#theres so many more i am forgetting right now

[bitch-biblioklept]

I like my men a little insane

[lueurjun]

youtuber bf sunghoon

youtuber!sunghoon x reader! in which he is a world renowned youtube star with millions of subscribers but his favourite person will always steal the spotlight — requests are open officially now if you want something specific:)

honestly i see him being one of those youtubers that started posting when they were a kid and just grew a huge fan base from there

like hes been posting since he was like eleven and now hes 20 with over 15 million subs

yes. i’m giving him 15 million. he deserves more. subscribe to him rn

and you’re not on the youtube scene until the two of you start dating

but how you met is actually filmed

he was filming a vlog with his friends and they decided to film a basketball vid for heeseung’s channel

now sunghoon isn’t bad at basketball but he isn’t the best

so you can probably see where this is going

if not then… you were innocently passing by the court when the ball flung over the high gate and smacked you in the side of the head

you wanted death to welcome you

really you could’ve curled up in a ball

pain and embarrassment you didn’t know which was worse

“riki stop laughing- oh my god-”

you couldn’t really see that well but you managed to make out multiple figures on the court standing still just staring

one of them had their hands slapped over their mouth so you assumed that one was riki

someone was leaving the court but you couldn’t make out it it was one person or two because your vision was off

poor you just wanted a slushie to cool you down

you ended up walking away with bf tho so let’s be real… getting slapped in the head was worth it

“i’m so sorry- are you okay?”

“oh no. it’s fine. cant see but you know… it’s all good”

you little people pleaser you

the person takes your hand awkwardly to try and steady you

because that ball had knocked off your entire balance

thats so embarrassing for you im so sorry for doing this to you BUT ITS FOR THE PLOT! you’re gorgeous enough to get through it, your face card never declines bae just take it in stride

after a few moments your vision settled and you were finally able to focus on the boy

and boy was he fine

suddenly the embarrassment seemed worse than the pain

because a really hot guy just watched you get a ball to the head

“do i need to take you somewhere to get checked? you don’t have a concussion right? i didn’t kill you or anything?”

the only thing he killed was your ego

despite insisting that you’re fine, he convinces you to let him buy you a slushie as a makeup gift

cue the annoying wolf whistles when his friends see the two of you walking away together

sunghoon flips them off forgetting all about the video he was supposed to film for heeseung

and you best believe that long legged mf kept that part in the vid

anyways the two of you get a slushie together and he tells you all about his channel and eventually when it’s time for you to head home

he asks if he can see you again

and you’re just like *debby ryan meme* who me?

that was horrifyingly cringe i am so sorry

skipping past that, you are not about to turn this man down so you agree and a date is scheduled

moving on from how sunghoon was blessed with your existence, let’s get into your relationship — my favourite part;D

his fans absolutely adore you as they should

im your biggest fan tho don’t forget that pls

literally his stans beef with him asking if he can fight

no but fr can he because i’ll get my boxing gloves on rn

sorry sorry

videos with you always get a lot of views but there isn’t many of them since he does value privacy and is quite protective

theres like a video with you once every six months and then you’ll just make the odd appearance in the background

his friends LOVE having you in their videos tho bc you bring in them views bc everyone loves you so much

ultimately as much sunghoon would like to protect and shield you, he knows you are your own person and let’s you decide whether you want to be in their videos or not

most of the time you’re like sure because it’s fun

there’s definitely fan made compilations of sunghoon being an absolute simp for you

THE FAN EDITS!!! THE FAN EDITS!!!

you literally sit and watch them before you go to sleep

ngl id do that too i don’t blame u

the video of you being knocked out by the ball is an iconic moment in his fandom

his friends bring it up any chance they get

“remember when sunghoon knocked all of the brain cells out of their head?”

“what brain cells? they had none to begin with.”

cue you throwing a pillow at the youngest for that comment

“you’re like 6! go learn how to read.”

ni-ki definitely sees you as an older sibling and as much as he teases you, he adores you

the boy literally threatens sunghoon whenever you aren’t around

“i swear if you mess up this relationship and make me a child of divorce, i will roundhouse kick you”

sunghoon just snorts but he knows he will never ever hurt you

because the idea of breaking your precious heart genuinely fills him with dread and nausea

also because me and ni-ki have a y/n protection squad going. we’ve got your back ml don’t worry

sometimes he films for hours and then goes straight to editing with no breaks so you always supply him with some water and snacks

that definitely convinces him to take a break because he just needs to kiss all over your face for being so darn amazing

you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him

isn’t sappy often but he has his moments where he’ll remind you of how much he genuinely loves and appreciates you

those little declarations always make you sob

and now i’m gonna sob because you’re both just so in love

definitely the internets favourite couple

now that’s over, excuse me whilst i go slide down a wall and cry of loneliness:)

small end note — had this in the drafts for a while and i’m not too keen on it but it took some time to do, so here we are. also thank you for all of your support recently! i’m very grateful and appreciate of you! much love! :)

[synthleeius]

august slipped away (into a moment of time)

taylor swift reference sorry im unoriginal

i am so sorry for this btw this is mt first time writing for tighnari if it doesnt sound like him at all do not continue to read it and hold it against me forever 😁🫶😋😝

lee!aether

ler!tighnari

(theres not alot of tickling but um. 💔)

Tighnari sighed as he looked at the other, who was currently laid out on the small cot they kept in the infirmary. He thanked the archons that Collei had found the well-known Traveller on the paths of the forest momentarily after he had passed out. He was waiting for him to awake before he did any serious examinations, but from what he saw from glancing along the vital areas he could say with confidence he’ll be fine. (Atleast, that's what he told a worried Collei..)

His ears straightened up immediately when he heard Aether stirr, his eyes fluttering half open with a groan. He moved to sit up, too quickly he may add, pressing a hand to his temple.

Tighnari stood up and moved over to his side, gently placing a hand on his shoulder to steady the fragile figure. “Hey, easy..” he murmured soothingly, his voice filled with concern. “Collei tells me you took quite a fall. Are you dizzy at all?”

Aether paused for a second, processing the recent events. “..um, a bit, I think?"

The fox thought for a moment, before reaching for the cup of water he had prepared when the other was brought in. “Here, take a sip. It’ll help with the lingering dizziness.”

“Thanks..” The blonde spoke, taking the glass with both hands in fear it’ll spill. He took a slow sip, blinking away the blurriness in his eyes. Tighnari nodded, taking the glass back with ease. “Now.. more importantly, do you remember what happened?”

“Yeah, it.. just..- sorry.” He chuckled, trying to speak and form his thoughts into words at the same time. He was still adjusting, after all. “I was looking for materials, these flowers. I think I just stood up too fast, and I started to see black dots.. yknow?”

Tighnari listened attentively, his brows furrowing with concern as he pieced together what happened. “Hm.. I’ve heard that a few times, actually. Well.. that isn’t surprising, because I assure you I’ve heard it all.”

Aether laughed softly, “I’m sure you have, ‘nari.” As he was talking, he shifted himself to sit facing the other.

“But.. It sounds like you're describing a combination of a sudden change of position and low blood sugar. Can I ask the last time you’ve eaten?”

“I-.. huh.” He began to speak before cutting himself off, thinking for a moment. “Yesterday.. midday-ish?”

Tighnari sighed, his ears twitching. “Now, that plays a part of the problem. You have to make sure you're taking care of yourself before you go out on your adventures, or things like this happen.”

“In my defence, I wasn’t ad-.. Okay, okay.” He paused when he looked up to see Tighnari staring at him with a specific look, putting his hands up in defence.

“So, what now? You’ve given me your little lecture, I'm not dizzy anymore.. I can go, right?” He said as he let his arms fall to his sides, leaning forward a bit.

“Hah, funny.” Tighnari half-scoffed, standing up straight before continuing. “I still have to make sure you're completely okay, physically. It's one of the many, many rules here.”

“Is that necessary? I mean.. aren’t you a botanist?” Aether tilted his head in confusion, a part of him trying to convince Tighnari to forget about the technicalities.

“Oh trust me, I know.” He huffed, turning to pick up a piece of paper behind him. “I majored in botany, and helping people grow a brain is not my area of expertise.”

“Rude, but fair.” Is all he replied with, watching as the fox turned back around with the said paper in his hands as he skimmed the information. “So.. You fell, which means I have to check your head, and limbs. Fun, right?”

“I’m ecstatic right now, can’t you tell?” Aether said in a deadpanned tone, glancing off for a second before returning his attention to the other. “Yeah? Well, maybe It’ll convince you to take better care of yourself.”

“Okay.. tilt your head down for me.” Not giving him a chance to reply to his comment, he carded a hand through the other hand in search of any dried blood or cuts. “A headache is to be expected.. but are you experiencing any other sort of pain?”

“Not really.” He shifted slightly, but stayed mostly still. “If you mess my hair up, you're redoing it.”

Tighnari simply laughed at his comment, rolling his eyes. “Uhuh..” However, Aether barely heard him and was more focused on his hand. The soft touch travelled to the back of his head, dangerously close to the back of his neck. In response, his back tensed up as he tilted his head back up. “Sohorry- it just felt weird.”

The other looked at him with a knowing look, a smug smile forming on his face. “Just weird?” He asked, before picking up the paper again and jotting something down. “Mhm.”

“I’m sure.. put your arms out.” Aether did as he was told, holding his arms out with his wrists facing up. “Any pain?”

