#the entire music industry is just vile. we all know this

[clowningaroundmars]

people shipping kendrick and drake rn in the midst of this feud......... hmmmm. don't like that!

[twopoppies]

I usually don't comment on stuff like this, because I don't make a habit of pissing on people's parades, but some of the recent things people are using as "proof" (of bbg ending, of Larry communicating with us, etc) are really wild stretches.

And, I usually wouldn't let it bother me; I understand that people (especially newer larries) are just having fun. But, as someone who's been here for a long time and who was part of the fandom when "proof" really meant concrete, vetted, and consistent evidence, I think people are unaware of how creating, spreading, and encouraging these unsubstantiated stretches and theories only support the extremely damaging stereotype that larries are unhinged and that we can (and will) make a connection out of anything, if it suits our narrative. (Which is, literally, what hets and shippers do, so yeah, forgive me if I don't want to be lumped in with that crowd.)

When we talk about Larry signaling (through clothing, warnings, selfies, the bears, etc), I think it's really, really important to remember the context in which those things happened.

They were both banging on the glass closet and seemingly seeding a potential coming out. They were at the height of their 'enemies' narrative and banned from being seen interacting, even while they were living out of each other's pockets. They were restricted by extremely abusive public identities (homophobe and serial womanizer) and contract clauses. They were making music and money for oppressive management and labels, none of which was directly contributing to or even hinting at potential personal career growth outside One Direction. They were signaling not only because it's all they had in terms of connecting with their community, but as an act of extreme rebellion and as a means of winning over even an inch of personal freedom and self-expression. (Remember, Niall wasn't even allowed to keep his natural hair color.)

And, while yes, Harry and Louis are still heavily closeted and being made to participate in (especially in Louis' case) extremely vile and abusive stunts, the context, in terms of their need to be seen (whether it be as their own people, queer people, or as a couple), has actually changed. In terms of self-expression, they're both making music that resonates with their creative identities, that they have some level of control over, and that contribute to them, personally, as individual artists. This means they actually have a personal stake in whether or not their projects do well because its a direct indicator of whether they get to continue making music that they love. Taking that into consideration, its unlikely that they want to overshadow the soul of those projects by slipping in all these little clues about their relationship into their promo. They’ve also (thanks mostly to the fans) found other ways of connecting to the queer community (which is an entirely different objective from wanting people to know about their relationship, specifically.)

To be really honest, I think they’ve actually made a collective decision to work harder to protect the privacy of their relationship, even behind the scenes, for many reasons. (Harris Reed’s recent interview, where he mentioned not really knowing Harry all that well, but alluded to leaving space for his queerness is what swayed me the most.) Being older, and having a lot more at stake (personally and professionally), makes me think they’re now (maybe in the last four or so years) very, very selective about who they share this part of their life with, one, because they each have a lot more to lose now if they’re outed, but also because their relationship is their top priority, and as Harry has said (and no doubt learned), a relationship has never benefitted from being made public (and we have to remember that even “within the confines of the industry” is still very, very “public”).

But, I digress. My point is, they've been together for twelve years, they've written hundreds upon hundreds of love songs to each other, they have their love story tattooed all over their skin. I get if you, individually, need to read into every little clue to prove to yourself they're still together, but don’t confuse that with them needing us to know it.

Again, I'm not saying this to piss on anyone's parade. I love a Larry proof to death and god knows I believe in the real ones with my whole chest (Still the One still gives me chills, Princess Park is fucking perfection, ‘waiting to wrap your legs around me' and ‘tired eyes are the death of me’ are tattooed on my heart). What I'm saying is people need to take context into consideration to keep from devaluing and trivializing actual, solid, vetted Larry proof and signaling because the only people and reputations these stretches and theories are hurting are Larries’.

Anon, if I wasn’t already married, I would marry you. THANK YOU.

[kristas-hellstash]

I think I have made my final decision in regards to HB. I won’t abandon the show entirely, BUT, I will be focusing on fan content from now on.

You know you have a bad show when the fan works are better than the actual show.

Yeah, I’ve failed to mention - it’s not just the creator who is everything wrong with the show. It’s the writing. But because she’s IN CHARGE of the writing, well, that’s why it sucks. The show would’ve been better if she wasn’t involved at all. It could have been in the hands of people who aren’t morally bankrupt. It could be in the hands of better writers who could take her initial ideas and make a better story out of it. But none of that will happen. And it’s because of her. It’s because of her the show sucks. 😭 Beautiful art cannot save bad writing.

This isn’t the only show to have this problem, either - Miraculous Ladybug and the once-good Star Vs are two other examples. Not because the creators are human scum, mind you, but because the writing was bad.

Granted, HB isn’t Velma levels of terrible, either, and I doubt Hazbin will be, but…should we REALLY watch Hazbin this Friday? I don’t think we should…and the more I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve decided to just read what paid critics have to say. I doubt it’s gonna be good. It’ll be a “hit” in terms of views but with scathing reviews, like a blockbuster movie that’s terrible. The art and animation are the only good things about it - and, well, the music will slap too because at least Vile Viv isn’t in charge of THAT.

There’s a reason views have declined for HB, and it’s for two reasons: more and more fans realize how morally bankrupt Viv is, and former fans got sick of the shitty writing. The third is a combination of both.

I’ve known the writing wasn’t solid for…more than a year now. But I kept watching with the hope that it’d get better. Then I began to feel ashamed for liking this show as it became increasingly apparent that it’s not cool to like it anymore especially as it’s become known fact that Vile Viv is a monster. As its unpopularity increases and fans stop becoming fans, I felt frustrated and ashamed. I tried separating art from artist for years with this show, but nobody else seemed to be capable of doing it, and since both art AND artist are bad in this case, well…it’s time to let go.

Then I realized that fanfic has better writing than the show, and fans have better ideas…so fanworks are my loophole. Hate the canon? There’s fanworks out there that repair everything. Even I’ve got my own ideas for how I personally would have written Unhappy Campers.

I will not credit Vile Viv for any inspiration behind the way I draw some of my characters…tbh I think Kendraws is more responsible for that anyway, given how they re-designed Cherri Bomb. The art style of Viv’s cartoons are beautiful. I wish she was a better person who listened to criticism and knew how to actually write. I wished she’d get fired from her own shows so that they could continue in better hands.

But what we need right now is her blacklisting from the animation industry entirely.

[loverofallthingssmart]

PLEASE UNLEASH your hadestown demons!!!!!

unleash my hadestown demons is right this is a BEAST thank you very much ive satisfied the brain worms by dumping all my thoughts under the cut

first off. the beauty of live theatre allows for so much nuance and beauty to demonstrated so i cant even begin to cover all the things that could make me insane its so wonderful i love live theatre everyone should watch at least one live theatre production i believe it will solve at least one problem they have

the tragedy of it all!! its a sad song but we sing it anyway, in hopes that we hope that orpheus doesn't turn. but he will. bc he loves eurydice so much so he went down to the underworld to save her.

guys. the repeated, cyclical nature of everything. its an old tale from way back when and its a sad song but they sing it anyway. the point of hadestown is the HOPE of it all wait theres an article (https://www.standard.co.uk/culture/theatre/anais-mitchell-hadestown-west-end-broadway-b1134613.html) regarding mitchell's thoughts on orpheus that make me insane im gonna paste a quote here:

"If Hadestown has a moral, she says, then it’s “you have to try, you have to have hope, not because success is a given – it’s not. Orpheus fails. We heroicise” – here she breaks off to apologise that jet lag has led to her making up words – “we heroicise Orpheus not because he succeeds but because he tries, and that endeavour alone is worthwhile. How to live, and not merely survive, is to believe things could change.” ARE U KIDDING ME OURGHH

which brings me to the topics of like. climate change and capitalism that the play discusses its so good. the fact that there's no spring or fall, only summers and winter because of persephone's absences, how "is it true" is just a song abt labor protests red carnations are a symbol of love and passion yes, but in germany theyre a symbol of the working class protest. its SO important hades has just created an industrial revolution, has built a wall, has workers work forever, "why we build the wall" is soooo incredible "hey little songbird" "chant" all the songs that take place IN hadestown itself are sooo gritty so despondent in a way its insane.

theres another article that discusses sm of it AND discusses like portrayals of persephone that i REALLY like. im gonna paste it here PLEASE read it it has so much good stuff from a classics person regarding it and OURGH too good

orpheus's "to the world we dream about" but then also "the one we live in now" like oh.okay. im NORMAL….

if u noted every single lalala in hadestown it would be 6 min long. the leitmotif oh i am so normal actually.

okay im not rlly a music person i call myself music adjacent bc my two closest friends r music ppl LMAOJDHJS but like. the first time u hear eurydice say "i do" i.e what you say to seal a marriage is after she tells orpheus she signed the papers. she does not say "i do" in the entireity of wedding song, where they talk abt their nuptials. she says "i do" in informing orpheus she cant come up with him. that she chose this life (or death i guess) of her own doing. isnt that vile….

in wedding song she goes "is he always like this" and hermes responds but then in "a gathering storm" she asks the same question to no response.. idk what's there but something is there.

hermes being the narrator thats involved in the play is SOOOO delicious for my brain, the way he switches between a character involved in orpheus and eurydice getting together, invested in their relationship to a all-knowing narrator who knows the end bc he sees this every time.

there's this sense that only orpheus and eurydice do not know they r in a repeated play. which heightens their love at first sight, the "i feel like i know u but ive just met you" OHHHHH my god.

the original nytw script having orpheus say "ur early. i missed u." directly paralleling hades and persephone but in a different context because OHHHHMYGOD and not even that but the fact that mitchell took it out bc she believed it engaged the brain when the moment should only directly engage the heart. so she had the lovers say each other's name. one last time. im soooo normal

also this is bc one time i was thinking abt hadestown and mitski's remember my name played so . just that song in the context of hadestown is SOOOO bc like. like. how eurydice couldn't rmbr herself when she became a worker but orpheus went down to save her and she remembered.

when he turns back and says.

"it's you" "it's me"

^ are you fucking kidding me. the sort of disbelief the happiness the love the incoming grief im inconsolable.

when orpheus turns back, eurydice says his name w so much joy SO MUCH JOY she is not upset at him. "what was there to complain of, except that she'd been loved?" <- quote from metamorphoses

like yes we wish orpheus doesnt turn around but at the end of the day, orpheus is still the trusting guy he was in the beginning. EURYDICE on the other hand KNOWS how cruel the world is and chooses to trust orpheus anyway. but. "it's a tragedy" and doubt creeps in. part of the tragedy lies in the fact that eurydice, "all ive ever known is to hold my own" eurydice runs after him w open arms, chooses to trust him, chooses to follow the trial, and he still turns around. BECAUSE he loves her ohhhmygod im so normal

obligatory mention to the fact that orpheus could never finish the song he was working on because it was a duet. like okay lol. im fine im normal hahahahaha are u fucking kidding me.

hades and orpheus are mirrors, there r two relationships in the musical obviously and it is clear theyre mirrors of each other even w/o the original script line but like.

hades gives orpheus the test that he himself goes through every spring. hades is the villain of the story yes but he is not evil. he gives orpheus the same trial, sees that if orpheus can judge him for losing faith in his wife through the course of their relationship, let's put his romantic nature to the test. let's see if he can feel the absence of his love and keep going. and he cant. bc orpheus has never had to learn how to fend for himself. so when u take away his support system, when u take anyone's support system, how is he, how r we supposed to succeed?

just. the song "how long" encapsulates hades and persephone's relationship SO WELL. "the girl means nothing to me." "i know. but she means EVERYTHING to him" the fact that this is the first time we persephone REFUSE a drink bc shes had enough oh were SOMBER somber the way the whole song just parallels itself and every verse GOD.

the love was there. the hope was there. its a sad song. its a love song.

every single time before they leave. every time they're on stage, eurydice is in front of orpheus. he trusts that she is before him and she never doubts that he is there. it is when their positions change, him in front and her behind that he bends. it is then that doubt comes in.

those r just the like the thoughst of the music and themes itself we can talk abt the ppl and the live play now:

so first. can we talk abt this we need to talk abt for reeve carney's last show the original orpheus his last show he didnt turn back. he and eurydice lived they passed the trial. sorry that makes me so insane bc like. imagine u play orpheus. doomed to a lifetime of looking back at ur lover and your final show, u finally get to stay. oh im very normal i just love the nuances of live theatre!!! what a send off!!!!

THEN we can talk abt how eva and solea play PERFECT eurydices, full of grit and used to the cruel nature of the world. and how lola tung i feel is a DECENT singer but shes not a eurydice shes so light and soft but idk. who am i to say.

also the soundtrack is just SO incredible so is the set design there's not a single ounce of stage space that is wasted like there are so many nuances like i cant even talk abt all that there is my FAVORITE musical for SOOO many reasons ough.

yeah i think that's it. this took me MULTIPLE hours and i feel drained abt talking abt all this. WOW i love hadestown not normal amounts. i can't die before i see this live its one of my goals i just need to see it live on broadway.

[algernoninwonderland]

-Have you watched Arcane? If so, what did you think of it, and if not, is there any particular reason why?

-Is there a popular magical girl show you dislike? If so, why?

- Mayura was originally marketed as Hawkmoth's boss. Do you think that'd would have been more interesting that what we got in canon? (Considering it's the same writing staff)

-What's you opinion on Lolirock (if you've ever heard of it)? It's a French magical girl cartoon so I think there's some overlap with Miraculous

Sorry if this a lot, I just really like hearing your opinions

Hey! I’ll try and answer all of that in order.

1. Arcane is incredible, and the proof that the folks over at Fortiche are just the best at that kind of thing in this industry. I could gush about its sense of visual storytelling, the brilliant art direction, stellar character animation and facial rigs for hours, and I have. The character writing works fantastically too. It was my favourite animated show of 2021, despite Imagine Dragons and the somewhat weak political commentary, which should tell you just how good I think it is.

