#the story has no rating currently so... this felt like the next best thing for something as minor as rinne's mouth

[zmzebra-writes]

Title: The Wrong Amagi Wedding Chapters: 3/? (start, previous) Genre: Comedy Summary: After being invited to their father's second marriage, Rinne and Hiiro find themselves having to temporarily return to the village. Not wanting their friends to be alone, the rest of Crazy:B and Alkaloid join them on their journey back, but these "city folks" might not be the only ones learning something new during this visit.

In this chapter.... The hike towards the village continues! Follow Alkakurei as they traverses the trees and rivers, meet old friends, and take their first steps into the village.

CW for vulgar jokes. Nothing cruel, just a tad dirty.

They were about half-way to the village when Rinne decided to stop for lunch. He had been pointing out edible plants for Niki to snack on, but everyone else wanted to eat a proper meal. It was around lunchtime anyways.

“On the other side of the river,” called out Rinne, “There’s a good space for us to have a picnic. Is everyone confident in their balancing abilities?”

Everyone made noises of agreement, but Aira and Mayoi looked unsure. 

“What do you mean by that, Rinne?” asked Aira.

Rinne held up two fingers. “If you don’t want to get wet, there are only two ways to cross the river to the village: balancing on an old fallen log or balancing on some high river rocks.”

Rinne gave a sly grin. “Unless you want me to test how far I can throw you, Aira-chan~...”

Aira squeaked and rapidly rejected the idea. 

“Kyahaha! Don’t worry, it’s not that bad,” reassured Rinne, “The water isn’t that deep or strong at this part of the river. If you’re nervous, you can walk on through.”

“Really?”

“Yeah! You’ll just freeze your nuts off instead!”

Aira’s face scrunched up. “...I think I’ll take the log.”

Rinne whistled and skipped ahead. “Rotting log it is!”

“Huh?? What do you mean rotting??”

Mayoi looked sick as he watched Aira chase after Rinne. “... I think I’ll just let the river take my balls.”

Tatsumi gave a look of concern. “But your balls are so lovely, Mayoi. It would be a loss for the world.”

“Tatsumi?!” shrieked Mayoi.

Tatsumi giggled. “Kidding~! Just a joke.”

“You are disgusting, Kazehaya,” said HiMERU as he pushed himself ahead of everyone.

“Aw, HiMERU, your balls are cute too~...” 

HiMERU turned around to murder Tatsumi for uttering such slander.

“Can we please stop talking about balls?!!” yelled Kohaku, thoroughly done with his seniors.

“Yeah! Don’t worry, Mayoi,” said Hiiro, aiming to be a beacon of comfort today, “You’ll still have your balls after crossing the river! It’s just cold.”

“Not helping, Hiiro!” There was no refuge for Kohaku.

“Hey are you guys done talking about your balls or are we going to cross this log?” yelled back Rinne, “Aira’s too much of a pussy to go first so Kohaku you need to get over here and hold his hand.”

“Brother, can’t I hold hands with Aira?” asked Hiiro.

“Nah, there’s only so much this old log can handle at a time, but you can go first and help them off the log.”

“On it!” Hiiro zoomed forward, crossing the log with light, deft steps. He leapt off, and started waving from the opposite bank.

“Come on, Aira! It’s perfectly safe!”

Aira still felt nervous, but Kohaku came up from behind and grabbed his hand. 

“Don’t worry, Love-han. I’ll be right behind and keep you from falling,” said Kohaku. 

Aira smiled.

“OK now chop chop, loverboys, get moving,” said Rinne, “We still have a lot more people to get through.”

Kohaku glared at Rinne, but let Aira lead him to the log bridge. Slowly, but surely, they made it to the other side where Hiiro helped them down.

Next was Niki, then HiMERU, and lastly Tatsumi, until only Rinne and Mayoi remained.

“Alright, Mayo-chan~, you’re up.”

Mayoi began to fidget. “... I really think I should just take the river.”

Rinne swooped down and lifted up Mayoi in a single, quick movement. Mayoi squeaked. 

“Come on, scaredy cat. If this ol’ log can hold up a fatass like Niki, it can hold up your flat ass. Unless you want to see if it can handle both our weights at once when I carry you across…”

Rinne held Mayoi so he was barely standing on the log before letting go. Mayoi quickly and gracefully crossed the log in one fell swoop. 

“Now that wasn’t so hard, was it?” Rinne followed behind on the log at a relaxed pace. 

Niki greeted him on the landing. “So lunchtime? You have the cooler, right?”

“Am I only a piece of meat to you, Niki?”

“Nyahaha, of course not, Rinne. You contain many different types of foods. Now open up!”

Rinne grumbled, but unzipped his bag. “A ‘please’ would be nice…”

He looked up at Kohaku. “Do you still have that messenger bag of snacks, Kohaku?”

Kohaku huffed at the obvious as the bag rested in front of him. 

“Are you an idiot, Rinne?” he said as he opened the bag, “Obviously I still have the— huh?”

Kohaku took off the bag and shook out a pile of trash. Only a few of them still contained food or drink. “Where did it… Niki!”

Niki carefully slinked out of sight. Kohaku dropped his luggage to increase his speed as he moved in for the kill. The rest of the group began setting up for lunch as Niki ran for his life.

A few minutes later, a sudden thud and shriek from Niki and Kohaku had Rinne dropping the sandwiches he was taking out of his bag and swiping his knife. Both Amagis hopped to action, running towards the sound of the shouts. 

Niki was sitting on the ground behind Kohaku who stood on the defense. In front of them stood a large beast in the shadows of the trees. Its massive flat face was only rivaled by the size of its soaring humpback. Smoke appeared to surround the beast, hiding its features as it breathed heavily. 

“Rinne, what is that thing?” asked Kohaku, unsure of whether his fists would be enough to take the monster down. 

“Stay still, Kohaku,” said Rinne as he creeped closer to the beast with a hand out to tell Hiiro to pause, “We don’t want to set it off.”

A low rumbling came from the beast as it scraped the ground with its wide hoof. 

“Easy, fella, easy,” said Rinne. He had a bet on what this mystery animal was, but he needed to take a risk to let everything end peacefully, “Don’t you recognize me?”

The beast huffed as more smoke billowed through the trees. Hiiro and Kohaku tensed up. Rinne was now only a foot away from the being. He held out a hand for it to sniff, his knife stored secretly in his back pocket. 

“I know it’s been years, but do you remember? The apple from that time.”

The beast stilled. The ever growing smoke began to thin to everyone’s relief. The beast moved into the light to press its face into Rinne’s outstretched hand.

Niki and Kohaku looked shocked at the sight of the now clearly visible strange creature. 

Hiiro’s eyes lit up in recognition and he tensed up to attack. “Volcano bison! You returned to destroy us!”

“Calm down, Hiiro,” replied Rinne as he patted Volcano Bison, “I’m friends with it. I think Volcano Bison was just curious.”

“Rinne, what the hell is that?” asked Kohaku with a slightly horrified look. The beast appeared to break several laws of existence with its large eyes and what appeared to be smoke coming from the peak on its back.

“It’s just Volcano Bison, Kohaku. It’s not that complicated.”

“It is Incredibly complicated, Rinne! Niki, back me up here.”

Kohaku turned to look at Niki who was ignoring the conversation in favor of observing the newly revealed creature. “Hmmm… I wonder how it would taste… Since it’s friends with Rinne, we probably won’t be allowed to eat it, but still…”

Kohaku’s face dropped for a moment until he recovered with a face palm. “Right. I don’t know what I expected.”

Rinne moved to the side to introduce his new friends to Volcano Bison. “That over there is Hiiro, my younger brother who I told you about. The pink shorty is Kohaku, and the guy on the ground is Niki, my wife.”

This caught Niki’s attention. “I’m not your wife, Rinne!”

“Can we not argue in front of my friends, Niki?”

Volcano Bison let out a low rumble (that Kohaku pretended he did not jump at) before appearing to bow its head. In a way. It didn’t particularly seem to have a visible neck or bendable knees which made it rather unsettling to watch.

“Any friend of my brother is a friend of mine,” said Hiiro with a smile.

“We were about to stop for lunch, if you would like to join us, Volcano Bison,” offered Rinne. He had packed a few apples for this exact possibility.

Volcano Bison smiled with its eyes and nodded.

“Follow us then!” 

Niki used Kohaku (against his will) to stand up, and together they watched the beast gallump after the two brothers. 

“Please tell me you think this is weird too, Niki,” begged Kohaku.

“Maybe a little, but this is a big world we live in Kohaku,” responded Niki before following after them.

Kohaku stared at their disappearing backs. He huffed. 

“HiMERU and Love-han wouldn’t treat me this way,” he said before walking back to the picnic site.

Thankfully for Kohaku, the rest of the group seemed correctly shocked by the beast joining them for lunch. The apple Rinne passed to it appeared to somehow be eaten in one gulp like a :3-faced toucan. Kohaku and Aira pretended they weren’t hiding behind HiMERU and Tatsumi as Volcano Bison stared directly at them. Mayoi also hid behind Tatsumi, but he didn’t try to hide it. It made for a very surreal picnic.

Later, as they were cleaning up, Rinne passed it another fruit before speaking quietly to it. “If anything happens in the village, I want you to cause a diversion and get as many of them out as fast as possible. I’ll call you if I need you.”

Volcano Bison nodded.

Rinne smiled and patted his old friend on the back. “Thanks.”

The Amagis waved goodbye as Volcano Bison disappeared back into the woods in a cloud of smoke. Kohaku, HiMERU, and Aira wondered if some of those road trips snacks had been laced with something.

The rest of the hike to the village was quiet until: “Oh be careful of the twine there,” warned Rinne as HiMERU paused his gait. On the ground was a thin piece of string tied across the path.

“Thank you for the warning, Amagi,” said HiMERU as he and the rest of the party carefully stepped over it.

“No problem,” waved off Rinne.

“What would have happened if the trap went off?” asked Aira.

“A bunch of arrows would get set off and kill MERUMERU instantly,” said Rinne as he glanced around the trees.

Aira went pale, but now was Hiiro’s time to shine: “That’s not true! That trap only lets the village know that someone is walking down the path towards us,” he explained.

Rinne booed him. “Why’d you have to ruin the joke so quickly, Hiiro? Let your little girlfriend hop around worried for a bit first.”

“But the arrow traps aren’t on this path, brother!” said Hiiro, “I don’t want to lie to Aira.”

Aira frowned, but Tatsumi patted him on the back in reassurance. “Don’t worry, Aira. If any arrows come towards you, I’ll protect you from the arrows with my life.”

“Tattsun?!” 

“HiMERU will help Kazehaya if the event occurs,” said HiMERU as he walked towards the front again.

Rinne hit HiMERU on the back. “That’s the spirit, MERUMERU. Glad to see you getting along with Tatsumi.”

HiMERU frowned as Tatsumi smiled.

Rinne looked up at a tree and smiled as his eye caught a glint of metal in the light. “Hey, Hiiro, do you want to do the honors in letting everyone know we’re here?”

Hiiro lit up as he rushed over to climb up a nearby tree and pull on a similar looking piece of string.

“Hey, Rinne?” asked Kohaku, “So what’s the difference between that trap and the one your brother is setting off?”

Rinne turned back to look at Kohaku. “Hm? The one Hiiro is setting off is the hidden village doorbell so that no one thinks a sneak attack is happening. That one MERU was going to set off is the stupid loser doorbell because only the ones not in the know or not paying attention set it off. I think Hiiro set it off once and no one let him live it down for a month.”

“I see,” replied Kohaku, thinking of his own family’s secrets.

Hiiro climbed back down the tree. “Hey guys, what are we talking about?”

Kohaku looked at Hiiro’s bright eyes and decided to spare him. “Oh we were just talking about the different traps on this path.”

“Yeah! We got a lot of them around here to do all sorts of things,” said Hiiro, “My brother is well versed in a lot of them since he set most of them off when we were kids.”

“Oh really?” said Kohaku with a cat’s grin. 

Rinne sped up his walking to race ahead. “Wow! Look at how close we are to the village. We should be hitting the village border any second—”

The more observant of the group spotted a blur racing towards them. “Rinne, look out!” called out Kohaku as he realized the attacker’s target. Rinne braced himself as he stood alone on the forest path, the rest of the group farther behind.

“I was wondering when you were going to show up,” said Rinne through gritted teeth.

The attacker dove for Rinne, starting a brief brawl as the two fought using moves Kohaku had never seen before. Kohaku and Hiiro raced towards Rinne, but they were too late, and soon Rinne was taken down by what appeared to be a large woman with short red hair in blue and tan clothing. 

“Hiiro,” she said flatly, and that was all the warning they got before she attacked once more.

This time, however, Kohaku was close enough to lend his aid. The two of them worked hard to down this strange opponent, but somehow Kohaku kept finding all his moves to kill swiftly disarmed. It was worse than fighting Madara, who had a tendency to enjoy preventing Kohaku from actually connecting any hits over fighting back. In the end, Kohaku and Hiiro found themselves both hanging upside down, one in each hand, as the woman wrangled the two teenagers at once.

The rest of the party caught up and stared in horror as they found themselves helpless against their surprise opponent. 

Aira looked at Hiiro’s serious eyes, but found himself confused by his friend’s smile.

Why was he…?

“Haha! You got me again, father!” laughed Hiiro as he swung himself in the woman’s grasp.

“FATHER?!?” yelled the rest of the party.

“You must be the friends Rinne spoke of,” the woman said, continuing to hold Kohaku and Hiiro by their ankles, “He spoke very highly of all of you.”

A distant voice called out ahead from where the woman came from. “Leader! Leader!” an out of breath voice cried out, “You are supposed to be resting!”

Rinne groaned from where he lay on the ground. “Even while sick, you are still causing trouble, old man,” he grumbled to himself.

Rinne sat up and leveled his father with a flat stare as the villager came closer to them. “Can you put down Kohaku and Hiiro, father? Kohaku’s hair is going to turn red from all his blood rushing down and you’ll confuse him for another Amagi.”

The elder Amagi let go of her opponents. Hiiro tumbled down quietly while Kohaku yelped before both landed softly, used to breaking their falls. Aira rushed forward to their sides and grabbed their wrists. He dragged them both back to stand behind Tatsumi. Kohaku glared while Hiiro smiled. His father cocked her head at the sight, but paid them little mind.

“Hey,” called out Rinne, pulling her attention back to him, “Aren’t duel greetings reserved for martial arts students?”

“You will always be my student, and there will always be more to learn. I needed to see if your skills have rusted in your absence,” she stated.

“Just admit you wanted to take a swing at me and Hiiro after all this time,” said Rinne as he glared upwards at his father.

She pointedly looked away from Rinne towards the oncoming aide. The woman huffed as she bent her head forward in deference. “Sir, I apologize for cutting your reunion short with your sons, but you must spend more time saving your strength for the wedding.”

“It is traditional for the monarch to greet guests to the village before they arrive, Ayasato,” she said.

“It is traditional with a team of bodyguards present, sir,” the aide emphasized, “We had a welcoming team prepared to meet them in your absence led by your wife to be.”

“I deemed them unnecessary. As the only main branch Amagi remaining in the village, I deemed it necessary for myself to be the one to greet these outsiders.”

Ayasato’s face remained blank to avoid showing her true feelings on the matter, but Rinne frowned at his father’s intentional dig.

“Now are we going to stand here all day or shall we return to the village?” their father asked, “We’ve prepared a big dinner for you all tonight, and we have much to explain to you about the rules during your stay here.”

Ayasato bowed. “Lead the way, sir.”

The senior Amagi began walking back towards the village. Ayasato leaned down and offered a hand to Rinne. “It’s good to have you back, sir.”

He ignored it and stood up on his own. “Keep the fake praise to yourself.”

Ayasato frowned, but nodded before she turned to the rest of the party. “Everyone, follow us and I will inform everyone of our basic rules as we walk to the village center.”

With no other path, but forward, the idols followed them deeper into the forest.

[mysterious-moonstruck-musings]

Destiny & Deliverance: Chapter 21

Destiny & Deliverance Masterlist ||| Dieter Bravo X OFC Some Smut & Language- Minors DNI New as of 9/21/2023

SUPPORT YOUR CREATORS. REBLOGGING & COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED.

Series Rating: Explicit (18+)

Series Summary: Natalia Cohen is experiencing major life changes, beginning with leaving an emotionally abusive husband. She is learning how to navigate life on her own while dealing with high functioning anxiety, depression, and mild PTSD. Everything is looking up for her. She is a highly respected consultant for a major LA firm, has her best friend, Lauren, by her side, and is on her path to healing. Everything changes when she meets a handsome and broken stranger on a work trip. He turns out to be a well-known actor, with a heart-breaking past. They quickly develop a connection that will forever alter their lives. 

Warnings: Themes dealing with mental health, emotional trauma, alcohol use, and discussions about suicide. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn type of story. Read at your own risk.

Chapter Quote: "Dieter. Don’t do this…please."

A/N: Chapter 21 is finally here! It's a beast coming in at 9k words. I have to give a massive thank you to @for-a-longlongtime for taking on the challenge of cleaning this mess up. Make sure you thank her for it! She worked some serious magic on it for me. Just a fair warning, this takes a super angsty turn. Get your cozy blanket and chocolate ready, because you might need it.

I was not prepared for how hard Dieter's absence would hit me once he had left to film in Canada. Spending time alone had never bothered me at any point in my life; but now without him, it felt like a piece of me was missing. I did my best to keep busy. When I wasn't working remotely, I continued the home improvement project at Dieter’s house or worked on various projects in my craft room. 

Aside from two incidents, I had managed to avoid the lurking paparazzi. There were a few photos that had been snapped from a distance while I was out running errands that popped up on some fan pages; it was annoying, but the best way to handle it was to take it in stride and just remind myself that people were always watching. Luckily, no one had approached me directly; the public knowledge that Dieter was currently on set in Canada probably took a lot of the heat off me.

Fortunately, I had people in my life to help me cope with Dieter's absence. I spent several evenings with Lauren, catching up on gossip as we watched movies. The shop had been keeping her busy due to an employee shortage, and she was also exploring options to expand into the vacant unit next door. While I could see how that took up a lot of her time, I couldn't shake the feeling that she was holding things back from me. But whenever I asked her about it, she would wave it off and say everything was fine, as her phone continued to beep with a steady stream of text messages.

Gabby must have noticed that I had been feeling lonely, as she made a point to extend a longstanding dinner invitation at her house. While I enjoyed spending time with her and went to see her often, it didn’t do anything to dampen my feeling of loneliness. No one could fill that void except for her brother.

Communicating with Dieter brought on a new set of frustrations that I hadn’t expected. The remote location turned out to have a lot of signal issues, so it was hard for us to connect by texts or calls as often as either of us would have liked. I could tell that he tried to stay positive, but during the times that we were able to Facetime it struck me how tired he looked and sounded. Things were slowly wearing him down.

Two weeks into filming, during one of our few facetime calls, Dieter admitted that he had been feeling a little down and wasn’t getting enough sleep. The side effects of the medication had lessened, but so far it didn’t seem to offer him any relief from the issues that he struggled with. A local provider that he was referred to suggested that he start taking antidepressants. When he told me, I noticed how distant his eyes seemed as he spoke. “It’s fine. I’ll take them”, he said after a beat, his fingers absentmindedly tugging at the label on the bright orange container with pills. “I’m just dreading more side effects.” He had been unusually quiet during our call that evening. I could see weariness sunk into the lines on his face and couldn’t help the gnawing feeling that things were not all that fine.

The last few days before I was scheduled to fly out to Alberta passed by painfully slow. It made me restless, and I couldn't focus my energy on anything but the trip. I lost count of how many times I went through my packing list. Dieter seemed to be feeling the same way, sounding giddy during the times we were able to catch up over the phone. He had made sure to arrange a car that would pick me up at the airport. So, when I finally I landed at Edmonton International after a three-hour flight, I was relieved that I didn’t have to deal with the anxiety of transportation to get to the set.

As we drove several hours to get to the filming location, I saw the landscape changing from city views to remote swatches of land. Lush forests and more than a few wild animals caught my attention. With so few people, stores, and even power lines around, it wasn’t surprising that there had been such problems with getting a cell signal.

By the time I made it to their filming location, my back was absolutely killing me. I was happy to be climbing out of the vehicle. I was in the midst of stretching when Rylee came jogging over. Her hair was now black mixed with a deep purple color, which threw me for a minute. She gave me a wave and wide smile as she approached.

“He’s gonna be so fucking happy you’re finally here,” she announced as she pulled me in for a quick hug. “Actually, I’m fucking happy you’re here because I’m tired of his whining.”

I gave her a chuckle in response.

“What do I need to do with my bags?”

“We can put them in his trailer for now. Come on, I’ll help.”

As small as the trailers looked from the outside, I wasn’t expecting much. But I had to admit, I was pleasantly surprised. It was like a mini home on wheels.

“So, is he the only one who uses this trailer?” I asked as I looked around on the inside. The bed toward the back had caught my eye, because of course that’s where my mind immediately went to. Rylee gave me a knowing smile.

“I mean, do I need to put my bags out of the way or anything? I don’t wanna take up someone else’s space.”

I tried to recover. I’m not sure she bought it. I could feel my cheeks burning.

“He’s one of the stars of the show. So, yes, he’s the only one who should be in here aside from you or I, unless invited.”

I nodded, still trying to play it cool.

“Don’t worry, I’ll knock before I come in,” she added with a wink.

“No, no, that’s…that’s not why I was asking.” I shook my head as I spoke, feeling even more embarrassed.

“Don’t play coy, I’m not dumb.” A wide teasing grin spread across her face.

“Ok, ANYWAY, what now?” I interjected, trying to change the subject. That caused her to laugh harder. Once her laughs subsided to a manageable level, she responded.

“Now we go find your man and surprise him. I haven’t told him you’re here yet. He’s filming right now. They should be wrapping for a break soon.” 

I followed Rylee down a long trail into a wooded area. We ended up near a large opening next to the river. I could see a lot of commotion up ahead where they were filming on the edge of the riverbank. We got close enough to watch, but far enough out of the way that I couldn’t be spotted. I didn’t want my sudden appearance to throw Dieter off.

They were filming a scene that included a heated exchange between several of the characters. It was amazing to watch him work. To see him turn the character on and off between takes was interesting. He could go from joking around and laughing to angry within seconds. I didn’t understand how he could do it so convincingly. On their third try, I noticed Dieter’s face shifted slightly mid-way through as one of the other male actors was speaking. It was an actual look of annoyance. He turned looking towards the director while everyone else looked confused. Someone called cut from the group behind the camera. Dieter looked back over at the other male actor, clearly frustrated.

“Can’t you just stick to the damn script? They told you to cut that shit out,” he said loudly to the other male actor.

It sounded like the guy responded with a comment about the lines feeling out of character. I couldn’t fully hear him since his back was facing our direction.

“If you have a problem with it, discuss it with the boss and the writers before we film. You're holding everyone up here.”

It looked like the guy may have flipped Dieter the bird, and I don’t think he meant it in the joking with your friends kind of way. Rylee looked at me and rolled her eyes, “That’s Tom. That guy has been a total douche. He thinks he’s more important than he actually is. He’s driving Dieter crazy with this stuff.”

“Yeah, he looks like a douche. Is Dieter always that direct with people?” I hadn’t noticed this before, but then again, I hadn’t been around him when he was working.

Rylee shook her head. “Can’t say I’ve witnessed it before, though I don’t blame him in this instance.” She hesitated for a moment. “He hasn’t been in the best mood though.”

We watched as they shot three more takes before a dinner break was announced. Everyone started to clear out of the area, except for one of the female actresses who approached Dieter. She was a petite brunette, and clearly attractive. She reached out to touch his upper arm as she spoke, obviously flirting with him. I couldn’t hear what she said, but Dieter looked at her with annoyance as he pulled his arm away and walked off. She didn’t look happy about his response, giving him a slight glare as she walked away with a huff.

I knitted my brows together over their exchange. Rylee noticed my expression.

“That’s been a whole thing. Chloe just won’t take a hint. Don’t worry, he’s been nothing but a dick to her.”

I laughed, “Well, maybe she’ll take the hint now that I’m here.”

I watched as Dieter wandered over to the edge of the riverbank, looking frustrated with his phone in hand. He seemed to be talking to himself, occasionally walking a few steps one way or the other with the device up in the air, like he was looking for a better signal. Rylee bumped her shoulder against mine.

“What are you waiting for? Go get your man before he loses his damn mind again over his phone not working.”

I chuckled before walking off in his direction, approaching him from behind. I could hear him muttering about his phone being a “piece of shit” as he tapped on the screen harder than necessary.

“What did that phone ever do to you?”

“It doesn’t fucking work half the time,” he replied curtly, his head bowed down as he continued to fiddle with the object of his frustration. A beat later, his fiddling paused as he raised his head, quickly turning toward me.

The instant his eyes locked with mine, he was moving, taking quick long strides over to me as the relief swept over his face. Before I knew it, he had wrapped his arms tightly around my waist and lifted me, spinning in a circle as he pressed his lips into mine with urgency. “Hi.” His voice croaked, somewhere between a gasp and a moan. I hugged him back around his neck as I returned the kiss with just as much enthusiasm. He lowered me to the ground, our embrace continuing with kisses between whispers of how much we had missed each other.

He pulled back, looking over my face as he reached to run his fingers through my hair. A small smile tugging at his lips.

My thumb traced the faint darkness under his eyes. I could see it even under all the makeup and dirt. My chest tightened at the thought of him not being able to sleep. I really hoped he wasn’t still having bad dreams, but I didn’t think he would tell me if he was.

We were brought back to reality when a few of the remaining crew members and Rylee started whopping and whistling at us, someone even yelling at us to get a room. We both burst out laughing but were also slightly embarrassed. I could already tell that being on the film set with Dieter was going to be an interesting experience.

He leaned into my ear, “How about we go somewhere a little more private?”

I nodded with a mischievous smile in return. We made a beeline for his trailer. Several people attempted to get his attention as he passed by, but he was having none of it. He waved them off and kept going, gently pulling me along as he held my hand.

We had barely made it into his trailer before he was kissing me and reaching for my belt buckle. I had to make him stop to shut the door properly behind him. It bounced back open twice before he finally gave it a couple of good tugs to fully latch it. He cursed at it under his breath while I laughed at him.

We undressed each other in record time before falling onto the bed in a mess of tangled limbs. Dieter settled in between my thighs as he reached down to rub between my folds. I grabbed his hand, stopping him as I shook my head.

“No, I need you now.”

He gave me a cocky grin as he moved to line himself up at my entrance. “As you wish.” He rested his forehead against mine as he entered slowly, giving me the opportunity to adjust to his size. Once he was in all the way, his movement briefly stilled, and a small whimper escaped his lips.

“I’ve missed you so fucking much, missed this, missed us.”

He kissed me deeply, his tongue tangling with mine as he started his movements again. His pace quickened, turning the sweet moment into one of raw need. Our sweaty bodies slid against each other as our movements became more frantic. We held on to each other tightly as his thrusts grew harder. We heard voices outside of the trailer, which briefly pulled our attention away from our activities. Dieter shook his head as if to dismiss it, then buried his face into my neck, muffling the noises he was making as he briefly covered my mouth with his hand to quieten the sounds still escaping my lips. I pulled his hand away and wrapped my legs around him as he resumed his quick, plunging movements. I could feel the tension building before coming undone around him. It took everything in me to stay quiet as I felt the rush of tingling electricity throughout my body. His thrusts grew more erratic as he felt me tighten around him. He soon spilled into me as he was rocked with his own orgasm. 

He collapsed beside me, trying to catch his breath. I rolled over and cuddled into his side as he wrapped his arms around me and buried his face into my hair. We sat in silence. Within minutes, his breathing started to deepen as he fell asleep. I didn’t dare move. I didn’t want to wake him.

Thirty minutes or so passed when I heard crackling over a radio from somewhere in the trailer giving a twenty-minute warning for filming to resume. The sound didn’t disturb Dieter in the slightest. He was out cold. I hated to wake him, but knew I needed to. It took several shakes, but he finally woke up grumbling as he hugged me tighter. He finally rolled out of bed, and I followed. We quickly got dressed and attempted to make ourselves presentable.

“You look like a hot fucking mess,” I said as I eyed the smeared makeup on his face. It looked more like he had smeared and streaked the dirt on his face with his fingers rather than just being naturally dirty. He looked in the mirror and sighed.

“Oh well. Shit happens,” he shrugged before pulling me in for another kiss. A ten-minute warning crackled on the radio, followed by a knock on the door. Dieter moved to open it, allowing Rylee inside. She entered, then stopped, looking us both over with a smirk on her face.

She started laughing and shaking her head as she looked at Dieter more closely. She turned to me, “I think you may be hair and makeup’s worst nightmare.”

We all shook with laughter at her remark. There was no hiding it at this point, might as well laugh about it. Once we contained ourselves, Rylee held out a small bag.

“I figured you wouldn’t make it over to eat, so I grabbed some food for you. Dieter, walk and eat please. We gotta go.” 

We thanked her as we headed out the door with sandwiches and drinks in hand. 

Rylee was right, Dieter was swarmed by hair and makeup as soon as he got back to the filming location, and they were giving him a hard time about it. I made a mental note to avoid his face and hair in the future, or at least try to.

Filming went well into the early morning hours. I spent most of my time either watching them film or with Rylee showing me around. Once they wrapped for the night, we briefly stopped in at Dieter’s trailer to grab my bags, then a car took us to the secluded resort about thirty minutes away where the cast and crew were staying. We showered to rid ourselves of the outdoors which led to our second and third rounds of sex before crashing. Dieter didn’t seem to have any trouble falling asleep that night as our naked bodies lay tangled under the fluffy down duvet.

The 7AM alarm came early when you only managed to get about four hours sleep. We spent a few minutes in bed, just enjoying each other’s company and showering each other in affection. That was soon interrupted by Reylee’s call to make sure Dieter was awake and not “dicking around” because our car would be there soon. She held nothing back. Her filter worked about as good as mine.

We had to scramble to get ready to leave but managed to make it on time. Rylee met us in the lobby with coffee and muffins, which I was thankful for. Dieter’s muffin set untouched during the ride as he looked over his script. Rylee reminded him at least three times to eat. I eventually grabbed the muffin and shoved it into his mouth, which took him off guard.

“Well, that’s one way to do it!” Rylee said as we both snorted through laughter. Dieter didn’t seem to find it as funny. He looked slightly annoyed but took it from me and ate while he continued to look over his script.

Once we arrived, he immediately went off to hair and makeup. I wandered around to find a decent cell signal so I could use my mobile hotspot to get a little bit of work done. I found a nice spot at the top of a hill where I had a view of everyone at work filming. The cell signal would come and go, and I could now understand Dieter’s earlier frustrations. It seemed the remote area we were in was in the middle of a dead zone.

During the lunch break, I sat with Rylee as Dieter spoke with the director and producer about some scenes they would be filming soon. He was in pure chaos mode, a bundle of hyped-up energy, talking a mile-a-minute about an idea he had.

“He seems to be in better spirits now that you’re here,” Rylee said to me as I watched him gesture wildly with his arms.

“He actually got some sleep last night; I think that’s helped.”

“Yeah, and got rid of some of that pent up tension too, I’m sure.”

Rylee smirked as she took a sip of her water. I raised an eyebrow as it took me a minute to realize what she was referencing. Once I caught on, I rolled my eyes at her.

“You’re incorrigible. You know that? I think your filter might be more broken than mine.”

She beamed, clearly proud of herself. She glanced down at her watch, checking the time. The break was almost over, and he was still talking while everyone else around him finished up lunch.

“I swear, if he doesn’t start eating, I’m gonna choke him. I’ll be right back.”

I watched as Rylee went over to grab a plate of food and deposited it in his hands, giving him a chastising look as he took it from her. It didn’t faze him, he held it as he continued to talk.

She came to sit back down beside me.

“Has that been an issue with him, not eating?”

“Oh yeah, he gets wrapped up in the ‘creative process’ and forgets to eat.”

“Has that always been a thing?”

“Yes and no. He seems a little worse than normal this time around. I just figured he was trying to keep himself busy, so he doesn’t think about being away from you.” 

I gave her a small smile but didn’t say anything. It bothered me that he was skipping meals because I knew how much that man loved food.

“He’s been fine otherwise though…right?”

I’m sure she could see the concern etched on my face.

“Yeah, I mean, I know he hasn’t been sleeping well, which isn’t really new. He’s been a little moody, but otherwise ok.”

I felt bad for even asking, but I had a feeling he wasn’t going to be completely honest with me if he was having a hard time.

Dieter finally ended his conversation and came over to straddle the bench seat facing me on my right side as he set his food down on the table. His left hand immediately came up to rest in my hair at the base of my neck to pull me in for a quick kiss. Rylee again reminded him to eat because he only had fifteen minutes left. He rolled his eyes and stuffed half a sandwich in his mouth with his right hand, giving her a sarcastic look. I leaned my head over onto his left shoulder while he continued to run his fingers through my hair. He carried on eating with his other hand, occasionally speaking to Rylee between bites. For the first time that morning, his chaotic energy finally seemed to ease down slightly.   

I was able to spend more time with Dieter that afternoon. He had a few breaks while they filmed scenes he wasn’t part of. We spent those breaks alone in his trailer. While a lot of that time included more intimate activities, we were perfectly content to just be in each other’s company while he went over the script or napped. Both of which he did while cuddled into my side as I ran my fingers through his curls and lightly scratched his scalp with my nails. He complained when I let him fall asleep because that meant he was losing time with me, but we both knew he needed it.

My third day went much like the previous. It was a routine we had settled into. Dieter’s overall mood seemed to have improved, and he looked more rested than he had when I first arrived. Rylee seemed happy about that since he was less grumpy and more compliant than he had been.

That evening, filming wrapped early. The cast and crew were planning to hit up a local bar to blow off some steam. Dieter wasn’t planning to go, but Rylee encouraged it. Mostly because she didn’t want to go alone. We humored her and said we would make an appearance, even though we both would have much rather been alone in our suite for the evening.

When we arrived, we found an open space at the bar. Dieter and Rylee took the two open bar stools while I opted to stand for a bit. Dieter sat facing me, with one arm leaned on the bar. I stood in between his open legs, leaning against his shoulder as his hand rested on my hip. Rylee ordered some sort of fruity mixed drink while we both asked for water. If he wasn’t going to drink, then I wasn’t either. Rylee surprisingly didn’t question it, which I appreciated.

