#the title is a reference to a mountain goats song

[isbergillustration]

Mole

[chiropteracupola]

they can see right through me / of course they can...

[collaboration with @dxppercxdxver again.]

[lightning-kachow]

Just Me Against the Sky | Self Para

Date: October 2023 Featuring: Lightning, Dusty Warnings: Lightning McQueen's midlife crisis, bad parenting

Lightning takes a small step. And then another

Eventually, Lightning did call Dusty back. It wasn’t as glamorous or triumphant as it would have been in a sports movie. Lightning didn’t slam the phone down and announce “I quit!” as a Bruce Springsteen song hit its crescendo in the background and the sun rose over the trees. He just told Dusty that maybe he was right— maybe it was time to take a temporary step back from the circuit, to focus on his personal life.

Dusty said he understood. He sounded, maybe, a little annoyed that it had taken Lightning so long to get back to him— but the fact that he hadn’t dogged Lightning for a callback over the past few weeks signaled to the athlete that this had never been that serious for Dusty. At least, it wasn’t anymore.

When he got off the call, Lightning once again expected everything to be very cinematic. He expected the headlines to roll in: MCQUEEN QUITS! “TEMPORARY STEP BACK” = THE KISS OF DEATH? WHAT HAPPENED TO LIGHTNING MCQUEEN’S CAREER: A RETROSPECTIVE. But instead it was just Lightning, and his blank-screened phone, and his empty apartment. 

And now that nobody had reacted, Lightning realized he didn’t have anyone to tell if he wanted to. Mack, Harv, the rest of the team— they’d have too many questions. What did it mean for their jobs, what did it mean for his career, did this mean he was really giving up? And Lightning didn’t know the answers yet. He’d answer their questions when this came up at the team meeting.

He could tell Agustin, but he felt that he’d bothered Agustin with his problems enough lately. He couldn’t tell Cass who was practically a stranger, or even Gen, who was worlds away from being a parent. He definitely couldn’t tell Cruz, who wasn’t speaking to him. Maybe he could tell Doc… Lightning really considered that one. But instead he got stuck on that sobering realization: he really didn’t have many people in his life.

For someone who’d been so scared of being all alone, he’d really done it to himself anyway, hadn’t he? What a depressing paradox. You try so hard to be everyone’s hero that you wind up a total loser.

Well, the whole point of this was supposed to be changing that. Starting with setting things right with Dusty. Lightning had thought that doing so would make everything else fall into place, but now that Lightning had done it, he still felt pretty lost.

He wandered over to his kitchen and absently started making a smoothie. Berries, greens, that collagen mix Lightning used to tell Cruz about— he thought of her again as he shook some into the blender. Everything seemed to remind him of her these days, and Lightning was starting to realize that was the pain of caring about someone. You still cared about them, even when you were far away (even if not physically so). 

That was it, wasn’t it? His next step. He had to get through to Cruz. And he couldn’t force it, just as Agustin had advised him not to. He had to listen to her. And he had to back off if she told him to. 

You can’t force her to forgive you. And hounding her, begging her, that’s guilt tripping and isn’t right. But apologize, sincerely. Let her decide what to do with it and accept her decision.

Apologize. Sincerely.

Lightning had never been sincere a day in his life. Or maybe he had, he’d just been so scared of it, he hadn’t let himself really feel it. But maybe it wasn’t too late to start. This was important. And sometimes important things were hard. 

…Maybe he could build up to it, though. Prove himself in other ways first. That way, when he asked for Cruz’s forgiveness, maybe he’d finally feel like he had earned it.

He put down his phone and pressed “blend,” and his eyes wandered to a Magick Grand Prix magazine he’d left open on the countertop. There was an article about youth programs needing more support, not just coaches and manpower, but monetary support, equipment, the kind of stuff that you just couldn’t get unless you had funding, and funding could be scarce.

He thought about how hard Cruz worked to try and get her program funding. And he had the beginning of an idea.

It wouldn’t solve everything. But maybe it could be the beginning. 

He just hoped it wasn’t too late.

[coffinsister]

If it's not to much to ask, what did you have on your coffin playlist? And if you're taking suggestions, I would say Annabelle by creeper fits

Here is Soleil's Ultimate List of Coffincest Songs, that I could actually remember, that I put together this morning just for u Anonnie !!!!

If I say Where you at - Ayesha Erotica do I get shot mid-sentence or after finishing the sentence 

I was really close to including ManEater - Nelly Furtado here but besides the title and the You wish you never ever even met me at all line it doesn't really fit them lol

Cannibal - Kesha 

Someone Gets Hurt - Mean Girls Musical 

(You wanna click this link you wanna click it so so bad)

An Unhealthy Obsession - Synthetic Orchestra 

Obsessed With You - The Orion Experience

Stalker's Tango - AutoHeart

Kuroneko No Tango 

Masochism Tango - Tom Lehrer

(Click on this link click on this link click on this link)

Love Me Dead - Ludo 

I Love You Like An Alcoholic - The Taxpayers 

No Children - The Mountain Goats (This is very Decay route of their part)

Sex With A Ghost - Teddy Hyde

In my Room - Insane Clown Posse (Lowkey Cementary Girl fits them too)

Sadistic Vampire - Meri Yapura 

Magnet by them is also pretty good I think (Btw I need everybody to know that the guy voice here is how I think Andrew sounds like, I have many approved votes of reference for this.)

