#the new era ruined both of those things for me i think

[akilliosacheron]

well jenkins won my poll from a while ago so i guess its my time to talk about jenkins. lemme kinda go back to the beginning about it.

So, Season 12 is when i started being a blaseball fan. I officially on the site roll up to the canada moist talkers on the election sunday that the big siesta starts so im out here like what the fuck is going on while my pal corvoda is a decent bit more interested than i am at that point but i digress.

I miss the coffee cup and related events and i finally start showing my face in the discord, i think i got started on jenkins because i had stumbled across some of the blaseball rp twitters and wanted to join in, so i picked a blaseball player who didn't have a twitter at the time which was jesús and jenkins and i picked jenkins.

there is a message specifically telling me that jenkins doesnt get much love compared to other players on the team and lemme tell you, i took that PERSONALLY.

the first couple things i learned about jenkins was assorted stuff from their wiki. Flaming eye, gamer, and from greer's wiki i think i learned that jenkins and greer were.... something. relationship something.

after a while, i took a crack at making a jenkins interp that combined two other interps i had seen, big lizardy jenkins and mostly humanoid jenkins and ended up with salamander jenkins, eventually switching over to leopard gecko jenkins.

the thing that both entertained me and made me sad is that nothing ever really happened to jenkins. this player who i loved so much didnt recieve a stat buff till late expansion, despite being active with the same stat total since s4 election. sure they got crows mod but rarely did they play in bird weather just cuz of how weather works.

if i can be salty a little bit, i've always had a weird relationship with greer because of how much we focus on her. i know buff greer was funny and it definitely is super funny dont get me wrong but jenkins was a great pitcher until the stat creep hit. we still has to spend several elections on greer because she was a fan favourite. i feel in my heart that if it had been jenkins in that feedback there probably wouldnt have been as much of a push to get them back and idk that always scared me.

its not that jenkins was truly irredeemably bad at the time but compared to a player like greer? if we had to choose between greer or jenkins in something i know greer is winning and that does weird things to my brain sometimes idk i will digress again

jenkins being an active player vs kennedy trevino tyvi who are (were, in tyvi's case) fuckin dead is a wierd space to be in too. especially now that jenkins is on the tacos in new era i rotate between happiness that the tacos like them and deathly fear that theyre going to misconstrue something about them because jenkins is just so specifically Talkers-fied that you really had to be there for the jenkins conversations to understand jenkins' vibes. Its one of those things that like, jenkins was an s1 talker, they had all this time on the team so you just Got the vibes.

my sad thing about jenkins on the tacos? i feel like i cant talk about them anymore. my jenkins is talkers jenkins and i dont know the tacos and i am afraid. this is not my jenkins good anymore this is a whole other jenkins now and i think.... thats really the thing thats fucking me up about this new era. but at least jenkins is doing okay last i checked.

uhhhh lemme actually say some fun headcanons here... Jenkins has a math related degree in Orb Studies and can determine the exact salt content in food just by licking it. they eventually get a pet gecko named Adkins.

[lunamugetsu]

Danny is an ao3 writer

Hear me out!

Y'know how there's a running joke that ao3 authors/writers will put in the author's notes that they're sorry that they took so long to update and their reason is because of either they got into a horrible accident/ life threatening health issue/serious personal issues/ their life went up in flames figuratively or literally, or somehow a combination of all of those scenarios. And they're all like "Well enjoy the chapter! tee-hee!" and everybody who's reading it all collectively go "are you okay?!" (aka the ao3 writers curse)

So I want to take this, and add Danny

Danny begins taking a liking to the classic literature that Mr. Lancer talks about during class and decides to writes a fanfic about it along those lines. It all starts for when he writes a Pride and Prejudice fic where Charlotte gets a better life where she's both happy and comfortable. And when he gets pretty supportive comments about it. He starts writing fics for other books as well (and it never stops)

During that time, who else but the Jane Austen fan, Jason Todd reads this fic. Yes he reads fanfic (do not ask him about his ao3 history), he yearns for more Jane Austen, but unfortunately she's not exactly able to write more books for him to read. So he turns to ao3 where there are some people who have incredible talent for writing pretty good regency era romance.

So what happens when he finds a couple of Pride and Prejudice stories written by " HalfDeadHalfAliveWriter

And when reading through the stories and looking at the author's notes.

All with very weird scenarios happening to the writer that he can't be sure that if it's a joke or if it's an actual thing he should be very worried about.

Author's notes such as:

Sorry it took so long for me to update this I was being shot at by my parents and ended up getting a burn on my hand and couldn't use my computer for awhile.

Sorry the chapter's so short, all the people in my town are being possessed by a hoard of angry ghosts because somebody had a bright idea to steal an artifact that belongs to an ancient civilization. So I had to get this out quick before they ruin my wifi connection

Sorry I haven't updated in awhile, I had to fight off a crazy guy that is obsessed with killing my father so he could marry my mother and become my new stepfather.

Sorry for the wait I got sent back to Ancient Egypt by my mentor to hunt down a runaway ghost that was messing with time.

But honestly the most recent author's note on a fic that hadn't been updated in week is what makes Jason really worried.

Sorry for not updating for a couple months guys, I was taken by a government agency that started vivisecting and torturing me. Thankfully my sister and friends busted me out and now I'm working on healing up. Anyway here's the Great Gatsby fic where Nick and Gatsby kiss.

After reading that author's note, Jason just sits there thinking only one thing.

What the fuck?

[leonardcohenofficial]

if nine and rose had fucked i think it would have been totally fine for their relationship though jack would have been lowkey highkey jealous and then that would have been a whole thing to deal with. ten and rose well. we saw that kiss in "new earth" and billie piper did that for herself for rose and for the people. if ten and rose had just fucked i think that it would have made the rest of series two even wilder but also they deserved it. martha deserved to kill ten with hammers for the buckwild post-rose hangover emotional manipulation but if they had fucked at the end of "smith and jones" i feel like he either wouldn't have treated martha nearly as badly as he did all series OR it would double down and be even more deeply insane. ten and donna. no. donna has no interest in that twig and also throwing that dynamic on the tate-tennant already ridiculously good chemistry doesn't work outside of shakespeare and the catherine tate show. if eleven had let amy fuck him after "flesh and stone" they would have both deeply regretted it and it would have absolutely ruined rory's life but also the level of emotional intimacy they were at in series five was already at an all time high and then rory AND river get brought into the fray which is just deeply messy. eleven and clara to me have zero sexual chemistry together or. much chemistry of any kind at all which is wild because matt smith and jenna coleman have chemistry in abundance as themselves and i don't think those characters fucking would have done anything to that story. twelve clara is one of the most batshit dynamics of the revival era and i truly don't know what them fucking would have done but i imagine given the insanity of what we got on screen when they were avoiding ("avoiding") any romance i can only imagine it would be worse for me to witness emotionally. if anyone suggests that twelve and bill should have fucked i'm blowing up this whole website. if you're a twelve nardole fan though god bless you

[bunnys-kisses]

if I knew you write for jenson I would've ordered long time ago! can I get tiramisu with a side of champagne with jenson? (after he won his championship not very dilf yk)

bakery menu

want to submit your own order? then hit up the menu! there are tons of things to submit and i do accept orders outside of f1, so hit me with it!! as for this anon, thank you for submitting a jenson button order, haha. i do think it is very funny that you had to specify before his dilf era, haha. but thank you for the clarification. there is tons of dirty talk (oops)

tiramisu (“my little slut to ruin.”) + champagne (sugar daddy au) served by jenson button (formula one)!!

cw: smut/pwp, sugar daddy au, 2009 era, dirty talking, driver's room sex/semi-public sex, mean!jenson, couch sex, clothed sex, panty ripping (oops)

you should've known that the moment jenson got his hands on the trophy, he was going to be all over you. you had went to see him at the final race of the season, and when it was clear that he was pulling through points wise. you should've taken your panties off under your skirt.

because jenson was going to rip them off of you.

the sound of tearing fabric filled the driver's room as he got you thrown over the back of the couch, your ass on display for him. he tossed the fabric away, no longer unusable as any kind of garment.

"i liked those!" you squeaked.

he chuckled as he groped his cock through his driver's suit, "you act like i can't buy you new panties. you dumb little slut, i pay for everything else."

you swallowed and arched your back a little more. you knew your place, it wasn't your fault. you let a formula one driver flash a bit of money in front of your broke student face and you followed him to the ends of the earth.

and now when he wanted to poke the base of your cervix with the blunt tip of his cock. you let him. like a good girl should.

he got out of as much of the suit as he could and got his cock out of his pants. it was a bit awkward, but he couldn't have the luxury of undressing both of you. not right before the press circus.

he gazed at your soaked cunt for a moment and licked his lips. he flipped the skirt of your dress up and sank into your pretty little cunt. it was an easy fit, he had trained his girl quite well. all to lead up to this moment, he got to celebrate his win with his cock buried in his girl.

it was perfect.

his hands on your hips, feeling the meat under his firm grip. he was practically fucking you face first into the couch. he just wanted to feel his beautiful slut. the pretty hole that he gets to fuck between races. originally this sugar daddy agreement was to help you pay for the nice school you went to in england.

but you haven't been on campus in over a year, why would jenson let you? you were prettier on his arm at events than in between the stacks of books. you were both only in your twenties, but he wanted to make sure that you couldn't get out of his grip.

eventually you'll go back to school. just later.

for now, it was about celebrating. and he was doing that while your pussy drooled around his cock. he panted heavily and continued his forceful thrusts. you were a dream to him, making the lust throb in his back of his head.

