#there were some people telling me that life isn't black and white and yea i know that 😭

[duckiemimi]

jjk 261 leaks

i'm gonna ramble a bit here idk if it'll make sense.

i've always been the biggest advocate of not viewing things black and white in jjk, meaning everything is understandable from the readers' point of view, BUT that doesn't mean that the story itself doesn't have distinct boundaries between what's "good" and "bad" in the narrative. take geto, for example. great character, you can't help but like him, but even then you know he's an antagonist for a reason. the narrative says so, even the characters say so. there's a running theme in jjk where every antagonist (and antagonist-adjacent) character is motivated to control other people's bodies—geto and non-sorcerers (to a lesser extent), kenjaku and his CT, mahito and his CT, sukuna needing to have a host, etc. kenjaku, for the most part, has always been our point of reference when we talk about evil in the story. which is why it's so jarring to see yuuta, of all people, resort to the same thing. for the greater good? okay, let's talk about the do or die of the greater good in jjk.

the greater good in this arc is to stop sukuna to save humanity. but even then, this cause has always been eclipsed by less righteous, personal reasons, like wanting to save megumi, or wanting to fight sukuna. those are the reasons pushed for readers to see, to care about. while understandable (they are human, after all), compared to its contemporaries, jjk isn't really a manga where characters sacrifice their morals for the greater good. in fact (i've mentioned this once), for a structured organization with the goal to protect humanity, humanity itself isn't of much importance in the narrative. the story has always centered around the sorcerers. but that aside, in times of despair (like yuuji in shibuya), they've always shown remorse and regret for the things that they cannot control, hesitation. while there is no altruistic character in the series, no one has ever wanted or willingly suggested anything aligned with puppeteering. (why would they? isn't the cog mentality something we're trying to move past, especially with the machine now destroyed?)

to have yuuta be the first to suggest a plan like this is...jarring. from what's written, sure we can accredit it to his love and understanding for his teacher, but yuuta knows what happened to geto. the cast has seen what kenjaku can do and has done. you could say that yuuta has a history with control (rika, in a way), but i like to think that he's grown since volume 0. could this be a desperate last resort by a panicked child? yeah, maybe. but it barely reads that way. there are too many interpretations to call it that, it isn't convincing enough. this is also the first time we've ever seen gojo referred to as a "monster," despite being untouchable and revered as god-like throughout the manga. there are some panels earlier in the series of the cast being asked what gojo is to them, and most people answered that he's the strongest alone. i don't recall yuuta being asked, so maybe he's thought of this concept of "monstrosity" for a while, but it would've built up better if we were shown some sympathetic sentiments from him prior to this chapter. it would've tied everything together well. alas. thanks for the off-screen growths, timeskip.

while for different reasons (does the end justify the means in this story? what about geto?), the fact of the matter is yuuta has adopted kenjaku's methodology for the greater good. what does that mean for jjk's alignment and ideology? could this be commentary on the dreariness of teeth-gritting reality? maybe. i think this chapter alone has ultimately changed what morality means in the bigger story. after all, it's practically a lawless land right now with everything destroyed. but what kind of message will we end with? is there something that needs to be said, or is there nothing at all?

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

I got to be so real I kind of have mixed feelings about this post, and I'm not as mad rereading it as I was the first time I read it.

On one hand, I kind of agree that doing fucked up things to a fictional character doesn't necessarily mean that you're bad.

If I write a story in which a child is put to death, I'm not suddenly in favor of children dying. The person who wrote "the lottery" isn't in favor of people being stoned to death just because they wrote about it. I write stories all the time where characters are subject to homophobia or racism or general bigotry and I'm obviously not in favor of those things. However, there's a reason some stories that deal with the same subject matter are better received than others. There's a reason that even though "Avatar: the last Airbender" was written by two white men it's not called racist like some other works by white creators that handle POC.

I feel like the idea that how you approach fiction and fictional characters says absolutely nothing about you is insane.

If you watch a piece of media and then you go to write fanfiction about the media and you give all the white characters a good, happy ending but give all of the black characters sad ones where they're beaten to death, I absolutely think that says something about you! If you read/watch media with a fictional child and immediately want to write a story in which that child is raped by one of their parents, I absolutely think that says something about you and your character! The characters might be fictional, but you are not. Your choices do not exist in a vacuum. Why do you want to produce and see media where people of color end up unhappy and/or dead? Why do you want to write a lot of non-con? why do you want to see two siblings fuck?

Even though you didn't do anything to anybody in real life, I have to side eye why you're obsessed with seeing and writing that type of content. If you're writing a rape scene just because you like it (you don't comment on it or anything. In fact, it hardly ever comes up again) then yea, I do think you're probably a bit fucked up.

A white woman who writes all of her black male characters as "big" and "manly" and "dangerous" and "dominant" is absolutely revealing something about herself through her fiction! Maybe the fake black guy isn't being objectified since he's not real, but you can't seriously tell me that the white woman who wrote him has not revealed anything about how she views black men lmao. You can't tell me you'd seriously believe her when she says she's not racist.

I mean this site in particular talks all the time about the way certain groups are portrayed by certain authors. This site will be the first to cancel authors who write marginalized people in an unsavory light. If you think the fiction you consume doesn't matter, then you can never say anything about representation mattering ever again. A black child who only ever sees white characters cannot be influenced by that because fiction doesn't matter, right? You can't cancel an author for being racist. So what if all of their characters of color are portrayed as violent and evil? If what you write doesn't say anything about you, then that author is not racist at all!

I mean, seriously. How many authors have been canceled because they wrote black characters in a way that left the viewers with a bad taste in their mouths? How you choose to treat fictional characters absolutely says something about you!

I understand that fiction is how a lot of people deal with stuff. If something bad happened to you when you were a kid, you might want to see your favorite character go through that and overcome it, but the thing is: I feel like there's a line. I feel like too many of you use past trauma to justify what has honestly just become a paraphilia. Some of you don't read media about SA because you were SA'd and are trying to deal with it; you read it because you have a 'kink' for it. Too many of you hide under "healing" when you genuinely just get off on seeing fucked up things happen to characters. It's no secret that people who have experienced trauma sometimes go on to become abusive and perverse themselves.

The things that you enjoy and dedicate time to absolutely say something about you! Whether you think it says something good or bad doesn't matter, but the idea that it just exists in a vacuum and says absolutely nothing about your character and who you are as a person is quite frankly insane!

Even if you're writing it because you're trying to deal with trauma that happened to you or you're trying to create a safe space for people who have been through fucked up stuff, that says something about your character and who you are as a person. The stories you dedicate your time to reading and writing absolutely reveal who you are. We talk endlessly about the misogyny of male writers in the past and present. If posts like the one linked were true, then it wouldn't matter if a man spent all day writing stories where every single female character of his is treated like shit and assaulted. Media would be entirely unable to be criticized because the fictional characters aren't real and thus how you treat them says nothing. If a man with three daughters wrote a story where a fictional father SA'd all three of his children, that wouldn't be cause for concern at all? It'd say absolutely nothing about him? You wouldn't side eye him? You wouldn't be concerned if a primary school teacher spent all day writing stories where children are molested? You would send your child to a school with a teacher like that and be completely and utterly okay because "the fiction you write and consume says nothing"?

Of course there is nuance, but I don't like the way this post seems to absolve anyone into fucked up fictional stuff of guilt. No, reading and writing fucked up stuff does not *automatically* make you bad, but if you're doing it uncritically and because you get off on it, I'm not gonna pretend that's irrelevant to who you are as a person.

[koolades-world]

hello sorry if your requests are closed pls feel free to ignore this if they are :(

i just got this nice idea and wanted to share it and maybe you could do hc idkkkk anywayy !!

so imagine a mc but they're a poc (black, asian, whatever) and they always felt kinda like an outcast in the human world bc they lived in a white neighbourhood and now they're in the devildom and... wow Mammon, Simeon, Mephisto ?! (and maybe Dia and Raphael too cuz they can be mixed or something)

Like I am japanese and I live in europe and in my whole life I've interacted with like 3 or so poc ?? That's sooo little! I would be overjoyed to meet people (demons) that aint white- there is some common experience shared with all poc and i just need that 'bound' with someone lool

Anyway sorry this kinda sounded like a rant by the end but yea! even if you don't do it its ok! Have a nice day and ily !/p ♡

hello!! of course :)

i only moved once when i was younger but both neighborhoods were predominantly white, and i don’t think I’ve ever had a close poc friend that wasn’t an online friend. in middle and elementary i was one of like three or four pocs. high school was better but since I was a magnet kid, i always saw the same people and they were majority white. I’m almost certain I was the only mixed one in that program

bottom line, i can relate haha

enjoy <3

Poc Mc and the poc boys

poc solidarity!

of course the first demon you see is Diavolo, and while you don’t trust him right off the bat because you’ve just been basically abducted for this program, it’s nice to see a poc in charge

since mammon is assigned your caretaker, of course you’re quick to form a friendship

when he learns about your childhood since that comes up at some point, he goes oddly silent and listens carefully when you tell your stories

eventually he himself opens up a little about what it was like in heaven and his experience

gonna break format for a minute, simeon and I would be such good friends, besties even. a writer, very kind, a great baker and cook, a great fashion sense, and he looks like me? omg sign me up we’re twins. there is such a thing as two pretty best friends lol

simeon is so naturally effortless but sweet, so it wasn't hard to become his friend

he's more than happy to help you where ever needed

after you get over the whole kidnapping thing, you become fast friends with dia because he's just so wonderful to be around

and he's more than happy to be your friend because the poor guy doesn't have enough. he'll take you to do all sorts of fun stuff and even if your pictures together end up everywhere online, he doesn't care

you also are a little reluctant to warm up to mephisto because of what lucifer had said about him, but diavolo spoke highly of him, so you spent a couple afternoons with him

and you found yourself very interested in him and the rad newspaper, left wondering why lucifer hated him so much

if you want, you're more than welcome to help out and of course receive credit where credit is due

it was also kind of intimidating to get close to raphael too since he seemed so tough and unapproachable, but he was actually great to have a late night talk with and helped you out with any kind of fashion dilemma

maybe the devildom isn't so bad after all...

[jyndor]

I'm so sorry you've become the blog for andor discourse 😬 can I just say it's surprising nobody is talking about how white this cast and crew is? yea diego is the lead and there are still some poc in the cast (and as you've said a lot of the black characters die) my issues with the show can be blamed on the creative team. for example maarva is something a lot of people have said they have problems with and I think an indigenous, latinx, or black writer might have taken a different route or chosen to keep cassian with his birth family.

lmao anon naur I am definitely not Theee Blog for Andor Discourse there are plenty of people blogging about it.

but yeah I 10000000% agree. Andor is INCREDIBLY white. On screen and off screen.

I mean Diego is a white Latino, even if that means he's racialized weirdly in the US for Racialization Works Differently In Different Places reasons - I mean I am not equipped to delve into this and I don't think anyone needs to hear it from me LOL. But he is Cassian so lol I mean I doubt anyones gonna be mad at him for playing Cassian since he plays him in Rogue One 🤣 although there were idiots saying he was miscast bc he's idk too old which ... LOL he PLAYED CASSIAN IN ROGUE ONE.

But they could have easily fixed how white the show feels by A) not focusing so much on Mon Mothma and like idk the wealthy Coruscanti upper class, B) keeping Cassian's old backstory lbr lol but even if they wanted to change Fest to Kenari (😡)... let Cassian have his birth family, write an indigenous mother and father* who they are clearly trying to represent to some extent, and maybe even still tell the immigrant's story with the use of diaspora - have Cassian and his family move away from home. Instead of writing his mother as a white woman coded as being from the Global North who has STOLEN an indigenous child. Idk I'm really not the person to come up with that story, it's not for me.

As for Clem, that gets to what you're saying about how like all of the Black characters die. I've talked about how it seems like all of the dark skinned Black men die in violent ways but with relatively little fanfare in comparison to white characters. Clem has the most time spent in his death, but even then he is fucking hanged (and thank God they barely showed it jfc) and it's in service of a non-Black character's story. Darker skinned characters in general get less dialogue, less screen time and experience more direct trauma than lighter skinned characters. I know, I know - something something that's the point that's how fascism and racism works. Yeah but does anyone really think these white guy writers are the ones who should be telling that story?

Idk I think there's a good argument for showing how the harm done by imperialism and fascism differs for different people but again it's also like... yeah Black people should have been in the room in order to prevent anti-Blackness. Indigenous people - especially Nahuatl people and Sami (for Aldhani) people should have been in the room to make sure the show handles the characters who are clearly inspired by their cultures well.

And yeah I can't help it, Bix's treatment was not great imo. I get the point of it, but I wonder about how much it would have helped to have a diverse writers room. Maybe she would have still been tortured, and frankly I don't need the empire's crimes sanitized? but something about that scene rubs me wrong - probably because her s1 arc does revolve around the men in her life. not like some bullshit "cassian is to blame for her getting tortured" take but it isn't about her story. It's about his.

Anyway I think many times the show does things really well but yeah their treatment of Black characters especially? Rancid.

*this is still Messy as fuck want to clarify that. Diego isnt indigenous so like ??? but whatever lmfao just bring back fest tbh

[nathank77]

9/2/24

1:30 p.m Added to/Edited 1:53 p.m

Expanding off my last post about the waters and other things:

I went to Walmart to get some stuff and I saw this guy in the deodorant aisle. He was legit ripping open the plastic on the deodorant, and sniffing the deodorant. I mean his nose was on the deodorant. He opened many of them. I heard him and saw him ripping the plastic. I saw him sniffing them. It wasn't the kind of deodorant that had the plastic top. It was the gel kind so once he got the plastic off he was sticking his disgusting nose right on the gel.

It was fucking disgusting. No Walmart employees were scouting him, watching him, lurking around corners or talking to him and telling him to leave for damaging products. Could it be bc he was WHITE?!?!?! WHITE as snow. A fucking WHITE guy. Doing a disgusting habit. Something that could spread diseases or illnesses.

I mean i hate to break it to you all but MRSA lives in your nasal cavity and that guy had his nose up against the part that would touch someone's skin. It makes me not want to buy things from Walmart at all cause people do shit like that and get away with it and it makes me feel like my items are tampered with. Too bad everywhere else is too fucking expensive right?? I got to get some of my stuff at Walmart. It's unavoidable.

This guy was actually damaging the products. Ripping open the plastic on over 3 different deodorants and putting them back on the shelf. Not buying them. And no one bothered him about damaging products. No one said a fucking thing to him. I wanted to report him but I didn't.

Yet the dark skinned individual who takes waters to a separate aisle and rips open a few packages and buys the 3 packs he damages and put back together the packs he doesn't buy and they aren't damaged AT ALL gets followed, told to leave the store, has to have a case with walmart ethics, still gets followed around.

Has his photo taken by a WHITE employee and was being followed around by another WHITE employee, they were fucking targeting me.

Last time I was there some WHITE employee started questioning me and I said I have a case with ethics she left me alone and within 2 minutes another WHITE employee stood next to me doing nothing presumably to watch me he did nothing. So I took my waters and found another aisle as I recorded and caught him watching me and i caught the original employee and I conversations on camera.

But this white guy can fucking rip open multiple deodorants and put his nose on the plastic and sniff them and then just put them back and no one bothers him.

I may be white but I look fucking Spanish and I hate it bc I've been discriminated against my whole life due to my skin tone. No fucking joke. I bet if that deodorant guy was Spanish or black, Walmart would have been on him like flies on shit.

Now I'm spending more money between jugs and cups to drink my water just to avoid the ocd and anxiety. And to aviod the FUCKING DISCRIMINATION BY WALMART BC IM MENTALLY ILL AND I LOOK SPANISH.

But that set my soul on fire watching him get away with it while if God forbid I wanted to buy cases of water I get prosecuted bc of my skin tone and my ghetto look (I dress like a poor person, ripped, stained clothes and just my overall style.)

But WHITEY doesn't get bothered when he is actually damaging and contaminating the items.

What he did is equivalent to me IF I OPENED EVERY WATER BOTTLE AND PUT MY LIPS TO THEM.

But whatever.

So yea end rant about that. Next on the list:

I should have chose marcobid but I'm scared of side effects bc I mean, 10000000 people can take one drug and be fine and then 1 takes it and has a seizure. I have apparently pharmophobia.. sorta. I don't actually have it bc I take meds. I take a decent amount of prescription meds. Stacey actually has it she won't talk any pills at all. But I clearly suffer from it a little bit.

I had read about macrobid. And they talked about neurological side effects. It isn't common but nonetheless what's safer?

