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#they fall into bed together after but it still hurts
zepskies · 2 days
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Rest
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Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Summary: Dean is your rock, but you’ve become his place of rest.
AN: Surprise! Just something short and sweet for Dean. 💜
Word Count: 600
Tags/Warnings: Established relationship; fluff, hurt/comfort, tinge of angst
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On nights like these, the urge hits you the most.
You’re already in bed, wearing one of his old shirts and little else. You’re waiting for Dean, watching him finish brushing his teeth. He wraps it up by splashing some water on his face.
He stops for a moment, with his hands on the edges of the sink. He looks at his reflection and rubs a hand over the thick stubble on his face.
It’s halfway to beard territory. He needs a trim, he’s probably thinking.
(You don’t mind a little extra scruff.)
He hesitates, looking deeper at his own reflection. You notice the lines around his tired eyes, the weight of the last hunt still heavy on his shoulders. It's weighing on yours too, having carved out another small notch in your heart.
But you also know how many more layers this man carries, including the ones he adds himself.
“Dean,” you prompt quietly.
His head turns in your direction, and you give him a smile, beckoning him over.
Again, he hesitates. But he goes to you. After dipping his side of the bed with his weight, he smoothes a hand over your hair in affection. He takes off his father’s watch; the last piece of the hunter’s armor before he lays down on his back beside you. The old metal and leather watch clunks on the nightstand.
He then opens an arm to welcome you over, where you routinely find a place against his side.
“Come ‘ere,” he murmurs, his voice low and gravel. Your lips curve, but you gently push his arm back down to his side.
“Turn over,” you say, making a rolling gesture with your finger. Dean’s brows knit together in confusion, but he’s just curious enough to heed the encouragement of your hands on his arm and his back. He turns onto his side, facing away from you.
You settle yourself higher on your pillows, and you guide him backwards, until he’s resting against your soft upper body. You wrap your arms over his broad shoulders, and your hand moves, soothing across his chest. Even now, you feel the tension in his frame.
“Relax,” you say in a near whisper. You press a lingering kiss to his cheek. “I’ve always wanted to be the big spoon.”
A smile raises the corners of Dean’s lips. He even chuckles, shaking both of you.
“Yeah? Feels kinda weird,” he admits. He doesn’t think he’s been held like this since he was a kid.
“Well, give it a minute,” you say, with a bit of cheekiness.
Then you sigh and settle into this yourself. When your arms cross over his chest, Dean grabs your wrist, holding you there. He lets out another deep breath of his own.
Okay, he agrees, if only in his mind. Not bad.
He does relax against you, inhaling the floral scent of your body wash, feeling the tickle of your hair on his shoulder, and the gentle rise and fall of your breath. It's all familiar, and reminds him that he's home.
Dean leans over to turn off the light on his nightstand, but he returns to your embrace. He reaches back, just to stroke your cheek in a silent thanks. Smiling in the dark, you lay another kiss on the side of his head, and you close your eyes.
Dean does the same. He lets your warmth seep into his body, releasing the tension of a shitty hunt. He tries to let go of the faces he couldn’t save.
And he actually rests. 
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AN: Just one of my little daydreams that I finally got a chance to write down. 💜
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Ko-Fi Me ☕
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Dean W. Tag List:
@hobby27 @kazsrm67 @letheatheodore @agothwithheavysetmakeup @jacklesbrainworms
@foxyjwls007 @wincastifer @iamsapphine @simpforbuckyb @roseblue373
@this-is-me19 @emily-winchester @spnexploration @deans-spinster-witch @deans-baby-momma
@iprobablyshipit91 @melancholictearz @nic-kolas @sanscas @sleepyqueerenergy
@wayward-lost-and-never-found @thewritersaddictions @just-levyy @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @deanwanddamons
@anticxrrupt @lacilou @adoringanakin @theonlymaninthesky @teehxk
@midnightmadwoman @brianochka @branj19 @agalliasi @venicesem
@chriszgirl92 @lyarr24 @ladysparkles78 @solariklees @deansbbyx
@candy-coated-misery0731 @curlycarley @sarahgracej @bagpussjocken @deanfreakingwinchester
@chernayawidow @mimaria420 @fics-pics-andotherthings-i-like @waywardxwords @waynes-multiverse
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sitp-recs · 21 hours
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Hello heart ! I love your rescs and was thinking of ordering something! Currently I have already finished reading your 4 voolumenes (possibly have a session for this couple) the fact is that I am looking for something specific. I adore dramatic declrations! I was wondering if you had any fanfic in mind with anything related! I love it when Darry surprises everyone! It also works if they are declarations of marriage or even declarations of change of sides in the war! Anything drarry that surprises the world!
Hello hello! Oh that’s a really interesting ask, I love that concept! I have a reclist for dramatic love confessions here, but I think you might also enjoy these fics. This reclist clearly got a bit out of hand (as per lol) so I’ve shortened the summaries to keep it clean, hope that’s ok!
I, Ferret by curiouslyfic (T, 2k)
Draco's embraced his inner Ferret. Now it's Harry's turn. Starring Veela!Draco, mpreg, an old wives' tale, and a Weddiwizard.
Game On by @pennygalleon (T, 5k)
Draco blows Harry a kiss and the press goes nuts. Harry suggests they use this to their advantage.
(Un)Calculated Risk by @l0vegl0wsinthedark (E, 7k)
He thought about the way Harry looked at him, smiled at him; about the way Draco’s head was nearly always full of him, all day every day, and about the way Draco sometimes deliberately went to bed still smelling of him, refusing to acknowledge what it meant.
Gravity Centered by carpemermaid (E, 7k)
Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy are two of the best flyers in the International Professional Broom Racing League.
Silence series by RurouniHime (E, 10k)
It was his battle, yet he never hurt me, and he could have.
A Song, Incomplete by RurouniHime (E, 11k)
Draco’s photograph took up the entire top half of the Prophet’s front page. Below the photo: DRACO MALFOY DEFENDS SON OF FORMER LOVER. As if that were breaking news.
I'll never be your chosen one by @andithiel (E, 15k)
Draco doesn't know what exactly he’s doing with Potter, he doesn't know how their unspoken agreement even started, and doesn't know where it will end. The only thing he knows is: he's not in love.
Two Zinnias and the Scent of Lemon by @the-starryknight (M, 16k)
Between covert Legilimency links and Polyjuice disguises and running and running and running, Draco has forgotten what it is like to have a safe harbor that isn’t a person.
Reparatio by astolat (E, 17k)
Draco snorted. “I’m not reduced to penury. I want something considerably beyond money, and I rather think you’re the only one can give it to me.”
Touch Me Fall by @lqtraintracks (E, 23k)
Malfoy was such a ponce. And he was a complete snob. And he was so fucking fit Harry wanted to jump him where he sat. It would be too easy to forget his objective tonight: to really, really, really get Malfoy out of his system.
Expecto Patronum by @writcraft (E, 35k)
As Draco Malfoy negotiates his feelings for the wizarding world's brightest star, he becomes increasingly attached to Harry and unravels the secrets he keeps hidden from the rest of the world.
The Wand Slipped by @unmistakablyoatmeal (E, 35k)
After a messy, public divorce and a disgraceful exit from the Auror Department, Harry is trying to rebuild his life as a private investigator.
Rush (For A Gap That Exists) by @sleepstxtic (E, 42k)
A story of love and loss that grew amidst the most infamous rivalry in Formula One history: the story of Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter.
The Greatest Game by @sleepstxtic (E, 45k)
The Greatest Game is something more. The drama, the tension, the narrative that the other games lack. There is a story here. Two rivals with a history spanning years; the oldest, most illustrious prize to be won.
Knockturn Soulmates series by @xanthippe74 (M, 60k)
Fate brought them together. Now the real work begins, as Harry and Draco try to merge their starkly different lives without being torn away from everything they hold dear.
The Compact by astolat (E, 64k)
Hermione frowned. “The real question is why the magic of Britain would be failing now, in fact.”. “That is not the real question!” Ron said loudly. “The real question is, how do we fix it?”
A Thousand Beautiful Things by geoviki (M, 104k)
Draco Malfoy struggles with changed fortunes, shifted alliances, an ugly war, and an unusual spell, with the help of a concerned professor, an insightful house-elf, and an unexpected Gryffindor friend.
Far From The Tree by aideomai (E, 112k)
The arrival of Harry Potter’s children—snapped back in time, the children themselves guessed, twenty or so years—was the most interesting thing to happen at Hogwarts for years.
When Times are Dire by @aibidil (E, 130k)
Magical Britain is screwed, and it's once again up to Harry to save it. This time, by marrying Draco Malfoy.
By the Grace by lettered (T, 139k)
Harry is an Auror instructor. Malfoy wants to be an Auror.
Things Worth Knowing by Femme and noeon (E, 164k)
After the Battle, Harry thinks he's left Hogwarts for good, but Minerva insists that all students return for an Eighth Year if they wish to sit for NEWTs in the spring, and Harry needs those NEWTs to go into the Aurors.
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x-liv25-jamieswife · 2 days
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Grayson enemies to lovers hc?
grayson enemies to lover head canons
sure! i don't think this will be very long bc i don't really have any ideas and i'm not good with oc's/reader hcs. you also didn't specify if you want the other character to be a man or woman so i'll just refer to the character as 'them'. this is really bad and cliche. im sorry T-T.
i just know he'd be like cardan in the cruel prince (if you know what that is) when he kept writing jude's name on this piece of paper (basically, he'd hate them but wouldn't be able to stop thinking about them).
he'd do the biggest background check on them. he'd hire 10 private investigators to make sure they're not going to kill his family.
he'd call them something like sweetheart (or anything else) in a condescending way if you get what i mean
the other character would call him smth like 'love' to annoy him or smth meaner like 'asshole'
the other character would outsmart him all of the time, but grayson would be too prideful to admit it so he'd just ignore them or stare at them weirdly.
i imagine the love interest being quite funny and being the type of person to crack jokes. they make grayson smile but he always hides it. he never admits to it when someone brings it up.
they would be the only person capable of getting a rise out of grayson. he never swears unless they provoke him.
i don't think grayson is the type of person to not apologize when he does smth wrong. although he hates them, if he says/does smth really shitty and uncalled for, he would apologize
i can see the 'who did this to you' trope happening, but grayson is the one to get hurt (somehow got in a fight or was ambushed by some people who wanted to kill him), not the other character
grayson would consider himself in debt after the other character helped him with his wound. he'd end up doing some digging and finding out that the other character wishes to travel to europe cause they never got the chance to. he'd buy them a plane ticket and book them a room at a super expensive hotel to some place.
nothing extravagant ends up happening before they confess that they love each other. it's more of a slow build up. they'll be sitting next to each other at night (why, its up to you to imagine that), and one character (im thinking the love interest is saying this, but it could also the grayson) will go 'i think i might be falling in love with you' really quietly.
the other person ends up ignoring them for days bc they love the other person too but they're scared of what might happen if they give in. eventually, though, they talk it out and get together.
even when they become lovers, they still call each other sweetheart and asshole sometimes bc it reminds them of how petty they used to be when they were younger.
late at night, one day, they'll be lying in bed and they'll start talking about what made them fall in love with the other person (a lot of tears were shed).
the love interest would constantly tease grayson about how petty, prideful, and untrustworthy he was. they'll be at an event talking to strangers when the love interest goes 'you remember when you hired 10 private investigator to do a background check on me?' and the people they're talking to just stare in shock and are slightly frightened.
this is probably the shittiest thing i've ever written but oh well T-T. i didn't want to not do it so here we are. im posting an averyjameson hcs post soon to make up for this shit.
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2,4 and 6 from prompt list part 3 ! Just wanna ask can you make a female adamsapple out of this ? If you don't like femslash or if it's not your cup of tea, nevermind then :) (just if you use female Adam, please no skinny one)
How about them having a drink together on the rooftop, and end up next morning in Lucifer's bed (after they confessed their love to each other) and both don't mind it one bit when they are sober enough .
2. “You know, I can see myself in, on top of, or under you. What do you say?” “I can see you buried six feet under my very feet if you don’t stop joking about this shit with me.” 
4. “When did you fall out of love with me?” “That’s the thing: I never fell out of love with you. You’re the one who fell out of love with me.”
6. “You have me wrapped around your fingers. Crazy part is, I don’t mind it.” 
With Female!Sinner!Adam :) Don't worry she is a curvaceous babe ;)
Adam couldn't believe his fucking luck, after he died and not only became a sinner but he was now a woman! He was still hot as fuck as a woman but that's besides the point. He couldn't be the Dickmaster without a dick!
Instead he, now she had huge boobs, an hour glass figure, long wavy hair, black and gold horns, she was still soft around the middle and thick in all the right places.
That was nearly six months ago and in that time she sold her soul to Lucifer. As a woman and a sinner she was even more defenseless, Hell was not a good place to be a woman.
Right now, Adam was on the roof of the hotel drinking some fancy wine she swiped from the bar. She just wanted to get drunk and feel nothing. "I thought I'd find you here." Adam took a long drink of wine when Lucifer came sauntering up to her. The king had a bottle of bourbon in hand. "Mind if I drink with you?"
"Fill your fucking boots." Even Adams voice was different. Now she sounded like a slightly lower pitched Verosika Mayday. "But I did come here to be alone."
"Drinking alone is just sad, I should know." Lucifer said as he took a drink, eyes roaming Adam's form. Man or woman the devil would tap that. “You know, I can see myself in, on top of, or under you. What do you say?”
“I can see you buried six feet under my very feet if you don’t stop joking about this shit with me.” Adam growled, for some reason when Lucifer got drunk he would flirt with her. "You're drunk asshole."
"I ain't even drunk yet, cutie.~" Lucifer winked, Adam hated what his words did to her. Since Eden he made her feel hot all over and heart beat fast.
"Don't fucking do that." Adam wouldn't be able to stand another heart break, bad enough Lucifer did it the first time. Adam chugged some wine, Eden hurt too much to think about and all the feelings that came with that damn garden.
Lucifer frowned drinking more. "Do what?"
"Flirt with me like you actually fucking like me!" Adam turned her sharp golden eyes on the King.
"Tell me something."
"What?" Adam growled.