There was a steady flow of cast and crew that came over to chat with us. They all seemed nice enough and were very welcoming toward me. Then there was Chloe…We had been there for about an hour when she made her way over to chat with Dieter. She was clearly a few drinks in as her speech was starting to slur slightly. She came up behind him, slowly snaking her arm around his shoulders while saying “hello handsome” in the best sultry voice she could muster. She did all this, even though he was sitting there with one of his arms around me. I felt him lean forward into me as he reached to remove her arm from his shoulder. I turned to meet her gaze, confused by her brazen actions. She stepped away, giving an obvious pout as she finally realized I was standing there. She tilted her head like she was trying to sort out a puzzle, then reached out her hand to shake mine.

“I’m Chole, I don’t think we’ve met. Are you like his sister or something?”

The look of shock and confusion that Rylee, Dieter, and I gave her had to be almost comical. Was she really that dumb or just being a bitch? Based on the clueless stare she was giving me; I was going with dumb.

Rylee muttered, “You have got to be fucking kidding me,” just loud enough that I could hear her over the loud background music. Dieter leaned forward, trying his hardest not to laugh.

“No, definitely not my sister. That would make all the sex we’ve had the last three days a little weird. She’s actually the love of my life and the only woman I’m currently interested in.”

He gave her a wide smile. It took everything I had in me to control the laughter that was threatening to burst out. Rylee nearly choked on her drink and made no attempts to hide her giggles.

Chloe’s eyes grew large as she took in his response. Her cheeks tinged with red. She gave a tight smile, nodding in understanding before she awkwardly turned to walk away. All three of us burst out laughing.

“I cannot believe you said that to her,” I said to Dieter through my chuckles.

“Just trying to get the point across. The girl is not good at picking up hints.” He sighed, still looking amused, but it was clear that her behavior had been bothering him for a while now. “She probably won’t remember it tomorrow anyway.”

Dieter got up to go to the bathroom, so I took his seat. Rylee and I continued to chat as she turned her back to the bar to look over the crowd, expressing her dismay over the lack of suitable options for a one-night stand. I sat facing her, leaning on the bar with my head propped on my hand, laughing at the disgusted look on her face. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Tom and a group of guys at the end of the bar. They were very obviously looking our way, their lingering eyes occasionally being a bit too blatant. Internally, I was rolling my eyes and hoping they didn’t cause any trouble. I was startled by Dieter speaking up loudly from behind me, his voice tense and words clipped.

“The fuck you looking at?”

I turned to face him; he was clearly looking in the direction of Tom’s group. I didn’t see their reaction, but Dieter seemed satisfied after a moment as I reached to grab at his shirt and pull him over to me. I was attempting to distract him to avoid any further drama.

“Don’t pay any attention to them, they’re clearly drunk.”

He couldn’t stop a huff falling from his lips as his arms slid around my waist, eyes focused on mine. “Yeah well, they don’t need to be staring at you two like that,” he muttered.

“Don’t worry about it D., I think we can handle them,” Rylee added with a serious tone.

After a short while, the group got up and left the bar area. Dieter followed them with his eyes as they retreated to the upstairs area of the establishment. Once they were gone, he visibly relaxed within a few minutes, seeming to have forgotten about the exchange. He continued to chat with some crew members sitting close to us as Rylee pulled me out to dance. I felt a little out of my element. I was typically a few drinks in before I ever took to the dance floor, but I tried to let loose a little and have fun with her. I could see Dieter still seated at the bar, keeping a close eye on us, and occasionally smiling at our antics when our eyes met.

We were a few songs in when I felt someone come up behind me and wrap their arms around my waist. I immediately stiffened because I knew it wasn’t Dieter. When I turned to push them away, I saw it was one of the guys who had been in Tom’s group earlier. This was not going to go well. I tried my hardest to get rid of him before Dieter noticed, but he absolutely would not go away and only continued to get more handsy as I continued to resist. Rylee stepped in to intervene and he pushed her away, before grabbing onto my ass. I pushed away again, more roughly this time as I moved to walk away. When I turned, Dieter was right there in front of me, his eyes blazing with anger. Rylee and I had to step in to block him as he was about to throw a punch at the guy's face.

“Hey, hey, hey. Stop. Stop it!” I yelled as I hooked my arm around his when he was mid swing. There was no doubt in my mind that he could take the guy, but a fight was the last thing he needed. Especially with how short his fuse already seemed to be lately. Rylee was pushing backwards on Dieter’s chest while he yelled obscenities at the guy, who just stood there with a smug look on his face. It clearly only enraged Dieter more, causing him to keep pushing back against us to get to the guy.

“Dieter, stop it! It’s ok, I’m ok.”

“It’s not fucking ok. He has no right to touch you like that.”

“No, he doesn’t but we can deal with it another way. Just not like this, please.”

“You can kiss your fucking job goodbye. Don’t even show up tomorrow,” Dieter yelled toward the guy who shouted a quick, “Fuck you,” back at him.

Rylee and I pushed him toward the exit. Once outside, she called for our driver to pick us up. Dieter took off without a word and headed down the street, taking long strides as he seemed oblivious to his surroundings. The set of his shoulders was tense and tight, and I noticed his hands clench into fists repeatedly as he got further away from us. I moved to follow him, but Rylee stopped me.

“Just give him a minute.” 

I bit my lip as I watched him disappear from sight. I took a few deep breaths to calm my nerves. “Does he always fly off the handle like that?” I knew the answer before I had finished asking the question. During the time we had spent together in the past several months, I had never seen him respond in that way. He had never attempted to hit anyone or verbally attack them with anger. As pissed as he was when we ran into Justin, he stayed perfectly calm through that entire exchange.

“Like that? No. But I assume it’s just because it had to do with you,” Rylee responded.

A few minutes later our car pulled up and Dieter still hadn’t returned. We instructed the driver to head in the same direction he had walked earlier, hoping that we would find him. I spotted him sitting on a bench with his head in his hands and told our driver to pull over. Once the car was parked, I got out and walked over to the bench, taking a seat next to him. When he didn’t look up, I started rubbing slow circles on his back with my hand.

“You ok?”

He shook his head from side to side before sitting up straight, inhaling deeply as he looked around at nothing. His face was tense. I couldn’t tell if it was from anger or distress. He wouldn’t look at me.

“Talk to me. What’s wrong?”

He shook his head from side to side again while trying to control his breathing. His leg started to bounce as he continued to stare, unblinking, the dissociation palpable in the air. I felt like he was fighting off a panic attack. After hesitating for a moment, I stood up and climbed onto his lap, my legs straddling his thighs. I forced him to look at me, grabbing one of his hands and holding it to my chest as his eyes locked with mine. With my free hand, I reached for the hair at the base of his neck and rubbed him gently, just like I had done after the Anna incident. Immediately his body language changed, and I felt him lean into my touch, a barely audible sigh escaping from his lips.

“Tell me what’s going on.”

He shook his head slowly, searching for words. “I just… couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. I dunno. I think I blacked out for a minute.” He looked away as another sigh broke free from him. “I don’t even know what just happened.”

I pulled him in and hugged tightly around his shoulders. He buried his face into the crook of my neck as his breathing slowed. He held onto me tightly. I could feel the occasional twitching in his right hand.

“I’m sorry, I know I could’ve handled that differently,” he said eventually, his breath warm against the curve of my shoulder. “I just kinda snapped when I saw him grab you like that.”

I pulled back to look at him, running my fingers through the side of his hair.

“You’re fine. I understand why you were upset.” I leaned in, giving him a lingering kiss on his lips, then rubbed my nose against his.

“How about we head back to the resort and forget about this mess.”

He let out a small sigh before nodding in agreement. He stood as he kept his hand pressed against the small of my back, lifting me with him before gently depositing my feet on the ground. I took his hand, leading him in the direction of where the car had parked. 

True to his word, Dieter made a few calls the next morning before we got to set. The guy, whose name turned out to be Craig, was fired. They didn’t want someone like that around, for obvious reasons.

We fell back into our routine after the incident at the bar. My remaining days with Dieter were passing by quickly, which only seemed to bring his mood down. He was spending less time preparing for filming and more time with me during his breaks. We never spoke of how much time we had left, but I could tell it was always at the forefront of his mind. It was clear in the way he would cling to me when we were alone, how he would also avoid any conversation about when I would eventually be flying home. I had given up on getting any of my remote work done during the last two days; the work mattered, but faded in importance compared to being present there with him. On top of that, the cell signal issues persisted, so I opted to take some time off for those days instead. It meant I got more time to watch Dieter in action. I was able to be near him, just off camera the entire time. He took full advantage of my presence between takes, coming over for an affectionate touch or kiss when he was able.

On the morning of my flight to LA, he woke me before either of our alarms went off. I had barely opened my eyes before I felt his hands roam over my body, his lips soft and warm as he trailed kisses down my neck from behind. Once I turned over towards him, his motions turned near frantic almost immediately as he met my lips for a deep kiss, his fingers sliding between my thighs where he found I was ready for him. Our kisses were urgent, our touches insistent. It was almost like we couldn’t get close enough. With the quick pace that he set from the beginning, neither of us lasted long. As soon as he felt me coming undone, he followed. He stayed propped above me, with his elbows on either side of my head, kissing me in between brief moments of letting his eyes dance across my face. I could feel him lightly threading my hair through his fingers. 

“I’m not sure how many more times I can tell you goodbye like this. I fucking hate it.” His brows knitted together as he spoke. The emotion was clear on his face. He looked like he was about to break. I reached up to tangle my hands in his messy curls.

“I know baby, I do too. It’s just for four weeks though, then you get to come home for a few days.”

I tried my hardest to sound positive, but every fiber of my being was screaming in protest. Something felt off. Something was telling me to stay with him. I felt a tear slide down the side of my face while I fought with those emotions. I knew I was just being irrational because I didn’t want to be away from him. He wiped the tear away with his thumb and leaned down to kiss me, gently.

We were interrupted by the alarm on his phone going off. He reached over to grab it from the nightstand with a protesting groan as he pulled out of me. He turned the alarm off and set the phone next to my head as he settled above me again, continuing to kiss me deeply. But once again we were interrupted by his phone; it was Rylee with her usual morning call to make sure he was awake. He finally sat up to answer it. I could hear her reminding him of my flight details before he cut her off to say we had it all under control and he would see her later. He wasn’t usually so terse with her, so it surprised me a little. After he hung up, he let out a loud sigh and got up to go toward the shower. 

I sat in bed a little longer before joining him, taking a moment because I could feel the panic rising in my chest. The little voice in my head kept screaming at me to stay with him. I needed to pull it together, for him. Me being upset was only going to make him more anxious. I finally drug myself up out of the bed to go shower. We both rushed to get ready. He had to leave before I did, but I still needed to pack up.

When I came out of the bathroom after drying my hair and getting dressed, Dieter was sitting at the edge of the bed with his elbows propped on his knees and palms rubbing at his eyes. When he looked up at me, his eyes were red and glossy.

“My car is here.”

I inhaled a deep breath and gave him a nod as I walked toward him. I pulled him into a tight hug.

“You’re gonna be so busy, the time will fly by. You probably won’t even notice I’m gone,” I said into his neck. He scoffed.

“I think we both know that’s not true.”

I gave him a tight smile as I pulled away to look him in the eye, “You call me when you’re having a hard time, yeah?”

He looked down and away from me as he gave me a small nod. His phone pinged, no doubt it was Rylee telling him to hurry it up. He leaned in for one last kiss before leaving.

I stood for some time, staring at the door I had just watched close behind him. I kept having a feeling in the pit of my stomach that this might be the last time I would see him, and it was freaking me out. It took everything in me to push those thoughts away so that I could focus on packing and making my flight.

In the days that followed, he called every time he was able, but most of our communication was done via text message. Which I knew he absolutely hated. About a week after I got home, there was a full day that I didn’t hear from him. I started to get a little worried, until I got a text message from Rylee later that evening saying that Dieter’s phone was broken, and he would call me from her phone later.       

It was near midnight when my phone finally rang. I had been lying in bed for an hour, wide awake, hopeful that he was going to call. I know the relief had to be obvious in my voice when I answered.

“Please tell me you didn’t throw your phone into the river because it wouldn’t work.”

Dieter laughed, “No, actually I threw it at a stone wall because it wouldn’t work. It’s in pieces.”

I was a little taken aback by his response. I had only been joking.

“Dieter, that’s a little excessive.”

“Yeah, but it made me feel better for a few minutes.” He cleared his throat, voice slightly hoarse as fatigue laced through his words. “Until I realized I couldn’t text or call you at all after that.”

I wasn’t sure how to react to that. It seemed a little out of character for him.

“Rylee ordered another phone for me. It should be here tomorrow.”

“Well, at least you’ll get a replacement quickly.”

“Yeah, I’ll try to not break this one,” he said with a small laugh.

His voice sounded off. I wasn’t sure why, but it did.

“Are you doing ok?”

He took a moment to respond and I heard him gulp down something to drink. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be? I’m fan-fucking-tastic.”

“Is that sarcasm?”

“No. I’m fine.” More drinking sounds, then a sigh. “I mean, I miss you and I’m tired. That’s nothing new though.”

The phone disconnected with a beep. I got a text a minute later.

DIETER: Sorry, lost fucking signal again. Talk to you tomorrow. Love you.

“This fucking sucks,” I huffed out loud to myself. I sent him a quick goodnight text and tried to go to sleep. 

In the weeks that followed, I could tell something was going on with Dieter when he would call. He always insisted that he was fine, and it was just all the usual things bothering him. However, he seemed to be growing more distant. The calls and texts were becoming fewer and farther between. It was making me beyond anxious. I was having a hard time focusing on anything, including work. I spent a lot of my time alone, staring at the tv without having any idea what was happening on the screen. I avoided talking to Lauren and Gabby because I knew they would sense something was up, and I wasn’t sure where to even begin explaining my concerns without violating his privacy.

After going a day and a half without hearing from him, I called Rylee to see if he was ok. She said he was normal during filming. Maybe even a little more excitable and obnoxious than usual. She added that he did seem somewhat withdrawn when it was just the two of them though. I asked her to call me if things didn’t improve with him. He was due to come home for a break in one week, so I was hopeful he would snap out of whatever funk he was in.  

Around 10 PM that same evening, my phone lit up with an incoming call from Rylee. I suddenly felt sick. I knew something was wrong.

“Rylee?”

It took a moment before I heard her voice, as static and background noises seemed to drown her out at first. “Ummm, so Dieter is absolutely losing his shit on Tom right now. Do you think you can try to calm him down?” I had never heard Rylee truly agitated, but this time her voice was tense, laced with panic and concern.

My heart felt like it was beating in my throat as I gripped the phone tighter. “I can try- yes, of course. What happened?”

The screaming of two men in the background became louder, as if the phone was turned towards their direction, and I wondered if that was Rylee’s way of offering some further insight.

“Why can’t you just do what you’re fucking told? You’re gonna get someone fucking killed doing that shit,” Dieter yelled, his voice loud and distressed, the sound of it immediately conjuring up a visual of him with clenched fists and dark eyes like he had been that night at the bar.

“Fuck you man, go have a drink and calm the fuck down,” Tom spat back at him.  

“Fuck you dude, she just almost got hurt because of you. You’re an asshole,” Dieter said with indignation.

“Guys! Stop yelling. Take a break,” a third male voice interrupted.

“I don’t know, something about a stunt that didn't go well. I didn’t see it, so I’m not sure. Hold on.”

I could hear Rylee trying to get Dieter’s attention away from Tom, telling him I was on the phone.

“Did you fucking call her?” He sounded pissed and combative, which was not a tone he normally took with her.

She didn’t answer his question. “Talk to her please.”

I could hear the phone jostling around before he answered, his voice still sounding gruff, “Yeah, what is it?”

“What is it?” For a moment I was stunned and didn’t know how to respond at how he snapped at me. “That’s how you're answering? What’s going on?”

He ignored my question and instead fired off one of his own, tension in his words. “Did she call you?”

I hesitated. I didn’t want to get Rylee in trouble.

“No, I called because I haven’t heard from you in almost two days. I wanted to check in.”

He scoffed. “Check in? I’m a grown ass man, I don’t need you two babysitting me.”

“Whhaa? No. That’s…that’s not what I…”

“Look, I’m busy,” he interrupted me before I could say more. “The stunt coordinator needs me. I’ll call you later.”

I was shocked into silence. I didn’t know how to respond. He had never spoken to me like that before.

Rylee got back on the phone, sounding clearly uncomfortable as she must have overheard Dieter. “Heeeey, umm. I don’t even know what to say. That was weird.”

“I don’t know what to say either. I think… I’m gonna come back up there. Maybe it’s because he’s not sleeping.”

Rylee seemed to sigh in relief, but quickly recovered. “I’ll get a flight set up for you.”

“No, I can do that. Just, keep him out of trouble. I’ll see if I can get one for tomorrow.”

We hung up after that. I had to take a minute to pull myself together. I couldn’t let myself fall apart right now. Once I had a minute to gather my thoughts, I walked to my home office and fired up my desktop so I could start looking at flights. It was near 1:30 AM when my phone started ringing on my desk, it was Dieter. I was honestly surprised that he called.

“Hello.”

“Hey.”

“Hey.”  

I wasn’t sure what to say to him after our earlier exchange. I was hurt and upset with him. For a moment there was silence between us, but then Dieter cleared his throat as he finally spoke.

“I think we need to talk.”

I had that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I felt like I was going to be sick. Those words were never good.

“I just booked a flight”, I said, trying to not grip the phone even harder than I was already doing, just to have something to hold on to. “I’m gonna come back up there tomorrow.”

“I don’t want you to do that.” His voice was tight as he strained to get the words out. It almost hurt me to listen. He didn’t sound right, not like this. Not like the Dieter I had known over the past months.

“Why?”

“Because I don’t think this is working. It’s…”, he seemed to search for words. I could hear him moving things around; something scraping over a hard surface, the sound of ice cubes in a glass. “It’s a burden and it's inconvenient. Just don’t waste your time.” His speech sounded slightly slurred.

I took a deep breath to calm myself as I leaned my forehead against my hand that was propped on my desk. “Dieter. Don’t do this…please. Have you been drinking?”

“That doesn’t matter. I told you; I don't need you to babysit me.”

“I’m not, I’m just trying to figure out what’s going on with you.”

He took a deep breath as if bracing himself. “Look, where we’re filming, you’re not gonna be able to work,” he said, words rushing this time. “Aubrey isn’t gonna keep putting up with you taking time off. It’s not gonna work. It’s just not working.”

“What does that even have to do with anything?”

“Nothing, it just compounds the problem.” I could hear ice clinking against glass followed by him swallowing gulps of a beverage.

I shook my head, frustration and fear both thumping hard within my chest. “And what is the problem exactly?”

“We’re incompatible. We shouldn’t have to rearrange our lives to be together. It’s not fair to either of us.”

“What happened to doing whatever it takes to make this work?”

“Actually, I’m pretty sure I said I’d do whatever it takes to make you happy and I am,” he nearly snapped at me, following it up with some words in Spanish that sounded like a curse. “You’ll thank me for it later.”

“No, you said you were all in for this. You’re just gonna give up because it’s hard? Because it's a fucking burden to you?”, I said in disbelief. I leaned back in my chair, shaking my head. I could feel anger bubbling to the surface at his comment. “You think it’s been easy for me? I thought we were in this together. Why do you think you get to choose for me? Let me come up there so we can talk through this.”

“You’re not listening, I don’t have time for you right now.”

“Are you using drugs or something?”

“Why does everyone keep fucking asking me that?!?!”, he yelled in frustration. I could hear him throwing things around in the background. “No, I haven’t used drugs in a long fucking time. I’m completely aware of what I’m doing and saying.”

“Maybe it has to do with the way you're acting. Did you ever consider that? And I’m sorry for fucking caring.”

“Look, I don’t know what else to say. It’s not working, ok? We tried and it didn’t work. There are better options that are less work. No more burdens or inconveniences.” He sucked in a deep breath. “I need you out of my mind. There’s too much going on with it. It’s a burden.”

He just kept talking in circles. Half of it sounded like nonsense.

“What are you even saying? You’re not making sense.”

“I’m saying we’re done,” he interrupted me, his words sharp and feeling like they were stabbing right into my heart. “I can’t do it anymore. Does that make sense?”

I inhaled sharply, realizing he was set on his decision. My head was pounding, too many moments flashing through my mind as I tried to hold it together. I tried to sort out my thoughts to understand how we suddenly had gotten to this, and how to get through to him without being pushed away.  

“Why did you have to find me? I would’ve been fine if you’d just let me fucking go after New York,” I finally whispered.

My voice shook as I spoke. The tears started to fall from my eyes in a way that I had never before experienced. My vision was completely blurred by it. Dieter had gone silent on the other end of the phone, so quiet that I could barely hear him breathe. The line hadn’t disconnected, so I knew he was still listening. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of hearing me fall apart, so I hung up.

I stood, making my way to the bedroom. I crawled into bed and bawled my eyes out. I did so until the early morning glow started to show around the edges of the curtains. When I realized the new day was making itself known, I felt livid that I stayed up all night crying over him. Determined to find sleep, I got up and went to the kitchen in search of alcohol. I knew I had a few bottles hidden away. I found what I was looking for shoved to the back of one of the upper cabinets. I went straight for the hard liquor. Taking a few swings as I headed back to bed. I didn’t plan on getting wasted, I just wanted enough to knock me out so I didn’t have to think about him anymore. I settled back into bed and shot Aubrey a quick text to let her know I was going to take a few days off. I gave no explanation, and she didn’t question me. Once the alcohol had time to kick in, slowing my racing thoughts and helping me relax, I finally fell asleep.  

A/N: All right ya'll... so that happened. Our sweet Dieter is officially in full spiral mode and it's about to get a little crazy for both of them.

Questions to consider:

What do you think is going on with Dieter?

How are we feeling about his behavior?

How long do you think this spiral has been building?

How do you think Talia is going to handle this turn of events?

How are you feeling about the new characters? (Rylee, Tom, Chole)

Predictions?

Once you have had a minute to digest and share your thoughts for this chapter, jump on over to this post for part one of Deconstructing Dieter Bravo. This is a companion series I plan to do for the remaining chapters so that we can get a little more insight into what's going on in that mind of his. 😉

The chapter playlist and mood board are included below.

Next Chapter

Tag List: @rhoorl @bitchwitch1981 @readingiskeepingmegoing @runningmom94 @for-a-longlongtime @hisandsnakes @chaoticfestninja @survivingandenduring @partyofone3413 @cakipy-blog @pedrostories @titlee78 @poodlebae @guelyury @weho2kcmo

Let me know in the comments below if you would like to be added to the tag list.

[harrysarchive]

A request where Harry styles is a college football star student who has a crush on his single sexy proffesor, reader. One day, reader asked him to see after class

after class: h.s.

pairing: fratboy!harry x professor!reader

summary:

"i can tell you like the thought of this rendezvous with me." i smirk and she gasp.

"that is very inappropriate mr. styles."

or

fratboy harry has a hot professor and she calls him in after class.

warning:

SMUT 18+ PLEASE

p.s.a i didn't write the exact request but this is what i felt comfortable writing! thank you for the request! <3

𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐘'𝐒

𝐏𝐎𝐕

i let out an exaggerated sigh as i make my way to english literature, introduction to romantic poetry was the lesson of the week. at least the professor is bangin' hot. thick thighs, amazing curves and what looks like a d-cup set nicely on her chest.

professor y/l/n.

she was a recent graduate of the University of Georgia, the current school i was attending. a full ride football scholarship, i was the best wide receiver in the nation, uni's form all states where trying to pull me. i made the decision to attend UGA on logistics, the best football team in all the states, currently undefeated.

"you ready to see our professor?" niall snaps me out of my thoughts wiggling his eyebrows.

"bloody hell, yes. i don't think i could thank my advisor more for forcing me to do this class." i snicker and he chuckles shaking his head.

"tell me 'bout it." he comments licking his lips and i scrunch my face in disgust.

"watch yourself horan." i mumble as i see a group of girls waving at me and sending winks my way, i send them a wave before averting my eyes.

niall throws a punch at my arm before starting a light jog and i huff out a laugh before following him. sooner than later we find ourselves in professor y/l/n's lecture hall.

"romantic poetry is the poetry of the Romantic era, an artistic, literary, musical and intellectual movement that originated in Europe towards the end of the 18th century." professor y/l/n's states as she walks around her desk, a gray pencil skirt hugs her curvy hips, her freshly shaven legs on display, and a black turtleneck that sticks to her skin like glue. "i've decided to take a different route then the normal, 'Sonnet 18 by the beloved William Shakespeare', and instead we will start this unit with something from my background, 'El Beso' by Angelina Weld Grimké. which translates to 'the kiss', Grimké wrote the poem about a love song, full of passion, yearning, and confused emotions."

i lick my lips and pull my bottom lip between my teeth, she sits back on the desk and her hips plush out even more.

i never would've thought i could listen so much in a class.

"as like your other projects in my class you will either make a short story, making it easier for the common eye to read or, you will make a photo reflection. with that being said i would also like a short summary over 'El Beso.' she smiles at the class, "any questions?" no one raises their hand except, well me. "yes mr. styles?" she cocks an eyebrow.

"what is the grade point based on?"

"like all your other projects it depends on efficiency, the structure and etcetera." she replied folding her hand in-front of her chest, "also if i could see you after class mr. styles, we need to talk."

my heart drops to the pit of my stomach and i gulp down the knot in my throat, "of course professor y/l/n."

i'm fucked.

"thank you so much for working hard today! i cant wait to see all of the things you guys have come up with. there will be a short quiz over El Beso next class so study hard!" professor y/l/n shooes everyone out, class ticked by at the slowest rate known to man kind.

i stand awkwardly at the foot of her desk and wait till she turns around beaming a smile at me.

"ah mr. styles! exactly who i wanted to see. please follow me to my office." she starts walking towards the direction of the locked office and opens it with her key.

"now no need to be scared, just wanted to talk to you about your grades." she smiles pointing me to sit in the chair in front of her desk.

she slides into her rollie chair as well and pulls out a manila folder with my name on the top right corner.

"okay it's just that you seem to be doing exceptional in my class, you are one of the top students that i have."

"but..?" i wait for the wooing factor that's bound to happen.

"but you are barely passing your other classes." she pulls out what looks like a report card you would get in grade school.

"a seventy is passing." i state bluntly as i look over the grades.

"that is true mr. styles, very true but how are you making seventy precent in all other class and passing mine with a ninety percentage average?"

it's because you make me focus.

"how do i make you focus?" she answer the question i thought was just in my head.

"i don't know okay? i mean look at you! you're the hottest professor i have! it hard not to pay attention when you are the professor!"

her eyes widen at my outburst and her ears flush, she straightens herself out and i notice that she squeezes her thighs together.

"i'm sorry? that i distract you?" she stutters putting her glasses on the top of her head.

"i can tell you like the thought of this rendezvous with me." i smirk and she gasp.

"that is very inappropriate mr. styles."

i get up and make my way towards her side of the desk pulling her chair out, i let my hands travel up her sides and to her shoulders, massaging them slowly as she lets out a whine.

"tell me this doesn't turn you on. the thought of you and me. me bending you over this goddamn desk and me fucking you senseless." i whisper in her ear and a shiver runs down her spine.

"we can't." she says bluntly causing a chuckle to leave my mouth.

"i didnt ask if we could did i, love?" she holds back an answer and i bring my lips to her neck pressing kisses on her sensitive skin, "i asked if this turns you on."

she pulls her bottom lip between her teeth and murmurs, "fuck it." before spinning around and crashing her lips with mine. i eagerly kiss back slipping my tongue between her mouth, she lets a moan slips out. i slip between her legs and my arms grab underneath her thighs picking her up with ease.

"wait," she whines pulling apart and pushing my chest.

"what baby?" i practically cry out wanting nothing more than to kiss her puffy lips again.

"the door, i didn't lock it."

i let out a chuckle before dropping her to her feet and briefly pecking her lips, quickly locking the door. y/n leans over the desk, the plump of her ass sticking out.

"so you do want this?" i muse as my hand runs along down arch of her back.

"shut up and fuck me." she grunts through gritted teeth causing my cock to swell in my pants.

i slip a hand through the front of her skirt splitting her sleek folds before my thumb makes contact with her sensitive puffy clit rubbing tight circles, her whimpers and moans start to fill the air, "you're soaked baby." i mumble in her ear and she shivers.

"please." she pleas, grabbing ahold on her skirt hiking it up and they bunch on her plump hips.

"wanna taste ya cunt first." i groan sitting in her chair as i pull down her red lace thong, "ya tryna to kill me."

pressing a kiss to the arch of her back i make my way down to her puffy cunt, jesus fuck, i spread her glistening folds pressing a kiss to her clit, she lets out a breathy moan before pushing her hips back licking a broad stripe through her folds, muffling my own groan of pleasure.

"oh harry." she shuddered pulling her hand to her mouth, trying to suppress the small moans and whimpers that were trying to escape her.

"no," i growl against her and slap her plushy ass, "let them out, i wanna her you."

her jaw fell open as a beautiful pornographic moan erupted through the room, knuckles white as they fisted the bottom of the desk, nails digging in the wood leaving small angry marks, her hips pushing back into my face.

my hands were around her thighs, pulling her closer to me, holding her still as she huffed out a breath through her swollen lips. i begged her with my actions, digging fingers into her beautiful melanin flesh and willed her to cum on my face.

"har, 'm gonna cum!" she moaned bucking her hips.

"do it." i spat shortly.

she lets out a high pitched moan as her orgasm hits her, i let her ride it out coaxing her swollen clit. my hands quickly unbutton my pants and i yank them down along with my boxers.

"got my cock leaking honey." i muse lightly fisting my bulge.

"fuck me please." she whines arching her back further.

"yeah you want my cock bad?" i tease swiping my swollen tip through her velvet folds.

not wanting to tease us both any longer i positioned my cock at her entrance, pushing inside her in one fluid motion. she moaned loudly, my hands moving to her lower back, fingers digging into her skin i groaned at the feeling of being inside her. i fucked into her at a torturously steady pace. she grounded her hips down to meet my movements, desperate for more, silently begging me to meet that soft spot inside of her. my hand moves to her neck, wrapping around her throat and she whines.

" 's good." she slurred as her legs start to buckle.

i pull her up with the hand that's around her neck, moving it to her face before turning her head to give her a bruising kiss. once we pulled away i push her down again my hips snapping faster craving a release. i looked at her like she was artwork, displayed just for me in a pornographic arch. my pace was fast, smooth and shallow thrusts, keeping my hips angled so my cock could hit that spongy place that makes her eyes roll back.

"faster h! please!" she cried pushing her hips back, i rocked my hips faster against her before looking down where we connected, i gather saliva in my mouth before spitting between us.

"that's it baby, that's it, take it like a good girl." i gasp out gripping her hips with an iron grip not letting her run from my thrust. i felt her spazzing around me and a choked moan left my lips, my hand moves around to her front and my thumb connects with her swollen pearl.

"cum for me baby." i grunt and she lets out a whine clawing the front of her desk.

she clenched around me and i let out a gasp as we both finally released. my thrusts we're starting to slow down, giving her a sharp pump keeping my cock there as her orgasm hit her. she screams my name as her eyes closed and legs shook. i stood above her as i waited for her pulse to calm down. i let out a breathy chuckle before pulling out and grabbing a tissue for the box of her desk. i quickly clean her before placing a kiss on her plump ass and pull her thong up.

"what do you want for dinner love?" i ask as she pushes her skirt back into place.

she turns around with a smile on her lips before pushing me to sit in her chair and sitting in my lap, "dunno, we haven't gone grocery shopping this week, we have nothing in the fridge."

i play with the diamond ring that rested on her left hand before bringing it to my lips and placing a kiss on it.

"i can go if you want sum pet."

"yeah been craving your chicken parm." she groans out rubbing her stomach, i let out a chuckle before kissing her lips.

"okay want anything else?"

"those crisps i like, the spicy ones." she hums running a hand through my hair, "best fiancé out there."

"yeah? 'm the best?" i tease her and she nods.

a/n: PLOT TWIST😭🤣🤣 i knew i wanted them to have a real relationship but i didn't know if i wanted it to be a "they use to date" relationship or a "they're engaged" relationship😋

also a lil introduction about me i'm 19! my full name is emily but please call me em! i am mexican (MEXICORRY RISE🇲🇽) my pronouns are she/her/hers. i've been a fan of harry since xfactor days so i'm not new to this fandom🫶🏽 that's all you get rn ;)

-all the love,

em

xo🐝

[minisugakoobies]

Paradise | JJK - Eleven

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: smut, neighbors to lovers (not quite friends but not quite strangers), slow burn, love triangle, Stripper!AU

Rating: M (18+)

Warnings: swearing, drinking, kissing, grinding, special guest appearances by Stripper!Namjoon and Stripper!Hoseok as well as Jimin and Taehyung, dirty talk, fingering, wall sex, slow fucking, mention of sex toys, the body chain returns, Jungkook is a smirky teasing demon (but what's new), Jungkook's stamina is insane, capitalism is a cockblock, gratuitous use of comic book character dog names, more dirty photos

Word Count: 16.4k (I'm sorry!)

Disclaimers: NSFW, obviously I don’t own BTS - they just inspire me

Summary: That sexy man on stage - the one currently giving your friend the lap dance of her LIFE - is your super shy neighbor, Jeon Jungkook?!

A/N: Sorry this one took so long! I thought about splitting the chapter but ultimately felt it worked best kept as one. I'm technically on a tumblr hiatus, but I finished this today and want to get it out there. I appreciate everyone's patience with this story - I can't believe it's been over a year already! I'm really trying not to have such lengthy periods between chapters, but muses are pretty fucking fickle.

Been excited about getting to this chapter for a while, so I hope you like it! 🥺

Unbeta’d as usual. Please don't be a silent reader, I’d love to hear from you! Taglist is open. 💕

Previous Chapter ♦️ Paradise Masterlist ♦️ Next Chapter

Friday morning arrives with a sense of relief. Not just for the end of the work week, but also for your run-in with Wendy last night and the tiniest possibility that you might have a way out of your job already. Would you seem too desperate if you emailed Wendy as soon as you logged on for work? It’s not like she didn’t understand your current situation - she left your company as soon as she could. But maybe you should wait a few days before reaching out.

