#their son is vegetarian rip

[shoku-and-awe]

Do you have a personal ranking of the different convenience stores in Japan? The ones off the top of my head I can think of are 7-11, Lawson, Family Mart, Daily Yamazaki, and Ministop.

This is a great ask, very much my field of interest! But I don't rank them hierarchically so much as.... territorially(? situationally?) because they have different strengths but here it is!

------------------------------ 7-11: The conbini I'm most attached to! Generally has the best bento selection, and also the best-smelling coffee. (All the grind-and-brew coffee machines are basically the same quality, but the 7-11 ones really smell great.)

FamiMa: The best fried chicken! And generally a good chuhi selection. Also has far and away the most iconic jingle, and now I get this absolute bop by Miyachi stuck in my head every time I visit.

Lawson: Best for its special stores! Discount store Lawson 100 was a godsend for groceries and household supplies my first year in Tokyo. And I will stop basically anytime I see a Natural Lawson (aka Natty Law aka Naughty Lad) because they have organic/imported/upscale/health/vegetarian stuff you won't find elsewhere.

Ministop: Great for softserve ice cream and also hotcase and deli items! The deli items feel more homemade than at the Big Three. Also they have halohalo and sticky rice dumplings that I always mean to try.

Daily Yamazaki: Kind of a wild card! These days they have interesting variety and grocery items (the other day I got these kimchis and a liter of unbelievably sweet organic soymilk that was in a plastic bag for some reason), fresh breads/pastries and Japanese sweets, and snacks that aren't major brands. But! Until recently, they were kind of..... hmm. Of the two near me, one was staffed by a very old woman on an oxygen machine who completely ignored you (both things *very* unusual for Tokyo) and one by the absolute tiniest old woman I'd ever seen and a very smiley man who was either her elderly son or somewhat younger husband, both utter sweethearts. The stores were dingy and poorly lit, and the selection was somewhere between basics and bare bones—but also some nights they would sell fresh cream puffs from a French bakery?? Chaotic, kind of a grab bag, some Building 19 vibes (IYKYK). Then in maybe 2018ish, there was a major overhaul and now they are as shiny, well-lit, and antiseptically clean any other chain. If a little less friendly.

New Days: I added this one! Easy to overlook because they're teeny, with a very basic selection, but that's because they're only found inside of JR train stations. I don't think that they're anyone's conbini of choice, but they're there when you need them! (Sometimes.) ------------------------------

Also honorable mentions to Poplar, which I never see anymore (East Tokyo only?), and to Three-F, which seems to have been bought by Lawson, and 🫡 RIP to Sunkus (run by Circle K), which I always liked. When I lived near the red light district, we always used to stop at Tokyo's last surviving Sunkus on our way to see the pharmacy with the goat.

[beautifulpersonpeach]

I know you always struggle to write about Suga Bpp but I'd really appreciate a review from you for D-day.

Sincerely, a follower who loves the space you make here.

Thank you for focusing on the music in the middle of the madness. I struggle with this a lot, but your posts always help.

Pls review D-day in any way you like or in that way you always do.

***

I'm losing my mind.

This album has put me in a high that hasn't come down since release. Overall, I rate the album a 9/10. I won't really get into the lyrics (Yoongi never minces words), but will tell you why exactly I think Yoongi is insane.

(Tsk... a problem)

We should all thank Yoongi. If I had his address I'd send him flowers and my nudes (me sitting pretty in a bucket of tangerines), for the blessing, the honour, the gift of J-hope Jay spitting the coldest bars of his entire career on HUH?!

His delivery??

Jesus.

Jung Hoseok, the man you fucking are.

There's no Korean rapper in the history of rap who has spit sicker bars, delivered so cold it feels like he just ripped eyeballs clean out their sockets.

(Son couilles est lourde)

HUH?! is the best song on the album

See, up until now, BTS had never done drill. And a part of me was always grateful because even on harmless boom bap beats, they been cutting niggas left and right. But Yoongi went there. On D-DAY, he went there. And Lord is it a revelation. Nobody should be surprised that D-DAY is now the highest selling rap album, in history. Yoongi is the first rapper to sell a million albums in a day in history. Not k-rap, not in Asia, but globally in the history of the genre - that was done by Min Yoongi with Jung Hoseok whipping up guts served cold on a platter.

If you're vegetarian or vegan I'm so sorry but this album is not for you. Because this album, HUH?! in particular, is an exhibit of cadavers split open and Hobi's delivery is of a man who didn't even bother washing his hands after doing what needed to be done. A man who doesn't feel a speck of remorse for the corpses left in his wake. Hobi's flow on HUH?! is psychotic. And think about what it means to have Hobi on a song like this to begin with. Yoongi said he hadn't done the genre before, and he trusted Hobi - who initially learned from Namgi but very quickly developed his own flavour and skills enough to earn the respect of his idol - Yoongi trusted his brother on that track and that alone nearly brings me to tears.

Then Yoongi follows it with Amygdala and I start actually crying.

(This was me on my third listen.)

Amygdala is the standout song on this album

The transition from drill rap to soothing acoustic trap is so beautiful, it alters your mind. It's so seamless. Everything about Amygdala cements Yoongi's genius as a force to be reckoned with among the greats.

(I love them)

When Yoongi showed Jimin this song in SOOP around the time he made it, he said he went through wild mood swings making it. And you hear it in his voice. When he screams so wildly he uses autotune to distort it, almost temper it, for our sakes and to drive home the point. The point being his pain, how overwhelming it was, how he decided to intentionally pull those memories out to process them. And he lets us hear the result. He lets us see the compassion he shows himself in that song.

Y'all...

*

Snooze

Yoongi's writing is the reason I fell in love with him. Just by the way. An Anon asked me this question almost 11 months ago now and I never responded, but Anon if you're reading this now, this is the answer to your ask. Yoongi's writing is what I think cemented him as my bias.

Have you heard/read the lyrics for Snooze yet? I cried when I first heard them. To think Yoongi made this for his brothers, for his juniors, for his fans, for anyone whoever hears it, for himself... that brought me to tears.

Repurposing the lyrics from So Far Away...

(I've been a mess since Friday)

With the context of the tragedy of the last week, I can't help but weep. I really hope these artists get the support they need, I hope the wider k-pop fandom quickly recognizes what is actually at stake here, and I hope you remember to always take care of yourself.

*

Woosung's voice on this track is perfection.

When it comes to vocalists, Yoongi has a type. It's my type as well, vocalists with a voice made for haunting rock anthems. The best examples being Jimin, Taka from ONE OK ROCK, Tyler from Twenty One Pilots, Adora, and now we can add Woosung from The Rose to the list.

The thing that gets me with BTS, is they could drop the pantie dropper album of the century and they'd still have substance to them. You don't get Ryuichi Sakamoto on your album, in his final years no less, if you haven't got a decent bit of substance to you.

Snooze is yet another song on the album that reminds us of the evolution of Agust D. It reminds us of why we're at this point, where we are in the timeline of his growth. It reminds us of why we should join him on the other side.

He doesn't let us languish too long in the feeling though, before moving to SDL - that groovy, sexy number that surprises me with how much I like it every time it comes up in my playlist.

[ I'm starting to ramble so I'll just say Adora on SDL makes me think they should get together.

The track is so good and Adora undeniably is the magic ingredient. And if we're being honest, Adora is his best female feature/adliber. We all know it. I'm just selfish and shameless enough to voice the desire we all have that they should always make music together. ]

*

Haegeum is where he repeats the pattern but we never learn if he's broken the cycle

I'll try to be ultra brief here.

Agust D is born of the anger, hatred, and pain Yoongi feels when looking at the world and at himself. He expresses his struggle with self-loathing, insecurity and greed in Agust D. Haegeum, meaning both to lift a ban, to say what had been suppressed, and a traditional Korean instrument he loves - Haegeum is the resolution before he reaches the acceptance he shows in People Pt 2. We hear Yoongi brutally criticize himself and his society while dissecting the system to get down to the root of what really ails us. K-pop stans have predictably made a ruckus about his lyrics referring to capital. And their criticisms yet again show why few people take k-pop and its fans seriously. Because exactly none, zero, zilch, not a single one of their criticisms are rational once the whole verse is viewed in full.

*

Haegeum is very much a read of himself as it is of anyone else. He confronts the shadow of him that represents those vices, and kills him. But just as it was in Daechwita, we don't know if that shadow will remain dead. Although in Haegeum it's clear Yoongi has grown and whatever shadow that remains is closer to Suga in likeness than Agust D, we don't know if the cycle is permanently broken. And that is how it is for all of us. We have to continue to evolve, to confront more complex versions of our shadows, each time better reconciling who we are to who we want to be, perfecting our characters.

Haegeum is a visual feast, somehow more vivid than Daechwita which is really saying something. It reminds me of Hong Kong neo noir films. It's cool Yoongi wrote the storyboard for the MV himself.

And as I've said before, Yoongi is messy killer. When I said this about him last year I got some of his akgaes in my inbox saying I should stop smearing the man. Lol. If you had any doubt before, after Haegeum it should be crystal clear.

He could murder you with chopsticks and look good doing it. Honestly, only Yoongi can tear down capitalism as well as Karl Marx does, looking 1,000x better.

*

*

In D-Day, SUGA gracefully ends the trilogy of Agust D. Yoongi has told this story of his wrestle with his greed, his anger and hatred, over the last 7 years, and his honesty and graciousness in how he concludes it in D-Day deserves a standing ovation.

I strongly encourage everyone to read Yoongi's Thanks To on the album. I'll post an English translation from Twitter below:

Credit: @/btsbaragi_jk

His sense of humour is one of my favourite things about him.

*

Yoongi has created a masterpiece. He worked so hard and it shows. His vocals on the album alone have elevated D-DAY to one of the best releases this decade. You can hear how much he has grown as an artist to the point I dare say he no longer has any obvious weaknesses. The impeccable production on D-DAY is a given. And to think he finished most of the album in 2020, but chose to wait for the rest of the guys to find their feet, for them all to decide on the timing for Chapter 2, to think he waited that long... sometimes, I wonder if people have a true understanding of the kind of group BTS is. Of the personal sacrifices each of the members in BTS have had to make.

