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#the first draft doesn't have to be good but CONSIDER. i don't think i can write even something mediocre rn
flowersforchoso · 3 days
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Grandmaster and I.
cw: enemies to lovers(?), power imbalance, fluff if you squint, a love triangle trope if you squint harder. female reader a/n: i've had this sitting in my drafts for the longest and only now decided to post. also, english isn't my first language, so bear with me regarding any grammar errors or weird construction/phrasing. thankue
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the lin kuei trio was on a mission when you attacked them. they trespassed on your turf, and you ambitiously tried to take out all three of them at once, failing unsurprisingly since you were no match for the skilled assassins.
you're easily subdued and taken captive, dispossessed of your weapons and barraged with interrogations. after discovering you don't pose much of a threat, they deliberate on what to do with you, ultimately deciding to keep you around as a maidservant of sorts.
you're subjected to demeaning labour in and around the lin kuei base, tasked with all manner of chores. you're the designated errand girl. you hate it here
a period of close monitoring has elapsed, and the grandmaster, out of the goodness of his heart, deems it fit to convert you into one of the grunts, the lowest ranked. he believes your sheer will and rudimentary fighting skills would be beneficial to the clan, no matter how small.
so you're set on the path to becoming a part of the lin kuei. once just a lowly rogue turned maid, now subject to tedious training to become a full-fledged assassin.
while you impress since you have a background in combat, you're still not up to par with the clan's standards. but there's a development: a new relationship emerges.
you and tomas have begun to be on friendly terms. it's not that surprising, considering his personality and you both being on the younger side—a connection was bound to form
casual greetings turned into sparring together, and progressed to going hunting. together
bihan notices the budding... friendship, (if he could call it that) that's supposedly going on between you two and isn't pleased by it, but turns a blind eye instead. it doesn't concern him
it isn't until he sees you both return from a hunt (engaging in tomas' pastime) while holding hands, then later in a compromising position—with you ontop of him to conclude a training session—that he decides to take matters into his hands. such salacious behaviour was prohibited on lin kuei grounds, he had enough of your impudence
you're forbidden from training with smoke, but not without a lengthy verbal lashing first. you find it unfair and voice your displeasure, which he interprets as insubordination
you're punished with running a couple of laps and close to a hundred pushups. he won't go easy on you just because you happen to be a woman, despite protests from kuai liang in the background
you detest him for alot of things, but mostly for coming between the only interaction that was keeping you sane in this hellish place. he isn't fond of you either, as he finds you rather incompetent, ill-bred, impertinent.
the time has come to take your training to the next level: missions. it's your first to properly evaluate your skills, and you're nothing short of excited, hoping to be paired with tomas
however, bihan senses your enthusiasm as rather devious and pairs you up with himself instead, shattering your hopes. and this becomes the case with subsequent missions
for a lack of better words, you're attached to his hip. you've become his personal project of sorts. he wants to forge you into a warrior you'll never be on your own merit and thinks you and tomas are distracting eachother, enforcing distance between the both of you
your training henceforth is with him only. he's always on the defensive while you attack, but it seems you can never land a hit, no matter what you do.
cue the outpouring of criticisms and scoldings, laced with threats of sending you back to scrubbing floors if you fail to improve and you fight back tears as the harsh words tumble out of his mouth effortlessly
but you refuse to allow his condescension bother you for long. instead, letting it serve as motivation to do better. you go the extra mile with training, and in due time, it yields positive results—you've tremendously improved. and finally get rewarded with the lin kuei uniform, marking your official initiation into the ranks.
during the ceremony, the grandmaster's eyes are fixed on you. once it's over and done with, he summons your presence. in private.
you know where this is going and there are no surprises when he finally opens his mouth to query you—you slightly modified the lin kuei uniform to fit your fashion sensibilities, sticking out like a sore thumb amongst the new initiates.
rather than cower in fear when his judgemental eyes peer into yours, demanding an explanation for your indiscretion, you meet his eyes in defiance, stating your reason as an aesthetic choice.
bihan is not the least bit surprised by your little rebellion, and for some reason, he lets it slide (a first for him) only dismissing you with a vague warning to know your limits, which has you fighting the urge to roll your eyes.
the days roll by... you've adjusted quite nicely to your new identity, even going as far as shedding your old appearance to blend into the predominantly male environment—you cut your hair short. unbeknownst to you, your new appearance has achieved the opposite effect: accentuated your feminine charms instead of diminish it
the grandmaster obviously notices this change, but doesn't comment on your business.
however, he doesn't understand why he's suddenly become aware of anything concerning you that he would normally not care about, such as how subtly flirty some foes become in the heat of combat with you
or tomas lingering stare on you, which you reciprocate with a longing of your own
or johnny's unwanted presence and comments upon seeing you, dubbing you lin kuei eyecandy
or is it his brother softly praising you for your quick thinking while on a mission?
even his attitude towards you has slowly shifted—he doesn't speak to you as harshly, doesn't shut down your requests for needing breaks.
not to mention, how his eyes keep wandering in your direction for reasons unknown to him. your mere presence is becoming rather bothersome when it wasn't much of an issue before.
bi-han wants to put a stop to whatever this is, and his plans to resolve his personal dilemma comes as a shock, not just to you, but to kuai liang and tomas as well
out of nowhere, you're reassigned to the administrative sphere. you'll no longer serve on active duty. because, according to him, while your skills are formidable, they're needed elsewhere. in a nutshell, you were practically being demoted
he doesn't provide more reasons for this decision despite his brothers attempts to cajole an answer from him, and citing how much of an asset you were on the battlefield.
his words were final, and there you were—not even back to square one. for you were neither seen nor heard of, just lost among a sea of cogs in a machinery
the passage of time has flown rather quickly since then, bringing attendant changes—both bad and good ones
kuai liang and tomas have charted a new course; they left the lin kuei after a series of disputes with bi-han concerning his leadership and vision
and this saddened you when the news reached your ears, especially because tomas never deemed it fit to inform you or include you in his plans. while you were forbidden from interacting with him, he could still find a way to communicate with you if he wanted to
you're hurt by this, but you know it's probably incomparable to how bi-han must've felt about having his brothers turn their backs on him.
due to your new (limited) position, you're no longer in proximity to him. infact, you barely see him outside of general morning assembly and drills.
a part of you wants to know how he's fairing regarding this unforeseen circumstance, so you decide to go to him where you know you'll no doubt find him—the meeting room, at dusk.
with a teacup in hand, you braved the door that holds the domineering figure within. knocking softly, tentatively; you hear an intimidating, "enter." inhaling sharply, you step inside
bi-han is a bit taken aback by your presence though his expression doesn't betray this. he is stoic and composed, as always
"i did not request your presence." he coldly states matter-of-factly, making you gulp. a slight tremble to your fingers as you clutch the teacup closer to your chest
"yes, you did not" you affirm. "but i thought it appropriate to see you after learning of recent events." you proceed to gently set the teacup on the table, his unblinking stare fixed on you
"i don't need your coddling or anyone else's for that matter." he sneers, clearly insulted by your gesture but you don't let it affect you as much.
"i know you don't need anyone or anything" you utter in hushed tones, speaking more to yourself than to him before continuing, "but... just accept this, please."
your appeal is met with complete silence, and without feeling like you've overstayed your welcome, you bow your head slightly. "i'll be on my way now." you announce, taking to your heels, and gliding past lin kuei members on the corridor as you head towards your station.
the tea you served bi-han remained untouched. and by morning, it was cleared from the table. however, the days after that empathetic move of yours ushered in many surprises...
it was nighttime, the sky outside pitch black, when an invitation was sent to your quarters in the form of bi-han himself, standing tall by your doorframe, towering and imposing, requesting you to accompany him on a... stroll?
you barely had time to process what was happening in the moment; fingers reaching to adjust the neckline of your robe, a movement that didn't escape his piercing gaze, before going along with him
since it was close to midnight, the base wasn't teeming with much activity, as most of the lin kuei members had already retired for the night, so your nightly engagement went mostly unnoticed as you walked alongside him. the cool night air brushing past your skin
he doesn't speak much to you, and you don't either, besides a few curt responses here and there when he asked about your duties and such.
before you knew what was happening, you were right back to your living quarters with bi-han escorting you. you bid him goodnight, to which he nodded and went about his way.
you're still in shock, in disbelief at what had occurred, and the awkwardness of it all preoccupied your mind for days on end. you desired answers to the multiple questions that circled your mind. but the answers did not come until several nightly engagements later....
following tender touches under the gleaming moonlight
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binch-i-might-be · 5 months
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when you haven't written in a while the thought of writing feels so overwhelming. even just. one scene. it's like "you're telling me my empty dumb brain has to come up with words and put them in the right order and they have to make sense AND sound good and also they have to Evoke Emotion? how about I just end it all"
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I've been running this writing experiment lately to cut out phrases like "I felt" in my fiction writing. Like I was looking at a sentence in a draft that said, "he felt as if character's eyes were pinning him in place." And then I was like, "well, does he think that or is it true? As a result of this person watching him, he's froze. It's not like a thing, it is that thing."
Oh and "almost"! I'm always going, "He felt almost relieved that it hadn't happened." Well, did he feel better that it didn't happen or didn't he? Or "somewhat", I'm always going, "she felt somewhat perturbed."
And like none of that is wrong, to be clear. I don't know if it'd improve your writing, I don't even know if it'll improve my writing, but I use this sentence structure all the time so every viewpoint is from a voice that thinks about what it thinks, hedges its statements, and offers the same ability for wry little jokes formatted in the exact same way. And I have a lot of writing like that and I think (!) that they're good, but read as a whole, I'm like, "god, they all sound the same." Like there's one melody that I write songs to, so even with different lyrics, it's almost (!) the same song. Something I've been struggling with in regards to my writing and why I've felt so blocked is how boring I found writing my usual way. I'd read something and enjoy the individual parts of it, but then I'd step back and I didn't like the whole. And I got good at this enough at seeing that I didn't like it to do it in real time as I was writing, which as you can imagine didn't improve the process of writing because now I was bored AND dejected about being bored.
