#theres a lot of dad talk lately

[sludgeguzzler]

someones really out here lighting fireworks at 2:37am. girl what are you doing

[pathomannia]

Idola is basically made up of all strings. From people native to this world, to the magic they use, it's all basically invisible lines that connect everything.

Any effective magic user can feel the strings out to use them, some who may descend from those outside of Idola, have the chance of being able to see them. While those who are from outside Idola are more likely to see them, it's only someone who is from Idola who's able to use those strings or interact with them.

The only real exception is if someone from the outside is brought back. Now technically being made up of the same stuff as everyone else.

Bianka is unique, just a bunch of knotted-up pieces of magic that piled up for generations and generations, as well as the bonds from being passed through many hands.

Magic is done through pulling or knotting up the strings, depending on the intent of the user. Bigger spells require more complicated knots, but they'll linger as long as someone isn't able to reach in and pull it loose.

Right now, there's really only three people in my situated lore that are able to see strings? There's Hallen and Bianka's dad, Silas, who's dad was pulled into Idola. Hallen, who was an unfortunate victim to being pulled in at a young age, and only was able to assimilate and use magic herself because of her father's actions of bringing her back to life. And then there's Hallen's son, who is also Silas. Named after his grandfather, he inherited his mother's ability to see strings, which is what nurtured his fascination for magic. (As well as occasional stories about his grandfather)

I go back and forth whether or not B can see them, since she was created by those strings, not by people. But she is also a product of Idola, with no outside influence.

[despite-everything]

hold on im sadposting

okay this is depressing but i cant get it out of my head. my closest friends have been asking me for a while to be honest and open about my mental health stuff, but i really only started sharing what its actually like recently. and then they got super worried and invested and then they inadvertently triggered and had to witness one of the worst ptsd attacks ive had in years and now things feel so strained. i reached out and explained what happened and why, as well as more details about what was going on that they didn't understand, as well as advice for how to help in the future. it was so fucking hard to do but they replied that they appreciated it and love me and all that. but both of them are leaving town this weekend and havent seen me since the incident, and we texted briefly once or twice and they said they'd figure out when to see me this week before they leave, but didn't. i reached out again today because i'm more schedule-oriented than they are, but no response. so there's only 2 days where they could possibly see me now (due to my work schedule) and i'm doubting it's going to happen. and then both of them will be out of town for a week, then we have a week and a half of classes left, so i probably won't see them much. then it's winter break, and i'll be alone again for several weeks. they said they'd like to go on a trip with me, but haven't confirmed anything at all so i think i'm going alone (i'm not shocked by that one - i was doing the trip anyway and figured they'd enjoy it, but i also didn't get my hopes up). and the thing is that they're good people. but ive lost friends before when they learned what i'm really like, and i think it might be happening again. i try so hard to get better but the fact is that ive spent my entire life sad. like some of my earliest memories are of hiding away and crying. and ive been in and about of treatment since 2008. i want to be optimistic, but my dad has told me he's felt this way for more than 40 years, and i'm scared that's going to be me too. the best i've felt in years was in the rainforest, and even then, the anxiety was lifted but i was so sad i could cry at any moment. i don't like living like this! i dont! and i do try so fucking hard to be better and do better. but i think my friends aren't going to be able to handle having a friend like me and i feel like i've fucked up years of work on building a close and healthy friendship by being fucking insane.

[that-jack-kline-bestie]

.

[anachronistic-falsehood]

the crippling existential dread is getting to me

[jeansplaytoy]

‘ 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐘 .

part four !

part three here. > if u didn’t read it. no proof read , sorry for the wait 😣 this parts kinda boring butttt i gotchu later.

you were confused. really confused.

“what’re you doing at my window?” you whispered after opening it. “can you let me in? this ladder ain’t that sturdy.” armin muttered, glancing down.

you glanced back at your door and sighed, shaking your head and stepping back to let armin in. you went over to your door and locked it. “you should be happy we’re friends, because if we weren’t-“

“i know. i know.” armin mumbled, stumbling through the window and closing it behind him. he placed his backpack to the side and sat on the edge of your bed. “fuck.” he whispered to himself, resting his face in his hands.

“you okay? what happened?” you frowned a little and stood in front of him.

“what doesn’t happen at that dumbass house?” armin mumbled, laying back on your bed. you pursed your lips together. “was it your dad?” he looked at you. “hell yeah. it’s nobody else but him.”

you didn’t know much about armin, or learn much about him that night, other than the fact that his dad was a complete asshole and his mom was basically helpless when it came to him.

“you know.. theres not a lot i can say about the situation. but i think you need to talk to somebody about that. because it goes left.”

“tryna get me killed?”

“i’m tryna help.”

armin scoffed. “yeah, ‘cus telling somebody that my dad got physically with me is gonna help.”

“i didn’t know that.”

he stayed quiet after your statement. you couldn’t do anything but sit beside him and stare at the wall. “ion wanna involve you in nothing but…. you think i can stay here?"

you frowned. "what? are you… dumb?"

"no. or i would've ran away by now. but im asking someone thats actually willing to help."

"how do you know if im willing to help?"

"you cant say no."

you smacked your lips. "armin, you really piss me off sometimes. but i’ll help, just because i don’t want you to get in trouble or sum shit.” you stared at him with bored eyes. “but we gotta keep this a secret. if you’re gonna stay here, you have to stay in my room, unless you wanna go home.”

“believe me, i don’t.” he yawned.

as you looked at armin, you couldn’t help but notice the small bruise forming on his collarbone. “is he always like that?”

you could tell the question surprised armin, like he didn’t know you were gonna even bother to ask more about what him and his dad had going. but he answered anyway.

“he never got physical as in punching and shit like he did today. but ion really care.”

“well you should care because that’s not something a dad does.”

“well it’s something my dad did so what.” armin sat up and looked at you. “just because your dad doesn’t do that to you means my dads not gonna do it to me?”

“i never said that.” you stared blankly at armin.

he started back before resting his eyes. “right.” he muttered before standing up and reaching in his backpack. “there’s a shower in this room? or i gotta risk going out?” he looked at you. “there’s a shower in here, but make it quick. it’s already late, and my moms knows i don’t shower late.” you said.

armin nodded in response, taking his clothes in the bathroom. he stopped at the door. “is there men’s soap in here?”

you looked at him for a second.

-

“you fuckin serious?”

you couldn’t even get your words out from how long you were laughing at how armin smelled.

“you smell like a babyyy.” you said, wiping the tears that formed from laughing so hard. he basically used your soap instead of whatever soap you told him to use.

so there he was, standing there with shorts on, no shirt, pursing his lips together at how awkward it was.

“it’s literally not even a problem armin. you used my soap, i didn’t tell you to do that.” you shrugged as you got up to get your clothes ready for a shower. “you’re annoying.” he raised his eyebrows and sat down on your bed.

“well you’re gonna be here for a while, so you might as well get used to it.” you poked his head.

as time passed of you showering, armin looked around your room.

