#the thing about his brothers is that they won't even feel grateful right.... like maybe they think he is strong now and have respect for him

[hauntingblue]

Big mom backstory time?????

[zykamiliah]

shen yuan likes yue qingyuan, the post

i've documented 19 moments featuring sy!shen qingqiu's feelings for yue qingyuan with the express purpose of showing those who think that sy!sqq doesn't like yqy that they are factually WRONG

this is a long one so buckle up, grab a snack, get a drink, etc etc

number one

as it's the usual with shen qingqiu, the first thing he notices in a man is whether he's handsome or not. and here you go: the first thing he sees upon waking up from getting isekai-ed is a handsome, elegant young man looking at him with concern. we do know how shen qingqiu likes that look on pretty men (he likes it a lot)

i also want to point out that yue qingyuan is the first pidw character shen yuan meets. he's already linked to him, not only because he's shen qingqiu's martial sibling, but he's also intrinsically tied to shen yuan's rebirth, to the moment he opens his eyes to the pidw world for the first time. keep this in mind.

number two

upon getting up to date on wtf happened to him and learning his new identity, the second thing shen qingqiu does is worry about yue qingyuan's fate. he doesn't even know him yet and is already giving him the blorbo treatment. why is that? oh, maybe because he likes him???

do you know how many characters shen yuan was "rather fond of"??? not that many i tell you. he's only derailed from worrying about whether he'll cause yue qingyuan's death because the system gives him a little sneak peek of the human stick scene.

so up to this point sy!shen qingqiu has characterized yue qingyuan as a brother type, an amicable, elegant and handsome man, a bleeding heart, too good for this world.

number three

now we add 'considerate' to the many praises shen qingqiu extols on yue qingyuan. the man has to be really busy with all the sect leader work he has to do and yet he makes time to visit shen qingqiu regularly. we know why yue qingyuan does that, but shen qingqiu won't learn about qijiu's backstory until much later, and right now it doesn't matter. the fact remains: shen qingqiu is grateful to the point of tears to have yue qingyuan. even if he doesn't talk about it, we can theorize that he feels a bit lonely: he's a stranger in a new world, like a newborn baby. he may be obsessed with luo binghe but at this point of the story he still hasn't got time to bond with him. so the person shen qingqiu first latches on immediately after his transmigration is yue qingyuan.

number four

"how dare that scumbag shen jiu not treat his shixiong like the god he is, with the kindness and respect he deserves? well i'm not the same, so i WILL treat yue qingyuan better!"

(it's the intention what counts, okay? we know he kind of fuck ups a few times and gives yqy much stress)

also love how shen qingqiu says "brotherly covenant", he really values familial bonds, and he'll come to treasure his bonds with all his martial siblings really quickly.

also, may i point out that shen qingqiu decides to be a good shidi for yue qingyuan and treat him well without any "ulterior motives"? it's not even tied to his survival. he's a kind person by nature, yes, but he doesn't even try to convince the reader that he's going to be a good martial sibling for selfish reasons, which was the case with liu qingge. he just up and decides that yue qingyuan deserves his respect and consideration. he officially adopts yue qingyuan as his big brother.

number five

"at home in the atmosphere of brotherly love", do i need to say more? yue qingyuan makes him feel at home in this new world, he's comfortable around him. his presence soothes shen qingqiu.

number six

furthermore, yue qingyuan reminds him of the brothers of his first life, but the sorrow he feels for losing them is overpowered by a "comforting sense of warmth" so great it makes him feel cheerful. this is the scene where yue qingyuan welcomes him back upon his arrival from the skinner demon incident. in that scene, the first thing they do is smile at each other. shen qingqiu is happy to see him.

he's surprised when yue qingyuan takes his wrist to examine his spiritual circulation, but when he notices what yue qingyuan is doing he instantly relaxes. yue qingyuan's touch doesn't bother him at all.

see how yue qingyuan's presence is often linked to feelings of comfort, warmth, home, brotherly love, joyfulness? keep this in mind too. don't you dare to forget it.

number seven

this is post-demon invasion, while they are discussing the effects of without a cure. shen qingqiu is making good on his word of treating yue qingyuan better than his predecessor, by tamping down yqy's tendency to blame himself for everything.

"i understand that yue qingyuan is genuinely worried about me, unlike SOME PEOPLE, so i have to reassure him in case he decides to be more stressed than normal"

bonus: 7.5

("the three of them" refers to shen qingqiu, mu qingfang and yue qingyuan)

i want to quote this part too, because i can, and because this scene in the donghua was 100% faithful to the novel. just another reminder that shen qingqiu likes martial siblings.

number eight

now we're coming to the siblings-coded moments

exhibit one: "oh oh i figured it out so i'll say it before you do"

i want to point out that shen qingqiu says "obviously", because from his POV yue qingyuan only does things for a good reason. shen qingqiu idolizes him.

number nine

siblings-coded moments exhibit two: "i know how to make you let me do what i want"

we've jumped 3 years, this is the prelude to jinlan arc, and this is how their relationship has evolved. shen qingqiu knows what he has to say for yue qingyuan to allow him to go to jinlan. this is a method he's used the past, of course, because this isn't the first mission he went on after getting poisoned or after the IAC.

+bonus: 9.5 yqy being a mother hen

(this is the day after lbh chased him around jinlan)

number ten

shen qingqiu has just been accused of abusing his disciple, consorting with demons, murder, and being demonic cultivator wu yanzi's disciple. yue qingyuan almost starts a fight right there and there because they want to take his shidi away, but shen qingqiu stops him and his other martial siblings before it can escalate.

he gives yue qingyuan a deep bow. we've already established he respects yue qingyuan a great deal. he's ashamed that he's caused yue qingyuan so much trouble and grief, because he really cares about him, and his opinion of him, and he genuinely didn't want to be like the original who made yue qingyuan suffer a lot. shen qingqiu cares about his sect, about his martial siblings, and about yue qingyuan to the point that he GIVES HIMSELF UP to be imprisoned.

this is plot relevant! remember it, because shen qingqiu only feels ashamed and guilty when he thinks he has wronged the people he loves!

on that note:

number eleven

(this is when luo binghe is laying siege to qiong ding to recover sqq's stolen body and sqq, in the mushroom body, sees his sect siblings for the first time after five years)

number twelve, AKA THE ULTIMATE QUOTE

"the one who placed first" YOU HEAR THAT? YUE QINGYUAN IS THE PERSON HE ADMIRES AND REVERES THE MOST. AND NOT BECAUSE HE LOVED SHEN QINGQIU, IT'S NOT AN ADMIRATION BORN OF A SELFISH FEELING. it's because yue qingyuan is The Protector. THE BLEEDING HEART. he admires his kindness, his self-sacrificing nature, and even if shen qingqiu doesn't know, this are traits they have in common.

number thirteen

siblings-coded exhibit 3: when your other little brother tattles on you to your older brother and you're planning revenge

Remaining seated, Yue Qingyuan looked at him. “A lot of nonsense you’ve stirred up these days,” he said mildly. “Are you done?” Yue Qingyuan had never assumed such a severe attitude when speaking to him before, even going so far as to use a word like “nonsense.” This was already the equivalent of a flogging. It seemed that Liu Qingge had badmouthed him quite thoroughly. Shen Qingqiu swore that one day he’d steal Cheng Luan and use it to chop all the pork hock in all the kitchens of the Twelve Peaks. He’d chop until the oily sheen smothered all its sword glares!

so yue qingyuan being mad at you feels like the equivalent of a flogging. i get you sqq. like when my mom or my brother are mad at me i really feel like crying. anyway. it's hilarious that sqq is planning on stealing chen luan because liu qingge allegedly tattled on him to yue qingyuan.

it's obvious that shen qingqiu recognizes yue qingyuan as a figure of authority in his life, he respects him and as i said before, he cares about what yue qingyuan thinks of him.

number fourteen

we know that shen qingqiu's unconscious actions say a lot about him as a person, and the fact that he unconsciously took a step towards yue qingyuan speaks volumes. he's practically wavering between following yue qingyuan or staying with luo binghe.

this will not be the first time he hesitates to go with luo binghe on the face of yue qingyuan's request/order to stay with him. and in this case, he does stay with cang qiong because the situation has gotten pretty bad.

He didn’t know how long he could hold the others off, and he absolutely couldn’t abandon this mess of a situation and escape with Luo Binghe. Yue Qingyuan and Liu Qingge had been brazen with their show of bias, and Wu Wang was already furious. Either Shen Qingqiu or Luo Binghe had to stay behind, or open conflict would erupt between Zhao Hua Monastery and Cang Qiong Mountain.

yue qingyuan and liu qingge just protected him in front of everyone, so he chooses to stay with them. shen qingqiu is incredibly loyal to them, and most importantly, he doesn't want cang qiong mountain to get into trouble because of him.

this is as good a moment to remind you all that in a lot of instances cqm = yqy in shen qingqiu's mind. obviously there is also the other peak lords and the disciples, but this is important. it isn't just because yqy is the sect leader. yue qingyuan was the first martial sibling he met, the one that welcomed him to the world of pidw and the one that kept him company those first days post-transmigration.

+ bonus: siblings coded exhibit 4:

yqy, out loud so others hear: you're grounded also yqy, whispering: let's have dinner and watch a movie once we get home, what do you want for dessert?

i can't stop laughing

+ bonus 2: parallelisms

(this moment is right after shen qingqiu has learned of shen jiu's past and woke up after being unconscious for 5 days)

When he next opened them, what filled his vision instead was a white bed curtain, its corners decorated with tassels. At the sudden change in scenery, Shen Qingqiu froze in place, surprised and unable to react—at least not before he heard Yue Qingyuan’s voice beside him. “Awake?” Shen Qingqiu mechanically blinked a couple times. His throat felt a bit dry, but he forced out his voice. “Zhangmen-shixiong.” (...) Shen Qingqiu awkwardly sat up. Suddenly, he thought this scene was a little familiar. The first time he’d woken in this world, Yue Qingyuan had also been at his bedside, watching over him.

number fifteen

so shen qingqiu knows he can get away with disobeying yue qingyuan and doing whatever he wants because yqy will forgive him anyway, and yet he chooses to respect yqy's decision and authority. of course he'll later convince yue qingyuan that he should allow him to go, like he's done many times before, but he won't deliberately disobey his zhangmen-shixiong.

so later, when they're on their way to maigu ridge, he tries to convince yqy that he must go with them. this is when yue qingyuan gets THIS CLOSE to locking him up in qiong ding hall.

now this is officially the only time yue qingyuan has done something remotely yandere-y adjacent. and not without reason! shen qingqiu died by self-detonation, then he returned after 5 years, then he was taken by a demon emperor, then he spent 5 days unconscious etc etc. he's admittedly very worried that shen qingqiu will die on him again, this time without a miraculous return. and the best thing? shen qingqiu doesn't know what to do. he didn't know whether to reach with his sword or not, whether to fight yue qingyuan on this or not. he wants to listen to yue qingyuan, but he also wants to go save the world.

and EVEN when he's finally allowed to go to Luo River, he hesitates again when he notices yue qingyuan may be struggling!

number sixteen

the reveal at maigu ridge's scene is really long, quoting it all would be a complete nightmare. so i'll just tell you to go read it because it reiterates some of the things i've already pointed out:

-shen qingqiu worrying about yue qingyuan

Thinking he was fine, Shen Qingqiu let go, but once he did, Yue Qingyuan didn’t remain standing for long before he unexpectedly collapsed again. Shen Qingqiu blanched with shock, then hurried to help him up again. “Zhangmen-shixiong? Zhangmen-shixiong?” After a brief examination, even with his superficial medical knowledge, he could tell that Yue Qingyuan’s current condition was horrible.

-shen qingqiu feeling guilty for causing yue qingyuan trouble

-shen qingqiu almost crying because of qijiu's tragic story and because it breaks his heart seeing yue qingyuan like this

number seventeen

i pointed out earlier that shen qingqiu idolizes yue qingyuan, and this is the first time he sees him so weak, which understandably makes him panic a lot. shen qingqiu thinks yue qingyuan is being talkative because he's dying, but shen qingqiu is having none of it

sobs shen qingqiu is so desperate to keep him alive.

+ bonus 3: yet again shen qingqiu's heart breaking for yue qingyuan

number eighteen

shen qingqiu, post-maigu ridge, wakes up, and upon remembering that he'd left zhangmen-shixiong in a pretty bad situation, he runs out of the lingxi caves in a panic.

you don't know how much this scene makes me feel

like, the moment luo binghe is out of the picture, yue qingyuan's safety becomes his main worry

then when he finally sees him, he's so happy that yqy is fine!

number nineteen: the goodbye scene

But even though he was the sect leader, Yue Qingyuan didn’t go with them. Instead, he stood in place, silently staring at Shen Qingqiu. For some reason, it became comparatively more awkward. As if testing the waters, Yue Qingyuan said, “Xiao-Jiu…” “Shixiong,” said Shen Qingqiu, “it’s Qingqiu.” Even though it would be too difficult to tell Yue Qingyuan the truth, Shen Qingqiu still hoped he could demonstrate the difference in other ways. Yue Qingyuan was stunned for a bit, then gave a small smile. “It’s Qingqiu. Qingqiu-shidi.”

i think this is the first time they've ever been awkward with each other. shen qingqiu says it would be difficult to tell him the truth, whether because the system won't allow him or because it'd be emotionally stressful for him to do so we don't know; but he still wants to mark the difference between the original and himself anyway, because he doesn't want to deceive yue qingyuan.

“What are your plans for the future?” asked Yue Qingyuan. “I have no plans for the time being,” said Shen Qingqiu. “First I’ll wait for Luo Binghe to return and see how he’s doing.” Yue Qingyuan smiled. “You truly adore that disciple.” Shen Qingqiu was searching for a way to answer when Yue Qingyuan said, “Shidi, Cang Qiong Mountain will forever be a place to which you can return whenever you tire of wandering the outside world.” These words were said with utmost sincerity and solemnity. Yue Qingyuan had always been this way. Whatever he promised, he would definitely deliver. And what he couldn’t deliver, he would endeavor to make up for, no matter the cost.

after learning of his past, after all that's happened, shen qingqiu's admiration remains unwavering. their relationship has become more complicated on account of the ghost that haunts it, but if anything, shen qingqiu's feelings for yue qingyuan have only deepened with this new understanding.

After assuming the role of this novel character, Shen Qingqiu had always refused to become the scum villain from the original work. He’d drawn a clear boundary between them and taken great pride in walking the opposite path. So never before had he felt such a powerful and impulsive thought: If only he really were Shen Jiu. If only that person could really hear these words.

but his heart still breaks for yue qingyuan and shen jiu and what they have lost.

[Luo Binghe] stood utterly alone, without a single person beside him. When the people walking past saw his face, their own faces filled with all sorts of expressions. Shen Qingqiu involuntarily ran forward a couple of steps, then turned his head to look at the person behind him. “Go on,” said Yue Qingyuan. He stood behind Shen Qingqiu, silent and with good grace. It was as if one was the past and the other the future.

this is the last interaction between shen qingqiu and yue qingyuan in the main novel. before leaving with luo binghe, he turns back and silently asks for yue qingyuan's permission, his approval.

it's like getting your family's blessing before running off with your paramour.

this is yue qingyuan to shen qingqiu: the person that stood by his side from the moment he was reborn into the world of proud immortal demon way, the steadfast, strong and reliable older brother that gave him a family and a place to call his, that has fought for and defended him against all his enemies to the detriment of his own reputation. shen qingqiu respects, admires and will try to do what yue qingyuan says, because he's the only authority figure shen qingqiu recognizes in this life. even if yue qingyuan's care was born out of his feelings for shen jiu, shen qingqiu can't stop caring for him, being grateful for his presence and the comfort it gave him throughout all these years. even after learning the truth, his only regret is that he can't bring shen jiu back so yue qingyuan and him can get some closure.

that's love, my dudes.

[yoizgirlie]

LOVE ME TOO.

in which your whole life you waited for rin itoshi to love you back, but when he leaves you his brother comes into scene

word count: 4k

warnings: angst, f!reader, brief mention of suicide, some swearing i think, nswf parts but nothing too explicit

(au in which blue lock doesn't exist)

sorry for eventual mistakes, i'm not a native english speaker. this was written at 2am and it was definitely not proofread :))

their mother always joked saying you were destined to marry one of her sons. to her, it wasn't clear which one, but to you it could only ever be your dark-haired best friend.

yes, you were rin itoshi's best friend: you were regarded of the honor to be called his "friend". every friday evening, as if it was an appointment, you sat at the dinner table of the itoshi house. every friday, since you were fourteen, rin, sae and their mother would chat and talk about whatever things with you.

well, sae didn't talk that much - with anyone, actually, but rin's mother considered you a treasure, and a "saint for being able to stand rin 24/7", and while putting on a grumpy expression whenever she said that, rin thought that of you too.

he was grateful that you would spend the night at his house at any given opportunity, even when you turned sixteen and people didn't see it as 'appropriate' anymore, that you would sit with him at lunch when no one else wanted to, that you would help him train even if you couldn't hold a ball for more than two seconds without making it fall on the ground.

he had no idea. of how everything you did with him, was because your heart burnt with hopeless love. because everytime you looked at him you felt like you could have spent the rest of your life with yours tied to his, like you would have stabbed yourself to have just one faint touch of his lips onto yours.

but he didn't notice, even when you turned seventeen and he should have been more mature, more considerate of these things. that's what you thought when your friend, one of your girl classmates, told you it's crystal clear to anyone that you were head over heels for itoshi rin.

then how, you told yourself, how is he the only one who's blind in front of such supposed evidence?

there were times, like when you were watching a movie on his bed, sitting so close to each other you could hear his heartbeat into your ears and you felt like dying, or when you couldn't bear with the amount of school work you had and he hugged you while you cried on his shoulder, or when he would hold your hand with so much kindness and thoughtfullness that you would think it'd be impossible for him not to reciprocate your feelings, or at least acknowledge their existence.

but months passed by and you kept sticking together, just as "buddies", hugging and play-fighting and holding hands but just as friends. you felt your heart like a flower that was slowly withering, despite this you kept holding on to that faint hope that one day maybe, maybe, he could finally watch you with eyes filled with love. just like your own eyes did when you were together.

so, when you were nineteen ("we're elders now, rin! don't you feel old?) and your high school class organized a goodbye party with lots of alcohol and smoke and even drugs ("fuck we're going there, i won't let you walk around with all that weed around" "come ooon rin, you're no fun!"), and the bottle landed right on the both of you, heads blurred by the drinks, your heart did a backflip in your chest. you weren't really present at that moment, and rin mustn't have been either, because you leaned into a passionate make out session, not just a kiss.

step by step, while your classmates laughed and cheered, rin placed a hand on your esposed skin on your hip and guided you to a random bedroom, forgetting where and who you were with.

he really didn't know what he was doing, and you didn't either. it must have been the alcohol for rin, but can he really blame it all on the drinks?

things went how they had to go, and you found yourself awake the next morning, fully naked, next to the dark-haired boy. you almost cried of joy. because you waited all your life to see him lay on your side, sheets covering his naked body, a peaceful resting expression on his pretty face. you felt like if they killed you right then, you would've died happier than ever.

that's why, when he breaks the news to you, after weeks of not saying a word of what you two had spent together, you feel your world being ripped apart.

he's heading off to france. tomorrow. to play with a football team in paris.

