#the first 3 are basically the same level of quality with original getting ahead for technical greatness

[angstics]

fun that skam was like here are all these female centred storiessss and also a gay man. Real asf

[jeonwonwoo]

☆ UPSCALING LOW QUALITY FOOTAGE

what i used: • 2021 macbook pro with m1 chip (390/500gb storage used she's hanging in there) • photoshop 2020 • mpv (for screencaps but this isn't needed!) • handbrake (available for linux, mac and windows here) • video source to gif

what is handbrake? basically its a software that helps you change the format of videos, such as for certain devices or screens, or in the case that we're going to utilise, quality and frame rate!

disclaimer: handbrake is super easy to use and very beginner friendly for this procedure and it can make a video go from 30fps to 60fps however it does not replace the quality of true 4k/blue/master-pro res files. in the gif below, this is the level of detail in a master pro-res file.

getting started it's easiest first to note the timestamps of the video you want to encode, and keep in mind that unless your computer is incredibly powerful, i wouldn't try to encode an hour worth of footage in one run! my laptop could handle about 30 seconds in one go before she started toasting.

using handbrake: once you've downloaded the software, open the software and it will come up with a pop up window asking you to open the video source (that is presumably saved within your folders) and go ahead and do so!

in the range section, use the drop down button to navigate to seconds and enter your timestamp. the duration on the side will show how long of the footage you're gonna encode is!

then go down to the save as, and give your footage 'to be snipped' a name. this isn't necessary but useful because if you're planning to say, encode 3 or 4 small parts of footage in one sitting, each encoding instance will overwrite the previous one. so i just call mine 'cut 1', 'cut 2' and so on.

next go to preset, and there you'll see such a wide variety of options that you can play around with, with differing qualities, frame rates, sound options, and so on. for the sake of this tutorial, i'm using 'superhq 2160p60 4k av1 surround' and i've used the drop down menu to select it! then go ahead and press start! the time taken to complete depends on the duration of footage that you sent to encode! you'll find your encoded video as an .mp4 file in your designated folder (which you can change via browse at the bottom)

what next? • if you prefer to open footage directly into photoshop (my ps can't handle it), then go for it! • if you screencap as i do, then just use mpv or whatever screencapping program you prefer to make the screencaps and open in ps in your usual manner. • you can use the timestamps to further process the video through vapoursynth to denoise, but i've yet to try that!

the results for this first set of example footage, i used footage from the be the sun concert file, which is almost 2 hours in length and 4gb in file size.

you can see the difference in the smooth frame rate of the footage, as well as the quality of the sharpening!

and to utilise the bane of gifmaking, a gose episode, notorious for dodgy pixelated frames and less hd quality in 1080p on youtube, i ran it through the same settings!

these are the exact same files, downloaded using 4k video downloader and with the same sharpening, but see how on the original file, the sharpening looks a bit more harsh and 'outlined' while it seems to sit softer on the encoded 4k version!

so i mainly use handbrake for dvd files, or not-so-hd 1080p youtube videos or videos that seem a bit clunkier but i had never tried them on a tv/film file so take a look below! i used a 1gb (so not very good quality) of a show (as compared to its 4gb files).

as i said at the start in the disclaimer, handbrake can't replicate true file quality, as you'd expect to see in a proper hd bluray/t*rrent file of a show but there's an interesting difference in the frame rate. personally it's not something i would utilise much there but its all up to individual preference on how someone prefers to have their gifs <3

this is a very basic run-through of how i used handbrake, as i haven't really explored all its features and i use this as a quick process when i'm running through seventeen dvd/dl files but i feel like it would work well on general youtube videos (such as interviews, episodes, behind the scenes) and feel free to send an ask/message for any help/clarification! <33

[legofrans]

Fire emblem tier list based on my own personal enjoyment of the games. Don't ask what happened to the colors I'd like to know too. Tiers are ordered.

Obviously heavily biased towards my own tastes, but also to the expectations I had going into each game. This is in no way intended to indicate the actual quality of the games.

Short thoughts on my experience on all the games below. It adds up to a pretty long post.

Fates: I originally played it back in late 2016. Dumb as I was, I thought "oh hey if I just play revelation it'll kind of be like I get to experience both routes right?"

Well it turns out revelation sucks ass. I got to the final chapter but Soleil (I had an affinity for lesbians back then. Wondered why that was) got countered with a 3% crit, I ragequit, and I haven't touched any of the games since.

New years resolution is to play conquest. I've heard good things about it's gameplay so if I go in with 0 expectations for the story I think I'll be able to enjoy it.

Dark dragon and the blade of light, as well as Gaiden, have several problems that can be very neatly summarized: they're old. Not much here in terms of story to comment on.

. . . Engage. Let's start with the good: the gameplay is fantastic. One of the best in the series. Most games add some unique spin on the formula to make it their own, and for most it works out well. Engage takes that and goes above and beyond. Smashing weapons (forgot the term) is a fun addition. Engaging is also a really interesting strategic aspect. Skill management is really, really good. (although I wish weapon durability had also been a part of it.)

Problems start coming with the story. It's pretty much a stock standard Fe story. Evil dragon gets resurrected, we gotta stop him. This is considerably less interesting here than with Marth though. Marth was kind of a nobody (crown prince of a minor country but who is keeping track) while Alear is like. The Divine Dragon. Everyone knows them and loves them and is willing to bend over backwards or the nearest countertop for them. It just does not make for an interesting story for me.

There's also the Emblems! As said, fantastic gameplay addition. Story wise they first make no sense. Secondly, if you're going to put some of the most beloved characters from a franchise in a game, you should make sure they represent how they were in the game. Engage kinda falls flat here imo.

Then there's also the artstyle. I dont think Mika Pikazo is a good fit for fire emblem. It works for a few characters, but overall it leaves me wanting something else. Especially for the Emblems, I don't think I like how any of them look except like Roy and Camilla.

For most of the games in the series I can genuinely say that my critique comes from a love of the game. Im not sure I can say that in regards to Engage. It definitely comes from a love for the series as a whole, but I think engage is the only entry in the series which I actually dislike.

Shadow Dragon! Not too much to say here. It's Marth! You girls know Marth right?

The plot and gameplay are both very basic, and not much to write home about. Marth being s bit of an underdog makes him more interesting than Alear. The reclassing is interesting in concept, but I never really got into it.

New mystery of the emblem is kind of just more of the same, but with a larger cast and everything is happening again. It kind of works.

This entry and Shadow Dragon could kind of go either way, but ultimately the Gaiden chapters are enough of an interesting addition to put new mystery ahead.

Three houses was a pretty fun game! But I don't think it's a good fire emblem game. there's a lot I could say about the monastery and the class system, and the skill system and the grinding and the completely uncapped levels! I have a hard time considering it a mainline entry.

In short, around 70% of the game is either grinding or non-FE gameplay and I didn't enjoy that. What's more, I started with CF, and that route is straight up unfinished.

Three hopes isn't here because it's not a mainline entry but unironically enjoyed it more than Three houses.

Binding Blade! Good game. Good FE too. Pretty basic plot, but it's good enough. I'm not at all fond of the "true ending" stuff and also there's the hitrate issues for everything that's not swords. Roy as a protagonists is also one of the weaker ones in the series I think. Sorry man.

If I had played fe6 before 7 & 8 I'd probably have rated it higher. But all the GBA games are good, and everything that's C-tier and aboveis something I'd recommend.

Genealogy of the holy war is a very different fire emblem, but unlike 3H it is still distinctly Fire emblem. I didn't have much in terms of expectations going into this one. It has a lot of quirks, both good and bad.

The typical story formula has a very nice twist on it this time and keeps things interesting. Which is good since the story is one of the biggest draws, since the game offers a bit less in terms of challenge when compared to the other games in the series.

The gameplay quirks are very interesting, such as weapon kills, but because some units are extremely heavily favored in this game, it only ends up mattering for very few units or if you go out of your way to use other, worse units.

Shadows of Valentia is a game I really would've liked to put in high A-tier. It is probably the best remake of a game I've ever played.

But it's too faithful to the original. My problems with Gaiden were not just that the graphics actually hurt my eyes and that the menus were confusing and everything looked kind of weird. The maps. . . . also kind of suck.

There's too much weird terrain with too powerful bonuses. There's also too much open field. Enemy starting locations feel random. Many maps have one chokepoint to get through and that's all the features there is to it.

And then there's the story. One problem with having the script be about 300 times that of the original is that you can fit so much more misogyny in there. And they did.

Thats the negative stuff out of the way let's go to the positive. The class system rules. I'm a big fan of promotion bonuses going to a class base stat instead of adding flat numbers. The magic system with learned spells and HP cost is also really cool.

The weapon system is also great, with being able to promote certain weapons into other things with special features and skills. I like it! It's interesting! Items are kind of whatever though.

Radiant dawn is a mostly fantastic game with two very big problems and one major nitpick. The latter is that there's true ending bullshit again.

The problems are: the new support system. It's boring. Less opportunity for characterisation for everyone that's not a major player in the story.

The later chapters are also just a slog to get through. If you've been in the Fe fandom for a long time you've probably seen memes about RD enemy phases. It is like that.

Good things! The bonus XP system! It's fantastic. Being able to almost pick which stats you want a unit to grow in if you know what you're doing is great! Makes it so practically every unit can be good.

They did kind of screw over Laguz units though. And the Renning bullshit pisses me off so bad.

Blazing blade is a very good game and was many peoples first FE game. I don't have many thoughts on this. If Blazing blade was a dish it'd be bread dipped in olive oil. Simple. Fantastic. You don't need much more.

Awakening was also the introduction to fire emblem for a lot of people. According to some it saved the franchise, according to others it killed it.

Personally I had a lot of fun playing this. It has many well designed chapters, and a simple and fun skill and class system. Though, it has some issues in overleveling and access to grinding. The pair up mechanic is also somewhat of a double edged sword, which I really like. Do you want one stronger unit, or multiple strong ones? It's interesting! . . . . Until you get to A support or unlock dual guard+ at which point there's just one correct choice.

I really liked how silly the writing in awakening got. Very funny script, and a lot of memorable characters.

Mystery of the emblem turns 30 in a few days, and looks surprisingly good for its age. I started playing this a few months before three houses came out, and I had already played all the other games in the series ('cept fates) at that point. I had low expectations considering how bad DD/Gaiden felt to play, but mystery of the emblem feels almost good to play.

I don't miss weapon level being a stat like all the others. But I do miss the starshards (growth modifiers my beloved) and the very funny again staff.

S tier :)

Sacred stones was the first turn based strategy game I ever played and I've been hooked since. No, real chess does not count.

It has a really good tutorial, it's not that difficult of a game, and it has a very simple and easy to follow plot. It's definitely the best game to play if you want to get into fire emblem.

Chapters are well designed, the graphics are charming, and the characters are too.

Again, all the GBA games are very good. There's not too much to say here.

Path of Radiance features several of my favorite characters in the series. Titania, Ike, Soren, Lethe, Jill, "Eat rock" guy, Leanne, and Lucia.

This is probably the best the series ever got in terms of writing. It breaks of from the typical "oh no the evil dragon is being revived" formula and manages to have a plot that feels much more centered on the characters, which I love. The base conversations really help with that.

It's not just the story that's phenomenal the gameplay is also really good. The skill system is a bit limited, but the decisions feel all the more impactful because of it.

The class system has a pretty unique twist in that your units are promoted by leveling past level 20 this time around. The bonus XP system also helps a lot with that, although the Bonus XP system this time is just random stats, unlike in Radiant dawn.

While not the game I enjoyed the most, it's definitely the game I recommend the highest.

Thracia 776 is almost infamous in the fandom. Its known for being one of the hardest, if not the hardest game in the series. It has a lot of peculiarities, like capturing, leadership stars, movement stars, movement growths, magic and resistance being the same stat, stealing equipped weapons, forced dismounting, no Langes indoors, FUCC, Infinite duration statuses etc. . . Theres a lot going on.

But most of it is really good. And more importantly. Almost all of the bullshit goes both ways. Sleeping enemies sleep permanently. Enemies can capture your units, too.(which also has strategic value since it halves their stars) Your units have leadership stars. The fucking thief staff.

It also features one of my favorite mechanics, the crusader scrolls. It's essentially the same thing as the starshards but this time around they also help preventing crits. The modified growths together with thracias extremely low stat caps means effectively every unit can become very strong. Though there's still FUCC, movement stars, and skills to consider. All units are not created equal.

Thracia also has one of my favorite narratives. It is the smallest scale conflict (except Lyn mode) in the series and it makes for a very interesting change of pace. It's not a grand heroic adventure, but just about Leif trying to live to fight another day.

And that is also pretty well reflected in the gameplay. Thracia introduced both Escape and defense maps. It would've been a very different game if it had been all rout and seize maps.

All in all though, the game does at some points feature some actually unfair and unfun things too. Xavier's recruitment. 24x's warp tiles. Ch.4 if you don't know. Going into Thracia completely blind is a decision you'll have to make on your own. I tried doing that and had to hard reset upon hitting chapter 4. Then I opened a guide, and honestly, I don't regret it. But you should play the game if you haven't. It's good.

Also here's a tier list on how good of a game I think every game is, while trying to be impartial.

[the-firebird69]

All of are brand new on all of our vehicles and all of our kids that you purchased with the chassis are brand new. None of them have seen the roadway or tar in any way

It's going like this we got some questions but not too many they assumed it's brand new and it is brand new but it's a good point to say and we do stick with the exact model and we don't veer from the model that we say we're using and we include literature on all of the parts and so forth from the original vehicle and we tell you what there is in it and it's not very hard the computer does lots of the work

We do double check all of the literature every single letter

And then we published the final copies in the review and then issue and we are prepping to do so we will have a series of new cars and it's all the first model the Lamborghini Diablo hellcat lrs and it will be released next Monday and we are issuing the first sales on people have purchased about 10,000 of them and they are about $185,000 each and this car is a $3 million car and the reason why they're a little bit more than $150,000 is the upgraded speed kit which does bring it to the same speed as the actual Lamborghini Diablo 720 mph they're only three other supercars produced that are not custom then go that fast

Meghan Markle and yeah this marketing approach is intense and it's basically because the kids will be mostly used on used vehicles and we don't provide any used vehicle all of our chassis are new and it makes a big difference to people and our cars are all brand new it is a new car production facility

We approve this to publish

Olympus

This is a lot of fun it's getting calls from all sorts of women no a couple and he thinks it's her and it is her but still he's kind of like hoping to get some sort of something and she's going to put together but she said she'll wait for more sales because he said it and she's going to get a ton they'll see these things out there Megan Merkel and they will actually probably doing sane they will go insane he says and turn into nutcases overnight and you'll have another babbling Brook bunch of people I do agree this is going to make people insane it's so cool this idea is so cool

Hera

What is the interior quality level and what is it made of

Shaquille O'Neal

It is a complete replica and was selling it as such and the chassis being different makes it something they won't complain about much hopefully but it is a complete replica inside of the Lamborghini Diablo and the originals and the new one and we do have different years and we're offering different years the newer ones are $25,000 more and weather without the speed kit if you add that it's another $25,000 but they have the crushed Corinthian leather and it is real then they're going to have to increase production and we told them that and they have all of the inside parts are identical materials and they are the same exact knobs and dials the dash is made out of the same patent leather and we research where and the seats of course are made in the same way we do have replica seats we purchase out from a different supplier but they have the same filler and the same Corinthian leather on the outside and the company carpeting and roof interior is all the same on the lighting fixtures everything is a direct match by color and quality of course it's not the same supplier

Meghan Markle

Great so it's replica quality they have a grade and they'll probably bring it up later but to begin with the price is outrageous the speed is outrageous and the materials are pretty much the same as the original if you don't know the Lamborghini Diablo is made from frprcr and it is a certain mix and hers looks like it's the same if not very close and it does have an enclosure like the Lamborghini Diablo does this is one of my favorite vehicles and I'm going to buy some now and I can't believe it's my grandson again and he's hoping that I speak to Megan Merkel and try and get something for going ahead with this and she can help us and I do have a great outrageous ideas this is a terrific marketing approach and he should get a stipend and social security would be in a fight and we want that fight and yeah we're big

Shaquille O'Neal and yeah I'm saying it you little wise ass he says I'm not going to be little for long and all the comments will probably stop and I'll say that's terrific it really is

That's great Chris it is terrific and that's all I'm going to say well I'm going to order some this is terrific but really you stopping talking is just great he says it is true I think I'm going to pass out right now from lack of oxygen and that's true too it takes energy and I am going to go ahead and get him something maybe this is a great idea they're going to be loved by my people and their replicas and you can do it legally and I can't believe it these things are going to be awesome how far do you have to go not very far she's right near us I tell you what I think I'm going to order 20 of them to start and see what the quality is and how it runs this is intense I've never seen anything like this idea in the new one is available I don't believe this I got to see this

The Rock

It's real and we're making them and I hope you come down and see us tomorrow we have it in the shop and we have pamphlets and leaflets already made up and it's it's a beautiful vehicle and this guy is nuts but he is a designer and that's what he does and it's an awesome idea I've never seen so much response in my life and he says he wants to see you in the movie did you see them in the background and it's probably mine and I can't believe it it's a marketing deal and I can get you stuff for doing it

Meghan Markle

I think you're in the movie but that's okay and we can do it together

The Rock

I don't want you doing anything together I'm not an old maid but you have to watch it buddy

Camilla

Yeah I will you look similar now I know what to do and there's nothing

The Rock

We do give permission to print

Olympus

This is awesome people are coming out and actually talking to her and she wants to get it going a little faster and she's got both and they're making the molds and they're going to get prototypes up and she's going to start production and try and shoot for Monday for getting a whole bunch of them out and she's going out and getting chassis and yes the Midwest and elsewhere and the upper Midwest and she can order chassis if she has to she said that too and they do sell it or she can go buy new ones and he suggested she goes and buys new ones and they're only about $60,000 now they're $40,000 she says why would I go buy new ones off the lot and he says in case you can't get chassis so she's going to go buy a bunch and she knows what he means and you can also put those on top of a different chassis and she's smiling and say that's ridiculous stupid crap you're talking about

Hera

[cherry-interlude]

Lana Del Rey Unreleased Ranking (3)

This is a re-ranking of Lana's unreleased songs, after making a first a few years ago. This is all my opinion, which I don't mind anyone disagreeing with but don't come for me for it - honestly, I like every song, despite any criticism, and this ranking is very vague. It's based on objective and subjective opinion.