1) taking a med you already took that causes Dihherea but that was it? But also might not kill e coli? Which I didn't know until I left the hospital :/

2) taking a new med that could cause side effects? Like I have another beta blocker and metopolol... Actually if I need it I am going back to metopolol bc I felt the twitches although maybe exerterbated by metopolol due to not having chicken or any b vitamins was likely not a side effect since I had taken metopolol for years and never had side effects. I'd rather try metopolol if need be bc it was well tolerated for 7 years and I can see an explanation for the muscle twitches. If it caused it again after several chicken dinners a week then I'd try the other one but I'd rather not risk new side effects.

- I should have went with marcobid but I've never tried it and I was scared the new med could cause side effects.

- Bactrim caused Dihherea. That was it when I took it... and as someone with ibs Dihherea is a fairly regular occurrence in my life. So it might not have even been bc of bactrim...

- I have major anxiety I made the wrong chose of antibiotics and obv i have to finish the course. Also bc I was deep in psychosis when i used this antibiotic last I was having visuals and i thought that I read one pill once a day. But 5 days in I realized it was 2 pills, 12 hours a part. So I worry about that bc I didn't take the meds as directed bc of visual hallucinations changing the wording of it.

- idk I have all sorts of anxiety.

- also about Elise, I do think we could just be friends. I will always have feelings but also I think if we met for coffee they would just turn off seeing her wedding ring tbh. Bc I respect marriage. My brain wants to believe she isn't talking to me bc of this:

A) she thinks I'm crazy and wants nothing to do with me.

B) she's in love with me and how could I ever think we could just be friends when she flirted with me so much.

- bc I don't understand why she won't be my friends unless it's one of these things. It doesn't make sense to me and I don't think she thinks I'm crazy. I think her being a therapist she might understand psychosis and not look at me as a less of a person bc of my diagnosis.

[scentedchildnacho]

Joshua Wong.....yea I think capitalism in the states right now is subversion fuckery sex offense mostly....and its more young communists like writers strikes that are persecuted for refusing to allow people necessity clauses to get on people's cash

The young communists in schools tend to expose experimentalism as infrastructure so a lot looks like sex offenders water can be changed to wine

Yea it's difficult to tell...if people are americans or Germans it's like should I sympathy that were they to harsh to the athletes or more beastialism or is that neo Nazism...so I prefer peace because I'm not given guilt information and I don't enjoy targeting people who were just lucky that way in life they got to be strong and healthy

Because my therapist was like why don't you just ask people if they need to talk sometimes or tell you some things that have happened in their life

No I don't want a car or any of that....it's having to shoot at people all the time

Car head lights are like Ralph Nader.......and the Ford pinto their all engineered to pierce and cause developmental handicap

All you have to do is own something that repulsively irritating and mass amounts of people criminalized

Then you can Sylvia plath at people very subversive white is English and die of felonies

The 90s discovered lots of stuff like pre modern religion and nature....lightening if its angry enough to flash at me refuses to beat and batter me in subversive dikery fucker ways so I don't think my population is that incriminated

And they are really queer dikes if it's shelters I've told them persistently I was white and a woman and I don't want niggers and queers

No a nigger isn't a concept to be reclaimed it's a nasty meth addict rapist and enjoys very sadistic rafpe it's a nigger

No a dike isn't a concept to be reclaimed it's Irma grese.....it's a shove it up ya tampon or vaccine stab....dam the Mississippi River it's a dike that causes cancer through beastialism

They already in Ruidoso tried to make me get raped with this felon house fucker...I find gay in women that opts for fashion that masculine repulsive....ya know de sensorialize vagina and call the feminine God a persistent bisex burn....

Fuckers ya know people who rape orfices so badly people prefer to be a boy

Well I am poor enough to just say it but Langston Hughes better then communities still have all sorts of folk rituals to remove subversion of any kind

Well it's nigger....black men are Men.....sex is gross and icky and coodie and their not really touchable or desirable people.....but if it's nigger it can want excessive amounts of contact with populations under quarantine recommendation

Tuskegee....what happened there if not a cocaine show

That's all I have seen recently jobs and poorer thens to have become is a subversive genocide

People can get all liquored up and give their mind to brain washing fascists and let them steal all their blood or chollo steal their gland fluid or worse

Sal army....people can Sylvia plath at people

White is English?

I'm from Wisconsin though so golda meir makes sense to me the world or earth is feminine masculine is positive and what is strange here

Well life is hedonism to me people avoid pain cruelty and discomfort so I don't do incriminating things.....because the initial battle tends to claim a category wins and they just kind of put off complete ing the actual research

No no no you were told the study is to know the most people can get out of people and the least they have to give in return....so going and staying at a hotel or motel is just putting off the inevitable

It's the United States it practices illegal labor

[chaeryybomb]

BRUTAL

pairings: female reader x best friend!jungwon

summary: they told you that these were the golden years, but to you "golden" was a rusting metal spray painted yellow. the story of a seventeen year old trying to survive high school when all you do is try your best. but your best friend jungwon makes it worth the while. 

genre: high school au, friends to lovers, fluff, tiny bits of angst if you squint, attempt at humour

featuring: jang wonyoung, kim sunoo & nishimura riki 

word count: 4.5k 

warnings: reader having a existential crisis most of the time, strong language, mentions of insecurity

the sour series masterlist

You slumped forward the moment the bell rang, letting your head hit the table. You could care less if a bruise would form on your forehead, you had much bigger things to worry about. Your teacher left the class wordlessly as the class was busy doing their own thing. And by that, everyone was buried nose deep in studying. You lifted your head to see the different books of the same topic scattered on your desk, a yellow highlighter balancing on the edge of your table.

Reaching over to grab the highlighter, you turned your head over to the side to look at your desk mate. Wonyoung sat there looking straight out from a k-drama, with her hair flowing down her back perfectly and her slender nimble fingers moving as she continuously wrote in her notebook. She was smart too, fluent in English and Korean, great at maths and science. And on top of that she was kind and friendly, everyone loved her. You did too, you had the honour of calling her your best friend. But sometimes you felt insecure around her, everything she did looked flawless and there you were just trying your best.

"Ack!" You yelped as you sat up straight, holding your forehead. Wonyoung rolled her eyes at you with a small smile on her lips, she had flicked your forehead to get you out of your thoughts.

Without taking her eyes off the textbook, she tapped your own workbook with her pen. Silently telling you to stop procrastinating. You pouted at her and looked at the clock, 10 minutes before lunch. Maybe a walk to the girl's bathroom would do you some good.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom," you whispered to Wonyoung. She nodded and smiled at you before you walked out.

As you strolled towards the girl's bathroom, you passed by the bulletin board outside your class. A bright blue poster stood out with the words "ENJOY YOUR YOUTH" in white. Scoffing at the message, you continued on your way.

"I'm seventeen now, where's my fucking teenage dream?" You muttered to yourself. You were tired of waiting for your life to end up like a coming of age movie. Everyone told you that these were the golden years and you should enjoy your youth, but you swear to god if you hear another one of those cheesy sayings, you might just cry on the spot.

Reaching over to open the stall door, you halt in your actions when you heard familiar voices talking.

"I'm so worried for finals, my parents are gonna kill me if I fail English again," a girl complained. You hear the sound of tap water running. "How are you so calm during this time, Mirae?'

"What's the use of studying hard anyways," the second girl, Mirae, said. "We all know the top spots are gonna be taken by Jang Wonyoung and Yang Jungwon, I just study enough to pass."

The other girl snorted at her reply. "Imagine if those two got together, the power couple of the year," she suddenly said.

"Poor Y/N then, she's gonna be over shadowed by them."

"As if she already isn't. I almost forgot they were a trio until you mentioned Y/N," the girl laughed.

"What can I say? They're out of her league," Mirae joined in with her laughter.

The two voices faded away as you heard the door closed. Finally pushing the door open, you looked at your reflection. Your eyebrows knitted in annoyance and your face was morphed in a scowl. You washed your hands aggressively and poked the inside of your cheek. What bugged you was that they were right. You were the black sheep between Wonyoung and Jungwon. Both of them were smart and amazing, and you're just…you.

You love your best friends, you truly do. But you were constantly compared to them and you hated it. Everyone wanted them, you watched as guys tripped over to confess to Wonyoung and girls squealing when Jungwon smiled at them. The two of them always reassured you that you weren't beneath them but you were sick of their sympathy. You're so caught up in the news of who likes you and who hates them. You just wished people liked you more.

Storming out of the bathroom, someone accidentally ran into you and caused you to fell onto your butt. The student immediately stood up and scurried off, not bothering to even a mutter an apology. All I did was try my best and this is the thanks I get, you thought bitterly.

They said that these were the golden years, but you wished you could just disappear. God, it's brutal out here.

"Y/N, wait up!" Jungwon called after you.

You stopped in your tracks as you watched Jungwon waved goodbye to some students before jogging towards you.

"You heading to cram school today?" He asked you as the both of you fell into the same walking rhythm.

You shook your head, clasping your hands behind. "I moved it to Thursday instead, Wonyoung said I had to many things on Tuesday," you told him. Originally, you would be heading to the library to study before heading over to the cram school. But Wonyoung took one look at your schedule and decided that you did not had enough breaks, so she managed to convince you to take the Thursday slot instead. Thursdays are one of the days where you would not go to the library.

Jungwon seemed to be disappointed to find out that you had switched slots. Maybe he should changed slots too, but does he have any empty spots open for Thursday though? He'd have to check later. Instead, he coughed and stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"Do you wanna come over later? The new Demon Slayer movie is out," he offered, hoping that you'd accept.

Unfortunately, you once again shook your head. "Sorry Jungwon, I'd want to cram even more later. Finals are really creeping in and I can't afford to waste any time," you told him with a sad smile. As much as you would like to ditch the books and watch Demon Slayer, the glaring C on your last history paper was telling you otherwise.

You stopped walking when you had reached your doorstep. "Thanks for walking me home, Jungwon. See you tomorrow!" and with that you disappeared behind the door.

Jungwon waved goodbye as he watched the door closed. The smile on his face dropped and his shoulder sagged. Jungwon you idiot, of course she would want to study, he scolded himself. With disappointment on his face, he trudged home with a heavy heart.

"Change of plans, guys," he announced as he swung the front door open, unfazed by the fact that Riki and Sunoo were lounging on his coach. He accepted the fact that Sunoo had somehow gotten the keys to his house (suspecting that his mother probably gave it to him due to favouritism or maybe Riki had sneakily made a copy).

Riki's head poked out from the couch. "She rejected you, didn't she," the younger boy said with a smirk.

Jungwon's face ears turned red as he glared at the boy. "No she did not!" He immediately told him. "She rejected the offer to watch the movie, that's different!"

"That's basically rejection, hyung," Riki laughed.

The other boy just glared at him. "Shut up!" he sputtered out before hiking up the stairs.

Sunoo gave Riki a look, to which the Japanese boy just shrugged his shoulders innocently.

Jungwon walked out from the shower, a towel around his neck with one hand running through his damp hair. Sunoo and Riki had left earlier, finally giving him some peace and quiet. His phone screen was flashing from his study table, initiating that someone was spamming him (quite aggressively) with text message. With a raised eyebrow, he picked up his phone

[7:09 pm] wonyoung: JUNGWON

[7:09 pm] wonyoung: JUNGWON

[7:09 pm] wonyoung: JUNGWON

[7:10 pm] wonyoung: WHY DID Y/N JUST MESSAGED ME ABOUT HOMEWORK

[7:10 pm] wonyoung: ISNT SHE WITH YOU

[7:11 pm] wonyoung: I THOUGHT YOU SAID U WERE GONNA WATCH A MOVIE

[7:11 pm] wonyoung: DEMON HUNTER OR SMTG

[7:12 pm] wonyoung: WHY IS SHE ASKING ME FOR HW

[7:12 pm] wonyoung: DID U CHICKEN OUT???

[7:13 pm] wonyoung: omg u chickened out didnt u

[7:14 pm] jungwon: jfc wonyoung

[7:15 pm] jungwon: and no i did not chicken out okay

[7:15 pm] jungwon: she declined

[7:16 pm] jungwon: she said she had to study ;-;

[7:17 pm] wonyoung: omg u suck

[7:17 pm] wonyoung: i told u the movie idea was dumb

[7:18 pm] wonyoung: but do u ever listen to me

[7:18 pm] wonyoung: no

[7:19 pm] wonyoung: and now u suffer the consequences

[7:20 pm] jungwon: yea yea i get it im dumb

[7:20 pm] jungwon: now what's ur solution the great jang wonyoung

[7:21 pm] wonyoung: i am so glad u asked :)

[7:21 pm] jungwon: oh no

[7:21 pm] wonyoung: stfu im giving u a better idea

[7:22 pm] wonyoung: a n y w a y s

[7:22 pm] wonyoung: my ynradar is going off and she's s a d

[7:23 pm] jungwon: how would u know

[7:23 pm] jungwon: she seemed fine today

[7:23 pm] wonyoung: stfu jungwon its best friend things u wont understand

[7:24 pm] jungwon: i-

[7:25 pm] wonyoung: and as her future bf u SHOULD start to train ur ynradar

[7:25 pm] wonyoung: anw its exam season stoopid

[7:26 pm] wonyoung: and its when those kids start to talk abt how the both of us are gonna get top scores

[7:26 pm] wonyoung: and they talk down on y/n while doing so

[7:26 pm] wonyoung: assholes

[7:27 pm] wonyoung: so i propose to u

[7:27 pm] wonyoung: a ✨ study date ✨

[7:28 pm] jungwon: i

[7:29 pm] jungwon: that's

[7:29 pm] jungwon: actually not a bad idea

[7:30 pm] wonyoung: obv i came up with it

[7:31 pm] jungwon: can u not

[7:31 pm] wonyoung: anw a study date

[7:32 pm] wonyoung: she's struggling in maths

[7:33 pm] wonyoung: specifically taxes because she said and i quote

[7:34 pm] wonyoung: "why do we have to do taxes when we pay people to do it for us"

[7:34 pm] wonyoung: so pls help her and try to cheer her up

[7:35 pm] wonyoung: and confess coward

[7:36 pm] jungwon: i make no promises for the last one

[7:36 pm] wonyoung: aFTER EVERYTHING I JUST SAID

[7:37 pm] jungwon: what if she rejects me wonyoung

[7:38 pm] wonyoung: WE'VE HAD THIS CONVERSATION A LOT OF TIMES JUNGWON

[7:38 pm] wonyoung: SHE LIKES U BUT SHES TOO DUMB TO REALISE

[7:39 pm] jungwon: sigh

[7:40 pm] jungwon: fine i'll try thanks wonyoung

[7:41 pm] wonyoung: np i expect y'all to be a couple by next monday <3

[7:41 pm] jungwon: i-

Sighing for the nth time of the night, Jungwon sat on his bed. He allowed the towel to slipped off his shoulders as his thumb hovered over your chat icon. Truth be told, he always thought his crush on you was unrequited love. You never showed any signs of returning of feelings so he thought he would just ignore the feeling until it was gone.

But oh boy was he wrong, because he didn't knew that he would be spending his high school years by your side. And now you occupy his mind 24/7. Wonyoung could literally tell that he was in love with you, but somehow you never caught on. He allowed Sunoo and Riki to convince him to do the whole "movie date idea", but that failed. So Wonyoung's suggestion was his only option left.

He typed out the message, ready to send it out. If only he could just press the button. Come on Yang Jungwon, you can do this. Just press the damn button Jungwon. Suddenly his phone pinged loudly, scaring the lights out of the poor boy as he yelped and his phone landed with a thud on the ground. He peered over his bed, as if his phone was a ticking bomb.

Oh, it was a message from you.

[8:01 pm] y/n: hey do u know where wonyoung is

[8:01 pm] y/n: she isn't answering my texts

Oh no. He realised that your chat was open, the two ticks indicated that he had (unintentionally) read the message. He couldn't just leave you on read. That's just evil. Scrambling to get his phone, he immediately typed a reply to cover for the other girl.

[8:02 pm] jungwon: sorry i don't :/

[8:02 pm] jungwon: what do u need her for

[8:03 pm] y/n: mf was supposed to teach me a maths question but she left me on rEAD

This was his chance! It was the perfect opportunity for him to score a date with you. Okay, breathe in breath out Jungwon. Don't mess it up and just ask her, he mentally prepared himself.

[8:04 pm] jungwon: oh i could help you if you want

[8:04 pm] jungwon: yk with finals coming up and everything, i can help you study

[8:05 pm] jungwon: if you want of course

[8:05 pm] y/n: omg srsly??

[8:06 pm] jungwon: pls help me study my braincells are literally dying

[8:07 pm] jungwon: jdsjkda okay how about this saturday at your place?

[8:08 pm] y/n: yeah sure

[8:08 pm] jungwon: cool its a date then!

