#these questions rock

[heraldofcrow]

0 for Eileen

I know you want to answer all of these for her lol

Oh thank you so much, you are so right!! Let’s do it!!!

—

(1) Oh Lord, she is so on Facebook to casually chat with old friends. It’s like all she uses, and she joins groups for gardening, herbal remedies, DIY projects, and a few of her old school Goth music fan groups for old times sake.

She’ll occasionally share some picture of a plant or dog and just write “Cool plant.” or “Saw a dog.” but nothing else lol. She offers really good advice to kids in all the groups, but it’s always really emotionless and factual.

She only shows some slight emotion in her posts when she shares a picture of Bloody Crow as he is growing up. It’ll be like, “He just learned to do a backflip. Proud :)” and then that’s it. She’s an old bird, but she handles social media fairly well. Everyone loves her stoic Goth mom energy.

(2) God, I honestly can’t think of any animals. There’s this one…it’s like a black bird or something…but damn…I dunno my memory evades me. I’ll have to think on this one ;)

(3) BEST. DESIGN. EVER. Plague doctor mask with a crow cape? FromSoft was so based for this. I adore how ambiguous and genderless it is, but also with that slight bit of bling in the bell necklace!! It’s so cute. I also noticed that Eileen carries basically a surgeon’s kit on her belt, which is such a cool detail. Her aesthetic is basically my whole personality. Oh, and she totally fills the beak mask with lavender and rosemary by the way. It’s canon to me.

(4) Eileen is actually a surprisingly good sleeper. She used to not be, but over the years, she started just…falling asleep even while standing up. I think she goes up to the rooftops to watch sunsets over the city and then just crashes out. On hunting nights, she is fine staying up all night and sleeping when the sun rises, but she prefers to rest when the sun goes down and get up at the crack of dawn. A certain apprentice of hers hates that because he always stays up all night.

The only thing that’s funny about Eileen is that she’s way more energetic with four hours of sleep instead of seven or eight. Nobody really knows why. She’s just built different.

Her eating habits are hilariously endearing. She snacks on random things all day, but when dinner comes, she wants to eat something substantial, so she usually makes a traditional curry dish from her homeland with a lot of spice.

It’s her absolute favorite and she puts way too much spice in it. Most people would choke on it, but Eileen just loves the heat. She’s actually really good at making it too, even if her preferences are extreme. I just think the weather in Yharnam is generally pretty frigid and miserable, so a hot, spicy pot of curry is Eileen’s go-to dinner. She’ll also insist on making it for anyone that’s sick.

On an actual more physical level, Eileen is very expressive via body language rather than verbal communication. She’s really in sync with nature and animals, so she’ll quietly observe and feed little critters where she can. Birds are obviously her favorite, but she’ll also help out little stray pups and cats if she has the chance. They all trust her because even though she looks terrifying, her quiet aura and gentle movement is pretty calming.

She’s almost like a ghost drifting through her environment, but not one that’s malevolent. She used to be a doctor, so her appreciation for life and the respect for death is all there. She’ll nurse a broken bird back to life, but then carry out the necessary mercy killing for a blood-drunk hunter and honor them in death. Her silent expressions of kindness are seen in both the grim duty she carries, and the peaceful world she knows beyond it.

Cutting here, because it gets long as hell—

(5) Eileen used to be the ultimate loner that avoided any sort of attachment. It was something she believed was necessary after losing her family at a young age, and so even when she was a doctor, she would avoid letting herself open up to her patients. She wanted to be prepared to lose them, to lose anyone. Even her old Crow mentor, who had been like a brother to her as a child, was someone she directly told to be aware of her preparedness for his death. They actually agreed that neither one would ever compromise a mission to save each other. If death was coming for them, then that was it.

Then a certain little crow came into Eileen’s life, and for the first time since she was a child, she started actually…feeling again. Her emotions became a little more obvious, and she started noticing little pangs in her heart that suggested that dreaded thing we call attachment. She ignored and tried to suppress it for a long time, but it wouldn’t go away.

Naturally this caused a lot of issues in her Crow world that I won’t go into now, but later on, in her old age—Eileen finally let it go. She started to befriend some of the hunters in Yharnam like Gascoigne and Henryk, and was a little more chill about being seen as a normal person and not just an untouchable assassin.

