My Brothers, Corrupted
Chapter Three : Section Two : Lost
Chapter One l Chapter Two l Chapter Three
While Red and Dapper search for safety, Blue wakes up, Dok needs help, and Anti channels his many unresolved issues into violence.
Trigger warnings for hospitalization, emotional abuse, blood, murder, and psychosis including catatonia.
Section Two of Chapter Three: Lost
cest-mellow asked: does anyone else have a camera working besides red and dap?
You hear a yelp as the message finally sends, and Red’s face flashes back onto your screen, startled.
“Hey!” he cries. “You scared the hell out of me! Damn camera chooses now to turn on? Apparently even we don’t even have a camera working half the time.”
He is, as you summarize in about two seconds, in the middle of unlocking a big, fancy door to a house. Dapper is leaning on his shoulders, holding the camera Red gave him to distract him, his eyes unfocused and his mouth fixed in a strange, small smile.
nikkilbook asked: Hi Red. Missed you. Sorry I upset you last time we talked.
“Oh. Hi,” says Red. “Um, I’m sorry, I can’t even remember what when down. Don’t worry about it, I was upset already. Just don’t go saying anything that’ll confuse - that’ll confuse Dap, I mean. We’re good, my dude. Ow, Dap, your elbows are right on my spine, little man!”
Dapper smiles foggily and readjusts. He is slack and tired. Red has put his own hoodie on him to make sure his face stays hidden. The lock beneath Red’s hands clicks open and he lets out a small hiss of relief, getting to his feet.
“Where are we breaking into, Anti?” asks Dapper. “I thought you said we wouldn’t be mean to nice people anymore.”
“It’s Red, buddy. Come on, we just need to get some cash. Eat the rich and all that. I gotta be able to feed you.”
Anonymous asked: Red, you’re probably going to need to change your appearance soon. If people are looking, you’ll need to throw them off your trail.
“Oh, I know, I know,” groans Red, tugging Dapper inside the house. His little brother lets out a low whistle, admiring the shiny, pretty, enormous house around them.
“It’s just that I don’t think I’m allowed to change Dapper’s appearance. I’m not even sure I’m allowed to change my own, but Dapper? That’s Anti’s doll, he’s really really picky about how he looks! He picks out his outfit most every morning and brushes and cuts his hair and stuff. Even tells him when to clip his nails. I just need to keep him really hidden. But maybe I can buy us new clothes soon? Or do something about my… hair. I don’t think Anti would like it, but you might be right, it might be necessary. Ah, shit, why isn’t there any cash lying around here!”
Dap holds you as Red races around the house, tearing open drawers and bedroom doors. There’s plenty of jewelry and expensive clothes and shit, but he doesn’t need jewelry, he needs pesos.
“Aha!” you hear him shout from down the hall, and then, a moment later, a door opens on the other side of the house. Dapper gasps and stiffens, the camera shaky in his hands, but he doesn’t move.
cest-mellow asked: is someone else in the house?
Dapper shivers and clutches you to his chest. He doesn’t even know where he is. There are footsteps coming towards him. He hears Red go silent in the room down the hall.
spicydanhowell asked: red, go now, it's not worth it
Red peers out of the room and sees Dapper frozen in the middle of the living room. He tries to catch his attention, but Dapper looks suddenly very small and genuinely afraid, his hands asking softly for “Anti? Anti? Anti, where are you?”
“There wasn’t supposed to be anyone in the house,” mumbles Red, pupils tiny in their irises. “They all went out… they all went out. I checked the whole family. I’m… not bad at breaking in to places, Dapper was just kidding. I’ve broken in to places before. It’s just cash. I just need to get some cash. For clothes and medicine and food and a place to sleep, a place to sleep. He has to have a place to sleep.”
He babbles in his uncertainty, his eyes flickering between Dapper in the living room and the window in the bedroom he’s just broken into. He has a couple hundred dollars worth of cash. Enough for maybe one night in a hotel and some food. He can’t keep getting the cops called on him. They’re just closing in and closing in. He can’t do this. He can’t do this.
pixie-in-trebleland asked: Dap, you gotta get out of there, or hide, or something! At least until your big brother gets to you!
Dap blinks, reads, registers.
Suddenly he is scrambling to hide, darting behind a kitchen island and hunkering down, his hands desperate to get his knife out of Red’s hoodie, clutching it to his chest. His eyes flash, different emotions dart across his face; you do not know if he will be scared or aggressive if someone catches him here, but he does seem to be listening to you.
cest-mellow asked: red, do you see anyone there?
Red licks his lips and slides down the hall, peering out of the end of it.
There’s an old woman in a house-keeping uniform setting her stuff down by the door. He sees Dapper hiding his face in his hands in the kitchen. Anti’s useless little baby.
“Dap,” he whispers. “Dap.”
But Dapper doesn’t move.
In fact, Dapper isn’t moving at all.
You can barely see him breathing.
“No, no, no,” hisses Red, staring at the house-keeper coming closer. “Not now, Monochroma, not now.”
He pauses, chewing on his thumb.
“Okay, you know what? She’s old as fuck, I’m just going to grab him and run. Ready?”
immabethehero asked: Don't hurt anyone!!!
“I’ve killed a lot of people but never fucked up an old lady,” Red considers. “That would be bad. Even by Anti’s standards. Okay, maybe not, but even by my standards.”
Anonymous asked: Dap, Reds trying to signal you. Both of you, just stay hidden until you can get out of there--the place doesn't have anything you need anyway
Dapper doesn’t move. Dapper doesn’t look at you. You are sliding out of his hands. The emotion has slid off his face and he stares.
pixie-in-trebleland asked: Red, move fast and grab him! Dap needs you.
“Yeah, fuck this, I’m so stupid, okay, fuck.”
He darts forward, low to the ground, but he still hears a shrill scream as the old woman turns around. Red just starts laughing. He can’t do fucking anything right. He can’t take care of Dapper. They’re going to get arrested and he’s going to freak the hell out and Dapper’s going to get shanked because he’s an aggressive, twitchy, confused little gringo with a psychotic disorder and no voice. Fuck, he needs help, he needs Anti, please, please, he wants to wake up from this nightmare.
Red scoops Dapper’s stiff, thin, abused little body into his arms and shoves back out the door, ignoring the frantic hollering of the woman behind him.
“Shit, Dap, you could grab onto me or something,” he groans, trying to readjust him. “You get that we need to fucking run, right? I wish Anti was here, I wish Anti would tell me what to do.”
He’s out on a busy street in broad daylight. He hopes she doesn’t run after him. He pulls the hood lower down over Dapper’s unmoving eyes, shielding him from the sun, and ducks down the street as fast as he can go with a little brother in the middle of an episode in his arms.
Anonymous asked: Keep running Red! Duck into any alleys if you can, and keep moving. Stay away from the public.
Spurred on, Red runs.
You are shoved in the side-pocket of his backpack and all you can do is sway back and forth, staring up at the sky, as he keeps on, panting and pounding his feet against the pavement and then, against the sand and the dirt of the outer city. The sky is darkening and soon it will rain. The memory of water pounding in against him, of fire roaring on the shores all around him, of Dapper’s body pressed to his own, numbly letting his little brother lead him through the Amazon, makes him shiver so hard his camera shakes.
He slows and slows as hours pass. Dapper weighs almost as much as he does and all his little brother can do is curl into his arms. You have yet to see him move at all. Occasionally, you hear Red whisper to him, but it is so soft you think perhaps he doesn’t mean for you to hear:
“I’ve got you, I’ve got you. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
He comes to a staggering trudge and finally stills and sits down beside the filthiest canal you’ve ever seen. He sinks down, exhausted, onto the soggy earth, and takes his sweatshirt off of Dapper’s shoulders, to make a blanket for his little brother to lie down on. Trash squishes beneath his feet and a mouse pitters away from him, indignant at the intrusion.
“Sorry, little buddy,” Red mumbles, sitting Dapper down on the sweatshirt and holding him by the neck.
“Dapper, can you hear me at all?”
There is no answer.
Dapper’s position has not changed from the curled-up ball it was hours ago on the floor of the rich man’s house. Red’s stomach drops.
“Dapper… Carver, Chroma. It’s big brother. Can you move at all? Can you hear me?”
He pulls Dapper’s hands away from his face. His eyes are open, staring at nothing. Red lets go of his hands and they stay stretched out towards the sky, but Dapper does not move, fixed like a mannequin in that position.
Chilled, Red grabs you to his chest and stares at his little brother, frozen stiff. You can feel his chest shaking.
“Needs his medicine,” whispers Red. “Needs his… but I still can’t… I can’t…”
Dapper is a clay statue, pliant and moldable, unmoving.
Eventually, Red just sits down beside him and wraps a careful arm around his shoulders.
“Will this pass?” he asks you in a low whimper. “What should I do? Is Anti coming to get us?”
Anonymous asked: Jameson Jackson! Your big brother needs you to move!
Red grimaces, closing his eyes. “Why don’t you just tell him to talk while you’re at it?”
Anonymous asked: Is there a way maybe we can get through to Anti, Blue, and Trick? I’m sure Anti is searching for the two of you.
“If you can,” whispers Red. “Please tell Anti I need him. But don’t… don’t bother Blue.”
Anonymous asked: Red we haven't tried contacting the others yet. Do you think it would be safer for them to come to you, or for you go to them? We'll help you as best we can, okay?
“I need him to come to me, please. I mean I - I could try to go somewhere, but I can’t get any money, and I can’t falsify records in the blink of an eye like he can. What I wouldn’t give for a working credit card or an airplane ticket coming out of the machine with my alias on it. Or a filled prescription, fuck, fuck!”
He grips at his hair, curling in on Dapper’s body a little. From here, with him so still and quiet, lying beside him, it’s easy to imagine it’s Blue beside him again, Blue’s hand in his own.
And then he remembers the look on his face as he left him with Anti.
“Red - Jackie - I’m afraid, please - ”
“Be good, Blue. I’ll see you again soon.”
Red grits his eyes and his teeth and heaves out a gasp of air. His free hand clutches the dog tags around his throat tight.
Anonymous asked: It’ll pass. Maybe try to act like Anti if he gets distressed...? But for now, make sure you’re safe and that theres no one around.
“It’ll pass, it’ll pass,” whispers Red, holding Dapper to his chest. By now, hot wet tears are filling up the lines of Red’s face, and you know his embarrassment by the way he raises and drops you, raises and drops you, like he cannot let you see. “It’ll pass. There’s no one around. There’s no one - ”
He grips tight, tight, at his hair, yanking for the comfort, hissing out breaths through his teeth.
Anonymous asked: Anti's looking, Red. But regardless of him, yes, this will pass. I know it's been really, really hard, and it feels like it's too much on your shoulders. Things have been really difficult lately. But you've been doing your best. I appreciate how hard you've been working. Until you can get some help, all you can do is take everything one step at a time. Okay? And you'll get there in time. So take a deep breath, center yourself. Just right now, what's priority number 1?