You blinked at Jungwon's message. A date? Wait, did Yang Jungwon just indirectly asked you out? Nah, nah. You were overthinking it. Yes, definitely overthinking. Don't kid yourself, why would Jungwon ask you out on a date? Jungwon is just a friend, you tried to convince yourself.

Keyword: tried.

If he really was just a friend, then why did it felt like butterflies were in your stomach when he said "it was a date"? Then why did you frowned when those girls said that Wonyoung and Jungwon would make a good couple?

Oh god, do you have feelings for your best friend?

Saturday came faster than you would have liked it to. Ever since that last chat with Jungwon, it gave you the sudden realisation that you did in fact had feelings for your best friend. You tried so hard to avoid him in school because you don't want the butterflies back in your stomach. It was basically confirming the fact that you like him. Well, avoiding him also confirmed the fact but you choose to be in denial about it.

You didn't tell Wonyoung about your study date but lately she's been sending you outfit ideas on Pinterest. Specifically, date outftis. And whenever you tried to ask her a question about school, she brushed you off with a random excuse. So it left you no choice but to save those questions for Jungwon.

Speaking of Jungwon, he had texted you 10 minutes ago that he was on the way. You were standing in the middle of your room with your hands on your hips. Both of your parents were out for the day, which left you alone at home. You had taken out the low table to be used later and it was currently in front of you. Colourful workbooks were neatly stacked on top of it.

You did a 360 turn around your room. Was it messy? You cleaned it this morning when you woke up. Did you had any clothes out? No, doesn't look like it. For some reason, you were a nervous wreck. You blamed Jungwon. He just had to call this a date, didn't he.

Should you change? Maybe you should finally look through all those pins Wonyoung sent. Wait, no, why would you have to change into something nice. Jungwon was here to help you study, just that.

Yeah, a study date, your mind emphasised on the word.

The sound of the doorbell pulled you out from your thoughts. You immediately went to open the door. Yang Jungwon stood there on the other side, with his signature smile. Had he always resembled a sheep? He just looked so fluffy.

"Hey!" You greeted him with a smile, internally wincing at your way-too-enthusiastic voice.

But Jungwon didn't seem to mind it. "Hey!" he greeted back.

You moved to the side to let him in. "Thank you for having me," he said as he bowed then proceeded to remove his shoes.

"Uh, do you want anything? Water?" You asked him.

He shook his head.

"Ah, cool. Let's head to my room," you started to walk back to your room.

"Where are your parents?" He asked.

"Out," you simply replied.

That was when it dawned upon you, that your parents were not home. Leaving you and Jungwon, alone. Together. In your room. Alone. With the boy you potentially have a crush on.

"Y/N?" Jungwon tapped on your shoulder. You had stopped walking when you were suddenly washed over by your thoughts. Snapping out of it, you sent him a small smile before opening the room to your door.

The both of you shuffled into your bedroom, you sat down in front of the low table while Jungwon settled down next to you. He moved to take out his books then turned to you. "How about we do some studying and if you have any questions, you can ask me okay?" He said.

You nodded and flipped your own workbook open, immediately starting to work on the first question. Jungwon copied your action and a comfortable silence engulfed the both of you. As the time passed, you found yourself stuck on a certain maths question.

You slightly turned your head to the side to look at Jungwon. He was concentrated at doing his work, you felt a sense of deja vu while looking at him. He resembled Wonyoung when she was studying. At the thought of Wonyoung, you suddenly thought of what those girls said at the bathroom.

They would make a good couple, wouldn't they, you thought. The power couple of the year.

The butterflies in your stomach faded away into an uncomfortable feeling. Just the idea of them getting together already made you sick. You bit the inside of your cheek, you really did had feelings for him. And now it scared you because what if he doesn't feel the same. You made a mental note to consult with Wonyoung later, at least you hope that you'll allow yourself to tell her.

Jungwon must've noticed you staring and gently tapped your head with his pencil. A contrast to when Wonyoung painfully flicked your forehead.

"What's wrong? Are you stuck on a question?" He asked.

You leaned back a bit at the sudden action. You were so deep in your insecurities that you had totally forgotten about the literal problem sitting in front of you. Yet you couldn't even bother to ask him so you just shook your head. "I'm gonna get something to drink," you said instead.

Jungwon watched as you stood up, then decided to follow you as well. "I'll come along."

The boy joined you in the kitchen, perched on one of the island stools as you grabbed a can of soda from the fridge. He studied your movement as you worked around the kitchen. Your features were neutral, you weren't smiling nor frowning. But he could tell that your shoulders were tensed. Wonyoung was right, you did seem down. And he cursed himself for not noticing earlier.

"You okay?" His question made you stopped in a mid-pour stance, the can of soda was tilted but not enough for the contents to be poured out.

You brushed his question off and poured the drink into the cup. "Yeah," you hummed.

Unconvinced by your answer, he pried more. "You know you shouldn't care about what they say, right?"

You furrowed your eyebrows at him, pretending like you didn't understand where he was coming from.

"You're not below us, you know that right?"

You couldn't help but scoffed at his words. Jungwon's lips tugged downwards "I'm being serious here, Y/N," his tone was stern. "You shouldn't listen to what they say. You're more than just-"

The sound of the can being slammed down shuts him up. Your fingers tightened around the can as you looked at him. You didn't had the energy to hear him preach the same old "Don't Listen To Them" speech. You don't need his pity.

"I don't want to hear it, Yang Jungwon," you said through gritted teeth. Not sparing him another glance, you threw the empty can into the trash as you grabbed your glass.

As you walked past Jungwon, he suddenly reached out and held onto your forearm. "Y/N," he said softly. "Please tell me what's wrong."

You sighed and slowly turn around to face him, placing the glass back on the counter. You took in a deep breath before you opened your mouth. "I feel like I'm not enough," you finally said. "Everything I do just doesn't seem enough. All I'm doing is my best but it's just crushing my ego because everyone is telling me that you're better than me."

"I feel like no one wants me and I hate the way I'm perceived. It's always poor Y/N this and poor Y/N that's because everyone just sees me as your shadow and I fucking hate it. I only have two real friends," you gestured wildly. "And lately I'm a nervous wreck cause I keep comparing myself to the two of you. I'm not cool and I'm not smart, and I can't even parallel park!" You threw your hands up in frustration, the feelings you kept inside were pouring out like a waterfall.

Jungwon just stood there as he listened tentatively to every word. He didn't knew that you felt this way, bottling up all your emotions like that.

"And I'm so tired of people telling me to enjoy my youth and that these are the golden years. I might just fucking cry if I hear those words again," you finished ranting. It felt good, it felt like a weight on your heart has been lifted. Then you remembered that you just dumped all of it on Jungwon.

You opened your mouth to apologise to him but he surprised you by pulling him into his arms. At first you were standing stiffly at the sudden contact, but it took a millisecond for you to melt in his embrace. His arms were gently around your back and you returned the hug by wrapping your arms around his torso. The two of you stay in that position for awhile, relishing in each other's embrace. You definitely needed this hug.

Tightening your hold on Jungwon, you realised how important he was to you. He was your best friend and he was always there for you. It was stupid of you to compare yourself to him, when all he did was tried his best for you. The taller boy chuckled when he felt you rubbed your face into his shoulder, he involuntarily released a contented sigh. You felt one of his hands stroked your hair, it felt comforting. That action itself was enough for the butterflies to slowly settled back in you.

After a while, both of you finally (unwillingly) released each other. He pushed a strand of hair behind your ears and said, "You're wrong by the way." Which made you tilt your head in genuine confusion.

"You are cool and you are smart. You're like the coolest person I know. And no one thinks of you as our shadow, you don't hear it but I've always hear the juniors praising you for helping them and how enthusiastic you are," the way he delivered his words was filled with pure awe for you.

"And who cares if you can't parallel park. You didn't hear it from but Jay hyung failed his drivers test three times just because he couldn't parallel park," and that got a laugh out from you. Jungwon smiled proudly that he managed to make you laugh. "And you're wrong when you said no one wants you. I want you."

You blinked once, twice and thrice. He wanted you? "You're just saying that cause you're my best friend," you replied.

"No," he firmly said. "I like you, Y/N."

(Jungwon doesn't know where he got this sudden surge of confidence, but the mood was the perfect time for him to confess. It was a one time chance and he had to take it.)

You chuckled. "I like you too, Jungwon. We are friends aren't we?"

"No, Y/N. I like you. More than friends."

"Oh." Oh.

"Yeah," he scratched the back of neck awkwardly. Oh no, did you not feel the same way?

While you on the other hand, were malfunctioning on the inside. Your best friend just confessed to you and you were frozen on the spot. Why couldn't he had done it over text instead. If he had done it over text, then you could've left the message unread and you could've spammed Wonyoung for help. But the thing is that it wasn't over text and you couldn't just tell him to wait here while you panicked to Wonyoung in your bathroom.

Yang Jungwon likes you. And you like him too, right? Because if you didn't, your cheeks won't be heating up right now and your heart would have not be beating rapidly like it was going to break your rib cage any second. If you didn't like him, there would have never been butterflies in your stomach. Yeah. You like Yang Jungwon, you like him a lot.

"Me too," you whispered, it was soft but it was enough for him to pick it up. Jungwon eyes snapped to you, doe eyed filled with hope. "I like you, too," you said, this time louder. And you made sure you looked him in the eye when you confessed.

You watched as Jungwon's mouth morphed into a big grin. He let out a sigh of relief and dropped to his knees, surprising you. "Jungwon!" you squeaked, bending down to help him.

"I'm fine! I'm fine," he assured you as he stood up with your help. The grin on his face was still there. "It's just that … you like me," he breathed out. "You like me back, wow. I-I can't believe it."

Your face was definitely burning with embarrassment. You punched him lightly on the shoulder, turning away to hide your face. "Believe it, you dork. I like you, okay!" Somehow his grin was able to grew wider at your words, Gently, he took your hand in his.

"How about we stop this study date, and I'll take you out on real date?"

© chaeryybomb 2021

a/n: thank you so much for reading this <3

[katsukikitten]

♡ last but not least - 1k words comments welcome

You twirl in the mirror twice, checking your reflecting before smoothing down your casual, yet somewhat dressy buffalo plaid dress. Debating if you should change. 

Again. 

For the fifth time. 

Your boyfriend watches from the door jamb sighing as he pushes himself off the frame. Gliding into the reflective glass he stand tall behind you, his red hair relaxed as he's pulled it back into a little bun. He pulls you by your hips to him as he nuzzles your neck with his nose, your perfume tickles his nose and he inhales deeply. 

"Ready to go?" He purrs and you shrug, biting at your lipstick clad lip. 

"I don't know, is this too casual? Too dressy? Should I wear jeans? You're in jeans but also a button down shirt…" You look at his outfit, black jeans and a buffalo plaid button up that matches. The thought unintentional. He sighs letting his ruby eyes fall over your gorgeous frame. 

"Baby, I promise you they'll love you. They won't care what you wear or how you look, they only care about how you make me feel." He kisses the rapid pulse in your throat swaying you on your feet, "And baby you make me feel good." 

You relax into his touch, swaying in time with his feet. 

"Yea,okay." You agree to probably the most agreeable man in the world. His eyes light up soothing some of your nervousness. 

But not all of it and it returns full force as he pulls up to his old childhood home. 

"Baby." You grab onto his hand, squeezing his fingers with all of your might. He brings your hand to his lips, a chaste kiss on your knuckles just before he speaks. 

"Just smile baby, that's all it will take for them to fall in love with you. That's all it took for me." His words make your heart flutter, he exits the car when he sees you've calmed down. Opening the passenger side door for you, offering his hand for help that you gladly take. The street is quiet, the snow falling silently to rest on the tops of warm homes and bare outstretched branches. 

It is a stark difference to the volume of the home that can be heard through the wreath clad door. Kirishima offers a shy sharp toothed smile. 

"I told you we're a loud family." He grabs for the door knob, "You ready?" 

"As ready as I'll ever be." Sweat collects on your brow as he opens the door, stepping out of his shoes as you follow suit. He isn't given much time before his mother hears the door, rushing into the foyer with excitement. She gasps loudly as she takes in the sight of her strong son. 

"My baby Eijirou!" She exclaims coming closer to cup his cheeks, she dots on him for a moment. 

"Hey momma." He kisses her on the cheek before her thin hands move to you, cupping your face gently, "You must be the girlfriend I've heard so much about. Kamisama your smile is so bright!" 

"He-hello ma'am." She gives you a pointed look before dropping your face to grab at your hands. 

"It's okaasan. Now come, come. You have the whole family to meet." She pulls you with ease to the rest of the party while you give Kirishima a panicked look over your shoulder. All he can do is shrug his as he follows closely behind. 

"Everyone look! It's baby Eijirou's girlfriend we've all heard such good things about!" She introduces you and the crowd of family shouts back a warm hello, "It's a pleasure to finally have you here. Please make yourself at home." 

She squeezes your hand before stepping closer to her son to give him a long hug before disappearing into the kitchen. Kirishima grabs your hand and introduces you individually to well over twenty people making your anxiety skyrocket as you try your best to remember their names. 

"And this is Sobo." He says, bringing you to a woman who hardly looked to be a grandmother. You bow your head and she laughs in response. 

"So formal among family." She says softly, patting the chair beside her. You slip into the chair with ease, "Eji, dear get us something to drink while we talk?" 

Your eyes grow wide, pleading for him not to leave the two of you alone, he offers a soft smile before saying. 

"I'll be right back Sobo." And with that he turns on his heel, leaving the two of you tucked away in the corner of the large room to look over the family. Kirishima is stopped on his way to the kitchen more times than you can count as you wait for the shoe to drop. 

This was it, this was where you would get the talk of how Kirishima was too good for you and that the sooner you left him the better. She opens her mouth to speak and you grind your teeth. 

"What is it about my grandson that you love?" She turns to you, ruby red eyes glistening beneath the twinkling lights. Silence envelops your small corner as the smell of food wafts your way. Swallowing thickly you speak the truth. 

"He is kind, it is almost otherworldly. He is strong, brave and never afraid to show emotion or to be vulnerable. He is a man who was raised well and I love him for him." It all slips out as you watch him laugh with his cousins, a smile that you always wear when you gaze at him. 

Sobo watches you, your eyes, your demeanor and when she knows the words you speak are true. She smiles herself. 

"Let me show you something." She says softly, pulling at a book on the nearby bookshelf. She settles back into her chair setting it on the dark wood table. She flips the cover open and points at the first black and white picture of a handsome man with long dark hair. 

"This was my husband and I loved him dearly. Eijirou reminds me a lot of him, so you can see he is precious to me." She begins, her frail finger pointing out their wedding photo next, "I need to know he will be loved and safe. If I could keep him from ever knowing pain I would." 

You nod in agreement wanting nothing more than to keep your man pure of heart and pain free. 

"But life doesn't work that way. In all my years I've learned that the hard way." She flips the pages again, as you watch her belly swell with each image, her family growing before your eyes. Finally she flips to her children's children, all or them amassed or spread across the pages. You are a young Kirishima with black hair in a still frame. 

"So I must trust in the people he surrounds himself with. People can say things but never mean it. His close friend Bakugou is a great example. He is harsh and pigheaded but I know he would protect my grandson with his life." She sighs looking over the photos as you glance at her face. She smiles meeting your eyes, "I'd like to thank I can put my trust into you as well." 

She leaves no room for you to respond before she flips a few pages back, telling stories of each captured moment.

Kirishima finally makes it to the kitchen after spending a half an hour trying to keep his talking to a minimum. But he couldn't blame his family it had been months since he had seen most of them and besides it's not as if Sobo would say anything rude to you even if she somehow disapproved of you. He pours a cup of tea and a mixed drink for you. Gently pushing his way through the crowd with the drinks as an excuse not to linger. 

Finally the two of you come into view and he freezes in his tracks. The first thing he sees is the frayed edges of the book. The family album spread open before you as Sobo shares the treasured memories. 

Tears form in his eyes as he watches the scene unfold in disbelief. Of all his girlfriends he is glad Sobo has bonded with you. The others were only tolerated and even the one he brought multiple years in a row never even knew of the family album. But there you sat, smiling, laughing with Sobo who's crows feet giving her a certain type of magic. He sighs, holding the breath he didn't even know he was holding. Walking towards two women that held his heart. 

"You ladies having fun?" He asks, setting down the glasses as he looks over Sobo's shoulder. 

"Eijirou, I think you should let your black hair come back! Look at how cute you were!" You exclaim pointing to an old photo. He cannot help but smile, fingers absentmindedly feeling at his strands. Sobo looks up at him while you gush over the album pulling her attention back with more questions. Sobo secretly grabs for Kirishima's hand and slips something small and cool into his palm. 

When he pulls his hand away he notices the old small ring biting his lip to keep his tears in. 