"it's the opportunity of my life," he tells you, excitement filling his teal eyes, "i can't miss it for absolutely no reason."

you're included in those reasons, you guess. and as you simply nod, you sense a boulder weighing in your lungs and in your stomach and in your heart. because for you, he would be an enough reason to stay in japan. but evidently, to rin you didn't mean as much as you thought.

with watering eyes, you leave his house with a weak goodbye falling from your trembling lips, leaving him all alone in his room.

the next day, you're not at the airport to greet him.

-♡-

even after a couple of years though, you didn't fall apart as you expected the two of you to. you still hold a grudge at him for leaving you on your own in japan like you were just someone and not his best friend – if you could still call yourselves that after whatever had happened. it's been three years since rin left to play for paris' football club, and now his name is known in all of france, topping every chart in the french league, while you keep studying at university.

you are so proud of him. you talk to him via message every time he plays, congratulating your best friend.

is he really still your best friend though? yes, you still contact each other almost every day, but now he feels so cold and distant, like a shadow you struggle to touch from afar. you feel like rin is making his own life in france, with you not being on the picture.

does he have the same feelings for you as he used to? does he even miss you?

you guess he can be called your first heartbreak, your one and only.

you snork painfully as you think this, looking at the goodnight text you sent him the night before. he hasn't read it. you're walking along the familiar sidewalk, heading for the itoshi house.

you don't actually want to go visit rin's mother, but your mom insisted that you would bring her a few cookies you had cooked the other day. she said it was to thank her for everytime she hosted you at hers, and while you agree, you don't feel like going back to your lost crush's house is going to benefit you, y'know?

oh, if you are wrong.

you understand immediatly that the quick visit you are planning to make will take an unexpected turn when you see sae itoshi sitting on the sofa, legs wide open and an arm on the handrest holding his chin. damn, you haven't seen him in so long! you and rin were barely teens when he flied to spain to pursue his football career. in fact, you realize, after spending all that time at rin's house, you don't know him at all.

embarassment floods over you. you greet him, a little afraid, because just like his younger brother, sae itoshi is able to send chills down with his coldness. before greeting back, sae looks at you from top to bottom, and you're sure he's thinking just the same you're thinking of him. you have changed.

that day, you discover him. to you, before, sae was just rin's older brother, a shadow that was at your best friend's home and that every once in a while came into his room to ask him something, or to complain about you two making too much chaos. to be completely honest, back then you found him annoying and too full of himself, like he considered himself too good to talk to people. his poker face never changed, and that proved your point: he was your best friend's arrogant older brother.

until today, you had never properly spoke to sae. you mostly asked him where something was or if he had seen rin, and he answered not moving his eyes away from his phone. today, though, you talk to him until it's late at night. you don't talk about important things, it's purely chatting; even so, you can't help but feel captivated by sae. you find out he's back in japan but only for a few months, because there's no championship in summer, and since he doesn't own a house here his mother was glad to host him.

when you're back in your room, under the covers, you rethink of how, that afternoon, you were able to make a soft chuckle come out of his lips. you feel a bubble pop inside your stomach as you replay that moment in your head, and you feel like you want to make him laugh again.

and you do. because from that day, you gradually come to the point in which you spend every free moment you have with the red-haired. may it be at his house, at yours, in his car, at a fast food, wherever and whenever, you can't stay away from him.

he attracts you, like rin did. sometimes you look into sae's eyes and it scares how much he reminds you of rin.

but sae is different. when you are with him, you feel like you're pulled into a warm hug, like you're a bird in its nest. for some reason, sae feels to you like the matching piece of your puzzle. with rin, you always had disagreements and you were different from each other. sae, on the other hand, is similar to you in almost every shape, and while he may look cold he acts like the kindest person on earth when he's with you.

you like it. how he shows his emotional side to you and you only, making you feel special. rin couldn't do that, he didn't make you feel unique and important.

sae has never felt what he feels right now towards anyone. you're the first person able to make his cheeks warm up, or to make his mouth dry. he only ever thinks about you, to the point where he's worried about his well-being; he lives exclusively to see your pretty face, with your shining eyes and your rich lips and your silky hair.

you brought a ray of sunshine into his monotone life. every moment he passes with you feels like a drug to him; he remembers every single one of them.

like the time you told him you didn't like your name at all, and he told you he thought it was the prettiest while looking straight into your eyes, but he wasn't completely talking about the name. or when, laying on his bed, things got pretty emotional and you were confessing things to the each other and you told him under you breath how you lost your virginity to his little brother and that you missed him like crazy. in that moment, he found himself getting mad at rin for treating you like you were a puppy, but also because he got to be with you and sae didn't. or once you played together with his playstation at fifa and he beat you like 7-1, but when you scored that single goal you raised your hands in the air and made the cutest expression, then you hugged him really thightly and he felt every cell in his body heat up.

you get used to his presence, surprisingly in a few months he becomes more meaningful to you than rin has in many years. sae showed you that the kind of love you had for his brother isn't the only one to exist – the one you felt for rin was a fire ready to burn yourself and him, consuming you from inside, needy and endless, while your feelings for sae are a drop of rain that slowly falls into a vase, making the most beautiful flower grow. his love heals the scars rin left you.

the dark-haired boy reaches out to you much less frequentely now, and when he does it's just to check on each other, no big deal. your friendship is frozen now. he probably has no idea you and his older brother are estabilishing this kind of relationship, though.

sometimes you feel guilty for having loved two brothers, like you are playing around with them. but everytime you reflect on it, you come to the conclusion you can't decide who you fall in love with. sae and rin have been two periods of your life, each useful for what you needed at the time. but sae is the present.

you're aware, though, that the idilliac present you're sharing with him is rapidly coming to an end: it's august, and the spanish league restarts in a short time.

you refuse to believe the boy you fell in love with is leaving you alone – once again. while you know he won't completely abandon you and will probably facetime every evening, you are absolutely not ready to experience the same things you once did. the emptiness into your chest, the uselessness of days without his presence, the constant thoughts in your head that tell you to just stop living like this, to stop living.

you know you can tell sae anything, so you talk about it with him. it's a rainy night and you agreed to stay at his place to "hang out". when you tell him your fears, he feels the urge to protect you. seeing you so shaky and vulnerable makes sae want to hold you in his arms and never ever let anyone hurt you again – may it even be his own brother. may it even be himself.

so he cups your cheeks in his hands and looks you straight into your eyes, promising you slowly he will never leave you alone. he promises it.

he's so close to you you can feel his breath on your face, but he's close to your soul too. you feel your hearts united, tied with a string, for the first time since you've met him. and even though you've only known sae for a couple months, even though he'll leave japan soon, even though it could be wrong in someone else's eyes, you close the distance between you two and press your lips on his.

sae reacts slowly, softly, pulling you closer to him with an hand on your back as if he's afraid of hurting you. the kiss you share is sweet, tender, full of all the feelings the two of you felt during this summer. you're like two butterflies embrassingly colliding.

sae stops only to look at you, once again, in the eyes. he loves looking into your eyes, but he certainly loves you more. so he tells you. so you tell him you do too.

his eyes don't leave yours even when, a few days later, you're laying on his bed, back arching with pleasure as you two consume your relationship for the first time. sae's gaze stays chained to your shining eyes, because he's afraid that if he'll look away all of this will disappear in front of him. like this is all an amazing dream and if he blinks, he'll wake up.

it's not a dream though, and he realizes this is very much reality when you're sitting next to sae on the plane, flying to madrid. sae's hand is intertwined with yours, because you've never been on a plane and this shit is scary.

you've never left japan. and now, not only you're leaving everything you've known in your life behind your back, but you're also doing that with a boy you've known for barely three months.

yes, it may look like a risky choice, but it would have been way worse for the both of you if sae had gone back to madrid on his own. you've known each other for a short period of time, it's true, but you felt like you've loved each other since ever.

since rin left you, you understood life is too fleety to let opportunities pass past you. so once you saw sae handing over to you a chance of starting over, you caught it with both hands.

and here you are, standing in the most beautiful and luxurious apartment you've ever seen. you think what they pay sae per month is more than you would ever earn in a whole life.

as you admire the view of the spanish city from the house's window, sae places his hands around your waist and sinks his head in the crease of your neck. his hair tickles you, but you stay like this for moments that seem like hours, just the two of you, floating in your own ocean.

as weeks go by, you start to enter the rhythm of sae's life. he trains everyday, from morning to late afternoon, so you barely see him during the day. he doesn't ever make you feel neglected though, as every moment he is not training he turns all his attention to you, cuddling, playing, watching tv, eating together.

you insert in the busy life of the capital of spain too. you explore every single corner of the city, shopping from the most expensive shops you've heard (yes, with your boyfriend's credit card).

sae always invites you to his matches, making you sit in the vip section of the stadium. you have to stay there with other players' partners, and you don't really like them. they seem a little too fake to you.

but it doesn't matter; you can stand sitting next to the most irritating girl in the world if that means watching your lover play.

you coming to see him play means a lot to sae, too. when he notices you in the crowd, he suddendly feels like he's invincible. he starts to play with the heart, and people notice that. fans notice his playstyle has changed over the summer, but they cannot explain why. they can't explain why he lives football with much more enthusiasm now either. for example, he even celebrates scoring a goal now! he runs all the way down the pitch and points at something, or someone, in the stands. it's not clear what he's pointing at.

the someone always blushes, but nobody sees her.

-♡-

not much distant from there, rin itoshi is not living so well.

the boy hasn't heard from you since months. normally, you wouldn't let a few weeks pass by without texting him. rin doesn't know why, but he feels so empty.

he'd text you, he'd really do, if it wasn't for his stupid massive ego. he doesn't want to admit that he actually has the need to talk to you, and that you're hurting him with your silence.

he finds out from your instagram that you've moved to madrid, out of nowhere appearently. but you haven't told him, he found out on his own.

for all these years, you've always been the first to out to him, and it made him feel safe knowing that you still thought about him. he's selfish, he knows it, but you're the only fixed point in his life. the only thing he's sure will never leave, even if he acts like the disgusting person he is.

but now? rin's never felt you more distant. and he knows it's all his fault, he knows you should've done that ages before, but now that the actual consequences of his actions are starting to come to light, he feels guilt investing him.

throughout the teenage years you spent together, the boy has always been confused about his feelings. he couldn't tell whether what he felt towards you was platonic or actual love. he knew about your love for him, but he didn't feel like he could give you what you needed even if he wanted to. so, during the infamous party, rin tried to shut his brain off and that led him to sleep with you. and then, he was so overwhelmed by the immensity of what was happening with you he couldn't think of a rational solution. he did like you, but his future was already planned: he was going abroad to play football, become the best football player in the world, surpass even his brother, and then retire in an isolated, luxurious island. as much as he liked you, rin knows you have no place in a life like this; he didn't want you to suffer like he did when sae left to spain, therefore he decided to be as cold as he could to you. this way, you wouldn't have missed him that much.

at least that's what his messed up mind thought. now he realizes what he did was the dumbest move ever made by a person, and remorse fills him.

should he have told you that he actually liked you that night? that he was just afraid of engaging in something too big for him? should he have left you like that?

rin's mind is filled with whats and ifs. all he can think of are the past moments he spent with you, and how he should have made them last longer.

is this what it feels to miss someone? rin thinks to himself, wide awake at night. he rarely sleeps, as the regrets and overthinking keep him awake, and it's worsening his results in football.

nothing could go more wrong in his existence.

one day, he just gets tired of it. rin decides it's time to take control of his life, so he just dives into the next mistake – or maybe the next success.

"hey, book me a flight for madrid"

-♡-

in madrid, there's a couple sitting on a lonely bench. there's no one in sight, it's just the two of them. they're hugging, kissing, they're whispering honey-like words into each other's eyes.

everytime you tell yourself that couple is you and your boyfriend, you get surprised. because there's no way you're actually with the sae itoshi. he feels so much like a dream to you.

even if you're not the best football player in the world or whatever, you feel to sae just the same.

so there you are, immersed in your shared dream, under the sunset that makes sae's cheeks turn even more red. the breeze messes up all his hair, he's so cute you want to die. you pinch his puffed cheeks, making him complain saying he's not a baby, but you just hug him thighter and mutter on his hoodie you're really hungry for ice cream.

sae takes your hand and makes you stand up, telling you you're heading for the closest ice cream shop. you give him a kiss on the cheek out of happiness and start walking with him.

but as you walk, you freeze at the sight of an old acquaintance.

destiny sure is cruel, isn't it? it separates two people whose lives were supposed to be tied together only to make them meet again in the worst time. that's all you can think while you look into the teal eyes you used to love so much.

rin is standing right in front of you. after years of half-conversations and silence, he's standing right in front of you.

your jaw drops instinctively. the corners of rin's mouth turn up, warming you with an overly familiar smile. that smile brings to the surface thoughts and feeling you had buried years ago. you don't want those feelings to see daylight, not when your boyfriend is standing right next to you, unsure on his legs.

sae has always been certain of one thing: he can surpass rin in everything. but now, as he senses your grip on his hand loosen, he feels the world as he's always known it crumble under his feet.

[sweetbbyshion]

Breakup

-> Touya Todoroki x Reader

characters: Touya Todoroki (Dabi), Shoto Todoroki

genre: a tiny bit of angst but mainly fluff

summary: you and touya breakup. his little brother isn't very happy about it.

warnings: established relationship (between dabi and the reader), breakups, happy ending though, this is set on an alternative reality where quirks aren't a thing and the todorokis are trying to be a better family.

another part of this series (you don't have to read it to understand this

I do want to write more scenarios with bf!touya and shoto being close to the reader. If you have any scenario you want to see, my requests are open

Dabi breaks up with you on a random day before summer vacation, just before your six month anniversary. You don't get an explanation even after you screamed and cried to get a reason why. Dabi simply kept looking at you while you tried to hit him for breaking your heart with no care in the world.

A week later, his mom calls you. She talks excitedly about all the plans for the summer and you break down crying once again. You hate Touya even more for not telling his family about what happened and letting you deal with it all alone. Surprisingly, Rei still asks you to visit but you tell her you're not sure you can do it. You hear the sadness in her voice and you hear Shoto asking if he can talk to you but you hang up before he has the chance to get the phone.

That family took you in like their own and you couldn't be more grateful but breaking up with Dabi meant you couldn't afford to be in that family anymore. So, you do your best to ignore Shoto’s texts for the next couple of days. You don't hear from Dabi in the meantime and you feel, for the first time since the break up, that maybe you will be ok.

For some reason, the gods are against you and Shoto shows up at your door on a wednesday night, completely alone.

“Does your mom know where you are?” You ask, after rushing him inside and preparing some food for the boy.

“Not really. I had to take extreme measures. No one wanted to tell me why you didn't visit anymore.”

You're not even sure how the kid managed to get to your house. You sigh, reaching for your phone to text Rei about her youngest’s whereabouts. You feel his intense eyes on you; Shoto always looked at people like he could see their deepest secrets. He was observant of those he cared about. You turn your back to him and go clean the dishes used to cook, trying to push back the talk you needed to have with him. Maybe if you stalled long enough, Rei would arrive and you won't have to do it.

“Did my brother do anything?” The fork slips from your hand at the sudden question.

“Of course not. I’m just… busy.”

It was a bad lie and even Shoto could tell it wasn't the truth. But what were you supposed to tell him? You couldn't just say his brother was a huge dick that broke your heart with no explanation and then just ghosted and left you to deal with the aftermath of his decisions. Shoto looked up to Touya, you couldn't paint him as the bad guy - even if you wanted to talk shit about him to anyone who was willing to listen.

You turn to Shoto and give your best smile, “How about you finish eating and then go watch something on the TV? I’m sure your mom will be here soon.”

The youngest Todoroki stays silent for the rest of the time. You take as long as possible cleaning everything and, luckily, the doorbell rings as soon as you sit on the couch. Shoto is the one getting up to open the door, you follow him right after to apologize to Rei for any inconvenience. You open the door with an apology on your tongue that disappears as soon as you see your ex boyfriend standing there.

“What are you doing here?” You talk, venom coating your words.

“Came to pick up the brat. Let's go, Shoto.”

The smaller boy looks at his brother and then you, obviously sensing the thick tension in the room. “I don't want to go.”

“What do you mean you don't want to go? Just get in the car, mom was worried sick about you.”

Shoto moves to stand behind you, a small pout on his lips as he refuses to go with his older brother. You try to convince him, “You can spend the day some other time if your mom allows it” but Touya is quick to shut off the idea. You stare at the man that was once your lover but he doesn't keep eye contact with you, instead looking at his brother with a stern look.

“You're not together anymore?” The look on your face is enough to give him an answer. “Why? I thought you liked each other?”

“Shoto…” you start, “Sometimes people aren't meant to be together. It happens all the time. People… fall out of love, or something? You’ll understand when you're older.” You wanted to give him a better explanation but how could you when you didn't know it yourself? Shoto looks confused but you simply smile and push him towards his brother. “It's late. You should go, ok?”

The boy simply nods and walks out, Touya following him right after. You close the door before resting your back against it. It hurt seeing Touya again. It hurt even more to cut ties with such a young boy that you learned to love like your own brother.

You wipe away the tear that stubbornly fell and walk away from the door. However, you only take three steps before a harsh knock is heard. You look around the room to see if there's anything Shoto might have forgotten.