“No- ow!” He yelped, pulling his arm back as soon as Tighnari began gently squeezing starting from the top. “Okay, a little pain.."

“Hm..” He hummed, inspecting the area. “It’s only a bruise, no need to fret.”

“I wasn’t, you just scared the shit out of me-hah! - Nahari!” He yelped as he felt a hand squeeze his side, jolting back. “Watch your language, I’m not sure where Collei is.”

“Obviously not here- wait! Sorry, I'm sohorry!” he gasped as the hand inched closer again, causing him to giggle in anticipation.

“That's what I thought. Now, stay still. You're squirming a awful lot for somebody who wants this over and done with.” Tighnari said smugly, continuing down his arms before leading them to lay down to his torso.

“Everything seems okay.. Can you stand?” He moved back so the traveller could get up, watching as he stood with ease. “Hm.. No, don't think so.” Aether replied, looking at Tighnari with a faked look of confusion.

“You're hilarious.” All the other said in response, rolling his eyes half-heartedly. “I know, right? Am I as funny as Cyno, Tighnari?”

“hah.. you're just as immature as he can be, Aether.”

“But you still laughed~” Aether teased, crossing his arms over his chest with that stupid, smug smile on his face.

“I can think of a couple of ways to make you join me.” He said in a calm and collected tone, watching as the other stuttered slightly at his words. “Oh, so now you're a comedian?”

“Did you think that I’m joking?” Tighnari looked up with that glint in his eyes, before writing a few more things down that Aether couldn’t be bothered to snoop at.

“Annd.. done. You're free to go.”

“..What?”

“I said you're done. Apologies for holding you up.” He said, folding the paper and setting it on the chair. “But you said that-..”

“What? Were you expecting something, perhaps?” Aether huffed under his breath, glancing away momentarily to collect himself. “Tighnari.”

With a laugh, Tighnari rolled his eyes and took a step closer. “I’m kidding, I'm kidding.. come here."

“..Stop looking at me like that.” He replied but still took a step forward. “Well, you just asked me to tickle you, so I have to look at you some way.”

“I did nohot-!” He yelped softly when he felt sharp nails scratching up his hips, unfortunately Tighnari was careful not to dig into him.. which in response just produced a barely-there tingling sensation.

He flinched forward, deciding if he was gonna end up falling over he’d drag the fox down with him. After jolting into the other’s hold, he pressed his face into hiding. this is his fault after all. Him and his stupid nails, and smug smile.. Aether was gonna get him back, just.. not right now. Convenient, right?

“Don't deny it,” He laughed softly at Aether’s attempt, pressing his thumb into the back of his ribs as his fingers wiggled into the front of the bones. “You definitely did.”

“Thahats- nohot fair! Yohour a liar! Lying!” He wailed, his frantic giggled morphing into intoxicating laughter at the change of spots. “No need to be so defensive.. Laughing is good for you, actually. When you laugh, it relieves your stress re-”

“I dohohon’t cahahare!” Aether cut him off, his hands finding Tighnari’s wrists and holding them in place. Tighnari simply sighed, before moving his nails to spider down his stomach. The movement resulted in a sudden cackle, ceasing any backtalk entirely.

“As I was saying before I was interrupted..” He said with a tone of fake annoyance, before continuing to speak on the matter. It only lasted a minute, maybe two, before Aether pushed at his chest as hard as he could in his position.

“so- oh, hello again. What's so funny?” He asked with a knowing tone, stilling his hands momentarily. “I.. hahahahate yohohou..” He giggles, taking in heavy breaths of air.

“I’m sure you do.” Tighnari chuckled, “but here you are."

“sahahadly, yes.” He sighed happily, his relief cut off before the soft touch started up again and scribbled along his mid-back and up his spine.

The gentle sensation sent shivers through his body, rocking himself left to right slightly to try and rid of them. "yohohour nails ahare hohorible, by the wahay."

"For you, maybe. I can see why, it would be a lot bearable if they were shorter." Tighnari assessed, drawing soft circles with his fingertips.

"noho shihit," Aether replied sassily, but his rapid giggling made sure it came off with no ill intent.

Soon enough the fingers came to a stop, replaced with a palm rubbing the ghost tickles away. "Hm.. Well, I can't let you laugh too hard.. you could get lightheaded. You've had enough, surely?"

"yohour cruehehel.. yes."

[mugentakeda]

i just loveeeee the idea that there was a big gap of understanding between lu ten and iroh the same way theres a big gap of understanding between zuko and iroh. mistakes that iroh didnt realize he made with his son he then also made with his nephew and still not realizing it. a whole world of things about lu ten that iroh didnt know about, and will never know about. im gonna talk about it though because i am insane so look away from my cringe

lu ten had gone to his father with problems before, and iroh cant help but wonder, now, if his son had ever been trying to imply deeper things in between sugarcoated words because there were things you just didnt say in the palace, and irohs head had been so far up his ass he hadnt seen it. despite it being waved practically right in his face by his son, desperate for sound advice from his father, whos brain was too waterlogged by thoughts of how he was going to pull off his next bloody conquest. like how zuko was always howling for help, hurt and confused like a cornered animal, hidden deep under his fits of rage, and irohs head was Still so far up his ass that he kept meeting zukos silent begging for straightforward guidance with convoluted proverbs. he can sit here and bury his face in his hands in shame over the sheer amount of times hed failed his nephew without realizing, and how much convincing it'll take to get his nephew to understand that yes, iroh did fail him so many times, and he couldve prevented so much suffering simply by holding himself to the same standards he held his nephew to. all those times during those three years before the avatar returned that he couldve done something. sit here and think about how sad it is that he has to even try hard to convince his nephew such a thing, how sad it is that he finally got zuko to stop seeing ozai as some all-wise god that can do no error as a father, just for zuko to start seeing iroh as some all-wise god that has done no error as an uncle. but he can at least go and do something about it. he can never do something about what he did to his son. the things he knows he did, the things he doesnt know he did, and everything in between. he will never find out what lu ten truly thought about him. he will never have that reconciliation, that silent scream of relief and violent shiver in the crook of his neck that zuko gave when iroh yanked him in close after their separation, with his lu ten. he just has to hear about his own son through word of mouth and somehow be content with that. and worst of all, its all his own and his god damned family's fault. no amount of healing and learning by trying to do right by zuko and the world he helped nearly ruin not much more than a half decade ago can act as a balm for the agony that brings him. he knows healing his guilty conscience isnt supposed to even be a reason for why he helped the avatar, but god- it's when the rationality leaves him and he realizes that this is something he cant seem to make himself be the bigger person in. he knows its his own fault, that there are hundreds- thousands, maybe- of earth kingdom sons he personally stole from earth kingdom fathers, and only gave up on his siege when the consequences of his war came into his own backyard, but he cant help it. doesnt want to help it. hes still angry and hateful anyway. his son should still be here. his son should still be here. his son should still be here. and if he tells zuko about how much he still hates himself as both an uncle and a father, zuko will definitely rush to reassure him, all the while he is chained to his desk and meetings day in and day out, fixing this uncles mistakes best he can, losing sleep and forgetting to eat. none of it will mean anything to zuko, if it means he can make his uncle feel better. and if that happens, iroh might actually vomit in front of his nephew.

[sketching-shark]

Me ghink theres lot of hate towards tang sanzang some of which IS UNDERSTANDABLE

But alot of it goes too far and say the most rancid shit ever all bc hes book character. Mind ya hes based on actual person and is being use his likeness. Like some lmk fans be saying the worse thing ever towards this guy(for example wanting him get the d*ath penalty n amongst others).

We forgetting that yes some of his treatment towards swk IS horrible but we tends to forget swk had done some atrocious things that sanzang was witness to in full view. No human would journey like that without being completely scar and traumatized. Some of my friends while looking through the book had found that sanzang be using the circlet all in one go and then never used it in years.

His character development does happen yall in where he do trust his companion more and then *insert traumatizing moment* happen. I do think wukong didnt deserves the maltreatment tho(i want to say this bc later i get ppl saying that i support ab*se bc i defend sanzang for a bit, not knowing that i also disagreed w some his actions)

Most ppl forget that the first arc that the gang actually face as a group was the gingseng tree arc, not white bone spirit.that u have him defending wukong and countless other times where he do trust swk judgement in some cases. (i just wanted to get it out there since not many ppl realize it n im fully blaming osp for this bc they are skipping arcs. N they don’t really tell what arcs they’re skipping)

This just me rambling but dam all these ppl need therapy.

THEY'RE SAYING WHAT NOW ANON AAAAAAAAAAA but haha wow on a lighter note that is kind of funny that the fandom which routinely portrays the Six-Eared "I am going to try to murder-replace you for completely selfish reasons / repeatedly try to kill a young mortal that you love" Macaque as a monkey who never did anything wrong ever would then go out its way to demonize Tang "I do lash out & often don't trust my senior disciple but have also been threatened with death for fourteen years" Sanzang. Like geez I've seen many another fandom where the assumption is that for one character to be good/be "redeemed" you need to make another character horrible (tbh I'm starting to suspect that that's what's happening with the lego show version of Sun Wukong & the Six-Eared Macaque), but wild if true that some lmk fans would go THAT far in the attempt to paint the monk as a guy so awful that he literally deserves the death penalty.

