#the group behind me is looks five people who are all participating

[lilacgaby]

title: i've changed, won't you see?

pairing: prohero!katsuki x reader

summary: katsuki ruined your life when you were small, giving you a life altering injury, though getting nothing more than a pat on the back. throughout his successes he can't get you out of his mind, so he sets out to make amends with you.

tags: silent voice inspired!! childhood bully katsuki :(, disabled reader, mentions of violence, angst to fluff, su1cide attempt, comfort, implied nsfw, no proofread

(a/n: i wanted to give my hand at really long works while doing drabbles in between but i have so many drafts now jajsjsj)

wc: ~4k

your eyes were always blurry around him it seemed. your hands shaking as your voice cracked, just begging him. "please leave me alone!" with all the might a five year old could muster.

they scoffed at you, they always did. "crybaby. blame your parents for not giving you a quirk. you should've moved when i told you to anyways, it's my park dont you know?" katsuki mocked, moving closer to you, noticing the card behind your back.

"stop being so mean! quirkless people don't do anything wrong!"

"quirkless don't do anything."

your chest was heaving with pain, your little heart couldn't take it. "you-- you'll never be a hero, you're too mean!"

in an act of rage, he set off an explosion. it was only meant to intimidate you but..

once the smoke settled your screams of terror filled the playground.

blood dripped on the floor, pooling in your hand as your grasped your ear. a ringing was all you could hear, it was driving you crazy.

were you crying? you couldn't tell, you couldn't hear. your eyes were shut as you were filled with panic, the smell of iron flooding your senses.

but katsuki remembered so much more.

the smell of the burned cartilage of your ear, the sight of it, or rather the lack of. the blood that wouldn't stop coming, why wasn't it stopping?

his group that usually rallied behind him was now gone, leaving him and a wailing you alone. he tried to talk to you, but you weren't responding.

he grew the courage to touch you, tapping on your shoulder slowly, but that didn't comfort you. in fact he thought it made it worse, making you bow your head in a defensive position.

he stared at you, unable to move, he was supposed to be a hero like allmight, were you right?

finally, a teacher came running to get you, an ambulance already on the way. they didn't look at katsuki, only at the pitiful state you were in.

you didn't respond to them either.

katsuki felt sick as he stood where you and the teacher had left them. he felt sick as he looked down to the remains of what he'd done to you.

he couldn't process it yet, but he felt a sickening despair and guilt be placed upon his shoulders.

one that wouldn't disappear.

he wasn't blamed for anything, only getting a quirk consolation. they thought he lost control? his parents eyed him as he tried to explain what had truely happened, he didn't know why he was trying, did he want to get punished?

but even after, nothing was done. with a lecture and a couple promises he was sent back to class with nothing done to him.

your life was changed forever though, it was apparent in the way that you seemed even more quiet and closed off. you sat in the back, never spoke to anyone, and got teary eyed when he even stood close to you.

your hair covered your ears constantly, a hearing aid peeking through the strands occasionally. the teacher never forced you to participate, none of them ever made an effort.

the teacher had explained to the class how you were completely deaf in one ear, and extremely hard of hearing in the other. how you'd use sign language from now on, and that the class would learn some in support. they never did though, the conversation going ignored as soon as it was uttered.

you were pulled out of class often, the teacher having to tap you on the shoulder to get your attention. your eyes dejected and your presence small as the person who came to get you made gestures with their hands to you.

you'd been cruelly placed in matching classes 'til your last years of junior high. you'd stayed the same way for forever, it was like a weight placed over his chest.

yet he felt he deserved it. he knew he was messed up. he watched you, a lot. he saw you in the back corners, usually forgotten and ignored. when you were acknowledged you were mocked, people making random hand signs to make fun of the way he forced you to communicate, mocking your unconfident speech right after.

he saw the way you sunk into yourself afterwards, making his heart hurt as you grew impossibly smaller. your hands held your own as you prayed for it to be over.

everytime you'd catch him in the halls, you'd still freeze up. your breath shaky as you bowed and left quickly, making his friends laugh but make him queasy.

that interaction was witnessed by your teacher who, after a day of you not showing up, assigned him to give you your work for the day.

with sweaty palms and a racing heart, he dropped by your house. he knew where it was, of course he did, your mom and his were close industry friends even after the incident.

because you'd never told anyone about what he'd do to you.

he knocked on the door, attempting to seem nonchalant. when you answered though, he felt his heart lurch in his chest.

"[name], uh-- this is your work."

you didn't respond, you looked almost nauseous at the sight of him, it was deserved though.

he placed your work on the floor and walked off, that was the only time he'd spoken to you since the incident,

and he couldn't even apologize.

- - -

U-A wouldn't only be a dream for him, but a release for you both. was it selfish to want to run away from his problems? sure, but it'd help you too.

as everyone in the class exclaimed the names of the schools they picked, unsurprised at katsuki's choice, he pondered on where you'd go.

nobody asked you, so you didn't speak. staying quiet as you looked out the window.

katsuki got accepted into U-A easily, but he couldn't help but feel he lacked the main criteria. he'd hurt people poorly, and couldn't apologize because of his ego.

he felt sick to accept these accomplishments of his, knowing it'd be built up on the foundation of hurting you.

but he did anyway, selfishly. he kept up his harsh demeanor in U-A anyways, working hard and scoring high. he graduated top of his class, job offers to agencies left and right.

he accepted one, working for his old internship officially now. he climbed the ranks quickly, saving lives and catching the attention of the media.

a couple years later, he was a steady number five hero when he took a patrol route over for deku. as he strolled through the city, stores littering the buildings, he saw someone he never thought he'd see again.

you, only now working for your mothers seamstress company. you were embroidering something on the station, hands precise and focused, not noticing him.

he had to keep moving, but.. he made a mental note to come back later.

he finished his patrol anxious, he went to sleep thinking of what he'd even say to you. 'hey sorry for ruining your life, can you forgive me?' he slapped his forehead in frustration.

he searched up basic sign language for beginners, learning a bit. he laughed at the stupid thoughts of your forgiveness that he dreamt of.

"as if i deserve it." he muttered, looking deeply at the ceiling of his room before falling asleep.

as soon as he awoke, he got dressed and prepared. he tried to look causal, as if he wasn't planning this.

he walked in, immediately greeted by your mother who congratulated him on his heroics. "well isn't that dynamite? saving the world i see."

he laughed politely. "i'll be number one soon enough."

"of course! well, what're you looking for? i'll give you a family discount, you grew up so close to [name] didn't you?"

his heart jumped into his throat.

"uh.. we did."

"you two were so adorable! she was so nervous around you, she must've had a crush on you or something!"

"i definitely don't think so."

"oh, you're just being modest." she said, hitting his arm lightly. "there she is now, go and speak to her."

"uh-- i--"

"go!" she shoved him in your direction, making you look up to see him. your lips parted in an unrecognizable expression as you saw him, the line you were working on now crooked as you were left alone together.

it's been about ten years hadn't it? ten years since he last saw you, but a lifetime he needed to apologize for.

he'd learned so much in U-A, outwardly changing his demeanor to what he always aspired to be. but all that meant nothing to you, who only experienced him at his worst.

he awkwardly raised his hand up to you, he did his best to sign while speaking, his hands shaky and unconfident. "hi [name], i'm really sorry about what happened back then."

your eyes followed the movements, your hands absentmindedly wrapping around yourself loosely, defensively.

"i know this is a lot but,

can we be friends?"

he waited anxiously for you to answer, you looking as if you were processing it.

in a grown up, yet timid voice, one that he hadn't heard since you were young, you almost whispered, signing as you did so out of reflex. "thank you, bakugo." your eyes grew watery. great, he just couldn't seem to stop making you cry.

he sat near you after getting wordless permission to, hanging onto every word you spoke, and being mindful to speak in a calm tone himself.

"i.. i'd like a friend, honestly. a new one anyways."

he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding when you said that, but still, it wasn't enough.

he wanted to, no needed to make you happy. the years of torment he subjected you to couldn't be made up by anything less than years of happiness.

after a bit of small talk, him asking you questions about what you'd been up to, how your life was treating you. he zoned out a couple times, thinking of how beautiful you've become.

"what would make you happy, [name]?" he finally said, his head supported on his hand as he gazed at you, making sure to enunciate his words so you could read his lips.

"what makes you ask?"

"i-- i want to make you happy. no matter the cost, it's what you deserve."

she laughed softly at that, her eyes flickering with an indistinguishable expression. "...i always wanted to travel. around the world, to see mountains and landscapes."

"then i'll take you."

"you don't have t--"

"i do. and ill do more [name], what i did to you was-- is horrible. you know that."

"i..

okay, okay bakugo."

"katsuki."

you smiled, "katsuki."

going from having very limited contact with your only friend from high school, to having a prohero come to your shop everyday was jarring. but not unwelcomed.

he brought gifts with him everytime, learning what you'd like and not. it ranged from food to stuffed animals, flowers to accessories, all of which you really appreciated.

you grew closer, eventually starting to meet outside of your mother's shop. at the park or walking around the mall, he'd take you anywhere you wanted to go. he'd pay for everything too, despite your reluctance.

he kept his word to you, and at the end of the month he asked you to come up to his apartment.

a penthouse.

as you walked in, greeted by the shimmering atmosphere of the expensive furniture and decor all around, abstract paintings and trophies littering shelves on the walls.

you stood by the front entrance, taking off your shoes as you walked in. "katsuki?" you asked, looking around.

he came out, a tiny smile on his face. "ya made it." he had something behind his back, "come in [name]."

the apartment was huge to say the least, it becoming even bigger than it looked from the entrance. he guided you to his plush couch, sitting next to you.

"so, i know you said you dreamt of traveling, right?"

at your nod, he pulled out the tickets from behind his back. "i.. got this tickets for you. i didn't want to push it in case you didn't want me to go with you but--"

you cut him off with a hug, tackling him into the couch.

"of course i want you to come,

katsuki."

you signed his name differently than other times,

you'd finally made a name for him.

he hugged back mindfully, so excited to finally have a huge first step in the right direction.

but he still needed to make you happy. "we'll leave in two days if that's okay, i just wanted to give you time to pack."

"okay, that's good."

"do you.. want to stay?" he asked nervously, the thought had popped into his mind and out his mouth in a millisecond.

you blinked, sitting up on his legs, pondering it over.

"sure, okay."

he put on some movies for the two of you, his heart was racing at the proximity of your body to his.

the night ended with you laid on top of him, fast asleep as he was comforted by the beating of your heart against his. your chest against his, his hand in your hair as your head laid in his neck.

he woke up first, to the sight of the gold light making you look heavenly, your hair messy from how he was playing with it throughout the night. your face was almost against his, he could kiss you right now.

but he shouldn't. he would move but he didn't want to couldn't, so he looked you over. you woke up to the feeling of his fingers caressing your face, your eyes half lidded from sleep.

"'suki. g'morning."

his heart was getting used to irregularly pounding around you at this point. "[name], uh-- hi."

after a couple moments, you got off of him, much to his discontent. his hands sliding down your legs as you got up.

"i'll be going now, i gotta pack and stuff." you said, looking in one of the many mirrors scattered around as you fixed your appearance as much as you could.

he nodded. "let me walk you home at least."

and he did walk you home, hand in hand.

those two nights he spent pondering over you. he didn't know why, but hero work felt much lighter after talking it out with you. becoming your friend was one of the best things he'd achieved in years, and that was including his recent rankings.

he thought back to how he treated you as a kid, had he really just been searching for your validation all along?

is that why it hurt when you told him he'd never amount to his dreams, because he only valued your opinion?

he let himself sleep, he'd see you tomorrow. and he'd make it all right.

he woke up and picked you up at your place, his expensive sports car standing out against the comfort of the neighborhood. you walked out, dressed simply but cute, a bag of your own in hand.

he grabbed it from you and placed it in the back, opening the passenger door for you as he drove to the airport. his hand on your thigh as he did so, letting you play the music you'd like with loud bass.

it was a half hour ride in comfortable silence, he gazed at you occasionally, a thoughtful expression on your face.

on the plane, you sat by the window. it was first class so you'd get to sleep in a physical bed, in a closed room. you were treated to whatever food and drinks you wanted, hugging katsuki when you found out you where you were heading.

the flight was a long eighteen hours, but it was spent hanging out with katsuki. on his lap asking him questions about the shows you two had watched, power scaling arguments about past heroes, fights he'd recently been in.

also what you two planned to do as you were there, you wanted to go to the beaches and mountains, he just wanted to follow you.

you fell asleep together again, your face laid directly in his chest as he held you.

you woke up to katsuki tapping you on the shoulder. as you raised the volume on your aids, you heard the beeping on the intercoms that meant you'd have to go back to your seats for the landing, groggily being helped up by katsuki as he moved you to to your seats.

you sat by the windows, looking at the tropical region as you two landed, your hand still in his. the moments after we're a blur, before you knew it you were in a car being buckled up by katsuki as you were being driven to your hotel.

what you didn't know was that it was a villa, built on top of the waters of the ocean, your very own private beach right outside your doors with the mountains you'd dreamt of treking right behind you.

you'd never been so happy.

the days you'd spent started and ended all the same, you waking up and going to sleep in katsuki's arms. pretending like you didn't notice how your bed hair got worsened after he played with it all night.

the first days you'd spent at the beach, attempting and failing at surfing. your jet lag was killed off by your utter excitement.

you being thankful your aids were water resistant because of how much you loved the waters of the river and the seas.

you'd had a sandcastle competition, sunbathed, and soaked off in the hot tub of your villa together.

the trek's were fun too, katsuki was annoyingly good at everything so you'd have to fight to keep up.

your polaroid in hand as you snapped candid shots of him, turning it to yourself as you got a selfie of you two with the gorgeous rivers as background.

you jumped into those too, making katsuki freak out as you dived in to the deep waters.

you even got to the top one day, jokingly saying that you should've brought a flag to the top to celebrate. the golden hours of the sunset making you glimmer.

a moment of silence passed over you as he slowly approached you, wordlessly asking for permission as you once again put your hands in his.

you leaned in first, kissing him with the sun as witness.

"i really like you [name]." he sighed and spoke after you pulled away.

"i like you too." you replied, hugging him tightly.

the rest of your trip was filled with your firsts with katsuki.

your first official date was in the burrows of the forest, a picnic where you two painted portraits of eachother. albeit, unique portraits... but painting nonetheless.

your first moment truly loving someone, the feeling you recognized as you laid him in your lap for the first time.

your first talk about what happened all those years ago. a deep one.

"[name], before we become something um.. official. we need to talk about how i hurt you." katsuki said one day, laying faced to you but taking your hands into his.

"kats--"

"let me speak. please." after you nodded, he took a breath and began.

"i was egotistical and really insecure all those years. you were the only one who really read me, that's why i think i got so upset.

i didn't mean to hurt you, i never wanted to hurt anyone i swear-- i just hated that you were right.

that weighed over me all these years, the fact that my hero work meant nothing if i was doing it while acting so.. unheroic.

i never fully felt like a hero, not until i met you again.

not until you graced me with your friendship, your undeserved affection towards me. i just-- i really care about you. and im really sorry, ill spend the rest of my life apologizing to you, and you don't have to accept it because i don't deserve it.

i guess what i'm trying to say is..

sorry, and.. i love you [name].

you don't have to--"

he was cut off by a kiss on his lips.

it felt different somehow, he couldn't place it. almost sad in a way as you pulled back.

"i don't think you were trying to hurt me. but, you did.

and you're working to change it, i appreciate that.

i really care for you too katsuki."

the rest of your trip was comfortingly domestic, learning things about each other you'd never know.

your last week was bittersweet, having to leave your jointed paradise was a reality that saddened the both of you. but your dream was fulfilled, and so was his.

seeing that he was the cause of your smiles and not your horror, making you happy was the light of his day. no, his life.

he thinks he was born to make you happy.

the flight back was a blur, you spent it clinging to him. you started to gift him your own things over the hours, a scrunchie of yours, a bracelet for him to keep.

a locket with a photo of you two, and the polaroid you'd taken on the mountains.

"why are you giving this all to me? not that i'm complaining."

"well, you'll get more use out of it. that's all."

he scrunched his face up in confusion, but with a smile you waved off his concerns.

he wished he pushed you more.

he wished that you'd forgive him for failing you once again, as he fought to take the razor blade out of your grip, slicing your hand in the process.

you were in your bathtub, surrounded by water yet fully clothed, tears and wails wracking your body as you just wanted it to be over.

you finally relented, your blood staining his clothes and the water as he picked you up. you couldn't hear him, you'd taken out your aid.

but you could feel his sobs, his tears hitting you as you shut your eyes, embarrassed of what you'd just done.

you were rushed to the hospital and given stitches, you were to be closely watched from your mom now on, you were told by an interpreter.

katsuki's eyes were red, matching his pupils as he looked at you.

he was frustrated, you could see it in the trembling of his fists and the scowl in his mouth. if he hadn't been there.. you would be dead.

why, he asked you. and to be honest, you really couldn't explain it yourself.

when you got home to your apartment, empty and reminding of your reality away from katsuki, you just felt so..

scared. what would happen when he finally got the validation he needed and left you? your whole life was quiet and tranquil, you'd gotten used to it. but he flipped it upside down again, showed you what your life really could be.

it was too much for you. you had to escape, so after sitting on it, tapping your leg anxiously as you pondered your decision, you went on your phone.

you went online and saw his life outside of you, how he had everything going for him yet what did you really have? a mom and a job at her company?

you grew impulsive, grabbing it absentmindedly and filling up the tub with the water you grown to love over the past month.

after you started bleeding, you panicked. what had you just done? but it was too late..

until he saved you from yourself.

you were zoning out. when you didn't answer him, he repeated himself, grabbing the interpreter so you could sign.

but still you said nothing, except a small sorry.

he left afterwards, leaving you alone in the bed to think.

you were back in your childhood room now, your mom having sobbed as she looked over your hands, as she asked you, "what the hell were you thinking?"

you looked at those glow in the dark stars and tried to find an answer, but there was none.

you held yourself to sleep for the first time in months, already missing him deeply.

little did you know, he was thinking about you too.

the next morning you awoke to a knock on your bedroom door. assuming it was your mom, you got up and opened it.

it was katsuki instead, holding a bouquet of flowers and the locket you'd given him.

"can i come in?"

you opened the door wider, leading him to sit on your bed.

"katsuki i--"

"[name]. i don't know why you did what you did.. but i know it probably has something to do with me. so what did i do wrong?" he looked defeated, as if he thought it was his fault you tried to end your life.

"no! no that wasn't it at all. well, it was about you but not like that.

it's just.. i've been alone. for so long? having you around felt.. too good to be true. i didn't want to go back to how i was before. in a way, you were too good for me."

