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justporo · 11 months

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A Night of Song and Laughter (Bonus chapter)

I've been thinking of writing this and now I finally did it - it was also kinda requested over on AO3. Was nice to come back to this story for a bit - writing this silly little thing just came right back to me.

In true original fashion this posted at almost 2am and not proofread so enjoy!

CHAPTER LIST

Pairing: Astarion / Fem!Tav (You) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Descriptions of violence Song: I Can't Decide - Scissor Sisters

Exactly one week later the two of you had made their way to “Maeve’s” again although Astarion had insisted he’d hated your night out at the tavern (“Although not how the night ended, my dear, that was very much to my liking.”). But you had made a promise and despite his show of indifference you were sure you’d seen his eyes sparkle a little when you had mentioned that Lira and Daegin would for sure be very displeased if only showed up for a round of drinks – or four, five, six (judging by your track record).

At the entrance you’d been greeted by Don again who had embraced you tightly – happy to see you made out in one piece from being on the run from the city guards and weren’t stuck behind bars. He had even heavily hit Astarion on the back, remembering how the rogue had elegantly taken out two of the guards at once. The vampire had simply winced and submitted to the pats even though his face conveyed he would have rather been captured by the guards that night.

Once past that first hurdle you entered the tavern which had already been busy despite the early time of the night. Remembering what had happened on the dance floor last time you had blushed a deep red and when you had thrown Astarion a glance he had grinned broadly, winked at you and then had let his hand run down softly your arm. The one you knew you would see soft glowing markings if you’d taken a look right then and there.

Making your way to the gallery the vampire’s mood had immediately soured when he had seen a familiar dwarf at the bottom of the stairs. The rogue’s nose had scrunched up and stayed like that while you approached Kirin who had jumped up and down in joy seeing you. He’d slapped both his hands on his thighs and had grinned, almost looking as if he’d been calling a dog over. But you hadn’t minded that at all.

“Well, if it ain’t me favourite lass! Com’ere ye silly elf, let me give ye a hug!”, the dwarven bouncer had screamed at you and dragged you down in a crushing hug that had almost made you drop to your knees. When the dwarf had let go his gaze had wandered to your soulmate, the dwarf’s nose scrunching in the same way Astarion’s had: “Ah yes, and me least favourite lass… Ye owe me big time, boy!“

A muscle had ticked in Astarion’s jaw. “Why would I owe something to you, dwarf?“, he had hissed at Kirin.

“Because”, Kirin had immediately growled back “I saved ye skinny arse!”

Astarion had looked ready to stick a knife in the dwarf’s throat then and you had simply dragged him on and up the stairs to meet your friends.

There you had been greeted by Lira and Daegin who’d almost immediately started screaming at you to “tell us what in the Nine Hells happened after we went home?”. Astarion and you had thrown each other a glance and had then started to tell them – of course intentionally letting out the more ‘private’ parts of the story.

When you had been telling them about how Miyena had threatened you (of course not mentioning the whole vampire and stake thing), Lira had become frighteningly silent – up until she had taken a swig of her drink and had put her mug down so hard it had cracked.

“If this bitch ever threatens you again, I will stick a goddamn knife into her heart”, Lira had silently vowed while staring off into the void. The whole table had stared at her in terror as this gentle soul had spoken probably the vilest thing she had ever uttered.

Even the vampire looked stricken – especially since she had barely even used a swear word the last time you guys had spoken. But it had been quite obvious that actually threatening your friends where she drew the definite line.

“You’ll need to get in line for that, darling”, Astarion had replied to her after some time, breaking your group out of the stupor before he had taken a sip of his wine. “I already vowed my dagger to pierce her blackened heart should she ever cross our paths again.”

“Aye, I’ll drink to that”, Daegin had mumbled to that and emptied his beer.

After that the mood had lightened considerably. You had spent the evening talking, drinking, joking. And you surely didn’t leave the tavern any earlier than the last time. Although this time there were now elven rituals, no cityguards chasing you and you did actually leave through the front door this time.

In front of the tavern the four of you exchanged hugs – or rather you and Lira forced the men into them and you parted ways, agreeing to make this a regular date. Then Astarion and you had went on your ways.

There was still time in the night so you had started wandering around the streets of the Lower City.

Although the Lower City had quite the reputation – especially at night – you felt light-hearted and -footed as you wandered down dark alleyways. Maybe the amount of alcohol you had once again consumed had something to do with it but maybe it was just the joy of a wonderful night out with your soulmate. You had your arm in the crook of his arm and kept stealing adoring glances at Astarion who had the good graces to just let you drunkenly and dreamily stare at him without commenting on it. He, however, stole glances at you too – loving and warm, with an joyful sparkle in his eyes. The vampire was just a lot more subtle about it.

