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Via: @sadlyjustj on X
Full interview post Ford Supervan run.
#daniel ricciardo#Liam and Joe?!?#the vibes have kind of always been off with Liam for me#so feel kinda meh about his overlap wi tbh Daniel here tbh
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Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 103
Shoot at Sam? Count me in. Even if it's just a NERF gun ... Sam: "Aaaaah! In my cancer!" Oh boy ... XD ... and Adhley got him RIGHT IN THE TIT just as she intended ... ah yes, Sam Riegel, living in fear ... LOL ... yup, Ashley's just lying in wait ... oh there we go ... Liam: "All right, let's graduate to D20s." Whoa, wait a minute ...
Marisha: "All our UK viewers are thinking 'fucking Americans'." Well ... YEAH ...
Yes! Always credit the artists ... thank you, Liam!
Yes, that's right ... we're in the home of the Shadowgast ... O.O
So could this FINALLY be it? Are we FINALLY gonna get rid of that egregious BITCH?!!!
Ooooooooh ... fancy ritual ... cool ...
Laudna's terrified ... of course she is. She SHOULD be ... if this goes wrong ... after last time I'm scared too ... and even if this DOES go right, there's no guarantee she WOULD definitely survive this ...
Wow ... way to stoke out morale, Essek ... but yeah, he does mean well, I guess ...
In theory, then ... if this DOES work then Delilah will, ESSENTIALLY, just become a magical battery ... oh yeah, I don't doubt that would be the most delightfully irksome punishment for that evil bitch ...
A natural vibe? Are you sure, Chet? "Dr Chet"? Oh, that might work better, yeah ...
Keep Braius' freaky hoof fingers away from this stuff ... XD ... essentially Braius instead just stands behind Dorian and encourages him to do everything right, while passive-aggressively judging him. Dorian: "So just like my dad, then."
Great ... time to roll to make sure we get this right ... NO PRESSURE, then ... O.O
TWENTY-FIVE DC? Are you KIDDING ME?!!!
Laudna: "You guys have already been through so much with me ..." Fearne: "Well why would we stop now?" Laudna: "Ooh ... my stomach hurts." Fearne: "Do you need to poo?"
Cheddars? Oh yeah, I like that ... way to accidentally belittle the ancient gnome ... XD
And now Chetney's getting naked ... of course he is ...
Fuck ... here we go, then ... oh boy ... aaaaaaahhh!!! O.O
A multi-stage ritual ... crap ... that's never a good thing ...
Laura: "I say GUIDANCE!!!" XD
Chetney: "Don't worry, you won't feel ... you're gonna feel a lot." Oof ...
No pain-killers? Really? Laudna: "I have dogs leap from my chest from time to time." Oh yeah ... that's right ... O.O
Oh yes, so she just does that RIGHT NOW ... and now her chest is gaping wide open ... okay, that'll probably help ... and now Laudna's just given herself afull-blown Y-incision ... yup ...
Hold her hand, Imogen ... HOLD THAT HAND ...
Did Chetney just SNEEZE inside her? O.O ... yeah, that's just an INSTANT staph infection ...
And so we begin ... oh boy ... and so we begin to hold our breath ...
A Blood Maladict? Hmmmm ...
Wow ... oh, yeah, that soul-cage in the chest idea ... that's kind of beautiful in a really horrifying kind of way ...
Great ... just what we need right now. Fuck off, Delilah. Don't you DARE interfere while we exorcise you, you monstrous demon bitch ...
That almost went SO FUCKING BAD ... O.O ... phew ...
Laura Bailey channeling Imogen getting SO FUCKING ANXIOUS right now ... this is SO TENSE ...
Do something, do something, help her guys ... Ashton burns a Rage ... oh, this is interesting ... fascinating new way to use his Dunamancy powers ... and clearly this is gonna cost him ... but OF COURSE he's gonna fight through all the same ... that's a pretty sweet move, Ash ...
Orym you sweet selfeless little cinnamon roll, I love you so much ... HEX THAT BITCH!!! YES!!!
Sweeeeeeeeeeeeet ... between them Ashton and Liam succeed SO BEAUTIFULLY in what they're doing right now ... THAT'S A CRIT!!! Damn fucking RIGHT it is ... O.O
Yeah ... in your face, Delilah! Yes! Take that!
Is that it? Is that done? Yes ... nice ... first part successful, then ... so what's next?
FUCK!!! Jumpscared by Matthew Mercer! Damn it!
Imogen's turn, then ... go, go, GO!!! Save you honey, girl! Yes!
The Ruined Sun Tree again? Aaaaaahhh ... not good! I hate that image just as much as before ...
Imogen: "There's only two ways for this to end." Delilah: "You can't have her!" Oh fuck off, you evil bitch ... EDUCATE HER, Imogen!
This may be Laura's most important roll of the entire campaign ... but YES!!! THAT'S RIGHT!!! Marisha does indeed have a say in this ... Laudna fights back, then ... PLEASE let this work ...
Void Puppet? OH NICE ... O.O
Nice ... the other poor souls murdered and hung on that tree are coming to her aid ... that is SO FUCKING COOL ... O.O
So here comes the roll ... make it count, Laura ... 21! Okay ... is that enough?
Oh my fucking gods ... EVERY SINGLE PERSON that died in Whitsetone because of Delilah is now coming to claim their vengeance ... this is JUST FUCKING INCREDIBLE ...
Holy shit ... this has GOT TO BE a success, right? This CLEARLY fucking worked ...
It worked ... IT WORKED ... holy fuck it ACTUALLY FUCKING WORKED!!! Yes! YEEEEEEEEEESSSSS!!!
Matt: "She's there, but ... she's YOURS." Holy fuck ... YES!!! It really did fucking work ... Delilah's nothing but a magical battery now ... that is pure fucking poetic justice and I love it so much ...
She conjures Pate ... and it no longer COSTS HER like it once felt like ... oh, yeah ... that's so cool ...
Oh yeah ... that's right, Pate doesn't know Braius ... DO NOT attack the bone rat, Braius ... oh shit ...
Fuck ... yup, that's right, INSTANT KILL on the bone rat ... great ... thanks for that, Braius ...
They're holding each other ... that's so sweet ... the Imodna's STRONG right now ... :3
Flashlighting the balls ... oh boy ... Matt: "A lot of us grew up before the Internet." LOL
Liam: "Bony Stark" OH SHIT!!! YES!!! XD
Insight check ... oh, this should be interesting ... NAT20?!!! Fuck, Marisha ... wow ... so Delilah's, like, GENUINELY restrained ... nice ...
Laudna: "She won't be ... she won't be watching us anymore." YES!!! And Imogen kisses her! Of course she does! My shipper heart is beating SO HARD right now! :3
Chetney is CARVING HIS INITIALS into her ankle ... "I sign all my best works!" Laudna: "You know, only you would I allow to do that." Awwwww ... that's so sweet in the most disturbing way possible ...
Laudna thanks Essek, as she should, and he's most magnanimous ... nice ...
Celebration time ... YES. Definitely.
Oh wow ... is Essek's inner party-planner coming out right now? Caleb's got him trained so well, clearly ... or maybe this is more Jester and Veth's doing ... XD
What ... invite the Nein? REALLY?!!! That would be so cool and WAY too much to hope for ...
Yes ... OF COURSE there will be LOTS of Lionett wine ... definitely ...
Liam (as Caleb): "Why would I buy it when I can get it for free?" XD ... indeed ...
A toast! Yes! "To new beginnings, and a bunch of losers winning" ... YEAH ... definitely ...
Ashton: "I think it's time for a round of What the Fuck Is Up With You?" Oh yes ... spill, Braius Doomseed ...
From the Platinum Dragon to Asmodeus, the Lord of Lies ... so Braius is, like, the Exandrian equivalent of turning from Catholic to Satanist, then ... cute ...
Wow ... Jester Lavorre was LITERALLY responsible for Braius' fall from grace ... oh boy ... EXCOMMUNICATED? Proper? Fascinating ... Laura's scrambling so hard to dig her little blue Tiefling out from this deepening pit ... XD
That freakish fucking stein thing ... Sam, that thing is UNNERVING ...
OF COURSE Chetney fell asleep during the movie ... XD
Yeah ... might be a good idea to keep an eye on the minotaur moivng forward, then ...
Yes, that is correct ... Orym has a somewhat complicated but still very profitable relationship with the Wildmother ... and she DID just come through in clutch, clearly ... might be Laudna's got a god on her side right now ...
"To my favourite war criminal." Signed: Beauregard Lionett. XD
"Blue beauty"? XD ... Braius is flirting with Dorian, now ...
The talk is turning HEAVY, clearly ...
Sam: "Taylor Swfit?" Taliesin: "How DARE YOU?!!!" Matt: "Do not call that following down on us!"
Oh shit ... the pipe ... CAREFUL there ... O.O
Spin the Bottle with a D10 ... this should be interesting ... who's gonne risk frying their mind?
Braius? Oh, this should be interesting ... and it's fate, really ... wo what does HE think is the most heroic thing he's ever done?
He killed "Stanley"? Whos was Stanley?
A "Laudna bong"? Your mind goes to some weird places, Riegel ... we really havew missed you ...
So ... Stanley was his friend, but then betrayed him? A secret follower of the Dawnfather? Hmmmm ... oh dear gods ... the mug is the flayed skin and bones of Stanley ... wow ... this is all kinds of fucking wrong, Riegel ...
OF COURSE Laudna finds a potential future partner in arts & crafts in Braius because of this ...
Ashton has disadvantage on EVERYTHING ... Travis: "A double-handed abandonment of the roll!" Taliesin: "Why do I bother?" XD
Wow ... they really are picking his story apart a whole lot ... as the minutes tick by Braius is looking increasingly poser-esque ... I'm actually starting to feel a little sorry for him ...
Wow ... a gory painting ... cute ... like a particularly monstrous Jackson Pollock ... O.O
Ah, so we're all passing out in a stupour in the wee hours ... of course ... and it's time for a break ...
No, Matthew Mercer you WILL NOT torment us like that! O.O
Ah yes ... so Laudna and Imogen had a room to themselves ... XD ... I mean OF COURSE they did ...
Chetney attunes to the fancy demon armour ... that is some FREAKY SHIT ... does it expand when he wolfs out? LIam: "You're gonna be like Omar in a turtleneck." XD ... oh sweet ... he's COMPLETELY SILENT ... that's so cool ... he's literally wearind "fiendish essence". So it's, like ... DAMNATION, by Calvin Klein ... LOL
Oh thank fuck Chet isn't TECHNICALLY waving his wang about right now ...
Dorian punches him ... yup ...
"RELEASE!" Oh boy ... Matt: "It just ... fills the suit." Ewww ...
Chetney terrorises Essek's neighbours. With his cock out ...
Imodna eventually wake up ... as they would ... basking in the afterglow ... XD
So ... Laudna can hold onto a magical item ... and no longer feels the burning desite to DEVOUR IT with her chest ... nice ...
Amulet of Cursed Life? Hmmmm ...
"A Counterspell on a chain"? Oh nice ... that's seriously powerful shit ... VERY useful ... oh, and it renders corpses into a major problem for the wearer ... hmmmm ... maybe LESS useful ... it's kind of a bit of a mixed blessing kind of thing ...
Orym uses the Sending Stone to send a message to Caleb ... interesting ... and he replies! That's a little meta again ... O.O
Oh yeah, Essek is TOTALLY up for taking a look at Ashton's head ...
Essek: "Huh ... you are something ... very new." Okay ... O.O
A black marble ... interesting ... hopefully it'll be helpful for Ashton in future to focus his powers ...
Oh, so we're making a move, then? Okay ...
Seth's back ... yup, that's smart. Essek is a wanted man, after all ...
Back to the Hellcatch, then ... teleportation ... is this gonna work, then?
They're in a warzone! Crap! What happened?
Crap! That's the bad guys! They don't wanna be here right now! Imogen casts Sending to Keyleth ... SHE'S ALIVE!!! They're in Vasselheim? Okay ... pass it on to Essek! Quick!
FUCK!!! GLOAMGLUT!!! CRAP!!!
A slither? Three feet away? Crap! Get the staff! Quick!
That ALMOST went to shit ... oh fuck, where the hell are they now? Is this a bad place to be?
That's a VERY angry leylined sky ... it's cold, they're in tall pine forest ... near a stone wall, a really BIG one ... if I had to make a guess, looks like they're on target after all ...
Oh yeah ... Braius' gear probably wouldn't go down well here ...
Another Sending to Keyleth ... she tells them to come to the Platinum Sanctuary ... ah ... yeah ... Braius gets VERY fussy with his appearance now ...
Heading to the gates, then ... funny burnt smell ... hmmm ...
Oh, so this is the stink of burned undead, essentially. Yeah ... so there was some kind of "uprising", probably ... charming ...
Okay, so they get in easily, then ... despite Braius being a bit of an idiot ... XD
Vasselheim ... it's been a while ... but it's as gorgeous and majestic and DRAMATIC as ever ...
The Sanctuary ... but OF COURSE it is ...
The Dark Bloom?
Oh fuck! Yeah! The Titan corpse! Nice callback to the grand Campaign 1 climax ... and now it's literally BECOME part of the city ... which makes perfect sense, of course ... that's like SERIOUSLY AWESOME ...
Vanguard prisoners in gibbet cages? Lovely ...
Yes. Essek is VERY deserving of their thanks for EVERYTHING he's done for them recently ...
It's cute that he calls them "bastions of goodness" ... XD
Yeah! Vox Machina callback! WOOP WOOP!!!
The Duskmeadow? Fascinating ... a massive gothic cathedral? Definitely the temple to the Matron ... it's very beautiful ... RAVENS!!! AWESOME!!!
The remains of the recent undead outbreak and their resultant pyres ... charming ... yup, it was the Solstice as we expected ... oh, good point Orym! Thank fuck the Titan didn't stir ... that would've been a NIGHTMARE ...
So it literally WAS Night of the Living Dead ... lovely ...
This is where the survivors of that recent battle have retreated to, then. Hmmmm ... the Heaven's Stair Mountain ... fancy ...
Imogen charges up, starts looking POWERFUL ... hmmm ...
Oh, they're expected? Well that makes things easier, then ...
Escort or police action? I wonder ...
Nice view ... this is still one of the most beautiful places in all of Exandria ...
The Abundant Terrace! Yay! I remember that place very well, that was so cool ...
Ashton: "This whole city is a temple to hubris." Hmmmm ...
Oh, the Dynasty's here? Yeah, I can see how that could be awkward ... so Essek's bailing? Crap ... oh well ... at least they can say a fond farewell, and they know how to get hold of him again ...
Robbie: "You can look at the menu so long as you order from home." WOW ... XD
Officially arriving at the Sanctuary, then ...
Orym leads the way perched on Fearne's shoulder ...
A goliath? Holy fuck ... IS THIS GROG STRONGJAW?!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
"Professor Emperor" Fearne Calloway ...
Well Grog definitely ain't got any smarter ...
PIKE!!! Yay!
Travis is having an out of body experience right now ... XD
Oh yeah, if ANYONE can clear a path through the crowd right now it's Grog ... LOL
Earthbreaker Groon! Yay!
Allura Vysoren and Lady Kima! Also yay! And Uthodurn are here! Nice ...
Oh hell ... they're all RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE and everybody's looking at them now ... and THIS is where Matt calls it a night! Fitting ...
#critical role#crit role campaign 3#crit role spoilers#campaign 3 spoilers#campaing 3 episode 103#matt mercer#marisha ray#laudna#travis willingham#chetney pock o'pea#laura bailey#imogen temult#liam o'brien#orym of the air ashari#ashley johnson#fearne calloway#taliesin jaffe#ashton greymoore#sam riegel#braius doomseed#robbie daymond#dorian storm
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Food Questionnaire Tag!
I was tagged by @thelovelymachinery (here) and I believe that I was also tagged by @the-golden-comet a while back but I'm so swamped with tags that I cannot find it 🥲
Rules: Answer the food-related questions provided using the voices of your OCs. The yummier the descriptions, the better!
I'll go with Dylan Millihan, Liam Steele, and Christine Nespor from What Lurks In The Hollow for this one <3
what is one comfort meal that'll change your whole mood for the day?
Dylan: Eh. It takes a lot to change my mood for the better after a bad day if I can be brutally honest. I guess some pizza is always nice - might not change my whole mood for the better but it's my favorite food so, whatever. I'd take it over anything else.
Liam: Why do you ask? (he grumbles, eyes narrowed, before begrudgingly answering) Okay, fine. I like shepherd's pie, with as much cheese as possible. Uncle Nick is a pretty good cook, all things considered, and he makes some pretty good pies. I also love the cookies, especially the chocolate chip ones me and Savvy buy in the arcade, they're crunchy.
Christine: Oh! Oh, that's a good one! I love Mac & Cheese, but not the icky takeout ones that are always chewy like gum, or the store-bought ones that taste like plastic. I'm talkin' about the homemade ones! With that sweet, melty cheese goodness with some bacon sprinkled on top. That's the one. I also love me a good coffee - can't start the day without one, but don't come to me with that iced coffee BS, I like mine pipin' hot. Like so hot it feels like it was sourced straight from the earth's core or the depths of hell's fiery abyss. Yeah. Am I weird? (laughs)
what is an experience (good or bad) that has turned you off or on to a food completely?
Dylan: Y'know, I used to love those honeycomb toffee candies, the crispy ones and all. But then during a festival, Mrs. Draycott came up to me and was like (imitates the annoying 50-year-old 'female cougar' voice) "Oh my. Sweetheart, you're looking as SCRUMPTIOUS as a honeycomb fresh from the oven, aren't you?"
And I. wanted. to. die. Like not really but (mock gags in disgust) c'mon! What kind of fucked up, 'Karen' pick-up line is that? And, better yet, who even has the time to come up with shit like that? (sighs, wearily pinching the bridge of his nose) I might need a restraining order at this point, it's giving horror movie vibes. I can't have honeycombs anymore, thanks, Mrs. Draycott. Yay.
Liam: Okay, so when I was like 7 or something, my Uncle was having this garden party with his friends, I think, and they were having sushi. Thing is, 7-year-old me didn't know what sushi was, and me being a dumb little shit thought, wholeheartedly, it was candy. Like bonbons. For some odd reason! Cue me, who had been running around the yard all day, swooping into the patio table, picking one of the sushis, running off, and eating it whole before anyone could explain otherwise. I was expecting coconut candy covered in chocolate, or something sweet. What I got... was raw fish and rice. Long story short I ended up throwing up in the garden and I could never have sushi again after that. I tried once! I swear I tried! And it's okay that people like it. But even now the texture just feels...too slimy and it gives me the ick. Nuh-uh.
Christine: I think the time I ate a hot dog at an admittedly very shady establishment - looking back with hindsight - on the side of the road one time while traveling and got salmonella. Yeah, that hotdog was not a good idea on my part (chuckles). Spent the following week almost getting my soul exorcised from my body in the bathroom, in a metaphoric sense, if ya know what I mean. Now I can't even think about eating a hot dog again. It's a nah for me, bro.
if you could eliminate one piece of produce, meat, dairy or sweets off the earth what would it be?
(I'm not sure about this one but I think all three of them would answer onions, garlic, or stinky foods because those are disgusting and should be banned from the menu lmao)
and dessert is normally saved for last, but if you could what would you order for your entree at a restaurant?
Dylan: I guess, uh. I don't know, vanilla ice cream? I know you're gonna call me 'basic' for that, but I don't care. Vanilla is the best ice cream flavor out there and this is the hill I'll die on.
Liam: Hm. The chocolate chip cookies from the arcade. Gosh, those are just amazing. I could eat a whole packet! Or two, even!
Christine: Churros! The cinnamon and sugar ones with coffee sweet cream filling. That's heaven right there for me, yeah.
what are some food fusions that should never be mixed?
Dylan: Don't you ever mix savory, fried, spicy potato chips with marshmallows or melted ice cream or... god forbid, chocolate! That should be a sin or at least some sort of infraction because holy fuck.
Liam: If I see anyone else putting freaking pineapple or worse, watermelon on pizza I swear I will have a nervous breakdown and turn into a slasher movie villain. Not quite really, but keep FRUITS AWAY FROM MY PIZZA!
Christine: I'm probably gonna get hated on for this one. But avocados on a salty toast with eggs and pepper are a hate crime against humanity and I can't stand people who think that's a reasonable breakfast.
what food spot are you gatekeeping and why?
Dylan: My dude. I'm broke. I barely go out to eat in restaurants. I mostly eat at home or order cheap takeout pizza or something. And even if I wasn't broke, I just don't like eating around people whom I don't know in general, and I don't feel much at ease at restaurants unless I am in a really good mood.
