#they genuinely seem like such a neat group all 4 together that they can have any dynamic

[centaurianthropology]

Thoughts on Critical Role C3E3

Spoilers below the cut

Well, shit.  That really was a fantastic episode.  Lots happened, the group came together in various ways, and we got a proper gut-punch of an ending.  

- We’re learning a bit more about Imogen.  It seems like she either has memories or at least dreams of a great red tempest that’s tied to her past and likely tied to the way she got her powers.  I also think that it’s likely something happened to her family.  We’ll probably learn more as we go, but yeah, the more I see her the more I think Laura drew some definite inspiration from Caleb from last campaign.  I was also really impressed with her during the fight.  Seeing Laura cut loose was great, and once again reinforces that as she grows in power she’s going to be an absolute beast on the battlefield.

- Less Laudna this episode, which makes sense since last episode was her big lore-drop.  I think we did finally figure out what sorcerous origin she is.  We knew she was an Undead Warlock, but she also seems to have a Shadow origin, which fits her thematically.  If she’s going classic sorclock, she’ll have taken those initial levels in warlock and may now lean heavily into sorcerer, especially if she wants to go a mostly-magic build, so I’m guessing we’ll see what she can do and which of her classes she chooses to level when they bump to 4.

- FCG also didn’t get as much to do, although they got some clutch heals and damage shares in.  We also figured out what their ‘temp hit points’ when they share suffering can do.  They can actually turn them into damage against their enemies, which is a really neat trick to take damage meant for a PC and deflect it.  They’re also clearly very worried about Ashton, and I think with good reason, which brings us to ...

- Of all the new group, Ashton is the most withdrawn, the most held back.  He definitely contributes to battle plans and strategy, but he avoids talking about anything personal with anyone but the people from the crook house.  We found out a little more about him, though.  We now know that he’s got massive debts, huge damage to his reputation, and that ‘she’ comes around and is either a danger or at least a trouble to him, and seems to be tied with the last crew he ran with, which went very south, hard enough that the thought of a new group seems to intrigue them and scare the shit out of them in equal measure.  It seems like he might have been betrayed by a patron, because his reaction to Lord Eshteross is to avoid talking to him at all costs, and he looked genuinely worried when that cake came out.  Something really bad went down with his last patron, some huge betrayal.  I don’t know if ‘she’ is a former colleague or connected to that patron, but I’m guessing we’ll find out at the worst possible time.  They once again demonstrated the coin-flip approach to their life, when deciding whether or not to stay with the group, he let FCG be the one to do it.  But it’s clear they’re doing their best not to get attached, to hold all the others and everyone else at arms’ length.  Their reaction to Danica’s death was cold, mercenary, and shows a sort of bleak outlook that I think reflects as much about them as it does about her.  I think Ashton thinks he’s done something terrible, that he tangled with the wrong life, and now he’s on borrowed time too.  These people could probably save him, but it’ll be a long while until he opens up enough to let them try.  I’ll be interested to see how the events at the end of the episode effect them.  They still aren’t that close with this group, but still.  It’s the first chance on people they’ve taken in a long time.

- We still don’t know much about Fearne, although she remains a guaranteed source of hilarity and chaos.  I’m interested to see how a creature of the Feywild fits into this group long-term, and how living in this plane of existence will effect her.  She right now very much retains her own sense of otherness, but that may fade over time.  I also loved the Bert and Fernie joke, as thier duo was one of my favorites.

-   Orym was mostly support this time, though I really hope he finds a way to up his CON and AC.  He’s way too squishy right now, and the dex does not seem to save him as much as we’d hope.  It was interesting to find out that the person he was looking for is a ‘good thing’, not something dangerous.  We also found out that there is a shadowy someone or something he’s seen before, masked in dark clothing, and the look on his face says that that is a sad and painful story, very possibly tied to why he wants a fresh start in Marquet.

- Dorian was great, and I’m liking Robbie as a part of the group more and more.  My theory about him is that he’s a special guest, but they’re using this as a testing ground to see if he wants to stay, if Matt feels like he can run a table of eight comfortably, and if it fits with the story.  I like Dorian a lot, and I think he adds something to the group.  Him and Imogen made a good team as faces for the group, and I liked the balance between retaliation against Bertrand for being an ass in the darkness, but also forgiving him and playing him music.  Their final scene, and Bertrand’s little confessions about his former group and about not really knowing anything about the city were beautifully bittersweet.  

- And then we get to Bertrand.  I was always half expecting it, given his higher level and the fact that Travis seemed to be deliberately holding back in combat, but it’s a tribute to Travis that over the course of three episodes he really made me love this ridiculous old man, to the point that his death at the end of the episode was a genuine gut-punch.  And I think it was partly because, in the end, after being a coward, and betraying his party, and being a cad time and again, Betrand made a stand.  He refused to collaborate with the dwarf, refused to even entertain the notion.  He stood proud, happy with the fact that he was finally back on top, part of a good group of people.  He was out to see one more sunrise.  As soon as he said that, I suspected things might go wrong.  But Travis sold the shit out of it, and I’ll admit that it ached to hear Matt describe him walking into the tempest in Imogen’s vision as he lay, bleeding out in the alleyway.  I’m sure I’ll like Travis’ new character plenty, but damn, I’m going to miss this adventuring grandpa in amazing clothes.

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #859: Meeting the WarioWare Gang (SSBU X WarioWare)

4:23 p.m. at WarioWare Inc.....

Ashley: (Fixes Up Lucas' Bow Tie) How are you feeling, Lucas?

Lucas: Nervous.....Shaky.... Maybe even a little terrified.....(Turns to Wario) I-Is there a word for all of this?

Wario: (Shrugs) I don't know. Fidgeted?

Lucas: Yeah. That's the one. Fidgeted. I am feeling definitely fidgeted right now.....(Turns to Ashley) Hey, how do I look by the way?

Ashley: (Smiles Softly) You look very handsome today. You really didn't have to wear the bow tie though.

Wario: Yeah. We're only having a picnic at the park.

Lucas: ('Sigh') I know. But Big Sis Ann insisted that I need to look my best for the occasion. This.... isn't too much, is it?

Ashley: It isn't. (Gently Grab Both of Lucas' Hands) And you have nothing to worry about here, Lucas. Everything is going to be just fine.

Wario: Ashley's right, squirt. I known these people for as long as I can remember. They're the most annoying and gullible- (Gets Startled Once He Notice Ashley's Dark Glare Is Pointing Directly at Him) I-I mean, they're the nicest people I know! A-And you don't need to worry about making a bad impression on them or anything. Just stay calm, be yourself, and everything will go good from there.

Ashley: (Genuinely Surprised) Wow, Wario. That's.... actually good advice.

Lucas: Yeah. (Smiles a Little) Thanks, Wario.

Wario: Eh. (Wave his Hand While Rolling his Eyes) It's whatever. I only did it to stop you from being a wuss. (Starts Picking his Nose)

Lucas: (Gets A Bit Grossed Out By Wario)

Ashley: (Gives Wario a Deadpinned Look on her Face) Stop picking your nose, Wario.

Wario: I do whatever I please. (Starts Wiping his Hand on the Side of his Pants)

Ashley: ('Ugh') (Starts Rolling her Eyes) Horridness aside, you think you're ready to do this, Lucas?

Lucas: (Sighs While Nodding) As I'll ever be. (Turns Towards the Office Door)......Y-You don't mind if I count to three before going in, do you?

Ashley: (Giggles Softly) Not at all, Lucas.

Lucas: Thanks! (Takes a Deep Breath) Okay. One......Two....T-

Wario: (Walk Past Lucas to Open the Door) One, two, three. We're going in. (Shoves Lucas Inside the Office) Move it already.

Lucas: Okay! Okay!

Wario: Wahahahaha!- (Gets Stomped on the Toe By Ashley Before Wincing in Pain) YEOOUUCH!!! (Starts Hopping on One Toe) You.... little....yauughh!

Lucas' eyes begins in widened in genuine surprise at the sight of everyone present in the office. Each of which are as colorful, energetic, and lively as Ashley described them to be.

Lucas: Are they really the employees of this company?

Wario: Yep. Each and everyone of them.

Ashley: Pretty lively, aren't they?

Lucas: Yeah..... They're so cool.....

Wario: (Already Getting Impatient) Hurry up and say something already!

Lucas: (Immediately Comes Back to Reality) R-Right!....U-Um!

Everyone in the office came into a complete halt at what they were respectively doing while turning their heads at the timid boy with a bowtie.

Lucas: I...u-um...(Smiles Nervously While Waving Hello to the Employees) H-Hi. I'm not sure if Ashley and Wario told you about me beforehand, but....my name is-

Everyone: LUCAS!!~

Without any hesitation, the employees excitedly rushes over to Lucas and pulls into a group hug/gathering.

Ashley: (Sighs While Having a Deadpinned Look on her Face) So much for toning the excitement.....

Wario: Yep.

Mona: (Giggles Awkwardly While Making her Way to the Duo Along with Penny) Sorry about that, guys.... They've been excited to see Lucas since we first heard about him.

Penny: (Smiles Sheepishly While Watching the Scene Play Out) It's kind of changeling for most of us to maintain our excitement for this long, ya know?

Ashley: It's fine. (Starts Smiling a Little at the Crowd) I'm glad they're taking a liking to him at least.

Mona: Us too.

5-Volt: (Makes her Way to the Trio While Holding a Megaphone in her Hands) Do you mind covering your ears for a second, dears? I got this covered. (Clears Her Throat Before Screaming her Heart Out on the Megaphone) QUIIIIIIEEEETTTTT!!!!!

Everyone stopped what they were doing and have their attention directly towards 5-Volt while letting Lucas go.

5-Volt: ('Sigh') Look, I'm happy to see our guest here as much as you guys are right now, but could you please start settling yourselves down before you give this poor boy a panic attack?

Everyone: Yes, ma'am......Sorry, Lucas.....

5-Volt: (Gives Lucas a Hand With a Soft Smile on her Face) We're sorry about all of that, sweetheart. Are you okay?

Lucas: (Smiles a Bit Sheepishly While Getting Back up on his Face) I'm okay, ma'am. A-And there's really no need apologize for all of that. You all just took me by surprise is all.

5-Volt: Well, as long as you're okay, allow me to properly introduce myself: My name is Mrs. 5-Volt.

Mona: (Smiles Brightly at Lucas) And I'm Mona!

Penny: (Happily Salutes to Lucas) Penny Crygor, at your service! Ashley here told us quite a lot about you as of late~

Ashley: (Eyes Widened While Blushing)

Lucas: She has?

Mona: (Happily Nodded) Mmhmm~ She told us about how much of a sweetheart you are, how much she admires you since day one....

Penny: Ooh! She even told us she has dreams of marrying you som-

Ashley: (Already Flustered in Bright Red) OKAY! How about we introduce everyone else in this room, yeah? (Gives Mona and Penny a Dark Glare) Before my patience starts to dwindle....

Mona: (Shivers in Fear by the Glare Before Giggling Awkwardly) Y-Yeah....That uh....seems to be a good idea right now, right Penny?

Penny: Yep! L-Let's Introduce everyone! (Turns to Lucas with a Bright Smile) Lucas, we want you to meet our whole gang!~ Jimmy T!

Jimmy T: Yo.

Penny: Young Cricket and Master Mantis!

Young Cricket: (Bows Towards Lucas in a Polite and Martial Arts Like Fashion Along with his Master) Please to meet you.

Penny: 9 and 18-Volt!

9-Volt: Hiya!

18-Volt: How's it going, little dude?

Penny: Dribble and Spitz!

Dribble: 'Sup, kiddo!

Spitz: Nice meet ya on this fine day, squirt!

Penny: Kat & Ana!

Kat/Ana: Kon'nichiwa!~

Penny: Our alien friend, Orbulon!

Orbulon: Greetings, young, timid youngling.

Penny: A little girl from Luxeville name Lulu!

Lulu: I'm the hero of my hometown!~

Penny: My grandpa, Dr. Crygor and his assistants, Mike and Doris 1!

Dr. Crygor: It is such a pleasure to finally meet Ashley's future hus- (Gets Startled Once He Noticed Ashley's Dark Glare) I-I-I MEAN boyfriend! Yes.... That's what I meant to say.

Mike: Greetings, Ashley's Boyfriend.

Doris 1: Hello.

Penny: And this is our new addition to the team: Pyoro!

Pyoro: (Happily Squeaks at Lucas)

Lucas: Aww~ Hi, little guy. (Pulls Out his Hand) Nice to meet- (Suddenly Felt Pyoro's Tongue Touching the Palm of his Hand For a Few Seconds Before Putting Back in his Mouth) You.....

Pyoro: (Claps his Arms Happily)

Penny: He can shoot his long tongue to any direction he wants! Neat, huh?

Lucas: (Smiles a Bit Sheepishly) Yeah. He...kind of reminds me of Yoshi in a way.

9-Volt: Hey Lucas! (,Shows Lucas a Tiny Yellow Figure Standing on the Palm of his Hands) I want you to meet my pet: Fronk!

Lucas: Oh uh. Hello, Fronk. (Pulls Out Finger as a Friendly Gesture) It's nice to meet you.

Fronk: (Uses Both of his Hands to Hold Lucas' Finger While Shaking Him Up in Down in the Mid Air Must to His Surprise) The pleasure is all mine, Master Lucas. (Finally Lowers Lucas Down) And I must say, that bowtie of yours looks magnificent on you.

Lucas: T-Thanks, Mr. Fronk....You look great too. (Turns to 9-Volt While Whispering to Him) How is he THIS strong?

9-Volt: (Smiles Sheepishly While Rubbing the Back of Head Back and Forth) I.... might've modified him to have superhuman strength.

Lucas: Woah......B-But anyways, it's really nice to finally meet you all today. My name is Lucas a-and after today......(Closes his Eyes and Shout) I-I HOPE CAN WE BE THE BESTEST OF FRIENDS!

Everyone: (Cheers in Rejoice) YEAH!!!

Ashley: (Sighs While Smiling Sheepishly at Lucas) My darling Lucas~

????: Awwwwwww~

Ashley quickly comes back to reality as her eyes begins to widened before turning around to see Mona and Penny smirking at Her In a teasing fashion.

Mona: Staring at him with that lovey-dovey eyes of yours already?~

Penny: Hmmmmmmmmm?~

Ashley: (Groans in Annoyance While Walking Away) Let's just get this picnic over with.....

An Hour and a Half Later at the Diamond City's Picnic.........

Lucas: Wait. So..... You're telling me that Wario set an entire stadium contest, mistakenly stole a portable potty, and almost cheated all of you out of your money....just to order pizza?

Penny: Yeah.....It was pretty chaotic in those a two and a half days. But at least we had good time regardless. Even after Wario tried to steal our share of the deal afterwards.

Wario: Hey! In my defense, that Gold Challenge was all my idea from the very beginning.

Mona: Yeah, but we still helped.

Everyone (Except For Lucas and Ashley) Yeah!

Lucas: I...gotta agree with them, Wario. That was a pretty jerkish move on your part.

Wario: (Crosses his While Looking Away in Annoyance) Ehh Whatever! I can always scam you losers anytime I want....

5-Volt: (Place her Hand on Wario's Shoulder While Giving him the Dark Glare Herself) What was that?

Wario: (Gets Startled) AHH! N-N-Nothing!! W-Wario didn't say anything! I swear!

5-Volt: (Sighs While Calming Herself Down) I sure hope not....

Everyone: (Giggles Softly at Wario's Dispense)

Lucas: If you don't mind me asking, when was the first all of you have met each other?

Mona: On the day we first started working with Wario. It was supposed to be one time thing, but.....oddly enough, the more we started working on the company together, the more we got more closer to one another than we ever thought we would.

Ashley: (Nodded in Agreement) It's true. While Red and I met them shortly after, our entire relationship with one another has gotten more close overtime. In fact.....(Starts Smiling Softly) Besides the Smash Family, everyone here is.... practically like a family to me. Even if they do get on my nerves sometimes.

Penny: (Heart Begins to Melt in Pure Happiness) Oh, Ashleyyyy~ (Pulls Ashley into a Loving Hug) Thank you!~

Everyone (except for Wario and Lucas) begins to join in on the group hug. Showing Ashley how much she means to each and everyone to them as well.

Ashley: ('Sigh') Thank you so much, everyone.....Now, get off.

Everyone: (Chuckles Lightly as They Pull Away From their Group Hug)

Lucas: (Chuckles Lightly) Even as co-workers, you guys managed to form a close bond with one another. You really are amazing.

9-Volt: (Smiles Brightly) Thanks, man. Ooh! Speaking of which, what's your family like back home? You know, besides the one back in the Smash World.

Wario: (Starts Choking Up on his Food a Little)

Ashley: (Eyes Widened in Horror) Oh no.....

Lucas: Oh. Well, umm....Back at my universe, I have a dad, grandfather, a really great dog named Boney, and a mom and twin brother......(Slowly Starts Frowning Sadly) Or.....at....least I used to have mother and brother.....

9-Volt: Wait. (Starts Frowning a Little in Worry) "Used to"?

Mona: (Frowns as Well) What do mean, Lucas?

Lucas: Well.....um....My mother and brother uh.... They're......gone.

Everyone: ('Gasps')

Penny: (Almost Speechless) G-Gone?

Lucas: Yeah...W-Well, I mean.... They weren't.... "gone" per say. They were....killed if anything.....

Everyone: ('GASPS')

5-Volt: (Covered her Mouth in Anguish) Oh my god.....

18-Volt: H-How!? What happened!?

Everyone: (Starts Rambling On About What is Happening Right Now)

Ashley: Everyone!

Everyone: (Stops at What They Were Doing and Turns to Ashley)

Ashley: ('Sigh') Look, I know all of you have questions in all of this, but... could you please not overwhelm Lucas here? He's been through a lot....

Lucas: (Gives Ashley a Sad Yet Reassuring Smile) It's okay, Ashley. I don't mind telling them what happened.

Ashley: Are you sure you wanna go through with this?

Mona: Yeah. You don't have to force yourself to tell us.

Lucas: (Simply Nodded) I'm sure. It's....not gonna be easy to tell, but... I'll do my best to stay strong throughout it all. (Takes a Deep Breath Before Speaking Again) Okay. So....it all started back in Tazmily Village, my hometown, it was morning time and.....

Regardless of how challenging it was in a few areas, Lucas continues to tell everyone almost everything that happened to him in the past. About Porky, the night that took his mother's live away, the disappearance of his twin brother and the sacrifice he took for Lucas in the later half of his tragedy adventure. As he told them each details, it wasn't long before tears begins to fall down on everyone's faces. Even Ashley started to shed a tear or two as she held Lucas' hand throughout the whole process. The explanation itself only lasted around fifteen minutes as Lucas mentally sighs in relief for lasting this long without breaking himself down.

Lucas: ......And that just about sums up everything that happened. It was.....a rough time for me back then. Losing love ones, getting out of a near death experience....It was a miracle dad and I managed to pull through till the very end without losing our minds. But....on the bright side....(Starts Smiling a Little) It....did taught me to be more brave and mindful over the years. And in a way, I'm kind of thankful for that, cause.... I don't think I would've become the person I am right now it weren't for that and all of the new friends and family I've made along the way. Kuma, Duster, Ness, Red, the Smash Family....(Smiles Down at Ashley) Even you, Ashley. I can't thank you enough for everything you've done for me.

Ashley: (Smiles Softly at her Boyfriend) It's really no problem at all, Lucas. If anything, I should be thanking you for being my friend to begin with....(Starts Blushing Again) A-And for being my boyfriend afterwards~ I love you for that....

Lucas: (Smiles Brightly) I love you too, Ash-

Before Lucas could finish saying his girlfriend's name, him and Ashley suddenly gets pulled into a hug by Penny, while she's still in tears.

Lucas: P-Penny!?

Ashley: (Glares at the Gender Girl) What has gotten into you!?

Penny: Sorry! ('Sniff') Didn't mean to ruin the moment. ('Sniff') My emotions are already running all over the place. So....('Sniff') I thought maybe hugging it out....('Sniff') Would help it go down a little, you know? ('Sniff')

Ashley: (Sighs While Rolling her Eyes) Whatever helps you feel better, Penny....

Penny: Thank you! ('Sniff') And Lucas?

Lucas: Y-Yeah?

Penny: ('Sniff') I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that in past and I'm so happy you're doing a lot better now. ('Sniff') And I know what it feels like to lose someone who's close to you, so....('Sniff') If you ever need someone to talk you, I'll always be there to listen and help, okay?

Dr. Crygor: (Joins in on the Group Hug) That goes for me as well, young man.

Mike: And me.

Doris 1: And for I as well.

Young Cricket: We would be honored to help you anyway we can as well.

9/18-Volt: Don't forget about us!

Kat/Ana: And us!

Lulu: And me!!

Mona: And me as well. We'll always be there for whenever you need us, Lucas. Promise.

Ashley: You guys are too helpful....Can you believe them, Lucas?.....Lucas?

Lucas: (Already in Tears) I know we just met and everything, but.... ('Sniff') I'm so glad.....('Sniff') THAT WE'RE FINALLY FRIENDSSS!~

Penny: Oh buddy! Don't cry!~

9-Volt: Yeah! Of course we're friends!~

Ashley: (Sighs Once More as She Hears her Friends Rambling on About Their Newfound Friendship) (So this is where my life has gotten to at this moment.... Being surrounded by a bunch of hyperactive fools and a cute, emotional boyfriend.....) (Smiles Softly) (I love it already.)

5-Volt: (Smiles Tearfully at the Kids Getting Along) ('Sniff') This is do sweet.....

Mantis: (Happily Nodded in Agreement) Agreed. I believe this will be a start of a beautiful friendship together.

Dribble: (Noticed Wario is Sniffing Right Beside him) Hey man, you getting emotional there too?

Wario: N-No! ('Sniff') I-I'm not crying! ('Sniff') I just got something in eye!

Spitz: Yeah? Like what?

Wario: ('Sniff') (Finally Burst Out Crying) YAHHHHHHHAHHHH!!! WHY DOES THE TWERP HAS TO BE SO SADDDDDD!

Dribble: (Starts Snickering) So much for not caring.

Spitz: (Snickering as Well) Yeah. Guess you really do have after al- (Felt Wario's Snot Coming Out on his Sleeve Before Sighing) Nevermind.....

Bonus

Ness: So.... Lucas met these guys yesterday and you're saying that ALL OF THEM wants to join the squad as well?

Ashley: (Sitting Next With All of the WarioWare Crew While Giving Ness Simple Nodded) Yes. All of them.

Mona: (Smiles Softly at the Boy) I hope you don't mind.

Ness: N-Not at all! I was just.... surprised by how many of you are there, you know? But....(Sigh Slowly Turns to Wario) Are you sure letting him join is a good idea?

Wario: (Glares at Ness) HEY! I can be nice and trustworthy as much as any of you losers in this stupid mansion! (Starts Eating his Chips While Looking Away)

Mona: (Smiles Sheepishly) W-We'll make sure he's on his best behavior.

Ashley: Yeah. (Slowly Starts Moving Herself Over to Ness) We'll...make definite sure about that....(Whispers into Ness' Ears) Write his name in the Unofficial category. I don't trust him one bit.

Ness: (Whispers Back to Ashley) Neither do I. (Writes Down Wario Name Down his Clipboard Before Smiling Brightly at the Gang) Welcome aboard, guys!

Everyone: (Happily Cheers in Rejoice)

@26shann

@keyenuta

@caleb13frede

@cyber-wildcat

@ma-lemons

@albion-93

@illyrilex

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

i’m an idiot. i screw everything up.

Titans 3.03

still here, still doing this. these reviews take a fair bit of time that i cobble together across days (like, ten minute chunks during breaks, etc) and i tend to struggle to keep up with episodes as they come out. this means that by the time i’m done with one, most of my stuff is jossed (or geoffed in this case? idk) or outdated and the post sinks like a stone into oblivion. so! i’m going to change things up a bit with this one and write as i see the episode rather than collecting my thoughts later. in my experience with spn, that was a faster way to get them done. 

anyway. let’s see how it goes! *shadowboxes*

SPOILERS ahead.

1. an auspicious start with some grave-digging!

digging up a grave and breaking open a coffin is some serious, back-breaking work--that dick did it on his own, likely straight after that fight with red hood, is a testament to the sheer intensity, stamina and discipline that he’s capable of. like, we like to joke about dick cooking cauliflower crust pizzas and making gar and rachel spar and memorise sun tzu--and despair at the obvious consequences of some of bruce’s parenting skills--but imagine crime-fighting almost daily without any superpowers, performing some of the most intense parkour in bulky, uncomfortable armour, doing detective work, pushing through every last barrier of exhaustion and then getting up to repeat it all over again the next day. dick probably thought he was going extra-easy on rachel and gar.

1.5. then again, dick probably had a hundred different easier ways to confirm whether jason was still buried or not, from using equipment to merely asking connor to have a quick look with his x-ray vision. but, no, he’s too caught up in confusion and terror, not really having come to terms with jason’s death in the first place, leave alone the possibility that he could be alive after all. he can’t possibly let the others know until he’s confirmed it himself, even if it means digging all through the night until his arms are jelly, thinking over and over again about jason’s eyes, jason’s voice, from behind that red mask. 

... besides, dick has good reason to believe that he could’ve been hallucinating. wouldn’t be his first psychotic episode, after all.

that just imbues this sweaty, desperate, fingers-scrabbling-in-gravedirt scene with that much more poignancy, and a fair bit of bone-chilling terror. dick is horrified to realise that jason’s grave is empty, but a part of him is also probably relieved.

1.75 (... also it’s curious that we’re never shown any of the team asking to see jason’s grave after they come to wayne manor. i guess it’s because the writers--and the audience--know that jason is actually alive, but these people don’t know that. i don’t know if it’s sad or infuriating or both that they’re barely shown mourning him.)

2. oh GOD the sheer TENSION in kory saying, “i don’t want to say it, but--” and dick quickly interrupting, “it was jason. i saw him,” and hank giving him this loaded sidelong glance. i love how dick’s precarious mental health from last season is still this big elephant in the room but at least nobody’s blowing up in his face and questioning his every decision yet

2.25. i love the relative matter-of-factness with which they’re discussing a possible resurrection. and, of course, ra’s al ghul is brought up and quickly dismissed

(still wouldn’t put it past this show to bring him up at the very last second as the real real mastermind)

2.5. “maybe they can bring donna back” OH KORY

2.75. didn’t they have this same conversation about killing/not killing rose last season? man, the og titans make me tired.

and i don’t know if it’s just hank, but there’s a definite in-group/out-group vibe going on with the og titans, where they’re not only ready to consider killing anybody who threatens the group but makes it difficult for new people to fit in. donna and kory got along well with each other, but the dynamics between hank/donna/dawn and gar/rachel/rose were somewhat strained, and with jason, they were really fucking terrible. it makes sense when you think about how the titans started and how they broke up the first time--both were fairly disruptive events, i’d imagine, in that they probably got together to break away from their mentors and strike out on their own, and when they split up, it was the first time they felt directly responsible for the loss of an innocent life.

but the titans that dick is leading now is explicitly about mentoring a young generation of heroes, about second chances and found family. dick definitely wants to reach out to him first, and i have a feeling he’s going to be forced to make some sort of terrible Choice later on in this episode. 

2.8. (honestly tho, this also seems like hank struggling with his own guilt re: jason; if red hood is not the kid that he failed, it’d be easier to fight him.)

3.

HANK NO

4. honestly this season is already ticking off so many things on my wishlist, but i really wish dick would sit down with the newer members of his team and trust them with important information the same time that he’s telling them to the other members. gar searching for help and reassurance from a man who just dumped all of his responsibilities on his son overnight and went AWOL is a sad sight

4.25. has it only been just 48 hours????? wow! jason’s definitely been planning the red hood gig for a long time now...

5. ezekiel, my man! shady looking guy gets into your cab without a destination in mind... no problem, get right in! said guy gets a call to go to the observatory when he’s barely even looked out of the window so far at gotham... yep, a damn tourist! i want more ezekiel in this show.

5.25. (of course jason has upturned table lamps all along the floor... we have to *gritted teeth* balance the TEAL with the ORANGE don’t we?)

5.5. “dick’s a fucking psycho--he could be following you right now.” hank... has no objection to that lol

5.25. hank, hank... this is bad-decision-palooza. i can’t imagine that hank actually thought that jason was reaching out to him for help, given that the last time hank and jason had any substantial interaction hank had been one of the people accusing jason of sabotaging the team. but for him to go seek out jason and go along with his demands without any backup, weapons or equipment? not the best idea he’s ever come up with.

(add to that getting into the swimming pool of a condemned gym... oh yuck.)

((yes, i have enough self-restraint to not cap his ass.))

(((cap his ass! HA!)))

5.5. do you think jason has bugs/monitoring equipment planted in wayne manor to monitor the titans, or remote access to the cave’s systems? wouldn’t put it past him.

6. oh man, hank came back before dick and the others could meet ezekiel! this is TRAGIC

6.25. i mean, it’s plot-convenient that connor was able to give so much information about the bomb from just looking at it once, but i also like to think it’s the luthor-side of him coming to the fore. it also reminds me of that (in)famous scene from the new52 run of Nightwing comics, where a bomb was attached to nightwing’s heart and luthor disabled it by killing nightwing (temporarily). it’s a neat little callback. 

6.55. “where i come from, you go after family? there’s no mercy.” BUT THAT’S THE PROBLEM ISN’T IT

6.75. i mean, dick’s making sense: this is a game, and they need to get it off playing out on jason’s terms. but having a member of his team in his face, doubting his reasoning and every decision? a very familiar sight. 

6.8. krypto with an a+ sense of humour? also a very familiar sight.

7. wayne enterprises... providing the military with... bombs that can be implanted in humans? a BIIIIG yikes. i guess it’s not too many steps above developing clandestine intra-dermal trackers and implanting them in your own sons, and bruce probably thought they could be used as part of negotiation tactics, but still... YIKES.

7.5. on the other hand, conner being asked to build a deactivation advice seems part of a growth arc that started from last season... he knows so much, but part of growing is learning, and part of learning is using what you know to create something new.

8. oh man, my heart broke at hank going “i’m an idiot... i screw everything up.” like. for him to go like this, after being brought down to such a low last season? struggling with pain and addiction and his relationship with the love of his life? it’s so sad.

9. oh, oh, oh! ronnie from schitt’s creek! i love her!

9.5. “one of jason’s minions” took his body out of the morgue... how deliciously morbid that he planned out his own death like this!

10. TALK TO HANK, DICK

honestly, tho, i’m quite impressed with dick here. trying to think beyond just the most alarming part of the crisis at hand, keeping his cool, delegating tasks, frequently touching base with different members of his team... well done. 

10.25.... whoops, spoke too soon. i’m genuinely confused here, tho. where did the van full of gold bars come from? why did they stop there and get out? how did dawn even know about this?

on the other hand, it’s cool to know dove has bulletproof feathers!

10.5. eh... curran walters isn’t really selling red hood’s menace to me so far. but then again, if titans version of red hood is vulnerable-kid-with-father-issues-trying-to-overcompensate, then yeah! yeah, it makes sense. 

11. “when bats have sex, they gotta have something to hang from” OH GOD HANK

... because i want smiley!gar on my blog :)

11.5. awww. i feel sorry for hank but NONE of these fuckers deserve gar except maybe kory

12. ohhh FUCK! look at jason being exactly one step ahead of the titans at every turn. nice.

no really, i love the building stakes and the building mystery - i feel like the deathstroke arc from last season should’ve been more like this. the flashbacks about jericho and rose came too late and after too much build up, which resulted in a very underwhelming and confusing season throughline.