Sociopath (Lol this one is just ASPD Ashley propaganda but also Decay Route vibes)

Romance is Boring - Los Campesinos 

Normal People Things - LoveJoy

Pacify Her - Melanie Martinez 

505 - Artic Monkeys 

Crazy Girls - TOOPOOR

You're So Creepy - Ghostown

Diablo - (This Song is Decay Route Ashley to me)

This Is Love 

Me and My Husband - Mitski (This is how Ashley sees Andrew lol)

A Pearl - Mitski (This just reminds me of Andrew's nightmares tbh)

Tag you're It - Melanie Martinez (When he chases her on the Decay Route something something I'm mentally unwell)

[star-spangled-bastard]

For Sacred Geometry: 8, 17, 23, 25, 29 👀

8. Did you cut something out of the outline or an early draft? What was it and why did you decide to cut it?

This wasn't a scene that got cut but in my notes I had originally thought about inserting more Board/Speak from Northmoor over time. Mainly this wasn't done because it wouldn't have worked for dialogue, even though it probably could have been done for narration. Another reason I didn't go with it is because we see it from him in one of the few in-game memos and it was from very early on. So he either adopted that style of drafting messages early on after meeting The Board and then stopped over the years, or he kept it up but still started doing that very early on. I would have preferred it as a slow, creeping build up of more and more Board/Speak over time as his powers progress. So I just abandoned the concept completely, aside from his one memo to Ash when he's still in the Foundation, because it's in line with what we see in-game and there aren't really any other written out messages in the plot.

17. Talk about the fic’s ending. Why did you end it where you did?

I really really considered ending it at chapter 14 with The Board's final message. But I wanted to tie up the plot line of Ash leaving instead of leaving that open. We know Darling became Head of Research in 1995 and what better time for Ash to decide he needs to retire than after All That happened. I think it was good closure.

23. How did you come up with the title?

This was the rare case of having the title before I even had an idea for the plot. I think I only had the concept "I need to write a fic about Northmoor's term, and probably his conflict with Ash" and knew that I would call it that. The Foundation DLC has so much emphasis on the geometric structure of the pyramid and the nail, as well as the ley lines in the House. I was thinking about Ash's tape that goes over all the uses of triangles in various symbolism. The combination of the concept of sacred geometry in nature, combined with Northmoor's view of The Board as some divine entity, and even Ash's reverence for the Foundation and Oldest House just kind of created the perfect storm.

25. Share your favorite line

Oh this is a tough one. Off the top of my head, this was one I really liked:

A tear of equal parts frustration and betrayal wells up in his eye, until it spills over and sizzles into vapor before it completes its arc down his cheek.

29. If you made a playlist, talk about the songs on it and share a link

Of course I made a playlist! Here's the link to the full thing. (I promise it's not all angsty. just. most of it.) Linking some highlights under the cut along with the reasoning

Curses by The Crane Wives is kind of uncanny in how well it fits the plot!

Change Your Heart of Die by The Midnight is like perfect "end of act 2" material (bonus reference to the Crossroads)

Sun Bleached Flies by Ethel Cain gets a mention because I listened to it so much while writing the scene where Northmoor confronts The Board in the Astral Plane. It really helped shape the tone of some of the later scenes. the line "god loves you but not enough to save you" hits hard.

Have to Explode by The Mountain Goats the context, the resignation of it all

Like a River Runs by Bleachers very applicable to the epilogue, despite its tone the grief is there

Each Coming Night by Iron and Wine this one really hit me recently. I had already finished writing the final chapters but it suits them

Long Long Time by Linda Ronstadt I'd never heard this song before and randomly came across it in recommendations while writing the final scene of Ash and Northmoor in the Maintenance sector and it instantly destroyed me emotionally

Fire in the Driveway by Soccer Mommy this was one of the first songs I had in mind for the tone of this story and it's interesting because it's another where the lyrics work extremely well. but over the course of writing the plot the dynamic between Ash and Northmoor becomes much less strained so it doesn't fit their dynamic as much by the end

Strangers by Ethel Cain this is the most appropriate final song I can think of in this case. The opening lines are just. damn. Second only to the line towards the end "don't think about it too hard or you'll never sleep a wink at night again" With lines like "my memory restricted to a polaroid in Evidence" like. I can't not associate it with what happened to Northmoor.

[stuffydollband]

It’s Transgender Awareness Week and that happens to line up with a very special Day 10 of talking about my upcoming album, “Ganymede Gives Up The Ghost”!

Why’s it special, you ask? Well, some of you may recognize the illustration for today’s song. I’m truly overjoyed to announce that none other than comedian, writer, and all around nerd-stuff extraordinaire, Riley Silverman, has loaned her vocal talent to provide the voice of The Narrator!

