#then you were always a bad friend.

[birdricks]

just remembered the pheonixperson fight [walking into the ocean]

[theshadowrealmitself]

I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them

People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human

“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”

“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”

“Yeah!!”

“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”

“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“

“How illogical”

“That’s what I’m saying!!!”

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Laios's three Boy Best Friends. And yes, they hate him.

[storm-driver]

from here

[kadextra]

idk how many people saw late into the bbh stream tonight, but to summarize, the tubhole snow prank is completely cleaned up :3

q!bad was using a new machine to do it with richarlyson (almost crashed the server four times) and to clear the whole thing it would take ~3 hours. however the admins’ dog destruction inside added a lot more time, though he was still committed to doing it overnight

then richas decided he wanted to play pretend and pulled bad away. when they came back an hour later the snow disappeared, tubhole is clean! the admins had pity for bad’s lack of sleep, and it was partially their own shenanigans to clean up anyways (I think canonically the dapper co. employed ghosties with shovels helped lmao)

bad & richas took credit for all the work, gaslighting themselves, and then repaired q!tubbo’s bridge good as new! left some gifts and a letter :D

[tricoufamily]

a current day nils and a 90s college student nils who's way too intense about his internship walk into a bar

[flamestar126]

Hey! Go check out my friend's new Howdy x Wally fanfic! She's amazing at what she does! @whycantichooseausername

May I have this dance kiss?

Bonus under the cut!

Look who was so bashful beforehand.

[lunarharp]

figured i'd do this again..bit early i guess..

[hella1975]

hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x

[where-is-caithe]

I think there should have been a "you fucking died" moment in either the last part or this part instead of ONLY focusing on letting people down and letting people die. Dying is traumatic, and the commander came back from that, because of their sense of duty and that should have been and should continue to be explored. This sense of duty that drives them to come back from the dead. That's gotta fuck someone up eventually.

[natjennie]

ever since I was a little girl I knew I would be ostracized from my peers and, by accident and without knowing why, cultivate a life for myself in which I don't know how to interact with other people in any capacity without being supremely uncomfortable and self-conscious.

[autumnsxxangel]

Mew is stronger than me because if my glasses broke, that would be IT. No one TALK to me. No one LOOK at me. I'm going HOME. I'll be back in 5-7 business days and even then...debatable.

Also when Mew was like "my eyesight is -5.0" and they zoomed into his face I laughed out loud. Like bitch, where? With those thin ass lenses? Your glasses don't even pretend to make your eyes smaller or refract the side of your face.

[talxns]

the urge some DC writers have to make bruce and dick’s early relationship extremely distant and cold while also trying to assure us that they are still totally father&son energy is so baffling to me.

i watched bad blood (with @heart-bones !) the other day and have been thinking about dick’s dialogue a lot. dick basically had nothing nice to say about bruce. he said growing up with him was LONELY. he said he did not even really know bruce (????).

but then at the climax he tells him he’s the best man he’s ever known (while having a gun to his head so that’s convincing). so, what? you don’t know him when it’s time to be angsty but you DO when it’s the emotional climax? were you lying one of those instances?

why does it feel like this happens so often with them now… trying to hammer home that dick was miserable and lonely and could never understand bruce and bruce was annoyed by him and his puns and all this crap. why do they want to make bruce neglectful of young dick? it’s like they can’t comprehend that dick can still have issues with bruce even if bruce wasn’t neglectful. that bruce had to be cold and detached and absent for dick to want to distance himself from him when that’s such a copout idk!!!

[copperhawkthoughts]

Something I thought was interesting about Dusk before the reveal-to-the-audience moment, and about which I became absolutely feral afterward, is the way they were constantly needling. Poking at everyone, asking little questions that, on the surface and in her sweetly innocent tone, fly just under the radar of shitty behaviour but are actually weapons’-grade undermining, laser-guided missiles of ‘making you doubt yourself and the world’.

She was getting the Hells to do the kind of introspection that FCG flirts with, but carefully calculated to leave them feeling worse. It was really fucking something to watch.

I saw another post talking about how it worked on the Hells as well as it did because they don’t trust themselves enough and that’s definitely part of it, I agree - but I also think Dusk was really helped by the fact that the Hells are all too polite. Yes even Fearne, would wouldn’t know Material Plane manners if they bit her on the ass, because Fearne isn’t cruel. YES even Ashton, who has a very live-and-let-live attitude. All of them were getting sucked into that trap of being unwilling to be the one rocking the boat when someone’s behaviour starts to ride the line on your boundaries. I’ve done it myself! Someone says or does something that seems reasonable on the face of it and you realize afterward that it sucked - or you realize in the moment but then immediately doubt your right to say something, OR the inertia of “nice manners” feels like trying to wade through sludge and you can’t bring yourself to cause a scene.

It’s a fascinating, fascinating way of playing a villain and I cannot wait to see what Erika does next!

[derpinette]

girls being nice to me gets me higher than ecstasy ever could