“Okay, okay, okay,” says Red. He raises and drops you, raises and drops you, faster and faster, pulling his hair. “Okay, okay. I’m doing my - I am, I - or now I am, if I wasn’t, I - I - one step, one step, one step, one step, one step. Okay. Now’s not the time for a breakdown, Roser, not now, not now!”
He strikes his chest once and blows air in and out of his mouth. “Okay, yeah! Priority number one, that… what should… I, um…”
pixie-in-trebleland asked: Right now, Red, you should focus on getting you and Dap to safety. Find somewhere that your little bro might find comforting?
“Right, right, okay, safety. Safety, yeah, he needs somewhere to rest while he’s like this.” Red’s eyes flicker along the filthy canal. “Somewhere he feels safe… controlled environment… low expressed emotion… routine and a feeling of security… maybe I can get a real motel room for the night. With a real bed for him. And a shower and water. I’ll have to get more money if I do, but…”
He pulls the stolen cash out of his pocket and begins rifling through it. You see the shine of stolen jewelry too, though he can’t risk pawning it. He kind of just… grabbed it. He shoves it back into his pocket quickly and busies himself with the cash, flushed.
“Okay. Okay. Isn’t as much as I hoped for - this country just needs to lop off all these extra zeros - but there’s about… sols to pounds, sols to pesos, pesos to pounds - about 300 pound. Around here, that can get us a place to sleep, right? If I can just find us a hotel?”
He turns his attention back to Dapper, hopeful. “Would that be good, Dapper?”
No answer. Okay, okay. Red straightens up and you see him try to soften, putting his hand on Dapper’s shoulder, and then, even steeling himself to touch his face with his bare hands, flesh-on-flesh. That’s what Anti would do, right? Or Blue? Touch him, reassure him, make him feel small and safe?
“Do you want to go get a motel room, sweetheart?” asks Red, trying to make his voice drip with the sugar of it, though it comes out stilted and a little uncomfortable.
Dapper doesn’t move anyway.
Red bites on his lip.
spicydanhowell asked: red? medications are the only thing that can help him right now from what i understand. he would need benzos, like klonopin or valium or something, or a muscle relaxant. if this goes on for too long, he will need urgent medical attention because he won't be able to drink water. close his eyes so they don't get dry, and make sure his neck is comfortable. that can hurt a lot during catatonic episodes :( ((i do think it'll help if you keep moving his joints though))
“Catatonic,” chokes Red. “That’s the word, that’s the word.”
He bites down hard on the bend of his thumb. He wants to rock - he needs to rock - but it’s so fucking filthy here. Already his pants are damp and muddy. He hates that. He hates being so filthy. All the time. All week. Next to no possessions and one brother to look after and he can’t take care of a single one of them. He strokes his silver dog tags.
“Fuck, fuck,” he whispers. “If he doesn’t come out of it, what will I do? I can’t take him to the hospital. I don’t think I can break in to a hospital either, not without Anti. I don’t have anything for him. I don’t have anything for him.”
You see him crumple back towards despair, but he shakes his head out again, shakes his head and brushes down his hair and slaps his chest and straightens up again.
“Goddamn! I’m tired. Not now, Rojo, not now. It’s okay, Carver, it’s going to be okay, I’ll get you back to Anti soon. I hope. Cause I really, really need someone to help us.”
He gets up on his knees and closes Dapper’s eyes carefully, rubbing his aching neck. Then he positions himself in front of him and begins moving him gently into place so he can sit on his shoulders. Red’s muscles are sore and straining, but he’ll carry him a little while longer. He’ll carry him forever if he has to.
“Let’s go get you somewhere to lie down,” he whispers. “Come on, little man. I got you.”
Anonymous asked: It will pass, Red, but it might take an hour or more. I think he's having a catatonic episode because of how terrified he got. Just keep both of you safe, sit close by him, and keep up hope. I'm sure Anti will find you soon, though he is having slight... magic issues at the moment. But don't be afraid. You're doing such a good job, you're being the best big brother you can be right now. Just keep cool and calm, wait it out.
“I hope it is just an hour or more,” he murmurs, trying to stick to the quiet parts of the city, the dangerous parts of the city, ignoring the strange looks people give him for having another adult hooked over his shoulders.
“What’s this about Anti having magic issues? Is he going to be okay?”
He carries you and Dapper for blocks and blocks, beginning to despair of ever finding a hotel. It’s not a big city. Maybe it was once, but now it’s just dirty, and dying, and exhausted, and spiteful about all of it to top everything out. People glare at him. He speaks little Spanish. He misses his warm poor mountain. He hopes the people there are gladdened by Blue’s flowers. But then he remembers the cactus tearing at his stomach and the fire going down the mountainside, and Anti wearing Blue’s burned body, and Dapper crashing to the ground with the bruise on his face, and the flight, and the fight the next day, and - and -
Red must stop to close his eyes and grit his teeth, steadying himself by his own harsh breathing and the weight of Dapper’s warm body on his aching shoulders.
“Keep going, Red, keep going,” he mumbles. “My strong right hand, my good fighting dog…”
And at last he finds a tired old motel.
The relief radiates off of him. He prays he didn’t count his cash wrong.
But fuck, he can’t go to check out a room with his little brother on his shoulders.
He sets Dapper down in the shadows of the garbage container by the back of the motel rooms - the urge to put him safely inside is tempting, but ultimately too much for him to subject his already-suffering little brother to - and he puts the camera gently on Dapper’s up-raised knees.
“Will you… will you watch him, for just one second?”
He knows it’s stupid. But he doesn’t know what else to do. Just keep cool and calm and wait it out. Prioritize. Find him somewhere he feels safe. Be the best big brother you can be.
You’re a shit big brother, some part of his head tells him. And a worse twin.
What else is new? replies another. Tell me something I don’t know.
-------------------
bupine asked: trick? blue? can you guys hear us?
There is a flicker in a heart monitor.
An increase. A fading, again. A quietness.
There is a small boy sitting on the floor of a hospital room, hiding from the nurses, holding a camera in his hands, searching, searching, searching.
Not understanding.
The heart monitor flickers. The oxygen is inhaled more clearly. Slows again. Fades again.
Magic is just… power, right?
This should be like new batteries in a camera. This should be like a charger in a computer. This should be like revving a generator and watching it roar to life more powerful than ever before, cackling with electricity, omnipresent, omniscient, immortal!
Why does it burn so badly?
Anti’s little chest coughs. Copper pools up in his mouth. Mostly-simulated. Partly real. More real than it’s ever been before.
He can’t seem to make it dissipate again. There are crocuses beneath his fingers. There are crocuses trying to come up through the floorboards.
The heart monitor picks up again. This time it does not fade. A clear breath, and then a clearer one. Anti looks up. His eyes widen, and then he gets up from the floor, and changes his disguise.
Blue’s eyes flicker open.
He stares dully up at the white ceiling, his air puffing softly against the oxygen mask.
“Hey,” Red’s voice whispers. Soft fingers touch the plastic hospital bracelet on his wrist. “Sh, sh. It’s okay. I’m right here. Blue, Blue… you scared me…”
Blue turns his eyes to him slowly. A steady, clean, strong form sitting close to his body. Deep blue eyes and a down of brown hair, dyed red on the top.
“Roser?” he croaks. “Where… am I?”
Anonymous asked: Wow, pretending to be Red when Blue is injured? Thats a new low, even for you.
Anti’s eyes flash and he leans slightly in towards you, letting Blue drift a little again, whimpering slightly as he takes in his situation through a bleary, exhausted brain.
“I am trying to give him what he needs. He’s upset. This is an act of mercy.”
Anonymous asked: Fuck off with all the lying Anti! Don’t do this to him.
“You’d rather he wake up beside the person who did this to him?”
pixie-in-trebleland asked: Anti, don't take advantage of this situation!
“Whatever, whatever. I don’t care. I’ll have to fix this whole mess up later. Right now he’s upset.”
Blue hiccups painfully and reaches out to try and find the sleeve of Red’s hoodie.
“Ro, I don’t feel - I don’t feel good, Red, Rojo.”
Anti licks at his lip. If you didn’t know better, you’d say it looked like a nervous tic.
“Blue, just be calm. Just be calm.”
“No, no, no, what’s happened to me? What’s happened to me? Ro? Ro?”
bupine asked: blue, i'm afraid that's not red. red's ok, but he's not here. that's just anti that's there. i'm sorry about your twin.
Blue is trying to push himself up to sitting. Anti gets to his feet and leans over him, pushing him back down, making him cry out as his bandaged chest burns beneath his fingers. His heart monitor whines faster and faster.
“What are they saying?” chokes Blue. “I can’t - I can’t see, I can’t see it!”
Anti takes his chin in his hands, ignoring his crying, and tilts him from side-to-side, staring into eyes gone cloudy and faraway, the pupils unfocused.
“Can you see at all?” he asks.
“Where am I, what’s happening? Everything is blurry, I can’t see! Red, why won’t you tell me what’s going on? Where are my little brothers, are they safe, where is Anti? Is he going to hurt me again?”
“Quiet,” mumbles Anti, steadying him by putting a hand on his throat. “Quiet.”
pixie-in-trebleland asked: Blue, things are going to be okay. Try and breathe, okay?
“I can’t see them, I can’t see what they’re - what they’re saying - ”
“Blue, just stop freaking out! Here, here.” Anti picks up the camera and hands it to him. Moaning, Blue pulls you close to his face, his fogged eyes trying to fix on your little white words. Breathe, breathe! Red won’t stop examining him like a cut of steak at the grocery store and he wants to see the others. He needs to know that everyone is safe. Where’s Dapper, Dapper who was dragging against handcuffs on his wrist, Dapper in the middle of an episode?
“I don’t want Anti to have him anymore,” sobs Blue. “Where are my little brothers? Red, did you protect them from him?”
Anonymous asked: Anti, if you want to keep Blue calm, make like Red and reassure him! Tell him everyone's safe and warm and eating good food together, tell him he got injured, heck, tell him Anti took a vacation and he doesn't have to worry about being hurt for a while! Otherwise you're just gonna make him unable to trust Red OR you.
Anti bites down hard on his lip, his eyes flickering between Blue and the camera and the racing vitals readings. He doesn’t know how long he has before a nurse comes to check on him. Okay, okay. He’s got this. He’s almost as good an actor as his two youngest.
“Blue, sh, sh. It’s big brother, right?”
He strokes a hand roughly through Blue’s hair. Blue sniffles and grabs at his sleeves, keeping Red’s hands close to him.
“We’re in the hospital. You’ve been really sick, man. The doctors think you had a stroke or something.”
“No, no,” whispers Blue. “Red, listen - ”
“Don’t think about it right now,” says Anti quickly, rubbing gently at his throat. Blue softens a little beneath his hands, trembling back down onto his pillows. “It must have been scary. But I’m going to make it right. I always do. You are safe.”
Blue kneads at his sleeves, trying to stare up at him, trying to find the freckles on his face, but Red is a blur of color and a soft voice speaking to him.
And… a burn on his palms that feels almost familiar.
Something nasty curls in Blue’s stomach.
“Red?” he asks.
“Yes,” says the person standing over him. “Yes.”