She was also more open to the possibility of finding someone to settle down with in her retirement, but after being basically alone her entire life, there is no way she would know how to approach such a thing. Granted, she wouldn’t expect much, and probably would just be happy with someone that was okay with a simple, mellow kind of life.

This older version of Eileen was actually well-liked by her comrades in Yharnam, and her watchful, tranquil presence was somewhat of a relief for certain hunters. Sure enough, some were still scared of her, but most knew she wasn’t a bad person and actually appreciated what she would do for them if they ended up blood-drunk. Eileen was just Eileen to them, and there wasn’t much to dislike.

(6) Eileen’s greatest fear was growing attached to someone and losing them. It just was. I imagine she was really young when her family was lost, so there was this cynical side to her that believed that a lot of pain would have been abolished if she had been “wiser” about how life worked. Every regret in her life stemmed from letting herself care and then feeling the anguish when whoever she cared for was taken away. It was her weakest point, and that’s why she tried to rid herself of emotional connections.

That also means that she didn’t deal with anger very well, because it was another thing she tried to suppress, so if she ever exploded, it was shocking. She wasn’t known for having a bad temper at all, but if she buried something for too long, she would have to go into the woods and scream it all out to feel better.

Her talents outside of her obvious skill as a Crow are actually pretty cute. She can sew really well, she juggles, she knows how to work with herbs/oils and make medicinal flasks, she’s actually really good at braiding her hair/tying knots, she can play certain types of flute, she’s good at carving and make little knives like it’s nothing, her outdoor survival skillset is carefully honed, and she makes really good tea.

She just has gathered little skills and talents like this that give her hands something to do, and her mind something to focus on. She finds it incredibly stimulating, and it’s part of the reason why she was such a good doctor before becoming a Crow.

I know I already talked about regrets too, but I want to say—Eileen’s biggest life regret is over what happened to Bloody Crow, because it’s not only about growing attached and losing someone, but it’s also about not being able to save someone from their own darkness in time. That is her greatest tragedy, her greatest regret, and something she never thought she’d have to go through, so I imagine the end of her life would have been trying to find healing from that.

(7) Eileen/Djura is literally one of my top Bloodborne ships these days and it only got amplified recently by @lizteaart who showed me the even deeper potential. It’s also kind of the only ship I consider for Eileen too. I just think it makes so much sense. Djura and Eileen are around the same age, they both are lovable weirdoes with kind hearts, and they are just badass together. Total crackship, but to me…Eileen and Djura chilling on Yharnam rooftops and chatting is so canon. I love them <3

(8) Well, I think Eileen’s connection to Bloody Crow might actually be canon, so that’s the obvious one, but besides that, I imagine she knew Djura like I mentioned. Also, I think she was friends with the Gascoigne family, and would hang out with them on hunting nights, sometimes bringing some gifts for Viola and the girls. She truly was the old crow mother to that family.

I don’t think she was super close to any of the Church hunters, but knew Ludwig briefly because of formerly crossed paths. Gehrman was someone Eileen worked with both when she dreamed and a bit before when the workshop was just being established. However, they were more like acquaintances than anything.

Eileen loved the Doll and brought her little flowers and herbs when she could. She just really appreciated the kind caretaker that was always such a therapeutic sight.

Valtr and Logarius were two faction leaders that Eileen considered enemies and not people she would ever associate with. Both were too unhinged and violent, throwing aside all true codes of honor in Eileen’s eyes. She definitely avoided them, and condemned their work if they crossed paths.

I think the Choir and Mensis people were kind of like, “those weird scholars” that Eileen just mostly ignored and stayed away from. She knew about Archibald and his gang of Yahar’gul criminals, but tried to stay out of their business to avoid bloodshed. No one really knew what they were up to around that time, and Eileen decided against finding out because she didn’t want to compromise her work or those involved with her.

Aside from all this, she obviously had her Crow mentor and people she had known as a child, but they were all lost as time went on. Her strongest relationship was with little Crow, and Djura later on.

(9) Eileen’s past is pretty elaborate in my head, but here’s the summary of it.

She was from a region near that obviously Tibet-coded area where the first HOH came from that you could basically consider Nepal. Her family fled the country because of an ancient “beast curse” that had spread from lost Loran. The curse, which is obviously the same plague in Yharnam, was really prevalent in these “hinterland” regions.

So, Eileen grew up in a place that I think was essentially in England, and spent a large part of her childhood there. However, she adored visiting her grandparents in the Hinterlands and spent winters there in order to see them.

