#the last close friend i dated i ended up really hurting and it took ages for us to get past that and i don’t want to do that again

[boysmentfs]

My new boyfriend.

Tommy was Olivia's bff, he was always there for her above all things, they considered themselves almost "sisters" since tommy was not a guy like the others, he was a Twink, brown hair, youthful face, 20 years old, very thin, just like a noodle and clearly homosexual.

Olivia was the typical dumb blonde girl, tall, busty, the same age as tommy and popular but despite all this she always had things going wrong in love, she had recently met a fraternity guy named "Jake" But as expected, their relationship didn't last long and they had broken up a few hours ago, so she sent Tommy a message, so he could comfort her like he always does.

"Sis... I have ended my relationship with Jake, I am devastated... He was the most handsome guy in the world, I can't believe it"

"bestie, why do your relationships always take so little time? I mean, you've dated really hot guys... Hehe, I don't understand why they break up with you, you're beautiful, sis"

"I don't know, Tommy.... I would love to have a boyfriend who actually loves me for a long time, who protects me, listens to me and all that stuff, like you do."

"It's a shame I like guys, bff, because if I didn't, you know I'd be with you, but don't worry, you'll get a nice handsome guy with an attitude like mine!"

"I hope it doesn't take too long for that guy to come into my life, hey baddie, thanks for listening to me <3, now I have to go to sleep, sweet dreams! xoxo"

After that last message, olivia went straight to her computer and looked for something on the black market that could help her with her plan, and that's how he found a pair of red shorts, a chain and some earrings, In the description it said that with those things the guy who will use them would become the most handsome and loving guy in the world, so olivia did not hesitate twice and clicked to buy it.

The next day, the package arrived at her house, but I didn't want it to be so obvious, so I took the things out of the box where they were and handed them another one with a wrapper full of teddy bears and hearts, olivia knew that Tommy, seeing this, would not hesitate to open it, so once she closed the box, she sent it to Tommy's house.

A few minutes had passed since Olivia had sent the box to Tommy's house, When the package arrived someone knocked on the door and left, Tommy went directly to the door and opened it, curious to see the package he picked it up from the floor and began to open it, Tommy, seeing what was inside the box, was surprised. He never ordered clothes online, maybe they went to the wrong house, so he closed the box again, waiting for the real owner to claim it.

Once he left the box on the table, he went straight to the shower, when he finished his shower he grabbed his shirt but something was missing... And that was his special pink shorts, he remembered that he had lent them to his best friend so he thought of a solution, so he remembered that in the package they had sent him there were some red shorts so he went for them, once he used them, he would wash them so that the real owner would not suspect.

He grabbed the red shorts and put them on, It was a beautiful warm and sunny day so he decided to watch some TV, while watching TV he started to feel strange and a little hot, Something in his mind told him no try on what was in the box, the chain and the earrings, so he went for them and put them on, once je had them on he went to a mirror and saw himself, he laughed because he looked like one of her friend's boyfriends, but thin and without any muscle. After he saw herself in the mirror, he returned to the couch to continue watching TV.

And without realizing it, his foot began to enlarge as it became fleshier, his toes lengthened as veins sprouted and some hair grew on them, now he had feet of size 15, large masculine, all their delicacy was gone, now they looked like the feet of an jock.

His legs began to hurt, because they began to thicken and muscle began to come out, now his thighs were big while his calves were worthy of a real man, some hair began to grow on them.

The next thing to change was his butt and his bag, His big butt began to shrink to a decent size worthy of an jock, it was big but not as big as before although it was defined a little more, her pouch, which she was proud of since it was small and delicate, began to grow to a size 15 and also thickened while pubic hair came out, it seemed that she never shaved, but that made him look more masculine.

His designer thong also began to undergo changes, it went from being a red thong to becoming blue designer boxers so that his manhood would be highlighted even more along with his toned butt.

His stomach, which was thin, began to hurt as abdominal after abdominal came out in Tommy's stomach, a v began to be marked on the lateral sides while he gained a beautiful pack of 8 very worked abs, his chest began to expand outwards as two large defined pecs bulged out, a tattoo began to appear on a pectoral, his torso began to lengthen as he became more masculine, his back also underwent changes, it went from being feminine and thin, to being masculine and wide, muscle also appeared there, giving him a very manly back and worthy of admiration.

hiss shirt began to tear due to his large muscles, that was where Tommy reacted and was surprised and ran towards the mirror.

"Omg! What happened to me? I am dreaming? "This must be a dream, yes... I must wake up."

But before Tommy slapped himself, his arms began to hurt as they began to stretch and muscle began to come out, his biceps were now the size of a ball, his triceps were well worked, his delicate hands began to thicken while his fingers lengthened can and they started to look calloused due to all the exercise he did at the gym, wait... Exercise? Gym? He didn't exerc- but before Tommy reacted, two tattoos began to appear on his two muscular arms and another tattoo on one of his biceps.

Tommy couldn't anymore, he was about to cry, so he got the idea to call Olivia, but before he could do that, his face started to hurt.

Tommy's face, which was young, delicate and feminine, began to change as his jaw became marked, giving him a more manly appearance, His lips that were too full from being an expert cocksucker became thinner but still looked kissable, his nose became big and cuter, his eyes that were green began to turn brown, his beautiful blonde hair began to recede as it began to turn black, at the end, his hair ended up with a cut that any jock could have, his face had become the most beautiful, any girl who saw him would die to be with him, Tommy looked in the mirror again, looking at his new appearance, he became somewhat horny, without a doubt his new appearance was his ideal type, all the blood flowed into his bag giving him an obvious erection.

Tommy put his hand in his bag and started moving his hand up and down. He started to think about how many cute guys he could fuck... But as he thought about guys his erection faded, His mind began to give him new memories as a new alpha aura took over him. He began to imagine himself fucking girls with big butts and tits. His erection returned, but Tommy knew this wasn't right... He was... Homo... Homosexual?, NO, he was straight and loved raising beautiful girls with his bag, As he continued to raise and lower his hand he couldn't hold back anymore and he came and with that all his memories, personality and Tommy faded away.

"Seriously, Olivia is lucky to have me as a boyfriend, I mean, who wouldn't want someone like me?" Max said to himself as he flexed one of his arms in the mirror.

Tommy was now Max, Olivia's boyfriend, quarterback of the football team, leader of his fraternity, he loved parties, alcohol, exercising and having fun, max hated homosexuals, he said they could never be real men like him and his "bros."

After pulling up his pants he received a message from his girlfriend Olivia, Olivia knew that Tommy at this point had ceased to exist so she wanted to test out her new boyfriend.

"Hi love! I miss you... I would like to have you here with me, I want you to make me yours... come to my house <3"

"Well, today I'm free princess, to hell with today's training, I prefer to be with my beautiful girl, so you don't miss me so much while i arrived at your house, I'll send you a photo of me, princess ;)"

Olivia was happy with her new boyfriend, he was affectionate and listened to her all day, just like she wanted.

[sserajeans]

mine

kim minji x fem! reader

synopsis: you both knew love came with downhills, but neither of you thought it'd get that bad. you made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter, and she's the best thing you could ever call 'mine'.

genre + others: non-idol reader x idol minji, goes over the ups and downs of their relationship, semi angst but fluff end TRUST ME

notes: (TW: implied suicide of minor character) , y/n has been through so much pls give her a break, idk if either of them were toxic, but they work around it bc love >>>, not requested, i was just listening to the album and got an idea that made my soul go WHOOSH hehe, THIS IS A VERY LONG ONE

WORD COUNT: 6.9k

you were in college, working part-time, waiting tables. left a small town, never looked back. i was a flight risk, with a fear of fallin', wondering why we bother with love, if it never lasts.

you and minji were your friend group's favorite couple. almost anyone would agree, actually.

you met in high school when you transferred from a smaller, almost unknown town under a merit scholarship sponsored by the school. you were your family's pride and joy, the eldest daughter and older sister to two siblings. your parents weren't born with the same comfort they provided you and your siblings, or any comfort at all. it took a lot of work for them to get to where they were, and even then they still work day and night to give a life better than theirs for their children.

being born first, you witnessed everything. the blood, sweat, and tears your parents poured into everything; their failed start-up business, their multiple part-time jobs, and the low-paying wages they'd get in return. but above all this, you also saw how your parents did it all for love. love for you, love for their kids, love for the family they made. and so you swore, as an adorable 8-year-old, that you'd work your hardest and earn enough money to get your parents to rest comfortably once they were of age. you were raised in a struggling house, but a loving home. you knew love. you weren't a stranger to it. you loved love and the power it held.

minji, on the other hand, didn't. when you met her in your first year of high school, her parents had just signed divorce papers after her dad caught her mother cheating. she was only 16 at the time, and her parents were her role models of love. to her, they represented what love would, could, and should be. she believed in love, until she grew to hate it. she hated the way it hurt her father, she hated the way it hurt her, but most of all she hated the way it pulled her mother away from her. minji knew love. she wasn't a stranger to it. but she hated love and the power it held.

because of the stark difference you two had with your outlooks on love, it was a shock to everyone when the kim minji agreed to not just being your prom date, but to you courting her during your junior year of high school as well. 

“kim minji is this really you?” her best friend at the time, seol yoona, waved her hand in front of the raven-haired girl’s face. she was trying to finish an essay in english, one of their final requirements for the semester. “what’s different about park y/n?”

minji sighed and closed her notebook, finally facing the rest of her friends who sat crowded around her.

“look. she was nice to me at prom and she’s…” her friends’ eyes widened in anticipation. “cute, i guess.”

“oh come on minji that can’t be just it…”

“yeah you rejected like a quarter of the student population! i’m sure there were a few nice and cute ones!”

“they all…” minji started as she stood up from her desk and began packing her things in her backpack. “i’m just more comfortable with her, okay? we’ve been friends a while, and she’s patient about everything right now because she knows about…”

the rest of the table nodded their heads in understanding. there was no need for her to expound on that. 

meanwhile, in the complete opposite side of the school campus, was where you and your two closest friends ate lunch. under the shade of the courtyard’s largest tree.

"you're fucking playing with me..."

"i'm not! she said yes! she really did!" you exclaimed, mouth full of the school's spam and kimchi kimbap. 

"you better not mess this up y/n... you're like the first person i know of that she's ever said yes to." your other friend commented, playfully shoving your upper arm.

"do you guys not have like... the teeny-tiniest bit of faith in me?" 

they looked at you for a solid minute before nodding and shrugging. jokes aside, you were a selfless and caring person, and every one that has ever gotten to know you was sure of that.

and fair enough, by your first year of college which was also minji's first year as newjeans' leader, after almost 2 years of courting her, you asked her to have things official, and she said yes.

do you remember, we were sitting there by the water? you put your arm around me for the first time. you made a rebel of a careless man’s careful daughter. you are the best thing, that’s ever been mine.

it had been just over a year since you two started officially dating, and nothing much changed since you put a label on it. you were now in your second year of university, simultaneously maintaining a part-time job at a local restaurant. 

it didn’t take an idiot to know that dating an idol was hard. and it also didn’t help that your schedule wasn’t the most flexible either. there were even some days where minji had more time in the week to spend than you did. the both of you hated that, and it frustrated you two to the point where there were times you’d take it out on each other.so when you and minji had your first big argument, it was a shock to none of the peers who knew of your relationship.

you sighed deeply as you unlocked the door to your apartment. it was the middle of midterms week, and you had just finished an evening shift. you didn’t even want to think about studying for your calculus exam tomorrow, but you knew you had to if you wanted to keep your gpa up to the scholarship’s requirements.

“park y/n.” minji’s voice interrupted your brain’s train of thought. you were so busy trying to figure out the most efficient way to spend the rest of the time between the present and your exam. 

usually, minji’s voice calling your name would be warm and sweet. you talked about it to your friends one time, describing it as melted chocolate, and she gagged at how cheesy you were being. but god forbid you speak the truth.

but now, her voice was neither warm nor sweet. it was cold. it was cold and sharp. if you had the time to process it you’d probably describe it as ice shards, rather than melted chocolate.

you hesitated to face her, because you knew exactly why she was here in your apartment at 11pm in the evening instead of her dorms, fast asleep. you couldn't count how many times you cancelled a date last minute within the last month, and minji was tired of you not explaining properly.

you heard her stand up from the living room couch and walk towards you in the dining table. 

“what is it, minji?” you spoke, leaning your forehead against your palm as you brought out school textbooks and worksheets.

“what do you mean ‘what is it, minji’? you know why i’m here, y/n.” 

she wasn’t lying. again, you knew why she was here with you, which is why you dreaded the conversation that was about to come.

“this is the 4th date you’ve cancelled this month without telling me why. if you wanted to break up i’d much rather you tell me directly…” the last sentence felt like a stab to your chest. the cold and sharp dagger that was her words, taking one large hit.

“what the fuck? no, okay! no i don’t!”

“then for the love of god would you at least tell me why you’re being so fucking distant?!” 

you kept silent. eyes avoiding hers as you internally debated on whether you wanted to burden her with your struggles or not.

“see? you can’t even say it.”

“fucking hell. my sister is sick, minji.” 

you let out a shaky exhale as you spoke, finally gathering the courage to face her.

“she has pneumonia. she’s sick. she’s in the hospital. and i-“ you cut yourself off as tears made its way down your face. the cold exterior on minji’s face dropped almost immediately at the sound of your voice breaking. your breathing remained shaky as you tried your best to verbalize everything that has been piling up over the past few weeks.

“medical insurance isn’t enough to cover it. my parents are working endlessly, but they’re getting older and i don’t want them to overwork themselves or they could get sick too, so i asked if i could pick up more shifts at the restaurant because that’s really all i can do right now. it just breaks my heart whenever i visit her because she’s always telling me that she’s sorry for causing trouble when none of it was her fault. and fuck, as if it doesn’t get any worse it’s midterms week, and if i fail just one exam it’s enough to bring my gpa down for the school to drop me.”

you gasped for air.

the girl sat beside you and rubbed your back, reaching over for your water bottle and offering it to you. you muttered a thanks as you gulped down half of the water inside and gave yourself a few seconds to speak again.

“and i know what you’re thinking. ‘why didn’t you tell me? i could’ve helped.’ but minji please. you’re an idol. you’re a celebrity. fuck, you’re the leader of one of the biggest group’s right now. you have enough on your plate. i don’t want to add to that.”

minji nodded to show you she was listening despite not saying anything since you started letting it out.

"let's take a walk." 

you were shocked by the suggestion, and minji could tell. she would be too.

“but won’t people recogn-“

"more air to breathe, more space to think. come on." she got your coat for your and brought your most comfortable pair of shoes over.

you weren't agreeing, but you also weren't objecting the idea. from what could've been a fight to this, you were just glad you had the warm minji with you right now.

she dragged you along by the hand, just a few steps ahead of you. it didn't take too long until you two found yourselves sitting on the park bench facing a small river. it wasn't too far away, just a couple meters from your apartment building.

“can i ask you something, y/n?” there it was. the warmth, the sweetness in her voice. 

she turned to face you. “do i bother you when i tell you about my problems? when i talk to you about how i worry for haerin not opening up, or when i tell you about how hanni might’ve bothered me on a certain day. does that burden you?”

you looked up at her shaking your head, your eyes still red and puffy. 

“w-what? no. never. i like that you let me know. i like knowing you have some type of output for it."

"well if it doesn't burden you then what makes you think you'd burden me?"

you slowly looked away, eyes busy gazing the clear water and the rocks that laid under.

she moved to wrap her right arm over your shoulders, and slowly reached for your left hand to hold if you'd let her. after all, she didn't expect to be comforting you when she planned on seeing you.

"i may be an idol. i may be a celebrity. i may be newjeans' minji a lot of the time. but i'm also your girlfriend, park y/n. the one you met in high school whose life you changed forever the day you asked me to prom." you leaned against her when she pulled you closer as she spoke.

"i stopped believing in love when my parents split. remember when i told you that? but you were there every step of the way. you understood, and you were fine with waiting." minji took a pause to make sure you were still with her, listening. 

your eyes were heavy, but your brain couldn’t be more alive. 

“y/n, i don't want to be the person that makes their partner feel like they can't talk to them. let me be there for you too, okay? i may not be able to do a lot to fix it, but i'll be there because you shouldn't be facing things alone. not when you have me."

you nodded, letting out the last of your tears on her shoulder while she ran her fingers through your hair. 

“so next time, please, please tell me what bothers you.”

you never gave a clear response, just your sobs slowing down as she held you. minji would later on regret not noticing this.

a few minutes later, after you calmed down, you pulled away to finally fix your eyes on hers.

"thank you. and i still owe you an apology. for how i was the past couple of weeks.”

“you really don’t have to y/n.”

“well, you say that now after i told you. but what i did was still such… an ass move, and i should’ve told you what was going on because you deserved to know with the way it affected you too.”

minji gave you a smile. a small smile that held the largest emotions a human could ever feel. she leaned against your side, head on your left shoulder with her arm around your waist.

“it’s okay…”

“i love you.”

three words. eight letters. the first time it was ever said between the two of you. 

on the inside, you were a little shocked. if your relationship was a sports game, no one would bet on minji saying it first. but she did. and that just made those special words mean a little more than they already did.

you wrapped your left arm around her shoulders and rested your head on hers, giving the top of her head a kiss before saying it back.

“i love you too.”

flash forward and we’re taking on the world together. and there’s a drawer of my things at your place.

a couple months later, you felt on top of the world, and so did minji. you found a higher paying stay-at-home job, your sister got better miraculously quick, and your grades were stellar. for minji, newjeans had just released another hit mini album, and it was played everywhere you went. in the store, at the mall, on tiktok, on the radio. everywhere.

eventually, you two found a free spot on both of your schedules, and used it to have sleepovers at your apartment or her dorm. she’d always prefer staying at yours though. one of the few times you stayed at hers, the second you left, hanni and hyein were teasing her endlessly about… well, usual couple stuff.

this night was one of those sleepover nights. the two of you just finished dinner and were cuddling on the sofa, trying to decide on a movie to watch.

“mean girls?”

“didn’t we watch that last week?” minji reasoned out, looking at you with a questioning face.

“uhm… horror?”

“i don’t mind.”

you hummed and browsed through the horror collection your streaming site had. it took you a while to find a movie, you and minji each always had a minor problem with whatever came up.

“oh hey this one looks fun. zom-“

“did i ever tell you the full story of my parents?”

“ha?”

you looked at her with a rather surprised expression on your face. sure, she’s told you all about being a child of divorced parents and how it affected her. but you never bothered to ask more about it in fear of her discomfort.

“well… no. i wanted you to bring things up at your own pace.”

it felt like a silent agreement that maybe you two were going to drop the movie for a little “deep talk” moment.

“my dad went m.i.a., well, sort of did, on my mom.” she began, you sat cross-legged beside her, reaching for her hand to play with while she muttered a quick ‘thanks’. it was your little show of comfort. 

her parents was a subject that you two didn’t bring up very often. she’d mention them once in a while, like when you were preparing a dish that reminded her of her mom’s cooking, or when you came over to help fix hyein’s bike like her dad used to do for her. but it was never in the subject of the divorce. you two always had more to talk about when you were together anyways.

“he lost a lot of the money in their savings, and he’d never talk to my mom about it thinking he could cover it up soon enough. mom was convinced he was cheating and was sending money to another girl. even after my dad explained everything she just… went and did what she did. until he caught her and… well, you know the rest.”

minji was surprisingly calm throughout the whole storytelling. you figured it must’ve been from keeping it in for so long, finally letting the old wounds heal.

“wow…”

“yeah, ‘wow’.”

“i’m sorry, i just…” you paused and grabbed her other hand, holding them both closely within your palms. “do you think if your dad was honest from the beginning things would’ve been different?”

“i-… well…”

“nevermind, sorry that was int-“ you dropped her hands and ran yours through your hair, the other covering your mouth in disbelief.

“no no, it’s okay.” she reached for your hands and they were intertwined once again. “i think things would’ve turned out the same. it probably would’ve just… took a longer time.”

“i guess… since your mom practically ignored your dad after he explained…”

“yup. i believe things happen for a reason.”

“really? i’m 50/50 on that.” you looked up at her with a questioning look.

“well, for one, it led me to you.” she gazed in your eyes, her hands soft and gently cradling yours side to side. you looked at her with amazement. since when was she making the moves with all the cheesy lines?

“okay… so i’m not 50/50… maybe 70/30.” “dork.” “your dork?” “…” “sayyy it…” “…” “you know you wanna…”

“my dork.”

“hehehe…” 

with a victorious grin on your face, you pinched her right cheek, something she both hated and loved. rolling her eyes, she positioned herself to lay her head on your crossed legs while your hands automatically fixed her hair to keep her face clear.

“god you’re so-“

“lovable? i know… it’s crazy.”  

“well…”

“oh, we were serious?”

“yes, seriously, y/n. there are times i think about that night by the river.”

“that night by the river…”

“when i told you i believed in love again, after my parents. because of you.” she opened her eyes and looked up at you like you were a constellation in the night sky. eyes wide and full of wonder.

“i know what you’re talking about, i didn’t forget, don’t worry.” you smiled, tucking a strand of hair that went astray behind her ear.

“when things get hard i think of that night, and how… i don’t know. you know that feeling when something means so much, and it’s so good, feels so right, almost too perfect, you’re just scared it’ll slip away?”

“mmhm. of course. that’s how i felt about this book i was reading. things were going so well at the beginning, like it wa-… continue though.”

“sometimes i’m scared we’ll slip away.”

“what?!”

“i mean like! it’s just a tiny… irrational fear in the back of my head.”

“ell… good thing that won’t happen!”

“how are you always so sure about things?”

i tell my secrets and you figure out why i’m guarded. you say,

“i get why you’re worried, okay? but we’ll never make your parents’ mistakes.”

she sat up straight to give you a proper hug, or, well, she more or less just threw herself on you. not that you were complaining, you loved her bear hugs.

“you and i… we talk things out. we work well that way, right?”

“yeah.”

“i love you. and thank you for letting me love you.”