"you're.. an idiot. but i guess i understand."

"i just.. i really love how you treat me. i didn't want it to go away."

a moment of silence passes, a small anxious laugh leaving katsuki's lips.

"fuck, i thought you hated me. could barely sleep without you."

he pulled you into him, staring deeply into your eyes as he pulled you impossibly closer. he kissed you deeply. his worries, passions, and frustrations all poured out into it.

he pulled away, eyes half lidded as he asked gruffly.

"wanna take this back to my place?"

he took your last first away, gentle and loving as he guided you through it. reassuring you that he'd never leave you.

you moved in with him soon after, finding it hard to sleep without eachother, no matter how late he got back to your shared home.

he'd be welcomed back by the sight of you, who always tried and failed to stay up waiting for him. he'd pick you up, like always, and hug you to sleep.

he'd know he woke you up by the feeling of your smile in his chest, the way you tightened you arms around him.

he loved spending every waking moment he could with you. you were right though, he did break up with you after he got your validation.

...

but that's just an odd way to say he proposed to you, vowing to spend the rest of his life making you happy and fufiling your wishes one by one.

he changed not only himself, but the way you see yourself. he changed your relationships with yourselves and eachother for the better,

and as you walked down the aisle, your wedding planned by your two designer parents, being lavish and gorgeous. the silk on the floor being runway to your expensive shoes specially designed for you, the guests in awe of how gorgeous you are.

you both knew, you'd better eachother for better or for worse, for as long as you'd be together.

he signed 'i do', sealing the rest of your lives together,

with a kiss.

[remma-demma]

My lab partners in physics are literally useless I feel insane. I asked if either of them wanted to stay after class to work on it so I didn’t have to do it all myself and one said she just got a puppy the day before (fine, if that’s true I guess) and the other said … “suuure” and then kept going out of the classroom to call someone and he left halfway through class in a rush. I 100% believe he called his mom and was like “you gotta pick me up NOW”

[ljones41]

"LOST" Retrospect: "Who Ordered the Dharma Initiative Purge?"

Years ago, I had a written an article that speculated on which character from the ABC series, "LOST", was responsible for an incident called "the Dharma Purge". After a few re-watches of the series, I wrote this revision of the ARTICLE.

"LOST" RETROSPECTIVE: "WHO ORDERED THE DHARMA INITIATIVE PURGE?"

Seven years ago, I had written this article about a major incident on the ABC television series, "LOST". This incident happened to focus on the murders or "Purge" of the scientific research organization known as the Dharma Initiative. It happened on December 19, 1992; nearly twelve years before the series began and before the crash of Oceanic Airlines 815 flight.

In the Season Five episode, (5.10) "He's Our You", Oceanic Flight 815 survivor and later, time traveler Sayid Jarrah tried to murder young Ben Linus in 1977. In the following episode, another Oceanic time traveler, Dr. Jack Shephard, refused to treat the badly wounded Ben, who was near death. Eventually, two other time traveling castaways, James "Sawyer" Ford and Kate Austen, had taken Ben to the Others aka the Hostiles aka the Natives, a group of island inhabitants who served as its protectors on the behalf of the main protector Jacob, for treatment via Dr. Juliet Burke's instructions. Within a decade-and-a-half, Ben ended up ousting future billionaire Charles Widmore as leader of the Others.

Ever since the series had first aired, many fans had been uncertain of when Ben's tenure as the Others' leader had began - before or after the Purge. As I had stated earlier, the Purge occurred in December 1992, on the same day as Ben's birthday and during the same month as the Others' rejection of Widmore as their leader. Many fans and television critics had automatically assumed Ben had ordered the Purge. I have heard comments that compared Ben to Adolf Hitler. I have also heard comments that compared Ben’s younger self to a "young Hitler". Many people have claimed that it was Ben who had ordered the deaths of the Dharma Initiative members. However, I have my doubts.

During Seasons Three and Four, Ben had offered contradicting comments on whether or not he had ordered the Dharma Initiative Purge. In (3.23) "Through the Looking Glass", he had claimed responsibility of the Purge to Jack:

"Not so long ago, Jack. I made a decision that took the lives of over forty people in a single day"

Unfortunately, Ben had contradicted this claim in two other episodes. In the Season Three episode, (3.20) "The Man Behind the Curtain", he had said this to Oceanic survivor John Locke, while he displayed the remains of Dharma members at a mass grave:

"This is where I came from, John. These are my people. The Dharma Initiative. They came here seeking harmony, but they couldn't even co-exist with the Island's original inhabitants. And when it became clear that one side had to go, one side had to be purged, I did what I had to do. I was one of the people that was smart enough to make sure that I didn't end up in that ditch. Which makes me considerably smarter than you, John."

Ben never claimed responsibility for ordering the Purge to Locke. He had confessed to participating in the Purge. That same episode made it clear that his participation involved killing his abusive father, Dharma Initiative worker, Roger Linus. In fact, Ben also made the same thing clear in the Season Four episode, (4.11) "Cabin Fever", when he had the following conversation with another Oceanic castaway, Hugo "Hurley" Reyes:

HURLEY: So... This is where you shot Locke and left him for dead, huh? BEN: Yes, Hugo, I was standing right where you are now when I pulled the trigger. Should have realized at the time that it was pointless, but... I really wasn't thinking clearly. [Hurley steps back a little] HURLEY: Is that why you killed all these people, too? BEN: I didn't kill them. HURLEY: Well, if the Others didn't wipe out the Dharma Initiative -- BEN: They did wipe them out, Hugo, but it wasn't my decision. HURLEY: Then whose was it? BEN: Their leader's. HURLEY: But I thought you were their leader. BEN: Not always.

Interesting. He had admitted to trying to kill Locke in "The Man Behind the Curtain". But he denied being the one who had ordered the Purge. Also, Ben had been truthful when he told Hurley that he had not always been the Others' leader. The series had featured three other leaders - the ageless Richard Alpert (who eventually became the future leaders' advisor), Eloise Hawking and Widmore. Although some fans remain convinced that Ben had ordered the Purge, there are a good number of fans who hold Widmore responsible.

Thanks to a flashback in the Season Five episode called (5.12) "Dead Is Dead" - viewers learned that Widmore had definitely been the leader of the Others back in 1988. And in another Season Four episode called (4.09) "The Shape of Things to Come", viewers learned in a flash forward scene set in London that Ben had taken the leadership of the Others away from Widmore:

WIDMORE: I know who you are, boy. What you are. I know that everything you have you took from me. So... Once again I ask you: Why are you here? BEN: I'm here, Charles, to tell you that I'm going to kill your daughter. Penelope, is it? And once she's gone... once she's dead... then you'll understand how I feel. And you'll wish you hadn't changed the rules. [Widmore shifts in his bed.] WIDMORE: You'll never find her. [Ben turns to leave.] WIDMORE: That island's mine, Benjamin. It always was. It will be again.

I found it interesting that Widmore had regarded the island as "his". And there were other aspects of Widmore that I found interesting. The Season Five episode, (5.03) "Jughead", had revealed Widmore as a member of the Others, as far back as 1954 (when he was seventeen years-old). As one of the Others, Widmore (along with Richard and Hawking) had participated in a previous purge - that of U.S. Army personnel, who had brought a hydrogen bomb nicknamed "Jughead" with them to the island. On other occasions, Widmore had this inclination to kill anyone he deemed a threat to the island's secrecy. He killed a fellow Other to prevent the latter from leading Locke, Sawyer and Juliet to Richard's location in 1954. The 1988 flashback from "Dead Is Dead" revealed Ben's refusal to kill Danielle Rousseau and her baby, Alex. Instead, he claimed Alex as his child and threatened Danielle to stay away. This decision had angered Widmore, who had expected Ben to kill both. Why were Danielle and Alex's deaths that important to Widmore? Ironically, Widmore finally got his way regarding Danielle and Alex, thanks to Martin Keamy, the mercenary he had sent to the island to snatch Ben in Season Four.

So, when did Ben Linus replace Charles Widmore as leader of the Others? Before December 19, 1992? Or after? The photograph below from "The Man Behind the Curtain" hints that Ben had remained a worker for the DHARMA Initiative during that period, despite joining the Others sometime in the 1980s:

But had Ben assumed leadership of the Others by then? If not, does that mean Charles Widmore was still leading the Others in December 1992? Both the LOSTPEDIA and the WIKIPEDIA sites claimed that Richard Alpert had led the Others' purge against the Dharma Initiative in 1992. But neither site made it clear who had ordered the Purge. And "Dead Is Dead" never gave a clear date on Widmore's exile.

One would assume my choice for the man responsible for ordering the Purge would be Widmore. And you would be right. There seemed a good deal of evidence making him responsible. He had already participated in an earlier purge back in 1954. Ben had revealed time and again his willingness to use violence - even kill those he deemed a threat to himself or for emotional reasons. But the series had also revealed Widmore's willingness to do the same and especially kill in the name of protecting the island. And that included ordering Ben to kill an emotionally unstable Danielle Rousseau and her infant child. Widmore had also sent the murderous Martin Keamy to the island in late Season Three-Season Four to snatch Ben. He had claimed to Locke in (5.07) "The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham" that he had done so to give Locke the opportunity to become the Others' new leader. Yet, his words to Locke contradicted his words to Ben in London, when he had claimed the island as "his". This scene had occurred nearly a year or more after the events of Season Four.

There is also the matter of whether Keamy had another agenda - namely to kill any of the Oceanic survivors that remained. In "Cabin Fever" he had demanded Sayid reveal the number of other Oceanic survivors and their location. Fortunately, the latter had refused. In a confrontation with the freighter's Captain Gault, Keamy revealed his intentions to "torch" the island. Some claimed that this had been Keamy's angry reaction to his men being attacked by the Smoke Monster. Yet, in (4.08) "Meet Kevin Johnson", Ben had accused the freighter crew of plans to snatch him and kill the island's inhabitants. The only freighter personnel in the room - spiritualist Miles Straume - had remained unusually silent. In the following episode, (4.09) "The Shape of Things to Come", Miles claimed that Keamy and his men were around to serve as security guards for a captured Ben. But there was the revelation that Widmore had set up a false location for the missing Oceanic 815 plane - with a plane wreck and dead bodies included. This is merely an assumption of mine, but I believe Widmore had sent Keamy to not only snatch Ben, but kill the remaining Oceanic survivors as well to maintain the narrative. I found a good deal of clues that led me to suspect Widmore had ordered the Dharma Purge.

After watching the series more than once, I find it increasingly difficult to hold Ben responsible for the Purge. His actions against the Oceanic castaways had featured spying, kidnapping, harassment, threats and manipulation. He rarely resorted to murder - aside from his attempt to kill Locke and his order to kill Sayid, Jin Kwon and Bernard Nader during the events in the Season Three finale, (3.23) "Through the Looking Glass, Part 2". If Ben was truly capable of ordering the Purge, he would have wiped out (or tried) the Oceanic survivors after getting Jack to remove the tumor from his spine. The man had proved incapable of following Widmore's orders to kill Danielle and Alex.

In the end, viewers know that Charles Widmore had been the leader of the Others in 1988-89, when he had ordered Ben Linus to kill Danielle Rosseau and her infant daughter. Viewers know that Ben had refused. Viewers also know that Richard Alpert had led a group of Others in the Purge against the U.S. Army in 1954. He also led the Others' purge against the Dharma Initiative on December 19, 1992. On that same date, Ben killed his father, Roger Linus, in a similar manner – by toxic gas. And viewers know that Ben had eventually replaced Widmore and exiled the latter off the island. Personally, I suspect Widmore had ordered the Purge against Dharma. But I suspect it was an order he had not issued lightly, given the number of years the Others had been in conflict with the Dharma Initiative.

But I cannot say with any authority that Widmore had ordered the Dharma Initiative Purge. If we only knew exactly when Widmore had been exiled, perhaps this mystery of the Purge will finally be cleared.

[stuckybingo]

It is time to Resurrect Stucky!

Reclists Part 5

Back in December, the call was put out for fans to create a Stucky Renaissance on Tumblr. We at Stucky Bingo are all about our two favorite centenarians and participants for this event helped to create a series of reclists for all of our fellow Stucky enthusiasts to enjoy.

This reclist is dedicated to Multi-Chaptered Fanfics and Series. Those long reads you save for the long flights and spend all night reading while telling yourself "just one more chapter" all while keeping it safe to read at work.

James Barnes: The Underworld's Best Friend by PerplexinglyParadoxialPerson, WinterSabbath (Teen, 31k) “I get called in every time these things happen.” James motioned to the room. “Then I offer my expertise.” Steve blinked. “Do these things happen often or something?” “Well, not to this magnitude, no.” At the blank look the team gave him, James shrugged. “Usually it’s a vampire forgetting they can’t prey on humans anymore. Or a banshee causing trouble in California. The occasional fairy goes on a chocolate-stealing spree and it’s my job to give them a stern talking to. That kinda stuff.” “Excuse me?” Tony held up a hand. “What the fuck?” In which Steve meets James Barnes—SHIELD’s consultant for all things supernatural—and discovers that there is a much bigger world waiting to be explored, and the man who introduces him to this world is a lot more charming than Steve expected.

Without You Here, We Are A Worse Version Of Who We’ve Been by endlesstwanted, Estelior (Teen, 10.9k) Bucky has to plan how to do his physical therapy when, by chance, he finds therapist and gym owner Steve’s videos on YouTube. Located two blocks away and encouraged by his roommate, Bucky goes and meets Steve, gets the help he didn’t know he needed, and a couple of things more in the way.

if I'm going to get back to you someday by napricot (Teen, 46k) “What’s the plural for a group of Steves?” asks Natasha, and it’s weirdly comforting that the question has a hint of whimsical hysteria to it. Good, Bucky’s not the only one who’s not dealing well with all of this. “A clusterfuck,” he says. “A clusterfuck of Steves.” Despite how little sense his life has made since he got on a battlefield to fight a bunch of aliens, Bucky's pretty sure he knows exactly what's happened when a much older Steve appears after the mission to return the Infinity Stones: he left Bucky behind to get his much deserved happily ever after in the past. Only then another Steve shows up, and another. And Bucky realizes he still hasn't got any idea what's going on.What he does have is a whole lot of Steves, a fraught relationship with his own Steve, and tentative plans to leave. But the more Bucky talks to all these different versions of Steve, the more he begins to wonder if leaving really is what's best for him and his Steve, or if there's a way to make something new out of their long friendship.

Forgive Me If You Remember by Judeyjude (Teen, 53k, Warnings: Canonical Character Death, The Deaths Are Temporary) When they finally tumbled into bed, Bucky straddled Steve and said, “Just because we danced, doesn’t mean you can die.” Steve pulled Bucky down and kissed him slowly. “Never,” he whispered in Bucky’s ear. Part 1: In which Bucky yells at a National Icon, grieves the aftermath of the world losing half its population, and somehow falls in love along the way. Part 2: When time rewinds five years, everything Bucky had ever wanted suddenly becomes true—to have his family back. The price paid? Worldwide memory loss.

No Such Men Return by glasscaskets (Teen, 52k, Warnings: Period Typical Attitudes, Non-Consentual Body Modification, Body Horror, PTSD, Implied Torture) When he is thirteen, Bucky Barnes decides he has to learn to fight to protect the people he loves. This singular mission never really stops. OR: Filling in the gaps of three Captain America movies and the life and times of James Buchanan Barnes and the first and best thing he ever loved: Steve Rogers.

take my hand (take my whole life too) by SgtGraves, spinawren (Teen, 36k) HYDRA may have been revealed and taken down in the span of a few hours, but the repercussions are far more extensive. Steve Rogers, now ex-SHIELD agent, expects to be feeling them in his life for years. What he didn't expect was for them to reach into him and change the most fundamental thing he thought he knew about himself - that he doesn't have a soulmate.

Stop Trolling Me! by GoodbyeBlues (Teen, 21k) When the dust had settled and James was collecting his $10 winnings to the congratulations of the other Bingo patrons, Steve not included, Steve vowed that next week he would not be pulled into the sexy vortex of this Bingo playing bad boy. If Steve never saw James, darling of the Bingo hall, Russian sex God, and ruthless troll collector again, he would be fine. Just fine. ... A.K.A Oblivious Steve is very bad at having an arch-enemy. (Particularly because he confuses 'dating' with 'acts of war.')

Faith, Trust, and Pixie Venom by ReformedTsundere (Teen, 19k) Steve Rogers has a secret. By day, he's a scrawny illustrator with bad lungs who can barely get up the rickety stairs to his apartment. By night, he's known as Captain, a mage of extraordinary power and a fighter for justice.

Beyond the Yellow Book Road by crinklefries (Teen, 30k) Before he was Captain America, he was Steve Rogers, knobby kneed and wild-eyed, with scrapes on his knuckles and a book in his hands. In 1942, he leaves for war and eventually crashes the Valkyrie. That's only the beginning of his story. In 2011, Steve's body is dragged from ice off the coast of Greenland. In 2015, he meets a bookstore clerk. This is what happens when a superhero loses his way home and the only way back is through the Yellow Book Road.

This Feeling We Carry In Our Souls by jinlinli (Teen, 26k, Warnings: Panic Attacks) Bucky hasn’t seen his own soul mark in seven years, not since a doctor sawed off his left arm to save his life. So it’s a little bit of a shock when he walks into Stark Tower and sees at least a dozen people with his soul mark proudly emblazoned on their skin. And that’s how Bucky finds out he’s soulmates with Captain fucking America.

Infinite Coffee and Protection Detail by owlet (Teen, Series, 264k, Warnings: PTSD, Panic Attacks, Dissociation) The mission resets abruptly, from objective: kill to objective: protect

Workplace Hazards by AggressiveWhenStartled (Teen, Series, 33k) Today, Peter was honest-to-god going to see Captain America himself up close, in person, and not from a rooftop or tiny crevice like a creepy stalker fanboy. Even better, he was going to watch Steve Rogers make history by soldiering his beleaguered way through the most intensely awkward and honestly ridiculous press conference in the history of ever-- jaw thrust out and spine ramrod straight. Trying hard to be polite and respectful in the face of adversity. While a bunch of assholes with cameras and microphones shouted at him about Iron Man’s adolescent dick.

[falseclosure]

let the games begin - part 1 (fem!oc x fem!oc)

part 1/?

summary: the one where they fall in love (kinda) in one of the biggest stage of their lives.

pairing: fem!oc (auswnt) x fem!oc (usa swimming)

warnings: none

word count: 2.8k

a/n: hello! it's my first story here! this has honestly been sitting in my drafts for a year. i'm back in my swimming phase so it has sparked some inspiration hopefully someone will like this. not proofread btw! also, there's a hint of kellex in there somewhere :)

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July 19, 2021

Kaiden (kay-den)

We just arrived in Tokyo after our Pre Olympics training camp in Nara. Even though I slept the entire time we were traveling, I'm still exhausted, so it's a good thing our coaches offered us a day off tomorrow. I'm ecstatic to be participating in the Olympics. I'm not sure if I'll start any games, but I'm happy to be a substitute when my team needs me. My seniors are incredible; they have supported me when I was first called up to the senior team. This Olympics, all I care about is gaining experience with my teammates.

