#there are no gifsets of her so i gotta do it myself

[mrgaretcarter]

I need a pretty significant degree of commonality (both subjective and objective) between characters to ship them and I think that's why it's so hard to find f/f ships that draw me in. It's like people making media want to create the polarity that would usually be there through gender by making these women so starkly different that I just become unable to connect.

[lemonlyman-dotcom]

Thank you @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @tellmegoodbye @paperstorm @heartstringsduet @honeybee-taskforce 💕 I am writing but I still don’t have anything I’m ready to share yet, so we’re doing another work is published Wednesday. I’m in my Eid fic feels (did you see @guardian-angle22 gifset inspired by it 🥺), so please take this little Marj & Carlos conversation from love in a series of bursts & inches

“I don’t want to have regrets,” she says. “I want my parents to know Joe. I think if there’s anything these past few years have taught us, it’s that we don’t have as much time as we think we do.”

A deep look of contemplation passes over Carlos’s face. “So what are you afraid of?”

“I’m afraid of ruining the relationship I do have with my parents.” She says, rolling her shoulders back and feeling her resolve strengthen. “I’m afraid telling me that they love me and that they support me is a lot easier than doing it. And I’m afraid they won’t be able to accept him.”

“Because they didn’t choose him for you? Like they did with Salim?”

“No. Well. Maybe, only because they don’t know his family. They don’t know how he was raised. He’s from a different culture, I think they’re gonna think I’m losing the faith or something.”

“I get that. When I came out my parents told me that it didn’t change anything, but I felt a change,” he says, eyes going dark like he’s sinking deeper into his memory. “I spent a lot of time convincing myself my parents were okay with me being gay, as long as they didn’t have to see it. Or hear about it. I built it up so much in my head. How they would react, how they’d be disgusted by me, how they’d probably disown me. I pushed a lot of people away, guys I dated who thought they were some kind of dirty secret to me. I thought I had to choose between having my family or having a partner. Hell, I even went through with a marriage to a bad match just to try to appease them.”

She laughs as he shudders at the thought. “So what changed?”

“TK,” he says softly, eyes swimming with fondness. “I met him and everything inside me shifted. I didn’t make the choice to tell my parents about him, and I’ll forever regret that. But I think in time I would have. I couldn’t have given him up.”

“He’s an impressive guy,” she says.

A huge cheesy smile crosses Carlos’s face. “He’s my husband.”

“I feel that way with Joe,” she says after a minute. “I was so scared to even think about dating, but with him it’s been so easy. When I met him and we went on our first date with Paul and Asha, I don’t know, it felt like the world got a little bit clearer. He gets me and he challenges me.” She gestures to the pinball machines. “He gets along with my friends. I don’t want to give him up either.”

Carlos is nodding along in understanding before she finishes her thought.

“Then don’t, Marj. But you’ve gotta talk to your parents. You owe that to him and to yourself. And you owe it to them.” He reaches across to squeeze her forearm. “I bet they’ll surprise you. From everything I’ve heard, from you and TK, they really love you.”

Tagging @bonheur-cafe @lightningboltreader @freneticfloetry @chicgeekgirl89 @emsprovisions @sapphic--kiwi @welcometololaland @carlos-in-glasses @tellmegoodbye @thisbuildinghasfeelings @herefortarlos @ladytessa74 @americansrequiems @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @tommy-kinard-buckley @orchidscript @whatsintheboxmh @basilsunrise @captain-gillian @carlos-tk @fifthrideroftheapocalypse @strandnreyes @fitzherbertssmolder @fallout-mars @filet-o-feelings @your-catfish-friend @kiwichaeng @iboatedhere @literateowl @liminalmemories21 @alrightbuckaroo @guardian-angle22 @tinyluminaryzombie @rmd-writes @theghostofashton @reyesstrand @never-blooms @decafdino @certifiedflower and OPEN TAG 🏷️

[saelterlude]

started making this list early (11/02) even though there's no new performance until 16/02 bcs i accidentally found somethings (also bcs I was doing that cursed height ranking).

so here is link click musical clip list pt.3! (pt.1, pt.2, pt.4, pt.5, pt.6, pt.7 here)

37. 15/11/2024, this! the OG hug with Shu Rongbo and Wu Yihan! Back when Shu Rongbo still (attempts to) have canon accurate split bangs and ponytail (unlike now when he has, adorable, messy bangs and a hard-to-spot ponytail), and his jacket still fits lol.

38. 17/02/2024, Cai Qi being a menace at rock paper scissors, Cai Lu being a menace on the sofa (+dog hat), and Wu Yihan being a menace to Hong Guo and they struggle to hold hands?? during curtain call. Also I don't understand why does Wu Yihan look so tiny next to Cai Qi, like? I never thought he was smol before this??

39. 06/01/2024, maybe it's because I was very tired when I found this but Du Guangyi tossing the cushion away like that is exactly my type of humor.

40. 16/02/2024, Let me give you the loudest QL slap you'll ever heard courtesy of Wu Hanglu and Wang Yifei's shoulders. Also, behavior wise Du Guangyi maybe the least LG-like LG actor but god do I like his humor (pls he jumped up the table like a pocong lol, and the way he jump kicked Wang Yifei? He's a Gem.).

(Honestly, I think I can make a whole other list just full of the shit Du Guangyi pulls. He's very mischievous but also giving grandpa. But I won't because @shimmeringweeds is working on a gifset of it <3 Goodluck!!)

41. 21/02/2024, Cai Qi being extra heart hands <3 and Wang Minhui being extra aggressive.

42. 24/02/2024 day, I have nothing to say other than Guo Hongxu is really pretty. No, I cannot explain why i pick this particular clip. Look up stage door pictures from this day too, I swear he's just really pretty on that day.

43. 25/02/2024 day, a second Guo Hongxu clip. Look at him being embarrassed and becoming a loaf.

Counting down to the 100th link click musical performance! These are the official special encore recordings from the musical's weibo acc. So they're modified versions of the actual performance.

Since we're getting into songs outside the usual encore, I'll reference you to this post by @sgdlr-asdfghjkl with lyrics and brief explanation to each song, it's an unofficial transcript but it's the best we currently have.

These first two are "Words Can't Convey My Love" (M07)

44. 20/02/2024, Wang Minhui bets he can confess better than Bai Zhuoming better, sings the confession song and fails miserably. And poor Wu Hanglu accidentally got kicked by Bai Zhuoming.

45. 22/02/2024, You have to watch this one. You have Du Guangyi being the comedic genius that he is, cocky speech, dramatic pause, Lu Guang rizz, pathetic crying, failed confetti. You get the best Wang Yifei outfit, also he's skipping around the stage. And Qian Anqi can't help but laugh too!

46. 23/01/2024, We got "Faith of Friendship" (M05). Teng Chunpeng and Du Guangyi gotta do pushups if they fail to land a shot, and the ending is hilarious, do give it a watch.

*note: You can see how M07 and M05 are actually supposed to go in the bottom of the pt.2 list.

Next two are also of the same song, the extended ver. of the sofa song "Forget About It" (M03). TW: hanging/noose. They take CXS's "I'll hang myself here" joke and put it in the song.

47. 24/02/2024 night, actor/role swap stage! Wu Yihan played CXS, Deng Xianling played LG, and Ding Xingchen played QL. Wu Yihan was definitely having fun howling here. Also, disastrous cast introduction by Ding Xingchen lol.

48. 25/02/2024 day, the actors are the right way around this time with Guo Hongxu, Ji Xiaokun, and Cai Lu. But they're all using different local dialect! You can even see Cai Lu cheats and read from her phone.

49. 25/02/2024 night, "As The Saying Goes" (M08), where mother and son have a quarrel. Cai Qi as CX gets scolded x4 by the rest of the cast as CX's mama. Yes, that includes Wang Minhui putting him in timeout. But there's more!

50. 25/02/2024 night, a very important fancam on the performance above. It's shaky but pls pay close attention to Zhang Jiahao, should be easy, the fancam is focused on him. the wig, the very real fried chicken (i thought it was a fake, it wasn't), he was munching the entire time, and the chair, thank you very much sir. You can even see him offering a bite and getting scolded by Deng Xianling.

(very good, very funny, a very special one fitting for the 50th clip.)

That's all for this list.

Last time I added a bonus clip of Wu Yihan in Love Musical. This time you can have these two bonus clips of Shu Rongbo absolutely slaying it in Hey!Arizona Musical. IDK what it's about but the set and costumes are so damn cool.

[carmenized-onions]

I’m speechless (I have so much to say)

Your mind?! Your skills?!

I totally forgot that the fucking iconic freezer fight never happened in the first chapter because Tony/Inky/Chip/Best Repairwoman To Ever Live/ Baddest Bitch To Ever Exist/ etc got there just in time, so to see it HERE??? So fucking satisfying. It’s like a train wreck you can’t look away from and you managed to completely recreate that scene, only now it’s Tony’s heart breaking instead of Claire’s 😔

I also love the fact that it was the “You’re fucking nothing!” line that prompted Tony to intervene. The same thing Lee said to Michael 💔 (Fuck that guy)

And your characterization of Tony is honesty my favorite because it’s like Carmen says, she defends herself without being mean (even though he deserves to be locked in the freezer again AND the office just for good measure) and THAT makes Carmen’s words all the more vicious because she knows he’s spiraling about something, she’s trying to be compassionate, she’s trying her damn hardest to believe that he doesn’t mean it, but then he delivers the final blow to an open wound and yeah…he must mean it

Also, Richie ready to throw down with Carmen after he made Tony cry??? Sydney immediately comforting her??? Both them AND the staff ready to WALK??? Sweeps not knowing what the fuck is going on during his smoke break??? I love them all 💕

“No. Richie’s got it. You’ve gotta keep your kitchen in order.” The way I would say the same shit just to be petty 😊

Also, the Exec asking for her number??? ew

Jump scare fr, didn’t see that coming at all 😂

Carmen’s gonna have an aneurysm when he reads that

The parking lot scene between Tony and Richie was so cathartic. They grieved Michael’s death separately for so long, blaming themselves, and now they can grieve together 🥺

I once again fully support Tony’s decision to let the stray fur ball eat Carmen’s flowers AND to leave the black plate out to fend for itself 😊

And FINALLY, “I know you said I’d be a perfect match for your little brother…” I’m SOBBING. Carmen was out here thinking that Michael and Tony were a thing when all along his older brother was trying to play matchmaker 💔

I’m gonna need about 5 business days to recover

I’m also gonna be very disappointed when season 3 drops next week and I don’t see Chip pop up within the first couple of seconds. Like THIS is season 3. It’s canon. 💜💜💜

I feel bad not responding in order but I have to start with the end. Can I be so fr. Me too. LMAO. I HAVE R O T T E D MY BRAIN. I HAVE RUINED THE BEAR FOR MYSELF LMAOOOO. I'm gonna be watching in 6 fucking days going,,,, but,,, but toneee???? but chipp??? where chip!!?!?!?!!

So I'm glad other people also think this. Delights me. I am hoping that a bunch of plot points I did still happen in season 3, because some of writing this has genuinely been either me guessing or just wanting a fun thing to happen in S3 (I.e I think wedding catering ep would genuinely be so fucking fun. like terrible. but so fun)

ANYWAYYYSSSS Back to this chapter's thoughts.

Thank you sm for having sm to say because I love to hear it-- An analysis??? ooohhfhsdfhksdjfh i could. i could maybe die. Fuckin love when people DIG IN!!!

I don't remember if I always planned for this fight to lead with the freezer fight, but I do remember seeing like a gifset of the freezer fight, and going oh I can't just let this all go unsaid. It would be AN INJUSTICE to Carm/Rich to not let that air out. You gotta level a building to rebuild. And there's just something I think on like, a reader level/ me writing it of like-- Knowing when this was supposed to happen and where that really adds so much to reading it this time, because instead of a door between them it's fucking YOU!!! FUCK !!!!!!

YEEAAGGHHH!!!! (You will see why I cannot comment more on this point of Uncle Lee later. But Just know. YEEAHFKJDFHGKJDFHGFKJDFG!!!!!!!!!)

