#the song is “drive” by halsey

[hurricanejane]

[xcreepycutie]

Photography: @purple-aesthetica

[thecoldcoffeecup]

let's get away on a roman holiday

[ratilyn]

I have a demo for my song which I don't mind. While I wait till it's completely finished, mixed and mastered and all that fun stuff, I made a music video to kind of showcase what im seeing in my mind? Its not exactly right as it was just free stock footage and im definitely no editor but it was fun to make and helps me see what to work on in the song. (Theyre all meant to be the same people BTW but it was hard to get the footage I wanted of the same people)

[wastedpurity]

The summer I turned sixteen

All of these photos are from the last time Venus retrograded in Leo

I finally was kissed and went on my first date and got my license

It is still a moment I look back on fondly

And now that I am farther from the situation, seven years specifically, I think I may have had a crush on my best friend

But it was sweet and very on par for my eleventh house Virgo Venus

Then—it was just life and feeling

[this-is-a-podcast-fanblog]

Goncharov (1973) dir. Martin Scorcese

I’m so glad Tumblr recommended this movie to me, it was AMAZING. I love the description of Andrey as “the hungry fox”, it suits his character so well, how he was always looking for prey and Goncharov was only supposed to be a means to an end before his feelings developed. 

[xo-cori]

because second’s not the same

pairing: abby anderson x fem!reader

summary: morals become blurred in a motel room with your boyfriend's ex-girlfriend.

warnings: smut (MDNI), comphet on reader’s end, internalized homophobia, lots of angst, cheating, sorry owen you seem cool, submissive top!abby ftw, hair pulling, fingersucking, facesitting, abby makes reader answer a call while getting down n dirty, they both hate men (real)

a/n: my first fic on this godforsaken app, hopefully it’s okay! this is based off of an old halsey song called “is there somewhere,” i highly recommend listening while you read

When your phone chimes twice at exactly ten o’clock on a Friday night, your heartbeat quickens and the air is stolen from your lungs. Your body seems to know who it is before you do. Maybe that should concern you or serve as a reminder of how much of a problem this is becoming, but instead, you unlock your phone and read the much anticipated message.

abby: Hey

abby: What are you up to tonight??

you: hey, i was just reading a bit before bed

abby: Sounds like a real party

you: shut up lol

you: why do you ask?

abby: Don’t make me say it

you: i’m making you say it

There’s a hesitance on Abby’s side, made obvious by how the text bubble appears and disappears as she types and deletes a response. It takes her a good minute to send another message.

abby: Just wanted to know if you’d meet me

abby: Please

you: there we go. be there in 20

Before you know it, you’re driving fifteen miles over the speed limit, chest tight and craving a release that only Abby can bring. You eventually step out of your car and into the near-empty parking lot of the old motel that you’ve become awfully familiar with these past few weeks.

Your feet guide you along the farthest side of the building, straight towards a room marked ‘93,’ and you invite yourself in.

In less than five minutes, your shirts are on the floor and her hands are on your hips and god, her thigh feels so good between yours. She always seems to know exactly what you need. More importantly, she wastes no time with giving it to you.

“Fuck,” Abby says, “been waiting for this all week.”

You nod in agreement, lost in the way she grinds you onto her with seemingly no effort. She sighs contentedly when your back arches, chest pressing into hers, enveloping her in your warmth and melting away all the stress of a long day. There’s a piece of heaven in this room with her. How could she worry about anything outside of it?

“Me too,” you reply. One of your hands grasps at her shoulder in attempt to steady yourself, caressing the tense muscle, while the other gently tugs her hair. The dirty blonde strands feel like silk between your fingers and you can smell the pine shampoo that she uses. It invades all of your senses. It makes you desperate for more. So, you tug harder. Her head falls back against the headboard with a groan and you use it as an opening, diving in to press your lips to her neck.

It’s messy, just how Abby likes it. Her grip on you tightens and she lets out a broken gasp.

She needs this just as much as you do, if not more– but you’re much more generous with the teasing.

“Feel good?” You mumble into her throat, before picking another patch of skin to suckle on. Every touch sends a bolt of electricity up her spine and decorates her freckled skin with goosebumps.

Still, Abby does what she does best, and clings to any power she still has. You don’t resist when she grabs you by the shoulders and pushes you back onto the bed. In fact, you only spread your legs wider so she can situate herself between them. Then, without wasting another moment, her lips come crashing down onto yours.

It’s always your favorite part of the night; when she kisses you so passionately that you can almost fool yourself into thinking it means something.

This isn’t supposed to mean anything, though.

You assure yourself that the sparks you feel are all make-believe, silently wrestling with the fact that you’ve never once felt this with Owen. Not even close.

Her tongue quickly finds yours in a heated battle for dominance that she’s already lost. There’s no telling just how long this goes on for– you’re so focused on the feeling of her large hands running up and down your body, soothing all the shame you feel about this arrangement as you caress her cheek with your thumb.

It’s a loving gesture. Too loving, Abby thinks. She shouldn’t enjoy it so much, but she does.

When she pulls away, your half-lidded eyes land on the redness on her face, her swollen lips, her hair that’s all messy from your wandering fingers. The dim light from the bedside lamp casts a glow to one side of her face, and a shadow on the other. The thumb that was once on her cheek starts moving toward her mouth, until it pushes past her waiting lips and she accepts it with a pleased hum.

You watch her intently as you press down on the center of her tongue. Her brows furrow up and she lets out a whine.

After a few more moments, you pull your thumb from Abby’s mouth and smear her own saliva across her lips. She opens her eyes to look down at you, finally, and you offer a warm smile. “You just take it.” You observe aloud. “Whatever I want, you just let it happen.”

It’s a stark difference from your relationship with Owen. There’s never any concern for what you want; though, to be honest, you wouldn’t be in a relationship with him if you could get actually get what you want. It’d be Abby’s apartment you go to every weekend. There’d be no motel and no deleted messages and no acting like mere acquaintances when Owen gets all of his friends together, including her and you.

If you could get what you wanted, you don’t think you’d ever want anything else ever again.

“Yeah.” She agrees, slightly muffled until you fully pull your hand away. “Whatever you want.”

Part of you feels bad. You have this woman wrapped around your finger, and you have to act like it’s nothing more than a convenience.

In reality, it’s everything to you.

So, the other part of you plans to take whatever you can from her.

“You really mean that?” You ask.

“Would I lie to you?” She asks in return.

You pat her cheek. “Lay down, then.”

Without another word, Abby does as she’s told. The two of you switch positions and she watches you peel off the rest of your clothes, while she lays in a grey sports bra and a pair of boxers.

She starts to feel excited when she thinks you’ll move down further like usual, your face nestled between her legs until you’re pulling orgasm from orgasm out of her.

Her heart nearly stops, though, when she sees you pull off your own panties and begin crawling up her body.

‘Excited’ doesn’t do it justice. You’ve hardly done anything and she already feels like she might die of happiness.

You feel her hands grab your ass, encouraging you to move much faster than you are, and you hesitantly oblige. “You can push me off if you need to, yeah?” You clarify. “Don’t wanna suffocate you or anything.”

Abby nods with a quiet mm-hmm only to appease you, but in her mind, suffocating to death while you sit on her face would be an honor. She’d probably die beneath you before the thought of pushing you off ever crosses her mind. For now, though, you do your best to be gentle as she ushers you to fully hover over her mouth.

Then, she pulls you down onto it.

A strangled moan escapes you when her tongue immediately finds its target, her patience clearly worn thin as she latches to your clit. Your hands fly down to grab her hair in attempt to ground yourself, but if you didn’t know any better, you’d think you’re having an out-of-body experience.

The worst part? Only Abby can make you feel this way.

Guilty, and so, so good.

Maybe she doesn’t know the extent of your feelings, but she knows your body like the back of her hand, and she uses that to her advantage. Her fingers dig into the pillowy flesh above your hip bones, surely hard enough to leave a few bruises, but you never complain about marks until you see them in the morning.

“Abs,” you manage breathlessly, “ease up, baby–”

You’re cut off by another moan as she somehow manages to pull you down further, unrelenting and making it impossible for you to escape. Not that you’d want to, anyways. So, you just grab her hair with one hand and grab the headboard with the other as your eyes flutter shut.

That is, until you hear your phone vibrate on the bedside table. Once, twice, three times; you soon realize that it isn’t stopping.

“Fuck.” You groan.

Abby looks up at you and slightly moves you down so she can speak, seemingly much more entertained by this than you. “Who’s calling?”

“It’s Owen,” you say truthfully, “I was supposed to go over to his place tonight, but here we are.”

Her eyebrows shoot up. “Wait, you blew him off for me?”

“No shit. I’ll just silence it and pretend I fell asleep.” You grumble. Then, you reach over to grab the phone before she takes a hold of your wrist.

“Answer it.” She says.

You can’t help but laugh despite the forming pit of anxiety in your stomach, because you know that she’s dead serious. “What?”

“You heard me. Answer it or I’ll stop.” She repeats, making your eyes widen.

“…Fine, but can you please—” You’re interrupted by Abby pressing the green button for you, and you quickly bring the phone towards your ear.

The sound of Owen’s voice makes your chest feel tight. “Hey,” he says with an obvious concern in his voice. “Sorry, did I wake you up?”