When I see asks about this or that mistreatment complaint for this or that member, sometimes it pisses me off. Cause yeah, it sucks that Jungkook has to (possibly) serve now despite having 5 years more and being at his prime; I too hate that Jimin's sales were explicitly targeted, deleted without precedent, explanation, or accountability; I cannot for the life of me explain what the fuck happened with Jack in the Box's album roll-out, packaging, shipping, etc. But like, every member is making these decisions with their eyes wide open and taking these hits in stride with a team/company they say they trust. If Jimin trusts Bang PD with his career, on what basis could I begin to disagree with him?

Anyway I digress. D-Day is a gift. Pray you survive the live versions lol. And oh, about Yoongi (and the rest of BTS) being insane as I said initially, just listen to HUH?! again.

[princelylove]

Narancia whines when he can’t be by your side. He’s your guy- your man! It totally blows to have to go on jobs where he can’t see you, but he’s held to a certain standard in passione. He can’t slack just because there’s a bombshell in his life- whether you’d agree that you’re actually in his life or not is debatable. To you, he’s just some kid that keeps showing up on your shifts at Libeccio. 

And God you hate that job. There isn’t a moment of peace in there. There’s this group of men- You might have noted that some are actually late teenagers, young adults max- that practically rent the place out, tourists pile in all throughout the summer and don’t treat you like a person, sometimes people come in who don’t even speak italian- it just sucks. What’s worse is you’re actually waiting tables today instead of hiding in the kitchen. Your boss insisted- Bucciarati’s “sons” are here, whoever that is, so you have to put on that pretty smile of yours and go humor god knows who.

When you go over to take that table’s order, you can feel the migraine coming on. The guy with the- GUN? Ohh, you’re absolutely never getting used to the mafiosi that live around here. The guy with the hat is asking those “what if” questions again. Part of you wants to correct him, vegetarians can use leather, they just don’t eat meat, you can get protein from soy, there’s also different types of shoes than leather, but you don’t really have the time. You just take orders, give it to the kitchen, hover over your tables a bit, and leave. It looks like blondie’s ripping into him today, but the other one’s quiet. Weird. He’s normally such a talker. 

Whatever. You come over and do your normal song and dance. The blond guy, Panna, you’d wager, does most of the talking and ordering normally, but it looks like the little one wants to talk to you today- and over him.

“What’s your name?” He practically trips over himself to ask. Pannacotta makes the most disgusted face you’ve ever seen. 

“Narancia, you did fucking not just interrupt me to pry. I am so sorry. He’s a bit behind, please ignore him.” You can’t see under the table, but you should know Narancia’s getting stepped on under there. 

You just tap the little nametag on your apron in response. You’re used to humoring nosy customers, and the name on your tag isn’t even yours. You repeat your question, tapping your little memo pad with your pen.

“Oh, uh. The usual. So anyway, my name is Narancia. It’s nice to meet you. You’re really pretty.” 

You’re not really sure how to take that, considering this is absolutely not the first time you've met. Blondie just smacked Narancia on the back of his head, and is profusely apologizing on Narancia’s behalf. Should you be insulted? Should you be flattered? He’s been eyeing you since he walked in, but you figured he just has a staring problem or something. 

You suck it up and stop yourself from expressing how much you don’t want to hear that from a customer. After you get what you need, you excuse yourself and remind them to call for you if they need something. Or someone else. Preferably someone else, you little weirdo…

Narancia is in such a good mood after that. You actually spoke to him! He’s practically beaming, and the table is relatively quiet for the rest of their stay, minus the chiding. When you come to give them the receipt that they get to take home, he’s all jittery. He takes it right out of your hand despite Mr Tiger Pants paying. 

And when he gets home, he pins it on his little corkboard of all the receipts you’ve ever given him. In front of it lives a pen you used to use when you first got this job, in a cup you gave him, and a couple of your hairs he found on the floor near the kitchen door. He’s assuming it’s your hair, anyway… 

[nervousladytraveler]

Tagged by: @jomiddlemarch who continues to be a tumblr/fanfic hero .

Last song: “Pair of Brown Eyes” by the Pogues. We listen to the Pogues every year at Thanksgiving so it has less to do with Shane MacGowna’s recent death and more to do with our little tradition. Still. RIP, Shane.

Favorite color: Charcoal grey. I have two black dogs and am about to inherit a white one. It's just practical to match.

Last movie/TV Show: Over Thanksgiving I bingewatched all 4 seasons of “Killing Eve”. Now I don't want to watch anything else. 

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: Savory and spicy, please.

Relationship Status: Married, 26 ½ years.

Last Thing I Googled: "Which herb goes best with bacon?" For a fanfic. I wouldn't know, I'm a vegetarian. But the answer is sage.

Current Obsession: Moving my father in law out of his house into assisted living, preparing to foster/adopt a third dog, making sure I take the time to enjoy my teenage sons’ enthusiasm for holiday traditions (one is planning on making a giant cinnamon bun, the other is sketching out his design for 17th c castle design of gingerbread).

Tagging whoever would like to play. Please do!

[pridepages]

Damage Control: Boyfriend Material

I just finished Alexis Hall’s Boyfriend Material, and I have some thoughts...

Here there be spoilers!

I avoided Alexis Hall’s London Calling series for a while because, frankly, one look at that cover screamed ‘cheesy rom com,’ and I didn’t feel like I needed yet another mlm romcom in my life. With appropriate cringing apology, I must confess that I fell into the trap: you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover!

Don’t get me wrong, Boyfriend Material is every bit the frothy rom com romp rife with all the delicious tropes: enemies-to-lovers, secret pining, straight-laced perfectionist falls for chaotic one, will they/won’t they, snappy banter, and of course the Happily Ever After...or, as Hall puts it, Happily For Now.

But even with all that being true, I could not stop marking quotes in this book that hit home. Because within the framework of fun, there are some very relatable struggles in this remarkably character-driven plot.

Let’s catch you up: our story is told from the point of view of Lucien “Luc” O’Donnell. Luc is the son of two ‘80s celebrity singers. His father, the more well known of the pair, abandoned Luc and his mother when Luc was a child. Luc was raised by his hilarious single mother, who he adores, and became a fully functional adult with a steady boyfriend, a job in PR, and a promising future...until said boyfriend sold Luc’s secrets to the press and sent Luc on a five-year spiral. Now, Luc finds himself the butt of jokes in tabloids, in a dead-end job, and ridden by anxiety that no matter what he does his secret and most intimate heart will always be at risk of being exposed and ridiculed. He trusts no one, least of all himself. The problem is, Luc now is in need of a steady boyfriend to counteract this damaged party boy persona.

Enter Oliver Blackwood: the golden boy barrister (that’s trial attorney for my fellow Americans) who practices criminal defense, comes from pedigree, eats vegetarian for ethical reasons, and has cultivated a straight-passing persona that Luc is sure will give him the legitimacy he needs. 

The problem? They annoy each other. The good news? They both have reasons to need someone on their arm...so they agree to enter a fake relationship.

Who needs the details? We can all see the end coming: boy gets to know boy, boys discover that each is not only not so bad, but actually quite good, boys agree they need each other in their lives and fall passionately in love.

Here’s where it gets interesting:

Luc’s problem is that he cannot bear to be seen as he is for fear that his most vulnerable parts, once exposed, will be ripped to shreds. “I'm lonely because I'm a wreck and nobody wants me.” Luc muses as he’s “perilously close to liking someone. And look where that had got me.” He’s terrified of letting someone in for fear that they will disappoint him. 

What he at first doesn’t realize about Oliver is that Oliver is equally terrified. Oliver’s Perfect Persona is a fiction. “There comes a point when enough people have said 'It's not you, it's me' that you begin to suspect it may, in fact, be you,” Oliver confides. Because Oliver’s problem is that he’s terrified of letting someone in for fear that HE will disappoint THEM. 

Each of these boys lives in terror of the pain of intimacy. They have internalized that pain into self-loathing and desperate loneliness. One of them rejects before he can be rejected. The other tries desperately to reform himself into what he thinks will please the world. But both of them ache for genuine connection. And, in each other, they find it.

There is something so powerful about queer love and queer connection as written by queer people. Consider the following passage where Luc and Oliver are intimate:

“He was gazing at me with this terrible earnestness, meaning every word. And, y'know, it was fine, I could cope with this, I could have feelings, it was fine. Never mind that there was this sense of nakedness settling over me, strangely independent of the fact that I was actually naked. And never mind that every time he touched me it was like he was unmaking me with tenderness. And definitely never mind that I needed this so badly I wasn't sure how to have it.”

There is something absolutely universal to the gay experience in “I needed this so badly and I wasn’t sure how to have it.” I think we’ve all felt that in our own way. Maybe because we’ve been hurt before. Maybe because our world told us consistently that we were wrong or disgusting. Maybe because there was no roadmap for our relationships that we both wanted and didn’t want to look like the Straight ones we saw endlessly paraded in media. Maybe because our desires confuse us. Maybe because we’re still figuring out what love means to us.

Whatever the root cause, the queer experience is one that is both unique and universal: we all have felt like that offbeat, flailing person reaching out in the dark for a hand to hold, hoping we’ll catch on to one.

Alexis Hall may have set out to write a bright and breezy love story, and in many ways Boyfriend Material delivers just that. But I think the truth of the novel is captured on the bittersweet note it ends on:

“I’m coming to the conclusion I might be unbelievably terrified.” Says Oliver. “Me too,” Luc replies, “But let’s be terrified together.”

The novel doesn’t leave our heroes convinced of their future. They don’t know that they’re Made For Each Other. They have no idea where this road will lead them. But we leave them deciding that taking a chance on faith in themselves and in each other is worth the risk. 

It’s so easy to let our past make us believe that we are damaged beyond repair. The truth is rather more complicated. We can let the trauma of our pasts define us. We can also decide that we are not broken because people can’t be broken: they can only be formed. In a world full of people that tell us we’re made wrong, we’ll only survive if we choose to take a chance on the ones who make us feel like we’ve been shaped just right.

