#they have been for a few months actually but now they're far too gone and my knees hurt from short distances so.

[sol-flo]

they should make odometers for shoes tbh

[yesimwriting]

thinking about bestfriend!felix who's known for being touchy within his social circle, so when he holds your hand as you walk around campus and leaves giggly kisses against your cheek, your jaw, your neck after a few drinks, you think nothing of it.

especially because it comes up in conversation from time to time. everyone that hangs out with him regularly enough has at least one story: felix smoothed circles against my back until i fell asleep on the bathroom floor after a party; he's kissed the top of my head twice; i've never seen him end a hug first.

and you've seen things--at parties, while studying, while out with friends in general. so you genuinely have no reason to think there's anything strange or different about the way he treats you, and neither does anyone else.

at first.

one night, when you're still new enough to felix and his world that you feel extremely out of place at a party that he invited you to, he calls you over to where he and his friends are sitting. you walk over to them, greeting everyone politely before moving to take the available space next to felix.

he grabs your wrist before you can actually sit. you're confused, but given little time to react. felix mumbles an absentminded, "c'mere" before pulling you towards his lap. it's a little flustering, but you sit, because that's just how felix is.

okay. normal enough. conversation continues. no one thinks twice about it. farleigh thinks it's a bit of overkill, but just assumes it's a combination of alcohol and maybe an attempt at laying the groundwork to hook up with you a little later in the night.

then, someone asks about potential vacation plans over break and farleigh brings up an inside joke from the last trip he and felix went on. it's casual, but it's clear that felix is supposed to say something.

farleigh looks over in time to see felix holding one of your hands to his lips. alright. still not the most egregious display of platonic affec--felix takes his time pressing kisses to each of your knuckles.

it's not just the gesture. it's the way felix watches your reaction through his lashes and the amount of care in his focus. as if you're the only one in the room. there's a patience there that's practically devoted.

maybe farleigh had it wrong. he thought you were just one of those platonic friends that felix would cart around for a few months before getting bored. maybe it's more romantic, or at the very least sexual.

then felix's eyebrows draw together. "you're cold." you start to say that you're fine, but before you can get the words out, felix is holding both of your hands between his.

in the beat that it takes farleigh to recover from the slightly nauseating display, the rest of the group has gone quiet. they're all watching felix dote on you like you're the reason for the moon hanging in the sky. annabel whispers something about the "unsuspecting".

farleigh eventually tries again, directly stating felix's name. he finally looks up, a little confused, as if coming out of a trance. farleigh repeats his earlier comment, finally getting a reaction from felix. the group recovers because while the moment had been almost uncomfortably intimate for something so casual, this is far from the first time felix has started (casually) seeing an 'outsider'.

some time passes and you finish your first drink. when felix notices, he asks if you want another. you tell him that you don't mind getting your own, but felix is insistent. you stand so that he can get up.

a part of you wishes you could have found an excuse to go with him. the gesture, in theory, is nice, but without felix's protection, being left with his friends feels like he's thrown you to the wolves.

annabel, a little tipsy and now curious asks, "so, how long have you and felix..." she trails off with a knowing look.

you kind of get what she's implying, but it feels like too random and too unfitting of an assumption to be accurate. "oh, we've been friends since around right after syllabus week, felix ask--"

"no," she shakes her head, "i mean--" she tries again, this time asking with precise language.

your face grows a few degrees warmer. "oh." the slight laugh that follows the syllable is too genuine for it to be you playing coy. "no, it's not--we're friends."

friends. you genuinely believe it. annabel fixes you with a tight lipped smile that makes something in your stomach knot.

you decide that her question must have been prompted by you sitting on felix's lap. you've also heard enough stories about them to assume that they have an on again off again, sort of thing, and because you really don't want to make an enemy of her, you try to justify it, "that was just--you've known him way longer, he's just like that."

oh my god. he's fooled you. completely convinced you that that's normal. before annabel can really react, felix comes back. he hands you your drink and kisses your cheek before sitting down next to you. he doesn't ask you to go back to where you were sitting before, but he does keep a hand on your knee.

----

some bestfriend!reader concepts ft oliver

another bestfriend! felix blurb :)

bestfriend! felix and reader basically dating

[noonesgaylikegatson]

Here's the thing: Republicans are the party of the rich, but policies that help the rich fuck everyone else up, so they are inherently unpopular. Republicans hitch their wagons to white supremacists and religious fanatics who will gladly vote for them in hopes of bringing their own agenda. Rich people believe that their money is able to keep them unaffected by their social policies that harm mostly minorities.

Present day: Religious Fanatics and White Supremacists have gone too far. Their plans are so corrosive that they will actually affect the rich; Not to mention, there are a lot of nouveau rich who are also these fanatics.

So now, these rich people, "never-trumpers" want to join the democratic party and make it into a party for them. They are anti-progressive because they don't want to pay more taxes and they don't want more regulations. They want a milquetoast white democrat leader, and not one like Joe Biden who has embraced progressive policies and is now further left than 2008.

They don't want Kamala or Pete Buttigieg or Corey Booker or that skater boi from texas. They were to the left of Biden when they ran in the 2019 primary. They want someone to the right of Biden. A more corporate friendly democrat.

And keep in mind, these republicans have always been racist. And have always been white supremacist for them. This departure from the republican party is not a moral one. It's because the oppression that these Trump Republicans want isn't profitable.

These republicans were fine with rounding up Black people on bullshit charges and sending them to prison to do make them money on prison labor. (Biden ended the use of private prisons on a Federal Level fyi). They're not fine with rounding up 20 million undocumented people and putting them in internment camps and deporting them, that would cost so much money that would be better spent giving to them via tax cuts. (I bet you they'll get on board when someone touts the idea of using the undocumented people for unpaid labor)

They're okay with banning abortions or just limiting. They're not okay with stripping all of woman's freedoms (because many of them are women and like to spend the money they have) because women going back into the homes, means the spending power of the economy shrinks.

Less Women and Men of color going to college means less student loan payments. Not to mention, the policies that Trump will enact with Project 2025, would just wreck the economy. Government workers would lose their jobs. Facilities and infrastructure would crumble. The middle class would all but disappear, the gap between the poor and rich would grow, to the point where there is just no more money to extract from anyone in the lower classes. The money would have to come from them.

If trump gets in office by 2028 there will be so many evictions, its impossible to keep up. The rich would have to bribe police officers (made legal by the supreme court btw) to get people evicted. Not all rich people are rich equally. Those who can afford to bribe will be new upper class, those who can't will be suckers.

FDIC will be gone. So imagine you're one of those rich suckers, and the bank you have your money goes belly up cause the new upper class used it to fund their next yacht?

You can't be a tech mogul in a country with poor infrastructure. All that AI requires massive amount of electricity. How can you have any developments if your company shuts off the power every few weeks and there is no policy in place to keep it going, to fix it. Look at texas? Every hurricane gets rid of the power for weeks. Imagine when Project 2025 gets in and there really is no regulation at all.

What is the point of all this? Biden is the correct choice. He is the incumbent, he won the primary, and the election is less than four months away. This talk about replacing him is a bunch of rich assholes trying to take over the democratic party and making it into the new republican party. The literal worst night mare: socially liberal, financially conservative. They are antagonist towards the democrat's base: Black voters, because black voting population support centralized government, regulations, higher taxes, and a robust social safety network (because its literally the best way to govern)

Focus on getting people to vote for Biden or just not vote for Trump.