You open your mouth to respond, but you can only let out a gasp when you feel Abby’s lips wrap around your clit. Thankfully, her tongue moves more slowly than before, deciding to show you some mercy. “Yeah,” you breathe, “yeah, I fell asleep– I’m sorry, I really don’t feel good today. Think I might’ve caught something.”

It’s a pathetic excuse, but you can only hope he buys it. “Oh, that’s… uh, not good.” He mumbles, which makes you roll your eyes. “Do you want me to bring anything to your place? I have this cold medicine that could literally heal the bubonic plague, and I’m pretty sure I have some soup in one of these cabinets somewhere,”

You can hear him rummaging around on the other line. “No!” You blurt out. The last thing you need is Owen stopping by just to find out that you aren’t home. “No, I’m okay. Appreciate it, though.”

“You sure? If you’re worried about me getting sick, I can just leave it outside the door.” He continues.

“Really, Owen, it’s fine. Pretty sure I’ll feel better in the morning,” you assure him.

He sighs. “Whatever you say. Just let me know if you change your mind, okay? I’ll bring whatever you need.”

He’s kind. Too kind, considering your current situation. Abby’s mouth is latched to the most sensitive parts of you, her blue eyes staring up at you as you try your hardest to keep your voice steady. She kneads at the back of your thighs, getting you into a rhythm while you rut against her tongue.

All the while, you’re on the phone with a man who deserves much better. You’re aware of this. You tilt your head back with a shaky sigh.

“Okay,” you reply, “thanks, Owen. ‘Night.”

You don’t even wait for him to say it back before you hang up the phone, quickly throwing it off of the bed onto the carpeted floor. Abby smiles, and you can feel it. You reach down to grab a handful of her hair and pull it as hard as you can– which isn’t very hard, but it still makes her whine. “Fuck you,” you huff, thighs tensing on either side of her head, “I’m so close, Abs.”

Any annoyance you feel is overshadowed by the orgasm creeping up on you much quicker than usual. You already know that you’ll never forgive yourself for being so turned on by something so horrible.

Abby sticks her tongue out so that you can ride it, letting out moans of encouragement as you finally tip over the edge. Your mouth falls open and a gush of wetness fills Abby’s, which she happily laps up with her warm tongue. Her hands wander over your shivering body, listening to your muffled moans with her eyes trained on your face; more specifically, the tears that begin to run down your cheeks.

It doesn’t take much longer for you to crawl off of her face and crash into the bed beneath you, much to Abby’s dismay, but she doesn’t let it show. Instead, she crawls to your side, placing a strong arm over your stomach so she can pull you closer.

Though all of your instincts scream to push her away, you just curl into her and bury your face in the crook of her neck. She thinks maybe, just maybe, everything is fine; of course, until she hears you let out a quiet sob. One of her hands comes up to rub your back, a soothing gesture that only makes you cry harder.

“Hey,” Abby whispers, “are you… did I do something wrong? Was it the phone thing? ‘Cause if it is, I’m really sorry, I should’ve—”

“It isn’t that.” You mutter.

It’s only a half-lie. Honestly, you aren’t crying because you spoke to your boyfriend as if you weren’t hooking up with his ex, no. You’re crying because you thought it was the hottest thing ever.

“Isn’t it, though?” She questions. “Seriously, I fucked up and I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t fuck up, Abs– I swear, it’s not you, it’s just… this. All of this. I don’t like it.” You do your best to reassure her, but it only causes more confusion.

“What, and you think I do? Because I don’t. I like you, though, so I deal with it. That’s what we agreed to.” Abby says. You can tell she’s upset no matter how gentle her voice is. There’s a certain bite to it, a venom that you’re quick to pick up on. “He’s my friend too, you know. This isn’t easy for me either.”

This comment makes you rear back a bit, looking up at her with furrowed brows. “I know that, Abby. None of this is easy for either of us. He’s my boyfriend, and he was yours at one point, too.”

“Don’t remind me,” she scoffs.

You give her a stern look. “I’m serious. This is gonna end one way or another. Someone’s gonna find out.”

Her grip on your waist tightens. “No one’s gonna find out if we don’t let them find out.”

“You don’t know that.” You shake your head. “All it takes is one fuck up.”

“So, what do you wanna do? You wanna break this off now and go back to being acquaintances?” Abby asks, voice raised defensively.

“Obviously not!” You yell, sitting up and dragging the comforter along so you can cover yourself. “I love you, Abby. I love being with you and talking to you and—”

“Don’t fuckin’ say that.” She interrupts you, which is probably for the better.

It’s different for Abby, being one of Owen’s closest friends, because he’s unaware of how well she knows you and so he feels comfortable confiding in her about your relationship. A big problem he seems to have is that you’ve never once said the word love. Not to him, at least. Not about him.

Yet, here you are, throwing that word around just for her.

She wants to feel honored, but she finds herself only feeling guilt. The kind that makes her throat tighten and her heart drop.

You groan in frustration. “But it’s true!”

“So make it untrue!” She shouts back. “You can’t just… say shit like that, and expect me to be okay with it. You’re supposed to love Owen.”

A confession bubbles up in your chest, one that you know you should shake away, but your mouth moves before your brain can catch up. “But I don’t.” You mumble. “I want to. I just can’t.”

Abby stares at you like she’s seen a ghost. All conversations she’s had with Owen about you– ones about how he’d propose to you someday, wondering if you’d want to have kids, asking if it was too early on in the relationship to think about saving for a house– they all become null. The worst part? Abby thinks she might know exactly how you feel. “You can’t? What does that mean?” She asks.

“Exactly what it sounds like.” You reply. “I try, but I can’t. We go on dates, and the whole time, I’m just waiting for it to be over. We watch a movie together, and I pretend to fall asleep so he doesn’t try anything. It’s exhausting, Abby. None of it feels right. Every single fucking guy I’ve been with– it never feels right. The only relief has been you.”

Abby listens to your rant with a blank expression, reaching up to wipe some stray tears from your cheeks with her thumb. “So, you’re gay.” She says.

You quickly grab her wrist and shove her hand away. “I’m not gay.” You hiss.

She sighs. “You just sat on my face. You’re a little gay.”

“Okay, fine, maybe a little!” You throw your hands up defensively. “But I don’t like other women. I like you.”

Truthfully, it’s all too much for Abby to take in at once; she does her best to appear, knowing her best bet is to calm you down, but she can’t imagine how much it would break Owen to know this. To know that he’s now been left by two women due to a sexuality crisis. Would he think it’s his fault? Would he guess that Abby had something to do with it? She likes you too, maybe more than she knows, but it’s an impossible situation.

When you’re met with silence on Abby’s end, you continue. “You’re gonna think I’m horrible for this, but it’s true; I’ve been waiting for him to fuck up so I have a reason to leave him. Some nights, he tells me he’s going to a party and I’ll go to sleep hoping I wake up to a text from Manny about how Owen got a little too drunk and some girl looked enough like me,” you shrug, “I’ve had that scenario in my head for weeks. It’s so convenient.”

“You’re fucked up,” Abby shakes her head, “fantasizing about him cheating while you’re sleeping with his friend? Jesus.”

“But it’s true, right? Then I could just leave him. No goodbye, no nothing. I’d give him all his sweatshirts back and let him see me wearing yours instead.” You say, and she immediately recognizes that tone in your voice. Something dark, something you put on when you know what you want and you’re set on getting it.

It hurts to hear you talk about her friend like he’s nothing more than an obstacle. It hurts even more to know that, deep down, she’d felt the exact same way once.

Wishing he’d leave her, knowing that he never would.

“Yeah.” She huffs, now visibly doing her best to avoid eye contact. Her eyes skitter around the room and it doesn’t take long for you to regret speaking your mind. “That sounds like an easy way out, but you should know by now that there’s nothing easy about being with Owen. Nothing’s easy about cheating, either.”

You nod in agreement. There’s a heavy silence after that, one that leaves you both staring down and biting your cheeks and feeling like all your sins had been laid out in front of you. The weight of it all is overbearing, but still so worth it.

“It’s easier with you,” you mutter after a minute, “and I know you wouldn’t be here if you didn’t feel the same.”

“I wouldn’t.” Abby agrees, deciding to leave it at that. “Do you… uh, do you wanna stay the night? Here, with me?”

Finally, your eyes meet hers, and she hates the way this simple action reignites the spark inside of her. You tilt your head. “Oh, yeah. I didn’t really return the favor, huh?”

Her jaw clenches, teeth grinding together as she fights back a smile. She shouldn’t be so infatuated with you– your every movement, every word– but she is.

The smile escapes her efforts and she shakes her head. “No. No, you didn’t.”

[strayflowersstarsandlove]

Texting bf!skz song lyrics ✨🎶💌

Trying new stuff💃🏻 let me know if you'd like me to do more themed or topic specific fake texts instead of just random daily ones maybe?☺️

Bangchan -Insomnia, Ashley Tisdale

Leeknow -Young god, Halsey

Changbin -Keep Driving, Harry Styles

Hyunjin -Shut up and dance, Walk the moon

Han -Love song, YUNGBLUD

Felix -Angel baby, Troye Sivan

Seungmin -Lovesick girls, Blackpink

In -Softcore, The neighborhood

🖤hyung line🖤

🖤maknae line🖤

[brothersinablackcar]

I don’t think I reposted this here? Let’s remedy that for Wincest Wednesday. Based on the song “Drive”, by Halsey. “And California never felt like home to me until I had you on the open road and now we're singing...”