Liam: I like 'Nana's Witchy Speakeasy'. The name might be odd or off-putting but it's just a nice little diner owned by this kooky old lady named Betty, who's one of the funniest people I know to be honest. Me and my friends love going there for a snack at the end of the day, the place's great.
Christine: Not sure, but there's this one milkshake place that sells the most wonderful chocolate frappes on earth. It's a bit far from my place but gosh it's so worth it.
cooking is a life skill, why haven't you started learning yet!?
Dylan:...Why haven't I learned it? I already have. I know how to cook. And quite well at that, though not perfectly - I'm my sister's legal guardian, do you think I would be able to manage having a moody teenager in my house all the time if I didn't know how to cook? No. I just don't usually have the time and patience for it, so I end up ordering takeout, but I always make us homemade breakfast.
Liam: 'Cause the last time I tried it I almost ended up setting the kitchen on fire, carbonized one of our best skillets, and was banned from the kitchen for a year (laughs). And cause I don't have the patience to learn, and already have other people in my life who cook really well.
Christine: Hey!!!! I know how to cook. Really, really well at that. I hate industrialized food and don't really crave fast food, but I love myself some good homemade food. I cook for myself every day, it's almost like a meditation for me - it makes me happy and calm, and at the end I get to eat something delicious. It's great!
Is there a smell that reminds you of something you never want to remember?
Dylan: Not really, I'm not easily shaken by smells unless it's something really, really freaking strong or pungent, or if its those perfumes that give me a headache cause I'm allergic.
Liam: My friends and I were exploring the woods to try and find out why the place's cursed and what happened to the ghosts trapped inside, but then we stumbled across some...remains? I guess it was the remains of someone who was killed and eaten by the Mayor's ghouls, and the smell of rotten flesh felt like it was stuck to my nostrils for a week. I hated that. I so hated that.
Christine: I'm not sure. I guess not emotionally, but I do hate the smell of salads and especially vinegar-based salad dressings. It makes me wanna puke - and the thing is it's not for any particular reason. It's not a trauma or anything. I just hate the smell, it's foul.
Tagging (gently): @sleepy-night-child, @kaylinalexanderbooks, @smol-feralgremlin, @wyked-ao3, @topazadine @littleladymab,
@winterandwords, @eccaiia, @sarahlizziewrites, @illarian-rambling
@agirlandherquill, @anoelleart, @ray-writes-n-shit
@writernopal, @anyablackwood, @unstablewifiaccess, @forthesanityofstorytellers
@i-can-even-burn-salad, @thecomfywriter
@thepeculiarbird, @clairelsonao3, @memento-morri-writes, @starlit-hopes-and-dreams @amaiguri
@cherrychiplip @thecomfywriter
@differentnighttale, @leahnardo-da-veggie
#wip what lurks in the hollow#food questionnaire tag#oc food questionnaire#writing#writers#writers on tumblr#writeblr#my wips#writerblr#my writing#character writing#my characters
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(Haven't seen much of MN, so this is a very incomplete view)
The thing that puts me off trying to get back into it is what seemed a lack of character responsibility/consequence - to npcs, and each other. (again, just from first impressions, and a few things you've mentioned about MN)
I find the suspension of disbelief harder when you feel a person realistically shouldn't be able to act a certain way without push back. (Chetney attacking that shopkeeper then being capture dozens of episodes later for it, people being scared when Laudna does something scary...)
All I can remember is Beau getting flack from the other pcs for being rude, but that's about it?
I'd like to enjoy MN, and you're pretty objective about it, so would you say I'm way off base with my impression of it?
this is kind of a tricky subject to talk about given i doubt i’m very objective but i’ll try my best to work it out. for the most part, i would say your initial impression feels like it's very much rooted in early c2, so we'll work from there.
if it’s a “how dare nobody yell at jester or punch her in the mouth for being annoying to soldiers or goofing off in temples! she should have been punished for not taking things seriously!” put off, that gives off vibes of “how dare fearne never face legitimate consequences for stealing or trying to steal!” sometimes a joke is just a joke and i feel if jester was given anything harsher than getting thrown out of a library it’d feel gratuitous and kind of cruel. i don’t want to watch jester lavorre get the shit kicked out of her for drawing a dick on a building.
if it’s a “i’m disappointed that the characters will make super important game-changing dice rolls that allow them to coast by in the story without much conflict that would have been interesting to explore” put off, then on some level it does bug me too, but what am i supposed to do if the dice decide beau and veth should get out of jail free by jester giving the hag a cupcake or caduceus sneezing and sinking a million ships or bringing back a fan-favorite character? i do not control the way the dice roll. the same thing just happened with laudna and briarflop
but if it’s a “this serious rp moment was ruined by a joke or they straight-up forgot it happened or refused to engage with it because it didn’t personally affect them at the time” put off, now we’re getting somewhere. i did notice that post-bowlgate the players basically got scared into being a little less punchy with each other in ways that felt realistic (there’s way more gifsets of beau and caleb being actively aggressive at each other post-molly’s death than prior to it, let’s put it that way) and while i do appreciate a lot of the heart-to-hearts i feel like they can get a little… too nice to each other? some of the best moments in the campaigns are when tensions ride high and it isn’t so "yay look at us we are friends" coded. angel of irons arc you will always be famous!
(will say was horrified when both liam and travis said they might have left the nein 80-90 episodes in. because, holy shit what do you mean you were going to abandon everybody?)
this is a problem with all the campaigns; for example, in campaign three they sped right on past the talking tree the second it gave ashton the info he needed and nobody else got a turn with it, which pissed me right the fuck off. though i appreciate that for the most part we always get conclusions to small things that come back to bite the cast later on even though it has been a pain in the ass watching orym’s arduous journey into class consciousness for the past 40 episodes because of the plot getting in the way of the character moments and i just want it to happen already. i know it’s going to happen but fucking when
the one time i genuinely think there was a moment with an utter lack of responsibility or consequences was how they handled xhorhaus and the kryn dynasty. on some level, sure, ashley had a busy schedule and they didn’t have a lot of time to get into her backstory with it but they really did just speedrun getting the bright queen on their side and the moment they had her trust, away went them interacting with the war or with anti-monster sentiment. which felt double weird given fjord and how he was bullied for being half-orc but when it came to that possibly getting addressed in that context… crickets.
and of course… essek. the guy who kind of ruined countless lives without them knowing it. and i agree with caduceus that punishing him then and there wouldn’t bring back all the people he hurt. i can see how caleb could tie his own struggle believing the lies of a superior to his. but then, it’s kind of uneven. caleb was a teenage boy and essek was an adult man. nothing that the nein did or attempted to do (veth threatening to reignite the war as payment for the hag does not count as actually doing it!) possibly matched up to the actions he chose to perform with no coercion. they were also under no pact to allow him to brainwash someone into thinking they did it with the only excuse being “he was a jerk to essek and we like essek!” and having that total stranger getting his life ruined to end the war with zero fanfare.
there could have been an interesting story beat there with someone they trusted and saw as a friend turning out to be a traitor, but they said no, so let’s throw in a sexy beholder to be the last bbeg! and then we can mug an old guy and oops we only have five minutes left in the campaign, let’s set up a five-year-plan to stop the empire which we just now decided needs to go.
i was told there apparently was a huge argument at the end of campaign two about the ending feeling like neoliberal feel-good “change the system from the inside!” trash and while i wouldn’t go that far, i’d say it’s so disappointing because you know it’s not going to work. you know that you can’t change the system incrementally and eventually it’ll be too much to handle and blow up in your face.
conversely, campaign three’s biggest flaw is how violently it shatters the illusion of a perfect fantasy world and makes it impossible to enjoy previous campaigns without that nagging feeling in the back of your head. it shows the world’s ugliness in full overdrive that even a fantasy world is not exempt from. and that can be jarring for people who were just here to turn their brains off and enjoy people doing stuff alongside blue people and magic and the lack of downtime added to that can make people feel like they're just going through the motions or listening to a boring worldbuilding infodump
so i guess, sure, if you’re annoyed by a noticeable lack of consequences with character actions that either get brushed off as jokes or are never fully explored due to the players’ own incuriousness, then you might wanna watch crit recap animated for mighty nein or wait until the cartoon comes out. if you can overlook that, i say give it a shot! it’s still a good story even if i feel like it could have been better had they tried to take more risks and not be so safe with it.
#🍃#critical role#critrole#anti essek#i'm ngl i think this counts as the anti essek essay so um#what do i do for 250 followers. essay about the campaign 3 moms maybe?#send me an ask if you think this counts as campaign bashing btw#i'm not trying to sound like an asshole here but i still wanna tag it if need be#long post
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K, It's the 10th anniversary of Peaky on 12 Sept and I must know, what are the top 10 songs you associate with Peaky Blinders?
Oh Lee @zablife I love this!!! What a beautiful way to blend the 2 things I talk about most on here: music and Peaky! However, it was so hard to pick just 10 - I hope you don’t mind my 2 honorable mentions at the bottom!!
Ok so of course I could have just added 10 songs from the soundtrack that I obviously associate with the show since that’s where I was exposed to them…but I decided to dig a little deeper, look through my playlists, and pick out some songs that make my mind go to the show whenever I listen to them. So without further ado, here’s my 10 (+2) songs — I’ve added links to the songs if you’d like to listen to them:
1. Grandfather Collar by Liam St. John
I just had to include this song because, for me, there’s no better song where every single lyric reminds me of Tommy and his energy.
2. Backbone by KALEO
This one immediately makes me think of the Shelby Brothers in the war — so much so that I just had to make a moodboard based off of it.
3. Brother Run Fast by KALEO
Ok so there’s a few KALEO songs that I can add on here, but I’ll leave it to 2 for the sake of the others haha … this one also has that almost haunting tone to it - definitely makes me think of the brothers.
4. Heavy by The Glorious Sons
The lyrics of the song are pretty self explanatory as to why I’ve associated it with the show. I mean: “it never paid to be merciful” , “I’ll put you down if the group’s what you need” and the opening lyric “come heavy or don’t come at all” are shining examples of why.
5. Heaven Loves A Fire by LAOUD
I like the vibes of this one - they’re rather haunting and I can honestly see it playing over some of the scenes … it also makes me think of Arthur and the struggles he faces throughout the series.
6. Sleeping On the Blacktop by Colter Wall
Another song that’s just got the same vibes as Peaky. A few of Colter Wall’s do — @moral-terpitude wrote an amazing piece with The Devil Wears A Suit and Tie … this one can be another candidate to play over the montages we all love.
7. Work Song by Hozier
I couldn’t make the list without a Hozier song on it … I have a few in my playlist, but I chose this one because of the vibes it gives off. Everyone knows it, everyone loves it - I think it fits the show perfectly.
8. Grim by The Blue Stones
I just found this song/band recently and have been vibing with it. I think a lot of the lyrics match the Shelby Brothers and the whole song has these kind of ‘f-you’ vibes that are prevalent in the series…again, another montage candidate??
9. Make It Rain by Ed Sheeran
Kinda like Heaven Loves A Fire - the vibes are just haunting and the lyrics are pugnent…I think it could either many of the characters.
10. Song of A Dead Man by Taylor John Williams
This is another song that holds strong Tommy vibes — it’s also just overall haunting in its tone and some of its lyrics.
Honorable Mentions:
1. Dipped In Bleach by Liam St. John
This is another artist whose discography lends well to the show … a lot of the songs he has are gritty and the topics he includes really relate well with Peaky.
2. Makin’ It by Bishop Gunn
This is a bit of a lighter song, but I definitely find myself thinking of the Shelby brothers while listening to it - again, mostly Arthur … the lyric “if hells where I’m heading, then I’m making good time” resonates with all of them, I think.
———
Ahh this was so fun, Lee!! I hope you liked my choices!! Like I said - I can go on and on about music — if you’ve made it down this far, thank you for reading!! I’d love for you to share the songs you associate with Peaky Blinders too…I’m ALWAYS looking for new songs!!
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snippet
thank you @louisandtheaquarian and @nouies for tagging me to share a snippet! I finished a draft of the first chapter of the fic I’m working on and I think it’s rough but I reallllllly like the story
“So you all live here in Southampton?” Harry asks, looking around as Zayn and Liam nod.
“Not me,” Louis says, trying to subtly inch away from Zayn, who still has his arm around his shoulders. “My dad has a place here, but I live at my mom’s house in Sag Harbor.”
Harry rests his hand on Louis’ knee, as if to comfort him. No one he’s ever had a crush on has been able to read him so well, so quickly. He angles his body toward Harry, finally disentangling from Zayn, who’s distracted by something over by the game of cornhole.
“It’s really nice,” he says, keeping his voice down so only Harry can hear. “Our house is on the water, and the downtown area is really nice. It feels like a small town. Well, that’s kind of true everywhere in the Hamptons…”
“Yeah, there’s lots of…” Harry gestures vaguely with his free hand. “Like small businesses and American flags and people saying hello on the street.”
“See,” Louis says, tilting his head. “You already get the vibe, you know the area.”
“So why’d your mum pick Sag Harbor? Because it’s a good place to raise a family?”
“Yes and no,” Louis admits, smoothing his hair off his forehead. “It is good for families, but since the divorce, she does whatever she can to avoid my dad. She doesn’t even come out to the house in the summer, she always goes to Europe. I think she’s in Saint-Tropez right now.”
“Oh, I love it down there,” Harry says, grinning. “We try to go every year. There’s this great little Moroccan restaurant that’s a little off the beaten path, Salama. You should tell your mum to go there.”
“Oh,” Louis says, his back stiffening as he realizes that the restaurant Harry is talking about is closed. He doesn’t want to say anything in front of his friends, so he just nods. “Yeah, yeah, I will.”
“Uh, didn’t that place shut down, like, five years ago?” Luke laughs derisively from the log across the fire. “Thought you said you go every year, dude, how did you not know that?”
“Oh, shit, that’s right,” Harry says, rubbing his fingers over his mouth as he appears to remember. “Now that you say that, it’s been longer than I thought since I’ve eaten there.”
“I don’t even know if she’s still there anyway,” Louis says to Harry. He’ll have to murder Luke later. For now, all he wants is to talk to Harry outside of a tennis lesson. “She could be eating Moroccan food in Morocco for all I know. She only checks in, like, every other month.”
“One time, my parents went to Croatia for a month,” Harry says, a laugh bubbling in his voice, “and no one told me. I thought I just kept missing them at breakfast.”
“Oh my God,” Louis laughs. “Really?”
“It’s the God’s honest truth,” Harry insists, holding up a hand as if to swear it.
They huddle together by the fire, and Louis tells Harry more stories about the lengths his mom goes to in order to avoid his dad, and how she ends up avoiding him in the process. The party continues around them, and after a while Harry finally gets up to get a drink. He cracks open a can of beer on his way back from the coolers, bumping into Luke and spilling about half of it on him. Louis hides his laugh behind his hand as Luke’s date dries him off with a beach towel. He almost never gets to see Luke get any karma. There’s a twinkle in Harry’s eye when he sits back down next to Louis, and Louis starts to suspect that Harry spilled the beer on purpose, but then Luke starts cheering at his phone, distracting him.
I’ll tag @crinkle-eyed-boo @allwaswell16 @louandhazaf @kingsofeverything @haztobegood @beelou @wabadabadaba @neondiamond
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Ikemen Villians Suitor Personalities Based On Their Silhouettes (speculation) (joke post)
❣❣❣ Please don't take this post seriously. AT ALL. I expect to be 400% wrong on all accounts. In fact I hope I'm 400% wrong just so I can have a laugh XD
❣❣❣❣ The silhouette file names have character names attached (got em on the official site). I don't know if they're official names or placeholders meant to throw off nosy people like me, so take them with a grain of salt?
❣❣❣❣�� Also if their personalities and names have already been divulged, super-ignore this post. I'm writing this as of 11.03. You saw nothing here. I'm just a weird person prone to simple errors.
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William. The villain-by-circumstance type. Started off as a hero before he became disillusioned. He's a bit of a hard-ass and the kind of man who will see his villainy through to the very end, even if it comes at a huge personal cost (and it already has). His first impression is that he's cold and uncaring, but he's also the same guy constantly saving your constantly-getting-kidnapped ass. Self-taught cook because he's had to feed himself all these years and doesn't trust other people not to poison him. Sleeps naked.
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Liam. Fun, spunky, spontaneous. The life of the villain party. His jokes are the funniest, and often needed to offset how dark the storylines may get. He jokes about how he's William's "after-image" or "echo" on account of how his name is literally just the last half of William's :') It's hard to hate this guy even though he does some pretty fucked-up stuff if you stop and think about it. Or he's this game's haughty tsundere, idk.
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Harrison. Playboy. Is constantly making "jokes" about bedding you. Turns out they really are only half-jokes, because he's very concerned about how much you let your guard down around the other guys. Does not want to admit to himself that this constant form of teasing, something that he considers a blip in his evil grand schemes, means anything more than what it is. Does not want to admit to himself that any room that you're not in feels emptier for it.
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Alphonse. Kuudere. Elegant but deadly. Aloof but surprisingly warm. He's so quiet that half the time you're not even aware he's in the room before he says something sobering and logical to get the discussion back on track. He wants absolutely nothing to do with you. In fact, it irritates him that all the other guys give you so much attention. What's so special about you, he wonders. His stare is chilling and direct and uncomfortable. He will definitely use his coat to shield you at some point, whether it is from the elements or blood spray or the shock of a group of pigeons taking sudden flight. You've basically won the game if you can get him to smile.
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Elbert. The wild-card. His fighting prowess is second-to-none. Flagging him for possible yandere. Flagging him for possible tsundere. His, uh, silhouette, makes me think of someone who's quiet and a bit of a loner. Maybe someone who doesn't want you to get too close to him lest you be tainted with the same evil that has corrupted him, forsooth? Or he's got bad ideas for days and a smile like a shark. I can't put my finger on this guy.
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Roger. Big tol daddy. Reliable to a fault. Definitely gives me villain-by-circumstance vibes, as much as a silhouette with no other information can. If he wants the first thing you notice about him to be his gun, then his primary goal is for you to understand that he's not here to fuck around. He's got a serious personality and he's probably seen some shit. Definitely has/had a little sister. So while he's not above torturing you, he'll always stop short. Alternatively he's super easy-going to distract from the fact that he's doing some really evil stuff when you're not looking.
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Victor. Yandere? A man with a dark memory for every year he spent growing out his hair? A smile that is at once devastating as it is... also devastating? Beautiful and dangerously charming in a way that makes you wonder if you're about to be kissed or about to be killed. There are sensual pros and rational cons to being locked in a room with him. His vulnerable side may be painfully precious. It would be hilarious if he was one of the younger characters, but I'm betting he's in the senpai series.
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Ellis. This dude doesn't sleep and he lives off sugar and whatever else he can pawn off strangers. Half the time he just zombies onto the scene to make a passing comment that makes zero sense before grabbing your hand and taking you off on some equally nonsensical misadventure. That is all just an act, however, because he knows people will drop their guard around him and divulge critical information if they believe him to be a fool. Even then, all his "nonsense" has its own deeper meaning as well.
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Jude. He's got the "daddy" trenchcoat, which I can only take to mean that he is a "daddy" type. I feel like he and Roger either super get-along or hate each other's guts. This guy's just everywhere. Positively everywhere, lounging like he owns the place. He's constantly offering to make you his partner so you can rule together as an evil power couple. May hide an earth-shattering secret.
Like I said, I fully expect to be suuuuper off on these guesses XD
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4 stars
I really enjoyed this, mostly because I LOVE dragons and there absolutely needs to be more dragons in fantasy books. Was this the greatest thing I've ever read? No. But if you like romance and dragons, and simple fantasy setting, I think you'll like it.
When I didn't think too hard about the worldbuilding, the plot itself and its holes, the history of the world, or the mechanics of this world, I liked the book better. That sounds like a bad thing to say. This book has fantasy but it doesn't really buckle down on it because it's more focused on Violet and Xaden.
What I mean is: I don't understand what the war is about or for?? Like they're stopping gryphons and their riders attacking or something?? Why?? But also there's a treaty or something??? They trade certain things but apparently that doesn't stop the war? This has been going on for 600 years but some things have happened over time like the treaty. There was a rebellion not long ago but we aren't told what for. (I know now at the end but not even a good made up reason is given???)
I don't understand how the wards work. How they're created? How they're created? The magic is described enough but like so there's ~wild magic outside the wards and only dragons can channel magic within wards and through people and it won't kill their soul or whatever. It's all a little confusing.
I don't understand the tone either. Is this kind of medieval Europe vibes? But why is the dialogue so modern?? It gives me ACOTAR vibes where its fantasy but modern feeling/writing and its palatable. I prefer my adult books to be more adult-y I suppose?