[introspectivememories]

obsessed with the idea of timbern baby. like it starts in the cult and bear finds this kid, literal child, in the cult and y'know he may be a depressed and suicidal bastard but he's not so far gone that he's just gonna ignore a literal child (let's call him luka) in the pain cult. and bear's been rising through the ranks, so he smuggles luka out and tells (read: lectures) him to stay out. except this is the first time anyone's ever really cared about luka, so luka just latches onto bear.

eventually bear starts letting luka stay over at his apartment bc whoever was taking care of the luka before clearly doesn't care if he was left unsupervised enough to join a pain cult. so it becomes this kind of family unit. bear wakes up, wakes luka up, drops luka off at school, then goes to class, comes home and makes some food so luka has smth to eat after school, fucks around with the cult for a few hours, and then goes home and tries to avoid luka's concerned glances. wash, rinse, repeat.

and this is going well for a good few years and then senior year of college, everything goes into overdrive. bear who has risen through the ranks of the cult has been chosen for the sacrifice and yeah, luka will be sad when he dies or whatever but he's got money set aside for luka. luka can live on without him.

and then tim comes back into his life. tim drake from high school. his tim drake. darla's tim drake. their tim drake. who likes skateboarding and photography and is maybe a little too serious about mario kart. tim drake comes back and for a brief, weightless, moment, bear thinks he can do this. he can do this life thing and want to live. he can take care of luka and watch him graduate and be friends with tim again. he can stop blowing off the people at school who want to be friends with him. he can live again.

and then, like he does with everything, he ruins it. luka sees him off on the night of his "not-date" with tim drake with a teasing shout of "don't put out on the first date dad!" bear whacks him upside the head. the not-date goes really well right up until the fucking cult kidnaps him and preps him over the course of the next few days for the sacrifice. as he greets the pain like an old friend, all he thinks in between the haze of getting whipped is that luka must be going out of his mind with worry. and then they have him strapped to the altar and he lets the wine they're practically waterboarding him with take him away. his leader raises the knife and bear relaxes. this is where he was always meant to be. he has no other purpose than to be the vessel. it's not like he meant much anyway.

and then, robin is bursting onto the scene and punching the leaders in the face and somewhere in between kicking ass and taking names, bear realizes he wants to live. like for real, for real. he wants to wake up tomorrow. he doesn't actively want to die. he wants to see luka walk the stage at his high school graduation. he wants to hear tim drake laugh one more time. so he lets robin save him and then goes home and lets luka sob and fuss over him as bear promises to be a better parent.

and that's it he thinks. he definitely scared tim off with the whole getting kidnapped and being part of a cult thing. it's okay, he tells himself, at least you got tim back for a little while. but then tim is showing up at his door like a week later and he wants to go on a proper date?? like an actual date. bear is overjoyed but wary. tim drake is tim drake-wayne and bear is bernard dowd who has been consistently fucking up his life since his best friend got shot and died in high school. he figures that this thing between them will last maybe what, 4 months, before tim realizes he can do better.

except it lasts long than 4 months. it goes on for almost a year before bear realizes that tim is here to stay. well, fuck, now he has to tell his boyfriend that he has a kid. lord knows, luka wants to meet him too. so he texts tim one day, can we talk? and tim shows up at the cafe nervous and panicky. and bear just fucking blurts it out. i've got a kid. he says.

what? tim replies. i've got a kid. like a kid i'm raising. like a son. he says. so you're not breaking up with me? tim asks slowly. what? no! and so he explains the whole situation and tim just laughs a little hysterically and goes how does this happen twice? except now tim wants to meet his kid. so bear brings him over and to put it gently, it's a fuckin disaster. luka hates tim. tim spends the next year trying to get into luka's good graces. it only works when bear gets kidnappped for umpteenth time and tim spends the two weeks bear is missing for, taking care of luka and spending lots of his considerable fortune getting bear back.

[familyvideostevie]

august: a no good at waiting one-shot

Almost a year has gone by since you arrived in Hawkins. You and your enemy-turned-friend-turned-love-of-your-life Steve Harrington are feeling a little restless as summer passes. Your anxieties will not leave you alone: Are you going to move in together? Does Steve want to leave Hawkins? What will you do if he goes somewhere else? It all comes to a head on a day spent at Lover's Lake.

fluff, angst, miscommunication, musings about making choices, and lots of love! [5.4k]

this is a one-shot set after the events of no good at waiting, a farmer's market au, so it's best if you read that first! | au masterlist

__

Everything is perfect.

Well, not exactly. But you're happy.

Okay, again, not the whole truth. You're mostly happy. You love living in Hawkins, you love working at New-Bee's and the library, and you love Steve. Your boyfriend, your short-lived enemy, your favorite person. Who is kind of pissing you off right now.

Almost a year has gone by since you arrived in Hawkins not knowing what you wanted or who you were or how things were going to go. This summer has been fantastic -- dates with Steve and nights with your friends, drives to amusement parks and county fairs and visiting Robin's campus. It feels right to be here and you're glad that you decided to stay. You think that maybe you've finally figured out how life is supposed to feel: like this. Like love.

But at the moment, Steve has you in a bit of a rut. A few months ago he told you he really wanted to go on a trip this summer. Something just the two of you, a week or two, exploring a new place. You loved the idea because you love doing anything with Steve, but for some reason he's hardly mentioned it since then. And with the end of summer fast approaching, you know your chances at getting away are running out. As far as you can tell, he hasn't planned anything secret. Sure, things have been busy: El broke her arm last month so Steve took on extra shifts, there was a huge storm that flooded some of the fields, you got a promotion and the library and thus more hours, his car needed new breaks. The stars haven't aligned but there also hasn't been any...effort.

And that's just one thing.

The other thing, which is maybe bigger and actually makes you a bit mad, is you've been focused on figuring out how to move in together. You live at Bob's still and while you spend a lot of time at Steve's loft you've talked about finding a place of your own and your loose goal was to have it sorted by the fall. But he talks about both the move and the trip like they're just dreams, far away things that will never actually happen. He's vague whenever you bring up the new apartments going up on the old mall property, about the for sale signs you sometimes see around town. He tells you that it'll work out, that he wants to be sure you guys have enough money to be comfortable.

Does he not want to move in with you? It's a silly thought, sure, but what else are you supposed to think? He's spending every minute he's not with you at the farm or on errands he's been calling "Hopper Missions" on some property just outside of town. It's like he's filling the time so there's no room to discuss the future, like he wants to pretend it'll be summer forever.

Being in an adult relationship is hard. It's lots of decisions and compromise and learning how to talk to each other even when you don't want to and you wouldn't trade it for the world. You know it'll all work out, you just wish that it was worked out already, so you could enjoy the end of the summer and stop worrying that your boyfriend doesn't want to live with you. You know that you should just tell him how you're feeling, but that's easier said than done. Every time you try you wonder if you're being oversensitive or ungrateful or reading into things too much and you back out. Feelings are hard, okay?

You're mulling over the weight of all of these thoughts at the market on one warm Saturday morning in August. Market day is routine by now. It was fun to be here for the start of the season back in May, but you prefer the high summer days when there are endless fruits and veggies to buy and everyone is full of energy and excitement at another day. By now you run the stand practically alone -- local kids free for the summer help you stock in the morning and unload and cover when you're otherwise occupied. You've expanded to four standard candle scents and try out a seasonal one every month or so and the soaps were a very popular graduation gift. You've just tried your hand at chapsticks and they're doing really well.

Most people in town call you by your name when they come say hi. It's a little slow this month, with seasonal allergy honey sticks being less and less popular as the season winds down. So you feel okay retreating into your thoughts until someone clears their throat. You snap out of it and find El standing in front of you with a paper bag. There's a crease between her brows as she watches you.

"Hi," you say. "Is that for me?"

She nods. "I said that you looked sad so Steve told me to bring you something because he's 'up to his ears in husk'. He said you didn't eat breakfast." She uses air quotes. You soften.

"Thank you," you tell her. She keeps looking at you for a few moments before giving you a smile and trotting back to the Sara's tent. Inside the bag is one of her newer experiments -- peach scones. It's fantastic. You munch on it and keep smiling at anyone who comes by, though it's maybe not as effusive as you'd like. You really want to talk to someone about how you're feeling (a voice in your head says that person should be your boyfriend but you ignore it) but you're not sure who to go to. Robin is in Boston visiting Nancy at her hot-shot job at the paper, Eddie and Wayne are on a fishing trip somewhere in Michigan, and you're not about to chat to high schoolers about your love life, no matter how much you like them. You're not sure anyone around here notices your mood like your friends do.

"Why do you look like you swallowed a lemon?"

Well, anyone but your friends and...Murray, it seems. The guy is a little weird, sure, but he's friends with Hopper and Joyce and he really buys "a fuck ton" from the market every week, as Steve once said.

"Hi Mr. Bauman," you say. He frowns.

"Cut that Mr. shit out," he says, though it's not harsh. You do this dance every time he comes to buy an alarming amount of honey. "Your mood is going to ruin the honey."

"I...don't think that's how it works," you say. He levels you with a stare that you think must have served him well when he was a journalist in Chicago, as you've learned he was. "I'm thinking about a place to live?"

"You sure?" he says, poking fun at your uncertainty. "You can live anywhere. Trust me. Cars aren't great, but they'll do. I'd avoid tents. Very damp."

"I guess I was thinking a house," you admit, looking at your fingers. You've never put this into words before and you're not sure why you're doing it now. "Somewhere not too big, maybe with some land so I could get a dog. Not in town but not too far from town." You sigh. "It's a dumb dream."

Murray doesn't say anything. You look up at him and he looks confused. His gaze darts between you and the Sara's stand where you can see the back of Steve's head. "Not the dumbest I've heard."

He slaps down a bill and picks up his usual jar and walks away without another word. Whatever, he's a weird guy.

The day winds down and you're a little too warm to be comfortable and you're just sweaty enough that you want to take a shower and you've stewed in your feelings for too long. Of course this is when Steve comes over. Handsome as ever in his work jeans despite the heat and a Sara's t-shirt he's cut the arms off of, he looks like the lead in a teen movie.