[foxes-that-run]

MH cried on stage about haylor?? I need to see this give me link

The TLDR is that the meltdown video: ramps up at 3:49, there is also this tumblr post by someone who was there about it and this news about it.

Maylor/Haylor storytime with too much info

Matty Healy's villain origin story is that he’s a nepo baby “Artiste” that was passed by the major labels. Meanwhile Harry grew up nearby and was signed for £20m by a major label off a TV show. MH has been low key obsessed with Harry, eventually dated his girlfriend, dumped her and she said she had temporary insanity. He said they never dated in 2014, doing so would be emasculating and he released a HS diss track at the time. In 2024 he said TTPD does not reflect the relationship they had.

MHs parents are actors Tim Healy and Denise Welch, overseas 1D fans may know his mum from this Loose Women interview with 1D. His parents had a messy public divorce covered in Tabloids.

1999 - When his mum was featured on This is Your Life, in this clip, 10 year old Matty said he wanted to be "a popstar and top class musician" with his mum looking tense.

2002 - the 1975 was formed with school friends in Manchester, it will be 10 years before they have success.

2009 - 1975 met and was unsigned by every major label. Their manager formed an independent label and signed them for £20.

2010 - One Direction is formed on X-Factor with Harry, 5 years younger also from Cheshire, 30 minutes drive from Mattys hometown of Wilmslow, both near Manchester. 1D becomes a national sensation and sign a £1m record deal with a major label.

2011 - One Direction continues to grow with the X-Factor tour, records Up All Night and starts their own tour.

2012 - What Makes You Beautiful is #1 in 16 countries including the UK and US. Harry starts dating Taylor Swift and the world loses it's mind over them and the band.

2012 - December - Halsey posts "That Haylor Song" on Tumblr which went viral, it mocks I Knew You Were Trouble

2013

2013, February - 1975 get their first top 20 song, Chocolate that reaches #19 (Teenage Kicks was on #6 in the same chart, on it's way down from #1).

2013, September 3 - Harry tweeted that he downloaded the self-titled 1975 album. Matty Healy told an interviewer that he went from 4k followers to 15k followers in 10 minutes. Matty said they became mates, he texted Harry to thank him. The 1975 covered What Makes You Beautiful:

2013, December 28 - Halsey posted to Tumblr photos with Matty Healy and in a hotel room with him, saying "Matty and I got close this year which was amazing"

All fab, or so it seems.

2014

2014 - January - Halsey starts writing about Matty Healy, later in 2014 she said she went to a concert and met him

2014, February - Taylor finishes 1989, Harry and Taylor start dating again and seem to for the rest of the year.

2014, March 20, fallout boy shares this photo of Matty Healy, fallout boy and 1d minus Harry to instagram captioned “London hangs.” I don’t know when the photo with Harry is from, the jacket is St Laurent 2014 and it first appeared on live journal June 2014. Harry wore the coat again in September.

2014, March - MH plays call or delete with Harry's BFF Nick Grimshaw and calls Niall and Harry, he says he has Niall’s number because he is writing a song for one direction and that he had never spoken to Harry before (but had his number and Harry recognised his voice and/or just would know Nick had the show on and who was on it.) MH asks to borrow £5k and Harry agrees. Harry probably knew he was on Nick Grimshaw.

2014, April - his mum says MH is writing a song for 1D and talks about Anne.

2014, April 24 - Halsey covered a 1975 song.

2014, May - Halsey writes about her hand in Matty's curls.

2014, May 8 - One Direction record Change Your Ticket in Fasano Hotel, the TV Special includes footage (2:12) of Julien and Niall figuring out the lyrics and melody in Rio De Janeiro. The band then toured

2014, May 24 - One Direction and the 1975 both play the Glasgow Big Weekend, though 1D fly in for just their show they are then in London.

2014, July - Anne tweets Denise with a throwback photo

At some point they play Change Your Ticket for Matty who Later said:

“They got me in and they said, ‘We really like your band. Would you write a song for us?’,” Matt revealed to Spin. “[But] they didn’t seem to be actually that interested. They just wanted to play me this song that they said was really, really inspired by us.", “Listen guys, fill your boots, the song doesn’t sound that much like ‘Girls’. But the guitar and the whole vibe of it is a complete lift, So take the guitars off and we’re good." “It would have been a bad 1975 song.”

2014 - October 27 - 1989 released. On the same day Halsey's debut 93, about Matty Healy also is released.

Taylor says to Rolling Stone that her publicist has said a relationship is not a good idea:

‘How long do we have on the clock — before something comes along and puts a wrench in it, or your publicist calls and says this isn’t a good idea?'” (bless you @cntfightmydemonsthyknowhowtoswim)

2014 - October 29 - Halsey gives an interview on the All Things Go podcast where she says she had met Matty. She talked about her debut single 93 and Matty Healy, she has posted to Tumblr indicating they were dating.

2014 - November 8 - Matty Healy wears a 1989 T-Shirt, Taylor likes a Tumblr post about it.

2014 - November 17 - FOUR comes out with Change Your Ticket including the 1975-esq guitar. In the Four Hangout Harry says "well done Tyler" (32:25) and Niall adds "your Boyfriends back", Liam adds "Your gonna get in trouble" Tyler is Taylor's name I n the Man video, the 1D band had rhyming or celebrity code names for themselves that they used in interviews (Harry = Susan Boyle, Zayn = Wayne)

2014 - November 19 - Harry, Taylor & Selena go to a 1975 concert together. This is often cited as the Maylor starting point, Harry was there and called her boyfriend by Niall 2 days before. Taylor posts a video of her, Selena and Harry is briefly seen. Video of Taylor and MH backstage.

2014 - November 28 - unverified rumour that Taylor was seen in an SUV at Chattanooga near the 1975 concert. She was in London 30th

2014 - December 2 - Harry and Taylor at Victoria's Secret After party and leave together in London. First time Style performed.

2014 - December 4 - Taylor at a 1975 concert in NYC, last till 2023. 1D in London, appeared on Graham Norton. Rumours Taylor dating Matty. he tweets they got his name wrong.

2014 - December 6 - Taylor has laryngitis at Jingle Bell Ball. Matty Healy does this on stage in Boston, crying and yelling at the audience:

8 December - Blind "The B- list celebrity offspring of two of the worst celebrity parents ever has been hooking up the past few weeks with the lead singer of the band that Taylor Swift loves. Apparently they sent Taylor a pic of themselves naked in bed together." (Ali Lohan (Dina and Michael)/Matty Healy “The 1975″)

2014 - December 9, after Twitter ran with the meltdown, coupled with Matty being linked to Taylor who the band knew to be with Harry. They go on more Four promo. One Direction was not getting on, Harry had broached the topic of the Hiatus a few weeks earlier. They appear on RTL in the Netherlands. Liam seems drunk and makes a beard joke at Harry.

24 December - Tabloid media about Ali Lohan/MH

And that's the end of the 2014, interaction, between Matty appearing in the 1989 t-shirt and the meltdown was 1 month, and Harry and Taylor were seen together in that time. Taylor did go to one 1975 concert without Harry, 2 days before Matty melted down.

13 December Taylor tweets asking the media to stop accusing her of dating her friends (kk & MH)

In this time Matty was also smoking heroin, from the New Yorker in May 2023:

In 2014, amid the early rush of fame and steady touring, Healy began smoking heroin, the only substance he found that could pull him down from the stratosphere. It was a secret, for a while; then the band staged an intervention. Healy resisted: he was the star, and the rest of them would have to get on board.

2015, November - Matty said to the Guardian:

On 6 December, onstage in Boston. “There was girl stuff,” he says. “There was family stuff. There was financial stuff. There was drug stuff. I remember hearing the crowd and having an identity crisis. I thought: ‘If you want to see a show, I’ll give you a fucking show. If you’ve come to see the jester drink himself into a slumber, I’ll give it to you.’ I felt like I’d become an idea as opposed to being a person.” At one point, a fan shouted, “I love you, Matty!” He’s ashamed of his response. “What did I say to the poor fucking girl? ‘You don’t have the right to love me. You don’t know me. I love you but you don’t get to love me.’ Jesus. Can you imagine your favourite band shouting that at you? What a dickhead. What a horrible thing to say to a kid who fucking does love me.”

2015

2015 - January - Matty also does this interview where he says it was all fake that he dated Taylor and there is noone in the world he knows less than Harry Styles

2015 - February 26 - Taylor pictured hugging Nick Grimshaw, Harry’s BFF, next to Matty Healy at the 2015 Brit awards after party. Harry was in Australia, he and Taylor had broken Up and this is the night she met and seemed to immediately start dating Calvin Harris’s until June 2016

2015 - April - Matty Healy and sources close gives a lot of interviews saying he is angry about Change Your Ticket and that One Direction stole the 1975's sound.

19 July 2015 - Matty Healy dates Halsey after she goes to a 1975 concert who shares the above instagram photo

2015- Matty starts dating model Gabriella Brooks, who he dates until 20 February 2019

Love Me

2015 - October - 1975 Love Me came out which is a rather direct Harry diss:

the lyrics reference Blank Space "Rumors Fly": "You've been reading about yourself on a plane".

"caught up in fashion, Karcrashian panache" a style reference and a diss to Kendall

music video where Matty makes out with the cardboard cutout of a 17 year old Harry Styles.

on stage he copies Harry's dancing in this song.