Her parents and siblings didn’t approve because they were sure she would get sick from the plague eventually. Eileen was stubborn though, and continued to spend time in her homeland. This is also where she met her later Crow mentor, who was actually the nephew of the first HOH.

Then one day, when she was about 14, Eileen returned to her Totally Not English home, and found out her family was sick. Both parents, and her siblings. The beast plague had spread to the northern regions through traveling contraction.

Eileen’s family, in a state of extreme paranoia, believed that she was the sick one and that it was her fault for visiting her homeland so much. They cast her out and abandoned her, ensuring that she no longer had a home or family, but in an ironic twist, they all turned into beasts a week later.

Eileen tried to save them and was attacked, leaving her no choice but to kill them all. The little sparring and rifle training she had received from her soon-to-be mentor paid off, and she put her family members out of their misery. Her first mercy kills.

Needless to say, this was traumatizing, and the guilt sent her into a horrible spiral of depression and borderline madness. The only thing that saved her was becoming a doctor in her homeland, trying to save people from the spreading beast plague.

She did this for years, and then was eventually approached by her Crow mentor, who offered to train her and let her take up the mantle of a Crow. She did, and they moved to the Yharnam region to be closer to the great healing city in its early days, where scholars and hunters alike were striving to “save humanity.”

And that, in my headcanon, is how Eileen became a Crow.

(10) The content I always want to see more of is Eileen and Bloody Crow interactions, haha. I want all the interpretations of their relationship, and I don’t care how different they are from mine. GIMME.

I’d also love to see more of Eileen and Djura because that’s an underrated pairing, honestly <3

—

Ok whew! This was a lot, but thank you so much for letting me rant about Eileen!! I needed it, omg. I think so much about her and her story. It just means so much to me, this damn birb mom 🥺

[plutonicbees]

since comic!hobie killed the u.s. president, do u think atsv!hobie killed the queen

[pencilscratchins]

when you think about it uptown girl is really quite a lesbian song. no further questions at this time

[nelkcats]

Refuge

Danny was not retired, technically he came when people needed him, he helped or protected them as the case may be. It just turned out that over the years they stopped needing him.

And that was fine, it meant humanity could take care of itself, it meant they were safe. That was what had to matter, no matter that deep down, the halfa was hurt by the information.

It was harder to accept change when you weren't part of it. Danny was immortal, eternal, and powerful, things that no longer fit the world. Not with all the heroes and wizards running around, not with Amity Park fading away, becoming nothing more than a part of his memories.

He fit in perfectly in the Realms, sure, but he knew that if he stayed there too long he'd stop feeling human, and that was dangerous.

So, no, Danny wasn't retired. But he lived in a simple house in Metropolis, though sometimes he got tired of Superman being able to hear literally everything and moved to his house in Fawcett. He used to switch between the two houses frequently, not that it was difficult since he had figured out how to make portals.

He had a few friends, like the orphan boy who lived at the train station and Conner, a teenager who sometimes just needed a house to stay in when he couldn't stand his father.

Neither Conner nor Billy minded his age, which was comforting, although they both got curious when he visited the other house. Danny didn't know how to explain that Eternity Rock and Superman made him nervous if he stayed too long (he didn't like feeling watched), so he just shrugged and told them he had two houses.

Neither of the kids understood but they accepted it. They both had a habit of calling him "Uncle", Danny thought it was odd, given that his appearance wasn't exactly...adult, but it seemed they were comfortable with that, and he left them alone.

Apparently his house (occupied or not) had become a haven for them. Danny always greeted them with a sandwich, or cookies, even though he felt like a grandmother doing so. He smiled for the first time in years, feeling happy to fit into someone's life.

That's why it was quite disconcerting to find the Justice League outside his door asking him to join them. Danny chuckled internally, because the current heroes actually believed they could force him into something, but he accompanied them anyway.

Superboy and Captain Marvel scowled at the League as soon as they entered the Watchtower, when they were told they were bringing in a "dangerous individual" they didn't expect to see their unofficial uncle.

[dreamdripdistance]

just like me fr...