Now to be fair it does need to be noted that even in Wu Cheng'en's classic (or at least from what I've seen in the Anthony C. Yu translation), Tang Sanzang was in many ways intentionally written as a caricature of a fussy Confucian scholar who may have memorized many doctrines but who doesn't really understand them, and who is often made a figure of fun for falling off his horse, and who does use the headband against Sun Wukong is some very explicitly painful and unjust scenes. In at least the book he's also a much more static character than the Monkey King in that we don't see any real changes in his thoughts or behavior over the course of the journey, which I can see as a something that would sour many against him. THAT SAID, you are very correct anon in noting that besides one traumatizing event after another happening to him, from his mother's suicide to constantly being threatened with death and/or rape at the hands of many yaoguai, this monk does have a number of reasons for why he's constantly crying and acting with hatred and suspicion towards the Monkey King. And let's not forget that one of the things SWK told Tang Sanzang early on in the journey was that he had literally killed so many he couldn't remember them all, and that was right before he tried to kill the monk himself! Point being that yes both Tang Sanzang and Sun Wukong are extremely flawed individuals who often clashed with each other in some pretty upsetting ways, but there's also many understandable reasons for why they act the way they do. It's a real disservice to their characters and the underlying implications of the journey (or its retellings tbh) to forget or ignore that! *

*(and on THAT note this is another reason why it's kind of frustrating that the Overly Sarcastic Production & Monkie Kid retellings of Xiyouji seem to be the primary ways that western audiences are understanding the journey. Liking explicitly cartoony retellings is one thing. But then basing all your knowledge of the work on these retellings and/or even outright refusing to understand the classic in any other context makes for some really simplified and even really insulting beliefs about a culturally important work as a whole)

[kijosakka]

i have so many hypotheticals for dramaturgy u dont even KNOW (i am going to sit here and go through them though)

so this is all coming up because i was considering a tiny detail about the initial cast relations on island (then turning into this whole. mess.) and wanted to do a little thing where i explore hypotheticals to this au that aren't necessarily 'canon' to it,,

CAST RELATIONS: in my rehash post of island and covering the casts' reactions to noah acting Like That, i say the feeling of uncanny detachedness was immediate. but it could also? not be?

maybe he just comes off as shy at first, or especially standoffish -- perhaps the sense of detachedness is a mounting realization that 'oh this guy is kindof Weird As Hell' instead of an immediate bad sense,, this effectively would not change the cast relations or dynamics at this point, but it would provide more exposition opportunities for cast members to try striking up anything at all with him and getting shut down immediately as opposed to (unintentional) ostracization from the beginning.

^ and also, conflict exploration. not during island, but during his shift in WT, there could be the issue of noah knowing these people already tried and he shut them down each and every time, so what reason do they have to give him yet another chance? (is it worth the emotional risks and potential hurt and no gains, etc etc)

PHOBIA FACTOR: as it is, 'canon' to the AU noah gets eliminated during dodgebrawl (which is necessary for his general character), but phobia factor is a lovely little 'consequences of forgetting about the cameras' if on a much smaller scale.

now,, im ngl this sounded a lot more fun than it is actually going to be. because the simple answer is just that noah lies. put in this position -- if his onscreen character is forced to have depth, then it will be fake for his own peace of mind.

^ the only thing that would potentially happen is that it would, in a way, isolate him from his castmates further, simply because his reaction,,, Isn't. the fear among the cast as they face their greatest fears is shared -- except for noah. because its not genuine. his reaction comes off as flat (and even then the response that he is showing is further, repeated theme, uncanny valley. to have never seen this guy fearful performing some facsimile of it? Weird.)

SIERRA / WT PAN-OUT: ok,, sierras role here is very closely connected to the other idea mentioned here -- a wt hypothetical season play-out,, thing. while not 'canon' to the au for the simple fact that noah has Little to No development in this and thats the point, im spilling all my 'what-ifs' and might as well include this one.

theres actually,, a shocking number of moving parts to this. to summarize: tyler is eliminated in noahs place in london (mostly to keep numbers even), and thus takes his place witnessing the Kiss.

^ im not sure why tyler would be eliminated honestly. havent thought that through. however i do have something mapped out (kinda) for the trajectory of the love triangle,, being that noah doesnt do Anything. it boils over eventually, obviously, since duncan and gwen both know that he knows, im thinking around picnic at hanging dork? (elimination-wise, between london and picnic [*greece & area 51] cody is eliminated, sierra is Struggling but i do need her here for future plot purposes)

[*greece; noah volunteers before duncan in the scavenger hunt and along the way kiiinda talks with gwen?? just a little, just kinda nudging her in a direction away from any Dramatic, Exploitable behaviors]

^ so noah says nothing, right? he doesnt want to get involved in this Plotline, but he can get duncan to spill. so he does that -- talks to others, sometimes points over at him, and through the two challenges and the time between ends up freaking duncan out enough that he confronts noah post-picnic (theyre just outside the plane getting uhhh idk drinks. its Hot.) while the cameras arent rolling. the cast is around though.

duncan spills it all by himself, noah has a little moment of 'i didnt tell anyone, but you just did' -- courtney is pissed, but duncan is downright furious and gets all in noahs face, to which he responds much like he did at the very beginning of island: he doesnt.

he says something to the effect of 'if youre looking for a reaction, im the wrong person to look for it in' (or he doesnt say anything -- this is a work in progress) and Leaves. i also do like the mental image of noah spilling whatever drink he has down duncans shirt to force him away in a manner that doesnt make noah reveal any (perceived sense of) vulnerability via stepping back himself.

not much else on that -- just that post-challenge i also like the idea of noah being physically close to owen after. idk to what ends,, owen just wants to Comfort (< see also, noah can have a little breakdown in the showers or smth. a tiny one. its been far too long having to keep this all up and being close and not even properly involved in some of the drama of the show is making him crack whether he shows it or not)

^ and (im ngl i do imagine gwen being eliminated here? again, semantics r lost on me in favor of the Numbers) now,, sweden comes: duncan definitely believes anything with noah is nuked, so sucks up to owen and alejandro both in similar ways. basically like how canon went, etc etc noah is back to fading into the background.

however post-sweden offers up duncan&noah interactions. say duncan has had time to cool off and now wants to know why noah didnt say anything; noah deflects, bc of course he does, but does talk duncan into a kindof realization of just how much the show itself impacted his relationship with courtney -- not at the moment, but later it would serve to duncan to characterize noah a little better (and by a little i mean a lot); being, he's keenly aware of the cameras and the audience.

niagra brawls,, everything most goes, save the pairing are changed a bit: heather and alejandro, owen and blaineley, duncan and sierra, and courtney and noah. < courtney and noah win immunity (note: courtney definitely carries him across). post-challenge, noah point-blank tells courtney that hes sorry and that he shouldve come to her immediately.

^ courtney,, appreciates the genuine apology. she asks him why he didnt -- noah is, for once, honest, saying it was mostly a selfish reason and he didnt want the fallout. (smth smth he can truly hold sympathy abt the situation, knowing just how badly the presence of cameras can Fuck Things Up)

now. i swear ill circle around to sierra eventually but i need to talk about blaineley really quickly. so dramaturgy right?? noah is In The Business. i had it in the very original post of this (rb, covering cast dynamics) that noah did not like blainely. i renege. bffs. absolute shit-talkers together.

^ the point of that is that noah talks her out of the alliance with chef. im not actually sure what that does bc i still intend for blaineley to be eliminated post-china (aswell as courtney probably idk?? could be switched with duncan) but maybe she also has smth to say about how detached noah acts?? (see also the little scene concept thing of chris pointing out just how unnerving it was seeing noah act so lifeless)

also: noah wins. the china challenge. master of keeping a Flat Face. (note: he definitely does vomit immediately after. sick for Hours)

the semantics kinda fizzle out from here, but in essence noah floats his way to the final three à la cody style (does not want to be there also) and on the way kinda bonds with sierra? < that brings up another little correction ill rb onto another post at some point; sierra, while initially holding the intrigue as opposed to dislike of noahs detachedness, does in fact grow to find it unnerving. seeing him through a screen? really fun! being around him? ...not so much.

^ sierra, through noahs Magical Advice Powers That He Has In This Pan-Out For Some Reason, does earn herself advice from him about her obsessiveness or whatever. havent thought about it too much and actually propped sierra up as me having way more to say about her than i actually do,, but they do bond. they get a little bonding.

also: plane explosion. theres a little scene here that lives in my head wherein heather, frazzled from the explosion and having voted against alejandro, kinda blows up at noah? lashing out at him etc etc,, noah, par for the course, doesnt react -- mostly. he does just get up and leave, and both heather and alejandro get to hear one tiny little intake of breath that sounds vaguely like he might be crying. but he is Gone. (he breaks down around the interns instead, and fully resolves to himself that this is the final three and he was definitely making third place)

anyway beyond that i think it would be funny if the tiebreaker was actually heather and alejandro and noah some how finagles his way out of being tied up to be the first person to hit the water. thus taking himself out of the game and promising a 'dramatic finale between rivals' like hes very aware chris was gunning for.

^ this is,, tbh idk how 'canon' any of this will be?? if ill keep this as a loose outline and just change noahs character and dynamics,, idk idk. its getting late i cant really think and my god this is so so so much longer than i intended.