“I didn't fall out of love.” is the first thing you hear when you open the door. “I could never fall out of love with you.”

“Then why?” your voice is no louder than a whisper.

“Because I love you too much.” The look of confusion in your face is enough to make him keep going. “I was such a shitty boyfriend sometimes, you deserved better.”

“That's the shittiest excuse I’ve ever heard!”

“I know!” He interrupts you. “What I mean is that I’m fucked up. I ghost you over small things and I punch walls whenever I’m mad. I need serious therapy, I swear.” you have to hold back a laugh, not wanting to ruin the serious conversation. “I don't want to hurt you.”

Your expression softens when you feel Dabi’s hand touching yours. “You would never hurt me.”

“I’m my dad’s son. It's a matter of time until I do.”

You shake your head quickly, tightening your hold on his hand. “You’re not your dad.” you whisper. “You're a good person, Touya. You remind Fuyumi to take care of herself all the time, you help Natsuo with homework even if he knows the answers just because you want to spend time with him. Not to talk about how you're always calling your mom because you don't want to leave her alone ever again.” your hands move to his cheeks, forcing him to look at you. “And you’re Shoto’s role model. He looks up to you, he wants to be strong and smart like you.”

“That doesn't mean anything.”

“It does!” you lightly caress his cheeks. Those pretty blue eyes stare intensely at you as you keep walking, “It means you care about them and would never hurt them. Just like you would never hurt me.”

Touya grips on your shirt while pulling you closer. “But I did hurt you. You have been crying.”

“Then be with me and never make me cry again.” you plead. “We will get you help and I will be with you every step of the way.”

Touya hugs you and you melt into his arms, feeling like you just got home after a long day. You breathe in his familiar cologne and play with the hair on the back of his neck, missing the soft locks between your fingers. “Stay the night.” you whisper. Touya simply hums, tightening his hold around you and you sigh happily with the thought of finally sleeping well with the cozy man you missed so much.

You feel another pair of arms trying to wrap around you and you look down to find a smiling Shoto trying to wriggle his way in between the two adults. Even Touya doesn't have the heart to tell him you're having a moment and instead he puts an arm around his brother.

“Can I stay too?” You laugh at the request and nod, earning you a squeeze from Shoto that quickly asks “Can I sleep in your bed too?” The look in Shoto’s eyes tells you that he’s only saying this to annoy his older brothers.

“Wow little guy, back off from my girl will ya?” Touya argues, pinching the smaller one’s cheek.

Your heart warms with the interaction and, even though you knew you missed this, you didn't have an idea of how much until now.

Despite the protests, Touya forces Shoto to sleep on the “very comfortable couch”. He picks him up and almost throws him there, then tucking him in with the fluffy blanket you had on the couch. Shoto tries to wriggle out of the tight hold Touya has on him but to no avail. Touya kisses his forehead multiple times to annoy the younger boy before leaving him alone.

“Will you be ok here? You can sleep with us in the room if you want.” you decide to ask Shoto. He simply shakes his head and promises he will be fine there. “Sleep well.”

With that, Touya drags you to your room and finally kisses you. You missed the way his lips feel against yours and how he caresses your back during the kiss. Your breakup was just a horrible case of lack of communication and you hope in the future this doesn't happen again.

You let Touya pull you to bed and cuddle you. You fall asleep almost instantly and you don't think you have slept that well since the breakup.

You and Touya decide that the next day you will have a serious conversation. But for now, you just enjoy each other's company.

[milla-frenchy]

Fav Joel series

All of them are 18+ and nsfw

Please check for each fic all the warnings indicated by the author

Summaries are those written by the authors

Raider Joel @toxicanonymity

You think Joel is saving you from the bad guys, but he's claiming you for himself. You're his now, and he won't let you or his men forget it. How long until Stockholm syndrome sets in? Will his persona start to crack?

Slasher Joel @toxicanonymity

He's a tow truck driver and you're stranded. You're already DTF but end up fucking for your life when you offend him.

Night walks @toxicanonymity

Joel, an older neighbor you've been walking with late at night, asks you into his basement to sell him weed but not really. You can't stop fucking him after that.

Carnal @pascalsbby

You thought you had it all figured out before him. Animals. Tender, primal flesh. That’s what we are at the end of the day, no? Fucking, testing one another and then eating each other alive, heart first. Maybe the heart is the sweetest part of the body- or maybe it’s just the easiest to get to. You knew you wanted to be completely devoured by him. You wanted to fill the space between his teeth.

Dom!Joel @atticrissfinch

The wrong number that texts you ends up being a man much hotter than you’d ever expect…

⭐ Meet me in the back @atticrissfinch

When the gas station clerk refuses to sell you alcohol after a shitty day, you need to get creative

I know it when I see it @bageldaddy

It's the golden age of porn. sex and sin are the national pastime. Your career in adult films starts opposite a man who goes by the name texas.

I can be your pretty girl @walkintotheriveranddisappear

After your bodily insecurities stop you from exploring your sexuality, your dad's best friend offers to help you gain some confidence and help prepare you for experiences with men. as things progress with joel, you realize he's taking advantage of you, but that doesn't stop you from having a good time, too.

Online friends @walkintotheriveranddisappear

Hot single dilfs in your area want to chat, and you're more than willing to comply (anonymous sex chatting with joel)

Something wretched about this @covetyou

Your father has been medicating his long term illness for as long as you can remember, and he'd always been grateful to find medication suppliers even after the world went to shit. When he can't pay up, what lengths will you go to to protect your entire world?

Ravish @psychedelic-ink

Joel, only now starting to feel the impending sense of loneliness, decides to listen to Tommy and sign up on an online streaming service called Ravish.

Ghost of you @thetriumphantpanda

Grief is a strange thing. In the beginning it had been all-consuming. There wasn’t a moment of the day where you didn’t cry, didn’t ask yourself why it couldn’t have been you instead. And no-one ever explains the guilt you feel when it isn’t anymore. When it’s just a dull ache and you can finally breathe again, when you can start letting people get close to you again. People like Joel Miller. 

Trial & error @thetriumphantpanda

Tommy has always been the loyal and doting boyfriend, the literal man of your dreams. Ready to take things to the next step, you soon find that Tommy is unable to have children. A family is all you’ve ever wanted, and neither of you are going to let this get in your way. Enter Joel, dark and mysterious and willing to do anything for his little brother, including fucking his girlfriend to get her pregnant. That’s what brothers are for, right?

Come away with me @thetriumphantpanda

Four years have passed and you’ve managed to raise a beautiful baby boy into a sweet little boy. Four years of one night with Joel Miller and countless others with his brother. You’ve been trying for months now for your second baby and it’s proving much more difficult than first time around, so Joel has a plan. One week, alone, on the lake, with one goal - another baby.

A lover's pinch @hier--soir

A one-night stand with a charming texan turns into something much more thrilling when you discover he is your new college professor. joel miller is entirely off limits. but now that you’ve had a taste, will you be able to keep your hands to yourselves?

You summer dream @swiftispunk

Fresh on the heels of the worst breakup of your life, you find an unexpected kindred spirit in joel miller, who's agreed to tag along for seven days to a tropical resort with you and your parents.

Lost in the dark @iamasaddie

One time you decide to cheat on your boyfriend is, of course, the time his dad catches you. Once normal relationship turns into something new, and you are forced to face the fucked up reality of your life

Hard to be soft, tough to be tender @iamasaddie

Desperation was never a good advisor, and yours led to find yourself as a very special person among Joel Miller's birds. You'll have to see for yourself if you have what it takes to live up to the status, and in the meantime Joel will "train" you and take care of you. // Joel Miller is a pimp and you are at your all time low, that's it.

Feelings on fire @joelscruff

You're back from college for the summer, staying with your devout catholic parents in your childhood home while they order you around and try to keep authority over you. as an act of rebellion you ask your new neighbor mr. miller to teach you how to play guitar, but it turns out there's a lot more he wants to teach you.

With pleasured hands @magpiepills

You’re Tommy Miller’s girlfriend, you’re on vacation with him and Joel, Tommy likes it when you’ve got an audience, Joel prefers being an active participant

Bullet for you darlin' @kewwrites - Dead dove do not eat

Joel takes something a little more personal from you after you run out of things to trade

Sunshine @kewwrites - Dead dove do not eat

A look at the innocent relationship between Sunshine and Joel till one night something changes the course of their relationship forever. 'Loss and heartbreak often turn the best of us into our worst selves.'

⭐ latest series added (11/18/2023)

HUGE thank you to all the authors 🙏🙏🙏

Fics recs

[lostonehero]

I'm late to mermay, but well, uh, no excuses have Siren! Martin doing such a great job in the archives.

Tim loved going to the ocean. He loved the water in general, and when Danny was still with him, he would try and fail to convince him to try to go with him during the winter. Danny always quoted old legends, but Tim didn't believe in them. Well, he does now, but that's besides the point.

The reason Tim believes is the 6ft5inch man in his apartment who is technically his husband or mate in his words. Of course, this happened years ago he's now a much more jaded man. He works for the insistute now trying to get answers for his brother, and somehow, his husband works there too. He really doesn't understand how he lied about everything on his CV.

"Tim?" A male voice pulls Tim out of his thoughts. "Should I wear this one or this one? We work together now in the archives, and you don't want me to match you."

"The blue one is fine, Martin." Tim smiles softly. Martin wasn't human, and he's honestly surprised nobody has figured it out. He's also grateful for the face that he's his husband, even if he keeps it secret.

"Are you sure? You want our mate bond to be kept secret. I don't know if they can smell it.... I should wear one from the dryer." Martin sighs.

Tim chuckles. "Just because I wore that to bed doesn't mean you can't wear it. We humans don't have the same abilities as you guys."

"Yeah, but I don't know if everyone there is human." Martin huffs.

They have this argument about once a week, which is fine. It's better than the raw meat debate. Tim smiles softly. "Alright, alright, won't wear your jumpers anymore."

Martin huffs. "I didn't say that! You always do this."

Tim chuckles. "Maybe I like seeing you riled up. Seriously though, it's fine as long as we don't arrive at the same time." They've been together years at this point, so they both know when they are joking.

"I know the drill, Tim." Martin sighs. "Can we share the same bed tonight?"

"I'm not sleeping in the tub with you again it took weeks for my skin to heal, and before you suggest it no I'm not going in the ocean either we were both incredibly late to work." Tim raised his brow and pauses. "Oh wait, you meant my bed."

Martin rolls his eyes. "Forget I asked."

"No, wait, yes." Tim moves closer to Martin. "Then I don't have to wear things that smell like you."

Martin smiles. "You're already my mate. You do not need to scent yourself of me."

"What if I want to?"

"I suppose that can be arranged."

......

Sasha rolled her chair closer to Tim. "So Jon totally has a crush on Martin. I was talking to his ex, and she totally agrees. How about a wager? I mean, Martin is totally into him. Have you seen how aggressive he is about taking care of Jon?"

Tim chokes on his tea. "W-what?" He wipes off the mess the best he could. "Sasha, he's that way to everyone."

"Not you, and nowhere near that way to me or anyone else in this building. Besides, the timing is perfect. We have that mandatory institute day out on the beach. Sure, we're picking up trash and sending flyers out about the institute, but there's also games and food. We can totally set them up." Sasha claps her hands together with a smile on her lips.

"No." Tim could feel that green eyed monster rear its ugly head. Danny always made fun of him because he insisted he felt nothing of their marriage. Danny was right, of course. He was about to out them, and he had to think of something. "No, I mean well, what are the stakes? Is Jon's ex going to be there?"

"Oooo, that could be even better." Sasha smirks. "She can help us, and she is bringing her girlfriend. Tim you're a genius."

Tim gave a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

......

Sasha pushed Martin and Jon together. "You two can start at one end, and Tim and I will start at the other. Then we'll meet up and get some American fair food they have."

Jon raised a brow. He was in a binder with a loose tank top above it and a pair of shorts. He was also in boots and long socks. "Ok? I don't understand why Elias has this to be mandatory."

Martin looked like he was about to growl and hiss. They were so close to the ocean that the instincts to take his mate to the ocean screamed at him. "Yeah, it's an odd choice."

Tim grits his teeth as Sasha pulls him away. He was still mostly human, well it was slowly changing but he was still mostly human but even he could feel the pull of the ocean he can't imagine how Martin feels.

......

Jon rubs his brow as he looks over to Martin, who is carrying about six full bags of trash without breaking a sweat. It was impressive and kind of depressing that there's that much trash. "Martin, we can stop and drop those off, we have a ways to go."

"Why?" Martin tilted his head in a way that Jon thought was adorable.

"Isn't it heavy?" Jon sighs he only had two half full bags since Martin keeps taking the full ones away from him.

"No, not really. Are you alright? Do you need more sunscreen? We are nearly done with our side." Martin puts the bags down and takes out a bottle of sunblock.

"I'm dark skinned Martin I don't need that much." Jon, let's out a noise of surprise since Martin already started to put on a fresh layer.

"Dark skin still burns." Martin is quick but thurough. "It's better to be safe."

Jon blushes a deep red. "I uh right, of course. Let us continue. We're almost done."

.....

Sasha and Tim waved from the start of the stands. "Took you guys long enough!" Sasha laughs.

Jon frowns. "Martin insisted I drink some water and put on another layer of sunscreen. However, we did collect the most trash."

Martin nods. "Yes! We found a big pile someone buried under the sand. Also your health is important."

Tim looked between them, and something clicked. The green eyed beast was dead, and Martin was treating Jon like a pod member who couldn't care for themselves. He did this before with Danny when he was really into extreme sports. He felt the tension drain from his shoulders. "How about some weird American food? Heard double boss man got some cool stuff like pickled lemonade, and fried oreos."

"Good lord, that sounds like a heart attack." Jon scoffs.

"I would like to try that. Sounds like a perfect hangover cure." Sasha chuckles.

.......

Martin somehow ended up on a cliffside. He loved watching the waves from this high up, Tim was behind him talking to Jon's ex, um Georgie was her name. It was very nice and he really wanted to jump.

"Pretty view." A old man was next to him. His white hair was wind swept back. "You can get lost in just how vast it is."

Martin nodded, not realizing he was moving forward until he was tumbling over the edge. Well, he wanted to do this anyway.

Tim did a double take before he started to run. "MARTIN!" He went over the edge as well, and he could swear he heard an old man laughing.

Georgie and Sasha ran to the edge. They saw Tim hanging on grabbing Martin on a ledge.

"Holy shit are you two ok?" Sasha stared down at them wide-eyed.

Tim huffs. "I know you're making that face. I'm not dropping you." He did not hear Sasha, but she can hear the two men.

"But Tim, the ocean! Pleaseeeee I wanna go with you." Martin huffs.

"No, Martin, you're going to out us!" Tim groans his grip was strong but not enough for their combined weight. "Grab onto a ledge! Use your damn claws."

"I will bite you." Martin holds his hand out and then slams it into the side of the cliff and lets go of Tim. "You owe me!"

"We can go swimming when it won't out us." Tim rolls his eyes and adjusts his grip with both hands. "Now focus, we need a way back up."

"I'm not helping you." Martin sticks his tongue out and climbs the clifside like he was a lizard and stops above Tim. "You're also banned until I see fit from taking my clothes."

"Seriously? We're literally hanging from a cliff." Tim huffs.

"You are. I am climbing." Martin kicks off his shoes then his socks. "Last chance."

Tim looks up at the two women staring at them, and of course, they see Martin sink his claws into stone. "Fine. Not because I want to, but because Sasha and Georgie already saw you sink your hands into the cliffside." He lets go of the cliffside and falls with his arms crossed.

Martin follows in a diving position.

Sasha and Georgie screamed.

......

"Now, Sasha, let's not be hasty." Elias hums, walking by the bottom of the cliffside. "You also said Martin pushed his hands into the cliffside."

"I'm sorry, Sasha, but he's right." Georgie frowns. "I believe in the weird, but that's like impossible, and to fall at that height."

"Well, I hope the supernatural exists." Jon mumbles. "They could survive the fall right?"

"Not likely, water becomes -" Elias is cut off by laughter.

"Martin! Bloody hell!" Tim said through laughter.

Martin was carrying Tim. They were walking out of the waves. "Oh, I love cliff diving. We should do that again!"

The four people stared at the two with jaws open.

[scarletqueenx]

chapter two - i miss you, i’m sorry

Dean Winchester x female oc

Summary: After experiencing an alternative life through the spell of a Djinn, Dean realizes that he is missing something in his life. He and Freya Holloway had been dating for a few months before his father disappeared and his journey with Sam began. Now, having made a deal to save his brother's life and with only a year to live, Dean considers reconnecting with the only girl he's ever had feelings for.

Author’s Note: this is my first time writing in tumblr. Also english is not my first lenguage.

series masterlist

Dean knew, from the state they had found her, that Freya was in serious condition. So waiting for the doctors to update them on her state was getting frustrating.

He couldn't ask about her either, as he wasn't her family. And if he showed his real concern, Henry and Peter would start to ask questions. Sam was trying to distract him, telling him about possible cases, but Dean was barely listening. He hadn't even been able to kill whoever or whatever had done this to his ex-girlfriend.

"Holloway?" The doctor's voice pronouncing her last name brought him out of his thoughts.

Henry quickly stood up, while Peter closed the comic book in his hands to pay attention to the doctor's explanation. Sam and Dean remained seated, listening closely.

"Yeah. Hi. It's me, I'm her father." Henry answered, approaching the doctor. "Is she okay?"

"Mr. Holloway. I'm doctor Ross." The man introduced himself, shaking his hand. "I am the one who took care of her." He explained. Henry nodded in silence. "She had a head concussion. But the CT came back negative. There is no sign of brain damage. She also has a couple of broken ribs and lost a lot of blood, so we've had to give her some transfusions. All of that said, we think she is going to be fine." Henry sighed with relief, while Dean felt how his breathing became normal again. Beside him, Peter could sense his relief, squinting his eyes at him in confusion. "She is still asleep. We're waiting for her to wake up, hopefully it won't be long. Everything seems normal. She's been lucky."

"Thank you, Doctor. Thank you so much." Henry said. "When will we be able to see her?"

"I will have a nurse take you. Although only family is allowed at the moment."

Dean was afraid he would say that, but a part of him already knew. He wanted to see her, but he also knew he had no right to.