Parts of this book feel very similar to a mix of books. Quadrants where you are either Healer, Scribe, Rider, or Infantry feel almost like Divergent-y. Violet's brown hair going to silver through the length felt reminiscent of Mare Barrow and then her power literally being lightning felt like Red Queen-ish. Xaden with his dark hair and golden skin and being tall and his shadow wielding powers felt a lot like the usual love interest of any popular book right now. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoyed this book.
To me, I did feel like the pacing was off. The first 200 pages or so was very enjoyable, with her struggling and making friends and trying to survive and claim a dragon. But after that, this book dragged quite a bit. A lot of the scenes felt like they went on for longer than needed. Once she gets a dragon, it's mainly about Xaden and her. I was under the impression that this was meant to be a military fantasy type book, like we were going to like get battles or like discover that the leadership was hiding things. There's like... one scene where Violet and Liam find something about a outpost and the teacher doesn't say anything about it. And they are confused for the page, and then promptly nothing else happens. The way we learn about what the book mentions of the secrets the leadership is hiding and her suspecting isn't really her suspecting at all? She sees it firsthand at the VERY end. It just felt like a misdirection in the summary.
I do like Violet. Is she frustrating at times, yes, but I found her to be a good MC and to actually be smart and tough and capable. I love that the book SHOWS me she's smart, it doesn't just tell me or have her ask a million questions to be answered by the love interest. She's a good person and compassionate. The whole two dragons bonding was a little eyerolling to me but whatever. To be honest, the only annoying thing about her was her not thinking Xaden didn't care for her/love her, when she gave Dain a million chances, and at the end where she acted like everything was lies.
I do like that the book highlights her differences and while there is ableism the book always shows how terrible and shitty it is. I say differences because it mentions that she's sickly but also her joints are weak and pop out/bones break easy but it never specifically states what she suffers from. Maybe it mentioned she's chronically ill but she never shows pretty much any symptoms. She talks about being in pain too. But she's never sick in the books and her bones aren't like glass. So, it did kind of feel disingenuous with its representation to me. She does have to train to get better but everyone has to do that.
There's a big part where it mentions she can't make jumps/pull herself up because not only her disability but she's short. How short is she? Are there NO other short people who experience that problem too about the vertical ascent? Also, a big majority of the book focuses on her being unable to keep her seat on a dragon. It's mentioned MANY people fall to their death. Um?? Why not make saddles a regular thing? It's been 600 hundred years and there's no advancements???
Xaden was good, we don't really get to know him a lot. Other than Violet being immediately hot for him, that's pretty much all we get until we slowly see he's a decent and good guy. I do respect that he never tries to make choices for Violet and he treats her like she can handle herself and helps her. I really admired his loyalty to all the rebellion kids and how he feels responsible for them. It's absolutely asinine and ridiculous that people make children suffer for the actions of their parents. It honestly makes me wonder about how great the dragons REALLY are when they're marking children and going along with it.
I'm also really glad that this was never a love triangle. She shut that shit down so fast. Dain was literally the WORST friend and just so god damn awful nearly every time. And like HE KEPT SOUNDING LIKE A BROKEN RECORD about literally everything.
Big spoilers ahead
When we find out the truth that Xaden's been keeping, Violet acts like it's SUCH a huge betrayal and she hates him because he didn't trust her, etc. Let's not forget that they haven't REALLY been together together for not even 24 hours yet. Plus, like... that's SUCH a huge secret. You have to slowly really trust someone because it could endanger SO MANY PEOPLE. This isn't a "don't tell people I met with a group of other rebellion kids to help tutor them through the year" kind of small secret. This is a EVERYTHING YOU KNOW IS A LIE AND YOUR FAMILY IS COMPLICIT AND PEOPLE WILL DIE IF TOLD kind of secret. I'm not saying she doesn't have a right to be angry. HOWEVER, I think she could be more "I'm angry that you didn't feel like you could trust me, but I understand how big and hard of a secret this is."
Also, we don't know for SURE if Dain did steal memory from her or not. I absolutely wouldn't put it past him to be honest and wouldn't be surprised if he did. HOWEVER. There's a mention that specifically states that command and leadership didn't expect the rebellion kids to survive and bond dragons, and states specifically that they aren't quite sure what to do with them! Xaden and his third years are the first about to graduate!! It makes more sense to me that leadership just either set them up to die because it was an easy solution. Especially since we did have that scene where Violet tells Dain to never take without permission and without asking and he's like omg I didn't ask?? And apologizes. Doesn't mean he DIDN'T DO IT I'm just throwing it out there. It's all just speculation.
I do think I'll keep reading the series whenever the next book comes out. I'm interested and I like the dragons and characters.
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SHIT I FORGOT ABOUT FREAKBLR MONTH SORRY
OK OK I'll just do both days I missed and today's prompt as wlel
Day 13 - a headcanon I have about a member of the jomies
I'm not sure what this exactly entails? Do I just go off and start ranting about each of the jomies or only one??? Ermmm idk I'll just do a bit for all of them (I'll save the sexuality and gender hcs for day 30 ofc)
Drew - Filipino (since his VA is as well), gift giving is his love language and others appreciating his money and gifts make him feel needed cuz his parents always showed him love with money but we're neglectful otherwise yada yada ya get the gist. has an expansive watch but not to check the time (he has his phone for that, which he's on 24/7) but just to show off and also appreciate what his parents give him cuz otherwise he doesn't feel wanted or maybe he feels like a drag idk I'm.spouting random shit rn.. had major depressive disorder. and possibly borderline personality disorder? not diagnosed w anything ofc. He loves feeling needed so when Jake found the music club who he obviously got along w better and that maybe appreciated him and accepted him more for who he is and when he realized Zoey's been cheating on him w someone that provided him w money and other stuff... yeah. loves raspberries. And also loves a bit of rap and maybe some video game music. He flexes his money for status and also bc that might make him feel like he needs them and loves them and they love him. ODFKKD FIFKFKKF. IDFK. it's canon in my head. she head on my canon till I uhh I forgot the meme. he loves zoey, jake, henry, liam all so fucking much, whyd they have to lie to him? make him feel like he could trust them only for them to turn their backs on him?
Jake - half french 🥖 🍟. Has ADHD - inattentive type. Is he diagnosed ? Idfk. Also might have some form of depression as well. He wears a star earring on his right ear along w the silver earrings he's shown wearing all the time. before the finale he mostly has a mindset of "oh, if you just don't expose the unwanted truth, the relationship can work out" which is why he lied and stayed w drew and also didn't tell him abt Zoey cheating on him. like yeah ahaha it can all work out it's fine. Sonic fan bc I'm a sonic fan and I want him to be one as well . He listens to Believe In Myself (Tails theme) all the time like shut up. he HATES horror movies and games - he gets so easily startled. Jomies is his fav band.
Lia - She (and Hailey) is an Olivia Rodrigo MEGA-STAN. I'm sorry how do i.explain. her songs are way too relatable for her and are a way she kind of in secret romanticizes her lfie ???? idfk. She has a crush on Jake bc maybe she could sense he was different from the rest of the jomies...?? like that they were maybe similar (whciht they are..). Idk. Doesn't think highly of herself, is actually pretty insecure and in middle school, despite hating Zoey she felt so oddly envious of her. Everything she had. Which is why she slowly started turning herself into her. Adopting a new style. Straightening her hair. Changing her behaviour. She knew it was wrong and at first just watched by the sidelines as Zoey would torture yet another innocent soul but yeah. Hailey and her are such petty exes shut up. That's what I think anyway. also she listens to lana del rey. i have actually only listened to one lana song but is that her vibe??? idk u tell me cuz i dont. her favorite colour is purple. also she has an awesome mom and at one point vents abt hailey to her and how shes messed up so bad and how she feels guilty. and her parents are pretty rich - idk maybe theyre lawyers or smth. ever since she started faking who she is for popularity, it fucking worked. but shes willing to give up on that in s2. also god let her make up w hailey pls.
Zoey - she also got into Olivia rodrigo lately and constantly talk abt how raw,real and girlbossy her music is while also kindaaa missing the point and emotional meaning of some of her songs. her family always make her feel extremely out of control and hopeless and theyre pretty abusive but zoey doesnt have the right language to explain it and she calls herself girlboss, puts herself above everyone else, cares a ton about her status and wants to be both loves and feared and even goes so far as to cheat on her cuz she has a messed up idea of what actual love is - and that is the way she gains control and the feeling of love, which she has a superficial idea of. and she feels Lesser at home but makes up for it at school. shes obviously popular but most people are just genuinely afraid of what shed do if they opposed her or if she didnt like them. though she still upholds a pretty great reputation and has many friends that love her and treat her like a goddess, at least thats what she thinks. might have NPD? but she aint diagnosed w anything. genuinely cares abt people and loves them but doesnt really Know.? She tries impressing the people she cares about so thatd they have a high opinion of her cuz shes SO fucking desparate for that kind of attention and praise, especially from the people shes closer to, cuz she doesnt get that at home. she also puts unrealistic beauty standards on herself. she loves drew. she loves lia. them? being absent from her life in s2 onward? haha what what do you mean she doesnt care. she didnt need them anyway. cuz shes such an independent girlboss an all yknow. haha. totally. she cheats on tests and otherwise doesnt pay attention to anything. she puts others down to feel above them. her favorite season is summer and she loves boba tea. anyway shell def go insane ik it. also for all the reasons ive given she DESPISES being genuinely vulnerable - it makes her feel lesser and weaker and like anyone cuold take adventage of her. but she will ACT cute and vulnerable and hurt to get what she wants, especially outta drew.
Henry - weeb since early childhood, MHA ultimate fan, chronig gamer (bad at it), masks his negative emotions by just playing the role of the "funny guy". i saw someone hc he has a lettuce fetish and that makes me wanna kill m- the world.
Liam - Mom is usamerican, dad is Serbian (why serbian? cuz hes so vampire coded (his fav colour is canoncally blood red and his fav drink is canonically red blood) and the word vampire comes from the serbian word vampir, and also the mythology kinda comes from around here too. idk) only knows a couple swear words in serbian though and thats it. hes horrible at serbian pronounciationn though cuz he grew up in usa his whole life. Aspec w internalized aphobia.aroflux? idk. chronic gamer (not THAT bad at it). actually more intelligent and emotionally mature than others give him credit for (THOUGH dont get mme wrong he still is pretty reckless). might have adhd? idk. but has horrible grades cuz he doesnt really pay attention to school. giant (tall). reddit user.
IM SO SORRY IF THATS NOW WHAT U MEANT BY THIS DAY. BC IT PROBABLY ISNT. i dont really care
THERES MORE but I don't have time I gotta catch up !!!
anyway I think I accidentally swallowed a bit of dust + dirt. again. throat.not feel good
@31days-of-freakblr
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Book talk
I got another chapter done for 'AFS' and I'm not entirely sure about it.
It's one from Matt's POV, and it will definitely need another run-through before I know for sure if it needs to be changed or not. I like it, but I'm not sure if it is his vibe or not.
I think it's more so to do with that the more I developed of him the more distant he feels than his character before, which is the case in developing characters.
I mean, Kalston is far from the same the more I dig into him, but very much is better. As is with Liam I've noticed the more I write 'ARF' and every other character.
Then again, I think it's more so, that I care for Matt as a character, but he's not my favorite perse. Like if I strictly read him, he would not be my selection. But knowing more about him than strictly a reader would, my appreciation for him is different.
I guess it's more to do with the side you are beginning to see of him now. I'm not sure how he'll be taken.
That, and I think running through the chapter once more will still help me not feel so 'off' about it. About him in it.
There's more to it that too is making things feel different, so yeah, but I think it's mostly, like I said, the more revealed about him, the more I realize will change in the view of him.
There are characters I've noticed I get this way about. I did with my boy David as well. ALmost like developing them more, understanding them more and having more foundation for them then just the surface that was before, it's almost like a loss. It's as if I feel betrayed, not by then, but almost with the writing because I feel like I lost someone I cared deeper for. But I didn't, I just got to know them more. The sunshine character become a bit more depressing because you know they aren't just bright and happy. You get the clouds alongside the sunny days, and it makes you see them different.
I always have to grieve over it a bit. And like I said, the same issue has been with Liam (And I'm sure the rest of that group as well, I've just had more time with him) He's no longer the charming sweetheart, but more so that and a lot more 'I'd burn the world down for you' kind of guy. He was kind of that before, but it shows a lot more in a way that you see that temper instead of it being assumed he'd fight for those he loves. (something you will soon see, but is shown a lot more in 'ARF'.
It's like when you meet get to know someone new you've seen often before. The more you get to know the actual person that idea of them shatters into who they actually are. It's a bittersweet thing. I just hope you guys see the depth of the characters I've been creating as such.
I'm curious how people are going to see Matt the more they get to know him. There are many layers to both boys, there is also more layers to Matt that shape a lens in a different direction than with many of my other characters.
But then again, that tends to be the case with each one as well. Let's just say, my boy is not the same kind of normal. His predisposition alongside the circumstances of his background leads to a very tricky set of issues that are hard for someone to see past both from his side looking out, and others looking in.
I should also preface that I do not agree with everything a character does or thinks. I purposely try to create characters in a way that feel real and authentic, so different views and different personalities will be explored, just as different relationships (and development of) will be had with God and/or religion.
Someone's hate of something isn't the same as mine, nor belief, view, agreement/disagreement of something, a way someone chosen to worship, ect.
That is also why many times I will put polaring ideas in a book and/or my world. Ex: Kalston's disdain towards God and Maddy's devotion.
#books#christian fiction#writing#christian books#fiction#stories#writer#christian faith#spiritual battle#spiritual fantasy#author#original character#character design
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٩(^◡^)۶ kenzoku members messages ٩(^◡^)۶
Jhe - Hii madi!! I know we haven't known each other for a long time and we don't know anything about each other that much but, i just wanna say na we are always here for you, and never forget that. Happy birthday madii!! Enjoy your day! And i hope this message makes your day just a little bit!
Jelo - Madiiii, my bestfriend since 2020 ata HAHAHAHAHAA happy birthday bitch and hit me up always if you need someone and kung want mo punta ako dyan sa inyo shot tayo kimi HAHAHAHA enjoy your day kasi bihira lang ang birthday and mag birthday ka lang hangga't gusto mo HAHAHAHAHA me and rianna is always here for you kahit naman busy kami is nakakagawa kami ng time para sayo hehe yun lang happy birthday ulit :>>>
Val - Hi madi happy birthday! Lutuan kita ng champorado, i hope na masaya ang birthday mo
Riz - happy birthday madibabes! another gurang nanaman sa server, eme. i just wanna let u know na i super love ur cheery personality and everything abt u<33 thanks for all the love and light u give mwamwa we love you bigtime ! enjoy ur dayyy ,<3
Vy - Hi madi! happy birthday my baby, thankyousomuch for always being there for us, even tho nahihirapan ka. you will always find a reason to smile, and make us happy. ik na hindi pa tayo masyadong magkakilala, pero talking to you makes me feel safe, and comfortable. thankyou for always supporting me, and thankyou rin sa minsang pagtama ng mga pagkakamali ko, thankyou for being my pahinga. iloveyousomuch madi. thankyou for being one of the best friend i've ever had. MEET UP SOON PLEASE, gusto ko kayo mahug ni akane. again, thankyou for always being there for us, always remember na nandito lang buong kenzo for you. proud kami sayo no matter what, again; happy birthday ganda! enjoy your day!
Ami - happy birthday madi!! sana gumaling ka pa mag ml at hindi ka na maging bobo sa pag pili. sana di ka pa mamatay
Jazz - happy birthday to the sweet young lady named madi! you've been so admirable and you gave off the vibes na u make efforts for success. I know little of u pero I pray that ur dream will come true soon. enjoy your day and your birthday, and I hope that it's wonderful just like u are. I love youu <333
Ria - Hi madi! Happy happy birthday to you my sweet girl, I hope you enjoy your day! I'll always be here for you, and I'm glad to experience life with you by my side. You will always be the friend everybody would wish they had and I'd take a bullet than replace you with another. I love you and Happy Birthday.
Liam - Happy Happy Birthday to you Madii!! I hope you continue to be a kind and caring person, i also hope that you enjoy your day today. Many many birthdays to come, stay safe, and God bless you and your family <33 We love you.
Sen - Hi Madi!! HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I wish you well on this great day of yours. I'm glad to have met such a nice, funny, and friendly person like you who i now get to call a friend. Sana happy ka lagi no matter the circumstances na kinakaharap mo. i wish you nothing but the best of things. thank you for making us happy with your humor. happy birthdayyyy sana may malandi ka na soon Meri - HI MADII! happy happy happyyyy bornday mhiee and wish ko lng is for ur growth ik u have some struggles in life so intindihin mo nalang habanag wala ka pang pambili ng baril WHAHAHAHA atsaka i think ur really a great friend bc u listens to our rants and ur there for us keep being delulu and pretty labyu!
Temp - happy happy birthday madiii! i know na di ka makakapagcelebrate ngayon pero don't you worry we're coming tp the rescue. we at kenzoku love and care for you very much kaya no matter what you go through, stay strong lang palagi and we got your back. pag may nagaway sayo gripuhan natin, joke! all kidding aside i hope na we can make your day better, enjoy and cheers to more birthdays to come!! <33
Kim - Happy birthday Madi, read me again declaration of indi. Ka age na kita hehe.
Sei - hi madii, happy 17th birthday! sayang wala ako jan inuman sana tayo hehe char, salamat sa pagkinig sa mga rants everytime nag rant ako sayo, nagbibigay ka ng mga magandang advice sakin at lagi kong pinapakinggan pero d ko naman ginagawa lagi haha, sana maganda ang araw mo ngayon bukas at hanggang next year! wag mo kalimutan mahal ka namin lahat sa server at di yun magbabago kahit kailan, happy birthday!
Keikko - hi bebe madi!! happy happy birthday!! i hope this day brings you endless joy, love, and warm recollections. although we may have only recently connected online, it feels like we've known each other for much longer. on this special day, i wish you all the happiness, success, and fulfillment life can offer. may your dreams come true, and may this new year of your life bring you exciting opportunities that align with your passions and aspirations. cherish the connections you make and never stop being the incredible person you are. please know that you can always count on me to be there as your friend, to offer support, encouragement, and a listening ear whenever you need it. once again, happy birthday! enjoy this day to the fullest, surround yourself with loved ones. thank you for coming into my life, even if through the internet, and making it so much brighter!!
q - sup Madigar happy bday 2 u hahahaa keep doin ur usual greetings sa server and I hope masaya ka sa day mo ;>:>:>
Sho - Happy Birthday Madi! We've only known each other for quite a short time. And yet talking with you has been a blessing as i got to learn more about your story and how much fun you are as a person. I kind of wish you were alot more friendlier but i know you'll become more mature. Whatever happens in life, never forget what can and who makes you happy Madi!
