#themes novos

[wellsygrahams-a]

oi gente, sou eu de novo pra pedir desculpas por estar meio sumida e não ter conseguido contatar todo mundo ainda, eu moro em buenos aires e bom estamos passando por momentos de onda de calor horríveis que nem vontade de comer tá dando (e eu amo comer), com isso fiquei umas 3 semanas tendo água e luz oscilando sobrevivendo ao calor infernal (a falta que um ar condicionado não me faz), totalmente sem condições de fazer alguma coisa. agora acho que estabilizou as coisas, apesar do calor infernal ainda estar por aqui mas ai finalmente consigo me organizar por aqui e responder todo mundo. tô fazendo mudanças no meu pinterest e aqui também logo vai ter uma mini reforma, mas é só mesmo pra dar uma explicadinha sobre o sumiço e também pra dizer que até o final dessa semana não passa e eu respondo todo mundo, beijos e obrigada pela compreensão e ainda não terem desistido de mim!

@maidavikah @farewellnevrland @lunaverrse @madelynzclne @cinderellc​

[tkeeping3]

ele: nossa, teste?

ela: sim, testando

ele: uau que legal

ela: uhum

[ssstikgpl]

Novo v4.2.2 free - Photography WordPress Theme (Gpl license)

We present you with an awesome Novo v4.2.2 free – Photography WordPress Theme (Gpl license). With it, you can create your own unique and beautiful site for Photographers, Bloggers, Photography Agencies, Photo Studios, Musicians, Videographers, and more. Novo v4.2.2 free – Photography WordPress Theme (Gpl license) galleries will show the uniqueness of your work and a simple and convenient store –…

[multifandomfanfic]

you should totally do a messi x daughter fanfic. One where she is in a relationship with Kylian Mbappe’s brother, Ethan Mbappe.

I love you writing btw. it’s awesome. Keep the good work!

A/N: So about this request--seeing as Ethan Mbappe is underage, I'm uncomfortable writing something for him. I'll do the fic with Kylian Mbappe instead, but I'm sorry, I won't do Ethan seeing as he's 16 and barely even legal in France.

I also combined it with this request: "will u make a fan fiction about Messi x daughter in which the daughter is an actress and they all go to a, premiere or an award show where she is nominated (and she wins), with her. Also an after party part will be good!"

Face claim for most photos: Haley Lu Richardson

Messi x daughter!actress!reader (also Mbappe x reader)

yourusername

liked by leomessi, sydney_sweeney, dannyramirez, and 3,328,498 others

yourusername: tiempo familiar, pt. 1

monicabarbaro: this movie better be good if you dyed your hair for it 😭

yourusername: i promise its worth the wait!! chrishemsworth: I can attest to that!

leomessi: Te ves hermosa, cariño! (translated from Spanish: "You look beautiful, sweetie!")

comment liked by antonelaroccuzzo and yourusername yourusername: gracias papa🥺 antonelaroccuzzo: 💕💕💕

neymarjr: obrigado por vir ao jogo, y/n, foi bom ver você de novo! (translated from Portuguese: "thanks for coming to the match, y/n, it was good to see you again!")

yourusername: you too! ❤️ user307: 👀

fanaccount1: how is she so pretty as a blonde and brunette???? she's so lucky

user203: she's literally anto roccuzzo's daughter be fr

user892: my favorite nepo baby

yourusername added to their story

celebritygossip

liked by pierregasly, ethanmbappe, and 837,238 others

celebritygossip: The first photo was posted on @yourusername;s story yesterday morning. The second one was posted by @k.mbappe just hours afterwards. Coincidence? We think not.

user487: i'm not sold at all but i'm glad it's not (possibly) neymar. i was not for the whole age-gap, dad's best friend thing.

fanaccount2: Totally agree. user008: me three, but we really shouldn't have any opinions on who y/n dates. we don't know her. fanaccount3: no one asked you to act all high and mighty.

user918: Y/N could have any man in the world and she choses someone who looks like a teenage mutant ninja turtle.

fanaccount4: She said we'll find out eventually, maybe this is it??

user773: i don't think she meant some random gossip account 'connecting the dots.' we still have to wait

yourusername

liked by leomessi, k.mbappe, glenpowell, and 2,385,019 others

yourusername: "Figures and Strangers" has officially ended production. I would like to thank everyone who I've worked with on this project; you have made every moment of this past year special, and I will remember our time together for the rest of my life.

"Figures and Strangers" is about family, love, and perseverance in the midst of hard times. While I may not have had hard times, the other themes of this movie pertained to my life when I auditioned:

Without my family's unwavering support and direction, I would not be where I am today; seriously, without my father, I wouldn't have been tipped off about Spielberg shooting his first film in Paris, and I would not be typing this today.

A year ago, I had gone on one date with the man I now call my love. Since that day, he has been with me through thick and thin: from nights spent crying over hard-to-memorize lines, to entire weeks when I was hardly home. He saw me through my highs in lows, through enjoying life then doubting every choice I've ever made. Honestly, I believe he's more love and understanding than man. I would have never known the man my father introduced me to would be such a blessing, but I am so glad to call him mine.

And, finally, perseverance: when I heard about this movie, I was still struggling with the notion that all I would ever be was my dad's child. I love my dad with all my heart and all my soul, but seeing myself called "Lionel Messi's daughter" instead of "Y/N Messi" in headlines about my own accomplishments damaged my self-esteem (not to mention all the "nepo baby" comments--yes, I read all of those). Yet, all of this motivated me to work even harder and persevere, as my character in "Figures and Strangers" does. I am glad to say that I am happy with where I stand right now, and I have made myself proud.

Anyways, to wrap this up, I'll quote the ever so wise Winnie the Pooh by saying how lucky I am having something that makes saying goodbye so hard. I am eternally grateful for everything that has happened in the past year because of "Figures and Strangers," and how it has transformed me as a person.

Thank you all again, and I'll see you in the movies.

~ Y/N Messi

leomessi: También nos has hecho sentir orgullosas, Y/N. (translated from Spanish: "You have also made us proud, Y/N.")

yourusername: muchas gracias, papá. te amo más de lo que sabes. ("thank you very much, dad. i love you more than you know.") comment liked by leomessi and antonellaroccuzzo

zoeisabellakravitz: Best Actress nom when

evanpetes: can't wait to see it!

psg: All of us are so happy for you!

comment liked by yourusername, k.mbappe, neymarjr, and leomessi

masonmount: seriously, y/n, congrats on everything. you deserve all the awards.

yourusername: ❤️❤️❤️ fanaccount5: guys???

k.mbappe

liked by celebritygossip, yourusername, chloegmoretz, and 3,389,291 others

k.mbappe: 🖤🤍

tagged: yourusername

chrishemsworth: Had a fun premiere with you both! Here's to more success yet to come!

comment liked by anyataylorjoy, jayrellis, and k.mbappe yourusername: you too!!

antonelaroccuzzo: You look stunning, sweetie 💕

yourusername: thank you mom 🥺🥺

fanaccount6: WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH

user940: how did we NOT see this coming it makes so much sense yourusername: i told you you'd find out eventually 😉

fanaccount7: they're so perfect omg????

user038: my wife and husband

leomessi

liked by yourusername, cmpulisic, leonardodicaprio, and 7,289,064 others

leomessi: (translated from Spanish) I couldn't be more proud of my daughter tonight. I remember the little plays you used to put on with your cousins and brothers, and today I watched you walk across the Oscars' stage to accept the Best Actress award. All of your hard work and dedication has paid off, and you've truly made a name for yourself. Congratulations on everything you've done and will accomplish in the future. I love you very much.

tagged: yourusername

yourusername: i'm going to cry dad! i love you too!

antonelaroccuzzo: We're both thrilled for you, Y/N. You've exceeded our expectations and turned into an incredible young woman.

yourusername: thanks mom!

k.mbappe: proud to call you mine💕

comment liked by yourusername leomessi: Take care of her!

yourusername

liked by k.mbappe, keleighteller, antonelaroccuzzo, and 3,510,389 others

yourusername: can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you

tagged: k.mbappe

k.mbappe: mon amour ❤️

leomessi: The best daughter and son-in-law a man could ask for.

comments on this post have been limited

[ilustrariane]

[ENG] Update 83 of Atnomen is already up for everyone on Webt00n and T4p4s!! Right on valentine's day i guess lol the theme for this episode is more a family matter, but…well, its Atnomen 😉 hope you enjoy

[BR] Update 83 está disponível em inglês no Webt00n e T4p4s!! Bem no dia dos namorados lá nos EUA, apensar desse episódio ser mais voltado para assuntos de família... Mas bem, é Atnomen! Espero que curtam. E Lembrando Pagões BR que também saiu novo update da versão traduzida de Atnomen! Não deixem de conferir 😉

[utilitycaster]

listened to RCCC finally! the very noncomprehensive and subjective new info. Under the cut because it's very long:

Matt's both excited and terrified for the potential this campaign to really deconstruct what came before and it does sound like he is unsure what precisely to expect

Everyone is excited for more of the Shattered Teeth; Taliesin holding out for the moon as "favorite landmass"

Ashley could go even harder with Fearne's chaos and the cast encourages her to do so

Sam really loved FCG and FRIDA's relationship and he and Christian texted about it a lot during that arc! (Christian throws some credit to Aabria's encouragement)

Unsure if FRIDA is a werewolf

Ruidus "noticed" Chetney and Matt has more to reveal...

Because Ashton's rage was heavily directed towards that lack of knowledge about their past they are clinging very hard to the reveal of the Titan of Blood and what that might mean (also, fun talk about Taliesin's theme of Holes In The Past); it's also giving them a sense of feeling robbed.

Marisha really loves how Orym has built upon the Ashari lore; Liam loved seeing Orym's family, which was very important since Orym's childhood was, unlike Vax and Caleb's, a happy one with an extended family

History of Shattered Teeth was heavily influenced by the collaboration with Brennan for EXU Calamity

Imogen spent a long time thinking Liliana would have her back and feels extremely abandoned; she loves her powers and doesn't want to lose them, but doesn't see another option given the harm of the Vanguard.

Fearne is not worried about being Ruidusborn, as she is perfect :)

Chet long rest rolls are, as we know, real. The cast (Travis included) think this is hilarious. Travis does NOT have a backup character. Matt points out that they should uh, probably do that. Liam jokes maybe Bertrand will come back instead.

The duality of aeormaton; FCG defeating Shithead and within a day asking the creatures on Slival to shit on him. Matt regrets this worldbuilding detail; the cast does not.

Orym is an exploration, in a way, of imposter syndrome; he feels responsible but does not feel like he is the right guy for the job. Marisha notes that Liam's vision for Orym was very much as a sidekick, but then found the group was all somewhat conceptualized as go with the flow.

Taliesin's favorite rage is Time, but Space is also fun. Liam loves the immovable rod in the hammer; Matt also does.

Travis is the best and good things come to him; he enjoyed Graz'tchar a lot for the brief time he had it, but also thinks it's way better to give the sword to Novos and see what happens.

Ashley wanted to snoop in the captain's quarters and did not intend to seduce him but he wouldn't leave, and so. Fearne did get a boon with the HP reduction, but it's a secret for now. (Christian adds that FRIDA getting to be there for a Fearne theft was an honor)

Marisha's notes are copious but as a result they are 10% useful, 90% "WE SHOULD CUT OFF LUDINUS'S HEAD." [which to be fair is imo useful]. Sam points out there's a lot of lore. They shout out Dani.

Sam jokes sarcastically about seeing his past characters when the cast at large is asked (Marisha, Liam, and Taliesin all answer but it's mostly the same as when they've talked about it on 4sd).

The cast is busy and have not seen a ton of other shows lately but Sam does confirm he recently watched Jury Duty; Marisha and Matt like watching creepy movies and video essays together.

I feel they should uh...screen mental health related questions a bit harder; it's not that it's not important but I get the sense it's really difficult for the cast to answer to a live mic when they're here to talk about d&d.

Who would they swap character sheets with in Bells Hells: Travis and Marisha would both be Ashton, Taliesin would be Chetney, Ashley would be Laudna or FCG, Sam would be Fearne, Liam would be Laudna, Laura would be Fearne.

Sam has no dice superstitions. Laura disputes this; Sam will put dice in jail if they roll too poorly.

Voodoo donuts has dick donuts, to Laura's great joy. [I will say I suspect the reason they are going to RCCC is that LA to Oregon is an easier trip than to the east coast. also I cannot tell which cast member (or possibly Christian) said "I want a dick" but yes, much like Laura, I did laugh.]