Every time people say they love Tony as a character, an angel gets it's wings. That's how it feels for me. But 100% it made that whole scene so much more brutal because she's trying to explain and trying to understand but that's simply not how any dynamic Carmen's ever been in has worked and so it's just making him wig out more. RAH!

The other thing, that I think is like, a golden rule in writing fights-- Or at least it's always been one for me-- The hardest hitting line will always be the one that the person hearing it thinks is true about themselves. Peoples princess? Sure. Don't work here? Ouch but okay. The one thing that haunts you every day that you blame yourself for and were just waiting for one person to affirm it for you? OH!!!! OH!!!! BABYYYYYYYYY!!!!

The aftermath with the kitchen was so tough for me to think out, because I was like-- I cannot have them fucking punch Carmen. Like we can't do that. But also like. Richie would do that. WOP WOP! But I eventually agreed with myself that he'd go with chewing him out BEFORE the punch, and thankfully Chip stopped him in time.

Syd was me, when my friends cry. The yoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyo-- came from an extremely real place. and that place is my mouth. I love The Bear and Tony's relationship, which is also what makes the I don't think anyone's my friend all the more heartbreaking, because everyone was on her side there. And she just cannot see that. SON OF A BITCH BROOOOO BROOOOO STOPPPPPP I'm the one writing it who am I telling to stop?

I-- With the petty line, bro,,,, I wanted to dig into hell so bad. I wanted to snatch that motherfucker's soul-- But I left it at your kitchen because it just wouldn't be in Tony's like,,,, energy? to do so?? Like she'd already been murdered at that point, so she couldn't turn on roast mode. my poor bird.

JUMP SCARE EXEC!!! There were actually surprise surprise whether you believe me or not, a lot of different ways his dinner could've went, and I'll probably share them in another ask down the line, but the one thing I felt pretty solid about is he would be into Tony. ew.

The parking lot scene really was everything for me tbh, I'd been waiting to write this chapter overall for some time, but that one like,,,, fuck i really adore these two and it's exactly like ya said, so very cathartic for them to finally get to be absolutely not over anything togetherrrr yknow?

And that's another vote for---Fuck it, poll,

As for Mikey Matchmaker,,,,, -- You know what, i'm gonna save this for after either the series is done or after chapter 13, pending. But remind me later that i need to tell you something about Mikey and ,,,,, fire???? Yeah. Tell me I need to tell you about that, after chapter 13 or so.

[izloveshorses]

I'm in a bit of an in-between period rn of what i'm focusing on writing, so.... do you guys have any preferences what i work on updating next? (no promises, i cannot write on command/ i do not control what daydream we hyperfixate on etc etc but i can at least Work On what you guys vote for) so peruse the list of drafts here, some published, some not quite ready yet, and pick something that sounds intriguing.

propaganda under the cut if you want something a little more descriptive! otherwise you're welcome to ask questions/ leave your reasons in the replies :)

sleep on the floor: angsty road trip, modern au, etc. i made a whole gifset for this and a pretty banger playlist if i do say so myself.

notting hill au: anya is a famous movie star, dmitry is a nobody bookstore owner, and they cross paths randomly one day when anya is hiding from paparazzi, they hit it off right away, but dating is hard. just one chapter is up so far. i gotta decide on something that happens in the film i was thinking about changing but we could write some other things in the meantime

art heist au: unpublished! anya works at a distinguished gallery, a painting from her late parents' collection they thought had been lost in a tragic fire just recently sprung up into the public eye again, but it's being auctioned off soon and anya isn't happy about it, since she thinks it contains the secrets of what really happened to her family. dmitry visits the gallery in attempts to steal it, but she catches him in the act and they decide to strike up a deal-- if he helps her forge a copy, she'll let him have the original to sell once she does more research and sees if it actually ~contains the secrets~ she's looking for. it's about the intrigue, the drama, the mystery, the reluctant alliance turned romance. good stuff. as long as i can figure out a plot structure aslhkdf

post breakup/get back together fic: unpublished. slightly inspired by the song 'if the world was ending,' but instead of an earth quake it's a snow storm and talk of the world ending with the new year. set during new years eve, anya visits him for the first time since they broke up a year ago and Talk about things that happened, interwoven with some flashbacks of their relationship from beginning to end. i also made another banger playlist for this guy.

equestrian au: dmitry and vlad are show jumping trainers down on their luck, anya is the new stablehand dmitry finds sleeping in the stall with her ugly horse (pooka <3). but when vlad decides her hidden talent is worth sculpting into a refined show jumping career, the three of them team up to make it to the FEI world cup in Paris, where Marie Feodorovna will be watching and contributing to the winning purse. maybe anya will find the home love family she's looking for idk.

crazy rich asians au: inspired by the movie, but without the hazing and the drama and the angst, so it's mostly just a meet the parents au of a sort with some nice and fluffy established dimya. anya's sister is getting married and she wants to use the event as a way to introduce dmitry, her long time bf, to the family. dmitry is excited about potentially asking for the Family Ring (👀) and leaving new york for the first time to visit the homeland (would the wedding be in russia? or would they get married in the french riviera or something a bit warmer?) until he figures out just how wealthy anya's family is. he knew she came from wealth, but not quite to this extent, and gets a little insecure about it. shenanigans ensue.

[newhologram]

1RKO/Hatsu KO Gachi (First KO Win)- Sheena Ringo & NOCCHi lyrics and translation

ᵁˢᵘᵃˡ ᵈᶦˢᶜˡᵃᶦᵐᵉʳ: ᴵ’ᵐ ᵃ ᴶᴾ ˢᵗᵘᵈᵉⁿᵗ, ⁿᵒᵗ ᶠˡᵘᵉⁿᵗ, ˢᵗᶦˡˡ ˡᵉᵃʳⁿᶦⁿᵍ. ᴵ ᵃˡˢᵒ ᵗʳʸ ⁿᵒᵗ ᵗᵒ ᵈᵒ ˡᶦᵗᵉʳᵃˡ ᵗʳᵃⁿˢˡᵃᵗᶦᵒⁿˢ ᵇᵉᶜᵃᵘˢᵉ ᶦᵗ ᶜᵃⁿ ᶠᵉᵉˡ ˢᵗᵃˡᵉ. ᴵᵗ’ˢ ᵐᵒʳᵉ ᶦᵐᵖᵒʳᵗᵃⁿᵗ ᵗᵒ ᵐᵉ ᵗᵒ ᵖʳᵉˢᵉʳᵛᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᵉᵉˡᶦⁿᵍ ᵗʰᵃⁿ ᵗᵒ ᵍᶦᵛᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ᵃ ᵇᵒʳᶦⁿᵍ ᵈᶦʳᵉᶜᵗ ᵗʳᵃⁿˢˡᵃᵗᶦᵒⁿ. Finally! The collab that has had us screaming since its release. There's so much to say about it. Fans have long been wondering (and wishing) that Perfume's members would branch out and do other things. Because as much as we love Yasutaka Nakata's work as their producer, the truth is that he keeps them pretty limited during recording sessions to make it easier to tweak vocals for the electro/techno genre they're known for. They're each incredibly talented singers but they hardly get to actually show it as Perfume. Nocchi in particular seems to get her solo parts in songs cut more than anyone, which is a shame. So for this collab, Sheena Ringo wanted her to let loose for once. Get angry, shout, punch, jab. It's the perfect song and video to showcase all that pent up energy she must be holding on to after 20 years. And she really did KO us with it, because damn. It's so wild to hear and see this edgier side of her and I love it. Congrats to Nocchi on an amazing job! Now please, I wanna see Kashiyuka do a haunting mermaid music video (LOVE her snorkeling posts on IG) and maybe A~chan can do a heartbreaking love ballad. Wishful thinking :p Full fansub here Preview here Gifsets will be in my gifs tag More translations ⭐Like my J-Pop translations? Donate to my ko-fi or become a Patron.

Translation, romaji, and kana below 🥊💥💪🥊💥💪

My mind and body are untapped in every aspect Brain and spine all brand-new and unopened Not even a single blow taken Even the cheapest shot swiftly blocked Ever since I was born, no matter how much I ate and ate, it was always delicious Three cups of rice wolfed down in one sitting Thanks to double the metabolism “I wanna get stronger, I wanna get faster” Such desires closely guarded Starting today, can I shed it all, strip myself bare, and feel a little proud? Mentally and physically, I’ve got no worries Brain specs all praised yet unglorified Not even a single blow of hot air spoken, nothing spoiled Not even a single flame war lost Comfort is warmer than boredom What a waste I’ve got no choice but to admit Whenever, wherever, I’ve been in a deep sleep Suspended in parasympathetic nervous system dominance I charged up 100 Percent Life “I wanna get thicker, I wanna get heavier” Give me the impact that works on anyone Just once, let me strike I wanna feel alive Fight! If the enemy gets wise to it Oh well, I’ll let loose Hitting the hidden shoulder with my right fist A goofy stance on the left (One) Jab! (Two) Jab! (Three) Jab! (Four) Straight? Right I’ll refrain from making excuses ‘Cause I only need one title in this life In this state, am I an energy conservation expert at best? No! No matter how many times I stand at the scene I realize I wanna be beaten to a pulp to the point where I’m dog-tired Ah, a critical hit! Such a precious opportunity Whether I stab or get stabbed it’s all the same if my longing is satisfied I wanna see you give it your all! I’ve still gotta set myself free and feel how my life force trembles with pleasure I wanna indulge more Whatever happens, I’m good Right now, I just wanna shake loose It’s proof that I’m alive Without being fooled I’m dancin’ My heart’s electrified My first KO win 🥊💥💪🥊💥💪

tende tsukatteinai seishin-men nikutai-men nouzuimen ni itatte all shinpin mi kaifuu tende moratteinai kensei ippatsu sae mo sendou ippatsu sae mo saitan de mimattan sai umarete kara zutto tabete mo tabete mo oishikatta san-gou taite ikkai de issai nakusu kiso taisha nara heikin no bai "tsuyoku naritai, hayaku naritai" shinobaseshi kono ganbouyo kyou kara nuide haide sukoshi PURAUDO shite ii desu ka nan mo tsukandeinai seishin-men nikutai-men nouzuimen no SUPEKKU all zessan mi kakunin nan mo itandeinai zeigen ippatsu sae mo enjou ippatsu sae mo nai nante oen yo taikutsu sa yori kaiteki sa koso ga nuruin da wa mottainai wa mitomezaru wo ennou itsu demo doko demo jukusui shiteita fuku koukanshinkei yuuidatta aida hyaku percent tamekittatta RAIFU "futoku naritai, omoku naritai" dare ni demo kiku iryoku wo choudai tada iza toiu isshun tsuite sukatto shitai desu Fight senpou ga kan tsuicha shaanai dasu ka kakushi toushiteita okugawa no kata wo touhou migi butta hidari de shita GUUFI SUTANSU (One) JABBU (Two) JABBU (Three) JABBU (Four) SUTOREETO? Right menzai fu nanzo wa enryo shimasu batten shougai tatta hitotsu shougou ga iru n desu genjou wa seizei shouene meijin desu ka No nan-ben datte genba he tatte omoishitte mettauchi ni sura atte shousui shitai hodo aa kaishin no ichigeki sonna kichouna ori ni wa sashitatte sasaretatte onaji desu sou honmou honki ga mitai! mada jibun wo tokihanateru kaikan tsuranuki touru inochi ga furueru motto fuketteitai dou nattatte kekkou tatta ima yurashitai no ikiteiru akashiyo odorasarezu odotteiru shibireteiru shin'nozou hatsu KO gachi