The first thing you see upon logging in is an email from your boss, informing you that there will be a mandatory video call this afternoon for your entire department. The announcement is cryptic, only providing a time of one o'clock and a topic of “department changes.” This strikes you as ominous. Then you read an email from one of your coworkers that mentions whispers of possible layoffs looming at the end of this quarter. 

You immediately open a blank email and start composing a message to Wendy. 

The flowers that Jungkook gave you on your date last week are still sitting in a vase on your desk. Knowing you have a long day ahead of you, you pause long enough to lean over and breathe in, inhaling the sweet fragrance of the bouquet. The scent conquers up a memory of the soft smile on Jungkook’s face when you’d opened the door that night. The vision lingers in your mind as you dig into your work. 

An hour later, as you’re fighting with a report that has your head aching with frustration, your phone trills, "Be still, my heaaaaart…”

Of course it’s not Wendy, that would be ridiculously fast for her to be calling already with news of a job opportunity, but you still have a split second of nervous excitement when it goes off. And then you see who is actually calling and grin anyway. 

“Good morning, gorgeous,” a cheerful voice greets you. “Hey, Jin.” 

“I hope it’s okay that I’m calling. I realize you’re probably working.”

“I am, but I could use the break.”

“Great.” There’s a sigh on the other end. “I’m glad you got home okay last night. I know you said you didn’t mind, but I feel like I should apologize for leaving you at the reception like that.”

“Oh, Jin, it’s fine! Really.” Okay, yes, you were rather disappointed that that’s how your night ended, but you couldn’t exactly blame him for jumping at a great opportunity. The Nosh execs were clearly trying to woo him, he would’ve been a fool to walk away last night, no matter the reason. Right? “Tell me how the drinks at Dionysus went!”

“Well, my agent and I are having dinner tonight with their head of marketing, if that gives you any idea…?” 

“Jin! That’s fantastic!” There’s a chime from your laptop. Email from a supervisor asking if your report is finished yet. You stifle a sigh. “It sounds like they’re really excited to possibly work with you.” 

“Apparently Hongjoong-ssi’s wife is a big fan of my show, and when he went home last night and told her we’d met, she freaked out!” His windshield wiper laugh makes you giggle. “Told him he’d be an idiot if he didn’t sign a deal with me. So I guess I need to give her a shoutout on my next stream.” He laughs again. “It’s a little surreal how quickly things are moving.” 

“But it must be so satisfying, too.” If there’s one thing you’ve learned about Jin in the short time you’ve been dating him, it’s how hard he hustles. There’s something so admirable about the way he’s chasing his dream. Makes you wish you had one of your own to fight for. 

“Well, I’m not complaining. But speaking of satisfaction…”

“Smooth.” 

“Thank you. Listen, I still want to make last night up to you, if you’ll let me. What’s your weekend look like?”

“Um, tomorrow I have maid of honor duties in the morning, then I have a hot date with Jisoo.”

“Oh, really?” he hums. 

“Mmmhmm. But I’m free all day Sunday.” 

“Let’s go back to the hot date with Jisoo.” 

Rolling your eyes, you grin. “Nothing that exciting, I promise you. I think we’re just planning on doing face masks and a movie or two. What did you have in mind?”

“Oh, there are plenty of things on my mind, if you’d like to know…”

“For our date, Jin, not for me and Jisoo.” 

“I was talking about our date! What are you trying to imply?” His pitch rises in mock indignation before your giggles break him. “My offer to teach you how to cook still stands. Any interest in making dinner together?”

“Hmmm, free cooking lessons from an in-demand chef? Why would I say no to that?” 

“Perfect. I thought maybe I could take you to see the site of the restaurant my business partner and I are working on. We can use the kitchen there, since it’s bigger than mine or yours.” As if the massive kitchen in his luxury condo would be too small for the two of you to work in. “I can give you a private tour before the place opens and the waitlist gets long.” 

“You know, that brings me to an important question - how does it work when one’s dating the chef? Do I automatically get a reservation whenever I want, or…”

“You know I’ll take care of you,” he purrs, and you shiver at the sudden change in his tone. “Don’t you worry about that.”

“Oh, well, in that case…” you trail off, giggling. Your laptop chimes again. Same supervisor, same question. Can’t these people understand that you’re too busy flirting to work right now? “I gotta get back to work. Supervisors are stuffing my inbox.” 

“Kinky,” he squeaks. “I suppose I should get up and get moving myself. I need to start planning a menu for Sunday night. Is there anything in particular you’d like to learn how to make?”

“Ummm… honestly, I am a true novice here, Jin. The most complicated dish I can make is a basic stir fry. So I guess… whatever you think would make for a nice beginner meal?”

“All right. I’ll take care of it. And then I’ll see you on Sunday - let’s say I’ll pick you up at 6?”

“Yeah. That sounds good.” A third chime. Your supervisor is really testing you today. “I’ll see you on Sunday, Jin.” 

He murmurs a sweet goodbye, and you close your eyes, savoring the gentle tone of his voice before diving back into your report before your supervisor has an aneurysm. 

The rest of the morning passes in a blur of emails and spreadsheets. When noon arrives, you pad out to your kitchen to grab a granola bar and some grapes, too into the thick of things to want to stop and pick up a real meal. 

At 12:30, there’s a jarring beeping next door. 

You wonder if Jungkook slept as soundly as you did last night. That’s twice now that you’ve gotten an amazing night’s sleep thanks to your neighbor. He just seems to have the magic touch… even though he didn’t actually touch you last night. Didn’t seem to matter. 

If only he didn’t have to work tonight. The offer he made to test Lil Jackson Wang’s range is super tempting, knowing he could put you to sleep with just a few deft swipes on an app, but you want more than just another restful slumber. Not that an orgasm wouldn’t be welcome, but… what you’d really like, tonight, or maybe right now, as you yawn and stretch, would be to fall asleep in his arms again.

Hmmm. Well now. That’s a thought you’ve not really had before. You’ve repeatedly found yourself daydreaming in the past few weeks about Jungkook, but typically in these visions the two of you are doing anything but sleeping. 

Staring into space, you sigh, imagining being curled up in Jungkook’s warm embrace at this very moment. Picturing his messy bedhead and soft sleepy smile. Maybe you should’ve called out from work today. Then you could be experiencing this vision instead of simply dreaming about it.  

Maybe you could try to convince Jungkook to take a sick day himself. 

You grab your phone. 

(12:45): I have a confession

Kookie 🦌 (12:45): morning jagi

(12:45): Good morning, I have a confession

(12:46): Something I’ve been waiting for years to tell you

Kookie 🦌 (12:46): fuck

Kookie 🦌 (12:46): keep talking

(12:46): I hate your alarm clock

Kookie 🦌 (12:47): not exactly what i was hoping to hear

(12: 47): Just had to get that off my chest

Kookie 🦌 (12:47): feel better? 

(12:48): I do, actually. Thanks for listening

(12:48): What about you? Is your leg okay?

Kookie 🦌 (12:48): just woke up but feels ok so far

Kookie 🦌 (12:48): you want me to get rid of my alarm clock?

(12:49): Would you? I could replace it for you

Kookie 🦌 (12:49): i’m not going to say no to that

Kookie 🦌 (12:49): you can wake me up every day if you want

It’s funny how you can feel his smirk in his words. 

(12:49): Not what I meant but

(12:50): Not opposed either

(12:50): Although I don’t know if I’d be any good at getting you OUT of bed

Kookie 🦌 (12:51): come over

Your stomach swoops at his response, and you shift in your seat, rubbing your thighs together, suddenly feeling needy. Just from two innocent words! What is this power that this man has over you?

If only you could go over there right now. Stupid capitalism. 

(12:52): For what, practice?

(12:52): Make sure I can get you up?

Kookie 🦌 (12:53): jagi i’m already up

Kookie 🦌 (12:53): just for you

His next text is a photo.

You nearly drop your phone. 

(12:53): I can’t believe I’m saying this but

(12:54): I have a stupid important call to jump on in a few minutes 

(12:54): Like possibly career changing important

Three grey dots appear and disappear, over and over, making you frown. You just said you don’t have much time. What is taking him so long to respond? 

A sudden knock on your door startles you off your chair. 

Kookie 🦌 (12:56): let me in?

As soon as the door is open, Jungkook’s arms are around you. Your fingers curl into his thick hair, tugging him as close as you can, and your eyes flutter shut as he kisses you, pressing himself into you, and holy fuck do you regret not calling in sick today.

With a happy sigh, you open your eyes to find him smiling at you. “Good morning.”

He’s shirtless, just a pair of black joggers slung low around his hips, doing little to hide his current condition. His hair is in fact just as shaggy as you’d imagined, a dark cloud on his head, and his eyes are scrunched in happiness to the point that they’ve become thin crescents. 

“Mmm, good morning, Kookie.” You sling your arms over his shoulders, keeping him close. His skin is so warm, heat radiating everywhere he touches you, and it’s all you can do not to just drag him into your apartment and straight into your bed. 

Why can’t you do that, again? Oh, right. Damn responsibilities. Adulting sucks. 

His cheeks redden a little. “I won’t keep you long. Just wanted to say hi.” His eyes fall to his hoodie, which you’ve cloaked yourself in again, and he yanks on the drawstrings playfully.

“Oh. Well. Hi,” you beam, and his eyes crinkle once more as his shy bunny smile makes an appearance. Fuck, how you love that smile. “Be honest. You just wanted to tease me.”

“Always.” The cute bunny disappears, leaving behind a smirky demon, who suddenly grinds into you, and you clap a hand over your mouth to keep yourself from moaning loudly in the hallway. After last night’s vocal exercises with the toy, you really don’t need to annoy your other neighbors any further. “Don’t be late for your call, jagiya. And make sure you stay focused.”

You swat at his shoulder. “Fuck, you play dirty, Jeon Jungkook.” He just nods, looking way too pleased with himself, and you laugh as you untangle yourself from his embrace, pushing him away. 

He grins as he strolls backwards towards his apartment. “Go on, get on your call. You said it’s important, right?”

“Yeah.” 

“Then good luck.” 

After your meeting, in which your boss informs you that your department will be reorganizing, which is code for ‘downsizing,’ your coworker emails you again, this time to ask just what the hell was making you smile so much.

For the rest of the day, your phone barely leaves your hand. If Jungkook hadn’t already left his apartment while you were on your call, you might’ve been easily swayed to take the rest of the day off to hang out with him. But he had to head to the club to help Namjoon and Hoseok with a new routine they’ve been practicing. From the sound of it, Jungkook helps a lot of the dancers there to perfect their performances. You can’t blame them for wanting his help, replaying Jennie’s lap dance in your mind for the millionth time. 

The conversation winds on and on, the two of you discussing anything and everything. Your annoyance with work. His latest commission (a portrait for one of the bartenders at the club). Your excitement about Jennie’s wedding. 

When he sends you a photo of himself hugging Taehyung’s puppy, a guest at today’s practice, you make him promise to invite you the next time he dogsits. Then Jungkook mentions wanting a pup of his own, and together you brainstorm dog names that make you giggle harder with every increasingly ridiculous suggestion. Jungkook really likes Peter Barker, named after his favorite superhero, while you prefer M’Barku yourself. 

After ordering some takeout for dinner, you crash on your couch for the evening. There’s a random movie playing on the big screen in your living room, but all your attention is focused on the tiny screen still glued to your hand. Even once Jungkook’s started his shift at Paradise, he pops in during breaks between dances. Every time your phone vibrates, there’s a matching flutter in your chest. 

The previous night’s lack of sleep catches up to you, though, and soon you find yourself starting to drift off between Jungkook’s replies. He seems to be getting busier as the night wears on, taking longer and longer to respond. You close your eyes for a second, wondering if he’s performing the same routine again, with that same wicked smirk….

A thudding sound wakes you and you sit up with a start, realizing you a) fell asleep on your couch and b) managed to kick your tumbler off the end table in your sleep. You also discover that you’re still clutching your phone, and glance at the time. It’s almost three in the morning. 

You have messages waiting.

Kookie 🦌 (11:21): you still there? 

Kookie 🦌 (11:56): always falling asleep on me

Kookie 🦌 (12:45): sweet dreams jagi

Saturday morning arrives with sunny weather, a nice break from the gloomy cloudy grey of the week. Despite having slept most of the night on your couch, you feel pretty refreshed, even before you treat yourself to an iced coffee on your way to meet your friends for Jennie’s final wedding dress fitting. 

The dress shop is a tiny boutique only a few blocks from your apartment. Halfway there, you cross paths with a man walking an adorable little beagle. The puppy stops to sniff your sneakers, so you snap a quick photo and send it off to Jungkook. Even though it’s early for him, the hour being before noon, he responds immediately, and you’re so distracted by your chat that you walk a block past the shop before realizing you missed it. 

While the seamstress helps Jennie into her gown in the store’s only dressing room, you and the other girls mill about, flipping idly through the racks, catching up on each other’s weeks. Your friends are aghast when you talk about your evening with Jin and how he left you at the networking reception. Not even Lisa, the captain of Team Worldwide Handsome herself, thinks it was okay, even though you keep stressing how much it might’ve helped Jin’s career. But you just wave their concern away and change the subject, asking Rosé about her big date Friday night. Clearly, it went well, given the way she’s currently spinning about the room with a giant smile on her face.

“So then Namjoon and I were talking about our hobbies and I mentioned how I’ve been trying to take better care of my houseplants. You remember that orchid you got me for my birthday, Ji? Poor thing’s not doing so hot these days. He offered to give me some tips, because apparently he’s like an amateur botanist! He even said I could bring it over to his place. He’s got a tiny greenhouse out back, and he’ll nurse it back to health for me.” She beams. “Isn’t that cute?”

“Super cute!” Lisa confirms.

“Adorable,” you second.

“I couldn’t believe how sweet he was! Like, he was telling me how his halmeoni taught him about gardening, and he kept giving me this shy smile…” she dips her head, looking up at everyone bashfully, and giggles. “I swear to God, if our waiter hadn’t returned at that moment with our dessert, I was this close to leaping over the table and just eating him up.”  

“Okay, you had an amazing time at dinner, we get it. Get to the good stuff,” Jisoo demands.

Rosé sticks out her tongue. “This is the good stuff! Some of us like to actually talk to our dates.” 

“I talk to mine!” Jisoo retorts. “How else will they know what I want them to do?”

“I’m talking about having a real conversation, not giving out orders.” 

“I have conversations!” Rosé scoffs and Jisoo’s eyes narrow. “I’m serious! I go deep!”

“That’s what he said?” you whisper to Lisa, who giggles and shushes you.

“Oh yes, I’m sure “Come for me” has led you to some very profound discussions about the human condition!”

“Actually, not that you need to know, but yes, it has!”

You and Lisa just roll your eyes as the two squabble. It’s nothing new. They love winding each other up and usually spar until one of them gets bored. Holding a floor-length white sequined dress up to herself, Lisa tips her head as she stares at herself in the mirror near the dressing room. 

“So when do I get to meet one of Jungkook’s handsome friends?” She pauses. “Or Jungkook himself, for that matter?”

“You’ve met him,” you insist, and she shakes her head. “Uh. Haven’t you?” 

“Not really. Just said hello in passing a few times.”

“Huh.” Apparently you were so used to seeing your neighbor around now, you’d just assumed your friends had all met him. “I guess I could probably see if he and his friends wanted to hang out sometime, if you all wanted to? Like I’m sure Taehyung and Jimin would be in if Ji will be there, and now Namjoon and Rosé…” 

“Well, what about next Saturday? The wedding?” Rosé asks. Having abandoned their bickering, she and Jisoo join you at the mirror. 

“What about the wedding?” 

Rosé gives you a strange look. “Won’t we all get a chance to meet Jungkook there next week?” 

“Oh. Um, I’m not sure how you’re gonna do that, since I don’t think he was invited?”

All three of your friends groan your name at various volumes. 

“What??” 

“Babe. Why haven’t you asked him to be your date?” Jisoo inquires. 

“Well, for one thing, I didn’t tell Jennie I was bringing a plus one, and it’s a little late to throw one at her now…” 

“Oh, please,” Jennie’s voice calls out from the dressing room. “You know if you want to bring Jungkook, we’ll find room for him! I just assumed you and Jin would be coming together?”

Jisoo snorts.

“Um, well, actually…”

Another chorus of groans. 

“Look, I don’t want to make things awkward!”

“How would going with Jin be awkward?” 

“I think she meant picking one over the other might be weird, Lis.” Rosé replies.

You sigh, rubbing your temples with the tips of your fingers. “I just don’t know what will happen if they’re both in the same room again. You remember what I told you about Jungkook when I ran into him at Dionysus, right? The way he reacted to seeing me on my date with Jin?” 

“Oh yeah,” Jisoo hums as the others nod. “That was ridiculously hot of Bambi.” 

Hot or not, it had left your head swimming. “Yeah, well, I’m not looking for a repeat. I mean, what if they get into some sort of argument or something?”

Lisa cocks an eyebrow. “You think they might fight over you?” 

You shrug. “I mean, no. Not really. Neither of them seem the type to punch another guy over a girl.” Although Jungkook does seem to have a sharp tongue when he’s drunk. Would he say something rude directly to Jin’s face? How would Jin react? “I don’t think, at least.” 

“Well, if you’re unsure, how about we not find out at my wedding?” Jennie suggests cheerfully. “Let’s just keep everything nice and neat and as drama-free as possible!”

Jisoo sighs. “Speaking of drama, Jennie, will you come out already? I think you’ve amped up the anticipation enough.” 

“Okay, but only because you asked so sweetly, Ji.” 

The kindly grey-haired seamstress reappears, throwing open the curtains to the dressing room, and Jennie emerges. She’s a vision in white, swathed in lace and satin, the train of her gown trailing behind her as she slowly approaches the rest of you. 

“Jennie!”

“Beautiful!”

“Oh my god, you’re gorgeous!!”

A loud sob makes you all turn. As you watch with your mouth agape, Jisoo bursts into ugly, full-body-wracking tears. The rest of you coo and rush to hug her as Jennie shakes her head.

“You’re such a softie, Kim Jisoo!” She reaches into the scrum, careful not to get too close and wrinkle her dress, and squeezes Jisoo’s hand. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine! Just - just happy for you!” comes a muffled response from where Jisoo’s face is buried in Lisa’s shirt. 

“She’ll be okay,” you assure Jennie, rubbing Jisoo’s back gently. “I’ll pull her back together tonight when we’re hanging out. But how do you feel right now? I’m honestly surprised you’re not in here crying with her.” 

Jennie inspects her reflection, fingers straightening the lace over her bodice. After a moment, she catches your eye in the mirror. The smile that lights up her face is blinding, and for a second you’re afraid you might start bawling like Jisoo. 

“I’m tempted to text Yoongi right now and tell him to get his cute lil’ peach down here so I can marry him this very minute. I can’t wait, I’m just so excited!” 

The subject of your wedding date (or lack thereof) doesn’t come up again as the morning fades into afternoon. Your friends are more interested in showering Jennie with love. As are you. But it gnaws at you anyway, as you listen to your friends breathlessly discussing the upcoming ceremony. 

Should you ask Jungkook to be your date? Would Jin get upset if you didn’t ask him? How weird would it really be to have them both there? Maybe you’re making a bigger deal out of this than you should. 

God knows it wouldn’t be the first time you’ve done that. 

Jisoo knocks on your door around eight with a bottle of your favorite green grape soju in hand, dressed like she’s ready for the club - black crop top with a keyhole cutout over her chest, scandalously short pink leather skirt, hair pulled up in a high ponytail and eyeliner winged straight to the heavens.

“Holy shit,” you greet her. “You look amazing, but uhhhh maybe a little overdressed for a movie?”

She swans into your apartment, the heels of her boots clicking on the hardwood floor. “The movie can wait. It’s Saturday night. Time to get fucked up.” 

“Uh.” The last time you got quote unquote ‘fucked up’ was the night you went to Dionysus, and recalling the morning after makes your stomach lurch a little. Following your friend into your kitchen, you watch as she pulls two shot glasses down from your cupboard, then pours you both a dram. “Okay. I’m not opposed to having some soju with you tonight, but the outfit still seems like overkill.” 

“Babe.” Jisoo holds out your glass for you to take. “Obviously we’re going out. We’re too young and gorgeous to be wasting ourselves away on your couch tonight! Do you really want to deprive the world of this?” She waves her hand to indicate the two of you, and you look down at yourself with a raised brow.

“Actually, I think the couch is the only place for this,” you reply, gesturing to your clothes. Leggings and Jungkook’s hoodie. The sweatshirt has become your second skin at this point. 

“Oh, don’t worry, I’ll take care of that,” Jisoo informs you. “We’ll find you something to wear. But first things first.” She lifts her glass in the air. “Geonbae!”

The liquor goes down so smoothly. For all her deadpan ability, Jisoo can’t stop herself from making a face at the tang of the shot. It’s the same face she’s made every time you’ve shared this soju over the years. A wave of nostalgia rolls over you, bringing with it all the memories of evenings spent drinking and laughing with your friend, and you throw your arms around her and give her a tight squeeze.

“I know it’s good soju, but this is a little much,” she mutters from where her lips are smushed into your shoulder.

“Sorry. I’m just really happy we’re hanging out. I’ve missed you.” 

“Oh god, you’ve bypassed the funny drunk phase and gone straight to sappy reminiscing, haven’t you? Let’s get you some water, lightweight.” 

Double fisting soju and water, you let Jisoo lead you into your bedroom. There’s no point in trying to argue with her about going out, so you don’t. At the very least, maybe if you get ready quickly, you can come home sooner than later. Sitting on your bed, you play dj and queue up some music on your phone while Jisoo stares at your closet in horror. 

“There are just… so many hoodies. Why?” 

“You sound like Jennie. And what’s wrong with hoodies, anyway?! They’re comfortable!” 

Jisoo merely grunts while rifling through your clothes. For a few minutes, you just vibe to the music as your friend rummages, mumbling the occasional “What on earth” or “Oh, babe, no,” under her breath as she flips through the hangers.

“You know I can hear you, right?” 

She simply shoots you a tragic look.

“Anyway… I noticed you didn’t say anything in the shop earlier about what you did last night.”

“Nothing to report. I stayed in.” 

“Alone?” 

Your phone buzzes. 

Kookie 🦌 (8:15): matt murdog

Grinning, you glance at Jisoo, still elbow-deep in your closet, before replying. 

(8:15): That one’s a bit of a stretch

Jisoo pauses, hands in mid-pull on a shirt you immediately veto with a shake of your head. “Yes. Alone. I’m not always out with someone.” 

“Y’know, it seems like you haven’t been seeing a lot of different someones lately. Just Taehyung. Or Jimin. Or both.” 

Kookie 🦌 (8:17): pupper potts

(8:17): Honestly, not the worst

(8:18): Woofsbane

Kookie 🦌 (8:18): deep pull

Kookie 🦌 (8:18): respect

Jisoo hasn’t said anything while you’ve been texting, and you put your phone down to watch her studiously skim through your clothing. “Is there anything there you want to tell me, Ji?”

She stops again, this time with a dress you haven’t worn in ages. You start to shake your head, then reconsider, gesturing for her to hand it to you. “If I had anything to tell you, I would. Don’t I always?” 

“Yeah. I suppose you do.” Shimmying out of your clothes, you tug the dress over your head. It still fits, and if anything, looks even better now that you’re curvier than you used to be. “Is it me or does my ass look amazing in this?”

“It’s you.” Jisoo laughs, ducking the pillow you throw in her direction. “No, you’re right, you look fucking fantastic. I think we have a winner.” She pours another round of shots for you to tip back. 

Settling in front of your makeup mirror, you smile sweetly at your friend. “Do my makeup? Please? I can never get my eyeliner to wing as perfectly as you do.” 

“Flatterer.” 

As Jisoo rummages through your makeup, you pour more shots. Jisoo clears her throat. “They were both working.” 

“Huh?” 

“Last night. Tae and Min were both at Paradise.” She gently swipes some color over your eyelids. “That’s why I was at home, alone.” 

“I’m sorry, Tae and Min?” 

“Stop smiling like that and hold still!”

But you can’t stop grinning at your friend as she frowns, trying not to poke you in the eye with a liquid liner. “You gave them nicknames? And sat at home alone because they were at work? Ji, are you even dating anyone else right now?”

Jisoo rolls her eyes. “Calm down, will you? Otherwise, your eyeliner is going to be less of a wing and more of a smear.” You hold as still as you can, despite the and she sighs. “No, I haven’t seen anyone else in a few weeks. Just Tae and Min, and yes, that is what I call them, and no, it is not technically exclusive. We’ve never discussed anything. I just… haven’t wanted anyone else.” She scowls. “Stop looking at me like that!” 

“Like what?” You glance in the mirror as she finishes your eyes, turning your face left and right to admire her skill. 

“Like I have little cartoon hearts in my eyes. I’m not in love. But I am happy right now, and I don’t see any reason for that to change by bringing someone else into the mix. Or whatever. I just… I want them. And right now, I have them. That’s all I need.” 

“Well, fuck.” 

She arches a brow at your pithy response, and it’s your turn to sigh. 

“I just envy you sometimes, you know?”

“Of course you do,” she drawls, flashing you a grin. “But what in particular is it this time?” 

“The way you just know what you want, and go for it!”

Jisoo plops down on your bed, assessing you with one of her scrutinizing looks. “Okay, who got in your head now?”

“No one. I’ve just been thinking a lot lately. About what I want. Take work, for example. I’ve gotten stuck in this job because I’ve just gone with the flow for so long. I never intended to end up where I am, but the company kept promoting me, kept moving me around from department to department, and I just went along with it. I never really stopped to think about what I wanted.” 

Your friend nods slowly. “And now you’re starting to?” 

“Yeah. And there’s just so much to consider.” 

“Is there, though?”

“What do you mean?” 

Jisoo shrugs. “You said you didn’t think about what you wanted. So that’s all you need to do now. Just go for what you want.”

But you don’t know what you want. Isn’t that obvious? And even if you did, it’s not as easy as Jisoo makes it sound. For you, at least. For her, it is. Anything she’s ever wanted, she’s gone after. No second guessing, no worrying about what others might think or say, not stopping until she obtains whatever her heart desires.

When you don’t answer, she frowns, brows knitting together in concern. “Come on. It’s not that hard, is it?”

“I guess not. I just don’t know where to start.” 

“Do you want me to try to help you? Or do you wanna keep drinking and forget your problems?”

Both, honestly. “Help. Help me please.” 

Jisoo motions for you to join her on the bed. Curling your legs under you, you glance at the phone in your hand. No new messages. “Let’s play a round of rapid fire answers. I’ll ask you a few questions and you have to answer immediately, no thinking.”

Lifting your head, you give her a funny look. “This is going to help?” 

“Yes. It’ll force you to bypass the portion of your brain prone to overthinking, where all the ‘what ifs’ dwell. Trust your instincts, and answer right away. Okay?” 

“Fine. Why not.” 

“Okay.” She nods, clapping her hands. “What’s better, spring or fall?” She speaks quickly, words clipped as she spits them out, and you answer just as fast.

“Spring.” 

“Do you prefer pants or skirts?” 

“Pants.” 

“Favorite soju flavor?” 

“Green apple.” 

“Black or white?” 

“Black.” 

“What’s your favorite word?” 

“Mellifluous.” 

“Night or day?” 

“Night.” 

“Jin or Jungkook?”

“Jung - Jisoo!” 

“Haaaa!” Jisoo claps again, either to end the questions or to applaud herself for her cleverness. “I knew it!” 

“Fuck you, you don’t know anything! I was just in a rhythm.” Your lower lip slides out in a pout. She plucks it between her thumb and forefinger and you dissolve into giggles. Jisoo’s little game might not have helped you figure out your problem, but it did make you laugh, and you feel a little lighter now. 

“Sure you were, babe. Also, mellifluous? Really?” 

“I think it’s pretty!” 

She grins. “As pretty as Jungkook?” 

Your phone buzzes. 

“Okay, who keeps texting you??” Jisoo snatches the phone before you can, eyebrows rising as she glances at the screen. She whistles before tossing you the device. “We summoned the sexy demon himself. Bambi says hi.” 

You flip the phone over in your hands and suck in a breath. Jungkook sent you a photo of his wardrobe for his shift tonight. He’s wearing the body chain again, trailing beneath a low-cut leopard print shirt and tight satin pants. Low-cut doesn’t really do justice to describing the top, which is open all the way down to his navel. That familiar smirk is back, igniting a fire inside you. 

“Speaking of nicknames… Kookie?” 

Heat creeps into your face. “What? It’s cute!”

Jisoo snorts. “I guess he’s just too sweet, huh?” You resist the urge to whack her with another pillow. “You know, if you want to invite him to go out with us, I would be okay with that.”

“What happened to tonight being just the two of us?” 

She shrugs. “I’m just saying. I might want to dance tonight, and I know you’d rather stick your tongue in an electric socket than dance.” She’s right. “He’d probably dance with me, at least. And he looks like he’s going out, anyway.” 

“Ah, yeah, that’s actually his stagewear. He’s working tonight.”

“Mmm, I see.” She leans over to glance at the text again, but you tip the screen away before she can read the message he sent after the photo, not wanting to explain to her what he means by asking if you want to play with that app again tonight. “He sent you a photo the other day of his outfit for work, didn’t he? With the same chain?” 

“Yeah.”

“So is this a regular thing, then?”

“I guess?” Trailing off, you turn your attention back to your phone, careful not to scroll back too far to the pic Jungkook sent you this morning. No need to share that one with anyone else. “We text. He sends photos. Is that so surprising? I mean, I am dating the guy….”

“You ever send any back?” 

“Not yet.” It has crossed your mind, the idea of taking some photos of your own. But you’re not as comfortable in front of the lens as he is. And as long as he enjoys sending you these pictures, you’re sure as fuck not going to complain. “How am I supposed to compete with that?” You gesture to the screen.

“It’s not about competing? But also, have you seen yourself lately? You’re hot as fuck, babe. Stop selling yourself short.” She holds out her hand. “Let’s send him one right now.”

“Ji…”

She keeps her palm out, and you hand the phone over. You can always just delete it if you don’t like it. 

“Ok, tuck your legs under you more. Yeah, like that. Now arch your back a little.”

“Seriously? I’m just sending him a photo, not working on a thumbnail for a camgirl vid.”

“Do you want my help or not?”

You grouse a little more, but you do as instructed. Jisoo hums happily as she snaps a pic.

“Oh, that’s perfect.”

She tosses the phone back and you blink. You actually look kinda… hot? Quickly, you send the photo off. 

(8:27): Jisoo’s dragging me out tonight

(8:27): Save me?

“Fuck, I might need you to do a whole photoshoot, Ji. Did Tae teach you some tricks or something?” 

She wiggles her brows and you roll your eyes. 

“Forget I asked.” 

“So does Jin ever send you any pictures?”

You shake your head, rising off the bed and grabbing your drinks, heading for your kitchen. “Nope. We’ve mostly just texted about making plans. He has called me a few times.”  

“He calls you? Huh.” She snorts. “That’s surprising. You hate talking on the phone.”  

“I mean, we haven’t really talked. They’re not conversations so much as us planning our dates.” Not that you’d really paused to think about it much, but Jin hasn’t reached out to you very often. Not like Jungkook has. Of course, communication goes both ways, and you haven’t texted Jin out of the blue, either. 

But that doesn’t mean anything, really. Other than the group chat, you’re not much of a texter.

Usually. Except for the last few days. With Jungkook.

“Interesting.” Jisoo hums, and you sigh.

“Ji, enough with the questions! I thought you said the other day you were gonna let me figure this out at my own pace?” 

“Figure what out?” The head tilt you give her makes her laugh. She knows you know exactly what she’s trying to get at with all these questions. “Okay, fine, I’m sorry! I just feel like maybe you know what you want, babe. You’re just afraid to voice it.” 

Your head is starting to get that swirly sensation that drinking brings. You yearn to lean into it. “I think I’m going to need more alcohol if this is how the night is going to go.”

“That can be arranged.” She starts to pour another shot of soju, but your phone goes off, and she snatches it up instead, dodging your hands as she reads the message out loud.

Kookie 🦌 (8:29): goddamn jagi

Kookie 🦌 (8:29): if i were there you wouldn’t be leaving that bed

“I think he liked the picture,” Jisoo informs you while you chase her down the hallway, cursing your friend’s natural athleticism as she continues to sidestep you. “What should we say back - ooh, wait, what did he say now?” 

Kookie 🦌 (8:30): take that toy with you and i’ll make sure you have a good time tonight

Her eyes widen, as does her smile, and you finally manage to grab your phone back, holding up a finger to silence her before she begins. 

“Let’s get going and I’ll tell you on the way, okay?” 

“Bitch, you better!”

With one last shot of soju, the two of you head out. Jisoo orders a ride, saying it’ll be cheaper to drive out to a bar on the edge of town where she knows the bartender so you can drink for free. You’re too tipsy to question her logic, letting the alcohol carry your thoughts away, hoping your worries will go, too. 

Your driver is an older gentleman who politely ignores the two of you as you giggle in the backseat. True to your word, you fill Jisoo in on Jungkook and Lil Jackson Wang’s introduction the other night. Jisoo then regales you with a story of the time she wore a pair of vibrating panties to work, only for them to malfunction and get stuck on the highest setting while she was trapped between floors in an elevator with her boss. By the time the car stops, you’re snorting with laughter at Jisoo’s tale, too swept away in your delight to realize where you are, until you climb out of the vehicle. 

To be greeted by the bright neon lights of Paradise.

“Um. Jisoo.” You stand and stare at the building in front of you. “What are we doing here?” 

“I told you. I know the bartender here!” Jisoo’s smile is the smuggest of grins. “Come on!” 

“You know the… are you kidding me?!” You drop your voice, grabbing her arm as she tries to walk towards the door. “You were talking about Jimin?!” 

“Yes, I was talking about Jimin! Why are you whispering??”

“I don’t know!” you hiss back.

Truthfully, you don’t know. You’re caught off guard, not expecting to be here of all places. Although as well as you know your friend, you probably shouldn’t be surprised that she’d decided to bring you back here.

“Well, stop it, because it’s freaking me out.” Jisoo uses your grip on her arm to pull you towards the entrance. “I need a drink!” But she stops at the look on your face. “Uh-oh. What’s going on? Do you not want to be here?” 