In the BTS Matty says "I just wanted to make a video that was about some kind of sexually confused rockstar type that who buys into his own nonsense really"

he also wore Chelsea looking boots and pointed them out in the BTS

Matty said he got permission from the celebrities, but also added that he did not plan to make out with Harry's. Meaning Harry did not give permission for how his cut out was used.

2016

2016, March to Q Magazine, (and widely reported) Matty said:

“I feel like I’m not very good at relationships,” he’d said, and I wondered why. Healy explained the jumble of reasons – insecurity, self-obsession, a fear of misrepresentation. Was it also, I asked, a fear of losing himself? He nodded. “Absolutely. And the reason I mention that is because if I had [properly] gone out with Taylor Swift the first thing I would’ve [thought was] ‘Fucking hell I am NOT being Taylor Swift’s boyfriend.’ You know, FUCK. THAT.” Then he had added an afterthought: “That’s also a man thing, a de-masculinating, emasculating thing.”

In 2016 Matty was dating Gabby and they posted to instagram a lot, like this photo of them at Coachella together in 2016. They seem happy and committed, they dated for another 3 years. He toured the whole year, (dates) South East Asia January, UK/Europe March - April. Coachella 24 April (they were in Canada on the 29th) then US & Canada until July. Back to SE Asia & UK in August, South America in September, US again in October with shows every other night.

12 November 2016 - to the Guardian Matty again mocks Haylor, with a reference to Hobama, also confirming they didn't even kiss:

"Did he have any relationship with her, I ask in my best Ken Starr voice. “No.” Sex? “No.” Did you kiss? “No.” So why the huge hoo-ha? “She came to a show and we hung out. We fancied each other, but then we couldn’t have it go any further, because it would be like going out with Barack Obama.” He says there was nothing misogynistic about his comments, he was simply being honest: he didn’t like the prospect of two giant egos clashing and him coming off second best."

2017

They continued touring constantly, (dates) Uk/europe January, February. South America March, April. US/Canada April - July.

2017 - November - Matty went to Rehab, they didn't tour till 2019. Matty was still dating Gabby.

I'm skipping ahead a few years, Matty brings Taylor and Harry up alot, like in random interviews with Zane Lowe, Nick Grimshaw etc. But the vibe is often separating him from success. I wonder if he is also reminding others he knows them.

12 April Harry maybe shades Matty in his Rolling Stone Interview:

 I had a really nice upbringing. I feel very lucky. I had a great family and always felt loved. There’s nothing worse than an inauthentic tortured person. ‘They took my allowance away, so I did heroin.’ It’s like – that’s not how it works. I don’t even remember what the question was.”

In May Taylor and Joe went public, dated till 2023.

September- Harry posted that he liked it when the 1975 covered What Makes you Beautiful. Matty responds saying "you. are. peng"

2019

2019 - February 19 Matty breaks up with Gabriella Brooks, who he dated since 2015.

3 January - MH asks to produce Harry's next album… via twitter…. and says Harry has blocked him.

4 October - Matty Healy interview where he says he wants to produce Taylors record (said about Harry earlier the year) and went on to say 'that taylor swift song about supporting gay people, when it came out we already knew that."

2020

2020, January 20 - Matty starts dating FKA Twigs, they dated until 2022

2020, February Taylor, Joe and Matty are at the NME Awards:

Healy said: “I went over to her. I was like, ‘Taylor, we need to make the record.’ No, I didn’t. She said hello to every single person. Obviously it’s Taylor Swift so everyone was saying hello. “She was just stood behind me. I mean, I haven’t seen Taylor in years so it was actually a really nice room. But it, unfortunately, wasn’t the time for me to pitch my post-rock Joni Mitchell project to [her].”

2022

2022, June 7 - Matty breaks up with FKA Twigs who he dated since 2020

Collaboration with Jack Antonoff

2022 - 5 January - 14 February - he works with Jack Antonoff. The band did not work with Jack before 5 January 2022. On 5 January they were in Real World Studios (i.e. not Electric Lady with Jack) and the record was complete by 14 February 2022. It is an album made to be played live and Jack did not write lyrics, under 6 weeks is about right. There are rumours of a collab which Matty both says it is fake news he worked on Midnights and then that he did but it wasn't used. Taylor never acknowledged.

2022 - 27 March DM Story Jack had an argument with FKA Twigs who was dating Matty after the Oscars.

2022 - midnights comes out, no 1975 collab.

2022, December - Matty starts dating model Charlotte Bliar D'Alessio. they had been dating 'for weeks' and date until the end of March.

2023

2023 - 12 January - Taylor performs anti-hero and The City at 1975 concert, multiple rumors Harry was also there: x, x, x

2023 - 15 January - MH invites HS to perform, H declines. MH makes inappropriate comments accusing Harry of Queerbaiting.

2023 - 11 February blind item:

2023 - March - Reps for Matty Healy's girlfriend Meredith says

“She did not see this coming at all. All the time Matty was in the studio with Taylor, she thought nothing of it. He’d spend the day in the studio and then come home to her. “Things were going well until around March 29 then, out of the blue, he stopped replying to messages and calls. “He just ghosted her and that was it. Then, four weeks later, he went public with Taylor.

2023 - March/April/May/June - Taylor touring the US. The 1975 touring Latin America in March, Asia and Australia in April and May, Europe in June. The only times they would have seen each other are the handful of times they were photographed.

2023 - 14 March - MH spotted with Dasha, said he was bad in bed and TS thing ended.

2023 - 10 April - Taylor and Joe's separation press release. MH delete socials said:

"everything happens in eras. The 1975 is a very eras band. The era of me being a f***ing a***hole is coming to an end. […] I can’t perform off the stage any more.”

2023 April 14 - MH cries on stage in I always wanna die, and puts his head in his hands during Love it if we make it in Sydney. Saying “You changed all the words on my set list to rude words,” he says, pointing off-stage, before admitting the culprit is “trying to cheer me up because I’ve been going through a bit”. Covered in news

2023 April 24 - MH introduces 'She's American' in Tokyo with: "When I picture it, there's like three places I picture people listening to it, there's Manchester, Pennsylvania, that’s a whole other thing don’t worry about that and Tokyo” 1975 was formed in Manchester. Matty and Harry are from nearby Wilmslow or Cheshire respectively.

2023 - May 3 - TS & MH mouth "this is about you, you know who you are. I love you" on stage. Before cardigan, a song Taylor wrote for Harry referencing Falling.

2023 5 May - MH at Eras tour, Sparks Fly and Teardrops on my guitar. He joined Phoebe Bridges on stage.

2023 6 May - OOTW/Fifteen. MH attends again

2023 11 May - MH and Taylor hold hands in NY

2023 12 May - Gold Rush & CBBH, Philli. MH on stage at Eras in skeleton costume. MH and Taylor at group dinner hold hands.

2023 13 May - TS This Love, no intro/Forever and Always (Philli) MH attends eras and seen with Scott Swift.

2023 15 May - Taylor leaving Electric Lady with MH

2023 16 and 18 May - Matty carries a bag to and from Taylor’s NY apartment, she’s seen at electric lady earlier in the day.

May - blinds about MH saying something shocking about Beyonce, shocking porn habits after podcast, hooking up with underaged girls, calling Andrea names, abuse of violent porn stars he watched. (referring to these comments in Adam Friedland podcast - DM link.) double down on racist comments because T doesn't care.

2023 24 May - People reports Taylor kissed MH at Zero bond, no photos of them arriving, no photos allowed in club. Last time reported to be seen together. 50 days since his ex said they were good.

2023 27 May - during the Radio 1 Big Weekend at Glasglow, a broadcast event, Matty Healy acted unusually and said "Try romanticising your life for a job, see how you like it". This section is cut from the BBC's official video of About You. Harry was also in Scotland in Edinburgh. Matty opened the show (wearing a lab coat he took off) with an apparent acknowledgement that the relationship wasn't sincere:

“Is it all a bit? Is it sincere? Will he ever address it?” he asked. “All of these questions and more will be ignored in the next hour. Ladies and gentleman, this is The 1975.”

2023 June 5 - MH break up reported by TMZ later confirmed no longer speaking. People:

"She had fun with him, but it was always casual," a source confirmed to PEOPLE on Monday. "They are no longer romantically involved." "They were never boyfriend-girlfriend or exclusive and were always just having fun," another insider tells PEOPLE. "There is no drama, and who knows what could happen again. It was a good time and ran its course."

2023 August 16 - MH back with the girl he dumped in March for …. That.

2023 September - Matty starts dating Gabby who he is still with.

I have no idea what happened in 2023, but I think the blind about him hating H is correct.

2024 February 15 - MH said on stage “Do not come for me. Trust me. You know who I’m talking to. Honestly, you know who you are. I’m as mental as I seem. I have the receipts. Don’t f**k with me. Trust me.”

2024 6 June to us weekly

“He loves the attention it’s brought to him, [but] he also thinks it’s hilarious because at no time [were they] ever serious,” the friend claims. Healy’s pal adds that the musician was “completely blindsided” by TTPD’s “lyrical content,” especially Swift’s allusions to her and a love interest discussing marriage and children. “For her to be saying things about baby carriages … and living together — he says it had never even come up,” the friend says.

[maybeyouaredreaming]

Do you ever shut the fuck up?