🥊💥💪🥊💥💪 てんで使っていない精神面肉体面 脳髄面にいたって all 新品未開封 てんで貰っていない牽制一発さえも 扇動一発さえも 最短で 見舞ったんさい 生まれてから ずっと 食べても食べてもおいしかった 三合炊いて一回で一切無くす 基礎代謝なら平均の倍 「強くなりたい 速くなりたい」 忍ばせしこの願望よ 今日から脱いで剥いで 少しプラウドしていいですか なんも悩んでいない精神面肉体面 脳髄面のスペック all 絶賛未確認 なんも傷んでいない贅言一発さえも 炎上一発さえもないなんて負えんよ 退屈さより快適さこそが温いんだわ もったいないわ 認めざるを 得んのう いつでもどこでも 熟睡していた 副交感神経優位だった間 百 percent 溜め切ったったライフ 「太くなりたい 重くなりたい」 誰にでも効く威力を頂戴 ただいざという一瞬突いて スカッとしたいです Fight 先方が勘付いちゃ しゃあない出すか 隠し通していた奥側の肩を当方右ぶった 左でしたグーフィスタンス (One) ジャブ (Two) ジャブ (Three) ジャブ (Four) ストレート？ Right 免罪符なんぞは遠慮しますばってん 生涯たった一つ称号が要るんです 現状はせいぜい省エネ名人ですか No 何遍だって現場へ立って思い知って 滅多打ちにすら遭って 憔悴したいほど あぁ 会心の一撃 そんな貴重な折りには 刺したって刺されたって 同じですそう本望 本気が観たい！ まだ自分を解き放てる 快感貫き通る命が震える もっと耽っていたい どうなったって結構 たったいま揺らしたいの 生きている証よ 踊らされず 踊っている 痺れている心の臓 初KO勝ち

[mokacheer]

Hey it's Santa! Sorry if I was late, my previous ask must have gotten eaten up or I forgot to sent it😶. If you don't find the ask, I can send it again, my bad 😳. For today's question, what kind of graphic or gif "trends" do you like the most? Do you like a particular trend like minimalism or very low vibrance gifs? Why do you like them the most? Have a good start of the week! -Your animanga Secret Santa 🎅

ya, i highly blame tumblr they are still after all these years still eating messages ;0;. yes please do send the ask again if you remember what you had written!!

ooo i love this question! i love the way @gojosattoru , ana makes her graphics. from the colors to the templates to the way she just straight decorates them i adore same for steph @hanae-ichihara ! or like if youve seen the way people edit stranger things or like big american artist. for example this post here! all the gifs in the set are different yet all work so nicely cohesive! i would love to try it myself one day :3. i dont like specifically one trend rather i love all gif styles/trends! i always love seeing something new and I myself kinda feel like ive created something somewhat new? idk ive been here for 10 years and ive never seen a gifset that includes beads or gems in their pieces like i do with posts like this and this. i would love to make this style trendy so ive definitely gotta make more things with it to begin with but id love to see how other content creators would make their things with stickers!

but in general yeah i just love seeing any gif trend old or new bc it always sparks some motivation in myself to want to try it or make my own. hope that makes sense ;3;

have a great start to your week too santa! <33

[starsspin-a]

endless edits of baghra.morozova { mutuals may reblog }

[tentacle-stylograph]

WOOOOOOO! finally watched The Sea Beast on Netflix! the first thing i saw of it, other than it being in my Netflix scroll, was this gifset, specifically the first two gifs and the bottom quote 'cause after i went "oHP THAT'S A MOVIE I'M WATCHING" from the first gif, i purposefully didn't look at the others. and HOOOOOOH BOY do i love reptilian sea monsters. -looks at my url- -corrects:- sea monsters. boy do i love sea monsters. so i was hyped to watch the movie only to see that design, but an artist i follow was reblogging a bunch about the movie and saying how much they loved it, so, hey! if it's a good movie too, that's a bonus!!

^this is the beauty that had me go “WELLP. THAT’S A MOVIE I’M DEFINITELY GOING TO WATCH”

anyhow.

non-spoiler review: FUN. I LIKED IT. THE ACTION WAS -CHEF'S KIIIIIISS-, THE DESIGNS WERE CHEF'S KISS, IT'S GOT ITS NICE CORNY MORALS FOR AN ANIMATED FAMILY FILM, AND I LIKE PRETTY MUCH ALL THE CHARACTERS. i've got some nitpicks i'll go into in the spoiler part of this review, as it is unfortunately a movie i'd have to force myself to watch again, but, for the most part, that's just 'cause of my own personal stuff / distractibility.

from the caps lock there, obviously i recommend the movie for most people. the most non-spoiler i can get on one of my bigger nitpicks is "character inconsistency. one of the characters seems to have certain traits to service the story's theme, and they inexplicably lose those traits at a certain point to service the story's theme / plot, instead of acting consistent to themself the whole time."

spoilers under cut!

__

so.

-upset exhale-

Jacob Holland.

he’s the inconsistent character i mentioned above. he’s the “hyper-competent” character, which was done super fun with the action, but then... he... just... falls apart when he’s taken away from his ship. for comedy, kinda. also to show he doesn’t know what he’s doing, sure, ‘cause that’s the point: he DOESN’T know what’s going on with these creatures. so, the writers could have kept that concept, sure -- that he loses some of his competence once he metaphorically loses his footing -- but there could have been a better balance ‘cause that was distracting.

i took some notes after watching the movie and i said “story-servicing abilities rather than character-serving abilities”: his level of competency is hinged to the story and to the writers, not to himself. again, there’s not inherently anything wrong with that -- storytelling is about communication, after all -- but the drastic dip was unbelievable.

another thing that--ugh. UUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHH. it’s a much smaller deal, but it’s the thing that makes the movie a “i have to force myself to rewatch it” movie.

the... ugh. really? the female-coded EYESHADOW on Red? really???? you have to give the sea monster eyeshadow?????

i would have accepted it if Maisie said her “I think she’s a girl” line or however that went. i would’ve been like “huh. um, okay sure” and that would've been fine. but the kid’s show Bluey and webcomic BACKLASH have spoiled me in regards to female designs. like, look at this wonderfulness:

everyone here is female except for the dad in back! no dumb cartoon eyelashes to tell them apart! you just gotta listen to the pronouns characters call each other. (with a few exceptions through the show, but they're the exception, not the rule, and i have no complaints about those characters)

and look at this! both female! (okay, the first one's from BACKLASH and the second is from a one-shot by the same artist.) no dumb exaggerated eyelashes or eye-shadow-that-doesn’t-actually-exist-because-you-need-to-know-the-character-is-female! wonderful! makes my heart so happy!

so anyway. that aspect of The Sea Beast isn't something that's going to stop me from recommending the movie. it's just a character design thing that irks me, like giving hair only to female stick figures or otherwise-genderless figures. and now that i've seen it's not strictly necessary, it irks me even more, especially on inhuman characters, especially since, usually, inhuman characters would have the males with those features.

anywho.

like i said, good movie, good characters.

i liked the transition of Captain Crow from murky protagonist to CLEAR antagonist, yet nothing he did seemed out of character from how he was introduced, and he was still an empathetic character the whole time. i'd need to rewatch the last scene to fully remember / grasp how his arc resolves, 'cause i do remember going during the credits, "hm, but his crew and ship got away, right? so he didn't have to give that witch 'everything,' right?"

but it seems likely his mental world was shattered and he lost the legacy he'd been working for and living in his whole life. so, neat. there are probably some really good lines and emotional moments around that which will seem even cooler with that in mind.

i liked that Maisie was smart and not just the-kid-in-the-way who has to be constantly saved, and the transition from her being gung-ho to scared and uncertain of the situation when Red first showed up was fast but believable.

and, i'll admit i was getting annoyed with "oh but everything's harmless. we've just been attacking first" oversimplified idea 'cause i've spent some time in places with literal mountain lions, and you gotta be on the lookout, especially if you have dogs, other pets, or kids, so i was grateful for the moment when Maisie, sitting in the gigantic conch shell, heard a roar in the forest and still grabbed a knife. i know it was early in the development of the "question whether something or someone is actually harmful / tradition isn't always right" theme, but i still relaxed

overall, the movie's theme is a bit oversimplified (and i know if i started comparing some of the movie's lines to certain real life idealogical movements, like history-deniers, that i'd be missing the actual points, but some of those lines distracted me too. but, at the same time, i also found the touch about propaganda at the end neat, with the royal family logo and how that was done), and i think How to Train Your Dragon probably went about its concepts more successfully from an animal behavior point of view, but it's a good movie that i'll happily recommend to others. (and i could never really get into the HTTYD movies, either, but that's another personal nitpicky thing, where i suspect i just don't like the more realistic animated movements and physics and a few other minor things lol, so i'm happy to have this movie now 'cause i like it a lot more)

as always, comments welcome, especially comments that disagree or that mention things i skipped over! (yeah, i unfortunately don't have much to say about Sarah Sharpe other than SHE'S SO COOL.) or just someone mutually happily screaming about the movie! remember, i did have happy caps locking at the start of this posts 'cause there's a lot of awesome stuff in this movie!! i appreciate comments and always find them interesting

edit: almost added these to the tags but i didn't want to spoil the creature's tentacles lol 'cause those were DOOOOOOPE

EDIT 2:

RIGHT

YEAH THIS MOMENT. THIS MOMENT WINS FOREVER AND EVER THIS WAS SO COOL YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH

[cal-kestis]

If I Could Never Give You Peace

(Javier Peña x Female Reader)

Gif by @pedropcl​ [original gifset]

Summary: Two years after resigning from the DEA, Javi finds himself in Los Angeles, haunted by glares of gunshots and blood-stained hands. He’d succumbed to the idea that he’d never have peace — doesn’t deserve it after everything he did in Colombia. Then, she moves in next door and maybe, he thinks, things could be different. “I hope this doesn’t scare you,” she whispers, her fingers still tracing shapes over his head. “But I care about you, Javi, a lot. I think I could fall in love with you someday...” She exhales, a quiet, shaky sound. “I think I’ve already started.” Word Count: 4,357 A/N: A Reader-insert one-shot with a nameless female reader. No “Y/N” or "you," but the reader can be anyone. Inspired heavily by Taylor Swift’s “Peace.” How many TS references can you find? Lol. Tags: Fluff, Angst (with a happy ending), Mentions of death (but no one dies, I promise), Alcohol, Cigarettes

[Read on AO3]

The rain is always gonna come if you're standing with me... All these people think love’s for show, but I would die for you in secret... Would it be enough, if I could never give you peace? — Taylor Swift, Peace —

When Javier Peña handed in his DEA badge and gun two years ago, he knew he couldn’t stay in Texas. Not forever.

Texas held too many familiar faces, old friends calling him a hero when he felt like a villain. It held too many ties to an old version of himself he’d rather not remember… muddied images of him with a beautiful woman, an abandoned altar, and a shattered promise. No, he couldn’t stay. Not even for his father.

So, Javier Peña and the unwelcomed overcast of his nightmares found a one-bedroom apartment in sunny Los Angeles.

In time, he realized he needed the city: constant motion, endless traffic, and hoards of busy people who would never remember his face. He could blend in. He could be alone.

He could have a clean slate.

But each night, glares of gunshots flashed behind his eyelids and invisible bloodstains marred his calloused palms as if to remind him:

He could never have peace.

Then, she moved in next door.

The first time he saw her, he only caught a glimpse. She and her boyfriend, he assumed, held towering stacks of brown boxes in front of their faces — sweating as they lugged the dusty weight into the empty space.

For a moment, he considered offering some neighborly help but decided against it — When have you ever cared about being a good neighbor, Javi? — closing himself in his quiet apartment with a glass of whiskey.

The second time he saw her, she came knocking on his door the next night.

“Hi, neighbor,” she smiled brilliantly. And for a split second, he swore he felt something foreign flutter in his stomach, but dismissed it as the after-effects of spoiled dinner. “I just moved in next door and wanted to introduce myself.”

He could not take his eyes off her. His gaze stayed glued to a small bead of sweat trailing a slow path down from her hairline, where she’d pulled it back with a makeshift scarf-headband. The droplet slipped down her cheekbone, over a smudge of dust that had settled in from her moving boxes. It drifted down the curve of her jaw, dipping into the slope of her neck until finally hiding away below her tank top. And by some miracle, she only needed to repeat her name for him once before he came out of the trance.

“Sorry.” He gulped, removing the cigarette dangling from his lips. “Javier.”

He extended his hand and she met him halfway. Soft. So soft.

“Good to meet you, Javier.” She smiled again. Flutter. “I’m sure you’re busy. Just wanted to say hi. I’ll see you around.”

And just like that, she swiftly turned on her heel to walk the few steps back to her door, bare feet strutting off, flaunting her daisy dukes, and — God help him, he’s a man and she’s beautiful — he stared.