"Guys, I haven't had a chance to thank you yet." Dean and Sam stood as Henry approached them. "I am very grateful that you found her. We both are, aren't we, Peter?"

"Yeah, of course." He nodded. Sam gave him a little smile. "Although I'm actually the one who found her."

"Peter."

"What? It's true."

"We're just happy she's okay." Sam interrupted their little discussion. Feeling secretly jealous of the father-son relationship the two seemed to have.

Henry smiled at him in appreciation.

"Do you think maybe we could see her?" Dean asked, drawing the man's attention. "To know what she can tell us about the thing that attacked her?" He quickly clarified.

"I'm sure she'll want to hunt it down herself." Henry answered.

"No. Yeah. Of course. But she's hurt, and that thing can still hurt people."

"Yeah, you're right." He admitted, thoughtfully. "When she wakes up I'll ask her. I'm sure she would like to thank you too."

"Thanks."

"In the meantime, you can go back to our house." Henry declared, pulling the keys out of his jacket and holding them out to Dean, who looked at them in confusion. "If she tells me anything I will let you know. It's late, you should rest."

His concern for them was rare for the Winchester brothers. Although deep down they appreciated it.

"You should take Peter with you. If it's no problem."

"No. It's okay." Dean answered.

"Wait, wait, wait." The boy exclaimed, looking up at his father. "No. I want to see Freya."

"Peter, it's late." He answered. "And you have school tomorrow."

"Do you seriously think I'm going to class after today?" He asked in disbelief. "Freya needs me by her side."

"Freya is in good hands." His father assured him, crouching down to be at his level. "The doctors will take care of her. I will take care of her."

"What if that thing comes after me?" He then asked.

"I doubt it. But if that's the case, that's what they're here for, isn't it? To hunt it down." He said, pointing to the Winchester brothers.

"Because they've been doing so well so far." He scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"Hey, cut the attitude." His father requested, frustrated. "They've come here to help without expecting anything in return. Be a little nice to them, okay? "

"Whatever."

Henry rose back up, giving Dean and Sam an apologetic look.

"Hey, kid." Dean called him. "How about a pizza? We can stop and get some on the way back to your house."

Peter narrowed his eyes at him.

"You're not buying me off with food. I'm not that easy." He assured him.

"Unlike you, Dean." Sam muttered with amusement.

"Shut up." He answered, but Sam keeps an amused smile on his lips.

"All right. I'll go with you." Peter finally accepted with a sigh. "But I won't go to class tomorrow. I want to be with Freya." He looked back up to his father.

"We'll talk about it later." He answered him. "Thanks guys."

"Yeah, no problem."

Peter didn't went to school the next day. When he woke up, his father still hadn't come home. Henry had spent the night in the hospital, in an uncomfortable chair next to his daughter's bed, waiting for her to wake up.

That morning Dean had been the first to get up after sleeping only a few hours. As the younger Holloway went into their home kitchen, Sam was reading on his computer looking for possible cases for him and his brother. Meanwhile, Dean was reading Freya's hunting journal looking for any clues about the man who had kidnapped her and Kaila.

"If it was a demon it will be gone by now." Sam said, looking up at his brother.

"Unless he's still hell-bent on following Freya." Dean answered. "If we find him, we could finish him off."

"You can't kill a demon." Peter's voice drew the attention of both brothers as their gazes traveled to the kitchen doorway.

Looking at him, Dean took a sip of his coffee cup before answering his statement. "Yes, you can. If you have the right weapon."

"Like what? The Colt?" Peter asked, frowning.

"You know about the Colt?"

"My dad wrote about it in one of his books." He shrugged his shoulders as he walked toward the fridge to pull out a carton of milk. "He thinks I don't pay attention, but I do."

Sam and Dean shared a look.

Walking past Dean, Peter grabbed his sister's diary from the counter and a box of cereal from the nearest cupboard before sitting down next to Sam.

"I was reading that, you know?" Dean looked at him in disbelief.

"It's private." Peter said, fixing a bowl of cereal. "Read a newspaper. Or a book. There's plenty of them on every shelf in this house."

"It's a hunting journal. There's nothing private about it."

Peter squinted silently, watching him closely for a few seconds. Dean turned to his brother, confused.

"You know, my sister knew a Dean once." Peter then said, gaining back the attention of both brothers.

"She did?" Dean asked.

"Yeah." He answered with a nod, looking down at his bowl of cereal. "He was a jerk. Well, I never met him, but he dumped her in a motel near Chicago. He never called or gave any explanation. "

"Yeah, that sounds like a jerk." Sam whispered, turning his attention back to the computer in front of him as he earned an annoyed look from his brother.

"Sharing a name with him doesn't help me like you." Peter admitted, pretending not to notice that little interaction between the two of them.

"Maybe he had a reason for leaving." Dean said, looking back at him.

"Maybe." Peter repeated, staring straight into his eyes.

Dean gulped harshly at his watchful gaze, feeling as if the boy could see right through him.

"You know." He noted after a few seconds, not taking his eyes off him. "You've known since we got here, haven't you?"

Sam turned his head to look at the boy.

"I know my sister like the back of my hand. I know where she keeps everything. Of course I knew." Peter answered, placing on the counter one of the photos Freya had saved from her time with Dean. "So, what exactly are you doing here? Trying to make up for what an idiot you were?"

Dean sighed, taking the photo in his fingers to look at it carefully.

"Bobby sent us here. I didn't know she was the one we had to look for until we got here." He explained. "I was trying to protect her, you know? When I left."

"You don't have to give me any explanations. Although leaving in the middle of the night seems like something an asshole would do."

Dean didn't know how to answer that, and he was thankful he didn't have to when the phone started ringing. Sam was the one who answered the call, getting up and approaching the phone placed on one of the kitchen walls. Peter looked at him with interest, hoping it was news from his sister.

"It was Henry." He announced, as he hung up the phone. "Freya woke up."

"Great. I'll wait for you in the car. Be quick or I'll go alone." Peter exclaimed, rising to his feet and leaving the kitchen in a matter of seconds.

"Don't... touch my car." Dean warned him, leaving the coffee mug on the counter as he followed him.

Sam smiled in amusement, grabbing his jacket from the back of the chair.

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

Dean could feel Freya's eyes on him as he enter the hospital room after his brother. She didn't seem surprise or confuse to see him there, which funny enough made him more surprise and confuse.

"My father said you saved me." She smiled politely, shifting her gaze to Sam.

"I wouldn't say that much." He answered. "We couldn't finish the guy off, he left pretty quickly. We didn't even saw him."

"It's okay. I think I scared him."

Her response brought a smile to Sam's face. While Dean didn't know how to act now that he stood in front of her.

"I'm glad you're better." Sam said. "I'm...

"Sammy." She completed, looking at him fondly. "I've heard a lot about you."

"Right." He nodded. "So have I, about you."

Freya's gaze then turned back to Dean, whose eyes had been locked on her. A sense of familiarity as their green eyes finally met. Part of Freya was still angry at him for leaving without explanation, another wanted to hug him and tell him how much she had missed him. Dean felt an ache in his chest, as if that meeting was just the beginning of another goodbye.

"I should... leave you two alone." Sam's voice brought them back to reality, reminding them that he was still in the room. "It's good to meet you, Freya."

"Likewise." She responded with a kind smile on her lips.

As Sam left the room a heavy silence settled between the former couple. Dean's eyes had drifted away from her, looking everywhere and nowhere in particular. But now it was Freya who couldn't stop staring at him, trying to read his body language.

"I should have known." She was the one to break the silence. Dean's eyes fell on her with a sense of confusion.

"What?"

"That you were a hunter." She clarified with a nervous smile peeking through her lips. "It was pretty obvious now that I think about it."

"That you were wasn't." He admitted, feeling slightly less nervous in her presence. "I really believed the whole 'art student traveling the country' thing."

"That wasn't entirely a lie." She assured. "I was an art student, but that's not why I was there."

Dean nodded slightly, his eyes dropping to the floor before he spoke again. "Listen, Freya, I'm sorry... I left the way I did. I really thought it was for the best."

"For me or for you?"

"You know how this job works. If anything had happened to you... it would have been because of me. I couldn't have that."

"Yes, I understand." She nodded with a slight tone of bitterness in her voice. "But you could have said goodbye, don't you think?" Dean opened his mouth to answer, but Freya was quick to cut him off. "It doesn't matter now, Dean. I'm over it."

"Right." His voice came out as a whisper. "I'm glad you're okay." Freya looked away from him, feeling that same pain she had felt when she woke up that morning years ago without him by her side and no explanation. "I'm... I'm sorry."

As quickly as Dean left the hospital room Sam approached him, following him down the hallway.

"Did you tell her?" He asked him.

"Tell her what, Sammy?"

"Are you kidding? You know what."

"Why would I do that?" He asked, not bothering to look at him.

"Oh, I don't know. Because you've been wanting to call her for months." Sam shrugged. Dean stopped in his tracks, turning around to look at him. "Yeah, I pay attention too. You think I haven't seen you looking at her number in your phone? Well, I have. You want to tell her."

"No, I don't." He assured. "Why would I what to? Tell her I was an idiot back then, that I don't want to leave her again, but then do that exactly in a few months? No, thank you. She doesn't deserve that."

"She deserves the truth."

"Well, I was never good at giving her what she deserves. I'm back to being the jerk who leaves without explanation. I can live with that." He declared, turning away from his brother.

"Dean, you're dying. It's not the same..." Sam insisted, but Dean had already walked away far enough not to hear him.

"He is dying?" Peter's voice caused Sam to turn around quickly.

"What?" He frowned. "It's complicated."

"Listen, I don't even like him." He admitted. "But I know my sister and she loves him, I think. At least she deserves an explanation."

"I know she does. But I'm not the one who should give it to her."

"She's always wanted to get away from here, you know? To travel. She did a job once near Chicago. The only one she's ever done outside of San Francisco. That's where she met Dean." He explained as Sam listened carefully. "You guys do that, you travel around hunting monsters. I think she'd like something like that."

It wasn't hard for Sam to understand what Peter was asking. And the idea of Freya traveling with them didn't bother him at all. Part of him hoped that she wanted to help Dean as much as he.

"You know that would mean you may not see her for a long time."

"I don't care. I want her to be happy."

One thing that neither Peter nor Dean nor Sam knew was that Freya already knew about the deal Dean had made to save his brothers life. She knew Dean had little time left before he would be sent to hell. That demon had told her everything, with the sole purpose of hurting her. Because that's what that demon had been doing since she turned 10.

Her battle with that demon was hers alone. That was why she had lied to the Winchester brothers when they had asked her about her attacker. And it was also one of the reasons why going with them and leaving San Francisco seemed like the best idea. So she could hunt him down.

Except for the fact that it would mean spending a significant amount of time with Dean.

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

Freya left the hospital the following day. She had to rest and take some medicine, but the injuries weren't too serious and her ribs would heal on their own. Besides, she was already used to the bruises.

When she and her father arrived at the house, the Winchester brothers were still there. Dean wanted to leave as soon as possible, but Sam had insisted on waiting for Freya to return. So while Dean was gathering his things, Sam was with Peter. At the younger Winchester's request, the boy was showing him some of the books on supernatural history that his father stored.

Their conversation got interrupted when the curly-haired blond rushed into his sister's arms, happy to have her back home. A groan of pain left the girl's lips at the jolt, but that didn't stop a loving smile from appearing on her lips.

Dean heard them from upstairs, but he made no effort to join them. Minutes later, he was too focused on his own thoughts to notice Freya's presence in the doorway of the room where he and his brother had stayed over those last couple of nights.

"A deal with a demon, Dean, really?" He turned around at the sound of her voice, meeting her gaze.

"How did you...? Did Sammy tell you?"

"No. He didn't tell me anything." She quickly assured, which only made him more confused. "I lied before. When he asked me about the man who'd attacked me and kidnapped Kaila." She admitted, sitting down on the edge of one of the beds. Dean watched her closely, listening to her words. "I lied. I did know him. Not with that face, though. He's a demon I tried to hunt down a few months ago. I didn't succeed and since then he's been after me. He told me about it. Somehow he knew about... us. And he wanted to hurt me."

"So you already knew I was a hunter."

"Well, he wasn't the one I wanted to hear it from. But yeah, he told me." She nodded, looking up at him. "Why'd you do it, Dean?"

"Sammy was dead. I didn't have a choice." His response surprised her. Although it was the only logical reason why anyone would make such a deal. "You would have done the same thing for Peter."

He was right and she knew it. But that didn't stop her heart from shuddering at the mere thought of losing Dean again. After just a few exchanges of words and glances, Freya felt once again so connected to him that the thought of losing him hurt just as much as the first time.

"They really only gave you a year?" She turned to look at him once again as he sat down next to her on the edge of the bed. Dean sighed and nodded. "How long do you have left?"

"A few months." He answered. "And if I try to find a way around it, they'll kill Sam."

"Is that why you came here?" She asked with a frown. "You wanted to apologize before it was to late?"

A sigh left Dean's lips as he turned to look back at her. "I've wanted to apologize from the moment I stepped foot out of that motel room, Freya. I cared about you too much. I didn't want you to get hurt."

Freya didn't know whether to believe him. The last time Dean had said something like that to her it had ended with her waking up in an empty room. But at that very moment, looking into his eyes, she knew he was being completely honest with her.

"I forgive you, Dean."

"You're just saying that out of pity." He said, turning his gaze away.

"No, I'm not." She assured him, gaining enough courage to take his hand in hers. That gesture made Dean flinch, but the familiarity of her touch quickly put him at ease. "That's not the reason. I cared about you too. I still do."

"I don't want to drag you into this, Freya."

"You're not. I want to help." She said. "I may not be able to break the deal, but you guys can help me kill this demon that's after me. Peter told me about the Colt. And if you're gonna die, I want to spend whatever time you have left with you. That's of course if you wan-"

"I don't know..." He cut her off, rising to his feet.

"Come on, Dean." She insisted. "We can help each other. Or are you gonna leave Sam just like that?" Dean remained silent, pacing up and down the room. "You were right when you said I'd like him. And if he were Peter... I wouldn't want him to be alone. Plus, I might be able to find a way..."

"You're not going to look for anything." He interrupted her. "I told you, if I try to find a way around it, Sam dies."

"All right." She sighed. "I won't do anything. But..."

"You're won't take 'no' for an answer, are you?" Freya shook her head. "We leave in 20 minutes." He then said, making her smile.

But, before Freya could go anywhere with the Winchester brothers, she had to convince her father. Despite being a grown woman of twenty-four, Freya didn't want to leave without talking to her father. She would rather leave things on good terms and discuss the situation.

She knew her father wouldn't be thrilled with the idea, but she had always been good at getting what she wanted from him. Henry also knew she could take care of herself.

What really worried Freya was leaving her father and brother alone. Henry was no hunter, he could barely shoot a gun. And even though she herself had trained Peter to defend himself and they both knew enough about supernatural creatures, she was still worried about leaving them.

"You're not going with them." He answered as he closes his office door.

"Why not? I'll find-"

"It's dangerous." He said, cutting her off.

"I wouldn't hunt alone anymore. And I'd help more people than here." She answered, watching as he walked around the desk to stand in front of her.

"You're hurt." He noted.

"I'll stay out of the fight for a while. I can do research."

"I don't know..."

"I'm going to find that demon, dad." She stated. "They have the Colt, I'll be able to kill him."

"If there's any bullets left. They could have used them all."

"They haven't."

"I hope you're right." He sighed, sitting down. "But, Freya, I don't want you to put yourself in danger again for this revenge."

"It's more than that and you know it." She answered, sitting in front of him. "I'm doing this to protect us. All of us."

"I know." He whispered, watching her closely. "You won't listen to me, would you?"

"I've never been good at it." She shrugged with an amused smile on her lips.

"No. Neither you or your brother." He sighed. "You two are just like your mother."

"I'll call every day." She promised him.

"You better." He said. "I love you."

"I love you too." She smiled, standing up. "I'll go get my stuff."

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

Sam was glad to hear that Freya would be joining them from now on. Part of him hoped she could help him save his brother. Another part of him was just relieved that if Dean finally ended up in hell, he would no longer be completely alone.

He liked her. Without hardly knowing her, he could already see what had made his brother fall in love with her. Aside from being beautiful, Freya seemed to be a sweet, caring, strong and intelligent person. He honestly couldn't wait to get to know her more.

"Call me anytime, for anything. Seriously, Peter, anytime." Freya said to her brother as she crouched down in front of him.

"I will. Don't worry about it." He answered, his eyes traveling behind her, where he could see the Winchester brothers leaning against the car, waiting for her. "I've packed a couple of comics in there, in case you get bored and so you don't forget me." He said, handing her a backpack.

"As if I could." She smiled.

"Dad has also put a gift in there. I think it was something from Mom." Freya looked down at the backpack.

"Would you thank him for me?" She asked, trying not to show the sadness in her voice. Peter nodded.

"Sure."

Freya nodded slightly, looking back at Sam and Dean.

"Remember, salt, holy water and silver knife under the bed." She said, looking up again at her little brother. "You have the key to my guns and you know where to hide."

"Relax. I've got it." He assured her, as he had already heard her say that just a few minutes before.

"Okay." She whispered.

"We'll be all right."

"Yeah, yeah, I know." She nodded. "I know."

"I'll miss you." He said, wrapping his arms around her.

"I'll miss you too, buddy." Freya smiled, hugging him back. "I love you."

"Love you too."

Freya had never spent that much time apart from her brother. Peter was like a son to her. Sure, Henry was a loving and caring father, but he was also a very busy one. She had always felt like a mother to him. Every time he had a nightmare, Peter would appear in her bed. Every time something exciting happened to him at school, she was the one he told. She just hoped that the distance wouldn't break the bond between them.

Pressing a kiss to his cheek, Freya broke away from the hug, getting to her feet to join Dean and Sam in the car.

"Ready?" Dean asked as he saw her approaching him.

"Yup." She nodded.

"All right. The back seats are all yours. You won't be driving anytime soon, so make yourself comfortable." He said, opening the driver's door.

Freya frowned, her hand gripping the door handle. "Why not?"

Dean looked back at her. "Remember the last time I gave you Baby's keys? I won't make the same mistake."

"I've learned since then, you know." She answered. Dean raised his eyebrows at her, giving her a serious look. "Fine." She sighed, getting inside the car.