Not that he needed his grandmother's approval for what he was already planning to do in the new year but it was definitely a relief to have. He smiles down at the women clothing the old ruby ring in his hand as he fights to keep his voice even. 

"I'll leave you two to your fun. I'm sure we'll make memories for the album soon enough"

[rieson]

@pebbsie submitted; hi, I’d like to request a male one piece matchup please, I’m a petite 5’2 girl, INFJ, I have long ash brown hair, and deep blue eyes, pale skin w a beauty mark next to my left eye, and hella long eyelashes. I’m always looking to the future and have a let’s get this done attitude, I’m insightful, passionate and open minded. My love language is quality time, to me it doesn’t matter where we are or what we’re doing, it’s the time together that counts. I also love to draw and play the ukulele w a nice cold Irish cream | thank you ♡

hello ! aa, i can tell you're a soft-spoken person from this, thank you for requesting a match-up, i match you up with . . .

word count; 1,185

Trafalgar Law!

It's no secret that Law loves cute/petite things (just look at the way he treats bepo 🥺)

Law probably met you in accident, the most likely scenario to happen was that Law happened to heard you playing your ukulele when he was doing restocks in the current island and he was just...attracted to it.

Like, the melody of your ukulele just has some sort of pull to him, you know?

He doesn't even know why but his body moved to the sound he heard the ukulele playing from.

And that led him to you; sitting in the middle of a grass field while your fingers gracefully strings your ukulele.

Safe to say he was intrigued.

Finishing playing the last song you had in mind, you glanced down at your ukulele and smiled fondly at it.

"That was a nice tune." A deep, yet monotone voice spoke out; successfully startling you, causing you to flinch.

After finally calming down, you gathered the courage to look up to the owner's voice and saw a tall man, with messy raven hair, goatee, and tattoo's covering his arm, holding a sword in his arms lazily.

Gulping, you gave him a small timid smile, "Thank you, I've been practicing"

The man raises and eyebrow at the nervous behavior before something clicked in him and reminded him to apologize at the sudden entrance.

"Ah, sorry for startling you, I didn't mean to. I just heard your ukulele playing from afar and got curious."

"It's fine! I was just....wasn't expecting any company" You let out a small chuckle.

The man hums, "The name's Trafalgar Law. That was a really nice melody though, are you self-taught?"

"I'm Pebbsie, and yea I'm...self taught"

After that, he'd ask you if you would like to accompany him and buy some groceries and show him where to buy said groceries because he wasn't familiar with the island.

You ran into his crewmates while getting the groceries once or twice though; you met shachi first, he was ..interesting to say the least.

"Yeah, the herbs in this island is actually pretty affective for sicknesses like those, i really didn't believe it worked at first, but I was proven wrong." You let out a small laugh.

The man; who you soon learned the name of Law, gave a small smile i'm return "I'm not that surprised though, sickness like those tend-"

"CAPTAAAIIIINNN!!" You heard a loud yell coming towards you.

Law's face switched to annoyance.

A man soon came into your vision of sight, he had messy red hair that was contained by a weird killer whale (orca) hat, wore black sunglasses, and was wearing a white jumpsuit.

The man, abruptly stopped in his tracks at the sight of you.

"W-W-WHOA!" He yelled out, still shocked at the mysterious girl holding an ukulele in her hand besides his captain.

You shift nervously, obviously getting uncomfortable by the unknown red-head's ogling gaze at you.

Your new friend; Law noticed this called the red-head out on it.

"Shachi-ya stop your ogling, you look like an idiot and you're making her uncomfortable."

You sent him an appreciative smile, he gave a small smile as if he was saying 'Its fine.'

"S-Sorry captain! Who's this pretty Lady here?" He snaps out of his daze, pointing at you.

An irk mark appeared on laws forehead, "It's rude pointing at people Shachi-ya, introduce yourself first atleast."

That seems to snap the man; 'Shachi-ya(?)' out of his imaginations as he quickly putted down his arm.

"Sorry! My name's Shachi, you?"

"Pebbsie..." You replied, albeit a bit timidly.

You soon learned that Shachi; was Law's crewmate, also soon learning that the tattooed man was a captain of a pirate crew.

A pretty popular one at that.

But you didn't even flinch at the newfound information; not even blinking.

You just....accepted it and asked Law if he still needed the herbs he was originally looking for.

If Law wasn't interested in you before, he sure was now.

Law ended up asking you if you were willing to join his pirate crew; you weighed the pro's and cons of the offer and ended up accepting the offer.

The crew took a liking to you, no doubt.

You're now officially the Heart Pirates Tactician!

Moving on, Law has developed feelings for you over the past few months you've officially joined his pirate crew.

He'll start arguing in his head wether if it was just a small crush or if he did really love you.

It took him awhile to admit it (he kept denying that he loved you) but after awhile of arguing with himself, he'll bring it up casually one day and confesses to you.

"Hm, you know what?" Law starts.

Looking up from your ukulele, you saw Law gazing at you softly, you let out a sound of curiosity.

"I've liked you for awhile now, Pebbsie-ya."

You accepted his feelings, confessing how you felt about him too.

Now, onwards about your relationship with Law !

You both agreed that you wouldn't rush and would take the relationship slowly; you both were content with the agreement so nothing went wrong.

Law absolutely loves the fact that your love language is Quality Time, because we all know he isn't the type to give affection alot.

He'll try his best to plan a date every month, if you both are REALLY busy; he just likes having you in his office, not saying a word to eachother and instead basking in each other's presence.

Law gets lost whenever he locks eyes with you, like ??

Your eyes, they remind him of the ocean; so deep yet so calm.

Catch him staring at your blue orbs for no reason at all.

Law also loves the fact that you're good at drawing, you help Bepo with drawings maps now and it made him happy to see both his favorite things in the world go along so well.

Often times, when Law cannot sleep for the life of him, he'll come to your cabin and ask if you could play a tune for him to daze off to.

It always work, thus you have gained the nickname of 'Captains sleeping ticket' by the crew because only you can make him go to sleep.

He loves that you're open-minded, always up for any ideas he has in mind.

Law oftens just stop by to see how you're doing and admire your face; his hands trailing over your features - including your beauty mark.

Also, one of the things Law loves about your relationship with him is the huge height difference!

Like bruh .....you look so small compared to him, not to mention the fact he always looks like he wants to kill a man and then there's you by his side; having a soft aura around you that everybody feels attracted to.

It's a funny sight, not gonna lie-

Overall, your relationship with Law is pretty steady.

You were that calming presence he desperately needed; and he was your reminder to cherish every moment that comes to you.

sorry if law isn't the most compatible, although this is only my take on who would balance well with you.

You and him keeps eachother stable.

did i take it too far?? maybe, i'm sorry !! i really got into writing this, it was just so fun.

note; not proofread! so i apologize for any grammatical errors.

[littlemspeachy]

This Conversation is Getting Older and Older

Part Two of You Keep Me Waiting 

Warnings: Cursing, Mentions of Murder, A character is racist 

Word Count: 3.8K (Yup y’all are getting more to read)

Draco stares at where Hermione was once stood and sighed before muttering a repairing spell that fixes the broken picture frame, then came organizing his notes for Yazmeen while he was out.

"Hey, Draco, it's Yazmeen. I came for your notes on the death eater case," Yazmeen announced, peeking into his office.

Draco shot the younger girl a smile. "Yeah, I was getting them cleaned up for you. I know how much you hate having to work with illegible writing."

She laughs and shakes her head. "It's fine, you're fine. It's other people on this floor I have to worry about. But um.."

Draco looks up at her, an eyebrow raised.

"Nevermind, I'll talk to you when you get back."

Draco nods and hands over his revised notes. "Take good care of them. They're the only kind."

"I'm pretty sure that I can read your actual notes. But thank you anyway."

Draco smiles at her and watches her leave before grabbing his things and following after her.

"You know, for such a smart wizard, I came in here easily." She says coldly.

Draco pauses in his living room, unsure how to start the conversation.

"Daphne, I made it sure you could come in."

"You need to sign them," Daphne says, pulling a pen from her purse and setting it down on the divorce papers laid out before her.

"Not before my father dies," He responded, voice tight.

"I don't really care about your feelings about your father, and he's practically a shell of a human anyway. Why do you think he's back at the manor?" She shot back, staring pointedly at Draco.

Draco stays quiet because she's right: His father doesn't do anything but look outside to the garden, and he isn't improving his mother's health either in fact, she's gotten worse because of his father being back/ He was thinking of killing him, but after working in law enforcement he wasn't sure how that was going to work.

"Just sign the papers. This isn't for you; it's for me, so get over yourself." Her voice annoyed at how long this situation was taking her.

He sighs because she was right: He was being selfish. Making them stay married even though they haven't been in the same room for longer than 10 minutes in the past 8 years unless it was an event that was centered around his mother. So he walks over to sign the papers.

"Your mother misses you, you know, and she wants an explanation."

Draco pauses the signing of his last mane to look at the woman in front of him before he goes back to signing his last name.

"I don't know why you continue to visit her."

"Because at least one of us to maintain the image of a proper person. We all can't go running around like children on the playground."

Draco rolls his eyes equally as annoyed at his now ex-wife. "Listen, here're the documents, just send me an owl with a court date, and I'll make sure to be there."

Daphne just sighed and slipped the papers into her purse, and leaves through the front door. "You need to talk to her. Also, I poured out the tea. It was getting old.

Draco simply stares at her leaving, leaving his house and his life.

Maybe it was better this way.

He steps out of Hermione's fireplace and into a living room. A room that he knew way too well for simply being fuckbuddies with her roommate.

"I thought you had better wards up 'mione." A familiar voice commented from the other room.

"I did. It was Yazmeen who let him in." Hermione said, watching Draco step out of her fireplace. Fred followed her gaze and watched as Draco got reacquainted with the apartment. Draco noticing their gaze on him.

"Are you two just going to stare at me? If so, I could've met you at the train station," Draco commented, annoyed.

Fred laughs. "Some people never change. I'll see you when you get back," Fred said, smiling at the brown-skinned woman. He pauses at the door. "Keep her safe, Malfoy."

That, for some reason, catches him off guard, but he manages to get out a quick, yeah.

Hermione watched Fred leave before turning back to the blond-haired man who has moved out of her living room.

"You ready to go? I need to call a cab." Hermione asked.

"Yeah, I'm good. Don't know about you, though... Seemed a bit preoccupied." He shrugs, back turned away, looking at some artwork on the wall.

Hermione doesn't validate the statement and instead goes to call a cab. "One is in the area, and it'll be here in about 3 minutes."

Draco doesn't respond, so they exist in silence before Hermione asks, "You've been here plenty of times.. You don't stay over like you used to?"

Draco turns quickly to face the curly-haired woman. "Yeah, unlike like some of us, we have work to do."

"Now, what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It's obvious half your stuff isn't here, and with Fred being over, I'm going to assume it's at his place?"

All Hermione does is glare before going to look outside to her window. She notices the yellow cab outside, and instead of telling him of the new development, she simply grabs her bag and leaves but unfortunately for her, Draco is a smart man, and he quickly follows after her.

The ride to the train station is filled with tension and silence. Draco likes to think that he wondered if he overstepped a boundary, but then he remembered that he could care less about how he picked at her sex life. If she wanted to do that to him, he could do the same to her. But due to that pettiness, nobody spoke until they were on the train and even then, there wasn't much talking done.

"How are you?"

Hermione glares at him from her seat before rolling her eyes, annoyed at the question "You left me Draco,"

"You left me too; this wasn't a one-person thing,"

"So when were you going to tell me you were married?"

"I wasn't then, and I'm not now."

"Tell that to the gossip magazines."

"Tell that to the gossip magazines that wrote back to back articles about you and Krum? Since when did you listen to them? Also, when did you start caring for me outside of the bedroom?"

"I don't know but stop asking like you weren't the one knocking on my door at first."

The silence informs them both that neither of them have been good. Not that they were ever good, especially not back in college. Running to each other to find something familiar only to go back to hating each other the next day. That's what made the sex good, they both think. Too much passion made anything feel good during the moment, but it's in the morning that you have to wonder whether it was really worth it.

"So are you with him now? You hop from one ginger dick to another?

"Oh, I didn't know you were ginger, and it seems like we're both following patterns."

That one shuts him up because he realizes that he hasn't changed and only moved on to her intern, whose skin looks like the woman's sitting in front of them when the sun hits it just right.

"Also, I don't mind you having sex with Yazmeen, but having sex with every black woman in our office is.... A bit suspicious."

Draco doesn't know how to respond to the claim, so he simply changes the topic "Are you going to Harry's wedding?"

Hermione's eyes snap from the blond man to the window across from him. "Of course, I'm the maid of honor."

Draco isn't really surprised by the admission, "What an Honor. But you know it's surprising that she gave birth before being married."

"Not really.. Might have been going at it for a while, but unlike you, he can stay committed."

"What are you so mad at me for?"

"I don't know?  How about we start with the fact that you left Daphne right after getting married, only to start sleeping with me 3 months later. And then lying to her about it. She thought you loved her; I mean, sure, we all knew it wasn't going to last. But she wanted to at least make it work. But there we were fucking in the backseat while she was in the store."

"Listen, it takes two, don't pretend like you're innocent." He shot back-way too quickly for a man who wanted to seem unaffected from the claims.

"That would be a good claim, but there you were in my bed way past time for you to go, talking to me about the future and how uncertain you were and all that other bullcrap only for you to be in a dedicated marriage. It'd be a bit different if you both didn't give a damn."

Draco sat in silence because she was right. Always right.. Never wrong. Never wrong in the classes they were and certainly never wrong about the life they lived

"Well, we're getting a Divorce... to legalize the situation."

Hermione glares at him. "So that's what makes this better? A divorce after what? 5 years?"

Draco wants to say yes, but after knowing the woman sitting next to him for the past 18 years, he knows a warning sign he sees one, so he drops the subject.

They both know that they'll need to talk about this again, and they didn't need to read tea leaves for that. But just like tea, it can only steep for so long before becoming bitter, or maybe they were past that stage, and it just needed to be poured out.

The train comes to their stop, and they go to a cab that was already waiting for them; they both think that even though Sanchez is annoying and strict, he still knows how to be hospitable if hospitable meant a very homely looking hotel.

"Is this it? The place we're supposed to be staying?" Draco asked, voice full of disgust.

"Yea, this was the address given to me by Sanchez."

Hermione and Draco stared at the small white and brown homely inn that looked like its been around since the dark ages.

"Let's go. It's only a night." Hermione whispered, giving a nudge to Draco.

They climb out of the car and were preparing to go in before the driver rolled down the window. "I'm going to be here by 6 tomorrow evening to take you back to the train station and if need to floor just tell the lady at the desk and she'll help you. Good Luck."

They nod before walking in and realizing that the inside looks exactly like the outside. Homely and cold-one of the great perks of being in a city next to the water.

"Check-in for Sanchez," Hermione said, smiling at the hostess.

Draco stayed in the back and looked around, hoping to see something that would indicate the age of this inn, but unfortunately, nothing stood out but a pattern in one of the supporting beams.

"Hey, got the key," Hermione says, jingling the key in his face before walking down the hallway where the supposed hotel room was.

"15, 25, 35, and 45 is the lucky number."

"Why are the doors numbered like that?"

"I don't know you're the pureblood you tell me,"

Draco rolls her eyes at her response. "Why the hell would I know that?"

"The wizarding world is a weird place, and rich kids are supposed to be cultured," Hermione joked before seeing their bedding situation. "Of fucking course, how brilliant."

Draco was confused by her sudden change of tone until he saw what she was talking about: One bed.

One medium-sized bed in a room that was freezing cold.

As Draco starts to say something, Hermione cuts him off. "Listen, we can talk about this later," Hermione sighs before setting down her bag. "I'll go down and call us a cab to the station."

Draco watches her walk away with only her purse, confused as to why she never lets him talk. But he dismissed the thought when he casted a quick charm to keep their bags safe.

They get to the station and head over to sign in at the front desk "Officer Granger and Officer Malfoy is here to talk to... Your head officer, officer Pearce I believe, is the name, about the recent killings." Hermione says confidently while leaning slightly on the wooden desk.

"Why does he look so confused?" an officer asks while coming up behind the secretary that was checking her computer for confirmation.

"Listen, he doesn't do fieldwork; he does office stuff. This is his first time. Give him a break," Hermione confides, laughing slightly at the Blond man's facial expression.

The officer laughs and checks the computer that shows the confirmation. "Alright, let me check your IDs, and I'll get you guys back there." Draco and Hermione gave their IDs to the officer, and he nods that suggests they follow him to the back.

"Have you seen any pictures of the body? or any of the bodies?" Draco asks. He hasn't seen a dead body since the war, and even though it's been 10 years, the sight of them still can keep him up for days. He wonders how Harry moved on. He thinks he should ask him.