The nail in the coffin?

When she opened her door and gave him one last smile over her shoulder, she winked.

No, he could never have peace.

—

After that, he hardly ever sees her.

Part of him feels relieved, unduly wary of the strange flutter he’d feel just thinking of her name. The other part, the traitorously curious part, dreams of catching another glimpse of her glistening skin or a quarter note of her honeyed voice. He’ll never admit it out loud, but he finds himself often wondering if her boyfriend gets to enjoy her sun rays and melodies. Lucky bastard.

He blames his roaming thoughts on the fact that it’s… been a while.

This is what you wanted, he’d remind himself when he’d wake to an empty bed — a stark contrast to his time in Colombia. This is the way things should be.

Just when he starts to believe those words, he finds her crumpled on the floor in front of her apartment — the contents of her purse strewn across the hardwood beside her, palms pressed firmly against her eyes. One tiny sniffle and a tremble of her shoulders, and he melts into a puddle beneath her muddy sneakers.

“Hey,” he whispers tentatively, voice raspy with cigarette smoke.

She jolts at the sound, immediately wiping her face with her sleeves and plastering on a saccharine smile.

“Javier,” she tries to say, but her voice breaks on the vowels. “Sorry, I was just— rough day. And to top it off, I think I left my keys inside. I tried Jerry but no luck.”

“Jerry’s a shit landlord,” he sighs, earning a nod from her. He takes out an old, faded receipt from his pocket and kneels in front of her, finding a pen amongst her spilled belongings. “Try this number. He’s usually fast. Can get you back in your apartment tonight.”

He hands her the scribbled receipt and she takes it with a real smile, albeit small. “Thank you, Javier.”

He nods, a tiny dimple forming in one tanned cheek, before getting up to unlock his apartment. The door clicks but he stands there for a moment longer, listening to her waning sniffles as she throws her things back into her bag. His eyes screw shut tightly, a silent war waging behind his forehead, his fingertips feebly trying to rub it away.

He sighs long and heavy when he realizes which part of him has won.

“Would you... like to come inside my place while you wait?” He mutters, mainly to the floorboards. “I’ll put on a pot of coffee.”

“Okay.” Her smile is warm like the sun, despite the cloud of tears still glazed over her eyes. “But you don’t strike me as a cream and sugar kind of guy.”

“No,” he admits with an amused smirk. “But I’ve got some old whiskey, older milk, and a phone you can use, toll-free.”

“Thanks, Javier,” she sniffles. “Coffee sounds nice. But hold the booze and tainted milk.”

And that’s how she ends up in his apartment, sitting at his small dining table, slowly sipping from his coffee mug, using his landline to call the locksmith.

Maybe it’s the caffeine or the three (stolen) pink packets of sugar she found in her purse (“It’s not stealing. Diners offer dozens of them in cute little boxes, I mean practically gift-wrapped, and I modestly accepted three.”), but coffee gets her talking the way alcohol coaxes even the darkest secrets from iron-barred lips. She just broke up with her boyfriend. Or he broke up with her — found some younger, hotter-than-her aspiring actress in Hollywood and left her in the dust of the boxes she’d just unpacked.

“Sorry,” she whispers. “You’ve been so nice. Really, Neighbor of the Year,” she laughs, but he thinks it sounds off. He wants to hear the real thing. “And here I am, taking up your space, drinking your coffee, and dumping all my problems on the table. Tell me if I’m talking too much, Javier. I tend to—”

“Javi,” he says, furrowing his brows as if mildly stunned by the two syllables he just spoke. She looks confused. “You can... call me Javi, for short. And I don’t mind listening.”

“Javi,” she tests the name on her tongue, smiles. His stomach flutters. “A good name for a good guy.”

The argument dies on his tongue the minute he thinks it, even though she’s horribly, terribly wrong.

Sometimes you gotta do bad things to catch bad people.

If she knew...

“I should be out of your hair in 20 minutes anyway,” she says, breaking him out of his dark reverie. “Locksmith’s on his way.”

When she finally gets back into her own apartment, Javi jostles her doorknob, double-checks the lock, and knocks on wood for good measure.

“Find your keys?”

“Got ‘em!” She chirps, jingling her lost keys. “I’m gonna have to memorize that number.”

“I’m next door, too, if you ever need anything.”

“Me too. I can lend you some sugar for your sad-man, bitter coffee,” she jokes. “Thanks again, Javi.”

He sends her a tight-lipped smile and a short nod, a familiar weight settling in his chest as he turns back to his lonely apartment.

“Would you like to come in for dinner?” She asks, quiet and suddenly timid. “I’m no chef, but I’ve never made a spaghetti I couldn’t tolerate.”

He opens his mouth to refuse but she beats him to the punch. “It’s the least I can do after you helped me out. Please?”

And it’s the way she asks that gets him. The way “please” seems to fall from her lips like an unanswered prayer. He wonders, maybe she’s just as lonely as him.

So, he walks into her apartment, she smiles, and his stomach flips.

—

Months pass by with this new routine. He joins her for dinner at least once a week, if their schedules allow. If not at the local diner where she infamously loots sugar, it’s usually at her place. For one thing, although it’s usually pasta, she tends to have more appetizing (read: edible) groceries stocked up than him. But if he’s being honest, something about her apartment just feels more like… a home.

Framed smiles of her and her loved ones line the walls. With each visit, he finds himself studying a new one, imagining the story behind each snapshot. (He noticed after their first dinner, she’d thrown out the photos of her ex, replacing them with Polaroids of the city.) Piles of pillows stack up neatly on her couch, vibrant hues and patterns decorating the space. He adores the soft waves of music always floating around her space. She plays a different record each time, but somehow, each one compliments the sweet tones of her voice perfectly.

Her place feels brighter than his too, and he’s not sure if it’s the east-facing windows or if it’s just her.

Soon, he doesn’t need to decode the photos on the walls anymore. She tells him more than she’s told anyone before — about her hometown, her family, what she studied in college, her travels, her favorite books, her irrational fears, her dreams.

He tells her considerably less, especially when it comes to his time in Colombia.

For now, she doesn’t mind. She likes the way he watches her when she talks — brown eyes soft and warm, brows pinched together as he takes in each word, the ghost of a grin tugging at one corner of his lips when she gestures dramatically.

He realizes, one night after dinner, he comes home smiling now. And he thinks the nightmares have started dwindling, ever since that first dinner.

Maybe, he lets himself imagine. Things could be different.

—

He calls for you over and over, shouting until his throat burns and the echo of his frantic voice pounds in his ears.  

“Where are you?” He screams.  

The narrow hallway is dark, familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. He crushes his body into the hard wall, arms sliding roughly against cold brick as he tries to keep himself concealed. The gun in his hand feels icy and impossibly heavy, and his arms tremble as they lift the weapon higher, rounding the corner.

“Llegas tarde, Peña,” a deep, gravelly voice sneers. “You’re too late.”

“Tómame!” Javier yells. “Tómame en su lugar.”

“You would die for her?” The voice chuckles. “Llegas tarde.”

The voice’s shadow moves, revealing a smaller shadow crumpled on the floor — lifeless.

“Javier! Javier!” A distant voice chants, accusing him. Boom! Blaming him. Boom!

“Javier!” Boom!

The pounding sound wakes him up with a jolt, and his sweat-slicked chest rapidly rises and falls as he reaches for the gun inside his bedside table.

Slowly, Javier creeps to the front door where the loud pounding started. But when he peers into the peephole, he only finds her — looking as tired and distressed as he feels. A wave of relief floods through his overheated body.

She’s wrapped up in a blanket, a worried look wrinkling her forehead.

He puts his gun down in a drawer and lets her in.

“What time is it?” He asks.

“Almost 4 in the morning.”

“What’s wrong?” He demands, suddenly worried about why she’d be waking him this early.

“You tell me,” she says, frown lines still etched by her eyes — mirroring his own tired marks. “I heard you yelling. I was worried, Javi.”

“It was...” he starts, squinting as the images flash in his mind again. “Just a dream.”

It only takes one glance into his eyes for her to reach out to him, pulling him in by his neck until he nuzzles into hers.

He breathes her in, holds her like he’s not sure she’s real, like she might be gone tomorrow. “It was just a dream,” he echoes, but he’s not sure who he’s trying to convince.

“It was just a dream,” she repeats after him.

She pulls him by his hand toward his couch, sitting down before patting the space beside her. And just this once, he allows himself to let his head rest in her lap, lets her drape her fuzzy blanket over him, lets her soft fingers draw slow circles in his hair, lets her lull him to sleep with mumbled whispers he can’t quite make out, and lets her ward off the lurking darkness like a nightlight.

He’s asleep before he can hear the quiet secret that spills from her lips.

“I hope this doesn’t scare you,” she whispers, her fingers still tracing shapes over his head. “But I care about you, Javi, a lot. I think I could fall in love with you someday...” She exhales, a quiet, shaky sound. “I think I’ve already started.”

She comes over to his apartment more frequently after that. Whether to bring him dinner or just sit on his couch in comfortable silence, she doesn’t like to leave him alone.

And maybe, she’d rather not be alone either.

—

He doesn’t remember how she convinced him, but here he is... sitting at a crowded bar drinking water, watching his tipsy neighbor bouncing alone on the small dance floor.

Every so often, some cocky drunk comes up to put his hands on her waist and tries to dance with her, but she plasters on a faux smile and shakes her head at them, muttering something while nodding in Javier’s direction. Each time, they sulk away and he chuckles.

Finally, she bounces over to him, tugging at the sleeve of his leather jacket.

“Dance with me, Javi. Please,” she draws out the word, an octave higher than normal.

And despite himself, he follows her voice like a sailor enthralled by a siren’s song.

She puts her arms around his neck, swaying her body against his. And then she shouts over the music, “I’m so glad we’re friends.”

And the heart on his sleeve falls straight to the floor, clanging loudly in his ears like metal.

‘Friends’ is more than you deserve, he reminds himself.

But then she continues, resting her head against his chest, her index finger coming up to tap a tantalizingly slow beat over his collarbone. “Good friends,” she sighs, lifting her gaze until her chin digs into his heart, her lips just inches from his. “Really… good… friends.”

She’s kissing him before he can even process the feeling. And despite his better judgment, he lets her. She’s everything warm and soft and good, with just a hint of alcohol — and he’s what you get when you turn those words upside down, jumble the letters, and crumple the paper into a jagged ball. But he craves the way her curves somehow fit perfectly against his cold, shattered edges. And he knows he shouldn’t.

So, when he feels her tongue trace along the seam of his mouth, he gently pulls away, hands rubbing soothing circles on her shoulders.

“You’ve had too much to drink, cariño,” he says. “Let’s go home.”

“Okay,” she whispers, smiling with half-lidded eyes, drawing her finger across his mustache then below his ever-pouting lip.

She’s passed out in his car by the time they’re back home. When he unlocks her apartment door for her, she stays latched onto his arm as he turns to leave.

“Stay,” she whispers.

“I—”

“Please?” She asks, in that way he knows he can’t fight. “I don’t want to be alone.”

And just like that, the door closes behind him and he stays.

He finds her an oversized shirt to change into, helps her wipe the smudged mascara off her face, and holds her until the sun rises.

When she wakes, the space beside her is empty but warm and indented, the shape of his body lingering in the sheets. A full glass of water, ibuprofen, and the phantom taste of Javi’s lips are the only other traces of her really… good... friend.

—

He’s not avoiding her… per se. But it’s a long, lonely week later when he sees her again, on an uncharacteristically rainy Sunday outside their apartment building.

“I just got home,” she blurts after standing there dumbfounded for a good minute. She nods to the soaked brown paper bags in her arms. “Groceries. Uh, obviously. Were you...?”

“Forgot my umbrella,” he answers.

“Same,” she chuckles awkwardly, droplets hanging on her lashes and the ends of her hair, only partially covered by her hood. “Obviously.”

“Here, let me help you.” He takes the bags from her, keeping the door open with his foot as he waits for her to head inside.

“Thanks, Javi-er.”

He follows her upstairs silently, his wet, squeaking shoes punctuating each slow and heavy step.

