#the theres only one bed and two of us trope

[booklove22]

Imagine ANY other undercover pairing on this show and ask yourself if they would have felt it necessary to practice kissing for authenticity.

Like what if Sava had looked like Lopez instead of Chen?

I’ll tell you what wouldn’t have happened:

[asahicore]

bad news first - sjy (m)

this work contains smut - minors please do not interact pairing. jake x fem!reader synopsis. From the moment you'd met at eight to the day he moved to South Korea at fourteen, you and Jake were inseparable. But after years of being apart, you've come to terms with the fact that at twenty, you and Jake just aren't what you used to be. That is until you get a text from him, and all of a sudden, he's back by your side, doing his year abroad at the university you study at, and all your feelings for him float back up to the surface. genre. college au, childhood friends to ???? to lovers, painful mutual pining, one bed trope..... a sprinkle of angst (my hand slipped) but mostly fluff i promise and smut (mdni!!!), also i made sunghoon really weird in this and idkw, this is set in scotland.. edinburgh uni rep!! word count. 23k author's note. everybody say happy belated birthday to @zreamy.. happy belated birthday zo!!! being 22 years and 6 days old is cooler than just 22 years old anyway.. hope you like it bestie... if you dont... well theres a building on campus thats 17 stories high sooo.. enjoy! i hope everyone else enjoys too, since this is a bday fic for zo she couldnt beta read so i had to raw dog this so if its terrible.. not my fault! lmk what u think!! i also made a playlist for this, do listen along!!

“Alright kids, good news or bad news first?”

You looked at your teacher, then at the boy next to you, then back at your teacher. “Bad news first,” you said in unison.

You were only eight, but you were both wise enough to know that hearing good news second would assuage the blow of whatever these bad news were. Miss Dawson sighed as she crouched in front of you. “The bad news is your bus driver is on strike and won’t be coming. The good news is that your parents have been informed and are coming to pick you up soon.”

Following her instructions, you headed to the gymnasium and sat there silently among the other kids. Not many kids in your class rode the bus home, and the ones who did seemed to have drivers not on strike, so it was just the two of you. You were used to that, though - over January and February, you had made a sort of silent pact to stand and wait for the bus together. You sometimes shared snacks, but you never spoke. For some reason, you felt at ease with this boy, even though you didn’t know much about him. You had heard he had moved to Brisbane just at the start of this year, all the way from South Korea. You were pretty sure his name was Jake.

You handed him one of your Twix bars. Then he spoke. “I thought a strike was when you did really well in bowling.”

“Same,” you replied, mouth full of chocolate and caramel. “I’m not sure why that would keep the bus driver from picking us up.”

Jake looked at you with wide eyes, distress clear in them. “Do you think he went bowling instead of picking us up?”

This made you frown. “That’d be really rude.”

“It would. I always make sure to go bowling on the weekends, ‘cause if I missed school that’d be rude to Miss Dawson.”

You nodded your head in fervent agreement. “For sure.”

That weekend, his mum called your mum to ask if you wanted to go to the bowling alley with them. From then on, for the next six years, you were stuck together by glue. 

--

Twelve years later, Jake’s name appearing on your phone screen has become such a rare sight, you don’t believe it right away. It takes you a few seconds of intense squinting at the letters to actually realise your eyes aren’t deceiving you.

jake.sim15 hey y/n!! you go to edinburgh uni right?

You type and delete three different responses before settling for a simple yeah, I am! what’s up?, hoping you sounded nonchalant even though you very much felt chalant. You thought that whatever you sent wouldn’t be as weird as taking forever to answer such a straightforward question. 

As you wait for Jake’s reply, you scroll through your previous shared messages, noting with sadness that for three years in a row, the only instances you’d texted were to wish each other a happy birthday or when he reacted with a fire emoji to Stories of your dog, Milo. Before that, your last conversation was to congratulate each other about getting into your top choice universities and to discuss plans for your respective futures.

Futures that used to include each other, you think. His reply appears at the bottom of your screen before melancholy can fill your heart.

jake.sim15 i applied to go there for my year abroad next year annnnd i got in !! heh

You shoot up straight from your seat on the lounge chaise you’d been sunbathing on, a loud “Oh my God!” involuntarily escaping your mouth. 

“What? What happened? Is everything okay?” Chaewon asks frantically, rushing over to your side. “Oh,” she says when she sees your phone. “It’s a text… from a boy?” 

This makes Yunjin, previously unbothered by your panic, rise from her seat and take off her sunglasses. “A boy? Show me,” she demands, snatching your phone from your hands before you can protest. Upon seeing the texts on your screen, she lets out a loud gasp. “It’s not just any boy! It’s the one and only Jake Sim himself.”

“Give that back!” you plead, hand reaching for your phone, but Yunjin is already walking away.

“And he’s coming to Edi this September, apparently. He says he’s sorry for not saying anything earlier, but he was waiting for an answer up until now.” She scoffs. “Leave it to our uni to tell someone they’re in less than two months before term starts. Oh, you’re the first person he’s told, Y/N! After his parents. How cute,” she coos, protesting when you snatch your phone back from her. “Hey! I was reading that.”

“Those are my texts, Yunjin. I’m the one who’s meant to read them.”

She shrugs. “You would’ve told us anyway.”

“What are you going to reply?” Chaewon asks. With the both of them hovering over your shoulders and watching as you type a response, a sort of stage fright comes over you, making you send what might be the most unoriginal reply known to man.

“Awesome? Seriously, Y/N?” Yunjin reads, disproportionately disgusted with you.

“That’s a lot of exclamation marks. It almost makes it look like you don’t mean it,” Chaewon says.

“I do mean it!”

“Well, he seems to like it. A smiling-with-teeth emoji is a good sign, right?” she asks in an attempt to make you feel better.

“He has automatic caps off. That man is run-through,” Yunjin says, shaking her head as she walks back to her sunbed.

“You were excited about him texting me just a second ago,” you reproach.

“Yeah, before I found out he was a whore.”

“Yunjin, you know we don't slut-shame here!” Chaewon exclaims. Before Yunjin can say anything even worse in response, your phone starts ringing, and Jake’s name appears on your screen. “He’s calling you?” Chaewon gasps, making Yunjin sit up with a start for the second time in less than five minutes.

“This man is insane,” she remarks with all the seriousness in the world.

You run away from your friends, finding refuge in the outside kitchen area out of earshot. They don’t need to hear your conversation with Jake. You love them, but they can be weirdly unsupportive in moments like these.

“Hey, Jake,” you greet, hoping he doesn’t notice the breathlessness in your voice. It was because you had just ran, of course - you didn’t want him to think you were so nervous about talking to him after such a long time, you could barely breathe. Because you weren’t. At all.

“Hey, Y/N!” he replies, and the excitement in his voice makes your heart melt. “I hope it’s not weird that I called, I just thought it’d be nicer than texting, is that okay?”

“Yeah, it’s fine, it’s nice to hear your voice,” you say before you can really think about it, and cringe at your own words. Years without talking and the world’s worst line is the first thing you say to Jake. Thankfully, before you start excruciating yourself, a chuckle pours out of Jake’s throat and blesses your ears.

“It’s nice to hear your voice, too. What are you up to?” 

“Oh, I’m on vacation with my friends. One of them has a rich aunt who owns a villa in southern Italy, so we’re just chilling by the pool right now.” 

“You always wanted to go to Italy! That sounds so nice,” he says. Your breath catches gently in your throat - he remembers, you note.

“Yeah, it really is. What about you, how are you spending the summer?”

Jake tells you about the local bookstore owned by a grandpa that’s always had a soft spot for him and that gave him a part-time job for the summer. “I’m trying to save up as much money as I can before I leave. If I treat you to a meal, will you show me around the city?” he asks, and you can hear the grin in his voice. It makes you realise how much you’ve actually missed him.

“You don’t need to treat me to a meal, I’ll show you around anyway.” 

Still, he insists, and you find yourself giving in quickly - because it’s Jake or because free food is on the table, you’re not sure. Probably both. 

You and Jake get to talking, but fitting years and years of catching up into one conversation is an impossible task, and before you know it, when you check your phone, you’ve been talking for over an hour. Yunjin is angrily waving at you, pointing at her stomach to indicate hunger like a caveman who’s just learned how to communicate. You apologise to Jake, telling him you have to go, and plan to meet during fresher’s week before you hang up.

A few hours later, you get a text from him saying it was nice talking to you and jokingly asking whether Yunjin was satisfied with lunch. It’s innocuous, but it opens a gate for more texting, which leads to long, rambling voice messages, which leads to late-night phone calls that remind you of when you were fifteen and still kept in touch. When August fades into September, you feel like you’ve got your best friend back. 

You remember why you were so in love with him at fourteen.

--

You see Jake before he sees you.  

Among the throngs of people, you manage to spot the dark, messy flop of hair on his head weighed down by a nice pair of wireless headphones. After a thirteen-hour flight from Seoul, a four-hour layover in Frankfurt and a final, two-hour flight to Edinburgh, he looks rightfully exhausted, using what looks like the last of his energy to spot the exit and the airport bus stop. Even wearing a simple denim jacket, white tee and grey sweatpants, he’s so gorgeous you forget what you came here for, until he almost walks right past you without seeing you. You put yourself in his path and hold your hand-written banner up, making yourself as obvious as you can as you call out his name. 

When he sees you, he stops dead in his tracks for a second, someone almost running into him before he remembers the crowd behind him. His tired features break out into a bright smile that has your heartbeat speeding up so much, you think it might run out of your chest. 

He had told you not to come, that it would be late for you and he didn’t want to bother you, but you had managed to get the information of his arrival before he forbade you from picking him up so you did it anyway, wanting to surprise him. After years of being apart, rather than waiting another day, you wanted to see him as soon as possible.

Jake briskly makes his way to you, dropping his bags next to him on the floor as he engulfs you in a hug, warm and tight as if he’s trying to make up for all those years. You hug him back as if someone would appear out of thin air and take him away from you again.

“This was the longest day of my life, I’m so happy to see you,” he says when he pulls away, and you’re so happy you can’t even say anything back, resorting to giggling and lightly swatting non-existent dust off of his shoulders. 

As you wait for the bus, he tells you about every trivial thing that happened to him on his trip, from how expensive a sandwich is at the airport to the German kid sitting in front of him that kept turning around to stare at him on his second flight.

“How did you know he was German?” you ask, amused.

Jake pauses. “Just vibes.”

Conversation on the bus is slightly disjointed as you jump from topic to topic with random pauses here and there before one of you finds something to talk about - but it’s okay, you hadn’t expected for the two of you to be as easy as before. It’s more awe at seeing each other after such a long time than awkwardness. Even though you’d caught up over summer, there was a world of difference between speaking on the phone and actually sitting next to him. You notice things like the shine of his hair, the creases that form on the sides of his lips when he smiles, or, unfortunately for you, the veins that run along his forearms and hands - things you hadn’t noticed previously thanks to the sometimes questionable quality of the front camera of his phone. Once in a while, your thigh brushes against his, and it reminds you that he’s really here. Even that he’s real, at all. 

In a tragic turn of events, Jake lives in the student accommodation you used to live in in first year, and coming back to it two years later is slightly traumatising. His three-person flat is in a different building as your old one, and you marvel at how it somehow still smells the same - like dusty, decade-old carpeting and the permanent stench of students’ dubitable cooking. He’s the first one to move in, which makes the place slightly eerie, but it means that you’re not bothering anyone by unpacking Jake’s stuff and cooking Shin Ramyun the previous tenants had left behind at 11pm. 

Your late dinner was meant for you to take a small break, watch a couple episodes of Friends which Jake had been shocked to learn you’d never watched, and you had been shocked to learn he was a die-hard fan of (since one year ago), then get back to unpacking. But the ramen sends an already exhausted Jake into a food coma so intense, he falls asleep on your shoulder five minutes into the second episode. 

You let him sleep as long as he needs, turning the volume down on his laptop and stifling your chuckles as much as you can. You feel like a cat has fallen asleep in your lap - you are now obliged by law to stay still until Jake wakes up. It’s not until an hour later that Jake’s uncomfortable sleeping position forces him awake, lifting his head off of your shoulder with a grunt. He looks around himself, at his room that’s not quite familiar to him yet, then at you, eyes still scrunched with sleepiness as a grin blooms onto his lips.

“Sorry,” clearing his throat of its grogginess. “What time is it?”

“It’s almost one a.m,” you reply, and his eyes go wide.

“You should’ve woken me up! Does your shoulder hurt?” he asks, much more alarmed than he should be, and it makes you laugh.

“It’s all good. But now that you’re awake, I should probably head home.” 

“I’ll get you an Uber,” he says, already pulling out his phone. 

“It’s fine, Jake, my place is a ten-minute walk from here. I live just up the road.”

Jake’s fingers on his phone pause as he looks up at you. “Then I’ll walk you home.” He lifts a finger in warning when he sees you start to protest. “And don’t fight me on this. You did so much today, it’s the least I can do.”

As much as you love the idea of spending more time with Jake, even if it’s just ten minutes, you still don’t want to bother him when you know how tired he is. “It’s really safe around here. I can just text you when I’m home, if you’re worried about me getting kidnapped or something,” you say, taking his jacket from his hands and placing it back on his desk chair.

He grabs it back, putting it on before you can take it from him again, and rummages through one of his suitcases for a black, woolly scarf. Neither of you speaks as he wraps it tight around your neck, even though the early September weather isn’t cold enough to warrant it. His hands stop briefly on the scarf and a small smile spreads on his lips. You hope he doesn’t hear your sharp intake of breath when your eyes meet. “It’s not about that,” he says simply, voice low and unlike you’ve ever heard it before. You don’t think his voice had quite finished cracking when he’d moved away back then. 

Suddenly, he steps away, grabs his keys, and heads for the door. “Let’s go!” he says, voice back to its usual cheery tone. You don’t find it in you to question him, so you just follow him out, welcoming the night breeze that cools down your burning cheeks with open arms. 

The walk to your place is mostly done in comfortable silence, but it still goes by too quickly for your liking. You keep your hands in your pockets to prevent yourself from doing something stupid, like reaching out for Jake’s hand that swishes back-and-forth as he walks. Instead, you bury your nose in his scarf and relish in the unfamiliar but comforting smell that his cologne has left behind on the fabric. You hug goodbye when you reach your flat, and you have to remind yourself to let go. He insists on you keeping the scarf. “My mum packed me, like, three, so you can have that one.” 

“Your mum still pack your things for you, does she?” you ask, tone playful.

“No-” he says, voice slightly whiny, before he realises you’re just teasing him. “Whatever,” he chuckles, ruffling your hair. You hope the streetlights aren’t bright enough for him to notice the flustered look on your face. The both of you stand there awkwardly for a second, before he lets out another chuckle. “Right. See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” you beam.

“Okay,” he says, but still doesn’t make a move to leave. “Okay. Yeah. I’ll be off then.” He gives you one last smile then turns around, burying his hands in his pockets, and you watch as he walks away.

“Get home safe,” you call out after a few seconds. 

He pivots on his heels, and, with a wave of his hand, says, “I will! Go inside.”

“Good night!”

“Night, Y/N!”

When you walk into your living room, Yunjin is sitting on the couch, arms crossed over her chest, gaze trained on the wall opposite her, one lamp lighting the otherwise completely dark room. She looks like a detective in one of those bad cop shows.

“Gosh, what’s all this for?”

“You’re back awfully late,” she says, neither looking at you nor answering your question.

“Yeah, I was with Jake,” you shrug, heading into the kitchen for a glass of water. She abruptly gets up from her seat, following you into the other room and staying close behind you.

“And?” she demands, mouth way too close to your ear and making you start.

“And what?” you ask. 

“What do you mean and what?!” she says, clearly agitated. “I want to know everything!”

“There’s nothing to say, really. He seemed happy I picked him up from the airport, then I helped him unpack. He lives in Riego, by the way.”

“Ew.”

“I know, it was awful going back there.”

The two of you stare at each other as you drink your water. “Well?” she asks.

“What?”

“Is that it?”

You fill your glass again to take it into your bedroom. “I don’t know, we just ate and watched Friends.”

“You hate shows with laughing tracks,” she states like it’s an accusation.

“It wasn’t actually that bad,” you reply, shrugging.

She tuts. “Love will do ugly, ugly things to a person.”

“You’ve been in a loving relationship for the past two years.”

“This isn’t about me. Can we talk about how you’re still in love with the same loser from when you were ten?”

“I was fourteen, and don’t call Jake a loser when you haven’t even met him.” You ignore the roll of her eyes. “And I’m not. Not anymore. I’m just happy to have my friend back.” Yunjin gives you a look. “Okay, maybe I’m still a little bit in love with him. But it’s so little, it’s barely there.” Her expression is unchangingly unimpressed and you can’t help but throw in the towel. “Alright, fine. I still love him, what about it?”

“You’re pathetic.”

“I know that, no need to remind me.”

“Are you gonna do something about it?”

“My patheticness? I’ve tried, didn’t really work.”

“No, idiot, about Jake. You should go and get him! It’d be so sexy if you got together as 20-somethings after knowing each other since you were babies.”

“We were eight when we met. And I don’t know if sexy is the word I’d use here.”

“Anything is sexy if you try hard enough,” she says, and you have to laugh. “Anyways, you should confess your undying love and tell him you’ve felt that way since you met.”

“I wasn’t-”

“Guys might not show it, but they probably get all hot for stuff like that. Boosts their ego and shit.”

“Yunjin, I just got my friend back, I’m not gonna risk it. Plus, who knows, I might not actually be in love with him. It might just be my emotions acting up, like, seeing someone I used to like after a while. We’ve both changed so much, once I get to know him more now, I might not even feel the way I used to.”

“Notice how you’ve used the word might twice in ten seconds? You’re just trying to find excuses.”

You groan. “This is why I hate English Lit people.”

“You do English Lit.”

“I know, and I’m the only nice person that does it.” In your head, you add and Jake, but saying it out loud would only make this conversation worse for you.

“What’s that scarf, by the way? Did he give you that?”

You look down at the scarf like it’s a piece of incriminating evidence. “Can you stop grilling me, please? It’s late.”

“You’re not answering my question.”

You sighed deeply. “Fine. Yes, he gave me-”

“It’s not even that cold outside!” she exclaimed in an outrage. “Don’t tell me he also walked you home?”

You pause. “He did.”

She gasped. “He walked you home because he’s in love with you.”

“He walked me home because he’s a good friend that looks after me.”

“He walked you home because he realised how hot you’ve gotten and he wants some of that.”

All you can do is sigh. “Whatever. I’m going to bed.”

“If you weren’t such a coward, you wouldn’t be going to bed alone.”

“Whatever!” you say, shutting the door behind you, shaking that preposterous conversation out of your head. When you get into bed, it takes you at least half-an-hour before you can settle down, but you know your constant tossing and turning isn’t due to your inability to find a comfortable enough position to sleep in. Between your evening with Jake and Yunjin’s pestering, thoughts run wild and incoherent through your head. 

You want to tell her every little thing that happened with Jake tonight, but you’re afraid it might do you more harm than good. She is most definitely the type of friend who will take the smallest action a guy did for you or the most meaningless thing he might have said and turn it into a sign that he has the hots for you, which usually does wonders for your confidence, but right now, you don’t need that kind of delusion. Did seeing your childhood best friend you used to secretly harbour feelings for make you feel some type of way? Of course, but that doesn’t mean you still love him after all this time, after six years of being apart, the majority of those years spent with no contact. It wasn’t like you parted ways with resentment, or anything of that sort, far from it; rather, you drifted apart naturally, as two teenagers with over 7000 kilometres between them would. At first, you’d call frequently and even write each other letters - but as you became more preoccupied with school, friends, and extracurriculars, your phones gradually rang less and your mailboxes became gradually emptier. You don’t even remember who sent the last, unanswered letter. 

Tonight isn’t the first time you replay the moment Jake announced that he would go away, but it’s the first time it’s a bittersweet memory. It used to only be bitter - but now that you’ve reconnected, you can look back at it with fondness, wishing you could tell fourteen-year-old you the hurt would only last so long. 

It hadn’t started unusually.

“So, bad news first, right?”

In your six years of friendship with Jake, this had been the first time you’d really been wary of what he would say next. The look on his face told you that this bad news wouldn’t be as easy to shake off as usual. Your definition of bad news was things like I got grounded so I can’t hang out, I forgot we had a test tomorrow so I can’t hang out, my allergies are acting up again so I can’t hang out.

“I’m moving to Korea next month.”

I’m on another continent, so I can’t hang out.

You remember the words not quite making sense at the time. “Oh? How long are you staying there?” you said, taking a bite of your strawberry ice cream which Jake had insisted on paying for, even though you knew he didn’t get much allowance.

“Forever.”

You stopped chewing, and the ice cream melted uncomfortably in your mouth. You don’t know how long you stayed there, frozen as you stared at your best friend in disbelief. It wasn’t until he lightly shoved your shoulder, only meeting your eyes for a split second, that you remembered to swallow and to say something.

“Forever as in… You won’t live here anymore? At all?”

Jake shook his head. He kept his eyes trained on the vanilla-chocolate ice cream sandwich he’d left in its wrapper. In the blazing hot Brisbane summer, it had probably fully melted two minutes ago. “At all.”

“Oh,” was all you found yourself able to say. For some reason, you hoped that continuing to eat your ice cream would stop you from crying, but to no avail. Hot, salty tears quickly started raining down your cheeks, mixing with the sweetness of your ice cream when they reached your lips. 

“It’s my dad’s work. Same reason why I moved here when we were kids in the first place. They wanted him here then, they want him back there now. We just have to follow,” Jake explained, sounding just as upset as you felt.

“Right.”

“Are you mad at me?” Jake asked, worry clear in his voice, and finally turned to face you. At the sight of you crying, he let out a small oh, tears of his own pooling in his eyes.

You frowned. “Of course not. I’m never mad at you, you know that. I just… You’re my best friend, Jakey. It’s gonna be so lame around here without you.”

“It’ll be lame there without you, too.”

You attempted a smile. “Well, of course. But at least you’ll get to make new friends, see new places. You’ll be in a whole other country, I’m sure you’ll have fun there. I’m gonna be stuck in boring old Brisbane for the foreseeable future.”

“Do you know how offended our friends would be if they heard you speaking right now?” he asked, nudging your shoulder with his.

You sniffled and let out a chuckle. “They’re all great, but… I don’t like them nearly as much as I like you,” you said, staring down at your hands, hoping he wouldn’t realise exactly what you meant by that statement.

A weight was lifted off of your shoulders when Jake answered. “I like you the most too, Y/N.” You tried not to think too much about whether he’d meant it platonically or romantically - none of that mattered anymore. All that mattered was the feeling of his arms around you, his warmth enveloping your whole body, his familiar scent that you already missed. 

You felt him take a deep breath against you before he pulled away. He sniffled and did his best to put on a smile. “Right, enough of that. I’m not leaving until next month, so don’t think you’re rid of me just yet,” he joked, and it helped alleviate the weight on your heart, even if just a little. “You said you had something to tell me? Good news after bad news, and all that.”

“Oh. Right. I forgot about that.”

You thought for a second. Today was the day you had planned to confess your feelings to Jake - you’d only told him you had good news to share. But what was the point now that he was leaving? If he felt the same way, it would only make his departure that much harder, and if he didn’t, it would ruin your last moments together. It just wasn’t worth it.

Jake tilted his head, waiting for you to speak. In a split second, you made yourself forget your disappointment over having built the courage to tell him how you felt only for it all to fall through, and resolved to make the most of Jake’s last month here. You wiped your tears and mirrored his small smile as best you could. “Um, it wasn’t anything much. My mum made those cowboy cookies you like.”