13. HANK AND DIIIIIICCCKKK

“you’re doing your best by me. always have.” WAILING HERE

it also kills me to think that hank thinks that his imminent death is because of his failure to keep the team together (when he was clearly struggling with his own issues and was spiralling towards rock-bottom) and his fear that he will once again be the cause of the team falling apart. 

also:

14. “i grew up... you can, too. you just have to face your fear.”

yep, got scarecrow’s grubby little fingerprints aaaaalllll over this. 

14.25. nightwing’s got specialised batarangs! yay! (somehow i can’t see this universe’s dick calling them “wingdings”)

15. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

oh man, that was devastating. well done, show. fuck, well done, jason.

this is going to bring up all sorts of “if onlys” for the team. i can’t wait for some fucking aftermath. 

[blackcherrykiss]

BLOOD BOUNDARIES - Enhypen OT7 Fanfic (ch.6)

[CH.1] [CH.2] [CH.3] [CH.4] [CH.5] previous chapters

[CH.7] next chapter (unavailable, check back or follow for updates!)

genre: vampire au, romance, drama, mystery, thriller

note: written inspired by enhypen's storyline, given-taken lyrics & teasers. please keep in mind all members are apart of this fanfic and the main theme is mystery/drama!

*P.S swear words are used (i try not to use them often lol but i feel they added to the emotion in the dialogue) the beginning lowkey not proofread sorry happy readings!

"I sensed you were here." He commented sternly as he stood up from the piano bench.

You stepped back, "Y-you just play really well... Didn't mean to be a creep." You get shy with shivers after realizing he knew you were around. From what you recall, you were absolutely silent.

His wordless response was a cold signal to leave. And so you did. Whipping your head back behind you to see people begin to exit their rehearsal rooms. You left Jay alone as he probably wished, mindlessly waiting for your roommates to storm out. The doors along the hall were now wide open so that you could search the rooms. Like a scavenger hunt, you went in and out of each music room, clueless as to which one you would find your friends in.

"Y/N?" You hear Hyesun before you could even step foot into one of the larger sized rooms along the hall. You slung your head up in surprise to see your roommates chatting with faces you were tired of seeing.

"Long time no see." Heeseung visibly bit down on the tip of his tongue causing your emotions to run wild. You were irked to see Nana, Hyesun and Dahee (in case you forgot these are the names of y/n's dormmates) with Jaeyun, Heeseung and Sunghoon.

"Haha..." You laugh uncomfortably at the overwhelming mixture of people.

"We were just thinking about having a party before the upcoming long weekend," Sunghoon plastered a dark smile that you found strangely annoying. He had some corrupt aura and every bit of your gut felt alarmed by him.

"Jungwon is in the next room over, you should ask him to come here," Dahee said calmly and reassuringly. If anything all of your roommates looked unexpectedly comfortable and relaxed in the presence of some of the school's hottest boys. You imagined your friends to be flustered since they had secretly fangirled to you about them during late-night girl talks. It seemed they had become genuine friends instead of fangirls. It made you question your intuition and trust issues. Maybe it was just you overreacting and these boys were friends, not threats.

Nodding your head, you run off to where Dahee had mentioned Jungwon was. Chasing until you met a closed door with a dim light shining through its' crystallized glass. Listening close you could hear Jungwon sing softly through the door, making your heart rate rise a bit. Like a fool, your heart was going in circles. You focus your eyes through the bits of glass that didn't distort your vision to see Jungwon in pure grace.

"He sings pretty well doesn't he?" You felt a whisper brush the conch of your ear. Not even bothering to see who the whisper belonged to, you agreed.

"Yeah... I've never heard him sing before." You blush at yourself, finally taking a look to see who you were even talking to.

Your gaze met a pair of sharp cut out eyes, "If I heard a person sing like that, I'd be convinced I'm in love with them." Kim Sunoo taunted, trying to make it obvious that your feelings of interest were on full display, even to a stranger. "You might get hurt though, being in love with Jungwon." His voice was a deep frequency that hummed in the bloodstream of your ears.

"Why would it hurt?" Your curiosity getting the best of you.

"He's capable of things you don't want to imagine," Sunoo fakely sighed, his breath hitting the side of your neck. "Jungwon's truly a bad boy. Playing around such a delicate flower." And with that said, Sunoo swung the door right open.

Jungwon abruptly stopped mid sentence, startlement creating a pale cast over his face, "Y/N? What are you doing here?" Jungwon laughed a bit to himself, a little embarrassed after the fact you had probably heard him sing.

"She was standing outside since the beginning of the song." Sunoo smiled smugly before walking out, leaving you in the icy room alone with Jungwon.

"I didn't want to interrupt... That's not even the point... I came to tell you that my dormmates are in the other room talking with the guys."

"The guys?"

"You know... Sunghoon and them... I-I'd really appreciate if you were just there Jungwon." You were sincere because, for some reason, he looked lonely. You would also really feel more at ease with Jungwon around and you hoped your sincerity reached him.

Jungwon had put on a concerned face before dropping it, realizing he was overreacting."Oh. Alright... I'll be there in a few minutes." Jungwon got up, shuffling his sheet music stand into a neat stack that hid in the corner. He had responded in a way that was much calmer than you expected. Perhaps you were expecting him to lash out about being around his friends?

"But Jungwon I want to ask you something..." You hated the secrets between the two of you, it was a mystery game you didn't want to play anymore, "Can you just explain what your relationship with Sunoo... Not even Sunoo, the rest of the guys."

He stopped in his tracks, knowing you were tired of his lies. "We're all orphans from the same orphanage. We just never got adopted." He spoke bluntly in a cold and rushed tone. His answer was enough to have you not ask any more questions about their relationship as it seemed too personal and insensitive of you to keep asking. "Since we were all too old to stay at the orphanage, some social workers came and took us to live in a house together. The house is just on the outskirts of the school but we only go there for long weekends and breaks when there is nobody on campus..." The realization of when Jungwon had said Heeseung was his dormmate came back to you. "They're like my brothers. But, some bad things happened to them in an incident we had a couple of years back at this carnival.. We were never the same after that." Jungwon had gotten somewhat emotional blurting it all out. He had choked up as you heard his words full of frustration built up in his throat. When you looked deeper into him, you found your heartache as his eyes glittered with tears.

"I-I trust you Jungwon. I'm so sorry I must've put you in an uncomfortable situation." You felt like an awful human being hearing his story.

"No, I'm sorry. I'm being too protective with you over those guys. I'm sorry about that. I just see you and get worried. They've become bad people..." He slid his fingertips from his forehead up until they tangled with the roots of his hair, closing his eyes to conceal his emotions.

You could've just hugged him right then seeing him in the midst of crying but your mind was a haze, foggy with not wanting to cross the unspoken boundaries between the two of you. The skinship of hugging was still considered too much for your friendship and you weren't openly ready to have the feelings of endearment that come with carrying out such an intimate gesture. You knew by being in such close distance with him would make you a fool for love.

"I think we should go to the others." You darted with a sudden wall forming between the both of you. You shuddered in pain with your cold remark after Jungwon had just revealed something so deep and vulnerable to you. Even if Jungwon had just told you an intimate part of his identity it was like he became more of a stranger to you. It seemed everything Jungwon was saying was quite true but still Sunoo's words had scarred your subconscious of falling in love with him or even merely liking him. Jungwon had said the boys were bad people but what excluded him from them?

You made your way back, leaving Jungwon to be alone and cool down from whatever you had just made him think of. Every second, regretting you didn't just wrap your arms around him and comfort him. Had it not been for Sunoo, maybe you would've trusted there was nothing more to what Jungwon than what he had just said.

"Did you find Jungwon?" Dahee lifted her eyes off of Sunghoon to yours. You got deja vu when you saw Sunghoon staring at Dahee with the same eyes he used during the commotion at the library.

"Yeah, I think he's just packing up his stuff right now..." You gulp awkwardly as everyone had settled into smaller groups. You think your eyes were deceiving you when you noticed Sunoo now in the room, being quick to withdraw from the conversation he was having with Hyesun and Nana to approach you.

"You don't look well. Something happen between you and Jungwon?" A wicked bubble of laughter rising in his chest.

"Not at all..." It was half true half not. Nothing had really happened mentally or physically but emotionally, there was something.

"Interesting because I was just asking those two girls about you and Jungwon. It seems you two are a lot closer than I anticipated."

"We're just friends, we're just getting closer these days."

"Sweetheart, he's not really trying to be your friend, right? He's just using you like how these boys are doing with your girl friends right now."

"Using us? Using me? Our relationship isn't that shallow. Maybe your dimwit friends would do that but I know Jungwon." You were offended by his assumption, who was Sunoo to claim such an idea?

"What makes you think you know him?" Sunoo laughed gravely at your statement. "I've heard a lot about you from Heeseung and Jaeyun, Y/N." Sunoo used your name. It seemed you both knew each other's names without having to directly say it or formally introduce yourselves.

"I'm flattered I'm that pretty enough to them that they would talk about me, Kim Sunoo." You used his name in the same power he had used yours in a sentence.

"More than just pretty, you should watch yourself. The pretty girls of this school don't last very long in this school."

"And why is that?"

"I think you'll find out soon enough." Sunoo snickered while swaying himself up and away after looking at the doorway.

"It looks like a party in here." Jay had entered with an arm hanging around Jungwon. You hadn't realized how packed the room was until Jay mentioned it.

"Yeah and we're planning one right now." Heeseung spat in a jokingly annoyed tone at Jay.

"A party???" He laughed, "If the school finds girls with us outside school grounds or even near the dorm we'll all be fucking expelled." Jay raised his scratched brow in interest as to Heeseung's response.

"Yeah as if the teachers are even awake super late at night. Literally, no one monitors the halls at night." Heeseung let out an airy scoff from across the room. You and your roommates were all flustered at the plan of a party so late at night. You were embarrassed your mind was even in that direction. "Our place is not far from here Jay, calm the fuck down."

"H-hey I think us girls will head off to eat, we'll settle the plans another time." Nana made eye contact with all the girls as a signal to exit. It seemed the mood took a bitter turn when Jay had entered.

It was an awkward scurry out the door as Nana pulled Hyesun with her. You shortly followed, looking behind you to see Jungwon give a lifeless stare at the ground. Your eyes focusing in on Sunghoon who whispers ever-so closely to Dahee. Whatever he told her, it tinted her face a plush pink.

"Dahee let's go." You glared at Sunghoon before putting on a sweet smile toward Dahee. You couldn't just watch Sunghoon act like such a flirt to Dahee, not when you knew something was also going on between him and Kyungeun.

...

Dahee hums beside you as Nana and Hyesun walk in front. The four of you were quiet, not one of you bringing up the encounter with the boys.

"Do you guys actually want to have a party with them?" You interrupt the silence.

"Y/N they are the hottest guys at our school, do you think we're going to pass on the opportunity?" Hyesun answers.

"Jaeyun told me he and Heeseung could get a couple of drinks from the town over the weekend." Nana added.

"Drinks?! How? Were literally all minors?!" You freaked out like a child.

"Not sure... I do admit though... I'm scared we'll get caught." Nana admitted making you feel reassured knowing she was leaning more toward not having a party.

"What else did you guys already discuss about the party?" You asked, hungry for the details.

"Apparently they've got a place really close by to here. I guess they live together?" The thought of what Jungwon had said to you earlier about the boys all being orphans came back to you.

"Where exactly is there place?"

"Somewhere in the woods of school." _________ author here lol just want to check in and make sure everyone remembers everything from the very first chapter :-) i told you guys that stuff mentioned in early chapters have big significance in the later chapters! Also feel so bad there are so many characters to keep track of LOL I will make a profile of all the characters once everyone is introduced.

Please leave feedback if you have any and thank you for being patient!

[thewayshedreamed]

Fight or Flight— Nessian AU

This one-shot goes out to @bookstantrash 💕 

Thank you so much for the prompt— “I almost lost you.” for Nessian! Prompt is in bold within the post.

Warnings for strong language + mentions of combat and injury

——————————————————————————

Cassian fell into his office chair around 4:30 PM, the force rocking him back a little. He squinted his eyes and pinched his scrunched nose between his thumb and forefinger as he willed this Cauldron-foresaken day to end.

It had been a long day of strategy meetings, supplemental trainings, drills, and checkrides. He had a rather uncomfortable conversation with a cocky little shit of a pilot, who carried himself as if the other members of his flight were there to provide a backdrop for his greatness. Overall, his flight team was skilled, dedicated, and they treated him with so much respect that it surprised him at times. Not that he wasn’t deserving of that respect, having risen through the ranks with impressive speed since joining the military as an airman all those years ago.

According to his superior officers, he was one of the finest pilots for generations, and he had shown a natural ability for leadership as early as basic training. He was dedicated to being fair, set high standards for the members of his flight, and considered their input as frequently as he could. In return, they made his job somewhat easier by executing his orders flawlessly and in a timely manner. Most of the time, anyway.

The loud rumble in his stomach reminded him that he had skipped lunch. It wasn’t the first time, nor would it be the last, but he tried not to lament over small things considering they were at war. There was never enough time, and he’d adapted over the years to running on very little when necessary. He rubbed his eyes roughly with his palms, blinking against the light coming in from the window and looked to see what tasks remained for the day. Nothing that couldn’t wait for Monday.

He grabbed his jacket and aviator sunglasses as he stood, put them on, and walked out of his small office a little early.

“Would you like me to forward your calls, Captain Mortel?”

“You know me well, Nuala,” he said with quick wink. “You wouldn’t happen to know if Captain Spion is back, would you?”

”He’s gone for the day,” a deep voice called from several office spaces down the hall.

“Never mind. That answers my question,” he chuckled. “Have a good weekend.”

”You too, Captain,” she said with a small smile.

He walked the several paces down the hallway to Azriel’s office, hoping to drag him out early along with him. He leaned in the doorway, offering a small knock on the door jamb with his knuckle. Azriel looked up from his desk, leaned back, and ran his hands down his face.

“You look like you had the same day I had,” Cassian said through a laugh.

Azriel gave an ironic-sounding laugh in return. “Was your day a complete shit show? Because if so, you would be correct.”

”Almost makes me miss the days where all I had to worry about was my own plane and my checkrides,” he replied wistfully.

”Don’t pretend you worried about your scores. False humility doesn’t suit you.” Azriel stood from his desk to gather his things.

Cassian laughed, the sound echoing through the hallway. “I seem to remember you doing okay for yourself, too.”

It was true. They were almost terrifying as members of the same flight, and they regularly set the bar for the rest of the pilots. Both of them extended their help wherever the could, aiming to improve their fellow airmen’s performances in everything from confidence to specific maneuvers. When they’d each climbed the ranks to Captain, it was almost poetic that they became flight commanders within the same squadron.

They walked out of the building together, discussing where and when they were going to meet up to drown this day in whiskey. They decided they would meet at the bar after they both showered and ate dinner. Speaking of which, he realized he had almost nothing in his apartment for food. He decided to go by the commissary to grab a few things to cook, hoping that maybe he was early enough to get in and out quickly.

The gods had mercy on him, and he found himself standing in the short checkout line within minutes. He zoned out while he waited, his gaze fixed toward the commissary doors as he daydreamed. His thoughts were interrupted as a familiar head of golden brown hair entered his line of sight.

Nesta Archeron, a brilliant intelligence officer who he had the frequent pleasure of running into on base. His first encounters with her were short, mere introductions before she shared relevant information to his superior officers. He had served as a liaison as well, traveling to her building to make requests or gather information on behalf of his Commander.

They started to share pleasantries when they would run into each other, asking benign questions about each others’ days or commenting on things around base. She was stunning, her features elegant and soft. And those eyes. They seemed to cut through him like no one else’s ever had. He’d basically word-vomited the fact that she was beautiful one day and asked her out for dinner. She’d chuckled and tapped him on the top of his shoulder with a cupped hand before stating, “That’s not a good idea, Captain.” Then, she had just walked away.

Not that he had certain expectations, but he was always a little perturbed by her sheer indifference anytime they spoke. He hadn’t changed how he interacted with her after she shut him down, not wanting her to think his kindness hadn’t been genuine, but it wore on him that she never seemed to drop her mask of politeness. Quite honestly, he was used to people liking him pretty readily, his charm and warm demeanor immediately putting them at ease. Nesta Archeron was not most people, though. That was probably the reason, he mused, that he’d been thinking about her basically every godsdamned free minute he had in the day. She was an enigma, and he felt compelled to figure her out.

——————————————————————————

He was on his second whiskey, listening to the band that was playing and making idle conversation with Azriel. He noticed a group of women nearby who kept looking over at them, and a drink appeared in front of Az minutes later. He chuckled, leaning in to Azriel to taunt him a little, but the words died on his tongue.

Walking in across the bar was none other than Nesta. She was in a short-sleeved red dress that kicked out just a little at the waist, falling at her knees. Her hair was in a low chignon, curls pinned around her face and a delicate comb tucked in close to the bun. She was smiling, speaking to an incredibly petite woman with short, dark hair. He recognized her from the intelligence office; Amren, he believed.

His mouth dried up as his eyes trailed Nesta’s long legs, landing on the pair of black pumps she wore on her feet. He tried, and probably failed, to be subtle in looking at her, but the red lipstick that graced her lips was killing him. He was so jealous of that stupid fucking lipstick.

“You should go talk to her,” Azriel said. He jumped slightly, having almost forgotten he wasn’t alone. Not so subtle, obviously.

Cassian shook his head and cleared his throat. “I’m good. You don’t have to babysit, you know. I think you owe someone a ‘thank you’ dance for the drink,” he deflected.

Az gave him a small, sideways smile. He was almost bashful when this sort of thing happened to him, which was a lot, now that Cassian thought about it. His knew his eyes were already searching for Nesta against his will, and he decided that maybe he should give up trying to ignore her.

“Tell you what. You go say your thanks, and I’ll go ask Archeron to dance with me.”

”Easy for you to say. You know her already.”

”Exactly. Which means that I know I’ll likely get shut down. I’m doing this for you, brother.”

”How noble of you,” Azriel said, as he knocked back the rest of his whiskey and rose to his feet.

——————————————————————————

It took him a third whiskey and several more minutes to even consider standing up to find Nesta. He knew Azriel would never let him live it down if he didn’t go over there, but he took his time deciding if his pride would better survive Azriel’s eternal taunts or Nesta’s rejection.

You are a fucking pilot and flight commander who has to lead dozens of men every day. You can handle asking a woman to dance with you. Go talk to her, you idiot.

Turns out, his inner monologue was kind of a dick.

He rose to his feet, scanning the room until his eyes landed on her. She was sitting at a table with Amren and several other women, a glass of neat whiskey in front of her. He felt that summed her up pretty readily; a glass of whiskey among glasses of sugary white wine.

Good thing he liked whiskey.

He mastered himself enough to walk over and silently cursed the short curls at the top of his head for falling against his brow. He didn’t like the look of a buzz cut, but he also didn’t love that the curls on the top of his head had a mind of their own most of the time. Her eyes fell to his as he approached, and she him offered a small smile.

“Captain Mortel. To what do I owe the pleasure outside of work hours?” she teased. Whiskey agreed with her, he thought. Her friends fell silent at their exchange, watching with rapt attention.

“Cassian, ma’am,” he corrected with a small smile. The formality of her address irritated him.

He looked around the table, offering a broad, genuine smile. “I apologize for interrupting, ladies. I have some critical information to share with Miss Archeron. That is, if you all are willing to spare her.” His eyes flitted to hers. She may have been immune to his charms, but it didn’t seem like that applied to her friends as they adamantly insisted they didn’t mind. They all but hauled her to her feet, Amren offering a subtle push at her lower back.

“Lead the way, Cassian.” The way she said his first name was so intentional that he wanted to roll his eyes, but he was distracted by his thoughts of other ways he’d like to hear her saying his name.

“I think it’s best discussed on the dance floor, Miss Archeron.” He had one arm bent behind him, resting on the small of his back, the other extended to her, palm up.

She took his hand heavily, showing him she knew exactly what he was up to. She followed nonetheless, and once they reached their destination, he gently placed her hand on his shoulder. He placed his large hand on her waist, and lifted the other in his as he lead them across the floor.

“Nesta,” she said, still looking over his shoulder.

“Pardon?”

”Call me Nesta.” Her steel blue eyes met is, and he swore he saw them soften a fraction. “So, what is so important that it couldn’t wait for Monday?”

“Ah. That. Well, truth be told, I didn’t have anything all that critical to tell you,” he paused, laughing softly when she looked at him with an expression that said, no shit.

”I hope you’ll forgive me. It just didn’t seem suitable to wait for Monday to tell you how devastating you look tonight. It’s hardly appropriate workplace conversation.”

“You’re insufferable, you know that?” There was no irritation in her voice, nor did she move away from him.

“So I’ve been told.”

He pulled her a fraction closer, and she let him.

——————————————————————————

They’d swayed together for song after song that night, taking short breaks at a small take next to the dance floor. They were talking about anything and everything, their laughter carrying through the small venue when there was a break between songs. At some point, they had started sharing one glass of whiskey rather than opting for two.

Cassian knew he was totally and royally fucked.

He walked her out later that night when her group of friends started to tire out. He stopped just outside the doors, and her friends walked slowly ahead, allowing them some privacy. He curled his index finger under her chin, and eased her face upward to look at him. His other arm was secure behind his back; the only place he trusted it to be.

”I had a lot of fun. Be careful going home, yeah?” He kept his voice soft, not wanting to risk her becoming shy at the thought of her friends overhearing them.

She bit her bottom lip as she looked at him, giving him a small nod.

“I had fun, too,” she breathed. The corners of her lips drew up slightly, retrained by the secure pressure her teeth had on her lower lip yet again. She might have been the death of him.

Before he could think better of it, he raised his thumb to stroke her cheek and had to clench his other fist when she leaned into his hand to keep from pulling her to him. He swallowed thickly, hoping his voice would come out more stable than he felt.

“Goodnight, Nesta.”

”Goodnight, Cassian.” She turned her face, placing a soft kiss to the tender part of his palm at the base of his thumb before she turned to leave.

She left him standing there, dumbfounded and grinning like a fool. He looked down at his palm, the soft lip print left by her red lips, and closed his fist before he walked inside to find Azriel.

——————————————————————————

In the days that followed, nothing changed. He remained insanely busy each day and saw Nesta minimally. He wished there were more reasons for him to travel to her office and visa versa, but he had likely exhausted his fill of luck on that Friday night.

His world turned on its head on Wednesday as the alarm sounded. There were no scheduled drills that he was aware of, and his heart leapt into his throat. He saw Azriel running into the hangar from another direction, his eyes locking on Cassian’s. They approached each other, their postures already morphing into the leaders they were called to be. It was Azriel who spoke first.

“Incoming air attack. Just got word from the Commander.”

”Shit. Okay. Let’s fucking do this, huh?” He was trying to keep his tone light enough without downplaying the magnitude of their situation.

“Not like we have much of a choice. Stay safe, brother.” He gripped Cassian in a hug, patting him roughly on the back. Cassian returned it quickly and broke away.

“Stop saying your goodbyes, Spion,” he said as he broke into a backward jog toward his flight team. He raised his voice to finish, “They chose the wrong fucking base!”

——————————————————————————

Cassian awoke to a blinding pain in his head and a high-pitched beeping sound coming from his left. He kept his eyes firmly shut, trying for the life of him to figure out where he was and why he was in so much pain. He creased his brow as he concentrated, only able to conjure snapshots of the events that led him here.

Take off.

Giving orders to his flight team.

Circling back for an aircraft in pursuit of one of his airmen.

Shots fired, bullets flying. Explosions as they met their mark.

Another loud explosion, an aggressive shift of his plane.

Losing an engine.

Bailing out.

Everything was blank after that, until right now, where that obnoxious fucking beeping was going to make him violent. If he was dead, he was surely in hell.

He opened his eyes, squinting against the faint light overhead. He turned his head slowly, fighting a groan at the pain that shot through his temples. His mouth was dry as shit, and he needed to find some water stat.

His eyes snagged on something foreign next to his hand. He lowered his chin to look at it properly, and as his eyes adjusted, he realized he wasn’t alone. It wasn’t a something, it was a someone.

That same damn head of golden brown hair that had been haunting him for months was on the edge of the mattress, resting on her bent arm. She was sitting in a chair, bent over to rest her head on his bed, and her other arm was extended, resting just above his knee. Her face was softer while she slept, he thought. He looked at her for a few seconds, not wanting to disturb her slumber, and realized he couldn’t give a shit less about that beeping sound all of a sudden. Nesta fucking Archeron was here.

Okay, so definitely not in hell, then.

He looked down, realizing his chest was bare save for the rolls of gauze and bandages wrapped around him. He had no clue what that was about, but he figured someone would tell him eventually. He noticed bruises and scrapes on almost every exposed part of his body and a cast on his right ankle. As far as he could tell, he still had all of his limbs and could wiggle his toes. He decided he was grateful, even if everything hurt like fuck.

His movements must have roused her, because Nesta’s eyes suddenly opened. She sat up and rubbed them before turning them to Cassian in assessment. She started at his legs, running her gaze over him, and over to his monitor. Her eyes snapped to his own once she realized he was awake.

”You’re awake!” The relief in her voice broke his heart. She gripped his hand with both of hers, careful not to disturb him too much.

”Yeah,” he croaked, his voice ragged from disuse. She pulled one of her hands away, grabbed the small styrofoam cup on the side table, and handed it to him. He grabbed it with his opposite hand, cringing a little at the pain in his chest as he reached across his body. He brought the cup to his lips, leaving his eyes on hers as he sipped. She took it from him as he lowered his head back down to his pillow.

“Your parachute deployed, but it got tangled while you were still in the air. Luckily it eventually opened, but you were already fairly close to the ground. Your ankle is broken and you have several broken ribs. They aren’t sure what you hit, but you sustained impact to your head at some point. Be careful if you touch your face... there are some stitches on your forehead and through your eyebrow.” He honestly would have been okay with a few more injuries on the list if it meant she would keep talking to him like this; with a gentleness and care he had never seen. He rolled his head toward her to look at her properly, and noticed tears running down her cheeks.

“Don’t cry, sweetheart. It’ll take a lot more than that to keep me from sticking around and annoying the hell out of you,” he joked.

“That’s not funny, Cassian!” She clutched his hand in warning. “I listened to the radio all day. I found out through communications that your plane went down.” Her tears were rolling in earnest now.

He was such an ass. Why the hell did he insist on putting his foot in his mouth?

”I’m sorry. Really, Nesta, I’m sorry. Please don’t cry. I’m okay.” He squeezed her hand, wishing he could pull her into his chest to comfort her.

Her tears continued despite his request. “I didn’t know what to do, what to think. I couldn’t get clear answers from anyone about your status for hours. It was a nightmare, and for a second, I thought.... I don’t know. Worst case scenario, is what I thought. I almost lost you.”

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to make sense of what she was telling him. He started rubbing soothing circles on the back of her palm before he spoke.

“I’m not going anywhe—“ He was interrupted by a sudden coughing fit, all thanks to his dry fucking throat. Beautiful timing. Excellent. Perfect.

He groaned between coughs as he felt the sudden pain wrack through his ribs. It was as if someone was taking each one and snapping them over their knee like small tree branches. He couldn’t get his throat to cooperate, sending his chest into contraction after contraction. He started clutching for his chest, grimacing, and trying to do anything possible to calm his reflexes down.

Nesta jumped from her chair, perching on the edge of his bed. She gripped his face gently with her hands, willing him to look at her. Once he did, she encouraged him to relax, and grabbed his water cup to hold it to his lips. He managed to hold back his cough long enough to take a couple of sips, and he was finally able to relax into the bed again, breathing through clenched teeth.

She brushed his curly hair to the side in a soothing gesture, trying to tame the wild strands somewhat in the process. She spoke to him in a soothing voice, hoping to keep him as calm as he could manage.

“You have beautiful hair. I know women who would kill for it,” she mused.

He huffed a laugh. “Has a mind of its own.”

”Seems true to form, considering the head it grows from.” She laughed when he glared at her. “I’m serious. You should grow it out one day. Just to see its potential.”

”Mmm... I’ll think about it. I think I could try it out for you,” he replied with a smile.

They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes before it occurred to him that the clock read 3:00, and there was no light coming through the window. It was 3AM, and here she was.

”I’m surprised they haven’t kicked you out yet with how late it is.... Not that I’m complaining. I want you to stay.” He hoped he hadn’t offended her, but the look on her face showed only amusement. “How’d you manage that?”

She bit her lip in a sheepish gesture, and he had to fight the urge to reach up and release it with his thumb.“When I found out they had located you and were in transport, I ran here immediately. I didn’t have much of a plan. I’m sure I looked like a lunatic to the young nurse’s aid at the station. I asked for you, but she told me that only family could see you,” she trailed off, looking down at the bedsheets. “I was all over the place, and I just blurted it out... that I was your wife.”

His eyes had to be the size of saucers. They were fairly familiar with each other through their work, and they’d had that one perfect night at the bar. But he’d never kissed her, nor had he brought her out on an actual date. She was the one who had turned him down, for Cauldron’s sake.

He couldn’t hold back his chuckle at her words or the blush that fanned across her cheeks.

“How long was I out? We seem to have come a long way,” he teased, hoping to ease her nerves.

”Oh, shut up. To be fair, I have to think on my feet a lot with what I do, and it kind of took me over. I was apparently quite convincing.”

”Didn’t even court me properly,” he mumbled in mock offense, grinning as he shook his head. He promptly stopped when he remembered the headache.

“Alright. You’re hilarious,” she stated dryly. Her voice quieted a bit more as she said, “I know I overstepped. I just wanted you to be okay, and I couldn’t stand not knowing. I’m really sorry.”

”It’s okay, really. You were the perfect thing to wake up to in here. Thank you,” he replied. “I’m honestly just surprised no one fact-checked you.”

”Once I was in here, they kind of just ignored me except for updates. I’ve gotten lucky that no one that would know better has been in here. Well, except Captain Spion, but he’s keeping my secret. He’ll be happy to know you’re okay. He’s been pacing around in here anytime he’s had a free moment and scaring the shit out of all the hospital staff.” She laughed, and he didn’t think he could ever hear enough of it.

“Sounds like Az. I’ll check in tomorrow,” he said. “But hey, before I forget, since we’re married anyway... would you be interested in going out sometime?” He hoped he hadn’t misread this shift between them, but he couldn’t let her leave here without asking.

She sat there for several agonizing seconds before leaning forward and pressing her lips softly to his. When she pulled back, her blue eyes were shining as she said, “Absolutely. I love that idea.”

——————————————————————————

A/N: I enjoyed writing a little fluff after that angsty multi-chapter. 😂 Let me know what y’all think! 

If you’d like to be added to my tag list, shoot me an ask, comment, or reblog! I’ll be happy to add you! My tags have been acting up, but I’ve been emailing Tumblr about it. Hopefully that’s not a long-term issue. A girl can dream, right?

Tags (Masterlist):

@polireader// @justgiu12 // @hizqueen4life // @sis-it-dont-add-up // @b00kworm // @bookstantrash​

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Kiro’s R&S - Youthhood (Eng Translation)

🍒This R&S (少年时代) was part of the Dream Heart Lake event which will unlikely come to EN🍒

Cancelled Kiro’s R&S:

> top experimental subject (by another user)

> stunning young idol

> youthhood ♡

> heaven’s home for children (by another user)

[ Chapter 1]

Kiro sits on the highest flight of steps of TKTS. With the scorching sun directly overhead, he’s queuing to purchase discounted tickets to “Wicked” with Pei En.

TKTS, which sells discounted tickets, is located in the bustling Times Square in New York, USA. Behind it is the NASDAQ screen, and on both sides are shops selling Disney products and all sorts of fast fashion brands. The buildings in front and in the surroundings have gigantic, neat and pretty advertisements.

Among them, a gigantic “The Avengers” poster above the subway is the most attention grabbing.