You're loading up the crates to take back to the truck. He squeezes your hip in hello before he starts to help. "How did New-Bee's do today?" he asks.

You shrug. "Average. You?"

"Every damn person in this town wanted corn," he says. "I swear it felt like we sold more than we did for the fourth!"

You hum. It's unfair that your mood has plummeted just as he's shown up and you don't want to take it out on him, even if you consider it a little bit his fault. Steve, for his part, is being a typical boy and doesn't notice. "Hey, listen," he says.

"Listening," you mutter.

"Let's go to the lake tomorrow." That gets you to look at him. He wipes his forehead with his pocket bandana.

"The lake? Why?"

"Everyone says it'll be hotter than today and I think we deserve a day to relax, don't you think?" He squints at the sky, shading his eyes. His arms look lovely like this. "I know we haven't gone on that trip so this is like, a mini trip! Staycation? I think that's what it's called."

"I don't know if a day at the lake in town counts as a vacation, Steve," you say. But even as the words come out you find yourself wanting to go because its something to do. You haven't been swimming in the lake despite Steve's summer bucket list item of skinny dipping. You've actually only been to the lake in general a few times, which is a bit strange since it's such a big place in your relationship. You kissed for the first time at the bonfire on the shore, you told him you loved him in the cab of your truck on a cold night.

"So, is that a no?" He's looking at you with a confused expression.

"It's a yes. Is anyone else coming?"

"No, just us. We can have a picnic or some cute shit, yeah?" He rests his hand on your lower back and maybe it's a combination of the heat and your mood and the universe but you don't want him to touch you right then so you pull away from it. You don't look at him.

"Are you sure you don't have super secret Hopper shit to do?" Silence behind you.

"No," Steve says, dragging the word out. "Hey, are you alright? Did I do something?"

You ignore his question. "Are you going to come get me in the morning?" Usually, you'd go home, shower, and then stay over at Steve's place. This is a clear line in the sand that you're not sure is fair to draw.

"Sure," he says. "But, seriously, what's going on?" You do look at him then. He's got a frustrated set to his shoulders and his brows are drawn like he's trying to solve a puzzle.

You chew on your lip, hands in fists at your sides. "Nothing," you say. He gives you an incredulous look. "Okay, I just don't want to talk about it right now." The last thing you need is to not talk about it but you can feel that you're getting actually bothered about this and you don't want to have a discussion that gets taken over by your mood.

"Okaaaaay," he says. It annoys you even more. Your own shoulders creep up to your ears. "I'll help you pack up and then --"

"No," you say sharply. "I can do it myself."

"Woah, woah, woah," he says. "Okay, alright!" He holds his hands up in the air and the fight wooshes out of you.

"I don't want to fight with you, Steve."

"Who said we were fighting? Do we have something to fight about?"

You close your eyes and tip your head back. It all comes out in a rush. "Steve, I love you and we spend so much time together and I keep trying to get you to talk about looking for a place and you just won't and you want to go on a trip but you won't actually plan it and you want to go to the fucking lake tomorrow and it's like you want to do anything except talk about this stuff and I don't really want to be around you right now."

You don't feel any better for having said all of it. In fact, your chest aches and your nose stings. You don't know if you can look at him.

"I didn't know you were that upset about it," he says finally. It sounds frosty.

"I didn't tell you."

"I can see that," he says. You still don't look at him.

The market is really closing up around you, fewer voices and commotion. You wonder if anyone heard this argument. "I can pack the rest. I'll see you tomorrow." You could have told him you don't want to go but maybe the lake is where you can squash this once and for all.

Steve seems to take the dismissal at face value because you hear him sigh. Part of you wants him to fight you on it right here right now, to sort it out so you can stop feeling so worried all the time. But he doesn't. Instead, you hear his steps and then feel the heat of him as he gently kisses you on the cheek.

"Okay," he says. "See you tomorrow."

And then he's gone.

"Fuck," you say to yourself. You shake yourself out of it and try to pack away the rest of the stall with as much speed as you can muster without breaking anything. The scar across your palm is faint by now but you aren't eager to get another one.

You're almost done bringing the crates to the truck when you hear your name. Will stands in front of your stall, a hesitant smile on his face. He's a sweet kid -- 18, soon, you think, so hardly a kid at all -- and you've gotten to know him a little more since you asked if he wanted to draw the labels for the chapsticks.

"Hi, Will," you say. "Sorry I didn't see you."

He's holding a single sunflower. "Sorry to bother you," he says. "This guy is the only one left today and El said you looked a little down earlier so I thought maybe you'd like it?"

You blink a few times. "Did you, uh, hear all of...that?" You vaguely gesture behind you as if the ghost of Steve is standing there with his arms crossed.

Will looks at you for a second, considering something. Then he holds the flower out and says, "Hear what?" Tactful kid.

"Thanks, Will." He tells you to have a good day and goes back to the flower stand. The sunflower stem is velvet-soft in your hand and the petals are a brilliant yellow. It's a bit lonely on it's own but you will put it in a wine bottle and keep it on your windowsill.

Imagining it there, the only stem, standing as tall as it can in the sunshine in your bedroom, makes you want to cry.

--

The thing you're most scared of is Steve wanting to leave Hawkins after all. You knew it was a genuine possibility when you started dating, knew that he wanted to explore the world just as you started to make yours here. You told him you'd go with him anywhere he wanted and you meant it then. But now you're not so sure. You love Hawkins and you love Steve. You don't know what you're going to do if one of them demands you leave the other.

Your mind churns as you go to bed and as soon as you wake up. Maybe he doesn't want to plan a trip because he's afraid he won't want to come back. Maybe he's afraid to move in together because he doesn't want to invest time and money into something he'll leave behind. Maybe he's already got plans and he's trying to figure out how to tell you.

"Stop it," you tell yourself in the bathroom mirror. You're prone to this kind of overthinking; it's why you made the huge mistake of running from him last fall. And while you know him so much better, know yourself so much better, sometimes it's hard to believe that you not only deserve nice things and a nice life full of love but that you already have them. And that's why you don't know if you can leave even if you told him you could.

You sit at the kitchen table in your swimsuit under shorts and a wax-stained New-Bee's t-shirt and feel a bit sick about yesterday. You know that Steve will come get you -- he would have called if he didn't want to go anymore. You don't leave each other in a lurch like that, even if you've fought. But you're worried that you've ruined the chance of a fun day that hasn't even happened yet.

The frustration with Steve still simmers under your skin. But you want to table it to have a bit of fun, if you can. You hear the crunch of his tires in the driveway and you grab your stuffed bag and head for the door. You're greeted with the sight of Steve getting out of the car and smiling at you a little hesitantly. He's in bright red swim trunks and a ratty Hawkins High t-shirt and sunglasses.

"What is this, Baywatch?" you ask him, breaking the tension. He laughs and meets you on the porch stairs to give you a quick kiss. You chase his lips a little but he doesn't call you on it.

"Well, I was a lifeguard," he says.

"Which I bet you did just so you could look hot in the chair."

"Obviously," Steve says. He takes your bag from you. "Actually, I taught kids to swim, too. Jesus, what's in here, a watermelon?"

You roll your eyes. "Just the essentials. Sunscreen, a book, some sandwiches, grapes, a water bottle, spare clothes, a towel, a hat --"

"Okay, okay, damn," he laughs, putting it in the back seat. You get in the car and he heads for the lake, windows down. He was right about the weather -- it's much hotter than yesterday already. It could be a nice day. You want it to be a nice day. But the churning your gut demands you address the elephant in the room.

When Steve reaches for the radio you catch his hand in yours.

"Steve," you say. "I do want to talk about yesterday." He doesn't look at you, chewing on his cheek and tapping the wheel in what you know is a nervous habit.

"Yeah," he says. "We probably should. But I also want today to be nice, okay?" He kisses the back of your hand.

"I do, too."

It's not much but it's enough for now. It doesn't take long to get to the lake. Steve takes you to a different part than where you had the bonfire and where you told him you love him. This area has a dock and some grass and a shore of sand and rocks that you can see from where he parks the car.

"There's no one here," you say, unloading the backseat. "Are we even allowed to swim?"

Steve grabs the blanket from his trunk and you spread it out on the grass. "Yeah," he says. "Five years ago or something they finished a project with some scientists or some shit to make sure the lake was good for swimming. They built this but honestly I don't think a ton of people come here." He shrugs. "Or they knew we were coming and left it to us."

"Lucky us," you smirk. You spread out your items on the grass before shimmying out of your shorts and t-shirt. Steve wolf whistles. "Gross!" you tell him.

