#they dont seem like they support the phrase either

[trauma-culture-is]

not trauma culture, i just wanted to ask and make sure if you support the idea of "narc/npd abuse" ?

i absolutely don't. i'm sure there are many resources people can access explaining why demonizing an entire group of people based on what disorder(s) they have is bad, so i'll keep this brief, but what it essentially does is harms innocent people and removes the agency of abusers.

people who abuse others chose to do so. even if they're not aware of their abuse, they chose to take abusive actions. saying that someone is abusing people because they have a disorder takes that accountability away from their actions because they "can't stop themself". the same goes for any other mental illness- people with bpd, depression, adhd, etc aren't predispositioned to be abusive or toxic, so why would people with npd?

on the flip side, someone who's doing their best to manage their npd symptoms and is very cautious and aware of how they might hurt people will still get attacked just for having a stigmatized disorder. (even if they aren't managing their symptoms well, or they have hurt people in the past, they don't deserve to be harassed for having a disorder. people don't deserve to be harassed in the first place.)

i feel like personality disorders are probably some of the most affected by stigmatization and casual ableism. every mental illness has horrible stereotypes and gets discriminated against, obviously (this isn't a competition, everyone loses) but i've never seen more vile insults than those directed towards people with npd or aspd.

just call it emotional abuse.

[gigidragonbbxxx]

a personal struggle + an education

this is all just gigi's opinions + thoughts

Reader, I'm struggling with empathy right now.

Don't worry, I'm not suffering from a personality pathology, I promise I am quite sympathetic and empathetic. It's just battling the feeling of wanting to be kind but also seeing a major problem and knowing I need to get it off my chest.

Let me give it to yall straight (with tweaked/paraphrased details to protect privacy and not to out anyone):

I saw a favorite loass coach/twt account/subliminal creator make fun of an "old timey" English sentence either from Neville Goddard or Edward Art. They proceeded to say that they "hate" it and "why can't they just say it simpler". and then someone else commented "they're talking bullshit fr".

The convo thread on twt devolved into an echo chamber that essentially boiled down to the old fool's adage "If I don't understand it, it must be stupid and not worth it."

This really triggered me because

The phrase quoted was not that hard to understand.

It was clear these women were not educated

Why am I judging or mad at people for their ignorance? (this is why I kept quiet on twt and went here to vent. I acknowledge that two things can be true, I can be kind and still be honest.)

I was and currently am still wrestling with these things within me.

On one hand I don't want to judge. I want to be inclusive and welcoming and supportive.

On the other hand - yall don't look educated, yall wind up looking dumb.

I'll say a harsh truth yall and you can go argue with a damn wall but I know I'm right: stupidity is not cute.

My Hot Take (not so hot when you think about it)

The Law of Assumption rewards those who feed their mind with knowledge

Before you argue with me, think about it. Seriously.

I don't want to seem ableist if someone suffers from dyslexia or if someone struggles in school. It's totally okay to have different paths to learning. The importance is still obtaining the information. You can read or listen to the audiobook, etc. The paths to knowledge are varied but in the end the result is the same - THE KNOWING.

The "old timey" sentence that the creator complained about COULD BE READ BY NINTH GRADERS BECAUSE OF SHAKESPEARE EXPOSURE.

That's why I was exasperated. They were complaining about English (the only language in which they are fluent) that is regularly taught to 14 year olds.

Guys. Stand up. Please stand the fuck up.

Who in this world is gonna take you seriously without BASIC COMPETENCY in literature or math?

Lemme roast some of yall if you want to disagree:

Yall wanna be master manifesters and claim to understand the double slit experiment but can't even name the fundamental laws of science or explain them.

Yall wanna be successful in your businesses and don't know how to calculate your profits.

Yall wanna be seen as intellectuals who "understand" more than the majority of the population and yall can't even fucking read Descartes or Shakespeare.

Yall wanna be content creators and don't know how to proofread.

One time I bought an affirmation tape that came with a pdf with all the affirmations listed. The tape itself was excellent but the pdf was riddled with errors! It makes me sad because something that can help change your life, like a sleep tape to saturate, "cheapens" in its authenticity at the price of minor errors. Sigh.

Let me tell you that 100% you can be successful in this world just by going to the end and claiming it.

BUT YOU LOSE A LOT OF TREASURE BY NOT GIVING YOURSELF THE TOOLS TO DIG FOR IT.

THERE IS SO MUCH FOUNDATIONAL INFORMATION WITHIN THESE "OLD TIMEY" TEXTS.

and if you don't like any of it and just wanna watch sammy ingram and manifest like that THEN GO AHEAD BUT DONT CLAIM TO NOT UNDERSTAND A SENTENCE AND THEN CALL IT BULLSHIT.

just be honest and own it!

be honest that you don't wanna read, that you don't wanna be academic and that's 100% okay and you're still beautiful and worth everything but

do not put down the value of what is being said just because you don't understand it

That's why I am frustrated, reader.

I am educated enough to recognize when someone's ignorance is just that - ignorance.

But I am human enough to be annoyed.

So please give yourselves some grace and take the time to appreciate knowledge. Without the knowledge of the law of assumption, we wouldn't all be here interacting with one another.

xx, gigi

p.s. for those of you who are more familiar with reading the Bible via the law of assumption lens - I beg you to think of Solomon. He was asked by God what he would like and Solomon chose wisdom over material things. Why is that? Because through wisdom comes the ability to know how to obtain all one's desires. Food for thought.

[redheadbigshoes]

🌻 here ya'll 👋 Okay so about the 'femboy' thing... strap yourself in I'll explain as best as I can.

So trans women have a rocky history of the terms used to describe us given by others and ourselves.

Some of them were made by trans women to describe ourselves (trans woman as a term obviously desires the msot respect, we want to be seen as we truly are by other people as women)

Some terms were used by others to describe trans women, but are not explicitly slur-esque or detogatory in nature (transsexual is a good example here, some older trans women use this term, but it originated from medical officials describing trans women who undergo hormones or surgeries to affirm our gender and relieve dysphoria)

And some terms were explictly created by others as slurs, like Tranny, Trap, and yes, Femboy. Some trans women reclaim Tranny, similar to how some lesbians and gays reclaim Fag and Dyke, infact that word was contemporary with both of those others, and is a similar case, but Femboy is inextricably tied with Trap in the realm of 'slur that innately denies a trans woman's nature as a woman'.

Trap obviously comes from negative stereotypes that trans women transition to pass perfectly and then 'surprise' sexual partners with our genetalia, a predatory, disgusting, and completely fallacious stereotype, which reduces trans women to gender non-conforming feminine cis men and innately denies us being respected and seen as women just like cis women. It also has innate objectification and sexualization behind its meaning, reducing us to just sexual objects that its okay to use and abuse and ridicule because we're not cis women.

Femboy is basically the term that 4chan internet reactionaries started using once Trap became social taboo to say on social media, thanks to the efforts of trans women and allies to dispel the slur and its transphobia. Femboy was and is still used by hateful transphobes to describe openly stated trans women characters like Bridget from Guilty Gear, and is commonly used to blur lines between characters stated to be feminine gender non conforming men and out and plain trans women. Essentially using the existence of gender non conforming men characters to erase the existence of trans women characters.

