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#the first time I saw this I actually had to stop the episode because I was sobbing too hard
mzcain27 · 2 months
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Finished the live action avatar
It’s not a perfect adaptation, I think the biggest thing is they have taken a lot of the fun out of it, Aang doesn’t wanna go do kid stuff, Iroh is way more serious, BUT I don’t necessarily blame like the series itself as much as I blame the current state of tv being in constraints of like 8 episodes and wanting people to binge it in the first few days and everything.
I hope they let Azula be as scary as possible next season, I think they just wanted her introduced a bit earlier since everyone was gonna be waiting for it, I hope they let Iroh chill out a bit more, but in general from my point of view if you see people bashing this series with as much vitriol as the movie then they’re being super dramatic. There are parts that could absolutely be better but like I said those issues go hand in hand with issues with all of tv right now. I think it’s decent at least, I know it’s a beloved series but some people are being HARSH
#bring back filler and characters just hanging out#and stop expecting people to watch shit in the first 30 seconds before you cancel it#for reference I think it’s a better adaptation than the new Percy Jackson tbh#same kinda vibes in the exposition dumps and kinda treating the audience like idiots but avatar just slightly bumps above percy for me#other minor issues are the acting at times but some of those times are literal children#a lot of people seem pissed at the zuko portrayal but season one zuko is dramatic af a lot of the time#and I think Dallas Liu just turned that up a bit and made him angrier which I’m not mad at#I wish katara was a little snarkier I saw someone mention her rage being kind of hamstrung and they were kinda right#it’s not entirely gone but it’s not there as much as I’d like#cgi is kinda whack at times too but that’s everything atm as well not avatar specific#the martial arts pretty good too esp fire bending they still clearly took from Shaolin kinda styles#I do wish they’d speed aang up a bit though#both in general but also stop using slow mo when he’s doing shit#anyway#I’m not super mad at it#if they don’t fuck up toph and do some better characterising of azula and iroh we might actually see it to the end#and some more episodes for like actual development but I feel like that’s wishful thinking with Netflix rn#even like 10-12 would be better and then sokka could’ve had his development with the Kyoshi warriors#and aang can show more of his reluctance and fear because he’s a twelve year old pacifist#avatar#avatar the last airbender#avatar live action#atla
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my favorite part of watching older anime series is when you get to the episode where they finally update the aspect ratio to fit more modern wide screens because it makes me feel like i travelled back in time because i see it and go :0!!! holy shit!!! look at how big that screen is!! despite most things i watch already having a modern widescreen aspect ratio
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twilightcitysky · 9 months
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Everything Is Meant (long S2 analysis, part 3)
Part one
Part two
There's SO MUCH excellent meta out there right now, and I'm going to try not to reinvent the wheel too much, but I want to keep going with tying the episodes/ elements up together because on first watch it wasn't entirely clear how everything fit. I also strongly recommend a rewatch, no matter what you felt about the ending... if you need to stop it 10 minutes early, do that, but you pick up so much more the second time around.
So: Maggie and Nina. I spent most of my first watch wondering why we were bothering with them, honestly. Later in the season Nina, and then Maggie and Nina, gave Crowley some insightful advice, but their actual relationship didn't progress despite all the meddling, and the amount of emotional investment BOTH Aziraphale and Crowley had in making them get together was frankly strange.
I started thinking in terms of mirror couples, since that was such a big deal in S1 and that's clearly what they were set up to be, but I made the mistake that all of us made on first watch: that Nina was Crowley and Maggie was Aziraphale. It still wasn't really coming together.
Then I put the psych hat back on and started to think about displacement. Displacement is a defense mechanism, and it consists of satisfying an impulse (usually an unconscious one) with a substitute object. At the beginning of the season, Aziraphale and Crowley aren't really in a good place, and I think on some level they know that. Aziraphale is trying to SHOW Crowley that he wants to take the next step through all the casual touches and phone calls and inviting him in, and feeling frustrated because Crowley doesn't seem to be taking the bait. (I absolutely think that Aziraphale tried to get Crowley to stay with him at the bookshop instead of living in his CAR, and Crowley said no. That's a whole other meta.) Meanwhile, Crowley, I think, is waiting for a Grand Gesture. Where did he go, as soon as Aziraphale brought up trying to get two humans to fall in love? Romantic tropes. Getting caught in the rain under an awning. A dramatic kiss that opens someone's eyes. That's the sort of thing he's always done, right? Big rescues, impassioned pleas on the street, fancy dinners, "give you a lift anywhere you want to go". He's defensive and guarded and unlikely to let someone in unless he's CERTAIN he won't be rejected, and Aziraphale's approaches are just too... quiet. No one's fault, they just don't speak the same language.
Then, they're handed the opportunity to make two humans fall in love, and they're both All In immediately. Look at Crowley's face when he summons the rainstorm. This is HUGE for him. Why? Because of displacement. Look at Aziraphale arranging the ball and being borderline deranged about it. They're both desperate to demonstrate what they think it takes for two people to move past their misunderstandings and fall in love. They can't do it for each other because the stakes are too high, and if either of them shows their cards unequivocally the vulnerability feels life-shattering. They're codependent and terrified of rejection and also, importantly, have no idea what they're doing when it comes to love. "Saw it in a film", Crowley says. Aziraphale's read about it in books. But they have zero practical experience.
Instead of learning to communicate, they try to say what they want to say through the medium of Maggie and Nina, up to and including the questionable moral decision to exert control over people's actions and thoughts during the ball. If I can just make this come out right, they both think, then things between us will be alright too. It HAS to come out right. They're attempting to gain some control over their own lives, over something that feels so overwhelming and shattering they can't look directly at it.
It doesn't come out right. Nina's relationship falls apart, but that doesn't mean she's in love with Maggie. While Crowley's stress-cleaning the bookshop to the music that played when Aziraphale got his books back in 1941 (just fuck me up David Arnold), they come in and tell him so. "I don't understand", says Crowley. Because it should have worked. Why didn't it work?
They tell him, of course. "You need to talk to each other. Say what you're really thinking." But here's the thing about communication: you have to learn it. You need to get the hang of expressing your feelings without blaming your partner, and separating intent from impact, and staying away from getting defensive and lashing out. No one has ever taught Aziraphale and Crowley how to do this. It's like Maggie and Nina put Crowley in front of a loom and asked him to recreate the Bayeux Tapestry. He doesn't have the skills; he's always going to get it wrong, even if he tries his hardest.
And he does try. But that's where Maggie and Nina the mirror couple, rather than Maggie and Nina the displacement relationship or Maggie and Nina the Greek chorus, come in. Aziraphale, as Nina, has just ended an incredibly toxic, invasive relationship with Heaven. A relationship that invaded every facet of his life, isolated him, and prevented him from being close to anyone else. "Rebound mess," Nina says. Aziraphale is a rebound mess. He's transferred the responsibility for his emotional wellness to Crowley. Crowley is the person he calls when he's in trouble, or (and this is key) when he wants to report a clever/ good thing he's done, or when he's bored. (At no point did Crowley reference Aziraphale calling him for a solicitous reason-- another problem.) Crowley is meant to take care of him. He forgets, I think, that Crowley is a person with his own wants and needs, just like Maggie and Nina are people with their own wants and needs who don't appreciate being messed with. (I think things would have been much different had Aziraphale BEEN THERE for Maggie and Nina's talk with Crowley, but he wasn't.)
And Maggie-as-Crowley? Lonely. Behind on rent, at risk of being evicted (it's important to note that Aziraphale saves Maggie from losing her record shop, as he couldn't save Crowley from losing his flat). Pining. Awkward. Revolving around Nina like a planet, to the extent that we don't get much of an impression of her otherwise. They realize, there at the end, that they both need to round themselves out before jumping into a relationship. Aziraphale and Crowley need that too. They need to take time apart and learn to be healthy on their own. Unfortunately they don't have the skills to get to that conclusion in a healthy way, so it all explodes in their faces and everything falls apart.
Aziraphale tries to teach Nina and Maggie to dance as a substitute for communication. Nina and Maggie try to teach Crowley communication as a substitute for the dance they've been doing around each other. That's the reason they're a part of the plot: they exist to demonstrate the way Aziraphale and Crowley might have succeeded in forging a better dynamic. Sadly, the boys' dance is too practiced and they got sucked right back into it.
It's okay, I think, that Nina and Maggie's storyline never really went anywhere. It wasn't supposed to. It's an allegory, not something that needs to stand alone.
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talaok · 7 months
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Just this once
Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!babysitter!reader
Summary: Everyone hates you in town, everyone except for Mr. Miller, who was kind enough to hire you as his daughter's babysitter.
Warnings: mentally and verbally abusive father, angst, unreciprocated love, no happy ending. Smut| oral sex (m receiving), unprotected p in v sex, creampie
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Everyone hated you in this town.
Kids at school, moms, dads, even grandparents sometimes.
People crossed the street when they saw you, they waited until you turned around to whisper and scorn to the person beside them.
Everywhere you went, followed dirty looks and rude remarks.
In the hallways at school, at the drug store, pharmacy, park, you name it.
Everywhere, everyone seemed to despise old Carl's daughter just for being born, or maybe, maybe also because of the rumors that spread about her.
Like the one where you dealt drugs, which was not not the truth... but you never dealt meth.
Or the one where you'd fucked half the guys in town,
And least but not last, the one where you were the reason you poor pops had turned to alcohol.
Except they didn't know anything. they didn't know that your "poor pops" had begun his diet of a bottle of whiskey a day long before you were born, that he drove your mom mad to the point where she had fled without so much as a goodbye, leaving behind a few clothes and a stupid scrap of paper where she had written a fucking lie.
I love you
If she had actually loved you, she wouldn't have left.
And they didn't know that all the anger your father had, had turned to you, they didn't know how scary it was, to be afraid of your own father, to be alone at the age of thirteen, to have to take care of yourself, to have to grow up faster than you should.
They all hated you, and you didn't care, you swore you didn't care, because they didn't know, they didn't know shit.
But Mr. Miller was different.
He was the only person, together with his daughter, who had ever shown you kindness, the real kind.
He had seen you sobbing as you ran from your house after your dad had another one of his "episodes".
And god, you were so confused when he stopped you, when he put a hand on your shoulder and asked if everything was alright.
And you didn't tell him then, you didn't tell him everything that was going on and that your dad was an asshole and that your life was hell, you couldn't, there was always this everlasting shame fizzing underneath your skin whenever you felt the need to share. But he hadn't cared, he hadn't cared that you had told him nothing, he hadn't cared that all you did was say sorry and I need to go, because with just a glance it felt like he had seen right through you.
So then he'd told you where he lived, and even if that time he couldn't convince you to come in, it was you who showed up at his doorsteps two nights after, asking for a place to sleep which he offered without so much as a question.
And it was only a week later when you told him everything.
He had sat and listened as you cried and cried, he had stroked your hair and given you tissues, until finally, he offered you a job.
Babysitting his kid.
And you were scared at first, you weren't really equipped for the job, but the moment you met Sarah you realized just how easy it was gonna be.
taking care of her was fun, and it gave you an excuse to be away from your own home, sometimes even at night when the mere thought of seeing your father made you want to puke.
And Mr. Miller was always nice, he made breakfast, overpaid you like crazy, and he listened, he was always there to listen.
"dad, what are you talking about?" 
Mr. Miller's backyard was always perfectly mowed, and the treehouse he'd built his daughter stood high on the oak in the middle of it.
"I said-" even if you couldn't see him, you swore he was taking another gulp straight from the bottle " Where the fuck are you?" 
"I'm working dad, I told you" you said, trying to remain as calm as possible.
"You working?" he laughed "That's funny" he said, as his laugh turned into a disgusting cough "Tell me where you really are." his voice was slurry, but the anger in it still made you shiver "You at one of your boyfriends' houses?"
"No Dad, I'm at Mr. Miller's house" you sighed, it was sad really, how used you were to this by now.
"Mr. Miller huh?" a hiccup sounded through the phone "You fucking him too? You started going for older guys? Is that it? I bet that's it you little slut" he hissed "Your mother would be so disappointed... to see her only daughter grow up to be such a fucking whore"
There's a difference, when it's strangers calling you names, and when it's your own father.
You'd always wished his words didn't affect you, but somehow, they always found a way to hurt.
No matter how tough you made yourself to be, when it was him, you felt like a kid all over again.
"fuck you" you muttered, as tears pricked your eyes 
"Is that how you talk to your father you little bitch? Just wait till you come home, I'll see what you'll have to say then-"
And there were so many things you wanted to tell him, to scream at him, to drill into his non-existing brain, but all you did was press the red button and hung up.
And it took about a second before the tears started flowing like rivers.
You ran back inside the house, forgetting all about closing the glass door as you curled into a ball on the couch, trying to cry as silently as you could, so that Sarah wouldn't wake up.
You hated him. You hated everything, you just wanted to run away and start a new life somewhere else, Canada, Austria, even the fucking north pole sounded better than this.