This is a representation of the era. It’s a symbol of the 20th century, and is also similar to the cyberpunk world of “Blade Runner”.

“I’ve got the tickets!”

Pei En waves the two tickets to “Wicked” in his hand. Pei En is the guitarist in his band. Kiro’s agency formed a band for him, and most of the band members are French locals. Only Pei En is of mixed blood like Kiro - a child from a Jew and an Asian.

“If the performance had gone smoothly, we would have reached earlier!”

They have a final performance in New York as part of their tour, and would have to leave after, rushing to Los Angeles, California.

“This time, I’m going to hide the donuts in an even more secret location so the person who inspects the tickets wouldn’t discover them!”

While Kiro says this, he finishes the donut in his hand.

Donuts from Dunkin’ Donuts are very sticky. Only Kiro can treat such things as delicacies.

His ringtone sounds. With a glance at the number on the screen, he hangs up immediately. Pei En is very curious to know who the caller is. He has expressed curiosity regarding everything involving Kiro, and Kiro knows why.

“Is it that fellow Lawrence again?” Pei En asks. Lawrence is the agent of their band.

“Nope, but it’s definitely a harassment call.”

“It should be.”

Pei En seems to be a carbon copy of Kiro. Aside from his hair not being golden coloured, he is extremely similar to Kiro in terms of bubbliness and openness, and how simple-minded he is. 

-

[ Chapter 2 ]

After purchasing the tickets, both of them return to the agency. Lawrence is at the side, looking through the program booklet for their performance tonight. Lawrence is overwhelmingly ambitious. He won’t give up until he bags a Grammy Award for the band.

“Did you know? Another group of strange people came to look for you again.”

The moment Lawrence sees Kiro, he pulls the latter to a corner. Pei En curiously watches on.

“What kind of people did you provoke? They look like they shouldn’t be trifled with.”

Kiro shakes his head. “What do you mean by ‘they’? Fans?”

When Lawrence sees the innocent and harmless expression on Kiro’s face again, he knows that his questions wouldn’t get him anywhere. Kiro always manages to find ways to conceal himself.

“How’s the preparation for the concert? You’re the lead singer, and all the girls are flocking here for you!”

“I’ll definitely perform even better than usual!”

Kiro looks to be full of zest and in high spirits. He genuinely loves being on stage, and loves how he radiates brilliance. Who doesn’t like seeing fans go into a frenzy over them and be captivated by them? It enables Kiro to fully feel that he is still living on this earth. And that on this earth, there are still so many people who like him...

“I’m guessing you went to buy a souvenir again today.”

Lawrence comes to such a conclusion after glancing at Kiro’s bag. Kiro has a hobby - to buy some souvenirs wherever he goes, whenever convenient.

From Paris to Munich, Zurich to Stockholm, Vancouver to Montreal - wherever he goes on tour, he would buy local fridge magnets and postcards, and he would always buy two sets.

He wants to collect these things, so if a day comes when he can meet her again, he would show them to her, and say:

“Look! This world is so beautiful, and you no longer have to be afraid.”

But till now, he has yet to find her. He remembers her eyes. One day, he will find her in a vast sea of people. 

“Did you know that the agency from China has sent someone to negotiate with us? They want you to sign on with them, and the amount they’re giving you is basically--”

Lawrence’s tone is exaggerated. “How are people in China so wealthy!”

“What if I said that I wanted to go to China?”

“Hey, buddy, the band can’t do without you.”

“Haha, Pei En is much more outstanding than I am.”

At this point, Pei En is still watching them. Kiro understands him too well. He’s much too curious. Also, he’s only curious about Kiro, which could very quickly expose Kiro’s hidden identity.

Did that group of people actually send Pei En to monitor him...

He kind of underestimates Pei En though.

“But that fellow is always so absent-minded. God knows what he’s thinking about.”

-

[ Chapter Three ]

Americans enjoy overstating things. At one moment, they go “only God knows...”, and at another moment, they go “for the sake of God...”. Some people can’t stand it, but Kiro finds it very interesting.

Very quickly, Kiro begins rehearsing with the band. His style of singing changes a lot. When they were in Europe, they mostly played rock music. When they reached America, they started playing country or jazz music.

Kiro likes the southern accent of the keyboardist from California. But Lawrence prohibits it. “The southern accent is the most crude and coarse form of English! Why can’t you learn the way the British speak?”

Lawrence has always favoured people who can speak eloquent British English - to him, only such people are refined and elegant. But Kiro grew up in France. When he first started learning English, he tended to pronounce “ch” as “sh”. Actually, French is genuinely elegant and pleasant to listen to. And English tinged with a slight French accent can make one absorbed in it.

-

The concert ended smoothly.

The fans are cheering in a frenzy outside, wanting them to perform one more song. But the agent has already told them to leave.

Pei En and Kiro take a car and rush to the theatre to watch “Wicked”. This is the final Broadway show they want to watch, and it was a shame that Kiro didn't get to watch the well-known Hamilton.

At the entrance, that group of fellows stopped him again. 

The person standing at the forefront is a Caucasian woman. She walks up to Kiro elegantly and greets him, signalling for the person next to her to bring Pei En away.

“I’ve already given you a response through e-mail, and I hope you won’t disturb me again.”

The Caucasian woman proceeds as usual, showing him an FBI ID.

Kiro grumbles in his heart.

“I swear I won’t disclose the contents of ‘The Avengers’. Even though I’ve already watched it on my laptop, I’ll definitely watch it again in the cinema!”

The Caucasian woman laughs.

“Mr Kiro, you’re very humorous. Even though we know that apart from Disney, you’ve also hacked into Universal Studios and Paramount Pictures, we’re not here to talk about this.”

She continues: “KEY - that’s you, isn’t it?”

-

[ Chapter 4 ]

Kiro doesn’t respond, his eyes widening as he glances around. 

“In order to track down your IP address, we had to destroy four computers.”

“Are you looking for me to make compensation for the computers?”

“Mr Kiro. Ten years ago, you expended no effort to hack into our computers, and left behind a string of mysterious characters.”

The Caucasian woman smiles at him amiably. Kiro’s expression grows serious. Ten years ago, that KEY who hacked into their organisation wasn’t him...

“Ten years later, you’re back again. I think you're trying to provoke us.”

“I don’t have such an intention.”

“Whether or not you do, we can’t let you continue this way. Mr Kiro, this is a serious issue. We are now sending you a sincere invitation, and we hope to work together to do more noble things.”

Kiro is silent. He had previously found a clue leading to his own master. Finding out that he had entered the American FBI website and left behind a series of symbols - he thinks this is message to him from his master. As such, he entered it as well, and found that series of symbols, but until now hasn’t been able to decipher it.

It’s a series of very strange symbols, reminiscent of a new language formed using Latin and Roman symbols. He managed to decipher it a little, and it appears that the series of symbols seem to be pointing him to a location.

And the FBI had found him quickly, sending him an e-mail. It was a solemn reminder that if he was unwilling to be enlisted by them, he would lose his rights to use a computer forever.

“You’ve stated these things clearly in the e-mail, and I’ve already replied.”

“I don't think you have considered the severity of this matter. Mr Kiro, we can detain you.”

"In that case, I’ll just sing in jail then!”

Seeing the displeased look on the Caucasian woman’s face, Kiro continues smiling simple-mindedly.

“I hope you wouldn’t regret this in the future.” The Caucasian woman leaves a final statement that is often found in a script for a classic villain. She leaves with the large group of people. 

Pei En walks over frantically, and Kiro walks towards him as well.

“Tell them that I’ve met with some trouble, and will need to leave America immediately.”

Pei En pretends to be puzzled.

“You understand the meaning in my words, don’t you?”

For the first time, Kiro looks at him seriously. During serious moments, he doesn’t smile. 

“Where do you plan to go? We can send you to Russia.”

Pei En is no longer smiling. His expression changes, along with his entire aura.

As expected, Pei En is much too similar to him. If Kiro were to leave the band, Pei En could take over his position as the lead singer, and that group of people had considered this fact too.

-

[ Chapter 5 ]

The face of the little girl surfaces in Kiro’s mind again. 

The girl is lying with him, and is all smiles as she looks at him.

“Don’t be afraid. When I’m out, I’ll buy you donuts, okay?”

The girl draws the shape of a donut in the air.

Back then, Kiro didn’t speak. He just stared at the ceiling in a dazed state.

“Don’t worry that I won’t have enough money. My dad will give it to me.”

Kiro remains wordless, quietly listening to the little girl speak.

The little girl struggles to pull on his hand.

Their fingers lace together, the warmth from her palm gradually coursing into Kiro’s heart.

“Don’t be afraid. I’ll protect you.”

Kiro turns to look at her - to look at her determined brown eyes, to look at how the corners of her lips angle upwards. Kiro slowly learns how to curl the corners of his lips from her. It’s the first smile to appear on his face. 

Suddenly, the door is flung open. A group of people wearing doctor’s coats enter and drag him away. The little girl watches him in a daze, and he stares back at her. They agreed to go out to have donuts - can they still eat them?

-

“I want to return to China.”

Pei En shakes his head, alarm in his eyes. “Why? There’s so much freedom here, and I’m the only one who monitors you. And I’m inclined to trust you more now. You won’t betray us.”

“No... I still want to go back.”

Not just for the little girl. The symbols left behind by his master seem to point to a certain location in China... Where exactly is it? And why did he leave the symbols with the FBI? Could it be the place he’s hiding at right now?

No matter what, he wants to solve this riddle.

“All right. I’ll handle it for you as soon as I can. I think you’d have to use a false identity this time.”

“As long as everything goes smoothly, it’s fine.”

“Don’t worry, there’s nothing they can’t do.”

He wants to wait till he returns to China before telling Lawrence about what happened. Lawrence will definitely be extremely frantic. After all, he’s been following Kiro ever since he debuted in France.

And Pei En will definitely be happy. He can finally take over Kiro and become the favourite member of the group, and obtain love from the fans.

Kiro is someone who doesn’t lack love. But he always subconsciously wishes that he could obtain even more love. More and more...

-

[ Chapter 6 ]

Before Kiro retuned, Pei En gave him materials pertaining to the agency in China.

“Your agent is called Savin. He doesn’t seem as eager for instant success and quick profits as Lawrence. Mr Savin is a very amiable person, and you should be very happy interacting with him.”

“Is he one of your people?”

“I don’t know.”

“You really don’t know?”

Pei En shakes his head. “I rank too low, so I don’t have the right to ask. I’m just an elementary spy.”

Kiro nods, taking his luggage and preparing to leave. He’ll set things straight eventually.

“Kiro, I don’t think you’re transparent. They say that what’s in your heart is easy to guess, which is why they put me by your side. But I think they have underestimated you.”

Kiro looks at Pei En’s troubled eyes, then showcases his signature sunny smile.

“How can that be? Do you want a postcard? When I get to China, I’ll mail you one. I also want to mail them to Lawrence and the members from the band. Treat it as an apology.”

Like Kiro, Pei En showcases a sunny smile. “In that case, we’ll wait for your news. You’ll definitely be at the height of popularity in China.”

“Let’s work hard together.”

“Yes!”

After parting with Pei En, who has been with together with him from morning to night for so long, Kiro lifts his luggage and embarks on an unknown journey. 

As what Pei En said, he isn’t transparent. His brilliant smile conceals something underneath, just as the brilliant sun shrouds darkness underneath.

Hidden in the depths of his secrets are things even darkness doesn’t know of. If darkness had a mind of its own, it might think it doesn’t fit with this pure and simple youth.

Just as how everyone think he’s a simple, innocent Kiro, the sunlight casted on him can pierce through him completely, the rays of light refracting onto the floor. 

Actually, since a very long time ago, he was no longer a youth...

But, for her sake, he's willing to become a youth again.

“Don’t be afraid, I’ll protect you.”

He once again recalls what the girl said to him.

“This time, I’ll be the one protecting you.” Kiro says excitedly. He stands outside the JFK Airport, his eyes staring directly at the sun.

“I’ll find you, and protect you. I even have a mountain of souvenirs stored in my luggage. I’ll give them all to you. And my purest heart - I’ll give it to you too!”

-

Other cancelled R&S: here

[popculturebuffet]

Top 12 Christmas Episodes!

Merry Christmas Eve Everybody! We’ve reached the end of my christmas reivews and what not on this blog. 

But as a wise barrel chested canadian man once said, I fucking love christmas, So if i’m finishing up the holiday on my blog I want to go big and stay home. So in honor of the holiday, my memories of it and just how GREAT it makes me feel i’m counting down my top 12 christmas specials! After last year’s worst of list I really wanted to do the oppsiite.. but it was naturally a lot harder. Shows usually put a LOT of effort into their christmas outings, even the ones who do so once a year, so the good FAR FAR OUTWEIGHS THE BAD. To show the contrast I could only find like.. 8 I was comfortable with putting on the worst list and even some of them aren’t that bad just not good. With the best of list? I had over 60 considered and even once I started narrowing down.. it was still around 30 or 40 REALLY GOOD specials I had to work down into this list. It took a lot of work and up to the last one it was really HARD to cut it down this far. But this is the best of the best of the best of the best of the.. you get the bit. We’ve got a lot of ground to cover and this review was already supposed to come out on christmas eve, so, since I won’t be able to use this for another year...

Er. Top 12 Christmas Specials.

12. Merry Christmas Johnny Rose (Schitt’s Creek) So I finally watched all of Schitt’s Creek this year.. and i’m kicking myself for not powering through it’s terrible starting decent ending first season earlier because the show is easly one of the best comedies of the last decade and rightly earned it’s emmy sweep this year. Heartfelt, hilarious, and starring some of the best names old and new in comedy, the show is really great and I recommend checking it out.. just again be aware the first few episodes are not very good and if it wasn’t vital to the rest of the show story wise, i’d just recommend skippping season 1. While the characters minus patriach Johnny are insuferable at first... it’s their growing from self absorbed assholes to still self abosrbed but really good and decent people that is the beating heart of the show. And no where more is this heart on the show’s sleve than at christmas time as this episode is baked in just how far our cast have come.

The episode centers on Johnny Rose, played by Eugene Freaking Levy who co created the show with his equally talented son Dan who desrves the lion’s share of the credit for the show’s upturn in quality. Since the Roses used to have big lavish christmas parties once a year, Johnny decides to throw the equilvent of what they can do on a budget at the Motel they all live in. But his family all has other plans with daughter Alexis, now happily with Ted again, meeting his friends for the first time, son David, played by Dan Levy, busy at his store with his partner, in both senses, patrick and his wife Moira having a performance with her acapella group. At first it just comes off as something typical of johnny: Something well meaning and what not but ultimatley just not something his family is into or that he planend well for.

It’s only when Johnny finds himself alone at the local diner with Moira coming to see him we find out why he’s REALLY doing this: the old lavish parties, which we see one of at the start.. ultimately ended up with him alone, sad and everyone off to their own corners. WIth the family having actually come together over the past 4 seasons, Johny simply wanted to celebrate that and says such in one of the best moments in the entire show and with one hell of a line.

"I just thought, in spite of all the hardship, we found ourselves coming together, the kids, you and me, as a family. And it just seemed like the perfect day to celebrate that. The perfect day for a Rose Family Christmas Party." But Moira has already taken care of it and thus takes JOhnny home to find all their friends and the rest of the family gathered, wtih the Jazzagals serandading eveyrone with a beautiful rendition of silent night. It’s just a warm, well done character piece that really fits the holiday while also really cementing what the show had become: a show not afraid to make dirty jokes or humilatie it’s cast but one that has a true sweetness to it. It’s only that the first half’s jokes don’t quite pop all that well and feel a bit at johnny’s expense that holds it back. Otherwise this is one i’ll be coming back to every year.

11. Father of the Bob (Bob’s Burgers) Bob’s Burgers is a damn great show i’m season’s behind on. Warm, charming, weird and with an expansive side cast played by a whos who of whose in comedy today. It’s a damn fine show and i’m happy it seems to have manatained it’s quality long after the simpsons and family guy lost theirs. And the show really loves christmas.. and halloween.. and valentine’s day.. and thanksgiving. Oh god does it love thanksgiving. Point is, the shows good at holiday episodes and loves doin em and has produced some stellar ones and I had a lot to pick from here.. but I ended up going with my gut and my personal faviorite. It’s not the most christmasy despite the trappings, but the character work is just too good to leave it out in the cold.  It’s Christmas Eve and the Belcher’s are visiting Bob’s Dad. As you can tell by the fact the most we’ve seen of him is a picture of his restraunt, big bob’s diner in the belcher’s living room and a flashback where he told bob to work instead of play as a kid that set off an episode’s plot, they don’t have the best relationship. Bob has a firm rule about not spending more than 15 minutes with his dad, as that’s the point they run out of things to talk about and his dad starts getting overcrytical and making jabs at bob’s life and restraunt. Linda, being Linda, decides to meddle and when she finds out Big Bob’s short order cook is missing, has our Bob fill in.  But as we see in flash backs it’s not THAT easy to repair things, as there’s a long, bitter history between the two: When a youngbob made his first unique burger and served it to a customer, his dad threw it out without even letting anyone taste it. He then offered bob a partnership when bob was a young man but Bob snapped at Big Bob in front of his friends and left to make burgers his own way, leading to where we are now. And honestly i’ts the perfect origin story for Bob and adds a lot of shades to his character. He’s obessed with the restraunt not just because he genuinely loves cooking but because it’s HIS. His place, to create creative burgers, his family and his regulars. It’s his corner of the sky. It makes the restraunt’s existance and surivvial that much more heartwarming to know the meaning behind it.

Naturally things end up blowing up with Bob pointedly serving the burger to make a point and Big bob walking out angrily and sadly. It takes bob’s gift from the kids, who had their own neat subplot of making gifts for bob in the basement, a snowglobe wrapped in newspaper.. to find out hsi dad kept the newspaper with the review of his first restraunt and kept ALL reviews of Bob’s Burgers. Despite being a stone faced critical ass on the outside, Big BOb STILl cared.. and bob relizes he needs to make amends and actually make an effort instead of just avoiding his dad or gettin gback at him. And through the power of gay club next door line dancing, and nick offerman whose a wonderful guest star here, the two reconcile with Bob admitting he shouldn’t of humilatied his dad even if he had to go his own way, and Big Bob admitting he’s hard to work with, the loss of his wife hit him hard, and he was a bit too much. The two hug, and it’s genuinely just a good, well done story of father and son that somehow gives even more dimension to Bob, an already pretty damn fleshed out character. Just a really great episode whose holiday timing makes it better.. though not being AS much a holiday episode as a really good bob’s burgers that’s enhanced by it is why this one’s so low. Next!

10. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (MST3K) I”m honestly surpised i’ts taken me THIS long to get to something MST3K related. I’ve loved the show since high school, first exposed to it thanks to a dvd from the library and continuing from there to present day. I love the show’s combination of riff’s on perfectly cheesy movie and fun skits with really good puppets especially for the budget. It’s just good comfort food in show form and no where is comfort food more welcome than christmas, and each era of MST3K, so far hopefully the show will come back again eventually, has had i’ts own damn good christmas special, with this being my faviorite out of the three. 

The other two are good: ironically I have a poster for the santa claus over my computer, or rather crow and tom as santa and pitch aka satan respectively. Yes really, that’s the premise. IT is as awesome and batshit insane as it sounds. Point is I like that one and year without a santa claus, this one just has more personal warmth to me. I jus tlove the holiday feeling of joel and the bots readying for christmas in the host segments. It just feels like christmas and it’s wonderful to see the bots act like kids.  That being said.. it’s still also fucking hilaroius, with the mad’s hilariously petty wish squisher, a device that turns good gifts into socks and other unwanted presents, the best Crow T Robot quote of all time as he gives joel his santa wish

And of course, one of the best and most patently insane christmas songs ever: Have Yourself a Patrick Swayze christmas, which has become oddly sweet after his death and got me to watch road house for the first time last year... and it’s as awesome and wonderfully rediclous as this song inspiried by it and even better once you get the refrences

But while the host segments are what push this film into the list, the movie is still a delightful bit of 60′s cheese as, to restore their children to being children, a couple of martians kidnap santa to bring christmas to mars. Fights iwth robots, an asshole martian and an obnoxious sidekick named droppo, yes really, insue. IT’s just some fun cheese for the holiday and a staple of my holidays. 

9. The Three Wise Men (Letterkenny)  It’s no secret Letterkenny has quickly become one of my faviorite shows. After watching it last January, it’s become part of my being and one of my go too feel good shows, a funny as hell, uniquely weird slice of life show set in rural canada. While like it’s fellow recent legend of canadian television Schitt’s creek it’s first season CAN be a bit rough.. but it’s not as rough and getting through it is worht it as the show immiedatly picked up and became one of the funniest things to ever exist. It’s also uniquely tied to christmas as every year a season of the show has dropped on that day on it’s home streamer Crave TV in canada, and on boxing day here in the us. So it’s only fitting the show also has a REALLY great christmas special. 

It’s Christmas eve and our heroes the hicks, are having a christmas party. For the uniniated the hick’s aren’t really all that “hick” ish just hardworking farmers who still accept everybody and work damn hard. Leading man, terse talker and certified badass Wayne is suprisingly really into christmas, as he spent pretty much every holiday spouting out inacuracies about it but this day? He genuienly enjoys, even insiting on awful holiday drinks only and a midnight toast, the titular three wiseman (Canadian, irish and American Whiskeys, one shot of each). “It’s tradition”.  And thanks to tradition we get the main gag of the episode: most of the episode is wayne calling in various members of the town, most of whom he dosen’t like very much and some who deeply annoy him, to give them presents. And  while i’ve admitted to being a guy who dosen’t like a plot that basically repeats itslef.. it works here.. mostly because while the setup is the same, each member provides something new and hilarious: while it starts innocently enough with Bonnie Mcmurray, local fanservice, nice lady and fangirl of wayne, getting a camera and offering to be an elf, an offer wayne is forced to take up, it soon becomes a parade of weirdness and bullshit Wayne really dosen’t want to put up with and that really makes me laugh hard: Local loveable sex maniac and bar owner Gail goes on for a good minute about her sexual antics with Wayne’s beloved departed uncle eddie after Wayne gives him a picture of the guy, Glenn, another of wayn’es unwanted admirers and local pastor, obsesses over a christmas themed digeredoo, local druggies and emos the skids intitally refuse to open their gift out of prinicpal until wayne simply asks “What if theres drugs in it” (It’s insted vitamin d), the local hockey coach sings a hilarious and gloriously cringe song about having sex with his wife when they were alive and the hockey players make wayne uncomfortable both by crying a bit. Also tanis gets an apron. 

But even if the reactions horrify or piss off our hero into needing his elf’s help, the heart is in the fact that despite hating most of these people, he still got them a gift and one that’s hearfelt and well meaning. And naturally the sweetest is saved for his family of choice with the hicks: Squirrely Dan gets a pencil case for his oft talked about women’s studies class, Dary gets some clonge since he wears his barn clothes everywhere, and Katy gets an obscure korean christmas movie since her subplot that episode had been spent trying to get a christmas movie going, only for everyone to pick it apart: from the racisim of santa and co towards rudolph to pointing out how profoundly fucked up the premise of the santa claus is (including the fact various serial killers could’ve gotten the suit), which I agree with, it’s just a sweet gesture that shows how well he knows his friend. Overall it’s just a fun hangout of an episode that feels like a real christmas party and in these troubling times we could all use that. Now let’s all have a spit.

8. The Feast of Alvis (Sealab 2021) Another Christmas staple for me.. and a gloriously strange one at that. This time we’re checking under the sea with Sealab 2021, one of the earliest adult swim shows and the blueprint for the abriged series format, it took a dry hannah barbara show about an underwater research station and remixed it into the antics of a bunch of idiots and lunatatics throughuly unequipped for the task. Except Dr. Quinn, the only sane person aboard.. most of the time. It was comedy gold courtsey of Adam Reed, creator of the later Frisky Dingo, a throughly underated show, and Archer, which is like Frisky Dingo but refined into it’s truest and most sucessful form. It was magical and just talking about it makes me want to talk about it again at some point, probably in a best of list.  So naturally this madcap energy was perfect for the holidays. Originally the crew planned to use ACTUAL religions for this, but were forced by network to change it.. which ended up being one of those cases where the network ended up actually making the right call as the creators instead created thinly veiled substute for the various religions... and centered it around Alavanism, which is christianity.. but if christ was instead born in the us at some point, and instead of being a pacifist, was a drunken beligernt gun loving redneck who shot a guy in the face, has “vengance is mine” as one of his quotes (from said face shooting) and still had pomp and circumstance as part of his holiday.  Helping this though is our Alvian for the evening is Captain Murphy, the series best character and often the center of it’s best moments, played by the wonderful and sadly late Harry Goz, a half crazed half chidlish cloud cuckoolander who often comes off like a demanding child in an old man’s body. So naturally this holiday is for him and even more naturally he’s holding a massive alvis day cermeony that’s as batshit as he and his religion are in the main deck: he’s got buffalo, a buffet that’s deeply unsanitary, and a hallogen light mimickign the alvistide star that he wants to plop a baby under.  Naturally no one else is happy about this. Well Stormy, local hilarious dumbass, is as the only other alvian on board for this, and a general sucker for dumb shenanigans but he’s so plastared he’s even less coherent than usual and can mostly muster the desire to kick something’s ass or a weak “shut up” Most of all Quinn and his girlfriend debbie, who point out religious tolerance is a part of the sealab charter and that this kind of grotesuqe celebration really isn’t in season. I’ts also a nice dig at “War on Christmas Assholes”, long before that was as big a problem with Muprhy very much being the asshole and his cleebration rapidly crumbling. He also attempts to fire Sparks for being a wiccan stand in so yeah he deserves it. It’s all capped in Muprhy getting visted by a drunken halucination of his lord. All in all easily one of the best and most insane christmas specials ever put to film. If you have HBO Max watch it today or tommorow you will NOT regret it. 

7. Arnold’s Christmas (Hey Arnold)  A classic of my childhood, Hey Arnold is one of the best animated shows period. It’s something i’m not shy about saying, I bleivie I said it in my thanksgiving list and i’ll say it quite a bit. It’s not PERFECT, it has it’s flaws.. but it’s still damn good and the golden standard for slice of life shows. 

This episode naturally is one of it’s best and, while I didn’t catch as a kid the signifigance or what this was about, touches on of all things the vietnam war and the children who were helicoptered out. In a heart destroying story, Mr. Winn, one of Arnold’s boardinghousemates, reveals he has a daughter he has no idea where she is as to give her a better life, he made sure she got on one of those helicopters as an infant. While he was able to immigrate later, he never found her. Arnold being our own personal jesus, refuses to let this stand and goes out of his way to figure it out and goes on a quest that seemingly ends in failure. It falls on Helga to save the day as Helga actually gets what she wanted from her parents, a pair of nice boots, and gets the rare moment where they actually acknoledge her.. but loving arnold and seeing the noblility in his quest.. she gives it up. Just to make someone elses’ dream come true. He may never know who did it and tha’ts okay. An utterly heartwarming and heartbreaking episode. Nuff said. 

6. Santa Claus is Comin To Town  Speaking of classics this is how you do a santa origin story. Not the first or last i’d see, and we’ll get to one of those in a moment. While i’m not a huge fan of Rankin Bass’ other big hit with Rudolph, this one really hits the spot for me and is only this low because it’s pacing is really slow at points. Otherwise this special is near flawless, looks good and holds up today.  As I said this is a good Year One for santa establishing how he became immortal, how he met the elves, he was raised by them, how he started giving out toys, how he met mrs claus you know all the stuff you’d ask about.  To me what really sells it the best though is Mickey Rooney as Santa. While I had no idea who played him till literally writing this article in my mind his earnesness, kindness and genuine nature just.. fit the old elf to me even as a young man and everything from his humble beginings to his wanting to help children just out of kindness to his teaching an old man to dance to his romance just feels.. genuine and warm like christmas should. It just makes me feel good and like others on this list.. FEELS like christmas if that makes any sense. Not a lot else to say. Burger Meister Meisterburger isn’t the best vilian, but it was the early 70′s and we weren’t quite to diamond levels of complex interesting villians just yet so fair enough. Baiscally I don’t have a TON to say about this special in short, I may review it next year, we’ll see, but  it’s really good, really fun and sometimes simple just works I guess? Speaking of stop motion..

5. Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas (Community) I love a good sitcom. I haven’t shared that love enough on here, I should try and change that at some point, but I do, as a fourth of this list should make crystal clear. So while sadly some of my faviorites like Brooklyn Nine Nine, Parks and Rec and Roseanne didn’t make the cut, Community thankfully did. Community is a show that’s really damn good and had THREE awesome Christmas episodes. All three, all winners and all in contention for some time. Regional Holiday music just barely didn’t make the cut. But ultimately I went with the best of the best, the most creative, most character driven, and most intresting. And the one that in Community’s traditional style, decided to take a spin on an old genre.  In this case Abed, the study groups resident pop culture junkie, guy who thinks in tropes and future Huey Duck, is seeing everything in stop motion and may get thrown out of school as a result. With his friends deeply worried, they turn to Greendale’s local psychologist and british areshole Professor Duncan, played by my spirtual father John Oliver. ALL HAIL THIS MAN

Duncan takes the two into Abed’s fantasy and thus into a rankin bass special where Abed slowly weeds out his friends and tries to get rid of Duncan, whose naturally only intrested in proving a case. It’s a fun, chaotic ride including christmas pterodactyls, and the cast all in bizzare forms based on what Abed thinks of htem. it’s really damn creative and beauitfully animated at that.  Naturally like most of these what clinches it is the heart and soul. We find out towards the end WHy this happened: Abed’s mom is spending christmas with her new family instead of him and it’s broken him to not be able to watch specials like they do> Thus the group rally behind their friend, beat duncan in a wonderful christmas number and watch specials with their buddy, as the weird ass family some of whom have or will make out, they are. 

4. A Charlie Brown Christmas With my love of comic strips and sentiment, it should suprise absolutely no one this is on here. I love peanuts and have only grown to love it more over hte years for it’s mealancholy, finely constructed cast and weird bits people forget about like Snoopy’s disco phase, that really damn good arc where his house burned down, his brother stealing his fiance only to have her stolen from him, the fact Lucy threw Linus out once, that peppermint patty was once held back a grade and her snores took her place at her desk, the fact there was a character named 5, Charlie Brown and Linus’ friend roy who introduced peppermint patty to the cast, the fact a character named crybaby boobie exists, the fact there are specials devoted to a pastiche of call of the wild, a friend of linus’ getting cancer, and Flashbeagle. Just flashbeagle. 

It is glorious. And I really need to add that to my review queue.. maybe for late january. Seriously, tis glorious. And I OWN this one. So yeah. What were we talking about? Oh yes the special that made all the specials, especially flashbeagle, possible: A Charlie Brown Christmas This one has always been part of my life, but even beyond it’s signifigance to me, having grown up with it and grafted it to my soul, it’s just .. good. It has some good commentary on the consumrisim of the holiday with Charlie Brown rightly a bit upset about it and ending up roped into directing a christmas play. Great gags, and charlie brown trying to stick up for a scragly tree no one enlse likes insue. Oh and scripture as this is probably the only overtly religious special on the list. Not that ther’es anything wrong with not being religious and celebrating christmas: i’m not anymore but I still do and while I respect people who celebrate the holiday int he spirit of christ I have none for people who bash anyone who dosen’t just see it religiously and whose over zealous about it. Your just as bad as war on christmas people and you should feel bad.  But yeah overal it’s just an inconic special whose clunkyness in production and audio just adds some charm to it. It shows it’s age.. but only in the animation and production values, which is just.. charming. It’s message is timeless, it’s characterization is perfect as you’d expect from peanuts in it’s prime, and i’ts ending is truly heartmelting. If you’ve never seen this one.. just go do that. I can wait. 