Some legitimate gender nonconforming men decide to use the term to describe themselves, either wholly unaware of how it has and is still used to erase the existence of trans women, or just uncaringly despite knowing its origin and history.

So in short, yes, it is a slur, but some gender nonconforming men decide to pick it up as an identity while its still used to invalidate and erase the existence of trans women, so to people like me, it is a slur. Frankly I dont respect gender nonconforming men who use it as an 'identity' because it still just means theyre gender nonconforming men, and its not like Butch as an identity where it has respect, identity, culture behind it. 'Femboy' just has transmisogyny and sexualization behind it as a term.

Phew, that was my best try at keeping it succinct, if anyone has any other questions I can send another ask to try and explain further, thanks for listening!

Thank you so much for explaining all of this! Yeah I asked this because of how I’ve seen being used to describe feminine men (more specifically gay men), so I wasn’t sure if it depended on the context or if regardless of the context it was a slur and derogatory.

I used it a couple of times (without knowing its history) whenever I talked about people (especially “mspec lesbians” supporters) wanting to include men (cis/trans) in lesbianism by using that argument of “there’s no difference between a butch and a trans man” and “there’s no difference between a trans woman and a ‘femboy’” , and in this case (at least from what I understand of the phrase) it seems they’re trying to compare feminine gay men (by using the slur) with trans women.

Other people already explained to me as well but again, thank you. I won’t be using that term anymore, even if the case is the one I brought up (bringing up as an example of what people have said).

[satoruvt]

hey so... Shua boyfie thoughts? :-)

first of all how DARE you, second of all im sorry this has been in my ask box for weeks 😭

i just think he's really soft like. i think he enjoys really cheesy cliche couple things. holding your hand all the time or matching outfits (and not subtle either... if you're matching and he's choosing then you guys are wearing the EXACT same thing lol)

teases you but can never do it for too long... always ends up grinning when you start whining

your biggest fan!!! always excitedly supports you when you get good news

i think he likes doing simple things for dates and stuff. watching a movie in bed or going out for dinner or maybe just taking a walk around the neighborhood for a while... he likes the domesticity

i have another post here abt this but... "can i kiss you?" EVERY TIME before hes about to kiss you

kisses the back of your hand a lot. just cause.

hmmm definitely an actions more than words kinda guy, so when he verbally tells you he loves you it’s really special. not necessarily rare, but not often

oh my god the concept of him putting on some sweet slow music and asking you to dance with him in the living room. in pieces

luvs cooking with you esp when you're baking... both of you always leave the kitchen with white, flour-covered hand prints on your asses

pulls out cheesy lines all the time that make you roll your eyes

sends you songs that remind him of you but they're always SO emotional and hes always so casual about it. "hey, this reminded me of you! listen to it!" meanwhile you're crying your eyes out

purposely leaves his clothes at your place so that you'll wear them

doesn't seem like the guy to just randomly buy you things, but if you point something out that you want he'll get it for you a little later... and he'll ALWAYS phrase it as like an early bday or early christmas present. one time he bought you some shoes you'd been wanting and called it a halloween gift cuz it was the middle of october

takes so many pictures of you. his camera roll is full of you, from pictures you posed for to pictures you had no idea he'd taken

you ask him to sing for you all the time and he always responds with "what do you want to hear?"

can get you ins on seventeen stuff but like... only HIS stuff. you'll ask for a signed album expecting all of the members' signatures but then you just get his. LMFAO

does the thumb rub thing when youre holding hands

when he stays over you guys have this nightly routine of doing whatever skincare you have, maybe watching a couple episodes of an anime, and then he always gives you three kisses (your forehead, your nose, and then your mouth) before you actually get into bed

buys you guys matching necklaces. subtle (because, well. His Job.) and so sweet

texts you sometimes like "what are you doing rn" and when you tell him he doesn't respond but then just shows up wherever you are?????

youre the one behind all of the bf pics he posts on instagram lbr

kind of a menace when it comes to like ur studies and stuff. youre like “josh im so stressed about this exam” hes like “take a break then!” and then you dont touch your notes for hours

even if he doesn’t make it obvious, he listens really intently to what you have to say. remembers a bunch of things you’ve said and will bring them up later, like, “what happened with that job interview?” or “this store you mentioned is having a sale, let’s go look!” etc

this is sooooo self indulgent but. if you have tattoos he’ll always find a way to kind of mindlessly touch them, just run his fingers over them

will not tell you a single thing about seventeen spoilers it’s like he’s not even in a band

does actually gentlemanly things like holds the door or comes around to your side of the car to open the door for you or pulls out your chair at a restaurant 

doesn’t strike me as a huge cuddler, but... you always wake up with his hand in yours

shua.

[dont-justdont]

okay so im rewatching all the parts with louis and daniel (so present time) and are the little things ive spotted (phrases or things that seem weird/like they have a deeper meaning)

- in a setting of my choosing (is it?)

- the room we shared (did they fuck? it sounds like they fucked)

- editor doesn't know where he is (that sounds like a great opportunity for later)

- wasn't sure he'd remember louis? (i feel like louis made him hallucinate something at the end of the first interview/daniel doesn't remember it all)

- louis isn't transparent with the whole emirates thing (someone else is behind it?)

- we don't hear the end of the tape (im calling sex, or louis just scared him but made him think he bit him and someone else did)

- contradictions in the story

- doesn't quite remember what happens?

- truth and reconciliation (between them? between louis and lestat?)

- he already signed an agreement (this isn't super sus or anything but we don't see it)

- daniel doesn't want to be seduced, he wants facts (he's racing ahead as louis says)

- meeting at a gay bar

- drug abuse before and after the interview (after seems more intense)

- last sunrise he saw and yet he can see the sun now with the whole technology window thing

- the vampire is bored (present tense, louis is bored right now because? that's why he's doing the tapes?)

- he cries when he talks about lestat turning him (i cant remember in the book but i know that in the movie the only time he cries is when claudia dies)

- marius' painting (it's not armand? weirdly?)

- the noise of the building (why mention it? is it covering something?)

- serving a god (kind of reminds me of the druids or the weird dude in the mountains)

- we forget, it doesn't (again, daniel doesn't fully remember, something happened in that room in 1973 and i wanna know what it is)

- the farm (i feel like they will explain it later)

- louis feeling rushed (i 100% remember lestat trying to let louis feel everything because he was rushed himself)

- daniel's fixation on sexuality (closeted?)

- i got in that coffin on my own free will

- louis describing vampires as lestat does, the whole detachment, hand in the divine plan, seeing the life in its entirety is 1000% lestat's pov on it, not louis'

- book is a warning (to humans? other vampires?)

- daniel underlining/scratching (???) something he wrote about the whole "yes sir" thing

- louis stops killing in 2000 (what happens?)

- the great conversion (i need more info on that, like what is the state of the vampire world in 2022?)