[ataraxixx]

How did roleswap citrus meet each other? 0: also how are some of their conflicts reversed? if this is stuff you can share lol :)

HI ok so im still working out a lot of this au in my brain bc i am kind of bad at aus so sorry if some of this seems kind of bad or makes no sense….. This is also gonna be a long one and answer a lot more than just ur question so sorry. But i need to infodump it somewhere </3 ill put it under a break bc this is a LONG One sorry

So for morro ive talked abt how i think hes a robot who was built to fulfill the green ninja prophecy and his is his sole purpose/directive. To defeat the dark lord. Kind of how zane/echo are ‘built to protect’ and live by that (or try to lol). So morro is created a long time before the ninja come together and he seeks out wu in order to figure out how to get to Garmadon. Because his purpose is to defeat garmadon. And wu is like.(who the fuck is this guy) and basically takes him in under the impression that. Maybe he could actually be the green ninja? And even though wu realizes its  definitely not morro he does keep trying to train him bc he doesnt want morro to go off on his own to try and find garmadon. But eventually he has to come clean and morro is annoyed bc he thinks wu has put everyone in danger by stalling the prophecy (he obviously doesnt believe it when wu tells him hes not the green ninja because he *is*!) and he tries to leave as wu predicted, but wu doesnt let him and instead shuts him off for his own protection. Morro gets to live in the monastery basement for awhile and wu always thinks abt powering him back on but doesnt bc hes like. This guy is going to try and do stupid shit (hes right). So he just stays in the basement until obv the ninja arrive and the shows events happen as normal but the monastery gets burned down and in the rush to get out and the move to the bounty, wu forgets abt morro being there… and when he does remember hes there, he ultimately decides its probably for the best if he isnt powered on again bc there IS a green ninja now and he doesnt know what morro would do if he met lloyd. And doesnt want lloyd to get hurt. So cue skybound when nya and jay are on the run from nadakhan, instead of going to the lighthouse they instead go to the ruins of the monastery because jay remembers wu had this cryptic ass basement he would never let the ninja go into, and jay thinks maybe theres some kind of crazy secret weapon in there or something that can stop nadakhan. Instead they find morro, and they power him on. And hes like. Oh! Youre the other ninja from the prophecy. and agrees to help them although hes a little confused on whats going on bc hes like shouldnt we be fighting garmadon… but he joins the substitute ninja in the fight against nadakhan. 

Echo was Dr. Julien’s original son who was alive and like. A #real boy. I think maybe dr. julien wife(??) died in childbirth and echo was born very sickly so dr. julien sought out a magical way to heal him. I think this is probably how he got involved with the skeletons in the first place bc them seeking him out always felt random to me i feel like they should have some history mb. So maybe like samukai or another skeleton was like oh i totally know a spell that will make your son healthy and normal. And dr julien was like . Hm. but kind of desperate so he went with it and of course it  did make his son healthy and normal. Except the price of the spell is that it curses the soul of the person its used on. So echo lived normally with his father for many years until he was outside late collecting firewood one evening and was attacked by treehorns (this was before dr. julien built the guard robot) and A) discovered he had the ability to control the wind which was cool. Except he didnt know how to use it and just kind of fucked up badly and got lost in the woods while trying to run from the treehorns. And B) was still injured in the fight and now Also Lost and basically died trying to get home from both injuries + hypothermia. Rip bozo!. And of course dr. julien was devastated and like pinocchio-core i guess decided to build a new son and that is the  Current Zane. he is a copy but he was never told about that of course bc dr julien didnt want to think abt the son he lost. But yea echos soul was cursed and he went to the cursed realm which  um. Hardened him so to speak. He learned he was cursed because of his father and it pissed him off a little bit but only mildly. But i think the cursed realm is like hell or whatevr so the ghosts go through bullshit all the time bc like. Theyre the souls of the damned or whatever right. So by time echo manages to get out hes become apart of the pre eminents ranks and her plans and what not and hes like sure  whatever. I want revenge on my dad for cursing me (<-- guy who has gone through the ringer) but he gets out at the end of s4 and discovers. Oh. my dad didnt just curse me. When i died he replaced me with a stupid machine! Ok! And he possesses zane and also does pre eminent plan and etc….average s5 stuff i think. Idk im not the best at rewriting seasons if anyone has any ideas for this let me know.

I think at the end of s5 echo doesnt get his shit rocked because i like him. And i think it would be nice if he could get along with zane a little. So maybe he stays as a ghost and maybe nya or borg or whoever builds him a robot body he can possess and use instead of being a ghost all the time:) and he doesnt necessarily join the team bc hes not . a ninja nor does he want to be but hes still the master of wind so hes a useful ally to the ninja and helps them out with bigger threats. LIKE. the sons of garmadon. Transition…. (PS. i also think that echo and morro would meet in skybound bc echo would also be on the substitute ninja team but this would be undone by jay. Of course)

So. the SoG go to the ruined monastery at some point or other to try and find some dirt on the ninja and also just to find old wu scrolls or whatever they can scrounge up. And What they DO scrounge up is this fuckass robot whos been here for however long bc. Obviously skybound didnt happen! And jay and nya never went back for morro bc they were like. Umm he was weird and also would probably try to kill lloyd if he met him maybe. And also like lets be real they just wanted to ignore this shit ever happened why else would they leave echo in canon lol. So the SoG find Morro and power him on and hes like ummm. Hey. its me. The green ninja. Who are you. And harumis like…??? Are you sane or what. But she sees an opportunity here. Bc this robot solely wants to fight garmadon. And shes like. Ok. well we’re gonna get garmadon here. If you help us you can fight him. This is your destiny. And hes like damn ok sure sounds good to me! (nobody is gonna tell him that the destiny already happened and theres Another Guy who is the green ninja btw). So morro joins the SoG idk what his name should be. Mr. M is fucking stupid sorry. If anyone has any ideas for morro biker name lmk. But hes there or whatever and then when lloyd goes undercover in the SoG and snake jaguar fight a la mutt malamute style. Morro and lloyd fight and morro reveals his identity to lloyd as the green ninja (he thinks hes very cool) and lloyd is like. What. lmfao. And is like. Youre  not the green ninja …? I am…? And they get into a fight abt it and morro beats up lloyd bc hes annoyed at all the lies this guy is saying to him about how his destinys already been fulfilled and wu lied and etc etc. lloyd loses the fight rip bozo. 

I am a wojira duo fan and i think that persists here except  its echo and nya instead so im gonna talk abt that. I think theyre friends. So i think nya would confide in echo about the events of skybound and so i think echo remembers what happened (in my mind skybound is like. Everyone can remember it but they have to be reminded what happened for it to be recalled? Bc splinter implies lloyd and clancee have vague impressions of it in their minds. Idk its interesting). So he remembers morro and when lloyd is like yea some fuckass robot is saying hes the green ninja  jay nya and echo all collectively just kind of look at each other about it. Like thats OUR fuckass robot saying hes the green ninja. And because i am not limited by pacing i can do whatever i want and have jaya tell the team abt skybound finally (things that shouldve happened in s8 originally lol) and theyre all like. Oh. what girl. And jay insists that if they can get to morro and tell him what happened in the lost timeline he will remember it and join them bc hes a good person at heart. (probably). So the next time they encounter him would actually be when pixal finds the SoG in ‘the quiet one’ so i think. Echo and her went together to go stall them since echo can also just fly over w the mech using powers lol. So they find killow morro uv and  echo and morro fight 1v1 . yuri btw. And echo reminds him of what happened and morros like. Hm. I do remember this. But i need to help the SoG so i can defeat garmadon and prove im the green ninja. So fuck off? But i think obv when the  SoG DO revive garmadon morro immediately tries to fight him and gets his ass kicked……I dont think he gets destroyed but i do think he gets fucked up enough (the ninja probably fix him) that he realizes lloyd wasnt lying and that he isnt supposed to be the one to fight garmadon. Like theyve all been saying. Which kind of fucks him up a bit bc like. Thats literally his sole purpose and wtf is he existing for if he cant even do that. Youve given the perfectly good robot anxiety oh no. but also i could probably talk abt this for another like 4 paragraphs i need to put an end here bc this is already like 3 pages on google docs…….Sorry you did not ask for all this. But i needed to explain the context

[afuckingsystemsthoughts]

we've seen a lot of people with DID and OSDD hate being a system. most of us dont hate it per se, its more of the bad parts we hate. i, host, suffer much more mental pain from other disorders we have, not just DID- thats probably the smallest part. for us, our biggest cause of mental pain is bpd and denial of trauma/our posttraumatic disorders- so what were about to say will probably sound biased.

also a note, i only suffer the really dramatic drastic disorienting dissociation everyone with DID online complains about (and claims they have 24/7) only half the time or less. most of the dissociation i experience as host is dissociative amnesia, theres not a day i dont experience that but its usually of the past ill never remember or milder forms like "oh i did that? hm dont remember" "oh they said that? i only remember the interesting parts of the conversation and i cant even remember it verbatim", or emotional/mental detachment and emotional numbing (especially if my mood is too unstable), and staring off forgetting what to do or not knowing how to do it and having to mentally yell at myself

now, for the parts of having DID id absolutely get rid of right now and never want back.

i hate when im trying to do something, i wanna do it alone, i wanna have privacy, wtv. and boom, an alter suddenly appears out of nowhere invading the front. i dont wanna be rude to them because theyre a part of me and more than likely a trauma holder or protector i wouldnt be here without, but i want to have some privacy in my own head. have some things just to me. i am annoyed, i know they feel that. and for that, i feel guilt. for being annoyed by the presence of someone else inside my head, and the guilt gets even worse if its a little, understandably, or a trauma holder whos been through enough rejection already, or a protector who i wouldnt be alive without. i have to show common courtesy to a large group of selves inside my own brain, every second im awake. and that gets tiring. no wonder im always so mentally drained.