Jake’s head fell back as he groaned in anticipation. “If she wasn’t happily married with three kids, I’d marry your mum. Let’s go right now.”

You laughed. “There’d be a bit of an age gap there.”

“We’d make it work,” Jake joked, throwing his arm around your shoulders as you walked towards your house. He beamed down at you, his bright, boyish smile that you loved to bits, and you beamed up at him as you grabbed the hand that hung off your shoulder in your own.

You walked as happily as you could. “Do you even speak Korean?” you suddenly asked.

Jake halted abruptly in his steps, a gravely offended look on his face. When you looked back at him in confusion, he rolled his eyes and started walking again, pulling you with him. “It’s literally my mother tongue, Y/N. I speak it every day at home.”

“Oh, right.”

At the time, you thought nothing could come between you and Jake. Not anyone, not anything, neither distance nor time. But they did. A week after he’d left, a boy from your class you’d talked to maybe once or twice asked you out on a date. You weren’t sure why, but you said yes. Then you said yes to being his girlfriend, even though you didn’t like him all that much, and you even said yes to reducing your texting with Jake because it made him jealous. When you’d broken up with him and wanted to catch up with Jake and apologise for your absence, you’d found that his new school in Seoul was a lot more demanding than yours in Brisbane, and he had to spend most of his evenings in academies if he wanted to get into a nice university. It’s when you learned that he’d be staying in South Korea for college that you decided to leave Australia too. Brisbane was a lot less fun without him there - why bother staying? You couldn’t go to him because of the language barrier and the cost of university there. If you were to essentially uproot your life, might as well go somewhere you could get a scholarship and understand the people around you. 

It seemed insane that someone you had thought would be by your side for the rest of your life, someone that was part of your most cherished memories, had been reduced to someone you casually texted once in a while. It seems even more insane that now that you’re finally done essentially grieving your friendship with Jake, he stands in front of you again, six inches taller but still donning those puppy-like eyes and smile of his.

For your sake, you just hoped you wouldn’t be as in love with him at twenty as you were at fourteen.

--

The next day, you show Jake around campus, which wouldn’t normally take more than ten minutes, but takes double that time because of the sheer amount of people there. Between the Societies Fair taking up most of the square, the tour guides leading freshers, walking slowly and taking in their new campus, and the pizza and drinks stands, freshers’ week always turns campus into what feels like the busiest place on Earth. You try not to let it hit a nerve for Jake’s sake, who’s clearly ecstatic at all the activity, but you like this place a lot more when it’s quieter. You walk through the Fair, laughing as Jake marvels at all the different clubs and societies at the Uni. 

“Gardening Society? Dungeons & Dragons Society? Wine society?” he exclaims, astonishment growing with every passing stand.

“And this is only the first day. They also have a Taylor Swift Society.” He grabs a flyer from about every society, even though you know he’ll join between two to zero of them. 

When you walk out, there’s a girl handing out samples of shampoo and conditioner, and you let her give you one, more out of politeness than anything. 

“These are so useless,” you start, and Jake chuckles, unaware of the incoming rant. “I had that job of distributing them last year, and we would get a tip if we gave them all out. So naturally I put a bunch in my bag, but then I had to use them for like two weeks.” You sigh. “First of all, my hair did not like it. And second, the ratio is so off. There’s way more conditioner than shampoo when it should be the other way around, so you have to condition your hair even though it’s not properly clean. So stupid.”

“Sounds terrible,” Jake says, laughing. “Is that why you’re not doing it this year?”

“Oh… Not really. I dated the guy that takes care of this promo stuff, so it would’ve been kinda awkward…” you trail, immediately wishing you could backtrack on conversation. Talking about your ex with Jake wasn’t on your to-do list for today. Or ever.

“You dated your boss?”

“The manager, yeah, I guess. He was only 24, though, don’t worry.”

“I’m more worried about the power imbalance than the age gap there.”

You shrug, looking down at your shoes. “It’s not like he was that high up.”

“So, what happened? Why did you break up?”

“Well, he acted like our four-year age difference meant he could treat me like a little kid. It was nice being taken care of at first but then I realised how condescending he was and dumped him.”

“How long were you together?”

You pause. “Two weeks,” you admit abashedly, making Jake chuckle. “At least he didn’t waste my time and showed his red flags early on.”

“Any boyfriends since?” he asks, and you wonder whether you’re making up the unsure tone of his voice. As if he’s curious, but doesn’t want to show it too much. You hope you’re not making it up.

“A few, but they never last very long with me,” you say, a meek smile on your lips. “Furthest I got was three months.”

“And why didn’t it work out with three-months-guy?”

“He started comparing me to his mum a bit too often.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah, I ran out of there without looking back.”

“Well, it’s nice to see you’ve got high standards. I would hate to see you date just any loser.”

You want to say, High standards or issues?, but you don’t want to make it weird, so you play it cool instead. “I would never. I have a mental checklist with everything a guy needs to have for me to date him.”

“A checklist? I have to hear about this.”

You sigh, debating whether you should tell him about it. Would he notice it’s based on him? Would he notice the only person that could tick practically every box was none other than him? Jake gently elbows your side, goading you on. When you look at him, he’s got a shit-eating grin playing on his lips, and you give in. You look off into the distance as you start listing your requirements. “Well, there’s all your basics like funny, taller than me but not too much, ‘cause I don’t want neck cramps, smart, takes uni seriously, has plans for his future, easy to talk to, not emotionally stunted and can actually have a vulnerable conversation. It’s also a bonus if he has a nice face.”

“How much of a bonus?”

You think for a second. “It’s more a dealbreaker than a bonus, actually. Nice smile is a must, definitely.”

“Okay. Got any more specifics?”

“I do have some particular ones. It’s nice if he’s a reader, but it’s terrible if it makes him think he’s better than everyone or if he tries to sound smarter than me. I like it if he has experience, I don’t want to have to teach him everything. But obviously I don’t want him to still be in love with his ex. Guys and their first loves, I swear… I also don’t really like picky eaters.” You look over at Jake and take a double-take. He’s typing away on his phone, but because of his privacy screen protector, you can’t see anything. You huff. “I also don’t like it if he has those protective screens on his phone. What’s on there that’s so important that I can’t take a peek? What are you even doing?”

The sweet sound of Jake’s giggles erases any trace of annoyance that you felt seconds ago. He turns his screen towards you, showing the list of mostly ticked boxes that he’s written up. “See? I check most of these,” he says with a proud smile. “Guess your standards aren’t that high.” You don’t tell him that your standards are high, he’s just that amazing. 

You do your best to look only amused at this even though inside, you’re all but freaking out. “Which are you missing?”

“Well, I clearly own a privacy screen. And I don’t have much experience. Not nearly as much as you, by the sounds of it,” he admits, somewhat sheepish. “But other than that, I’m practically the perfect man for you.” He looks down at you with a smile so bright, it makes you wish you had brought sunglasses. It takes everything in you not to scream right then and there. Yes, Jake, you are the perfect man for me, but I wish you wouldn’t say it like it was a joke.

You let out a stiff chuckle, and, rather than saying something stupid and possibly damaging, shift the conversation to him. “What do you mean by not much experience? Have you not dated anyone?”

Jake sighs. “Nope, not anyone. I went on a few dates, you know, went through a few talking stages and all that, but it never went much further. There was always something…” He glances at you then. “Missing.”

“I know that feeling,” you say with a chuckle, and he laughs too, a breathy sound.

“I don’t have a checklist to pinpoint what it is, though.”

You smile. “You should try, it might help.”

“I just… I guess I’m like you in that I also have high standards. But it made me not even want to give anyone a chance, especially since I knew it wouldn’t end up anywhere.”

“Don’t tell me no one has ever managed to reach the great Jake Sim’s standards?” you ask, trying to keep your tone light.

Jake smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Of course someone has. She’s the whole reason I have standards in the first place. It’s not my standards I compare people to, it’s her.”

Jealousy has never made you feel as sad as it is right now. “And… it didn’t work out between you?”

Jake looks at you, eyes searching for something in yours but seemingly not finding it, and so he turns his gaze away. You don’t know why you feel so disappointed. “Nope,” he says, popping the ‘p’. “She didn’t feel the same way.”

Whoever this girl is, you can’t believe how stupid she is for passing up the opportunity to have Jake Sim. “That’s… It sucks, I’m sorry,” you say. You don’t think spitting on this girl would make him feel any better, so you keep those thoughts to yourself.

“It’s okay,” he says with a small smile. “It was a while ago already.”

“Doesn’t sound like you’re quite over it, though,” you say, and you’re surprised but glad to see his smile widen.

“That’s true.” His eyes meet yours again. “I don’t think I’ll be over her anytime soon, either.” You have to look away to shield the pain that flashes through your eyes from him.

Pretending you don’t have feelings for your best friend and that you’re okay with him being in love with someone else is like riding a bike: even after years of not doing it, it only takes a few minutes for you to be able to do it perfectly again. Muscle memory, if you will. So you sigh dramatically and throw your arm around Jake’s shoulder, slightly pulling him down to your level. “Don’t worry. We’re going to have so much fun this year, you’ll completely forget about her. Promise. She doesn’t know what she’s missing. Yeah?” 

He smiles down at you. You want nothing more but that glint of melancholy in his eyes to be gone. “Yeah.”

--

Jake is only half-glad to see you haven’t changed much from your childhood and early teenage years. You’re still just as pretty, just as warm; it’s still as comfortable to be around you. You’re also still as dense.

Then and now, he did everything he could to make his feelings for you very, very obvious. Either you’re completely oblivious, or the idea of dating him is so horrifying to you, you understand but pretend you don’t. He really hopes it’s the former. 

He arrived in Edinburgh just a bit over a week ago, and you’ve seen each other almost every day. Out of those times, there isn’t a single one where he hasn’t tried to send something your way - something that says, hey, what if we stopped being friends and dated instead? Wouldn’t that be cool? Can’t you see how desperately I love you?, but you never latch on. The ball’s in your court, and he wants you to throw it back, but it’s been feeling more like a boomerang that always hits him right in the face when it circles back than a game of catch.

But he’s reminding himself not to be too greedy. Even if it’s just as friends, at least he has you back, so he’s satisfied with that. For now.

His first class of the year is on the following Tuesday morning, a ninety-minute seminar specifically made for exchange students called Discover Scotland. (He has Mondays free, resulting in a three-day weekend, which you and your 9am Monday tutorial are very envious of.) As interesting as the English Lit courses he’s taking seem, it’s this one he’s most looking forward to - except for the one class he shares with you, of course. Not even because of the seminars themselves, which will be about all sorts of topics on Scottish culture and history, but because of the coursework, as crazy as that sounds. It consists of a singular project, not due until the very last day of the semester, in which he has to travel to at least three different places in the country, research its background and provide a detailed account of his experience there. It can take any form: a written report, an in-class presentation, a podcast, anything. He could even film a TikTok if he wanted. Jake knew that being part of the Arts & Crafts club for two years in a row back in Seoul wasn’t for nothing - his scrapbooking skills would finally have their time to shine. 

That afternoon, he practically snatches you as you come out of your lecture, giving you little time to say bye to your friends, and makes you take him to the biggest stationary store you know in the city. If he wants to ace this project, he will need supplies. Many, many supplies. And it’s more fun shopping if you’re with him. You seem happy following him around the store, and when he asks you if you want to come on his trips with him, he can pretend it’s because you seem so excited about his project and not because he had thought of you accompanying him as soon as he heard about it.

As you stand in line at the till, you tell him that if he wants to start his project now, you could go to the beach together. You raise your eyebrows at him when he snaps your head towards you. “There’s a beach here?!”

“Did you not look at a map before coming here?” you ask, amused.

“I guess I didn’t…” he says, distraught at the new information. It only lasts a second, though. “Okay, let’s go now.”

“Now?” you echo, and he nods. “But-” you start, but are interrupted by your thoughts. “I guess there’s no reason not to. The weather’s nice and it’s not like I have any uni work yet. Let’s go,” you agree, looking up at him with a smile. You’re so pretty he almost forgets to look away, until the employee calls Next in a bored drawl. 

An hour later, you’re at the beach, barefoot on the sand and ice cream in hand. Strawberry for you and vanilla for him, he notes with a smile. Really not much has changed, he thinks. From the sand, to the water, to the promenade along the beach, Portobello is worlds away from the beaches back home in Australia, or those of Jeju Island. But it’s still nice, and because you’re with him, it’s even better. You’ve been walking around for an hour, splashing each other with water and mercilessly ruining sandcastles left behind before he realises you technically came here for his project. He writes down things he doesn’t want to forget on his phone and snaps a few pictures, sneaking a few of you when you’re not looking. He wants to tell you how beautiful you are with your hair blowing in the wind and the way the chill bites at your cheeks, but he keeps it a secret between him and his Notes app. 

Even though he lives two stops further down, he gets off from the bus with you, containing his excitement as best he can when you invite him up for a cup of tea. “Depends. What tea do you have?” he asks, trying and failing to play it cool. He’s just grateful he doesn’t have to come up with an excuse to spend more time with you.

You roll your eyes playfully as you unlock the front door to your building. “I can make you hot chocolate, Mister Tea-Is-For-Old-People.”

He chuckles. “Actually, I’ll have you know I started drinking tea at uni.” When you turn around to look at him, a surprised look on your face, he nods proudly. “Mh-hm. I got addicted to caffeine very quickly into first year so I started drinking black tea for the sake of my heart,” he explains.

“God,” you say breathily, sounding mildly horrified. “A caffeine addiction sounds intense.”

“It was, yeah,” he says, laughing as he follows you into your flat. 

Yunjin and Chaewon are sitting at the living room table, watching an episode of what he thinks is Gossip Girl, and they greet him as normally as these two can, but he wonders what the knowing look they exchange is all about. He’d met them the previous weekend when you had all gone for drinks together, along with Jay, Yunjin’s boyfriend, and they had all but grilled him on his relationship with you. He hadn’t thought much of it, chalking it up to your friends feeling protective of you, and truthfully, he was just happy to get to talk about you. But now, he was wondering if you had told them anything about him that made them so curious about him. If you did, he hoped it was something positive.

He stands awkwardly in the kitchen, chatting with you as you boil the water and get cups out, but he can feel their gazes burning the back of his head. Clearly, whatever conversation he’s having with you, he’s also having it with them. “How do you take your tea?” you ask.

“Um, three sugars and lots of milk, please,” he says, smiling innocently when you slowly turn to look at him, a mix of disapproval, disgust, and offence on your face. 

You sigh deeply. “I mean, I’ll do it, but I’m not sure that’s even tea anymore.”

“You’re one to talk, Miss Caramel Frappuccino,” he says, recycling your bad joke from earlier.

“At least I don’t claim to be drinking coffee when I order a frap,” you argue. “And this is how you battled your coffee addiction? You’ll be getting another kind of heart problem, Jakey.” He doesn’t know if you even notice your use of his old nickname - the first time you’ve used it since he’s been here - but you don’t make a big deal of it, so he doesn’t either. Not outwardly, at least. Mentally, he’s running laps around your small kitchen.

Jake laughs it off. “I thought I came here for tea, not a health check-up,” he says, smile growing wider at the sight of yours. 

“Right, sorry,” you say, giggling. “I’ll make your tea just how you like it,” you add in a sweet voice. Jake knows you’re just doing it as a joke, but it still manages to make butterflies erupt in his stomach. 

His tea tastes even sweeter that day.

--

A few days after your impromptu trip to the beach, you’re waiting for Jake outside of his class. He heard of this donut shop he “absolutely needs to visit” and is dragging you along with him - well, “dragging” is a big word considering you’d follow him anywhere. You got here a few minutes early, not needing much of a reason to leave the library, so you scroll through your feed until Jake calls out your name. You’re only mildly surprised to see Jay leaving the classroom behind him.

“Y/N! Can you believe that Jay and I are in the same class?” he says excitedly as the two boys walk toward you. You feel like a dog owner being greeted by their over-enthusiastic dog after a long day (about three hours) of being apart.

“I can believe it, actually. You two do the same degree.”

You exchange quick greetings with Jay before the three of you start heading out. As you walk, Jake throws his arm around your shoulders so casually, it almost throws you off balance. Physical contact always came easy to him, but there’s something about him doing it next to someone else that catches you off guard. It reminds you of walking somewhere with Jay and Yunjin as they discretely held hands. It makes you feel like it’s not the three of you, but Jay with the two of you. Like you and Jake come as a pair rather than as two individuals. 

All of that from a simple arm around your shoulders.

Jake asking you in a very unsubtle whisper whether Jay can come with brings you out of your head and back into the conversation. “Yeah, of course,” you say, smiling. It’s not a bad idea to have Jay along: hanging out with someone else might snap you out of your delusion.

Most of the walk to the shop is done in laughter as Jake and Jay realise how much random stuff they have in common, from their peanut allergies to the embarrassing Harry Potter phase they had as fifteen-year-olds. Grassmarket is really busy on Friday afternoons, and there’s a bit of a queue of other donut-enjoyers in front of the boutique, but you don’t mind. The sun is shining down gently on the square and it gives you time to choose your donut out of the ten or so flavours available. In the end, you go for white chocolate and raspberry, while Jake chooses Biscoff and Jay, tiramisu. 

“My friend Sunghoon would love this,” he says after taking a hearty bite. “He goes crazy over tiramisu. Like a cat with catnip.”

Jake chuckles, mouth full of Biscoff. “That’s funny, I also have a friend named Sunghoon who loves tiramisu back in Seoul.”

Jay punches Jake’s shoulder, eyes wide in amusement and shock. “Bro, that’s crazy. You have to be lying at this point,” he says, but Jake shakes his head fervently. 

“I promise I’m not. I’ve even saved his number with the tiramisu emoji.”

“There’s a tiramisu emoji?” Jay asks, already over questioning the existence of Jake’s Sunghoon.

The conversation circles back to the courses you’re all taking this semester, and Jake tells Jay about Discover Scotland and the trips he’s planned so far. “Well, if you really want to discover Scotland as a student, you need to go on a night out in Glasgow,” Jay says. Going by the look on Jake’s face, Jay’s idea seems to have struck a chord in him.

“Y/N?”

You nod, finishing your mouthful of donut before speaking. “Yeah, Glasgow’s really fun. We should go,” you say, laughing when the two boys high-five in victory. Between the train, the drinks and the club entry, going out isn’t a cheap ordeal, and getting to and fro also takes a while - even so, the smile on Jake’s face makes it worth it. 

He wipes some raspberry jam from the corner of your mouth, shooting you a wink, and you want to disintegrate right then and there, become one with the bench you’re sitting on and never have to face him again. The conversation resumes as Jay tells Jake about all the best places to go out in Glasgow, but you don’t hear a word - the feeling of Jake’s thumb so close to your lips takes away your ability for coherent thought.

“It’s decided, then. We’re going out tomorrow night,” Jay loudly announces. “Let me gather the troops.”

That’s how you find yourself in line for the club the next day, already tipsy from pre-drinking on the train and at the pub. It’s still warm enough for you and the girls to wear as little clothing as you want, but Jake insisted on giving you his flannel jacket anyway. If not for the warmth it brings, you’re glad to have his scent enveloping you.

The five of you work exceptionally well together. You, Chaewon and Yunjin have been a given since you met in first year, and Jay and Yunjin went so well together that he was but a natural addition to your little group. Jake’s only been here for over a week, but it’s like he’s always been around, and you couldn’t be happier about it. Him and Jay hit it off immediately, and although the girls needed some time to warm up to him (it’s not everyday that you meet your friend’s ex-best-friend she’s practically always been in love with; you understand why they might’ve been wary at first), they now tease him just as relentlessly as they do Jay. He takes it like a champ.

For a little while, you watch your friends speaking over each other, bickering over nothing, a smile on your face. Two pints of cider and some of Jay’s fancy vodka have made you more grateful than ever for them - if you drink too much in the club, you’ll be hugging them and crying about how much you love them. You’re not sure what that might look like around Jake, so you decide to keep yourself in check for the night. 

It takes about thirty minutes before you manage to get into the club. It’s not coat check season yet, so you head straight to the bar. “Sunghoon said he’d meet us here,” Jay says, lifting his head to spot his friend in the sea of drunk students. “Oh yeah, there he is! Hoon, hey!” 

You hear a loud “Jongseong!” being shouted from somewhere in the crowd, but you’re not sure who Jay is waving at until a boy whose face is mostly eyebrows is standing - well, standing as best as he can, with the copious amount of alcohol he’s obviously already consumed - in front of you. He gives Jay a hug and the three of you a nod of his head, a lopsided smile on his face. When he turns to Jake, his eyebrows lift first, then his face breaks into a wide grin.

“Jake, my man!” he shouts, taking a stunned Jake’s hand and bringing him into a hug. 

“Sunghoon? What the hell are you doing here?” he asks, chuckling and frowning in confusion. 

“I’m just partying, man! Same as you!”

“No, I mean here in Scotland, you dumbass!”

“You two know each other?” Jay asks, looking back and forth between his two friends.

“Jake’s my man!” Sunghoon exclaims, unhelpful and stumbling as he throws an arm around his man’s shoulders. Jake shoots you a distressed look but you just laugh at him.

“This is Tiramisu Sunghoon I told you about,” Jake says, helping Sunghoon stand up straight.

“God, what I would do for a tiramisu right now,” Sunghoon says, looking at Yunjin like she might relate. She chuckles awkwardly.

“I have no idea what he’s doing in Scotland, though. Hoon, I thought you were going to NYU for your exchange?”

Sunghoon pauses to think for a second, looking like he’s never heard of NYU in his life. “Oh, that! Yeah, I did an online orientation thing and… it did not go well. Let’s just say there’s someone in New York City who wants me dead,” he says conspiratorially. You all stare at him but he gives no further explanation. On your right, you hear Yunjin whisper what the fuck under her breath. “So I transferred here instead!”

“I didn’t know you were an exchange student,” Jay says, still looking just as confused.

“Yeah, man! But anyways, let’s not talk about uni right now. I’m on a bender, day three, baby! Do not talk to me tomorrow,” he says, chuckling until the smile suddenly drops from his face. “I mean that.” You look around yourself, glad to find everyone is just as baffled as you. “Let’s party!” Sunghoon cheers, intoxicated grin back on his lips. Jake and Jay follow, but you and the girls stay back for a second, taking in everything that has just happened.

“That. Is the most beautiful man I have ever seen,” Chaewon blurts, staring blankly at the spot Sunghoon stood in a second ago.

“Yeah, he also seems to be a raging alcoholic. And he’s what, twenty-one?” Yunjin says, a scowl on her face. 

“I could fix him.”

“Okay, let’s go,” you say, grabbing your friends by their wrists before either of them can say something worse.

Feeling generous, Sunghoon buys shots for all six of you, and you quickly down them before heading to the dancefloor. On your way there, a group of sober-looking girls hand Chaewon a giant, still almost full jug of red liquid, something that costs at least twelve pounds here. They say they’re leaving and don’t need it anymore, smiling as you profusely and astonishedly thank them. You look at your friends, mentally weighing the risk and drugging possibility this might present, but shrug and pass the jug around after taking hearty sips anyway. It tastes so much like fizzy cherries that you wonder if it even contains any alcohol, but sure enough, twenty minutes later, the three of you are spinning around on the dancefloor, screaming the lyrics to your favourite pop songs at the top of your lungs. Jake at a club is a completely foreign sight to you, and you can’t stop laughing at all the silly moves he pulls. 