“i love you too. so so much.”

and we got bills to pay. we got nothing figured out, when it was hard to take, this is what i thought about. 

throughout your relationship, you two came across a couple, or well, several bumps along the road. but it was always something you two had dealt with before. even if it wasn’t, you were beginning to feel comfortable sharing the weight you carried on your shoulders with minji; talking about the usual late night shifts, a terror professor, etc.

communication was one of the last things your relationship with minji lacked.

until one fateful evening, you received a phone call from your brother. one you wished you never had to hear. one no one ever deserved to hear. 

before he spoke, something about it already felt wrong. the combination of muffled sirens, crying from who you surely knew was from your sister, and conversation between who you assumed were adults, was straight eery. a shiver ran down your spine, realizing the nature of the news.

and you were right. 

you could feel your hand shake as he spoke with a stutter,

“noona… it’s about… about d-dad… h-he… he… did it to hims-himself… he-he w-went out… and to-told us not to follow. a-and, and then we- we heard… we heard a r-really… r-really loud noise… n-noona… wh-when… when are you coming b-back?”

what?

who?

how?

your father. he shot himself in your neighborhood’s park.

and you’ve yet to understand why. why he’d choose to abandon his family. why he suddenly switched from the hardworking man who’d endure hell for his family, to a man who chose to escape his troubles.

after consoling your brother and the rest of your family on the phone, you packed your bags and took a taxi the next day. heading straight back to your hometown, a much smaller and rural area compared to the skyscraping city of seoul. 

you ran straight to your parents’ room as soon as you arrived, your bags dropped and forgotten by the conjoined living room and kitchen. there was no time to reminisce the warmth, comfort, and love that came with the childhood home you haven’t seen in years. 

as soon as you stepped foot in your parents’ room, your younger sister, who was much taller than the last time you saw her, ran straight into your arms, almost knocking you over. it didn’t take long for your younger brother to follow, his added weight finally pushing you to fall butt first to the fortunately, carpeted floor.

you rubbed their backs as soothingly as you possibly could while they started dampening your shirt with tears. in a way, having them in your embrace comforted you the same way you comforted them. you shed your own fair share of tears, hugging them even tighter when they’d take deep breaths and wail.

you also needed to process whatever the hell just happened.

a few minutes later, once your siblings had calmed down, you slowly stood up from the floor and approached your mother who was sorting out papers on what used to be your parents’ shared bed. the mattress dipped as you sat beside her. you wrapped your arms around her frame, giving her a warm hug. 

her pain was silent, and you wished it wasn’t so you’d at least know she had an output, but at the same time, you both knew she held it together for your siblings’ sake. she gave your forehead a kiss and ruffled your hair, muttering a soft “you’ve been eating well.” 

she was just happy to see her baby home.

the next couple of days were dull and grey. it was the only word you could use to describe it. your mother would head out to deal with government papers, your siblings stayed at home with modular work as permitted by the school after what had happened, and you picked up a small full-time job at a bakery as a cashier.

in a private conversation with your mother, late at night when your siblings were fast asleep, she explained to you the law of debt and inheritance in simple terms. it was difficult, but most definitely much needed for you to at least grasp understanding on why your father did what he did. 

“i know what your first thoughts were going to be. and he wasn’t being a selfish person, y/n. he never was and he never will be. in this province specifically, debt isn’t passed down to your heirs. your father… he… he borrowed a lot of money, y/n. and we thought we could pay it back over the agreed 3 years. it was taking longer than expected, and they began looking for your dad with threats that… i’d rather not share with you.”

“wait what? what about the money i’ve been sending? did it help? did you use it?”

“of course we did, y/n. we don’t want your hard work going to waste. we used it for yoonseo and junseo’s tuition. there was an increase that wasn’t in our… scope.”

“fucking school…”

“hey… listen. do you understand things a little better now?”

“…yes.”

“repeat to me what you understand.”

“dad… didn’t want them coming after me… us.”

“yes.”

“i… i don’t understand how you’re so… calm about it right now, ma. did you know? did he tell you he would?”

“he didn’t. we fought about it, actually. i couldn’t believe all that… nonsense he was saying.”

“oh… i’m sorry. i’m sorry i thought he-“

“it’s okay, y/n. and i know you. i know you, yoonseo, and junseo. it’s okay to not be okay right now. i want you to feel that. let it out. cry, scream, take a walk, do anything. let the pain pass through. i’ll be here to make sure you’ll be alright.”

“but we want to be here for you too ma…”

“you will be there for me when you feel better. but right now, you’re my children, and i’m your mom. i want to make sure you’re okay first.”

and for the rest of the night, you silently wept against your mother’s shoulder as she held you tight against her chest, the same way she did the day you were born. you were always your mother's child at the end of the day.

since the day you left til that night, your focus was on yourself and your family. comforting your siblings when your mom couldn’t, helping around the house, and searching for more jobs dirt-paying jobs you could take, for you didn’t care as long as it’d help fill the gap your father left.

your focus was solely on the grief held over yourself and your family, that somehow, you had completely forgotten about your life in the city.

the life with kim minji in it.

on her side of the world, minji was struggling. newjeans was still a popular and well-received group with global success, but their growth was exceeding expectations, and that meant that the hate wave had only gotten stronger.

as their leader, minji was the supporting pillar, the foundation of sanity for the rest of the girls. when one of them had the need to cry or rant, they’d go to her, and she’d hold that responsibility willingly out of love and care for them.

but newjeans’ leader minji, is human. 

newjeans’ leader minji, is kim minji. 

a 20-year-old girl facing the world’s backlash and carrying the weight of her members’ hurt alongside her own on her back.

she wasn’t meant to deal with all of that alone.

where was kim minji’s supporting pillar? where was her foundation of sanity? 

where were you?

where were you when she needed you the most?

and i remember that fight, 2:30 am, ‘cause everything was slipping right out of our hands. i ran out, crying, and you followed me out into the street. 

things have calmed down a bit. you and your family decided it was best for you to go back to the city as it was where you’d earn the most for your work. you hated saying goodbye to them, especially at a time where it was best where you were all together. but you and your family didn’t have the luxury of choice. you and your family couldn’t afford to lose the opportunity.

on the 2-hour long taxi ride home, you finally decided to charge your phone. you hadn’t realized how you completely deserted it the moment you arrived at your childhood home. leaving it on the car seat, you decided to take a nap to get rid of the headache that was building up. whether it was from the anxiety of being away from your family after what happened, or the pressure of having your family’s financial support come mostly from you, you needed an escape, even if it was just for 2 hours.

you weren’t sure how or what you felt. you knew most would be sad. grief-struck and lost. and you did feel that in a way, when your family held a small ceremony at the memorial center because it was all you could afford. it was just you, your mom, your siblings, and a few neighbors who knew your parents.

that was the hardest you ever let yourself mourn, the loudest you ever let yourself cry, and after that, you felt empty. your chest and your stomach ached, but there was nothing else to feel. your head, on the other hand, felt heavy. like it was rammed against a cement wall and forced to carry the weight of hardbound books. 

the moment you picked yourself up from your wallowing in sorrow, the weight of responsibility crashed into you all at once. like being thrown anvils to carry on your back, every step you took wherever you went. your father wasn’t just one of your family’s sources of income, he also stood as a figure of support for your siblings and your mom while you were away. you were angry at him for leaving you, but you beat yourself around into understanding that it wasn’t an escape.

it was about 2am by the time you arrived at the small apartment complex. an inconvenient decision that may have seemed senseless, but before you insisted in spending as much time as you could with your family before you were required to report to work the next day.

and so here you were, backpack in hand, unlocking the door to your apartment late at night.

seeing the living room and kitchen lights on alarmed you. you were sure you turned everything off before you left. your electricity bills were going to be horrendous that month.

you settle your bag down on the floor and bent over to untie your shoes.

“oh… you decided to come back?”

that voice.

kim minji.

hearing her voice again felt fresh. but it felt fresh for only one reason.

you ignored her the whole time you were away. you didn’t tell anyone anything, not even you friends in the city.

minji’s tone was firm. it wasn’t sharp and cold like the time she came over to confront you about missing your dates.

it was firm, but it was also vulnerable. the night she confronted you her voice lacked all the emotion in the world. tonight, it was full of it. you couldn’t tell if she was worried, angry, disappointed, sad, maybe everything and in between.

“where were you?”

there it was. the burning question of the night. 

unlike last time, minji didn’t bother approaching you. she stayed seated on the living room couch, her head turned to face you at the front door.

“minji, listen. i-“ you walked towards her, approaching the living room couch with caution from what you could pick up in her voice.

“y/n i was in pain… did you know that? the past few weeks have been horrible… and before i can even begin to talk about why, i have to worry about whether you were even alive or not!”

“i’m sorry! okay, i’m sorry!”

you were defensive, and it came out like you were throwing around apologies for a band-aid solution, when that really wasn’t the case. you just didn’t have it in your heart to tell her what happened.

“we had to cancel 2 fansigns because of threats we were getting, did you even know that, y/n?”

no, you didn’t. you weren’t aware of how far your girlfriend’s career had gone for the group to be receiving that kind of treatment. even before your dad passed.

“…no.”

“and that’s just… the tip of the fucking iceberg… so i ran here thinking i’d find you. because, y/n, i know for a fact you’re my safe place. but you weren’t even fucking there…”

“i’m sorry…” you muttered, your hands clasped together as you stood in front of her.

“you weren’t answering calls, you weren’t responding to texts. from me or any of the girls! i asked my manager to get in contact with your coworkers! fuck, i even asked some of our high school friends… but none of them knew where you were! do you know how sick my stomach felt?” she looked up at you with tears in her eyes. one of the few times you’ve ever seen her cry, and somehow, it always had something to do with you.

it made you feel sick.

“i’m so sorry…”

“and before you fucking arrived, for a moment i really thought you were going to just leave everything like my dad.”

after all the pain she’s shared with you?

“minji i-“

“but a part of me knew, or wanted to know you’d never do that. like you said, ‘we’d never make my parents’ mistakes’. but in that moment it felt like you did. like we did.”

“i’m sorry… i wasn’t thinking…”

“i think we need a fucking break y/n.”

she stood up.

what?

“w-what? minji what do you mean w-why a-“

“this isn’t the first time you just disappeared on me, don’t you get it? the first time it happened i had to confront you because otherwise you’d just let it slide and it’d probably happen again within the next few months.”

she walked to the dining room, away from the living room. it was closer to the apartment entrance.

“that’s not true.”

“when i told you about my parents, it was because i thought i had finally found something different with you.”

“and we did! we are! we’re not like them…”

she stood by the door, hand on the knob.

“you keep disappearing on me, y/n. i don’t know what to believe anymore.”

and just like that, she dropped the spare keys to your apartment on your kitchen counter, and left your apartment unit. 

you knew better than to let her go. you knew better to let the love of your life go. you knew better than to let her, a celebrity, run out in the middle of the night, with no security, and god knows who or what out in the streets of the area you stayed in.

braced myself for the goodbye, ‘cause that’s all i’ve ever known. 

for minji, she had no idea what she was doing, but she knew couldn’t take another second in your damned apartment. the apartment she stayed in the weeks she was waiting for you to come back. it reminded her of the times she felt like her mom, desperately waiting for her dad to come back to her. it reminded her of how she felt like her dad during the first month of the divorce, and how he kept his hopes high telling her and her brother that things would get better because their mom would always come back, when she didn’t. she hated that apartment because it reminded her of why she hated love. why she stopped believing in love.

she hated that apartment because it was yours, and you showed her how to believe in love again, and you made her believe you two would be different. 

if that was so, then why did you leave her feeling like things were going to end the same way her parents did?

she couldn’t take it anymore. how could she fully commit to someone who’d leave her out of the loop. someone who can’t at least try to share part of their world with her. someone who, after seeing all the sides and versions of her, could still get up and leave without a word.

you cursed under your breath for minji being so long-legged. it didn’t take long for her to get to your apartment building’s lobby, but timing was by your side. for once, it felt like maybe the world wasn’t against you.

the scene was cinematic. you grabbed her wrist from behind her, and pulled her by the arm, back towards you. back to you where you knew she belonged.

“i’m sorry, and i promise i’ll tell you everything. and i know i left with no warning, no sign. i know that it was best to tell you. but i promise i wouldn’t have done it if it wasn’t something as serious as that.”

you gently reached over to hold her other hand in yours. hopefully it was enough to not have her run away again.

“i don’t know how many sorry’s i have left in me, but whatever that amount is, i know, won’t be enough. but please, minji, i’m begging you now, please don’t leave. i know it’s been hard, it’s been difficult for me too. fuck, it’s been hell the past few weeks and not a single second of it has felt real, but i need you. i need you to stay.”

you took a deep inhale. you hadn’t realized you weren’t breathing throughout your mini speech. 

“because right now it feels like i’ve lost everything, and i can’t take it if i lost you. and i know… i know, i sound like a guilt-tripping asshole right now but that’s really... you mean a lot. you mean so much… you mean so fucking much to me, minji, and i know that’s not what you felt when i disappeared, but it’s the truth, and i-“

your legs gave in. you were exhausted, but you weren’t going to stop until you knew she’d stay.

you knelt on the floor, in front of her, holding her hands above your head.

god, you looked so ridiculously desperate. but you didn’t care. not an inch of your body felt a bit of shame. you knew minji was worth everything you had.

“i love you. i love you. i love you so much. and i don’t know how else to say this without sounding like a fucking asshole, but i know you love me too, and i just need you to hear me out, before you decide to leave. and if you still want to go after, then i-. i wouldn’t blame you, and i’d let you, but please… please.” you whispered out the last of your words, your sobs echoing through the empty, dim-lit lobby.

she’d never seen you like this before. 

not once in the several years of being your friend or your girlfriend.

and you were right, she loved you so much. just as much as you did her.

and that was enough for her to listen.

“get up.” she spoke so softly, you could’ve missed it if you weren’t listening for any response.

you scrambled, shuffled onto your feet, and finally came face-to-face with the girl you loved.

it took everything in you to not hold her, kiss her, and comfort her, when you knew you were the cause of her pain and suffering.

but if god made angels roam earth, you were convinced minji was one of them.

she almost catapulted towards you, causing you to stumble backwards until your back met a wall. your arms automatically wrapped around her waist, like it was second nature, or maybe because it was.

you heard her sobs, and you ran your fingers through her hair like she’d do for you. rub her back comfortingly like when you held your siblings in your arms, her tears dampening your clothes the same way theirs did.

you let her be, and waited patiently until she decided to speak. her face rested against your shoulder so her voice was slightly muffled, 

“i thought you’d leave.”

you felt your chest tighten in guilt.

“i thought i did something wrong, or that you were tired of me. tired of dating someone with a job like mine, packed up, and left.”

then, you took me by surprise. you said,

“i’m sorry i made you feel that way.”

you kissed the top of her head and rested your cheek against it.

“never again. i promise, and i say it out loud this time.  i’ll never leave you alone.”

[alexsoenomel]

Take Me Back To Eden (Joel Miller x f!Reader smut/fluff/angst?)

Summary: “Let me know if you ever come back to Austin,” – was the last thing he told you, and after losing your parents in a car accident you did just that.

Pairing: Joel x f!Reader

Warnings: oh boy here we go: 18+ MINORS DNI, big ol' age gap (Reader is 27 andJoel is 50), mentions of death, grief, if you squint reader has ADHD, unhappy relationship, oral female and male receiving, dick in vagina and all that jazz, pet names like darlin' and baby and I think that's all...

Word count: 9.3k

Note: So, I was sad and had a really hard time coping with life during my exams. So instead of going outside or studying I created this.

Song: Take Me Back to Eden by Sleep Token

Like/ reblog or both if you like it :)

Everything was going in your favor. You graduated from Austin Community College with honors, found a job as an assistant in a law firm, and had a man by your side – everything by the book. You were renting a small loft in The Big Apple, planning your future – you were enjoying life. 

It wasn’t until you got a call from an unknown number. It wasn’t until you answered with a hallo that your life flipped upside down. Your parents – your support, your guardians – got into a fatal car accident when a reckless driver crashed into them, and your dad lost control of the wheel. The car ended up crashing into a tree and both of them died in a matter of minutes. Someone stopped the time that day. Nothing seemed to be real anymore. You were in haze and not the purple one.  It was the weekend, Saturday or Sunday, you had no clue, you only knew it was the day both you and your boyfriend were off; sitting in the comfort of your home having a Lord of the Rings marathon. The scream you let out that day, you didn't remember – your boyfriend did and he thought it was gut-wrenching. The immense grief taking over your body that day took a toll on your body. Your heart was hurting, your head was pulsating and your stomach was starving but your mouth refused to accept food. 

Your boyfriend tried to be there for you, to talk to you, even though no words could subside the loss you felt, he tried to hug you, but you refused to be touched and so two days after you got the devastating news, your relationship fell apart. You were fighting too much. He seemed deaf; you were trying to tell him that you needed solitude and he seemed to be wearing headphones. 

On the third day, he packed his bags and on the fourth he left to stay with a friend. He kissed you on the forehead and told you; you were going to work this out, but you knew it was over. It wasn't like the love you read in the books; it was boring and uneventful. You felt like something was missing. Boy meets girl, they date, fall in love, start living together and then marry. When you found the damn ring in his underwear drawer your heart sank – you knew you weren't ready for that; you didn't want that. The loss made you snap and you ended it.

You were left in an empty space, lying on the bed, trying to see the point of this life you lived. You didn't see it that day.

On the fifth day, you finally got the strength to book a one-way ticket to Austin. Your aunt from your dad's side called you to discuss funeral arrangements and your heart sank even lower thinking about burying both of your parents. This all seemed like a fever dream.

On the sixth day, you packed everything you could in one suitcase and left New York. You decided to take some time off aka got fired, since you didn't bother to show up for work, and grieve. The good thing was you had some savings in your bank account since you and now ex were talking about buying a home – or at least he was.

Thank God that ain't happening. 

You thought and closed the door, heading to the airport. 

***

You haven't been back home ever since you graduated college five years ago. Your parents would always come to New York since they both loved the city and as your mom used to say Christmas in New York City was always a fairytale.

Austin was a lot different than New York City– hot and humid, quieter, and not so chaotic. Your aunt was waiting for you at the airport with open arms and for the first time in six days, you felt like you needed it. You accepted her warm hug and as soon as you placed your chin on her shoulder you cried and cried and cried…

"It's okay. Let it out." You heard her say as she tried to squeeze the pain away with a tight hug. 

***

The funeral was painful. Your parents were good, hard-working people, loved by many so a lot of people came to pay their respects. You shook hands with people and listen to the same two sentences over and over again wanting to jump out of your skin:

I'm so sorry for your loss.

My condolences. 

Your parents were supposed to be here. It was too early. 

Tears just kept coming and thank God your aunt gave you a big pair of black sunglasses to hide your swollen face. 

"Your folks were good people," you heard a man say as he shook your hand. By the accent you knew he was a local. And by the sound of his voice you knew you knew him.

You looked up to see a familiar face. Joel Miller – the man across the street from the house you grew up in.

Your voice was mute as you shook his hand, not being able to look at him anymore.

****

After they were laid to rest it hit you; you couldn't just rot away in your own grief, instead you had to try and live your "new normal" – whatever that meant. You told your family you needed some alone time. Your uncle offered to stay with you in the house but you declined, saying you needed to grieve in private. 

"But I don't want you alone in that house," he told you. That man was always so sweet and caring. Since he didn't have kids of his own; you were the daughter he never had. 

Mom has a great big brother.

"You remember when that boy broke up with me when I was 16 sayin' he's too embarrassed to go outside with me?" You asked him, wiping your tears from your right cheek. "And I didn't leave my room for two days?"

"I remember that bastard," he said, almost angrily. 

"I'll be okay. I need some time alone."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure," you said and kissed his cheek. "I'll call you if I need company, okay?"

"Okay."

***

The house felt hollow and eerie as soon as you turned the key and stepped in. The air wasn't stale yet and the TV was off which was a rarity since your dad loved watching the news, while your mom loved sitting next to him reading a good romance novel. The house was spotless, with no dust in sight, since your mom enjoyed cleaning and listening to music every weekend. She loved the smell of a clean and polished home. You couldn't bring yourself to go to their room, a lump in your throat formed when you stood in front of their bedroom door. 

You grew up in that house, you had many memories engraved in the walls and wooden furniture there. Your heart would ache every time you would see a small scratch or a stain on your walls.  Those were all the memories of your happy and innocent childhood the house kept and refused to let go of. From food stains to scratches from tossing toys whenever you had a temper tantrum…Your father refused to repaint the house, saying even though you were at times an insufferable kid, those years were the best years of his life. You haven't set foot in that house for five years but it was still a place you would call home. Family photos all over the walls, cherished moments captured with your dad's camera throughout the years…your home.

The first day in that house you spend on the couch watching a movie on dad's TV. Your fingers felt heavy as you pressed the button on the remote. There was a blanket right next to you; your mom's blue blanket she would use to cover herself on a cold winter's day while getting lost in her book. Even though it was June and burning hot; your body was cold. Your soul was too sad to warm you up; you had to use your mom's blanket. It still smelled like her; a mixture of lavender – her favorite detergent and vanilla – her favorite perfume. Inhaling that smell was almost painful but it brought a wave of comfort. She was still in the house. 

You didn't eat that day after the funeral; instead, you fell asleep with the TV on. 

The second day seemed a lot better. You went to buy some groceries, made yourself a nice breakfast of sunny side-up eggs and bacon, and went to see the state of your backyard. It was freshly cut and green like always. Your dad liked taking care of the yard and making sure the grass was evenly cut and watered. 

I miss you. 

It wasn't until lunchtime that you started crying again when you glanced at the picture on your living room wall of your parents smiling with birthday caps on having a toast with Joel. You remembered that picture because you took it. It was your dad's birthday and he decided to have a BBQ in his beloved backyard. 

You were sitting on the floor, looking at the picture in your hands as a sharp pain went through your chest, tears falling uncontrollably.

Why them?

Only when you noticed how grumpy and ridiculous Joel looked with his cap on a small chuckle escaped your lips.

Joel Miller.

Your favorite neighbor and guitar teacher during your college days. Every weekend you would look forward to spending some time with Mr. Miller while learning the magic of an acoustic guitar. It had been your dream to learn how to play and since your dad loved you with all his heart, he wanted to make that happen for you, so he asked Joel. Joel enjoyed teaching you, especially since you knew a lot about "old people's music" as he would call it.

Soon after you saved up and bought your very first acoustic guitar and started practicing almost every day after classes.

Once you moved to New York, you stopped playing. That city tended to either inspire or destroy someone's creativity and in your case, it completely killed the love you had for playing. Once you started working the guitar only collected dust in your little loft. You didn't have an answer why it just did…

******

Five years ago.

"Why New York?" He asked you after you finished your last guitar session. Well, it wasn't a guitar lesson, since you now knew how to play, you spent that day practicing Smoke on the Water by Deep Purple on his porch.

"I don't like living here."

"Why?" 

"Too hot and too many conservatives."

Joel chuckled at your comment. "I agree with ya on that one darlin' but why New York City?" 

"I always wanted to go there. Never got a chance," you blushed, giving him a short answer.

Darlin' – you always loved when he called you that.

“Are you plannin' on comin’ back?”

“Hmmm, not really.” If only you knew…

"Well, let me know if you do come back. We can catch up and play together again."

"Will do, Joel."

He was dreamy. A man of few words and ridiculously handsome. Your little crush –Joel Miller the guitar teacher.

****

Your eyes were puffy and red from crying. You didn't even realize you were hugging the framed picture like your life depended on it. 

Numb. Numb was the feeling. 

This is not fair.

***

The next day you remembered what Joel told you – to let him know when you're back. He saw you at the funeral but it wasn't the appropriate time to catch up obviously. 

It was the first time since you landed you had three meals. For breakfast, a sandwich, for lunch noodles and you were about to have ice cream for dinner because you were craving something cold on a hot summer evening. You were doing somewhat okay, you cried once, under the shower that you used the first time on that particular day. As you were eating ice cream, Joel's words lingered in your mind again.

As much as you loved solitude, you were starting to crave company again. Your own thoughts were starting to suffocate you. 

Your family was great, on both sides, but you knew they would only feel sorry for you and tried their best to make you feel better; which wasn't possible. You just wanted to talk to someone and maybe have a drink or two.