Imitating her action, Dean got behind the wheel. His eyes taking one last glance at Peter, who was waving goodbye to Freya.

"Come on, Dean, stop frowning." Freya leaned over the back of the front seats, resting her arms on it and placing her head between both brothers. "We might make a good team." She smiled, before slightly nudging the youngest's shoulder. "Right, Sammy?"

Normally Sam wouldn't let anyone besides his brother use that nickname, but he liked the way it sounded when she said it. So with an amused smile he turned to Dean.

"Yeah." He replied, receiving a not-so-amused look from him.

"Is the rule still the same?" Freya asked, gaining his attention back as he started the car.

"What rule?"

"You know 'driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole'"

"Right." He nodded.

"Well I'm not riding shotgun and I've got some pretty good cassette tapes here." She informed, looking inside the backpack her brother had given her.

"You're not the driver either." He pointed out.

"Come on, Dean." She insisted. Sam smiled in amusement, looking over at his brother. "I've got good taste in music. You said it yourself."

"I must have been drunk."

"Very funny." She said, rolling her eyes. "But, seriously, we can't listen to the same four albums all the time."

"I've been telling him that for years." Sam commented.

"Maybe on the next stop."

"Really?" They both looked at him with surprise. Freya with a gleam of hope in her eyes while Sam did with disbelief.

"I said maybe."

"I take that as a yes." Freya smiled, leaning against the back of her seat.

Tag List: @deans-spinster-witch @lmhf1

If you'd like to be tagged, drop me a comment

[lovely-peace]

Distance Between Sun And Moon

Summary: The reader is hurt from the fight they had with Remus. After that her friends want to throw a party to lighten the mood. But the reader doesn't know if they should go and in a moment of weakness they search help by a new friend.

Warnings: self doubt, self hatred, People are dumb and blind when they are in love, lot less then usual lol

This part is more a build up for the next part, but it's still my longest :') Wc: 1.114

Masterlist part 1 --- part 7

Hope you enjoy<333

Tense.

If I had to describe myself in one word, this would fit perfectly. After the tragedy yesterday, I was shattered and tense. It was Sunday, and the others had planned a small celebration.

I won't go. Knowing Sirius and James, they will now throw a huge party to lure me close to Remus. But I will NEVER go.

I don't want to be near him. I don't want to breathe the same air as him. Not that my body would betray me.

I left the room early. I couldn't stand the tense silence between us any longer.

I didn't go to the library, as I knew he would find me there. And that was the last thing I wanted. I searched for a place where I could hide.

Quickly, I realized that there was no place where my friends couldn't find me. Where he couldn't find me. Aimlessly, I roamed through the castle.

I ran my fingers along the walls, without any specific thoughts.

Suddenly, my fingertips touched a bump. A door. A room. What?

It was probably forbidden, but it felt like a sacred gift. So, I went inside.

What I found there left me speechless.

~~~~

"Where were you?" "I just wanted to clear my head." I entered the Gryffindor common room, and Mary practically attacked me.

She looked at me, opened her mouth, then closed it again. She seemed undecided. That made me laugh. "Spit it out already!" "Would you like to come to the big party?" She looked desperate, and I felt guilty.

"Mary…" "Come on, it's going to be fantastic! Everyone is invited and coming. We managed to get the kitchen to cook for us, so there'll be great food, and-!"

"I can't, Mary."

She seemed like she wanted to say something else, but then she just looked at me. Eventually, she looked down at the floor.

"I know. Actually, I know. And I also know that he's behaving like a jerk."

She didn't need to say the name. We both knew who she meant.

She looked at me with big eyes, eyes that pleaded with me.

"But I also know that he really cares about you. That he doesn't want to hurt you. That he feels terrible about yesterday."

She begged me to listen to him. Maybe even to forgive him. "I'm not ready for that… I'm sorry."

She simply nodded in encouragement.

"I understand."

~~

After our conversation, she left me alone, and I was very grateful for that. Too many thoughts plagued me.

I walked slowly through the corridors of Hogwarts. They were long, and you could never know all of them. I hoped I wouldn't run into Remus. Somehow, he always seemed to find me, which never bothered me before, but now? Now, it was terrible.

My steps slowed down. My feet grew heavier. My breath became uneven. I had this terrible habit of running away from my problems.

"(y/n)?"

My heart stopped.

But not because of Remus.

I turned around to face Luis and prepared myself for an argument. His brother must have talked to him, and I wouldn't blame him if he wanted me out of his life. But he just looked surprised.

"I thought you'd be with your friends?"

My eyes widened. I had canceled on him because we were supposed to do something together. In my panic, I had completely forgotten about him. Because of Remus.

"Oh yeah, that didn't work out."

It sounded like an excuse, and I felt embarrassed. But he looked genuinely concerned.

"Why?"

Then it all came back.

Well, that he's playing with your feelings. The fact that his brother showed up right after you hurt his brother's pride only proves it.

Everything I had tried to suppress.

That was definitely meant as just friends hanging out. Sometimes you're really naive.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

I looked up at Luis. He looked calm. But there was a certain panic in his eyes that reminded me of his brother when I was knocked out.

"We had a little argument." He didn't ask what it was about. He just looked at me sincerely.

It felt like Remus was looking at me. It was as if he could see right into my soul.

"Are you okay?"

Whatever.

And that's when I broke down.

~~~~

Remus's POV. Morning.

"You are being a lunatic, Moons." Sirius's voice startled me, and I quickly closed the map. He was right.

"And a stalker. Moony, it's not healthy to keep looking for her on the map all the time." James came into my field of view. He and Sirius were getting ready for Quidditch training. He looked at me accusingly.

"I'm just worried. I can't seem to find her. It's almost as if she disappeared into thin air." Excuse.

James didn't believe me for a second; that was clear. "Maybe you just overlooked her."

My fingers itched to open the map and keep searching. My gaze slid back to the map and got stuck there. James noticed.

"Give me the map, Moony."

"What?" Please don't take it away from me.

James shook his head. "You'll just keep searching for her. And, honestly, I don't think she wants to see you. You need to wait for her and leave her alone. So, hand it over."

He held out his hand expectantly.

"Don't tell me you didn't search for Lily either." I didn't want to wait. I wanted to make everything right immediately.

James sighed. "I did. Of course, I wanted to fix everything right away. But I accepted that I have to wait for her. That's why I didn't pressure her and overwhelm her with apologies yesterday. Wounds need time to heal, Remus. You know that best."

Reluctantly and unwillingly, I handed over the map.

A whistle came from behind us.

"Prongs, since when are you so wise? And I always thought you were as dumb as a rock." Even now, Sirius could make jokes.

Then the door was opened, and Peter rushed in. "Guys, I managed to convince the house-elves in the kitchen to cook for our party!"

"Party?"

Sirius grinned at me. "Well, we thought we might speed up the healing process a bit."

James looked surprised. "I didn't think you'd understand my metaphor. And I always thought you were as dumb as a rock!"

Sirius punched him, and they went off to practice, while Peter looked confusedly after them.