This is the third of five posts, with the middle songs.

Dreamgirl

Purely wholesome and dreamy, Lana adds some very fifties “shoo-wops” to play a fifties starlet whispering, her vocals soothing and soft along with the looping piano that guides the song.

Jimmy Gnecco

Breathless over the brisk guitar, Lana gushes over Jimmy – mixing her adoration of her lovers with wannabe-starlet fangirling. It’s one of her best acoustic tracks as she smirks and requests a trip to the park.

Elvis

Lana’s acoustic dedication to her icon Elvis Presley is memorable despite how stripped back it is. It could have been cleaner but Lana’s sorrowful desperation to be close to this man who she is such a fan of works well in being decent output from her.

Boarding School

It’s a difficult listen, considering Lana’s nostalgia is for a “pro-ana nation” and a school where “makig love with your teachers” is revered, but it may just be a satirical look at her time in boarding school when she was younger. I don’t enjoy listening to such worrying topics being handled in an upbeat song but the song itself has well-written lyrics and a great instrumental.

Television Heaven

This song is incredibly sweet, with lovely lyrics, dreamy verses and a distinctive pop feel, but it is definitely a strange mash of instrumentals. It’s not too jarring but it does make the song fall lower in ranking. It feels indecisive as it goes from sugary pop to a slightly darker feel in the choruses, and the lyrics aren’t the most imaginative in Lana’s library of tracks.

Be My Daddy

Lana’s full on sex-kitten in this song that opens with twangy guitars and her hushed “what’s up?” as she greets her potential “daddy”. With dirtier lyrics that she’s “open like a Christmas present” and how she’ll “fuck you”, Lana avoids keeping the sex in just the vibe of the song.

Break My Fall

Another song made for another artist, Lana this time sounds like she’s doing her own track. The pop sound is still ideal for actual music charts but Lana pulls the song off well, playing a strong woman far removed from the tragic women of many of her songs. It’s strong in quality and doesn’t stray into more experimental territory where many of Lana’s unreleased songs reside.

Hit and Run

With three versions to pick from (the poppy original, the Born To Die style slower version and the demo Criminals Run The World that’s a little more overt about Lana’s violent intentions), all three of these songs have something special about them. The pop version is bouncy and chaotic, perfect for a wild spree of gun fights and car chases. The slower version is much more seductive and measured, but a little too reflective compared to the manic power of the upbeat version. Criminals Run The World ranks much lower, not as smooth compared to Hit and Run but still with that insanity that makes Hit and Run a wild ride.

Heavy Hitter

With a jazzy introduction, Lana gives us a glamorous tale of a star having an overdose (somehow she makes it glitzy). However, following the suggestive chorus in which Lana asks her man to open his butterfly doors of his car (to drive her to get help, somehow delivered with seduction rather than horror), the lyrics get lost in Lana’s generic praising of herself and her wicked ways. However, it’s a staple of Lana’s unreleased music, even if I do skip after the (if you think about it) harrowing first verse and chorus.

Behind Closed Doors

The instrumental is a little bit all over the place, but it does work when Lana details her ill-received romance to her lover, then jumps right in the chorus to eagerly tell him how much she enjoys sleeping with him.

Gangsta Boy

Lana is inspired by Betty Boop as she croons and gasps her way through the track. The vibe is great, though the music falls a bit, but Gangsta Boy is playful, light-hearted fun.

You’re Gonna Love Me

Lana may be raw in her vocals and basic in her instrumentals (only a guitar) but Lana takes control, self-assured she will make the listener adore her. Her confessional whisper that she might just want to be loved gives this song a knowing edge despite the pondering questions and realism-on-the-edge-of-pessimism feel tone.

Living Legend

Lana’s Living Legend was intended for Ultraviolence, and whilst the song fits in it is definitely one of her more slumbering songs. Yet her sentiment is strong, her lyrics thoughtful and thoroughly enjoyable. All of the versions bring something a bit different but it is underlined by great song-writing.

Hey You

Lana has fun greeting a potential lover with this track and I have as much fun listening to it. The chorus is sparse and repetitive but Hey You is all about grabbing your attention rather than going to deep.

Is It Wrong?

Claustrophobic and guided by a smart riff and technological glitches, Lana pulls off the perfect unhinged groupie as she questions whether or not she is wrong for wanting the star of her dreams so much. The glitching is great for really seeing how Lana teeters on the edge of sanity for this guy she can’t resist, going from being the starlet to the foaming-at-the-mouth fangirl.

Playground

Lana becomes a rapper apparently in Playground and hits back at anyone who doubts her and her music. With a cloying chorus that compares the music industry to a playground of bitchy comments and school yard, Lana’s verses are smooth and her references overall decent. It can be a little bit clunky in places but it doesn’t take itself too seriously.

Motel 6

A cute little dance track which namedrops Jim and her sister, Chuck, Lana brings the party to her favourite motel, downplaying her glamour to throwback her ‘lore’ and her old life pre-fame. Though it’s very much just describing one night rather than anything complex, it’s harmless fun.

Dynamite

Like the explosive dynamite itself, this song is punchy, restless and powerful. Lana layers this dominating track with innocent references to ice cream and pillow fights whilst also not holding back from the sexual references.

Afraid

Neat and mournful, Lana finally breaks off from her toxic partner. Lana is either sick of being worried for the future or terrified of her partner, and its reflective sadness as she plans to go back home still leaves hope that she will be able to be happy.

Wayamaya

Rolling calmly like a beach wave, Lana takes us straight to Hawaii and paints us an image of handsome surfers and Mercurys. Wayamaya is simply a soothing, short, cute little track that keeps very much surface level.

Hawaiian Tropic

Plinky music paired with non-stressful verses and imagery of Hawaiian shirts, this is the (in my opinion) better version of Every Man Gets His Wish (which shares the same chorus). The subtlety of this track compared to Every Man Gets His Wish helps to convey the hurt feelings a lot better, with the nostalgic feel and mournful longing in the vocals.

Dum Dum

Lana plays the alcoholic star who name drops Scarlett O’Hara and Bugsy Malone as part of her identity. These lyrics are pretty witty and the song snappy but, like some of her unreleased music, is a bit too overproduced and not cohesive. The verses and choruses don’t quite gel which doesn’t make for a song that flows well but with tweaking it could be even better.

Hollywood’s Dead

Lana fits perfectly into the era of fifties with this mid-20th century driven track. It sounds perfectly in place for the decade she frequently romanticises (with a modern twist) and Lana’s crooning, tearful references to her icons drips with glamour.

Fake Diamond

For an anti-romance song, Fake Diamond is quite upbeat. Lana complains of her ‘lover’ who is one way with her, a different way with others, whilst comparing their relationship to all manner of Lana-themed aesthetics (diamonds, movie projectors, etc.). Comparing herself to a child, she practically has a tantrum in the chorus, stamping her feet lovingly as she demands he loves her. I do think this song is joyful, making fun of her inattentive lover whilst keeping one step ahead of his games.

I Must Be Stupid

Lana’s live unreleased track lets Lana enjoy her life despite the hurt that surrounds it, showing strength in the face of heartbreak and other such topics in her music. It was performed post-Lust For Life, an era in which Lana embraced the light side rather than simply the dark.

Live Or Die

The version that is a little bit more lowkey and, in some ways, mature in that it matches a lot of her early albums sound is good but it’s not my favourite. There’s the heady, ultra-pop second version that has plenty more sexy references, a little meow (iconic) and an overall vibe of just having fun on the run. The former version is a bit more serious, but the second is – though less good in terms of production – full of soul.

Velvet Crowbar

Velvet Crowbar is a song that shows the dark side of fame and bad boys, namely the way they self-destruct to the point that their adoring lovers (already addicted to these gangstas of course) are falling with them. This song is a warning to these destructive souls that they aren’t invincible, and an equal warning to the people that love them that they might just fall apart and lose them. Lana puts her emotion across so well, with her stark lyrics, anxious guitars and growling third chorus. Even her more flowery imagery doesn’t cover up the overt fear that runs through this song.

Your Band Is All The Rage

Probably one of Lana’s saddest songs (which could be a great deal many since she knows how to tug heartstrings), Lana lets go of her rock star lover despite still loving him in this acoustic track. She makes soulful promises to be there when he needs him, her love lingering until he wants her back, and utilises the country music theme to her advantage.

1949

The studio version is my favourite but the charm of the original, acoustic demo is unmatched. Despite the controversial inspiration for this track, Lana puts us straight in the world of the 1950s, with American motels and Kmart. It has a note of sadness – perhaps because of the unfortunate tale of Lolita that much of this song seems based on – but it works as one of Lana’s aesthetically pleasing and classic tracks.

Because of You

The spoken intro is a little bit cringe but the song is lovely. Lana plays an immature brat who fell in love with a good man who essentially tamed her (a little bit questionable for some in 2021). It’s got some of her most flowery imagery and it details how her relationship bought out the best of her. The casual comments she throws in throughout the song give this a real bedtime story feel, though this song is anything but sleepy.

Resistance

Frustrated but fun, Lana’s catchy and upbeat Resistance brings to mind surfers and sunny days set in the noughties. Even though she’s furious with the guy who’s causing her so much trouble it still, for a change, stays perky and pleasant. A song that needs more attention, it’s the type of song that gets people singing and dancing along to it.

Dangerous Girl

With a rock-feeling patriotic opening, Lana launches into a track about her prowess as a dangerous girl, like a deranged beauty queen with a gangsta on her arm. It’s simply fun, complete with wolf-whistles and an impression of a siren.

[felassan]

Insights into DAI’s development from Blood, Sweat, and Pixels

The book is by game industry journalist Jason Schreier (it’s an interesting read and well-written, I recommend it). This is the cliff notes version of the DAI chapter. This info isn’t new as the book is from 2017 (I finally got around to buying it). Some insight into DAO, DA2 and cancelled DA projects is also given. Cut for length.

BW hoped that DA would become the LotR of video games. DAO’s development was “a hellish seven-year slog”

The DAI team are compared to a chaotic “pirate ship”, which is what they called themselves internally. “It’ll get where it needs to go, but it’s going to go all over the place. Sail over here. Drink some rum. Go over here. Do something else. That’s how Mark Darrah likes to run his team.” An alternative take from someone else who worked on the game: “It was compared to a pirate ship because it was chaotic and the loudest voice in the room usually set the direction. I think they smartly adopted the name and morphed it into something better.”

A game about the Inquisition and the large-scale political conflicts it solves across Thedas, where the PC was the Inquisitor, was originally the vision for ‘DA2′. Plans had to change when SW:TOR’s development kept stalling and slipping. Frustrated EA execs wanted a new product from BW to bolster quarterly sales targets, and decided that DA would have to fill the gap. BW agreed to deliver DA2 within 16 months. “Basically, DA2 exists to fill that hole. That was the inception. It was always intended to be a game made to fit in that”

BW wanted to call it DA: Exodus, but EA’s marketing execs insisted on DA2, no matter what that name implied

DAO’s scope (Origin stories, that amount of big areas, variables, reactivity) was just not doable in a year, even if everyone worked overtime. To solve this problem, BW shelved the Inquisition idea and made a risky call: DA2 would be set in one city over time, allowing locations to be recycled and months to be shaved off dev time. They also axed DAO features like customizing party members’ equipment. These were the best calls they were able to make on a tight line

Many at BW are still proud of DA2. Those that worked on it grew closer from all being in it together

In certain dark accounting corners of EA, despite fan response to DA2 and its lower sales compared to DAO, DA2 is considered a wild success

By summer 2011 BW decided to cancel DA2′s expansion Exalted March in favor of a totally new game. They needed to get away from the stigma of DA2, reboot the franchise and show they could make triple-A quality good games. 

DAI was going to be the most ambitious game BW had ever made and had a lot to prove (that BW could return to form, that EA wasn’t crippling the studio, that BW could make an ‘open-world’ RPG with big environments). There was a bit of a tone around the industry that there were essentially 2 tiers of BW, the ME team and then everyone else, and the DA team had a scrappy desire to fight back against that

DAI was behind schedule early on due to unfamiliar new technology; the new engine Frostbite was very technically challenging and required more work than anyone had expected. Even before finishing DA2 BW were looking for a new engine for the next game. Eclipse was creaky, obsolete, not fully-featured, graphically lacking. The ME team used Unreal, which made inter-team collab difficult. “Our tech strategy was just a mess. Every time we’d start a new game, people would say, ‘Oh, we should just pick a new engine’.”

After meeting with an EA exec BW decided on Frostbite. Nobody had ever used it to make an RPG, but EA owned FB dev studio DICE, and the engine was powerful and had good graphic capabilities & visual effects. If BW started making all its games on FB, it could share tech with sister studios and borrow tools when they learned cool new tricks. 

For a while they worked on a prototype called Blackfoot, to get a feel for FB and to make a free-to-play DA MP game. It fizzled as the team was too small, which doesn’t lend itself well to working with FB, and was cancelled

BW resurfaced the old Inquisition idea. What might a DA3 look like on FB? Their plan by 2012 was to make an open-world RPG heavily inspired by Skyrim that hit all the beats DA2 couldn’t. “My secret mission was to shock and awe the players with the massive amounts of content.” People complained there wasn’t enough in DA2. “At the end of DAI, I actually want people to go, ‘Oh god, not [another] level’.”

It was originally called Dragon Age 3: Inquisition

BW wanted to launch on next-gen consoles only but EA’s profit forecasters were caught up in the rise of iPad and iPhone gaming and were worried the next-gen consoles wouldn’t sell well. As a safeguard EA insist it also ship on current-gen. Most games at that time followed this strategy. Shipping on 5 platforms at once would be a first for BW

Ambitions were piling up. This was to be BW’s first 3D open-world game, and their first game on Frostbite, an engine that had never been used to make RPGs. It needed to be made in roughly two years, it needed to ship on 5 platforms, and, oh yeah, it needed to restore the reputation of a studio that had been beaten up pretty badly. “Basically we had to do new consoles, a new engine, new gameplay, build the hugest game that we’ve ever made, and build it to a higher standard than we ever did. With tools that don’t exist.”

FB didn’t have RPG stats, a visible PC, spells, save systems, a party of 4 people, the same kind of cutscenes etc and couldn’t create any of those things. BW had to create these on top of it. BW initially underestimated how much work this would be. BW were the FB guinea pigs. Early on in DAI’s development, even the most basic tasks were excruciating, and this impacted even fundamental aspects of game design and dev. When FB’s tools did function they were finicky and difficult. DICE’s team supported them but had limited resources and were 8 hours ahead. Since creating new content in FB was so difficult, trying to evaluate its quality became impossible. FB engine updates made things even more challenging. After every one, BW had to manually merge and test it; this was debilitating, and there were times when the build didn’t work for a month or was really unstable.

Meanwhile the art department were having a blast. FB was great for big beautiful environments. For months they made as much as possible, taking educated guesses when they didn’t know yet what the designers needed. “For a long time there was a joke on the project that we’d made a fantastic-looking screenshot generator, because you could walk around these levels with nothing to do. You could take great pictures.”

The concept of DAI as open-world was stymying the story/writers and gameplay/designers teams. What were players going to do in these big landscapes? How could BW ensure exploring remained fun after many hours? Their teams didn’t have time for system designers to envision, iterate and test a good “core gameplay loop” (quests, encounters, activities etc). FB wouldn’t allow it. Designers couldn’t test new ideas or answer questions because basic features were missing or didn’t exist yet. 