“Hey Kai, let’s go explore the village with the others!” my ‘mom’, Chloe Logarzo, said touching my shoulder to divert my focus away from stowing my belongings

“But I still have a lot of things to put away and besides I’m really tired. Do I really have to go with you guys?” I answered her while pouting and scrunching my eyebrows together.

“You’re cute, almost gave in. But you know we’re leaving the village after a few days because we’re gonna transfer to another venue for the final group game right? Don’t take everything out of your bags, you're the only one that’s gonna have a hard time.” 

“Okay, I guess my signature pout did not work.” I said with a shrug of my shoulders. I straightened my face and nodded, indicating that I would be joining them.

Chloe tugged me towards the lift entrance with her right arm across my shoulders. We went downstairs and waited outside our apartment for our other teammates so that we could explore the village together.

“Hey bitches!” Sam Kerr yelled at us while obnoxiously flailing both of her hands. Steph Catley tried to put Sam's hand down because a number of people were looking at her; while Emily Van Egmond slapped her mouth. Soon after, Ellie Carpenter and Caitlin Foord trailed behind the three of them.

“Where are the others?” Chloe asked the five of them after observing that no one was following them anymore.

“They said they’ll follow behind.” Ellie, who was engrossed in her phone, answered. I went up to Ellie to see what she was up to because the other four women continued bickering as we were walking.

“What’re you doing?” I asked Ellie, leaning in close enough to see her phone screen. 

“On Bumble trying to look for hot Olympic athletes.” Ellie replied in hushed tones, fearful that the older women would hear her. I just chuckled and wrapped my arms around her shoulders.

“Don’t curse in front of the kids!” Ellie and I heard Emily say behind us scolding Sam. 

“You guys know we’re not kids anymore right? I’m like 19 and Ellie’s 21.” I said. 

“But you’re still our baby!” Steph stated, and I just rolled my eyes as she said it. I'm not sure if I enjoy it or not that they continue to treat me like a child. It can work in my favor sometimes because they do what I want, but when I want to do 'adult things,' they always become protective for some reason.

"Yeah, right. Please, let's go eat first; I'm starving. I think the last meal I ate was breakfast." I remarked, dragging Ellie after me as I hurriedly proceeded towards the dining hall, oblivious to the group of athletes from various countries who were walking around us.

"Do you know how to get to the dining hall?" Ellie inquired from beside me, her right hand now held in my left. 

I looked back at her while still walking and said, “I’m sure it’s this- ow!” I crashed on someone's back and came to a halt; Ellie almost collided with me since I was dragging her.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going," I apologized to the girl. 

“It’s alright. I also wasn’t aware of my surroundings.” she replied with a smile. She caught a sight of my hands intertwined with Ellie's, which I noticed. She looked up and smiled at Ellie and Ellie returned one back.

“Uhm, do you possibly know the way to the dining hall?” I awkwardly asked her since I think she was also on her way there. 

“Yeah! I'm on my way there. Do you want to walk with me?" she asked me and Ellie. I turned around to check whether Chloe and the others were following us, but I was dismayed to see that they weren't. I returned my gaze to Ellie, who was watching the person I had collided with. I tugged on her hand to see whether she agreed to go with the stranger. Ellie gave me a little nod and let go of my hand.

“Sure! I can’t see our teammates behind us and we don’t want to get lost. We should just meet them there." I replied, gazing down at her a little because I was a few inches taller. We began going in the direction of the dining hall, with her leading the way. Ellie was standing right alongside me, observing the woman in front of us.

"What sport do you guys play?" she inquired, her gaze returning to us as she listened to my response.

"Footy for Team Australia." I said, peering into her light brown eyes.

Before responding, she returned her gaze ahead of her. “Oh! So you're on the same team as Sam Kerr?" I was taken aback when I heard that, but not for long because I knew our skipper is a well-known football player all over the world. Nonetheless, I asked how she knew Sammy.

“Yeah, how’d you know her?” She looked me in the eyes once more before responding,

"My cousin’s also a football player. I know Sam since I've watched a couple of games." I nodded and didn't press the issue any further because I realized we were getting close to the hall.

"This is it," she said as we approached the doors. "Are you guys waiting for your teammates to arrive before you come inside? I think mine are already here.” She questioned and informed me at the same time.

"We should, but I still don't know your name or what event you're participating in. I'd like to support you." I told her with a smile.

She smiled brightly at me. "My name is Raegan, I swim for Team USA." she said, shaking my hand. 

"Oh, Team USA!" I exclaim. "I’m Kaiden, and this is Ellie." Ellie extended her hand to Raegan to shake. 

"It's great to meet you, Raegan, and thank you for accompanying us to the hall. You'll undoubtedly have a tough time against Team Australia, but I'll be rooting for you." 

"That's cute," she remarked with a playful smirk. "We'll see about that." Before entering the hall she looked back at Ellie and me and said, “It was also nice to meet you guys too!"

“Ells, why were you like gawking at Raegan?” I looked back at Ellie and questioned her after Raegan went into the dining hall.

“Girl I was not gawking at her,” she answered with an eye roll. “She looks familiar. I can’t tell where I saw her before though.” Ellie’s phone rang after she told me why she was looking at Raegan.

“Hey, Cait.” I heard Ellie say, letting me know that it was Caitlin who was calling her.

“Yeah, just in front of the right-side entrance.” I was trying to look for them while Ellie was talking to Caitlin. As I spotted Emily’s short ponytail I raised my hands so they could see us. Chloe spotted us first and ran towards me.

“Why didn't you two wait for us? What would happen if you both got lost? " Chloe questioned us right away. 

"It's fine, Chlo, and we met someone on the way here. She helped us in getting here without getting lost." I tried to hide my smile but failed miserably because Chloe saw and teasingly smiled at me. I looked at her sternly and signaled her to keep her mouth shut.

"Just for now, Chlo?" I pleaded with her. She gave me a nod of her head. I adore Chloe for this reason. She simply understands what I'm thinking and feeling, and she always respects my decisions. She's a little protective of me, but I don't mind. We went inside together after we had all gathered at the entrance to eat.

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Raegan (ray-gan)

Oh my gosh. Did I just meet Kaiden fucking Moore? The Kaiden Alexandre Moore (yes I know her middle name), the girl I've had a crush on for the past year? I believe I did, and I'm currently floating on cloud nine. I'm not sure how I kept my calm as we were talking and heading towards the dining hall together! 

When I walked into the hall, I dialed my best friend and teammate Emma's number, and she answered on the fifth ring. “Oh my gosh! Where are you? I just met-oh my gosh I can’t do this over the phone!” I said when she picked up.

"We're near the Filipino food bar because we figured you'd want to eat Filo food. Who did you meet, though? " Emma calmly said, as I examined the map on the side of the doors to determine where they were.

“I’ll tell you in person, oh my gosh I don’t even know how I managed my cool. Can you stand and wave your hand? I'm on the escalator and I can already see the food bar, but not you guys." As I approached the top of the escalator, I surveyed the hall for Emma, who was standing and waving her hand to attract my attention. I dashed up the remaining stairwells till I reached her.

“You know you could’ve walked right?” I heard Emma exclaim as I approached her. “I-i just met Kai-Kaiden Moore.” I told Emma while catching my breath. I saw her scrunch her eyebrows but smile at me after she realized what I said. Emma drew me down to a chair and demanded that I tell her everything that had happened during our encounter. I told her about how Kaiden had bumped my back and how I tried to hide my surprise when I realized it was my crush who had done it.

After informing Emma what had happened, I took her to the food bar with me so I could get something to eat. “I was about to scream at her when she bumped into me because I was still upset at you for leaving me in our room. But oh my gosh I don’t know what to say. I didn't expect to meet her here.” I told Emma while we waited in line at the food bar.

“I’m sorry about that. I didn't want to wake you up because you were sleeping soundly and I didn't want to dist—wait, don't you follow her on Instagram? " Emma inquired, interrupting her explanation. Gosh, she’s so random sometimes.

"Yeah, I follow her. Why? What's wrong with that?" I replied. "By the way, she was with Ellie when I saw her, and they were holding hands." 

"What's wrong with that? Rae! Are you kidding?!? She'll think you're odd because you pretended you didn't know her. You need to unfollow her or it'll be awkward the next time you see each other." she reasoned, “And Ellie? Ellie who? Carpenter?”

"If we see each other again and yeah, Ellie Carpenter, their hands were like, linked." I remarked, a bit confused and sad. I took my phone from my back pocket, went to Kaiden’s profile but contemplated on unfollowing her or not.

"Well, the odds of you seeing her again are high, you know, considering Kelley's playing against them; aren't you planning to watch that game?" Emma inquired as I surveyed the food bar for possible options. I saw grilled pork and it made my mouth water, but I decided to go with the fried tilapia because I had a race coming up in a few days. Of course, I got some rice with it and a delicious squash soup.

“Yeah, I am. Our teammates are only swimming heats that afternoon and we would be done with our event before the 27th so I decided to come and support my dear cousin. Do you want to come with me?” I answered Emma after I got out of line with my food.

“Are you sure you’re coming for Kelley and not dear Kaiden?” Emma teased, a knowing grin on her face. I pretended not to hear what she said and continued walking towards where our other teammates were. I sat down in front of Katie, the youngest swimmer out of all of us. 

“Hey Katie! How’s your day so far?” I asked her so that I could continue avoiding Emma’s question. I think Katie knew what I was doing because she was holding a laugh in while she gave me her answer.

“Good! So excited to be here! How about you Rae?” She questioned me back. I smiled a bit but that faded when Emma answered for me.

“She met Kaiden!” Emma blurted out. Everyone at our table heard what she said and looked at the both of us. Some of them gave me teasing gazes and smirks. I immediately felt my face heat up. I felt my phone vibrate saving me from this embarrassing moment caused by my best friend. I took my phone out and saw that Kelley was calling me. I excused myself and went out to the outdoor seating area of the food hall to answer Kelley’s call.

“Oh my gosh! Thank you for saving me from that embarrassing moment!” I told Kelley.

“Why what happened? You seem a bit nervous. You’re on speaker by the way. Alex is here” I don’t lie to Kelley, so I was contemplating if I was going to answer her question. But in the end, I took a deep breath before revealing the reason behind the nervousness in my voice.

“I met Kaiden before lunch today.” I kind of whispered to the phone afraid that people would hear what I just revealed to Kelley. On the other side of the phone I can hear Kelley trying not to laugh at how I told her what happened. 

“Babe!” I heard Alex shout at Kelley, a bit of disappointment in her voice.

“Don’t fucking laugh at me Kelley Maureen! That was the most nervous I’ve been and you know how nervous I get before my races.” I rant out to her. I can hear Alex scolding her a little bit on the other end of the line and I can’t help but smile a little bit about their relationship. “Okay, okay, I’ll stop teasing her now.” Kelley replies to Alex. I heard her shuffling around followed by the door being slid shut. “Sorry Rae, just really love to tease you.” 

“I know. I need your opinion, by the way.” I asked her. 

“Go on.” She replied.

“Emma said I should unfollow Kaiden on instagram because she’ll think I’m weird. I acted like I didn’t know who she was when she bumped into me.” I said with a sigh. Looking back at our interaction, I really think I was a bit stupid for acting like I didn’t know her. It’s just that I felt an overwhelming feeling in my heart. You know when people say that they have butterflies in their stomach? I felt that but I felt all those butterflies fluttering their wings around my heart.

“Well, she can just think that you followed her after your interaction earlier. From what I've heard from Sam she’s really not that big into social media she probably won’t care either way.” I groan at her answer. I really feel stupid right now. I don’t really know how to explain how I feel. I’ve had a big freakin’ crush on that girl for the past year. I never thought I would meet her even though the odds are huge with KELLEY O’HARA being my cousin. Am I in a state of gay panic?!?

“Kels I think I’m gay panicking.” I tell her as I feel my heart beat faster. I could feel my breathing pick up a bit and Kelley noticed it too.

“Okay, Rae calm down. Deep breaths for me please I don’t want you to go into a full on panic attack. Inhale, Exhale.” I followed her instructions. “That's it, very good sweetie. Again. Inhale, Exhale.” It took a while but I felt myself calm down a bit. 

“Thanks Kel. You’re the best cousin ever. I might have to end this call now though I still haven’t finished eating my lunch. I’ll see you soon.” I heard Kelley sigh a breath of relief after hearing normalcy in my voice.

“Don’t let Erin and Jerry hear you say that. Love you kid! See you soon!” I laughed and ended the call with a sigh of relief. 

*ping*

[raegan.gvr]: Kaiden Moore (kai.mooreee) started following you.

Oh. I guess it’s too late to unfollow her now.

[beewolfwrites]

The Oar in the Sand - Chapter Twenty-Five: The Third Trial - Ethos

So I'm both excited and nervous to post this. It took me a while to plan this game (and find some oddly specific trivia questions). I can't tell if it's too overly complicated or too simple for a King of Hearts.

You'll have to let me know XD

I do love Izanami though, and her fake crown.

AO3 link is here (I always forget to put these on)

____________________________________________________

The hotel lobby was warm and dimly lit with a sleek marble floor, a lounge, and a reception desk in the centre. Behind the reception was a row of elevators, a plasma television hanging on the wall just above the central elevator. I immediately noted the sheer number of players waiting, some lifting their heads to look at me as I entered. They were gathered around the desk, with some making good use of the lounge. Two were even helping themselves to the drinks behind the lounge bar. I counted twenty-two other players in total. 

I slowly approached the reception desk, where a white sign was propped up. I didn’t need to read it to understand what I needed to do; three collars had been placed beside it, only this time, they were just a simple band with no display screen at the back. 

More collars, hm… 

Taking one, I slid it around my neck, hearing that familiar click as it locked into place. Somehow it didn’t bother me anymore. I no longer felt disgusted by the thought of having it wrapped around my throat. 

I simply didn’t care. 

I chose to sit on a leather armchair by the window, leaning my head against the soft back while we waited for the final two participants to arrive. My eyes shifted between tracing the leftover raindrops from the storm earlier as they slid down the window pane, and checking out the other players. There didn’t seem to be anybody of interest, nor anyone I recognised from the Beach. If anything, the people here seemed pretty ordinary. There was an older man with a tie, a teenage girl who kept chewing her fingernails, a woman in a pinafore dress and a straw hat, and even a couple of silent types skulking in the corners. 

Most of them will be dead soon anyway. 

In the entrance to a stairwell, a couple were engaged in quiet conversation. The man had his arm draped around the woman’s shoulder, and she was cuddling into him, whispering something that made him smile. I scowled. 

It won’t last…

Eventually, a player walked through the door. A young man wearing a green cap. He shifted nervously, regarding everyone with an innocent suspicion. Something about his cap irked me, and I looked away. However, seconds after he slid a collar around his neck, something happened. 

A noise. 

It was coming from the central elevator shaft. 

I sat up, just as the large plasma television screen glowed bright white. Gasps sounded across the room and everyone gathered around the central elevator. I hung back a little, waiting by the desk where the final collar was still lying untouched.

There was a chime, and the elevator doors opened. A slim woman stepped out. She was dressed in jeans and a green t-shirt, with shoulder-length hair. But more notably, there was a plastic gold crown balanced on her head, with faux rubies and sapphires and a white fluffy lining around the base. She silently surveyed the group. Then her face broke into sly grin and she clapped her hands together. 

‘Welcome to the King of Hearts!’ 

At first, nobody spoke. Then somebody snickered, and one or two whispers circulated the crowd. 

A young man spoke up with a sneer. ‘You’re the King?’ 

The woman’s head whipped around, her eyes narrowing on him. ‘I am,’ she said, matter-of-factly. ‘And I suggest you address me as such.’ Ignoring him, she beamed at everyone else. ‘As for the rest of you, you can all call me Izanami. Or God.’ 

I raised a brow. That’s some confidence you’ve got there. 

As if reading my thoughts, Izanami’s gaze locked with mine across the room. She strode forward in the direction of the reception desk where I was standing, parting the crowd with her presence alone. I tensed as she grew closer and closer, stopping right in front of me as she adjusted her plastic crown. My breath stalled, and I couldn’t bring myself to break this staring contest, but then she picked up the last remaining collar and slipped it around her neck. 

The King is playing too? It’s just like the Jack. 

Izanami tilted her head, considering my presence. Then out of the blue, she winked at me. 

What? 

What was that?

She had returned to her place by the elevators before I even had a chance to react. I frowned, baffled. Everything about her confused me, from her plastic crown to her brash attitude. And now that she was facing the crowd once more, Izanami pointed up to the plasma television above the elevators. The screen changed, now displaying the King of Hearts card. 

‘Before we begin,’ she announced, ‘I’ll go through some of the rules.’ 

‘Some?’ A player asked. 

Izanami’s sly grin returned. ‘Yes. Some. I’ll tell you the basic rules of the game. The rest you’ll figure out once you start playing.’ 

The screen changed to the introduction screen, and this time, it was the same female overhead who spoke.  

‘GAME: WATCHTOWER. 

TIME PER ROUND: 5 MINUTES.

TIME LIMIT: NONE.’

‘The rules are simple,’ Izanami cut in. ‘It’s best if I explain them.’ 

I sure hope so… I’m tired of over-complicated games. 

With one hand, she gestured to the crowd before her. ‘There are 25 of us in total. You players will each be sent to a different hotel room. Your rooms will all be next to one another, spread out across three floors. You might share a ceiling, a wall or a floor. Once you go inside, the doors will automatically lock and you’ll find that your room keys won’t work. In each round of the game, you’ll be given a question with five minutes to answer. All you have to do is answer correctly to win points. Simple enough, right? You’ll start off with 25 points. If you get to 50, it’s Game Clear for you alone. However, your room keys won’t unlock the door until all the remaining players receive either a Game Clear or a Game Over.’ 

‘So even if you’re at 50 points,’ asked the woman in the straw hat, ‘you won’t be able to leave?’ 

‘Nope! Once you reach 50 points, you don’t technically have to answer any more questions. But you still won’t be able to unlock your door unless everyone else is either dead, or they too reach 50 points.’ 

‘What if you don’t answer the question?’ Someone else asked. ‘Or if you don’t answer?’ 

Izanami simply pointed at the collar around her own neck. ‘Boom! These babies will explode. It’s Game Over for that player.’ 

It seems straightforward. But this doesn’t explain…

I raised my voice, calling across the room. ‘あなたはどうですか?’ And what about you?