Not that you’d have noticed either way once you had started telling Astarion stupid puns and broke down laughing after almost every single one. They were quite objectively terrible but your drunk brain could not imagine anything funnier. Astarion’s face had become a tortured grimace.

“What do you – “, you already started laughing. “What do you call a wizard that asks you questions?”, you asked Astarion and stared at him while you almost couldn’t contain yourself.

Astarion sighed heavily: “I don’t know, love, maybe you should ask Gale and not me.”

You snickered but kept silent. Astarion pinched his nose with his free hand and gave another sigh: “What do you call a wizard that asks questions, my drunk little jester?”

“A quizard!”, you exclaimed as soon as Astarion had finished speaking and burst out laughing.

The vampire’s mouth pressed into a thin line – he quite obviously was asking himself why he had objected himself to this hell of a relationship.

But your laughter was contagious and so was your whole being when you threw your head back, your eyes closed and hung desperately on his arm.

The vampire watched you laugh open and whole-heartedly: the way your nose crinkled with the small lines of the scar over it, the way the tattooed horns bending away from your eyelids had become such an accustomed sight for him, the little dagger earrings you always wore dangling and shaking, little freckles all over your skin like scattered stars on the night sky, your reddish hair that was swinging in a high ponytail tonight (fully and completely Astarion’s accomplishment), how your neck became red from all the laughing.

“You’re staring, Astarion, something on my face?”, you said as the rogue has lost his subtlety about his admiration for you and had started gazing at you with a growing smile.

When he heard you say that he blinked and then moved his face closer, staring at you with furrowed brows: “Yes actually, now that you’re mentioning it, my love…”

You raised your eyebrows at him.

“Yes, right there…”, Astarion whispered and moved in even closer.

You were genuinely confused.

“You have some vampire on your lips”, he continued and then closed the space between you both to kiss you sweetly.

But it was only of short duration as you had to pull back to laugh again: “And you say my puns are bad. That was terrible, darling.” And you lean in again to kiss him again.

But this time Astarion broke the kiss. His head swung around all of a sudden – the joyful mood immediately forgotten. The way he stared off into the darkness of the alley you were standing in, like a cat observing potential prey, sobered you up quicker than you would have liked.

“Stay here for a moment, my love”, Astarion whispered and untangled from you. His tone was tense, but you could almost hear his smirk in it.

Whatever he had noticed in the dark, it was about to be found out. The vampire slipped into the even deeper shadows of the alley until even you with your elven senses could neither hear or see something of him.

Your heart was racing although you rationally knew that Astarion would not have left your side if there had been any real danger.

You waited as silence drew out – the only sounds being your own beating heart, the rushing of your blood in your ears and the squeaking of some rats pattering about. Patiently you waited, staying as still as your alcohol level allowed.

Then you heard a scream and some crashing, bodies probably falling over each other and suddenly you could make out Astarion again. He was crouched down over – someone?

You carefully stepped closer as you could hear the vampire hiss to the person he had laying on the cobblestones, one knee viciously pressing in their back and with one hand holding their head by their short hair.

“Did that fucking tiefling send you?”, Astarion growled – he seemed positively livid.

Tiefling? You suddenly had the connection between the figure being pressed to the shoddy stones of the street and Astarion’s accusation: Eodin!

Your eyes widened and almost as suddenly as you felt the surprise you felt the anger – at least a fraction of what the vampire obviously felt. “What the fuck are you doing here?”, you hissed at him stepping in front of the human that had started whimpering.

“Miyena, yes! Miyena sent me, she made me do it!”, Eodin exclaimed as Astarion dragged his head up by his hair.

You crossed your arms over your chest. Your sympathy with your former friend – and yes, former lover (even though you dreaded thinking about it) – was pretty much non-existent. And if your other former friend Miyena sent him to follow you in a dark alley at night you were pretty sure you didn’t need to have some anyway.

You stared at this pathetic excuse of a human being until you noticed Astarion was looking at you – his gaze a wild mix of anger, worry and… amusement? His eyes darted down to Eodin’s head whose face was now once more pressed into the dirt then back to you again and a smirk had started playing over his lips. Astarion raised his eyebrows, with it asking your permission to go ahead. You were not exactly sure for what or what he wanted to do but you just shrugged at him softly.

That was enough for him to get going.

“Alright, you listen here you little twat”, Astarion hissed and dragged the man’s head up again. “Since you are so very obviously not the one in charge, you’re going to relay a little message for me, do you understand me?”, the vampire continued, lifting Eodin’s face to his while his knee still firmly pressed into the guy’s back. Astarion’s fangs were very obviously bared in threateningly.

Eodin winced, his eyes rolling like crazy but he said nothing.

Astarion rolled his eyes in annoyance and breathed out dramatically before he forcefully pushed down Eodin’s head on the ground; repeatedly. And in time with his words: “Do. You. Understand. Me?”