Matty's on one and he's doing your head in with his childish antics. 3062 words. matty x fem reader Warnings - sliiight shame kink/power play, minor substance use, cunnilingus, unprotected sex, romantic choking?? passionate hate fucking, mostly a lot of torturous grinding like teenagers I have ten years' worth of Matty thoughts in my head. Please be kind this is my first fic! My friend made me publish this and I ended up accidentally deleting my 12-year-old blog trying to make a sub-blog so I hope it's worth it, that thing was my entire identity. Feel free to leave me your thoughts xx

He’d been on one since the Brits. Riled up from the backlash with the podcast, the stress of leaving the house in public after all the bashing from the press, and then having to be in the same room as the very people that spend their whole careers criticising him, it’s all compiled to Matty pacing around your house for days on end. But Yungblud’s newest show was it for him. He won’t sit down, he won’t talk about anything else. And it was starting to drive you mental.

“Who the fuck does he think he fuckin’ is? It’s not enough he fucks my old misses and steals my entire persona and aesthetic, covers my fuckin’ song and then smears me on the fuckin’ internet for nowt, now he’s gone and stolen my fuckin’ stage show?”

You breathe deep. Let it go. Let him get it off his chest.

“Yeah, babe. He’s so annoying.” You placate him monotonously, not taking your eyes off your phone. Scrolling meaninglessly through your Instagram feed.

“What a fuckin’ loser he is.” He huffs and leaves the room.

You relish the moment of silence however fleeting it is before he’s back in the room holding his stash box, and rolling another giant spliff in his hands as he sits right beside you on the couch when he starts again.

“I just don’t believe it, babe, honestly who the fuck does he think he is?”

You watch as he licks the edge of the rollie paper to enclose it and twists the top in his nimble fingers, your phone now discarded on the coffee table forgotten. Watching almost in slow motion as he drags his tongue across the paper. The action alone causing a light flush to heat the back of your neck, picturing the last time that tongue was pressed against your very core.

He takes you out of your reverie by lighting the spliff and handing it to you, an unspoken habit of his that you get first drag. Matty envelops himself around you on the couch, taking up your personal space and getting as close as possible. Usually an action that you enjoy, but he’s so irritating, so grating, at the moment that your skin crawls at the closeness. You breathe deep, toking the weed into your lungs, inhaling most of it and hand him back the spliff; which he takes deep into his own lungs so close to your ear you hear the draw he makes. Spurred on by his perception of your silence to mean you’re listening intently to everything he has to say, every thought racing around his head, he continues ranting. But you’re not paying attention. Instead, the growing irritation of him being so caught up on Yungblud, Halsey, and the press, whatever else the fuck he’s ranting about that you’re not following along with because he. Just. Won’t. Stop.

Pushing your anger down more, you snatch the spliff out of his hands and claim the rest as your own while he gets his phone out inspired by both his high and his anger and opens his Instagram. You watch off to the side while he goes on a rant on his Instagram stories, impersonating Dom’s accent. You watch his exaggerated expressions, his lips moving in a way they don’t usually, and the horrendous but accurate impression of Yungblud’s ridiculous accent. While otherwise entertaining, the pettiness and ridiculousness is suddenly almost rather ugly to you. Annoying in the very least. It’s a side of him you’ve seen before many a time, sardonicism being a language and humour you both share, but it has never put you off quite like this.

The more he speaks the more you want to scream at him.

You draw yourself from his side and stand up from the couch, deciding a cup of tea is all you need. Spliff still in hand, you reach into your cupboard and pull out your favourite tea mug, the kind almost the size of a soup bowl that was perfect for rainy days and shitty moods, and turn the kettle on. Between the final drags of the spliff, you butt the smouldering empty roach out in the filling ashtray on the counter and pull out a bag of lavender destressing tea from the pantry and place it in your mug. You can hear him still ranting in the loungeroom, saying something about “the underrated youth, fucking, generation” and even in the muffled distance it adds to the annoyance.

You take a deep breath and turn and face the kettle now hissing at boiling point from its dock. The throbbing in your skull grows louder as you focus on pouring the boiling water into your mug when you hear him shuffle into the kitchen behind you, feet dragging on the floor like a petulant child. Another deep breath and you take your first scalding hot sip, too annoyed to wait the minute for it to cool down as you usually do. If the weed isn’t calming you down, this tea is your last hope. He just stands there, up against the kitchen sink looking at you, clearly expecting you to initiate conversation so when it doesn’t come he speaks again because he can never let the silence linger. Can never let there be a moment of silence in his own mind. You’re never allowed a single moment of fucking peace.

“Have you seen it, babe? Watch this git-“ you cut him off, slamming the full mug on the bench and scalding your hand, but you’re too livid to notice and turn around to face him seething and ignoring the searing pain of your now-burning flesh.

“Do you ever shut the FUCK up? You’re so fucking obnoxious, Matthew!” Face flushed and eyes wide, your breathing deepens until your chest is heaving with the rage you’re feeling, the audible breaths filling the room. Unable to hold your ire back from the unwitting man in front of you.

He’s never seen you this angry before and for a moment he shrinks into himself, made several sizes smaller from the accusation and his own face flushing, before he steps up to you, toe-to-toe, face closer and eyes ablaze in mutual anger.

Finally silence. You’re practically nose-to-nose staring each other down intensely, looking for something in each other's eyes and finding only fire.

Until he snatches you by the neck pulling your face forcefully into his own. You kiss each other with such burning passion you become a mess of tangling limbs, clutching at his hair and pulling harshly, trying to get closer to him. He pushes you up against the counter, never removing his mouth from yours, hips grinding forcefully into yours allowing you to feel just how your intensity has him riled up as well. A growing heat between you as you gasp for the air he allows you to steal between tongues lashing. He wants to taste your anger, steal the breath from your lungs, feel you wreathing beneath him. You move together, two comets ablaze crashing into each other. His hands roam your body under your rising shirt, never landing in the same place while still grinding his body into yours impossibly close. He kisses down your neck open mouth eliciting a sinful groan to slip from your lips from the combination of his mouth, his hands, his body. Him.

You feel your control of the moment slipping further away. The control you need to satiate your anger truly. So you take it back bringing his mouth back to yours and push against him off the counter and steer your entwined bodies to the lounge. He stops you in the doorway to the loungeroom and pushes you up against the cool cement wall and takes back the control he briefly relinquished. Continuing his vicious attack to your neck, your collarbone, below your ear. Unrelenting lips, teeth, tongue, claiming your skin and setting you on fire further. Moan's slip from both of your mouths, his shuddering breaths against your skin, hot and wet.

You break your shared silence, between struggling for air and giving over to the sexual deviant he never fails to bring out of you. Tired of always letting him guide the moments you share, you flip your positions so he’s against the wall and clutch his jaw, bringing him to look you directly in the eyes again and relinquish his claim from your body, your other hand pushing him further into the wall. He doesn’t fight the position from the shock of the unexpected change of momentum. He’s never seen this side of you before. Dominant. Domineering. Taking possession of him.

“So, you can shut up.” You sneer, red and swollen lips curling in minor disgust. He groans at your tone and the position of helplessness he’s in, entirely enraptured by your fierceness. A shame kink he’s never expected to get off on emerging in the back of his mind. He wants to give in to you but his stubbornness tries to win him over again and he grabs your wrist holding your hand in place.

“You’ll have to make me.” He grunts back.

And that’s all it takes for you to pull him back into you and stumble the rest of the way to the couch, lips attached with fervour and fire. You draw away briefly, “Shirt and pants off. Now.” You demand. He complies, now free of all but his boxers he stands in front of you, reaching for you again but you step away and push him down to the couch with just enough force he doesn’t fight. You stand above him as he lies on the couch, taken aback for a second again, his own chest heaving, breath heavy and eyes hooded from lust before he drags you on top of him. Hands clutching your own shirt and tearing it off your body, buttons flying. You give him this, but only this, wanting to rid your hot flesh of the material clinging to your skin. It’s not what you want touching you. Not what you need touching you right now.

Your pants and now decimated shirt join his clothes on the floor. You join mouths again, lips and teeth resume clashing in a heated awkwardness you both ignore in your shared desperation. Hands roaming each other more, grinding like sexually repressed teenagers, edging but never quite relenting to ecstasy when his hands roam to your hips and clutch you against him, guiding your movements and force. Each clothed stroke brings a pant from his mouth you draw into your own mouth. He kisses down your neck again, his favourite spot. You take your newfound freedom to give him your next demand.

“If you really want to use that mouth as much as you insist, at least put it to good use.”

You take your body off his, him groaning from the movement and sudden disappearance of pressure where he wanted it most, and you lay back against the couch cushions expectant and waiting. It doesn’t take him long to clue onto what you’re asking and in a lithe move he shifts position and leans over your body, attaching his lips to your chest, your stomach, drifting lower and lower while drawing his hands up your legs enticingly. Inching closer and closer, drawing goosebumps over your skin. The feeling he brings you, even in your bad mood, is elating and you feel yourself slowly give over to his hands, his lips, and his gentle and worshipping touch. The exact opposite of what you want right now.

Between sighs and gentle brushes of his hair, your newfound dominant side kicks in again and you’re pulling the hair at the nape of his neck again. “Touch me properly, Healy.”