“There’s a Narrator? But this is like a music album, right?” You ask.

Yes, it is! But I’m *theatrical* and *artsy*, so I wanted to amp up the drama for the narrative of Our Hero (don’t know who Our Hero is? Go check out the last few days of posts and learn more about her!)

I’m so tremendously honored to have the chance to work with Riley, who now holds the title of my first official collaboration, and I can’t thank her enough for being a part of such a personal and weird project. If you aren’t familiar with her, or even if you are, please check out “Strumpets and Flagons”, the thirsty-sword-lesbians TTRPG podcast she did last spring, and “Troubled Waters”, which is a podcast on the MaxFun network that she writes for (I know some of my fans are as big of MaxFun fans as I am!)

So, let’s gab about today’s song, shall we? Today’s song is called “All The Friends Fall Off”.

It’s a song about loneliness. About watching your social circle diminish as you get older, enumerating the people I’ve lost along the way and ruminating on how I lost them. Some for good reasons, some for bad reasons, some for ridiculous reasons. It’s about learning the lesson that you can’t hold onto everything, you can’t make everyone stay, but if you’re good and kind and keep trying, you’ll find new people who will love you, and who you’ll love in return.

Lyrically, I frame the lesson through a lens I’ve always used to connect with friends: music. I replay a few memories with references to songs that have tied me to other people. It’s a weird way of writing that simultaneously felt very foreign and very personal.

A preview of the lyrics:

“‘Game Shows Touch Our Lives’ by The Mountain Goats

You don’t like the cigarettes, they make you choke

I don’t want to move on, but that’s what I do

I just want to waste my time with you”

Let’s make this one fun: what’s the silliest reason you’ve lost a friendship over? I wanna hear about it!

[teddykaczynski]

i’m so excited for jenny from thebes. have you heard of jenny from thebes? it’s the yet to be released upcoming album from american indie rock band the mountain goats, fronted by john darnielle. i can’t wait for jenny from thebes. jenny from thebes takes the character of jenny, mentioned and referenced a few times in john darnielles work but besides the song titled after her, most of the songs that reference her only do so in passing, and jenny from thebes expands upon her and definitively connects her with other existing songs such as color in your cheeks from the 2002 album all hail west texas. jenny from thebes comes out october 27. i am jenny’s biggest fan. jenny from thebes will be the greatest album ever released. i am waiting on the edge of my seat for jenny from thebes.

[waitineedaname]

13, 18, and/or 56 for the writer ask game? :0

13. what’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

oh that's a good question. hm...... years ago, I saw someone talking about why you should avoid referring to characters as "the brunette" or "the shorter one" -- it creates distance, which feels weird if you're trying to build any sort of relationship between the characters. so now I try to use those kinds of epithets very sparingly, only when the detail is immediately relevant to what's going on or if the pov character actually does not know the other character's name

18. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

AFTER. I'm dogshit at coming up with titles and I almost always save it for last. usually the only time I can think of a title on my own is if it's something I found very funny while titling a google doc draft (hot dilfs in your area!!1! is an example of this) but otherwise, I usually come up with titles by putting my phone on shuffle and looking up the lyrics to the songs that come up until something feels fitting. it's a pain in the ass, but it did force me to connect greedling with Woke Up New by The Mountain Goats and I will never recover

56. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

not to keep mentioning dialogue, but that's usually what I'm proudest of! I feel like I can usually get a pretty good handle on a character's voice (USUALLY. sometimes it's a struggle) and it comes across best in the dialogue

[highly-opinionated-art]

I wanna share with you guys some traditional art I've been making recently- since November I've been doing this album-of-the-week thing, and a few weeks into the year I started picking out my favorite line from the album of the week and doing a little illustration for it. If you can call it that- they're just quick, rough little pictures, more experimental than polished. Some are better than others. But I have some watercolors and acrylic paints that I never used before this project, and a hell of a lot of markers and gel pens and colored pencils that need to be used, too. I've been learning a lot and getting some use out of what I have at the same time, so that's good enough for me! Here's the first quarter of 2024 done:

Albums/artists/lyrics under the cut, plus some additional commentary because why not.

(2024 part 2)

Week 1: "I wanna be what my body wants me to be" is from the song Townie, from the album bury me at makeout creek by mitski. I actually kinda hated this whole album, but Townie is a tolerable song.

Week 2: "it never hurts to give thanks to the local gods, you never know who might be hungry" is from the song Younger, from the album In League With Dragons, by the Mountain Goats. Mixed feelings about the album. Mostly just mad that I can't just put a mostly transparent blue layer over everything when I want it to look like night with watercolor the way I can with digital art.

Week 3: "that we won't run, and we won't run, and we won't run" is from the song King And Lionheart, from the album My Head Is An Animal by Of Monsters And Men, which is a meh album but I love this song.

Week 4: "Make it a dirt dance floor again" is from the song Bleed It Out, from the album Minutes to Midnight by Linkin Park. GREAT album. The art looks just like poop but I swear the paint came out of the tube like that, I didn't mix it with anything or anything!