“peculiar ass room.” he mumbled, standing up to look at your dresser for things to cure his boredom.

you had random things on your vanity, like a random journal that he didn’t really care for looking in. or he did, he just didn’t wanna invade your privacy. and then random little glass figures like angels and stuff.

as his eyes glanced over almost everything, he picked up a bottle of perfume. he opened it and smelled it, it smelled good. like you, most of the time you were together. but as he shook it he saw it was almost gone. he bummed and put it back down.

then there was a picture. looked like you as a chubby little toddler. and someone else. armins eyes softened. he knew what he was thinking. he just didn’t wanna ask. yet.

that was until you walked out of the steamy bathroom, sighing loudly. “i’m done. after boiling for forty minutes.” you mumbled, waving yourself to cool off. he didn’t look up until you went over to him. “whatcha lookin at?”

“who’s this?” he pointed.

you tilted your head before raising your eyebrows. “that’s my dad.” you said, staring at the picture. “what happened?”

you thought about it. what did happen? “my mom ran him off. but she tells me he left because he didn’t want anything to do with a kid anymore.” you muttered while turning around to lay across your bed.

“fucked up.” armin said, picking up the frame. he looked at it. it looked like there were more pictures underneath. as he took the main picture out, smaller ones started to fall out. like little polaroids and cut outs.

“ain’t then when we was little or sum?” he held up another picture for you to see. “why’re you looking at those?”

“cause you’re life’s more interesting than mine.”

“so.”

“so tell me about it.”

part 5 soon.

[mooooonnnzz]

Hi moonie darling 🫶 hope you’ve been doing well!

Can I request a lo’ak relationship headcanons ? The ones you did for neteyam are so cute and dreamy 🥹 I was wondering how you’d interpret a relationship with that troublemaker 😚 thank you in advance and good luck with the blog 💙

The Perfect Pair // Lo’ak x GN! Reader

❀ You and Lo’ak’s relationship headcanons <3

♡ Content: WARNING mentions of scars and picking at them, just a lil heads up!! angst but barely enough to ruin your day FLUFF lo’ak and reader are very cute shy lo’ak bc i love him being shy BUT HES SHY JUST FOR A LIL BIT

♡ WordCount: 1k

♡ Quicknote: sorry for taking absolutely forever to post this 😭 i have gotten bad writers block and i’ve been in some weird mood slump lately BUT I FINISHED IT SO HERE YOU ARE <33 hope you like it 🫶 and thank you for the luck, you’re very kind ❤️

expect to patch up this poor boy 24/7

there isn’t a day where he doesn’t come to you, honoring a new scratch on his body from his reckless behavior 

and it’s not like he does it on purpose 

he doesn’t mean to always get hurt, he just doesn’t think about the consequences until he’s actually facing them

“Lo’ak!” You rushed towards the boy who was staggering over to you, his hand clutching his injured arm. “What happened?!” Your eyes examined his body, your heart stopping at the large red gash on his side. Lo’ak uncovered his arm with a shaky hand, hissing at the blood that stained his palm. “I tried to do tricks with my Ikran and you know where that got me.” He said defeatedly, his head hanging low. “Let’s deal with those injuries, okay?” You grabbed onto his arm that wasn’t hurt and brought him inside the tent. He sat down on the floor, groaning in pain when he moved a certain way that strained his body. Scouring the tent, you picked up some healing ointments, healing paste, a cloth and medical gauzes that were gifted to you from the scientists. You sat next to Lo’ak, facing his side. “Can you lean to the left for me?” You ask, popping open the ointment. Lo’ak leans to the side, a few grunts and groans leaving his lips. “This’ll sting.” You warn, pouring a good amount of ointment on the cloth. “I know, you tell me that all the—SHIT!” He curses, sucking in a deep breath through clenched teeth. “Lo’ak!” You smacked his upper thigh with your free hand, using the other one to lightly tap on his wounds with the cloth. Lo’ak pressed his lips together and screwed his eyes shut. “I wonder what goes through your head when you do this.” You say, wrapping the gauze around his waist. “Nothing.” Lo’ak replies, laughing at his own joke. “What a shocker.” You plainly said, moving to the next cut. 

i’d like to say he has a lot of scars on his body

and he doesn’t really mind them, until his mom started pointing them out

theres frown on her lips as she talks about how reckless lo’ak is 

she even shows them to jake, who just either stares with disapproval in his eyes or says something along the lines of “well, what can you expect? the boy doesn’t even use his brain.” or “how can you expect him to care for his own well being when he can’t even think right.”

from then on, he started hating the scars on his body

he hated the unwanted attention he’d get from his mom, especially when she brings over his dad 

you comfort lo’ak whenever he falls into his hole of self hatred 

Lo’ak sat by the pond, fingernails scratching one of his scars. A habit he developed when he no longer thought the scars that littered his skin were cool. A ripple broke through the still surface of the pond. He didn’t have to look around to know that it was you. Sitting right beside him, you pressed a kiss to his temple. “What’s up?” You ask, your tail wrapping around him to provide a little bit of comfort. Lo’ak dug his nail into his scar, his eyes glaring at the white ragged skin that stretched to his mid forearm to his elbow. “My scars.” He grumbled. “I hate them.” He started picking at it. “Stop, you are going to make it worse.” You grabbed his hand, halting his movements. “You liked your scars, what happened?” You watched with worried eyes as Lo’ak sighed. “My mom always points them out and the look that she gives me makes me feel like shit.” His ears tucked behind his head. “And sometimes, she brings my dad over to look at them. As if my moms looks weren’t enough, my dad doesn’t hold back to insult me.” His bottom lip begins to tremble and your heart cracks. “I just do not know why they look at me like—like they’re ashamed of me!” He sniffs, roughly wiping the tears that were threatening to escape his eyes with his arm. “I hate crying.” He muttered grimly, tucking himself into a ball. “It is good to cry,” You begin softly, hand coming to caress Lo’ak’s back. “And you are not a disappointment.” You say with such certainty that Lo’ak almost believes it himself. “How are you so sure?” He looks at you, awaiting your answer. You started listing off all the wonderful qualities Lo’ak has, like how he’s so strong and doesn’t take no for an answer, how he doesn’t back down and never gives up, how he’s so annoyingly persistent with things and is curious about everything. As you said more and more things about Lo’ak, the more you saw him visibly perk up. It was like you rebuilding the broken pieces, slowly but surely with care, you made Lo’ak whole again. Lo’ak sniffed, rubbing his eye with his fist. “Thank you.” He mumbled, snuggling closer to you. 

LO’AK IS VERY SHY WHEN IT COMES TO PDA

like he’s blushing a whole ton when you hold his hand around his family

and just kissing his cheek?? he’s on the floor hyperventilating 

you love messing with him because his reactions are priceless

“Lo’ak.” You call out. He turns his head over to you, raising a brow. You lean towards him and kiss him on the cheek. “I love you.” You said against his skin, smooching him one last time before leaning back. Eyes intently watching him to see his reaction. As always, his ears rear back to his head and there’s a bright blush tinting his cheeks. “Oh.” He squeaks, his eyes are casted downwards and he can’t even look at you without stuttering. “Why are you so nervous?” You teasingly asked, tail whipping behind you playfully. “Because you! I—You…Ugh.” He runs a hand down his face, dramatically sighing. “What’s wrong, Lo’ak?” You wrap your arms around his back, pulling him closer to you. “Y/N!” He whines.

THOUGH WHEN HES SURE NOBODY IS WATCHING

hes hugging you close to him and latching onto you like a koala 

LIKE IS THIS THE SAME GUY WHO WAS NERVOUS TO LITERALLY HOLD YOUR HAND?? 