Everyone turned to look at me, but my attention was only on the King. Judging from her knowing expression, Izanami understood exactly what I was referring to. As far as I was aware, every citizen took a role in the game they hosted. Yet she had only explained the rules for us, the players. 

‘I’ll be in the Watchtower,’ she stated. ‘In other words. I’ll be in one of the rooms, watching you all on camera. If I catch you cheating, it’s also Game Over.’  

The nervous looking teenage girl placed a hand on her collar and gulped. I noticed a couple of the others looking around the hotel lobby for cameras. 

‘But bear in mind,’ Izanami added, ‘my cameras will only focus on one person at a time.’

One person at a time… why would she tell us that?

The way she was revealing these rules couldn’t be accidental. She was the King of Hearts for a reason; manipulating information was second nature to someone like her. There was obviously something she wasn’t telling us. Although these were supposedly just some of the rules, they left so many gaps. If every remaining player needed to receive a Game Clear in order to leave the hotel, then what was the point in having an individual scoring system? Why was the rule about cheating even necessary if we were all in separate rooms? Moreover, why would a setup like this be a Hearts game instead of a Clubs one? If there was anybody else here as perplexed as I was, they didn’t show it. 

Izanami eagerly clapped her hands once more. ‘Well then, shall we get started?’

Pulling out a set of keys from her pocket, she walked over to a chest and unlocked the first drawer down. From where I was standing, I couldn’t quite see what was inside, and I had to move a little closer before I realised that it was filled with electronic card keys.  

‘Oh, I almost forgot!’ She exclaimed. ‘Nobody can know where the Watchtower is aside from me. With my cameras, I’ll know exactly which room everybody is in. You’ll each come up here one at a time to select a room key, and then take the elevator up to your room. That way, you can’t see who is in the room next to you, and you won’t be able to figure out which room is the Watchtower.’ 

Nobody moved. Of course, they didn’t want to be the first one. Personally, I didn’t care who went first so long as we didn’t die of old age before somebody chalked up the courage. Surprisingly, it was the man with the green cap who was first to go. And naturally, everyone followed, disappearing one at a time into the elevator, until I was the only one left. 

‘Well,’ Izanami smiled. ‘Last but not least.’ 

I walked over to the drawer and selected the final card key. Room 206. There was nothing special about it. It was just a regular hotel card key. But I knew there must be some programming linking it to the game system. 

‘There’ll be someone up there to help you find your room.’ She was clearly unperturbed by my silence. ‘Off you go!’ 

I entered the elevator and pressed the button for the correct floor. Even as I was hurtling towards my fate, I felt nothing. Whether I lived or died, there was no reason to be scared anymore. 

I wonder if this is how Chishiya always felt…

The thought only worsened the heaviness in my chest, but I didn’t have time to dwell on it, as the doors chimed, opening to reveal a man in a suit. He looked me over, nodded, and gestured down a long hallway with his arm. ‘This way please.’ 

He followed me down the hall and patiently waited until I closed the door to room 206 behind me, before he finally left me alone. It wasn’t a surprise that they would have someone up here too, otherwise players could easily gather together to figure out which room was the Watchroom. 

As the door clicked shut, I tested my card key again. It remained locked, as expected. 

Only one way out now…

The room itself was a typical hotel room with a double bed, two bedside tables, a desk and chair, an open wardrobe, and an ensuite bathroom. However, on the desk were two monitors with a bunch of wires protruding from the back. And hooked up to them was a remote controller with four numbered buttons. 

I scanned the room. Nothing seemed to be out of place. It seemed just like a typical hotel room. But this couldn’t just be a simple point-scoring game. Not for the King of Hearts. 

As soon as I slid into the desk chair, the monitors came alive. One displayed the King of Hearts face card, the other showed the players. In twenty four tiny cubes, I could see each of the players and their rooms through the webcams in their monitors. They stared wide eyed and apprehensive, some looking around at their rooms in search of hidden surprises. In each box, beside the players, was a points counter - each one read 25. 

25 points to start with. 

Wait…

Something about it seemed wrong.  

Why would we need to see the other players in their rooms? And their scores too? 

If the King said that her camera only focused on one person at a time, then there had to be a reason why we needed to see every player at once. No matter how hard I searched the screen, I couldn’t see the King there. She was the only one not being watched. There was something familiar about this setup. It pulled at my memories, but I wasn’t sure why. 

Suddenly, the first screen changed from the King of Hearts card, now displaying two different options, reading: 

‘言語を選択してください

1 - 日本語

2 - English.’ 

I shook my head in disbelief. 

A language selection screen…

It was my first time seeing one in a game before. They couldn’t possibly have known I was going to enter this game. Or maybe there were more tourists stranded here besides myself. However, if there were, they would surely include more language choices than just English and Japanese.

This is so strange…

I selected 2 for English, and it seemed I was the last person to do so, as the female overhead spoke, her voice sounding throughout the hotel. 

‘GAME START.’

A question appeared, with four options underneath. In one corner was a timer counting down from five minutes, and in the other, a points counter read at 25. I took my time considering the question and the answering options. 

‘Round 1: At which hospital did the first heart transplant take place?

1 - The Johns Hopkins Hospital

2 - Groote Schuur Hospital

3 - Kyushu University Hospital

4 - Clinica Universidad de Navarra’

I read the question not once, not twice, but three times. And still, I couldn’t tell if this was a genuine question that we were being asked. It was so niche, so oddly specific… My eyes drifted to the timer in the corner. 

Four minutes and thirty seconds. 

It seemed bizarre to give players such a long period of time to answer. There was something suspicious about its generosity. Sighing, I relaxed back in my chair and considered the answering options. Obviously, I didn’t know such a niche piece of information. But I did know that the first heart transplant took place in South Africa. 

Using my controller, I selected option number 2. And with four minutes to spare, I didn’t really know what else to do with the time. I looked over at the other monitor, realising that the other players were confused, their faces pinched together in a mixture of focus and contained panic. Only one or two seemed confident. 

The timer ticked down to zero, and option 2 glowed green.

So I got it right, I guess?

My points increased to 26. On the monitor, everyone’s points either increased by one, or dropped to 24. It seemed one right answer earned you one point, and vice versa. 

This is kind of a let down for a Hearts game…

The second question now appeared on the first monitor, and yet again, I couldn’t believe what I was reading. 

‘Round 2: What is the least popular colour internationally?

1 - Purple

2 - Orange

3 - Green

4 - Brown’

It was such an inane question, I hated the fact that I had to answer it. Especially since the topic was so subjective. In the end, I took a gamble and chose option 4 - brown. I couldn’t really imagine anyone choosing brown as their favourite colour. However, when the timer reached zero once more, it was revealed that the correct answer was in fact purple. 

Nobody had chosen correctly. And that was where the surprises began. 

Instead of every player losing a point, we all gained one, my score increasing from 26 to 27. 

‘I don’t understand,’ I said. ‘Why would we all gain a point if everyone gets the answer wrong?’  

These rules were impossible to understand. But I pushed the thought away as the third question appeared on the screen. 

‘Round 3: What organ do moths not have?

1 - Heart

2 - Brain

3 - Trachea

4 - Stomach’

I blinked several times, as the timer reset at five minutes. Each question was more ludicrous than the last. And this time, I didn’t have a single idea. I knew that some creatures didn’t have brains; jellyfish had nerve nets. But a moth wasn’t a jellyfish. 

Oh well… 

If getting the answer wrong only meant either losing a measly point or gaining one, it didn’t really matter to me. And so, I selected option three at random - the trachea. As I waited for the timer to tick down to zero, I started to wonder why the King had been so secretive about this Watchtower busine—

In the corner of the monitor, a man’s collar exploded in a gory eruption of blood. His body slumped over onto the desk, out of sight, just as a droplet of blood slid over the camera, half hiding him from view. 

Wow… 

Looking closer, I recognised him immediately.

The couple from earlier…

He must have been caught sharing his answer with his girlfriend. Her image was on the other side of the screen, mouth open and face twisted in a silent scream. The other players watched on, their eyes gaping in fear. I simply frowned, wondering why he’d bothered cheating in the first place. 

But games didn’t offer sympathy. They didn’t pause time to allow for grieving. Five minutes dropped to zero, and this time, it was the fourth option that glowed green - the stomach. My answer was wrong, not that it mattered too much. 

Except it did.

I leaned forward in disbelief, realising that I had been wrong about this game all along. 

Instead of increasing by one, my score lowered from 27 to 24. I had lost three points. And a quick check of the player monitor showed that most of the others had lost three points too. Aside from just one person — the woman in the straw hat. Her score increased by five points. 

‘So if you’re the only one who gets a correct answer,’ I muttered, ‘your score increases by five, and everyone else’s drops by three. Seems unfair.’ 

I was starting to see why it was a Hearts game now. But there was still something missing. Something glaringly obvious that was right in front of me…

Oh. 

‘The watchtower,’ I whispered. ‘The watchtower.’  

All at once, everything clicked. 

From the name of the game to the information we’d been given, the intentionally niche questions and even the excessive length of time we had to answer them. The King had purposely told us exactly what we needed to hear - she had laid the foundations so subtly, it was admirable.

‘I’ll be in one of the rooms, watching you all on camera. If I catch you cheating, it’s also Game Over.’  

The rules specified that it was Game Over if we were caught cheating. Not if we cheated. And five minutes per question? Of course.

‘Your rooms will all be next to one another, spread out across three floors. You might share a ceiling, a wall or a floor.’ 

It was a small detail that Izanami had been so eager to reveal. 

‘Nobody can know where the Watchtower is aside from me. With my cameras, I’ll know exactly which room everybody is in.’

No wonder she wanted it a secret… She could see precisely where everyone’s rooms were in relation to one another, and we had no idea where she was. For all I knew, Izanami could be in the room just above mine, or I could share a wall with her. It made physical communication risky. But communicating via the screens was equally as risky. And with no time limit, not cheating could only leave us stuck here for hours, if not days on end. 

‘And that stupid rule.’

The doors wouldn’t open until every other player had either received a Game Clear or a Game Over. 

You wanted us to cheat this whole time… and not just to boost our scores. 

I looked through the webcam, unsure of whether the King was watching me or not. Perhaps she was, perhaps she wasn’t. I could only assume at all times that she was right behind the lens. 

‘This game,’ I said. ‘It’s a panopticon.’ 

[mariacallous]

Serbia is seeing a growing trend of poverty that disproportionately affects women, particularly single mothers, retirees and those living in rural areas. This ‘feminisation of poverty’ limits their ability to participate actively in civic life and democratic processes.

“What can you do with 23,000 dinars?” asks Emilija* derisively about the 196 euros a month she receives as a welfare recipient.

Sitting on an improvised couch in front of a house constructed of pallets, boards and tarpaulin, the flag of the Roma people hanging above her head adding some colour and vibrancy to the otherwise gloomy exterior of the place she calls home, Emilija, 25, answers her own question with a shrug: “Almost nothing”.

Emilija and her friend Nada*, 31, live in an informal settlement on the outskirts of Belgrade made up of shacks and containers. Emilija has three children; Nada has five.

“We wait a whole month for the money and end up spending it in one day,” Emilija tells BIRN. “For example, when a child asks for a toy, or when we go out with the children, a child is a child and will say, ‘Mom, I want this’. But he can't have it; that's very hard for me.”

Nada finds it difficult to afford food because it’s now very expensive. “Sure, I can find clothes [in bins], but sometimes you have to buy something,” she says.

And if they do manage to buy something, they rarely get anything for themselves. Menstrual pads, a product that is taxed as a luxury item in Serbia, put a huge strain on their budgets, especially for Nada, who has a teenage daughter.

And it is proving almost impossible for them to find a job, they tell BIRN. “This is not an environment where you can leave your children behind. I would like to work, why not? It’s easier for men to find manual work, but as women we have to make a choice, we have a house and children to look after,” says Nada.

Emilija tried to find a job a few times, but it is difficult for women like her given that they will lose their social welfare if they get a job, and none of the jobs on offer last long enough to enable them to stand on their own two feet.

“I worked in the countryside a few years ago. And I worked in the Gallery [a shopping mall in Belgrade] as a cleaner. They paid 750 dinars for three hours [6.40 euros]. I would get 27,000 dinars a month, but they would not pay the whole amount at once. They give you half and keep the other half for themselves so they do not ‘lose’ you,” says Emilija.

Sarita Bradas, a psychologist and sociologist, tells BIRN that Nada and Emilija epitomise what she terms the “feminisation of poverty”, where the poverty rate among women is higher than among men because of gender inequality in all its various guises.

“To get out of poverty, you have to earn an income. To earn an income, you have to be employed. And of course, whether you are poor or not also depends on the amount of income you earn,” says Bradas.

Uneven playing field: the gender dimension

Emilija and Nada are just two of the 89,024 women who receive social assistance in Serbia, out of a total female population of about 3.4 million. According to data provided to BIRN by the Serbian Ministry of Labour, Employment, Veterans and Social Affairs, women make up more than half of all benefit recipients.

A welfare recipient receives a monthly payment of 11,674 dinars, less than 100 euros. Additional benefits are paid for other family members and children, but according to the basis for determining the amount of social assistance, a family of three (mother and two children) would receive about 18,000 dinars (153 euros). That is three times less than the amount needed for the minimum basket of goods in Serbia.

Data from Serbia’s Statistical Office shows that women of all age groups, except for those aged 55 to 64, are at a higher risk of poverty compared to men. And last year’s report from the EU’s Commissioner for Human Rights found that employed women hold lower positions even in the public sector or are less likely to be employed on a fixed-term basis, even when they have higher levels of education. The report also expressed concern about longstanding gender inequality in property rights.

In Serbia, only 25 per cent of women have property registered in their own name. The reason for this is that women are excluded from the order of inheritance in favour of male family members in more than 40 per cent of cases; on the other hand, only 0.5 per cent of men are excluded in favour of a woman. The situation is even worse in rural areas, where more than 80 per cent of women do not hold any property in their own name, while the rest typically have plots of land less than 2 hectares that are not intended for housing.

Sarita Bradas, the psychologist and sociologist, tells BIRN that the gender gap in employment is most pronounced in the group of unqualified and uneducated people. By way of illustration, Emilija has only completed four grades of elementary school, while Nada is currently in the sixth grade of elementary school for adults.

“Among women, 39.4 per cent have no qualifications, compared with 29.1 per cent of men,” she explains.

In terms of education, Bradas says the data shows that uneducated men are more likely to be employed than uneducated women. “63 per cent of men without a degree are employed, compared with only 40 per cent of women. Men are more likely to be employed in jobs that do not require qualifications. They have easier access to the labour market, regardless of their level of education, with these differences decreasing as the level of education increases,” she says.

The gender dimension is also evident in the informal sector. This sector includes the self-employed, undeclared workers, moonlighters and unpaid family workers. “If you look at the structure according to this status, 70 per cent of women are among unpaid family members, while this figure is 25 per cent for men. This means that 75 per cent of men earn an income from informal work, while only 30 per cent of women do,” explains Bradas. “As a result, they have no income and are more at risk of poverty.”

As far as social welfare recipients are concerned, women are rarely able to earn an income because they have to stay home and look after the family. “You should bear in mind that people in developed countries can live on social assistance. But here, a family has less than 20,000 dinars (170 euros). What can you do with 20,000 dinars? Can you buy food, not to mention anything else?” asks Bradas.

For Nada’s five children and Emilija’s three, the chances of escaping this vicious cycle of poverty are slim.

“The probability of attending college is 11 times higher if the parents have a high level of education than if the parents have only completed elementary school. Children from these lowly educated families are poorer, have no money for education, and of course poverty reproduces inequality,” notes Bradas.

“On the other hand, we have the problem that children from marginalised groups and poor families have almost no support for education. In rural areas, children are involved in the work process from a very early age in order to support their families,” she adds.

Man’s work for women

Even where women are employed, the discrimination is all too evident.

Mirjana is 51 years old and works in a factory that manufactures electronic components for the automotive industry. It is a physically demanding job that she describes as “man’s work”, though the factory mainly employs women.

Despite the tough nature of the work, Mirjana tells BIRN the salaries are pitiful. “Those who work on Saturdays and Sundays are paid more. I got 61,000 dinars for the whole month after 13 years, without a single Saturday. But there is also a hot meal, there are also bonuses. The hot meal is 5,000 dinars a month. One bonus is 3,500 dinars; another is 1,500 dinars. If you have Saturday and Sunday, then these bonuses are higher,” she says.

Mirjana puts up with it because she’s a mother, but feels sorry for the younger women who work there. Her daughter also worked there for a while, but left.

The long-term health consequences of working at the factory are serious. “I get injections in my elbows. I was in the hardest part of production, where women work on knots, bend their fingers, break their joints. After eight years, I had no more functioning elbows – my arms were cramped. As we were pulling the cables, I got a hernia. It’s not harmless at all, it’s not easy,” Mirjana says.

She reckons 90 per cent of the older workers are sick or injured. “One colleague suffered a vertebral fracture while pulling the system and now has screws in her neck. She’s still working. We also have colleagues who have had spinal surgery, where cysts and tumours have formed due to the physical exertion, because we all hold our hands up all the time. The women return to the line after operations,” Mirjana complains to BIRN.

There are several factories in Serbia that produce secondary raw materials and components. Most of them have received state subsidies to open their plants here. These companies mainly employ women. In March last year, two female workers died within a short period of time in two of these factories. As the media reported and their families testified, both women had shown symptoms of exhaustion, but were sent back to work even after complaining. No irregularities were found during the inspections.

Lara Koncar, an anthropologist, tells BIRN that the position of women in the labour market is unfavourable compared to men, which keeps them in a state of poverty and subjects them to different types of bullying and abuse in the workplace, including sexual abuse.

“Poverty is not exclusively due to economic relations. It also has to do with relationships between partners, kinship and family, among other things, which is especially important when women are affected by family violence… If you are in a situation where your freedom of movement in the labour market is definitely restricted, you are very likely to stay in that situation because there is no possibility of getting a job elsewhere, and that will keep you in a situation of bullying,” she says.

Koncar says women suffer many types of bullying and abuse in the workplace. There are the hidden forms of bullying, such as the inability to advance in the workplace. “We know what happens to… women who return after maternity leave, that they often return to their own position but that the advancement that was supposed to follow does not happen,” she says.

Nada Padejski, head of the Safe House for Women in Novi Sad, also sees a clear link between violence against women and their financial situation. As she explains to BIRN, this can be viewed from three angles.

“Firstly, economic dependence influences whether you leave the perpetrator or not. Secondly, whether women with a lower economic status in particular are housed in safe accommodation. And thirdly, how violence in general affects the housing and economic situation of victims of domestic violence,” she says.