You’re shaking your whole body to a Nicki song from the early 2010s when you suddenly feel a hand on your hip. Before you can turn around and slap whoever this random man is that thinks he can touch you, a familiar voice whispers it’s just me in your ear, and you simultaneously relax and tense up knowing that Jake is standing right behind you. “There’s a creep staring at you,” he explains, lips and breath gently tickling your ear as he speaks. You look around the room and quickly notice a man standing in a corner, drink in one hand and the other in his pocket, unmoving as he eyes you with a smirk so slimy it makes your stomach turn. To avoid his gaze, you turn around, but you’re not sure the sight you’re met with is much better for you.

Jake peers down at you, eyes slightly glossed over and cheeks flushed from the alcohol, jaw locked in annoyance. He glances at the guy in the corner, who you assume is still staring when you feel Jake’s hands brush along your sides until they reach your waist. His gaze returns to your face as he brings you a step closer to him. Reflexively, you wrap your arms around his neck. 

“Is this okay?” he mouths. All you can do is meekly nod. You watch as his eyes deliberately scan your face, going down and down. Time stills when they reach your lips and stay there. It’s like someone has put the booming music of the club on mute, and the only thing you can hear is your heart loudly beating in your ears. You suddenly feel very sober.

You swear Jake’s face is slowly inching its way towards yours when you’re abruptly taken away. Yunjin has grabbed you by the forearm, leading you and Chaewon to the bathroom as she chants “Bathroom break! Bathroom break!”, clearly unaware of the moment she’s just interrupted.

Because of the queue for the girls’ bathroom and Chaewon’s decision to console this random girl who was in the middle of a breakdown, it’s not until half-an-hour later that you emerge back into the crowd. You spot the boys at a table, two empty shots each in front of them and all three with a beer in hand. They will not be happy checking their bank accounts tomorrow morning. 

“Y/N! You’re back!” Jake calls out happily when he spots you, and you can tell right away that he’s much drunker than when you left him. His whole face is flush, his eyes don’t open quite all the way, and a lopsided smile won’t leave his lips - even like this, he’s so pretty that you want to grab his hand and take him somewhere it’s just the two of you. 

Chaewon gets drinks for the three of you and then you’re dancing again. It’s already one am at this point, and the remaining two hours until the club closes, fueled with alcohol and good music, go by in a flash. Before you know it, the DJ is playing All of Me by John Legend and the lights have been turned on, clear signs that you’re overstaying your welcome. The few people that have made it to closing time stumble out of the club and into the street, heading for either the nearest subway stop or the next party of the night. Since there are no trains at this time, your group walks to the close-by bus station, listening to Jake and Sunghoon grumble about how the clubs in Seoul don’t close until at least five or six and how trains run all night there. 

The bus is already at the station when you get there, and the driver doesn’t seem too pleased about having six mildly drunk kids get on his bus, but he’s probably used to questionable people taking public transport at this time of the day anyway. Physically, Sunghoon is sitting across from you, but mentally, he’s off somewhere far, far from this bus. With his head against the window and mouth wide open, saliva pooling at the corner of his lips, he looks like he’s any second away from obnoxiously snoring. Jay and Yunjin are sitting somewhere you can’t see them, probably eating each other’s faces; she once told you they had their “most mind-blowing sex” when both a little drunk, and much to your dismay, you haven’t been able to get that piece of information out of your head since. Chaewon is on the phone to her long-distance bestie Sakura, for whom it’s a nice eleven in the morning right now. 

This means that you and Jake are left alone, both of you still tipsy and not tired enough to fall asleep. You drop your head on Jake’s shoulder, and not only does he let you, he also takes your hand in his, interlacing your fingers and placing them atop his thigh. Clumsily, because he now has to use his left hand, Jake slips his phone out of his back pocket and shows you the photos he took all evening. As the night progresses, they get blurrier and blurrier, so much so that towards the end, you can’t tell what he was even trying to capture, and you laugh at how inappropriate some of these would be to submit in a university project. 

When he softly says your name, you don’t raise your head, simply humming to let him know you’re listening. You close your eyes, cherishing the way your name sounds on his lips. It’s his tone, tentative and vulnerable as he tells you there’s something he’s been wanting to ask you, that makes you look up at him. He, however, won’t meet your eyes, and settles his gaze on the window, even though it’s so dark outside you can’t make out a thing.

“How come you never replied to my letter? I know it’s been ages, but… I still find myself wondering about it.” The question is softly asked and you know he by no means wants to hurt you, but it still feels like a punch to the throat. You hadn’t remembered who it was that had sent the last letter, while he’d been wondering all these years why his words had been left unanswered. 

He seems set on not looking at you, so you rest your head back on his shoulder. Your hand is still in his. “I’m not sure, Jakey. I’m sorry,” you say, aware it’s not a satisfying answer. You’ve thought about why you and Jake had stopped talking for hours on end; you’ve discussed it with your friends and your mum, looked at it from all sorts of angles, tried to come up with real reasons other than time pulling you apart. But now that Jake himself is asking you about it, the words don’t come easy. You’ve theorised that you were afraid putting effort into sustaining your friendship would only hurt you in the end, because it was just that - a friendship. You could fool yourself into thinking you were okay only being friends with him when he was with you, that putting your feelings aside was worth it since you could at least spend time with him. But now that he was away, you didn’t have that anymore - it just hurt. So what was the point? And how could you phrase all this without betraying your feelings for him?

“Our letters were so sparse anyway back then, even our texts and calls were getting less and less frequent… And whenever I had a new boyfriend, I’d get into the same argument about being too close to you over and over again, even though you were literally on another continent.” 

“You know, I always felt sorry about that.”

“About what?”

“Those boyfriends of yours. I felt like you waited for me to leave before you started dating-”

“It wasn’t like that!” you exclaim, lifting your head again. Finally, he meets your eyes, gaze softening upon seeing your affronted expression. “It wasn’t like that,” you repeat, relaxing your tone. “If anything, they were the ones that waited for you to be gone. I'm sorry I let their jealousy get to me.”

Jake smiles, the tenderness in his gaze making your whole body turn to jelly. He squeezes your hands. “It’s okay. I just… I felt like I was always in the way of your relationships, even after I left.”

“You don’t have to feel sorry about that. They should’ve had more trust in me.”

He pauses, gaze dropping down to your intertwined hands. “I would’ve been jealous.” When his eyes find yours again, there’s something in them that you quite can’t place. It creates a ball of nerves that pull at your stomach. “If I were dating you, and you had a guy friend you were as close with as we were back then, I’d be jealous. You know, I’d assume he had feelings for you. And that you might have feelings for him, too.”

Because I did, you think. I did, and I still do. You try to communicate that thought to Jake, but telepathy works especially bad when one has as much alcohol coursing through their veins as you do right now. So instead, you say the opposite of what you’re thinking, turning away from Jake to avoid his gaze. You watch the dribble of saliva trickle from Sunghoon’s lips. “That’s not a great view of male-female friendship.” 

Jake’s retort comes immediately. “But we were different, right?”

His words echo through your head until they make even less sense than they did initially. Different from what? From who? You’re not sure - but you like the idea of you and Jake being different, special. You especially like the idea of Jake thinking so. So you look at him and smile. “Right.” 

Slowly, his grin fades and turns into a worried expression. “Y/N?”

“Mm?”

“We’re still different now, aren’t we?”

You want to wrap him in your arms so tightly neither of you can breathe. You settle for running a hand through his hair and pinching his cheek. “Course we are.” Your whole being relaxes when his face breaks into a smile again. 

--

The next morning, you wake up to Yunjin plopping down on your bed unceremoniously, shaking you awake, and asking you if you want anything from Snax Café. On one hand, you’re grateful that she thought of you and that in thirty minutes’ time, you’ll have the greasiest sausage wrap and hash browns known to man in your hand; on the other, you’d like to think that she knows you well enough to know to order your regular from there without asking. But that’s probably the hangover talking.

You stumble out of bed, thanking last night’s you for having remembered to take headache medicine before crashing. Even if your stomach is very upset with the copious amount of alcohol it needs to rid your body of, and your throat is begging for water, at least your head doesn’t feel like it’s been split into two. As Yunjin barges into Chaewon’s room just as she had done yours, you head for the kitchen to get yourself a tall glass of revitalising tap water. You’re only mildly surprised to find Sunghoon passed out on your living room couch - it takes you a few seconds to remember that the three of you took pity on him when you learned he lived over an hour’s walk from the station, so you let him spend the night on your uncomfortable, cold leather sofa. While you down your glass in three gulps, you hear Yunjin shaking Sunghoon awake and asking him loudly if he wanted something from Snax.

“Fuck, I’d kill for a Snax right now,” he groggily says before he’s even opened his eyes. When he does, they dart around the room until they land on Yunjin, who's crouching in front of him. He looks like he thought her question was asked in a dream and not in real life. He also looks like he's not quite sure where he is, or who Yunjin is. It isn’t until Jay comes wobbling out of Yunjin’s bed to the couch opposite Sunghoon that the memories seem to piece back together in his head. The three of you watch him like he’s an unstable mental patient and you’re his doctors. 

“No need for that, I’m ordering it on Deliveroo.” He nods his head and goes back to sleep for the time being. 

Just as you’re about to text Jake, your phone rings with a call from him. His raspy morning voice as he asks you whether you slept well makes you want to put your head in an oven heated at 200 degrees Celsius. However, you resist the urge, and answer him with a smile, then ask him the same question.

“I slept pretty well too. I’d have slept in longer but one of my flatmates decided to have a Sunday fucking brunch and his friends are so loud. Can I come over?”

You’re very aware of the other people in the room, especially of Chaewon who has just walked in and is eyeing you suspiciously as if to say, Why are you smiling so hard at ten in the morning? You know the girls would jump at any opportunity to tease you about Jake, and with the added presence of Sunghoon in the room, you can’t have that. So you stifle the giggles bubbling in your throat and answer as nonchalantly as you can. It also gives you the chance to reflect on why Jake Sim asking you whether he can come over makes you want to giggle like a giddy schoolgirl so much.

(Maybe it’s because when it comes to him, you’re still the giddy schoolgirl you used to be.)

“Yeah, of course. I was going to ask you if you wanted anything from Snax, actually.”

“Snax? What’s that?”

“Oh my God, Jake, am I about to introduce you to Snax right now?”

Twenty minutes later, the six of you are sitting around your small living room table, all varying amounts of tired, dehydrated and famished as you dig into your breakfast. Given your current levels of energy, it’s fairly quiet; plus, the food hits such a spot that it’s hard to talk and eat at the same time. Jake eats like he’s never had a breakfast wrap and hash brown in his life. It’s an endearing sight if you’ve ever seen one. 

You spend the afternoon together, watching movies curled up in your bed, and you try desperately not to think about the implications of that - except that’s hard to do when Jake is right next to you, legs and arms ever-so-slightly brushing against yours, his warmth so close yet so out of reach. You purposefully let him pick movies you’ve already seen so that you don’t have to focus on anything but your own thoughts and the faint but dizzying scent of his body wash. The both of you had an innumerable amount of sleepovers as kids, so this shouldn’t feel weird, but it decidedly does, probably because you’re much more aware of him now in a way you weren’t before.  

As hard as you try to figure out what exactly he meant by “different,” you draw a blank. The only way you’ll understand is if you ask him, and you’re far too scared to do that. You don’t want to seem so hung upon a singular word he used when he was tipsy. It might be slightly dramatic, but you felt like some sort of balance had been restored since Jake was back in your life - the problem was it made you scared to do anything that might threaten this newfound equilibrium. It at least seems like different means a good thing to him, and that’s enough for you. 

You look over to him when the second movie comes to an end. He’s sleeping peacefully, lashes caressing the skin under his eyes and cheeks looking rounder than usual. It’d be so easy to reach a finger out and trace the line descending from the top of his forehead to his chin, gliding along the bump of his nose and feeling the plumpness of his rosy lips, but you settle for drawing that line with your eyes instead.  

You don’t think you’ll be able to fall asleep with him next to you and your heart beating so loudly in your ears, but you find yourself waking up a few hours later, the sun already starting to set. Jake is already awake, scrolling on his phone, one arm casually behind his head as if being in your bed is as comfortable to him as being in his own. When he sees you’ve woken up, his honey-coated smile washes warmly over you, and he makes a joke about how he keeps on falling asleep when he’s with you. “I feel that at ease, I guess,” he says, and you hope you’re not making up the small blush that spreads over his cheeks. 

--

Semesters are always a short and intense affair, but this one passes by even quicker with Jake by your side. Before you know it, it’s midterms already, and you and Jake have travelled enough for him to complete his project and make another one just for the hell of it. He had scoured the internet for the cheapest train tickets and most noteworthy sites, planning trips that lasted anywhere between three hours and a day for the two of you. All you needed to do was follow and trust him, which was the easiest thing anyone could’ve asked of you. 

You’ve gone back to Glasgow, during the day, this time, as well as St. Andrews and Aberdeen. You’ve practically visited every loch and castle in a one-hour train ride radius of Edinburgh, and Jake has more lined up for the second part of the semester. He’s even said that your trips should continue being a thing next term, and you couldn’t have agreed faster. With every new destination, every train ride spent looking out a window or laughing about everything and anything, any odd Scottish food you try for the first time, you somehow fall for him a bit deeper. You didn’t know your love for him could bloom any more than it already had - but Jake is the gift that keeps on giving, and, unwillingly or not, he always finds new ways to make your heart speed that much faster.

Attentionate, affectionate, sweet Jake who always makes sure you’re comfortable wherever you go, always gives you his jacket or tucks your hair behind your ear to prevent it from falling in your face. Who, as time passed, grew more touchy, would hold your hand, ruffle your hair, pinch your cheek, which was simultaneously devastating and elating. Who, you could tell, started to linger more, both in his touch and in his gaze. Questions of does he love me back or am I seeing what I want to see? nearly drove you mad. 

--

“I feel like at this point the only way she’ll understand that I like her is if I kill myself and write in my suicide note that it’s her fault for not loving me back.”

Jake has been pacing back and forth in Jay’s living room for approximately twenty minutes, with no end in sight. At least he’ll have gotten most of his ten thousand steps of the day in.

Jay sighs heavily. “Okay, I really don’t think you need to go that far.”

“Sounds romantic to me,” Sunghoon says, mouth full of salted caramel popcorn.

“I hope you never get a girlfriend,” Jay retorts, looking at his deranged friend with a scowl. He turns back to his (slightly more) normal friend and gives him a sympathetic smile. 

“I mean, I told her we were different. Different. That we weren’t like regular friends. I tell her she’s pretty every chance I get. I give her my jacket all the time, even though this country is fucking cold. I’ve even given her a t-shirt of mine, sprayed with my perfume and everything. And don’t get me wrong, I do it ‘cause I love doing that for her-”

“Simp,” Sunghoon snickers.

“But what the hell else can I do? Like, she has to be ignoring it on purpose at this point.” 

“You could always, you know… tell her?”

Jake scoffs, fixing his friend with a derisive look. “Wow. What a great idea, Jay, I never thought of that one before!”

A popcorn lands right on Jay’s cheek. “You’re so clueless, man,” Sunghoon says, a shit-eating smirk on his lips. As if he knows any better.

Jay looks back-and-forth between his friends, an expression on his face like he’s been disparaged. “Sorry, I didn’t know being straightforward and honest was such a bad thing. It would just make things a lot clearer for the both of you.”

“But… I’m scared,” Jake says. 

“Man up!” Sunghoon suddenly yells, punching the sofa next to him, making his friends jump. “How can she ever figure it out if you don’t tell her?”

“You were on my side just a second ago, man, what are you doing?” Jake asks, confusion written all over his face. Sunghoon’s eyes dart back and forth between the two boys, retreating into silence as he stuffs his mouth with another handful of popcorn.

“Just ignore him,” Jay says. “But for once, he did say something that makes a modicum of sense. You think you’re being really obvious, but you might not actually be. Which could be a good sign, you know. I heard girls were super aware of a guy liking them if they weren’t into him, but being totally oblivious if they did like him.”

“Where did you hear that?” Jake asks, an eyebrow raised in suspicion.

“...Instagram Reels,” Jay reluctantly admits, frowning at Sunghoon who bursts into laughter. 

Jake holds the bridge of his nose between two fingers like his head aches. “You’re both so useless, I’m never coming to you with my problems ever again.”

“I’ll pretend I’m not offended by that.”

“I’d rather you didn’t, anyway,” Sunghoon says. He’s smiling but Jake genuinely can’t tell if he’s joking or not.

“But seriously, if you think you’ve done everything, then just do one last thing that’s so obvious she can’t misinterpret it,” Jay says.

“Like what?”

“Like kissing her, or some-”

“Kissing her?!” Jake echoes.

“That’s wild, man,” Sunghoon uselessly butts in.

“It’s just an example, calm yourselves,” Jay says. “Or, again, just straight up tell her how you feel. It’s what I did with Yunjin, and it worked.”

“You and Yunjin are dating?” Sunghoon asks, bewildered.

Jay shakes his head at him. “Where the hell have you been, bro? We were literally cuddling on the couch the other day.”

“I just thought you were really good friends, or something.”

Jake groans, holding his head in his hands. Sunghoon was of no help whatsoever, and Jay was so on point that it annoyed him. Confessing was the only solution - but Jake was so afraid of being rejected and losing your friendship that he had barely entertained the thought. But he had found the courage to do it once, and even though his planned confession had fallen through back then, he could get himself together and do it again. 

It was the day he had told you he was moving to Korea, which he himself had learned that morning. Originally, he’d texted you because he had news to share - good news. Or at least, he hoped they were good. He hoped the soft, lingering looks you gave him weren’t a figment of his imagination but rather the confirmation he needed that you liked him back. He hoped that like him, you cared too much about your friendship to make the first move into something else; that by confessing first, you’d be relieved of that responsibility; that his wish to hold your hand and kiss your forehead wasn’t one-sided. 

He decided not to prepare anything - just a couple sentences that he’d rehearsed over and over in his head. Declarations of love, bouquets of flowers, chocolate and couple keychains, all that could wait until after you’d said yes to being his girlfriend. He didn’t want to win you over just once, he wanted to show you every day how much he loved you. Fourteen-year-old Jake was absolutely head over heels for you; so imagine his disappointment when, as he was getting ready to meet with you, his parents called him downstairs, a tone to their voice Jake wasn’t familiar with, but that couldn’t mean anything good. 

“Your dad’s job is sending us back to Seoul next month,” his mom announced, not beating around the bush. He felt everything quite literally crumbling down around him. His friends in Brisbane, his school, his hobbies, but above all, you. He’d lose it all. And what was the point now in telling you how he felt? If you felt the same way, it would only make his departure that much harder, and if you didn’t, it would ruin your last moments together. It just wasn’t worth it.

What he had planned to be good news turned into the most awful ones. The thought of it happening all over again makes twenty-year-old Jake shudder. But he wouldn’t let himself be trapped by time again - sure, in seven months, the academic year would be over, and he would go back to Korea. But that didn’t mean that those seven months should be spent in agony, or the following ones either, for that matter. You would make it work. What was long-distance to someone who loved someone else as much as Jake loved you?

But he doesn’t want to get ahead of himself. He has to start by really resolving to do this, and in the off-chance that it actually goes in his favour, he’d start worrying about long distance then.

First, he has a trip to plan.

--

You should’ve known that a trip to the Scottish Highlands in the middle of November was a risky choice in terms of weather. The day started off nicely enough - no sign of rain when you woke up or as you watched the sunrise through the train window. Clouds turned the sky a bright white at first, then increasingly greyer and greyer. You feel the first drops of rain after lunch as you walk around a small village. By four pm, it’s pitch black and storming like you’ve rarely seen before. You head into a pub to grab a drink as you wait for the rain to subside, but subside it does not. You end up ordering fish and chips, one each, although one serving is enough to feed three. Even after taking your time eating, the bad weather does not let up. The last train, which is meant to be at eight pm, has been cancelled. Luckily, there’s an inn right across the road from the pub; you have no choice but to spend the night. 

The inn receptionist is sitting so low on her chair, you can barely see her over the desk until you’re standing right over it. Her face is hidden by a book and it’s only when you say hiya that she seems to realise you’re there. You had never heard of the book or of its author, but you recognized the cover design as that of those romance novels with repetitive plots and weirdly misogynistic love interests your mum and every other middle-aged woman was obsessed with.

Her smile widens as she looks between you and Jake. “Hi there. One room for the lovely couple?”

“Oh, we’re not-”

“Yes, please,” Jake interrupts, smiling down at her, then at you. “It’ll be cheaper if we share a room.”

“Our only room with two single beds is already taken, I’m afraid. One double bed okay for you two?”

You feel like you’re about to faint, so you’re glad Jake is there to answer. “Yeah, of course.” How the idea of sharing one bed with you is so okay to him, you’re not sure - granted, you’ve done it before, but this feels different. For all intents and purposes, this is a hotel room you’re staying in. And you’re staying in it with Jake. 

You try to calm your breathing as the receptionist guides you to your room, chatting casually with Jake on the way there. As she unlocks the door for you, she informs you that check-out must be done before eleven in the morning tomorrow, then bids you good night and leaves you to it, still wearing that smile you swear has mischievousness to it. The door clicks shut behind you, and it’s just Jake and you again, together in this small room until tomorrow morning. Your chances of survival are very, very low. 

Your room is a humble one, consisting of a desk, a cupboard, two armchairs, a small, separate bathroom and the infamous bed. Every surface seems to be covered with wood, from the ceiling, to the walls, to the old-fashioned furniture. Only the floor is a soft, beige carpet. Especially with the darkness outside, it makes for a gloomy room until you turn on the lamp by the entrance; it casts a warm, golden light in the room, one that would make you feel at ease if it wasn’t for Jake’s presence next to you. The implications of being essentially trapped in a barely-lit room with him are heavy on your mind, especially when he looks this gorgeous with his hair still damp from the rain and the soft lights playing on his face. 

His voice brings you out of your thoughts. “Right. Do you, um, do you wanna shower first?” he asks, setting his bag on one of the armchairs.

“Oh. Yeah, sure.” There has never been such an awkward tension between the two of you, but you know you’re not doing anything to ease it. You hope a shower will help you get out of your head and make you relax.

You feel the tension leave your muscles under the hot water, but your stomach is still in knots. You’ve never been this nervous around Jake before; back when you were fourteen and again in these past few months, you’d gotten so used to dealing with your unspoken feelings for him that you could almost forget about them when you were with him. They’d come back to you when you were alone and dwelling on the moments you’d spent together, on his words and actions you desperately tried not to read too much into but always ended up doing anyway. But right now, they’ve floated to the surface, becoming as obvious to you as a stain on your skin you can’t rub away. You’re scared Jake will notice it, and, in the worst case scenario you often thought about, would run away and never speak to you again. 

At least the raging storm outside would make that a bit harder.

When you step out of the shower, you curse yourself for not having worn more comfortable clothes on this trip. You definitely can’t wear these jeans and button-up sweater to lounge around. Thankfully, the inn provides two long bathrobes that you could wear over underwear and your tank top, but you wonder where on the scale of inappropriate this would be to wear with Jake in the room. He’s seen you in short pyjama shorts before, but this, like everything else that would usually be normal between the two of you, feels weird today. 

You wrap the bathrobe around yourself, tying it in place around your waist, and decide that it’d only be weird if you made it weird. And if Jake found the sight of your bare legs weird, then he was the weird one.