No, you very much want to be here. When it comes to want, at this moment, unlike earlier, there’s no confusion clouding your mind whatsoever. You want to walk straight through that door and find him. 

The question is, should you be here? 

Will Jungkook think it’s creepy or strange to have you show up here unexpectedly? It’s not like he’s your boyfriend or anything. Is it weird to visit someone you’ve just started dating at their place of work? Especially if they work at a strip club? 

Fuck, maybe you’re overthinking things again. It’s enough to make you dizzy. Or maybe that’s the soju. Maybe you should ask the soju what it would do in this situation - go home? Or go inside? 

You’re not sure who made the decision but suddenly you’re walking, gesturing for Jisoo to follow.

“Come on, Jimin’s not going to give me any free drinks if you’re not with me.” 

The strip club is packed tonight, blue and pink lighting bathing the other customers in a vivid kaleidoscopic glow. Jisoo heads directly to the bar, propping herself against the counter. The pink-haired man behind it has his back to you, so Jisoo clears her throat until he turns around. 

“Kitten!” Jimin smiles brightly, eyes crinkling in joy. Unlike the waiters here, Jimin wears a shirt, but it’s a black mesh top that leaves very little to the imagination. Your eyes dip a little to find “Nevermind” tattooed on his side. “Just give me one second.” 

He turns his back again to finish whatever he’s concocting and you take advantage to catch Jisoo’s eye and mouth “Kitten?!” She flips you off before he turns back with a cocktail in each hand, placing them on a tray on the bartop before leaning over. 

“Did you come to visit us?” Jimin purrs, fingers lightly tracing over the back of Jisoo’s hand. “I missed you last night.” 

“Aw, poor baby. So you mean the video I sent wasn’t enough?” 

Oh, you’re so texting the group chat later. But right now, you keep your gaze fixed on a drink menu, trying to pretend like you’re not hearing every word Jimin and Jisoo exchange. They appear to have completely forgotten you’re standing there. It’d be cute if it didn’t feel like they were two seconds from fucking on the bartop.

It occurs to you that that’s not beyond the realm of possibility of things they’re already done, and you delicately remove your clutch from the counter.

“You know it wasn’t nearly enough. Not when I could - “ Jimin whispers something into Jisoo’s ear, making the corner of her mouth curl. The heated look they share lasts so long, you start to feel like you’re intruding on something, and look away. 

There’s no one on stage, a slight lull in the usual din as the crowd waits for the next act. As your friend and her bartender murmur quietly beside you, you scan the floor. There are several incredibly handsome shirtless men wandering between the tables, flirting and bringing drinks, but no familiar doe eyes to be found. 

So he’s probably giving a private dance right now. That’s cool. That’s a good thing. Make that money. Your nose scrunches. The soju’s loud.   

A dark-haired man slides up behind Jisoo, leaning over her and across the bar to grab a couple of drink umbrellas, and you hear, “Well, if it isn’t my favorite kitty cat,” before he moves towards you with a boxy grin. “And my dear friend.” 

“Hi Taehyung.” With a smile of your own, you accept the hug he gives you. 

“Hi angel. Have you come to see Jungkook?” Taehyung’s deep voice rumbles in your ear as he reaches past you to grab the tray of drinks. You try your best to keep your gaze from wandering too low, but it’s difficult when he’s standing next to you in naught but a tight pair of black leather pants and a smile. You do get a good eyeful of his toned stomach before you divert your gaze.

“She’s here because I promised her free drinks,” Jisoo answers. You catch a slight twitch of Jimin’s eyebrow at the word ‘free.’ “But if Jungkook happens to be around, I’m sure she won’t mind. Right, babe?”

Three pairs of eyes lock onto you. You feel like diving over the bar and hiding, for some reason. 

“I mean, if he’s available…” you trail off lamely. Very smooth.

Taehyung surveys the crowd. “He’s out there somewhere. I’ll find him for you.” He flashes that brilliant smile again. “I know he’ll be happy to hear you’re here.” 

“Thanks, Taehyung.” He nods and disappears into the throngs of drunken revelers starting to come alive again as another dancer takes the stage. The volume in the room suddenly doubles as people start shouting and throwing money, and you crane your neck until you can make out the figure on stage, spotting blond hair. Not him. With a sigh, you turn back to the bar. 

“So, free drinks, huh?” Jimin inquires, smirking at Jisoo. 

“Just a line to get her out of her apartment.” You’d protest, but there’s no point. Jisoo and Jimin are in their own world as she skims her fingers up his forearm. “You know I’ll pay. I wouldn’t deny you what you’ve earned.” 

Another heated look. You can’t wait to torment her about this later. But right now, you’d like a cocktail and to sit down for a minute, so you bump her with your shoulder.

“Ok, kitten, can we please get our drinks now? I can’t stand in these heels all night.” 

With your cocktail in hand - an Adios Motherfucker because they were strong as fuck the last time you were here - you spy a couple of customers vacating a table not far from the stage and claim the spot for yourselves. The rest of the crowd is busy cheering on the very cute blond man working it out on stage. His hypnotic hips have whipped the other patrons into a frenzy, and you and Jisoo happily join in. 

“Yes, baby, take it off!” As he tears away his shirt and pants, Jisoo reaches into her clutch and pulls out some cash, tossing it in the direction of the stage. You watch her make it rain with an incredulous expression.

“Let’s give it up for Bang Chan!” the DJ booms, and the man on stage takes a bow before running off. The spotlights dim, the lights in the room coming back up, as the stage is cleaned for the next performance. 

“Came prepared, huh?” Snatching one of the bills from where it fell on the table, you wave it in front of Jisoo’s face. “Be honest - were you planning on bringing me here all along?”

Your friend is the picture of perfect nonchalance as she shrugs, sipping on her whisky. “I just thought we could have some fun here tonight. It wasn’t something I’d considered when we made plans earlier this week. Just a spur of the moment decision.” 

“But the cash?” Who carries cash anymore?

“Maybe I’ve started keeping some bills on me.” Her shoulders are up around her ears. “Just in case!” 

“Just in case…” You trail off as you remember something she’d said in the group chat a while ago, about Paradise being a great place to take a date. Of course. She’s probably been here with one of her boys. Or both. Perhaps she comes alone, to watch them work.

That seems supportive, in a weird way. Or maybe it’s not weird. Maybe you just think it’s weird because now you’re wondering if you should be doing that. 

Before you can fall any further down that thought spiral, Taehyung appears at your table. He places two drinks on the table, even though you haven’t ordered more yet, before he brushes his hand down Jisoo’s arm. “Are you ladies having a good time?” 

“Of course we are.” Jisoo smiles up at the handsome man, letting her fingers glide lightly over his. 

“That’s what I like to hear. But I’m afraid I have some bad news, angel.” You cock your head curiously as Taehyung gives you an apologetic smile. “Jungkook’s a little tied up tonight. He and a couple of the other dancers have been booked for some private parties.” He leans a little closer. “He was very disappointed that he couldn’t come out here and say hello himself.” 

“Oh.” And just like that, your heart sinks, nearly knocking you breathless with how unexpectedly fast it dives. Well, of course he’s busy. Who wouldn’t want a dance from him? Or a whole evening of dances, apparently, if he’s been requested for a private party. Multiple parties, actually, if you heard Taehyung right.

There’s a tiny voice whispering in your head right now, filling your mind with all the possibilities of what’s happening in that room. The way he’s probably grinding up on someone, watching them with darkened eyes, teasing them with his moves. You try to shut the flood of images out but can’t. 

Your gut twists sharply. 

Oh god, you’re jealous, aren’t you? This is so stupid! It’s literally his job to do those things, to entice and seduce, and you know this, yet if you think about it another second longer, you might burst.

“Aw, I’m sorry, babe.” Your face must telegraph your dismay, because Jisoo finds your hand under the table and gives it a little squeeze. 

Taehyung nods, warm hand patting your shoulder reassuringly. “Don’t worry, even though Jungkook can’t see you right now, he’s still going to make sure you enjoy yourself.” With one last gentle touch, he winks at you both before sauntering away. 

“You gonna be okay?” 

Nodding, you drain the last of your drink and reach for the fresh cocktail. “I’ll be fine. I mean, of course he’s busy, right? He’s at work. It was nice of him to send us some drinks, at least.” 

“Very sweet of him,” Jisoo agrees. “I’m still sorry, though. I just thought from all those messages from Jungkook earlier that he might like it if you stopped by here to see him. And vice versa.

Obviously, I didn’t count on him being so in demand.” She shakes her head, swirling the ice in her glass. “That was pretty dumb of me in retrospect.”

“Aw, Ji! Stop it.” 

She ignores you, rambling on. “I thought we’d have a few drinks, watch a few dances, you’d go sit on your neighbor’s face in one of the champagne rooms. You know, have ourselves a killer night. But now it’s just the two of us.” 

“Ji, that’s all I wanted earlier!”

“To sit on Jungkook’s gorgeous mug? I know.” 

Smacking her arm lightly, you shake your head. “Fuck off, you know what I mean. I thought tonight was going to be just the two of us anyway. So don’t apologize.” 

“All right, are we ready for more?” The speakers overhead suddenly buzz as the DJ addresses the crowd. 

The room practically vibrates with anticipation as the lights go down again and the other spectators around you shout their response to the mc’s question. Okay. Sure. You’re sad that you can’t see Jungkook right now (don’t think about what he’s doing, don’t think about it), but that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun, right? Just let it all go, all the thoughts and questions and worries, sit back, and enjoy the show. 

“Well, it sounds like you’re ready, but I don’t know…” the DJ playfully responds, and the crowd whoops louder. “I’m not sure if any of you are ready for this next double act! Coming to the stage now, please welcome Hoseok and Joon!” 

The platinum blond and the blue-haired man bound onto the stage, dressed identically in tight white buttoned-down shirts and even tighter black pants. Instead of heading towards the chairs that have been set up facing each other in the middle, they roam the edge of the stage, pointing into the fray. 

“We’re going to need a few volunteers for this one. Is there anyone out there who’d like to help these two out?” From the audience’s enthusiastic reaction, you’d say that yes, there are a few people who would like to help. Just a couple.

Clapping your hands in glee, you grab your clutch, ready to fire off a text to Rosé, knowing she’s going to lose her mind when she finds out you’re about to watch Namjoon dance. But before you can dig out your phone, Taehyung reappears, placing a hand on both you and Jisoo’s backs. 

“Ladies, your assistance has been requested. If you’ll please follow me?” 

“What?” Eyes widening, you glance up at Taehyung, who smirks, prying your clutch from your grip and placing it on the table. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll watch your things. Just come this way, please.” 

Jisoo gives Taehyung a questioning look and he bows his head to whisper in her ear. She grins and rises. “Come on, babe!”

Taehyung offers you his hand and you take it, feeling confused. Neither you nor Jisoo had jumped up, trying to get the men on stage to pick you. As Taehyung pulls you to your feet, he dips his head to speak into your ear, to be heard over the yelling of the crowd. “I told you Jungkook was going to take care of you.” 

Oh, shit. This is what he meant? 

Well, all right. Why the fuck not? The first Adios Motherfucker has joined the soju spiraling through your system. At the moment, you feel pretty fucking good. Why not indulge in a lap dance?

Taehyung stops at the bottom of the stairs and helps you climb onto the stage until Namjoon steps forward, sliding your hand out of Taehyung’s and covering it with his own. “Hi, love,” he rumbles, leading you over to one of the chairs. “You ready to help me show this crowd a good time?”

“Absolutely!” 

He laughs at your effusive response, motioning for you to take a seat. Instead of helping Jisoo onto the other chair, Hoseok sits, then pats his lap. Jisoo doesn’t hesitate, looping an arm around his neck as she perches on his thighs. They both look over at where you and Namjoon are as the music begins to play. 

“Grind With Me” by Pretty Ricky thumps through the soundsystem as Namjoon drops to one knee. He’s still clutching your hand, lowering his plush lips to the back of it to gently kiss your knuckles. Then he glances up at you with a mischievous look, one of his dimples popping as he suddenly leans forward, burying his face in your lap. 

You hear Jisoo hooting gleefully above the rest of the crowd as you cover your mouth with your hands. Hesitantly, you reach out for him, but he slides away, rising off his knees. He dances around the chair, trailing his hands along your shoulders behind you, before he appears in front of you again. With another smirk, he unbuttons the cuffs of his shirt, rolling the sleeves up as he dances, slowly exposing his forearms. LIke he’s about to get down to business. 

And then he straddles you, rolling his hips, and you realize with embarrassment that the loud “Oh shit!” you just heard came from your own mouth. Namjoon winks down at you, grabbing your hands and placing them on his thighs. They’re huge. Like tree trunks, except you’ve never felt a tree flex like that as Namjoon moves. Did Rosé get her hands on them last night? She’s going to completely combust when you tell her about this tomorrow. 

Namjoon body rolls himself backwards a few feet, reaching for the collar of his shirt. Rather than unbutton it, he simply tears it off, and both you and Jisoo shout as he tosses the ripped material into the crowd. He dances around you again, toying with the howling audience, throwing out flying kisses and winks, before he places both hands on the back of the chair. 

“Come on, love, on your feet.” Again, he takes your hands, urging you to stand. Then he sits, pulling you into his lap. You rest your shoulder against his broad chest, and the spotlight shifts to Jisoo and Hoseok. 

“By the way, thank you for setting me up with Rosé,” Namjoon murmurs into your ear as you watch Jisoo and Hoseok switch places, your friend settling herself comfortably on the other chair. 

You give Namjoon’s shoulder a friendly squeeze as you nod. You’re about to ask him if he had a good time on their date last night when Hoseok tears off his shirt, whipping it over his head and directly into the audience. He spins around, coming up behind Jisoo’s chair, and you scream with laughter at the surprised expression on her face when he grabs her arms from behind, tugging on her wrists and guiding her to raise them over her head. Then he presses her hands to his chest, sliding them down the rippling muscles of his torso. 

“Oh my god!” Jisoo shrieks as Hoseok whirls around the chair again, thighs astride hers. You’re dying, watching her reaction. Jisoo’s the queen of the poker face, but right now, there are a million micro-expressions flitting rapidly across her face as Hoseok takes her hands and puts them directly on his ass. He grinds himself into her lap, hips bucking as she grasps him through his skintight pants, and you know your other friends are going to be absolutely devastated that they’re missing this. 

You’ve honestly forgotten that you’re part of this routine too, just having a hell of a time laughing at your friend, when Namjoon gives you a gentle nudge. “Okay, love, let’s switch.” 

Once you’re back in the chair, Namjoon and Hoseok glide towards the center space. In unison, they launch into a series of sharp b-boy moves, popping, locking, and dipping down towards the floor. Your voice starts to crack as you cheer for them, catching Jisoo’s eye. She blows you a kiss, and you send one back, feeling nearly euphoric with joy. 

But the routine isn’t done. The two men high five as they return to your sides. Still in unison, they both dolphin kick, pushing themselves off the floor with devious grins. Then they slide on their knees over to each of you, grabbing the sides of the chairs and shimmying their way up your bodies. Namjoon takes your hand and runs it through his hair and down his chest, and Hoseok does the same over his shoulder with Jisoo. 

The look Namjoon gives you makes you giggle helplessly. It’s too hot, and you glance away, into the crowd - 

- to find a pair of dark eyes gazing at you fiercely. 

There’s a wild stutter in your chest as you realize that Jungkook is standing by your table, intently watching the performance. Is he done with the private party? Parties?

Namjoon suddenly places his hands on your thighs, lowering his head towards your lap again, and the shift draws your attention back to him. His hair tickles your bare legs and you shiver, giggling, looking back at Jungkook again, automatically seeking him out.  

You expect to find him laughing at you. Maybe flashing that sweet bunny smile, nose scrunching in pure bliss at your reactions to Namjoon’s movements. But the expression you spy on his face knocks the wind from you instead. Eyes narrowed under a furrowed brow, mouth drawn in a thin line, jaw firmly clenched.

What the hell?? Is he mad? Or wait. He couldn't possibly be… jealous? 

That makes no sense. As dumb as it was for you to get jealous earlier, it’s even stupider to think it’s also happening to him. After all, this was his idea! And even if it wasn’t, he knows this is all an act!

So why do you feel like his gaze is burning through you right now? 

And why do you like it?

Instinctively, your thighs twitch, and you attempt to close your legs, but Namjoon holds them apart. “Keep these open for me,” you hear him say before he rises to his feet again and takes a step to your left. Before you can react to his strange instruction, you gasp as he launches himself into a headstand, the top of his head coming to rest on the chair. 

Directly in between your legs.

There’s no more thinking about Jungkook, there’s only you screaming as Namjoon thrusts his crotch right into your face. How the fuck is he holding himself up like that? Just gripping the sides of the chair, veins in his forearms popping as his body undulates smoothly. The crowd around you has totally lost their minds, a hurricane of money flying into the air, fluttering in the lights illuminating the two men grinding upside-down over you and Jisoo. 

Both men hurtle themselves out of their headstands, deftly landing on their feet before they turn back. Then Namjoon straddles you again, body undulating in time with the heavy beat, and you find Jungkook in the crowd again. 

His expression hasn’t changed. Still so sharp. So intense. 

A wicked idea comes over you. Maybe it’s time the teaser becomes the teased. 

Slipping your hands around Namjoon’s waist, you urge him closer, tilting your head up to peer into his face, biting your lip as you do. He plays along, fingers pressing into yours, leading you to grab as much of his round ass as you can. “That’s it, love, help yourself,” he grins, making you toss your head back in unbridled laughter as he continues to wind. 

But you don’t get a chance to see if Jungkook saw your reaction before Namjoon lifts you out of your seat, large hands cupping your thighs as he carries you to the edge of the stage. At this point, the only words you can say are “Oh my god,” which might explain why you’re chanting them over and over. 

He lays you on your back, and you turn your head to see Jisoo lying next to you. She’s laughing hysterically as both men simulate fucking you, hips grinding into yours. Namjoon lifts your legs into the air, making your ass bounce with the power of his thrusts, and suddenly it’s Jungkook in your mind, the night of your date, when he’d danced for you. Tipping your head back, you look towards your table again, but from your upside-down point of view, Jungkook’s nowhere to be found. 

The music ends and the room erupts into chaos again, more cash pouring onto the stage as Namjoon helps you to your feet. He gives you a big hug, sweeping you into his strong embrace, and you hug him back, a little loopy from all the thrusting. Jisoo slips her arm through yours as you make your way back to your seats, where Taehyung is waiting with a knowing smile. 

“Enjoy yourself, kitten?” 

You don’t catch her response, scanning the crowd. Where did Jungkook go? There’s no sign of him anywhere. Did he run out of the room? After giving Jisoo and Taehyung a minute, you clear your throat.

“I thought I saw Jungkook a second ago. Was he out here?” 

“He came out for a minute to grab a few bottles of champagne for the next party,” Taehyung replies. Of course. He wasn’t done. He only had a second to watch before he had to get back. Totally explains why he didn’t wait. 

Makes more sense than him being so jealous, he couldn’t watch any more. 

But that look on his face….

“Water. I need water. Can you grab us a few glasses, Tae?” Jisoo flashes Taehyung a sweet smile and he nods, heading for the bar. She leans across the table and grabs your hand. “Okay, so, that happened.” 

Despite the disappointment you feel yet again that Jungkook’s not around, you can’t stop giggling about what you’ve just experienced. It hits you that this is probably the routine Jungkook told you about earlier, the one he was helping Hoseok and Namjoon to perfect. If it is, he did a fucking bang-up job. 

“Is my head supposed to spin after a lap dance? Because it is!” 

“That just means they did it right.” Jisoo’s not a giggler, but she collapses onto her arms on the table, and you feel another bout of delirious laughter bubbling up inside you. “Holy shit, I thought Hoseok was going to hump me right off the stage!”

“I know! Fuck. If Namjoon’s stroke game is anything like his dancing, Rosé’s in for the ride of her life!” 

“You’re definitely going to have to give Jungkook my thanks for that one,” Jisoo smirks. “Probably should thank him twice, actually, once for the both of us.” 

“I mean, I guess,” you sigh dramatically. “If I must.” 

The two of you cackle as Taehyung returns with two waters and two more cocktails. As you recover from your lap dance, downing more drinks, that euphoric feeling comes over you again. Thank god Jisoo dragged you out of your apartment tonight. You’re having the time of your life right now, swaying in your seat to the bass pounding through the club. 

Eventually all the drinks you imbibe have you in search of the ladies room. Stumbling down a dimly-lit hallway, you realize you must’ve made a wrong turn somewhere, because you can’t find any doors. It’s nothing but purple velvet curtains lining the walls around you. 

More than a little drunk, you trip over your own two feet and grab at the drapery to stop yourself from falling. The heavy material slides aside and reveals a door behind it. It takes you a few seconds to realize that you’re looking at one of the club’s private rooms. They must all be hidden behind these curtains. You’re definitely not in the right hallway. 

Jungkook's behind one of these doors right now. Part of you wants to open them all up, poke your head in each one until you find him. Maybe it’s a big party he’s entertaining. Maybe no one would notice if you slipped in. 

Oh, but you don’t want to sit in a room full of people and watch him dance. You want him to dance for you. Just you, and no one else. A private performance. 

Well, you’re here. Why not ask for one? You just gotta find him first. Wait, what were you looking for again? Maybe that third drink was a mistake. Fourth drink? Shit. You need to pee. Better find the bathroom. 

Turning to retrace your steps, you run into a wall. No, not a wall. A man. 

“Jungkook!” you yelp, wobbling on your heels. Before you can tip ass over teakettle, he grabs you by the waist, pushing you up against one of the curtains, the velvet softly nuzzling your legs as his arms come to rest on either side of your head. You let your hands curl into the silk of his leopard-print top, helping to steady yourself.

“What are you doing back here, jagi?” 

You hear his question clearly, but it takes you a minute to answer because you’re too busy admiring him. God, he’s so beautiful. The ends of his hair are damp, hanging in his face as he towers over you. There’s a bit of kohl liner smeared around his eyes, giving him a smoky look that takes him from gorgeous to out-of-this-world. And then there’s your little friend, that cute lil mole, decorating his pretty pink lips. 

“Trying to find the bathroom,” you finally respond, giggling. “I think I’m lost.” 

He merely nods, dark eyes wandering over your figure. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming here tonight?” His left hand drops to your leg, rubbing the hem of your skirt between his long fingers.

“Didn’t know. Ji-Jisoo brought me here as a surprise.” You hiccup slightly, extending a finger to tap lightly on the lil mole. 

“Oh. So you didn’t dress up for me, then?” There’s a hint of a sullen tone to his voice that makes your chest ache. You wish you had. You want to dress up for him. Just for him and him alone.

A shiver rolls through you as his fingers leave your skirt, skimming up the bare skin beneath. It’s either the Adios Motherfuckers ganging up on you or it's his touch that makes you blurt out, “Is your party over yet?” The chain of his body harness dangles over his chest, and you reach out, lightly grasping the metal links, winding them around your fingers. “I want a dance.” 

“Oh yeah?” The silver piercings over his eye shift as he arches his brow. “You didn’t get enough on stage? Seemed to me like Namjoon-hyung was giving you more than you can handle. Although you were sure trying.” 

More than you could handle? He has no idea how much you can handle. 

“Is that so?” 

Shit. You must’ve said that out loud.

“Yes. You did.” Jungkook chuckles as you stare at him, wide-eyed. “How drunk are you, jagi?” 

“Dunno. A little.” Tugging on the body chain, you grin as Jungkook is drawn closer to you. The scent of his cologne curls around you, like an ocean breeze. The look on his face reminds you of his expression during your lap dance, and you sigh as you peer at him through lowered lashes. “You wanna know what I think?”  

“What’s that?” His hand resumes its path, traveling around the outside of your thigh.

“I think you’re jealous.” 

The hand stops. Jungkook exhales a laugh through his nose. “Jealous? Of what?”

“Of the lap dance. Of the way Joon was dancing on me. With me. To me?” What’s the right way to say that? 

Actually, should you be saying any of this right now? It feels like you’re talking a lot. 

“Joon?” The hand that was on your thigh is now gripping your hip. If anyone walked by and saw him with his hand this far up your dress, it probably wouldn’t be good for him. But he doesn’t seem concerned, so you figure you shouldn’t be either and say nothing. 

“Namjoon. Whatever.” Flapping your free hand in the air, you go on. “Irregardless. The point is, you’re jealous. And it’s stupid.” 

Even though you’re the one sloshingly full of alcohol right now, it seems like he’s the one struggling to keep up, based on the way he keeps repeating your words. 

“It’s stupid.” 

“Yes, it’s stupid! Like me. Like, I was stupid earlier, because I was jealous! I couldn’t stop thinking about you being back here, dancing and smiling and flirting and - and I didn’t like it.” Pouting, you drop your gaze to the body chain again, watching the light reflect off the links as you twist them around. “And then I realized it’s stupid because it’s your job and it doesn’t mean anything. And it’s the same with Namjoon. He was just doing what he does. It didn’t mean anything. It doesn’t matter if he dances for me, or if Hoseok does, or Taehyung. None of it matters. Because at the end of the day, the only one I want is you, Kookie.”

Wow, that was a lot. The words just sorta wouldn’t stop, just pouring out of you without any thought. Like they’ve been floating around in there for a while now, waiting to be said. 

Maybe you’ve said too much, given how silent Jungkook is in the wake of your babbling. Not that you really notice. You’re hypnotized by the movement of his chest underneath your fingers. His breathing seems to have sped up a little at your speech. Rise, fall. Rise, fall. 

“Jagiya.” His voice is husky when he finally speaks. “Just me?” 

You nod, mesmerized by the way the harness glitters as you twirl it. “Just you.” 

He’s quiet again for a moment before he sighs. “I wish I could dance for you tonight. But I’m not free yet. There’s another party coming in.” 

“Fuck. You’re super popular, huh? You stay booked.” Humming, you tug on the chain again. “So when do the parties end?” 

“Late.” Gently, he covers your hand with his own, untangling your fingers from his harness. Your lip puffs out further, a wordless whimper sounding from your chest. You don’t want to let go, you want to pull him into one of these rooms and ride him like - like - 

“Like what?” Jungkook smirks, fingers slipping under your chin to raise your head. “Ride me like what?” 

“Wow, okay, I think I might be more than a little drunk,” you confess, staring into his eyes again. In the low lighting of the hallway, they seem to sparkle. 

“Yes, you are.” He traces your cheek with a tatted knuckle, and you nuzzle into his touch, leaning forward with pursed lips, but instead of kissing you, he tucks your arm into his and guides you off the wall. “Come on, jagi. Let’s get you back to Jisoo.” 

“Noooo, Kookie, I want a dance!” But the haze of lust is burning off, replaced by the nagging pressure of your bladder, and you let Jungkook lead you back to your table, where your friend cracks up before rising to her feet. 

“Oh, babe, you’re a mess. Let’s find the bathroom together. Thank you, Jungkook, I’ve got her from here.” 

Jungkook nods. His hand rests on the small of your back for a minute before it falls away. “Make sure you drink some more water, okay, jagi?” he murmurs to you. Then he nods at Jisoo again. “Enjoy the rest of your night, ladies.” 

And then Jisoo is dragging you away, but when you glance back, you find him still standing there, surrounded by cheering patrons and flashing lights, eyes focused only on you.

You can’t sleep. 

It’s been an hour since you and Jisoo left Paradise. After Jungkook escorted you away from the private rooms, Jisoo decided you’d had enough fun for one evening. She made you drink a glass of water, brought you home, made you drink another glass, then tucked you into bed. You’d offered her your couch for the night, to save her the trek home, but she’d waved you off. 

“No need, I have a key to Min’s place.” And with one final exasperated “Stop giving me that look!” she left.

And now you can’t sleep. 

It doesn’t help that every time you close your eyes, you picture Jungkook’s intense stare. The end of the night is a bit of a blur. You remember running into him in the hallway, remember him having his hands on you, remember wanting to jump him then and there, but everything else about your encounter has washed away with the alcohol. But that look on his face from when he watched your lap dance burns just as brightly in your memory now as it did at the club. 

It’s keeping you awake. It makes no sense. Between the long day and all the drinking, you should be exhausted. Not fired up. Ready to ignite. 

Why can’t you get that look out of your head? It’s the smirk all over again.

Goddamn it, go to sleep.

…

Well, yelling at yourself isn’t working, so you kick off your sheets with an angry grunt and shuffle towards your living room, yanking Jungkook’s hoodie over your thin satin camisole and shorts as you go. You don’t bother to turn on any lights. Maybe scrolling endlessly through your streaming queue for a while will lull you into slumber. It works most nights. 

Naturally, it’s not working now.

Tonight, no matter how long you flip aimlessly through the options, there’s no tricking yourself into sleep. Eventually, you pick something old to watch, an romcom so treasured that you can recite the lines along with the actors. It’s so easy to lose yourself in a silly story like this, one where it’s completely inevitable that the leads are going to get together but you fall into it anyway. 

As the credits roll, you pick up your phone. Put it down. Pick it up. Unlock it. Lock it. Put it down. 

Inhaling deeply, you breathe in the scent of the ocean. A trace of Jungkook’s cologne lingers in the hoodie. 

You pick up your phone, unlock it, open your texts, and fire off five words.

(2:14): Are you still at work?

A quiet creeps over the room again, a stillness matched by the static image of the movie on the screen, asking if you want to watch again or return to your queue. But despite the calm hush, you’re on edge, fingers tapping, pulse racing while you wait for a reply. 

Will he respond? Maybe he already left. He’s probably hungry, might have gone to grab some food. Maybe he’s hanging out with the other dancers.

Maybe he left with someone el-

Bzzt! Bzzt!

Kookie 🦌 (2:16): shift’s over. having a drink with hoseok

Kookie 🦌 (2:16): you’re still up?

(2:17): Yeah

(2:17): Can’t sleep

Kookie 🦌 (2:18): need some help?

Kookie 🦌 (2:18): been waiting to play with that app again

No. No toys tonight. You want him. 

(2:18): Kookie

(2:19): Come over

His reply is immediate.

Kookie 🦌 (2:19): on my way jagi

As if he were currently just down the hall and not all the way across town, you jump up off the couch, running into the bathroom, pleased to find that you don’t look like a total wreck after the evening you’ve had. You brush your teeth again, then dash into your bedroom, rummaging through the bedside table until you find the box of condoms stashed in there, making sure they’re close at hand.

Halfway down the hall, you turn around, go back to the box, and stuff one in the pocket of your shorts. Just in case.

You know it’ll take him some time to get here. But you’re too keyed up to wait on the couch. So you pace instead. There’s a clap of thunder in the distance. As you roam your apartment restlessly, it starts to pour, heavy drops rapping loudly against the window in the kitchen. Tiny rivulets of water run together, forming large streams that snake their way down the glass while you watch, trying hopelessly to distract yourself again. 

It doesn’t work, and when the knock comes, you’re already waiting by the door.

Even without the flash of lightning that lights your apartment, there’s a charge in the air as you and Jungkook stare at each other. His dark hair is damp, ends clinging to his face, and his clothes drip on the hallway floor. He must’ve gotten caught in the storm on his way out of Paradise. Maybe he rode his bike in the rain again. You hope he was careful, but you get the feeling he rushed over here as quickly as he could. 

“Hey,” he murmurs, voice rumbly and deep.

‘Hi,” you reply softly, fiddling with the knob as you lean against the door, suddenly incredibly conscious of your hands, not knowing what to do with them. You want to bury them in his hair, but you’re frozen under his gaze, waiting to see what he’s going to do. 

“How’re you feeling?” he asks, eyebrow lifting in curiosity. “Are you still drunk?” 

You shake your head. Stone cold sober now. Nothing but anticipation flowing through your veins, though you find that’s almost as heady as alcohol. “No.”

“Good,” he sighs, sounding relieved, and then he’s on you.

One of his hands slides around your back while the other cups your chin, and then his mouth finds yours, hungry and desperate. He nibbles at your bottom lip, teeth sinking into the plump flesh, then sucks it, tongue brushing away the sting. Keening, you hold him as closely as you can, hands wandering over the broad planes of his chest, clutching at the soaking material that covers him. He’s so warm. Or maybe that’s you, aflame for him. 

“Jagi,” he hums, leaving a trail of kisses along your cheek, “Can I come in?”

“God, yes, come in.” Curling your fingers into his hoodie, you walk backwards, pulling him into your apartment. His greedy mouth follows quickly, whining impatiently until he’s across the threshold and the door is shut behind him and then he’s on you again, kissing you fast and hot and breathless.

You keep shuffling backwards, leading him down the hallway to your bedroom, but it’s slow going, because you don’t for one second want to part from his mouth. Jungkook clearly feels the same sense of frustration you do, because his hands slip beneath your thighs to hoist you into the air. Gasping, you lock your legs around his waist, digging your fingers into his shoulders to hold on tight as he suddenly turns, pressing your back into the wall. 

“Do you feel that?” He rolls his hips up into your spread legs, and you moan, feeling him rubbing against you. He’s rock hard. “Been like this ever since you texted.”

His mouth latches onto your neck as he ruts against you again. With you pinned to the wall by his torso and hips, his hands are free to roam, and they paw at your sweatshirt, searching for the soft skin underneath.

“Too many clothes,” he mutters, and then he’s tugging his sweatshirt off of you, dragging your tank top with it. He tosses the offending items to the floor. The vent overhead blows cold air across your skin, making your nipples pebble as Jungkook’s hot hands grope your bare breasts. 

“You too,” you pout, grabbing a fistful of his hoodie and trying in vain to peel it off of him, but he refuses to let go of your chest long enough to raise his arms. “Jungkook! Take it off!” 

He just grunts into your collarbones as he kisses his way across. Undaunted, you keep tugging  until he mutters, “Aish, okay!” and reaches behind his head to pull the sweatshirt off in one swift motion. He barely jostles you, keeping you pressed to the wall with ease, and you marvel at his skills. Probably more tricks learned at Paradise.

Warm metal brushes against your chest. Fuck. He’s still wearing the body chain.

“Better?” he huffs. You nod, running your hands over his soft skin. Your fingertips brush over one of his nipples, and he whines, a high-pitched noise that makes you clench involuntarily. God, you want him so bad.