having to work around what alters want. this often goes hand in hand with them randomly intruding the front. ill be in the clothing aisle, just to get a simple grey shirt- and an alter will come out when they see a shirt they like. if i refuse to get it, they might feel hurt, and ill feel guilty. and if i look through a whole clothing aisle, more than one part will come out and make me feel drawn to the different clothing they like (sometimes a few alters making me feel drawn to a few different clothing styles at once) i get a headache from that and dont like how i feel pulled into many different directions by my own brain. (id experience that before i even knew what plurality was or really knew my alters or even remotely felt plural and it caused me a lot of mental pain and headaches)

feeling like a stranger to myself now because i realize how much i was a stranger to myself, i didnt even know i was abused, and i didnt even know a lot of things i did. and feeling guilt for not knowing i was a stranger to myself for most of my life. i should have known but i didnt. i was too dumb to pick up on the clues that someone inside me ran away with my body and my life. theres even small things i didnt know about myself i discovered years later. example, i didnt know i asked for a get-well card for a doll when i pretended it was sick until i discovered it about 8-10 years later. and theres big things i never knew. some of these things were people. when i was little, i was around people i should remember, i was around them enough. but when i see them again in 2019, i think its the first time even stepping foot in the place, and seeing the people. i only knew that i knew them when i was little because i was told that in 2019. i also dont remember an entire year, minus a small snapshot memory. i cant be sure if the memories i think i have of it are real. which leads me to the other part about DID i hate and if i could get rid of only one part of it, this would be it.

the dissociative amnesia (mostly of trauma) and its effects. i dont remember majority of my early childhood, and i only remember about half of my mid childhood, maybe a tad more than half. the memories i have, its like im watching an eerie, dark tinted movie of myself. i dont remember being abused in any of the memories before around 8, and very few are of me being unhappy. i think to myself, "if i was abused, id have memories of it or be unhappy." i didnt feel anything. i just... existed. no feelings, maybe an artificial happiness, but no feelings outside of that. its like i was a robot in control of my own actions. i tell myself i dont have trauma and im just holding onto the "impossible possibility" i was abused as a small child as an excuse for being this way "because i cant accept i was born broken, i dont have an excuse to be this way." then, someone comes along who explains to me what i did in the memories when i was little and throughout my entire childhood was a sign of abuse, and i feel valid and confident about myself because im reassured im not born broken scum, but then i realize that means someone violated my body and ill never know who did first, how old i was, where it first happened. and ill never know what all my body has been used for either. then ill feel disgusted with my body and want to escape it or self harm. and i live with a person who flip flops between being emotionally abusive/manipulative and being nice and shes used my dissociative amnesia against me before, used it to say things didnt happen and the memories were planted, and to say i did things i didnt do. other people used my dissociative amnesia against me before too. but the most painful part for me, is im stuck in a vicious, mentally draining cycle- feeling like my trauma isnt real and hating myself because i feel like i was born broken, just wanting to know i was abused, then i find out and i feel uncomfortable in my body, i cry, i feel alone because the only people id allow myself to seek comfort from arent around, and sometimes self harm.

for me, im fine with being a system. i wouldnt trade most of my alters or the memories weve made together since i found out i had a system and met them. they taught me what family really is. they taught me what community means. its the parts that make it disordered id gladly get rid of. sure, we want our own bodies, id like them to have their own bodies too, but im fine with them just being in my head when theyre not intrusive.

DID isnt fun, but it isnt always living hell 24/7. not for every DID system. not for us. but its still not "friends in your head" and even when you are friends with some of your alters they can still intrude on you when you want to be alone and you'll still have the distress from having DID. its not always fun but its not always hell.

[skwistokgetalongshirt]

Kloktober Day 25

Uhh hi! This is my first contribution to the fandom. I only got into mtl recently so I'm jumping in hoping to attempt to contribute to the tail end of kloktober

Campfire or Left in the cold

Toki didn’t realize how cold it had gotten out here… his body was shivering, but his lips stayed locked with the bottle of vodka hoping to keep his insides warm. He had been drinking so much more than usual lately - he didn’t want to have time to think. When he was sober all these thoughts swirled around in his head and it became overwhelming to him. There were so many things he wanted to forget about - especially all this death that seemed to surround him lately. It wasn’t fair. He understood people had to die everyday, but why was it that people in his life were dying more and more often around him lately? Even when he knew his dad was sick it brought up complicated feelings. Sure, the guy beat him but that was still his father - half of the pair who brought him into this world. Even if his relationship with his parents had been strained he was glad to be born and to be able to be in the world’s greatest band - Dethklok. 

The vodka bottle was nearly empty but his lips remained on the bottle… He just wanted to feel something, anything else than the cold that was covering his body and the emptiness that was in his heart. 

“No…I needs more!” Toki whined now throwing the empty bottle out into the distance.

“Hey watchs it! You almost hitteds me!” A familiar voice called out.

Toki thought maybe he had been seeing things. He rubbed his eyes a bit. The figure before him still remained a bit blurry out in the snow but he began to focus and made out a tall, blond silhouette. 

“Skwisgaar?” Toki questioned - he wasn’t sure himself.

“Who else, ya dildos?” Skwisgaar sounded offended, but it was merely a way to try to cover up his concern.

“What ams you doing here, Skwisgaar? It’s cold out.” 

“Pfft. This is nothings. You though… You gotta get yourself back insides. You’ve had a lots of alcohols.” 

“No! Leaves me here. I don’t want to bring the moods down.” “Moods is alreadys down without yous there.” Skwisgaar reluctantly admitted. He was shivering a bit. 

Surprisingly he hadn’t been drinking much lately… Mostly because he wanted to make sure to take care of Toki. With the lack of alcohol in his system his body actually felt colder, especially since he had come outside in his tank top. 

“Yous shiverings.” Toki stumbled his way over to Skwisgaar nearly falling face first into the snow. He rested his hand on Skwisgaar’s shoulder. 

Toki’s hand was cold, but once he rested his hand on Skwisgaar’s skin he did begin to feel a bit warmer at least. Normally Skwisgaar would shake him off but he decided against it right now. It was too fucking cold. 

“No shits! I came out here to get yous… Can we go backs insides now?” Skwisgaar was practically pulling Toki by the arm now to try to get him to budge.

“…No. Just leave me heres. I just needs to be alone for awhiles…” Toki freed himself from Skwisgaar's attempt to pull him and turned his back to him.

“If you’re staying out heres, then I guess I gotta stays here with you but if I freeze to deaths it’s your fault.” 

“Go backs insides. I saids I wanted to be alone.”

"No... I'm stayings out heres if you won't go back inside."

“I tolds yous no.” Toki sounded serious about this - it was a rare tone to hear from him.

“Tokis…” Skwisgaar sighed. “You rans out of alcohols didn’t yous? Insides there’s more so…” it wasn’t the approach he wanted to take, but if it would at least get Toki back inside then it was worth a shot.

“This ams true…You’re right Skwisgaar! I’ll be theres in a little bits. I’ll catch ups.” Toki hoped this answer would suffice. He’d still prefer to be left alone for a little while longer. 

“Yeah, Okays. Just don’t stay outs for too longs…” Skwisgaar decided to head back inside. 

He did all he could do - or rather all he would allow himself to do. If stupid Toki wanted to stay out in the cold then he wasn’t going to force him back inside. Stupid Toki. Why should he allow himself to worry over someone who just wanted to take that path of self-destruction? He shouldn’t care. Toki was grown he could take care of himself. Still Skwisgaar found himself looking back once more at Toki who sat in the snow looking up at the sky. 

“Oh Tokis… What ams we goings to do with yous?” Skwisgaar shook his head. Although he was heading back inside, he still sat near a window where he could at least keep an eye on Toki. If he stayed out there for too much longer then he’d definitely ask Nathan to carry him back inside. 

[circulars-reasoning]

"bastardized by white women decades ago" in reference to someone saying that Buddhism is an open practice...? What?

Also saying "theres ppl who find it offensive" is kind of like... Well theres plenty of ppl (yes including poc and Buddhists) who don't.

The whole tulpa discussion is pointless. (Western) Tulpamancers have been using this term for so long and with that theres more reasons to use that term. People aren't going to change over to a term that doesn't have as many guides and community sources attached to it (look at the difference in tulpa guides vs thoughtform guides).

The tulpa debate on Tumblr is forgetting the vast community outside of tumblr.

Oof okay I am like. Not having energy to give you a nice polite response with all the nuance needed. This one’s gonna be closer to a Bircular post lol.

1. Buddhism is an open practice, yes! That means that, when people want to practice Buddhism, then it’s good to do so if they’ve learned the practice and are practicing it. However, I was referring to people using the bastardized version of the word “tulpa” from a bitch ass white woman who disrespectfully took and westernized the practice of Buddhism. It’s one thing to practice Buddhism; it’s another to cut it into pieces and market the “exotic” to the west to make a buck.

2. “There’s people who don’t find it offensive!!!” And there’s people who do. Just because folks in my high school not only told me I was allowed, but encouraged me, to say the n-word doesn’t mean my white ass has any right saying that word. Just because some folks don’t find using the word tulpamancy offensive doesn’t somehow make it not offensive to use.