"Sorry," he says, not looking sorry at all. "That's a nice color on you. Have I seen this before?" His eyes rake over you and you plant your hands on your hips instead of crossing your arms.

"Have we been swimming before?" you ask him.

He grins. "Good point." He pulls off his shirt in one motion from the collar like boys do and without another word sprints down the small hill and onto the dock, jumping off the end and into the water with a yelp and a splash.

"Such a child," you mutter, but you're endeared. He surfaces and shakes out his head like a dog.

"Okay," he says. "It's kind of really fucking cold."

You stop in your tracks, feet just on the edge of the dock. "Really?"

"No," he says. "It's only a little cold. Nice, though." You look skeptical.

"Did you put on sunscreen?" you ask, stalling.

"Yeah." Steve swims in slow circle. "Did you? I'll do your back," he says with an eyebrow wiggle.

"I did it already," you say primly. You knew that if you ended up touching too much on this date, you'd never get to talk about the stuff you need to talk about. "So no back rub necessary." Steve shoots a stream of water at you with his mouth. It gets your knees.

"It is cold!" you squeal. Steve looks too pleased with himself. "It's on, Harrington." You take a few running steps and cannonball into the water.

Honestly, once you've been under for a few seconds it's not so bad. You surface and find Steve grinning at you. "That was cute," he says. You splash him.

After acting like children for a little you both float on your backs, hands clasped, watching the sky. Your conversation and teasing fades and in its place returns your anxiety and frustration from yesterday.

Steve seems to think you're hungry. "Let's eat something," he says. "And put on some more sunscreen."

He gets up on the dock first and runs to get your towels. He wraps yours around your dripping shoulders and you stand in his arms for a second, hand pressed to his heart to feel it beat. You love him. You will work this out. You wonder if it's possible for something to go wrong not because you don't love each other enough but because you love each other too much.

"I made you a great sandwich," you say, pulling away. "And you need more sunscreen, too. Your nose is getting red."

"Wait, really?"

You settle on the blanket and lay out your lunch. Steve pulls berries from his own bag and you eat in a silence that is only a little tense until he tosses a strawberry top into the grass and sighs.

"So, I'm guessing now is the time to talk about it?" he asks.

"Do you not want to?" You don't want this to be a fight but you don't know what else it's going to be.

"No, of course I do," he says. "We need to, clearly." He crosses his legs, his tanned stomach rolling in the way you adore over the waistband of his swim trunks. God, you love him. That's why you have to figure this out.

"We do," you say, squaring your shoulders. "I'll start." The frustration returns full force. "What the hell have you been up to, Steve? You're busy all the time and I don't need to know what you're doing because I do trust you. I just don't get why you can't tell me what you're doing on these weird errands and you won't talk to me about going on a trip or moving and I thought those were both things we wanted."

"I do want those things --"

"I've been looking into what we can afford in Hawkins and thinking about places we could go and I'm busy busting my ass at the library when I'm not at New-bee's so that we can live somewhere nice. And it just seems like you don't actually care that much about moving in together because --"

"I do, care," he says over you. "I just don't want to live in Hawkins."

Time slows down. Your heart thunders in your ears. "What did you say?"

Steve looks stressed. He reaches for you but you don't want to touch him so you cross your arms. A look of hurt crosses his face but it fades quickly.

"Let me explain," he says. "I can explain it all. If I had known you were feeling this way I would have much earlier. Why didn't you tell me?"

You shake your head to clear it. He doesn't want to live in Hawkins? Well, what does he want? Does he want you, still? "Because I didn't think you'd make me feel this way," you say hoarsely.

He takes a deep breath. "I wanted to go on a trip this summer, yeah. I thought it would be fun. And then, like, two months ago, I started thinking about how I didn't actually want to leave Hawkins, but I also don't want to keep living the same life in Hawkins, if that makes sense."

Two months? Two months? The timeline rolls around in your mind. He's been thinking about this for two months and he didn't tell you?

Steve is still talking, apparantly not noticing your distress. "And we talked about looking for a place so I realized that maybe a trip wasn't a good use of our money even though I know we both work hard and are doing fine. And then I was on a drive the weekend you went to visit your family, remember?"

You nod. You'd gone home for a weekend and missed him terribly the entire time. Steve taps your ankle and you realize he wants you to reply. His eyes are wide like he's scared and he runs a hand through his hair. What is he scared of? "Yeah," you say hollowly. "I called you every night."

"You did," he says. "The first night you left I went for a drive all around the county, basically. Just to get out of town but not go too far. To do anything other than mope at my place after we hung up. And that's when I found it."

You aren't following. He leans forward and taps your cheek with his knuckle. "The most perfect damn place in the world."

"Don't tell me you bought a piece of land, Steve," you say. It doesn't seem like a thing he'd do and wouldn't make sense if he's just going to leave.

Your boyfriend just smiles at you. "No," he says. "I didn't buy it. Well, not really."

"Not really?" you say, incredulous. What the fuck is going on?

"I'm almost done explaining, I swear, honey." He runs a hand through his damp hair again. "It's maybe half an hour out of Hawkins proper. It's a real nice little farmhouse with lots of open space around it and I saw it and it felt like I'd been struck by lightning, or something."

The pieces start to fall into place but you don't dare hope. "Dramatic," you say.

"Hey, don't make fun of me!" Your joke seems to encourage him. "It looked like no one lived there so I figured out what the address was and turns out that weird guy Murray owns it."

Murray? Who you say yesterday at the farmer's market and who listened to you tell him about your dream property? That he, apparently, happens to own?

"He's not that weird," you mumble.

"He is weird but I don't give a shit because he doesn't use it and after talked to me he agreed to rent it to us for barely anything if I fixed it up a little first. So that's what I've been doing."

Steve looks at you, eyes wide and waiting. You blink a few times and try to take it all in.

"So let me get this right," you say. "When you haven't been working at Sara's or spending time with me, you've been fixing up a house that you're going to rent from Murray? And you told me none of this? For two months?"

Steve frowns. "When you say it like that I sound like the bad guy. Also, we're going to rent it." He seems to realize you haven't agreed to anything by the way his face falls and okay, maybe you're being a little unfair. Yes, he lied, a little bit, but it wasn't anything harmful. You just got in your head about it.

"I just don't get why you didn't tell me," you say, feeling small. "I was starting to think that you didn't..."

"Didn't what?" Steve reaches for you and you let him take your hands this time.

"Didn't actually want to live together. Didn't want to go on a trip. I don't know." You sigh.

Steve looks genuinely upset at that you've thought this. "Honey," he says, voice rough. "All I want is to live with you. This house is for us. Now that I'm saying it out loud I'm realizing I probably should have told you that at the start."

A whole house. You've imagined your first place together to be a dinky apartment on the edge of town. But a house? It's a dream come true. You bring Steve's palm to your cheek and lean into it.

"I thought we were good at communicating," you say softly.

"Apparantly not," he says wryly. "I'm sorry for not telling you. I just...wanted to make it nice and official first, I guess." His thumb strokes your cheek. "But you should have told me how you were feeling a long time ago."

"Yeah," you agree. "I'm sorry. Would have saved me some heartache and you some hard work. I could have helped!"

"You still can," he says, eyes lighting up. "It's not quite done. I still need to paint the outside."

You scoot forward so you're almost in his lap. "Where did you learn to fix up a house, Steve?"

"Hopper," he says. He fiddles with the strap of your bathing suit. "He's been helping. So I really was doing Hopper stuff, kind of?" He licks his lips. Another nervous tell. "So, what do you think?"

"What do you mean?"

"About the house. I know it's a lot and we're still kind of young but renting means we can change our minds and --"

You put your head in your hands. "Steve," you say, voice thick. "I'm still getting over the fact that I thought you didn't want to move win with me and finding out that instead you've found us a house."

His hands circle your wrists. "Only to rent!" he says a little desperately. "I mean, you might not even like it!" You allow him to pull your palms away. Your nose starts to sting.

"I will," you say.

"Oh no," Steve says. "You look like you're going to cry." He pulls you fully into his arms and flops onto his back on the blanket, taking you with him. You land on his chest with an oof.

"I've been really scared," you say into his bare chest. "That you were going to leave and I don't know if I can follow you because I love it here even though I love you, too."

"I know," he says. "But I think this is perfect. It's close but not the place we've been. It's ours until we want something different. And I don't think I want to leave because I want to be wherever you are."

"It's so grown up." You sniffle and he rubs your back.

"I know," he sighs. You can feel his heartbeat under your cheek. "What the fuck."

"What the fuck," you echo and laugh wetly. "Is the yard big enough for a dog?"

"Sure is," he says. "Do you want to drive by when we head home?"

"I do." He hums.