Week 5: "gotta be more to life than just try, try, try" from the song Half A Mile Away, from the album 52nd Street by Billy Joel. This was actually the first one I made, I went back and did the first 4 a little later.

Week 6: "I'm gonna keep on dancing" is from the song Pink Pony Club, from the album The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess by Chappell Roan. The album is ok, I guess? Not my favorite but this track is a really good one.

Week 7: "maybe they'll love me when I finally get out of this town" is from the song Made For This, from the album Built To Last, by Arrows in Action, which is a FANTASTIC album, like DAMN.

Week 8: "together, Wendy, we can live with the sadness, I love you with all the madness in my soul" is from the song Born To Run, by the album of the same name by Bruce Springsteen. It was really hard to get a picture of this one for some reason. Metallic gel pen might have something to do with it.

Week 9: "inside, everybody's hiding something" is from the song Slide, from the album No Angel by Dido. I LOVE Dido. I meant to add more masks in the picture, ok. I got lazy. I should have just made the other ones bigger...

Week 10: "tomorrow's just another day" is from the song Don't Cry 2020 (which was released in 2017), from the album How Will You Know If You Never Try by the band COIN. Forgettable album, but the art is of my room, but I didn't get up and walk 10 steps to get a reference, just did it from memory. The window is too small and not in the right place, and I just changed up the patterns on the blanket because I didn't feel like checking.

Week 11: "if it's ever gonna happen, it's gotta happen here I am" (which seems like it should be missing a comma, but it's like that on purpose) is from the song Shine On Me, from the album Pure Fiction by Eric Hutchinson (not his best work I fear).

Week 12: "make new symbols, make new signs" is from the title track from the album New Beginning, by Tracy Chapman. AMAZING album, I loved it. I'm completely pissed that I messed up the art, though. I thought I had it going for me. Boo.

Week 13: "I don't look important, so they're telling me to wait" is from the song WaldorfWorldwide, from Good Charlotte's self titled debut album. Self portrait of me, a teacher, being mistaken for a student at an event, which is a frequent and frustrating occurrence. This album is ok, but I think they were pretty clearly still developing at this point in their career.

[honeyblockm]

25,12,15

25. Have you ever upset yourself with your own writing?

yes. many times. writing process typically swings between getting really emo about the characters and going full sickos mode about it all. things that I would call upsetting would probably be all of I speak as one about to die. mmm tragedy. and the torture scenes in NO SAFE PLACE. especially the part about Lazar. Um. Crumbling like a wet cookie? turns out writing torture deals psychic damage to me, who knew. other fics have been sad for me and lived in my brain for a while but i would not call them upsetting on the same level.

12. Do you have a playlist for your current WIP(s)? Share it!

I don't have playlists for my current WIPs. I haven't really gotten into the habit, though I totally should, but usually my character/relationship playlists serve the same function. Anyways I did make one for the cquackity / karlnapity & cdream slasher wedding fic that is currently. not being worked on at all. it is. entirely made up of songs from Bleed Out and MCR songs.

15. How do you come up with titles for your fics/chapters?

I use a lot of song lyrics! A lot of mountain goats lyrics. 13 out of my 32 works use tmg lyrics for titles. I look for songs that I feel like match the vibe or theme of the fic. The Mountain Goats have many songs with many themes. Otherwise I like using lines from the source text, if the fic in question was inspired by or was an au of something. Silver Dollar is from Arguing with the Ghost of Peter Laughner About His Coney Island Baby Review by TMG. because like. Dead guy. Elegy. gestures vaguely. put on your chairman mao coat because it pleases me to have that as a title and because commandante can be about dream and sapnap actually, if you look at it from the angle i'm standing at. Harlem Roulette can be about fundy and q, etc etc.

Everything Now As Day is a line from the Menelaiad by John Barth and WE ALL THINK YOU'RE A GRAND GIRL is a line from Antigonick by Anne Carson. I speak as one about to die is from Anne Carson's translation of Agamemnon. Kassandra says it :) you don't have to love it is a line from CM Punk's snake promo. left pining for transience is a line from the deeply wonderful Fiona Lu's poem Turing Test. dawn and mourning dove grey and turning from the plow are both lines from a song from the webcomic Sword Interval by Ben Fleuter, since both those fics exist in the SI au. The chapter titles for dawn and mourning dove grey are the names of the entries in the apocalypse log that reveals the circumstances of the worldbuilding and sets the stage for the final arc of the webcomic.

Titles that aren't direct references to something are still made with consideration to the fic itself. sometimes a fic is big enough 2 warrant a very simple and encompassing title as The Death Poem. The fox who traveled to the end of the world is called that bc I was trying very hard to emulate the style of the fairy tales and fables I read growing up, and those are like. Decently straightforward and referring 2 fundy as a fox emphasizes his trickster-ness. NO SAFE PLACE and BED [DIS]ASSEMBLY are like that because i appreciate all caps quite a lot, maybe an ill-advised amount. also sometimes its just the vibes. the vibes call for all caps.

before we cut to Alexandria is. hm. Well I can't recall atm the exact leaps in my thought process but the general gist is that it's a study of a very specific and liminal period of cabinetduo's relationship, set between the larger and Historical events of the election and the red festival and nov16, and Alexandria is this big important city and it's also a place that gets kind of famously destroyed a little but this isn't yet about Alexandria/L'Manberg. The poem doesn't even leave the White House. I also know it was inspired somehow by tmg's album Songs for Pierre Chuvin.