Akane - ofcourse, last but not the least, itz me!! :DD happiest birthday to my favorite hoomann!!! <333 i love you very very much, and i just want you to know na you're such a nice and sweet person saaming lahat. alam namin yung hirap na nararanasan mo ngayon, but still, lagi mo kami napapasaya and thank you for that. kahit sakin, lagi kang andiyan mapa chika, kilig, or problema man yan. thank you so much for everything and for being an angel. sana mag meet na tayo soon and ALWAYS remember na araw araw akong proud sayo, at palagi kitang mahal. I LOVE U MY MADI!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY <33
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Rio & Buster Pt.1
Rio: [Okay, so, depending when your birthday falls and when this getaway has been booked for, telling you when we’re told, which is assumedly when you’re like oh I might have a party and he’s like nope, you can’t]
Rio: I’m going on a minibreak for my birthday, thought I better let you know
Buster: Yeah, flights are non-refundable so
Rio: I had to ‘ruin my own surprise’ to find out, sorry
Buster: Of course you did, don’t worry about it
Buster: like I said, I hadn’t booked anything yet
Rio: Good stuff
Buster: As long as you have a good birthday
Rio: Cheers
Rio: sure I will
Buster: See you at Christmas then
Rio: Can’t wait
Buster: Me either
Rio: It’s always good, whatever family drama is happening any given year, no one cares for at least one day
Buster: That’s the spirit, babe
Rio: You know me
Rio: any excuse to be merry
Buster: Right
Rio: [let him go girl, shh]
Buster: [that wasn’t awks at all and his OTT gift isn’t gonna feel so out of the blue or anything after how you left that, oh lads]
Rio: [the way we’re gonna have whiplash about this like what, you don’t hate me again]
Buster: [a very confusing vibe to have to walk into christmas with]
Rio: [I’m like do you say something or wait because lowkey it’s such a massive thing you’d be better to wait in person but also hello, what do I say, oh lads lol]
Buster: [thank god that there are gonna be so many people there so you can avoid each other for a bit without it being obvious until you collect yourselves/have some dutch courage]
Rio: [and people do start their merriment in the AM like savages on Christmas so by the time lunch is there and been consumed, we’re all a little cray, even the children with the sheer excitement lol]
Buster: [He is defs one of those savages because clearly dreading having to see her and also Liam knowing she’s done absolutely fuck all about this and Edam are having an adorable fam christmas moment right in front of y’all’s eyes]
Rio: [Mhmm, there isn’t weird energy at all, totally not simultaneously avoiding and staring at Liam like why and why, not to mention doing the same with Buster for different reasons, what a day, don’t really blame you for getting drunker than you normally would]
Buster: [but if he’s a dick to Liam in some way, she’ll have to say something/take him aside before everyone else is like ??! cos can you not please]
Rio: [a good place to start, at least there’s plenty of places within a pub so areas are quieter than others without it being like why are you chilling here ‘cos sometimes we all need a breather from family fun times lol, not wanting to just push you away so lowkey pulling you to the bar like let’s make you a drink rn haha it’s all fun and games, nothing to see here people]
Buster: [looking at her like excuse you when they get there because he’s the one who pulls her around places usually lol ‘What’ll it be?’ like y’all really are here for drinks but we know that’s not the case because if it was he’d have just got her one she likes without asking]
Rio: [‘please don’t’ quietly but firmly, because the last thing we need is you and Liam having any kind of fight, not even answering about the drink because not the point but we’re not going to stop you making your own]
Buster: [‘I swore I wouldn’t hit him’ like I haven’t and therefore I’ve done nothing wrong]
Rio: [‘you said you’d stay away from him, it’s not hard’ because we know they’re in their own bubble, better and worse]
Buster: [‘for you’ because we’ve noticed you hardcore avoiding that man and also us, obvs]
Rio: [shrug like yes? Like you’re really owning that decision and it doesn’t just feel necessary to the point the opposite is impossible ‘there’s so many people here’ gesturing off to the main function room where basically everyone is, as if we can just pick anyone else and have a gay old time]
Buster: [‘not enough’ because the tea is that there could never be enough people around anywhere at any time to make it easy for him to ignore her or Liam rn but soz hun you’re less important as we’re blurting this out]
Rio: [we can never just outright lie, even if it would make the concept of y’all ignoring/getting over each other so much easier, we just can’t, soz ‘I know’ looking over at said room of fam now, thinking ‘may as well have a [some festive twist on a cocktail ‘cos the only one I can think of is a snowball and that’s a lot to commit to so I won’t be specific lol]’]
Buster: [making that drink for her like the gentleman he is as though he isn’t heartbroken she didn’t spend her birthday with him]
Rio: [aren’t we all boy, aren’t we all, it was clearly a terrible trip before the being outshone fiasco ‘that must’ve been so much money…’ literally as you’re thinking about all this because you have no clue how to bring this up so may as well be accidentally]
Buster: [‘that isn’t what matters’ soz but he doesn’t care about money that’s his level of privilege]
Rio: [‘but it does mean something’ like you wouldn’t just spend a load of money on a literal holiday for anyone, boy, we’re not convinced]
Buster: [‘I meant what I said’ because he did about wanting her bday to be memorable, not making that clear but we know you’ll remember]
Rio: [‘it was me who didn’t stick to what I said’ the I’M SORRY thankfully not being shouted but you know it’s there in how we sound about it ‘I don’t know how to say thank you, though’ ‘cos the word is not enough]
Buster: [‘your birthday should be special’ calling her special and making it blatant she deserves it specifically with the amount of emphasis on the your and there’s also the unspoken no matter what/if I’m there or not and you don’t need to say sorry or thanks being all in his tone and mannerisms rn]
Rio: [‘it’s not like it’s your job to make sure it happens, shouldn’t be’ because we know it really was you doing the most there, despite this]
Buster: [‘I wasn’t going to let [whatever her bf is called whether he’s got his name right or it’s just close enough because not even trying to be shady or funny here with it you’re simply that irrelevant to us hun]’ as if her flop bf could frankly but you’re too !! about it to be cocky ‘it definitely shouldn’t be his’]
Rio: [‘it isn’t, wasn’t’ too fast but we don’t have to be nice about your trip now because you’ve shown your true colours since with all the fallout so ‘I’d have rather stayed home’ like legitimately would have rather have been with our family than what that turned out to be, and that’s not shade by comparison it’s like, at least my mum would’ve given a shit and got me nice things etc]
Buster: [‘You could’ve-’ stopping himself because he’s not so drunk he actually believes she could’ve just told him what a flop this bf was being and dropped it all and gone off with him]
Rio: [‘I’m not good at ending things’ as a fact because yeah, we should’ve but we would’ve felt too bad and this felt easier but it’s not like that did her any favours in the long run]
Buster: [‘I don’t have a problem with it’ because he is that cold bitch or so he projects, we can drop our flop sister like a stone and be unfazed, ignore the whole Chlo/James/Jay situation etc etc, saying this as if he could’ve dumped her bf for her, I lol]
Rio: [‘what’s that like?’ as a genuine question and not a slam]
Buster: [‘necessary’ it sounds like he’s dissing her and calling her a soft touch or something but that’s just how he feels with the life he’s been living]
Rio: [do a breath out like yeah, probably]
Buster: [doing his own like a little sigh ‘go and enjoy yourself, yeah?’ meaning on this ski trip because I doubt very much you have yet with all that bf drama going on]
Rio: [thinking he means right now like oh, okay ‘to the point’ like lol, I got it]
Buster: [doing a wrist grab to stop her from going as if she was gonna leave rn immediately before he can stop himself, excuse us everyone because it’s so soft but so !! ‘No, go skiing’ in such an oh you manner]
Rio: [do a little soft lol because truly not what we thought you were saying ‘right now? Can I have time to pack?’]
Buster: [shaking his head like nope leave get out, but he’s clearly as amused ‘I’ll send you [however many outfits she would need for however long this trip is, just being listed cos you know he’s thought hard about every aspect of this trip and imagined her there in every possible scenario not at all casually and we’ve gotta spell that out to her]’ as if that’s nbd and not the most daddy vibe]
Rio: [sitting down as he’s speaking and not taking your eyes off him like you are literally entranced by this story he’s telling you right now because it’s too everything you’re about ‘you’ve already sent me outfits’ as if any of those date night lewks will serve you well for a ski hol but you have to remind him so he doesn’t think you’ve forgot either]
Buster: [‘you’ve already worn them’ which sounds like outfit repeating is a crime and that’s the only reason they won’t do but likewise gotta remind her that he’s seen the pics of when she has for the absolute mood that is]
Rio: [‘I wore [one of our faves] on my birthday’ really blurting that out but we have to because the point is we were thinking about you, not whatever we were doing]
Buster: [giving her a compliment really specific to that particular outfit whether the colour brings out her eyes or it’s flattering in some other way, the point is, he’s letting her know he remembers said outfit vividly because he does every outfit she tried on and he bought that day + leaning in to say this basically in her ear so nobody else hears it so that’s an added mood]
Rio: [closing your eyes because if you look at him right now you know it’s going to be THE most ‘I’ve missed you’ because something you could say, not technically a cause for concern]
Buster: [how innocent that is not would make him die though, saying her name with so much feeling in response but quiet enough it’s just for her thankfully]
Rio: [reaching out to hold his hand because there’s a bar y’all are basically hid behind so it’s not gonna be noticed and maybe you’re just trying to move him so you can squeeze past on the off chance it was ‘will you forgive me about my birthday?’ seriously because we do feel bad about it]
Buster: [looking down at their hands and back up at her as if she only did it to be forgiven but he can’t help but play with her fingers the exact same way he did when they were on their dinner date because he knows she’s being serious actually ‘Will you spend the next one with me?’ since we all remember when he said he’d spend his 19th with her, so promise to do the same, thank you]
Rio: [a face like who, me? So innocent it is now the opposite, nodding SO enthusiastically ‘if I have a new boyfriend, I’ll dump him’ so casual, not like this paired with us resting our other hand on your leg is giving the most loved up vibes ever ‘I swear’]
Buster: [‘Don’t get a new boyfriend’ as if that’s so casual and not the most possessive thing you’ve ever said, boy, and paired with him doing the kind of move where he’s acting like he has to get past/go behind her to reach something on this bar purely so he can brush up and press against her]
Rio: [we’re pushing back against you because there’s no world in which we’re capable of doing anything but ‘I don’t want one’ on the gasp you also HAVE to do; like boyfriends just happen to you, kinda, but the what we actually want is blatant and there’s no point denying that]
Buster: [meanwhile we can’t deny the noise that’s escaping from him when he tries to answer her by saying good or whatever he was gonna say, thank god this pub is noisy and full of peeps always when y’all are around each other, it wouldn’t be loud but there’s no styling it out if anyone else heard it]
Rio: [looking back at him like you didn’t realise how in his way you were like oh no, flipping round to face him to do the dance of moving him one way and yourself another like there we go, lemme help you but really you’re just pressing against him in another way ft eye contact]
Buster: [I love this for you both, dangerous and ridiculous though it is and we’ve gotta add to it him lifting her up so she can reach something because she is smol and that’s believable, not at all just seeing how many positions y’all can be in and how it feels, nope]
Rio: [acting like the noise you’re making is you struggling to reach something as you stretch and not what we all know that it is, pass whatever random thing you’ve now picked up to him ‘teamwork’ like you’re just getting on exceptionally well and this is very platonic and you’re not holding the thing between your chest and his so you’re that close]
Buster: [also sitting her on the bar at one point like she’s so in your way you’ve gotta for a sec but we all know the real reason and if you wanted her out of your way sir you wouldn’t be standing as close as you are still]
Rio: [never wearing a long enough dress/skirt for all this so we know that you can see a lot right now and we’re absolutely fine with that and our face is only red because it’s warm with all these people around, grab a bag of crisps and share them with him by popping them in his mouth at random intervals]
Buster: [I’m so relieved that those crisps are shutting him up somewhat though it won’t stop him asking her ‘Do you need me to take you outside for some air?’ like that’s not TOO dangerous and I forbid it lol, just being a concerned cousin btw, if anyone’s listening in haha]
Rio: [putting his hand on your forehead like am I hot, do I feel hot? When you know you do because you casually feel like you’re on fire ‘it’s the wine’ like wine is a code now because of your dinner date shenanigans, wrapping your own arms around his neck to help yourself down off this bar because any way you can touch him and get him to touch you without it being ‘too far’ is what we must do in this moment]
Buster: [managing to stop himself from going too far with touching her entire face and neck despite how much he wants to because he does have that opportunity to help her down from the bar that he’s ofc making the most of and he’s also shamelessly gonna put an ice cube in her mouth because again can’t get away with rubbing it all over her body but it could just be another crisp or a moment like it, so we are kidding ourselves here]
Rio: [having to hold his fingers between your lips, even for a split second, because yeah, you could be fakeout biting him for bants, but we’re barely even thinking about the excuses at this point]
Buster: [y’all are spiralling and I can’t even blame you with how insane the levels of tension between you have been for the longest time, but thank god there are loads of family members around to cockblock y’all from going outside anywhere together without even realising that’s what they’re doing because we simply wouldn’t be able to stop you from hooking up rn otherwise]
Rio: [mhmm, too much family, not enough randoms and distraction, like some child is gonna come over and want crisps themselves in a minute or an adult is gonna want another drink, so you have to stop, because we’re literally tugging at the hem of whatever he’s wearing on his top half, like are we trying to get you to take a layer off because you’re hot too or are we simply pulling you into us]
Buster: [I’m too here for this I’m like yes do it, Junie no, we cannot, I’m not rewriting st paddy’s it was great, get away from each other for a bit, thank you]
Rio: [as long as you don’t fully hookup, and lbr, we know you’re both into the idea of getting away with as much as you can in front of the fam so, go take your moments to calm down before it’s not undetectable and we know it won’t be long before you gravitate back together]
Buster: [mhmm we all know you would have been getting up to shit at the christmas dinner table if you weren’t trying to ignore each other at that point, we’re gonna have to say some of the fam get together to play cards or something so you can have a moment like that cos I love a cliche, not soz]
Rio: [that’s a very real vibe, for now, to separate you for long enough, gonna have to say Grace has found and thus cornered you to paint nails or something because that’s not something you can do together without raising eyebrows]
Buster: [me immediately like stay away from Nancy please Grace, knowing what’s coming for y’all]
Rio: [knowing that that kicks off the upcoming Summer, ew, literally like 12, grow up, yes we would throw your nails under the bus right now but we aren’t to know how strange you’re gonna get lmao]
Buster: [do anything but fight Liam to the death, meanwhile, Buster, I know you lowkey don’t wanna spend time with anyone else ever but find something]
Rio: [it’s the way that once we allow ourselves to start, we literally can’t stop checking for him, like he’s not going anywhere and yet 👀]
Buster: [it’s so mutual though, to the point that someone really should’ve clocked it, so many of y’all like Tess and Ali are out here calling themselves observant and knowing but here we are again]
Rio: [the lies we tell ourselves like this hasn’t happened before lmao, oh lads]
Buster: [they gotta be on the same team for whatever game this fam are playing so they can sit really close together with bent heads and all that jazz as well as being on opposite ends of the table for something else, hitting all those poss cliches]
Rio: [absolutely, how you’re going to concentrate in any of these games is another thing entirely but you have to try]
Buster: [this boy is so competitive he’ll find a way to still win somehow lol, god bless]
Rio: [love that for you, as does this girl because we’re not here to downplay any of your achievements just because people think you’re too cocky for their taste]
Buster: [not soz he is actually smart and hardworking and good at things and not just cocky because he’s hot and rich or for no reason whatsoever]
Rio: [we’re here for him for so many reasons and not just because he’s hot and rich, soz haters, and we will have a glorious time despite the still palpable tension]
Buster: [there’s nothing you both love more than doing the most in front of this fam, like we said, and every chance to push every possible moment as far as they can is being taken during every game that’s being played, for sure]
Rio: [sorry it’s basically their kink, we wouldn’t have got this far otherwise]
Buster: [exactly and soz but she’s also had a shit bday and all round shit time lately so she deserves this, imo]
Rio: [my boo says let her have her incest lmao but seriously, the way we’re no longer freaking out about Liam or our breakup, wasn’t going to happen any other way huns]
Buster: [nobody talk to me btw about how he’s putting protective distance between her and Liam at all times in such a deliberately subtle way so that nobody else will be able to say anything but he knows she is and feels safe because that’s so adorable and important]
Rio: [it’s so fine, not at all killing us because of course we can feel it]
Buster: [like, if there was any doubt about how deeply he actually cares, we can’t act like it’s purely a lust thing when he’s doing all this thoughtful chivalry]
Rio: [oh we know y’all are in love, even if you’re now on the, we just wanna fuck, train of thought to rationalise it]
Buster: [the question is, can we think of any more xmas traditions and activities y’all can use to flirt indecently lmao]
Rio: [hmm, what else do we do on xmas, it is mostly drinking and games and telly, there could be a movie put on and y’all can either watch and be cosy or use it as a chance to piss off for a minute whilst most are distracted?]
Buster: [I was thinking that because pubs have tvs, also karaoke is always an option that you could use to piss off for a bit because he’s not gonna wanna be involved in that haha]
Rio: [a good shout, even if it’s gotta be all xmas songs for those of y’all wanting to belt ‘em out]
Buster: [so let’s do the best of both worlds and say you watch the film but piss off during karaoke though you might not be able to be as cosy and couply as you want during said film depending what babies and young kids exist because we all know they gravitate towards Rio because she’s that maternal gal]
Rio: [that works, I don’t think there’s a huge amount of kids here because it’s the Bibi part of Gen 4 which is mostly non-fam peeps, Libi is nearly 1, Ro is preggo and Toni and Archie exist, that’s about it? Because the younger part of Gen 3 are still tweens, basically so yeah]
Buster: [how awks she’d feel around Libi rn makes me sad]
Rio: [it is sad because you’re so the bitch to be after cuddles normally so it’s noticeable but literally Toni is the only one old enough to be toddling about and I’m sure you’re kinda clingy to your mother for obvious reasons so]
Buster: [you’re welcome for the lack of fam cockblock for once though lads]
Rio: [it’s a relatively good time for y’all to be sneaking, unintentional but very helpful lmao, like to think you have a spot by the fire for that christmassy cliche]
Buster: [yes, I love that, also a good reason for y’all to wanna leave that spot when karaoke starts because it’s just too hot by a fire]
Rio: [it’s a very good excuse that is more legitimate than just pissing off because he doesn’t smoke and we don’t smoke weed to the level we need to do it Xmas day thank you; but whilst the movie is on no one is gonna raise an eyebrow at blankets and being closer to share said blanket because that’s the point]
Buster: [you’d honestly look weirder if you weren’t snuggling is the excuse, tis the vibe]
Rio: [not sorry we’re taking this and running with it because when else are we having the excuse to be lying our head on his chest]
Buster: [enjoy how wild his heartbeat is because there’s no controlling that however calm and collected he acts all the time]
Rio: [we really would be because if you needed any confirmation he was also in this and not just playing, there you are, squeeze his hand for that hard same]
Buster: [so glad that a blanket means he can put his arms around her so tight without anyone knowing about it because that’s what’s going happen]
Rio: [making a happy little squished noise like when you are bear hugged, but literally not louder than the volume of this TV so only he’s gonna hear that]
Buster: [moving like we’re just settling and getting comfy but really he just wants her to keep making happy noises only he can hear because we know he’s so about it]
Rio: [we definitely are, it is who we are, wrapping our arms around your middle in this snuggle, looking up at him]
Buster: [can’t really get away with her being fully on his lap but getting as close to that as we can, she’s on his leg definitely, very unintentional santa vibes of me there lol]
Rio: [soz we can’t sit still because you know exactly how we feel about that festive vibe]
Buster: [doing the playing with her necklace move again from their date but this time moving the clasp back round to the back of her neck and really doing the most to touch it and her hair + breath on it which isn’t even deliberate at this point]
Rio: [thank god for the cosy vibe because we are red as fuck right now, crossing our legs so we’re even more sitting on you without it being super apparent we’ve really got comfortable]
Buster: [gotta touch her leg and just leave his hand there when she’s drawn all that attention to them, can’t not]
Rio: [little sounds from the effort of not moving excessively to move his hand further]
Buster: [don’t want her to shh ever but doing one in her ear purely because of how hot it is]
Rio: [pushing your head into his chest like you’re headbutting him for shhing you but again it’s the effort of having any chill]
Buster: [gotta make his own sound about it, we’ll pretend it’s like she’s winded him with that headbutt but it’s so not]
Rio: [tap his lips literally as fast as that to shh him so it looks purely like bants and not because you wanna feel his breath again]
Buster: [shamelessly pulling at her dress under this blanket the way she did his top before as if it’s not short af and barely there already because of how she’s sitting]
Rio: [the intake of breath we do as we instinctively push against you, cannot let it out casually]
Buster: [this boy just throwing what caution there was to the wind and bringing her the rest of the way into his lap because duh]
Rio: [having to cover your mouth like you’re stifling a yawn so the ‘fuck’ doesn’t fully escape because we are dying now]
Buster: [as per it’s beyond mutual and he’s just trying to fully bury his head into her neck and hair, regardless of how not at all casual that is rn, saying his own ‘Jesus Christ’ so quietly but so !!! and on that baby’s bday as well, sir, putting that necklace clasp in his mouth for a sec, blink and you’d miss it but she obvs will not]
Rio: [gripping onto his legs so hard under this blanket because we can’t handle how this feels and how you’re acting rn AT ALL ‘Buster’ like you’re just whispering for him to stop hogging the blanket or something and not that your brain has malfunctioned at this contact]
Buster: [he can’t even say her name back rn because he’s too !! we’re all just trying to cum and simultaneously not cum in front of our entire extended fam and by all I mean you pair of utter feral savages, the way he has so dramatically manoeuvred her so that they can make the most intense eye contact for a sec because he can’t speak, if any of y’all see that, no you don’t]
Rio: [it is only sheer dumb luck you do not kiss him because this proximity and intensity demands it but luckily you remember in time and your head lands by his ear instead ‘I want this’]
Buster: [literally, it’s a miracle you both can still keep some awareness of where you are and the things you absolutely can’t get away with, almost proud of you tbh ‘I know what you want’ because he do and he wants it just as much, please whisper that, thanks so much, even though you are moving slightly to make the point and that’s not very subtle]
Rio: [‘please’ like it’s feasible and you can when you’re already both too close to losing control here]
Buster: [‘we can’t’ as he’s continuing to behave in a way that totally contradicts what he just said]
Rio: [‘you can’ moving further back on him like see]
Buster: [when you were gonna do another shh in her ear like no no don’t be silly but then she moves and he’s dying and trying not to MOAN so he ends up just grazing her earlobe with his teeth for a sec, very much like the quick bite of the necklace clasp, thank god for all her hair so it just looks like you’re trying to whisper very quietly and be considerate]
Rio: [biting the inside of your cheeks so hard because it’s like you passed on the MOAN with that earlobe attention, shamelessly letting his body entirely support yours at this point as a must]
Buster: [he knows what she’s doing because of course he does and even though he isn’t allowed to hear her MOAN fully right here or right now he cannot help desperately wanting to because this is the feral point they’ve reached, so obviously moving in a basically involuntary way like please do it]
Rio: [soz we have to touch ourself because there’s just no way to stop it, its not like you can see from your POV because the point is no one should be able to, moving his hand to his lap like go on]
Buster: [you’ve got this far, boy, there’s likewise no way you’re gonna stop now and be like um no that’s my limit]
Rio: [making your little whimpering noises every time you make accidental contact here]
Buster: [he can’t even shh her any more soz everyone but he’s as close to losing it himself]
Rio: [excuse us everyone nothing to see here, just doing our best to silently masturbate]
Buster: [mhmm, not like the way he’s breathing on her skin again is indecent af because he really wants to kiss her and can’t, no no, and it’s not as if you’ve set yourself an impossible task here]
Rio: [not like it’s entirely too close and would be so easy to take this even further but you cannot]
Buster: [you’re trying to hold onto that last fleeting piece of self control and we respect it]
Rio: [if this film ends before y’all, you’re gonna be fuming]
Buster: [realistically I doubt that even with how careful and near silent you’ve gotta be with all your touching you’re both so ridiculously turned on rn it’s only a matter of time]
Rio: [being able to feel everything you’re doing is all it would take, never mind the situation of where you are and how you’ve been all day ‘you-’]
Buster: [Exactly, I’m honestly surprised it didn’t happen as soon as y’all started touching yourselves, lowkey impressive of you both tbf ‘no, you’ the childishness of that response isn’t lost on me and isn’t reminding me of y’all’s truth or dare moment, it’s fine]
Rio: [just saying ‘you’ over and over, not doing more than mouthing it but with increasing desperation in our expression]
Buster: [whispering her name back the way he could not when he was too overwhelmed as such a definitive no, you because !!!]