2. If by “popular” you mean stuff like Sailor Moon or CCS or Precure or even Madoka despite all its frustrating flaws, nah, I rather like most mainstream Magical Girls shows, or at least there’s something to enjoy about them even when they’re not great.

Now, when it comes to the overwhelming majority of “dark and edgy” magical girl shows which tend to have more niche audiences, they tend to be poorly written and directed. See, I’m not radically opposed to the concept, you just have to pull it off competently. Sailor Moon did “dark magical girl” stuff rather well in its time.

The thing is, all the slew of dark magical girl shows that came after Madoka are varying degrees of bad-to-dogshit, with sprinkles of nonce-pandering thrown in there. Yes, this include YYWYDA which was never good no matter what people will try to tell you.

Also, the Fate spin-off about Illya is one the most repulsive things I was unfortunate to lay my eyes upon. It’s just vile. Don’t watch it. It’s not even bad in an interesting way.

3. It certainly would have been an interesting angle although I’m not convinced the writers would have pulled it off. You would have to start foreshadowing that the silly little man is not the big player he thinks he is early on, which the show simply didn’t do. Whatever happened behind the scenes, the Mayura from season 3 is framed very differently from the scary powerful villain of the season 2 finale. Now what I am quasi certain would have worked is a greater emphasis on the fact that Mayura and HM’s relationship is kind of meant to mirror LB and CN’s in a deformed way, and “Ladybug” (the episode) sort of hinted at that and did so competently.

4. I’m generally not a fan of music shows aimed at kids, because the music aspect, though the central conceit, tends to be very weak from the moment you know anything about music and have listened to any kind of “real” music ever, and with a title like this, I just avoided Lolirock entirely. The character design and colours never looked too great to me either. Should I give it another chance? I know that Étienne Guignard worked on it, and I always like his work, but also, so did That Guy.

[officialtayley]

i know nothing about kpop/have absolutely nothing against the music itself yet everything i learn about this entire industry shocks me (like how difficult and toxic it is to be an idol). I was talking to a friend who really likes kpop and she mentioned how most of those famous groups' agencies (like twice's and loona's iirc) suck but didn't go into further detail, would you mind having a conversation about this and why it is so? they seem to struggle a lot with being mistreated by their agencies

it's all about perfection. in every aspect. that then produces a very toxic industry. all the companies are bad but some are FAR WORSE than others. a lot of these idols also are not from seoul, many are from all over korea, so they have to move away from their families and all they then have are the company to rely on and trust, and they will use that. even when these idols are trainees it's not great either. they just have to be perfect and live up to this perfection that simply isn't real.

i cant talk much about twice as i'm not a fan. loona though.... it was really awful. people had always been critical of the company's management of the group, it was poor, and then suddenly, arguably their most popular member, chuu, she wasn't participating in a tour due to "scheduling conflicts" (she'd been missing from other stuff) and then we heard of a lawsuit between them. it felt like the company was trying to keep chuu out of everything because there were clearly issues, even the members kept having to state that loona is 12 (there's 12 members), and then suddenly chuu was kicked from the group, the company claimed she was abusive toward staff and not a single person believed it, even in the industry so many came to her defence because that's just not her personality with staff at all. then other members wanted out of their contracts, then we learned they had even been paid since 2017, and then a lot more happened but all members are now free from that company. basically they were all mistreated by their company, and i'd be here forever listing everything.

another example right now is the group fifty fifty. they had a hit and then we have learned their company is absolutely vile. a member literally needed surgery and the company wouldn't sign off on it until months later and wanted her to work again right away. there's even more going on and it's really awful, so if you're interested in reading then let me know and i can link some tweets. but they lost their lawsuit against their company but they're still fighting.

omega x is another story that's really sad too. i won't go into it since it could be triggering for some, but they are free from their company now too thank god.

a lot don't speak up, and many may also not see it as mistreatment too. sometimes they feel like they owe their agency as they made their dreams come true, others their agency are so awful that they can't say anything because there's no one they could even turn to. it's truly all because of this perfection these companies want and the money that will come from it. and then you have the added pressure on these idols with how fans tend to be in korea and other countries in asia. the way idols are then viewed thanks to these companies isn't human, more like they're these machines, they're these boyfriend/girlfriend figures, it's all just a lot of pressure.

it's sad really. even mental health wise i feel like a lot of idols aren't open about these things because it just doesn't align with how idols are meant to be seen and a lot of these companies don't seem to care either, usually because they contributing to it. they're basically seen as money makers before seen as human. but even the companies that seem alright have still done some shitty things.

it makes people wonder how you can be a fan when the industry is like this, it's just that these idols have their dreams, their dreams are to be singers, to perform, to be these stars they wanna be, so unless it gets extremely bad, like with loona, fifty fifty, omega x, etc, you just have to think about it as supporting the idols. most fans often hate the companies anyway and aren't shy to criticise anything.

[tumblezwei]

Why Kyoko Mogami is the GOAT

And why y’all are SLEEPING ON HER

Spoilers for Skip Beat, but honestly idk how much of the story I’m gonna get into for this since I’m flying by the seat of my pants. Still, read at your own risk.

Also this is LONG lmao

Kyoko Mogami is a 16 year old middle school drop-out that works two jobs day and night in order to pay rent for the Tokyo apartment that she lives in all by herself 6 days out of the week. Going into the first chapter, there are three things immediately clear about her. 

1. She’s cheerful, kind, and also kind of batshit insane. From the first moment we meet her, her personality is throwing itself at our faces and refusing to calm down. (apologies for the bad quality images, I work with what I have)

2. She loves Sho Fuwa, her childhood friend and rising rock-star that asked Kyoko to come with him to Tokyo after middle school graduation to support his career

3. Nothing matters to her as long as Sho is happy. Sure, she laments that her love for girly dresses, cosmetics, and fairy tale princesses will never amount to anything since all of her money is going toward paying the rent on her and Sho’s apartment, but that’s fine. As long as her precious Sho is happy, so is she. 

And, as you’d expect, things go to shit pretty quickly afterwards. During one her off days from her night job, Kyoko decides to visit Sho at his recording studio with dinner. After sneaking in past the hoards of squealing teenage girls waiting outside to catch a glimpse of him, she overhears him talking to his manager. 

“I’m the heir to a prominent Japanese inn, do you think I’ve ever cooked or cleaned all by myself?” She hears. 

“That’s awful,” the manager replies, “you make it sound as if you brought her just to be your maid.”

“She’s basically been my maid since I was a kid, or else I wouldn’t have brought her along with me. It’s not like I forced her, I asked her a question and gave her the choice. It’s only natural that she’d work her butt off to support me.” 

And he just keeps going. Once he’s made enough to live independently, he’ll send her back. How dare his parents try to set him up with a plain-looking girl like her. She doesn’t even wear make-up! 

As images of flash in Kyoko’s mind of standing in front of make-up stores with no money to buy anything, she takes Sho’s words just as well as one might expect. By unleashing the box of tucked away emotions she’s held in her chest and swearing to take revenge on Sho for using her and throwing her away like this.

. I failed to mention this at the start, but the beginning of the chapter introduces us to the most important piece of symbolism in Kyoko’s character development: Pandora’s box. 

For Kyoko’s entire life, she’s held this box inside herself. In myth, once this box was opened, all of the evil of the world is unleashed, never to be put back inside. So for Kyoko, the metaphor is quite apt. Hearing Sho’s words unlocks the box and unleashes a kind of anger that not even Kyoko knew she was capable of, a kind of determination and vengeance that has her dyeing her hair and staking outside of a talent manager’s house for days on end to whittle down his willpower and give her a chance to audition at Sho’s rival talent agency, LME. Every time she hears his name, or sees his picture, she’s filled with myopic sense of rage that no one can calm her down from. 

Her sole mission in life is to get revenge on Sho Fuwa, a sentiment that finds her at odds with LME’s top actor, Ren Tsuruga, who sees her one-sided quest for vengeance as an insult to people who truly love acting. But as if Kyoko cares, she needs to get revenge! 

I’m gonna drop the pseudo-narration for a bit because I actually need to skip over a fair bit of plot to get to what I think makes Kyoko incredibly compelling, outside of being the funniest female character in existence. We’re going to jump forward in time to Kyoko’s first acting gig. Well, not so much an gig as much as it is a competition. She’s been tasked to play the role of a dignified inn keeper that’s serving tea to the main male character. After having broken her ankle and been challenged by the real lead actress, this is her first shot to prove she has the talent to make it in the acting industry. So in order to immerse herself in the role, she utilizes her experience of being trained by Sho’s mother to take care of the inn that his family owned. It’s here that we finally understand that Kyoko giving up her life back home for Sho wasn’t just a spur of the moment decision brought about by infatuation. It was something she’d been doing for her entire life. Everything she knows how to do, every skill she’s obtained, has been because of Sho. And this is the moment that she realizes that fact too. (the first image is from after the scene is done, wherein Kyoko cannot snap herself out of her character due to the lessons she was taught as a child, despite her sitting position making her broken ankle unbearably painful). 

Even her righteous fury at being left in the dust is focused solely on Sho fucking Fuwa. Is there anything that she has than can be attributed to her own success? Does she have any skills that can’t be traced back to trying to make Sho happy? Who is Kyoko Mogami? Is she worth anything without Sho? 

And I want to make this clear right now, because I know the term “shoujo” makes people hesitate. THIS is what Skip Beat is about. Kyoko’s journey to find out who she is, and with every new role she takes on and with every experience she gains, she becomes just a little closer to finding out who she is and what she wants for herself. 

We watch as her love for acting slowly eclipses her thirst for revenge. A few arcs after this moment, she is contacted about a job to act in a music PV with none other than Sho himself. In the beginning, she accepts the job in order to prove to Sho that she’s climbing the ladder and catching up to him, but her performance suffers whenever she thinks about her revenge. And what saves her isn’t even putting aside her revenge, but prioritizing her own feelings above it. She wants to act! She wants to put on a good performance! So she needs to put aside those feelings of anger and draw from her past experiences to create a character that leaves Sho in the dust. 

I’m gonna bet y’all are wondering about the romance, though. Because this is a shoujo, and of course it has romance. But hey, guess what? That romance is equally compelling and is an integral part to Kyoko’s character too. In the first....5 or so arcs, Ren Tsuruga ‘s relationship with Kyoko crawls it’s way out of the it’s rocky beginnings, and he slowly becomes a mentor figure to Kyoko. He’s her superior in acting, and she looks to him often for support and guidance when she’s struggling to perform a role or having difficulty with her fellow actors. To Kyoko, Ren is the goal, his level of acting is what she aspires to be, so she can stand on equal footing with him. Before there’s even a whiff of romance between them, there develops a solid bond of trust and support. And once the romance starts. Hoo boy. 

To fully understand why it’s taken 12 years irl for a confession scene to finally take place, we need to bring back the metaphor of Pandora’s box. Because not everything escaped Pandora’s box when it was opened. Pandora was able to shut the box just in time for one thing to stay locked inside: hope. In the myth, this is a good thing, while negative and vile emotions run free, hope still exists within people to become better. But for Kyoko, the box isn’t a safe place, it’s a repressed place. She spent her entire life locking away the negative emotions she felt, placing a smile on her face and hoping for Sho’s happiness. And when those emotions are set lose, she locks the box back up, sealing something else inside. Her hope, her confidence in anything having to do with love. 

It’s not just that Kyoko isn’t in love anymore, she feels as if she can’t be in love anymore, that she’s entirely incapable of it. The idea of falling in love with someone else terrifies her. What if she goes back to the way she was before? An empty shell that exists for other people and not herself. The box has been sealed tightly again, and by God this time she’s not going to let anything open it. And like, I don’t want to spoil much in this, as contradictory as that sounds. Because the scene where she realizes she loves Ren? One of the best fucking scenes in any romance manga ever. 

And. God. I haven’t even touched on her mom. Kyoko’s desire for love, that became so warped under Sho and so desolate after his betrayal, can all stem back to Saena Mogami. A woman who, no matter what Kyoko did, rejected any affection that her child tried to give, and gave none in return. “Even a mother can hate her own child.” We get bits and pieces of what Kyoko’s mother was like, and the environment that a very young Kyoko was raised in before her mother left her in the care of Sho’s parents. And eventually we realize that Kyoko isn’t afraid of her love being rejected twice, but a third time. 

Like, y’all, I’m not good at these kind of essays. I keep wanting to go off on tangents, nothing is ever focused, I spend to much time just reading the manga instead of writing this fucking post. But please believe me when I tell you that Kyoko Mogamis character development is like none other. She’s truly at the top of her genre and it’s an actual crime that she’s so underrated. 

I HAVEN’T EVEN TALKED ABOUT KANAE, THE WEISS TO HER RUBY, THE TSUNDERE TO HER GENKI

Before Kyoko gets even a single arc with Ren, she gets two with Kanae. The first with Kanae as a central figure, and the second where Kanae is her support. She’s the one that gives Kyoko the eureka moment she needs to pull of her performance with Sho. They are one of the most developed and deep friendships in shoujo that I’ve ever seen AND Y’ALL NEED TO STOP SLEEPING ON IT. LOOK AT THESE TWO

And don’t take this poorly assembled post at face value, I’ve left out a lot of shit. Starting with how fucking funny this manga is. Kyoko’s special talent for her LME audition is peeling vegetables, there’s a running gag where Ren asks for her advice while she’s in a giant chicken costume, unaware that it’s her, the president of LME is an eccentric millionaire that likes to dress up in different themed costumes every day and loves throwing extravagant parties, Kyoko’s hobby is making voodoo dolls and talks to a miniature Ren doll whenever she needs encouragement or advice. 

And it’s all packaged alongside some of the most compelling character development I’ve ever seen (for both Kyoko and Ren), and some absolutely heartbreaking drama. You will never know true pain until “I don’t have a daughter.”

Read this, ya’ll. You won’t regret it. 

