. How is it that the man who has no time for him or their family, had enough time to create a second family? Why was he so undeserving of his time? Why was he so undeserving of his attention? 

And it rooted deep inside him, right in the core of his foundation. This other boy who describes his father as someone who couldn’t possibly be the same man as his father - a funny man, a kind man. That is not the father Kousuke knows, so why does this other child know him? (Never mind that this child has also never met that version of his father.) It all stems from that: a craving for something he’s never received. 

Kousuke’s whole speech about how there was only one kind, sweet, generous, funny person in his life was the very person he attacked and tore down hit me HARD. His admission of fear, that he ACTUALLY ADMITTED TO BEING SCARED, that he’ll never be good enough for Rand, that nothing he would ever do would make him worthy of his attention actually hurt. This is the kind of thing I’ve been wanting Kousuke to acknowledge and embrace, because it’s the one thing that has been fueling and propelling him. He doesn’t do this job because he’s passionate about it - he does it because he’s still vying for love and attention. He didn’t forsake his childhood because he was above it - he literally sacrificed it for his father. Regardless of what you think about Kousuke now, it has to be acknowledged that he, too, has suffered. And let’s not pretend that Yui truly believed that Kousuke could win Rand’s affection this way - it still feels like it was a game for her, a manipulation to turn him into someone she could use to get her way, a puppet if you will. It’s fucking sad to think that he gave up everything because he was so determined to earn his father’s love, that his love and attention was believed to be so conditional he had to make himself worthy of it. 

“I hate you for making me aware this person exists. And I hate your face being a constant reminder of it.” 

So many times, Kousuke has berated Nol for his playful, joking behavior, for seeming so lax and carefree. I’d always thought it was jealousy that he didn’t have that kind of life, that he wasn’t allowed it - and that probably is still a part of it - but now we know that when Yeonggi laughed and played around, he was a vision of a version of Rand Kousuke had never known, a spitting image of a man Kousuke didn’t even know could exist. 

And as Nol points out, it was all for naught. All of Kousuke’s jealousy and his fear, tearing down Nol so that he could instead get to know that version of Rand. All of it was for naught, because who knows if that man even exists? It seems like only one person ever knew her, and who’s to know if she didn’t make him up. Kousuke has spent his entire life - sacrificed his childhood, accelerated himself through school, forsook any fun or leisure - on a quest for a man who probably doesn’t exist, for something he’ll never achieve. He spent his whole life tearing down someone innocent trying to get to something he’ll never have. 

I really thought it would take for Kousuke to lose it all, to stumble in his career before he’d realize it, but here he is. 

But on the other side of that, we have Nol. Nol, who also lost - and lost more than Kousuke did. Nol who was isolated and alienated, Nol who tried time and time again to reach out and create a connection, and was refused every time. Nol who suffered under Kousuke and Yui’s watch over and over. Nol, who despite it all, still tried to treat Kousuke well, still tried to give him a chance, still tried to reach out to him at his most desperate. 

I think that really illustrates something important: an understanding that there is a reason for Kousuke’s behavior and his paranoia, where it comes from, but that reason doesn’t justify. I can acknowledge both that Kousuke absolutely is the product of his environment and that he has been an asshole about it lol. Idk I can admit that my intrigue in his has grown a LOT. 

These episodes have just tapped into something so deep that I love about this series - that our experiences heavily color our interpersonal relationships, as well as our relationships with our own selves. Nol notes that he, too, suffered, he, too, lost, he has been alone and alienated and despite it all he still tried, and he still attempted to be a good person, in contrast to Kousuke who let his suffering turn him into an asshole. It was kind of a hard-to-read moment, because Nol spoke the truth, and as much as I feel for Kousuke, Nol is right. Because he never attempted to deal with those ugly feelings, because he never chose to face them, because he instead wore them as armor, it became his identity, he became an asshole through those experiences. Had there ever been a moment that he could have met Nol in the middle, that he could have put aside his jealousy, that he could have turned off his Rand blinders, he could have seen what Nol was able to see earlier and more clearly. And isn’t that sad? They could have been a great team, they could have had each others’ back in a world where no one else did, they could have been there for each other, but Kousuke couldn’t cross that line. 

Again, I fully acknowledge that Kousuke is the way he is because of those experiences. I acknowledge that this is the wake up call he needed, that he was forced to finally reckon with the truth. 

But I also worry what will come of Kousuke as a result of Rand’s arrival. Is he going to backpedal? Is this going to short-circuit something and push him to double down, or is it going to free him? 

Kousuke has spent his entire life trying to earn Rand’s favor, to earn his attention. Everything he has done has been an angle to get closer to his father. Like, when you break it all down, that’s the sad, basic truth. He was a child who so desperately wanted his father’s attention that his life became about that. And here comes Rand, showing up when it looks like Kousuke is running away. Rand who never had time for him, Rand who didn’t shower him with warmth and affection. 

Rand who showed up and wailed “My son” in response to Nol. 

That whole scene honestly hurts me. Nol is hurt, Rand is anguished and horrified, and Kousuke? Kousuke finally witnessing his father show a fatherly side - and it wasn’t for him. And not only that but Rand might not even believe that Kousuke was trying to get help, that he attempted to get Nol up but couldn’t. And does it even matter when the truth is that Kousuke DID cause this? I can’t imagine it was his intention - I don’t think his mind went “punch Nol and he’ll fall over the railing” as much as Nol tried to leave and Kousuke reacted on that. But the point still stands: even if it wasn’t his intention, this is still ultimately his fault. Nol goaded him on and played a part, but Kousuke was the hand that acted. 

I fear that this will ruin what little relationship Kousuke has with Rand - and it’s a fear because it means Kousuke could swing in two wholly opposite directions. Does he double-down and return to the side of his mother, the only family member who has made him feel like someone’s child? I don’t think he’s at the point where he can extricate himself from the family, as good as it would be. And I worry that if that’s the case, will he double back down on his treatment and resentment of Nol? For this one moment, he saw that they were equals, that they both had a broken, shitty relationship with Rand. And then Rand showed up, showing that paternal side Kousuke has longed for. 

As much as I WANT Kousuke to hold on to that moment, I don’t know that he can. I think the cracks have formed and I think his fragile reality is crumbling faster, but I fear he’ll retreat back into the “comfort” of the world he knows. 

Here’s the thing about Kousuke: on some level he knows. He knows that Yui isn’t great, he knows that she has done awful things, he knows that Nol did no wrong, he knows that Rand will probably never change. But these are such uncomfortable truths and he has spent his life propped up by a false reality. This was pointed out by AugmentedElle on reddit, but look at the difference in Kousuke’s flashbacks. Look at the memory in 210 vs 212. The flashback in 210 is the strongest, most vibrant memory we’ve yet seen. Ordinarily they’re in some kind of grey scale, or at least muted colors, sometimes with spot color like in Shinae’s. In Nol and Kousuke’s flashbacks thus far, we’ve seen those muted colors or alterations - Nessa’s face appearing scribbled out in Kousuke’s memories, just as in 212. The use of color suggests that the memory in 210 is, quite possibly, fabricated. It starts out with Kousuke dazed, unable to remember what just happened, and Yui comes in and tells him he won’t have to see that boy for a long time. It feels like something happened - that perhaps Kousuke did something (the huffing that parallels his huffing after he punches Nol in the current story) and blocked it out or whited out and Yui came in and gave him an iteration of the story. It’s the strongest memory because it didn’t come from him - because it was filled in and colored in by someone else. The whole time we’ve thought Nol had perhaps been pushed to the bring, that Kousuke instigated a fight and Nol snapped, but maybe it was never Nol. Maybe the whole time Kousuke has associated Nol with danger and violence - because he was wired to think that way. That whatever happened and lead to that moment was so traumatic he doesn’t have the real memory, and instead carries a fabrication. 