3. How Santa Stole Christmas! (Ducktales)  I”ll be brief on this one as, since it only aired a few weeks ago, i’ve already done a full review on it. But I will justify why such a recent special is this high up: because it’s just that good. It may of JUST been aired, but it’s as good as anything else here and age dosen’t matter. Quality does. There will likely be future specials worth this list i’m sure but for this moment in time this one earns it. It has Santa perfectly charactrized and tells an utterly heartrending story of friendship that ends up ending simply because the two are moving in opposite directions and of Scrooge learning the meaning of christmas. Not thorugh the ghosts, they already brilliantly messed with that one. It’s just really fantastic, gets the christmas spriit perfectly and uses the characters just as flawlessly. I will defintely be watching this one every year. Just a warm, creative, funny as hell special. 

2. Comfort and Joy (Justice League) Speaking of reviews I held off reviews of my final two so I could save more thoughts here. I probably still will review them eventually, especially this one, I just felt i’d be repeating myself or have to be brief like the last one. But yeah this one slaps. The Justice League cartoon is easily one of the best superhero cartoons, if not superhero properties, period. Taking the base already built in from the previous three dcau cartoons, this one builds out the world and expands it , and introduced a young me to my lifelong loves of Martian Manhunter, The Flash and especailly the green lanterns with John Stewarts badass reciting of the oath easily etched in my brain. The only reason he isn’t my faviorite lantern is because mogo exists.. aka the lantern that is a living planet. 

You can see why. But yeah Jon stuck in my mind. So it’s probably no suprise that the christmas special heavily featuring all three. It’s Christmas Time and after the league stops it’s usual disaster, they head off for their usual holiday activities. Batman and Wonder Woman are missing, but it’s fine. While I love both, especailly DCAU Batman, the episode is probably better off not trying to shove them in there just for the sake of it. One of the show’s greatest strength’s was character ballance, not forcing EVERY member of the big 7 into every episode and just using whose needed and shuffling them in and out FAR BETTER than say, Ducktales. Point is this, much like being loved by anyone, was not unusual and it makes the episode tighter. Even more so since this is the ONLY half hour episode in the first two seasons, the rest are basically hour long episodes split into two parters, though still paced for being two episodes so it’s good.. and three movie length three parters for the premire, and the season finales. Fun Fact: As a kid I missed starcrossed and thus had to find out second hand, and barely at that, why hawkgirl was gone at the start of unlimited. I still have not seen it. I will correct this eventually. It was a diffrent time. 

So yeah this episode not only has a main character cast of 6, with 3 other major supporting characters, but is handily split into three amazing plot lines. The first has Green Lantern try to teach Hawkgirl how to have christmas fun by playing on a snowy world, while Hawkgirl takes him to a bar to show how she celebrates.. i.e. getting hammered and starting a fight. Nanananana, she’s gonna start a fight. It’s a fun really sweet segment, and some nice ship tease between the two.  The other two though are what make this special.. not that the first one is bad these two are just really inspiried for the characters involved: For the Flash, who in this series is both Wally and a bit of a smug quipster.. we see beneath the ego and flirting he’s really a sweet, caring guy and spends his christmas finding a toy for the orphans in this case a rapping duck. 

Not QUITE as embarassing btu close. He runs into the Ultra Humanite whose destroying the toys because he hates the comercialism and how it dumbs things down for the kids. Have I mentioned that I love the Ultra Humanite? Because I do.. the animated version. The comics version is REALLY fucking creepy but this version? He’s fucking great, an intellectual whose a formidable threat.. and honestly sympathetic. His motive here, while misguided, is well meaning and his price for selling out the injustice gang and going back to jail quitely? one of the best gags in human history. Getting PBS to say “This program was supported by viewers like you.. and the ultra humanite” He’s just awesome and i’ts a shame he never returned for unlimited. His comic version, while not BAD is just.. not NEARLY as intresting or deep and I wish the comics would have him take after this version.  And that depth shows as once he learns what was going on, he willingly helps flash and simply reprograms the duck to recite the nutcracker. It’s a really nice gesture, that flash returns by giving his foe a christmas tree. Really good stuff.  And I saved the best for last. Heading home for the holidays, Clark takes Jonn with him since otherwise he’d be stuck at the watchtower and batman was apparnetly “Begging” for duty. Granted one wonders what his surrogate dad and adopted sons think but odds are alfred would just drag them up there anyway no mater how much Dick protested. And of course Alfred has watchtower clearance, he’s alfred: he’s the only one besides Diana looking out for bruce.. and no I don’t buy the bullshit from the batman beyond comics that never happened. And Clark too, this is true... but it takes a village to get bruce to go the fuck to sleep and most of that villiage is alfred. And if your wondering “wait won’t he be in danger”... the only thing that can kill this man is apparently bane. He’s survivied earthquakes, poisonings, turning into a supervillian via radaition induced crazies, yes really, apparently dying leading to the supervillian thing, being stabbed, being shot at, having to help raise damien... my point is the guy’s been through a lot in comics, I doubt the dcau version is any less resilent and god damn I miss this old man. Salute alfred, salute.  Where was I oh yeah, Clark insists on taking John home. And it’s stuff like this why I freaking love superman. Many dismiss him as corny, unrelaistic or boring.. all untrue. Sure he’s a boyscout, but he’s meant ot resprsent the best in mankind, what we can truly be powers or no, what we can achieve and the kind of moral, kind person we can be. He’s an inspiration for us all. And this kind of act is what shows that: his response to one of his friends having nowhere to go on christmas and not having been around the holiday? Take him to his house to share in the warmth and love.  And Clark’s parents here show WHY he’s the hero he is and why I freaking love them in all flavors.. except Zack Snyder flavor and even then tha’ts only for Pa “Letting people die is the right thing to do now i’m going to throw myself into a tornado to prove that” kent. But it’s christmas so i’m not here to bitch about zack snyder and if you want that in full, you can pay for it.  My point is they show, as they should how he became the moral paragon he is: they meet a man from mars, who they’ve never met and their son just invited.. and welcmoe him without a thought. While this isnt’ their first alien obviously, and they say so, it’s still really sweet they just warmly welcome the man in and give him their surrogate daughter/their sons’ biological cousin’s room while sh’es away. Oh Kara’s away conveniently skiing with barbra. Also she lives with them in this continuity. Also maybe that’s where dick is. I dunno, but I hope so. Dickbabs for life.. depending on the continuity. I”m still dick and star for life in the titans cartoon.  Point is we get nice of sweet, and hilaroius, holiday stuff: Jonn is suprised to see this side of clark: while he’s always warm and inviting as Clark.. he can also be relaxed, enjoy the holiday and get real spirited. For one day he dosen’t have to be superman. He can just be clark. Evne superman can take a day off.. and he’s superman, he desrves one. Let Bruce and Diana take care of it after they finish marathon sex and Diana finshes with Cheetaah and Maxwell lord.  But yeah as I was saying hilarious as we find out clark used to peak and they had to, and still do, line it with lead foil to make sure he can’t peak, and Martha gives John a sweater, saying his company is all they need for a gift and when it’s a bit big he charmingly grows into it. Jonn also walks among the humans a bit and we get a great little bit of him sneaking down a chimney after hearing the thorughts of a girl whose worried santa isn’t real. It’s just all great stuff that cumilates in Jonn joyfully singing a song in his native tounge while stroking Kara’s cat Streaky.. who sadly does not have a cape or super powers in this universe. Yet. Just a really good superhero story, a damn fine christmas story and one of the best episodes of a stellar show that thankfully is still remembered in this new age of heroes. 

1. It’s Christmas You Dorks (Harvey Beaks) Yup not probably a lot of people’s first choice but fuck it. I’ve loved this one since i saw it a few years ago shorlty after the series ended, having grown far behind and caught up just as it was ending... and regretted it as Harvey Beaks is easily one of my faviorite shows from the wall to wall hit parade that was the 2010′s. It’s charming, hilaroius, heartfelt, and creative.. and really weird if not as weird as CH Greenblaht’s previous show chowder.. but still weird enough.Thankfully Big City Greens is carying the banner for this kind of show, as is Craig of the Creek, so the kind of gentle, slice of life stuff hasn’t gone away, but this show was still it’s own thing and i’m sad it’s gone.  But while it was here it was spectacular and this is one of the best of em if not the best. And naturally for a show like this it has a neat approach: The episode is dialouge free, only having some singing in the last act and that’s diagetic, the characters singing a christmas song. We’ll get to that. This isn’t the FIRST silent christmas special i’ve seen, Courage the Cowardly dog did it’s own take on the nutcracker, but it’s still the best. And given Courage the Cowardly Dog is one of my faviorite shows, that’s high praise. Each segment is charming, unique, and well done. 

As for what each are: The wraparound is a gorgeously animated bit of stop motion or something like it where the spirit of winter goes around and turns fall to winter or helps the kid with winter fun. It’s a bunch of really adorable stuff. The first proper one is the kids having a snowball fight when a bunch of asshole adults interupt, and hte kids end up getting even by hiding in some snowmen. Again just some really fun, really well done stuff.  But the first one that really makes it follows Technobear, local wannabe ladies man in training who has a crush on Harvey’s mom and fantasies about giving her some lovely read shoes and skating with her. His hopes are dashed when instead her daughter michelle, the horrifing baby child pictured above, takes them instead. But not only is it heartwarming to see the stone faced future rule of the world crack a smile, Techno instnatly realizes whats’ improtant and takes the bby ice skating.  The next segment is just some goofy googus with the squirrels, the local crooks who are also squirreels, but it’s still pretty good. We then get Jeremy trying to be santa which is both funny but genuinely heartwarming and finally the best bit as Dade, local killjoy, gets annoyed at everyone singing a popular new christmas song instead of the old standard he likes and being a dick about it before softening a bit when Harvey genuinely offers him camradere. It’s just.. good stuff that’s hard to put into words, and given putting it into words is my thing, it really speaks to just hwo good this special is. it just, makes me feel nice, and really gets the spirit of the holiday in all it’s forms. It’s gorgeously aniamted, well paced, and never stops being entertaining and that’s why it’s both my faviorite and why every year.. i’ll be coming back to little bark. And if nothing else.. it’ll keep this warm, great show alive in my heart.  So with that I end this list. If you didn’t like it tha’ts fine, this is my opinon. But I wanted to share my faviorites with you and hope you’ll check them out this or next chirstmas. Until we meet again... Merry Christmas to all,and to all a good night. 

[jalapeno-princess]

Chapter 4: Rest Of My Life

Mark Tuan X Reader

Part 4 of the “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” series

Genre: THE SAPPIEST AND CUTEST OF FLUFF (tiniest hints of angst) (horny ass Mark)

Word Count: 14K (Honestly it felt so much longer)

Summary: In every relationship, there are ups and downs. However, after every rainstorm, there is a rainbow. (I fucking hated how cheesy that was I just don’t want to give anything away LOL)

A/N: Finally I am done with this chapter UGH this one took longer to write but yet I feel like it’s the most rushed and repetitive one yet I’m actually not at all happy with how this turned out and there was a lot of fillers in some parts and literally nothing in other parts I just wanted to finish it I’m sorry if it didn’t turn out the way you all would have hoped. By the way, all of your comments on chapter three about who is behind the door made me laugh your minds are so creative I hope you all are happy with who is actually behind the door. I’m both happy and sad that this story is coming to an end (happy because there are so many other stories I can’t wait to write but sad af because I genuinely love this story it’s my first series and I just love how I wrote about Mark in here and the relationship between him and the reader is all I could ever dream about having in a relationship UGH) I don’t know when I’ll get around to writing the fifth chapter but I’m sure it’ll be within the next couple of weeks. With that being said, happy reading!

“Jackson? What are you doing here?” 

The last time you saw the older boy was the summer before both him and Mark went off to college. It felt like ages ago—but you were shocked after coming to the realization that it has only been a year. A lot has happened since their graduation; the last thing you heard from Mark was that Jackson was planning on studying abroad in China. 

Out of Mark’s entire group of friends, you found yourself gravitating towards him the most. Although, he gave you no choice to do otherwise. Jackson Wang was a golden retriever in human form. Anyone and everyone who entered his path, whether it was accidentally or on purpose would become extremely close with him—and it was usually because of his persistence to make and maintain as many friendships as possible. You were shocked to say the least as your eyes landed on his broadened figure. 

Puberty just so happened to favor Mark and his friends—they were all so good looking and very much in amazing shape. Jackson was currently shirtless and if it were anyone else in your shoes, their cheeks probably would’ve turned pink at the sight of his bare chest. You however, were pretty much used to being comfortable around him, Yugyeom, BamBam and Jinyoung. 

When it came to their group of friends, you were pretty much desensitized with any of their antics; not wearing clothing was one of them. It came to the point where Mark never allowed you around them if there was a chance they would remove any item of their clothing—but it was not as much because of jealousy; it was more so because the guys would purposely try to get on Mark’s nerves as much as possible. 

Most of your best times in high school were because of the wild and rowdy group of guys and you didn’t realize just how much you’ve missed all of them until they all went their separate ways. Honestly, it’s been a while since you’ve heard from any of the guys—but college took up more time than high school did and the four of them, along with your ex-boyfriend all decided to go to school out of state. 

They were all so excited when it was time to start filling out applications to all the different universities around the world; Yugyeom and BamBam shocked you the most when you found out that they actually got accepted to what you considered were elite colleges. If those two could get in to college, anybody could. As much as you wanted to laugh at the many memories of how both boys would never fail to get in trouble for either being late to class, or for getting caught with stealing a bunch of condoms from behind your teacher’s desk, it only occurred to you that you just referred to Mark as your ex-boyfriend. 

Not once was there ever a time in the duration of your relationship where you would have ever put Mark in the same sentence as the term “ex”. Even when the two of you had your disagreements or unnecessary arguments, there was nothing that would have caused you think like that. Was he really your ex-boyfriend? The two of you were on a break; or so you believed. You explained the difference between a break up and just taking a break. 

You didn’t want to break up with Mark; he was your person—your soulmate, your best friend. He was in your life for more than half of it, you weren’t going to give up on him that easily. Both you and your relationship needed time to heal in order for you to be able to continue loving Mark in the ways that you used to. There was not a doubt in your mind that you still loved Mark. 

No matter what were to happen down the road, your heart would always belong to him. He was still the only man you wanted to settle down, start a family and spend the rest of your life together with. But you couldn’t help to think negative thoughts like Mark finding solace in someone else. What if this break took a toll on his mental health and he felt the need to confide in another girl? What if he felt that the only way he could stop crying over you was for him to move on and start seeing someone else? 

Deep down, you knew Mark would never do anything that would purposely make you sad or go against you in any way. He was the type to talk things out before making any rash decisions. However, it was only human of you to feel as if he was so frustrated with you to the point where he wanted to do something to hurt you just as much as he claimed you were doing to him. Did he consider you his ex-girlfriend? 

Was there someone who caught his eye in the last month who made him realize there were many other girls out there? That, instead of moping around and waiting for you to be ready to come back to him, someone else could help fill the void? You didn’t know how to describe the pain you were now feeling at the thought of Mark no longer being in love with you; you’ve been worrying and overthinking about this weeks before initiating the break, and he was never around to make you feel or think otherwise. 

Why did your relationship have to become so complicated? Why couldn’t things just have stayed the way they were before Mark left? Why did his efforts lessen knowing that it was going to take twice the amount of time and patience from both of you to continue and maintain a healthy relationship? When did he come to the realization that you were no longer a priority he considered all that important?

“I should be asking you the same thing—although, it’s nice seeing you again. You look seemingly beautiful as always. Albeit a bit messy with more dark circles than the last time we saw each other. It’s a given, but trust me—he looks even more terrible.” 

You looked up at him in curiosity of his confession, but you were well aware that Mark probably told him everything. Mark and Jackson were practically brothers. The only person Mark would confide in and admit all his deepest, darkest secrets to other than you was the charming boy standing in front of you. He looked as though he wanted to pull you in for a hug, but he was also pretty hesitant not knowing what you were feeling or thinking. Jackson gave you a knowing look before letting a small smirk rise upon his face. 

“Your lover boy is the definition of a lightweight. Mark can’t drink for shit. It only took two beers for him to spill everything to me after he came back from his trip—don’t look at me like that. Yes, we drink. It’s all apart of the college experience y/n. Anyways, I know it’s not my place to meddle in your relationship, but I have never seen Mark so depressed in my many years of knowing him for. It’s obvious this “break” you asked him for is slowly killing him. The love he has for you is something people can only dream about ever experiencing in their lifetime. I caught him going through a photo album that he made of pictures and videos of you and he wouldn’t stop crying until I forcefully took away his phone. Look, I’m not trying to guilt trip you or anything and I’m not making up any excuses for him. I’m sure being away from each other is already hard as it is—even worse since you barely get to hear from him but he does have his reasons for being so absent these days. He said he told you he got a job in order to surprise you that week but you didn’t allow him to finish explaining himself.” 

Jackson allowed you inside of the dorm room and you were actually pretty surprised at how clean it was. Sure, Mark was always very tidy and liked to keep his space neat; but witnessing Jackson’s tendencies of picking food from up off the ground and eating it right after, you just assumed he wasn’t the type to care about cleanliness and hygiene. 

“Wow—nice place. Mark showed me a couple of times over Skype but it’s different actually being here.” He gave you his signature cheeky smile before motioning for you to sit down on the couch. 

“Thanks. It was actually his idea to be roommates. I guess he wasn’t all too fond of his previous one and when I decided to transfer over to New York, he offered to let me move in with him. Now, back to what I was saying. For months, Mark kept sulking over how much he missed you and how he was going to do whatever he could to see you again sooner rather than later; so he got a job at this coffee shop right across of campus. Everyone knows Mark hates coffee—but it was the only place that was 24 hours and would work alongside his schedule. Poor guy was barely getting any sleep for the few months leading up to his trip but it didn’t seem to bother him. He was just so stoked to reunite with his “favorite person in the entire world” that he didn’t care how exhausted he was from juggling school, work and his athletics. Our baseball coach even pulled him aside and told him that he needed to get better with managing his priorities or he would kick him off the team. I swear, the night he returned from California, my heart broke for him. He looked so wrecked y/n—but he didn’t say a word. We all know how much of a crybaby he can be, but it was a different kind of sadness. His eyes were so bloodshot and puffy yet they held no emotion in them. He also had no appetite at all and that’s obviously not like him. Boy can eat. I’m not saying you should completely forget how he’s been treating you, but please forgive him. I know he has your best interest at heart. He doesn’t need to say it out loud, anyone with eyes can see just how much you mean to him. Ah—I didn’t mean to make you cry; honestly you and Mark are perfect for each other. I’ll be right back.” 

You didn’t even feel tears fall down your cheeks, but it was inevitable. Every single thing that he said tugged on your heartstrings. 

Did you get lonely while I was away—working my fucking ass off at a job I hate in order to save enough money so I could come and see you? 

For the entire month, Mark’s anger-filled speech from that night replayed over and over in your mind and you felt like such a terrible person now that you understood why he’s been so distant. He tried to tell you, but you just wouldn’t listen. You were so frustrated—so heartbroken in that moment and you wanted him to know the damage that was done to your relationship because he wasn’t as involved in your life as he used to. 

Hearing that he was barely getting any sleep nor having any legitimate free time to himself just so that he could save up money to visit you made your stomach sink. You couldn’t even imagine how hard it must’ve been for him. He flew all the way to California to surprise you, only to be met with the idea of a break. It was probably very heartbreaking for him. He worked all those hours—probably put up with a lot of assholes and having to be on his feet for long periods of the day only to find out that his girlfriend needed time to heal from the pain he’s been causing her. 

You never felt so angry with yourself—but at the same time, you wouldn’t have known. He never said anything. If things were going to end the way you were hoping they would today, then you would make sure the two of you worked on your communication. Jackson returned back with a box of tissues and a bottle of water to which you thanked him politely and wiped away a few stray tears. As much as you were enjoying his presence, you were there for a reason and Jackson could tell with the way you were looking around the room as if you were expecting someone—Mark—to come out from one of the rooms. 

“He’s at work. Don’t worry, he cut back his hours so that he could put more effort in his studies, but he should be done here pretty soon. I better go—I’m going to need some time to find someone who will let me crash on their couch for tonight—or however long you plan on staying here.”

“Why would you need somewhere else to sleep—“ he gave you an incredulous look while playfully raising his brows. 

“Oh trust me, we all know what is going to happen between you and Mark once you both kiss and make up. The next thing I need is not being able to get any sleep because of how loud I know it’s going to be—ow! What? Naughty, kinky make up sex is the best! I mean, I’ll stay if I get to join in on the night’s festivities; but we all know how extremely territorial and overprotective Mark is when it comes to you so I’ll let you both have your fun. But don’t have too much fun—we already got noise complaints two months ago when Yugyeom and BamBam came down for spring break and we all got drunk while playing Mario kart. I’ll take my leave, I actually have some assignments I need to work on. Feel free to make yourself at home—oh, and please—no sex on the couch. This is where I take most of my naps, so keep all the raunchiness in the bedroom. I’ll see you later y/n. There’s some pizza in the oven, my room is down the hall on the left, Mark’s is on the right and we actually both have our own bathrooms in our rooms. You’re better off using his, I wasn’t expecting any guests so—yeah. Good luck!” 

He pulled you in to a quick hug before grabbing his keys and making his way out the door. Although you couldn’t wait to finally see Mark again, you would have rather Jackson had stayed with you until he did arrive home. You swore your heart was about ready to jump out of your chest while waiting for him. There were so many different scenarios—more negative ones than positive running through your mind about how things were going to play out. If what Jackson said about Mark was true, you were confident that he would take you back with open arms. 

However, you were afraid that he was no longer as adamant on fixing things. You were afraid that with your situation with Mark—no matter how many memories the two of you had together, no matter how many years you’ve spent together, no matter how much history the two of you shared—if his heart was no longer in it, there was nothing you could do. Instead of mending your relationship, what if this break only made Mark realize that he didn’t want to put up with your brash and cold exterior? 

People change; sometimes they grow apart—what if it was too late to come back together again? Although Jackson did tell you to relax and unwind, you didn’t feel like you had the right to. You’ve never been here before and you were never the type of person to just roam around someone else’s personal area, even if the person was someone you’ve spent over a decade of your life with. A part of you couldn’t help but grow curious as to what Mark’s bedroom looked like. 

Did he style it the way he did at his last dorm? Did it look like his room back in California that you’d spent many hours playing video games and doing your homework in? It felt extremely awkward just sitting there waiting for him to walk through the door. You should’ve asked Jackson exactly what time Mark planned on arriving home so you could have better prepared yourself for when he were to finally walk through the doors. Instead of waiting on the couch in agony and doing nothing, you got up and began the search for Mark’s room. You intended on going in to his bathroom and making sure it wasn’t obvious that you had previously cried. 

When you first walked in to his room, you immediately took in how clean it was. His walls were white, but you assumed they were already like that before he even moved in. His bed sheets were navy blue and so were his curtains. There was a tv hung up on the wall with a PlayStation and a couple of games set up right under. You decided to take a quick peek around before finally going in to his bathroom to freshen up. As you continued to browse throughout his room, you saw something in the corner of your eye.

Right above his bed frame was a picture board. You absentmindedly found yourself crawling on to his bed to get a better look at all the photos; there were a couple with his family, some with his teammates, a few with his friends back in high school—but most of the photos were with, or of you. There was even a photo of the two of you sitting on his nightstand. This photo however, had a note attached to it. It was always and will forever be you. This time, you allowed the tears to fall freely—you couldn’t give less of a shit about what you looked like anymore. 

Always. 

You were and would forever be his always. You didn’t care that you had to stay up late just to hear from him—you didn’t care that you only ever saw him physically during the summertime or during the holidays. You didn’t care that all the friends you had made in the last year would brag about the many dates their boyfriends have been taking them on. None of that mattered. Mark loved you—even after all the heartbreak he suffered in the last month because of you, it just proved that he was willing to do anything and everything for you. 

“Can I help you find something?” 

The sudden interruption caused you to let out a muffled scream. When you turned around to look at him, you had to force yourself not to practically jump at him now that you were fully aware of the many sacrifices he had made just to make you happy. However, you didn’t want to startle him if you were to throw your arms around him. For the first time—Jackson was right. Well, sort of. Mark looked devastatingly handsome; but it was something you were used to. God obviously had his favorites and Mark Tuan was one of them. He did however, look as though he’s been crying for days. He also looked tired beyond belief. You heart was begging for you to go up to him and pull him in to your embrace while leaving as many kisses all along his jaw and neck—but your affection and the need to touch him was just going to have to wait. 

“Hey. Sorry, I—I came in here to use the bathroom and I—I didn’t mean to intrude or anything—I can go back outside—“

“No, no. You’re totally fine. I um—I’m sorry if I scared you. How—how have you been? You look great by the way. You haven’t been waiting long have you?” 

The laugh of disbelief was at the back of your throat. Standing in front of you was the boy you’ve been in love with for more years than you could count on both of your hands yet—it felt as though you were talking to a stranger. You could tell by his body language and the way he was scratching the back of his neck that he was flustered. 

Whenever Mark would get shy around you, it was always a sight to behold. His cheeks would turn the brightest of pinks, he would gnaw on his bottom lip and rock himself back and forth on the heels of his feet. Normally, he would act this way after a passionate night of love making or simply when you would introduce him as the love of your life to one of your family members. In other situations, you would have found his timid exterior to have been extremely adorable, but as of right now, it was suffocating you. You knew you were the reason why he was acting so nervous; so cautious because you were sure he was afraid of saying the wrong thing and scaring you away. 

“Jackson let me in about half an hour ago, but it’s okay. He was quite the host until he left to go “study”. I’m surprised at how tidy you’ve been able to maintain this place; or should I say—I’m surprised Jackson has been doing his share and cleaning up. I really like it.” 

He thanked you softly before bringing his attention to the floor. Mark was always very confident whenever he spoke; so seeing him uncertain and unsure about how to approach you wasn’t a sight you were quite used to. Nor was it one you ever wanted to get used to. The atmosphere was filled with uncomfortable tension that you wanted so badly to disappear. Whether it was because you missed him more than you wanted to admit out loud, or because it was evident that he wanted to make his way toward you but didn’t know if he was allowed to; you found yourself taking the initiative in getting up from his bed and wasted no time cupping both of his cheeks with your hands and kissing him as if your life depended on it. 

You wanted him to know just how sorry you were for everything he had to go through in the last month because of how stubborn you’ve been. As soon as he felt your lips smash against his own, he wrapped his arms tightly around your waist and pulled you as close to his body that was physically possible. His kisses were rough as his hands roamed your body. God, how did you go so long without the beautiful boy in front of you? Everything in your life felt right again. Being in Mark’s arms while his tongue mapped his trace along your neck was an otherworldly sensation. You were thousands of miles away from California, but you’ve never felt more at home than you did right now. Mark was your home—your favorite place to escape; a breath of fresh air. You were right where you needed to be. 

“Mmm—Mark—I’m so sorry baby. Jackson told me everything. I should have listened to you—I should’ve allowed you to explain yourself. If I knew the actual reason why you weren’t communicating with me as often, I wouldn’t have been so hard on you. I would’ve been more understanding—“

“Nope—I won’t be having any of that. No apologies baby. Yes, I was exhausted beyond belief, but I should have tried harder for us—for you. I was working hard in order to finally be with you again, but I completely pushed back the purpose of why I was doing all of this; why I was practically going days with only five hours of sleep in total. Why I was typing out essays while on my breaks at work. Why I was taking down espresso shots like they were vodka shots—both of which are completely nasty by the way. You are my purpose baby. Everything I do is with your happiness in mind. I know how much my absence has been affecting you because waking up every morning without you next to me was like a fucking chore. It was just as bad for me as it was for you. God, if there’s anything I hate more than college-level calculus, it’s having to live without you—the reason for my existence. Give me your hand.” You did as you were told; placing your hand in his all the while blushing when he brought it up to his chest. 

“Feel that? It’s racing—I haven’t felt my heartbeat this fast since the night you told me you wanted to take a break. That had to be the worst night of my entire life baby. I couldn’t stop beating myself up about your disheartened facial expression when you told me I needed to get my act together. I just—I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I cried every single fucking day because I couldn’t stop thinking this was the end between us. I never ever want to go one day without you. I know—I’ve been a terrible boyfriend to you and I hope you know you didn’t deserve it at all y/n. There were days I wanted to quit my job because I hated it so much and because I’m so exhausted, but then I’d take a look at my phone screen with the picture I took of you that one morning when we had a food fight in the kitchen and you got peanut butter in your hair and all over your face and I just—it made me remember what I was doing it all for. It felt like forever that we got to do something fun like that—it’s been forever since I truly felt any ounce of happiness. I feel like I’m living, but not at all existing whenever I’m away from you. I know you told me not to regret my decision in choosing to go away for college, but I do. I regret choosing to ever be where you aren’t. Fuck, you don’t understand just how hard it was for me having to go back home that night thinking that you no longer wanted anything to do with me; and even if you said he was just a friend—that guy, whatever his stupid name is—“

“His name is Jaebeom—

“Yeah yeah—whatever. That obviously doesn’t matter. It’s my last name that you’re taking one day so I don’t care what his name or anybody else’s name is. I know you would never cheat on me or do anything to jeopardize our relationship, but seeing the two of you together really struck a nerve with me. I don’t know what he is to you, but I’m sure he must be someone meaningful to you for you to go to prom with him. I couldn’t stop thinking about how lucky he is to be around you all the time, how he gets to hear that vibrant and contagious laughter of yours, how he gets to see your radiant and breathtaking smile and how that should have been me being all cute and matching with you. How I should have been there, flaunting you off to everyone. God, you looked so beautiful that night y/n—but you looked so fucking sad when you looked at me. When I came back to New York, I didn’t want to do anything. At all. I called in sick from work, I took a break from baseball and I even missed a couple of classes but I couldn’t give less of a shit. I felt so empty—physically and mentally I felt numb. I wanted to call you; trust me when I say I found my fingers hovering over your contact many times. I continuously checked up on your social media to see how you were doing—if you were okay, if you were eating all your meals and getting some rest. If—if you were suffering without me the way I was with you. I’m nothing without you. Absolutely nothing.” 

He brought his thumb up to your cheek and gently brushed away a tear you didn’t even notice fall from your eyelids. You were well aware that Mark loved you more than you could even accept that you deserved. There were a couple of times you question his love for you; not hearing from him made you feel as though you weren’t as important to him and just that thought alone made you feel as if his love for you faltered. Hearing him confess to you what this past month has been like for him just confirmed that you meant a lot more to him than you felt you did. This break only made you realize that you could no longer be without him—you no longer wanted to put him through any more stress or sadness. 

“Damnit Mark—how do you—fuck—you have such a way with words. You’ve always have. I love you so, so much. More than I ever get around to telling you. I’m so sorry—don’t give me that look babe let me apologize. I should have tried harder to see how you were doing. I know being a student athlete is already so frustrating and I just felt like you didn’t need something else to worry about. I know you’re probably going to disagree and get mad at me for feeling this way, but I just felt like such a burden to you. You already have so many responsibilities, your relationship should be the least of your worries. As much as I love surprises, please Mark—I want you to be honest with me next time. We need to work on our communication. Don’t get me wrong, I am honestly so grateful that you got a job in order to make money to come and visit me and I apologize if you feel like it was a waste—if my reaction that night wasn’t the one you were expecting, but I just didn’t know how to react. I was genuinely happy to see you—or at least deep down I knew I was. My facial expression was the complete opposite—but it’s because I felt as though you were just so far away. You were right in front of me, yet I couldn’t recognize you. My mind couldn’t process that you were real—that you were actually there and not a figment of my silly imagination. Deciding to take a break took weeks to come to that decision. I couldn’t stop thinking that I was no longer a priority to you, so I just stopped trying entirely.” 