[kingdomtual]

Okay I just finished watching Imitation and I’m gonna give a review, idk why but I have a lot of feelings LOL gonna write this without giving away big plot points so no spoilers for you if you wanna know if you want to watch it or not (probably everyone already has but whatever I’m usually late to the show)

Things I liked about it:

- Imitation was a really interesting drama because it didn’t focus on all the fun stuff of the idol world like a lot of idol dramas do. It’s main focus ends up being more on the struggles idols have to deal with, mainly pertaining to the dating issue but instead of putting it fully on the labels for keeping their artists from dating it also focused on how sasaengs think, talk, and react about their idols dating which I thought was a nice touch because that SURE IS REAL LIFE. (unfortunately they kinda drop that plot point as it goes on, but whatever) 

- It also had plot points pertaining to mistreatment of idols by the industry and their labels, which was another thing that I liked about it. It’s a tough world, and it should be more mainstream that we know about and find ways to help idols as they’re dealing with all of this. Idk it’s just something that should be talked about more, so I’m glad they did. 

- The cast was beyond fantastic. I think that’s honestly what made the show for me. Obviously the casting director knew the draw would be having actual idols in their show, but even those who were just actors were absolutely fantastic and did a great job in each of their roles. Dojin and Hyuk were obviously my favorites, but I think they’re everyone’s favorites LOL their acting chemistry was spot on and it really felt like they had been bffs for years.

- LA RI MA. Queen, icon. Absolutely in love with her tbh. What I really loved about her is that she started off being a rival for Ryeok to Ma Ha, and I thought to myself, ‘Great. She’s gonna end up being a flat character.’ but I think she ended up having the most character growth in the entire story, besides maybe Ryeok. The way she is so confident, knows her worth, and takes care of those around her makes her such an enjoyable character to watch. Every scene she’s in she totally steals, I love her LOL 

- The last two episodes definitely make the entire show worth watching. They’re really full of heart, you get so excited, and watching them perform is really cool. I won’t give away any of the ending, but it is worth it!

Things I didn’t like:

There are a few things that made me feel ‘meh’ about the show. It kinda felt like there were a lot of plot points that dragged on a bit too much for me. This is totally a personal opinion so like obviously you might feel different! Cool.

- So, the idea that the story starts out with a love triangle didn’t appeal to me at all LOL I hate that trope, but even after that ends it starts going through the whole ‘we’re idols that have to date in secret’ and all that angst that comes with that and I have to admit there were a few mid series episodes that had me so bored because it felt like I’d already seen this to some degree before. I ended up mostly enjoying whatever subplots were going on instead of the main plot. It’s not that I didn’t like their romance, but sometimes it was just SO uncomfortable because they were uncomfortable LOL idk, romance plots are not usually my jam, but there are enough other elements to make the show enjoyable for me.

- Struggles would come up and then immediately not be an issue by the next episode. I know this is only a 12 episode drama (which I think is a shame, I think if it had been 16-20 episodes then it actually would have fared so much better but alas) but I feel like...I mean if a massive contract issue comes up and can be resolved with a quick call or an article being written, then it wasn’t an issue...and yet the fact that two idols are having angst over dating can be drawn out over the course of 4 episodes just didn’t make sense to me LOL like you’d think the dating issue would have been resolved faster than a contract issue? idk maybe it’s just me. 

- Eunjo’s plot, which is essentially a subplot until the end of the show, is far more interesting than most of what goes on LOL I almost would have liked to have that mystery be woven more thoroughly through the show instead of it being sprinkled in occasionally and then BOOM at the end it all comes together. I just think it might have had more impact.

- GROUP DYNAMICS. Bruh! This is what I really wanted okay? LOL I mean obviously the focus is mostly on Ryeok and Ma Ha but god I would have loved having more scenes with group dynamics and seeing how they actually all get along instead of making the other members all side characters until the very end when we see that they actually all care about each other. I didn’t even know Jaewoo was the leader of SHAX until the end of the show, man LOL like it would have been nice to see more from him, and all of the others, especially since Jaewoo was essentially a snitch to the their label owner for so long and ending up having so much guilt over it, but we never saw that until the last episode. 

I also think I would have preferred to have seen more of the past SHAX with Eunjo, because Ryeok was apparently his bff and yet we don’t really get to see any of that, you know? We just hear about it. This show does a lot of telling instead of showing and I do think that’s because of the episode limit, but it’s just a shame. I think the ending would have been more impactful if we’d gotten to see them altogether more at the beginning.

- If you’ve decided to watch Imitation solely for Seonghwa and San, I’d advise against it LOL they have like two lines per episode they’re in (which isn’t all of them, Sparkling is barely in the show aside from Yoojin(Yunho)) and basically they don’t get to say or do much of anything until the end LOL I get that Sparkling is a secondary character group, basically, but it would have been nice to have seen more dynamics from them, too. I think Seonghwa and San could have honestly been like Dojin and Hyuk, the comedy duo of SHAX, but they just didn’t have the time or whatever, I suppose. Like I don’t even know Seonghwa’s character’s name LOL the only reason I know San’s character’s name is Minsu is because they said it once at the second to the last episode. LOL so, just a warning. But you atinys will be fed by seeing much Yunho and Jongho, I promise.

 I also would have loved to have seen more group dynamics from Sparkling, as I said, because until the 11th episode, I think, I don’t even see them really being like, “guys! I love you all, let’s stick together until the end!” which really confused me bc my dude Hyun Oh was literally causing property damage and giving them a problematic image but apparently they were good with that LOL idk idk

- The whole sasaeng issue gets dropped right before the ending and I thought that was rather strange since up until that point sasaengs had been one of the main roadblocks for the romance plot and they had been rather vile and annoying LOL unfortunately the show often had to skip over or completely drop or quickly resolve a lot of the large ongoing issues in order to come to a conclusive end and I thought that was a bit sad but I do understand why. Can only do so much with 12 episodes.

Overall opinion:

I really enjoyed it. I know I have some critically things to say, but as a writer I just kept seeing plot holes and had to talk about them briefly LOL (or not briefly because idk how to be brief) I think that the tone of the story was good, and that what they were trying to convey through this story was also good. I think it does give an idealistic image of idols freeing themselves from the oppressive evil labels and living the way they want, because unfortunately that’s not always a viable option, however it did remind me of Hyuna and Dawn’s story in a way and that warmed my heart! Love conquers all, my dude, we love to see it.

I would honestly love to watch more idol dramas like Imitation that star idols and therefore we get some sick performances and awesome music and it tells an interesting and somewhat realistic story! I think it’s something anyone can enjoy, even if for me it did get a little long in the middle with all the romance stuff LOL the ending was totally worth it for me, I think it’ll be worth it for you!

[essercipertuttienonperse]

God all of this we kind of figured but to have it confirmed is so sickening! I’ve always had the belief that xfactor preyed upon young, poor kids from broken, not-well-connected families not only for sob story tv ratings, but because these contestants were the most desperate & willing to sign any contract & didn’t have parents or guidance to negotiate/advise them. It’s completely vile. The entire industry has no ethics. So this kind of thing can happen again and again. Poor Liam’s parents too 😞

yes i think that's definitely something they did! music labels in general in my opinion have no ethics whatsoever (but no industry where there are tens of millions of dollars circulating will ever have any morals) also syco music in specific i think was just there to keep people coming from syco entrainment's tv shows (xf, bgt) trapped there without giving them any real opportunity to find another option! I'm definitely really glad that it doesn't exist anymore and knowing

1) who louis is

2) what happened in the WMI trilogy

3) the convenient timing between louis living and syco being dismantled

i wouldn't rule out the possibility that he had something to do with it all !

[doomedandstoned]

Gangrened Conjure Dizzying Atmosphere in ‘Deadly Algorithm’

~Review by Billy Goate~

Before us lies an enigma called 'Deadly Algorithm' (2021) by Finnish band GANGRENED, whom we've introduced you to before, when they dropped that wonderfully dreary doomer 'We Are Nothing' (2014). Let me share with you the diary of my thoughts as I immersed myself in their recently released full-length.

Deadly Algorithm by Gangrened

Deadly Algorithm starts with gentle, quiet picking that echoes faintly, but already surrounds us with a strange, if inviting, airspace. A melodic line develops as "Harrbåda" gains volume, building it seems towards a crescendo -- then suddenly stopping as a drumroll interrupts. The atmosphere returns to quirks and quarks, increasingly distorted notes, spikes of reverberating rhythm. All the while, the same short impermanent melodic motif makes its statement, until it flitters away into the void.

Deadly Algorithm by Gangrened

"Triptaani" makes a strong entrance, this time with galled vocal attack and a slow, but strong, guitar lead girded by the fuzz-sparked gears of bass and drum languidly moving this machine along. A hail of shredding follows, with cymbals crashing to a throbbing beat, leading to one ardent chord laid upon another. Eventually the pace slows to a crawl, with dissonant harmonies, and a wild solo from Jon Imbernon that's almost overcome by the industrial crunch of Lassi Männikkö's dumming, Joakim Udd's vile spew of noise, Mikko Mannistö's declamatory singing.

Deadly Algorithm by Gangrened

"Hologrammi" features more familiar doom pacing with a searing riffage, a slow burn flow of bass and drums, and clean (but pissed off) crooning. It's surrounded by a mesmerizing jumble of pedal effects, noise, downtuned instrumental buzz, and crackling amps -- of which make its climactic moment of vocal delivery emphatic and powerful.

Deadly Algorithm by Gangrened

Intricate guitar trilling action introduces “Kuningatar” and it sounds almost like temelos dancing upon its appointed harmonic scale in those opening moments. By the time the rest of the crew sounds off, it turns into a frightening ensemble, indeed. I imagine this would be quite chilling to experience in a live setting. While the vocals feel swallowed up in the great reverberating wall of sound, it seems to add to the mystique of the whole dim sound environment. Psychedelic noodling returns six minutes and if you listen carefully you can hear a seething malediction pronounced sternly beneath the fray of scattered noise, synth, and pedal effects. Great doom returns to ground us to reality and the band improvises a swirl of activity that makes me think of the wandering spirits released from the Ark of the Covenant in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Deadly Algorithm by Gangrened

”Triangeli” grabs hold of us with a rumbling bass line that establishes the song’s basic theme, soon to be reinforced by guitar. Meanwhile, words are spoken with accented cymbals and hypnotic drumming. The song ends with whispered lyrics uttered over a soundgarden of riffage, soft cymbals, omnipotent bass rumble, and the cycling sounds of amp feedback. I don't know the words, and the singer refuses to share them, so that means what he's singing is left up to your fertile imagination. Or you can just enjoy the vocal aesthetic and what it contributes to this dense, dark atmosphere.

A cathartic journey, indeed, which I ventured on while I was in an especially discouraged and pissed off mood. Even though I understood not its words, I felt its sentiment and it was in some way cleansing. Available digitally, on vinyl and compact disc as an independent release (order here).

Interviewing Gangrened Guitarist Jon Imbernon

By Billy Goate

You've been a band for quite a while. I understand you are one of the founding members, too. How did Gangrened form to begin with?

Well, we were a bunch of guys living in the same area around ostrobotnia, between kokkola and new karleby, here in the center west coast of finland. so few of us had the idea to do the band so we asked the others, but none of those guys except me are still in the band. high level of mobility because studies in this area of small towns, to bigger cities of Finland.

It sounds like there are challenges keeping a band together in Ostrobotnia? I imagine it makes it ver5y challenging to get new band members to replace the old. Is there much of a music scene to speak of?

Yeah, actually I'm not from here myself. I'm Basque/Spanish and in the specific area I live, like around 110 kilometers or so, there's no real bands or scene, but if you go forward you reach Oulu in the north or Seinajoki, bigger cities with more bands and such. And yes, from the exact spot I live now, I have needed to look more than 100 kms to find new members. I'm moving in a near future to Tampere, so that should help in strengthening the line-up.

So how long has the most recent crew of Gangrened been together?

Since May of 2015, just after some dates we played with Bongzilla in Finland, the entire line-up shifted.

Gangrened basically means "gangrene" right?

It's like "corrupted," you know? Yes, the name comes from the illness.

My grandfather's big toe got infected from a cut because he didn't treat it properly. When he finally went to a doctor, they told him he would have to amputate his foot to live. He refused, stating he wanted to die with both of his feet on. So he officially died of gangrene!

Ouch! Okay...

Did you pick Gangrened for any special reason, like the corruption of society or something like that?

Yeah, that kind of reason. I wanted some grimmy name, but actually now it's getting a bit inappropriate, as we are not so typically doom sludge anymore.

How would you describe/characterize your sound now?

Well, I would say it is deep and varied. Actually, I think this record is like transitional, just because, for example, one song "Hologrammi" is an old song we included. But newer stuff goes beyond what has been previously recorded, take songs like "Triangeli" or "Kuningatar."

Deadly Algorithm by Gangrened

We reviewed 'We Are Nothing' back in 2014, and at the time we described your sound in terms of: "Slow, behemoth sized riffs. Excessive feedback. Fuzz worship." What would you say has changed or is different now, as your sound, style, and general musical approach has evolved?

Well, at some point, just as an exercise of abstraction to what we were doing, how it was turning out with songs like "Triangeli" or "Kuningatar" I decided to look into my whole musical background, and keep on adding elements from it. Also I got bored of the regular sludge-doom thing. So I considered it more interesting, and more comfortable to me, to keep an essence of slow and heavy music, and atmospheric at times, but not so defined inside the regular sludge-doom thing. The atmosphere feels very trippy, even psychedelic at times.

Let's talk about the new album. Why is it called 'Deadly Algorithm'? I think about 10 years ago, I never used the word "algorithm," but now it's a common word that most people at least understand in concept.

Well, I'm studying now in the university again, engineering in information technology, and at same time i'm a person a lot with strong progressive values, so through my studies and also digging on related topics like online privacy or the evolution and development of the new technologies I found alarming how the new technologies are going and its implications.