He grinds into you again, swallowing your gasp with his kiss. His tattooed hand grips your knee, slips up your thigh, and under your shorts, fingers not stopping until they find exactly what they’re looking for.

“Jagi,” he hisses, dropping his head to your shoulder. “So wet. Always so wet for me.”

“Always,” you moan as your lips brush over his ear. He shudders, sliding his finger along your slit. Applying just the right amount of pressure to make you buck slightly, urging him inside. “Please, Kookie.” 

He groans, pushing one long finger into your folds.  “You drove me fucking crazy tonight. Sending me that photo. Wandering around Paradise in that little dress. Just wanted to pull you into one of those rooms.” His finger strokes your tight inner walls. “Touch you. Taste you. Let you ride me like you said you wanted.” 

A second finger enters, joins the first in rubbing away. Meanwhile, his thumb circles around your clit before flicking over the sensitive nub. Your head kicks back against the wall as a jolt shoots through you. Struck by lightning. His husky laugh is the peal of thunder in its wake.  

“Next time, jagi,” he continues, “next time, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. Take you in a room and make you fall apart.”

His fingers start to pump, and oh, he feels like heaven, fucking you open with a fervid urgency. Like he’s just as impatient as you are, just as eager to bury himself inside you as soon as he can. As soon as you’re ready for him.

“J-Jungkook,” you stutter, nails digging into his arms as you cling blindly to him. “More. Please.” 

“You want more?” He licks his lips, tongue pulling the kiss-swollen bottom between his teeth as he adds a third finger. “I’ll give you everything. Whatever you want.”

The two of you are panting, filling the air with hot exhalations and grunts, mixing with the lewd squelching between your legs to create an obscene cacophony. As talented as his hand is, it’s not enough, just has you losing your mind with desire for more of him. For all of him. 

Your words come out a broken mewl. “Want you, Kookie, just you. Please!”

“Ah, jagi, don’t say shit like that unless you want me to fuck you right here, just like this,” he groans, eyes closing. 

“Kookie.” Groaning his name, you grasp his chin to tilt his head until your gazes meet. “In my-my right pocket.” 

He glances at you questioningly, but as his left hand slips into the silky material, his expression shifts, eyebrow rising as he hums. He pulls out the condom and his right hand withdraws. Your feet hit the ground. “Shit, that’s what you want, huh? Right here? Now?” 

“Fuck yes, please!”

In an instant, his joggers are around his ankles, your shorts are on the floor, and the empty condom packet flutters to the ground. You watch as he sheathes himself, hurriedly rolling the thin rubber over his already leaking cock. He grabs your thighs, picking you up again, pushing you up the wall until you can feel his tip rubbing through your dripping folds. 

His hand reaches between you and grabs yours, guiding you to grab the silver links that dangle down his chest. Immediately, you loop the body chain around your fingers.

“Hold on, jagi,” he murmurs as his face hovers close to yours. His lips quirk into that familiar smirk. You bite your lip, waiting. 

And then he slides into you, burying himself to the hilt. 

“Fuck.” Your shaky moan elongates the word, turning it into an entire sentence. An entire song. Jungkook slowly draws back and then thrusts in again, prompting another moan. Another melody. He does it again, and again, building up to a steady pace, making you bounce. “Oh, fuck, Jungkook!”

“That’s it, jagi. I wanna hear you.” His hands squeeze your thighs, kneading the flesh as he pins you to the wall with his pistoning hips. “Those moans sound so much better without that fucking wall in the way.” 

“Hnnngh,” comes your response. Your free hand roams over his shoulders to lock into the damp hair at the nape of his neck. “Fuck!”

White-hot pleasure roils in your gut. That fierce look is back on Jungkook’s face, sweat starting to drip from his brow. His stamina is insane. The fact that he’s holding you up like this while pounding into you like a wild beast rutting away… well, it would blow your mind, but his powerful strokes are already doing that. 

“You feel so good, baby, shit,” he growls through gritted teeth, dark eyes staring at where he disappears into your welcoming heat over and over. “Such a tight little pussy. Wanna fill it up. Leave you dripping with me.” 

“God, fuck, Kookie, your mouth.” Dirty talk drives you crazy, and this man does it so well. Of course he does. He lives to tease you, to wind you up in every way he can. “So filthy.” 

The sound of him fucking into you is just as filthy, between the wet slap of his thighs hitting your ass, and the needy exclamations dropping from your lips. These only increase as he tilts his hips just right, curved cock hitting your g-spot. 

“Jungkook!” you gasp, feet flexing, legs starting to tense around him. Reading your reaction, he does it again, and shit, you might actually come just from his cock. 

“Can’t help it.” His sweat drips onto your chest, rolling down the valley between your breasts. His right hand comes up to wipe it away before he rubs his thumb over your lips. “Need to tell you how you make me feel. Tell you how fuckin’ good you’re taking me.” 

He presses the tip of his finger into your parted mouth, and you obediently suck him in. He groans lowly as your tongue swirls around his thumb a few times before he pulls it back out. It disappears between you, to land on your throbbing clit.

”What about you, jagi? How ’m I making you feel?” He thrusts hard, bouncing you further up the wall, and your eyes roll back in your head. Light reflects off the gleaming body chain with every rebound. You haven’t let go for a second. “You like this? Me holding you like this, making you just fucking take it?”

“Fuck, yes, Kookie, so good!” The fervor with which he fondles your clit is nothing short of relentless. You’re burning up, ready to burst into flames. “Ah, ah, give it to me!” 

No one’s ever fucked you like this before. His movements are so raw, so primal. That feeling from earlier is back - the sense of urgency. Of need. And you feel it too, this untamed desire, surging through your veins, setting every inch of you on fire. All you can do is hold on to him, fingers gripping sweat-soaked skin and metal, lips seeking his again and again. You’re pinned to the wall, completely at his mercy, and all you want is more. 

“Come on, jagiya, I wanna feel you,” he wheedles, whining sweetly. “Come on this cock for me. Show me how much this pretty pussy likes this.” 

His chin tilts up, mouth capturing yours in a sloppy kiss, all tongue. Saliva coats your lips, spills down your chin. Between the sweat, the spit, and your arousal, you’re a sopping mess. You don’t give a single goddamn. All you care about is him. 

“Ahh!” With a wordless wail, your climax arrives. Cunt clamping as your clit twitches, pleasure racing through your body with every beat of your madly thumping heart. Jungkook snarls as your walls grip him tighter, but he doesn’t stop, still pumping away as you ride out your release.

“Jungkook,” you gasp when your lungs finally refill with air. “Come on, fill me up, Kookie. I want it.” 

He whines, kissing you frantically. When his tongue traces the inside of your mouth, you massage it with yours before sucking so hard your cheeks hollow. His body tenses, and with one, two, three hard pumps, he spills into the condom, cock twitching as he breaks the kiss to moan your name. 

Heavy breathing fills the hallway as his hips finally still. He drops his forehead against yours as yours for a few seconds, and then he relaxes his hold on your thigh, helping you ease your legs down until you’re standing on your own. Well, your feet are technically on the floor, at least, but the wall is doing all the work as you lean against it, knees a bit wobbly. 

You already miss the feeling of him inside you.

Jungkook seems to be catching his breath already, and you marvel again at his endurance. If that vigorous fucking didn’t exhaust him, then what exactly would it take to tire him out? 

That’s a thought for another night, when your legs don’t feel like they’re about to collapse.

“Jesus fuck,” you declare loudly.

Jungkook’s eyes crinkle as he laughs. “Is that a happy curse, or…”

“Yes. It’s happy. I’m happy.” You beam at him, wiping sweat from your forehead, your cheeks, your stomach. “I’m a fucking mess, Jungkook, look at me!” 

He steps forward, arms wrapping around your back. “I am looking, jagiya.” This time when he kisses you, it’s a slow, lingering caress. “You’re gorgeous, all fucked-out like this. Makes me wanna wreck you again.” 

“Mmmm,” you hum, leaning back. “I don’t know if I could handle that.”

“Oh?” Goddamn, will you ever get over that sexy smirk? “That’s not what you said earlier. You made it sound like you could handle anything I could give you.” 

“Well, that was then. I’ve never been manhandled like that before!”

“Manhandled?” Oh no. Oh, you don’t like the look he’s giving you now. Like you’ve just challenged him. “You want manhandled?”

Your neighbors are definitely awake now, based on the volume of your shriek as Jungkook bends and slings you over his shoulder. You instinctively flail your arms, seeking something, anything to hold on to, but it doesn’t matter. He’s got a firm grip on your legs, keeping you locked in place. So that’s how he carries you to your bedroom, upside-down, ass pointing at the ceiling. He delivers a sharp slap on one of your cheeks, just enough of a sting to surprise you, and you screech before starting to giggle.

He tosses you lightly onto the bed before he disappears into the bathroom, returning without the spent condom. You giggle again as he crawls over you, kissing his way up your stomach and over your breasts. Cupping his face, you urge him closer, pressing your mouths together in a slow burn of a kiss, a kindling flame that grows hotter and hotter until you’re both panting, desperately pawing at one another. 

He’s ready to go again and so are you, and you tear yourself away from his hungry lips long enough to reach into your nightstand and find what you need. Once he’s sheathed, he’s inside you again. But now his thrusts aren’t frenzied or hasty. Now, he strokes into you slowly, taking his time, groaning brokenly as your tight walls hug his aching length. His fingers lace with yours, pinning your hands to the bed above your head as he fucks you like he has all the time in the world, and he’s going to use every single second to give you all the pleasure he can. 

You arch your back, meeting his movements with your hips, taking him as deep as possible. Trying to make this good for him, trying to deliver just as much satisfaction with every tilt, every clench. Without your hands, you can’t pull his face to yours, and you have a delirious need to kiss him, taste him, claim his mouth with yours. You whimper, tipping your chin up, and somehow he understands your pitiful whines and slots his lips against yours.

This time, your orgasm doesn’t smash into you. This time, it builds, until it overwhelms you, takes over, wipes your mind clear of all thoughts, all sensations, everything except for him. Your body hums like a guitar string, stretched so tight, strummed by his beautiful hands, ringing out one single note. 

“Jungkook!”

He kisses you as his hips stutter, cock spurting hot and white inside you. He doesn’t pull away when his high finally passes, but lies on top of you, head nuzzling into your shoulder. Your hand finds the nape of his neck again, twists the sweaty strands of his hair. It’s a comforting weight, his strong body covering yours. You can’t explain it, but you like it. 

Which is why you pout when he finally props himself up on an elbow to gaze down at you, a soft smile on his face.

His bright eyes will be the death of you. 

“Are you in need of more manhandling?” he asks. 

You laugh, a full, body-shaking belly laugh that jostles him and makes him grin even more brightly. “I think I’m good right now, thank you.” 

He rolls onto his side, slinging an arm over your hip as you turn to face him. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

The rain taps a soothing rhythm on your bedroom window as you consider everything running through your mind at the moment. Should you call it a night and get some sleep? Does he want to take a shower first? Maybe together? Do you think you could go for a third round?

But instead of answering him with any of these, what you say is,  

“Are you free next Saturday?”

Masterlist 💜 Find me on AO3 💜 

© 2022-23 by sunshinerainbowsbts/minisugakoobies. Crossposted to AO3. Please do not copy or repost.

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[dailynnt]

A SOBER DRIVER FOR JEON JUNGKOOK

Pairing: Jungkook with Woman!Reader Characters: Jung Jungkook, Reader, Kim Taehyung, Park Jimin (these two will only be moments) Rating: 18+ Orientation: ⚤ Get Number of words: 10,765 Size: Considered Mini. But I plan to make a series out of it. Tags: everyday life, male-female friendship, childhood friends, unrequited feelings (only the main character thinks so), alcohol, drunkenness, night club, professional boxer Jungkook, journalist, virgin main character, first time, obscenity, dirty talk, penetration , passionate kisses, drunken sex, unprotected sex. Warning: My story contains explicit scenes. Please do not read to those under 18. A/N: You and Jungkook were childhood friends. You studied at the same school and spent a lot of time together. But when you both went to university, you lost touch for a while. One day, on the eve of Choseok, Jungkook offers to meet. After this meeting, you realize that you have fallen in love with your best friend. Because after several years of no communication, Jungkook has changed and become very attractive in every way. The plot will tell about the case when Jungkook and his friends go to a night club to relax, he calls you drunk and offers to join them. This is a very tempting offer for you. From the author: Hello everyone. I want to say that this idea was in my head for a long time. The idea that Jungkook and Reader are best friends and she becomes his sober driver one night. I tried to describe her in different situations, but the only thing I came up with is what is described in this story. I am very worried because I am not very good at writing. By the way, please note that English is not my native language. If there are any inaccuracies or grammatical errors, please don't get mad at me and indulge me. Please let me know what part of my story you liked or should I continue? Dedication: I dedicate this work to my twin sister Mariam. Although her bias is Jimin, she was very supportive of me while working on this story. Therefore, all the love of this story to her!

You desperately wanted a rest. When you finished taking a bath, you felt that you had washed off all the burden of today. Anxiety, anger and fatigue followed the stream of water that flowed down your body. For some reason, today was a difficult day at work.

You changed into your pajamas of a tank top and shorts. It was hot in the apartment, so you wanted to wear as few clothes as possible, despite the air conditioner being on.

It was about 21 degrees Celsius outside. The pleasant moderate temperature outside made this night perfect for walking or partying but you didn't want that. A small desire was still in your soul, but fatigue got the better of you. You just wanted to sleep.

Tomorrow is your day off, you had planned to get a good night's sleep and see your girlfriends, but someone had other plans for you.

You went to bed. The soft mattress pleasantly supported your body, which created a feeling of weightlessness. You picked up your phone and opened Instagram.

The first thing that caught your eye was Jungkook's storis. She was the first, followed by Jimin's stories and third was Taehyung's storis. The thought "All is in the assembly" flashed through my head. They must be walking somewhere!". Opening the first story, namely Jungkook, you only confirmed your thoughts. The neon colors of the nightclub lit up on the screen, Jimin and Taehyung flashed on the video. You smiled. You would like to be with them. The feeling of butterflies appeared in the stomach again. It always occurred to you when you saw Jungkook.

Jungkook was your best friend that you knew since childhood. You went to school together and your houses were next to each other. After school, you moved to Seoul to study journalism. Jungkook also moved to Seoul, he entered a sports university where he began to engage in professional boxing. Jungkook is currently the light heavyweight Olympic boxing champion.

When you were in university, your friendship with Jungkook was somewhat on hold. In the first six months of school, you called each other and texted each other and sometimes you could meet, but over time you and Jungkook had less and less time to talk and by the end of your studies, your communication with Jungkook came down wishes to birthday and different holidays. This lasted for several years.

After you finished your studies, you found a job and started working as a journalist.

You remembered how your friendly relations were restored.

Last year, just the day before Choseok, you received a New Year's text from Jungkook. There was no end to your happiness, because you were usually the first to write greetings for your friend, and he only wrote short but very sincere greetings in return. So, text by text, you agreed to meet before the Choseok celebration itself. Jungkook wrote that he missed you very much and would like to see you.

Something warm settled in your chest after those words of your best friend. You agreed to the meeting and were looking forward to it. In the evening, you met in a cozy cafe near your apartment. Jungkook suggested that you choose a place closest to your home so that it would be easier for you to get there. Your friend was not always so caring, so you already knew that this meeting might show you one day your best friend is a different person.

And so it really happened. When you saw Jungkook for the first time in two years, you couldn't believe your eyes. He became muscular and manly. His hair was short and neatly styled. There was no hint of the terrible pot he wore in high school. There was a piercing on the eyebrow and lip, which was very noticeable. He suited him very well. Jungkook also had a tattoo all over his arm. And it made you think that you never thought that Jungkook liked this kind of thing. However, you really liked Jungkook's whole look.

That's when you unconsciously fell in love with your best friend. It was the worst thing you could have done.

You remember how that evening you felt embarrassed in front of your friend when he told some joke that was more like flirting, but you probably could have made it up. So you're embarrassed because your once normal best friend has become the hottest man in the world.

You thought that he must have a girlfriend. But in a conversation about his personal life, Jungkook admitted that he doesn't have anyone, but if he needs a woman, he has no problem with that.

"Connection on the one night? You are disgusting Jeon Jungkook" You said then.

When asked if you have someone, you answered that you did not have any relationship. You quickly made an excuse that work took up all your time. Jungkook laughed at you.

"Really, Y/N so you're still virgin?" His sincere smile made him even more beautiful and your complexion even redder.

“Jeon Jungkook you are ass. This is not a very correct question!" You were annoyed. He can't ask you that.

"Why is it inappropriate?" He laughed. "We are best friends. You can tell me everything."

"So best friends." You said not without a touch of sarcasm. "We last saw each other several years ago. I even forgot what your voice sounds like." Jungkook stopped laughing. He suddenly became serious.

"But stop it. You can really tell me. What's wrong with the fact that you're still virgin?" Jungkook smiled lightly, as if inviting to tell him his personal story.

"Well..." you drawled, collecting your thoughts. "I really didn't have time to date. There were several, but they were completely unsuccessful. Therefore, it turns out that it is so. I am virgin." Your heart was pounding, and there was a noise in your ears. You didn't understand why you felt that way. Jungkook is your best friend, you shouldn't act like that in front of him. But two years of not communicating made themselves felt. For some reason, you couldn't think of Jungkook as a friend because you liked him. In the middle there was a complete feeling that you are on a date and not at a friendly meeting. Your mouth was dry from excitement, you took a cup of aromatic cocoa and took a few sips.

While you were trying to calm yourself down, you didn't pay attention to Jungkook who was looking at you with interest. You didn't notice the spark that flashed in his eyes.

"Oh," Jungkook said. "I would have never thought that a girl like you is still going around without a boyfriend and is even virgin." He giggled.

"Jungkook don't talk so loud!" - you hissed. You would not want the whole cafe to know that you are a virgin.

"Then how are we going to find you a boyfriend?" Jungkook joked.

In the end, your meeting in front of Choseok ended with you celebrating the New Year with Jungkook and his friends together. That's when he introduced you to Jimin and Taehyung.

And now for more than half a year, the four of you often spend time together. But today they are without you, because your boss dumped a lot of work on you.

You looked at the stories of the boys. You scrolled through the feed of the social network, and at some point it became boring so you blocked the phone. Putting it on the bedside table, you tried to fall asleep.

Thoughts of Jungkook immediately filled you’re head. He was in your thoughts almost every day since that meeting in front of Choseok. You couldn't shake the thought that the more time you spend with him, the stronger your feelings for him become.

As for his behavior, it was not unambiguous. He treated you with care, but it was only on a friendly basis. In half a year of new "friendly relations", Jungkook has not once shown you anything romantic. And you were afraid to confess to him. Losing a friendship because of your stupid feelings, what could be worse? But you couldn't help but think that you were literally going crazy. This cannot go on forever. Better to stay friends. You should find someone else to forget Jungkook. Why do feelings for him grow exponentially?

You knew the answer to this question better than anyone else. Jungkook was the perfect man for you in every way. The fact that he was hot on the outside is not even discussed. His body seems to have been created by God himself. You even liked his voice. You especially loved it when Jungkook sang. That's how he could sing. You thought that if he hadn't started boxing, he could have become a popular idol.

Jungkook was very attentive and caring towards you. You were nauseous just thinking that if he is so caring with you, then what is he like in a relationship? Jungkook had all the qualities of a real man and you couldn't help but like it.

But there was something that still worried you about Jungkook, and that was his attitude towards serious relationships. He was not interested in them (this was one of the reasons why you would never confess your feelings to him). Often when were you with Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung you all spent time together, Jungkook would brag about the number of girls who had been in his bed in a week. You felt terrible then, but you tried not to show everyone that you were not happy. The last time when your best friend started talking about his bed achievements, you carefully pretended that you needed to leave, for example, to get a drink, or to get a cup of tea, or to go to the toilet and things like that. Hearing how many women Jungkook had was unbearable.

Thinking of your friend and your unrequited feelings, you didn't immediately hear a notification on your phone. When probably 5 messages arrived, you grabbed the gadget.

22.40. Jungkook-ah 🥊: "Hello, My Heart one. You're awake?"

23.43. Jungkook-ah 🥊: "Hey My Heart one, don't you want to join us? I saw that you were watching our stories with the boys 😉"

23.44. Jungkook-ah 🥊: "Hey!! Why are you ignoring me? You couldn't fall asleep so quickly 😤"

23.45. Jungkook-ah 🥊: "Dear!! Come to us with the boys. Jimin is really asking me to persuade you to come"

23.47. Jimin-shi😈: “Actually Y/N  I think you should come over because Jungkook is talking about you all night 😏🤫”

Your eyes will increase from the number of SMS from friends. Jungkook's "Heart ones" hit the very in your heart, so you felt the butterflies in your stomach again. You opened Jungkook's message to reply as his name flashed on the screen.

 23. 50. Jungkook-ah 🥊 (incoming call)

"Hello" You picked up the phone. Your palms were instantly sweaty.

"Hello My Heart ones. You're awake?" Jungkook's voice was deep and lazy. He chuckled lightly. It seems he was drunk.

"I'm not sleeping Jungkook" You say kindly.

"You saw I wrote to you. Come to us. I miss you and we will have more fun."

"But aren't you already having fun without me?" You asked with a smile. Jungkook sensed your sarcasm and laughed too.

"Hahaha, we're really having fun, but if you came, it was really merriment." In the background you could hear music and sounds of cars. Jungkook must have gone outside to call you.

"Merriment?!" You repeated laughing. "I will never believe that you can't get gaiety without me? Jungkook, I already took a bath and in bed. Do you think I'll want to get out of it after a very hard day?"

“Oh Y/N did you have a bad day? Then you should definitely come to us!"

"Yes, but..." You didn't have time to finish as Jungkook suddenly asked.

"Hey wait did you say you're in bed now?" You heard Jungkook's deep voice.

"Yes"

"How can you lie in bed alone?

"So what?"

"Wouldn't you like to have someone by your side?" Your eyes widened. Jungkook hasn't flirted with you this openly before.

"What do you mean dear?" You tried to give confidence your voice.

“I mean you should come to our club and find a good candidate for the night. Come on, My Heart ones, you are already a grown-up girl. You and I talked about it a lot." You forgot how to speak for a while. All the words seemed to fly out of your head. There was silence for a few seconds.

"I'm sorry, my friend, but for some reason I have absolutely no desire to find a boyfriend right now."

"I know you better than anyone and I feel you need to relax." Silence fell between the two of you. You tried to find an answer but Jungkook broke the silence.

"Come to me." Inside you, everything seems to have broken off. This request sounded so desperate.

"Did you miss me that much?" You wanted to joke.

"Damm. I missed you to hell.” Jungkook said. Your heart was about to burst out of your chest. The desire to come to him grew stronger. But he was drunk. Jungkook thought drunkenly, only the fact that he was drunk could provoke him to say such a thing. You doubted again.

"Y/N" reached your ear. "If you don't want to come to us, let me come to you?"

“Jungkook sweetie, you better go home and get a good night's sleep. How much did you drink?”

"I didn't drink that much. By the way, I came here in my car. And I probably won't be able to take her away. And I have to go to the interview tomorrow. Bullshit!” Jungkook cursed.

"Wait, you have an interview tomorrow and you're still at the club?

"Yeah" Jungkook laughed lazily.

"Hey, why are you so not serious? How are you going to go to an interview like this?"

"I don't know." Admitted your best friend. "Maybe now I won't go."

"How come? You must fulfill your duties!" Now you were nervous. Jungkook can be punished for this behavior, or even better, he can be suspended from the competition if his company finds out about his behavior.

"The only thing you can do is come and drive me home in my car. I'll go to a little bit sleep, maybe I'll even be able to go to the interview." Jungkook suggested. You immediately agreed. You wanted Jungkook to continue to be a model athlete. Because his trainer, whom Jungkook introduced you to, had high hopes for his protégé. Mr. Choo said that Jungkook has a bright future in boxing. However, lately your best friend has partaken of nights out and had a many women.

"Fine. I'll take you, but please don't drink any more while you're waiting for me."

"I am waiting for you my Heart. I'll send you an SMS address."

The taxi pulled up to the entrance to the RAZER night club. Loud music blared from the front door, and people were standing near it. You picked up the phone and read Jungkook's last text message again: "RAZER Club, tell the security guard your name, I've already put you on the list. We will be on the second floor at the table to the left of the entrance. You will see us." You nervously locked your phone. We had to hurry, the clock was already two o'clock in the morning.

You went inside without any problems, telling the guard at the entrance your first and last name. It was stuffy and hot in the club. It smelled of alcohol and hookah. You made your way through the crowd on your way to the stairs leading to the second floor. You are not the first time in this club.

You visited it several times with your girlfriends, and maybe a few times you were here with Jungkook, Jimin, and Taehyung. Jungkook loved this place so you weren't surprised that he was here. Maybe if he didn't say where he is now, the first place you would start looking for him would be this nightclub.

You climbed the stairs to the second floor and instantly found a table, or rather a sofa, on which Jungkook's company rested. You headed in their direction. A few steps away from the sofa on which Jungkook and Jimin were sitting, the latter noticed you and jumped for joy.

"Wooooo. Who came to see us, Y/N my dear, you are really here." Jimin headed towards you. A moment later he was already holding you close. Taehyung then greeted you with a hug as well. Jungkook sat majestically on the couch waiting for everyone to hug you. When you finished cuddling with Taehyung, Jimin introduced you to the boys sitting at the table. There was a purely male company here. Too many boys. After saying hello to everyone, you sat down near Jungkook.

“You lazy ass. You didn't even didn’t stand up to me!" You said insultingly, shouting over the music. Jungkook leaned into your ear. His breath was hot and it left a mark on your ear.

"I was just waiting for you to greet everyone. Jimin turned out to be faster than me.” Jungkook turned away from your ear. He stayed close, your faces were separated by a few centimeters. Your friend looked you straight in the eyes, you read “Hello” on his lips, and then he leaned down to kiss your cheek. You were as if bewitched. Jungkook smelled like musk mixed with young coconut and alcohol.

You smiled, but it was hysterical. Your heart was pounding. Jungkook was so damn handsome. He was dressed in black jeans with holes and a black t-shirt that fit his figure perfectly. The piercings on the eyebrow and lip reflected the light of the neon lights.

"Jungkook go home. It's too late." You also bent down to tell friend that it was time to gather. At that moment, Jimin landed next to you, he also smelled of alcohol. They must have all had a good drink here.

"Honey, how are you? I haven't seen you for a long time!" Jimin put his hand on your knee. It didn't escape Jungkook's eyes. He tensed.

“Actually, Jimin-shi, I came here for Jungkook. He has important business tomorrow, and he's still here. I have to pick him up." You turned to Jimin so that it would be better to have a conversation. Jimin's hand remained on your knee.

"Oh yes, he said something like that. An interview or something." You shook your head affirmatively. "He came here in his car. He didn't even plan to drink at first." You were surprised, he remembered that he had an important business tomorrow and got drunk anyway. You couldn't help but notice a strange trend in Jungkook's behavior. He behaved irresponsibly, maybe something happened and you don't know about it. You were going to talk to your friend on the way home.

While you were talking to Jimin who still had his hand on your knee, you didn't notice Jungkook looking at you. He didn't like where Jimin was holding hands, and he couldn't say why. The tension that arose in the middle made Jungkook want to drink again. He poured himself a glass of whiskey and drank it in one gulp. Jungkook felt the alcohol burn his throat and for a second it muted the intense irritation.

Jungkook stood up and looked at you. You and Jimin turned to your friend at the same time.

"Let's go home Y/N" Jungkook said. You stood up next and nodded your head.

"Okay guys have fun. Jungkook and I really need to go." You said to Jimin and Taehyung, who was also looking at all of you. You hugged Taehyung again and then Jimin. For a brief moment that you were hugging a friend, you had no idea what kind of picture was behind you. Jimin had a big smile and looked at Jungkook who was angry with him. Jimin was amused by this situation. Someone is very jealous of their best friend. Jimin raised his eyebrows as if to ask “Is something wrong?”, but he was met with a hard smile that twisted his best friend's lips. Jimin could only wonder what that could mean.

You finally turned away from Jimin and you and Jungkook left the nightclub.

You two hardly spoke on the way to Jungkook's car. The only thing is that you asked where the car was and Jungkook said that it was in the parking lot.

Jungkook looked sullen. Carefully glancing at him, you noticed that his eyebrows were converged on the forehead. Why is his infusion like this?

Jungkook's Mercedes was parked not far from the parking lot exit. When you got to the car Jungkook unlocked it and gave you the keys. You got behind the wheel and your friend sat next to you.

While you adjusted the seat and steering wheel for herself, Jungkook reached for something in the back seat. He leaned towards you so that it was convenient to get what was lying behind. You started the engine and after adjusting the steering wheel, you noticed Jungkook leaning into your seat. Without thinking, you turned to see what he was doing and found yourself close to his face again. You froze.

"What are you doing?" You asked.

"I want to get something out of the back seat." Jungkook says. You and your friend look into each other's eyes until he finally gets what he's been chasing. In his hand you see an electronic cigarette. You frown.

"Seriously Jeon Jungkook?!" You say, looking at the thing in his hand. "Now an electronic cigarette?"

"Something is wrong?" Asks your friend and inhales smoke. You stare at your friend for a few seconds. He does not notice your look he continues to smoke and seems to like it very much. At some point, Jungkook notices that in the car has become very quiet, and when he turns back to you, he encounters a judgmental look of you.

"What?" Jungkook asks again and you can feel the irritation in his voice. You want to say that you are annoyed by his behavior, but instead you just look away and drive away.

You are silent again, Jungkook continues to smoke. Your mood is bad, and the reason for that lies to the right of you. You are in some sense disappointed by your friend's behavior. He is a good athlete who has great achievements in his career and can reach even greater heights. But ruining your career with nightclubbing, alcohol and cigarettes, what could be more terrible? Jungkook has changed, you don't recognize him at all.

The window on Jungkook's side is open, and when the air rushes into the car, you catch the smell of banana smoke. After a while Jungkook turns on the music out of boredom. You just silently watch his actions. He flips through the radio stations and can't find anything suitable. In the end, he stops at some station that plays rhythmic hip-hop. Jungkook likes the music and turns it up, then louder until some stupid song is shouts at the whole car. Jungkook sings and dances along. Your nerves give up. With one sharp movement, you make quieter. Jungkook looks at you as if he just realized that you are near.

"You shouldn't listen to music so flexibly. We can be fined by the police." You say, hiding the terrible irritation inside.

"I do not care." Jungkook says lazily. He tries to make music loud again, but you reach the button first.

"We won't listen to music now." and you turn off the radio altogether. Jungkook is stunned for a moment, and then a small laugh escapes his lips.

“What happened Y/N, why so angry? Hasn't anyone fucked you in a long time?" - You felt feeling as if you were punched in the stomach. It was as if a current passed through the body. You grabbed the steering wheel. But before you can answer anything, Jungkook is ahead of you.

“Oh, how could I forget? No one fucked you at all! But don't worry my Dear, sooner or later it will happen. And you will stop getting angry at all." You turn sharply to the side and park. You start shaking all over. What is this man thinking? How dare he talk to you like that?

“What the hell? How are you talking to me?" Are you yelling at Jungkook. He looks at you but you are ready to just kill him.

"What did I say?" Jungkook says calmly. He seems to feel no guilt behind him.

“Do you have any problems Jungkook? Why do you speak so rudely to me?"

"I don't have any problems, Dear. Why did you assume that they are?" Jungkook smiles smugly. He's probably having a lot of fun now, but you're not into jokes now.

"Your jokes are not funny at all and stop acting like shit!" You say, trying to calm down.

"But it was not a joke. If a girl is angry, she either wants sex or is having critical days. It's one of two" Jungkook says.

"Of course, I forgot how experienced you are in the affairs of women and their behavior." You sneer.

"If you want, I can quench your anger. Or you can ask Jimin if you want. I think he will not mind helping you." You try to analyze Jungkook's words. Why is Jimin here at all? And then it's like the last puzzle has been completed in your head. Could it be that your best friend made jealous you to Jimin? Or what can justify his sharp bad mood and these annoying words about help?

"Jeon Jungkook is you in your right mind? Have alcohol and cigarettes replaced your common sense?" You say. Now Jungkook was staring at you. A tense silence fell between you.

"My mind is fine." Suddenly he starts. "I see what I say. Jimin seems interested in you." You are shocked at what this conversation has come to. Jungkook keeps his eyes on you. He is interested in following your reaction.

"I don't understand what you're talking about at all. Jimin don't interest in me, he's just friendly." You assume.

"Of course he will be friendly. How will he drag you to bed then?" You don't understand how this conversation reached the point where Jimin wants to drag you to bed. You didn't know what to say. You ran a hand through your hair, thinking of what to say to Jungkook. He kept his eyes on you at that time. You couldn't know what was going on in his head. How could you know that your friend wants to be the guy who will have you in bed?

You exhaled heavily and started the engine.

“Jungkook, I don't understand why you think that, but it's not true. Jimin and I are just friends. If he behaves suspiciously, it is only because he is friendly. Why is a friendly gesture for you men an invitation to bed?" You said, and caught yourself thinking that you were making excuses. "Why do you care anyway? Even if he wants something with me, so what? It’s any difference to you?". Jungkook is silent. He is in no hurry to answer. Having chosen the right words, he answers.

"So there is a difference to me." He says. You feel discomfort inside again.

"Which one?" You ask briefly and try to give firmness to your voice.

"You shouldn't be dating any of my friends!"

"What does it mean??" You squeak.

"It means what I said. You can't meet my friends." Jungkook inhales the smoke of the electronic cigarette again.

"Don't you think, Jungkook, that you have no right to say such words. When you say something like that, you have to give an argument!" You start to get angry again. Why does he think that he has the right to permission or not allow to meet with someone?!

"You're my friend and they shouldn't lay their damn hands on you." You can hear Jungkook getting angry. This is the first time you see your friend like this. Angry and irritated as if someone touched his personal things. But you are not his personal thing.

"Hey friend, I'm not your personal thing. So don't act like that. And I will decide on the have or not relationship with your friends myself! You can't to object me!"

Jungkook doesn't answer and you drive the rest of the way in complete silence.

After some time, you find yourself in the parking lot of the complex where his house is located. Your mood was damn bad. Usually, spending time with Jungkook is the best part of your day, but it wasn't today. The tense silence that was the rest of the way exhausted you. You wanted to leave Jungkook and go home as soon as possible. You scrolled through your conversation with him over and over again. He's kind of weird today and he's freaking you out.