Padejski says it is not uncommon for women to be unemployed precisely because of the influence of the violent offender. “In the sense that he says: ‘You do not need to work, there are two small children here, why should they go to kindergarten, it’s better to stay at home, I will give you money’. So, she stays at home with the child, they are both housed and looked after. But when violence escalates, it always turns out that the woman is unemployed and doesn’t have the right to say anything,” she says.

Padejski also cites cases where women have had to take out loans to pay off their husbands’ debts or to help them start a business, only to be left with nothing.

Padejski emphasises that domestic violence leads directly to homelessness among women. Without permanent housing offered in Serbia as a social protection service, a woman who has decided to leave a violent relationship often has nowhere to go.

“Most of these women have two or three jobs and have not made the property claim they applied for because the process has either taken too long or has not yet been completed, or they have not even started it,” she says.

Property law proceedings are also lengthy, complicated and disadvantage women. “The courts do not take into account the fact that there has been domestic violence when deciding on property law proceedings. No woman ever receives everything she has invested. The abuser usually does not pay maintenance. If she files a lawsuit, it takes too long, or it’s not paid properly, or her lawsuit is dismissed,” she explains.

Looking at the example of Novi Sad, Serbia’s second-largest city, the data shows that women rarely initiate property division proceedings – and even when they do, the courts are unlikely to rule in their favour. From 2019 to 2022, there were 2,551 divorces in Novi Sad, yet during the same period, women initiated only 17 property division proceedings, with judges ruling in favour of women in only six cases. By contrast, during the same four-year period, as many as 367 proceedings were initiated due to non-payment of child support.

Feelings of powerlessness

“Powerlessness,” Padejski concludes, “contributes to the reproduction of powerlessness.”

Mirjana, the factory worker, wonders how she can convince her children that Serbia is a good place to live, when no one, not even the mayor or state officials, speak out when workers, especially women, are clearly being exploited.

At the same time, there is a public pressure on those who are being exploited to participate in the democratic processes of the state, by staying informed and voting for change.

Bradas, the psychologist and sociologist, says that demanding the poor and marginalised bring about political change is deeply unfair. “What I resent about the so-called elites is that they blame the poor for selling their votes and warn that it is a crime. Poverty is a violation of human rights – that is the basic thing,” she says. “If you are focused on surviving and looking for any way to do that, you do hard jobs, you work in harsh conditions, for low wages to survive, and you cannot think that your vote is important. Your life is not important in this society, so who cares about that vote?”

In his first speech as prime minister earlier this year, Milos Vucevic of the Serbian Progressive Party (SNS) devoted a large part of his speech to women – but not as equal members of society, rather as “sanctities for every patriot”.

“A woman must always be shown due respect, because she is a symbol of renewal, birth and victory. A woman brings new life into the world, and that makes her a being who is actually most like God,” Vucevic said.

Although he vowed that “women in Serbia will have the same rights and the same starting positions as men”, he emphasised the government is not interested in trying to creating a society of “equal incomes”.

“This is not and will not be a government that will promote the ideas of self-managed socialism,” Vucevic stressed.

Serbian President Aleksandar Vucic has also spoken several times about the importance of women for the state and for SNS, estimating – without providing evidence – that more than two-thirds of the women who voted in the last elections supported SNS.

How much support women have received in return is open to debate. Between 2021 and 2023, for example, Serbia fell from 19th to 38th place on the Global Gender Gap Index.

When it comes to asking for their support, however, women interviewed by BIRN say the authorities don’t hesitate. Emilija and Nada say that “people from the ‘city’” come to their settlement before every election to warn them that if they don’t vote, they will be fined.

Asked if they receive any gifts or offers of assistance when asked to vote, they both reply: “Not this year.”

“But we did get them in the past, honestly, they even gave us as much as 3,500 dinars,” Emilija tells BIRN. “They give us a pen, we sign with that pen, return it, and then if you return the pen, you get the money.”

Nada says they both voted this year too, voluntarily, even though they didn’t receive anything in return. “We voted. Who else are we going to vote for and how? Vucic will win for sure. We have our own problems on our doorstep, we don’t have to worry about him too. Authority is authority.”

*Names have been changed

[zarvasace]

hiii if you’re still taking requests! anything tying the boys (tm) to totk would be so on topic and i’d love to see it!!

...so I participated in a writing torch relay today, and had a silly idea for this. I had the torch for 2 hours straight, though, and just... kept writing... So this is rather unorganized.

I don't think any context is really all that necessary, it's just part of the beginning of TotK but with the FS boys and Shadow instead, with a focus on established Vidow. The only spoilers for TotK are all drawn from just after you get down to Lookout Landing.

Anyway! almost 2000 words! hope you like it despite it being weird! if you like, you can pretend that it ends after the first break!

---

Gloom smells weird. Shadow wrinkles his nose as he peeks into the chasm beneath Hyrule Castle, balancing carefully so as not to fall in. It smells like a combination of dust and monsters, but with something rather brimstone-y beneath it all. It looks and smells all too much like Malice, but it's even stronger than that was, before it all disappeared. 

The chasm is desperately dark, and Shadow does not fancy going down there. Luckily, Josha likes him, and won't make him do things he doesn't want to do. Even after six years out of Vaati's control, Shadow still sometimes finds it surprising when people ask rather than order. 

Shadow pulls back so he won't fall in. The Gloom doesn't make him sick like it makes regular Hylians sick, but he still doesn't like touching the stuff. He hears footsteps behind him, and sighs as he turns, ready to chew someone out for being this close to the chasms. 

Instead, he freezes, eyes wide, as his favorite face in all of Hyrule, above and below, rounds the bend. Vio looks a little tired, and something weird is up with his clothes, but it's him. He even does that little hesitation thing he does, like he's not sure Shadow actually wants to hug him or not. 

Of course Shadow wants to hug him. Shadow snatches Vio around the waist and spins him around once, holding him tight. He smells like the wind. 

"Vio, you're back!" Shadow gives him one more squeeze before pulling away enough to look at him. He doesn't really want to let go, but as much as he just wants to keep Vio pressed close for eternity, he also wants to see his face. 

Vio's smile is like the sun, and he's a bit breathless when he speaks. "Hi, Shadow. Miss me?" 

"Of course I missed you, Vi, I thought—" Shadow's interrupted by the other three arriving, dressed identically but for the colors again.

Something's definitely weird about their clothes, but Shadow lets it go in favor of pulling Blue into the group hug that Red initiates and Green throws himself into. He can't stop himself from jumping up and down a little to let off some of the sheer relief and joy that's filling him up. 

"Never seen Vio run so fast," Green says, and Vio smacks his head, but Red laughs. 

"It's been a few months." Shadow lets them go and looks them over with a critical eye. "You and Zelda have been missing, we thought you might have died, except people keep talking about seeing—"

"Zelda!" Red interrupts, pointing, and the five of them turn to see a girl standing out on one of the broken towers, a girl as blonde as them. Though the dress is different, Shadow clearly recognizes her. They don't even have time to register her appearance, though, before she lifts into the air and turns into sparkles. 

It's… weird, to say the least. Green looks like he's about to cry, and a heavier mood settles over the rest of them. 

"Guys?" Shadow begins. "Where have you been?" 

The four heroes exchange looks, and it's Vio who answers, sliding his left hand in Shadow's right as a comforting gesture for them both. 

"We woke up a few days ago," Vio says. "Up there."

Shadow follows his pointing finger—and that is definitely not a glove, seriously, what the hell—up to the largest island floating in the sky, far above them. "On the skyslands? Wait, wait, wait. A few days ago? What happened?" 

"It's a bit of a story," Green says with a sigh, his hands on his hips. 

They look tired. All five of them are in need of food, rest, and context. 

Shadow takes a breath and nods. "Let's head to Lookout, then. We're safe there. We can fill each other in, and you can grab some of your things. You're gonna get cold, wearing that."

---

For all that Shadow had meant that they'd tell stories inside a safe room, the others chatter away to him as they head down out of the castle and through the town ruins. He learns what happened when they went to investigate the tunnels below the castle that day months ago. He squeezes Vio's hand again as Green mentions that they'd almost died, so they'd been shoved back together into one body to heal, which also explains how they have identical, magical prosthetic arms. They tell him about finding the sword, but how using it to split again had weakened it too much to use. And if that wasn't enough, it had entirely disappeared into yellow light shortly afterwards. 

Blue talks a bit about the new enemies they'd fought, machine things that match up with some reports Shadow's heard. Vio's more interested in knowing how they work, going so far as to reveal that he'd been keeping parts of each one they'd defeated. It would sound stupid, but Red's all too excited to talk about the new abilities that came with their arms, and about how those machine parts came in handy. 

"Handy," Green repeats with a grin, and Blue shoves him to stumbling. 

"Be nice," Red scolds. "Hey, are those sky island pieces?" He runs ahead to look closer at the rocks that had fallen just outside of Lookout Landing. The area's deserted for the moment, so Shadow just tugs Vio along a little faster to keep up. 

"Yeah, a ton of these fell all over Hyrule when the islands appeared," Shadow says, watching Red inspect the rock. "They're kinda hard to climb, and we haven't really found anything we can use on them. Except the fruit."

"Oh, this is easy," Red says, looking directly up at an overhang. 

Shadow narrows his eyes. "What are you looking for?" 

Nobody has a chance to answer, because Red jumps straight up, his arm glowing. He jumps into the rock above him like a Zora headed off a waterfall into deep water. 

Blue laughs at Shadow's stricken expression, and Red appears on top of the rock again, climbing out as if it were just thick water. He goes to investigate the ruin on top. 

Vio takes pity. "He can do that now. That's Ascending."

"He can—swim through solid stone?" Shadow manages. "He can walk through walls?" 

"Not walls, just ceilings."

"How does that make sense?" 

Vio shrugs. "Is it really any weirder than being able to produce giant blocks of ice out of sufficiently large puddles, or having an infinite number of bombs, or"—he glances at Shadow—"teleporting through darkness?" 

Shadow has to admit, Vio has him on that one. He sighs heavily. "No."

Red calls down at them, poking his head over the edge. "It's just a steward construct, nothing dangerous. Hey, Green, how many crystallized charges do we have?" 

Green pulls out a device that looks suspiciously like a Purah Pad—when had he gotten one of those?—and answers. "Twenty-two?" 

"We need a hundred for another energy cell!" Red drops back down to the ground and hands off a few of those new fruits over to Green. 

Vio hums. "So that's how you get more."

"I have no idea what any of those words are," Shadow says flatly. 

"That's okay. We'll fill you in. But you need to fill us in, too." 

---

Lookout Landing isn't very big, but there are a few private rooms in the walls, mostly used by older folks. Shadow manages to snag two empty ones for the night, and the four of them sneak in without raising too much of a hullabaloo. Night falls, and things calm down enough that Shadow can breathe again. Things feel right with Vio sitting next to him on the balcony, looking up at the stars. He'd really missed this. 

When they'd gone down to investigate the tunnels with Zelda, Green had brought along the Sheikah Slate, despite its declining functionality. It appeared that once they weren't needed, all the shrines and towers and runes just… disappeared. The storage functions still worked just fine, though, so they didn't feel the need to switch to one of the prototypical Purah Pads.

Somewhere in the chaos, the Slate had disappeared, too, taking with it most of their magical clothing, which was pretty much all the clothing they ever owned. Shadow's pretty sure that they'll find more out in Hateno, but for now, they're wearing borrowed clothes from Shadow. He doesn't mind. 

He especially doesn't mind Vio wearing one of his outfits, dark sleeves and pants under a silvery lavender tunic. The moonlight bathing him makes him look ethereal. 

"I'm sorry we vanished there," Vio says quietly, nestled against Shadow's side. "I know there wasn't anything I could have done about it, but…"

Shadow pulls him a little closer. "You're okay. That's what I was worried about." 

Vio nods. "You, too. I'm glad to see the outpost growing. People here really respect you."

"I'm the closest thing they had to a Hero while you all were gone." Shadow snorts. "Thanks for coming back and taking some of that pressure off."

"Oh, I'm always glad to come and save my boyfriend from being too noble and chivalrous. Now you can get back to your regularly scheduled evil."

"See? You get it." Shadow lets out a deep breath and settles further into the contact. Vio is so relievingly warm and present. It makes Shadow feel more real, to have someone who knows him. 

Vio holds up his new hand to look closer at it. The nails are long, and he'd explained that they're really more like claws than nails. The skin is deep purple, but Shadow had seen it glow brighter when Vio had shown off his own new powers a little. Red could jump through ceilings (not walls, and not floors, they'd tried), Blue had a sixth sense for what weapons could be attached together for the best effect, Green pulled objects back in time, and Vio could make things. As if he needed a way to make his devious ideas a reality. 

It truly is a bit strange to see a different arm, but Shadow isn't really put off by it. He knows that he has a few strange traits of his own, and Vio loves him anyway, so of course Shadow would do the same. 

Shadow reaches out after a few seconds and takes the hand, lacing their fingers together to show Vio be doesn't care, just in case the idiot worried about it. "I assume you'll all be off soon? Are you going to stick together again?" 

Vio lowers his hand and turns his head into Shadow's shoulder. "We've got to go find Zelda, yeah, and help out with whatever's going on. Some of it sounds really bad. We already have one adventure down, so I'm not too worried about splitting up if we need to, but… it feels strange to think about actually doing that."

"Yeah, I get it. It does feel strange to think about."

"Are you going to come, too?" Vio asks. 

Shadow blinks up at the stars, wondering if he'd ever become so weightless he'd float up there. "What, me? Really?" 

"Sure. You have a Purah Pad too, a newer one. You have a lot of skills, and it isn't as if you'd be taking resources we need. I bet we could use the extra combatant, if you're willing to come along."

"I am so willing. I'm coming. You can't stop me, now."

Vio smiles. "We're going to cause so many problems."

"Hopefully fix a few, too."

"Yeah, that too."

[patorosa]

Uh, so yeah,

I think this one is longer than the other sorry xd

These are the (not definitive) redesigns that I made for my fnafhs remake. Why these guys and not the main five? I like them more, and I have a better idea of what I want to change specifically as a band and for the individual characters, I'm just gonna talk about what their Dela was in the og series, my personal issues with each character and what I want to change about them.

The band

This is just about what their role was in the story when the band "The toys" (I will call them TT) were introduced.

As I mentioned before, the characters were introduced to attract fans to the series, when TT were presented, they were initially introduced to be rivals of the main cast (mc), they were implied to be more skilled, confident and to be friends since they were young, a pretty good way to show what the mc needed to work on to win the competition. Though, after that their role changed a bit, and the story stopped focusing on them as a group, since the main competition was often left behind, and showed different aspects of their personalities.

In my version they will also be rivals to the mc. They are, however, friend because of casualty, they never expected to be together as a group, but we're not complaining. Think of the study group from Community.

Meg (or mangle)

Apparently her full name is meglody tf

The bad bitch, the emo, the icon. After her song released you could see tons and tons of recolor of her sprites online. She is the lider of TT, the vocalist, in the first image you can see her og design with the character chart, her s2 design and my redesign on bottom left.

She is one of the characters with most development, since she was shown to have various relationships with other people outside her band (though she hated most people) but she isn't shown to have any kind of development, a real shame.

For her redesign, she has crutches, not as a Tragic Backstory ™ but because I think that the series doesn't really explore that eye thing that she has (is she blind, is it a glass eye, is it a normal eye? Who knows ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯), and also this was kinda inspired on the animatronic. Can someone help me to portray disability correctly?

Personality wise, she is someone likes it when she is control of her things, though, she tends to go to the bossy side. She is prideful on who she is, and won't let anyone hurt her or her friends, who are precious to her. Her strong personality may not be of everyones taste, but she doesn't want to appear to everyone. She's been under a lot of stress lately, and that has resulted in burst of anger towards anyone who crosses her when she is not in her best mood, lest just hope this doesn't affect her closer relationships.

When she and her friends heard about the band competition they decided that they would participate, she is the main singer bc the others say she has the prettiest voice of them (their words).

Bon (toy Bonnie)

Not to be confused with Usagi bon who was also inspired by toy Bonnie

My personal favorite, he is the character with most development in my opinion, and part of the most (in)famous yaoi shota ai ships in the series, guitarist in his band and apparently a confident personality. Again in the image is his 1s and 2s looks, plus my redesign. In my design he looks darker bcs I drew him from memory.

Ever since his introduction, the fandom has shipped him with Bonnie, leading to the shota ai story, that is mostly based on bon crushing hard on Bonnie and going on his journey from "wtf dude I'm not gay" to "well I might be gay" that never actually ends in them being a couple but rather a lot of baiting from the creators and like two or three subplots that go nowhere (the fiancee, the homophobic dad, bullying the nerd). Anyway, even with all that he does show some growth on standing up for what he cares about and whatever, also, the ship got like two unrelated miniseries of 6 chapters each.

If you look closely (pls don't), it's clear that my design is closer to the 1s version, just with a sweater instead of that weird sleeve thing. I don't really like the 2s design bcs of a bigger problem with his character. I kept him a guitarist bcs is one of his main characteristic besides the homosexuality.

Now, my main focus on the rewrite of this character is around the treatment that he got with the ship material, since his only purpose was to make a romantic subplot, his original confident personality is changed to "UwU I'm not gay UnU" which I hate btw. So in my version he is going to be over the top confident, especially with his guitar skills, which makes him insufferable to other people to be around at times. In the yaoi department he is still going to be interested in Bonnie, so don't worry bout that.

He was the first to try and convince his friends to join the band competition, as a way to show off his skills beyond his performances at the park that he goes everyday after school. Huh, I wonder why he always gets home so late...

Joy (toy chica)

I forgot about her for a minute :P, there's no yellow font to match her :(

You know how in animes shen there's a rival team there's always a cute waifu who is just for fanservice? Well she's that waifu, and the fanservice goes around her being shippable, instead of the other kind of fanfiction. She's the pure, cute girl who is kind to everyone, no matter what (thinking of it, I don't remember her being angry). She also sings in the band (I think) and is constantly supporting other characters in their personal growth, while showing almost nothing herself. Uhh, what else? She sings kpop. The images are in the same order as the other two.

As you may have noticed, Joy has almost no role or personality in the story, she could've been replaced with a sign most of the time, and has little relationships with other characters (we barely know her role in the band).

I tried to add some ruffles and fancy accessories to her school outfit, more in the cutesy side, she would dress in lolita style, and adapt her style to the school regulations. Since she doesn't have much going on in her og designs.

I tried giving her a twist to her personality, so that she appears all kind and cute when you first meet her, but starts acting condescending at times, and other times straight up insulting you with her little :3 face. Though she claims that it's out of her control and tries to stop doing it, people around her are very careful in her presence, maybe to the point of straight up excluding her. Not her friends of course, since they may be the only ones that invite her to do things together.