Someone asks about the Titan Blood idea because they also have this concept in their campaign! Matt says that this made sense given that Ashton was transformed to a Genasi as part of his backstory.

An impulse that Ashley didn't follow through on was setting the Omen Archive on fire; she thinks it could have gone very badly and Matt confirms he did have a battle map ready

Has Vex seen the bug? YES (Laura tells the story in Vex's voice; Liam interrupts as Vax; Matt interrupts as Trinket)

How have your characters affected your worldview? Taliesin jokes it's therapy; Laura says it helps you empathize with people around you by pretending to be someone very different than yourself. Matt agrees that it's a reminder to treat everyone as individuals. Liam especially notes that Caleb taught him to accept the challenges within life without trying to escape them. Marisha encourages a self-insert to start, but to branch out after that. Travis says anyone of any age can have an adventure.

[beatrixrocha]

StobotnikWeek-Movie AU

Ultimo dia do stobotnikWeek foi divertido

adorei ter participado valeu de novo @brucesduque

Pro tema de hoje, eles no filme Titanic

━━━━━━━━━━◆🥚❤🪨◆━━━━━━━━━━

Last day of stobotnikWeek, was fun

I loved participating, thanks again @brucesduque

For today's theme, them in the movie Titanic

[rays-of-fire-and-ice]

congratulations on another year of writing :)))) <3

for the fic requests, Hitsuhina first date! (yes I still remember when you teased that one snippet of Toushiro going to meet Momo for dinner and Rangiku finding out haha) it can be awkard it can be spectuacular it can go horribly wrong, i want to see your take on them navigating through a change in relationship :)

What if it Was?

Rating: K/General with mild themes

Setting: sometime after the 10 year timeskip. I personally see this happening when they’re in their early young adult years, but please feel free to imagine this happening whenever you want.

Synopsis: Toshiro and Momo go on their first date, but Toshiro isn’t sure how first dates are supposed to go, or if this even a date at all.

AN: I’m starting the year off with a VERY overdue request.

 @canariie, you’ve got me! I’ve been dancing around this one for years, but now I have no choice but to release it! XD

I’m joking, but in all seriousness, this one has been collecting dust in my WIP folder for a few years now. I always got stuck on it in one way or another. This fic originally came about as a sequel to In Times of Peace (which I think is the first fic I wrote for you, ironically), but morphed into something else.This one does get angsty and a tad bit melodramatic – it’s me we’re talking about - but I promise it has fluffy moments.

Just three quick notes:

The research I did into this one was based on searching online and remembering old conversation I had with a friend who went to Japan. A shokudo is a casual restaurant that offers a variety of dishes, including curry, rice and noodle dishes, even sushi.

The mural in this piece is inspired by this one.

I wrote this fics with several songs in the background. Feel free to listen to them as you read: going home and compassion by Shiro Sagisu, The Bygone Days by Joe Hisaishi, and State Lines by Novo Amor

Anyhow, enough rambling, hope you enjoy it!

____________________________________

“Hey, Captain, when can I get my magazines back?”

Toshiro neatens the paperwork before putting it on top of the ‘completed’ stack. Without looking Rangiku’s way, he replies, “When you stop relying on those horoscopes to predict the future.”

The lieutenant slams her hands down on her desk, almost shooting up to stand. “But they’re so accurate! Besides, it’s a fun to learn about the World of Living and how they…” She trails off when the captain stands and starts wrapping a scarf around his neck. “Wait, are you going out?”

“Yes.”

“But I was going to go drinking with Kira and Hisagi! Captain, you can’t leave me with all of this!” She thrust one hand out towards the stack of incomplete paperwork, and the other to the much smaller completed pile.

“You went out drinking last night!” he retorts. “You can’t leave this office until you complete all of this, some of it is overdue now.”

Rangiku falls back into her seat with an exasperated sigh. “I know, but it’s no fun.”

“Since when was it supposed to be fun?”

“Well, you seem to like doing it.”

“Where did you get that idea from?!”

The lieutenant pouts and leans forward, resting her elbows along the desk. “Why are you going out? You rarely go out on a work night.”

Toshiro continues to wrap the scarf around his neck, considering his words. He can already predict her reaction if he tells the truth, but telling her a lie feels wrong. “I’m going out to dinner in the Junrinan.”

Rangiku raises a brow. “By yourself?” Then after a beat she smiles. “Or is it with your Granny? Taking her out for a treat?”

“No.” He breathes in deeply as he shrugs off his haori, preparing for her reaction. “It’s with Hinamori.”

And sure enough, the lieutenant gapes at him, hands slamming down on the desk again to push herself up and out of her chair. A vein threatens to throb in his temple when her paperwork stack wobbles, but thankfully doesn’t topple.

This goes completely unnoticed by Rangiku as she rounds the desk, barraging him with questions. “Where? When? How?! How did you ask her out? Or did she ask you out?! Oh my gosh, why didn’t she tell me?! She was updating me two days ago with Women’s Association business, why didn’t she tell me then?! Please don’t tell me you-”

“Enough, Matsumoto!”

She quietens, widened eyes blinking. Toshiro lays his folded up haori on his desk, ready for him tomorrow morning. “She just said she wanted to go eat dinner somewhere in Junrinan,” he clarifies. “This isn’t a…date.” He barely gets the last word out.

Rangiku taps a finger against her chin. “You’re going to a restaurant in the Junrinan for dinner?”

“Yes.”

“Is anyone else going with either of you?”

“No.”

“So, it’s just the two of you then?”

“…Yes.”

She grins. “Sounds like a date to me.”

Faint pink colors Toshiro’s cheeks. “Whatever, I’m going!”

Rangiku scoffs. “You know, if I had my magazine I could use a horoscope to predict how you’re date will go tonight. Last I check for your sign it was-”

“I don’t want to know. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going.” He stabs a finger towards her paperwork as he strides to the office door. “Those had better be done by tomorrow morning.”

“Oh, they will be! You go and enjoy yourself, Captain! Good luck!”

This is one of the few times Rangiku looks happy to be doing paperwork, but Toshiro can’t stay to absorb this strange moment; he’d be two minutes late if he didn’t hurry. He hastily leaves his division, acknowledging but not stopping when any of his subordinates greet him.

Stepping out into the dusk, the cold air picks up, bringing grey clouds over the Seireitei. He adjusts his scarf, bringing it higher over his face as the temperature plunges. Winter had just begun, and he senses the snow is on its way, likely to fall sometime tonight.

Nearing the White Road gate, a sense of unease bubbles up in him. What if this was a date? It couldn’t be. Momo didn’t see him that way, he knows. She sees him as a close friend to him, had told him as such not too long ago.

She just wants to properly catch up. In the years following the Quincy war and reconstruction of the Soul Society, they chatted when they could, even had the occasional lunch breaks together, but work always took precedence in both of their lives; or at least, in his life. Momo has more friendships, more people to spend time with. He’d seen her with the Women’s Association members at various shops and resturants, and Izuru and Renji – who sometimes brought Ichika along when he couldn’t find someone to mind her when she was a baby and child – sharing a tea or meal after a lieutenant’s meeting on a veranda of one of their divisions. She’d also gotten more World of the Living missions, sometimes simply as an excuse to visit the Visoreds with Shinji. They were long overdue to spend time together outside of work.

Coming through the gate, he already gets stares from the small crowds of Souls and off duty Shinigami that crowd the Junrinan. It’s for that reason he chose to leave his haori behind – he already attracts enough attention with his appearance outside of the Seireitei, and he didn’t want preferential treatment based on his rank.

He heads straight for their old meeting place: the alleyway between the stall that sold spinning-tops and a garment shop Momo used to always look into but never buy anything from.

He glances around for Jidanbo, but frowns when he doesn’t see him anywhere. Must be having the night off, he thinks. It’s been a while since he last saw him too. He makes a mental note to visit him sometime this week on his break – maybe he could fit in a visit to Granny too.

“Hitsugaya-kun!”

He swivels his head in the direction of Momo’s voice. She calls out for him again, and he spots her emerging from the alleyway. He weaves his way through the crowds to her, not once losing sight of her.

As he nears, his eyes widen a fraction at the scarf around her neck. It was a birthday present from him and Rangiku, but it’d been over a decade since he last saw her wear it at a formal dinner for then-Captain General Yammato. Made from red and orange silk and patterned with the branches and flowers of peach blossoms, it was one of the most expensive gifts he’d ever gotten her. Why would she wear something like this to a dinner? Where is she taking him? Should he have dressed up more? Maybe he should have worn his haori after all.

“How long have you been waiting for?” he asks, his neutral tone at complete odds with the nervousness thrumming through him.

“Not long.” She points to a large building down the street, bustling with customers inside and outside. “That’s it right there.”

He blinks when he spots one of the red lanterns swaying in a breeze. A shokudo? He calms a fraction; it’s more casual than he thought. “Well, let’s get inside if we can, it’s freezing out.”

Momo lets out an bemused snort. “You’re cold, Hitsugaya-kun?”

He’d normally correct her for not addressing him by his title, but they’re off duty, he’ll let it slide for tonight. “I’m not the one with a fire-type zanpakuto that’s sensitive to the cold.”

She giggles, holding the end of her scarf. “I’m okay, I made sure to wear extra layers.”

As they start towards the restaurant, Toshiro asks, “Why this one?”

“I’ve been meaning come here for a while,” Momo says. “Apparently the owner used to be a Shinigami but after he retired, he decided to open a shokudo inspired by the different types of restaurants in the World of the Living he went to while stationed there. I’m curious about the food, it’s supposed be different in taste and the types of dishes they offer compared to others in the area.”

Toshiro raises a brow. He was actually referring to her scarf, but let's it go. “He had time to go do that while on missions?”

“Well, you apparently have time go for walks when you’re on missions. We all have our ways of winding down or keeping ourselves occupied during missions.”

Fair point, he concedes inwardly. “And how did you find out about this place?”

“It was recommended to me by my third and fourth seats. Apparently a lot of people have already been to it, it’s quite popular.” She gestures to all the patrons, her smile tightening. “Hopefully we can get a table.”

He hums in agreement. If either of them had come dressed in their full uniforms, there would no doubt be a fuss made over them. They’d be offered private tables away from the noise, or ones with the best view if they were outside. Some places even offered discounts or meals on the house. He appreciates the generosity, but he also considered it making a scene. He’s glad Momo is of the same mind, never flaunting her status for benefits.

He receives a few looks as they walk between the outdoor tables. He recognizes some faces from Junrinan, children he had known on his street now grown up. Momo waves to one group of them, and they smile and nod back to both of them in response. The way he is treated now compared to then is almost night and day. Although some continue to stare, there’s a respect from some Souls that wasn’t present when he was a child.

Once inside, they’re shown to a table along the wall, right beneath a painted mural.

“What drinks would you like to start off with?” the waiter asks.

“Water,” Toshiro requests.

“And yuzu juice for me, please.”

After the waiter leaves, Momo glances around the restaurant. “Are you okay with this? It’s not too noisy?”

“It’s fine.” Toshiro peruses the long menu list. “How big is their kitchen? How can they serve so many dishes?”

Momo’s smile relaxes, the nerves seeming to dissipate. “You can see why it’s popular, huh?”

Toshiro lifts his gaze from the menu. There’s only two free tables inside, and the others are mostly occupied by…couples. Couples laughing and giggling and smiling and holding hands and talking like they’re married and one going in for a shy kiss on the cheek.

He quickly darts his head down. Considering or even noticing such things would be the furthest thing from his mind normally, but he’s potentially on a date – with Momo. Maybe he should have gotten Rangiku more involved in this. She’d know what to do and what not to do…or maybe not.

Toshiro snaps out of his thoughts when the waiter comes back with their drinks.

“And are you ready to order?” the waiter asks.

Momo looks questioningly to Toshiro. “I’m ready.”

Toshiro picks the first thing he sees. “I’ll get a the teishoku with yakizakana and tamagoyaki.”

“And can I please have a serving of takoyaki and the katsudon curry dish?” Momo requests.

The waiter nods. “I can bring the takoyaki over in a few minutes. The other dishes will come after.”

Momo thanks him as he leaves.

“I thought we could share some takoyaki, if you want,” she says to Toshiro. “I’m happy to eat them all, though.”

Toshiro shrugs. “I’ll eat a few.”