“Can you let go of my arm?” You politely asked, looking down at Lo’ak, who had your arm clutched in his hold. His head comfortablely resting on your shoulder. “Nope!” He says with a devious grin. “Lo’ak, I have to go.” Trying to remove him from your arm is a lost cause, might as well chop it off so Lo’ak could have it for himself. Giving up, you lean on Lo’ak. He makes a happy noise and clings himself closer to you.

and hes begging for your kisses, or he’s kissing you 

Lo’ak is covering your face in a mess of kisses. “Lo’ak!” You giggled out, hands finding purchase on his shoulders. You pushed him away from your face, still feeling his kissing ghosting your face. “Too much.” You huff out loudly. Lo’ak rolls his eyes and puckers out his lips. You’re preparing yourself for another round.

later on into the relationship he gets better with pda

he isnt afraid to show that he loves u 🫶🫶

“Is Lo’ak actually holding their hand?” Kiri’s eyes are wide from her shock. She hides her grin with her palm. “No way.” Neteyam is equally as shocked. They watch Lo’ak pull you in for a sweet kiss in horror. “What is that thing Dad said earlier?” Neteyam asked, voice raspy as if someone sucked his voice out. “He finally became a man.” Kiri whispered out. Cringing as she watched you and Lo’ak cuddle with each other. 

If you want to be added to my taglist dm or comment me! + request are open <3

Taglist: @writingsbybirdie @tzurue @lokisblueskin @niawritesbs @yoluvrz @kenzs-world @neteyamsmate4life @froglogblog @wondxrgurl

[starfxkr]

have been thinking a lot about loser rafe lately.. i think its so interesting that in fics he’s consistently written as mister popular everyone knows him all the girls want him but like. if you look at canon theres not actually a lot of evidence until season 3 but i have thoughts on that this is a long one lets get #meta

season one the only people he hangs out with/talks to are topper kelce and barry and barry didnt even fuck w him like that he was still just the plug 😭 hes selling coke at that party but who do we see him talking to besides the drunk/high girls that are all over him because he has well. coke! i feel like season one is the best representation of his social status on the island because its really the only window we have into what their normal lives looked like before everything snowballed with the gold and tbh nothing about him was giving king of kildare

season two bro is going through a lot the only person who fucks with him is barry and he like kind of talks to topper even though they clearly dont like each other because who else does he have to talk to? hes clearly been ostracized to some degree by his peers because yeah he was cleared and released but he was ARRESTED. IN RELATION TO A MURDER. and all the mess with his dad like its a small island everybody knows everybodys business and tbh i dont even think just that would be enough to justify him being so entirely alone. rich white kids do not have morals. we’ve seen rich white men that have done worse and actually been convicted/held accountable assimilate back into their respective communities with ease and i think the same would have happened to rafe if he already had the clout for it but he clearly doesn’t but you know who does? SARAH. she comes back from everything in s3 and all her old kook peers are quick to welcome her back in hungry for details about everything she’s experienced. now rafe.. we see him getting drunk alone at the country club in the middle of the day like oh thats not

now season three yeah he comes back to kildare he wants to be a real man like his daddy blah blah blah he takes over tannyhill and throws that big party but he has. no friends. i dont even mean close friends bc duh but he comes back and theres not even a oh shit rafe’s back like his revival actually made no noise thats soooooakslskjskdld you cannot tell me that all the people at that party were not 90% tourons 10% nosy locals 100% people just looking for free liq and a sick party these are not rafes peers from season one

tldr i think on the surface its really easy to see the boxes rafe checks off (rich young hot popular sister etc) and assume that everybody wanted him or to be him and everybody writes him like that but im gonna touch your hand when i say this . he is a loser. if rose thought he was weird as fuck from when he was 10 years old i’m sure everyone else on the island could smell it too. i need more people to write rafe as sarah’s weird mean friendless bitchless Not Quite Right older brother LOOK AT THE MATERIAL

THANK YOU THANK YOU I CONSISTENTLY SAY BARRY IS RAFES ONLY REAL FRIEND

like i say this all the time but rafe is really fuckin weird and off-putting. there's this sense that he's kinda...wearing human skin. like he's moving around barely able to contain his worst impulses and everyone can like sense that? rafe has always been not quite right and he's not very good at hiding that either.

like everything rafe does seems off, and you make such a good point about him not being able go back into the fold properly makes sense if you peel back the layers and see he wasn't really well liked to begin with? topper was way more popular than rafe and in many was rafe and topper are only friends because of sarah and even then rafe is weird about using topper as a means of control over her.

but yeah you summed it up perfectly rafe doesnt give kook king forreal hes a weird, friendless loser who can barely hide his true self in public.

[turnin9pag3]

sigh.

i think im a james potter kinnie in the most shameful way possible because yes i relate to being social and having lots of friends but more than that i relate to feeling like you’re constantly doing either too much or not enough and people lose interest in me and i feel like shit because what did i fuck up but then i go and loose interest when i know its not that persons fault i just cant help myself but to hate everyone because i hate myself. and like james im too loud all the time so much so that when i finally decide to be quiet i have people shoving their concerns down my throat and i dont know how to appreciate it when all i want is to be left alone. lately ive been feeling like there something misplaced in me because all i want is to spend my last week of school with my friends and be happy and enjoy my time but all i can think about is i dont want to be here and i dont want to be touched and i dont want to see these people because these people keep talking and my head hurts and my eyes hurt and im feeling dizzy and none of this looks real anymore and im not sure what to do with myself anymore. and i would hate to hurt their feelings because its truly not their fault but like i said theres something wrong with me. i think im just a rotten soul and im fucked up in way unknown to most. as james would, i feel judged after everything i say and i feel ridiculed for every decision i make and i feel like they dont want to listen to me at all they just keep me around to have someone for themselves and a part of me knows thats not true but the larger part of me wont let me fully believe that. and i feel like james in the way i dont know how to do anything casually and i love with my entire soul but i hate with my entire soul too and when im in something im fully in. and its such a fault to have because i like people more than people like me all i just end up hurting myself because as much as i tell myself im not i think i still like that one guy from august and my miss my best friend when i cant call her that anymore and the girl ive known since 2nd grade is barley answering my texts and summer is coming i feel like everyone is going to forget about me and what if i forget about everyone and i dont want to be forgotten. and i feel like james because i feel overbearing when i ask to hang out with people and annoying. and i feel like im being made fun of every time i speak and i have to pretend that it doesnt bother me but it does. and im like james because all i want is someone to talk to and thatll listen to me but i know how hard it is to stay attentive when i talk because i talk so much about stuff no one cares about and i try to hide it but it hurts more than id like to admit because everyone cares about what they have to say and i sit and i listen but when i talk they leave the room or change the topic or turn up the music or outright tell me they dont care. joke or not it hurts. like james i spent most of my childhood being told im too loud or too intense or talk too much or too chaotic or too dramatic or talk too fast and like james i think no matter how much confidence i fein in my teen years ill never grow away from the 6 year old girl that everyone called a psycho because she had emotions too big that she didnt know how to deal with yet and they wernt her fault. it wasnt her fault she got her dads anger issues and tendencies to scream or her mothers ability to feel everything twice as strong as she should. and now im 15 and its still not my fault but ive suppressed it so far im not 100% sure how to feel that deeply anymore.