You were just so tired, so exhausted. Every time you talked to your father all the energy you had, or thought you had left, got drained from your body, and for hours, you remained lifeless,
The only exception was when-
The front door opened, and those purposely quiet footsteps that you would have recognized anywhere, followed soon after.
Him, the only exception was when he was there to comfort you.
You sat up, quickly wiping your tears to try and look somewhat presentable.
"hey," he whispered, entering the living room "Sarah's asleep?"
"mh-mh, yes" you nodded
"I'm sorry I came home this late, it's just that the guys wanted to go out after work and I always tell them no..." he trailed off, as he sat next to you and got rid of his overused boots.
"I-It's not a problem, Mr. Miller"
He shook his head, smiling in that charming way of his as he sat his shoes next to the coffee table and turned to look at you.
"How many times have I told you that you can just call me J-"
But his words died in his throat the moment he caught a glimpse of your red, puffy eyes, (that he'd come to know too well) and of that look on your face.
"What happened?"
They were such simple words, but they hit like tnt too close to a dam, breaking the barrier and causing all the water to run out.
His arms were around you the moment the first tear fell.
"shh" he cooed, stroking your back as you sobbed into his chest "It's alright, everythin's alright, sweetheart"
You wrapped your arms around his broad torso, feeling all his muscles underneath the fabric as you drowned in his scent. He always smelt so manly and so... good.
"I-I'm sorry it's just" A sob climbed up your throat "He-he called and I-I" You never finished the sentence as other tears started flowing from your eyes.
"I'm sorry honey" he cooed, placing his cheek on top of your head"it's ok" he murmured "It's all gonna be fine, I promise"
"w-when?" you cried, finally looking up at him "I'm so tired of this Mr. Miller..."
"soon" he promised "You're a smart girl, you'll get far in life sweetheart, I just know it"
you breathed heavily into his chest for a few minutes, listening to his heart beat as you calmed your own.
"t-thank you" you sniffled
"of course, darlin'"
And as you glanced at him, at his soft beard, at his kind eyes, your brain short-circuited and your mouth got a mind of its own, and before you realized it, your lips were on his.
And god he felt so good
"y/n-" he spoke as you tried to deepen the kiss "What are you doing?"
"I just-" you stuttered, not able to tear your glaze off his soft lips "please" you murmured, not knowing what else to say as you leaned up to kiss him again,
"sweetheart this ain't right I-"
"please Mr. Miller" you begged, placing your hand on his shoulder and pecs, as you left a quick kiss on his lips again "please just this once"
"y/n..." he tried to speak but was interrupted by your mouth finding his neck.
"please" you repeated for the thousandth time, your breath fanning over his neck "just this one time" 
"darlin'... I don't know if this is a good idea"
"it is" you quickly corrected him, your kisses lowering down his body, until all you could do was shuffle off the couch to get between his parted legs "it's a really good idea"
You saw him swallow thickly at the sight before him
"no sweetheart, you don't gotta do that"
"I want to" you reassured him, hurriedly undoing his belt and zipper until his black boxers were all that obstructed your view.
You palmed his manhood through the fabric, feeling it harden underneath your palm, before you gently took it out, looking up at him for approval as you wrapped one hand around it and let your lips follow suit.
A loud shuddering breath fled his mouth as you fitted more and more of him into your mouth, and you took it as an incentive to get lower, fully choking on his cock.
"f-fuck" he groaned
You started bobbing your head up and down, your eyes never leaving the sight of him breathing heavily before you.
You were doing good, but you wanted to do amazing for Mr. Miller, so you gingerly took his cock out of your mouth to start a slow trail of kisses and kitty lips down the whole length of him, until you reached his balls, and without a second thought, reserved them of the same treatment, before starting to suck on those too.
"fuck. me." he breathed, throwing his head back as he shut his eyes.
You leaned away for a moment, still pumping him with your hand "Does it feel good?" you asked
"fuck-yeah sweetheart" he gulped, looking down at you "it feels real fucking good- you're-fuck-you're amazing"
The biggest smile ever spread on your face at that, and with a renewed vigor, you got back to sucking his balls even better.
series of profanities continued coming out of his mouth as you got back to his dick, letting your tongue run on his tip for a few moments before getting back to filling your mouth with it.
You watched his hands curl by his sides, and without thinking, you let one of your own travel to his, softly placing your palm over it in a makeshift hold, which wasn't really a hold because he didn't turn his hand to do it properly.
But it didn't matter now, he was enjoying this, something you were doing for him, something you had dreamed of doing to him times and times again, and that's all you cared about.
You bobbed your head for a few more moments before you leaned away and quickly got up to get rid of your pants.
He watched you, too fucked out and torn with guilt and confusion to understand anything anymore, step out of your panties, place your hands on his shoulders, and straddle him.
you reached down for his dick, and without too much of a premise, sank down on it.
"oh god" you moaned, stopping a moment to take a deep breath at the feeling, as a low groan rumbled in his chest.
"you feel so good" you murmured, kissing him passionately as you started riding him.
His hands gripped your waist as a way for him to try and ground himself back on this earth because fuck but, you felt fucking good too
"touch my tits please" you said, ghosting his mouth.
"Sweetheart..."
"Please, Mr. Miller" you pouted, rising and sinking from his cock even faster
"Joel- please call me Joel" 
"Please Joel, touch my tits"
And who was he to say no to you when you asked him like that?
One of his big strong hands seeped underneath your top and found your boobs, stroking and grabbing at them heavenly.
You couldn't help but gasp at the mix of pleasures, your head falling to the crook of his neck.
The sound bouncing off the walls of the living room was straight out dirty and the breeze coming from the open glass door on your left softly floated through the room, at times hitting your raw skin.
"oh my god" you whimpered, muffled by Joel's skin "o-oh my"
He was filling every inch of you, stretching you so fucking good it made you want to scream if it wasn't for Sarah sleeping just upstairs.
You lost yourself in him, in his soft grunts, in his most raw scent, in the way his beard rutted against your cheek, and slowly, slowly you felt a bubble form in your belly, getting more and more ready to explode.
"F-fuck" you whined, "I-I think I'm-I'm coming"
His only response was to tighten his hold on you, before you fastened your pace, desperately chasing your high.
your breathing got even heavier as you remerged from his neck to look at him in the eyes and meet his lips with yours once again.
Kissing his was like traveling to another universe, he was just so... perfect
 "Joel" you whispered, losing yourself in his hazel eyes, as the pleasure got stronger and stronger until you felt like you could barely breathe "Joel I love you"
You watched his eyes widen slightly but before he could speak your orgasm took over your body and you had to hide your head in the crook of his neck again to try not to moan too loud.
"it's ok" he murmured, placing a hand on the back of your head soothingly "It's all gonna be ok sweetheart"
You rode out your high, never stopping your movements, and by the time you had come down from it, Joel was on the verge of it.
"shit-I'm coming" he groaned "Where do you want it?"
 "inside" you whispered without missing a beat
"I c-can't honey-"
"please Joel" you whimpered, starting to get overstimulated "Please fill me up, Joel"
And with that simple sentence, he was done for.
"fuck-shit. shitshitshitshit" That's all he managed to spit out, as ropes of his come filled you up to the brim, just like you wanted.
You took a moment to compose yourself, inhaling his scent one more time, before you slowly got off of him.
And as you did, the moment it was all done, a strange sensation overtook you.
you'd thought that this was all you wanted, that this was gonna make you feel better, and yet... yet you couldn't help but feel like a piece of you was missing, you couldn't help but feel emptier than you were to begin with.
As you watched him hurry to put his boxers back on, you couldn't help but think that, once again, you had managed to fuck everything up.
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matrixbearer2024 · 2 months
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Enough With The Schemes!
Vox x CollegeStudent!Reader
A/N: Ngl I kinda had this in my drafts just because I didn't know how it'd ever fit into the story but I decided to fix it up and post it after @vespers-night-sky's fanart for the "Get Off My Screen" Series- the direct continuation and reader's death is in the works folks, I've just been trying to figure out the pacing ahsojskqjds- I am not gonna be a Hazbin Hotel episode jkjkjk Anyway, thank you thank you THANK YOU ALL for the support with the series and think of these little things as filler episodes before the big reveal. Anyways, as usual- happy reading and I hope you all enjoy! The series in it's entirety can be found on my blog under the #Get Off My Screen Series
You didn't know how much more of Vox's shenanigans you could take.
First it had been the wallpaper war-
Until now you couldn't stop his face from being a permanent fixture to your devices-
But it was fine, he could have that!
You lamented over not having [Favorite Fictional Character Name] in your backgrounds anymore but you know what it was fineeeee-
You honestly couldn't tell if having his glitchy grinning face was an upgrade or cringe central.
Then he figured out how to absolutely lag out your computer at some point.
You seriously wanted to punch his monitor head from frustration because of it.
Especially when he had the nerve to laugh at your irritation-
This asshole-!
Now, he was absolutely blowing up your phone and devices with memes or just anything under the sun.
Not that messing with the notification settings would help-
Because somehow he'd figured out how to completely bypass those too.
If this was why that Alastor guy and Vox had a tiff you could practically relate.
Your phone just continued to buzz and vibrate on the table next to you.
Not that you could be fucked with it at the moment trying to cram a paper your professor assigned last BLOODY MINUTE!
That was of course until the Vox desktop companion grabbed the cursor and just didn't let you have it back.
As much as you tried, the darn thing only emoted angrily and refused to give you back the damn arrow.
Your eye twitched as you tried to maintain your cool, only to get up from the desk and scream obscenities to no one in particular.
The day had been a particularly bad one and you really just couldn't deal with Vox's bullshit right now.
"Helloooooo! HELLOOOOOOO?! Earth to (Y/N)! Pick up your fucking phone!!!"
Oh for the love of god he better not have changed your ringtone too-
You rubbed your face in an attempt to calm down before finally checking your phone.
Honestly you expected it to be something really stupid, but seeing what his messages were about made you feel slightly guilty for ignoring him the whole day.
Vox grew used to the routine you both had, so it was no surprise that your sudden inactivity drove his anxiety up the walls.
Poor guy thought of all the worst possible cases that could've happened to you-
He'd greet you in the morning and you would always reply afterwards while eating breakfast.
Save for the times you'd gotten sick or just felt under the weather.
After all, you had classes in the morning and he had broadcasts to air.
You also hated being tardy, similar to how he saw punctuality as something extremely important.
The two of you would intermittently chat within the day and tell each other if you had work to do so you both could leave each other alone for a designated time.
Vox often didn't adhere to this, but he'd always keep his distractions to a minimum if you asked.
Actually neither did you, sometimes you'd be the one spam sending him anything you could think of just to give him a taste of his own medicine.
Then you would wish him a good night's rest and he would eventually reply back with a silly gif or emoji that bode you the same.
He just grew used to it, the familiarity of your companionship in his monotonous day to day.
So whenever something fell apart in the routine you both had, Vox couldn't help but worry that something happened to you.
Whether you'd gotten sick or just anything worse-
It didn't sit well with him when you didn't reply to his morning message like you often did.
Constantly checking his phone for any updates from you to find nothing.
Zilch, none, zero.
The worrying feeling only grew as time ticked onwards.
Even at your busiest you would still shoot him a memo saying that you were.
Which only made this radio silence-
Haha see what I did there-
Worse than it really was.
So what did Vox do?
Absolutely blow up your phone and devices trying to get your attention.
Only when he realized you were doing something on your laptop did he let the desktop companion he made for you interfere.
Not that he even really understood what he'd stuck his hands into.
"What the hell even happened to you today? You didn't even reply to any of my fucking messages! I thought something happened to you!"
"Well SORRY I couldn't reply to your terminally online ass. I was busy dealing with my shitty assignment workload."
The TV overlord quickly picked up that you weren't in a pleasant mood.
The way you typed was just a dead giveaway.
Glancing up at his schedule, Vox notified his secretary to cancel a few of his meetings before he replied to you.
"Anything I can help you with? I'm free for a good few hours."
You were taken aback by his offer, every time Vox would help you he didn't even bother asking.
He just straight up started editing whatever you were working on no matter what you said.
Who was this guy and what did he do with Vox-
"You aren't trying to bullshit me are you? Cuz I'm not in the mood."
"I can tell dollface, let me guess- your shitty professor again?"
You ended up ranting about the abruptly given assignment and just a bunch of other things that slowly ruined your day.
Vox just agreed with you here and there, shooting one word replies or emojis to show he was still listening.
All the while he made the desktop companion let go of your cursor and he looked over your work.
Wow your writing was still absolutely shit-
"So now I've gotta submit this fucking paper before midnight or I'll get a 40% deduction."
"Don't worry about it, we can finish this in an hour. Anything else?"
It was an economics paper you were struggling on and this was Vox you were talking to.
You shouldn't have been surprised that he already knew his way around the topic.
You glanced up from your phone and already saw him editing your essay.
Why didn't you just ask him for help sooner??
"I think I can handle the rest. Thanks anyway, mind if I put on some music while I write?"
"As long as I get to pick some of the songs."
"Deal."