His breath hitches where he’s working on worshipping your stomach, every inch of your torso kissed and nuzzled by his face, taking in the scent of your skin when he finally runs his palm over your core. Feeling the sticky wetness pooling in your underwear already. Something primal snaps within him as he tears the remaining clothing from your body and attaches his lips to where you need him most. All lips, and tongue, and nose, and gentle fingers working themselves to satisfy you, he palms your now free breasts with his other hand. He eats you out like a man starved, barely coming up for air. Eventually adding a long and callused finger to your slick cunt, coaxing pants out of you and a slowly arching back.

You stroke his curls as he works, cajoling him. “I love it when you’re quiet. Such a. Good. Man when you’re not talking shit.” Your panting turns to moans as he circles your clit with his tongue, taking it in turns to suck, to lick, to bite. Equal parts humiliation and encouragement spur him on as he adds another finger to your soaking core, gentle spasms begin to surface from your well-attended clit. Your stomach tenses as his tongue and fingers work in unison to build you to a crescendo. The hand tending faithfully to your chest slowly moves down your torso back to its place at your hip, securing you in place firmly. Spurred on by the growing sensation in your belly, you clasp your legs around his head and begin moving your hips in response, riding his face from below. Your right leg hooked around his strong back, muscles rippling under your calf from the tensing of his movements, heel digging in, toes curling. Encouraging him further. He grows in pace and determination.

He will bring you to the edge. He will throw you off that cliff of ecstasy and then plunder your bones for his own sweet release. He adds a third finger, tormenting your g spot he drags from your body every shuttering ounce of orgasm that’s ever been drawn from you by anyone ever before. Earth-shattering raptures of bliss take over your body and mind, releasing from your consciousness the anger you felt for the very man that brought you to your current state. He laps your divine juices in his mouth, not wasting a drop of his reward for good behaviour. He kisses his way back up your overstimulated body still responding from his work, pulsing, undulating, and so very o-drunk, he takes advantage of your blissed-out state to reassert his own control. He kisses you deeply and you taste yourself on his lips. You thank him wordlessly, forgiving him momentarily.

“Am I forgiven, baby? Did I do well?” He asks into your mouth, grinding into your oversensitive core to remind you that work is yet to be done to bring him his own deserved release. You nod, mewling in response. You bring a hand to his cheek and stroke it as he kisses your neck again. “So good to me, Matty. So attentive.” He groans again, your words stroking his need to be appreciated, to be validated.

With your senses slowly coming back to you through shared kisses and soft touches, you trace your own way down his body and free his rock-solid cock from its cotton prison. The intensity of your tryst has bought him close to the edge multiple times without you having to touch him where he needs you to most, the desire to satisfy and appease you first is enough motivation to both fulfil and distract him from his own burning urges. Your feather-light touch to his engorged penis sends a whole body shudder through him in his position above you. If you continued to touch him so sinfully he’d come undone in your hand.

Gasping he takes your hand in his shaking grip, “Babe, if you keep touching me while looking like that I’ll cum right here. I need to be IN you.” And who are you to deny a man on the edge his only wish? You take a moment to lightly stroke his penis against your still-soaking entrance and make eye contact with him hooded eyes to hooded eyes, both of you with blown-out pupils from shared euphoria.

You both sigh as he enters you, taking a moment once he’s bottomed out, the base of his shaft against your labia. Hip to hip. With one hand, he grasps your throat tenderly, your hand holding his wrist to encourage his movement. Eyes still locked, nose to nose, he starts moving his hips encouraging your own slow movements with his other hand back in place on your hips. Breathing through the other's mouths, lips barely touching in anticipation, sharing moans and mewls and groans, he picks up pace forming a steady rhythm. The pressure and force building with hips bumping off the others, pants and moans filling the air, each other’s sweat coating your bodies. Neither of you can tell where he begins and you end. Joined as one, you wrap your legs around his body to keep him close, your free hand drawing blood down his back trying to grasp for something, anything. The rapture he’s causing your body is intense again, places he’s never reached before in his many explorations of your body have been tormented and punished. He elicits a scream from your chest, his name falling from your lips like a curse, like a song. Toes curling again, you pant, you cry out. “Yes, Matty. Yes! YES! UGH!”

And that’s enough for him to let go with a grunt and pant. Sapping him of all energy, you feel his warm sperm fill you up as he collapses across your body, still inside you, pulsing. He draws his arms around your body in a tender embrace and leaves a soft kiss on your still-heaving chest. You both lay like that for a moment, just breathing. You playing softly with his hair and him drawing circles on your cooling skin.

He finds the strength to push himself up from you and remove himself from your vagina and then laying back in your arms and kissing his way back up to your lips.

“Where the fuck did that come from?” He asks in disbelief. Shock crosses his face when he comes to. And you both start laughing as the intensity of what just passed you both sets in.

“Sometimes you just need to be kept quiet.” You say laughing and he pinches your nipple in response laughing with you.

[tongjingnian2point0]

Wow! That video was amazing! I am not familiar with Halsey, is this a mix of two songs? How did you do it? How was the collaboration process? Would you tell how this project came to be? It's do perfect how the lyrics line up with the frames!

Hi there! Thanks for your questions🥰 Glad you come asking! As soon as I saw your question, I know I'm gonna give a very long answer whether you want it or not ;)))) So here is my answer & I hope you like it.

To answer your question, first, yes they are remix of two different songs. One called Drive, and the other is Colors. I didn't do the remix, as I wrote in the details on YouTube. I had the idea to do it myself tho, because these two songs are very similar, and I was thinking why not mix them together? And when I searched it, I found one already exist. (& regretfully, it's not a collaboration (but I'd love to do collaboration works if I get the chance :) I wouldn't say it's how I'll remix it, but I love this verson too, and I can see the images poping into my head the second I heard it, so I went with it.

But if you're wondering about my process about the whole project (except the music of course), I never have a complicated process, was just following my structure step by step after thinking repeatedly and certain I wanted to do it that way.

This project didn't come out of blue. Actually I've thought about it for maybe a year or two before I get started.

The inspiration come straight from Halsey's Drive, and that whole album gives me a vibe of pure blue. I don't have synaesthesia, but I can always 'see' a lot of editing of my otp when I listen to musics.

To me, the core of SamnDean is the never ending road trip, exhaustion and everlasting love burning under the sun, especially in the early seasons. The color blue represents the feeling in my mind, and deep blue also gives me the vibe of 'haunting', just like wincest. Although they were apart when Sam was in Stanford, the memories were still haunting them from thousand miles away. And even when they're together, they're still haunted by their thoughts and feelings, just like when they were kids.

So Drive and the scenes of SamnDean came to me naturally when I heard the lyrics, especially when it came to the mutual pining and angst. And the pride mentioned in Drive is so canonned, SamnDean both have their pride, and from my understanding, that's part of the reason why they always end up hurting each other and their feelings.

Originally, I tried with two different songs, because they're both so related to wincest.

But Ride is more about 'I', and Drive is more about 'Us' like what I see in wincest. They are an indivisible whole, 'conjoined-twin' like they mentioned.

Besides, because I decided the color that represent that period is blue, I went to listen Colors again to find more inspiration, and that's when I found the melodies of these two songs are similar and wanted to do a remix (and you know what was going on with the bgm later).

Then, about the scenes and storyboard, like I said, I contemplated it for a long time and thought about it repeatedly, that I believe it's already refined in my head. I cannot give a exact process of how these ideas getting together, because it's been too long, and I don't remember where I started or how they mixed together. But what makes me wanted to do this is the line 'would it really kill you if we kissed?'

I'm not sure you've known me before, but I've tried to just paint one illustration with this line echo in my head, since I know it'll be so troublesome to start a goddamn video with just a blank canvas. But it didn't work, I still have this song in my head, and the non-exist storyboard was yelling at me, telling me to finish it.

So when I had a large block of free time, I started to decide which shots in my mind were suitable for the video and drew them into storyboards, with the change of music (from Drive to Drive and Colors).

Also, the change of lyrics gave me a new perspective. To me, the first line in Colors 'Your little brother never tells you but he loves you so' is more about Sam's POV, but from 'everything is blue', I see Dean. And re-read the whole lyrics, instead of making an ordinary one, I decided it'll have the different pov from Sam & Dean (I hope some of you realized it and know what I'm talking about here).

There still were changes from the draft to the final painting, but comparing to how many things I'll change when it comes to illustrations, it's nothing. It's more likely that I thought about it so often that there wasn't a lot to change when I finally started drawing.

About lyrics tho... I need to confess that I change some of it to make it more fitting. Also, I heard some wrong because I never read lyrics (oops)... so I didn't realize that I interpreted some wrong, until I was editing the video and searched it😅 But why not changing it? It sounds so similar with what I thought it was (like the way Halsey read 'you liked me' just like 'you are light to me'... I also wanted to mention the 'your laugh echos down the highway' one, but I found there are two different version so)

So yes, about some part of the lyrics fitting too well, blame my wild imagination 😉 xx

Anyway, I hope this answered your questions! Thanks for asking again, and if you wanna ask about something else you're more than welcomed to come back here! Hope you have a good day :)

the animation

[unboundprompts]

Halsey Prompts

-> writing prompts from Halsey songs. feel free to edit as you see fit.