There are several key things that many people do not think about: smart phones have like six sensors on average to spot your location, plus no company gives services for free. If so, it's because the product is the user of the service. There's no other reason for that. So beginning with these facts, there are a lot of things going on that everyone should be aware of, and the album theme is all about that. Nowadays, data algorithms are making more and more decisions in our lives that no more take into account true needs as humans.

It seems like we have created our own virtual prison, without even realizing it.

Yes, but the thing is who runs the prison? not ourselves at all.

Getting into the songs themselves, are they all sung in Finnish?

Yes. At first some were in english but then the singer decided to sing all songs in Finnish.

Starting with the first song, can you tell us what each title means and what themes you explore?

The first song ("Harrbåda") is simply the name of a coastal area around here. The second ("Triptaani") is a medicine for headaches. The third song ("Hologrammi") is named obviously after a hologram. The fourth ("Kuningatar") means "Queen" and the last ("Triangeli") is "triangle."

Is there any conceptual, thematic, or spiritual relationship between these tracks?

It's quite a personal thing to the singer, he wrote the lyrics and I can't exactly tell you their meaning because Mikko Mannistö is a bit secretive about it. But personal things, yes. Personal matters to him.

Tell us a little bit about the recording process. Where did you record, with whom, and are there any memories that stand out from that time?

Well, we started recording the record in june 2018, with a friend of the singer, at some big rooms in a youth center house. We did most of the recordings with him until February of 2019. At that time, we asked a few people to mix, master, and finish the process. but nothing worked and there was some time wasted waiting for answers.

I decided moving forward we would go with someone who is recording records all the time and known by us, so we asked Tom Brooke, an English guy who lives close to Jyväskylä, runs a studio, and is the live sound technician for Oranssi Pazuzu. So we finished the record, a few more guitar tracks, mixing, and mastering with him.

I remember there was a long time between sessions, so new ideas were constantly coming to us to add to the songs for the next session. That’s why some guitar tracks were added for mixing just the day before starting to mix.

I'm sure you were relieved once all the recording, mixing, and mastering was finally done!

Yeah ! like this is the record and now its totally defined and wrapped up. As a guitarist, what can you tell us about the guitar writing on the new album? Anything that you are especially proud of or that you think the listener should pay special attention to?

The intro is all played by me, and then the weirdest stuff, noisy guitar here and there, and the first half of riffs of triptaani , i'm quite proud of the first two or three riffs, and I used to be proud about some riffs in the middle of "hologrammi." The noisiest and more psyched out guitars of kuningatar.

Tell us about what you, as a guitarist, used in the studio while recording 'Deadly Algorithm'

Well, so I used three guitars to record the album: one Gibson SG Standard from the late '90s, another SG Standard from 1980, and a Gibson Les Paul Classic from around 1991. The SG from the late '90s was ultra-modded -- I changed the finish, pickups, electronics, tuners, but in the end sold it and now it's owned by David from Slomatics. The 1980 I just bought for the recording, so it was all stock. Later, I changed the pickups. The Gibson Les Paul also had all replaced tuners, circuit pickups, and so. It's my main guitar and I used it in most of the songs. The SGs I just used for "Triangeli," the last song.

About effects, I use a Big Muff Fuzz mainly, but also a custom Dunwich Amps FuzzThrone for the ultra heavy parts, like at the end of "Kuningatar." Other effects I used were the Dunlop Echoplex pedal and the Strymon Capistan. I love tape echo sounds and these pedals emulate it. Also, another effect I really like and couldn't live without is the Earthquaker Devices Transmisser. I used it in three of the songs.

Amps used included an '80s Laney AOR Pro Tube and Orange OR120 from 1975 and a late '70s Matamp GT120. Every rhythm guitar track was recorded with two of them at same time, mainly the Matamp and the Laney. That probably is the main sound of the album, but I think "Hologrami" I recorded with the Orange and the Matamp. About cabs, I used two Orange cabs -- one with Eminence speakers the other with WGS speakers.

Have you had a chance to play live at all since the pandemic?

Nope, we haven't been rehearsing either.

If you had your choice to tour with any five bands and play in any five places, what would they be and why?

We are keeping it for when there's no risk of cancellations, we have some date plans and so on, but it sucks to cancel things so we are just waiting. I would play with Unsane in New York for example then some bands I have liked recently, even if some are inactive at this moment. Belzebong, Nightslug, Domkraft, Follakzoid, and the body also.

That would be a sick line-up!

What parts of the world would you like to travel to?

Well, I've never been to America or Asia. I have been to Europe, the UK, and Russia only.

Okay, yeah it would be cool to have you come over here and play for us sometime.

Yeah, would be nice

Lastly, did you all wear your heart on the opposite sides of your head for this photo to give the illusion that your heads are on backwards? Or was it digitally manipulated to make it look like your heads were on the wrong way? I love the concept!

I made that pic myself. I took two photographs, one of us in front and another in the backs. So then I took the heads of the back picture and put on our front bodies pic, with Photoshop. David lynch-ish vibes!

Follow The Band

Get Their Music

[socialjusticeartshare]

THE TRUMP CHILD ABUSE SCANDAL

IT’S BEEN TWO years since the peak of public outcry over the Trump administration’s decision to begin separating the children of unauthorized migrant families from their parents at the Mexican border, yet the massive crisis that policy spawned remains arguably the darkest chapter in Donald Trump’s very dark presidency.

MSNBC correspondent Jacob Soboroff has been back and forth from the border and Central America covering the family separation saga since it began, a story he chronicles in his new book “Separated”.

Jacob Soboroff: I think it’s a slow-motion, ongoing, decades-long American tragedy.

[Musical interlude.]

Mehdi Hasan: Welcome to Deconstructed, I’m Mehdi Hasan. 

Whatever happened to all those kids who were stolen from their parents at the border? Why did we just forget about perhaps the biggest scandal, the worst crime, of the Trump presidency?

JS: It was not thought through. There was no plan. And today, we’re still picking up the pieces in the aftermath.

MH: That’s my guest today Jacob Soboroff, NBC News and MSNBC correspondent, and author of the new book “Separated: Inside an American Tragedy.” He’s been covering this crisis, this scandal, at the border from the very beginning. 

So, on today’s show, the war on migrants and, especially, the theft of migrant children from their parents: How and why did it happen, and is it even truly over?

Do you remember this?

[Audio clip from ProPublica of children crying at the border.]

MH: That was a recording of 10 Central American children, sobbing desperately after being separated from their parents in June of 2018, here in the United States. That was a recording obtained by ProPublica and which promptly went viral and grabbed newsheadlines — it was even played in the White House briefing room. 

That recording helped make ordinary Americans aware of the abuses that were being perpetrated at their southern border, in their name, by the federal government, by the Trump administration — specifically, and shamefully, the deliberate, systematic separation of thousands of brown-skinned migrant children from their parents at the U.S.-Mexico border on the orders of President Donald J. Trump. 

And, for a few months in 2018, what was called “child separation” was the biggest story in America, if not the world:

Newscaster: Families are being torn apart. Thousands of them. 

Anderson Cooper: Kids taken hundreds, even thousands, of miles away from their parents. Young children — toddlers, even — housed in so-called “tender-age facilities.”

Jeff Sessions: If you don’t want your child to be separated, then don’t bring him across the border illegally. 

Prime Minister Theresa May: The pictures of children being held in what appeared to be cages are deeply disturbing. 

Newscaster: The Pope labelling it “immoral.”

MH: Two years later, though, we have kinda moved on, as a media industry, and as a nation. To be fair, so many other Trump scandals have sucked up so much oxygen since — whether it was the government shutdown, the Mueller inquiry, Ukraine and the whole impeachment saga, the attacks on protesters in recent weeks, and, of course, the ongoing catastrophic mishandling of the coronavirus crisis. There’s so much to keep track of — and to keep us outraged.

Still, for me personally, it stands as the biggest, most outrageous, most shocking, most inexcusable scandal of the Trump presidency so far. What’s blandly called “child separation” was, in fact, racism, kidnapping, and child abuse all rolled into one. 

In fact, Physicians for Human Rights in a report earlier this year said the Trump family separation policy constituted “torture.” Torture! On American soil. The torture of kids. Kids!

It is difficult to overstate the sheer inhumanity of it all: children were forcibly removed from the arms of their parents; babies were ripped from the breasts of their mothers. And the border agents who did all this somehow went home to their families, to their own kids, and slept fine at night. 

Meanwhile, the people in Washington who gave them those orders, who made the cruel and inhumane policies, they’re either still in government, having never faced any real consequences for their part in these crimes; or, in the case of former Trump Chief-of-Staff General John Kelly, or former Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen, they’re making money in the private sector. In fact, Kelly is on the board of a company called Caliburn International which operates shelters for migrant children! You cannot make this shit up.

These people are vile. They have no shame. Many current and former members of this administration — including the attorney general at the time, Jeff Sessions — claim to be evangelical Christians. And, yet, they have defended — excused — the torture and abuse of not just refugees but refugee children. They’re not following in the footsteps of Christ; they’re a moral disgrace.

Since the summer of 2017, the Trump administration is believed to have taken at least 5,500 kids from their parents at the border — although the real number could be even higher than that. No one knows for sure. In February of this year, the U.S. Government Accountability Office said, “it is unclear the extent to which Border Patrol has accurate records of separated [families] in its data system.” And as reporter Jacob Soboroff writes in his new book, “Separated: Inside an American Tragedy”: “There are families who were quickly put back together, and children who were, as predicted, permanently orphaned.”

As I pointed out on this show back in 2018, that was not a side effect of having a tough immigration policy; that was their tough immigration policy. That was the goal, the prime objective — of an administration filled with white nationalists and apologists for white nationalists; an administration whose immigration policies are drawn up by a man, Stephen Miller, who late last year was revealed to have sent white nationalist literature and racist stories about immigrants in internal emails. No discussion, in fact, about the immigration policies of this administration can be complete without mentioning the racism, and white nationalism, and just pure cruelty that motivates and drives those policies. 

So yes, this administration has used kids, targeted kids, migrant kids, refugee kids, the most vulnerable of the vulnerable, the most powerless of the powerless, to achieve their policy goals at the border: to crack down on immigration, to placate their far right base, and keep brown people out of the U.S. by any means necessary.

And here’s what’s so important to remember as we sit here, overwhelmed by news and scandal, in the crazy, chaotic summer of 2020 — it never really ended. Hundreds of migrant children continued to be detained in facilities across the country this year, even as the coronavirus spread inside of those facilities, and infected guards and detainees alike. 

Last month, a federal judge in LA ordered the release of those kids by the middle of this month. And guess how the Trump administration responded on Tuesday? By telling the court that if they’re forced to release the kids, they won’t release any of the parents who they might be detained with. Got that? Family separation, all over again. 

Imagine being the parents of those kids. Keep your kids with you and risk the coronavirus, or have them taken from you and sent out into the world, and who knows if you’ll ever see them again? 

What’s called “child separation” is still with us, is still a policy dream of the Trump administration, and yet a total nightmare for the thousands of refugees and asylum seeker families who arrive in this country from Central America every year, seeking protection from war, from violence, from rape. 

[Musical interlude.]

MH: My guest today is one of the tenacious, and I should add, deeply compassionate journalists who helped uncover the Trump administration’s vile policy of child torture at the border back in 2018, and who not only contextualized the story for us on our TV screens, but also humanized it. 

Jacob Soboroff, of NBC News and MSNBC, was, in fact, one of the first reporters to gain access to the notorious child detention facilities in Brownsville and McAllen, Texas. Here he is, reporting live on MSNBC from outside one of them in the summer of 2018, and not holding back:

JS: There’s a big mess going on right now, and even the Border Patrol inside this building says they’re overstaffed, they don’t have enough resources; the system is just getting stressed out because the Trump administration decided to put this into place, and the consequences really haven’t been worked out, and the biggest consequence of all is thousands of young children, in a way that has never been done before, taken from their parents. And when you hear the Trump administration saying: This has been done before, this is Democrat policy, this is not unusual — that’s B.S., frankly.

MH: Jacob’s reporting earned him the Cronkite Award for Excellence in Television Political Journalism and, with his colleagues, the 2019 Hillman Prize for Broadcast Journalism.

Now he’s written a powerful and, at times, heartbreaking new book about the entire saga, called “Separated: Inside an American Tragedy” — and he joins me now from Yuma, Arizona, just yards from the southern border with Mexico.

Jacob, thanks for joining me on Deconstructed.

JS: Thanks, Mehdi.

MH: You’ve written this new book, “Separated: Inside an American Tragedy,” having covered the 2018 crisis at the border with those kids in cages, with those children taken from their parents, almost exactly two years ago. Is this book, Jacob, about a chapter in recent American history? Or is this a book about what’s still happening right now — ongoing American tragedy?

JS: I think it’s a slow motion ongoing, decades-long American tragedy, Mehdi, and this is the first time I’ve ever done a podcast sitting 20 to 30 yards away from a 30-foot tall border wall installed by President Trump, which is exactly where I’m sitting right now, in Yuma, as I wait for him to arrive here. 

You know, the wall, and Donald Trump, have become a symbol of United States immigration policy. This is an immigration policy, however, that has, as I said, spanned decades, and Democratic, and Republican administrations. And since an official Border Patrol doctrine in 1994, called “Prevention Through Deterrence,” the goal of which was to deter migrants from coming to the United States to make them go on a dangerous and deadly journey, where they very well could die trying to get into the United States. Deterrence, pain, and suffering has been a part of U.S. immigration policy and family separations, which I had the misfortune of seeing with my own eyes, was Donald Trump’s extreme extension of that policy.

MH: Yes, the extreme extension, as you say. You’re right to say that this started on previous presidents’ watches — you know, Bill Clinton in the 90s, George Bush, Barack Obama, “the Deporter-in-Chief,” and then you have Trump escalating in this grotesque way. A total of around 4,300 children I believe, “separated from their parents at the border.” This all came to a head in May/June 2018. 