EA’s CEO told BW they should have the ability to ride dragons and that this would make DAI sell 10 million copies. BW didn’t take this idea very seriously

BW had an abstract idea that the player would roam the world solving problems and building up power or influence they could use. But how would that look/work like in-game? This could have used refinement and testing but instead they decided to build some levels and hope they could figure it out as they went.

One day in late 2012, after a year of strained development on DAI, Mark Darrah asked Mike Laidlaw to go to lunch. “We’re walking out to his car,” Laidlaw said, “and I think he might have had a bit of a script in his head. [Darrah] said, ‘All right, I don’t actually know how to approach this, so I’m just going to say it. On a scale of one to apocalyptic... how upset would you be if I said [the player] could be, I dunno, a Qunari Inquisitor?’” 

Laidlaw was baffled. They’d decided that the player could be only a human in DAI. Adding other playable races like Darrah was asking for would mean they’d need to quadruple their budget for animation, voice acting, and scripting.

“I went, ‘I think we could make that work’,” Laidlaw said, asking Darrah if he could have more budget for dialogue. 

Darrah answered that if Laidlaw could make playable races happen, he couldn’t just have more dialogue. He could have an entire year of production.

Laidlaw was thrilled. “Fuck yeah, OK,” he recalled saying.

MD had actually already realized at this point it’d be impossible to finish DAI in 2013. They needed at least a year’s delay and adding the other playable races was part of a plan/planned pitch to secure this. He was in the process of putting together a pitch to EA: let BW delay the game, and in exchange it’d be bigger and better that anyone at EA had envisioned. These new marketing points included playable races, mounts and a new tactical camera. If EA wouldn’t let them delay, they would have had to cut things. Going into that BW were confident but nervous, especially in the wake of EA’s recent turmoil where they’d just parted ways with their CEO and had recruited a new board member while they hunted for a new one. They didn’t know how the new board member would react, and the delay would affect EA’s projections for that fiscal year. Maybe it was the convincing pitch, or the exec turmoil, or the specter of DA2, or maybe EA didn’t like being called “The Worst Company in America”. Winning that award 2 years in a row had had a tangible impact on the execs and led to feisty internal meetings on how to repair EA’s image. Whatever the reasons, EA greenlit the delay.

The PAX Crestwood demo was beautiful but almost entirely fake. By fall 2013, BW had implemented many of FB’s ‘parts’, but still didn’t know what kind of ‘car’ they were making. ML and team scripted the PAX demo by hand, entirely based on what BW thought would be in the game. The level & art assets were real but the gameplay wasn’t. “Part of what we had to do is go out early and try to be transparent because of DA2. And just say, ‘Look, here, it’s the game, it’s running live, it’s at PAX.’ Because we wanted to make that statement that we’re here for fans.”

DA2 hung on the team like a shadow. There was insecurity, uncertainty, they had trouble sticking to one vision. Which DA2 things were due to the short dev time and which were bad calls? What stuff should they reinvent? There were debates over combat (DAO-style vs DA2-style) and arguments over how to populate the wilderness.

In the months after that demo, BW cut much of what they’d shown in it. Even small features went through many permutations. DAI had no proper preproduction phase (important for testing and discarding things), so leads were stretched thin and had to make impulsive decisions.

By the end of 2013, DAI had 200+ people working on it, and dozens of additional outsourced artists in Russia and China. Coordinating all the work across various departments was challenging and a full-time job for several people. At this sheer scale of game dev, there are many complexities and inter-dependencies. Work finally became significantly less tedious and more doable when BW and DICE added more features to FB. Time was running out though, and another delay was a no.

The team spent many hours in November and December piecing together a “narrative playable” version of the game to be the holiday period’s game build for BW staff to test that year. Feedback on the demo was bad. There were big complaints on story, that it didn’t make sense and was illogical. Originally the PC became Inquisitor and sealed the breach in the prologue, which removed a sense of urgency. In response the writers embarked on Operation Sledgehammer (breaking a bone to set it right), radically revising the entire first act.

The other big piece of negative feedback was that battles weren’t fun. Daniel Kading, who had recently joined BW and brought with him a rigorous new method for testing combat in games, went to BW leadership with a proposal: give him authority to open his own little lab with the other designers and call up the entire team for mandatory play sessions for test purposes. They agreed and he used this experiment to get test feedback and specifically pinpoint where problems were. Morale took a turn for the better that week, DK’s team made several tweaks, and through these sessions feedback ratings went from 1.2 to 8.8 four weeks later.

Many on the team wished they didn’t have to ship for old consoles (clunky, less powerful). BW leadership decided not to add features to the next-gen versions that wouldn’t be possible on the older ones, so that both versions of the game played the same. This limited things and meant the team had to find creative solutions. “I probably should’ve tried harder to kill [the last-gen] version of the game”, said Aaryn Flynn. In the end the next-gen consoles sold very well and only 10% of DAI sales were on last-gen.

“A lot of what we do is well-intentioned fakery,” said Patrick Weekes, pointing to a late quest called “Here Lies The Abyss”. “When you assault the fortress, you have a big cut scene that has a lot of Inquisition soldiers and a lot of Grey Wardens on the walls. And then anyone paying attention or looking for it as you’re fighting through the fortress will go, ‘Wow, I’m only actually fighting three to four guys at a time.’ Because in order for that to work [on old gen], you couldn’t have too many different character types on screen.”

Parts of DAI were still way behind schedule because it was so big and complex, and because some tools hadn’t started functioning until late on. Some basic features weren’t able to be implemented til the last minute (they were 8 months from ship before they could get all party members in the squad. At one point PW was playtesting to check if Iron Bull’s banter was firing, and realized there was no way to even recruit IB) and some flaws couldn’t be identified til the last few months. Trying to determine flow and pacing was rough.

They couldn’t disappoint fans again. They needed to take the time to revise and polish every aspect of DAI. “I think DAI is a direct response to DA2,” said Cameron Lee. “DAI was bigger than it needed to be. It had everything but the kitchen sink in it, to the point that we went too far... I think that having to deal with DA2 and the negative feedback we got on some parts of that was driving the team to want to put everything in and try to address every little problem or perceived problem.”

At this point they had 2 options: settle for an incomplete game, which would disappoint fans especially post-DA2, or crunch. They opted to crunch. It was the worst period of extended overtime in DAI’s development yet and was really rough: late nights, weekends, lost family time, 12-14 hour days, stress, mental health impacts.

During 2014′s crunch, they finally finished off features they wished they’d nailed down in year 1. They completed the Power (influence) system and added side quests, hidden treasures and puzzles. Things that weren’t working like destructible environments were promptly removed. The writers rewrote the prologue at least 6 times, but didn’t have enough time to pay such attention to the ending. Just a few months before launch pivotal features like jumping were added.

By summer BW had bumped back release by another 6 weeks for polish. DAI had about 99,000 bugs in it (qualitative and quantitative; things like “I was bored here” are a bug). “The number of bugs on an open-world game, I’ve never seen anything like it. But they’re all so easy to fix, so keep filing these bugs and we’ll keep fixing them.” For BW it was harder to discover them, and the QA team had to do creative experimentation and spend endless late nights testing things. PW would take builds home to let their 9 year old son play around. Their son was obsessed with mounting and dismounting the horse and accidentally discovered a bug where if you dismounted in the wrong place, all your companions’ gear would vanish. “It was because my son liked the horse so much more than anyone else ever had or will ever like the horse.”

MD had a knack for prioritizing which bugs should be fixed, like the one where you could get to inaccessible areas by jumping on Varric’s head. “Muscle memory is incredibly influential at this point. Through the hellfire which is game development, we’re forged into a unit, in that we know what everyone’s thinking and we understand everyone’s expectations.”

At launch they still didn’t have all their tools working, they only had their tools working enough.

DAI became the best-selling DA game, beating EA’s sales expectations in just a few weeks. If you look closely you can see the lingering remnants of its chaotic development, like the “garbage quests” in the Hinterlands. Some players didn’t realize they could leave the area and others got caught in a “weird, compulsive gratification loop”. Internet commentators rushed to blame “those damn lazy devs” but really, these were the natural consequences of DAI’s struggles. Maybe things would have been different if they’d miraculously received another year of dev time, or if they’d had years before starting development to build FB’s tools first.

“The challenge of the Hinterlands and what it represented to the opening 10 hours of DAI is exactly the struggle of learning to build open-world gameplay and mechanisms when you are a linear narrative story studio,” said Aaryn Flynn.

“DA2 was the product of a remarkable time-line challenge,” said Mike Laidlaw, “DAI was the product of a remarkable technical challenge. But it had enough time to cook, and as a result it was a much better game.”

Read the chapter for full details of course!

[demifiendrsa]

Microsoft has announced that it has acquired ZeniMax Media, the parent company of Bethesda Softworks, for $7.5 billion.

Bethesda Softworks is the parent company of Bethesda Game Studios, id Software, ZeniMax Online Studios, Arkane Studios, MachineGames, Tango Gameworks, Alpha Dog Games, and Roundhouse Studios, and owns major franchises such as The Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Wolfenstein, DOOM, Dishonored, Prey, Quake, Starfield, and more. 

Comments from each party:

Phil Spencer, Head of Xbox

Today is a special day, as we welcome some of the most accomplished studios in the games industry to Xbox. We are thrilled to announce Microsoft has entered into an agreement to acquire ZeniMax Media, parent company of Bethesda Softworks.

As one of the largest, most critically acclaimed, privately held game developers and publishers in the world, Bethesda is an incredibly talented group of 2,300 people worldwide who make up some of the most accomplished creative studios in our industry across Bethesda Softworks, Bethesda Game Studios, id Software, ZeniMax Online Studios, Arkane, MachineGames, Tango Gameworks, Alpha Dog, and Roundhouse Studios. These are the teams responsible for franchises like The Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Wolfenstein, DOOM, Dishonored, Prey, Quake, Starfield, and many more.

Bethesda’s games have always had a special place on Xbox and in the hearts of millions of gamers around the world. Our teams have a close and storied history working together, from the amazing first DOOM, and its id Tech engine, innovating games on PCs to Bethesda bringing their first console game to the original Xbox, the groundbreaking The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind. Over the years I’ve had many deep conversations with the creative leaders at Bethesda on the future of gaming and we’ve long shared similar visions for the opportunities for creators and their games to reach more players in more ways.

Just as they took the bold first steps to bring The Elder Scrolls franchise to the original Xbox, Bethesda were early supporters of Xbox Game Pass, bringing their games to new audiences across devices and have been actively investing in new gaming technology like cloud streaming of games. We will be adding Bethesda’s iconic franchises to Xbox Game Pass for console and PC. One of the things that has me most excited is seeing the roadmap with Bethesda’s future games, some announced and many unannounced, to Xbox console and PC including Starfield, the highly anticipated, new space epic currently in development by Bethesda Game Studios.

Like us, Bethesda are passionate believers in building a diverse array of creative experiences, in exploring new game franchises, and in telling stories in bold ways. All of their great work will of course continue and grow and we look forward to empowering them with the resources and support of Microsoft to scale their creative visions to more players in new ways for you.

All of our work, and the foundation of our relationship with you, starts with a commitment to deliver a breadth of amazing games to discover and play on Xbox. Over the last few weeks, we’ve been excited to share more detail on important elements of a plan we’ve been building towards for years. A plan that is the fulfilment of a promise, to you the Xbox player, to deliver the most performant, immersive and compatible next-generation gaming experiences, and the freedom to play blockbuster games with your friends, anytime, anywhere. Today is a landmark step in our journey together and I’m incredibly energized by what this step means for Xbox.

Please join me in welcoming all of our friends at Bethesda to Team Xbox.

Pete Hines, Bethesda Softworks

Today we announced we’re joining the Microsoft family.

And if you haven’t had a chance to read what Phil Spencer and Todd Howard shared in their posts this morning, be sure to check them both out. When you work at a place as long as I’ve worked at Bethesda—just a month short of 21 years—you see some things. Chief amongst them is change. When I started, Bethesda was not much more than a handful of people. The team working on Morrowind fit in a couple of offices, and there were probably six or seven of us spread across everything else.

Bethesda Softworks, our parent company ZeniMax Media, and our many internal studios, now employ thousands of talented people working in publishing offices and development studios around the world. We’ve gone from one internal studio to many; from a focus on single-player fantasy RPGS to developing massive MMOs, first person shooters, and everything in between. The world, our industry, and our company has changed a lot in the 34 years since Bethesda Softworks was first founded. Today, it changed again. And I know that brings up questions.

But the key point is we’re still Bethesda. We’re still working on the same games we were yesterday, made by the same studios we’ve worked with for years, and those games will be published by us.

So why the change? Because it allows us to make even better games going forward. Microsoft is an incredible partner and offers access to resources that will make us a better publisher and developer. We believe that means better games for you to play. Simply put—we believe that change is an important part of getting better. We believe in pushing ourselves to be better. To innovate. To grow.

And, we have a long history of working with Microsoft. Our companies share many of the same basic principles. We believe in a culture that values passion, quality, collaboration, and innovation. When I think back to the first time we decided to shift from being a PC-only developer and make Morrowind for the original Xbox, it was a move that countless people said would never work…nobody on consoles wanted a game that big and complex. But Microsoft believed in us and so did you. And now RPGs of all shapes and sizes are hugely successful on consoles.

Yes, it’s a big change for us, but after taking a minute to absorb the magnitude of this acquisition, we’re going to continue doing what we know and love: making great games. We’re going to keep trying new things. We’re going to take the same passion we’ve poured into what we do, and the passion that our community brings to the things we make, and do even better.

And soon the conversation will move on from this deal to talking about our games again. And I can get back to answering the questions that get us all excited. Tell me more about Deathloop. When can I see more Ghostwire? What’s coming in Q4 for The Elder Scrolls Online? I want to see more of the DOOM Eternal DLC. WHEN THE HELL WILL YOU TELL ME ABOUT STARFIELD? I’m excited for those conversations and look forward to talking to you about all of that—and much, much more—-in the weeks, months, and years ahead.

I believe in the people I work with. I believe in the company we have created together. I believe in the communities that have formed around the games we make. And I believe today’s announcement is just the next in a long line of changes in our history that will lead to bigger and better games for all of us.

Pete Hines SVP, Global Marketing and Communications

Todd Howard, Bethesda Softworks

I have been incredibly blessed to spend my entire career at, and help build, one of the best places to make games in the world—Bethesda.

And I’ve had the joy of doing it with some of the most talented, humble, and passionate people there are. They are part of my family, and my good friends. I have also had the pleasure of working with, and partnering with, many of the best gaming and tech companies in the world. But our longest, and closest partner during my career, has been Microsoft.

Today we join them, and I wanted to share some personal thoughts on what it means and our shared vision.

The trajectory of Xbox, and the trajectory of Bethesda, in many ways have gone hand in hand.

From our beginning, we had primarily been a PC developer. In 1999, two things happened. One, Bethesda became part of a brand-new startup—ZeniMax Media. And Microsoft started development of their first video game console—the Xbox. I can remember my first trip to Redmond to discuss the new system and bringing our next game, Morrowind, to the Xbox.

I was dubious Xbox Morrowind would be worth the time, somewhat on a technical level, but more so from taking a hardcore RPG and moving it from a PC desktop experience to a controller-and-sofa experience. If we made it work, would people want it?

Microsoft and their new Xbox crew had a view, that I came to share completely. Shouldn’t we allow anyone to have this experience? Why does it matter where the screen is or what the controller is? There are many people without the same access, and we can bring it to them.

Morrowind would go on to become one of the best-selling Xbox games of all time, behind Halo, another PC style game some said wouldn’t work. Its success paved the way for the growth of our company, and proved the point – people wanted this experience, regardless of device.

Microsoft quickly let us in on their next system, the Xbox 360. More than a PC port, our aim with our next game, Oblivion, was to usher in the next generation of gaming. With each game, from Fallout 3 to Skyrim, our studio and company grew, adding brilliant and like-minded studios across the globe. All of us sharing in the belief that expanding the reach of gaming was fundamental, whether it was on a pc, console, your phone, or the cloud.

With each new console cycle, we evolved together. From bringing mods to consoles with Fallout 4, now over a billion downloads, to the latest technologies fueling Xbox Series X/S. These new systems are optimized for the vast worlds we love to create, with generational leaps not just in graphics, but CPU and data streaming as well. It’s led to our largest engine overhaul since Oblivion, with all new technologies powering our first new IP in 25 years, Starfield, as well as The Elder Scrolls VI.

Like our original partnership, this one is about more than one system or one screen. We share a deep belief in the fundamental power of games, in their ability to connect, empower, and bring joy. And a belief we should bring that to everyone—regardless of who you are, where you live, or what you play on. Regardless of the screen size, the controller, or your ability to even use one.