Journeying Into the Center of the Earth To Retrieve Your Dead Ex Boyfriend because that is what the fic is about and though it is not an instruction manual it is still a detailing of a process. and also because the concept was inspired by Carmen Maria Machado's Help Me Follow My Sister Into the Land of the Dead

[irrealisms]

liza forever minnelli liner notes

fic here if you haven't read it!

first thing i have to comment on is the title: liza forever minnelli is in some ways a companion piece to my fic the autopsy garland, in that they're both hunger games dsmp au fics by me, and they're both mountain goats songs which are recommended listening alongside the fics, and the mountain goats songs are themselves pairs; the autopsy garland is about judy garland, liza minnelli is her daughter and the subject of liza forever minnelli

specifically: the autopsy garland is about the sexual abuse of a child star; liza forever minnelli is about growing up in the shadow of a famous parent, not being able to escape the fame and legacy that comes with that, and addiction. these also work really well for the fics imo!

liza forever minnelli also opens with the lines there's the part you've braced yourself against, and then/there's the other part ; in my mind as i was writing, this was very much always referring to the Games and then the post-Games respectively

a recurring theme in this fic is things being Less Bad Than They Could Be. wilbur's childhood is less bad than the childhoods of many in panem; him getting reaped at 15 is less bad than getting reaped at 12; being institutionalized as insane is less bad than being executed or tortured as a traitor; a nonconsensual marriage is less bad than nonconsensual prostitution; agreeing to take meds and eat food is less bad than being tied to a bed and forced; having sex willingly is, again, less bad than being tied to a bed and forced. it being better than the alternative does not mean it is not horrifying.

this fic is heavily inspired by my recent psych ward stay and my thoughts on consent in that context, as well as my history with eating disorder treatment centers, to the point where i think my wilbur characterization suffers in places because i had stuff i needed to process; feel free to draw any inferences you want from that. (other than the details about waking up intubated, which are from short_tandem_repeats.)

relatedly, the "Salonina and Philza have both given consent for it" line is... horrifying, but also, he's sixteen, that's just how medical decisions work for minors; it's intending to draw its horror not from the fact that the capitol is worse but from the fact that it isn't

the fic is also a little bit inspired by some phil parenting discourse. a lot of ink has been spilled about phil assisting wilbur's suicide as a moral event horizon of Horrifying and Unforgivable; i wanted to write a fic that explores the ways preventing a suicide can be horrifying in its own right

relatedly: phil and techno are foils in this fic! on the one hand, phil is complicit w varyingly horrifying things in the name of keeping wilbur alive and [Less Bad Than It Could Be], while techno is consistently a source of strength and resistance-to-the-capitol for wil; on the other hand, techno very much does supply wilbur with materials for a [harm to self or others] plan. it's complicated.

i did feel like i had to include techno as that source of strength and resistance, though; psychotic anarchists my beloved! in my heart, modern au techno has strong opinions about peer respite centers, hearing voices groups, mad pride, etc., and so i couldn't not include him

a detail that didn't end up making it into the fic: wilbur post-games is switched between meds primarily based on whether there are side effects that are visible in public appearances (e.g. TD, weight fluctuations, seizures), rather than his own preferences between medications

there's a lot of catching fire parallels--the rolls being used for secret messages, obviously, but also the "this wasn't a Revolutionary Act, i was just insane" was intending to parallel katniss's "this wasn't a Revolutionary Act, i was just in love". where, of course, both are true and in many ways inextricable.

relatedly: especially after the first round of beta feedback, i was definitely trying to keep in mind and balance "phil, wilbur, etc., are trying to create a story where he was just crazy and not a revolutionary, to keep him alive" and "wilbur is in fact severely mentally ill, he's not solely being pathologized for being a revolutionary"; i'm not sure how well i did on this but it's something i was trying to keep in mind

i'm of two minds of the fact that i didn't include much of wilbur's neuroses about Audience and Narrative; i think it's a very good fit for the setting, but precisely because it's such a good fit for the setting i feel like i already covered a lot of that ground in the autopsy garland. still, it's another thing i was definitely considering and thinking about!

this is my first time doing liner notes for my fic since 2017 but i want to get back in the habit of putting this sort of thing on tumblr and not just on discord, i think it's cool to see writers' thought processes; let me know if you want to see more of these!

[there-must-be-a-lock]

If It’s A Highway - the annotated playlist!

I posted an earlier version of this playlist a while back, but I’ve added to it quite a bit in the process of writing this last chapter. Also, the musical influences probably show in this chapter more than any of the previous ones; there are a couple places where I use almost direct quotes tbh. So I threw some lyric references in, too.

Playlist under the cut, fic right over here!

