#the true idiot

[bbbbbbbbatman]

Bruce gets accosted by reporters and one of them asks "Is it true that you're in competition with Superman to win Batman's affections?" and he is so taken aback bc what the fuck are they even talking about? There are a million questions going through his head such as, since when was superman into batman? since when was this public knowledge? wtf did bruce say to imply that he was into batman as well? And he doesn't have an answer to any of these questions so he just smiles and says, "No, I'm not. The word competition implies that Superman has a chance, which he does not."

why did he say that? Bruce doesn't know, it just felt like that's how Bruce Wayne would've responded bc what's more Brucie than fighting with Superman for Batman's heart? anyway, upon reflection, this was maybe not the best response in terms of long term consequences, but he's committed to the bit now.

a week after all this goes down, news reporter Clark Kent is caught saying that Batman deserves better than Bruce Wayne, so is a third suitor putting his hat in the ring to win over batman?

[iverna]

trust him, he's a professional

[mellosdrawings]

Just a dumb idea

[sen-ya]

I don’t have a twitter but @blackyote sent me this tweet from @naturecalls111 and I simply had to

[gurggggleburgle]

I want fics that are outsider perspectives on cumplane post their deaths because like can you imagine. Like forget what our boys think on the scenario, think of the public. Think of the yt essays. The drama vlogs and makeup tutorials paired with. Like I want that perspective. An author and his anti die potentially minutes apart and you're telling me the internet didn't explode??? That there wasn't documentataries made by amateur sluthes investigating their private lives and pissing off the families??? You think this wouldn't be the fandom scandal that gets international release??? And like if Airplane is just in a coma isn't that even more sus?????!!! Like it's insane my dudes. Give me like fake yt video essays on this. Give me fanfic from random peoples perspective. Tell me all the pidw fandom conspiracies.

[skitskatdacat63]

Vettonso complaining about each other not respecting schrondinger's track limits on the radio compilation + Seb's commentary that made me a bit feral

Must include these sexy ass pics okay, it makes me feral how hard they race each other.

Also SO upset that we got this vid and there's also pictures(and presumably a vid out there somewhere) of Fernando, back then, ALSO debriefing this race. And yet we never got them together?????? Evil. Fucked up.

Imagine seeing them complaining about each other but also having to (begrudgingly if you're Fernando) compliment each other IN FRONT of each other. Maybe its a good thing it doesn't exist, bcs then I'd have a heart attack.

[nelkcats]

Scamming the scammer

John Constantine was the biggest headache Danny had managed to get, ever. After becoming King he did not think that his first task would be to solve the man's soul problems.

And it seemed quite incredible to him that the hellbazer would consider selling his soul as if it were a used car that he wants to get rid of to buy a new one. He was aware that he needed a soul, wasn't he? That it was not possible to buy a new one? Because he didn't want to be the one to inform him if that was not the case.

To top it off, beings from different domains within his kingdom came explicitly to claim the British's soul, which didn't even make sense, there were thousands of souls! Why did everyone want the same one? And why did he have to be the one to take care of it?

Completely frustrated, he placed all the paperwork for John Constantine in an empty room and locked the door. He smiled as he came up with a plan to improve the situation, it might be worth it.

That's how a drunk John Constantine found himself signing a dubious contract in exchange for the power to turn any liquid into beer, he didn't bother to read the contract, most demons just wanted his soul and this guy looked so human, with a presence so light it must be a minor demon for sure.

This turned out to be a bad decision when the next morning he found himself trapped in a room full of documents, the door locked. Taped to the door was a green note that said "Enjoy doing your own paperwork sir, I hope you're pleased with yourself", and well, maybe he should have read that contract after all.

[ranarenee]

Lol when your cool ancestor is hella dead.

[redrobin-detective]

I find it completely hilarious to think after Simon was freed from the crown and got to be himself in Ooo that he and Finn have a close relationship that neither of them understand.

Finn views Simon as a fellow human, someone he saw at their lowest point and now is on the upswing and now they can be buddies and go on adventures together. He also wants to do sleepovers all the time, what a bro. Simon sure is fussy with him, like Jake sometimes is, must be because they're such good friends.