[eviltiddyproductions]

Alchemy of Souls, Part 1, Episode 1

[I’ve written this so sincerely LMAO I have an exam to study for 😭✋]

ahahah we literally start with the subtitles saying ‘ominous music playing’

nooo that growling thing behind the door actually scared the fuck out of me WOAH

what in the marvel just happen??? like where did this superhero man come from and also what are these cuts 😂😭 whiplash !!!

Monster person fight back ???! 

ummm did this mom bring those 2 food to offer them AS FOOD to her demon son? what’s going on 🤨

the son’s dementor era omg he just took his mom’s soul?! 😭 he said:

rip to the dementor son but also the way his body sort of fell into the ocean, it looked smaller and smaller and looked like a little toy 😭

this place is so gloomy woah

hmmm maybe it’s time for me to google what alchemy actually means, ahh got it

if my king asked me to switch bodies i’d say give me a day and never come back. the mage is clearly better than me

you could screenshot so much of this show and make it your wallpaper

so I guess the baby gets the mage’s genes 🧬

the king looked a little too old for this bride woah. everyday we thank we are not in the Middle Ages 🙏

why is my man dying already ?!? also the king looks so bothered ‘why are you bothering me with your yelling I’m trying to have sex? 🤨’

I have no idea what happened because they dropped a title card and Netflix didn’t bother to translate

MAGIC ELEMENTAL FIGHTING I REPEAT MAGIC ELEMENTAL FIGHTING. I love this 😭‼️‼️‼️

SISTER NO! my girl got hit

people were not helpful at all lmaooo Naksu dragged an unsuspecting girl and everyone was like

I have no idea what this show is about or what it’s doing but I already love it so much. Like them training to shape water or I guess make water move as they want to. I love these things !!!

Whoever they’re yelling at has earrings and blonde hair and is adorable! I love it 😂 I guess we’re not being period specific after all (to be fair they’re doing spells and soul shifting, they can have blonde hair)

Oh the old man has blush !!!

how did she shift into the girl she pushed lol I thought she was playing I guess she might be blind? oh she’s not.

they were going to sell this girl ?!?! <///3 history is always cruel to women 😭

wait are we not going to see more of warrior Naksu? I miss that girl.

But also she’s so hilarious here 💀💀💀

Naksu was vegetarian ??? sometimes we win

The lady talking to her is so cute 😭🫶

I’m not even writing anything meaningful here lmao just jotting down anything like if I look back at this I’ll be so confused.

Four Seasons, beautiful beautiful women, unfortunate name

also I thought they were going to say the blondie earring man was going to be cool as the water. he’s hot like summer 😭

I love all of them woah.

My girl means revenge and I am on her side !!!

not sure about later but lady is such a sweetheart

he recognised her in someone else’s body so fast ??? like he saw her put a crab leg to his neck and was like Naksu 😭? he’s so #real

it’s been 30 minutes and I am already being looped into a love triangle 😭 but he’s cute so why not

that’s why she kept the bird whistle !!! the younger version of the guy kinda (KINDA gave haechan from NCT)

I found the crab leg guy cuter though but that also might be due to the heavy tumblr gif bias

‘menacing music playing’ I love the subtitles here 😂😂😂

I trained her to be the ultimate assassin. Oh it’s giving the garden from Spy Family. Naksu x Yor Agenda (or me just babbling anything, ignore me)

I love how seriously she inspects everything. It’s giving me Mr Queen when Bonghwan travelled and was like 🤨🤨🤨 at everything. But I also love how everytime she tries something in this new body she fails 😭💖

My dumbass just always assumes Kdrama actors are older why is our lead only 24??? woah (takes a little break for an existential crisis to process this information) he reminds me of Dew from F4 a lil.

Now I know where I saw her childhood bird whistle crush!!! I just saw his thumbnail for Hybe lol I think he might be releasing a song.

The lead actress is 33 ??? And that’s on good genes woah! she’s so cute 😭 the way I’m just saying anything like cut to the next episode and who knows Naksu would start shape shifting.

LMAO her going ‘what is wrong with this guy is he not in love with me’ as soon as he starts messing with her. 💀

Oh he’s making her work WORK Alexa play 9-5 by Dolly Parton 😭

I adore her because she’s changed her ‘when I get my energy I will kill this person first’ like 3 times already

he’s got a nice voice, I register, as I see him getting sucked in a bathtub whirlpool

I forget how bad it used to be for the pre photography people like at most you’ve got a painting of your loved one. AT MOST. a painting on something as fragile and flimsy as a paper.

the child actor looks nothing like our lead oh no 😭😭😭

I thought he was going to think about his mom but I guess he’s still thinking about unlocking the spell

my girl is just searching in the loudest way possible LMAO

Hiding under the bed 😭😭😭 she’s so #number1assasinbutatwhatcost

girl we all knew he was awake

awww she decided to be here on the worst day. everyone is so loud and everyone is awake. they’ll be on guard now 😩

now what did they set fire too?!

oh that’s her teacher!!!

now how did he get in without his amulet but also I knew he’d save her by pulling her away. just felt it in my bones 🦴

also thought that the guy who was chasing her would just jump from one of the roofs of the houses

[theovergrowth]

Restart.

It was humid. He hadn’t gotten used to Missouri’s summer climate, but that didn’t really matter now; fall had started, and they wouldn’t be here long.

Titus (just Titus, for now) sat up in the dim bedroom he had lived in over the last few months. It was mostly empty now, everything aside from a backpack of essentials already loaded into the van from the day before.

He grabbed his watch, the one Drew quite literally demanded he own, off of his mattress. 6:12 am. Nobody else would be awake yet, but that wasn’t too unusual. If anything, it was preferable.

Quietly, an old instinct, he crept down the hall to the bathroom. He took a hot shower, put on some clean clothes, and took a moment as he was brushing his teeth to really look at himself in the mirror.

His hair was mostly gone, now a grown-out buzzcut that still sprouted small flowers. His face had filled out more, his complexion had a healthier glow, but most alien of all to him: he no longer had those same dark circles under his eyes. Yes, they hadn’t disappeared entirely, but he felt more… rested?

After spitting out his toothpaste and shoving the toothbrush into his backpack, he went out to the kitchenette and started on breakfast. Everyone would need to eat well today; the four of them were headed out on a “paranormal expedition”, as Pete and Drew had taken to calling it, west towards California, then up the 101 towards Oregon, stopping often along the way with Titus driving his van, Ricky driving his car, and Pete and Drew riding with Ricky.

Titus had been the first one to suggest he could ride alone for the first stretch to Oklahoma, saying he was less likely to need to switch off with someone while driving.

It was true, but really he was just terrified. Things had been good here; he was comfortable, he felt in control of himself, he had a group of friends that he… really cared about, and really didn’t want to see get hurt.

But… he also knew he had to trust them. He had to trust they would take care of themselves with the knowledge they had. Titus had already done all he should; actually trying to open up and tell them his side of a story they already knew, giving them all the information he had about The Sons, The Overgrowth, his father… all of it.

And they all took it in stride, telling him it didn’t change how they felt. If anything, they all seemed even more adamant about sticking together, Drew practically ripping his head off when he floated the idea of just splitting up for safety. “Splitting up is the opposite of safe,” he had chastised, forcing Titus to sit through a night-long horror movie marathon to prove the point. Titus hadn’t minded; he enjoyed falling asleep on the couch with his friend’s laughter as white noise.

Still, he was terrified. He swallowed it as he heard the distant sounds of each of his friends alarms going off, instead focusing on plating breakfast. Blueberry pancakes, biscuits and gravy, vegetarian sausage and bacon, and 4 mason jars of overnight oats he had prepped for each of them a couple of days ago.

They all ate quickly (though Titus noted they were a bit skeptical towards their jars), chattering about their plans with the pleasant side-tangent of Pete’s dream the previous night, which she claimed was a “mega-good omen” for their journey.

He hoped she was right.

[kinopioa]

When fans talk about Wordgirl villains, most either talk about Dr. Two Brains, or Tobey

But of the OGs, I feel the Butcher is underrated

Literally the first villain fought in the pilot, along with being voiced by one of the head writers, his main schtick is magical meat based attacks to hurl at Wordgirl or Huggy. He addo has a halibut of butchering the English language (heh)

Although crude and simple, and lacking a backstory as sad as Two Brains, he actually has a lot of depth over the series

First, next to Chuck, he probably listens the most to Wordgirl, being able to be casual at times, deflate fights if needed, even vent personal problems

This is especially seen in S8 ep 7B, where he was able to remediate Wordgirl and Scoop's friendship during a feud. Though his own impatience and sensitivity means he can be triggered into fighting (in fact, that very ep he's robbing a barber cuz his 1 hair strand on the top of his head was fussed)

This impatience and hair trigger sensitivity potentially is due to paternal issues, implied on the introduction of his father Kid Potato

Voiced by Ed Asner (RIP), Kid Potato is...very judgemental of his son's work, emotionally manipulating him (in public) when he refuses to work together in his supervillain team. His wife also is likely dead, potentially being a source of his bitterness, outside never accomplishing his glory/dreams of being the best villain

The Butcher calls him out on it, but even he cracks to appease his dad every once in a while. Otherwise, likely to NOT be him, he at least makes an effort to listen to other people, be considerate (outside basic crime), even calling out gaslighting behavior at points

Just from the top of my head;

Calling out Reginald's hyper snooty rudeness (though mostly everyone does)

Noting how the Whammer was being extremely inconsiderate to his neighbors and the library

Calling out how Raul Demiglasse's show harassed other chefs if they fail

Calling out Two Brains for nepotism to him when he temped for his henchmen

Noting Ms. Power being mean

Sadly, he still has connections with his father, even going to him for advice during his midlife crisis later.

For his other attributes though, he had a pet cat he cared for until he was forced to transfer ownership due to being frequently arrested, is one of the few villains to have friends outside villainry, surprisingly is good at sculpting, and apparently does breakdancing sometimes

His personality flaws of course are low patience, short temper, bias (especially against tofu, literally one of his weaknesses), and potentially poor education, though admittedly most people in Fair City have the IQ of a goldfish

His source of meat powers ironically had an explanation. In S1s 4th ep "Jerky Jerk", there was an ancient ruler noted that had meat powers. Butcher is apparently a descendent (from his mothers side? Though there was another meat villain one ep).