You sit in silence for a few breaths. "Steve?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you, but please tell me things next time, okay?" He looks down at you through long lashes.

"Deal," he says. "I love you back, but please tell me how you're feeling, okay?"

"Deal." You roll off of him and sit up. "Can we go see our house now?"

He grins toothily. "Hell yes we can," he says. "Well, it's not ours yet. Seriously, we have to work that out with Murray. I think we need a lawyer to draw something up? I don't really know how all that works --"

You kiss him in the middle of his sentence. "We'll figure it out."

"You're right," he says. He kisses you again. "We will."

thank you for reading <3 reblog, send feedback, masterlist here!

[accio-sriracha]

James and Sirius fluff in case anyone needs it <33

James always goes to Sirius first when he has exciting news and vice versa.

Sirius has his own room at the Potter's house but chooses to crash in James' because they're so used to being together.

They hold hands in the corridor and don't care if anyone else sees it.

Toxic masculinity? Never heard of it.

Sirius will sometimes let James do his eyeliner if his hands are too shaky (and those few times after Sirius broke his hand in a fight)

James will sometimes let Sirius do his eyeliner. (He definitely feels bonita)

AND HE LOOKS SO HOT

Constantly laying on each other. Feet up on the other' legs, heads on shoulders, laying across their lap, literally any manner of flung across the other you can think of.

Always touching in some way, both of them needing to feel the other so they can stay grounded.

They always greet by hugging each other, always, even if they'd only been apart for like ten minutes.

Sirius pretends to hate James waking him up early for morning exercise over the summer but he secretly loves the bonding time between them.

Sirius was the one to dub James 'Prongs' because he accidentally stabbed Sirius with his antler the first time he transformed.

James cooks both of their food and Sirius pours their drinks and sets the table, it's their routine every meal they're home for. They don't know when they started doing it, but neither of them have to speak to know this would be the arrangement.

Every morning after third year James woke up to a pillow to the face.

The only reason James disliked Wolfstar getting together was the fact that Sirius started getting up earlier than him and James now had to suffer through said pillow every morning.

They were actually the first guy either of them had kissed.

They don't talk about it because it doesn't affect their relationship at all, but they experimented a little after they both figured out their sexualities. It was the only person they both felt safe enough with to try.

James once went three hours without talking to Sirius because he was angry.

They both came running to each other to apologise fifteen minutes into the third hour because they couldn't take it anymore.

They've never gone more then twenty minutes without checking in since.

Sirius hates mimes, everything about them freaks him out. So, naturally, James dressed up as a mime for Halloween two years in a row.

When they graduated, they decided to go out and celebrate by breaking into the muggle zoo, transforming into their animagious forms and prancing around in the pens.

Sirius and James have not been allowed to go to a zoo since.

That Remus knows of.

James once helped Sirius make polyjuice potion so they could pretend to be each other.

Five days.

They made enough potion for them to sip on for five days.

The havoc they wreaked that week was unmatched.

James had gotten Sirius into nearly a month's worth of detention.

Sirius kissed Lily.

It was actually how she and James got together.

They never confessed it was actually Sirius because it worked out in the end, but James secretly loathes Sirius for stealing his first kiss with her.

Every once in a while after the others had fallen asleep they would sneak out to the astronomy tower together.

Sirius would point out all of his favorite constellations, explaining their stories and how they found their way into the stars.

James has so far not been able to look at the night sky without searching for the Dog Star near Orion's Belt.

James sings in the shower. Loudly. Sometimes Sirius joins him from the dorm room and they perform an epic duet. Much to the annoyance of Remus and Peter.

They were the bestest friends ever and yes, Remus, bestest is a real word.

[spooky-bunnys]

Hey! Can I get the new episode of Baby Haitani? I love your series and look forward to its new episodes!!

I was already writing it when I was asked this and I finished it as fast as I could. So here you go.

Haitani Baby Brother

Part 3

It's been many weeks since (Name) found out he was pregnant. He was extremely scared at first. But now he's excited. He's gonna have a pup! (Name) rubbed his slightly bigger stomach with a soft smile. His brothers on the other hand were gettingout of control if he wasbeing honest. They wee becoming more protective then usual. Which (Name) thought they couldn't do honestly.

He thought back to a few days ago. So far (Name)'s biggest craving has been Cheesecake for some reason. But Ran had gone with (Name) on his cheesecake adventure. When he ran into his ex. His ex took one look at Ran and how (Name)'s tight shirt showed his slightly pregnant stomach. Let's just say the Alpha wasn't happy about "his" omega getting pregnant. Ran nearly killed the guy if it wasn't for (Name).

But when the Alpha demanded that (Name) get rid of the pup he was carrying so he could carry his....well (Name) let Ran finish him off. Ran had gotten (Name) and his craving before quickly getting him away from the Bakery. Now that (Name) thought about it. His brothers have been very touchy on where he goes. They won't even let him go back to their work place anymore! Like they're trying to avoid him meeting someone....

(Name) sighed and ate another peanut butter covered pickle. Okay so he's started his weird craving phase and he's pretty sure he made his current body guard sick from it considering nobody even wants to be in the same room with him while he eats. He had an appointment today and he was just waiting for one of his brothers to come get him. There was always one of them with him.

Except when important meetings were held. Like now. (Name) changed the channel. He was tired of the news honestly. They talk about how bad Bonten was. What about how bad the government was? He shook his head and pouted when he realized he was out of pickles. "Oh! Maybe we have some honey! I can definitely go for some honey toast." (Name) walked past the long mirror in the hallway and froze. He looked like he was getting so big...

(Name) turned to the side and rubbed his stomach. Okay it was quite a bit bigger then last week. What the fuck? (Name) paled slightly. Why was he getting so big so quickly? The front door behind him opened revealing his brothers smiling happily before they noticed the nearly crying and pale (Name). The brother stood still. Not moving. Rindou slowly opened his mouth to ask what was wrong when (Name) started crying.

"Why am I getting so big so quickly?!" The brothers traded looks. Shoving one another to calm down their crying brother. Ran lost when Rindou kicked the back of his knee and sent him into the floor. He turned glaring at Rindou who was too "busy" checking the calendar. Ran stood and tried (hint word: tried) to calm (Name) down but the Omega kept crying.

"I'm too big for one baby! What if there's more then one?! No Alpha will want me!" The brothers froze and thought about his statement. (Name) indeed was bigger then usual for being almost 3 ½ months pregnant. But they haven't been able to go to many appointments due to Bonten. Ran shared a look with Rindou before carefully pulling (Name) close.

"Well maybe you have twins (Name). That's okay we'll love all of you and them the same. You don't need an Alpha when you have your Anikis!" That just made (Name) crying more. Ran started freaking out trying to get Rindou to help him out. Rindou rolled his eyes at his older brother but frowned in thought. Ran had done a few tests with the pup or pups their baby brother is carrying and they are Sanzu's.

The brothers have been doing everything they can to make sure they don't meet. They don't want (Name) getting heart broken and they know what'll happen if he's rejected. (Name) could actually die and the brothers just couldn't let that happen. He was everything to them. Rindou took a deep breath looking as serious as he could. "(Name) listen while your at the appointment with Aniki. I'm gonna look for that Alpha okay?"

Ran looked over at him with absolute panic. (Name) calmed down briefly looking at Rindou with tears still going down his face. "R-Really?" Rindou nodded his face so soft. Ran didn't understand. He thought they decided to keep them apart. Yeah Sanzu gives them money for (Name) and his cravings. But they could lose their baby brother and his their future nieces and nephews. Rindou gave Ran a look and nodded. Ran sighed in defeat and lead (Name) away to get ready.

Rindou didn't know what came over him when he got to Bonen head quarters and saw an upset Sanzu in his older brothers office. One second he was texting Ran about the appointment and entering the office next he had Sanzu against the desk. A hand wrapped around Sanzu's neck. The test results between Sazu and the pups. Along with a shirt (Name) had left in the panic room. "What are you doing in here?!" Rindou growled.

He didn't expect a whimper in return. He expected Sanzu to growl back at him. When Rindou's phone rang he didn't hesitate to answer still holding Sanzu down. It was Ran and by the sound of his excitement their earlier thoughts were correct. "Rin! (Name) is gonna have twins! Turns out one had been hiding behind the other!" He cold hear his baby brother sobbing in the background which made the hold on Sanzu tighten.

Ran hung up after talking for a few more minutes. Making plans on what to do with the pups. Rindou started down his co-worker. "Hear that druggie? Twins. You got my brother pregnant. With. TWINS!" Before Rindou could actually do any damage he was ripped off Sanzu. "Hey! I can smell the anger from Mikey's office! What's going on?" That's when the other members saw the test results and the pale Sanzu.