Blue chills and draws slightly away. He’s going to be sick. His body shudders once and Anti grabs him and helps pull him up to puke into the trash can beside his bed, tears beginning to run again, feeling weak and helpless and scared and sick.
“Please get someone for me,” he gags, clutching at his stomach. “I want to see one of the others.”
“No one else is here yet. Here, I’ll call for a doctor. But you can’t say anything about Anti or what happened, do you understand?”
The hand on his back is suddenly a little too firm.
“We’re in hiding and you can’t give us away, or Anti could find us.”
scunneredzombie asked: I'm sorry people freaked out at you Anti. You're right, being Red right now is a good act, thank you for being merciful to him while he's hurting. Hopefully this helps him feel calmer... Try not to let it slip that it's you, control the temper and act like Red. It's... an unfortunate lie, but it's what's best right now.
“Right, right,” mumbles Anti, nodding firmly, curving his fingers around the camera in Blue’s hands. “See, it’s for the best. Blue, I’ll explain everything soon. For now, just calm down.”
“Dapper? Dapper? Doktor, Trick?”
Anti feels the antlers poking at the back of his skull again. His head aches.
“I… I lost them,” he says.
And despite the bad news, Blue finds himself reassured by the way he says it. He calms again, rubbing at his mouth.
“Lost them?”
“Trick will be here soon, but I… I couldn’t… I’m trying, alright, I…”
Blue’s hand wraps around Anti’s sleeves again. “Okay. Okay. I know you must be trying your best. I’ll help you get them back.”
Anti softens and wraps himself gently around him, rubbing his shoulders.
“I would… like that.”
A beat.
“I’m glad you’re awake.”
cest-mellow asked: blue, just take a deep breath everything is gonna be okay. you’re in a hospital. “red” tell him a poem or something? help him calm down?
Anti rubs the heel of his palm across Blue’s back, massaging at the sore muscles, feeling Blue tremble beneath him.
“Poetry,” he mumbles, his mouth curling up a little. “I don’t know anything about - ”
“Are we still in Peru?” mumbles Blue, beginning to sway against him a little.
“No, I took you somewhere safe.”
“Oh. And Trick will be here soon?”
“Just a few minutes now, less he’s late.”
“He’s okay?”
“He’s fine, yeah.”
“He doesn’t have Dok… I need to make sure he’s not sad…”
“Yeah. Yeah. You’ll look after everybody again soon, just like you’re supposed to.”
“Why can’t I see?” whispers Blue. “What did he do to my eyes?”
Anti licks at his lips, stroking Blue’s back.
“Don’t think about it right now. I’ll have the doctors come take a look.”
Blue sits despairing against his chest in the silence, staring at the glow of the blinding light from the window.
Anti licks his lips.
“What are the roots that clutch?” he whispers, their heads pressed close together. Blue lies against his body. Trusting his brother. “What branches grow out of this stony rubbish?”
“Oh,” whispers Blue. “I love Eliot.”
“Son of man, you cannot say, or guess, for you know only a heap of broken images, where the sun beats, and the dead tree gives no shelter, the cricket no relief, and the dry stone no sound of water.” His consciousness is halfway with Blue and halfway in a cloud far above him, viewing poetry through wifi signals, to recite it in his lilting accent. Maybe that is why he does not notice when seeds open between his palms and the stems of flowers fill up his long white fingers. “Only there is shadow under this red rock. Come in under the shadow of this red rock.”
Blue’s voice joins his softly, his eyes closed like those of a sun-bathing cat. “And I will show you something different from either your shadow at morning striding behind you…”
“Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you,” whispers Anti.
And then he sees the flowers on the backs of his hands, holding Blue’s shoulders.
Blue feels the brush of the leaves and opens his eyes.
Anti goes silent.
Blue’s voice shakes.
Angry.
He finishes the poem.
“I will show you fear in a handful of dust.”
The heart monitor shakes through the silence between them.
“I will kill you,” whispers Blue. “For what you have done to me and my family. Just like I promised. I will kill you.”
A hand wraps around his throat. The flowers are roses and they pierce at his skin.
“Oh, little magician,” sighs Anti, a giggle echoing through the room around him. “It’s far too late for such things now, empty little vessel that you are.”
spicydanhowell asked: blue, red is a long way away right now. that's anti with you. red is with dapper. anti and trick are with you. i'm so sorry. you had a stroke
Blue nods slowly, feeling Anti’s breath pant against his cheek. His muddied eyes are fixed straight forward. His voice, when he speaks, is raw and shaking.
“Is that true? The theft caused a stroke?”
“Mmmh.” Anti strokes his hands through his hair, massaging at his scalp. “It’s what I told Trickshot. Wait til little brother gets here to see you. You’ve never seen him so small and devoted. ‘I love you, Blue, I love you, I’ll be back tomorrow, please get better!’”
“Is he hurt?” chokes Blue. “Are you hurting him?”
“No. He’s fine. I haven’t let him do anything stupid.”
scunneredzombie asked: Anti, genuine question, no mocking intended, are you any closer to finding the others? They're in a really dire situation. Red is trying his best to keep Dapper safe, but he's Monochroma right now, catatonic, and it's looking bleak for them. I wish I could tell you anything about their location.
Anti’s eyes falter and Blue’s lock onto your message, widening.
“I’m doing everything I can,” says Anti.
“Why can’t you find them? Catatonic! Holy hell! Fuck you, Anti, go get them, goddamn you!”
“Now you want me to have them?”
“I’ll worry about taking him away from you after he’s in his right mind. This is your fucking fault!”
“Shut up!” snaps Anti, grabbing the back of his neck. “You can blame a lot of things on me, but Dapper’s fucking psycho brain?”
“Don’t you dare call him - ”
“That is all his fault. Now shut up, the nurse is coming.”
“Why can’t you find them?”
Anti stares at him, fuming, licking at his mouth.
“Why can’t you find them?”
“Shut up,” whispers Anti. “Shut up, I…”
spicydanhowell asked: you Are killing him, marv. your magic is tearing him apart. it's too strong for him. he's weak.
Blue’s eyes fill up with message, and then, and then - his face is calm, he understands.
“You can’t bear the magic.”
Anti draws slightly away from him, shifting shape. He is a small, brown-haired, mousy child sitting curled up in Trick’s chair by his bed.
“The two of them don’t meld. And now - you can’t make yours work right.”
Seamus draws his knees to his chest, his black eyes fixed on Blue.
“Oh, oh,” whispers Blue, staring at him, at the knobs of the antlers, at the thorns of the roses. “Does it demand tangibility? Does it demand physicality? And you - you have never been anything but a simulation, coding and a little bit of falsity made into images and sensations. My magic asks for a body to bear it. Does it hurt, Anti? Does it hurt, to become a tangible thing? To have nerves growing in where they have never been before, to have flesh form along new bones, to feel blood well up in a heart that has never existed til now?”
“Shut up!” screams Anti, leaping to his feet, and the lights in the room burst with a screech just as Dr. Siong opens the door to the room.
“Seamus!” she cries, alarmed, sparks raining down from the darkened ceiling.
scunneredzombie asked: Anti, Blue, both of you, calm down. At least pretend to get along until they let him out of the hospital. Acting this spiteful and rude to each other is only going to draw unwanted attention to you when you're in public like this. Be smart, control your tempers the lot of you.
Anti and Blue stare at each other. Dr. Siong sweeps forward to check on the both of them, her careful hands pressing Blue back down onto his bed as he sways, grey-faced, and then turning to Anti, holding out her hands.
“Seamus, are you okay?”
He wants to turn into a dog and bite her face off.
“I’m fine,” he snaps, sitting back down in his chair. “Nobody came when I pressed for a nurse!”
“It took us a moment, didn’t it? I’m sorry. Did your brother wake up and you were all alone in here? Where’s Connor?”
“He went to get breakfast,” Anti says.
He flashes a look at Blue as the doctor turns to him, warning him with his eyes, but Blue’s used up most of the fight he has left in him - he’s slumped back on his pillows, foggy eyes fixed on the ceiling, breathing too slow, his eyes closed.
bupine asked: anti's magic with the cameras isn't working properly right now, blue. ever since he stole your magic, from what i've seen.
“Haha,” laughs Blue, his chest trembling. “Ha… that’s what you get, that’s what you get. Hope it… hope it burns you out.”
“Matthew?” asks Dr. Siong gently, readjusting his oxygen mask. “Are you with us? I think you gave your little brother a scare.”
“Ugh,” groans Blue, his eyes welling up. “Oh, oh. I feel horrible, I feel… I want… my brothers. My poor baby brother, catatonic.”
“Catatonic?” repeats Dr. Siong. “Who’s catatonic?”
pixie-in-trebleland asked: Blue? Marvin? Tell the doctor what's going on! She might be able to help.
Anti’s hand shoots forward to grab Blue’s. Blue looks over at him, chest heaving, teeth gritted, as Dr. Siong listens to his chest.
“Trickshot is mine,” signs Anti, hands striking viciously together. “You do anything to jeopardize our situation and I will make his life a living hell. Do you fucking understand me?”
Blue draws in painful breaths, staring at him.
Anonymous asked: Blue, he can’t control your magic, it’s making him sick! That’s why he can’t find them, there’s so much going on at one time. He’s blocked all of Trick’s memories of that night too and pulled him deep under his power.
“Deep is right,” Anti signs, baring his teeth. “And sick as I am, it’s nothing compared to how weak you are now. It’s nothing that will stop me from stringing up his little cat and forcing him to eat it.”
Blue’s eyes grieve. He swallows tightly and goes quiet.
“Can you tell me how your pain is, on a scale of one to ten?” asks Dr. Siong.
Blue is crying. He quakes beneath her hands. She rubs his shoulder, bustling around him.
“S-seven.”
“I’m going to increase your pain medication.”
Anonymous asked: Stand strong Marvin. Stand strong Blue. You are not empty. You aren't just a 'vessel'. Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage, against the dying of the light... Never forget what he's done to you. You will always be too much for him to handle, magnificent magician.
Blue’s eyes pick out your message slowly and pull them down deep, to keep them safe inside. Rage, rage, against the dying of the light. He is not a slave. He is not a pet. He does not want to go gentle.
“We’re going to take care of you, okay?” says the doctor. “It’s going to be okay.
“Okay,” whispers Blue, but he doesn’t know if he believes her.
Anonymous asked: His life is already a living hell Anti! Fuck you. Marvin do what you think is right. Remember, Dok is safe with the magicians and Red and Dapper are somewhere off by themselves. Trick is nearby and has started to seem semi independent, but he’s being heavily influenced by Anti.
“You don’t have the strength to keep fighting anyway, Blue,” hiss Anti’s hands.
Anonymous asked: Anti, do you really think there's anything Blue could say in this situation that would be taken for anything other than delirium by the doctors? Come on.
Anti sulks and slumps back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. “They better not,” he signs. “Stupid woman threatening me.”
bupine asked: there's no point trying to explain, blue. no one will understand, they think anti is just a child. just get along with him until you're out of the hospital
He nods rapidly, closing his eyes.