You parked the Mercedes and turned off the engine. There was no desire to talk to Jungkook at all. You grabbed your phone to order an Uber.

Jungkook noticed what you were doing.

"Why are you ordering a taxi? Are you going to go back to the club?" You hear sarcasm from Jungkook's lips.

"I will go home. And maybe to the club, who knows?" You say with the same sarcasm. You continue to enter your home address as the phone slips out of your hands and into Jungkook's hands.

"You're not going home tonight." He says, holding the phone above his head. A new surge of anger arose in you.

“Jungkook don't make me nerves. Because I'm already so angry. Give me the phone, I'll order a taxi and go."

"You won't go home anyway. It's too late, you're spending the night at my place." You watch as Jungkook hides your phone in the back pocket of his black jeans.

"I don't want to be with you even a second longer. That's why I won't spend the night at your place!" You say indignantly and cross your arms and sit up straight. "You told me all sort of shit and now you're trying to worry?" You see Jungkook approaching you and in a moment he is so close that you forget how to breathe. One of his hands grabs the seat next to your face and the other is not far from your thighs.

"You shout too often and too loudly today. Should I close your mouth?". Jungkook looks at you first and then shifts his gaze to your lips. Your heart beats somewhere in your throat and you feel how in the car getting hot. You absolutely do not know what to do. Suddenly Jungkook laughs. His light laugh, which sounds like a bass, is reflected in every cell of your body.

“You look so scared. Honey, I'm not going to hurt you!" His voice becomes softer, and you suddenly gain courage.

"I'm just confused. You caught me off guard." You say, and your eyes also fall on his lips. You forgot that a few moments ago you were angry with him. One of his looks annoyed you, and now in the middle you feel only a strong attraction to your friend. The picture that you have imagined many times is literally right now in front of you.

"You're staying with me for the night and that's non-negotiable." Jungkook says it, still close to your face.

"You will have to make me stay. Because I do not want to!" You annoy Jungkook. You feel arousal from his close contact and a desire arises in the bottom of your stomach. You clench your hips to ease the sensation. And of course it doesn't escape your friend's eyes. He lowers his eyes to your thighs for a moment and a smug smile graces his already handsome face.

"My girl wants me to make her stay?" Jungkook almost moans these words into your lips, his hand ends up on your thigh. He runs his hand under your skirt and stops at your panties. You instinctively spread your legs. “I know a good way,” Jungkook says, and then his lips cover yours. You smell alcohol and sweet banana. His hand moves down to your clit and he feels how wet you are.

"So damn wet already." - He whispers, pulling away from your lips for a second. You can't think about anything but Jungkook's soft lips on yours and his hand that has already penetrated the fabric of your underwear. You moan from the pleasure gifted of your best friend. Jungkook likes this, so he deepens the kiss by sliding his tongue into your mouth. The kiss turns out to be so passionate that your head literally spins. Jungkook sticks his tongue out and traces the contours of your lips, as if he's trying to memorize every inch of your body.

"I've wanted this for so long." Jungkook admits. You wanted this too for a long time. You feel butterflies in your stomach at his words. Did your friend really want you all this time? You want to ask him how it happened, but his fingers end up on your clit. You shudder at the new sensation. Jungkook breaks the kiss. He's still close to your face, and you don't open your eyes, holding back the pleasure you didn't know before.

"Would you see yourself now, Heart? So red and beautiful. Do you like what I do?" Jungkook's voice makes you even more excited. You want more, but you don't understand how it should be. Jungkook is still waiting for your answer as he continues to circle your center, kissing your neck at the same time. You seem to be in seventh heaven with happiness. You couldn't even imagine how skillfully Jungkook was able to bring pleasure.

“Say it my dear. Say what you like when your best friend finger fucks you." You try to squeeze the answer out of yourself.

"Yes" Your words sound more like a moan than an answer. But for Jungkook, it was more than he wanted to hear. He returns to your lips and captures them again. He immediately sticks his tongue in your mouth and kisses you to the point of unconsciousness. You shiver a little with pleasure and as soon as you think you should come Jungkook takes my finger away. You open your eyes and meet his. You want to protest, but instead you see his smile and suddenly panic.

"Let's go to the apartment, dear. It is not very comfortable here. I want to enjoy you completely and for that you have to be naked." You still feel excited, but Jungkook's words make you blush. You are embarrassed by the fact that you just moaned at his actions. Jungkook adjusts the skirt of your dress and kisses your swollen lips briefly.

He gets out of the car first and rushes to your door. You smooth your hair and feel how you are shaking all over. What just happened? And what will happen next?

Jungkook opens the door from your side and holds out his hand. You take your things and put your hand in his. The sound of locks is heard, which informs that the car is locked. Jungkook leads you to the door that leads to the hall of his house.

You feel panic cover you. You can't sleep with your best friend. Even with your feelings, you feel that this should not happen. If you do that, you won't be able to be friends anymore because you know Jungkook isn't interested in a serious relationship. You are also afraid of the fact that it will be the first time for you. You wouldn't admit to anyone that you wanted Jungkook to be your first husband, but now you've lost all confidence.

Behind the crazy thoughts in your head, you don't notice how you have already found yourself near the elevator and it has arrived. The door opened with a characteristic sound. Jungkook led you inside. He presses the button for the 14th floor and the elevator moves, and at that moment you are already pressed against the wall. Jungkook presses his big muscular body against you. He kisses you desperately again and you can't help but respond. But some inner feeling tells you to stop him. Jungkook's hands roam your body again. One of his hands is on your ass and squeezing it.

“You are so damn beautiful. I want to fuck you until the end." Jungkook says. You feel his bulge pressing against your pubic bone.

The elevator stops on the floor you need and Jungkook reluctantly breaks away from you and takes your hand again and leads you to the door of his apartment.

The moment the two of you were inside, Jungkook lost control of himself. He grabbed your bag and threw it somewhere to the side, then he pounced on you with a kiss. He pressed your body to his. You felt again that you should tell Jungkook that you both can't do it. You tried to break the kiss but your friend wouldn't let you.

"Jungkook-ah" You were finally able to tear yourself away from him. At the same time, he continued to cover your neck with kisses. "Jungkook wait a minute." You said grabbing his shoulders. You tried to stop him.

“I can't wait any longer Y/N. I waited too long to do this to you.” Jungkook admits. You cannot believe his words. You thought you were the only one who wanted something like that between you. But with such statements, you feel that you cannot cross the line.

“Jungkook, honey listen.” You began to struggle in his steel grip. "We shouldn't do this!"

"Why not? We both want it! So why can't we have sex?” Jungkook says. He's still holding you close, but he's stopped kissing you.

"Jungkook, if we sleep over we can't be friends." You say desperately.

"Why?" He asks.

"Because..." You want to confess your feelings to him, but you are afraid. If you say that you are in love with him, then your friendship is definitely gone. "Because Jungkook, friends aren't supposed to sleep with each other." You telling untruth.

"You're wrong. Friends can have sex. Have you heard anything about "friends with benefits?" He smiles but you don't laugh. You raise your eyebrows.

“I don't want to be friends with benefits. This is not for me Jungkook.” While you say his big eyes run over your face. Jungkook feels a slight disappointment. He lets you go and takes a few steps back. You look at him and already regret what you said. When Jungkook pulled away from you, you felt like you lost something.

"Shit!" Your friend is quarreling. He rakes his hair back and takes another step back. "So I'm really just a friend for you?" Jungkook asks. "Then why did you answer my kisses?" You are silent, unable to answer anything. You lower your eyes unable to stand his gaze. “Y/N I don't understand you.” Jungkook suddenly says. "I know you like me, but you don't want anything to do with me?" You are stunned. You look up at him and see his face radiating anger.

“So you know? Who told you?"

"No one told me, I just noticed it. And noticed a long time ago." Jungkook says.

"Noticed? Could you be wrong?” You try to understand what in your behavior could lead him to such thoughts.

"Since that meeting the day before Choseok." Jungkook started. "When I saw you, I couldn't believe my eyes. You became so beautiful and attractive that I could hardly stop myself from staring at you. I usually do this before you see it. When we were kids, I didn't even pay attention to you, even though all my friends just told me I was stupid for just being friends with you. For me, you were just a sister, but you changed a lot during the years that we didn't communicate. And I really don't understand why I didn't notice how attractive you are." Jungkook started to move in your direction, and you stood under the wall and could not believe your ears. "Then in the cafe, when we talked and you said that you were a virgin, I took it as a sign that you should be mine. I've wanted you Y/N ever since. I invited you to the party then because I wanted to sleep with you." Jungkook is already close to you again, he smiles remembering that day. “I was so sure that it would cost me nothing to drag you to bed, but you turned out to be so untouchable. I remember how you stayed away from me then, as if you felt that if you give me even the slightest hint, I will do something to you."

"No! That's not why I stayed away from you." You say and your voice is hoarse.

"It does not matter. It doesn't matter anymore. Would you know how many times I tried to get close to you and you didn't seem to notice me. I know you like me, your behavior says it. You run literally at my every whim." Jungkook puts his hand on your face and strokes it.

"It does not. I don't follow any whim of yours." You say and you are starting to feel sick from what you are going through.

"I don't understand one thing. If you like me, why don't you want me?" He asks. You are silent, you don't know what to say. Jungkook admitted that he likes you, so why can't you? Something inside of you doesn't give you the right to allow something more to happen but you wanted it the most in the world, right from the moment you met Jungkook on the eve of Choseok. Jungkook lengthens his caress on your cheek, gently and slowly, this action seems to hypnotize you. His finger seems so soft and gentle.

There is absolute silence between you. The only thing that disturbs it is the sounds coming from the street. Jungkook is the first to break the long silence.

“Y/N” his finger still caressing your cheek. "Just tell me do you want it to happen?" You know exactly what he is talking about, your heartbeat becomes frantic again. "If you don't want it, I won't lay even a finger on you anymore. I will do everything as if what happened in the car never happened." Jungkook is too close. Only a few centimeters separate you. You smell his hot breath that smells of alcohol and something sweet, you wonder for a second how much he drank today, usually Jungkook needs to drink a lot to be very drunk, he is very resistant when it comes to alcohol. You feel the warmth of his body next to you. You are intoxicated by his closeness. His voice is so low and gentle at the same time. You look up at Jungkook and meet his gaze. His brown eyes seem just black in the darkness of the apartment. You look at them and you can't take your eyes off of him. You see desire and hope in his eyes. You understand that you gave up a long time ago. You know Jungkook got you in that unfortunate car. You can't refuse him because you want to sleep with him just as much. You want to know what he can do to you.

You want to drink. You need to relax, and alcohol will do that quickly. Because unlike Jungkook, you get drunk quickly. Maybe strong alcohol will also give you the desired bravery in front of Jungkook.

"Do you have anything to drink?" You say without answering Jungkook's question. His eyebrow goes up at the words, Jungkook looks at you with interest. But suddenly he giggles lightly.

“Yes, I have. What would you like, Heart?" Jungkook's voice is playful.

"Let's drink something strong." You suggest. You smiling. He reluctantly lets you go for and heads for the kitchen.

You weren't at Jungkook's house very often. Usually you two spent time somewhere in clubs, cafes, sometimes at festivals. Jungkook always ended up at your house. It could have been an impromptu party, after which he stayed the night, or he just came to visit, stayed until late and you worried about him and offered to stay. There were many times when Jungkook stayed at your place for the night.

Jungkook's apartment was in an upscale area of Seoul. She was gorgeous in a nice light yellow/brown color. His kitchen and living room were a large common room. It was quite nice and comfortable. A small table was located in front of the large sofa, which stood behind the cooking surface. You immediately guessed where Jungkook usually ate, of course when he ate at home. But he did it not often. His apartment was large, from the living room you could get into several more rooms, into the toilet and bathroom and into the bedroom. Jungkook also had a separate room with a gym and a dressing room.

Every time you were in his apartment, you looked around. Because you constantly came across some new interesting things that Jungkook owned. It could was a new guitar or drumsticks. Or some strange statue, or for example, some lamps. Today you wandered with your eyes in search of new objects, but without success. Nothing new caught your eye.

You sat down on the couch and waited for Jungkook. After a while he returned with two broad glasses and a bottle of whiskey. Your friend put the glasses on the table and sat down next to you. Jungkook sat down very close, your thighs touching each other. He poured strong alcohol and handed you one of the glasses filled with liquid. You silently took it and raised it to your lips.

Jungkook kept his eyes on you. He also raised the glass to his lips and drank the honey-colored drink in one gulp. You drank not all, but only half. The alcohol burned your throat. You grimaced from the taste. Jungkook kept looking at you. In fact, he was burning with the thought that he wanted to touch you. He wants to see what is hidden under your soft purple dress. He looked down at your legs and ran his eyes from your feet to where your skirt started. He was attracted by your bare legs, he wanted to explore every centimeter of your body with his own hands.

Your head started to spin and the alcohol started to relax you almost instantly. You finished the rest of the whiskey in the second gulp.

"Do you want another drink?" Jungkook asked. Without thinking long, you handed him your empty glass. You desperately want to push obsessive thoughts out of your head. Jungkook laughs at your desire to drink, he knows that you don't drink strong alcohol at all. He pours you more.

“You have to be careful Y/N. You get drunk quickly, but I still wanted to hear the answer to my question." Jungkook hands you a glass and turns to you to see you better. You take another glass and take a small sip. The taste of whiskey is really terrible, but that's what you need right now. You finish the second glass and feel that this will probably be enough. Jungkook returned to his question. You have long known what to answer him. Jungkook doesn't drink anymore, he drank today enough and doesn't want to anymore. All he wants is to hear permission from your lips.

“Yes, Jungkook,” you say, feeling the alcohol envelops your body. All the thoughts that previously forbade you to do anything left your head. You see no reason to give up on Jungkook now. "I want this!" Your voice trembles.

Your words echo in a beautiful melody to Jungkook's ears. So! This is what he expected to hear. He didn't even doubt for a faked second that you would say that. He doesn't need to hear anything else. He wants you as soon as possible.

Jungkook moves closer to you and leans in for a kiss. When his lips touch yours, fireworks explode inside you. This feeling comes every time Jungkook kisses you. He deepened the kiss with his tongue and you noted that no one who had kissed you before had used their tongue as skillfully as Jungkook.

"Sit on my lap." He said when he pulled away from your lips. You were stunned for a moment, but Jungkook grabbed your arm and pulled you towards him. You sat on him. He slipped his hands under your dress and left them on your buttocks. He looked at you with eyes full of desire, his smile on his lips said that he got what he wanted.

One of his hands moved from your buttocks to your wet underwear. He found your clit and ran his finger over it a few times. The movement made you wanted more. You bit your lip to keep from moaning out loud.

"You don't need to restrain yourself, Heart. I want to hear your voice." Jungkook whispers. He kisses your neck, you feel yourself falling apart. His kisses send ants all over your body.

You feel how much Jungkook wants you. His bulge presses well against you, at some point you start rocking on his hips to quell the feeling that gathered in you below. Jungkook grabs your buttocks with both hands and helps you with the rhythm. You moan in pleasure.

"You are my good girl. I want to see you!" Jungkook says. He grabs the skirt of your dress and carefully pulls your entire outfit over your head. Now you're sitting on his lap in a bra and, soaked through. You like his eyes so much that look at you with absolute lust. Jungkook wastes time in freeing you from your bra, and when he takes it off you feel a sense of relief. You see his eyes staring into your chest and you smile. It feels like he's seeing a woman's breasts for the first time.

His member hardens even more from he saw. Jungkook gently touches one of your breasts with his hand and squeezes it. You feel a surge of desire. He leans down to your chest and takes one of your nipples in his mouth. At first it feels like a kiss and then he starts sucking it. He sticks his tongue out and circles your bud a few times before sucking again. You look down on him and think that you can only come from these actions of his. Jungkook does the same thing with your second nipple as he did with the first. You moan unable to hold back the pleasure as you continue to rock on Jungkook's hips.

He wants to get rid of these tight pants. It even hurts from the fact that you started to rock at him more intensively. His jeans were soaked with your juice and his own cum, which was coming out more and more with your movements. He thought for a second that he could cum just from the sight of your bare breasts and the intense movements that you didn't even think to stop. Jungkook thought he couldn't take it anymore and he needed to push his cock inside you as soon as possible.

You kissed Jungkook, wanting to feel his sweet lips again, when suddenly he stopped you. You were slightly sweaty and noticed the beads of sweat covering Jungkook's forehead.

"Honey, I'm going to fuck you! Because if you keep rocking on my hips like this I can't stand it!" He says. You don't even have time to think what he means as you are already on your back. Jungkook towers over you, pulling off his t-shirt. You feast your eyes on his body. He is so perfect that he can be compared to the Greek God. You didn't even notice that Jungkook was fully clothed all this time. You felt so vulnerable in front of him.

"Are you ready?" Jungkook asks. He keeps his hands on the belt of his pants. You lower your eyes there and see how his cock protrudes through his jeans. You are a little afraid to see him with your own eyes, but the desire to feel him cock in yourself is stronger. You reach for his belt and unbuckle it.

"I'm ready," you say.

"Okay my girl. But first you need to get used to my size. So first I will insert my fingers into you so that you get used to the feeling. The first time is usually painful." Jungkook says with concern. "But don't worry. I'll be very gentle with you." He promises. You smile

"Thank you" is all you say. Jungkook gets off of you and pulls off your pants, leaving you in nothing but Calvin Klein boxers.

He drops to one knee above you, and keeps the rest of his body weight on the other leg that is on the floor. He carefully grabs the elastic bands of your panties and pulls them down without much haste. Your breathing quickens. Now you are completely naked in front of Jungkook.

His gaze wanders all over your body. Jungkook couldn't help but think that the picture in his head was exactly what he had imagined since that very day. Since that meeting on the eve of Choseok. He imagined more than once how you lay naked in front of him. He lingers own eays on your pussy. You feel the heat spread throughout your body at Jungkook's gaze.

"Are you going to stare much longer?" You ask, unable to stand his gaze. Jungkook laughs and then leans into you. He leans down so low that your noses are touching.

"I have to remember this moment in all its glory." He says. "Can't I admire you?" Jungkook kisses you passionately and very intensely again. "You are so beautiful," he whispers into your lips. You feel his hot breath burning your swollen lips. And then you feel how he inserts his finger into you. You feel something new. It's not like a similar feeling when he starts to move it inside you. Jungkook is still very close to your face. He enjoys you look.

His finger moves smoothly inside you. You feel much not pressure on your walls. After a while Jungkook inserts a second finger into you and the pressure increases. The movements become faster and you think you like what Jungkook is doing. You close your eyes with pleasure. A soft moan escapes your lips. Jungkook showers your neck with kisses. Finally, he inserts the third finger into you, behind which a slight note of pain is felt. But it's not unpleasant. Jungkook moves his fingers inside you, thus stretching your entrance.

“So wet for me” Jungkook whispers in your ear. "You ready to accept me, aren't you?" You are ready for this. Jungkook is very good with his fingers. His movements give you incredible pleasure, but you still wonder how it feels to feel his member inside you. You are unable to answer something specific. You just start moaning louder, trying to let him know that you are ready.

Jungkook pulls his fingers out of you and you regret that he did. You want him to never stop doing it. You open your eyes and see him licking his fingers that were inside you a few moments ago. You don't know how to react to such a gesture. Jungkook sees your reaction and smiles.

"You are such a sweet. Did you know about it?"  You are ashamed of such a compliment. “Next time I want to fully enjoy you and try you. But now I want to be inside you.” Jungkook gets off you and takes off his boxers. His big cock is already so hard. You can't stop looking at him, and you're a little scared because he's so big. You don't know if it's good or bad. You heard how the girls at work sometimes joked about this topic and it was like it was good. But you have heard more than once that if the penis is too big, it can be painful.

Jungkook rushed to you. He climbed on top, picking up your legs so that they bent at the knees. He rested his cock against your entrance and leaned into you again.

"Don't be nervous my good girl. I promised to be gentle with you." It’s hard for you to control yourself, but you tried.

"I trust you completely Jungkook" You confidently say! Jungkook kissed your lips to calm you down, and then he took his cock in his hand and pressed it against your entrance.

Inch by inch Jungkook slowly filled you with his cock. And as soon as he sank completely, you felt a strong pressure on your walls. Of course you were hurt. But the pain almost immediately disappeared against the background of a still unknown sensation. It wasn't like that when Jungkook moved his fingers into you.

He stopped as soon as he was fully inside you, allowing you to get used to the new sensation. He leaned into you again kissing your lips quickly. It he just touched your lips as if calming you down.

"Are you all right?" He asked gently.

"Yeah, I'm fine!" You told the truth. As soon as the pain subsided you thought that you liked the way Jungkook was filling you up. After waiting a little longer, he began to carefully move his hips. You gasped from the pain that came with every movement, but later it was replaced by pleasant sensations. Jungkook carefully moved back and forth finding your G spot. He tried to be as careful as possible so his movements were smooth and not too forceful. Jungkook liked rough sex, but it wasn't going to happen today. Maybe when you are ready a little later he will show you all the beauty of rough sex. So he was already thinking about what he would do to you in the other times.

"You are so tight, my girl. So damn tight!" Jungkook let out a groan. He began to move more intensively, you felt an unknown pleasure. You didn't feel any more pain. You closed your eyes again and your lips parted to let the pleasure be heard through your moans. Jungkook was finally giving you pleasure, he couldn't help but feel relieved.

Jungkook's hands are on either side of your face. He was hanging over you breathing heavily. You were also breathing hard. Your bodies moved in time with each other. You wrapped your arms around Jungkook's shoulders, leaning down to let your bodies snuggled up. Jungkook wanted to kiss you again. He ran his tongue into your mouth as soon as your lips met. He moaned from the feeling that your tight pussy gave him. He kissed you passionately, and you kissed him back. Your hands plunged into his black locks. Even now you couldn't help but think about you, how soft they are to the touch. Jungkook ended the kiss by biting your bottom lip, tasting your soft flesh.

He finally let go of your lips, instead he wanted to leave a mark on you now. He dug into your neck, sucking on the skin. You liked the slight pain that accompanied those kisses.

Jungkook continued to kiss you as his thumb found your clit. He pressed it lightly and then began to caress it in circular motions, never stopping to move inside you.

"Shit..." you breathed out with a groan. "Jungkook I'm so close." Hearing what you said, he started to move faster.

"Come on girl. Do It. Come." Jungkook says. And after his words, you felt your whole body sink into bliss. A feeling of pleasure spread throughout your body. You screamed unable to hold it in. Jungkook continued to fuck you, intending to cum as well. He felt so good about you that he thought he would finish much earlier than you, but he was able to hold on. And when he reached his own climax, you felt his hot sperm inside you, filling you. His cock twitched inside you releasing his cum. Jungkook was saying swear words that somehow reflected his own pleasure.

When Jungkook stopped twitching inside you, his cock went limp and he was in no hurry to pull it out of you. Jungkook leaned down on top of you finding your lips again. He kissed you gently while breathing heavily. Your eyes met after he stopped kissing you.

"Are you okay?" He asked immediately. You tried to hold your breath.

"Everything is fine," you said and smiled. Jungkook smiled back. He carefully got out of you and sat next to you. You tried not to think about what just happened.

“Y/N you bled a little blood.” He said putting his hand on your thigh. You got up. You wanted to cover yourself, but all your clothes were on the floor.

Jungkook was following you.

"Oh, it's okay." You say. "It should be." You look up at Jungkook and see that he is looking at you. A slight smile on his lips.

"Do you want to take a shower?" He asks. You are shy because you notice how he is looking at you.

"That's how I would like it."

"Do you want to go alone or should I join you?" Jungkook leans towards your lips, but doesn't kiss. Your heart beats faster.

"I think I should go myself." You say awkwardly, thinking about what might happen in the bathroom again, but you are not ready for it.

"As you like Heart." Jungkook stands up and walks over to his boxers lying near the sofa. You stare at him unable to get used to Jungkook's naked body. "Do you like what you see?" He suddenly says. Not expecting to hear any question from him, you shudder and quickly look away. Jungkook laughs. He pulls on his boxers and come to you. He kneels next to you, cupping your face in his hands. "I'm really very handsome, you shouldn't look away." You look at each other and then Jungkook kisses you. A strange thought runs through his head: "I just fucked her, and I don't understand how I can want her again so quickly." You broke the kiss. In fact, you were already short of air and your lips were already swollen from frequent kisses.

You walked into the bathroom holding the clothes Jungkook had given you a minute ago. You felt your whole body ache, especially there. You put your things on the counter and went into the shower and turned on the faucet. It was warm enveloping your sweaty body. Standing under the stream of water, you thought about everything that had happened. You felt bad. You had a lot of different thoughts that started to fill your head. How to behave with Jungkook? What is your relationship with him now? You are completely confused. You were nervous and didn't know how to deal with him when you got out of the shower. But Jungkook was so gentle with you that just remembering it gave you butterflies in your stomach. You wanted to run home, but he knows where you live. In reality, all you were afraid of was Jungkook will saying, “I'm sorry but it was only once. I'm sorry that you decided that I want a relationship with you. Let's be friends as before." You were horrified. A plan appeared in your head. When Jungkook goes to wash you have to run.

You just had to drive him home. What...what did you do?

P.C. I hope you give this story a lot of love.

[ghostcat3000]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by the super talented @theawkwardterrier

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

54

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

985,499 😅

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently SKAM. In the past I've written for: Call Me By Your Name, Daredevil, Jessica Jones, You're the Worst, Veronica Mars, and New Girl. I've also written a bunch of one-shots for Yuletide, mostly for films.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?*

Rest Easy (SKAM, Isak/Even, Nordic Noir AU, 18 chapters, Rated E, 168K, complete)

The Boyfriend Experience (SKAM, co-written with @irazor, Isak/Even, Gentle Sci-fi Love Story AU**, 21 chapters, Rated E, 177K, complete)

III. Rondo: Allegretto Moderato (Call Me By Your Name, Elio/Oliver, Post-Canon AU, 6 chapters, Rated M, 33K, complete)

A Lord's Sauce (SKAM, Isak/Even, Food Critics AU, 6 chapters, Rated T, 20K, complete)

1 Thing (SKAM, Isak/Even, Friends With Benefits AU, 6 chapters, Rated M, 31K, complete)

*I feel like this is crazily inaccurate. In terms of hits, The Boyfriend Experience is far and away the leader of the pack.

Lately, I've been getting so many guest kudos and I hate that I don't know if they're legit or bots run amok. I've gotten some fantastic comments from guests without AO3 accounts, so I'm reluctant to shut them out, but that might be what the future holds.

**This is a gross oversimplification of what kind of AU The Boyfriend Experience really is. All I can say is: trust us.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes. Sometimes I'm a little late in replying but I will reply. If someone took the time to read my story and tell me how they felt about it, then I want to respond to them. Say thank you.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm not a sad ending fic writer. Early on in my fic writing days, I worked on a non-chronological Veronica Mars fic series and a one-shot in that series, The Teeth by the Shoulder, had an angsty final chapter. That story was meant to connect with the one following, and what came next wasn't angsty at all. BUT, unfortunately, it didn't read that way and readers were like wtf, GC??? That was a structural experiment that didn't quite work. It happens. I still like the story though and how it sets up the one after. A noble failure.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh gosh, most of them are pretty happy, weirdly enough. Probably Rest Easy, because the happy ending was a departure from the Scandinavian Noir genre and I felt it was pretty earned.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've gotten some weird things.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do. What kind? I don't know. The kind with feelings, I suppose. I think sex writing is a great tool for revealing character. That's usually the best kind.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I wrote one tiny crossover for Veronica Mars and New Girl (who famously share an actor, a fact that in typical-me fashion, I did NOT take advantage of) called Legs Up To Her Waist (The French Have a Phrase for It Remix) for a remix challenge. I think it's a lot of fun, I got to delve a little into my Raymond Chandler fixation.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Probably lines here and there, fanon, but not whole stories. I think they're considered too weird by the general population.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! My Handmaid's Tale fic, We Must Refuse to Disappear has been translated into Russian.

I also have a SKAM story, A Lord's Sauce, that was translated into Italian as part of Fandom Trumps Hate. I hope to post that before the end of the year.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, quite happily, The Boyfriend Experience with the wonderful @irazor.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I don't play favorites. I am enjoying writing Isak/Even now. Probably because they have such a good foundational story to work from for AU purposes.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

The last two chapters of my CMBYN series, Piano Sonata in G Major, "Pense-bête", are so removed from fic expectations (one half of the ship is barely present/there's another, albeit temporary, love interest in one chapter, other nuanced themes are explored in the other) and are so labor-intensive. Every time I look at what I have drafted, I feel exhausted. I am not currently in a place where I can work on it, but I would like to finish it someday. So I can't say for sure that I won't do it, just not anytime soon.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Some nice language, in-character dialogue. Interest in improving.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Simplifying. Proofreading grammar.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

It's a LOT of work. However, I was very lucky when I was writing my CMBYN stories, which feature French and Italian dialogue. I got a tremendous amount of help from some lovely people.

That's partly the reason I haven't continued writing them. I don't like bugging people about translations. It's one thing to spend time writing stories, it's quite another to drag people into the vortex. Free labor is still labor.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

New Girl. Great readers, awesome betas. Really great place to start.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I have a lot of love for my co-written fic with @irazor, The Boyfriend Experience and my Nordic Noir story, Rest Easy.

- O -

Tagging @irazor, @imminentinertia, @cheesybadgers, @htbthomas, @khaotunqs, @codswalloping

[not-a-space-alien]

Hi everyone, I'm here to post a little one-shot I wrote for @whumpsday with their characters Jim and Kane. It's an expansion of this anon (written with permission).

The needed background for this piece of writing is that Kane, a vampire, took Jim captive for years to feed on his blood. Jim escaped eventually, and Kane was later captured and brutally tortured by vampire hunters for the same amount of time (delicious irony and poetic justice.) Jim heard about this and asked the vampire hunters to give Kane to him, planning to kill him and get closure, but Jim ended up feeling too bad for Kane to hurt him (Jim is too much of a softie for his own good). So now they're just sort of in this awkward place where reformed Kane is living locked in Jim's basement and they're both bogged down by horrible PTSD that the other keeps triggering.

This ficlet is rated T and has some warnings for fear, dehumanization, and mentions of torture and suicide, but nothing very graphic. The linked story that this is fanfiction of is very graphic and may be distasteful to some readers, so please use your best judgement and mind the tags and CW's.

Jim was cooking.

Kane liked it when Jim cooked.  The human seemed to enjoy it, even…before, when Kane had been providing him with supplies.  He’d never even noticed how much Jim had enjoyed it, thinking it just some chore to keep him alive.

Kane just sat on the couch in the next room, balled up, with his jacket hood pulled up.  It was hot; Jim was in a tank top, but the material comfort the jacket provided always far outweighed whatever sweat being overheated elicited…as did the blanket, which currently lay on his lap.

He just sat there watching Jim cook.  Jim was humming, happy.  Happy.  It felt good to see him happy and enjoying things.  Kane knew he could take no credit whatsoever for any happiness Jim had managed to make for himself despite everything, but he still couldn’t help feeling good about it.  Was it the feeling of the guilt lessening?  To think that maybe, maybe, maybe he hadn’t completely ruined the life of this unthinkably kind and soft and precious man and that, despite everything, he could still thrive.  Kane dared to feel just a little responsible for Jim’s happiness, imagining himself keeping Jim safe from any further harm while he huddled under his blanket on the couch.

He pulled the hood more tightly around his head, hoping to hide the awkward smile, lest Jim turn around and see and ask what he was smiling about.  He averted his eyes from the kitchen door, almost guiltily.  He fixed his eyes on the closed blinds, sunlight softened by the cutting slats glowing faintly.

He heard a sound.  It made him jump.  It was too quiet for Jim to hear, with his human hearing and his humming and the sizzling of his dinner, but to Kane it was plain as day.  A car door shutting.  No, a van.  A van…  Something about the sound sent fearful tremors up his spine, though he couldn’t place why.

He crept over to the blinds.  Maybe if didn’t get too close to the window, and didn’t let any direct sunlight actually touch him, he could see what was happening outside.  Just a peak.  Jim hadn’t mentioned anyone coming over.

With a finger trembling from instinctual fear from a deep, primal source, Kane drew one slat of the blinds down and looked out.

His subconscious mind had recognized the sound of the van because he’d heard this car before, too many times in fact, because it was the van which belonged to those hunters.  There were only two of them here now, but still—he recognized their faces, they were burned into his mind from the years and years they spent among the ones who loved to watch him writhe and scream in more pain that anyone like them could even ever experience.

He let the blind drop, electric panic surging through his body and locking all his limbs up.  No.  No no no no no no no no no no no no NO NO NO NO NO NO.

They were here. His torturers. Jim must have called them over.

Jim had said he wouldn’t.  Not under any circumstances.  And Kane had believed him.  How stupid of him.

Ironically, one of the hunters currently walking from Jim’s driveway across his ample lawn to the house had been among the more merciful ones during his time held captive by them.  She’d never hurt him as badly as the others did.  He had a Pavlovian response to seeing her face, associating her with safety, or at least less danger.  It wasn’t enough to suppress the burning panic mounting in his chest as they walked—Jim’s property was huge, and they’d opted to park off by his mailbox, a ways off, so he had maybe a minute or two before they got to the porch.

Jim wouldn’t do this.  He wouldn’t give Kane back to be tortured like that.  Kane hadn’t even done anything recently to be worried about, no lines crossed.

Jim wouldn’t do this.  Would he?  No, he’d said he wouldn’t. 

And you believed him? said that voice in the back of his head.  Are you stupid?

Jim was cooking enough food for three people or more, Kane realized as the hair on the back of his neck stood up.  He’d said he was meal prepping, but Kane suddenly knew the truth. Maybe they were going to string him up in the sun to laugh at him while they had a nice lunch together.

Of course all this mercy and gentleness had been too good to be true.  His gut had been telling him that the whole time.  His dreams that maybe, maybe, maybe the two of them could just live a gentler life started to crack, then finally break entirely as the reality of the situation set in.

If he didn’t take evasive action, he was going to go back.  Jim was no longer an ally.  Kane was on his own again.