He’s surprised by the silence that comes. He’s used to having quiet moments with Momo, when neither feels the need to say anything and they just enjoy each other’s company. The awkwardness that settles between them is unexpected, like something from when they were first getting to know each other as children. Was it just him? Was it because this could be a date and he had no clue what to talk about?

“This mural is really nice,” Momo suddenly says.

Toshiro looks at the painting. It’s bold black lines depict a scene of four Souls travelling through a hilly valley. Two of them carry baskets on their backs filled with wood and fruits, while another Soul strolls ahead carrying various kitchenware, and the last Soul is far away and waving back at his companions. The valley’s flora is detailed and elegant, while the Souls are more flat and seem out of place. The only patches of color come from the sakura trees on both side of the valley’s winding path, the petals either swaying on the branches or falling across the scene.

“I wonder what it’s about?” Momo says after a sip of juice. “Maybe it has something to do with the restaurant if one of them is carrying a pot?”

“Could be. You could ask someone who works here.”

Something softens in her gaze as it flickers back down to the table. “I might…”

“You should.” There was his problem. He couldn’t think creatively like her, or find a way to carry this conversation. He’s never been ashamed of this nor has it ever been an issue for him, but somehow he feels inadequate now. He clears his throat. “How has your day been?”

Before she can answer, the takoyaki arrives. After thanking the waiter, Momo pushes the dish towards him. “Have a few.”

“Thank you,” he says while taking two.

She makes a satisfied sound after biting into one. “These are good!”

He only nods as he munches on his. After her second one and taking another sip of juice, her head piques up with a nervous laugh. “You asked me about my day, sorry. It was busy, but productive.”

“No surprise there.”

She frowns and her lips are on verge of a pout. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re always busy, and you work hard, so it’s productive.” He’s surprised by his compliment and how easily it fell from his lips. He stops eating, gauging her reaction as she too seems as astonished as him.

A blush colors the tops of her cheeks. “Captain Hirako worked hard too.”

Toshiro bites back on the comment he wants to make about Shinji’s work ethic, afraid he might say something else without realizing.

“We finished up our schedules for the new recruits ahead of time,” she continues, “so we’re prepared for when they start.”

“That won’t be for another two months.”

“It helps to be prepared! With that out of the way, we’re now focusing on setting up training  exercises.” She takes a long sip of her juice, but then hums. “Actually, now that I remember, we were wondering if Tenth Division would like to join in one of those exercises.”

“What would the core lesson be?”

“It’ll be up to you and Captain Hirako to negotiate. I could arrange a meeting with you, me, my Captain, and Rangiku-san if you’re interested.”

“I doubt we’ll have time in the next month.”

“That’s okay. We have three months planned starting tomorrow.”

“In that case, I’ll have Matsumoto tell you our schedules at the next lieutenant’s meeting.”

“Great!” Her smile turns rueful. “Ah, sorry, I feel like I’ve been speaking for too long. What about you? How was your day?”

“The same as any other. We only came back from the mission in the World of the Living two weeks ago.”

“How did it go? It sounded like a difficult.”

“It wasn’t that hard, it went smoothly. The Hollows were eliminated and we reported our findings to Hueco Mundo. They’ll take it from there.”

“It’s incredible that we’re able to work with them this well now.”

He hums in agreement, ignoring the thought of his fight with Hueco Mundo’s queen all those years ago. “The last thing to do is the reports. Matsumoto is finishing them up.”

“I see.” At the quiet that followed, her smile wobbles. “I, uh…I guess we work a lot, huh?”

“Yes, we do. Our duties as Shinigami never end.”

“Mhm.”

Silence falls again. He internally lectures himself, annoyed that he’s gotten so serious in what was supposed to be a light-hearted atmosphere. For a moment, he’d though this like their usual chats, discussing their latest work and setting up training exercises.

He almost lets out a relieved breath when the main dishes arrive. Momo barely draws her gaze away from the food to thank the waiter for the meal along with Toshiro.

“These look amazing!” she half exclaims after the waiter leaves.

The tension dissipates Toshiro’s lips twitch up into a smile at seeing Momo’s glee. He didn’t see what the fuss was about, but he did have to admit they were decorative compared to other dishes in other restaurants. She still hasn’t started after he “Food is meant for eating, Hinamori, not staring at.”

She ignores him as she digs a hand into her sleeves and retrieves her denreishinki. “I have to take a picture.”

He’s lifting his miso soup when she gives him a look. “What?”

“I want to take a picture of yours too.”

He indulges her, putting the soup back down and watches as she leans over the table to snap a photo. Satisfied, she nods at him and he starts gulping down the soup.

After putting her denreishinki away, Momo makes an appreciative sound after eating a katsu cutlet. “This tastes really good!”

“Glad you like it.”

The silence falls between them again. They can use the excuse that they’re busy eating, but it feels wrong to him. Had they gotten more comfortable discussing work than their personal lives? There was a time where it was the opposite, and chatting about everything outside of work took up most of their conversations. When had that changed? Why had it changed?

So, with the nerves threatening to creep in again, he says, “It’s not everything.”

Momo blinks, halfway through eating another cutlet. “Hm?”

“Work, it’s not everything. What books are you reading right now?”

Momo’s brows rise, nearly touching her hairline, and she almost forgets to eat the rest of cutlet.

“What?” he asks.

“Nothing, it’s just you’ve never asked me that before.”

“Well, there’s a first time for everything.” He cringes inwardly at how petulant he sounds.

She giggles, raising a hand to her mouth, and he hates the small, pleasant flutter that goes through his chest.

“Of course,” she says, grinning. “I’ve been reading a drama series called the Crimson Chrysanthemum saga. It’s about three warring clans, and each book is about the generations of families fighting each other.”

“Sounds like something you’d read.”

“How so?”

“You’ve always been into things with high stakes and high emotions.”

“It doesn’t just have that! It has such interesting dynamics between the characters! It’s not just all of them proclaiming their feelings aloud, you can really sense how the history of the previous books has affected these characters. There’s so many moments where things have gone unsaid, but you can just sense how a character feels towards another through their actions! For instance, there’s a character who doesn’t speak, but you know every time he looks at another character or fights that characters brother he’s not just trying to protect his own honor, but the other character’s honor too! Some characters try to make peace with themselves and with their enemies, and others have become so blinded by the codes their families have set them down a path to continue the violence.” At his widened eyes, Momo shrinks back into her seat. “S-Sorry, I got carried away there.”

He lets out an amused huff and smirks. “No, it’s fine.”

“You think I’m silly, don’t you?”

“Not right now.”

She considers arguing back as he eats his miso soup, but settles on an angry pout.

 “You haven’t talked about a book like this in a long time,” he says. “It’s good to see.”

That calms her slightly, but a furrow remains in her brow. “I don’t really get a chance to talk about what I’m reading with a lot of people. It’s mostly with Ise-san and Kira-kun.” She cocks her head to the side. “You know, it’s a little surprising you’re not much a reader.”

He raises a brow. “How so?”

“It feels like something you’d be interested in.” He senses there’s more she wants to say, but she eats another cutlet before continuing. “I know just the sort of books you’d like, too. There’s a few mystery novels, ones that are hard to figure out but make total sense once you’ve finished them.”

“And why would I like those?”

“Because you like solving mysteries. Even when we were children, you’d get suspicious of something that seemed unusual or out of place and want to know everything about it.” Her eyes brighten. “Like that time when you were hearing noises at night time, do you remember?”

He frowns as he tries to recall. It’s vague, but then an image of Granny staring grimly at a turned over basket of spilled out peaches across the ground, muttering that someone had stolen some of the fruit. He’d woken to noises three nights in a row, but it wasn’t until the fourth time when they had been robbed that he decided to take it seriously. “That was when you were applying for Academy.”

“Yes! You went looking around for clues. You even asked me and my friend if we’d heard anything.  At some point, you found the animal tracks near your house. ”

He’s surprised she remembers everything in that much detail. Had she been watching on from the sidelines during that whole ordeal? “It was a stray dog.”

“Haruka-san ended up adopting her, right?”

He nods. “I think she named her Aki --”

“Because spring was a few weeks away,” Momo finishes with a grin. “I’ll never forget the look on her face when you brought the dog back to the Junrinan. You didn’t want to Aki be out in the forest because it was cold.”

He shrugs. “It’s good she found an owner. Besides, she was a good work dog, it would’ve been a shame to let her fend for herself when she could help someone in the Junrinan.”

Momo’s grin softens into a smile, one that makes his heart skip a beat and almost choke on the fillet he chews up. “It was kind of you,” she says. “And it’s not the only time you did something like that. You’ve always been kind. I wish more people saw it back then.”

He’s rendered speechless, only able to watch as Momo continues eating. He tries to do the same, but he eats slower and stares hard into the table. Where was all of this coming from?

“I wasn’t,” he eventually says. “I was a brat, really.”

“Well, yes, but not all the time. You always treated Obaa-san with kindness, at least.”

“I wouldn’t dare treat her any other way.” He eats the last fillet before speaking again. “On the books…If you have recommendations, then I’ll read them.”

“You would?”

“You’re an avid reader, I trust your judgement.”

“I’ll give my copies some time then! We can discuss them after you’re done, I’d be keen to hear what you think of them.” After he nods, she continues, “On the topic of hobbies, have you been doing any ice sculptures lately? I know you usually like to restart your Seireitei Communications column in winter.”

“It’s the best conditions for sculpting.”

“That makes sense.”

He goes on to tell her about the projects he’s working on while she eats the curry and the rest of the cutlets. As always, she’s genuinely interested, and that somehow makes him want to speak more at length about his interests, from the tools he’ll be using to the inspiration behind it. Only she does this for him, and both does and doesn’t want her to know what effect she has on him.

He gets back to eating once he finishes and she explains the new ikebana classes she’s attending. He doesn’t miss the brief sadness in her eyes as she reflects on how hard it was to get the classes up and running again after the loss of Unohana, but she brightens up again when praising Isane for her efforts to find new students and become the class’s new teacher.

Little by little, the awkwardness slipped away, and in it’s place is a bubble that envelopes them. It makes the restaurant blur away in the background, but also enhances the lights and colors that surround them, and his sense of smell is enhances to capture all the delicious scents and aromas coming from the kitchen. It’s like nothing he’s experienced before, and he nearly smiles from how pleasant it is. A world of their own, almost.

It’s only briefly interrupted when the waiter comes by to collect their empty dishes and glasses. Toshiro beats her to the counter to pay, but Momo still insists on a split bill. Not wanting to cause a fuss in front of the other patrons, Toshiro somewhat reluctantly agrees.

They step back out into the streets. It's now night and the snowfall has begun. The Souls who had acknowledged them had either left or are too busy amongst themselves to see the two of them leave.

Wordlessly, they walk through the Junrinan with no destination in particular. Toshiro watches their breaths fog in the air, floating away from each of their lips, carried by the wind, and fading a short distance away. Snow falls gently around them, and save for the shafts of moonlight peaking through the clouds and the soft glow coming from the windows of houses, it’s complete darkness all around them.

He thinks to ask Momo if she had anything else planned for them, but then she may want to part ways and break the invisible bubble around them. He wants to keep walking with her just like this, warmed by her presence and surrounded by his element.

He can make out the pink in her cheeks, it complements the reds and oranges in her scarf. She smiles to herself, content with how this evening has gone. But what was this evening? She invites him out to dinner tonight, yet he can’t tell what the nature of it is.

“Do you remember the day we met?” she suddenly asks without looking at him.

“Of course,” he replies.

“For some reason, the snow is reminding me of when we first met. It's hard to believe that was almost a hundred years year ago.” And she doesn’t have to say the rest, because it’s written all over her face when she glances at him. I’m glad we met back then.

This weather is familiar to him, he knows its rhythms and patterns, even when it was unpredictable to others. He wishes he can say the same for Souls, especially her. He’s known her for most of his life, but she continues to surprise him; just when he thinks he knows her completely, she proves him wrong.

He’s at his limit.

They’ve ended up at the edge of the forest and several meters away from the back of a row of houses. Nerves thrum through him as he comes to a stop after. She makes a quiet, surprised sound and turns to him. “Is something wrong?”

No matter how much he breathes, he can’t calm his racing heart. “Hinamori…”

His tone pops the bubble around them, and the gentle wind that blows through is colder than before. Momo waits, but the longer he remains silently, the more fidgety she becomes. She adjusts her scarf, shifts her weight from one foot to another, and takes in a breath that lifts and lowers her shoulders. Does she know what’s coming? Can she sense his apprehension?