There's this sentence-level structure fact that I use unconsciously. A pattern I find easy is short sentence, short sentence, short sentence, long sentence. So I write that. "He [verbed]. He [verbed]. Then he [verbed]. As he [verbed] to his [consequence], he [verbed] that [noun] was [statement of condition]." Which could work, it often does make for a nice rhythm, but it's something I reach for often because it's easier for me.
Just last sentence, I originally typed, "I find it easier for me." But if what I mean is "using this pattern is less effort than another pattern," then it's easier for me. One voice is hedging its bets and the other asserting. Either is fine! But they're different! And, again, GOD you would not believe how many words I've cut out of this paragraph as I write it. I'm so chatty. I love using twelve words when six will do. And that gives my writing a specific tone to my ear.
So if I am bored of that tone, why not try using just the six words? Why be understated? Why be afraid of stronger opinions? So right now with my fiction, I'm experimenting with cutting out as many self-reflective words as I can. Sometime you do need to draw attention to the face that this is the character's interpretation, but like you definitely don't need to do it as much as I naturally want to do it. You don't need to always go out of your way to allow the possibility that the narrative voice is wrong. During editing, I trim the weaker ones (I originally typed, "what I consider the weaker ones" Is that more accurate?). But I think them being there in the first place shifts my language which shifts my character's which shifts my plot. It's sentence structure all the way down!!
(this barely applies to my writing on here, btw. i try to do good but yknow this is a tumblr blog. i'm not trying to get a lit mag to accept it.)
Anyway blah blah (chatty!) the point is I've been trying to write in a way opposite of my interests. Something that doesn't take itself too seriously, that emphasizes EMOTION and ACTION instead of minimizing it, and that clips through scenes at a good pace. Doing this been amazingly fun. I've been having such a good time doing it. I am writing so much because I really enjoy doing it. The process of writing is so fun again.
This post is about two things. One is my new mood stabilizer and therapy day camp. The other is about the benefit of pretending to be MXTX.
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jonnywaistcoat · 7 months
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Hey, Horrormaster Sims. I have a wildly different question that barely relates to TMA (Sorry about that) but its about your own process. Please, if you could, can you tell me how your first drafts made you feel? I'm on the fence about writing my own thing (not a podcast, and again, not Magnus related, though I have a million little aus for that delightful tragedy you wrote, thank you for that!) But I'm discouraged by the collective notion that first drafts are always terrible, because there's no ... examples I can solidly use to help the dumb anxiety beast in my brain that tells me everyone who is in any way popular popped out a golden turd and not, well, you know. One of my friends said 'Oh I bet Jonathan Sims's first draft was nothing like what he wanted' and I got the bright idea to just. Send you an ask, since you're trapped on this hellsite like I am. Anyway, thanks for reading this (if you do) and if you'd rather ask it privately, I am cool with that. Alternatively, you're a hella busy man with Protocol (you and Alex are making me rabid, i hope you know) and you can just ignore this! Cheers, man, and good words.
To my mind all writing advice, especially stuff that's dispensed as truisms (like "first drafts are always garbage") are only useful inasmuch as such advice prompts you to pay attention to how you write best: what helps your workflow, what inspires you, what keeps you going through the rough bits. There are as many different ways to write (and write well) as there are people who write and so always consider this sort of thing a jumping off point to try out or keep in mind as you gradually figure out your own ways of writing.
On first drafts specifically, I think the wisdom "all first drafts are bad" is a bit of unhelpful oversimplification of the fact that, deadlines notwithstanding, no piece of writing goes out until you decide its ready, so don't get too hung up on your first draft of a thing, because a lot of writers find it much easier to edit a complete work than to try and redraft as they go. It's also important to not let perfectionism or the fact your initial draft isn't coming out exactly how you want stop you from actually finishing the thing, as it's always better to have something decent and done than to have something perfect and abandoned.
But the idea of a "first draft" is also kind of a fluid one. The "first draft" you submit to someone who's commissioned you will probably be one you've already done a bunch of tweaks and edits to, as opposed to the "first draft" you pump out in a frenzy in an over-caffeinated weekend. For my part, my first drafts tend to end up a bit more polished than most, because I'm in the habit of reading my sentences out loud as I write them (a habit picked up from years of audio writing) so I'll often write and re-write a particular sentence or paragraph a few times to get the rhythm right before moving to the next one. This means my first drafts tend to take longer, but are a bit less messy. I'm also a big-time planner and pretty good at sticking to the structures I lay out so, again, tend to front load a lot of stuff so I get a better but slower first draft.
At the end of the day, though, the important thing is to get in your head about it in a good way (How do I write best? what helps me make writing I enjoy and value? What keeps me motivated?) and not in a bad way (What if it's not good enough? What if everyone hates it? What if it doesn't make sense?) so that you actually get it done.
As for how my first drafts made me feel? Terrible, every one of 'em No idea if that's reflective of their quality, though, tbh - I hate reading my own writing until I've had a chance to forget it's mine (I can only ever see the flaws). I suppose there's theoretically a none-zero chance they were pure fragments of True Art and creative perfection, but Alex's editing notes make that seem unlikely.
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changeling-droneco · 1 month
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Hi I'm that person who made the original post about "no doesn mean no" when a small bit of the mr beast company document was leaked, well, now we have the full document (thanks rosanna) so I'm going to go over it. Please note I am not a lawyer or a business man, I'm in college for psychology, so I might misunderstand some things or make the wrong conclusion. However, if this is a document made for the average mr. beast employee, if I cannot understand it properly, then im sure some employees also struggled
First of all, the opening paragraph. Like I get it's supposed to be like, to put people at ease, but
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This is so strange? Like, first of all, this is your EMPLOYEE MANUAL, you should have run it through like, a spell check? Or had someone edit it? This is already incredibly unprofessional. Also the promising of a thousand dollars if you pass a quiz on it? It's bizarre and I'd love to see if it's an actual quiz.
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Jimmy, hun, please god get an editor for this you're already trying my patience.
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YOU SHOULD, you genuinely should, while interconnected these are all COMPLETELY different jobs, if you think you could write a separate manual for each branch you SHOULD
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I'm sure I'm about to get an answer but what the fuck is the best YOUTUBE video then? If it's not comedy, its not production, its not quality, its not look, then what the hell is left? (monetization, it's monetization)
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First of all, Jimmy, why are you using internet lingo in this, it's not a text message, this is not a place for, idc, and lol, and not capitalizing your headers correctly??? Also like I said, he's chasing trends for monetization, and also he's just wrong, there are plenty of hollywood level shows and the like on youtube. You fully admit you do not care about trends and actively rush things?
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This is just fucked??? Like of COURSE IT MATTERS??? Results based company is bullshit, your employees that worked for five weeks and failed aren't "lesser" then James, it's a structural failure! They still worked for HOURS to try and succeed?? That shows merit and loyalty??? What the fuck???
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Rosanna covers this one in her video but it's worth restating that this is FUCKED??? It's clear overwork "your job is your family" culture. Especially the use of the word obsessive? If you do not OBSESS over your work, you are considered poisonous. NO WONDER we have so many reports of employees doing things they feel is dangerous or unsafe, if they don't they're considered POISON to the company.
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The formatting in this doc continues to fucking kill me, what are you DOING man GET AN EDITOR
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This feels like such an easy fix of just...make the thumbnail after the fact? Or only make a rough draft of one first? Like if production makes a red bouncy castle instead of a yellow one, that feels like an easy fix to the thumbnail OR a communication error, and again, that's on management
A lot of the next stuff is like analytics stuff that for the most part I can't really speak on as someone who does not do any of this stuff. There are a few things though
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Which like???? what??? a lull??? what do you mean "watching a video without even realizing they are watching a video??" That doesn't scream good or even mediocre content to me. If I'm actively tuning out as I watch a video, that's bad. Especially because there have been plenty of times I've been like half way through a video i go "hey this sucks actually" and click off. They actively want their audience to not be paying attention to the video so it runs all the way through, that's kinda pathetic.
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I don't actually know if this is common or not in this industry, but as an outsider this seems INCREDIBLY micromanaging to me, to an immense degree.
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Jimmy why are you putting swears in your employee manual?? sir??? and also something about this whole thing icks me out, I don't quite have the words but the whole emphasis on "im different im special no one else can be me" just reeks of something kind of manipulative
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Why is production changing so much Jimmy??? Infinite growth is the mindset of a cancer cell Jimmy! This is incredibly unstable working conditions! Also again with the word obsession, if you take time out of your own day on your own time to watch hulu, that's seen as not being obsessed enough for the company. This is nonsensical!
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Again, this is INSANELY micromanaging, and also so fucking unhinged??? "God himself couldn't stop you from making this video on time" is NOT a healthy work mindset, things HAPPEN!!!
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In this segment he's actually talking normal things but I did just want to highlight his use of "freaken" who the hell puts that in an EMPLOYEE MANUEL
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Again with the micromanaging, and the immense pressure on employees for problems OTHER people do. While he's not fully wrong that you should be in more contact with the contractor then the example, this is too much in the other direction. How much time in the day does he think people have?!
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My kingdom for a fucking paragraph break dude, my fucking eyes. Also this is a lot of "im so great and do everything and you should do more for me and if i dont know something that's your fault" for something titled "I am not always right"
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I'm getting lazy with my highlighting, but again, the micromanaging? If you're SOOO busy, the first question should be the ideal? it's quick and makes a quick decision, while the second one meanders and meanders
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Again, Jimmy is pushing blame for HIS mistakes on OTHER PEOPLE. For again, a section called "i am not always right" hes taking NO accountability for that and just making the SAME excuses he's berating in other places.
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I can't even tell what he means here AN EDITOR JIMMY
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Autism Hell tm, PLEASE email me so I can DOUBLE CHECK IT, things in writing are SO useful
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Again the language towards "C-Players" which as mr beast has said, are the people who y'know, are NORMAL employees who DON'T live and breathe this company
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Okay first of all, a Lamborghini is like 300k so that's already A REALLY hard task, and i sure hope don't usually put typos in the tasks. SECOND of all the fact he thinks its okay to go "hey if the studio is literally on fire around you and you stop working to get the Lamborghini, you're not doing good enough" even if he claims it as a joke is NOT OKAY what the FUCK
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We've covered this before, but to reiterate this segment is named after a sexual assault reference when it could have been named ANYTHING ELSE and harasses employees and pressures them to break rules, don't do that.