[ldr-coded]

crave

vergil x reader smut

uh first time writing on here, and first time writing fic in like years lmao. sorry if this is bad T^T

contains: smut, vergil ofc, cunnilingus, sexual intercourse, fingering, unprotected sex, creampie, dom vergil/sub reader i guess, female reader, readers pronouns not specified i think,

since the moment you laid eyes on the man you've had an insatiable lust for him. the yearning, the craving, the warmth between your thighs. no matter how hard you tried it was irrevocable. to put it simply, you had never wanted to fuck a man so badly. no, vice versa, you wanted him to fuck you. you wanted to be his, you wanted him to make you feel good, you wanted to be his pleasure, his toy, you wanted him to dominate you. your cunt grew hot at just the thought of it.

but you couldn't have him. it just wasn't right, right? nero is your close friend, you can't just fuck his dad. and dante is like a brother to you. how would he react if you fooled around with his actual brother? and it wasn't just that, i mean how would others feel? vergil was a bit older than you for sure. a sweetheart like you with a guy like him? all these factors should just be deterring you, but the longing for him just couldn't stop.

I mean who could blame you? his beautiful, slicked back, soft, silver hair that you just wanted to run your fingers through. the same hair that you wanted to tug while he commits unspeakable acts to you. his tall 6'5 (196cm) frame complimented by his gorgeous, sculpted, strong body. you could trace your fingers over his abs all day long. his piercing blue eyes, his perfect jaw, his unique voice that was simply addicting. and to most it might not seem like it, but you two actually had a lot in common. frankly, everything about this man was irresistible to you.

it had been like this for awhile now. the amount of thoughts you had about him had become vexing, but no actions yet unfortunately. until one fateful night. it was late, dark out, and everyone else was out on missions and such. except you and vergil. it was the perfect opportunity for you know what. and it was driving you nuts. the skin of your lip was peeling and slightly bloody from your incessant biting at it. you kept squeezing your thighs together for the ever so slight amount of pleasure that friction brought you. a bead of sweat dribbled down your back, it wasn't even hot in the room, it was chilly actually. but something else was hot if you know what i mean. vergil sat on the couch reading a book. you couldn't make out which book it was from where you were, the desk. not to mention the cover seemed rather vague.

your mind darted back in forth with the possibility of striking up a conversation with him. perhaps you could discuss the book he's reading? a feeling of anxiety washed over you at the prospect. who were you kidding? you had a big fat crush on him and you're too shy to do anything about it. the thought of sparking up some sort of small talk like that with him made you cringe. this overwhelming sense of embarrassment you had from your feelings of him gnawed away at you. it was so frustrating.

your eyes blankly stared at the generic magazine page in front of you. you weren't actually reading it at the moment, just gazing at it while lost in thought. the room was rather quiet. the faint ticking of a clock, the jukebox softly playing music at a low volume, the occasional flicking of a page, the pattering of rain on the windows and roof, thunder every now and then, so on. eventually this quiet atmosphere was broke by a voice.

"theres no need to try and hide your concupiscence. i can see right through you." vergil utters as he peers up at you from his book.

"what?" your reply is meek, your voice is shaky, your face is red. are you dreaming?

"y/n," he pauses and sighs for a moment before continuing, "i can tell your horny." your eyes widen at his blunt words. you've been caught, you feel like you've lost any and all chances with him, you can feel your heart dropping with the humiliation. what the hell do you do now?

"i'm not exactly sure what you mean. i'm just fine." your voice still shakes slightly even when you try to keep it cool and steady.

he scoffs at your evident lies.

"really now? but what if i were to tell you i feel this way too? what if i told you i want to dick you down right here and right now?" he replies smugly, a small smirk appearing across his mouth. you were too shocked to say anything as your face grew beet red. you simply gulped as your eyes stared down at your lap.

"y/n i see the way you look at me."

shit.

"but i'd be lying if i said i didn't look at you the same way. however, i will say i try to keep it less apparent." your eyes darted from your lap to his eyes instead, you begun to calm yourself for his confession cooled the red hot embarrassment that was engulfing you just a moment prior.

"i'm not sure what to say.." you respond in a some what hushed tone.

"actions do speak louder than words you know." he says with an audible smirk, "and i think it's clear that we're both well, lusting for each oth-" you cut him off before he can finish.

"please just shut up and fuck me already" you say in a desperate and breathy voice.

neither of you hesitate at this opportunity, you quickly stand up from your seat as he gets up from the couch. he hastily snakes his arms around your waist and pulls you into a rough kiss, your arms encircle his neck. you could feel the passion surging through his lips, his tongue skillfully exploring every bit of your mouth before you could even realize. he picks you up and carries you over to the couch without even breaking the kiss. your mouth grew hot, your face became warm too, your whole body grew fiery, your cunt was searing.

as the two of you plop down on the couch you speedily begin to straddle his waist. you could feel his rock hard boner prodding at you as it protruded from his lap. without even looking at it you could tell how tight it made his pants from the massive bulge. you rolled your hips against his, the friction of his clothed cock against your clothed cunt felt amazing.

this kissing seemed to never stop. neither of you dared to pull away. mouths smashing together in desperation. you moan into his kiss, he digs his tongue deeper into you. finally you two pull away from each other, a string of saliva connecting your softly panting mouths.

you and him made quick work of each others clothes. he rapidly latched his mouth to your nipples as you took off your bra. this was of course after suckling on your neck, collarbone and jaw first. he placed his hand on the small of your back as he laid you down on the smooth leathery couch.

"fuck, vergil i need you" you whined as he kissed you all over.

"well first, lets take care of you, darling"

his kisses on your chest slowly begun to trail down to your absolutely dripping and sappy cunt as he dexterously spread apart your legs and hoisted them on his shoulders. he begun to lap up all the sticky juices oozing from you like a man starved. swirling his tongue around your clit like its his last meal. he plunges two of his rough calloused fingers into your aching heat, causing you to unleash a quite unholy moan. the in and out thrusting out his digits, his tongue suckling and swishing around your throbbing clit. it was almost embarrassing how quickly he brought you to your orgasm. however the string of loud, squealing and whiney moans that followed were truly the embarrassing part.

the two of you are still panting when he sets your legs back down on the couch. he lustfully gazed at you as he plants his hands down next to either side of your head. you stare into his eyes back, your eyes full of desire. sexual desire. you could cum twenty times, two hundred times, two thousand times to this man and still always crave more. he began to prepare himself at your still dripping entrance. his cock so hard and needy it burned.

"you ready?" he asked intently. you stared down at his cock in amazement, it was the biggest you'd ever seen honestly.

"do i even need to answer?" you responded playfully.

without hesitation his dick rammed into you and he lets out a grunt of pleasure, and you couldn't help but moan of course. before you knew it he was relentlessly pounding into you. thrusting like theres no tomorrow. the sound of skin against skin sounded like it could be heard from miles away, especially with his balls smacking against you as his cock bottomed out in your heat. the couch was violently rocking, it felt like the whole damn building was shaking. your moans were non stop, his whimpers and grunts sounded like heaven to you. any words you said was just a babbling mess at that point as he was fucking you senseless. he buried his face into the crook of your neck, whispering sweet nothings, honeyed words and praises into your ears.

you begun to rapidly approach your what, 3rd? 4th orgasm? you weren't even keeping track. vergil made sure to make you cum a ton before he could. he wanted you to feel as much pleasure as possible. but eventually he began to reach his own orgasm. his thrusts became sloppier and finally he came all in you. you could feel his white hot sperm spewing out of him into you, eventually filling you up and pooling out your entrance, his cock still in you.

he didn't even pull out before he kinda just collapsed on you. you couldn't care though. the feeling of him filling you up was heavenly.

even though you finally got what you wanted, you still craved more. so so so much more.