"No, we were only asked to get the statement from the old lady, and even then, it's a bit spotty."

"Well, can you fax a copy to our office so that we have a hard version in London? We're not going to take long." Hermione says, her voice more determined than usual.

"Yeah, I can do that for you. Alright, here's his office, by the way, he doesn't like this kind of stuff, so... You gotta be smart." The officer they were following says before knocking on a door that had the name of Anthony Pearce.

"Come in." A baritone voice commands from behind the door.

"Alright, good luck."

Hermione and Draco give the optimistic officer a nod before heading into the office.

"Hello Officer Pearce, we are investigators sent from London to talk to you about the report that was given to you after a recent murder against a young woman," Draco says, looking around the office before landing on the officer's face.

Hermione thinks that the officer looks like one of the men from Mama Mia.

"So when did they start sending in young ones with fancy outfits to deal with murder cases?" He inquired before lighting a cigarette.

"We aren't dealing with the murder it's self we're just trying to find out about the... uh.. designs being left on the bodies of the victims. I'm officer Malfoy, and this is my partner Granger." Draco shoots back at the man. He knew they were young for their field; there was no denying that, but they were good at their jobs, and there will be no one that questions that, muggle or not.

Officer Pearce raises a brow before tapping his cigarette into the ashtray. "Is that so? If you're only dealing with the designs, why do you want the lady's statements?"

"We want her statements because she was the last one to talk to the lady that was most recently killed, and she could possibly tell us some information that could help us understand what's going on," Draco responds with a slight huff.

Hermione rolled her eyes at Dracos body language 'how immature. You don't hold any power out here, pretty boy.'

"If that's the case, I could've just sent the report to your office. Why come all the way here for something we could've faxed you?" The older man responds, a demeaning edge to his voice.

"Because we're going to interview the woman tomorrow, and since we were in the city, we decided to question you directly. But if you don't want to comply, I can and will have you arrested for obstruction of justice." Hermione responds, a clear tone of annoyance in her voice.

Pearce stares at Hermione and then looks at Draco. "You should keep her around; she gets stuff done. And I'll get you the interview report, and I can't tell you anything because I didn't conduct it and what was said was nothing out of the usual... But I have received some pictures of the, uh, drawings." He says before going through a drawer and bringing out a manila folder.

"Can we look at them?" Hermione asked softly.

"I can make you a copy," He says, putting out his cigarette before heading over to the printer. "Now, why'd you come here? These murders have been happening for a while."

"It's because our office thought these were stand-alone cases. It's London.. And unfortunately, people get killed all the time." Hermione says slowly, making her seem sadder than she actually was.

"Understandable, but Liverpool does have its crime.. Luckily we're not in the city, so it's a bit easier for us." Pearce says before handing Draco the first page.

"If you don't mind me asking... Why were you so resistant to us knowing the information?" Draco asked, passing the page to Hermione.

"Because whoever is doing this is getting off scot-free. And they're sick cunts too. Imagine, instead of just killing the bloke, you carve patterns into their skin. I tell ya it's some of them, refugees."  Pearce says, handing them the next two copied pages.

Hermione looks up from the pictures. "Sir, this is obviously not Arabic. And it's interesting that a cop that is supposed to serve his community has those kinds of feelings for the people he's supposed to be protecting."

"Nah, none of them live around here, and a good thing too. Don't want them to be committing crimes and stuff." Pearce says, walking back to his desk and lighting another cigarette.

Draco noticed the fist tightly wrapped around the paper before speaking up. "Thank you for your time here, sir... If we hear anything thing new, we'll make sure to let you know."

Pearce simply nods before going off into his own world as they left.

"What a fucking bigot." Hermione angrily whispered. Draco stayed silent shocked at the bluntness of the officers' rudeness, but then he realized that his father was the same towards muggles.

They walked to the front and thanked the secretary, and then went to an empty-looking coffee shop across the street.

"My father was like that, wasn't he?" Draco asks while they were sitting down in their chosen seats.

Hermione looks up from the small menu provided at their table. "You think?"

Draco drops the subject before reaching over and grabbing the files.

"How may I help yous?" A bubbly waitress asked Hermione, almost completely ignoring Draco.

"I would like a cup of coffee, straight please." Hermione says with a smile that makes the younger girl blush.

"And I would like a cup of earl grey and some of the strongest stuff you have." Draco says dryly.

The waitress doesn't respond but jots the items down. "That'll be right out."

Draco watches the waitress retreat to behind the bar. "What the hell was that about?"

"Aww, are you mad that you didn't get attention?" Hermione teasingly giggled while picking up her well used legal pad.

Draco didn't respond.

"Hey, Malfoy, do you work with still work with ruins, or are your college years being wasted on artifacts?" Hermione asks, laying out the pictures in front of her.

"Mainly artifacts and studying the charms people put on them," He responds before the waitress came over.

"Here is your drink and alcohol, and your drink, ma'am, is still being made." The waitress says in a light, bubbly tone.

Hermione nods in recognition, but her brows stay furrowed in concentration.

The waitress leaves before Draco speaks up again, clear liquid in hand.

"Don't drink that right now," Hermione says, quickly looking up and snatching the glass of clear liquid. She sniffs if before confirming. "It's moonshine.. That's some powerful stuff, and if you want to coherent while researching, then I suggest you leave that for later." Hermione informs before pulling out an empty flask.

Draco looks at her curiously before pouring the clear liquid into the flask.

"Look, they didn't die graphically. There's no blood if that what you're worried about." Hermione says, looking up at the blond across from her.

"No..That's- I just.. If something big happens when we're on this case, we're going to become much more than researchers, and I just- I left the field for a reason, and I really don't care to be put back in. I was perfectly fine at my desk and perfectly capable of what I was doing."

Hermione looks at him deeply at him before looking back down at the ruins. "That's wonderful to know, and I understand I really do, but we've been working under Sanchez since our internships. And I know that he's smart enough not to let his head researchers go into the field blindly just to get killed. He knows we can handle ourselves out here. Meaning you gotta start trusting yourself. Plus, after this, we'll probably get a nice vacation offering once we're done, so suck it up and let's figure this out before more people die."

Draco sips on his tea, considering the words of the intelligent woman in front of him.

"Here's your coffee, ma'am... Buy the way it's on the house." The waitress interrupts, setting down the requested coffee.

Draco rolls his eyes at the "sincere" action before grabbing his wallet and handing the young woman 100 pounds. "Keep the change."

Hermione gawks at the exchange but doesn't voice her comment until the woman goes away.

"Do you know how much money that is?"

Draco sends her a confused look before replacing his wallet with his glasses. "All right, what are we looking at."

"Well, firstly, you're starting to look like Harry for one. I get you both are basically office mates but geez. And secondly, I think it's Egyptian. Like something found in tombs, but then there's more stuff that I can't really think of... Maybe Mayans?"

Draco grabs a pictured and stares before shaking his head. "Possibly, but there seems to be a mix of several curses among the charms. Those are most certainly from Egypt, and that's probably how the doctors died," He says before grabbing another picture. "Yeah, because they look like hieroglyphics, and so they decoded them and then cursed themselves. But how he got them on the body is what's' really confusing."

Hermione nods before asking, "Don't you have tea with you?"

"Yeah, but I know it's cold, and so I got a new cup."

A new cup indeed.

[stoopsbookstore]

Fansite

Synopsis- After months of being fanboys, Hyunjin and his friends arennew fansites for the girl group, Hue, and after several misadventures, the group is starting to recognize them, Hyunjin in particular, as the most memorable fanboys they've met.

"None of these photos came out right, they're all blurry," Jaemin slammed his laptop shut in anger, "how am I supposed to be the best Cerise fansite out there if I can't even catch her in moment? Look! Her hair looks amazing, but her face is all blurry because Lil-"

A pillow hit the boy in the face as Hyunjin looked up from his laptop, "Don't blame Lilac! It's not my fault your camera is 4 years old and there's dust inside of it."

"At least he didn't drop our gift to them. Starbucks aren't cheap, that order had to be like 30 dollars," Gai pointed out to the group, fixing the TV signal, "I'll never forget the look on Bai's face when that black coffee with 2 sugar packets fell the group."

"To be fair, it was only 20 dollars because Cerise isn't supposed to have caffeine since she was in the hospital back in February and the doctor told her to cool it."

"Stop being such a fanboy," Hyunjin swatted Jaemin's hair as he collected the pillow from the floor.

Hyunjin, Jaemin, Gai and Jongho were having a monthly meeting for their favorite girl group, Hue, and this is their first meeting as official fansites of the girls. Gai's bias was Emerald, Jaemin's was Cerise, Jongho couldn't decide between Cierra or Bai and Hyunjin immediately fell for Lilac, as known as Y/N. The boys sat around the tv as Hue's interview started.

"Color the sky! Hi, we are Hue!" The girls cheeted in unison, each dressed in their respective color.

"We are so proud of our Shades. Because of you all, we have our first win for 'Borealis,' and we couldn't be anymore thankful," Cierra, the group's leader, dressed in a black tanktop, black shorts and fishnets with boots, spoke.

"We also have another announcement!" Cerise, the main dancer dressed in a short pink plaid skirt and a matching t-shirt, pointed to the camera.

"Yes, we do, Cerise!" Emerald, the main rapper clad in a green outfit similar to Cierra, continued the prepared speech, "we're inviting several fansites to an exclusive fanmeet!"

"That we are!" Bai, the maknae in a white, off the shoulder dress spoke, "Lilac is going to announce the 40 fansites who are coming to this special event happening in 2 days at Thalian Hall."

As soon as the girl in the purple v-neck t-shirt with matching high-waisted shorts and garter belts came on the screen, Hyunjin was mesmerized. A chorus of birds spinning around his head as he imagined his life with Lilac.

"Oh, Lilac! I love you so much!"

"Hyunie! We're getting married! Please call me Y/N!"

"Oh Y/N, my bride! My princess!"

He broke out of his daydream as Jongho started shaking him.

"We're going to the event! This time as official people! We're going to get passes and get to see them up close!" Jongho yelled in Hyunjin's face.

"We can make up for all those fanmeets where Hyunjin destroyed a set piece!" Gai cheered, running to clean his camera.

"Or accidentally hit a bodyguard!" Jaemin kissed the TV screen when Cerise showed up, disgusting Jongho as he patted Hyunjin on the back, "or all the times we tried to give them little gifts, only for Hyunjin to get them taken or ruin them."

"Bro! This is our chance! We actually get to talk to the girls for a little bit and even hold their hands! We finally get to have photos that we can edit! We can make our own gifs!" Jongho cheered, jumping up and down on the sofa.

Hyunjin sat stunned, he has an opportunity to make up for his slip-ups. He still doesn't forgive himself for accidentally spilling a unicorn frappuccino for Y/N down a bodyguard's back.

'Hopefully she has forgotten about that incident'

"Ok, guys," Hyunjin opened his laptop on the table, hyping the group up, "if we're going to impress the girls, we should practice!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Color the sky! Hi, we wre Hue!" The girl group announced their presence as the small 40-person audience cheered.

"We are so proud of you Shade, that we had to do something special," Cyan spoke in the microphone, a small amount of feedback fading in and out.

"I already see a few familiar faces out there," Emerald waved her lightstick in the air, "Emmy's World, who has been to every event since pre-debut! A legendary Shade, if I do say so myself."

The crowd laughed as the sound of shutters and the bright flashes went off, capturing the girls in every moment. Hyunjin watched as the crowd had different techniques to get the girls' attention. Emmy's World had a sign above their camera that said "Emerald, over here!" Another fansite called Light Cream for Bai had a polar bear plushie taped to the top of their camera and Jaemin was dressed head to toe in hot pink for Cerise, becoming the fansite Neon Flamingo.

Hyunjin felt like he was disassociating, this isn't his real life, it's just a dream and he's going to wake up soon, Gai is going to freak out because he found a cute picture of Emerald that actually allowed editing, Jaemin will be attempting to DM Cerise and Jongho will be making a pros-cons list of having a double bias.

Hyunjin heard his fansite name, Field of Lilacs, through the speaker. He walked to the front of the crowd, shooting photos of Y/N as she posed in a purple mid-thigh skater skirt, her off-white lilac-hued button up tucked into the skirt.

"Hey," Y/N pointed at Hyunjin, "you're the coffee guy, right?!"

Hyunjin wished to shrink in on himself as he felt everyone's eyes on him, some burning holes into his head. Hyunjin kept his head down, looking at the pictures he took, ashamed of the fact he's known as the coffee guy. He wanted to run away, but he continued to take photos.

A wave of guilt came over Y/N. Maybe she shouldn't have brought that up, she just wanted to make the cute guy with the light blue shirt knew he was actually one of the fans the girls knew and talked about all the time.

'Does he feel bad about the coffee? It was just an accident...'

Y/N whispered to Emerald, no one could tell for Y/N had hid her mouth by her hand. After Emerald had talked to one of their managers, Y/N kept her eye on Hyunjin, who felt awkward the rest of the event.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Guys! Holy shit, we have so many good photos! Look at Cyan!" Gai flipped through his camera roll as Jaemin and Jongho were looking at each other's photos.

Hyunjin sat on a bench outside the event hallway, kicking his feet as he played with the camera strap. The other three boys were running around like chickens with their heads cut off when Hyunjin was approached by a tall man.

"Ms. Y/N is asking for you," the bodyguard towered over Hyunjin, the intimidation factor causing Hyunjin to go wide-eyed, "Nothing bad. She just wishes to talk to you privately."

Hyunjin took a glimpse at his friends, who were still comparing photos and talking about their favorite moments, "Uuhh, yea, sure."

The pair walked down the hallway, heading towards a double door which led to the Hue tour bus and the five members standing outside the bus, making sure they have all their luggage.

"Thanks Davey," Y/N dismissed the bodyguard as he patted Hyunjin's back, the boy lurching forward, Y/N's hands catching his shoulders and helping him avoid falling.

"Umm, sorry," Hyunjin kept curled up in himself.

"No, oh my God, I should be sayimg sorry to you. I didn't realize you were embarrassed by the whole coffee situation," Y/N apologized, feeling genuinely awful about the situation, "I know some of the fansites were plotting your demise by the way they were staring at you."

Hyunjin sported a small smile, "honestly, it's okay. I just wasn't expecting it from my ultimate bias."

"Oh?!" Y/N dramatically put her hand over her heart, "little old me?! Your ultimate bias? I think Neon Flamingo may be my favorite fansite."

Hyunjin and Y/N started laughing, the awkwardness fading as they continued to stand around each other. They shared glances at each other until Y/N reached into her bag, pulling out a piece of paper and a purple pen.

"Here. It's my personal profile," Y/N handed Hyunjin a piece of paper, hiding it under Bai's camera, "be careful, if it gets out, Davey is going to blame you and he knows your face very well."

"I can buy him a coffee if it would make him feel better," Hyunjin adjusted the bag on his shoulder, easing his fidgetiness.

Y/N and Hyunjin stood in comfortable silence as the three other boys started shouting for their missing friend.

"I should probably go as well, we have rehearsals tonight," Y/N softly smiled at Hyunjin, "it was really nice actually getting to talk to Mr. Disaster."

Hyunjin chuckled at the nickname, realizing he's still holding Bai's camera, "if you don't mind, may I get one photo?"

"I don't think Bai would mind," Y/N took the camera, putting her hand on Hyunjin's waist as she extended her arm out.

The camera flashed and she kissed Hyunjin's cheek, the photo printing out as she handed it to Hyunjin. Hue's manager started yelling for all the girls to get in the bus, Y/N running and waving back at Hyunjin.

"I'll see you later," Y/N shouted as the door to the bus closed, leaving Hyunjin with the photo of the pairing.

Putting the small photo in his phonecase, Hyunjin unlocked his phone, opening an app and adding Y/N. After a short bit, his phone pinged with a notification he never thought he would see.

"LilacLovesHue has added you!"

[silentconceptions]

A conversation between potential lovers..

Her: To be honest with you, I have been feeling like I made a mistake

Him: Sorry to hear that/that you feel this way 😔 In my opinion the only mistake we can really make in these sort of matters is not trying 🤷🏻‍♂️ You can waste your whole life on what if’s and doubts but in the end, all we take with us is our experiences and memories 😌 It’s the same philosophy I have on regrets. I rather regret doing something than live wondering what could’ve been/happened 💁🏻‍♂️

Her: I messed up and that's on me, nothing to do with you

Him: You haven’t messed up 🙄 and it does have to do with me 😒

Her: Yea, you're too awesome to handle, lol

Him: Don’t try to stroke my ego/pull the it’s not you, it’s me 😪

Her: It is me

Him: Nah.. You’re afraid of being hurt because in your eyes, it won’t be worth it in the end/why bother even trying. So in that sense it IS me.