“When did you fall out of love with me?” Lucifer asked, it was a risky question but he knew he needed to ask. He knew that Adam loved him back in Eden and he loved him in return.
The whole thing was complicated.
Adam was caught off guard by the question. She looked down, sadness gripping her heart. “That’s the thing: I never fell out of love with you. You’re the one who fell out of love with me.” Wine tended to make her honest, now was no different. She felt her eyes grow wet, all the promises and dreams that she and Lucifer talked about in Eden were brought to the forefront of her mind.
It hurt so much when he gave all those things to Lilith.
"I never fell out of love with you. You were all I could think about." Lucifer said as he moved closer and tucked some hair behind Adams ear. He tangled his hand in her hair and pulled her down into a kiss.
-
Adam didn't remember much about that night, some of it came back to her as she laid on silk sheets. Vague memories of mind numbing pleasure, Lucifer's hands, mouth, and oh god that tongue, not to mention the way it felt when he finally fucked her with his-
Adam's eyes snapped open, looking down she was completely naked as the day she was made in Eden under red silken sheets. She turned over to see Lucifer looking at her. "Oh good you're awake."
"Oh god, we-"
"Yes."
"Did you even use a condom?"
"You tell me." A slight shift told Adam that no, Lucifer did not use a condom. "You know I meant it, right?"
Adam thought about what he meant. "Last night?"
"Yes. Every word." Lucifer pulled her close and kissed her deeply. “You have me wrapped around your finger. The crazy part is, I don’t mind it.” 
Adam flushed, heart fluttering. She still loved him so damn much. "Yeah?"
"Yes, I love you Adam."
"I love you, too Luci." Adam melted when Lucifer kissed her and got on-top of her.
"How about I show you how much I love you, only sober this time."
Adam giggled. "Give me all your love, you handsome devil."
"As you wish darling.~"
"Oh Luci!~"
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goodluckclove · 16 hours
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Eulogy for Kafka
Hey, friends.
So at this point I've accepted that my thirteen year old tabby Kafka is likely dead. She was the king of our household, a noble individual who loved me, my wife, and no one else, and in tribute I'd like to talk about her. Join me under the read more to say goodbye to my best friend for so much of my life.
I was told you were on the verge of death when they found you. Half-starved in a field in Gilroy, California, you were nursed back to health and then adopted by my parents from the shelter as a replacement for the cat that fell before you. You were small, fully-matured yet looking still akin to an older kitten. I named you Kafka - both after the writer, and after a cat from a failed young adult novel I wrote a few years beforehand.
Kafka, your hobbies included knocking the books out of my bookshelves, scratching up my records, and at one point pulling cords from their sockets. You screamed constantly whenever I left my bedroom, to the point where I questioned whether I'd ever be able to move.
But I did move. I took you with me to Portland, Oregon, on a long car ride where you smushed your face up against the netting of your carrier. And then I brought you a few miles from that first apartment into a studio of our very own, where you ruled over the domain and once slept by my clawfoot tub as I cried in the bath. After that it was to the apartment of my now-wife, who you hesitated around the proximity of before falling fully in love.
We were hoping the house we bought together would be your final stop on this road trip. But you had other plans. After refusing to step outside your home for thirteen years, you ducked out when we weren't looking and were set loose in the suburban streets of Portland.
This hurt me at first. i wept imagining you cold and scared and alone, huddled under some bush and wishing things were different. Then something in me changed. Because you refused to go outside as a matter of principle, didn't you? I'd carry you in my arms and step out into the parking lot as a goof and you'd let out that familiar low-tone grumble.
You started peeking by the open doorway when I brought my bike in, and I'd laugh. Where do you think you're going? I'd say, almost tauntingly.
Now? You might've been thinking. No no, not now.
Wife told me last night they were giving you scratches and pets, and for the first time since I moved in, you started purring loudly. They said this a few time, suggesting they were moved and haunted by the moment.
Now, you might've decided then. Now it's okay.
I used to say you were once feral - since rehabilitated and reformed. But that was never true. You were always a feral cat, Kafka. You just found two people that you loved enough to protect and a home you felt fit to reign over. But in the moments when your biological clock told you things were ending, you did not die the king you were in life. No, you dove bac out into the wild and pitter-pattered across the damp grass and sidewalk. A beast. A warrior.
You might've ended up cold and wet, but I bet after a life of warmth and comfort that must've thrilled you. You understood the dirt, the dirt you almost died in, and maybe a part of you was certain that you would be best suited to end your time here in the arms of the earth that birthed you.
For thirteen years I was your parent. I cried into your fur. You licked your tongue across my cheek until the skin was raw. I held you up by the arm pits and made you do a little dance. You slept on my pillow and took up two-thirds of that pillow.
You saw me out of my abusive household. You saw me through terrible relationships and lonely night after lonely night. And, ultimately, you saw me to my wife.
You met my wife. You considered them. You sat on their chest and hissed when they tried to move you to get up. And gradually you understood that they were safe. The brought you toys and you actually played with them. We would go to bed at two in the morning and hear you shouting at your mouse friend Carl for upwards of twenty minutes.
If one of us came out you would look up at us so innocently. Proudly, almost. We'd congratulate you on a good hunt, because you are at your core a feral creature.
I trust you waited to leave until you knew we would be okay. You would always keep us company whenever we were upset - we'd call it Spaghetti Time, although I don't know why. And I do think we'll be okay.
For now it hurts. I wish I could've been there. I wanted you to choose ultimately, but I wanted you to choose to be with me. I'm selfish in that way, I guess.
I don't hold faith in ghosts, but I'm confident your presence will stick around our family. Based on how insistent you were on always sitting on my lap, grumbling anytime I moved too much, I don't believe you have much interest in crossing over as they say.
Bob and Nipsy will be housecats now. I bet you told them about sunbeams, and maybe the joys of hiding in cabinets. You did a great job teaching Bob on how to be a proper tabby cat. He lounged in between Riley and myself this morning, calm and sweet. Almost like he knew.
I'm going to circle the neighborhood soon to see if I can find any sign of you. If not, when we get a house the first thing we do is going to be to plant a tree in the yard in your honor. Something that flowers. I was thinking dogwood.
Thank you, Kafka. Thank you for loving me unconditionally for twelve years of my life. I will do everything I can to live in a way that respects and honors the effort you put into keeping me going.
I will love you so completely for the rest of my life. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
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unholytemple · 3 days
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thinking about late s1 samdean when they reunite with john. (tw child abuse and violence)
it’s funny how easily they fall into the same routines. they’re back hunting together again, dean plays the part of john’s well trained lap dog, and sam is once again the outlet for john’s anger.
sam’s still just as bitchy and argumentative as he was when he was a kid, and maybe it’s the disrespect or maybe it’s the fact that he has his mother’s eyes, but john can’t stand it.
john starts hitting sam again like he did when he was a kid. dean doesn’t notice at first, but when sam has an inexplicable black eye, he finds out. and he’s pissed. dean tells sam to wait in the car while he chews out their father for hitting sam. john gets a separate motel room that night.
later, sam asks dean why now, after all this time, he decides to stand up to their father.
“you’re a grown man, sammy. dad shouldn’t be hittin’ you anymore”
sam still doesn’t understand why dean would talk back to their father over something so insignificant. not until he catches dean staring at the blue bruise on sam’s face.
sam moves from his bed to join dean on his. sam’s got that faux-innocent little brother act going and he knows dean will melt for it.
“you don’t want dad to hurt me.” dean nods, confused. “you don’t want dad to hurt me because you’re the only one who gets to do that”
sam’s close to dean. far too close, and he’s getting closer. he wants dean to see every broken blood vessel in his bruise. he wants him to see the scrape from dad’s wedding ring.
“sam-”
“you raised me. it’s your right to put your hands on me. not dad’s.”
weather dean realized this was why he was angry at john for hitting sam or not, sam was right. only dean gets to hurt sammy. not some deadbeat old man who they had to chase across the country just to get his attention.
“why don’t you show daddy who i really belong to?”
dean tried, really, but john didn’t care. he looked at sam’s mauled face with disgust.
“you’re a grown man, sam. you’re too old to be picking fights with your brother.”
now all sam has is a broken nose, split lip, a yellowing bruise over his eye, and more daddy issues than a lifetime of therapy could fix. good thing he has his big brother to take care of him
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fantasyinallforms · 2 months
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If anyone needs me today I will be taking my own psychic damage from putting my little guys in devastating situations that I 100% could have prevented but didn't for the sake of good storytelling.
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poems-of-a-lover · 10 months
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i wanna be with a guy and not have to wear my binder to feel attractive to him
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notagaybastard · 7 months
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I think I am finally In love
#this is kinda weird but whenever i had a crush on someone it was just like#i would only think about them when i was almost falling asleep at 4 am and during the day they mesnt nothing to me#and now i dream about him and i think about him during every period of the day#and when he says bye to me after class or just look at me and say “schmidt :D” or stands in front of me#in a line i have to hold myself so i won't start crying and hug him because we don't have inyimacy at all#and i miss it so much when we did every project together and everyday he asked me if i was allright and i should have told him the truth#and months ago he asked me to do a project with him again but that one friend of mine who i recently stopped talking with told him that#i was already doing the project with her#an obviously lie#and he never texted me again#and i have never been jealous but i noticed hes been talking a lot to her and he barely talks to me and he doesnt know she lies all the tim#about everything and he doesnt know i wanted to accept his feelings last march but i couldn't even get out of bed that would've hurt him#and i still think i would hurt him but i want him more than ever#and hes everything i want and everything i want to be and look#and he is smart as fuck and he is funny but never offends anyone with his jokes and he never offended anyone actually#he is the sweetest person to ever exist#and my mom and aunt adore him#and who doesnt?#it hurts so bad that he isnt in love with me again and i want to work out things and i want to be good for him#last year he dated like 3 people but hes been single for almost the whole year and if he starts dating someone again#before i manage to get better ill be so sad#and i need him i need him i love his thin arms and i need him to wrap me with then and i need to rest my head on his shoulder#and i want to play minecraft with him like we used to and i want him to know i like him but i cant do it all of sudden#i need to be friends with him again but i have no idea how#i need him to like#i changed so much in the last year he probably thinks im weird and stupid but he won't say it because he is the coolest person ever#and he is so pretty and i want to adjust his glasses and kiss his hands#and i want to ask him if hes ok too#and i want to make him feel better#and i want to sit next to him
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yuujispinkhair · 18 days
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Sukuna’s the type of baby daddy that even if you break you never really broke up 😭 and if you got pregnant again there no chance in hell it could be anyone else’s kid besides his
The love you and Sukuna have is world-changing. Even after you break up, you are both still stuck on the other and unable to move on.
Pairing: Modern!Sukuna x Reader (female) Genre: Hurt + comfort, fluff, mentions of smut Word Count: 1.5k Warnings: 18+, mentions of smut but nothing explicit. Reader and Sukuna break up, but they get back together at the end of the story. There is a happy end. They already have a daughter together, and another pregnancy is mentioned at the end. This story is 18+. Minors don't interact. Divider @/benkeibear
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It's not that you aren't trying to get over Sukuna. You really do. After a week of crying your eyes out, you decide to go out. It's not even that hard to get chatted up by some guy at a bar. But when his hand lands on your knee, you practically bolt. It feels so wrong, so dirty somehow. As if your body is still Sukuna's territory and no one else is worthy of touching you.
You try again a week later and the week after, too. But none of the men you meet spark your interest. Maybe this shouldn't come as a surprise. After all, only a few weeks ago, you had Sukuna. You had the best. There simply is no one who can compare to him. No one will ever make you feel the way Sukuna did.
You regret the breakup. It was stupid. Just small things that accumulated over several weeks, combined with a bad day at work and Sukuna being grumpy when you got home. You could have handled it differently.
But now, your bed always feels cold, and your heart doesn't seem to be in your chest anymore. Instead, there is a stone in your chest, heavy and painful, while your heart is in another part of this city, in the hands of the man who will always be the one for you, even if you will never get back together with him again.
+++
Sukuna asks to see his child, but you feel unable to face him, so you cowardly text him back, telling him to just pick your daughter up from kindergarten and spend the afternoon with her. When Sukuna brings her home in the evening, you are relieved that he seems to have gotten the hint. He doesn't come inside but waits at the front door as your daughter runs up the stairs to your apartment.
But you aren't strong enough not to hurry to the large window that faces the street, gazing outside to see Sukuna's familiar tall, broad figure slowly stroll down the street toward his car. His pink hair looks just like the cherry blossoms that fall down onto the road like pretty, pink snowflakes.
You know you will never be able to look at cherry trees again without feeling sadness wash over you.
Maybe you will try going on another date with some new guy, but deep down, you know that it will be in vain. It will always feel wrong. It will always feel like something is missing. Because none of those men are Sukuna. No one can be like him. There is only one Sukuna. Everyone else will always just be second best.
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Sukuna isn't even trying to get over you. Not anymore.
On the first night after your breakup, he was a mess and stormed off to some bar, desperate for a distraction. Anything that would keep him from getting overwhelmed by his feelings.
He had some drinks and flirted with a random girl. Even took her home, thinking that sex would help him feel better. But the moment she tried to unbutton his shirt, Sukuna grabbed her wrists and stopped her.
It felt wrong. He felt wrong. As if he was cheating on you. He told the girl to leave and watched with his arms crossed as she angrily slammed his door shut before Sukuna sank down on his couch and buried his face in his hands.
He knew right then and there that it was no use to go out and try to have hookups. It wouldn't work, and it sure as hell would only make him feel worse.
In the following weeks, Sukuna worked longer and spent more time at the gym, always trying to stay busy because as soon as he got home to his deadly silent apartment, he was drowning in thoughts about you. Drowning in all those happy memories the two of you had made over the years.
You were Sukuna's love, his heart, his everything. He hadn't known or understood love until he met you. So how is he supposed to ever get over you and move on? It's impossible. You are still his everything, and you will always be.
And so it's clear as day to Sukuna that he won't even try to move on. He knows he will always be yours, whether you are together or not. He was only able to give his heart away once. And even if you don't want it anymore, it still belongs to you.
+++
Sukuna spends two days every week with his daughter, happy to see his little girl but sad because he misses the time when all three of you did things together. And when she looks at him with your eyes and asks him, "Daddy, why don't you just come home again?" Sukuna feels his heart shatter into a million pieces.