Rio: [‘holy fuck’ under your breath because you will never not react the hardest to him saying your name]
Buster: [just like he will never not be so into the way she reacts to it or over getting to say it in this context]
Rio: [‘give it to me’ because a thing you could say if he’d taken your phone or snacks or anything because we need to make you cum and we know how loud in comparison we could say that will get you because it does us]
Buster: [it really would, she knows him so well, you’re gonna have to like fake a sneeze or something sir idk because of how you’re gonna move when you do and there’s no stilling that with sheer force of will]
Rio: [a casual ‘coughing fit’ so we can smack you on the back, by which I mean hold you SO tight whilst we ride this out with you]
Buster: [I was literally like aww as if that was the most romantic thing ever, calm down Junie, a great idea though my boo]
Rio: [calm down is right lmao, I don’t even know how you’re gonna]
Buster: [mhmm, take the rest of this film to try and recover from how intense all that was, physically if not emotionally, because yeah idk how you’re gonna even begin to process any of that]
Rio: [like really, we cannot just sit here and finish this film with y’all like that didn’t just happen so get up, even if you have no real aim of where you are going, just take a sec]
Buster: [soz that you can’t also immediately get up because that’d be weird so you actually are gonna have to sit there and pretend that didn’t happen and hope the fam are engrossed in this film enough that nobody catches your eye or anything because idk how you wouldn’t simply pass away if they did, you’ll have to wait for a while before you go to the bathroom and clean yourself up, but please eventually do, hoping you don’t cross paths with Rio because that’d be awks]
Rio: [soz only one of you can piss off at a time and we moved first because we needed to, nobody come talk to us, thank you]
Buster: [Especially not Edie or Libi or Nancy thanks so much]
Rio: [At least Nancy is the only real candidate for that, even though we’re gonna wanna literally die for that, she’s oblivious]
Buster: [too real and he can’t even come and save you this time because can’t be in the proximity to you rn soz gal]
Rio: [let her brag about her presents probably like she’s a child, you don’t need to really listen, be in your own head about what just happened there and what’s happening now]
Buster: [the other girl from the posh school who I ended up friends with after my german work experience but did not like did that to me once and we were also literally 18, girl no, I hope you gals aren’t propping the bar up because when he’s cleaned himself up he’s gonna drink some more, bad idea though that is and if y’all are he’s gonna have to go direct to the cellar and we all know what’s happening down there on st paddys so that will send me if that’s where you end up hiding for a bit, boy]
Rio: [y’all can be outside ‘cos I’m sure you smoke, all posh girls do and you have a complex about trying to be skinny so you’re welcome boy]
Buster: [again, someone should really question why he’s drinking like a savage again but in this fam that isn’t gonna happen, we all know who your dad is]
Rio: [we all know y’all got your blindspots and this is deffo one of them lmao]
Buster: [I’m sure you and Nancy are still beefing so you can’t steal her stash this time, unlucky hun]
Rio: [when you simultaneous want to talk to him but also never have to see him again so you gotta say something, good idea or nah
Rio: Don’t be weird, yeah
Buster: I’m not, I’m being merry
Rio: I didn’t mean you were
Rio: just that there’s no need to
Buster: You either think I already am or I’m about to be, neither are nice of you
Rio: No, I don’t, don’t question my niceness
Rio: ‘cos I meant weird specifically around me, not in general
Rio: not that anyone here would notice anyway…
Buster: specifically around you is what makes it not nice
Rio: It’d be rude of you to ignore me, yes
Buster: No, it’s rude of you to imply I’m going to ignore you now
Rio: Okay, rude of you but understandable
Rio: I just asked you not to, really
Buster: Understandable because you’re assuming I got what I want and that means I’ll just dismiss you
Rio: Nah, that’s not what I’m saying
Rio: it’s fine, you’re fine, I’m fine
Buster: You’ve called me out on my bullshit for using the word you just used 3 times in a row
Rio: I’m trying not to be awkward, because we don’t need to, that’s all
Rio: but I’d get it if you were, how’s that for better wording?
Buster: You don’t have to try so hard to be or not be anything
Rio: Oh, great
Buster: You know what I mean
Rio: that in trying not to be weird, I’ve been massively weird, yep, thank you
Buster: Well, you are talking to my sister, of all people
Rio: You think that was my idea?
Rio: I was cornered
Buster: You’re allowed to tell her to fuck off
Buster: What else is Christmas for?
Rio: you could, sure
Rio: I can’t
Buster: Fine, I’ll do it for you
Buster: hold on
Rio: Not what I meant, no
Buster: Still, you’d be lying if you said you don’t want me to
Rio: In the fantasy where your sister isn’t also my cousin and someone I’m gonna have to see and talk to, as well as the rest of them
Buster: No, in our real lives where she’s a fucked up person
Rio: I’m not in the best place to judge her now
Buster: Don’t, it’s not even close to a similar situation
Rio: It’s not but it’s still not good
Buster: It’s not a crime, there’s no need to punish yourself as if you’ve committed one
Rio: I’m not, I can’t avoid her any more than I could before though, it’s unrelated but true
Buster: Yes you can
Rio: If I acted like you, people would notice
Rio: it might seem like everyone’s completely oblivious but
Buster: You care more about making a scene, when it suits you, than you do holding people accountable
Rio: When ‘holding people accountable’ achieves nothing, sure
Buster: Playing fake nice achieves nothing
Rio: I’m fake now
Buster: Yeah, sometimes
Rio: I don’t have time to not get along with people just because
Buster: It isn’t just because, it’s distancing yourself from someone for a valid reason
Rio: You have to live with her, for the time being, I see her occasionally, of course it’s different for you
Buster: Jesus, at least counter what I said with your own valid excuse
Rio: This isn’t about Nancy
Buster: Not exclusively
Rio: I’m not dumb, I know you’re talking about the Liam thing
Buster: It isn’t just about that either
Buster: it’s about you, putting yourself, and how you actually feel, last all the time
Rio: How can you even say that when I just did exactly what I wanted, despite how much of a problem it would be for everyone else if they ever found out
Buster: You did the opposite of what you wanted on your birthday, to keep the peace
Rio: It doesn’t matter now, he’s dumping me anyway
Buster: Of course it matters, it’s your whole mindset
Rio: You are too drunk to be trying to fix my life
Buster: Tell me to shut up like you mean it, at least
Rio: I dunno why you’re being so mean to me
Buster: I’m trying to help you
Rio: I don’t need help, but it’s always nice to know how shit you think I am
Buster: You don’t think you do because you don’t see it as a problem
Rio: I’m not sitting here telling you your whole personality is a problem
Buster: Mine is only a problem for other people, it doesn’t cause any for me
Rio: That’s really nice
Buster: I told you, I’m not, and it wouldn’t get either of us anywhere right now if I was
Rio: We aren’t going anywhere
Buster: You wishing I would stop doesn’t mean I’ve hit a wall
Rio: Shh, go drink some more
Buster: Have a drink with me instead of being passive aggressive as if I’m one of your least favourite relatives that have cornered you
Rio: Are you sure?
Buster: About how much you still like me? Very sure
Rio: You’re such an idiot
Buster: I know your mouth is hurting from having to stay so quiet
Rio: you got that one right, okay
Buster: if I was an idiot I wouldn’t have come up with a fun solution that’ll numb and clean it simultaneously
Rio: 🙄😏
Rio: that’s the excuse, huh
Buster: I don’t deal in excuses, I deal in opportunities and this one is perfect for getting to see you
Rio: and if anyone asks why I was biting the inside of my cheek…?
Buster: Why would they?
Rio: I mean, don’t ask if you don’t wanna know, pretty obvious
Rio: so I’ll have a drink with you but I don’t know about you looking at me
Buster: Are you daring me to make [her fave drink] with my eyes closed?
Rio: That would be pretty impressive
Buster: It’s too late though, I’ve already made it and it’s waiting for you here, like I am
Rio: so let me distract your sister quickly or she’ll be asking you to make her her own drink when she follows me
Buster: She can ask but she won’t get
Rio: just me
Buster: There’s different rules for you, our own rules
Rio: I like that
Buster: But it’s a shame they have limits or I’d have another solution for how sore your mouth is
Rio: It’s rude to tease me with what I can’t have
Buster: It’s not my fault if you aren’t using the mistletoe to your advantage
Rio: it’s a bit late to go ‘round the party and make that look like it’s not personal, you could’ve set out the ground rules earlier
Buster: You could be taller and then I wouldn’t have to be the one reaching up to steal it
Rio: Are you being serious
Buster: No, I don’t really want you to grow [however many inches lol]
Rio: 😅 Not the part I was referring to
Buster: Well, I seriously want to kiss you, I thought that was obvious
Rio: If anything was going to change your mind, it would’ve been what we just did, that’s what I thought
Buster: Did it change your mind?
Rio: not at all
Rio: and I would have to die if you felt the opposite
Buster: Please don’t, it would definitely ruin Christmas for me
Rio: And everyone else’s, not to big myself up or anything
Rio: I want to kiss you so badly
Buster: Everyone knows I only care about myself, babe
Rio: That’s not true
Buster: How else do you explain the fact that I got you something but decided against bringing it after you didn’t shower me with thanks for your birthday present?
Rio: I didn’t want to just send a message, it didn’t feel like enough
Rio: then everything blew up with [flop boyf]
Buster: Fuck him and your lack of communication, I’m gonna go home and get it
Rio: And leave me? I just convinced Nance she NEEDED to do karaoke
Buster: We’ll have our drink together first
Rio: [Come join him at this bar like oh hey, as if there’s anything casual about how !! you are to be this close to him again]
Buster: [passing her this drink that was not at all casually waiting for her with such a lingering touch because if Nancy is doing karaoke there’s no way everyone isn’t watching how hilarious that is]
Rio: [I dread to think like oh honey you humiliating yourself but you pop off hun because we’re too busy being distracted and having a moment, cheers with eye contact as you sip always]
Buster: [normally he’d love nothing more than to witness Nancy’s humiliation but that has not even registered to him as happening and he could not care less, soz our only priority is LOOKING at her]
Rio: [‘you know how much I love my birthday present, don’t you?’ putting a hand on his shoulder ‘cos that could be casual enough but it is not right now]
Buster: [‘As much as you’ll love your christmas present’ cocky but true, whatever you’ve bought her, I’m trying to think of something that could be a reminder of y’all’s date but like I don’t wanna just hand her a bottle of wine]
Rio: [‘you don’t have to go get it’ but not in a I DON’T WANT IT way just like, I don’t need it if you don’t wanna go, btw, leaning ourself against your side, so casual, sipping, not LOOKING at you every chance we get]
Buster: [‘of course I do, I should’ve given it to you as soon as we got here’ because kicking himself that he didn’t bring it, we know why you didn’t but it’s bought and wrapped and everything]
Rio: [‘maybe not that soon’ like we had to sit through the meal and socialising with other people, because we know your gifting slaps and we’ll be in no mood for any of that nonsense after ‘give it to me in private, somehow’ looking around like I know there’s people everywhere but]
Buster: [leaning against her like a lil nudge because we know exactly what you mean but he’s also impatient af ‘You should come with me, you can open it there’ that’s how you know he’s drunk just suggesting a casual trip the baze gaff as if she has any business going with him when he says to them he’s going back for a sec for something he forgot/needs]
Rio: [when everything in you wants to grab his hand and run basically but you also know what would happen and are thinking over every possible thing it could mean for you both, biting the side of your mouth unthinkingly then being like ow lol ‘you wouldn’t want to come back’ after a while because true, neither would we]
Buster: [when he just knows, drunk or not, that she’s biting her mouth even before the ow reaction so doing the softest don’t gesture in the form of how he’s touching her wrist before he grabs some ice off the bar and puts it in her mouth the way he did earlier except not because it’s so lovingly, and all this is the lull of time before she speaks again ‘we don’t have to’ you very much do have to come back though, soz hun]
Rio: [as if you weren’t thinking about kissing him before, now it is ALL you can think about as you’re letting him take care of you with the biggest hearteyes ‘you only leave early when you have somewhere else to be’ because neither of you is a, I now wish to snuggle at home with a hot chocolate and a TV special type, so yeah, it’s not being bought]
Buster: [‘I’ll lie’ sir you cannot Nancy will know even if nobody else does that you don’t actually have plans]
Rio: [‘What if your parents or sisters come back?’]
Buster: [‘Ava wants to be here and my parents have to lie that they do too for slightly longer’ not mentioning Nancy because she can clearly be heard doing this karaoke and we know the messy flop isn’t going home early ever]
Rio: [the cinematic vibe of her just wailing in the background is tres amusing, thus we have to do a little giggle because wow, just looking at him like can we, I don’t think we can but maybe ‘you’re hard to say no to, you know’]
Buster: [it’s giving that gal singing when her little brother is absolutely losing it and I’m so amused, like, they couldn’t be more in love here, he’s giving hearteyes and a half at how adorable her giggle is while that performance is going on ‘give in to me then’ didn’t have to say that in such an intense way either did you sir]
Rio: [😳 ‘I want to’ the tone underlying how much of an understatement those three words feels to us ‘I want what you want’]
Buster: [I’m sorry that I simply refuse to let this happen, lads, she’s gonna have to have some kind of sibling crisis or something that starts occurring right that very sec so they don’t run, lord knows there’s enough of you and it makes his point of her putting everyone else first even more valid]
Rio: [it’s easily done and plausible, you can be snatched away by anyone literally right now, we don’t need to specify or have it be any sort of actual drama, just family nonsense]
Buster: [the point is, it’s a dose of reality before she gets chance to get carried away and plot device to send him on his own and separate y’all even though he’ll be lowkey fuming and more in the mood to throw it at her now lol, sulk on your way there and back hun, you have time]
Rio: [hence I better not even message you when this inevitably gets resolved before you’re back because we know what you’re going to think to that happening lol]
Buster: [mhmm we all know it’s not that deep and you should’ve just said fuck it and gone but it just isn’t who you are, at least him needing to go back to the baze gaff is more believable now he’s lowkey angry af because it’s like oh you really are annoyed you don’t have such and such and absolutely should go and get it yeah you big grump]
Rio: [everyone like you go calm down sir and we’re just stuck here now like thanks guys, definitely knocking back more drinks ourself]
Buster: [she’s gonna have time to get drunker herself and level the playing field here because he isn’t rushing back the way he would’ve when he first said about going to grab it, he’s probably gonna take twice as long as he should and I’m definitely gonna say that he has a massive row with his flop twin when he does return because no he has not calmed down enough, though he did try, and I’m sure you’ll say something bitchy or whatever gal if you’re outside smoking again but because you’re also a diva you’ll carry it on when he tries to walk away and just go inside]
Rio: [big yikes, when you know this mood is your fault but also if you intervene, it’d have to be you taking Nance away to bitch and that’s also going to piss him off so you’re just watching like I hope an adult tells you to shh Nance because I’m not able to put myself in the middle of this one]
Buster: [I’m so sorry baze you don’t need your children going at it to the level they are when you already don’t wanna be here, at least they can threaten Nancy with being taken home like a child if she doesn’t stop acting like one because how nasty this would and could be getting is a BIG yikes, but I do like to think that Ava could take him aside and calm him down since Rio cannot]
Rio: [this is true, save the day girl, baze tell that bitch off, casual family domestic, everyone else look away and pretend you do not see]
Buster: [Poor Ava should not have to but the reality is baze are busy and nobody else is gonna get through to him, so soz gal, thank GOD that preggo Ro would have already left because the last thing anyone needs is her getting involved/sitting there holier than thou like a judgy bitch]
Rio: [you wouldn’t handle it if they turned it on you hun so pipe down]
Buster: [gonna have to say whatever his gift for Rio is, it’s small enough to fit in his pocket because he can’t be doing all this whilst swinging a gift bag around because that is TOO MUCH visually for me to handle and also everyone would be like UM who is that for]
Rio: [imagine, no, we can’t be having that, Nancy would have literally snatched it, it’s too much for now hun]
Buster: [I’m cackling at the thought, lord knows when or how he’s gonna give it to her though because this is AWKS]
Rio: [when Ava has left you we can take that as our cue that you’re at least calmed from the Nancy of it all and come over with a drink as a peace offering]
Buster: [taking it and downing it so he can immediately walk away from her to make the point to her that he’s still annoyed at her specifically as if that was not obvious, without actually making it really obvious to everybody else]
Rio: [sit down wherever he was sat like well, that went well, didn’t it]
Buster: What have you got to say that isn’t a bullshit peace offering?
Rio: Why does it have to be bullshit?
Buster: Because you’re not sorry and you don’t want what I want
Rio: because you get to decide all that for me
Buster: It was your decision and you’d make exactly the same one again, you always fucking do
Rio: If I didn’t, then [whichever sib/sibs came over and ruined this] would’ve seen us go together, could’ve followed, any number of fucking things you don’t want to happen either
Buster: If you didn’t they would’ve had to solve their own problem and god forbid they do anything without involving you
Rio: If Ava needed anything, you’d do it without hesitating
Rio: it happens more because I have more brothers and sisters, I can’t help that
Buster: I’d die for Ava, the difference is she doesn’t need me to because she’s allowed to be capable and can sort her own shit unless it literally was life or death
Rio: Don’t talk about my siblings like you know anything about them
Buster: I know you
Rio: I missed the part where I fucking asked them to come over and distract me
Buster: I didn’t realise you’d also missed the glaringly obvious established pattern
Rio: You know what, fuck this
Rio: you blame me for everything
Buster: Christ, take some responsibility, you shoulder enough of theirs
Rio: Maybe you’d get it if your sister had a baby when she was 16
Buster: My sister wouldn’t, so I guess I’ll never get it
Rio: [walk away from wherever you are to the bathroom for your storm off]
Buster: [I know you’re in a mood but OUCH that was uncalled for and v rude actually, sir]
Rio: [not in the mood for our fam to be slut-shamed, thanking you lol]
Buster: [that went well, oh lads]
Rio: [when you do just wanna piss off home now but instead you have to come out and go sit with your fam to make a point]
Buster: [when you knew you’d gone too far and regretted saying it like the second you said it but you don’t wanna just come at her with a drink peace offering after calling hers bullshit so you’re just looking over at her like !]