"What was that about?"

~~~

Reader's POV. Present.

I told him everything about Remus. From my embarrassing rejection to our argument yesterday. He just listened to me. In between, he led me to a quiet corner, and we sat down there.

When I was finished, I felt ten tons lighter. I felt lighter than ever before. Telling someone all of this without them telling me how Remus didn't mean it like that was so refreshing. I allowed myself to just explain my feelings without worrying about Remus.

"And now all my friends are throwing a huge party. Everyone's invited, but I'm not sure if I want to go. He'll probably want to talk to me, and I'm not really ready for that…"

The words flowed out of me like water flowing down a river, unstoppable.

Luis looked at me for a long time. He didn't say anything for a while, and then he said something that surprised me.

"Do you want to go to the party with me?"

"What?"

He looked at me sheepishly. "Not as a date or anything! I just thought maybe I could help you with Remus. If I'm with you, he probably won't approach you by himself, right?"

"No, probably not." But I knew how it would look for him then. It would look like I was on a date with Luis, a day after we had argued.

But why should he care?

"If it feels too weird for you, I understand -" "Actually, that's a good idea." I interrupted him. He looked surprised, as if he hadn't expected that. But then he smiled.

"Then let's go together today."

I was very grateful to Luis. He was a great friend.

Maybe Remus would then tell me why he cares so much.

The sun rotates around the earth, trying to ignore the moon, which followers the sun desperately, trying to get noticed.

Taglist : @juleshadalittlelamb @fluffybunnyu @tendous-pretty-hair @helloitsmeeeeeee @valencia-rou @woohoney @mothermaryisdead @blackqueens01

[we-are-inevitable]

i usually sound weird/awkward when I send asks but anyway lets try it -- do you have thoughts on the different dynamics between davey and his family members?

i dont really know how to explain it other than like. putting it in an angst kind of setting LMAO but: it somes out a lot when david is upset, or having a really difficult day. those days happen a lot less than they used to, but they still happen; the days when he feels the weight of the world deep in the center of his chest and it's hard to even walk, let alone go to school or the lodging house.

mayer sits with him. for as long as he can, anyway; either he or david will have to leave, but david finds that the weight he feels is eased when he can rest his head on his father's shoulders and hear him say, you don't have to be a strong man all the time, david. it helps when david can talk to his father and get advice. his dad is more of a man than he'll ever be, he feels like, so hearing those words of wisdom- hearing that he doesn't have to be on it 24/7- it makes him feel like he's on the right track.

esther holds him. david has always been a mama's boy, and that's not changing. she's a very smart woman, and knows there's something different about him- something he won't let Mayer see- but esther is really the only person he feels like he can be himself around 100% of the time. so, she holds him, and lets his worries and words tumble out a mile a minute, and runs her fingers through his hair, and tightens her grip when her son, her baby boy, starts crying in her arms because it's all so much. and she doesn't tell him to man up, or push through- she tells him to let it out, and he feels like he really can. (plugging in autistic david here: his mother is the only person who can initiate physical contact with him without making him uncomfortable. for everyone else- even jack- david has to initiate the contact or he feels like he'll crawl out of his skin.)

sarah engages with him. when david is upset, there's a 50/50 change it will end in tears, but if sarah can get to him before that, she knows that she can talk him down. so, they have an old fashioned bitch session. they sit on the fire escape and air out their grievances- with the people at school, the family, the world- and spend so much time "yes, and"ing each other that it makes david calm down. maybe it's just twin brain, but they riff off of each other so well that they're able to vent without ever feeling the need to check in on each other, and david is grateful that he has someone who will listen to the edge in his voice, who allows him to feel anger and lets him express it. at their core, whether they're teenagers in 1899 or teenagers in 2023, they're teenagers, and understand each other on a deeper level because of it. sarah gets him, and he gets sarah, and having those moments where then can be angry and upset together and talk everything out helps both of them.

and les tries. he really, really tries- he may not know why his big brother is upset, but les will do whatever it takes to make him happy. he'll bring him toys, or give david half of his dessert at dinner, and it's something so small and seemingly insignificant- les is only nine, after all- but it's truly the thought that counts. les is smart, but david isn't going to burden him with making him listen to everything, so those little moments when they pass each other food or things they think the other will enjoy is integral to their relationship. if les finds david curled up on the fire escape, crying as he looks out at the city, he'll sit with him and offer him pieces of whatever snack he has. snacking is a privilege they often can't afford, and the fact that les is willing to give it up for david? it helps put his worries into perspective.

to simplify, i think the dynamics can be summed up using love languages:

Mayer gives David: words of affirmation

Esther gives David: physical touch

Sarah gives David: quality time

Les gives David: gift giving

and in turn, David gives his family acts of service.

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

Noticing you (noticing me)

Lan Wangji is not jealous. He's not, really. He knows Wei Ying is in the Cloud Recesses with business. He's here as sect leader, brother's asked for his help dealing with some unusual spiritual activity in the area that's beyond the scope of the Lan.

This is necessary. Wei Ying is busy trying to uncover the mystery with Zewu-Jun, that's all. They're working.

In the hanshi. Alone. For the past 10 hours.

Lan Wangji is jealous.

Of course, he knows neither Lan Xichen, nor Wei Ying would break his trust like that. There's nothing going on in the hanshi besides cultivation work. Lan Wangji has no reason to suspect anything.

But he still drinks vinegar by the liter anyway.

He wants to be the one to spend all this time with Wei Ying. They see one another so rarely now... and he misses his beloved so much it hurts. They've been having such a hard time synchronizing schedules lately that they haven't spent time together in over a month, and they haven't been intimate in just as long...

And now to have Wei Ying so close but so unreachable... torture! All Lan Wangji wants to do is be around Wei Ying, at least. Give him a kiss, maybe. Duck behind some bushes. It's not that much, is it?

But no, Wei Ying's holed up in the hanshi with Lan Xichen while Lan Wangji is stuck doing paperwork. How is any of this fair?

Logically, he knows he'd get nothing done if he was left alone with Wei Ying. It's good Lan Xichen didn't involve him in this work. But he still aches, longing for his dearly loved.

He's so incredibly intelligent, he'll sure fix whatever's going on immediately and they'll retreat to the jingshi for the rest of his visit... right?

---

All Lan Wangji has managed to get from Wei Ying so far is a very brief kiss. And he's grateful, don't get him wrong! He loves feeling Wei Ying's lips against his own, warm, soft and inviting... But Wei Ying's been in the Cloud Recesses for four days now, and all that time's been spent working. Shouldn't he be taking a break by now?

Lan Wangji is trying not to be antsy about this. He really is, he even let the kids leave class early so he won't be unnecessarily harsh on them. But he wants Wei Ying so much he feels like he's going to die. Whatever can be so difficult that he can't figure it out? Maybe he just needs some time away from his work, a distraction even. And Lan Wangji is so good at taking his mind off things-

He sees Wei Ying and Lan Xichen stroll leisurely across the Cloud Recesses, deep in their conversation, and decides he's just going to drown in vinegar at this point. Wei Ying looks so good, in his red and black robes, expensive fabric shining in the sunlight and his hair unbound, a keen expression on his beautiful features...

He should have been sect leader instead. How bad could it be. Brother deserves a vacation, let Lan Wangji deal with Wei Ying and the other sect stuff, just...

Wei Ying notices him. Their eyes lock and the world seems to slow down for a moment - just long enough for Wei Ying to wink at him and add just a bit of a swing to his hips as he walks away.

It takes all Lan Wangji has not to run after them.

---

"Lan Zhan, how am I going to go back home now?" Wei Ying whines, laying down on Lan Zhan's chest after a long due session of lovemaking.

"I could carry you."

"How gentlemanly of you!" A laugh. "I'll be bed-ridden for a week now, whoever will run my sect now?"

"They'll live."

[the-starry-seas]

okay to make up for all the Kit angst, here's some fluff from the royal ot3 AU

Kit squeezes Lucky's hand gently as they wait for the crosswalk light to change. He can practically see his brother's nervousness, but he'd promised Lucky over and over again that he had nothing to worry about, and Lucky had believed him. Kit really thinks this could help.

The light changes, accompanied by a chiming noise, and he leads the way across the street. He commed ahead to let Kryndi know they were coming, but that had been half an hour ago. He hopes the shop hasn't become busy since then.

Fortunately there's only three other people in the shop, a Twi'lek who's one of the regulars, and a pair of humans he doesn't recognise. A bell dings behind them as the door closes, but the others don't look up.

"Be right there!"

Lucky glances over at him, and Kit gives a reassuring smile. There's a dozen little things to do in a shop like this. Just because she isn't there to greet them, doesn't mean they're not welcome.

"Kit! Hi!"

"Hi, Kryndi," he says, trying not to look like he's blushing. She's wearing red lipstick again. He knows she does that for him. Corrie red, just like his hair.

"Is this your brother that you were talking about?"

Lucky waves with his free hand, glancing up at her only briefly before his gaze returns to a small beetle trundling along the edge of the counter.

Kryndi, bless her, doesn't say a word about it. Instead she lifts part of the counter and waves them through.

"The misters just turned off a couple minutes ago," she says. "So everything smells good, like rain. The water didn't get on the floor very much, so it won't be slippery, don't worry."

There's strips of thick plastic hanging in the doorway, and she holds them aside for them.

"Thanks," he says softly. "Is that swinging seat still in the back?"

"Yep. Take as long as you want, I'm the only one working today so nobody else will be back here."

He leans in to kiss her cheek.

"Thanks," he says again. "Dinner tomorrow?"

"I'd like that."

She smiles at him, then at Lucky, and makes her way back to the counter.

Kit stays where he is, until Lucky takes a step forward, tugging Kit along. They wander through rows of tables, each one holding a dozen pots. There's a few small trees - or maybe large bushes, Kit has no idea how to tell them apart - along one wall.

All the way at the back is a swinging chair big enough for two people, its awning faded but not tattered, its seats comfortably worn-in.

Kit sits down and plants his feet on the floor so it won't move much as Lucky curls up next to him. Everything has been better for both of them, since Lucky was rescued from that awful job on Kamino, but there's still a lot of progress to be made.

He doesn't mind. Honestly, he's just glad that Lucky is alive and safe and no longer has to worry about decommissioning.

He starts rocking carefully, making sure that the seat doesn't go too far or too fast. Lucky will like this, he's sure, as long as it stays gentle.

Lucky says nothing, but that's hardly unusual, so Kit doesn't bring it up. In a greenhouse full of flowers, it almost feels right, to be quiet.

So he rests his cheek on Lucky's curls, and swings them back and forth until a butterfly starts coming near. It lands on his knee, wings slowly fluttering up and down.

Another lands on Lucky's arm, sunning itself. It doesn't leave for a good ten minutes.

When it finally does, Lucky cuddles into Kit's side and closes his eyes. He takes a deep breath and lets it out, and Kit recognises the breathing technique that Fox taught Lucky for his anxiety.

This time it doesn't take long for Lucky's breathing to even out. Once it does, he makes no move to get up. His eyes stay closed, his body stays relaxed, and he tucks his hand into the crook of Kit's elbow instead of clinging to his hand.

it's the most relaxed that Kit has seen him all week. He's so very grateful for a quiet few hours among the flowers, and for the brother at his side, finally finding peace.

[preciouslittletoonette]

Squirmy's New Friend

Summary: After losing his twin in the crowd at Mal & Ben's engagement party, a tearful Squirmy Smee comes across a strange but kind boy. Who might be more connected to him than first thought.

Squirmy hated crowds. 

It was something that constantly terrorised him on the Isle. Large, loud crowds were always a worry. Large crowds meant a deadlier stampede. More spreading of disease. Most likely to get lost in and be overwhelmed by the sheer amount of voices. 

Auradon seemed to have that same problem.

Hence, Squirmy's situation.

The engagement party of King Ben and Mal were well underway, and to say the number of people attending was huge would've been an understatement. Guests both Isle and Auradonian flooded the area where the party was taking place. The place felt so cramped in some parts (Squirmy could already see the pickpockets coming in from a mile away) as everyone moved about.

Then, to his absolute horror, he loses his twin in the crowd, becoming stranded in the middle of a crowd, voices speaking over the other and so many conversations happening at once and he couldn't get anyone to find his brother (his practical anchor in some instances). The noise had become too much. Squirmy had to get out.

And he did. Out into the garden, hiding behind some hedges with trees overhead where our current scene was taking place.

Squirmy sat under a willow tree, knees drawn up to his chest as he tried to calm himself from what had just occurred inside beforehand. He wasn't crying, but his breathing sounded laboured and hoarse.

Auradon wasn't what he had imagined it to be. In fact, if he were being completely honest with his opinion, the land of heroes hadn't lived up to the hype VK Day had made it out to be.

Granted, perhaps Auradon had just been having an off week. Squirmy was certain they didn't experience a villain takeover because a princess was heartbroken every week before he came here. Certain that wasn't Auradon's normal. 

But now, he'd never really get to know what Auradon's previous normal looked like. Not with the barrier being down, which will no doubt cause a bunch of new normals to occur. 

A part of Squirmy was grateful for the barrier falling, as it had allowed him and Squeaky to reunite with their father. But the other was less than enthused as the things that once tormented Squirmy will now leak into Auradon.

That latter thought made him feel guilty. As he knew if the barrier closed forever, other kids won't get to escape, and he'd never see his father again. But to completely open it... it didn't sit right.

Squirmy pulled more in on himself, his face hidden behind his knees. His mind was too loud. It was moments like this where he could use Squeaky's support. Or even Sammy's. He wished there was someone he could talk to, but knowing his luck, wishes were maybe not meant for him.

He feels something drop onto his hand. He looks up to look at his hand and immediately frowns at the white substance on it.

"Bird poop?"

"Cake frosting, actually!"

Squirmy jumped up from his seat, looking around a little panicked as he realised he wasn't alone. He then looked up into the tree he was sitting under and found himself staring at a boy, possibly around his age, maybe even a little younger. 

" You good down there, pal?", the boy asked, his voice sounding casual.

"Who are you?", Squirmy asked, taken aback.

The boy up in the tree grinned," I asked you first~", he sang cheekily.

"No, you didn't!", Squirmy jumped as the boy suddenly jumped from the tree and landed on his hands and feet. He looked up at Squirmy and grinned widely, his buck teeth the forefront and star of what was a set of charmingly crooked teeth.

" Well, I meant to~", the boy said sweetly, almost as sweet as the dessert still covering his mouth," I did still ask a question first, though. You good?".

" How long were you up there?", Squirmy asked. 

The boy raised his brow, looking unimpressed at Squirmy's deflection but deciding to play along," Long enough to be the first here", he said flatly.

Squirmy winced," So you were here for... all of that?".

"For every single choked-up sound you let out", the boy confirmed, his voice drawling. 

Squirmy reeled back and leaned a little further away from the boy. He felt bitter, 'Great. Bad enough, I got bullied for being a wuss on the Isle. Now I'm gonna have it in Auradon too', he thought, tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

He felt a gentle tap on his shoulder and turned to find a plastic lunchbox gripped in the hand of the boy before him.

" Don't worry, I won't snitch about the crying", the boy said as he plopped down close to Squirmy, another lunchbox in his other hand for himself. 

The boy went straight into eating from the lunchbox, not waiting for Squirmy to join him or anything. The youngest Smee watched the boy in front of him scarf down the food before joining, eating his food with the same urgency without the mess.

The boy stopped for a moment to gaze up at Squirmy. He tilted his head, watching him eat. 

"Do your siblings try to steal your favourite food too?", the boy asked curiously. 

"What?", Squirmy asked, confused.

" My siblings make a game out of eating all my favourites without sharing. That's why I'm eating all of this without them", the boy said with a shrug," I'll share with them eventually, I just want to taste some of my faves, y'know. Do you have siblings?", the boy asked curiously 

Squirmy blinked, the boy had given him a lot to process. Eventually, he got to the question and nodded in response. 

" Two. My big brother and my twin brother"

"You have a twin!", the boy said excitedly," I have little twins in my family too!"

"How many siblings do you have?", Squirmy asked curiously. 

"Loads!", the boy exclaimed," Mostly brothers. I recently started getting more sisters and siblings. There's like-", the boy paused and silently counted the number of siblings he had," 13 of us, altogether. I'm 2nd eldest, but I was the first!".

'2nd eldest but the first?', Squirmy thought it was weird. He didn't quite understand and was rather confused. The confusion must have been visible on his face because the boy decided to elaborate. 

"I'm what the Mainlanders call "Adopted"", the boy explained, and suddenly, it made sense to Squirmy. Something else then piqued his interest.

Mainlanders? Squirmy was about to ask about that, but then the boy beat him to speaking by asking his own question.

" Don't take this the wrong way, but... you're oddly dressed for a Mainlander", the boy pointed out, mouth full of food at this point," You don't look like you're from the EverRealm either".

"Mainlander?", Squirmy murmured, confused.

"BAH! Auradonian if you wanna get technical about it", the boy scoffed, rolling his eyes," So where are you from?".

" You don't know?"

It was odd to Squirmy that this boy didn't immediately recognise him as a VK. From what he heard, the whole VK Day thing was televised.

The boy raised a confused brow and tilted his head to the side as he watched Squirmy," Am I supposed to?", he asked, confused.

Squirmy opened his mouth to respond... then closed it as he thought about it. There was a possibility that not all Auradonians (assuming the boy before him was Auradonian) would be interested in the VK problem. At least the young AKs like the boy before him. Heck, Squirmy wasn't initially very interested in what the fancy people in their castles had to say until he was signed up for the VK Day program by Harriet and his father. If they all were the same, then safe to say the boy probably wasn't interested in stuff like this at all.

"I guess not", Squirmy shrugged," I'm from the Isle".

The boy blinked twice," The Isle of....?", he drawled, waving his hands in a circular motion for Squirmy to get the cue he needed to be further specific.

Squirmy's eyes widened, surprised. This boy really knew nothing. 

"...The Lost", Squirmy said, finishing the sentence," I'm from the Isle of the Lost".

A beat passed. And then-

"OOOOOOOH", the boy exclaimed suddenly," The Isle of the Lost! That explains-", he pauses," Well- it doesn't explain anything to me right now, but I'm sure it will eventually!", he said cheerfully.

"Yeah", was all Squirmy said. His mind was busy playing catch up with the boy's weird but nicely nonchalant reaction.

"Sooooooo", the boy drawled out," Are you like... a kid of a villain, then?", he asked curiously as he leaned forward. 

"Uh... My dad is more of a henchman than any- what are you doing?", Squirmy said, falling back as he noticed the boy was now uncomfortably close.

His pupils were dilated, and he was straight-up sniffing Squirmy. Squirmy fell back and stared up at the boy above him, who was intensely smelling him everywhere he could. It made Squirmy, like his namesake, squirm. Because of that, the boy stopped and sat back. With a blink, his gaze returned to normal.

"Sorry. Sorry", the boy said sheepishly as he helped Squirmy up," I shouldn't have done that. Mother warned me Mainlanders don't like it when I or my sibs do that".

"Why were you smelling me?", Squirmy asked curiously after a second to compose himself.

"You smelled like someone I knew a while back....", the boy said earnestly with a shrug, playing with the fox tail lining the hood of his jacket." Anyhoo... your pops? You said he was a henchman? Whose was he?".

Squirmy was still a tad stuck on the fact he had just been sniffed by a boy he was definitely beginning to question the sanity of but still pressed forward to answer the question.

"Captain Hook's", Squirmy answered. 

Something changed in the boy's demeanour. It was small and mostly unnoticeable. Squirmy himself hadn't noticed something was off.

The boy stared and stared at Squirmy for a few seconds before speaking," .....You're Smee's Kid?".

"Yeah, wasn't it obvious?", Squirmy asked, gesturing to his clothes and their colour scheme, which the boy did look at with a contemplative stare. 

"Huh", the boy said softly. His gaze falls on Squirmy again with an unreadable expression.

"Wanna go grab more food with me?", the boy asked suddenly.

xXx

Squirmy walked hesitantly behind the boy, breath quickening as the voices from the party inside grew louder.

"Gosh, this place is even more packed than earlier. How's a guy even supposed to enter?", the boy commented," These sort of parties are never usually this big..."

"Do we really have to go inside?", Squirmy asked. He did make note that his new... companion had been inside earlier. And apparently knew how these sorts of events went.

The boy shrugged," We don't have to go in this way. We can just find the staff entrance and get in through the kitchen", he explained, taking hold of Squirmy's hand and dragging him around the building to find the staff entrance. 

"Have you ever been to these sort of things before?", Squirmy asked, seeing as this boy was somewhat knowledgeable on these sort of events.

"Eh, once or twice", the boy said shrugging," They aren't my scene. Think of it as a.... once in a blue moon sort of thingamabob", he added," I get invited. But I'm not really fond of leaving home much".

A home body? Squirmy could relate to that. 

"Same here", Squirmy said quietly," I'd much rather be at home napping".

They found a staff entrance and the boy led Squirmy by the hand through the long corridor until they entered the busy kitchen. Squirmy hesitated to move forward, so he had to be pulled by his companion. They got a lot of stares but the boy's glare usually sent the workers looking elsewhere to Squirmy's surprise. 

They came up towards the wheeled server trays and Squirmy's mouth watered at the sight of all the treats piled onto them.

"The food is made by the chefs working at Tiana's Palace in Bayou d'Orleans, so this stuff is going to be REALLY tasty", the boy explained.

Squirmy nodded. Honestly though, after eating trash for most of his life, even the bad Auradon food tasted incredible. So Squirmy trusted his companion's judgement. 

"So what do we do then?", Squirmy asked quietly. 

The boy grinned," We take some, duh", he said like it was obvious.

"Won't the cooks get mad though?", Squirmy asked worriedly.

"Probably", the boy said as he went and grabbed a few hors'deurves and started placing them strategically into places in the backpack he had been carrying with him since meeting Squirmy," But I don't care".