Kane had said he wouldn’t try any funny business, but Jim had said he wouldn’t be going back to the hunters, so all bets were off.  He’d meant it earlier when he’d said he’d do anything to avoid going back to the hunters, including breaking Jim’s trust.

Including…

Including jumping out the window in the middle of the day.

Jim’s back was turned; he hadn’t been alerted to their approach yet.  The hunters were approaching from the opposite side of the house as where the opposing window in the dining room let out, on the back porch.  It was sunny, but there were intermittent clouds.  And the blanket.

This was not what Jim had given it to him for, and it hurt, ached, burned him to use the blanket to betray Jim.  But it didn’t burn as bad as the sun would burn him, or the hunter’s silver.

With shaking hands, Kane used his supernatural physical prowess to slide the window open, quietly, as quietly as he could, and roll out of the house.

He paused for a moment on the back porch, ears pricking.  Jim could still be heard humming as he cooked.  Humans were so deaf.

He looked out at the sunny lawn, filled with dandelions and weeds, knees shaking.  This was it.  His time here had expired.  He had to get out before they started hurting him again.

Another trainwreck of guilt slammed into him.  This must have been how Jim felt when he’d escaped from Kane, this overwhelming terror, the uncertainty of not knowing how you would feed yourself, or keep yourself safe, but not caring because you knew what awaited you if you stayed was far, far worse than anything you could imagine out there.

Breathing rapidly, overwhelmed tears already forming in his eyes, he pulled his socks up, pulled down the sleeves of the jacket, and threw his blanket over his head.  Not a single strip of exposed skin.  He could be safe.  He could do this.

He heard the voices of the hunters on the other side of the house, faintly.  He recognized them, heard them in his nightmares.  One of them knocked on the door.  It was now or never.

Maybe he could just start by crossing the lawn and getting into the shade of Jim’s toolshed.  There was a dilapidated wooden shed out there, by his failed attempts at gardening, which had a good strip of shade.

Kane put one foot down and felt the soft, warm grass and shuddered, retracting the limb.  Maybe he could wait for a cloud to pass over and block the sun?  He heard Jim’s voice at the front door.  Talking to them.  He gathered his courage, secured his blanket wrapped around his head, and dashed with preternatural speed…well, as fast as he could go with the ankle cuffs anyway, doing a ridiculous, high-speed shuffle.

He was across the lawn and into the shade in a matter of seconds, but it was the most agonizing, terrifying few seconds he’d experienced in a long time.  The sun was right there.  Nothing but a few layers of fabric kept it from him.  He could feel the slight singe from what managed to seep through.  If he took one misstep, tripped, he would burn, and he knew from experience that he could never stifle the scream.  The hunters would be on him in an instant.

Sweating, panting, shaking, Kane balled up in the shade of the shed, wrapping the blanket completely around himself.  What was he thinking?  Where could he go from here?  If he could make it into the woods…  Maybe he could run fast enough…There would be more shade there…He’d just need to hide till nightfall, the same way Jim had just needed to hide till daytime.  A sob caught in his throat.

This was awful.  He deserved to feel this.  Maybe he should just let Jim hand him over.

What was he thinking?  Staying out, staying away from them was the only thing that could ever matter anymore.

But…the sun…He sweat.  His nerves were already frayed almost past the point of being functional.  The sheer blinding panic of hearing the hunters going into Jim’s house made it so, so hard to think of what he should do.

He cracked the shed open and darted in.

It was dark inside.  Dark dark dark.  Good.  Safe.  He huddled in the corner, balling up, weeping.  They were here, for him.  Jim was going to give him back.  Kane had no idea Jim had the capacity to be so cruel.  It was almost like he’d given him the hope of a gentler, merciful life just for the pleasure of watching Kane squirm as he crushed that hope.

He'd never so sincerely wished he could die from something other than a wooden stake before. If he could die from blood loss, or shock, or asphyxiation, or burning (or blunt force trauma, or drowning, or...) then they would have to just pick one horrible thing to do to him, and just kill him. But his immortality had become the worst part of his curse, because he begged them to die over and over but all they wanted was to make him feel pain forever and ever, as long as he lived, which was forever unless someone took pity on him.

He deserved it. He was a monster. Not because he drank blood--there were a lot of things that were his fault, but that wasn't one of them. Because of the things he'd done, that made him so unwholly undeserving of mercy. It felt cowardly to want the easy way out. But he just couldn't take any more. He couldn't go back to living like that, fantasizing about comforts as small as wearing clothes and taking a bath and not being left out in the sun to burn for hours at a time.

Something sharp poked him.  A tool of some sort.  A shovel, or maybe a rake.  It had a wooden handle.  Kane immediately broke it in half and started manically filing the jagged edges into a point.

That’s what he was doing when Jim opened the door to the shed a while later, poking his head in.  Kane froze at the intrusion, stopping his activity.

“How…did you get out here?” Jim asked.  He sounded a little irritated, but more baffled than anything.

Kane opened his mouth to answer, remembered that Jim wasn’t his ally anymore, then whimpered and redoubled his efforts at filing the broken wood into a stake.

Jim came into the shed, opening the door as narrowly as possible to avoid letting the sunlight in, and closed it behind him.  Kane was sure that with his pitiful human eyesight, he could barely see anything, but Kane could see him perfectly.  He had a slightly annoyed and confused look on his face.  “Kane.  Come on.  You agreed no funny business.”

“You said you wouldn’t give me back to them,” Kane blubbered.  He’d meant to snap, but he’d definitely blubbered. He couldn't force the anger into his voice, only the fear and despair. "I-I-I-I know you have every right to--to, but you said you wouldn't..."

Jim sighed.  Kane could see the defeated look on his face in the dark.  “I’m not giving you back to them.”

Kane stopped his filing.  “Eh?  B-but you called them here.”

“I didn’t call them here.  They showed up unannounced.  Which is pretty fucking rude, but whatever.”

“Well—well if they aren’t here to take me, then why are they here?”

“Well, according to them, they happened to be in the neighborhood and decided to stop by and check on me.”

Kane clutched the half-formed wooden stake against his chest, point up by his face, face still frozen in indecision.

Jim held his hands out in the dark.  “I know you’re scared of them, but that was still a dick move to leave the house.”

Kane managed to snap this time.  “You would rather I just sit there and let them take me?”

“They’re not going to take you,” said Jim.  “I already told you, I’m not giving you back to them.  They just asked to see you before heading out.  I guess maybe they were worried since they haven’t heard from me?”  He rubbed the back of his head.  “Uh…I think maybe they expected me to call them and tell them I killed you a while ago.”

Jim said it like he expected Kane to be scared at the mention of killing him.  Kane just hugged the stake he’d been trying to hastily fashion to kill himself with.  “Uh, but, well,” said Kane.  “I—I can’t imagine they’ll be—be very happy to see, to see that you’ve been feeding me.  They’ll see me as a threat again.”

Jim rolled his eyes.  “They’re not going to see you as a threat.  Come on, I’m sure they’ll leave as soon as they see I didn’t just turn you loose in the woods to let you prey on innocents.”

“You don’t know that,” Kane said.  Too loudly, too angrily.  Jim flinched, and guilt and shame crashed over Kane.  He tucked himself back against the wall, making himself small, making his voice a whisper.  “I—I’m sorry, Jim, I—I just—You—You’re not taking this seriously.  B-because even if you say you won’t give me back, if—if they decide to take me back anyway, it’s not like there’s much you can do about it.”

Jim froze.  Clearly he hadn’t thought of that.  Kane envied that.  Kane’s brain only thought of ways in which he, Kane, could get hurt very very badly all day every day.

“All right,” said Jim, “You’re right, I’m not taking your concern seriously.  I’m sorry.”

That was the first time Jim had ever said I’m sorry to him.  It felt wrong.  Jim was apologizing to him?  To him, Kane?  Jim could never owe Kane an apology no matter what horrible things he did to him.

“So,” said Jim, “what then?  If we show them you’re not a threat, and I have you under control, that’ll make you happy?  To get them to leave?”

He nodded vigorously.  The motion became less vigorous as he started to realize what that would mean.

“Wait right there,” said Jim.  “I’ll be right back.”

As Jim crept back out the door, trying to minimize the intrusion of the light into the shed, Kane tried to curl himself up even more tightly.  He wanted to ask what he’d done to deserve this, but he already knew.

He came back a few minutes later, accompanied by the familiar clinking of chains.  “Okay, we’ll just put this on, and I’ll take you back in there and show them you’re not a threat.”

Kane stood up, but couldn’t muster up the courage to move his legs forward.  He could very, very faintly hear their voices from inside the house.  Laughing, just like they’d laughed before, cruel laughter.

“Um,” said Jim, and he was already holding out the cuffs.  “I kind of need you to drop that to put these on.”

Very, very reluctantly, Kane dropped his half-finished wooden stake.  Jim gently fastened the cuffs onto his wrists.

“On my back,” said Kane anxiously.  “Put my hands behind me, if they can see my hands, if they think I can—”

“All right,” said Jim, “chill out, I’ll redo it.”

He unlocked his wrists.  Kane turned around, and Jim re-locked them.  While he was there, Jim laid the muzzle gently over his face and went to buckle it around his hair.

“Put the bit in too,” said Kane, and Jim could feel the panicked tears rolling down his cheeks as he tried to adjust the wire caging on his face.  “So I can’t talk.  So I can’t say anything stupid—to make it worse.”

Jim put his hands on Kane’s shoulder blades.  “Kane.  Relax.”

Kane never wanted to admit how much he lived for those rare moments where Jim gave him gentle, comforting touches.  He thought it was probably the only thing that could have calmed him down at that moment.  He steeled himself.  “Yes.  Sorry, Jim.”

“Do you really want me to put the bit in?”

“Yes.”

Jim lowered the muzzle so he could slide the bit into Kane’s mouth.  He bit down on it like a man grinding his teeth in pain.  He could very faintly feel the tips of his fangs burning as they sliced through whatever the coating was made of and grazed the silver core of the device, but the slight pain grounded him.  Jim buckled the muzzle—not too tight.  He was the only man Kane had ever known to buckle a muzzle comfortably.

“Okay,” said Jim, cracking the shed door open.  “Come on, then.”

Kane flinched at the movement that came next, but of course it was just Jim putting the blanket over Kane’s head.  Kind, gentle Jim.  How could Kane have ever thought, even in his most manic streams of consciousness, that he would carelessly hand him back to the hunters?  Kane had tried to run away, and Jim was still thoughtful enough to shield him from the sun.

This placid, comforting line of thought was interrupted as Jim tried to move him forward and Kane suddenly realized what was happening.  He was going to be in the same room as the hunters, who’d see him as a threat, and he would be completely helpless during it.  The only thing standing between Kane and going back to that living hell, that never-ending nightmare, was Jim’s reassurances that he would be doing all the talking.  Was he stupid?  Was he really this stupid?  It would literally be easier for Jim to just let them have him at this point.  To give him back. Jim had no incentive whatsoever to make good on his promise to not give him back. Jim hated his guts. Somehow Jim was kind to him despite hating his guts, but that could give out at any moment.

“Come on, let’s go,” said Jim, and despite his kind tone it reminded Kane just a little too much of the way the hunters had prompted him to let’s go outside into the sun, with no blanket.

Kane’s legs locked up.  His teeth ground on the bit anxiously, his fight or flight reflexes urging him to take some animal action to protect himself.  He didn’t move. He couldn't force himself to get any closer to the source of his overwhelming terror.

--

Jim sighed.  Jim had gotten considerably more muscular in the intervening years, whereas Kane still remained surprisingly small and light by vampire standards, so Jim had suspected that he could pick the vampire up if he needed to.  He had avoided doing it until now, but the sniveling coming from under the blanket and the knocking knees told him he might be better off just carrying him rather than waiting for him to get his nerves up.  Besides, maybe if the hunters saw him carry Kane in, that would reaffirm that Jim was in control here…they didn’t need to know he was doing it because Kane was paralyzed by fear.

Jim knelt and gently leaned Kane onto his shoulder, then stood and draped him over.  Jim grabbed whatever part of him he needed to stabilize the vampire over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, then realized with slight embarrassment that it had been Kane’s ass.  Kane didn’t mention it, and neither did Jim.  Jim adjusted the blanket on the quivering mass over his shoulder, making sure nothing was exposed, and pushed the shed door open.

It was such a nice day.  Birds were tweeting.  The grass felt warm and soft under Jim’s feet.  Kane started to sob as the sun warmed him through the blanket.  It sounded like maybe he was trying to get some muffled words out.  Jim was kind of glad he couldn’t talk, because Jim would probably be feeling really guilty about whatever he was saying.

“Ah, you found it,” said one of the hunters, Jackie, as he came back in.  She was sitting at Jim’s kitchen table with her feet propped up, drinking a glass of lemonade.  “You had me worried for a second, what with how you looked around the house with that panicked look.”

“I, uh, forgot that I’d locked him in the shed today,” said Jim.  He set Kane down on the couch, relieved that he no longer had to feel the heaving sobs wracking the vampire’s chest.

“Nice of you to put a blanket over,” said the other hunter, a man named Russel.  He said it with some slight disapproval.  Jim noted Kane’s trembling redouble at the sound of his voice.  “And I see you’re still using those padded cuffs.  What’s the matter?  You’re not afraid to hurt it, are you? Afraid of what it'll do?"

“Oh, uh…” said Jim, suddenly at a loss. Why would they even ask him that stupid question? Who cared why he used padded cuffs? Why'd he have to justify not being a complete monster? Now this fucking sucked.  He’d dismissed Kane’s concerns, completely not worried, and suddenly he actually didn’t know what to say?  Maybe Kane had been right to be scared, but that wasn’t the right thing to think with Kane right there, completely helpless and completely dependent on Jim to do the talking.

He felt a pang of guilt.  Guilt.  He resented Kane, so, so much every time that motherfucker made him feel bad for him.  But he couldn’t help it this time.  Jim promised Kane he wouldn’t make him go through anything worse than Kane had done to Jim, but given the symmetry of their feelings about fear of being recaptured, this was definitely lop-sided.  This wasn’t like Jim’s years of self-inflicted fear, worrying that Kane was going to come for him.  This was like if someone had grabbed Jim, told him to stop being a baby, and locked him in Kane’s basement again with a reassurance they barely seemed to care about that nothing bad would happen to him.

Jim could hear sniffling from under the blanket, and another wave of tremors wracked Kane’s frame.

“No,” said Jim.  “Uh, no, it’s—it’s psychological.”

The two hunters looked at each other.  “Psychological torture?” said Jackie.

Jim removed the blanket from Kane’s head.  Kane was red-faced, tears sliding down his cheeks, ugly-crying with snot dibbling down his chin, grinding his teeth on the bit.

“Woah!” said Jackie.  “Jesus, you barely even touched it and it’s already crying like a baby!”

“Did you know,” said Russel, “the first time we left it out in the sun, it literally cried for its mommy?”

Jackie cracked a smile.  “It was so fucking satisfying.  My first kill was a vampire that was trying to feed on a child.”

Kane averted his eyes, humiliated.

Jim couldn’t help feeling a little stunned at that.  How bad did being in the sun have to hurt Kane to cause that?  The old Kane he’d known would never in a million years acknowledge he loved his mother, let alone call to her for help and comfort.

“Have you…been feeding it?” said Russel.  “It’s—”

“Fuck, you’re right, Rus,” said Jackie.  “Wh-What the fuck?”

Russel started to stand, hand on his weapon.  “Is…is that fucker using persuasion on you?  Was he just pretending he couldn’t and played the long con here?”

Despite Kane’s earlier insistence that he shouldn’t be allowed to say anything for fear of messing up, he let out a muffled, anguished moan around the bit and shook his head.  It was clear what he was trying to convey.  No, no, no.  You give me too much credit.  I’m a monster, but you think I’m a much bigger one than I actually am.

“I’m just giving him some blood every once in a while,” said Jim.  “Er, it’s because I, uh, can do more things to him if he heals from things faster.”

It sounded incredibly lame, but it also didn’t sound like someone who’d been secretly mind-controlled.  In the ensuing silence, Kane let out a doomed sob.

“Like I said.  Mostly psychological.”

“Right…” said Jackie.  “Well, we just came to check on you because we hadn’t heard from you about killing that thing, and it’s kind of our responsibility to make sure it’s not a threat, ya know?  If you can’t keep it under control, we might have to t—”

“There’s no need to take him back,” Jim said hastily.  “I’m totally in control.”

“Prove it,” said Russ.  “Make it bow to you.”

Jim felt so disgusted by this completely unnecessary bullying.  But before he could even say anything, Kane had already fallen to the ground and prostrated himself, forehead in the carpet, hands in the air above his back.

“Come on, Russ, no vampire that was in control here would let itself be restrained like that.”  Jackie stood up.  “I think I’ve seen enough.  Jim, play whatever weird games you want with it, just maybe…make sure you keep better track of it.  If you lose it, we’ll be in trouble.  Not to mention responsible for anyone who gets hurt.”

“Right,” said Jim.  “Now please leave.”

Kane watched the two hunters leave with wide, shaky eyes.  Jim stood at the window and peered out, watching their van back up and turn around, heading back onto the highway.

Jim let out a tired breath.  “Geez.”  He came over to where Kane was still kneeling on the carpet and unbuckled the muzzle, slipping the bit out.  “Sorry about that.”  A second apology.  It felt ashen in his mouth, but the way Kane was still paralyzed with terror, nerves obviously completely shot, made him feel like he had no other option.

Kane stayed completely silent as Jim unlocked the cuffs on his wrists, leaving the ankle cuffs on. 

Jim noticed the notches on the bit where Kane’s teeth had bitten into it hard.  “Uh…you okay there?”

Kane stood numbly, not saying anything, but he swiped the notepad off the table nearby.  The notepad he was allowed to use to ask for anything without Jim getting mad at him.

He scribbled on it, then tore off the page and handed it to Jim wordlessly, face incredibly red.

Jim looked at the paper.  It said A hug.

Jim made a sound that was half-laugh, half-groan.  “Fuck it.  Why not.  Everything about the past few months has been ridiculous already.”

He held his arms open.  Kane shuffled forward and wrapped his arms around Jim’s torso, just below Jim’s arms.  His face hovered for a moment before he lowered it into Jim’s chest, carefully avoiding placing it near his neck.  Jim felt the front of his shirt get all gross where Kane’s face was on it.

“Thank you,” said Kane, voice so, so small.  “I know I say it so much—but I wish there was a way to make you see how much I mean it.”

Jim patted his hair again, a repeat of that awkward motion when Kane had gotten his bath.  “Well…Since you’ll be sticking around, maybe you’ll find some way to show me you mean it, huh?”

[mannatea]

Break Open the Sky, a Tales of Symphonia ‘fic (Chapter 12)

Current Word Count: 97,018 Summary: What kind of “Hero” of Regeneration would she be to leave an infant to fend for itself? Someone had to have left it here for a reason. The question was, of course, why? But as she lifted the little thing carefully into her arms, the motion reminding her of nights so far in the past, now, the why seemed almost tragically clear: this baby was of mixed blood. Chapter Summary: Raine makes the difficult decision regarding what to do with baby Rose. Pairing/Characters: Raine, Original Characters, will also feature Genis, Regal, and Sheena. Endgame is Regal/Raine. Extra Info: This is technically an Accidental Baby Acquisition story, but I liken it more to “Doorstep Baby” literature because it sure ain’t cute. Rating: Mature, for themes. Genre: Eventual romance, gen, family, character study.

The title is the link to Ao3 for Chapter 12! (This is the next to last chapter!)

Notes are under the cut!

I thought this chapter was totally fine until I went to read it again yesterday and I hated so, so much of it. It felt awkward and stilted in places, and I swear characters were logic leaping to kingdom come in the dialogue.

Anyway, after rewriting half of the damn thing yesterday and today, I hope it passes inspection.

--

Sara as the secretary: I pulled this name from the RP that I did with an old friend but I'm not sure if she made that up or if it's in the game. Either way, it's in this story now because my bestie is Sara and I think it's funny.

--

I hope someone noticed Raine's little bouts of jealousy lmao.

--

There's a tiny bit more about Sybak here, though all the big juicy stuff is slated for the sequel, which I still haven't finished outlining. (I did get pretty close though.)

--

Finally, Raine's decision. I don't recommend reading this section if you haven't read the chapter yet, but if you want to read it anyway, who am I to stop you?

WARNING: This got really long and meanders a bit. SORRY.

Throughout this story, I've tried to make a serious effort to show the ways in which Raine cares for Rose, but also the ways in which she just...doesn't. There is resentment there. There is unhappiness. If Rose was her biological child, you'd think she had Post-Partum Depression. She takes care of the baby, but it's rarely written in a tender or sweet way. At one point in the story I even had Regal note that she seemed to do things automatically, almost without thinking about the fact that she was doing them. She has moments with Rose that are sweet but these were meant to feel like outliers and there aren't enough of them to balance the times in which she just kind of mindlessly takes care of her.

I don't count the sailing experiences against Raine, by the way; she did her best on the ship to Altamira, and on Regal's sailboat she was dealing with a lot (and he was there to help).

I do feel with time, she probably would grow much more attached to Rose, and love her more fully, but none of that would come without a cost, and...we've seen a glimpse of what that cost is.

Keep in mind that when I was outlining this story, Lila and Marcie didn't exist, so...the only company Raine had during the day for those months in Altamira was Rose! In this outline, Raine was torn between very badly wanting her life back, and also finding it difficult to go back to the way things used to be. It's also important to note that Regal really did not want to influence her either way in the original outline. This is mostly because he had grown rather attached to Rose but knew his opinion SHOULD not matter.

The romance between Raine and Regal was a lot more important in the original outline too. I doubt anyone would have guessed that because it's such a centerpiece in the finished product, but the original outline had gems like this in it:

-she's trying very hard not to love him (there are just SO many reasons why she's not good enough, but she's also very afraid of getting hurt). Like she knows he's a good man and any hurt feelings will just be of her own creation. still, watching the way he spends time with rose stirs something in her. -(she loves him already, feels like the incident at the party was her doing/fault because she couldn't keep a tight enough lock on her feelings when inebriated and regrets it, but still to this day can't quite harden her heart against him)

(In the original most of her attachment to Rose was formed through Regal, too, like watching him rock her to sleep when she just couldn't do it herself.)

With Lila and Marcie around, I didn't have to go into full on Yearning Mode and things were able to quietly and naturally develop between them with most of the yearning coming from Regal. Yay.

I s t r u g g l e d (AND I DO MEAN STRUGGLED) to decide which choice Raine would make in the end, even in the outline.

Just like in the finished story, Regal guides her toward a choice, though in the original outline he asks her more questions about Rose: if she wants to raise Rose to adulthood, if she wants to oversee her education, if she wants to raise her like a daughter and not a sister. His final question is, "Do you think you can love her?"

To which Raine says she already does.

This gave me two paths:

Raine keeps Rose because she loves her already and points Sheena toward the Crestfield Orphanage and the children there that kind of haunt her (in the original this was a group of 4 or 5 children instead of the brother & sister that ended up in the final draft).

Raine knows that Sheena will provide a better life for Rose than she can and gives her up even though it's difficult for her because she loves Rose.

I knew I wanted someone to adopt, but both Sheena and Raine were good fits for it, and it ended up being more about the kind of story I wanted to tell with Raine and with Sheena and "Found Family" and all of that.

There is a very real kind of love and trust in Raine handing over a baby she cares about to Sheena, someone she has had to learn to trust.

This is ultimately why I chose Sheena.

The original outline played a lot more, too with Raine's identity as a "parent" (particularly against her own will). Regal was originally going to tell her that while she did a good job raising Genis she does have an identity outside of that and if she wants to revisit it she can do that literally whenever; she can have her own biological kids or adopt and she can plan for it.

This also gets to the heart of some of Raine's larger fears in the original outline, which were eventual resentment toward Rose, and knowledge that the origin of Rose in her life could be negative in the future.

Anyway, especially in the version of the story I ended up writing, which included Marcie and Lila, I can't see Rose working out with Raine in a healthy or fun way. Like I said earlier, we got a glimpse of what the cost would be of keeping Rose, and let's just say that it wouldn't be pretty.

Raine thinks briefly in this chapter about her likely future doing physical labor trying to feed an adult, two growing children, and a baby, and you can chew on that for a while if you want to, but I didn't want to explore it. (She's suffered enough.)

--

My biggest annoyance with this chapter was getting Raine to actually make a decision. She's not a very impulsive person, so of course she'd want to think about it, but she's got a lot of issues to work through and no therapist to work through them with.

Regal's as good as it gets for her and he's not objective by any means. If you couldn't tell, he feels he knows what's best for everyone is giving Rose to Mizuho. He doesn't come out and say it immediately because he doesn't want to be That Guy.

But things sorta end up that way anyway, because Raine spends so much of the chapter stuck in a loop: struggling with feeling like she's following in her mother's footsteps by giving Rose away and fighting it almost desperately in her own mind. And to her own detriment!

Like, she's always been an incredibly responsible person; the fact that she raised Genis starting at age 11 makes that clear. I do think, however, that sometimes she takes it a bit too far and overreaches. Rose is perhaps an example of that. (She was definitely in over her head. But she was given responsibility?? What else could she do? Something something older sister Surface Pressure vibes.)

Obviously her capacity to care about others and do the right thing come into play here, right along with "saving the people right in front of us" but sometimes the right thing to do, the right way to save someone, isn't to take personal responsibility for them.

Raine was traumatized by her experience. Not only was she abandoned, but she was given responsibility of a literal infant at the same time. At 11 years old. She has a very hard time separating these two things and Rose feeds right into it in the worst ways. (It also wasn't the only time Raine has felt abandoned by someone in her life, so you can see why she'd feel so terrible about doing that to someone else, even a baby who won't remember it later.)

Raine knew all along what the objectively better choice was, but she couldn't choose it as long as she had other stuff in her head telling her she was being irresponsible/selfish/lazy/just as bad as her mother.

She needed someone else to tell her that giving Rose away isn't the same as her mother giving her up. She needed to hear someone else's voice in her head—not her own and not her mother's.

This was intended to sort of mimic Regal's line to her in the OVA where he says that surely her mother hadn't abandoned her, but rather...sent her through the Gate hoping Sylvarant would be a better life for her.

I hope Raine's cyclical struggle in her own mind came across believably enough in this chapter. (But if it didn't, feel free to criticize that, especially if you have ideas of ways I could have done it better.)

--

Now that Raine's decision has been made, there will be some emotional fallout. You can't learn to let go without some pain, after all.

So stay tuned for the final chapter to see that! :)

[erseac]

Year-end wrap

I dunno, I just felt like writing something. This year has been a lot of fun in terms of writing fanfic for me!

I started writing smut fics, and I found that I really enjoy it. Whether I'm any good at it, dunno, that's for you to tell, but I do know that I enjoy re-reading my stories.

I also wrote smut poetry for the first time, and I can tell you that I am definitely not good at it. But I did have a lot of fun, and now for any new fic I can say "at least this is not the silliest thing I ever wrote".

As part of that I also started this E-rated second account, both here and on Tumblr, which was interesting (I'm nowhere near active enough on this Tumblr). And I started using Discord, which was a lot of fun. I'm not the most active Discorder, but the talk and community there is way different from what I was used to on just Tumblr and Ao3. I really appreciate all of you!

Current state: Six proper fics and one silly poem. The arguably best and certainly most popular is Fancy Jewelry. My personal favorite is definitely For Science!, though.

Future outlook: I started November with six active WIPs (more or less, leaning towards less), working titles (feel free to ask for details if you're interested):

Nino (multi-chapter)

Adrinette (multi-chapter)

Revealatrix (one-shot)

Chlobrinette (one-shot)

Cruise (multi-chapter)

Alyagaminette (one-shot)

My plan was to finish one of those first before starting something new.

Since then I started something new, specifically

Chloé pictures (three chapters)

But I wasn't going to start anything new before finishing that.

Before finishing that I also started

Marigami misunderstanding (one-shot)

The latter will probably be the first one I post, although most likely next year. The first draft is done, I just hate it and have to rewrite all of it to be better. But I know what's missing and how to write it, so that shouldn't be an issue. I'm just waiting for a bit (and working on Chloé pictures in the meantime, plus some offline stuff) until my hatred for the first draft has died down, and I can re-read it and go "actually some parts of this aren't terrible".

Or maybe I'll start another WIP. I saw this one prompt that… no, I'll try to stay focused for now.

[sanzu-sanzu-sanzu]

Fanfic Writer Questionnaire

woohoo <3

List all the fandoms you have written in:

blue lock, tokyo Rrevengers, haikyu!!, prince of tennis, katekyo hitman reborn, yu-gi-oh hahahaha

How many published fics have you written?

29 currently plus last time i checked i had 25+ on fanfiction.net so like, 55+

In terms of wordcount, in which fandom have you written the most?

i don’t have the exact numbers now ‘cause AO3 is down HAHA but most likely tokyo revengers

At the moment, which one of your fics is your favorite/you are the most proud of? (you can include unpublished fics)

my favorites, as well as the two i’m by far proudest of are cheesecake, smoke, and mirrors (my last sanzu fic) and my ongoing sae x reader, hungry hearts. the cheesecake fic felt like, that one sanzu story that i’ve always wanted to write for myself. hungry hearts is like, every single fun thing i’ve learned and experienced in the process of writing my other multi-chapter fics in the past, i’m able to appreciate those things more this time, twice as much. i can’t explain it any other way hahaha.

Which writer (fanfiction or not) inspires your own work?

i very very very much admire kazuo ishiguro’s layered and understated writing. i’m also inspired by the fearlessness and grace of carmen maria machado’s words (i try my best!!!). and i don’t know if this counts, but i am also unable to shake off the tendency to be as matter-of-fact and dry as david foster wallace...which i am usually wary of not because DFW is bad (it’s the opposite!!!!), but because it takes skill to really pull it off 😭😭😭 and i can’t!

What was your first fanfic about?

lololollll it was a katekyo hitman reborn fic. OC whose uniform ribbon gets askew, and hibari the prefect reprimands her.

Out of all the characters whose POV you have written, which one do you feel you identify the most with?

oh god hahaha. i think sakusa kiyoomi. it’s his being lowkey, just wants to do the best he can. results are not in his control so he derives happiness just from doing things well.

What do you feel is your biggest challenge when writing?

i have to stop rereading old fics/chapters and then coming up with ideas/ways i could’ve written certain portions and then regretting my decisions. i guess my biggest challenge would be letting go of the idea of perfection. 

Do you generally outline your fics or do you prefer to write spontaneously and then revise?

i do an outline, but sometimes the outline (depending on how inspired i am at that particular moment) could turn into a rough draft, and then i write the thing For Real on a separate document.

Which one of your fanfics has the most hits? the most comments? the most kudos? (if applicable)

just from what i remember since again AO3 is down at the moment 😭

most hits: i want to love you in my own language (which is basically a compilation of all my TR one-shots) most comments: songs about toxic people most kudos: freedomscapes (my sakusa fic)

What proportion, if any, of your fics are rated M or above (# of M-plus fics/ total # of fics)?

i think…like 80%.

Finally, tease us with the title of one of your upcoming fics:

hahaha no title yet, but i am planning on writing another sae fic. i could tease the next chapter of hungry hearts, though! the title is going to be In media res.

***

yay, thanks for reading! 🕷 

[quoteablebooks]

Genre: Fiction, Fantasy, Romance, New Adult

Rating: 2 out of 5

Trigger Warning: Death, Sexual Content, Violence, Death of parent, War, Bullying

Summary: Twenty-year-old Violet Sorrengail was supposed to enter the Scribe Quadrant, living a quiet life among books and history. Now, the commanding general—also known as her tough-as-talons mother—has ordered Violet to join the hundreds of candidates striving to become the elite of Navarre: dragon riders. But when you’re smaller than everyone else and your body is brittle, death is only a heartbeat away... because dragons don’t bond to “fragile” humans. They incinerate them. With fewer dragons willing to bond than cadets, most would kill Violet to better their own chances of success. The rest would kill her just for being her mother’s daughter—like Xaden Riorson, the most powerful and ruthless wingleader in the Riders Quadrant. She’ll need every edge her wits can give her just to see the next sunrise. Yet, with every day that passes, the war outside grows more deadly, the kingdom's protective wards are failing, and the death toll continues to rise. Even worse, Violet begins to suspect leadership is hiding a terrible secret. Friends, enemies, lovers. Everyone at Basgiath War College has an agenda—because once you enter, there are only two ways out: graduate or die. .