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I'm not an editor, so maybe this is normal, but as someone from the outside it seems strange to put this much emphasis on dividing focus between so many videos at once.
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Jimmy, hun, are you paying extra for this? Because if I'm an editor and you want me FILMING stuff then i want to be paid more for doing TWO jobs and I probably still wont be as skilled a TRAINED CAMERA MAN
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First of all now THAT'S a type, consteatants. Also the fact they are aware that leaving contestants out in the sun is bad, why are you not doing MORE TO STOP IT BEYOND "hey maybe giving them three hours of heatstroke is bad, try only two next time"
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Don't we love favoritism, more shitty unprofessional writings, and a completely unstable work environment?
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If your people have to pull all nighters period something is wrong, and if something happens to an employees car that could have seriously hurt someone, i sure hope you care more then just "LOL FUNNY" Who's picking up the broken glass? Who's reimbursing the car owner? That one meme of "your first care should be commitment to the bit" is a MEME jimmy, it's not ACTUAL ADVICE
Ah shit I hit image limit, well, you've seen enough screenshots to know these are screenshots, we're almost done I'll put them in as quotes
"Let’s say you are tasked with finding us a castle to live in for 50 hours and while doing research you find a castle and a number to call for the owner. So you do call, and he answers. Only problem is he says he quit the castle renting business to pursue his dream of building a 100 foot tall lego catapult. You can obviously tell where i’m going with this. Ideally you’d recognize that’s badass as fuck and try to convince him to let us use it when we do find a castle. This is a bad example because it’s so obvious but if you’re doing your job right you will be doing an absurd amounts of calls and data collecting. While trying to complete your prios and prepare for the video you should always be on the lookout for new things you can bring to your creative team to inspire them. Because just like me, they don’t know what they don’t know and you can’t just say “i’m in production and i’m not very creative” because that’s literally the equivalent of saying I suck at what I do. You also need to apply this same mindset when problem solving because many people lose sight of this stuff when in the weeds. If a problem appears, always always always ask yourself if your new plan is whats best for creative, not just the easiest bandaid."
First of all it's really funny seeing all the red lines pop up, second of all this insistent blurring of everyone's job seems so strange? Again maybe this is normal, but it really feels like Jimmy wants everyone working every job, instead on focusing on what they are actually hired to do.
"What is the goal of our content?
To excite me. The goal of our content is to excite me. That may sound weird to some of you, especially if you’re new but to me it’s what’s most important. If I'm not excited to get in front of that camera and film the video, it’s just simply not going to happen."
That's fucking weirddddd, like I get that he's trying to be like "im authentic" but it always feels like a bad sign when the goal of a company is literally just "What amuses the boss" like...bad sign
"this is youtube and there are constraints. You know the video can’t be a minute so you’re obviously going to need a story to hold the viewers and there are rules to storytelling. Our audience is massive and because of that you have to be simple, for 50 million people to understand something it must be simple. Content can be anything but there is structure and rules that we must mold it into that I want to teach you about, because virality doesn’t just happen. Every frame of our videos will be seen by 10s of millions of people"
Gross
"I'd say the average MrBeast viewer is a teenage memer that likes video games."
Mr Beast is completely aware of his demographic and puts screen shots of it, he is very aware his stuff is aimed at kids, even when its about gambling or hiring people not around near minors
"I feel silly for having to write this but all the time I talk to 32 new people that have at most seen like 5 or 6 of our videos and it’s mind blowing that they don’t see a problem with that lol."
It's almost like your audience is teenage memer and that people who working here are not in fact, teenage memers.
"What you consume on social media, when you watch youtube, tv, the games you play, etc. are what I like to call your information diet.
How do you stay up to date on the latest memes? How do you know what’s going on with celebrities? What’s trending on youtube? What other creators are doing? What’s popping on tik tok? Your information diet. Consume things on a daily basis that help you write better content."
If my job as a creative writer had my boss tell me to have to see whats "popping on tik tok" as part of my job i'd quit also again, the micromanaging of someone's life as well pops up again, it's weirddd
"It’s okay for the boys to be childish
If talent wants to draw a dick on the white board in the video or do something stupid, let them. (assuming they know all the risks and arn’t missing context on why it’s not safe) People like when we are in our natural element of stupidity. Really do everything you can to empower the boys when filming and help them make content. Help them be idiots"
More favoritism
"If you’ve made it this far you are probably at least semi interested in this being your career. So I wanted to chat about it. Because if you're ambitious and want to dedicate your life to work, you picked the best company in America to do it at. I really don’t care to hoard a bunch of money and I deeply believe in rewarding the people that help this business get where it needs to be. But before I get into that, let’s talk about the future. As I write this we have 2 teams, that will grow to 4 in the next year. (and possibly 8 in the next 2 years but I can’t talk about that cause james will kill me haha). We need more leaders in the company. Weneed hard working, obsessive, coachable, intelligent, grinders that can step up and take some of these leadership spots over the next 2 years. Every single department has an opportunity for you to grow in and you’re in luck because we don’t do yearly reviews. We do whenever the fuck you want reviewes"
Lack of communication from management, and more emphasis on grinding and crunch culture, goodie, all while riddled with typos! God.
"I see a world where this company is worth billions and one day 10s of billions. And those of you that help build this will be rewarded. I want nothing more then for you to go all in, obsessive all day everyday, and become so god dam valuable this company can’t operate without you. And in return for becoming so valuable I hope to give you incredible experiences, a fun place to work, and of course, more money then you could ever dream of making at any other company."
I feel like I'm reading a fucking pyramid scheme document here, "youre so so valuable spend literally every minute of every day on this company haha" good GOD man
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hauntedrain · 2 months
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F1 Drivers First Date Headcanons .ೃ࿐
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✧*̥˚ Includes Charles, Max, and Oscar. *̥˚✧
✮▹A/N: IT'S BEEN FOREVER, and to be fair I didn't write this recently, it's been in my drafts. but I hope it's okay for now. I've been having a writing block for a long time and haven't had inspo to write anything. I can make more parts if requested.
✰▹Warnings/Notices: maybe unrealistic a bit, honestly kinda a shit post, fr tho not anything mad just fluff. NOT EDITED, NOT PROOFREAD.
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Charles Leclerc ⋆୨୧˚
would definitely be really worried about the date. Not that he's scared about you or anything, but about if he planned the right thing, picked the right outfit, or something along those lines. He just wants to make a good "first impression".
He would be Facetiming/texting Pierre or Arthur every 10 minutes for confirmation and reassurance. "Be honest, do these pants make me look stupid. I can't have her thinking I'm stupid, and can't properly dress myself." He asks while fixing his hair for the 100th time on Facetime. " Charlie, if you're calling me this much then maybe, just maybe... You can't dress yourself properly." "Not funny, but for real. Is this fine?"
He would probably get even more nervous as he meets up with you or picks you up like would be messing with his bracelets, blushing or sheepishly smiling a lot. But after a while, he would calm down and get more confident being around you and talking to you.
He probably asks himself how he was even able to ask you out in the first place considering how nervous he is right now.
For the date idea, he would really want it to be something that you would enjoy. He would message you or ask your friends what your favorite things are and things to do.
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Max Verstappen ✧.*
I think he would be more collected when talking about first dates, however, he would still be nervous about certain things. Would it go well? Is the only reason you like him for his title? What if it's really awkward?
But by the time he's there and starts talking to you those worries fade away and he starts to open up more and be more him. He would definitely not be able to keep a smile off his face after that.
I think the first date you guys would have is just talking over dinner, nothing too crazy, but he also wouldn't want to plan something boring so maybe you guys would do something afterward. Like a walk around a park or going into small stores on the way home? Idk but something that wouldn't just be a simple dinner.
I feel like during the first date, if he doesn't already know you, he tries to get to know you well. He wouldn't just be asking questions like "What your favorite color?", "Favorite season?", etc. Not that its inherently wrong to want to know but he wants something different, like knowing a deep passion or dream of yours. Or even memories and moments throughout your life. Something deeper.
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Oscar Piastri *ೃ༄
I think he would want to do something more casual as a first date. Something like a picnic or going to a cafe. But at the end of the day if you just wanted a dinner somewhere he would be fine with that too.
I don't feel like he would be nervous like others are nervous for first dates, he would be more nervous about just going out and doing things than if the actual date goes well.
Like not freaking out about what to wear, or first impressions, but worrying if this is the right thing to do, or if the date plan was enough (kind of like how Charles cares about what the date was for you.)
Maybe brings a few flowers or something small, especially if you guys already knew each other. He would try a nice gesture but nothing to crazy, just something sweet and simple.
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⭒❃.✮:▹A/N: It's been FOREVER since I posted actual writing. I apologize if this makes no sense or is stupid, this has been in my drafts forever and I never really went back over it before now. I've been out of ideas so plz request something! I will literally write for anyone about anything (in reason)
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theother-victoria · 6 months
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been thinking of street racing with aventurine bc I imagine he’d like the thrill of it too…
tags: not proofread, I typed this out in tumblr drafts, some suggestive comments, flirting, gn reader, I don't know anything about street racing so pls forgive any inaccuracies, banter (they're so silly)
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Aventurine, who pulls up to the race in an edgy and sleek sports car, drawing the attention of everyone else there- yours included.
You lean against the side of your car, watching him as he leaves opponent after opponent in the dust. He's skilled, you'll give him that. From the aggressive driving style and the make and model of the car, you're betting it's just some bored teenage boy with daddy's money to burn, but you'd be lying if you said you weren't at least a little bit curious about the person behind the wheel.
A few easy wins later that night and you're slated to race against him. He takes his sweet time pulling up to the finish line, but to your surprise, he rolls his window down for the first time that night and you're able to get a good look at him. He's no teenage boy but he has the same mischievous look that implies he's up to no good.
"Checking me out already?" he remarks, his (captivating) eyes twinkling in delight, although they're hidden behind his sunglasses. "And I thought I'd for sure be the one to make the first move."
Oh, so he's a flirt too. You can barely hear him over the loud purring of his expensive and modded car's engine and you know tonight's race will be a tight one.
"I see you've got money. What's a rich boy like you doing all the way out here?"