“Slow Death Hymn,” Mischief Brew - the title track! I adore this song. It’s about, like, pouring one out on New Year’s Eve for all the people you’ve lost over the course of the last year, and accepting that you’re another year closer to death, and deciding to just keep on driving and looking forward.

“You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid,” The Offspring - Jason vibes like whoa.

“Right On, Frankenstein,” Death From Above 1979 - Bucky vibes like whoa.

“Bulletproof Heart,” My Chemical Romance - look, there are a lot of My Chem songs on this playlist, and so many more that I could include just as easily, because wow, themes!!!! But if I had to sum up the Jason/Bucky dynamic in one line, it’d be this:

“Autoclave,” the Mountain Goats - How Bucky sees himself, basically. Not who he actually is… but how he sees himself.

“In A Body Like A Grave,” Japandroids - one of my favorite repeating analogies in chapter 5 was directly inspired by this. It’s just such a good image.

“Kill All Your Friends,” My Chemical Romance - total Jason song; he basically quotes it in ch. 5. He’d love this band, pretty sure Revenge would be his favorite album in the whole world… I mean, it’s called Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge. Runners up for Jason-est songs include Fashion Statement and Never Told You What I Do For A Living, but this one was too good in the context of this story:

“Drive,” the Gaslight Anthem - his voice is one of my absolute favorites, it’s so rough and emotional, and this song has a blend of exhaustion and vulnerability and hope that fits the story to a T.

“Demolition Lovers,” My Chemical Romance - I mean. Yeah.

“True Love and a Free Life of Free Will,” Japandroids - love love love their lyrics. I originally came upon this one while I was working on another Bucky-centric story and it gave me goosebumps.

[rudojudo]

Giant of Light Playlists

Inspired by some posts I saw, I put together a playlist of music for the GoL experience. Then I split it in two, because of the duality built into the game. They might not be perfect for background music, since they're a bit lyric heavy in a way that might distract from the table, but there are some connections I'm happy with. Also, they work on shuffle, but the order is intended to make a rough sketch of an Episode of play from either perspective. They're on Spotify:

Side A: Heroes

Side B: Kaiju

And of course you can buy the game here.

If you don't use Spotify (I don't blame you), there's a track listing below, along with commentary, because I love to explain myself.

Side A: Heroes

-Goshowa Kudasai Ware no Na wo! (Endo Masaki)

This is the opening theme to Ultraman Z. Obviously, I was going to include some music from the franchise, but I didn't want it to be the whole playlist. I chose this one because the title and opening line translates to "I ask that you chant my name," which is a wonderful bit of poetry asking for faith.

-The Legend of Chavo Guerrero (The Mountain Goats)

This is about that faith from the other side, a song about having a hero. "The telecast's in Spanish, I can understand some / and I need justice in my life, here it comes," devastates me every time.

-Starman (David Bowie)

Maybe a bit obvious, but all the same, Ultraman is full of visitors from space whose differences from humanity leave them alienated, but still capable of seeing the beauty and value of the Earth.

-Hands (Oishi Masayoshi)

Theme to Ultraman R/B and my personal favorite theme in the whole franchise. The leads in this series have no experience or training and are thrown into the deep end and I like the way this track reflects the drive to stay positive. "These are the things we shouldn't have to protect."

-Pump it Up (Elvis Costello and the Attractions)

This represents the rising tension in the "Episode" happening here. The thumping, elegant bass line and lyrics about matching intensity always begged for an action scene in my mind.

-Brave Love, TIGA (Kagaku Tokusoutai, not the original version, this is a group that does covers of tokusatsu songs)

This is the ending theme to Ultraman Tiga and it's a bit of a parallel to Legend of Chavo Guerrero, since it's a plea to the title character. It's a child, asking their hero, please, do the things I can't. Protect the world. Show me how to be brave.

-X Gon' Give It To Ya (DMX)

Am I guilty of coming to the same conclusion as the writers of the Deadpool movie? Yes. But as a Millennial, I defy you to find a track that more powerfully says that shit is about to go down.

-Veridis Quo (Daft Punk)

Something wholly without lyrics to depict the final fight. I've always thought that the melody of this song implied a situation that's rapidly becoming more complicated.

-Dare (Stan Bush)

Come the man, cometh the hour, this is the personal theme of Hot Rod from The Transformers: The Movie (1986). Hot Rod is the chosen one, even if he doesn't know it until the end, but his theme is all about being brave enough to become the person needed. Also, the sample character Ultraman Giant Hero Cadmium is a direct reference to Hot Rod, including the piece of character art he's in.

-Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight) (ABBA)

I think the transition from the last track to this one is the best thing I do in either playlist. Again, this is a song about who you want around when things get bad. Also feels final, like the fight can be won here.

-BRAND NEW WORLD (Miura Jam BR)

This is the opening theme to my favorite arc of One Piece (Enies Lobby), but that's incidental. Here, the track represents the "new world" created by the Main Characters in saving the day, and the moment of joy together after it happens.