A later season ep "The Meat Dimension" also directly notes the pocket space his meat comes from, something his father apparently wrote for him in his childhood

He even had a romantic fling with one of Lady Redundant Woman's copies, though unfortunately that romance halted when she admitted to being a vegetarian

Anyway, the Butcher's underrated

[parvamundi]

MEET... Dakota ‘Kody’ Schaeffer!

Age: 60 Gender/pronouns: cis man, he/him Hometown: Huntington Beach, California, USA Current Location: Bay Ridge, Brooklyn, New York, USA Occupation: former professional surfer turned florist and NA/AA sponsor

Currently a WIP, but some fast facts:

May be 60, but he’s fuckin ripped.

Skateboards every where whenever possible. Owns a longboard. Some habits die hard.

Has a little Boston Terrier mix who oddly resembles him that he named Cody. For fun. ( thank you, @dxsole! )

25-ish years sober from drugs and alcohol, 12 years solidly clean.

Has 34-year-old twins-- son and daughter. Was absent from their lives for a while, but has done his best to make up for that ( especially being more present for his daughter’s son ).

Still very much has that laid-back surfer vibe to him, to the point where it seems silly, given his age. Kody doesn’t give a fuck ‘bout that.

If he can, he’ll be shirtless, wearing compression socks pulled up as if they’re tube socks with his long shorts, and capped off with a trucker hat.

Has may tattoos he DOES NOT remember getting.

Self-proclaimed pacifist, but is genuinely a scrappy shit at heart and will knock a fucker around if it’s called for.

Wound up in NYC because he no longer could surf professionally due to his addiction and also needed to get tf away from the enablers.

Loosely a vegetarian. Flexitarian, maybe, I guess? If that’s really a term people use? ( my niece uses it and idfk, I’m not cool. )

Got heavily involved in NA & AA and is a sponsor.

Aaaaand that’s where is connection to this blog comes in. More on that soon!

[weiying-lanzhan-fics]

Lavender Blue by ana_cp

Wonderful!! Enjoyed the story immensely! LZ being unsure but then finally just going all in, is perfect! ❤️❤️

Quotes:

“For you,” Wei Ying offers him a single ranunculus stem.

Lan Zhan drops the cauliflower he’s holding. Wei Ying picks it up on reflex with his free hand, and sets it on the counter again.

“Ha. I picked up your bouquet.”

“What.” Lan Zhan’s voice falters. His bouquet?

“Your bouquet,” Wei Ying clears his throat. “Because cauliflowers are… flowers. Sorry, it was a bad joke. Here,” he offers him the ranunculus again.

“I can’t accept it.”

“Yes you can! It’s for helping. I know I can be dramatic, but you really did save the flowers. Even though we forced you. And even though I did everything alone.”

He winks. Lan Zhan barely sees it, because he can’t bring himself to look at his face.

“I’m-”

“It’s just a flower because I want to say sorry, and thank you,” Wei Ying says. “It’s no big deal, you can take it. It’s already way too open, so I won’t use it tomorrow anyway. Plus, it matches your general color scheme. White.”

————

“I just think it’s suspicious,” Wei Ying sits back, supporting his weight with his hand and dangling his legs over the edge of the counter. He has a lean built, and when he does that, his shirt stretches over his torso and arms. “You know, that you would be single.”

Lan Zhan feels the heat rising on his face.

“But let’s assume you’re telling the truth,” Wei Ying taps his fingers on his chin, as if in deep thought. “Privileged son. Late twenties. Single. Since you’re a vegetarian and you’re also, well, ripped… I’m gonna assume you’re a healthy person. Maybe you even get 8 hours of sleep every day?”

“Why are you doing this?” Lan Zhan asks.

“Well, you won’t tell me anything about yourself, and I need to know.”

“Why?”

Wei Ying jumps down from the counter and smiles at him. “Because. Know your enemy, or whatever Shakespeare said.”

“Shakespeare didn’t say that.”

“Oh? Who did?”

“Sun Tzu,” Lan Zhan says.

Wei Ying just smiles at him, nodding slowly. He’s close now, almost at arm’s reach, and Lan Zhan can see there’s a trace of smugness in his face, like he’s saying exactly what Wei Ying wants him to say. He feels like he just fell into a trap.

“Thank you, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying says, his voice suddenly getting much lower than before. “Now I know something else about you.”

“And what’s that?” Lan Zhan lowers his voice too, feeling the urge to match him at whatever game he’s playing.

“You’re a smart man,” Wei Ying sighs. “It’s gonna be hard to be your enemy.”

E, 51k

Summary:

Lan Zhan isn’t a curious man when it comes to other people's business, but if this person is gonna scream and ruin his quiet moment alone, he wants to see who it is.

He's almost turning back inside, tired of waiting, when the man in red raises his eyes and finds him.

For a second, he is frozen in place. The man catches him red handed, meeting his gaze head-on, and Lan Zhan feels his ears blushing despite his frustration. The man looks confused, and then intrigued. Lan Zhan thinks he will have no problem remembering him tomorrow. He has very… distinguishing features.

When the man’s face turns into a full grin, Lan Zhan turns around and goes back inside.

-

Lan Zhan meets an infuriating florist while he's working as the cook in a wedding. Wei Ying is loud, annoying and childish, and Lan Zhan can't wait for the time when this wedding is done so he never has to see him again. Surely, the world isn't so small that they would meet a second time.
Right?

(or, the Cook/Florist AU)

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Monthly Follower Recs

Monthly follower recommendations for the month of June, 2022

Amity (ao3) - thattumblrchick

Summary: For as long as he could remember, Dan Howell has had a personality more fragile than the flowers he pressed. After meeting Phil Lester- an explosion of a human being living in an explosion of a house- he learns that life should make you feel more than just complacency.  

21 thoughts I had today (ao3) - jestbee

Summary: Dan doesn't have a voice in his head.

It's just a malfunction, a lack of one thing or another in a complex series of firing synapses and chemicals, but it always sounds like words.

Believe in Me (ao3) - Elleberquist6

Summary: Dan Howell is living at home while he’s saving money for college, which isn’t easy since his parents don’t understand him. Unlike them, he loves dogs, is a vegetarian, has no interest in the family business, and he despises the supernatural. He struggles to accept things that are illogical, even though he is a kitsune. Kitsune are foxes whose powers involve the ability to cast illusions, but Dan just wants to be normal. Phil Lester has just moved to London, where he works as a dog walker. When his path crosses with Dan, Phil is eager to get to know him. Unfortunately, Phil soon finds that being friends with Dan is far more complicated than he could have imagined.

Bury Your Flame - botanistlester

Summary: (tw) After receiving a dragon egg when his grandfather passed away, Phil is forced to ask for help from the local dragon tamer. As he soon finds out, Dan Howell is nothing he’s been expecting. Infuriating, ludicrous, and completely lacking respect, Dan is everything Phil hates. But Phil will do anything to make his grandfather proud, even if that means getting help from the local cluck.

different eyes to see the same old things (ao3) - chickenfree

Summary: “Other side of the seesaw?” he says, when Phil’s still quiet. It doesn’t seem like a talking night, as much as Dan wants it to be.

Knew I'd Find You Again || ospbb 2022 anastasia au (ao3) - AnironSidh

Summary: In the twilight of the Russian Empire, the younger son of Czar Nigel Lestov finds an unlikely friend in a kitchen boy with a very different past. Philip Lestov has no idea what is to come, this future with his new friend stretching out as far as he can see, and Daniel Howlov gets a glimpse at a world so far from his own. Ten years later, the czar and his wife are dead and their older son is left to live with his grandmother in Paris; far from the new regime that wants the Lestovs dead. The young tsarevich Philip has gone missing while rumors fly of his survival. The dowager Empress has offered a reward, ten million rubles for her beloved grandsons return, a reward that does not go unnoticed by now conman Daniel Howlov and his close friend, former Duchess Cornelia. When they come across a man with no memories and a resemblance to the prince, the two hatch a plan. Followed closely by Kolya Petrov, an officer set on completing his fathers mission, and the mystic Rasputin, who wants nothing more than the death of the last Lestovs, they must journey to Paris with their fake prince. Instead of a reward, they find something much more unexpected waiting for them. Dan counted on a way out, not falling in love.

I Want It, I Got It (ao3) - Yiffandquiff (paradisobound)

Summary: Phil Lester was a worker for the BBC in London. Working in the advertising department, he was content being alongside his friend and fellow coworker PJ during every shift. However, the BBC is temporarily being used as a film set for a new movie starring Hollywood ‘It’ star, Daniel Howell. Being stuck as an extra on the set, Phil finds it’s hard to ignore the famous star. And maybe, just maybe, Dan finds it hard to ignore Phil as well.

one of those days (ao3) - nivi_chip

Summary: Phil has a dizzy spell and Dan takes care of him.

Or, Dan is the man with the plan (rip the stereo shows imy)

strike a deal, kiss my lips (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Witches were the only magical beings capable of binding and controlling demons. It required a complicated ritual and crazy amounts of magic.

It happening on accident was practically unheard of until Phil came along and got tangled up with a snarky and dangerous demon named Dan. Suddenly bound together, Phil must grapple with control over a chaotic demon that wants to strip the skin from his bones.

And maybe strip the clothes off of his body as well.

we could never (ao3) - danielshands

Summary: Dan navigates the world while also contemplating coming out.

[psychonauts-headcanons]

Do you have any wacky headcannons that you'd like to share? I feel kinda rude if I don't ask back!

*cracks knuckles* I’ll stick to the first game for this one

- Boyd and Edgar are psychics. (you learn Clairvoyance and Confusion in their minds respectively, and Boyd lights molotovs in the real world with out any obvious source of fuel)

- Related to the above, Edgar has some internalized anti-psychic views (you learn confusion from Dingo, who is canonically based off someone Edgar hates), while Boyd is accepting of his own abilities (knowing both clairvoyance and pyrokinesis, and Nils says only a master clairvoyant can teach it, so he’s at least practiced)

- Oleander is a vegetarian.