We can’t think of a better group of people to do that with than those at Xbox. We have friendships that go back to those original days. From Phil to his senior leaders to developer support, they don’t just talk about putting players first, they passionately live it.

At Bethesda, we’ve been lucky enough to create games we love, and have an audience who loves them as much as we do. I have personally been humbled by the many industry honors I have received, as they belong to the entire studio. But one has always stood out to me for a special reason. When I received the Lifetime Achievement Award at GDC, I joked in my acceptance “I wonder how many achievement points this one is worth?” At the end of the ceremony, some good friends from Microsoft congratulated me and said they’d find out. A few months later I was given a code to a game they had created, named after me and locked to my account. When ran, it unlocks a single achievement – “Lifetime – 1000pts.” It still sits in my list when I check, and I smile every time.

It has been a lifetime. But there’s more to come and achievements to unlock together. We hope you join us.

All the best, Todd

Todd Howard Bethesda Game Studios

[finalheaven]

Hi guys, here’s a translation of Ayumi Ito’s interview from the newly released Material Ultimania. We also translated Sakurai Takahiro’s interview and will share it this week.

We love Ito. She is such a warm and intelligent woman, and you can tell she really loves and enjoys voicing Tifa. Did you know she took kickboxing during the recording period to better perform as Tifa?

More can be found behind the cut!

Q: Please share your reaction when you first heard that FFVII Remake would be made.

A: I couldn’t believe that they would want me to play Tifa again, and I was like, “Are you fine with me?” I was very anxious to be able to show how much I had developed, and I’m very thankful for the staff who believed in me, so I thought that I’d try my best to not go against their expectations. Actually, I asked Irino Miyu (Sora in Kingdom Hearts) who I co-starred with before, for advice to prepare for recording. I still have difficulties performing using only my voice and without using my body and expressions, so he directly taught me various techniques.

Q: What kind of performance plan did you have in mind for playing Tifa in the original FFVII story?

A: In FFVII: Advent Children, I had the impression that she was relatively anxious and seemed to watch over everyone one step away, but this time Tifa gives off an enjoyable presence and charming side to herself. For example, she giggles unintentionally at Barret and Cloud’s banter, shows a little bit of a strong stern side… There were times when they used lines when I naturally laughed when recording while listening to Barret and the others’ voices that were previously recorded.

Q: I believe this is the first time that you’ve been a VA for a whole, fully voiced RPG, so please share your thoughts during recording. 

A: I was very moved when it ended because recording took 2~3 years. Acting jobs take around 5 months at most, so it was a new experience to be able to play one role for how many years, and I was careful to not pull in from roles in other works that I was playing in parallel. Once again I felt how amazing VAs are for performing various roles at the same time.

Q: How did you try expressing Tifa’s personality which is said to be “acts cheerful but is relatively timid on the inside”?

A: While discussing with the staff, I performed each scene being quite particular in regards to how much of her delicate side should show. Shaken up, acting cheerful, or really enjoying herself; I thought over and created her emotions for those moments in detail.

Q: Please share what you kept in mind when you acted the scene where Tifa let out her emotions to Cloud in the flower field in the night before going to rescue Aerith from Shinra.

A: I actually cried while performing that scene. The thoughts that Tifa carried all came out at once and it was a very memorable speech. Usually Tifa tends to repress her feelings, and I was struggling with the subtleties of how much emotion she should speak with. So, it was easier to straightforwardly get all the feelings out.

Q: Was it tough to act being more and more tired and keep the conversation going during the scene where they climbed up the emergency staircase to the 59th floor of the Shinra building?

A: Tifa wasn’t that tired and rapidly goes on ahead, so it wasn’t that hard. Instead, it was fun to bring out Tifa’s stern side as she severely scolds Barret and Cloud who are behind her.

(Editor Notes: lockharts would like you to know Tifa is basically telling Cloud and Barret to get their shit together. 😂)

Q: What do you think about the different difficulties when acting out event scenes and battle lines?

A: While I understood in my head the kind of action, I had a hard time when it didn’t go according to what I imagined. For example, when asked for a “shout when jumping around 50m,” I imagined the kind of strength if I were to actually jump, and performed while actually putting strength into my body. Actually, I wanted to perform while feeling the physical all body movements in the fight scenes this time, so I started to learn kickboxing during the recording period. Thanks to that, I was very happy when the sound director said to me, “You were able to express Tifa’s strength more than before.”

Q: What is your most impressionable Tifa line in Remake?

A: I can’t forget the lines in the flower field scene, but my favorite is the scene where she receives a flower from Cloud who just returned to Seventh Heaven. I believe it is a very lovely scene that includes Tifa’s liking towards Cloud. Also, it was very amusing to perform the banter when meeting crossdressed Cloud at Corneo's mansion. It isn’t a line, but I personally kind of like the scene where Cloud jumps out of the train while holding her tightly (laughs).

Q: Please share if you have any unforgettable memories while recording.

A: I remember when my growling stomach was picked up by the microphones a lot, so I concentrated to somehow not let it growl (laughs). I guess other times for scenes that did not have the video completed yet, I acted while recalling Cloud and the others’ forms in the space in front of me in order to grasp the distance between me and who I was talking to. I couldn’t do it before due to my lack of technique, but now I can visualize the other characters and voice acting became even more enjoyable.

Q: After Remake, has your impression regarding Tifa changed?

A: I was able to feel a more three dimensional sense of her humanity and way of thinking. There were lines in the script that for a moment made me go, “she’d say this?” or “she’d go this far?”, but over time while recording I came to understand that “Tifa has sides when she’d say things like this”, and I was very happy that Tifa’s character was steadily fleshed out within me. 

Q: What do you think makes Tifa so appealing?

A: This is just my own interpretation, but probably how her maternal quality and strength are subtly hidden, and at her core she will “definitely see it through to protect someone”. She is reliable and you want to protect her, and I can’t describe her in one word; she’s a very endearing woman. It is a common occurrence when playing a role, but for example, if the role has a subtle personality, there’s a tendency for that to be it without depicting other characteristics. I believe that only in a game where you can spend a long time portraying a character you can feel so many different sides of her.

Q: Please share your expectations and enthusiasm for upcoming Remake projects.

A: In order for everyone to enjoy it even more, I would like to give it my all at those times. It is probably difficult to find a portrayal for everyone to understand, but I would like to get close to that level as much as possible. I’m honored to be able to play a wonderful character like Tifa, so I will continue to concentrate on expanding her appeal more deeply. 

Q: Please give a message to fans of the FFVII series.

A: My friend who is a FF fan said to me, “I’m very thankful that despite the difficult time the world is in, I was taken to a world different from reality while playing this.” There aren’t many works that can influence someone like this, and it might be presumptuous for me to say, but you can enjoy the wonderful performances of the cast, and I hope you thoroughly play through it all and look forward to the next game.

Notes:

Translated by tsubomi from FH

Edited by lockharts from FH

HQ scans provided by mayaaris from FH

Follow @finalheaven​ and @bestofcloti on Twitter for more content.

[thebellekeys]

Incoherent thoughts about A Court of Silver Flames (2021) by SJM

Do not expect this to be a critical, unbiased review at all. Eet just ease what eet ease. Spoilers ahead laddies. 

*unwanted preface* 

Okay, so like, you know those things that are neither objectively perfect nor unproblematic yet you love them and are attached to them anyway? Yeah, this is me with SJM’s writing. See, I been with Sarah and Throne of Glass since March of 2015 and with ACOTAR since the summer of 2015 when I was 13 and honestly, ACOTAR in particular occupied a decent portion of my formative teen years. Eventually, when I was about 16 I sort of ended up getting distracted from YA books and went into my thot and kpop era. A main reason for this is that I found ACOFAS particularly disenchanting. This ain’t about that book (sigh) but let’s just say as much as I was still attached to and in love with the ACOTAR world, I was still able to get very annoyed by the decreased quality of the writing and also the evident projecting Sarah was doing onto Feyre with regards to her own life and experiences (ahem). No, the lack of developed POC in the book had nothing to do with it ironically. 

So basically, since the spring of 2018 I haven’t read any SJM yet I never fell out of love with the books either. I’ve sworn off TOG after whatever the hell EOS was, but ACOTAR was always more special and close to my heart by tenfold, honestly. See, the best day of my 2016 was the day I found out ACOTAR was getting the extra 3 novels and 2 novellas. ACOFAS was a dumpster fire but I was actually surprised to really, really enjoy A Court of Silver Flames while it obviously has a couple (multiple) sus facets to it. The susness aside, I thoroughly felt at home reading Nesta’s book despite how irrational that might sound. No, I’m not here to say the book was objectively good but I’m here to say I still enjoyed it despite my love-hate relationship with SJM and her writing. :( :( :( 

That being said imma still roast tf out of a couple aspects of it. :)

*the susness*

Aight wbk that SJM like, projects a lot onto feyrhys right. I’m not even gonna deny it. Like as horrible as it sounds, when feyrhys were, like, struggling as a couple and shit in ACOMAF, that’s when I loved them the most but then the shitstorm that was ACOWAR hit and they couldn’t go without boning every two seconds or calling each other mates and shit and basically every character in the book started kissing their asses (except Nesta) to the point where they were infallibly good and powerful and everyone’s heads were lodged up their asses... I got PISSED OFF then, right.

Now, in ACOSF (is that correct?), they were side characters and, gratefully, that romance between them was toned down. But here are some things concerning feyrhys and the Court of Dreams that irked tf out of me, and the implications that they had for Nesta (who is perhaps one of the baddest bitches ever) had me feeling homicidal towards the IC:

Every single time Nesta said shit about Rhys and then Cassian got mad I wanted to SCREAM like yooo let her roast tf out of him like yeah I get Rhys lowkey did a lot for her both directly and indirectly but cmoooooon not everyone needs to be riding his dick like the man HATED Nesta from the get-go. I loved the idea that someone in the book lowkey abhors Rhys just for the TEA it gave me. Like yeah, okay Cassian, I get that he’s your bro but he can SUCK NESTA’S DICK also like my girl is a DEATH GOD.

Here me out: the Inner Circle completely dehumanized Nesta, they completely disregarded her personal autonomy and caged her in which is ironically the very behavior that was villainized when Tamlin did it to Feyre. First of all they restricted her movement, they made decisions FOR her, they withheld from her knowledge about her own powers, they decided what’s best for her and acted like she was a rabid dog the entire time. Only Cassian and Azriel seem more blameless in this regard, but the level of scorn and abohorence and moralizing Feyre, Elain, Rhys, Amren and Mor did towards Nes made my blood boil. At the end of the day, the Inner Circle did the VERY THING they hated being done to Feyre. Whatever happened to the freedom they professed? The autonomy they decided all members of their court deserved? That was all bullshit, or was this switch-up SJM’s way of creating justifiable conflict between Nesta and the Inner Circle... either way, there was no closure about this and the way they dictated Nesta’s behavior whilst completely mistreating her imo.

More on Nesta’s treatment - okay listen the way the narrative had every character acting like Nesta was fricking scum and for WHAT??? Okay, she didn’t hunt when Feyre and they were poor, she was bitchy, she hates the Fae... okay, why is Nesta still being punished for her mistakes like this by the Court? Does their forgiveness only apply to those in their clique? They’re acting like her drinking and sleeping around and her general bitchy behavior is sooooo toxic when they ALL coped with their respective trauma in questionable ways in their centuries of living. And the narrative never condemned them for this behavior either... like cmon they had an “intervention” about Nesta like if she needed to reach a certain moral standing to be lovable or something. Seems to me that only Cassian was willing to love her, bruises and all... “There’s nothing broken to be fixed. You are helping yourself. Healing the parts of you that hurt too much - and perhaps hurt others too”. But as beautiful as that it, it seems the IC see Nesta’s healing as her “redemption arc” when I never saw her as a villain or monster to begin with. They acted like she had to become deserving of their acceptance. Bullshit.

No cus more on this... Cassian is the only person who defended Nesta, the only person that wanted to help her heal and grow when everyone else wanted to fix her. He was the only person who was kind to her from the original trilogy (i.e. not counting Emerie and Gwyn). He stood up for her and I’ll gush about them in the next section, but the dynamic between Nesta and the IC was the least enjoyable aspect of the book for me. It was clear SJM wanted to spur Nesta towards the path to healing yet only figured out how to do so whilst only keeping feyrhys as the nucleus of this arc, and so she had them force Nesta into her “special journey” (because she loves them so much, cus they’re sooooo perfect right *rolls eye*), yet, the narrative didn’t quite condemn them for their toxicity towards Nesta at ALL, even towards the end. The good thing is that Nesta did not become an ass-kisser throughout the story and laud them for “helping her” every waking second. Only Cassian didn’t shun her for her inner negativity but embraced her. And Az was pretty cool too, can’t hate him.

Ahem, the ending: okay, I’m not even capping, but I hated that Nesta lost her power for feyrhys. I get that she genuinely did it out of love and shit and I’m not even gonna lie, the thought of feyrhys dying had me on the verge of tears cus as much as I hate them, I also love those bitches. Yet, the culmination of Nesta’s power was, what?, to save feyrhys. This way, the narrative put Feyre at the center of Nesta’s narrative towards the end. And Nesta lost that Death God power that she basically EARNED in that Cauldron. This is the biggest flaw of the story. She fought against her own power to give it up... for Feyre. Like??? What??? Why was that baby arc even necessary????? Why was Nesta giving up her power necessary to fulfil her healing arc which was the POINT of the book??? Like what?????? It left a sour taste in my mouth. No- an abhorrent acidic bitter taste in my mouth. 

Elain. I CANNOT STAND THIS GIRL. She completely abandoned Nesta and for WHAT??? For Feyre??? This only served to reiterate from the narrative’s POV that Nesta was scum and again, idk WHY. And also, why tf does this girl mistreat Lucien like this??? LUCIEN AKA MY FAVORITE CHARACTER???

I just don’t get how the narrative reiterated that Tamlin is the worst of the worst when you got Rhys hiding shit from Feyre, hiding knowledge of Nesta’s power from Nesta, all of that. Like, was the entire point of ACOMAF not for Feyre to embrace her power and become her best self? Rhys never for one second tolerated withholding Feyre’s power from her. So why tf does this apply to Nesta? Cus she’s unhealthy? Okay... so what??? Why villainize her like this and imply she’s undeserving of her power and a waste of life??? I’M LAUGHING SO HARD RN LIKE WHERE DID THIS EVEN COME FROM??? What did my girl do that was sooooo bad that yall needed to treat her like this. Tell me why feyre and amren and varian and rhys all acted like Tamlin in this book. Cardi voice WHAT WAS THE REASON. I AM SO MAD ABOUT THIS CUS THEY ACTED LIKE THE FRICKING MORALISING SYCHOPHANTS THEY CLAIM TO HATE.

Like bitch??? They’re like those youth pastors that reiterate how broken and messed up people with mental illness are? Acted like Nesta screwing guys was the worst thing ever when they should have embraced her? Like I get she would push them away but really??? “Waste of life”??? 

So we gon gloss over how Amren was insisting Nesta shut up about the baby business to Feyre (aka hiding shit from her)? How she was implying that Rhys should conquer all of Prythian? Hear me out, even as someone from a Caribbean country that was colonized by the whites, it actually doesn’t bother me when the theme of conquest comes up, like, this is a fantasy novel and colonization does not exist within the same context for me. That being said, like, it felt as if the narrative telling me lil Rhysie is just sooooo perfect that he needs to be High King. Like, I respect the fact that Rhys has no wish to do so. Homeboy never seemed to care for conquest beyond ensuring his Court’s prowess and safety so WHAT WAS THE REASON AMREN??? Like? What kinda crack was Amren on this entire book???

The worldbuilding... listen, the politics and history felt all over the place, felt incoherent and flat honestly. Didn’t bother me as much as it did in ACOWAR but it was just *meh*, not good. Not horrible, but not great. I preferred the world when it was directly the result of Beauty and the Beat and East of the Sun, West of the Moon.

The Fae have lost their *magic*: no cus what I loved about the first book was that the Fae were one with the Courts and felt very fleshed out in terms of their powers and shit, but now only Eric and Lucien and Tamlin and sometimes Rhys have that same magic for me. Like... the sensuality of the Fae in terms of their actual Celtic roots, that which felt whimsical and immersive in the first book, feels lost to me. I can’t explain it but I feel less nuance and orthodoxy in their portrayal. However, I DID love this one line featuring none other than the loml : “Amid the pink and white blossoms, the cold-faced Autumn Court heir looked truly faerie - as if he’d stepped out of the tree, and his one and only master was the earth itself”. LIKE I SALIVATED THAT IS MY MAN.