'Spoken like a true VK', Squirmy thought as he just watched the boy pluck the different finger foods and confections outside the eyes of the wandering chefs. It made him a little put off actually, but not by much. His new companion acted more like an Isle kid than he did. It made him a little curious to learn more about him.

And of course, the boy's kindness was certainly a large factor in Squirmy's growing comfort being around him.

The boy was doing well to ask Squirmy what he might like. The youngest Smee couldn't decide as he didn't recognise much of what was presented to him. So the boy decided to pack him a little bit of everything in a medium-sized plastic container so Squirmy could try it out.

"Mother will freak that I took her good tupperware but it's for a good cause", the boy said as he showed Squirmy the container with his treats in," This'll be for you".

Squirmy was thankful and a smile grew on his face due to the boy's thoughtfulness. The boy noticed his smile and grinned, proud to get such a smile out of this kid he had just met.

They were almost caught once by one of the staff workers. The boy had dragged Squirmy behind some flour bags as the worker went and took the wheeled tray to the main room where the party was taking place.

"That was close", the boy piped up.

"What are we going to do if we get caught?", Squirmy asked.

"Run, I guess"

" I'm... I'm not really a fast runner", Squirmy was ashamed to admit. His lack of speed was usually what got him caught by his bullies. He got ridiculed by Harry about it a few times and was expecting something similar to happen here. But to his surprise, his companion just giggled light-heartedly.

"Then I guess I'll just have to carry you then", the boy said with a playful wink and an air of truth.

Squirmy felt his face warm up a little. His rosy cheeks became a little more pink from the boy's response. 

"Can you even do that?", Squirmy asked, brow raised.

"You doubt me?", the boy said with an exaggerated pout.

"I find it a little hard to believe, is all", Squirmy said with a shrug, hoping to come off as nonchalant and cool about it," You'd have to carry both me and the bag". The full bag they filled with food by now.

The boy scoffed," Piece of cake! I've carried heavier", he said folding his arms.

"I don't believe you", Squirmy replied.

"-Now. You don't believe me right now. But soon, you will", the boy said confidently. 

"We'll see about that", Squirmy said shaking his head.

They were done filling up the bag. There was enough food in there to last a family 3 weeks in Squirmy's Isle-like opinion. For the boy, this will simply be a weekend's supply of treats.

" Now what? Do we go back outside?", Squirmy asked. He was quite eager to get further away from the ongoing party.

"I was actually going to check on my siblings", the boy answered," They're somewhere in that party room".

Squirmy felt his body freeze at the mention of going back to the party room. With all those people and all that noise with so little space-

But then Squirmy is reminded of his own twin. Who he hasn't seen in the last hour. Who's probably still inside somewhere, worried about him.

"Can we find my twin while we're at it?", Squirmy asked as they slipped out of the kitchen," I kind of lost him before I got outside...".

"We can split up to look for the-", the boy started suggesting.

"No!", Squirmy exclaimed, grabbing the boy's hand. His body shook a little and willed it to stop by thinking of other things," I- I'd like it if we stuck together".

There was silence for a moment and Squirmy thought for sure he had just embarrassed himself. But then he felt his hand be gently squeezed.

The boy gave him a soft, supportive smile," Okay. We'll stick together, then", he said gently before pulling Squirmy forward, taking him down the hall.

They walked together in somewhat silence. The boy was humming and took to walking on all the furniture he came across from tables to chairs. Squirmy giggled at the sight. Very few words were exchanged for that few minutes. Squirmy winced hearing the music getting louder and the voices becoming more clearer. Then the boy spoke up out of nowhere.

"Do you not like parties?", the boy asked curiously.

Squirmy hummed in thought,"...I like parties. Just... not parties as big as these". So many people. So much noise.

"Why?", the boy asked, curiously, as he hopped in front of Squirmy.

"There's so many people and so little space and so much noise. It hurts my head. I feel sick", Squirmy said honestly, those similar feelings bubbling up again as they got closer to the party room.

The boy looked sympathetic and thoughtful as Squirmy described his experience," Is that why you were shaking when I met you? You came from the party then?", he asked, his brows furrowed in concern.

Squirmy nodded," I lost my brother in the crowd and I panicked", he said as he took a stop to rest against the wall," Being alone always made me a target on the Isle. And the crowd was so big and so loud, I felt like I was about to crushed by it all".

"Sucks, man", the boy said sympathetically. He bit his lip in thought. They were close to the door now but the boy was hesitant to drag his new friend inside after what he heard. He had to think of something else. Luckily, something came to him rather quickly. 

"Come on", the boy said as he grabbed Squirmy's hand again.

"Where are we going? The door is right there", Squirmy pointed out.

"The balconies would be less crowded, I think. You'll be more comfortable up there", the boy explained.

" You'd do this for me?", Squirmy said, eyes widened in surprise. 

"You're my friend, of course, I would", the boy said with a friendly grin.

Friend. The word echoed in Squirmy's mind. He had few friends outside of his twin brother. Dizzy was his friend... Celia would be a potential friend if she was okay with it. But that was it. No one would really want to be friends with the wimpy, anxiety-riddled Squirmy Smee who would always get his treats stolen or wouldn't survive a day on the Isle without the protection of the Hooks.

But this boy did. He genuinely wanted to be friends with him. He went out of his way for Squirmy's comfort. Took food aside for him just because he wanted to. Offered to hide things about him to prevent further embarrassment.

Friend. The word made Squirmy feel... giddy. In ways he hadn't really felt before.

'My first Auradon friend', Squirmy thought in awe,' And he's so cool', he thought with excitement.

Speaking of said friend, he was currently walking on a table that had a vase on it. The boy carelessly kicked the vase off, letting it shatter against the floor. He apologised to Squirmy since some pieces fell close to him, which the latter dodged. The boy seemed more apologetic about him having a vase shard fall close to him than actually breaking the vase itself.

"Why are breaking them anyway?", Squirmy asked. He felt a little bad seeing people's things break.

"Because it'll annoy the grownups. Duh", he said it is like it was the most obvious thing in the world," Especially the old King. He gets antsy when things break", the boy snickered," All Mainlanders do though, really. The people here hate messes. Will give you the stink eye even if you did it on accident", he scoffed.

"You talk about them, the Auradonians, like you're not from here yourself", Squirmy said thoughtfully," Aren't you Auradonian too?".

Squirmy was worried. If his new friend was foreign and only here temporarily, they'd have to leave eventually. And will probably be gone for a long time. And it'll be hard to maintain contact, especially since Squirmy hadn't received a phone yet. Did his new friend have a phone?

The boy wrinkled his nose with a look of some mild disgust, like he was personally insulted by the idea of being from Auradon (and he was, just a little). He let out a small huff, brushing some of his long blonde hair away from his sky-blue eyes.

"I guess I am in a way", the boy said, his lips pulled back in disgust at even admitting it," My home is more a... a territory of Auradon than actually part of Auradon itself, let's say. So I don't really consider myself Auradonian, get it?", he explained. 

"Huh", Squirmy hummed thoughtfully," I... do get it... actually", he said, thinking about the Isle, a little surprised at the commonality between their homes being a part of Auradon but not feeling like its part of Auradon.

King Ben might argue the Isle was always a part of Auradon. But that argument wouldn't erase the feelings of 'otherness' all Isle kids felt when they came to Auradon. The Culture Shock. It won't erase the obvious differences between the Isle of the Lost and Auradon. The Isle, an ugly entity of a mark against the big, beautiful picturesque Auradon. Saying they are one kingdom... won't fix much right now

It was much easier to think of them as separate anyway.

The boy turned to look at him," Do you want the Isle to feel like it's a part of Auradon?", he asked curiously. 

Squirmy thought for a moment," Yeah, I do", he said. 

The boy hummed," I guess that's where our homes differ. My home wants almost nothing to do with Auradon anymore", he said before stopping in front of a door to open it," We're here".

The boy pushed open the door and kept it open to let Squirmy in first. Squirmy murmured a thanks before stepping in. He looked over the railing and down at the party where many people gathered. Luckily no one was on this balcony with them. They were alone up there. They both peeked over the railing to spy down on everyone below them.

"Spot your twin yet?", the boy asked.

"Not yet", Squirmy replied," Find your siblings?".

"Found about 3 so far. Spotted my mother and baby brother though!"

"Really? Where?", Squirmy asked.

"Girlie in the baby blue dress", he said pointing towards a specific door. Squirmy only saw the flare of a baby blue dress skirt disappear behind the door though. 

"Missed her", he said

"She must have gone to put Tootles down for a nap somewhere", the boy stated," Is your dad here too?".

"Yeah. Maybe my brother's with him", Squirmy wondered thoughtfully.

"That'll make it easier to find him at least. We can just look for your dad too", the boy said as he went and sat on the railing, feet dangling. 

"Yeah", Squirmy agreed. He turned to talk to his friend again only to his shock for a bird to fly past. Squirmy stumbled but his friend merely looked surprised and turned around. 

Squirmy's eyes widened as he watched the bird transform into a human child before his eyes. Their outfit was adorned in black-iridescent feathers, much similar to their bird form. The child watched Squirmy with curiosity stark in their dark eyes.

"Birdie", Squirmy heard his friend greet lightly," How's the party?"

Rather than speaking, the bird-child let out a squeaky chirp with a silly grin. His friend chuckled at their enthusiasm.

The bird-child, aptly named Birdie, then drew their attention back to Squirmy, who tensed up a little under their attention.

"Friend?", they asked curiously, head tilting to the side as they walked towards Squirmy. Their walk reminded Squirmy of the thin live chickens Amos Slade kept in his cabin near the outskirts of the Isle. And much like what his friend had done earlier, Birdie began to sniff at him, causing Squirmy to lean away uncomfortably. 

Luckily sensing his discomfort, his friend slid in and made the bird-child back away.

"Birdie, come on, you know the Mainlanders don't like it when we do that", the boy said shooing the child away to out distance between them and Squirmy," Sorry about them. Birdie hardly comes out here much".

"Friend?", Birdie repeated.

"Is this one of your siblings?", Squirmy asked curiously, remembering his friend mentioning he had siblings.

"Yeah! This is Birdie", his friend introduced them happily," And Birdie, this is...", the boy paused for a short minute and turned to Squirmy, face flushed and grinning sheepishly. 

"I uh- didn't get your name earlier", the boy said chuckling in shy embarrassment. 

Squirmy chuckled shyly too, because it just occurred to him too, that he never got his new friend's name either.

Birdie let a squawk that Squirmy didn't understand, but his friend did completely.

"I got distracted!", the boy excused as he heard his sibling sassily ask why he had forgotten to ask Squirmy's name when they met.

Birdie chirped with interest at that excuse. They looked back and forth between the two boys, reading into something neither Squirmy nor the boy were aware of. But they sensed it. And it made them grin excitedly, bouncing on their feet and pointing at Squirmy with a wild gleam in their eyes.

"Wendy!", Birdie squealed. And then began to repeat it over and over in an excited and almost teasing chant. 

Squirmy didn't get it. But his friend, judging by how red his face had become, did.

"It's not like that!", the boy squeaked," We just met today!"

But Birdie continued their incessant teasing, calling Squirmy 'Wendy' much to the Smee boy's confusion. Squirmy could see his friend growing frustrated and decided to intervene swiftly.

"My name is Squirmy", Squirmy said over their fighting. He could see his friend stiffen and pause mid-argument as his mind registered that he spoke.

"Huh? What's that?", the boy asked.

Squirmy's face turned a little pink and he shyly scratched the material of his jacket sleeve," I said... my name is Squirmy. Squirmy Smee".

Birdie let out a few animated trills and chirps, most likely commenting on Squirmy's name (they were, in fact, in fact doing that, and also asking about knowing the VK was a Smee) before turning to their older brother, who was stuck in a trance looking at Squirmy. Birdie elbowed the boy in the rib and he hissed in pain.

"Slightly!", the boy gasped as Birdie elbowed him in the rib," Ow... did you have to go that hard?".

Birdie huffed and pointed back at a waiting Squirmy, who looked confused at the exclamation. 

"Slightly?", Squirmy said confused.

The boy looked back at him with a small smile," Yep, that's my name", he extended a hand for a shake," Slightly Soiled, but just call me Slightly".

"Slightly", Squirmy repeated," Odd name", he said as he shook Slightly's hand. 

"Better than Squirmy though", Slightly said cheekily.

"Wanna do a betting pool on that?", Squirmy asked dryly. 

Slightly cackled," Nah, I'm good", he said with a huge grin.

Birdie watched this interaction with a knowing smile on their face. They looked at Slightly with a smirk and teasingly sang," Wendy~~".

Slightly growled and tried lunging at them, but Birdie transformed back into their bird form before Slightly could get them. Squirmy could hear them cackling in their bird form.

"Oh laugh it up!", Slightly growled glaring at the bird," Do you got a reason for bothering me right now?"

Birdie transformed back into their human form and sat on the balcony railing comfortably. A series of chirps, squawks and trills began, with some actual English that Squirmy understood. Though the only thing Squirmy made out was "brothers" "boy" and "Hook", the last one making Squirmy shiver.

Was Captain Hook here? Squirmy thought worriedly. If such was the case, then Squirmy had to find his father soon. If Captain Hook mistook any of the Auradon children for the Lost Boys as he often mistook Isle children, then they were in for a world of hurt.

"What did they say?", Squirmy asked nervously.

"Eh, they were asking me if I wanted to join a game with the rest of our siblings", Slightly said, sounding a little put off," Hey, um, can I ask you something?".

"Sure", Squirmy said.

Slightly licked his lips," Does... does Captain Hook have kids?", he asked hesitantly. 

"Yeah, he does", Squirmy answered quietly.

Birdie let out even more caws that Squirmy ignored in favour of watching Slightly. 

"How many?", Slightly asked, tilting his head.

"3", Squirmy replied.

"Any boys?"

"Just one. His name is Harry"

"How old?"

"I think he's 19 now..."

Slightly hummed before turning back to Birdie," Sound like your guy?", he asked.

Birdie chirped and Slightly turned back to Squirmy.

"Does his make up make him look like he just spent hours in the shower listening to Lana Del Rey and sobbing?", Slightly asked with complete seriousness. 

"Uh... I guess his eye shadow makes him look... tired?", Squirmy said with uncertainty. 

Slightly turned back to Birdie," Your guy?", he asked.

Birdie chirped and nodded their head.

"Ah, cool", Slightly said before turning back to Squirmy," My siblings are stalking him for funsies", he explained, no fanfare whatsoever which made Squirmy even more gobsmacked. 

"Huh?!"

"They wanted to know if I wanted to join", Slightly shrugged before turning to Birdie," I think I'll stick with my friend here for a bit. We're lookin' for his twin and his dad up here and I'd rather not lose him in the crowd y'know. He's a mainland kid, he won't be used to everyone. You and the others have fun though", he said with a wave.

Birdie nodded and transformed back into their bird form. But before they flew away, Slightly got an idea and called them back.

"Birdie, while you're down there, try to find someone who looks like Squirmy- or find Mr Smee!", Slightly said," And if ya got trouble remembering what he looks like, find Jake. He'll know", the boy said and Birdie gave as good as a nod you can get out of a bird before diving back down into the ground, some guests letting out loud yelps as the bird came too close to them.

"That should sort out the search for your family and my family", Slightly said with a nod of his head," Wanna head back outside? Birdie won't have trouble finding us if we left".

"Yes", Squirmy said immediately. Even atop the balcony away from most of the crowd, Squirmy still felt uncomfortable. Luckily, Slightly didn't wait to grab his hand and take him way.

The walk on the way outside was mostly quiet. Slightly made sure to leave a mess in his wake while Squirmy watched on amused but pensive. His pensive expression coming from his ponderings about his friend that he hadn't gotten to do earlier.

Slightly. It was such an odd name for an Auradon boy. Slightly, who seemed to have dozens of siblings. Slightly who didn't seem to be fazed by Squirmy's VK status. Slightly who met him with a cool exterior and a excitable grin promising chaos. A face more in line with a VK than an AK. That caused Squirmy to wonder. Who were his parents? 

Squirmy didn't know who Slightly's parents were. He figured that they had to be important though, as a lot of the Auradon guests at the party were nobility and royals, seeing as this was the engagement party of the High King and the Lady of the Court. Squirmy didn't get to ponder much further as Slightly spoke up.

"Are you close with Hook's kids?", Slightly asked suddenly. 

"Huh?", Squirmy said quietly," Yeah, I guess".

"You friends with any of them?", Slightly asked.

Squirmy shook his head," They're all way older than me. CJ's 16 and she's the youngest. We used to play together when she was younger but then she got older and got new friends", he rambled," Harriet babysits me and Squeaky a lot. She's the oldest. She's like 24 now I think".

"Harriet, Harry and CJ", Slightly muttered as they reached the outside gardens.

Squirmy continued rambling," Harry's kinda mean a lot. He always steals my squid snacks whenever I get some-"

Slightly growled hearing that, and the growl was animalistic Squirmy jumped hearing it," Jerk", Slightly muttered," I hope my siblings give em hell".

"Aren't you worried about your siblings?", Squirmy asked curiously. 

Slightly snorted," I'd worry about the Hook boy more. My siblings are a lot to handle", he said grinning.

"Harry's pretty unpredictable", Squirmy warned.

"So are my siblings", Slightly grinned," They can take him. If anything, this will be a fun challenge for them", he laughed," Nibs is probably itching to start a fight with him anyway".

Squirmy hoped that wasn't the case. While he was certain Harry wouldn't purposefully hurt a younger kid, Slightly's brother could still get hurt fighting the pirate. 

They got back to their spot (their spot, Squirmy thought with bashful glee) and sat down on the grass. The sky turned pink as the sun was beginning to set. Slightly handed him a container filled with the food he had collected for Squirmy, the latter taking it with a warm thank you before beginning to eat what was inside. As he predicted, it was all delicious. And while they ate, Slightly asked another question.

"And what about Hook?".

Squirmy froze," What about Hook?", he asked hesitantly. 

"What was he like to you?", Slightly asked curiously. There was something in his expression that Squirmy couldn't decipher. But he knew whatever it was, Squirmy's answer would be something that stuck to Slightly more than any other answer he gave for previous questions.

"He- n-n-not great", Squirmy stuttered, rubbing a hand around his throat, imagining the hand of an older man gripping his throat with murderous intent as he mistook Squirmy for someone else completely," How much do you know about him?".

Slightly tilted his head and there it was again. Another expression Squirmy couldn't decipher.

"I'd like to think I know a lot", Slightly said with a shrug.

"He's a lot like what the stories describe him to be", Squirmy said quietly.

Squirmy caught Slightly frowning and brows furrowed. Stuck between feeling sad for his friend and angry at Hook. And there was something else in Slightly that Squirmy noticed. Between the anger and sadness, there was... disappointment. An odd combination for sure. Why would Slightly be disappointed in hearing Captain Hook was a monster?

Slightly then spoke," I'm sorry you had to go through all of that", he said, sounding oddly remorseful for reasons Squirmy couldn't decipher. 

"It's not like it's your fault", Squirmy said with a shrug. But that seemed to be the wrong thing to say.

"But it is partly my fault", Slightly said suddenly. 

"But it isn't. You weren't even born when that happened just like me. It's neither of our fault. It's like what King Ben said. We're not our parents", Squirmy said.

Slightly seemed to go silent at that. Squirmy thought he got through to him but that turned out to be not the case.

"You... don't know... who I am?", Slightly said quietly.

Squirmy furrowed his brows," You're Slightly, we just met today".

"No, you don't know WHO I am", he repeated again.

Squirmy the figured his friend must have meant who he was descended from. 

"Am I supposed to?", Squirmy asked awkwardly. 

Squirmy watched as Slightly's mouth opened and closed as he thought on his reply. But then, Slightly finally replied. 

"I guess not", he said with a shrug, before going in to eat his own food.

Squirmy seemed like he wanted to ask further but then Slightly spoke up again.

"It's getting late. My folks will probably call us in and head home soon", Slightly said thoughtfully. 

All thoughts and questions Squirmy had, came to a stop as he realised his time with his new friend was possibly coming to an end.

"O-Oh", Squirmy said with a hard swallow,"...W-Will you be visiting again soon?", he asked.

"I don't know. I told ya before I usually only come here for special occassions", Slightly explained. 

Squirmy felt his heart break. He just couldn't lose his new friend so soon. And Slightly noticed.

"Don't be sad. I'll try and ask about visiting more often- and hey! Do ya got a phone? I can give send ya texts and we can call each other", Slightly suggested.

Squirmy remembered having received a new cellphone when he first arrived. He had it hidden back in his room at Evie's starter castle. 

"Yeah I do!", Squirmy said happily.

"Neat!" Slightly scratched around in his backpack and pulled out a pen. He took hold of Squirmy's wrist and wrote down a number on his arm.

"I don't have my own phone", Slightly admitted," But this is my Mother's number. I can use this until I can get my own".

"She won't mind?", Squirmy asked.

"Nah, my sibs and I always steal hers for games anyway", he said as he finished writing the number down," And there!"

"-And just in time too", Slightly said as the two boys heard a familiar caw of Birdie flying overhead and someone yelling out Squirmy's name," Seems like Birdie found somebody. Though I don't think its your dad or your brother".

"It's Jay", Squirmy said as he heard the son of Jafar's voice get closer and closer until the older boy found the two of them sitting together.

"Squirmy! There you are, buddy. We've been looking everywhere for ya", Jay said, sighing in relief.

"I was outside", Squirmy replied.

"I can see that", Jay said with a smile as he ruffled Squirmy's beanie-covered head before turning his attention to Slightly," And I see you made a friend. What's up, Slightly? Strange to see you all the way out here".

Squirmy's eyes widened as he looked between the two of them, surprised they know each other.

Slightly snorted," It's strange to be out here", he replied.

Jay snorted," I imagine", he said with a smirk," Thanks for keeping Squirms company here, man. I owe you".

"Eh, I'd do it again for free. Squirmy here is pretty cool", Slightly said, bumping his shoulder against Squirmy's with a fond grin.

Squirmy's face turned a lovely shade of red from that statement.

"Aww your first Auradon friend. Proud of ya, sport", Jay said giving Squirmy a gentle fist bump to the shoulder.

"Really? I'm your first friend here?", Slightly asked.

Squirmy flushed," Yeah...", he said embarrassed. 

Slightly grinned and puffed out his chest proudly," I shall carry that title with honor then!", he said with strong promise.

Squirmy laughed at the sight. It made him feel so warm that Slightly was taking all of this in stride.