- those first years (i know it all goes to shit please dont remind me dont do that to me)

- the weird eye thing when he says the earth felt liquid (he looks? agitated? it's not the right word but the acting is there and i dont know why)

- lestat being an artist in giving death (again, lestat's words, not his)

- maintaining the thread with humanity (louis says the last human part of him dies when he turns madeleine, at least in the movie but i remember it being similar in the book)

- botched vampire

- louis has been to pariiiiis (of course we know that but i love the foreshadowing)

- nuanced vs rehearsed (which parts are true, what is he hiding)

- he talks like lestat was his soulmate (based on louis' expression im gonna guess they either get in a relationship between 1973 and 2022, or he's trying to win/bring lestat back with compliments, but if so whyyyy????)

- louis admits to lying in 73, is he lying again?

- i will continue to support my theory that daniel actually wanted to keep the tapes and take them out of the trash once louis left

- daniel calls bullshit on the whole story

- you're lingering rashid (why does he disappear)

- louis still struggles with his vampire identity

so overall... something is weird about why louis is doing the interview again and it probably has to do with lestat, something happened in the first interview and idk what but we will see it eventually, louis is an unreliable character/lying? (why?), louis uses lestat's ways of thinking and words to describe things which definitely means he's seen him since 73

anyways thank you if you made it this far i know it's really long but i thought it could be interesting

[felikatze]

binding blade thoughts (again), abt religion this time. so the elimine church is one of only TWO major religions in the ENTIRE FRANCHISE to not worship dragons, alongside whatever ashera's religion is called in the tellius games

and the elimine church is specifically EXTREMELY christian. elimine is basically jesus. she is considered to be the incarnation of god on earth and stated to have ascended to heave after her passing, which also tells us the elimine church has a concept of heaven as an afterlife

additionally from various supports we see that priests hold regular mass, and that proselytizing is also a part of the religion (though, fortunately, the bishop yoder frowns upon forced conversion, and will just leave anyone of other religions alone, cuz they already have something to worship)

yoder's supports also confirm that the elemental affinities are not just something for players, but rather the characters know about them in universe, and there ARE diverging theological beliefs in how they came to be. the elimine church state that the affinities were a gift from god (specifically, a nameless all powerful creator god, which drew me to the obvious christianity comparison to begin with), and the sacaen spiritual belief states that the affinities come from the earth itself and act akin to protective spirits

people also have some means to discern which affinity they fall under, as dayan directly states he is protected by the anima affinity

i dont think other games have this direct integration of game mechanics into theology? which is wild. it's so fascinating for support bonuses to have lore.

as a result of that, the elimine church also seems to have a strong "love thy neighbour" ethic, especially since belief in elimine is associated with the healing arts. staves are considered holy tools of elimine. all characters who start with staves are either direct members of the church, or troubadours. both troubadours (clarine and priscilla) come from etruria, where belief in elimine is a state religion

that casts a fun light on druids usint staves... call it a hunch, but i don't think niime is a very devout person.

ALSO! DRAGONS! so, yoder, our leading bishop, remember, seems to not mind dragons very much. he says that the return of dragons must be "prevented" and if it cannot, then dragons should "return to their own world", which is all very gentle phrasing.

however, our only non-mario kart depiction of elimine, in heroes, is WAY MORE VIOLENT?

"Never forget that dragons are but destruction given form."

Whereas Yoder seems wary of dragons out of a fear it may restart the Scouring, Elimine straight up advocates for killing em. It seems that her endless compassion does not extend to them.. huh...

It honestly seems like that aspect of her character just got watered down over the thousand years between the Scouring and Binding Blade. With dragons all but gone for the world, people stopped worrying about them, and they became objects of legend. Notably, the perception of dragons as demons does still exist - in Niime's support chain with Fae, she retells the Scouring just so, substituting demon for dragon, but soon drops that belief once she sees Fae is just a wee little baby, and just as much a person as anyone else.

Honestly, the belief in a god who created the earth, alongside the terminology of Divine Dragons - I want to know the relationship between those so bad. Unfortunately, Sophia and Fae have no supports with any priests. The only one who does is Igrene, with Saul.

And in that one, she says that she doesn't believe in god anymore, but that before she became an atheist, she specifically believed in a different god. Alongside statements that Sophia is a priestess of Nabata, this clearly indicates that Nabata, and perhaps dragonkind, have a different main religion, with a different god. There is like, zero lore, on what they would have worshipped, but i do wonder if that is where Divine Dragons come into play.

From the Igrene/Saul support we also see how the god of the Elimine Church is characterized. Mainly, as a kind god, yet one who will not intervene in mortal affairs out of belief that humans can make their own path. If you don't believe in god, god still believes in you, that type of stuff. Works well with the healing angle that priests do good in the name of god and all that jazz.

I ran out of things to say.

TLDR; the cast of the Binding Blade and the Blazing Blade are the only FE characters who can and will say "Oh my god"

[vikkirosko]

could i request some headcanons with John/Jake (if two characters in one req isn't allowed, you can choose either) comforting gender neutral! reader who feels like they dont really meet up to any expectations no matter how hard they try? but youre free to not do the request if you dont want to ^_^

Headcanons Unjustified expectations

👓 John Egbert x gn!Reader🌪

When you and John first met, you seemed confident to him, always knowing what to do. Even when you started dating you continued to shine with confidence. He kept thinking that way until he saw you very upset. He was afraid that something might have happened and tried to find out the reason for your sadness

You told him that from the very beginning of your childhood, a huge number of expectations were placed on you. You tried your best to meet these expectations, but the older you got, the more it seemed to you that you couldn't do it. You were sure that no matter what you did, people around you were always dissatisfied with you, even though they carefully hid it

John was surprised that you believed that you didn't live up to expectations. He didn't understand why you had to meet someone's expectations at all. He thought you were beautiful the way you are and that you don't need to live up to someone's expectations, which he hastened to tell you, causing your uncomprehending and confused look

John knew that you couldn't change what you convinced yourself with one phrase, but he wasn't going to give up. He intended to prove to you that you are beautiful and that you don't have to think about the expectations of others. He wanted you to live your life to the fullest, not thinking about what the people around you will think about you and so that you understand that you are beautiful no matter what

🔫 Jake English x gn!Reader 🗺

From the very first time you met, you and Jake got along great. You had fun spending time together, but sometimes it seemed to him that sometimes you were hiding something from him. When you started dating, this feeling only intensified. But Jake was extremely surprised when he saw you crying one day. He hurried to you, wanting to calm and support you. He didn't want you to cry

Unable to keep everything to yourself anymore, you told him that you did not meet the expectations of others. All your life, the feeling that others condemn you for any of your actions. It was very depressing for you, even though no one openly told you about it. Jake didn't know what he should have done. He himself felt this quite often, so he understood what it was like for you, but he sincerely wanted to help you

Jake has been telling you for a long time that you are beautiful regardless of whether you met someone's expectations or not. He didn't understand why you had to meet someone's expectations at all, and he told you about it. He was sure that you were wonderful, regardless of the opinions of others, and he was ready to convince you of this for as long as he wanted

When you finally stopped crying, you hugged Jake tightly. You were grateful to him for listening to you and that he supported you. It was important for you to hear words of support. It was important for you to know that someone stayed by your side no matter what. You were grateful to Jake for being there for you no matter what

[llitchilitchi]

Im so incredibly disappointed and demotivated at this point

i know we all keep shitting and making fun of twitter but its the site that actually has most of my following and tumblr isnt exactly the best site to go to if you wanna get somewhere as an artist

my interactions absolutely plummeted. i used to get over 600 likes overnight when my following was half the size its now and now i struggle to get to 400. no matter what time i post the likes, retweets and especially comments are super low and idk if the algorithm entirely changed or if people just left or dont care anymore but its disheartening. i spent ages building it up and it disappeared pretty much overnight

i mean yeah, Im not doing all that great on tumblr either so it could be just the time of the year, i barely gain followers and i see mostly the same people in my notes, and while i really appreciate it id love to grow. as much as quality over quantitiy applies its still just... sad to see that there is no one else thatd care? idk how to phrase it properly.