And that is essentially the basis of Kousuke’s entire life. Regardless of intent, Yui does manipulate Kousuke. She says things knowing full-well the effect they’ll have. Consider that moment with Nol and Nessa vs Yui in Kousuke’s flashback in 212. He watches Nessa blow raspberries on Nol’s cheek, a warm and silly exchange full of so much love and care - and then he looks up at Yui, who wears her maternal mask, shadows falling eerie over her face. Doesn’t it feel so much like she set this up? Doesn’t it feel like she knew Nessa and Nol would be around? She fills his head with things like “the only way to get your father’s attention is to be just like him” and “we’re not like other families we’re so special” and “isn’t it just so wonderful that rand at least has enough time to eat with us”? That’s not vouching for Rand - that’s passive aggression towards Rand and creating an idea of who Rand is - that Rand unwittingly lives up to. Despite speaking of the affair in front Kousuke, she turns and tells him that “Your father values us too much, he would never do such a thing” - a blatant lie that only plays into that feeling Kousuke wears that he’s been cheated, that there exists a version of his father that has been denied to him. Nessa tells Nol that Rand was a kind, sweet, generous, funny man. Yui tells Kousuke that Rand is anything but funny and he has no time for jokes. Maybe both are true, but Nol’s unintentionally makes a point about how Yui speaks of Kousuke’s father, vs how Yui spoke of Nol’s father. Why would a parent speak ill of the other parent -- if not to make the child see them that way. 

(She also tells him there’s nothing she hates more than people who don’t take things seriously, and well, look at how Kousuke came out.) 

There’s a fragile cognitive dissonance between what Kousuke knows to be true - that is, the reality that has been shaped by his experiences and Yui’s manipulation - vs actual reality, and we’ve seen this a number of times when various events threaten that tentative balance. Kousuke at the club, angry and paranoid, is aware of what people really think of him. Deep down he knows people don’t see him as great, as an honorable gentleman. Deep down he knows he’s a selfish, judgmental asshole, but it doesn’t fit the fabricated reality he believes in, so it only comes out in his paranoia. He knows that Nol is like him, that he didn’t have the love Kousuke coveted, that he tried to get by quietly, but Kousuke’s fear and paranoia still thought of him as the boy who had earned the love that Kousuke couldn’t, and that made him a threat. He knows what kind of person Yui is and has tried to draw boundaries, but he’s still told her things about Nol that she could act on, because he knows what she is capable of. When people or events fracture that reality, he struggles and lashes out, because he needs that reality to keep it together, but it’s crumbling fast. 

Between the phone call with Rand and the moment that Rand shows up on the scene - what is the state of Kousuke’s reality? Is it crumbling? Is he trying to stuff the crumbling rocks back into the foundation? Will he retreat to his mother, the only one who can keep the tint of his rose colored glasses or will he be forced to face reality for what it really is? I wish it would be the latter, but I just don’t know if he’s ready for it yet. I don’t know if he can face that which he’s run from this whole time just yet. 

As for Nol, woooooooof. What a fucking NIGHT. To think - THIS IS HIS GODDAMN BIRTHDAY. On the one hand, I think, maybe this can give him some kind of peace. He’s finally gotten a piece of Kousuke’s mind, he finally knows how Kousuke sees him, what he thinks of him, and what motivated him all these years. Maybe with this knowledge, Nol will be able to walk away in peace. He doesn’t have to wonder anymore. He knows where he stands - and where he’s always stood - and I think he’s made it clear that he’s drawn his line. He is done, he is finished, with all of them. If Kousuke can find his way to the other side of the line, then good for him, but Nol has no intention of trying to bring him over anymore. 

I do think there’s a lot of room for them to reconcile in the future - when Nol’s raw anger has maybe ebbed, when Kousuke has found himself and learned to stand on his own ground, rather than prop himself up by his fabricated reality. But they are far from there. I’ve said before that I had a feeling maybe we’ll see the three main characters reunite in the time skip as adults after having gone separate ways, and that feeling still lingers. Nol has made it clear that he still wants to get away - and frankly I think he needs to. I wish he’d say so much to his friends, I wish he’d tell them where they stand. I feel so bad for Shinae, who went through so much grief and angst and really put herself out there to bring him back, to get her closure - and then when she had it and was ready to let him go, he insisted on staying. For him to turn around and leave like that again, after everything she told him, after the ways she opened up to herself, god that must hurt a lot. I guess on the one hand, she got the closure she wanted but.... it wasn’t even that long ago that Nol was making jabs at Kousuke for abandoning his friends, and there he goes doing it a SECOND time. 

There’s a piece I’d love to give more time and thought to - that maybe all along, on a deep, subconscious level, Kousuke feared Nol leaving and that’s why he’s always acted when Nol was on the leave. If Nol leaves he’ll be truly alone. If Nol goes, there is truly no one left who ever liked him, who ever saw any value in him. This post is already long enough, so I’ll try to spit that out later this week, if I can. I think it’s not a coincidence that Kousuke punched Nol as he was leaving, that he didn’t bring himself to do it when Nol promised he’d leave, just as he let Yui know Nol was planning to leave. Maybe he doesn’t recognize it yet, but I think Kousuke is terrified of being left alone and Nol escaping without him. 

Like I said, more on that later, but it’s an important point that I think ties in really well with this relationship Kousuke has towards Nol. It’s complicated, fucked up, toxic, and messy, and it needs a LOT of untangling by professional help. But I do think these last episodes really set something up for Nol and Kousuke’s future - as much as there is so much resentment and anger between them, there’s a mutual sense of longing, of needing each other to fill a void: for Nol, he sought out a brother in Kousuke, a companion against the adults in their lives; for Kousuke, that knowledge that Nol, too, had suffered that neglect, and was the only person who had ever truly liked him. I think one day when that anger has died, when they’ve made peace and hopefully worked on themselves, when Kousuke has freed himself, I think there’s a chance they will be able to reconcile. Like I said, maybe they’ll never be family to each other; there’s so much damage there, it’s really possible that can never be undone. But I think at some point, at least, they will see themselves on the same side, rather than each other. 

[thenotificationmachine]

Theory response: why Stolitz might actually be Stockholm syndrome

In regards to Helluva Boss, I believe that Stolitz is in fact an unsettling example of Stockholm syndrome (a hostage or prisoner falling in love with their captor) ever since I saw the hallucination in “Truth Seekers” which has Blitz blushing while Stolas holds him on a chain, as can be seen in the image below (keep in mind that this is Blitz's honest mindset under the influence of truth gas).

@stolitzy, a (now ex-) friend of mine, has made a rebuttal of this view which, while an interesting read, does not in my opinion actually invalidate or disprove it. I’ll go through some of the main points of their post and address them one by one. “There is NO kidnapping and no falling in love with the captor” – while this is true in the literal sense, by effectively holding Blitz’s company (and his life’s dream) hostage through the sexual arrangement, Stolas can be seen as trapping him in the arrangement, which could be seen as a figurative form of captivity and thus Blitz falling in love with him could still count as a form of Stockholm syndrome. It's also a MAJOR misinterpretation of my argument – as Stolas is the one who came up with the arrangement and forced Blitz into this arrangement, he would be the one holding Blitz captive, not the other way around. “[H]e’s had a lot of hardships in the course of his life and the whole show is about dysfunctional relationships and what real life is all about” – again, Blitz is the victim of the Stockholm syndrome, not the captor. “Stolas saw it as “oh wow the love of my life came back after decades of disappearing and I wouldn’t do anything to hurt him” and you can even see it in his compassionate face; we can see he’s not the hurtful type as Blitz portrays him as” – Just because Stolas isn’t intentionally nurturing Stockholm syndrome within Blitz’s mind doesn’t mean he isn’t doing it at all. “But what we do know is that Stolitz is her favourite ship; so of COURSE she wouldn’t do anything to harm with it since it will be canon and claimed as a healthy relationship” – While Viv is a great artist, she’s (IMO) an AWFUL writer; examples of this are: . Her giving Verosika only 1 set of lines in “Ozzie’s” (the episode she should have WAY more prominence in had since it’s set in the Lust Ring and she’s a lust demon) in order to make episode 8 (as far as I understand from Viv’s statements and the footage that she released of it) about random hellhounds we’ll in all likelihood never see again rather than making the Lust Ring stuff a 2-parter in which Verosika is more important. . Going straight from the tragic lament of “Stolas Sings” in “the Circus” to business as usual (flirting and all) in “Seeing Stars” at the expense of all narrative consistency in order to support said ship.