You picked up your phone only to see 10 unread messages and 5 missed calls from your ex. You didn't even bother to open the texts, instead, you found Joel's number under the name Mr.Handsome and started typing…

Hey, I know it’s been like 5 years but you told me to let you know if I ever come back to Austin. The circumstances are shit but I figured to let you know I’ll be here for a while. And thank you for coming to the funeral, Joel. 

After a minute your screen lit up.

Your folks were great people like I told you. How you holdin up?

Better than few days ago. I took a shower today. Yay!

That's somethin. I figured you wanted to be alone after the I'm sorrys and condolences. 

You both dealt with your shit in private. He knew that since your dad would always tell him how you didn't want to talk to him every time you were dealing with something. Joel would just tell him to leave you be, since he was also the same and his daughter Sarah was just like him but only less intimidating.

Do you wanna come over to catch up? Human interaction seems nice today and I have alcohol.

For some odd reason, you felt a strange sensation in the bottom of your stomach. Nervousness? Why? 

I'm still at work. I can come after 10? 

Sure. You in the mood for whiskey after work? My father has a nice bottle he refused to open. 

Always in the mood for whiskey.

Perfect. See ya later!

He came at around 10:30 pm. When you opened the door you were greeted by a tall man in a green flannel, with soft brown eyes looking at you. Mr. Handsome. Your heart started racing but you ignored it.

"Hey!" You said and let him in. "Long time no see!"

"Long time no see!" 

Once he stepped into the light of your living room, you noticed his hair filled with even more grays than you remembered five years ago.

You wondered if it was once black like charcoal. His beard was also lighter and grayer.

He was still handsome, maybe even too handsome now. 

You went to the kitchen to get your dad’s prized possession, it was still sitting in the same spot in the pantry on the top shelf, collecting dust. Hillrock Solera Aged Bourbon Whiskey – a mouthful.

“How do you take your poison?” You asked as you put two glasses on the kitchen counter. Joel sat right in front of you. 

“Neat.” He said. 

His was neat and yours was with rocks. You made a toast in silence and took your first sips. It was strong but smooth and tasted like it took a small fortune out of your dad's wallet. It burned your throat but in a way no drink has ever done – it was a pleasant rich burn. 

“Why he didn’t wanna open it? It’s a good fuckin’ whiskey.” Joel asked you looking at the liquid gold. 

“He wanted to open it on my wedding day.”

“I’m guessin’ there’s no wedding.” 

“Not a fuckin’ chance.” You laughed. “I never told him I don’t wanna get married.” 

You were craving interaction but didn’t know what to say, what to add. The silence in the air was pleasant, felt like a warm hug in his presence. He was enjoying it just as much. 

“So Joel…” – you said finally – “What happened in your life during these past five years?” 

He finished his first glass and you immediately poured another one. 

“Same ol’ same ol’. Still working as a contractor.”

“How’s Sarah?” 

“All grown up in college. Studying agriculture in Nebraska.” 

You remembered his daughter fondly. She loved to hang out with your family. Your cousins would always tell you how pretty and smart she was. She was like family. 

“They grow up so fast, I swear.” You said taking another sip. 

***

The night was passing by quicker than you expected. Time wasn’t suffocating you and for a few hours, life seemed normal. Joel told you about his bar adventures and how he managed to get kicked out of multiple bars in the last year alone because of his short fuse. 

“You don’t seem like the violent type though.”

“Oh trust me darlin’ I can be when a fuckin’ moron tries to start an argument over stupid shit.”

Darlin’

You haven’t heard that one in a long time. He turned back time for a few seconds, as old butterflies started creeping into your stomach. 

After two glasses you started feeling tipsy so you decided to continue your drinking endeavors in the living room on the couch. Joel was sitting right next to you watching you as you poured your third glass. “How’s your love life?” You asked, not thinking this one through. Joel's eyebrows frowned as he gave you a half smile.

“Doesn’t exist.”

He never liked talking about his love life and past relationships, hell, you have never seen him with a woman next to him holding her hand. It was hard to picture him with someone since he was always just Joel. After Sarah’s mom he never fully recovered – or that was what you thought. Your speculations were always off when it came to people but you liked to think he never truly had gotten over Sarah’s mom. 

Now you were sitting there, cheeks burning, alcohol running through you as you wanted to hear one question: “What about you?”

A drunken man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts, but your words were too shy to come out. You wanted to let him know you were single, a desire buried so deep you forgot you had it. 

“What about you?” He asked. YES!

“I broke up with my ex when I got the news.” You confessed. “ Their death just pulled the inevitable trigger, I guess.” 

 “Even though that sounds kinda poetic, why was there a trigger in the first place?”

You swallowed nervously before taking another sip of whiskey. You never said those words out loud, you never dared to admit to yourself what was happening behind closed doors. You wanted to do everything by the book; make your parents proud; only to suffer in silence as a result.

“I wasn’t happy.” You felt a sense of freedom saying those words. Freedom, freedom, freedom…

Joel gave you a look of understanding, his soft eyes fixed on yours, sharing this intimate moment with you. 

“If you ain’t happy then what’s the point?” 

“Exactly, and I was stupid enough to think it mattered to my parents even though they never pressured me into”– you raised your two fingers to make quotation marks – “doing everything by the book.” 

“What you mean…marriage?” 

“Yeah, and this law degree I have, this job back in New York which I don't have anymore…I don't want that.” You confessed, putting your soul back together. Verbalizing it was validating and therapeutic. Joel just sat in silence and listened carefully knowing exactly what you were talking about. He was in the same boat once, lost and stuck in one place right before Sarah was born. He realized he needed to get his shit together – for her and his family. 

“What do you wanna do?” He asked genuinely curious. 

“I wanna play again and make music.” 

He wasn’t expecting that kind of answer. He always thought playing guitar was a hobby of yours nothing else. 

“I wanna paint, write and just…create.” You added.

“Old artistic soul you are.” He smiled, remembering the good days; your lessons. He thought you were gifted – a rock star – but you refused to believe it. When you learned the basics of the guitar you started experimenting, playing with melodies, and writing songs. Joel would play them. He liked your songs. 

 “I can tell you darlin’ one thing I know is your parents were proud of you and no matter what you do now they will be proud.” 

Your eyes started watering, but you refused to let the tears roll down your cheeks. You chugged the rest of your whiskey down like water. 

“I just wish they were here.” You leaned in, resting your head against Joel’s shoulder. He smelled like pine trees and something you couldn’t put a finger on it – something that made Joel, Joel. It had a calming effect on you.

“I know. I miss them too.” He said. Joel did miss them. They were his favorite neighbors, not forcefully kind or pretentious Bible folks – just normal kind of people. He loved spending time with your dad playing poker now and then and he certainly adored your mom’s signature pecan pie.

Alcohol was running through your veins as the sound of the clock was echoing throughout the house. 

“What time is it?” Joel asked you. 

“Mmmm, almost 1.” You slurred your words looking at your phone. 

“Do you want me to stay or are you okay sleepin’ here by yourself?” 

“You workin’ tomorrow?” You completely forgot it was Thursday. 

“Sadly. Have to get up at 7.” 

“Can you stay here for the night? I can take the couch, you go to my room. I can’t sleep there.” 

Joel placed a light kiss on your head and you were too intoxicated to notice it. Seeing you grieve the loss of your parents had a strange effect on him. It was almost like he could feel your pain, the same agonizing pain in his heart. “I will take the sofa.” 

He stood up leaving you starved for his touch and scent. You were drifting away when he pulled you back into reality. 

“Your back will hate you tomorrow though.” You said and wrapped yourself in your mother’s blanket. Joel pulled out the seat of the sofa making it into a small bed. 

“Or not.” You added when you realized someone finally fixed the pull-out sleeper chair you broke right before you left. 

“I fixed it for your old man a few weeks ago.” He said, adjusting the pillow before he laid down. He let out a sigh, feeling his body relax. “It’s brand new now.” 

No wonder your parents loved Joel so much. His exterior was tough, but under all the layers there was a heart made of gold. Even a simple thing like fixing the damn chair made your eyes tear up. 

“Thank you for fixing it for my dad, Joel.” 

“Your welcome darlin’” 

And with that you both drifted to sleep, leaving the whiskey bottle half empty. 

***

You woke up at around 8 am to an empty house and a pleasant smell in your nostrils. Your head was pounding, your mouth was dry as a dessert and you couldn’t sleep. You checked your phone only to see a text from Joel. 

I made you breakfast. Eggs and waffles since you only had that in the fridge. I figured you’d be too hungover to do anything, so EAT! 

He was right. You were indeed too hungover to do anything. 

On the kitchen counter, there was a plate waiting for you and a glass of orange juice. 

Thank you, my favorite guitar teacher :) 

You answered before your brain could complete your thought. 

And thank you for coming last night. I hope I didn’t suffocate you.

One thing you learned over the years was – people don’t give a shit. In the end, your problems are your own and no one else’s. He didn’t answer. Once you dove into your scrambled eggs you heard a bing. 

Darlin if you think this is a one time thing you’re mistaken. 

Again with the darlin’. Your heart started pumping faster as you stuffed your face with eggs. 

As you were thinking about how to answer, another message popped up. 

I told you to let me know when you’re back so we can catch up and play again. 

Another message. 

Well we missed the playing part last night.

He still remembered his own words from five years ago. You wanted to get back into playing, but by now you were rusty; you hadn’t touched your guitar in so long that you forgot how to hold it. 

You’d be disappointed. I haven’t played in ages, plus my guitar is back in New York. 

Darlin playin guitar is just like drivin a car. You aint forgetting that. You just have to remind your fingers how to move. 

You chuckled. His words made sense. Another message popped up in a matter of seconds. 

You can play my electric one. 

He never told you he had an electric guitar. He would always play the acoustic versions of his favorite rock songs. You decided why not. 

Okay, that’s goin’ to be a mess. I’m down. 

***

The rest of the day you spent in anticipation and nervousness. You tried to occupy your mind by doing simple tasks like going to the store, making lunch, and rummaging through your stuff in your room. You finally got the courage to go in, to see old family photos all over the room and old trophies and diplomas. You were an overachiever, a gifted kid your dad would call you, straight A student, a painter, a writer, and a spelling bee champion. Too bad once puberty knocked at your door that gifted kid became insecure, lost, and consumed with sadness. Once a gifted kid, now a miserable adult. You thought living by the book would make you happier, but it only made you hate life even more. 

You found your memory box under your bed and spent the majority of the day looking at old concert tickets, letters, and little Polaroids of old friends. You were too hyper-fixated on going down the memory lane; you didn't cry. The nostalgia this box brought  made your heart warm. Your room was a memory portal, pleasant and nostalgic, and you decided to take a nap in it. When your head hit the cold pillow your whole body sank into the mattress, and you drifted peacefully, with no thoughts in your mind and sorrow in your soul.

You woke up at around 7 pm. Someone was knocking on your door.

"Hey." You greeted Joel with a yawn, still not feeling 100% awake. You noticed his hair was slick back and wet, and he was wearing his signature jeans and a blue t-shirt. He probably took a shower back home. You swallowed the remaining spit in your mouth as you admired his looks. That man only looked better with age.

 In his hands, there were two guitars, his signature acoustic one and a baby blue Fender Stratocaster in the other. 

"Hey." 

Immediately he put the guitars on the couch and went straight into his backpack trying to find something. 

"There it is." He said and pulled out a small amplifier. 

"Joel, this guitar is fuckin' beautiful. You never told me you had an electric one." 

"Yeah well, when my band fell apart she went to the attic." 

You tilted your head wondering if you heard him right. "You had a band?"

Joel stopped mid-connecting the baby blue beauty to the amplifier and shook his head. "Long story." 

You started slow. You have never played an electric guitar so first Joel let you play with strings and feel the weight since an acoustic was a lot lighter than an electric one. 

"Like I told you, it's like drivin'." 

You took a deep breath, feeling your hands shake in anticipation. The anticipation being you waiting to fuck everything up. 

"I guess I forgot how to drive." You smiled awkwardly. 

Truth be told you forgot since in New York you don't need a car, but once Joel played one chord and told you to do the same your ears immediately perked up.

"That's G5." You said as your fingers touched the strings. The sound was strong and sharp, far different and powerful than the sound coming from Joel's guitar. 

"Another one." He said and played another chord.

"F5." You were correct. 

Joel's face lit up with excitement. The first time you saw him smiling for a straight minute. Every sound he played you guessed it. 

Soon enough you saw the pattern and recognized the melody.

"That’s…That’s Smoke on the water?"

"Unbelievable," he said, confirming your answer. " I’m convinced you have a perfect pitch because you darlin' are a natural." 

You felt your hands get sweaty and your fingers felt still and in pain – it was the same satisfying pain you felt in them after every lesson you had with Joel, only this time the pain was sharper because the strings were thicker. 

"Wanna find out?" You asked him. "Play me something and I'll try to follow you."

It felt good playing again. Walking on that road again was familiar and Joel was holding your hand guiding you all the way. 

He nodded and thought for a second before a familiar melody filled the room. It was Dazed and Confused by Led Zeppelin. Your favorite song. He took the inspiration from your old worn-out Zepp t-shirt you were wearing that day. It was your dad's. He gave you a few years ago when he realized he was too big to wear it. Both of you connected through that band and now Joel was playing one of their songs for you. 

The precision in which he moved his fingers, his silk back hair, his bottom lip between his teeth as he was trying to concentrate…Joel Miller was starting to occupy your mind more and more.

You shook your head and listened carefully. The chords were relatively simple. You played a couple before you eventually found them and slowly but surely you followed him. He was right, it was like driving. Your fingers remembered. 

"Good girl." You heard him say through the sound of both guitars creating heaven in the form of melodies. You smiled back at him, pretending like you didn't just feel your pussy get wet by his comment. You wondered if he was aware of it – his presence was intoxicating, addictive, you wondered if he was aware of his charm. 

"You're a fuckin' rockstar." He said and placed the guitar right next to him. He went to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

"No, I ain't." You denied, but he didn't register you.

"A rockstar with a perfect pitch." 

***

By the time you finished your jamming session, it was almost 9 pm. From Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, and Queen you covered everything you used to play together. Your fingers were red and swollen – but your heart was full. Joel put the missing puzzle piece in you, making you realize playing wasn't just a hobby, it was a need and a means of survival. Art was the core of your whole being.

Why did I stop playing in the first place?

You decided to have a late-night dinner.

"Hope you like my shitty burgers. I'm a lousy cook so if you get food poisoning you have been warned." You shrugged your shoulders and went to the kitchen. You made them that day to not think about cooking tomorrow, not knowing he would come.

"I'm not sayin' no to burgers." He smiled softly.

As you were sitting in silence devouring the burgers that were actually quite good in Joel's words your mind went somewhere you didn't want. Your crush. Your undying crush that was Mr. Handsome. He was much older than you, a friend of your now-deceased parents, and yet you would still get butterflies after so many years. 

"Tell me the story about the band." You shook your butterflies away and let your mind focus on something else. 

"I told you it's a long one."

"Well, make it shorter." You sassed. 

You shared a look before simultaneously taking a bite of your burgers, grease slipping down your fingers. 

"After high school me and my buddies would play small gigs in local pubs. We were doin’ pretty good until we got into a fight and broke up. I punched the bassist." 

"Of course you did. A fight over what?" 

Joel rolled his eyes when he realized what he had to tell you. "They wanted to name the band Rock Bottom." 

He confessed as you choked on a piece of your burger. Thank God you swallowed the piece quickly enough because you started laughing, while Joel just stared at you trying not to roll his eyes again. 

“A rock band, Rock Bottom! That’s horrible, I love it!” 

“Yeah, yeah.” 

“But wait, why did you punch the bassist?”

“Ah, he fucked my ex.” He said almost too casually and you froze mid-bite. It was the first time he ever mentioned an ex/girlfriend. 

“That wasn’t the answer I expected.” 

***

After dinner, you both started craving alcohol. Since there was little to no whiskey left, you remembered your mom would always have a bottle of red wine in the house – for cooking and drinking purposes. Red wine was your poison and it opened many doors, setting you free and killing the remains of your shyness. Adrenaline was running through your veins when you poured your second glass, feeling your tongue untangling. You wanted to confess more with each sip. He seemed to be getting more and more handsome or you were just getting more and more intoxicated. For the past two days you weren't rotting away, you laughed, cried, ate and you remembered good moments in life. His laughter only made you laugh, his words made you listen, his music made you calm…

Your gaze was fixed on his perfect aquiline nose as he was telling you another story about his band or rather about the bassist that fucked his then girlfriend. You were drifting, wondering, fantasizing what it would be like to close the gap between you, to feel his warmth, to spend the night.

"And that's why I wanted to break his fuckin' jaw the second time."

You blinked a couple of times, praying to God you didn't visibly drift away. Another sip of wine went down your throat smoothly. 

"Darlin' are you okay?" 

Crap.

"Yeah I-" in a second God answered your prayers when you heard a bing from your phone. Your aunt and uncle have been checking up on you, regularly making sure you were alright so you assumed someone messaged in the family chat. You were wrong. It was your ex again. 

A quiet ugh left your lips followed by an eye roll before you locked your phone and put it on the table. 

"Everything okay?" Joel asked, glancing at your phone then back at you.

"Yeah. My ex and his I wanna talk bullshit." 

"Dude doesn't seem to get the memo, huh?" 

"Nope. I don't wanna talk to him. If I open my mouth he will probably cry or lose his mind. I'm doing him a favor."

Joel licked his bottom lip, not understanding what you just said.

"Care to explain more?" 

"You really wanna listen to me whine about my failed relationship?" 

"I'm all ears." 

He gave you permission and you told him everything. Something about this man screamed a safe haven for your aching soul. He was the comfort you needed. You told him the forbidden words. The love you wanted was the love your ex never knew how to give. His love was plain, boring like working 9 till 5. If he made a mistake he would buy you something, it he was tired he would forget to kiss you after coming home from work, if he was horny he would fuck you in the same position over and over. There was no depth, no fireworks. Your relationship looked like a marriage of two middle aged people that hated each other. He wasn't capable of satisfying you, neither emotionally, nor intellectually, nor sexually. The guy was as plain as white bread. When you got together with him, it felt right, because you didn't know him well, but after a year you already knew and when second year rolled around you wanted to jump out of your skin. 

Joel wasn't surprised by your words. He understood them, especially when he knew you during your college days. You were always hyper, desperately chasing that high; that dopamine boost, always getting hyper fixated on songs he would play you – you wouldn't stop practicing until you perfected the song – your brain was scattered back then in the same way as it was now. You were anything but boring. He liked that about you; your wild spirit perfectly aligned with his inner lone wolf. Later he realized, he wasn't much of a lone wolf after all when he was with you. Five long years without her… – he thought as the sweetness of wine hit his dry mouth. 

"Oh and he has a small dick," your mouth slipped. You were always as blunt as they come, but after alcohol – you were far worse. Joel choked on his last sip and chuckled. 

"How small?"  He asked genuinely curious. 

You lift up your right pinkie. "Add another half an inch." 

"Damn, poor dude." 

"No, Joel poor me," you said,putting your index finger on your chest. "It's not even the size, it's the fact that he was a selfish bastard and lasted two minutes."

You didn't know why you opened this particular can of worms. Joel seemed to be interested and listening, but was he truly? Your now drunk brain wanted to dive into something unknown and you did everything you could to stay in that lane and keep the conversation going. You wanted to know what he liked in the bed; you wanted him to verbalize it and then show you; especially since it was the truth – you haven't had good sex in AGES. At the same time another thought pierced your head like a bullet – was it wrong to be having these sinful thoughts in your deceased parent's house? Was it wrong to be crushing on a man who just turned 50? Were you just sad and wanting to replace sadness with a good orgasm? You didn't know and frankly you didn't care. This high was too good for you to stop chasing it – like a damn junkie. 

Joel licked his lips and devilishly smiled. He always liked hearing you vent. He thought you were adorable, getting all annoyed and frustrated and always losing yourself in your own thoughts – your mouth being faster than your brain. 

"Darlin', no wonder you weren't happy. Should have dumped his ass a long time ago."

"Stop callin' me that," you said, feeling yourself getting wet. Wine just enhanced everything you were feeling and Joel seemed to be getting hotter by the minute. "You always call me that and it's distracting." You added not wanting to sound rude.

"How so, darlin'?" He was a tease. You were his darlin' and ever since you stepped foot into his house, for your first guitar lesson, he would call you that and every time you would get distracted. 

"Ugh, Joel, don't make me embarrass myself now." You hid your face from him with your palm, feeling your cheeks burning. You dug this hole by yourself and now you had to lay in it. 

"Oh come on now, I'm curious." He was curious, even though he already knew the answer. He just wanted you to say it. 

All those years and she still looks at me like that. Silly little thing… 

"I- I like it too much…if you know what I mean." You poured the rest of the wine in your glass and took a big sip.

"No I don't." He tilted his head, like a damn kid asking stupid questions.

He was impossible.

"Jesus Christ," you whispered under your breath. "I get horny, okay?" 

You finally confessed and Joel smirked.

"Dear God, take me now." Came out in the form of a whisper. 

He was your parents' neighbor, your dad's poker buddy, he was 23 years older than you and yet you wanted him to devour you. 

"Is it bad that I have a crush on you and you're only 10 years older than my dead father?" You asked. The first time the word dead came out of your mouth. 

"Is it bad that I don't think it's bad?" 

That damn smirk on his face is going to be the death of me.

"If you don't think it's bad, can I do something?" You were burning up and the summer weather didn't help. 

"Of course, darlin'," he answered, and thank God he gave you an affirmative response because you were feeling adventurous. You chugged the rest of the wine from your glass and put it on the table. Then went and sat on Joel's lap, putting your legs on both his sides. You could feel his hot breath on your face, his firm chest and his dick slowly getting hard. Your hands found their way into his now dry hair; it was soft, softer than you thought. His fingers went behind your back, finding your bare skin under your shirt, making you shiver. 

"Now do you think it's bad?" You said, slowly moving your hips, grinding against him. 

His breathing deepened, his mouth slightly opened and he whispered: "No." 

That was all you needed to hear. No more holding back, no more hiding behind a shy smile and refusing to look him in the eyes. His wine-stained lips touched yours gently. His lips were surprisingly soft and as the kiss deepened more and more, his hands roamed on your body freely, touching any naked surface he could find. When your hips started moving faster a muffled moan escaped from Joel's mouth letting you know he was growing impatient. Hell, you could feel it. He was now fully hard underneath those jeans and big. 

When oxygen became a necessity, you broke away resting your nose on his.

"Still not bad?" You asked, almost breathless.

"Still not bad." 

Something about sleeping with your favorite guitar teacher in your living room, filled with family photos, was giving you an ick so you went into your room. Your bed wasn't big, but it was big enough for both of you. He climbed on top of you, kissing you hungrily as you pulled on his hair making him groan into the kiss. 

"Mmm I thought you couldn't sleep here." He told you between kisses. "What changed your mind?"

"I broke the ice today" – you sighed as Joel bit your neck gently – "With a nap." 

Your hands pulled on his t-shirt, trying to take it off and feel his warm skin against yours. He took it off, before taking yours off followed by your shorts leaving you completely bare, only in your black panties underneath him. It was too hot for a bra that day. You cupped your breasts feeling a sense of embarrassment. Joel took your palms, intertwined his fingers with yours and put your hands above your head.