It shouldn't have done anything really.
You shouldn't be having this funny feeling in your gut.
A fuzzy warmth that bloomed because Vox was so quick to drop everything and help you.
Even if it was just something minor like your paper.
Still, you couldn't help but smile as you put on some relaxing tunes and typed away alongside your favorite digital companion.
Just like that, you both melted back into the usual cycle of talking and working.
A casual harmony that you were more than happy to just live in for the moment.
BONUS:
Both you and Vox were just casually chatting by the time his secretary called him away for the scheduled broadcast.
Of course, you wished you could see what he was actually doing but stopped before you could say so.
Instead you just wished Vox well in the broadcast.
"Of course doll, and you know me! I'll be just fine."
Well, his broadcast was going fine-
Until his screen suddenly glitched and randomly played a tune from your playlist.
Had he forgotten to unlink himself from your devices?
It took a few seconds for Vox to compose himself but his show thankfully went on without another hitch.
You on the other hand?
You were just having a personal concert in your room to unwind while waiting for Vox to come back.
So it came as a surprise when the song you played randomly paused and made the Bluetooth disconnect sound.
You didn't connect it to anything-?
Though your questions were eventually answered when Vox blew up your phone again.
This time you couldn't help but laugh.
You were friends with a demonic overlord sure-
But it was hard to fear him when he was such a doofus.
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Another Vox enthusiasts I see? Well if I may...
Vox with a GN Hacker reader who was turned entirely digital after manifesting in hell. They don’t even have a physical form they’re completely stuck within Hell’s databases, their skills are obviously useful to him so he offers them a place on the team which they immediately accept on the condition that Vox makes them a vessel to inhabit because holy shit are they going stir crazy.
I’m not entirely sure how Vox’s abilities work but given he can at the very least project himself onto screens and the like I get the feeling that he’d plug himself into the system whenever they talk. Mostly because it keeps them grounded, they’re alot calmer when he’s actually next to them and not looking in through a screen.
I hope this didn’t get too wordy or long I just wanted to be thorough because I have massive brain rot for this techno mf-
Take your time with this request! Kisses darling <3
-📽
Dude, does anyone else remember having Shimeji's or that internet episode from Fairly Odd Parents? Cause that's what I'm about to write!
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Digital Pet [Vox x Digital Reader]
When you first manifested in Hell, you were completely unaware that you had ended up in Hell itself. Because instead of manifesting in the overcrowded circle designated for sinners, you instead found yourself in a digital landscape. Countless screens surrounded you like a million portals. You could see the different shapes and sizes of the devices being used in hell and could even alter whether or not you saw what was being displayed on the screen or what the screen could see itself like a window to Hell.
At first, you had a massive meltdown. From what you could tell, you were the only one in this digital Hell custom-tailored to leave you isolated despite having access to every device in Hell. You wondered what you did to deserve the extra punishment layered on top of not being good enough for heaven, especially since you hadn't done anything particularly evil when you were alive.
You lost track of how much time passed. You entertained yourself by jumping from system to system. You'd watch shows that sinners binged, and you'd watch the city from large advertisement screens that overlooked the sinner's circle of Hell. Anything to stave off the loneliness.
One day, that all changed when you felt an electric buzz make the hairs on the back of your neck stand. You heard the voice of someone swearing and immediately pulled yourself away from the screen you had been sticking your nose into. When you turned, you saw another demon who was still sparking with some bright electric energy as he dusted himself off.
For a moment the two of you just stared at each other in shock. As far as you and Vox knew, you were the only ones who could access the digital realm of Hell's database. Vox is immediately wary, but you are thrilled as you approach him quickly.
"H-Hi, oh my god!" you breathe as you look him over. He didn't look new to Hell, but you had never seen anyone else in the same pocket of space as you before. "Did you just die? Have you seen anyone else? Did you just get here? It's been so long since I saw another person that wasn't on a screen!"
Vox blinked as you rapid-fired questions at him. He looked you over as you rambled something about the irony of his face being a screen when he finally shook his head and held up a hand to stop you.
"Woah, woah, woah, slow down," he started. "What are you talking about? How are you even here? No one else should be able to traverse through the database of Hell but me."
Vox's interest only grows as you explain your situation. "I see," he hummed as he looked you over with new intrigue. "I wonder if you have similar abilities to mine and just got caught in the in-between..."
It was easy enough for him to lure you into a deal. The sheer amount of panic you expressed when he pretended he was going to just leave you there was hilarious at the time. In exchange for you "surfing the web" for him, so to speak, he took you on as an apprentice of sorts. Vox trained your abilities and helped you hone your magic. While you had every hope of one day figuring out how to manifest in the physical realm the way he did, Vox cleverly avoided any pursuit of the possibility.
He liked having full power over you and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't starting to grow attached. While you hadn't learned anything about manifesting physically, you had learned how to appear on his screens. He'd never admit it to you out loud, but he found the tiny image of you running around on his devices and talking with him to be pretty damn adorable.
Despite his manipulation, the two of you actually slowly became friends. He found himself genuinely proud of you whenever you popped up to show him something new you had learned. There was a weird warm and fuzzy feeling in his chest when you would bounce with excitement at your new discoveries.
Sometimes you'd ask him to play a certain show or song for you. Even after you learned how to control inactive devices so you could look up anything you wanted, you still liked to ask him to play things for you just so you could watch them in his presence. You'd send memes to each other and Vox had to quickly excuse himself when you sent him a crudely drawn image of Alastor slipping on a banana peel while he was in the middle of giving a presentation at a meeting.
Vox was emotionally constipated, but he wasn't stupid. He could tell that the warm feeling in his chest was growing and he knew you were the source. He clutched his chest as he stepped into his lair and saw you sleeping on his desktop toolbar, waiting for him to come home after a long day at work. He had promised you that you'd watch the new episode of a show you'd been watching together, but his gameshow had run late.
He sits down with a sigh and traces over your sleeping form, feeling something twist inside of him as his claw only met with the cold, flat surface of a screen. He wondered what it would be like to hold you. To touch you. To have you in his arms while the two of you lay on the couch while you made him watch stupid shows instead of...
"Fuck," Vox whispered to himself as he pulled away from the innocent image of you. He clutched his face as he slumped forward in his chair. He had a decision to make.
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And so do you, dear readers! I want to make a part two to this, the real question is:
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sepublic · 1 year
Text
Post-Hoot with Dana Terrace!
            Dana’s put over 200 hours into games she’s missed since the finale; Octopath Traveler, Little Nightmares, etc. Sarah Nicole-Robles cried harder than she ever did when she said I learned a language I’ll never forget, a whole chapter of my life is over, during the King-ceanera. She said the line once and was suddenly sobbing because of how meta it was. 
         Rebecca has a ‘sona during the bit with Barcus in the epilogue sequence. Cissy also cried when watching with her family, her kids asked her about it; Sarah was really excited as she watched the finale.
         No sequel happening, but we can always hope; Dana would like to do more, but Disney owns the IP and needs to give them permission. Dana knew the prequel line in the finale was ham-fisted as hell but still went with it because she was pissed (she said Fuck to express her rage). Rebecca went back to the Anger phase of grief after watching the finale after realizing what they missed, but Sarah was also in Acceptance because it was hard to regret something that ended so well.
         Dana doesn’t cry that much, but TJ’s remix in the soundtrack made her cry. Dana brought back everyone for BBBYYYEEEEEEE, noting this was every character’s last line, and wished Hooty had more lines. Alex improvised a cut line after the Bye with Hooty expressing appreciation for the finale and readiness for his spin-off.
         Dana won’t say much in hopes she’ll get to do more for TOH in the future; A Youtube reviewer (shoutout to all, Zachary Ax, Man of a Thousand Thoughts, Rebecca herself), the Third Bill got it right on Hooty, and Dana won’t be more specific about that.
         They found out about the shortening during S2; They had an ending in mind that Dana had in mind since development, but it needed too much setup and so they couldn’t pull it off. All of Season 2A was written before knowing the cancellation; Follies at the Coven Day Parade was the first episode fully written knowing the show was shortened, hence the tonal change. The Galdorstones was an arc Dana planned more on, as well as the Coven Heads; Bat Queen; It was a hard situation choosing what to leave out.
         There weren’t whole episodes written that had to be trashed; Just one-sentence ideas on a whiteboard never fully outlined or scripted. But Dana is still happy with what came out, because it was pretty damn cool.
         Rebecca Rose once saw someone with a King sweatshirt like hers at Disneyland and said hi, but they just side-eyed her and didn’t respond; Despite this, Rebecca hopes they had a happy day and believes they were just having a bad time. Sarah joked about not being so forgiving.
         String Bean’s inspiration: Owlbert is in the title of the show, String Bean indeed was there the whole time! The S wasn’t completely intentional at first, but Dana flipped the logo around and figured it out. When making the first episode, the logo wasn’t finalized. They always liked the idea of Luz being connected to snakes, it’s what she brought to school and they liked her reclaiming something she terrorized her classmates with. The Snake-Shifter idea specifically; Zach Marcus just said “Snake-Shifter” as they brainstormed ideas and Dana, being a sucker for lame puns, was sold.
         That was indeed Dana being represented as a student in the epilogue! She was Beastkeeping and Oracle; Dana can see the future of the show, and really likes animals. Raine’s palisman was indeed hidden within the violin’s design; Hunter and Dell worked to fix the palismen after Raine broke it trying to stop Belos. The violin is more akin to the staff, anyhow. Dana considered responding to a question about general Caleb, Evelyn, and Flapjack lore, but Sarah insisted she stay silent in case they get to answer it as an actual story later.
         Dana liked to think while writing Thanks to Them; No, Evelyn’s spirit isn’t in Flapjack. But to Philip, he saw Flapjack as the culmination of the corruption in his brother Caleb; He saw Flapjack, if it weren’t for YOU. You can see a hint of it in Masha’s story, Evelyn entices Caleb with Flapjack, who was Caleb’s introduction to magic. Evelyn was probably disguised as a human, and trusted Caleb for seeming reasonable and less violent. Perhaps like Dog owners passing each other by and suddenly becoming friends over this.
         Evelyn and Caleb’s relationship was sweet, from platonic curiosity to romantic. Eda doesn’t know she’s descended from them, nor does Hunter; And Dana has more to say, but will keep it hidden. Luz will stay the majority of her stay in the isles as she goes to college. Camila bought the shack leading to the human world, which allowed Luz to visit during holidays, weekends, etc.
         They never got to explore it, but it could’ve originally been the home of Philip and Caleb, long abandoned; Eda emerges after discovering the portal. In the next thirty years, she fixes up the shack as she builds the Owl House. Dana also advised fans to google Death of the Author, since she’s technically no longer working on the show, and thus gives permission for fans to write their own answers.
         Eda became the Owl Lady before Owlbert, due to the curse; They planned to do an episode where Eda learned palismen carving with Dell, and how Eda reclaimed the Owl identity to carve Owlbert. Dana stills has the outline of that episode in her head…
         According to Rebecca, Caleb and Philip’s graves were in the basement of the shack, based on this church in New Haven Dana passed by every day on her way to school (Gravesfield is based on some places in Connecticut). However, Dana realized the graves didn’t fit into the story. They also had an ‘original’ Belos design for him taking over animals. Marina Gardner did some amazing Belos designs, and Thanks to Them alluded to it.
         The Portal’s eye comes from the Titan’s missing eye!!! Hunter is bisexual, Willow is pansexual, this is how Dana always wrote and imagined them in her mind, but it’s not explicitly stated so technically it’s more headcanon. Dana noted how some people just picked it up. Dana likes to think Amity and Lilith rekindled their student-mentor relationship. Having worked in the library, Amity was interested in Lilith’s knowledge of history. Dana suggested to Zarya(?) from the design team to add notes to Lilith’s museum blueprints. A helicopter passed over and they joked it was Disney trying to stop spoilers.
         Cissy only got her lines and didn’t know any other details about the finale, to Dana’s surprise; Dana explained that people not getting a full script is due to the pandemic. Before quarantine, actors would get the full script. They have to rely on Eden Riegel and Dana for context a lot. Bosook Coburn spoiled Luz’s death to Rebecca Rose during the celebration party. They came up with a lot of designs for dying Luz, trying to figure out how they can hollow out her head how much. Dana mentions it’s up to the showrunner to show how much they want to the actors.
         Thanks to Sarah, they kept in Luz saying her own SFX during her fight with Eda in O Titan, Where Art Thou; She heard someone do it as part of the mock script and wanted it. When Dana voiced Eda and Luz at the end, Dana was crying. There’s a recording of Season 2B and Season 3 of Dana doing a voice-over of the script to get approved by executives.
         Dana clarified everyone would’ve had more of a chance to talk with each other, such as Hunter and Amity; Hunter would’ve talked to Vee, as well as more human realm kids, literally everyone would’ve had a little more time with each other. Dana loves Luz and Hunter’s sibling dynamic. Dana was sorry they couldn’t have Luz and Raine hang out, but they had the Hexsquad storyline. Luz finished high school in the human world, with the renewed motivation that she’ll go back to the isles. Knowing she has a safe space outside of high school made it more bearable, as was the case for Dana growing up.