As such, it’s VERY possible that Viv accidentally wrote a Stockholm syndrome ship without realising it and is now frantically backpedalling (if she’s even noticed it at all and isn’t just carrying on like nothing is wrong). “What IS unhealthy is shipping Blitz with Verosika; which was a been there done that type of relationship; if they had gone back they’d only be a recipe for disaster and go back to square one again” – while I agree that getting them back together right NOW is a terrible idea, I genuinely think that once Blitz has grown as a person and he and Verosika fully articulate the hurt they are harbouring inside to each other, they would be a FAR better couple than Stolitz since they (as far as I am aware) genuinely loved each other as the result of an organically developing romance rather than the transactional mess that is Stolitz. For more information why I think Blitzika is a better ship than Stolitz, check out my video below. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-q2GV6hvjVU “I mean if you really think about it if Blitz had Stockholm syndrome and if it was really THAT bad then why the FUCK would there unlimited fan art of Stolitz being TOGETHER?! Having a child together!” Do not underestimate the fucked-up elements of fandoms… Why are there people idolising the clearly abusive relationship between Harley Quinn and the Joker? Why is there art of people shipping Hazbin and Helluva characters with Valentino? Combine that with how much it’s being pushed by Viv and the team in as positive a light as possible and a large amount of the fandom’s lack of critical thinking (as evidenced by protagonist bias making people automatically side against Verosika simply because Blitz is the protagonist despite her clearly being the INNOCENT party in their relationship) and well… that’s why. Stolitzy also cites the following source: https://doodle-empress66.tumblr.com/post/660206487268982784/i-need-to-direct-everyones-attention-to-the-fact?_branch_match_id=link-1152086027557405904 As far as my understanding of Stockholm syndrome goes (and I know I’m not a professional psychologist, so this will probably not be as in-depth as if I was), a key part of Stockholm syndrome is the captive coming to believe (whether of their own accord or through the captor’s manipulation) that the captor is protecting them from a hostile outside world that they could not survive without them (a bit like how Judge Frollo in Disney’s Hunchback of Notre Dame convinces Quasimodo to stay in the cathedral by telling him that the people of Paris will hate him, though this example may not strictly qualify as Stockholm syndrome due to the former being the latter’s parental figure). As such, this source doesn’t do anything to disprove my theory. Stolitzy also cites numerous other sources showing Blitz’s romantic/sexual affection towards Stolas that, again, does NOTHING to disprove my theory; remember that Stockholm syndrome is all about the victim falling in love with their captor and so all the examples of “heart eyes” and Blitz’s human form kink could be equally argued to represent his Stockholm syndrome towards Stolas taking hold as the show goes on. Viv’s writing makes it even worse, since the way the show goes from “Ozzie’s” and “the Circus” straight to “Seeing Stars” makes it look like Blitz went to get some space only for his burgeoning Stockholm syndrome to make him come crawling back like a beaten wife and hide that anything was wrong. So remember, just because all the creepy elements are glossed over and Blitz gets lovey-eyed doesn’t mean there isn’t any Stockholm syndrome; if anything, that’s the version of reality the victim’s (in this case Blitz’s) mind is conjuring to convince themselves that their situation isn’t abusive when it clearly is.

[minubell]

Sorry for the delay in this week's oneshot! It ended up being waaaay longer than I expected. Like... double the length of my usual oneshots.

Anyway, here's Angmar saving Khamul. No he still hates him what are you talking about. They aren't becoming friends or anything. TW: Descriptions of injuries

Across the Sands of the East

Khamul is gone.

That in itself is not unusual. Of the two of them, most would expect Angmar to be the one to lean towards solitude and independence. Angmar is gruff, a fact he will admit to readily. Easy to anger and more likely to lash out in violence. He does not care for the opinions of others, and would never let his own actions be influenced by such a thing. It is an uneasy peace he holds with most of his companions, held in place only by Angmar’s physical might over them.

Khamul is far more sociable than he-far more likable. Angmar has seen many a time before how Khamul flows from one conversation to another, how he can slither his way into near anyone’s good graces. He is like a parasite that feeds exclusively on the praise of others. He gets along well with the rest of the Nine, save Angmar himself.

Even Indur reluctantly gets along with Khamul, despite their initial friction. Khamul is simply difficult to dislike, makes himself difficult to dislike.

Despite this, despite Khamul’s aptitude towards sociability, he does not work well with others. Not in the same way Angmar does with discord and strife and arguments. No, while Khamul is friendly towards near anyone, but he is friends with no one. Angmar has seen the way Khamul will part ways with someone with a smile and a laugh, only for his good spirit to vanish near instantly the moment he believes he is out of sight. He has seen the way Khamul will say nearly anything just to get others to like him, to the point where Angmar is not sure what opinions Khamul himself holds. He has seen Khamul’s attitude pivot so quickly that it must be fake.

Angmar may prefer his own company, but Khamul is worse than he is. Khamul only pretends to be friendly, keeping the illusion of amicability firmly fixed to himself like a mask. Angmar does not know what Khamul is truly like beneath the layers upon layers of deceptions.

Looking at them both, one would expect Angmar to be the one to disappear off on his own. But Khamul is the one who requests to go out on his own alone, Khamul is the one who vanishes for years upon end on tasks by himself, Khamul is the one who is often gone. Meanwhile, with Indur dogging at his heels near constantly, Angmar is rarely alone.

Khamul being gone is not unusual.

No. What is unusual is that Khamul is not just physically gone, but mentally gone. A feat that should be impossible. One day, over two weeks prior, Khamul had simply become unreachable. Angmar had not noticed it at first as he almost never has a reason to even attempt to contact Khamul, and Khamul has even less reason to contact him. But his master had noticed when he had attempted to reach out to Khamul through his ring, only to find no response. Even if he happened to be sleeping when their master first reached out, every subsequent call also went unanswered. Angmar knows his master’s call is painful to ignore. It is unthinkable that Khamul would willingly ignore it for so long.

Which would suggest, perhaps, it is unwilling.

With no one else accompanying Khamul on his journey, no one could truly say what had happened to him. As far as Angmar is concerned, Khamul is likely either dead or managed to somehow lose his ring like a fool.

…Though the second scenario may circle back around to the first anyway. At this point, all of them have far outlived their natural lifespans. Even Angmar knows removal of the only thing keeping them alive will probably result in their deaths.

“And Angmar?”

“Yes, master?”

“If you cannot bring back Khamul, do be sure you at least bring back the ring.”

Not Khamul’s ring, not his ring. The ring. Clearly, his master was also already assuming the worst had happened.