"my little slut.' he groaned, "but you know that, you know that you get a nice little payment in exchange for letting me ruin your pussy." his words were venomous but it made you see stars behind your eyelids.

you whimpered, "please, jenson." you arched your back a little to get a better angle of his cock pushing into your soaked cunt.

“my little slut to ruin.” he said, "right? all mine." he continued to thrust up into you. his force was tight and his tongue was loose. he wanted to make sure that you knew that you were a taken woman.

that he was the champion and you were the cute little thing that he sank his cock into. he held onto your hips tightly and battered his cock up against you.

"pretty thing." he said, "you know how to be good for me." he groaned a little bit. you were still on the track, and the driver's room was only so private. but his mouth still ran, "pay for your rent, your clothes, anything you need. and you in return let me make a mess of your little cunt. i guess it's only fair. i empty my wallet for you and i empty my balls in you." he chuckled a little as he felt the sweat on his back.

the adrenaline was still high.

you let out a small whimper and he continued to thrust into you. you felt so good enough him, like a proper fit. his pace was aggressive as he pushed you further into the couch.

sadly the sex couldn't last long as he had places to be with you on his arm. he was the world champion after all. he licked his lips at the sight of your pussy trying to accommodate his girth.

a sweet little thing you were. all his.

he gave it a few more heavy thrusts before he came inside of you. he buried his cock as deep as it would go inside of you. he felt hot all over in the clothes he was still in, but his core throbbed with a deep need for you.

"mine. my little slut." he groaned as he gripped the back of your head to keep you pinned under him. he hissed through his teeth before he slowed to a stop.

he kept his cock inside of you as his other hand worked at your clit. which made you freeze up, the pleasure melted in your brain like chocolate in the sun. you whined a little louder and he told you to shut up.

he played with your poor clit, already throbbing for a deep need. you covered your mouth with your hands as you curled up as you came. you tensed all over as it washed over you. then you relaxed over the back of couch. a bit of cum stuck to your pussy lips and jenson loved the sight of that.

a beautiful little slut.

he patted your bare ass cheek before he got the skirt of your dress over your ass. he chuckled a little, "better pray that it doesn't leak out of you. because if it does." his tone got a little darker, "i'll just have to put it all back in you."

he watched you try to compose yourself before you both had to get out in front of the cameras. he hoped that the press got a picture of his cum running down your leg. after all, he was number one and he was allowed to stake claim on your sweet pussy. <3

[val-of-the-north]

Tibia Mariners and Those Lost in Death

While I am at it, I should talk about a detail found in Messmer's Shadow Keep. On the way to the Specimen Storehouse, you'll be faced with a peculiar sight: boats lit on fire.

This seems to be a callback to Viking funerals, except the boats are placed in a row and burnt on land. It's certainly an odd practice, but it might only be done this way because Messmer's forces are far from an accessible shore or water that's deep enough to perform it normally.

However, something else caught my eye. The boats looked quite familiar so I went back to check and...

It was the EXACT model as the boats used by the Tibia Mariners! Perhaps it is obvious seeing as the Messmer boats are used in a funerary rite, but I think it's still quite a significant connection, especially since the old Mariners have gotten quite a bit of new lore in the DLC. In Charo's Hidden Grave we can find the skulls of boatmen as a crafting material, presumably that of previous Tibia Mariners.

This is outright confirmed after finding the lone Tibia Mariner in the area, who upon defeat drops the Tibia's Cookbook, which describes them as the oldest of grave keepers.

(Btw I love the detail of the piece of lace cloth and golden ornaments, they are the same found on the Mariners themselves. They even come with the same ghostly glow)

This is quite the revelation, as prior to Shadow of the Erdtree we had no way of knowing that these guys actually predated the spread of Deathroot and Godwyn's transformation into the Prince of Death. And how could we doubt that, since they even drop Deathroot themselves? But there was something that most people have neglected to note about the Mariners, me included.

In the base game, the Tibia Mariner found in the Wyndham Ruins drops a spell called Tibia's Summons. This inconspicuous sorcery of the servants of death actually holds a perplexing description which mentions a group known as "Those Lost in Death".

There was something seemingly redundant and unexplained about these guys. What does "Lost in Death" mean? Why aren't they simply called "Those Who Live in Death"? It wouldn't blame anyone for assuming that this description just contains an outdated term for the undead before they stuck with the one used in-game. However, through the Tibia's Cookbook, we find a NEW reference to this same concept.

Roughly the same title (Those Lost in Death = one lost in death), the same underlying sentiment, and we have verifiable proof that the Tibia Mariners are outright ancient... so what's the deal with this? Well, I have a theory.

The descriptions of these things hint at the fact that the dead have been wandering for a very long time, and that they are in need of leadership. Before the DLC, it was easy to assume that the undead were simply a result of Deathroot, and the game seemed to suggest the same thing by stating multiple times that it was the origin of Those Who Live in Death...

... but that's the thing! Prior to Deathroot connecting them to Godwyn, the undead amounted only to shambling corpses. They were not LIVING in Death, but simply LOST in it, which is how the Mariners were able to control them in ancient times through the use of sounds, both their horns and the Calls of Tibia. It's only through the guidance of a lord, in this case the Prince of Death, that they found an identity and new life.

It's likely the undead waned in the era of Marika because of her elaborate Erdtree burials and general control of life and death. Heck, the figure of Rosus, who guides us to the Catacombs, must have also played a big part in their disappearance. His axe has a similar power to the Tibia's Summons and it's called Rosus's Summons. Its description also mentions that the dead easily lose their way, meaning that Rosus was meant to lend the dead a guiding hand. "Those Lost in Death" would be lost no more.

Without people Lost in Death, the Mariners kind of lost their purpose and vanished for a long time... until the Shattering and the rise of Those Who Live in Death of course. It might mean that the only reason they hold onto Deathroot is because it attracts and connects the new undead.

I guess Godwyn was meant to be a sort of "lighthouse" for all undead. He would make sure they never lost themselves but also that they would be allowed to live instead of being forced back to rest like with Rosus and Marika. Him being a "lighthouse" also fits the marine theme that all this death business is going for quite neatly I think...

But to return to what started this... maybe those boats lit on fire are Messmer's way of making sure the soldiers of his army aren't lost to death after their passing. A way to give them a proper rest the way Marika would have wanted, even though he is limited in what he can do about it. The Catacombs are now corrupted with Deathroots and Godwyn's corpse bodies, and guarded by his fervent golden Death Knights.

(P.S. - I didn't know where to put this, but "Charo" is one letter off from Charon, the ferryman of the dead in Greek mythology. Seeing as the place is connected to the Tibia Mariners, who shepherded Those Lost in Death in an age long past, I find that this connection might not be mere coincidence...)

[fastcardotmp3]

Ronance; meeting at the wrong time and then again at the right time; past almost-cheating (not on each other); Nancy Wheeler's Joyous Divorce Era; Robin POV; 1.6k Written for @strangerthingsfemslash week day 2: women over thirty read day 1: different first meeting read day 3: secret relationship

“Go talk to her.” 

Robin shoots Steve a look for his whispering, for his little nudge of his shoulder against her own, for the sly little smile on his face and the nod of his head out towards the open sliding door leading out to the patio. 

“No, yeah, I’ll just go talk to her,” she snarks, throwing open the door to the refrigerator and staring at the collection of drinks and snacks available to her. 

“That’s what I’m saying.”

“You put all this work into throwing me a party and you want me to ruin it in one fell swoop?” she glares at him again, but his gaze is softer now behind his glasses, leaning back against the countertop with his hands and body language all open and unmalicious. 

It makes something in Robin slump, the sight of him, even in spite of the tension still holding too much attention on those patio doors. Her heart flutters at the thought of it, of just letting it all go and being able to talk like they used to. 

Share stories and memories and laughter like they’re still twenty-one and getting legally tipsy for the first time instead of standing here on the day Robin turns forty and Nancy is still—

“I get so stupid around her, Steve,” she exhales, still clinging to the handle of the refrigerator door, the chill of it raising goosebumps on her arms. “I get so stupid, and if he’s here too? I can’t— if he’s here, I just can’t deal with that.” 

Steve’s brow furrows slightly, but his posture doesn’t change. 

“Have you seen him?” he asks. “You think I wouldn’t warn you if he was going to be here today? On your birthday? Come on.”

He meets her gaze head-on, not a single sign of dishonesty in those big brown eyes that have been by her side through every stumble and triumph of the past twenty years, and Robin exhales. Watches him reach past her into the fridge for a half-empty bottle of Pinot Grigio and pour it deftly into two thin-stemmed glasses. 

“Go talk to her,” he insists, pressing one into either one of her hands, and all Robin can do is nod. 

Trust that he’s not leading her astray on this. 

Walk on unsteady feet to those patio doors and nudge it closed behind her with the thick sole of her boot. 

Nancy Wheeler is a vision. 

Sitting alone at the small metal table Robin had dragged all the way from her parents’ house a solid decade ago, the light of a new spring day dancing across the smattering of gray taking root in those dark curls, she’s a vision. 

But when has she ever not been? 

“Hi,” Robin croaks as her body alights with the touch of attention when Nancy startles and turns to look at her. “Can I sit?” 