So a question that I think a lot of listeners will want to know the answer to — I know I do — do we know for sure, Jacob, if all of those children were eventually reunited with their families?

JS: We don’t. And if it weren’t for the ACLU and a federal judge in San Diego, the vast majority of them may never have been. It was a negligent, dangerous approach at putting this policy into place — sloppy. And the mechanism by which the separations were tracked, I think it actually would be even generous to call it a mechanism: It was not thought through, there was no plan. And today, we’re still picking up the pieces in the aftermath. 

And you mentioned a number in the 4,000 range. I think the most recent number according to the ACLU, and this is a constantly evolving number, is over 5,000 children, including children separated after the policy had nominally ended, when Donald Trump signed the executive order on June 20, 2018, ending a policy that days earlier, he said, didn’t even exist.

MH: Yes. First it didn’t exist, and then when they stopped it, it still carried on, as you point out, even after the judicial and executive order fallout. 

Um, let me ask you this: One thing that bothers me, and I don’t want to knock the title of your excellent book, because I know how hard it is to come up with a title, and I know that separated is the word that’s been used by everyone — even by me, on occasion, as shorthand — to describe this zero-tolerance policy at the border, and what the Trump administration did to migrant families back in 2018. 

But, for me, “separated” always feels like an understatement. It feels too clinical, an empty word. Because what happened was child theft; it was child kidnapping. It was, in many ways, child abuse by the U.S. government. And I worry sometimes that our journalistic shorthand often ends up underplaying how bad things are on the ground; they sanitize things too much. Am I being unfair?

JS: No, I think your point is well taken. And the reason I chose “separated,” as well, is that for me, it doesn’t just describe torture, frankly. And that’s the word that Physicians for Human Rights, a Nobel Peace Prize-winning organization has used subsequently to describe what these children went through: It meant the clinical definition of torture. But it also described most Americans’ mental separation from how we got to this point; inability to understand and comprehend —

MH: Yeah. Good point. 

JS: — how the government did this to children and, in some cases, babies. And that also includes me! I was covering the border even before Donald Trump became president, when Barack Obama was president and was dubbed the “Deporter-in-Chief,” as you mentioned, by immigration activists. I, you know, I was on what I thought was the front lines of immigration reporting, and frankly, I completely missed it myself until it slapped me in the face. 

And that’s what I wanted to make clear in the book, is that separated is not just the physical act of what happened to these parents and children, but it really also is a mental state of most Americans about the way that we deal with immigration in this country. So, you know, again, your point is well taken. I think that it’s much more vile what happened to these children than the simple word or simple act of being taken from their parents, but I think that the word also applies to many of us in our everyday lives.

MH: No, that’s a very fair point. And I would urge everyone to read Jacob’s book. It’s an excellent book. You tell the story of José in the book, a young boy from Northern Guatemala, that story is a central thread throughout your book. He fled with his father Juan to the United States in order to escape drug traffickers who were threatening his family. Can you tell us a little bit more about José? Why did you choose his story?

JS: Well, the truth of the matter is, and this is a bit of a spoiler, but I ultimately met his father Juan, and Juan and José are pseudonyms that they picked themselves to protect their own identity and the identity of their family that they left behind in Guatemala. But they come from the northern state of Petén. And Petén, which is actually a place I haven’t been to, and they asked me not to go to — I’ve been to Guatemala on several occasions, but I didn’t go to their home because they were worried about what might happen to their wife they left behind. 

They were threatened with violence. Juan was the owner of a small convenience store, and basically got into trouble after a vehicle that he sold was sold to someone else, and fell into the hands of what he tells me, and told the United States government in his asylum application, were narco traffickers, he suspected. And until he would turn over the rights, the documentation, which he no longer had to his car, they were going to put a threat on his life. 

And so he decided to pick up and leave with José, come to the United States, go to Arizona, where he had crossed twice successfully before to come and work earlier in his life when his son was was younger, but, for the first time, decided to pick up and leave with his boy to protect him.

MH: Yeah.

JS: And once they got to the United States, to the place where they thought represented safety and security, I’m actually sitting probably 10 miles away from that exact spot right now — and the president will visit almost that exact spot, as I speak to you today, as we record this — they were taken from each other in a way that nobody could have ever anticipated, even though it was going on by the time they left Guatemala and started their journey to the United States in May of 2018.

MH: So, it’s interesting, you mentioned in the context of Juan, that he had crossed twice before, for work, this time he came to protect his child. We have this great debate, of course, as you know better than me, about are these people refugees and asylum seekers or are they all economic migrants coming to work? In your anecdotal experience, having interviewed so many of these people, having covered their stories, what were they? Especially back in 2018, when it kind of hit the headlines in that huge way, when everyone in the country is talking about: Why have they brought children with them, etc, etc? 

How many people you were talking to, were, in your, you know, the story you just tell of Juan, that sounds like a genuine asylum application?

JS: And I have no reason to doubt them. 

MH: Yeah. 

JS: You know, and I think the vast majority of people I came into contact with were coming to the United States from Central America — from Guatemala, Honduras, or El Salvador — in order to seek asylum. 

You know, I’ve been thinking a lot about this. And when I was writing the book, I was thinking a lot about this, that nobody’s perfect. And actually, when I heard the Reverend Al Sharpton deliver the eulogy for George Floyd and use the biblical example of a rejected stone becoming the cornerstone, you know, in our conversation about race, and about police brutality, and violence, it made me think of covering immigration at the border. 

Nobody is perfect. Nobody comes here with a sparkling clean record or the perfect story that you want to hold up and make an example to change the entire country’s imagination on immigration. 

MH: Yes.

JS: He had come here before, twice, illegally. He freely admitted it to me. And he laughed and smiled when he said: They didn’t catch me previously. And I think it’s not mutually exclusive; you can be an economic migrant and also, later in your life, become a refugee from violence. And I think, too often, we boil it down to: it’s one or the other. 

MH: Yes. 

JS: But these stories often intersect. And I think we do a disservice, or the general public does a disservice, when we try to distill it to one or another because, oftentimes, that really isn’t the case. 

MH: And it’s not just Latin American families that we’re talking about, of course. You describe a Congolese mother and her daughter who was separated trying to enter the U.S.; you say “the mother was taken to an adult immigration jail in San Diego, and her daughter was sent to a shelter in Chicago.” You also say that when she was told her daughter was in Chicago, she did not know what the word meant. 

How do people like that woman and her daughter a) end up at the southern border? And how is their story different to some of the more familiar Latin American stories that you tell in your reporting?

JS: Well, I think that the southern border has become an entry point for people from around the world looking to seek refuge in the United States and seek asylum. And if it wasn’t for that Congolese woman and her daughter, who later became known as Ms. L., none of these 5,000-plus families would have been reunited, because she became the plaintiff, the original plaintiff, in the ACLU case — 

MH: Yes. 

JS: — against the government. And so what happened to her, and her story, was slightly different. She presented legally at the San Ysidro port of entry in between San Diego and Tijuana, where you can legally walk up and declare asylum as part of an internationally recognized legal process. And the United States government told her they didn’t believe her, took her away from her daughter, and not until a DNA test confirmed it, were they placed back together. But that wasn’t soon enough to stop the thousands of separations, you know, from happening. 

And that’s another example, Mehdi, of it’s never a perfect story. You know, she thought she was doing it the right way, but the United States government challenged her on that, and it set off, you know, this whole chain of events. 

MH: I think we’ve learned over the last four years that, for this administration, there is no right way of claiming asylum or coming into the country.

JS: Sure. That’s right. That’s right.

MH: They just don’t want people coming into the country.

You describe in the book the moment in June 2018, when then-Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen infamously tweeted, “We do not have a policy of separating families at the border. Period.” 

You say, in the book: “My eyes widened when I saw it. You’ve got to be kidding, I thought. Come on.” 

Where were you at that moment? And why did that tweet from her so stun you?

JS: Because earlier that week, I was inside the McAllen Border Patrol Processing Center — they call it Ursula in the Border Patrol, and that’s in McAllen, South Texas, where they let us in. 

Katie Waldman, who later became Katie Miller, the wife of Stephen Miller, and now the Vice President’s communications director, was, at the time, a spokesperson for Kirstjen Nielsen. She invited me and another group of journalists into that center to see with our own eyes what family separations look like, because I think they believed that with outrage from the general public based on media attention, Congress would do what the Trump administration wanted, which was pass more restrictive order regulations. Of course, that backfired. 

And the reason that I was was so flabbergasted by what Kirstjen Nielsen tweeted is that days earlier, if not hours earlier, I had been inside the center where I saw, with my own eyes, separated children sitting on concrete floors, covered by those silver blankets, under a security contractor in a watchtower. It makes me sick every time I talk about it. It gives me the chills every time I talk about it, as — then — the father of a two-year-old boy. 

It was — and I don’t know —I really don’t know another way to describe it other than disgusting, to see social workers standing around Border Patrol agents, not allowed to touch the children, all because of official government policy when many of the families in there didn’t know what they were about to experience themselves, you know, to this day leaves me speechless. And to hear the Secretary of Homeland Security, who I didn’t know at the time, but I now know in writing the book, had signed the policy into place — it is just wrong. There’s no other way to say it.

MH: I mean, this is an administration that says openly: Don’t believe the evidence in front of your eyes, don’t believe what you see with your own eyes, and don’t believe what you hear with your own ears. It’s the gaslighters-in-chief. 

You say, early in the book, you sum things up this way, you say: “What I have now unequivocally learned is that the Trump administration’s family separation policy was an avoidable catastrophe, made worse by people who could have made it better at multiple inflection points.”

In what sense, Jacob, was it avoidable, given that we already had a president clearly bent on implementing harsh border policies? Who or what around him could have stopped it?

JS: Well, in particular, you know, Scott Lloyd, who was the director of the Office of Refugee Resettlement, was warned on multiple occasions about the damage — the long-lasting trauma — that family separations would do to children. And, ostensibly, this was the man who was the custodian of the thousands of migrant children in the custody of the United States government. And, in particular, Jonathan White, commander in the U.S. Public Health Commissioned Corps, under Health and Human Services, has testified publicly to this — that he warned Scott Lloyd about the long-lasting damage that separations would do to these children. (Scott Lloyd, of course, is the same official who tried to ban abortions in HHS custody for young migrant girls.)

And the bottom line is when you look at the actions of Scott Lloyd, he did anything but stop family separations from happening. One official later told me that he believed that this was the greatest human rights catastrophe of his lifetime, in seeing this take place under the leadership of Scott Lloyd. And had the career officials in HHS, child welfare professionals, whose motto is not only to do no harm, like in the medical profession, but to put the best interest of the clients first — and that’s the children — this never would have happened. The best interests of the children were very obviously not put first here. 

MH: Yeah. 

JS: The officials of HHS and the professionals were certainly pushing for that all along.

MH: And there were a lot of people involved in this process, none of whom resigned on principle, none of whom came out and became a whistleblower at that time, which says a lot about how certain people’s morals are corrupted working in this administration. 

Just to go back to an earlier point you made about this being a decades-long tragedy, a lot of Trump officials and Trump supporters — and some on the left — say it’s unfair to pin what you call “an American tragedy” wholly on Trump, because it was the Obama administration that built many of the cages that were used in 2018; it was the Obama administration that put unaccompanied minors from Central America in detention. There was a big overlap between a lot of their policies and practices at the southern border, between those two administrations. What do you say to them?

JS: Well, in some measure, they’re right. I mean, the Obama administration did build the McAllen Border Patrol Processing Center where I saw the children in cages. Those cages were built by the Obama administration. And they believe that that was the best option at the time. Certainly activists and immigration rights lawyers and such didn’t believe that, and were extremely vocal in voicing their opposition at the time.

The Trump administration had the opportunity to go in a different direction. They never signaled that that was their intention. In fact, they always signaled a harsher immigration policy than the Obama administration. But they didn’t have to institute the family separation policy; the Obama administration considered implementing the family separation policy. Some of the same officials within the Department of Homeland Security brought it up. And in the book I talk about how on Valentine’s Day, 2017, less than a month into the Trump administration, some of the officials that overlapped from the Obama administration into the Trump administration, basically revived — resuscitated — a policy, a rejected, discarded policy, that even the Obama administration, which was was not beloved by immigration activists, put the side. 

MH: Yes. 

JS: And this was a conscious, deliberate decision by the Trump administration to move forward with something that they knew all along was a deterrence policy, that was so bad, it would try to scare people away from coming to the United States. And John Kelly, when he was the secretary of homeland security in March of 2017, admitted freely on CNN.

MH: So, just to be clear, what Trump did in 2018 at the border with these “separations” is much worse than anything Obama, or, for that matter, George W. Bush, or Bill Clinton did at the border; that is fair to say based on your own reporting and research in this book?

JS: Well, the reason I say that this was unprecedented was that it was “systematic child abuse,” in the words of Physicians for Human Rights or American Academy [of] Pediatrics, at the hands of the Trump administration — deliberate, systematic child abuse or torture. 

The Obama administration, the Clinton administration, the Bush administration all had their own very harsh deterrence policies; I’m sitting in Arizona now where hundreds of people have died trying to cross in the desert because of border infrastructure walls, like the ones I’m looking at in front of my face as I talk to you. But never was the policy directed specifically at children for the purpose of hurting parents and children. And therein is the difference.

MH: Good point.

JS: I mean, that’s where the Trump administration took it to a level that had never been seen before. It doesn’t mean that, for a long time, there haven’t been cruel, harsh, and deadly immigration policies.

MH: But, in this case, it was a stated policy to cause harm in order to stop people from coming.

JS: That’s for sure. And they would never admit that, that the purpose was to hurt children. But when you say deterrence, you have to be deterred by something — and the something, here, was trauma.