Sukuna doesn't know what to tell her. He, too, can't understand why the two of you decided to break up. It was stupid. Nothing big caused it. Just small things that added up, and looking back they seem insignificant.
"I don't know, princess. Maybe Daddy should really go home and talk to Mommy."
He decides at that moment that he will get roses and come up to your door this evening.
+++
Sukuna's chest feels painfully tight when you open the door, and he sees your face again after all those weeks, hitting him with just how much he missed you.
He hands you the roses, a beautiful huge bouquet that cost a little fortune, his eyes gazing deeply into yours,
"Please take those flowers. They come without any obligation to take me back or even talk to me. But I want to give them to you because you are still the mother of my child. And... and you will always be my woman, just like I will always be your man, even if we aren't together."
He fears he sounds like a creep, that he overstepped a boundary, and that he made you uncomfortable. But he has had lots of time to think during the last few weeks, and he promised himself that he would be more open about his feelings if he ever gets a chance to talk to you again.
You stare at Sukuna for a moment that feels like hours to him. But then he sees the tears gathering in your eyes and sees the way your hand that's holding the flowers is trembling. You breathe a soft "Kuna..." and Sukuna knows. He knows that you are still his, just like he is still yours.
He pulls you into his arms a split second later, crushing the beautiful roses between your bodies as he hugs you tightly. And you melt so perfectly against him as if you are made for him. Your face is pressed against his broad chest, and you snuggle against him, every centimeter of you touching him. You cling to him so tightly that it's almost painful, but it's the first time since your breakup that Sukuna feels like he can breathe again.
"I am sorry. I am so sorry for everything."
You both speak the words at the same time, eyes locked, small relieved smiles playing around your mouths.
You tell Sukuna to stay for dinner, and he agrees. He takes over the kitchen again, his kitchen, and prepares a dinner that he knows his two girls always loved. He sits at your table again, jokes around with his little daughter, and basks in the way you look at him with your eyes full of happiness.
Sukuna doesn't just stay for dinner but stays the whole night.
He kisses you after the two of you bring your daughter to bed. Pushes you gently against the wall and claims your lips again, though deep down, he knows that those lips always belonged to him, even when you were apart.
He grins when you laugh when he picks you up and carries you princess-style to the bedroom. Your lips are on his again, kissing him as if you can't get enough of him, making it hard to walk, but Sukuna would find his way to your bedroom even blind.
He locks the door behind you, turning around only to find your hands on his chest, unbuttoning his shirt while your lips find his again in another passionate but tender kiss that makes Sukuna moan softly into your mouth.
He makes slow love to you in the bed you bought together all those years ago, showing you what it feels like to be loved and desired and cherished endlessly. And you wrap your arms and legs around him and meet each of his slow thrusts while you moan his name softly, and tears run down your cheeks, showing Sukuna the same love he is showing you.
Sukuna doesn't leave again after that night.
The two of you talk things out, and only a week later, Sukuna finally puts a ring on your finger and tells your little daughter that she needs to pick a pretty dress because she will be a flower girl at the wedding.
And only a month later, you place a positive pregnancy test on Sukuna's pillow, making both of you burst out laughing when you realize that you and Sukuna must have made another baby that first night when he came back and brought you the roses.
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Thank you so much for the ask! It made me feel so many things, so I had to get these feelings out and write this little story 😭 I hope you enjoyed it and that it made you emotional, too. How could there ever be anyone else after Sukuna? It's really not possible 😭
Thank you so much for reading! Comments and reblogs would be very sweet 💗
3K notes · View notes
surftrips · 5 months
Text
SWEET NOTHING
pairing: luke castellan x reader
summary: y/n comforts luke after he sees percy claimed by poseidon.
word count: 600+
a/n: y'all i know. how many more morally grey characters can i write fics for? i couldn't help it, he's so bf in the first two episodes so this takes place in a world where he’s done nothing wrong <3
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You watched as your boyfriend’s face changed after seeing the newest camp member, Percy Jackson, claimed by his father, Poseidon. 
Luke wasn’t one of the unclaimed kids, but he might as well have been. His relationship with his father Hermes was a strained one, but he pretended like it didn’t bother him. 
But now, it was hard not to notice the sadness and frustration that had clouded Luke’s face as he watched the trident appear above Percy’s head. Before you could go over to comfort him, he had already run away from the scene. 
You decided to give him some space, figuring that he had gone back to his cabin. As the other camp members slowly dispersed, you looked around for Annabeth. 
Upon laying your eyes on the dark-haired girl in the crowd of people, you beckoned her over. 
“Hey! Did you see that?” she asked you, excitedly.
“Yeah, that was crazy!” you admitted. “How’d you know he was Poseidon’s?”
“I’ve been watching him.”
“Of course,” you smiled. Luke had told you about Annabeth's desire to find “The Chosen One.” 
“Wait- where’s Luke?” she asked, as if on cue.
“I was gonna talk to you about that- I think he ran back to his cabin.”
“What- why?”
“I think he had some feelings about Percy being claimed, if you know what I mean.” 
“Oh,” Annabeth replied, putting the pieces together. 
“Yeah, I’m giving him some space right now, but do you have any advice on how to approach this? I don’t want to upset him any more.”
“Look, Y/N, you’re his girlfriend. Just do your best to comfort him and I’m sure he’ll start to feel better.”
“I know, but you’re his sister! You know him best, what if I say the wrong thing?” 
“You can’t say the wrong thing. He loves you, Y/N. He just needs to see that someone is there for him.” 
“Okay, thank you, Annabeth,” you gave her a hug before heading in the direction of the Hermes cabin. 
You were relieved to find that the other campers had not gotten back yet. You gently pushed open the door and found yourself facing your boyfriend’s back sitting on his bed. 
“Luke?” you called out.
He turned to face you, hastily swiping at the tears that had fallen onto his cheeks. 
“Oh, sweet boy, come here,” you ran over to take him in your arms. He let his tears fall again, and your heart broke seeing him like this. You knew that he acted brave all the time, but deep down, he was hurting.
“Hey, it’s okay. Just let it out,” you attempted to calm him down. 
“Why doesn’t he care about me?” he cried.
“Baby, it’s okay. He doesn’t matter, alright? It has nothing to do with you.” 
“Yes, it does. Percy killed a minotaur and broke Clarisse’s spear and his dad just came swooping in.” 
“Look at me,” you pulled away to lift his face up. “You are so, so special. Anyone that knows you can say that. Hell, you’re the best swordsman in this camp. But you know what else? You’re kind, and caring, and you have all this compassion in your heart, despite it all. If he can’t see your worth in that, then that’s a reflection of him, not you.” 
Luke didn’t say anything, instead he worked on catching his breath as you continued to rub his back and lay kisses on his forehead. 
“Thank you,” he said after a moment, still sniffling. 
“For what, baby?” 
“For seeing me. And staying.”
“To know you is to love you, Luke Castellan,” you gave him another kiss, this time on his lips.
4K notes · View notes
serpentandlily · 5 months
Text
No Going Back - Azriel x Reader
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No Going Back - Azriel x Cassian’sSister!Reader
Summary: Azriel has been your mate, your husband, your love for centuries. But a certain Archeron sister has him questioning your relationship after all this time. You soon find out that there are simply things that can not be unsaid or undone. And sometimes, there are things you can’t come back from.
Warnings: angst angst angst and a little violence
A/n: based on this request. this one hurt guys :(
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Azriel was late. 
Again.
You sighed, leaning back in your chair and tossing your napkin on the table. You had waited for him but at this point, the food was cold and your appetite had disappeared so you began to clear the table instead. 
It had been like this ever since the Archeron sisters had become permanent residents of the Night Court. For months now, your mate had been coming home late, skipping breakfast, leaving the bed before you even woke. He had become a scarce presence in this apartment, the one of the two of you had bought together years and years ago.
Tonight was no different. 
It had started out slow, innocent. Feyre’s sisters were having a hard time adjusting to their new lives and Elain had started clinging to Azriel at some point. You understood why. He was someone who wouldn’t push you more than you needed and would be there for you as a quiet, steady presence. 
You hadn’t minded it at first. Elain was clearly struggling a lot. But at some point, Azriel had begun to prioritize her over you. Whatever Elain needed always came first now. He had canceled dates, skipped out on dinners, left parties early—all for her. 
And it was starting to hurt.
You weren’t stupid nor naive. You knew what was happening. You were watching your mate slowly fall in love with someone else. 
Azriel had always liked playing the hero. First he was the hero for Mor, saving her when she had been discarded in Autumn, beaten and nearly dead. 
And then he was the hero for you. 
You were a bastard born Illyrian, ripped from their mother’s side as soon as you were able to complete chores on your own. You hadn’t known your father. Hadn’t even known you had a brother until he came storming the camp one day, looking for your mother. 
Cassian had almost killed you during his fit of rage once he had learned what your camp had done to your mother. He had gone on a killing spree, sparing no one until he came upon you. But he recognized your scent, took one look at you and immediately knew who you were in relation to him. 
You were only nine when he had saved you from that camp. Cassian took you that day and brought you home with him. Rhys’s mother took you in with no question but Cassian had practically raised you.
You had met Azriel and Rhysand that day as well but you had no idea what the shadowsinger was to you until years and years later. 
Once Rhysand was in power, he banned wing clipping. It pissed the Illyrian males off, of course, which led to them kidnapping you to try and clip your wings as a message for the High Lord, knowing Rhysand cared about you as much as he had cared for his own sister.
Their plan was to keep you locked up until they could get a hold of your brother, Cassian, to tie him up and make him watch what they would do to you. You were beaten within an inch of your life and kept in a cell for three days before Azriel rescued you.
You still remember the image of him stalking into your cell, his eyes lit with a feral rage. He looked like a dark Angel straight from Hell. The minute his gaze found yours, the mating bond snapped into place. 
Azriel saved you and your wings that day. And afterwards, he sat by your bedside night and day until you were fully healed. He held you through all the nightmares, waited patiently for you to be ready to accept the mating bond. And then he had trained you into a fortified spy and warrior, an equal. 
But none of that mattered now.
None of that mattered because now there was a new damsel that needed saving.
And it wasn't you.
Not anymore.
You pulled out your weapons bag from the closet and began to lay out your daggers and swords on the dining table. You had devised a plan to make Azriel feel more needed in your relationship because maybe that was what was lacking. At least, you hoped that's all this was. You hoped he wasn't truly falling in love with another female. 
Rhys had given you a job today that was supposed to be for both you and Azriel, but you were going to ask for his help—make him feel like you need him and hopefully that would make him come back to you. 
An hour later, you heard the front door open and close before his scent of cedar and night-chilled mist filled the apartment. You smiled, turning around to greet him. He gave you a half-smile in response. 
You stood on your tippy toes to kiss him as he passed by, but he swerved his head to the side, making your kiss land on his cheek instead. Your heart clenched as he walked away. 
"You're finally home," you said, trying to not let the hurt you felt seep into your tone. "I saved you some dinner if you're hungry."
He shook his head, sitting on the couch to unlace his boots. 
"That's alright. I already ate," he replied, barely looking at you.
Your fingers tightened around the dagger in your hand. Elain had cooked him dinner again, that much was obvious. Your smile dropped as the scent of jasmine and honey met your nose, only confirming your suspicions. 
Azriel strode to you now, looking over your shoulder at all the weapons on the table. 
"What's this?" 
"Rhys gave me a mission—some spy work in Hewn City," you said. "I was going to leave to complete it tomorrow but I was hoping you'd come with me. I could use the help." 
Azriel snorted. "When was the last time you needed help?”
You frowned as he breezed by you, heading towards the stairs that led to the loft where your bedroom was. "It's a high value, dangerous target. I guess I could do it alone but I would feel better if you were there with me."
"I can't, Y/n," he said, stopping at the bottom of the stairs to look at you. "I'm sorry. I already made plans with Elain."
Your heart dropped to your stomach. Here he was, once again picking Elain over you.
"Really? And you can't cancel those plans just for the day? I really need your help, Az."
"You don't," he said. "I trained you, babe. I know you don't need my help anymore." 
"Well maybe I just need you. It's that so bad? Maybe I just want to do this with you."
"I'm sorry, but Elain needs me."
You threw your hands in the air, your cheeks turning red. "What does Elain need that is so important that you can't reschedule it for a different day?" 
"She wants to go into the city. Wants to see more of Velaris. It's a huge step for her, Y/n. One she needs me for."
"And Feyre can't take her? Or Nesta? She has two sisters who are perfectly capable of showing her around Velaris."
"Well, she asked me," Azriel sighed. "And I already agreed."
"Why is it that you can bail on me all the time, miss dinners with me, skip out on our dates," you growled. "But the moment it comes to Elain, you won't even bother rescheduling a simple outing?"
Azriel narrowed his eyes at you and crossed his arms over his chest. "What exactly are you insinuating, Y/n?"
Your heart was pounding, a sick feeling in your stomach. How could he not see? How could he not see how much he was choosing her over you, his own mate?
"I'm just saying that you've been spending a lot of time with Elain," you argued. "I hardly see you anymore, Az. I just want my mate back." 
"Well, you're not the one who needs me right now, Y/n. You're not the one who's gone through immeasurable trauma. You're not the one who just barely stopped starving yourself. Elain needs help right now. Am I supposed to just turn my back on her after everything she's been through?"
You wanted to laugh. You would've if you weren't so upset. Elain wasn't the only person in Prythian to go through trauma. All of you had gone through so much. For him to disregard you like that… after everything… you felt your heart cracking into pieces. 
"She has her sisters to help her! Even Nuala and Cerridwen have been helping her adjust to life here! Why does she need you as well?"
"I can't believe you're acting like this," Azriel snarled. "I'm tired, Y/n. I don’t want to do this right now.”
"Acting like what? Acting upset because my mate is prioritizing someone else? Upset that my mate is barely home these days? Upset that my mate has been spending all his time with another female? How would you feel? How would you feel if I started spending all my time with another male, Azriel? How would you feel waking up to an empty bed, eating dinner alone while I was out with another guy?"
"It's not like that and you know it! Don't make this about you, Y/n. I thought you were better than that."