If he says something, what will happen? She might be shocked, caught completely off guard by the very idea this evening was something more than two friends catching up. She may even laugh, wondering how he came such an odd conclusion. Either way, he needs to put his mind at ease.

“This wasn’t a date, was it?”

She frowns, a bemused grin twitching at the corners of her lips. “Shiro…” She trails off when she takes a step closer. She must see his genuine confusion because her expression falls, unsure of herself. She purses her lips, gaze briefly falling to the ground. “What if it was?”

The world stills around him. “…It can’t be.”

She fumbles over words. “I’m sorry, I thought – I assumed you…I was silly, I should have said earlier what I thought this was.”

 “That’s not it. ”

She takes another step. “Then…what do you mean?”

“You…You can’t have…” He doesn’t know if he can continue, hoping but also dreading that the implication will be clear to her.

A part of him is tempted to let out a bitter laugh, but it never reaches his throat. Even after all this time – even after forgiving him for what happened in the Fake Karakura Town, regardless of her belief an apology was never needed – he still thinks he’s unworthy of any feelings from her. He had been prepared when he visited her after her recovery to be told she couldn’t be his friend anymore, but a part of him hoped; and deep down, a part of him knew she would forgive, that’s just the kind of person she was. Her bond mattered as much to her as it did to him, to the point where it had been used against them to irreparably change it forever.

Aizen had intended the change to end in the death of one or both of them, but in the end all it did was make Toshiro realise his feelings had changed for her over the years. They burrowed deeper into his heart, to the point where seeing her in pain brought him to ruin, to the point he was willing to abandon everything he’d built for himself over the years to protect her and her pride.

“Shiro-chan, please. I don’t understand.”

“How can you…f-feel for me that way? After everything that happened, you shouldn’t.”

A pang runs through his chest at the hurt that briefly flashes through her expression. Then, something flickers in her eyes, a realization. She sighs quietly, nearly exasperated. “I’ve said it before, but everything that happened was his fault, not yours. Never yours.”

He knows this to be true deep down, but it feels like a smaller part of him always lie in wait, ready to catch him at his most vulnerable and remind him of what he did, screaming at him that it was his fault.

She takes another step. “I haven’t let it stop me from moving on, f-from…from realizing my feelings. I don’t exactly know what I feel for you, but –” Her gaze is soft and vulnerable and pleading, wanting him to truly understand. “I know it’s something more than I’ve ever felt for you in the past. I know it’s more than as a friend.”

He lets out a shuddering breath. He should be overjoyed. This should be one of the happiest moments of his life. Momo doesn’t see him as a close friend, she feels more for him, just as he feels for her. So why is he confused? Why does his heart tremble with doubt?

No, there’s something more going on here, beyond the few fragments of guilt buried in his mind and if he faces it, he doesn’t know how he’ll react in front of her.

At his lack of a response, a small, sad smile shapes Momo’s lips. She comes closer. “I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you before what this was. Somehow, I thought…” She scoffs at herself. “I thought you would know, but that was presumptuous of me. I don’t know why I…” She shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter now. I-I’ve said what I…” She stops in front of him. “Maybe I’ve said too much. Maybe you can’t see me the same anymore. Even so, only you can choose how you feel, and I’ll accept whatever it is.”

She says it as a reassurance, but there’s also a wobbly undertone, one of putting themself out for potential heartbreak.

“Hinamori, I…” He trails off as his throat constricts.

The snow dances around them, with not a single flake somehow touching her. Was it his own doing without realising? A silly thought, but one that he finds himself latching on to after such a proclamation from her.

If only she knew how wrong she was to think he would reject her. She deserves to know just how much she means to him, how much he come to love her, but he can’t get a single word past his trembling lips.

All this time, he had convinced himself she couldn’t feel the same way as he does. He believed he would harbor unrequited feelings for her, perhaps for as long as he lived, and he’d watch her find someone else. Someone who was as good, extroverted, and normal as she is. Someone who she could always smile and laugh with, who had no ties to the heartache she went through, and who would never let her feel the chill of winter. Someone she could grow old with without the knowledge of his shortened lifespan and maybe even have children with if they so desired.

She can't possibly want to be with him like that.

“Shiro-chan?”

His mouth and throat are dry and Momo is holding his upper arms, alarmed. Had he been hyperventilating or just breathing through his mouth?

“Y-You’ve gone pale," she stammers out.

He can only shake his head, trying to gain his bearings.

Her worry turns to pain. “What have I done?” Her hands fall limply to her sides. A shudder runs through him at seeing her impending heartbreak. “I’m so sorry, if I had known this would distress you, I never would've done this. I should never have said anything. I shouldn’t have --"

“No!” he exclaims as his own hands grab hold of her arms.

It startles her, and a tear slips from one of her widened eyes. “Wha…?”

“It’s not like that, stop.” He relaxes his grip on her, but doesn’t let go. He won’t make her cry, his doubts and fears be damned. Something roars to life within him, like a fire setting wood ablaze. It gives him an ounce of courage to finally speak his mind.

“It’s not what you think. When I wasn’t sure if this was a date or not, it’s only because I didn’t think you could…could --” He swallows thickly and bows his head. “-- that you could feel that way for me. Why do you feel that way towards me? I don’t understand.”

She lets out a quivering breath and sound. They’re both still for a beat, with only the wind tussling their hairs and clothes. Then, her arms jolt with a weak chuckle. He blinks, and raises his gaze, bewildered by the half smile she gives him.

She shakes her head disbelief. “You’ve always been like this.”

“What?”

“I wish you weren’t sometimes,” she continues on as if he hadn’t spoken, her gaze softening. “You see the good in others, but never in yourself.” Her voices wavers, on the verge of crying. “I wish you could see your value to those around you. I know you take a lot of pride in being a captain and in your work, but I wish it were the same in yourself. You’ve meant so much to me and many others, but I know that’s something only you can figure out.”

She raises her hands to claps his arms as another tear falls, this time for a completely different reason. “I don’t know entirely why my feelings for you changed, but I can think of a few reasons. I have always admired your work ethic, even if you work too hard sometimes. I know why you do though, because you deeply care for your division and want the best for everyone there.”

“And you you're kindness is something i have always liked about you. It's not often straight forward, it always takes on different forms, but I've seen it since we were younger. You've always been kind, whether it was finding a home for Aki, or protecting those who can't fight for themselves, or believing in me when I was at my lowest. To be on the receiving end of such kindness is a beautiful thing. You've been hurt so many times, but that kindness has never left you despite it all.

"You're strong, Hitsugaya-kun, you always have been."

Toshiro’s eyes burn with the threat of tears, but he holds them back. Trust her to say such things so openly, to show affection for him he never gave himself. Maybe, if lets her words in, deep enough o reach his core, he can start to believe her. That's for another day.

In the meantime, in a rare moment of physical affection, he gingerly holds the side of her head and brushes the trail of her tear away with his thumb. They can only stare at each other, registering a new emotion racing through them. One much like the bubble that had enveloped them earlier in the evening, warm and making a whole world for them.

He can feel for her without the pain of it. In a way, he's free.

It’s all so much, but also so simple. They feel the same about each other. They liked each other, more than friends.

Eventually, Momo ducks her head with a bemused huff. “This isn’t how I imagined this night going at all.”

Toshiro can’t help but let out a half-hearted snort. “Me neither.”

There’s something about the admission that makes a chuckle bubble up in his throat. He tries to suppress it, but when he senses Momo is trying to do the same, it falls from his lips. It’s a nervous and relieving one. Maybe the emotions had overwhelmed them, made them go mad, or maybe it was from how much both had worried about this night.

Eventually, they calm down. Momo smiles at him, but before he can do the same, she pulls him into a gentle hug. He’s slow to wrap his own arms around her, overwhelmed by how different this gesture now feels.

“Let’s take this slow,” she suggests. “One step at a time.”

“Yes,” he says as he pulls away. “I think that’d be best.”

The blush in her cheeks deepens. “I guess things will be different from now on, huh?”

“They don’t have to be.”

Her smile widens. “No, I guess not, but some things will be.” She looks back to the Junrinan. It's much later, and less lights are on. “We should head back.”

Without a second thought, he takes her hand. “I’ll walk you back.”

She blinks down at their joined hands. “Shiro-chan!”

“What?”

“Since when do you…?” She giggles. “That’s so unlike you.”

Heat rises up in his cheeks; even he can’t believe his own actions. He pulls his hand away. “It’s as you said, some things will be different from now on.”

She gasps and quickly snatches his hand back. “I didn’t realise it would be such a dramatic change!”

He only grumbles and tugs on her hand, signalling for them to get going. He tenses seeing a few souls still wondering the streets of the Junrinan, but relaxes a fraction when neither he or Momo recognise them. It dawns on him then something else they should discuss. “I may have a request.”

“What is it?”

His lips form a tight line before he speaks. “If we do go ahead with… this –” he raises their joined hands “— and we are going to take things slow, I don’t want Matsumoto to know just yet.”

Momo nods. “I was thinking the same.”

That surprises him.

“Why are you so shock?” she says. “I think we should see how this goes first before anyone knows, not just Rangiku-san.”

“Huh…I always thought you couldn’t wait to tell people when you were in a…a…” How can he not say it? He was in a relationship with Momo. The thought only made his blush brighter. Why was this making him even more flustered?

“A relationship?” Momo finishes with a knowing smirk.

He half-heartedly glares at her, which only makes her snort softly. “It’s good we’re going slow, it might take you a while to get used to saying that.”

He’s tempted to call her out at the way her smile wobbles from embarrassment and her blush spreads to the rest of her face.

“A-Anyway, I’m not like that," she continues. "I want to keep this quiet until we’re both ready to tell everyone. I’m glad we’re on the same page.” She shrugs. “How that looks in our day-to-day, I’m not sure.”

“We’ll discuss that tomorrow.”

She blinks at him.

“If you’re free after the day is done, I could come visit you.”

She grins. “Really? You usually work back.”

“Well, as you’ve pointed out, I could probably not stand to do that as much. We can meet at one of the joint training grounds after six pm.”

She bites her lip, clearly trying not to laugh again. “I’ll look forward to it then.”

Her smile in warm and wide, and he can't help but give a small one back in return as they walk back to the Seireitei.

Maybe one day they can look back on this and laugh – though he can only ever see himself cringing at his obliviousness. For now, he basks in the warmth of her hand and her presence, and in the nervous but hopeful jitters that rush through him at the unknown future with her.

[levis-coffeecup]

chapter 22| Lovesick

WC-3.9k

Summary

The underground is filthy and dark. Dim lights, dull alleys, and desperate hearts. A place Levi knows as well as the back of his hand, and a place he would do anything to get out of.

Chapters of life roll by and with the turn of a page, things drastically change. In front of him is the opportunity to live on the surface. And the flimsy bridge that he has to cross. From an uncivil criminal to a disciplined soldier.

But life on the surface seems tougher amidst all the mockery, civilities, and the gaping hole left in his heart, after the demise of his dear friends Isabel and Farlan.

Content/Warnings

canon- compliant, canon-typical violence, spoilers for No Regrets OVA, descriptions of PTSD, grief, depression, heavy angst and themes, strong language, self-hate, physical assault.

Author’s Note

Hi guysss!!!

I'm sorry it's been soo long. But the next chapter is finally out!!

It's similar to the Trost fair chapter, if anyone remembers... but the scene is rewritten. And scene 2 and 3 are completely different! Also, if you find any grammatical errors please comment about it to let me know!

Song for this chapter is Seneca by Novo Amor.

Chapters

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22

Masterlist | Playlist | Other Works

SEPT 847

The streets are muddy, the clouds are gray, and Levi shakes off the muck from his boots as he stands in front of Mae's door.It's been a minute since he's been knocking on her door, and still there's been no answer.

His lips pull into a frown. As much as he hates to admit this, he likes to be welcomed by her jumping into his arms.

His fingers slide down to his pocket, bringing out the spare keys to her home that he always keeps. And he opens the door.

The walls have been repainted yellow. She's knitted colorful pillow covers to keep on the settee. His favorite books are all stacked on the shelf. And the kitchen is always stocked with all kinds of tea.

His gaze turns soft as he takes it all in. Mae has taken her sweet time to make her house theirs.

He climbs up the stairs, making his way to the bedroom.