MH: So, you paint a picture in the book of a president who — shock! horror! — is, you know, over his head. You know, he’s out of control, but he also doesn’t know what he’s doing. There’s a huge culture of fear around him, you say, in the White House. You talk about the chaos surrounding this policy; obviously, we know very much about the Trump administration’s incompetence when it comes to any area of public policy. 

But in my view, there’s also not enough discussion in our industry, Jacob, in the ‘liberal media,’ about the ideology that drives a lot of Trump’s immigration policy. This is not just them trying to look tough or messing up. You have a White House that openly plays footsie with white nationalists. 

JS: Mhmm. 

MH: And a top Trump advisor, Stephen Miller, who leads on this issue, and who is at best, an apologist for white nationalism, at worst, a card carrying white nationalist himself; this is a guy who the Southern Poverty Law Center, the SPLC, has thoroughly documented by his own leaked emails, has promoted white nationalist literature, pushed racist immigration stories, obsessed over the loss of Confederate symbols. And yet, we just don’t talk about it as much as we should. It’s like we’re too polite to mention the open white nationalism from this White House when we talk about immigration and border controls.

JS: Another way to put it is that the target of the Trump administration’s anti-immigrant policies are more often than not brown people —

MH: Yes. 

JS: — who come to the southern border where the majority of people who enter this country illegally, or ultimately stay in this country illegally, come via airplane from countries other than Central America or Latin America by overstaying visas. 

And the Trump administration has not — or did not, at that time — target visa overstays as their primary concern, when that was, by definition, by numbers, where most people who were in the United States ‘illegally’ were coming from. The policy has always been, the ire has always been targeting people with a different skin color coming from the southern border, and not at the majority of people who are entering the country and staying in the country illegally. 

And, you said it. I mean, that’s why this policy is, or was — I guess you could still say is, family separations are still happening — racist. I mean, this is not a policy that is being targeted at people who are flying here and staying here after going to school or getting a job or some other form of immigration to the United States. He’s targeting people who come through the southern border, period.

MH: Just to clarify for our listeners, you say family separation is still happening. Just briefly, how is it still happening?

JS: Well, the Trump administration is giving families an option: either separate, or be deported, or held indefinitely in family detention. That’s called binary choice. It’s the type of policy that’s being put forward. 

You won’t be surprised to learn, Mehdi, that nobody is selecting family separation as an option when they’re presented with it. 

MH: Yeah. 

JS: But it is still an option that the Trump administration is giving migrants in custody. It’s a catch-22 situation, you know? Either get kicked out of the country and your child stays here, and be in indefinite family detention with your child, or separate from your child, let your child go free, but you won’t see your child, because you’ll, you know, you’ll continue to be detained. It’s just family separation with a different mechanism.

MH: The ‘family separation crisis of 2018,’ I think we would agree, Jacob, was one of the biggest crises, one of the most horrifying episodes of the Trump presidency. And given how many big crises and horrific episodes there have been over the past four years, that’s a pretty high bar that it met. And even by the standard of awful Trump scandals, this one stood out.

And yet he survived. The people around him survived. A lot of people just forgot about it. Washington, the media, largely moved on. If we hadn’t moved on, if there had been consequences — for the lies, the law-breaking, the racism, the child abuse — do you think we might have avoided or even been better prepared for many of the other Trump crises that have since followed it?

JS: It’s such a good question. I would like to think so, but that goes back to the separation from the American public about what’s happening and why. 

And so often, I find, that too many of us are disconnected from the reality of what’s going on in our country. It’s too easy to look around in our own neighborhood —

MH: Yep. 

JS: — to talk about our own concerns versus what’s happening at the border. 

I’ll give you one example. I went to Tornillo, where they had that tent city in the wake of the separation crisis and all the migrant boys housed there. And I write about this in the book, I asked a local farmer growing pomegranates what his main concern was, and he said the production of food. And this was a man that was a stone’s throw away from thousands of kids being locked up in a tent in 100-degree heat in the middle of the South Texas desert. 

And, you know —

MH: Wow. 

JS: — I’ll never forget that. Because, you know, if, if he’s gonna forget about it, or if it’s not going to be top of mind for him, it isn’t going to be for people in suburban America either. And which is why, I think, you know, just it was so important to me to write this book, not just to remind people of this, but to answer those questions for myself: How could this possibly have happened? How could we possibly have moved on? You know, and what is it gonna take for this to not happen again?

MH: Well, I’m so glad you wrote the book and one of the issues that really bothers me is that there’s been very little accountability for the main players in this saga. 

Former Trump Chief-of-Staff, former DHS Secretary General John Kelly went off to work in the private sector. He even joined the board of Caliburn International, a company that operates the largest shelter for unaccompanied migrant children —oh, the irony. His successor as DHS secretary, Kirstjen Nielsen, was invited as recently as October last year to speak at Fortune Magazine’s Most Powerful Women’s Summit in Washington, D.C.. There doesn’t seem to have been much accountability.

JS: Not just no accountability, many but some of these people have been put in charge of the response or at least on the team to the coronavirus outbreak that’s killed over 100,000 people in this country. In the early days of the coronavirus crisis, I remember sitting at home on lockdown like everybody else, watching, up on the podium, Chad Wolf, now the acting secretary of homeland security — then, a top deputy to Kirstjen Nielsen — who, as my colleague Julia Ainsley first reported, was involved in the drafting of the initial family separation policy to be presented to her. 

Katie Waldman, as I mentioned, was the spokeswoman for Kirstjen Nielsen and is now the spokeswoman for the Vice President of the United States. It seems as though the people that were involved in the family separation policy have not been disciplined, or reprimanded, or faced accountability; on the contrary, they’ve been elevated to new positions. And you mentioned John Kelly, who’s started working with Caliburn, this company that is profiting off of the detention of child migrants in multiple facilities now, along the southwest border. 

I would say that it’s baffling and stupefying, but, again, it’s just like you said — it’s another one of these consequence-less actions of the Trump administration that, you know, they seem to benefit from when, you know, common sense would say they should be punished.

MH: By the way, at that Fortune summit, my good friend Amna Nawaz of PBS News asked Kirstjen Nielsen if he regretted the so-called family separation policy.

Amna Nawaz: I’m asking you if you regret making that decision. 

Kirstjen Nielsen: I don’t regret enforcing the law, because I took an oath to do that, as did everybody at the Department of Homeland Security. We don’t make the laws; we asked Congress to change the law, Congress reviewed the law in 2006 and decided to continue to make it illegal to cross in that manner.

MH: When you hear Nielsen saying that, Jacob, what’s your reaction?

JS: The same bewilderment that I felt when I saw her tweet that: “There is no family separation policy. Period.” I thought that that interview, by the way, was spectacular. 

MH: Yeah. 

JS: And the line of questioning was perfect, because Kirstjen Nielsen is an expert in slipping away from questions about the family separation policy. If anyone should face accountability for the policy, it is her. 

She had to sign, and I outline it in the book, a decision memo that sat on her desk with three options to implement the end of what was known as catch-and-release: the idea that migrants who come to the southern border would be released to the interior, with their families, until their immigration case would be adjudicated in the courts, until they had to show up for court. And by the way, many migrants — most migrants — do show up for that process, because they want to attain asylum in this country. 

She chose of the three options, the most severe, the most punitive of family separations. It was a deliberate and clear decision by her; she had to sign her name — literally on the dotted line — for the policy. And the idea that she doesn’t face any responsibility for this, that it wasn’t something that she ultimately would come to regret, I just don’t believe it. I don’t — knowing what I know about her, having sat face-to-face with her at the start of this policy — I do not believe that that is truly the way that she feels. And I know, certainly, that she knows the responsibility that she bears for it.

JS: And like every ex-Trump official, especially once he leaves office, everyone’s going to be spinning how they were actually resisting inside the administration — they were the good guys pushing back against awful policies from the top. 

And we focus a lot on Trump, and we should focus also on these ex-Trump officials who are trying to rehabilitate themselves; they should really be shunned by polite society. But sadly, we know Washington, D.C.: they won’t be, they aren’t being shunned. And that’s depressing. 

One last question for you, Jacob. Given what you saw with your own eyes, what you heard in terms of testimony from some of these parents and children — the trauma of it, as you put it — how hard a book was this for you to write.

JS: Well, certainly not as hard as being separated from your child, indefinitely, in the minds of a lot of these parents. It was — it was difficult to revisit. But covering family separations is something that will have changed me, forever, for my entire life. I think there’s a lot of people out there who, having watched the story — not just from my coverage, but from the wonderful journalism that was done, you know, during and after this policy — you know, it’s changed a lot of people. 

And, for me, this was something that I wanted to do to answer questions that I didn’t know the answer to in real time. And it’s also something that I wanted to do for Juan and José, because the reason that they decided to participate in this story with me was so that it never happens again. And I really mean that. You know, I don’t know if it’s kosher to say that as a journalist, that covering this, and writing this book, you know, for me has a specific and — what I hope — is a positive outcome. But that’s really what this was about for me. 

And to revisit it was, was difficult. But it’s nothing compared to what Juan and José and 5,000 other children went through. 

MH: Jacob, congratulations on an important book. Thank you so much for joining me on Deconstructed. 

JS: Thank you, Mehdi. Appreciate it.

[Musical interlude.]

MH: That was Jacob Soboroff, author of the new book “Separated: Inside an American Tragedy.”

And that’s our show! And we’re going to be on a little bit of a summer break, here on Deconstructed. The show will be back in August. Hope you’re all able to have a break too. Stay safe while we’re gone!

Deconstructed is a production of First Look Media and The Intercept. Our producer is Zach Young. The show was mixed by Bryan Pugh. Our theme music was composed by Bart Warshaw. Betsy Reed is The Intercept’s editor in chief.

And I’m Mehdi Hasan. You can follow me on Twitter @mehdirhasan. If you haven’t already, please subscribe to the show so you can hear it every week. Go to theintercept.com/deconstructed to subscribe from your podcast platform of choice: iPhone, Android, whatever. If you’re subscribed already, please do leave us a rating or review — it helps people find the show. And if you want to give us feedback, email us at Podcasts@theintercept.com. Thanks so much!

See you next month.

Article Source

[andyouknowitis]

“The Fandom Funundrum” in other words you don’t want to feel guilty for every advantage Harry’s been given. Noted! Keep pretending to care about Louis, you’re doing great sweetie!

This arrived in my inbox a week or so ago at the end of a very long, shitty fourteen hour day. 

Right then I was already dealing with the sudden loss of my uncle, who I’d just handmade a wreath for, as well as coming to terms with the fact that while I love my job, I will soon haveto leave it, and move, as all manner of things that have served to make it impossible for me to survive as a freelancer in this economic climate. 

I’ve discussed here, in painful detail, some of the otherthings I’ve had to work through in recent years, ever a work inprogress. I don’t know if I’m a good or bad person. 

But I’m a person. A real person. And I deserve better than this at the end of a really bad day, not least when I come to one of the places where I find comfort in small things and bright people that interest me and make me smile.

Louis is one of those people. 

One of the most important to me, as it happens.

I am not the blog for you. And certainly not with an action such as this one.

My crime, apparently was to post this, a reblog of something that I wrote a while ago as a general nod to being chastised for daring to enjoy one thing when another very bad thing was happening. 

It was not fully specific to any fandom or person when I wrote it, other than suffice to say, after many years online I’ve learned that fandom gatekeeping is a form of bullying and I have little patience left for it.

A cursory glance around my mess of a blog will show anyone who cares to look that while I do blog very much a lot about 1D, I am actually a multi-fandom blog. 

More specifically I am a ME blog. 

Hell my url is a Snow Patrol lyric and no-one ever gets it. Here I lay things I like, love, find interesting, think important, and want to share. 

A wallpaper made up of my mind, a patchwork comprised of things that for me, helps me make art and help people. 

In this instance anotherfandom I’m part of (shout out to my Emmerdale sheepy peeps) were arguing heatedly about something, which essentially boiled down to how can you enjoy x when y is happening etc. etc. While I do have a sideblog for in-depth stuff, mostpeople follow me on my main so I posted it here too.

And yes, after several years here, and online in general, I do get tired of seeing discourse after discourse that I’ve probably already discussed in detail in the past, as well as fandom infighting that only serves the money men and none of us. 

And certainly not Louis, or any of the 1D boys (they will be the boys to me even when they’re in their 80s shush). Something Iactually wrote about here, as relates to the 1D fandom, in the early summer of 2015, unknowing that the worst was yet to come, but knowing even then that I was tired of all the ways we had been fractured and used. 

People will forever be divided and conquered. I haveno wish to be another perpetual pawn in this tired game.

I very rarely publish asks I receive, either because I speak with people via message if something bears further discussion if they’re off anon, or because some things are just not worth the time and energy it takes to answer them. 

Some people don’t want to listen, only to be heard. Time is aprecious commodity that I have little of. 

When I do have free fandom time I like to spend it responding to interesting asks, writing fic when I’m able, making fan edits (mostly of Louis as it happens), working my way through the Womens and Equalities Committee findings on NDAs which I think may be pertinent (the inquiry is still ongoing), live blogging, and curating a peaceful space for when I need it.

And sometimes like this time, I engage.

The last time I took the time to answer something like this was actually also about Louis. I stood accused of infantilising Louis because I wrote a single tagline on a post I had made about wanting to give him a hug.

The time before that I was, conversely to the latest offering, apparently the devil for daring to hope that Louis would soon have more visible and tangible support from people in the industry. 

For a post I wrote THREE years ago almost to the day, and still stand by. 

I support him. I don’t have to meet anyone else’s standards of how to do that.

Something I really had to learn in therapy a couple of years ago was that it’s okay to get angry. It’s something I struggle with and fear somewhat. But I have learned. Sometimes it’s okay to get angry. 

And this is one of those times.

I am angry that a stranger, or perhaps even worse, someone who otherwise follows/followed me and should know at least a modicum of my character, would fucking dare to tell me, after all I’ve said and done, that I don’t care about Louis. 