His grin widens.
"Ooh, you’re sharp. I like that and the way you talk.”
"Why don't you tell me who you are first?"
He laughs and shakes his head. He rolls up the window, much to your irritation, but not before saying one last thing and sending a wink your way.
"If you win, I'll tell you who I am. How does that sound?"
Damn. No other choice but to accept since the race is about to start.
You end up losing, but just barely. You had to push your car to its limits and he wasn't above playing dirty too, giving you a couple of close calls throughout. Although, he at least didn't endanger your life like some others have in the past, so you'll give him that.
After the race ends, you pull into a brightly-lit gas station with some people there. Shortly after, another car pulls up next to you and he steps out.
"Not bad, not bad," he says, clapping lightly. "It's not often that I find someone that can at least keep up with me, much less overtake me a couple times."
"So you were following me."
He raises his hands as a mock display of innocence.
"Hey, relax! Don't be so hostile! I just wanted to get to know you a bit better, that's all. Besides, you wanted to know who I am, right?"
You watch as he scribbles something onto a business card.
"Wasn't that only applicable if I won?"
"Eh, I've changed my mind now," he says, handing the card to you. "I don't make deals that don’t pay off and I'd consider it a loss if I didn't get at least your number tonight."
"You still didn't answer my original question. What's someone like you doing all the way out here? Surely you have more important matters to attend to, right?"
He laughs.
"Wow, you really don't know who I am, huh?"
"... What's that supposed to mean?"
"Ah, nothing. Just talking to myself. But to answer your question... I suppose it's because I enjoy the thrill of it. It's like gambling. Not knowing whether you'll win or lose, or even live or die. After all, the higher the stakes, the higher the excitement- why're you looking at me like that?"
"… You're insane."
"Sure, sure, sweetheart. I'll pretend that your reasons aren't the same as mine and that the adrenaline rush doesn't excite you every time. Why else would you willingly race, night after night?"
With one last wink, he gets into his car and drives away. You finally glance at the business card, only to do a double take and gape at it in shock when you realize its contents.
Aventurine, one of the IPC's Ten Stonehearts? No way... this guy's an IPC exec?
You don't know whether to feel proud about the fact that you got an IPC executive's number without trying or humiliated about the whole exchange...
There's a winking smiley face and an "call me xoxo" written next to the phone number.
And against your better judgement, you do just that.
He turns out to be an interesting companion. You'd think that with his demanding position, he'd be traveling all over the galaxy every day- which is true, to an extent, but he's always there for your weekly races and frequently drags you out shopping with him. He teaches you how to play poker and how to count your cards, if you didn't know how to already. He then tries to get you to play a round or two against him, which you promptly refuse each time.
("I spent all that time teaching you how to play and this is what I get in return? Boo, you're no fun. But a round or two never hurt anyone, right?"
"Aventurine, even a round or two is a surefire way to go into debt to you. Absolutely not."
He pouts and grumbles like a little kid every time.)
He also pays for additional mods to your car. When you try to refuse him, he merely brushes off your concerns.
"Sweetheart, I don't think you understand," he said back then. "I make more in a day than what it costs to mod your car. To me, this is nothing. Besides, I want an opponent who can keep up with me. If you start falling behind, well, then that's no fun for both of us, right?"
One night, there’s a particularly high-stakes race that you’re slated to compete in. The cash prize is one that’s too big for anyone to pass up.
Well, except for Aventurine. That amount of money is probably nothing by his standards.
For once, he’s not racing. When it’s your turn, he waves you over with a teasing smile as you’re getting ready.
“Say, how about raising the stakes for tonight?”
“What now?”
“Let’s make a bet.”
“… Fine.”
“If you win, we go on a date together. My treat, of course. If you lose, then you’ll have to play a round of poker with me.”
There isn’t an ounce of shame in his words. You openly gape at him as he beams at you proudly.
“… What?”
“You heard me.”
“Why though?”
He shrugs.
“Simple. I know this is a bet that will pay off. And I’ve been wanting this to happen for a long time now. So…”
He leans in close, lips teasingly brushing over your ear for a moment.
“Don’t disappoint me. I want to see you try and turn the tides in your favor for this race.”
You pull away from him.
“I accept, but only because I am not going into debt because of poker.”
He laughs.
“Go on then, sweetheart. I want to see you leave everyone behind in the dust. Oh, and don’t forget your good luck kiss!”
Aventurine blows a kiss to you. You roll your eyes as you climb into your car. Insufferable, that’s what he is. But if there’s one thing he’s good at, it’s reading people. Meaning he must’ve noticed that you wanted this too.
You roll your neck and focus on the road ahead. The race is about to begin.
That cash prize and date with Aventurine is yours.
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otdiaftg · 6 months
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The King's Men - Chapter Sixteen (18)
Day: Friday, April 5th / 6th* Time: 9:48 PM PST
"Is it over?" Neil's backliner mark gasps out. "Oh, thank god." Neil looks over at Alvarez and is floored to see her smiling. She thrusts a gloved hand his way even as her legs wobble and give out. Neil catches her somehow and helps haul her back to her feet. She props herself against him and scrabbles ineffectually at the straps on her helmet. It takes her a few tries before she realizes her fingers are too numb to manage it. She gives up and taps her helmet against his instead. "Is this what dying feels like?" she asks, and calls over her shoulder, "Babe, I think I'm dying. Do I still have legs? I can't look down. I don't think I have legs. I don't think I'll ever walk again." "Uh-huh," Laila says, trotting over to them. "You'd better figure something out, because you're definitely too heavy for me to carry off this court." "Rude." Alvarez gropes blindly for Laila's shoulder until Laila hooks an arm around her waist and pulls her off Neil. Alvarez is still smiling, that half-crazy too-wide look that reminds Neil a little of Lola and a little of Nicky. Neil tries to remember if she'd been hit in the head at any point tonight but the Foxes had kept the violence within excusable limits. It seemed only fair considering what good sports the Trojans are. "That was fantastic," Alvarez says. "I want to do it again. Next year, maybe, when my legs grow back." "Stop being such a baby," Laila says. "Ignore her," Alvarez says to Neil. "She's just sour because she lost nine goals in forty-five minutes. Don't know why, not like it's a new personal record or—ohhh, it is. Ouch, that's gotta sting a bit. So much for being first-draft." "Bitch," Laila says without any heat. "That's what you get for calling me fat," Alvarez says. She looks back at Neil and gestures past him. "Oops, looks like the party started without you. Go, go, go!" Neil looks over his shoulder to see the Foxes celebrating on the half- court line. He starts to turn toward them, then looks back at Alvarez and Laila. "Your team is terrifying," he says, inspired by Alvarez's enthusiasm to be honest. "We'll be cheering for you next week." Alvarez flashes a thumbs-up, so Neil jogs to meet his team. He hears Alvarez ask how anyone can still run after "the world's longest game", but he figures it is directed at Laila and doesn't slow to hear the answer.
Art used with permission by llstarcasterll. Thank you @llstarcasterll!
*Due to the Leap Year, I have opted to highlight the day rather than the date to keep the events in occurrence to the 2007 year. I will continue to mark both days accordingly.
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hollyhomburg · 1 month
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Have you ever considered writing a regency au story? I feel like you would be amazing at it especially since your attention to detail is immaculate.
oh! i actually have a tiny little idea in my drafts- i will just post it here because i don't know if i'll ever finish it. Most of this was written after I watched the last season of Bridgeton. full transparency- this has no ending so be prepared to get to the end and want more. tw for spanking, age gap, themes of innocence and virginity and purity, marking, pack stuff and polyamory, also mentioned miscarrage!
Unnamed Regency Au (knj x reader) (backround ot7 x reader)
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-I wanna write horny guilt with alpha duke namjoon in a bridgerton style a/b/o au who ends up in an arranged marriage with omega m/c only- dukes are allowed to take as many packmates as they want if they’re of lower status, but they are not allowed to mate or have pups with them.
-(although he had gotten a bit of untoward attention when he’d dragged viscount Jung along and convinced him and his omega to take up with him. alpha x alpha relationships are a little bit more taboo in this universe but tolerated on account of namjoon's rank)
-duke namjoon has no omega of his own despite the omegas in his pack- so he does what is expected of his station, finds one of good breeding, a true diamond untouched by all of the most pure hands only- has lived in a house of betas all her life, maybe he starts to court her but then can’t back out for this or that reason. but after a manufactured scandal where the mcs scheming mama or perhaps the queen- demands that namjoon marry her to save her standing-
-or else.
-And namjoon thinks, out of all the worse things, getting her away from people who clearly don’t have her best interest at heart- cannot be the worst. They've met and talked and danced together countless times over the season. if it weren't for her youth and the fact that it is her first year on the marriage mart, Namjoon would have little objection at marrying her. at least thats what his packmates tell him.
-and they're right, there is little reason why he should object only,
-it’s the hunger he feels watching her that has him keeping his distance. It feels like something feral, something dirty. namjoon is a gentleman but he feels his honor hanging by a thread every time he dares go near her. every time he catches her sweet scent on the air, a scent that no alpha has been allowed to smell but him.
-maybe thats how they meet- at the first ball of the season and namjoon cannot keep himself from telling the unmated omega how to apply the balmy scent blockers maybe even...helping her apply it. namjoon's fingers rubbing against her sensitive scent glands. A touch that burns and seems to stick to his hands for hours and hours and weeks after- until they meet again at another ball- and she very eagerly tells him- a good omega- eager to please eager to be good- that she's learned! isn't he proud! he doesn't need to protect her from any 'alphas of unscrupulous nature with improper delights on their mind' like he said before.
-nevermind the fact that one of those alpha's with improper delights stands right infront of her. An omega’s scent should be reserved only for their pack and husband, and yet- this unmatched omega- their scent is all namjoon can think about. It has his alpha clambering, begging to break free.
-Namjoon does protect her, keeping alphas away from her, any of them that would make a match to her. even if as he watches her from the shadows, a feral hunger unbecoming of a duke or civilized alpha building with every giggle.
-and then once they're married, you'd think that namjoon's guilt would be easier to bare, that he would feel better about taking what he is owed as mate and husband but...he doesn't break.