Ah, well. Khamul always had been a nuisance. Frankly, Angmar did not consider his death to be that much of a loss. Surely whoever his replacement was could not be as terrible as Khamul himself was. Perhaps, if he asked, his master would even let him choose another Nazgul again. Indur was by far the easiest to work with of the entire group, while the rest were all equally as annoying as they were frustrating.

Even apparently in death Khamul must be a nuisance. Angmar huffs slightly, kicking his boot across the ground, sending sand scattering in the wind. This is his first time visiting Rhun, and he can safely say he is not impressed. He has been trudging across these damned dunes since he left Mordor several days ago. The sun is hot, the sand is dry, and climbing up and down these sandy hills is frustratingly slow. Every step only serves to pour more sand into his boots, and trying to empty them is so ineffective he has given up on it.

He does not even know where he is going. He has a map he cannot read, and a direction he must go in. East. Well, many things are East. There are mountains in the East. The ocean, eventually, is in the East. North and East is cold, while South and East is somehow even hotter than it is at the moment. His master could not even give him the name of a city, as apparently Rhun was not in the habit of actually naming places. Just… East.

He’d been walking aimlessly, following the direction of the sunrise for days through the desert. He has somehow not even managed to run into any towns or villages in that time. It has only been sand. Angmar did not think it was possible for him to hate sand, as he has encountered it many times before lining beaches and Angmar loves the ocean. He will readily admit he was wrong now.

Angmar squints through the harsh sunlight, scanning his surroundings for any sign of civilization or-there’s smoke on the horizon.

He pauses and lifts a hand to shield his eyes. Yes, there is smoke on the horizon, rising up over one of the dunes. It is billowing up, dark and black and noxious looking. Clearly too large to be the smoke from a campfire, clearly too dark to be benign.

It is as good of a clue. If there is fire, there must be people.

Angmar quickens his pace slightly, making his way down into the next valley and scaling up the dune as fast as he can, though the journey is still painfully slow. The smoke is growing now, rising like a terrible cloud, reaching for the sun and threatening to blot it out.

He crests over the peak of the dune and spots what seems to be a city in the distance. He can see large walls surrounding it and large gates that have been thrown open, revealing several houses ablaze within. Yes, this is the source of the smoke he had seen because the city is on fire.

His gaze dips downwards, drawn by a dark shadow on the pale, yellow sand. About halfway between he and the city, perhaps a hundred feet from where Angmar stands, there is a body. Clearly human, and Angmar grimaces when he spots a familiar puff of a purple-dyed fur accessory amongst dark hair and pale, white cloth.

Khamul lays sprawled out upon the ground like a downed animal. The sand around him is wet, visibly darkened by the blood staining it. His wrists are bound in shackles, his arms stretched out over his head where he has collapsed forward in the sand. His head is buried in the space between his arms, face completely obscured from view. His hair, normally an obvious source of pride for Khamul, is matted with mud and blood, and lacking any of its usual adornments. His clothes are equally stained in the areas that have not been torn to shreds.

He looks… bad.

He looks dead.

But there is a man approaching Khamul’s limp body from the burning city, sword already drawn in anticipation, and men do not strike down corpses.

“Khamul!” Angmar bellows, racing across the sands. There is a song that streams past his lips like the breath of a dragon. The melody is fragmented-he cannot think swiftly enough to make it sound nice, but luckily music was never about beauty and more about intention.

It is an enchantment of swiftness, of speed, of urgency. With the might of the song at his heels he moves swiftly across the sand, closing the gap in moments. But the man is also there, raising his sword, ready to bring it down on Khamul’s head.

With no time to go around, Angmar bounds over Khamul’s body instead. Midway through his leap he snaps his teeth together, clipping off the end of his song and just as quickly beginning a new one. This is a song of strength, of power, of might. He can feel the song settle into his body only a moment before he lands on the ground before Khamul, his own blade already drawn and held high.

He swings it downwards like a club, catching the other man in the shoulder near the base of his neck. There is armor there, but it is irrelevant. The sharpness of his sword is irrelevant. The weight of his blow drives his enemy to his knees, and Angmar follows it with a brutal kick to the head, sending him sprawling to the floor.

Angmar gives him no chance to recover. He drives his sword straight down, through the man’s neck, nearly severing his head from the rest of his body.

The battle song still hisses past his teeth and he turns with a snarl, yanking his sword free from the corpse’s throat. Fresh blood splatters across the sand and he turns, surveying the dunes for a further threat. Screams of anguish and pain cry out from the burning city, but no one else leaves its smoldering walls and he lets the song fade to harsh, deep breaths.

He sheaths his sword, and it makes a strange, wet noise as it bloodies the inside of the sheath.

With a grimace Angmar turns back to Khamul and falls to his knees next to him. In that moment where he first laid eyes upon him, he only had the opportunity to take in the broad state of Khamul’s wellbeing before he had to move to defend him. With a moment now to actual survey his injuries, it is obvious something terrible has happened to him. His back is a shredded mess of both cloth and skin, the two bleeding together with bright red blood until it is hard to tell them apart. Carefully Angmar rolls him over, keeping one arm under Khamul’s shoulders and propping him over a knee to keep his upper body off of the sand.

When Angmar turns him over, Khamul’s head rolls to one side limply. His face is visibly bruised and bloodied, his eyes are closed and hidden slightly between the mess dark hair that has fallen over his face.

Yet Khamul clings to life like the parasite that he is. His breathing is swift and shallow, but he somehow despite his injuries he lives. Angmar grasps for Khamul’s right wrist with his free hand, and frowns slightly when he sees a familiar band upon Khamul’s second finger. Somehow, despite everything, he has managed to maintain possession of his ring.

Angmar scowls, but lowers his shoulder, awkwardly rolling Khamul from his knee to his back. It is hardly a graceful thing but Khamul is smaller and lighter than he is, and within a few seconds he has managed to get most of Khamul’s body against his own slouched back. He takes a moment to throw Khamul’s arms over his shoulders before slowly shifting, getting his legs under him and rising from the sand. He’s forced to lean forwards slightly to keep Khamul from rolling off his back and forced to keep his hands tucked under Khamul’s legs to keep him from sliding back to the ground.

It would be nice to be able to move away from the burning city, to find shelter somewhere from the sand, but Mordor is several days travel away and Angmar had encountered nothing on the journey here but sand and sun. Even if Khamul had managed to survive this long, Angmar doubts his stubborn clinginess to life would last for the entire duration of a trip without treatment. He is still actively bleeding, now both onto the sand and Angmar alike.

So. Not to Mordor. But there is shelter nearby, so Angmar turns his back to the West and trudges through the sand, towards the burning city.

With Khamul as deadweight upon his back, the short trip takes far longer than it should. But within a few minutes he slips inside the gates, slinking past screaming men as they scramble to put out multiple fires. They do not notice him as their attention is rightfully preoccupied elsewhere, which is good. It gives him the chance to survey where the fires are most heavily concentrated, then sneak along the wall towards a section of the city that is not actively burning.

He slips into the first open door he can find. It is a small house, one room only, furnished sparingly by a single bed, a table and a chair. Only two windows on the same wall as the door. Defendable. Fortunately it is empty as well, probably because the owner is attempting to help their neighbors with the flames.

Angmar slides Khamul off of his back and onto the bed, taking care to roll him onto his stomach so his bloodied back does not stick to the bedsheets. After a moment of thought, he shifts Khamul’s hands so they are above his head, so he is not laying on top of his own arms.

Khamul looks paler than he usually does, and his breathing is still distressingly quick and shallow. He still has not woken, and it is clear that if he continues on this way he may never wake again. His fate is in Angmar’s hands, and Angmar’s hands alone.

He can still still yelling from outside, and the smell of ash clogs his nose and burns at his throat. Their surroundings are treacherous indeed.