“Fuck you, vampire!”, Eodin pressed out and swung at Astarion with something silver glinting in his hand. Obviously, he had managed to free one of his arms.

But his moves were sluggish and he was up against a rogue that already had the upper hand. Astarion grabbed his hand and crushed it to the ground, sending a dagger flying.

And the scene suddenly changed again. The attempt to defy him had the vampire lose any of his playful demeanour. He pulled the human men up until he stumbled awkwardly up onto his knees and then his feet – only to be pressed against a wall. You took a step or two back in shock – your drunken state making you stagger a little.

“I was only going to play with you, but it seems you have to spoil the fun for the both of us”, Astarion hissed. He had his own dagger out now and pressed it against Eodin’s threat, already drawing some blood. His other hand was forcefully holding the man’s head against the stones. Eodin did not even muster a sound anymore but his eyes were full with shock.

“My love, why don’t you pick up that dagger over there, before some idiot runs into it”, the vampire then said to you and gave you a little wink that seemed entirely out of place for this situation. But you just shrugged and took the few steps over to where the discarded weapon lay.

You picked it up and turned around again and saw just the end of Astarion whispering something into Eodin’s ear. You could basically see the man lose several shades of colour even in the dark and his eyes widening even more. He desperately tried breaking free from the vampire’s grip.

But Astarion held him there, watched his fear grow until he finally let the man go who fell to his knees and the stumbled away faster than you had ever see him do in your thieving days.

“Not even a stake – what is this? Amateur hours? Tss”, Astarion said clucking his tongue and turned around to you seemingly playful. But you saw the way he still clenched his fingers around his dagger and how there still was a deep wrinkle between his brows.

He slowly started to saunter towards where you stood now aimlessly with the dagger in hand.

“Maybe your former friend wanted to get rid of him more than she wanted to get rid of us”, he continued and gave a high-pitched giggle as he came closer and put his dagger away. Then he put an arm around you, when he was in front of you.

“What did you say to him?”, you asked Astarion looking up at him, still holding the godsdamned dagger.

“Oh, nothing in particular really. Just how I would splatter all his blood and organs on the floor in excruciating detail if he ever came to cross my path again, my sweet”, Astarion replied and made big red round puppy eyes at you while carefully taking the weapon out of your hands and stowing it away.

“The usual then, I see”, you simply replied. “Hmm”, the vampire replied and looked at you lovingly – as if you had not just talked about smearing your ex’s blood all over the wall.

But worry suddenly washed over the rogue’s face as your eyes glazed over: “Are you alright, my love?”

You looked from left to right, a bit irritated by the question – you had merely felt tiredness settling in your bones. “Well, I almost fell when I leaned down to pick up this dagger because I’m still awfully drunk but other than that – not a hair out of place! Just tired.”

The vampire watched you, nodding in mocking sympathy for you and your hard lot. Then he wrapped his other arm against you and pushed you against the nearest wall: “Maybe I know a cure to get you out of that, my heart.” His lips were so close to yours and your body immediately reacted to his actions by sending heatwaves through it.

You felt awfully reminded of the last time you had found yourself pressed against a wall in a dark alley by this vampire – it had been like a week.

“Oh no no no, we can’t keep doing it in the godsdamned streets like dogs, Astarion.” You tried to push him away a little. If he wanted you he could very well have you: but in the comfort of you cozy bed at home where it was warm and you could comfortably slide into dreams while being wrapped up in your lovers arms; and not here where you seemed to have a track record of getting threatened with knives.

The vampire pouted at you a little but then a mischievous twinkle entered his eyes. With quick and swift movements he had taken you and thrown you over his shoulders and had started walking.

You squeaked and shook your legs. “This is also a thing that can’t keep happening, Astarion, you bastard”, you whisper-screamed at him and drummed your fists on his back.

“I don’t care, my love. I played the hero and defended my lady from the vicious villain, now I get to have my reward”, Astarion proclaimed and patted your butt.

“Your reward will be a major beating when I get down from here”, you hissed but you knew he was only teasing you.

“Ugh, don’t tease me with a good time, my love”, Astarion quickly shot back and gave your butt a slap.

You yelped and sulked that he so easily outwitted you when it came to playful banter. You leaned your elbows on his back and put your head on your open palm as you pouted over his insolent behaviour.

Then when you were almost home, you decided to try a different approach: “Hey, want to hear another pun?” Astarion groaned.

“What do you call the woman letting herself be carried home by the vampire?”, you asked as the vampire took the few steps to the front door of your house. Then he carefully set you down on the final step.

“Borderline suicidal?”, Astarion answered cheerfully with a huge shit-eating grin and one eyebrow raised.

“How about completely and utterly in love with you”, you replied and leaned in for a long and tender kiss. Then the vampire broke away.

“That was the first good one I heard from you, darling”, he whispered to you. “Funnily enough the vampire is also completely and utterly in love with you, you silly little jester.”

-- THE END