-Namjoon can’t think of debasing her, barely even kisses her on their wedding night, keeps her safe and pressed- just so- within the packs lavish country home where she wants for nothing accept her alphas company.
-the estate is wide and sprawling, with many many miles of gardens and wooded trails that keep her occupied and happy and…as far away from her husband as it takes for namjoon to stop feeling like he’s going to pop a knot in his britches if she so much as leans into him.
-And the rest of the pack! Namjoon has such a large pack- so against fashion. the m/c didn't meet any of them besides viscount jung when they where in town. There is no shortage of company at namkjoon's estate- either jiminie who wisks her away to measure her up for country dresses (thin and sheer- to tease the alpha)- jimin is viscount Jung’s omega- who was the omega of the house prior to her and namjoon’s mating (and who honestly still takes over most of the responsibilities of running the estate, only too happy to show the m/c the ropes and praise her for her choices in redecorating the lavender nesting room.
-and he's only mute to her quiet confidance- the young omega wife has many questions like- Why does her husband barely look in her direction? Why doesn’t he hold her hand or touch her cheek or take her on long romantic country walks like she reads in her novels.
-The only time he touches her is during balls- when the host and hostess are bound by duty to start the first dance, and namjoon’s eyes burn into her the whole while. His touches never wander, his hands never dip more than is appropriate or cling to her lialac colored skirts.
-she feels a little touch starved, a little unloved- but jimin tries to make up for it (and then scolds namjoon for it when he can sneak out of the nest room late at night and tell him off for not giving her affection. "She's freshly mated namjoon, her bond is still healing- if you don't sweeten on her omega- then they may reject you and the bond- regardless of what she and you both want. you don't want to make her mating mark sick namjoon- trust me, you don't" maybe jimin's hand hovers on his neck, and hoseok looks on, a darkness in his eyes that can't be helped by time
-(i'm thinking for their backstory, shortly after they mated hobi was sent away to war as commander, and because of the distance it was far harder on jimin adjusting to the mating mark, maybe they even lost their first pup because jimin's body was all screwed up- i know it's angsty but shush)
-She’s fast friends with the youngest packmate too- jungkook- who is more…casual with her than namjoon should allow. Jungkook is the only one whose not of noble birth- originally hired as stable hand and then earning the title of lord and a spot in namjoon’s pack after saving the alpha and the queens heir from a runaway horse.
-jungkook is…charming, shows her how to feed the horses sugar cubes and she shows him how to braid their hair- and then asks if she’ll braid his- long as it is. Although the others tease and he gets more than one long look from the staff over dinner, jungkook wears it all night.
-Jungkooks countinance is different than baron Tae- who delights her with tea and cakes and fine silks when he’s back from his travels, sweet sugary treats from cities far away. “Can I come with you next time you go?” Is immediately met with a “no” from namjoon, the tips of his ears red and his scent souring, he immediately excuses himself with a short “forgive me, I have some business to attend too with the viscount”
-that business happens to be pulling hoseokie into one corner of the manor and biting out his frustration- both sexual and otherwise, down the other alphas throat. “What do I do Seokie, how do i…be gentle when my alpha doesn’t want to be. I don’t want to hurt her.”
-“Bed her already namjoon and be done with it”
-“But her virtue-”
-“Namjoon, she is your wife and mate”
-“She’s barely out of pup hood hoseok”
-“As was jimin when we where wed,” viscount jung hesitates, “I do not believe you capable of the violence you are so scared of, namjoon you would not hurt a fly”
-“But-“
-“Enough, to bed with you to settle your nerves” hoseok doesn’t often get away with ordering namjoon around but just this once namjoon lets him.
-or prince min, another alpha and 30th in line for the throne that is countries away, who firmly takes her on those long walks she so desires to take with her husband, promenading with his strong arms wrapped around her waist, so firm and reassuring. Nothing if not proper. squeezes her hand and lets it go when she dares to cradle the scarred alpha's face.
-thats why yoongi was allowed to join namjoon's pack, his disfigurement was deemed too ugly for court, but the m/c doesn't think she's ever seen an alpha more gentle, more beautiful.
-another alpha who doesn't want her.
-“Namjoon has warned us, to be nothing but chaste and gentle with you” “he just wants to be careful with your virtue pup” “why? When my virtue is his?” “He’s a very, traditional alpha, he wants to do right by you and wait until you’re ready” "does he think me so young, so fragile that I cannot make the choice of if I am ready or not myself?”
-Okay so I know it’s horny, but is love if she got a little mouthy and yoongi was motivated to take her over his thigh and show her how disobedient omega's are treated in their household. her skirt and petty coat pulled up, tears in her eyes and slick on her thighs as he gives her gentle taps. She doesn't understand why her tummy feels so tight, why she feels so upset over it but also- petulant, needy.
-when he sets her down and pulls her skirts back in order and wipes her tears with his handkerchief and then drags her in for a quick nip to her scent gland. leaving her dizzy and nearly in heat from how good it feelt to have an alpha /touch/ her. nothing at all like how it felt to have the other omega's touch her.
-and she goes back a little teary eyed. a little upset, but jimin is there and she just laughs alone with tae tae when she talks about maybe /liking it/ and wanting yoongi to do it again but she doesn't understand. maybe both of them make her tell them and renact it out what yoongi did to her, all teaseing and falsely concerned. and both of them tell her that she's asking them when she should really be asking her husband, really, alpha has forbidden them from corrupting her.
-as if she wasn't already corrupted after they asked her to show them what yoongi did to her, hiking up her dress to show her reddened bottom, unsure why she's blushing, why their huffs of breath as they bend to look make her hands shake and her knees knit togeather.
-and of course that night, namjoon hears about it but can't really fault yoongi for punishing her, when he was especially gentle and maybe she's seen jimin get spanked before and had been explained the consequences of talking back because she "wanted to be treated as a full member of their pack"
-and maybe namjoon sneaks into her room to watch over her at night she lies awake. Wanting to turn and greet her husband but the one time she does…he runs, so she pretends to sleep while he sits in her sitting room and watches. His presence soft and so protective it makes her drowsy.
-sometimes one of the others catch him- hoseoks omega jimin who often sneaks into her room to nest with her, jimin in his fine silks that namjoon bought for him by the door, sharing a chaste evening scenting. “How is she?” namjoon is too hungry for information about her, too hungry for other things- which is why he must keep his distance.
-“She’s lonely your grace” “we’ve known each other for long enough jiminie” the same chide as always,
-“joon,” jimîn says, leaning against the doorway, “she’s curious, and I fear what secrets she will go about uncovering without her alphas hand to guide her in the right direction,” “jungkookie can-“
-“jungkook is nothing more than a pup and you know it, what kind of message will it send if you do not take what the queen has demanded is yours” and namjoon leans over her bed to get his hand on her cheek and it’s a struggle for her to keep her eyes closed and breathing undisturbed when he cups her cheek, long fingers skimming over it.
-“Can you really blame me? Look how peaceful she looks, how lovely, surely you cannot fault me for cherishing it, she looks so unbothered by ideals of love and my own short comings” “namjoon” namjoon smiles, sad,
-“every time I see her I want to draw her close, it’s maddening.”
-“So you stay far away?”
-"So i stay far far away."
(The only thing truly stoping me at this point is time- I don’t have time to give this the story it deserves)
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julianalvarez9 · 1 year
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CHANGE YOUR MIND / MASON MOUNT
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SUMMARY: You never really liked Mason Mount, even before he came to your club. Turns out, he's a very persuasive man, who will do everything he can to change your mind.
PAIRING: mason mount x ten hag!reader
WORD COUNT: 1.3k
WARNINGS: mason is a lovesick fool, use of ten hag as a plot device i'm so sorry
AUTHOR'S NOTE: it's been agesssss since i've posted something, so here's this! (something's that's been sitting in my drafts and i didn't dare finish for almost a month!). would reallyyyy love some feedback!
Your eyes go wide at the sight of him, resting calmly over the cap of his car, hands hiding inside his pockets. Mason looks straight out of a movie; one where the protagonist is waiting for his lover outside of their home. You try to not think about that, or about the warm feeling in your chest, as you angrily make your way towards him.
Once you reach him, you're ready to voice your concerns about his presence in your parents' home. "What are you doing here?".
The urgency in your voice only made the Englishman grin harder, if that was even possible.
He shrugs, clearly not preoccupied about the matter. "Came to see a friend, offer her a ride to work". You roll your eyes, annoyed, because obviously, this is Mason. This is the same insufferable guy you've got to know for months now, ever since he signed for Manchester United.
By looking at the watch on your wrist, and knowing your dad's entire routine, you know you two are running out of time.  "C'mon, Mount, you need to leave!", you urge, and he tilts his head in confusion. "What? Why?," as if his entire life, at least, sport related, wasn't threatened by the man about to walk out the door.
"Did you hit yourself on the way here? Did you happen to forget who I live with?".
He shrugs, again, claiming "I don't mind". A second after, "he actually likes me. More than you do, at least". It's not the first snarky remark he throws your way, but it's still too early for you to pretend he hasn't got a special capacity for getting under your skin.
"I'd like to see if he continues to like you when he sees you talking to his daughter in his front yard".
You're right about that.
Yeah, Mason is your dad's new shiny toy, awarding him with being a constant feature in the starting eleven in every United game, but you doubt he'd be alright with whatever he's trying to do. After all, he never liked any of your past boyfriends, or friends who he -somehow- recognized as undeserving of his little girl, his only daughter. "I think he will," Mason says confidently, "I'm actually a great son-in-law, you know?".
You swear it is too early in the morning to have rolled your eyes the number of times you have in his presence, during the past three minutes. You ask, hopeful that the sly remark works to get him off your back. "Has being this cocky actually helped you, in some way?".
When his smile falters, you grin. It's probably the first time he doesn't have something, anything, to hit back, and you consider it a win for your side. "It did," he answers truthfully a beat after, and now his smile is bigger than ever. "Look, you're smiling at me".
You try, hard, to stop your cheeks from going red, but the way you can't really hold his stare any longer is a win for him. He basks in this feeling, knowing himself to be able to make you nervous must be a good sign, right?
At least, he hopes so.