Prioritize. He has to secure Khamul’s safety first, otherwise any attempt at healing will be useless.

“Stay here,” Angmar orders, despite the fact Khamul is still unconscious and is not capable of hearing him or moving. Still, the verbal affirmation makes him feel slightly better. This may very well be the first of his commands Khamul actually follows, even if he has no choice in the matter.

With a huff he draws his sword from its sheath once more. The blade drips fresh blood onto the floor as he opens the door and steps out into the smoke and screams.

— — — —

The fire already took care of many of them. The others were ill prepared to fight both the flames and Angmar, and fell easily to his blade. In less than an hour, the city is quiet save for the sounds of burning. Countless lay dead in the streets, and it is both practicality and spite that keeps Angmar from even attempting to burying them.

Angmar sighs as he returns, kicking the door closed behind him with a foot. His arms are currently otherwise occupied carrying the supplies he managed to gather before the fire claimed them, though he promptly dumps them upon the table. It is an assortment of anything he thought may be useful. Linens, or any relatively clean looking cloth for bandages. Water, where he was able to find it. Several nameless jars of salves that could just as easily be for styling hair as they could be for tending to wounds.

Angmar is no healer. None of the Nine are, as far as he is aware. No, Angmar is far more familiar with causing injuries rather than attempting to fix them. But some things lie in the realm of common sense, and Angmar is willing to wager he cannot make anything worse. If he does nothing, Khamul will die. At least if he does something, Khamul may not.

It is not as reassuring a thought as it should be.

Angmar grabs a small knife from the table and makes his way to the bedside. He lifts some of the fabric of Khamul’s formerly white tunic near the shoulder, and with careful motions saws through the sleeve. He makes quick work of the other one as well, then slowly tugs at the fabric. Without the sleeves present to keep the destroyed outfit in place, Angmar is able to slowly peel the fabric away, exposing Khamul’s back completely. Khamul’s belt still keeps the tunic in place around his hips, but now it is more of a skirt rather than a tunic.

He reaches to the side, grasping one of the waterskins he had managed to plunder and uncorking the top. He can still hardly see the state of Khamul’s back even with his clothes no longer obscuring his view thanks to all of the blood so…

Angmar upends the contents of the waterskin onto Khamul’s back.

A violent shiver passes through Khamul’s body as the blood is washed away, staining the sheets around him bright red. The water washes the sand away as well, which must be good if only because sand in wounds is surely bad. Just for good measure, Angmar grabs another waterskin and dumps that over Khamul’s back as well. He is starting to be able to see the injuries better, namely several long gashes that run from his shoulders down to nearly his opposite hip, ending just above Khamul’s belt.

…Clearly not wounds sustained in battle.

“Ang..mar?” Khamul murmurs, and his shaking arms shift slightly as he tries to push himself up. His eyes are open but look… unfocused. Squinting at him though a mess of muddy, bloodied hair.

“Stop moving,” Angmar snarls immediately. He hadn’t realized Khamul had woken up, although based on the way Khamul keeps trying to prop himself up he is clearly going to be just as irritating about this as he always is. Even while heavily injured, Khamul just cannot seem to listen to him. “I told you to stop moving,” Angmar repeats, quickly locating a spot relatively free from injury near the root of Khamul’s neck and pressing a hand against it, forcing Khamul back down into the bed.

Khamul makes some wordless, questioning noise which Angmar ignores in favor of grabbing some relatively clean-looking cloth he had managed to scrounge up with his free hand and pressing them to Khamul’s back, trying to dry off the water and wipe away any lingering blood. At the contact Khamul flinches, fingers curling into the bedsheets below him. He’s still moving, clearly unable to listen to Angmar for even one moment, but Angmar huffs and focuses on Khamul’s back again, keeping a hand pressed against the back of Khamul’s neck. He does not care what Khamul does with his hands as long as he does not do something stupid like try to stand up.

The cloth is quickly bloodied, and Angmar tosses it over his shoulder in favor of grabbing another cloth. Just as soon as he wipes blood aside does more bubble up from Khamul’s wounds, but it is sluggish and slow. Not freely bleeding like a fresh injury would. That may be good, if the wounds are trying to clot and scab over. It may be bad, if he does not have enough blood left to bleed.

Khamul being awake now may hint towards a better outcome, though Angmar would appreciate it if he would stop fidgeting as much. Even if he is no longer trying to sit upright, he is still wiggling his arms where they lay above his head, and making a good amount of noise jangling the chains of his shackles against each other.

It is said noise that actually draws Angmar’s attention away from the mess of Khamul’s back to his hands. It is only a glance, but when he sees red amongst the silver metal he doubles back and looks again, just in time to see Khamul drag his nails across his own skin, tearing deep into the flesh of his forearm and giving himself an entirely new injury.

“What are you doing?” Angmar barks, catching Khamul’s hand by the wrist and jerking it to the side, out of reach of his own nails. Or tries to, anyway. The chain still binding Khamul’s wrists together goes taut relatively quickly, and he just ends up dragging Khamul’s other hand along with. “Stop!”

“Gt… off,” Khamul grunts softly, barely intelligible, and Angmar can feel him straining against his grip, trying to free his wrist. Angmar huffs and catches Khamul’s other wrist with his free hand, and easily pins both of them over Khamul’s head.

“I will not release you if you cannot refrain from injuring yourself further,” Angmar snaps. This situation is less than ideal for the both of them. It is not as if he wants to have to tend to Khamul’s injuries. It is not as if he wanted to have to rescue him in the first place. He does not like Khamul, he has never liked Khamul. The feeling is clearly mutual if Khamul cannot bear to stand his touch when Angmar is doing his damndest to try to help him! What business of his is it if Khamul wants to tear himself open again? If Khamul wants to die, perhaps he should just let him!

A strange, nameless feeling curls in his gut and catches in his throat.

Angmar does not release Khamul’s hands.

“Get… off,” Khamul repeats insistently, managing to find his voice slightly. It is hoarse and raspy and broken in a way that it hardly sounds like Khamul at all. Weak, just like his attempts to free his hands from Angmar’s grasp. “Get it off.”

“It?” Angmar repeats cluelessly. Khamul gives another pull, the noise of the chain rattling draws Angmar’s attention back to Khamul’s shackles. He shifts his grip slightly higher, revealing the cuff and the bloodied skin around it.

Multiple angry, red, bleeding lines run along Khamul’s forearm. But they are not random self-inflicted strikes as Angmar initially thought. No. Each scratch starts either at the edge of the cuff or even slightly underneath it, and trails off as they get further from the shackle. The bloody scratches are deepest nearest to the cuff, and there are a few even on the lower palm above the cuff rather than on the forearm below it.

He is not trying to injure himself. Like an animal caught in a trap, Khamul is trying to tear himself free.

Angmar scowls. He does not know why Khamul is so insistent his chains be removed immediately, but clearly he is going to fuss about it until they are off. Perhaps if Angmar knew who had put them on Khamul in the first place, he would be able to locate a key. But even if Khamul were in such a place to tell him such a thing, even if Angmar felt inclined to pick his way through the corpses outside, even if Khamul’s warden had not died to the flames, Angmar does not think he can leave Khamul alone. There is a good chance even if Angmar manages to locate the key, he would return to find Khamul missing his hands completely just in an attempt to get the cuffs off. He is still whispering and straining against Angmar’s grip, after all. Leaving him unsupervised would be bad.

How annoying.

Angmar shifts his grip, pressing both of Khamul’s hands against the bed and pinning them both in place with one hand. With his newly freed hand, he grasps the thin, metal chain that connects the two shackles together. Ignoring the tackiness of the chain-which apparently has blood on it-Angmar squeezes his fist together around the chain. This is the third time today he is using magic, and it is starting to exhaust him. He’ll have to do this quickly. He hisses a short enchantment, a song of weakness, of breaking, of destruction, and almost instantly the chain shatters in his grip. Cracks and rust spread across the individual links back to the shackles themselves like a disease, and Angmar makes easy work of them as well, crushing them to pieces under his hand.