"No need to feel shy aroun' me darlin'," He said and placed kisses all over your collarbones, getting lower and lower. You sighed growing wetter with each kiss and touch. His lips explored your skin, his beard lightly brushing against it leaving light red spots all over your belly. When he reached your panties he kissed you through the fabric as your back arched – your body on fire. You have never experienced anything like that with anyone and he hadn't even fucked you yet. Something about him; maybe his age or maybe the fact that you had known him for so long, he was comfort and you were ready to let go of all of your worries. You were his. 

"Are you going to…?" You asked looking at the ceiling, but unable to finish the thought. 

"Don't be shy, baby. Use your words!"

Baby.

You swallowed, feeling your cheeks burning. "Eat me out?"

Joel took off your panties as he positioned himself right in front of your cunt. He kissed the skin on your inner thighs as you bit your lip, balancing yourself on your elbows.

"I can do that, can't I?" He asked, trying to play innocent.

"Yeah, it's just… no one has ever. I don't know if I'd like it." You confessed. 

You had little to no experience when it came to good sex. Your ex liked the same shit and wasn't as creative as you would have wanted him to be. All of your previous partners were the same – same shit over and over. They were all selfish – selfish and just awful.

"You've been with some dickheads, darlin'. Who doesn't wanna eat this pretty little pussy? I mean look at you, baby." 

His words were hot, but tongue against your wet cunt was even hotter. 

"You're already so wet for me.Tell me if you don't like it, okay?"

"Okay, Joel."

He started off slow, showering you with kisses all around your sensitive and pulsating core, before his face was buried deep between your legs, licking the bundle of nerves that no one bothered to touch. Your fingers were in his hair, pulling it harder and harder as the pleasure was growing stronger. It was a brand new feeling – intense, but good. It felt like he was tickling you and torturing you and yet you didn't want him to stop. Your mouth only knew the sound of his name.

"Joel, Joel….FUCK!" 

You could feel the vibrations of his groans against your skin, making your back arch. When he placed two fingers inside, you knew you were going to lose it very soon. It was too much to handle. He was fucking you with his fingers as his mouth never left your clit. Your sanity began to crumble as you started forgetting your own name, only pleasure taking over you. 

"Oh my fucking God!" You screamed, gripping the bed sheets as the orgasm rushed through you. Your body was stiff, skin covered in goosebumps, your lungs forgot to breathe – the climax hit you hard. 

You were panting, practically running towards air, but not being able to catch it. Joel kissed your hip bone and climbed back up. 

"Good girl!" He said and kissed you letting you taste yourself. A mixture of sweet and salty hit your taste buds – you craved more. 

"Spit in my mouth!" You heard yourself say, breaking the kiss. Your hands cupped his face pulling him closer and licking your juices off his beautiful nose. 

Joel bit his lower lip,  letting you know he liked your demand.

"Open!" He said and you opened your mouth, letting your tongue out. A thick drop of saliva left his mouth and hit your tongue, and you swallowed instantly. Something about being able to finally taste every part of this man was enough to send you into an animalistic state so intense it was able to  cloud your judgment completely. You wanted to take control now. It was his turn to moan and scream in pleasure. Your hands went around his torso as you pulled him closer to you. His hot skin pressed against yours and before he knew it you managed to flip him over, with his help,so he was under you. Finally, he was under you.

"You are a lot stronger than you look, darlin', he told you as you took off his jeans.

"Not strong Joel…just really fuckin' horny." You confessed. 

He was bigger than you– sure; stronger– sure; but under your spell powerless. It has been a very long time since he felt this kind of connection with anyone. He needed this just as much as you did. 

"What you wanna do? He asked and watched you taking off his boxers, his dick free and fully hard and slightly curved to the right. 

"I want you to fuck my mouth, handsome." 

Handsome.

He was indeed handsome. His hair messy, skin drenched in sweat, his eyes soft as always – he was indeed the most handsome man you have ever laid your eyes on. 

Only a gasp left his lips. He didn't even manage to react to your statement; his dick was already in your warm mouth. 

"Fuck!" You heard him say under his breath. Not having a gag reflex was a blessing, since he was big enough and hit the back of your throat right away. Your head moved slowly up and down as you hand cupped his balls making him grip the bed sheets and moan your name. Hearing him say your name all hot and bothered only made you want him even more. 

Your pace became faster, with each movement his dick would hit your throat and every time he would moan. 

"Baby!" He called but you didn't answer.

"Please, don't make me cum!" Your ears registered. He was begging.

"Please, don't wanna –" 

His words. The desperation in his voice was sweet like honey – music for your ears. You didn't stop though, you wanted to listen to him beg a little bit more. 

"Baby –"

His dick was hitting your throat every time and it felt too good to stop.

"Please –" 

His words – too melodic and desperate to pull away. 

"I'm gonna –"

Until you finally pulled away. His head hit the pillow and in relief he let out a sign when you got back up to kiss him

"Going insane, handsome?" You teased.

"Teasin' me like that darlin' – Jesus Christ– yeah a little bit." 

You kissed him again, swallowing his short exhales, smiling into the kiss. "I couldn't resist, you're cute when you beg." 

And with that he flipped you over by wrapping his hands around your body. With ease, like you were a ragdoll. A squeal echoed in the room. Your fingers followed his face lines; on his forehead, cheeks all the way to his lips, your thumb, brushing against his lower lip. You had never seen his face up close, every line was a perfect puzzle piece on his face, his eyes were dark, tired but filled with warmth. He was a work of art, nothing more, nothing less.

"You're so handsome, Joel." 

He didn't know how to react. He forgot how to take compliments, so he just kissed you, almost wanting to absorb your words through your lips. He liked them – he liked you, very much.

"You're beautiful, darlin'." He said, stroking your hair. 

"I never thought you'd go for a young lady like me." You told him, your hands around his torso, pulling him as close as possible. 

"And I never knew you'd go for an old man like me." He smiled, his face inches away from yours – noses barely touching.

You frowned. "You ain't old." 

"Sure darlin'." He smiled softly before kissing you again. 

It wasn't a dream. It wasn't a daydream. He was healing the wounds in your soul with each kiss. He was gluing you back together; like you were a broken vase; not even knowing that he was the glue. It was strange to finally feel an ounce of happiness – true authentic happiness; considering the situation and the enormous grief surrounding you in that house. He made everything go away. 

A pathetic whine left your lips as he entered you. He was big, bigger than any guy you had slept with and the blissful sensation was fused with light discomfort before completely melting with pleasure. Joel kissed the skin just underneath your ear.

"Are you okay?" He whispered. 

"Y-yeah. Fuck me!" You whispered back.

Slowly he started to move, establishing the pace. With each thrust, your fingers pulled his hair, with each pull he moaned. It seemed that he waited for you long enough. You were now his and only his to consume. 

Your legs wrapped around his waist pulling him closer to hit that sweet spot, your ex was incapable of hitting without cumming in two seconds. Sloppy kisses and love bites as the pace got faster. The room filled with moans, groans and whimpers. Time stopped – it was just you and him.

Joel suddenly stopped and took your legs, placing them on his shoulders. You watched him as he slowly leaned in to kiss you as he started moving again– faster and harder. You had no idea you were that flexible. 

"OH MY GOD!!" You screamed feeling him hit that sweet, sweet spot over and over again. 

He took your face squeezing your cheeks between fingers, forcing you to look at him.

"Not God, Joel!" He smirked as he was fucking you. 

You giggled. "Funny, old man!" 

Your body wasn't hurting, he bent you over in half; like a piece of paper; you could see your feet dangling in the air as he was pounding into you. 

"Joel, Joel, Joel!!!" 

"There we go! Come on baby! Cum! Cum for me!" His words were unexpected; since no one has ever cared enough to say them. No one has ever cared enough to see you come undone.

You dug your fingers into his back, feeling the waves of pleasure consuming you completely. 

"Gonna–"

"Fuck–"

"JOEL!"

For the second time you fell apart under him. Your body was completely drenched in sweat as you let the pleasure run through you. He still didn't stop, he was eager to cum; to have that release and fill you up. He wondered if he could.

You lifted your head up and kissed him. "Cum in me, handsome!" 

"C-can I?" He asked, barely able to speak. He was close – really close – he just wanted to make sure you were okay with it.

"I'm on the pill," you reassured him. "Please, Joel!"

The desperate plea was all it took for him to completely lose himself. He stopped moving, his body twitching in pleasure as he filled you up. The sound of him moaning and groaning as he couldn't keep your name out of his mouth was something you never knew you'd hear. 

You felt him fill you up completely, before he pulled out, collapsing next to you. 

He was aware that this wasn't just a meaningless fuck and you knew you were already falling for him. 

***

A few months later  

Your alarm went off as you pressed snooze. It was time to seize yet another day but after another 5 minutes and another and another... You rolled on your side to find the other half of the bed empty. 

"Joel?" You mumbled, still feeling groggy.

When you finally got the strength to actually get up, you found him in the kitchen making pancakes. 

"Mornin'," you said, rubbing your eyes.

"I was about to wake you up darlin', we're already late." He said, placing a kiss on your forehead. 

It was a rainy day in The Big Apple and you would much rather stay in your beloved loft than go outside and be a productive member of society. Unfortunately, you had dreams to catch and money to make.

"Didn't they tell us the rehearsal is at noon?" You asked, taking one pancake from the plate. 

"Darlin' it's 11am." He told you. You didn't realize you had been snoozing your phone for an hour.

"Do we have to go though? We already had two gigs there and we played the same shit. I know my chords.," you whined. As much as you love playing, you really wanted to stay in.

"Yes, we have to. Tonight is some kind of fancy jazz night, remember? We will be playing different songs."

You completely forgot about that.

"Shit! Well, it's your fault old man! Your stamina is so high, we always end up fucking like rabbits almost every single night for like 5 hours!" You teased and smacked his ass playfully. 

"Seriously?" He said with a bitch face as he watched you leave to go to the bathroom to get ready. 

"Love you, handsome!" He heard you say.

"Love you too, darlin'." He said and flipped the last pancake. 

[blizzardfluffykpop]

Run Away

Summary: Why was he running away from you and the feelings he felt for you? How was he saving himself a possible heartbreak by breaking his heart now?

Oneshot

Angst with a happy ending, Hurt/Comfort?, Best friends to ?

TW: Use of ‘idiot’, ‘dumbass’, and general cussing

Word Count: 1,867

Best Friend! Sunwoo X Reader

[Mentions: Best friend! Eric]

[A/n: Two things!! This is told from an omniscient third-person pov. And this is loosely based off of “coming of age movie” by jacob geoffrey. And uses some lyrics from it. And as much as I love & could have written this for fwb! Sunwoo, I decided to go a different route.]

------

All he ever wanted was you. Why was it when you told him he was pretty and that he was everything you could want? He was running away from your feelings. Why was he scared of what he wanted? Why, when the opportunity presented itself, he ran the other way? 

It wasn’t always like this. After all, Sunwoo knew you before you were friends and didn’t feel like you were his whole world. Even when someone told him that you had found him handsome and you’d date him given the opportunity, that was years ago, back in high school. And since Eric introduced you, years later, you three became best friends. Now, his heart is all over the place. He didn’t understand your previous affection for him. And he knew you didn’t have any now. And it sucked because of how the tables have turned. If there was such a thing as fate, he saw you everywhere, even without Eric. You were always around. Even in his dreams, he can’t get away from you. 

Every day, he has the same dream he dreams of you laughing at jokes he tells you. Your pretty eyes sparkling in the sunlight as the rays shine on you brightly. He never knew someone could look as pretty as you did. No matter the weather, you were as pretty as the stars above. And that was the problem. You were so pretty and so out of his league. But yet, you were one of his closest friends. You were like the stars, close in his imagination and millions of lightyears away. 

You were in his room while Eric had left to use the bathroom; you had said to him, “Has anyone ever told you that you’re really pretty? That you’re all a person like me could ever dream of?” And Sunwoo blinked at you in surprise before you shrugged, “But I guess that’s how it is. Three pretty best friends.” And his heart sank to his stomach. It’s not like you were wrong. After all, you three were best friends. It was silly of him to want more. And now with the idea that you’ll never like him as more than a best friend. All he wants to do is run. It was stupid. He couldn’t understand it, but all he wanted to do was separate himself from you. And when you left his house that night, with one last tight hug. You pulled away and your eyes took in all his features as he took in all of yours one last time. You smiled at him, “Later, Woo!” And he told you, “Yeah, I'll see you soon.” 

And soon turned into months that his calendar couldn’t see an end to. He was supposedly too caught up in work and creative projects. But really, he was stuck counting all the moments since you last met eyes. How beautiful they were when he saw them last, and how long it’s been since he’d last seen them. He asks into the void known as his living room, “Would it be weird for me to tell you that I’m feeling for you?” He scribbles down some more lyrics to a song he didn’t even know what to call it. He adds another word to the sentence he spoke out loud, ‘too’. Maybe in some distant reality, you liked him back. And he was just being an idiot. 

It was Eric who came to him about it. Knocking on his door like a madman until he let him in, “Hey man, why are you avoiding (Y/n)?” And Sunwoo clammed up. He knew he couldn’t tell Eric because Eric would tell you. Because that was the type of person Eric was. He wasn’t about to hold a secret that could hurt you. Sunwoo said, “I don’t know.” Eric exclaims, “You don’t know?!” And Sunwoo, full of frustration, says, “I do, but what do you want me to say!” Eric shakes his head, “I want you to tell me why because (Y/n) was crying to me about how they didn’t understand why you were avoiding them!” Sunwoo scoffs, “You wanna know the truth?!” “Yeah!” “I love (Y/n) so bad, and I can’t understand why, but all I want to do is run! Okay?!” Eric looks at him like he has two heads, “What the hell, dude?! That’s not healthy. You have attachment issues.” Sunwoo sits down on his couch, putting his head into his hands. “I know. And I don’t know what to do. (Y/n) only views me as a best friend. They said so themselves.” He groans into his hands, just trying to sort himself out. Maybe Eric could make some sense of this nonsense he feels. 

When Eric didn’t reply, Sunwoo looked up to see Eric pressing his lips together, holding something back. “What?” He shakes his head, “I-I promised I wouldn’t…” Sunwoo glares, “What Eric…” Eric gulps, “I promised I wouldn’t. I gotta keep this…” “Eric, you never do this. What are you keeping from me? I’m your best friend… And I’m shedding my heart to you, and you’re keeping something from me?” Having enough of him accusing him, Eric exclaims, “I’m keeping (Y/n)’s feelings from you!” And gasps, “Fuck, I said too much.” Sunwoo whispers, “You know how (Y/n) feels?” Eric rolls his eyes, “Of course I do! I’m their best friend. Just like you’re supposed to be, man. And maybe if you weren’t being such a dick right now. You would know how they feel too. But you know what…” He takes a deep breath before he says the last bit, “When you get yourself all sorted. You can be my best friend again. And until you clean up your act- I- I don’t… I gotta go.” And with that, Eric throws up his hands in frustration and leaves him just like that. 

And the worst part was he couldn’t even get up to run after Eric, paralyzed by the weight of Eric’s words. Eric knows how you feel. And all Sunwoo wants to do is run. And so, he does. Not after Eric, not to you, but to the only place he knows he can clear his head. The place where Eric officially introduced you two: the twenty-four-hour diner. The place where he felt his heart skip a beat for the first time. The place where you two blew straw wrappers at each other, laughing like madmen as Eric kept telling you two to knock it off. The diner where you told them about your first heartbreak. And how Sunwoo had to hold himself back from going to your ex's house that night and asking them why they would lose out on you like that. Where he told you about his dream to pursue music and how you encouraged him to the nth degree, and yeah, there were plenty of moments you two shared with Eric. But none were the moments he had with you. Like the only time, you and Sunwoo had gone there alone and shared a milkshake like two teenagers in love. It didn’t mean anything. After all, it wasn’t a date. You just needed a lift from school, and he had the munchies. Nothing ever meant anything. But what if it all did? What if you weren’t like the stars- even though you shined so brightly- but someone attainable?

It all starts flashing before his eyes. He was running away from you because if he did it now, he wouldn’t have to face the possible future heartbreak. He wanted the heartbreak now so he wouldn’t have to deal with it later. When he’d possibly feel so much more for you later, but he already felt so much for you now. Was he really doomed to the narrative of heartbreak with you? Or was that the only option he saw for you two? What if the worst-case scenario wasn’t even in the cards for him? And what if he was the one who had placed that card into his hand now? And if so, he was getting what he feared most: his heart broken. Here he was, dooming himself to the narrative by not even trying. By running away foolishly. He had to be a dumbass. He just had to be. Because why was he breaking his own heart? And why, by association, was he breaking yours? If all you wanted was friendship, so be it. He’d get over it quietly but still be your friend and make it up to you endlessly. And if you still liked him after months of radio silence, he’d do everything in his power to make it right with you. Because all this running away nonsense was ruining the two good things he had in this world outside of music: his best friend’s friendship. He had to do something, and he had to do it now. 

And when he finally makes up his mind. It’s nighttime. And he knows all he wants is you. And he doesn’t know what to do. For the first time in his twenty-some-odd years of life. He doesn’t know what to do. So, he does the only thing he knows how. He runs to you. Hoping for this one time that he does, that it’ll turn out okay. And for once, he’ll disagree with what his brain says to do. And follow his heart, even if it gets broken. If, in this moment of life, he can have you. He'll be damned if he misses out on it.

He knocks on the door, and when you open it to find Sunwoo, you harshly ask, “What are you doing here, Sunwoo?!” And he instantly wraps himself around you, not strong enough to look into your pretty eyes. You try to push him away but accept his hold, knowing you won’t get out of it even if you wanted to, you didn’t. With his strong arms around you, you can’t help but let out the months of pent-up emotions and start bawling into his hold. As he tells you, “I’m sorry… I ran away from what I wanted. All I ever wanted was you. I shouldn’t have run from you. I love you. And as more than a friend. I fucked up, and I understand if you never wish to see me again. But…” He trails off, and you wish to pummel him but also to kiss him as if your life depended on it. So, you go with the third option, and through sobs, you tell him, “You dumbass… I fucking love you too. Never pull that shit again…” You suck in a breath, “You do… and I’ll leave.” You wipe your tears on his black hoodie, and you feel Sunwoo shiver and feel the sobs rack his body as he tells you, “Okay. I promise I won’t run again.” He breathes in your hair, “I’ve always wanted… I’ve always wanted you.” 

–(Little bonus)--

Eric finds out the following day, “Fuck, thank god, I couldn’t stand my best friends not getting along anymore.” “So, does that mean we’re all cool?” “All cool. But I’m so beating your ass for treating my best friend the way you did.” Sunwoo gulps, “Fair enough.” 

[disgruntleddd]

AITA for wanting to cut ties with my ex?

I (22) have been friends with my ex-fiancé (21) since we were 14. We were best friends for years and they crushed on me for ages, until we finally started going out when I was ~18. We were each other's firsts and we got engaged when I was 20 and they were 19. We moved in together when I was 21 and they were 20.

Last November (six-ish months ago now, jeez, time flies) they broke up with me. They were sexually assaulted in a club and told me that the experience made them realize that they want to be more upfront with their boundaries and desires. They don't think we're compatible like that and wanted to date someone more similar to themselves while still being my best friend, like we were before.

For a while, I tried to make it work even though I was absolutely miserable being around them knowing that what we had was gone. They had an online friend, we'll call him D (24), who they'd grown close to over the course of the year or so we'd lived together. Well, they already had a visit planned months in advance for D to come out and stay in our apartment for two weeks. They told me that they were romantically interested in D, and wanted to see how things went in person. I didn't want to ask them to cancel such an expensive trip so short notice, so I sucked it up. At the time, I expressed that I wanted D to sleep on our fold-out couch (we have a two-bedroom, and they got their own bed after the breakup) but they told me that who they invite into their bed is none of my business.

Anyway, so, my ex lied to me. Turned out that they'd already been dating D for a couple of weeks before the visit took place. The walls are not thick so I heard them fucking more than once. My ex invited me out to drink with them and I ended up crying because it was really painful to watch them hang off of someone else and loudly make jokes about all the sex they were going to have later.

Fast forward a couple of months, and D gets kicked out of his apartment and needs somewhere to live. This is where shit hits the fan, and what prompted this post.

D has never liked me, although he tries very hard in a shallow way to make me like him. (I think it's an anxiety thing — he wants me to like him because then I feel less threatening, not because he actually cares about getting to know me, you know?) I overheard a phone conversation between Ex and D where he was ranting about how I have no friends because I'm such an unlikeable bitch, I'm never going to change or improve myself, he fucking hates me, I'm a narcissist, Ex needs to move out and cut ties with me because I'm so toxic, blah blah blah. D also has schizophrenia, multiple personalities due to severe childhood trauma, he age-regresses (constantly; his default mental age is ~17), and he's an alcoholic. All of this to say that he is a very paranoid and depressed person.

(Side note: I expressly told my ex that I didn't want him to stay in our apartment. They said that they understood and assured me it would only be for a few days while they found him a place. It's been ~3 weeks now, and he's still here.)

I was woken up one night a week ago by my ex and D having a very loud conversation about suicide. D was having a mental breakdown/panic attack and ex was actively having to keep him away from pills and knifes. I laid in my bedroom and listened to D describe a fantasy in which he takes a gun and blows his brains out in front of me — apparently because I am a huge source of depression and anxiety for him, on account of me not liking him.

I don't believe I've been mean to D. I simply don't care about him. I do my best to not acknowledge him/pretend he doesn't exist. My ex disagrees.

They claim I've been outwardly cruel to him and that my hostility is the reason for his near suicide-attempt. They called me all sorts of names and pinned the blame almost entirely on me.

That night of the panic attack, I also became anxious that D would try to do something to hurt me or my two cats. (He has a history of animal abuse/murder.) I went to the kitchen and grabbed a knife to sleep with because I was too tense to get back to sleep.

Well, D found out about the knife and apparently he is now terrified that I'm going to do something to him (and he could have only known about it if my ex told him, as he does not enter my room EVER), which my ex also blames on me.

My ex made the decision to break our lease and move out around a month ago. Rather than find a new roommate, I decided to get a small one bedroom apartment for myself. My ex seems upset about this. I told them blatantly that I don't want to see each other or even communicate once the move is completed, which I don't think they've grasped. They keep making remarks about trying to stay in contact or me visiting them at their new place.

I am a college student and I have a job. I have missed three of my morning classes this month already because my ex and D both like to stay up late at night and play games in the living room and/or drink together. They both talk very loudly and this can go on until 2 in the morning. It's nearly impossible for me to relax and sleep with their constant activity. I also do the dishes, feed the pets, clean up after them, sweep, take out the trash, throw away the beer cans they both leave everywhere, hell, I've even done their laundry.

The only thing my ex does is cook occasionally, which they seem to think is an effort towards our friendship, when they consistently prioritize D's dietary desires over mine, never help me with my groceries, and when they order food, never get anything for me. If there is enough food for three, then they will offer me some. That's about it.

They make no effort to spend time with me and actively avoid having difficult conversations while at the same time accusing me of moving out because I'm "running away from my problems." They want to be both my best friend and a good husband.

Oh, yeah. Ex and D are married as of last week, ish. No idea why. Not my problem.

But, the way I see it, it is functionally impossible for Ex to prioritize someone as high-maintenance as their new husband AND be my friend at the same time, considering all of the emotional conflicts going on in our fucked up little situation here.