*good stuffs*

Okay let’s talk about the smut like I didn’t like the word choice as usual like quit with the euphemisms and say cock and goooooo. That being said like, okay, I like how she set up the physical dynamic between Nesta and Cassian cus the sex wasn’t some big romantic climactic build-up like how it was in acomaf like they were being NASTY from the get-go and I respect that drip. Like she did not cap on how porny the smut was and thank God it wasn’t some cliche romantic honeymoon type shit, like it was almost on the ao3 level of smutty goodness. All it was was missing was coarse language and hard kinks but in general, I liked the Nessian smut in this book more than the feyrhys smut in particularly ACOWAR and ACOFAS, like Nessian just do not cap.

Listen... you see that whole part when Nesta was like imagining how awesome it would be to dance Lucifer’s Bachata with Az and Cassian? Yeah, my girl just let her thoughts run wild. Like Nesta makes Feyre look naïve. Like you know how Tumblr porn in 2016 used to be with the aesthetic type shit? That’s Feyre, but Nesta is like on Pornhub level and it’s so fitting I was YELLIN lowkey. I feel like less importance was placed on how meaningful the sex and shit should be in the book and I respect that.

YOU SEE WHEN NESTA TOLD FEYRE ABOUT THE BABY!!! I WAS CHEERING HER ON. No cause they were being so nasty to Nesta especially Amren and then Feyre entered with all of her moralising shit like honey you KNOW damn well what you’re doing to Nesta is what you hate being done to you. Like damn right tell her, cus I could not STAND the double standard.

The whole training the women thing was a nice touch. It was kinda corny but also sweet. That being said, I laughed so hard when I realized how this entire book was Nesta’s quarter-life hippie rebirth where she learns to meditate and work out and read romance books and face her inner demons like this is some real New York college shit. All that was missing was a Starbucks.

Cassian. Man I love this man so much. No like he displayed peak dilf behavior. I think his attractiveness isn’t based on his bravery or his hotness but his humility man. Like he’s not a thot, he’s respectful, yet tough, yet contemplative. He’s contented with his life station yet wants to always be a better person yet is such a strong rock who really loves Nesta not despite her flaws but because they are part of her. I love the way he stood up to Rhys a lot, he didn’t shame her when she was awful to him, and he is protective (annoyingly so sometimes) but he really wanted her to empower herself. Their relationship isn’t perfect (I’m not in the mood to dissect the problematic aspects rn) but they were so sweet together and I didn’t expect to like them as much as I did back when they were lowkey a thing in ACOMAF.

The mates thing didn’t bother me cus I saw this shit coming since 2016. Yes, it’s cliche and annoying but the mates status also, like, has no meaning to me so it is what it is. Didn’t think they NEEDED to be mates but I was happy that them being mates wasn’t the core of the novel and it was secondary to Nesta’s individual healing journey.

Prepare for me to get sappy but another reason why I loved this novel was because it was a story of healing. :( :( :( The road to healing and growth in the emotional sense is always beautiful to me despite how flawed it often is when SJM writes it. I just felt really immersed in the emotional woes and eventual growth of Nesta despite my issues with the book and this is perhaps one of the main reasons that I found it beautiful, because healing as a theme is always beautiful and raw.

More of Nessian but like their relationship feels so real and raw too. No, cus like, it wasn’t tinged in as much fictitious idealism as feyrhys’ relationship was. They weren’t all stupidly in love and seeing each other in the universe and shit, like they just made each other happy and weren’t portrayed as the perfect soulmates who were each other’s yin and yang and whatever thank the LORD. Them having each other’s back was enough and ughhhh Cassian was just so sweet and such a good trainer and so aloof yet passionate like I been waiting to see more of him since ACOMAF so yayyy.

Okay... that scene where Rhys kneels to Nesta and she embraces him. yes. YES YES YES YES YES that shit was the shit that made my year like I want this man to be in her debt for the end of time like this hoe saved yall like big strong high lord better bow to the “witch” like I could hear angelic choirs at that scene like Rhys doesn’t just yield to people so easily so like, it was just kinda epic okay. Little bitchass Rhys with his perfect little river house and emo boi clothes stfu hoe.

No cus I love how Nesta told Cassian she didn’t wanna hear about Feyre’s special journey or Rhys’s special journey or Mor’s like I got fed up of people acting like they epitomized “good” and the “good path” to self-discovery when they can choke on a baguette as far as I am concerned.

*shit no one except me probs cares about*

Eris. So here is the thing. Since 2015 in ACOTAR when Eris was Under the Mountain being all red-headed and cunning and sexy and evil I have been obsessed with him... well, the idea of him I had in my head and how delectably abhorrent he seems (I like villains and side-characters okay). Maybe it was just his name (Eris is a hot name shut up) or the idea of a rich, cunning fox-faced prince in the same universe appealed to me. Either way, I actually never expected by favorite cameo-character to become... important. I’ll die on the hill of loving him. Here is the thing... I don’t want him to be good, in the same way I did not want Rhys to be a good guy in ACOTAR either. I don’t need him to be a secret angel, I don’t need him to be sweet and good like Rhys always was apparently. Honestly, I want him corrupt but likeable and pertinent to the story. That being said, I really want him as the main character for one of the upcoming novels sooo bad like please PLEASE let me see the autumn court and it’s two-facedness please like if not Eris then Lucien as the main character please.

Lucien... aka my fave character since the first book man. Mannn, SJM does homeboy so dirty like I have always loved Russian fables and hence, I am so ready for Lucien x Vassa x Jurian in the Vasilisa retelling with the firebird trope and Koshei. NO CUS in 2018 I was finna write a 100k word fic about this but then I forgot about it no cap, I still have the story plan in my Onenote actually but let us not reminisce. See, my ao3-loving ass wants an angsty poly relationship and also a hot Koshei I have been waiting YEARS for this you hoes, ever since Elain got the premonition of Vassa as a firebird in ACOWAR like God please please please give it to me and make it feyrhys-less as well yasss.

I lowkey wanna suspect Eris is gay and Mor, also gay, knows and that’s why she lowkey kinda tolerates him now. Yet, I cannot be sure and yeah I just wanna say that I kinda want that arc lmfaooo (my ao3-self is showing shut up).

No cus I was TEASED by only seeing a glimpse of Vassa and Jurian but THEY SHALL HAVE THEIR TIME I KNOW IT.

Tamlin living as a beast is so interesting to me. He’s a side-character now but ughhhh he was so mystical and interesting as our good ole Beauty and the Beast beastie like it’s sooooo mysterious and alluring how he’s becoming his own villainous legend like I still care about Tamlin’s blond ass self despite everything. 

Give us the snowball fight scene you coward.

I just gotta say Nessian could outsmut Feyrhys any day and that makes me proud.

FRICKING AZRIEL like first of all Mor doesn’t NEED to come out until she’s ready but she gotta let the man down nicely some other way so he can move on. I do not like Elain. Never did. I still do not. I do not, frankly, want a whole novel where she and Azriel fall in love and she rejects Lucien like... okay, I DO want her to reject Lucien so he can be with Vassa at the very least but also I am not interested in Elain’s POV rn. BUT I WANT AZ’S POV AND LIKE WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO I WANT MY EMO BOI TO BE HAPPY. This is so frustrating cus Az is a walking DILF right and so, what am I supposed to do now.

I kinda miss the Spring Court just a little. It’s pretty shut up. It got that Zuhair Murad fashion too. 

Umm like, what the hell is up with that business with Helion being Lucien’s dad? We need more on this which is why I want a Lucien POV book goddammit.

Yoooooooo yall remember that bitch from ACOWAR who hybern was finna kill and she had a name and everything and then there was some foreshadowing and shit? What’s up with her? Like I can’t even remember her name lowkey but yeah what’s up with that. Was it something like Briar or Briannon or somthing???

Is Mor getting a book? Like deadass I need the Lucien and Vassa book, I need the Eris book, I need the Mor book and I need the Azriel book. Damn. Been waiting 6 years for some of this shit.

Okay that is all for now. Yes, this book has problematic elements at every level but I still loved it yet also hated some things about it. I won’t read House of Blood and Earth nor will I finish the TOG series but I guess I’ll stick with this series which remains near and dear to my soul despite what people gotta say about it. It made me happy and that’s what matters. Nesta is a huge ass inspiration to me as a character and I still wanna see her make the Inner Circle’s life a living hell uwu. I admittedly got HELLA emotional reading this story because it’s nonetheless super meaningful to me even at age 19 and it’s really powerful for me as a comfort book, and I look forward (a little) to what this woman put out next... sort of.

Signing off! Don’t @ me (okay you CAN @ me but idc).

[juiceboxman]

Thoughts on the Snyder Cut of Justice League

Watched the Snyder Cut a few days ago, here are my thoughts. SPOLIERS AHEAD:

1) Characters are presented WAY better. Batman is less goofy, Wonder Woman has more kick ass scenes, as does Aquaman. Snyder REALLY got Mera right, woman straight up nearly gave Steppenwolf an aneurism which I applaud Snyder for showing because it shows how much of a BOSS Mera is. Cyborg has an actual story arc which is great. Flash is still quite awkward but he has a good heart so once you get used to his awkwardness he’s pretty good

2) All the footage is original Snyder film plus reshoots he done. You can tell which is reshoots depending on quality of CGI and Green Screen. Martian Manhunter was very obviously one of these editions, which I’ll get to later. Most of Whedon’s scenes are gone, which is good for the most part cause outside of the ethical issues that taints those films with Whedon’s behaviour on set, they just straight up conflict with the tone. So less quippy jokes and weird creepy scenes (like the one where Martha was talking how Clark referred to Lois as “the thirstiest girl he’s ever known” like...have you met Clark Kent? What on gods green earth would make you think he would say ANYTHING like that let alone to his MOTHER??? Also that weird scene where Flash was lying on top of Wonder Woman, cause Whedon is weird) however there was one scene (with Bruce and Diana touching the mouse at the same time) which felt quite Whedony. One scene I would have liked to see that would have gotten kept in was Batman’s whole “save one person” speech to Flash. Think that solidified Batman as a veteran hero and makes him look like a person who actually wants to help people rather than punch people, which a lot of batman writers tend to forget to mark on. Without that, nobody gives Flash any guidance in this film and I was disappointed in that

3) Cyborg was great. His powers are clearly and well defined, honestly the way Zac presented his abilities made this dude look super scary. But he has a good heart and Ray Fisher CRUSHES IT. Honestly when Victor teared up in the car with his mum, I was sold. Like this big charismatic quarterback being brought to tears...you just don’t see that in a lot of films, with men typically being presented so stoic and tough. I’m glad we got to see that. Fisher is a fantastic actor and I’m happy he got way more scenes in this movie. Hope to see his Cyborg show up again some day

4) Movie looks stunning. Snyder really has a great visual style. Like the whole scene where Vic is playing football is just gorgeous. Also the Flash’s powers look really cool, love his running scenes

5) I don’t think Martian Manhunter should have been in the movie. Narratively doesn’t really fit and it creates some serious plot issues within the universe. Questions like “why didn’t he do anything in MoS?” Or “why didn’t he do anything in BvS?” having him in this movie kind of feels off. Like how he imitated Martha to give Lois a pep talk, like thats a very serious moment for Lois- do you not think she’s going to bring that up with the real Martha??? Also, the ending with Martian Manhunter was just so weird. Like just showing up to say “Good job, Bruce. Oh, here’s my superhero name. Call me!” felt quite fan servicey and the CGI for him looked bad imo. Think in future should try full body makeup if they wanna do Manhunter in the future

6) I don’t think the Cut had to be four hours, there was just a lot of pretty shows, a lot of slow motion (seriously, like way too much slow motion. Reminds me of that bit from Garth Mangenari’s Darkplace where they talk about how because episodes were 8 minutes shorter than they should have been they just made everything non dialogue slow motion to drag out the time) and a lot of information is repeated. Think with a good editor this could be cut down to three hours, which I think would make a more concise and better film

7) Villain’s are more compelling. Steppenwolf is more interesting, we actually get to see some Darkseid and I think Snyder does a great job at showing the threat level they pose. Also actually gives a reason why Darkseid is interested in conquering earth, which is pretty neat. All in all the lore in the movie is pretty tight

8) I don’t buy how Superman will turn evil. Like you’re telling me this good little farmer’s boy loses his fiancee and then decides to nuke the world? Nah, I don’t buy it. I would however have bought it if the resurrected Superman showed some emotional development complications. Which I initially thought they were going for as Clark had issues remembering who he was, but after five minutes he was back to normal so crisis averted. Shame cause I think that would have been interesting, see a Clark Kent who on paper is the same guy but now he has no empathy. Would have been really tragic and would have shown the price of ressurection

9) I would have liked an explanation in the movie as to why Superman had a black suit. I know Snyder has said in interviews about how the suit is a call back to his homeworld, because at the time of its destruction everyone was basically dressed in black. However there’s no explanation as to why t is this case in the movie. In the comics, Superman had to wear the black suit because it was part of the ressurection procedure. Not so much in the movie, another case of fan service that didn’t make much sense

10) Epilogue stuff was interesting. At that point in the end I felt like Zac was just pitching movies. We get Ben Affleck’s Batman movie with Deathstroke. We get this super weird apocalypse movie with a rag tag justice league which I would honestly love to see. Also throughout the movie you get a lot of set up for the Flash’s movie, referencing the time stuff so I think that if the Flash movie ever gets out of development hell it’ll be Flashpoint. A lot of it did feel a tad fan servicey. Snyder said he put the joker in there at the end cause Ben and Jared never played off one another, seeing them on screen together I think Jared is definitely the perfect Joker for Affleck’s Batman. Think he could dial it down a little- like don’t be sending used condoms or rats to you co-stars please and then years later denying you ever did that shit

All in all, the movie was too long but I found myself enjoying it quite a lot. Fare better than the Frankenstein movie Whedon and WB cut together four years ago. I really don’t think they should have rushed into Death of Superman story so quick, or try to rush into a shared universe quite like in BvS either. That said if you don’t like Snyder’s style, you’ll probably not like the film. I personally like his style and I really enjoyed it, though I can admit it is a bit flawed.

Its actually quite remarkable that this movie got made in the first place. I think if it wasn’t for the massive fan pushback and the fact that a worldwide pandemic occurred, this movie would have still been a pipe dream. I don’t think we’re getting any of the movies pitched in Snyder’s epilogue. 

Like this movie going to streaming is not going to break even the $70 million dollars pumped into it and the audience that wanted this movie in the first place is too small to justify making more movies like this. There’s also the fact that WB put little to no money in marketing for the movie, so they’re trying to bury it for whatever reason. Like most people had no idea this movie was happening, but they know about all the Star Wars and the Marvel Shows. That’s bad marketing and you can’t help but feel its deliberate

In conclusion, I really liked the movie. I thought Zack did a great job under the circumstances and I’m glad he got to finish it. I know he had to step back because of a family tragedy so I’m really happy he got to finish his movie

[mydecoris]

CBD For Yoga Practitioners and Sportsmen

Although CBD and CBD based products might look like new kid on the block, its usage can be traced back to ancient times in India where it still can be found growing wildly in most parts of the northern mountains & plains.

It is true that there have been many misconceptions regarding Hemp and CBD mostly because they come from rather notorious Marijuana plant but after some recent researches it can be said with some authority today that most of them are unfounded. It is especially true in case of CBD because it doesn’t contain the properties of giving that ‘high’ to its consumer because that power belongs to its cousin called THC (Tetrahydrocannabinols).

CBD today is therefore legal to buy and sell in many countries around the world and that includes India too provided the THC content in the product is less than .3%. And Marijuana is one of the most versatile plant ever known, it can be used in several ways- from creating different psychoactive products from its flowers and leaves, to weaving clothes from the yarn obtained from its stem to building houses out of its sturdiness. Its cousin industrial hemp is already getting cultivated in large scale in different parts of the world.

Oil extracted from its seeds called hemp seed oil can be used in a variety of ways- from cooking to dressing of salads and what not. Same is true for CBD oil. In combination with other carrier oil such as MCT or coconut oil, a lot of CBD oil based products are being manufactured today that include various therapeutic oils, soaps, ointments, shampoos, bath essentials, skincare and various related and diverse products.

CBD is also available in raw or dewaxed form as tinctures and oils in diverse flavours and it is known to cure various ailments such as anxiety, depression, acute & chronic pains and inflammations, seizures, epilepsy, autism etc. among many others. In recent times, there is a lot of research that has taken place on the miraculous effects of CBD but there’s a lot more that needs to be done.

But still, going by anecdotal references and certain recent researches, it can prove to be very useful for people who lead an active life, people such as sportsmen and Yoga instructors and practitioners or those suffering from certain ailments.

So let us  delve a bit deeper in the mysterious world of CBD:

Basics Of CBD:

There are cannabinoids that are found in CBD. They are naturally occurring compounds found in the Cannabis Sativa plant. CBD or Cannabidiol is the phytocannabinoid found naturally in the plant and unlike THC that is also found in the same plant, is not psychoactive. And another fact is, cannabinoids also exist in our body.

Scientists have identified what they call the endocannibinoid system (ECS) that modulates the activity of neurons. Recent researches prove that

the consumption of CBD could increase the activity of our body’s existing endocannabinoid system.