Rio: [obviously we notice because even though we’re doing our best living my best life with my family act, we’re also sneaking peeks at you because duh]
Buster: [Eventually coming over when he can stand it no longer and being like ‘Can I talk to you for a minute?’ because he do know her and she’s not gonna make a big scene in front of the fam, gotta chance it]
Rio: [thank the lord, not unhinged like your sister because imagine if we just started brawling you here and now; but no, get up and go like okay]
Buster: [find some privacy please, nobody needs to be overhearing this convo, the awks silence as you have to walk to wherever you’re going RIP]
Rio: [lmao the awkwardness just die]
Buster: [when you get there ‘I shouldn’t have said that’ because no you shouldn’t]
Rio: [‘say what you like’ with folded arms because we’re not impressed ‘it’s what you meant’]
Buster: [‘It’s her life, she can live it how she likes, I didn’t mean to bring her into it, none of this is about her, not really’]
Rio: [‘well, all my family are beneath you in various ways but I know I’m the biggest problem, you mentioned it’]
Buster: [‘No they’re not, they were just in my way’ blurting out that truth because not that much of a snob actually, underneath it all]
Rio: [looking at him to see if he’s being truthful and not just trying to cover himself, even though he’s not really that bitch and you know it, so just nodding like alright ‘they exist, the whole family does’ shrugging like it’s in any way casual ‘there’s nothing either of us can do about that’]
Buster: [‘I know’ lowkey so frustrated and sad that there’s nothing they can do to make this alright with the fam and be a normal couple because he hates being that bitch, he’s always had options before]
Rio: [do a sigh because it is both of those things ‘It’ll never be different, there’s no point pretending’]
Buster: [‘So what is there a point to?’ like okay if that’s the case what do we do, like should I just walk away now or what]
Rio: [a lowkey look of disbelief ‘why do I have to work it out?’ because we’re both headfucked here, boy]
Buster: [‘Because it’s always me’ blurted out in the manner of Effy’s why don’t I get to be upset moment but slightly less dramatically, because we’re having a full identity crisis here as he’s always the bitch who knows what to do and suddenly he isn’t and it’s really !!! ‘and I can’t-’ we’re having so many emotions today]
Rio: [immediately softening because we don’t like being mad and especially not at you ‘hey, it’s okay’ squeezing his hand like listen to and believe me there ‘no one is ever going to find out about what happened, there’s no pressure to work it out from anyone but us, there’s no time limit, like’]
Buster: [‘I’m sorry’ when does he ever say that but likewise when does he ever almost have a breakdown like he just did a sec ago so]
Rio: [rubbing his arm gently like I know ‘me too’ because we are in terms of it being a headfuck of a situation but we also know not everything you said about us is untrue we just didn’t want to hear it right now ‘look, if it isn’t worth it, then don’t but-’ making eye contact because obviously we want to and we aren’t going to say otherwise or you’d never go there lads ‘all we’d have to do is some planning before seeing each other, it’d be so much easier’]
Buster: [giving that eye contact back in a way that means YOU’RE WORTH IT without actually saying it because you cannot rn or you’ll end up ruining all our excellent cockblocking and I won’t allow that mr + handing her over this beautifully wrapped gift because whatever it is will defs prove how true that is because of the date reminder and how feelsy it is]
Rio: [I vibe that you pull him somewhere even more private just to be doubly sure to open this gift and not be interrupted by anyone, because we are going to have EMOTIONS and y’all don’t need to see and we need the time and space to fully appreciate, tah, gonna have to hug you because what else and how else can we convey how !! we are ‘thank you’]
Buster: [this hug being everything though because you both have EMOTIONS and nowhere else to put them]
Rio: [we are SQUEEZING you and burying our head into your chest]
Buster: [really giving this his ALL for someone who isn’t a hugger and god knows when he last did hug somebody, probably one of baze when he was a little child, proud of you, hun]
Rio: [well done boy, we love to see it, literally, looking up at you]
Buster: [resting his chin on the top of her head adorably while she does that because simply must]
Rio: [doing a happy sigh instead of a sad and frustrated one, although yeah we’re still frustrated but in a different way than a sec ago]
Buster: [let her go before there’s a kiss which isn’t allowed lol, instead fix her hair that you just messed up as a shameless excuse to just play with it and be soft]
Rio: [close your eyes and enjoy that sensation ‘I should’ve gone with you’ quietly, after a while of just chilling]
Buster: [‘I forgive you for not going if you forgive me for being a cunt when you didn’t’ because so many shoulda woulda couldas already and there’s gonna be so many more at different points cos this is a headfuck]
Rio: [just nod because of course we do ‘but I might not forgive myself for it’ like I’m mad, fyi]
Buster: [‘if you don’t, I’ll have to make you’ oh the daddy energy is back okay then]
Rio: [‘yeah?’ in the most please tell me more tone ever]
Buster: [‘I’ll have to guarantee all your regrets are distant memories and the only vivid ones from today are [and obviously recounting all your extra antics, not just during that film but before too which obvs I don’t need to because we can re-read it if we need to remember]’]
Rio: [the way this has your breathing noticeably getting faster and shallow ‘it’s been a really good christmas’ after having to swallow dramatically to calm down enough to speak]
Buster: [touching her throat after she swallows, as dramatically, there’s no need ever ‘the best so far’ because always gonna top it and y’all can enjoy thinking about what next year could be like and all the ones after, why not]
Rio: [melting into your touch like he can keep his hand there forever ‘it’s nice being friends again, so we can stick together’ because need to have no excuse to be seen with you all day]
Buster: [‘I’ve never had a friend like you’ because true in every sense, saucy and actual]
Rio: [‘I’ll be your best friend, if you want’ likewise all the ways we could mean that]
Buster: [‘I do want us to be that for each other’ so sincerely because it’s lonely at the top sis]
Rio: [smile so big because you care about him and he cares about you and it’s everything to get that confirmation]
Buster: [the actual intake of breath because her smile is so beautiful and he can’t deal before he’s then trying to get a not at all subtle look at the bitten inside of her mouth because he’s a drunken nerd and he cares that much bye]
Rio: [laughing and playfully pushing his face away like what are you doing ‘so weird’]
Buster: [‘I’m not, I’m being friendly’ the way that’s said though and then a he's putting his finger in her mouth and really softly feel where she’s bitten the inside of her cheek to shit, obvs checking the other side too and the inside her lip because gotta be v slow and indecent and thorough about this]
Rio: [the moans you can’t hold back literally with how you are in this moment ‘it hurts’ however distorted that is by his literal fingers in your mouth because we must]
Buster: [dying about it because you’ve been able to make so little noise ever, be it on your date or on this day so it’s really new and !! and of course feels like she’s being louder than she is and like y’all are closer to being caught than you are which we know you’re both into, so the way he not at all casually pushes her against a wall or whatever surface wherever they are rn like gotta hide even more is a response to all those things as much as it’s also just him being overwhelmed]
Rio: [‘OW’ ing like that also hurt way more than it did so you don’t make more indecent sounds about it but the way we’re LOOKING at you, you’re going to know how we’re actually feeling]
Buster: [the LOOK he’s giving making it known that he’s not at all sorry despite how soft he’s being holding her atm as if to make up for lowkey slamming her into something]
Rio: [‘you’re so determined to show how nice you aren’t’ standing on your tiptoes so you can ‘fix’ his hair aka run your hands through it]
Buster: [‘I want you to know so badly’ because when she said she wanted to kiss him so badly, the exact same energy, picking her up slightly so she can reach easier the way he helped her at the bar before]
Rio: [‘I want what you want’ saying each word deliberately because we do and you said we didn’t when you were pissed off so hear it, tugging his hair just slightly because we’re serious ‘You’re so-’]
Buster: [‘I shouldn’t have said that either’ likewise saying each word as deliberately because he’s as serious, at the same time as using the same fingers he put in her mouth in the same manner but running them along her flaps, for lack of a better word lol, as if we gotta know how wet her underwear is from the outside never mind the inside and that isn’t already a well known fact by this point]
Rio: [When this contact is the realest and furthest you’ve gone so far because there’s absolutely no flimsy excuse for it, should you be caught, and this has you stunned into silence, even if you cannot help moving towards his touch]
Buster: [you’re gonna wish that you were stunned into silence sir because that same thought would have the opposite effect on him cos he’s extra, we know, and it’s your turn to make a SOUND that is too loud for where you are and soz but this isn’t the feral free for all of st paddy’s so you’ve simply gotta either hear somebody go past/talking or something and therefore be like !! about if they heard you, because this cannot be a hookup moment and it will if y’all don’t get scared straight]
Rio: [it’d be a total amateur move to jump away from him like you’re on fire, so you just about manage that but as close as we just pushed ourself against you is how far we’re getting away, trying your best to look casual and not like you’re on the highest alert for two reasons now]
Buster: [both of you not breathing just here like 👀 but he’s always the boy with a plan who can get himself under control so ‘I did say a minute’ because he did to your fam you were sat with like maybe you should go because it has been longer than that and you can’t keep pushing your luck like this, lads, not tonight at least]
Rio: [nod, in a daze at first but as you’re pulling your clothes back into place, nod more confidently like yeah, you’re right ‘why did you wanna talk to me?’ like what’s the story because it’s not what it actually was]
Buster: [the cogs in his head visibly turning like oh yes we need a cover story because truly you do, obvs it’s easiest to blame Nancy because everyone saw that fight with her and things have been rocky between y’all since your bday and she do be a huge bitch so it’s not inconceivable that you act like something she said/did was Rio related because she’s a mess she won’t remember and nobody would be on her side if she said she didn’t, just thinking all these things out loud, putting together the pieces in a conspiratorial whisper vibe]
Rio: [that all tracks ‘I can make up the rest’ putting your present in your bag carefully ‘make you look bad but not quite as bad as her, like’ with a lil smirk like sounds about right, yeah?]
Buster: [his own confident nod like yes exactly because he knows she knows what she’s doing and he can trust her obvs or none of this would be happening]
Rio: [wave at him as you get out of this hiding place like okay then ‘see you later?’]
Buster: [when you really wanna pull her back in and just stay here and even start to do that before you can stop yourself + all the moves to lean in to kiss her but then you remember that you absolutely cannot start down that road again so you’re like ‘yeah, see you later’ whilst your lips are close enough to brush against hers, nbd but at least it feels like a to be continued/promise that way so that’s nice]
Rio: [‘why-’ when you likewise can’t stop yourself from starting to ask a question you already know the answer to, not that you mind the continued sensation of brushing your lips against each others, tortuous though it is]
Buster: [‘You know why’ didn’t need to say that remotely but we’re prolonging that sensation and this moment shamelessly]
Rio: [‘I forget’ because that’s the truest thing you could possibly say]
Buster: [‘It’s really fucking easy to’ because same]
Rio: [‘If we got caught now, we’d be the only ones who knew we didn’t kiss’ because you basically are]
Buster: [‘If we do, we won’t stop at a kiss’ too true ‘and we’ll still get caught before we want it to be over’ again true, you have no chill and mid hook up would be so frustrating you’d actually die]
Rio: [when you know so you don’t need to say anything ‘you didn’t let me go’ as if you made big attempts to leave]
Buster: [‘I tried’ because it would really feel like he made such a big effort to because that’s how hard it is rn and how much they don’t wanna leave each other]
Rio: [‘Third times meant to be a charm, so-’ walking away like you can bring me back this time and you better lol]
Buster: [Doing it with such a !!! move, if she thought she was getting thrown around before it’s nothing compared to this moment here ‘It should’ve been me making you cum’ pinning her hands above her head as he says this like he’s so offended at them for doing it during the film instead and it goes without saying that he’s also dry humping her to within an inch of her life in the way they could not then because they were barely able to move and this time he’s doing the absolute most]
Rio: [‘It was’ blurted out as you’re shifting all your weight onto him, pulling him closer by his belt ‘it’s been you for ages now’]
Buster: [‘on your birthday’ not a question because we know it, she wore an outfit for you despite the fact you weren’t there so]
Rio: [‘how could I think about anyone else?’ soz not soz flop boyfriend but we know he won and it wasn’t even a close competition]
Buster: [sucks to suck flop and he’s SO into it as evidenced by his v enthusiastic responses rn, telling her about his absolutely savage behaviour when she left to go to the airport and he was left to his own devices because whatever you did to deal with how turned on you were, we know it was beyond extra]
Rio: [we’re moving ferally fast because 1. We don’t have time to waste and 2. This is how hearing this makes us feel ‘did it feel as good as this?’]
Buster: [‘nothing feels as good as this’ really emphasised by how difficult it would be to get that sentence out and how it sounds when he does]
Rio: [having to bite his top because you can’t bite him yet but you also genuinely hurt your mouth before and you also want him to know how hard holding back is for you too ‘no one has done it like you’ almost mad at how true that is]
Buster: [idk how her dress isn’t getting ripped in response to all of that, sheer luck and luck only because love everything she’s doing and saying so much ‘no one does anything like you do’ the truest thing, everything she does however mundane or not is next level compared to anyone else]
Rio: [‘you don’t even know yet’ because we have done nothing in the grand scheme of things even though it feels like everything ‘I wanna be in your head as much as you’re in mine’ pressing our forehead against his, continuing to grind against you as we use the movement for leverage]
Buster: [‘You’ve been in there for years, you never leave my thoughts’ because aware that she is gonna have to go fr in person in a sec as much as we don’t wanna be thinking about it]
Rio: [hiding your face in his neck, doing frustrated little whines because yes, we do not want to leave, thanks family and universe ‘it’s so stupid’]
Buster: [doing everything he possibly can rn so they don’t have to think about it and frustrated isn’t how she feels, he’s a man on a mission, including another hot shh of course but in a there, there, I’m gonna make it okay and you feel better way not like shut it please]
Rio: [grip onto the back of his shirt like your life depends on it because you’re dying ‘I can say your name, not just think it’ and proceeding to do so, in his ear so you aren’t being as loud as it would seem to y’all in this moment]
Buster: [biting his lip so hard but the moan escapes nevertheless because that’s how into it he is and always will be, excuse us everyone]
Rio: [looking at him the most 🥺 ‘you’re the most attractive boy I have ever known’]
Buster: [saying her name back with all the feeling in the world because 🥺 likewise always kills him]
Rio: [‘we should’ve done this last year, and the year before…’ just going on and on, matching the time of your thrusts, forever and always is the vibe]
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there’s so much beauyasha to mention in 126 and it cannot all possibly be mentioned (bless whoever made this compilation video) but here are some highlights for ME
yasha going out of her way to buy that anti-scrying cream to try and protect them from being scried on was just so sweet. i mean maybe she got swindled who can say but all she wanted was true, legitimate privacy with beau and that’s precious of her. yasha almost never buys vanity items so i love that she wanted to do this, like she REALLY wanted that (1,000 gold!)
veth/beau. gosh what a scene. love sam always, ik that’s controversial because some people feel like he trolls too much & has been undercutting the beauyasha of it all but no honestly love his vibes he always brings humor and heart to his scenes and he always makes me laugh and this one with beau was so sweet & genuine & helpful, veth bought beau a flower to give to yasha that’s so wholesome. and beau wanting to wear a bowtie omg���
“i’m going into this with no expectations and on yasha’s terms and her timeline” MS. MARISHA RAY said we drink our ‘respect our traumatized potential romantic partner’s boundaries’ juice in this house
“i could be likable. *deep breath* yeah. i could” oh beau you sweet sweet bebe
love how much the m9 want this date to happen. caleb orchestrating everything, veth’s pep talk with beau, everything jester and fjord have said to them in the past episodes (esp jester encouraging them to be open about their feelings the whole poem scene my god), then of course caleb and cad shoving them into the tower together like ‘no y’all are going on this date please have a moment of happiness’ -- because like… they wouldn’t, you know? they both probably feel like it’s selfish to take that time if something else is more pressing. if they needed to go back to cad’s home or if they needed to use up those higher level spells they would have let it happen and never objected. like it’s sad because of course both of them deserve love and deserve to take even just one evening to not be scared for their lives, but mostly just warms my heart because of their love for the group. they’ll de-prioritize themselves if they have to (the beauyasha date getting postponed was basically its own meme at this point) or if it’s necessary and they’ll never complain about it, because that’s just the kind of gals they are. so so so so so glad that the mighty nein are like ‘no stop it go and do this you useless lesbians’ i love them for that
laura bailey fully ducking under her table when yasha doesn’t know that beau wants to hold her hand was me in that moment too
liam’s panting dachshund faces — enough said. everything about the doggies made me so happy, love that beau/marisha thought of that because ashley/yasha literally must scritch every dog she sees
i love ashley’s face as she gets drawn deeper and deeper into beau’s wooing of yasha it is just so wholesome the whole date and all the work put into it clearly just means so much to her and she deserves it!! yasha deserves it (and so does ashley!) and so does beau and bless marisha and liam for making it happen i’m so happy for them
beau: “when i was in kamordah, that fear of losing this family… i almost sabotaged it. just so that i wouldn’t have to deal with the angst and the anguish of wondering if and when and how this family will fall apart. like ripping off a band-aid that was never there. i guess over a wound that was never there. just tried to rip it off for the pain, and nothing else.” yasha, whispering: “yeah. that’s relatable.” (followed by: *laura aggressively mouthing ‘kiss!!!’*)
yasha: “i’m so scared to lose everyone. i don’t want to lose anyone, because i don’t know if i could survive that again.”
“i fell in love with you in kamordah” *swoon*
yasha: “you blow me away” beau, soft as a breath: “feeling’s mutual”
beau: “that’s why you’re my favorite” *intense blushing* yasha: “who me?”
fucking WING FLYING KISS PLEASE MS. JOHNSON i am only human
‘claim the rest of the night with me?’ is such a specific sweet way of phrasing that... marisha’s mind…
beau: “hey.” yasha, whispering back: “hey.” beau: “i love you too” and then ashley’s FACE god damn it
stained glass window hand holding is extremely gay caleb thank you for making it happen
another thing that strikes me is how generous matt was this whole episode. i mean he always is really, he’s always rooting for them, but this time he really was just like “you’re leading the charge and i’m just here for the ride” like breaking all the rules of combat and everything he really said “i’m gonna give the gays everything they want” and i love him for it
#i just love them!#also sorry apparently i'm a beauyasha blog now! it is what it is#beauyasha#critical role#cr spoilers#i love the cast love the gals love them all#ashley johnson#marisha ray#mighty nein
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I already requested this from someone else but I love your writing so much and I wanted to request this from you too! After Olivia’s kiss in book 1 in Lythikos, Liam just breezed over it and it wasn’t brought up again. But what if he kissed Ella to prove to her he doesn’t have moment with anyone else?
Book: The Royal Romance AU
Pairings: Liam x MC (Ella); Drake x MC
Summary: Olivia kisses Liam and Ella sees and gets very insecure.
A/N: Thank you for this Anon! I love getting requests. Ya'll really make my day with these. Hope you like it!
A/N2: Participating in @wackydrabbles prompt will be in bold (the correct prompt - I’m a mess!)
@ofpixelsandscribbles and @alyssalauren thank you for prereading, and Lis, for coming up with this title. To @ao719 thank you for reassuring me about the pinky promise. Love you guys!
Warnings: maybe some angst
Words: 1672
Ella and Liam switched partners during the Cordonian waltz in Lythikos.
“Little Blossom, you’re doing gr-”
The crowd around her gasped, Maxwell stopped mid-sentence and gawked. Ella turned and saw Liam and Olivia in the middle of a kiss. Ella’s chest ached, her stomach churned and her eyes welled with tears. She quickly blinked it away, she was not going to cry in front of the entire court.
“El, you okay?”
She vaguely heard Max speaking to her. “I … yes, I’m fine. But I’m a little tired, so I'm going to go to my room.”
“Okay!” He leaned down and kissed her on her head. “I’ll see you later Blossom!”
Max had no idea how that kiss affected her and that’s how she wanted it. She squeezed her friend’s arm and slipped through the crowd to her room.
A little while later, Ella answered her door and there stood Drake with a vase of red rose blossoms in his arms. There was a note hidden in the bouquet from Liam asking to meet him in his suite.
Drake was munching on some candy as he stepped into her room. “Brooks? Did you hear me? Are you going?”
“No,” Ella buried her face in the roses, taking in their scent. “I’m not in the mood right now.”
“What’s going on?” Drake crossed his arms over his chest and stared at Ella until she looked up at him. “You left the banquet early, you’re avoiding Liam … which is odd because you’re all the time locking lips.”
Ella didn’t answer. She just stared back at Drake as she chewed on her bottom lip.
“It’s because Liv kissed him isn’t it?”
Two can play that game.
She stood on her tip-toes and pressed her lips to Drake's. Ella felt his body tense, but after a moment he relaxed and wrapped his arm around her waist.
"Brooks," he whispered after he pulled back.
"Yeah?"
"What are you doing?"
"Kissing you," Ella opened her eyes and met his gaze.
"Why?"
She let out a sigh. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. I know how you feel for me and-"
"You're trying to get back at Liam," he arched his brow and let go of her.
“I know it’s really stupid,” she blurted out. “I already know, and I don’t need you to tell me that I’m acting irrationally.”