         Cissy brought up Gus’ hair in the epilogue, which she loved; Emmy Cicierga did the design for Gus and Raine. Harpy Lilith was by Emmy; Dana did Emira, Eberwolf, and Skara’s timeskip designs. The name of the Titan is unpronounceable for humans.
         Dana can’t say much about the Archivists; The Collector never had a flash-forward design, as they age much more slowly than everyone else. Maybe the Collector got just a tiny bit taller. The idea of the Collector came from creepy dolls, as well as a nightmare; John Bailey Owen had a google folder filled with cool references of creepy dolls with a starry aesthetic, liminal minimalist nightmare-scape. They knew who the Collector was gonna be, what role they’d play, but the vibe still needed to be decided.
         Dana confirmed the Collector was always a part of the show before the shortening, and they solidified their placement after the announcement. The Collector has indeed stayed connected with the others, visits occasionally. Dana has seen fan comics on this and teared up.
         Hooty doesn’t have to be vacated from the Owl House if he doesn’t want to; When the door isn’t active, Hooty could be present. The new portal can probably fold up, and Hooty is busy as a curator for Hooty’s new museum.
         Dana said Raine and Eda’s business is their business; Not all love stories end in marriage. It’s their thing and it doesn’t diminish any love, but they do live in the Owl House together (Raine moved in).
         Mattholomule getting a palisman is something Zach Marcus can answer, since he made the character and Dana respects the lore he made. It’s hard to say for Dana if Vee and Masha are dating, since Masha didn’t show up in the finale, but Vee definitely has a crush on them. Again, Dana encourages the Death of the Author approach, if the headcanon makes you happy.
         Alador and Odalia got officially divorced after the finale, and the kids happily lived away from her. They might visit her if they have the energy, but also recognize she’s a toxic influence they can cut off at any point. Dana gave a shoutout to Rachel McFarlane’s voice acting, praising her performance for Odalia.
         In regards to the tower King was born in, Dana has an answer; It was related to a character we all know, who now may have amnesia.
         There was a plan to explore Gus and Willow’s glowing eyes, and do it for other characters; Amity wasn’t going to have that, strong emotions are indeed connected to magic. It was mostly a worldbuilding magic rule they could’ve expanded on, that Dana wishes she did early in the story.
         In the boards, Dawn Han(?) did Clouds on the Horizon, and did the scene of Amity and the twins hiding in the factory as their parents talk about the Abomatons, Alador is worried since it seems like a tad much. Alador had T-rex arms in the storyboard, and it reminded Dana of Remy from Ratatouille, so when they got to the scene of them looking into Alador’s lab, Ratador was drawn in his place as a joke. Dana laughed so hard she decided to keep it in, with Dana handwaving it as Alador’s palisman.
         According to Dana, a show should be appreciated for as it is; But the other way to enjoy it, under the context it was made, is also important to her; Both ways are valid. It was easier for Sarah to voice depressed Luz since she was also depressed. The writers preferred to put their feelings into the show, VS a more happy-go-lucky approach as others did; It was kind of dark for a bit, especially during quarantine. Sarah felt her own experience validated with Luz’s depression, but she and Dana appreciated the balance of having a happy ending too.
         What made the crew hopeful was knowing the characters would always have a happy ending; Luz could continue her studies in full-force, a new family. They KNEW it would end happy. Dana acknowledged how the fandom misinterpreted “I hate the term happy endings,” and Sarah knew about the quincenera when asked during previous Post-Hoots, but couldn’t answer.
         Rebecca commissioned 3D-printed Funko Pops of S2A Lilith and S1 Luz, and gave them to the others as gifts; Rebecca didn’t know about Avi’s appearance until two days before the Post-Hoot, otherwise she would’ve had a Funko of Raine made. Dana’s stand for Luz had to be made with painter’s tape (she appreciated it) due to Rebecca running out of the other kind, and planned to place it beside her Peabody award. Elizabeth Grullon, Camila’s VA, had to call her mom in the middle of a session to translate her line about maduros into English.
        Cissy clarified this wasn’t intended to be the final Post-Hoot! And the video was ended with a BBBBYYYEEEEE!!!!!
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xrenjunniesx · 5 months
Text
when you accidentally ignore them
bf!nct dream
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mark
you were talking to your friend on face time while doing your make up when mark walked in. you smiled at him through the mirror before going back to talking to your friend. you were giggling too much to hear mark say something. your friend noticed him though. she laughed at him, catching your attention.
mark was just awkwardly laughing, saying your name in between his breaths. “sorry, did you say something?” he approaches you this time and stands right behind you, looking at you through the mirror. “I just asked what you guys were talking about.” “oh! oh my god wait tell him the story!” you say to your friend on facetime.

renjun
you and renjun went on a walk for a much needed mental break. you put your headphones in, wanting to drown out the world for a little bit. you thought he saw you do this, but perhaps he didn’t. he stopped walking about half way through your walk. you stop as well, turning your music off as you look back at him.
“why’d you ignore me?” “I can’t even hear you.” you say pulling one of your airpods out of your ear. he awkwardly smiles and begins walking again. “leave one ear out for me?” you giggle and agree, putting the extra airpod into the case.
jeno
you were so immersed in watching the newest episode of a show that regularly played on the television. it wasn’t even a show you enjoyed, but you were absolutely immersed in it. so immersed that you didn’t notice jeno getting home until he was stood right beside you. you almost screamed when you noticed his presence.
he smiled and dropped his things onto the couch beside you. “you didn’t hear me?” you shook your head and reached for the television remote, turning it down so you could actually hear things around you, instead of just the television. “what if someone broke in? you wouldn’t even have noticed.” he joked.
haechan
you were playing with a strangers dog that you walked past on a nightly walk by the beach. you had heard haechan and the owner talking a little bit, so when haechan spoke up again you automatically assumed he was talking to the owner again. It wasn’t until the owner didn’t reply and you felt an awfully heavy stare on your back that you looked up to haechan.
he was just staring at you, before repeating it again, “let’s go now?” as you both walk away you tell him that you didn’t hear what he said the first time. he scoffs and looks at you with a pout, “am I that easy for you to ignore?”
jaemin
you were watching a movie when you heard jaemin say something. all day, he had been talking to his three kittens, so you assumed he was just talking to them again since he wasn’t even in the same room as you. it wasn’t until he walked into the room and sat next you, looking at you with awaiting eyes. “what is it?” you ask, before realising maybe he was talking to you earlier.
“Oh I’m sorry, we’re you talking to me before? I thought you were talking to the cats.” he laughs and shakes his head, “ah yes, because the cats have a choice of where we are going tonight?”
chenle
you’re on you phone, watching some stupid reels that make you giggle to yourself. chenle calls out to you from the kitchen, “do you want me to cook dinner now?” when you don’t reply, he sighs and closes the fridge, walking down to the bedroom where the door was wide open. you didn’t even notice him there until he coughed.
“oh sorry chenle, what’s wrong?” “babe… you’re going deaf I fear.” “huh?” he just leaves the room saying he is going to start dinner now, hoping you at least heard him that time.
jisung
you were sitting on the couch, playing a game musical rhythm game when he sat down next to you. you heard him saying something, but because you had your headphones in your ears and you weren’t sure if he was even talking to you, you stayed quiet and ignored it. when the song finished, you finally heard what he was saying. “what do you think?” you looked at him only to find that he was looking at you.
“oh… ji… I didn’t hear anything you said.” you said taking the headphones out of your ears. he just blinks at you and closes his eyes, leaning his head back, muttering something about having to repeat everything, but he does it anyway.
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misty-caligula · 11 months
Text
Okay this is gonna be long, but I’ve got a lot of ground to cover so please bear with me. In a real way, this is my series thesis.
I’ve said before, many times now (like a cycle) that for me the most important scene is ep 1 act 1 scene 1. There’s something There that I have been struggling to see clearly, struggling to articulate, and s2e9 really finally gave me the last pieces for it.
I think that Pit Girl is the point of the entire story. But not in the way that I thought going in. I feel like I’m rambling, so I’m going to try to structure my thoughts.
Imagine you’re a new viewer. You haven’t watched yj start to finish 30 times, you’ve never even buzzed before. You turn on the tv and the FIRST thing that happens is you see ... brutality. A half dressed girl chased through the freezing woods, murdered without a chance. They drag her through the snow, string her up, pour her blood on the ground. Hack her into unrecognisable chunks. Sit around in scary outfits and rip at her, with a huge focus on the teeth, as horror music plays. Then, Misty takes off her mask, puts on her glasses, and does the worst possible thing. She smiles. Directly at you.
Again, forget everything you know and go on vibes. You’re seeing the teens pre-crash, and you’re seeing them in the third timeline, fully formed, with horror motifs and covered in fur. You’d be mistaken for thinking that you were seeing start and end. Except that... we know, and you know, that Pit Girl is the middle. These monsters somehow came back from this. How? When they’re so so so far gone?
Hence the show. I know I’m not breaking new ground here, but bear with me. I’m going somewhere.
(Edit: Readmore added because honestly, LONG post)
You’d be forgiven, fresh-faced new viewer, for thinking you were watching some kind of gross-out slasher. But what happens in S1? Restraint. Laura Lee, the first non-crash victim dies at the end of episode eight. Jackie end of ep 10. (For the sake of this thesis we’re going to be almost exclusively focused on the teens.)
And yet there’s this tonal shift, It’s like ... inevitability. Like watching a crack in a window that’s very slowly spreading. Everything is steadily Getting Worse. The weather is slowly getting colder, the days are getting darker, food’s getting scarcer, life is getting harder. But so much of this difficulty is coming from external events and pressure. Yes, cracks start to show in the internal relationship dynamics, of course, but if food was plentiful, if shrooms were less so, if the weather were better, then they could probably work out a very long term stable situation. Sadly for them, things are not stable, and the pressure is building.
Then Jackie dies and the glass gets a really big break.
It’s worth mentioning at this moment that Jackie at any time could’ve come the fuck inside. Safety and warmth and even love were available to her. All it would’ve required was for her not to be the centre of the world. To make actual goddamn concessions and join the team. Which is why she couldn’t possibly make that choice, because she had to be invited, she had to be apologised to, she had to be accommodated. She couldn’t see the rest of the ‘jackets as being people who just like her were in a really shitty situation. She saw them as being external, as being in cahoots against her, as being part of some Thing that she wasn’t in on. She couldn’t let go of the society they’d left, and she preferred to die. Which sure is a choice...
Keep all of that in mind though. We’re taught to blame Shauna for Jackie’s choices. Let’s stop with that. Jackie chose not to assimilate, she looked around the cabin at the team eating the bear and praying to the wilderness and instead of just paying lip service to fit in, like Tai, she decided to put her foot down and make a Thing of it. She decided that being Right was more important than being Included.
Seriously, keep that in mind, we’re coming back to it. Cycles, you know...
Season 2, everyone’s hungry and hey we have this spare Jackie lying around. And we joke like “ha, you gonna eat that?” Only...
No. They WEREN’T going to eat her.
Really think about that for a second. They put her in the meat shed. With the bear. Think about what that does, psychologically. Linguistically. The meat shed is made to store food. The bear has a word: carcass. Day after day after week after month they carve progressively more pathetic chunks from it, subsisting on what little it offers. In the EXACT same room, sitting right there is Jackie. Her body has a different name. Corpse. With many different connotations. At NO point does ANY of them raise the fact that they’ve taken their friend and added her to their meat stockpile.
Because they haven’t. Instead, they’ve added a new sub-room. The meat shed is now also a morgue. And nobody ever once had to say it. They got it. We got it. You got it. And while they starved and their bodies BEGGED for food, Jackie’s corpse lay there, frozen and fresh, and stubbornly refused to become a carcass, because they wouldn’t let it. They knew that there were more important things than meat, even when they were starving.
The bacchanal was a mistake. A literal error. It simply wasn’t planned, wasn’t meant to go down that way. Maybe if they HAD considered that route earlier and had a discussion about it they’d have been prepared, psychologically, maybe if they weren’t so starved. Who knows. But in the middle of the night they were offered a way out, and they took it.
But Shauna took it first.
Even in their state, even faced with an ideal roasted feast infront of them, they waited until Shauna said it was okay. Because Jackie was Shauna’s friend, and they knew that she was still a person. That this was still a corpse first. It was Shauna who was able to give them permission to survive. To turn a friend into a meal. It was not their place to take that step. To shoulder that guilt. So Shauna did it for them.
The next day they’re devastated. The heavy reality sets in, now the hunger is settled. And Jackie’s carcass is far too real, they can’t change her back into a corpse. Nat tries, bless her heart. But Tai’s screaming reaction at having eaten Jackie’s face is only an externalisation of the grief and horror and agony they’re all going through.
And after Jackie they starve again. Hope and heat and light dwindles further. Every single day they all take another step towards death. That’s what starvation is, it’s the same thing as dying, you die a little bit every day until you can’t die anymore.