Im not gonna stop posting but it feels like maybe I should. because no matter what I do anymore my art does bad. my follower count is stagnant. the response to my art is minimal. half a year ago i felt like i could maybe turn it into something that i do to financially support myself but that seems nigh impossible now and there is no other website that would be good for artists

[mimikabii-archive]

I'm genuinely stupid sorry lol but what's proship? is it like people being ok with shipping gross/immoral crap or just shipping generally or?

This is gonna get a bit long but tldr:

1) Proshippers are okay (And Usually Engage WITH) gross/immoral shipping. They either don't Care abt people that do this/ "dont care what people ship" (or again. Do it themselves) and thus should not be interacted with.

2) I ask that anyone who IS a proshipper or abides people with that term to unfollow/block me rn 🖕

So proshippers say they dont care about what people ship as a defense for their actions of engaging with such gross/immoral material (and include how people are Policing their ships this is a BIG dogwhistle right here on how they phrase it) I'm going to assume you've read all those "fiction affect reality" posts (Example One: Sharks after the release of Jaws. Example Two: JK R0wlings influence associated w Harry Potter success in Real Life Politics ) and agree with them and now see how Proshipping mentality is a Very Bad One.

Now proshippers are aware of this, so they decided to make a term so that the "other side" (y'know so Normal People who think that shipping 1nc/est and ped0 things is Wrong) seem so "horrible" and "policing for the smallest things!!!" : Antis

I wouldn't suggest taking this title up for oneself as its basically a dogwhistle for proshippers and also people who were not aware (presumibly, such as you were anon). stay away as the title suggests a negative tone. but basically being an "anti" means youve got fuckin enough common sense/decency to think its Not Okay to ship gross/immoral ships.

I am not saying to Directly Harass anyone who agrees with this term (and proshippers utilize this for the Anti terms so ur just feeding fuel to the fire there). Some people say they're Proship because they do not understand Exactly what it means (maybe they don't abt shipping but DO care when it involves gross/immoral ones etc.) in which case inform them of what it truly means and the negative correlation with it. If they still stick with the label, I'd no longer engage w the person and just Block.

BASICALLY if u see something like THIS in anyways faq, caard, etc, they support those gross shit but make it seem like the other side is "Sooo Picky for No Reason!!!" (taken from that headmods faq page from that dr coloring book zine btw yesterday lol)

[dreamsy990]

Soooo like... Rudy is def gonna die before the end of deltarune right? I mean. Yeah sure it'll be. Traumatizing or whatever. But theres way too much, what's the phrase... narrative momentum to be gained for toby to NOT do it y'know? In fact I could go on a whole rant about how I'm pretty sure Rudy KNOWS hes gonna die and is prepping susie to be a replacing support beam in noelles life. (See also: "Kris and Dad are the only ones I can say no to") and the SNOWGRAVE INPLICATIONS. ANOTHER RANT ON ITS OWN!! Anyways your thoughts?

consider: rudy isnt gonna die and toby just made it look like he was to make it shocking when he didnt die by the end

but seriously, i think rudy dying is PROBABLY going to happen, but i kind of hope it doesnt. noelle's home life is garbage and i get it honestly. like, rudy blantly says that he's not there to protect noelle from carol (idk if thats her name but ive been calling noelles mom that soooo), implying that she can and WILL hurt noelle, and has almost definitely done that in the past (emotionally, probably not physically). noelle has a TEXTBOOK broken home and i really hope the game ends with her out of that house or with a confirmation that her mom isn't going to hurt her anymore, because oh my god her situation is terrible. her sister is either dead or out of the picture, her father is in the hospital and probably going to die soon, and she has a most likely emotionally abusive mom.

oh yeah her mom is almost definitely emotionally abusive like. as someone whos been in a similar situation to her, just her being too scared to ask for a key to get into her own home and preferring to go OUT OF HER WAY to stay with someone else than ask for something is a textbook sign of it. rudy says that he has to protect her from carol. noelle is upset that it's just "her and mom" now, and while that's clearly meant to be referring to how rudy isnt at home, its also probably a hint that she doesnt like being alone with her mom. she's also just a people pleaser, implying she's afraid of the consequences of not being seen as "good". whether that's because of a fear of reputation her mom mightve given her, or an avoidance of conflict she's developed after living with her for a while i cant really say. ALSO YOUR POINT OF "kris and dad are the only ones i can say no to" NOTICE HOW SHE SAYS 'dad' and not 'my parents' BECAUSE YEAH HER MOTHER IS EXCLUDED.

no matter how you slice it noelle's home life is just terrible and rudy and dess seemed to be the only reason it was functional for as long as it was. and with dess out of the picture and rudy probably going to follow, i dont have very high hopes for their relationship. i really hope toby handles this well, and the story doesn't end with noelle and carol living alone together. i also dont hope it ends with rudy, dess, or both back in the house with her, because their household isnt sustainable. as someone who's lived in a house like this, it's going to break down one way or another. dess and rudy cant always be there to defuse situations, and they shouldnt HAVE to.

the ending i want is for carol and rudy to split up, and have rudy live with noelle without her. carol may be a good wife and a good mayor but she is not a good mother, and i don't want noelle to be stuck in a house like that.

i may be misjudging carol because we haven't seen her in the game yet, but i just. dont think she's going to be any good. this game definitely seems like its going for giving all their characters bad home lives. like,

-kris's brother is away, their mom seems a bit overbearing and like she's not quite sure what kris needs, and their dad, while caring, isn't the best at. being a parent.

-susie so far has been implied to have some sort of shitty home life but we're not quite sure of the type. we know she's always hungry, but whether thats because of negligence and potentially fear to get food on her own or financial problems is unknown.

-ralsei's been alone his whole life, so his family is just. out of the picture. he's completely isolated and if his parents were around for at least a little, i dont think they were very good.