[syn0vial]

shane in unsolved/ghost files: unnervingly fearless, irreverent, acts like a cartoon villain, called a demon/psychopath/robot, etc.

shane in puppet history: what if we didn't characterize the Chicxulub asteroid as a destructive aggressor bent on ending life on earth but instead as an innocent bystander just as inescapably bound by cosmic forces as we on earth are? how would it feel, going through it's entire existence falling through the infinite void and then to have its last moments to be filled with the vibrant, awe-inspiring beauty of earth hurtling up towards it? would it be joyful? nervous? or would it be just as terrified of its inevitable end as all the doomed little creatures below? 🥺

also shane in puppet history:

[aethersea]

it is funny though how kids' shows are so so so careful about death, no one's ever killed except MAYYYYBE the big bad, all those random side characters are fine, here have a quick shot of them before we leave just so you know they really did survive that 50-foot drop into a stormy sea,

and meanwhile kids' books nearly all agree that it's not an adventure until it has a body count.

[amaliatheartist]

So let's fade away together one dream at a time

[mebssann]

shirt day

[poorlittleyaoyao]

PLYMOUTH ROCK CHICKEN??????

Viki plz they don’t even have Massachusetts

[introspectivememories]

i think one of the reasons i really like bernard and darla is because they met him at a time when he wasn't robin. to me, tim drake has always felt like an amalgamation of robin and tim. and he's good at it y'know? being tim drake and robin but when bernard and darla meet him at grieves he can't be robin. he has to just be tim drake. and he's obviously struggling but he tries for his father. and that's so interesting to me because who is tim drake without robin? he obviously doesn't know either. and we see him explore this in urban legends. he even asks himself in urban legends, "who am i if i'm not robin?" and i don't think it's too much of a surprise that at the end of urban legends, when he's figured out what he wants, he chooses the boy who only ever knew him as tim drake.

[raynewolfegirl]

Meta Jazz, the Arkham Intern Therapist Pt 2.1

Note: The writing bug bit me while wading through the comments and replies so you guys get more! 😁 Special thanks to @the-scarecrow-of-aus & @starlightcat04 for helping spark this continuation!

Also, so you're not confused, this part is from Kon's POV and backtracks to before the Bane incident to explain how Kon started going undercover in Arkham. Pt 2.2 has the Bane incident from Kon's POV.

~*~*~

When Kon got the call from Tim asking if he'd be willing to do a favor for him, he hadn't expected it to be an undercover assignment in the infamous Arkham Asylum itself.

"You want me to do what?" He asked staring at Tim in disbelief once he reached the Nest to debrief.

"Go undercover as a new guard in Arkham." Tim repeated with a deadpan expression looking over his shoulder at Kon from his computer chair. Holy fuck, his eyebags were bad. 

"Have you slept in the past week, Tim?" Kon asked, taking in his best friend's appearance.

Tim frowned at the question. 

"I don't see how that's relevant but yes." He answered, heartbeat unchanging. Which didn't really mean anything since it was Tim but Kon decided he'd believe him. 

For now. 

Kon sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Okay, I'll do it." He said. "Can you tell me why we need someone undercover at least?" 

Tim eyes widened, startled by the question like he was surprised Kon didn't know yet even though Tim hadn't told him yet. Okay, deep breaths, calm down, Tim clearly hasn't slept in at least two days. Kon coached himself as his temper flared up at the evidence that Tim wasn't taking care of himself again. All the Supers agreed: sometimes you just wish you could beat some sense into the Bats and make them take care of themselves like normal human beings.

"Ah. Right." Tim said, turning back to the computer and pulling up some files as he explained. "Two thing have occured within roughly fifteen days of each other that together are rather suspicious. First, Dr. Thomas Rylie, Jonathan Crane's undergraduate roommate and classmate throughout undergrad and grad school, was hired to work as one of the new in house psychiatrists at Arkham Asylum. They also got their doctorates from the same school during the same time frame and both focused on the impact fear has on the brain. Dr. Rylie's focus was on fear conditioning and Dr. Crane's focus was on fear responses." Well, that sounds suspicious. 

"Second, Gotham University lost their minds and began an undergraduate and graduate internship program partnering with Arkham Asylum." 

Kon went cold. They did what?

Pictures of the Asylum, University, and three people -presumably Scarecrow, Dr. Rylie, and a young woman- filled the computer screen now. 

"The internship program has only one applicant so far and she'd already started working at the Arkham. Her name is Jasmine Fenton and her background is...sparse, to say the least." Tim turned in his chair to face Kon.