Her: 🤔 still me, since I am not strong enough to deal with it

Him: Eh.. it’s mostly your perception of me so I feel like I’m to blame 😔 I wouldn’t wanna make you feel pressured into doing anything you didn’t want to.. But I feel like giving something a shot is worth it in the end even if things don’t pan out how you expected. I’ve been pleasantly surprised plenty of times while being on the fence initially when it came to things in my life. We never know what we’re capable of unless we try 🤷🏻‍♂️ Giving up on something because you THINK it might not work out is one of the worst mistakes anyone can make. That sort of defeatist attitude/perspective would have anyone at a stand still for their whole life if they let it 🙄

Her: I lost my trust in you within a day. Don't ask me how, I just did. And suddenly everything about you, hurt. So sure, I am defeated! And no, it's not you. I just can't deal with it.

Him: It wasn’t in a day 😪.. I’m sure you were losing trust in me gradually just hadn’t realized it. Still hurts though 😔

Her: I am sorry, I messed up. But, everything else in your life is going to be great.

Him: You didn’t mess up.. You’re just afraid. I get it, just doesn’t make it any easier to deal with 😕 I really want to get to know you better/spend some time with you 😶

Her: You'll be ok, you dodged a bullet.

Him: I think you’re amazing and should stop putting yourself down 😠 If you’re the bullet, I rather jump in front of it and cross my fingers/hope for the best (you won’t hit any major organs if we do it right 😂)

Her: You're the amazing one and deserve better/everything you need and no, don't dive in front of bullets for the sake of love.

Him: There’s no such thing as “better” when it comes to people. We all have our faults and merits. That’s the beauty of life and relationships. They’re perfectly imperfect.. I want you, and everything that entails 🤷🏻‍♂️

Her: I know I messed up, this is my fault, I accept it. You're amazing! and will always be.. I've read everything you've said, and I do see your side... but I will leave that to someone who is deserving of your company and time.

Him: You don’t give yourself enough credit 😔 In my eyes, you’re more than deserving of my company and time. I should consider myself fortunate to even know someone as amazing as you 🙄 Just give it some more time/thought before you close yourself off to me? ..and again, you haven’t messed up or made ANY mistakes. The only mistake you COULD make is letting something that’s potentially beautiful/life altering slip past you due to doubt and fear of the unknown.

Her: There isn't any unknown, I thought about it. And I know... there's no good ending

Him: You don’t KNOW that 😔 You’re just assuming it’ll end one of two ways 😪 Neither of which you want.. and I’m telling you it’s not that black and white

Her: you're poly, I'm mono. I'm never going to be open to poly... I'm not going to sit around and watch the man I love fuck around with other girls. neither am I gonna start a relationship and be on the back burner feeling like I need to make an appointment for someone's time. neither am I going to ask a poly person to be in a mono relationship, because that would be like asking me to stop being hindu. and neither will I fly there just for sex, especially when I have no chance at something real. Because you hate my views on being mono. it's just what it is. I've accepted it.

Him: See, your perception of me is so skewed because you’re seeing it all in definites/hard solids. I am nebulous by nature/can never tell you that things are ALWAYS gonna be exactly one way so you assuming that I’ll always want/need someone other than you is unreal. NONE of those things are anywhere near what I’m like in a relationship and being poly/having an open relationship isn’t a must for me 🙄 You’d never have to “make an appointment” with me even if we were just dating/feeling things out.. Even now, no one “makes appointments” with me. The conversation we had about that sorta stuff was just how things work out when you’re courteous and want to make time for someone while still being mindful of their schedule/your own. That’s just like any other thing in life when your mindful of someone else’s time 🤷🏻‍♂️ Also, I never said I hated your views on monogamy. When we spoke of it I said overall that monogamy has it faults, but so does polyamory. You’d know this if you didn’t jump to conclusions/assumed my position on all of these things 💁🏻‍♂️ You think there’s no potential for something real between us because in your eyes it’s black and white/I’d only be happy if I were allowed to fuck other women but you don’t know me well enough yet to make that assumption. I’ve been in 2 open relationships and 4 monogamous ones. Doesn’t that tell you something?

Her: And how did the monogamous ones go? Did they end well? No. I met you being poly. And I will never ask you to be something else. It's either I accept it right now or not. And if it's worth anything, I really do think you're amazing. Anyone would be lucky to have you.

Him: So, we’re not supposed to do anything unless it’s guaranteed to end well? No relationships “ends well”. Sure, some end on mutual terms or amicably and at times you might even stay friends. But it ALWAYS hurts and they never end well. Either way, what does how my monogamous relationships ended have to do with this when in NONE of them polyamory had anything to do with why they ended? Again, you’re jumping to conclusions without any facts to back them up because you swear that my last serious relationship ended due to polyamory (and that’s just because you’re biased towards it/you’re seeing it through filtered lenses). That relationship ended because of how she dealt with grief and loss. She was polyamorous herself but you’ve obviously ignored that every time we’ve spoken about it in favor of your view in it all. If you’d take a moment to find out how and why my monogamous relationships ended you’d see that cheating (seeing as you swear this is more likely) or polyamory wasn’t even on the radar for any of them. I’ve never cheated on anyone nor have I ever felt the need to step outside of a relationship 🤷🏻‍♂️ Also, you comparing me being capable of being in polyamorous relationships to you being Hindu proves that you don’t understand it at all. Polyamory is something I’m capable of, it’s not who I am. I can be perfectly happy in a monogamous relationship and feel fulfilled/not have the urge to find someone else to sleep with 🙄 If you truly think I’m so amazing then why not take the leap of faith and find out if we were lucky to bump into each during this life/time around? All I’m asking is that you don’t close yourself off to me just yet 😔 There’s something here and I know you feel it too.. 😒

Her: I am attracted to you. It just is what it is... I hope you have a great weekend. Have fun for the both of us!

Him: Stop being so dismissive about it 😑🙄 You’re basing your decision to distance yourself from me on assumptions/doubts and what if’s 😪 It only “is what it is” because you’re choosing to be pessimistic and believe anything between us is bound to fail or fall apart 🤦🏻‍♂️

Her: I am sorry. But I do want you to have a great weekend!

Him: Yeah 😒.. Don’t think I’m gonna enjoy this weekend much but thanks. Pretty sure I’ll be ruminating over this for quite a while. I’ll stop bothering you about it/with my thoughts and feelings on it though..

Her: Ty, I appreciate that. We still have to deal with each other till we finish this project. I can end it or we can finish it all at once some day so you still get credit for it.

Him: I never said I wanted to cut ties 🙄 You must really have me all sorts of wrong/painted out in a horrible light if you think I’m THAT petty. I just meant I wouldn’t make things awkward for you by sharing how I feel or suggesting/hoping you’d come visit 🤷🏻‍♂️ Unless YOU rather not talk to me anymore, I don’t see why we couldn’t stay in touch 🤦🏻‍♂️

_________________________________

Soon after this things devolved and fell apart. Every conversation became emotionally charged and taxing until I felt her become cold a disconnected. She closed herself off to me. I felt like I messed up somewhere along the way and if I had just found the right words or said them in the right order thing would’ve played out differently..

A part of me knows that it’s possible all of this had very little to do with me and a lot to do with her past and what she considered herself capable of..

Even so, knowing any of this doesn’t make it all hurt any less 😪

[dog-day-morning]

WHAT THE HELL YOU SAY?? If you ascribe to the Lord's precept upon the precept's way of interpreting scripture livelihood you can conquer that 3 headed demon. 1 John 2:16 16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. Not too many of us have overcome these stalagmite sized thorn's so it gives reason to say that no one has truly overcome the world except those who've made it to the Kingdome. You gotta die in order to live. That's what they've been telling us since they enslaved us while they lived off of the fat of the lamb right here on Earth. It doesn't pain me to witness learned men of the Bible speak improbable things that aren't in accordance with the calling to be entrusted as a shepherd. Esau has found it upon himself to place his doctrine before God’s word. When your spiritual leaders become lovers of money it doesn't bode well for the parishioners of your Church that looks more like a cult whom Reverend No Good is playing with their financial contributions like it was 3 card monte every Sunday. I've not been corrupted with wealth by way of Mammon which has corrupted many in the Black clergy that in due time will make some believe they're God. That's cray cray. The Evangelical Rights vision of an all white Christian, Denomination Nation is being subjected to the scrutiny of every Black man who historically followed the teachings of their overseers. The people who have misled, and hated us no longer have a cover for their miscalculated deception to fall back on. In the eyes of God it was good for men to be revealed for their love of things that are temporal which have no worth, or meaningful value in the order of things. If the Kingdome has streets paved with gold, and we walk on them with our feet, what meaning taken from this premise that God has spelled out for Israel, and the gentile can you determine? 1 John 4:1-6 4 Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world. 2 Hereby know ye the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesseth that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is of God: 3 And every spirit that confesseth not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is not of God: and this is that spirit of antichrist, whereof ye have heard that it should come; and even now already is it in the world. 4 Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world. 5 They are of the world: therefore speak they of the world, and the world heareth them. 6 We are of God: he that knoweth God heareth us; he that is not of God heareth not us. Hereby know we the spirit of truth, and the spirit of error. The Spirit of Truth isn't what or who you believe it to be. God uses men to speak to His lost people yea though this Prophet’s in need of psychotherapy. I bear the burden of Israel's hatred, and frustration towards the God of Israel assuredly. But you as well as I must stand before the Lord God on the Day of Judgment to see if heaven will become our new address? This Nation has hated God's people much longer than the date of my birth, way before the mystery of God was revealed 3-4 generations ago in this day and time. The people of Edom have been trying to eliminate God's people off the Earth for the past 3 thousand years without actually thinking to themselves how can they maintain this planet without God behind this for we are not His people? Does the colloquial term biting off your nose to spite your face mean anything to you? If so, apply it right here. They’ve tried to destroy God's people, and they’re not wholly convinced that a man of questionable intelligence who's a case for Milledgeville; “Beyond the Tuskegee Experiment,” is the one chosen for such a hefty task? Have you seen pix of 45 walking through the white House with feces dripping from his Depends as though that crap was normal? I rest my case. I've questioned everything under the sun. The answer always goes

back to the Father. Esau, and his children have destroyed more Civilizations than they've built PERIOD!!! The Egyptians, and the Sumerians gave you astronomy, math, and languages, you still can't figure out how the Egyptians constructed the Pyramids of Giza. My God's people (Indigenous Blacks) invented the cotton gin which was a blessing to us in building, and establishing this global economy for your people. We invented the automobile, the telephone, the major component for the illuminating light bulb, the modern computer, including the internet. We invented the first Central Air and Heating unit. You stole everything from us, and after these brilliant men, and women passed, you kept all rights, and patents to their ingenuity, even if some of them were slaves this should've stayed in their family as generational wealth, and you refuse to even make us an offer of reparations which would be a slap in our face. trump did succeed in his greatest accomplishment. The destruction of Western Civilization as we all know it. I pity you not. Jeremiah 14:14 14 Then the Lord said unto me, The prophets prophesy lies in my name: I sent them not, neither have I commanded them, neither spake unto them: they prophesy unto you a false vision and divination, and a thing of nought, and the deceit of their heart. 1 Timothy 6:17-19 17 Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be not highminded, nor trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who giveth us richly all things to enjoy; 18 That they do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to distribute, willing to communicate; 19 Laying up in store for themselves a good foundation against the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life. You had Evangelical pastors losing it over the presidential election of 2020 who went out on a limb for a man whose broken all ten of the Ten Commandments including murder. Whattup Jeffrey Epstein?!! They openly supported an orange hobbit who brought down the house of Esau with their support. Paula white beat her hands so hard that night calling on the god of aboo daboo to bring the fallen angels from Africa on Mount Hermon to fight the battle to prolong WS; WTF?!! I saw a bevy of false prophets ministering in the name of white Jesus who lied saying God spoke to them in a dream Himself personally, declaring that trump would serve a 2nd term, and sit in the oval office again with his cronies while Rome finished burning to the ground. Biden who's just as racist as Bull Connor, but for the sake of political correctness we’ll call him a left wing, conservative moderate. Add it all up, and these people are gonna hate us forever. Yeshua is coming back for Israel; let us get that point across. You will have some of those who will cleave unto the house of Judah that's Israel who will enter New Jerusalem. But, this doesn't bode well for the majority of Edom or Israel. Only a remnant of the remnant shall enter into His glory that is Israel. All of those people who look like us, you know, they're our skinfolk, but they wouldn't accept an invitation to a family reunion unless the Grand Dragon of the kkk showed up dripping with the blood of twelve Black servicemen after your first cousin who's about 6 feet 2 damn B i i i i i G beat him to within an ounce of Jack Daniels proving that a retarded 9yr old with a degree in I hate Bubba can do all things through my doctor who prescribes me 200 grams of Crack. The high profile, low down political pundits, and elected officials who sell us out when the opportunity presents itself, are not Israel. These are the people who are getting paid filthy lucre to walk confederate with those that seek our blood. Some people have trouble sleeping because their job calls for them to prosecute their people unfairly as District Attorney’s. You have a conundrum to deal with, call on Maaco. You can be as Daniel Cameron desires, hoping to become what Kamala Harris has become with even higher aspirations or walk away from your white bread world, and your white zaddy, saving your soul in the process. Believe it or

not God gave me a conscience that's why He has told me to GET OUT!!! Or else. For those who heed these words which are straight interpretations from the Bible, walking with God beats running with the devil of which the remnant will see a reward. Isaiah 28:5 5 In that day shall the Lord of hosts be for a crown of glory, and for a diadem of beauty, unto the residue of his people. If Yeshua wasn't full of grace and mercy, willing to sacrifice Himself for a greater reward that is His Father’s inheritance; the Jew, and the other gentiles would suffer more so had He not been ransom for Israel, and their souls. As I mentioned, Esau, and Jacob are forever at odds. Jacob's not the problem. God has seen fit for some of Esau who are not of Edom, but walk in line with the Fathers people that will enter into His good graces along with Jacob who's the beginning, Esau’s the end. 2 Esdras 6:9 9 Now Esau is the end of this age, and Jacob is the beginning of the age that follows. If the minority who are the people of the caucasus mountains cant get along with this amount of Black people on Earth today, you're not Kingdome ready. Jacob's future is bright, and the angels in heaven are Dark Black. Balsamic Black. You must question yourselves, and be truthful. do you believe you're of the chosen elect? Forget I even asked. Romans 11:1-5 11 I say then, Hath God cast away his people? God forbid. For I also am an Israelite, of the seed of Abraham, of the tribe of Benjamin. 2 God hath not cast away his people which he foreknew. Wot ye not what the scripture saith of Elias? how he maketh intercession to God against Israel saying, 3 Lord, they have killed thy prophets, and digged down thine altars; and I am left alone, and they seek my life. 4 But what saith the answer of God unto him? I have reserved to myself seven thousand men, who have not bowed the knee to the image of Baal. 5 Even so then at this present time also there is a remnant according to the election of grace. Life's cruelties has taught me not to trust anyone, almost giving up on humanity save the Son of man who is my Savior, and even He has led me into stony, dry places because of my hardened heart that cannot keep thoughts to itself or maintain a compassionate level of human kindness. If this were 1961, and God chose someone with a sane mind he would've been dead before they blew out the 13th candle on his birthday cake. That's the psychosis of Edomites. The remnant doesn’t consist of Israel only, they happen to be the major portion. God will bless those who pass the test that is Tribulation with a robe of white, and a diadem of gold. Don't expect your favorite tele evangelical pastor who supported trump to walk into the Kingdome unless he has an epiphany of the truth that is Yeshua. Many men of Jacob will teach you whereas you've taught us about our history while revising its truth, and reinventing yourselves based on your fallacies which denigrates you because it's based on our legacy, and heritage. Everything we've done here on Earth is chronicled in the heavens, with no stone left unturned. To the detriment of a baseless people who seek to exalt themselves over God's truths this is what the truth has boiled down to. It ain't in ya. Yet some of the gentiles will enter the Kingdome of heaven without ever having to face abuse, persecution, death, pain, fear, or sickness and disease ever again. When God told Abraham that all nations and families of the Earth would be blessed through his loins this was one of the blessings in the case of the gentiles he made conclusive because Abraham was faithful though Sarah's womb was barren, and he had not the strength to conceive a child in his old age, so he thought. Romans 11:21-26 21 For if God spared not the natural branches, take heed lest he also spare not thee. 22 Behold therefore the goodness and severity of God: on them which fell, severity; but toward thee, goodness, if thou continue in his goodness: otherwise thou also shalt be cut off. 23 And they also, if they abide not still in unbelief, shall be grafted in: for God

is able to graft them in again. 24 For if thou wert cut out of the olive tree which is wild by nature, and wert grafted contrary to nature into a good olive tree: how much more shall these, which be the natural branches, be grafted into

their own olive tree? 25 For I would not, brethren, that ye should be ignorant of this mystery, lest ye should be wise in your own conceits; that blindness in part is happened to Israel, until the fulness of the Gentiles be come in. 26 And so all Israel shall be saved: as it is written, There shall come out of Sion the Deliverer, and shall turn away ungodliness from Jacob. The comforters in need of some Alka-Seltzer or Maalox. If you heed the teachings of Jesse Duplantis who teaches a Christian doctrine, that's a man made religion, based on a Hebrew Bible about Israelite people that the world refuses to acknowledge we are God's people not the squatters over in the Middle East which geographically is another fabrication like the size of Alkebulan that dwarfs all other land masses. Ain't nothing changed. Pat Robertson, Joyce Meyer, Rick Warren, Franklin Graham who supports Africa, and its people who are in need, yet is a staunch supporter of trump, and his all but dead lawless administration that's brought about the collapse of the Western hierarchy; makes him look schizophrenic. He could have a stake in the Motherland, and he's watching after his, our investment you tell me, but something's not adding up. I have an Apostle who I trust to a degree more so than members of my natural family which isn't a good look for Gomez, and the rest of the Adams Family. Israel is a forgiving people, because God is in them. I didn't include myself for reasons you'll find out by this time tomorrow as soon as I find the reasoning behind this façade of illusive illusions the world's trying to catch, and I'm trying to outrun called reality. Chase me down with a bag full of Bacon Cheeseburgers, and blow me a kiss before I eat from Frechelle’s goody bag. This is where I leave my computer. My senility is showing, and it looks like the ugliest dog in the pound entered in the Ms. America contest. Good morning. 10/1/2021

[lifeisdabubbles-undersalmondean]

La Pomme ~ Chapter 13

Pairing: Sam x OC (eventual Dean x OC and Dean x Castiel. And I mean eventual.)