“C-can I see my other brother?”
nikkilbook asked: Blue, your name is Matthew. Trick is Connor, Anti is Seamus. You got your burns in a cooking accident-turned-house fire when your shirt caught fire.
“Connor,” Blue clarifies, nodding at you. “I… I want to see Connor.”
“Seamus, maybe you would be able to get him for us?” asks Dr. Siong gently. “Do you know where he went?”
Anti swallows back the daggers he wants to glare at her. Stupid fucking Trickshot.
“He’s almost here. He’ll be right back.”
Anonymous asked: Oh fuck Chase get up you need to get to the hospital NOW
Trick startles at the beeping on his camera, nearly dropping you. “Oh!” he gasps. “What’s wrong? Here I am, I’m coming through the door.”
bupine asked: trick, where are you? blue's awake!
Trick pauses, and then blinks, and then lights up like a happy heart monitor.
“Blue’s awake!” he shouts right there in the middle of the hallway, and then he’s off like a shot, ignoring the glances from people around him, racing towards his big brother. “Fuck yeah! Blue’s awake, Blue’s awake!”
badlypostedeverything asked: Blue is awake! He's not doing great though
“Oh, he’s not doing great, oh no. Okay, okay, no worries. I’m going to look after him, I am, I’m going to do everything Dok taught me and I’m going to guard him with the gun every night and nothing will come after him and we’ll be okay and - and - ”
He pushes through the door of the hospital room.
Dr. Siong is holding Blue as carefully as she can as he cries hot, rapid tears, his chest shaking with sobs. “It’s going to ease up soon,” she promises. “It’s going to ease, it’s going to get better.”
Blue cries against his pillow. “Am I going to die?”
“We’re monitoring your condition very closely. We believe there’s still a good chance of recovery.”
“Bl - Matti!” calls Trick, hurrying towards him. “Matti, thank fuck!”
“Trick,” croaks Blue, past caring, and then his little brother is wrapping himself around him, so, so careful of the burns and the pain and the distress that he’s in. Trick is strong and steady around him, healthy and whole, protecting his body, pressing their heads together, breathing against him.
“I’ve got you,” says Trick, sure and steady, and his voice does not shake. “I’ve got you. It’s going to be okay. I love you. I’m going to look after you.”
Blue presses his face into his shoulder and prays he never has to come out of hiding right here ever again.
Anonymous asked: Oh blue, is there anyway that someone can survive after their magic is taken from them? One of the magicians healed you as much as he could, but I don’t know how much that really counts for.
“Never heard of anything like this happening,” wheezes Blue. “Black magic, black.”
“I’m going to go get a nurse and have her get a look at these burns, alright?” soothes Dr. Siong, patting his ribcage gently. “There’s been a lot of improvement over the past few days.”
She turns to go, but a small voice pauses her. Seamus is standing upright on his chair again, a tiny ferocity staring right at her.
“What’s wrong with his eyes?” he asks. “Why can’t he see right? I thought you took brain scans.”
She glances at Connor. “Well, Seamus, sometimes things can happen that don’t show up on any of our early scans. But we’re going to run some more tests and try to figure it out.”
“If it’s not in his brain, then where is it?” snaps Anti, clutching his little fists together. Trick reaches out to grab his wrist, firm but gentle.
“Maybe the eyes themselves, some dysfunction?”
“You don’t know,” he says. “You don’t know, so you don’t know how to fix it.”
She sighs a low breath through her nose, looking down at Matti in the hospital bed, who stares back with those glassed-over eyes, like cataracts had filled up his vision. But they aren’t cataracts. Or if they are, she doesn’t know how the hell any of this could come from an auto-immune flare-up or a stroke or a seizure of anything natural she’s ever heard of.
“We’re going to do everything we can to find out,” she promises.
Seamus sits back down in his chest, blue eyes fixed on the floor, picking at his nails til they bleed, listening to the sound of her disappearing through the door.
He fucked up his vision. He didn’t know. Or he did, maybe. He knew that something bad would happen.
He did what he had to.
Seamus wraps his arms around his knees and sits in silence while Trick and Blue hold each other.
spicydanhowell asked: so, anti, what's /really/ wrong with him? the white hair, never waking up, now he's nearly blind? what's the truth? or is it just the loss of his magic? you know medical doctors can't fix that, right?
His eyes flicker over to you and then away again, changing to green. No, he doesn’t know. No, a stroke doesn’t explain what’s happened. Neither can any of the doctors here. His best bet, if he really wanted to know, would be a magician like the ones who took his clever doctor, but even if he cared to ask them, he doubts they would be able to do anything to help fix this. What’s done is done and he had to do it. He had to do it. He remembers Blue begging for him to stop. He had to do it.
“You had a stroke,” Trick is whispering, stroking Blue’s hair. “I was so scared.”
scunneredzombie asked: Be careful Trick. Anti is currently pissed as hell hidden under a barely controlled layer of fake-calm. Tread lightly.
Trick curls tighter around Blue’s body, fear flashing across his face. He would call it irrational for Anti to be angry at Blue within minutes of him waking up after days and days of unconsciousness, but he stopped expecting Anti’s anger to be reasonable a long time ago. All he can do is look after Blue.
bupine asked: red and dap are ok, blue. red misses you. i'm sorry we couldn't do anything else for you, but they're ok at least.
Blue’s eyes slide shut. Red and Dapper are okay. Red misses him.
Red abandoned him.
Red misses him. He’s okay. Red and Dapper are okay.
“I can feel you thinking,” teases Trick softly, nuzzling against his hair. “Just rest, Blue. Go back to sleep. It’s going to be alright. I am never, never letting you get hurt again.”
Blue keeps his face buried right there in Trick’s shoulder. Right there in Trick’s hoodie. And, just for a moment, despite everything that’s happened, despite the monster watching over them, he feels absolutely safe.
Or maybe the word he’s looking for is ‘loved,’ but if there’s a difference, he doesn’t care to distinguish.
Anonymous asked: Don't lie Anti. You didn't "have" to do it. You did it out of fear. Our of selfishness. Our of desperation. You nearly killed the only thing that gives you purpose. You nearly killed the only things you can bring yourself to care about. I can tell you feel guilty, but I think that's out of selfishness too.
Anti presses the camera down onto his shoulder, a little clip-on sitting beside him.
He doesn’t look like himself, or like Seamus, or like any of his puppets. Instead, as you watch him adjust, you recognize the face of the young Peruvian magician who protected Blue as the fire burned.
Anti pauses to regard your message coolly, Hermann’s face filled up with contempt and glitching moment to moment, a dark hood pulled over his head.
“I don’t feel guilty,” he says. “And I wouldn’t have killed him. I wouldn’t.”
He shifts and turns towards a small, run-down apartment building with vines growing up over the windows and palm trees swaying outside of it.
“I thought you should see this. Come with me.”
Anonymous asked: It's a good thing you look like a little brat, Anti, because you're acting just like one. Sometimes an i-don't-know is a better answer than a straight up lie. Let the doctors do their jobs, damn.
You see Hermann’s teeth grit in his mouth. “Trickshot belongs to me,” he growls. “I’ll tell him what I want him to know. He’ll believe what I want him to believe. And I don’t care what you think of me. Keep your mouths shut. I will show you fear… I will show you fear in a handful of dust.”
He slips along the edges of the building and then, with a leap, he is climbing up the side of it, approaching a balcony on the second floor, moving as smoothly as Red could, leaping in silence up the old red brick of it.
“Nothing like what happened that night will ever happen to us again. No one takes my pet from me and goes unpunished. If anyone is searching for us, I will pluck out their eyes.”
Anonymous asked: I would like to opt out of this field trip please. There's nothing you can show us that will take back the fact you wanted to kill Marvin out of hate and fear, and Trick out of convenience.
“You can go, no one’s keeping you here… anyway, I think about killing Trick all the time, it’s not a big deal. Something about him is just so small and pathetic. He never had the bite his brothers did, not really. More than the others to lose, I guess. Less useful, too. But he looks so much like… oh, look.”
Anti jerks back from the window, giggling as he hides, and a middle-aged man carrying a large swathe of colorful fabric passes the glass by, singing as he goes.
pixie-in-trebleland asked: Anti, can't you see that you've done more harm than good?
“Well, that’s always been so,” mumbles Anti. “Wasn’t exactly created for my acts of charity.”
Slowly, he reaches down to pull the window up, but finds it locked and so hot it burns the ends of his fingers. Hissing, he draws back and pauses outside the balcony, glaring at the lock.
It’s slow. It takes a lot of his concentration. But then, as you watch, the small, pretty green vines clinging to the building answer his call and come to wrap around the lock, again and again and again, until they are so tight that it snaps, and the window comes up, and he slips in beneath him.
The hall is quiet. It’s very early in the morning. Anti stares around him, black eyes cool and flickering. He flips a long and beautiful blade around in his hands.
pixie-in-trebleland asked: For once, can you just keep the insults of your "brothers" to yourself?
“You fuckers brought it up! I don’t really mean to insult him, you know, it’s just… what he is. Dok secretly loves blood so much it makes him ill, Red can’t lie, Trick’s a little more cowardly than his brothers - these are just facts. I know how to work with it so he’s still perfectly useful most of the time. Now, shhh.”
whydoilovesomanyvillians asked: Anti what are you doing
“I just wanted to remind you all,” whispers Anti, beginning down the hall. “Who I am and just how useless outside help could ever be to you.”
There is a door with a light on. Inside, you can hear the man singing and circling around the room, sashaying with his fabric.
“You got lucky, contacting those magicians. You got lucky, the little boy noticing Red in the market. You got lucky, me being ill and me needing Blue’s magic, and the magicians being just close enough to take my boy away from me. But I will get Henrik back, and Jackie and Dapper too, and no one is going to help you. You’re here to watch. Watch. You saw the ravens and the condors, congrats. Say hello to the sunbirds. I’m going to make sure they can’t help you ever again.”
He pushes open the door.
spicydanhowell asked: anti who the f u c k did you kidnap
“Kidnap?” says Anti. “Kidnap? No way!”
The man lets out a cry and green powers light up in his hands, but Anti is already throwing himself forward, slamming the man to the ground. He hits the floor with his fabric billowing around him, and now you can see that it is a soft, pretty cloak in vivid sunbird colors. He tries to shout, but Anti has a blade on his jugular already.
“Poor little magician,” he coos, digging Hermann’s hands into his throat and making the man choke. “Just bad luck, puppet, I’m afraid. I would have slaughtered the order in whichever part of the world I went to.”
“You’re the monster,” says the sunbird, trying to push up from beneath his hands, gasping. “The ones the Peruvians warned about. The shape-shifter, the dog-man.”
Anti leans down, close, close, so you can see the dark and lovely eyes of the man, and the fear in his face, and the courage, too, just for a moment.
“Maybe you should have heeded their warning,” says Anti.
He draws back the blade and - well. Perhaps you turn your eyes away.
scunneredzombie asked: Anti wait, killing anyone right now is /such/ a bad idea! You're forced to be in the public eye for now while Blue is in the hospital, doing things like this will only draw in the eyes of the magicians. If you kill or torture people right now, you could get caught by them.