The curtains are drawn close. And Mae sits on the bed, huddled in a thick blanket. Her face is almost red, and her eyes are dull, clearly unwell. The sight makes Levi freeze at the door frame.

"I knew it was you...," Mae beams with pride, her voice scratchy. "I could tell by your footsteps."

Her forehead is burning up, and it hurts to smile through the pain. But she's so ecstatic to see Levi, she can't help herself. "I want a kiss." Her lips shift into a cheeky grin, and she stretches her arms forward, towards him.

And Levi leans on the doorframe, meters away from her. Unsure of what to feel.

They've only kissed a few times before. But the thought still knocks the wind right out of his lungs.

"N-no, you are sick. Stay away from me." He somehow manages.

"Humanity's strongest can handle a little fever, can't he?" She teases.

"Tch.. y-you're so gross." He pivots and walks away. Only to come around a minute later. With his hands cleaned, and his clothes fresh.

"You're burning up." He scolds as he keeps her hand on her forehead. "How the hell did you end up like this?"

"The weather change-" she coughs.

"Ssh," he silences her off. "Don't talk, your voice is almost gone."

He goes back down again and comes up with some water in a bowl and a clean napkin. "How many times have I told you to not be so careless," His voice is almost angry, but Mae doesn't miss the concern woven in it. "And why didn't you write to me and let me know that you were unwell?"

The tray is set down on the nightstand. And he drags the chair from her work desk, to sit next to her.

"It's just been two days, and a letter takes a week to reach... I'm sure I would have been fine by then."

"Tch," Levi frowns. He dips the napkin into the bowl of water. Squeezing it out and putting it on her forehead. It's cooling, and Mae shuts her eyes close. Warmed by his love.

"Should I call a doctor?" He suggests, a few minutes later.

"Levi! I am a doctor..." she retorts.

"Well congratulations then Ms. Doctor, for falling ill." He grumbles, pissed. The space between his brows is crinkled, and he seems incredibly focused keeping a wet cloth on her forehead.

The relentlessness in his actions gives away his stress.

And Mae doesn't understand why he's getting so paranoid over this. It's a simple fever, that's all, nothing she hasn't had before.

It takes her a minute to realize that his mother died of sickness, too. And perhaps what is making him act this way are the wounds that have been left long forgotten.

Her face softens, and she places her hand over his lap.

"Take a breath Levi. I'm not going anywhere, anytime soon." Her hand lands on his, she gently squeezes it in reassurance.

And Levi's icy blue eyes widen for a millisecond, before he catches himself. Then he grunts, pressing his lips into an unamused line.

"Try to sleep, instead of staring at me," grumbles. He grabs her shoulders as he helps her lay on her back. Then he tucks her in the blanket, for good measure

"You're not mad that I'm unwell, right? I know you're here to take a break... but I don't have anything prepared as I was sick yesterday too..."

"No shithead, why would I be?" he questions, as he blinks at her. There are words buried in his lips that are hesitant to come out. But somewhere down the line, he knows they'll make her feel better.

"I," his voice trails off. "I-I'm glad t-that I'm here and you're not alone, having to take care of yourself."

And Mae's eyes light up. She's blessed indeed, to have someone as wonderful as him next to her.

Her fingers interlock with his, as he sits on the bed, next to her.

"Baby," she sighs. Tempted to bring his hand to her lips and peck it.

"Tch, is that your way of calling me short," Levi's face turns serious all of a sudden, and he raises a brow.

"What noo!" she exclaims, "Raz found herself a guy, and he calls her baby."

"That's such an uncommon thing to call your partner, is he a pedophile or something?"

Laughter escapes past Mae's throat at that. Trust Levi to make the cutest things dark. And then she starts coughing.

He turns her to the side, and starts rubbing her back.

"But isn't it cute." she pouts.

"Tch," Levi clicks his tongue in disdain.

"But Leviii, " Mae huffs, her brown eyes sparkle playfully. " I don't want to be 'brat' anymore, I want to be 'baby'."

"Well unfortunately for me you are a brat and a whiny baby as well." Levi smirks.

"I knew you weren't going to give in to this, which is why I'll find cute nicknames for you instead!"

She ponders for a minute.

"Sweet cake?"

He frowns.

"Okay Mr.Frown Face, how about buttercup then?"

"You're horrible at this" he blinks.

Thunder cackles and raindrops run down the window like tiny rivers. The overcast sky dims the room further. The sound of rain fills up the space, but the dreary weather doesn't dull the mood.

And when Levi places the napkin on Mae's forehead again, her heart races.

"Cupcake?"

"Ew."

"Pudding?"

"Not at all."

"Sugar Plum."

"Mae," Levi sighs, exasperated and partially embarrassed. "I'm an army officer who has killed hundreds of titans with ease. I'm Humanity's Strongest for god sake!"

And Mae sports a toothy, teasing smile. Fully knowing she's the only one who can get away with this. "But... but you were Humanity's Cutest before you were Humanity's Strongest."

And Levi looks back at her. Turning pink and ridden speechless.

"Okay how about pumpkin pie then?"

"I'm not the menu card of the bakery you dream of opening in the future."

"But all my desserts will be inspired by you and you only."

And Levi tries his best to act annoyed. But she has flustered him too much now, much against his own wishes.

He decides that someday if they ever end up having kids, he'll never let Mae name them.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

Sunlight slips past the narrow gaps in the curtains, making the dim room a tad bit bright. The morning sun rises past the trees, making the world get up from its slumber.

And the first thing Mae sees when her eyes open is Levi.

He's on the chair next to her, fanning her body.

Sitting exactly where he was, before she drifted to sleep.

And slowly the clogs in her brain start spinning.

"Levi," she gasps, almost horrified. "Did you not sleep at all?"

"I'm alright..." he mutters, but there's a softness in his gaze. "You're doing so much better now, I guess the wet cloth helped."

Surprisingly, he's not grumpy after not sleeping the entire night. Instead there's a tiny smile playing on his lips. He's happy she's gotten better.

"If you're feeling good, I'll do the other chores then." He says after a few minutes.

And Mae sits up at that, propping herself on her elbows. "I'll help too, my fever is almost gone-"

"No, you rest," he shushes her off by keeping his hand on her forehead. "Take it easy today."

And truly, Levi doesn't let her lift a finger.

He mops the floor. Cleans the cobwebs on the ceilings. Dusts the shelves.

And Mae watches, stuck to her bed.

Now he's sitting on the carpet, with his back to her. Folding all the freshly laundered clothes.

Guilt gnaws at the bottom of her stomach. He's stepping out for a mission the day after tomorrow. And yet she's making him work so much.

It's him who deserves rest, not her.

"I'm sorry for making you do all of this." her voice comes out timid. Still hoarse from the cough that has accumulated in her throat .

His actions pause, and he thinks for a moment, before answering. "Actually I like it... Makes me think of the type of life we would have if the titans didn't exist...Just the two of us, living together."

And Mae doesn't see the smile on his face as he stares down at the pile of clothes. She thinks it lies he's spouting to make her feel better. After all, who likes doing household chores... she hates them for sure.

And so she gets up from her bed, determined to help. But the mirror attached to the adjacent wall makes her stop in her tracks.

A frown forms as she catches her reflection in the mirror.

Her hair is oily and matted against her scalp. And she's not as toned as Levi in any way. Her thighs touch and her belly is not flat. Insecurities crawl underneath her skin.

"Why don't you date someone like Petra?" She asks, thinking out loud.

"Mae." Levi swivels around to see her. "She's not even an adult. How could you think something like that?" He speaks distastefully.

"But she'll grow up, you know... She's pretty, she's strong, and she's got a good body for sure."

Moisture wells up in her eyes. It's not just the guilt of him doing all the chores, it's something that has been troubling her for long.

And Levi sits baffled. He has no idea where this is coming from.

"It's so hard Levi... dating long distance," she sniffs. Her gaze still doesn't come off from the mirror in front of her. As she stands, so obsessed with finding faults in her. "You would be better off dating someone who's in the Corps. That way they'll at least be there for you when you need them, they can help you with all your work, and every message won't take a week to get delivered."

And Levi is on his feet in an instant. His arms reach out to her, and he pulls her into a hug

"Is it becoming too hard for you? Do you want to end it?" he whispers, masking his own heartbreak at the thought.

"It's hard," she ruminates. "But that's not the problem... The problem is that you deserve better." Her voice breaks, and another tear slips past her eye.

Because she sees all the women in town gawk about Humanity's Strongest and how attractive he must be. And she sees all the children that find their hero in him. She's nothing in comparison.

And one day she does hope to be slightly successful. With her own clinic, and a few regular patients. But for now she's just some doctor at a hospital in town. And her dreams seem so far-fetched.

"Look at me Levi... I'm not the best doctor, I'm not the smartest, and I'm not the prettiest... And you're Humanity's Strongest... Don't you see it? You can do so much better than me."

Their gaze meets in the mirror. And Levi stands stumped as he sees how moist her have turned moist.

He's never compared her with any other person he's met.

"But don't you see it?" He questions as if he's stating out the obvious. "You're the closest thing I have to normalcy." And normal sounds so wonderful to him. She doesn't have to be any more capable, or beautiful, she just has to be.

Of course there must be people who are better than her in many ways. But comfort, warmth, home, these are all words he only attaches to her.

His finger reaches below her chin, and he turns her face away from the mirror. Making her look at him. "You're more than your looks Mae, and you're more than your career... I hope you know that."

And she closes her eyes, as he presses a kiss on the top of her head.

"C-can I sit next to you while you fold those clothes?"

"Yes."

"I-I thought y-you were mad at me":

"Why would I be mad, silly?" He says as he ruffles her hair, making it a bigger mess.

"Don't let such crappy thoughts stuff up your head." He flicks her forehead. The next morning Mae wakes up feeling much better. Her throat still feels sore, and a mild headache still troubles . But there is peace in her heart and Levi in her arms.

That's all that matters.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

The night is young, and Mae and Levi have returned back home from their impromptu dinner date.

The curtains are drawn shut. The hearth is warm, cackling with fire. And Mae sits on the bed, changed into something more comfortable.

She was feeling better, and she really wanted to treat Levi to a good meal, before he leaves tomorrow morning.

Next to her bed is the sketch of her and Levi that she got at the Trost Fair. With her smile so big, it makes her eyes squint. Levi obviously sits with his poker face, and his arms crossed in front of him. But Mae loves the way the painter has colored his cheeks and the tips of his ear, slightly red.

A few minutes pass by, and the gears of the bathroom door shift into place.

The door is nudged open, and Levi slips inside. Fresh from his bath. With his inky wet hair clinging on to his face, and pearls of water still dripping down them.

Mae places the sketch in her hands, on the nightstand and withdraws a bottle of essential oil from the drawer. She raises a brow, slightly shaking the bottle as she gestures to levi.

And Levi feigns a sigh as he ambles over to her, and sits in front of her. With his back to her chest, and his butt positioned in between her legs.

She takes the towel that rests on his shoulder, and gently rubs it on his head. To dry his hair that is still dripping wet.

Mae likes to do all these small things for him, from buttoning the shirt he wears to tying the cravat around his neck. It makes her happy. Like she's being of some help to him.

"Are you using all the oils and seasonings I gave you?" She asks as she tosses the towel aside, and picks up the bottle of oil kept on her nightstand.

She pours some of the essential oil onto her palms Then she slides her oil-slathered fingers through his hair strands

"I try to," Levi mumbles, and his eyes flutter close, as he feels her fingers work their way through his scalp. "Tch, my hair is greasy again now... I hate this so much."

"Levi this is expensive, and Lavender really helps in aiding sleep, so you better shut up and follow the routine I have set for you." She speaks with seriousness. "And you take a shower like 5 times a day anyways."

And Levi knows the only say he has in this matter, is to complain, and then comply. So he closes his eyes, and enjoys the sensation of her fingers running through his hair.

And Mae feels sentimental too. She wants to make time pause.

Because when the sun rises tomorrow morning, Levi will be far away from her. Outside the walls. It's a feeling that she's still not used to. Of not knowing whether this moment she's spending with him will be their last together.

"Levi..." she calls out. "You remember the day when you became Humanity's Strongest... back when I was working in the Survey Corps? ... You came back injured and I was treating you."

Levi hums, in correspondence.

"That day Petra told me, that you fight as if you have nothing to lose.... But now that we're together. Does that change anything? Does that mean that you have something you are scared to lose?"

The question renders Levi quiet for some minutes. Or maybe it's that he knows the answer fully well, but he is just hesitant.