The primary purpose of the ECS appears to be maintaining homeostasis, which it does by keeping neurotransmitter levels in check. Being a Yoga practitioner and an athlete we apply greater stress to our body and it sometimes lead to pain and inflammation greater than what our endocannabinoid system can handle. Adding exogenous CBD may help this overloaded system get our neurotransmitters back under control and help us in maintaining homeostasis.

6 Benefits of CBD for Athletes and Yoga Practitioners

It relieves Pain

Studies have shown that CBD is effective for reducing pain, including musculoskeletal pain from exercise or Yoga, as well as stiff joints.Though there is little research on CBD alone it does appear to relieve pain effectively for many active people.

It is an alternative to NSAIDs

Over-the-counter non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) like ibuprofen have widely been used by athletes for decades, but researches have shown that they are not safe.So athletes are typically advised to avoid NSAIDs during sessions and events, as long-term or frequent use of NSAIDs may increase our risk for heart attack and stroke.

Some athletes have found the pain relieving effect of CBD can reduce or eliminate their use of NSAIDS for exercise-related pain, with minimal side effects.

It is an alternative to Opioids

Opioid pain medications (i.e. morphine, codeine, oxycontin) are highly effective for pain management, but carry a significant risk of addiction and death by overdose. Cannabinoids are not as effective as opioids for relieving acute, high-intensity pain, but may be effective for long-term pain management – either alone or in conjunction with other medications – with far less risk of dependence or accidental death.

It reduces inflammation

A little bit of inflammation can be good for athletes and help stimulate positive training adaptations. Too much inflammation hinders recovery and hurts performance. Researches have shown that there are CB2 receptors in both the brain and periphery, but they are more concentrated in immune tissues. Cannabinoids binding to CB2 receptors may have an anti-inflammatory effect by reducing cytokine (cell messengers) production. In other words, CBD bound to CB2 receptors help dial down the response when our immune system sounds the alarm after hard workouts.

It Settles our gut

Inflammation in the small and large intestines causes a lot of discomfort, and our gut problems can be enhanced during or after a session or training. Although CBD won’t solve our stomach problems that may arise from dehydration and overheating (two major causes in athletes and Yoga trainers), but if we have underlying inflammation issues that contribute to gut problems during or after exercise, CBD may be effective for reducing our symptoms.

It improves Sleep Quality

Getting more and better sleep is one of the most effective ways an athlete can achieve greater training gains. It is equally true for a Yoga practitioner. Anecdotally, those who consume CBD report greater ease going to sleep and a more restful night’s sleep. CBD is found to slow down brain activity, helping us feel calmer, and induce sleep.

Also,CBD may also have a potent anti-anxiety effect for some people, which can help them get to sleep and have more restful sleep.

How to use CBD

New CBD-containing products can be found all over the internet market these days. You can get CBD in the form of capsules, pills, or as an oil or tincture.  It has been infused into sports drinks, recovery drinks, and all manner of edibles. There are also topical creams and lotions that contain CBD oil, as well as oil drops that can be placed under your tongue.

How you consume CBD may affect how quickly you experience its effects. Capsules, oil, and edibles have to be digested, so they may take a bit longer. Topical creams are said to be quicker than edibles, and sublingual drops/tinctures are said to be the most rapid in showing any effect.

CBD is available as “full spectrum” or “isolate”. Full spectrum CBD products contain CBD and other compounds found in the original plant, which could include small amounts of THC. If the CBD was derived from industrial hemp, the THC content of the original plant is legally supposed to be less than .3%. Products that contain CBD isolate should only contain CBD. CBD isolate and CBD produced from hemp would be a better choice for those who want to play safe.

How much CBD to use

Actually, there is no standard dose that delivers a consistent effect for all people. CBD products are not well regulated, so there can be inconsistencies in how much CBD is in a product. And depending on how you consume CBD (oil, gummy bear, cookie, recovery drink, tincture), it can be difficult to be precise. The most precise way to consume CBD is probably through capsules, or by calculating how many milligrams of CBD are in a given volume (such as ml.) of a tincture or oil.

Companies that produce and sell CBD products recommend starting with a low dose and gradually increasing it based on the effects you experience.

Conclusion

The emergence of cannabidiol could mark a major turning point in how athletes and Yoga practitioners recover from training stress and manage both occasional and chronic pain. But still, there is a lot still to learn about how CBD works and how to best utilize for a physically active person. That is not unusual, though. Back when carbohydrate-rich sports drinks first came out, it was clear they were helping improve performance even if the formulas weren’t perfect and the mechanisms weren’t all known.

Although it is not a banned substance for athletes and people in general, if it actually contains a significant amount of THC or other prohibited substance, you are at risk for a doping violation. As with anything else, it will be up to you to research and find a reputable brand.

With what we know at this point, CBD offers good potential benefits and few risks. If it improves recovery as a pain reliever, anti-inflammatory, and sleep aid, then it has great potential to improve athletic performance and treat various elements.

On our part, we have a collection of CBD oils and CBD & hemp products that are produced by most reputable companies with good track record and most positive reviews. You can buy various CBD and Hemp products from HERE.

As some of the CBD oils also contain THC in various measures, you need to have a doctor’s prescription to buy the same. You can book a Doctor’s appointment on Decoris from HERE and go ahead to buy CBD as prescribed from HERE.

[alazyamateurgamedev]

Inaugural Post

I’m going to ramble a bit about some basics of game design on a far too philosophical level, but I think it is something to consider if you are considering game design.   I end up feeling like this is something developers end up ignoring when they develop their games. For this particular rant, I’m going to focus mostly on video games, since by and large, they don’t have to involve other people, which makes the overall experience much different.  So as I refer to gaming below, think mostly of video games, but I also think it still applies to all kinds of game design.

First of all, games are, by my definition at least, a form of art.  This is at the core of a lot of my musings about gaming, and it supplies the main challenge in making something good.  Sure, they have an extremely technical requirement in terms of making it, but it is still basically a form of art.  I’m sure a lot of people who don’t get gaming would say “Oh its not art!”, but really the goal with a game is to achieve some sort of emotional response (IE Fun, joy, fear, etc) or possibly intellectual response (IE “Let me stop and think about this), and that is all I think any artist who is trying to achieve. In this particular case, I am defining an artist as anyone who creates some sort of creative work, and can include art, literature, music, movies, architecture, etc.  Medium is not important in this context.

Now, I am also going to focus on the idea that a game designer wants to try to a) Share their game with anyone interested and b) make money.  Now, there are many reasons to make art, and some of them don’t involve public exposure, for example, painting or drawing as a form of therapy.  If that is the case, this discussion isn’t targeted at you.  In completing your project, you have hopefully achieved what you wanted.  So if you are designing and building a game for some personal reason with no real intention of exposing it to the public, then this does not apply to you.  However, I presume most people who publish a video game are trying to achieve something else like making money, accolades of people, or just sharing something they think is fun.  The first two may seem self-serving, but I don’t think it is wrong.  You should get credit for the work you put into something.

Because it is a form of art, that makes creating something “Good” much, much more difficult.  In engineering, you can pretty often easily define “good”.    Your basic goal with a non-artistic product (say a refrigerator) is to make something that does what is expected (It keeps the inside cold at a fixed temperature), and mainly to do it for a profit.   So, you can define your general goals pretty easily, and then test against them to know “Hey I did a good job” or “It does a bad job”. Things like “Does the temperature stay constant while it is running?” “Does it stay on?” and “Do the doors fall off if I open them too much?” are all things you can define and test against.  This is a bit of an over-simplification, as the appearance of your fridge is quite important and subjective and also because it isn’t always easy to define what parameters are acceptable, or how to define the parameters, or how to test for them, but hopefully that doesn’t happen to you as an engineer, or if it does, that is why you are paid the big bucks.  

Now, this long-winded explanation leads to why gaming is hard to design.  At the core of almost any game is the idea that it should be “fun”. But it is extremely hard to define “Fun”.  What is fun? As a baby, sucking on your toes could be considered fun, but most of you probably do not consider it fun now.  Some people think hiking or running is fun, but I do not.  So fun is different to different people, and different to the same person at different times.  This means you have an impossible to define goal post when trying to design a game, at least from an engineering standpoint.  I bring this up, because this is probably why you see major AAA game publishers publish substandard products, and sometimes why you see Kickstarter funded games take 3 extra years to develop (more on Kickstarter in future rants). For a software company, the company’s goal is to make money, and so to make a profit, they will need to sell enough copies of the game to cover the cost to develop it.  Part of that cost basically boils down to time, since it costs money to pay employees, and the more time you take to develop a game, the more it costs the company, and the more copies they need to sell.  

This is just an educated guess (I’m lazy, so I’m not going to do any research on this, but I’m sure it exists), but I expect many of the “Terrible flops” were actually the company defining some sort of timeline for the game’s development that ended up not working out. They either skimped on Quality Assurance (QA, also known as testing) and the game didn’t work right, or they skimped on development, and so the gameplay just wasn’t good.  Sometimes, it is just a flawed design, and you figure that out too late, and you’ve already sunk a ton of money and time into the project and need to decide what to do about it.  Do you go forward with a crappy design or do you go ahead and release a substandard product in hopes that you can make some of your money back?  Most larger companies will choose the latter, because they need to stay in business.  A handful do not, and they are interesting cases:  Blizzard before they merged with Activision and Valve.  Both were notorious for not releasing games quickly, and I think you can see the polish in the Diablo and Warcraft (But not World of Warcraft) series, as well as the Half-Life series.  I made the possible mistake of playing Half-Life Alyx before any other VR game, and its beautifully defined controls have spoiled me as compared to other similar VR titles.  However, I’m pretty sure they worked on that for ages before releasing it as perfect as they could.  However, they have loads and loads of cash and can wait.  Looking at Cyberpunk 2077, to me that looked like they ran out of testing time, and thus why it was such a buggy launch, despite the delays, and they were forced to launch.  Finally, I expect the entire lack of tangible Diablo 4 news is because they think they are missing some major component to make it what they want it to be.

My overall point on all of this is that it can take time to develop something fun, especially something that can be as complex as a game.  And on top of that, a game has technical challenges that other forms of art do not.  Not only do you have to create a fun system, but you have to make it work, and do it in a visually and acoustically engaging way.  So not only do you have to make the Art, sounds, story, gameplay, but you also have to make sure it all works right.  There are some ‘shortcuts’ you can take, like using established game engines (Like the Unreal Engine or Unity) so you don’t have to invent from the ground up, but that both adds cost and a possibly restrictive framework to work in.  

Now, you are probably asking why am I rambling about all of this?  This goes back to what I was originally rambling about, which is why are you making a game.  You are probably aiming for your game to be well received, and either make some money off it, or at the very least, get good reviews and encouragement.  So my point is if you wish to be successful, please make sure your game is, at the core, fun.  If, after you make it, you look back on it and think “I would never play this.” Or “I’d be bored with this after two minutes”, you probably didn’t do a good job. Most of this blog will probably revolve around this idea of what is (and isn’t) fun, so I hope you’ll keep reading it. If you take anything away from it, I think you should aim to make a game that is fun to the audience you want it to be fun for, but just remember that the more restrictive your audience, the less successful game you probably will have, and really to make sure your game is, in fact, fun.  

[sinceileftyoublog]

New Bums Interview: Married Couple Vibe

BY JORDAN MAINZER

Unlike the mathematical approach of Six Organs of Admittance or the wound jangly pop of Skygreen Leopards, Ben Chasny and Donovan Quinn’s New Bums is like its name: contemporary slacker vibes, loose playing, easy, gorgeous tunes. The band’s first record, Voices in a Rented Room, came out in 2014, and almost immediately afterwards, they started recording its follow-up. It wouldn’t be released until this March, as the more layered but just as lackadaisical Last Time I Saw Grace (Drag City). Both Chasny and Quinn write songs, and each plays off the other one’s style as much as presenting their own. For instance, on the energetic “Oblieration Time”, which juxtaposes soloing and acoustic strumming, Chasny attempted to write lyrics like Quinn. As for Quinn’s lyrics, more generally, Chasny’s instrumentation shifts them. “One of the great things about songwriting [is] the way the lyrics come across versus what they actually mean,” Quinn said on a Zoom call earlier this year with me and Chasny. “The same words can be funny, sad, [or] ironic depending on the instrumentation behind [them]. It’s really fun to see what Ben does.” Chasny agrees that instrumentation matters, not citing a general philosophy but rather a YouTube video with almost 10 million views that overlays a scene of Darth Vader visiting the Death Star with a snippet of Spandau Ballet’s “True”.

Indeed, the buddy quality of New Bums shines through when they’re in the same room--even a virtual one. They laugh and play with each other and finish each other’s sentences, having been friends for a long time. But such a laid-back feeling wouldn’t be possible without each member’s distinct personalities. Chasny, knowing I was set to interview Chris Corsano later that day about his and Bill Orcutt’s excellent Made Out Of Sound, had me communicate an inside joke to Corsano, with whom he shares a band, Rangda. (The joke? Telling Corsano that he should make a pack of beats called “Chris Corsano’s Breakbeats,” to which Corsano cackled and replied, “You’ve been talking to Chasny.”) Chasny’s also self-deprecating: “I’m not a very good violin player, but the last song has me on the violin,” he shrugs about Last Time’s “Follow Them Up the Slope”. And he forgets the titles of the songs, facetiously chalking it up to the album’s lyrical themes of decay. Quinn, simply, is humble and go-with-the-flow.

Underneath it all are some serious aesthetic and instrumental chops from the both of them, a mix of guitars, harmonium (the circular “So Long, Kus”), violin, and keyboards. Opener “Billy, God Damn” is twangy and layered. “Onward to Devastation” features tasty riffing following the lilting folk of “Marlene Left California”. “Wild Dogs” shimmers, while “Hermitage Song” stuns with deep string textures. All in all, Chasny and Quinn talk about these songs with the same exuberance they do their other projects, or music by Corsano and Orcutt, or even legendary records by 90′s German drone artists. Music fans make music makers, and music bums never fade.

Read my conversation with them below, edited for length and clarity.

Since I Left You: What’s unique about Last Time I Saw Grace as compared to Voices in a Rented Room?

Donovan Quinn: I think both of the records come from the same place. A buddy record is the way I would put it, where it grew out of me and Ben in a room, playing two guitars, talking about ideas and records we admired. This one, we built the songs up a little bit more, added some layers to the songs with overdubs, and really added some depth to a lot of the compositions with vocal and guitar work and different synths, whereas the first one we tried to keep it as barebones as possible.

Ben Chasny: Yeah. I would say the first one was more slopdog, like a mutt running wild, and this one isn’t showdog level, but trimming up the dog a little bit, teaching it a couple tricks.

SILY: Maybe album 3 will be showdog. 

BC: Yeah. I think it’ll probably take a poop right in front of everybody, but it will still be up there.

SILY: Those layers are what I noticed from the get-go, on [opener] “Billy. God Damn”. Is that why you decided to have it first on the record and release it ahead of time?

BC: We ran through a number of sequences on the record. It just felt like a good one to start out with. There are definitely more vocal layers on this than the other record we did for sure.

DQ: Yeah, I don’t have a clear memory of recording a lot of these songs because we did it over a long period of time, and “Billy God Damn” is one of those songs. I think we put it first because it set a good tone for the rest of the record.

SILY: The sequencing definitely struck me. It goes back and forth between more up-tempo tracks like “Obliteration Time Two” and more lilting tracks like “Marlene Left California”. Is that something you had in mind when ultimately deciding on the order of the tracks?

BC: I think so, yeah, trying to balance it out without having one of the sides of the records being too much one direction.

SILY: I love records like this where the palate is mostly vocals and guitars but you throw in a wildcard like the harmonium, or the cello on “Street of Spies”. It makes those songs stand out.

DQ: “Street of Spies” has our buddy Jason Quever on cello who has a band called Papercuts. I work a lot with Jason and he was kind enough to put some cello on that one.

BC: He did the drums and some of the strings on the first record, too.

SILY: You could say the whole album has a loose quality, but on that song especially, you kept the false start and the countdown from the live recording.

DQ: We do like that kind of sketchbook vibe with our records.

BC: [laughs] I have a feeling I know what you’re gonna say, Donovan.

DQ: I’m not gonna say what you think I’m gonna say...Me and Ben have known each other for so long, it’s a married couple vibe where we know what the other person is gonna say or is thinking...With the way you can record records now, it’s pretty easy to really get things lined up and cleaned up. We thought with New Bums, it would be kind of a nice contrast to not do that, to keep things a little bit frayed.

SILY: It goes with the aesthetic suggested by the band name, too.

DQ: Yeah, exactly.

SILY: Did anything inspire the lyrics specifically?

DQ: Not anything specifically, but over time, both me and Ben writing, we kind of developed a sense of a type of record lyrically, and it seemed to be a lot of songs about decay and certain kinds of desperation. We built from that, not totally consciously, but everything seemed to gravitate towards it.