A band competition sounded like a lot of work to joy, especially when she didn't know how to play an instrument of her own, but her friends insisted that they could teach her to play the bass, she just needed to get the hang of it

Toddy (toy Freddy)

Hated for crimes she didn't do 😔

For some weird reason she wasn't introduced with the rest of TT, making an appearance later in the series as (I'm not joking) Bon's fiancee, since then she was hated and put aside by everyone. Due to her brief appearances, she only has been used to make silly little jokes, forgetting the whole engagement, she plays the triangle for a joke, and also doesn't have character development. The world has been so unfair to her 😞✊.

Isn't it weird that the purposefully hateable character is dark skinned? Anyway, she is shown to be vain, arrogant, and in need for constant attention, with almost no positive qualities whatsoever. She's also shipped with a random character, no that you need to care because is part of the joke :).

I had always thought that dark skin characters in fnafhs had an ashy look to them, that's why I made her skin more vibrant, it may look redish, but that's bcs I used the orange background and it doesn't look as intense in there. Her outfit is accompanied with a lot of accessories, just to show off and shine. She is fancy and she will let you know it.

Her personality would be more down to earth than the others, she is more open about other people and tries to reason if conflict arrives, but if she considers it necessary, she will not doubt to completely cut ties with anyone, though it often leaves the confused.

Lately she haven't been hanging around the others as much as before, and refuses to participate in the competition, or to explain why.

[pickalilywrites]

SNK Actors AU. New Years party to celebrate the the completion of the anime series. Including characters from the beginning of the series

thanks :)

resolutions

scouting legion. marley warriors. actors au. 2124 words. read on ao3.

“Who wants alcohol?” Pieck asks in a sing-song voice. She smiles as she approaches the group of child actors. In her hand are some plastic wine glasses. Behind her is Porco with a disapproving frown on his face. She’s offered them alcohol once before at the previous cast party, the one that they had thrown to celebrate the end of Attack on Titan, but this time the children are less enthusiastic about her invitation to drink illegally. 

“No thanks,” Falco says with a sour face and Udo and Zofia nod in agreement. “It was so sour last time I could hardly finish my glass. Drinking is weird. I don’t know why adults do it.”  

“Well, I’ll have some!” Gabi says, puffing out her chest proudly. “I can take it because I’m so mature.”  

“You gagged the whole time you drank it last time,” Udo points out.  

“Shut up! No, I didn’t,” Gabi hisses, looking up quickly to make sure Pieck hadn’t heard any of it. She clears her throat and smiles broadly up at Pieck. “Anyway, I would love a glass, Pieck.”  

“Coming right up,” Pieck says with a wink.  

Porco follows closely behind Pieck. He glances back at the kids who are laughing and teasing each other, happy to be reunited after a busy year of wrapping up such a large project and starting new ones, and then leans towards Pieck once they’re out of earshot. “Do you think she’s going to figure out that you’re just giving her prune juice?”  

“Gabi? Nah,” Pieck laughs as she hands Porco the extra glasses so that she doesn’t have to bother with them. “Udo, on the other hand, is pretty clever. I think he has an inkling that I’m not actually giving them alcohol. He’s gearing up to be a little mini me.” 

“God, I fucking hope not,” Porco mutters.  

Nearby, the other actors that played the Marleyan Warriors are chatting with Ymir and Historia. Despite only Reiner having any decent screentime post season three, the five are quite close and talk easily with each other. Although the other four actors appeared either infrequently or not at all during the later seasons of the show, they made sure to meet with each other every few weeks to catch up. 

“How did we get a big enough venue for this? It’s like everyone’s here,” Reiner says with a grin. He smiles at another passing cast member and raises a glass towards them in greeting. “Did we really invite everyone? There are people here that I haven’t seen since season one.”  

"The more, the merrier,” Annie says although her tone and expressionless face doesn’t quite agree with the words she has just spoken. On her plate is a small pile of cookies, tarts, brownies, and whatever sweet treat she managed to snag from the dessert table. The actress’ sweet tooth was so amusing to the writers that they had written it into her character for the show.  

“Are we supposed to mix and mingle?” Bertholdt asks nervously. He loosens the tie around his neck and puts on a shaky smile as he looks around the room. Even after being a part of one of the biggest shows on television and participating in comic con during all his active years as a cast member on Attack on Titan, Bertholdt is still wracked with nerves when put in a room with too many people. “Is it okay that we’re just talking amongst ourselves?”  

Historia takes a sip of her champagne and waves her free hand at Bertholdt dismissively. “It’s fine. If they wanted to talk to us, they’d talk to us. People just find their natural groups after working with each other for so many years.”  

“Historia’s right,” Ymir says with a grin. She has one arm slung around Historia’s shoulders. “You worry too much about other people, sweet Bertl. Just have a few more drinks. You look like you can use some.”  

Bertholdt, never much of a drinker, begins to protest even as his friends goad him on.  

Connie Springer is one of the only people not wearing formal attire for the end of the year wrap party. Instead, he’s thrown on jeans and a t-shirt with the words “I survived the Rumbling” emblazoned across his chest. He’s proudly showing off his shirt to the other members of the main cast that had been in the Scouting Legion who are watching him with amusement.  

“I made one for everyone! Well, everyone who survived the Rumbling anyway. Sorry, Sasha. These are for heroes only,” Connie snickers as he begins to hand out matching t-shirts to his costars.  

“Hey, no fair! I saved people, too! I had that whole arc in the village,” Sasha protests.  

“Doesn’t count, you had to be alive during the final battle,” Connie replies and laughs when Sasha pouts in response. 

“These look great. Did you print them yourself?” Jean asks. He’s slipped the shirt on over his outfit even though it looks ridiculous when paired with his midnight blue blazer and matching dress pants.  

“I did indeed!” Connie says, puffing out his chest proudly. He watches Mikasa and Armin carefully. The two have accepted the shirts but haven’t put them on yet. “You guys don’t have to wear them right now, but promise me you’ll wear them.”  

“Oh, I’ll wear it. Sometime. In the future,” Armin says with a frown. His tone is unconvincing but the tentative promise seems enough for Connie.  

Mikasa nods at Eren who, like Sasha, is also emptyhanded. “Why doesn’t he get one?”  

“Are you kidding? He’s the one who started the Rumbling in the first place! I’d never give him one,” Connie sniffs.  

“Hey, you guys wouldn’t have even had the Rumbling without me. It’s because of me that you’re able to have those shirts printed in the first place,” Eren says with a charming smile. Even though the last episode had been filmed months ago, he still keeps his hair long although tonight he’s swept it up in a bun.  

Eren’s comment is met with a chorus of boos and the leading man only laughs as Mikasa and Armin take a few swings at him with their new shirts.  

“Oh, to be young,” Hanji says with a smile as they observe the younger cast members joke and bicker amongst each other. They lean over to nudge Moblit with their elbow, a lopsided grin on their face as they ask, “Their phones are probably still blowing up with movie and tv show offers.”  

“As if yours aren’t,” Moblit says, and Hanji laughs in reply. Moblit is only speaking from his own experience, but he’s received offers ever since his character’s death during the middle of the show. He hadn’t even thought his character was all that popular, so he was surprised at the “Justice for Moblit” campaign and numerous fans who have recognized him on the streets. He’s had his fair share of movie and tv show offers, although typically for supporting roles. He expects Hanji’s offers are even more impressive.  

“That’s true. Too many to choose from, although that’s kind of the opposite of a problem,” Hanji laughs. They gesture towards Pixis who’s chatting by the punch bowl with a few other actors who were part of the Garrison members. “Even Pixis is busy after the show’s ending. I heard he has a role lined up as a crazy king in a historical fantasy show.”  

The premise seems familiar to Moblit. “Throne of Lies? I think my manager sent me a script a few weeks ago. The director was interested in casting me as a knight or something,” he frowns. “God, they’re going to kill me again, aren’t they?”  

“It could be a good thing. My fanbase absolutely exploded when I died. I was more popular dead than alive. You should consider it,” Hanji says. They toss their head and look back to where Erwin is talking with Mike and Nanaba. They wave Erwin over, nearly knocking Moblit in the head with their arm in their excitement. “Hey, Erwin! You have any roles that you’re taking soon? Maybe there’s a project we’ll have together.”  

“Mmm?” Erwin hums. He feigns oblivion but everyone knows he’s incredibly private about his life. Only his closest friends know about his private life and hardly anyone knows what projects he’s in until they begin airing. It’s no secret he’s in high demand after his role as Commander Erwin Smith, but what upcoming roles he’s accepted remain a mystery. “I’m sorry. I haven’t decided yet. I’m still going over the scripts.”  

“You’re as tightlipped as ever,” Hanji grins. “Directors must love you. You never give anything away. I didn’t even know you were doing that spy thriller until it came out last year. Nobody heard so much as a whisper until the trailer was released.”  

Erwin shrugs. “What can I say? I like my work to speak for itself,” he says before taking a sip of his drink. 

A few tables away the other Scouting Legion members are conversing with Zeke much to Levi’s displeasure. They get along well with one of the series’ main antagonists even though all the members of Levi’s Squad had perished well before Zeke had appeared in the show. Even Farlan and Isabel, guest stars for a special episode, seem to be enjoying Zeke’s company. It’s difficult for Levi not to take this as a personal betrayal.  

“So they really had you bare ass naked on the set?” Auruo asks with an expression almost akin to awe. It’s the sort of admiration he had previously only reserved for Levi.  

“Multiple times, actually,” Eld says. He holds up fingers as he begins to list out all the times Zeke had appeared on Attack on Titan in the nude. “That time the goddess Ymir reconstructed his body, the finale, and then there were all the times he showed up shirtless. The fangirls went crazy.”  

“Oh yeah, I remember all those trending hashtags because everyone got a good look at that,” Gunther says, nodding at Zeke who just laughs modestly. “Pretty sure some of those scenes were just fanservice. Even the writers knew how popular Zeke was among the audience.”  

“Come on, they could have chosen other people in the cast to strip down,” Farlan says, and it’s only now that Levi feels he has an ally. Farlan gestures towards his own abdomen. “Nobody has any idea about the body I have and it’s only because the writers weren’t smart enough to write it in. That 3DMG training alone gave me abs for the next month and the poor audience doesn’t have a clue.”  

“Jealous?” Isabel snickers and Farlan scowls in response. 

Petra nudges Levi who notices that she’s not taking part in the conversation with the rest of their colleagues. She smiles up at him knowingly. “Do you have any interesting projects lined up, Captain?” she asks. Like many of her costars that had been part of what the fans affectionately call “Squad Levi,” she still keeps his title when referring to him.  

Levi has been in demand since his first appearance midway through season one although he had declined any additional work, choosing instead to focus on Attack on Titan until its completion despite the long hiatuses in between seasons. He hadn’t really thought of doing anything afterward, at least not immediately. He prefers to keep a low profile and Attack on Titan has already propelled him to heights of fame that he had never intended of reaching.  

“I’m not sure. This project was already a lot of work,” he admits. “I have a stack of projects my manager sent me that I still haven’t read.”  

“Maybe something more lowkey? There are a few indie projects that have blown my way. I can contact a few people if you’re interested, although my projects fall mostly in line with romantic comedies and the like,” Petra warns with a laugh.  

Romance of any kind would clash with his current image as a cold, calculating fighter, but Levi doesn’t actually mind. He could use a change of pace and reuniting with an old costar for an indie project could be an interesting challenge for the new year. “Sounds like it could be fun,” he says much to Petra’s surprise.  

“You’re not afraid of tarnishing your image as Humanity’s Strongest?” she teases. 

“Humanity’s Strongest New Year’s resolution is to take part in a good but unexpected production,” Levi replies with a shrug. He gestures to everyone else at the party. “I’m sure everyone here has similar goals for the new year.”  

The two enjoy their drinks and company as the others around them exchange stories of their old days and hopes for the future.  

[ewan-mo]

Mo had a dream

20th September 2023

The youngest student at the workshop; 2 months old. Son of Brenda, Community MH nurse, he is just 2 months old. He’s called Zion. And very advanced, of course.

At breakfast today I decided to have avocado. Because I could, because it’s good for me, and because we normally eat quite a bit of it at home.

Our menu here tends to be based on common Ugandan everyday foods, hence yesterday’s liver and cooking banana and today’s avocado.

Ewan began the day’s programme with a snowball exercise. 2-3 people discuss first, then they join another group to become 6 and so on. Each time the group has to decide on its ‘top 3’ – in this case, their top three things learnt as a result of the partnership with Jamie’s Fund. Great to read their results. I was not surprised, but I was moved, to hear mention of loving our patients, and other similar sentiments 

Long ago in Malawi, I was surprised and upset to find that the PrivateNotForProfit hospitals, which were mostly faith based, wouldn’t care for any patients with mental illness. While in government service we were developing community mental health care and reducing the population of the mental hospital, the mission hospitals were saying “We don’t do this.”

We asked a question of the Christian Medical Fellowship in UK as to why should this be? That led to a consultation: “Should faith based health institutions provide mental health services?”

An international conference followed in 1998: Developing Mental Health: a Challenge to the Churches. We brought participants from five continents - mental health workers, their managers and their bishops, and had a wonderful week in a conference centre in England. 

By then I had a dream: that faith-based hospitals, especially in low-income countries, would develop community mental health services, and offer love and commitment to this group of people who are so often stigmatised, rejected and outcast.

Working in Jamie’s Fund in Uganda, my dream has come true. Our young colleagues here have a shining vision to make things better in mental health, and they are transforming lives. They also love to learn and we are having such a good week with them.

Second on today’s agenda I presented Trauma Matters, prepared by our good friend Helen, a Liverpool psychiatrist. We were all looking forward to her first visit to Uganda – and so was she, but late in the day illness stopped that happening. Interesting presenting other people’s powerpoint! But I already knew that she and I had were of the same tribe, had concerns and values in common, and that it was a privilege to present her work. 

After lunch our colleague Sudaat told us about a new syndrome “Shake Shake”. Every so often these slightly odd presentations crop up, often in boarding schools, looking like some weird neurological disease. As far as I know, they never are, but are usually due to underlying stress and the girls ‘catch’ it from each other. You won’t be surprised to hear that in ShakeShake the girls’ legs shake.

Some of our colleagues had asked for screening tools to give them a straightforward and speedy way to assess those patients in medical clinics who come with physical symptoms but appear to have nothing wrong with them. So we talked about screening principles and got them doing translations of one such tool into local languages. Much hilarity ensued. Keeping control was like herding cats.  

We took a group photo with the banner of the the Diversity Foundation behind the group.  Diversity Travel have been very generous in their support to Jamie’s Fund and have paid about half the cost of this work shop for which we are very grateful..

Ewan enjoys data. Don’t drown in data, turn it into information!  Kuule from Bwindi and Lamet from Mukono, both very able and visionary mental health clinicians, joined Ewan to show how it could be done. Kuule and Ewan have recently spent a considerable time preparing a research paper on this very subject, which shows how the number of patients attending mental health clinics around Bwindi has increased as more clinics have been opened as a result of training of clnical staff  in basic mental health care, sponsored by JF.  The only officially required figures are for the clinic attendances rather than how an individual attends.  Just looking at the number of attendances doesn't tell you about the size of pool of patients or if individuals are attending regularly for follow up. You need this to be able to manage your service effectively.

Supper as usual and early bed.

[maddiem4-writes]

Reposado - Chapter 3

It took willpower to go inside. And I was hungry, it’s just that a full cafeteria is full of people, some of whom are complicated to be around. I was less alone in the hallway this time, because even now, there was a final trickle of random students. I had to figure some got stuck in conversation, some had a thing or two to finish up, but… nobody was in a rush. Lunch was still on, but the rush was over.

I recognized a few people, like Leon. We weren’t enemies or anything, but we used to be better friends. Stevie, who cut her hair real short last year and then had to grow it back out again. Paul - ugh, fucking Paul, has there ever been a good Paul? Who’s named a kid Paul in the last twenty years? This motherfucker’s parents I guess, and it was the beginning of the end for him, fucking Paul.

There was still a line for the food, and that’s always weirdly nice, it means you don’t have to start the line all over again and carry the pressure of the line behind you. It’s not so awkward with the food ladies. You just show up and participate in the pattern in progress, and who gives a crap? That’s how I felt about it. Just say what you want and pay for it.

So I found myself staring out at the crowd, tray in hand, looking at the usual tables. And yep, there my friends were, waving for me, and it’d be rude not to join them. I think by then, I was starting to put together that the pain of having to leave someday was bleeding into a pain to be around them. But nothing more than that. It’s hard to say now.

I picked a free spot on the end and slid in laughing, and you know what, that was a genuine laugh. When I actually got there, it was easy to be my usual self. I went straight for my fries, I caught up on the gossip, presided an impassioned debate on whether stereotypical viking helmets are meant to be a visual pun about how horny a person famous for raping and plundering would have to be. Steph was convinced (well, silly and insistent) that this theory was 100% true, and any claims otherwise are cowardly. Caleb thought it was a horns of alcohol thing, which sounds more historical, but who am I, the Viking whisperer? It was fun to hear them argue, and across the table diagonally, I saw Mara grinning along with me. It was a nice moment, and I felt a little lighter.

“Well, Lees, you break the tie. Horny or boozy?” Steph asked, waving her hands dramatically.

“Uhhhh… yeah, I’m gonna say horny. Point goes to you, Steph!” She clapped her hands on the table in smug superiority, and stuck her tongue out at Caleb. And like, what are we, five? But it was fun.

I looked at Mara again. We were riding that same high. Being part of the group, but also kind of a participating audience soaking up every minute of it. She laughed and took a bite of her ham sandwich, and I watched the way the fluourescent lights played off her strawberrry blonde ponytail. It was the second time in a minute that I lost track of what people were saying around me.

“…so gross, like who did it…”

I blinked. “Sorry, what?”

Bree looked at me. “The handprint. You know, in the lady’s…”

“Oh right, shit! Yeah, I saw that. I have no idea who did that, but you’re right, it’s gross.”

Cassie squirmed and raised her hand. “Sorry, that was me, my bad. But I’ll have you know, it’s not what it looks like, I swear! It actually looks a lot worse today.” Groans resounded the table. “Noooo, no don’t tell people! It’s not period blood, it’s from my nose! It’s a nosebleed, it got on my hand as I was running to get toilet paper. That’s all. Jesus.”

Steph looked concerned. “Cassie, I don’t get nosebleeds so I don’t know what’s normal, but that was a whole-ass hand worth of blood. Are you okay? For real, girl.”