For a moment, Robin thinks she’s ruined Nancy’s search for solitude, a thing which all of them who survived the unsurvivable understand to some degree or another. But almost the instant Nancy lays eyes on her, she’s relaxing again, something calm to her that Robin hardly recognizes in the years since… 

“I’d love that,” Nancy smiles and nods to the chair beside her. Close enough to touch, to at the very least feel the warmth that radiates from that soft skin which once upon a time Robin had— she had known. 

Even if only the once. The most beautiful of all of Robin’s nightmares. 

“Is that for me?” 

“Oh! Yes, yeah,” Robin sets down both glasses as she takes her seat, nudging Nancy’s close to her and watching the pink of her lips, listening to the hum of gratitude as she takes a small sip. “Santa Margarita, I know it’s…”

“My favorite,” Nancy is still smiling. Still so impossibly calm. 

Robin has seen her many times since they fell into Nancy’s bed together, since Robin saw a door closing as a new man came into Nancy’s life after the last and pushed her way into that gap with the wet heat of her tongue and thrust of her fingers. She had still only been dating him then, not even calling him her boyfriend. Robin had thought…

Well, she had thought.

But she’s seen her since then. It’s been five years, sure, and it’s never been the same as before, but they’re undoubtedly linked by the same group of people here today. 

Fighters and survivors and family built from fire and blood. Of course Robin has seen her since the night ended with soft touches and quiet giggles and the morning began with tears and running and slamming doors. 

Nancy hasn’t been calm like this in any of those instances, in any of those meetings. 

She’s so close. So warm. 

She asks Robin if the party is all that she’d hoped, if she’s enjoying her birthday, about her work as an EMT, the new gig she’s taken on training rookies, and the flowers budding in her garden. 

It’s small talk, but it makes Robin’s heart race, because Nancy hasn’t asked about her in a long time. Not directly anyway. They don’t talk, not like they used to, because there are too many layers of complication between them now. 

There’s the friendship they built in 1986 and the bond that only grew from that point forward, yes, but there’s also the way Robin has been desperately in love with Nancy for more of that time than she cares to admit and that they both know it. 

Having sex five years ago was just the cresting of a long-coming breaking point, and this is the fallout. Or at least, it was until today. 

Because Nancy asks about her life and she doesn’t shy away from sitting so close and she drinks her wine like nothing in the world is wrong and Robin is confused. 

Confusion that is only compounded when she tries to reciprocate, asking, “and how are you? How is, um, how is…” and trailing off as her gaze lands subconsciously on Nancy’s hands. Nails cut short and that same knobby knuckle where she broke it in ‘86 and never properly set it and a conspicuous lack of rings. 

Robin’s chest goes tight. She’s too old to feel such violent butterflies racing up her throat. 

“He’s fine,” Nancy tells her simply. “Probably fuming over the pre-nup I made him sign right about now.” 

It’s been a number of years since Robin was a babbling teenager with a crush on the girl who stood next to her in marching band. It’s been a number of years since she sat in the front seat of Steve’s BMW and lamented wanting to kiss a girl without being marked a pariah. 

She thinks maybe that kid in her head never died, though. Not at twenty or thirty and not now at forty either, because something kicks to life in her gut with the realization that—

“You’re getting a divorce?”

Breathy and too hopeful for the topic at hand, Robin clears her throat, looks down at her glass and the drip of condensation around the curve of it. 

“Sorry, I just—”

“I’m getting a divorce.”

“Okay,” Robin nods, says it again okay, okay, “I’m just, um, I’m censoring myself, sorry, give me a minute.” 

And Nancy Wheeler laughs. 

So much lightness to it, something so unbearably carefree, that Robin can’t help but look at her with all the depth of feeling she knows is terribly readable on her face. 

Nancy laughs, leans forward in her chair to rest and elbow on the table and her chin in her hand. No ring. No ring. No ring. 

“Do you remember what you said to me? When you were,” a breath, “when I…”

“When you were kicking me out of your house after we fucked?” Robin gets blunt when she’s nervous, but there’s humor to it years later that there couldn’t have been in the months she spent crying on Steve and Eddie’s couch about it back then. 

Nancy presses her lips together as though forcing down something tremulous, as though recentering herself. 

“You looked me right in the face and you told me,” she straightens her shoulders, “Nancy Wheeler, when are you going to stop living your life like survival was a punishment?” 

Robin does remember that, but wouldn’t have had Nancy not brought it up. She’s spent a lot of energy on not thinking about that morning, about all the ways she’d fucked up any chance she had at having Nancy in any real capacity, even if she couldn’t have her.

Now, though, all of the sparking energy jumping off her skin sings in response to that day, to that fight, to everything they’ve been through since. All of her energy jolts in the space between them, lightning striking like second chances. 

Robin breathes deep into her gut and lets it out slowly as her eyes rove across Nancy’s face. All that calm, all that certainty of having made a plan and watching it play out in front of her by way of Robin herself. 

“Nancy Wheeler,” she breathes, “did you get a divorce for my birthday?” 

Nancy beams, slow and languid, and leans in until they’re almost nose to nose. Wine on her breath and life in her eyes, Nancy gets close. 

“No, that I got for me,” she says, hand coming up to cradle Robin’s jaw and causing a kick-beat in her chest, “but I’m all yours, honey.” 

It’s Robin’s bed they’ll fall into at the end of the night this time, giggling and happy. 

It’s Robin’s kitchen where they’ll have coffee and breakfast when the morning rolls around again. 

No tears, no slamming doors. 

“I need you to— Nance,” Robin’s eyes well up, bridge of her nose nudging against Nancy’s as she asks I need you to prove it’s real. 

Nancy takes her face in both hands and consumes her with a devouring kiss. 

It tastes a lot like self-forgiveness on everyone’s part. 

[wutheringmights]

Anyone ask for the commentary yet for the latest chapter >:3 *dies*

You’d be the first!

So this chapter is cursed. Let’s talk about that first. 

You probably noticed that my writing output has been in the gutter this year. I have not written half as much as I should have. There are two main reasons why. The first is that I finally decided to get off my ass and have a more enriching personal life. This means a lot more of my evenings and weekends have been spent exploring other hobbies or taking weekend trips. I don’t regret any of those, and they have really improved my life overall (but I do write more when I am a sad little shut-in).

The second, more pressing reason was that there was a very important wedding I was the maid of honor for. That means I have spent a lot of my free time this year planning a bachelorette, a bridal shower, and helping with general wedding prep. I honestly was not nearly as busy as an expert maid of honor would have been, but all of this took up so much of my brain space that I was having trouble being creative. Multiple times, I would go to a coffee shop with plans to write, only to spend the entire time stressing about buying a new dress or researching hotels. 

I did not realize how stressed I was about this whole thing until literally this week. The wedding is over now, and I am already biting huge chunks into the upcoming chapter. I just have so much more brain space to write. I feel free. 

All that’s to say that this chapter was primarily written the month leading up to the wedding, and my head was Not There. I was struggling to figure the chapter out, and that struggle is reflected in the quality of the prose. For that, I apologize, as inevitable as it was. 

I won’t make any major revision to this chapter, but I have plans to redo my proof-reading. There is an egregious number of typos in this chapter, more than I consider acceptable for a one person team of me. 

(That being said, my typos have gotten worse this past year; ever since AI was integrated into Grammarly and Google Docs, both have been godawful for helping me fix errors. I appreciate how lenient you all have been with my most blatant mistakes.) 

Now that all of that is established, let’s talk about this chapter.

This introduction to Proxi is really, really bad. I am frankly a little embarrassed that I went ahead and published it. While I had a vision for the first few scenes of Link trying to help Proxi and Jakucho’s aid afterwards, I didn’t realize until the day of writing that I actually had 0 plans for how Warriors and Proxi’s first conversation would go. 

I am not even joking. I have a bunch of plans for their interactions together afterwards (which will appear next chapter). But their first conversation once Proxi started to get better? None. 

So what little they talked together here feels like a waste of space. What’s worse, I don’t even know what I would change the dialogue to in order to fix it. My brain is blank. I don’t know.  It’ll probably hit me in a few weeks. This is the trouble with publishing what is essentially the first draft of a story. If my initial ideas are solid, it’s great. But when my brain farts, I’m screwed.

That being said, my favorite part of the past section is that first half where Link frets over how to help Proxi, as well as Jakucho’s speech about the fairies disappearing. 

I have been trying to subtly establish this era of Hyrule as being one that is shocking devoid of magic; having Jakucho mourn the loss of fairies and what omen that could mean feels like I am ruining things. Nonetheless, I just really like the idea of Jakucho having this small moment of wonder over seeing a fairy, as well as her verbalizing these fears that darker times are ahead. 

I think I just enjoy reading about older people having the same anxieties about the world as younger people. It’s more comforting to me than an all-knowing mentor. 

So this chapter has a lot of random names splattered all over the place. Me being me, I stole some of the names from other media and such I enjoy. I’ll point out any fun connections as I find them. 

So for Proxi’s list of names for Link, there’s two of note. The first is Grimshaw, which is the name of the male lead from Lightlark. Despite how much I talk about Fourth Wing on this blog, Lightlark is the bad book I am truly passionate about. 

The second is Wen-li, which is for Yang Wen-li from Legend of the Galactic Heroes. He’s the character of all time for me, and I will go insane if I think about him for too long.

This Proxi section was supposed to go on a little longer, but by the time it came to write it, I was 100% over this chapter. Luckily, next chapter will be a fresh slate and I can finally deliver on all my promises about Proxi’s return. 

I cannot emphasize enough how frustrating it is to know that I fucked up an important character’s return. It’s... sigh. C’est la vie. Whatever. 