"I'm too recognizable in Gotham and among the rogues to successfully go undercover in Arkham so I've set you up with an apartment and ID as 'Kyle Jennings.' You're scheduled to start work at Arkham as a new guard tomorrow morning."

"Okay," Kon said with a nod. "What do you need confirmed? What are the primary objectives?" He prodded Tim again since his friend's sleep deprived brain seemed to think that was enough information for debriefing. It wasn't. Definitely not. A lot was implied but it wouldn't be the first time Tim had completely different intentions than what Kon had understood from his briefing. Sleep deprived Tim frequently assumed others could read his mind or something. Sleep deprived Tim was wrong.

"We need to determine if Dr. Rylie is here working for Scarecrow as part of some new scheme. We need to determine if Jasmine Fenton is complicit. We need to know if Gotham U is also in on it. And we need to find out what exactly Scarecrow is the planning." Tim stated automatically as he ticked each one off on his fingers.

"Got it. Guess I'll head over to my new apartment then and start prepping for tomorrow." Kon said, heading towards the exit. Tim hummed in agreement waving a hand in his direction as he left. That dumbass was probably already absorbed in the next case. Kon sighed, hopefully Tim would at least pass out sometime later tonight.

~*~*~

Kon's first day at Arkham wasn't anything special. He didn't see Jasmine, Dr. Rylie, or Scarecrow. He didn't see any rogues or doctors at all. It was just a really Gotham kind of orientation. 

"This is where we keep a cache of stun grenades, long-range scope rifles, tranquilizer rounds, and rubber bullets." His new supervisor and guide through orientation, Alex Fhizer, said as he showed Kon how to access, inventory, lock, and re-conceal the cache. "Everytime you pass by a cache on patrol, you will check the inventory again and sign off on it with the date and time. If anything is different from the previous inventory entry, you will immediately radio the tower and the island will be put on lockdown." Greyish Hazel eyes peered out of a weathered face staring Kon down. "You will never neglect to inventory a cache while on patrol. You will never neglect to report an inventory discrepancy. The first time you do you will be fired immediately and you can count yourself damn lucky if that's all that happens to you." 

Fhizer was intense, man.

"Yes, Sir." Kon answered. Fhizer's hard look lasted another long moment before the older man gave a firm nod and continued showing Kon the ropes.

~*~*~

The second day was no where near as chill as the first. Hell, his brain was already starting to warp, there hadn't been anything chill about that orientation.

Kon started his second day by boarding the Arkham transport bus with the rest of the staff and early morning visitors to the island. That was where he saw Jasmine Fenton in the flesh for the first time. 

She has got to be part Amazonian, was his first thought upon seeing her. She was around 6ft tall with a thick mane of red hair tightly braided reaching all the way down to her waist. Jasmine was wearing teal stud earrings, a silver bangle type bracelet on her left wrist, a white blouse, black slacks, and black flats. She carried a small, clear purse that only held a small notepad, pen, house key, chapstick, and a thin teal wallet that presumably contained her IDs, debit cards, and a small amount of cash. Damn, she was tall.

Kon's concentration was broken by the quiet sound of metal crunching slightly beneath his fingers. He immediately loosened his grip on the hand rail, checking for damage with a wince. He breathed a soft sigh of relief when he saw the damage was almost entirely unnoticeable to the naked eye. He'd have to mind his strength more closely. Kon was too used to the farm and facilities that were all reinforced to handle casual use from people with super strength. 

Tim's notes indicated Arkham wasn't reinforced for super strength anywhere. Not even along the outer walls. The facility had opted to use suppression collars on their meta inmates instead since they were cheaper and easier to repair and replace according to the official reports. However, Tim's notes had also mentioned that Arkham had reinforced the outer walls to account for super strength at one point. They'd poured nearly every dime the facility could spare into the project for months until the Joker himself had taken it personally. The madman had absolutely obliterated the reinforced outer walls until no part of them remained standing. Given Joker had destroyed the walls without having any meta powers at all and his history of viciously attacking -damn near mauling- anyone that tried to put him in a straight jacket, Kon didn't really blame Arkham for stopping while they were ahead.

Kon looked up as the bus jolted to a stop. The other passengers filing off around him. He watched as Jasmine Fenton was met by Dr. Rylie in front of the bus as he waited to disembark. 