[culturalmochiart]

Your secret identity AU has plagued my mind so harshly-

I want so many details on it (also your art is fucking GORGEOUS and yummy)

~A-Anon

THANK YOU!!!!! OOOO okay okay umm hmmm

I haven’t drawn it in a while, admittedly but lemme try and write down the general timeline. It’ll get a bit long so I’ll do a read more PLUS there will be spoilers for the whole au down under :)

So it’s like pilots/season 1 era, after saving Nya, her and Kai go back to their shop, Jay lives with his parents, Zane stays at the monastery, and Cole probably camps around nearby since he can’t go home.

Zane is the first to reveal his identity, figuring he doesn’t remember anyone from his life, so he can’t put anyone in danger. Wu is a little annoyed his student disobeyed, but he sees Zane’s logic and knows he meant well. Things continue on, feelings start to develop, and the timeline starts to move.

The ninja will occasionally interact while in civvies, but again, they don’t know who is who so they interact differently than when under the mask. Kai thinks jay is annoying and doesn’t like him spending so much time around Nya but he LOVES blue and thinks his same jokes and mannerisms are silly. After the reveal of Zane, he starts tutoring Nya which Kai feels soooooo normal about. Jay goes from having a crush on Nya to becoming her best friend, as they have late night talks and both discover maybe they don’t feel romance in the typical way, and definitely not for each other. Poor Cole is just hanging out in the woods :(

Things skip to around Home and Snakebit, Zane finding the bounty is just as angsty but more so bc it’s stretched over a few days, and he misses his tutoring sessions with Nya which worries THE HELL out of all of them. Wu likely stays with Kai and Nya, Kai telling her his home burned down and he needs a place to stay for the moment. I imagine they see the falcon flying around and follow him to the bounty, where Zane is waiting with a meal for them :]

Jay is revealed next in snakebit! He’s a mamas boy and tells his parents everything, and they’re supportive!! So they don their most clever disguises and go for a visit!! They’re so excited to see their boy they call him by name, so oops!! They get to meet Jay AND his parents!! Kai breaks for a while bc the guy he likes is also the guy he dislikes, and he’s weird for a while until he notices Jay doing the same cute things he did as Blue and

When Jay visits Kai and Nya next, Kai is a lot more civil if not a little embarrassed.

In the snake king, Kai learns Nya is Samurai X, and she ALSO learns Kai is one of the ninja. He keeps the others’ identities secret because it’s not his place to tell her.

We eventually get to tick tock, Zane regains his memory and unlocks his true potential, but he’s a little more sad after, because now he knows theres no one out there looking for him. He falls into the comforting embrace of his teammates. In once bitten twice shy, instead of confessing to Nya, Jay confesses to Cole, Kai, and Zane. This is when they start dating!!

Cole is next!! He’s revealed during his true potential episode. Instead of having his teammates help him win the cup, he decides to go at it alone but in some way or another, the others decide to join in and help him win. Cole reveals himself backstage after the concert when he confronts his dad, and Pythor, seeing that one of the ninja’s parents is in the open and vulnerable, takes his chance to drop all of the equipment onto Cole and Lou. They’re okay of course, but it ended up being quite the scare.

Kai is last to his potential AND his reveal. He knows Nya is capable and that she can handle herself in danger, but the incident with Cole and his dad has him afraid for what Pythor could do to her, his only baby sister. He’s also nervous that if they knew the true him, they wouldn’t like him as much as they do now. All his fear causes him to distance himself from his boyfriends, he loves them deeply, but the danger of it all makes him question whether he should keep being a ninja. All the fear and doubt and his rush to reach his true potential is a very bad combo of feelings that culminate in the volcano with Lloyd.

He feels that he can prove himself worthy of being green ninja and that he’s good enough for his bf’s by getting the fangblade, bc if not for him being special, what the point of keeping him around? Idk it’s a lotta self doubt like in the actual show but gayer.

He hears Lloyd call out to him, realizes what’s truly important, and reaches his true potential. Everyone is waiting on the ship with bated breath as the volcano explodes, too shocked to feel any emotion at the moment. And then they emerge!! In a ball of fire, Kai and Lloyd land on the deck. Maybe the lava caught his mask, maybe his fire subconsciously burned it away, but Kai is revealed in all his blazing glory to the shock and awe of his boyfriends.

Lloyd runs to his dad, and Kai is dog piled by his boys, green ninja stuff happens, and that’s basically the end!! I’m sure I didn’t include every little detail but this is basically the gist!! :]

An older doodle for u too <3

[cassied03]

Okay so to the two people who said they would listen/read my ideas, this is for you two before i go to sleep and expand on a later date.

•So for galra keith I would definitely think that he had a lot more galra traits then the show gave him.

• For example his nails were typically stronger and grew in a curved shape

• For another example, his hair was naturally a dark/deep purple but his first foster family after his dads death dyed it black thinking keith had dyed it young to the purple color

• Speaking of purple, i would also think that his eyes were a deep dull purple/plum color

• moving to the scene where Krolia suggests the name Yorak, i personally think that Keiths dad would have included that in his name after she left earth

• so Keiths full name is "Keith Yorak Kogane"

•In terms of galra, he'd probably be seen as a late bloomer to the blade of marmora because he hasn't grown in his ears or tail, not knowing that his tail was surgically removed by one of his foster familys (theres a very rare chance of a human being born with a tail, and I think the tail wouldn't have grown much because the human body has evolved to not need a tail and half his biology was against the tail)

Now onto the good stuff, ergo the trans stuff

• i'd say he's transmasc who's known since he was a young boy, but that could also be me projecting, who knows

• my big thing was what about periods? because i know that everyones is different, i'd say his started at 15 give or take a few years, but before he ended up leaving earth

• With his period, because Galra most likely dont have anything quite as similar (based on cats, i suppose. With cats all their internal bleeding is reabsorbed), his periods would probably be very light as half his body (might/) will absorb the blood and the other half will shed it out.

• I'd say for the same reason he uses cloth pads, simply for the reuse ability and his light flow would have made it easy to clean

• i also head cannon that him growing out a mullet is the result of him shaving his hair at some point, and regaining enough confidence to grow his hair out while knowing that he could easily cut his hair if he felt dysphoric

• with the chest situation, it can go two ways. with the episode when keith and lance are going to the pool, Keith is shirtless, so that is a point to small-chested keith

• but we could also just, ignore that and pretend that he was in a compression shirt that was meant for trans people to swim in. because if there was shorts with them then im sure there was something for compression (ignoring how the alteans could shapeshift)

•One of my biggest head cannon when it comes to trans!keith, is that only Shiro knows, and that if they're ever overheard talking about it (like shiro lecturing keith about working out in a binder or something), everyone just completely misunderstands the conversation

Keith: Shiro it's fine (Shiro just said he can't work out safely in his binder)

Shiro: No it's not keith, you can't keep doing this. You know why. We're in space, you can't avoid the consequences anymore than you could on earth. (Shiro is talking about Keiths ribs, and how if Keith breaks a rib or something akin to that, then there is nothing in space that can help him as opposed to earth where at the very least he could have fixed his ribs)

Lance or Coran overhearing and thinking that it's just about keiths little pick pocketing habit (another head cannon): Huh, i didn't know Keiths been a pick pocketer when he was on earth.