You found yourself wrapping your arms around his waist and released a soft sigh before smashing your cheek up against his chest. This was the first time in a long time that you actually felt genuinely content. Mark’s arms always made you feel so safe; so secure and so at ease. He didn’t hesitate to place his chin on the top of your head while tightening his already unyielding hold around your hips. 

“I missed you more than I can explain in words. I meant what I said Mark—I’ve loved you since I was eight years old. I’ve loved you before I even knew what love was and I’m going to love you, for as long as time permits me to. Forever, hopefully. You’re my best friend Mark. I don’t care what happens to me or where I end up in the future. As long as you’re right by my side, I’ll be living a life that I’ve always wanted—that people can only dream of experiencing. We’re going to be just fine my love.” He brought his hand down to your jaw and lifted up your chin so that you were making direct eye contact with him. “You got that right baby. How long do I have you for?”

“A little over a week.” He gave you a knowing look; his eyes were filled with mischief. You were well aware most of your time in New York was going to be spent showing him just how much you loved him and the idea sent warmth to both your chest and in between your thighs. 

“Stay right here, I’m going to have to text Jackson about finding a place to stay—“

“He’s already on it. He wants to give us our time to enjoy one another, just the two of us. In his words, he doesn’t want to miss out on his sleep because apparently you and I are going to be “too loud”. I have no idea what he’s talking about though. I have no intention on being noisy while I’m here—“ 

Mark was quick to lift you up and hoisted you on top of his left thigh; his movements were quick. Soon you were being thrown on top of his bed as he began leaving sloppy and all but gentle kisses all around your bare skin. He lowered himself on top of you, pressing his pelvis right on top of yours in attempts to let you know what he had planned for the both of you in just a few moments. 

“I went four months without making love to my beautiful baby. You know how many times I’ve found myself jacking off to photos of you? I miss when we used to have cyber sex—fuck why did we ever stop? I can still picturing you fingering yourself, pretending it was me. You looked so fucking sexy and although it wasn’t the same as when you suck me off or ride my cock like the professional cowgirl you are, I came in less than five minutes just hearing your breathless moans as you tried to get yourself off. Trust me when I say this, you won’t be getting any sightseeing completed at all while you’re here. I’m going to make sure your legs are practically jello once I show you just how much I’ve missed this perfect body of yours. I don’t know if Jackson told you, but we’re actually on probation for being loud because of BamBam and Yugyeom. I’m confident I’m going to get kicked out here with how loud I’m going to make you sing for me. I can’t wait to rail the shit out of you baby. This pussy is mine. You are mine. Now, sit back y/n and enjoy the ride.” 

Mark wasn’t lying when he said he had every intention on making sure you were immobile. The two of you relished in your love for hours; once you both came down from your highs after one round, the hunger and desire for one another was too strong to quit. You don’t think you’d be able to look in his fridge without remembering how he had you pressed right up against the cool metal, ramming himself inside of you from behind. Four hours later, you both decided to take a break. You had almost two weeks together; you didn’t want to practically be bedridden before you actually got the chance to really spend time exploring New York City together. 

“You never cease to amaze me you know that? Fuck, I could love on your body for the entire day if you’d let me. I guess not having me inside of you for so long made you even more tight. I think your boobies got bigger too—ow! Why do you always get so abusive every single time I appreciate these beautiful breasts of yours? If you’re going to be like this about your mounds, you should hear how obsessed I am with your vagina—“

“Say that word one more time and you won’t get anywhere near it for the rest of my stay.” 

He gave you the most adorable pout before pulling you on top of him. Even if the two of you had just finished having passionate and steamy sex, you could feel your cheeks warm up being pressed up against his bare and sweaty body. He left a wet kiss on the juncture of your neck and looked at you with so much love and adoration in his eyes. 

“I don’t know babe, i could’ve sworn you were begging me to bury my cock deeper inside of you and to eat you out like I mean it less than an hour ago. You’re just as much a nymphomaniac as I am. I honestly can just stay in bed with you for the rest of the evening and just do nothing if that’s alright with you. We could get cleaned up and order some take out. Or if you have even just a tiny bit of energy, we can go out for an hour or so and just enjoy each other’s company.” 

As much as you wanted to go exploring, it was just going to have to wait till tomorrow. You hid your face in the crook of his neck; trying to absorb as much of his warmth as possible before humming softly against his jaw. 

“Let’s stay in. I just want to enjoy this intimate moment with you as much as I can.” He smiled at you lovingly while he brought his fingers in to your hair. 

“I was hoping you’d say that. I want to take advantage of every moment you are naked—as much as I missed you, I don’t miss the hitting. Did you get stronger since the last time I saw you? You’re like bionic now.” 

You playfully rolled your eyes at his sarcasm and propped yourself on your elbows so that you could get a better look at him. Every time you would look at Mark, it amazed you just how much he changed physically since you first met him yet his childlike personality never faltered. If anything, he became more and more like a child as he got older.

“Mark.”

“Hm?”

“I’m going to marry you one day.” 

Knowing that he was the type to joke around a lot, you were expecting a “matter of a fact” kind of response. However, you weren’t expecting for him to pull you down and reconnect your lips together. Right as you could feel the fire building up in your bones with his feather like yet protective touch, he leaned away and looked up with you with a glint in his eye. 

“Hey—I’m the one supposed to be telling you that!” 

You yelped when he all but gently squeezed your butt. The thought of marrying the beautiful boy underneath you has been on your mind since the day he told you he had his mom take out the raisins from her oatmeal cookies because you weren’t a fan of them. Sometimes, your relationship felt too good to be true. Even if you hit a bump in the road, it only made you realize that no matter what were to happen between the two of you, your love for Mark and his love for you would never falter. He was everything in a significant other most girls could only dream about having in theirs. Mark Tuan was an ethereal being; his name was forever engraved on to your heart. 

“I don’t know when exactly—maybe when we’re just a little bit older, but I can’t wait to marry you y/n. You’ve had my heart for over a decade now—it’s yours for the next ten decades.”

“That’s a hundred years Mark. I don’t think either of us are going to live that long—“

“You always seem ruin such romantic moments. I’m telling you that I plan on loving you for the rest of my life. I said what I said my silly girl. You’re stuck with me forever.” 

You beamed up at his words and the two of you continued to lie there in silence; just basking in each other’s presence. To your dismay, Mark flipped your bodies so now he was on top of you but before you could say anything about this new position, you quickly picked up on his now furrowed brows and the way he looked as if he was deep in thought. 

“Hey, everything okay?” 

He gave you a sad smile and nodded hesitantly but you could tell something was obviously bothering him. Just a few moments ago, he was nipping at your jaw while grazing all too close to your core—and now he looked as if he was on the verge of breaking down. What exactly just so happened to pop in to his mind that was causing him so much distress. 

“Mark—we said we would work on our communication. I know something is bothering you. Talk to me baby.”

“It’s nothing really—well—God, I feel so stupid for having to ask you this. That Jaebeom kid, he uh—I wouldn’t be surprised if he did I mean look at you—but, he didn’t happen to have a crush on you did he?” 

Talking about Jaebeom was bound to happen sooner or later. Images of his angry expression when he saw the younger boy walk outside in attempts to look for you came rushing back like the night of prom was just yesterday. There was no doubt your boyfriend was a jealous person. You never understood where his jealousy came from; you never gave him a reason to be jealous nor did you think that you attracted anyone other than him until Jaebeom confessed his feelings for you. 

He would get extremely territorial whenever you would hang out with him and his friends. BamBam and Jackson were notorious for being a little too touchy for Mark’s liking when it came to you. Sometimes they would reach for your hand or interlock your arms together in order to get under his skin, but Mark never let them get away with it. You could still remember the way your heart soared when he told you that he was only jealous of other guys because he had a fear that one day, someone might walk in to your life and make you realize that there are more people in this world other than Mark that could get you feeling the way he thought only he was capable of. Your boyfriend was well aware that he was the one that you loved more than anyone else in your life—but it was only natural for his curiosity to get the best of him. 

“He did—he confessed to me right after he asked me to prom. I was quick to tell him I was in a relationship and he was very understanding about it.” 

Mark took in a deep breath and waited a couple of seconds before asking you the question that he’s been dying to know the answer to for the last month. 

“You uh—did you ever have feelings for him at one point? I won’t be mad; I mean, I’ve been absent. I’m sure spending time with someone and getting their attention could cause some feelings to develop. This question has been on my mind since that night. It’s not that I’m questioning your feelings for me—I know in my heart that you love me but I couldn’t find it in myself to stop thinking negatively.” 

A part of you wanted to lie in order to spare his feelings. He may have said he wouldn’t be mad if you were to tell him that yes—you had feelings for Jaebeom at one point or at least felt like you did; but this was Mark you were talking about. He would be devastated to hear that your heart wavered even just for a split second and you didn’t want to do that to him. The idea of hurting him sent a painful sensation to your chest. Mark was nothing less than perfect to you in all your years of knowing him for. 

These last few months might not have been ideal and honestly you could do without them, but at the same time—the turmoil was a blessing in disguise. Maybe the two of you needed this distance; this break in order to come to the acceptance that neither of you were going anywhere. However, the realist in you was well aware that there was no point in lying. 

For all you knew, Mark probably felt it in either his heart or his mind that you could have at least felt something towards Jaebeom. It wasn’t impossible; it was common for people in relationships to harbor feelings for someone else. Especially someone they’re close to and spend most of their time with. He hated the thought that you began liking Jaebeom more and more every day considering that your communication levels weren’t all that good. What person in their right mind would genuinely be okay with knowing that their significant other had someone else on their mind—someone that they saw almost every single day? Mark wasn’t too sure just how close the two of you were and he wasn’t too sure if he wanted to know. 

“At one point, yes. I did. But let me start off by saying this; just because I felt like I had some kind of feelings for him at one point doesn’t mean I loved you any less. Like you said, it could have been because he was giving me the attention I wasn’t receiving from you. He was taking care of me; he held me on the days that I cried because of school and our failing relationship. He’d buy me pastries if he saw that I wasn’t eating and he’d buy me coffee now and then—but I don’t have any romantic feelings for him. I guess I just really missed you; I missed you like fucking crazy Mark and for the time being, Jaebeom was helping me take my mind off of your absence. I will admit, I felt terrible when I told him I didn’t reciprocate his feelings only because he’s such an amazing friend, but no matter how kind he is, how much he cares for me or how attractive he is—“

“He wasn’t all that good looking honestly he was a solid three on a scale from one to ten you’re just saying that to make me jealous—“ You brought your hand up to his mouth in order to silence him but he licked a stripe along your skin. 

“Will you stop interrupting me? I’m trying to tell you that there’s nobody else for me but you asshole. I’m too blinded by the love I have for you to even look or think about anybody else. Jaebeom is an amazing friend, but that is all he’s ever going to be to me. You consumed every single part of me; like the ocean. I feel like I’m drowning in your love, but I never want to be saved. I just want to keep losing myself in you and the love you have for me. I’m honestly so glad Jackson is a very considerate friend—I got horny just thinking about how much I love you.” 

His laughter immediately filled up the room; a sound you were going to take advantage of for the next week and a half. It wasn’t the same hearing it through a screen—it was much more vibrant and full of excitement and it made your tummy swarm with butterflies. 

“You’re insatiable, what am I going to do with you?”

“Anything you want to.”

When the two of you were finally done making up for lost time up against almost every surface in his dorm, you finally gave in and tapped out. You could feel your eyes closing and sleep was right around the corner ready to take over you completely. 

“Should I start ordering us some food?” You slowly shook your head and made yourself comfortable pressed up against his chest. He began leaving soft kisses in your hair while dragging his fingers along the expanse of your back. 

“I’m so tired. I think the jet lag is catching up to me.”

“No, I think it’s the six hours of nonstop sex we just accomplished. But that’s fine—maybe I’ll wake up earlier and prepare you some breakfast in bed. Or, I can have you for breakfast in bed—almost ten years of this abuse you would think I would know when to prepare myself. Mmm—I love you y/n, I’m so fucking happy you’re here. Thank you for coming back to me.” 

In the two weeks that you were in New York for, Mark took you to almost every single place you’ve been wanting to go to. You didn’t think you were capable of walking so many miles; especially since you were sore practically every single day. Mark wasn’t lying when he said he planned on having you each day you were there for. On the days he had work or practice, you’d stay back at his apartment and just watch a couple of movies or play some video games on his Xbox. Sometimes you would go around with Jackson; sightseeing and shopping for some gifts to bring back home. 

When Mark finished his duties or on the days he was off, he would take you exploring throughout the city, showing you everything New York had to offer. He made sure to keep you energized by purchasing you coffee right before the two of you were to return back to his apartment. He didn’t know when the next time he was going to see you would be, so he wanted to make every moment with you count—even if that meant having to stay up till the wee hours of the morning to have him blow your back out. 

Unfortunately, just like the last time you were in New York, your visit was quick to end just as immediate as it was to arrive. 24 hours seemed to fly by in a matter of minutes any time it was spent with Mark yet they seemed to drag on whenever the two of you were apart. The tears wouldn’t stop falling from your face when he brought you to the airport. He held you close to his body and placed his head against yours as he tried his best to keep your cries soft—not wanting to bother the cab driver. 

He was also secretly tearing up himself; he had one of the best weeks of his life with you and now he had to let you go again. If he had the choice, he’d be heading back to California with you permanently. It was selfish of him, but he even contemplated on hiding your luggage or even stealing your plane ticket so that you’d have no choice but to stay with him. Once the driver pulled up to the airport, he helped you take your luggage from out of the trunk while you and Mark said your goodbyes to each other. 

“Hey—baby, we’re going to be just fine. I mean it this time. I’m gonna do better for you. I don’t care how tired I am—hell, you’re probably going to get tired of my constant phone calls and text messages but I promise you that I’m going to do my best to make sure to put in just as much effort in to this relationship as you do. I know how it feels to lose you and fuck, I never want to feel something so painful like that ever again. I don’t know how long I’ll be able to go without having you with me—so expect me to come make a trip to visit you here soon. I love you y/n—God, I can’t even describe to you just how much I love you. Love isn’t even a good enough word to describe what I feel for you—what you mean to me. Fuck, I’m going to miss you so much. Let me know as soon you land and when you get home please? Take good care of yourself and I expect at least three nudes a day—fine two—y/n I’m trying to lighten the mood you know I hate seeing you so sad—I also hate not getting to show my love and appreciation for your perfect body—just wait till I get my hands on you next time I won’t go easy on you. I’ll see you soon baby. I love you.” 

Leaving Mark was always the hardest thing you had to do other than getting used to looking through a computer and phone screen to see him when you just had him around physically to hold to and to kiss you. He kept his promise in working on and bettering his communication with you. Everything slowly started falling in place for you and you were more than happy with how your relationship was going. Mark made a few trips to California during his downtime. 

Although most of his time was spent going on cute little dates with you and just spending quality time together, he did meet up with some of his friends from high school to catch up and made sure to visit his parents a couple of times. He even asked to meet Jaebeom properly; he wanted to apologize for being such an ass towards him on the night of your junior prom and he wanted to thank him for taking care of you while he was away. Mark still was trying to accept the idea of your friendship with Jaebeom, but he trusted you with every fiber of his being. 

You were surprised that it didn’t take either of them too long to find some common ground; their main purpose both being your well-being and your happiness was something they had in common. Mark actually found it quite interesting that Jaebeom was a dancer and they went back and forth about their passion for crime investigation documentaries. It wasn’t something that happened overnight; Jaebeom was still upset with Mark for being the reason behind your tears, but he was well aware that it wasn’t his business to get involved in. 

At the end of the day, you were just grateful that Mark accepted your friendship with Jaebeom for what it was because you knew you would of fell apart in these last few months if it weren’t for him. Everyone in your life—your boyfriend, your parents, your teachers and some of your friends who have graduated never failed to remind you that senior year would practically flash before your eyes. It had to be the best year of your educational career so far; there were so many different activities for seniors to participate in which Jaebeom coerced you in to doing a lot of things you would have never saw yourself signing up for. Flag football, tug-of-war, paintball, spirit week, homecoming; you were never one to find yourself in a situation where you’d get involved in school activities, but it was your last year in high school and you wanted to make the most of it. 

At one point, you didn’t care about anything other than wanting to hurry up and graduate already. You didn’t want to be the kind of person to make a decision for your life based on your significant other, but you wanted to be with Mark. He was definitely speechless when you told him you applied to the university of New York—only because he didn’t want you to feel like you had to do that for him, even if deep down he was secretly hoping you would. The university was amazing nonetheless, but your boyfriend knew there were many other colleges that had better programs for the field you were interested in joining. However, he was extremely thrilled and very outspoken about how excited he was when you opened the letter of acceptance in to the university. 

Right after you received the letter, you and Mark began planning on how he would let Jackson down gently about having to move out. As much as you couldn’t wait to finally get to have him around, you didn’t want to kick Jackson out of their dorm. It was just as much his place as it was Mark’s. That’s when you came up with the idea to move in to an apartment together. It was still a few months away, but Mark couldn’t keep in his excitement at the thought of waking up to your beautiful face every morning and getting to go to bed every night with you wrapped in his embrace. 

He began the search of apartments in the area of the university so that it would be easier for the both of you to walk rather than to waste money on transportation. The months came and went; studying for tests on top of working almost every day in order to save up for after graduation took up most of your time. Mark was very good about calling you right before he’d head out for school or once he arrived back after work or practice. It was hard to believe that you ever questioned his love for you seeing as how he could not stop reminding you that he couldn’t wait to spend forever with you. 

The last month of your senior year arrived before you could even comprehend that you were only a month away from becoming a high school graduate—and so did your boyfriend. Although you told him time and time again that you would prefer he didn’t surprise you, your soul practically left your body when you returned home from work one day to find him sitting on your bed like it was the most normal thing in the world. 

“Mark, babe what the fuck are you doing here?” 

You wasted no time in throwing yourself at him and bringing your lips to his. Tonight in particular was one of the most stressful days at work you had so far and all you really wanted to do was change out of your clothes and go to sleep. Seeing Mark only broke you out of your exhaustion and the huge grin that rose on your face didn’t seem as if it was going to falter at all any time soon. 

“Did you really think I would let you go to prom with someone else other than me again? Did I not tell you how badly I wanted to rip that dress off of you and how extremely lethal you looked in it? I want to be the one to experience your magical night with you—and trust me, it’ll be even more magical once we head back to the hotel room right after—it’s like you live to torture me and not in the ways I’d prefer you would.” He began rubbing the side of his shoulder where you gently shoved him before playfully pinching your cheek. 

“Anyways, I already bought a tux, you just have to tell me what color tie to get. Oh—and I’m here till the end of summer baby, so I’ll be here to watch you graduate and I’ll be here to help you get all your things ready for New York. I still can’t completely process that I get to go back to school with you alongside of me. I’m so fucking happy, you don’t understand—and we get to live together. You know what that means.” He began to wiggle his brows and you couldn’t help but laugh at his nonchalant hint towards the activities he had in mind once you started living together. 

“Hey, I’m coming to New York for college, not to focus specifically on our sex life—“

“I know that babe, but making love to you is my favorite past time and now we’re going to have more chances in doing so—“

“You know Mark, I think there’s still some time left for me to accept UCLA—“

“You wouldn’t dare. You miss me just as much as I miss you—I meant it more than sexually. I just really can’t wait to have you around more often. There are days that are so shitty for me sometimes and all I want to do is have you hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay. We’re going to get a sneak peak at what the rest of our lives together is going to be like and I can’t wait to share that experience together with you. Now, if you’d be ever so kind, I travelled all the way here to be with you. The least you can do is show me some hospitality and maybe suck me dry? Don’t look at me like that babe IT’S BEEN THREE MONTHS.” 

You continued to keep the facade that you weren’t in the mood to do anything just to mess with him—although you were tired, Mark just had that effect on you. If you were ready for bed right as you were coming home, you were now ready to do whatever it was he asked of you. Since your parents were right downstairs, the both of you had to do your best to get reacquainted with one another as quietly as possible. For a little over two hours, you and your boyfriend experimented in different positions; his lips and tongue mapped its territory all along your breasts, neck, thighs, waist and right above your soaking entrance. It was honestly quite the task trying to keep your moans at bay; especially because your love making sessions only became more vocal the longer the two of you were away from each other. 

“I’ve missed you.” He pulled you on top of him once you both came down from your highs and left a wet kiss right below your ear. 

“I’ve missed you more. I still can’t believe you’re here and I get to have you for until I leave.” 

The rest of your evening was spent updating each other on what’s been going on in both of your lives until he fell asleep. For the rest of that week, he followed you around like a lost puppy on the days that you weren’t at work or school. You were sure most people would get tired of the clinginess and the fact that he always wanted to be with you, but it was something you genuinely enjoyed. Not once did you ever not want Mark around you—in fact you were just as tenacious when it came to him. 

Mark was more than happy to be home this time around; all his friends were also home for the summer and it felt like to good old times for him. Before you could even think about how many days you had left until graduation, senior prom came in the blink of an eye. Mark looked as handsome as ever; his hair was slicked back in a way you weren’t used to, but you knew you were going to nag him in to styling it like this all the time. He also looked very classy in his tux and you couldn’t help but laugh at the idea that his dad probably had to help him out with his tie. Your boyfriend was twenty-years-old yet he still had no clue how to fold a tie all that well. 

“Baby, I can’t get over how fucking beautiful you are. God, I can’t stop staring at you. You’re giving all of your classmates here a run for their money.” 

The night went by quicker than you would have liked; but that was because it was so much fun. Mark, like he always seemed to be was nothing short of a perfect gentleman. He made sure your night was going well by taking care of you like it was his life duty. Whenever you wanted to go talk with some of your friends at their tables, or if you had to use the bathroom, he held your things—when it got cold in the ballroom, he placed his suit jacket on your shoulders. He brought you out to the dance floor even against your many pleas because he wanted to make sure you had the time of your life. As he spun you around ever so lightly and placed his chin on your forehead, you knew that night was one of the best nights of your entire life. 

“You know the next time I’ll get to have you like this—looking effortlessly stunning and dancing with you like we’re the only two people here, you’ll be Mrs.Mark Tuan.” 

You couldn’t feel warmth fill up your entire body; his words sent fire to your bones and the thought of getting to marry him never failed to make you blush like a school girl who was approached by her crush. You looked up at him and stole a sweet kiss from the corner of his mouth before hiding your face in the crook of his neck. 

“I’ll be waiting patiently for that day, but just know—I can’t wait.” 

As soon as prom was finished, your boyfriend carried you bridal style up to the hotel room he rented for the both of you with the idea of showing you exactly what torture you caused him looking as “sexy” and “otherworldly” as you did that night. 

Graduation came less than two weeks later and as much as you couldn’t wait to finally move on to the next chapter of your life, you’d be lying if you said you weren’t going to miss being in high school. Just like most boyfriends would in order to embarrass their girlfriends; Mark had an entire banner made for you and assigned all of his friends to hold it up for you during the ceremony and afterwards while waiting for you to walk out on the field. 

You tried your best to stifle back a laugh at how crooked it was; Yugyeom practically towered over his older friends and it only made this event all the more memorable. Right as your principal called your name, gave you your honors chords and your certificate, you could hear your name being shouted from the back of the auditorium and you were sure you would melt on the spot seeing your boyfriend look at you as if you were the most ethereal goddess to exist. Unlike all of your other classmates who stayed a little while to talk to each other about their plans after high school, you made a beeline to where you knew your boyfriend, family and friends were waiting to congratulate you. 

“There’s my beautiful college graduate. You’re glowing baby. I’m so happy for you.” He pulled you in to a tight hug but before he could even kiss you, you were being yanked in every other direction by your family. 

“My youngest baby is a high school graduate and now she’s going off to college. You know y/n, there are many amazing colleges here in California. You can save your money and continue living with your father and I—“ You felt Mark wrap his hand around your waist as he took his place right next to you. He got along really well with your parents. Sometimes you felt as if they preferred him over you only because he knew the exact words to say to flatter your mom and to impress your dad. They were very good in treating him like family. However, you could tell by the tight grip that he wasn’t too fond of what your mom was trying to talk you in to doing. 

“Don’t worry Mrs.y/l/n, your daughter is in good hands. She always has been and always will be. I’ll take good care of her, I promise.” 

After saying your goodbyes to all of your relatives who flew down just to be there for your graduation, you made your way back towards Mark and his friends. BamBam and Yugyeom picked you up and spun you around while Jackson and Jinyoung pulled you against their chests and ruffled with your hair. 

“Finally! You get to come up and experience what college is actually like—that’s if lover boy here ever let’s you come out with us.”

“In your dreams losers. You got me in trouble twice for shit I didn’t even do. I’m not letting you corrupt my sweet, innocent girlfriend—“

“Y/n? Innocent? Hahaha! Don’t make us laugh. Y/n is the furthest thing from innocent. My ears are still so sore from all her screams and moans that one night I came back to our dorm to pick up some clothes while she was there. By the way, as much as I like you y/n, I’m not all that happy you’re stealing my roommate. I hope Mark knows that I should get ultimate dibs on being his best man because of it. Speaking of which, did you finally get around to asking her—ah, asking her about the color to paint your room. I think we should get going now guys, let’s allow these two lovebirds to celebrate on their own. Congratulations again y/n!” 

You’ve known Mark’s friends for quite some time now; Jackson knew something that he wasn’t supposed to tell you. The five of them were never good with keeping secrets nor were they ever good at telling lies. You didn’t have to look at Mark to know he wasn’t all too happy with Jackson; nor did you want to aggravate him even more by asking him the many questions that were on your mind. The main question being what exactly did he have yet to get around asking you? 

You knew it wasn’t just a question about your soon to be apartment together and you now you were dying to know exactly what Jackson was referring to. Oh well, it was just going to have to wait till you could find a time that Mark wasn’t around for you to ask. Summer was always your favorite season; there was so much for you to do. You decided to take a break from work in order to spend as much time with your family before having to move to New York. 

Most days, you and Mark would go around California; heading to all your favorite places together and even finding new places to make memories at. You also made sure to save some time to spend with Jaebeom seeing as how you were both going your separate ways. As much as he loved America, he missed his friends and family back in Korea. These last two years were meant specifically for him to learn English and to pick up on American culture. You knew you were going to do your best with keeping in touch with him. 

Out of all your friends, Jaebeom was one you saw being in your life for a very long time. Your relationship with your parents also grew stronger; mainly because it was just the three of you now and soon it was just going to be the two of them. To your dismay, when you got to hang out with Mark’s friends again and even when you got Jackson alone, he pretended as if he had no clue what you were talking about when you asked him what he meant back at your graduation. 

The truth was going to come out sooner or later, so you were just going to have to wait—no matter how much the curiosity was eating away at you. May, June and July never seemed to fly as quickly as they did but before you knew it, you were packing away everything you needed for college. Deep down, you were sad knowing that you were moving out of the house. You’ve been around your parents for your entire life, you weren’t sure if you were ready to live without them. Hell, your mom still made your appointments for you and even when you were to move thousands of miles away, you were sure she’d still be taking care of your responsibilities for you. 

“Make sure to call me as soon as you land. And please, call me at least five times a day. Remember, you can can always come back home—“

“Mom—“

“If you ever need me I can fly up there and—“

“Mom—“

“Even if you need to take a break, I am totally fine with you taking a year off—“

“Mom, I’ll be fine. I’m in good hands, remember?” 

You turned to look at your boyfriend putting your luggage in the back of his truck and returned his smile when he caught you looking at him. Tears started to build up at your eyelids as you looked at your mom trying her best to fight back her tears. 

“I’ll always be your little girl, don’t ever forget that. College will go by faster than we think and Mark and I plan on returning back to California once I graduate. It’s not goodbye mom, it’s just a see you later. Please take care of yourself. I love you so much.” 

Saying goodbye to your parents was harder than you thought it would be. In fact, your boyfriend had to pull to the side in order to console you and comfort you as you cried. He left gentle kisses on your forehead while he ran his hands through your hair. It didn’t take long for you to calm down, especially because Mark was really good in giving you time to let it all out before reminding you that everything was going to be okay. You were reminded of how hard it must have been for him having to leave two years ago, but now you were finally going to be together permanently. 

Mark’s touch was so comforting; you could tell he wanted to be there for you yet he also wanted to give you some space. He did everything for the both of you; brought both his and your luggage’s to security and got them checked in, found your gate and had you sit down so he could go purchase some snacks for the ride. You didn’t realize just how tired you were until you knocked out only minutes after getting settled on the plane. This meant that you weren’t able to see the way Mark was looking at you so adoringly; but it’s not something you weren’t used to. He looked at you that way all the time. You felt a gentle push on your shoulder and a few wet kisses scatter along your face and you had a feeling Mark was trying to wake you up. 

“Baby, time to get up. We’re here.” 

A huge part of you was still pretty sad that you were no longer in California, but the hand that was tightly holding yours as you were being guided through the airport reminded you as to why you were doing this. Looking at Mark right now; you never felt more at home than you did at this moment. It didn’t matter where you were, your heart was always so full having him with you. The first couple of weeks were the hardest. Getting settled in to your new apartment was a foreign feeling. Mark actually had everything set up for the both of you before he even left for California. 

You were very grateful that he was so patient and understanding with you; but it didn’t take long for you to get used to New York City and living with your boyfriend. It was actually everything you could ever hope it would be. He allowed you to make the decisions on how you wanted the place to look like. 

The apartment was shockingly very spacious; and he actually had purchased quite a lot of furniture. You were shocked to see just how nice the place actually was—you didn’t think Mark was capable of being an interior designer, but you decided to keep the place looking the way it did. Your bedroom had to be your favorite place in the unit, he had a couple of photos of the two of you scattered throughout the room and separated both your sides of the closet and on the bathroom sink. 

He put so much effort in to making sure you were content and it only made your feelings for the older boy grow stronger if it was even possible. College wasn’t at all what you were expecting it to be and you were silently cursing all of Mark’s friends for telling you that it was such a fun experience. Mark introduced you to a couple of his teammates and a few friends he’s made in the last two years while giving you a tour of the campus and showing you where your classes were. You ended up getting a job at your school’s library in order to help Mark pay for the rent and other necessities. 

Even if it was just your first year in college, there were days you would find yourself crying because of how strenuous the work load was on top of having to work. There were also days where Mark was constantly at work, practice or school and you didn’t want to put even more stress on him knowing how exhausted he would be whenever he’d come home. 

One night, he texted you saying he would be coming home late in order to pick up this week’a groceries. You didn’t think much of it; although, normally the two of you would go together so that you both could get the things you either needed or simply just wanted. Your boyfriend also had a bad habit of buying a bunch of unnecessary items he never needed, so you tried your best to make sure you’d be there with him. But this week, you’ve been picking up a lot of late night shifts and Mark could tell the last thing you wanted to do was go grocery shopping, no matter how much you enjoyed doing something so domestic with him. 

When you reached your apartment, you saw his shoes in the cubby hole and his backpack by the counter—so you knew he was home. Everything seemed put away; you checked the fridge and all the shelves were filled with different kinds of food and drinks. He also got the essentials; dishwashing liquid, laundry soap, dryer sheets, shampoo and conditioner. Something didn’t feel right though; normally, he would be out in the living room playing video games or doing his work at the dining table. 

Maybe he was tired; you still couldn’t understand how he could manage five classes a week, playing sports for hours on end and going straight to work right after only to come home like he had all the energy in the world. Right as you were about to look around for him, you saw a crumpled paper in the corner of your eye which you assumed to be the receipt. 