(Side note: all of this is IGNORING the 3k my ex owes my parents, as they helped us both out when my ex lost their job last year. My ex told me that they're frustrated because it feels like my family is "ganging up" on them, and that they were under the impression my parents would just forgive the money and all of us could part ways on good terms. I have literally no idea where they got THAT impression.)

I feel ignored and underappreciated. I am also fairly confident that I'm being gaslit, as Ex constantly blames me for my feelings AND for D's feelings. I am posting this now because I legitimately cannot tell if I'm overreacting or not. Ex makes me doubt my thoughts and the validity of my actions. (RE: the knife incident, they chastised me for scaring D all because I was "paranoid," when I brought up the phone call I overheard, Ex told me that D was just drunk/angry and didn't really mean it, the last time I complained about them both being noisy (during sex) it was brushed off as me being bitter that I'm still single, etc)

I know that Ex is also stressed and dealing with a lot. Am I being too harsh? Am I overthinking this? Should I buckle down and try to make it work? I've been friends with them for ⅓ of my life — they've been with me through my worst and my best. So much of who I am is shaped by them. I don't want to give that up, but I also think that maybe I need to if I'm ever going to improve myself/my mental state.

I am legitimately looking forward to moving out on my own, being responsible only for myself, only cleaning up my own messes, focusing on work and school and potentially maybe even making some new friends. I don't want Ex in my life anymore, I just want to put the last year behind me, and I think they know that — they're just in denial. They want to have their cake and eat it, too.

[thewitchandtheassassin]

Romeo and Juliet (Kara Danvers x Reader)

Summary: Heartbreak leads to a late night conversation from the reason behind your pain.

Words: 942

Warnings: Alcohol, heartbreak, angst

A/N: I have finished stories and don’t remember what’s posted. Pray for me.

Taglist: Taglist: @natasharomanoffswife @natasha-danvers @aaron-despair @username23345 @xjiasx @nowthisisliving27 @higherfurther-romanova @summergeezburr @marvels-writings @onlyafewfindtheway @captain-josslett @hayleyokami @aznblossom @everything201197​   @hayleyokami @b-5by5 @lostandsearching​ @evilcr0ne​

-X-

Nursing your third – fourth? Fifth? – drink of the night, you stared grimly at the aged wood lining the bar. You’d spent almost every night there for the last week, though you were fairly certain you would have to look for a new hideaway if the bartender’s sorrowful expression shifted any closer to pity. You’d already had your heart shattered, you didn’t need to become a “sad story” for her to use later when dissuading people from drinking so much.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N).”

“It’s always been her, hasn’t it?” you laughed humorlessly, watery gaze meeting regretful emerald.

“…yes.”

Sneering at the memory, you took a heavy swig of liquor. It burned against your raw, sob-cracked throat but you ignored it, relishing in the fire. At least then you could feel something.

“Why drag this on so long then? If you’ve known?”

“I don’t know…”

A familiar, honey sweet perfume wafted under your nose as someone landed on the stool beside you and your eyes slammed closed. You knew who it was, never one to leave a friend in need despite how much you wished she wasn’t here, since you couldn’t bear to look at her. Look at the reason for the end of a three year long love that apparently hadn’t truly been…

Love.

“What are you doing here, Kara?” you mumbled brokenly, slowly gathering the courage to peek at the frowning blonde. Her silence was telling and you wanted to melt through the floorboards of the dingy bar. “If you’re here to comfort me over my ex being in love with you for the entirety of our relationship, please don’t. I already feel awful enough. And if you’re here to apologize for dating her now, I will personally smack you with a chair. Mostly because I know it won’t hurt you but it’ll save my hand and my buzz.”

“I didn’t want you to be alone,” she offered softly, fighting her instinct to do exactly what you asked her not to do. “You haven’t spoken to anyone in a week. We’ve all been really worried. I nearly came looking for you a few times, but Alex told me you’d probably want to be left alone and that I was the last person you’d want to see. You need a friend, though…”

The meekness in her words and her demeanor forced a genuine chuckle from your chest. It was reminiscent of the shy reporter you’d met years ago.

Simple, sweet Kara Danvers.

“There’s irony in this, I hope you know. Being consoled by the woman I was left for.”

The unhappy glint in her crystal gaze left you reeling slightly. She seemed guilty but there was an undercurrent of something you couldn’t exactly place.

“When she asked me out tonight, I was confused,” Kara admitted, wincing at the pain dancing across your features. “She told us what happened the night after she broke up with you but she was vague about why. I thought maybe she was just being Lena; that she’d come to her senses. Her words were very Luthor and disconnected. Strange.

“She invited me to dinner this afternoon and I went, thinking maybe she wanted to come up with a plan to fix this. Fix you guys. I always thought you were a great couple! But then she started explaining and all I could think about was coming to find you. About how wrong her confession was. How could she hurt you over something that…” she trailed off, teeth clamping into her bottom lip as she tried to find the words escaping her.

“She told me this was inevitable,” you scoffed bitterly, downing the rest of your drink. “A Super and a Luthor. A great love story, like fucking Romeo and Juliet; as if that made all of this better.”

Brows scrunching disconcertedly, Kara replied, “Didn’t they die at the end? Because of their families?”

You paused for a moment before a hearty laugh filled the mostly-deserted bar. “Yes.”

“Well,” Kara cleared her throat awkwardly, ignoring the discomfort that idea left her with. “She was wrong. I don’t…I didn’t…”

As the unspoken meaning of her words washed over you, you gaped at the Kryptonian like she’d sprouted two extra heads and a tail. A gentle breeze could’ve bowled you over. Fuck, an ant could’ve carried you off.

Saying you were stunned would be an absolute understatement to the current turn of events.

“What?”

Shrugging, Kara nervously played her twitching fingers. “I care about Lena. She’s my friend but the past and the family problems and everything that’s happened is just too much to overlook. I can’t spend my life worrying about another knife aimed at my back. I think she’s different than her family – I really do – but there’s so much history we’d have to erase and I really don’t want to end up like Romeo and Juliet.”

Blinking owlishly, you couldn’t even pretend to find the words for an intelligible response. All that would surely form from your mouth would be sounds. And not even the kind she’d be able to decipher.

Just… sounds.

“You were who I wanted to see.”

There was a confession hidden somewhere in her words - no matter how minute an admittance it seemed – but you were too tipsy and exhausted and heartbroken to consider it at that moment. Later, when the alcohol had run its course and you were done wallowing in your misery, it would come to you and you would understand, running like your life depended on it to her apartment at four in the morning demanding answers to questions you’d never realized you’d had.

But for now, this was enough.

[unluckyhoneybee]

okay i have a fic idea

daniel falls in love with reader who works as an interviewer in f1, she always asks the right questions and never oversteps boundaries, he always looks forward to seeing her after even the worst of races, slowly they show affection towards eachother sending gifts, seeing eachother more often before the interview starts, holding hands and simply being attached to the hip, everyone thinks they’re in a relationship at that point and they don’t even realize how hard they’ve fallen for eachother that they think it’s normal. And lets say reader goes up to daniel after a good race, kisses him out of nowhere and both end up being stunned

hope this made sense😭🫶🏻

Note: it took me ages to get the inspo for this.

Daniel has a soft spot from minute one.

You appeared on the paddock just when everything about his seat and Piastri exploded. He was expecting you to ask about it just like others had done. Instead, you asked about different things, about racing and the weekend.

He starts to ask his PR assistant about your interviews and you start trying to put him on your list. You two feel comfortable around each other. He always has a casual flirting demeanour when he is around you, but he is soft and cute and you start blushing when he smiles at you.

One day he arrives with a coffee and a croissant for you and it becomes a habit. You start meeting in the paddock for breakfast, and you start arriving together and casually talking. He starts paying visits when he is in your city and you are even invited when he has some gatherings with friends. Then the dates with only you two become a thing. Weekly and with some kind of pact, if you are in the same country, you have to meet for dinner.

Daniel doesn't mind having to drive for a couple of hours.

When everyone else decides that you two are secretly dating and that they adore the couple you make, comes right after you post a picture of you both having pizzas and watching a film at your home, your pet (if you have one) resting on his lap.

"Your girlfriend is there" Lando tells him.

"She is not my..." "How did you know I was talking about her then? You haven't even checked who it was"

Daniel blushes so hard and Lando laughs.

"She is not" "Then you hold hands, have dates, sleep together, or are cling to each other at any given moment just as friends"

Daniel just nods. That's how your friendship is. You two are close. It's normal. You say hi in your usual sweet voice and Daniel's heart speeds up. Then you kiss his cheek and he blushes. You give Lando a quick hug and fix his hair. Daniel loves you even more. He thinks you are the best. His best friend.

You are shaking after Abu Dhabi. He has done so well but it's the last for a while and you are feeling so many things. You sneak to his motor home as soon as you can. You still have work to do but ten minutes won't hurt anyone.

You find him with his family and friends. He has already changed into his clothes.

"Dan!"

He walks to you to have some privacy. You know his family well and they adore you because their Danny adores you and they see how in love he is. He knows you won't have any problem staying around them, but he is feeling too many things and wants a quiet moment with you because you always help him calm down and put some order on his feelings.

You hug him so close and hide on his neck. Daniel can feel your breath and the tip of your nose on his skin. He is feeling uneasy and is unable to move his hands from your waist. "I'm super proud of you" You tell him and then pull back.

You don't know what gets into you. It's probably his glassy eyes and his pink cheeks, or his finger drawing circles on your skin. But you lean and trap his lips in a really sweet but equally deep kiss. He kisses back and he loves every second of it.

When you pull back, you are both too stunned to speak. Your hands are on his neck and he is keeping you impossibly close by your waist. You both are breathing hard, minds working fast and hearts beating crazily.

It's you who speaks first.

"I suppose they were all right" He smiles. "With what?" He knows, he just wants to hear you.

"We are in love"

Daniel kisses you again and you feel the happiest woman alive.

[cxhleel108]

LITG S5 MC:

Name: Omari Martin

Age: 25 (During the Season) 26 (Now)

Birthday: June 30, 1997 (Cancer)

Hometown: Born in Durban, South Africa. Raised in Truro, England. Moved to Edinburgh, Scotland for college.

Ethnicity: South African

Job: Photographer

Sexuality: Straight

Height: 163cm/5’4

Hobbies: Drawing, Photography, Painting, Crocheting, Driving

Personality: My girl loves hard ok. If you’re a part of her close circle, you’re guarded for life. The Cancer sign is a crab so everything important to her is staying protected in her shell. That includes her emotions/feelings. Omari is more on the emotional side, but at the same time, she only gets vulnerable with people that she trusts. If she doesn’t trust that you’ll value her feelings as much as she would value yours, she’s only giving away so much of herself. Also, if you screw her over she can forgive you eventually, but she will never forget. “I get in my feelings, I’m sensitive, and I can be hurt just like everybody else but I rarely feel hatred or bitterness towards people who do me dirty. In due time I can let the hurt go, but I know to let the person go as well and break the toxic cycle before it can even manifest.” Art has always been a big part of her life. She’s very imaginative and loves creating her ideas into visual forms. Getting to do photography is basically her dream job. Now when it comes to partying, if her friends are going then she’ll go. If it was up to her how she spent her night, then she’s staying her ass at home. She likes hanging out in a more intimate environment because she feels like you can connect more that way. “My idea of a dream date is so simple. I really do not require a lot when it comes to that. Just me and my partner at home eating sushi or maybe pizza, doing whatever. Bonus points if he likes art too cos then we can draw together or something like that.” Just remember this, she’s def not boring and can turn up when she’s in the mood.

Why She Came On Love Island: Omari was ready to find new love. She felt that she had taken enough time to be with herself after all that happened with her last relationship and the one thing she hates the most is being alone. So, what better way to get over your ex cheating on you than going on an island vacation with several hot men waiting to cuff you?

Who She’s With: We’re just gonna discuss what she got up to after the show because all of them boys from the season literally SUCKED so bad that she ended up getting with nobody <3. Ok, Finn was cool and they did have a lil thing for a bit after the show ended, but they both knew eventually that they wanted different things so they just stayed friends. Other than that life’s been pretty good for our girl. She took her prize money and used it to move back to Truro because there was really no point for her to stay in Edinburgh anymore thanks to Suresh’s cheating ass. She got a lot of good offers for photography work so safe to say she’s been getting a few pretty pounds. A lot of apologies were sent her way once the season was done. Alfie, Dana, Arlo, and Gabi hit Omari up to say sorry for her terrible experience on the show and the part they played in that. She appreciates all of them admitting their faults and is completely fine with having cordial relationships but none of them are gonna be her besties anytime soon. “It’s sad cos I really did view Dana as a good friend and obviously everyone saw how much I fancied Alfie but all of the weird behavior became way too much to ignore and I couldn’t deal with it anymore.” Suresh probably has tried numerous times to apologize again and again but Omari has that man blocked on everything possible because she really wants his chapter of her life CLOSED. Her favorite thing to have happened because of the show though has to be the support she’s gotten. A large portion of the fans were rallying behind her the whole time. #JusticeForOmari was even trending on Twitter at one point. All of the winner girlies from the previous seasons (you’ll meet them soon) sent her sweet messages. Dani from Season 2 and Simone from Season 4 specifically showed her the most love. Dani invited Omari all the way out to LA to come on her channel/podcast so she could say all the things that she couldn’t on the show. “She’s exactly how you’d expect her to be in real life after seeing her on the show. Just super cool and hilarious 24/7. We got to laugh, bond over similar experiences, get serious, talk shit, and then laugh some more hahaha. I’m really grateful to her for that. Also, Bobby makes the best chocolate chip cookies I’ve ever had in my entire life.” Simone invited her out to lunch when she was in the area one day. They had a nice lil spill sesh and Simone even put Omari on to one of her friends who happens to be a certain tall, gentle, cat-owning tattoo artist from Falmouth that we all love. “I was talking about how I wanted to get a really nice and more noticeable tattoo cos I only have a small one on my wrist, so she recommended a close friend of hers who does really good ones and only lives about 25 minutes from me. I could tell by the fact that she started telling me stuff about him that wasn’t relevant to his job and then showed me a picture of a very attractive man that she was trying to set me up haha. But, that’s how Oliver and I met.” So yeah she’s with Oliver now and they’re just living life being like the cutest and most creative couple ever. (I really needed to give her a happy ending cuz…well you already know why)

[kimmysurveyblog]

38

Do you know anyone who has divorced and remarried the same person? What do you/would you think of someone who does that? I don't. I think that if they got remarried, then their break must have just made them realize that they're truly meant for each other. That's sweet.

Do you say goodnight to anybody before you go to bed? If so, does it feel weird if you go to bed without saying it to them? My boyfriend. It absolutely would feel weird. Even before we started dating, we'd do it. It's very much a part of my nightly routine lol.

Do you have a favourite role of Johnny Depp's? If you don't like him, what is your favourite role of an actor you like? I'm not really a movie watcher. I enjoyed Edward Scissorhands?

Why did you/your parents choose to live where you do now? Would you move right now if you were able to? Why/why not? If so, where would you like to go? We chose this house because it was within our price range and close to my mom. We recently got some super shitty neighbours so we're currently in the process of fixing what's broken in our house so we can hopefully move by the end of Summer. We wanted to move before our kiddo is school aged anyway because we got this house prior to deciding on having a child and it's not big enough for us anymore. We want to move to a different city that's close to our current one. :) Very exciting!

If someone broke into your house and robbed you, what could they take that would piss you off or upset you the most? To what lengths would you go to get it back? Has something like this already happened to you before? Any of the art my dad made. Everything else is replaceable. I've never been robbed, thankfully.

Was there something you were afraid of as a child that just seems silly to you now? Not really.

Do you like coffee? I like coffee but I LOVE cold brew. :)

When did you last make up a baby’s bottle? I warm a bottle of milk every night.

Do you eat your dinner at a dining table, coffee table or just off your lap? Dining table.

Did you go to high school with your current best friend? No.

Do you take part in paying the bills for your household? No.

How many cars can fit in your driveway? Probably 3.

Have you ever slapped someone in the face? No.

Last person you took a nap with? I don't usually nap but my boyfriend.

Does seeing your mother cry automatically make you feel sad as well? When she was alive, seeing her cry made me become extremely stressed and shut down emotionally.

Have you ever given up on someone, but then went back to them later? No.

Is your last ex currently in a relationship? I'm not sure.

Do you think the last person you kissed has feelings for you? Yup!

Have you ever been punched in the face? No.

Are you the type of person who seeks out revenge? Nooo. In the past I was but I don't have space for that negativity in my life anymore.

Have you ever been asked out by someone you didn’t want to be with? Yup.

Who is the last person to call you gorgeous? Boyfriend.

Do you think a lot before you fall asleep? Sooo much. It's exhausting.

Would you rather have your parents catch you having sex or smoking weed? Smoking weed.

Do you like it when people call you babe? When my boyfriend does.

Would you ever get your nipples pierced? I thought about it.

Does it bother you to get shots in the mouth? Does it hurt? I'm used to it at this point. Take care of your teeth, friends.

Ever ride in a limo? When did you last do so? No.

Do you have a lot of self-discipline? None lol.

Have you ever been to another country’s capital city? I haven't been to any country's capital city.

What’s something that has upset you lately? The shitty neighbours. I'm trying to use that anger to motivate me to work on decluttering our house so we can sell it. :)

What’s something you don’t think people take seriously enough? Global warming.

Have you ever dated someone who had a child from a previous relationship? No.

What’s your favorite kind of soup? Broccoli cheddar.

Have you ever been 4-wheeling? No.

Will you be attending any weddings in the near future? I don't think so.

Do you have any important anniversaries you celebrate? Anniversary with my boyfriend. Anniversary of the death of my dad, and now mom.

What will be the next concert you attend? No idea!

Have you ever seen a horseshoe crab? They’re scary, right?! No.

When was the last time you had a hangover? A few months ago.

Do you own many pairs of shorts? Maybe 5.

Who was the last person you texted? Boyfriend.

When was the last time you felt like letting it all out and having a cry? Last night.

When was the last time someone made you feel like an idiot? I'm not sure.

Would you allow your children to date prior to 16? Yes.

What was the last restaurant you made a reservation at? Not sure. I'm not usually the one that does that.

Would you rather read a book, or listen to the audiobook? Read.

What is your favorite book? I don't have one.

What is something you're insecure about? The little overhang I have now from my c-section. I've always hated my stomach and I'm starting to lose the pregnancy weight finally but I know it'll always be there. All good though. :) My child was brought safely into the world because of it.

What do you consider your biggest accomplishment? Like... surviving? And remaining positive. I've been dealt kind of a shitty hand in this life (I'm also very blessed in so many ways). I'm proud of my strength and resilience. It's my most important accomplishment, I think?

Who knows you the best? My boyfriend.

Will anyone be visiting your house any time soon? Boyfriend's dad/stepmom/sister on the weekend. :)

Scroll through your camera roll quickly without looking, then stop it with your finger. What's the first picture your eye lands on? My daughter with a cake pop.

Have you ever been chased by a dog? No.

What's your favourite kind of soda? I'm not a soda person! Pink crush if I had to choose.

Do you have a drink with you right now? What is it? Cold brew.

What was the last app you opened on your phone? Photos because of the question above. Reddit, otherwise.

Is your voice high, low, or somewhere in the middle? On the higher end I think.

Are you wearing any rings right now? No.

How many beds are in your home? Three.

What is the last thing you ate? Pizza.

Who is your favorite person to spend time with? Boyfriend & kiddo.

Are you considered a "clingy girlfriend"? I think so.

Are you good at multitasking? Sometimes.

When's the last time you went to a nightclub? Over a decade ago.

[bijouxcarys]

𝐏𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧' 𝐆𝐮𝐲 - 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍

Masterlist

“𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝?” 𝐈 𝐠𝐫𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐟𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.

“Maria, I’ve told you a million times. Just give him a call,” Emma urged.

“I have called him, and it just keeps ringing and going to the dead tone, Emma!” I snapped.

“Don’t shout at me, I’m just trying to help you,” she retorted.

I clenched my fists, sinking onto the sofa and whining. Emma sat at her piano, browsing through her sheet music collection. She had patiently endured my complaints and paranoia for over an hour, and I couldn’t fathom how she put up with me. It had been five long days since I last spoke to Brian, and I couldn’t figure out why. Through my rambling, I concluded that it was because I left his place without a word. I knew anyone would be annoyed by that, and I felt like a terrible person. The work experience I was supposed to do with the boys had completely slipped my mind, and I hadn’t touched my study notes all week. It was only when I noticed that October was almost over that I realised I had pushed away the only guy I ever genuinely liked, or trusted. Happy Halloween, Maria, you’ve successfully avoided him.

“I’m sorry. I’m just scared that I messed up,” I admitted, resting my head in my hand.

“Well, you won’t know if you’ve done something wrong unless you talk to him. So ask him, and then you can stop worrying,” Emma reassured me with a smile. “They’re at that new place tonight, right?”

My eyes widened, and I turned to look at Emma. “Yeah, they are,” I confirmed. “I can go and see him without seeming too desperate.”

“But you are desperate…”

“Thanks, Emma,” I rolled my eyes, getting up to find something to wear for the evening. Too many, yet not enough, options. I quickly decided that it didn’t matter what I wore that night, considering the nature of the conversation I was about to have with Brian. If he couldn’t accept me for who I was, then it showed that I shouldn’t care if he was mad at me.

Instead of obsessing over my appearance, I spent the time Emma and I would have spent studying in the library going through my notes. The exams were still months away, but it never hurt to start early.

However, my newfound confidence was quickly overshadowed by anxiety when my mother, of all people, decided to call me for the first time in two weeks. Clearly, her concern for my well-being was indelible.

Being on the phone with a woman who had forty-three years of life experience made me wonder if my mum could actually give me dating advice, or insight into guys. It felt a bit late to be discussing these things at the age of twenty-two, especially when all my friends had those conversations at fifteen, but it was worth a shot. After all, she was my mother.

“Mum?” I interrupted her story about gardening with Dad all morning. There was a silence on the other end, so I continued. “Can I ask your opinion on something?”

“Of course, sweetheart, you can ask me anything,” she replied.

I took a deep breath, leaning against the wall. “Well…” I began, trying to articulate my situation. “There’s this guy… at uni. We’ve been getting really close—”

“Maria, I don’t want any boys around you,” she interjected. Here we go.

“Mum, I’m twenty-two,” I exhaled with exasperation. “I just want your advice on something.”

“Carry on then, I haven’t got all day.”

“I stayed at his place on Saturday night, and… I left without saying anything in the morning. I feel really bad about it. I really like him, Mum, but he hasn’t called me since then, and I’m scared to call him because I think I messed it up. I feel like I’ve upset him, and I don’t know what to do. His band is playing somewhere tonight, and I don’t know if I should go see him or if that will make me look desperate,” I poured out in one breath.

There was no response from my mother. I glanced at the phone to check if I’d accidentally pulled the cord out of the receiver or something, but I hadn’t.

“Mum?” I asked, furrowing my eyebrows.

“…Have you had sex with him, Maria?” Her voice had a hint of sternness, but it was clear she hadn’t listened to a word I had said. I furrowed my eyebrows further, leaning back against the wall, feeling a sting of tears welling up.