The scene you’re met with as you walk into the room makes you want to retreat into the bathroom immediately. Jake is lying on the bed with his upper half against the headboard, one leg extended and the other one bent, resting his head against one palm, using his free hand to scroll through his phone. His t-shirt has ridden up slightly, putting the waistband of his Calvin Kleins into view. Worst of all, when he sees you, his face breaks into a grin. 

Your stomach twists when he gives you a once-over, letting his gaze linger on your legs. “Did you bring a bathrobe with you or was it included?” he asks with an annoyingly handsome smirk.

You roll your eyes. “Yes, I bring a bathrobe with me wherever I go,” you say sarcastically. “Now shut up and go shower, you stink.” Reverting to insults is always the solution when you’re internally freaking out.

“Yes, ma’am.” 

He takes so long in the shower that by the time he comes out, you’ve dozed off in bed. As if you were a child, he wakes you up with a boop to the nose, crouching next to the bed and smiling at you. His wet hair falls on his head like that of a movie star in a shower scene, which you find extremely unfair, and his cheeks are red from the warmth of the water. 

“It’s still early. Do you wanna go grab another drink?”

“In our bathrobes?” you say, laughing. “Nah, I don’t really feel like drinking anyway.” Read: I’m not sure what I’ll do with alcohol in me.

“Okay, no worries. Um, I think I saw they had board games in the lobby?”

Your ears perk up at this. “Ooh, what kind of board games?”

Putting jeans on underneath his bathrobe, Jake slips away for a minute and comes back with Monopoly, Uno, and a deck of cards. “They didn’t have much for two players,” he says, dumping everything on the bed. 

You already knew that anything would become fun if you did it with Jake, but you definitely didn’t expect to spend almost five hours just playing Monopoly and card games with him. Neither of you stays put for very long, always switching from sitting criss-cross to laying on your stomach, making fun of the other’s bathrobe even though you’re wearing the exact same thing. You make each other laugh as you make up your own nonsense rules and disregard the laws of your games, attacking the other ruthlessly for a couple extra points or coins. Jake even makes you go get snacks from a corner store that’s miraculously still open because you lose the first round of Uno. 

After some time, Jake lets out a loud yawn, which in turn makes you yawn too. He checks his phone to find that it’s close to midnight already. “Time for bed?” he asks, and your nervousness that had finally dissipated as you played came rushing back. 

You nod. “Yeah, sounds good.”

The two of you clean up before brushing your teeth. Even that, with Jake by your side, becomes a silly affair as he pulls faces in the mirror and nudges your hip with his. You stay behind to use the toilet, and when you come back out, Jake’s already in bed, bathrobe tossed on one of the armchairs. This means that Jake is just casually in a t-shirt and boxers, waiting for you to join him in bed. Luckily, his back is turned to you, so you quickly take off your own bathrobe and slide under the sheets, careful to keep your distance from him. The sheets are cold underneath you, and you know it’ll take a while before your body heat warms them up - although you feel very hot and bothered because of the man lying next to you. 

“Gosh, I’m really sleepy all of a sudden,” he says, words distorted by a yawn. You only hum in response, and he reaches for the lamp to turn it off. Just like that, you’re in complete darkness, and Jake’s body is mere inches from your own. 

It’s eerily quiet for a while, and when you’ve managed to slow your heartbeat and regularise your breathing, you start trying to fall asleep. You toss and turn, unable to find a comfortable position until Jake’s low, sleepy voice breaks the silence. “Can’t sleep?” he asks, and you freeze.

You sigh. “No. I’m sorry for keeping you up,” you say guiltily.

“It’s okay. I can’t really sleep either. It’s a bit cold in here.”

You pause. “Right. Yeah, it is,” you say, even though you feel like you’re sweating buckets. 

The room plunges into silence again, long enough for you to think Jake has fallen asleep. You feel something cold against your foot, only realising as it slides up your calf that it’s his foot. “Jake!” you whisper-yell, withdrawing your leg as he bursts into giggles that warm your heart. “Your feet are so cold,” you say in-between chuckles.

“I’m cold all over,” he whines. “Have they not turned the heating on yet? It’s already mid-November.”

“People are used to the cold here.”

“Well I’m not. Can we cuddle?” he suddenly asks, and he must somehow feel the way you freeze in place because he stammers out a justification straight away. “For, I mean, just for warmth, you know. I don’t think I’ll sleep otherwise.”

His foot finds yours again and you can’t help but laugh. “Sure, fine,” you say with a sigh as if you were doing only half-heartedly for his sake. As if this was some big sacrifice you were making, and not something you’d daydreamed about one too many times before. 

Your heart is beating a thousand miles a second when you scooch closer to Jake, his hands finding your waist as easily as if they’d been there a hundred times before. He pulls you in much closer than you had expected, holding you tightly against his chest, one arm for you to use as a pillow and one hand resting on your lower back. You try to calm your respiration so that he can’t hear how short of breath you are, but based on his own breathing, he seems to be out in five minutes. It takes you longer to fall asleep, every shift of his body sending shivers down your spine, but you manage to relax after some time, letting his warmth envelop you as you drift off to sleep.

--

The feeling of waking up with you in his arms is so unreal, Jake thinks he might still be dreaming.

He looks down at your peaceful sleeping face and can’t stop the smile that spreads on his lips. Jake always thinks you’re pretty, but this is a sight he particularly wants to commit to memory. He watches fondly as the bright sun rays of the early morning hit your face, making you scrunch your eyebrows and bury your face deeper against him. You grunt softly, and when he feels you shifting and stretching your legs, he pretends to fall asleep so you don’t catch him staring. It seems like you’ve raised your head, chin tilted towards him - if he’s lucky, you’re watching him “sleep” just like he did seconds ago.

He contains a smile at the joke that forms itself in his brain before shooting his eyes open, catching you off guard during what you thought was a private, secret moment. 

“Shit!” you yelp, practically jumping off of him and rolling onto the other side of the bed. He bursts into laughter, proud that his little prank was effective. Before you can scold him, he makes his way to you, wrapping an arm around your waist and bringing your back against his chest. He thinks he feels your body tense; but then you bring your hand over his, swiping your thumb back and forth against his skin, and you relax in his hold. “You’re so annoying,” you complain, but your voice is tender, almost weak.

He buries his face in your hair, trying not to be too loud when he inhales there. “Sorry,” he says, the smile evident in his voice. “The opportunity was right there. Caught you staring, huh?”

“You’re such an idiot.”

“I’ll take that as a yes.” It’s quiet for a few minutes, and Jake is more than happy to enjoy this moment in silence, but there’s something burning the tip of his tongue. It’s been there for a while now, but he thinks he’s finally found the right moment. “Y/N?���

“Mm?”

“There’s something I couldn’t tell you last night, but I feel oddly okay saying it right now. Are you listening?” 

“I am, yeah,” you say gently, voice so soft it caresses his skin and draws goosebumps from it.

His chest expands and falls with a deep, shaky breath. With your back right against it, he’s scared you’ll hear that his heart is beating faster than it should. “Bad news first?” he says with a nervous chuckle.

“Uh-oh.”

“There’s no roundabout way to say this, so here goes, I guess.” He takes another breath. “I’m in love with you, Y/N.” You tense in his embrace, and he waits for you to say something, anything before he continues.

“Oh,” is all you say. He hopes it’s a good oh - even if it isn’t, he doesn’t let it deter him.

“Yeah. I really debated telling you this… I know you might not feel the same way. But I also know that if I don’t say anything and make the same mistake twice, I’ll beat myself up over it for the rest of my life.”

“The same mistake?” you ask, looking at him over your shoulder.

He gazes down at you tenderly, pushing hair away from your face with a gentle hand. “I already felt that way back when we lived in Australia. I was about to tell you but when I learned that I was moving, I didn’t wanna risk ruining the little time we had left together.”

The look on your face both breaks his heart and patches it up again. “Jakey…” you say, voice just a whisper. You turn around to face him and bury your face in the crook of his neck. The fact that you’re not saying much is making his stomach twist in agonising stress, but he takes it as a good sign that you’re still holding him tight and not running away.

“I think I’d be the luckiest guy on Earth if you felt the same way,” he says, hopefulness clear in his voice. 

And then he finally hears the words he’s been dying to hear all these years. “Of course, I feel the same way, Jake,” you say, eyes meeting his. “This isn’t bad news at all, it’s like, the best possible news ever.”

It takes him a few seconds, but when your words sink in, a bright smile graces his features. He feels tears coming up - tears of relief that you feel the same way, of sadness that it took the both of you so long to get here, of happiness that something new might start - he’s not sure. Perhaps everything at once.

“Of course?” he echoes, smiling wildly. “It wasn’t obvious to me.”

“Oh, gosh,” you murmur, burying yourself into him once more. “I can’t believe this is actually happening.”

He tightened his hold around you, bringing you to him as close as physically possible. “Me neither.”

The feeling of you tangling your bare legs with his and bunching up the fabric of his t-shirt in your fist awakens something in him - he had been in his head, thanking the heavens that you loved him back, reeling from his belated confession, but he was now very aware of his body. And of yours. He was reminded of Jay telling him to kiss you - although he hadn’t needed to go there to reveal his feelings to you, it was still a possibility. It was even more so now that he knew you felt the same way. 

He tries to be subtle as he brushes a hand up your back to the nape of your neck, gently grazing his fingernails against the skin there. He has to suppress a self-satisfied smirk when he feels you squirm under his touch, lifting your head to fix him with a scolding look. Your stern expression fades as soon as his eyes fall on your lips, however, and you quickly mirror his gaze. His lips part, and he feels his whole body shake as he takes a deep breath in. Who knew that you’d share your first kiss on a random Sunday morning in the fuckass middle of nowhere in Scotland?

Maybe you take pity on him, or you recognise the effort put into being the one to make the first move, or, as he’d like to think, you just really want to kiss him - either way, you’re the one who closes the gap and presses your lips to his.

Your lips. So soft, so delicate against his, absolutely perfect. It’s a simple, tentative touch, but he’s craved it for so long that it makes his head spin. He frowns, despite himself instantly needing more than this feather-like feeling of your lips brushing against each other. His mind tells him to calm down and take it slow, but his body takes over, urging him to grab the nape of your neck a little harder, to hold you a little closer to him, to kiss you a little stronger. Thankfully, you let him do all of this and more, hands finding purchase in his hair and returning his intensity tenfold. 

He doesn’t know what’s better - the fact that you’re kissing him or the kiss itself. The way your lips move against his is intoxicating; it wraps itself around its mind and leaves no room for thoughts that aren’t of you. You seem to want him as desperately as he wants you, to have waited for him as long as he did for you, and this is what drives him crazy. You press your body against his and he sees stars; you let out a moan against his lips and he kisses you deeper, ready to do anything to hear that melody again. 

Unfortunately, the only melody he gets to hear is that of his phone alarm, informing you that it’s quarter to eleven and that you have fifteen minutes to leave. Check-out at eleven am had sounded nice yesterday; now, he would stay in this dingy inn his whole life if it meant he got to keep kissing you. 

The both of you reluctantly break apart, bursting into giddy laughter when your eyes meet. As said before, Jake always thinks you’re pretty, but with your pupils blown and your lips plump from kissing, this might just be the prettiest he’s ever seen you. 

“You know, I like you a lot, but I’d like you even more if you could stop time,” you say.

He looks down at you with a smile, pushing away the strands of hair that had fallen on your face. “Sure, I’ll learn how to control time for you.”

“Thanks, Jakey.” You peck his lips, lingering, and he closes his eyes to savour your sweetness. 

“Anything for you, baby.” His eyes widen at the nickname slip, but you erupt into giggles.

“Baby?”

“Would you look at the time, we really got to go,” he says, detangling his limbs from yours. He pauses for a second. “Baby,” he repeats, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead before bouncing from the bed.

You get ready together, and the mundane tasks of stripping sheets from a bed and packing bags become the funnest things he’s ever done. You’re all over each other, attacking the other with kisses and hugs; Jake doesn’t think he’s ever felt quite this happy. 

And this is only the beginning.

--

There’s a glint in the receptionist’s eyes when you check out of your room, as if she knew something you and Jake had been oblivious to all along. It’s the only one in town, so you go back to the little pub for a full breakfast with eggs, hash browns, haggis, and sausages. You get coffee so strong you think you might not sleep for the next four days, while Jake drinks tea that is equal parts sugar, milk, and actual tea.

From the moment you leave the pub to the moment you arrive at your doorstep, Jake’s hands barely leave yours. When they have to, like when you’re searching for the perfect seat on the train or when the controller checks your tickets, they’re back together within a minute, like two magnets that can’t stay apart for too long. The rain has long subsided, leaving place to a bright blue sky and wet blades of grass that shine in the sun. 

Now that your mutual feelings don’t need to be kept secret, you tell each other about everything you had to go through, like you pretending your good news was your mum having baked the cookies Jake liked and him seeing your new boyfriends every two months on your close friends story. He tells you about all the hints he’s dropped, causing you to facepalm over and over again. It feels like two friends catching each other to speed on all the latest gossip, except the topic of that gossip is you.

The juxtaposition of your familiarity with Jake with the novelty of behaving like a couple, of not having to hold back with your touches or gazes or words, is nothing if not jarring. But you have a feeling you’ll get used to it in no time. 

As you unlock the front door to your building, you don’t ask him if he’s coming up - to you, it’s a given that you’ll be spending the rest of today and every day after that together. So when he doesn’t follow you, staying still on the threshold, you turn around with a questioning look on your face. 

“There’s something I need to do this afternoon,” he says, taking both of your hands in his.

“Can’t I come with?” you say. Jake wavers for a second, but sadly, he stays firm in his decision.

“Sorry, baby, it’s a surprise. I’ll be back at seven with takeout?”

You can’t possibly be mad at him when he calls you baby and offers food in the same breath. “Only if you bring takeout.”

“You only love me because I feed you, don’t you?” he asks, a smile on his face.

“Yup,” you reply. You’re standing on a step, so you bend down to kiss him - you intend for it to be a peck, but when your lips touch, you’re unable to pull away. You let yourself get lost in the feeling of his lips on yours, in the warmth that takes over your body and makes your brain all fuzzy. 

A loud, affronted gasp from behind you makes you jump from Jake, and when you turn around, Chaewon and Yunjin are standing in the stairwell, staring at you with wide eyes and gaping mouths. 

“So this was a sexcapade?” is, much to your horror, the first thing Yunjin says.

Thanks to Chaewon, neither you nor Jake have the time to dwell on this sentence as she comes running down the stairs and pounces on you. You don’t know how a woman so small can have such force, but her hug is so tight you can barely breathe, let alone hug her back properly. “I knew you could do it!” she exclaims. When she pulls away, she seems so moved, it looks like she’s about to cry. “You finally popped your Jake cherry,” she whispers, but it’s loud enough for Jake to hear. A bark of laughter escapes his throat.

“Okay, thanks, guys,” you say, escaping this awkward situation and going up the stairs. “I’ll see you later, Jake!” you yell over your shoulder. The girls seem to be on their way out, and you’re more than happy leaving him to deal with them on his own. God knows you’ll get the worst of it when they come back. 

As soon as you get to your flat, you make a beeline for your bedroom, plopping on the bed. You’re the same person, and this is the same room. But something within you feels entirely different, like a scar that you had been carrying around had, without you even noticing, healed so well you could barely see it anymore. You lifted your hands in the air, looked at the back of them, then at your palms. They were the same old hands that had been with you your whole life, and you were almost shocked that there wasn’t something utterly different about them after having held Jake’s hand for so long. Just to be sure, you sniffed your right hand, but it didn’t smell any different, either. But you still felt Jake’s hand on yours, like headphones you’d been wearing for hours and still felt on your ears after taking them off.

Yunjin and Chaewon are back from their shopping half-an-hour later; they got you a chocolate fudge cake from Tesco to congratulate you. “You guys are acting like this is my birthday…” you say, eyeing the cake greedily as Chaewon cuts it into three equal parts (even though it says serves eight on the packaging). 

“This is more important than your birthday, Y/N,” Yunjin states as she pours oat milk into three cups of Earl Grey tea. “This is, like, the moment of a lifetime.”

“Are you saying a girl’s importance depends on her having a boyfriend?”

“Yes, Y/N, that’s exactly what I’m saying. Especially when said boyfriend is the guy she’s been pining after for all of her teenage and adult life.”

You sigh. “Well, he hasn’t exactly popped the boyfriend and girlfriend question yet.” They both turn to look at you, an annoyed look on their faces. You stand up straight, uncomfortable under their gazes. “What?”

“Usually, I’m all for clarity on this issue,” Chaewon starts. “But isn’t it pretty obvious here?”

“You’re still gonna have to tell us everything in minute detail, but Jake’s already told us what happened. He had no qualms referring to you as his girlfriend, so I really don’t think this is something you need to worry about. What you should worry about is when and where you’re going to hop on that dick.”

Chaewon bursts into laughter, and you can’t help but follow suit. “Gosh, Yunjin, you really do have a way with words.”

“I know. This is what having a Jane Austen hyperfixation at fifteen will do to you.”

Following Yunjin’s orders, you tell them about the events of the previous day and this morning over tea and cake. They ooh and ah and gasp in all the right places, ask you very specific questions and even make you draw a picture of the room you stayed in. You’ve talked to them about Jake so many times that there’s only so much to say now - but still, you talk for hours on end, deviating off-topic so often you end up talking about something else entirely. 

You’re in bed reading for your Middle English Literature class when the doorbell rings. It’s seven on the dot, so it can be no one else other than Jake. It’s been mere hours, but you’ve missed him enough to last you for weeks. 

He brought takeaway from the Indian place you’d raved about a hundred times but hadn’t brought him to yet. Somehow, your heart grows even fonder as you watch his reaction to the food, the raise of his eyebrows, the widening of his eyes, the excited shimmy of his shoulders. When you ask him about his afternoon, a wide smile breaks out onto his face, like a lightbulb illuminating a room. Without a word, he scurries to your room, bringing back some sort of book with him. He hands it to you  with a shy smile and curious eyes, eagerly anticipating your reaction. The cover reads Y/N and Jake in his clumsy but endearing handwriting, with the date of his arrival in Edinburgh and an em-dash scribbled underneath. “I haven’t booked my flight home yet, so I’ll add the second date later,” he explains. 

When you flick through it, you’re met with photographs of you and Jake on all of the trips you’ve done so far, as well as the various adventures you got up to in the city. There’s even one of you sleeping in the library at two am during midterms when you had forgotten about one of your essays, due at midday. Jake had come with coffee and words of encouragement, and now he could brag that the high mark you got was thanks to him. It’s not only photos - it’s also ticket stubs, receipts, stickers, and even a dried flower you had found pretty on your trip to St. Andrews. He’s also written quite a lot, from diary-like entries about what you got up to that day or songs that reminded him of you. 

“You misspelt right here,” you say, pointing to a sentence that reads This is the café write next to the hotel where the last Harry Potter book is said to have been written!!! under a photo of you drinking a massive cup of hot chocolate. The more you look at the typo, the more it makes you laugh, until you have tears brimming in your eyes.

Thanks to Yunjin’s messiness, pens and pencils are strewn over your coffee table. Jake, flushed red in embarrassment at the small mistake, snatches a pencil and aggressively erases write, spelling it correctly the second time around. “This is the level of today’s English Lit undergrads,” he murmurs under his breath. His frown disappears when he looks at you and he laughs along.

You continue looking through the album until you land on a page titled Why I love Y/N. From top to bottom, left to right, it’s filled with Jake’s tiny handwriting. You can tell he put effort into making it neat. There’s a singular photograph of you, one that dates from the first days after Jake’s arrival when you were walking around in the Meadows, the park right next to campus. The sun shone down on you and you smiled brightly at Jake behind the camera.  

You’re not a quarter through reading when tears swell in your eyes, rendering your vision blurry. You wipe them away before they can fall and stain the page. Jake has detailed every last thing he loves about you. It can hardly get cornier than this, but the fact that he wrote this about you makes your heart so full, you’re afraid it might explode in your chest. It ranges from basic things like the way she makes me laugh or her pretty face when she falls asleep in the train (or anywhere, for that matter) to more you-specific things like the strict pastel colour-coding she uses for her notes and her perseverance when eating spicy food even though she can’t take it. He mentions things about you that you didn’t even know, and that feeling of being known in-and-out, of being really seen by someone else only brings more tears to your eyes. Your favourite line comes at the end - the way she makes any place feel like home. A proper sob pushes past your lips at this, and Jake, who had been watching you with an anxious smile, rests a palm on your knee and inches closer to you.

“Why are you crying, is- Did I write something bad?”

You shake your head fervently. “No, no, Jakey, this is… It’s perfect. I’m just…” you trail, letting out a half-sob, half-chuckle. You look at him with a smile before pulling him into a tight hug. “I love it so much. I love you so much.”

You can feel Jake relax against you. “I love you too, baby. I’m glad you like it.”

You pull away after a small while, and turn the next page over. It’s a picture of you over breakfast this morning, with words WE’RE DATING!!!! written underneath it, and those simple words make you so happy, your cheeks ache from smiling. But every page after that is empty. Jake scratches the back of his neck. “I, um, I thought we could fill the rest out together. I debated just doing it myself and giving it to you at the end of the year, but I thought it’d be more fun doing it together.”

“It would. This is such an amazing idea,” you say, flicking back through the pages.

“I thought of it because of that project I had. When I started working on it, all the photos I wanted to include were of you, but I wasn’t sure how much my professor would appreciate that… So I decided to make one more personal. One for us,” he says shyly, shrugging like it’s no big deal.

“Thank you so much, Jakey.”

He smiles. “It’s no worries.”

“Did you do it all this afternoon?”

“I had started it before, but I added it most of today, yeah. Which, by the way, awful timing. I wanted nothing more than to spend today with you.”

Your heart leaps. You’re not sure you’ll ever get used to hearing such words from Jake’s mouth.

Sometime later, you’re laying in bed with Jake between your legs, watching the most recent animated Spiderman movie. With the tips of your fingers, you draw random patterns on his forearm, and if it wasn’t for his occasional chuckles, you’d think he had fallen asleep. You chat for a bit after the movie, but you find that after such an emotionally-packed day, you’re ready to call it a night fairly early. But when the lights are off and it’s just you lying against Jake’s chest, his fingernails grazing your scalp and his familiar, comforting scent clouding your judgement, all thoughts of an early night are thrown out of the window.

You shouldn’t feel so nervous - you had fallen asleep in his arms last night, and it had gone well. Really well. 

“This is different from yesterday, isn’t it?” Jake suddenly says, breaking the heavy silence with a low voice. It’s like he read your mind.

“Yeah,” you whisper against his skin.

No other words are needed. You brush the tip of your nose along his neck until you reach his jawline, pressing soft kisses there and delighting in the increasing shakiness of his breath. The feeling of your lips meeting is so intense, so all-encompassing, that you don’t know if you’ll be able to handle anything more.

This is still new territory, but you’re both so eager to discover it that it makes for a messy kiss, lips moving against each other ravenously, tongues beckoning moans from the other. It’s a kiss that somehow leaves you breathless and breathes oxygen back into your lungs at once. 

In a matter of seconds, Jake has flipped you on your back and is hovering over you, one hand holding him up and one hand free to roam your body. He slips it underneath your t-shirt, brushes it along the side of your waist, his touch leaving behind a trail of fire blazing on your skin. It’s so distracting, you can’t even kiss him back properly anymore. Jake doesn’t seem to mind. At first, when he starts pressing hot kisses to your jawline and your neck, you think he’s giving you a respite - but when he gently sinks his teeth into the skin there, leaving marks that will later remind you tonight wasn’t a dream, chuckling as you squirm and whine under him, you understand that this is anything but a respite. 