"We're not lovers, we're just strangers with the same damn hunger to be touched, to be loved, to feel anything at all." - Strangers

"If I can make you love me, maybe you can make me love me." - I Hate Everybody

"I don't need anyone. I don't need anyone. I just need everyone and then some." - Clementine

"And I promised myself I wouldn't let you complete me." - Is There Somewhere

"All I can taste is the blood in my mouth and the bitterness in goodbye dripping like honey down the back of my throat." - honey

"Art is not what I create. What I create is chaos." - Colors, stripped version

"Apart from my beating heart, it's a muscle but it's still not strong enough to carry the weight of all the choices I've made." - Ashley

"Used to think that loving meant a painful chase but you're right here now and I think you'll stay." - Finally // beautiful stranger

"He could never love somebody's daughter." - New Americana

"All we do is think about the feelings that we hide." - Drive

"I'm the violence in the pouring rain." - Hurricane

"I remember the fear in your eyes the very first time we snuck into the city pool." - Roman Holiday

"I'm not your daydream." - Girl is a Gun

"I'll kidnap all the stars and I will keep them in your eyes." - Darling

"I know the parts of myself that I hated, and I can't tell which ones are mine and which I created." - 1121

"If she's gonna go, well, then I'm going with her." - honey

"You sabotage the things you love the most." - Whispers

"It really does hurt when you love someone." - I am not a woman, I'm a god

[all-da-ladies-luv-leoo]

pjo characters as songs from my spotify playlist pt. 2:

(pt. 1)

Percy: Heroes by David Bowie

↳ we can beat them, for ever and ever; oh we can be heroes, just for one day

Annabeth: you should see me in a crown by Billie Eilish

↳ you should see me in a crown; i’m gonna run this nothing town

Grover: Brother by NEEDTOBREATHE

↳ brother let me be your fortress when the night winds are driving on; be the one to light the way, bring you home

Nico: Devil Town by Cavetown

↳ falling doesn’t feel so bad when i know you’ve fallen this way too

Leo: People Watching by Conan Gray

↳ i wanna feel all that love and emotion; be that attached to the person i’m holding

Piper: Good Luck, Babe! by Chappell Roan

↳ think i’m gonna call if off, even if you call it love; i just wanna love someone who calls me ‘baby’

Jason: Numb Little Bug by Em Beihold

↳ do you ever get a little bit tired of life, like you’re not really happy but you don’t wanna die

Hazel: If I Die Young by The Band Perry

↳ there’s a boy here in town, says he’ll love me forever; who would have thought forever could be severed by the sharp knife of a short life

Frank: Zero by Imagine Dragons

↳ let me show you what it’s like to never feel, feel like i’m good enough for anything thats real, real

Reyna: Go To War by Nothing More

↳ with every battle, we lose a little more; remember everything that we’d die for

Will: Gone, Gone, Gone by Phillip Phillips

↳ your hope dangling by a string, i’ll share in your suffering to make you well, to make you well

Thalia: Nightmare by Halsey

↳ stared in the mirror and punched it to shatters; collected the pieces and picked out a dagger

[prince-liest]

Tagged by @fanby-fckry to post a song for every letter of my URL! :D Thank you! Trawling the previous post for song recs was great fun. I started out trying to pick radiostatic-themed songs but this plan fell apart very quickly, HAH.

Puttin' on the Ritz by Taco

Rule #34 by Fish in a Bird Cage

Irresistible by Temposhark

Nothing Ever Changes by Nico Collins

Control by Halsey

Enemy by Imagine Dragons

Lotta True Crime by Penelope Scott

I've No More Fucks To Give by Thomas Benjamin Wild Esq

Ex-Wives from Six the Musical

Stayed Gone (Tech Support Version) cover by CyYu and LeeandLie (I also relly recommend their Hell's Greatest Dad cover!)

This is Love by Air Traffic Controller

Things I have learned today: I don't listen to that many songs starting with the letter E, and also, Six the Musical is going to be touring within driving distance of me...but unfortunately during a rotation when I'm not allowed to take even a single day off, haha, RIP.

[haloxsaisha]

So Good.

[Lewis Hamilton x Actress!Reader]

Based on: So Good by Halsey.

Warnings: Angst, Abu Dhabi and Monza 2021 (I'm so sorry), some fluff, few cheesy dialogues (cause I'm a dumbass), depression, insomnia, eating disorder and weight loss.

Word Count: 15.5K words (I've never written this much in my life so far, I'm so proud of myself).

A/N: My first Lewis fic, I wasn't expecting it to be done with during the Abu Dhabi race week but oh well💀 I'm personally quite happy with how this turned out! I hope y'all like it <33

Bold and italicized font: song lyrics.

Italicized font: flashbacks.

“I remember the night, I was so frustrated.”

You could only bury your hands, head filled with shock and completely blank.

You never thought this would ever happen to anybody, let alone just him. Nobody who had watched the sport did.

Everything inside you began to sink in the moment the whole mess about unlapping the cars started and as the rest of the race unfolded, you felt yourself crumbling.

Lewis staying in his car in silence, in disbelief at the parc ferme had been playing on your mind again and again.

You were supposed to be there. You had to be there for him.

You had apologized to him multiple times for not being there in a championship decider race, especially at a win that was so historically important but he dismissed your countless apologies saying that he could understand. You had been shooting for a movie in London since November, which also meant that you hadn't met each other in more than a month, work and COVID restrictions making its way in. There was one thing that you and Lewis always stood by, which was that your jobs would be given the first priority. Understandable from both sides because your works usually involve a lot of people, meaning that compromising on it was quite hard and it was also very important to both of you from an emotional perspective, although you had to admit the Formula 1 driver was reaching an equivalent position to your work in your heart.

You watched him speak in the post race interview and then the moment he shared with his father, leaning his head as he took in the encouraging words being whispered in his ear. He had always been so strong and it was something you admired about him.

You sent him a message (which you hoped would provide a bit of comfort), mentioning that what happened was unfair, he deserved that win after everything he'd been through the entire season and that night and how proud you were of him. Also adding that he could call you when he felt like doing so because he wouldn't be in the headspace to talk to people at the time.

Seven hours later, you were done with your scenes for the day at ten in the night. The first thing you did after entering the vanity was checking your phone and your message to him was still at 'delivered', which increased your worry and anxiety.

After a bit, you got the idea of dropping a message to Angela, who was somebody you were close to too. You knew the Wolffs, Miles and Daniel, you even met his parents, stepmum and his siblings too when you'd been to the Silverstone race but Angela was somebody you bonded along with very well. She was one of the sweetest persons you'd met and also took care of you like an older sister would whenever you were around.

But you'll only get a response a while later since it's probably the wee hours at Abu Dhabi right now, you thought as you sighed. The race and your work has already drained out all your energy and despite your mind being absolutely restless because of how anxious you felt, but you had to drive yourself to sleep somehow. The director wouldn't be happy seeing her lead actress with puffy eyes and barely any energy the next day.

By the time you landed on your bed, it struck midnight and your phone let out the notification sound, showing the message from Angela which said that Lewis wasn't doing great and hadn't spoken to anybody yet.

Now how were you going to be able to sleep after knowing that?

“I touch your hand for the first time, I see it on your face, then another lifetime's flashin' by.”

"You see the star there? That one's called Sirius." he tells you, pointing to a specific region in the night sky.

"I didn't peg you to be somebody who was familiar with Harry Potter references, Hamilton." you give him a surprised, yet impressed look.

"There's a lot more to me than meets the eye darling, you'll see." he tells you cockily and you playfully rolled your eyes, shaking your head.

"This might just be one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen." you said in awe, your eyes fixed at the sparkling stars laid on an endless canvas of the dark blue sky.

"Mhm yeah, it definitely is." the sweet and distracted voice of the man who'd been surrounding you and your thoughts for the past couple of months came through and you turned your head towards him, finding him looking at you.

You felt your cheeks heat and you could only let out a giggle in response, not knowing how to respond because of how flustered he made you feel.

Lewis Hamilton was definitely a lot more cheesy than one would ever assume.

"I'm sorry I couldn't plan anything fun, there's pandemic restrictions so everything around is almost shut." he apologizes and you melt at how heartful he sounds about it.

"Don't be ridiculous Lew, I've loved every moment of this date so far." you assure him with a soft smile. Star gazing with somebody you've admired for so long as a first date was something that nobody could beat.

"Well, how can I make the date better?" he asks and your eyes light up in silent laughter thinking he's joking but then you look at him, it turns out that he was actually being serious.

Dear god, what type of dates had this man been on?

"Well that's a hard one because I feel like the date has already met the standards." you pretend to think for a moment "Maybe you could let Roscoe join us?" you ask him, giving him a grin which made him fall for you even more.

"Now that's not fair." he playfully whines "This time is for us. He loves you too much, will take away all your attention from me." he said, referring to all the times the both of you spend with your mutual friends. He was right, the bulldog did take a lot of your time.

"Well I've at least gotta win over one heart right?" you said, reflecting your doubts about him considering if the thing between the both you was anything serious or not.

"Well in that case, his heart will be the second one you've won over from this house." he said and you looked at him, your eyes softening with warmth and your cheeks turning red as you move closer to him.

He feels it too, you thought as he wrapped his arm around you, making you sigh in bliss.

Nearly two years later, the morning after the catastrophic race, the first thing you saw after waking up were the words "I don't think I can do this anymore, I need some space and time away." on your phone and at that moment, you had been absolutely destroyed.