“I can—”

“Let me just—”

They fumble and dance around each other in her doorway as he sets her bags in her apartment. And, as if to torture herself, she decides to stand under her door frame when he leaves to grab his umbrella, waiting the longest minute of her life for him with a forced smile.

He waves his umbrella at her after locking his door. “I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah.”

He nods and walks back down the stairs.

“Javier, wait.”

He pauses, his back still facing her, drenched shoes balanced on two different steps.

“Can we talk?” She hates the way her voice sounds when she asks, tinny and trembling. Clearing her throat, she clarifies, “About what happened... at the bar?”

He sighs, screwing his eyes shut tight and rubbing his forehead.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” he says, low and barely audible as the rain starts picking up outside. And he walks away.

She’s stunned still, watching as his figure shrinks with each step he takes away from her. He’s already out of the building by the time frustration fuels her feet to follow him into the rain.

“Like hell there’s nothing to talk about,” she yells over the downpour, hair quickly sticking flat to her face. “Javi, we kissed!”

“You were drunk,” he says, just loud enough for her to hear, still walking.

“I wasn’t drunk,” she argues to his back, remembering with perfect clarity exactly how his lips felt on hers. “Just a bit braver. Javi, stop! Look at me. Please.”

And like clockwork, he turns slowly but doesn’t move any closer.

So, she closes the distance to stand beside him under his umbrella, taking in his features without the obscurity of rain.

“What are you running from?” She wonders, reaching for his fidgeting hand. “I would never hurt you. I—”

The line between his brows looks deeper than usual, as if they’d been stuck in that pinched position for weeks. Shadows lay in rings beneath his eyes, accompanied by smaller lines that carry untold stories she hopes he’ll entrust her with someday. His mouth is parted just slightly, as if to say something he knows could change everything.

And it does.

“I have to go.”

Her hands are empty and wet when he leaves. And the rain buries his parting words into the pavement.

I don’t want to hurt you.

—

She doesn’t hear from him for two weeks. Doesn’t even catch a glimpse of him.

The rain sticks around longer than usual for Los Angeles, making her apartment feel cold and gloomy. But maybe, it’s just missing him as much as she is.

Then, while she’s folding her laundry one night, she hears his door rattle and practically bolts to her own. He’s there. Keys in hand, rolling luggage in the other, hair tousled like he’s been pulling at it with his fingers. He looks at her when she opens her door, just for a beat too long, before hiding away in his apartment.

She sighs, closing her door in defeat.

But just as she starts getting ready for bed, she hears two knocks at her door, heart beating rapidly as she slowly makes her way to open it.

“Hi, neighbor,” he greets her softly, and the sound of his voice after so long without it nearly brings her to tears.

“Where did you go?” She asks. But she really means, Why did you leave?

“Texas,” he says. “I... needed to see my dad.” But he really means, I was scared.

“Oh.”

“Can I...” he mutters. “Can I come in please?”

She hesitates for only a second before stepping aside and he looks around like he hasn’t seen the inside of her apartment hundreds of times already.

He stops near her bedroom, where a new picture hangs proudly: a goofy, blurry photo of him stashing three pink packets of sugar in his shirt pocket.

“It’s the only photo you’ve let me take of you,” she says quietly, standing next to him with a wistful smile on her face. “I miss our diner dates.” But she really means, I miss you.

He doesn’t respond, just silently walks to her couch and sits, fingers rubbing circles into his forehead.

Minutes roll by slowly as she watches him from the other side of the room, battling with some invisible hand covering his mouth, holding on until the end to keep the words locked up.

“I’m not a good man,” he whispers, so softly she almost doesn’t hear it. “I’ve done things I’m not proud of... back in Colombia. I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready to tell you. I think a part of me is still there, fighting some unwinnable war. Hell, even before Colombia, I—”

Muddied images of a beautiful woman, an abandoned altar, and a shattered promise flash in his mind.

“Fuck. I can’t shake it,” he says, looking up at her with red-rimmed eyes, waving the invisible iron shackles on his wrists to show her. “Any of it. The nightmares...” He recalls her shadowy body and a dark, menacing voice. “They’ve followed me for years. I—” he looks at her, eyes darting across her face. “I could never give you peace.”

His head hangs low and a wayward curl brushes against his forehead. Despite how much space he takes up on her couch, he looks so small, defeated —  the weight of his past crushing him into this tiny, torn, crumpled-up piece of paper covered in red-inked, scratched-out sentences.

“Javi,” she whispers, but he doesn’t meet her eyes. So, she crosses the room and kneels in front of him, her palms reaching for his cheeks and lifting his gaze to hers. “Javi, who said anything about peace?”

The wrinkles deepen between his brows as he studies her, tries to understand what she means in the cloudy orbs of her eyes.

“The past is the past. We’ve all done things we can’t speak of. And sometimes at night, we live it all again. God knows I’m far from perfect. But I know you’re a good man, Javi. I see you,” she tells him, stroking the curves of his cheekbones with her thumbs.

“I’m not—”

“Do you trust me?” She interrupts his argument. He stares at her, blinks, before nodding once.

“Then trust what I’m saying. You’re not perfect. But you’re good.”

His eyes close as soon as she sees water beginning to pool behind his lashes.

“I’m not asking for peace. As long as I get to be with you, it would be enough.”

And then his lips are crashing into hers, pulling her into his lap until he’s covered in her. The sound he makes when they touch is devastatingly beautiful, like she’s a balm soothing his freshest wounds and healing his oldest scars. It feels like his entire body has exhaled — lungs deflated, bones liquified, mind released from a decades-old straitjacket. If not for gravity, he could float from the way his stomach is fluttering. His shoulders lower and he sighs as if he’d been holding his breath for his entire life until this moment.

He’s drowning in her, submerged to the top of his head. But he can finally breathe.

“I’m sorry I ran,” he whispers into her skin. “I’m sorry I left, cariño,” he kisses just below her ear. “My dad said I was the biggest asshole on the planet for leaving. I’m sorry, baby. So sorry,” he licks the seam of her lips.

“Mi alma, you have no idea,” he sighs when she parts her lips for him. “How much I love you.”

And she captures the words on her tongue, kissing him with a ferocity that says, Yes, I do.

“Want to know a secret?” She gasps when his lips trail down her neck. Her voice is barely a whisper, as feather-light as her fingertip skating across his shoulder.

He hums, a soft, lazy smile stretching his lips wide, so wide.

“I don’t think it’s possible,” she says, staring into his deep brown eyes. “That I’ll ever love anyone more than I love you, Javi.”

Her finger stops, retracted to shield herself after such a heavy confession. His eyes blink slowly, head lifting off the couch cushion.

He doesn’t say a word. He only stares at her, the softest smile on his face — his edges blurring into gentle curves in front of her very eyes.

“You’re it for me,” she finalizes.

And then they’re crashing into each other again and again and again.

End Notes: Look, it’s been almost 10 years since I sat in a Spanish class and watching Narcos only restored 3% of my limited vocabulary. Here’s what I got from Google Translate: “Llegas tarde.” = You’re too late. “Tómame!/ Tómame en su lugar.” = Take me!/ Take me instead. “Cariño” = Darling, honey “Mi alma” = My soul P.S. Please let me know if I missed any tags/triggers!

[lesbianelsas]

So I tried Better Things 2 years ago, but the weird racism with the grandma and Lenny Kravitz’s character and the weirdness about poc in general was like. A lot. So I didn’t continue but your posts made me want to give it another try and I love Pamela Aldons voice sm lol. I’m on s3 and I’m really loving it. Shows about ‘nothing’ especially from women’s pov are so underrated. I’m a huge fan of just talking, just because and I love that so many episodes are just ‘ok we’re gonna talk in the car/bedroom/living room/beach now’ like hell yeah! Sam is my fave though like I get that her kids are Like That on purpose(also being a teenage girl is rough ik)and it’s all a bit extra for tv but they grate on my nerves; I am hoping for a little chills as they grow up. Anyway this show is so witty and clever and well acted(like actual acting not like over/under emoting CW shit yk) so thanks for pushing me to try it again :)

EDIT: I started writing this reply earlier and then I found myself growing more lyrical (just like the show!) every time I came back to it lol. I didn’t wanna bother with being concise because on tumblr We Are Free, so I’m sorry this got so long and that I made you wait that long too, lol! I was very happy to receive your message and I’m super pleased that you rediscovered the show and my 5 note gifsets! :)

EDIT 2: There might be slight “spoilers” in this, but then again it’s hardly a show that can be spoiled or relies on surprising twists. But I wanted to cover my bases regardless :p

But gosh you are right about the grandma racism etc - I have to admit I completely forgot about it before now, but your message vaguely makes me remember a plot like that indeed. That said, I still have absolutely zero recollection of Lenny Kravitz being ever on the show omg - my mind is a void! I suppose it has been 5 years, omg, time flies.

I looked up the description of the episodes to remember it further, and I assume you mean this specific episode?

Lol, I gotta say, it doesn't surprise me that that particular episode was one that was written by Louis CK, back when he was still involved. Of course that doesn't absolve the show or Pamela Adlon from any potential criticism about the way people of color are written or engaged with, especially further on, but, you know. He is a fucking weirdo. And I'm glad the series continued solely under her vision & supervision. Adlon has briefly talked about how massive the change has been, particularly from s2 to s3. I haven't quite watched the show with too much of a critical eye though, and of course my own whiteness hardly makes me the best judge. All that to say, I hope I haven't uncritically forgotten about any other weirdness!

But yeah I do love the show, and I love Adlon's voice. Better Things has such a kind approach when it comes to the ebb and flow of life and the infinite complexity of human beings. Maybe the good faith that inspires also influenced me to regard the show with that same good faith. Because when you watch it, you come away with this appreciation for life; life has good and bad, and life goes on, and life is funny. Part of that is due to how observational it is, I think. The pov is very grounded in Sam as a character, but her overall attitude is very laissez-faire, non-controlling. Going either "eh?" or "heh" as a coping mechanism for life's ups and downs. Sometimes wry, but in a caring way, never melodramatic, but also never cynical or dismissive. I've heard other people say that it contributes to making the show feel distinctly Jewish too, in tone - smarter people than me (more Jewish people than me :p) will be able to elaborate on that.

A while back, I described it as a cinematic gaze that is insistingly non-judgmental and patient. I think that also results in success when it comes to balancing the teenage kids' tantrums and their continuous growth. The kids get to be impossibly and painfully rude to their mom, like you said - but I felt that was more resonant than grating, precisely because the show portrays their lives in such a holistic way. What I mean is: there is a lot of love (or at least humanity) stored in seemingly random, but pointedly chosen uneventful moments, and that acts like a buffer for anything painful that happens, in a way. (Though, about the kids being rude - look forward to a show-stopping scene in season 5 that is gonna be incredibly satisfying.) There is a sort of love and connection that is formed just by being part of each other’s lives, right, even if a lot of what’s on the surface is conflict & miscommunication & strife. One might say that is a cynical view on family, but I also think it’s an inevitably loving one. So yeah, sometimes those kids behave like monsters and 3 minutes later they're hugging their mom and asking what's for dinner and there's just never any time to really have a resolution for any of it, because then the next day begins and people have to go to school or hang out with friends or go to work. “Life is what happens to you when you’re too busy to make any other plans". In that same regard, there is a bemused tranquility to the way agitation & frantic moments in the show just... fizzle out. Not because it’s unimportant, but because it is just part of the jazzy rhythm of daily life. Trading fondly between jarring imperfections and notes of harmony. And that approach genuinely neutralizes the pressure or shame that often feels like a constant companion when you're in the middle of life. There’s sometimes a lot of insight & connection buried under those attention-stealing emotions, and space for magical realism in the beyond. It all makes me look back on my own life, and think about my mom, and her mom, in a very soothed accepting way.

I feel like and "I want to elevate the mundane" are guiding lines for that directing & writing style. The scenes we see are almost always the hearty middles or in-betweens of a usual narrative, without introductions or feeling the need to explain what's going on, without wanting to put anything in a comprehensible arc. Life happens when you're in the middle of making chicken stock, too. But more on that later.