3. Omfggg you’re so right omg you’re right I was so blind. Henceforth I’m going to call myself a person with MPD (it’s really the same thing and more accurate totally) because there’s more scientific papers about it. It’s been used longer than DID anyways so that clearly makes it the better term (despite the fact that it was built on the premise of each alter being a literal different person, a premise that is actively harmful for many DID systems, myself included, and would encourage heightened dissociative barriers). /s

But no. Seriously. You are genuinely arguing right now “There’s no point in changing this incredibly racist term because it’s what we’ve used forever and have the most guides for currently, and not EVERYONE is offended by it, so clearly you’re just not touching grass enough.”

Please recognize that I don’t need to be in Tibet asking Tibetan Buddhists for their opinion on syscourse in order to understand the concept of racism.

[chocolatespyro]

all the riders in the world are mad at me for speaking facts unfortunately…🙁 ITS OK ive been avoiding them!! :3 i am the number pne cabby fan i know her best

i just kinda wish they Would just confirm one sided cabtube is canon. its so implied atp, if they can make one sided silvercandle canon they can make one sided cabtube canon

i just notice so much like…toxic yuri in ii, i dont wanna accuse them of sapphicphobia or lesbophobia bc i dont believe thats the case, but mlw ships (fantube and silvercandle) and mlm ships (nickeloon) get so much positive attention in the show but wlw ships (cabtube and tacomic) get so much negative attention or little attention at all (testbulb and soapmic).

the fandoms disgregard for wlw in general makes me upset especially since cabby was a core character for many lesbians back in feb-april 2022 especially with her exit interview. i get emotional but that’s because cabby means a lot to me, especially since her exit interview came out just when i found out i was lesbian

sorry for the long ventish thing in ur inbox its been eating me up for a while

-🍭

HONESTLY!!!!!! Theres so much more heavily implied/basically canon content for the straight ships especially and its just like. man.

"But just because they gave fantube a child and everything doesn't mean they're dati-" I mean technically yeah but they're giving a massive amount of attention to that ship with plenty of moments and fanservice for them, even Test Tube straight up getting revenge for Fan against Cabby. Let's not forget the whole meetup thing with Fantube either.

The writers DO notice certain ships being popular and definitely play into that. It's irritating to see people feign ignorance about it when it's right there in front of us.

(I remember seeing a screenshot of Adam tweeting a storyboard of balloon having his hand on nickel with a blushing emoji, but i sadly can't remember where i saw it, i think it was in a deleted tumblr post unfortunately.) (So you're free to take this w/ a grain of salt but if anyone has any information on that. lemme know.)

(There's also the obvious. Silver blushing in ii17 and having a whole scene of him saving her from a shark and everything. I know there's that whole ii18 thing but like, there's no way there isn't gonna be some kind of forgiveness or reconciliation scene after they went out of their way to do all that in the previous episode knowing ii. come on.)

(Test Tube and Fan getting a kid and the crew hyping up the relationship at a convention. Easy.)

Even with some of the more "healthy" wlw ships it's really saddening to see almost nothing for them. ESPECIALLY in season 3, a lot of the female characters have their storylines or biggest moments either revolve around men or they get shoved into a guy's story.

As someone who's been back-and-forth questioning my own orientation, Cabby means an awful lot to me too. In fact, the whole Cabby being betrayed in episode 7 stuff was part of what got me like... VERY attached to her as a character. I don't wanna go into detail, but some parts of it hit VERY close to home.

I've also been thinking.... Cabby is VERY strategic and especially in the earlier episodes she's very serious about the competition. But in ii7...?

She goes out of her way to give a lot of her files to someone she was fighting just a few episodes ago!!! She also doesn't seem to harbor much ill will towards Test Tube either until she realized she was backstabbed!

Now why would Cabby, someone who seemingly only allied "for the sake of the game" do something that could easily backfire so tremendously like that? Why would she put her own possessions on the line in that way for Test Tube?

Haha I dunno. just a thought.

[abimee]

I appreciate you saying that so bad because it really is true how detrimental the obsession with youth is for so many teens (who are so impressable, making it a recipe for disaster) and young adults. Cause as someone who sometimes struggles with that sentiment still for having had BORING teenage years and still being so socially stunted as a young adult having felt for so long I had failed something along the way, making me feel worse abt myself but like... Truthfully, being young is so boring. I'm thankful for older people in my life constantly telling me that really wanting to hurry up so much is pointless - what do we even expect to do?? Stuff that looks cool in movies? I may be a loser for some, I may think I am a loser sometimes, but according to what and who lol. And I'd rather face these things as a mature adult rather than a pressured, impressable teen... Idk. Sorry if this is just rambling really. But it being pointed out makes me feel better and I hope it makes others feel better too. Especially with the loneliness epidemic of right now :(

no absolutely i get it. as someone who so said had an ''interesting'' highshool/teenager years i can safely say that it really sucks trying to cram so much experience into such little years because like

okay the way i see it is trying to make tyour teenage years jam packed with interesting experiences sucks for when you hit adulthood because adulthood is VERY SLOW and BORING as well. youll get to habe more interesting experiences but thats also because you have like 60-70 years and a lot of power in getting to make those experience, while as a teenager you only have like 5 years of this supposed ''golden time'', and then youre just not prepared for how slow and boring adult life is and you get caught up in nostalgia of the ''old days'' and entirely forget how much it fucking sucked to be a teenager because you only remember the glory moments. like ive done so much as a teenager i wish i could nowadays like drink heavily or break into abandoned houses with friends but those high moments often gloss over my memory of how powerless i felt as a teenager with my problems. so like theres nothing good to come of trying to see your teenage years as the most interesting time of your life and that if you didnt make the best of them youre ''boring'' or ''a loser'' because it just doesnt matter to people except for those who peaked in highschool and can only live caught in their past and their former glory.

its so so so so so SO okay to be a slow grower. the idea of needing to get all your experiences out as a teenager is sooooo stupid and theres no timer on anything in your life that dictates it has to happen before X year, thats just the obsession of youth talking and its tootally normal and okay to not have or do things until way later in life. like for me personally i still get caught up with how many people in their 20s are all getting married and i fall down this sinkhole of ''everyone younger than me is MARRIED but i dont EVEN HAVE A GIRLFRIEND'' before remembering that it doesnt matter. it doesnt matter if i get married age 22 or age 62 they dont have goddamn timers on when its acceptable or cool to have your first kiss or get married ITS THE OBSESSION WITH YOUTH TRYING TO KEEP US DOWN FROM. REJOICE IN DOING THINGS SLOWLY AS AN ADULT

[enelenjoyer]

Soiled Blood | Yan!Enel x Reader [Part 3]

(Heres a note btw, I haven't come to skypiea arc yet so I can only portray his personality and the story in the way wiki explains and how I think it goes so don't get mad at me if somethings false!!) My head hurts... It feels weird.. Somethings covering my body.. A Thin silk blanket and I can feel something cold around my wrists. I feel lightheaded, like something had happened before I woke up here, I don't know what though. It took me a while until I came to my senses and the world became clear. I looked around just to see a familiar man eating an apple on a couch in the same room as me. He seemed to have noticed my glare and flashed a smug smile at me, I wanted to ask him what was going on until he interrupted me saying, "You're finally awake. How do you like the cuffs I got you?" and then chuckling after. I'm

confused.. Why am I cuffed? "Sorry sir but um.. who are you exactly and where am I?.." I asked awkwardly. I noticed his expression change from smug to shocked and immediately after change to even more smug. "We had an argument, you ran away, ran into some bandits and you hit in the head so hard you lost your memories. I told you to stay inside but you didn't want to listen." ━━━━━━━ My head was spinning around and I was so confused of everything. "Oh, sorry.. but.. who are you?.. who are you to me?" He looked at me with a normal expression, seemed to be lost in thoughts before he hesitantly said, "God of this land and your S/O." 'Wow.. I have a partner and he's a god?.. I didn't even remember that..?' My hand wanted to move to the side to help me get up until I remembered there were handcuffs there. "I forgot to ask... why am I handcuffed..?" I asked in confusion. He got up and was now coming towards my direction. He sat down on the bed I was laying on and said, "So the same incident doesn't happen again." In a dark voice. "You're much safer here, you have everything you need to live. And if you want something you'll have to make yourself worthy enough for the thing you want, like for example, behave and I just might get you some nice clothes." He finished. I struggled a bit to get up from my sleeping position but eventually got up and scooted over to him. "So.. If I behave well enough will you get rid of these cuffs..?" I asked only to get a glare from him and make him leave. ━━━━━━━ It's been a week and so far its very nice here. Servants are by my side at all times and the god, no, Enel spoils me with so many expensive and nice stuff. But something still feels strange about this entire thing. It feels comforting being around Enel but theres still that one little thought at the back of my head repeating "You have to run away." It's been bothering me ever since I woke up here and it just doesn't go away. Working on my novel all I could think about was how odd that small feeling of wanting to run away was still stuck and what he would do if he found out as I finished the novel I was working on. "I'll just try to forget about these thoughts." I said. "And now to show Enel my wonderful writing!" I continued with glee in my voice. Little did I know he was standing right outside my rooms door listening to what I was saying. -ENEL POV: 'Somethings bothering her.' I thought as I entered her room. "Ooohh! Perfect timing!" She smiled widely. 'She's gonna be the death of me.' I said to myself as she approached and opened her mouth saying, "Thanks for letting me write without the cuffs on. They were hurting my wrists, look at the marks they left!" She continued, "Anyway! I finished the novel I told you about! Wanna see it?" ━━━━━━━

I sat and listened to her reading until one of the sentences she read randomly reminded me of what she was talking about before I entered the room. "Y/N." "Mm?" "What did you mean when you said "I'll just forget about these thoughts." I said with my eyes glaring right back at hers when I noticed a sudden expression change on her face. She looked dark, shadow was covering her eyes a little. She looked like she was thinking of something, looking like she lost connection to reality. "Erm.. anyway!. Athena stood there petrifi-" "You didn't answer me." I said "I was just uh thinking about something I forgot to do until I realized the servants would handle it, nothing serious.."