Takeomi slowly grabbed them holding them up for him and the others to see. "Are you serious? Were you still trying to get out of that!?" They looked at him in disappointment. Rindou glared down at him. "We just found out (Name)'s got twins." The air froze as everyone let the information set. Twins? Kokonoi was the first to break the silence. "Twins?? Are you serious?!" Rindou nodded not taking his eyes off Bontens second. Waiting for his reaction.

Sanzu slowly made eye contact with him. "He's having two of my pups?" Takeomi looked overjoyed while Kakucho and Mochi didn't look too pleased. "You were gonna leave that poor male omega with twins?" Mochi scoffed. "You call yourself a man?" "All I see is a little bitch." Kakcho growled. They've gotten to know the Omega over the last few weeks. He was too sweet to be left like that. He didn't deserve it.

Mikey made his presence known. "If you leave that Omega. Say goodbye to Bonten. You'll also never meet your pups since (Name) is under our protection. We'll protect him even from you." Everyone stared at him. He'd kick Sanzu from Bonten over this? Mikey then marched and stood in front and Sanzu. "I'm surprised you don't remember him." Remember him?

"(Name) was one of the students at my grandfather's dojo." Rindou stiffened. That's right but after an incident with an Alpha kid the brothers took him out. "I didn't remember until I saw an old photo of us at the dojo. You, me, Baji, and little (Name)." Mikey crouched down and gripped the front of Sanzu's suit. "(Name) was the Omega you swore you'd marry remember? The one you swore to look after and protect!"

Mikey swung hitting him right across the face. "The one who got attack by a Alpha just a year older then us! Now look at him Haruchiyo....pregnant with twins. You're twins I may add." Sanzu slowly lifted himself off the floor and stared at the ground. "So what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with your Omega? The one who you swore you were gonna marry and look after?" It was like something clicked in his mind and then Sanzu was out the office door making his way to the Elevators.

His Omega needed him. His pups needed him.....He needed them. When he hit the lobby he ran as fast as he could. He ran passed multiple employees. He ran outside and directly to his car. He had seen on Ran's calendar that (Name) had an appointment at 3pm but now it was almost 5. So he knew (Name) had to be at home at the Haitani brothers penthouse. So he'd go there.

When Ran got the call from Rindou that Sanzu was on his way. He didn't know how to feel. He was told how their co-worker had "claimed" their baby brother as kids and apparently had completely forgot about it. Not until Mikey reminded him of the promise from so long ago. He remembers (Name) excitedly barging into his room one day after his lessons at the Dojo.

(Name) began explaining how he met the most handsome Alpha and how the Alpha swore and promised to look after him and marry him. Not even 2 weeks after that (Name) had been attacked by an older Alpha kid. He remembers how scared him and Rindou was that they'd lost (Name). He'd barley survived the attack. Thats when they decided to hide him from the world. They homeschooled him and kept him safe and away from any danger.

Until Sanzu Haruchiyo stepped into (Name)'s life again. Getting the male omega pregnant with not one pup but two. Which was extremely rare for omegas much less male omegas. Considering male Omega's could actually push the pups out. He knew this pregnancy was gonna be rough. For all the Haitani's. He turned to (Name) seeing him watching a cooking show and eating....a cheesecake? Where'd he get that?

"(Name) where did you get that cheesecake?" (Name) turned to his oldest brother and shrugged. "It was in front of the door when we got here." Ran immediately smacked the cheesecake out of his hands. "(Name)! Why would you eat it then?! What if there's something in it. Oh my god (Name) puke up what you ate right now!" Ran stuck his fingers into (Name)'s mouth and a little down his throat making (Name) puke what food he'd been eating.

(Name) looked at the ruined cheesecake with a heart broken expression before glaring at Ran. Ran was just realized what he did paled. Ah shit. Now (Name) was locked up in his room. Yelling at Ran to get him more cheesecake since he ruined the one he had. "But (Name) there could've been poison in it! Think about what it would've done to the pups!" Silence. "Thank you. Now can you get me a new cheesecake? I want a cheesecake with strawberries and chocolate..."

Ran sweatdropped. Man pregnant Omega's were really weird. Ran pulled out his phone and texted Rindou about how (Name) wanted a cheesecake with strawberries and chocolate. Ran didn't realize how much they were gonna spend on the cheesecakes (Name) would be craving. Like who likes that much cheesecake?! While Ran was ranting about his baby brothers craving the door bell had gone off.

Ran stood stiff since he knew that wasn't Rindou. Rindou hadn't even gotten to the Bakery where (Name) Likes his cheesecakes. It had to be that specific Bakery or dear god. Ran slowly crept to the front door. Gun drawn and ready. When he looked through the peak hole he saw a shifting Sanzu. Wait....how did he get here so fast? Ran cracked the door and stared through it. "Sanzu. What can I do for you?"

Sanzu looked up determined. "I'm here to see (Name)." Ran stared at him. "If. That's IF! I let you in, what are you going to do?" "I'm going to do what I need to do. Be there for him and our pups." Ran looked surprised and then stared not believing him. "Well I hope you know we expect you to actually stay with him...Sanzu. Not pretend to care for I'm and the pups. Do you plan kn making him your mate?"

Sanzu didn't hesitate to nod. "Yes. I do. I want to be with him and be there there for him and the pups." Ran stared before slowly unlocking and opening the door completely. "Well just to warn you. He's in a bad mood. A mysterious cheesecake showed up and when I found out he was eating it I flipped. Threw it to the ground and made him puke the rest up. So if he doesn't get a new cheesecake he won't be happy."

Sanzu walked through the door and threw Ran a playful look. "His biggest craving had been cheesecake?" Ran nodded chuckling. "Oh yeah. He always has to have it." Sanzu laughed. "Cheesecake is my favorite sweet. Although it has to be from a specific bakery." Ran looked confused before looking at him. "Same with (Name)'s cheesecake craving." Sanzu grinned. Those were definitely his pups. No doubt.

If you want to read others. Click HERE

[lutawolf]

My Personal Weatherman and the D/s element Ep 2

I got my regular inbox from @notfreetoday I adore you. Thank you for always taking the time to explain things and cheer me on. So let's start this post off with some info from them. Also, if you haven't read ep 1 first, that can be found here.

"Oh oh @LutaWolf 💜 you might want to know - about the whole dryer/only 1 bedsheet thing - The author of the original manga clarified through a tweet that the line "it's been 3 years since then" that was posted in Ep 1 actually meant it's been 3 years since the convo they had in the library - at this point in the story they've only been living together for a few months. Hahaha, too many people were confused by how they've been supposedly together for 3 years but seem relatively new to each other"

For further elaborations from notfreetoday check out their post here.

Poor Yoh, he's already missing the D. Bless him. I personally feel this is a valid response to a lack of sex. I would likely have skipped making the cute doll and gone straight to the priest. But that's just me.

As soon as Segasaki enters the house, he's looking for Yoh. When he looks around and notices a dark home, he goes right to his room. Yoh is concerned because he thinks this must be due to Segasaki wanting food, but Segasaki immediately corrects this.

There is a lot going on. First, Segasaki knows something is wrong with Yoh. Okay so, it's been three years since the conversation but a few months of living together. Yet Segasaki already seems to catch on to things concerning Yoh, which I would expect from a Dom but not this fast. It makes me wonder how long Segasaki actually had been watching Yoh prior to even approaching him with the deal. Also, he left the door open when he left. Like offering up an invitation. Come out here. Come be with me.

Then in the next scene. There he is, immediately sitting down and being with Yoh.

Sure, he makes excuses as to why, but only Yoh doesn't realize their excuses. He's also being super considerate. He could demand Yoh spend time with him, but he's trying to find Yoh's boundaries. Then when Yoh goes to fix him a plate, he immediately stops him. Though it's in such a stoic way as to confuse Yoh.

A Dom can feel insecure too, and that's what I feel we may be seeing from Segasaki. Which is why we are getting attention seeking demands from him. That Yoh once again completely misreads. Segasaki wants to feel connected to him.

Again, he notices something off with Yoh and asks, but Yoh doesn't talk. And he doesn't push. The drink. I freaking love that he drinks from Yoh. I do this so often but have never seen it represented in a show or movie before, it tickles me.

These two are both so in love with each other, but they're both just stupid. Waking him up to make sure he goes and sleeps in a bed. Segasaki's sadness at being late and likely missing the Yoh making him dinner. You can see Yoh's instant sadness at being told not to make dinner for him. For all he complains about being a "servant" he sure does get upset when the duties are taken away. And let me repeat, in my opinion he is in no way a slave/servant, that's just how he views himself. It is not how Segasaki views him, and for a slave/servant he is given far too many liberties.