A lot of things happen, but the show resists the idea to assign /meaning/ to it, one way or another. Frankie can choose a dress at some point and a tux at another point and have sex with a boy at one point and flirt with a girl at another point and we won't be able to predict where that takes the character - it could mean anything or nothing but it matters all the same, it has value all the same - we'll just have to see what happens, and Sam lets it happen. Just like real life doesn’t have a "narrative" that retroactively makes a carefully curated series of experiences feel significant one way or the other. Some experiences will be evidence for a crucial revelation or decision later in life, and others were just dust in the wind - yet just as much part of life, and what makes a person whole, and a life rich. It’s not dead weight, it’s all alive, and that translates to how organic character “arcs” on the show feel. They make sense retroactively, but it rarely feels like it’s build up in a forward thinking way, which is unlike the way storytelling usually feels (for the record, that has its value and appeal too). It's just genius how this show has been able to capture that.

As for the acting & directing, it's incredible right? A friend of mine asked me a while back whether it was all improvised, because it felt so authentic and natural. And then I found this beautiful interview answer by Adlon:

DEADLINE: People saw so much of you in Sam Fox — and not just because you co-created the show, but from the parallels to your own career, your own family and more. But this was no reality show, it was tightly scripted …

ADLON: It is carefully scripted and down to the last detail, and everything is decided beforehand. But the thing that happens is, on the day, I will be in the restaurant or something shooting the scene, right, and I’ll look at the waiter. And I’ll be like, “Where are you from originally?” And he’ll be like, “Turkey.” And I’m like, “Did your mother ever sing you a lullaby when you were a little boy?” He says yes, and I say, “What was it?” and then he sings it for me. And then all of a sudden, I’ve upgraded this guy. My line producers are scratching their head, and we’ve just enhanced the scene. It’s a very fluid, organic, moving thing. It’s got a pulse. (via)

And yeah, while the variety of media is improving a lot, you still don't often see stories from the pov of menopause-age women (creatively & as the star) who also get to, you know, talk about menopause. Go /through/ it, “start” to “finish”, without it being an arc. Just, part of life. Casually, in between cooking, and driving around, and work, and children, and awkward moments, and connecting with friends, and life. Speaking of cooking, I liked this reflection on the importance of cooking in the show: 

“Whether she’s making borscht or chicken or a margarita, Sam’s attention to process and detail is sharp. She prepares sustenance and libations as an act of love, a form of comfort, a way to bring people together, an attention to self. And no matter what she’s making or who she’s making it for, the show lets us watch. What would seem unimportant on most shows becomes the focus. Her labor, her time, as a mom, as a person, is valued by her camera. It’s a cooking show where we’re all the winner because we get to witness something so simple and so human. [...] Sam’s relationship to food and to her children holds the same care, the same attention to detail, the same love of life, that she brings to all her interactions. It’s a sardonic tenderness. A feeling that this person is plenty aware of the fucked up-ness of the world and has decided to lead with pleasure and kindness anyway.” (via)

And like, you are right, that there's something about appreciating the "slice of life" of not just young people, or men. There is an intense humanizing power in the pov chosen for that, in the agency and interiority that comes with that. And while a lot of people would fairly argue that white women's pov is hardly underrepresented on tv these days, there is still a lot of taboo surrounding the concept of women... aging. And therefore imo there is a severe need to humanize that, but not in a pitying way, but in a way that exudes vitality, instead.

I'm reminded of this thread, a story told by actress Claudia Black, about how actor James McAvoy unexpectedly made her feel seen & appreciated, in her craft. She talked about how life can get awfully small for single moms - about feeling invisible, as a woman nearing 50. And it's interesting, because she said that while the "minutiae of life" can be adorable and parenthood fulfilling in its own way, the key point of her thread was that she also really struggled with... waning ambition & dreams & pride, as a consequence of aging, and perhaps the priorities demanded by motherhood - her life becoming "small". And that is often a distinctly female experience! Because we live in a society, lol, and work is still considered a male responsibility, while domesticity a female responsibility. I don't mean to romanticize work to contrast my point (because that can also be deafening and suffocating), but there is a specific... sacrificial smallness to domesticity that can make some women feel like their footprint in life /narrows/ gradually as life goes on, like their /value/ pales as they age. Or society treats them that way, even when they don’t think of it that way.

And it's interesting to think about how "Better Things" as a show... somehow... combined those two things. On the one hand, it is a show that embraces the ebb and flow of life, meandering mundanity, the beauty of the little things, from the pov of a near-50 woman. Smallness can feel very big when you highlight serendipitous moments of human connection. Not to mention, the show’s final season focuses a little bit on how empty-nest-syndrome might affect Sam, as her children grow into tiny adults - and that feels like it speaks specifically to the issue I mentioned above. That a lot of mothers’ lives inevitably become about their children and that a lot of these women are suddenly confronted with parenthood has impacted their existential footprint. The choice to end the show on Sam’s solo happiness, as her “village” sings in the background, is therefore really powerful, I think. On the other hand, the show is also a showcase of CRAFT, craft of storytelling, craft of directing, /by/ a woman of 50. Pamela Adlon created all this, turned her voice and life into art. So there is this dual layer of appreciation and admiration. It's like the summum of body of life and her body of work - for now. And the rest is a meteor shower.

TLDR;

"Meandering but structurally complex in deceptive ways; deeply tied to the singular point of view of its star and creator; willing to unflinchingly center aging women, invisibilities literal and figurative. Will there ever be another show so unburdened by plot and premise as Better Things?[...] Adlon’s writing and direction—she’s directed every episode since the second season of the show—are, as much as anything, an act of curation. Each character, each plot point, each set piece, each LA space are like beloved objects strewn about Sam’s home, and as the show accumulates them, they belong to us viewers as well. To shriek in delight when a bit character from seasons earlier walks through the frame, to audibly gasp when a statue at the top of Sam’s staircase breaks—to watch Better Things is to live with these people. The show has a hoarder’s sense of narrative value. Nothing is unimportant, everything matters." (via)

Lol, I think this answer must contain the word “life” like 500 times. If you made it this far, thank you, and thank you for giving me an excuse to ramble mwhahhahahaha. One of my fave shows of all timeeeeeee

[woozapooza]

one gifset for every show I love 31/∞: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005–)

Pepe Silvia. This name keeps coming up over and over again. Every day Pepe's mail is getting sent back to me. Pepe Silvia! Pepe Silvia! I look in the mail. Well, this whole box is Pepe Silvia! So I say to myself, "I gotta find this guy. I gotta go up to his office. I gotta put his mail in the guy's goddamn hands. Otherwise, he's never gonna get it and he's gonna keep coming back down here." So I go up to Pepe's office and what do I find out, Mac? What do I find out? There is no Pepe Silvia. The man does not exist, okay? So I decide, "Oh shit, buddy, I gotta dig a little deeper." There's no Pepe Silvia? You gotta be kidding me! I got boxes full of Pepe! All right, so I start marching my way down to Carol in HR and I knock on her door and I say, "Carol! Carol! I gotta talk to you about Pepe." And when I open the door, what do I find? There's not a single goddamn desk in that office! There...is...no...Carol in HR. Mac, half the employees in this building have been made up. This office is a goddamn ghost town.

[mckkachins]

46-49 for the ask game 💗

46. ever gotten a really sweet compliment over a set?

YEAH!! i mean i read all the tags on my gifsets so i know if someone just said “pretty!” in the tags and that alone means a lot to me. but then sometimes people also send me direct asks to my inbox complimenting a set and i’m like. *laughs nervously* stop that lest i fall in love w you. uhh i honestly got incredibly overwhelmed last time this happened after i posted the triple rainbow set that’s pinned rn LOL. yall are so amazing and supportive it’s genuinely super heartwarming for me.

47. any advice for novice gif makers/people who want to start making gifs?

mm so vilma @maxguevra posted a nice lil post on this earlier this morning and imma just link hers.

but in addition to everything vilma said, i gotta be honest about patience and time being the best teacher. i think a lot of gifmakers are like under pressure to constantly create or may feel this way, but it’s genuinely okay to take a long time to make something and take the time to add in more complicated effects. idk how many times i’ve thought to myself that ppl on here complimenting me by saying like “i could never do that!” actually most definitely CAN bc they are wayyyyy more talented than me, it just might take a shitton of patience. my longest gifset took over a week and a half to make but it was worth it bc i learned a LOT.

also an underrated tip: program keyboard shortcuts!! it saves a lot of time. i literally gif with my left hand on the keyboard and right hand on the trackpad/mouse. i have keyboard shortcuts programmed or reprogrammed to better fit my hand and also bc for some reason ps 2021 didn’t keep a lot of the same shortcuts from the last version of ps i had, ps 2018. some good keyboard shortcuts to program or get familiarized with: duplicate layer, merge layers, group layers, transform layer, warp, convert to smart object, repeat last filter, undo, redo, select all, etc.

48. how would you describe your giffing style?

WELLL..... to me i don’t really have one. i guess i want to try a new style with every gifset i make? idk i’m always trying new things so it’s hard for me to say if i have a definitive style (yet).

however when i said this last week @nuntox was like “ur style is 100000000 layers” so idk make of that what u will.

49. how much would you say you’ve improved since you first started giffing?

GOD. LIKE. SO MUCH???

my first gif didn’t even loop. that’s how bad it was flkajsdlkjasd bc i took screenshots manually and then put them into a .gif file. i didn’t even have photoshop!!! obv i never posted it, i was just trying to make a gift for a friend. and even when i did get photoshop and learned how to gif properly, the gifs i made were really bad lol

gif making asks

i’ll get to the rest of these when i make more progress on this cursed assignment flaksjdklasjd

[azoraahai]

content creator tag

hi so i’m late to tis trend as always, but i thought by starting the new year by doing this so here goes nothing! rules: answer the questions and then tag 10+ other creators to answer the questions! i was tagged by @bbbbbbbbbbbbbbb-8, thank u v much btw for tagging me!

first creation and most recent creation of 2020: first creation of 2020 is of course a tcw gifset of my mans, obi wan kenobi! also i just realized it’s been a while since i’ve done one of those sets whoops lol. my most recent creation of 2020 is this secret santa gifset of anakin skywalker from rots!

one of your favorite creations from 2020: oh god, it’s so hard to choose there are so many! i know this anidala + happiness by taylor swift  gifset is recent, but i really love how it turned out! ps crashed so many times while making it though, i wanted to yeet my computer off a cliff!!!

a creation you’re really proud of: obi wan and anakin + my tears ricochet by taylor swift gifset i made for my 4k celebration ( which i still havent completed bc i suck ). this gifset i’m really proud of because i was trying new things, and i love the end result!

a new style you tried this year and a gifset that uses it: this ahsoka tano character profile gifset! i’ve made similar stuff before, but this was a different kind of style i wasn’t very used to. still, i like how it turned out and it makes me realize how much i see myself in ahsoka as well bc we share a lot of the same things according to google!

your favorite coloring: ngl,,, i really like coloring star wars: rebels,,, even tho i hardly gif it. ahsoka’s iconic “i’m no jedi” scene and her defeating the inquisitor are very pretty colorings to me! also, this parallel gifset of anakin and ahsoka is a good one too!

a creation you think deserved more notes: i actually have a few that i spent a lot of time on and was a bit sad that they didn’t get a lot of attention. this centuries gifset really flopped, even though i really liked how it turned out. this really angsty harry potter gifset that i cried over. i probably have more, but i’m too lazy to check.

a creation with a favorite scene/quote: the unfinished episode of tcw quote with this scene,,,, god it makes me feel a lot of things! this is one of my saddest sets, but it’s one of my favorites!

a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it: i recently got into the lotr/hobbit trilogies and here’s my rainbow gifset for the lotr!

a creation you made that breaks your heart: fuck live action ahsoka, but this quote with animated ahsoka and anakin makes me wanna curl up in a ball and cry!!!! this harry potter gifset as well bc boy oh boy does it make me even more depressed! last but not least,,,, the clone wars series finale with this excerpt from the ahsoka novel,,,, just kill me it would hurt less.

a ‘simple’ creation that you really love: i guess this would be considered simple, but padmé’s outfits gifset is one i love a lot! i love the colorings, the scenes, the outfits, padmé, everything!

a creation that was inspired by another one (add both your creation and the one that inspired it!): i have two that i love! illicit affairs by taylor swift + anidala! here is the set i was inspired by my babe @ahskatano and here is the one i made! another is a hogwarts house gifset with quotes! here is the slytherin version created by @anakin-skywalker and here is the ravenclaw one i made!

a favorite creation(s) created by someone else: there are just SO MANY but lemme list my top favs. the lightsaber color series by @anakin-skywalker! the chaotic trio and the witcher episodes gifsets by @anya-chalotra who i absolutely love every single one of their gifsets like top tier!! this star wars + folklore from taylor swift gifset by @ahskatano is one of my all time favs i love it sm!

some of your favorite content creators from the year: i know i probably will forget some but @pedrc-pascal @anakin-skywalker @andthwip @dakotajohnsom @anya-chalotra @yenvengerberg @ahskatano @ewan-mcgregor @soka-tano @sersi @rise-of-ahsoka @obi--wans @obiwanobi @kenobiies

and for good measure, another a couple more creations of yours that you love: this tired space dad gifset that i impulsively made, ahsoka’s arms gifset bc that is good shit, dramatic siths being their dramatic selves gifset, another ahsoka novel excerpt gifset from tcw series finale, and ofc,,, i gotta include my bitch wife and the not explained plot of the darksaber being taken gifset from s2 of the mandalorian!