He drums his fingers on to his chin, and after some serious contemplation, he finally answers."You are i-important to me Mae, but you aren't more important than humanity... And I do have something to lose now, but I can't let that change the way I fight.. Because if I start fighting like a person who is scared to lose what he has, then humanity might lose as well, and that is something that everyone fears."

It's the bitter truth, the pill that's hard to swallow. She's fallen in love with a man, who will always keep his duties first.

She slides her arms around his chest, and pulls him closer. His back presses her chest, and she rests her chin on his shoulder. "That's the right decision. After all, I'm just a person."

Her fingers graze across his bare chest, caressing all the scars his battles have given him. The moment is delicate yet heavy with emotions.

And Mae decides that it's time to release the feelings that have consumed her heart since forever.

"I love you Levi." The words are tender, like a kiss on his nape.

He doesn't have to say it back.

He doesn't even have to turn his head and look at her.

Because love is the softness in his eyes when he looks at her. And the sweetness in his emotions when he comes home to her.

And Levi closes his eyes as he relishes the moment. It feels safe here in her arms, like no force in this world can harm him. And for once he doesn't hide the red that settles on his cheek.

"Thank you..." he speaks with a certain heaviness.And a sigh escapes his mouth, as he realizes that his weekend getaway is close to an end. Just a few hours from now he'll be outside the walls

Sometimes he fantasizes about what it would be like if he wasn't in the Survey Corps. Just him and her, living their life as a simple couple.

To divide all the household chores, and cook meals together. To go on dates on the weekend, and to bicker like a couple. Marry her, after a few years and maybe have little versions of him and her run around the house.

It's a far fetched dream, but Levi can't help but indulge in the thought for a couple of minutes.

The Survey Corps, the title of Humanity's Strongest, and the titans outside the walls. He wants to run away from it all. He's strong and no one would be able to track him down.

But the guilt in his mind would haunt him forever.

And it's indeed a curse that such exceptional strength and skill lands on his shoulders. And he wields the responsibilities as Humanity's Strongest soldier. He can't let all the people that look up to him down.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

The weather is dreary today. Heavy gray clouds loom over the sky, like a blanket. And occasional drops of rain fall to the ground. In a light drizzle.

Not many people line the streets, but there's still a small crowd. And they watch wide eyed, as the Survey Corps trot with their horses. Dawned in their olive capes.

Mae stands in the crowd as well, lost . Her height doesn't help much at all. And she tries balancing on her toes, tipping left and right, in the push of the crowd.

"ERWIN DANCHOU, WIN BACK WHAT HUMANITY HAS LOST." Loud cheers erupt.

"LEVI HEICHOU KILL ALL THE TITANS FOR US." The crowd raves, and Mae stands on the sidelines.

Moisture settles in the corner of her eyes as she looks at him longingly.

How can she ask him to not go when everyone is counting on him?

How can she ask him to stop, when he is leaving to serve all of humanity?

She thought this would get easier as the time passed by, but nope.

It's a feeling she still hasn't gotten used to.

Fleetingly, his eyes meet hers. He sees the way they glow, heavy with tears and the way her lips tremble. His gaze softens, almost caressing her with the way he's looking.

He flashes her a small smile, his gaze flickering to the gate and then back to her. To anyone, the action is hardly noticeable, but Mae gets his message loud and clear.

Let me go, will you? He says to her.

The tear caged in her eye falls freely. Her hand flies up and she bears a shaky smile as she waves at him.

The moment is short-lived but etched forever in his heart.

This chapter may feel like a filler chapter, but I just wanted to talk about how Levi and Mae's relationship is now that they are long distance. And how they are in a relationship as well (before I start getting to the actual AOT plot lol)

It's been a few months now, so Levi is more comfortable initiating physical touch.

I hope their character growth is noticeable, because it isn;t really obvious.

Mae says I love you but doesn't expect it back, and Levi doesn't say it back. That's something that would have crushed Chapter 18 Mae. But now Mae feels secure.

Its kind of rushed but Levi and Mae have grown, understanding each others imperfections better. Mae is more secure, she doesn't need Levi reminding her that he needs her again and again, because she sees his effort

And Levi too is trying to communicate his feelings even though they make him feel weak and vulnerable. (Him saying he's glad he's here). And he's trying to be sweeter when Mae needs sweetness (telling Mae that she's more than her looks and her career).

Let me know your views on the chapter!

As always constructive criticism is also welcomed!

To all the people who keep up with this fic despite all the irregular and late uploads, I am very very grateful to have you! &lt;3

I will see you again with the next chapter! And HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Taglist: @keijikunn @evas-leslas @leviackermanmyhero245 (message me if you want to be added)

[anyhs-themes]

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[negobeauriva]

A deep analysis of Konstrakta's "Novo, Bolje"

I know that there are maybe many articles about this song already, considering it came out a week ago or so, but I am so in love with both the song and Konstrakta herself that I needed to put my two cents on this song and why I think it's such an awesome entry. I'm also going to make a comparison to In Corpore Sano and relate both of the songs. I hope you'll enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Btw, I've gotten the necessary translations from here and here.

Let's start out with the title: Novo, Bolje means New, Better. It's already an indicator that sets the pace for what is coming.

Musically, the song is quite simple - It has only three chords that keep repeating in an uniform pattern, with a distinctive synthesizer that repeats itelf throughout the song as well. It's fast paced and eclectic, very modern, to fit the theme of the lyrics. It's worth noting that the backup singers are taking a very important function here. I'll explain it later on.

Now, let's get to the lyrics. Through the entirety of the song, Konstrakta is speaking to an imaginary doctor, to which she's telling of her latest affliction: She craves novelty. She only wants new things, new improvements, nothing seems to be enough for her, and she considers this as something wrong, something to be cured. This is about addiction to novelty and consummerism - modernity has made us addicted to updates, the newest phone, the newest device, the newest social media, every new thing is exciting and we eventually run for it.

The chorus is proof of it: New, better, faster, bigger, higher, prettier, stronger. The things she has aren't somehow enough, and she claims that all of this is coming. She wants something better than good. Good isn't cutting it anymore. It needs to be better.

Konstrakta proceeds to elaborate on her point saying that if she was smarter, she could turn a kilo of bread into two, and that ever since she was born, she has been knowing about better than good, which is another jab at modernity: New generations are addicted to new things since they are little. Let's think back, how many of us in our childhoods wished for better, bigger toys or electronic devices? It's an actual reality. And with the rise of phones, tablets and similar devices in infancies, this is more present than ever.

This also speaks about self-pressure about being better than good, the line "the performance could've been better" is a reference to our modern perfectionism, and the wish to reach even higher heights everytime, with innovations that sometimes aren't necessary. Why would the Pacific ocean need to be more pacific, anyway? The grandiosity and the exaggeration are marketing elements to draw you in, to try and show you that you can, indeed, be better than good. It's exploitation disguised as motivation and self help.

Then she says that she feels set up everywhere, because she is seeing anomalies, which is another point. Consummerism is a social issue, but if you point it out in a consummerist society, you're most likely to get laughed at or gaslighted in the sense that you're not being brainwashed by the consummerism. Which leads us to the next line, Konstrakta asks the doctor what's wrong with her, why is she seeing anomalies everywhere? Why is she addicted to novelty and perfection? She's trying to break the cycle of self-awareness, and at the same time, she wants her head to shut up about the pressure of novelty and perfectionism. She might believe nobody else is going through this, which is, ironically, an anomaly on itself.

When she sings the word "better" over and over again, it eventually gets distorted by the end of the phrase, which shows us that she's losing herself. In trying so hard to reach better, to improve, she's losing and destroying pieces of herself to try and build something new. The backup singers are repeating the other adjectives: better, faster, bigger, higher, prettier, stronger. Another proof that her head presses her further than she can actually reach.

In a more calm section of the song, she says that everything is fluid, and if she stops, she'll fall through, stating that she needs to constantly go full speed, up, towards higher heights. This is very telling. At the beginning of the section, the music gets calmer, almost quiet, but as Konstrakta starts repeating the words "going up, constantly going up", the synthetizers and the fast pace are back again, supporting her claim and her "illness" - the need for speed, novelty, perfection. Nothing is enough. Nothing will ever be enough. Konstrakta is trapped on a cycle of perfectionism and addiction to novelty. In trying to break the cycle, she's perpetuating it at the same time. It's a vicious cycle from where she can't escape.

When Konstrakta asks again what's wrong with her, this time she doesn't even get to explain what affects her. Here is where the backup singers reveal their real role: They are the voice of society. While Konstrakta tries to figure herself out, the singers appear to reinforce her need for novelty, the need for something new coming, the thought that nothing is never and will never be enough. And in this final section of the song, they shut Konstrakta up: "For God's sake, there's nothing wrong with you". They're gaslighting Konstrakta into thinking it's all in her head, and that she needs to keep striving for more.

During the final section of the song, the singers chant, almost like madness, that it's coming. Novelty and progress are coming, and nobody, not even Konstrakta herself, can stop it. While all of this is happening, she screams, calls out for the doctor to help her, but she receives no help - she's being consumed by the spiral. She's being dragged by the tsunami of society, the fast paace of consummerism devouring her as she screams in agony. And then, she says the most beautiful phrase I've seen in a song in a while:

"The wish doesn't know about what is unreachable."

We can strive and wish for perfection all we want, but wanting something and being realistic about it are two completely different things. We can try to reach the moon, but we are too far to actually do it. And in our search for perfection, not only can we lose ourselves, but we can go to dangerous heights: Security breaches, the end of individual liberties, violence, stepping over people's heads to get whatever we want, however we want. The wish doesn't know what's unreacheable. Therefore, there are no limits to modernity. This is a hurricane, and it's going to destroy us all.

There is no escaping this. Which is why she closes by saying "it's coming" - Modernity is coming. We can't do anything to stop it.

Now, let me compare this masterpiece to her former Eurovision entry, In Corpore Sano.

It's curious to notice that both songs have the same length. In Corpore Sano, in case you need a reminder, speaks about how an artist must keep themselves healthy, appreciating our health and the moments in which we have it, to be thankful for being healthy and our body properly functioning. It's a jab at the Serbian medical system for it's negiglence with artists and the lack of medical insurance for them, also stating how health is a privilege, citing Meghan Markle's hair as an example to kick off the song and start speaking about hydration and health problems and how to identify them.

A healthy mind in a healthy body, a sick mind, a scared mind... Where do we go from this?

This song is more ominous, and the beautiful staging was also very ominous, setting the atmosphere for Konstrakta to become an advocate for Serbian artists and their health system. Art and social criticism, hand in hand.

Both In Corpore Sano and Novo, Bolje speak about health, one being physical, the other being mental. In the case of In Corpore Sano, the background singers don't take as big of a role as they do in Novo, Bolje, and when they do, they reinforce Konstrakta's message, instead of being dismissive about it or trying to shut it down. Both the songs are written in minor keys and are limited to a couple chords, keeping it simple.

In Corpore Sano is slower paced, as if trying to get people to understand the point. We also get a hint of grief - Konstrakta lost her bandmate and friend Miroslav Ničić to leukemia in 2019, which inspired this song to come to fruition. Novo, Bolje, is faster paced, showing us the chaos and the need to rush that the song tried to criticize, and it's repetitive, highly repetitive, to catch people in. The catchy tune is meant to make you forget the point of the song, showcasing how tone deaf society can be sometimes.

At the same time, In Corpore Sano has a hint of divinity. God grants us health, but I don't have medical insurance. Latin has always been a language related to holiness, to purity. Novo, Bolje, has no divinity to it, it's quite banal, vulgar if we try to compare it to Latin - in the Middle Ages, any language that wasn't Latin was called vulgar, meaning "of the people". This song is nowhere near God. Our society has killed God, and has gone beyond divinity. Holy Modernity, mother of our Society, has taken over.

In Corpore Sano is meant to be a ritual song in all of its aspects - we see Konstrakta moving and clapping her hands, cleaning them ritually with her backup singers as assistants, overseeing the process as if to take care of her. They are dressed in black, Konstrakta in white, showing herself as a pure, healthy being, trying to teach others about health and how to keep it. We haven't seen anything about Novo, Bolje's staging, but the concept Konstrakta has shown with her in blue skin and an eccentric white attire, with the caption "The Kilimanjaro could be higher" (a brilliant reference), is meant to scandalize, to be weird, to make you think about the absurdity of things. Again, there is no holiness, no ritualism, nothing. It's banal. It's empty. And that banality, along with the message, is what makes this whole concept beautiful on itself. It's what makes it so brilliant and so well crafted.