Here is the thing about M/s relationships. The master owns the slave. Slaves have absolutely no power. The best example is actually Hira from My Beautiful Man, prior to them developing a relationship anyway. Now, outside of fiction, the submissive 100% consents to this. This is not what we are seeing with Yoh. He is giving off all kinds of brat vibes, and Segasaki is allowing it. Which is why I'm saying what I'm saying about Yoh.

In general, M/s and BT/b won't be in the same room. We have a whole different view on D/s relationships. A Brat Tamer and brat will likely have experience in M/s relationships, but a M/s will have zero experience in BT/b relationships. Did I lose you? A Brat Tamer and brat when entering the kink community will often explore themselves and all the D/s spectrums, but once landing on BT/b, they stop. They've found themselves. A Master and slave will never explore BT/b, we either disgust them or confuse them.

I adore how he realized what he was doing and threw down the teruteru bouzu like it was going to contaminate him.

Ugh, why we got to talk about a woman's cleavage. Especially as another female. Why put a female down over fucking tits? I get that this story line is meant to sure as initiating the jealousy from Yoh. I personally don't appreciate it, though. They could have easily established it without discussing how a female should or should not dress. Honestly, though, I think they did it in order to put the woman's tits on display, and I'm not mad at it. I hit the pause button and gave suitable appreciation for the support that bra was giving her.

Segasaki is completely oblivious to anyone other than Yoh and given the opportunity of getting home early to him. He is taking it. Sorry party lovers.

OH, that look Segasaki gives after the initial "huh!" is a look that I'm sure had subs alike backing up from their screen. That look, is a Dom's I'll be damned, look. I personally got giddy over it. Yup, "You have the nerve to do this when someone is holding back?" The fact that he was allowed to push him away, and rather than getting punished, Segasaki begins cleaning up after him. That's a Brat Tamer and brat. Each Dom in my opinion has a different type of patience. You can't beat a Deep Dom when it comes to play but lifestyle, that's hands down a Brat Tamer. We are more likely to be charmed and amused by things that would set other Doms off. But there are no doubts that he is Dom. He said stop drinking, and he isn't backing down.

Oh, that shut up takes him by surprise and pauses him. His face tightens in annoyance, but he waits and listens to Yoh. He is not too happy when Yoh says that he'll make lots of money and get out of there. He wants an explanation, but his brat pushes him away. These two are a shitshow. A train wreck that I can't look away from. Drunk Yoh is a brave and talkative Yoh. On the bright side, we are getting mush needed things said.

Oh damn, there is lots of anger there. Yoh is very pushy, and let me say that only a guilty Dom would put up with that shit. "You never smile at me like that."

"I'm tired. I'm tired when I'm with you. I hate it."

And I have just fallen in love with Segasaki as a Dom. I've been falling since the first episode, but now he has cemented it. When Yoh says this, Segasaki becomes self reflective. Sure he's sad, that's expressed in facial expression and body language, but he isn't mad, and then we see that he's appreciative. Which he expresses to Yoh.

He rubs his head, "You talk a lot when drunk." Then he smiles. Ohhh, I was wrong about the rain. It happens people. I still maintain that he saw Yoh's anticipation and enjoyed it, though. You are not going to convince me otherwise. Segasaki was trying to respect a boundary. Meanwhile, Yoh is like, "Can't we buy a dryer." Bro isn't good with just going and buying an extra sheet. No, homeboy wants a dryer so he can get that D on the regular without worrying about sheets.

OMG! I love these two so fucking much. Segasaki is like, you accepted my proposal, and now you're saying you don't want it. Giving a whole new meaning and light to it that has Yoh scrambling to catch up. Segasaki calls him an idiot. He also asks Yoh if he hates him and when Yoh says nothing, he says whatever and rubs Yoh's head. Though this time it's not affectionately. I think he knows that Yoh doesn't really hate him, but he doesn't know how to get the relationship on track either.

The next previews look promising and I'm excited!

Hope you guys enjoy! 💜💜💜

[theotherseapancakes]

Psssst. You mentioned no one cares about Philemon, but now I'm curious if you have any thoughts about his role in the games after he disappeared. And for sillies sake, does he have anything to do with the Dance games?

I have been waiting my entire life for this. Anon do you realize how verbose I'm going to get. DO YOU REALIZE? I hope you like read mores. Let me preface this with I am aware and have seen some popular theories, so I'm going to sidestep a lot of them and present one I've built since... well, I became a Persona fan as a teenager. MAJOR PERSONA SERIES SPOILERS LIKE THE ENTIRE THING OK? OK. yes even royal.

The P2 PSP additional scenario is so incredibly important and I think everyone missed the point of it. THE PERSONA 2 PSP ADDITIONAL TATSUYA SCENARIO!!!! It's beyond important, because it reveals to us Philemon can have more than one Avatar we know about, just like Nyarly. (Casual reminder he's like half the shopkeeps in P2. Time Count, anyone? Why was the Time Count so hot. Anyway.) Disclaimer: I'm just a casual fan who has played a LOT of Persona and SMT. I haven't gotten around to all of them, but I've played/finished both paths of 1, 2, 3 (and p3p) as well as 4 and 5. Didn't manage to get my hands on Golden but I've seen enough of it. (It's funny you ask about the dance games, they're the only ones I don't have right now! But my roommate does, and will be gone for a few months soon, perhaps I will take the time to start with p4DAN. I'm atrocious at rhythm games though so more than likely I'll find a video. Anyway.) WHAT is Philemon? If we can't define that, we can't talk about The Positivity Guy Ever.

So let's talk about Phil. He's a fascinating character. His Persona is just a form of Himself, But Cooler. And he seems to HAVE no set shape, not unlike Nyarlathotep. People have various theories about Shadows and their origins etc., but Phil is more like that vote of confidence in people. I think, personally, that after the end of Innocent Sin, Phil's been pretty weak. We see in Eternal Punishment he's fading pretty roughly, and has a hard time talking to the party. Presumably ending Nyarly might to some degree fix things when Deja-vu Boy goes home, but... the problem is, we don't know how fixed they truly ended up being, or the full depth of how much he could/did expend!

In fact, the first time we even see Phil without the dumb mask is when Tatsuya decks him. Pay close attention to that fact. To the mask motifs here. I want you to really soak in Phil's everything. He's a leader. A kind soul. He's the good of people. He wants to believe the best.

Anyway, most of these things overlook what I find really interesting as we've gotten more games worth of lore: he and Nyarly aren't the only eldritch entities walking around like that. Yes, Nyx is one too. Yes, it's probable she may even be their 'mom'. It's possible they all came from Nyx initially, but it's also possible (and should be considered) they too may have been outsiders at one point. We need to ask ourselves how far the human collective unsconsciousness can go. Is that sea infinite? Could it affect other worlds? Think about Aion in Devil Summoner Soul Hackers 2. Yes, I am asking you to think about Soul Hackers 2. Deal with it, I don't care. They're sister series. They share many things. SO! Did the shape of the human mind change a bunch of eldritch creatures and make them interact with us even more after Nyx smacked the moon a gazillion years ago? Is there multiple worlds? Weird bullshit? Just the two? Hmm. Well... I, personally, think so. I think he was touched by humanity just like Nyarlathotep, but in the other way. The reason I bring this up is two-fold. The first is Nodens. Now, we don't know much about the actual Nodens, unfortunately, just some speculation. Which is a shame. (If anyone has more info I'd love to have it, ngl. As a pagan this shit fascinates me.) But what we do get on him in Lovecraftian lore can provide us some intriguing possibilities about Phil's everything, which the games love to keep really rather vague. (And this is putting aside that his human Persona is based off the obviously bogus Jungian Spirit Guide, but we love an old guy in a mask anyway. He probably felt that was more 'friendly' for humans, hah.) I believe that Nodens, and Phil by extension, are just as responsible for nurturing and keeping the collective unconsciousness alive and positive. We see the butterfly symbol everywhere. We see it with Lavenza, too. "This is truly an unjust game." So was the bet Phil made with Nyarly, a game he rigged. Phil made the mistake of thinking the Crawling Chaos wouldn't cheat, a mistake he is never making again, I assume, if he can help it. Shit, you could view his boss fight in P2EP as him trying to train the EP crew to beat the snot out of Nyarly, even. But off topic. If Nyarly is basically the father of all Shadows, and they and Personas are the same coin, it makes me wonder a lot of things. The two have always been portrayed as simultaneously diametrically opposed, but also not? They have identical halls in P2. They have similar powers and talents... I think after Persona 3, Phil's remnants sank into the Collective Unconsciousness, to attempt to rehabilitate humanity from what it lost, from what he himself lost. I think Igor took over the room, because he took a backseat to recover. It would go a long, long way towards explaining why only SOME characters have the tier of the Wild Card, which is similar to the 'original' Persona power. (Having multiple.) He was took weak to remain in his Spirit Guide (Philemon) form, and had to abandon it to return to the depths as Nodens... So. Let me go back to Nodens and make some notes about design.