- The game takes place in the early 70s (I know that it’s been officially stated to take place in the 80s but you’ll rip this headcanon out of my cold dead hands)

- Technopathy is a thing in the psychonauts universe.

- I’m still a fan of the “Bobby is Loboto’s son” theory.

- Fred grew up rich. (fun IRL fact: House Bonaparte is still around, and IRL Napoleon didnt even have legitimate grandkids, so it’s totally possible)

- The people who ran Thorney Towers were, to put it bluntly, really fucking incompetent (including Houston Thorney, who was kind of the ableism version of a white savior, if that makes sense). Fred was probably one of the best orderlies there but that’s a really low bar to clear.

I have more but this is all I feel like sharing right now

[berriusagi]

Stomach Bug Ch2

Dinner Announcement

Should I be writing my geology essay? Yes. Am I going to write it right now? No. Am I instead going to write a new chapter to this fic? Absolutely. Thank you everyone who showed interest in this story it means a lot that people actually like this and to everyone asking to be tagged I’d take a bullet for you. You are all the best.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

The calm collected tone Bruce had during his call did well to hide the absolute madhouse that was Wayne Manor. While he was trying to subtly interrogate his youngest son over the phone his other three were playing the world's worst game of charades. Dick’s arms were flailing around as he made exaggerated motions trying to get a read on what Damian was saying through Bruce’s stony features. Jason was seemed to be working his eyebrows as much as humanly possible seeing if he could get even a hint of a reaction from Bruce. Tim, however, was just patiently waiting too tired to do any of the over the top actions of his brothers.

“Okay son, if you’re sure I’ll speak with Alfred.” Bruce nodded before hanging up and took a moment to compose himself before his sons launched into their own interrogation.

“What’s going on?” Dick asked, “Is little D okay?”

“What’s up with Demon Spawn I’ve never heard him have an emotion other than anger before,” Jason asked leaning forward.

“Why was he at Ivy and Harley’s?” Tim asked sipping his coffee.

“He didn’t say much.” Bruce sighed rubbing his eyes, “he told me he’ll be out for the rest of the day but that he’ll be here at dinner to explain what happened. He’s also bringing a few guests though he wouldn’t give any names.”

The three boys all shared looks before flying out of the room and scrambling through the halls towards the Batcave. Alfred stepping out of the way as they flew past him all shoving each other away or jumping over the other to try and be in the lead.

“They are quite lively this morning.” Alfred hummed walking over to Bruce with a raised eyebrow, “What did I miss?”

“Damian ran out during breakfast after a phone call and won’t be back until dinner he’s bringing three guests. He didn’t tell me more than that.” Bruce sighed leaning back in his seat, “How am I not grey yet Alfred?” he asked

“Must be favorable genetics as it can’t be from your tranquil life.” Alfred mused as he cleaned up the table and headed off to wash the dishes leaving Bruce alone to listen to the distant shouts of his sons fight their way into the Batcave.

~.~.~.~

“Angel, you need to eat something.” Damian said rubbing Marinette's back as she covered her nose turning away from the food set out in front of her, “I know it makes you nauseous but at least eat some toast.” he coaxed grabbing some dry toast and held it up to her.

“Eating is the last thing I want to do right now.” Marinette groaned still a little green from her last round of sickness.

“I know but the baby needs you to eat.” he soothed looking in her eyes, “you need to eat so the baby can be fed.”

Marinette groaned and pushed the plate stacked meats and eggs away from her and leaned back further to get away from the smell. Once her stomach seemed to settle she gingerly took the toast Damian kept insisting upon her eating and took small bites slowly working through it. Her stomach settled further the more she ate allowing her to relax a bit more and a healthier color to finally come to her face.

“Think she’ll be a vegetarian during this pregnancy,” Harley chuckled taking the plate away and deposited the food in the doggy bowls by the door for the two hyenas to come rip through later, “probably for the best for her to not have any meats though might really mess with her stomach.”

Ivy hummed looking through the pamphlets reading up on the different options, “Marigold we should set up an appointment with the OB-GYN Dr. Beau recommended. We should also grab some prenatal vitamins too since you’re not going to be getting enough nutrients from eating like a little bird.”

“I’ll go buy some,” Damian said standing quickly only to get shoved down in his seat a second later by Harley.

“Yeah no,” Harley said grabbing her brag, “That’s just what we need you on the front page, ‘ Wayne Heir spotted buying prenatal vitamins ’ this whole city would be in an uproar trying to figure out who you knocked up. You stay here and keep our little bug comfy we’ll go do the shopping.”

“You’re just going to leave your daughter alone with her boyfriend unsupervised?” Damian asked raising an eyebrow.

“What are ya goin to do? Knock her up?” Harley chuckled raising an eyebrow at the two blushing teens at the dining table. “You two talk, cuddle, be teens and red and I will do the shopping then later we’ll all go to Wayne Manor and act as buffers for marigold here so she doesn’t go catatonic.”

“Thank you,” Marinette mumbled looking up at the two women who so kindly took her into their home and wanted nothing more than for her to grow and be happy, “for everything I can’t thank you enough.” she sniffled scrubbing at her face.

Ivy and Harley both smiled and wrapped her up in another tight hug showering her in love and affection until her sniffles died down once more. The two women pulled back giving Mari kisses all over her face until she was giggling and pushing them away her face flushed with laughter instead of tears. Only once she was smiling brightly again did they finally pull away and leave the two teens alone.

“She’s going to be okay.” Harley smiled slinging her arm around Ivy’s shoulder, “our little marigold is gonna be just fine.” she sighed as they made their way out of the apartment building.

Marinette finished her dry toast sipping on some warm tea to soothe her throat from the torture it had gone through that morning with her stomach issues. Damian cleaned up the discarded dishes and helped Marinette up walking her over to the couch keeping a firm hold on her so she wouldn’t trip over the stray toys littering the floor. “Dami I can walk just fine.” she giggled softly as Damian helped her to sit.

“You’re pregnant I don’t want you to fall.” He said sitting down beside her, “I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.” 

“Walking around the apartment isn’t going to hurt me or the baby.” She sighed leaning on his side, “I might be a klutz but I’m not going to fall that easily. I was Ladybug for three years have some faith in me.” she mumbled closing her eyes all the stress and tension from the morning finally easing off now that she had Damian by her side.

Damian sighed wrapping an arm around her hugging her gently, “I have so much faith in you,” he whispered leaning down to kiss the crown of her head, “I’m just worried about what could all go wrong.”

Marinette sighed sitting up and turned to face him looking up into his emerald eyes, “I don’t want you to worry, I’m already scared I just want you to be the one to tell me everything is going to be okay. That we’re going to be okay.” she said moving forward to bury her face in his chest, “I want to act like this wasn’t an accident and that we’re not two stupid teens.”

Damian wrapped her up in a tight hug pressing a gentle kiss to her temple, “Okay angel,” he mumbled, “I’ll be your rock, we’ll get through this and we’ll be the best parents we can be.”

“That’s all I want.” she sniffled nuzzling closer using Damian's relaxed state to shove him back to lay on the couch quickly climbing up to cuddle up onto his chest burying her face into his neck, “I love you Dami,” she mumbled.

“I love you to angel.” he smiled softly gently running his fingers through her hair to help her relax as she began to slip away into a quiet sleep. He waited until she was fully asleep to allow himself to fully relax and take his time to process just what was happening. “I’m going to be a father.” he mumbled rubbing a hand down his face a soft laugh bubbling up from his chest as he smiled at the ceiling, “Todd’s going to have a stoke.”

~.~.~.~

“How is there nothing?” Dick asked staring at the screen of the bat computer, “That’s impossible there isn’t anything you can’t find.” he said turning to look down at Tim as he tapped away at the keyboard staring intently at the screen.

All three of the eldest Wayne boys had been down in the Batcave for hours scrubbing through phone logs, security feeds, anything and everything to get even a hint of what was to come for dinner. The longer they searched the more interested they got at the sheer lack of anything involving Damian and anyone else that would prompt him to act how he did.

“Doesn’t make sense Demon Spawn doesn’t just change overnight so either he’s just really good at covering his tracks or he’s a clone,” Jason said stretching out in his chair propping his feet up on the desk.

The other two made a humming noise as they continued to search through the documents for what felt like the hundredth time. “Wait!” Dick shouted jolting Tim and Jason nearly out of their seats as he pulled the keyboard from Tim’s grasp and started typing away, “We’re going about this all wrong.”

“And how, pray tell, should we be doing this?” Jason deadpanned looking over at Dick with a raised brow, “We should just go ask Demon Spawn and let him feed us a load of bullshit?”

“I mean clearly he doesn’t want us knowing anything because he buried it so deep but maybe asking him will give us some answers?” Dick said smiling in the face of his two brothers thoroughly unimpressed looks. “Oh come on it’s worth a shot.”

“Master Dick,” Alfred hummed walking down into the Batcave, “Master Timothy and Master Jason.” he nodded looking at the three men, “Our guests will be arriving for dinner soon please head up to the main house to clean up and get ready.”

“It’s time for dinner already?” Tim muttered turning to look at the clock noticing just how long they had been down there looking for the proverbial needle in a haystack.

“Yes so if you three will make your way to the manor proper.” Alfred nodded turning on his heels and headed back up the stairs so that he could continue with the dinner preparations.

The three men sat in silence for a moment longer before slowly making their way up the stairs. “Well, maybe we’ll get some answers during this dinner?” Dick asked looking at the other two only to receive shrugs in response.

Reaching the top landing they all split and went their separate ways to get ready for dinner taking their time to do their own thing. Soon enough a hard knock was heard through the manor signaling their mystery guests arrival. The three ran down once again shoving and tripping up each other to try and be the first in to see who would come through just narrowly avoiding crashing into Bruce’s back as they slid to a stop behind him.

Alfred calmly walked past them and opened the door, “Good evening Miss. Quinn, Miss. Ivy.” he said stepping aside allowing the two women to enter, “Welcome home Master Damian.” he said bowing his head to him, “and good evening miss?”