-berdly felt like he needed to be smart to be recognized, implying that his family might just not care that much about him or really pay attention to him.

it's a theme of this game for characters to have weird or bad home lives and i dont think noelle would be an exception. so yeah, her mom is probably emotionally abusive. with all the evidence in game and just. generally how all the mcs have bad home lives i think its the most likely situation.

back to actually talking about rudy though, yeah he's probably going to die. i really hope he doesnt, because while realistically things dont always work out, having rudy there and maybe moving out with her would definitely make it better. it just feels uncomfortable for her to be stuck in a household like that.

noelle is kind of lonely too. like, her sister is gone, kris and her grew apart, and berdly is really fucking flirty, and probably not that close with her really, since she doesn't include him in the group of people she can say no to.

noelle's list of people she can say no to is just kris and rudy. that's it. her estranged childhood best friend and her dad. not berdly, seemingly her only current friend and the one she's probably the closest with out of the whole class, or susie, her crush (although that might just be because it was before they really started to understand each other more as people and really be friends). her list of people who "know how weird she is" is just kris. not even her dad is included. the only person who might be missing on both of those lists is dess, and she's just out of the picture and thats probably why shes not included.

so as to the idea of rudy trying to set up susie as an emotional support for noelle, yeah i think he'd do that. he definitely has seen that noelle's running low on people she relies on and wants her to have someone else in her life. he really encourages her to get to know susie and just be honest with her. it's cute and wholesome and just. a good dad moment. he's a great father, or at least one who's trying his best. a top tier dad.

i do think thematically that rudy is going to die. its set up that way from the very start, and i think its sort of being hinted at. like, noelle remarks that the dark world is better because 'everything can be healed with a little spell', implying that rudy's in too bad of a state to recover very easily, and "your choices dont matter" could also be saying something like "no matter what you do, he's going to die". idk thats just my take.

but i really dont want this game to end with noelle and carol alone. i've lived in families like that and it's horrible, and it just feels uncomfortable and bad that noelle's stuck in a situation like that. i want carol to have an arc where she starts being a better parent and actually trying, but more importantly i want noelle not to forgive her. abusive parents can change as people but they cant change what they did. noelle's mom has hurt her and she shouldn't just be forgiven immediately. she needs to make an effort, and noelle doesn't even have to forgive her after that. she deserves to have a home life where she's not so afraid to ask for a key to her own house that she goes to stay with a friend instead. get noelle out of that house, or have carol change.

i realize that i talked way more about noelle and carol in a post about rudy, but honestly i relate a lot to noelle's situation and i dont want her to be stuck in a life like that. its bad and i want toby to handle it well. if the game ends where i think it will, with noelle still living at home alone with carol, maybe with dess there, i'll just be sad. like girl, get out of that HOME!!!!!!! it's toxic as SHIT

also i know that some people are going to say "oh her mom isnt trying to hurt her, maybe she just did [x] and thats why noelle is how she is." to which i say, not all abusers have malicious intent. maybe shes just doing it because thas how she was raised and she turned out fine, or maybe she's just kind of negligent and doesnt pay enough attention to noelle to realize how she's being hurt, or maybe its something else entirely. but no matter what her intentions are, its still abuse, and whether she likes it or not, she's hurt the only daughter she has left. the truth is we don't know all the details of what's going on, and we probably won't know for a long time, or maybe ever. but no matter what, this relationship isn't healthy, and it doesn't matter what everyone's trying to do, all that matters is what they did do. and what carol did was emotionally abuse her daughter.

anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk. also the deltarune ending i HOPE happens is rudy gets out of the hospital, gets a divorce and marries asgore, then goes and moves out with noelle. thats only half a joke.

[plaguery]

the tags are dogwhistles about 'lesbians dating men' which is a very classic terf thing, as well as the shit abt 'no ur just bi'

i can see what you mean, looking at that last tag i probably wouldnt have gone for phrasing it that way either but with the look i took at her blog, i didnt see anything else that seemed to call toward terf ideals and on that specific post, i saw multiple trans supportive blogs reblogging and tagging.

personally, i'm going to guess that op isn't a terf but didn't phrase certain things as clearly as she could have? i only took a cursory look over her blog, i obviously didnt have the time for an in depth look and i am not a follower of hers, so i really dont know for certain but from what i can see i think its just a case of someone typing out something quickly and reactively, which often means leaving out other clarifying tidbits of their beliefs.

for what i took of the base post, i see it as a reaction to many posts going around speaking about lesbians and gay men sleeping with each other, which i'm not going to police anyone's sexual identity, you do you. but i do think it is rough for a lot of lesbians, trans affirming and loving lesbians as well, to see a sweep of posts that are about lesbians but end up centering them in relation to men. and that brings up a lot of guilt and shame and inner turmoil around the societal pressure to commit to men that lesbians are often actively in the process of overcoming, again and again.

we get a lot of the short yuri meme posts sure, but at least on my end, i havent seen a lot of wide ranging posts that celebrate lesbians with lesbians, including transfems and transmascs, at length being passed around.

i think its a complicated issue that deserves a lot more discussion past what that post boiled it down to, but again it was reactive. sometimes people dont say things in the best ways in those moments. because i didnt see anything else that raised alarms, i'm going for benefit of the doubt here.

thank you for bringing this to my attention though, i do appreciate checks like this. i hope i clarified my feelings on this well.

[rosmary-iguess134]

Id like to talk about some D&D stuff for just a minute!! More specifically about some lore ive been making up for a character.

Weapon name: Virgil

Damage: 3d10 slashing and 4d6 necrotic

Virgil is a greatsword made of entirely human parts, the blade itself is made of bone. The cross guard is part of a ribcage thats stabbed into a piece of flesh that makes up the hilt, in the center of the crossguard on either side are two eyes that are embedded into the aformentioned flesh hilt. Speaking of, the hilt is made out of 8 fingers that are all stitched together with veins, you can tell these are fingers because of the fingernails located at the bottom of the hilt. The pommel is made of 3 teeth essenially glued to a metal spike that seems to be adding support to the entire sword so it doesnt just fall apart. Virgil tells you stuff about anything you want it to, but you gotta roll a d20 to determine how reliable and or in detail the info is, this doesnt apply to yes or no questions/simple questions that dont have lore behind it, so like..math maybe??

Now for lore >:3

Dante(as in the one poet not dmc), is now a really powerful paladin/cleric type who goes around killing/cleansing evil stuff..or just stuff that goes against all the gods seen as good. Virgil was turned into a sword by a god-like being named Deus, and was found by Dante in the Garden of Eden once he made his descent back to where he started to get back to whatever made up region he lives in..cause y'know, d&d, Europe doesnt exist!!

Idk, im ranting too muxh & im tired..soo bare with me, some of my phrasing is a little...bad.

[munsonsduchess]

Oh yeah no, it was definitely drama. Most of it wasn't even directed at me and I was on the sidelines awkwardly. The fact that she wanted me and him to get together originally cause she knew I would find him attractive and that he had a good personality and we had multiple same interests...I mean I'm not sure why she would expect us to not have chemistry

She says things have resolved for them but I'm still a lil wary. I feel as though she crossed a line emotionally cheating, but im not telling her husband that (actually she did, and she had him read the messages). I support her and her alone, like yeah I like the husband and I would feel bad if she cheated (thats a big no no in my book), I would totally yell and berate her for doing so, but at the end of the day I love her and she's my friend.

The dude it seems flirts more when he feels lonely or insecure, which I feel is more of his way of getting attention. I dont think he actually wants something out of it (because according to my friend, when they all had been hanging out in a group setting, he was flirting with this girl who ended up trying to put the moves on him and kiss him and he immediately was like no sorry im so sorry)(this happened before and after me snd him made out so im confused as to why I was special because newsflash i am not).