It is only when the former shackles lay in fragments upon the bed that Angmar slowly releases Khamul’s wrists. Khamul has fallen silent again, letting his forehead slump forward against the bed again, face once more completely obscured by his own hair. If it wasn’t for the fact Angmar could see his breath occasionally hitch from pain, he would suspect Khamul had fallen back into unconsciousness.

At least now Khamul was finally still. Not before giving Angmar more injuries to tend to, but at least Khamul was no longer actively fighting against his efforts to heal him.

With a sigh, Angmar turns his attention to the more concerning injuries on Khamul’s back. During their brief struggle, more blood had time to well up from the slashes across Khamul’s back, but not too much. Not enough to justify pouring a third waterskin over Khamul’s back, though Angmar is half tempted to just because Khamul has frustrated him. He refrains though, instead just dabbing the blood away with what was once a shirt.

With Khamul’s back as clear of blood and sand as it is ever going to be, Angmar wipes the blood off his own hands with the shirt before tossing it over his shoulder and onto the floor as well. He grabs a sheet he had stolen from a drying line and begins to tear it into long, thin strips with his hands and placing the strips back on the table beside him. It takes him a few minutes, but by the end of that time the blanket has been demolished into something more useful and Khamul still has not moved.

“Sit up,” Angmar grunts, and for once Khamul listens to him, slowly moving his hands and trying to push himself upright. He doesn’t get very far before Angmar reaches out and grasps him by the arm, pulling him the rest of the way upright so he is sitting on the bed, back facing Angmar and feet hanging off the other side.

Angmar grabs one of the makeshift bandages he has created and presses it against Khamul’s back. It’s quickly stained red in some areas, but Angmar ignores it, wrapping the long bandage around Khamul’s entire torso. He manages to encircle Khamul’s chest with the bandage three times before he has to tie the bandage off, at which point he picks up another bandage and repeats the process. He’s careful not to wrap the bandages so tightly that Khamul cannot breathe, nor too loosely that they just fall off. The blood is actually helping him slightly with that, acting like glue and keeping the bandages in place.

He works in silence. Khamul is silent. The only noise is the rustling of fabric, or the creak of the floorboards when Angmar shifts his weight towards the table to collect another bandage.

It is odd to see Khamul in front of him and not hear his scathing tongue throwing out taunts. He is more subdued than Angmar has ever seen him before. There are no verbal jabs sent in his direction. He does not even speak, in favor of hanging his head low as Angmar works. Not that Angmar is complaining but he can still admit that it is bizarre.

When he has managed to cover all of Khamul’s injuries with one layer of fabric, he returns to the top and begins the process again, and then again a third time until the blood stops staining through. That is really all Angmar can ask for, and where his common sense regarding healing stops. With the injuries sufficiently covered, Khamul shouldn’t be at risk for bleeding out anymore. Not from his back, at least.

Which leaves the self-inflicted wounds.

Angmar sighs loudly, but grabs the bandages, some more cloth, and one of the waterskins from the table and crosses around to the other side of the bed so he is standing in front of Khamul rather than facing his back. Khamul’s head is still bowed forward, the mess of his hair thoroughly obscuring his face from view.

That’s fine. He doesn’t need to see Khamul staring at him while he works anymore than he needs to hear Khamul speak. This is tedious enough for him already.

He pours some water over Khamul’s arm, rinsing the blood away. He pats it dry with the cloth, revealing the numerous harsh, thin cuts. Now that the restraints are gone, Angmar can clearly see where they used to be simply based on the absence of injuries.

He starts at Khamul’s elbow, wrapping the bandages around his entire arm then beginning to spiral the bandage down slowly. Bloodied, raw skin is slowly covered by clean, white bandages, and when Angmar reaches Khamul’s wrist he goes a little further to reach the raw skin of Khamul’s lower palm. At least these cuts are superficial, only requiring one layer of wrapping to cover them without blood staining through. The other arm is the fortunately the same, requiring only minimal effort to wrap it in white.

That should be the end of Khamul’s injuries, as far as Angmar is aware. He hadn’t seen anything else significant that required immediate attention. There was nothing he could do for the bruises and abrasions on Khamul’s face, nor for the patches of raw skin over his knuckles.

Angmar huffs, exhaling sharply from his mouth. Khamul’s clothes are unsalvageable at this point, but he had anticipated that. He grabs the final two items from the table of supplies-a plain, beige shirt and a pair of darker, brown pants-and tosses them at Khamul. Khamul doesn’t even bother trying to catch them, and both items hit him squarely on the shoulder before falling down at his side. Luckily, being clothes, they cannot actually hurt him no matter how hard Angmar flings them at him.

“There,” Angmar grunts, stepping away from Khamul and towards the door. “Something clean. I doubt you want to wear scraps on our journey back.”

Khamul does not respond, though the mess of hair turns slightly, presumably as he looks down towards the clothing.

For some reason he cannot understand, Angmar can feel anger beginning to bubble up inside him. Some nameless feeling curls in the pit of his stomach, and Angmar grimaces.

“There’s water on the table,” Angmar adds when Khamul holds his silence. “Come outside when you finish changing.”

He turns sharply and walks towards the door. His hand snags the back of a wooden chair as he walks, and he throws open the door, dragging the chair with him outside into the sunlight. He yanks the door closed behind him then all but throws the chair against one wall of the house and sits. He has no desire to watch over Khamul while he changes. He is not a healer, he is not Khamul’s mother. If he cannot manage to put on a fresh shirt by himself, perhaps he should just die and spare Angmar any further work.

Several buildings still burn nearby, but most of them have already been reduced to smoldering rubble. Angmar can see several bodies from where he sits of Men he had slain. There is a story here. One that now only Khamul knows, and one Angmar is certain Khamul will not share.

There is that anger again. It is a familiar enough feeling that he can immediately name it, but bizarrely enough he is not angry at Khamul. He cannot even try to redirect this anger to Khamul without that other, foreign feeling reemerging like a rock in his gut, which only serves to infuriate him further.

This is Khamul. Irritating, fake, shallow Khamul. Khamul, who deliberately antagonizes Angmar so that he may laugh about it, who can only smile like a fox, who does not have a genuine bone in his body. Khamul, who wears a thousand masks, and then a thousand more beneath that so that no one has ever seen his true face.

It is hard to reconcile that image of Khamul with the body he found in the sands, with the desperation, with the silence afterwards. The only time Khamul is ever quiet is when he is lying in wait.

They feel like two separate people.

A crash from inside the house startles Angmar from his thoughts, and he barges back inside before his mind catches up with his body’s actions, drawing his sword in anticipation of a fight.

Khamul is sitting on the floor in a patch of sunlight from the window, one hand pressed against his forehead and the other on the bed, clearly supporting him. The table has been knocked over, and the few bandages Angmar didn’t use along with the empty waterskins are on the floor around him. Khamul had managed to change his clothes at least, now wearing the beige shirt and brown trousers which he is absolutely swimming in. Well, at least they are too large rather than too small.

“What happened?” Angmar growls, stepping further into the room, glancing around for a threat. He checks the other side of the bed just to be sure no one is crouched down there, out of his sight, but it is just he and Khamul in the room.

“Dizzy,” Khamul whispers from the floor, a trembling hand still pressed to his own forehead.