“Magicians live under the radar, they do not report to police or retreat to hospitals. It is just as when I sent Red to kill the librarian and take the book from him. The police found a body without identification or any record of existence, and, from there, the magicians and I both covered the killing up. We both live in the shadows, and that is where this violence will stay. You’re underestimating how well I can cover my tracks.”
Anti gets to his feet, blood sliding down his palms, and he turns back towards the door of the little apartment, and stalks back out into the hall. Magicians, in his experience, are always pack animals.
bupine asked: anti, may i ask if this thing you want to show us involves death? are you going to kill someone? and why are you wearing the face of a magician you hate?
“Oops,” says Anti, licking his blade off. “Should I have warned you?”
Footsteps pause at the end of the hall at the sound of his voice.
“Caleb? Is that you, meh?”
Anti grins coldly. “I like to steal faces,” he says, and then he is Genesis, stalking down the hall and filling it up with laughter.
You see the shadow at the end of the hall pause, and the turn to flee, but not fast enough, not fast enough. “I am nobody’s prop!” Anti is screaming. “Nobody takes things from me! Nobody moves my things and steals my pets! I’m the one in control! Thieves, thieves! You won’t take anything from me ever again! Where is my doctor? Where is my Henrik? Why can’t I fucking find him? Did you kill him, did you take him from me?”
Lights flicker on on the other floors, confused murmuring coming through the vents.
florenceisfalling asked: anti, they're just going to keep hiding henrik further and further away from you like this. you aren't exactly being subtle.
“They don’t have him anyway,” chokes Anti, covering his face with his hands. His throat splits open and begins to weep. “I don’t know where they sent him to but I would know if he was here, I would know. I used to be able to search the whole world in seconds. Now I am being incarnated smaller and smaller every day, and I cannot reach, and I cannot get back to Peru, and I cannot see or hear or feel his heart. The magic demands tangibility.”
pixie-in-trebleland asked: This is about Henrik? Goodness, Anti, there's better ways of going about this!!
“I’ll punish them!” Anti shouts. “I’ll kill every fucking magician alive if I have to! I’ll strip you all down to bone! He belongs to me! Vigilante thieves, as bad as Jackie was, trying to take my Dapper away from me! Tonight I shed blood, turn your eyes away if you don’t wish to see.”
He gets to his feet and races down the stairs, wielding the knife, antlers bursting from his skull, coated in red weigela kisses.
badlypostedeverything asked: Then what use is it expending all of your energy killing these magicians?
“The Peruvians warned their brothers and sisters. They could find Trick and Blue and try to take them too. I won’t let them happen. And I won’t give you anyone that you can call upon. Besides, I have to give this anger to someone, I have to do something with this rage, I am being devoured, they stole my Doktor from me.”
bupine asked: OH, you're looking for dok. good luck, dude, even we haven't seen him yet. hope he's ok. maybe if some fuckin dickhead hadn't left him in a fire we'd know he was ok, but hey, things happen.
“It wasn’t burning when I left him! It wasn’t! Don’t say that! I hid him and his twin, I hid them, my weak ones! He didn’t have a chance to defend himself, I’m sure he didn’t, he’s never been good in a fight, I should have left him at home and came back for him…”
bupine asked: "i hid them" yeah, and you did a grand old job of it. well done, man.
“He came down to the river for Blue. He came down to the river for Blue. I told him to stay and be quiet, and he and Trick could have protected each other. It was his fault.”
badlypostedeverything asked: Loving the floral look there. Want a nice ornament to hang off of those antlers? some weedkiller perhaps?
“Fucking weeds,” Anti screams, tearing at his antlers. “I hate the way all of this feels. But I’ll do what I have to, I did what I had to!”
He has found another sunbird and he is tearing them apart. You can hear the wailing beneath him. He fights with all the ferocity he did in the fire on that night when he stole Blue’s magic, but something has changed. His control is better now - despite the fury burning off him, his fire does not spread, plants burst up where he steps, and he glitches just as well as always in the small space of the building, too swift and too swiftly changing to be caught or hit or stopped. The power is eating at him, yes - but he does possess and control it, and every day, the two magics in his chest are melding, molten, into each other more and more.
pixie-in-trebleland asked: Trick tried hos damnedest to protect his twin, Anti. Something you've clearly never done
“You don’t know anything about the things we’ve been through,” snarls Anti, dragging himself up with blood dripping from a dog’s mouth. “I may not have loved them the way other beings would, but I have always tried to keep them safe when others came - police, magicians, government, old enemies. I - I have never failed to keep them with me before…”
badlypostedeverything asked: Anti, you've got to give blue back his magic. Otherwise he'll die and your puppet collection will be incomplete. Wouldn't want that would you? There are other ways to keep him in check
“Do you think it’s that simple? Do you think I even know how I would give it back to him? No, it can’t go back, it’s doesn’t just go back. Even if I knew how, I wouldn’t, I wouldn’t, I can hide him now. I can… I have to be able to… this must have been worth it, it must have…”
He lets another body thud to the floor, panting hard. These people are diverse and complex, with stories and lives and families all their own, but it doesn’t matter to Anti and it never has. He and his are all that matters. He and the boy and the things the boy created. That is all that has ever mattered.
Anonymous asked: Are you trying to start a magician war? How exactly is that going to help you?
“I will leave nothing here to be warred with. I am the war and the victor. They will not find Trick and Blue.”
cest-mellow asked: or maybe, you know, if you hadn’t stolen marvin’s magic none of this would be happening. he wouldn’t be dying, YOU wouldn’t be dying, and you’d have all of the brainwashed boys at your side again. but no! no no. greed is such a dangerous thing.
“No, no,” mumbles Anti, rubbing hard at his face, now shifting, constant, between dozens of faces, some you have seen, and some you have not. “No, no.”
Red’s mouth and Blue’s ears. Hermann’s hair and Emmanuela’s hands. The body of a stranger and Jack’s eyes.
bupine asked: so does blue have no magic now? is that why his hair turned white and he won't get better? is he gonna survive without magic? do you even know?
“He will survive. I will not let him go. Yes, he’s empty of it now, his hair is whitening and his eyes cloud over and all the time I feel his hand and find it winter-cold. But he’ll survive, that’s what they told me, that’s what they promised. I will not let him go.”
Meanwhile, death on his hands. There were perhaps six or seven sunbirds in their little building, and they managed only glancing blows in the face of Anti’s power. It is a small country and if there are any more left Anti will track down the rest of them too. The bodies lie around you. You have caught the violence in passing, up-close, swinging around on Anti’s shoulder, so only glimpses mark their passings.
Anti’s head bows low enough you can see the exhaustion on his face. He chokes, suddenly, and bows lower, and blood drizzles down from his lips, thick and viscous, and he grabs at his chest, groaning.
pixie-in-trebleland asked: Maybe a little bit of freedom would do them good. A tight hold only encourages them to leave you
“Trick likes to go to get his food at the hawker stands,” mumbles Anti, gripping one of the antlers on his head with both hands. He strains for a second, squeezing tight, tight, tight, and, with both hands, yanking -
The antler snaps off. He screams so loud it echoes and throws it to the ground, and the wail turns into shaky, shrieking laughter.
“Y-yes, every now and then a little freedom. But I can’t… I don’t want… I won’t risk them slipping away from me too… it’s already so quiet all the time, and so cold with the warm buzz of their souls around me…”
pixie-in-trebleland asked: Anti, leave them alone!
“Deserved what they got,” Anti is whispering, looking at his hands, his pupils slightly blown. “Deserved what they got. Did what I had to. Always do. Always do.”
Anonymous asked: Regretting it yet, Anti?
Anti leans down and clutches his head in his hands, hiding against himself.
bupine asked: don't overexpend yourself. magic has limits, even for marvin, even for you. if you hurt yourself too badly you won't get back to trick or blue. just go while you can.
Anti coughs and nods slowly, getting to his feet, pale and unsteady, but nevertheless victorious, closing his eyes as his head pounds through the adrenaline of a good kill. He should feel good. This always used to make him feel so good.
“Ungh,” he grumbles, wiping a little blood from his face. “Trick and Blue…”
Anonymous asked: If Chase reminds you of Jack that much, why keep him around at all? And if you were to kill Chase because of his likeness to Jack, why on earth is Jack still alive if he's the one you actually despise?
“Maybe…”
Anti pulls at his hair, closing his eyes tight.
“Maybe I don’t mind being reminded of Jack sometimes. Maybe I wouldn’t mind if he was here with me. Maybe I would like it if he was. Maybe I’m collecting the pieces of him… Maybe he would be dead if I could kill him.”
pixie-in-trebleland asked: Anti....go back to the others. You can't let this rampage continue.
He finds a sink and begins to wash himself, cleaning the blood from his face and his hands, spitting the last of the mucus and copper into the sink and running cool water through his hair. He shifts slightly and manages to look clean, if a little ill. He stares at himself and Jack’s eyes stare back.
Anti leaves his knife embedded in the mirror and leaves the apartment building, the door swinging open behind him, erasing all security footage within twenty-five kilometers. You’re right. Time to go back.
Anonymous asked: Oh wait, Jack is alive? I thought for sure you got rid of him, I don't know why I assumed that
“Shut up,” mumbles Anti. “We don’t talk about him.”
Anonymous asked: Tell Trick what happened, Anti. Stop lying. You can’t fix it. Tell him the truth. You went too far like you always do and there is no way to fix it. There has never been any way to fix anything. You can’t “fix” Dapper’s mental state, you can’t change Red’s purpose with a fucking collar, you can’t “fix” Trick’s tendencies with isolation. You can’t “fix” Dok’s medical skills by making him take all the blame for your stupid mistakes. You can’t kill Marvin’s spirit but taking away his magic.
Anti shakes his head, slow, slow, worn down by the discussion. “I will fix it,” he tells you, making his voice steady. “I will. And this… this was the first step. I wanted you to remember who I am. I will get the others back. I will. Don’t hope, don’t wonder, don’t even imagine them staying away from me. Soon, they’ll be mine again. And I will find a way to fix… all of it. All of it. And then maybe we can all find some peace for once.”
bupine asked: do you miss jack, then? also, are you ever gonna tell us what happened to him? you don't have to, but we'd like to at least know.
Anti stands at a bus station alone, sitting beneath the little glass cover of it, small and weary on the cold bench.
A soft drizzle of rain is beginning. It patters against the glass.
“Maybe you’re not the only one who’d like to know.”
He reaches up and turns you off.
----------
Anonymous asked: Awright magicians, you gotta turn that camera on eventually. We've got info on the demon, you have info on our BOY! Let's trade, hm?
It is also raining in Peru.
You can hear it on the roof of this little, white-brick building in which you find yourself. You can see it in the frizz of the hair of the girl who is holding you. You could smell it, if you were there beside her - petrichor and a dozen aromas of shared, clean, healthy magic.
“Hi,” says Nina, staring down at you, and a moment later Hermann stands beside her, his hand on her shoulder. “We really didn’t want to do this, but we could use your help with a little emergency.”