*Opinions*

Listen, I know that so many people love this book and it is currently the hot read of the summer. I am happy that this world and these characters pulled people in and wouldn’t let them go. I am happy that Rebecca Yaros has found so much success and wish her the best. But, y’all, this book is not good. Now, it isn’t rage-inducingly bad like some books that I’ve read, but I am absolutely baffled that this book has such a high rating. This is going to be a critical review, so if you can’t handle that please continue on your way and have a lovely day. Let's start with the most basic thing that I had a problem with, the language that is used in this novel. Romantic Fantasy can be whatever it wants, but the language that was used in this novel pulled on so much modern-day slang that it pulled me out of the story again and again. The one that stood out to me was something “for the win, I guess”. In a fantasy novel that has dragons on a completely different planet, we are using “for the win”? That just doesn’t work for me. If I had to read about Violet’s head “tingling” one more time when Xaden was near I was going to start taking shots. Also, it felt as if Yaros just used the word “fuck” because she felt like it would make the novel seem more adult and not because it actually fits the story beat that was happening or what was being said by the characters. I have nothing against swearing, but just saying “fuck” for the hell of it seemed really juvenile and not conveying anger or even enhance whatever was happening in the scene. I quite frankly cannot call this “enemies to lovers” since Xaden mentioned, numerous times, that she was not his enemy and he did not want to kill her. Violet just refuses to believe that even though he could have killed her, literally multiple times, and she even thinks that, but still he has to want to kill her because…drama I guess. Xaden never does anything to harm her, even before she is bonded to his dragon's mate, and while she is agnostic toward him, he never does anything to her. In fact, I can almost guarantee you that in the next book, the character revealed at the end of the book will have talked about Violet a lot so he will have “loved her before he even knew her”. I can almost call it because this book is so damn predictable. Also, even when Violet is supposed to hate the big bad son of the traitor, all she talks about is how hot he is, constantly, all the time. The way that this man is objectified throughout most of the novel is actually kind of uncomfortable. He could have had “love interest” on his forehead in Sharpie and it would have been more subtle. Speaking of things that were supposed to be a thing and weren’t shown in the writing, the belief that Dain was going to be anything but a pain in the ass. We get all these words about how he is her best friend and he knew her better than anyone, which is seen nowhere in their actual conversations. Dain does nothing in this novel but yells at her, constantly, about everything. He is never her friend let alone an option for a love interest. I never trusted this man and therefore nothing he does in this novel was surprising or like “Oh my god, how could he.” He could because he is awful and has been the whole time, keep up. Violet was a possession, not a person, and he was mad that someone might break his toy. His dialogue was annoying, he was annoying, and Xaden was right to say that she gave him so many chances when he was being an ass constantly. I thought every character in this novel was rather flat, even Violet and Xaden are not super flushed out until the last five chapters. I did not care when anyone died because they were just names who we got a couple of facts about right before they were slaughtered. In fact, let’s talk about the cardboard cutout of a villain that is Jack Barlow. He was so god damn ridiculously evil and shitty that I couldn’t take him seriously. This man is just murdering people left, right, and center for no reason and there is no motivation other than “hating the weak.” Seriously? That is his motivation? I never thought that he would kill VIolet, not because she was the main character, but because he was such a not character that it wouldn’t make narrative sense. Then again, there is a lot in this novel that doesn’t make narrative sense. The only characters who had a good bit of personality are the dragons. Tairn and Andarna had a lot of personality in the little amount of dialogue we got from them and they were the best part of this book honestly. Once they entered the novel it got a lot better. I am not going to talk about disability representation as I am not disabled. I will say that Violet’s insistence on attempting to ride on her own even though there is no way that her body would be able to was slightly frustrating as a story beat. The story's reason is that Tarin would not be able to channel his full power if he is keeping her seat, but then she also pushes against the saddle because “everyone will know I can’t keep my seat”. Babe, you have been falling multiple times every flying session, if they didn’t see it they would have heard about it by now. I am not saying anything about disabled people feeling like they have to prove they can do what other people can, but that statement that “everyone will know” is what got me. They already know. There are multiple times throughout the novel that Violet does this, not just about her disability, when she says “I don’t want everyone to know x” but has done x in front of everyone multiple times at this point. Like, what? Speaking of “not wanting everyone to know”, neither she nor Xaden are subtle about anything in their entire relationship. She calls him by his first name, her COMMANDING OFFICER IN WAR COLLEGE, and no one calls her out about it. She regularly flips him off for everyone to see, HER COMMANDING OFFICER and no one says anything about it. They spare in front of everyone and he lays on her and whispers in her ear for an uncomfortable amount of time. Yet, they both act like they are keeping their feelings secret from everyone. It makes less than no sense. It was as if they thought everyone was blind and no one would know that she was getting special treatment while obviously getting special treatment constantly. Now, let’s talk about the romance and the weirdly timed sex scenes. Xaden doesn’t change his behaviors at all, it is Violet who changes her opinion about him even though he doesn’t change anything he is doing at all. Also, MULTIPLE TIMES, Xaden warns Violet that he is keeping secrets and he can’t tell her everything and then she gets pissed when she finds out he was keeping secrets and didn’t tell her everything? Like, that scene could have still played out the same way given what he was lying about, but the whole “I am so hurt because you lied to me and I opened my heart and you didn’t.” He basically told you he wasn’t completely open to you, you didn’t listen, like you didn’t for most of the novel, Violet. That’s on you. I can guarantee that she is going to be pissed at him in the second novel for keeping the individual we meet at the end secret from her and it’s going to be so damn annoying. Let’s not even talk about the fact they say “I love you” during sex. Please, spare me. Then, the kissing and sex scenes all come at the most ridiculous times. I might be able to forgive the dragon bond sex makeout scene because I do think that the between-the-lines reading is that the dragons are attempting to get them together and so they left the channel open. However, suddenly being hot and heavy making out when a moment ago Violet was so worried about her sister's life that she had to be physically carried away? Excuse me? Multiple times she is upset or angry and then suddenly she and Xaden are kissing and that’s all that matters and I have to listen to how they are playing tonsil hockey for a couple of pages. Seriously what was with all the frenching? The poor timing of these scenes makes Violet seem extremely fickle and selfish when most of her arc is about how she is attempting to be a good person in a college that does not reward that. Also, while Violet has been training to strengthen herself throughout the novel, she still has to wrap her knees and her shoulders for long flights, yet she can have sex that breaks MULTIPLE pieces of furniture and doesn’t hurt any part of her body? Like They have sex SO HARD that the ARMOR BREAKS but she doesn’t pull or hurt anything? Again, I don’t have a disability, but given everything we were shown in the story, it was almost comical in a bad way. Don’t get me started on the fact she throws lightning around when she orgasms because… I am going to stop here because I could probably write another 1500 words about the issues I have with this novel. That being said, I have read worse and probably will get the second one from the library when it comes out. I am so happy that I didn’t buy this novel and I will not be rereading this before the next novel comes out. I am pretty sure I can remember the plot of this novel as it all happens in the last six chapters for the most part. I am giving this 1.5 stars rounded up to two because this wasn’t good, but it was compulsively readable and I guess I can see why others might like it.

[magickhajiit]

The Disgraced Son- Chapter 11 (SOA Fanfic)

Additional Chapters here

Other SOA stories here

Archive of our own version here

Rating- Mature Audiences

Warning (for the story rather than each individual chapter)- violence, injury, mentions of emotional/ psychological abuse (mostly in the past), hints to cannon S assault (but no explicit mention)

After a week of attempting to convince Juice to head to therapy, Chibs brought out his secret weapon, in the shape of Venus Van Damn. In the last couple of weeks, the both of them have formed a mother son relationship that Tig won’t stop teasing Juice about. And after Chibs left them in the living room for just ten minutes Juice walked out into the kitchen with him. He slid up beside next to him so he could he could help with the pots and muttered quietly that maybe therapy wasn’t such a bad idea after all. Chibs pushed down any smugness he felt about being right and just nodded his agreement. The same day he’d booked an appointed with a Dr Arthur, the best therapist he could afford in Charming, an extra wad of cash had been placed outside her door at night thanking her for her discretion.

Juice is currently sat in her office, the walls are painted a calming blue colour and every item seems to be precisely placed, from the papers neatly stacked on her desk, the owl shaped clock ticking away on the wall and the wide range of seating dispersed around the room: desk chairs, sofas and a few bean bags in the corner. Before the session he watched her alter the pen on her desk a few times, he wonders if she's like him, haunted by the relentless inch to conquer and fix everything surrounding her, he wonders whether she has bottles of pills at home too, that were first shoved into her hand after the diagnosis of OCD left the Doctor’s lips. Before they start Claire walks over to her radio, it looks like it could have been plucked from an 80s movie, after she flicks one of the buttons orchestral music permeates the room, Juice supposes it's meant to put him at ease but instead it gives the situation an artificial feeling that makes his palms sweat even more.

His fears are quickly laid to rest though, none of the questions are combative or invasive and the thought of Chibs sitting just outside keeps the rising panic at bay. The inquiries cover plenty in their first hour, from his time under Roosevelt’s thumb to being laid at Jax’s cruel mercy. They don’t wander onto the subject of Stockton just yet, the first mention of it sends his heart racing so frantically he can hear it, repeatably pulsing in his head. They steer clear of it after that.

An hour later he’s feeling the pride that comes with completing the first counselling session. Afterwards she handed him a laminated card with her number printed on it, in case of an emergency she said. There's an owl logo on the back of it. Juice silently acknowledges that she’s a bit of an oddball but he wouldn’t be stood in front of her if he wasn’t the same.

Chibs is still waiting in the van for Juice, his arms propped against the door, flicking through articles on his phone. He’d already spoken to Dr Arthur, or Claire as she insists he calls her, and he’s more open to the idea than when Venus first suggested them getting a therapy animal. Most of the articles centred around therapy dogs but Chibs couldn’t abide the slobbering creatures, always peeing and chewing things that they shouldn’t be. He could deal with something less high maintenance though, maybe a cat although truth be told he’d rather just get a goldfish, he can’t see that helping Juice though.

Juice's eyes are slightly red rimmed when he gets into the van but his smile seems genuine enough when he greets Chibs. Waiting until he had scrubbed his face with a couple of tissues and settled in Chibs speaks ‘’Want to get a cat?’’

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the end, Venus had been the one to pick up the cat. It was only a couple of years old and had come from an old friend of Tig’s. The creature was grumbling when they finally got home, a deep hacking sound that vibrated straight from its chest, setting Chibs’ hairs on edge. It's no wonder it was making such a noise really, its fat carcass had been stuffed into a small pink cage. Before today Chibs would have disapproved of any animal being treated like that but after five seconds of her being let loose in his home, he could understand the previous owner’s mindset. Venus had perched the cage on their coffee table and opened the door, letting what now Chibs refers to as miniature Satan out into the world.

As she took her first couple of steps out Chibs caught a glance of her, she wasn’t a looker by any means and he spares a moment to wonder why Tig would ever think he wanted that thing in his house. Her ginger fur is thin leaving little bald patches in random areas and her back leg had clearly been lost in an accident at some point. It's actually impressive how she manages to carry her bulk on only three legs. Her head looked to be at least four times too small for the rest of her which is only emphasized by her too large piss-coloured eyes. The most offensive thing about her has to be the scraggly thin tail hanging behind, giving her the unpleasant appearance of an overgrown rat.

Appearances aside she took to Juice immediately, maybe she sensed from the way Chibs was looking at her that she wouldn’t be staying long otherwise. Juice seemed unbothered by her repulsive looks and he was currently sat reading on the sofa with the ugly thing curled up purring on his stomach. Chibs himself had a shakier relationship with her, whenever he got within a few metres of them her lips would pull back revealing yellowing sharp teeth before a snarl was released.

Much to Juices amusement the two of them were currently locked in an intense staring contest across the room, if asked Chibs would swear she hadn’t blinked in the past hour but he still wasn’t willing to back down from “that ginger flea bag” as he so eloquently put it. After half an hour Juice tucks the book under his arm and heads off to bed, the cat cradled in his arm whilst she continues to glare over his shoulder, staring straight into Chibs’ soul with her oversized bug eyes.

With Juice now staying at his, Chibs had made some adjustments around the house. The fridge was now fully stocked with a range of healthy food (one shelf obviously reserved for Chibs’ out of date take outs). He had also taken the time to hang up some thick, black curtains in the bedroom, they could route out any sliver of light and throw the bedroom into a pitch-black darkness no matter the time of day. Chibs was rather proud of thinking of it despite the fact Juice never wanted the room that dark. Unless Chibs was sat right beside him as he often was, running his hand through the short curling hair juice had allowed to grow, the neighbouring lamps were kept on so he could watch the door, always preparing for an intruder.

The last change was the new air mattress Chibs had bought after getting sick of waking at 3AM on a deflated piece of plastic. Although in the spirit of everything related to camping hating him this mattress wasn’t much of an improvement. It didn’t deflate anymore but laying on it could only be compared to laying upon a bed of rocks. Each morning he woke up with muscles that he didn’t know he had, sore and throbbing. He didn’t complain... that much.

As Chibs walks through into the bedroom an hour later, the first thing he notices is Juice’s kutte hanging on the back of the door. It had spent the last week neatly tucked away in the wardrobe, so clearly Juice had been looking at it at since he came to bed. There’s plenty of times in the day when Chibs plans to ask about Juice’s current feelings on the club but every time their eyes make contact, the guarded pain in them always makes him lose his nerve. Juice was now dead away to the world, his legs tangled in the covers, the cat sprawled out next to him and Macbeth resting on his chest. Chibs picks it up before shoving a spare bit of paper in it as a makeshift bookmark, God knows the boy won’t let it go if he loses his page again.

He throws his clothes onto the nearest bit of furniture and carefully hangs his kutte on top of Juice’s. Leaning over he yanks at the bed covers, careful to disrupt the cat, until he’s unravelled them and thrown them back over the sleeping form. Ignoring the dirty glances the cat shoots his way, Chibs looks over, noticing a new picture on the bedside table, Chibs had pulled it from Juice’s bag the morning after he came to the house, it was from the time Juice was prospecting. Chibs remembers the day it was taken, it was just after one of Gemma’s famous family dinners, but he didn’t know the picture itself existed. He looks less grey in it and Juice looks happy, a feeling that’s become so scarce over the last years. The photo has been taken from its plastic case and slotted into a proper frame, Chibs can only think that he must have asked Tig or Venus for it.

Laying down on the mattress he's flat out within minutes. When his eyes blink open barely two hours later, he takes a moment to wonder what woke him. Then he notices Juice sweat drenched and shaking on the bed, little whimpers escaping now and again. Jumping up, it’s a battle to wake him from the terror fuelled haze he’s emersed in. When he does wake, he desperately tries to struggle out of Chib’s grip, blinding clawing at the arms trying to sooth him. He still squirms and sobs even after Chibs pins his arms down, the darkness and exhaustion stopping him from seeing the familiar face in front of him. It’s the smell that reigns in his hysteria, a blend of cheap tobacco and Irish whiskey, it’s a scent that's as much a part of Chibs as the second smile drawn across his face. ‘’Sorry...sorry...I-uh...I didn’t know...’’ he’s quietened by Chibs gently shushing him, whispering comfort in his ear. He quietens but doesn’t attempt to go back to sleep much to Chibs’ dismay, instead his hand reaches up and circles Chibs' wrist drawing both sets of eyes to the few red lines that have been scratched there, ‘’...Sorry.’’ Ignoring the apology seems like the better way to move forward, ‘’Want me to stay?’’ He receives a nod of conformation and they lie in silence, it carries on for so long that, mixed with Juice’s even breathing, Chibs starts to wonder how he’s drifted off next to the man who nearly killed him.

‘’Can I see him?’’ Not asleep then. Chibs pulls away slightly so he can look him in the eye, ‘’Who?’’ ‘’Bobby’’ ‘’I was going to visit in a couple of days. I’ll take you with me if that’s what you want, Lad.’’ ‘’Thanks.’’ He does drift off after that, leaving Chibs to ponder in the silence, holding the boy close.

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

🦇 Not Your Crush's Cauldron Book Review 🦇

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

[ Find my review below or on Goodreads | Storygraph | Literal ]

❓ #QOTD What's one thing outside of your comfort zone you want to do this year? ❓ 🦇 Olive Maxwell is all too happy to leave the magical shenanigans to her sisters while she focuses on teaching. Currently, getting a grant for SupeEx has her full attention; a student exchange program that could help magical beings better understand one another's perspectives. In preparation for her grant presentation, Olive has assigned her college students a project that will nudge them beyond their comfort zones. Realizing she's never stepped out of her own, Olive decides to participate by creating her own Dare I Docket list, featuring activities she never would have considered in the past. Meanwhile, her new roommate Bax Donovan is struggling to keep his Guardian Angel wings. Assigned as Olive's Guardian, Bax helps Olive cross items off her list while secretly protecting her. Will they take the biggest risk of all: falling in love?

💜 Blessed Be, Bwitches! For those of you who have been with me from the beginning, the second book of April Asher's Supernatural Singles series was one of my first ARC reviews on this blog. I'm so grateful that I got the chance to read the third, featuring the somewhat shy, beyond witty and witchy Olive. April Asher EXCELS at using spunky prose, nerd-tastic references, and dizzying dialogue to drag readers into the Maxwell found family. The moment I picked up this book, it felt like talking to an old friend for the first time in too long. The prose is active, engaging, and unique, breathing life to a sassy, badass cast of characters. I also adored the story's underlying message. The risks you take in life, the decisions you make to move that life forward, mean little without the right people beside you.

💜 Fingers crossed we're not done with the Supernatural Singles series yet. April Asher, please tell me Harper gets some love in the *fingers crossed* next installment?

🦇 What upset me most about this book was finishing it. Olive and Bax are adorable together while still bringing plenty of Thai-level-five spice. Anything more would have dragged the story on too long, but I'm definitely going to be sporting a book hangover this week, craving more of that wicked prose!

🦇 In all seriousness, I do wish sex hadn't entered the plot so soon, giving Olive and Bax more time to develop their friendship instead. Bax's father feels a bit one-dimensional as a villain (I expected more layers behind his motivations, which mainly boils down to reputation). Of the three books in this series, there's the least amount of magic in this one, which was a bit of a disappointment. The premise of Olive being "at risk" because of the Dare I Docket feels a bit weak, too. I expected one of Vi's bounties to potentially put Olive's life at risk, or someone using magic to steal the grant from her--some additional source of conflict to drive the story forward. As much as I loved the sweet fluff, this story needed more tension.

🦇 Recommended to fans of witty, witchy prose, the best romance tropes, and charming characters. Add a little magic to your life with the Supernatural Singles series!

✨ The Vibes ✨ 🔮 Witch/Guardian Angel 🪽 Found Family 🔮 Friends to Lovers 🪽 Forced Proximity / Roommates 🔮 Forbidden Paranormal Romance 🪽 Third in the Series 🔮 Plenty of Spice

🦇 Major thanks to the author and publisher for providing an ARC of this book via Netgalley. 🥰 This does not affect my opinion regarding the book.

Quotes

❝ It wasn’t what you did that moved you forward the most, but the people who stood by your side when you did it. It was your family—your found family. The ones you chose to surround yourself with because them not being part of your life wasn’t a possibility you wanted to think about. ❞

❝ Everyone has a spark of Magic, and when you follow it, there really is no possibility of straying from your true path. ❞

[clowncollectr]

Arknights - Everything between us, as it should be (Liang Xun / Lee) - Chapter 1

Rating: G

Word Count: 2314 (this chapter), 28397 (whole story)

Summary: It’s Liang Xun’s second time visiting Lungmen. The circumstances are much better compared to last time. There’s no rush. Familiar faces, new faces. More happy memories to join the old ones. Between him and Lee, things are finally as they should be.

Notes: This is a direct sequel to I want to see you. I need to see you. so please read that one first if you haven't! And for the people that have read it, I had a little bit more fun with this one so it's more silly but hopefully something people can still enjoy :D

AO3 Link

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

__________ Chapter 1: Welcome back It was obvious that neither party cared about eating.

Both of them poked at their food, taking small bites here and there. The decision to go to a restaurant was just an excuse to sit down and talk. They had to get away from Lee’s office, where one of the children overhearing was all but guaranteed. It was best to leave them out of this kind of thing. Yet despite going to this place specifically to talk, neither of them had said a word to each other since they stepped foot inside.

Normally, this was fine. They’ve known each other for a long time. A period of silence wasn’t uncomfortable. But this time, it made Liang Xun anxious. His friend was currently looking at him with stern eyes and a not so friendly expression.

The first time he had come to Lungmen, it was to right his wrongs. He thought he had been successful in doing that. This is only his second visit to this place. So why does it feel like he’s in even more trouble than the first time?

There was a dull clank as the sound of chopsticks on porcelain reached his ears, shortly followed by a gruff voice. “So? Why are you here?” the other man finally asked, crossing his arms.

Liang Xun’s not exactly sure what’s put Lee in such an inhospitable mood, but this kind of pressure is nothing to him. He’s grown quite accustomed to dealing with disagreements and hostile environments. Those things were commonplace in the world of politics, and oftentimes there would be political opponents who stared at you as if they wanted you dead. From Lee, it’s a little scarier but he wouldn’t have survived his line of work the way he has if he was so spineless.

So Liang Xun simply took another bite out of his meal, sipped on his drink, and replied in a casual tone. “I came to visit.”

Lee narrowed his eyes, clearly dissatisfied with his answer. His arms were still crossed and he had stopped touching his food completely. “You’ll need a better excuse than that. You’re supposed to be at the capital right now. If you can’t tell me, like that time in Shangshu, fine. But at least give me a better reason.”

Hearing those words surprised him. Lee’s upset with me because he thinks I’m lying to him? But I really am here to visit though.

It was true. Obviously it wasn’t easy. He had to fight for it. It wasn’t just a matter of convincing the higher ups to let him do it. He had to make sure there was no way they could say no. In terms of work, Liang Xun was ahead by about a month. Everything under his jurisdiction was currently waiting on another party before he could proceed to the next step. The people who saw things at face value no longer had a reason to deny his request for leave. And the people higher in status than that, the ones who knew to look further, understood that refusing him was a bad idea.

He said he would visit. So he’s here now. It would be great if he and Lee could have a close relationship similar to what they had in the past. Liang Xun had learned from his last visit that his friend felt the same way. He had assured Lee of many things at that time. But the measure of a man’s worth is not his words but his actions. Although speaking of assuring Lee…

Liang Xun’s eyes darted up to look at the carp. It would be best to settle this misunderstanding now. He’s had enough of creating those. He repeated himself, hoping that Lee could sense the sincerity in his voice. “I really did come to visit. You can contact whoever you want if you don’t trust me. But you know I don’t like to lie about these things.”

Those words seemed to placate him and the tenseness in the carp’s shoulders softened a little. Unfortunately, Liang Xun’s relief was short lived as only moments later, Lee seemed more upset than before.

“You DID NOT leave the capital just to visit me.” he said in a way that clearly conveyed his disbelief.

The Kuranta held back a sigh. This person thinks about other people too much. He didn’t care to argue about it, so he just said what was on his mind. “And if I did?”

Lee said nothing but continued to scowl at him. However, there’s no sting to his anger at all. Liang Xun doesn’t want to say it, but rather than being intimidating, the Lung’s reactions were starting to fall into the realm of…endearing? Or maybe flattering is a better word. Either way, it’d be wise not to say it out loud.

Regardless, the point was that it was a senseless argument. He was his own man and he could do whatever he wanted. If he decided that he preferred spending time reconnecting with a friend in an interesting city over signing another document for the hundredth time, who has the right to stop him?

“I’m already here. The vacation time’s been processed. Might as well make the most of it. Or would you prefer that I figure out my own way around this city?"

Lee shot him another annoyed look. Mostly, he was frustrated from knowing that his opponent had beaten him. Stubborn bastard. Most people think that you’re a saint, but I pray for anyone who’s ever had the misfortune of getting in your way.

He knows there’s no point getting hung up over it. Liang Xun was right. He was already here. And considering what they had talked about last time, it was hard for Lee to say he wasn’t happy to have his company. He couldn’t deny that he was slightly disappointed during the first visit when he learned that Liang Xun couldn’t stay for longer than a day.

After a long sigh, Lee’s expression softened, as if all the negative emotions had been released by breathing out. He finally took a bite from the food on his plate, chewed, and swallowed before speaking again. “How long are you staying this time?” “Honestly, several weeks if I wanted. But of course, I don’t intend to wear hospitalities out. I’ll leave either when the time is right or if I’m no longer welcome.”

“Several weeks…” Lee’s eyes looked down as if he had just thought of something. Suddenly, he got up and leaned towards the table, trying to get a better look at the person sitting on the other side. The frown from earlier returned. Lost weight, tired eyes, and skin that’s lacking color. As expected, once you get a better look at him the signs are obvious. Lee groaned and sat back down.

“I’m going to be busy for the next few days.” he said candidly. “Busy?” “You’re welcome at my place. But it’s not luxurious like your estate at all. I can also make arrangements for you somewhere else if you prefer. Either way, I won’t be able to show you around until a couple days from now. Just rest until then.”

Liang Xun breathed a sigh of relief and smiled softly. This was his friend extending the olive branch out to him. A declaration of peace. “That works. And your place is fine. To be honest, the nice clothes and furniture you saw around me. Those are more so things that came with the position rather than my personal taste. Thank you for having me.”

By now, their food had gone cold for sure. It’s a good thing they didn’t come for the food.

__________________

This time, he had sent him a letter in advance before traveling to Lungmen. So his visit shouldn’t have been a surprise. Although that didn’t stop Lee from doubting his reasons and taking him out for lunch (actually an interrogation) the moment he arrived. That also meant his presence shouldn’t be a surprise to the rest of Lee’s agency. Still, he was a little worried. He’s not quite sure what the agency members think of him now, but they’re Lee’s loved ones so it would be great if they got along.

When Lee opened the door to his home, it was Waai Fu who was the first to greet them. She seemed to be in a good mood as she ran up to them with a quick bow. “Uncle Liang! Uncle Lee! You guys are back. Oh, these are all of Uncle Liang’s things. Is he staying with us?” Lee nodded in response. “Yeah. We have a spare guest room anyway. And it’ll be more interesting that way, don’t you think?”

Waai Fu nodded back, seeming to have no complaints on the matter, much to Liang Xun’s relief. But a second later, she walked up to him with a concerned look on her face.

“Uncle Liang…”, Waai Fu rubbed her arm looking a little embarrassed, “how’s your hand? Is there any lingering pain anywhere?”

He looked down at his hands, a little confused, before remembering the incident from last time. Right. He’d forgotten all about it because honestly, he felt that he had probably deserved it at the time. Now, seeing that she still felt guilty about what happened, he reassured her with a small smile. Lee was right. She really is a good kid. “I didn’t even remember it until now. I appreciate your concern, and I’m happy that you’ve grown up to be the type of person who will stand up for others.”

Waai Fu’s embarrassment didn’t go away, but at least it was there for more positive reasons now than guilt. A heartwarming interaction between the two. Lee, who had been watching them, wanted to say as much. But before he could, another voice joined in.

“I overheard. You have a guest staying over, boss?”

It was Hung who was making his way down the stairs to the living room, where everyone was standing. Like Waai Fu, he walked up to Liang Xun and gave his greetings. But unlike her, he didn’t have much else to say. Last time this guy visited, he was a fine guest, even if he gave off the impression of being a little too serious all the time. Not to mention he was his senior. Anyone Lee trusts this much is probably a good person. He’s sure his boss will be happier with this person around. That was a good enough reason for him to stay.

They were still missing one person, but Lee suggested that they go ahead and start moving their guest’s things upstairs. All of them were in the same building at the moment. They would run into him eventually. With everyone’s help, it didn’t take long for the group to get Liang Xun and his things settled in the extra guest room upstairs.

The moment they finished moving everything, as if on cue, Aak was seen stepping out of the upstairs bathroom. He was looking down at the phone in his hands as he closed the door behind him. But as soon as he looked up and saw the crowd in front of him, a look of complete disbelief manifested on his face. “What is this guy doing here?” It was definitely a departure from the polite greetings Liang Xun’s received so far.

“I told you three ahead of time that he was visiting.” Lee responded to him, frowning. “Yeah, like the city. He’s moving in?!” “Why not? It’s safer for him. It’s no good for someone of his status to be wandering around alone. Is it a problem?”

Aak narrowed his eyes but didn’t argue back. All he did was head downstairs, mumbling “It isn’t. So long as he doesn’t cause any more trouble” as he passed by everyone. Once he was gone, Lee gave Liang Xun an inquisitive look as if to ask ‘What’d you do to piss him off?’ Liang Xun wasn’t exactly sure. It could be that he simply hasn’t been forgiven yet. He hadn’t exactly made a good impression the first time they met. It was unfortunate, but there was nothing he could do about it except improve everyone’s opinion of him. Lee saw the dejected look on his face and spoke up to reassure him.

“Ah well, he is the skeptical sort. And he’s not too fond of authority figures so that’s probably not working in your favor. Although he’s telling the truth. He won’t do anything so long as you’re not causing trouble, which I doubt you will. Oh, and don’t accept any food or drinks from him. But enough of that.” Lee clapped his hands together, signaling the end of their current topic before continuing.

“I’m sure you’re tired. We’ll leave you be. Dinner’s at 8. You’re always welcome to join us. Or if you want to rest more, I’ll put the leftovers in the fridge for you.”

The Lung turned around and headed for the door, urging everyone else to do the same. “Ugh, guess it’s time to go back to work. Ok everyone, out of Master Liang’s room. We need to provide him quality home service so he writes us a good review.”

Liang Xun watched as his friend lightly pushed everyone out the door before turning back to give him a quick wink and wave. Then the door was shut. He couldn’t help but smile a little. Even after all these years, some parts of Lee haven’t changed at all. He’s still someone that acts like he doesn’t take anything seriously, but if you’re paying attention to what he’s actually doing, he’s surprisingly responsible.

Even as the fatigue from travel and overwork started to set in, and Liang Xun had to put aside his things so he could rest, he quietly thought that his efforts had been worth it.

[thelistingteammiami]

A Window of Opportunity for Homebuyers

Mortgage rates are much higher today than they were at the beginning of the year, and that’s had a clear impact on the housing market. As a result, the market is seeing a shift back toward the range of pre-pandemic levels for buyer demand and home sales.

But the transition back toward pre-pandemic levels isn’t a bad thing. In fact, the years leading up to the pandemic were some of the best the housing market has seen. That’s why, as the market undergoes this shift, it’s important to compare today not to the abnormal pandemic years, but to the most recent normal years to show how the current housing market is still strong.

Higher Mortgage Rates Are Moderating the Housing Market 

The ShowingTime Showing Index tracks the traffic of home showings according to agents and brokers. It’s also a good indication of buyer demand over time. Here’s a look at their data going back to 2017 (see graph below):

Here’s a breakdown of the story this data tells:

The 2017 through early 2020 numbers (shown in gray) give a good baseline of pre-pandemic demand. The steady up and down trends seen in each of these years show typical seasonality in the market.

The blue on the graph represents the pandemic years. The height of those blue bars indicates home showings skyrocketed during the pandemic.

The most recent data (shown in green), indicates buyer demand is moderating back toward more pre-pandemic levels.

This shows that buyer demand is coming down from levels seen over the past two years, and the frenzy in real estate is easing because of higher mortgage rates. For you, that means buying your next home should be less challenging than it would’ve been during the pandemic because there is more inventory available.

Higher Mortgage Rates Slow the Once Frenzied Pace of Home Sales

As mortgage rates started to rise this year, other shifts began to occur too. One additional example is the slowing pace of home sales. Using data from the National Association of Realtors (NAR), here’s a look at existing home sales going all the way back to 2017. Much like the previous graph, a similar trend emerges (see graph below):

Again, the data paints a picture of the shift:

The pre-pandemic years (shown in gray) establish a baseline of the number of existing home sales in more typical years.

The pandemic years (shown in blue) exceeded the level of sales seen in previous years. That’s largely because low mortgage rates during that time spurred buyer demand and home sales to new heights.

This year (shown in green), the market is feeling the impact of higher mortgage rates and that’s moderating buyer demand (and by extension home sales). That’s why the expectation for home sales this year is closer to what the market saw in 2018-2019.

Why Is All of This Good News for You?

Both of those factors have opened up a window of opportunity for homeowners looking to move and for buyers looking to purchase a home. As demand moderates and the pace of home sales slows, housing inventory is able to grow – and that gives you more options for your home search.

So don’t let the headlines about the market cooling or moderating scare you. The housing market is still strong; it’s just easing off from the unsustainable frenzy it saw during the height of the pandemic – and that’s a good thing. It opens up new opportunities for you to find a home that meets your needs.

Bottom Line

The housing market is undergoing a shift because of higher mortgage rates, but the market is still strong. If you’ve been looking to buy a home over the last couple of years and it felt impossible to do, now may be your opportunity. Buying a home right now isn’t easy, but there is more opportunity for those who are looking.

[stopforeclosurehelp]

You may have heard in the news that mortgage rates are alot higher today than they were at the start of the year, and that’s has had a strong impact on the affordability in the housing market. As a result of this, the real estate market is showing a shift back to the normal home sale and buyer demand levels or range prior to the pandemic. 

Best Time To Buy A House In Boca Raton

But the obvious transition back to the pre-pandemic levels should not be seen as a bad thing.  The facts show that, the years leading up to the pandemic were many of the best the housing market years on record. That’s why, as the market is now undergoing a shift, it’s important to appropriately compare what is happening as of today, but not to the abnormal last few pandemic years, but to the current most recent normal years to understand how the current housing market is still very much as strong as ever.

Higher Mortgage Rates Are Moderating the Housing Market 

The ShowingTime Showing Index tracks the traffic of home showings according to agents and brokers. It’s also a good indication of buyer wanting to know how to buy a home and what they are doing over time. Here’s a deeper look at their data going all the way back 5 years to 2017 (see graph):

Here’s a breakdown of the story this data tells:

The 2017 through early 2020 numbers (shown in gray) give a good baseline of pre-pandemic demand. The steady up and down trends seen in each of these years show typical seasonality in the market.

The blue on the graph represents the pandemic years. The height of those blue bars indicates home showings skyrocketed during the pandemic. The most recent data (shown in green), indicates buyer demand is moderating back toward more pre-pandemic levels.

This shows that buyer demand is coming down from levels seen over the past two years, and the frenzy in real estate is easing because of higher mortgage rates. For you, that means buying your next home should be less challenging than it would’ve been during the pandemic because there is more inventory available.

Higher Mortgage Rates Slow the Once Frenzied Pace of Home Sales

As mortgage rates started to rise this year, other shifts began to occur too. One additional example is the slowing pace of home sales. Using data from the National Association of Realtors (NAR), here’s a look at existing home sales going all the way back to 2017. Much like the previous graph, a similar trend emerges (see graph):

Again, the data paints a picture of the shift:

The pre-pandemic years (shown in gray) establish a baseline of the number of existing home sales in more typical years.

The pandemic years (shown in blue) exceeded the level of sales seen in previous years. That’s largely because low mortgage rates during that time spurred buyer demand and home sales to new heights.

This year (shown in green), the market is feeling the impact of higher mortgage rates and that’s moderating buyer demand (and by extension home sales). That’s why the expectation for home sales this year is closer to what the market saw in 2018-2019.

Why Is All of This Good News for You?

Both of those factors have opened up a window of opportunity for homeowners looking to move and for first time home buyer in Boca Raton looking to purchase a home. As demand moderates and the pace of home sales slows, housing inventory is able to grow – and that gives you more options for your home search.

So don’t let the headlines about the market cooling or moderating scare you. The housing market is still strong; it’s just easing off from the unsustainable frenzy it saw during the height of the pandemic – and that’s a good thing. It opens up new opportunities for you to find a home that meets your needs.

Bottom Line

The housing market is undergoing a shift because of higher mortgage rates, but the market is still strong. If you’ve been looking to buy a home over the last couple of years and it felt impossible to do, now may be your opportunity. Buying a home right now isn’t easy, but there is more opportunity for those who are looking.

To Start Your Home Buying Process in Boca Raton Contact Us Today  (561) 556-3004