Kristen falls. Misty doesn’t even consider that she might bring her back as meat. If she had’ve, she might think, maybe she’d be considered like ... heroic. It doesn’t even occur to her. She’s not going to LET those bitches eat her one and only friend, and she goes out of her way to protect her.
Shauna has her horror show birth. And, no matter WHAT the context is, she produces.... meat. In the most awful, brutal way. And while the fandom made so many jokes and stuff, the reality is that yes... at least to an extent there was real nutrients there. And it was never once even brought up as an option, by these desperate, starving girls. 
When Coach tries to kill himself, here’s a ready source of willing meat. And Misty uses it as a threat to stop him. But it’s hollow, she’s just putting on fake fangs to try to keep him safe. She’s not actually that vicious thing that she’s pretending to be, just like she’s not actually homophobic.
When Lottie tells Misty to eat her if she dies, Misty fights her on it. Lottie has to insist. Then when she tells the rest of the team, they are so overwhelmed with the selflessness of the gesture that it inspires them to twist it into their first hunt. That’s what it takes. The hunt is an act of self-sacrifice and love.
And so we get to the hunt. The proto-pit-girl, we’ve come full circle and we start to learn all these answers to questions posed in act 1 scene 1. And they’re not the answers that were assumed.
How do they get to the point of eating each other? They sacrifice themselves willingly, for the sake of each other’s survival.
Why do they hunt the way they do? Because Shauna just can’t stand to murder a friend in cold blood, a friend she cares for and has no reason to hate.
Why the spike pit? Because it keeps the blood off their hands. Because it lets them blame It and preserve a tiny fragment of their innocence.
Why the weird symbols? The ritual itself? Because they need SOMETHING to hold onto, to make it all make sense.
Why so brutal? Is it? We THINK it’s brutal. It’s certainly bloody. But Pit Girl dies almost instantly. Her pain is over fast. She doesn’t have a good time going into it, obviously, none of them want to die. But she chose to run, she could’ve taken the knife instead. And the spike trap was efficient. Yes they drag her through the snow and string her up, but it’s mechanical and just part of the process and she’s dead already. Her pain is over fast, it’s not sadistic.
Why do they chop her up into chunks like that? Because nobody wants to eat her face. Because nobody wants to struggle with her humanity, they want her to look just like any other meat. So that they might be having deer or bear or ... friend. They’re eating because they are biological machines that need to eat, that NEED death to survive. They didn’t ask to be made the way they are, and they’re doing their best to cope. Shauna, probably blindly, takes on that responsibility, to transform their friend into unrecognisable meat to change a corpse into a carcass. She takes that pain for them, holds that sin for them, out of love. So they can eat, so they can survive.
What’s with the creepy horror masks? During the ritual they can’t handle being themselves. They create alternate versions of themselves to hold what must be done. The masks aren’t there to scare anyone, because there IS NO AUDIENCE. The masks are there to hide behind. That’s why Misty takes hers off at the end of the scene. The ritual is over and they can go back to being people again.
Why is Misty fucking Quigley in charge? Because she CAN be. Because she’s strong enough. If Lott/Nat/The AQ is the goddess/queen, Misty is the priestess/handmaiden, tasked with actually carrying out her orders. She interprets the queens words when she’s too weak, she provides counsel when she needs it, she tells the team what they need to hear in the moment, she gives out the micromanagement. Misty’s the power behind the throne, because when she says she’ll do something she fucking follows through. No matter the cost. And what the team NEEDS, whether they choose to admit it or not, is a backbone.
So...
They bring home Javi. The music uses a reference that’s never been done before. It uses the spiritual powerballad that was playing when Laura Lee tried to fly away. It builds the expectation of Great Things, of big, potent ...
And then it just stops. As the girls are faced with the reality of what’s laying on the table. The cold, blue corpse of a soft child who never hurt anyone. No matter what they do, no matter how hard they try they just cannot make him a carcass. But they have made the choice already, and if they turn back now it’s not like it’ll bring him back. They’ll just be starving and regretful as he rots.
So Shauna, blind and shaking, does the best she can. And when she brings in the meat, she - of all people - understands EXACTLY what Travis is going through. She knows what he needs. Because she’s been here. With Jackie. So she brings him Javi’s heart. His core. His love. His soul.
(She doesn’t bring him Javi’s head. She cuts that off and puts it aside so nobody has to eat his face... Some things are worth more than pure nutritional survival.)
And Travis, god bless him, does the only thing he can do left to respect Javi. He takes his heart, and he bites it, raw and bloody.
It hurts him to do so. It disgusts him so much, but he manages not to throw up. It disgusts the girls too, but they watch on, horrified. And that’s the POINT. Travis makes sure that before they do this, before they do what they have to... that they all remember this is Javi, this is human, this is a person. And he preserves the horror. For all their sakes. And only then, after he’s given his blessing, after he’s done his human acts, do these starving, ravenous girls allow themselves to reach for their food.
S1E1. Act 1, scene 1. We do not know who Pit Girl is. We do not know the exact circumstances that get us there. But we do know where we started now. What the original meaning is behind each of these little things. And it’s not brutality, not barbarism. It’s love. It’s not lord of the flies, a bunch of monstrous human-shaped creatures giving in to their primal nature and predating on each other. It’s a team of terrified people desperately clutching at their own humanity as hard as they can. Trying SO hard not to let that glass break, to not become the thing that the framing of act 1 scene 1 tried so VERY hard to convince us they were. Context changes everything.
And the proof is in the pudding. After they eat Jackie the shock explodes throughout the cabin. The atmosphere is thick, and horrific. Now with Javi, reduced to simple meat, carefully and lovingly seperated from what made him human, so they can grieve him while they sate their natural needs, the mood post-eating is calm and soft and warm and loving. For once they’re all together,  with grateful full stomachs and in a time of peace and plenty. They’ve done the impossible and maintained their humanity and love for each other and their respect for Javi in a nearly impossible situation.
*takes a deep breath*
Which brings us to THIS asshole.
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Right from the start, Jackie is only kind of part of the team. She’s the team captain, put up there by Coach Martinez, but not because she’s the best of them but because she can maybe wrangle them into doing better. And they KNOW that she’s not really one of them. They plot around her, and just don’t bring her in on it. They put up with her, more than loving her, she’s just kind of forced upon them. But she does her best, to try to maintain some semblance of order, giving pep talks and the like.
Wait, Jackie? I mean coach. My bad.
Anyway, so Jackie has one friend, Shauna. She SEEMS popular, and everyone talks to her, but Shauna’s the only one who actually likes her. And Shauna’s her connection point to the team. She’s got one foot on each side, and is torn as to where her real loyalties lie.
Sorry I’m talking about Jackie again.... weird.
In S1E9/10 Shauna finally chooses the team, for real. And Jackie tries to pull her back away, but Shauna puts her foot down. No way, she counters, I’m ON the team, you’re the odd one out. Why don’t YOU leave, Jackie? Jackie looks around at the burgeoning cult, she thinks “Look at these evil monstrous bitches, and now Shauna’s one of them TOO?” And instead of finding a compromise, instead of doing introspection, instead of anything like that, Jackie goes and freezes to death because it turns out that sheer rage won’t keep you warm in sub zero temperatures. Because no matter what happens, Jackie’s Right and it’s more important to her to be Right than Included. If she’s not in charge than why is she even THERE?
Hold on, I see my mistake. Let me backtrack.
Right from the start, Coach is only kind of part of the team. He’s trying to hide from his real life, from Paul and the complexities of being genuine in society by taking on the job of coaching the ‘jackets. And they KNOW that he’s not really one of them. He’s just the guy they have to listen to, because society put him there. But he tries his best, giving pep talks and the like.
So Coach has one friend, Natalie. He SEEMS popular, and everyone talks to him, but Nat’s the only one who actually likes him. (Ignore Misty, a schoolgirl comphet crush is not the same thing). And Nat’s his connection point to the team. She’s got one foot on each side, and is torn to where her real loyalties lie. Sometimes she’s on the bench with Coach, complaining about the state of things. Sometimes she’s in the thick of it with them all, and Coach is nowhere to be found.
In S2E9, Nat finally chooses the team, for real. And Coach tries to pull her back, but Nat puts her foot down. No way, she counters, I’m ON the team, I’m worse than them, you’re the odd one out. Go, save yourself, you don’t belong in this place. Coach looks at a table covered in blood and gore, at Nat’s face, at the rest of the team pledging fealty to her. And instead of looking for context, or looking for compromise, or even remotely trying to understand what he’s looking at he thinks
Look at these evil monstrous bitches. They’re eating each other. They’ve all gone mad. They’ve even gotten Nat now. There’s no hope for them, there’s no hope for anyone out here.
And he decides that they’re corrupt. That the way you deal with that is fire. And he’s wrong.
(I have a theory that he’s gone and jumped off the cliff, that he set the fire to clear the corruption, and now like Jackie, unable to live in this situation any longer, he’s decided to die himself. I’d not be surprised to find him in s3e1 that way)
Jackie was a frustrating, difficult person. Because no matter how things went she just COULDN’T let go of the fact that she was trying to fit a mold that just didn’t suit her. She was raised with super high expectations, when she was really just kind of mid. And that’s fine, honestly, most people ARE mid, that’s why it’s mid. But she refused to see that those around her were shedding their social pressures, were adapting to the wilderness. They weren’t having a good time, they weren’t hunting and foraging because they were out there, camping for fun. Nobody wanted to be there. They were just trying not to complain about it, because they were all in the same boat.
Coach is similar. He simply won’t adapt. Refuses to. I mean this is a guy who’s STILL trying to live in the closet when there’s open lesbians making out in public around him. Who thinks of others as inherently monstrous when he himself, as a gay man, should know better. Because that’s what trying to fit your society-assigned role does to you.
It’s no accident that he and Jackie both spend a long time in the woods and neither of them can do something as basic as start a fucking campfire. Javi, a little kid, survived for MONTHS on his own in that cave. Coach couldn’t make it a day alone. Jackie couldn’t get through a night. They both rely so heavily on the team without ever once recognising it. Because SOMEONE was keeping the fires going. They both just ... refused to engage.
And just like Jackie can’t see that they’re not having fun out there in the woods, on the knifes edge of survival, Coach can’t see that they’re not having fun when they are so desperate they feel it’s warranted to sacrifice one of their own. He always thought of them as monsters, and he just sees what he expects to: a bunch of stupid useless teenage girls, finally doing what he always expected they would.
At any point... At ANY point he could’ve come in from the cold. He could’ve just accepted reality as they have. He could’ve taken some meat and accepted the price, as they have, joined them in their GRIEF about it, shared their humanity, and survived. Just as Jackie could’ve come in from the cold, and become part of the whole. But instead, they sit in the cold, consumed by their bitter hate, and decide that no, it’s everyone ELSE who’s wrong.
And who emerges from the burning cabin? A bunch of scared kids. Shauna, the FIRST cannibal, who saves Jackie’s prom dress before anything else. Travis, who grabs Javi’s wolf. Nat who grabs the ammunition - that they NEVER use on each other - because if they lost that they’d get SERIOUSLY desperate. And they protect each other, they make sure everyone makes it out. These supposed monsters who are so far gone they don’t even care about eating each other go out of their way to save each other, not just themselves.
Because Coach is wrong. Just like Jackie was wrong. Just like WE were wrong, in s1e1. Which brings me to my actual point.
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This question is asked so many times in S1 it’s almost a mantra. And the ‘jackets’ oath of silence really builds up that it must’ve been something REALLY bad, right? But S2E9 has really made me recognise that fundamentally... Act 1 Scene 1 is entirely what everyone who asks this question is expecting.
Imagine they DID know what really happened out there. With that bloodthirsty fucking look in their eyes...
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They’re not looking for an answer. They’re looking for a story. For an exciting spooky nightmare they didn’t take part in, so they can get a shiver and a thrill they didn’t earn.
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They’re not looking for a love story. They’re not looking to hear how HARD these scared, tragic, broken people fought to hold onto their morals and their humanity and their sanity even against their own survival. They’re not interested in Shauna blinding herself just to try to stop her hands from shaking. They’re not looking to hear about Travis choking down the blood of his brother just to make sure that he can really FEEL it. So he can share the guilt, and never ever pretend like it’s Just Meat. The look in his eye when he can’t think of any good response to Van’s arguments that he needs to let Javi save him. What they want is...
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They don’t want the context. And if the ‘jackets ever did try to tell anybody what actually DID happen out there, all they would see is ... Episode 1, Act 1, Scene 1. A bunch of monsters. Eating each other. Just like Jackie. Just like Coach. Just like we did, on first glance.