[luv4fandoms]

Earth Angel (GabrielXOFC) Part 2.2

Second part of chapter 2 because it was too big for Tumblrs limit.

And just in case you are coming across this before the first part...as I say in all the chapters...This doesn't fully follow the Supernatural timeline, somethings have been changed (like Gabriel's death in the au world cause it was stupid and I refuse to accept it lol) so just a heads up. This is also inspired by @askpsychocas 's Angel Courting Ritual post (which I use in my story. Askpsychocas if you want me to take those parts out let me know and I will). This story also has a Scott Pilgram vibe lol.

The link to the first part can be found below.

If you would like to be added to the taglist for this story let me know

Gif by @beneathgabrielswings , I couldn't find it on the Gif search but you can find the gifset here

Part 1...Part 2.1...Masterlist

Pairings: Gabriel x Original female character

Warnings: killing, talk of adultery, Gabriel being a charming/fluffy lil sh*t

Word count: (total) 8,725(this part)4,599

https://ko-fi.com/luv4fandoms

"A date?" I asked, quickly covering up my shock with a smirk of my own.

"Yeah, she only goes after couples right? So let's act like a couple" he explained. And for some reason his explanation slightly hurt.

'All for the case' my mind stated. 

"Yeah...Yeah sure that might help end this faster" I nodded, quickly stepping out of the car before Gabriel could read my expression. My emotions needed to get in check, quick, this whole week they had been in an uproar because of him and I still wasn't sure why.

"Well you could have at least let me open the door for you" Gabriel joked, I forced a smile and shook my head. 

"You gotta be quicker if you wanna do that" 

We headed towards the ticket booth and into the slightly long line, there were already a bunch of couples here, all either holding hands or cuddling into each other. Again I felt a sting of sadness, must be nice to have someone like that-but was it really real? Or was at least one of them simply playing a part? I must have been focused on my own thoughts for too long because I soon felt a hand in mine before a voice spoke up.

"Two please" I looked over at Gabriel as he handed the woman at the booth the money in exchange for our tickets. He thanked her and guided me through the gates, my eyes rested on our hands, how many years had it been since I simply held hands with someone? In this life simple things like that don't come often, and his hands were warm, far warmer than a humans, even if he didn't have giant wings, the heat alone would give him away. I watched his hand move, fingers turning to intertwine with mine before I heard him chuckle.

"Is this ok?"

"Huh?" I asked, looking up to meet his gaze, he gave me a soft smile, hand gently moving mine as if to gesture to what he was talking about. 

"O-oh yeah, yeah it's fine" I smiled before turning to look out at all the people.

"So a red head" I stated.

"Redhead" Gabriel confirmed before pulling me along. 

"I mean, while we're here" he said while gesturing to all of the game stalls.

"Would be a shame to not have a little fun"

"You know almost all of these things are rigged" I stated while looking at all the games, watching as so many people tested their skills in order to win prizes for their dates.

"Well I'm sure I can even out any cheating" he replied with a wink as he led me to a game, this one was the one where you knock down the cans, the one where usually the cans are weighted and the ball is far too light to do anything.

"Hello sir!" The overly eager carnie smiled at Gabriel.

"Hey kiddo, so how does this work?" Gabriel asked, playing dumb.

"Five dollars gets three tries, knock the top row off and get a small prize, the middle row gets a medium price and the bottom row gets a large prize." He explained as he took the money Gabriel handed him.

"See anything you like sugarplum?" He asked, looking back at me. 

"Surprise me sweetheart" I smiled, earning a smile before he turned back to the game and threw the first two balls, acting like the game was kinda difficult, only knocking a few off the top row, before he knocked the entire stack down with the last ball. 

"Saved by the last one" The teenager smiled

"What will it be sir?"

"Hmmm, how about...that" Gabriel told him, pointing to one of the large stuffed animals, the teen got it down and handed it to him.

"Thank you for playing!" 

Gabriel turned and handed me the prize...A giant stuffed wolf.

"Why thank you sir" I smiled and took it from him before he reached down and took my hand again.

"Why a wolf?" I asked, curious but having a feeling.

"Well we did first meet on that Werewalker case" he told me, confirming my thoughts.

"To commemorate our first meeting" I smiled down at the plush.

"And when I first started falling for you" he added with a grin making me roll my eyes.

"Whatever you say there Casanova" I smirked, forcing down the blush and feelings his words brought forth.

"Come one let's play another game"

"Oh but I thought they were all rigged" he smirked.

"They are...But they're still fun" I said with a small smile as we walked towards the balloon dart game, this one was run by a not so happy middle aged man.

"Five dollars gets you three darts, 1 dart wins a small prize, 2 darts a medium prize, and 3 a large prize" he droned on as I gave him the money.

"See anything you like sweetheart?" I asked Gabriel, mimicking his earlier words with a smile, earning a chuckle from him as he leaned against the small counter beside me, he looked through all the prizes before his eyes landed back on mine.

"Surprise me Sugar" I pulled my arm back and aimed, throwing the dart before a "pop" was heard once, twice, three times. 

"Remind me never to challenge you to a game of darts" he laughed.

"How do you think I make my money at bars?" I laughed.

"I figured men just threw money at you as a gift for being able to just lay their eyes on you" he spoke, stepping behind me and placing his hands on my hips, boy was he laying it on thick.

'Just for the case' I had to remind myself as I felt my heart speed up.

"So what will it be?" The man asked, clearly annoyed with us.

"Oh, right, sorry" I laughed, looking up.

"That one" I stated, watching as he pulled it down and handed it to me, Gabriel let go of me so I could turn and trade him the wolf plush for his plush, a yellow candy heart plush that simply read "sweetie". 

"Aw Sugarplum" he smiled.

"Figured it fit since I called you that when we first met...And you eat candy like it's going out of style" I told him as he once again took my hand in his,laughing along with him.

"I love it" he smiled, eyes meeting mine with such a softness that made me stop walking, he had never looked at me like that, not in all the times he almost insisted on eye contact. My gaze didn't break from his, even as my brain took notice of his wings stretching out, seemingly avoiding everyone who walked around us while he brought them closer, the extremely soft looking feathers almost grazing my arms before a voice broke our trance. 

"Hello my children, would you like to play a round?" I looked behind me to see a nun, my eyes widening a bit at the sight, a nun at a carnival? Running a stand? My expression must have portrayed my thoughts because the nun let out a soft laugh before explaining.

"We are taking donations for the church, you can play for free and still win a prize though if you'd like" she explained.

"Oh!"

"Just toss a ball into a cup and win a prize," she added.

"Let's give it a shot" Gabriel nodded, the nun smiled and handed us both five balls, and we both found out that the game was a bit more difficult, and I realized that Gabriel wasn't using any of his abilities, it seems he kept things honest when it came to nuns. Soon I ran out of shots, and Gabriel was on his last one, I watched as he threw it and it bounced off of the edge of one cup before coming to rest inside another.

"Congratulations!" The nun applauded, smiling at Gabriel before adding.

"What would you like?" 

"I'll let this lovely lady pick something," he replied, smiling at me and earning a smile from the nun.

"How about that?" I asked, pointing towards a small golden chain necklace that held a pair of gold wings, I would be lying if I said the winged being beside wasn't the reason for wanting the necklace, but I just wouldn't let him know that. Though I noticed his expression turn slightly shocked. The nun smiled and turned to grab the necklace, while I grabbed some money from my wallet. When she went to hand me the necklace she stopped upon noticing the money.

"Oh my dear I couldn't" she stated, looking from the hundred dollar bill to me.

"Please, I insist" I told her, but when she still didn't reach to take it.

"I didn't go to church, but I was raised in the faith, bible teachings, rosary, watching Mother Angelica every night" I laughed.

"We need people who fight against all the darkness" added with a smile, her face softened and a smile graced her lips.

"Bless you my dear child, the church thanks you more than words can say"

"Thank you sister, just doing my part" I told her, taking the necklace as she handed it to me. We walked away from the booth before Gabriel stopped.

"Allow me?" He asked, motioning towards the necklace.

"Oh, thank you" I smiled, taking the plushes and handing him the necklace, he walked behind me and gently placed it around my neck before clasping it. 

"So, what made you choose that?" He asked, and I had to quickly think of something. No one had yet mentioned his wings so I still figured it was forbidden to talk about. 

"I've always loved angel wing images, and I like gold so" I shrugged with a chuckle. He simply nodded, his expression almost…Disappointed, sad? Whatever it was I didn't like seeing it. 

"Here ya go, Sweetie" I smiled, handing him the heart, earning a small smile as he looked at it.

"Come on" he stated, reaching for my hand and smiling more when my hand met him halfway. We made our way to the cotton candy vender, still looking around for a woman that fit our description. 

"So do we see anyone she would most likely go after?" He asked.

"Almost everyone here" I noted, looking at all the couples.

"We just have to look for couples with a man who has wandering eyes" I added.

"Why do you think she goes after unfaithful men, easy targets?" He asked

"That or she herself was screwed over by a guy" 

"So she's taking it out on any guy she can?"

"Maybe she sees it as saving these women from suffering the same way she did" 

"A little extreme" 

"Says the man who made a frat kid believe he was abducted by aliens"

"Dean-o told you about that? That was funny"

"Funny, but extreme" I laughed

"To each their own" he replied, sticking his tongue out before walking up to the vendor and buying the biggest bag of cotton candy.

"So...Can I ask why this case almost seems personal to you?" Gabriel asked hesitantly while he held the now opened bag out to me. Sighing I reached in and grabbed some.

"Like I said, it's a long boring stor-"

"We hope you two are having better luck" Sam's voice rang out behind me, spinning around. I noticed Sam still looking around but Dean eating his own bag of cotton candy.

"Want some?" He asked, holding the bag out. Opening my mouth to answer I heard a high pitched rumble come from beside me, one that was almost at a tone people wouldn't be able to hear, and after a moment I realized it was almost a sort of growl coming from...Gabriel?

"Na I'm good, Gabriel got us some, thanks though" I smiled before reaching into the bag Gabriel was holding and grabbing some of the candy. Another high pitched noise met my ears, this one more of a pleased hum. Dean simply shrugged and kept eating.

"No luck here, I haven't even seen a red head in this crowd" I told Sam.

"Looks like you've had some luck" a female voice stated, looking over I noticed Claire and Jody. Claire looked down at the giant wolf before looking at me with a raised brow.

"Gabe won it for me" I shrugged.

"So you two just have a date in the middle of a case?" She asked with a smirk.

"We are hoping it will draw her out" I told her, she nodded but the look on her face screamed "you sure about that?".

"Well there are plenty of victims to choose from" Jody stated while we all looked around at the couples.

"If only we knew who was willing to cheat" Sam sighed.

"Tell me about it" I sighed as well, reaching over to grab more cotton candy...Only to grab nothing. I looked over and noticed Gabriel was no longer beside me, quickly looking around I noticed him walking behind the wall and stage that were set up for a magic show that was held earlier in the day. 