Anyways, thats all i can come up with right this second, if i feel like i'm able to i'll expand on a couple of my head cannons / thoughts

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

How do you think Hobie feels about Miles and Gwen both having cops as parents? Is it like, "The police force should be disbanded and funds given to other departments" or is he straight up ACAB?

Hi, thanks for this because I think this is such an interesting question! Between 'Defund the police' vs 'ACAB' I think Hobie is more on the side of ACAB, but also a secret third thing.

Part of it is morality and beliefs. I think Hobie has some very informed ideas about punk, compassion, anarchy, anti-capitalism. I HC he's really well read, about anarchism, communism, socialism, etc. And when it comes to police, I imagine he has some qualms with the idea of policing in general, considering the VENOM cops in his world - but it's not just mindless hate, but a critique of society and police's role in it, regardless of funding. BUT.

The other part is trauma.

Hobie probably knows police brutality more than anyone. He regularly fights and saves people from fascists. While other Spideys may fear getting demasked or thrown in jail, Hobie is one who has the concern of genuinely being outright killed on sight if he gets caught.

So I feel a lot of it is trauma. In a 'you people are all sick in the head i hate cops and i wish they were all dead' kinda way.

Like, I wouldn't be surprised if he had nightmares about it. I could see him being quick to rage around cops almost as a defense mechanism. Seeing a cop and immediately going on defense, feeling uncomfortable, watching their moves, feeling tense, etc.

And sometimes it can maybe skew his lens and start to overshadow his truly meaningful talking points and political ideas.

And this extends to Gwen and Miles a bit. I figure that when Hobie first hears about Gwen's dad, in his head it deeply confirms his trauma and hate for cops. Even if Gwen wants to - and eventually does - reconcile with her dad, in the beginning Hobie would probably be thinking like 'fucking pig choosing the force over his daughter, what bullshit'.

When she tells him, he might even talk bad about her dad, and I could see her being a bit taken aback at this. Not in outright offense, but enough to gently defend her dad.

But Miles challenges this for him, especially since their first conversation, Miles speaks highly of his parents and how much they want for him.

This is amplified when Hobie can see how hard Miles is fighting for his dad. Hobie is all about loyalty and seeing Miles go to that length for his family would at least have an effect on him and his view of Miles' parents.

-

Overall, I could see Hobie starting off as biting his tongue in front of them, and kind of checking himself. Most likely staying out of the way or sticking by Gwen and Miles but not saying much. Just to keep the piece. If he's having a bad trauma day or had a run in with cops lately, at most he'd just put on headphones and mind his business.

He doesn't want to hurt Miles, and Miles is already trying to earn back the respect of his parents, same way Gwen is still patching things up with her dad. So I don't think he'd start taking the piss out of their dads at the start.

It's a good thing Officer Davis is so friendly. Hobie would probably be less talkative towards him at first, but after seeing how fatherly Miles' dad is - not just to Miles, but to him too - then that changes things a bit.

Cute thing is, here in New York goths and punks are very common, and theres active communities of both. Miles' dad probably wouldn't be put off of Hobie, and if anything he'd probably be interested or respectful of his style/views. He gets it, and still makes the attempt to talk to Hobie every once and awhile - it a mutual respect. Miles would really appreciate that.

With Gwen's dad, it's a work in progress. Gwen is kinda still doing her thing and patching things up - so I think at most he'd let her dad know that he's there, and that he's the one who looked out for Gwen. Not for a thank you or anything, but just to make a point that Gwen has a home regardless of what he pulls. But I can't imagine him having positive views of him.

He'd be happy Gwen is happy, but I feel like Hobie doesn't like you, it's really really hard to get him to change his mind.

—-

Thanks again for this!! This is such an interesting thing to think about so this is just my take cause i LOVE angst trauma hobi that turns it into loving kindness for his friends

[maochira]

HIIII im back!!

Sooooo... im a person who struggles with crying like- i can't whether i wanted to or not.

SOOO when im stressed i can't even cry to feel better ( cuz crying can release tension and stuff ) and generally im (kinda?) depressed in a sense where i feel numb, lonely and like theres a void in my chest.

( above is for example and kind of a vent😅 )

Basically, the request is coaches as dad listening to your feelings or thoughts abt feeling empty and (MAYBE??) wanting reader to see a psychiatrist/therapist?

Hi! I think I know very much what you feel like regarding the emptiness :'] (except that I cry a lot and very easily and my emptiness often comes with a pressure in my chest.) But please remember I usually don't like people venting in my inbox. I'm okay with this one tho because it connects to a comfort request so I see it more as an explanation than a vent <3 (but I don't want to encourage others to vent to me more in the future.)

Characters: Noa, Chris

Tags: gn!coach's child!reader, reader is a teenager, comfort

Noel Noa

-even though you haven't told him until now, he has noticed something's been off about you for a while

-he didn't think it was something serious because you inherited a big part of his personality regarding being rather cold

-so when you tell him about it, he's a little shocked to find out how bad you've been feeling lately and he feels guilty for not noticing it earlier

-he sits there for hours to let you talk about everything that's on your mind, but he realizes he can't help you enough

-so he decides to try to find a therapist for you. He knows waiting lists can be long, so on the next day he calls and writes emails to every therapist in the area and lets you be put on the waiting list

-and while you're waiting, Noa makes sure you know you can always talk to him. He also tries to be less cold so you can feel more comfortable about sharing your problems

Chris Prince

-he quickly noticed when you started to feel worse, but he decided to wait a bit just in case it gets better on its own

-he trusts you to talk to him as soon as you feel too bad, so to not pressure you, he doesn't ask you about it

-but he realizes you're only getting worse and still not telling him about anything, so he thinks you might be too afraid to open up

-Chris decides he has to be the one who approaches you about this, so he calmly asks you to be honest about how you've been feeling lately and he wants you to let him know as much as possible so he can help

-but the more you tell him about how you feel, the more he realizes you need professional help. So he asks if you want that and obviously you day yes

-Chris helps you to find a good therapist who is helpful to you. He always reassures you if you don't fully click with a therapist, you need to tell him so he can look for a new one

Taglist (sign-up link): @kaineedstherapy12 @zyuuuu @luvcalico @truegoist @vanitasbrainrot @toruden @mafuyudonutt @weichspuelertrinker @acacIa @chaosinanutshell @kermitslefteyeball11 @futuristicxie @bluelock4life @https-archangel @depressed-bitchy-demon @kaiserkisser @userwithlotsoftime @yellowelectroslime @0rah-s @deerangle3

[goatpaste]

id like to hear more of your thoughts on hato! shes my fav jojolion character and no one else talks ab her i love her sm

wAHH i love Hato I really really do love herrrrr

she's defiantly probably my fav character in that part which i know is a bit silly because she really didn't get as much screentime as a lot of others but i really just like what we did get of her. she's just delightful. i really wish we got more of her, in general but also in replace of Joshu. I would have love Hato and Yasuho friendship

then theres the part of me that reads too much into her!!! i know iv overanalyzed her but i did and it sits in me!