It felt like everything in you had just been dropped down and shattered without any noise, you just feel so hollow and empty on the inside.

You couldn't ridicule him for feeling devastated, anybody would understand how much yesterday meant to him and how it affected him even if they didn't know him personally.

But you believed that you were comfortable enough to be with each other through any situation, happiness or despair. You believed that he found the same comfort, solace and safety that you found in him.

But it turns out that he didn't. The both of you went all the way from a video call like a regular couple would before the race to a text like somebody that didn't really mean anything to him a later, he pushed you out.

“I bet you're happy and that's fine. But I regret just one thing, I never got to change your mind”

He'd been back on the screens for the next season. Despite all the news about him discontinuing racing, you knew he'd go back.

Racing was everything to him, it was quite literally everything he'd known. He'd spoken openly about the struggles that him and his dad faced to reach where he was in the racing industry.

He knew how to rise up from the worst moments, he always had it in him.

You were still a mess. It had been almost three months since the text which broke everything in you. But there he was, having interviews with his teammate, a happy grin on his face.

Being an F1 fan for a long time, you always kept up with whatever news was on about the grid and Lewis had quite the spotlight when it came to headlines about his professional life or personal life.

You knew that he wasn't really the person for serious relationships after a point in his career. All of his focus was on Formula 1, rightfully so, which was why one night stands and short flings were what he went for.

You knew that even before you met him, you knew it whilst being friends but you still agreed to date him despite that one thing freaking you out. He had a hold on you, such an aura around him. You were always in this bubble of happiness, positivity and peace when you were with him.

Although his past relationships made you think about a lot of 'what if-s', how could you say no to a guy who made you feel like that?

Well, this was the consequence of giving in to emotions rather than logic. Your heart had been shattered like fritted glass, while he was back to normal like the break up was nothing but a minor collateral damage.

Work was always a top priority but all those moments that the both of you shared had a lot of meaning right?

“And I'm doin' okay. In the back of my mind, all I hear is your name”

The last time you slept well was the night before the Abu Dhabi race. You were normally a light sleeper, which gave you a pretty decent amount of sleep to feel good the next day.

But ever since that night, your sleep had come down only a few hours every week. You'd just walk about the room feeling restless, scroll through your phone or laptop or the television to pass time, there were some days where you just stared at the ceiling, the thoughts in your head just rushing in with memories of Lewis and you'd end up bursting into tears, sleeping over taking you after your eyes would turn red and puffy. And after two or three hours, you'd be awake again, tossing and turning around the bed.

And it was safe to say the sight of food started making you feel sick, your face would literally scrunch at the sight of it. But you still had to eat a minimum amount of food that would help you survive a day at work. Completely cutting out on food, which you had the urge to do, would completely affect the image on you and your career, which you felt was too risky.

Everybody had noticed you spiralled down, you could feel it too but you just stopped caring about anything after a point, you just felt so empty in your head to push yourself. Acting was the only thing that had you taking steps forward in life.

Soon enough, there were articles out on the news about you, commenting on the drastic weight loss that had been noticed in you, caused by the change in your eating habits. Your fans also began to notice how your use of social media had come down drastically, since you always had the habit of interacting with them frequently and also shared random pictures and videos from your day at work, especially if it was in a place far from home.

And that made the pressure from the people close to you increase. After getting to know about your break up with Lewis, your parents and close friends urged you to talk more, to let out how you were feeling. But you always convinced them by saying that you were alright, that you understood why he needed the break up and you just went along with life, your work satisfying you at the moment.

The moment you came back home after you were done with the movie you were working on for the past couple of months, the first thing your mum did was make you sit next to her and reminded you of all the hard times you'd been through, of all the people you had in your life who still cared for you and loved you, about how there were people out there who admired your work.

And that's when it struck you, that yes, you did lose a particular feeling love in your life. But there was so much more to life that made living your life whole heartedly rather than making it more painful for you, more that you'd already been through because of your heart getting broken by a certain British man.

You took a small break from your work and the fast life around you, spending the time with your family and friends, parallelly going to therapy as well. Although the scar of that heartbreak was always going to remain, the slow paced yet quality time helped your wounds heal little by little.

And then you were back to work, feeling better than you'd been for the past couple of months. You were able to breathe freely, feeling the light weighted space in you.

But there were still certain things that reminded you of him. One day, you saw a bull dog being taken on a walk by its owner, your mind would fly to how Roscoe would lie down in between you and Lewis, snuggling in the night. The smell or sight of tea would remind you about how the both of you would keep arguing about whether tea or coffee was better, you loving coffee and him being always so British and loving tea. But nevertheless he knew how to make coffee the way you liked it and you knew the same for his tea. The sound of a piano would remind you of the times he would play it and sing his favourite songs, even teaching you the basics of how to play it sometimes. Stargazing and watching Formula 1 was something you just stopped altogether, not being able to handle the intensity of the emotions it brought in you.

If there was anything that made you feel relieved now, it was about how it didn't hurt as much as it used to and how the control he had your thoughts had come down.

"Talkin' wildly out of context, I wish things were different. But I'll never know”

What the hell just happened, you thought as you looked at the screen of the TV in the garage.

It took you everything to not break into a string of curse words but if anything, you were really worried if Lewis was okay.

The man literally had a car on top of his with the tyres nearly touching his head, dear god.

And you had no clue how he would react after coming back to the garage. He wasn't the one to tantrums but was he somebody who just stayed quiet? Did he deal with the anger he felt? Would he like having anybody around him to comfort him? Or did he prefer being alone?

You had spent a good number of days with him, an amount of time that could turn into a bunch of months if you added them up, but all the races you'd been to for the past year were always good ones. You were there when he won his seventh world championship but this was the first time you were around during a bad race, a one with a scary DNF.

He didn't know you were here for the race. Due to the COVID protocols, you had to quarantine for a few days before being able to meet Lewis and you didn't have a break or gap of that many days that often which made being at his races quite hard. So you thought that you could surprise him at the Monza GP, coming into the garage after he got into the car.

What you planned was to hide in some corner of the Mercedes garage and meet him in his driver's room after he went there, yelling a cheerful "surprise!". But you obviously couldn't do that now, considering what just happened. How you would meet him was barely on your mind now, you were scared about how he was after the crash.

"Hey, he's back in his driver's room. You can go and meet him now." Angela came and told you, a few minutes after you were restlessly tapping your feet up and down.

"Oh thank god, how is he? No injuries right?" you ask her anxiously, a shaky breath leaving your body.

"He's alright now, nothing serious has happened to him. He has some headache and pain in the neck, he'll be back to normal in a matter of some time." she assures you, giving you a comforting smile and places her around your shoulder, knowing how worried you get about him.

"Would he be alright with having me around now Ange? I think he'd want some silence for now." you said, giving her an unconvincing smile.

"Don't be ridiculous, he just had a scary race. None of his family and close friends are around now either, he'll obviously love to have you around now. You'll make his day better and he'll calm down." Angela convinces you and you walk towards his driver's room, still debating in your mind if you should step in or not.

Angela knocks the door and speaks out so that Lewis thinks it her, rushing towards the team before Lewis opens the door so that the both of you can have your space.

The sound of the room's door opening brings you out of your over thinking. "Um, hey?" you tell him in a shaky voice, eyes scanning over him to see if he was alright. Of course Angela wouldn't lie to you but for some reason, it wasn't sinking in your mind until you saw him.

His eyes widened in surprise "You're here? Wait a minute- you're actually here." he says and his reaction made your nerves calmed down a bit.

"Well, the plan was to keep a rather happy surprise." you say, giving him a weak smile "If you want to be alone for some time, I'll go back and sit with Ange, I totally understand-" he cut off your rambling by taking your hand in his and pulling you in for a hug.

"Don't be ridiculous, I'm glad you're here. C'mon in." he said, wrapping his arms around your waist and placing his forehead on your shoulder "missed you and that scent so much." he mumbles as you place your hand through his braids, running your fingers through his hair to calm him down, like he always liked it.

"I can feel your heartbeat and it's going crazy. We've been together for a year and I still scare you?" he teases you, referring to the initial days of knowing him. Timid was an understatement. Having been a huge fan of the sport and him for years before you first met him, you always shared many shy smiles and few words with him, scared that your rather talkative side which always went on rambling would annoy him.

"I don't know- that just, that was scary. I'm so worried baby, the tyre was literally so close to your head." you sighed as he sat on the couch, placing you on his lap.

"Stuff like this happens time and again in racing, you've watched it over the years. At that moment I tried to shuffle inside the car as much as possible and lowered my head down, so nothing from the car reached my head. Don't worry sweetheart, I'm totally alright." he says, rubbing circles on your waist in the hopes of calming you down.

"Ange told me you have a headache and neck pain though, don't lie to me." you mumbled, pushing away the braids to a side and placing a small kiss on his forehead. He just gives you a reassuring smile, his eyes signifying that it'll be gone soon and he places his head on your shoulder, snuggling in for comfort as you placed your hand on his back and rubbing it up and down.

Thinking of the memory from that day made you wonder only one thing. Would the both of you still be together if you were together? If he would've seeked your comfort or just push you away nevertheless.

You guess you'd never know, Monza was one DNF while what happened at Abu Dhabi was something brought in such loss and affected his perspective about his career and life.

You knew it didn't end well, there were so many things left unspoken between the two of you. It was bad, but both of you would've been so good together.