You curse your earlier decision of not wearing a bra, because it gives you no preparation whatsoever to the sensation of Jake brushing his thumb against one of your nipples. With a loud gasp, your back arches off of the bed, which only aids Jake in raising your t-shirt up over your breasts. 

He takes a minute to admire the sight of you panting and half-naked underneath him. It makes you feel shy, and you want to do something so that he stops looking and starts doing, but his gaze holds you in place. His pupils are blown with lust, eyes raking over your body and taking everything in. You have a hard time wrapping your head around the fact that it’s you he’s looking at with those eyes. 

His soft lips attach themselves to your nipple while his fingers continue their work on the other one. You’ve never felt this sensitive, never felt this on edge, like you might fall apart at any second even with so little simulation. Your core throbs, impatiently waiting to be tended to, but you’re already trembling so hard from Jake’s attention to your breasts that you don’t know what will happen to you once he actually touches you down there.

“You doing okay, baby?” he asks, the rasp in his voice making you want him impossibly more. You grip his hair and he looks up at you, a tender smile on his lips. You nod your head yes and he laughs. “Yeah? You want more?” You pause at his question. You do want more, but is it worth your sanity?

It takes you a second to decide that it’s worth that and more. You nod again. 

Jake seems to have sensed your hesitation. He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. “You sure you’re okay?”

“I am. It’s just a lot.”

His expression of worry softens into a smile. “I’ll take it slow for you, love. It’s a lot for me, too.” He leans in to press soft kisses to your cheek, and some of the tension in your body diffuses. Whatever happens, Jake will be there to take care of you. “But it feels good, right?” he asks, lips moving against your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

“So good, Jakey,” you reply shakily.

“Good.”

You can tell that Jake really does want to take it slow - his movements are more deliberate, gentler. But eagerness, both yours and his, soon takes over, and a minute later, he’s trailing kisses down your body until he reaches your lower stomach. Your breath quickens as he hooks fingers underneath your leggings and underwear, sliding both garments down your legs and leaving you bare to him. You think the feeling of his lips on the fleshy parts of your inner thighs is what might actually do you in, make you lose your sense of reality forever - but then his tongue darts out against your clit, a barely-there touch, and your whole body flatlines. 

Your reaction eggs Jake on, who, more confident now, takes the sensitive bud in his lips and alternates between sucking and licking motions. A knot ties itself embarrassingly quickly in your stomach, a knot that tightens and tightens as Jake flattens his tongue against you, licking up your juices from your entrance to your clit; a knot that threatens to come loose when he slides a long finger inside of you. You can’t take more than thirty seconds of this.

“Jakey,” you say, voice practically a moan. Your brain is fuzzy and it takes a distressing amount of time to form a simple sentence. “Can you come here?”

“Is something wrong, baby?” he asks breathily, sliding his finger out of you and coming back up so that his face is right above yours. 

“No, just… I want you.”

Any trace of worry on Jake’s features dissipates as he cocks an eyebrow, one corner of his lips tugging up into a smirk. “Is that so?”

This kind of boldness would usually have you rolling your eyes, but here, it only makes your core throb more violently. It’s almost humiliating how much you want this man. It’s definitely humiliating, how easy it is to swallow your pride and play into his game. “Yes, please,” you say, eyes pleading with him.

He smiles almost giddily before burying his face against the side of yours. “My baby’s so polite,” he says, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “I’ll give you whatever you want.”

“Take this off, then,” you say, grabbing the bottom hem of his t-shirt. 

“So she says please and gives orders,” he jokes, quickly obliging anyway. 

Not once in your time apart had Jake posted any sort of beach trip or pool photos, so this was the first time you saw his bare chest. God, was it one for the history books. You trace the defined lines of his muscles with a finger and wonder how he had managed to get even more perfect. He lets you marvel at him for it, clearly proud that you’re gawking so shamelessly, but your mind drifts back to more urgent matters when he presses himself into you, his clothed cock, hard and hot, brushing against your folds. “Fuck,” you sigh, bucking your hips into his to feel him over and over again.

It’s so much, but it’s not enough; Jake instantly gets your message when you hook your fingers under the waistband of his boxers, pulling him to you and kissing him feverishly. Your lips don’t part as he slides his boxers off, and you drink up the nectar that are his moans as you take him in your hand, pumping him a few times.

“Condom?” he asks, but you shake your head.

“I’m on the pill. And even so… I usually always use a condom, but I don’t want to now. Not with you.”

Jake closes his eyes as he takes a deep, stabilising breath. “I feel totally normal about that. Not crazy at all.”

You giggle, and he opens his eyes, a wide smile gracing his lips before he bends down to kiss you. “You ready for the night of your life?” he asks against your lips. “It’s gonna last five minutes, tops,” he says, making you laugh again. “I’m sorry, baby, I can’t do anything about it. I think I could’ve cum just from eating you out.”

“That would’ve been hot.”

“Really? We’ll make it a challenge for next time, then.”

When Jake plunges into you, it’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. He fills you up, slow inch by slow inch, until he’s buried to the hilt inside you. You both need some time getting used to the feeling - Jake drops his head in the crook of your neck and lets out a sound between a grunt and a moan, something you’ve never heard from him before. You grab onto his shoulders, fingernails digging into his skin as you try to tether yourself to him. You hold him so tight that he has no choice but to let his body rest on top of yours, his arms coming to circle your waist and bring you even closer. 

His movements start out halting, the pleasure so overwhelming that it makes it hard for him to move steadily. In time, he falls into a torturously slow rhythm, but it’s the perfect kind of torture, the kind that has tears brimming in your eyes. It’s so hard to take, and yet you want more. You’re brought closer to the edge with every thrust of his dick into you, especially as he picks up the pace and lifts your hips to meet his. The new angle has his tip brushing against that spot deep inside you that makes it hard to breathe. 

You can tell he’s just as close as you when he loses that steady rhythm he had found, his motions growing more desperate, harsher, quicker. Conscious of your roommates, you slap a hand over your mouth to muffle your moans as your orgasm washes over you, your whole body on fire, so sensitive that the few more seconds Jake needs to come undone himself drive both your body and your mind into overstimulation. Even the feeling of him pulling out, drops of hot liquid dripping out of your entrance, is too much and makes you let out a small, tired whine. 

Jake peppers your face with kisses as he holds your waist tightly, brushing his thumb back-and-forth on your warm skin, sticky with sweat. “You did so well, baby. So good for me.” You think you might be ready for a second round if he keeps talking to you like that. “I love you so much.”

You sigh deeply, as if you were just told disconcerting news. “Okay.”

“Okay?!” he echoes, looking up at you with an outraged expression on his face.

“I’m sorry, I love you too, I just- I’m not used to this yet! You can’t just tell me you love and expect me to be normal. You have to warn me first.”

“Can I just warn you now that I’m going to tell you I love you every time I get the chance?”

You sigh. “I guess.” 

“Can I tell you now?” he asks, and you hum. “I love you.”

“I love you more.”

Jake tuts. “I highly doubt it, but whatever makes you happy.”

You hold Jake close to you, one arm around his shoulders and the other hand playing with his hair as you come down from your high. You think he might’ve fallen asleep, and you’re close to drifting off yourself when he speaks. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this. Not just the sex, although that has been on my mind for a while now,” he says, making you laugh, “but all of this. Being together, getting to be in your arms like this, kissing you whenever I want. Calling you my girlfriend.”

“Me too, Jakey. I waited so long I didn’t think it would ever happen.”

Jake chuckles. “How stupid were we not to have noticed we felt the same way?”

“Very stupid. I think we felt so sorry for ourselves that we were stuck in one-sided love, that we didn’t even realise the other was going through the exact same thing. But at least we’re now.”

“At least we’re here now.” You and Jake yawn at the exact same time, making you burst into giggles, giddy with sleep and love.

“Let’s sleep, baby,” you say.

Jake hums, burying himself deeper against your body. “Sleep well, my love. I’ll be here.”

--

After years of pining after each other, you and Jake find it a bit hard to keep your relationship to yourselves, or your hands off of each other.

At the beginning, all of your friends had been happy for you, but that quickly went away when your and Jake’s honeymoon phase never died down and the PDA just kept on going. If the glue you were stuck with previously was metaphorical, this one was pretty close to being real. Superglue kept you together, your moments together rarely spent without some sort of physical touch. Yunjin fake-gagged so often, you were afraid she might actually vomit one of these days. It took Sunghoon two weeks longer than everyone else to clock you and Jake had started dating.

This meant that in private, there was truly no holding back. Jake back-hugged you any chance he got, to the point you started to think he was more koala than human - although that’d imply he saw you as a tree. Make-out sessions were a particular favourite of yours - how could they not be when your boyfriend’s lips seemed to have been carved by God himself, soft and plump to the heavens, like they were made to be kissed. Really, you were just honouring God’s will when you kissed Jake.  

The goodbye that comes at the end of the year is not an easy one, and the month spent at home before you fly to Korea seems to never end. But you get there eventually, and as nice as it is to catch up with Jake’s parents after so long, you feign sleepiness after lunch as an excuse to get some time alone with your boyfriend. Ironically, this “time alone” is spent so intensely that you do end up falling asleep afterwards. 

You have to admit, you really did a number on your boyfriend this time - what can a girl do when she missed her boyfriend this much? Jake is still passed out when you wake up from your nap, so you slip out as discreetly as you can from his embrace and get out of bed. You head for the closet first and swipe the comfiest looking sweater of his that you find there so you can stay warm as you look around his room. A pang of melancholia hits your chest - most of the pictures and objects on his walls and shelves are parts of his life you weren’t around to witness. Friends you don’t recognize, places you’ve never heard of, phases you’d never known he’d gone through. But then you see the frame on his desk, a faded photo of the two of you at ten years of age, eating ice cream on the bench outside of your house. Milo is sitting at your feet. Jake’s family hadn’t adopted Layla yet. You realise that even if there’s whole parts of your life you didn’t get to share with each other, nothing could touch your memories, or your future.

You want to go back in time and tell fourteen-year-old you that no matter how painful it might seem at the moment, it will all be worth it for the sight of Jake Sim slowly drifting into wakefulness, patting the bed next to him, and noticing you’re missing with furrowed eyebrows. When he opens his eyes and they settle on you, a sleepy smile will grace his dazzling features, and he’ll say, “Come back to bed.”

You’ll be even more in love at twenty than at fourteen.

permanent taglist: @zreamy @sunghoonmybeloved @lalalalawon @sd211 @w3bqrl @raikea10 @wntrnghts @moonlighthoon @4imhry @rikisly @loves0ft @iamliacamila @theboingsuckerasseater9000 @chaechae-23 @baekhyuns-lipchain @hyuckslvr @vernonburger @amorbonbon @fluerz (ask to be removed/added!)

© asahicore on Tumblr, 2023. please do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works. support your creators by reblogging and leaving feedback!

[typing-catastrophe]

Charles Xavier - only one bed (headcanons)

request: "gmorning! with deadpool 3 bringing around the xmen renaissance ive found myself once again totally obsessed w james mcavoy and was wondering if i could req an only one bed charles xavier x reader piece please ! i feel like theres just so much to be done w that trope, the mutual pining, the fluster, the rushed confessions, and ive somehow never seen anymore pair it w charles yet ?? i trust your vision completely, thank you so much and have a lovely day!"

a/n: thank you so much for your request anon ^^ I am also working on a longer piece (actual oneshot, no bulletpoints), so stay tuned for that and in the mean time have this :P hope you like it

💕 fluff

oohhh the temptation

charles trying so hard not to give in and read your mind

he is just so goddamn curious as to know what you're thinking about your current situation

because he can feel you laying next to him all tensed up and it makes him nervous

you're both idiots in love with the other, have been for a while, and both to scared to make the first move

you're convinced he isn't interested in you at all, and are too scared to ruin the friendship to say anything

and he is convinced he would drive away the only friend he made asides from raven and would end up feeling much lonelier than before

he technically is confident enough but at the same time doesn't want to risk anything going wrong or making it awkward between the two of you

when it gets too much for him, he strikes up a conversation which would end up in you two laughing and finally being comfortable in each others space again

when you tell him that you're having a hard time falling asleep at new places, he would offer to tell you about his research, because it helps raven fall asleep

when you both eventually fall asleep, he unconsciously shifts over and holds you close

you stir awake from the movement next to you, already dozing off again when you feel an arm sneak over your stomach and an explosion of butterflies when charles pulls you close

(that man needs someone to cuddle at night and you can't convince me otherwise. he's a cuddler.)

now wide awake and heartbeat going faster by the second, you franticly try to think of what to do next

when you try to scoot away, you're not only met with resistance but with him pulling you back and nuzzling his nose into your neck and hair

you lay there in defeat for a few minutes, enough time for your heartbeat to settle again. then you decide to turn around in his arms

you use the opportunity to look at him his beautiful facial features, all relaxed and peaceful. you'd never allow yourself to stare at him like this, in fear of getting caught

when he started to wake up and blinking a few times, you know you should look away, but you're so captured by him that you can't bring yourself to do so

so you're laying face to face with him, only inches apart, holding your breath

"hey... can't sleep?" he asks with a soft tone and smile

you shake your head the tiniest bit and a stray lock of hair falls into your face

he reaches out to tuck it behind your ear and lets his hand linger

even without using his powers he is almost sure to know what you think in that moment

so he leans in closer and asks "may I?"

you whisper a breathless "please" and before you know it, he presses the softest kiss to your lips

you almost whine when he leans back again

"you look so beautiful, darling" and "forgive me, we should've done this a lot sooner"

you couldn't agree more

sleepy, soft kisses turn into more intense ones turn into makeout session

so much suppressed feelings resurfacing, you can't get enough of each other

when your shirt hitches up and his hand grazes your bare skin, you let out a small noise of surprise and jump a little at the sudden contact

charles moves his hand away, not wanting to make you uncomfortable or do something you're not ready for, when you reach down and put his hand back, reassuring that it is okay for you

he doesn't mind at all if you don't want to go any further, he can't believe his luck of you reciprocating his feelings at all in the first place

if you do want to go further, that man will give you the best and softest, most loving time of your life

given that that would be your first time together, you would keep it simple and stick to getting to know each other and each others likes

first and foremost he would concentrate on making you feel good

[the-s1lly-corner]

HAZBIN FLUFF ALPHABET

Bestie @schrodinger-swriter has convinced me to dip my toes back into the fluff alphabet and bust out my rendition of the list! Definitely recommend looking at their stuff too, they've been busting out bangers all week

To spice things up since this is the same list I used for my creepypasta fluff alphabet, theres 27 prompts! Added symbol for a brand new prompt! ♡

More under the cut!

Doing this alongside the tropes list!

ETA: your request may be posted a few days after you send it, I've been attempting to limit myself to prevent burnout + I'm on mobile but I promise I do see it!

Not doing Valentino, I think that's the only character I wont do no if ands or buts so dont bother

To keep things simple and clean on my end, please keep it one character per ask! Max number of letters per post is 3! Still stuck on mobile unfortunately <\3

Attraction- What they look for in a partner! Physically and/or emotionally!

Bond- How they spend their time with you?

Cuddling- What's cuddling with them like?

Dates- What are their go to dates?

Emotion- How much emotion do they show? Are they reserved or are they an open book?

Family- Do they want children? How many?

Gift Giving- How often do they give gifts? What is it, usually? Do they like receiving gifts?

Harsh- How often do you two get into conflicts and arguments? Who tries to patch things up first?

Injury- What are they like when you get injured, and vise versa?

Jealousy- How well do they handle it, if they get jealous?

Kiss- What is their favorite place to kiss you and be kissed?

Love language- How do they show they care, and how do they want to be cared for?

Marriage- Is that something they want in the relationship?

No!- What is a deal breaker for them?

Oddity- What are some noticable behaviors and quirks of theirs?

Pet names- What do they call you and what do they want to be called?

Question- A common question in the relationship!

Risk- How far are they willing to go for you?

Shh- How secretive are they?

Tunes- Music that you two listen to together and/or associate with the relationship!

Upset- One of you is upset! How will the other cheer them up?

Valentine's- How are they like on the holiday?

Warrior- How do they feel about you fighting alongside them/fighting their battles

Xray- How well can they read you?

Yearn- How do they cope with separation?

Zzz- What's it like sharing a bed with them?

Bonus vv

♡- How do they feel about public displays of affection? Do they show you off or keep you to themselves?

[iid-smile]

#08 ୨ৎ ⸝⸝ @meidiary ⋆

i think im in luv with u... 😪 mei is a 10/10 guys!! certified cutie ☺️ idk who i was expecting you to pick, but inumaki 😆😆 one of my favs fr! and i was so excited to do 23 for some reason... you're the first one to request it 👏 all of them are headcanons 🙂‍↕️ (tumblr keeps not saving what i put down its stressing me out!!!)

#18 🍓 | protecting you

im sorry, but inumaki can be such a scaredy cat sometimes...

he'd be afraid, but still step up and get in between you and whatever is the threat

doesn't consider his own safety and wellbeing in the process either... he always puts others first, and a little bit of throat pain is much better than you getting hurt

100% mans up against insects because you hate them

gets intimated when he's up against a muscular 6ft guy, but has a eureka moment and uses his cursed speech. easy win

theres also other things he'd protect you from too, like pulling you away from hot oil and flames if you're cooking together. he's got spidey senses (according to him)

the cold is also something he'd protect you from. always makes sure you have a warm coat, scarf, gloves, and everything. i think inumaki really likes earmuffs too, because then he can whisper about how much he loves you and you wouldn't hear a thing

#20 🍦 | love language

physical touch + quality time

a mixture of both

the two of you could lay around for hours, and he'd just listen to you talk as you both cuddle. when you're both into a particular show or series, snuggling in bed when you're both supposed to be sleeping hits different

if you're on public transport or aimlessly walking around, he'll hold your hand, but it's more like he's holding it from behind rather than actual handholding.

silence with him is always comfortable, and you completely tune out from the rest of the world whenever you're with him

gift giving

he gifts you snacks a lot. even better if he specifically gets ones with pink packaging

not the best with fashion but he tries for you. he would buy you a turtleneck just like his but a different colour and patterned

not the best with fashion, but he tries. at first, he'd literally buy you any clothes that are pink, and gets so confused when it's not your style. he gets it eventually, don't worry

matching shoes are a must! not the exact same shoe as you, but the same colour

pranks

not really a love language but aha

he loves it too much when he scares you with bugs, especially ones that fly. craneflies are the worst, because they're relatively easy to pick up and hold compared to flies or other flying creatures

he'll grab it by the leg and chase you around with it. sometimes he'll cup his hands together and pretend he has one because he finds it funny

he doesn't do anything with spiders because you're both scared of them

he actually would love it when you prank him back. scaring him from behind by shaking his shoulders is the best way to get him

#23 🍦 | your romance trope / dynamic

friends to lovers / mutual friends

he wouldn't date anybody he doesn't know well

since you're friends with a lot of people, there's no way he hasn't heard about you, and you happened to meet by chance

maybe coincidentally crossing paths and your extroverted self just had to say hello.

as soon as you both realise you have a mutual friend, the friendship blossoms and grows quick

the way he cares for you is so clear to everyone else except for you, but when somebody points it out, you can tell

sunshine x enthusiastic but silent enabler

inumaki is already a silly guy, and he just gets sillier

the conversations you have are always energetic, engaging and exciting, even with the language barrier, so he's pulling out ingredients that nobody's ever heard him say before. essentially, you're the only two that actually can understand

his energy immediately springs up whenever he gets to hang out with you. he can go from 0 to 100 in a split second, and that needs to be studied

he really doesn't mind how much you talk, since he likes to listen

#24 🍦 | when they're jealous

it's hard to see his face when his mouth and eyebrows are both covered, so you're only depending on the eyes. or if he tells you himself

if he wants to get out of a situation to feel more at ease, he'll tug on your sleeve or fingers

"🤬"

that's literally all he sends you over text or shows you on notes, and when you look over at him, it's really obvious that he's upset. (to you, at least)

will have a whole debate with you on why, how and what he's jealous about. small or big, it doesn't matter

when he gets the most jealous is if you're paying too much attention to something else in general

like, if you're sitting a bit too far to each other and you're on your phone, he'd pull you closer so you'd be right by his side, silently asking for you to talk to him a bit

event masterlist

[crazystargirl]

Heyy! I’m just wanted to request “There’s Only One Bed” trope with awkward!Ethan Landry x reader and it’s just pure fluff

please and ty !! 💜

i'm your boyfriend now?

pairing ♥︎ - ethan landry x fem!reader, awkward!ethan landry x reader

word count ♥︎ - 1.3k !

a/n ♥︎ - rahhhh i just finished the social media posts right as you requested this, i honestly love this trope sm (tbh i love it with smut i have no goddamn clue how to write smut) ty 💜 anon for requesting this :))

when sam had proposed the friend group go on a vacation together it was only assumed that you guys would be sharing rooms. Sam had put herself with danny, you with tara, chad with ethan, and mindy with anika. 

you see what you didnt know is that tara was going to beg you to switch rooms with chad. everyone knew chad and tara were dating even though they tried (very badly) to keep it a secret. 

"y/n/n please switch rooms with chad pleaseeee" tara pleaded, using puppy eyes on you

"tara puppy eyes don't work on me and if you really can't wait a night to see your boyfriend then fine" you said with a dramatic sigh

"yes! thank you y/n!!! i love you" tara said giving you a big hug

by the time you guys got to the hotel, it was night time so sam sent everyone off to their rooms. the minute tara saw sam go into her room, she pushed you out of the room. 

"ok go to chads room and tell him the coast is clear" 

"ok ok tara i can leave the room by myself" you say, grabbing your bag

as you walked to the boys room, you see chad coming out of the room. he stops and gives you a grin

"hey y/n thanks for swapping with me, it means a lot to us" chad says

"no problem, happy to help"

he gives you the room key card and practically runs to tara's room. you shake your head and head to his room.

when you open the door, you don't see ethan so you just put your suitcase on the table and start to grab your toiletries and pajamas.

just as you're about to finish, ethan comes out with only a towel around his waist. the only way you happened to see this is because he literally yelled "oh shit!" when he saw you

"oh my god im so sorry, im just gonna get my clothes and go back in" ethan said, stumbling over his words and blushing slightly

after he grabs his stuff, you turn back around to finish grabbing your pajamas. a minute or two later, he comes out

"uh sorry about that…you can go shower now"

"no it's ok, i dont think chad told you about his plan did he?"

"no he didn't, hence why i was shocked to see you"

you laugh quietly and go past him to get into the bathroom.

after your shower, you come out to see ethan laying on the bed, on his phone

"hey" he said looking at you as you came out

"hey…wait where's the other bed?" you say, calm expression immediately gone

"wait what? theres not another bed?" ethan says getting up and looking over at the entrance area as if a bed will magically appear

"dammit they didn't even include a sofa bed or even a sofa for that matter" you grumble

"ok how about we call them to see if we can gef a room change?" you say going over to the hotel phone

you stand there for a bit, phone pressed to your ear. ethan watches you as he waits for the front desk to pick up

"hello? hi um so i think there mightve been a mistake in the booking but theres only one bed and no sofa bed…is there any way we could get another room with two beds?"