Cassie rolled her eyes. “I’m fine. I got a little pale on Friday, but here I am, doing great, full of kale and orange oil and whatever else my mom throws at me. I’d probably survive a meteor strike right now. Although… uh-oh… oh shit it’s coming back it’s coming back it’s coming back…” She dunked her hand in her raspberry jello, then reached out like a zombie and grabbed Steph by the wrist. Steph shrieked like a field mouse. “oh noooo, I’m dying, oh nooooooo, save yourselves……”

Steph wriggled free as the table fell apart laughing. She gave Cassie a steel-hardened glare, and without breaking eye contact, defiantly licked the jello from her wrist and hand. “Bah, mere plague? Please, you’ll have to do better than that!” Caleb looked at me and shook his head in his usual can you believe this shit style, grinning ear to ear.

Cassie, of course, played right into the theater. “You say that now, but in ten days we’ll see who lives and dies! PLAGUEEEEEEEEE!” And… I don’t know, maybe this is a trick of how I’m remembering it all now. But I feel like I saw a flicker there for a moment, that Cassie was… surprised that she said that? Or that she phrased it the way she did? And… again, it’s not like I can ask her now, for obvious reasons. But it’s something I’ve wondered about many times since then. Ten days. It’s just… I dunno what to think about that.

You know what, I do remember something specific, although I don’t know how much it’s useful. Yes. This was the moment where it really hit me that Mara and I were on opposite corners of the table, and I looked at that distance and… it hurt. Not like I’d been wronged, at all, just… I looked at how much table was between us and I processed it as pain. It’s something I’m 100% certain I felt before, but this moment? This was the moment I acknowledged it.

It was destabilizing. It hurt at the edges of whatever fucking hole was inside of me, like a candle flame through a sheet of paper. I remember trying not to show it, and being mostly unnoticed… but you can tell when someone’s looking at you. And I didn’t have to meet her eyes. I knew, in that little fugue moment where I gave up and looked at nothing, that Cassie saw me from directly across the table. I felt her… worry.

And I shook it off. Another fry, finally get a bite of my sandwich, life is good, huh? Yeah. Life is good.

[sanjosenewshq]

Does El Cerrito have one of the best protection within the Bay Space?

EL CERRITO There are some good defenses in highschool soccer throughout the Bay Space. However this can be one of the best. El Cerrito Gauchos permits a shade over six factors per sport and begins with two first-class calibers, Washington State’s Warren Smith and junior Kamani Jackson, who had a bid from San Jose State. Behind them is the protection duo of Jermaine Hargraves and Aaron Woodard, two proficient seniors. So yeah, attempting to throw towards El Cerrito is not one of the best plan of assault. Eight of the highest 25 Bay Space Information Group groups this week are giving up lower than 10 factors per sport. El Cerrito, ranked tenth, is No. 1 in that group at 6.4. Miserliness is not any accident. “We push one another into apply, we play on one another’s strengths and we cowl one another’s weaknesses,” Hargreaves stated. “We play for one another, and I feel most groups are struggling as a result of they can not break our bond.” This league kicked off within the spring of 2021 because the quartet had the chance to start out throughout a five-game schedule of pandemic shortened video games by which the Gauchos had been unbeaten. The unbeaten file was good, however the way in which El Cerrito received predicted what was to return. “We knew we could possibly be actually good after we misplaced seven factors throughout that complete season,” Woodard stated. “We knew we had a particular protection and that we had been in a position to come again utterly after that.” Final fall, El Cerrito allowed an eight-point common over his first 5 video games and went on to complete 9-3 and attain the North Coast Division playoffs. This season, the group had one elimination and beat Amador Valley – now seeded 14 – 7-3. “The coach teaches us whereas learning the movie what checks to do once we see a sure group, and through the sport it is extremely clear,” stated Smith, the primary contender for the Bay Space Information Group Participant of the 12 months. “We all know the place we shall be and all of us belief one another to do our job.” Coach Jacob Rincon stated he trusts excessive schoolers to make right performs with minimal enter from the sideline. He praised the management and persona of the gamers, noting that it’s an enchancment over what this system went via just a few years in the past. “Lots of people are used to being in (media) stories, they usually need particular person scholarships and honors,” Rincon stated. “However now it is in regards to the group and we’re taking part in as one, and that is what the El Cerrito group stands for.” The group received a glimpse of how nicely the protection was throughout a group brawl in August that included sturdy NCS De La Salle, Pittsburg and Jesuit-Carmichael of the Sac-Joaquin Division, which was 5-0. “Pittsburgh quarterback Jaden Rashada is likely one of the finest quarterbacks within the area, and our gamers needed to indicate their potential,” Rincon stated. It is not simply the secondary that will get the job accomplished for El Cerrito. The line of defense and the again additionally play their half. This group contains new pupil Sione Fanaika, a 250-pound, 14-year-old who enjoys taking blockers for a run. In step with the team-first philosophy, Vanica was fast to yell at a dignitary to assist him steer. “Tommy Fuukisu is the one who introduced me in and taught me how to slot in,” Vanica stated. “He helped me get via conditions, he was going to take me to the sidelines to get my stage proper.” The Gauchos fashioned as a group that could not look higher once they kicked off the league desk at house towards Bethel on October 7. Rincon stated the aim, similar to each season, is to seize the NCS and state championships. Given this 12 months’s protection, this could be an achievable aim for a program with one NCS title (2013) in its storied historical past. “The sky is the restrict,” Woodard stated. Originally published at San Jose News HQ

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

High Stakes Push

Summary- 1.4k Nick Gant x Reader. You and Nick have a job to do that require some skills that your rag-tag team of Division's Most Wanted posses. It requires some finesse, some surprise, and most importantly, not getting caught.

Warnings- Threatening manner. This is an 18+ Only Blog.

A/N- This is written for @darth-anakin-bucky 1k Challenge. My prompt will be italicized in the story. Thank you Suz for letting me participate and congratulations on your milestone. I'm sorry that this is so late though. All mistakes are my own.

Main Masterlist

You fiddled just outside of the clubs exclusive door. Where you knew the card game was going on, waiting with a tray of drinks. Nick was already in there, working the game with a finesse that you trusted. 

There was one thing Nick Gant was good at, it was a decent hustle. He would be able to goad and intice everyone to put everything they had into the game. Money, jewlery, cards, valuables. It was a gauranteed payday for you two, not to mention the other item you two were actually hired to steal, this was a easy job, a quick job and your little ragtag group desperatly needed it now that funds were running low once again. 

The two of you had it down, even down to you imposing as a clubs waitress, dressed to kill if need be. Strapped to your inner thigh was a dagger that had gotten the two of you out of some less then desirable situations. You just hoped that this wouldnt be one of them. 

Loud noises, bouncing lights and exuberant buzzed people pounded the energy behind you. You felt them, your body drawing from them the whole time, building, building, building. It throbbed in you, but you contained it like a little bomb in your core. A bouncer stood at the door, looking you up and down as if checking you out. 

Sweet little innocent, you with your skimpy dress and tray of drinks looking to go resupply the game going on with the twenty-five thousand dollars buy in. Cassie told you this would be the one to hit, worked it all out for both you and Nick. Assured you that they would let you in thinking you were simply the owner's newest favorite working girl. You could play this part. 

“How long you been here Sweetheart? Ain’t never seen you delivering drinks for Burgendy before.” 

You already rehearsed this line, Nick worked with you to make sure you got it just right. “Long enough. Got Burgendy’s Dalmore 62.” You nodded at the ridiculous expensive shots carefully placed in the middle, which the man glanced down. “He’s expecting this right now. You are not gonna make me explain to Mr.Burgendy that I’m not bringing his victory shots because his man wouldn’t let me through.”

It’s all about bluff, all about bluff. He looked you over once more and then stepped aside to let you through. You breezed past him as if you belonged, climbing a red encased set of stairs to the upper levels. Another door was clicked open for you, allowing you to enter the exclusive game. You never even looked at Nick as you approached the club owner. 

A truly vile man who took advantage of his workers in various ways. Cleaning him out gave you a sense of pleasure, as well as the rest of the men here. You could see the collection in the center of the table, piled high, just waiting to be plucked. Burgundy boasted out in a confident laugh, beckoning you in closer to him. “Got something just for me? You sure are a pretty thing.” His hand clasped the back of your ass, a fat hand digging into a cheek like he owned you. 

The temptation to stab the fuck in his neck right there was strong. But you resisted. You felt a rumble of the table and you willed Nick to chill and not loose his cool, not yet. 

You set the requested shots in front of the owner, smiling sweetly as you played the sweet innocent part, pretending to stutter over your words and act meek. “Y-yes, straight from the bar. They said it was your favorite Sir.” 

“Oh you are a keeper. Ass like a dime and manners to boot.” He pulled out his wallet and slipped the last remaining bill from it, tucking it in the front of your dress. “Keep this up Honey and I will keep you on my personal staff.” 

You had the wallet in sight, his ID’s and cards that was your main target in sight, it was enough to act not. For the first time you glanced at Nick, the clear signal. Now. 

Nick pushed back from the table, well out of harm's way while all that club energy you stored, you let it go. A heavy boom of a wave pounded around the table, the shock wave sending the bastards gambling at the table flying in all corners as if blasted from some invisible force. Nick managed to keep them pinned in place, his fingers splayed wide while maintaining the pressure across the room. “Gather it up Y/N, I can’t hold this many for long.” 

You scrambled, scooping up the wallet where Burgendy dropped it and sweeping your arm across the table to shove everything into a bag you had folded under your dress. You grabbed the dagger strapped to your thigh, leaning over Burgendy as he struggled against the pressure, beads of sweat rolling down his face in his fear. You let the knife tip slide along the edge of his face, sneering at him. “An anonymous buyer sends there regards. Keep fucking with your employees and someone worst then us will be back.” You snapped up to a stand, striding out of the room from a different exit with Nick right behind you. 

His arm went over your shoulder and he started counting doors, looking for that fifth one that Cassie insisted would take you through the kitchen and out into the back alleyway. There was yelling behind you, which you glanced over Nicks shoulder and sure enough, the bouncer who let you in was bursting through the door and looking for you. 

“We gotta get out of here Nick.” You ducked your head a bit to keep him from noticing you. 

“On it.” There was a twist of his fingers and the door burst open to let you two slip through. The kitchen ignored you two while darting down the aisle. You felt bad because these people were innocent in all this but you had to make a distraction. 

Nick did it for you, tossing up trays of utensils and food behind the two of you. No one continued following you, paused by the mess of flying plates and expensive fliet mignon. The back door was your saving grace, bursting out by a dumpster that looked like a body or two had been tossed in before and a disaster of a alleyway, Nick pulled you two to hide around it, out of sight. He enclosed you into his arms, shielding you form sight as your dress would have been a dead giveaway and you reached around him to yank his hoodie over his head, keeping your heads together while the door on the other side of the dumpster burst open. “We lost them Sir…” 

Nick and you held your breath, praying that he wouldn’t look around too much. You heard shuffling and the creak of the door slamming shut once again. “Well, he put zero effort into looking for us.” Nick scoffed as he let his tight hold loosen. 

“Just like Cassie said.” You said confidently as you let yourself give a nervous chuckle. Nick turned his gaze to that dress, whistling softly. 

“You look smoking hot in that Bunny.” He pinned you back to the alleys brick wall, his good mood at pulling this off making his features lighten up, a mischievous glint in his eyes while he traced a finger over the plunging v in the front. “I was ready to pop that bastards head off, touching you like that.” 

“I’m glad you maintained control. You are getting better.” You praised while he went in for that kiss, one that was just dirty in all the best ways, the adrenaline rush making you gasp against plush lips that still tasted of overpriced liquor and promises of a good time once they returned back to their little current hidey-hole. Your hand grasped the back of his neck to hold yourself in place, brushing into the spikey strands to give a gentle tug. Nick hissed against your lips, but let himself lift away. 

“Nick, if we get caught kissing in a small, dark, kind of shady alleyway, it’s on you.” 

“Ain’t no one gonna catch us.” As he said that, the door slammed back open, making you both duck out of sight. Once it went quiet again, Nick jerked his head towards the street, taking your hand. “You’re right. Let’s not push our luck.”

[amazingphilza]

twitchcon :: cc!multiple x reader

fluff , platonic , gender neutral ! some mcyt headcanons if you were to attend twitchcon w them

cc’s included in order: tommyinnit , tubbo , ranboo , wilbur soot , philza , technoblade

cw: kinda lengthy for the minors (i think), not as much for the hags LMAO /hj

tommyinnit

this man is so excited to be at his first twitchcon & being able to hang out with all his best friends makes it a hundred times better

when he isn’t at a panel or doing meet & greets, he’s dragging you everywhere to see the whole convention center (clingyinnit)

he is just so at awe despite this not being his first convention to attend

you’d be surprised he gets tired pretty quickly & stops over to the partner lounge

you both rest for a bit against a wall in a pretty packed hallway despite it being an exclusive area to twitch partners

every time a famous streamer walks by he will yell it out and record it then vlog your reaction, even if they’re surrounded with bodyguards & trying to get to another place quickly

he’d zoom in his camera to their face at a horrible angle and be like

“oh my god it is THE ninja. ninja famous fortnite player, HELLO.”

but he gets completely ignored

then the camera pans out to you, still really zoomed in that the capture is blurry

“ninjainnit?”

“EH?”

tommy is so confused, forgetting the bit ninja did on his twitter where he renamed himself ‘ninjainnit’ for a split second

okay tommy isn’t that athletic but he will chase you and the rest of your group down a hallway if he had to

he’d probably find a toy gun from the artist alley/seller booths and shoot you and wilbur with it

but if tommy stumbles across any of the dream team, it’s about to be minecraft manhunt but irl

and he will def play his stream music while walking or smth when he’s bored (or trying to jump dream & sapnap)

** DO DO DO DO MANHUNT MUSIC **

oh my god,, now thinking about it he’s probably the one to open like random doors of empty rooms and steal stuff while you film him

like he will take a random empty glass, a bunch of pens, a freebie t-shirt, everything he sees he takes with him and you’re just panic

“tommy we’re literally not supposed to be here, and i’m stuck here filming you. it’s surely a felony in action”

“well, it’s their fault for leaving the doors open! plus this is great content. who’s the dirty crime boy now, HM?”

you’d tell wilbur about this and he’d scold tommy and threaten him with the same pen tommy stole

tommy probably would also drag you some weird event happening outside twitchcon along with tubbo and ranboo

“pokimane is giving out free pizza to everyone if we go to this one restaurant down the street!”

“we are literally gonna get bombarded. have you forgot you’re like three of twitch’s top streamers? i’d rather pay for all of our meals than try getting free pizza from pokimane against all her other fans”

“DEAL! let’s go to five guys then!”

you unfortunately end up paying for all 3 of their meals and picking on their food instead of buying your own

even with all of them making way more money than you, they still happen to be cheapskates

OR tommy will end up getting a burrito from a taco truck, immediately making a mess of himself, then proceed to complain how messy the food is to eat despite knowing what he was getting himself into before even ordering

“shit my clothes are all ruined now!”

“well that’s your fault you got a burrito, as if it’s your first time having one”

“i mean the food is good, i’m not complaining about that but i don’t think it’s that good that it’s worth costing my red and white shirt, im just saying”

tubbo

same with tommy, he is so excited

i don’t know why but i imagine him overpacking his suitcase and you making fun of him for it

anyway tubbo has his irl backpack on and streaming EVERYTHING

probably spends a lot of time at a bunch of different booths, checking out all the pointless gadgets he could buy for his stream

you’re the one to stop him from doing so

“TUBBO IT’S LITERALLY OVER TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS, STOP. DONT GET IT.”

“WHY NOT?? IT WILL BE COOL FOR MY STREAM AND I WILL USE IT EVERYDAY”

“okay theoretically speaking, how the hell are you going to even bring it home? which—let me remind you—is across the country for you and not to mention the giant ocean separating america and the uk”

“free ship-pang!!!”

“i hate to break it to you tubbo but there is no way you can get free shipping on a FIVE FOOT PC. it’s nearly as tall as you! what are you even gonna do on it, hack the government???”

the arguments are all lighthearted but eventually you give in and let him splurge over a thousand dollars in different devices he claimed he “needed”

i could honestly see him visiting the beaches in san diego and going for a swim or even renting out a boat to use for a bit :D

also he’d bring benson along with him and taking a bunch of scenic photos with it in them

i have a feeling he’s the type to schedule a spontaneous meet & greet because he was bored & gets in trouble for causing a mob in a certain part of the convention

he’s like “oh god, i did not expect this many of the bois to show up AHAHAH oops”

tubbo would def pull a lilypichu and bring his melodica or ukulele and play themes while following random people/cosplayers

at the end of the day, you’d find his bag just stuffed with crap he either got for free or bought in the convention

“how did you get all that stuff? i was with you all day??? and it’s only the first day of the convention, hello?? it looks like you’ve been collecting as if twitchcon has went on for a week already!”

“HA i have my ways, do not underestimate my powers”

lani would probably tag along for the vacation honestly

like whenever someone comes up to her giving her gifts/asking for pics, you and tubbo would tease her about how famous she is

and i dunno but something about tubbo just gives me this amusement park energy and going to legoland and spending the whole day there since it’s near by and because he can

ranboo

he is like a beacon in a sea of people, that’s it .

i honestly just see him causing as much chaos as the other two

ranboo would probably like take someone’s camera whether if they’re streaming or if it’s for the vlog, hold it up high, and point the camera directly above someone’s face

it did not matter how tall you were and if you had platform shoes on, ranboo was a skyscraper next to you

“HAHAH this is how i see you from this height, this is funny”

then he shows you the vid of the recording of him getting like an aerial view of your face

like you see your nose and all your pores and just overall a bad angle to be captured in

“OH GOD RANBOO DELETE THAT, ITS HORRIFIC”

i dunno why but i feel like he’d jump scare every person that was cosplaying as his minecraft character from behind for some reason

“BOO!”

“ranboo i’m not even remotely dressed as your skin—”

“don’t worry i’m practicing it’s fineee”

“you’re like the height of 2 people combined, i think you will be fine as is. you even intimidated the security at the front”

i feel like if he had his own panel he’d like pull up some undertale song in the middle of it and scare all the people in the crowd

“lore but in real life”

probably would get some matching keepsake with you from artist alley/the booths!

i could imagine like a cute keychain or smth :D

i feel like he’s the type to like randomly volunteer as a participant for those mini events in a booth thinking it would be funny but regrets it the moment he’s on stage

after introductions the presenter is like “okay ranboo, you will be given a random meme prompt above your head you won’t be able to see until after and you will have to make a random face to compliment it!”

and you can just tell by his facial expression he’s just thinking

oh god what have i gotten myself into

what is this game? who came up with this idea?

you’d laugh at him the whole time, even after he’s off the stage and finished with that small fiasco

“that was horrible. never again.”