“No… I haven’t,” I replied softly, my voice once again falling into its subordinate tone in our mother-daughter relationship.

“Good. Keep it that way. You can never trust boys in a band, anyway, especially those who don’t call you back.”

“But that’s not what I wanted to ask you.”

“Now, sweetheart, I just want you to be happy, and I truly believe this is the best thing for you. Trust me, Maria Brennan, don’t question it,” my mother’s voice came through the phone, carrying a mix of reassurance and urgency. “Your father and I have to go pick up a new chair for the conservatory. Talk to you later, sweetheart.” The line abruptly went silent, leaving me frustrated and restless.

Fury coursed through me as I clenched my jaw and slammed the phone back onto the wall. I spun around, only to find Emma standing there, wearing an unsatisfied expression. She had seen this scenario play out before, at least one similar.

“You have to stop asking her for advice, Maria. It always ends up like this,” Emma admonished, her words laced with exasperation. I crossed my arms defensively, shifting gaze sideways.

“What did she say?” Emma inquired, her voice filled with curiosity and concern.

“She said I can’t trust boys in a band,” I replied, rolling my eyes in disbelief. I made my way back to the bedroom, feeling a mix of irritation and confusion.

“Are you still planning to go to The Britannia to see him?” Emma’s voice trailed behind me, causing me to pause and contemplate whether it would be a wise decision. After all, he hadn’t called me, suggesting that he didn’t want to talk to me.

I turned my head, addressing Emma from the side, my words stumbling and uncertain, but from the heart.

“Of course I am.”

I arrived at the pub too late for their actual show. The thought of sitting there alone, listening to them play for an hour while risking Brian seeing me and questioning my presence, felt unbearable. The prolonged exposure only meant more opportunities for rejection.

I took shelter at the bar, purposefully keeping a low profile during the remaining ten minutes of Queen’s performance. Nonetheless, I couldn’t resist stealing a few glances towards the front of the pub, taking in Brian’s appearance. He looked incredibly attractive, leaving me perplexed as to why anyone wouldn’t find him appealing. It wasn’t just his looks; he possessed a genuine sweetness, one of the most grounded individuals I had ever encountered. Any girl would be captivated by such sensitivity.

When my infatuation momentarily subsided, their performance came to an end, and the began making their way to the back. That’s when my nerves kicked in. I navigated through the growing crowd of fans, my mind inundated with various scenarios. What if he’s with another girl right now? What if he doesn’t want to see me? What if he discovered I wasn’t someone easily swayed and that’s why he hasn’t reached out? Can I truly trust a boy in a band?

It was too late to turn back and abandon the entire endeavour as the night air sent a chill down my ankles. Chewing on my lip anxiously, my gaze settled on Roger’s car, where the guys, along with Mary, were gathered, enjoying their drinks. Taking a deep breath, I mustered the courage to approach them, my heart pounding against my ribcage. Brian happened to be the only one facing away, which only heightened my nervousness when Roger spotted me.

“Ah, you’ve made up already?” Roger exclaimed, his words slightly slurred. A puzzled Brian turned in the direction of Roger’s voice. Our eyes met, and the awkward atmosphere settled in almost instantly. My mouth went dry, and I couldn’t recall what I had planned to say once I reached him. I managed a small smile, but before I could utter a word, Freddie swooped in, enveloping me in a massive hug.

“Maria, darling! I knew you couldn’t resist!” Freddie exclaimed, flashing me a toothy grin. He glanced at Brian, who observed the situation with apparent confusion. “Oh, I didn’t introduce you to Mary last time, did I? How rude of me!” With that, he took my hand and guided me towards Mary, who stood beside another girl with orange hair and a fringe. “Mary, darling!”

Mary looked up, revealing her stunning blue eyes and cascading blonde hair. “Hello!” she greeted, leaning in to plant a welcoming peck on my cheek. “You must be Maria.”

“Yes,” I nodded, raising an eyebrow curiously.

“Oh, sorry, dear. Freddie tends to update me on everything,” Mary whispered, casting a glance at Brian. She smiled at me, then turned her attention back to the girl by her side. “This is Patty.”

Patty offered me an awkward smile and extended her hand for a shake, to which I obliged. “Hi,” she greeted, seeming somewhat reserved or unsure, as her words remained sparse.

“She’s more talkative once you get to know her, darling. Or when she’s had a few drinks,” Freddie interjected, emphasising Patty’s fondness for alcohol. “She works with Mary.”

Curious, I turned to Mary. “Where do you work?”

“I’m at Biba. What can I say? I love fashion,” Mary replied.

“I can tell,” I smiled, admiring her impeccable style. “You have great taste.”

“Thank you! I hope you’ll visit sometime. We’re having a sale soon—get more for your money,” Mary grinned, hoping her sales assistant skills would pay off.

I stole a glance at Freddie, a giggle escaping my lips. “Yeah… I’ll see if I can make time. Well, I won’t stay for long, I uh…” My words stumbled, my eyes darting over to Brian. “I just need to talk to Brian…” I took a shaky breath, trying to avoid direct eye contact with him, but my curiosity got the better of me.

“Of course, darling! Take all the time you need with him,” Freddie replied, stepping aside and gesturing towards the guitarist, his grip tightly clutching his beer can.

Reluctantly, Brian pulled away from Roger’s car, his lip caught between his teeth as he walked past me, indicating for me to follow. I did, stealing a quick glance back at the others, who watched us with knowing smiles on their faces.

Brian and I stopped in front of The Britannia, where cars whizzed by and unfamiliar faces bustled past. This part of Kensington was significantly louder and busier compared to the tranquil location of The King’s Head. I positioned myself with my back against the wall, while Brian stood facing me. There was a brief moment of silence, the only sounds being the cacophony of our surroundings. People stumbled out of the pub, drunk and laughing, leaning on each other, while others entered. It was time to break the silence, but it seemed like Brian had the same idea.

“You look gre—”

“Are you angry at me?” I blurted out, crossing my arms and gazing at his face as confusion and a hint of hurt flashed across his features.

“Maria… Of course I’m not angry at you. Why would I be angry at you?” He took a step closer, his beautiful hazel eyes meeting mine. With just a single look, he had the power to weaken my knees.

“I just… I don’t know,” I whined, leaning my head back against the wall. “You didn’t call me or talk to me, and it felt… different from how you usually are. And I kind of left without telling you where I was going…” I shrugged, feeling a tinge of embarrassment. Now that I had put things into perspective, I realised that I had let my anxiety get the best of me.

“I thought you were angry at me,” Brian said in a monotonous tone, shrugging his shoulders.

“What?” I asked, tilting my head forward to meet his gaze. “Why?”

“Well… I thought you left because of… you know…” His cheeks flushed a light pink, and he glanced away.

“Because of what?” I prodded, fully aware of what he was referring to. But I needed him to acknowledge it so we could address it openly and not tiptoe around the subject.

“Because of when I… kissed you—You know what, I know it was the wrong thing to do, and I’m sorry for putting you in that situation,” he confessed, his distress evident as he ran his hand through his curly hair.

Swiftly dismissing his words, I shook my head vigorously. “Brian, don’t apologise for that. It didn’t make me uncomfortable or anything. Honestly, I don’t even remember it happening. But when I saw my lipstick on you when I woke up, the thought of it… well, I liked the thought,” I admitted with a soft smile, shrugging my shoulders.

In response to my words, Brian returned my soft smile and reached out, taking my hand in his. “You know… I’ve been doing some thinking,” he began, his gaze shifting to our intertwined hands, his thumb gently tracing over my knuckles. “There’s something I need to tell you. Something I haven’t been entirely honest about.”

Raising an eyebrow, I allowed Brian to hold my hand as I encouraged him to continue. “Go on…”

“Well, it might sound silly, and maybe you don’t feel the same way. But…” He took a deep breath, locking eyes with me. “I really like you. You’re intelligent, kind, adorable, and you make me smile whenever you’re around. And I really like that.”

“This isn’t how I expected tonight to go, I’ll admit,” I exhaled, slightly taken aback by Brian’s confession. “But I’m not surprised either,” I whispered in a hushed tone, causing a smile to grace Brian’s lips. “You’re alright, poodle head,” I nodded.

Brian shook his head, his grip on my hand tightening. He didn’t seem to seek a reciprocal compliment or assurance that I felt the same way. He simply needed to express his feelings, and I’d be dishonest if I said I didn’t share those sentiments.

“So, are you going to reveal your little secret?” Brian mumbled, stepping closer to me, leaving minimal space between us.

“What, that I feel the same way?” I smirked, searching for a reaction in his eyes. Although I suspected that that wasn’t the response he was anticipating.

“N-no… But it’s good to know that,” he smiled, a light chuckle escaping his lips. “No, I mean your secret secret.”

“My secret secret?” I raised an eyebrow, perplexed. Brian furrowed his brow, mirroring my confusion.

That’s when his gaze shifted to my hand, and he gently lifted it, his other hand reaching for my sleeve to push it up. I attempted to stop him, my hand instinctively reaching for his, but he gave me a serious look at made mine drop back to its original position. Brian pulled up my sleeve, revealing years’ worth of scars.

I felt a deep sense of embarrassment. Until that moment, I had never allowed anyone to witness my pain—or so I thought.

“How did you know…?” I whispered, avoiding eye contact once again.

“You showed me. On Saturday night,” he stated matter-of-factly, his gaze fixed on the scars. “You need someone to take care of you,” he added, lifting his eyes to meet mine, which were still fixated on the scars as if they belonged to someone else. Brian raised his free hand, gently tilting my chin to make me look at him. “I can be that someone.”

And just like that, a grin spread across my face, followed by an unexpected fit of giggles. Brian looked at me, confusion etched on his features. “What’s so funny?”

I paused, gazing at him with a mixture of amusement and affection. “You’re such a cliché,” I remarked playfully.

“I know,” he shrugged, enveloping me in a hug that instantly warmed my heart. Brian was tall and slender, with hardly any meat on his bones, yet somehow his embrace made me feel shielded and protected, as if nothing could touch me. I felt safe in his arms.

I revelled in the hug, savouring the minutes that stretched on endlessly. It never grew awkward, nor did it become too silent or invasive. It was simply nice.

“Maria?” I felt his chin shift against the top of my head.

“Hmm?” I murmured, my voice muffled by his chest.

“This is where I hugged you when you had a panic attack,” he whispered, and I could sense the smile in his voice as he buried his face in my hair.

“My God, you really are a cliché,” I chuckled, my laughter resonating against his chest as the embrace continued.

But despite his clichéd nature and his tendency to apologise for the smallest things, Brian remained an intriguing and extraordinary person in my eyes. And in that moment, I realised it wholeheartedly.

Fuck the work experience. Let’s have some fun.

“I’m really glad we’re doing this,” I said with a bright smile, bringing the steaming mug of black coffee to my lips as I sat across from Emma at the small café on Imperial’s campus.

“Me too, it feels like forever since we’ve actually hung out together,” Emma agreed, stirring her coffee with a spoon.

“Yeah, there’s been so much going on lately, you know? With the boys around and all the assignments due,” I replied, trailing off as I tried to take a sip without burning my tongue.

We had chosen to sit outside the café, enjoying the November ambiance as we watched the leaves from September soak in the aftermath of an overnight rainfall, accompanied by a refreshing chill in the air. Early morning students hurried past us, wrapped in their parka coats and hats. We rarely ventured out so early before lectures, but that morning we wanted to carve out some quality time together, knowing that Emma would likely be whisked away by Roger at some point during the day, only to return when I was fast asleep.

“Did you talk to Brian?” Emma asked, effortlessly sipping her coffee.

“Yeah…” I couldn’t help but let a smile spread across my lips as I thought about the events of a few nights ago. “Everything’s… alright. We’re doing alright,” I nodded.

“Did he teach you their song puns or something?” Emma laughed, shaking her head.

“No,” I joined in the laughter, tucking a stray hair behind my ear. “The good thing is, he’s actually called me and talked to me since then. So I must have done something right!”

“Have you mentioned it to…” Emma’s voice trailed off as she gestured with her hand.

“No,” I quickly interjected. “There’s no need for her to know every detail of my life. Yes, she’s my mum, but I’m also twenty-two years old. I don’t need her interfering the way she does,” I tutted, still hurt by her previous words. “Anyway… how’s Roger?”

“Distant. Really distant,” Emma replied, a slight frown forming on her face. “We haven’t really talked much, except for, you know…” I couldn’t bear to see the disappointment in my best friend’s eyes, but I also couldn’t believe she was feeling this way.

“Oh, Emma…” I started, reaching out to hold her hand. “What’s going on? I thought everything was great between you two,” I whispered, trying not to draw attention to our conversation.

“I don’t know what’s happening. He’s just not really talking to me. It feels like the only time he sees me as a real person is when we’re shagging. I’m getting really frustrated with him, but I don’t know what the hell to say,” she expressed her agitation, and I gently squeezed her hand to calm her down, a trick that always worked.

“You have every right to be angry with him, hun,” I spoke assertively and reassuringly. “I mean, has he even clarified that you two are in a committed relationship?”

Emma’s gaze drifted away, the frown deepening before she let out a reluctant sigh. “No,” she whispered, barely audible. “He hasn’t.”

I sighed in response, my brows furrowing as I leaned back in my chair. “Emma, you need to do something about this. You can’t keep letting yourself down like this. Or…” I glanced to the side, contemplating. “Maybe it’s nothing. I’ve heard rumours that he’s dropping out of Imperial, so maybe he’s under a lot of stress—”

“He’s dropping out?” Emma interrupted, her voice filled with surprise and concern.

“I’m not sure, that’s just something I heard. Brian mentioned it, but he was pretty drunk, so I can’t be one-hundred percent certain.”

Emma nervously chewed on her lip, her gaze fixed on her coffee, which had likely turned lukewarm by now. “Yeah…” she nodded slowly. “It’s probably nothing. It’s only been a couple of days, after all.” She tried to reassure herself with a smile.

“A couple of days? Emma, that’s hardly any time at all! You have nothing to worry about, trust me. I can see how much Roger likes you. Don’t let your own doubts overshadow something that could truly be wonderful,” I reassured her, my voice filled with conviction.

Emma looked up at me, her eyes regaining that familiar sparkle that never seemed to fade. “I knew there was a reason I kept you as my best friend,” she said, her smile growing brighter.

“A bonfire party. Seriously, Emma?” I whispered, trying to keep my voice down as Professor Ross continued with his lecture.

“Why not?” she whispered back, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

“Emma, I haven’t had a bonfire party since I was thirteen, and we nearly set the dog on fire. It’s not exactly my area of expertise,” I muttered, keeping my focus on the front of the room and attempting to appear innocent.

“Why does it have to be your expertise to have one? I didn’t know throwing a bonfire party required specialised skills. Come on, it’ll be fun,” Emma nudged me, a mischievous grin on her face.

“And where exactly do you propose we have this bonfire party?” I scoffed, glancing down at my book and scribbling down some notes.

“At our flat,” she replied, her eyes filled with anticipation.

I froze and put down my pencil, finally looking at her. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t fireworks and bonfires generally require, you know, being outside?”

“Yes, I’m not an idiot. Mia is staying with her family while she’s on maternity leave, so we’ll have the garden all to ourselves. That is, if no one else snatches it up before us.”

“Mia… Remind me who she is again?” I asked, trying to place the name.

“Ground floor, ginger, really pale,” Emma reminded me.

“Ah, right, I remember now,” I nodded, returning to my notes. “It’s not a bad idea. But why are you suddenly suggesting this? You’ve never been interested in doing something like this before.”

“So I can have a proper talk with Roger about everything, and so you can spend some quality time with your ‘lover boy’ without alcohol or work getting in the way,” she explained a satisfied look on her face as she went back to writing her own notes.

Before I could utter a word, a faint knock echoed through the lecture room’s door. Professor Ross halted mid-sentence, making his way over to the door without diverting his gaze from the chalkboard.

“Yes?” he responded, his tone indifferent, as if he spoke to everyone based on his current mood rather than who was outside.

“Uhm, is this Professor Ross’ room?” I heard a muffled voice from the other side, unable to see the person behind it. “I’ve just moved here, and they told me this was the room.” The voice carried a distinct accent, but I couldn’t quite discern whether it was American or of another origin.

Professor Ross cast a quizzical look at the newcomer, raising an eyebrow. “Oh, you must be the exchange student. You’re late. Find a seat towards the back; that’s where the empty ones are. I’ll catch you up later.”

In walked a tall young man, sporting tousled blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. He donned a turtleneck jumper, flared jeans, and the latest Adidas releases. Navigating through the sea of curious gazes, he settled on the table next to Emma and me. Did we truly appear to be the only approachable individuals in the entire class?

He flashed us a quick smile before taking his seat, as Professor Ross resumed his lecture. Emma leaned towards him, seeking to strike up a conversation.

“Hi,” she whispered, capturing his attention.

He glanced at her and whispered back, “Hello,” his voice tinged with a hint of reticence.

“Where are you from?” Emma asked, exhibiting her trademark bluntness.

“Switzerland,” he replied simply, studying us intently. “I know my accent may sound a bit… American? Most of us do sound that way.”

“Ah, right. I’m Emma,” she introduced herself, extending her hand across me. He reciprocated the gesture, offering a friendly handshake. “And this is Maria.”

“I’m Cameron. Nice to meet you,” he nodded, gracing us with another smile. Leaning in slightly, his voice lowered. “Is he always this moody?” He gestured discreetly towards Professor Ross.

“Yes,” I answered, a hint of resignation in my voice. “Always.”

“Great. Maybe I should have stayed in Switzerland,” Cameron murmured, a touch of wry humour lacing his words.

The library was unusually quiet that day, with the hushed whispers of students and the occasional sound of turning pages filling the air. Emma had decided to head home for some piano practice during my study break, thinking she had a better chance at acing her exams than I did. I couldn’t help but feel a pang of envy, knowing I’d be lucky if I scraped by with a passing grade.

My mind struggled to comprehend the intricacies of management theory, and as I flipped through the pages of my textbook, I found myself stuck on page two-hundred-and-eighty-one, still grappling with the whys and hows of the industry. Desperately hoping for a breakthrough, I turned to the next page, only to be greeted with disappointment and frustration. The next two pages were missing, torn out by someone else who seemed to share my struggles.

Clutching my jaw tightly, I took a deep breath and slammed the book down beside me on the cosy sofa. I leaned back, slapping my hands over my face in exasperation. No matter how hard I tried, something always seemed to impede my path, making life unnecessarily difficult. Even a simple missing page felt like a significant obstacle standing in my way.

Suddenly, I felt the sofa next to me sink down, causing my body to tilt to one side. Startled, I kept my hands pressed against my face, feeling annoyance and disappointment course through me.

“Having a tough day, love?” The voice was so familiar, instantly recognisable. It would be foolish not to know who it belonged to.

Finally, I lowered my hands and was met with Brian’s concerned gaze. He had a stack of papers and a book in his hands, which he set down beside him. My heart fluttered at the sight of him, those butterflies swirling and dancing within me.

“What’s up?” His eyes locked with mine, brimming with both sympathy and genuine interest.

“I’m just…” I leaned my head back against the sofa, gazing up at the ceiling. “I’m trying so fucking hard to grasp with fucking topic, but the page I need is missing from the fucking book. I’m going to fail, and it’s fucking frustrating.” I closed my eyes, letting out a soft whimper of distress.

“Love, any more fucks and you’ll earn yourself quite the reputation,” Brian chuckled, his laughter sending a fresh wave of butterflies fluttering within me. “Let me take a look.”

I let out a sigh of relief and handed him the weighty book, still open to the page I had been struggling with. As he focused on the pages, his hazel eyes danced over the ink-splattered paper below, his mouth slightly ajar in concentration. I took this opportunity to observe him fully. Even his teeth seemed to possess a certain sharpness that I hadn’t noticed before. His bony knees peeked out from beneath his grey flared trousers, revealing the delicate structure of his kneecaps and cartilage. His tight white shirt, with its buttons undone, hugged his frame, the sleeves rolling just below his elbows. And his hair… I found myself gazing at his hair for what felt like an eternity. Each curl was meticulously placed, not a strand out of line. It framed his face perfectly, accentuating his godlike bone structure. In that moment, it hit me like a ton of bricks—he was the embodiment of perfection, and it had taken me until now to truly realise it.

“Maria…?” he finally spoke, his eyes still scanning the pages.

“Hmm?” I replied, still in a semi-trance.

“Have you checked the back page?” He glanced up at me, causing me to snap out of my daze, fearing he might have caught me staring. I took the book from his hands, noticing a mischievous smirk playing on his lips.

“Why would I check the back page?” I tried to brush off the embarrassment of being caught gawking at him.

“Because that’s where people often put pages that have been accidentally ripped out,” he replied, turning around to retrieve his stack of papers, placing them on his lap.

“Don’t be silly. They’d just staple it back in—Oh…” My frown deepened as I saw that he was right. Those two missing pages were indeed slipped into the back of the book by the previous borrower. “Thanks…” I glanced up at him, feeling a mix of gratitude and slight embarrassment.

“Not a problem.” He smiled, leaning back and opening the papers, grabbing a red pen. He also opened a book beside him, shifting his gaze between the book and the papers, making corrections in red ink.

“What are you doing?” I asked, scrunching my eyebrows in curiosity.

“Huh?” he responded, momentarily distracted. “Oh, this?” He looked down at the papers, scratching his chin. “Well, I do some part-time teaching for year nines to earn some extra money. I have a load of tests to mark.” He offered me a small smile. “Being an aspiring rockstar doesn’t pay the bills.”

“Not yet,” I playfully nudged him, causing a faint blush to colour his cheeks. “But, wow, teaching? I can barely tolerate my own brother, let alone a whole class of high schoolers,” I stifled a chuckle, glancing down at my book.

“It’s not so bad once you get the hang of it. They tend to pay more attention when they find out their teacher plays the guitar in a rock band,” he chuckled, continuing to mark the papers. “You have a brother?”

“I do,” I replied matter-of-factly. “The most annoying fourteen-year-old on the planet. Do I like him? Not really. Do I love him? Of course. But do I tolerate him when I have to? Absolutely.”

“I wish I had a brother or sister growing up. It was always a bit lonely as a child. But then again, it gave me more time to practice music and stargazing,” Brian mused, his voice tinged with a hint of nostalgia.

“Stargazing takes practice?” I asked, raising an eyebrow and looking at him curiously. His eyes widened in response.

“Naturally,” he replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world “You have to know the angles at which to look to spot different constellations. For example, a Cancer must know the right angle to view their constellation.”

“You’re a Cancer. That explains a lot,” I nodded knowingly.

“Yeah? How so?” he inquired.

“You’re compassionate and very optimistic, basic traits of a Cancer,” I explained.

“You believe in astrology?” he asked, sounding somewhat surprised.

“Don’t be surprised. Sometimes I have no other option but to rely on fate and whether or not it’s written in the stars. Gives me something to believe in, and religion doesn’t quite do it for me,” I replied.

“And you are a…?” he trailed off, waiting for my answer.

“Pisces,” I replied.

“Ahh…” Brian chuckled to himself, shaking his head.

“What?” I asked, mirroring his chuckle in curiosity.