"Ms. Jasmine!" Dr. Rylie greeted her enthusiastically with a broad open grin and beaming eyes. He reached towards her with both arms, hands open and she reached back. Their right hands clasped as their left hands landed on the other's upper arms as the two greeted one another openly. Kon wasn't very familiar with intern-mentor relationships nor what would be considered normal or professional for them, but it looked like a rather affectionate greeting for them having been strangers two weeks ago. That was strange, wasn't it? Was Tim right to be worried about them?

"Ms. Jasmine is the first and only applicant for Dr. Rylie, Director Keener, and Dean Byle's hairbrained idea to hire more doctors for this place." One of the older guards that had been standing just behind him on the bus explained having apparently noticed Kon watching the pair.

"They just seemed rather affectionate for Gotham." Kon shrugged dismissively as he turned to look over his shoulder at his new colleague. The shorter man laughed.

"A bit, yeah." He agreed. "I think Dr. Rylie is just desperate for this program to work out." He continued as they finally managed to get off the bus. Dr. Rylie and Ms. Fenton were gone now. "Pretty much everyone's been treating her like a princess." 

"That doesn't seem fair to everyone else." Kon commented, dropping back a bit to let the older man lead the way to the guards room for morning debriefing and to get their assignments. He'd already memorized the layouts but 'Kyle Jennings' shouldn't have yet.

"Who cares about fair as long as it works?" The guard answered. "If treating her like a princess scores more interns for the program in the long run, and if one intern every year ends up interested in sticking around, I'll be happy to cater to every single one of them." He confessed, stopping in the middle of the hall to turn and face Kon directly. Kon glimpsed the name Ryans as the silver name badge flashed the briefly reflecting the overhead lights. "You non-gothamites just don't get it. We're desperate for whatever help we can get." 

"That's why I applied here." Kon lied. "Going to school across the bay, I heard a lot about what went down over here while I was in college. I want to help." 

Ryans gave a short solemn nod then turned and led the rest of the way to the break room. 

~*~*~

Day four undercover was when Kon officially met Jasmine Fenton. 

Everything had been going well so far with his undercover assignment. He'd settled in to the role of Kyle Jennings, been getting along well with his new coworkers including Ryans and Fhizer, and hadn't yet managed to screw up inventorying the caches during the outer patrol loops. That being said, Kon was having other issues.

The worst part of being an unstable Kryptonian clone was that his strength tended to fluctuate. It normally wasn't much of an issue when he was surrounded by reinforced everything in his daily life but here at Arkham it was becoming a problem. Case in point, Kon thought to himself with an exhausted groan as his freshly made coffee mug shattered in his hand.

"Oh come on." He sighed snatching a handful of paper towels from the counter and bending to wipe up the coffee and ceramic shards on the floor. At least he was the only one in the room when it shattered. The door clicked softly behind him and Kon jumped twisting to look. 

Jasmine Fenton stood behind him having just closed the door to the break room after entering.

"What happened here?" She asked, sounding bewildered with slightly wide eyes as she took in the mess on the floor. Thank God. She didn't see it.

"Guess I was a bit more tired than I thought." He said with a forced laugh in order to hide his nerves. "Slipped right through my fingers."

She nodded, accepting his words at face value. 

"I've done that more than a few times close to finals." She admitted. "You guys have 10 hour shifts, right? You must be exhausted. When's your next day off?"

"The day after tomorrow." Kon said. "This is day 3 for me since orientation doesn't count."

"You get 2 days off followed by an on-call day, right?" She asked.

"Right," Kon agreed. "AKA 2 days of freedom and a day chained to the Bowery." He joked.

"Absolutely terrible, they may as well put an ankle monitor on you." She cracked back grinning. Kon snickered. The door opened again.

"I see you found another non-gothamite here." Dr. Rylie said striding into the break room with a wide grin.

"Sounds like that makes three of us." Kon agreed. Outside of Joker, he had never seen a gothamite grin that wide in his life.

"Dr. Thomas Rylie, a pleasure to meet you." Dr. Rylie introduced himself holding out his hand to shake. Kon shook his hand as gently as possible, mindful his strength was on the fritz.

"Kyle Jennings, nice to meet you. I just started as a guard earlier this week." He said then held his hand out to shake Jasmine's.