Series summary: George is a casual French-Mistake-universe Supernatural fan living in no-COVID 2020, who's life is upended when she's suddenly launched between realities, two years into the boys' past (S13E22). What begins as an insane, immersive fan experience turns into more when Jack goes missing and George offers up her AU information to help track him down. Soon it's discovered that she and Sam may actually have history. But that's impossible, right?

Word Count: 3,800

Warnings: {smut, fluff, angst, show level violence, swearing, mentions of suicide} ***Detailed warnings will be tagged for specific chapters.

A/N: Following the events of my prequel Paradise and second story From My Eyes Off. Reading those first gives context but isn’t necessary to start this one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Early the next morning, they'd all gotten outta bed a little sluggish but showered and dressed quickly. George was moving extra slow because what little sleep she did get had been plagued by nightmares. Typically she could remember even the smallest details of her incredibly vivid dreams for hours after she awoke, but this time the only thing she could focus on was a lingering sense of panic, like she was being hunted by something dangerous.

The exhaustion ended up being a blessing, though, because Sam and George were both too tired to be awkward around each other while they got ready. As he showered, George dressed in her new clothes; the dark bootcut jeans, maroon v-neck long sleeved tee, and Friends hoodie. She gave a little knock on the bathroom door to let Sam know that the coast was clear, before sitting down to slip on her new black tennis shoes.

He emerged a few moments later dressed in a dark blue and white flannel and dark blue jeans, his wet hair slicked back and out of his face. That damn sexy beard was still there, too; still wet from the shower.

Oh my. Her eyes went wide, feeling the temperature in the room skyrocket. Sam must have caught her reaction because he looked down at himself curiously.

"What?" He wondered.

"Er--nothing! Sorry." She mumbled, quickly turning away to hide her smirk.

That's all the caffeine my libido needed.

While she fanned herself discreetly, she gathered up her things. Once she was sure she had everything--including the teddy--Sam threw on his chocolate brown jacket and they left the room, meeting up with Dean and Cas at the car. Everyone was ready to hit the road by sunrise.

They stopped at the Carrier Bistro, another Carson City gem, for a quick breakfast because Sam and George were starving. Matching their car seating arrangements, Dean and Sam sat on one side of the booth, Cas and George sat across from them. Castiel got water, George got iced tea, a waffle, and a side of eggs, Sam got an egg white omelet, and Dean, who'd already eaten nearly half the pie George bought for him, ordered some toast and a side of bacon (because a little grease is the perfect thing to top off a ton of sugar in the morning). Both brothers also ordered 'the world's largest coffee or the next best thing.'

When the waiter left, George filled them in on her adventures the night before.

"Once I left you guys, I tried taking the cab to my mom's house but no one was there. The house didn't even look the same, but I know it was the right address. Same thing for my dad's house, the house I grew up in across town, and the condo my brother recently bought. They all looked different and no one I recognized was there. So, I decided to try researching my family to see if I could track down where they were and that's when I found that." She gestured at the article she'd found about the house fire that was set on the table between them.

"That's why you went to the college?" Dean confirmed.

George seemed surprised, "Yea… how did yo-"

"It's what we do," He responded coolly, taking a sip of his coffee when the waiter dropped their drinks off.

"We tracked you down through the cab company," Sam reminded her. After a beat she remembered him mentioning it the night before, nodding affirmatively.

"Ran into Stacey," Dean interjected with a smirk, George's eyes went a little wide in surprise. "She was helpful, pointed us in the direction of the diner. But-uh, she asked us to pass on a message." He took a sip of his coffee, shooting eyes at Sam.

A faint blush creeped onto her cheeks and she chuckled nervously, avoiding Sam's gaze, "Oh?"

Sam cleared his throat nervously, "Uh, yea, she just wanted us to tell you to, uh, lose her number?" He tried to seem nonchalant and uninterested. Dean was grinning from ear to ear, staring with open curiosity at her.

Her expression was a cross between indignation and guilt as she asked, "What?! Why? What did you say to her?"

Sam looked pointedly at Dean, who was now trying to look innocent and answered, "Nothing! We said we were trying to find a missing person whose boyfriend wa-"

"You told her I have a boyfriend?! Ugh, Dean!" George laughed and rolled her eyes. The three of them were looking at her expectantly, so she explained, "Without a student ID they weren't going to let me in, so… I had to find another way," She batted her eyelashes exaggeratedly at them.

"So, what, you blinked at her?" Dean chuckled at his own joke as she reached across the table to slap his arm.

"No, I used the only resources I had at my disposal," She clarified pointedly. When they still seemed confused, she sat up straight and pushed her chest out with a clearing of her throat.

"Oohhh, I see! Your resources. Got it," Dean gave her an exaggerated wink and took another drink of his coffee.

"Yea! And now you've told her I have a boyfriend and she thinks I'm an asshole!"

"I got the impression she just thought you were confused," Dean offered helpfully.

"Oh my god! Damn it, Dean!" George laughed in annoyance.

"Why does it matter?" He laughed indignantly right back. "Were you planning on pursuing that? I think I saw a payphone back in Reno if you'd like us to drop you off on our way to Jack."

George 'grr'ed at him and shook her head, "That's not the point! I am not confused about my sexuality and I don't cheat on my partners, which--thanks to you--is now what Stacey thinks! Not exactly the kind of thing I want becoming canon."

"Relax, flirting isn't cheating," Dean waved her off flippantly.

George's nostrils flared and she smiled condescendingly, "Well, thanks for warning me about your standards, but I'm not talking about the flirting." Sam snorted loudly and tried not to laugh, clearing his throat exaggeratedly when Dean gave him a dirty look. Having paused to hold back her own laughter, she explained, "I… sort of flashed her in order to get login credentials to use the computer."

Sam and Dean jumped in surprise as the waiter walked up at that moment, dropped their food, and refilled the coffee swiftly. George, sweet smile plastered on her face, buttered and syruped her waffle in silence. Castiel seemed to be calculating the ramifications of that statement, Sam was blushing, and Dean was stunned to silence. Cutting a piece, she nodded affirmatively and then took a bite, chewing with a big, closed mouthed grin as they all processed.

"Ohhhhh! You used your resources," Dean finally said slowly and with great emphasis. Then he nodded slowly in appreciation, "Not bad," he stamped his approval before shoveling a bacon into his mouth. George blushed a bit but smiled again with a small eye roll, before tipping an imaginary hat at him. She glanced at Sam briefly to gauge his reaction, before taking another bite. His expression was indiscernible, but he looked more curious than disgusted, so that was promising.

Castiel waited for them to eat a few bites in awkward, contemplative silence before asking curiously, "You 'flashed her' what? Do you have a fake badge of some kind?"

Sam choked on his omelet and Dean snorted into his coffee. Laughing nervously, George glanced between them, suddenly seeming slightly embarrassed about the situation for the first time. Having done it was one thing, having to describe it was another.

Looking back at Castiel she answered, "Flashing is uh,... it's when you… you just kind of, you just, you lift your shirt up for a minute. Or whatever."

Castiel didn't understand, "You lift your shirt 'up?' Up where? Why is that a form of currency suitable for trade?"

It had been her literal job for the past 10 years to educate and communicate on sex, but being questioned by an angel was like going to confession on steroids. Even though his tone was purely curious, she felt inexplicably judged. And she was agnostic!

She thought about it for a moment, noting the total lack of assist from the still recovering brothers across the table and finally just stated matter of factly, "Oh fuck it, I lifted my shirt over my chest and showed her what was underneath." When he still looked confused, she clarified further, "My breasts, Castiel. I showed her my breasts. That's what flashing is. And in exchange for letting her look at my breasts, she logged me into a computer. There."

Dean took another bite of bacon to stifle his laughter after asking, "Curious, if you wanted that 'becoming canon?'" George flipped him the bird before stealing one bacon as retribution.

Castiel seemed to understand the explanation but asked, "How did you know she was interested in seeing your breasts?"

George snorted, patting his arm patronizingly, and ever-so-humbly saying, "Uh, let's just say I had a hunch," then glanced again at the brothers who both shook their heads in amusement.

Sam cleared his throat and finally found his voice again, "I think what Cas means is, ho-how did you know she was… interested in-in your chest-" Sam stuttered, glancing at Dean who snickered, "Er, I mean, not like that! I meant-"

"You meant, how did I know she was gay?" George clarified kindly, to which Sam nodded in thanks. She shrugged, "Well, I didn't for sure, but queer people can usually sense our friends." She gave Dean a discreet smirk and once over before continuing, "Based on that, and some of her more apparent interests, I took a shot. Not the worst experience, all things considered; certainly lucked out that she was cute and friendly."

No one was quite sure how to respond until Dean commented with a mouth full of toast, "I guess she was cute, if you like girls with heavy theatre makeup."

George furrowed her brow, "What? She wasn't wearing that much makeup."

"I guess that's subjective; all that pink blush everywhere was too much for my taste," He shook his head with a shrug.

George and Sam shared an annoyed eye roll and he corrected quickly, "Dean, that wasn't makeup. She had vitiligo."

"Viti-what-o?"

George swatted at him again, "Vitiligo, loser! It's a condition where you lose skin color in patches because the pigmentation cells die."

"Oh," Dean said, intrigued. He thought about it for a minute and then said, "Then you're right, she was cute. Do you still have that number?"

"Oh wow," George blurted, rubbing a hand over her face and chuckling. "Sorry guy, she was definitely a lesbian."

"Anyway!" Sam interjected to save them all from his perverted brother.

Still chucking, George picked the conversation back up on his cue, "Anyway, after the flashing she logged me into a computer and I was able to find out all about my nonexistence," She made an exaggerated sneer, as though the idea offended her. "So, mom's parents: dead in a house fire supposedly due to faulty wiring. Over on my dad's side, I had to go all the way back three generations where I discovered that my great grandfather succumbed to illness on the battlefield during WWI before he'd had any children. Other than my Aunt Lorna, who by all accounts is alive somewhere, the entire family I grew up with doesn't exist." She paused and took a sip of her drink, trying to swallow down her emotions.

"I'm sorry, George," Sam reached over and placed his hand over hers consolingly, the other two giving her sympathetic looks. She smiled softly at the touch, turning her hand over in his and squeezing in gratitude. When she noticed the raised brow on Dean's face, she cleared her throat and pulled her hand away to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I was just kind of in shock when I found everything." She paused to take a thoughtful bite of her scrambled eggs before continuing, "Not shock actually… more like, happy surprise? I was kinda relieved, if I'm honest." Sam and she shared another knowing glance before she continued, "Like, I can focus on helping you guys now because I know nothing is holding me back. I have no family to worry about. I'm completely, totally… utterly, and… 100 percent alone here," As she said it the internal struggle between relief and spiraling panic boiled up again.

Sam frowned, but Castiel was the one who offered comfort, "You're not alone, George."

"Thanks, Castiel," She sighed in frustration and put her fork down, suddenly losing her appetite. "What I mean is, I just felt this strange sense of acceptance and…" she struggled to find the right words to describe an indescribable feeling. "Purpose? It was like 'OK, my family isn't here, I don't have anyone who might be worrying about me, so now I can focus on what I'm supposed to do'. I mean I've always felt different; I never fit in much. I was always the weird kid and didn't have many friends, and holy shit my family. Ya know, I love 'em but--and this sounds bad, so excuse the obvious lack of humility here--I just always felt like the sane patient in the asylum, ya know? It--Ya know what, not the time to get into it," She had sounded like she was headed off on a tangent but pulled herself back.

"When I found all this information last night, I--I…I don't really know how to explain it," She and Sam shared a quick knowing glance before she continued, "but while I should have felt devastated, I mostly felt relief. Like I finally could breathe in all the way because I'm where I'm supposed to be? It was also confirmation that the only people I knew in this universe were the people I was already with, and already helping! Bonus," She finished with a hesitant, confused chuckle. She knew how crazy she sounded. The look Dean was giving her seemed to indicate he felt the same. "Don't ask me to explain it because I have no idea," giving a defeated shrug, she continued, "anyway, I knew you guys were going to find me soon, so I printed the article and left--not before Stacey gave me her number--and headed over to Brown Cub for your food," Dean tipped his imaginary hat to her. "Then I got the room, stripped off those crusty ass clothes, and took the best shower of my life. Then you showed up."

"What do you mean you *knew* we'd find you soon?" Castiel questioned.

"What?" She'd stolen another piece of Dean's bacon and had to dodge his swatting. "What do you mean?"

"How did you know we would find you?"

"Oh, I didn't know-know, I just...figured? I mean, like Dean said, it's what you do--the Winchesters and Castiel, ya know? You've got a certain set of skills," She cracked, winking at Sam and then shrugged, "I knew it wouldn't be long before you'd be able to track me down."

Castiel pressed, "How could we track you down? We don't even know your last name and you don't have a cell phone. How did you know we were coming?" George gave Sam and Dean a raised eyebrow, not understanding why Cas was semi-interrogating her.

Dean felt his phone vibrating in his pocket and pulled it out to see Garth calling. He excused himself from the table to answer it.

"I...I mean, I didn't know you were coming. I just-"

"Tell me more about your instincts feeling heightened? And your sense of purpose? Do you know what this 'purpose' might be?" He questioned her.

Thinking he was just being a concerned friend, George shook her head helplessly, "No, not really. Honestly, I--"

He cut her off to ask matter-of-factly, "Do you have any Enochian protection symbols on your person?"

She was confused by the question, "What, like a tattoo? No, I told you I wasn't that big of a fan--"

"Could be a tattoo, could be something burned into your skeletal structure, maybe?"

"Not that I'm aware of?" George smirked in confusion, glancing at Sam for any explanation. His feeble shrug in response offered no clarity.

"Because, when I try to read you, you're fuzzy--"

"Sorry--I'm fuzzy when you try and read me?" George looked indignant.

"Hey, we got problems." Dean had returned from his phone call and seemed agitated. "That was Garth. He joined Carol and Suzie on the recon like we asked and they saw the demon pack grab a 12 year old boy for lunch. They stormed in and nearly got themselves killed saving him."

"Jesus," George commented with a frown.

"Are they--" Sam began with concern.

Anticipating his question, Dean cut him off, "They're safe for right now but they're hurt and pretty sure the pack tailed them. They need help. I tried mom and Bobby but they're tracking something near Fresno, closer to us than them and..." Dean paused heavily, giving George an indiscernible expression.

"And?!" Sam asked impatiently.

Dean sighed, "Carol thinks she saw Jack with the demons while they were trying to escape."

"What?!" George and Sam exclaimed simultaneously. George's was far more indignant than Sam's.