“Nothing, love,” he finally looked up at me, leaning closer until our faces were just inches apart. “It’s just that you’re a sensitive little kitten, aren’t you?” He smirked playfully, seemingly unaware of the effect his closeness had on me.

“You seem to have it all figured out,” I whispered, unable to tear my gaze away from his lips. In that moment, they looked so incredibly inviting, until he pulled away.

“I definitely do, Maria,” he smiled innocently, returning his focus to the papers he was marking.

An hour passed, and my eyes were on the verge of exhaustion. Brian had subtly shifted our positions so that I was comfortably reclined against him, his arm wrapped around me. It felt incredibly comforting and made studying much less stressful and more bearable.

It became increasingly clear to me that Brian’s sensitivity and shyness were merely surface-level qualities that everyone saw. The more I got to know him, the more those layers peeled away, revealing a smooth-talking, irresistibly attractive man who still possessed a gentle and shy side. I just hoped that I was making the right decision in allowing him into my world.

“Brian?” I mumbled, my head resting against his bony collarbone.

“Hmm?” he responded, his voice filled with warmth.

“I was talking to Emma earlier. She suggested that we should have some kind of bonfire party. Like all of us—you, the boys, Mary, and Emma’s sister,” I looked up at him with anticipation.

His gaze shifted around, his eyes darting nervously before he strained his mouth into a compromised expression, nodding slowly. “That doesn’t sound like such a bad idea, love. Do you want to do that?”

“It’d be nice, I guess. It just isn’t my scene, though. I think fireworks are a bit… loud. Too loud. They set my anxiety off. But I still would love to see all of you.”

“Aww…” Brian cooed, lowering himself to plant a tender kiss on my hair. “Don’t worry. If the fireworks get too much for you, I’ll protect you.” He whispered, chuckling softly, and tightened his arm around me.

“Cliché, once again,” I rolled my eyes playfully. “But there’s another thing, Bri…” His eyebrows raised slightly when I called him by his nickname, but it felt so natural in our conversation that neither of us brought it up. “Is Roger okay?”

Brian’s relaxed face turned uncomfortable, and he nervously bit his lip. I furrowed my eyebrows, sitting up and turning to face him directly. “Brian?”

“He’s, uh… He’s fine. Been feeling a little stressed, I think.”

“Is it true that he’s dropping out?”

“Yeah, but… That’s not what’s stressing him out.” He glanced at me briefly before lowering his gaze to his papers, his expression blank.

“Then what is it? Emma is getting upset with him for not talking to her, and she’s getting stressed out herself. It’s hard seeing her like that, and—”

“He slept with someone else.”

I’m sorry, what?

With a sudden surge of anger, I propelled myself up from my previous position, no longer leaning on Brian at all. My brows knitted together in a display of pure rage, and Brian’s eyes widened in response, clearly taken aback. “I’m sorry, come again?” My voice rose sharply, further escalating Brian’s concern.

“Love, calm down, okay?” Brian leaned forward, his hands raised in a gesture of placation. “I-It’s… It’s normal.”

“Normal?!” I bellowed, my hand instinctively lashing out, narrowly missing Brian’s face. “How can that be a normal fucking thing to do? He’s literally cheated on my best friend! This is not okay!”

“Maria, please.” Brian pleaded, gripping my wrist tightly and drawing it closer to him. “Please, just listen to me.” He locked his gaze with mine, his eyes pleading for understanding. “Roger cannot control himself.” His voice quivered slightly as he took a shaky breath, his gaze momentarily dropping to our intertwined fingers. “It’s extremely rare for Roger to even give a woman a second look. It most likely meant absolutely nothing. Okay?”

“So… Am I just supposed to keep this from Emma then?” I asked, my voice laced with scepticism.

“Yes! Please… You cannot tell her a single word,” Brian’s voice lowered to a whisper, his head leaning closer to mine. “Promise me. Promise me, you won’t tell her about this.”

I scoffed, shaking my head and momentarily averting my gaze.

[senatushq]

NAME. Cruz Osorio AGE & BIRTH DATE. 34 & December 1st, 1989 GENDER & PRONOUNS. Male & He/Him SPECIES. Human ( Darkfriend ) OCCUPATION. Hunter FACE CLAIM. Alex Meraz

biography

( trigger warnings: parental abuse ) Cruz was the firstborn of two on a reservation in Mexico. His childhood had always felt insignificant to him, but the one his sister, Ximena, had mattered the most. The people around him were some of the best people he knew and he had always trusted them to watch over his sister without question. It hadn’t started early in his life, but his teenage years were some of the worst he could’ve had. He wasn’t even sure what had changed within his parents. Regardless of what it was, those people that watched his sister had come in handy. While she played with her friends, Cruz was getting whatever anger his parents felt taken out on him. It had all happened behind closed doors with nobody else on the reservation being none the wiser. If someone asked about a bruise, he would shrug it off and pretend he had gotten hurt playing. It was a vicious cycle where he tried to get his sister out of their home before he felt their anger really come to fruition.

It had been one day when he was sixteen where he had truly felt that it was his last straw. He had nowhere to go, but he knew he had to get him and his sister out of there. His father had lifted a hand towards Ximena and Cruz had been able to fight him off enough for him to grab his sister and leave. There were no words thrown to anyone as he had picked her up and ran through the reservation and away from the home that they had grown up in. Sixteen. That was how old he was when he ran away from home. His sister had only been ten years old and, even then, he knew her life was so much more important than his could ever be. If he couldn’t have a good life, he could only hope that she would be able to for his sake. That was all he could ever want and he made sure that he did everything he could so that it could actually come to fruition. Being a runaway was not easy for him or her though. It felt like there was a question every day as he tried to scrounge up money any way he could.

"Where are we going, Cruz?”

“I don’t know, Ximena.”

He never knew how to answer any of her questions. Cruz was desperate to get them overseas and then they would figure out a plan from there. Petty crimes would mean nothing to him as long as his sister was safe. That was all that had ever mattered to him. Anger always seemed to get the best of him though. Anyone ever looked at Ximena a certain way and it was always a problem. His sister hadn’t noticed it firsthand for a long time and he didn’t want her to know because he didn’t want to be a reminder of his parents. So he hid it as well as he could for as long as he could. The only thing that really took his thoughts of it was making sure he had money to take care of Ximena. They would’ve needed a miracle to get out of there though. And a miracle was what they had seemingly gotten. Unbeknownst to him at the time, it was a demon that had helped them get out of Mexico and to a new home in Rome. She had felt like a ghost at the time. She had helped them just enough to get to where they needed to go, but he had lost connection very quickly after that. It was something that stayed in his head for a long time, but he couldn’t focus on that. He had to make sure they found a home and a place to be safe.

Once they landed in Rome, he was back to petty crimes to make ends meet. A job wasn’t in the cards for him quite yet. He was only eighteen and he had a pseudo-kid with him that was only twelve years old. Cruz always felt bad that his sister hadn’t even been a teenager before he dragged her into this life. It stayed in the back of his mind like everything else did though. He could only hope that he was able to support Ximena the best that he could. In that same breath, it had felt like Rome was both a godsend and a curse. That anger that he had tried so hard to hide from his sister had reared its ugly head while they were at a gas station getting food for the night. She had been standing outside and someone had started messing with her. As soon as Cruz saw that hand rest on his sister’s shoulder, he was convinced he had blacked out. One second, he was in the store and then, in the next, he was outside beating the person’s face in. The only thing that had pulled him out of it was the sound of his sister’s scream.

"Cruz, stop!”

It had only taken him a few seconds to realize what had happened. His widened eyes had met his sister’s own scared ones as her hands rested on his face trying to pull him back together.

"I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

It was the one thing he had never wanted her to see and, before he knew it, he was being put in cuffs and brought into custody. They had brought Ximena, but he had lost track of her somewhere. She was only twelve. He could only hope that he got out of here and they were both able to be safe again. But then he thought maybe she would be better off without him. It was a thought that stayed in the back of his head for only a moment as he stared at the table in front of him. The person’s voice that had been in the room with him sounded muffled until they said her name. Ximena. His head had snapped up at the sound of her name as he listened to why it had been said in the first place. These people weren’t the police. He could make that deduction easily. It was then that he learned of both the Eye and the supernatural. All of those stories that had been told by the elders on the reservation felt like just stories that they told to kids as a cautionary tale so often that Cruz hadn’t believed any of them. But they were all real and the offer was clear to him. The answer was even clearer. Join the Eye, be trained by them, fight for them and they would take in both his sister and him. They would be safe and protected. It was an easy solution for his sister’s safety.

When he was able to go back to Ximena, they had hugged for so long that it felt like they had been separated for years. But they would never be separated now. They had security and protection that they had never had before. The Eye had given them that.

Training with the Eye had felt as easy as breathing for the both of them. He didn’t mind that his sister was brought into the fold because it was best that she be able to protect herself, be able to protect those that couldn’t protect themselves, too. Cruz had found it so easy to train with Ximena and he was sure that this was the first time either of them had truly ever been happy. All good things always came to an end though. Everything good in his life was always his sister. She was a light that he had not ever taken for granted. Twenty-two. Sixteen. Ximena had been sixteen when that very light that he had treasured above all else had been snuffed out. An out of control lycan had done more than take a bite out of her. Mauled and left as nothing more than a bloodied body, all that was good in the world for him had been snuffed out just like his sister’s life.

So he had become vengeful. He had become cold and he had become angry. Angrier than he had usually been because that was all that he felt he had left. Years and years of anger and he had never been able to recover from the loss of his sister. It took a hold of his very being to where he put everything he had into hunting down every species he could get his hands on. Anger was what fueled him now more than ever and it only made him angrier because that one emotion made him more like his parents than he ever wanted to be.

Eventually, death came knocking at his door though. Or what he had assumed was death. No matter what it was, that voice had given him a choice to be more than he had been, more than the Eye had made of him. Hunt. Kill. It was what he was doing already, but there was the one perk that came with it all. Undying. When he awoke, his head was firmly back on his shoulders and he had looked down at his hand to the scaling on it. Anger still flowed through his veins, but now it was replaced with even more of a desire to kill those supernatural beings that thought themselves better than others. Now he could have the strength to be unstoppable. And if he died? Well, he'd come back and try again. It was much more than his sister ever got and he would make sure Ximena still lived on through him. No matter the cost.

personality

+ adaptable, protective, perceptive - vengeful, temperamental, withdrawn

played by kenyer. est. she/her.

[mossflower]

pray tell. how does one tell the difference between platonic and romantic attraction.

[trippy-thot]

Can you do yandere Vance please!🤍

Yandere Vance Hopper

(Of Age Reader & Vance)

(Tw: Killing, Implied abuse, possessive tendencies.)

You’d know Vance for as long as you can remember.

Your parents were close friends, so typically the two of you had play dates when you were younger.

As a child, he was nothing similar to the way he is now.

He used to be kind and sympathetic. Caring and honest.

Not a possessive, hostile, ‘boyfriend’.

You’d had a lot of friends including Vance. But despite being childhood ‘besties’, they all started to disappear one by one.

Either they A: left you alone because Vance threatened them. Whether it be with their lives, or yours.

Or B: They didn’t get the hint and thought he was joking. He’d never kill you! But them? They were just getting in the way between the two of you.

You found out about this one day when you were looking for your new boyfriend.

You’d put a bit of a barrier between Vance and yourself for a while now. Mainly because you wanted to keep this relationship, and you really enjoyed your current boyfriend . He’d stuck around.

The two of you had planned to meet at a local bookstore downtown. It further into the alleys since the store itself was so old.

As you were walking past the buildings, you froze when you heard your name. Although it wasn’t directed at you.

“Stay the fuck away from (Y/n). Or I’ll snap your neck like a twig.” Then the sound of laughter.

“You think I’m scared of you, Vance? I’m not. But you know who is? (Y/n). My girlfriend. She’s terrified of you. Thinks you’ll end up hurting her. So I suggest-“

You full on sprinted into the alley besides you, yelling and scolding your boyfriend for being so Careless.

You never got to finish, due to the fact you watched Vance murder him in broad daylight.

He did in fact, snap your boyfriends neck like a twig. A very small one at that.

You stood there, petrified. You knew vance was strong but not enough to just casually break someone’s neck.

Vance took notice of you and sighed. “Look what you made me do. Now I have to get clean this up and-“

You simply let out a scream of bloody Murder, surely alerting someone nearby.

Vance ran to you, grabbing you by the waist and pushing your back into his chest. His hand around your neck. The neck that fit oh so perfectly into his grasp.

“Make another noise and you’re next. Got it? Doll.” He asked, pressing his fingers into your jugular.

Apparently your scream wasn’t as Loud as you thought it was, considering no one came to your rescue.

After a few moments of you hyperventilating, he turned your body to face him.

Your eyes were filled to the brim with tears, your neck already beginning to bruise. Vance shook his head and ran a thumb over your lip.

“This wouldn’t have happened if- Well, it would have either way but the point is that you caught me. Again.”

“Do you remember what happened last time? Huh?” You shook your head. Not to say no to the question, but no because you knew he’d hurt you even more-

“Well, I’ll make you remember then.” His voice was coarse and harsh. The last thing you remember seeing was His sadistic smirk, looking down at you before everything went black.

[lexissrosea]

all i need.

Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x Fem! Reader

summary: 2.7k. bradley decides to take a flight above the clouds to clear his head and remember old times.

warnings: terminally ill reader! mentions of heart failure, mentions of death, whole lotta angst, please read with caution!!

a/n: this is inspo'd from irl experiences TT also my first one-shot that i've written in like 6 yrs?? but yeah, bradley brain rot LOL any text that is italicized is a flashback but i'm sure yall know the drill

There was nothing like the hot summer sun that beat through the windshield of Rooster’s aircraft. Aside from being a fighter pilot, Rooster spent his free time flying privately at a local flight academy that allowed him to use their planes as he pleased. Whenever he needed to clear his head or blow off some steam, flying was the best way to do so. It made him feel more connected to his father—and, of course, friends he had lost along the way. 

As the plane ascended into the air, Rooster glanced to the side of him, his eyes lingering on the empty seat. A feeling of yearning ached in his chest as he shook his head, looking ahead once more. His chest rose as he took in a sharp breath of air only to release it seconds later through pursed lips. 

‘You.. You should be here with me.’ He thought to himself as he looked at the sky. ‘How I would’ve loved to fly alongside you.’ 

As Rooster’s plane climbed to 6,000 feet, he did as he usually would, which was trim the plane out and set the power to allow his plane to go into ‘cruise mode’. Although he was enjoying the flight, the ache that had disturbed him earlier was still stretching across his entire torso. At the time of his father’s death, he was so young that he didn’t understand exactly what his mother was going through. Rooster couldn’t imagine losing a partner at that age, nor could he imagine losing the love of his life. Throughout his childhood, Rooster watched his mother struggle to take care of him on her own. Knowing exactly what he wanted to do with his life, he knew that he never wanted to allow himself to get close to any woman, for fear of hurting them just like how his mother was hurt. 

But, there you were, standing outside that restaurant with the most gorgeous dress on and tears in your eyes. Rooster was driving home late one night after going to the store to pick up tomatoes for dinner. As he stopped at the red light, he noticed you in all your glory. Rooster couldn’t help but admire the way the dress hugged your body perfectly, or how your eyes twinkled with curiosity. Was it the tears or just your personality? He didn’t know. All he knew was that he had to talk to you. 

And, that’s exactly what he did. 

Through your conversation, he learned that you had waited in that restaurant for more than two hours. Your date had ditched you last minute, and it was the first time in months that you had decided to dress yourself up. Rooster, being the gentleman he is, gladly forgot about his spaghetti and lead you back into the restaurant, ready to give you the date of a lifetime. He wasn’t dressed appropriately for a high-end dinner, but heavens you were, and that’s all that mattered to him. From there, the rest was history. 

He wasted no time introducing you to all the Top Gun folk, as well as Maverick who couldn’t stop telling you all about Rooster’s embarrassing kid stories, much to Rooster’s dismay. You learned all about his history including his dad, his time training, and the mission that they had gone on. You were always amazed by his stories, no matter how big or little. 

Rooster was sure that you’d be the woman he’d marry. 

Or at least that’s what he hoped. 

“Bradley, I’m fine, really—Bradley, c’mon, look at me, please.”

Bradley sat in the corner with his head in his hands. His eyes stared coldly at the tile floor as the smell of the hospital room consumed his senses. He felt as though his senses were going numb and although he didn’t want to be upset with you, he was. Who knew that instead of being in his father’s position, he’d be in his mother’s, fearing for his partner’s life. 

You watched as his head slowly picked up, his dark brown eyes meeting yours. In his eyes were a bundle of emotions that you read so vividly. Fear, frustration, resentment. Your body stilled as he sluggishly moved from the stool in the corner to the chair that sat next to your bedside. 

You had been experiencing extreme chest pains and your heart was beating rapidly. It felt like the walls were closing in on you. It wasn’t the first time that you had experienced these symptoms, but usually, when they’d come about, they weren’t as extreme. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t control your breathing, and each breath came as quick as it left. When Bradley found you, you were hunched over the counter, unable to speak or even look at him due to the pain. Almost immediately, he rushed you to the E.R. and that was how you found yourselves in this situation. 

The doctors were running blood work on you to see what the problem was while you and Bradley were forced to wait in agonizing dread. 

You felt his large, calloused hands entangle themselves with your own as he laid his head on the side of your bed. He continued to stay quiet, but his hands squeezed your own every few seconds. You could tell that his eyes were studying your every move as a sigh escaped his throat. 

“Bradley, honey, I’m sorry for scaring you,” you frowned, gently rubbing your thumb over the backside of his hand. 

Bradley let out a deep exhale, “It’s not your fault, darlin’. I was just.. I was terrified. The look of pain on your face, it just—I don’t wanna lose you, (y/n). Please don’t let me lose another person.” 

You watched as tears threatened to fall from his glassy eyes and guilt filled you to the brim. Amid the chaos, you had completely forgotten how bad this truly affected him. Although it was slightly painful to do so, you brought your other arm around to lift his head. Leaning forward, you laid a chaste kiss on his forehead, your lips lingering in that spot for just a moment. 

“I’m not leaving you, Bradley,” you said, a small smile tugging at the corner of your lips, “besides, we have our whole future ahead of us. You still haven’t put a ring on this finger, y’know?” Your teasing tone caused a smirk to grace his features. 

“Well, I guess I’m just gonna have to get you a ring then, right, darlin’?” He chuckled as he kissed your knuckles, being careful of the IV needle that you were hooked up to. His voice came out like a low hum as he continued to squeeze your hand, “What do you want for our future, honey?” 

Your eyes widened at his question. “What do I want? Well, I… If we get married—”

“Uh, uh, not if. When.” Bradley corrected, clicking his tongue at you. 

You rolled your eyes, “Yes, honey, when we get married, I wanna have our ceremony at the beach. The one near the restaurant where we first met.. And, I want all of our friends to be there, like Jake or Tash. Oh! We can’t forget Mav, Maverick definitely needs to be at our wedding.” You exclaimed. 

Bradley couldn’t help but chuckle at your excited expression. “Darlin’, of course, they’re gonna be there. What about music? Your dress? Hey, I think I’ll wear one of my Hawaiian shirts. Which one did you like? The Navy blue one with the white flowers, right?” 

“That is my favorite… But, you’re not wearing your Hawaiian shirts to our wedding.” You giggled as he pulled a surprised face. “And as for music, hm… I always love when you sing that one song, the all I need one.” 

“Oh, you mean this one?” He smirked as suddenly, both his hands enclosed around your own. Bradley started in a low hum, his voice singing the tune. “You’re all I need to get by… You’re all I want, love, in my life…” 

You smiled as he sang ever so lovingly toward you, his eyes shining with joy with every word that melodically left his mouth. You always loved when Bradley sang, and you’d never miss a chance to sit on his lap at the Hard Deck and yell the lyrics to ‘Great Balls of Fire’ whenever he played. In moments like these, it was like all stress left the window. It didn’t matter what was happening or what emotion was running through the two of you. All it took was a little bit of Bradley’s ‘singing magic’ to uplift your spirits. 

As his humming became a little less coherent and dragged at the end of the phrases, Bradley looked into your eyes. 

“You’re gonna be beautiful walking down that aisle one day, future Mrs. Bradshaw,” he murmured, playing with your fingertips. “Then, we’ll get a nice big house together and have a couple of mini Bradshaws running around, what do you think?” 

“Oh, Bradley,” you giggled. But, just as the laugh left your mouth, you felt a question stirring around your mind. “Hey, honey… You think you’ll ever take me flying one day?” 

“Flying?”

“Yeah, you ever gonna take me up in one of those big planes you fly?” You whispered, a joking tone to your voice. 

Bradley only shook his head, taking his large hand and ruffling it against the top of your head. “You just focus on getting better, darlin’. Then, we can talk about flying you up in a plane.” 

A knock at the door interrupted the two of you as a doctor peaked their head through the door. The doctor quietly asked for Bradley to follow them outside the door while shooting a small smile your way. Bradley’s face was riddled with worry, but he gave you a gentle peck on the lips and followed suit after the doctor. 

As the door closed, the doctor looked at the clipboard in their hand with a frown. 

“Mr. Bradshaw, our tests came back for Ms. (l/n), and it looks like, unfortunately, Ms. (l/n) has developed advanced heart failure. We are currently unsure of the causes, but it looks like Ms. (l/n) has a history of high blood pressure and that could be a factor in her diagnosis.”

Bradley could feel the blood drain from his face at the doctor’s words. That couldn’t have been true. Not you, he couldn’t lose you. You were in perfect health. Why? Why now? Why after talking about everything that the two of you wanted to do together? Why was he receiving this news now? Why was it even happening? 

The doctor carefully, but cautiously, laid a soothing hand on Bradley’s shoulder as their frown deepened. “I understand that this is a very unfortunate and sudden situation. If we were able to get to the bottom of this issue sooner, she wouldn’t have been so far along. But, at the stage we are at now, it is best that we provide you with options that can make Ms. (l/n) comfortable.” 

Bradley knew exactly what the doctor meant by making you comfortable. He wasn’t even sure what to say. 

“How much time does she have?”

“It could be six months or less. We recommend that you spend as much time with her as possible.”

Rooster felt his eyes glaze over as he recounted the memories. How devastated you were to hear the news, and you couldn’t stop crying apologies into his chest. The plane continued to soar high over the town of Miramar and as Rooster looked down at the houses, he subconsciously began humming. 

The air was cold, the room was dim, and the only sound that could be heard was the machine that kept your body alive. You didn’t have six months, you didn’t even have one month. In two weeks, you had suffered a heart attack after you and Bradley went out to get groceries. Although you weren’t supposed to exert yourself because of your condition, and despite Bradley’s protests, you went to the store with him anyway. But, you underestimated just how much strain that would put on your body. 

Just like the first time, Bradley had walked into the kitchen and dropped everything that he was holding. Instead of finding you hunched over the counter, he found you flat on your back, your chest still with no movement. 

He rushed to your side, immediately dialed 911, and began to do compressions. It wasn’t until thirty minutes later did paramedics show up at the door. Your unconscious body was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance that Bradley had followed swiftly. When you had finally arrived, Bradley wasn’t allowed to follow you. Instead, he was placed in the hospital’s ‘quiet room’ where he contacted not only your shared friends but your parents as well. 