Curiosity got the best of you—he always paid for the groceries no matter how many times you’d tell him to split the bill. In fact, he would pay for pretty much anything and told you to save your money to buy things you wanted to. It was hard accepting the fact that he did all of this for you—sacrificed so much for you because he loved you with his entire being only because you didn’t feel like you deserved any of it. If anything, he was the one who deserved so much more than what you could give him. When you scanned the receipt, everything seemed perfectly normal—he purchased every item the two of you would normally buy. 

However, towards the bottom of the list you saw something that made you confused, yet you let out a little giggle. 

“Mark!” You began walking towards your bedroom in the hopes of getting an explanation as to why he felt the need to buy his favorite cookies in bulk. 

“Babe, I know you love nutter butter, but eight packages? Are you preparing for an apocalypse or something—oh my God.” 

Your question was answered as soon as you opened the door. There, in all of his devastatingly handsome glory, your boyfriend of ten years, down on one knee with a red box in his hand and a tray of nutter butter on the bed spelling out the words “will you marry me?” There were roses scattered all over the ground and candles spread throughout the room. Your heart was racing faster that it ever has in your entire life. 

“Mark—“

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

The smile on his face was barely reaching his eyes and you could tell it was because he was nervous. He was shaking and he looked like he was on the verge of throwing up; you couldn’t understand why though. Sure, marriage proposals were always so nerve wrecking, but he should already know the answer. You slowly walked toward him and gently kneeled to his level while cupping his cheeks in your hands. 

“I know this isn’t as romantic as you probably would have wanted it to be. Trust me, I planned out many different scenarios about how this was going to pan out. The guys told me to take you to a beach, or a fancy restaurant but I thought this would be more meaningful. I mean, I realized you were someone special to me when I shared my nutter butter with you over thirteen years ago. You know you are the only person I would do such a thing for—you’re the only person I’d do anything for. I’d give you my kidney if you needed it. I know—we’re still so young to be getting married, but I just couldn’t wait anymore. I’ve been in love with you before I even knew what the word love meant. I’d tell my parents I loved them; I told each and every one of my siblings that I loved them—but with you, it was a different kind of love. It was the kind of love that—I don’t know, my heart always felt so happy and so full every minute I spent with you. You showed me what love is—you made me feel loved and cared for in ways that I don’t think I could ever be able to thank you for doing. You are the most beautiful, funny, charismatic, intelligent, wonderful and honestly perfect human being to walk this earth. God—I can’t even—I’m so fucking in love with you. We’ve had a few ups and downs, but it only made me realize that you are the only person I want to go through hell and back with. You and I are soulmates baby, there’s no doubt about it. I’ve been blessed to have you in my life for almost fifteen years now and I can’t wait to spend an eternity with you. Y/n, will you do the amazing honor and continue to make me the happiest man on earth by marrying me?”

[gingus-doon]

For AUs... How about an AU where Keiji and Megumi both survive the First Trial? I'd like your take on that :)

you have opened pandora's box! i hope you're prepared to read a whole ass essay JSHDKABD

BUT SERIOUSLY TY THIS IS SO INTERESTING!! i saw your post on this already and commented on it then (in the tags ofc JGVKDDJDJ), bUT that was the meta of yours that inspired me to think that, maybe, keiji wouldn't be the way he is without that particular first trial and its outcome..? so i'll be operating under that assumption for these scenarios, so as not to feed a fed horse! (as peta would say,)

this does seem like quite the task, considering that it would require both conceptualizing megumi when we have minimal information about her, and reconceptualizing keiji to the keiji before the death game, when we also have minimal information on how he thinks in general... (and his characterization in this is all based on a theory to begin with, so it's not the most steady foundation lol)

of course, their first trial would need to be something else for this au… to keep things simple, it'd be best if it was neutral– neither him saving or not saving megumi, to neither restore nor forsake his faith in himself. megumi saving him would probably leave some positive impression of her on him too, so a trial which includes none of those things would be mosy fitting. but the trial itself isn't what's interesting, so i won't go into it further djdksbdk.

assuming they don't have a trial together, they'd meet each other the first time with everyone else-- i'm sure megumi would recognize keiji after the initial shock of how different he looks. and even if keiji tried to distance himself from her, she'd mention she knows keiji right away. i do think she'd have quite a bit of logic in her, but not an unsympathetic amount! however, she has been shown to throw morality to the wind when protecting keiji in the past (though asunaro may have been involved in the coverup in ways we don't yet know), so i think she'd do something similar here. she'd say she knows him and possibly that he's a police officer to solidify his standings amongst the other participants, assuming that keiji doesn't lie for himself first.

speaking of what keiji would do… so, i'm reconceptualizing him as more solemn and maybe a bit less guarded? however, it's also important to keep some level of his chill with his stupid grin and avoidance, because that constitutes a large part of how he copes with his trauma. a keiji wrestling between solemn genuineness and avoidant nonchalance, protector and sacrificer, logic and emotion! a mid-way between the two extremes of before the shooting and during the normal death game. definitely more stoic, though… less smiley but not brooding either. i think a more stoic, perhaps more reserved personality pre-death game would make a lot of sense for keiji, considering that he has absolutely no friends.

BUT ANYWAY!! back to what i was saying– i think megumi would lie in keiji's favour, because she wants to get him out of there alive (sympathetic megumi ftw!) but she may hold it over his head a bit, if only to keep him in line with her plans by means of guilt. it's worth it, though, if she can make up for what happened with the shooting– really, she couldn't believe it when she saw keiji! after he quit, i bet they'd barely seen each other since. the bags under his eyes make his face look so gaunt and haunted compared to how he was when he was a kid…

she still treats him like a kid, too. they slowly fall into the mentor-pupil relationship again they had before, by habit, like ancient cogs beginning to turn for the first time in years. but, this isn't all easygoing, of course.

i don't think megumi would apologise for the coverup. at least, not right away. she seemed very keen on ignoring it back when the shooting happened, so despite any guilt she'd have around the incident, she doesn't bring it up. keiji's somewhat content to keep it that way as well, considering that facing what he did would shatter him. but being with megumi is like facing the shooting… i'm sure being with her like that would bring up bad memories and relight slumbering resentment. he'd eventually want an apology, an explanation, something… how soon "eventually," would be, though, i'm not sure. especially considering that keiji wants to survive, and megumi will help him do that.

though, i think keiji's will to live in this scenario would be a little weaker, oddly enough. because when he kills megumi, that plunges him into the confirmation of himself as a sinner-- he has more to run from, and if he's killed two people now for the sake of his well-being (first because he feared for his life, second in hopes of being rid of his trauma), why not do it again? he's not going to dwell on it anyway, he's not going to look…

but keiji in this scenario is wrestling with himself. he'd still like to be a protector. maybe… it's still possible? maybe he's not damned just yet? maybe there's worth in sacrificing his life for the more vulnerable.

and that internal conflict could potentially clash harshly against megumi's goals of getting them out alive by any means necessary. she's not malicious, and she wouldn't try to get someone killed for the fuck of it, but when it comes down to it, she's just there for them.

i do think megumi would feel guilty for the children, though… gin and kanna are so young. sara is so bright-eyed and clever, it almost reminds her of what keiji was like back then… but she's willing to shoulder the guilt of murder for keiji this time, if only to finally atone for what she did to him and to save herself as well.

there's a few ways this could go though!! i have about four. 1) megumi is ruthlessly logical as keiji is in the actual game, and keiji goes along with it for the sake of his own survival. they end up being the sole survivors of the death game; keiji hates megumi and is entirely broken // 2) same as the last one except the rest of them thwart megumi and keiji's evil plans and maybe keiji and / or megumi die.. :v // 3) megumi is still ruthlessly logical BUT keiji's resentment of megumi and his morals push him away from her and he works against her to protect everyone // 4) megumi starts out logically, but noticing how keiji has changed as a result of his trauma and how cold he's become (she can see the same strains of her "forget morality, save yourself" logic in him and some of his decisions) she decides to let herself fall to emotion and either sacrifices herself for keiji or someone else.

and, some misc. things i didn't get to mention above....!!

i REALLY loved your idea of megumi being team mom. with the above in mind, it's exactly parallel to keiji's role in the normal death game! a should-be protector wracked by guilt who abuses their power regardless. and to think of keiji potentially taking on the role of the abuser while also possibly being one of the vulnerable underneath the force of that power… it's just really interesting!

depressing parallels aside though, i think megumi would be a nice sensible mom figure for this group of idiots sjfhddj. maybe a little blunt or initially distant, but ultimately caring.

as for her role in a wider sense, i think megumi would actually be more trustworthy than keiji is in the normal death game. although she has the disadvantage of sexism working against her, she's actually in a police outfit and lacks the shady appearance. i'm certain she could conduct herself in a way that would garner everyone's trust-- she wouldn't have any questions she needed to dodge like keiji in the main game, unless keiji brought up the shooting, but even then, that's much less severe than murder. there wouldn't be any creepy flirting with her either, not only because there's no questions to dodge in the first place, but i think she'd opt to use her authority to harshly shut down any opposition, like she did with keiji after the shooting. and when that fails, she'd fall back on logical and / or manipulative rebuttals. i also think a large part of why nao and reko specifically don't like keiji is because he's a man! a creepy man at that, and that feeling really is justified, but the point is that megumi's a woman, a respectable woman, so they wouldn't have the same qualms with her. she could also prove herself to be a more capable leader than sara, being older and still having a cool head. she'd very much come off as a reliable leader if she tried to, i think.

but back to happier things!! i think keiji would take on a less authoritative role if under megumi's wing. it's hard to say exactly how his role would change, considering that we don't know if keiji saw the percentage papers normally, and if he did in this au, would megumi as well and would they both try to cling onto sara for survival's sake? BUT i'm not going to get into that, i just want to say that i think it'd be neat if keiji took up an older brother position to in group! kind of the same as the normal death game, except he has less control over what the group does and is more on the same standings as the other participants. i think he'd get closer to being a genuine protector in this scenario, fail sooner at his attempts to avoid emotional attachments to the other participants, and i also think he'd do a lot less of the creepy flirting!! because really, the only reason he did that anyway was to dodge questions, and that'd be a lot less necessary if 1) he had dependable megumi vouching for him from the beginning, therefore making him less suspicious to the others // 2) megumi's death would no longer be a topic of concern cos it didn't happen! // 3) if someone attempted to dig up info about his past or something of the sort, something that could get in the way of the group's trust of him and therefore keiji and megumi's chances of survival, megumi could likely shut it down as she has a good reputation amongst the group. besides, the only one who would say shit like that is shin, and people don't trust him very much anyways sjfjsbfnd.

i think keiji and sara would potentially have a less manipulative and more wholesome friendship in this au ahhh ;<;

as much as a manipulative dick megumi is to keiji in this au, she gets softer when his hallucinations seem to be affecting him more, or when he has nightmares. (CAN YOU TELL I'M A SUCKER FOR FLAWED BUT GENUINE MENTORSHIPS YET)

i've started to become STAUNCHLY AGAINST the notion that keiji killed megumi maliciously or that he would kill megumi maliciously!! because logically, it'd probably be more beneficial to have such a trustworthy ally in the death game (maybe not trustworthy to him, but to everyone else) and emotionally, I JUST THINK THEY'D HAVE BEEN CLOSE BEFORE OKAY AND I DON'T LIKE THE IDEA THAT HE'D KILL HER 😭😭 (that's more my emotions than his LOL, but i think it's so important that megumi's murder was an inactive murder that keiji was unsure of to the moment it happened and beyond!! you could say his angst about killing megumi during the 2nd main game is more about him killing another person, regardless of whether or not it was megumi, BUT i like to think the fact that it was megumi SPECIFICALLY was significant to him.) so that's why throughout i haven't really entertained the idea of him trying to kill her or anything like that, especially considering the theory i'm weaving this au under, which dictates keiji would likely be a lil softer + more emotional :>

CONSIDER,,, in that scenario i posed where megumi sacrifices herself for someone / keiji: while she's dying or before her death, she hugs keiji and tells him she's sorry, it wasn't his fault. no one's ever told him this before because he's refused to talk about what happened with anyone after her dismissal of it. after she says that, though, it feels as though he's let out a breath he's been holding for years and some of the weight of the shooting is finally gone.

that's all i can think to say at the moment, SO… to sum things up– a tl;dr, if you will--

(i never actually watched this show so pls don't kill me if the casting choices are weird 😭😭)

i hope this wasn't too derivative of yours or too horribly self indulgent to read LOL. this wasn't nearly as thorough as i could've been, but it might've been a bit much to consider more branching paths ajdbsns. thank you for letting me rant about keiji and megumi, i was thinking about them earlier today so it's nice to be given a chance to ramble about them again!!

[creepercraftguy]

I decided I wanted to try one of those DR Ask meme’s, but I decided to do it a little differently and I’m just gonna answer all the questions.

This one is made by @muzumi-san but I didn’t repost theirs because I don’t want them to directly see my shitty opinions.

1. Favourite game?

Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair. It just had the best characters, best plot twists and best trials in my opinion.

2. Favourite Protagonist?

It depends. If it’s in terms of writing, Shuichi. Otherwise, it’s either Hajime, or Kaede.

3. Favourite antagonistic character?

Kokichi is my favorite in general of the three, but as an antagonist, I like Nagito more.

4. Favourite character?

Kokichi Ouma. I know, he’s a fan favorite and you’re probably sick of hearing him get talked about, but dude, he’s just great.

5. Best girl?

Mahiru Koizumi.

6. Best boy?

Gonta Gokuhara or Gundham Tanaka.

7. Favourite class trial from all the games?

For Game 1, it’s Case 2. I love the twists and use of the Red Herring aspect in regards to the locker room. For Game 2, Case 4 is my favourite, but Case 5 is the better one in terms of mystery. For Game 3, Case 4. The fact you have to rely on video game logic to solve the case is really neat.

8. Least favourite character?

Without a doubt, Yasuhiro Hagakure, for several reasons that I’ve stated previously.

9. Least favourite class trial?

Game 3, Case 3. That whole case was just bullshit after Bullshit.

10. What would be your Ultimate Title?

Ultimate Animator, like Mitarai, but you know...Better.

11. Favourite cast?

As I’ve already mentioned, Danganronpa 2. My least favorite member of that cast is Akane, but even her, and the more disliked characters like Teruteru and Hiyoko, I love all of them. They’re all great.

12. Favourite Danganronpa 3 character?

Seiko Kimura. She’s such a fun character who I think deserved better.

13. What’s your opinion on the Danganronpa 3 anime?

I fucking hate it. The only episodes of it that I actually consider to be good, are the first two episodes of Despair Arc, and the final episode. The characters and cast genuinely piss me off half the time, especially Juzo, Munakata and Ruruka, and the writing was just generally shit throughout the entire thing.

14. What do you think about Danganonpa 1 anime?

I actually think it’s alright. Video Game anime’s tend to not be as good as the games (unless it’s Persona 4′s animation, which was actually awesome) and the same goes for Danganronpa. The game is generally more enjoyable than the anime, but the anime wasn’t bad all things considered.

15. Your absolute OTP?

SAI-MAT-SU! SAI-MAT-SU! SHIP-THAT-GETS-SHIT-ON-TOO-MUCH! SAI-MAT-SU! SAI-MAT-SU!

16. Your absolute BROTP?

I guess Sakuraoi? I get why people ship them, but Sakura is one of the characters who canonically has a boyfriend, and I just think they make really good friends other than girlfriends. No disrespect for anyone who likes them together though.

17. Do you have an OT3? Which one?

I’m not crazy about my OT3′s, since they’re mostly two characters who are romantically involved, with a third wheel/wingman on the side, but yes, I do have at least one for each game. For the first game, it’s Chishimondo (Taka, Mondo and Chihiro) for the second game it’s Sonsoudam (Sonia, Gundham and Kazuichi) and the third game, it’s Tenhimiangie (Tenko, Himiko and Angie)

18. Favourite rare ship?

There’s a ship I like called Nagiseiko or Komamura, which is Nagito Komaeda x Seiko Kimura.

19. Who do you think is an underrated character?

There are quite a few, like Nekomaru and Mahiru for instance, but I absolutely have to say Mondo. He has arguably some of the best characterization among the DR1 cast, and he’s my favorite killer in the first game purely because of his backstory and motive, and how he reflects upon the second case’s whole theme, and yet nobody seemed to focus on that importance. God Speed, you wonderful JoJo reference.

20. Who do you think is an overrated character?

Please don’t hurt me when I say this, but absolutely Chiaki. Many can chew me out for liking Kokichi, who in himself is overrated, but for a deuteragonist, Chiaki really doesn’t do an awful lot until Chapter 4-5

21. Favourite voice actor?

In terms of performance, either Derek Stephen Prince (Fuyuhiko and Kokichi) or Marieve Herington (Celeste)

22. Favourite talent?

Ultimate Detective. Shuichi and Kyoko are both really cool.

23. Favourite mascot?

Monokuma, duh! Compared to Monomi and the Monokubs, neither of them have shit on him.

24. Favourite Monokub?

1000% Monodam. All of them suck, except for him. (And Monotaro’s fine for the most part, but Monodam will always be the best)

25. Least favourite mascot?

Mono-fucking-phanie.

26. Favourite execution?

Leon Kuwata’s, the 1000 Blows. As they say, you never forget your first.

27. Least favourite execution?

Mikan Tsumiki’s, Bye Bye Ouchies. For reasons I don’t think I even need to state.

28. Favourite unused execution?

I really like Kazuichi’s unused execution that involves the drill.

29. Which character should survived in your opinion?

If we’re talking characters I wanted to survive, then I would’ve loved to see Chihiro make it to the end of DR1. As much as I love the importance of his passing, I really wanted him to get out alive and unscathed.

30. Which character would’ve deserved to survive?

In each game, there’s at least one character I think should’ve deserved to make it out alive. For the first game, it’s absolutely Taka, for the second, Hiyoko, even though I’m not strong on her, and for the third game, Ryoma, for the same reason everyone else thinks he should’ve lived.

31. Is there a character you think who shouldn’t have survived but did?

Yasuhiro did basically nothing to contribute to the class trials, or the overall progress in figuring out the mysteries of the academy. He never pulled his weight, and for some reason, he still managed to live through the killing game.

32. Least favourite protagonist?

I love her, but Komaru. She just doesn’t reach the same level as the others.

33. Character with the best clothing?

Celeste absolutely nails the gothic lolita style and it fits really well with the type of character that she is.

34. Best character design?

Gundham and Celeste.

35. A character who should’ve got more character development?

Kirumi, without question. She’s arguably my least favorite in the V3 gang purely because of her lack of development. She deserved better writing than what she got.

36. Character who looks amazing but you don’t like?

I love Ruruka’s design, but I hate Ruruka’s character. The same goes for Sonosuke Izayoi, who looks badass but got no development.

37. Favourite minor character?

For the little screen time he got, I vibe with Taichi Fujisaki.

38. Favourite eyes?

What? Uh...no preference?

39. Smartest murder plan?

Gundham’s plan in the 4th case of the 2nd game. He used pretty much every aspect of the funhouse to pull his plan off, and I love it.

40. Favourite culprit?

Gundham Tanaka, for what I’ve just mentioned, plus his motivation, and overall character.

41. Person you’ve never expected to become a culprit but they became? (Doesn’t include Chiaki)

I guess Mondo, Peko and Kiyo from each of the games. They all exude the energy that they COULD kill someone, but the chances of them actually doing it don’t seem that high, and yet...

42. Honest opinion on Tsumugi Shirogane?

I thought she was boring character at first, even after she was revealed to be the mastermind, but I’ve come around since then and I respect her as a villain a lot more. Being the only villain in the game who’s not directly tied to Junko, that at least gives her a bit of uniqueness.

43. Describe Monaca Towa in 3 words!

Piss Baby UGH!

44. Describe Nagito Komaeda in 3 words!

Extremely Entertaining Character

45. Unpopular opinion?

I think Hifumi Yamada is a pretty decent character overall. His Free Time Events, while awkward, were quite enjoyable, and he conveys the strong message that appearances aren’t everything. He’s aware of how different he looks compared to everyone else, but to him, it’s what’s on the inside and what he can do that matters.

46. Unpopular headcanon?

I don’t really have many major headcanons, and I have none that I would consider unpopular. I guess I’ll say “The V3 cast have a group chat in a Non-Despair AU that they meme the shit out of.”

47. A headcanon you have about a character?

In the ask blog that I run, Mikan and Ibuki are an item, and after they become one, Mikan discards her bandages and dyes a highlight in her hair. I live for that, so I guess that’s my answer.

48. Favourite OST?

If we’re talking about a game soundtrack, then either Danganronpa 2′s, or Ultra Despair Girl. If we’re talking about my favourite song in the whole series though, then my favourite is the opening theme to Future Arc in DR3, Dead or Lie.

49. Favourite mini game?

I don’t really have one. I have minigames that I like, and Minigames that I hate (looking at you “Improved” Hangman’s Gambit) But I guess I like Scrum Debate in concept a lot.

50. Favourite game design?

V3 is the most aesthetically pleasing DR game.

51. Character you thought you were gonna dislike but loved in the end?

Maki was such a piece of shit in my opinion at the beginning of V3. Of course, the development she gets reprimands that amazingly. I WOULD say Tenko, but I hated Tenko when I finished V3, and it was only after a short time later that I really turned around on her.

52. Character you thought you would like but disliked in the end?

I guess Angie? She was pretty annoying even before I outright disliked her, but then the whole third chapter brainwashing thing happened and I’m like, “this bitch suck for real!”

53. Favourite game end?

Danganronpa 2′s, and I don’t wanna hear all the “Ugh, the anime bullshit, ugh!” From a writing perspective, the second game just had the most enjoyable ending.

54. Least favourite game end?

I guess Danganronpa 1′s but even that wasn’t too bad. I have incredibly mixed feelings about V3′s twist ending, but I’ve grown to accept that it happened and there’s not a lot I can do about it...

55. Favourite love hotel scene?

Kaede’s. J-Just Kaede’s...That scene gives me the right amount of serotonin that I can keep going with my day.

56. Best free time events?

Hard to say, but I really liked Taka’s. Most of the FTE’s in Danganronpa tend to be pretty nice (unless you’re Hiro), but for him, I loved learning about the circumstances behind his family, how it corrolates with why he acts the way he does, his spite against people who call themselves “geniuses” and why they suck, and everything about his character just hits right.

57. Character who should’ve lived longer?

Kirumi or Ryoma.

58. V3 Pregame! headcanon?

“They aren’t evil creatures with a pessimistic look on life!” Seriously, why the hell do people headcanon the pre-game V3 cast as evil and masochistic bastards. Sure, their look on life was very cynical and pessimistic, and some of them wanted to join V3 for the money or the fame, but that’s just basic human nature and desire. That doesn’t mean everyone in V3 was an inherently bad person before they joined Danganronpa. They aren’t the remnants of despair for fucks sake.

59. Favourite moment?

Shuichi’s final stand in V3 really showed his growth in character, and his refutation “WE’RE GONNA END DANGANRONPA!” gave me goosebumps.

60. Saddest moment?

Gundham’s Execution made me cry, and I almost shed tears in Peko’s final moments. My answer therefore, is those two.

61. Character who looks like the love child of ???

Shuichi has always looked like the love child of Makoto and Kyoko or Makoto and Mukuro. I don’t have any parental headcanons though, and prefer to think of Shuichi as his own character.

62. Describe Mikan Tsumiki in 3 words!

Needs Love Mending! She’s an emotionally broken girl who needs love to heal her fragile heart.

63. Describe Kyoko Kirigiri in 3 words!

The Best Deuteragonist. By that, I mean out of all the characters who are most relevant to the plot alongside the protagonist and antagonist (which includes Chiaki and I guess Kaito too) Kyoko is the best one in my opinion.

64. Which character seemed like they were gonna be a culprit but they wasn’t?

I honestly expected Sonia to kill someone several times in DR2, but she ended up making it to the end. I’m not disappointed though, and I’m glad she never ended up snapping.

65. Who did you never expected to die but they died?

Kaede, no doubt about it. C’mon, she was set up to be the protagonist and then she got executed falsely. Rantaro also surprised me honestly, as did Fake Togami in Game 2.

66. Describe the last trial from V3 in 3 words!

An Absolute Clusterfuck. Not the bad kind, mind you, but Jesus, that trial was long and confusing.

67. Which character would you never want to meet in real life?

There are several honestly, but I’m gonna narrow it down and say Junko. Anyone who meets her is doomed to have their life ruined.

68. Which character would you like to meet in real life?

I relate to most of the weeb and dorky characters, so I guess either Hifumi or Non-Evil Tsumugi.

69. Choose one character which you would take with you on a trip.

Mikan would be handy to have around in case I get injured while on a hike or something.

70. Character you would have a sleepover with?

I don’t feel any sort of attraction to her romantically, and I tend not to for fictional characters, but Kaede is someone I’d really want to hang out and be friends with.

71. Character you can relate to?

Makoto, and I know that’s the whole point of his character, but even though he’s kind of basic and lacking in any significant personality, I still like him a lot.

72. Character you can relate to but you dislike them?

I sympathize with Kiyo’s plight, and how he suffered a lot of emotional abuse from his sister, but with his final moments and how much bullshit came from it (particularly the implied incest subplot) I just couldn’t feel anything except eagerness when I watched him die.

73. Character who deserved better?

Than what they got, I guess Taka.

74. What do you think of Hiyoko Saionji?

If she had survived the game, she’d have been recognized as great a character as Fuyuhiko, since she would have had time to develop. Unfortunately, her lack of growth thanks to her death relegates her into just being “that bitch from Danganronpa” In general though, I don’t dislike her at all, I’m just not as strong on her as I am the rest of DR2′s cast, or DR’s cast in general.

75. Describe Gonta Gokuhara in 3 words!

The Best Boy.

76. Favourite research lab?

The research labs are a cool concept that I really wanted to see more of in things like Fangans. I think my favorite is either Shuichi’s or Kokichi’s.

77. What do you think of the fandom?

Honest to god, I feel more comfortable in the DR Fandom than I do any other Fandom I’m a part of. We have cringe, toxicity and the same old jokes, yes, but other Fandom’s I’m in, like Persona and My Hero Academia, have the same on a whole other level. I think the majority of the Danganronpa Fandom truly does genuinely care about the game series and I appreciate that.

78. Favourite random/unnecessary scene?

The Man’s Nut scene in Danganronpa 2 was god damn hilarious. I never ever really thought the Peeping Tom scenes in each game were wholly necessary and just existed as cheap fanservice, but the Man’s Nut scene is SO damn funny!

79. Which character has the cutest design?

Chihiro is the most adorable bean in the universe.

80. Hope or Despair?

I have no real preference, but I choose Hope because I like to think I’m not a bad person.

81. Could you be the Ultimate Lucky Student?

Probably not. I dunno.

82. Favourite chapter?

DR2 Chapter 4. The funhouse chapter hit differently.

83. Least favourite chapter?

DR2 Chapter 3 and DRV3 Chapter 3. The former primarily due to the Despair Disease and Nekomaru’s death at the hands of Akane’s stupidity, and the latter because of reasons I’ve already mentioned, particularly Angie’s Student Council.

84. Which character do you easily forget?

Pretty much half the Danganronpa 3 cast. Particularly Tengan, Izayoi, Gozu and Bandai.

85. Could you be a Dangan Protag? Why?

I’d love to be, but I’m not as quick-witted or inquisitive as the likes of Makoto, Hajime and Shuichi.

86. Favourite Anthology chapter?

I like a lot of them, but the one where they all make chocolate is really cute.

87. Describe Peko Pekoyama in 3 words!

She’s pretty cool. There’s not much to say about her. Even if she is the one who killed Mahiru, a character I love, she’s a lot more important to the plot than many realize, especially in regards to Fuyuhiko’s subplot.

88. Describe Mondo Oowada in 3 words!

Completely Underrated Marvel. Just refer to Question 19.

89. Least favourite Danganronpa 3 character?

Pretty much any of them that aren’t Seiko, Ryota, or Yukizome. I’m gonna say Juzo though, because of his whole bullshit that Junko used against him, and how the tragedy is primarily his fault.

90. Do you like Junko?

Not at first, but I like her a lot more as a villain now. She wasn’t that fun in the first game, but was better in the second.

91. What do you think of Monokuma?

As far as game mascots go, he’s alright, however, the more the series goes on, the less relevant he becomes. In V3, he serves no real importance, and the game may have been just as good without him, leaving us with just the Monokubs. I hate the Monokubs, but that’s primarily because their existence just takes Monokuma’s importance away. V3 would be so much better if we had one without the other, either way around.

92. Least favourite Monokub?

*Heavy breathing* Mono... *Heavy breathing* Fucking... *HEAVY BREATHING* PHANIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEE!

93. Did you like the Monokubs?

Not for the most part. Monophanie and Monokid suck, and I hate them both. Monosuke sucks for similar reasons, but he’s just kinda...boring...Up until the whole incest imagery in Chapter 4′s trial, Monotaro was actually ok, and had some really funny lines, and as I’ve mentioned, I love Monodam a whole lot, since he was the only one who had something close to a character arc.

94. Did you like the Warriors of Hope?

I guess? I do feel bad for most of them, but at the same time, they can be really annoying. They ARE just kids, so I get it, but still. Masaru, I really didn’t care for. He was arguably the most annoying, and Jataro, while I felt bad for him, wasn’t much better. Kotoko was pretty fun in the end, and Nagisa was a really well written character with a strong morality to him. Monaca is a pretty sinister villain too, but I don’t like her as much as Junko and Tsumugi.

95. What do you think of Gundham Tanaka?

HE IS EXCELLENT AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH! Also, as I’m writing this, it’s his Bday, so happy Bday to Gundham Tanaka.

96. Who’s an overrated character you dislike?

I said Chiaki was overrated, but I don’t dislike her. I guess people like Kirumi too much considering how little development she gets overall.

97. Overrated ship which is your NOTP?

Komahina, do not test me on this. Everywhere I go, I see that ship that I know, from analyzing Nagito and Hajime’s relationship throughout the series, is incredibly toxic and would never realistically happen simply due to Nagito’s nature, and the way his FTE’s end means nothing to me.

98. Outfit you dislike?

Everyone’s always saying that Akane’s design sucks, and while I’m not too concerned on it overall, I do completely agree.

99. Your absolute NOTP?

Komahina again, and I guess JunkoMikan.

100. Opinion on all the Protagonists!

Makoto is relatable as hell, and I sympethise with him a lot. It’s quite fun to play as him in the first game, because he reacts more regularly to the characters in a way that most people probably would. I love Hajime’s reactions, and his backstory. I’m not too fond on most of the memes around him, like Organe Juice and the 91cm Titties, but in general, his reactions to things and the way he tends to call out his classmates is pretty entertaining. As I mentioned, Komaru, and I guess Toko, are my least favorite protagonist(s) but I still care about them both greatly. Komaru is as relatable as her brother, and UDG gives Toko the character development she so greatly needed in Game 1. Kaede is amazing, and is a character who gets too cussed out by people both in the game, and outside of it, and her death was super relevant, and an amazing twist I didn’t see coming. She’s just awesome in general. Shuichi, while Kaede’s death did upset me, he was an equally great protagonist, and I loved watching his growth throughout V3.