"Okay, stop fucking around or you'll be late," you warn, coming close enough to him to push him off the hood of his car, and towards the driver's door. You try to ignore the way your fingers burn after touching him, deciding not to acknowledge the warning signs that something had changed in the past few weeks. You don’t despise him nearly as much, but you’re not keen on the idea of him knowing about it. Yet.
Mason opens the door of his car, and gets in. You nervously watch back, to the entrance door, after seeing what time it is. 9:13 AM. Your father will be out the door, any second now.
You hope that, the next time you look to the street, the car will be gone, and any trace of the Englishman vanished, like a dream. But instead, when you turn again, the tinted window of his car is down, and he's looking mischievously at you. "Already caring for me? that's new, Ten Hag".
"Go away, Mount".
Hearing the door open, just a few seconds after seeing Mason's car disappear from your street, makes your blood turn cold. The piercing question from your father doesn't make things better. "What are you doing over there?". There’s nothing you could possibly say that will convince your father, and saying the truth isn’t a possibility right now; so, instead, you defuse the question. "Nothing, nothing. Are you ready to leave now?".
The way to Trafford Training Centre is quiet. Your father isn't one to talk much normally, but the silence squishes you until you feel like you're holding your breath. He knows, you're sure, and you’re gonna make Mason pay for it. 
That’s it, if you reach the training ground alive.
"You know, I think Mason is a good kid".
The affirmation is nowhere what you had expected your father to say, so you can’t hide the furrowed brows and defensive tone that comes along with it. "We're in first name base already? Wow, that's new".
The car stops in the red light, and your dad takes the time to turn his head in your direction. He sees your fixed gaze ahead, brows still furrowed, and his head tilts in confusion. "And he's trying really hard to get in your good graces".
"That's not true".
A beat.
"I saw him this morning".
After that, you're left waiting; either, for the disapproving voice in his tone, the yelling, or the pointing out reasons why you shouldn’t be this close to a player, much less someone like him. But instead, he’s silent. And somehow, the silence is scarier.
The air feels thick, and it’s scarily similar to how it feels when a storm is brewing. Hot, too heavy, and like the entire sky is about to fall apart. And a few minutes after, with the car finally parked, and the training center standing tall just a few meters ahead, Erik begins to talk.
“I don’t have a problem with it. Whatever it is”. In other circumstances, you’d laugh at the way he signaled with his hand when saying it, almost like dismissing the entire ordeal, as if he still, so many years after introducing other boyfriends in the past few years -not one that’s worth mentioning, though-, refused to acknowledge that his little girl is not so little anymore.
“I know I always said it’s not a good idea. And I still don’t think it is,” he remarks, but holds a finger up before you can’t argue against what he’s saying, “but, as I said, he’s a good kid. And, most importantly, he’s aware that if he breaks your heart, he won’t play anymore, so-”.
The horror in your eyes must be evident, because he starts laughing before you can tell him off because of his antics. “Dad!”.
“So, you can go out with him. Just don't break his heart, yeah?” You can’t even respond because he gets off the car then, taking his things with him before closing the car door. Yes, you come in together, but since you insist on keeping family business out of the club, Erik begins making his way in alone.  “Could really use my star player having a great season".
In the distance, you can see Mason; he’s smiling widely, with a coffee cup in his hand, and standing just by the door. He opens it, to let your dad in, and you shake your head in feign disapproval.  “Right, Mount?,” Erik calls, alluding to his previous statement; the one he can’t possibly have heard, given how far he was when he said the words. Between the three of you, you’re not the only one that knows that it’s a test, so Mason answers accordingly.
“Yes, sir, of course”.
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kerubimcrepin · 5 months
Text
Dofus: The Production - what is left of the old movie
Originally, the movie was supposed to tie in with the game and the Welsh & Shedar series, and be a trilogy.
As we had already explored on this blog, this did not happen for a variety of reasons.
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Welsh and Shedar got cannibalized by other projects due to its cancellation, and the script of the movie "Dofus Book 1: Joris Jurgen" had to be completely rewritten from its old plot;
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In that movie, Joris was likely supposed to be a street urchin, who survived together with Lilotte, who was a rogue, and the trailer we have for the older version of the movie reflects that:
As we can also see from the trailer, and the poster featured earlier, proto-Kerubim is also a part of the movie, and Khan was not yet meant to be a boufbowler.
(And considering the posters, the cat that inspired Kerubim's design was also a part of the movie. I wonder if it's related to Welsh's cat from Welsh and Shedar? But maybe I'm just crazy.)
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Subsequently, the movie came out at a much later date than planned originally.
(two images included because, bizarrely, there are two versions - one with Joris's tail censored, and the other with his tail uncensored. This proves that already at this point they had a draconic backstory in mind for him, though we do know that at the time of Wakfu season 1 (and, likely, the cancelled DS game, as was noted in my post about it) it was not the case.)
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Also, interestingly, it is the only art of this time to include the tail. A possible error on Xa's part, or something that was considered very briefly?
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In the end, Kerubim (as well as Simone) swallowed up not just the design of Welsh's cat, clothes, and Ecaflip friend;
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He also got the role Julith was supposed to have, both metaphorically, and also literally.
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Or not entirely — considering the fact that Joris was supposed to spend time with him anyway, since we have art of Joris on his mount from that old draft.
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It's quite interesting, to think of all that could have been different in the 2009-2012 version of the movie!
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But even during the making of the second draft of the movie, a lot of things have changed. From the first idea of Joris winning Kerubim back at a pachinko machine, to the concept art of Joris's non-possessed appearance.
The movie was being actively rewritten at the time of the making of Aux Tresors, so some of the early drafts were already tied in with its canon — taking place in Astrub, to be specific — but not with its ending, because the show was still ongoing.
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At one point there was supposed to be a whole cast of Huppermage characters, and judging from the fact one of them is mentioned in the following text, they did play some sort of role in the plot:
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It is likely that from this early draft it was decided that Joris would be a boufbowl fan, which was then worked in as a plot point in Aux Tresors.
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(Stélina may be a proto-version of Bakara.)
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It also seems that at this stage, it would be likely that Lilotte was reworked to be the Princess of Bonta, before eventually becoming the Ouginak we know and love.
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After this Ankama once again returned to the concept of Lilotte as an orphan, though — even when the movie was still set in Astrub!
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And it seems that the draft involved travel between Astrub and Bonta, judging from the usage of a Zaap to attack Luis.
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And even at this point they have come up with the tragically cut "Joris and Khan go to adult industry workers and Joris (10yo boy) engages in depressed underaged drinking" scene.
(I'll never forgive Ankama for cutting this. I still argue that it's in character for Khan, our detested/beloved turbovirgin, to do this — as long as he doesn't get together with any of the women due to thinking himself "too good" for them.)
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Also, at some point the gods were supposed to play a role. And personally, I am glad it was cut — it feels a bit too grand for the first movie in what was supposed to be a series.
I don't have any grand statement, or conclusion, but it is interesting to see all the ways the movie has changed.
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solarmorrigan · 8 months
Note
Actually infertile omega!Steve for the WIP ask thing
Y'know what, you're the only person who's asked about this and this has been sitting in my drafts for months and I don't think I'm ever going to develop it past this point, so! I'm just gonna give you the whole thing
Fair warning, I did write this in the midst of an anxiety attack sometime after one in the morning. It's been edited! But that's pretty much the vibe
[CW: ableism, internalized ableism, uh... sexism? is that a thing I need to warn for in omegaverse? I dunno, it pretty closely mirrors real-world misogynistic views, so heads up]
-
Give me omega Steve who genuinely will never be able to have children. Who is tentatively excited after the Upside Down and Vecna and everything to get out from under his parents' influence and stop taking the harsh, heavy-duty suppressants that he was too young to have ever really been on in the first place and to get to actually be who he is. To get to freely express his designation
And instead he finds out that his body is fucked up and he'll never have a normal fertility cycle and he'll never be able to have kids
Give me Steve being told by a shitty, prejudiced doctor that it's basically all his fault for all the damage he's done to his own body over the years - the head injuries, the broken bones, the mysterious flesh wounds. Clearly these things upset the balance of his Delicate Omega Body and that's why his reproductive system is all fucked up (couldn't possibly have been the extended use of those suppressant drugs during his developmental years, oh no)
And Steve isn't exactly devastated at first, but he does feel ashamed. He only admits what's happened to Robin and no one else, and no matter how indignant she gets on his behalf, no matter how hard she tries to push him to get a second opinion, he refuses. He doesn't want to hear how bad he's fucked up from anyone else, thank you very much
The devastation dawns on him later, in stages. It occurs to him slowly what he'll never be able to do, the ways in which he'll always be othered by a society that often still values omegas for their fertility, the way his dream of a big family has been completely shattered
And it occurs to him that he'll never be considered a good mate, damaged in so many ways, unable to even offer children in exchange for whatever other shortcomings he has - which means that as soon as Eddie starts showing interest in him, he has to shut it down as quickly as possible
Because of course Eddie's going to want a family one day, and Steve thinks he'll be a great alpha and a great dad, and he deserves that - he deserves someone who can give him that, who can give him all the things A Good Omega should. So no matter how much Steve wants to be with Eddie, no matter how safe and at ease he feels around him, he can't let Eddie think he's a viable option, and pulls away
And Eddie - well, look, if Steve really doesn't want him, then he'll respect that. He can take no for an answer. But Steve has never really given him a clear no so much as he just started distancing himself. Making himself unavailable, no longer sitting next to Eddie when the whole group hangs out, no longer unconsciously curling into his side on movie nights, just - ghosting, essentially. And that, Eddie will not take
So he confronts Steve; he's not aggressive about it, of course, but he makes it clear that he's not leaving until he gets a straight answer. Tells Steve he's been getting some real mixed signals, and does he want Eddie or not?