Louis, who I care about most of all in this entire shitshow. 

Louis, who I care about so much, that the top thing my fandom friends will attest I whine about most is having to see Harry blogs on my dash that I know have said incredibly vile things about him.

I don’t know Louis. Nor may I hazard, do you, coward in my inbox. I’ll likely never meet him and I acknowledge that my perceptions of him are coloured by time, life experience, and an understanding of parasocial relationships. 

But I would hope I know of him well enough to feel that he’d agree if you’ve got something to say then a) have the balls tosay it to someone’s face (privately if not in public), and b) theprecise opposite of ‘let’s make someone happy today’ (his ownpractice when he has a shit day like the one I had), is to makesomeone unhappy like you have set out to do here.

I don’t know Louis. But I know enough to know that he’s important to me and why. 

Why above and beyond anything else he’s the reason why eight years ago I kept watching a show I had long before lost interest in. 

Why I voted every single week. 

Why he was the first person I took a photo of on TMH tour when I could finally afford to see them. 

Why I waited hours in relentless sun in a different country just so I could be at the barrier when he sang Moments right in front of me during WWA. 

Why I kept coming back after grief and loss in mypersonal life turned me inside out, time and time again. 

Why I stood in Sheffield on the final night of OTRA tour when my heart was numb to almost anything that could reach it. 

Why I met people who changed my life just by being in it.

The music is important to me, OT5 is important to me, but Louis, above all Louis is important to me. Louis is why I stayed when I wanted to go. Louis. Louis and friends that I’ve made here, who know me better than you ever will.

So please, if you haven’t already, please block me and neverinteract with me again. I don’t want to know. 

If anyone else reading this happens to feel the same about me, unfollow me now. 

I follow and sometimes interact with some people I don’t necessarily agree with, primarily because I like to be open to different aspects of discussion, and to not exist within a fandom vacuum. 

But I don’t tolerate vitriolic bad mouthing of any of the boys. And I will not interact with people who try to hurt me. 

Much less with someone who attempts to do it anonymously. The sad thing is you’re so very, very visible for what you are.

I am not the blog for you. 

You know why? 

Because I’m the blog for me. And you will not makeme feel bad about that, or about myself. Least of all about caring for Louis. Not now, not ever.

Oh and Sweetie? All the links are clickable. I have been here. I will be here. I am here. And there’s nothing you can do to change it. Knock yourself out. 

[zaggitz]

VIDEO GAMES 2017: ONE MILLION GAMES ENTER, TEN GAMES LEAVE.

Well that sure was the best year in video games since probably 1998, wasn’t it? Nintendo put out a new console and 3 major franchise entries, basically every anticipated game of the early 10′s finally frickin’ came out, we got 4 new English Falcom games, 3 of which with good locs, and they made a new Nier? What??? 

What a time to be alive.

Let’s not waste any time getting to the list, lord knows VIDEO GAMES 2017 has already sucked out enough time from me for a lifetime.

Before we begin, here’s my lists for 2015 and 2016.

Honorable Mentions:

Persona 5:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jaIo82uT0qs

It’s insane that this game isn’t in my top ten, hell, it’s insane that it isn’t in my top five. It’s less a commentary on Persona 5′s quality and more that the games that did make the list resonated with me a whole lot more. VG2017 truly was too powerful.

P5 is mired with stiff localization problems, but even without the loc in consideration, the thematic through-line of the game gets muddled and becomes a toothless version of the promising rebellious first ten hours the game provides by the time you reach the finish line, which also just happens to come 20 hours too late, in my opinion.

What a great looking and feeling game though.

Tales of Berseria:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYXwD2CfxOs

On the flipside we have this game, the first Tales game I’ve enjoyed since Tales of Vesperia back in 2008. This game has an amazing story and great characters with a thematic backbone that sticks to your ribs after you finish it.

Now if I didn’t hate the act of actually playing it and having to scour its way too big boring empty dungeons and crappily designed world, it’d be a list maker for sure.

OKAY NOW IT’S TIME FOR THE CERTIFIED BANGERS:

10. Metroid: Samus Returns

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhQWJG-_Oco

Somehow my least favorite Metroid game got two remakes that both made my list two years in a row?? This game is pretty great in it’s own right though it has a few control scheme imperfections and I could see a switch port easily being the definitive version to get.

The reason this game really makes the list though is because of how it lives up to its title. Finally an official Nintendo Metroid game that comes out and undoes Sakamoto’s vile character assassination of Samus back in Other M. . 

The queen is back, and she has been missed.

9. Horizon: Zero Dawn

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FD0DByDxJBA

An engrossing open world, great stealth/hunting/gathering systems AND robot dinosaurs are just a part of what makes this first outing for what seems like an extremely promising series great.

No, what really sets this game apart from its contemporaries is how it fleshes out its backstory, culminating in the creation of what might actually be the most despicable piece of shit villain ever put to writing for a video game. And he’s been dead for a thousand years so you can’t do shit to him.

Fuck you, Ted Faro.

8. Night in the Woods

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2UUFFMGcgY

This game hit extremely close to home for me. Forced to come back home to a small, dying town full of people clinging to the good old days instead of doing anything for the generation after them, having this game to play and have it be said out loud that yeah, other people are living this nightmare too, was insanely refreshing.

For as much as we all need a bit of direction sometimes, sometimes what we also need to know being a directionless 20-something asshole trying their best is okay too.

Also Gregg rulz ok.

7. Ys VIII: Lacrimosa of Dana

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNgph1g422Q

Great gameplay, great music, fun characters, one of the most fun to explore worlds in an action adventure game. This game truly nails the sense of pure adventure Ys is known for.

It’s a shame then that it’s plagued with one of the most laughable translation efforts in the industry, much of the games personality comes from the fact that even a bad localization job can’t overwrite some character quirks, but this still leaves the rest of the script feeling extremely stiff at best and incomprehensible at worst.

I hope the re-translation patch is good. Until then, Fuck NISA and have a good day.

6. The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiU65nQdZE8

I would describe this game as a great first step in evolving the Zelda formula. That’s not even really that accurate, the real first step was in Link Between World’s item rental/no dungeon order systems. 

Nevertheless, BOTW amazes with a sense of scope and exploration no game has ever really come close to, and achieves it almost effortlessly by simply giving you the ability to climb anything.

More music, more proper dungeons, a deeper story and a few durability tweaks are basically all you need to make the next Zelda game the easy best in series.

5. Yakuza 0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYB-D9qEwzI

This isn’t the best game this year, but it is easily, no question, the MOST video game this year. 110 hours in and only 60% complete, Yakuza 0 is the game that keeps on giving, with an enthralling true crime story that reshapes what we know about its protagonists. It’s pretty much a non stop emotional thrill ride to the finish line.

It effortlessly incorporates the best side story aspects from the many games in the series to come out before it, and utilizes them with a fantastical glee that keeps you with a smile on your face for the whole run. This is easily the funniest game I’ve played this year. Thank you SEGA.

4. Hollow Knight

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1unm0LS10ao

God I can’t wait for this game to get ported to consoles. I bought a new laptop basically just to play this game and the absolutely enthralling metroidvania world design, hand drawn and animated aesthetic, and fantastic npc characters blew me away.

The encounter designs are tough but fair(except maybe the Colisseum) and the DLC so far has been great. I can’t wait for all the post release content to come out so I can play through it all again on Switch and probably PS4. 

It’s insane only 3 people made this game.

3. Super Mario Odyssey

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhciLj5VzOk

Nothing to say here that hasn’t been said by hundreds of others. SMO is pure joy distilled into video game form.

I can’t wait for Odyssey 2 to come out and somehow blow this one out of the water like Galaxy 2 did for Galaxy.

2. Nier: Automata

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKOM3lNFajE

An amazing contemplation on what it means to be alive, and a thoroughly satisfying conclusion to a story that, for me at least, has been told since Drakengard in 2003. Game after game of sad tragic stories with bad endings and characters fighting an imperfect world imperfectly and only making things worse while temporarily making things better for themselves.

And really even in those cases there’s caveats.

Caviats???? Anyway.

Ending E of this game finally brings some semblance of peace for this fucked up world where a deranged killer and his dragon fell through the sky and made things the worst for everyone for literally tens of thousands of years. Finally Devola and Popola can sleep. All is well.

1. The Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky the 3rd

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wld2q4mLhYM

Another year, another Trails game at number 1. I’ll be real with you, I’m about to drop a bunch of personal rambly stuff about what this entire trilogy means to me so if you don’t wanna read that, that’s fine. 

This game is basically a perfect epilogue to a game that means a whole lot to me and serves as an amazing capper to an amazing jrpg trilogy.

When I first played Trails in the Sky First Chapter, it was the PC version in 2014. Now in 2014 I was coming off being in college for about 6 years, switching majors a few times and not really being into what I was doing but, yknow, you gotta major in something and then you gotta get a job, that’s kind of what getting started as an adult is. 

So I played this weird little jrpg that was, fundamentally, about a country and the people in it trying to move on from a tragic war years prior, hiding their still fresh wounds in plain sight and just trying to go on with their lives. 

It was an extremely interesting game, for how plot-light it was in the early goings, you got to really feel the struggle of these people and the unseemly past they were trying to run away from or avoid repeating. This underlying conflict builds and builds until we can’t ignore it anymore.

When I played Second Chapter a year later, I had been laid off from a job I got right out of College and had no employment prospects. I hated the fact that I’d spent basically my entire adult life up to that point doing something I wasn’t passionate about and then got let down by the system. 

At the same time, the shame of my situation lead me to close up and not tell anyone about the problems I had, I was broke, I owed two months rent, on the verge of getting evicted, I felt extremely alone.

All this to get to the point that Second Chapter was ultimately a game about pulling out the dark shit we don’t like talking about and saying “it’s okay to talk about this stuff, there’s always someone who will listen.” It got me to get over myself somewhat and actually reach out for help, and I’m really thankful for it not letting me hit rock bottom.

Two years later still, I’m in a much better place, I finally feel happy about where my life is and what I’m doing and oh boy here comes Trails in the Sky the 3rd.

Completing the journey I started back in 2014, I found myself playing a game all about how it’s okay to acknowledge the bad things that happened to us, so long as we learn and move on from them accordingly.

This trilogy has so much heart, and so many memorable characters, and so much to say. It’s so, so special to me, and I was openly weeping when all the characters I’ve come to know and love over 4 years finally parted ways.

Thank you Falcom for making these games, and thank you Xseed for bringing these games to us.

TL;DR

[breakingarrows]

January - June 2019 in Film

The Favourite

Really enjoyable dark comedy about a trio of lesbian aristocrats, one of which happens to be the queen of England, struggling for political power and control.

Velvet Buzzsaw

Doesn’t do enough to be a fun horror movie but at least Jake Gyllenhaal is fun as a pretentious art critic.

Dragon Ball Super: Broly

Watched this on my phone late one sleepless night. The action in the backhalf is what people came for, but it was the stuff surrounding Broly that I cared more about. When he gets confronted in a lunch room I was actually somewhat affected, thinking, “Leave him alone!”

Psycho

Excellent thriller

Police Story

God I love everything about this film. The comedy is superb and the action is the best of Jackie’s films. Poor, poor May.

Twin Peaks Fire Walk with Me

The soundtrack is the best thing I’ve heard in a long while. The film is what some may expect of Lynch, ethereal and sometimes meandering. Laura Palmer’s death is certain, but the film overcomes her predestined fate and makes you empathize with her.

First Man

Decent bio-pic lite, mostly watched for Ryan Gosling. Surprised at the time dedicated to dealing with grief of both his daughter and the others who died while testing things. Audio during flights make them actually thrilling even though you know he’s not going to die.

Hal

Reminds me I need to watch his actual films. His hatred of the studios is very endearing.

L.A. Confidential

Films like this I could watch forever.

They Shall Not Grow Old

I watched this after a long day so fell asleep midway through in the theater. Hopefully I didn’t snore as it was packed.

Sunset Boulevard

Strange film about relationship between writer and former star. Others liked it more, and have dug into it more, but it didn’t hook me that much.

The Return of the Living Dead

Pretty fun comedy but kinda expected more gags.

Incredibles 2

Disappointing.

Under the Skin

The kind of film that grows on you the more you think about it. Need to rewatch at some point. Love how there is barely any dialogue.

Evolution

Worse than I remember.

Mr. Nice Guy

Awful, didn’t even bother to finish after stream glitched out.

Suburban Commando

Standard action/comedy with wasted potential.

Dune

Perfect source material for Lynch. So ethereal and evocative.

Ghost in the Shell 2.0

Why ruin a perfectly good film with dated CGI?

Miami Connection

Better as a Best of the Worst viewing.

Police Story 2

Not quite as good as the first but still beyond most action movies nowadays.

Us

Prime reddit text post material whose explanation works against it.

The Fabulous Baron Munchausen

Lovely kids fantasy storybook material put to film. The color, the music, the adventure, I love this film.

Chinatown

God I could watch Noirs like this everyday for the rest of my life. What an ending too.

The Seventh Seal

Made me think about my relationship with Christianity that I abandoned years ago.

2001: A Space Odyssey

Still impressed by the way they handled the visual effects of space travel. Also impressed by how well it holds up as a idealistic projection of mankind we still haven’t, and probably will never, reach.

Ed Wood

Johnny Depp is an awful person but man is Ed endearing in this film.

My Name is Julia Ross

Very good thriller. Classic gaslighting.

So Dark the Night

Thriller with a twist that is “meh.”

Won’t You Be My Neighbor

That damn commencement speech fucking gets me.

Guava Island

Enjoyable little short.

F for Fake

I hate masterpiece as a descriptor because its so overused and thrown around by pretty much all forms of critical media in the mainstream/amatuer space but fuck me if this isn’t the closest thing I can think of. Masterful editing, unbelievable that this came out in the midst of the entire subject its covering.

The ‘Burbs

Not Dante’s best, the ending really ruins it. Why have a treatsie about the culture of a neighborhood only to go on and fulfill it?