Onto the present day:

So I have a particular problem with the present day section. The last chapter, this chapter, and the one I am writing now are all the same plot point in my outline. I severely underestimated how long the lead up to a Very Important Event was going to be. No doubt, I have probably made similar mistakes before. But I am trying to finish this story, so any time I have to draw out the pacing, I die a little on the inside.

I think I initially planned to just skim over how Warriors got to the castle, but then I realized that this was the politics stuff that is the supposed bread and butter of the story. But the reason why I wanted to skim over everything was (as Legend pointed out) fucking networking.

What’s worse, I got to this chapter and realized that, realistically, Warriors should have to spend at least a few months building up a cult of personality. This should be a (purposeful) multi-chapter arc. I don’t want to do that, so I tried to really emphasize how much Warriors was using his reputation as the hero and legends surrounding it to his advantage. Does it still feel unrealistic? Yeah, but we’re just going to have to cope with it. 

Sevas is named for the male lead in Ava Reid’s Juniper & Thorn, which was sitting on my desk when I realized the priest needed a name. 

Colonel Remarque is named for Erich Remarque, author of All Quiet On the Western Front. I think I had made a post name-dropping him around the time I got to this character.

Matthew Thorn... again, Thorn is for Reid’s book. Matthew was just the most bland name I could think of. 

Vlad Dubarry... so I was watching both Castlevania and Rose of Versailles and took the first and surname from both respectively. 

Between the conversation with the priest, the provost office, and Remarque, I was trying to give out a few more details every time to paint a clear picture without boring the reader by reiterating information over and over again. Unfortunately, I still managed to write three pretty boring scenes. 

That being said, I think the friction Remarque offered was interesting to write, even if I had to resist pointing out every single plot hole during it. 

So everything from the castle to Spirit being poisoned took me the longest to write. I knew it was boring, but I could not figure out a way to make it more exciting without omitting the networking stuff entirely. I didn’t really hit a stride with this chapter until I got to Spirit being poisoned. 

The entire time Spirit was being poisoned, I was rubbing my hands together maniacally. I have been searching for a good moment to have a true poisoning in this story and I finally got it. 

Also, I think if this chapter was of higher quality, someone out there would have realized that, for purely medical reasons, Hyrule had to technically give Spirit and smooch on the lips. There should be at least two very silly memes about this. But, alas. The quality.

You can tell I ran into the realization that, realistically, the Royal Guard’s structure would be more complex than I have alluded to previously. Very importantly, you can tell I realized that I should have mentioned the King’s Guard sooner if they were really going to be this powerful subsection of the Royal Guard.

I actually like how the idea that the King’s Guard is only super powerful in matters relating to the king, aka: Castle Town, and is pretty insignificant otherwise. The bureaucratic bullshit that must cause feels very real. But you can tell that I have no idea what rank that would make Endicott. I have been bending over backwards to not state that man’s ranking. 

That being said, his absence from Warriors’s social circle until now is kinda important. Put a pin in that. It will come back.

Also, Endicott is a name I stole from Over the Garden Wall. I picked it because it sounds like the name of someone important. I picked Roald at randomed.

I am really happy that a lot of you have been enjoying the growing distrust the Chain has for Spirit. Insert rant about how victims have to remain palatable in order to be emphasized with, and how tragic it is that the only person who seems to understand that is the person who traumatized him in the first place. 

I feel like I have been fumbling Time’s character a bit, and his conversation at the floor of Spirit’s bed is me finally getting back on track with him. I enjoyed writing that so much, from him trying to fold the scarf to him being upset that no one has learned their lesson yet, all while still not learning a lesson himself. 

There was going to be a comment somewhere that Spirit is in such bad shape in part because his lungs are weak from all that smoking he does, but I honestly don’t know if anyone but Spirit would make that connection. 

I also need to put Legend and Midna together more. They can be so snarky, and I want them to keep a running commentary of Warriors and Spirit’s bullshit like they are two sports announcers watching a football game.

I first imagined Spirit and Warriors’s conversation taking place on the parapet, and came to the same realization about the ladders that Spirit had. I’m glad I put them by the moat, though. The bit about the smell is probably my favorite bit of prose in the chapter. 

I also really like this conversation between Spirit and Warriors. It’s not as insanity inducing as their past bullshit has been, but it hits a few notes. I like Warriors showing off how much he understands Spirit’s abilities (via the jacket), as well as Spirit’s utter disbelief that Warriors is capable of caring for anyone but himself. 

I was also trying really hard to put more of their bullshit into subtext. I have a bad habit of having characters just state what they are feeling out loud, so I am trying to write more coded dialogue. It’s never just about a toaster, etc. 

Warriors was also having such a night of self-discovery. First he had a little moment to freak out about how much his sincere attempts to help sound like manipulation. Then he realized that he would probably never be fully exonerated from his past. Big night for him.

Being unable to fully fix your past is part of the reason why I buffer against the idea of Warriors having a redemption arc. That implies a certain amount of undoing that is just not possible. I don’t know if I am putting that well. However, I am concerned that I am letting my Catholic upbringing color my perspective.

That being said, if Catholicism was a thing in Hyrule, Warriors would be that and be plagued by Catholic Guilt

He’s Catholic coded.

Irish Catholic, to be specific. There’s a difference. 

Anyway, Four. When Four showed up, I was going to have this bit of dialogue where Spirit would allude to knowing about Vio (and therefore, Four) having a relationship with Shadow. It would have been nestled in a larger, coded bit of dialogue where Four would obliquely imply that he was starting to suspect what the Hot Mess is. I cut it because A) Spirit is so socially inept that he cannot do subtly like that, and B) Spirit’s spirit senses would not give him the ability to know about Shadow. 

I also did not want to commit to Four figuring it out first, if at all. 

I have so many ideas about what Warriors the Symbol means to the people of Castle Town that I will hopefully be able to elaborate on in this upcoming chapter.

Realistically, Hyrule Castle should probably be more like a fortress. But again, I have been watching The Rose of Versailles, and I just really liked the idea of the castle being this symbol of opulence during a time of poor economics. The people are struggling but the nobles are thriving, babes. 

Also, Endicott is so much fun to write. He’s like the true antagonistic version of Lincoln. That man was enjoying making Warriors squirm, and I was having a blast writing it. The sexual favors line? I was utterly delighted. 

Realistically, Endicott probably could have been replaced with Whitestone. However, Whitestone is still on the front and I don’t regret putting him there to be Wind’s superior during his short stint as a soldier. (Even if I still think I could have cut out Whitestone in favor of giving Impa more to do.)

I also feel bad for killing Meemaw off so suddenly, but I was enchanted by the idea of her name having to be crossed off because the death was that  recent. 

I also was going to have Endicott spare Warriors for unknown reasons, with the reveal that Ganondorf had been bribing him coming later in the story, However, I was so worried about this seeming too-easy for Warriors that I decided to reveal that detail early. 

Okay, King of Hyrule stuff.

I’m trying to play at this idea of Zelda’s reputation not matching her actual role. Earlier in the story, Warriors describes her as a socialite with no political sense, and Zelda derisively thinks that of herself as well. Then that bit about her being the face of the kingdom is supposed to contradict that perception. She can’t just be a socialite if she had been the mouthpiece of the king since she was a child. 

There’s supposed to be multiple mistakes going on here: Warriors assuming the worst of Zelda, a sexist perception of Zelda by society as a whole, and Zelda feeling worthless because she knows she’s just a symbol. Not sure if I conveyed any of that well. 

Reuenthal’s dementia was caused in part by a stroke, but he also has a condition called prosopometamorphopsia, which is a form of face blindness where faces become distorted the longer you look at them. 

Fun fact is that I generally knew that there was some kind of condition that had made Reuenthal isolate from other people, but I did not pick prosopometamorphopsia until I read this article from the New Yorker. I won’t go as far as to say that I wrote an accurate version of the disorder; I definitely played up the emotional distress it causes for dramatic effect. That is probably problematic, so please do not trust this story as a definitive source on it. 

This also went unsaid in the story, but I imagine that because every daughter in the royal family is named Zelda, they probably go more by their middle names. I almost named dropped one of her sisters as Zelda Artemis, just to be mean.

The last line “A week later, everything went to hell” is, admittedly, very silly. I had a whole section describing what that meant written, but it seriously sucked. I am in the process of rewriting it now, and it’s already so much better. Plus, now that I have another chapter to hit these plot points, I can explore a more daring version of my original idea. Very excited for it. 

That being said, I would 100% cut off that last line and probably improve the chapter by 3%.

And that’s the chapter! Again, I am so sorry that it was such substandard quality. I promise that the next chapter will be better. 

In other news, can I get your opinion on something. Ever since polls came out, I have wanted to do a little census poll on how many people know about CTB, read it, or choose to read it. Just to gage how big the actual audience is. 

On one hand, I think it would be interesting. On the other, it’s a practice in vanity that is very antithetical to how hard I try to be nonchalant about everything. I don’t know. Let me know what you think. 