Steve says Eddie doesn't want him. Eddie calls bullshit. Of course he wants Steve, he's never wanted anything, anyone, in his life like he wants Steve
But if Steve can look Eddie in the eye and tell him that he doesn't want to be with Eddie, then Eddie will go
And Steve - he's never been a good liar. Not when it comes to feelings. He's never been able to lie about that, so he breaks down and admits the truth, instead: he's a fucked up excuse for an omega, he can't have kids, he doesn't really even know how to do the social shit omegas are supposed to know how to do, so. There. So Eddie shouldn't want him
And Eddie is horrified. Not because Steve is "broken," but because of all the hurt he's taken on over the years, because of the way he seems to think it's all his fault, because he thinks his only worth as a mate is in bearing kids or caring for others. As if anything like that would put Eddie off - as if Steve has nothing else to offer
It's a slow process, after that, getting Steve to accept that he's desirable for who he is and not what he can do
It starts with Robin and Eddie teaming up on Steve and eventually getting him to go to another doctor, a better doctor, who promises Steve that what happened to his system is in no way his fault. It goes on with constant reassurance, which Eddie never minds providing (dramatic little shit honestly loves the opportunity to wax rhapsodic about whatever he loves, which very much includes Steve), with an unconditional acceptance from the rest of the group, with the realization that Steve already has a big family (and multiple children; like, seriously. how did he miss that. Eddie loves to tease him about it)
And eventually, when they're ready, it goes on still with the promise that they can adopt, or consider surrogacy, or just kidnap their friends' pups (Steve laughs at the last one, but Eddie notices that he doesn't say no). There is no right way to do it, no perfect way; as long as Steve just keeps being himself, Eddie will never be disappointed
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yun-fangz · 2 months
Note
HI UM can I hear your hcs for sub!Jongho please 😵‍💫
Oh boy, CAN YOU.
This has been the easiest ask response of my life…. I am very passionate about sub!jongho yup yup. i also have more versions but this is the softer more tame ver. he's really so versatile i can't just pinpoint him as one kind of sub
warnings: mentions of spanking, pegging lol
(A/n) I could’ve swore i answered this (maybe in my head) or i just never saved the draft/posted… whoops!
18+ mdni, hcs are under the cut !
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The cutest most adorable baby ever
very obedient and shy
He flushes so easily, his ears and chest turning a bright red at just a couple of words/actions
He seems so confident in himself but it's so easy to break him down into a puddle.
Super sensitive! both emotionally and physically
especially his nipples, he can nearly cum just from them being toyed with
It's not easy to manhandle him, considering how big he is compared to you, but he loves it when you just have your way with him
did i mention pillow PRINCE!
loves to lay back or be in whatever position, as long as he's feeling good
he's super bashful at first, hiding his reddened cheeks and muffling his whines and moans
it doesn't take long for your praises to coax him out of his shell though, soon he has no shame letting out noises or asking for what he wants
don't spoil him too much though, he can be a greedy and bratty little thing
not big on choking on anything of that sort
however if you give a couple spanks (read; a lot) he'll be a crying and babbling mess
he just has such a nice ass i just want to knead it and play with it all day like a sensory toy
a dirty secret of his..... hmmmm
pegging 🤫
he used to think it was so dirty and demeaning but fuck, after the first time he couldn't get enough
he's never came so hard in his life
even when he's not getting fucked, put a little something there (plug/vibe) and he's a GONER.
he likes it especially when you're fucking him and playing with the soft flesh of his ass
LOVES praise
tell him how good he's taking you and see how fast he can shoot one
he's satiated pretty easily, only needing one or two rounds before tapping out
it is however very easy for him to get riled up, he gets off almost daily
overall he's just a dream boy
be careful though not to spoil him too much, let him get comfortable enough and he can be a bratty and teasing baby
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(a/n): sorry if i went a lil overboard or put some stuff you didn't like, a lot of this stuff is me projecting. lmk what you think and please send more sub!jongho, he's my favorite. i also have twt links that i might add into my main jongho twt link post so lmk if you're interested in that too 😪
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bananadramaaa · 1 month
Note
Helloo!
I have a question about the assassin duo, although I didn't think that was the focus of your AU, sorry about that. I was researching a little more about Mimzy on the fandom website, created by Habzin Hotel fans (I know the information there is not entirely reliable, but anyway), i discovered that in Vivizziepop's drafts she had created the characters Alastor and Mimzy as a couple (which I found a bit hilarious considering how they appear in the series in the final project XD) And I was wondering if you agree with this characteristic of the story. In your AU, would you say that Mimzy has already seen Alastor or still sees him as something more than a friend?
Again, sorry for getting off topic by asking, as the AU is more about Alastor's story and his murders throughout his life. I just asked to hear your opinion on this, I didn't mean to bother you.
Have a nice day! <3
(The translation may sound strange, I don't speak English)
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Vivizziepop's sketches photo
Hi! Firstly I wanna quickly say that this AU is not specifically about Alastor, it's about them both. You may see more of his backstory in my blog because people were more curious about his past in the asks and that's all. My 'main' comics of this AU are featured both of them and focused on their shenanigans. So you're not getting off-topic, don't worry about that.
Yeah, I also saw that information that they were supposed to be a couple, but as far as I know, that changed. But I can see Mimzy has feelings for Alastor, that's absolutely possible 🤷 And we got the confirmation that Alastor is ace, so there's also a possibility of his romantic experiments. Personally, I see him more on the aro spectrum and as a repulsed romance/sex aroace because of how he acts in the show (my boy is clearly uncomfortable and annoyed/bored with all of that romantic and sexual stuff), so in my AU, I'm writing him as such (and I'm a repulsed aroace myself so I'm doing what most people do in their AUs/headcanons - unintentionally giving characters some of their experience on certain topics XD). So it was like a one-sided attraction coming from Mimzy in my AU. She was attracted to him because she thought he's a good-looking lad with charms. When they first met at the speakeasy she saw him as a potential "one-night fun time" but not as a long-term romantic one (I think Mimzy is not the most long-term relationship gal in general). Alastor politely refused that offer, which was mentioned in this comic. So no, Mimzy doesn't have romantic feelings towards Alastor in my AU. I mean one of the reasons I tag this story with "murder besties" is because they're very good friends and not in a meme sense, they truly are. So if there's any kind of love between these two it's platonic one.
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playmiya · 2 months
Text
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chapter three: world is a fuck previous ⎯ masterlist ⎯ next
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Atsumu's running one hand through his hair and shoving the mask in his bag with another has he sprints up the stairs of Otsuka.
One of the newer, nicer dorms of the Uni, he almost feels jealous of his building, characterised by its old architecture and patchy Wi-Fi. His knee hurts from where the thief from earlier managed to land a kick, but he pushes on, wiping away blood from a stray cut on his cheek and hoping it's not a deep wound.
He throws the door open to the common room, surprisingly empty at 8PM on a Tuesday, to see your figure intensely taping your knuckles as you wince. Your eyes flit up to his, and you fumble with the tape until it stretches into a long line, hanging from your hand. You gaze at the cut on his cheek, and he stares at your hand til he clears his throat.
"My cat knocked over a bowl."
"My dog's got way too much energy."
You giggle, and he laughs, feeling more comfortable as he drops his backpack at the door and moves closer to the couch you were lazing on.
"You must be Atsumu," you say, offering him your free hand, which he takes. "And you're [Name]?", he asks, giving you a once over. He can't help but appreciatively admire you, which doesn't go unnoticed.
"Are you seriously checking me out right now?", you gasp, wrangling your hand from his. He falls into his witty, charming ways almost immediately.
"If art's staring right at ya, would ya not admire it?", he drawls, and you roll your eyes in mock annoyance, unable to hide the way your lips quirk up in amusement, despite the cringe.
"You must say that to every girl you meet. A little bird tells me that you meet a lot," you speak, settling into the couch as he pulls up a chair in front of you.
"I didn't know this was an interview into my personal life," Atsumu responds in faux shock, pleasantly surprised by your directness.
"Well, that's really what's getting the views for us, isn't it?", you say, flipping your moleskin notebook open and clicking your glittery pink pen.
"I'm being objectified and I don't like it," Atsumu jokes and you make a laugh, scrunching your nose in the process.
"And no, I don't. Say that to every girl I meet. Just to sassy editors that bite back," he adds, and you have to fight the weird feeling in your stomach to continue this interview in a more ... professional manner.
Clearing your throat, you ask him if he's ready to be recorded, and after his assent, you start.
"Okay, rapid-fire questions now. Please answer with the first thing that comes to mind." He shoots you a thumbs up.
"Greatest accomplishment?"
"So far? Repping Japan at the U19 Worlds."
"What are you grateful for?"
"Myself", he smirks, and you fight the urge to roll your eyes again.
"Dream dinner guest?"
"Myself 20 years from now. To see if I've made it."
"Do you want to be famous?"
"I already am."
"Current concern?"
Washing the blood out of my suit. "If my roommate left me any dinner."
"What song did you last listen to?"
"2 soon by keshi."
"What's a secret skill that you have?"
I can shoot webs from my wrists! "I'm really good at skincare."
"Okay," you murmur, scribbling as he spoke. He feels like peering over and reading what you wrote. "Longer questions now."
"How do you manage your time between being a student and an athlete, as well as enjoying campus life?"
I don't, is what he wants to say. He barely hangs on by a thread — or a web, if you will — taking each day as it comes and knowing that as Spider-Man, he'll always need to have excuses up his sleeve to run from one commitment to another. Instead, he blabs about schedules and planning and using Notion, which in reality scares the shit out of him.
"What do you think about the current competition in the volleyball circuit? Are there any players who you think could bump you down the rankings at the draft?"
"Everyone's good," he says slowly, considering his words, and then a lazy smirk settles on his face. "But I'm the best."
"Riiight," you intone, writing something down. "You do know this is being published?", you add, and he hums. "I said what I said."
"What are your opinions on the current safety concerns on-campus?"
He shrugs nonchalantly. "I still gotta do what I gotta do. We got Spider-Man. He'll protect us."
You raise an eyebrow. "All the time? Don't you think we should take matters into our own hands?"
Atsumu's taken aback by your response. He knows reactions towards Spider-Man are extreme; some hate him, while others love him, but this is new.
"Has he ever let us down?"
"Well, yeah. He let a Five Guys get absolutely demolished by Electro last week, Rhino ran through a block in May, and everyone knows about Tokyo tower—"
He has to hide the burn in his cheeks from the embarrassment of Tokyo Tower, remembering the humiliation of that evening. "Yeah, well, some may say he was trying to protect everyone from heart attacks by letting that Five Guys get destroyed, and that Rhino thing was just police negligence if you think about it," he protests, and you scowl.