BC: I will say, when I wrote some of the lyrics to the song “Obliteration Time”, I was actually trying to write songs like Donovan’s band Skygreen Leopards, and I was hoping he would pick up on it. I was like, “Did you pick up on it?” He was like, “No, I didn’t at all.” That was what I was trying to do.

SILY: In some ways, you still have a ways to go in your marriage, then.

BC: Yeah, a lot of ways.

SILY: What were you going for on the first line of “Street of Spies”, “Who gives a fuck about clemency?”

DQ: You know, I don’t remember. And when we were listening back to different vocal takes, there was one that was so unusually angry for me that Ben was saying I sounded like Rage Against the Machine or something, so we changed it. I don’t know. It’s just meant to have the language contrast the mellow vibe of the song. I like that style when if you have a mellow song with lyrics that contradict that feel.

SILY: What’s the inspiration behind the album title?

BC: It’s a line [on the album]. When you listen to [the] song, you realize it’s the name of a woman, Grace, but in context on the front of the record, it has a different meaning, which we thought would be kind of fun. You listen to the record, and you realize, “Ah, I see what they’re talking about.” 

DQ: That was kind of a last-minute title. I think we got lucky with it. It fits really well with the kind of themes developed in the record: decay, desperation, etc.

SILY: Is Grace a real person or just a character?

Both: Just a character.

SILY: What’s the inspiration behind the cover art?

BC: Donovan had the concept behind the art.

DQ: We were gonna see if anyone noticed this, but if you look at the first cover and the second cover, it’s basically the same elements, but we took things away. The first one has the two triangles, and it’s pictures of me and Ben, and this one doesn’t have any pictures. The idea is for every album to have the same basic design that takes elements away to eventually have nothing at all.

SILY: What are you gonna lose on the next one? One of the triangles?

BC: Possibly. That’s when I get kicked out of the band.

SILY: Or it’s self-titled, and you can use New Bums as the band and the title.

DQ: The other day, something cool happened that reminded me of the cover and the two triangles. It doesn’t totally work, but I did this video that heavily references ZZ Top. For the video, we bought a couple of ZZ Top magical keychains, and I was trying to open a box with it, but the fucking thing broke! But the two extreme points of the keys broke off, and what’s left looks a lot like the two triangles.

BC: The original record cover from the first record was based on one of my favorite records, pretty much a tribute to it, a band called The Black Vial. He did a record called Frozen Morning in maybe the mid-90s. He did 300 of them, this German guy, Liebried Loch. They were wrapped in black electric tape, and that’s what held the photograph on. This really gorgeous looking record, one of the most dark, depressing records I’ve ever heard in my life. It’s just droning on electric guitar on a practice amp, really distorted, singing songs like, “Black crows, flying no more!” We based the original artwork off that record and then modified it.

SILY: Have you thought about doing a live stream or socially distant show?

BC: We should try to figure out how to do it together. We still have to figure out Zoom. We may not do Zoom a lot. We’re more Google. We know technology.

SILY: You’re not Luddites?

BC: We have most of our meetings on Google Hangouts. 

DQ: New Bums has a lot of meetings, and we spend a lot of time together, so it’s surprising it’s taken us 5 years to do two albums and two tours. 

BC: We do have some great video footage from that tour a couple years back filmed at a bookstore in San Francisco called Adobe Books, and I think we’re gonna put that out for people to check out.

SILY: Were some of the songs from this record performed there?

BC: Yeah, we [did] “Cover Band”.

SILY: Anything you’ve been listening to, watching, or reading lately that’s caught your attention?

DQ: I’ve been watching a lot of movies more than anything else. I have the Criterion Channel service, so I’ve been finding a lot of inspiration in that. I was just recommending the movie Close-up to Ben, if you want to feel that doing any kind of artistic endeavor might have some meaning, it’s worth it.

BC: I’ve been watching a lot of Poirot. That guy’s great. His relationship with Hastings is quite similar to Donovan and me, though I won’t say who is Poirot and who’s Hastings.

Last Time I Saw Grace by New Bums

[davidmann95]

What'd be the current ranking of KH games for you?

Haven’t played the assorted X mobile games or Dark Road, otherwise:

9. Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance

The only Kingdom Hearts game I got kinda bored with and stopped playing in the middle of for awhile (other than Chain of Memories, but that’s not the same because there I was stuck on Captain Hook, this I just plain lost interest in). The gameplay is slick enough, but that barely matters in the face of the at first unbelievably frustrating and later unbelievably tedious Drop mechanic, and more importantly, it steals what needed to be several subplots and reveals threaded through Kingdom Hearts III proper and crams them into the retread climactic world here, stretching out an entire game worth of padding before getting there. This ranks at the bottom because it’s the only one I can earnestly say the series would be better without.

8. Kingdom Hearts: 358/2 Days

This has a lot going against it; the gameplay’s pretty tepid (though I do appreciate that different weapons have different combo strings for once), the mission structures while initially inventive by series standards become repetitive, there’s a lot of it I simply can’t recall, and it’s the only one in the series where I’d say you do in fact outright have to read the Ultimania guides and interviews to entirely get what’s going on. But it redefines the role of the antagonists in the narrative for the better and gives the series some of its most heartbreaking moments and characters, so it’s definitely not the worst.

7. Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories

There is a very real argument to be made that Chain of Memories has the best story of the lot - I wouldn’t make it, but it’s there to be made - but god, the cards were A Mistake. Also in its PS2ification Riku’s big badass line in the final battle against Ansem, possibly the coolest moment in any of these games, is turned into a complete groaner, and Axel no longer says hell, so that docks it major points.

6. Kingdom Hearts: Coded

Underappreciated! The story’s thin at best, but it still does some interesting, inventive things with what space it’s allotted, the dialogue is conspicuously a league above its brethren, and for my money it has the best gameplay in the series.

5. Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep

Had to put on my thinking cap as to whether this came out ahead of the next entry, but I decided in the end that there’s fairly little in here I remember prior to the run-up to the finale, Terra’s voice actor is painfully phoning it in, and the upgrade/ability system here is the absolute pits. Still, said finale is gangbusters, the overall arc of the conflict and its major players are defined here, and upgrades aside the command deck system was brilliant.

4. Kingdom Hearts

The original has aged awkwardly in the ways such things always do, but it remains likely the best-paced, the emotions and ideas it digs into remain palpable enough to propel the story forward almost 20 years later, its platforming remains much-missed, and there’s an ineffable atmospheric, fairy-tale quality to it that’s never quite been recaptured outside A Fragmentary Passage and maybe Chain of Memories at its best. Perhaps it requires a level of stripped-down that its ever-expanding world would go on to render impossible, or maybe it just needs a fresh injection of mystery.

3. Kingdom Hearts III

Ah, the poor kid who could never live up to the expectations its older siblings foisted on it. It indeed has problems, partly due to content belonging in here being stripmined by 3D through no fault of its own, but partly due to a wonky beginning, impatience to achieve closure in pursuit of the next ‘saga’, its bizarre shortchanging of central characters, gameplay that while fun still discarded the most important innovations since II, oddly structured DLC, a couple dud worlds, and David Gallagher cold giving up on giving a shit. Still, in retrospect without the weight of expectations on it this game is a total blast that brings plenty new in its own right to the table gameplay-wise that even fixes some of the series’ longstanding issues, offers some of the *best* Disney worlds, sets up genuinely fascinating things to come, and ends on a finale of jaw-dropping catharsis that managed at the last to successfully reframe basically every major villain without feeling like a last-minute jab at depth. It’ll forever be defined by what it failed to be, yet at the same time I suspect age will be kind to it.

2. Kingdom Hearts 0.2: Birth by Sleep - A Fragmentary Passage

The most limited in scope, this turned that into an advantage with the chance to do something radically different tonally, a miniature odyssey through nightmare and depression unlike anything the other entries approach. While the very same out-of-the-way status that gave it room to experiment bars it from the top spot, it represents the fruition of some of the franchise’s most potent aspects and hopefully points towards further things to come.

1. Kingdom Hearts II

The one all others are defined against. Yeah, yeah, press triangle to win, we totally owned you lamers, did somebody say Door to Darkness, all of it. This is where Kingdom Hearts fully defined its aesthetics, conventions, and concerns going forward, and fundamentally still holds up well as an experience 15 years later as a game and as an emotional narrative. The worst I can say is that a lot of the combat systems like magic/summons/limits feel fairly redundant; the entire identity of these games as a whole, the general understanding of them among even those who don’t play them as something other than simply an odd kiddie crossover cash-in, spins backwards and forwards through the series out from the baseline formed here, and it has yet to be comprehensively exceeded.

[thebrideofthewizardhowl]

The game was invented in England in the early days of the 20th century and was originally called Ping-Pong, a trade name. The name table tennis was adopted in 1921–22 when the old Ping-Pong Association formed in 1902 was revived. The original association had broken up about 1905, though apparently the game continued to be played in parts of England outside London and by the 1920s was being played in many countries. Led by representatives of Germany, Hungary, and England, the Fédération Internationale de Tennis de Table (International Table Tennis Federation) was founded in 1926, the founding members being England, Sweden, Hungary, India, Denmark, Germany, Czechoslovakia, Austria, and Wales. By the mid-1990s more than 165 national associations were members. The table is rectangular, 9 feet by 5 feet (2.7 metres by 1.5 metres), its upper surface a level plane 30 inches (76 cm) above the floor. The net is 6 feet (1.8 metres) long, and its upper edge along the whole length is 6 inches (15.25 cm) above the playing surface. The ball, which is spherical and hollow, was once made of white celluloid. Since 1969 a plastic similar to celluloid has been used. The ball, which may be colored white, yellow, or orange, weighs about 0.09 ounce (2.7 grams) and has a diameter of about 1.6 inches (4 cm). The blade of a racket, or bat, is usually made of wood, is flat and rigid, and may be covered with a thin layer of ordinary stippled, or pimpled, rubber, which may be laid over a thin layer of sponge rubber and may have the pimples reversed. Whatever combination is used, each of the two sides of a paddle must be different in color. The racket may be any size, weight, or shape.

           There are basic equipment to use in playing table tennis;

·       Ball

The ball that used in the game weighs 2.7 grams. It is a small celluloid ball that is white or orange in color, depending on the preference of the player. They come in different qualities with those possessing 3 stars being the best kind It is recommended for beginners. Also, they come in a variety of sizes ranging from 38 mm to 54 mm in diameter. However, the 40 mm diameter ball is used mainly in international leagues and competitions. It is the one specified by the International Table Tennis Federation-ITTF.

·       Rubber, Racket, or Paddle

The table tennis racket or paddle is another important piece of equipment. It is used to hit the ball back and forth on the table. The shape is similar to the one used for tennis except it is smaller and made of different materials. The racket is made of wood and rubber. It is divided into two parts, the handle, and blade. The quality of both parts of the racket can affect the force applied by the player. The player must choose the best kind of racket to get good results. Aside from that, the player must take note of the rubber used on the blade. This can affect the type and amount of spin used in hitting the ball. Rackets are available in pre-made as well as customized conditions. Beginners are recommended to acquire the pre-made ones, to avoid the confusion of making customized ones. However, they must be sure to buy from reputable sports shops or online table tennis stores.

·       Table Tennis Table

Included in the list of important table tennis equipment is the table. The ITTF specifies that the official table tennis tables used in the tournament must be 9 ft long, 5 ft wide, and must be placed 30 inches above the ground.They come in either green, blue, or black color and are made from hardboard. The surface must be smooth to provide the lowest friction possible.

·       Net and Post

The net is bought together with the table or rackets, or it can be bought by itself. Whatever the case, it should be six feet long and six inches wide. It should have an upper white tape that is not more than 15mm wide. Also, it should include an assembly that can be attached to the middle of the table tennis table. The four types of equipment are the most basic that any aspiring player should buy. Other table tennis equipment include shoes, clothing, and accessories. However, these are optional.

                 Table tennis is a complex, layered game, and mastery requires a balance of mental strategies and physical skill. But even the most complex game is built on the foundation of four basic skills that even a beginner can learn and practice to improve their game. Practicing the basic skills of table tennis improves your performance and your enjoyment and allows you to develop more advanced skills later on. Here are the basic skills of table tennis.

Before hitting your first shot it’s worth getting your body in the right position. A correct and stance in relation to the table depends to some degree on your grip, and whether you’re are attacking, defending, or serving the ball. However, even as your arm position and placement relative to the table changes, you should always have the correct stance and body posture. The right stance gives you the balance, stability, and range of movement you need to play the game. 

Feet

Your feet should be wide, about 1.5 or more shoulder widths apart so that you can quickly move side-to-side. Keep your non-dominant foot slightly ahead of the other (for right-handed people, this means keeping your left foot slightly closer to the table, for left-handed people it’s the opposite). 

Ankles and knees

Keep your knees and ankles slightly bent and flexible, with your weight forward on your toes. This keeps your body ready to move forward or backward as needed.

Back and shoulders

Keep your upper body slightly bent at the waist. With the bent ankles, knees, and waist and your shoulders forward, your whole body is in a slightly crouched position, ready to spring into action.

Your arms should be in front of your body, with your elbow and paddle in front of you. 

Holding the paddle

The exact position of your hands and arms in your stance depends on your grip or how you hold the bat. There are two basic grips in table tennis: the shakehand grip, and the penhold grip. The different types of grip have specific variations for your hand position on the paddle depending on your preference and style of play.

Each grip has advantages and disadvantages, but it’s also important to choose the grip that is comfortable and natural for you.

The four basic table tennis strokes

The four basic strokes of table tennis are necessary to master forehand and backhand attack and defense. 

The forehand drive is the most basic and fundamental ping pong stroke. It returns aggressive/attacking strokes and lands your ball close to the opponent’s baseline or sideline. With the forehand drive, you rotate your body to the back to add power to the ball, so rotate the upper body away and transfer your weight onto your back foot, moving your arm straight back. 

As soon as the ball hits your side of the table, rotate your body toward it, shifting your weight forward. Hit the ball at the peak of the bounce, adding speed at impact to impart spin. After you have struck the ball, continue the motion to rest with your paddle pointing upward. For a great demonstration of the forehand drive, check out this video:

The backhand drive is the mirror of the forehand drive, intended to return attacking shots and land the ball at the opponent’s baseline. To deliver a backhand drive, stand with your torso in the path of the ball (rather than reaching with your arm), and keep your stance angled toward the table with your free arm pointed toward the ball. 

Your waist should bend forward and lift upward as you move your paddle arm forward and upward, hitting the ball at the top of its bounce and completing the forward and upward motion. Check out this video for a demonstration of the backhand drive:

The backhand push returns short balls, and prevents your opponent from making an attacking return. As with the backhand drive, your body should be positioned in line with the ball, rather than reaching to the side with your arm.

Sweep your arm forward from your chest, letting the paddle swiftly brush underneath the ball at its peak. Aiming downward toward the table or forward to the net imparts various amounts of spin, so this is a controlled stroke. Here’s a great demonstration video:

The forehand push is also designed for returning short balls and preventing attacking shots. Like the forehand drive, you stand with the dominant foot slightly back, and rotate the upper body to accentuate the motion of the paddle. However, unlike the forehand drive, you do a smaller backswing, rotating your wrist forward through the range of motion, and keep your paddle open to brush beneath the ball. For a demonstration of the forehand push, check out this video:

A table tennis serve is the final basic skill, and it’s a crucial skill since the serve is the only time you have complete control of the ball and the game. There are a number of different types of serves each with different pros and cons but the basics remain the same.

1.    Balance the ball on the palm of your free hand with the hand open.

2.    Throw the ball vertically upward so that it rises at least 6 inches above your hand.

3.    As the ball drops, hit it with your chosen stroke, ensuring that it bounces on your side of the table, goes over the net, and bounces on your opponent’s side of the table.

 Conclusion

These basic skills are always worth practicing and drilling, no matter how experienced a player is because all advanced skills are added to these fundamentals. It’s definitely worth dedicating some alone practice time to each type of shot. Mastery of the correct technique not only improves your game but can help prevent strain and make the game more enjoyable. Learning the basics is the first step on your way to becoming a champion. 

 Tactics generally rely on three main skills: The ability to keep the ball in play. The ability to play the ball to certain areas of the table, and. The ability to apply pressure on your opponent by using different types and amounts of spin, and different speeds, in order to create openings and hit winning shots.

Official Rules of Table Tennis

These official table tennis rules should help you keep things straight.

 1.  GAMES ARE PLAYED TO 11 POINTS

A Game is played to 11 points. A Game must be won by two points. A Match is generally the best three of five Games.

 2.  ALTERNATE SERVES EVERY TWO POINTS

Each side of the table alternates serving two points at a time. EXCEPTION: After tied 10-10 (“deuce”), service alternates at every point. Can you lose on a serve in ping pong? Yes! There is no separate rule for serving on Game Point.