"Are you serious, Az? I have been nothing but patient and kind. I have given you so much grace. I have had to sit back and watch my mate cater to another female for months now. Months! And I only ask for one day. For you to come with me for one job and you can't even do that?" 
"Well, you can wait a little longer," Azriel said, his face cut from stone. "She needs me right now. Me. Not Feyre. Not Nesta. Not Nuala and Cerridwen. Me."
"What about her own godsdamn mate!"
"She doesn't want him and she owes him nothing. She doesn't want his help,” Azriel growled. You didn’t miss the flash of jealousy in his eyes that made your stomach twist.
"Of course she doesnt. Why would she when she can just use my mate instead? I can't believe you're picking her over me, Azriel."
"I'm not picking her over you! And I wouldn't."
"You already have! Each and every day you choose her over me. Why? Please, Azriel, explain it to me because I don't understand!"
"I already told you," Azriel growled. "She is going through a lot at the moment. You don't need me right now but she does."
"I don't care what she needs! I don't care! I'm tired of pretending like this doesn't bother me. She clearly has feelings for you and instead of discouraging her, instead of distancing yourself, you just keep running back to her! Why? You owe me an answer, Azriel!"
"I already told—”
"The truth, Azriel! Give me the fucking truth."
"Fine," Azriel snarled, his eyes going dark, his face as cold as the winter snow outside. 
The room was silent for a moment. Silent except for your heavy breathing, your heart still echoing in your chest. You felt like you were going to be sick. You hadn't expected to blow up like this but you couldn't take it anymore. 
Finally Azriel let out a sigh, deflating a bit. "I've been spending some time thinking… of us, of our family, of everything and I can't help… I can't help but think maybe the cauldron got things wrong. It doesn't make sense. Three sisters, three brothers. My brothers got two of the sisters but the other one is given to another? I can't help but question everything, Y/n. You have to understand. You know the cauldron doesn't always get things right… maybe it got this wrong."
With every word he spoke, your heart cracked more and more. You blinked in disbelief, staring at the male that you had called your love for over two hundred years now. A male you had built your life with, a male you were connected to in a very primal sense of the word. A male you had expected to be with forever.
And here he was, telling you he thinks the cauldron was wrong in making the two of you mates. Telling you that he thinks some other female should be his mate. He might as well stick a dagger straight through your heart. You were certain that would be less painful than this.
Gods, your ears were ringing. Tears lined your eyes. All of your paranoia the last few months, your feelings of inadequacy every time you saw Elain, the female he was spending all this time with over you, all of it was true. He had been falling in love with another girl… right in front of you and your family. 
"Say something," Azriel murmured. "Please."
You blinked, hugging yourself as his words replayed in your mind over and over again.
"Is that… Is that how you truly feel? Would you really rather have Elain as a mate? You think we shouldn't have been mated… that the cauldron made a mistake?"
"Fuck, I don't know! I don't know, Y/n. All I know is that my two brothers are mated to two sisters and the third… Elain.... I can't help but wonder if we would be better suited together. I'm sorry, Y/n, but you have to understand how it looks from my perspective. Please."
You shook your head, backing up. 
"So that's what you've been doing? Testing the waters? Seeing if she would be a better wife to you, a better partner?"
"No, fuck, this is coming out all wrong," Azriel groaned. "It didn't start out that way, please believe me, Y/n. I never intended on developing feelings for her. It just sort of happened naturally and I… I've just been trying to wrap my head around it all."
You couldn't breath, couldn't think.
Your mate, your husband, your one true love had fallen for another girl. Believed that he should be mated to her instead of you. 
Were you not good enough for him? Not pretty enough? Not powerful enough? What did Elain have that you didn’t?
"So you think that you and Elain should be mates. Your brothers got mated to two beautiful high fae females, and you… you're the one struck with some lowly Illyrian and not the other beautiful sister. So it must be a mistake, right?"
"Don't turn it into that, Y/n. Don't diminish it," Azriel snapped. "It has nothing to do with your looks or who is more beautiful or High Fae. I could care less about that shit."
"But it does, doesn't it? You already think you're so unworthy and this just proves it. To be mated to an Illyrian and not the third made sister."
"I knew I should've never talked to you about this," Azriel growled. "I was trying to figure it out on my own. I didn't want to hurt you, Y/n. I didn't want this to happen."
"Well it has and you did," you snapped. 
He had hurt you. Immensely so. 
Tears began to drip down your cheeks. Azriel took a step towards you at the sight of your tears but stopped himself. Your chest heaved as you turned around, staring out the window in your apartment to Velaris, where people were laughing and dancing on the streets. Partying, having the time of their lives, while yours was ending.
"Y/n—"
“Have you slept with her? Kissed her? Have you cheated on me with Elain?”
“I-I…Y/n, I’m sorry. Please—”
That was enough of an answer for you. You couldn’t even fathom the thought of kissing another male and here was Azriel, basically confessing that he fucked Elain behind your back.
You wanted to scream. Wanted to throw things at him. Wanted to tear this whole apartment down. 
"Get out."
"What?"
"Get out," you snapped. "Get out!"
You heard a resigned sigh before the front door opened and closed. He hadn't even tried to fight for you. Hadn't tried to make things better. He just left… left you falling apart, with no one to pick up the pieces of your breaking heart.
A sob finally broke out from your lips and you crumbled to the floor, crying your heart out. 
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You lingered in the shadows in the alleyway across from the illustrious bar in Hewn City. Your target had gone inside over an hour ago and you were waiting for him to leave so you could trail him back to his apartment. 
You knew you shouldn’t be here right now. You were being reckless. Your mind was still a mess from last night, your heart broken. Every breath came with a deep pain in your chest. You wanted nothing more than to go home and cry and cry… but you were hoping this would distract you from the pain Azriel had left you with.
You had tried tugging on the bond a little earlier but you were met with an obsidian wall. Azriel had completely closed you off and you knew that meant he was with Elain, pretending to be her mate instead of yours.
You squeezed your eyes shut, your breath trembling as a few tears slid down your cheeks. Was he fucking her right now? Bringing her flowers and kissing her the way he used to with you?
Why weren’t you enough for him? Why weren’t you the female he wanted? The cauldron had gifted the two of you a mating bond and still it wasn’t enough to make him want you apparently.
The door to the bar swinging open had you standing up straight. A handsome High Fae male walked out from it and your eyes narrowed on your target. You slinked away in the shadows, following him down the streets.
He turned a corner and you rushed to follow, twisting to face the dark alleyway only to see it empty. Your brows furrowed in confusion as you walked down the narrow path.
You were halfway down the dark alleyway when you felt the cold tip of a dagger press against your throat. It pricked your skin, causing blood to trickle down your neck.
“Well what do we have here? A little Illyrian female, all by herself,” his voice purred from behind you. “Did you think I didn’t notice you following me, little bird?”
He spun you around, pressing you back against the wall, dagger still at your throat.
You tried to use your magic but your siphons sputtered out. It took you a minute to realize that his dagger was coated in faebane. You let out a panicked cry, trying to kick him away but he only pressed his body further against you. 
You were so fucked. You tried to tug on the mating bond again, if only to reach Azriel so he could send help. But that obsidian wall was still there. 
“I know who you are,” the male murmured. “That bastard’s sister. The shadowsinger’s mate.”
“Let me go,” you snarled, trying to twist from his grip but he pressed his dagger against your neck harder, making you stop.
“I don’t think so,” he teased, smiling. “You and I are going to have a lot of fun together, sweetheart.” 
He spun you around again, pressing your face into the brick wall. You cried as you felt his dagger run down your wing.
You tugged and tugged on the mating bond. Only silence greeted you. 
“But first, I think you’d look so much prettier without these.”
You died at the first drag of his dagger down the base of your wing. Died as he dug that dagger into the tendon, ripping up the nerves and muscle. Died as he severed off your left wing before moving to your right. Died as excruciating pain rattled your entire body.
Died as you cried out for your mate, for your brother, for anyone to come save you as the male laughed at your pleas.
Died as you tugged and tugged on your mating bond, crying and pleading for Azriel over and over again only to be met with cold, bitter silence. 
You died in that alleyway before your heart had even stopped beating.
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Azriel grabbed the plate of brussel sprouts from Elain, nudging the kitchen door open with his shoulder, and walking into the dining room. He placed the plate on the dining table, smiling at Elain lightly as she followed him with a large bowl of mashed potatoes.
Rhysand, Feyre, Amren, Cassian and Nesta were already at the table, waiting. He took a seat next to Elain and Rhysand shot him a confused look. 
“Az, where’s Y/n?” 
Azriel shrugged. “Still on the mission you sent her on.”
“What?”
“The job in Hewn City?”
Rhysand looked even more confused. “Why aren’t you with her? I specifically told her not to go alone–to take you with her. This was a two person job.”
“She didn’t tell me that,” Azriel said, also confused.
“Wait, what’s going on?” Cassian asked. 
“I gave your sister a report about some happenings in Hewn City that I needed her and Azriel to check out. But I made it very clear that it was a job with a dangerous target. What did she say to you about it, Azriel?”
Azriel felt his face heat up as all the attention fell on him. “She asked me to go with her but I was meant to take Elain into the city today so I told her I couldn’t. She never told me that you ordered her to take me with her.” 
Rhysand cursed, standing up. Cassian jolted at Rhysand’s reaction, also standing up in a panic. 
“She asked you to go and you told her no?” Cassian asked, his voice darker now as he stared at his sister’s mate. “Why the fuck would you let her go alone if she asked you for help?”
“I didn’t think she would need help,” Azriel said, carefully, also rising from his seat. “She didn’t tell me that Rhys said it was dangerous!”
“She shouldn’t need to! My sister asked you for your help, your mate asked you for help, and you told her no? Why the fuck would you do that?”
“Elain needed help,” Azriel argued back. 
Elain’s cheeks turned red as the attention drifted to her for a second. “I just wanted to see more of the city. I’m sorry.”
“Why didn’t you ask one of us to take her?” Feyre questioned, staring at Azriel with an odd look. “I could’ve or Nesta.” 
Elain turned even more red, pressing her lips together. Amren’s eyes darted between the pair, narrowing. 
“You’ve both been messing around behind Y/n’s back, haven’t you?” Amren had always been too observant. 
“What?” Cassian exclaimed, his face darkening. “That’s not true, Azriel? Right? He wouldn’t do that to his mate. He wouldn’t do that to Y/n.”
Azriel said nothing, shame pouring down on him. But he didn’t have to. Dark talons ripped open his mental shield, sorting through his mind.
“Get the fuck out of my head, Rhysand,” Azriel snarled, baring his teeth. 
Rhysand had seen enough, his face paling as he stared at Azriel with wide eyes. Cassian’s face dropped.
“What did you see, Rhys?” He asked.
“Amren’s right,” Rhys barely choked out. “Azriel… how could you? Y/n is your mate.”
“I’m going to fucking kill you!” Cassian roared, hopping over the dining table to tackle Azriel to the floor. Elain screamed, barely making it out of range as the two males fell to the floor. He only managed to land a punch before Rhysand pulled him away. 
“We can’t do this right now,” Rhysand growled. “We need to find Y/n. She shouldn’t be in Hewn City alone. I’ve been trying to reach her but I can’t sense her.”
“What do you mean you can’t sense her?” Cassian was more panicked now. 
“Are you sure she went to Hewn City today, Azriel? I should be able to reach her from this distance.”
“I’m not sure, I assumed.”
“What the fuck do you mean you’re not sure?” Cassian glared at him, crossing his arms over his broad chest.
Azriel had the good sense to look away, rubbing the back of his neck. “We had a bit of an argument last night. She kicked me out so I was giving her space. When I went back this morning, she was already gone.”
“Why didn’t you go after her? Why were you guys fighting?” Feyre asked. 
“She figured it out, didn’t she?” Amren interjected again. “She found out about you and Elain.”
Cassian let out a curse. “Fuck! Find out where my sister is, Azriel, or I swear to the Gods I will fucking end you.”
“Cassian,” Nesta chastised, placing a hand on his arm to calm him down. But he shrugged her hand off, too angry at the fact that his friend had hurt his sister so badly. 
Azriel didn’t need to be told. He was also panicking now, wondering why you hadn’t told him that he was supposed to go with you today. He would question it later, for now he just wanted to find you. He opened his end of the mating bond back up, feeling guilty that he had kept you closed off all day.
He gasped, folding over, as a wave of your emotions crashed into him. 
Fear. 
You were sending pure fear down the bond. 
“What? What is it?!”
Cassian grabbed Azriel by the upper arms. Azriel ignored him, tugging on the bond, hoping you would respond but nothing. Nothing but fear and pain traveled back to him. His shadows exploded around him, wailing in agony.
“She… She’s in danger,” Azriel gasped. “I need to go. I need to—”
He didn’t say anything else before he disappeared in a swirl of shadows. He stepped out into Hewn City, racing down the streets, trying to follow the mating bond to you. He heard Rhysand winnow in behind him with Cassian but he didn’t pause.
He shouted your name as he ran, pushing faeries out of the way, trampling through stalls. Rhysand and Cassian were right behind him. He ran and ran into the even shadier parts of the city, until it led him to a dark alleyway.
He paused as he scented blood. A small figure was curled up on the floor, in a pool of blood. No one else in sight. He rushed forward, screaming your name in terror as he realized it was you lying in a pool of your own blood.
He skidded to a halt, falling to his knees next to you. He let out a cry and pulled you into his lap. Your wings. Your wings were gone. Your back was covered in deep wounds, your heartbeat so faint he almost couldn’t hear it. He let out a wail, shaking your limp body in his arms.
“No,” he cried. “No no no no no.” 
He patted your cheek. “Wake up, baby. Please, wake up!”
Your eyes remained closed, your body still limp.
He heard Rhysand and Cassian come to a stop behind him, panting. Cassian let out a noise of horror at the sight of his wingless sister, turning around to vomit against the wall. Rhysand cursed, kneeling next to Azriel.
Azriel growled at him, yanking your body closer to his chest.
“Azriel,” Rhysand said, softly. “We need to get her back to Velaris. She needs a healer, now, before she bleeds out.”
Azriel let out a cry, standing up and hoisting you into his arms. Rhysand placed a hand on Azriel and Cassian, winnowing them back to the River House. Azriel brushed past the group waiting in the foyer, ignoring their cries of alarm as he rushed into one of the bedrooms and placed your body on the bed.