[bestworstcase]

🎥 and i know you already answered this buuuut just in case u have something else big lying around 💥

ask game

🎥- Favorite Season (1/2/3)?

vbhgfhjdfshjd you know. i rag on it constantly but 3. like, flawed as it is– the essentials of it, the broad strokes of the plot arc and lore and cass breaking away from rapunzel and of course demon hours, that’s... what i wanted out of the show, ultimately. and the poor execution is just an opportunity for me to tear it apart and put it back together again the way i like, which is not... a downside, in my mind, because that’s pretty integral to how i enjoy things. 

that being said 2 gets points for having RATGT in it

💥- A big a opinion you have related to the Tangled movie/series?

i mean u know me i hoard opinions like a dragon hoards treasure but one i don’t think i’ve fully voiced on here before is that i actually like where rapunzel’s characterization goes in s3. the frustration for me is that it doesn’t feel like it was intentional, and that’s a problem of poor writing that creates an annoying tonal dissonance.

but like, if we look at rapunzel’s behavior in s3 and take that at face value... like you said here rapunzel kind of does this weird swerve where despite her refusal to give up on cass she also feels much quicker to anger, quicker to judgment, quicker to making snap decisions. she stops accepting blame for things that aren’t her fault and she also becomes more forceful about trying to get her way (e.g. in KAQOH). she verbalizes care and concern for cass without proactively doing...anything about the situation. she meets the mind trap theft with a shrug, meets zhan tiri’s gloating with a shrug, and appears to only care about varian’s kidnapping because it ruins eugene’s birthday and her planned proposal. 

and like, much as i get the impulse to read that as rapunzel repressing her true feelings and putting on a happy front so solid she even starts to believe it... i don’t think there’s a lot of textual evidence for that reading, in the end, just as there isn’t a lot of textual evidence for the reading that cass is using the gothel thing as an easy focal point for all her other issues with rapunzel; because in both cases, there’s never any narrative payoff for these supposed acts of repression. the deeper truth never comes out, is never mentioned or even hinted out. 

and that doesn’t make them bad readings per se but it does make them... not super interesting to me, because damn it if characters are hardcore repressing their feelings i want that to MATTER and i want to see the CONSEQUENCES for that. 

conversely

even though i know it wasn’t the intention, i like reading rapunzel as genuinely growing into a more selfish, more callous person in response to all the shit that happens in s2. i think that makes sense! and i think it is a really fascinating avenue for her character! and i think it opens up a lot of really interesting and complicated options for further growth–like

1) for eighteen years, rapunzel grows up sheltered and inculcated with terror regarding everything outside her tower. then she learns that her “mother” is actually her kidnapper, goes through a harrowing experience that ends in gothel dying pretty horribly right before her eyes, and then goes straight to her real parents in corona

2) where she is then immediately thrust into a position of enormous authority and responsibility and expected to get up to speed on how to be a competent princess in, like, six months

3) then at the six month mark she gets a whole bunch of magic destiny bullshit dumped in her lap on top of everything else

4) she tries so hard to break herself free of the psychological chains gothel left her with, to see the goodness in the world and trust people and embrace the world outside the tower... and then the QFAD stuff happens, and she’s traumatized, and the fallout of that traumatizes her more so she sort of snaps herself back into Repression Mode and pretending everything is fine, and that leads indirectly to varian, her friend, snapping and assaulting the kingdom and kidnapping her mom and trying to kill her mom and best friend.

5) so she Immediately Leaves corona to deal with the magic destiny bullshit but that’s scary so she treats it more like a vacation than a serious quest but that causes friction between her and her best friend and she’s just coping! not very well but she’s trying her best!

6) but her best isn’t good enough and things with cass keep getting more and more tense and the magic bullshit destiny keeps getting more and more real as they get closer to the DK and more information comes to light... and then the great tree happens, and rapunzel makes a choice that leads directly to cassandra getting horrifically injured

7) and this is not a situation that rapunzel is equipped to handle AT ALL so she dumps whatever guilt and shame she feels onto cass as anger and blame and gets extremely anxious and pushy about trying to make cass apologize/accept this narrative that the injury was cass’s fault and not rapunzel’s, and it even seems to work for a while because cass ends up being the one who apologizes at the end of RDO...

8) ...but at this point like, the whole friendship has broken down, right? cass is so shut down and alienated that after RDO imo it was only a matter of time before cass left altogether, and it’s just rapunzel’s bad luck that zhan tiri stepped in to be that final trigger to make that happen. but like from rapunzel’s perspective, everything was fine after RDO until cass just. suddenly. lashed out at her and stole the moonstone and ran away to do lord knows what. 

9) and to make matters worse the only explanation cass offers is that she’s mad at rapunzel because gothel was cass’s mom and abandoned her, something that obviously is not rapunzel’s fault. and rapunzel at this point has PLENTY of experience being blamed for shit that isn’t her fault, and very little experience dealing with guilt for things that are her fault in a healthy way (in fact RDO ended up rewarding rapunzel for refusing to deal with her guilt in a healthy way) so... she has very little incentive to take cassandra’s betrayal as a reason to introspect on her own behavior, right? she has no reason to stop and think well what did i do to make her feel like she had to do that instead of talking to me about it? 

10) and the rest of the friend group likes raps better than cass so they also don’t have any reason to be like hey, rapunzel, we didn’t treat her very well, did we? 

11) and then she returns to an environment where she is effectively the acting queen, and her friend group has this narrative that rapunzel is a kind and compassionate person almost to a fault (because she is) so she is constantly having this idea that she didn’t do anything wrong, this was all cass reinforced. [remember how in DC eugene implicitly agrees with rapunzel’s sentiment that cass, not rapunzel, is to blame for cass’s injury? “that’s how cass hurt her hand”] 

12) and frankly all this seems to me like a PERFECT storm for some of the behaviors rapunzel observed/inherited from gothel to float to the surface. she has always been a little pushy, a little prone to not accepting culpability, a little inclined toward black-and-white thinking. right? so for those things to, in the wake of this traumatic betrayal by her best friend, coagulate together into rapunzel being more forceful, more confident, more focused on her own happiness rather than trying to please other people, all while still giving lip service to being compassionate and refusing to ever give up on anyone and missing cassandra... like, that makes sense as a character development for her to undergo, i think. 

and i LIKE that. the only problem is that it goes unremarked upon and it’s clearly not intended for rapunzel to be this way, which means that the narrative ends up sort of presenting all this as ~positive~ character development when it’s... really... not. and that creates that tonal dissonance that i mentioned.

but like, character development does not always need to be positive and it does not always need to be linear. people can get better then worse then better again and that’s fine, and i think there’s just... so much mileage to be gotten, in fanworks, out of taking this negative character development in s3 at face value and then running with it to the logical consequences thereof: i want to see rapunzel’s friends slowly realizing that she has changed in the aftermath of s3, once they don’t literally have a demon waging war on the kingdom to deal with; i want to see rapunzel getting called out, i want to see her struggle as she learns how to deal with guilt and accept blame for her actual mistakes; i want to see rapunzel wrestle with the personality traits she learned from gothel and figuring out who she is and who she wants to be; i want to see her slowly-dawning horror as she realizes how she’s overcorrected from “people-pleaser” and become callous to other people’s feelings, and the work she does to pull herself back onto a healthy middle ground instead. 

like!! i get, i totally get, the impulse in fanworks to just kinda put all this down to poor writing (because that’s what it is) and take the obvious intentions of s3 (that rapunzel has come into her own and found a good, healthy place for herself and does truly care for cass and want to help her etc etc) and roll with that. that’s a totally valid way to read the text esp for the purpose of creating fanworks

but i just think it’s neat and fun to take it at face value and then try to like, work through the consequences of that. let rapunzel have serious flaws 2k20

[monstaxdirtywonk]

MX’s IC (Imum Coeli)

DISCLAIMER : Read this! because I don’t want anyone to start drama at the comments since I said it already. We don’t know their birth times and IC needs birth time. I did a post on my speculations regarding this. That’s why those IC signs are ALLEGED ones. Thank u for understanding~

IC sign, the opossite of Midheaven, a personal one, how we are in private, our hidden desires and sense of comfort.

Shownu (Taurus rising,Leo IC)

I find this so accurate and this post might be a bit playful at some parts since it has to do with upbringing and maybe a bit of ‘weak’ spots. 

Shownu is a traditional man! He’s said so himself and especially in korean culture (I’m not korean but that’s what i’ve heard) reputation is a big deal.

That’s why he grew up taking pride in his heritage, embracing his culture and this is where his pride lies. 

As a shownu stan, i might know him a little bit better than the rest and I have to say the follow era was a hell for him but he didn’t show it because he puts a ‘rock’ persona out

besides his band mate leaving the group, what hurts him the most is his reputation being ruined in the eyes of the entire country

you don’t understand how harmful this is for shownu

thankfully many agreed he wasnt in the wrong but still it was a lot

anyways that’s over and we’re doing much better and that’s what matters

regarding the desire part, he wants someone that truly respects him for who he is

and he truly is someone worthy of that

Wonho (Cancer rising, Libra IC)

Another hard one but some posts are like that

in general the best signs for an IC are the water ones (yayy we are validated for once xD)

wonho has in general lots of water influence and as we can see, he is someone in touch with his emotional side that tends to get touched easily and cries even in more light-hearted situations that aren’t that heavy

after all water signs are known for being crybabies

his ic can create an opossition here since libra ic can be about mantaining peace and a seemingly ideal family/personal life

but this doesnt exist and problems arise

however his need for mantaining that perfect picture might make him skip on those and kind of bury such issues

this might connects with his past and those issues he shared with us after the entire ‘scandal’

maybe as a teen, he avoided all this and this might be the reason why nowdays he is prone to crying, he misses that

i am a huge advocant on men expressing their feelings and im happy he does that

according to his ic but chart in general, i do think that he wants a peaceful life and to be with someone that rarely gets agressive, someone mild and understanding, someone to encourage his emotional side he might supressed in the past

Minhyuk (Libra rising, Capricorn IC)

i do get the vibes that minhyuk was very put together from a very young age

neat and all

probably very responsible and mature too

his libra self has high ideals and he enjoys luxury and that’s why he might works extra hard to have this life

this might lead to him being demanding at times which is very intersting since this is a side of his we’ve never seen 

he craves stability and that’s a bit contrasting with his seemingly chaotic life

family oriented as well, we know how good he is with kids

he loves all of that

Kihyun (Pisces rising, Cancer IC)

that’s a great sign for IC since cancer rules this placement

his caring nature and mother role goes hand in hand with his childhood which seemed to be great 

he was nourished and felt safe with strong parental figures

he finds joy in family like settings

also he has a special connection with home, wants it to be cozy and all

might not even care about a ‘modern’ home but maybe his family one, that’s probably an average korean home, means much more than any other super luxurious one

he craves people that he can feel comfortable with and be real

Jooheon(Capricorn rising, Taurus IC)

This is something repetitive that i’ve seen when they talk about this placement

which might make sense with his rising

that there’s a need to create your own individual person and move away from your family ideals/habbits

well behaved as a kid, but this need of being a ‘good boy’ might’ve made him following others expectations instead of his own

but still close to family, just having his own influence over himself and he’s done that in my eyes

Changkyun(Scorpio rising,Aries IC)

Honestly if there’s a member I wish I knew his birth time the most, it;s Changkyun

I wanna see what his houses reveal because he seems to have an inner conflict at times

he has pisces/scorpio making him very romantic intimate and even clingy but then there’s aquarius and aries, wanting independence

he might not want to admit the first part because i do think that at times he wears a ‘mask’

i’m not saying he is not genuine but he might want to appear tough since the world can be too cruel for his delicate feelings at times

rebellious and impulsive , especially with that aquarius, but if he is careful, he can bring change and have an impact since he is an idealist

(for astrology ships dm me 4-5$)

[me-and-fo]

Ok, so I’m going to just take a moment to introduce my main F/O and explain why I love him so much. This will be a long post so be ready.

This is Gantlos

He is from an Italian cartoon called Winx Club, which got English dubbed and eventually aired on Nickelodeon later on. The cartoon is about a group of six girls that call themselves the Winx and are fairies. They have magical transformations, gain new forms and powers every season and fight seasonal villains. Gantlos is one of those villains. From the fourth season. He is part of the group called the Wizards of the Black Circle. The other three members are Ogron (the leader) Anagan and Duman. (I really like the other three as well, I have them as platonic F/Os). They are 4 ancient wizards from Earth that went to war with the Earth fairies. They imprisoned all the fairies a long time ago, bu there is still one fairy left that they haven’t gotten yet. The goal of the season is for the Winx to stop them from capturing her, free the imprisoned Earth Fairies, and fully stop their plans.

Anyways now that I’ve explained the background let me explain why I love him so much.

1. He’s pretty as heck. Yeah, yeah I know it’s a bit superficial and basic but it is one of the things I love about him. His entire outfit is amazing. I love the gothic style. I also love his hat. He has long black boots, and I have a really big weakness for long black boots for some reason. His hair is also pretty and also looks super fluffy. I also have a thing for CARTOON/DRAWN (Keywords: Cartoon/drawn. I don’t have a thing for this with real people) older men. I love all of those things on their own and combines is just PERFECTION. (Also there is a brief flash back reel in one of the episodes where he and the other wizards are seen in medieval style armor. He’s only wearing it for 2 images, but he looks AMAZING in it)

Current outfit

Medieval

2. He’s a cool villain. I have a weakness for villains. Always have and always will. Especially when they’re done good and also if they have some redeemable qualities (which this guy has a pretty good one which I’ll get into later). He’s also a powerful villain, being able to fight so many powerful fairies.

3. His powers are cool. Another mild point but nonetheless felt I should point it out. He has basic dark magic powers. But his main power is the use of seismic/sound waves that come out of his hands and feet. He can shoot sound waves from his hands by clapping which causes tons of destruction to the area around it. He can also cause seismic waves by stomping on/punching the ground and causing a mini earthquake. I just find these powers very neat. He also seems to have telepathic abilities, but it’s only touched on like three times? He used these powers to track one of the main characters when she was running from them, used them to make sure the same character was alone at a different point, and sent a mental distress signal to his friends. These powers aren’t touched on that much but I still find them neat.

4. Remember that redeeming quality I mentioned? Here’s where it comes into play. Despite doing horrible things, he is shown on several occasions to genuinely care about his friends. This is actually a theme with all of them, they all seem to care about each other. But Gantlos has the most examples in universe. He’s the one always coming in to save the others, and seen caring for them. He’s like team dad. He saved Anagan from falling, when they were running for their lives, which cost him time but he took the time to save his friend anyways. He also showed care for him when he warned him to be careful. Duman got severely ill at one point, but Gantlos carried him around almost the entire time he was sick, and also showed genuine emotion and concern when he was in pain. He also saved Ogron’s life. When Ogron was pushed onto the train tracks just as an oncoming train was approaching Gantlos JUMPED IN FRONT OF THE TRAIN to save him. It was also made abundantly clear that this was not easy on him and put him through great stress, but he did it anyways to help save his friend, then he helped carry him after that.

Saving Ogron

5. Then there’s his personality. And I see heavy compatibility of me and him. Of course he is shown to be cruel, as he is a villain. He is seen as the trigger happy, angry one of the group that has a temper. He also gets villainously smug, when something is going him and the groups way, or if he’s having fun fighting. I always love seeing his smug faces. But, as we see him be kind and protective of his friends we see him with a softer side. His personality gives me the vibe of someone that is cruel and easy to anger to the world around him, but to those he’s close too he’s really soft, caring and protective. He also gives me mega tsundere vibes. I feel like even though he’s cruel, if you and him get along you could actually get close to him and he could start to genuinely care for you. I find this very similar to myself, although more extreme. I don’t become close to people easily, it takes a lot for me to get close to and start to care for someone, I don’t have too many people in my life that I find I care about. I only have a few people IRL and I do have a few people online (looking at my discord folks). But those I care about I care about really strongly. I feel like we both have a tough outer shell, and we both hide our emotions because we’re afraid to show them and be honest, very few people can get through our shell, but those that do mean a lot to us, so I feel connected to him in that way. He also gives me major introvert vibes but I don’t exactly know why? Maybe it’s because he’s shown to be less extrovert like then his friends? But he gives me the vibe of someone who doesn’t really like to go out too much and also isn’t good at socializing and communicating (IDK why TBH there isn’t a lot of evidence for this in canon, but we don’t know too much about him so I can headcanon what I want according to vibes he gives me) which I can relate with. I also am an introvert that doesn’t like to go out and am also bad at and hate socializing and communicating, unless it’s someone I know and like. I can imagine us staying home and relaxing together while all our friends go out and do things. I also hate confrontation, or rather confronting someone myself. Meanwhile Gantlos is very confrontational. So if we ran into an issue with someone he could do the confrontation stuff, and probably be very fine with it. He also just seems like the protective type, which I love.

6. I don’t really know if this counts as a reason to love him, but just something neat. He’s a character that gives a lot of room for headcanons, since we don’t know much about his past. We know the ‘what’ he does and ‘how’ he does it. But we don’t know ‘why’ he does it. The best thing we’re given is generic “get more power, take over the world” stuff. We know that him and his friends attacked and imprisoned the Earth fairies, but not much about it. We’re basically told that one day him and his friends just showed up out of the blue and started wreaking havoc and that’s it. Nothing about his backstory and why he does this. Which leaves plenty of room for theories and headcanons.

7. This one scene in episode 7 of the fourth season where in the Rai/Cinelume version of the English dub (there are multiple English dubs) he says “If you wanted to be alone with me all you had to do was ask” 👀👀👀💗💗💗

8. This moment that has always stuck with me. In episode 6 of the fourth season there is this one scene where the fourth wall is broken. They basically make fun of the whole “villains doing nothing while main characters transform” trope. The main girls start transforming but then it cuts to Ogron (who’s holding Roxy hostage) mocking them and their transformations. To which Gantlos says “I kind of like it”. This evil, grumpy man likes magical girl transformations and that’s honestly the best thing 😂😂😂

9. I remember he was always one of my favorites as I was a kid. So there’s the good old nostalgia factor.

10. This image of him laughing wholesomely 👀👀👀

Anyways this is the end of my gushing over why I love this man so much. Maybe this’ll help y’all understand my love for him. ❤️

[subtlereferencetomyinterests]

Complexities Unknowable- Chapter Six

Ao3,    1     2     3     4     5    7,  MasterPost

Relationships: Deintruality, background Analogince

This is crazy long. But I like this one. Also, second to last chapter! Also also, i mention spinny hugs three whole times because I miss Hugs. I miss them. 

Warnings: Cursing, food mention, brief angst/arguing, someone digs their nails into their skin but like unintentionally, crying, Remus-typical jokes and comments (he has some pretty violent thoughts directed towards roman), very very brief alcohol mention (wine, cuz Jan’s Like That), uhhh lots and lots of hugging and fluff. And Janus is still called Deceit, for continuity reasons. lmk if I missed something.

Word Count: 3,657

Patton did end up visiting them- albeit several hours later. Deceit wasn’t quite sure how he felt as he watched Morality make himself at home in The Subconscious living room, but he was leaning towards happy. 

Though ‘make himself at home’, was a tad of a stretch, given all his uncomfortable fidgeting. Deceit could taste that there was something he wasn’t saying, but he didn’t have to wait long to see what it was.

“I- um- I brought you guys something-”

Of course he had.

“-as an apology.”

Wait, what?

Remus’ head shot up from where he was sifting through dvds, flashing Deceit a smug grin. Patton didn’t seem to notice as he elaborated.

“You guys have been so nice to me lately, even after I, uh, didn't exactly respect you as much as I should have. I didn’t give you enough credit for what you two contribute, and that was my bad, so here!” He waved his hand and an enormous, neatly folded quilt dropped into his lap. He stood from the couch, struggling to unfurl it.

Deceit’s eyes were saucers. The blanket was a spiral of triangles of lime green, pale yellow, and baby blue fabric. At its edges were small patches of violet, indigo, and red, along with a gray border and a large black circle in the middle of the spiral. Within that circle was the word ‘Family’, embroidered in vibrant rainbow colors.

“It’s okay if you can’t forgive me right away, but I just wanted you to know that you guys are part of my family now, as far as I’m concerned, and I-”

Remus threw himself at Patton with full-force, picking up the much taller side and twirling him around in what looked to be a crushing hug. Deceit remained silent and caught the quilt as it was flung from the two-side tornado. It was soft, smooth, warm. 

“When did you… how did you have the time to make this?”

Morality’s face was flushed and he laughed, bright and airy, as Remus finally let him down. 

“That’s what took me so long to get here! You guys invited me over, and I didn’t want to show up empty-handed. I know I’m not the most artistic, but I think I’m pretty good at sewing.”

He’d spent hours making them a quilt- by hand, when he could just have conjured it- so he could offer them this olive branch. After everything. Deceit was choked up, but he wasn’t sure which emotions in specific were clogging his throat. His voice didn’t sound like his when he spoke.

“I am also sorry!” So it was a little stilted, cut him some slack! It was hard to focus on being well-spoken and not lying at the same time,  “You are- No, you aren’t- solely at fault for our not at all strained relationship.” 

“What?” Patton didn’t seem to comprehend. Remus, who looked disgustingly proud of Deceit, translated for him.

“He’s saying that we’re also sorry for being giant cunts, thanks for the neat blanket, and let’s call it even?” 

The snake nodded in agreement. 

Patton’s eyes grew wide and his smile faded, leaving behind soft surprise. He clearly hadn’t expected any sort of forgiveness, which was both saddening and admirable. He was just a living teddy bear, wasn’t he?

With an exaggerated groan, Deceit placed the quilt to the side and stood, opening his arms. Remus cheered and caught him around the waist with his arm, pulling all three of them together for a tangled group hug. Deceit pretended to hate it, but it was very hard to.

After the two extremely affectionate traits finally got tired of squeezing the life out of him, Deceit extricated himself and determinedly ignored how hot his face had gotten. He curled up on the couch and held the bundled quilt to his chest protectively. Patton and Remus worked together to settle on a movie before joining him. The latter leaned in very close, whispering right against Deceit’s ear. 

“You think we can convince him into a threesome?”

Deceit turned the volume up twenty notches and sat next to Patton for the rest of the movie, out of spite.

It was hardly the last time Patton visited them. Deceit probably should have expected the clinginess from him, popping in daily to tell them about the latest happenings in The Conscious or show them a “““funny””” meme he’d seen on Facebook. Once that door of camaraderie had opened just a crack, the moral trait had enthusiastically torn it off its proverbial hinges. And the oddest thing was how little Deceit minded. 

Patton was, in many ways, like Remus. Energetic, imaginative, affectionate, and containing depths of emotions that you’d never guess he had at first glance. Some days, Morality would run in with bright markers and an even brighter smile to have Remus to teach him new art techniques. Other times, he’d shuffle to Deceit’s door late at night, eyes bloodshot, asking whisper-quiet for a cup of tea and to spend some time together. Those nights in particular stuck with the lying trait, when he would watch Patton’s expression slowly lighten as they chatted together, talking about everything and nothing.

Another bonus of all that had happened Logan, who had now become a friend to the former Dark Sides (Deceit was very thankful to be able to chat with someone else who was Competent). Never had Deceit been so glad that he was wrong about someone!

But, as he’d quietly admitted to both Morality and Logic just a couple nights ago, there was something missing. He hadn’t elaborated, but apparently he hadn’t needed to. Leading them to now.

When Remus and Deceit had been invited for breakfast that morning, they’d of course agreed (you just can’t say no to Patton’s puppy eyes), but they were quickly abandoned with Roman and Virgil by the two bespectacled sides. The blue-hued traits supposedly had a surprise and would be right back, but Deceit could taste the lie. Yet, constrained as he was by the societal expectation to not freak the fuck out when things didn’t go the way he liked, he waited patiently while refusing to make eye-contact with Anxiety.

But then his good-for-nothing despicable traitor of a boyfriend stood up.

“I’ll be right back, I’m going to go stand in the kitchen and wait for things to be less awkward!”

Roman, similarly the worst, jumped to his feet as well.

“And I left the stove on!” 

So now he was just. Staring at his ex-best friend. Which was fine. 

He took a sip of his drink.

“Are you drinking wine at nine in the morning?” Virgil asked suddenly. Deceit looked down at his own drink, then towards the identical wineglass sitting by the other’s plate. 

“Yes? Aren’t you?”

“This is apple juice,” he held the glass up and swirled it, earning a snicker from Deceit. 

“Why are you drinking apple juice from a wine glass?” 

“Why are you drinking wine at nine in the morning?” 

He jerked his thumb in the direction of the kitchen, brow raised in a silent explanation: I’ve got that one, remember? Virgil nodded solemnly, a smile playing at his lips. With that minuscule, vaguely pleasant interaction, they returned to silence.

“Patton sure is taking his sweet time,” Deceit thought it only fair that he be the one to break the quiet this time, just so they were even.

“Something tells me it’s gonna be a lot longer. It’s kinda obvious what he’s doing.”

“Mm. Subtlety is not one of his virtues. It’s a nice gesture, though,” the lack of hostility in the conversation was beginning to irk him. It was almost nice. God, he’d missed it, he hated how he’d missed it.

“Yeah…” Virgil glanced away and shifted in his seat, “Yeah. He’s nice.”

“I agree.”

“Look,” the anxious side set his glass down, “Pat’s my best friend, so I’m doing this for him. I think he’s been kinda lonely lately, and I feel... responsible. Like, he’s not into me or Ro and Lo, and we aren’t either, but it’s- it’s not the same now, the four of us. And it’s pretty obvious that you guys make him happy- he talks about you all the time- so I’m giving you this one chance. Don’t fuck it up, and don’t you dare hurt him.”

Deceit blinked, blindsided. Sincerity got to him, it got under his skin and tore apart his quick wit like it was paper. He had to clear his throat a couple of times before any actual words came to him.

“I won’t repeat my past mistakes. I-” he nearly shuddered, “I promise it.”

Virgil seemed appeased, his expression easing into something more familiar (painfully familiar and new all at once). His lips quirked up in a smug smirk.

“Good. Didn’t wanna have to nudge you down a staircase, anyway.” 

Deceit chuckled. From there, the conversation flowed almost naturally. It wasn’t like old times. Maybe that was a good thing. It wasn’t quite friendly, not yet, but there was an impression. If he played his cards right, if he stayed genuine, then it would be. Soon. And that was enough for now.

Remus scrambled to the top of the fridge and loomed over his brother. He was, for once, not the first to talk. 

“So we wait it out in here until Sherlock and Watson get back from whatever it is that they’re pretending to do-”

“Which is when Snakey and Virgey kiss and make up-”

“Which will be never,” Roman concluded, sitting on the counter. He idly smoothed down his already meticulously styled hair (vain bitch). Remus picked a flea from his own scalp and flicked it at him spitefully, but it went unnoticed. Just like everything he did. 

“I don’t know why they couldn’t have let me in on their little scheme, I shouldn’t have to be between that situation.”

Remus laughed wickedly, a noise with very little mirth and a whole lot of frustration. 

“Mhm, yeah- you’re just a saint, getting along with everybody! You haven’t got a single problem to work out!”

“I didn’t say that,” Roman replied indignantly, “I know that Deceit and I don’t have a great history, but we get along fine now.”

Unbelievable. No- it was completely fucking believable! Remus should just hit him, tear his arms off and beat him with them, pull out the ol’ morning star and smash his brother’s skull in. How stupid he’d been to think that this could be fixed. Roman was impossible. No matter how hard Remus tried, he’d never get anywhere, no matter how supportive Patton was.

“Whoah, you okay?”

The Duke blinked, staring down at the angry, crescent-shaped marks that he’d clawed into his arms unknowingly. He tilted his head to stare at the other Creativity. 

“Not really, no!” 

Roman seemed taken aback. He leaned up and rested his arms on top of the fridge beside Remus.

“Don’t let Patton see you do that, he’ll have a fit,” he joked, reaching up to grab Remus’ hands. The Intrusive trait scrambled away to the other edge of the appliance.

“Don’t tell me what to do, and don’t pretend to care about what I do!” 

“What? What are you-” Roman cut himself off, his face clouding with realization, “Oh.”

“What is it now?” 

“I- I’m supposed to talk to you, aren’t I?” 

Remus stared at him for a long, thoughtful moment. He then erupted into cackles, spitting laughs out like it was the only thing stopping him from breaking down (it was). 

“Oh, whatever. Don’t pretend you don’t hate me just for Patty’s sake.”

Roman hopped off the counter, standing in front of the fridge with arms crossed. He looked angry- but not angry at Remus? That was new. New and weird. 

“You think I hate you?”

“I know you hate me, Roro,” he pulled himself to the edge of his platform, swinging his legs out in front of him. 

“Do you hate me?”

Remus wasn’t quite sure how to answer that one. It was fine, because Roman didn’t wait for a response anyway.

“Get down here.”

“Why should I?” 

“So I can- so we can- Ugh, just get down!”

The Duke got down. Curiosity killed the cat, after all (or the cephalopod, as the case may be). 

Once within his reach, Roman threw his arms open and wrapped Remus up in a fierce hug.

Remus swayed, suddenly very dizzy. Was the world always this blurry? No, no, maybe he was crying? Or maybe he’d gone blind? It didn’t matter either way, all that mattered was that someone was hugging him. Willingly. 

“You’re my brother,” Roman hissed,  “You annoy the hell out of me. And we don’t get along much. And we fight, a lot, but it wasn’t ever anything more than that. I didn’t mean for it to be more than that. You’re my brother-”

“You already mentioned that part-”

“Shush!”

He shushed.

“I don’t hate you. How could I?”

Oh. Well. Hm. That changed things.

Remus’ awareness jolted back into him then. He lifted Roman off the ground with ease and spun around in wide circles, smiling with all of his teeth (which said a lot; he had quite the array of teeth). He held on like his brother would disappear if he let go, conjuring more limbs for the express purpose of holding on tighter.

“Rem!” 

“Yeah, bro?” his voice was giddy, and distinctly wobbly, but that was irrelevant. He spun again.

“I- I’m very glad that we’re having this bonding moment, but I think you broke my ribs.”

“Oh, oops,” Remus let go immediately, dropping Roman to the floor. He offered a shrug in apology.

“Oh yeah, I don’t hate you either, by the way.”

“I assumed so,” Roman wheezed, using the counter to pull himself back to his feet. He gave Remus a lopsided smile.

“It’s good we don’t hate each other. Now I don’t have to knock you out whenever I wanna hang out with Patty.”

“Yeah, that is a relief.”

“Wow, we’re good at this whole reconciliation thing! Let’s go rub it in Vee and Dee’s emotionally constipated faces!” In mere minutes Remus already forgot what being sad felt like. Life was good and he had no problems anymore! 

“We probably should make sure they haven’t killed each other,” Roman held a hand out, which Remus grabbed gleefully.

“Ugh! Why are you always sticky?!”

“Do you really want the answer to that?”

“Abso-fucking-lutely not.”

They returned to the dining room, hand-in-hand, only to find their respective boyfriends having a perfectly civil conversation. 

‘Coincidentally’, as soon as Remus and Roman resumed their places at the table, Patton and Logan rose up with an enormous stack of stunningly fluffy pancakes. They shared a secretive smile- as though they genuinely believed that nobody knew what they’d done. Deceit didn’t correct them, but only because he hardly wanted to admit that they’d been successful (maybe it was just him that was bad at making plans; everybody else seemed to have it down). 

Breakfast was short. Deceit could’ve just finished eating a five course meal and he’d still find it hard not to wolf down Patton’s cooking, especially his breakfast food.

And naturally, Deceit offered to help clean up, which had also been a quick task. He’d just dried his hands and flashed Morality a small smirk, turning to leave. He didn’t get far before Remus grabbed his arm and swung them both back into the kitchen. 

“Before we leave, aren’t we forgetting something, DeeDee?” 

Patton set down the last plate and shot them a confused look.

“I haven’t the slightest clue what you mean, dearest,” Deceit claimed, pointedly not looking at either of them. Patton was growing progressively more bemused.

“Did you lose something again, Re?” 

“I haven’t, but Dee seems to have lost his manners.”

The dishonest trait threw his arms up and groaned. If he was only a tad less in love, he’d have decked that look off of Remus’ face.

“Alright! Patton, from the bottom of my heart, thank you!”

“What are we thanking him for?” Remus needled.