“You can call me Marinette.” she smiled softly up at the older gentleman, “I brought dessert,” she added holding out the large pastry box to Alfred trying to hide her nerves.

“Thank you, Miss. Marinette I’ll go put this away now. Dinner will be served shortly I hope you enjoy your stay.” he smiled softly nodding to the three women as he made his way to the kitchen.

“Damian you had us all quite worried when you ran out of here this morning.” Bruce said looking at his youngest and taking a moment to look over the three women before him, “Would you care to explain what happened?”

Marinette started to fidget keeping her eyes on anything but the Wayne’s before her, the soft pressure from Tikki in her purse doing little to keep her heart from beating out of her chest as her mind filled with everything that could go wrong. She managed to relax just a little as she felt the calm warm pressure of Damian's arm settling around her waist gently squeezing her hip to help ground her.

“Father, this is Marinette Isley-Quinzel,” Damian started his features cold and unreadable as he stared his family down, “she is my girlfriend.”

A pin could drop and sound like a gunshot in the silence that followed, the Wayne patriarch did well to hide his shock keeping a blank face as the three sons behind him ticked down to their own detonation.

“How much is he paying you?” Tim shot out.

“Where did you meet?” Dick grinned leaning forward.

“Blink twice if he’s holding you hostage.” Jason cut in.

Ivy and Harley stifled their laughs as they watched the three Wayne boys continue to throw outlandish theories and questions at poor Marinette. She seemed to calm down a small smile beginning to show on her face as she giggled at the two thinking she’d been coerced and the one trying to find out her life story. “He isn’t paying me or forcing me to be his girlfriend.” she smiled as Tim and Jason looked completely unconvinced, “and we met through a penpal assignment when I was thirteen but we didn’t start dating until I was fifteen,” she added on to answer Dick’s question.

“Well it is a pleasure to meet you Marinette it’s not often my youngest shows interest in anyone.” Bruce smiled stepping forward to take her hand, “shall we move to the living room while we wait for dinner?”

“That sounds just lovely Brucie.” Harley smiled stepping through them grabbing Marinette's arm and dragging her along out of Damian’s hold depositing her on a large armchair. Ivy shook her head smiling and followed her as she shrugged at Bruce taking a seat beside Harley on the loveseat as the Wayne’s made their way in. Once everyone was settled in and Damian got Marinette resettled on another loveseat so he could be beside her Harley decided it was a great time to drop the bomb, “So who’s gonna tell him?”

“Harls,” Ivy warned giving her a stern look.

“What? They need to know,” she said looking far too innocent for the chaos she was about to start.

“Tell me what?” Bruce asked looking at the two women carefully.

“Father,” Damian said drawing the attention of his family, “I know you just met Marinette but we feel you should know.” he said wrapping an arm around her to help keep her grounded, “Marinette’s pregnant.”

Silence doesn’t even begin to describe the absence of noise that followed, it was like a cold void swallowed the room as the Wayne’s collectively shut down at the news. Bruce’s face was unreadable as he took in the latest bit of news. Dick was practically vibrating out of his seat his eyes filled with glee. Tim looked as if his own brain was blue screening like a cheap laptop. Jason was the one to break the silence.

“Demon Spawn fucks.” Jason deadpanned

“JASON!” the room erupted from there Harley and Ivy cackling, Dick asking a million and one questions, Tim trying and failing to keep a straight face, and Jason roaring with laughter.

“What?! You’re going to look at me and tell me that I’m wrong?” Jason laughed, “the only thing I’m wrong about is that Demon Spawn would lighten up if he got laid.” he pointed at Marinette grinning wide, “She’s proof that he can fuck and still have a stick up his ass!”

“How long have you known?” Bruce asked his voice calm and collected effectively shutting down all conversation.

“I...” Marinette started her face a little pale from fear as she looked at Bruce’s emotionless face, “I found out this morning. I’ve had morning sickness for the past week.”

“You’re positive it’s Damian's?” he asked

“Father!” Damian glared moving to stand only to be held down by Marinette's small hand on his shoulder.

“I expected this,” she whispered urging him to remain seated before taking a deep breath and looked at Bruce, “I’ve only been with Damian since we began dating. If it’s not him then it’s Jesus coming back.”

Jason snorted getting a wide grin at the joke as he eyed Bruce trying to gauge his reaction.

Bruce seemed to take in everything he’d learned before a small spark lit up his eyes, “I’m going to be a grandfather.” he whispered tension starting to leave the room as he looked at Damian and Marinette pride and joy filling his eyes as he smiled wide, “I’m going to be a grandfather.”

“I call dibs on best uncle!” Dick shouted hopping up racing over to Marinette only to be tripped up by Jason.

“Like hell!” Jason shouted jumping over Dick, “I’m the best uncle for Pixie Pops kid.”

“Pixie pop?” Marinette asked letting out a yelp as Jason got right up to her practically throwing her up in the air as he lifted her from Damian's grasp.

“Hell yeah you’re small like a little fairy.” he grinned holding her as he jumped away from Damian's reach and Dick’s attempts to grab her, “so you’re Pixie Pop.” he chuckled.

The chaos began to unfold as Marinette finally relaxed all the stress bleeding away as she was welcomed into the crazy Wayne household. Ivy and Harley chuckled watching the two eldest and the youngest Wayne’s fight to grab hold of Marinette while Tim and Bruce seemed to quietly come to terms with all that was happening.

“So when’s the baby shower?” Ivy asked grinning wide.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

@myazael @beautiful-disasters-sunshine @moonlightstar64 @moonlitceleste @stainedglassm @casual-darkness @mochegato @ultimatetornshipper @heemsanddamemes @nathleigh @qualitypeacepainter

[atherix]

MY EMAIL AND I ARE GONNA FIGHT BUT AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THE WAS SO GOOD SDGKLSDF

Scar, new still to being on his own, being sad because he IS on his own when up until still relatively recently he had cub to talk to and peopple around and light and now its just. empty EXCEPT IT ISNT ANYMORE DSFAKLSDG MY BELOVED TUBBO AND YOU KNOW FOR A MOMENT, FOR A MILLISECOND, SCARS BRAIN WENT "Why is there someone IN MY HOME-" before he remembered his BELOVED NEW SON

and slfasfdgskdfg HIM AND LIZZIE ARE SO!!!! THEY ARE SO!!!!!!!!! LIZZIE BEING A CAT SHAPESHIFTER IS ******SO******!!!!! AHHHHHH AND HER BEING TUBBOS BABYSITTER IS SO CUTE OH MY GOD

And then the two of them talking to each other in the fae language so tubbo doesnt understand [ohoho but maybe he does now hmm hmmmm 👀👀]

OH AND LIZZIES TRUE FORM I HAVE QUESTIONS ASLDGK also just like how much she clearly cares about scar and trying not to let him pay her so much money but also JESUS CHRIST THE COUNCIL REALLY DO BE OUT HERE SHOWERING SCAR IN MONEY

Also this whole like scar suppressing fae magic is SO interesting and why do I have a feeling it will be coming up again sdglkf

ALSO ALSO what is up w the vegetarian thing i have questions was that brought up in the other midnight story w the beans bc i seem to remember it but i cant remember the context

SADLGK BUT ALSO SCAR WANTING TO HELP HIS *FRIEND* BECAUSE THATS WHAT THEY ARE THEY

'RE *FRIENDS* AND HE WANTS HER TO HAVE HER SHOP ASKLF

G O D dad scar is cute. baby tubbo is cute. brain melting

HJKVFSHJLKHGJKSJGLSK RIP <3 THANK YOU <3

Don't you know it <3 It's still so new to him but he'll get used to it <3 No more sad and silent and somber homecomings, now he has someone waiting for him <3

I LOVE LIZZIE SO MUCH <3 I knew from the start I wanted her to be Fae and then I was like "hmmm wait aren't some Fae shapeshifters" and BAM I got to have Cat Lizzie AND Fae Lizzie <3

hm hm hmmm :) This is pre child-mark so he doesn't know it yet but... Haha <3

HJGSJK I have questions too <3 LMAO she cares a lot I love her <3 ALSO YEAH THE COUNCIL has over the years collected so much gold and are so out of touch with the Natural world they have no idea how much of it means what and just jfdksd but hey what better way to keep a powerful ally working for you than throwing money at them-

I mean. :) We don't see Scar interact with many Fae, outside of the King and Cub (the former of whom is High Court and unaffected by the... aura I guess you could call it, and the latter of whom Scar was VERY careful to not let his High Court magic influence...) so :)

Did I mention it before? I don't think I did, if I did I have no memory of it hjfsdjk but it was more of an offhand comment than anything major no worry <3 :)

YEAH THEY ARE FRIENDS AND HE WANTS TO SEE HER SUCCEED WITHOUT BASICALLY SELLING HER LOYALTY TO A LITERAL VAMPIRE GOVERNMENT LMAO-

I love dad Scar <3 I love baby Tubbo <3 They are Important(TM) to me <3

[woodchoc-magnum]

L*ne St*r Hate Watch - 3x06

Disclaimer: Keep on scrolling if you love the show my dude, and have a great day!

Eddie Diaz just because:

One minute in and I'm already bored

"I will not leave you hanging again" – I bet he leaves her hanging again

He did.

And right into the barbed wire fence, yikes

Brianna is way too nice to this guy and honestly he does not deserve a second chance

He is well caught up on that fence. I knew a girl in high school once who ripped her arm open on a barbed wire fence; she had a wicked scar.

The guy's hung up on the fence and all Owen cares about is the aliens

"cobalts"?????? is owen for fucking real

Lucky for this guy, chicks dig scars

Owen Strand believes in aliens and I'm… okay. I guess we're doing this.

I'm still not thrilled about Judd's secret child

"growing up without a father, that must've given him some scars" – Judd, I love you, but people grow up in this world without fathers all the time

My friend is singlehandedly raising her two children and they are fine.