Jay chuckled too," Come on, Squirms. Let's get you back to your brother and dad", he said as Squirmy took his hand," Slightly, I think your fam were looking for you earlier".

Slightly chuckled, watching as Birdie flew away," I think they know where I am. I'll be fine", he said before looking back at Squirmy," Don't forget to text later, okay?".

"I won't", Squirmy said with a smile as he committed the number on his arm to memory so he'd never forget it," Bye Slightly!"

Slightly waved back silently and watched as the two VKs walked away. 

Jay led Squirmy by the hand around the castle towards the front entrance. As they walked, Squirmy relayed to him all that happened after he lost Squeaky back at the party, Jay listening to everything the boy had to tell. This was, after all, the most Jay had ever heard him spoke. A tiny piece of the Smee boy's shell has broken off from this newfound friendship. 

"Glad you had a good time despite how it all started", Jay said sincerely," And Slightly's a good kid. He'll look after you if you get in trouble".

"How do you know him?", Squirmy asked quietly.

"Met him at a R.O.A.R tournament in Neverland. Tough kid. One of the only 10 year olds I'm not ashamed to say wiped the floor with me at the game. He's good", Jay whistled, remembering that tournament," You got pretty lucky to meet him".

Something scratched at Squirmy's brain at the mention of Neverland. And like that, pieces of a puzzle he was unaware he had built started to come together.

"How come?", Squirmy asked curiously.

Jay shrugged," The kid's hardly allowed out of Neverland. Plus he and his siblings's got a bit of rep here from what Peony told me. So they don't come here often by choice. Heck, you might even be Slightly's first mainland", he said," Not a lot of kids here can say they befriended a Lost Boy".

And like that, the puzzle was completed. 

"HE'S A WHAT?!"

XXX

Squirmy eyed his phone in his hand, the number he had on his arm now logged onto the phone. He sent the first message, hoping Slightly was the one to answer and not his mother (this made Squirmy ask even more questions).

Slightly('s Mother):

SQUIRMS 😀!!!

Squirmy bit his lip as he tried to find an appropriate way to ask his question. But figured, he might as well just jump in and take the plunge.

SquirmyS:

Why didn't you tell me you were a Lost Boy? 

Squirmy watched for what felt like hours as he watched the phrase showcasing that Slightly was typing below. But then the message came through. It was much shorter than what Squirmy was expecting truthfully, considering Slightly took minutes to type.

Slightly('s Mother):

It never came up.

Squirmy's eye twitched suddenly. He was uncertain why but he felt a spike of anger. Then another message appeared from Slightly. 

Slightly('s Mother):

Does it matter?

Squirmy took a minute to think. Did it matter that Slightly was a Lost Boy?

Squirmy thought back on his younger days, thinking about what the Lost Boys meant to him, as the son of Smee.

The Lost Boys weren't a group that came up in conversation a lot. They were backgrounds from what was known of the Peter Pan story. They weren't named in the history books, the pirates certainly didn't utter their names either. They were a singular unit. Peter Pan's sidekicks. Unnamed and unimportant. 

But Hook.... Hook hated them all the same. The Lost Boys invoked the same murderous rage that Peter Pan invoked as they were his kin, his underlings who followed his every command. And Hook always had trouble telling children apart. Particularly the Smee twins. From a young age, both boys only knew one thing about the Lost Boys: that in the group was a set of twins.

Twins that Hook often mistook the Smees for.

It caused some bitterness amongst the pity the Smee twins usually had for the Lost Boys. In a similar vein of how Harry felt bitter towards Peter and how Harriet felt bitter towards Wendy Darling. Had Pan just left Hook alone-

But then something in Squirmy's thoughts changed. Perhaps Auradon changed his thought process and he was gaining a different perspective. But Squirmy thought of something no one else in his life had really thought to question.

Could Pan even leave Hook alone? 

Captain Hook constantly ranted about how difficult it was to find Peter Pan's hideout. The years he spent searching for it. 

A grown man... obsessively searching for the home of several young boys... so he could kill them.

Perhaps then, it wasn't Pan who couldn't leave Hook alone. It was Hook who couldn't leave Pan alone. It was the grown man, who could've licked his wounded stump where his hand once was and sail away like the rest of the crew wanted to. But made the active choice to stick around and stalk the boy who made a bad decision, looking for any moment to strike him down. 

Peter Pan and the Lost Boys were as much victims of Hook as Squirmy, his brothers and Hook's own children were.

Squirmy's bitterness was not made for the Lost Boys. And it certainly didn't feel right to continue to leave it on them, for all the events of what happened.

Slightly... Slightly blamed himself for Hook causing Squirmy and other kids harmed. He felt guilty. Slightly, who spent the entire afternoon with him, feeding him, keeping him company, taking care to not put Squirmy in uncomfortable spots. 

Slightly cared. Slightly was a friend. Slightly was his friend. 

SquirmyS:

No. I guess not

The End

[marshmallowprotection]

You know one platonic relationship i dont consider much often is saeran and Vanderwood. But i think it could work and be beneficial for saeran, id imagine if vanderwood decided to stick around he'd look out for saeran in the same way he does for saeyoung. And none of the saerans really have to worry about feeling like a bad person in comparison bc vanderwood has done just as much if not more. They could really get into some conversations about feeling complicated about what they've done without the tension the rest of the rfa and saeyoung might bring. Its nice to have someone other than saeyoung to talk to, someone just a bit older with more experience.

Of course! There's always something beneficial in having a friend in your life who can guide you when you've got no experience otherwise for something. In the context of Saeran's Good Ending, Vanderwood could make a tight bond with the RFA if he wanted to do so. I'm sure he'd be closer with the twins. Vanderwood is like an older sibling who is tired of your crap when it comes to Saeyoung. With Saeran, we can assume it's more of a dynamic like "wow, you're nothing like your twin at all, what a relief."

Once everyone is able to get past what Vanderwood had to do to be able to defeat the agency, things will smooth over with time. It wasn't the best idea, but you can't play fair with an agency that's got a gun to your head every step of the way. Saeran wouldn't mind speaking to Vanderwood now and again. He knows that he looked after Saeyoung for years... and Saeran feels grateful that his brother had someone in his life that helped him stay alive despite the odds, even if everything in the agency was cutthroat and Vanderwood can argue that he only took care of Saeyoung to save his own skin.

Vanderwood is a solid friend once you get under his skin. He may not admit it, but it's far too easy for him to go soft on people. It's a trait he isn't proud of since those natures get killed readily... but hey, being a softie for a brat dismantled the agency and gave him a real chance to go back home to his family who he clearly cared about after all that time away from them. What hasn't Vanderwood seen in his years in the agency? Nothing passes this guy.

So, yeah, for Saeran, we could say that Vanderwood could be a good place to turn to if he ever needs someone to talk to about... well, the things he did in Mint Eye. He might be working to make peace with his actions but those feelings of guilt don't just go away overnight, it lingers no matter how much work you do on yourself. It's the name of the game. Vanderwood doesn't judge. He's done and said worse for the name of their job. Why would he say something to judge Saeran for anything?

Saeran wouldn't feel comfortable talking to the RFA about the things he did in Mint Eye. Jumin said it was forgiven and forgotten on Night 10 since Saeran was willing to work with them to save Saeyoung, but we know how Saeran is. He wants to own up to what he's done, make things right, apologize, and do better in the future. That means he wants to be honest about his misdeeds. Even if they've forgiven him, it doesn't mean he's forgiven himself. So, who better to talk to about that than Vanderwood?

Vanderwood doesn't mince words. He won't lie to you. He'll tell you like it is and somehow, it's helpful. Maybe what Saeran needs for this is someone to tell him the honest truth without sugarcoating things.

[qqueenofhades]

Since you mentioned that you may be taking requests and also that you did that Dreamling oneshot the other day, I would like very much to humbly request an “every one of my family members is an eldritch abomination myself included however I should very much like to just go to uni and hopefully not destroy the entire world thanks” girlfriends, Rose and Nile?

It goes without saying that there are many things about this whole situation -- uprooting her life, moving to a new country, becoming her brother's legal guardian, helping him adjust while still feeling horrendously guilty about not saving him from his previous abusive situation sooner, sorting through her wealthy and late great-grandmother's extensive estate, and trying to start a graduate degree, while the mellifluous tones of Yakety Sax echo constantly through said country's government and she's not sure if the whole place is about to explode in a puff of clown-car smoke -- which are very, very stressful. Rose has always been good at making up more things to worry about, but even she doesn't need to search for ways to whet her anxiety, because it's already there and then some. Not to mention the whole part where she nearly destroyed the universe, became a dream vortex and then un-became it, inadvertently helped her friend have a baby with her dead husband, and almost agreed to let her creepy immortal great-uncle murder her for the greater good, before calamity was averted at the last minute and she turned out to be something called a Child of the Endless. Surely that won't be a problem again. Right?

In any event, amid this whirlwind of chaos, change, anxiety, and effort, Rose is very grateful to have met Nile Freeman, and they've taken to spending more and more time together. They have instantly bonded as young black women from America (or rather, Rose thinks Nile is from America, but she hasn't actually said) who both live in London and have endured the headaches of obtaining graduate degrees in history. Nile finished her PhD at KCL a few years ago, and is now doing that oh-so-fun early-career-researcher shuffle as she decides what she wants to do next, though she's made several cryptic references to wealthy parents who live in Malta and send her enough money to make sure she doesn't sleep under a bridge. "I appreciate it," she says as they walk through Bloomsbury, en route to Senate House so Rose can use the University of London's main library. "And considering all the disasters happening back in 2018, I was lucky to survive, truly. But sometimes I still want to do it on my own, you know."

"Mmm-hmm." Rose looks at her curiously. "What exactly do your parents do, by the way?"

"They..." Nile pauses. They come to a halt at the crosswalk and wait for the light. "You know, this and that."

Rose finds this answer rather vague, but maybe it's a sensitive subject, or Nile just doesn't want to talk about it yet. After all, they've only known each other for a few months, and Rose can't deny that she's very keen to impress the older girl. Nile is so gorgeous, so self-assured, with a strange eerie sheen to her skin and eyes that sometimes looks almost unearthly, but she's definitely the most normal person that Rose has recently met, and their interactions are the most refreshing part of her life. She has a bit (or maybe more than a bit) of a crush on Nile, but is too shy to see if that is actively reciprocated. As the light turns green and they cross, Rose says, "Are you from Malta, then? I thought you were American."

"Ethiopia," Nile says. "I was born there, at least. My parents adopted me a... a long time ago."

There definitely seems to be something she isn't saying, but Rose decides to let it pass, and they spend an enjoyable afternoon working at Senate House. Afterward, they trek off into the Bloomsbury streets in search of dinner, select a charming underground restaurant, and sit down in a candlelit corner. Nile orders her steak rare -- rare enough, in fact, that it's still practically mooing on the plate -- and Rose says jokingly, "Don't tell me, let me guess. You're a vampire."

Nile, who has just taken a sip of some indeed rather blood-red wine, chokes, starts coughing, and takes several minutes to compose herself, as Rose apologizes profusely. But she isn't laughing or treating it like a joke; she looks deeply startled. "How did you -- "

"Wait." Rose frowns. Oh no. Not her nice, normal, lovely friend who-she-kind-of-wants-to-be-her-girlfriend. Not in the one relationship and/or person she foolishly thought was not at all magical, creepy, supernatural, insane, or otherwise weird. "Are you...? I was just joking. I didn't..."

There's a very, very long pause. Nile seems to be weighing something up. At last she says, "If, hypothetically, I was... well, something like that, would you be upset?"

"I, uh." Rose considers what to say. After all, her horizons of what is possible have been recently and drastically broadened, and she's certainly not about to claim out of hand that vampires don't exist. "I don't think so?"

"I'm..." Nile looks around shiftily to make sure that all the other diners are happily absorbed, then lowers her voice anyway. "Technically half-vampire, half-djinn. My dads are one each. Nicky's a vampire and Joe's a djinn, and they sired me together, so it's... a long story."

"Okay." Rose blinks several times. "So your parents are...."

"Magical creatures, yeah." Nile eyes her. "You're taking this very well. Wait, are your parents also some kind of...?"

"My biological parents are both dead, but it turns out that I'm descended from something called the Endless." Rose feels awkward saying it, but there it is. "Do you, er, know what those are?"

"I don't think so. I could ask?"

"My great-uncle is the King of Dreams," Rose confesses, in something of a rush. "Lord Morpheus. Do you know him?"

"Maybe. It's been a long time, I can't remember everyone we've crossed paths with over the centu -- years." Nile nods her thanks as the waiter sets down a fresh basket of bread. "But again, I could -- "

"Wait. Centuries? How old are you?"

There is another long and deeply awkward pause. Then Nile says, "Technically, nineteen. But I was sired in 1104, so that means..." She calculates, then ventures, "Nine hundred and eighteen?"

"I knew it," Rose mutters. She is apparently just a magnet for every ever-living (literally) eldritch weirdo in the Western Hemisphere, and this isn't even touching the fact that her likewise-seemingly-nice-and-normal history professor/thesis supervisor is evidently also an ageless immortal and her aforementioned creepy King of Dreams great-uncle is valiantly attempting to not only date him, but ask Rose for advice. Truly. Her life is ridiculous.

[ruby-red-inky-blue]

Talk Shop Tuesday! Do you fully delete everything you cut out of your drafts, or do you save all your scraps even if you know you're never, ever, ever going to use them? (And if the latter, would you consider sharing anything?)

Ooh, what a fun question!

My usual MO is to just delete. I tend to write myself into corners because i'm such a pantser and never know where the story is going, and a lot of times i just have to come back, delete like a full page and restart. And, knowing myself, if I saved everything I'd deleted, I'd probably end up putting it back in.

But for The World Through a Scope I do keep a scrap doc - I've only started it up like a year ago so most of the fic still didn't get its scraps saved. But I've been tinkering with the ending of this fic pretty much since I started (in 2017, God help me) and adding and adding to it since then. And now that I am *so* close to actually getting there, I've had to kill a lot of darlings. Some of them I may still tinker with and put back in, but here are some scraps that probably won't make it:

“Stop.” She frowns at him, with the hard look in her eyes that she could probably take on the whole world with. “It doesn’t have to hurt, okay? If the thought of you doesn’t make him feel like shit, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you. It just means that he loves you, and he’s happy you’re alive. And that’s still love.”

Her hand digs into his leg so hard it takes effort to keep quiet.

“Try to remember that,” she says, in a flat, hard voice. “I’m trying, too. If we’re gonna be happy, we have to want it first, right?”

“I guess,” he mutters and leans his head against the wall. He’s not convinced. Mothma seems to think this is the way to happy, and he can’t exactly describe it as painless. He feels drained, and a little dizzy. If Mothma gives him homework again, he doesn’t know if he’ll do it.

(He’s still grateful. But he wouldn’t tell her that. She’d only ask why, and he’d have to admit that his clearest memory of his mother’s face, his brother’s, his grandmother’s, was that of them cold and bloodied and torn, and he used to be so scared the photos would only remind him, but that they didn’t. And that that feels like a mercy he never thought he'd be granted in this lifetime, and probably not after that. He wouldn't tell her that. It would only make her ask about religion again.)

.

“What would you tell your mother, if you could tell her something?”

“Just that…,” his voice falters and he shrugs, casts his eyes down with an embarrassed smile, “… that I’m gonna be okay.”

He doesn’t think he’s ever cried in this chair before, and he wouldn’t have thought it would be the thought of his mother that would do it. But it makes sense – with her, there’s nothing mixed in, no shame or guilt or disappointment, just –

He presses the heels of his hands to his eyes, takes a breath, puts himself together. “Sorry.”

Mothma shakes her head and offers him a tissue. He declines.

“It’s a good thing. Allowing yourself to feel it is important. The idea is to live with your pain, and not in spite of it.”

He smiles wrily. “That’s very clever.”

Mothma raises a brow at him. “Thank you, detective.”

“Actually, detective isn’t really… well, it’s not really the right title. I was never an American cop.”

“It takes you ten months to tell me I’m addressing you incorrectly?”

“’s not a big deal. I know what you mean, but… you can just use my name, maybe.”

“Alright.” She reaches for her book and makes a note, then looks up and adds: “You held off on telling me that so you could distract me with it when you needed to.”

He shrugs.

“Very well,” she says with a slight smile.

.

“Didn’t you get shot like, last week? What on earth are you doing here?”

“He also fell from a first-floor landing onto concrete,” Kay says flatly. “That will probably be the larger issue going forward.”

Cassian slowly lowers himself onto his chair with clenched teeth. There’s no denying he feels like shit, and probably no hiding it, either. “I’d say it’s a draw for now.”

“You shouldn’t be here,” Kes repeats, his tone now one of open concern.

“Probably not,” he says, attempting a shrug and regretting it immediately.

“You should go home, Andor,” Kes says, in a voice that reminds Cassian instantly that Kes has become a father while he was gone.

His head is still pounding, and he is almost ready to admit defeat. “Alright. Catch me up to speed and I will.”

“I would not trust him on that,” Kay says, still without looking up from his monitor.

Cassian catches himself thinking he may have missed these idiots after all.

.

“You seem… better,” Kes says slowly. “Better than before, I mean.”

“I seem better since I nearly died?” Cassian gives back, raising a brow at his colleague.

Kes blushes a little, but then throws Cassian a sharp look and nods. “I… yeah.”

Cassian considers denying it, then allows himself a grim smile and gets to his feet. “Well, Dameron. We’ll make a fed of you yet.”

.

“You… you said you don’t have a lot of pictures of your father, right?”

“Only the ones Saw had,” she says quietly, frowning at him. “Why?”

“Because I’ve been thinking… The DEA does. From a few years back. They’re in the file.”

“Right.”

“I wouldn’t… They are not good pictures. I mean, they are bad quality, but they’re also… He doesn’t look well in them. But still, they… they exist.”

“Draven would kill you if you tried anything, Cassian,” she says, but it doesn’t sound like her heart is in it.

“Kes would do it. He feels bad for you. Actually, he asked if he could do anything. Kay would, too.”

She scoffs, but smiles a little.

.

oh, and way back when I did post some snippets under #from the cutting room floor

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

double-asking for the roadtrip au because *heart eyes emoji*

the roadtrip fic has hardly and solid plot or a working title yet but heck it's fun akskdjfhskfns

"Where's Jason?" Asks Duke, flat-out on a plush hotel bed that feels like a freaking cloud. Tim stretched out along one side of it, and if it doesn't say something about how big these beds are that the two of them, him and gangly Tim Drake, are both sprawled comfortably in the same one, Duke doesn't know what to say about that.

Tim doesn't look up from his laptop. "Probably pissing off Cass," he replies.

Duke raises an eyebrow, which Tim doesn't see, because he's staring at the computer screen. "On purpose?"

Tim shrugs. "Probably not, but also? Possibly. I don't think the whole thing with Steph is on purpose, though." Duke watches upside-down as a corner of Tim's mouth quirks up.

"Alright, I'll bite. How does Steph play into this?" 'Cause it's not like Duke hasn't noticed the rivalry between Cassie and Jason, they're not that subtle about it. He just hasn't asked. Not his monkeys, not his circus, right? He should use that one around Dick, see what the former circus kid thinks of that very appropriate saying.

Tim sighs. "I mean- you might get caught in the middle of it too. Cass is frustrated enough to stop pulling punches, at this point."

How Tim knows that, without a single word from the Batgirl in question for the duration of today's drive, Duke definitely won't question. If Tim is some kind of potential mind-reading meta, he's not going to be the one to out him.

Tim finally closes the laptop, looks at Duke. "Cass... does not," he emphasizes not, "Like Jay. I won't call it hate, because hate would have to have love to reflect from, but... it's close. It's the killing."

"I figured."

Tim nods. "And Jason hates being hated. They really don't get along in the best of circumstances, and, like... Cass can't turn off her abilities, you know?" He frowns. "Being stuck in an enclosed space with the entire family and all our emotional crap? Sucks for her and I don't think she expected it."

Duke remembers the excited, emoji-filled messages he'd gotten from Cassie about this trip the past few weeks. He doesn't think she expected it, either. "And Steph?"

Tim looks him directly in the eyes, which is freaking unnerving because Tim has those icy blue eyes like Bruce that look like he's staring directly into you sometimes, when he's not looking at you from behind messy-long hair. "Come on," he says, almost abruptly, then relaxes back against the cushiony headboard of the massive bed.

He sighs, loud and grating in the quiet of the room. There's a gorgeous view out the window, but the quiet, free of road noise and navigational conversational chatter, might be the best part. Duke stares out the window, overlooking a shockingly blue lake, watches a floating dock bob in the wind instead of watching the thinly veiled emotions crossing Tim's face. Tim is like a steel trap a lot of the time, expressionless as Red Robin but when he's himself, really, he doesn't hide so much. Duke doubts he really wants him to see all that, though, if he could even parse it all out.

Finally, after long enough that it almost makes Duke jump, Tim speaks again. "Steph has been spending a lot of time with Jason lately." Something about his tone, or maybe the words themselves, sounds weirdly deliberate. It takes Duke a minute to figure out why.

He pushes himself up on an elbow to stare at Tim, not upside-down. "They've got something going on," he fills in, and, yeah, that checks out.

Tim snorts. "Heck if I know. I don't think they're, like... dating? But there's... definitely something there."

"Mutual crush," Duke fills in again, because that definitely fits with what he's seen.

"Something like that," Tim says. "If my ex girlfriend, who's currently one of my best friends in general, and my brother have a thing for each other... who gets the shovel talk?"

Duke, to his credit, doesn't burst out laughing like he wants to do. "Hell if I know," he replies, then laughs because he just repeated what Tim had said a second ago. "So Jason is pissing Cassie off by hanging around with Steph?"

"Yep," Tim replies, popping the P. "I wonder if B is aware of this whole thing," he mutters.

Duke grins. "Tell him. Then he can handle the shovel talk."

Tim looks at him, startled and considering at the same time, then grins back.