"hi, im so sorry but we're all booked for tonight…and until next week, i apologize for the inconvenience" the person on the other line says

"oh ok uh no worries it's fine thank you for the help" you hang up

"fuckkkkk there's no other rooms until next week" you say flopping on the bed, face first

"oh uh well i guess we can uh share the bed?"

you sit up at the suggestion, eyes wide. ethan was shy and dorky, not the kind to suggest sharing a bed

"yeah ok i guess that's the best option" you say sitting on the bed

ethan gets up, plugging in his phone. he looks down at you

"do you want the lights on…?"

you shake your head and go and plug in your phone. the lights turn off, leaving both of you in the dark

you shift on your side, unable to get comfortable. you don't hear anything from ethan so you just assume he already fell asleep.

after what feels like an hour, you get up. it's clear you're not going to be able to fall asleep so you grab your headphones, putting on your favorite playlist as you settle back in the bed. 

you eventually fall asleep, turning off your headphones and putting them on the side before falling asleep.

when you wake up, you feel arms tucked around your waist. you look down in surprise, remembering that ethan, the shy kid you may or may not have a crush on, was pretty much cuddling with you right now. 

how you even got to this position remained a mystery to you but you immediately froze, feeling ethan shift, his breath tickling the back of your neck.

you lay there for an eternity before you feel ethan's breathing halt and hear him mutter "shit" and start to remove his arms

you turn around and face him, even in the dark you can see he's wide eyed and blushing

"hey…" you say looking at him

"im sorry about that…i didn't mean to do it, i really just didn't know what happened…" he rambles, not even realizing that you got closer to him

as much as you loved ethan's voice you were tired of hearing him rambling so you just smash lips on his

"oh um" he says before kissing you back

"that was nice" ethan says after you both pull back

you go back in for another kiss and it turns into a makeout session, ethan litters your neck with hickies and you're too happy to give a shit that someone will question it tomorrow

"do you wanna maybe cuddle some more?" you said looking at him, after a while

"i'd like that" he replies wrapping himself around with you

"i love you" he mutters into your hair

"i love you too e"

you guys fall asleep, waking up around 9 to hear frantic knocking on the door

"ughhh who the fuck is knocking" ethan groans holding you closer to him

"eth you gotta let go of me so i can see whos at the door" you say trying to untangle yourself from him

he groans but lets you go, and you get up to open the door

"etha- holy shit what happened last night?" chad said looking at the hickies ethan gave you

"doesn't matter what happened?" you say, still not letting chad in

"it's sam, she's doing room checks. mindy texted me and i got the fuck out of your room so fast because sam's coming to check oh shit i see her" chad says shoving himself in the room and closing the door

"hold up how is y/n/n supposed to hide her stuff?" ethan says from the bed

"no fucking clue" chad says as sam knocks

he goes over to open the door, shooing you to hide

"good morning sam!" chad says cheerfully

"not a good morning chad" ethan says still not fully awake

you snort and sam turns to your direction

"chad, ethan is y/n here? she wasn't with tara" she said coming in

"good morning y/n i thought you were rooming with tara hm? And babe what happened to your neck" 

"uh i was rooming with tara but i switched with chad to be closer with my…boyfriend" you said, feeling strange for saying boyfriend for the first time

"yeah and your boyfriend would like you to come back to bed" ethan grumbled, grabbing you by the waist back in the bed

"alright let's go chad, let the two love birds have some peace" sam says dragging chad out of the room

ethan pulls you closer and kisses you for a bit

"so i'm your boyfriend now?"

taglist ♥︎ - @xyzstar, @ourloveisgod23, @dizscreams, @kaesworldxx, @bhk1234uwu, @nonniesworld, @lanaslittletwinkie

lmk if you want to be added or removed from the taglist!

©crazystargirl || do NOT copy or repost without my permission 

[idcbabyialreadylostmymind]

I NEED Z-DAWG X READER SMUT !! She’s literally so hot and ik for a fact this woman has a degrading kink

OMG BABE YOU ARE SO MFING RIGHT and I was thinking the 'theres only one bed trope' cause why not 🤭🤭

Bunk mate

Pairing- Z-dawg x reader

Summary- Having to bunk with Z-dawg does not go as you planned.

Warnings- one bed trope, fingering, degrading, dirty talk, reader is called a slut (in a good way) lmk if I missed something

Her eyes were piercing through your skull, her being Z-dawg and for some reason she wouldn't stop looking at you. Before you were recom you two never had much of a friendship so what irked you was why was she staring? You couldn't lie to yourself Z-dawg was hot, and the way she looked at you made your skin burn and itch.

Pulled from your thoughts was Quadratic, "Seems like these assholes didn't know how many of us there is so seems like someones gotta bunk with someone else, and it ain't gonna be me." He said and then Z-dawg took her chance to get you alone. "Y/N can bunk with me!" She blurted out to your surprise now everyone's eyes were on you.

"Yeah sure I don't care." That was further from the truth you cared very, very much. "Then it's settled carry your stuff to your rooms." Quadratic said picking up his bag and walked down the narrow hall to his room. The rest did the same leaving you and Z-dawg, she put her hand on the small of your back. "Let's go." She said the feeling of her hand made your skin go hot. Blinking a few times you shake your head yes. Picking up your bag you followed her to your shared room.

Entering the room there was only one bed. Your eyes widened cheeks flushing to a shade of indigo. "Well looks like we'll have to share a bed." She said sitting her bag on her side of the bed. "Uh y-yeah." You responded to her. "I feel like crap I'm gonna go take a shower." She says you reply with a small nod as you begin to put your stuff up in one side of the dresser in the room. After she got back the air was silent and you couldn't take it anymore, "I'm gonna go shower." You say getting some sleeping clothes. "K." Was all she said as she put her stuff up.

All you could think about while you showered was how you and her were going to be sleeping in the same bed. Did she worry about it too or did she not care? Those were the questions that ran throughout your mind all the way until you were back in your room. She was already on her side of the bed you didn't know if she was asleep or not but you tried not to think about it. Slipping under the covers trying not to disturb her you begin to fall asleep.

It was well past eclipse now and you were tossing and turning, Z-dawg woke up and looked at you your face was twisted and then something fell from your lips, "Zdinarsk." You whine out her eyes widen you were having a wet dream, about her. She waited for a minute and then she felt shuffling under the blanket, picking it up you were clenching your thighs together a tight smirk plastered her face. And then your eyes shot open, she looks at you "Looks like you have good dreams." She says looking at you embarrassed face. "Z- Shit I'm sorry." You say covering your face. "Nothing to be sorry for, you know I could always help you." She said hand trailing to your trembling thigh.

"W-what." You stuttered at her sudden words. "I can help but only if you ask, use those words." She says humiliation is what you reeked of but your body wanted- no needed her. "Please touch me." You plea hips jerking the closer she got to your center. "You dirty girl." She says, her hands travel upward purposely missing your soaking wet core. "These shorts make you look like a slut." She chuckles as she rips them down and moves your panties to the side. Her fingers slides into your folds with ease, she rudded small but harsh circles around your throbbing clit, "shit Z- feels good." You say grinding your hips onto her hand.

"Yeah I just started guess sluts will take anything." Moaning from the degrading words she takes this time to thrust into your wanting hole. Yelling from the intrusion. She thrusted them in and out of you, thumb reaching for your clit flicking it every now and then. "You know I always thought about you like this," she said making you turn your flushed face to her. "On my fingers, it my tongue making you cum over and over again like the dirty girl you are." She said flipping you on your back as she fucked her fingers in and out of you at a much faster speed that shouldn't be possible but she made it happen. You grab onto her one of her tattooed arms and grip into them from all the pleasure on your body.

She curled her fingers slightly forward and smiled at your reaction, your hand that wasn't on her tugged at the sheet under you as you felt yourself get closer and closer to your orgasm. "I-i think about you too, that way." You moan out as she does a scissoring motion making you squirm. "I know you do." She teases as she connects her lips to your neck leaving dark spots on you neck and jawline. "Come on cum for me, cum." She demands and you did just that you walls tightened around her fingers as she fucks you through your orgasm, your body felt like it was on fire.

She licked her fingers as smirked at you, "Glad I choose you to bunk with."

[crabonfire]

hi! i recently saw your one bed trope post and was wondering if you ever did a part 2? love your writing and remember to drink water!!

One bed trope, Part 2.

The long awaited continuation!!! I'm sorry I almost forgot I even wrote it and it's my most popular prompt haha!!

characters: Heavy, Engineer, Medic.

warnings: none

note!! PLEASE READ DJDJFJFJF:

SO...I didn't realise until I finished heavy's but this is really long...like,,, super duper long. So sniper and spy will be the last part!! I'm so sorry but WOW I write long one shots. don't worry, it'll be released right after this one.

Oh and ps, Engineer's is a bit suggestive. no nsfw but sexual tension here n there 🤯🤯🤯🤯

♡Heavy♡

• "I will take the floor, Y/N sleep on the bed."

• THE SECOND HE SEES THERES ONLY ONE BED HE JUST...YEAH

• "Heavy no, its uncomfortable. Its been a long day, I'll take the floor."

"No. Heavy insist."

"Heavy."

"Y/N."

You two debated for a bit until you just told him your sharing.

"How? Heavy...is big."

"It'll fit, don't worry."

"...This is not good idea."

"Shut up man. Either we both suffer on the ground or have the bed together."

• after you both shower, Heavy spends some time to clean Sasha, while your already incredibly worn out from the day.

"I think I'm gonna sleep now, night heavy."

"goodnight Y/N, sweet dreams."

"Mhm, and if I find you asleep on the floor in the morning I'm going to break your jaw."

"Haha, very funny Y/N."

"I will."

"Ah...alright."

• you doze off quickly, Heavy finishes cleaning sasha and seeing he has nothing else to do he decides to sleep too.

• He's quite careful, making sure that he doesn't wake you. When he does lie, the bed tilts his way. His eyes widen a bit by the creak it creates as he would hate to wake you up, but is relieved to see your knocked out cold.

He studies your sleeping form for a bit, he's not weirded out by sleeping with another person. He's had to sleep with the mercs sometimes, and he used to sleep with his sisters when he was young, so this was nothing really.

But, why is it you make him so nervous? Especially in this situation? Your not even awake, but that makes it worse.

• He slowly slips into the covers that barely cover him, but right now he's more focused on you. When he does, the bed slightly tips to him and you shift closer to him, making him panic slightly. That panic fades away when you rest your head near his arm, forcing him to lay face flat to the ceiling.

His cheeks grow warm, so do his ears, and his entire face. Oh my god. Your resting on his shoulder. Oh my god. Oh my godddd.

You murmur something under your breath as you wrap your arms around his, making him tense up. "Mmmfh..." Your voice is muffled as you hold his arm. He melts, a weak smile appearing on his face as he holds the urge to freak out. Smiling contently, he soon falls to a slumber.

aw,,, anyways morning!!!

• You wake up and broooo...

Your confused by the immense warmth your feeling right now, when you open your eyes your eyes widen and your cheeks flush immediately. Heavy is holding you right now,, the heavy. The guy who carries around a machine gun everyday and kills people who even bat an eye to him, the guy who hunts BEARS.

But... You know him. He's a nice guy. Which makes it WORSE!!! HE'S... HE'S HOLDING YOU RIGHT NOW OH MY GKDDDNDNDJFJFJFJFJRJDJ! #(#((£_(

You don't know what to do. You... Uh... Um... Hm.

• "Oh my god-" you mumble, feeling embarrassed yet also feeling super lucky right now. your but bear man crush is holding you rn. bro.

He shifts, making you panic. Your eyes shut in instinct , and he seemed to have been woken up. You can't see right now but his eyes are WIIIDEEEEEEE he's wide awake rn haha

• "bozhe moi-" he grunts.

"... Y/N..?"

"...yea?"

"Oh-dear god I am quite sorry..." He let's you go and he sits up.

"It's okay! It was uh... Warm. It was nice."

it's quiet for a bit. He's obviously tense.

"...I liked it."

He flinches a bit, turning to you. "I am glad I didn't make you uncomfortable...i also liked it."

His cheeks are red. Oh?

Oh...

OH

He likes you like that...SCORE!!! WOOO!!! LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! HE LIKES YOU BACK WOOOOOOO!!!!

you crack up a smile, making him feel a bit flustered. He gets up and excuses himself to shower, while your having a mini celebration over the fact that THAT little tint of red on his face is an obvious hint that he likes you. Let's goooooo!!!!!!

♡Engie♡

• he knew there would be one bed. he's close with ms pauling and knows the details of any sudden changes. so he knew, and he took this as am opportunity to make a move on you.

• "Engie there's uh...one bed."

"What? Oh-darn'...really? no way..."

"Oh um...I'll sleep on the floor."

"No-no. I'll sleep on the floor."

"Engie that's ridiculous, you've worked your ass off today I am not letting you sleep on the floor."

"Don't cut yourself short sweet pea, you were a real sharpshooter today, you take the bed."

"...ugh! Let's just-share the bed."

"...ah, alright." SUCCESSSSSSSS

• he has a whole plan too. small talk until you both get tired, he acts all chill about it, casually gets close to you without making you uncomfortable, andddd when you scooch closer to him he'll be all suave.

if you think this is out of this is out of character, considering he's an engineer with 11 phds who cut off his own hand to replace it with a gunslinger, and is nice but makes TELEPORTERS...he's definitely a carefully calculated man, even in these situations.

• you two talk for a bit, rambling about the day and laughing over stupid encounters. the clock strikes midnight, and you both realise its time to rest.

But your quite nervous with him, feeling the heat to your cheeks as you sit next to him. "You okay sugar?" He asks, worry in his voice. "Y-Yeah! Sorry, just uh...um...yea." You sputter out. "Are you nervous?" He asks.

AHAHDHDHFH he really has to ask?? "That obvious huh?" You chuckle nervously, making him smile softly. "It's alright, I won't bite. I mean, unless you want me to."

• Your head turns to him, noticing the gaze he's had on you. Your face feels hot, and your at a loss on what to say. He laughs, "I'm just jokin' darl'." Your mouth opens but you can't seem to say anything. He just... Stares.

"Oh my god your a fuckin tease." You look away, laughing. Wow okay. He...hes flirting. Well now you know he likes you like that. "Oh but you like it don't you?"

That made you turn your attention back to him, brows furrowed. He places a hand on your chin, making you look up at him. If he couldn't see the blush on your face, the heat from it would certainly be obvious. "Don't you?"

Your knees are weak, your head is dizzy, you don't know how to react, you feel like your gonna explode. He waits for a moment, and he starts to laugh, taking his hand away from your chin and shaking his head.

"Nevermind, get some sleep." He gives you one last cocky smile, and then walks off to the bathroom. Your left there speechless, not having anything to say or even think about. What is there to think about?? You can't even process what just happened to you.

I mean it's nice to know that he obviously likes you back but wow...you were not expecting him to be so...forward.

You shake your thoughts away and dim the lights, slipping into your comfortable sheets and trying your best to just...think about it tomorrow.

wow. um. morning.

• goddamnit.

• of fucking course you're gonna wake up in his arms. right after he teases you relentlessly of fucking COURSE you're gonna wake up in his arms.

your wrapped tightly in his warm embrace, he's knocked the fuck out, snoring lightly. you sigh, trying to escape but he's so damn strong what the hell...

you recall the events that happened last night, and damn!! this bitch is a tease.

you frown but accept your fate, letting yourself fall back to sleep. this man sleeps like a fucking rock. not even a nuclear alarm will wake his ass up.

♡Medic♡

• honestly?? I think he'd be too tired to even like complain or do anything.

• "Oh-uh...medic there's one bed."

"Oh? I did not expect us having to share, but alright then!"

"O-Oh? Are you sure? I don't mind sleeping on the floor."

"Nonsense! Neither of us need to wake up with a sore back tomorrow, it's alright."

• he sets up his documents on a table near the TV, and spends the whole night writing and going over files on a previous experiment he did.

you just sorta do your own thing, making small talk here and there, though he's obviously more focused in his work. You leave him be, but after hours, he's still just on thay damn desk.

"Hey doc-sorry to bother but uh...you gonna sleep soon? It's pretty late."

"Hm? Oh! Yes yes of course, I had forgotten how fast time goes while I do my work. Thank you for reminding me, I'll sleep in a bit no need to worry."

"Ah..okay then. Goodnight medic."

He hums in reply, then going back to writing. You shrug it off, taking a sip of water and slipping right to sleep.

• An hour goes by, and finally he decides to rest. He closes his documents and dims the lights, walking over to the bed. As he sits, he's quite enamoured by your sleeping self. He smiles, you look so calm.

He knows he likes you. Your the only patient he's loves to take care of, no matter what disgusting or horrible thing it is, he absolutely will do anything in his power to help you. The way you check up on him when it's late at night, the way you help him clean up and record experiments having full trust in his ability to heal you, and the way you make his heart skip faster than normal.

Now that he's alone with you, he feels a bit nervous. It's really starting to kick in now that this is the first time he's gonna be sleeping with you. NOT IN A WEIRD WAY, but wow, it's finally kicking in that you're sleeping together.

He feels like a school girl, it's silly. But he can't help it, how did you manage to steal his heart? He's stolen many himself, but this feels so unreal. He snaps back to reality when he realises he needs to sleep, smiling, he slips into the covers and faces you. "Goodnight, Y/N." He mutters.

awwwwwwwwwww he's so silly!!! morning time everyone

• He wakes up pretty early, he doesn't need much sleep to operate in the morning. He's surprised by the warmth he feels on his face, but starts to smile when he realises that your holding him in your sleep.

that's so sweet, Y/N oh my god.

he melts into you, wrapping his arms tight around your figure. "Mmmh..medic..?" you mumble in response to the sudden gesture. "Yes?"

You look down, blink a bit, and take in the scene.

It's medic. He's smiling wearily, his arms are around you, and yours around him.

woah.

• "Oh-oh gosh-"

You scooch away from him and sit up, and so does he, putting his glasses on. "I am so so sorry... I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable-oh god." You sputter, chuckling nervously.

"It is alright! I enjoyed it."

"Oh...you did?"

"Yes. You were quite warm. I found it cute!"

No point in being shy now, he's quite an honest guy you know? You can feel your cheeks redden, chuckling even more at his blunt self.

"Wow uh...Well. I'm glad you did...It was nice actually."

• You both just kinda smile like two idiots, then in perfect timing, Ms Pauling knocks on the door to wake you guys up. You two get ready and for the rest of the day, the both of you are giggling and flirting like two dumb teenagers just falling in love. It's adorable.

And for the week where you two are together, it always ends up like this. You two holding each other when you wake up. You both like each other, it's obvious now. But just who will ask out the other first?

BOOM cliffhanger HAHAHAHAHHAAAAAA!!!!!!!! Cry.

Anyways part 3 with sniper and Spy tomorrow!!! IM SORRY LMAOOOO this was longer than I thought and my palms are sweaty from writing. Like...actually I really need to stop they are incredibly sweaty.

Hope you enjoyed! For any spelling errors I apologise, stay tuned for part three tomorrow!! It'll be the first thing I post :) reblogs are greatly appreciated ♡

[fallingforel]

heyy! i was wondering if you could do an alex turner fic with the one bed trope (sorry if it sounds weird but english is not my first language🥹). thank you so much if you do it!! <3

a/n. of course my lovely. I would love to do this. here it is and hope you like it. p.s. this would defo happen with 2013 slutty alex era and I hope you like it. and don't worry...I barely understand my own english sometimes and I'm a native english speaker I had this half written a few weeks back but have finally finished it now. half asleep so sorry if theres any errors. It's probably the longest oLove you all <3😂😂😂

CW: sexual tension, smut, MNDI

NOTHING I MENTION IN THIS IS HOW I PORTRAY ANY PERSON! PLEASE REMEMBER THEY ARE ONLY FICTIONAL, JUST LIKE ANY OTHER BOOK!

PROMPT: none

WORDS: 2,894

⋆｡°✩

⋆｡°✩

Alex and I have never seen eye to eye with each other. And that really sucked when we were in a band together. I had only ever agreed to it because they were really desperate for a female singer for their songs. I was Matt's sister but have always despised Alex, ever since he moved in next door to me. During the summers when we was younger he was always soaking me with a water gun when I was trying to catch up on some reading and sun bathing.

MAY 2002

"Y/n please come on we're desperate for a female singer, please come on. You know I wouldn't ask if I was so desperate. But you're the only girl I know that can sing well" Alex said

"Okay fine." I say which makes Matt and Alex whisper Yes to themselves and fistpump the air.

"But on one condition." I say making them hold their cheers

"What?"

"Only until you find a replacement. Because this is not what I want to do, I want a Uni. You must promise me you actively look."

"okay" They both say in Unison

MAY 2013

After the glorious upturns of the first album I was surprised, and also Matt and Alex begged me to stay. I reluctantly agreed but I decided that I could get used to the lifestyle after going on our first tour.

So here I was On our 4th tour and My opinions of Alex hadn't change Infact I think they have gotten worse, especially since the incline we've had. The fame getting to his head a little bit. Thinking he could get every girl he wants. It really angered me. He also thought he was better than me and that riled me up, especially when we were on stage and he took over the spotlight, cutting me off at any moment he could.

It was only when we got to sweden things took a turn for the worse.

"I'm staying with breanna, Jamies with Katie, and nicks with Kelly. so you two have got to share" Matt said when we arrived at the hotel.

"WHAT??" Alex and I said in unison

"what do you mean we've got to share? I am NOT sharing with him"

"yeah and I'm not sharing with her"

"EXCUSE YOU? IM A DELIGHT TO SHARE A ROOM WITH I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW" I said raising my voice a bit which had people turning their heads to look in our direction, usually I would've been a bit embarrassed but in that moment I was too riled up to care.

"YOU SAID IT FIRST!" Alex retorted which only started the anticipated tumultuous bickering between the two of us.

Which made Matt shout over us "ENOUGH!" which made us stop and turn out heads at him. "It's only for one night, Please can you just get over it. It only happened because we had our original room arrangement of Alex and I sharing and then You, jamie and Nick having your own rooms and Breanna surprised me. I'll make sure Ian books five rooms for the next stop and the stops after so it doesn't happen again okay?" he asks. raising his eyebrow at both of us, and holding up a keycard

"fine." we both say. I grab the card from his hand and get in the lift, alex following hot on my heels, grabbing his suitcase dragging it across the floor, to the lift. I press the button for the fifth floor. We're waiting in silence for what feels like a decade but in reality is only a minute. The lift dings and we both step out.

I look for room 542 which I finally reach after turning a million corridors. I put the keycard in the door and open the door to find my worst nightmare a double bed...one.

"Oh this has got to be the worst day in existence." Alex says from behind me. "At least we can agree on one thing." I say before I'm hearing the door shut so I look behind me to find no Alex so I open the door. Only to find an Alex shaped figure walking the way to the lift so I shout "where are you going" "To find another room" "You won't find one, the rooms are all booked incase you haven't forgotten we're hosting a concert tomorrow" but I am met with a middle finger and Alex walking away.

⋆｡°✩

A knock is heard on the door 10 minutes later, I open it to find Alex standing at it. "No rooms available then?" "Nope. I'm going to sleep on the tour bus. Anything is better than sharing a bed with you" "Okay fine whatever, you won't find it comfortable especially after sleeping in hotels for this tour. see you in thirty" I say my back faced to him returning on getting my pyjamas and my shower stuff out of my suitcase. I'm only met with "see you at soundcheck" and dragging of wheels on the floor and harsh slamming on the door.

⋆｡°✩

thirty minutes later I had managed to get in and out of the shower in my pyjamas. and I was just about to dry my hair when I was met with a knock on the door, and once again there stood Alex.

"Uncomfy?" I questioned. before walking away from the door.

"No actually, there were fans outside shouting for you."

"awwh is the little narcissist too afraid of his ego getting bruised" I said with a fake pout on my face and a fake mothers concern lacing my voice.