Oh no Wyatt's a vegetarian

DISOWN HIM

HE'S VEGAN

DOUBLE DISOWN HIM

Judd is trying so hard and it's not his fault this kid sucks. And I mean that in the nicest way possible but I'm very much team Judd here

"making TikToks" oh Juddy

"I'm sorry I'm kinda weird" no actually you're pretty normal, dude. Magic the Gathering is not that niche anymore

Ghostbusters is not scary, kids, I was watching it when I was like four years old and I was the most scared kid of literally everything

Kids these days just don't appreciate fine art anymore

Rob Lowe's hair looks like a wig

"It's 8am, I'm not a psychopath" – agree to disagree there, Owen

"What's going on?" "Well Cap, my newly discovered son and I have zero in common and because you're the biggest wanker – I mean most worldly guy I know, I'm going to need you to talk to him about all this weird stuff he's into"

Genuinely, I am concerned about Rob Lowe's hair in this scene because it looks fucking awful

"Hard learned knowledge about raising a young man" – Owen, you are the man who literally forgot that your son existed when you thought you might be having another baby. And you said that in front of him

I'd argue you didn't do that great of a job, pal

I am nearly 15 minutes in without seeing TK though so that's not a bad thing

Owen has "alien hunting gear" – he really fancies himself to be Fox Mulder, doesn't he?

Okay ngl I stopped watching for a few minutes and then someone started screaming so I came back and a lady has a tapeworm hanging out her nose

And unfortunately TK is now in it

Remember when Eddie and Hen plucked worms out of that lady's eyes and Eddie knew all those facts? Good times

This lady has a lot of worms inside her

TK's acting is particularly bad in this scene

This episode is dumb and I'm bored

Like I can't? Like… now Owen is suddenly involved in Judd's parenting storyline? And he didn't have to be?

Because literally no storyline in this show can exist without Rob Lowe being involved in it

Wyatt's kind of a drip

Judd is me in this entire scene

Simply baffled by vegans – like, good for you, but Imma eat some KFC

At least Owen isn't wrapped up in Tommy's storyline, I guess that's a good thing

"are you sure you're okay Dad?" TK asks in a monotone

Sorry I'm so bored that I haven't really been typing anything. There's some kind of radiation thing going on in the woods and I'm bored by it

I was sitting here thinking how much I miss Eddie Diaz so that's something

Remember the crossover when he was the hottest thing that's ever happened in the history of television? Yeah, me too

What the fuck is going on out here in these radiated woods?

Ohhhh they're scavengers and they scavenged a radioactive thing

And they just cracked open a glowing radiation thing with a hammer, shiiiit

Horrible, painful way to die guys, jeez, holy shit

AND THEY'RE SELLING THE RADIOACTIVE STUFF AT A FLEA MARKET WTF

Oh shiiiit these guys, at no point did they look at this glowing blue powder and think, "hey, why is this powder glowing blue?"

Grace is going to reach through the phone and strangle this guy

Grace is going to make a TikTok out of the call GOD DAMN

She is terrifying and I love her so much

This poor lady picked out a nice necklace for her mother and inadvertently exposed the whole family to radiation, that's going to be quite the story at every single family gathering for the rest of her life

Judd is trying so hard

Okay I'm coming around on Wyatt now

"I always wanted to go camping with my dad" – way to win me over, Wyatt

This episode was... dumb but fine? Like, I'm really only invested in Judd and Grace's storyline at this point and everything else is pretty boring.

It's not the best episode but it's not the worst. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Eddie Diaz always and forever:

God I love this goofball so much

[neonponders]

*sigh* catch me projecting on a Saturday.

I read this post ( @lazybakerart you wizard - ALSO IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY?????? HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹) and am now thinking about a sugardaddy!Billy with an ace!Steve. (*emphasis on grey ace*)

* Please nobody attack me for writing about leather fashion. I’m vegetarian and it’s fiction. Live a little. *

Read on ao3 ~

🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹

Steve just kind of stared at the box on the restaurant table. It wasn’t a ring box, but it was velvet. Goodness knew how many of these he’d seen in his life.

Steve knew wealth. He knew money, and all of the material variations therein.

He’d gotten pedicures with his mother before his father declared such a thing unfit for a boy coming into puberty. If you look like a man, act like a man. As if men didn’t have feet, or something.

Then he went to the salon. That wasn’t so easy to take away. Ventures with her son seemed to be the only things keeping Mrs. Harrington from being connected to her husband’s hip, so Mr. Harrington let them both have this one. Steve, fresh out of graduation, being given a hairdresser’s chair to accomplish summer-fresh highlights.

Mrs. Harrington was also the type of woman to enjoy shoes. Everyone has a thing. For some, they had bags. Others, jewelry. Vintage furniture. Designer wallpaper. Mrs. Harrington enjoyed shoes. It was where Steve learned to carry a woman’s bags, but he didn’t stay outside of the store. He learned how to clean suede, the difference between a 130 So Kate and an ordinary heel. What fetish meant in terms of fashion. He can convert heels sizes in millimeters to inches faster than a cashier calculating change.

Tommy and Carol had joked about Steve’s father having a different kind of fetish. Nothing to do with fashion, and everything to do with sex. Steve had foolishly let them into his mother’s bedroom and they were having a field day with a shoe closet that cost more than both of their houses combined. Still smelling of Nancy and pool chlorine, Steve as good as ended that friendship right there.

Because they didn’t get it.

Mr. Harrington certainly didn’t get it. Could never have such a sexual inclination because he didn’t understand pampering or indulgent interests.

He understood favors. Material apologies.

Mrs. Harrington had a collection of pearls and diamonds that she never wore.

Steve knew she liked opals and pink, pink rubies, because Steve liked opals too. Because he used his father’s money to buy ruby studs his mother actually wore. Because he gets her oldest, broken bracelet with green amber fixed, and she wears it until it breaks again. And then she presented Steve with a thin, gold chain to go around his ankle. With a gleaming, green amber stone flanked by two opals.

The green goes with our eyes, she said. Someone special will see the green in all that brown. It’s why we look good in reds.

Steve was still looking at the box on the table.

“It’s not going to catch fire, the longer you glare at it.”

His dark hazel, creek water eyes slanted up to the man sitting opposite him.

Billy Hargrove.

Stubborn to a fault. Gorgeous as Lucifer with wings freshly burnt off. And just as dangerous.

“I thought I said no more gifts.”

“And I ignored you. Open it.”

Steve went about it like ripping off a bandaid. He sighed at the window beside their booth, wrenching the thing open to see -

Diamonds.

He shut it with a loud clap and set it on Billy’s placemat. “No, thanks.”

The man’s features froze in tolerant stoicism, but he eased the box inside his suit jacket pocket. “You’re a hard one to shop for.”

Steve’s eyes widened dramatically over his wine glass of water. Not because he was sober - he’d willingly pay for an overpriced red, himself, if the handsome asshole weren’t trying to wave his wallet everywhere. “You can stop trying to buy your way into my pants any time you want.”

“If that’s all I wanted, I would’ve stopped three months ago.”

Three months ago,

When Billy breezed into Steve’s life as easily as he had senior year of high school. The two of them certainly deserved some kind of award for having a bizarre history.

Within a handful of months, Billy had arrived upon a turbulent time in Steve’s life, and then left nearly as quickly. Billy witnessed Steve and Nancy’s break-up, Steve’s fall from Hawkins High grace, and even beat his face a little bit. Because that’s what teenage men with bad emotional processing and even worse communication skills do.

Now, almost ten years later, Billy had some kind of empire behind him and Steve, well, didn’t. He had no idea what Billy’s job consisted of, but he got little hints. Mostly the negative space from Billy’s lack of discussing his job told Steve a whole lot.

Steve, who worked two jobs and occasional gigs wherever he was needed. During one such time, while Steve managed the cables and sound boards for Robin’s band, Billy Hargrove sauntered up to him with just as much charm mixed with hauteur as he’d ever displayed.

It wasn’t like meeting an old friend, because they had never been more than acquaintances, and roughly ten years was enough time for a personality to evolve ten different ways.

Steve couldn’t say how much he and Billy had evolved, really, but there was a point in there somewhere.

Maybe it lived in the, “I never expected to see you in a dyke club, pretty boy,” since it was all the coming out either of them needed.

Or the wanton kisses and fervent hands underneath the neon rainbow on the venue’s wall.

Maybe the point sat in the things Billy wanted, and what Steve was reticent to provide. Because Billy was a king who knew what he liked, and seemed particularly talented at walking into Steve’s personal crises like an anniversary.

Steve craved.

But he didn’t know what he craved. What he yearned for. He knew Billy’s kisses made his brain go molten and fuzzy. He knew Billy’s smell brought him just as much comfort, excitement, and anxiety. He knew finally being outside of sex-crazed high school had deflated something in him. The expectations to perform. He knew losing Robin’s stupid game of You Rule / You Suck gave him a secret gift of relief.

But he still craved. He wanted touch but he wanted to be alone. He wanted companionship but he didn’t want sex. But he did enjoy sex, except he didn’t want the expectation of it.

Well.

That was it, wasn’t it?

Billy Hargrove, who could have anyone he wanted plastered to his stupid, unbuttoned chest, had sought out Steve. Steve, king of mixed signals, Harrington. It was only a matter of time before he got his face beaten again. For wasting Billy’s time. For refusing Billy’s advances even though Steve clearly enjoyed Billy’s lips on his neck, and Billy’s hand on his inner thigh. For wanting Billy’s company and flirtation without the rules that finished in the bedroom.

So Steve refused the gifts. The material favors he could’ve sold for a better apartment. Fucked his way to owning a house that his mom would feel comfortable visiting. Be an unfeeling toy who could pay for his mother’s shoes and his own pedicures.

“Steve?”

He turned away from the window and the city’s electric constellations. “Hm?”

“Where’d you go?”

The back of Steve’s throat ached. He looked down at their appetizer plates and decided, “I think I’m going home.” After a second of them both hearing it out loud, Steve said with more conviction, “I need to be home right now. I’m sorry. Thanks for dinner.”

He almost reached for his wallet to pay for his half of the artichoke dip, but reconsidered. He took his old prom tuxedo jacket off on the way to the elevator, waiting for the doors to close before he pressed his face into the old fibers.