[kaz-oooo]

I’ve already done music recommendations so, you can check out these posts (playlists and list of artists) if you’re looking for that specifically. But Wilbur made a lot of content over the years and idk, i figured I’d make a a list of recommendations for similar content to fill that void as well :)

Minecraft SMP’s (specifically DSMP)

The same SMP’s but other POV’s — I’ll just start with this cos it’s the most iffy. There’s plenty of enjoyment to be had with these fandoms still, and I personally don’t think we need to let the actions of a couple shitty guys ruin the silly Minecraft roleplay we all enjoy. That said, if you aren’t comfy watching these anymore that’s perfectly valid as well, especially since Wilbur’s character will be lurking around in the background of plenty of these. But yeah, we can also uplift other creators by watching the fun stories they made, especially those who got buried by bigger creators at the time. So Dream SMP, QSMP, Origins SMP, SMP earth, SMPlive all have content you can enjoy.

Different, completely unrelated SMP’s — hermitcraft, the life series, empires SMP (shubble was involved in this one, I’m planning on watching her POV when I find some time) etc. I’ve had plenty of people recommend these to me before, from what I’ve seen they’re very enjoyable :)

Hamilton — not even joking, if you enjoyed the L’manberg era of DSMP and you didn’t watch Hamilton, I’d heartily recommend it. Great music, lots of politics but all in a fun and silly way, also tragic endings!

Editor Wilbur ARG (I’m a massive ARG fan so I have tonnes of recommendations here)

Generation Loss — Ranboo’s very awesome Horror project that they’ve been working very hard on!!! Ranboo’s been teasing new content lately as well so that’s exciting

Analog horror series — Local 58, Gemini Home Entertainment, Mandela Catalog, Kane Pixel’s Backrooms videos, etc. All very good and spooky videos, definetely an inspiration for Gen Loss, and I know Wilbur enjoyed this content as well (though the editor Wilbur arg predates a lot of this genre) those are some of the biggest on YouTube atm, and some of my personal favourites, but there’s plenty more to find (I recommend channels like Nightmind and Nexpo who do analysis videos for all this horror and ARG stuff if you wanna find more)

Marble Hornets — gets its own category! One of the original analog horror genres (predated the genre actually) it’s basically one of the biggest and most comprehensive Slenderman series out there. There’s a LOT of content here and lots of lore and mystery (though a lot of the game clues have been lost to time) (Jack Manifold also reacted to this on stream, it was very chill and good fun)

Horror podcasts — Magnus Archives and Magnus Protocol, Malevolent and Archive 81 are some of my favourites, but there’s plenty more out there to find and enjoy :). Also very spooky with lots of mystery to involved, the Magnus Protocol is very new as well so great time to get into that!

Just Chatting / Geoguessr / other chill content

Geoguessr streamers / YouTubers — honestly I genuinely didn’t watch much geoguessr content outside of Wilbur’s streams so, I don’t have many recommendations here. I know Eret has been doing geoguessr streams lately and their content is very good and chill. Jacksuckatlife plays as well and last I watched he was fairly good at it (like similar skill level to Wilbur), otherwise Rainbolt is a geoguessr legend, he terrifies me a little ngl.

Other streamers — I think the thing with the just chatting streams is that we watch for *that specific streamer’s* personality. It’s hard to really make recommendations other than just saying go watch more of the streamers you enjoy. Personally I enjoy Phil’s hardcore streams, and Sneegsnag’s Crime Time the most, but there’s plenty of other people both in this MCYT space and outside of it that you’ll probably enjoy :)

Sorry boys (unlike horror I don’t watch much comedy so, sorry, this’ll be lacking)

Just Roll With It — Charlie Slimecicle’s DND podcast. I’ve only listened to a little bit of this but it’s really good and REALLY silly (oh, and emotional sometimes, gotta have a bit of angst y’know) Wilbur was a guest on a couple of episodes, but you can always skip past those if you want.

Tommy’s videos — so Wilbur features in a lot of the early vlogs and *minecraft but* videos, but Tommy’s content has always been good fun, his recent stuff is excellent as well! He’s been doing a lot of comedy content lately, specifically a live show so definitely check that out if you want :)

Smosh pit — not something I’ve watched a lot of, but I’ve seen clips of their try not to laugh videos and they’re definitely on par with the bat shit improv you get from Sorry Boys.

Game changer — again, not something I’ve watched much, mostly consumed through osmosis, but the show is funny, the cast is always silly and it’s a lot of fun all round

Whatever else Sorry Boys make after this — judging by some of the responses to Wilbur’s “statement” I think it’s fair to assume if Sorry Boys do continue making content Wilbur will be cut from the group. Of course don’t feel obligated to stick around if you don’t want to, but Wilbur won’t be compensated if he’s kicked and the rest of the guys are still fun :)

YLYL and similar goofy stuff

Just… other streamers again — Jack Manifold does YLYL streams with his friends. James Marriott does a lot of reaction videos as well, sometimes YLYL, sometimes reacting to content his viewers send in (like TikTok’s and break up texts), those are my favourites atm.

YouTubers — that niche between video essay and reaction content, people like Danny Gonzales, Drew Gooden, Kurtis Conner, Pinely, all good fun YouTube channels that make good, silly, and easy to consume content.

Other gaming streamers and YouTubers — Slimecicle, Ranboo, Games Grumps, RT games, and SneegSnag all play a wide variety of games, they’re all relatively chill but none of them take the games all that seriously either so it’s fun and goofy as well :)

And of course Fanfiction!!!

I might be a little bias here cos I write myself but fic is created by and for fans and it exists to give you even *more* content about the stories you love, whether it be reimagining canon events or just dumping your favourite characters into a silly au.

I know a lot of authors (myself included) are feeling super conflicted and weird about writing Wilbur in the future. Plenty of authors have been moving onto new fandoms so if you find something you enjoy make sure you check out the author’s other work and who knows, maybe you’ll find some cool new fandoms that way!

And do the same for artists and other creators, or even go check out some of your mutuals fandoms, you guys might have more in common than you originally thought!

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Errors, “Errors,” and Animorphs

So in a different post I ranted about how a tiny non-distracting unfixable difference between two shirts is not an error in Jurassic Park.  IMHO, a continuity gap is only an error if:

It draws attention to itself and distracts the audience

It could’ve been fixed pretty easily in-story

It makes character, plot, or setting nonsensical

Animorphs has continuity gaps of its own.  And I have opinions about what we readers do and do not count as “error.”  First, an example that’s clearly an error:

I wondered if Tobias had heard my thought. I concentrated. Tobias, can     you hear me?

«Yeah,» he said, «I hear you.»

“Did you hear my thoughts before that?” I asked.

«No, I don’t think it works that way.  You have to think at me for me to     hear.»

—#1: The Invasion

Tobias briefly hearing Jake thought-speak in #1 breaks the rules of the setting; several other books (#2, #23, #31, #33, #46) clearly state that it’s impossible to thought-speak if one is human and not in morph.  It’s an easy fix; the re-releases and audiobooks delete this moment, and the graphic novel makes Tobias unable to hear Jake.  It distracts the audience; I’ve gotten 5 or 6 separate asks over the years of people going “I was rereading #1, and the weirdest thing...” It’s an error.  I can’t say what happened behind the scenes — K.A. Applegate toyed with a thread that was later dropped, or decided to introduce a limitation for plot fuel at a later time.  But it’s an error.

Second, an example that I don’t think counts as an error:

I returned to my life, feeling strange and out of place. That night Jake came over. We went outside.

"I tried morphing the Tyrannosaurus," he said. "Nothing. Didn't work."

"You could ask Ax. He may know why."

Jake laughed. "Yeah, but even if he explains it, I still won't understand it."

—MM2: In the Time of the Dinosaurs [Cassie’s narration]

The kids not being able to morph dinosaurs outside of the Cretaceous Era makes a lot of sense in context.  The whole book series would fundamentally change if they could use T. rex — that would become heavily a favored morph for many of them.  It kicks off all kinds of plot questions that demand answers: Where do the controllers think the “andalite bandits” got dino DNA? What anti-dinosaur measures would they be forced to adopt? Would the Animorphs’ whole strategy change around having those morphs? How would Rachel feel about everyone but Tobias suddenly having a much stronger morph than her? Would they even bother with contemporary animal morphs afterward?

If the kids are morphing dinosaurs all the time after ~#18, then the series loses a lot of its uniqueness.  Applegate has said that most of the inspiration for the series was about trying to help kids understand what it would really be like to be inside an animal mind, with as many animals as possible.  That’s part of why so many of the plots hinge on giving the Animorphs an excuse to learn a new morph (e.g. #4, #17, #27, #47, #52) so that we can experience the coolness right along with them.  That’s why the war is explicitly about fighting for Earth, nonhumans and all (#7, #23, #53).  If it’s not a menagerie of six different critters — including one immigrant from space — rolling up to battle, then it’s not Animorphs. No, it makes no dang sense that sario rip morphs stop working once the rip gets unripped.  But the series acknowledges it, and it allows us both to have a unique animal-based story (dinosaurs! Heckin dinosaurs!) without ruining its own premise.

Third, one that I find fascinating because it’s kind of right on the margin:

"What I don't get is why I have to be a girl wolf," Marco grumbled.

"We had one male and one female," Cassie explained for the tenth time. "If two of us morphed into the male, we'd have two males. Two male wolves might decide they had to fight for dominance."

"I could control it," Marco said.

"Marco, you and Jake already fight for dominance, and you're just ordinary guys," Rachel pointed out.

—#3: The Encounter

Later, Tobias’s narration uses the word “alpha” to describe Jake’s morphed behavior — howling and peeing to mark territory, challenging another wolf pack to protect his own.