Hato rambling under the cut lol

This idea of her oldest daughter, but second oldest child. Her parents love her and her siblings but dad works on their family business and as much as mom never lets you forget she loves you, she clearly has subconsciously picked a favorite in your older brother. Theres something between them you could never have with your mother or brother. This special clique just between them. Then your mother is taken from the picture, your brother is older than you and even if she isnt there his best friend is mom, and its not long now that he's working with dad. You have a younger sister but the age difference is there and she's become quite the daddys girl as dad's stepped in to be both parents. So your left with the sibling closest to you in age, Jobin. He isnt great but you get to have your moments, but even then he's busy being self entitled and chasing some girl who doesnt want him around and constantly doing his own thing.

Despite all this your the odd man out in a house where everyone is the odd man out of each others relationships.

Some time goes by and you find out about your absent mom, and with that disconnection from everyone else, you don't say anything. You dont want to upset them, you simply have to digest the truth of the matter, the bond of your mother and brother. Your the oldest daughter, your not going to stir shit up. But you can't help but feel a bit of resentment toward the whole thing... maybe jealousy that it wasnt you? Its stupid to feel that way on the topic of the death of a child, but she missed out on having that connection with either of them.

Your considered silly and air headed, and you are you guess, you like to have fun and things escape you sometime. But your finding a nice well off boyfriend, the perfect first boyfriend to bring home to your family. Someone thats yours. Plus, shows everyone your a responsible adult who can have an adult relationship. You can step up you can be someone people rely on and trust, your going to be a good person who brings no trouble to your family. Your not your mother, your not your brother and your not going to let personal feelings lay harm.

Then despite all that, all that you've tried to do right backfires and you've put everyone in danger. Your misjudged and it caused everyone to get hurt. Maybe you are air headed..

All this business with these people trying to hurt her family, her mom back in the picture, jobin acting more distant from the family than ever before, falling back into this way with their mother, secrets just for them while you just have to sit and watch and stew in your own feelings.

... then their gone. It's all over and their gone, and your left with having resented your mother for the last years. But you dont hate her, well.. maybe you do. you just hated that she wasnt as attentive to you as you wanted. You hate that you couldn't have had a proper relationship with her or your brother and now it's too late.

But its not too late for family.

I love to picture after the events of Jojolion, Hato going on to pick up Jobins work. She steps up as the eldest child of the family and starts working closer with her dad, helping with the family business, as well as her and everyone else stepping up to help Mitsuba with Tsurugi and the new baby.

Hato finding some peace in the new flow of the family, through strengthening her bond to family finally, finding some sense of connection to the ones they lost through them.

miss growing pains!!

also this comic i love it soo much on twitter i think about it a lot with miss hato

[allexthakatt]

Do I Wanna Know?

Hiii! So I'm back, and I hope this is adequate cuz I just came up with this one in the middle of my shift and now I cannot stop thinking about it.

Warnings: ANGSTTTT! There might be a part 2 coming soon! I swear I tried to make this in one but this is getting reeeaaallly long and I've procrastinated long enough on posting this lol

----

School.

A place you never necessarily appreciated but went nonetheless, a place you really shouldn't be visiting anymore now that you've graduated.

There is one reason, however, that made visiting it daily worth it.

Eddie motherfucking Munson.

Your best friend since you were literal children. You've practically been through everything together. He's seen you at your worst and vice versa. Your best friend who holds you in his arms on your worst days. Your best friend who would be there for you no matter what.

Your best friend; and that's all he'll ever be.

Your feelings for him began in 8th grade, your mom and dad had officially announced their divorce. He'd been there by you as you cried, knowing your dad was leaving for good this time.

"Hey, hey, it's all gonna be okay. Okay? I know your mom isn't the best, but you'll always have me, right? I'm here, sweetheart. I'm here."

That whole night he tried his best to keep a smile on your face. Watching all your favorite movies, listening to your favorite albums, even going as far to let you paint his nails. (Something he'd been heavily opposed to before.)

It was that night you fell in love with him. That night you knew you could see the rest of your life with him.

Little did you know, he fell too.

-

Today was the day. The day you were finally going to tell Eddie how you feel. At this point in your friendship, it was only getting harder and harder to play pretend. Pretend you were absolutely smitten by this man.

There was once a time you'd been so sure you were going to get over him. So convinced that this was nothing but a school girl crush, it'd be over in a few weeks, you told yourself.

But then weeks turned to months, and months turned to years. Now, you're certain the long haired boy would be the death of you. It's the little things, you know? The way he looks at you, the long hugs that just friends really don't do, occasional hand holding, late night movie nights, not to mention the kisses you leave on his cheek every so often.

It was going to drive you mad if you didn't get this off your chest. Regardless on if he feels the same, he deserves to know your real feelings right?

...Right?

"Hey! I kinda need to talk to you at some point today when you get the chance?"

It was lunchtime, and while sure, you've been graduated for two years, no one tries to stop you when you come for lunch. So here you were.

"Yea, we can meet up in our usual spot after school if you want?" The nod of your head signals your agreement, butterflies blooming in your stomach as he looks at you. Then, he looks at the rest of the table before standing to his feet.

"I too, wanna talk about something with all of you! Theres been some... Interesting events that's transpired these last few weeks. I met a lady!"

The table fell silent, the boys trying to decipher whether or not he was just joking. You, however, were frozen. Hoping it was just a new friend.

"Her name is Stephanie, and she's been coming to our shows a lot lately. We started talking, she's actually really cool! And last night? I asked her out and she fucking said yes!"

This was it, the confirmation you needed. He didn't feel the same way. Obviously he didn't. There's no point in telling him your feelings anymore. Especially since now, apparently, he was already taken.

"Shes actually on her way over right now, do you guys wanna meet her? Shes kinda nervous but I assured her you're all cool. So don't be little shits, okay?"

The table as a whole agreed with anticipation. Dustin jokingly saying something about making no promises. Everyone was getting excited. You? You were silent.

"There she is!"

Seemingly out of nowhere came this beautiful girl. Long brown curls, piercing blue eyes, her attire was exactly what you would picture Eddies girlfriend to be. Guns n Roses t-shirt, black leather pants, heeled combat boots with bracelets up the wazoo. Thats not even mentioning her makeup. The perfect middle, not too dark, but not exactly bright either. She was oozing with confidence, making you more or less intimidated. She was perfect. And she wasn't you.

"Hi everyone! I'm Stephanie, but you can call me Steph. It's nice to finally meet you all!"

'Nervous my ass' you thought to yourself. This woman carried herself in the highest manner, and it definitely shows.

You pulled yourself out of your ass long enough to cast a smile at her. Trying not to focus too long on Eddies arms sliding to waist.

Gareth is the first to speak, "It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Gareth, this is Jeff, Grant, Dustin, Mike, Lucas, and that's Y/n. And on behalf of us all, you better not hurt him. We are the satanic criminals in town!"

Everyone laughed, even you. By this point you had gotten over the initial shock, now looking at Eddie and seeing how absolutely smitten he was with her. Seeing him so happy, so in love, was enough to get out of your thoughts. (At least for right now.)