It would be easier if Steve didn’t know money. If wealth were a foreign pillow he had never slept on; could be spoiled into never giving it up again.

Like a true mother with a sixth sense, Steve withdrew a package from his mailbox when he returned to his apartment building. Mrs. Harrington’s versions of care packages were fashion magazines, a subscription to The New Yorker, polaroids of her latest closet pieces, and Steve’s favorite candy.

He loved it all. He didn’t need laminated recipes, bags of rice, or resupplied hair products. He went up to his bedroom, stripped down to nothing, and fell into bed with the hefty parcel. Fruity hard candies fell out like confetti, and he stuck a green apple square inside his cheek while he looked through her baggie of polaroids.

Peach suede 130s. Steve felt a warm tickle in his belly at that. She only wore 130s if she was pissed at his father. A woman in 130s walked with the force of a storm, mostly because the damn things were nearly intolerable to wear without a platform.

Another pair of diamond earrings. One of these days, people were going to realize how boring clear rocks were.

Dark, amethyst Miu Mius with the heel and toe encrusted with pearls. Steve’s dad must’ve really pissed her off to warrant that apology.

The magazine subscription had piled up, so he had three New Yorkers to read, but he opened the tome of Vogue first. His mother dog-earred her favorite articles, scent samples, and spreads. She often favored the androgynous and male fragrances. Steve liked that a whole lot. He wasn’t sure if she did that for him because he liked them, or if he liked them because she did that.

He held the magazine to his face as he went to the kitchen, smelling the first fragrance sample while he reached for his cache of boxed cake mix. It was a funfetti kind of night. He rattled the package of sprinkles in his hand while reading about some summer collection where the runway happened in a Greek ampitheatre. Sounded fun. Sounded like a great vacation. Beach, wine, and then modern art fusing with ancient architecture.

Steve didn’t excel in chemistry, but he knew a different kind of magic.

Which didn’t actually include baking. The cake emerged a little dark, but he cut off the burnt top, iced it to glorious, sugar perfection, and took a slice to bed with him. He turned the parcel upside-down for the last of the candy to come out so he could throw the envelope away -

Two bottles of nail polish landed heavily on the bed. Steve lifted the darker bottle to see a purple so ebony he thought it was black until he opened it to see the paint up close.

Purple and peach. To match his mother’s shoes.

Not many people understood his parents’ methods of producing or avoiding affection. But Steve did. He shook up the poison violet and painted his toenails in between forkfuls of cake.

He didn’t hear from Billy the next day.

Or the next.

As bad as Steve felt, he couldn’t say he minded. Nor would he be surprised if Billy never called him again. The idea brought a lonely peace during the commute to work, reading his magazines on the train before keeping them safe in a folder that he stuffed inside his backpack. Even if Steve’s chest felt like a cold balloon, with its latex worn thin and tired, he had his little things to keep him warm.

Then a knock on his apartment door.

Steve answered it with a cheek full of cake, interrupted from making his grocery list of actual nutritional value - 

Billy had never visited before. Steve stared at him long enough for him to ask, “Are you going to let me in?”

Steve glanced at the box under his arm and turned into his apartment with a sigh. Billy closed the door behind him as he remarked, “You don’t know what’s in it yet.”

There wasn’t exactly anywhere for Steve to theatrically storm off to. His kitchen was also his living room, and a half-wall partitioned the bedroom off to the side. His apartment was one long rectangle, and Steve remained stuck in the middle of it.

“Billy, I don’t know what you want from me that you think you can get from expensive things.”

“I don’t recall asking for anything in return,” he drawled while removing his coat.

“Don’t take that off,” Steve retorted.

“I’m taking it off.”

“This isn’t going to be a long visit.”

“Would you at least open the damn thing first?” Billy presented the box on the flat of his hand like a waiter’s tray.

Steve knew a shoe box when he saw one. He swatted the lid off the box before he even meant to. He was so tired of this game. Of these rules. He doesn’t want to see some snotty designer sneaker that isn’t to his taste. Some item the rules would dictate he accept without complaint. Or some chunky, foamy plastic, glorified tennis shoe that is over hyped . . .

He sees the red first.

It’s not a sneaker.

Hot Chick heels. 100mm. Black suede on top, red bottom. The leather around the heel scallop-cut like minimalist flower petals.

Steve’s breath has stopped in his chest. The pad of his thumb moved across the soft, matte leather before he stops himself. He tries to look stern when he dares to peek up at Billy, but those water-turquoise eyes are steady on him, absorbing his every reaction.

“These don’t exist in suede.”

Because they didn’t. Hot Chicks came in patent leather only.

“They do now.”

“Louboutin sizes down.”

“Then we’ll have them stretched.”

Steve is losing. Billy knows he’s losing. Billy - he -

“How - ?” Steve begins but stops. He closed his eyes and swallowed, only to flinch a little when Billy grasped his chin, holding him in place as he leaned in to lick the corner of his mouth free of icing.

“Will you try them on for me?”

Steve feels a mixture of defeat mixed in with petulance and vulnerable glee as he warily takes the box to his humble couch. Billy looked at his bed, and then to the kitchen on the other side of the apartment. He strolled into it and lifted the knife for a slice.

Steve, meanwhile, took his time. He opened the paper from where it had floated back over the shoes. He lifted the box to inhale the leather. He took one shoe out just to...see it. Look at it. Read the number stamped on the red arch.

Steve had to remove his socks, revealing his lacquered toes as Billy sat next to him with a plate. He eased the coffee table out of the way, giving Steve room to wiggle his foot into the severe 100mm heel.

They were hardly glamorous under his old, cut-off sweats.

But.

He’d never actually seen his feet in heels before. Never bothered to try to find his size.

Billy handed him the other shoe, and stood up with a ready hand. Steve wiggled into it and accepted his hold as he stood up.

How do you walk in those? he’d once asked his mother.

Trust the heel, my love, she’d answered, strolling around her bedroom in her 130s. If you’ve paid enough for it, it better hold up your entire form, and your dating baggage.

Steve had laughed, but listened to her every word. Move like a wheel barrow. You pivot on your toes, like the wheel, and rest on the heels.

“I’ve got you,” Billy purred when Steve teetered. Just a little.

“Why did you get me these?” Steve had to ask while he began to ease his arm off of Billy’s shoulders.

“Might’ve had a look inside your mail,” he admitted shamelessly. “I thought you might’ve ordered something and I could finally see what you liked. Instead, it’s the one thing I’ve seen you accept.”

“You’re a creep,” Steve declared, but he couldn’t look away from his feet as he strolled around the coffee table.

Billy laughed and sat down to his cake. “This is good.”

“It’s from a box.”

“It’s still good.”

Things . . . changed, after that. Billy came over just to come over. And he pestered Steve with endless questions.

“Do you like these?” he asked with his nose against the magazine pages.

Steve towered over him in his heels, but he’d wash dishes in whatever he wanted, thanks very much. And leather needed to be worn, as his mother taught him. Plastic is trash. If it comes from a living creature, it lives on a creature.

Steve snorted beside him. “My mom crimps those pages.”

“But do you like them?”

“They’re fun in magazines, but perfumes were never really my thing.”

“What is your thing?”

“Right now? You, elbows deep in here.”

Billy perked right out of the magazine only to lock onto the sink. “Because you’re having trouble reaching it now?”

Steve meant to have a witty come-back, but he got caught up in his own giggles. “Yeah.”

Then,

“Can I stay the night?”

Something must have flashed across his face, because Billy added, “Not for sex. I’ve taken the hint, all right?”

Steve slowly unfolded his socks where he sat on the foot of the bed. “Why do you want to?”

Billy wiped his hands on the dish towel and padded across the room to sit beside him. “Because I want to taste you before I sleep. And I wanna taste you when I wake up. I want your snark in my ears all the time - ”

“All the time?” Steve repeated, deadpan.

“Yeah, all the time. I can’t believe it either.”

Billy’s features were warm, unbelievably warm as he watched Steve laugh. “Of course I want to have sex with you. But I miss you when... I miss you all the time. It’s embarrassing.”

Steve rolled his eyes onto him, to which Billy defended, “I have things to do.”

“Yeah, ‘cause you’re the big man in town,” Steve babied, pushing his chest so he toppled backward.

“I am, actually,” he crooned, his hands finding Steve’s legs easily when he straddled him. “I’d work better with you on my desk.”

“My hairy legs and scraped up heels?” Steve threatened breathily, holding Billy’s cheek and jaw in one hand while he leaned over him so all Billy could see was Steve.

“All of it,” he exhaled, and pulled Steve’s head the last inch for a kiss.

Billy’s next gift was a pair of slippers. Plush, soft, and perfect after an afternoon in 100s.

Then he gave Steve a massage. Steve could accept those with ease. The balls of his feet hurt and even blushed a faint indigo from being so unused to heels. The warm attention of Billy’s hands on the arches of his feet, heels, and ankles; as well as the cold tennis balls he stored in Steve’s freezer to roll along his feet.

By then, he’d seen Steve’s anklet. So the next shoe box Steve opened were dark green suede, as poisonously dark as his mother’s violet heels. The toe was bare, but the heel was encrusted with opals. The milky stones flashed green and orange as Steve walked in the 120mm heel.

“How do they feel?”

Steve, with far more mastery over heels now, pivoted on his toes and planted one on the couch in between Billy’s thighs. His warm hand cradled Steve’s ankle immediately.

“What if I shaved for these?”

“Then I’d never take my hands off you.”

“So nothing would change,” Steve giggled, teasing gone as he landed on Billy’s lap. The man underneath him hummed his mirth into Steve’s mouth, his other hand burying in Steve’s hair while he let Steve control the kiss, explore his mouth.

“I thought they’d go with your eyes,” he said when the kiss petered off and Steve kissed his nose. Billy touched the pad of his thumb high on Steve’s cheek. “There’s a little bit of green there.”

Steve let Billy fuck him in those shoes.

Because he finally craved all the way, beyond fear of rules. Beyond the existence of toys. He craved Billy deeper than skin, and Billy gave it to him.

And when Billy got him a pair of 130s . . . blood red and spiked with tiny, crimson points, he let Steve fuck him.