If you listen, you can hear Doktor screaming.
scunneredzombie asked: Magicians, please don't hurt Doktor. He's been through so much. But, as glad as I am that you have him away from the demon, he probably won't ever cooperate with you unless you manage to get his brother Trickshot as well. Also, turn the camera off as quick as you can, only ask us sparse questions, the demon can track where the cameras are, and he will show up and attack if you keep the signal up for too long.
“You are right about the cooperating,” mumbles Hermann, chewing on the nail of his thumb, glancing up and then back down at you, up and then back down.
“Hermann,” says Nina smoothly, adjusting her grip on you, her clear black eyes fixed on your lens. She speaks English much more clearly than he does. “Stop being so nervous. He’s just fine. Thank you for your information. I’ll make a note of all that you say. I’m curious as to who you are and why you’re here, but we’ll discuss it at another time. As for the creature tracking him here or watching our signals, there’s no need to be concerned. This place is very safe. Wardings and spells will keep outside eyes from peering in. We had an intimate encounter with the creature’s power and his technical manipulation, at least, will not be able to invade this place.”
In the distance, Henrik’s scream rises in pitch and you distinguish his words.
“No, no, don’t touch me! Stop, leave me alone, no! Give me back to my brothers! Give me back to my master!”
Footsteps come down the hall towards them and Nina and Hermann look up. You hear Genesis murmur something, and then Hermann is darting away to speak with her, the two of them chattering in Spanish as Henrik continues to cry out.
Nina lets out a short, irritated sigh through her nose.
“My name is Nina Vasquez. I’m a healer with the Peruvian Order of the Raven. And I refuse to sedate your little friend for the fourth time this week. He is beginning to make himself very ill. Please help us calm him down.”
Anonymous asked: Hey magicians? The sunbirds just got slaughtered, and if there are any left, they are being hunted down.
Nina’s face darkens with alarm. She stares down at the cold stone floor for a second, sorrow flashing across her face.
“Nina, what is it?” asks Genesis in Spanish.
“Never mind,” answers Nina softly, clearing her visage. “We’ll discuss it with Emmanuela later. It’s… it’s already done.”
She puts a hand on her pregnant stomach, nodding slowly at you.
cest-mellow asked: give the camera to doktor so we can talk to him and help calm him down
Nina glances up at the others one more time. “We’re sure this is a good idea?”
“Yes,” say Genesis and Hermann at the same time.
“The cameras helped me to convince the puppet magician to cast his power so you could all find me before I was to be killed,” says Genesis. “And told the gunman not to shoot me either.”
“And they help me find the magician when he was injured in the water,” adds Hermann.
“Without them, we would not have been possible to find the twin snipers and bring this one home in the first place.”
Nina lets out a low sigh and holds out the camera.
“Hello again, camera elves,” says Genesis fondly, taking you from her hands, and then the two of them are darting back down the hall together. Hermann limps, but he’s healthy enough to run, and the cuts on Genesis’s skin have faded a great deal since you saw her last.
They bring you to the door of a small room with an open window high up on the wall to let the breeze in. Another raven magician is sitting in his wheelchair at the entrance, his hands out-stretched soothingly, and Hermann’s ice coats most of the door, leaving only a small gap for you to see Doktor, huddled against the wall in the back corner, his face bright red and his body shaking, covering his eyes with his hands.
“Stay away from me, stay away!” he shrieks, writhing against the wall until his head strikes it, once, twice. “Give me back to my master, let me go! Let me go, let me go!”
“Sh, sh,” pleads the other magician. “Sh, no one is hurting you.”
“Look out, JP, we got something for him,” says Genesis, coming up beside him to hold the camera out. “Hey, amigo, come here, it is your friends. Hey, hey, no need for the yelling so loud. All okay, yes.”
Doktor isn’t listening. He thuds his head back against the wall, clutching at his shoulders, his eyes squeezed shut.
“Medico,” says Hermann gently. “Medico, it’s your master’s camera.”
Doktor pauses and opens one frightened eye.
whydoilovesomanyvillians asked: Hey you magicians have like a bunch of wards on the place right cause if not then your gonna have a lot of problems really soon
“This place is extraordinarily secure from that creature,” says JP. “Our encounter with the monster was… was… horrible… and we’ve lost friends to it. We’ve lost many friends to it and I wish it did not have to be like it is, but the silver lining is a better understanding of that thing. It won’t be able to track or hack into this camera-messaging system it set up. It will be very difficult for it to find this place by any other means. And as we speak, the Old Man is continuing his research.”
“Our librarian,” says Hermann.
“We have the biggest collection of magical research and books in South America,” adds Genesis. “In case any of you are fucking nerds.”
“The monster is nothing normal, nothing we’ve seen before, not even classifiable as a demon in the technical term. But we’re working on discovering what it is. What matters now, my friends, is that not a word of this gets back to the monster. Do you understand?”
JP’s eyes entreat you. The light reflects gold off the deep blackness of his skin and his eyes swallow up all light. His face is round and kind and open.
“Don’t tell it you saw this man. Don’t tell it we have him. Don’t tell it you even know he is alive. Say nothing. Yes? Say nothing.”
“No,” screams Doktor, grasping for you. “No, tell Anti I’m here, tell Anti to come get me! Please, I don’t want to be a prisoner, let me go back to my brothers! Tell master I’m here in Peru!”
cest-mellow asked: dok, it’s us, are you doing okay? you need to calm down buddy, you’re gonna hurt yourself.
Dok grabs you and pulls you close to him, darting back into his corner beside a clean, unused bed, hiding against the board of it. His teeth are chattering in his mouth, but sweat beads and drips down his pale cheeks.
“Anti is going to be so angry with me,” he chants in a low shaking monotone, his pupils blown, staring slightly to the side of you. “Anti’s going to be so angry, Anti’s going to be so angry, Anti’s going to hurt Trick for letting me go, I’m in trouble, I want to go home, I’m afraid, I’m afraid.”
hollenka99 asked: Dok? Can you hear us? What's going on?
“I was with Trick, I was in the field with Trick, and they were going to take him, they were going to take him away from me. And I told them not to and then she grabbed me! The girl grabbed me, she grabbed me, and then I was here, and then there were hands holding me down, everyone grabbed at me, and they drugged me and locked me away!”
He lets out a cry of despair, gripping at his shoulder, shoving himself back against the wall. “They want to touch me, they want to look into my head, they’re going to make me think things that aren’t true! They won’t let me go! They think Anti is a monster, they’re hunting him, and Blue was ill, and I can’t - I need to be - I want to go home, let me out, let me out, let me go, no, no, no!”
cest-mellow asked: dok, anti isnt mad, hes just worried for you, everything is okay. trick is doing just fine, red and dapper and blue are getting by alright as well. take some deep breaths, focus on your breathing. everything is gonna be okay! we’re here with you now, you’re not alone
Doktor sniffles for a moment, rubbing at his salt-soaked face. He’d usually be embarrassed to let you see him like this - hell, he’d usually be hiding in a nest Trick made for him, curled up with Trick pretending he didn’t even notice, just nudging Noodle gently over to comfort him and guarding the window from everything that might come to hurt them, maybe rubbing Doktor’s shoulder when his cries went from silent to sobbing, and Doktor would cry himself exhausted and then fall asleep to the sound of his twin’s breathing -
Dok covers his face with his hands again, hiccuping as tears come sliding down his cheeks again.
“He’s just fine? Anti is not hurting him? He is not wanting to die? Anti’s not - Anti’s worried about me? Me?”
Anonymous asked: DOK!! We missed you! You're not hurt or anything, right? And before you ask, Trick is safe. Everyone is about as well as they can be, given the separation.
Doktor curls his hands tight around you, hiccuping on sobs. “I missed you too, I did, I missed everyone. You will tell Anti where I am, won’t you? And he’ll come get me and even if he’s mad at least he’ll take me home and give me back to Trick. Oh, I really want that, I know you’ll tell him for me.”
He wipes at his face, breathing out a shuddering sigh.
“H-hurt, no, no, no, don’t let them tell you I’m hurt, they’re liars! The healer girl says ‘oh, you’re not well, he treats you badly, where are all these cuts from and why do you have worms?’ But she’s just a liar, they’re just lying magician wannabes, they’re not like my Anti and my Blue, don’t listen to them. No, not hurt, I’m good, I’m well, nobody is being bad to me, Anti has not made me ill or injured or sick in the head. They’re liars, they lie, they stole me to hurt Anti, maybe soon they will kill me…”
cest-mellow asked: yes, dok, trick is doing just fine. he’s got noodle, and a nice warm place to sleep in and anti is doing his best to take care of him. theyre worried about you. have you gotten any sleep while you’ve been here?
“The girl keeps making me sleep!” sobs Doktor, grabbing you to his chest. “She puts needles in me, she tries to feed me things! Not even a real doctor! Stupid ‘magic’ doctor! This is stupid! I can take care of myself! I’m okay! She drugs me! Don’t let her come near me, no, no, no, please, I’m afraid of the needles and the way they all look at me, like I am little lost sheep, like I am broken toy. Not like Trick looks at me, like I am his and belong just right and everything is okay with us. No, I will make sure they know Anti taught me to hurt even though I am his worst fighter, they try and come near me and I bite.”
scunneredzombie asked: Doktor... Anti hurt you. He cuts you and tortures you. And you have worms too? Buddy... Listen to the healer. Let her help you. Please. What would any of this be for if you die before ever getting to see Trick again? Let yourself be healed, or you risk never seeing your family again.
“No, no, no!” screeches Doktor, dropping you to the ground and tearing at his throat as JP lets out a warning cry from the doorway. “No, no, Anti loves me, Anti is not bad, not true, not true! Master, come get me! Trick, Trick, why won’t you come save me, I know you love me, Trick is not bad to me, no one is torturing me, Anti is not a monster! Make this stop! Make this stop! Make this stop!”
Genesis is leaping into the room, and she comes to kneel beside him and tries to pin him down as gently as she can, but he’s thrashing wildly, and when his head begins to hit the wall and the end of the bed again, Hermann drops the ice and comes to hold Doktor’s head in his hands, barely avoiding getting his fingers bit.
“Don’t touch me! Don’t touch me! Anti hates it when other people touch me! Dirty, useless! Stupid fucking monsters! You stole me from my family! You stole me! I’m glad Anti killed that man who grabbed my Trick, I’m glad Red killed your boy with the book! Fuck you, fuck you!”
“Don’t say that!” cries Genesis, her fury ignited, and Hermann murmurs her name, low and soothing. “You’re sick, you know that? That horrible thing is in your head. You’re so sick you can’t even tell that you are sick. What a horrible curse for a medico. You should be careful, you know. Not everyone is so convinced that you are not as evil as your master, you poor fucking bastard. Oh, please, you suffering idiot, stop, stop clawing at yourself like that!”
Anonymous asked: Anti won't hurt you or Trick, Dok, everything will be okay. Just let the magicians help you for now, alright? Let them see what's going on. The more you work with them, the sooner you'll see Trick and the others. Nothing is your fault. It's all okay. You need to calm yourself, you're hurting your head.
“No, no, please,” moans Doktor, trying to hide from Genesis and Hermann as JP rolls slowly into the room. “Don’t hurt me, afraid, afraid. I’ll bite you, I’ll kill you! Anti will be so angry, Anti will… mmhhh.”