"Jasmine Fenton, I'm an intern therapist. This is my second week here." She greeted with a warm smile shaking Kon's hand. She didn't say anything about being glad to meet him, Kon noted. It wasn't exactly strange behavior but something made him take note of it anyway. Like by not saying it she was saying she hadn't decided whether meeting him was a good or bad thing yet. Dr. Rylie didn't seem to notice anything off with the interaction though as he went about making his own coffee. The three of them made idle small talk as they made their own coffees. Once his new cup was ready, Kon bid them both goodbye and went on his way. While they were his main objective, lingering too long this early into their aquantiantship would probably be strange.

He had several other small friendly interactions with both of them over the next few days. Taking the time for greetings, small talk, and sharing small bits of casual background info from Kyle Jennings's past to encourage them both to open up to him. He also broke a clipboard, two more coffee cups, several pens, and a doorknob during that time as his strength continued to fluctuate. The doorknob had been particularly embarrassing. He had gone to open the door for Jasmine when he saw her with her arms full of files and somehow managed to twist it in such a way that the screws holding it in place sheered off and the knob came off in his hand. Collins, his partner for building patrol that day, burst out laughing hysterically as Kon stared at the doorknob in horror.

"No worries, man." Collins said, clapping Kon on the shoulder still snickering. "Someone else probably broke it and put it back so they wouldn't get scolded or something."

"Yeah," Kon said with a nervous laugh. "That must be what happened."

Jasmine's eyes flicked between the two of them then she grinned.

"And here I thought you just really hated that door." She teased Kon. He felt his face heat up as Collins laughed at him again.

"It is an ugly door." Collins agreed enthusiastically smirking.

"Terribly ugly. Hideous even," Jasmine said with a smile.

"Possibly even traumatizing to behold," Collins continued to smirk.

"You've got me. I have a deep rooted traumatic fear of metal taupe doors." Kon deadpanned ears burning. Jasmine snickered as Kon got the door open for her and they went their separate ways.

~*~*~

"What have you found so far?" Tim asked. Kon did not have the words to express how much he didn't want to be at the Nest at 3am on his first day off from undercover work. If it was anyone other than Tim he wouldn't have even answered the phone.

"Literally nothing," Kon said dryly. "I am still the newest of newbies at Arkham. I practically spent the whole week being babysat by senior guardsmen." He sighed, reminding himself that it wasn't Tim's fault that he was a little insomniac goblin and that Kon really did love his friend and would be sad if he hurt Tim's feelings. Eventually. When he woke up again in the morning. "I did start befriending them both though. It's slow going since we're in different areas but nearly being the only non-gothamites there seems to be helping me make some headway at least." 

There was one other non-gothamite on staff, a medical nurse named Sharon Earley. She was in her mid-thirties and the most sour and unpleasant person Kon had had the displeasure of meeting so far on Arkham's staff. Not that Kon could blame her for that. Not when she had several large ragged scars spanning from her chin and down both of her arms from when Zsazz had gotten hold of her alone after dark her second year at Arkham. It was a damn miracle she'd survived him. Kon didn't know how she managed it but he wouldn't try to find out either. Ryans had taken him aside right before he first met Nurse Earley and warned him not to stare or ask about any of it and then explained the bare basics of what happened to her after they'd left. 

Tim probably had a file with every detail of that night as well as information about Sharon Earley's life both before and after that night somewhere on his computer. The thought made Kon nauseous. 

"Good, good," Tim said absently as he updated the mission file on his computer. The keys clicked so rapidly that Kon again reconsidered whether or not his best friend had super speed. "Better to keep them from suspecting than to rush in anyway." 

"Exactly." 

Tim continued asking questions about every little detail he could think of concerning Dr. Rylie, Jasmine Fenton, and the rogues currently in Arkham.

"They don't let me near those guys yet. I'm too new." Kon said when Tim asked if Scarecrow looked to be plotting more than usual.

"They don't?" Tim sounded surprised, going so far as to stop typing so he could turn and stare at Kon. The clone was amused to note something about his statement had managed to wake Tim up enough to be visibly shocked instead blank-faced with exhaustion.

"Of course not," Kon answered trying to keep the amusement from his voice as much as possible. "As many times as your rogues have broken out they're leary of letting new hires near them in case they're goons in disguise." 

Tim sank back into his chair looking like Kon had uprooted his whole world by proving the Earth really was flat via actual science.