There is scientific consensus right now, as of the 2020s, that the term “alpha” is an inaccurate descriptor of pack-lead behavior, and that dominance fights between adult males are almost nonexistent.  That although wolves usually run in a phalanx-like shape with one middle-aged male and female at the point, this isn’t the result of dominance fights but rather an effort to have the physically strongest wolves absorb blows from rogue prey animals or rival predators.  That the dominance fights observed in captive wolves in the 1970s were the result of an ecology error, putting wolves from rival packs into single enclosures.  Fox (1972, 1973) gave a reasonably accurate description of how wolves behave if you put a bunch of adult strangers in a zoo together: the young adult males fight, the winner of that fight wins first access to food, and the mate of the winner gets the most resources for her puppies.

However, time rolls forward, and advances like hidden cameras (and the resurgence of wild wolf populations) allow us to watch wolves without needing to capture them first.  Mech (1999) follows some such wolves around, and quickly realizes that dominance and submission aren’t nearly as important among wolves who chose to make a pack.  Stahler et al. (2002) figure out a better way to introduce stranger wolves in captivity, and get full cooperation among young adult males.  Nowadays drones and radio collars get 1000s of times the wolf data Fox had to work with, and reveal intense cooperation with little more than play-fighting among puppies.

The Encounter comes out 1997.  Mech publishes the first big takedown of the alpha concept 1999.

Did an error occur anywhere in this process?

No, in that Applegate presumably doesn’t own a Time Matrix and published a book based on the scientific consensus at the time about how wolf social dynamics worked.

Yes, in that the error is pretty distracting — I get drawn up short by it every time I reread #3, and I know others have too.

No, in that the error was corrected in the graphic novel adaptation.

Yes, in that the error is still present in the audiobook, and Michael Crouch delivers the moment about Jake being backed into a dominance fight with all of Tobias’s exasperated humor.

No, in that the error allows for some character moments, both silly (Jake peeing on trees) and sweet (Jake being ready to take on an entire rival pack alone, over a rabbit he doesn’t want).

Yes, in that the error takes away from one of the series’ most fundamental purposes, to educate kids about animals.

Anyway, books are great, science is imperfect, and I think the more we all engage with amateur criticism the more we’re all going to learn about what counts as an error in fiction writing with inspiration in scientific reality.

[fipindustries]

does F.I.P stand for anything in particular or is it a secret

ah, my favourite question to answer, fuck it, this time im going to give the long answer:

a primer on FIP

you know.

i dont have the best memory of my past, i truly dont. i claim that certain things happen at certain ages but there is no way for me to know for sure.

long long ago i decided, a bit at random, that the age at which i came up with the concept of FIP industries might have been when i was eleven. that was a guess, an educated guess but a guess all the same.

i know the very first idea of something akin to fip industries came to me on a family trip after watching the now forgotten cartoon show called the project zeta. and this all happened roughly in 2003 - 2004. so that is why i use that date.

which would mean that its been 20 years since i came up with this project. i do remember distinctly that i promised my self at that age that i would not allow maturity or growing up to take this thing away from me. that i would not forget this story or these characters. indeed that i would make it grow and dedicate the surely considerable resources i would have as an adult to make it come true.

and i didnt.

ten years after that, when i was 21, i wrote a novel called F.I.P. industries. it's... fine, for a first draft of a first work of someone who had never written a novel before at 21 years of age. it develop the story, it crystalized it. it gave it a coherent shape and a strong foundation. what's more, it cemented the arcs of many of its key characters, characters that had started as broken, improvised toys made out of key chains and legos and pieces of toy cars. the lore also went through an EXTENSIVE overhaul, i incorporated elements from other stories, fused characters together into a single character, changed the race and gender of many other characters, changed dates, names and arcs around and streamlined the whole thing.

then in 2020 i decided to overhaul the entire lore a second time. dramatically changing the timeline and the importance of certain characters, cannibalizing a bunch of other stories, retooling a lot of things and, once again, pushing everything into a new direction.

and of course i should add that during those 20 years i kept adding characters, side stories, spin offs, lore, backstories and actually continued the story along. twenty years have passed both in the real world and in-universe.

and given that this is the story's 20th aniversary (i think), it is time for me to share this story with all of you, from beggining to end, explaining every character along the way. this is going to be a long and arduous excercise and i genuenly dont know if i am going to get through it all, but i will try all the same.

ill be making a series of posts under the tag #FIPindustries the story can be divided in three eras, it will be one masterpost per era, where i will go over the main chronology of the story and the main characters in each era.

Era 1, also known as the golden years covers the founding and original expansion of fip industries as a research lab covering multiple different disciplines and fields of studies, trying to find synergies between the different investigations. this was all financed and directed by its founder, Filander Ignatius Patrick. this era ends with the collapse of the company during a terrible incident that ended up killing, vanishing or transmutating most of its employees. what few survivors there were left scattered to the winds. key characters in this era are Montogmery J. Black, also known as the shadow, Craig Sterling, legally assigned as grim reaper, and Franchesca Turimov, cyborg, rabble rouser, bad news.

Era 2, also known as the dormant era, covers the fallout of fip industries collapse and the different stories of the multiple scavengers that managed to salvage the lost technology from the ruins of the company. this era is mainly dominated by Maximillian Sicamore, a sinister man with many secrets and even more plans, who used to be an employee at the company and one of the few survivors of the collapse. key characters in this era are Maximillian Sicamore, criminal mastermind, proud father, The four crazy kids, Marten, Ralph, Sarah and jessica, freelance heroes, The harpsichord crew, sky pirates.

Era 3, is the return of FIP industries to its former glory under the helm of maximillian's son, Erik Sicamore, who takes over his father's empire, re hires many of the old scientists that survived (and many of those who didnt as well), and includes a fresh batch of new blood, amongst which you can find many of fip industries old enemies. Under the control of Erik the company is redirected to more "charitable" goals, such as finding a source of infinite renewable energy for the world (which is all a front for his real plans, killing god). key characters for this era are Erik Sicamore, leader of FIP industries, broken man, trans, Peter, tamed serial killer, Leenard and Sasha, scientists, lost in time, lost in space

with this quick introduction you should be ready to parse whatever the more indepth dives i might make some day on each era in the oncoming posts.

welcome to F.I.P. Industries

[artbyblastweave]

What superhero setting do you see Taylor being happiest in?

Marvel

Dc

Or my hero academia?

In one of my earliest coherent posts on this site, I clocked Worm as the result of a Marvel or DC style setting being allowed to run twice as long as either of those settings have ever allowed their canon to advance; the in-universe timeline of the modern cape era is 15 years at Marvel and an ill-defined 10-20 at DC. Worm is at the Kingdom Come bad-future stage; it's the gritty elseworld of a more conventional superhero setting that rotted on the vine. Crucially, it's very, very hard to justify why the wild-west walking-atom-bomb settings of Marvel and DC wouldn't devolve into something like Worm, if allowed to press forward. In both of those settings there have been scads of storylines predicated on the idea that the settings are inherently unstable powder kegs, but they're almost never allowed to reach that true inflection point. (I would consider Secret Wars a credible exception to this; taken together, the Bendis/Hickman metaplots read like the Last Great Reckoning of the unaccountable cowboy capes, with their fuckups and overreach ultimately leading to the literal destruction of the universe. But it did go right back to normal, so.)

This is a long-winded way of saying that I think Taylor would hate or at least be uncomfortable in both settings; assuming this is a Taylor with any kind of experience, she'd read the writing on the wall, and she'd realize that this is basically the larval stage of the dysfunction that ate Earth Bet. And she'd be in a much worse position to do anything about it, because the looming dysfunction is so decentralized; no final boss, just a succession of increasingly powerful cosmic fuckheads who try to paint themselves as ultimate threat material, each stepping over the cooling bodies of the ones that tried this last month.

(Actually, I'm now envisioning a Marvel or DC crossover where the twist is that Taylor being dumped into the setting imported the narrative rules under which the Wormverse runs, and this presents an apocalyptic threat to either setting. One week of cold-open tier adventures leaves New York an unlivable ruin. A hero actually fails to stop a stolen nuke from going off and it leads to noticeable atmospheric changes. Capes abruptly start to weigh each other's shady behavior and interpersonal betrayal with a weight appropriate for, say, secretly running a villain brainwashing scheme for several years and wiping the mind of any hero who learns about it, and no team is capable of functioning. Capes start staying mostly dead. Capes start aging. There's a period of everyone's lives in which they've started operating under the laws of causality, and a ten-year dream-time blur in their memories where an impossible volume of events happened. Etc. Etc. Etc.)

MHA.... I don't actually know an incredible amount about the setting, beyond the fact that powers are ubiquitous, have been for a while, and the settings cape scene is unbelievably rigorously regulated and yoked compared to that of the Wormverse. Because of the circles I run in on here, It mostly comes up in the context of how it's perceived to have failed to thoughtfully grappled with its worldbuilding implications and character arcs, but I can't really comment meaningfully on it. My tentative assessment is that Taylor wouldn't get on with a cape scene that's that aggressively regimented without the justification of the Endbringers; I can't really get a good read on how she'd react to the suppression of quirk use (is this a thing?) outside of approved hero contexts, although I doubt that it would be a good reaction. One real difficulty when trying to extrapolate Taylor's politics (as opposed to her ethics) is that we only see her as a traumatized teen in a war zone, followed by a hyperfocused optimizer, so it's hard for me to project how she'd bounce off the political mundanities of a cape scene that's dysfunctional but not untenably so. Honestly it might depend on who antagonized her first.