“AHAHAH IT LOOKED SO AWKWARD YOU DID GREAT”

“I CROSSED MY EYES AND PUFFED MY CHEEKS BECAUSE I COULDNT THINK OF ANY OTHER FACIAL EXPRESSION. THE PROMPT ENDING UP BEING ‘WHEN TWITTER CANCELS YOU FOR USING PLASTIC STRAWS.’ AND WHEN I SAW WHAT IT WAS—LITERALLY WHAT KIND OF GAME–”

“I GOT PICTURES AND EVERYTHING ITS PERFECT AHAHAHAH”

wilbur soot

honestly with wilbur it’s slightly more chill

he already experienced twitchcon before so he’s just glad to see his friends again after so long

insists that you explore the convention yourself rather than sticking with him the whole time but you do anyway!

wilbur would probably have like a mini concert and gets you front row seats with the rest of the group

but that doesn’t mean before it that you’re not helping him set up

“y/n please– my amp is so heavy, i can carry it”

“don’t worry! i’m strong” :D

and musically talented or not, he will probably bring you and the rest of his friends up to stage to just vibe and sing a bunch of random acoustic songs

it’s not like some big concert hall stage,, i imagine more like a casual thing w a slightly higher platform from the ground yk?

after spending a long day at the convention he’d also bring everyone across the city to la jolla or smth !

you’d all probably have dinner there and chill, watching the pretty sunset

“this place is really pretty but oh my god im gonna lose my breath hiking up this stupid hill, please slow down”

and wilbur is like ??? because he’s completely fine with his long legs and everything

“just walk faster”

“no, you walk slower”

AHAHAH and for context traversing through la jolla by walking around the town is a bit hard since it’s basically on a bunch of hills (walking up from the beach to a restaurant actually is actually sm work, trust me ive been there)

wilbur honestly doesn’t spend that much time in the actual convention center, he’s probably sightseeing a bit of san diego with you instead

but i could imagine him staying at the tabletop games area playing dnd or smth

“c’mon y/n, come join!”

“uhh i’m not sure, i’m not the best at roleplay and...”

“it’s fine don’t worry!”

he’d pull you in with him and end up enjoying yourself even if it was your first time

and if you’re of age, you’d be wilbur’s +1 at the twitch partner party and make sure mans doesn’t too drunk

if it’s not too late in the night, you two would chill at the beach after the party

it’s just a nice, calming moment after all the loud music mixed with hundreds of conversations at the party

also something about like taking polaroids pictures with wilbur just seems to go hand in hand for me

i’m not sure why but you will be taking lots of pics with wilbur for sure (not necessarily you both in the photo, but of sceneries as well while you’re together!)

philza

literally a dad on vacation with his children, it doesn’t matter how old you are

need sunscreen? surprisingly has it

want a snack? probably has a small granola bar somewhere in his bag

but same with wilbur, he’s more chill like this isn’t his first time at twitchcon

omg he’d def bring you to the artist alley and just buy a bunch of fanart and stuff tho

“oh wow look phil, someone made a giant poster of the dream smp and shit!”

“holy shit that’s so good what the fuck!”

and he’s like rushing to that artist’s stall to buy a poster or print

idk why but phil seems like the person to know where he’s going all over the convention center

he probably had a copy of the directory map but yk

you just have trouble reading it bc all the signs seem to be misleading to you

nothing really crazy screams out to me of what phil would do at twitchcon besides like go to a few events, spend a bunch of time w his friends, etc

HOWEVER i could see him wasting a lot of his time at the gaming area and testing new games that are currently on the works of being developed

like “woah y/n, this vr game is sick, you should try it out!”

ngl i feel like phil would plan a visit to disneyland for everyone, like he gets the tickets and everything but once you’re at the park it’s free reign, y’all go everywhere with not much of a plan

the minors would try to cheap out phil and pay less than the others even though everyone else fully paid phil back and everything LMAO

ok but if he’s feeling nice, phil will buy everyone cotton candy/pretzels :D

and if you’re not hungry, he’d at least get you a mickey balloon

HE WILL HAVE MATCHING MICKEY EARS WITH MUMZA YES .

ALSO STAYING FOR THE FIREWORKS THOUGH OMG

just in general, best idea phil had for taking everyone to disneyland :D

technoblade

surprisingly techno is really calm despite this being like one of his first conventions

but when he finally settles in and gets comfortable, he’s showing the same energy

if you’re playfully yelling, he will yell back

however there’s still those awkward moments that are unavoidable

idk why but something about him makes me think that if you feel tired and want to go back to your hotel room, he’d go with you just to make sure you get there safe

he probably also needs a break from being around everyone else for a moment too LMAO

i could also see him searching far and wide in the artist alley for fanart of himself AHAHAH

walking around with him in the convention consists of someone yelling “BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD” every 5 minutes but you don’t really mind

something about him makes me think he’ll be forced into playing minecraft twitch rivals along with the rest of sbi or smth

and he’s like “oh god, i’m going to be on stage? and people will see my face while i play minecraft?”

“i’m sure it will be fun!”

“i mean i like being competitive and feeding my ego, but i’m not that desperate.. well”

do i imagine techno getting easily tired of being surrounded by a bunch of people and just going back to his hotel room with phil and watching some anime with him? yes

and will you watch even if you have no idea what’s going on? also yes

i feel like after a while of you guys hanging out in techno’s room, the rest of the gang will just slowly join you guys

like eventually everyone is there; you, techno, phil, wilbur, niki, tommy, tubbo, ranboo, etc

and techno is like “wha– where did you guys come from?” because his room is basically packed

and niki could be like “oh we can go if you want!”

then techno just insists that she’s fine “but who let the child get in?” clearly implying tommy’s presence

“OI!!”

eventually techno gives in with the company and someone gets a bunch of board games to play from the front desk

lots of yelling and laughing for sure

when it becomes late at night, techno is like half conscious, you’re on your phone, wilbur is staring out the window & enjoying the night view, tommy is passed out on the couch from tiredness, tubbo & ranboo is still wide awake quietly talking, and phil & niki are helping clean up the giant mess

eventually everyone brings themselves to go back to their own room except tommy who won’t budge

you give techno a look and he immediately understands what you were thinking

he rushes to the bathroom to fill up two cups with ice cold water and handed one to you

“on three?”

“okay.. one”

“two”

“three!”

then both of you pour the water on the poor child’s face

he jolts awake and saying a string of curses

“what the fuck techno? y/n too?”

“get out” is the only think techno says that before tommy rushes out with his stuff and you leave right after

a/n: i honestly can’t wait until conventions open up again though,, phil and ranboo were talking about vidcon earlier and omg.

also i kinda want to take in tommy requests but i’m not sure??? it would be both cc! and c! x gn!reader for sure tho. i love writing him to bits but who knows, maybe i’ll only stick to my ideas,, or not. send in a tommy x reader request, might do it, might not, but he’s my fav cc if you can’t tell so! :D (i dunno if i will keep it strictly platonic, but unrequited crushes and stuff are fun to write hehe,,)

edit: let’s hope i fixed all the grammar mistakes LMAO we love writing late at night :) /s /hj

[unknownalien3388]

Wanda Goes To Support Group.

Still mourning the loss of her late wife, Wanda begins attending a spousal support group. Knowing Y/N would want her to heal and live her life, Wanda reluctantly participates in the sessions for months. It's only when her newfound friend Natasha encourages her that Wanda finally decides to share her heartbreaking story with the group, signifying a crucial turning point in her healing journey.

                                                   --------

The one thing I loathe above all else is my Spousal Support Group It is just a bunch of depressed people getting together to talk about why they are depressed. It is sad, really. But I go every week anyway, in hopes that one day it will make me feel better. But it never does. Actually, nothing makes me feel better anymore and nothing has in a very long time. “Wanda?” Keegan Mc Call, the Spousal Support Group leader, and grief counsellor, called my name softly, pulling me out of my thoughts.

“Yes?” I say, making an effort to appear like I have been paying attention and not like I have been planning my escape. I had only been here little under five minutes, but I was already ready to walk out of the local church that was holding the support group and never come back.

"I see you brought a friend with you." Keegan nodded her head to the young woman sitting next to me, hand clasped in mine. Natasha Romanoff, my new and only friend. We met a few months back after she commented her agreement on my Facebook rant post about how Spousal Support Groups were stupid and a waste of time. Soon after, she sent me a direct message, and we began chatting. During our conversation, we discovered that we had a lot in common, which was a rare thing to find after most of my friends drifted away in the months following my wife's death.

"Hi, I'm Natasha," she introduced herself with a smile. To those who don't know her well, Natasha's smile would seem warm and genuine. But I easily saw through her fake smile to the unease that hid behind it. Her smile, like a lot of things Natasha did since her wife's death, was part of the mask she'd created following her wife's passing. Even though it didn't sit right with Natasha to hide her true feelings, the façade served as some type of shield between her and the outside world. A coping mechanism that allowed people see what they wanted to see to help them believe that Natasha was better. And though it felt artificial and wrong to her, it did give her what she needed to truly grieve in private. After Y/N's death, I learned that most people found solace in the idea that they had contributed in some way to someone else's healing after the loss of a loved one, be it a spouse or a family member. 

"Hello Natasha." The group replied in unison.

The awkward silence that followed was broken by the sound of Keegan clapping her hands to gain the group's attention. "Okay, how about we start care and share time?" She looked around the circle. "Who haven't we started with? how about you start us off, Sarah?" Keegan suggested.

"Sure," Sarah muttered dejectedly, not really caring. Everyone knew that she attended the support group, not because she wanted to, but because she didn't want her mother to worry about her after she lost her husband of fifteen years to brain cancer two years ago. Sarah blamed herself for her husband's death. She believed that if she had taken his constant and severe headaches more seriously and pushed him to see a doctor sooner, her husband would still be alive. It was clear, just by looking at Sarah, that since her husband's passing, she had stopped taking proper care of herself. Her skin was an unhealthy pale color; she had lost a concerning amount of weight, and it was obvious she hadn't washed her hair in months.

I glanced around the group as each member took turns retelling their stories of loss and grief. We were all sat in a circle called the Circle of Divine Healing, in the middle of the room and just below a crucifix. It is believed that Jesus was watching over us during support group and granting us the strength to heal from our pain and troubles. I was grateful that Keegan was too preoccupied with the other members to notice what I was doing. Which was not paying attention. I didn't need to. It was the same stories each week. Care and Share Time was my least favorite part of support group. It was a time, at the beginning of the session, where everyone took turns telling their story of how they lost their spouse and how they are still grieving even though it has been ‘insert time here’ since they passed and at the end, we all, in monotone, say ‘We are sorry for your loss, and we are here for you.’ Which I think is a load of bullshit and completely insincere because no one in Spousal Support Group interacted with each other outside of the weekly meetings. 

“Now, Wanda, would you like to share?” Keegan asked like she did each meeting, with a hopeful look in her eyes. I know every week Keegan hoped I might finally open up about my loss and pain with the group as she believed that once I could accept what I had lost and could share my story, I would truly be able to begin my healing process.

"Sure." I sighed. "But I still think this is a big waste of time." I mumbled to Natasha, making sure no one else could hear me.

"Wow! That's great!" Keegan exclaimed enthusiastically. Her surprise was evident, both on her face and in her voice. I couldn't blame her. Normally, I would skip the sharing part of Sharing and Caring, deeming it useless because retelling the story wouldn't change anything, it wouldn't bring my wife back. But this week, I decided to share, not for mine or Keegan's benefit, but because of Natasha and her story. Natasha had lost her wife five years ago in a gas station robbery. Her wife wasn't even supposed to be there that night; she was merely buying milk for Natasha because she knew how grumpy Natasha got without her morning coffee. I had seen her without her morning coffee, she was barley human. While waiting in line to pay, a man in a ski mask entered and ordered everyone to the floor. Everything was going as expected until the robber aimed his gun at a young boy in line and demanded he give over his money. For some the boy refused and that is when Natasha's wife intervened. She tried to de-escalate the situation, which, for some unknown reason, enraged the robber. Everything happened so fast, and no one could recall what happened. But somehow the gun the robber was holding went off, accidentally shotting Nataha's wife. This caused him to panic and flee the scene. Natsha's wife died on the phone with Natasha, bleeding on the gas station floor, awaiting paramedics. She died trying to protect a child—for just five dollars.

“You got this. I know you do.” Natasha whispered in my ear, squeezing my hand in a sign of support and encouragement.

I nodded in agreement and took a deep breath. "I lost my wife. It will be a year next February, The16th to be exact. My birthday," I began, my voice just loud enough to be heard, my gaze distant. "Her name was Y/N, and she was the love of my life. No, she was my life." I could hear the quiver in my voice and feel my eyes start to glisten with unshed tears as the memories that I usually tried to keep locked away, came flooding back. My grip on my chair's armrest tightened as I continued. "It was supposed to be our date night. Y/N wanted us to stay home, have a homestyle date because it was raining heavily. But I insisted on going out, you know, to do something special for my birthday." My breathing became shallow as the events of that night flashed through my mind. "We hadn't been driving for long when we came around a sharp bend and saw a stalled car in the middle of the road, its engine dead. By the time I realized what was happening, I didn't have enough time to stop. I slammed on the brakes and swerved, desperately trying to avoid hitting the car." The tension in the room grew as my words spoke with the pain of that fateful night. "We crashed into the siderail on the other side of the road. All I remember before I blacked out is the sound of screeching tires and shattering glass, followed by Y/N’s agonizing screams. I'll never forget those sounds; they will haunt me for the rest of my life." My voice shook, my eyes locked on the ground in front of me, not wanting anyone to see the unshed tears in my eyes. "When I regained consciousness, it was still raining, and there were people standing around. They kept asking if I was okay, telling me to stay still as help was on its way. But all I cared about was finding Y/N. I needed to find her." My hands began to tremble as I got closer to the heartbreaking moment where I lost my wife. "I counted my lucky stars that I was able to find her that night, even with the blood and the rain blurring my vision. I ran to where she lay, broken and dying on the road. I lifted her head into my lap, and she looked up at me with tears in her eyes." My own tears finally escaped, streaking down my cheeks, my voice choked with emotion. "She said, ‘I know I am not going to make it, baby. Can you please hold me until I go?’ And I did. I held her tight, and I kissed her, our last kiss. I knew she was gone, even though I held her close." I chocked back a sob and a heavy silence hung in the room as I finished my story. The pain etched on my face was clear to everyone in that room and they then knew just how deep my grief ran. "I remember waking up in my hospital bed some time later, and it was like my brain still couldn't fully comprehend that Y/N was really gone. I couldn't believe that everything could end in one single moment. One moment, and my whole world had crumbled beneath me. If only I hadn't nagged her. If only I hadn't kept insisting that we go out for our date. Then she would still be alive, and I wouldn't be here recounting the worst day of my life." My shoulders were hunched over, and my head bowed as I came to the end. I still didn't look up. I didn't want anyone to see me cry.

"Thank you for sharing with us, Wanda. We are sorry for your loss, and we are here for you." Keegan told me softly she wiped the tears from her cheeks. “Aren’t we guys?” I could feel the sympathetic gaze of the support group members as they offered their condolences, making me inwardly wince and cringe. I hated it. Fake forced pity is worse than real pity. And I know most of them meant well, but when you are in the thick of healing, nothing else matters. Not even other people in the process of healing. "Does anyone have anything to say to Wanda?" Keegan asked the group and Eliza Beth, a lady known in the Spousal Support Group Community for her strong religious beliefs raised her hand. "Nice of you to volunteer, Eliza Beth. What words of wisdom do you have for Wanda?"

The fake pity I could handle, but the next words that came out religious woman's moth stirred my emotions in all the wrong ways. “I know the Lord was there that night to take your sweet angel to heaven and He will look after her until it is your time to join her!" Eliza Beth declared; her voice full of conviction. As she spoke, she made the sign of the cross, touching her finger to her forehead, then her lower chest, and finally, both her shoulders, one at a time, sealing her words.

My eyes welled with tears, my grief and frustration rose to the surface as I responded, my voice steady but filled with raw emotion. "No, the Lord was not there that night, and if He was, then He was not listening to me beg and plead with Him not to take my Y/N away." My fingers clenched into fists, and I fought to rein in the anger that surged through me. I took a deep breath before deciding that I had enough of support group for one night. I turned in my chair to face Keegan head on. "Thank you for letting me share." I told her sincerely. I then rose from my seat and walked out of the church without looking back, knowing that Natasha would be following close behind. The echoes of the support group's insincere condolences lingered in my ears and my footsteps were heavy with the weight of my loss as I walked through the carpark to Natasha's car. Natasha drove us to Support group because while I could finally handle being inside a car without having a panic attack, I was nowhere close to being ready to be behind the wheel. Not after the last time I drove a car, which resulted in my wife's death.

On the car ride home, Natasha broke the silence with a question that had gnawed at her for years. "Why do you even still go to those things? I mean, I know you hate Spousal Support Group as much as I do, and I stopped going five years ago." Natasha had told me about how she had gone to support group for a month following her wife's death and how she hated it so much that she stopped going.

I sighed as I untied my ponytail and ran my fingers through my auburn brown hair. "You want the truth?" I asked.

Natasha's voice was resolute. "Always."

"The only reason I keep going is the donuts; they are pretty great," I admitted, a faint smile tugging at the corner of her lips. She and Natasha shared a brief, genuine laugh. "No, but really, I go because I know that Y/N wouldn’t want me to be hung up over her death. She would want me to heal and carry on with my life, so I try to do that as best as I can. Which just happens to include going to Spousal Support Group every week until I am better or as close to it as I can get." A calm silence enveloped the car, before I spoke again. “You know, Y/N thought that if she was going to die it was because she was attacked by a wild animal like a moose.”

Natasha, her curiosity piqued, asked, "A moose? That’s pretty random."

My laughter broke through the somber atmosphere. It felt nice to be able to laugh. I hadn't laughed since Y/N died. In saying that, I hadn’t done a lot of things since Y/N died.

"Yeah, Y/N was random like that. She believed it would be a cool way to go."

Well, you know what I think?" Natasha asked as we neared my house, it stopped being home when Y/N died. 

I had been gazing out into the night, but I looked towards Natasha at the sound of her voice. "No, what?"

A small grin played on Natasha's lips. "I think she would be proud of you for trying."

My heart swelled with emotion, and her nerves were replaced by a warm feeling of hope. "You think?" I asked nervously, my tanned hands, scarred from years of working on my family's farm, gripped the armrest.  I didn’t know why I was nervous; I just was.

"Yeah, I do," Natasha affirmed with a nod of her head.

A smile spread across my face, a small but significant step on my healing journey. Not long after I went back to staring out into the night, with my heart still aching with the loss Y/N. but now with an added glimmer of hope. I looked up at the stars and whispered, "I hope she is."

  The End.