'The lie was painfully obvious.' He thought to himself. "Then tell me what it was." At this point you began sweating and beads of sweat were running down your face down to your neck. You quickly thought of an excuse only realizing it was embarrassing but worth using to save yourself from the situation you were in. "It's embarrassing.." "What do you mean?" "Uh.. stuff I forgot to prepare for my period?.." You said like it was a question. You looked down at the floor in shame and in embarrassment. Who knew you were a good actor? "O" He simply said. "Yea uh.. I forgot to prepare pads and my period had already came so I was very worried. Sorry if I made you worried though!!"

'Now I know what she meant by embarrassing..' 'But something still felt odd though' he thought.

[bunnychargebolt]

Im going to give my parents shaken baby syndroms Im- hhhhhhhh vent :3 (gonna put any warning stuffs in tags)

I am so just- am eepy. I want to sleep. It is fucking 2:30 in the morning. But I cannot! Because I am hungry! And my body is fucking not doing good! And I can not do anything about it because I do not have food.

But for whatever reason!! My mother!! Who eats the least in this household!! Continually has her stuff stocked!! She fucking- eats like two of the jif to go cups of peanut butter for lunch. And that is like- her lunch. And that just fucking works for her. Which is because she got fucking weight loss surgery.

Im

Hhhhhhhhhhhh

I do not have enough food. And honestly I probably havent had enough food in months. Because instead of eating i sleep. Because my body shuts down. And I am trying *so hard* to get across to my parents that I need food. I am- hhhhh honestly prolly qualifying as anorexic speaking strictly on eating patterns. Which ik for sure my mom is.

And also my irl friend keeps talking about hes gonna starve himself. And im- hhhhh. Theres so many fucking tjings going on with him and theyre bad and I havent talked about them and im going to fucking lose my mind. But thats not even what im focused on right now.

I dont know if i can continue physical therapy. Because it is not guaranteed that i have food. And my parents say that money is tight. But my mother is constantly getting a bunch of stuff. And we have so much shit. And im- i camt handle all of this.

I cant ask for anything without being told that im asking for a lot. My mom ordered in dinner for me and my brother the other night bc she got a thing through work and i asked for what I know would be enough for me and I got told that thats too expensive. Which i understand. The cost of shit is fucking insane. But there is so much fucking focus on cost and portion size and “oh tjat costs too much” “oh youre asking for a lot” “dont forget that this is what a portion size” and even fucking talk of like calories and checking even though i ask for that to not happen.

People tell me to take some of their food because they have plenty and I get it but Im fucking terrified. My mom had locked up a shit ton of food when i was a kid including freezers. Which to this day still have the locks by them. And if im caught she wont hesitate to do it again. I cant go through that again.

I know I cant really get out. Im genuinely scared of my parents. I- cant. I cant get out. I cant leave stuff. Im terrified. Fuck i don’t remember ever not being scared of my mom in some capacity. And my dads way more passive but sometimes he yells and I just- cant do it. And i hate that what they do works. I get shoved into being this fucking doormat of a person.

Honestly I dont think I ever really got to be a person. I still dont super feel like one. I dont have complete control over myself. I dont feel like i have free will. Which sucks. I wanma be my own person. I wanna learn what itd feel like to be able to be myself for even a day. Im- just lost a lot of the time.

The only good thing I know for sure is coming out of this is that I know my depression medication works. Im pretty sure most of my issues with functioning are from malnutrition issues. And im def not suicidal or having thoughts of sh which is really nice!! Plus I know I have a very supportive group of friends online that I love very much

Wuheiwhe speaking of friends- angy about irl friend. He fucking- complained to me that he gets upset when i vent about shit at home cause hes gonna get kicked out when he turns 18. Which likw- i get it. The threat of being homeless is horrible. But if your thought process while you have fucking unwatched access to a credit card and can essentially have whatever the fuck you want while im saying i dont fucking have food at home is “well at least you have a home” IS FUCKING INSANE. Especially because you have already gathered almost $1000 in cash amd still have like 11 months to figure shit out. Your future situation sucks but that should not take away empathy for my current situation??? Where i am??? Not getting fed enough???

I understand that your homelife is shit and your family is fucked. However, you almost never get told no. Which is really fucking obvious!!! Because you wont take any of my nos for an answer!!! And tbh youre kinda financially abusive!!! I hear how you talk to your bf which is fucking insane and i hate it. And when you talk about how you pay for gas when im using my parents cars and they need to be filled and i say were driving around too much and using a lot of gas you go “well its my gas” No!! It isnt!! That is not how that works!! And just because you pay for the fucking gas WHEN YOU HAVE ME DRIVING FUCKING ALL OVER THE PLACE BECAUSE I LITERALLY CANNOT GWT YOU TO UNDERSTAND IM SAYING NO does not kean you pay for the rest of the fucking car!!! You also!! Make jokes about taking back gifts!! Because you paid for them!! Which is shitty as fuck!! And its not even your fucking koney its your grandmas money and you got fucking pissed and bitchy when Ive mentioned that when talking about it being different when one of our friends took advantage of us for money because you are just handed it and the stuff i had i workwd for, in a job that started the decline of my physical wellbeing. Its not the same fucking thing.

Im

Shaking. I want to scream. I cant. Handle everything. I dont want to have to be here and dealing with all of this.

And anothwr fucking tjing about ky friend- he gets pissy when me or his boyfriend accidentally leave garbage in his room. Which i get a little but then he doesnt take care of it either!! And then he has shit there all the time!! Including multiple unfinished starbucks drinks that have grown mold!!! Why do you keep getting the biggest fucking size when you know damn well you wont drink it.

And you keep fucking- i cant play therapist for you. You cannot constantly come crying to le about your bf and talking about how you should break up with him AND THEN GET KAD AT ME FOR SUGGESTING YOU BREAK UP WITH HIM

Im not- i cant. Im

Im violently angry. And i want to sleep. Amd i wamt to be able to have food. And i want my oarents to love me and understand me. Or even fucking- to try. At all. I want my physical wellbeing to matter. But it doesnt. In multiple different ways. And its all just so bad all the time and i try and tune it out but it slips through.

Im having trouble remember things. Its bad. Im- i cant use my brain as well as i know i should be able to. Im- idk. I just cant fucking deal with this. Except im still going to. Im complaining but theres mot kuch i can change.

I hate feeling like im breaking all the time. I want to be able to be loved and be a person and have a home!!! I have a roof over my head. And i appreciate that so much. But this is absolutely not a home. And its very much not welcoming for me. And I just- I perpetually have the feeling of “i want to go home” with no home to go to. And its been like that for most of my life. And I just- really want to have a home.

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

How their female version would be like Ft. Seijoh & Fukurodani & Nekoma

Fandom:Haikyuu Pairings:Iwaizime,Oikawa,Bokuto,Akaashi,Kenma,Kuroo X Gn!reader Genre:Fluff,Smut,Crack Format:Headcanons Warnings:Nsfw content,kinda suggestive,mentions of women's private part,mentions of scissoring, dom/switch/bottom characters Word Count:1.3K A/n: I don't know why im doing this but I am so don't forget to like this shit 🙂 used she/her pronouns for the characters,not proofread,English isn't my main language so spare me if theres any mistakes in the text below

Part one with Karasuno

↬Kenma

-Loooooneeeer lmao

-shes like the shy girl whos always distance from everyone (except for her bff,Kuroo)

-shes actually a really cute girl <: has the same hair style as her male version, except that now she has cute bee/kitty hair clipses on -

-shes not eye catching,tbh.always trying to avoid everyones attention and drowns herself in her videogames

-boys recognize her as "the cute,shy girl whos always running away from having conversations"

-and they have a point lmao (remember when Kageyama started asking random questions from Ken?like that)

-I think she'll be around 162 cm tall

-lmao I just cant picture her in bed

-ok but im telling you she wont suck your dick (if you have one lol)

-she just seems like the kinda type who would turn your request down.she doesn't like doing it

-shes quiet in bed🥺just lets out quiet whimpers and silent moans

-am I the only person who thinks she has the tightest,prettiest pussy ever? 🚶🏻‍♀️

-she'll be frustrated if you eat her out

-her expression is soooooo wholesome T^T

-will be blushing like heck while desperately pushing your head down to her pretty little pussy

-she might not show it,but she likes your company.a lot.specially if you play her favorite games with her

-her head on your shoulder,her tongue out of her mouth due to overfocusing, playing like her life depends on it with a serious face. you were so attracted to her at her cute expression that you didn't even pay attention to the game and lost after 20 seconds

-she excitedly turned her face to your direction,and met with your thirsty lips that were craving for the taste of her

-after a few seconds of shock,she closed her eyes,arms rapping around your neck as she lied on the bed under her

-it was supposed to be a "gaming night",but turned out to be something more <3

↬Kuroo

-this bitch lmao

-cocky brat

-gives me switch/dom vibes :D

-always talks back at you,and lets be honest,nothing turns you on more than that

-shes 168 cm tall,maybe?