Oh my god there’s more. Anon you are feeding me this is more drama than I ever get (I am a very uninteresting person)

I feel like with the whole emotional cheating thing that would be up for her and her husband to talk about. I totally get where you’re coming from and I’d probably feel the same if it was me, you’re married and you’re still trying to like get with this guy? Even if it’s just flirty texts I’d be a bit suspish cause like it’s one thing to flirt as a joke but another thing entirely to actually mean it.

The flirting bc you’re insecure and you want attention just fucking ko’d me. As an incredibly insecure person who needs p much constant validation (that I will never ask for bc that’s emotional manipulation and how could I do that to someone of my god I’m a horrible person) I feel the need for attention in my soul.

Where my “quiet” girlies (gn) at? The ones who people ‘forget’ are there bc “Omg you’re so quiet I totally forgot you were here!” or “you’re so well behaved, you’re always so quiet and you just take care of yourself”

If either of those phrases brought back horrific memories first of all I’m sorry second of all me too babe.

(Tagging @sexyprise so she can read the drama too)

[a-dragons-journal]

i dont "kin for fun" but through tiktok i found out about the whole kin for fun vs actual otherkin... situation ig? im having a really hard time taking it seriously... maybe im just burnt out and bitter from dealing with the worlds current events, and maybe its because on tiktok the only people i saw mad about it were white people, but you're the most reasonable person ive seen talking about it (a lot of other posts have this odd tone that 12 year olds on tiktok saying kin is the worlds greatest opression and it weirds me out) so ig my question is just... why exactly does this matter? why does it matter enough to post about and care about and not just ignore? /gen

Hey! I don’t blame you for being a bit weirded out by it, we’re a weird subculture and we’re well aware of it! xD I appreciate you taking the time to actually look into it past your first knee-jerk reaction, especially considering burnout and the state of things.

I’m not totally sure if you’re asking why otherkinity matters or why the “kin for fun” being wrong matters, so I’ll answer both - they’re pretty well tied together anyway.

The short version:

Otherkinity is an identity. It’s who we are, we can’t choose to pick it up or put it down, and it comes with struggles - though no, ‘kin are not systematically oppressed (though we are pretty badly bullied and, at this point, pushed out of our own words and spaces).

What people calling roleplay/relating to/projecting onto characters “kinning for fun” does is steal our words, make them meaningless, and in doing so, make it difficult or impossible for us to find each other. If someone says “I kin [x],” I no longer know whether they mean “I am [x] on an intrinsic level” or “haha I relate to this character a lot”. I no longer know whether they actually share my experiences or if they’re going to turn on me and call me “crazy” as soon as they realize I’m not exaggerating or joking or roleplaying. It’s done massive harm to the community as a whole because it’s become difficult to tell whether someone is actually ‘kin or if they’ve misunderstood the whole thing - and because antikin rhetoric, which I’m seeing more and more in KFF spaces, hurts far more when it’s coming from inside what you thought was a community space than when it’s coming from self-labeled “antikin.”

There are other words for roleplaying and relating to and projecting onto characters. Hell, there are words for strongly identifying with-but-not-as characters/things, though usually KFF people don’t even seem serious enough for those to fit in my experience. I’m really not sure why these people are so determined to steal and misuse our words, words that were specifically created to mean something else, when they already have their own and are just refusing to use them. (Or, hell, if you don’t feel like those fit, make your own. We did. It’s your turn to put in the work. (General you, not you-the-anon, of course.))

An analogy, if that still doesn’t quite land for you:

Consider, for a moment, the transgender community. I am aware this is a dangerous thing to say, but bear with me. Obvious CW for hypothetical transphobia up ahead is obvious.

Consider if you were part of the trans community (I don’t know if you are or not), having finally found a word to explain why you feel the way you do about yourself, why your experiences don’t seem to match up with those of everyone else around you. Having found a community, a home, full of other people like you, people you never would have met if not for words like “transgender” and “gender dysphoria/euphoria” that were created specifically to describe your experiences.

Now consider if people suddenly stumbled across your community for the first time who were not trans themselves. They see community jokes and lighthearted posts out of context, because Tumblr and Twitter aren’t exactly conducive to making sure people find the Transgender 101 information posts first. They don’t bother to do further research, assuming they understand: ah, these people like to crossdress! They like to pretend they’re a different gender! This seems like a fun hobby, I want in!

They begin to post things like this. They post photos of them crossdressing and caption them “hi, I’m [name], and I trans men!” and things of the like. Suddenly the concept of “transing for fun” seems to be everywhere - and it’s not at all what being trans actually is, but these people either don’t know or don’t care. When actual trans people try to politely correct them, they’re accused of “gatekeeping” - and to be clear, this is not “nonbinary people aren’t real,” it’s “transgender means you identify as a gender other than the one you were assigned at birth, and you’re self-identifying as the gender you were assigned at birth 100% and telling us this is just a fun hobby for you, therefore you’re not trans, you’re crossdressing or doing drag or being GNC. That’s fine, but it’s not being trans - you have other words to describe that, use those.”

(Yes, I am aware these things have a history with the trans community - please just ignore that for the sake of the analogy and bear with me on the slightly simplified version of this. “Kinning for fun” does not have that same history with the otherkin community.)

...And then the response to those attempted corrections, in some corners, turns into “wait, you ACTUALLY think you’re another gender? idk that sounds pretty unhealthy, maybe you should see a psychologist or something :\” and “you’re taking this too seriously.”

I imagine, in this hypothetical scenario, you’d also be pretty fuckin peeved.

(Obviously, in this hypothetical scenario, systematic transphobia would be an issue as well, which isn’t the case for otherkin - again, you’re gonna have to bear with me on the simplification for sake of analogy there.)

(EDIT: this is not an anti-MOGAI/exclusionist argument, this is “you’re literally telling me you don’t fit the definition,” explanation on that here)

The long version, which is probably still worth reading if you have the time and energy:

Otherkinity is... pretty core to who I am, who we as a group of individuals are. We live with being otherkin on a daily basis. Many of us spent a long time feeling different and disconnected and not understanding why until we found the otherkin community. Even people like me, who don’t share that experience and still had social connection - I’ve still had to live with weird differences that I had to learn to mask when necessary; instincts that don’t line up with human society well, feeling body parts that weren’t there and that no one else ever seemed to have, things that other kids grew out of because it was just make-believe for them and I... didn’t, because it was never make-believe for me to begin with. Oh, sure, I played make-believe too - I played warrior cats and house and all those things with the other kids, but there were things that weren’t play-pretend for me too. I didn’t have an explanation for it for a long time - it was just how I was, I was weird, and fortunately for me personally I was okay with that (many of those with species dysphoria or more trouble connecting with humans have more problems from that than I did).

And then I found the word “otherkin.” And suddenly everything fell into place, and I had an explanation for the things I’d been experiencing, and there were other people like me. Something I’d assumed didn’t exist. I found others who shared my unique experiences, who were talking about how to cope with the instinct to growl or snap jaws at people instead of expressing annoyance in a human way instead of just saying “that’s weird, don’t do that”, who were talking about dealing with phantom wings and tails, who understood me. I wasn’t weird, I wasn’t broken, I was exactly what one would expect from a dragon living in human skin. I found an explanation for myself. I found a home.