"Fuck this I'm gonna go see if any of the lads will let me bunk with them" "for fucks sake Alex leave them alone, they're all with their girlfriends for the first time in months they don't need you cockblocking them" I said but once again I'm met with the harsh slam of the door

⋆｡°✩

No more than 10 minutes later I am met with a knock on the door. I open it once again but laugh when I'm met with Alex wincing in pain from breanna holding his ear "please take him, he's not sleeping in our room" She says. "Bring him in." I say sighing

"I told you, the girls don't want you interrupting their time with their boyfriends. Now stop being such a baby and get changed for bed. It's not that bad sharing with me."

"I'll sleep on the floor thank you" Alex says tenaciously. stripping himself down to the boxers, Alex is a good looking guy that I will admit, but not near enough personality to have me on my knees risking them getting first degree burns from the carpet. He had my throat in my mouth, almost losing the words coming out of my mouth... key word, almost.

"No you fucking well won't come off it, you and I know that it is near enough impossible to have a good night's sleep on the floor, now get in the bed. I'll create a pillow barrier, if I'm really that scary sleeping with" I say while pulling the covers down for Alex to climb in

"No need. I'll just sleep on the edge so nothing happens" he says.

"fine suit yourself" I say sighing turning over the other way and moving right to the end of the bed so that there was a big enough gap between the two of us .

⋆｡°✩

We were in silence for at least half an hour before Alex broke it.

"Why do you hate me?" Alex turned and said Of course he chose now to air out our dirty laundry, right when I was just about to imagine being in Chris Evan's arms.

"I don't hate you, I just dislike you. Since the minute you moved next door." I say turning to face him

"Oh come off it, You can't hold a grudge for that long Y/n." he laughs, that sound that only ever came out of Alex once in a blue moon, the kind of laugh that has you quaking in your boots like one of the fangirls of Elvis many years ago.

FUCK, I really have fallen for him. Maybe whatever I was feeling wasn't distaste, but in actual reality, Like.

I didn't have to tell him, one thing about me was I could keep a good facade up for a long long time.

"Oh, I can and I will" I say lying through my teeth.

"No seriously, there's something else what is it?" he says raising an eyebrow.

"I...Uh..." I said my cloudy brain betraying me, I knew there was a reason. I just couldn't think of it. Not right now, not when Alex was looking like a greek god infront of me.

snap out of it Y/n

"does this feel like the hate you have for me" he said leaning in and kissing my lips holding onto my hair. The kiss wasn't slow or sensual, nor filled with distaste. It was desperate, needy and fast, filled with desire. I kissed back my hands finding a way to latch onto his gelled hair.

After mere moments he moved on top of me, pulling off my pyjama top and finding his way to my unconcealed breasts kneading them like he was a sculptor and I was his masterpiece. He then moved his way down from my lips kissing down my neck placing hot warm open mouth kisses until he reached my tits sucking them and occasionaly nibbling my nipples.

He spent a few moments on each of my boobs until he started working his way down my body until he reached my belly button sending shivers up my spine causing me to arch my back, which allowed him to tug my pyjama shorts off along with my panties. The cold air to my exposed core shocked me right though causing an audible gasp.

"Now, Now Princess, None of that yet. I haven't even showed you my expert skills" Alex said, cockily. Stopping his work for a second tilting his head up to reach my eyes looking into my eyes with his hazel ones staring right back up at me lust taking over the hazel with black.

He continued with his hot wet kisses down until he reached my core, placing a hand over my clit before he started licking my folds slow and sensual, before he dove right into my clit switching his fingers for his mouth. He entered his fingers into me easing slowly but the pace soon quickened, causing me to let out a few whimpers every now and again.

He then switched out his fingers for his tongue jerking in and out sending me right out the knot forming in the bottom of my stomach before I could even orgasm though he pulled away completely.

"what are-" "I want to be inside you when you come" He said cutting me off sitting up and ripping off his clothes, one item by one until I heard the irreplaceable rip of foil he was infront of me completely naked and he came back down over me, placing his cock back inside me without warning which made me gasp.

Our bodies moved together, slow and sensual then fast and needy before I felt that knot again in the bottom of my stomach "Alex" I let out a moan "Im about to-" "let go princess I'm there too." We both came together it was something out of a movie the way Alex's face morphed when he came. We stayed together for a few minutes before he flipped me over and both our libidos came back again.

"ride me this time sweetheart, I want to feel every inch of that pussy sweetheart" He said, I didn't need telling before I was on top of him bouncing rolling my hips every which way. It soon got me to come again. Letting out a few strings of moans before, "oh alex" "oh my god" "Oh fuck" before a final one.

"that's it sweetheart come for me let it all out"

He came soon after.

I laid ontop of him for a good while.

"Come on lets get you cleaned up darling" He said getting up and pulling out of me before picking me up and pulling me into the bathroom and sitting me on the toilet

"go for a wee sweetheart, you don't want any nasty UTI'S" I did as he said while he found a some bubble bath and started running a bath.

"why are you doing this alex?"

"Why am I doing what sweetheart?"

"Looking after me, it's not like I deserve it. I've been nothing but horrible to you these past years we've known each other"

"It's what you deserve." He said,

the silent air between us smelt of sex but also had tension riding between us. What that tension was, I had no idea.

"Can I tell you something y/n" Alex said breaking the uncomfy silence we were sitting in

"You don't have to ask if you can tell me something Alex. Just tell me."

"I acted vile towards you, because I thought it was easier than loving you Princess. I soon realised that couldn't be far from the truth though. Loving you has been the easiest thing I have ever done." He said before retracting back into the silence that we had created around us.

"Alex." I said sighing

"You don't have to say you love me back right now, But there has to be something there right? what happened back there. There wasn't an ounce of hate in that sex Y/n"

"It's a lot right now Alex, But I definitely like you back." I said smiling sluggishly, the post sex sleep taking over my eyelids.

"uh uh, don't fall asleep on me princess. It's time to take a bath" He said pulling me off the toilet seat and placing me into the bathtub before climbing in behind me and sitting behind me allowing me to put my head back onto his chest.

He washed my hair, my back and let me do the rest we stayed resting against each other for a few minutes before he coaxed me out of the bathtub wrapping me up in a towel and putting my hair in another towel turban style. After getting dried I put my hair into a ponytail and put my pyjamas back on.

Alex joined me back on the bed, and pulling me close to his chest. we stayed like that before I felt my eyes grow heavy and fall asleep in Alex's warmth.

⋆｡°✩

I was woken up with chaste kisses being placed on my back with a pair of manly arms wrapped around my waist. Panic ensued for a few moments before I realised what happened last night.

Alex.

"I acted vile towards you, because I thought it was easier than loving you Princess" "Loving you has been the easiest thing I have ever done"

Princess.

A smile ripped through the blank expression on my face. It felt like a dream but alas it wasn't it was real life. I had someone that loved me someone that I loved back. I always thought that this happened in romance books or movies. But, it happened in real life too. That much was proven by Alex and I.

I hummed and turned over wrapping my arms round Alex

"Morning princess," Alex said "Why do you call me that?" "what princess?" "yeah."

"because, you are a princess and you deserve the world of luxuries" "Alex" I said tearing up "That's one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me"

"don't cry darling, I didn't mean to make you cry. I've done that enough over the years we've known each other"

"Happy tears I promise" I say silence crowding over us, But this time a nice comfortable one, Unlike the uncomfy tension one last night in the bathroom.

"I've been doing some thinking" I say this time me being the one to break the silence.

"Oh yeah? what's that darling?"

"I realised that I feel the same way you feel about me, I realised that I haven't felt like this ever, not when I was with other people, I never felt about them the same way the way I feel about you. I love you back Alex." I say before I get a kiss on my lips. This time filled with love, no desire for it to turn into something deeper.

Though we were soon burst out of our bubble by a knock at the door we both groaned I got up and answered the door.

"What do you want Matt?"

"Oh shit, You and Alex had sex didn't you. EWWW, ALEX MY SISTER DUDE?"

"Shut up what do you want?"

"You didn't deny it. It's true then?"

"yes. Alex and I are now seeing eachother. It happened last night. Now. Answer my question. What. Do. You. Want?"

"good to know. Your going to miss breakfast, It ends in half an hour and also soundcheck starts in 2 hours so make sure you're at the tour bus with 15 minutes to spare. Thank you goodbye. guess I won't need to be telling Ian to book those spare rooms after all." Matt says turning his back as I go to the shut door.

⋆｡°✩

END.

[i-am-true-believer]

Hello sweet readers, my fellow fanfiction lovers. My late night scrollers, my mid day day dreamers, my sunrise few. I have a little hypothetical for you, so please bare with me, I promise theres a point to this. Imagine Tumblr is a very large building with many, many rooms. And when you walk in theres doors and hallways and different wings and branches. Rooms for different fanfictions, different tropes, different worlds, characters, universes. And there are some doors that are perfectly well kept. They look like they have never been touched. You can tell theres things there but those arent your rooms, not your doors. And there are others where the carpets are wearing in the front of them from a well trodden path. Where you can see that they're well-loved and well kept and behind those doors, are your comfort characters, waiting for you.

They wait for you there. They're so excited when they hear the front door open. They just know you're coming to them. They want to see how they'll fall in love. Or how you'll fall in love or how you'll meet again. They want to know the adventures you're going to have, the stories you're going to tell. They'll ask how your day was, what your fears are. They are ready and waiting for you. That's how I see Tumblr. I see the other readers and writers as fellow travelers in and out of doors. We pass each other, and we smile and wave. We may make a comment or two, but it's safe. Here it is the safest place we could be in. I don't know if everybody else uses Tumblr this way, but I feel like there's a lot of us. We come here looking for safety and comfort, acceptance and love, and things that we can't get from everyday life. So I just want you to know that every time you open those doors, your comfort character wakes up and is ready for you. They're waiting for you, and no matter what is going on in everyday life, they love you, and you are not alone.

You are worthy, you are important, you matter, and you are loved. If not by people in your everyday life, then by your comfort characters and by me. I adore you and I hope that you will do everything possible to stay. It's not a bad life, it's just a bad time right now. Things will get better. And no, it doesn't seem that way right now, but I was there. I was in that dark place and comfort characters were one of the only things that helped me, that kept me going. Please don't give up, we need you here. Your favorite author would realize when you stop reading or when you stop commenting, your readers would miss your writing.

I feel a need to keep doing these posts because i have a hope that each one helps at least one person and thats enough for me.

So I want you to take a deep breath, breathe in and out. Relax your shoulders, remove your tongue from where it's pressed to the roof of your mouth. Take a drink of water, and continue your scrolling.

You are important here. The world would be so much darker without you and I hope tomorrow is better than today. I hope you find the fan fiction you need. Whether it is enemies to lovers, found family, The one bed trope, A/B/O, whatever it is, I hope it helps. I hope you have a place to escape to and I hope you know you are safe here. If you need a friend, i am more than willing to be that friend I will listen. Tell me about your favorite fan fictions. Tell me about life, tell me about your family, tell me about anything you need. Enjoy your scrolling, dear one. I hope tonight or this morning or whenever youre reading this is better than yesterday. I hope this makes life a little easier. You matter. You are important You are loved.

Your comfort character believes in you and so do I, we will always believe in you, and I will always be a safe plan to land. From the very, very happy girl on tumblr who was once a very, very sad girl who thought the world Was a little too dark and a little too scary. Who almost gave up and who's so glad she didn't.

❤️💛True Believer ❤️💛

[ultra-raging-ghost]

Idea for a little Cucuhalo fic/au. Ok hear me out:

Roommates/Office au

So, I haven't fully fleshed out the details yet, but Cucurucho as a rich boss that owns some kind of company and Bad is an employee that just moved from somewhere and started working in his company not too long ago. They try to get along... well enough in the office, albeit there's some tension and passive aggression between them.

Their co-workers love to gossip about them because it looks like there's something going on between the two, but it's all speculation for them. What they don't know is Bad and Cucurucho are actually secretly roommates, and they "hate" each other even more outside of the office.

Cucurucho has a cat that Bad wasn't initially fond of named Emotional Support (they're actually raising that cat like it's their baby lols) because Bad is more a dog person, but Cucurucho insisted on getting a cat as a pet. That's only one of their roommate quarrels. Most of the time they are extremely passive aggressive, and do things like, idk, not washing the other person's dishes lmao.

Despite how much they claim to hate each other, neither want to leave because "it's easier to share rent" or "no one would take care of Emotional Support when the other person is busy", some kind of excuse like that. But really, it's because they do enjoy having each other around, and sometimes, they have nice dinners and movie nights together. Then they fall asleep on their couch and wake up entangled, but neither wants to admit they were literally cuddling the night before. They are so attached to each other, but no one wants to say it out loud.

Basically this au is me wanting Cucuhalo office and roommate drama with a dash of sexual tension and long-term denial, romantic comedy sitcom style.

- alchemicaladarna

WAITTTT REAL

I love them living together and making up excuses to do so....

"Its expensive to live alone" "Emotional support is already so attached to him itd be mean to take her away from him" "We bought the furniture in a way that would make it weird for us to move out" (bad bought both the beds, or the one bed hayoooo, cucurucho bought like 20% of the spices and condiments, they dont feel like splitting up the furniture is what im getting at) "Theres no available housing in any areas id want to live in" etc. etc. any excuse to stay together even though to everyone else it seems like theyre at eachothers throats all the time!!

I think the way the workers would find out is a couple of them getting invited over. Like after a night out, one of them cant find a ride home so bad (resident guy who doesnt drink) offers to let them sleep on his couch for the night, and the next morning they wake up to arguing. They sit up on the couch and over the back of it who should they see in the kitchen together but CUCURUCHO and BADBOYHALO who are arguing because bad didnt ask before inviting said coworker over!! They kiss and make up (either metaphorically or literally) and cucurucho lets it go for now and sneaks off back to his (possibly their) room so he isnt caught and has bad send the coworker out as soon as they wake up. The coworker doesnt say anything about seeing cucurucho right then... but later on cucurucho and bad hear a lot of whispering that gets suddenly quiet when they walk by, and then it continues when they walk past.... more so than usual!!! And they dont think too much of it, but then someone comes up to bad's desk one day or approaches him in the hallway or by the water cooler and goes "so.. you and cucurucho, huh??"

(and then they realize bad's not the one to approach because hes very aloof and wouldnt pick up on the implications that the coworker would be dropping.. but theyre too afraid to go ask cucurucho about it for fear of getting chainsaw'd LMAO)

SHOUT OUT TO THE "ONLY ONE BED" TROPE, WE COULD DO SO MUCH WITH IT!!!

[arsenicflame]

fanfic trope: only one bed and amnesia

thank u !!! ha somehow i managed to get two with these exact tropes '''':)

Only One Bed:

C: Neutral. A good author might be able to sell it, but a bad one will kill it deader than dead.

in izzy fic we jump to:

B: Like it. Not one of my bigger cravings, but it can scratch a certain itch if I’m in the right mood.

its a fine trope, i just, have feelings about the plausibility of it. i like it used tactically in a story, not just thrown in there for the hell of it, yknow? it gets a big boost in izzyfic mostly because of the setting. 1) options are limited on a ship. 2) options are limited in port because its 1717. cant book ahead at all, bedding is expensive, it just feels More viable to me (though then i get thinking abt historical view on homosexuality and it becomes a whole thing i take tooooo seriously)

its not exactly only one bed but im a HUGE fan of scooping an injured Izzy into the captains bed (to keep an eye on him/because its the softest/etc) and then Ed & stede curling around him anyway, because its their bed.

Amnesia:

A: Love it. Spend my time combing AO3 for it

i already said a little earlier how i love whump, & this especially is so good. ive read it with a lot of ships i like, but for izzy specifically, i like playing around with who he might have been in the past. its not just about the loss of memories, its about remembering who he used to be too. its about the crew seeing a new, less stressed side of izzy, its about reminders of how ed & izzy's relationship used to be, theres so many layers to it that work especially well for these guys in particular! im also fond of how it can affect the stizzy relationship too (with either of them losing memories) and thats not even touching on sam... its always so good i swear

Give me a fanfiction trope and I’ll grade it

[comeon-intothemadhouse]

What are some of your absolute favorite fics? any fandom.

Hi anon! Ngl you've made my night last night and my whole day.

I was feeling kinda down but once I got thinking of my fav fics or what fics I'd consider my favs atm I kinda went on a bit of a journey to find all the ones i have saved on my backup drive and well that turned into a mission to choose my favs from each of my fandoms. (At least of the ones I managed to get backups)

I should probably make a proper fic rec list or something but for now theres this.

Teen Wolf:

Treading Water (Stiles/Derek/Allison)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1056559

 (Full series: Learning To Swim https://archiveofourown.org/series/73750)

Honestly this fic is the ultimate S/D/A fic. Delighfully kinky and has some truely great characterization.

What I Did On My Summer Vacation (Sterek)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1881024

Magic Stiles and wolf Derek and Laura being everything I wish the show could have given us. <3

Venom:

drawn into something (Venom/Eddie/Anne/Dan)

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1248083

This series has it all in every combination you can think of honestly. Kinky and desperate and lovely. This version of Dan is 10/10 btw

Agent Carter:

put our service to the test (Peggy/Jarvis)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3144659 (podfic by RSCreighton who is my fav podficcer period https://archiveofourown.org/works/3643392)

AoS:

Just Married (for a week) (FitzSimmons)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/34018864

Fake dating and enemies to lovers and sharing a bed. One of the best AoS aus imo

9-1-1:

Buck’s Big Bisexual Birthday Bash (Bucktommy, BuddieTommy and Buck/Multiple Others)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/56954287

Listen, it's the hottest smut on the planet afaik and is sweet in the way only Buddietommy really can be.

don't just stand there (BuckTommy -BuddieTommy)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/55252969

BuckTommy being cockblocked by Eddie until Eddie joins in. Whats not to love?

Tell Me It's Not Too Good To Be True (BuddieTommy)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/55539589

First BuddieTommy fic I read and it blew me out of the water. Exactly the dynamic I imagine BuddieTommy really settling into

kiss it when you're done(BuckTommy)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/55495252

Trans Buck & hot hot smut.

Stuck on Fast Forward (Throw Away the Blueprint)(Buddie)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/39154293

FWB Buddie is honestly my fav go-to trope for them bc it is the most in character nonsense for these two idiots lol and this was one of my top 10 Buddie fics since I got into the fandom

Leave the Light On (I'll Be Coming Home) (Buddie)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31704383

Heartbreaking and sweet in equal measures.

Big shout out to Last Outpost of All That Is by: gekizetsu because its my favourite Wincest fic and Supernatural fic all around and its THE fic I always bring up when asked about fav fics.

[dreamwritesimagines]

It’s CMA, taking notes as always:)-

Sorry in advance this is so fucking long. I don’t know if I’ll be allowed to send this all in one ask but we will see lol. This is actually more than I write for some essays. Like you’re going to have to click expand and be like holy shit. Anyway feel free to ignore my rambling shitty literary analysis at the end lolololol.

At least she can recognize that she’s being a hypocrite when it comes to being horny for Ben lmfao

(side note but I love that you write characters with believable flaws that make them more endearing and not less. And that they try to be better but they’re not perfect; that’s so real and I think that it’s a really hard line to walk and most people can’t/don’t. Anyway it’s being in awe of dreams writing hours again, which is all day every day)

The asking an annoying question and then immediately getting mad at herself internally- that’s such a mood lmfao

SHE SAID THAT THEYRE GOING TO STILL BE TOGETHER IN THE AFTERLIFE AODKNSNFBF I know it was a joke but also OMG CLOVER could you be any more obvious/oblivious!???!??!!

Also her complimenting him so heavily and it not being because she wants to kiss his ass but being genuine, and her not thinking that that says anything about her and her character wowkkfnfjrhthhf

Wait if he goes to Italy for the art academy, will she go with him? What about teddy??? I mean hopefully they’re over their codependent-ness by then, esp. since he has Josie and is learning to live with their aunt and uncle and everything, but still!!! Maybe Colin will take him to visit them…. All assuming he does go to the academy Ofc

Okay but does Josie know flowers and/or was she just fucking with clover? Anyway that’s also so relatable cuz I can’t draw for shit either lol

OH MY GOD DID HER PARENTS BREAK HER WRIST?!????!!!??!!!?!!!?!! THATS SO FUCKED UP!!!!!!!! (I mean I know we know that they were bad, but still getting the details makes me want to strangle them. I’m so nervous for when they come to town because I will want to strangle them every single moment of it lol; I already do!)

SHES TOO HORNY TO FOCUS!!!!! Lmfaoooo love that for her

He’s so cute telling her that she’s great at art even though he helped her!! He’s so sweet and I love that he wasn’t willing to let her think badly of herself for one second before doing everything in his power to prove him wrong

THE SEXUAL TENSION IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!! (And them too by the looks of it Lmfao)

LMFAO I vaguely remember us talking about Percy buying Anthony and Cherie’s kids ponies in a headcanon for enamored. I love that that trend is popping up again haha

THERES ONLY ONE BED TROPE MY BELOVED (or in this case: there’s actually two beds but they’re CHOOSING to share a bed, which is arguably even better) cuddling/sharing a bed to keep the nightmares away my beloved

Also they’re going from her locking the door on him to sharing a bed AHHHHH I’m so excited for them!!!!

PILLOW WALL MY BELOVED (okay I need to stop calling every single trope my beloved. It’s true but I don’t need to say it. I need a new word lmfao)

Am I sensing some foreshadowing where her heart is going to break and she feels like she’s dying, similar to what happened to cherie??? I hope not, she’s been through enough angst already. Though it would probably be something like he goes to a party to paint and she assumes the worst- the whole acting like she’s being retraumatized all over again even when she’s not.

“When are you free” “whenever you want me too” AIFJNFNDJFNFNDNFB it’s like he’s saying that he’s always free to do things for her and hang out with her and do whatever she needs.

This fic is killing me with the one million ways to say I love you without saying it and I fucking love it so much!!!!!!!!!!! It’s the words of affirmation and the acts of service and gifts and time spent together and listening and every single little thing they do for one another!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AUGH I love them SO much!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They way that he gives her complete control and isn’t condescending about it but genuinely wants her input and for her to decide what’s best. For her to choose what will make her comfortable and not force her to do anything. It’s the way that he suggests things as being optional where she can turn it down or choose how it’s done, and let’s her make her own choices and take control of what happens to her. I don’t know if I’m articulating myself properly but it just gets me so fucking soft and I love it SO much.

It’s the way that he never wants to do something that so much as even makes her uncomfortable, and the way that he does everything in his power to take care of and nurture her. I swear to god I know I’m rambling but I can’t help it; I’m just so in love with them and this story.

I also love that he’s close with his mom, which is such a minor detail that we knew about all the bridgerton siblings, but still- it’s so cute!!

“As my lady wishes” DREAM ARE YOU TRYING TO FUCKING KILL ME BECAUSE CONGRATS ITS WORKING

At least she realizes how fucking domestic they sound- does he?

I love the contrast of this story with enamored. Cherie and Anthony were a huge roller coaster of emotions, not because of anything in particular but because cherie just happens to be a very dramatic person. It’s not that the highs and lows were fabricated, but more so that they were very abrupt and very dramatic.

On the other hand we have Ben and clover, who are not very dramatic at all. The tension comes from them not being dramatic actually- the pining, the slow-burn- whereas there wasn’t as much of a slow-burn in enamored- Anthony and cherie both gave in rather quickly and let themselves be swept away in it, whereas clover is very much hanging on and resisting.