I hope you've made it so far and that you have liked this analysis. In short, Konstrakta is a genius, a musical and lyrical genius, and I can't wait to see her again setting foot on Eurovision's stage. I hope this helps you look at her song with new eyes.

She's definetely gotten newer and better.

---

I'm adding a new section of this analysis, to further it, now that Novo, Bolje's staging has been revealed.

First off, I want to thank every single one of you who gave support to the original version of the analysis, from the fans, to people from Serbia, to Konstrakta herself! I'm super honored to have been shared and promoted by her. It feels amazing.

Now, onto what's important: The staging.

Many people have put criticism on the fact that "this is just the same as last time", but they fail to perceive this is the exact message Konstrakta wants to get across. Modernity promises new, better, bigger, stronger, faster, prettier... But in the end most of the things that it produces are the same that they were before. Many new phones end up being the exact same as old models, but with a very small improvement, sometimes hard to see. This is the reason why Novo, Bolje is so similar to it's eldest sister, In Corpore Sano. A sequel that doesn't feel as much as a sequel, and in there resides its charm.

I've also been pointed out to the fact that this is supposed to be a satire against returning artists and their efforts to make something "new, better", and I really like that approach. It's a very interesting artistic satire.

Konstrakta is once again dressed in white, and her singers in black - A contrast between divinity and evil. But this also reinforces the fact that she is the "odd one out", she's questioning modernity, she's the one going against the norm. She's different from everyone around her. The fact that we can't ever see the "doctor" she's referring to, also helps reinforce this message. This will come back later, so keep it in mind.

This time around, she is not washing her hands, but instead making bread. Bread has many symbolisms, but in religion, bread symbolizes the gift to God to humankind - a stark contrast to a godless modernity, as stated prior in this analysis. Bread is the most basic of meals, and one of the easiest to put together, it's universal, every culture has its own version of bread. Just like modernity, universal, basic, stripped out of all value when you truly look into it. Bread is one of humanity's turning points. Modernity is, too, one of humanity's turning points. The creation of the Internet, the introduction of cellphones and computers, the invention of social media, didn't they all change humanity as we know it, just like bread did? Also, just like bread, these novelties are "food" - a basic need, something we can't live without now that we have discovered it.

Interestingly enough, the words "Not new, not better" flash around the first minutes of the song. This "episode" is so similar to the past one, it seems to contradict its title, but then again, therein lies its charm.

In the background, we always see eyes on the sides of the stage. "Big brother is watching you" - rings a bell? Modernity has its eyes everywhere. You are constantly being watched, you have to keep on track, not question anything and just lift your head and pretend everything is normal.

Konstrakta is constantly kneading the dough, never do we see her putting it into the oven - this can also make a reference to the "it's coming" line of her song. The bread is coming, it's supposed to come out soon, just as novelty is coming. Evo sa'ce, how the song would say. Inbetween, Konstrakta lets the dough rest, covered. Anyone who's made bread or seen a bread recipe, know that this is so the dough rises up. Just like a further section of the song, rising up, constantly up. If we tie this to the political meaning I've seen people add to the song, this could also double up as the gestation of an uprising against politicians, or even the fake promises they make.

During the first part, her backup singers are huddled in a corner, and from there they scream at her "it's not enough". This is a perfect parallel to what I put in the first half of the analysis, about self-pressure, perfectionism and how they play a big part on modernity's declining mental health crisis.

In one part, Konstrakta uncovers the dough and just stares at it, along with her backup singers. They all stay there, perfectly still, like Mary watching Jesus in many religious imagery. They stay so still one wonders if something's really happening. As this section ends, a gate opens behind her as she adresses the "doctor", showing a white glow. This is the only time we get that the "doctor" is not really there, it's more like a self-reflection device. And this, once again, symbolizes the divinity amongst the profanity. Holy Modernity, mother of society. Once this happens, Konstrakta goes back to kneeading the bread. It's in the part where she talks about the need to go constantly up, putting up self-pressure and the anxiety of not being perceived as a perfect, functioning piece of society. It's a brilliant parallel.

As that section goes on, we can see one of her backup singers wave their white cloth around. The others stay perfectly still. This is also a symbolism of being the odd one out, how the one that's anxious and constantly on the grind is also frowned upon in some sense.

After the section where the singers tell Konstrakta to calm down, they start circling her while she keeps up her work. It becomes erratic and chaotic, just exactly as I had pictured in my head. Ultimately, Konstrakta is left alone on stage. Covering the dough once more, she claims "it's coming". The bread is coming. Modernity is coming. "Food" is coming.

I'm once again fascinated, throughly fascinated and thrilled by this woman's thought process. As I write this, I got the news she made it into the final! I'm so happy for her. March 3rd, I turn 26 years old. And it'd be the greatest early gift to see her win.

This was, indeed, new, better, and brilliant.

[dollcherray]

AI MEU DEUS EU AMEI SEU NOVO TEMA!

OMG I LOVE YOUR NEW THEME!

AAAAA BRIGADA MEU ANJO!!

AAAAA THANK YOU ANGEL!

[theforbiddeneden]

TEETH OF GOD US TOUR(30/04/2024): INTERLÚDIOS

The Interludes of Teeth Of God seem to explore themes of mortality, transcendence, and the nature of truth and existence. According to Heidegger, he argues that death is an inevitable possibility that shapes the totality of human existence. He speaks of "Being-towards-Death," meaning that the awareness of one's own mortality is essential for an authentic existence. The interludes explore the constant presence of death in human life and suggest that this awareness of mortality can lead to a deeper understanding of existence. Heidegger emphasizes the importance of temporality in human experience, arguing that we are temporal beings who exist in time and for time. The interludes reflect on the temporality of human life, especially in relation to finitude and transitoriness.

Os Interlúdios de Teeth Of God parecem explorar temas de mortalidade, transcendência e a natureza da verdade e da existência. Segundo Heidegger, argumenta que a morte é uma possibilidade inevitável que dá forma à totalidade da existência humana. Ele fala sobre o "Ser-para-a-Morte", significando que a consciência da própria mortalidade é essencial para uma existência autêntica. Os interlúdios exploram a presença constante da morte na vida humana e sugerem que essa consciência da mortalidade pode levar a uma compreensão mais profunda da existência. Heidegger enfatiza a importância da temporalidade na experiência humana, argumentando que somos seres temporais que existem no tempo e para o tempo. Os interlúdios refletem sobre a temporalidade da vida humana, especialmente em relação à finitude e à transitoriedade.

INTERLÚDIO I:

To me it seems there must be something on the other side we're all told the truth is merely a conclusion that can be derived from some observable phenomena.

Parece para mim que deve haver algo do outro lado, todos nos dizem que a verdade é meramente uma conclusão que pode ser derivada de alguns fenômenos observáveis.

We forget that truth is a tool; it is the hook upon which we hang our deeds and the bed from which we rise each day

Nós esquecemos que a verdade é uma ferramenta, é o gancho no qual penduramos nossas ações e a cama da qual nos levantamos a cada dia.

To assume that death is the end is to assume that our being extends no further than the physical substrate that carries us

Assumir que a morte é o fim é assumir que nosso ser não se estende além do substrato físico que nos carrega.

This assumption does not account for the world in which we experience being alive

Essa suposição não leva em conta o mundo no qual experimentamos estar vivos.

Nor does it sit comfortably aside the fact that we are not yet able to comprehend the way in which our being manifests itself from the flesh and bone that binds us

Nem se encaixa confortavelmente ao lado do fato de que ainda não somos capazes de compreender a maneira pela qual nosso ser se manifesta a partir da carne e do osso que nos prende.

I believe that those gaps in our understanding are still wide enough to cast doubt in such conclusions

Eu acredito que essas lacunas em nosso entendimento ainda são amplas o suficiente para lançar dúvidas sobre tais conclusões.

I believe that those gaps are yet wide enough for our souls to fit through

Eu acredito que essas lacunas ainda são amplas o suficiente para que nossas almas possam passar por elas.

And drift onwards into some new realm

E seguir adiante para algum novo reino.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

INTERLÚDIO II:

To argue the existence of anything beyond death is to reject the idea of death itself

Argumentar a existência de algo além da morte é rejeitar a ideia da própria morte

Death is not the opening of some eternal goal

A morte não é a abertura de algum objetivo eterno

Death does not confer transcendence of any kind

A morte não confere transcendência de qualquer tipo

To make such assertions is to act as though you do not know death

Fazer tais afirmações é agir como se você não conhecesse a morte

As though we do not spend our lives trying to drag forth some semblance of meaning from beneath death's thick, dark shadow

Como se não passássemos nossas vidas tentando extrair algum semblante de significado de sob a espessa e escura sombra da morte

As though we have not also inflicted it, no less than we sometimes revel in it

Como se nós também não a infligíssemos, não menos do que às vezes nos regozijamos nela

It is only the certainty of death that provides us with the darkness against which we all glow

É apenas a certeza da morte que nos proporciona a escuridão contra a qual todos nós brilhamos

Defiably, life without death knows no form, no boundary without death and our finite nature, we will be stripped of all meaning

Definidamente, a vida sem morte não conhece forma, nem limite sem morte e nossa natureza finita, seríamos despojados de todo significado

Left to wander as little more than endlessly, rotating gears in the choir of tension of a cold hell

Deixados a vagar como pouco mais do que engrenagens girando interminavelmente no coro da tensão de um inferno frio

But we do not die, because it gives our lives meaning

Mas nós não morremos, porque isso dá significado às nossas vidas

We die because this is the way of all the things

Nós morremos porque esse é o destino de todas as coisas

And in the end, is that not all we are?

E no final, não é isso tudo o que somos?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

INTERLÚDIO III:

It is not simply some kind of existential threshold we all are fated to cross

Não é simplesmente algum tipo de limiar existencial ao qual todos estamos fadados a atravessar

It is far more than these small notions

É muito mais do que essas pequenas noções

One does not need to look as far as the end of their own life to be confounded with the unknowable

Não é necessário olhar até o fim de sua própria vida para ser confrontado com o indescritível

One does not even need to look that far to be confronted with death

Não é necessário nem mesmo olhar tão longe para ser confrontado com a morte

Look around you

Olhe ao seu redor

About what can you truly be certain

Sobre o que você realmente pode ter certeza

Death is a color

A morte é uma cor

It soaks a part of every canvas

Ela impregna uma parte de cada tela

Death is a fabric

A morte é um tecido

It can clothe the living

Ela pode vestir os vivos

Death is merely another weapon we all define a great adversary

A morte é meramente outra arma que todos nós definimos como um grande adversário

Another cadence in this terribly and beautiful symphony listening to, helplessly

Outra cadência nesta terrível e bela sinfonia que ouvimos, impotentes

Let it bring me hope in one hand and fear in the other

Deixe que me traga esperança em uma mão e medo na outra

It is asking you to dance with death after all

Afinal, está pedindo a você para dançar com a morte

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

SETLIST:

TNDNBTG - the Night Does Not Belong To God

The Offering

Dark Signs

Higher

Interlúdio I

Atlantic

Hypnosis

Like That

Alkaline

Missing Limbs

Interlúdio II

Chokehold

The summoning

Granite

Rain

Ascensionism

Interlúdio III

TMBTE - Take Me Back To Eden

Euclid

Fontes:

Sleep Token - Teeth of God Tour - April 30 2024 - Arizona Financial Theatre, Phoenix, AZ

O que é o existencialismo - três características fundamentais

Em Camus, revolta é resposta para absurdo da condição humana

[claricelispctor]

como se adaptar ao novo editor de reblogs e porque você deveria usar o editor beta.

a questão de editar replies no tumblr tem sido uma dor de cabeça pra maioria dos players que ficaram um tempo sem jogar roleplay e voltaram pra cá, e até mesmo os antigos devem saber as razões de se adaptar ao novo editor para ajudarmos uns aos outros uma vez que a opção antiga não é válida para todos, especialmente contas novas, ou não aparece mesmo com a extensão xkit. por isso, trouxe esse guia pra que vocês possam de ‘conscientizar’ do que é o melhor no momento para manter uma dash limpa e melhorada para todos jogarem tranquilos!

parte i: o que é o editor de posts beta.

o próprio tumblr já deu essa resposta e aqui vocês encontram as novas informações do formato de post. essa é a melhor maneira de entender o que mudou, como e porque.