I’ve been saying this whole time that Yellowjackets is doing something really special. That it’s letting us see behind the curtain, that while everyone’s asking this big question, “what really happened?”, we’re the ones who get to know. Because it can’t be told. It can’t be spoken. It can only be seen. Experienced. I think that S2 has finally finished the first major arc in the teen timeline, that we now have the context to understand what comes next. And I do believe that it will get messy, it will devolve. Into fighting and screaming and battles. It’s tragic, but it looks like that’s the downward spiral, spiraling. As Travis and Nat deal with the guilt of what they did with Javi for each other. As Shauna and Nat butt heads and people pick sides. As Misty Mistys. As resources get even more desperate now their shelter is gone. As potentially new people (hikers? other cabin people?) get brought into conflict with them (I believe the cabin is a smoke signal, personally).
But don’t ever forget that we got here with love. Expect that the downward spiral will be lubricated with toxic, broken, codependant, self-destructive love as well. Watch them love each other to death... they’ve already begun.
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amnesique · 10 months
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do you write smut? if you do, can you write the scene in episode 1(i think?) where belly tells conrad to quit smoking and he says "what will you give me if i do" but that it leads to smut?
and can you do it with x reader instead of belly if possible please, thank you so much :)
what'll you give me if i do? — conrad fisher
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warnings: SMUT (18+, MINORS DNI!), dirty talk, fingering, protected sex, p in v.
there was a wave of fog that enveloped every girl that stood around conrad fisher, as if it was encouraging them to pluck up the courage to pass through it to try to understand what was happening to the boy, besides the silence that surrounded him wherever he was. and yet, none of them seemed to succeed. at least, not yet.
the fisher boy was sitting in the back yard, by the pool, with his feet in the water as he was lazily smoking a cigarette. something you saw him doing more and more that summer, even though that summer had just started.
being belly's cousin, the daughter of his mother's best friend, it wasn't out of the ordinary for you to spend the summer with them, although the fact that you jumped into the pool, as if was out of nowhere, caught him a little off guard.
he was staring fixedly with a cigarette in hand at the place where you had plunged into the water.
“sorry,” you murmured to him after getting out of the water, not before flipping your already damp hair back. "i haven't seen you here," you added, trying to adjust your vision, because of the water on your face.
"no problem," he replied dryly, taking another drag from his cigarette.
typical conrad fisher, you thought, as you suddenly just then noticed the fact that he was smoking, after your gaze had adjusted enough.
"since when do you smoke?” you asked him in a tone that was meant to be accusing, but it only ended up making conrad smile at the corner of his mouth, immediately after blowing the cigarette steam into the dark night sky.
"don't tell me you care," he said, running his tongue across the front of his teeth, accentuating his smile from before.
he took another drag from his cigarette, his gaze locked on you as he did so.
you didn't know what to answer.
you didn't care, did you?
but your mouth got you ahead of you and you found yourself telling him "i think you should quit."
"what'll you give me if i do?"
you didn't know what had made you stop breathing in the first place, his words or the way he let the smoke leave as he continued to have a smile on his face, this time actually looking more of a grin than a smile.
conrad knew that smoking can be attractive to certain girls, even for you —despite the fact that you had just suggested that he quit—, and he took full advantage of it.
acting on the spur of the moment, you swam the remaining distance between you and rose to the surface in just a few seconds. you put your arms on either side of his body, leaning on the edge of the pool for balance, and you suddenly connected your lips with his while he put out the cigarette.
he quickly took the opportunity to wrap his free arm around your waist to help keep you afloat, as he rushed to deepen the kiss the moment your lips parted slightly over his when you felt his touch on your wet skin, ignoring the presence of your bathing suit.
he was so good at kissing you that you were so damn grateful for his arm holding you. because if it hadn't been there, then you would surely have drowned already if you had to support yourself alone.
a faint sound left your lips as, using his hand around your waist, he pulled you all the way over his lap, lifting you out of the pool. a sound that he would've liked to hear endlessly.
only, being the wrong people at the wrong time, jeremiah and steven showed up outside the house, making a lot of noise before they noticed you, and you immediately pulled away from conrad, leaving him yearning for having you again in his lap.
you were preoccupied with looking at each other, both mentally cursing the two of them —conrad more than you—, that you didn't even realize what they were talking about. not until steven addressed conrad specifically, "come on, man, we're leaving," he said with excitement visible all over his face and conrad struggled to look away from you to look at him. "you ready?"
you weren't aware of what it was about, but it didn't matter either, because conrad was quick to turn him down. "actually, change of plan, man, i can't come tonight."
both steven and jeremiah looked at him confused.
steven raised an eyebrow. "how? why?" he asked.
conrad fisher was not a man of many words, so he just shrugged and said, "something else came up."
jeremiah and steven exchanged glances, not knowing whether to believe him or not, but neither of them would've thought that the thing that came up was actually someone and you were right in front of them. eventually they gave up and left the backyard, leaving you alone with conrad again and with a tension between you which could not be overlooked, the desire still being on both sides.
"soo," you lengthened the letter because you didn't know what to say, "good night, i think," you added and you wanted to leave, but he grabbed your hand and when you looked at him, you couldn't take your eyes off his gaze and the way you could see he was longing for you.
"good night?" he used a tone to tease you and a grin appeared at the corner of his mouth. "it would be a good night if you continued what you started."
"what?"
your cheeks flushed and you stared at him like a deer in the headlights.
oh, your naivety.
it attracted him even more that even though you were perfectly aware of what you had started, you were unaware of the effect you were having on him.
he pulled your hand so that your legs were around his lap again, placing his hands on your back, lightly forming circles on it with his long fingers, and his lips on your neck. when you felt his lips on your neck, you involuntarily arched your back and moved against his growing erection, having him gasping to try and keep his control.
"don't move," he warned you, his mouth now close to your ear as he lowered his hands to your waist to stop you.
but the area where you needed him was starting to throb and yearn for his touch, forgetting about the layers of clothing that would separate you both from making skin to skin contact.
you tried to tell him that, but instead you made a soft sound, almost like a whimper, and he couldn't resist the temptation anymore and pressed his lips to yours, kissing them as if hungrily as if he had been waiting for this moment for a long time.
and so it was.
only he knew how often it became painful to see you in a short dress or a bathing suit, making him think about how you would look without any clothing item.
during the kiss, you started to rub against him again taking advantage of his carelessness and when your pulsing core made contact with his length, your lips parted and you sent a soft moan into his mouth, right before his tongue entered your mouth and entwined with yours in a dance of desire.
you continued the kiss for several seconds, conrad completely dominating you while you tried to keep up with him.
you broke the kiss, leaning back just as you could breath and whispered under heavy breath, "we shouldn't be doing this."
"why?" conrad asked you, breathing just as hard, running his finger over your bottom lip.
"anyone can see us here," you said and you weren't phased that you saw another grin appear on his face.
"let that be our last problem,” he replied and lifted you off of him, taking you over his shoulder and covering your bottom with his hand as he slipped through the back door to go up to his room, without you two bumping into the belly or even worse, into one of the mothers.
you reached his room and he put you down, with your back to the door, as soon as he made sure he locked it, and the way he looked at you made your thighs squeeze around nothing.
"i think you should ditch the swimsuit, love, or you'll catch a cold."
you swallowed hard, looking at him as he measured you from head to toe, and you couldn't go on even though you wanted it more than anything.
he noticed your avoidance and moved closer to you, playing with the strap of your swimsuit, his breath blowing lightly heat against your skin. he couldn't be more wrong than that. there was no way you could catch a cold, even though your bathing suit was indeed still wet, when your whole body was on fire for him.
"do you want me to help you?" he whispered, brushing your hair aside with his free hand so he could see your neck.
with your breath caught in your throat, you nodded your approval and his hand lifted your chin with two fingers, bringing your lips to his.
"with words, love."
you snapped out of your trance, muttering an "yes", just to urge him on.
his hands slowly went down one strap at a time, taking his sweet time to look at your chest as it was right under his nose, and he couldn't control himself and grabbed both of your breasts with his hands, gently massaging them, drawing a weak moan from you. he ran his tongue over one of them, continuing to caress the other as he removed the entire bathing suit from your body and moved down, wanting to run his mouth over your body, but you stopped him, instinctively grabbing him by the hair to get his attention, and he could've sworn he was almost ready to finish in his pants, right then and there.
"aren't your clothes also wet after the moment before?" you asked, and he gave you a knowing smile.
he pulled away from you, the smile still playing on his lips, and he removed one item of clothing one at a time, earning a sigh from you each time. you liked what you saw.
he was only in his boxers and started to come towards you, but you put your hand on his chest, stopping him. “not fair,” you said and looked at him seriously, so he chuckled in a low tone and took them off as well, leaving you both completely naked in the moonlight that filtered through the blinds of the bedroom window.
plucking up some courage and trying not to think about how big he was, you pulled his neck towards you and you kissed him, as he pushed you back towards the bed until you fell on it. he leaned over you, continuing the kiss and helping you get comfortable between his pillows.
"are you sure?" he asked and you agreed. he moved his hand down between you and when he reached your opening he felt how wet you were and he smirked against your lips. "all this for me?" he asked teasing you but inserted a finger of his inside you, making you open your mouth slightly. "shh, love," he cooed, and kissed you briefly, earning your moans as he inserted another finger and and he curled them just right so he can touch the place that made you lose yourself under him. "we wouldn't want anyone to hear us, would we?" he continued and asked you between short kisses,
you wanted to tell him you were close, your breathing becoming alert as you followed your release. but he already knew that by the way you squeezed his fingers inside you, so he suddenly withdrew, at which point you whimpered and felt your body begin to calm down, though you still felt the desire pulsing at your core.
"i won't let you finish until you finish when i'm inside you," he assured you and reached to grab a condom from the bedside drawer and open it with his teeth as he roll it on.
you moaned in anticipation, involuntarily clenching your thighs, but he pulled them apart, making a sound of disapproval and positioning himself at your entrance. "i hope you haven't changed your mind because i don't think i can back down now,” he said, tucking a strand of hair, that sticks to your face because of the moisture on it, behind your ear as he watched you while standing on his elbows at the either side of your body. and when he met your gaze, you placed your hands on his cheeks, kissing him and pulling him back down over you, giving him the answer.
he put it inside you, waiting a bit until you squeezed his hand to continue as you both moaned at the contact, and he picked up the speed.
"you feel so fucking good," he said and your moans had become his new favorite sound, he could have listened to you all day and all evening and he would not have had enough.
he was nearing his finish, and he couldn't resist anymore, so his movements became sloppier and faster, as he lowered his hand to massage your clit in small circles to help you both finish at the same time.
the only sounds in the room were your hurried, strangled breaths, and the sounds of wetness as his body pounded inside you, until the released washed up over you both, and he fell on your chest.
"it was amazing. worth quiting smoking for," he said unexpectedly from the euphoric high he was feeling, —more euphoric than the feeling he got from smoking—, and you giggled under him, hiding your face with a hand as the other one hugged his body softly.
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luckykiwiii101 · 3 months
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What I Will Be Manifesting This Week :
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What I will be manifesting this week:
- Desired Body (Revised)
- Always Waking Up In The Void State Aware
- That my 3D always conforms in under 48 hours
What Will I Be Doing?
- Embodying the state of having my desires.
- Fulfilling myself in imagination whenever I think of my desires.
- Fulfill through visualisation and inner conversations because that is what feels most natural to me.
What Will I Manifest In The Void State?
- Desired Face & Body but with some finishing touches. (doll - like, kind of like Karen smith from mean girls)
- Desired Height (5’7)
- Desired hair (doll - like)
- Desired Name (so elegant and pretty!)
- Desired Personality
- Desired voice (singing & speaking)
- Desired Vibe (90s Supermodel)
- Desired house (so luxurious)
- Desired room (Barbie x Gossip Girl themed)
- Desired Wardrobe (Blair Waldorf type outfits)
- iPhone 15 Pro + Desired Phone Case
- New Desired Biological Dad + New cousins & aunties etc to match
- Revising that my parents got married in Paris
- Rich Family
- All my family members are happy and have everything they want
- Privacy
- Pretty School Interior & Exterior
- Desired School Uniform
- My best friends to live on the same road as me and to have everything they want.
- Perfect mental and physical health for all my loved ones.
- Desired Career to start early (Supermodel for when i’m 17)
- Perfect Posture
- Perfect Eyesight
- Perfect Culinary & Baking Skills
- Fluency in French & Dutch
- Piano Prodigy + being able to play desired songs on it
- Good at playing electric guitar
- Changing Appearance of my family members
- Revising my family’s names
- Always knowing what to say
- Family celebrates holidays like Christmas & Halloween
- Revising my memories to align with my dream life
- Photographic & audiographic memory
- Perfect grades
- Whenever I listen to a song, it feels like listening to it for the first time again.
- Desired Items
- Immune from embarrassment + Revising that any past embarrassing moments never happened
- Life feels like the early 2010’s again
- Life feels like a Gossip Girl Episode (You know I had to XoXo 💋)
- Life feels like a barbie movie (like princess charm school or smthg idk)
- Looking like desired songs
- Can Choose To feel hot or cold
- airport and plane processes to be always extremely fun and quick for my family, friends and I
- Teen Wolf & The Originals to be put back on Netflix
- Season 3 of One Of Us Is Lying to come out
- Some cute things for my pets
- Always know what my pets want
- My whole family to have good taste in fashion
- Go on nice holidays every year
- Materialise something instantly by affirming for it x3
- Kind, Respectful & Secular Family
- Disgusting Roadman fashion in London to be stopped (ew if u saw that shizz)
- Fashion to go back to the 90s and early 2000s
- People At School Don’t annoy me
- High Spice Tolerance
- Always Wake Up Feeling Fresh & Energised
- Never late to school
- Desired ear piercings
- Scary Insects never come near me (especially spiders AAAAH!!!)