This does say a lot about clover too though because I don’t think that she could handle the dramatic ups and downs of cherie and Anthony’s relationship, nor would she want to. Cherie had a single trauma that affected her entire life, but she still had a mother that loved and took care of her and raised her in a relatively normal manner. Clover on the other hand had a prolonged series of abuse with no reprieve, no safe space, and no safe adult.

The differences in their trauma literally shape who they become- cherie decides to believe in love against all logic because she thinks that love will prevent her from being traumatized again and because she had a parent who loved her, so she knows that that love exists, and clover decides to believe against trust and love at all costs because she can’t afford to be hurt again. She doesn’t see the world as being worth loving or trusting because she’s never received that sort of love; she’s only given it, which has resulted in nothing but pain for her, so she rejects the very idea of it.

Also cherie was reacting from what she knew- her parents’ and subsequently her trauma was a very sudden, very dramatic event. It was if you hurt me once, you’ve lost me forever, and her being taught that really shows in her relationship with Anthony. She shows the dramatic highs and lows, and how she clings on so tightly because it will all be taken away if one wrong move is made, and we see her react that way throughout the story.

Clover is also reacting to what she knows- she believes that people cannot be trusted, that there’s something inherently wrong with them, or with her, that renders her incapable of trusting them. She is also in a constant state of stress because of the nature of her trauma- it was prolonged and constant and she never knew when it was going to go down; she had absolutely no warning. Whereas cherie uses things like Anthony “cheating” as a sign that trauma is imminent, but otherwise functions well as long as that sign is not present, clover never has any sign of when the trauma will arrive; for all she knows, it’s already there and she acts as if it is.

Actually you see this reflected in Anthony too a bit because of the suddenness of his father’s death and the immediate burden it placed upon him especially, whereas Ben didn’t have that pressure and was able to learn to cope more freely and for longer, both of which shaped who they would eventually become, with Anthony being repressed and unable to properly process/handle his emotions and benedict embracing his feelings and being emotionally aware of himself.

You definitely see how they, despite being brothers with the same trauma, had two different trauma responses and how this affects their future relationships. Benedict is able to go slow and care for clover because he’s learned how to care for himself. He’s learned how to listen and embrace whatever she’s feeling without judgement because he does it everyday. Anthony on the other hand can’t go slow- he rushes into things without thinking because he’s terrified that if he waits for even a moment to think about what he’s feeling or going through, that he’ll be too late. It’s his whole thinking irrationally that he’s going to die young thing all over again; he doesn’t have time to embrace his emotions, he is just controlled by them.

This is why cherie and Anthony have such a chaotic relationship- they’re both assuming they’re going to be abandoned/abandon the other, and they treat their relationship that way. It’s very rushed with no control because they feel like they need to savor every moment they have together, and it results in complete and utter chaos- passion at the expense of reason.

On the other hand, Ben and clover also react to their own relationship the way they’ve been taught. She’s slow and cautious so that she can retreat at any moment and protect herself, and he’s slow because he’s not afraid of being abandoned or hurt; he lives and loves with very little regard to himself. He also recognizes that he could ruin everything by rushing in too quickly- he’s smart about it and thinking about each step rationally.

This is really ironic because Anthony is usually considered the stoic, emotionless, and logical brother whereas Ben is usually assumed to be controlled by his emotions, whereas it’s really Anthony who is controlled by his emotions because he lives in fear of them, but benedict is able to control his because he’s embraced them. It’s a really, really fascinating analysis about emotional health- not feeling things is deceptively and significantly worse than actually being able to sit with your emotions and live with them. Repressing emotions only gives the illusion of being in control, when it actually surrenders them and gives them the power to control you.

I really like Ben and clover (in case you couldn’t tell lolololol) because it shows two people who are choosing to be kind despite what the world has thrown at them. With Anthony and cherie, as much as I love them, it felt like a very slippery slope into passion with very little control. There’s something beautiful about Ben and clover choosing to be there for one another. Ben is choosing to be patient and wait for her and take care of her- it’s a very emotionally conscious sort of love, and clover is choosing to keep inching forward despite her fear.

That’s not to say that Anthony and cherie didn’t choose one another- they certainly did, but I’m not entirely convinced that either of them were the only ones for one another. I mean we even see this when clover could have chosen Pierre or someone else at any point and Anthony could’ve chosen sienna or anyone else. They chose one another when they had other options, but they still had other options, whereas I don’t see clover with any other options.

I know Ben has other options, so he’s still choosing clover but not every person in the ton would be patient and willing enough to sit with her to go at her own pace.

I also think it’s almost like gaining the trust of an animal, let’s say a dog. If you gain the trust of one that was raised in a loving home and loves people, then that’s great! That love is super special and deserves cherishing. But you didn’t work for it and it’s not particularly hard for any person in the world to earn the love of that dog if something happens to you.

But if you have a dog that’s been hurt before and doesn’t trust anyone, and you put in the love and patience without rushing it, then you and that dog have a bond for life. Then there is an inherent, earned sense of trust that is fragile at first but also the strongest that could be. That trust is special because not everyone could’ve earned that trust; there’s not the sense that it could’ve been given away at any given moment because it won’t be.

Of course this isn’t a perfect analogy and isn’t to say that there’s anything wrong with an instantly loving dog, just that they’re very different and there’s value in a relationship that takes hard work and is forged over a long period of time.

With Anthony and cherie, their relationship was a sprint. They both acted like any moment could be their last and every step matters. Clover and Ben’s relationship is a marathon- you don’t know how long it will take, but you know that even if you’re tired you can’t give up. Even if you stumble once, that’s not as important as if you keep going. One foot in front of the other, just keep going. When you reach the end of a marathon, in a lot of ways it feels much sweeter because it took longer and more willpower. Even though it hurts more, you end up accomplishing something far greater.

And don’t get me wrong, I love cherie and Anthony, as you very well know. It’s just that I have a soft spot for people who choose to be together. And people who choose to be shelters in storms for those who are hurting.

Okay this is an essay and I don’t even know if tumblr will let me send this all in one ask, and there’s so much more to say but my thumbs are tired and I need to eat LOL.

Sorry this is so long lol, I just get really excited (as you know lol) and I love love love literary analysis when it’s not being done for a class LOL.

Okay love u see u when u answer this in a day or so!!!

CMA MY LOVE!

Omg I’m so ready for this and I’m incredibly excited, I have been thinking of this ask the whole day! ❤️

So first of all, NEVER EVER apologize for this because you know how much I love long asks and analyses! 🥰 You’ve made my whole day with this! ❤️

I’m so gonna fangirl over you btw😍❤️❤️

She can totally recognize that she’s being a hypocrite when it comes to that YES 😂  And that will happen a lot❤️

Aw it is so wonderful to hear that! ❤️ I really try to pay attention to character flaws and make sure to include them and their influence over their behavior and such so it’s such good news for me! 😍 I think character flaws actually make the character more like…real and relatable 😁

Omg you noticed that detail aaaaaa! 😍 She jokes about being together in the afterlife and she doesn’t even realize what it means or how she is getting more comfortable with the idea of being with him 😏

She believes in him wholeheartedly and they will actually have a convo about that in the next chapter!

Oh he wants to get into the art academy in England love, not in Italy 😁 They were just talking about one of the artists that helped build the one in Italy ❤️ But I do think that if he went to the art academy in Italy, Clover would go with him too at least until the end of his time and training there ❤️ But like, they wouldn’t spend the rest of their lives in Italy for sure❤️

Josie has some idea about flowers but Clover is a terrible artist when it comes to drawing/painting lolll😂

The wrist thing… Oh we will learn about that wrist thing 😈

Listen, unresolved sexual tension and yearning will be such an ongoing theme in the following chapters and we will have so much fun with it! 😂

Benedict is always ready to encourage her no matter what she’s insecure about 🥰

The ponyyyy yes! ❤️ I couldn’t use it in the actual chapters of Enamored, so I had to use that one here, it is adorable! ❤️

THERE IS ONLY ONE BED TROPE IS SUCH A GOOD TROPE!😍

There will be much angst going on 😏

one million ways to say I love you without saying it THIS IS SUCH A GOOD WAY TO PUT IT OMG 😍

Exactly! Like, it is incredibly important to Benedict that Clover chooses what is comfortable for her and that she doesn’t feel like she is being forced to do anything she doesn’t want to do ❤️ Unlike many people and couples in the ton, their relationship is totally equal and he will try so hard to make sure Clover sees that ❤️

Benedict has such a good relationship with his whole family and I think soon enough Clover will get so close with his family as well! ❤️

Oh yeah, they sound more and more like a married couple 😂

It is so interesting that you bring this up darling because like, when I was planning this story that contrast was one of the very first things I thought of! ❤️ I try to explore something different in every fic, a different genre or trope or character development but in here one of the first things I decided on was the difference between dynamics❤️

Cherie being a very dramatic person actually set the tone of Enamored in a way, and Clover resisting the idea of love so vehemently and not even realizing the yearning it leads is going to set the tone in GoS ❤️

Oh you’re absolutely right, Clover couldn’t handle the dramatic ups and downs of Cherie and Anthony’s relationship, it would mess her up so badly 💔 In order for her character development to happen, she needs a safe harbor, in a way ❤️ Otherwise she would totally shut down 💔

Their trauma really did shape them! Like, even if Cherie didn’t really have a father growing up, she was still much more privileged than Clover could ever be ❤️ She was very sheltered and coddled and Cassie tried to keep her away from her own trauma of divorce -even though it was impossible to do it completely- Cherie never really witnessed actual heartbreak until she got to London. She believed her parents didn’t love each other so she grew up thinking love was the most important thing in the world, because she had the privilege to do so.

Clover on the other hand was not given that same privilege💔 So she has so many trust issues because of her background, because it’s full of nightmares and trauma 💔

It was if you hurt me once, you’ve lost me forever, and her being taught that really shows in her relationship with Anthony. She shows the dramatic highs and lows, and how she clings on so tightly because it will all be taken away if one wrong move is made, and we see her react that way throughout the story. This is so true!😍

For Cherie, in a way – at least up until a certain point in the story- everything was life or death, she has such a determined way of thinking that she wasn’t really familiar with the “gray” area ❤️ It was yet another thing her parents’ divorce influenced her way of seeing things, especially love and relationships ❤️

clover never has any sign of when the trauma will arrive; for all she knows, it’s already there and she acts as if it is. Yesss because for her it’s always there at the back of her mind! 💔 She basically grew up in survival mode, she had to look out for any and every small change, a difference in one’s tone of voice or even a glance, so she is still very much ready to jump back at the slightest sign of it 💔

Anthony’s trauma response and Benedict’s trauma response are incredibly different than each other and it influenced every single part of their lives, from their personalities to their romantic relationships. That’s also why -from the beginning- Benedict had more chance with Clover than any other person did, he is very observant and he was allowed to figure out his own feelings in everything, he didn’t have to taken on the responsibilities that Anthony did. Benedict was allowed to be himself while Anthony was forced to be the head of the family after their father’s death❤️

This is why cherie and Anthony have such a chaotic relationship- they’re both assuming they’re going to be abandoned/abandon the other, and they treat their relationship that way. It’s very rushed with no control because they feel like they need to savor every moment they have together, and it results in complete and utter chaos- passion at the expense of reason. This is a perfect analysis of their dynamic! 😍

It's so true! Like, Cherie and Anthony had that “rush” throughout their relationship even from the beginning, they were sneaking around, they were keeping things secrets, they were actively looking for unchaperoned moments even if they knew about the consequences and it took them a very long time and a lot of character development to realize that they can actually calm down and control the chaos ❤️

Benedict and Clover’s relationship is the total opposite of it ❤️ While Cherie and Anthony could be incredibly reckless, most of the moments between Benedict and Clover were planned and calm, like Benedict has been incredibly careful to give her that space instead of chaos ❤️

This is really ironic because Anthony is usually considered the stoic, emotionless, and logical brother whereas Ben is usually assumed to be controlled by his emotions, whereas it’s really Anthony who is controlled by his emotions because he lives in fear of them, but benedict is able to control his because he’s embraced them. Definitely!

I think it’s also very interesting because of the dynamics of power and control in both couples. In Cherie and Anthony’s relationship, up until the moment she heard Simon and Anthony in the study, Anthony had been the one in control and he quite liked it, like that was kind of the dynamic between them. It took him the actual danger of losing her forever to learn to let go of that control in their relationship, that was one of the biggest challenges for him in terms of character development❤️

Benedict and Clover on the other hand are very different than that, because up until the moment they got caught, there was not an instance or a time where they were together and Clover wasn’t in control. And she knew it, that was why she was so comfortable to be around him even unchaperoned❤️ Even when their first kiss happened, though Benedict was the one who told her he would kiss her if she didn’t walk away, she was the one who took the first step, she was the one who pulled the cigarette from his lips so that he could kiss her ❤️ Clover has been setting the pace in their relationship from the very beginning, Benedict just makes sure they can talk and spend time together ❤️

Oh yeah, Cherie and Anthony’s romance was very out of control throughout the story, Clover and Benedict on the other hand are moving much more carefully and with so much patience ❤️

They definitely had other options in terms of marriage! But I also think after meeting one another, they would always be in love with each other even if they married other people❤️

I actually don’t think there is anyone in the ton that Clover would have the dynamic and romance she has with Benedict! ❤️ The same for Benedict, I think something would feel missing 😁They are meant for each other and we will see many scenes with it! ❤️

Oh I totally get that analogy, yes! ❤️ And working for that trust creates a very strong bond ❤️

Sprint vs marathon is a wonderful way to put it! ❤️ Anthony and Cherie were very impulsive, and Benedict and Clover are more…like, they’re more in control ❤️ It will take them a very long time to be open with each other -at least on Clover’s part- but it will also make them fall for each other even more ❤️ Especially for Clover, she is not the person to fall for someone that suddenly and willingly like Cherie ❤️ Cherie spent her whole life wishing and waiting for her love story, so when she finally got it she was so happy that she didn’t think about slowing down 😂 Clover on the other hand spent her whole life repeating over and over again how she would never fall in love, so it will be a very different process for her ❤️

DARLING-

I am hugging you virtually, like…. You have no idea how much it means to me that you wrote this, you have made me incredibly happy! 🥰 You are so talented with literary analysis and symbolism and also reading the characters and between the lines! ❤️ This ask gave me so much inspiration and also made me think of the story in very different ways with different perspective 🥰 And I learned a lot about the dynamics of the characters and I’m just like, so excited to use it in the story! 🥰😍❤️

I re-read this the whole day over and over again and I am still in awe of it ❤️  I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND YOU’RE SO AMAZING OMG ❤️

[taysnbxx]

"up for another round?"

GUYS... I JUST THOUGHT TO MAKE THIS BC OF THOSE UNFINISHED TIKTOK ONE SHOTS ABOUT THIS 😭

im testing waters with this... please dont mind it

tw: none rlly??, smut, there is some baddie words here.., smut like REAL SMUT, guys warning if u dont like this, be careful

one bed trope with your enemy! ("enemy")

NOT spellchecked, please dont mind any mistakes!!

~ " your enemies name here will be jay! - .

prologue:

you were on a vacation trip with your class. you guys had to stay in a hotel, since that was the only place with enough rooms for all of you. you got hotel room partners, but they were assigned by the teachers. coincidentally, you got paired with your enemy, jay. (JAY; a cold but also too handsome for his own good person. you guys were never close with each other, but somehow there was always a rivalry between you guys. it started with comparing grades, then social status's, and somehow you guys ended up to be full-on enemies.) when you got to your hotel room, you found out that there was only one bed. yep.

"what the fuck?" he says loudly. "what's wrong?" you say, barely being able to move in your suitcase. "there's only one bed, that's what's fucking wrong!" he says, glaring at you. "..oh." you reply, deadpanned. "one of us is going to sleep on the ground, and I already know who that is. .." he turns to look at you.

"hey! why me?! I have to get my beauty sleep, too!" you retaliate. "why can't you sleep on the floor? you're the man," you scoff. 'jeez, why does he have to be so rude and straightforward about it?!', you think to yourself.

"yeah, no. im not sharing a bed with you." he says, and you swear you can see a faint blush on his face.

"what ever. I'm getting ready for bed. or should I say the floor?" you sarcastically reply.

walking into the bathroom, you get the shower ready and you start to take your clothes off.

hopping in, you feel relieved that the water is the perfect temperature. things were already going wrong enough today. first, you got hotel roomies, but you couldn't choose who. then, you somehow got paired up with jay. dont the teachers see that you two are enemies? but.. honestly? you like jay. you've liked him for a long time now. you just.. were scared of rejection, since you were "enemies."

suddenly, theres a knock on the door. "hey, are you done yet? you take so fucking long in there." jay's annoying voice whisper yells.

getting out of the shower and getting changed, you walk outside the room and reply, "now im done."

jay glares at you, "its about time." there's a deafening yet awkward silence for the next few minutes. when the bathroom door opens, its revealed to see jay in nothing but a towel. "what the hell?! put some clothes on!" you say, blushing and looking away.

not seeming to care, jay just grabs his clothes and goes back into the bathroom to change.

you, having to sleep on the cold, hard ground, you were angry about it. so you tried to make him feel bad. when he came out of the bathroom once again, you tried to make him feel bad by sniffling a bit, and switching from side to side on the floor.

honestly? it worked.

turning his head to you, he looked at you pitifully. "what?" you asked.

"..." no response.

all of a sudden, jay gets up from the bed, looks at you, and grabs your things before throwing them on the bed.

"what are you doing?" you ask. "I'm not letting you sleep on the floor anymore." he says. "awww, " you coo.

"you stay on this side, though. dont touch me, dont look at me, and dont disturb me." he says roughly. your shocked, and disappointed.

".." "got it?" "yep, got it."

he turns the lights off, and you get comfy in the bed. closing your eyes, you hear him getting up and leaning against the headboard.

you turn around, and see him just sitting there, wide awake.

"what are you doing still awake?" you ask. "I cant fall asleep." he admits, but then his face starts turning a pink red. "what's wrong? are you blushing? what are you-" suddenly he lays down and just looks at you.

"did you think that we would ever be sharing a bed?" he asks you. "I mean, it's unexpected isn't it. "

a bit confused by the sudden topic change, you reply, "hm, yeah.. I didnt think that this would be happening, thats for sure."

the next few minutes are a blur, and the next thing you know, you fall asleep. lightly snoring, you switch sides to face the door.

all of a sudden, you wake up, only to find that what seems to be jay's firm arms around you, almost as if he was hugging you from behind.

"..jay?" you ask, quietly, checking if he's awake.

suddenly, he flips you over to face him. "I have a confession to make, y/n." "uh.. what is it?" you ask, head tilting.

"... I like you."

coughing, you sit up, and look down at him.

"is this a prank?" you ask, not believing your ears.

"ive liked you since we've met in the start of high school." he blurts out, sitting up next to you.

"..."

looking away, he says, "I knew you wouldn't feel the same. just.. ignore I said anything." "hold on-.."

he turns to face you again. "yes?"

"I like you too, jay. ive also liked you for a while, I just.. didnt know what you would think."

the tension was so thick you couldn't even cut it with a chainsaw.

he starts to turn bright red, and he moves closer.

the next moments are a blur and somehow you two are now making out heavily, hands tangled in each others hair, and your cheeks, burning up. how did you get here? ...you dont even know.

pulling away, you two are out of breath, his eyes trailing down your body.

he thens tugs at your clothes, almost as if he's a dog in heat. he's desperate to be closer to you.

starting to undress, you realize what's going on. how did a night together end up like this?

completely naked in each others sight, he grabs you by your hips and starts to coax you onto his length.

"ah.. will it fit?" you lightly moan. "dont worry, it'll fit," he says sweetly.

"f-fuck.. your so tight.." he groans. starting to bounce you up and down slowly, you now realize how gorgeous he is, the sunrise beaming on his sweat dripping face, his dark eyes focused on you.

starting to runt his hips up and down, he roughly manhandles you and flips you over on the bed, and puts you into a mating press.

your ankles are where his ears are, and you didnt even know you were this flexible. the bed is creaking from his now increased pace, leaving no mercy for your red, puffy cunt.

as he starts thrusting, you become dazed. he gets closer to you, his lips right next to your ears, making sure you hear each and every one of his sounds just for you.

"mmh.. you feel 's good baby..." he groans into your ear. "aah.. s-slow down, jay.." you moan, already breathless.

already on your 3rd orgasm, he starts to rub his fingers on your sensitive bud, coaxing an orgasm 2x faster. its a wonder how he didnt finish yet.

"m-mmh, jay.... aah.. p-please.." the bed is on life support right now, and his voice starts shaking as he continues to moan into your ear.

he then pulls out, only to slam right into you.

"a-ah!! jay!!!" you yelp, only to hear him chuckle.

another 5 minutes pass, and you're pretty sure that everyone can hear you now. your practically shouting his name, saying things like "mmh, jay, faster!" or "aah, jay slow down..!"

you are absolutely stimulated, and thanks to your luck, right when you feel as if you cant take it anymore, his thick loads of cum shoot in you.

both of you moaning VERY loudly, he then sees that your pussy is practically overflowing with his and your cum, dripping onto his balls and the hotel bed.

the next thing you know there's a loud knock on the door.

"oh shit. .." he says, then he gets up, goes to the bathroom to put on his clothes really quick, covers you with the blanket and then answers the door to see the teacher. ...

"good morning jay, good morning y/n. " the teacher peeks inside the room, looking for you.

"are you guys okay? are you hurt? I heard some groaning. do you need a first aid kit?"

"..oh uh, yeah, I stubbed my toe. no big deal," jay lies.

a dark red blush creeps onto your face as you get flashbacks from the unholy deeds that were causing the loud noises from your room.

"oh okay, just stay safe!" the teacher innocently replies, and then waves goodbye.

jay, now looking back at you, smirks and gets back into bed with you.

he looks at you, and his eyes are full of lust as he looks your body up and down.

"up for another round?"

[the-kipsabian]

for the fanfic ask game: 🍉🍓🥭🍒🥑

and sending you all the energy and focus today! you got this! 💚💚💚

🍉 Favorite trope? What’s a cliche that you just love? im sure theres a lot, but what first comes to mind is the moment where a strong character breaks down. especially if its for that one particular person that they like, the only one that can see them vulnerable like that. thats the good stuff

🍓 OTP(s)? again im sure theres a lot more (i should honestly read more now that im more or less back into the fanfic train ough) but orangekip will be my main. admittedly mostly cause of the thoughts and feelings i find very easy to project on them both, together and separately, but its just. my everything. my beloveds <3 bunnylope and chris/drew deserve honorable mentions tho. i would read so much of both if people wrote more tbh ajsndkja

🥭 How do you come up with fic ideas? i mostly just have too many stupid thoughts flying around in my head. sometimes its projecting my own thoughts and feelings into things. sometimes its song lyrics. i consume a lot of content with my faves so sometimes it comes from things that happen over there that i wanna explore with peeps im writing about. honestly i mainly just think a lot. most of my best ideas are either canon inspired (literally the entire plot of immortal fears) or are build around random lines that come to me while im trying to sleep, as im one of those people that tells themselves bedtime stories while laying in bed lol

🍒 Do you title your chapters? 95% of the time its a song lyric ngl. if its not, i just try to find something that fits the vibe. im really bad at titles ngl lol

🥑 Any writing advice? that generic "write for yourself first and foremost" cause honestly as long as youre happy with what you create who cares about the rest. also my go to is that first drafts dont have to be perfect - you can always just put down the words first, and then later return to it and revise and edit. "we'll fix it in post" and/or "we write like men and edit later" are my two favorite phrases i use about this as motivation personally

fanfic writer q & a ~