“Everything,” he’d intended it to come out biting and sarcastic, and was disgusted to find his voice laced with sincerity, of all things! 

There was most certainly an adoring, proud look on Patton’s face. He was looking away, he did not see it. 

“Oh, you two,” he still heard him though, rambling on, “It was just the least I could do!” 

Remus made a noise. It was loud and completely unintelligible, but with a general air of happiness. And, for what was very much not the first time, Deceit was crushed in an over-enthusiastic threeway hug with no means of escape. He hissed, the noise dying on his lips as soon as he saw the wide and excited grins on both Patton and Remus’ faces that were very, very close. 

Morality really had done something amazing for them- something that Deceit had hoped for for ages. Now the side just looked so happy with himself, with what he’d done, and with them.

Deceit looked between Remus and Patton. 

The human half of his face was burning. 

He looked again, just to be sure. 

Those were definitely the same feelings, huh? Oh fuck. 

“You guys are just too much,” Patton laughed, clearly unaware of Deceit’s impending emotional crisis. His hold around Deceit’s waist had tightened, and with little warning, both him and Remus were no longer on the ground.

The former Dark Sides caught eyes. The red of Remus’ face contrasted dramatically with the green of his apparel. 

Double fuck. 

Patton had clearly mistaken their stunned silence as uncomfortableness, letting them down gently and stepping back.

“Sorry, I got a little carried away.”

“It’s fine!” Was Deceit’s voice always that shrill?

“Yeah, don’t worry about it! But we have to go, right now- important, mysterious things to do! You know us, pure villainy!”

“Yes, that, what he said!”

They sunk out.

It was quiet as they appeared in The Subconscious. Remus looked at his boyfriend. Deceit was staring back, but his mind was very clearly miles elsewhere.

“So. We should maybe talk about that.”

The trait opened his mouth to speak, still looking rather dazed, but Remus interrupted him.

“I swear to God, babe, if you say ‘talk about what?’, or ‘oh, Dear, I have no idea what you mean,’ I am going to rip your esophagus out with my teeth and swallow it.”

Deceit’s mouth snapped shut, then open, then shut. He shuffled over to the couch and proceeded to drop onto it like a ragdoll.

“I think I have feelings for Patton.”

Remus sighed in relief and flopped down next to him, draping his arms across the shell-shocked snake side. 

“Glad we’re on the same page.”

“You’re happy?”

He thought the question over carefully, and an absolutely terrifying possibility occurred to him.

“Yeah- I- we are on the same page, right? Like, he’s super cute and nice and fuckable, but you and I still…?” he let himself trail off. There were very few things that Remus struggled to say, but the thought that two of his favorite people would move on from him- together, no less- was both wildly horrifying and too familiar to verbalize. 

Deceit snapped out of his stupor long enough to glare angrily at Remus- more specifically, glare at the train of thought that he knew Remus was following.

“I’ll always love you, you idiot. Nobody and nothing will change that.”

Remus smiled- not a grin, but a smile- and exhaled slowly. Good, back on track.

“I love you, too. Right, now what do we do?”

“...Do?”

The Duke sat up straight enough to bonk his head against Deceit’s, eliciting a small ‘ow’. 

“Yes, ‘do’; when people have feelings for each other they do something about it- especially when that person is their friend. Unless you were planning on ignoring this, pushing it down, and going back to keeping Patton at arm’s length, which would ruin a perfectly good relationship in an effort to not ruin that relationship. Was that what you wanted to do?” 

“Well when you put it like that... No.”

“Alright, my pretty little liar, what do you want?”

Deceit hid his face in Remus’ neck. His muffled voice said something sounding a lot like ‘I have no fucking clue’.

“I can tell you what I’d like?”

More muffled noises: translation ‘If you say threesome I’m going to end you’.

“No- well, yeah- but I meant that we should woo him!”

Deceit pulled back to squint up at Remus.

“Woo him?”

“This whole conversation, you’re just a broken record- yes, do, yes, woo! We could be a throuple!”

The Duke saw Deceit very nearly say ‘throuple?’, before deciding to actually contribute to the discussion.

“I will admit, that sounds… alright, it sounds lovely. In theory. Do you really think that’s a good idea, though? Why should we risk it- we’ve only just fixed things, why go breaking them again?”

“So if Patton isn’t interested, he’s not going to be friends with us anymore, either? Does that sound like something he’d do?”

“Well- not really- but-”

“Who was right about making friends with him in the first place?”

Deceit glowered, answering begrudgingly.

“You were. But still-”

“Who was right about fixing things with Virgil?”

“... You.”

His gaze remained hesitant, so Remus continued.

“And who’s going to be right about this, when the three of us are all sucking face?”

Deceit dropped his head back against the couch and closed his eyes.

“Why do you keep being helpful? I’m supposed to be the smart one in this relationship.”

“Trust me babe, I hate it too,” Remus sympathized, “D’you want me to go microwave some silverware? You can brag to Logan about single-handedly saving my life from the explosion!”

The dishonest side smirked, leaning forwards once more to peck Remus’ cheek. 

“That’s an awful idea, my love.”

Tags:

@deceits-left-glove​ 

@princemesscharming

@shrimp-crockpot

[pip-n-flinx]

Among Us

So this is going to get long, this is going to get personal, this is going to be about prejudice and race and self-serving bad-faith arguments and flawed rhetoric. And for all of these reasons I’m going to leave the rest of this under the cut.

As a few of my friends will know, earlier this week I was delivered an ultimatum from my landlord/roommate. He disguised it well, telling me he was ‘concerned for my mental health’ that my ‘negativity was dragging the whole house down’ and that I was simply too filthy to live with. I won’t pretend I’m a neat freak, and I can honestly say that I have taken some pains to clean more since, to his surprise and delight, though its particularly hard to take coming from him.

“You’re always so down. It’s making you lazy and thin skinned” You know its funny you should say that, now specifically, because I’ve actually been on the up and up this last week and you didn’t mention this at all in January when I was actually at my worst, or February when I was afraid I was going to have to quit my job, or back during the holiday season when retail work was breaking my back... Only now do you think to check in on me?

“You left a pair of gloves, a letter, and a small wooden trinket on the table!” Indeed I have, as you have left your pair of gloves, well over 21 letters, and regularly set your packages on this same table, including today two packages to be returned to amazon. I didn’t realize I didn’t get to use the table the same way you do.

“You don’t do dishes! except that you did this week, which is cool I guess but still!” You do realize that I actually hand-wash every dish I use within 24 hours of using it, right? And that often the dishes you come to me bitching that I never cleaned are in fact your fiances, yes? Ok good, next question.

“You’re always complaining about work. I don’t mind that you vent, but its all you talk about anymore!” I have either lost or walked away from 4 jobs in this last year, and that has not been easy, or fun. I have worked essential retail jobs the entire pandemic thus far. Additionally, in the months leading up to you storming out of your 75k a year salaried sales job, I had told you to leave it because I could see that it was killing you. You got so fed up with the job that for 4-5 months before you left your grandma-paid-off-my-second-mortgage capitalism-knows-best-pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps-ass spent more time playing valorant and league of legends on the clock than doing actual work. Need I remind you that every time I stepped into your office, or simply stepped upstairs to get ready for work, you would complain about how awful your managers were, or how shitty someone had been to you over the phone? DID I EVER BELITTLE YOU FOR ANY OF THESE THINGS????

The real kicker was that the spark, the moment that started this (at least for him) was me trying to explain why racism and ‘cultural supremecy’ was bad. I had brought to him something I thought we could both agree on, that we could both laugh at. I brought him a series of tweets about how problematic Van Gogh was for studying and imitating traditional japanese painting techniques. He took this, and immediately turned into a piece of the culture wars. Now, I agree, this is an egregious example of trying to ‘cancel’ someone. How cancelling a long dead artist who couldn’t sell his art while he was alive is important is beyond my comprehension, its not as though the market value of these comes up very often, and almost no-one will ever have a chance to buy or reject a Van Gogh. But to him this was emblematic of ‘liberals’ cancelling Seuss and Rowling.

He even went so far as to say that Van Gogh probably ‘did it better’ than the artists he was studying/imitating. Now, this is a huge red-flag to me because this is straight out of the Nazi playbook. This is William Shenker, proposing a theory of music to proof ‘German cultural superiority.’ This, if you will pardon my language, is the real culture war: trying to supplant other cultures art and history with western figures and events.

Now, for those of you who don’t know who I’m talking about, this man is sexist. He doesn’t believe women are equal, complains about women’s sports, and rejects a woman’s right to choose. This man is a transphobe, questioning the logic of ‘safe-spaces’ and allowing people to change their pronouns. This man is a Trump supporter, and voted for him twice. And all of these things I found out years after we became friends. I have in the past contemplated what it would take to cut him out of my life wholesale. Despite our wealth of shared experience and our shared interests, we’ve been drifting apart as he drifts further and further to the right. And he has been drifting. He’s parroted more bad-faith arguments from Ben Shapiro and Tucker Carlson in the last 6 months then he ever did when I first moved in with him.

I have been trying to push back, especially when he says the quiet parts out loud. I try to let him know that it is not acceptable to say he would rather an unarmed black man die that risk that a police officer might be injured. When he compares the people in control of Seuss’ intellectual property and works choose to stop printing less than 6% of his published works to the book burnings in Mao’s china. When he says that its more important to protect teacher from students trolling them by changing their pronouns than it is to protect trans or NB kids. When he espouses his belief that trans and NB kids are ‘just mentally ill.’ Whenever he says any of this shit, I have pushed back. I have tried to halt, or at least slow, his descent towards eugenics and white supremacy and fascism.

It has been to no avail.

And to be honest its exhausting. I wanted to believe that he would trust me, not just to be a moral and thoughtful person, but to be educated and informed on these issues. We went to school together, spent countless hours solving homework and trying to crack games together. If I don’t know the answer to his questions immediately, he often jokes ‘C’mon, you’re supposed to know everything!” and has frequently told me that I’m selling myself short.

But apparently all that trust and all that respect goes out the window when I challenge him. Suddenly I’m ‘overly negative’ or ‘too sensitive’ or he’ll ‘need to look into that, but...’

And the thing is, he is capable of great acts of kindness. He offered to rent me a room in his completely paid-off house, no mortgage at all, simply because he could see living at home was killing my mental health. He offered me 50-75% off of market rate. He buys gifts all the time, has landed tenants job interviews, set people back on their feet, and refused to press charges for several major financial loses he’s taken on the determination that it would do more harm to the defendant than he could ever recoup from it.

But he does not extend this kindness, this generous soul, to everyone. And lately, his circle grows smaller, and his kindess has waned, and it’s been so devastating to see him slip further and further towards his own worst impulses.

I know there will be people who think I should have cut him out of my life years ago, who can’t believe we never talked enough to know that he voted for Trump in 2016. I think back then he was genuinely ashamed, or at least guilty, about that vote. Now? It’s almost a matter of pride for him. I can’t tell you the number of times in the last 4 months that he’s told me that Biden “couldn’t possibly” be as “great” a President as Trump.

And he hides behind this “praise them when they do good, cuff them when they do bad” line and I used to take comfort in it but now... Now it’s clear that it was just a front or excuse for liking these abhorrent people.

I’ve had a couple of hard conversations with some of our mutual friends about what this means for me, and how I interract with the whole group of friends as a whole, in the last 3 days. None of our mutual friends seem to take any of these things as seriously as I do, with my oldest friend even telling me that he ‘can’t imagine’ breaking a friendship off over politics.... I know I know, the caucasity of it all, yes ha ha. And it does make me genuinely worried that I’ll wind up losing the 5-6 close friends that I actually rely on these days over this horrible sonuvabitch. But all this personal venting aside, there’s something bigger here I want to address:

I sat down this evening to watch Last Week Tonight and I was struck by this piece about Tucker Carlson, because while I knew some of what was said on his show, he is remarkably confident for a man who spouts the quiet parts of racism/sexism/homophobia on TV. I have a hard time imaging a more blatantly racist thing to do then declare that a woman who suggested ‘dismantling systems of oppression wherever they are found’ wants to dismantle the American system...

And I have to say, we should go back to punching Nazis. I want these fuckers afraid. I want them to crawl back to the furthest reaches of the internet, relegated to be laughed at for their bigotry by pundits of every political ideology. I want their vile vitriol hidden away where it doesn’t embolden others. I want them to know that they are out of line, out of touch, out of time. I want them to feel ashamed, like the relics of a bygone and worse era that they are, and for them to quietly fade to an ignominious death. I’m tired of seeing them on National News. I’m tired of Pewdiepie’s channel and influence refusing to die despite all the horrible things he’s said and done. I’m tired of Ben Shapiro spouting off about a woman’s place and rights, as if he has any fucking authority on the matter. I just want these people to lose their platforms and their followers. And for me the fact that they haven’t yet is so incredibly discouraging.

I know I didn’t offer any answers here I’m just tired of being alone with this defeated attitude and I guess I needed to get this off my chest as I try to disentangle myself from the losing battle of trying to save a friend from alt-right radicalization.

[artificialqueens]

Galactica, Chapter 9 (Group Fic) - TheDane/Veronica

A/N: Please know how INCREDIBLY grateful we are to anyone who’s liked or commented on this story. It’s really a labor of love, and we’re thrilled that people are enjoying it! Click here if you’re looking for previous chapters (or here if you’d rather read on AO3). 💫

Last Chapter: Violet suffered a hangover and, to her delight, found an assistant candidate that Fame approved.

This Chapter: A million girls would kill for Courtney’s new job.

***

Courtney took a deep breath as she entered the Galactica building and took the elevator up to the 25th floor.

It was a sunny day in early August, and she had dressed in her very best outfit since it would be her first day at her brand new job.

Courtney had applied for the job with little to no hope of actually getting it, but then the miracle happened, and she had been completely overjoyed when her new friend Violet had called her with the news; even if the interview with Miss Fame had been one of the scariest things she had ever done.

Courtney’s entire weekend had been spent in a frantic state of pulling together the mountain of paperwork HR had requested in order to get her visa, and of course there was the anxiety about having nice enough clothes to wear.

She had ended up enlisting Tyra to help, since her college friend was the most stylish person she knew, and managed to do it on a budget, too. They’d scraped together enough pieces for this week, but if Courtney lasted longer than that, and she desperately hoped she would, she would have to beg, borrow and perhaps steal some more.

It was 8 am, and Courtney thought she would have been the first one in the building, but when she made it to the office, Violet was already there. Courtney quickly checked her hair and her teeth in the glass door reflection, smoothing out the wrinkles in her light blue dress before she opened the door with a big smile and a cheery, “Good morning!”

Violet looked up. She was wearing a white buttoned up shirt, golden jewelry and a crimson pencil skirt, her long black hair falling down her back in curly waves, looking as beautiful and impeccably put-together as always.

Violet was organizing something at a brand new desk that had not been there during Courtney’s interview. It was placed directly across from Violet’s desk, on the other side of the door to Fame’s office.

“Ah. Courtney.” Violet smiled. “Good morning.”

Courtney sighed, a bit relieved. Today, Violet seemed much more like the lovely girl she’d met at the club last week, and less like the uptight hardass she’d been during the interview. Courtney supposed that maybe that had been a test, and she was thrilled she passed, because now they could be friends.

She looked at the new desk, which was equipped with a new iMac and office supplies, along with a thick binder and notepad with the Galactica logo.

“Fame is getting her hair recolored and cut at Juju Sandersons salon-” Violet took a brief pause, her eyes searching Courtney’s face for something, and Courtney realized that she was probably expected to know who that was, though she had no idea. “Hmm.” Violet tapped her papers against the desk, putting them into a neat and organized pile. “Which means we have time to get you ready before she returns.”

“Get me ready?” Courtney looked down at herself; she thought she looked more than fine. She’d tried to look as chic as possible in honor of the new job.

“Not that. Your outfit is acceptable today.” Violet gestured for Courtney to come sit at the desk while she continued to stand. “Here.” Violet placed a stack of papers in front of Courtney on the table.

“What’s this?”

“I need you to sign this before we begin.” Violet put a perfectly manicured finger down on the paper, and Courtney’s nose was filled with the overpowering scent of lavender. “It’s a standard NDA. You’ll do the rest of your paperwork with HR later, but I can’t show you anything until you sign.”

“Oh...okay.” Courtney wasn’t sure exactly what an NDA was, but if it was that important, she supposed she better sign immediately. She picked up a pen and began to fill it out as quickly as possible.

Her pen had barely lifted from the last line when Violet snatched it off the table, replacing it with the binder.

“Thank you.”

Violet pointed to the binder, a 4-inch monstrosity filled with tabbed sections and little flag stickers. “I took the liberty of preparing a manual for you. It’s nowhere near complete, but it’s enough to get you started. Read it, memorize it, get to know everything inside.”

“Sure,” Courtney said, and opened the cover, a little startled when Violet reached out a hand to snap it shut again.

“Not now.” Violet sighed. “Do that on your own time. Please.”

“Sorry.” Courtney swallowed. Guess party Violet was a lot further away than she had thought.

“I’ve pulled these for you from marketing.” Violet dumped a stack of colorful catalogues on Courtney’s desk. “Brochures for the last 10 years, so you can become familiar with the collections. Every day here can be a test, so be serious when you study them. Miss Fame will frequently ask for references, and sometimes she won’t give much information. You’re expected to be able to find ‘the powder blue tweed skirt’ or ‘the dress with the flowers’. It’s your job to figure out what Miss Fame wants. Never ask her for clarification.”

“Never?”

“If you do, she’ll be aggravated, and believe me, you do not want to experience her aggravated.”

“Right…”

“Remember, this will be fun,” Violet touched Courtney’s shoulder, a smile on her face. “You told me you love fashion, right?”

Courtney nodded. She was starting to have a sneaking suspicion that her idea of loving fashion was different from Violet’s.

“Here’s the company directory.” Violet put yet another document folder on the table, this time filled with laminated sheets. “All of these are obviously in the binder, section 2, but I made some laminated versions for your desk. You need to know this backwards and forwards. Focus on senior management first, they’re the most important, but you’ll be expected to name and know the other assistants. Know the support staff too, but that won’t be expected until at least your third week here. This-” Violet pulled another list out of the folder, “is a list of the company’s trusted vendors and consultants. Do not, and I repeat, do not, just use whoever you think will be able to do a good job.”

Violet waited for a beat to make sure Courtney had understood.

“And this is Miss Fame’s approved list - her close friends and trusted associates. Pay attention to it; none of the people here should ever have to wait more than an hour for a callback.”

“Is Adore on it?” Courtney’s eyes lit up, looking down at the list.

“This isn’t about your friend.”

“Right, of course.” Courtney added the new papers to the growing stack of material she was expected to memorize.

“Now...” Violet placed a brand new iPhone in front of her, which Courtney immediately grabbed, gasping when she turned it around and saw that it was the one in rose gold.

“Oh my god!” Courtney loved it. It was sparkly and fun and just what she needed after what felt like hours of white paper and black folders.

“Are you disappointed?” Violet looked genuinely sorry. “I can have it exchanged if you don’t enjoy pink, I simply thought-”
Violet extended her hand, ready to take the phone back.

“No!” Courtney moved so Violet couldn’t get it. “No! It’s fine! More than fine! I love it!”

“Great.” Violet pulled a chair up to Courtney’s desk, sitting down and looking at her gravely. “This phone is your most important piece of work equipment. It’s not a toy, and it’s not for your personal use, okay? I don’t want to catch you playing Candy Crush or screwing around on social media with this.”

Courtney nodded, already knowing now that she did not intend to keep that promise at all. This was the best thing that had happened all day; her new phone was going with her everywhere from now on. She glanced around the office to see where the best selfie light would be, already imagining the post with #firstday in the caption.

“You will never, and I mean never, leave your phone unattended during business hours.”

Courtney swallowed, her daydream of selfies completely forgotten. Violet sounded serious. Way serious.

“We do have an office line,” Violet pointed at the phone on Courtney’s desk, which had a corresponding model on Violet’s, “but any calls get redirected to our phones if no one picks up within the first four rings.”

Courtney nodded again, trying to commit everything Violet was saying to memory.

“Fame uses these numbers to get in touch with us, so you’ll have it on, even during nights and weekends in case Fame needs us.”

“Got it.” Courtney smiled. It sounded kind of extreme and she was pretty sure Violet was exaggerating. Who had their work phone on over the weekends?

“Good. Now remember, there will never be any excuse good enough not to take your phone if Fame calls during the weekend, and you will always, and I mean always, have it fully charged. Nothing is more useless than an assistant you can’t get a hold of.”

Courtney nodded, keeping a very serious expression on her face to match Violet’s tone.

“Always bring a notepad with you too. Fame is busy and if we can help it we never bother her with any follow-up questions, we just do what we’re supposed to.”

“Right.” Courtney almost bit her lip, the word starting to sound stupid to her own ears since she had said it so much.

“Last but not least,” Violet placed a keycard in front of Courtney next with her full name and photo on it. “This is your keycard to the building. We have one of the highest security ratings, so never, and I mean never, ever, ever, lose it. We can go through every door on every floor except for senior management’s private offices, though yours will work for Fame’s.”

“We can go into Fame’s office?” Courtney smiled widely, already excited about snooping around in the inner secrets of Galactica’s glamorous CEO.

“Just because we can, doesn’t mean we should.”

“Oh…”

“We are assistants, Courtney, and therefore the least important people in this company.”

Courtney wrinkled her brow. She was pretty sure she had just heard Violet say they had access to everything, which seemed pretty damned important if you asked her.

“We’re not here for personal gain or to have fun, but to make Miss Fame’s workday as easy and effortless as humanly possible. If we fuck up, we can get fired, so I hope you have prepared yourself for that.”

Courtney gulped, realizing for the first time how much responsibility was about to be piled on her slim shoulders.

***

Violet glanced at the clock. She had spent about an hour introducing Courtney to everything in their suite, as well as the most important computer systems. It seemed like the blonde was picking it up well enough, but Violet could also sense that she was getting tired and overwhelmed.

It was understandable, but annoying, since Violet knew how rare it was for Fame not to be in the office.

She checked her phone, a text from Juju’s assistant telling Violet that Fame was safely in the chair at the salon, and Violet decided that it was time to throw Courtney a treat.

“Courtney. Get your things, come with me and I’ll give you a tour of the building.”

“Yes!” Courtney smiled brightly, pumping her fist and grabbing her things, relieved to be allowed away from her desk.

***

Courtney hadn’t seen much of Galactica so far, and as she followed behind Violet, she felt like she was being swallowed up by a world of white. Everything at Galactica was kept sparkling clean, the floors in some places so newly polished, Courtney could see her own face.

The only thing breaking up the monotony of the long hallways and immaculate conference rooms were giant pieces of art that hung on the walls, Violet offhandedly naming painters and artists like Courtney was supposed to know who they were.

Violet showed her the office supply closets, the boring interior of it, shelves stuffed with post-its and binder clips almost seeming wrong in a place that was otherwise so slick and fashionable, before opening the door to “Max’s studio,” where some kind of photo shoot was in progress, a few models in chairs getting made up. Courtney watched for a few moments, a secret thrill rippling through her at the thought of someday being in one of those chairs, before Violet shut the door again, pulling her farther down the hall.

“What was that shoot for?!” Courtney asked excitedly. “Do we ever get to-”

“This...” Violet cut Courtney off, completely ignoring her. “Is Raja Amrull’s office. Her assistant’s name is Ivy, and she’ll be the closest thing you have to a coworker here.” Violet pushed a door open, and as Courtney stepped inside, she felt like she was taken to another world.

Raja’s office was filled with plants, the white walls and somewhat sterile look of the rest of the company exchanged with a lush explosion of warm colors. The assistant’s desk was heavy oak, while the cream white couch of Fame’s waiting area was replaced with a deep brown leather one that stood on top of what Courtney could only assume was a real Persian rug.

“As you can see, Raja doesn’t share Fame’s appreciation for Scandinavian design.” Violet smiled, and Courtney was pretty sure that Violet had just made a joke.

She was just about to open her mouth when they were interrupted by a redhead who came through the door from the outside.

“Violet!”

“Hello Ivy.”

Ivy was absolutely stunning. Her copper red hair was collected on top of her head, and she was wearing a beautiful green pantsuit that suited her perfectly.

“Ivy, Courtney, Courtney, Ivy. It’s her first day.”

“Pleasure to meet you.” Ivy held her hand out, a smile on her face as she shook Courtney’s, leaning in with a conspiratorial wink. “I know it can be a bit much when you start here, so let me know if there’s ever anything I can do to help you.”

Courtney just about swooned in gratitude, Ivy’s warm and caring nature so immediately different from anything else she’d experienced all day.

“I’m showing her around,” Violet explained.

“Do you want to check out the styling closets?” Ivy asked, a twinkle in her eye as she confided, “My favorite place in the company.”

“Sure!”

Violet checked the clock on her phone screen, sighing slightly, as Ivy led Courtney through a door in their suite to one of the most amazing sights Courtney had ever seen. When she imagined working at a famous fashion house, this was what she’d fantasized about. Racks and racks of clothes in every color, hundreds of shoes lining the shelves, every accessory you could ever want. Courtney’s mouth opened in delight; she had to resist the impulse to clap her hands and jump up as down like a child.

“This is incredible!”

“I know, right? Our own little slice of paradise,” Ivy said. “You know, sometimes when I’m cleaning things out, there are pieces up for grabs. I could maybe-”

“Thanks Ivy, that’s enough” Violet said. She leaned in to Ivy, muttering under her breath, “Let’s get her through the week before we promise her perks.”

“Violet,” Ivy admonished gently, eyes sparkling, but she went along with the request, closing the door.

“Wait, you mean we get to-” Courtney began.

“Courtney, come. We have a lot more ground to cover,” Violet said, ushering her out the door and down a flight of stairs.

Courtney followed along, feeling a bit more excited after what she’d just seen—the photo shoot and the amazing closet. Maybe this job would be exciting and glamorous after all.

“The 24th floor is basically everything not directly related to fashion and design,” Violet was explaining. “HR, accounting, operations. You should be sure to make friends with Shangela, the Director of Operations. She’d been here forever and knows pretty much everything about the management side of things.”

Violet opened the doors to a large bullpen. It was still white and slick like the floor above, but slightly busier, more office-like. Open cubicles with shining white desks, people bustling around, larger offices lining 3 of the walls, light pouring in from the big windows filling the 4th.

“Here we have marketing, which is led by Alyssa Edwards, whom you’ll get to meet soon enough.” Violet said, walking briskly through the space.

Courtney nodded, almost running a little to keep up with her, silently cursing herself for the sky-high stilettos she had worn for her first day - she would have loved to wear her 3-inch pumps, but after her interview she knew they wouldn’t cut it. But Courtney had no idea there would be this much walking in an assistant job; in her mind it had been a job mostly about sitting at a desk, fielding calls from designers and the press and being pretty.

“This is PR and social media. Pearl Liaison, who oversees that department, is notoriously difficult to get a hold of. She spends very little of her time at the office.”

“Where does she spend her time then?”

“Pearl goes to every fashion related event in New York City. She usually covers everything that Fame or Raja are either too busy to attend, or simply don’t care for.”

“Do we ever get to go to parties for Galactica? Like, as assistants?”

“No.”

“Oh…” Courtney bit her lip, a little disappointed.

“If you desperately need Pearl, tweet her.”

“Tweet her?”

“I’m trying to teach her to accept calls like a normal person.”

“Wait.” It almost looked like Violet was smiling, and Courtney suddenly remembered that she was pretty sure she had seen the woman in question before at the club. “Pearl? Isn’t she the one who-”

“Shangela!” Violet exclaimed, turning from Courtney towards a beautiful black woman in a pink skirt suit. “This is Courtney, Miss Fame’s new assistant.”

Shangela gave Courtney a quick once-over before shaking her hand. “Welcome aboard. You’re in good hands.”

“Thank you.”

“Violet, I know you’re still waiting on her to agree to pushing the Tuesday meeting, but I really think it’s important,” Shangela said. “Jaida and I need time to revise everything—you know what a mess everyone has been, we barely even have rough numbers.”

“I’ll do my best,” Violet said.

“Thanks, love.” Shangela gave her an air kiss and continued on her way.  

“Okay, so-” Violet said, approaching the door to the stairwell again.

“What’s that?” Courtney asked, pointing to a room where several employees were gathered around an espresso machine.

“The breakroom. You won’t be needing it,” Violet told her, pointing towards the stairs. “This way.”

They took one more flight down and Courtney could tell from the way Violet’s face got a bit dreamy that there was something truly spectacular underway.

“Twenty-three is where the major creative work takes place. The executives for our makeup line have an office here, and design-”

“Makeup?! Here?!” Courtney squealed.

“Where else?”  

Courtney knew, of course, that Galactica had a makeup line—a very high-end, exclusive one that she couldn’t afford herself, but she’d assumed that it was all done in some factory somewhere. The idea of having it in the same office was terribly exciting.

“Here’s where the designers work,” Violet said, pulling open a set of heavy doors, just as her phone buzzed in her hand. “Sorry, I have to- Hold that thought.”

Courtney tried to see the text that Violet received, but the other girl was too fast.

“Fuck! Courtney. Come with me!” Violet let the door to design close heavily, barely offering Courtney a glance inside, turning and racing back up the stairs in a panic.

“Violet, what’s wrong?!” Courtney ran after her as fast as she could, but the other girl was taking the stairs two at a time.

“Fame is on her way, her driver just texted me and she got in a taxi while he was circling the block, now come on.” Violet rattled it off, words falling from her like a waterfall, Violet barely even sounding out of breath.

“Is the tour over?” Courtney asked, panting. Damn, she was fast.

“What do you think?” Violet replied, her voice exasperated, her tone sharp as she rattled off orders. “Go to the coffee shop in the lobby, pick up a fresh latte, the barista will know her order. You’ll need to pick up breakfast from 10 too. Can you handle that?””

“From 10?”

“The tenth floor, are you even listening to-” Violet groaned, and turned on the stairs. “Courtney. I’m only going to ask you this once. Get your shit together, and get it together now.”

“I’m sorry!”

Courtney felt sweaty and disheveled by the time they made it back to their office, Violet throwing open a drawer and pulling out a wad of cash. She stuffed it into Courtney’s dress pocket and then shoved her out the door.

“Lobby, then 10! I’ll text you the order. Run!”

Courtney ran. By the time she’d gotten to the lobby, she had a series of texts from Violet with detailed instructions: exactly what the coffee order was (medium double extra hot skinny vanilla unsweetened almond milk latte, cold foam and 2 shakes of cinnamon), to remember to get a receipt and tip the barista (WRITE THE TIP AMOUNT ON THE RECEIPT), a reminder about Fame’s breakfast (her order’s been called in but you need to double check that it’s correct: egg whites scrambled with mushrooms and spinach, sliced tomatoes instead of toast, side of avocado--make sure it is SEPARATE and not touching the other food or it’ll get warm and she HATES warm avocado, small fruit salad with NO pineapple also in a separate container), and one last reminder, in case Courtney had forgotten the main objective, to HURRY!!!

She was in such a panic going back that when the elevator doors opened and she raced back towards the office, she didn’t even notice the imposing figure in a cream-colored coat strolling through the lobby.

When she did, attempting to stop short so that she wouldn’t crash into the woman, she had too much forward momentum to stop, and then everything happened in slow motion…

She stumbled in her heels, squeezing the paper coffee cup in her hand just enough so that the lid popped open, sending half of the contents sailing through the air, landing directly on said cream-colored coat.

As Courtney stood there in horror, blood rushing to her ears, Fame turned around, noticed the stain, and gave her a look that made her want to disappear more than she ever had in her life.  

Heart pounding, Courtney opened her mouth to speak, to apologize, but nothing came out. Instead, the next word either of them uttered was when Fame turned away from her in a fury, and shouted,

“VIOLET!”