-Ultraman 80 (Kagaku Tokusoutai, again a cover)

"He came to us from the stars." Nothing more than a moment of gratitude for this immense power that joins together with us to protect our world. Ultraman gets a bit religious (by design, the life of the original creator Tsuburaya Eiji was often defined by faith). Also a relaxing end to represent the "end credits."

Side B- Kaiju

-Trigger (Sakuma Takao)

This side's less optimistic, more conflicted, but I still wanted to open with a theme, this time from Ultraman Trigger. It's a bit more aggressive, all about letting loose. Doesn't connect to that show much, but it's exactly what's happening here.

-When You're Evil (Aurelio Voltaire)

Being self-consciously "evil" is mostly the provenance of teenagers, but there's a sort of immaturity to a lot of the Kaiju Users I took inspiration from when writing the game. There's a certain kind of person who says to themself "no, I'm bad, really, I'm dangerous, watch out!"

-Wolf Like Me (TV on the Radio)

Another approach to playing a Kaiju User is to have werewolf vibes: "this is something inside me and when I let it out, you should run." This is a good song to depict prowling around town, looking for trouble.

-Life on Mars? (David Bowie)

An intentional parallel to Side A, another Bowie track using aliens as a metaphor for alienation. This one's a bit grittier, more critical of society, and more explicitly Queer, which is why it's on this side.

-Werewolf Gimmick (The Mountain Goats)

Like I said, this vibe is strong. The theme of performance (and taking that performance too far) is also a good link to the way a Kaiju User might play with their public image.

-V: The Stand (Man or Machine) (The Protomen)

This song ruled my college years. With a fight imminent, two people who would rather not fight argue, proving why they have to. In your games, the primary Kaiju User can even be either side of the fight, depending on how you've built things up.

-It Has To Be This Way - Platinum Mix (Jimmy Gnecco)

Meme music it may be, but this is great for being the next phase of that argument as the fists start flying. It's only from one perspective, which is fun, because the speaker might be completely off-base about the similarities between the two fighters (which is the case in the game it's written for, a lot of the memes and such overlook that).

-Foreign Object (The Mountain Goats)

Kaiju Users are often at a disadvantage, and this song really captures the spirit of fighting uphill because you're meaner and even if you can't win, you'll make your opponent regret it.

-KARATE (BABYMETAL)

This is the song for the main fight here, picked mostly for sheer kinetic energy. BABYMETAL's trademark pop idol/heavy metal contrast here is the symbol for the fact that a lot of Kaiju may be city-destroying beasts, but people on the internet will still look at them and say "what a good dog!"

-Light Up The Night (The Protomen)

Sometimes, winning means being willing to burn yourself up.

-Hero (The Verve Pipe)

The mirror spot to When You're Evil for a reason. This is the truth at the core of that facade, that underneath the way they scorn humanity and embrace their outcast status with mischief, they really long to be accepted. And something that GoL tries to say is that you can be, even if your powers are scary and destructive, you can still be a hero, no matter what your self-loathing says.

-ZERO to INFINITY (Miyano Mamoru)

Another track from the franchise, this is the theme to the web series Ultra Galaxy Fight: The Absolute Conspiracy, which is mostly a big crossover punch-em-up. But here, I like the optimism of saying you can get to the end of your path as long as you keep pushing, which can be applied to Kaiju Users of many different moral orientations.

Whew! So I started out trying to not repeat artists at all, let alone on the same playlist, but it couldn't be helped, Beat The Champ by The Mountain Goats is the best album about wrestling ever (not a high bar, mind, but it's very good), and the parallels between pro wrestling and tokusatsu are very deep. Anyway, have fun, let me know your thoughts on the listening experience, and play the game!

[biblically-accurate-soup]

what did you mean about the title "no children" adding to the song? i don't quite understand and i'd love to read a big paragraph of analysis

hi hello sorry for taking a bit to get to this. i was rotating my answer in my head like a rotisserie chicken for a few days.

No Children by The Mountain Goats tells a simple, familiar story. As the lead singer, John Darnielle puts it, a story about a divorcing couple. The lyrics paint a vivid picture of these characters he’s created, starting the song off with: “I hope that our few remaining friends give up on trying to save us. I hope we come up with a failsafe plot to piss off the dumb few that forgave us.”

These are not happy people, that much is incredibly obvious from the start of the song. The point of view of the once-newlywed-now-NewlyWonderingHowWeWereEverWed is cemented even further as he continues: “I hope the fences we mended fall down beneath their own weight. And I hope we hang on past the last exit, I hope it's already too late.”

Our narrator is past being complacent in the crumbling of his relationships. He’s actively, and snidely, “hoping” for their complete destruction past the point of no return. He hopes that nothing remains of the fence TO be mended. He hopes that there are no more exits. He hopes that it is too late to save anything now, because if there is, he certainly isn’t about to try to do so now. He continues this hopeless train of hoping in the next few lines: “And I hope the junkyard a few blocks from here someday burns down. And I hope the rising black smoke carries me far away, and I never come back to this town again in my life.”