That is why otherkinity matters - it is who we are, it’s not something we can walk away from (certainly not most of us, anyway), and it’s something many of us need the support of the community to help deal with on a daily basis. Being a nonhuman in human society isn’t always easy, but it’s not something we can just magically stop being - it’s core to who we are, we (generally) didn’t choose to be this way, and we (generally) can’t choose to stop. Which is fine - the vast majority of us can cope with it just fine, with a little advice and help and space to be our authentic selves in. We found each other, we built this community from the ground up to make a space and words to make finding each other easier - or possible at all.

Thus we come to the second half of our story.

It was only a couple of years ago that the “kin for fun” trend started getting big. It had existed before that, of course, but it only started going mainstream two, maybe three years ago, from what I can tell. Suddenly people were treating “kin” like it meant relating to, projecting onto, roleplaying as, or just really really liking a character or thing - not being that thing, which is what it actually means. Not long after that, it became hard to tell whether someone saying “I kin this” meant they were that thing, that they were actually part of our community - or that they really really liked that thing and either didn’t know or couldn’t be bothered to learn that that wasn’t the case for us.

Not long after that, it became relatively commonplace to hear phrases like “otherkin are ruining kinning!!” and “you’re taking this too seriously” and “idk, if it’s that serious for you that sounds unhealthy. maybe you should get some help :\” (all directly quoted, or as exactly quoted as I can remember, from things KFF people have said to me or people I know).

It is a special kind of hell, I think, to be told “you’re taking this too seriously, that’s unhealthy” by people who are taking words created to describe your experiences, not theirs, and misusing them to mean something that you do for fun on a weekend instead of something that’s intrinsic to your being.

Perhaps more importantly, like I’ve said, it’s making it almost impossible to know whether someone who says “I kin [x]” is actually ‘kin or if they’re misusing our words to mean something else entirely. The entire point of words is to communicate ideas, and once you start misusing words to mean something totally different than what they actually mean, that communication falls apart and suddenly we might as well not have those words at all. Especially when the community is small enough and obscure enough that we’re starting to be outnumbered by the misinformation. We’re being run out of our own words, words we created to describe our experiences specifically - because we’re a small community that the wider internet can easily drown out by sheer numbers of people who either don’t know any better or don’t care to learn.

That’s the harm it does - the harm it is doing, right now. That’s why it’s important enough to post about. That’s why it matters - because we’re fighting desperately to hang onto our own words so that others like us can actually find us. Because we’re seeing young nonhumans go “this isn’t a kin, I actually am this” and screaming “No, I’m so sorry that this is what the misinformation has done to you, that’s exactly what otherkin means, you have a place here, please don’t let these non-’kin misusing our words drive you away from the very community you’re looking for and that you belong in.” Because we can’t even communicate effectively about our own experiences anymore except in semi-closed spaces like Discord servers and forums (and the number of Discord servers overrun with KFF people is absurd).

......This got very long. Hopefully it at least explained why it matters so much to me and others a bit better ^^; Thanks for hearing me out, and thank you again for looking into this beyond your initial knee-jerk reaction - I really do appreciate it.

(For further reading, if that text wall didn’t blow you out of the water completely, I recommend my “kin for fun” tag, which has more posts like this in both short and long form.)

[jackassbroadcast]

Hello im a Tommy enthusiast who watched that one stream where he monologued to foolish for like hafe an hour bc i heard it was a cool stream or wtv to realize how much amazing character moments it had that barly anyone in this damn fandom is talking about so ill fucking do it

(Only after finishing this i realized i wrote 1.7k words LOL OOPS)

If u dont know what in talking about its this stream (apologies for linking a clips channel the actual vod on foolish's channel is deleted by now)

Also heads up /rp /dsmp every time i refer to someone here by name is their character unless stated otherwise bc writing c! Before every name Is tiring LOL

Also // suicidal idealization , death mentions

The conversation starts off with foolish and tommy mining for Wilbur, and foolish questions how simply mining will solve the problem to which Tommy reponds with "they dont get solved, do they? It just ends uo with some madman screaming 'Hes solved it!' And now look at him." And how he wants to "prevent the problem before it goes outta hand" something that clearly references Wilbur and his destruction of lmanburg, which paired with him collecting stone for Wilbur as the way to stop said problems he believes if he does anything he can for Wilbur and support him by his side enough this time around, that he wont do anything like thay again, which as im writing this makes be realize by doing that we learn hes blaming himself for what happened to Wilbur in November 16th and pogtopia and a whole, by not being enough for Wilbur in his mind.

The conversation continues, foolish off hand asks why would tommy want to stop Wilbur? Weren't they friends at some point? To which tommy leads foolish to lmanburg and tells him the story of the nation (how it was him and Wilbur's nation, how they made it to espace dream's iron fist and how they held an election "which puts your life on the line, which is good- if you're confident but- perhaps we were too confident", how they lost)

Tommy: "You know the phrase: 'treat other how you wanna be treated', foolish? People dont ever listen to it. Wilbur- he decided he wanted to be treated poorly so he treated everyone around him poorly "

This Tommy quote, to me at least, so so amazingly strong in conveying how understanding he is? To the world around him. Like-

I have not seen one person bring this quote up, and yet its (at least to me) shows such growth and understanding in Tommy i saw little to nothing like it in other streams. It shows he understands, he knew Wilbur didnt change just because, he knows he was struggling, that he thought everyone around him were againt him, were going to abandon him the first chance theyll get- and he thought he deserved it. So he, as a last way to defend himself against that, hurt them first, abandoned them first, so theyll see how much of a 'bad' person he was and take him out- and tommy saw right through that, possibly understanding it more after exile.

This next qoute was talked about much more but i still wanna bring it up

Foolish: "Do you believe in second chances?"

Tommy: "Oh, no I don't really believe that its not really a thing for me foolish its just that-" *sigh* "- i believe everyone has a little bit of good in then and this is not about giving him a second chance or a third chance- its not about *chances* foolish. Its about not giving up on the poeple you care about. "

Which. I mean. I dont know how healthy that mindset is, but comign from Tommy it makes so much sense.

Techno, tubbo, eret, sapnap. These are all people Tommy used to be extremely close to, had either a war or had been betrayed by them, and yet still found it in his heart that he still cares for them, with all of these, they did horrendous things, that hurt tommy physically and mentally, while also not being once or twice, but a contentious thing, but while tommy is to this day still effected by their actions he still found it in himself to forgive, because he knows he fucked up too, a lot, and he knoes they learned from their mistakes just as he had (except c!techno FUCKKK c!techno mf doesnt learn SHITTT) and he knows, when the time comes he knows hed want the people he hurt to forgive him too. (And he wants Wilbur to do the same)

Next qoute i will cut to a couple parts because its really so good and full of character i had to bro

Foolish: "Do you consider yourself to be the good guy or the bad guy?"

Tommy: "It really depends who you ask, isn't it? Yknow? If you asked dream he'd say im *his little toy that he plays with* you know? It doesnt.."