Angmar scowls-checks under the bed just in case, vigilance never hurts-then sheaths his sword and walks around the bed so he can see Khamul once more. His hair is still a mess, but Khamul had at least tried to push most of it away from his face. He was going to have to wait until they returned to Mordor to properly fix it, though. It was not as though they had enough water to wash it here among the sand. Nor was Angmar willing to wait in this wretched place any longer just so Khamul could look a little nicer.

“Get up,” Angmar barks, and once more finds himself somewhat surprised when Khamul actually tries to rise. Angmar only lets him struggle for a moment before he grasps Khamul by the elbow and drags him the rest of the way to his feet. When Khamul staggers slightly, Angmar scowls but keeps his grip around Khamul’s elbow tight to support him. Khamul immediately latches on with his other hand, clinging to Angmar’s arm.

Clearly, Khamul was not going to be able to make the journey back to Mordor under his own power.

Well, if Khamul cannot walk on his own, Angmar would simply have to do the work for both of them.

Not giving it any further thought than that, Angmar heaves Khamul onto his back so that he is carrying him like a traveling pack, the same position he had him in when he first carried him into the city. He hooks his arms under Khamul’s knees to keep him in place, but with Khamul able to actually hold on this time, Angmar does not have to lean forward as much to keep him from falling off.

Clearly still exhausted, Khamul does not even make a noise of surprise when Angmar maneuvers him onto his back. He simply collapses against him, arms hanging over Angmar’s shoulders and letting his head rest there as well.

Angmar adjusts his grip slightly, gives the room a spare glance to ensure he is not leaving anything important behind, then sets out into the sun. Khamul gives a small shiver as they pass into the light and shifts on his back, but does not try to get down at least. Ignoring his passenger, Angmar makes his way down the street, towards the city gates. They pass corpses both burned and stabbed, houses both still on fire and smoldering rubble. He can feel Khamul shift again, drawing his arms back so instead of hanging over Angmar’s shoulders, he can wind his fingers into the fabric of Angmar’s shirt and hold on.

“…Thank you,” Khamul murmurs softly. Angmar can feel a growing dampness on his shoulder that he vigilantly ignores. Acknowledging Khamul’s tears would mean prying into why he is crying, and Angmar is more than happy to keep as few words as possible exchanged between them.

Angmar only grunts in response. This entire encounter changes nothing. He still does not like Khamul. Khamul still probably hates him. When they return to Mordor, they will return to their usual, mutual antagonism.

But they will be returning to Mordor together.

“Master,” Angmar calls silently through his ring, “I have found Khamul. We are on our way home.”

[wawamouse]

Ok, well I was bored and decided to take the mbti test for Miguel and Chico as a writing/characterisation exercise while I procrastinate on my fic and then Tumblr went ahead and 404ed so hard on my draft post that it straight up nuked all the shit I wrote.

SO NOW YOU KNOW I'M GOING TO DOUBLE DOWN AND BREAK DOWN THEIR PERSONALITY TYPES.

Just for reference, my MBTI personality type is INTP-T, so I am pretty confident that there is a minimal amount of “me” reflecting through in these results. Either way, the test results still merely reflect my own interpretations of Miguel and Chico’s character. I would be interested to see if someone else took the test for them and got differing results, but I'm sure this kind of personality test stuff is only the product of tonight's particular brain rot... probably not what most people want to spend their time figuring out.

Anyway, Miguel first! I feel like his test was harder for me to do because I wanted to consider how he might’ve been outside of Oz as well (considering that he is mostly in stress mode in Oz). Still, I feel like his result is pretty spot on with the way that I interpret him, especially with his dominant and inferior functions.

Note 1: I used 16Personalities to take the MBTI tests, but basically all the type profile that I quote below is from Personality Junkie Note 2: For the breakdowns, there will be a lot of acronyms. The way to read it is: in MBTI, there are 8 functions: Introverted/Extroverted Feeling (Fi/Fe), Thinking (Ti/Te), Intuition (Ni/Ne), and Sensing (Si/Se).

Miguel

Strengths: Strong practical skills, strong sense of duty, very loyal, sensitive, warm, good at connecting with others Weaknesses: Worried about their social status, inflexible, reluctant to innovate or improvise, vulnerable to criticism, often too needy, too selfless Stress triggers: being asked to compromise a value, being misunderstood or belittled by others, having too much conflict and not enough cooperation

Function Stack

Dominant: Extraverted Feeling (Fe)

Auxiliary: Introverted Sensing (Si)

Tertiary: Extraverted Intuition (Ne)

Inferior: Introverted Thinking (Ti)

Profile

ESFJs are warm, engaging, caring, loyal, dutiful, and hardworking. They are admired for their work ethic, perseverance, devotion, and steadfastness. They strive to practice what they preach, holding fast to their commitments and convictions. As predominant Judgers, they take their work, family, and social roles rather seriously.

While appearing outwardly confident and assertive, because their inner Judging function, Introverted Thinking (Ti), is inferior, ESFJs may feel they have relatively little inner control. By way of their Fe, ESFJs can befriend, persuade, and direct others. In so doing, ESFJs can reap the benefit of social support, as well as a sense of control and influence in the world of people. ESFJs’ auxiliary function, Introverted Sensing (Si), prompts them to keep one eye on the past and to preserve existing methods, traditions, and conventions.

ESFJs are Extraverted Judging types, quick to express their feelings, opinions, and grievances. This can be both a strength and a weakness. On the one hand, it contributes to ESFJs’ quick responsiveness and capacity for leadership. On the other, it can dispose them to judging prematurely or too severely. Fe imbues ESFJs with a desire to control or otherwise influence others. In the company of close confidants, however, they are more apt to share their negative emotions and grievances. And because their words are often bathed in emotion, ESFJs can seem intense or dramatic in their expressions. The dominant position of their Fe also makes ESFJs a proactive and highly intentional type. ESFJs tend to take themselves, their lives, and their endeavors quite seriously. They are efficient and task-oriented, quickly moving from one thing to the next.

ESFJs use Introverted Sensing (Si) as their auxiliary function. Si contributes to ESFJs’ propensity to function as conservators of the past. The more often ESFJs do something in a particular way the harder it is for them to break out of that pattern. The same can be said for their beliefs and worldview.

Since Ne is in the lower half of ESFJs’ function stack, they often have a love-hate relationship with it. On the one hand, they may fancy themselves clever, witty, creative, or savvy. The “hate” part of ESFJs’ relationship with their Ne can involve the way it injects uncertainty into their beliefs and worldview. ESFJs seek a firm and unambiguous worldview to base their lives on. And because abstract analysis is not their strong suit, wrestling with ideas that contradict their Si worldview can be unsettling.

Because Ti (introverted thinking) is inferior in their function stack, ESFJs don’t experience confidence in wielding Ti logic, finding it slippery, elusive, and ephemeral. Despite its elusiveness, ESFJs remain forever captivated by and in pursuit of their Ti. They intuitively understand that Ti is somehow important in their quest for personal wholeness. Therefore, ESFJs can be seen as striving for a greater sense of inner control and logical competence (Ti), which may lead them to view themselves as highly logical, independent, and self-sufficient. They may extol the virtues of independent thought or laud the value of cognitively managing ones owns thoughts and feelings. They may also fancy themselves as highly self-aware or “self-taught.” Some ESFJs may go so far as to consider themselves Introverts because of their desire for inner control or obsession with being logical. But just as other personality types misinterpret or overestimate the skills and know-how of their inferior function, so it is with ESFJs.

Chico

Strengths: Receptive, reliable, passionate, altruistic, charismatic, Weaknesses: Unrealistic, overly idealistic, condescending, intense, overly empathetic Stress triggers: people not open to change, routine, disorganization, conflict, confrontation, criticism, competitive situations and sudden change of plans.