- I appreciate all aspects of life
- Never abuse my manifesting abilities
- Everything i manifest manifests 10x better than how i imagined
- Basically revising my whole entire life top to bottom
+ much more personal things
Things I Will Be Manifesting For The World:
- World Peace in all realities
- No wars in all realities
- Palestine being free in all realities
- World healing
- Healed society
- Righteous justice system
- No corrupt leaders
- No corrupt governments etc
- Healthcare everywhere is free
- People are good people
- People treat eachother with respect and kindness
Guys, I will definitely go into more depth when i actually materialise all these and post my success story. + Will probably post some picture proof of materialistic things in my home and outfits etc but not my face or anything personal like that.
I wrote everything i’m going to manifest on here because I know i’m not going to be bothered to type it all out when i’m actually living my dream life in the 3D 💀
Share what you guys will be manifesting and stick to your new story so we can all post our successes together!!!
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bibluebutterfly · 5 months
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It is truthfully so impressive to watch how we've watched Stolas grow as a seemingly asshole character to a genuine person who truly does want the best for the person we love. (HEADS UP: This is LONG)
Now, and we're only going to lightly touch on this because the Pilot isn't cannon, but it still contributed to the public opinion on Stolas. In other words, he was borderline predatory in a way that made EVERYONE uncomfortable. (It makes sense though since he was innitially supposed to be the villain. Which thank goodness that was changed because we already see enough bisexual predators in media as it is. Yes, I'm headcannoning that Pilot Stolas was bi.)
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Then we get official episode 1. Stolas is... not much better. Although to his credit, he's not as bad or as creepish. The unfair power dynamic is very there, and he definitely talks down to Blitz, but at least he waits until Blitz agrees before getting to the pilot level of sexual.
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And then we kind of just keep this up until episode 7. Stolas is VERY sexual and VERY horny with Blitz, and you either like it or you don't. It was consensual, nobody forced anything, and even Blitz says that he doesn't fuss about banging Stolas, but that power imbalance is very much there.
Stolas is calling him by pet names like "my little imp" and is baby talking him, which really comes off like his fetish is sleeping with the lower class. Again, you either like Stolas at this point or you don't.
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HOWEVER, despite all his baby talk and just generally inappropriate behavior, we are shown very early on that Stolas has a loving side, mainly in the form of his daughter. "You Will Be Okay" was the thing that got most people from hating him to actually liking him. It was the thing that separated him from just being a horny owl.
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Then Ozzies. Hooo boy. This is where we finally get to see Stolas apart from Blitz's POV and as it turns out... he's kind of a pathetic dork more than anything else. We see him go very low. Like the man is alone in his big house eating cereal for breakfast in his bathrobe and watching telenovelas. It's hard to go lower than that. More importantly, it's a stark contrast from how we saw him just one episode ago.
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Not just that, but when he's asked out on the date he is genuinely so excited and awkward that you just can't help but feel bad for the guy.
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And then we have Hells healthiest couple have their dick moment which leads to Stolas covering his face, validating every and anything Blitz had feared, which lead to him calling out Stolas which leads to them both crying at home.
AND THEN WE GET THE THING THAT MAKES EVERYONE EITHER LOVE STOLAS OR THINK THAT HE'S RUINED.... THE CIRCUS.
Yeah, so it turns out the arranged marriage theory was true, and that Stella has been verbally abusive for who knows how long. But the real kicker is how much it explains Stolas's behavior from season 1. As it turns out, Blitz coming on so strong that night resulted in Stolas trying (badly) to copy that energy. And it turns out that when Blitz told him to stop that first night, he still ended up tying Stolas up and banging him. So... understandable. It turns out that Stolas never wanted to be malicious with his intentions, but genuinely thought that the arrangement was something that they both wanted.
But at the same time, he realizes that misunderstanding or no, a part of him did recognize that Blitz wasn't as happy as he was, and that he can't gaslight himself into thinking otherwise anymore.
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Now the big thing about season 2 we all need to talk about, is how hard and fast it took Stolas off the regal and powerful pedestal that I think we all subconsciously put him on. Whatever mystery and darkness that surrounded him in season 1 went completely out the window in season 2. But personally I believe that this fits as season 1 was mostly told from Blitz's POV while season 2 takes place in Stolas's when he's there.
Stolas does not see himself as something regal and powerful. Stolas, as it turns out, is a romantic as well as a MASSIVE dork. Like he's disney princess levels of dorkiness. The man even gets his own slapstick moment for crying out loud.
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But aside from that, he's highly intelligent and a genuinely good person who will put others before him if he can recognize the benefit.
Also, while we're on the topic, I don't think that Stolas is as powerful as we or Blitz were led to believe. Like yes, he's got immense power to those who have none.
But at the same time, put him next to Asmodeus, and this demon who seemed so strong before is actually tiny in comparison. Especially when noted that Ozzie was still holding back in this scene.
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Now we have the "Look My Way" MV. By now, any dark mystery is gone, we know who Stolas is, but what we didn't expect to see was how blatantly Stolas realized his mistakes and took responsibility. This whole season we saw him be sad over his relationship with Blitz, but we never expected him to realize just how badly he messed up.
But he did. And it was glorious. And again, we realize how much he truly cares for Blitz, this isn't just him saying "I care about him" then doing nothing. This is him realizing he cares about Blitz, and wanting to do something to make it right. Even if that means Blitz will never want to see him again.
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Anyway. If you made it this far, I'm impressed. As I've said before, I'm proud of the owl boy and how far he's come as a character. Tell me if you think I missed anything.
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unoislazy · 4 months
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BES College Au Headcanons
Characters included: Mizu, Taigen, Ringo, Akemi, Madame Kaji
There are some Mizu x Reader hints shoved in here
A/N: I’m just gonna stop saying what I plan to write next cause every time I do I suddenly either can’t write anymore or something ruins my plans entirely
Also there was an ask that went with this but It got lost in my inbox so I’m sorry to whoever asked but here you go!
Cutie Patootie
————————————————————
Mizu In College
-mizu barely does her homework
-why write things when train?
-she practically lives at the gym
-just cause it’s modern doesn’t mean she has to stop training
-you’d meet her through class
-you had to sit next to her and she was incredibly intimidating at first
-eventually, thanks to certain professors incessant need to give group work, you had to talk to her and realized she’s not as scary as she first seemed
-she’s not a huge party goer
-the one and only time she’d go to a party is because you invited her to go with you after you were invited by Taigen
-Taigen would essentially be a frat boy
-I know you saw how he was with those women who WERENT AKEMI in the first episode
-mizu wouldn’t be able to stand him
-despite not sticking around you the entire time Mizu would literally watch you like a hawk
-she doesn’t have many friends so she doesn’t really have any other reason to be there
-she’s just being a “good friend”
-she’s not a huge drinker either, but if she gets bored she’d take a few sips
-then a few more
-and maybe just a few more
-Taigen would invite you to a party and probably try and hit on you despite it being well known that him and akemi are together
-mizu, of course would’ve seen this, and swooped in no matter how far past tipsy she might’ve been
-she’s good at faking being sober
-100% would “fake” being your partner if it meant getting people to leave you alone
-Mizu is often still seen as a guy but given the time period I’d honestly think she’d go by any pronouns
-I don’t think she would necessarily care if people use he/him for her, but I think she’d prefer she/her
How they get food
-Ringo would complain about dining hall food, but in a very constructive way
-he’d stand in the hall talking at the lunch people (they wouldn’t be listening) about how to improve the meals
-he’d have to be dragged out before he’d talk their ears off
-mizu literally could care less, food is food, she doesn’t eat much anyways
-akemi door dashes, with the money she has? She can afford it
-Taigen probably leeches off akemi
Work Habits
-Mizu’s a HEAVY procrastinator
-Akemi does her work and often gets very good grades
-she has to make her dad proud
-Ringo studies but he gets lost VERY easily
-Taigen does his work but, much like Mizu, he practically lives at the gym so sometimes some things slide under his radar and affect his grade
-he’s scramble to make it up last minute and somehow still get credit
Professor Kaji?
-Madame Kaji as a professor is a funny thought to me
-she wouldn’t be, if anything she’d just work at a club considering that would’ve probably have been the modern day equivalent to a tea house such as hers
-but if she was she would’ve been super strict
-especially on the students who couldn’t give two shits about her class and make it obvious
-she’s have a very rigorous course
-but if she saw a student failing who she knew was actively trying, she’d lighten up a bit and offer actual help (unlike almost every real life professor ever)
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remember-the-fanfics · 2 months
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Hai, so um I really like the Gen-Z overlord Reader, bc well they are basically me, if you are able/want to can you make some possible angst headcanons? Like how they miss home or their friends
Just Before the pilot episode
I'm trying so hard to have a timeline, everything is connected! I just have it in no order.
This is shorter than usual.
• You would have so many things to be sad about
• Like how you could never live your life before you died
• Missing all your friends because they'll (hopefully) get to grow old
• Your family grieving over your life being taken to soon.
• Older sibling never got to see you truly become an adult without your parents
• Younger sibling missing you, who just got them in a way where they could annoy you but you would still protect them afterwards.
• Parents/Guardian losing their child way to soon.
• You usually avoid those thoughts, having to do be someone strong daily for the people you protect.
• You already had time to mourn the future you never got and everyone you miss when you weren't an Overlord.
• So pushing your grief all the way down inside to never see the light of day.
"Haha, nope."
• Until you seeing or smell something like home and it hits you, hard.
• Then you're back being a child, who just wants their parents to comfort them from a nightmare.
• You're with Angel Dust, Vaggie, and Charlie. Doing an exercise that Charlie ropped you into.
• When something of the moment of true trust reminds you of home.
• The last place it was completely given so freely.
• Angel Dust nugges you saying it was your turn again.
• Before realizing you had tears that started stream down your face.
• He tried to cheer you up with a joke
"Didn't think the exercise was that bad."
• Didn't work for the most part.
• You were laughing, while crying. Creepied him out and got the others attention.
• You just wanted to go home, back to the people you care about.
• But you could never go back, you were dead.
• Why does it feel so unfair that you died before you actually got to live.
• Getting up while everyone was asking you if you were alright
"Ha ha, no."
• Heading to your room because you didn't want to drag everyone else's mood down with you.
• Only to be stop by Angel Dust, who knows how you feel about missing your family but not understanding that your grief about missing your life.
"I didn't get to live my life, Angel! I died less than two months after I turned 18, I still lived with my parents! My family and friends had to bury me, I have to wait while everyone I know get to live."
• Angel Dust did not know you were that young.
• This is the first time most of them saw you be more than just chaotic.
• Heading to your room to be alone finally
• After you got your emotions back inside because you are still needed by many people.
• Avoided Charlie for awhile because she wanted you to talk about your feelings
• Then Vaggie when Charlie got sad about it.
• You stayed away from the hotel for a week, wanting stayat your territory for the extermination any way.
• Texts Charlie and Vaggie, that you would be back afterwards.
• Charlie texting you about an interview she has the day after.
• Vaggie texts you to stay safe until then.
• Missing your family from life and realizing that you made your own type of family-friendship in hell.
• Not having time to process it when you see an explosion from a far and you know who would be there and rushing there to make sure they'll be okay.
-
And that leads you into the whole being there when Carmilla killed an exorcist.
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percheduphere · 3 months
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LET'S TALK ABOUT "HE'LL MAKE IT BACK"
Special thank you to @mmobiuses, @starrose17, and @stevenrogered whose gifs make-up the lion's share of this post. Thank you to all the other amazing gif artists as well, without you, my metas won't be possible.
This might come as a surprise to a lot of people, but I actually wasn't big on Lokius until Season 2. I thought Loki and Mobius made a cute ship in Season 1, but that was the extent of it. In truth, I lost interest in the Loki series by the S1 finale and had 0 interest in watching S2. I didn't give the series another try until I saw positive reviews on Tumblr. I therefore started watching S2 when S2E4 dropped.
LOKI SEASON 1
Enjoying the potential love story between two characters is a deeply personal and subjective experience. So take what I say as my personal experience observing Loki and Mobius's relationship.
I fully believed Mobius loved Loki in S1 in the platonic sense. Tom Hiddleston has given a few interviews on Loki's and Mobius's relationship and seems to believe in this sentiment as well [see 5:30-7:30 and 10:57-11:00]).
That is to say, in S1, I didn't feel, "Oh, my god ... he loves him." It was more, "Yes, he loves him", there is no question, his actions prove it.