"Gabriel?" I spoke, loud enough to catch everyone's attention.

"Where the hell is he going?" Dean asked before we all started walking towards where he went. We rounded the corner to see...Gabriel and a red headed woman kissing, his hands resting on her hips and hers on his shoulders. A flood of emotions washed over me, many that I never wanted to experience again.

"Well it's about time you showed up" I stated, not even trying to hide the anger in my voice, I didn't know why I was feeling it so strongly, but I was, and it was annoying. I quickly tossed the wolf onto a nearby bench that I had noticed Gabriel left the heart and pulled out my gun, which luckily, held witch killing bullets. We watched as they slowly broke apart, before she turned to look at me.

"You really have gone downhill with your tastes Gabriel, you had me, and now you're with some human hunter trash? Pity" 

"Wait...you two?" Sam asked

"Were together, once upon a time yes, though Gabriel has always been the wild one of his family, never staying in place for too long, took me awhile to track him down" 

"Great, two exes in two weeks" I stated with an eye roll.

"Which one was it?" She asked, turning in his arms so her back was against his chest, his arms still around her.

"He had so many, I got rid of quite a few myself" she added

"If he has such a long list why do you want to be with him?" I asked.

"I could ask you the same thing" she snapped before looking over her shoulder at him.

"He made me feel wanted" I didn't like the feeling that was burning in my chest, seemingly wanting to claw its way out as I watched them look at each other, I wanted her away, far away, and that feeling was very new to me.

"But like I said, I've gotten rid of many of his exs already, a little human won't be so hard" she stated, throwing her hand up just as I felt my body being lifted and thrown backwards. I could hear the others yell beside me as they too were thrown, the wind rushed past as I felt a warmth wrap around my back, my body slamming into a steel pole but not feeling any of the impact, almost as if I had an airbag around me. I fell to the ground with a thud, my vision going blurry for a moment, I watched her drag Gabriel along as I tried to regain breath.

"Should have expected that" Dean groaned before I felt someone help me up.

"You ok?" Jody asked

"Yeah I think so" I told her, taking a deep breath and looking around.

"Where did they go?" 

"I saw them go that way" Claire pointed towards all the fun houses that sat at the very end of the fairgrounds.

"Let's go," Dean called, already running forward, we all set off, stopping once we got to the funhouses, all three of them.

"Sam you go with Jody and Claire, I'll take this one, Liz you take that one" Dean instructed, being met with no objections we all took off. I slowly stepped into the mirror maze, my gun at the ready. 

"I always hated these things" I sighed, using one hand to feel around for where I was supposed to go.

"Poor little hunter" her voice rang out, echoing off of the mirrors.

"You know what one of my powers are? I can see your past, what traumas have cut you and left scars"

"That's nice, do you want a cookie?" I snapped.

"Aww she acts brave, but is she really? Or does she just put up that front to cover the real truth?" I found myself in a large room that was completely encompassed in mirrors, and as I looked around I noticed her reflection in one, I quickly fired and watched as the glass broke to reveal nothing.

"The real truth that she's just a prude" another mirror, another shot.

"Ugly" another mirror, another shot.

"Dimwitted" another mirror, another shot.

"Pathetic excuse for a woman who will eventually die alone" another mirror, another shot, this time though, when it shattered it revealed an open door that led out into the woods that stood behind the fair. Bolting forward I quickly entered the woods, stopping once I got a little ways in, I listened for any sign of movement, my gun at the ready, I only had one bullet left. Just as I heard footsteps behind me I felt arms wrap around mine, pulling them back and restraining me. I tried to move but it felt like I was fighting against a boulder, looking back I was met with those honey eyes, now darker, like any trace of Gabriel was gone.

"Gabe" I spoke, but he didn't respond.

"Neat little trick huh? Something I have been perfecting, makes him do whatever I want"

"Let him go" I spoke through gritted teeth.

"Oh no can do little girl, see this one is the one that I'm not going to let away again. Now that I finally perfected the spell, he's mine forever" 

"The other men, they-"

"Were they just test subjects? Yes, though they were highly useful test subjects. Had to start out with hex bags first, then the better I got, well.."

"You ruined lives!"

"Oh boo hoo, you of all people should know how fickle human men can be, don't give them what they want and they'll find it someplace else. Why do you think I like my men to be a bit more...Supernatural" she smiled, stopping her circling and halting beside me. She leaned over and started kissing Gabriel again, my anger beginning to bubble over once more, but it quickly turned into that familiar hurt when I realized-he was kissing her back. I turned my head, my eyes landing on my gun which lay at my feet.

"Now Gabriel, be a good boy...Kill her" she stated, backing away, and I stumbled forward, landing on my hands and knees when Gabriel pushed me away. I turned around, gazing up at him as he slowly made his way forward, towering over me. His eyes never left mine, even as he kicked my gun, causing it to skid to a halt beside me. I could still hear her talking behind him, telling him to get it over with already, and I watched as he stopped at my feet.

"Gabe...I don't wanna hurt you" I told him, slowly reaching for my gun, if nothing else I would shoot him in the shoulder, maybe that would break the spell, even if it would take my last bullet.

"Get on with it!" She shouted.

"Sweetie" I spoke, watching as a blue light took over his eyes for a moment before I noticed his wings stretch out when he stood taller, rolling his shoulders back.

"Gabe?" I whispered, his eyes snapped back to mine, the honey color back to being golden instead of dark. He mouthed a word, and it took me a moment to realize what he was saying.

One

Two

Three! He dove down as I lifted my gun and shot, watching as it hit the witch right between the eyes, she stumbled back, before slowly falling to the ground. I sighed, looking over at Gabriel who had landed on the ground next to me.

"Nice shot," he said with a small smile.

"Please tell me you weren't just playing along that whole time" I told him

"No Sugarplum, I really wasn't in control of myself-I didn't hurt you did I?" He asked, sitting up and looking me over.

"Na I'm fine, I was just wondering, because if you were, I was gonna shoot you in the foot" wide eyes met mine as I gave him an unimpressed look.

"You wouldn't"

"I would"

"...do you have bullets?"

"Be glad I don't" I replied, causing him to sigh and put his head on my shoulder.

"So how many crazy exs am I gonna have to fight?" I asked while looking at the limp body.

"You gonna fight my exs off me?" He asked, peeking up at me before letting out a slight laugh.

"Hopefully no more"

"Hopefully" I nodded just as I noticed the group running towards us. 

"What the hell happened?" Dean asked, looking between us and the body.

"Gabriel was under the spell, I chased them out here, he broke free and I shot her" I shrugged, Gabriel lifting his head from my shoulder.

"So what do we do now?" Claire asked, looking at the body.

"We'll get rid of...this" Sam said motioning towards the body.

"Claire, why don't you and Jody make sure no one heard any gunshots?" Dean said, the girls nodded and turned to leave, but not before Jody turned to me.

"Thank you"

"All in a day's work" I smiled back, taking Gabriel's hand as he helped me up.

"Need help?" I asked the boys, gesturing towards the body.

"We got it," Sam smiled.

"You go enjoy the rest of the fair, we'll meet you back at the motel" Dean thumbed back towards the festivities.

"You sure?" 

"Yeah, go on"

"Ok, I'll see y'all back at the motel" I smiled, taking Gabriel's hand and walking back towards the fair.

"Wait" he stopped before we got into the eyesight of the crowds, I watched as he disappeared and reappeared with the sound of his wings. He smiled as he handed me the wolf plush, holding onto the stuffed heart. I thanked him as I took it before he took my free hand and walked us into the crowd that seemed unknowing of what just happened not too far away.

"So, what else do you want to do?" He asked, looking over at me. I thought for a moment, looking around at everything before my eyes landed on a certain ride.

"The ferris wheel" I stated, watching as a smile graced his lips.

"Your wish is my command" he replied, leading me towards the ride.

"Let's not" I laughed, earning a raised brow from him.

"You shouldn't be under anyone's command, you're your own person, you should do what you want to do" I told him while we waited in line.

"Very well" he nodded

"But I want to take you on to the ferris wheel" he added with a laugh, earning a laugh from me as well. We climbed into our cart and waited for the ride to start, looking over at the night sky while we waited. 

"So...can I ask you something?" He asked after a moment.

"Bout what?" I asked, meeting his gaze.

"The things Cassandra said, in the mirror room, and in the woods-about fickle men"

"...Only if you tell me how come you and her split" I replied while we started to ascend.

"She was right when she said I used to be the type that never stuck around long, we had a thing, for a while, but she got possessive"

"Thought you liked possessive?" I smirked, referring to his reaction in the car earlier when I said I wouldn't share what was mine.

"There are two types, the get off my man only I can touch him like that...can be hot...But she was the controlling type...like remember how you said you would never tell a guy what he could or couldn't do...she was that type"

"Oh, the toxic kind" 

"Yeah, so I bolted"

"I don't blame you for that"

"So what about those things she said," he said after a moment. 

"A while back, about six years ago, three years after I started hunting, I met a guy. I had only slightly dated a few guys in my teens years, but here I was, twenty-one, and this guy came along...and at first seemed great. Remember how I said I wasn't "that kind of girl", that's because I'm waiting til I'm married to have sex...he didn't like that. What started out a good relationship turned into him getting angry when I wouldn't have sex with him...those things Cassandra said...Were things he would call me-Our relationship ended when I found out he cheated on me." 

"Between him, and my dad leaving my mom for a younger girl after twenty five years of marriage...I don't trust many guys" I told him, hugging the wolf tighter as I remembered everything, but that warm feeling I had felt for a second when I almost hit the pole earlier washed over me again, and I found myself turning to look at Gabriel before I even realized it. 

"No offence, but it sounds like you dated boys, not men" he smirked, referencing what I told him in the morgue on our first case. 

"I suppose your right" I laughed

"If it means anything, your ex is a complete idiot, and if you want I can totally make him think he got abducted by aliens" he smirked

"With slow dancing?" I asked, a smirk of my own.

"Hells yeah! Maybe even to My heart will go on" he replied causing us both to laugh.

"Can I ask you one more thing?" I asked.

"Shoot sweetcheeks" 

"When she threw us, I didn't hit the pole as hard as I should have...You were fighting the spell even then weren't you?"

"Yeah, when I saw her in the crowd I realized she was the witch we were looking for so I went to confront her, that's when she kissed me, and that's when the spell took hold, but I was fighting it the whole time"

"Well thank you, for fighting"I told him, leaning against his shoulder.

"Always Sugar" he stated, wrapping his arm around my shoulder as we both enjoyed the rest of the ride.

And there is part 2! I hope everyone enjoyed it! Let me know what you think and stay tuned for chapter 3!

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[blodreina-noumou]

nobody go tell them, I ain’t trying to start shit, or I’d just comment on the gifset, but these are not parallel moments

in the first gif, Bellamy watches Clarke get forcibly taken away by guards after he directly betrayed her to said guards. Clarke is going to be tortured for access to her memories. Bellamy is on the side of “the bad guys” and he actually could have done something to save Clarke, if he wasn’t so far up his own cult-indoctrinated ass.

in the second gif, Clarke watches Bellamy willingly give himself up to save Octavia. Bellamy is willing to die and sacrifice himself to protect his little sister. (it’s a bad plan, because Idk what he was going to do after he ended up in the chamber with her, but I digress.) he and Clarke are on the same side. Clarke then does everything she can short of getting herself killed to save Bellamy and the rest of her friends.

also in the second gif, Bellamy is looking back at Clarke like, “sorry, dude pulled the Little Sister card, gotta get myself captured now” and Clarke looks on with anxiety and confusion as this was not the plan, at all.

in the first gif, Clarke is looking back at Bellamy with deep anger and betrayal, and he responds with more-or-less a blank stare, because he’s so deep in indoctrination (and Bob is seriously phoning it in)

no wonder Blorkes are so delusional. as long as Eliza and Bob are making vaguely similar facial expressions in any two given scenes, regardless of what is actually happening in those scenes, that apparently makes a parallel. I want to find parallels for every dumb rarepair and crackship this show has, now. just to prove a point.

and look at how many notes that gifset has!!

how did so many people convince themselves of a love story that is not there??