"That's impossible." Tim said sounding faint. "Everytime there's a mass breakout, we always hear that some of the guards helped them escape. How?..." He trailed off, eyes darting rapidly like he was tracking lines of an invisible conspiracy board in the air in front of him. Kon shrugged, uncomfortable with this new information.

"Scuttlebutt is that the people helping them escape are visitors. The guards get blamed because the goons visit wearing clothes similar to the guard uniform from a distance. All blue polo shirts and black pants look similar at a distance." Kon explained. "It also doesn't help that the guards can't really do much to stop the escape attempts since they only have stun grenades, tranquilizer darts, batons, low voltage tazers, and rubber bullets to fight back with. So as long as enough people are involved in the escape attempt at least some of them will make it out even if the guards manage to to tranquilize several of them." 

Tim still looked like Kon was blowing his mind. It was such a rare experience that Kon had to continue.

"Plus the tranquilizer darts and the rubber bullets have to be fired from different hardware." Kon told him. "Which sucks because you have to carry twice the amount of weight while chasing after the escapees which slows you down and it takes longer to swap between them."

There was something similar to mystified horror spreading across his friend's face now.

"Speaking if swapping between them, they have different ranges too." Kon continued gleefully. Half because it was fun wrecking Tim's worldview and half to actually impart the information. "Batons are short-range. Tranquilializer darts and stun grenades are mid-range. Rubber bullet riffles are long-range."

"If that's all it is, WE can fund then better gear to control the inmates." Tim interrupted turning back to the computer and swiftly typing out a list of things to send Arkham. Kon shook his head.

"That won't work." He disagreed gently. "They aren't failing because of the gear itself."

Tim turned back around to face him, confused. This was not going to be a fun conversation, Kon swallowed hard and forced himself to continue.

"The problem is that if you fire the rubber bullet riffles from mid or short range you could seriously injury or even kill the patient. If they get past mid-range, you'll miss them completely using tranquilizer darts or stun grenades. If you try to use either of those at short-range it'll be bad for you whether it's because they'll get hold of you before the tranquilizer knocks them out or because you'll stun yourself too."

Comprehension and trepidation began to dawn on Tim's face. He deflated in his chair, sinking lower and lower as he stared off into nowhere.

"You also can't hit them with more than one tranquilizer dart in a four hour window because you could accidently kill them that way. That also means even though you have a baton, you typically can't do enough damage to them to keept them from escaping because that might potentially kill them." Kon said completely solemn now as he relayed the information. "Because regardless of the reputation Arkham has or what the patients have done, it is still a hospital and they are still patients." 

Tim was staring directly at Kon now. Mouth open, face slack, eyes wide with a kind of numbed shock. Kon held his gaze.

"Yeah," Kon said after a moment. "Yeah, that's how I reacted too." He looked down, picking at his nails for a moment before forcing himself to stop and meet Tim's gaze again. "Phizer, my new 'boss', made sure to drill that into my head during orientation. 'Arkham's guards exist first and foremost to protect the patients. Arkham isn't supposed to be a prison. It's a medical facility. The patients are confined to the premises because their affliction has made them dangerous and they have to stay so that we can keep them and others safe from further harm. We are here to keep the patients and staff from hurting each other, themselves, or being hurt by people outside of Arkham's walls.' Not gonna lie, man." Kon said quirking a bitter grin as his did. "Hearing that kind of fucked me up a bit."

Tim sucked in a huge heaving breath then slowly let it out before he responded.

"I can't say I ever thought about it like that." He admitted in a soft strained voice. "Can't say I ever wanted to either." There was a bitter tinge to his words.

"Yeah, neither did I." Kon answered, shoulders slumping a bit. "Was there anything else you wanted to ask me? I kind of want to head back and sleep a bit."

Tim shook his head slowly.

"No, I think we're good at the moment." He said looking twice as exhausted and drained now as he did when Kon first got there. Kon nodded.

"Good night then. I'll see you later, man." He said, pushing off the wall he'd been leaning against and heading for the door.

"Be safe, Kon." Tim answered softly turning back to his computer.

[sinestrosmind]

Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaph! The twins stole slime again!!!!!

well Donnie's dinner is slightly delayed lmao

[reality-detective]

Hmmm 🤔

[b4kuch1n]

glorioso from last years twitterin

[d3rpydoods]

Idk man, my brain goes weird places sometimes - so natrually with the power of art, i shall bring it to life to the detriment of everyone else, enjoy