There is wiggle-room for unrequited love in the S1E4 interrogation scene, but the jealousy Mobius exhibited could have just as easily been a combination of anger on behalf of his murdered colleagues and platonic jealousy.
However, I felt the first hint of unrequited love from Mobius occurred during his goodbye scene with Loki in S1E5. Specifically, this look:
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I had no expectations for that look to pay off in any way. Season 2 surprised me.
LOKI SEASON 2
S2E1 is amazing episode because, through subtext, it reframes how Mobius's S1 emotions may be interpreted with stronger evidence for romantic motivation. In this episode, there appears to be a subtle, gradual build-up to the moment that Mobius's love for Loki may be viewed as fully romantic. Let's break down the episode and look at the progression:
First, learning that Loki is at the TVA: *sigh* I can't find the "Loki's here?" gif.
Second, and perhaps the most infamous, the reunion and whole-body support Mobius provides Loki in the TVA War Room (physical comfort):
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Third, Mobius bringing Loki somewhere safe and quiet, assuring him that "it's okay" (emotional comfort):
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Fourth, Mobius insisting that Loki's condition must be fixed, not once but twice, in two different scenes. A third (writer's magic 3s!) instance occurs in the Heart of the TVA, just before the gangway scene (prioritizing the other):
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Fifth, Mobius's admission that Loki's timeslipping looks horrible, and he can't look at it anymore. He repeatedly stresses to Loki how serious this is (emotional and physical empathy):
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Sixth, Mobius taking Loki to exact right person who can help. This is particularly significant, because Mobius is the only person in MCU canon who has verbally expressed concern for Loki's physical well-being and took immediate action to stop the pain (act of service):
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Seventh, the third time Mobius prioritizes Loki's wellbeing. He scolds Loki and reminds him they have only one shot at getting his timeslipping corrected before the temporal radiation becomes too high (prioritizing the other):
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Eighth, Mobius interrupting Loki, insisting that he will make it back. The subtext here is that no other outcome is acceptable or thinkable for Mobius (emotional comfort):
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Finally, Ninth, the clincher: "He'll make it back." (self-comfort)
This scene is everything to me. Moments 1 through 8 build-up to this singular moment. Let's do a micro-analysis on it.
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After Loki timeslips, the camera stays on Mobius. It tracks him as he kneels down to pick-up the time sick, the last thing Loki touched. The camera then pans up as Mobius rises.
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@stevenrogered, THANK YOU for this gifset. It's literally the only one I could find that captures the camera tracking Mobius after Loki disappears, and this is my all-time favorite Mobius scene.
Mobius stands for a moment, motionless, and the camera holds on his facial expression. He's staring at where Loki WAS for extended period of time (keep this in mind for later). He's holding his breath. He's worried, scared, and hopeful, not for himself and the danger he faces on the gangway, but for Loki.
Finally, he exhales as he says to himself, "He'll make it back".
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This entire sequence--particularly the moment when Mobius picks-up the time stick and holds it in silence--made me feel, "Oh ... Oh ... he loves him."
The camera stays with Mobius, capturing his reaction to this high-stakes situation for a significant amount of time (@loki-us, maybe you can get this timed starting from the moment Loki disappears and Mobius starts to kneel to pick-up the time stick?). Cinematographers don't do this type of hold unless they want to illicit a strong emotion from the audience regarding the character we are focusing on in the moment.
My insides swooped, which rarely ever happens when I view film or television.
And this camera hold, this pregnant pause, is mirrored by Loki's stare in S2E5:
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roosterforme · 3 months
Text
How Do You Feel About the Parking Lot? (Rooster x Reader)
Part of The What If Collection of blurbs for Roo and Baby Girl. My masterlist. Banner by @mak-32
Warnings: language, drinking, angst, fluff
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You were excited at first. Very excited. You showed off your ring to everyone and gushed over the fact that you were engaged. And while you were still wearing his mom's engagement ring, it was becoming obvious to Bradley that things were not quite as they should be.
"Hey," he said softly as he walked into the kitchen. It was exactly nine weeks ago that he'd proposed in the dining room and you'd happily accepted that ring that glittered on your finger right now. But tonight you just mumbled something at him without looking up from your computer where you sat at the island. It was nearly midnight on Friday, and he would have given anything for you to start planning this wedding with him. "Are you coming to bed soon? I thought we could talk about potential wedding dates."
"Oh," you replied without looking up at him. "I'm still putting this presentation together."
Bradley sighed. "Baby Girl, you've been working nonstop for weeks. I just want... a little bit of your time." He wanted a lot of things, actually. Like a long snuggle on the couch while you and he watched a movie, or a soak in the tub together. He'd love a blowjob or pinning your hands above your head while he slammed you into the bed. But mostly he'd love to plan his wedding to you, because more than anything, he wanted to get married this year. And it was already late September. 
You glanced up at him and adjusted your glasses. "How about tomorrow? I really need to get this done before my work trip."
"Sure," he whispered before pecking you on the cheek and heading off to climb into bed alone. 
But it only got worse from there. You worked all weekend. On Monday, you didn't come home until seven o'clock. Tuesday was eight o'clock. By Wednesday, he wasn't sure if you were even eating or sleeping any longer. And worse yet, you were leaving for Annapolis in a few days. Bradley wouldn't even see you for a week. Not that he really saw you now, he supposed. 
He ate a bowl of cereal for dinner before sinking down onto the couch with Tramp and a bottle of scotch. He turned on Real Housewives, but he wasn't really watching it. He took a sip, and it burned. But the next one didn't. And neither did the one after that. He started to feel better. But he'd stop when you got home. 
Another episode started, but it still wasn't holding his attention the way you would have, and that's when he realized it was once again seven o'clock, and you still weren't home. When his phone rang, he sloshed some of the alcohol onto his tee shirt reaching for it, and he was praying it was you calling to tell him you were on your way home. 
He pressed his lips together and then took a deep breath before he answered. "Hi, mom."
"Bradley! I haven't heard from the two of you in days! How's your lovely fiancée? And Tramp?"
The dog must have heard her voice through the phone, because he perked right up. But Bradley couldn't answer with anything other than a raspy, "Fine." 
The line went silent. "Are you sick? What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong, mom," he lied. "How are you? How's dad?"
"Well, I went to lunch with Brenda, and I got the scoop on all of her kids. And your dad needs hearing aids, but he keeps arguing with me about it. Maybe you can talk some sense into him, if he can even hear you."
"Okay," he replied, realizing the room had started spinning when he leaned back against the couch.
"Bradley, are you drunk?"
How could she possibly tell? His own wife-to-be couldn't seem to see what was going on, but Carole could tell by his voice from almost three thousand miles away. "I'm... fine, mom. I need to take Tramp for a walk. I love you and dad. Bye."
Then he ended the call, because he could feel tears in his eyes. And when you got home at nine, he was already asleep. 
-------------------------
You needed to go to happy hour with your boss and coworkers on Friday, but you really didn't want to. You'd been pulling twelve hour days, and you were so exhausted, you just wanted to climb into bed with Bradley and sleep until you left for Maryland on a Saturday night red eye flight. You also really needed to tell him that he had to lay off the wedding planning until you finished this work project. It was just a few months of all these extra hours, and you desperately wanted to be promoted. 
Your plan was to stop home quickly and change out of your uniform before heading back out with everyone to celebrate that fact that you were going to present your research at the Naval Academy. When you pulled into the driveway in your shitty, little red car, the Bronco was already there. But when you looked around the house for Bradley, you didn't immediately see him. But then you heard his voice through the open sliding glass door. He was sitting on the back patio in just his gym shorts with his back to the door and a half empty bottle of scotch set on his knee. 
His voice sounded miserable as he said, "I tried, mom. She just... doesn't seem to want to. I don't know what I did wrong." 
You froze in place. He had to be talking about you. Embarrassment and sadness filled you as you listened to what he said next. 
"I really wanted to get married this year."
You ran down the hallway to the bedroom as you fought off your tears. You had to get changed and go right now while you still could. In another week, you'd have a little more time to talk to him about the fact that you couldn't plan a wedding and get married in the next three months with your current schedule. 
You left the house again without talking to him, but he was still sitting on the patio on the phone. And when he dropped you off at the airport the following evening, he didn't seem to want to let you go as he whispered, "I love you, Sweetheart," and ran his thumb along your ring. 
"I love you too, Roo. I'll be home in a week, and then we can talk about maybe planning a wedding for next year?"
He swallowed hard and nodded. "If that's what you want."
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When you landed in Maryland on Sunday morning, you were still exhausted and looking forward to crashing until your presentation on Monday. But Carole called you when you were at the baggage claim, and you knew you had to answer. A guilty feeling was about to eat you alive as you put on a bubbly voice and said, "Hi!"
"Have you arrived in Annapolis?" she asked straightaway, and you sighed because at least she didn't sound angry with you. 
"I did," you told her softly. "Still at the airport."
"Perfect," she replied. "I'll leave now, and I'll be there in less than fours hours, and we can go get lunch."
You were so stunned, you watched your bag go past without realizing you needed to pick it up. "You're going to drive up from Virginia?" you asked her slowly.
"Yes. I'm grabbing my keys right now. Bye, Goose! I'll be back later!" You listened to her call out to her husband, and then a few seconds later, you heard a door close and a car start. She was actually going to drive up here.
"Oh, okay," you muttered, pressing your lips together, embarrassed about where you'd left things with her son. "I'll... see you in a few hours."
You managed to take a short, restless nap while you waited for Carole to arrive. You changed into a simple dress and put on some makeup, but you didn't really feel any better until you met her at a restaurant in the city. She rushed down the sidewalk toward you with a bright smile on her face. "My sweet girl!" she called out, wrapping you up in a hug next to a few tables full of people enjoying their lunch outside. "It's been too long." She kissed your cheek and started to lead you inside. 
"Thanks for driving all the way up here," you told her, not bothering to fight the smile tugging your lips. She was absolute sunshine, and it was pointless to try to resist it. "You didn't have to do this."
"Nonsense," she said as the two of you made your way to a booth. "I wanted to see my future daughter-in-law."
You nodded and enjoyed some pleasant conversation. She told you all about Goose's appointment with an audiologist and about Brenda's kids. And after you finished your avocado toast and bowl of soup, she said, "Now, I think we should talk about what's really important."
Her voice wasn't unkind, and she was still smiling softly, but you knew what was coming as you whispered, "Okay."
Carole reached across the table and took your hand gently in hers. "I know you're smart and independent. And I also know that's part of why Bradley loves you so much. You don't need him. He's not offering you anything you can't get on your own or with someone else. You chose him, because you want him." Tears started to fill your eyes, and you had to swallow against the lump in your throat. "And he just wants you to be happy, so he would never tell you to your face that you're hurting him."
You tried to speak, but you just made a pathetic sound and started to sob. "I don't want to hurt him."
"I know you don't," she replied softly, squeezing your hand. "I know you're not trying to. But I think you need to tell him once and for all that you don't want to get married this year so he can finally get used to the idea of waiting a bit."
You buried your face in your free hand. Why were you trying to push it off anyway? It's not like you really cared where you got married or what the two of you were wearing. Planning some sort of huge celebration was not something you wanted to spend your time doing. You wanted to be with Bradley exactly as you were right now, just with two more rings and a certificate involved. 
When you looked up at Carole, you whispered, "I don't really think I actually want to wait. And I don't want you to hate me either."
"No," she gasped, standing and coming to sit next to your on your side of the booth. She kissed your tear streaked cheek and whispered, "I could never, my sweet darling girl. I think you just need to talk to Bradley, okay? Can you promise me you'll give him a few hours of your full attention? And maybe let him know how much he still means to you?"
"Yes," you croaked, and you let her hold you as you cried.
---------------------------
The week without you was kind of miserable. Bradley managed to dump the rest of the bottle of scotch at Carole's urging over the phone. And he did notice that she and Goose started calling with a bit more frequency which he didn't really mind. But the best part was that fact that you called him every night before you went to bed. 
Every time he answered your calls, his heart thundered in his chest. And as soon as he called you Sweetheart, he could practically hear you smiling through the phone. "I can't wait to pick you up on Friday," he said over and over. If he just felt like he mattered to you again, then he could wait until next year to get married. That was no big deal in the grand scheme of things.
But when he met you in baggage claim at San Diego International late on Friday night, he was so surprised, he could barely speak. You ran for him with a garment bag in your arms, but you let it fall to the floor when you reached him. "Roo," you moaned as soon as you were in his grasp. "I missed you so much." You kissed him deeply. "I just got off the phone with your mom again. And I didn't tell you before, but I went to see my friend Caleb a few days ago," you said as you smirked.
"The tattoo artist?" he asked as he kissed your cheek fifteen times. When you nodded he asked, "What's in the garment bag?"
"My wedding dress."
"Holy shit." He scooped it up off the floor and held it tight. "You bought a dress?" he asked, trying to hold you and the garment bag both to his chest at the same time.
"Yes," you told him matter-of-factly as you tugged him toward the exit while you kissed his lips. "How do you feel about getting married in the parking lot in two months?"
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