He knelt down next to you, grabbing your hand as tears poured down his face. Your breaths were growing thinner, your heartbeat fading. He could feel the mating bond slowly tearing itself apart.
“Don’t do this,” he cried. “Please, Y/n, you can’t do this to me. You can’t die. You don’t get to do this. Not like this. Please.”
Cassian burst into the room, Madja right behind him. The older female let out a long breath at the sight of you on the bed and immediately got to work. Cassian ripped Azriel away from you, tossing him on the ground.
“Please,” Azriel begged Madja. “Please don’t let her die. Please.”
“She’s not going to die,” Madja proclaimed. “Not on my watch. But you all need to get out of my way. Send one of my healers in here to assist me.”
It took both Cassian and Rhysand to drag Azriel out of the room and away from his heavily injured mate. They had barely made it back to the living room when he was suddenly slammed against the wall.
Cassian’s fist met his jaw and he felt blood pool in his mouth. Cassian punched him again and again, crashing to the floor with him as Azriel’s legs gave out. 
“You fucking prick,” Cassian shouted. “You were supposed to be there with her and you let her go alone! You did this! This is your fault!”
Feyre was sobbing in the background, being held back by Rhysand who knew better than to get in between two Illyrian’s fighting. Elain, on the other hand, rushed forward.
“Azriel!”
But Nesta grabbed her before she could get any farther. Her face paled as Cassian growled at her. “I’ll deal with you later.”
Elain let out a noise of distress, looking at Nesta but Nesta just pressed her lips together and looked away, disappointed.
Cassian focused his attention back on Azriel. He pummeled him, shouting and screaming. They were both crying, a mess of blood and tears. 
“You are her mate! You were supposed to protect her! And you failed–You failed her!”
Azriel barely fought back. He let Cassian beat him up knowing he deserved it.
Rhysand finally placed a hand on Cassian’s shoulder. “Enough.”
Cassian paused, still crouched over Azriel. He grabbed the shadowsinger by the collar before slamming his head back on the ground and leaning in close to snarl in his ear.
“I will never forgive you for this. Never.” 
Rhysand grabbed him by the back of his shirt, lifting him off of Azriel. 
“Cassian, your sister needs you right now,” Rhys murmured. “She’s more important.” 
“If I see his face again, I will kill him, Rhys,” Cassian snarled at his High Lord. “I swear to the Gods I will.” 
“I know,” Rhys whispered with his own despair. He knew this was the last time he’d see Azriel and Cassian together. Knew his family was about to be torn apart for the first time in centuries. “I know.”
Cassian spit out blood on Azriel before storming away, back to the room where his sister lay unconscious. Azriel sat up slowly, pushing himself back against the wall and drawing his knees up to his chest. He hung his head between his knees, tears dropping onto the wooden floor.
Rhysand knelt down next to him. “Azriel, what the fuck? Why would you… what have you done?”
“I fucked up, Rhys,” Azriel muttered. “I fucked up.” 
────────────
You woke up days later. You immediately felt the absence of your wings. You groaned, trying to sit up and failing. A glass shattered against the floor and you looked up to see Azriel hovering in the doorway.
“You’re awake. Don’t… don’t try to move,” he breathed out, rushing forward. He knelt down next to the bed, grabbing your hand as tears formed in his eyes. “You’re awake.”
You pulled your hand away from him. He was the last person you wanted to see right now. It hurt just to see his face, his words were constantly replaying in your head along with the image of him and Elain together. The last thing you remembered was trying to call for help down the mating bond and being met with silence. 
“My wings are gone,” you whispered, more to yourself than anything. Your voice was hoarse, raspy from disuse. “My wings…”
“I know. I know and I’m so sorry, Y/n. You have no idea how sorry I am,” Azriel pleaded. “Gods, I am so fucking sorry, baby. For everything. For everything I said to you. For what I’ve done. For closing off the mating bond. For not going with you to Hewn City. I am so sorry.”
You said nothing. Just stared at him. What could you say? He had cheated on you, closed you off, left you alone. You had lost your wings because of him.
“Baby, please, say something.”
“I want Cassian,” you whispered. “I want my brother.” 
“I know, just please,” Azriel cried. “Please, just talk to me. I am so sorry, baby. I am so sorry. I will do anything for your forgiveness. I will do anything to fix this.”
“Cassian,” you murmured again. “I want Cassian!”
“I know, I know,” Azriel said. “Just please tell me what I can do to fix this. I will do anything. I’m sorry for what I said. I’m sorry for everything I’ve done. I regret it so much. I’m sorry I ignored you. I’m sorry I didn’t go with you. I’m so sorry. Please just tell me we can fix this.”
You choked on a sob, turning over so you didn’t have to look at him anymore. 
“I can’t unhear your words, Azriel. I can’t forget how you betrayed me,” you cried. “And I will never be able to forget how I cried for help and you closed me off. There are some things you just can’t unsay or undo. There is no going back from this.” 
“Please,” Azriel’s voice was full of sadness and regret but all you could feel was the pain he had caused you. “That can’t be true.”
“Please, leave,” you whispered, your tears sliding off onto your pillow. “Please.” 
“I can’t, Y/n. I can’t leave you. Not like this. I love you.”
“No, you don’t,” You said, softly. “We both know you don’t. I know who you love and it isn’t me, Azriel. Now please, leave. I’m begging you. There is no going back. There is no future for us after this. Please, just leave.” 
Silence so loud, it felt like the air was screaming. There was no denying your words. Azriel might regret what he did, but it didn’t change the fact that he did it. Those words had come from his mouth. He had made a choice when he decided to fuck Elain behind your back. He didn’t want you as his mate anymore.
Maybe he never did. 
You heard Azriel sigh and stand, his footsteps retreating. The door opening and closing was both your relief and your undoing. 
3K notes · View notes
gh0stsp1d3r · 6 months
Text
ℛℯ𝓁𝒶𝓍
a/n- Give my boy a break 😭 no warnings, angst to fluff. But this is like my second time writing for him so I don’t have his character completely down and analyzed ): hopefully it’s good
fnaf masterlist
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You knew he was having a hard time with everything. His hands were on his forehead, as Abby rambled on at the dinner table. His eyes stayed glued on the bills, wondering how he’d pay for it.
He was just fired from another job, some job at a pizzeria this time. The pay wasn’t good, anyways, but it saved Abby from having to go to Jane.
“Hey, Abby, why don’t you go show me your new drawing?” You said, interrupting her rambling. Mike looked up at you, shaking his head. His eyes saying “it’s fine.” But you shook your head back, and gave him a small smile.
“Okay.” She said, jumping up from the seat and grabbing your hand, leading her to the room.
After a while, you tucked her in. In a way, she thought of you as like a mother.
“Goodnight, Abby.” You said with a smile, she smiled back and you shut the door.
You went into the living room, where Mike was staring off into space as he cleaned up the dishes.
You came up behind him, he jumped, not expecting you.
“She asleep?” He mumbled.
“Yeah. Mike…” you started, as he dried his hands.
“Hmm?”
“Come on. Let’s sit down for a second.” You said, he furrowed his eyebrows. Was this your way of breaking up with him? A million thoughts ran into his head, his anxiety getting the better of him.
“Hey, it’s nothing bad.” It’s like you could read his mind. You put your hand on top of his as you sat on the bed. He sat across from you.
“What is it?”
“I just.. I noticed you’ve been stressed, and I didn’t really wanna tell you this cause I know you would be all ‘we’re fine!’ And stuff. I got a second job. And I think that you just need to take a break for a second-“
“Wha- Y/n- how’s that even gonna-“
“Work out? It will. I promise. I’ll still be here every night, and I know you’re struggling. Mike, I just want the best for you.” You said, looking up at his glassy eyes. You were too good for him, he thought.
“We’ll make up the bill, and we’ll figure everything out. Together. I promise.” You said, smiling at him again.
“But why would you-“
“Because I want you to relax. I love you, and I would do anything for you. A second job isn’t gonna hurt, okay?”
Tears start to fall down, the weight of everything was crashing down on him. Abby, getting fired, Garrett, and now he felt like he was burdening you.
You frown, and scoot closer to him. You wrap an arm around him, he cries into your shoulder.
“You’re not a burden, Mike.” You mumbled.
“I love you.” He said, and you smiled. That was all you ever needed from him.
4K notes · View notes
gimmeurtmi · 15 days
Text
breathe — 2min
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pairing: kim seungmin x fem!reader x lee minho
tags: established relationship, polyamory, bdsm, smut!!!🔞
warnings: swearing, throuple, mxm, degradation, pet play, breath play, collars and leashes, anal!!, butt plugs, oral (m receiving), nipple play (f), choking, seungmin and his canonically established pain kink, thigh humping, unprotected sex, sub/dom dynamics, sub!reader, mean dom!seung, soft dom!minho, implied subspace, use of “slut”, “bunny”, “bubs”, “pet”, “dumb”, slight humiliation kink, choking on cum, use of a non-verbal stop light system, reader goes yellow but it’s all good, absolutely sappy in the end, smut with so many feelings, lmk if i missed something!
inspo: 2min in the new teaser pics
notes: again, i got carried away. it appears the dirtier i try to make something the sappier it turns out. i think i started this two days ago and my mood drastically changed from horny as fuck to in love as fuck. please let me know how this turned out 🥹
{ wc: 5610 }
“And you’re sure you want to do this?” Minho asks, softly, as he turns the collar around in his hands.
It’s pink, a little bell hanging off the metal heart in the middle, three different slots available to tighten for size.
Seungmin bought it last week, after five whole days of discussions.
You asked your boyfriends for a collar, and Seungmin instantly agreed. Although it took a little more time to persuade Minho. He wanted it, you could tell by the crimson shade of his ears as soon as you initially brought the idea up—but Minho was the kind of boyfriend that never wanted to hurt you. Even though he knew you enjoyed it, he always wanted to protect you. Seungmin understood both of you equally, which was what helped the three of you work as flawlessly as you did. Seungmin shared Minho’s concerns, heard them and nodded his head silently, while also teasing you for how excited the idea made you.
In the end, Seungmin showed you three collars and when your eyes lingered a few seconds longer on the pink one he added it to his cart that night.
Yesterday the package arrived.
“Minho, I’m sure,” you promise him, “it’s gonna be so fucking hot.”
Minho smirked at you, shy and excited, his eyes locked on yours.
“You know Kim Seungmin loves you on your knees,” he says lowly, “I do, too.”
“You do?” You smile.
“Mhm hmm,” Minho nods sharply, “look so pretty with your beautiful eyes looking up at us.”
“Min, please,” you say, so soon, “put it on me?”
“Go get dressed,” Minho orders, “Seungminnie is gonna get here in ten minutes and then we can do everything you asked for.”
You smile big, excitedly clapping your hands together. Minho chuckles at you, eyes sparkling before he plants a small kiss on your lips.
“Go on,” he says, enamoured, before sitting back on the bed—collar still clutched tightly in his hand.
You quickly go to the bathroom, where your outfit is waiting on the counter. You get dressed, your new matching pink lace set fitting your body perfectly. The thong is a little tight, but you don’t think it’s gonna stay on for too long—so you don’t mind it much.
You take a look in the mirror, silently thanking Seungmin for his taste in lingerie; it makes you feel so incredibly sexy. You can’t wait to feel their eyes on you as they see the way the pink fabric compliments your curves.
With excitement, butterflies dancing all around your insides, you take a deep breath before walking back into the bedroom.
Minho’s spread on the bed, hand tucked behind his head as he scrolls on his phone. You can tell he’s looking forward to tonight, his sweats doing a poor job at concealing his already present bulge.
When he hears the bathroom door close shut, he looks up. His mouth falls open, front teeth peeking out as he looks you up and down three times. Then, “holy shit.”
“You like it?”
Minho swallows, eyes growing wide as he nods repeatedly.
“God, bunny,” he says, slightly breathless, “look at you.”
“I think I like it better when you look at me,” you chuckle.
“I’m looking,” he says, licking his lips, “god. Fuck.”
He sits up, his phone long forgotten and with a small flick of his fingers calls you over. You waste no time at all, quickly climbing on the bed to sit by his side.
“So pretty like this,” he runs his hands over your hair, softly brushing it with his fingers. “Pretty bunny.”
His hand leaves your hair after a few moments, running down your bare back before he softly cups your ass.
“So soft,” he hums, tucking his finger under the fabric of your g-string. He runs his finger up and down, tugging it tighter around you.
With his other hand, Minho runs his fingers over your stomach, higher and higher until he cups your tits in his hand. He’s gentle, rubbing his thumb over the soft lace and when your breath hitches he starts circling your nipple through your pink bra.
“Wanna touch you all over,” he mumbles, “but I don’t think it’ll be right to take these off yet. Look how perfect your tits are in this.”
You blush at his words but Minho is too distracted by your chest to comment on it. He pushes the cup down, only enough for your nipple to peak out, and then he rubs his thumb over it in quick motions.
You moan softly, mouth gaped and body already reeling from the touch. Something about Minho not even undressing you before he starts playing with your body ignites a fire in your stomach.
He leans forward, looking up at you as his lips wrap around your nipple, sparkling eyes locking on yours as he flicks his tongue repeatedly around your sensitive bud.
“Min, that feels really nice,” you sigh, carding your fingers through his soft hair. He smiles up at you, tongue flicking through his open lips before he closes his eyes—eagerly sucking around your nipple.
With a soft pop he moves away, rubbing his hand against your waist before giving the same attention to your other breast, eager to keep hearing your soft moans.
His hands join together behind your back, rubbing up and down freely before he cups your ass. He hums, content, the vibrations against your skin sending butterflies into your core.
He pulls away again, satisfied for the time being, looking up at you.
“I had an idea,” he says, lowly, “there was something else in the box I didn’t show you.”
“What was it?”
Minho reaches underneath the pillow, pulling out a long and white fluffy tail. You feel your face burning up.
“Why didn’t Seungmin say anything?” You ask, excitement buzzing through you at the idea of wearing a tail with the collar.
“This one was my idea,” Minho admits, a shy smile on his face.
“You can put it on me,” you say with a grin.
Then, Minho turns it around, showing you the small butt plug attached to the end of the tail.