Finally, in the last lines of the first chorus, he refers to the person he is singing to. “I hope I lie and tell everyone you were a good wife.” In this line, he provides a sharp contrast to the earlier ones. It seems almost out of place. All of the hoping for destruction until there is nothing left to rebuild upon is suddenly cut with a line that sounds almost like it is trying to be civil, but does so in an undeniably backhanded way. He hopes in the future, when there is nothing left of the “We” they once were, he can tell everyone that it wasn’t all bad. But nevertheless, he wants his ex-wife to unmistakably know that it will be lie.

This thin attempt at civility is contrasted immediately with perhaps the most straightforward sentence of loathing ever put to song: “And I hope you die. I hope we both die.”

The rest of the song continues on similarly, with the narrator continuing his line of hoping for one of them to outwardly lose hope. Skipping forward a few lines: “I hope it stays dark forever. I hope the worst isn't over. And I hope you blink before I do. Yeah I hope I never get sober.” Even in what they can both see is a failed relationship, they still have their pride to uphold. This train wreck has become their own personal game of chicken, and the narrator hopes his former lover blinks first.

“And I hope when you think of me years down the line, you can't find one good thing to say. And I'd hope that if I found the strength to walk out, you'd stay the hell out of my way.” Calling back to the prior line where he hopes he lies and says that his wife was a good one, he childishly refuses to concede their tug-of-war, even after years have passed without contact. He wants to be seen as the bigger person in the end, even if it is a decade from now.

Finally, moving on to probably the most famous lines of this song: “I am drowning. There is no sign of land. You are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand. And I hope you die. I hope we both die.” And it is famous for a reason. It is so simple in its wording yet so effective in its delivery. The first two lines paint a clear image that has been set up throughout the song: being resigned to the fact that his situation is hopeless. He’s pushed himself out so far into the water and away from land—his opportunities to fix things, for him to salvage what he and his partner had—and is finally starting to realize that yes, he is sinking, and it is too late to not go down with the ship.

Immediately after that, it gives a line that has been used by many a fanfiction writer to this day. “You are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand.” Like the rest of the song, it is so simple. So to the point. And it hits like a punch to the gut, because she is in the exact same situation as him. She sat there and helped him row the boat out to sea. She remained while the ship was sinking. Because despite it all, they’re going down together. Both of them are committed to bringing the other down with them.

“I hope you die. I hope we both die.” The same lines heard earlier in the song, but this time with new meaning. The narrator loathes his ex-wife, but is aware that he is also guilty of the same crimes. He hopes she dies. I think deep down, he hopes that she hopes the same thing will happen to him.

This song is so clear and straightforward in giving us these two dysfunctional people. Two people caught up in their own game and are burning down the rest of their lives along with their failed relationship. These are two people who never, once in their relationship, were willing to be patient. Or willing to forgive. Or willing to change their ways. Two people so caught in their destruction that they kept destroying each other while drowning themselves. They truly must have wanted to be together at some point—otherwise, why would anyone have held out this long?

A couple like this, it’s a miracle they even got married in the first place. As John Darnielle so eloquently puts it: Midway through the writing, I'm thinking about what defines their life down there, and I thought, "Do they have kids or not?" At this point I had enough of the new songs to go, "No. Under no circumstances do you put children in these people's lives."

[moorishflower]

Sorry for showing my ignorance, but I was looking for the definition of the word 'aulon' from your delicious Aulon Raid because I didn't recognise the word and couldn't find anything to match it except for place names. Going off the 'raid' I'd assume it has some historical significance, perhaps in myth, more likely an actual recorded event, but I can't find anything on it. Would it be a bother to say what it is and why you chose it?

hello my dear my darling! "Aulon" is just a romanized version of Aulona, Syria!

"Aulon Raid" is the title of a Mountain Goats song, which references Marcellus of Apamea, who was a civil officer in the city of Apamea, Syria sometime around 375 AD. He was eventually elected Bishop, and gained a reputation for being FANATICALLY dedicated to rooting out pagan temples in the name of God. After he was elected bishop, he oversaw the burning of many temples and the execution of many pagans, right up until some pagans in Aulona, Syria finally fought back. While he stood back and watched their temple burn, a group of pagans seized Marcellus and heaved him into the very fire he'd set. His sons wanted the pagans executed for the crime, but the local Council forbade it, and told them instead to "give thanks to God."

The song itself is about defending something pure and sacred to you against an interloper, something that other people might not understand, and doing so with extreme prejudice and no holding back. As Hob does with the neonazi in the fic!

Sometimes we have to fight to protect the things we love. Sometimes we have to throw the existing authority into the fire. Sometimes the pagans were right.

[garlic-sauc3]

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback? (gonna take notes for future reference)

💫 - tbh I just love when people talk about scenes or characterization(definently the characterization tbh), dont get me wrong, I love the keyboard smash and the hearts, but also I love when people take note of like how i wrote things and why. I love when people analyze my work, and what I really want is people to listen to like the song that the title is from, especially if it is a mountain goats song, because I love connecting over music and usually the song fits with the characters or the fic or the dynamic. I put the song the title is from because I want people to listen to it, yknow