-has short hair,reaches under her shoulders while a bit of it covers her right eye

-which leads you to gently push them behind her ear to see that mfucking gorgeous face of hers 😤

-shes actually nice.might be cocky,might be a hard ass,but shes nice

-youre stubborn too ofc,but the minute she smiles at you then gives you a quick peck on the lips youre on your knees for her

-everybody knows hes yours.she made it clear herself,and youre greatfull for that

-likes to play with your hair :) your head on her lap while watching some romantic movie as you sense her fingers digging into your hair,gently caressing it T^T

-Yaku is her best friend after Kenma.sure,they argue a lot and compete with each other on everything,but that weirdly led into a strong friendship that was unnoticed by so many people,especially themselves

-rough sex in the shower

-omg help

-hardcore scissoring sessions? check✅

-if you have pussy tho lmao

↬Iwaizumi

-lmao idk

-shes a tough one bitches ok?

-but she has a soft spot for people she cares about,and youre definitely one of them so don't worry :D

-SHORT OR MEDIUM SIZED HAIR.MESSY,DARK BROWN HAIR

-shes so fucking slim.like everybodys dreaming to hook up with her,but they already know what the answer is

-a big NO

-why the fuck would she even let people near her when she has you?

-doesn't hit Oikawa that much anymore.only aims the back of her head and smacks her XD (yup Oiks is a girl too)

-"Focus,shittykawa;or im sending all of your lame pics to your s/o" "so mean to me,Iwa-chan!!!what did I ever do to ya?"

-her height is about 164 cm

-likes to be the big spoon,but sometimes she needs to receive affection the way she deserves ok?

-staring at each others eyes while being intimate? check✅

-youre literally one of the only people shes able to keep her guard down around them

-looks pissed all the time and is kinda scary,but shes actually a sweetheart <3

-burries her face in the crook of your neck when being the big spoon,kissing your sensitive neck while telling you how much you mean to her :)

↬Oikawa

-its shittykawas turn now XD

-popular

-POPULAR

-POPULARRRRRRRRR

-Its really annoying tbh.like shes your girl,but everyone still tries to play dumb,deny that fact and hit on her

-which is why you asked Iwaizumi to teach you how to fight,just in case that things (your jealousy) gets outta hand

-shes a bottom :>

-a naughty one hehe

-has long hair,like…it reaches her hips,and its always down

-you love her hair.love to bruch it for her when shes being lazy in the morning,or smell the strawberry-scented shampoo on it while cuddling at night

-her heights around…166 cm?

-has so many exes,and since theyre attending the same school/university as you,youre always running to them while hanging out with her in the yard

-sooooooooo annoying

-loves to receive gifts from you.sure,she always gets stuff from her fans,but with you…its different

-is a pro in bed,and has definitely lost her virginity before you

-being her s/o is really challenging,but its worth it,cuase you get to date the most amazing,sweetest girl in the world

↬Bokuto

-clingyyyyyyyy

-in a really cute way

-like god shes like literally the cutest creature in the whole fucking world

-loves hugs.loves kisses.loves any type of affection I FUCKING MEAN IT

-attacks you with hugs.like,your walking in the hallway and suddenly shes running toward you,jumping on you as you unconsciously wrap your arms around her,preventing her to fall

-"hiiiiiiiiiii babyyyyyyyyyy I missed youuuuuu *mwah!"

-her hair is long,and is always braided into pigtails shape (most of the time by you :>)

-she wont go away if you do not give her morning kisses

-always clinging onto your lap,hiding in your embrace as she places her head onto your chest T^T

-ADORABLE

-shes hot and cute the same time.the type of girl who doesn't really tries to be attractive,but naturally is and has no idea about it

-her height is around 166

-istg your days wont go without her showering you into kisses

-theres no way shell break up with you

-puts you above everything and everyone.youre her first priority

-shes a bottom 🥺 a loud kind of one

-her nonestop compliments has made you develop a praise kink

-likes to wear your clothes and act cute around you <3

-if you don't eat her up I will *-*

↬Akaashi

-please marry her.you will not find anybody better than her I am telling you

-Sooooo mature

-Sooooo nice

-Sooooo sweet

-Sooooo responsible

-Sooooo understanding

-always looks out for you.youre having trouble with something? just leave it to the strong hands of this girl

-shes a giver in bed,and a switch

-shes the "lets bare the pressure together.were gonna get through this.i got you" type of girl :)

-her hair is a bit-just a bit-shorter than Bokutos,and her height is around 164 cm

-this girl is GORGEOUS.have you seen her eyes? HAVE YOU SEEN IT? that damn,ocean eyes,or as Selena Gomez says "swimming,in your eyes in your eyes in your eyes Egyptian blue,something ive never had without you"

-the most delicious neck belongs to this neck.she smells like a fucking banquet of roses, making you lose your mind and go crazy over that white,fine looking neck of hers

-her styles are unique.theyre not fancy,very simple honestly; but somehow she becomes stunning when she wears them.she knows how to match things up

-speaking of matching things,you have matching rings ;)

-which was bought from you.a pair of silver-colored rings,that would look breath taking on her long,pale fingers T^T

-marry her or im stealing her from you istg

reblogs are sooooooo much eppreciated :)

[pocketramblr]

any totk thoughts (just from osmosis bc idk if you've played it)

i haven't played it or really sought out watching it but i still have things from osmosis and i will say them,,,,, under the cut. very disorganized and randomly spoilery etc etc

Things I Would Have Done Differently If I Were Sonia

1- Been named "Zelda" instead. (nin10do you COWARDS are you really scared to have two different characters separated by untold generations named zelda NOW??? NOW YOU THINK THATS CRINGE???? fool. You did that in your first ever sequel and it was amazing. now you look scared and stupid. kill the part of you that cringes instead. In my head her name is Zelda and i dont care.)

2- not married that fake "Rauru". Like. OG Rauru is a cool fat ancient sage with an animalsona who protects the nukes away from everyone else and when you accidentally mess it up he hides and keeps you safe until you can go fix it. This new one is some imperialist that everyone is sooo obsessed with because his waist is snatched now. Or maybe i'll be more generous and say it's because they're furries that's more fair. But still like. Please there are others to simp over. he was all "oh im the first king of hyrule' and i was like 'oh.... no you're not'

(its actually ok that we have um. yet another first king of hyrule. Because we can have 3 first kings of hyrule, since we have 3 iterations of ganondorf now too. but we should still have 3 first zeldas. and we only have 2. because they messed up sonia. come on it would have been all NICE AND CLEAN AND BALANCED if there were 3 first kings, 3 first zelda, and 3 ganondorfs. This is the series about 3!!!!! but.... well perhaps next game we can have a third first zelda. perhaps i can be patient.)

(also love that we have a 3rd ganondorf. do you know how often i had to explain he does in fact reincarnate and that fsa ganondorf is a different one from oot? but now everyone knows theres more than one but less than the number of links even if they dont know exactly how many ganondorfs there are so. close enough! now ill just pretend he had a 3rd seperate origin story as well instead of 2 origins shared between 3 come on let the guy have something.)

This is unrelated but I think the Zonai are the evolutionary link between Ooca and the botw!Rito (since they did not evolved from the zora like ww!Rito). They look kinda dinosaur-y to me. i guess they're supposed to look kinda goat-y too? and rabbit-y???? i dunno i think they're generally fun. And also might be the results of unethical sheikah experimentation yeah i don't forget the temple of shadow............

OH and im very glad (our) Link wasn't the hero from the tapestry with Zonia. theres apparently some other Zonai hero with red hair who's briefly in it? i wish that Zonai was also named Link and got more to show but i was really not a fan of time-looping this poor link too, he had enough of that with the 100 year nap. if i can't have a gerudo link, at least we have a zonai hero maybe

but also in sooooo many fics i reserve the right to completely ignore this game. if it doesn't fit where i planned it didn't happen. this is like hyrule warriors to me. in another timeline.

LOVE all the yiga stuff and getting to fight with friends now. its what link deserves and his friends deserve. LOVE LOVE that Zelda and Link are so codependent there's not a word in the hylian language for them. i am a qpr truther for this particular zelink but i think that if these two were offered a way to fuse into a single being they would at least STRONGLY consider it. unhinged. love them.

incredible outfits for link and i love slowly discovering them as art passes my dash.

The way this world is even more open than botw is such a feat, the open engineering is just fabulous. I hope to see a new drone every week. Torturing the koroks is just. its horrible but i laugh every time .kjhghjkkjhjk whyyyyy these poor little tree dudes (*chanting 'crucify this one too' in my head*)

the way this game tried to both continue the botw 'honoring past games' and did a new 'gaslight you about the other games never happening' is a wild balance. Like, TWINROVA SHOWED UP??? in what i think is a very subtle detail in a memory??? maybe there's more of them in the game but it seems to be the same level as like 'hero of the winds' mentioned plus some salt around hyrule. excellent love that. but i also just saw a post gushing about how great it was that this game made this link theeeee most important specialist hero eeeever and the master sword was only ever for him and um. i just hope that isn't true. i think this game should add and not take away.

but hey twinrova showed up and there was that cool goth gerudo too!! i stan her.

oh and redeads in gerudo town or whatever it was? AMAZING. gerudo town was all spared from the calamity in the first game with no guardians making past the desert so having the town taken over and terrifying with the upheaval is just a good show of stakes stepping up.

OH!!!! and my number one favorite thing is that Link can make a drink that he was too young to order in botw. funniest possible thing that dude can do.