You let out a small gasp, your lips forming a perfect circle at the realisation Minho actually bought you a toy like this. Your cheeks are so warm.
“I didn’t expect this from you,” you admit, taking the tail into your hands and inspecting it closer. The plug itself isn’t too big, but since the three of you don’t experiment with anal that often you know you’d feel a stretch either way. You feel your walls clench for a moment at the thought of wearing it.
“I didn’t expect it either,” Minho admits, cupping your ass and rubbing circles on it with his palms. “When Seungminnie showed me the website it popped up and I added it. I don’t know, bunny, the thought of you on your knees with a little tail between your legs made me so hard.”
“I want you to put it in, Minho,” you say, and your voice sounds foreign in your ears, “please.”
Minho nods.
He slips one of his hands beneath the pink fabric of your thong, his other hand gripping your ass hard. He brings his middle finger to your hole, circling it softly.
You grip his shoulders, breathing laboured as you lock your eyes on his.
“I need to get the lube,” Minho says, pressing the pad of his finger flat against your hole. You know he can slip it right in if he wanted to—but you can’t deny he’s right. His fingers are too dry and the slide won’t be easy at all, so Minho prefers to simply tease the entrance with his finger. It makes you moan either way, the novelty of it all and the sensitive nerves sending pleasure through your body with something as simple as this.
“I’ll go get it?” You offer through a small sigh.
“Delivery is on its way,” Minho says, leaning forward towards your chest and kissing around it.
You’re not sure what he means but you ignore it when he slowly starts pushing the tip of his finger in and out of your hole—in and out, in and out. You don’t think he inserts more than a centimetre inside you, but it still feels so so snug. So weird. So fucking good.
You hear the front door open and close before Seungmin’s voice follows with a small, “I’m home!” and the butterflies in your stomach start soaring.
Minho chuckles lightly, feeling the way your body reacts to Seungmin’s voice. “Excited to see our puppy?”
You nod happily, a broken gasp leaving your lips when Minho slips his finger in deeper. “He’ll be so happy to see you like this.”
The door to the bedroom practically flies open, and Seungmin doesn’t even say hello. He leans over you, a bottle of lube in his hands, and without any prior warning—he spills it directly on your ass.
It’s cold so you hiss loudly, but Seungmin only shushes you in return.
More and more of it trickles down your body, all over Minho’s finger and down to your cunt. All you can do is moan as Minho easily slips his finger all the way in, knuckle deep.
“There you go,” Minho coos, “take it, baby.”
“Feels so nice, Min,” you let your head fall forward, focusing on the pleasure the stretch provides you.
“Let me look at her, hyung,” Seungmin says, his voice covered in an edge you can’t quite place.
You let your eyes flutter open, moans tumbling freely out of your mouth as you look at Seungmin. He was at an important meeting, you aren’t too sure for what, but he was still wearing his smart clothes. They were so different from his every day sweats, and although you loved him in anything he wore, there was something particularly beautiful about Seungmin wearing tight fitting dress pants and a fashionable cardigan.
You wanted him to rip his clothes off.
“I knew you’d like the tail hyung got us,” Seungmin smirks, his eyes drinking in your outfit before settling on your lips, “knew you wanted it in every hole.”
“Seung,” you let out, ears growing warm at his accusation.
“I’m wrong?” You don’t answer, “our dirty little pet doesn’t like how hyung is fucking her ass right now?”
You moan as Minho makes a point of adding a second finger at that exact moment.
“Stretching you so well,” Seungmin mumbles, looking behind your back at Minho’s actions, “your holes were made for this.”
You reach out for Seungmin’s hand, pulling him closer to you, and he laces your fingers together as he sits down beside you.
“You bought the cutest set, Seungminnie,” Minho says, as he watches Seungmin’s fingers run over the lace.
“You chose the cutest tail,” he returns.
“I-I’m ready,” you sigh, “I want it in me.”
“She’s said that so many times already,” Minho reports, “she really wants it.”
“You want your collar, too?” Seungmin asks, sweetly.
“Yes, please,” you try your hardest not to sound too desperate, but the way they both laugh at you makes you think you failed.
Seungmin plants a soft kiss on your cheek before he looks around for the collar, and when he finds it somewhere on the bed he shakes it around. The little bell rattles around with a small repetitive dingdingding. Seungmin smirks.
“Oh, this is gonna be so fucking hot,” he chuckles, eyes lighting up.
Minho slips his fingers out slowly, kissing your shoulder as he tells you he thinks you’re ready now. You nod. You have no idea if he stretched you wide enough, but you don’t care. You just want them to start already.
You watch as Minho grabs the tail from the fluffy side, dowsing the plug side with lube before he looks up at you. The cautious look is back in his eyes, and he hesitates, but once he sees your blown pupils and quick breaths he leans forward.
He circles the plug around your hole a few times, letting you get used to the coolness of the lube (unlike Seungmin) before slowly pushing it inside you. He pulls it out, then back in—in out, in out, before it slips all the way inside you with a loud moan.
“Oh, my god,” you sigh, “feels so tight.”
Seungmin runs a hand up and down your thighs. Minho starts playing with the fluffy ends of the tail. You can hear him giggling.
“It’s okay, bunny?” Minho asks when you fall silent.
You nod, clenching your fists tightly to stop yourself from touching your clit and derailing the whole evening. Your senses are on fire, the tightness of the plug causing your walls to flutter repeatedly. You try to focus on your boyfriends, who are looking at you curiously.
“I have so many things I wanna do to you, bubs,” Seungmin says, “you’re good to let me ruin you?”
“Please, Seungmin,” you groan, “ruin me as much as you want.”
He chuckles. “Let’s get you dressed, yeah?”
He opens up the collar, watching you slowly as he secures it in place. He locks it on the first loop, the loosest option, and kisses you softly.
Minho runs his hands through your hair, delicately pulling it up into a ponytail as he pushes it away from your face. You aren’t sure when he got the hair tie, but he’s delicate with it, even pulling out a few strands from the side like how you always do.
“Thank you,” you say, surprised.
“So it doesn’t get in the way,” he explains. Your heart skips a beat, understanding they must’ve discussed what they wanted to do tonight beforehand, leaving it as a surprise for you.
Seungmin leans over your shoulder, kissing Minho’s lips messily, before the older pushes him off.
“Youngest first,” Minho says, pointing at the box at the edge of the room where the rest of the toys came from.
Seungmin gets up from the bed, grabbing a matching pink leash out of the box.
He secures the leash onto the collar, giving the handle to Minho before he steps back.
He opens the button on his pants.
You watch as he lets them fall onto the floor, pooling around his feet, along with his boxers.
His cock stands against his stomach at full hardness already, and you swallow tightly.
“Kim Seungmin,” Minho grumbles impatiently, “shirt off. We wanna see all of you.”
Seungmin rolls his eyes but acquiesces, chucking his shirt to the side.
“He’s so pretty,” you voice out loud.
“I know,” Minho agrees, reaching his fingers towards Seungmin's stomach. He runs them up and down the soft skin, and you watch fascinated as small goosebumps rise on the skin of his thighs.
“Minho,” you let out breathless, “I wanna bite him.”
Minho laughs, almost evilly. “I think you should.”
“Yeah?” You blink at Minho.
He nods. “You know how much our boy likes that kinda thing. Do what you want, bunny. I’ll pull you back if I want to, right?”
Your eyes move towards Minho’s hand, thick veins accenting his knuckles as the bright pink leash sits securely in his hands. You clench your thighs together.
Minho grabs one of the pillows and drops it to the floor, right at Seungmin’s feet.
“Down, pet,” Seungmin commands. You have to hold back a moan.
You slowly move onto the floor, knees comfortably sitting on top of the pillow Minho provided. Each small movement nudges the plug inside you—you feel so dizzy with want, with excitement, you aren’t sure you’re even in your own body.
But knowing Minho is holding onto you, connected to him by pink leather, puts you at ease. Minho would never let anything happen to you, and Seungmin would kiss you better if it ever did.
You get into position, holding onto Seungmin’s soft thighs.
“Open,” Seungmin orders, running his thumb across your chin. You open your mouth, instinctively sticking your tongue all the way out as you get comfortable on your knees.
Seungmin laughs at you, shaking his head softly.
“You were waiting to do that, huh?” He says, lowly.
You nod your head, and the bell around your neck starts clicking.
“Such a pathetic girl,” Seungmin whispers, “letting hyung stick a fucking tail in your ass? And you liked it?”
“I liked it so much, Seung,” you whine, “it feels so nice.”
“You didn’t even thank hyung,” Seungmin points out.
You feel a small tug at your collar, so you turn around towards Minho. He’s lying back, hand tucked beneath his head again, his black t-shirt showing off his arms beautifully.
“Thank you, Minho,” you say.
“For what?” Seungmin pushes.
“Thank you for fucking my ass with the tail,” you choke out, heat running up and down your entire body.
Minho doesn’t say anything, but you see his knuckles tighten around the leash.
Your chin is tugged harshly as Seungmin turns your head back towards him, smiling wickedly at you.
“Good pet,” he says, “now I’m gonna fuck a different hole of yours. And you’re not going to stop until hyung pulls you off, yeah?”
“Yes,” you sigh, “please.”
You feel Minho’s hand rub up and down your shoulder, as he plants a small kiss on your temple.
He grabs your hand, holding one of your fingers up.
“One finger means green,” he explains, kissing your knuckle. Then he holds up your second finger, “two means yellow,” then he unravels your whole hand so all your fingers are pointing upwards. He kisses your open palm before saying, “five fingers means red. Can you do that for us, bunny?”
“I can’t speak?” You ask after Minho gives you a small kiss.
“You’re allowed to,” Minho says, “but he’s gonna fuck your throat so you probably won’t be able to.”
You clench around the air, shifting on top of your knees.
You nod, fingers tingling at the idea before you look up at Seungmin.
His cock is bright red already, the head glistening slightly. You want to taste him.
You squeeze his thighs, making a point of using your nails, and he lets out a soft groan.
“Our pet has sharp claws, huh?” Minho chuckles.
You lean forward, planting a few kisses around his hip bone before you scrap your teeth against the skin.
Seungmin lets out a high pitch sigh.
“She bites, too,” Minho hums.
“Want more,” Seungmin groans as you bite him again, sucking on the skin before you lick over the small indents from your teeth.
Minho sinks his fingers into your roots, scraping against the nape of your neck with his blunt nails. You barely notice it when he guides your head further down Seungmin’s body.
Minho pushes your face against Seungmin’s pelvis, your nose brushing against the thick stubble. You kiss anywhere your lips can reach—but you can’t ignore the heat coming from his cock any longer.
Slowly, you lick the tip once and then twice and then Seungmin hisses, “take it all, pet. Come on.”
You do as you’re told, letting your jaw drop slack as you slip as much of it inside your mouth as you can.
The height isn’t exactly perfect for your current task, so you try to make up for it, lifting up on your knees to make up for Seungmin’s long legs.
Minho notices, and when he does, he tugs on the leash just enough so that you start struggling against his grip. He’s trying to push you back down to the floor.
The lower you are, the harder it is to fit all of Seungmin’s length inside your mouth but the more you try to lift up—the harder Minho tugs on your leash.
Your thighs are starting to shake.
As a distraction you focus on fluttering your tongue against Seungmin, sucking harder around his warm cock as the salty taste takes over your thoughts.
You want him closer, you want more, and when you drag your body towards him your pussy rubs just right against the pillow you’re sitting on.
You moan around him, and Seungmin throws his head back from the vibrations. Minho tugs on your leash in warning.
“Don’t even think about it,” he says.
Obviously, you do it again.
“Up,” he orders, “on your knees, up.”
You lift yourself up, struggling to sit up on your knees, but thankfully it’s much easier to control what you’re doing that way.
When you start finding your pace, head bobbing up and down freely, Minho tugs on the leash so quickly you lose your breath for a moment or two.
Once the collar isn’t digging into your throat as much you try to breathe in, but Seungmin holds your head in place.
“Such a warm hole for me,” he mumbles, “you don’t need to breathe, right?”
You look up at him, blinking away tears as you breathe in quickly through your nose.
He tugs at your ponytail until his dick falls out of your mouth. You gasp in as much air as you can.
“What do you like more, slut, breathing or my cock?”
“Your cock,” you say, embarrassingly fast, “it’s better than anything else.”
“God, you’ve gone entirely dumb,” Seungmin mocks, eyes narrowed at you.
You nod, the bell rings along with your movements. “Keep going, Seungmin. You said you’d ruin me, please fucking ruin me.”
“Hyung,” he whines, “I’m gonna cum all over her fucking face like this.”
At that Minho grabs you from behind, small hands covering your head as he guides you back onto Seungmin’s cock. You quickly swallow him in, getting used to the weight of him in your mouth again.
You grab onto his thighs for support, making sure to dig your nails into the skin again. As you let go of any control you have, you allow Minho to push your head up and down, up and down, while Seungmin gets louder and louder.
You bring your hands onto his stomach, scratching five long lines on each side from his hips to his thighs.
Seungmin keens.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he starts chanting, “do it-do that, do that again.”
Minho runs his hand down Seungmin’s back, scratching harshly as Seungmin lets out his loudest moan yet.
“Make her choke on my cum, make her choke on it, fuck fuck fuck—“
Minho shoves your head down until your nose is flush against Seungmin’s pelvis. You look for air anywhere you can but there isn’t much. The tip is so deep inside your throat you’re sure it can be seen clearly through your neck, but neither of them can see anything when you’re pressed flush against Seungmin.
A moment or two of nothing but Seungmin’s moans and you gagging, and then the salty taste gets stronger and his cum fills your throat in a sudden gush and Minho pulls you off in a matter of seconds.
You don’t even open your eyes, too overwhelmed by the speed of it all, focusing all your efforts on making up for the lack in your lungs without actually choking on your boyfriend’s cum.
Once you recover enough you remember to swallow what’s left in your mouth, the rest spilled all over you and the pillow and your brand new pink lace.
You feel a hand on your chin, cleaning you up, and when you open your eyes Minho’s looking you up and down seriously.
“How are we doing?”
“Green,” you practically moan, “keep going, I’m not done.”