“He’s so tired,” whispers Hermann, stroking Dok’s hair and making him jolt and hiss, baring his teeth. “Nina says he will just keep fighting and fighting and fighting til he dies if something doesn’t change. Emmanuela thinks the demon made it so that it is horrible, in his head, to be taken away from it. The hypnosis is very complex, she says. She’s good at that stuff. She says he doesn’t even know how to believe it is a bad demon anymore, because it entangled itself into everything he knows to be true. Entangled itself into everybody he loves. So he can’t lose the demon without the whole system falling apart. Without his whole life falling apart, and all his beliefs, and everything he’s ever been through becoming a horrible nightmare.”
“Already a horrible nightmare,” mumbles Genesis, pushing his wrists against his heart. “The horrible part would be for him to recognize it. Imagine looking back on all you remember and realizing all of it was torture, torture from somebody who forced you to love them. Hard to blame him for refusing to listen. But this cannot be going on and on.”
scunneredzombie asked: Doktor, it's so good to know you're safe. Everything will be okay. Trickshot is somewhere safe, he's doing okay. Trust me when I say that /you/ are safe too. These magicians want to help. Let them help you, Doktor. Talk to them. I'm betting the more you cooperate, the sooner you'll be back with your family.
“Trickshot is safe,” whimpers Dok, curling in on himself like a porcupine, holding himself. He’s wearing an over-sized t-shirt and running shorts, neither of which you recognize as his. “Trickshot is safe. I want to be with him. I want to be with him. I want to be with him.”
hollenka99 asked: Don't worry about Blue for the moment. I promise he's being taken good care of. Anti and Trick are keeping him safe. You know they would never let anything bad happen to you or your brothers, if they can help it. For now, co-operate with the people around you. If they prove to be an active threat, then by all means fight them in self defense. But don't wear yourself out too quickly. It may be a while before Anti can work out where you are, let alone reach you.
“And Blue’s okay!” cries Dok, a little relief soothing him under Genesis’s hands, his eyes managing to fix on you again. “Oh, oh, Blue is well, and Trick is protecting him… oh, the cameras would not lie to me.”
He pauses, mulling over the rest of your message. His eyes dart up to the magicians and then away again, hard and cold.
“We’ll let you go if you stop the thrashing,” says Genesis. Slowly, her hands pull away.
“There you go,” soothes Hermann, patting Dok’s cheek one more time. “There you go. Yes? Okay, amigo?”
Doktor says nothing, swallowing hard and staring at the wall, holding you like a stuffy. Genesis and Hermann glance at him, at you, and at each other, and then get up and go back to the door to give him some space with you again.
Maybe you’re right. He shouldn’t wear himself out too quickly. He doesn’t mean to - well, maybe some of it, he means to.
“I’m just - I’m just scared,” he admits, his voice trembling. “V-very scared. I can’t be here… I can’t… I can’t believe any of this is real… too bizarre, too scary. Why did Anti let them catch up to us? Why… why did he do that to Blue? I trusted him and he… he…”
Doktor closes his eyes and clears his throat, beginning to shake again, hard. “He just made a mistake, though… he just made a… you’ll tell him where I am, I know you will, and then we can all go home…”
scunneredzombie asked: Doktor, can you do something for me? If you can come down to us for just a moment, pretend the magicians don't exist, can you list for me 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you smell, and 1 thing you can taste? Focus on calming, buddy, everything will be okay. Anti isn't "bad" necessarily, that isn't what I was meaning. But he did cut you. And as a doctor, a wonderful doctor, you should know that wounds need treatment.
Dok tries to shake himself out of his haze. Tries to look at you. Tries to concentrate. He’s played games like this before. Trick plays them with him, he plays them with Trick. Fuck, he wishes his twin were here to lie beside him or rub his shoulder or guard over him as he slept. Or that Blue would come and stroke his hair and tell him he’s doing so well, tell him he’s so clever and talented and he loves him so much. Dapper could come curl up around his stomach or get him some food and water he could actually trust. Even Red… even Red would guard him. Red’s not always kind, but Red is a part of Dok’s world, and the way he acts makes sense, fits in his schema, reinforces all the things he knows to be true. He knows, he knows.
“I’m sorry, I’m sure you didn’t mean anything, I’m sorry, I can’t calm down at all,” chokes Dok.
But no, no, he can try, he can play these games, he knows how.
“I can see… the open window with all the light coming in. And the door with the ice on it. A little bed with nice white sheets, all the food I knocked over, a camera I like. Everything is blurry. I have broken my glasses. The nice glasses Anti bought me. I broke them and they took them away from me so I don’t even have the shattered ones. Red will kill me. He will have to buy me new ones. No, he will just make me wear contacts… I hate that.”
He holds onto himself, rubbing at his face.
“I can feel this stranger’s shirt. It is soft, though. And the cold stone against me. And the wood of the bed against my skull. I can feel… my head hurting. It protests at me. I want Trick to come and look after me. He fusses over me… Blue will fuss over me… maybe even Anti will, oh…
“I can hear birds through the window. Very sweet birds singing. And there’s often chattering coming by. Nobody chatters at home. We speak so quietly or so loudly, in private or for everyone to hear. Here, they just chatter, they just chatter about anything. There is rarely any urgency. I can hear the little beep-beep-beep of your messages.
“I smell flowers, lots of them. I saw a garden. Right in the middle of the building, a garden, blooming. Tropical flowers and trees. Blue would like it. I smell dust. No one has used this room in a long time.”
He is beginning to come down from the worst of it. His eyes blink slowly as he lies slumped against the bed, and you think that, perhaps, he is even a little sleepy. He has been fighting for days and days and days.
“I taste… chalky medicine. They are trying to give me so many different things. I keep trying to tell them I’m not sick. They don’t listen. I know Anti will not like it. Anti says only he and I make decisions about medicine. No one else chooses what’s in his pets… I am a good pet, I am… tell him I’m being good, I’m being so good, I’m a good boy.”
He holds his knees to his chest, his eyes drifting.
hollenka99 asked: Please don't be scared, Dok. We've finally managed to reach you and we'll be here for you as much as we are able. It's not much to help your situation, I know, but I hope it can be enough for now.
“You… you are always there when we have called on you. Thank you, yes, oh. It’s enough, it’s going to have to be enough.”
His eyes well again, but less painfully now. He even manages a small, strained smile at you. “I confess you are a comfort to me. I have spoken to no one, no one. It will be enough, it must be. I hope this will lead my brothers to me soon, yes? Yes, and I will go home. And this can stop. It must, it must, it must.”
Another voice joins the murmurs in the doorway.
“If I could just get him to settle down for a real examination…”
“Or at least just eat something!”
“This cannot go on. He makes himself more ill every day.”
“Emmanuela can’t begin helping him with his head while he refuses every sort of help. She has no place to start. Not the slightest trust or understanding of what’s happened to him.”
Doktor hides you jealously against himself.
Anonymous asked: Dok, try to stay calm. I know it's scary and strange but they won't hurt you, we wouldn't lie to you. Try to cooperate okay? Then you don't have to be sedated and you can stay awake. You trust us right?
“Okay,” says Doktor shakily, pushing limp hair from his eyes. “Okay, I can stay calm, I’m okay.”
“Is there anything we can get you?” asks Hermann in his heavy accent and his soft voice, giving him space from the other side of the room. But Dok just jolts and clutches you to himself, turning down his eyes and huddling in on himself, a porcupine.
“Think I can get the connection up on my computer too,” mumbles JP, rocking back on his wheels to grab his bag off the side and pull his laptop out. “We can all chat if we need to. But maybe he needs some quiet time now, I don’t know.”
“Here’s my question,” Nina puts in, peering down at his computer, her hand on his shoulder. “What do we call him? He won’t tell us his name. Genesis says the monster calls him doctor, but I’d rather have something real for him.”
Doktor whimpers with fear, squeezing you tight in his hands, his face going red. No, no, his name belongs to Anti and his twin and no one else! Henrik is a secret, even he isn’t supposed to know it!
immabethehero asked: His real name is Henrik von Schneeplestein, but I don't believe he will respond to that well. Antisepticeye said it was a "forbbiden" name
“Ah,” says Hermann. “Well, maybe that’s good, I can’t pronounce that anyway. Oh, you did get the connection up, JP, I can see them. Hello!”
“I think Medico is sweet,” says Genesis.
“It’s not a name,” says Nina. “It’s just doctor again. And I don’t want him to have to be just the monster’s doctor. He needs to have a chance to be himself again.”
sophiness asked: Goddamn when Red and Dapper get back to Anti he better fucking reward Red with something!! He's trying so hard, he deserves it!
You are set on the quiet bedside drawer of a worn-out motel room. From your angle, you can make out a body buried under bedsheets, and, on the floor in a dark huddle, Red rocking back and forth in his sleep, mumbling.
In fact, it doesn’t take long before the rocking turns to writhing, and the writhing turns to thrashing, and the thrashing turns to screaming, and then Red is awake, hollering, tearing at his arms.
“Didn’t mean to, didn’t mean to! No, no! Didn’t - ”
Regaining awareness cuts him off shortly; he blinks and forces himself to shut up, staring straight ahead. He tries to swallow off the heavy panting immediately, cursing himself for his noise and his weakness and his nightmares. He needs to be quiet. He shoves himself to his feet and staggers to the bathroom, refusing to let you look at him until he feels in control again.
And so it is almost forty-five minutes before he comes back out again, and pads over to you, and glances at your messages.
“Sorry,” he whispers. “I’m sorry, I’m so loud. Oh, thank you. Ha, yeah, I am trying hard, I am… not very good at any of this but I’m trying. Thank you, yeah.”
Dapper shifts slightly in the bed beside him, but Red doesn’t notice.
pixie-in-trebleland asked: What are you guys trying to connect to?
“You,” laughs Hermann, tapping the screen of JP’s computer.
“The communication system connected to the cameras is replicable,” says JP. “I just made sure it’s secure and booted it up. It’s not even really a complex program, though I’m curious about some parts of it… anyway, now you can see us from my computer camera, right?”
You can drag the image in the program to sit beneath the one from Doktor’s camera, so you have a screen for him and a screen for the magicians.
Anonymous asked: Try calling him Jack. It doesn't mean anything to him but it should. Maybe that will help his old self start to break through a little? Dr. Jack might be an okay transition.
“Jack, huh? Maybe we could try that. If we need a name really badly we will use that one. What do you think, Medico? Are you a Jack?”
Dok’s eyes flicker up to them and then away again.
Anonymous asked: if you'd like to give him the chance to be himself, why not ask him to choose something to be called?
“I like that,” says JP.
“They’re right, actually,” agrees Hermann.
Nina glances over at the figure huddled in the corner of the room.
“Hey, do you hear them? Maybe in the next couple days you can choose something you want us to call you, okay? We’re not going to call you just doctor.”
“That’s my name,” rasps Dok, pulling at his hair, and they all startle a little. He doesn’t usually respond, not to anything. “That’s my name, it’s the only name that matters.”