It isn't his fault you never said anything sooner, even if he did feel the same way at some point. There's no use telling him the truth now, seeing as how you're getting confirmation of your biggest fears right at this moment.

But... seeing the smile on Eddies face as he stares at her, you can't bring yourself to do anything about it. It hurts, yeah. Fuck if it doesn't wreck your body to shreds. But that's your problem. And there's nothing you can really do about it.

The rest of lunch is just everyone getting to know Eddie's new girl, and to everyone's surprise, shes actually pretty nice. She listens to everything everyone says, shes witty and it's actually kind of impressive how well shes keeping up with all the chaos that is the hellfire table.

And that's the worst part. You can't even hate her.

Later on that day you attempt to meet Eddie in the woods near the school. A place he usually uses for deals and such, but it also acts as your meeting point if anything happens.

You don't even know why you still showed up. You're definitely not going to spill the beans about your feelings. However you figured it'd be kind of weird to just flake on him.

Instead, however, he flaked on you.

You'd been waiting for over an hour and a half, and still nothing but silence comes out of the woods. It wasn't hellfire today, and you know there's nothing else going on. Until it hits you.

He's probably with Stephanie.

-

The following weeks are what can only be described by you is hell. You'd kept up the daily schedule of going to the school. If not for Eddie, for everyone else. They were all your friends. Not just Eddie.

But it was getting more and more difficult to pretend you don't care. To pretend it's not a stab in your chest every time you see them kiss, or hug, or hold hands. It's getting to the point where it's impossible.

Your breaking point to edging closer. Truly, how much more could you take? He was happy, clearly, but fuck if it was gut-wrenchingly painful to see.

Dustin, Mike, and Lucas had all known about your pain. The three of them trying their best to keep you busy when you showed a sign of that wall breaking.

It was pretty incredible how mature they were, really. If you didn't know them you wouldn't really think they'd be freshman.

But despite their efforts, that wall you'd tried to hard to build, would soon come crashing down.

Eddie and Stephanie were sitting close together, giggling about some inside joke you'll never know. It was silly, really, to have something this small send you toppling over the edge. It was when Eddie sneaked a kiss to her lips when the wall cracked. Everything you'd bottled up behind it came crashing out. Shattering into millions of pieces, daring to cut into you at any given moment.

You'd made a decision that day. You couldn't do this. Not anymore.

Hellfire could deal without you. Dustin, Mike and Lucas would surely understand. Maybe Grant, Jeff, and Gareth would be confused, but you're sure it wouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure out why you wont be showing up anymore. You just needed to tell Eddie the truth. Something you'd initially decided against, but if anyone deserves to know, it's him.

The Gods have granted you one day without Stephanie. Eddie mentioning her grandma needing her help with something. If you were only going to get this one day, you'd be dammed if you didn't use it.

"Hey Eddie? Can we talk? In private?"

The look on your face sent Eddie a weird feeling, something was wrong. Has been wrong for a few days now. He'd been trying to shake this feeling off, but now, looking at you, he has to face it head on.

"Yeah, sure. Wanna go to our spot?"

You nodded and turned to grab your things. Making your way over to the exit, squeezing Dustins shoulder on the way, letting him know what's about to happen. You turn back, taking one last look at them, seeing them waving sadly at you. Giving them one more smile, you head outside with Eddie.

Once you finally reach the table in the woods, you sit down. The already unstable dam close to breaking.

"Y/n, you gotta talk to me, sweetheart. Did something happen? You've been... Off. These past few days."

You let out a sad little laugh.

"It's been a hell of a lot longer than a few days, Eds. I need to tell you something, and I know it's gonna completely destroy everything. But I- I can't go on much longer denying my own feelings."

Eddie is staring at her, nodding his head, egging her to continue.

"I'm in love with you, Eddie. I have been for so fucking long. And I know it's kinda selfish of me to just tell you now that you have Stephanie, but Eddie, I'm gonna get honest with you, it's getting fucking impossible to see her hung up on your lap every day and pretend I'm okay with that. To pretend I'm not in fucking agony."

She stood closer to him, tears welling in her eyes.

"Remember the day you told us all about Steph? When I told you I had something to tell you?"

He nodded, words getting caught up in his throat. That day he'd lost track of time, by a whole three hours nonetheless. He'd been showing Stephanie the hellfire room, all his figurines and costumes. By the time he realized he'd kept you waiting, you'd already been long gone. You never brought it up again the next day, so neither did he. Maybe he should've.

"That day, I was gonna tell you everything. I was gonna spill my heart out to you right here in our spot. I'm kinda glad you flaked on me that day, actually. I have no idea what I would've said to you.

I tried to keep going, to keep pushing through because you look... So happy. Every time you hug her, or kiss her, or even just laugh with her, Eddie it wrecks me. I can't keep going like this. It's nothing short of torture and I need... To stop."

Eddie stepped away from her a bit.

"Stop? What is that supposed to mean? It's not my fault you didn't say anything before! Now you spring this shit on me out of the blue? Because why? You couldn't handle it anymore? Thats not fair, Y/n."

Eddie was getting overwhelmed. He'd spent so long dreaming about you telling him all this. So long he'd pined for his best friend. Now that he'd finally moved on, turns out she'd felt the same way along? He didn't know what to think.

"I know it's not Eddie! But what would be even more unfair is me disappearing and giving you no explanation as to why. To just leave everyone hanging and no one knowing why... That's why I'm telling you this. Because I cant... I can't continue to wish I was something I'm not."

"And what's that, huh?"

"Yours."

Eddie didn't mean to get so heated. His emotions were everywhere, he didn't know what to think, let alone say next. Fortunately, you did.

"I love you Eddie. And you don't love me and that's okay. But I cannot keep pretending that I don't."

She took a step closer to him, grabbing his hands. He was frozen in place, not knowing what was about to happen.

"You're my best friend, Eddie. I'll always be here for you. Don't ever feel like I'm abandoning you. I just won't be coming around here anymore. I have to do this. For me and you. I know you really like Steph. And you know whats so fucked up about this? I actually like her too. It'd be so much easier if I could just... Hate her. But I can't. Because she makes you happy and that's something I can't bring myself to hate."

You squeezed his hand, looking up at him with tears in your eyes. Not even bothering to wipe them away anymore.

"If you need me, you know where I am."

You gave him one last hug, squeezing to make it last.

With that you let go, and walked away, leaving Eddie trying to put himself back together.

-

When Eddie finally got back to the table, he was silent. The three freshmen looking at him sympathetically. He'd lost his best friend, had he really been so blind?

Eddie tries to think back to all the times you'd spend night together. The times you'd fall asleep on his chest, hands clinging to whatever shirt he was wearing that night. The times you'd jump in his arms from some cheesy horror flick her got, specifically to make you flinch on him. The times Eddie would sneak in your window for no reason other than just wanting to be in your presence.

The times Eddie almost spilled his guts out to you just as you had.

He feels like he's about to throw up. Of course he'd fucked this up, too. Stephanie is really cool, he likes her a lot. But she's not you, and she never will be.

If only he'd just waited. One more day, even! You'd be together, kissing, cuddling, hell he'd even consider taking you to prom seeing as you didn't go to yours. He'd do anything to go back in time, to make this right. To go back to before he'd broken your heart.

You needed your space, he knew that, and maybe, he thinks, this is for the better.

Maybe Y/n and I are just... Not meant to be.

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Part 2??