“Calm down,” Seungmin chuckles, sitting on the edge of the bed, “you sucked my soul out.”
You grin at that, pride filling your chest at the state he’s in.
His chest is covered in a sheer layer of sweat, bangs sticking to his forehead even though he styled them away from his face today—and his cheeks are bright pink. There’s scratches all down his thighs; you imagine his back doesn’t look any better. He can barely keep his eyes open, still breathing in and out with effort.
“You’re so fucking hot like this, Seung,” you groan, “please, I can go again.”
“I can’t,” he falls on his back, covering his face with his arm as his chest raises up and down rapidly. “Leave me alone.”
You look up at Minho, eyebrows lifting in a silent plea.
“Go on,” he says, one corner of his lips lifting up into a smile, “hump his thighs.”
Seungmin groans, as if protesting, but he spreads himself on the bed until he looks comfortable. Then, he lifts his arm away from his eyes.
He licks his lips and you notice his breathing has settled down slightly. He doesn’t move, barely reacts as you climb onto his thigh and drag your cunt over the soft skin.
You groan as the damp fabric rubs against your folds.
There’s a constant ding ding ding from the bell, the sound spurring you on to go faster and faster.
“You did so well,” Minho praises, “and you’re so eager to do more. You have to cum for us first as a reward for all your hard work.”
You nod, “yeah, thank you. Thank you, Minho.”
“Like when you train a puppy to do tricks,” Seungmin explains, “we’re gonna let you cum as your treat.”
You whine at his words, dragging your hips back and forth at an aching pace.
“Show off your tail, baby,” Minho mumbles, “looks so fucking hot when it bounces around like that.”
You can’t imagine there’s any kind of grace in your movements, far too concerned with chasing the pleasure to think of how it looks—but Minho’s eyes are frozen on your ass, completely enchanted by the fluffy white tail.
It’s only when he slaps your ass, the surprise causing you to fall forward on Seungmin’s chest, that you feel yourself on the edge of cumming. The drag of your cunt against Seungmin’s thigh and the newfound angle nudging the plug inside you just right causes your moans to get more intense, louder, more desperate.
Seungmin grabs your tits with both hands, “bubs, cum.”
He says it like a command, like all the other commands he gave you so far tonight, and your body has already learned to react to anything he says.
You instantly start shaking in his hold, tingles running all the way from your toes to the tips of your fingers as your orgasm crashes through you. You clench tightly, the plug making it all the more sweeter as you ride it out for as long as you can.
You collapse on top of Seungmin, a content hum echoing against your chest when he pulls you into a hug.
You watch as Minho lays down next to Seungmin, brushing any stray hairs that fell out of your ponytail from all your efforts. You aren’t sure when he stripped down but he’s completely naked now, and you let yourself indulge in the beautiful sight of his bare body. From his sculptured chest to his thick thighs to his gorgeous cock sitting angry and needy against his stomach.
Seungmin kisses the top of your head, then lazily kisses Minho’s cheek.
“How are you, baby?” He asks.
“So hard I could cry,” Minho chuckles.
Seungmin’s hand wraps around the base of Minho’s cock, squeezing tightly.
Minho groans loudly, the sound so different from how composed he’s been so far. You can see his desperation when he shuts his eyes tightly, mouth hanging open.
“Bunny,” he groans, “how are you?”
All you can do is lift up two fingers.
“Need more rest?” You nod.
“Don’t worry, hyung,” Seungmin says, giving Minho’s cock one full stroke, “I’ll take care of it while our baby rests.”
Seungmin holds you in one arm and uses the other to keep pumping Minho’s cock. Minho moans freely, letting himself enjoy the attention finally being on him.
You know he prefers giving when it’s the three of you, and especially when you decide to try one of your own kinks, but he still loves when the attention is on him—and who wouldn’t love one of Seungmin’s big hands all over them?
No more than thirty seconds pass before you decide you’ve rested enough.
“Let me sit on it,” you mumble out, “want his cock in me.”
“She still sounds so desperate,” Seungmin hums, “we can all barely move but she’s still hungry for cock.”
Minho smiles lazily, grabbing at the leash and pulling you towards him.
You aren’t very graceful when you climb over to his side but you have to do it quickly, the collar already pressing down on your windpipe.
Minho helps you settle on his thighs. You notice just how much bigger they are than Seungmin’s when the stretch in your thigh deepens from the prolonged positioned you’re in.
He pushes your ruined underwear to the side while guiding his cock towards your entrance. He nudges the tip against your clit, spreading all your wetness on his cock before he easily slips it inside you.
It feels tighter than usual, the plug sitting snug right by his cock, and you can cum from the thought alone.
“You two look so good together,” Seungmin mumbles, cupping his balls. With his other hand, he brushes Minho’s hair out of his eyes. “I’m so in love with you two.”
Minho thrusts up, hard, surprising a squeal out of you.
“Oh my god,” Minho groans, “tell him if he says that again I’ll cum.”
“Seungie,” you start, and Minho instantly picks up his pace, practically drilling into you from below, “S-Seungie, tell Minho how, fuck, how much you love him.”
“Shut up,” Minho warns, snapping the leash. You clench as your breath hitches, but that doesn’t stop you.
You wrap your hands around Seungmin’s cock, at full hardness again already, and start lazily stroking him.
He bites his plump lip, blinking slowly at the pair of you.
“Fuck, I love you two so much,” he groans. You pump him faster.
Your coordination is awful, and Minho’s thrusts keep jolting you around, and all three of you can barely move but neither one of you will stop.
It should be awkward. You think it’s nothing less than perfect.
“Hyungie is the best boyfriend I could’ve asked for, and you’re the best girlfriend. It’s like I have the entire world here with me when we’re together. I’m so lucky you two are mine,”
You feel Minho’s dick twitching inside you.
“Say it again,” you whine, “fuck, Seung, I love you.”
He sits up enough to kiss you firmly on the lips, and it’s one too many things to focus on so you don’t think you do a good job of it at all.
You try to put all your energy on Seungmin’s cock, knowing Minho is controlling his own pace well enough, but Seungmin already came tonight and your hand isn’t fast enough.
Still, “Seungmin, I love you so much,” Minho moans. “Fuck, I love you both with my entire heart.”
“Minho,” you whine, not used to him saying things like that so desperately.
“Hyungie,” Seungmin says as he pulls him in for a kiss, “you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
The three of you start breathing desperately, all broken moans and messy kisses.
“I need you two like I need air,” Seungmin says.
“I couldn’t breathe without either one of you,” Minho agrees.
“Fuck,” you gasp out as Seungmin pushes the tail deeper inside you, “I need you two, I need you two more than anything.”
“I’m gonna cum,” Minho warms.
“Min, I love you,” you kiss him, “cum for us, Min, wanna feel you so close inside me.”
“M-me too,” Seungmin groans, “gonna cum, too.”
You can’t be the only one left out, and so you quickly start rubbing your clit in figure-eights with your free hand. It’s a mess of movements and an unsynchronized chorus of moans—but soon the three of you are all hit with it at the same time.
Minho gets there first, and it’s a domino reaction when Seungmin notices his boyfriend cumming inside his girlfriend, and your body reacts to the pair of them slowly after.
Minho carefully guides you off his thighs, ignoring the mess between your legs and the way it’s slipping out of your cunt and all over the bed.
He unlocks the leash, opens the collar and throws it off to the side somewhere. He only needs one hand to do so, and you can’t suppress the moan that leaves you from the sight of it. Luckily, they don’t think much of it as the three of you are all still sensitive.
Minho slowly, and with a few reassuring words, slips the plug out as well.
The pair of them rub over your neck and your sore thighs and your exhausted wrist. Minho takes a bit of water and washes over your neck to make sure your skin doesn’t get too irritated and then he makes sure to give you what little is left in the water bottle to drink. Everything still tastes of Seungmin, though.
After a few minutes Minho settles down against your chest, reaching a hand to hold onto Seungmin’s hips.
You’re sandwiched so closely together you might actually stop breathing soon—somehow it’s still not close enough.
“Kim Seungmin,” Minho mumbles, eyes closed, “since when do you get sappy during sex?”
“Wasn’t my fault,” he mumbles sleepily back, “I was overwhelmed. I truly meant it all.”
“Of course you did,” Minho says, as if stating a fact. “There’s a lot of things I’m unsure of, but what the three of us have together isn’t one of them.”
“If you guys don’t shut up I’ll start crying,” you threaten.
Minho kisses your cheek. Seungmin kisses your shoulder.
“You mean the world to me, bubs,” Seungmin mumbles.
“I will cry,” you groan.
“Fine, I hate you. Happy?” Seungmin chuckles.
You giggle at him, “I hate you, too.”
“Why are you two so annoying?” Minho smiles, big and content. You kiss his cheek softly.
It’s sweaty in your three way hug, and you’re still sticky all over, and your throat is on fire from thirst. But still, you don’t move yet, entirely content with being wrapped all around the two of them, unsure of where you end and they begin. It’s fitting like that, you think to yourself, being so close together your breath easily turns into theirs.
1K notes · View notes
vsimp · 10 months
Text
bitter
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pairing: kamisato ayato x f!reader
wc: 3k
genre: angst
summary: where you are in an arranged marriage with him and you rarely ever see him
warning: somewhat traditional housewife roles, negative thoughts
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What a cruel fate it was, to fall in love with a man who neither loves or hates you.
To spend long, cold nights alone. A large, indifferent room divided by two separate futons.
You knew that your husband was a busy man. He worked all night, barely resting during the day, and every time you’ve caught glimpse of his office, there was always a huge mess laying around on his desk. But having been married to him for such a long time, you felt that the distance between you two grew longer and longer every day.
In the morning, you would greet him with the biggest smile you could muster. He would greet you back with the same gentle smile everyday. At this point, you knew what his real smile looked like. You don’t recall when the last time he’s ever given you one.
If Miss Ayaka and Thoma were busy, and you dined alone with your husband, the table would be silent. You didn’t know what to say, and he’d also be reading over papers while eating, so you were afraid to disturb him. If the two were present, or if there were any other guests, Ayato would be more active in the conversation, joking lightheartedly and appearing like he was actually enjoying himself.
This man did not treat you unkindly despite having these feelings that lurked in your chest. In fact, it was the opposite. He was a true gentleman every time you interacted with him. He would open the door for you while you two walked together. He would pull out the chair when you wanted to sit. He would hold your hand and escort you to any event, or if you were getting on/off a carriage.
But it was all superficial. It felt like he was forcing himself to do these actions for you. You couldn’t even tell what his intentions are for doing so. You couldn’t tell if he just disliked you, disliked this arranged marriage, or if he just wanted people to see what a loving husband he was, that everything was okay right now even though it really wasn’t.
From touchless nights to meaningless small talk, your heart ached at the thought of everything. You don’t ever recall the last time he’s kissed you on the lips in private. You don’t recall the last time he’s ever opened up to you about the depths of his heart, from the things that scared him the most, to the things that has made him truly happy.
And while you know that a relationship thrives off of communication, you couldn’t help but feel scared. You were scared that the man in front of you would grow even colder, shutting off the depths of his heart forever, pushing you away if you were to ever confront him. Maybe he’d even take it to an extreme and call off the marriage with you, telling you that he never loved you, as this was really only an arrangement between your two families. Maybe he was in love with someone else prior to this marriage, and he has only reserved his heart for them all of these years.
You have seen his darker sides. He doesn’t think that anyone has noticed, but you have. You were always watching him, after all.
A more mischievous side of him existed deep down in there, a certain sly foxiness that could even rival Guuji Yae herself. Sometimes, it would scare you to see that forced smile on his face as if what lingered in his mind were true thoughts darker than what he had initially led on.
But despite his flaws, despite the mask he constantly wore around, you loved him. You loved him so much it hurt. You loved how he cared for people despite them being complete strangers to him. You loved his gentle smile as he holds your hand so tenderly when you accidentally trip. How could a man be so kind, yet so cruel to your heart?
And even as you laid in bed most nights alone, shedding tears as if you were the dark side of the crystal moon longing for the light of the sun, you still loved him regardless.
You were in your futon all alone as of this moment, staring at the ceiling. The room was pitch black and silent, other than the occasional sounds of the residual droplets from the passing rain. Ayato would never let you rest in a room that was cold, so the temperature was heated comfortably, yet you couldn’t help but bundle yourself up under the covers even more.
It was cold without him. You didn’t even realize when the last time he had actually went to bed in this room you both allegedly shared.
But it didn’t matter anyways because his futon laid far away from yours.
Your own husband wouldn’t even come near you when you’re together in the same room. You didn’t know if he just wanted to be respectful as a formality between husband and wife, or if he is repulsed by being in the same vicinity as you, but it hurt regardless.
You sighed as you covered your face with the blanket, trying to get rid of these harboring thoughts. It was no use, no matter what you did, you couldn’t stop thinking about your relationship with him every single night. He is what plagues your mind at night, like a thorn lodged deep in a fingertip. It was only soon that you will be bleeding out your love for him.
How could you make a scene about all of this anyways? You've seen how hard he works. You knew that everything he did, it was for the sake of protecting his family and home. Who were you to complain about how busy he was? That was another reason why you continued to keep silent. You thought that your worries meant nothing compared to his own.
Your mind was racing a mile per minute, and you knew you weren't able to get any sleep like this. You got up and out of your futon as you decided to go for a stroll around the estate. The guards protected the outside and prevented from anybody from coming in. As long as you walked around inside, there should be no problem with you strolling the corridors, so long as you remained quiet.
Lighting up a candle, you started meandering through the halls, your footsteps nearly silent with no goal or destination in mind. You didn't even realize your feet had automatically taken you to the doors of his office, the same door that you have stared at many times, knowing that your husband was in there, but you had no reason or courage to open. You see the dimly lit light through the translucent paper sheets, and you knew that tonight was going to be another long night with no rest for him.
You sighed, not remembering the last time you had been in his office, and you were about to step away, but the door suddenly slides open rather violently. You flinch in shock because you didn’t expect for anything to happen, as he usually never notices your presence.
"Who is there?" He said in a serious tone, and you were finally greeted by the man who plagued your every thought and dreams. His hand laid on the hilt of his sword, almost as if he was ready to strike down any intruder who was lurking in the shadows. But instead of drawing his sword, he blinked a few times, realizing it was just you who stood there. He instantly let go of the sword and his expression relaxed a bit, although his eyebrows were furrowed slightly to show confusion. "Y/n? What are you doing here? It is almost 2am right now."