Function Stack

Dominant: Extraverted Feeling (Fe)

Auxiliary: Introverted Intuition (Ni)

Tertiary: Extraverted Sensing (Se)

Inferior: Introverted Thinking (Ti)

Profile

The ENFJ is warm, engaging, charismatic, persuasive, and talkative. ENFJs can quickly read and establish rapport with others. Because of their love for people and formidable social intelligence, ENFJs develop extensive networks of friends, acquaintances, and social connections; they are networkers par excellence. ENFJs excel when it comes to reading people, quickly assessing and mirroring their emotions, expressions, and body language.

While “working a crowd” or charming an audience is undoubtedly invigorating for ENFJs, their desire to engage with people goes beyond mere superficials. Their auxiliary function, Introverted Intuition (Ni), adds a degree of depth that is less apparent in their ESFJ (Miguel!) counterparts. ENFJs see it as their job to help others live more authentically, ethically, and healthily. Although ENFJs certainly want to help and support others, their reasons for doing so are not always entirely altruistic. After all, as Fe types, their own sense of self is inextricably interwoven with that of others. So while ENFJs genuinely want those they help to succeed, if those individuals end up failing, the ENFJ may come down hard on them.

[The dominant Fe is similar to that of ESFJ’s, so I won’t repeat a lot of what is the same.]

While ENFJs are subtle and smooth in the public sphere, those who work with or have a closer relationship them will eventually see their more controlling or judgmental side. While Fe involves a penchant for maintaining interpersonal harmony and good feeling, this can be trumped by its commensurate desire for outer control and assertiveness. ENFJs are in many ways wired to express their feeling judgments as soon as they come about. This is obviously of great importance for their intimates to understand, recognizing that what comes out of the ENFJ’s mouth is often their first reaction, one they may later come to reverse upon further reflection (Ni).

Fe is more influenced by cultural norms and expectations than Fi is. ENFJs typically display ample warmth, friendliness, and congeniality in their interactions. While Fi types may disparage ENFJs as emotionally superficial or disingenuous, most ENFJs have good intentions of improving morale or finding consensus. Finally, the dominant position of their Fe, combined with their auxiliary Ni, makes ENFJs among the most consistently goal-oriented of all types. ENFJs tend to take themselves, their lives, and their endeavors quite seriously.

ENFJs Judge before they Perceive. In many cases, it is only after making an upfront judgment by way of their Fe that they open themselves to alternative perspectives presented by their auxiliary function, Introverted Intuition (Ni). As Fe dominants, ENFJs are first and foremost concerned with shaping what is happening in the immediate social environment (Fe). They want to ensure that good feelings are maintained or to accomplish whatever social objective they have in mind (e.g., teaching, advising, motivating, etc.). For ENFJs, Ni concerns take a backseat to Fe. ENFJs are more likely to take an “ends justifies the means” approach. In order to accomplish their J agenda, ENFJs may be willing to say or withhold things that would not sit right with their INFJ counterparts. They may also be more willing to feign happiness. ENFJs might reason, even if unwittingly, that if good feelings can be cultivated out there (Fe), then a sense of inner happiness will likely emerge in due time.

Extraverted Sensing (Se) serves as ENFJs’ tertiary function. While Si (Miguel!) involves an intensive connection to the remembered past, Se is more extensive and present-oriented. It amasses concrete details and sensory information from the environment by way of the five senses (i.e., sight, smell, touch, sound, and taste). Unlike Si, Se is not content with the routine and familiar. Rather, it seeks sensory and material novelty. Se types love novel sensations and appearances, physical thrills, and material comforts. They are more liberal than Si types in their approach to and use of the material world. Se can also be linked with a concern for beauty and aesthetics (especially in Feeling types). ENFJs often have refined tastes when it comes to their material surroundings, their physical appearance, as well as their palate.

[The inferior Ti is similar to that of ESFJ’s so I won’t repeat what is the same]

However elusive their Ti, ENFJs are still captivated by it (as all types are with their inferior). In many ways, Ti represents a source of wholeness and self-actualization for ENFJs. Since Ti and Fe comprise a functional whole, they intuitively realize the importance of integrating these two functions for them to feel whole and complete. Consequently, ENFJs can be seen as striving for a greater sense of inner control and logical competence (Ti), which is why they may exhibit some of the same interests or self-conceptions as INTPs. Since ENFJs are ultimately unsure of the soundness of their own logic (Ti), they may unwittingly try to convince themselves through the act of convincing others. The more people they can convince that an idea is sound (Fe), the more confident they hope to feel about its veracity (Ti).

ESFJ & ENFJ Differences, Final Thoughts

Reminder: Miguel = ESFJ, Chico = ENFJ

Key differences

ESFJs Thrive on Stability; They like getting into a steady routine and immersing themselves in a community. They are usually the types who find a “home” and enjoy staying there and coming back to it repeatedly. They enjoy creating a comfortable base where they can re-charge. Living a transient life is usually stressful for an ESFJ personality type.

ENFJs Thrive on Change. While they enjoy having a structure and plan for their lives, a repetitive routine feels lacking in inspiration for them. ENFJs want a clear plan, structure, and direction. But they can quickly tire of staying in one place.

ESFJs Look for Certainties. ENFJs Look for Unknowns and are apt to notice what isn’t trustworthy or provable

ESFJs Enjoy Reminiscing and Recalling. ENFJs Enjoy Envisioning the Future.

ESFJs tend to speak using literal language, describing things as they experienced them in detail. They also tend to speak in a linear way, from beginning to end. ENFJs, in contrast, tend to use a lot of metaphor and analogy when they speak.

When stressed or hurried, ESFJs can start to catastrophize or develop unrealistic expectations or possibilities; ENFJs can become more focused on experience and become overly-impulsive and focused on action at the expense of analyzing implications

My Final Thoughts (not quoting anything now)

I think in terms of how I view/characterize/write the characters, the personality type results really match. I think the differences in the way that their dominant extraverted feeling and inferior introverted thinking function comes out to play is especially accurate to how I see both characters. Chico being the “Protagonist” personality type is funny to me because I feel like we’ve joked before on here that he thinks he’s the protagonist even though he’s a total side character. I do think that Chico exhibits leadership qualities and he is probably like more of a glue that holds El Norte together as the 2iC throughout the leadership changes. I’ve always read Chico as trying to lead not from the top but from near the top. It’s not that he couldn’t lead but that he thinks his purpose to to maintain the structure of the community, effectively allowing him to help run things in a sideways sort of way. The key to him is that he is helping run things—that his support is critical.

I also think Miguel’s combo of traits show a lot in the way he cycles up and down through canon. Inflexibility is definitely one of his weaknesses, as well as concrete thinking. Overall, I feel like there were definitely places throughout both profiles where I was like “lol, yeah, that’s definitely them during XYZ in the show”.

In terms of compatibility, I think their types make sense. When they get along, they can really get along because they have a lot of commonalities in terms of how they interact with other people and also how they approach their goals. They're both sociable and they both value their relationships. If they're playing nice, then at worst, they have nonstop banter. Out of their strengths, Miguel's type would bring warmth and connection that Chico would appreciate. Chico's type has the strength in being receptive that would complement Miguel's weaknesses, and reliability would be appreciated by Miguel's type as well.

But at the same time, their sensing and intuition are flipped, so they could easily be at each other’s throats and squabble about everything, as sensing/intuition goes back to how they view the world and (concrete vs abstract, big picture vs details) and plays into their respective weaknesses of inflexibility/worried about social status (Miguel) and unrealistic/overly idealistic (Chico). Their types could easily get frustrated with each other, find each other annoying and dismissive, etc, and never see eye-to-eye. I also think their respective weaknesses and strengths could feed into a toxic cycle, too.