“Hey,” he placed a hand on her shoulder. “Brooks, it’s not irrational. Well, you kissing me was. But … you know he’s not with anyone else like that but you right?”
“How am I supposed to know that, Drake? You Cordonians are not monogamous.” Ella began to pace the room. “I know that’s why I’m here. For him to … get to know other women but … I forgot the part where I’m in love with him and my chest hurts when I see him with someone else.” With her last words she felt it, her voice wavered and her tears began to fall. She clamped her hand over her mouth in surprise and Drake’s eyes widened.
“Oh shit,” he pulled her to his chest. “Fuck, Brooks, don’t cry.”
“I-I’m … sorry,” she gasped out as she sobbed against him.
“Don’t apologize.” He was stroking her hair and telling her it would be okay. Finally, when she was a bit calmer he pulled away. “Better?”
"Yeah, thank you."
“Alright. Get some rest and I’ll see you tomorrow,” he moved towards the door, opened it, and then turned back. “No more of this crying business okay? That was your only ticket for me to console you."
Ella let out a watery laugh.
"Also,” his eyes softened. "Even though I enjoyed that kiss, I know you love Liam. No more of that alright?"
She nodded. Drake smiled and shut the door behind him.
The next couple of weeks, Ella did her best to avoid Liam. It wasn’t all that difficult, he was busy tending to social season balls and gatherings. Every time Max or Bertrand would tell her Liam was somewhere she would go the opposite way. It wasn’t that she didn’t love him, God, she did. With everything in her. But it wasn’t her place to be jealous and insecure, she knew she was here for this. She just wanted to be left alone in her feelings.
The Regatta was rescheduled by the royal family which was unheard of, but it turns out King Constantine’s health wasn't great and he was in the hospital. The court continued to the next stop which was Applewood. Ella, Max, and Bertrand arrived ahead of everyone else and were quickly shown to their rooms.
“I’ll meet you in a bit, Blossom, I gotta unpack and find something to wear.”
Ella nodded and watched him skip off after shutting her door. As she rummaged through her luggage a knock sounded and it startled her. “Max, how did you forget something already?”
She reached for the door, opened and saw a smiling Liam. “Oh!”
“Hello Lady Ella,” he quickly glanced down the hallway. “May I come in please?”
She stepped back, allowed him inside, and shut the door. Ella turned to face him, her heart was beating a thousand times a minute. “Your Highness,” she curtsied. “This is a surprise.”
“Ella,” Liam stepped towards her, concern in his eyes. “Why are you so formal with me? We aren’t outside.”
“I just-”
“Are you avoiding me?” His baby blue eyes gazed into hers and all her resolve dissipated.
“Truthfully, yes,” her voice trembled.
“Why? I’ve missed you, and I apologize for not coming to see you sooner. Now that I think about it, I haven’t seen you since Lythikos and” - Liam’s eyes widened - “Lythikos. This is about that kiss.” It wasn’t a question; he had figured it out without her explanation.
“I know I have no right,” Ella turned away and walked towards the bed to sit before her knees gave way. “You’re not mine,” her voice hitched. “I just needed time alone, that's all.”
Liam’s heart turned over in his chest. He followed her to the bed and kneeled in front of her. “Ella, you have every right to feel how you’re feeling,” she arched her brow and he chuckled. “You heard me. I have been meaning to tell you this but” - he wrapped her small hand in his - “I love you. I have been in love with you for a while now.”
“You …” Ella whispered, her eyes filling with tears. “I love you too, Liam.”
He grinned. “Really?”
“Really really.”
“Promise?” He looked up at her, a vulnerability in his eyes that she never saw before.
“Promise,” she held up her fist, her pinky finger out.
“What is happening?” He asked as he did the same.
“It’s a pinky swear,” Ella’s laughter filled the room as she wrapped her pinky around his.
“Why are we swearing on our pinky’s?”
“You've never done a pinky swear?” The look on his face said it all. “Nevermind,” she shook her head. “So, did you talk to Olivia?”
“I spoke with her outside after she kissed me. I told her she shouldn’t have done that and I don’t return her feelings. I wish you would have talked to me about it.”
“I should have …”
“This is why you didn’t meet me that night.”
Ella nodded.
Liam lifted her hand that was already in his and kissed her knuckles softly. “I’m yours, Ella. I don’t meet anyone outside of these events but you, I don’t kiss anybody else …” his lips traveled up her arm, slowly, ever so slowly. “… and you are mine.”
After hours of Liam proving to Ella that he meant what he said, he slipped out of the room later in the early hours of the morning. The events in Applewood the next day were kind of fun, baking, being crowned Apple Queen, throwing apples at Drake, and then having Liam come to see her that night in her room. Passionate lovemaking was an understatement, especially when a stoic prince that’s supposed to be proper and polite, dirty talks until she explodes.
The next day, the Apple Festival was winding down as Ella sat on the small swing in the garden maze, Liam gently pushing her.
“You seem happy here,” Ella mused as she pushed a strand of hair out of her face.
Liam smiled. “I’m always happy when I’m with you. I love you, Ella,” he leaned down to kiss the top of her head and let out a small sigh. “But it was less … stringent here. My brother and I never wanted to leave.”
“It has a bit more of a relaxed vibe here,” Ella nodded. “I like seeing this happy, carefree side of you.”
“You bring it out of me, you know,” he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her against his chest. “You bring a lot out of me.”
Ella turned and craned her neck up to make eye contact with him. “Like the dirty talking?”
Liam smiled and his cheeks and neck turned red. “I’m not sure what you mean,” he waited a beat. “But yes.”
A loud whistle blew and that signaled the end of the festival.
Ella sighed. “I think that means-”
“It means, we head over to dinner,” Liam pulled her up to her feet and twined his fingers with hers.
“Yeah, but you always go first,” Ella tried pulling her hand away from his but he held on. “Liam, what are you doing?”
“We’re going to dinner together,” he said simply.
“Wh-what?” She stammered. “You can’t … I mean-”
Liam stopped and turned to face her. His facial expression filled with determination and … resolve. “You don’t want to go to dinner with me, my love?”
His nickname for her went straight to her core and it took her a moment to answer. “I-I mean, yes but-”
Her words were cut off by his lips against hers. When he pulled back, her eyes were still closed. “I’m … I don’t remember what I was going to say.”
Liam chuckled and pushed Ella’s hair away from her face. “I don’t care what happens or what they say. My choice is you. I’m telling everyone about us. If this isn’t what you want, say so now.”
“Why are you doing this? You know they’re not going to let that happen before the coronation,” she whispered.
“You felt insecure in how I feel for you; it made me realize that I need to show you that I love you. Sneaking around and hiding my feelings doesn’t help matters. I can’t lose you, Ella. It’s just not a risk I’m willing to take. Will you have me?”
Ella didn’t even have to think about it. “Always,” she smiled and squeezed his hand. “Let’s go.”
#Kisses & Pinky Promises#Liam x MC#Liam x Ella#wacky drabbles#drake x mc#liam rys#Drake Walker#the royal romance fanfiction#the royal romance au#the royal romance fanfiction#choices fanfic#choices liam#trr fanfiction#trr au#trr liam x mc#trr mc#trr fanfic#trr liam#trr fandom#choices trr#trr#trr drake
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Favorite Human
Fandom: Teen Wolf Pairing: McCall!Pack x reader (platonic) Word count: 2.8k Summary: It’s Malia who first smells it - the bitter scent that had started to Infiltrate yours - and she, Lyida and Kira decide to find out what was wrong with you... Warning: Nothing too much really, but it’s slightly Angsty I guess. Also the feels Requested by the amazing, patient and great anon: Hi~,Teen Wolf person again. Can i request a pack image where the reader is hiding something for the pack and the pack are all sort of catching on to it like chemosignals and behaviour. Eventually they kinda piece the bits together and figure it out. they all try to comfort you and help you get better. Something just along those lines.(They could be hiding selfharm stuff, family stuff or they like someone in the group or yeah, you can pick what your comfort writing for) Thank you have a nice day~
The California sun was beating down on Beacon Hills and its inhabitants, a feeling of peace and calm that was - by now - almost foreign in the city laid in the air and prompted the resident teenagers and young adults to enjoy a day away from school, stress and (for a very special group) life threatening situations. This particular group - the McCall pack, as they were known in the supernatural community of the city - decided to spend their free time on a very nice, but fairly unknown clearing in the beacon hill woods and for once being surrounded by these trees didn’t give them the vibe that one of them could probably die at any given moment. It was a rather nice change. “Uno,” Liam smiled as he slapped a +4 card onto the floor, making Mason groan and throw his head back. It was the third time in a row that Liam was winning and while it seemed to leave you completely cold it annoyed Mason to no end, but he couldn’t stop playing either until either you or him finally beat the wolf. While the three of you were sitting in your game circle, Malia, Lydia and Kira were lounging on a picnic blanket enjoying the sun and having their conversation. The only one who was sitting on the grass like a lost puppy was Stiles, phone in hand but seemingly not having the attention span to focus on it for more than five consecutive seconds. Originally he and Scott had been sitting there together talking about Lacrosse or girls or whatever the two of them talked about when they weren’t planning to save the city, but Scott had - after lots of pleading and begging on his betas part - disappeared into the direction of the city to buy some ice cream for everyone. “Y/N?” Liam shocked your shoulder and you had to shake your head to come back into reality and out of your thoughts. “Yes?” you looked at him with wide doe-eyes full of confusion. “It’s your turn.” “Oh, right, sorry, just lost in thoughts,” you smiled apologetically and shrugged before turning to your cards to think about your next move, not noticing how Liam and Mason exchanged a look. They had started to notice the change in your behaviour only recently. Your usual very cheery, always-seeing-the-best-in-everyone-and-everything self started to be stuck in your thoughts more often and your smile seemed just a little bit off lately. “Here you go,” you looked up again and put a +2 in front of Liam earning a quiet ‘Yessss’ from Mason at the prospect of finally beating his best friend, only to be sorely disappointed when a smirk immediately filled Liam’s face as he victoriously added his own - last - +2 card onto the pile, effectively winning the game and starting a rather useless discussion about whether the fact that the makers of Uno stated that putting a +2 on another +2 and making it a +4 wasn’t allowed counted anything. While Mason and Liam kept on blickering you pulled yourself up from the grass-floor and wandered over to the girls who welcomed you with kind smiles and made space for you on the blanket. As you sank down you were immediately pulled into Malias lap who hugged you into her and pressed her nose into your neck and y/h/l hair to smell you - a habit of hers that you had at first found more than disturbing but by now had gotten used to. In fact, the more time you spent with your not-quite-human friends and acquaintances, the more you noticed that they all had their own little versions of that, even though with Malia it was the most extreme since she was still the one running mostly on her basic instincts. At least that’s how Stiles explained it to you. He said that since you were logically seen the most vulnerable and ‘weak’ member of the pack their natural instincts where to protect and shield you from all dangers and make sure you are alright and - after your initial reaction of punching the hell out of Stiles’ shoulder in order to show him just how not-weak you were - you started registering it more and more. It was mostly very little things with Scott, Liam, Derek and in some situations (even though rarely) Peter like little hugs and giving you their clothes to scent you, pushing themselves in front of you in the face of even the most harmless of situations or the way they just sometimes randomly turned up at your house (this was mostly Scott, Liam and Malia though) to check if you’re okay even if they could just call. With Malia it was all that, but times ten in intensitivity. And the smelling. Malia herself wasn’t quite sure why, but she simply loved your natural scent. It always managed to calm her down. So you got used to her randomly smelling at you even if it did weird you out from time to time. Usually she would pull back after a few seconds, give you a happy smile and get back to what she was doing before like nothing happened, but this time when she drew back she looked at you displeased and confused. “Is something the matter?” you asked just as confused and now the other girls, who had gotten used to Malias antics and taken on the habit of just completely ignoring it in order not to get growled at, got curious as well and turned their attention towards you. “Something’s off,” Malia grumbled and scrunched her nose like she’s smelt something rotten. “Oi!” you scoffed and moved back a little, feign being offended, “Are you telling me I stink?” “No,” Malia sighed and rolled her eyes, “It’s not that, it’s just...your scent is- I don’t know how to put it really. Bitter? I think?” “What does that mean?” Lydia asked, her interest now seemingly spiked. “‘M not sure,” Malia shrugged and moved forward to take another good sniff at your hair, only for you to move your head back out of her reach and put your hands on her shoulders to keep her a distance away from you. “I think that’s quite enough,” you chuckled, but it sounded mechanical almost, “I appreciate the concern, but I don’t really think me smelling bitter means anything.” Noticing the way you held yourself defensive, something that you almost never did, all three of the girls wanted to investigate further, but you quickly moved off of Malia’s lap and stood up. “Oh look, there’s our ice cream,” you smiled as if nothing was happening and jogged over to your Alpha to help him. “This was weird, right? She’s acting weird, isn’t she?” Kira questioned and looked between the other two girls who nodded, “What’s that about?” “Not sure, but we gotta find out before the boys notice anything. Malia is bad enough already, but if the male wolfies find out we’ll have a real problem on our hands,” Lydia sighed and inspected you from afar.
After then the three of them noticed it far more often, the way you held yourself changed and your smile seemed to lessen by the day. By the time you started to fold into yourself and Malia said that your smell was getting more bitter, to the extent that she could smell it above almost everything else surrounding you, they knew that it had gotten out of their hands. They had to involve the others as much as they dreaded their reactions. As they had predicted Scott, Liam and - surprisingly enough for a human - Stiles didn’t react kindly to it, immediately planning to confront you. But in a turn of events, their thirst for actions and the girls rational thinking evened each other out and they decided on an approach that was reluctant enough to not scare you away, while also - hopefully - pushing you to tell them what was wrong. They wanted to do it in an environment that you felt comfortable in so they decided to go to your place, but that meant that they couldn’t all come, since they didn’t want to overwhelm you either. So, after a long and exhausting discussion, they decided that Stiles would be the one who’d go in first to make sure everything was clear and then give the others a heads up to follow. The Pack was standing - as inconspicuous as it was possible for a group of five - on the other side of the street your house was in as Stiles was walking down your driveway, welcomed by a cute door plate that had obviously been made my a little child and he was pretty safe in his assumption that you had been the one who had made it when you were younger. After taking a breath of reassurance Stiles raised his hand and knocked on the door. You must have been near the door already, because not even ten second later the door was tipped open and you stared at him with tired eyes, in your alien Pajamas with messy hair. If Stiles had not known better he would have assumed you had tried to sleep. “Who is it Honey?” He heard the voice of your mother scream, but the usual sweet voice he was used to hearing from her was strained and mixed with annoyance. “Uhm...It’s Stiles! My friend from school, he was here last month to study for my english exam, you remember?” “Oh, yes,” your mother walked out of the kitchen and into the hallway, “Hello Stiles.” Stiles returned the greeting, but his thoughts were more occupied by the state of your mother. Her hair looked unwashed and even more messy than yours, obviously not because of sleep, but rather because she hadn’t brushed it in a while, there were red stains under her eyes, the skin around it dry and strained, it didn’t take a genius to figure out that she must have cried - a lot - and her blouse was wrinkled, which he knew from their previous meetings and what you had told him about her would usually be a no-go for her. “Well, if you’ll excuse me,” she smiled, but it was tight-lipped and obviously forced, but before she disappeared into the kitchen again she looked at you, “Y/N, make it fast please.” You just nodded and turned back to Stiles. “Hey,” he said again, a little bit uncertain now, the situation having thrown him off of the plan he had made in his head on the way from the pack to the door. “Hi,” you said and he had to admit that you were definitely your mothers daughter by the way your forced smile perfectly resembled hers. “I wanted to talk to you, uhm, we - I mean me and the pack by that, well it started with Lydia, Malia and Kira, but anyways - we noticed that you’ve been...how do I put this correctly- well, I guess you’ve been off more lately and so we’ve been worried, because usually you smile a lot and you always make unfunny jokes and all that and now you don’t so-” Stiles rambled and just let everything flow out at once, probably would have continued to do so if you hadn’t held up your hand to stop him. “Not-Not here, okay? I’ll answer your questions, but not here. Let’s take this outside, please,” you shut Stiles up and took his arm to lead him out of your house and onto your porch where you sat down on the stairs leading onto your front law. For a while there was silence as Stiles found himself unsure of what to do next, but he could basically feel the piercing stares of his friends on him. After a few seconds of contemplating he sat down beside you, while still keeping a little bit of distance - just to make sure he wasn’t too overwhelming. “So…” “Yeah, so…” “Why...have you been so off?” Stiles asked but honestly couldn’t help but cringe a bit at how completely un-smooth he sounded. “I- It’s-” you tried multiple approaches, but stopped yourself every time, only to sink your face into your hands and sigh, “I’m sorry.” You raised your face again and looked at Stiles and he could see the sadness, this slight sense of despair. “Hey, it’s okay, don’t rush yourself,” Stiles tried to comfort you, “If you can’t tell me that’s okay, we’re just all very worried about you. We want to make sure that you’re okay.” “No, it’s fine, I- I think I actually wanted to tell you all for a while, but- I don’t really know, it’s just been hard for me… My parent’s have been going through some rough patches for the last few months and now my dad - he,” you stopped again and hugged your arms around you, Stiles couldn’t help but notice the glistening of tears in your eyes, “-He moved out two weeks ago. I mean, sure there were signs, it wasn’t working well by all means, but moving out? That was pretty shocking for my mom and me.” By now the tears had started rolling down your face and Stiles couldn’t hold back anymore. He moved closer to you and laid his arm around your shoulder to pull you into him. It seemed that the pack couldn’t hold back anymore either, because only a few seconds either Lydia was kneeling in front of you holding your hands, the rest also finding positions around you - hoping to give you as much comfort as possible. You gave them a wet chuckle, even though your tears didn’t stop flowing. “I could’ve guessed that you’re not far. I’m sorry for being a mess.” “No, Don’t ever be sorry for feeling. We love you and that means that we’ll be there for you through the bad times just as we are in the good times,” Scott assured you and lovingly petted your head even though he knew that you always complained about how it made you feel like a little child or a puppy. “Thank you guys for being here - it’s just a lot right now. My mom is expecting me to be on her side, while my dad keeps expecting me to decide about where I’m going to live now. He wants me to move with him to New York into the city he grew up in, but I don't want to leave Beacon Hills. I have my whole life here, my school, you guys, my mom, literally everything, but I also don’t want to lose him- It’s just, I feel so torn and it seems like every choice I could take would be the wrong one,” you were full on sobbing at that point, but it was clear enough for your friends to understand you. “Hey, It’s okay,” Lydia tried to calm you down, “I know that this seems like an impossible choice, but I can assure you we will find a way. We’ve defeated some of the greatest evils that the world has seen and we were successful. We’ll be just as successful with this, okay?” You started nodding and for the first time in a while you were actually feeling just a little bit like yourself again, a sliver of home filling your heart at all your friends who were by your side and supporting you. “Lydia’s right,” Scott agreed. “There’s one thing I gotta ask though,” Liam started and before anyone else with a little more sense of sensibility could stop him asked: “Why didn’t you tell us before? I mean we’re you’re best friends ri-” At that moment Mason basically threw himself at him and put his hand in front of his mouth to shut him up. “You don’t have to answer that,” Kira assured you, but you just shook your head. “No, it’s fine, I get why he asked. I- I guess I just thought - it’s like Lydia said, we fight evil on a weekly base, we have to worry about so much more serious things than my stupid family drama.” “Now listen to me,” Lydia spoke up in her I-will-take-no-talkbacks-voice and looked at your sternly, “This is not stupid and it is by no means less imporant than anything else we do, okay? Maybe it’s not life-threatening or supernatural, but it is still hurting you and as friends we can’t let anything hurt our favorite human, can we now?” And in that moment everything was okay again - if only for just a few seconds - with your friends by your side and Stiles yelp of protest, because he insisted that he was at least Scott’s favorite human, - earning himself a look from Scott that told him that what Lydia said also applied to him - even made you laugh your normal laugh again. And so, when Malia finally got close enough to you with all your friends surrounding you to smell your scent, she found that your normal, sweet scent was finally returning again, and even though there was still a bitter undertone to it she now was sure that it would soon be back to her favorite scent again.
#Teen wolf#teen wolf x reader#McCall pack#mccallpack#mccall pack x reader#lydia martin#lydia martin x reader#liam dunbar#liam dunbar x reader#scott mccall#scott mccall x reader#stiles x reader#stiles stilinksi x reader#siles#stiles stilinski#mason#mason x reader#malia hale#malia#malia x reader#kira#kira x reader#fluff#angst
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Playtime With Harry Styles
via vogue.com
THE MEN’S BATHING POND in London’s Hampstead Heath at daybreak on a gloomy September morning seemed such an unlikely locale for my first meeting with Harry Styles, music’s legendarily charm-heavy style czar, that I wondered perhaps if something had been lost in translation.