"He's a good hero, sure, but not the hero. We need more than just one guy swinging around to keep Tokyo safe."
He's about to open his mouth when he feels the hair on his arm raise, and that awful feeling of something cold creeping up his spine settle into his bones. His phone beeps with an alert, and he sees Osamu's text flash across the screen. Fire in a mall nearby. Suspected work of an arsonist.
He doesn't notice your phone light up, and Yachi sending you the screenshot of a headline along with a location, and the way you begin squirming in your seat, wanting nothing more to finish this interview now.
Atsumu beats you to it, making the worst excuse he's possibly ever come up with.
"I'm having an attack of explosive diahhrea."
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taglist: @diorzs @egoistars @southernfrogprincesd @dazqa @milesmoralesluvs @she-lovesmyheartshapedsunglasses @dailyakira @giocriedpower @punkhazardlaw @loverlunaire
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leebrontide · 2 years
Text
Ok so I said I would do a post on “reasons you’re not writing” from the POV of a writer/therapist who works with anxious, depressed, and neurodivergent clients. If you dig that, read on.
But firstly, a disclaimer. This list is far from comprehensive. Don’t yell at me if your experience isn’t represented. This is a tumblr post. Have realistic expectations.
Also, sometimes the reason you’re not writing is that your other obligations are just taking all of your energy and focus. Fixing that is well beyond the scope of this.
That said, here’s a bunch of barriers I see people run into all the time.
1) You’re afraid of failing, and subconsciously feel like it’s safer not to try.
This is a tricky one, because it's probably messing up many areas of your life, which in turn means you're going to frequently feel stressed out in general, which speaks to the point above.
This is around about where the general internet will tend to offer you an array of affirmations to use to sooth yourself. And that's fine. If those work for you, then use them! BUT, if the affirmations aren't working, then friend you have a bigger project on your hands.
You need to get comfortable with failing, particularly at creative projects. I know that can feel scary and vulnerable, but you won't take risks if you can't fail, which is going to hem in your creativity so hard that your motivation will starve. This is why people talk about writing a garbage draft. Not because they want to make garbage, but because they need the option of making garbage in order to take risks. That may or may not work for you, but either way, you really might wanna look at how to lower your stakes.
2) You’re not sure what you’re trying to communicate.
You can make things happen in the story, but you feel like you’re wandering around aimlessly. You don't find you're making decisions with conviction. It might be hard to really fall in love with any of your writing decisions.
For this one, I suggest stepping back and figuring out what the core of your enthusiasm for a story consists of. That CAN be a message or philosophy. It can also be a feeling or a vibe or a dynamic. That gives you a structure that you can build your decisions around, that you can be enthusiastic about.
3) You switched hyperfocus. And maybe your new hyperfocus is a lot of fun, but you feel sadness thinking about the WIP you left behind.
This one has a similar need to the one before, with an added layer of nuance, because you're probably already struggling with identifying what does interest you. This can make people feel really hopeless and helpless.
I have three totally different suggestions for this one. The first is to just be patient with yourself. Sometimes it's good for your brain to just indulge, and let your brain mine for dopamine where it can. Like, lean in. Spa day for your brain, as long as it's feeling good.
Secondly, see if you can find creative ways to weave your hyperfocus into your writing. Is there a dynamic in your favorite show that can inspire your writing, even if it's an original work? Do you want to take a moment to think about how transportation works in the history of your world? Can you consider your MCs relationship to old movies?
It doesn't always work, but sometimes instead of trying to switch things over, you can build a bridge, that gives depth and texture to your work.
Finally- consider embracing short fiction! Do some writing inspired directly by the hyperfocus du joir while it's around.
4) You feel like nothing you say will be interesting to anyone else.
We understand this is a self-esteem issue, right? You're gonna have to develop the trust that your experiences are not so utterly unrelatable to everyone else that your perspective has no value.
Friend, you are a human, with human experiences, writing for other humans. Trust me, you can do this.
It can help to think about your actual convictions. What do you know? What have you experienced? What matters to you? Funnily enough, the cure for feeling like nothing in you is worth expressing is to pour more of yourself into your writing.
5) You’re collapsed. It’s hard to feel enthusiasm and energy for things.
You're not gonna like this, but for this one I encourage you to put your keyboard or notebook down and stop trying to write right now. I know that when you're feeling better the writing feels good, and you're trying to feel better because everyone is telling you to feel better.
But it's not working, is it? If it was, you wouldn't be reading this.
For many people, writing requires them to be able to feel investment and excitement, because those feelings help steer them towards what's going to work and be exciting for the reader.
Your best bet is to focus your energy on finding gentle little activities that aren't so hard to focus on. Ideally, ones that get you moving just a little bit. You'll have a better time writing when you're less collapsed.
Shaming yourself and getting hopeless and anxious because you can't do this really difficult task right now will make you more collapsed, not less, which will be the opposite of helpful.
And yes, these are depression symptoms. Consider reaching out for supports and assessment around that if you can.
6) You can’t figure out the next step.
Thank God for the internet, this one is a lot more actionable than it used to be.
The first thing to do here is step back and ask yourself "where am I getting lost?" If you have someone to talk this through with, even better.
Then you hop on to your favorite search engine and type in "Stuck on my outline 2nd act" or "can't get started editing" or whatever. People LOVE giving writing advice. There's plenty around. Read some advice! Try things out!
Now here is the critical point- when and if that advice fails, stop and figure out why it failed. For example, I have a short term memory disorder. Most writing process advice is for people who do not have short term memory impairments. So a lot of the advice just plain didn't work for me.
By figuring out that my subpar memory was in the way of my writing process, I was able to put together processes that work for my specific brain and my specific process. You can read about that in more depth here and here.
Frankenstien yourself a process out of stolen bits of other people's processes, with an understanding of your own personalized needs as the lightning that brings it all to life. If you have even traits of ADHD or autism or other forms of neurodiversity (no diagnosis needed) you might also google "ADHD editing hacks".
Finally, and maybe most importantly, chuck anything that you can't adapt right into the trash. I don't care how great the writer who gave the advice is. That's what works for their life and their brain. You have neither. Writing advice is only as useful as it is adaptable.
7) You think of yourself as someone who doesn’t finish things, possibly with history to back that up.
Oh, I feel this one. This was me so hard. For so long.
Make room for the idea that you can and will change over time. Getting shit done is largely a matter of developing a bunch of skills. You've already developed so many different skills in your life that you might not even recognize some of them as skills. But I promise you that you have.
But you see #6? Go read that one again. If you're not finishing things, it's because there's something missing in your routine and process that you haven't developed skills around yet.
I'm not gonna tell you it's easy, but you can find and isolate the barriers and figure out ways around them.
8) You have too many projects and feel frozen when you try to pick one to work on.
Ask yourself if this is a real problem. It may be! Maybe you dream of making a living off of your writing! That requires a level of consistency.
But it also might just be that you've had it drilling into your head that not finishing things is some kind of personal failing.
Write out all your WIPs and story seeds.
See if some of them can be mushed into one. Some AMAZING stories come from people combining story ideas that seem separate into a single story. That's fun.
See if some of them are not for finishing. What's that post going around? Some stories are for finishing, and some are just for "getting the wiggles out"? That's solid advice.
Maybe some stories are just for daydreaming on the bus. Maybe some stories are actually only 1/3rd of a story, and you want to leave it to grow in the ground before you try to do anything with it. That's incredibly valid and common!
If you actually look at the stories that you have that are for finishing, right now, you may find a much more manageable number. And if you only have like 2 or 3 things you're working on, you can just let them take turns as the passion for each project takes you.
Keep a file somewhere of these undeveloped ideas. I have a scrivner file that has each idea it's own little sub-document so I can add thoughts to them for years as they percolate.
9) You get lost in preparation and don’t make it to the page.
A couple different things can be happening here. One thing that may be happening is that you're just a writer who needs a lot of research and prep time before you write. I'm like that. I will prewrite intensively for a year before I write a single sentence. That sounds ridiculous to a lot of people but it works with how my brain works and then when I do start writing I can easily and happily churn out a consistent 2-4k words per hour. If it works it works! Don't let anyone shame you!
The other option is that you feel like you're going to get something wrong/fail/get in trouble if you get anything "wrong". You feel safer doing research, so that's where you stay.
Only you can figure out which it is. Introspect. Then you know whether to focus on managing anxiety or just keep preppin.
10) You want to write, but when you sit down to write suddenly it’s two hours later and you’ve written like 5 words but curated 3 new playlists, read some fanfiction, and argued with some strangers on the internet.
Brains are rough, aren't they.
There are two schools of thought here. Both work, but not for all the same people.
Option 1 is to clear distractions. Download one of those apps that keeps you off the internet. Put your phone someplace that you need a ladder to reach, so you have to very actively decide to go get it. Noise cancelling headphones. Comfy clothes. Protein rich snacks and a beverage within easy reach. Pee ahead of time. Make a routine out of it to train your brain into associating this with focus.
Option 2 is to figure out the optimal level of distraction. When I write nonfiction I almost always have mindless home renovation shows on at the same time. Because nonficiton writing isn't quite stimulating enough to hold my attention. So my attention wanders and I end up doing something that WILL hold my attention. When I write fiction, I need music OR to be outdoors where I can look at trees or clouds or people on the sidewalk. I can't watch any kind of TV.
Think of your attention like a pie chart. Different writing tasks may take up different percentages of that pie. If you're awesome at focus maybe you can just put 90% of your focus on writing, and the other 10% is just making sure you don't forget to eat or something. But if you can't reliably conjure up more than 70% for one thing, then fill the rest of the pie with things you can easily pick up and put down. I only look up at the home decorating shows when my passive audio scanning suggests it's something I want to look up at.
These are both good approaches. Ignore anyone who demonizes either. That only means they've found the version that works for them.
You have your brain. Build a process for your brain.
I hope this helps. I have a free monthly newsletter if you like hearing my rants. It is...not consistently about writing advice or mental health. One time I wrote about how genetically modified goats are related to French colonized Madagascar in the 1800s as well as the modern US military. One time I broke down modern challenges to medical privacy practice policies. This is all to do with what I write but in an idiosyncratic way.
Cause I gotta write about what I care about.
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