Nina crosses her arms over her chest. “We won’t call you it anymore. Do whatever you want. You choose who you get to be. But you better choose carefully, ‘doctor,’ cause I’m not sure I like who you are right now.”
And she is turning to go, leaving her friends behind her.
JP chews on his lip, watching her leave. Genesis and Hermann exchange glances.
“Anything you need, medico,” calls Hermann gently, trying to smile at him. “We give you a little space for the now, yeah? I will guard out here in the hall. You two have other things you can be doing. No need to be all of us watch.”
bupine asked: hey dok, hen, whoever you are. you don't have to be afraid. you know us, you know we've not steered you wrong, we've always been kind to you and tried to protect you from anti. we care about you. trust us when we say that these magicians mean you no harm. did you know blue used to be one of them? and you know he would never harm you. trust us, ok?
Dok softens, blinking.
“What - Blue, someone like them?”
He glances at the door, closed now, with Hermann sitting outside of it. Dok taps his fingers on the floor.
“You are all good. Blue is good. Blue is always good and very nice. But maybe he was not before he was Anti’s? Maybe Anti made him nice? But I remember when he came to us and he was very afraid, but he was still nice to us, and bandaged Red, and helped Trick keep me safe.”
He pauses, chewing on his lip.
“Maybe magicians can be nice. But these ones are horrible and they stole me. I want to go home. Is Anti nearby to come get me today?”
bupine asked: anti isn't nearby, i'm afraid. anti's been experiencing... difficulties, since he stole your brother's magic. they're all ok, though. but anti can't find you.
Dok stares at you, his tongue darting out to wet his lips, and then retreating again. For a long time, he is silent.
“Well, then,” he whispers finally, his eyes glassy. “I will just have to escape on my own.”
Anonymous asked: Hey Magicians? Dok’s going to try to escape. I think he might pull a ‘Gain their trust first, then run’ tactic.
“Oh, dear,” sighs Hermann, and blesses himself, touching the small gemstone necklace on his breast. “I’m going to text Emmanuela. But hey, it would be good if he at least made an attempt at ‘gain their trust,’ so we could at least look after him. I do not want for him to go back to the demon, but if he does he should at least have a couple weeks of food and sleep and medicine and safety.”
Anonymous asked: You know what, Dok? Red and Dapper are separated as well and are probably closer to you than anyone else. Maybe try finding them first when you get out? They could really really use some medical help
“Oh, yes. Yes, then I could be with the others, and Red would tell me what to do so I don’t have to worry about if I’m making Anti happy or not! If I do what Red says, I won’t be in trouble. He will slap me around a little but Anti won’t! And I can look after Dapper! Yes, yes, that’s perfect, that’s wonderful news.”
hollenka99 asked: Not tonight, sorry. He's not close enough to get there that quickly anymore. I'm sure he'll come for you as soon as he knows where exactly you are. Do you know how far from the forest they've taken you? Either way, I bet it will be a few days tops.
Doktor rubs at his face. “I think we are back in a city, maybe still Lima. I can hear the cars sometimes, far away. But inside this place is very quiet. I don’t know anything about where I am or what this place is.”
pixie-in-trebleland asked: Dok, maybe the magicians can be of help to you. Maybe the better you behave, they'll be willing to talk to you about where they might think Anti is? He isn't in Peru anymore.
Doktor pauses, considering, scratching at his beard. “Maybe they know…”
hollenka99 asked: Doktor, buddy, I don't think escaping is a good idea. You will eventually get yourself lost and then how will Anti find you? He may be far away but he's going to find you soon. All he needs is a little time.
Dok tilts his head back and forth, frowning. His face is worn and very tired. Even he doesn’t know why he isn’t letting himself sleep anymore.
“I guess maybe I could just wait… I don’t know… they haven’t hurt me yet. Some of them do not like me, though. But they still do not hurt me.”
florenceisfalling asked: dok, you trust us, right? if you trust us, you'll trust them. please.
Dok stares at the floor and then up at you again, mouth pursed.
“I… I don’t know…”
His eyes water and he grits his teeth, closing his eyes. “Maybe this is just a test Anti set for me, and so far, I’m failing.”
whydoilovesomanyvillians asked: Anti had to flee the country with blue and trick. Tricks alright he misses you a lot um blue I'm pretty sure hes still dying but it's ok cause he woke up so that's a plus also noodle is good as well
“Blue is dying?” gasps Dok, and suddenly he is on his feet, though a wave of dizziness sends him crashing back down again. “Blue is - Blue - I have to go, I have to, no, no, no, please, please, please. I have to be there, who is looking after him! Anti needs me, Blue needs me, I want to see him, I want to see my big brother before he dies! My big brother looks after me, I need to be with him, I - ”
He stares at the door and clenches his fists, breathing hard, but even as he says it, he knows he is too weak to run away tonight, too sick and scared and tired and powerless, the weakest fighter in his family, nothing more than Anti’s Doktor, and now he can’t even be there to be what he’s supposed to be. The one thing he’s supposed to be. The defeat of it is cutting holes in his chest and he begins to cry, loud and earnest, wishing Trick and Blue would come to hold him. Fuck, he’s so tired. He staggers to his feet and lets himself crawl onto the mattress and drags the covers in tight around him, hiding under the blankets with you somewhere beside him, sparing you the sight of his face as he weeps.
cest-mellow asked: it’s not a test, dok. they’re trying to help you, trying to keep you safe. they haven’t hurt you, have they? just work with them. let them help.
“No, they haven’t hurt me,” he cries, trying to work with you, trying to hold himself together. “No, no, not hurting me, you’re right, I know, I just want to go home. I’m being stupid but that’s what I want, that’s what I want.”
bupine asked: henrik. please, please don't try to escape. you're a wanted criminal, remember? for all the terrible stuff anti's forced you to do? these magicians WILL keep you safe. we can promise it. you're safe here, ok? you're safe. you're safe and ok and being away from anti is what's best for you right now. we don't know where anti is anyway, but we know it's far away from here. you won't find them. please just stay here, at least for a little while, before trying anything.
“You promise,” he sobs out. “You promise, you promised. I’m going to remember that, okay? You promise me, they’re not going to hurt me. I’m trying to trust you, I am, I’m trying, you promise.”
spicydanhowell asked: dok, baby, no. he won't die. i promise. he's in the hospital and he's being taken care of. the staff won't even let him go home because they can tell how abused trick and blue have been. he's just very weak from losing his magic, and his eyes are damaged. maybe you should tell hermann that. maybe we can at least find out from the magicians what blue needs to heal.
Doktor shudders and pulls you a little closer, blinking at you. The redness in the whites of his eyes makes his irises extraordinarily blue; you could mistake him for his big brother casting magic.
“Won’t die?”
He snuffles and rubs at his weary nose, feeling weepy and pathetic, trying to straighten out again. “Oh, but he is ill. M-maybe I should tell someone…”
bupine asked: hey, magicians. can you promise not to hurt henrik? we've promised him you won't hurt him and if you do, he won't trust us anymore. and it's super important that he trusts us because we're the only people who can save him and his brothers, the only people who remember who he was before anti. please promise not to hurt him? also, but can any of you find any record of marvin (blue) in any records or anything? we know he was with you, and maybe proving it to henrik will help him trust you better
Hermann presses his hands over his heart, holding you on his lap. Something overwhelms his eyes.
For a moment, he can’t even speak, just opens and closes his mouth, and opens and closes his eyes, and tries to keep himself together, tries to express what he needs to express. He lets out a long, low sigh, and closes his eyes.
“How could we hurt him? How could we… how to explain?”
He stares off into the distance.
“When I first saw him, he was buying Christmas presents with you, do you remember?
“He was so thin and dirty and his clothes were all ragged. A little white man in the middle of the market, murmuring to his camera. He cried over a music box… a music box for his brother, sick back home. I didn’t think he seemed well at all. I followed him. I do not know, my friends… sometimes you can just see it that people need help. Do you think so? Or am I just being silly?”
He runs his fingers across his necklace morosely.
“I thought the red brother was the one making his life so hard. He gave orders, put his hands on the small of his back and sent him from place to place, and when they were together I could feel this great darkness inside of all of them. And then, when he noticed me, when he saw me on the bus, I felt it - I felt that he wanted to hurt me. I felt that he wanted to kill me. So we fought and I hurt him and he hurt me. But then when I won…”
Hermann groans, shaking his head, laughing at his own inability to express it, laughing at the tears in his own eyes.
“He was so scared. And you told me there was someone else, someone else who was hurting him. All three of them. And then all five of them. And they were nice, you said, you promised Genesis. They were good and kind and they loved each other. And the horrible power that it must have taken to beat so much hatred and violence and anger into that red man’s head… the hurt it must have taken, the control, the darkness… to make them all believe that they have to live this way, that this is alright…”
He shakes his head slowly and turns away from you.
“And then I held that man in my arms as he was dying in the water of the river as the forest burned.”
His voice is very soft. His voice has carried worlds upon it.
“No. I will not hurt him. We will not hurt him. We will not let any hurt come to him if we can help it. I swear. I want to see him well and happy. Or at least weeping over music boxes, si? Because that man, who was crying in the marketplace - that was the man who is still drawing breath beneath the great weight of the darkness. I would do anything for that person. I owe him that much. I could not save the others.”
Anonymous asked: It would be very good to ask the magicians, Dok. We don’t know what’s happening to Blue, and we can figure out from them.
Dok clutches at his shoulders, staring at the door.
“Maybe…”
He is afraid and very sleepy.
cest-mellow asked: why don’t you just let these magicians help you for a while, dok? let them feed you and keep you warm, otherwise you’re actually gonna get sick and weak, and if anti comes to get you and you can’t walk because you’re so exhausted and starving, it’ll be a mess. they won’t hurt you. if trick were here with you, would he want you to eat? sleep? be warm and feel safe? all of those things will come if you cooperate. you’ll see them all again soon. you’ll see trick soon. cooperate just for now
Hell, but he does want that. He does want someone to help him. He wants someone to feed him three hot meals a day and give him so many blankets he could drown in them and a real bed to sleep on like this one. He wants a nice safe friendly doctor to listen to his heart and check on all his old wounds and prescribe him something for the pain and the weakness and the malnutrition. He wants to sleep and then wake up and do what he chooses to do and then sleep some more, cozy and scheduled, eight or nine or maybe twelve hours a night, just to make up for time lost. He wants to admit to himself that he wants that.
He’s not sure he’s ready to do that, but there is one thing he can admit.
“Yeah, Trick would want that,” he mumbles.
When you can’t care for yourself, your twin cares for you.
“Trick wouldn’t want me to be so unwell when I could be eating… probably he is hungry and he would want me to eat, so at least one of us could be okay… Trick would want me to be okay.”
Slowly, he pushes the blankets off him, watching Hermann’s feet, still beneath the cracks of the door.
“Maybe I can try to cooperate just a little.”
For your sake. Maybe. Maybe he will even get some sleep tonight, holding you to his chest.
Maybe no one here will hurt him after all.
End Section Two of Chapter Three: Lost
15 notes
·
View notes