Simon meanwhile is going around to people in Ooo like 'why did you let a child/teenager live alone in a treehouse with a dog and access to weaponry while making him fight monsters?' and when no one stepped up, Simon unofficially claimed Finn as his own. He checks in regularly, goes over a brings groceries, cleans up the treehouse, educates Finn as best he can on human anatomy, culture, history as well as other stuff.

Its so obvious to everyone - especially Marcy who is laughing her ass off in the background - that the former Ice King is trying to parent Finn who doesn't get it and proceeds to friendzone the hell out of his father figure.

[minzart]

It's about the loonging

[youidiotwecouldbeenus]

At this point Crowley's job is just trophy wife, aka stand there and look pretty while her husband does buisness

[candycatstuffs]

Rouge gets distracted sometimes

Did a little doodle of that one meme and things spiraled out of control very fast

[tmntseparatedaucompetition]

The Little Prince - @beannary

True Colors AU - @v-albion

Never Better - @less-depresso-more-espresso

Tie is whoever is within 0.5% of the highest vote

[dedlit]

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 (finale)👆

[being-luminous]

true hate's kiss, v2 .

If his sixteen-year-old self could see him now, he’d kill himself.

Once, incandescent with youthful rage and entirely sick of being pestered by the demon known as Head Boy and all-around dickhead Tom Riddle, Harry had sworn to Merlin and the entirety of the Great Hall that he would rather die than spend even an hour in Riddle’s company, and he’d certainly never kiss him. Unfortunately, it just so happens that being cursed to tell the truth and nothing but the truth is a bit more disruptive to his daily life than death, and requires an immediate solution—a kiss, but not from just anyone.

From an enemy—the enemy, rather.

And only one person fits the bill.

Thankfully, Harry doesn’t have to spend too long in the Ministry’s hallowed halls before he spots his prey. There Riddle is, standing unaware at the end of the hall, surrounded by his cronies. It’s so like their Hogwarts days that Harry could vomit, but he figures he should save that for after the deed is done.

“Riddle!” he calls, marching toward him, a determined scowl on his face.

Riddle turns around, and his eyes go wide with surprise when he sees just who called his name. Not that Harry can blame him. If it weren’t for this curse, he’d happily never say it again. As Harry approaches, surprise turns quickly to alarm. He’s only a few paces away when Riddle’s hand twitches, likely reaching for his wand. He doesn’t get the chance to draw it. Instead, he only just has time to brace himself, like he’s expecting to be hit (again—though Harry maintains to this day that the prick deserved it), but Harry doesn’t hit him.

No. It’s far worse than that.

Not giving himself a chance to hesitate, Harry reaches for Riddle’s too-perfect face, tugs him just the slightest bit down, and kisses him right on the mouth. He stays there for a second, maybe two. Eyes closed, because he doesn’t even want to see him from a normal distance, let alone this close. Riddle’s lips are soft, a thought he immediately strangles and stomps upon.

Riddle’s lips part, and it’s like lightning jolting through him. He pulls back—or, he tries. Riddle catches him with an arm snaked around his waist, a hand cupping his jaw, before he can get very far. And then Riddle kisses him back. Riddle presses closer, until his back is flush against the wall, Riddle’s weight trapping him there as he does his best to steal the breath from Harry’s lungs.

A throat clears.

Harry gasps, jerks his head back and smacks it against solid brick, wishes the floor would swallow him whole. “What, Rosier?” Riddle snaps, and Harry feels his voice in his chest.

If Rosier responds, Harry doesn’t hear it. He’s too busy reeling, horror growing as the realization sets in: Ron and Hermione are never going to let him live this down.

- - -

“Why did you kiss me, anyway?” Tom asks later, once he finally manages to trap Harry in one spot—a convenient broom closet not far from his office—long enough to get an answer out of him.

Harry sighs, knocks his head back against the wall. He’s blushing. “It was a curse,” he mutters, eyes fixed on the ceiling.

“I see,” Tom says, and he allows himself a grin in his triumph. He knew Harry wouldn’t be able to hold out forever. “True love’s kiss?”

Harry only blushes harder. Tom has never seen anything so delightful in his life. Then, for the second time that day, in an attempt at distraction so pitifully obvious that he’d never allow it if it didn’t get him exactly what he wanted, Tom Riddle finds himself thoroughly kissed.

[katiemcgrathisdaddyaf]

so I personally needed a compilation of the Kara “I can be subtle” Danvers moments from @supergirlpolls and I made this