parte ii: por que não funciona o xkit pra alguns e nem a versão antiga?

a dúvida que mais tira o sono de quem ama deixar as replies aesthetic para combinar com o blog. em primeiro lugar, desapeguem desse gosto. sei que vocês adoram adaptar do jeito de vocês, mas é hora de encarar a realidade: está difícil e logo menos não terá como mesmo fazer essa edição.

não temos uma resposta, mas meu melhor palpite é que o tumblr quer mesmo forçar todo mundo a usar as novas ferramentas deles. contas novas são as mais afetadas e a maioria acaba nunca tendo a opção de editar de qualquer maneira, barrando até mesmo o new xkit, que é a atual extensão que colabora pra ter uma função das antigas. infelizmente, é dessa forma que vem acontecendo e duvido muito que vão mudar alguma coisa.

parte iii: adaptar? pra que?

toda vez que você cria replies com o editor antigo, você dificulta a vida de quem tem acesso apenas ao novo/beta. isso se dá ao fato de que posts criados no editor antigo simplesmente não permitem ser editados por quem usa o beta, mesmo com a extensão de corte que o new xkit oferece para melhorar essa situação. não tem explicação, mas é assim que o tumblr vem funcionando.

isso significa que você, com editor antigo, vai poder fazer o que quiser, mas à partir do momento em que faz tudo com ele, quem tem o novo se prejudica na hora de responder, cortar e editar os posts. por isso é tão importante usar o editor beta, pra que todos consigam atualizar e deixar as coisas certas. dá pra pensar mais na aesthetic do seu theme nessas horas, né?

parte iv: como cortar os posts no editor beta, então?

eu já fiz um tutorial sobre isso aqui e vocês podem segui-lo tranquilamente. é mais chatinho? é. mas é assim que fica tudo certinho sem ter replies enormes na dash que podem até mesmo bugar a rolagem, que é algo que vem acontecendo demais principalmente para os usuários do mobile. infelizmente, a venda do tumblr não foi a coisa mais sábia a se fazer, uma vez que os scripts da yahoo são claramente problemáticos.

talvez seja hora de fazer uma despedida às antigas e se adaptar ao novo pra que as comunidades continuem vivendo! é um porre, mas já passamos por váriaaaas mudanças nessa plataforma e seguimos sobrevivendo, ao contrário de outras que só apedrejam nosso joguinho de cada dia. em algum momento, esse processo se torna automático e não vai ser trabalhoso mais. eu mesma me adaptei tanto aqui quanto nas minhas outras contas pra poder jogar, interagir, editar e colaborar. boa sorte!

♥ gif do meu amor @lomapacks​.

[filmografo]

series intro - BIRTHPLACE

genre: space opera, sci-fi, litfic (a bit)

status: drafting / “outlining” book 2/3.

pov: third person limited, present tense.

tropes / themes: the unbearable weight of mortality, the terrifying realization of Want, space lesbians, growing up / apart / back, lgbtq+, exes to rivals to whatever it is austrakit are currently, found family, finding oneself, (space) war era, ambiguity, subjectivity, capital p Pining (+ more tba)

summary: After finding out her ex-girlfriend is training a ten men crew for what is essentially a suicide mission to map a planet Earth that’s been left behind, Kit Nikon desperately tries to give her life a new meaning.

tags (more TBA): #: birthplace #[we] have the sun in common

Space station gardens, neon green & blue, roots taking place, the smell of damp earth, bright unflickering lights, starfighters, healing bruises, hands against cold metal, sea water, warm sunshine, home in the valley of someone else’s ribs.

characters:

nalkita “kit” nikon (23 - she/her?) | 🌱

emigrate, novo amor

de selby (part 1), hozier

glossover, afternoon bike ride / lowswimmer

strangers, ethel cain

austra andante (23 - she/her) | 🌊

repeat until death, novo amor

i wouldn’t ask you, clairo

the end of love, florence + the machine

there’s nothing left for you, mitski

excerpt:

To know something is to be in constant battle with it: the plaguing of a garden, trying to disinfect a never-healing wound. Being near Austra, hands dripping with blood that never belonged to either of their bodies, means Nalkita has to fight against her own humanity, fight against desire. Close up her throat so the words I wish you would, Lieutenant don’t come out, raw and real. Kit understands so little about herself and knows Austra so much — the feeling of her expressive eyebrows against a fingertip, the weight of every responsibility she carries. Who is she to add another sandbag to Austra’s already aching shoulders but a soldier, a sinning one, at that? Refusing to give up on something that was never hers to begin with.

rambles / more about the series under the cut! :D

this was born from a fanfic/short story i wrote 2 years ago when i wasn’t ready to face what came after the events of what is now book 1 of the birthplace series. i took inspiration from novo amor’s birthplace album, which re-enlightened me about the meaning of “home”. i still hold it extremely close to my heart and will forever.

for book 1 of this, “astro-garden”, the journey kit goes on is extremely personal, quite lonely, quite difficult. titles never meant something to her until austra got one. there’s not much i can say except kit is a firecracker of a person and she’s going to need a lot of luck (she’s strong, she’ll manage)!

book 2 “roots in infertile soil” is as chaotic as i can possibly make a book. there’s more pining (for reasons...), more action, more drama... the characters are all a joy to write and flesh out, and the mercury ii crew are the type of found family that i’ve always loved to read about <3 i’ll introduce each and every one of them with tags in the near future so stay tuned for that!!! :)

book 3 is still in its early earlyyy development stages but hopefully i’ll have something cool to say about it sooner rather than later !

feel free to ask me about anything birthplace-related seeing as this is the only project i am currently (actively) working on!!! i would love love loooove to chat more about secondary characters, locations (the spaceships are Alive), discuss the plot / themes more in depth, etc!

i will be making a taglist with everyone who wants to get updates from this (i'll post more abt that later!) so send me an ask if you’d like to join it :D !

thank you for reading this (kinda long?) intro post for my silly little still unwritten novels hehe! i hope to hear more from u soon

[meteor752]

Curious of what a modern au with the kids would look like…

Oh Anon don’t make me go there

(I am going there)

Not making designs for them (at the moment >:)) but I will give you some headcanons

Liana

Home girl is on her way to take over the fucking world

Comes from an extremely confusing home life, with her dads splitting up and getting together over and over again, both of them having had other partners during the breakup periods that never really last

In the present she has two dads and an additional step dad. She doesn’t like him that much, but her dads relationship seem more stable with him so she bears with it

Liana lost her leg just as she did in canon, due to frostbite. She got lost in the woods during winter for almost a week, and lost one of her shoes in a hole. She likes to dramatize the story though, to seem cooler

Started her own company at eighteen, and it grew into a multimillion corporation after only two years

She dabbles in a lot of things with her company, everything from movie production to train travel, tech to food items, theme parks to merch, and everything in between. Liana doesn’t calm down until she has control over every major industry in the world

Evil capitalist? Yes but consider this: Sexy evil capitalist lesbian. It makes up for it

She does own a lot of charities too, the majority of which being somewhat bird related, like the preservation of endangered birds, or rehabilitation of birds that have been abused by their owners. She likes birds

Still married to Jassy, her childhood best friend. She spoils her wife absolutely rotten (mostly with anime merch and manga’s), and would give up her entire company for her

Buuuuuut, Jassy hasn’t asked that of her yet, so Double Co. will keep on growing

Wes

Even without the imp genes, he’s still a big fricking boy

I mentioned multiple times that BDubs and Impulse were a bit like beauty pageant moms with Wes. Well…yeah

BDubs and Impulse wasn’t full beauty pageant moms (like those fuckers who like, perform surgeries on their four year olds so they will have fuller lips and shit), but beauty pageants was a huge part of my boy’s childhood, which wasn’t the best thing since he hates the spotlight and when people have their eyes on him. His dads would have stopped signing him up for them if he asked, but he was too nervous to do so, so yeah

But hey, at least my man can play the cello like a champ as an adult, since that was his talent.

He’s studying geology because rocks are cool :)

As an adult is relationship with his dads is…a bit strained, but he’s working through it in therapy

Engaged to his fiancé Jekiv, and has been so for many years now. Both of them are still studying, and even though his best friend (and stepsister’s) rich af wife has offered to handle the budget for the wedding, they want to wait until they can afford it themselves

Still has OCD and a lot of Anxiety, but now there’s at least medicine!

Gertrude

Golden retriever personified

She works out everyday just so she can lift and hug every dog she meets

One of her dads cheated on her other dad when she was little, so she grew up in separate homes. It was alright though, Big B would always bake with her and take her to the dog park, while Ren would tell fantastical stories and play as much dress up as she wanted

So yeah, Gertrude is actually pretty aight in this universe

I imagine Renchanting is some shop her dad owns, maybe either like a bisexual crystal shop or like a costume place, but she probably works part time there

Volunteers at a lot of dog rescue shelters, and has adopted many of them

Is studying to become a vet, but is also practicing writing on the side. She wants to write children’s fantasy novels, about princesses and magic

Is dating Novo, and has been waiting for him to propose for almost six years. She gonna keep on waiting

Johnny

Man is half British half Arizonan, still somehow speaks with a country accent. Only god knows where he got it from, and I don’t even think he does

Apart from more humane features, nothing about Johnny changes. Still an Aromantic icon, still a sweetie, still a rancher at heart, and he can still absolutely shred it on the Banjo

Suffers from mild anemia and asthma. He sometimes struggles to keep up with his friends, especially when they were children, but he always found ways to keep their pace, even if that means he sometimes had to be carried

He absolutely has one of those trucks that he treats as his baby. He’s worked on it for years, he has a name for it (It’s Butternut), he will cry if it’s even slightly scratched, it’s his child and he loves it very much.

Gertrude probably taught him some mechanics to take care of Butternut

Dreams of one day owning a ranch, but that’s a bit away

He probably volunteers and helps out at a lot of stables and riding schools, wrangling horses and whatnot. He’s got a natural talent, what can I say?

Jassy

She still styles her hair in all of those ridiculous anime styles, but now it takes a considerable amount of more hairspray and time

The way she bonded with her dads as a kid was through their favorite medias, so with Etho they would always talk Naruto and anime while with Joel she would always talk Shrek and Harry Potter

Has taken Ninjitsu and parkour classes since she learned how to walk

The only dyed part of her hair is the green streak. She has incredibly pale blonde hair

Married to one of the most successful entrepreneurs ever, and she pulled that bitch by being a fucking weeb

Is extremely into Cosplay, and has a Naruto OC that is Kakashi’s super cool powerful daughter

Has a job in a book store, mostly because she enjoys having something to do during the days. Is a bad employe tho, spends most of the time reading manga or mystery novels

Collects knives and daggers as a hobby because she’s just that bitch

Jekiv

Imagining Jekiv as not a Zombie is actually very difficult

In canon Martyn just kinda dipped, but imma say he stuck around here, so yeah Jekiv grew up with both of his parents. Separated of course, but they were both present

Still, he’s got a lot better relationship with his mom than his dad. They’re more alike

Suffers from Hyperthyroidism, which is the reason behind his skinny figure, his patchy hair, his weak muscles, and his bulging eyes. He’s had it since he was a tween, and he tries to not let it bother him

He gets sunburnt really easily so he rarely goes outside when the sun is shining. He’s pale af

Is studying forensic pathology, and works part time at a morgue. He’s always had a weird fascination with dead bodies, but hey at least he isn’t a serial killer

Would absolutely be a serial killer if he had the skills and strength to do so

Owns over twenty breeds of frog, two of which is poisonous

Has a resting bitch face, but he also is just a straight up bitch sometimes

Novo

Mans still a lil freak

Has Stahl’s ear syndrome and thinks it’s cool as fuck. Usually has his hair tied up to show it off

Bleaches and dyes his hair a new color every month. His hair is permanently damaged because of it, but he’s mostly fine with it

While his parents are on non speaking terms, they’re a lot more healthy than in canon. Novo is well raised and loved, he’s just Like That

Has a freakish resistance to the cold, like, Canadian level resistance, so mans will just lay in in a t-shirt and skirt in the snow while taking a nap

Picks up a new instrument every few weeks. He can’t play any of them, but he likes to find ways to annoy his friends with them

Is studying law, actually. He may not look or act it, but he’s freakishly smart, and he wants to become a prosecutor

Is dating Gertrude, and has been waiting for her to propose for almost six years. He’s gonna keep on waiting