 3.  TOSS THE BALL STRAIGHT UP WHEN SERVING

How do you serve the ball in ping pong? Hold the ball in your open palm, behind your end of the table. Toss at least 6” straight up, and strike it on the way down. It must hit your side of the table and then the other side. NOTE: Once the ball leaves the server’s hand it is in play, and so counts as the receiver’s point if the ball is missed or mishit.

 4.  THE SERVE CAN LAND ANYWHERE IN SINGLES

There is no restriction on where the ball lands on your side or your opponent’s side of the table. It can bounce two or more times on your opponent’s side (if so, that’s your point), bounce over the side, or even hit the edge.

 5.  DOUBLES SERVES MUST GO RIGHT COURT TO RIGHT COURT

The serve must bounce in the server’s right court, and receiver’s right court (NOTE: landing on center line is fair). Doubles partners switch places after their team serves twice.

 6.  A SERVE THAT TOUCHES THE NET ON THE WAY OVER IS A “LET”

Can the ball hit the net in ping pong? Yes, during a RALLY, if it touches the top of the net and then otherwise lands as a legitimate hit. BUT not when serving. If a served ball hits the net on the way over and otherwise legally bounces in play, it’s a “let” serve and is done over. There is no limit on how many times this can happen.

 7.  ALTERNATE HITTING IN A DOUBLES RALLY

Doubles partners must alternate hitting balls in a rally, no matter where the ball lands on the table.

 8.  VOLLEYS ARE NOT ALLOWED

Can you hit the ball before it bounces in ping pong? No. In regular tennis you may “volley” the ball (hitting the ball before it bounces on your side of the net). But in table tennis, this results in a point for your opponent. NOTE: When your opponent hits a ball that sails over your end of the table without touching it and then hits you or your paddle, that is still your point.  

 9.  IF YOUR HIT BOUNCES BACK OVER THE NET BY ITSELF IT IS YOUR POINT

If you hit the ball in a rally or on a serve and it bounces back over the net after hitting your opponent’s side of the table (due to extreme spin), without your opponent touching it, that is your point.

 10.  TOUCHING THE BALL WITH YOUR PADDLE HAND IS ALLOWED

What happens if the ball hits your finger or hand during a ping pong rally?  If the ball touches your PADDLE hand and otherwise results in a legal hit, there is no rule violation and play shall continue as normal. Your paddle hand includes all fingers and hand area below the wrist. But what if the ball touches a player’s body anywhere else during a ping pong rally? You may not touch the table with your non-paddle hand for any reason. It will result in a point for your opponent, but if your opponent’s hit sails over your side of the table without touching it, and hits any part of you or your paddle, that is still your point.

 11.  YOU MAY NOT TOUCH THE TABLE WITH YOUR NON-PADDLE HAND

You may touch the ball or the table with your paddle hand (after reaching in to return a short serve, for example), or other parts of your body. NOTE: If the table moves at all from your touching it during a rally, that is your opponent’s point.

 12.  AN “EDGE” BALL BOUNCING OFF THE HORIZONTAL TABLE TOP SURFACE IS GOOD

An otherwise legal serve or hit may contact the top edge of the horizontal table top surface and be counted as valid, even if it bounces sidewise. The vertical sides of the table are NOT part of the legal playing surface.

 13.  HONOR SYSTEM APPLIES TO DISAGREEMENTS

If no referee is present during a match and the players disagree on a certain call, the “honor system” applies and the players should find a way to agree, or play the point over. Ping pong carries a tradition of fierce but fair play. Help us keep it that way!

How to officiate the game? Simple!

For every table tennis competition, a referee is appointed with a deputy who can act on their behalf. The referee is required to be present at the venue throughout a tournament and is required to uphold the rules.

 During a table tennis match, an umpire is appointed to decide on the result of each point or rally. The umpire is required to use their judgement when applying the laws and regulations of the ITTF. Where the umpire is officiating alone, their decision is final and they should be seated about 2–3 meters from the side of the table and in line with the net.

Citations: 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/guides/z9m7xsg/revision/3

 https://www.pongfit.org/official-rules-of-table-tennis

https://basilioeduc.wordpress.com/2013/09/20/officiating-table-tennis/

https://pingpongruler.com/basic-table-tennis-skills/

https://www.tabletennisspot.com/basic-types-of-table-tennis-equipment/

https://www.britannica.com/sports/table-tennis

video is from:  (Men's Singles Table Tennis Final - Full Match | Rio 2016 Replays https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5H-Eq_Kcxw )

[eclecticlanie]

Child Spirit claps back!

OK! SOOOO. A little back story first. I left my first husband 10 years ago. I left EVERYTHING with him except my daughter. I use to write novels (never published), songs, poems, draw all sorts of artwork, and my clothes were my life (I was particular about my fashion choices). I left everything: books, original artworks, basically my soul and identity. When I left I did not write or do any art ever again. I had to focus on being a first time mother, go to work full time, and school full time. I had a new identity that left no time or room for who I was from that day forward.

 My Hubs (2nd husband) produces Drum and Bass music and has since he was a teen. I support and help him as much as I can doing whatever I can (singing, speaking, picking out sounds, synths, etc; telling him to remove certain things that don’t work well, so on so forth). He has always taken music seriously and wanted to go much further than he has with it in the past but has held himself back due to fears of being in public eyes and what the media could do to him. Understandable. 

We decided recently to go for it-to take this to the next level if we could. In this process, Hubs decides I need to unpack that 10 years of exiling my talents. He bought me a notebook and now hounds me to speak to him so he can write or have me write my own songs and poems again. I say hounds but really he is trying to inspire me and find me a muse, there is no true negative connotation on it. I am just naturally pessimistic. Hubs is most definitely an optimist and before anyone asks, yes, sometimes it makes me sick (figuratively). In reality we balance each other extremely well. I never have had a more healthy relationship with anyone other than my mother in my life with the exception being Hubs. He is my everything, next to our kids. 

So that brings us to today. We, Hubs and I, are in the kitchen. I am cooking ground beef to make tacos on the stove. We were talking about how I don’t like my voice on recording but I do like it raw and natural and how I don’t understand why I feel I sound different on recording versus not recording. I then decide we need to discuss what we want to change and not to change if we happen to go next level with this music endeavor. As I leave the stove and go into the fridge (literally the fridge is next to the stove so it is only one step away) to make a glass of soda, I ask, “If we do go next level what do we want to stay the same and what do we want to have change?”

I turn around with the soda bottle in hand to go to the counter where my glass is waiting and Hubs is standing. I see a child standing next to him that isn’t mine with sandy brown or sandy blonde hair down to its cheeks. I’m not entirely sure which would better describe the kids hair. I assume it’s a non-binary child right off the bat. This child scares the shit out of me. It was not there prior to this moment. I never have seen this child before in my life and it is standing next to Hubs. I let out a short loud scream upon seeing this child and at this exact moment the child swings it’s hand and hits my Hubs glass of soda out of his own hands. The glass went up then hit the floor. It did not shatter, break, or crack. It was in one piece. Soda was on my upper and lower cabinets, on the floor and the side of the stove. The child was gone. Vanished. 

“What was that?” Hubs looked at me. 

“I don’t know why i screamed like that.” I tried to rationalize with myself, “It was a child.”

I pour myself a glass of soda and go back to cooking. Hubs and I discuss what just happened and didn’t continue the previous conversation we were trying to have about our possible future. We agree to invite the ghost upstairs to have a conversation via tarot after we eat dinner. Tacos took maybe another 3 minutes to cook and construct. We ate at the stove and the kids ate at the dining table. So a whole ten minutes maybe passed before we ran upstairs and grabbed my Nightmare Before Christmas Tarot Deck, pendulum, and pendulum board. 

I’m sitting on the bed and my back is killing me. This spirit is sucking my energy to stay present so I can receive it’s message. I start shuffling and right out of the gate cards are spilling.

The first five:

1. XIX The Sun: 

Directly from the guidebook: 

“When cloudy skies pass, the sun comes out, shining warmth and happiness on everyone’s lives. The excitement, renewed energy, and joy Jack experiences when he discovers Christmas Town perfectly embody the energy of the Sun tarot card. 

Upright: If you’ve been sad or troubled lately, the Sun is a sign you’re about to feel a very positive shift in your life. Use this rejuvenating energy to reconnect with good friends and enjoy yourself. There’s so much enthusiasm in this tarot card. It signifies a powerful time for inspired brainstorming.” 

Interpretation: I believe this represents both the child I seen and the situation. The child had no ill or negative feeling. It was a joyful and happy child. As for the situation, the Sun is calling me out on how I’m very negative and down on myself and that positive things are happening in my life. I need to start removing myself from being pessimistic and join ‘Team Optimistic’ by following through and doing as my Hubs has been pushing me to do. 

2. XVIII The Moon (Reversed):

Directly from the guidebook:

“Moonlight illuminates Jack in the graveyard as he reflects on his feelings. The moon represents a great lament, the subconscious, and intuition.”

“Reversed: In order to move forward, you need to be honest about your feelings, with yourself and others. Expressing yourself will life a weight off your chest and get you out of a melancholy headspace. The Sun is about to come out, and a new day will bring new possibilities.” 

Interpretation: I was in the process of expressing my feelings on my voice right before the glass was thrown. I was being negative and hurtful to myself. The child did not like it and that is why they hit the glass to gain attention and to give me this message thus “the sun is about to come out”. I will be enlightened by the other side as to their feelings rather than focus on my own. 

3. X of Needles:

Directly from the guidebook:

“Upright: X of Needles indicates something is coming to a painful ending. Whether this refers to a friendship, relationship, project, or job, you may be left with heavy emotions. Give yourself time to grieve, but trust that it’s for the best. Fresh beginnings are ahead!”

Interpretation: The 10 years I am unpacking is the means to an end. The hurt will end. I’ve hurt myself enough. My talents no longer need to be buried and not used. They are valid and need to be expressed. They will bleed and feel rushed because the flood gates are now open.

4. Queen of Needles:

Directly from the guidebook: 

“Upright: The Queen of Needles is intelligent, intellectual, and sensible. She takes time to make up her own mind and isn’t easily swayed by trends, fads, or popular opinion. Fair and practical, the Queen of Needles shouldn’t be underestimated. This card is a call to remember how strong you really are.” 

Interpretation: The child is 

5. III of Needles (Reversed): 

Directly from the guidebook:

“Reversed: III of Needles reversed symbolizes coming to terms with the past It’s time to pluck the needles out of your heart, and let it heal. Nurse your wounds and go forward.”

Interpretation: I need to let myself move forward and not punish myself. I need to allow my gifts to thrive and be of use in my life. 

I decided to use the Pendulum board a little bit to confirm everything I had seen. I asked the spirit if I was correct with the sandy brown-blonde hair color. The pendulum swung ‘yes’. I continued, “Definitely not a red head then.” The crystal swung ‘no.’ “Is there more you want to tell me?” ‘Yes.’ I picked up the cards and started shuffling again. Five more cards popped out. 

6. IX The Hermit:

Directly from the guidebook:

“The Hermit is a thoughtful, introverted figure who likes to spend his time ruminating alone--like the Creature Under the Stairs.

Upright: Now’s the time to get inspired by example and withdraw for some quiet alone time. The Hermit calls for reflection, so do a bit of soul-searching. Consider your current position, goals, and dreams. Remember your past, and learn from it so you can bring those lessons with you into a successful future.”

Interpretation: The child wants me to really look deep into myself and accept who I am. 

7. III The Empress (Reversed):

Directly from the guidebook:

“The Empress is a maternal, nurturing figure who enjoys self-indulgence and life’s creature comforts. Our Empress is the Corpse Mom, who is often seen leading her child on a leash.”

“Reversed: Are you being too hard on yourself? You may have been feeling self-critical lately, but beating yourself up about perceived failures and flaws won’t help. Be patient, and give yourself room to make mistakes--they’re learning opportunities.”

Interpretation: I couldn’t have interpreted this card any other way than as they described. I needed to stop bullying myself. The child seemed very adamant with this message.

8. IX of Needles (Reversed):

Directly from the guidebook:

“Reversed: Has your confidence been dealt a blow recently? If you’re feeling low, you may be your own biggest bully. Start focusing on your positive qualities instead of fixating on your perceived negative ones. A shift in perspective is what’s needed to get you out of despair.”

Interpretation: Again, I couldn’t have interpreted this card any differently. I need to get my head out of my ass.

9. VI of Needles:

Directly from the guidebook:

“VI of Needles usually indicates you’ve been through a difficult time. Have you recently been in conflict with someone or experienced an unexpected setback? It’s time to pick up the pieces and get on track again.”

Interpretation: I need to make peace with myself, pick up the pieces I left behind and put them where they belong in my life-not outside of it.

10. Queen of Candles (Reversed):

Directly from the guidebook: 

“Reversed: The reversed Queen of Candles lacks self-confidence. Have you been giving too much attention to the opinions of others? Don’t stifle your ideas and lose your voice. Make time for a bit of soul-searching, and express yourself. Don’t worry what others may think. You have so much to offer!”

Interpretation: Another hard one! All jokes aside, this child couldn’t have been more direct. I need to keep my opinion on myself out of the picture. I need to use my voice-literally. I need to see the value in me and gain confidence. 

I then started telling the spirit I really understood the first time around about their message. Hubs is half laughing at me that I got called out by a child ghost. I continue to state out loud that I understand I need to be nicer to myself and use my talents with the focus of the future in mind. I also state that my back is really starting to kill me and that i would like it to leave if it had nothing more to say. I start shuffling and what do you know... Five more cards...

11. XIIII Death (Reversed):

Directly from the guidebook: 

“Death is often a feared tarot card, but that’s just because its misunderstood. It’s a card of transformation and transition-beginnings and endings. Like the creaky, old gates in Halloween Town’s cemetery, the Death tarot card is a spooky symbol of change and transformation.”

“Reversed: Are you putting off a life-changing decision? Resisting change is impossible and will only cause harm in the long run. Letting go of the familiar can be tough, but trust that accepting transition will make way for positive, fresh beginnings.”

Interpretation: Clearly a change is coming. Whether it be my attitude about myself or how I manage my mental health? Only time will tell. 

12. IV of Needles (Reversed):

Directly from the guidebook:

“Reversed: Here, the restful energy of the IV of Needles card becomes static. Are you feeling stuck? Have you reached a plateau? It’s important to shake yourself out of your routine. When you take a different perspective, you’ll see you have all kinds of opportunities around you.”

Interpretation: I need to look outside of the box when I think about myself.

13. XIV Temperance (Reversed):

Directly from the guidebook:

“Like pouring magical potions into a cauldron, Temperance represents the act of combining different elements together in perfect harmony.”

“Reversed: If life is feeling hectic, it’s time to bring things back into balance. Pay attention to areas of your life that may be a little neglected. The recipe for success requires a pinch of self-reflection and a dash of Temperance. stir thoroughly, and enjoy.”

Interpretation: I need to balance my negativity with positivity. 

14. IV of Candles:

Directly from the guidebook:

“IV of Candles represents celebration. People are recognizing your accomplishments! You’re feeling stable, secure, and comfortable. Be proud of yourself and enjoy the attention, but remember there is still work to be done when the party’s over.”

Interpretation: Although, at our current status as a family, we are successful and doing decent for ourselves but, individually, we can always work and build our characters. 

15. III of Presents (Reversed): 

Directly from the guidebook:

“Reversed: Reversed, III of Presents represents an imbalance within a professional or financial collaboration. If you’re working with others on a project, make sure everyone’s doing their part. Disaster strikes when things become inequitable. Prioritizing teamwork will get you where you want to go.”

Interpretation: I need to be more open about my thoughts, opinions, hopes, fears, etc towards Hubs on this new adventure. 

With this I felt a lot of my back pain let up. I started to slip the cards back into the deck and shuffle them again just to give them an after reading cleanse. Hubs randomly states he was thinking about splurging on a cyber whip rave toy and then another two cards popped out. 

16. XX Judgement:

Directly from guidebook:

“We all have pivotal decisions to make in our lives. Will yours land you on the naughty list or the nice list?

Upright: Now isn’t the time to be hasty and impulsive. Consider your actions and choices carefully, and take time to think things through. Remember that all actions have reactions. Be sensible, and stay true to your conscience.”

Interpretation: The Childs leaving statement is to be mindful as well as ‘you do you’. Apparently, Party time is not on its list of things to do. I may have taken this a little condescendingly. This ghost doesn’t like to have fun. 

17. IV of Presents (Reversed):

Directly from the guidebook:

“Reversed: Is your relationship with money healthy? Is it getting you where you want to go? If not, it may be time to look over your budget and reevaluate your priorities. Make sure you’re not spending frivolously if your cash flow can’t support it right now.”

Interpretation: The spirit child was telling us to maybe not go out and buy a light up whip to dance with. No parties for you! Well... In our house, raves will persevere! GLOW STICKS OUT! RAVE ON!