Ultimately, though, a version of Taylor who's seen enough for this question to have any crunch is a version of Taylor who's gonna have a very difficult time being happy anywhere. Even the ending isn't "Thank God I can move on with my life" Taylor. It's resigned Taylor. There is no place for her in a world that doesn't need her. And a world where she can thrive is sort of its own condemnation.

[changelingsandothernonsense]

Hello dear friend,

I was wondering if you have a favorite Josh era and when you have time or spoons, if you’d tell me about it or even (if you wanted to) share your favorite art. ❤️

Hi Winter, First thank you for sending this ask, it means the world to me at the moment. Things have been highly overwhelming and I love yacking about the rat muse when I'm down like this. <3 My favourite Josh era might be the Arkanis era (post-Corprus disease pre-Nerevarine). It covers the quests Corprus Cure, Mehra Milo and the Lost Prophercies, The Path of the Incarnate and Urshilaku Nerevarine. As well as a few Twin Lamps and Morag Tong quests and a murder misery in Vivec City. He's got a sense that he needs to at least see through getting the information that he'd stolen from Holamayan to the Urshilaku out in the Ashlands. He's not convinced that he really is the Incarnate like everyone says but not many people can say they survived Corprus Disease with their mind at least some what intact. He's struggling with keeping his mind present, however and it's what starts his rampant sleep avoidance. The less sleep he has, the less likely he is to connect to the Blight Hive. This backfires a lot. He's looking for answers as to why things have gone the way they've gone. He wants to know why these creatures keep calling him Nerevar and he wants to know why he's been cursed in the way that he has. He doesn't believe he's the Nerevarine but he's never been this accepted by people before. It's the first time he starts embracing his Ashlander side and starts using his father's name. He feels connected to something and he's always searched for that sense of belonging.

He's also madly in love with his Urshilaku Guide and it's driving him nuts.

This version of Josh is just finding his purpose for the first time. Before that he felt like he was aimlessly flailing about. He started working as a vigilante freeing slaves and burning down plantations and markets. This purpose was born out of a desire for revenge on his behalf. Being called the Nerevarine is something he's still deeply uncomfortable with but he is curious as to why he's being flung into these prophecies. Josh after Corprus finds some direction and is slowly regaining stability in the new body he's in. He's gone through a lot with his recovery. The wasting of his muscles, the 60% body burn and the removal of both his right pectoral and the first two toes and half the ball of his right foot left him severely weakened. It took him a few months to be able to stand with the assistance of crutches and he was stuck being unable to really get around without them until he designed his foot prosthesis out of scrap he'd found in Dwemer Ruins.

It's a fundamental change in his character that gives him some perspective. He's very reactionary and it's not often at that point in his life he gets that time to just sit and be. After he puts on Moon-and-Star he's got a whole other set of problems. The progress he's made during those months he was sick and then finding himself again is fundamental to who he becomes later and why he feels a certain responsibility for what happens next. Deep down he knows he chose it and he feels like a puppet because of it. It's Josh before he gets that constant apathetic melancholy that defines his character after the Main Quest. He feels like he might have a life ahead of him, like the darkness from his childhood and adolescence was behind him. It's his most hopeful.

As far as art, my faves so far are from this time period, I think it's the version I draw the most.

This one I still love (my actual fav is the nude version but this one gives you the creation of his never nude robe so...) He's meant to be lazing about in Etana Ilaba'andul (Erra's older brother)'s guest yurt. This concept kinda predates this whole Arkanis concept but is what gave birth to it. As a result he's missing a few scars and moon-and-star is present but it's meant to be around that time. This is really when I decided he'd have different designs for different periods. Before that I hadn't settled on any design for him. It was just a handful of ideas.

This one was 100% painted because of my Kogoruhn fic and is the most up to date depiction of this version of Josh. My next work will also be based on a scene from this fic. Part of this work involves the hivemind connection that he keeps losing himself to, and it's a huge aspect of how I visualise Corprus and the Sixth House to work. Arkanis is when I figured out Josh as a character, and I think that's why I like it so much. It's the most fleshed out.

[mx-piggy]

Hooray! I'm not several days late to reviewing this week's Futurama. Though, I did forget it was Hulurama day until like an hour ago. If you want the TLDR, I really enjoyed Quids Game, more than I think other people might have. As always, spoilers ahead!!

I'll be honest, I'm not 100% sure what I think about this episode. I really liked it, but it definitely had things that I know people will take issue with. At the moment, I'd confidently give the episode a 7/10, though I'm more than prepared to bump it up to 7.5 or 8 if I watch/read a review of it that reassures me that I'm not being blind to this being the secret worst episode of Hulurama.

All of us watched the episode and knew that all of the characters would be somehow revived by the end. So, of course the focus of the episode was more on the comedy. I personally think that it worked well enough, though I think that some of the comedy easily could come off as meanspirited, not unlike some of the comedy in the Comedy Central era of the show, seeing as the joke is 'oh this character's dead'. I read through some posts on here to gauge the reaction to this episode, and right away I saw a complaint about the joke where Fry decapitates Professor Farnsworth and reacts to it casually. I completely understand why you would take issue with that, and I'm a little on the fence about it myself. But, also, I think maybe (and feel free to disagree with me) it would have been even more 'upsetting' to see another moment of Fry being made to feel awful in this episode.

I do think that, if you don't like the Squid Game plot of the episode, it's going to ruin Quids Game for you. And, I can see why you wouldn't like it. It did remind me a bit of the anthology episodes, like in the Prince and the Product when the car versions of the characters all get murdered and it's given very little weight, because it's supposed to be comedic/without canonical consequence. So, I can understand that people might have found the episode not enjoyable because you're just watching your favourite tertiary characters get killed without it actually meaning anything. But, I had fun with the episode. As a Squid Game parody, it really worked for me even though I haven't seen it. Parasites Regained, the Dune parody episode, was an episode I didn't enjoy much because of its reliance on Dune. So, I think this episode did a good job at being its own interesting thing while borrowing from Squid Game's premise of 'childhood games to the death'. I thought that the games themselves were cool, and all in all, the setting and premise of the episode was cool and I thought it was executed pretty well. (I'm going to stop 'both sides-ing' this review from now on, though, so I can give my opinion of the episode and stop worrying about other people's opinions lmao.)

I'm a huge fan of Fry flashback episodes, and I think that they make for some of the show's strongest emotional moments. It's weird because I had no idea that this episode was going to be a Fry flashback episode, and, coincidentally, I rewatched Cold Warriors last week because I was sick. I'm glad I did, because this one definitely reminds me of Cold Warriors, probably because of its focus on younger Fry.

Anyway, while I don't think this is the best Fry flashback episode we've ever had, it's definitely a good one and it felt like it brought something new to the table. I like that we get to see a more humanising side to Fry's parents, and I thought that the ending really was emotionally effective. The ending montage of Fry's parents helping him win reminded me a lot of the flashback to Leela's parents helping her throughout her life without her knowing, or the flashback in Lethal Inspection. But, and I didn't think about this until reading someone's post on here, it was really refreshing to get a flashback for once where it's not necessarily a moment that's secretly sweet. It was one of those moments of Futurama that gave me chills with its weight. Fry is distraught at losing his best friend, in a moment that we know sort of sends his 20th century life into a sort of friendless trajectory, and his mom thinks she's just given her son a great birthday party by making him feel like a winner when he so rarely does. God, it's such a great moment. Perhaps I'm reading too much into it, but I could definitely see this as being a key moment that would make Fry completely give in to his sort of innate mediocrity, associating this one victory with losing his friends. That's just the angst lover in me. I would love to read some Fry character analyses after this episode.

I liked that the episode used Gedgie, seeing as we're already familiar with how is relationship with Fry turns out later on (as shown in Cold Warriors).

Anyway, this episode was pretty funny, I'd say more than The One Amigo. It was fun seeing so many of the characters there together, and I think that the writer(s) handled this episode well given the sheer amount of characters there. Of course, probably my favourite moment was Zapp sliding between Fry's legs and saying 'hello, sailor'. The Frapp nation must be elated. Honestly, I need to write something Frapp-related. If I do, I'll share the link here.

Another joke I found funny was Fry saying 'I hope my grandma's proud of me down in hell'. My favourite line in the original run of the show is Fry's 'we can't just dump him in the gutter like grandma's ashes', so I think it's a small but funny bit of continuity that grandma was probably fucking awful.

Anyway, great episode. Seeing as The One Amigo felt like it should have been more emotional, I was glad that this episode handled its emotional beats very well. I really am looking forward to the rest of the season after this banger episode. As always, I'd love to hear what you guys thought!

[asteria7fics]

hey! while i don't want to assume that you're still doing this challenge, but if you are, i'd love to hear your thoughts on bebe! your analysis on wendy was excellent, so i just want to hear more lol

🏳️‍🌈 A sexuality headcanon

🏳️‍⚧️ A gender headcanon

🧸 A headcanon about their childhood

👻 A headcanon about what scares them

🎶 A headcanon about music

👽 A headcanon about a weird quirk of there

💝 A headcanon about their love language

🫂 A friendship headcanon

💔 An angsty headcanon

🪢 A headcanon about their family

📓 A headcanon about their hobbies

👗 A headcanon about their clothes

🔪 A headcanon relating to fighting/violence

🌟 A headcanon about their desires/wishes

🍫 A headcanon about food

🎭 A headcanon about what they lie about

❤️‍🔥 A romantic headcanon

💄 An appearance headcanon

🖕 A headcanon relating to anger

😬 A headcanon about the worst thing they’ve done

😶 A random headcanon

(sorry about the number of questions here. Answer as much or as little as you want!)