"Carol says that when they went in to rescue the boy, they passed other rooms. Most were empty but she swears she saw someone who looked an awful lot like Jack in one. By the time she saw him, they were running with the kid, so she can't be a hundred percent sure b--"

"Well, I'm a hundred percent sure Carol needs her eyes checked!" George blurted out, before retracting her neck and looking apologetic, "Sorry, that was unnecessary. Carol is lovely and I'm sure it was a terrifying situation." She paused and then looked at Dean with a pleading expression, "That being said: she's WRONG! I just finished spilling my guts out to you about an identity crisis over the fact that my entire family doesn't exist! And the one good thing that came out of it is that now I know I'm meant to be here! The only answer I'm missing is why I'm here and helping you both--finding jack--that's the only answer that makes any sense. It's why I feel so strongly about going to Oregon with you. Think about it, what other reason could there possibly be for this weird ass situation if not to help you locate Jack?" Sam gulped a bit, a few suggestions running through his mind quickly. Dean was contemplating her words, weighing his options carefully. George sighed and continued, "Listen, I don't know who Carol saw, but I. Promise. You. It wasn't Jack! We need to keep going; we are headed the right way, I know it! Jack--"

"Is in danger and if we don't find him soon he could die, George," Dean sounded stern. He was irritated, but trying not to raise his voice. "We can't risk it!"

George took his new, huffy tone as a personal challenge, matching it with some added neck twists for emphasis, "Which is exactly why we need to keep going toward Oregon, because that's where he is!"

"Both of you, to your corners!" Castiel scolded suddenly, both of them looking about ready to punch the other. "Our primary goal is to find Jack and get him home safe. We have two leads and enough people to follow both. I'll go back to the motel and see if I can find a car to borrow, and head to Butte. The three of you keep following George's lead."

"Cas--"

"No arguments. Enough time has been wasted and, you're right, Dean, he's in danger. That being said," Cas cut Dean off when he tried to interrupt, "George is right, too."

"I am?" George was surprised by the support.

"She is?!" Dean was suspect.

"Yes. It's clear she feels very strongly about Jack being in Oregon and I trust her."

"I do, too," Sam agreed.

George's eyes went wide at the both of them, "You do?" 'Surprised' didn't even begin to cover it.

"Yes, I do," Castiel answered definitively. "Now, you should settle the bill and get going. If you find Jack--"

"We'll call you right away," Sam finished understandingly as he stood up from the booth to handle the check. He stepped away, leaving George to sit in a state of semi-shock, silently mulling over the concept of trust.

Dean's brow was furrowed, staring at the table intently. After a minute he nodded, addressing Cas, "I'll walk you out."

The two men began to head for the exit, and George leapt up, "Wait!" She stepped in front of Cas and looked him over, "OK, um, OK, look, I-I'm nervous about you leaving but I get it, I guess," She shot Dean a dirty look over Cas' shoulder. "Just… please be careful. Don't do anything stupid, OK? If you think to yourself 'Dean would do that!' do the opposite, yes?"

As Dean rolled his eyes, Castiel smiled kindly in response to her concern. With a gentle nod he assured, "I'll be careful. I think it goes without saying that I want you all," he looked at Dean over his shoulder pointedly, "to do the same."

George nodded in agreement and hesitated before throwing her arms around him and hugging tightly. Cas stood in place, receiving her hug awkwardly. Not until George suggested he hug back did he carefully lift his arms and pat her on the back quickly. When she let go, she gave him a nervous grimace and the two men left.

[spideyxchelle]

So can you do headcanons for jealous Peter. Like MJ's had a crush on Peter forever, but they're just friends and she's accepted that. She isn't going to pine over Peter Parker. It's time to put this crush down and the new guy is ok and into her. So she should definitely just say yes the next time he asks her out. Peter is just mind blown when MJ can't hang out cuz she has a date. MJ doesn't date.

*hyperventilates* I am SO ready for jealous!Peter Parker. like, you have no idea. buckle in kids. this headcanon is happening RIGHT NOW. (ps. i might write a part 2 of this….i’m not sure…lemme know what you want, folks.) 

*update: [part 2]

its not that Peter doesn’t know that MJ is a girl

he does, but knowing and knowing are two different things. MJ is almost too MJ for Peter to notice that she’s a girl. 

like, she fills up such a huge part of his and Ned’s lives that her being a girl is like a foreign concept to him. abstract even. he supposes, if you asked him, he would say that MJ is a girl, sort of, but that’s not how he sees her. 

because MJ is way more than just a girl to him. she’s an invaluable part of his life and becomes even more of a permanent structure in his life after she finds out about Spider-man (see: Need Leeds has a big mouth) 

once she knows about the spandex, there are no more secrets between them and so Peter doesn’t have any issues with MJ inserting herself into his day-to-day life. she joins Sunday horror flick night at his house where he and Ned (and now MJ) watch old black and white horror films, and she sits with them at lunch and even participates in conversation sometimes, and she assists ned with man-in-the-chair duties (Ned even makes him and MJ matching Team Spider-man shirts), and when Peter comes back from patrol banged up one too many time she gets her first aid certification and becomes his patch-up guy after missions (which always feels weirdly intimate). 

and then Mark Allen transfers to midtown

which, is weird for Peter, because he’s Liz Toomes cousin and he’s still got a lot of guilt about Vulture and Oregon. so he makes an effort to be Mark’s friend. 

at first, its great. MARK is great. in the first four weeks of their newfound friendship, Mark and Peter and Ned marathon the original Star Wars trilogy three times. and Mark joins the decathlon team to help combat the tyranny of Flash. and he even gets along with MJ which is important to Peter and Ned. she’s team Spider-man (not that Mark knows about Spider-man) so if anyone is gonna be their new friend they have to get along with MJ. 

and then, its not so great. because Mark and MJ really get along. like, really really get along.

two months into school MJ offhandedly mentions at lunch that she’s going to a Black Lives Matter march that Saturday. it doesn’t sound like an invitation but the boys know her well enough to read between the lines. Peter says he can’t. he’s being dropped into a war zone that weekend in Bulgaria (which both Ned and MJ know) and Ned is being brought along to help. so, naturally, they both say they have family commitments. but Mark says he can go. 

and Peter isn’t bothered at all by the thought of Mark and MJ hanging out at some march. alone. nope. he’s not even a little bothered. he’s bothered. 

he’s so not bothered that he nearly gets shot five times on mission. after that, Tony benches him for the rest of the mission which, really, doesn’t do much for Peter’s mood. 

when they get back to school on Monday morning Mark and MJ are laughing together in homeroom. LAUGHING. MJ doesn’t laugh. or well, not with people she doesn’t know. 

Peter scowls. and Ned, cheery as ever, asks, “how was the march?”

and MJ and Mark launch into a lengthy story with lots of inside jokes about the protest. the most distressing detail for Peter is the comment about MJ sitting on Mark’s shoulders to take pictures of the march. 

he hates how irritated he feels, he hates how much he wants to web up Mark and maybe punch him in the gut for good measure because Peter LIKES Mark. they’re friends. 

but MJ was his friend first. whatever that means. 

Peter grumbles that putting MJ on his shoulders where police could see her above the whole crowd sounds reckless and dangerous. 

and Mark gives Peter a look he’s not used to, almost like he’s sizing him up…so Peter sits up a little taller. but he plays it cool and tells Peter “going outside is dangerous in this country if you’re black. being on my shoulders wouldn’t have made much a difference if police were gonna be hostile, Peter.” and that shuts Peter up. because he’s embarrassed. 

MJ rolls her eyes, telling the pair of them to calm down on the testosterone. and politely reminds them that she can take care of herself. 

things don’t calm down, tho. Peter and Mark doesn’t talk for the rest of the day. even Ned notices. but when he asks Peter, he shrugs him off. because its no big deal and he really does like Mark, okay?? he just doesn’t trust him with MJ alone. which is some patriarchal nonsense, he knows. 

at decathlon practice while MJ warms up the team, Mark breaks the icy silence. “so whats up with you and Emmy?”

Peter’s head snaps up. Emmy?? is that supposed to be some cute little nickname for MJ? does she let him call her Emmy? god, Mark is really getting on his nerves. oh man. 

he tightens his jaw, “what do you mean?”

“you just,” Mark shrugs, “god weird this morning about our date.”

Peter doesn’t hear the rest of what Mark says because he short circuits at the word date. that was a date? they went on a date?? suddenly, his head is flashing with images of mark and mj running from the police to her favorite diner and laughing and kissing. so much kissing. it makes Peter’s fists clench. 

“Peter?” Mark prods. “it was a date?” is all Peter can manage to say. and oh Peter. honey. no. 

Mark is cagey about his answer, “would it bother you if it was?”

AND WOULD IT?!? he’d never really thought about that before, you know? because he never really noticed that MJ was a girl before. except that wasn’t strictly true. he had. he knew he had. he had for months now. she’d crept up on him. one day she was just MJ and then when he wasn’t looking she was MJ. his MJ. 

“yea,” peter says honestly, “it would.”

Mark nods like he’s considering Peter and then, “since we’re being honest, i’m gonna ask her out.”

and that hurts. that hurts so much worse than when Thanos broke his hand or when Vulture dropped the building on Peter or when Tony took away his suit. it hurt in a way that stung his chest, like a stroke of lightening to his heart. 

“i don’t know what you want me to say, man,” peter grits out. 

“i don’t want things to be weird, Peter,” Mark tries, “we’re friends.”

“MJ doesn’t date.” is the only lame excuse Peter can think of. but Mark has an answer for that, too, “well, i’m still gonna ask.”

and peter doesn’t say another word for all of practice. when Michelle walks over to him after, to see why he was so quiet he growls out some excuse and sulks away. he doesn’t see the flash of hurt across her face.

Ned comes over later to poke and prod about Peter’s attitude. he hangs upside down on his ceiling when Ned bursts in, “dude what the hell?”

Peter sighs and drops to the ground, “Mark’s a jerk.” “what?! no he’s not. he’s awesome.” “no, he’s a jerk. he’s gonna ask MJ out. like..what is that about, you know?”

and Ned sits on Peter’s bed and levels him with a look. “you don’t get to act like that, man.” Peter joins Ned on the bed and listens as Ned patiently explains that MJ had a crush on Peter (she told Ned during their long hours of patrol duty together) but he was never interested. and he tells Peter bluntly that he doesn’t get to decide now that he wants her after she’s starting to move on.

but peter can’t help but be hung up on the MJ had a crush on him thing….because WHAT?! for how long?? why did no one tell him?!

and then Ned’s words hit and Peter admits slowly, like he’s been keeping this secret for so long (even from himself) that he’s afraid to say it out loud, “I like MJ. I’ve liked MJ…for a while. a long while.”

Ned’s face falls. “duuude.” “i know.” “why didn’t you tell me?” “i didn’t want to say it out loud. it made it real.” “dude.” “i know.” “but DUDE” “i know.”

the next day at school he asks MJ to hang out upstate for Avengers stuff on Saturday and she breezily tells him she can’t. because. she has a date.

and before he can even say a word, Mark sits next to MJ on the bleachers and knocks into her shoulder playfully. she smiles at him and peter has to leave. he’s not gonna stand by and see this shit. no sir. 

that day at lunch he sits with Gwen Stacey, his lab partner, and she’s nice and funny and pretty but he can’t help but think that she’s not MJ…

he takes up bigger and harder missions from Mr. Stark after MJ and Mark start seeing each other more regularly. in fact, he’s upstate more than he’s home now-a-days. he holds that press conference all suited up so his identity remains a secret and joins the Avengers officially. he wants MJ to be happy, really he does, but he doesn’t want to sit around and watch her with somebody else. 

after his conference he checks his phone and MJ sends a selfie of her and Ned smiling and pointing to the television where they were obviously watching his press conference. he saves the picture as his background. 

and eventually it gets easier, MJ and Mark’s relationship. it’s not like the hurt goes away but he becomes so used to it, it turns into a dull ache instead of a gashing wound. 

until senior prom when Mark asks MJ and she calls him a loser but still says yes. 

and GOD its like there goes that pain all over again…..fuck. 

he starts taking even more missions. and Peter is more of a ghost than a high school student these days. 

and, he guesses, MJ gets sick of it. because she shows up upstate. and they get in a fight in the middle of the front hall. 

he’s on his way to training when he bumps into her and he doesn’t get a word in edgewise before she’s off to the races tearing him a new one. 

“what do you think you’re doing?? hiding away upstate. did you forget you have friends, Parker? you’re such a flaky, terrible little shit.”

and it’s on. and they’re both saying horrible, mean things to each other. because peter isn’t sure why she cares since she’s replaced him with MARK. and she thinks that’s RICH coming from him because he’s never really around so how would he know what she’s up to anyway?? and peter is like sorry i’m not your precious boyfriend. and she’s like don’t act like a jealous ass.

and that’s the word. jealous. that word shuts him the hell up.

and he SEES the moment that MJ gets it. the moment that it all clicks for her. she whispers, “oh my god. you’re jealous.” “MJ-” he tries. “don’t,” she puts her hands up to stop him, “just stop. you don’t get to do this now. not as soon as I-” “as soon as you what?” 

“it doesn’t matter.”

but it DOES matter, it really does matter. 

and that’s all he can think as MJ walks right out of the front doors of the compound. 

not that he stops her. no, he lets her go. 

and that’s the part he regrets the most. 

[nessaiscute]

Angst Caleo incorrect quote

Leo and Jason are sitting in a space car

Leo: Why did we let Drew go? She deserved to be punishsed

Jason: I'm getting a little worried bout you Leo. You were very hard on Drew

Leo: You don't think she deserved it?

Jason: I'm just saying its not like you

Leo: *pauses and looks out the window*

Leo: What do you want from me Sparks? What would you do if someone killed Piper?

Jason: I don't know.... but i woulden't let it change me

Leo: I would of said the same before it happened to me

Jason: Its not too late, you don't have to go though with this

Leo: Who's going to bring Reyna to Justice if i don't. No one else knows what she's done, no one else cares. I don't see any other option

Jason: Just let me talk to her

Leo: Talk all you want it won't change my mind. I don't care what her reasons are. she screwed with us she deserves to die

Jason: Do you really want to kill her?

Leo: Im gratefully for our friendship sparks but I'm not like you

Jason: This isn't you either.

Leo: Really? always hated the thought of injustice. The thought that Reyna could get away with this? Why does she get to walk awhile while sunshine is lying in an unmarked grave!

Leo: I need to set up

Jason: What do you want me to do

Leo: Draw her out, get out of the way and i'll take the shot

Jason: Got it

Leo: *gets in position pulls out his sniper*

Reyna: *is waiting*

Jason: *calls Reyna over*

Reyna: J-Jason? what is this bout?

Jason: Reyna, I'm here to help you.

Reyna: Don't ever say that name aloud!

Jason: Leo sent me, he wants you dead but im hoping thats not necessary

Reyna: L-Leo? is this some kind of joke?

Leo: *though the mic* Damn it Jason! if she moves I'm taking the shot!

Reyna: You're not kidding are you? Screw this, tell Leo I have my own-

Jason: *grabs Reyna's arm* stop!

Reyna: *Yanks Jason off* Get off me!

Jason: I'm the only thing standing between you and a hole in the head

Reyna: Fuck!

Reyna: Look, I didn't want do do it! I didn't have a choice

Leo: Everyone has a choice

Reyna: the hunters got to me, said i would be next!

Leo: Let me take the shot Jason, she's a damn coward!

Jason and Reyna move to the side

Jason: Thats it? You did it to save yourself

Reyna: I know what I did.... I have to live with it. Every night i see her, staring at me accusing me. Telling me of the life she wanted with Leo.

Reyna: I'm a dead woman, I wake up at night sweating. Food has no taste. I just.... want it to be over

Leo: Give me the chance

Jason: Leo, you got to let this go. She's already paying enough for her crime

Leo: She hasn't payed enough. she still has her life

Jason: Look at her Leo! She's not alive, not really. there isn't anything for you to kill

Leo: Sunshine....she deserved better

Reyna: Tell Leo..... i guess there isn't anything i can say to make it right

Leo: !!!

Leo: G-Go. Tell her to....go

Jason: he's giving you a second chance Reyna, don't waste it.

Reyna: I'll make it up to you some day Leo, I swear.

Reyna: Thank you for talking to him

Leo and Jason met up at the port

Leo: I know you want to talk bout this but i don't

Jason: I know it didn't go the way you planned but i think its for the best

Leo: Im not so sure

Jason: give it time

Leo: Maybe that'll be enough

Leo: I wanted to do the right thing, not for me. But for Calypso... She deserved to be avenged but...when she was in my slight i just coulden't do it

Jason: The lines between friend and foe get blurry when itc comes to people we know

Leo: Yea, the world is so much easeir to see in black and white... grey, i don't know what to do with grey

Jason: You gotta go with your instincts

Leo: My instincts are what got me in this mess

Jason: *Pats Leo's shoulder* don't be so hard on yourself

Leo: Jason? Thanks.