But then there is Styles, cheerily gung ho, hidden behind a festive yellow bandana mask and a sweatshirt of his own design, surprisingly printed with three portraits of his intellectual pinup, the author Alain de Botton. “I love his writing,” says Styles. “I just think he’s brilliant. I saw him give a talk about the keys to happiness, and how one of the keys is living among friends, and how real friendship stems from being vulnerable with someone.”
In turn, de Botton’s 2016 novel The Course of Love taught Styles that “when it comes to relationships, you just expect yourself to be good at it…[but] being in a real relationship with someone is a skill,” one that Styles himself has often had to hone in the unforgiving klieg light of public attention, and in the company of such high-profile paramours as Taylor Swift and—well, Styles is too much of a gentleman to name names.
That sweatshirt and the Columbia Records tracksuit bottoms are removed in the quaint wooden open-air changing room, with its Swallows and Amazons vibe. A handful of intrepid fellow patrons in various states of undress are blissfully unaware of the 26-year-old supernova in their midst, although I must admit I’m finding it rather difficult to take my eyes off him, try as I might. Styles has been on a six-day juice cleanse in readiness for Vogue’s photographer Tyler Mitchell. He practices Pilates (“I’ve got very tight hamstrings—trying to get those open”) and meditates twice a day. “It has changed my life,” he avers, “but it’s so subtle. It’s helped me just be more present. I feel like I’m able to enjoy the things that are happening right in front of me, even if it’s food or it’s coffee or it’s being with a friend—or a swim in a really cold pond!” Styles also feels that his meditation practices have helped him through the tumult of 2020: “Meditation just brings a stillness that has been really beneficial, I think, for my mental health.”
Styles has been a pescatarian for three years, inspired by the vegan food that several members of his current band prepared on tour. “My body definitely feels better for it,” he says. His shapely torso is prettily inscribed with the tattoos of a Victorian sailor—a rose, a galleon, a mermaid, an anchor, and a palm tree among them, and, straddling his clavicle, the dates 1967 and 1957 (the respective birth years of his mother and father). Frankly, I rather wish I’d packed a beach muumuu.
We take the piratical gangplank that juts into the water and dive in. Let me tell you, this is not the Aegean. The glacial water is a cloudy phlegm green beneath the surface, and clammy reeds slap one’s ankles. Styles, who admits he will try any fad, has recently had a couple of cryotherapy sessions and is evidently less susceptible to the cold. By the time we have swum a full circuit, however, body temperatures have adjusted, and the ice, you might say, has been broken. Duly invigorated, we are ready to face the day. Styles has thoughtfully brought a canister of coffee and some bottles of water in his backpack, and we sit at either end of a park bench for a socially distanced chat.
It seems that he has had a productive year. At the onset of lockdown, Styles found himself in his second home, in the canyons of Los Angeles. After a few days on his own, however, he moved in with a pod of three friends (and subsequently with two band members, Mitch Rowland and Sarah Jones). They “would put names in a hat and plan the week out,” Styles explains. “If you were Monday, you would choose the movie, dinner, and the activity for that day. I like to make soups, and there was a big array of movies; we went all over the board,” from Goodfellas to Clueless. The experience, says Styles, “has been a really good lesson in what makes me happy now. It’s such a good example of living in the moment. I honestly just like being around my friends,” he adds. “That’s been my biggest takeaway. Just being on my own the whole time, I would have been miserable.”
Styles is big on friendship groups and considers his former and legendarily hysteria-inducing boy band, One Direction, to have been one of them. “I think the typical thing is to come out of a band like that and almost feel like you have to apologize for being in it,” says Styles. “But I loved my time in it. It was all new to me, and I was trying to learn as much as I could. I wanted to soak it in…. I think that’s probably why I like traveling now—soaking stuff up.” In a post-COVID future, he is contemplating a temporary move to Tokyo, explaining that “there’s a respect and a stillness, a quietness that I really loved every time I’ve been there.”
In 1D, Styles was making music whenever he could. “After a show you’d go in a hotel room and put down some vocals,” he recalls. As a result, his first solo album, 2017’s Harry Styles, “was when I really fell in love with being in the studio,” he says. “I loved it as much as touring.” Today he favors isolating with his core group of collaborators, “our little bubble”—Rowland, Kid Harpoon (né Tom Hull), and Tyler Johnson. “A safe space,” as he describes it.
In the music he has been working on in 2020, Styles wants to capture the experimental spirit that informed his second album, last year’s Fine Line. With his debut album, “I was very much finding out what my sound was as a solo artist,” he says. “I can see all the places where it almost felt like I was bowling with the bumpers up. I think with the second album I let go of the fear of getting it wrong and…it was really joyous and really free. I think with music it’s so important to evolve—and that extends to clothes and videos and all that stuff. That’s why you look back at David Bowie with Ziggy Stardust or the Beatles and their different eras—that fearlessness is super inspiring.”
The seismic changes of 2020—including the Black Lives Matter uprising around racial justice—has also provided Styles with an opportunity for personal growth. “I think it’s a time for opening up and learning and listening,” he says. “I’ve been trying to read and educate myself so that in 20 years I’m still doing the right things and taking the right steps. I believe in karma, and I think it’s just a time right now where we could use a little more kindness and empathy and patience with people, be a little more prepared to listen and grow.”
Meanwhile, Styles’s euphoric single “Watermelon Sugar” became something of an escapist anthem for this dystopian summer of 2020. The video, featuring Styles (dressed in ’70s-flavored Gucci and Bode) cavorting with a pack of beach-babe girls and boys, was shot in January, before lockdown rules came into play. By the time it was ready to be released in May, a poignant epigraph had been added: “This video is dedicated to touching.”
Styles is looking forward to touring again, when “it’s safe for everyone,” because, as he notes, “being up against people is part of the whole thing. You can’t really re-create it in any way.” But it hasn’t always been so. Early in his career, Styles was so stricken with stage fright that he regularly threw up preperformance. “I just always thought I was going to mess up or something,” he remembers. “But I’ve felt really lucky to have a group of incredibly generous fans. They’re generous emotionally—and when they come to the show, they give so much that it creates this atmosphere that I’ve always found so loving and accepting.”
THIS SUMMER, when it was safe enough to travel, Styles returned to his London home, which is where he suggests we head now, setting off in his modish Primrose Yellow ’73 Jaguar that smells of gasoline and leatherette. “Me and my dad have always bonded over cars,” Styles explains. “I never thought I’d be someone who just went out for a leisurely drive, purely for enjoyment.” On sleepless jet-lagged nights he’ll drive through London’s quiet streets, seeing neighborhoods in a new way. “I find it quite relaxing,” he says.
Over the summer Styles took a road trip with his artist friend Tomo Campbell through France and Italy, setting off at four in the morning and spending the night in Geneva, where they jumped in the lake “to wake ourselves up.” (I see a pattern emerging.) At the end of the trip Styles drove home alone, accompanied by an upbeat playlist that included “Aretha Franklin, Parliament, and a lot of Stevie Wonder. It was really fun for me,” he says. “I don’t travel like that a lot. I’m usually in such a rush, but there was a stillness to it. I love the feeling of nobody knowing where I am, that kind of escape...and freedom.”
GROWING UP in a village in the North of England, Styles thought of London as a world apart: “It truly felt like a different country.” At a wide-eyed 16, he came down to the teeming metropolis after his mother entered him on the U.K. talent-search show The X Factor. “I went to the audition to find out if I could sing,” Styles recalls, “or if my mum was just being nice to me.” Styles was eliminated but subsequently brought back with other contestants—Niall Horan, Liam Payne, Louis Tomlinson, and Zayn Malik—to form a boy band that was named (on Styles’s suggestion) One Direction. The wily X Factor creator and judge, Simon Cowell, soon signed them to his label Syco Records, and the rest is history: 1D’s first four albums, supported by four world tours from 2011 to 2015, debuted at number one on the U.S. Billboard charts, and the band has sold 70 million records to date. At 18, Styles bought the London house he now calls home. “I was going to do two weeks’ work to it,” he remembers, “but when I came back there was no second floor,” so he moved in with adult friends who lived nearby till the renovation was complete. “Eighteen months,” he deadpans. “I’ve always seen that period as pretty pivotal for me, as there’s that moment at the party where it’s getting late, and half of the people would go upstairs to do drugs, and the other people go home. I was like, ‘I don’t really know this friend’s wife, so I’m not going to get all messy and then go home.’ I had to behave a bit, at a time where everything else about my life felt I didn’t have to behave really. I’ve been lucky to always feel I have this family unit somewhere.”
When Styles’s London renovation was finally done, “I went in for the first time and I cried,” he recalls. “Because I just felt like I had somewhere. L.A. feels like holiday, but this feels like home.”
Behind its pink door, Styles’s house has all the trappings of rock stardom—there’s a man cave filled with guitars, a Sex Pistols Never Mind the Bollocks poster (a moving-in gift from his decorator), a Stevie Nicks album cover. Fleetwood Mac’s “Dreams” was one of the first songs he knew the words to—“My parents were big fans”—and he and Nicks have formed something of a mutual-admiration society. At the beginning of lockdown, Nicks tweeted to her fans that she was taking inspiration from Fine Line: “Way to go, H,” she wrote. “It is your Rumours.” “She’s always there for you,” said Styles when he inducted Nicks into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in 2019. “She knows what you need—advice, a little wisdom, a blouse, a shawl; she’s got you covered.”
Styles makes us some tea in the light-filled kitchen and then wanders into the convivial living room, where he strikes an insouciant pose on the chesterfield sofa, upholstered in a turquoise velvet that perhaps not entirely coincidentally sets off his eyes. Styles admits that his lockdown lewk was “sweatpants, constantly,” and he is relishing the opportunity to dress up again. He doesn’t have to wait long: The following day, under the eaves of a Victorian mansion in Notting Hill, I arrive in the middle of fittings for Vogue’s shoot and discover Styles in his Y-fronts, patiently waiting to try on looks for fashion editor Camilla Nickerson and photographer Tyler Mitchell. Styles’s personal stylist, Harry Lambert, wearing a pearl necklace and his nails colored in various shades of green varnish, à la Sally Bowles, is providing helpful backup (Britain’s Rule of Six hasn’t yet been imposed).
Styles, who has thoughtfully brought me a copy of de Botton’s 2006 book The Architecture of Happiness, is instinctively and almost quaintly polite, in an old-fashioned, holding-open-doors and not-mentioning-lovers-by-name sort of way. He is astounded to discover that the Atlanta-born Mitchell has yet to experience a traditional British Sunday roast dinner. Assuring him that “it’s basically like Thanksgiving every Sunday,” Styles gives Mitchell the details of his favorite London restaurants in which to enjoy one. “It’s a good thing to be nice,” Mitchell tells me after a morning in Styles’s company.
MITCHELL has Lionel Wendt’s languorously homoerotic 1930s portraits of young Sri Lankan men on his mood board. Nickerson is thinking of Irving Penn’s legendary fall 1950 Paris haute couture collections sitting, where he photographed midcentury supermodels, including his wife, Lisa Fonssagrives, in high-style Dior and Balenciaga creations. Styles is up for all of it, and so, it would seem, is the menswear landscape of 2020: Jonathan Anderson has produced a trapeze coat anchored with a chunky gold martingale; John Galliano at Maison Margiela has fashioned a khaki trench with a portrait neckline in layers of colored tulle; and Harris Reed—a Saint Martins fashion student sleuthed by Lambert who ended up making some looks for Styles’s last tour—has spent a week making a broad-shouldered Smoking jacket with high-waisted, wide-leg pants that have become a Styles signature since he posed for Tim Walker for the cover of Fine Line wearing a Gucci pair—a silhouette that was repeated in the tour wardrobe. (“I liked the idea of having that uniform,” says Styles.) Reed’s version is worn with a hoopskirt draped in festoons of hot-pink satin that somehow suggests Deborah Kerr asking Yul Brynner’s King of Siam, “Shall we dance?”
Styles introduces me to the writer and eyewear designer Gemma Styles, “my sister from the same womb,” he says. She is also here for the fitting: The siblings plan to surprise their mother with the double portrait on these pages.
I ask her whether her brother had always been interested in clothes.
“My mum loved to dress us up,” she remembers. “I always hated it, and Harry was always quite into it. She did some really elaborate papier-mâché outfits: She made a giant mug and then painted an atlas on it, and that was Harry being ‘The World Cup.’ Harry also had a little dalmatian-dog outfit,” she adds, “a hand-me-down from our closest family friends. He would just spend an inordinate amount of time wearing that outfit. But then Mum dressed me up as Cruella de Vil. She was always looking for any opportunity!”
“As a kid I definitely liked fancy dress,” Styles says. There were school plays, the first of which cast him as Barney, a church mouse. “I was really young, and I wore tights for that,” he recalls. “I remember it was crazy to me that I was wearing a pair of tights. And that was maybe where it all kicked off!”
Acting has also remained a fundamental form of expression for Styles. His sister recalls that even on the eve of his life-changing X Factor audition, Styles could sing in public only in an assumed voice. “He used to do quite a good sort of Elvis warble,” she remembers. During the rehearsals in the family home, “he would sing in the bathroom because if it was him singing as himself, he just couldn’t have anyone looking at him! I love his voice now,” she adds. “I’m so glad that he makes music that I actually enjoy listening to.”
Styles’s role-playing continued soon after 1D went on permanent hiatus in 2016, and he was cast in Christopher Nolan’s Dunkirk, beating out dozens of professional actors for the role. “The good part was my character was a young soldier who didn’t really know what he was doing,” says Styles modestly. “The scale of the movie was so big that I was a tiny piece of the puzzle. It was definitely humbling. I just loved being outside of my comfort zone.”
His performance caught the eye of Olivia Wilde, who remembers that it “blew me away—the openness and commitment.” In turn, Styles loved Wilde’s directorial debut, Booksmart, and is “very honored” that she cast him in a leading role for her second feature, a thriller titled Don’t Worry Darling, which went into production this fall. Styles will play the husband to Florence Pugh in what Styles describes as “a 1950s utopia in the California desert.”
Wilde’s movie is costumed by Academy Award nominee Arianne Phillips. “She and I did a little victory dance when we heard that we officially had Harry in the film,” notes Wilde, “because we knew that he has a real appreciation for fashion and style. And this movie is incredibly stylistic. It’s very heightened and opulent, and I’m really grateful that he is so enthusiastic about that element of the process—some actors just don’t care.”
“I like playing dress-up in general,” Styles concurs, in a masterpiece of understatement: This is the man, after all, who cohosted the Met’s 2019 “Notes on Camp” gala attired in a nipple-freeing black organza blouse with a lace jabot, and pants so high-waisted that they cupped his pectorals. The ensemble, accessorized with the pearl-drop earring of a dandified Elizabethan courtier, was created for Styles by Gucci’s Alessandro Michele, whom he befriended in 2014. Styles, who has subsequently personified the brand as the face of the Gucci fragrance, finds Michele “fearless with his work and his imagination. It’s really inspiring to be around someone who works like that.”
The two first met in London over a cappuccino. “It was just a kind of PR appointment,” says Michele, “but something magical happened, and Harry is now a friend. He has the aura of an English rock-and-roll star—like a young Greek god with the attitude of James Dean and a little bit of Mick Jagger—but no one is sweeter. He is the image of a new era, of the way that a man can look.”
Styles credits his style transformation—from Jack Wills tracksuit-clad boy-band heartthrob to nonpareil fashionisto—to his meeting the droll young stylist Harry Lambert seven years ago. They hit it off at once and have conspired ever since, enjoying a playfully campy rapport and calling each other Sue and Susan as they parse the niceties of the scarlet lace Gucci man-bra that Michele has made for Vogue’s shoot, for instance, or a pair of Bode pants hand-painted with biographical images (Styles sent Emily Adams Bode images of his family, and a photograph he had found of David Hockney and Joni Mitchell. “The idea of those two being friends, to me, was really beautiful,” Styles explains).
“He just has fun with clothing, and that’s kind of where I’ve got it from,” says Styles of Lambert. “He doesn’t take it too seriously, which means I don’t take it too seriously.” The process has been evolutionary. At his first meeting with Lambert, the stylist proposed “a pair of flares, and I was like, ‘Flares? That’s fucking crazy,’ ” Styles remembers. Now he declares that “you can never be overdressed. There’s no such thing. The people that I looked up to in music—Prince and David Bowie and Elvis and Freddie Mercury and Elton John—they’re such showmen. As a kid it was completely mind-blowing. Now I’ll put on something that feels really flamboyant, and I don’t feel crazy wearing it. I think if you get something that you feel amazing in, it’s like a superhero outfit. Clothes are there to have fun with and experiment with and play with. What’s really exciting is that all of these lines are just kind of crumbling away. When you take away ‘There’s clothes for men and there’s clothes for women,’ once you remove any barriers, obviously you open up the arena in which you can play. I’ll go in shops sometimes, and I just find myself looking at the women’s clothes thinking they’re amazing. It’s like anything—anytime you’re putting barriers up in your own life, you’re just limiting yourself. There’s so much joy to be had in playing with clothes. I’ve never really thought too much about what it means—it just becomes this extended part of creating something.”
“He’s up for it,” confirms Lambert, who earlier this year, for instance, found a JW Anderson cardigan with the look of a Rubik’s Cube (“on sale at matches.com!”). Styles wore it, accessorized with his own pearl necklace, for a Today rehearsal in February and it went viral: His fans were soon knitting their own versions and posting the results on TikTok. Jonathan Anderson declared himself “so impressed and incredibly humbled by this trend” that he nimbly made the pattern available (complete with a YouTube tutorial) so that Styles’s fans could copy it for free. Meanwhile, London’s storied Victoria & Albert Museum has requested Styles’s original: an emblematic document of how people got creative during the COVID era. “It’s going to be in their permanent collection,” says Lambert exultantly. “Is that not sick? Is that not the most epic thing?”
“To me, he’s very modern,” says Wilde of Styles, “and I hope that this brand of confidence as a male that Harry has—truly devoid of any traces of toxic masculinity—is indicative of his generation and therefore the future of the world. I think he is in many ways championing that, spearheading that. It’s pretty powerful and kind of extraordinary to see someone in his position redefining what it can mean to be a man with confidence.”
“He’s really in touch with his feminine side because it’s something natural,” notes Michele. “And he’s a big inspiration to a younger generation—about how you can be in a totally free playground when you feel comfortable. I think that he’s a revolutionary.”
STYLES’S confidence is on full display the day after the fitting, which finds us all on the beautiful Sussex dales. Over the summit of the hill, with its trees blown horizontal by the fierce winds, lies the English Channel. Even though it’s a two-hour drive from London, the fresh-faced Styles, who went to bed at 9 p.m., has arrived on set early: He is famously early for everything. The team is installed in a traditional flint-stone barn. The giant doors have been replaced by glass and frame a bucolic view of distant grazing sheep. “Look at that field!” says Styles. “How lucky are we? This is our office! Smell the roses!” Lambert starts to sing “Kumbaya, my Lord.”
Hairdresser Malcolm Edwards is setting Styles’s hair in a Victory roll with silver clips, and until it is combed out he resembles Kathryn Grayson with stubble. His fingers are freighted with rings, and “he has a new army of mini purses,” says Lambert, gesturing to an accessory table heaving with examples including a mini sky-blue Gucci Diana bag discreetly monogrammed HS. Michele has also made Styles a dress for the shoot that Tissot might have liked to paint—acres of ice-blue ruffles, black Valenciennes lace, and suivez-moi, jeune homme ribbons. Erelong, Styles is gamely racing up a hill in it, dodging sheep scat, thistles, and shards of chalk, and striking a pose for Mitchell that manages to make ruffles a compelling new masculine proposition, just as Mr. Fish’s frothy white cotton dress—equal parts Romantic poet and Greek presidential guard—did for Mick Jagger when he wore it for The Rolling Stones’ free performance in Hyde Park in 1969, or as the suburban-mom floral housedress did for Kurt Cobain as he defined the iconoclastic grunge aesthetic. Styles is mischievously singing ABBA’s “Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight)” to himself when Mitchell calls him outside to jump up and down on a trampoline in a Comme des Garçons buttoned wool kilt. “How did it look?” asks his sister when he comes in from the cold. “Divine,” says her brother in playful Lambert-speak.
As the wide sky is washed in pink, orange, and gray, like a Turner sunset, and Mitchell calls it a successful day, Styles is playing “Cherry” from Fine Line on his Fender acoustic on the hilltop. “He does his own stunts,” says his sister, laughing. The impromptu set is greeted with applause. “Thank you, Antwerp!” says Styles playfully, bowing to the crowd. “Thank you, fashion!”
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