-<3

Hell yeah dude! I’m happy to keep doing these as long as people have characters they want me to blab about!

And truthfully, talking about Bebe will probably actually help me a ton. She makes super limited appearances in EWILY but I’d like to explore her character more in the future!

Anyway, let’s get into it!

🏳️‍🌈 - So deep in the walk-in closet it’s actually a little embarrassing. Bebe’s the kinda girl that acts straight 99% of the time, but WILL make out with her female friends when she’s drunk. But it, like, didn’t mean anything she swears.

🏳️‍⚧️ - Cis girl. Definitely most comfortable when presenting high feminine.

🧸 - I kinda like to think Bebe was a little bit spoiled as a child. Not rotten, she was just one of those kids that got whatever she wanted. As an only child, she was doted on pretty heavily by her parents and extended family.

👻 - Not much truly scares Bebe, though she would definitely be the kinda girl that agrees to see a scary movie with a hot guy just so she can scream and grab hold of his arm. If she was in a really terrifying situation though? She is on her knees begging for her life, all confidence is out the window.

🎶 - Bebe loves popular music, and is a MASSIVE Swiftie!!! Owns every album, spends hours online discussing lore and hint drops. Currently, I think she’d also really like Sabrina Carpenter, Olivia Rodrigo and Meg Thee Stallion.

👽 - She’s so…. Normal, that it’s hard to imagine her doing anything ‘quirky’. I do imagine she probably went through a phase of biting her cute little pink pens and pencils until someone scared her about it ruining her teeth (probably Kyle making an offhand comment lmao).

💝 - Gift giving. NEXT! Ahaha no but seriously loves receiving gifts. I think she gives love with a lot of physical touch though. Big on hugs and hand holding.

🫂 - As we know, Wendy is her BFF, though Bebe is very popular and makes friends extremely easily. She’s one of those people that will go into the bathroom at a party and come out with a whole new friend group and plans with them for the following weekend.

💔 - Bebe stopped trying to keep a boyfriend in the summer between freshman and sophomore year, claiming to be over stupid boys and wanting to be in her ‘hot girl era’, but she was really just tired of being disappointed by jerks who treated her like garbage. She’s really kind of given up on the idea of ‘love’ as something real and attainable.

🪢 - She is very close with both of her parents, spending tons of time gossiping and shopping with her mom if she isn’t with her other friends. She’s her father’s perfect little angel, and he definitely brought her chocolates and consoled her after her worst breakups.

📓 - Bebe’s top hobby is being a social butterfly, but she also really loves makeup and fashion! I could see her attempting to become an influencer during college for some extra income. She also definitely used to be a horse girl, though she probably no longer keeps horses into her teens.

👗 - Perfect transition from the last question hehe! Bebe keeps up with most trends, so at the current moment she would wear tons of Y2K inspired clothes! Low waisted jeans, mini skirts and baby tees. She has a revolving wardrobe and rarely wears the same combination of clothes twice.

🔪 - Bebe can and will fuck you up. You saw what she did to Butters. Talk shit about one of her girls? Start praying brother it’s over for you, especially if she’s sloshed.

🌟 - She would claim to be happy with the idea of being independent, as some kind of influencer or maybe a personal assistant to a super famous celebrity, but she secretly fantasizes about having an extravagant wedding and starting a family. Yes, she’s had a wedding Pinterest board since she was like twelve.

🍫 - Unfortunately probably succumbs to a lot of social pressure to stay thin, using a ton of super unhealthy trend diets throughout her early teens in an attempt to stay skinny. As she gets older though she starts to accept herself as she’s meant to be, with a lot of help from Wendy and a great many lectures about the health risks associated with those horrible, bullshit diets.

🎭 - Ahahaha being straight!! No, but seriously, she lies constantly to her parents about where she is and who she’s with. Despite being spoiled, they don’t love some aspects of her lifestyle (namely, doing lots of drugs and having lots of sex ahaha).

❤️‍🔥 - As I’ve mentioned, Bebe has sort of given up on the idea of being in love. She has a few sexual partners that she revisits occasionally, but the second they start catching feelings she dips.

💄 - GORGEOUS!!! STUNNING!!! Big, bouncy blond curls, round features and the most insanely blue eyes out of anyone in town (second is probably Stan tbh, brother stares into your soul with those things). And her makeup is always FLAWLESS?? An actual guru, she should really go to cos school.

🖕 - Bebe’s a bad bitch, we all know this, though she’s got a longer fuse than you might expect. Unless she’s drunk. I think this whole ask has taught us all not to let Bebe get too drunk, huh?

😬 - Nothing! She’s a perfect angel and has never done anything wrong! JK she sleeps with girls’ boyfriends on the regular. None of her friends though, don’t worry. She’s not a total monster. (Also, the whole list thing? Yeah, that was rotted. I support her wrongs and her rights)

😶 - Despite appearing very infrequently in EWILY, Bebe actually plays a very important role. Aside from hosting the post benefit party at her house, of course. She also probably helped Wendy when she was running for class president! Aaaw girls supporting girls, love them!

Thank you for these, anon!! I really don’t get enough of a chance to stop and think about some of the side characters like I did when I was working on TSOB, so it’s helpful to be handed an opportunity to do so! I hope my answers please and sparkle!

[lithominium]

Ughhh hahah im ahving a “nobody under 40 really expects anything good to happen ever again” moment right now going “climate change has completely ruined seasons as we know them, not the hundreds of thousands of deaths caused by sea level rise and (un)natural disasters caused by global warming” and “every single product in the entire world is designed to break down in a year at the most and every year it gets worse, including housing”

Its not like yoi can go buy a good that actually functions, because All goods are like this. Tools are godawful now. You buy a brand new sandblaster from a reputable company and it literally sucks shit. You buy a modern reissue of music equipment and its shoddily built and doesnt work right or something. Houses being built in the modern era are thrown up in a week and collapse with people inside a week later. Video games come out and are half baked and dont change when people ask

The consumers dont have power anymore, they havent for Years.

Every time i look at politics (USA because im unfortunately usamerican, but ive seen some godawful shit in other countries too) i go “well he cant nearly be as bad as the last guy” but somehow they always one up each other for being more genocidal and more awful. On both ends of the spectrum. It used to be 3 years ago “do i wanna vote for the awful person or the awful person who actively wants to kill me” but now its literally just. “Person who wants to kill me or person who wants to kill me.” And every single worthless politician in existence is doing the same thing. If i voted for someone who didnt want to kill me, so few people would end up voting for them, that the people who DO want to kill me would win anyways. My old college town banned public homosexuality. Tennessee of course. Worthless ass state.

I dont doomscroll, i know how ungodly unhealthy it is to scroll through tags showing off how bad everything is. But its inescapable. I go to funny youtube videos and see wade dankpods complaining about how all tools suck while he tries to rebuild a car. I scroll through my dashboard which is supposed to be memes and fandom content and its “this us democrat just said ‘yaknow i really think its great that israel is finally killing all those subhuman palistinians” and what the hell am i supposed to do about that??

I just need. Some semblance of hope. Anything just to tell me it will be alright. Tell me theres a reason for me to not steal a plane and fly it into a god damn mountain so my final moments will be doing the one thing i really love.

[yanderelmk]

May I ask headcanons for a yandere lady bone demon? Since I watch her scenes I bet she would touch her 'destiny' words on gn reader telling destiny wants them to be together, it's something that got stuck on my head when I think on it XD and some quotes if you want? 👉👈

Thanks a lot!

The LBD would definitely have the Mayor watching and guarding you 24/7. Your every move is carefully kept under watch so you don't accidentally stumble upon and ruin her plans.

You may have moments where you wake up unsure of how you got somewhere, in those moments you likely got too close to something so the Bone Demoness took the liberty of safely relocating you.

"Our being together is simply another part of beautiful destiny. You will be the crown jewel in my new era of perfection."

If possible, she's going to find a way to mark either you or your aura so no one, be they mortal or immortal, can mistake you as anything but hers.

"Sweet blessing of mine, there is no need for you to worry. Everything will work out as it should, all you must do is simply sit back and let me carve out a new world where we can live in harmony. Is that not what you desire most of all? The two of us side by side in a utopia of peace where the imperfections of the world can no longer harm us? I will do everything within my power to make that paradise a reality for us both."

The LBD is normally a collected, calm individual, but that goes right out the window the second it looks like someone is trying to hurt you, she'll possess them just to make them throw themselves off the biggest height she can find...if she's feeling merciful or is pressed for time.

She doesn't have time to constantly be punishing the unworthy who lay their hands upon you or sully your ears with lies about just how perfect you are. Luckily, the Mayor is all to glad to assist his lady in such matters, and the man can get rather...creative.

With how manipulative she is, it's probably necessary in her mind to keep you as under her thumb as possible. She might even get you to start believing in the destiny she talks about. After all, who doesn't want a world free of strife? Wouldn't things be easier if you just let her take control? After all, she treats you with such love and care, that has to mean she'll be just as kind to everyone else in her new era, right?

Of course if you push her too far she won't hesitate to possess you. One way or another, you're going to be by her side for all of eternity.

"Their imperfections have clouded your judgement, my love. The only thing left to do is grant you this mercy and heal the fractured logic that has made you turn from me."

I just realized the LBD heavily fits the song Perfect Circle - Pet:

"I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons. I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason. I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son. We're one and the same I must isolate you... Isolate and save you from yourself."