Fauve

Haunting film that would make me keep the children indoors for a week if I had them.

The Wages of Fear

Excellent thriller about trying to escape from dead ends. There was no need to treat the woman lover so badly though.

The Big Heat

Don’t even remember this one lol.

The Virgin Suicides

Really captures that sort of constant flux of extreme emotions of my middle school years. Fuck that mom also.

Lick the Star

Nice little short.

Twin Peaks: The Missing Pieces

Decent addition, though the only one of these that would have improved the film would be the transition from David Bowie to the meeting of the man from another place above the convenience store.

The Hidden Fortress

Hard to watch this without thinking about the things Lucas took for Star Wars, but separate from that an excellent adventure film that I’m glad had a happy ending.

Avengers: Endgame

Total shit the more I think about it. Officially done with the MCU and Disney at large in terms of film output now that I paid my dues by watching this out of obligation than actual interest. What a waste of what little potential there was after the similarly disastrous Infinity War. Why bother making a whole first movie about Thanos if you’re just going to dump that in the follow up? Disney’s biggest outputs of the past decade (MCU and Star Wars) have been such shit and I’m glad I no longer feel the need to waste my time and money on them with this setting me free.

Drive a Crooked Road

Decent noir.

Under the Silver Lake

Enjoyable though something that is hard to qualify as good or not. Would have to rewatch with a notepad to determine whether or not the things it kinda motions towards have any real depth or meaning to them beyond the surface level.

Freaked

Fucking fantastic comedy film. The gags are so good and come so often. Wish they made more like this.

Unicorn Store

This will keep you guessing as to whether the Unicorn shows up or not and I’m not going to spoil it. Brie’s boss staring off into space after being asked if this is what he wanted or not was fucking great though.

Matinee

The true love letter to B movies.

Blue Velvet

One of Lynch’s weaker films though Kyle and Laura Dern are fantastic and the roots of Twin Peaks are obvious.

John Wick: Chapter 2

Made me google the plot summary to John Wick 3 instead of going to see it.

The Legend of Drunken Master

Decent Jackie film. The ending setpiece is really what you watch this for.

In a Lonely Place

Very good noir, loved the ease of which the film transitions the viewers empathy from the male lead to the female.

Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile

I like Zac Efron but the point of the film is kinda muddled and its hard to believe this was supposed to be from his girlfriend’s point of view when she’s barely in it.

The Elephant Man

I cried.

Godzilla: King of the Monsters

Disappointing to see them repeating the fault of Infinity War by placing the blame of the deterioration of the world in the hands of “overpopulation.” What kinda fucking rich bourgeois propaganda is this shit?

Godzilla

Copy+Paste everything from the commentary track here. Good shit.

Tampopo

What a wonderful film about the love of food and relationships we have with it. Truly a ramen western.

Shazam

You know this wasn’t that bad, but boy was that ending shot of Superman a pathetic representation of how bad the DCEU has been.

Dreams

These vignettes were very evocative of the emotions summoned by my own dreams. Dreams about grief and longing, nightmares you can barely run from, imaginative scenarios with rules that are entirely fictional but so real in the moment. The ending was a nice monologue against effects of the industrial revolution and modernization and a celebration of life.

Paths of Glory

Fuck war, fuck the rich, fuck those that perpetuate violence for their own gain, fuck it all, I hope they burn for eternity.

[nintendo-world-girl]

Today hurts. Not because my favorite pop star just had her entire career shit on. Blah blah blah. She’s rich. She’s white. She’s blonde. I get it. Whatever. All of this hurts because she’s a woman who’s been taking care of business since day one and the one man she TRUSTED with her life- practically her story- decided to sell her work to another man who has not one ounce of respect for her. We’ve seen this so many times before. Not just in the music industry, but in our own lives. We’ve all had that one man who we admire pull the carpet from underneath our feet. You’re at a loss for words. Like the one person who made you feel safe suddenly became the demon you feared. We see this a lot in all types of places of work. We see this in romantic relationships. Friendships. It’s all too common at this point. There’s something vile about holding Taylor’s own music over her head like a cat toy. “You get one album back for each album you release.” My skin crawls! She wasn’t even given the chance to properly bid for her catalog. Scott Borshitta gave her the nastiest ultimatum not realizing it was SHE TAYLOR ALISON SWIFT who made him and his company. The lack of respect in order to signify that he has the power now... no wonder she walked away. Thank god she was lucky enough to walk away. We as women have to fight everyday to taken seriously. To see Taylor Swift- one of the most popular figures in the world- be mocked like this is discouraging. Men wonder why women call them trash... well here’s your answer. Nothing we ever do is fucking good enough for you clowns. Nothing we say, do, or no matter how we dress you don’t see us as equals. It’s such a tired fight. I almost cried at my work desk because this world is hard enough as it is. This- this really hit close to home and it stings considering I’m a black woman in the arts and I KNOW exactly what she’s going through right now with an added dash of racism. Sometimes I think things will get better then there’s situations like this that serve as a subtle reminder that I and every other woman in this world will always be told where our place is.

[smokeybrand]

Distract and Subvert

With the advent of Zoe Quinn releasing a book on her experience with GamerGate, and I can’t stress the “Her experience” part, I wanted to weigh in on the situation. To be honest, I was ignorant of Quinn outside of her role in exposing the way gaming media conducts its sordid business. I legitimately knew nothing about the harassment or whatever she had received, just that she was a sh*tty girlfriend that slept around on her dude, for nothing more than high marks of her sh*tty games. Anita Sarkesian is in there somewhere but I don’t know how. The gist of what I took away from my initial foray into GG was that there was wild corruption and conflict of interests within the gaming journalist communities. I’ve seen several videos about this and read even more article. As a gamer of some 30 years (I am old as f*ck), I knew that the industry was a little bit of a boys club in the regard. It made sense that gaming companies would placate reviewers with this and that. If you’ve ever worked at a GameStop, you saw this firsthand. I did. Swag days were the best! So Imagine my surprise when, as I dug further into this story, it morphed from the very real issue of ethics in gaming, to some wild ass third-wave feminist, quagmire.

Now, before the pitchforks come out, i want to say, I am, unequivocally, feminist. Just not this sad internet feminism that has saturated everyday media. My ideals stem from the fact I was raised by a bra burning hippie turned overworked mother. I watched her toil in her profession while people with much less experience, male and female, were promoted over her because of connections, looks, or penises. I spent ample time with my grandmother in her mountain residence, a place I considered a refuge from my abusive ass home, where I learned culture, commerce, and free thinking. Admittedly, my grandma was probably a witch but that aspect of who she was just made her all the more well-rounded I think. These women shaped my perception of what it meant to be a woman in America. What it meant to have to exist in a male dominated world. And it was sh*t. I knew that at 5 years old. I wanted more for my mother. I wanted more for my grandmother. I wanted more for all women in the world. I am a card carrying feminist raised by strong black, feminists. I legitimately don’t understand how women are treated so poorly. How can we belittle the women in our lives so aggressively? They’re our mothers, sisters, cousins, wives, and more. They’re partners in this thing we call life. Why are we treating them so differently? Why are we treating them as commodities instead of the vibrant creatures they truly are?

I would just like to reiterate, however, I find third-wave feminism to be ridiculous and often far more problematic than helpful but that’s a discussion for another day I think.

As I did my research and learned more about what GamerGate became, as opposed to what it started out as and should have actually been about, I found myself disgusted. Not with the perceived chauvinism or attacks against Quinn, but with the way the media so transparently tried to shift focus. Within a week, the issues brought up about the ethics in gaming journalism were lambasted into some big ass patriarchal conspiracy. And instead of reporting on the facts that certain individuals n the journalist community exchanged sexual favors or monetary bribes for advantageous reviews and articles, we get “no more ghurls in m’ games”! The speed of acceptance by the media spin was insane. Actual publications like the New York Times, not just IGN or Otaku, were publishing articles about the toxic nature of the gaming community towards women. The vast majority of these articles were written by the very same people the initial inquiries of GamerGate were trying to expose! Almost everyone missed that through and, instead of taking a good hard look at what it mean to be a journalism not just in gaming but in general, we get the villainizing of the male gamer, BY GAMING JOURNALISTS!! Literally, gamers call bullsh*t on your bullsh*t tactics, and in response, you use those same bullsh*t tactics to essentially divert attention from the fact they called you out on your bullsh*t to begin with!

I do believe there is a problem with the gaming community but that needs to be taken with a grain of salt. A lot of these aggressive assholes online are in the minority, they just have the loudest voice. The same could be said about and visible “movement”. No one wants to report on the intelligent debate because that’s not sensational enough. No one wants to talk about how things are actually improving in the gaming space or how we as a demographic are exceptionally welcoming as opposed to something like music or Hollywood. Yes, there is a very loud, very vocal minority that most people outside of the gamin culture take to heart. That gatorade douchebag playing COD that bashes women and teabags his opponents constantly or that fat, zitty, neckbear who’s playing some random RPG in the cold recesses of his mother’s basement. Those people exist, sure, but they’re not all of us. They are the problem though. It’s these type of people that the mainstream media focus on. It’s these characters that end up labeling and perpetuating suck ire from everyone in society who doesn’t game. It’s these characters that people like to focus on to villainize an entire culture. It’s the equivalent to saying all Muslims are terrorist even though the vast majority are not. Or that all cops are bad even though the vast majority are not. And while that demographic of gamer is very loud, there are those of  us decrying, just as loud, their actions but no one reports on that. The mainstream media pretends that the counter-voice is a hushed whisper because everyone wants to watch a crazy person be crazy. It’s that “he is NOT the father” mentality that permeates out society and it’s bullsh*t.

In my experience, the gaming community is very inclusive; very welcoming, even if your point of view runs contradictory to the overall consensus. Where else can someone like a Zoe Quinn or an Anita Sarkesian even find an outlet for their preferred voice, as problematic or volatile as they can be. Let them try that sh*t in the Hollywood arena. They’d be mercilessly drowned out in second. But, within the gaming community, they’re allowed their voice and perspective. And admittedly, some of their arguments are legitimate, albeit embellished. For every cheesecake representation of the female form, there is one that is equally strong and compelling. For every Princess Peach, you have a Samus Aran. For every oversexualized Tifa Lockhart (a personal favorite of mine, by the way) you have an equally compelling Aloy (Another favorite of mine). I don’t think it’s a huge issue that DOA: Beach Volleyball is a thing. I do believe, however, we need more games like Horizon that showcases the strength and willpower of a strong female character where the polygon count in her bust isn’t even an issue to begin with. Women protagonists don’t always need to be sexy spies, or sexy ninjas, or sexy anything. We need to better represent a realistic female voice in our games. That doesn’t mean you have to adjust the polygons to look like Lena Dunham instead of Scarlett Johansson. Female characters can be every bit the badasses the male ones are, and still be considered classically or ideally attractive. And if you don’t believe so, go make a f*cking game reflecting that. That is the beauty of the gaming industry; Anyone can create whatever they want as long as they have the tools to do so. So stop complaining and point fingers. Get out there and create the change you want.

I got a little sidetracked from my initial point but I felt elaborating on those two points, the toxicity of the online gaming community and perceived sexism and objectification of women in gaming, were necessary to clarify my position on the overall Gamergate fiasco. I’ll probably write at length about their issues at another time but my point in all of this is, look what just happened. I wrote about two polarizing topics within the community right now and you’re feeling some kind of way, most likely. That’s exactly what happened with Gamergate. That’s exactly what these “Journalists” did. By deflecting their responsibility for their sh*tty actions, they created and entirely different beast. A rampant monstrosity that is poising the culture as a whole. Instead of taking the call to heart, these assholes desired to attack, and we’ve been wounded ever since. Should those discussions about sexism and abuse have happened? Absolutely. But definitely not in the toxic, antagonistic nature that they are being shouted about now. What started out as a call for accountability from the gaming community toward the gaming journalists, turned into a crusade against women by those destructive stereotypes of gamers, designed by gaming journalists to deflect the initial call for responsibility and reform. Now Zoe Quinn is releasing a book, in partnership with Anita Sarkesian (you had to know they would find themselves into this situation even more so than they already are) that will probably change the narrative further, shifting focus even more from the core issues we all wanted to showcase.

Let me be clear:

What happened to Zoe Quinn was sh*tty and no one should have to deal with that, period. Regardless of how you feel about what she did beforehand, how she went about promoting her game, or who she did or didn’t sleep with, Zoe Quinn did not deserve the vile treatment she received.

While believe Anita Sarkesian is a detriment to both feminism and gaming over all, I understand and accept the fact that the conversation she started needs to be had. Even if Sarkesian’s way of talking about it might turn off a lot of people, myself included.

We as a community need to be better at calling out the bullsh*t we see be it hypocrisy, abuse, harassment, or the like. It’s not a boys club anymore. It’s an entire living culture that has ebbs and flows. We need to accept hat and open ourselves up to growth. The old ways should be left in the past and newer, better ones created was we move forward, together. Vagina and penises, alike. Or, you know, whatever you identify with.

Gamergate was never a “it’s me or them” situation that i turned out to be. It was a legitimate movement to change something that had been crippling the growth of our community for years. What it turned into was something even worse at the hands of the people who we wanted to change by shining a light on there shortcomings. Instead of accepting that criticism and look inward as a means of self evaluation, they lashed out at the very people who support them. Distract and subvert; a model on destabilizing whole countries that is actively working in America as we speak. The insidiousness of this shift in message perpetrated by those already branded guilty was incredible to see. These people would do anything to preserve that status quo. The episodic nature and ultimate dismissal of the core issues within Gamergate are, in themselves, the problems that gave rise Gamergate in the first place. The fact that no one seems to want to acknowledge any of this is completely wild to me and indicative of symptoms proving that the problems will continue. As long as we in the community continue to fight about polygon tits and 12 year old assholes, the real issues will ever find resolution.