This part really stunned me when i first heard it because, and correct me If im wrong, but i dont think tommy ever acknowledged how dream sees him, and  how right he has his viewpoint too. Just the fact tommy is so *painfully* aware of how dream doesnt even see him as a person anymore but just a toy to mess around with for a while than just throw it away when it get too boring really hurt me. Someone give this kid a hug

(Continued) Tommy: "...foolish, honestly? I used to consider myself 'the good guy', you know? The fuckin'- second in command! But these past- these past like six months or so, foolish, everything got so much harder than it was before. Because before it was just us vs bad guys, it was all so clear! But- its not been 'clear' for so long, right? It wasn't; 'these are the bad guys! These are the good guys!' Now it's : 'he's doing this and it makes him a bit worse-' i mean, it all got so complicated, so- i don't know. Depends who you ask."

He says this, in response to foolish asking if hes a good guy- but its awfully similar to if Wilbur asked him if they were the bad guys. Because foolish just asked about him, and yet in his answer tommy made sure to keep using the words "us, he's, guys" as if hes not really talking about himself, as if hes explaining how Wilbur was wrong. Which he was. Also something interesting ive noticed, he says "the last 6 months or so", which indicated that with Wilbur he knew better to follow his word and leadership- with Wilbur he was always on the right side but when he lost him he felt much more lost alone, and couldn't trust himself enough to be on the "right side" .

Foolish: "I dont know, it all seems strange because just from, you know- hearing from others and, you know, learing a little bit, its seems like you've been the hero, you've been the villain, the conqueror, the savior, and, even now, i have no idea what you exactly are."

Tommy: "that's up to you to decide, isn't it? Im just- *uh*  i dont know. These days, foolish, I'm a little weaker than i used to be"

Foolish couldn't be more right with what he said, another example of this we see where a character acknowledges tommy never sticks to one thing us Charlie when calling him "tommy fron nowhere" which shows more how he cant stick to one thing, during the course of him on the server he had been friends and enemy with nearly everyone, been on pretty much all sides, and while never really intentionally, being in the center of conflict. When foolish says he doesnt know who tommy is anymroe at this point and all Tommy says in return is that "hes a little weaker than he used to be" does to show he misses who he used to be, with lmanburg, with Wilbur, when he knew who he was, now he doesn't know who he is anymore, but still so desperately want to be more demonstrated by the lines coming rigth after that one:

(Continued) Tommy: "..I'm not- I'm now who i want to be, but-"

Foolish: "Being honest with you, Tommy, that's the same case for me as well."

Tommy: "...heres the thing, foolish, unlike you i dont really have a choice. I have to try and be who i want to be, because if i dont, very bad things are gonna happen in this server. And now that Wilbur's back i can't- quite frankly *no one* can risk that. So i dont really have a choice."

Tommy want's to change- he wants to be better than he is now, to be closer to who he used to be, no matter how impossible that might be, but he also sees it as an immediate thing, he wants to change now, or asap, which is why hes collecting stone for Wilbur in the first place- old him would've done that with ease just because Wilbur asked and he wants to have that back so badly, asap. The way he talked about this reminded me of when he tried getting over his trauma stream before he went in the prison to kill dream: he knew he wasnt the best but he tried getting over that asap to go kill dream asap. He didnt wanna take the long road of years of healing and instead thought he could get over it just like that, and that experience clearly didnt teach him anything because now hes trying to slide back to the relationship he and Wilbur used to have and ignoring the drastic changes they both had plus the bad moments that were the reason they feel out in the first place, or maybe he knows, but at this point, after everything that happened to him and the server, he doesnt care anymore? He knows hes not the same he was and he'll never be the same, because thats not how it works, but his mentor, president, big brother is back after so long tommy felt so lost and alone he thinks maybe, this time around, with Wilbur, he could try and be better again.

[mysterylover123]

Mysterylover watches BNHA Episode 97 "Bakugou Becomes Best Boy"

1. Ooh they're busting out the good animation for this one. Bones you're having fun this arc I can tell.

2. Seems to me they changed up one of Jirou's lines from my manga copy. In Viz she says "It almost seemed like he was ready to cooperate" but here she says "He's cooperating at least". Confusing maybe. Like in Viz she's kinda disappointed in him, but here she's more optimistic.

3. OK Bones why did you put Bakugou giving them his grenades before hand? Ruining the surprise of him being willing to cooperate!

4. YES HERE IT ISSSSS WIN TO SAVE SAVE TO WIN OMG DEKU KACCHAN GAZING OMG MY SHIPPY MOMENT IS HERRREEEEE (and it's only the beginning this arc lol)

5. Deku gets to gaze all lovestruck at Kacchan remembering All Might's explanation of why they're prefect for each other ("save to win" "win to save"), etc.

6. Anyway everyone gets to provide commentary on Bakugou's character development. "And when I'm in danger you guys save me!"

7. Oh man. Back when we thought this was the peak of Bakugou's character development. Ooh anime onlys. Believe it or not you ain't seen nothing yet.

8. Ooh and Shoto and Iida aren't the only ones who get the fighting sakuga this season! Yay! Those're some AWESOME explosions.

9. Also Uraraka's line's different from the viz manga too. There it was "Jirou and the others trust him". Here it's "because he trusts them". So it switches from her praising how Bakugou's friends trust him to praising Bakugou's trust in the others. Interesting.

10. OMG the animation on Bakugou finally beating Tokage. That stun grenade. Bakugou is also, just fyi, very sexy in this arc. Like well animated and the winter costume is just - dayum.

11. We get some bonus Kamijirou as well. I'd say in comparison with our leads Jirou is the Bakugou and Kaminari is the Deku in that dynamic.

12. OOH and speaking of! We get more Deku fanboying over Kacchan in an adorable little sequence. OMG smiling Deku and Kacchan are filling me with so much serotonin (the happy chemical).

13. The choice of All Might's phrasing here is interesting. Fans (who are either anti-bkdk, gen, anti-bakugou, or just not in the Bakugou camp) were annoyed that All Might called Bakugou a "good friend" in this scene, which I do understand (despite my OTP), because to the outsider Bakugou and Midoriya's rival talk doesn't sound like supportive friendship. I think what is meant here is that Bakugou's ability to push Midoriya to want to be his best is what makes him a good friend for Deku to have. The anime has probably minimized the controversy by rephrasing it to "good childhood friend". We'll see what happens.

14. Anyway we get some of Shinsou gazing jealously at Deku, probably thinking 'what does spiky blond boy have that I don't.' Don't worry Shinsou you'll get your slashy rivalry moment with Deku this arc.

15. LOL and their enemy team IMMEDIATELY goes "Hey Deku and Kacchan are similar". "He's the same or better than Bakugou". Ooh just let Bakugou hear you say that. (though I think he secretly agrees hence the rivalry)

16. Speaking of ships, Shinsou/Monoma gets some time to shine too. Cute.

17. DONT WORRY WE CAN DEFINITELY WIN THIS. Deku is so effing cool. Look at him winding up. Getting ready to go.

18. Another line change. From "after he lit a fire under me" to "After hearing that". Yup definitely trying to make this scene seem less...I'm gonna say shippy, there, Bones.