When Bradley had heard the severity of the situation, he felt as though his entire world came crashing down on him. You were too young, he still had so many things he wanted to do with you. 

After three days of being on life support, tonight would be your last. 

Everyone had gathered at your bedside, all there to say their goodbyes, but as well be there for their friend. Bradley hadn’t slept in days, and it was obvious in the dark circles that accumulated beneath his dull eyes. Not only had he not slept in days, but he refused to leave your bedside. Maverick was forced to bring food up from the hospital’s cafeteria to make sure that Bradley was eating enough. He would never sleep on the bench to the side. He was always right next to you, holding your hand, singing your favorite songs, talking to you as if you could respond. He was desperate for your voice, desperate for your touch, and desperate for that smile that he adored so much. 

He felt a hand lay against his shoulder as his eyes groggily looked up to see who it was. It was none other than Jake. But, instead of that charming—most times arrogant—smile, he held a sullen frown laced upon his lips. 

“It’s time.” 

Bradley wiped away his tears as he noticed the nurse standing to the side, ready to shut off the machines and take out the tubes. He couldn’t bear to watch the scene unravel, so he quietly excused himself and told the gang to alert him when it was all over. Bradley knew that after the tubes were taken out, it would be time to play the waiting game. 

When it was time for him to come back into the room, he grabbed his phone from his back pocket and played the song that he knew you loved. As the melody came in, everyone watched him curiously. 

“Hey, darlin’, you remember this song? This is our song… This was gonna be our song,” he choked out, tears already forming in his eyes as he grasped your face. “I.. I can’t sing as well as I usually do… Sorry, honey. But, I’m gonna… I’m gonna try.” 

Bradley caressed your face gently, imaging that you were still around, that you were still conscious. “You’re amazing.. M..My life’s never felt so right… I love you..” He sang through a croaky throat as tears streamed down his face. 

“Darlin’, I’m gonna love you forever,” Bradley cried, leaning his head into your chest. 

The group came around and rubbed Bradley’s back, letting him know that they were there. But, all he wanted was for you to wake up, to look at him once more with those beautiful eyes. 

Bradley never left your side, and he stayed until you took your last breath. 

Occasionally, Rooster would look down at his chest and smile. The thumbprint urn pendant hung proudly around his neck, along with your engagement ring that he bought just days before your accident. 

“You see that, darlin’? You see the view..? It’s not a jet, but…” Bradley’s voice trailed off as he frowned. “I… I really miss you, (y/n).” 

As he looked towards the sun, he was reminded of your shining smile and the twinkle of your eyes, just like that night he had met you. 

Rooster allowed one hand to stray away from the control handle and instead, caress the pendant with his thumb. A smile found its way to his lips as he looked at the clouds ahead. 

“Now, you’ll get to protect me on every flight I take, darlin’,” he chuckled, “Say hi to mom and dad for me.”

a/n: aaa i hope yall enjoyed that because it was a spontaneous idea i got in the middle of the night. if anyone's wondering the name of the song, it's 'all i need' by the green :)

[lqvesoph]

jealous - jude bellingham

gif by @masnmount

masterlist

Summary: You’re BVB’s physio, when one day your boyfriend shows up with ankle injury you have to inform your friend Daniel, of who Jude is not a fan at all

fluff, jealous, whiney and adroble Jude

“Y/n? We need your help”, you heard Gio’s voice from afar. “Why, what- Oh my god”, you stopped mid-sentence when you saw your boyfriend and his best friend walk in. Jude’s left knee was open and bleeding badly, on top of that was he limping.

“Jude, what the-!”

“I got tackled”, Jude explained when you motioned him to sit down on the stretcher.

“You don’t say”, you mumbled, catching a half-annoyed glance from your boyfriend which quickly turned into a painful one. “It hurts!”, he whined.

“G, explain explicitly how this happened”, you demanded while inspecting Jude’s leg. “He had the ball and- uhm and Erling took it away by tackling him”, he said. “Erling? No wonder you got hurt, that man shouldn’t even be allowed to do that”, you chuckled, knowing how bad he was at tackling and secondly knowing that if he got it right, the other person would be knocked out.

“Uhm, anyways, it was a normal training situation…”, he added, avoiding to look at you. “You were messing around, weren’t you?” “Yes, we were”, he gave in. “Gio!”, Jude protested, shaking his head while looking at his best friend.

“You both now I’m a physio and not a medic. I take care of the injury after this part”, you sighed. “Jude was determined to come to you, he was on the verge of tears”, Gio cracked a short smile, which was quickly whipped away again when Jude decided to throw the bottle of sanitizer at him that you brought.

“Bellingham!”, you raised your voice a bit, giving him a sharp look whereupon he sunk back on the stretcher.

“It’s nothing bad right, just the bleeding?”, he spoke up after a few minutes of silence. You had cleaned the wound and whipped away the blood. “From what I can tell your knee is alright, I don't know about that ankle though, but like I said I’m no medic”, you said, smiling at him at the last few words. “I know”, Jude smiled.

“You can put pressure on it right? Walking is fine?”, you asked your boyfriend but from the way he looked at you, you knew it was not so fine.

“Stand up”, you demanded, grabbing one of his hands to help him.

Naturally he put his other arm around your shoulder to help him steady himself. You watched Jude’s face carefully to see any slight emotion when his foot touched the ground. Over time you were trained to do that as many lie about their well-being and just say they’re fine, Jude being one of them. But you had always been very good at reading him, even before you started dating. He didn’t speak but the silent said enough.

“I’ll get Daniel”, you muttered, referring to your best friend who was a medic at Dortmund. Daniel was the first to really accept you into the staff, when you came to Dortmund. Most of the others were skeptical at how a girl at the little age of 18 could get a job at such a big club. Not Daniel though, he took you in gently and you two started to spend more and more time together, ending in you being best friends.

“Hallihallohallöchen!”, Daniel swung into the room with way too much energy before noticing the atmosphere. “Oh.”

“Hey, Dan”, you cracked a smile. “He got himself injured”, you said, pointing at your boyfriend who was sitting behind you on the stretcher. “Erling did”, Jude spoke up. “Where even is he?”, you questioned.

“Where does it hurt, my boy”, Daniel asked in the worst British accent you’ve ever heard. Even Gio had to smile a little. “Ankle”, Jude responded dryly, not impressed by Daniel’s attempt. He wasn’t a huge fan of his since he's got the impression you two were 'a bit too close' which was obviously not the case.

“Why did you come to her with that? She’s a physio”, Daniel asked, giving Jude a confused look. “Cause she’s my girlfriend”, Jude replied provocative, eyes not leaving Daniel. You and Gio shared an amused glance, both of you finding it hilarious how jealous Jude was.

“We gotta give this a scan, I don’t think it’s broken though, maybe sprained”, he concluded. Jude already reached out for your hand, wanting you to hold him steady. “You can go back to training, Gio”, you told him. “And tell Erling that I need to speak to him!”, you smirked. “Angry girlfriend alert?”, Gio asked when he was already a few steps away. “More like angry physio alert”, you laughed, waving when he disappeared outside.

You wrapped one arm around Jude’s waist while his rested on your shoulders. Daniel scanned his ankle and then left to look at the printed pictures.

You slightly nudged Jude’s ribs. “Don’t be jealous, there’s no need to be”, you smiled, stroking his cheek. “He’s-“ “Shhhh”, you interrupted him by putting a finger on his lips. Then you leaned up a bit for your lips to meet in a soft kiss.

“Y’all are adorable”, Daniel smiled when he reentered the room. Jude groaned against your lips and let his head fall to your shoulder. You nudged him to sit up straight again.

“Dein Knöchel ist nicht gebrochen, wie ich gesagt habe. Es ist nur eine leichte Verstauchung, du wirst also nur für eine Woche ausfallen“, Daniel told him, speaking very fast and trying to hide his smirk. Jude looked at him and blinked a few times. Helplessly his gaze found yours. You had to surpass you laughers as well and when Jude mumbled a little “What?” you and Daniel broke out in laughers.

“Love, that’s not funny!”, he groaned. “It kinda is though”, you smirked, bopping his nose. “Your ankle isn’t broken, it’s just sprained and you’ll be out for only a week”, you translated Daniel’s words for him.

Even though you lived in Germany, until you were 14 you were raised in England as your mum was English. When she got an offer here in Dortmund, your parents moved with you and your little siblings to Germany where your dad was originally from. It wasn’t hard for you to adapt to the new environment as you were raised bilingual.

“Thank you”, Jude whispered to you. “Shouldn’t you go back to work?”, he asked Daniel a lot rougher and wrapped his arm around you tightly. “I’m already gone, bye”, Daniel smirked and disappeared.

“Give him a break, please, he’s my friend”, you said, looking directly into Jude’s deep brown eyes. “He’s totally interested in you! I mean I can’t blame him you’re a goddess but you’re mine”, he pouted. You couldn’t help but smile. Jude with his almost whiny tone and the cute little pout, was adoringly sweet. You pressed a quick kiss to his pouted lips before stroking his cheek.

“I can assure you he’s not interested in me.” “How are you so sure?”, Jude wanted to know. “Because he is my best friend, my brother and besides, I am with you, the most perfect person in this whole world. Why would I want him?”, you simpered and kissed him gently.

“So, you think I’m better than him?”, Jude wanted to know after he disengaged himself from you.

“Jude Bellingham!”, you laughed, pushing him away from you and making him smile as well. He reached for your wrists and pulled you closer again so he could wrap his arms around your waist. You did the same and buried your head in the cook of his neck. After a few minutes of silence Jude spoke up.

“You think he could be interested in Marie? They’d be a really good match.”

“Jude!”

[supernaturalgirl20]

Hello Friend, I’m back with idea for another Frankie story.

Dating Frankie is a dream isn’t it? But what if he do not want us, his gorgeous chubby girl, introduces to his friends? Little bit angst ✨

Us thinking he is ashamed of us and he thinking that if she met them she would fall for them instead of him because he still do not understand how she can date him, even they are not too deep in their relationship. Santiago is the one who has successful business, Benny is great fighter and Will is the most handsome fit guy and charming as a bonus. But we want to meet people who are important to Frankie because we wanted the relationship to work not to flirt with his friends. Maybe a little for fun but never to hurt our bby Frankie.

In the end they both find out they are idiots in love.

✨✨✨

Am I happy to follow up on Frankie and his girl? Yes 🙌 thank you nonnie 🥰 sorry this took so long hope you enjoy ☺️

Insecurities

Part 2 to Want to get outta here?

Pairings: Frankie Morales x f!reader

Warnings: Smut 18+, explicit, PinV sex, fingering, insecurities, angst, Frankie being a dick, cursing, fluff.

Comments and reblogs really appreciated 🥰

That night at the bar had changed everything. You’d met the love of your life, it that he knows that yet - you have been too afraid to say anything. He had told you about all his past relationships - about how they nearly all cheated on him, leaving him broken-hearted. You wouldn’t do that.

Frankie kept his word after that night and brought you on your first date the following weekend - dinner at his favourite restaurant in town, followed by a night of amazing sex. God that man worshipped you. You’ve never known pleasure like it. It didn’t matter that you had thicker thighs than most girls or you had belly rolls - that man fucking loved it. Frankie made you feel like you were the prettiest girl around. Life was great.

This weekend was gonna be your six-month anniversary and you wanted to organise something to celebrate. A BBQ at Frankie’s place would be perfect, it would also double up as you meeting his friends for the first time - something you had been pushing for, for quite some time.

When you first broached the subject, Frankie had stiffened below you and gave you some shitty excuse about them being super busy; one you didn’t believe. Haven got their numbers from his phone last week, you proceeded to text them - inviting them over this Saturday - and they all got back with a resounding, yes. You just hoped this didn’t backfire.

***

Giving everything a once over, a knock on Frankie’s front door startles you. You take a deep breath trying to quell the nerves that racked through you. Your hand slowly reaches for the handle and when you open the door, you're pulled into a tight hug.

“Well look at you beautiful, where the fuck has Fish been hiding you?”

“Jesus Benny, will you put her down? Hi, I’m Will and this shithead is my baby brother Benny.” Once Benny puts you down you proceed to shake Will’s hand. “It’s nice to finally meet you,” you say as you close the door behind them. “Santi should be here soon, he just finished up work.”

“Perfect. I hope Frankie doesn’t mind that I organised all this, it’s our six-month anniversary and I wanted to meet you guys.” Benny fishes around the fridge for beer and Will makes his way outside to help set up the BBQ. “We’ve been asking a fish to meet you for ages but it’s always ‘yeah soon’ shit like that.”

Your doubts and insecurities begin to seep into your bones again. What if doesn’t want you to meet his friends? What if he’s embarrassed by you? What if he doesn’t think your relationship is as serious as you? Benny hands you a beer and you quickly shake those thoughts from your head.

“Want me to start up the grill?” Will asks as he takes a slug of his beer. “Oh, yeah that would be great actually. Thank you.”

“No problem.” The sound of a car pulling up catches everyone’s attention and Benny's face breaks out into a huge smile. “That would be Santi, I’ll let him in.” Oh! The nerves were back. This was Frankie’s best friend. What if he didn’t like you?

The sound of laughter filters through the hall and you find yourself looking for something to do so you head out back to join Will. He’s nice. Easy to talk to and he proceeds to ask how you like your steak when the sound of Benny’s loud voice breaks the conversation.

“Look who finally decided to show up.” Santi pulls Will into a hug before pulling back and locking eyes with you. “This beautiful creature must be Y/N. Frankie has told me so much about you. It's nice to finally meet you,” he says, pulling you into a hug. “He loves you, you know.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” you say as your cheeks heat. “No, trust me, he does. I’ve never seen him this happy.”

“What the fuck is going on?” Everyone turns to the patio door where Frankie now stands. His face is blank, eyes cold but anger seeps off him in waves. He’s pissed.

“I invited the guys over, I hope you don’t mind, I just wanted to…” you stop when Frankie closes his eyes, pinching the bright of his nose as he lets out a huff of frustration. Santi, feeling the tension walks over to Frankie and claps him in the back, “come on Fish, Will has the food almost cooked. Grab a beer and take a seat.”

Frankie nods and heads inside to grab a beer before coming back outside and taking a seat. His eyes avoid you the entire time and he takes a seat beside Santi, leaving you to sit beside Benny.

“Grubs up.”

***

A worrisome feeling settles in your stomach as everyone sits and eats. The guys are all lovely and they include you in conversation as much as possible but Frankie still hasn’t looked at you. He’s never behaved like this with you and you feel nauseous at the thought that you’ve done something wrong.

Shuffling out of your seat, you offer to grab more beers and quickly make your way inside releasing a breath you didn’t know you were holding. You take the beers out of the fridge and a deep voice startles you. “What the hell is going on? Why did you invite them here?”

“It’s our six-month anniversary and I just thought it would be nice to meet your friends, I….”

“Don’t you think if I wanted you to meet them, I would have done it already? How did you even get their numbers?” His words cut you like a knife and the way he’s looking at you - like you’ve broken his trust somehow, he might as well grab the knife and twist it in your gut.

“I got them from your phone last weekend when you were making dinner. Frankie, I didn’t think it…” He laughs then, but it’s not his usual warm hearty laugh. It’s almost sinister.

“That’s the problem isn’t it, you didn’t think. What, you thought you could bring my friends over and wear a skimpy dress like that and maybe get their attention? Is that it?”

Your heart is beating wildly in your chest. This isn’t the Frankie you know and love. He would never speak to you like this. “What? No! Frankie, I would never…”

“Save it. If you want to fuck one of them, go ahead. I saw you flirtin’ with Pope when I walked in, maybe he can fuck you just how you like.” He had started moving toward you now and you hadn’t realised he had backed you into the corner of the counter.

You try to calm him, moving your hand out to gently touch his chest but he grabs your wrist stopping you. “You're just like the others. Use me until something better comes along.”

“Frankie, I love you. I don’t want anyone else.” You try to convey all your emotions through the warmth on your face but his eyes are glazed over with anger. He isn’t listening to reason tonight.

“Hey man, that’s enough! Y/N only wanted to meet us and she wasn’t flirting with me. She had eyes for you.” Frankie turns around with a snarl on his face and points his finger at Santi. “You always want what you can’t have, Pope. It was the same with Sophia back in high school.”

You can’t take any more of this as the tears begin to spill down your cheeks. You move out of the kitchen while Frankie is distracted and grab your coat and bag and leave. He won’t even notice I’m gone.

“Fuck Fish that was years ago and technically she was mine first. I wasn’t after Y/N, and even if I was, she loves you, man. Lord knows why if this is how you behave around her, but she’s not like the others. She’s besotted by you and the only one you can’t see is you.”

“Guys!” Frankie and Santi continue to argue until Benny shouts louder. “Guys!”

“What?” They both say in unison. “She’s gone.”

“Fuck! What have I done?”

***

You’d taken your car and driven out to the lake, to the spot where Frankie had taken you one time on a date. You just needed to clear your head.

He’s never been like this before. You knew about his past. About all his exes and about his time in the army. About his cocaine usage. None of it mattered. Not until now at least. Did he not trust you?

Tears run down your cheeks as a sob escapes your throat. The moon is high in the sky tonight and it shines off the water. It’s beautiful.

“You’re beautiful.” You gasp as Frankie’s deep voice startles you. When the fuck did he get here? You turn away from him, eyes fixed on the water. He’d hurt you and you couldn’t look at him right now.

He slowly approaches and sits down on the grass beside you. You can feel his gaze burning a hole into the side of your face but you refuse to look at him. “I’m sorry baby. I…didn't mean anything I said back there…I-I just…fuck. I just came home and I saw you talking to Pope and you were laughing and I just…I saw all my exes and how they all cheated and I saw red.”

“You don’t trust me, Frankie. I don’t think you ever have and this won’t work if we don’t have trust.” Panic sets in and Frankie moves closer, his hand grazing the skin on your thigh. “Baby please…I-I don’t deserve you. That’s the truth. You are too good for me and I’m scared you’re gonna wake up one day and realise that.”

Taking a deep breath you turn your head towards him and you can see the sadness in his eyes as they look about towards the water. “Is that why you never wanted me to meet the guys?”

“I thought that if you met them that you would see what a fuck up I am and leave me. Any of them is a better catch than me.” You're still hurt and you don’t think it’s going to be this easy to get over but you love him so much and he has deep insecurities.

Reaching your hand out you cup his cheek and turn his face towards you. “Frankie, I love you. I don’t know how to make it any clearer, you’re it for me. I want to marry you and buy a bigger house somewhere and have babies. I know those other girls made you like you were good enough and that they broke your heart. But Frankie you’re enough.”

His lips crash onto yours and his hands wrap around your waist pulling you close. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles into your lips. “I’m sorry….I’m sorry,” his lips trail along your cheek and down your neck. “I love you, baby. So fucking much and if you can forgive me for being a dick, I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”

“The rest of your life Huh?” He nods his head and pulls you in for another kiss. “What you said hurt Frankie but I do love you so I’m willing to keep trying.”

“That’s more than I deserve. Now baby, let’s go home and I’ll introduce you to the guys properly.”

***

Frankie didn’t let you out of his sight the rest of the night as you laughed at the stories the guys told of Frankie on the base. His cheeks were tinged pink as they embarrassed him but you reached out and grabbed his hand squeezing tight in reassurance.

He tugged on your arm and pulled you into his lap, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. You wiggled your ass in his lap trying to get comfortable and are shocked when he moans loudly into your skin. “Baby, you gotta stop moving that fine ass over my cock or I’ll take you here and now.”

Heat began to form in your stomach as he gripped your hips tight. His fingers slide up under your dress towards your clothed cunt and he moans again at the feel of your wetness. “Fuck baby you’re so wet. This for me?”

You nod your head unable to speak and his fingers push your panties aside and slip inside your aching heat. Biting your lip - trying hard to keep quiet as he works you with his fingers.

“Good girl. Don’t want the guys to know what we’re doing now do we?” Your eyes flicker around the table and you're thankful the guys seem to be deep in conversation that they don’t notice. “Gonna make you come on my fingers then I’m gonna take you inside and fuck you good.”

His fingers work in and out of your cunt curling slightly as his thumb rubs your bundle of nerves. A tingle works its way up your spine and your heart beats faster and faster the closer you come to your release.

Your hand grins the arm of the chair tight and you struggle to keep your eyes open as you feel the beginnings of your climax. You want to scream. Scream his name so fucking loud but you can’t and oh fuck…

Your body shudders in his lap as you come hard. Your vision, blurring as pleasure courses through you. “Good girl.” His fingers slip out of you and he brings them to his lips sucking your juices off them.

Standing, you excuse yourself and make your way into the kitchen to grab a glass of water. His hands wrapped around your waist startle you and you can feel his hard cock against your ass.

“That was so fucking hot baby. Wanna fuck you now though. Will you let me? Will you let me fuck right here where the guys could walk in any moment and catch us?”

“Yes! Fuck Frankie please…” You can feel his grin against the skin of your neck as he bites into it. “Please what baby?”

“Fuck me.” He quickly undoes his belt and pulls his trousers and boxers down bunching at his knees as he rips your panties off. “Hey! Those were my favourite.”

“I’ll buy you a new pair.” He runs the tip of his cock along your slit coating it in your juices before lining up and thrusting inside you. You both moan as he fills you. There’s a slight burn from the stretch but he gives you a minute to adjust.

You move your ass back against him, urging him to move. His hands grip your hips as he thrusts up into you. His cock moving in and out of your tight heat, the sounds of your joint moans and the squelch of your cunt the only sound you hear.

“Fuck mi amor…never gonna get used to how tight you are. So fucking good…” His hand snakes around to your clit and he begins to rub circles as you feel that heat radiating through you. “Oh fuck Frankie…”

“That’s it, baby…come for me…Mierda…need you to come…I’m not gonna last…” His movements on your clit become more frantic and with a cry of his name you come around him. The feeling of your cunt pulsating around him sends him over the edge as he spills inside you. The thought of you becoming round with his child sends him into a frenzy.

His head rests between your shoulders as you both calm your breathing. “That was amazing.”

“Is it safe to come in now? I need to use the toilet.” The sound of Benny’s voice has you both pulling away quickly and dressing. “You can come in now.” Benny walks in with a huge smirk on his face. “Your fly is undone Fish.” He says as he moves towards the bathroom. Frankie looks down quickly realising he was taking the piss.

“Idiota.”

***

If any of the others heard, they didn’t say anything and the rest of the night passed quickly. “Alright man, time we head on out. Y/N it was lovely to finally meet you. Fish you got a good one.”

“I know.” He says as he pulls you into his side, his hand resting on your hip. When everyone is gone and you’ve both tidied up a bit you make your way to bed. Frankie pulls you into his side, his fingers running along your bare back as he stares up at the ceiling.

“What ya thinking about?” You say as you play with the hair on his chest. “Hmm?”

“You look lost in thought.” He turns on his side so he faces you, his hand resting over you. “Move in with me?”

“What?” You dart your eyes between his looking for something but all you see is sincerity. “I want you to move in with me. Hell, I’d ask you to marry me if I thought you’d say yes. I wanna spend my life with you and I love waking up in the mornings to have you cuddled into my side.”

Ok. Yeah I’ll move in with you. Also if you were to ask me to marry you someday, I’d say yes.” He kisses you softly before resting his head against yours. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

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