His presence stunned you for a second before you snapped out of the current awe-struck daze you were in. It had been quite a while since you've seen his face. He was rarely home anymore, but when he was, he would be holed up in his office. You only ever see him to greet him when he returned back home, and sometimes when he leaves, as he had a habit of sneaking out secretly every so often.
"Oh." You were flustered at this unexpected situation. "I had trouble sleeping, so I decided to go for a walk..."
"Is something troubling you?" He asked in concern. "If it is work-related with the household, then I know Ayaka would be happy to give you a hand.”
"It's not that..." You shook your head. You didn't want him to worry about you, so you tell him a small lie. "It's just one of those nights..."
"I see."
"Have you been faring well?" You then asked him.
He gave you a small, gentle smile, but you have seen this many times. It was one of the masks he wore when he wasn’t telling the truth.
"I've been doing alright," he replied. Anybody would've believed him, as he would never appear disheveled in front of anybody, but from the way his eyes had a slight dark tint underneath them and the mess that apparently was his desk with papers and pens strewn everywhere, you knew that he was far from so. "I was actually looking to take a break soon from my paperwork. Since you probably will be up for a little bit, would you care to join me?"
An invitation from him was rare, and you immediately jumped ship. You nodded. "Let me go prepare some tea."
"Oh, there's no need to do that."
"Nonsense," you gave him a reassuring smile, knowing what he was going to say. He was so considerate as always, not wanting to trouble you. "It will only be a few.”
You start to walk down the hall to head to the kitchen, but you were surprised to hear footsteps behind you. Before you knew it, Ayato was walking beside you, and you could hear your heart thumping in your chest.
"Ayato?" You questioned.
It was dim, as the candle was the only thing that lit the dark halls, so you can barely make out his expression.
"I'll tag along with you then." He said softly, as to not wake anybody else up. "It will be a good change of pace from being stuck in my office all night."
To you, he was so hard to read at times. If he was accompanying you, he surely must have his reasons, as he had never used any of his personal time on you before. He only accompanied you outside when he had a special meeting at an event that required for both spouses to arrive. Those were the only times when he was somewhat affectionate. That was why you were nervous when he decided to come along with you, thinking he had an ulterior motive like he usual does. But a small, small part of you hoped that it was something else; that he wanted to join you because he missed you and just wanted to idly chat.
You stepped into the kitchen and then lit a brighter lantern to illuminate the room using your own candle. But before you could do anything else, you watched as Ayato's hand pushed a portion of your hair aside. You couldn't help but feel your cheeks heat up at the action, your eyes making its way towards him now that you were able to see his face.
He wore a gentle smile on his face as he looked down at you tenderly. A rare expression indeed, you’ve only noted him to give this look to Ayaka. It made your heart hurt a little as it thumped away in your chest, feeling like you could soar to the moon and never come back.
"Your hair was getting close to the flames, so I didn't want it to burn,” he explained.
"Oh..." You didn't know what else you could say. "Thank you..."
With that, you started boiling the kettle of water, your body moving to find tea leaves. Ayato watches on without speaking a word, and you two drift into a somewhat lulling silence.
As you prepared your leaves, Ayato interrupted the silence no sooner than later.
“There’s another event that the Kanjou Commission is hosting,” he said. There it was. He needed you to attend another political event with him. You were once so naive to think that he would actually spend time with you just because he wanted to. You knew he hated small talk and would rather get straight to the point. “I was hoping you wouldn’t mind attending it with me.”
Of course you didn’t mind, if it meant that you would be spending more time with him. But even if you did expect for this, you were still disappointed.
“Sure. When will it be?”
“In two months. They’re hosting a party event to discuss upcoming financial plans for the winter.”
You nodded, your hands a little rougher than usual as you crushed up the dried tea leaves in the mortar. Usually you would hide your emotions well, but it definitely showed in the way you pounded at the leaves.
If Ayato had noticed your switch in moods, he didn’t say anything. Instead, he went over to the cabinet to grab two cups for the tea.
“I appreciate it. Let me know if there’s anything else I can do for you.”
Another blatant lie fueled only by courtesy. He always says this whenever you did a favor for him. If you were to truly ask for a favor, he would have Thoma somehow fulfill it, or he would say that he was too busy to do it himself, and that he would make it up later. He would send a gift, picked out by either Thoma or Ayaka of course, to later apologize for not fulfilling your promise.
And although it has only happened four or five times before you’d stop asking him for favors, knowing that he was too busy to fulfill them, it still left a bitter feeling within you.
You felt that it was selfish for you to feel this way. You knew that he had lost his parents at a young age, having to resume the role as the leader of the Yashiro Commission and head of the Kamisato Clan very early in life. You thought it wasn’t right for you to feel bitter about small things like this. Yet, as you glanced at the man in front of you, who barely looked at you and instead stared at the bright full moon outside, your heart ached at this solemn expression— one that loomed with fatigue and tiredness.
Maybe what you truly longed for was his happiness. Maybe you wanted to share that happiness with him, although you knew it would be a long shot. So long as he was the head of the Yashiro Commission, the leader of the Shuumatsuban, there will always be a distance between you two, as he prioritized things differently from any other typical person. Even though he was in the same room as you right now, as the moon peaked through the small window, the cicadas singing in the distance, he still looked as alone as ever. Like there was an unmeasurable length between you two, and you were too afraid to cross it, in fear that you would never be able to reach him.
The kettle soon starts to heat up, and you take it off the flame to start steeping the tea leaves. A few minutes of silence passed, and you wondered then if he was going to leave immediately after he finished his tea. It was still hot, so you had a couple more minutes left with him, right?
You poured the tea carefully in the cup and then proceeded to hand it over to him.
“It’s hot, so be careful.”
“Thank you,” he smiled at you and graciously accepted the tea. He picked it up to his lips, blowing it a few times as he inhaled the scent. “This smells like a different type of tea than the one you served at the event the other day.”
You remembered that event. You were attending a birthday party for an old couple who were close friends with the Kamisato’s. You brewed that tea with extra care, knowing that Ayato was going to drink it on that very occasion.
“It was truly delicious,” he complimented and you felt your heart soar at his words once more. “I know I never told you this, but it was one of my favorite hot teas.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” I smiled, making note to remember that information. “This one that I brewed helps with stress and calms the mind.”
He took a sip once the tea is cooled down a bit more. “I can see how this one can have that effect. It’s a very mild, but calming flavor. It’s a good choice for you to brew this, since it will probably help you sleep.”
Actually, you had brewed it for him, so that he wouldn’t stress so much, but you held your tongue back. Instead, you took a sip of the hot tea, trying to match his pace so that you both could finish at the same time.
“I hope you like it,” you said.
“I do enjoy it quite a bit,” he replied with a small smile on his face. “I will take it to my office and savor it. I appreciate you willing to spend time with me.”
“It’s my pleasure.”
“I hope you get some sleep soon, and try not to stay awake for too long,” your husband stated. “Please pardon me, I must return to my work.”
You forced out a smile in return, knowing that he had cut his time off with you short on purpose.
“Have a good night, Ayato.”
He gave a small nod as he walked out with the tea in his hand. You waited for the door to fully shut before you leaned on the counter with your back pressed to it.
He didn't even wait to finish the tea before he left. He just went straight to the point, pushing you aside as if your feelings had never mattered to him in the first place.
Your hands gripped the ceramic tea cup tightly. It felt like if you had held it tight enough, it would shatter and break, scalding your skin like the way your husband did just now.
Your tears dripped into the tea, the salty solution messing with the delicate taste of the drink as you sipped it, not wanting anything to go to waste. What was once a calming, smooth taste was now bitter.
So, so bitter.
It was another cruel, lonely night that awaited you.
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babyleostuff · 4 months
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how svt cuddle their s/o when asleep | ot13
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❥ seungcheol 
clingy teddy bear 
you can say goodbye to your personal space because with cheol you won’t have any. his limbs are wrapped all around you, so good luck if you need to get up to the bathroom at any point during the night. he moves a lot in his sleep but somehow he always ends up with 90% of his body draped over yours. not to mention he holds you with so much strength, and for what, it’s like he’s scared you’re going to magically disappear from bed. 
❥ jeonghan 
the softest cuddles all night long
it doesn't matter how you cuddle - whether he’s the big spoon, small spoon, you have your head on his chest, or if you only have a leg draped over him - the cuddles are the softest and the most gentle. he holds you with so much tenderness and care you start to wonder if he’s really asleep. hannie might be a menace during the day, but the second he’s in the comfort of your shared bedroom he becomes the biggest cuddle bug that holds you with so much gentleness.
❥ joshua
always touching you
even if you’re not cuddled up to each other, joshua needs to have at least his hand on your body, to know that you’re there - on your hip, arm, back, tummy - it doesn’t matter, as long as he's touching you he can sleep peacefully. if you ever move away from him in your sleep, he’s quick to put an arm around your waist to pull you back closer to him, and place his hand on your lower abdomen again. sometimes he doesn’t even realise he’s doing that - joshua got so used to touching you in his sleep that now he usually reaches for you without giving it a second thought. 
❥ jun 
little koala 
jun is always wrapped around you in some way, he loves being close to you - especially in the safety of your bedroom, where you are alone, cuddled under the covers, enjoying the fact that you can soak up each other's presence - even in your sleep. if jun moves away from you at night, then he just rolls over back to you, his sleepy brain too tired to use any strength to lift himself up. he then most often buries his head in your neck, and throws one of his arms across your belly or waist - because he needs that physical touch, especially after days spent apart from each other.
❥ hoshi 
latches himself onto you and doesn't let go
soonyoung just sticks to you and never lets go, not even for a second - you can try and pry him off, and he’ll just grab you and throw his body over yours. anytime he moves (and he moves a lot) you pray that he takes some of his body weight off of you because sometimes you feel like you can't breathe. you know he doesn't mean anything bad with his cuddles, hoshi would never hurt you, and besides - you spend so little time together because of his work, so a little bit of suffocating love won't hurt anyone. 
❥ wonwoo 
cuddles that feel like home 
he is the biggest undercover cuddle bug - he acts like he’s not a fan of hugs and physical touch in general, but the second you put the blankets over the both of you wonwoo turns into a whole another person. most nights he’s the one holding you - your weight calms him down and helps him fall asleep, and he’d never tell you this, but they make him feel safe - you’re his little comfort blanket. he holds you with such tenderness, warmth, affection and love that sometimes it’s overwhelming how loved he makes you feel just with his cuddles. his arms, his chest, his lips against your cheek, his steady breathing, the calm beating of his heart - it all feels like home.
❥ woozi 
face to face 
jihoon likes his space, so he’s not big on cuddling - but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to stay close to you. he likes the reassurance that even though you’re not touching you’re still so close and you can quietly enjoy each other's presence, without feeling the need to be all over each other - that's why you usually end up falling asleep face to face. and it's not that jihoon absolutely hates your touch - when he sometimes wakes up in the night and sees your leg thrown over his, or his hand resting on yours - it makes his sleep even better afterwards. it’s these silent and unnoticable touches that matter most to him.
❥ dk 
clingiest puppy 
seokmin happily skips over to your bedroom every night, because that means cuddles all night long! how you cuddle - that’s not important to him - he just needs to be next to you. to be honest, seokmin can’t remember a night when you weren't cuddling, it’s a must or else he’s not able to fall asleep - you’re his favourite teddy bear/ blanket/ pillow. he usually moves around a bit in his sleep, so you cuddle in many ways and you always wake up in a different position than when you fell asleep (even if by some miracle he ends up at the end of the bed, his arm will be bent at some strange angle just so he's touching you).
❥ mingyu 
head nuzzled into your neck
despite what everyone thinks, gyu doesn't always want to be the big spoon - your big and hard-working man most often wants to be held by you. he loves the feeling of your arms around his body - it makes him feel so safe and loved. he can just be himself, he can be mingyu - your mingyu. since you are his priority though, he always asks if you are comfortable and if you really want him to lie on you since he knows his bodyweight can be a bit suffocating. despite the fact that in theory you’re holding him, mingyu still finds a way to wrap his arms around you.
❥ minghao 
your head over his heart 
hao would never tell you this, but having your head resting over his heart is more calming and grounding than any meditation - there is just something about having the love of your life resting their head over his heart that makes him feel so peaceful - you’re like two puzzle pieces that fit perfectly together. he can also hold and touch you when you sleep cuddled up like that, but you’re still perfectly comfortable and each of you have your space, so it’s not overbearing for either of you. to sum up - hao’s cuddles = tender love expressed by gentle touches.
❥ seungkwan 
little spoon
does not care that “a man should always be the big spoon” (which is bullshit) - seungkwan lives and breathes to be held by you, he absolutely adores having your arms around him with his back pressed against your chest. he makes sure both of you are properly covered and tucked in before saying your goodnights, and you stay like that for the whole night (you kind of look like two shrimps laying next to each other). seungkwan usually grabs your hand that is resting on his tummy and intertwines your fingers because he’s a sucker for physical touch and he just likes holding your hand :))))
❥ vernon 
intertwined fingers 
not the biggest cuddler, but vernon still likes to touch you in a way that lets you sleep comfortably without suffocating in each other’s arms. he didn’t even realise how he always reached for your hand when you said your goodnights until you pointed it out recently - it’s just something so natural to him - you lay down, talk a bit before going to sleep, he gives you a sweet peck to your cheek, and then he grabs your hand. somehow, vernon has no idea how, even when he wakes up in the middle of the night - your fingers are still intertwined, and it always makes him so mushy and fluffy on the inside. 
❥ chan 
your big strong protector
channie just wants you to feel safe and protected when you sleep so you don’t have to worry about anything, and that if something ever happens you have him to take care of you. he holds you gently and with so much tenderness, yet the weight of his arm that is draped over your waist screams “sleep my love, i’ll protect you.” it doesn’t matter how you cuddle, chan always finds a way to wrap himself around you. and as much as you believe in the fact that he cuddles you so you feel safe, you also know that he’s just a big cuddle bug and wants to be close to you  (especially because in the mornings he usually wakes up in your arms).
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