Nodens, as seen here, sort of resembles an iron maiden. It really brings to mind the idea of maybe Tatsuya or someone's humanoid form sleeping within it, doesn't it? Fitting for an aspect of Philemon! ... You probably can see where I'm going with this, but let me pull up some screens to finish the point:

That's right! It's Azathoth, Baby! I believe that unlike mythology, he's yet another aspect of Philemon. Eldritch positivity, in too much force, could be used for accidental bad, too. (Reasons Maruki is my favorite Law Hero, haha.) Let me explain. I think Philemon always existed in... let's call it parts. Azathoth is said to be a dreaming god in whom's universe we all just happen to be alive inside, right? "Dream of butterfly" (Philemon) "Or is life a dream? Don't wanna wake up. Cuz I'm happy here." That sure is thematic to what Maki goes through in Persona 1, and what Maruki's beloved suffers, isn't it? ISN'T IT. The "true reality" he creates... would help Maruki create in the additional Semester--would be something most humans would never pass the muster to even try to control. But we have seen Phil test a few people and find them worth passing before! However, that seems like ages ago. Why has he been so quiet? I think because he was spending time conserving his energy. He believed in humanity enough to give Makoto a push when it was needed in p3 (or femc, if you play her), but otherwise trusted Igor while he restored what needed it. But in Persona 5 Royal, he hand-picked Maruki, didn't he? At first, when I played Persona 5 Royal, I really thought it was some part of Nyarly, but I no longer believe this to be the case. The coloration and symbolism in the background (the golds, the whole garden of eden themes, the way his Palace was laid out), the whole sea of soul motifs in P3Re later... mmm. I have a lot of thoughts about this, but this post is already way too long for one simple ask. So let's wrap up by going one step further and looking finally at Nodens' dialogue to the party in the Extra Scenario in Persona 2: Eternal Punishment (PSP). The following is a transcript, you can find a video here:

Nodens: This is the memory of the lost child whom you all seek. Nodens: Memory occasionally brings about much distress and suffering, but it is absolutely vital to distinguish oneself from others and manufacture one's own psyche. Nodens: Ever since it began, life's memory has accumulated unbroken, passing through individual experiences and spanning several generations. Nodens: And so it has given shape to Kadath and the Collective Unconsciousness, thereby becoming a foundation for the next generation. Nodens: Even if the roots of the world are directed by fear and anxiety, never forget that the true essence of life is brimming with joy. Nodens: You must not stop seeking the answer for why life was born in a cosmos progressing towards absurdity and chaos. Nodens: Life brims with joy, bringing about balance in a universe predestined to heat death, and that allows the world to live a long time.

So to answer your question, I think he's taken a much subtler role. I think he's influencing people by pretending to be a Persona for Maruki, because he believes it will help them grow. I don't think he was intending a forever-control vice grip, but rather to prove a point. No matter what, the primordial chaos of humanity will rise up for chaotic good, lawful good, whatever "good" is needed. Azathoth is... interesting. Adam Kadmon is also interesting. But mostly I HIGHLY suspect we may see him again in Persona 6, or at least I'm hoping so. It's my personal pet theory by then he'll be less faded and come back to us in a new form of some kind. He's never had a set one, after all. Now for funsies about the dancing game, well, he's a positive guy, he wanted to just make sure everyone had their fitness regimen checked off. Obviously. (This is a joke.) Did the devs intend this? I'm honestly not sure? Like there's a lot of nods to older Personas in 5 and now 3RE especially, but it's definitely worth chewing on. I could go on and on about things I think he's connected to, but ultimately they have the final say lol. I'm just a crackpot conspiracy theorist on tumblr who really likes Philemon. He and the Room are my favorites. :) Ask me about attendants for additional dumb, sometime, I guess lol.

[doodlegirl1998]

This is pretty much my reaction to the BNHA 430 leaks.

Following that, I don't actually hate the idea of Izuku becoming a teacher to inspire the next generation but the way Hori and the other writers go about it is poorly executed (what a SHOCKER, am I right?). It feels so forced to make Izuku all sad and lonely that he can't be a hero anymore. But like...there are examples of characters who either have weak Quirks or Quirks they can't rely heavily on and they can fight.

Aizawa-This discount version Kakashi and Kalego (from Iruma) can fight off villains and Nomus with his magic scarf even when he can't erase their Quirks.

Little Aizawa Jr. (aka: Shinso)-The only student that Aizawa took the effort to train properly because we all know Shinso before that, he relied heavily on his Quirk. After a few months, he can use the magic cloth just like Aizawa.

Stain-Yeah, he's technically a villain but the point still stands due to his reputation of killing several Pro Heroes. His Quirk allows him to temporarily paralyze enemies by licking their blood but you know, you gotta be able to fight to even do that.

Himiko Toga-Another villain but still worth mentioning, this discount Mystique can only transform into a person physically by drinking their blood (only able to copy the Quirks of those she has a strong connection with) but she is shown to be good at knife combat, being able to beat a Pro Hero (though we don't know how strong Rock Lock really is).

There's probably more but the biggest one I'd like to mention is known other than Knuckleduster. He is literally in the same position as Izuku (having lost his Quirk) but he still remains a hero despite this, his sense of justice not wavering. Heck, KD is basically what Izuku should've been, both in the beginning and in this epilogue (just not as violent and tactical).

Just imagine seeing adult Izuku (an ACTUAL adult-looking Izuku) in class teaching his students and encouraging Dai and after the day is done, we see him in a new costume fighting some petty criminals off the streets. He then monologues (INTROSPECTIVE, a word the writers kinda forgot about for Izuku), saying that despite losing his Quirk, his drive to help people has not gone. He's continued to work out, gaining about 5-12% Full Cowl levels of strength as well as support gear from Mei (honestly, I'd rather see these two together over Ochako. Or even Melissa. They would have Izuku's back far more than his classmates).

Hi @ultimateemerl 👋

That was my reaction to the final chapter too.

Also I agree, I would have loved to have seen Izuku as a Knuckleduster-esque hero (using support gear from Mei and Melissa' support Industries) doing teaching alongside this to show that even after losing OFA, he can be a hero.

Having Izuku waiting on All Might (and Bakugou 🤢) to save the day with the Iron Izuku suit felt OOC and forced. At the beginning of MHA, Izuku would have found a way to act as a hero himself rather than wait on outside help.

Speaking of that, how and why did none of Class 1A act to help Izuku during this time? Especially when Momo, Iida, and Shoto have the funds to do so, and Momo has her creation quirk?

How did Izuku seriously get left in the dust for six years by his classmates and friends (aside from the odd text) because they're "so busy" when now there's a bloating of heroes and a decrease in villains? I sense some fake friends who left Izuku in the dust as soon as he could be of no further use to them.

So yes, I would also prefer to see Izuku working with Mei and Melissa over Class 1A as a collective at this point.

[atarathegreat]

The End of the World is Beautiful. Kyle 'Gaz' Garrick.

Gaz wasn't usually one to worry and hang off his team, but here he was. You were just trying to get to the center of the city without being eaten alive by the old inhabitants while Gaz made it his duty to be your actual backpack. If not for the gun in his hands, you were positive you would've been carrying him.

The atmosphere of the city was somber, dull, quite literally dead. Even so, with all the dead wandering around, it was undoubtably alive. Ten years. It only took ten years for the vines and trees to take over the concrete jungle. The roads that were once driven on were cracked, the sidewalks were grassy, and the towering buildings were lattice for the vines to grow up to the sun. It was beautifully morbid how everything was dead and bright all at the same time, all with the haunting melody of moans and groans from the once human creatures stumbling around.

"What did Price say we were looking for?" Gaz kept his voice low, not wanting to draw attention from the wandering flesh bags that wanted to eat his face. You thought it was cute that he was a little scared over the whole thing. It was unnerving, sure, but after ten years it felt no different than how the battlefield used to feel with living humans shooting at you. "He told us to keep an eye out for scavenged stores and areas that could've been used as shelter. It's been a week with no contact from Scav Team, so lord knows how far they made it."

The two of you had been tasked with finding the Scavenger Team, a team of six who had gone on a mission a month prior, and lost contact a week back. With the population falling in the areas closed off, and the open areas were infested with the dead. This city was the largest unreclaimed place thus far, and losing any team was practically a death sentence.

Fingers crossed that Scav Team was alive and well.

Gaz's hand wrapped firmly around your arm, just in time to pull you out of the way of a big dead bastard. The poor guy was probably a body builder before he was turned into... this. You were thankful to be out of the things way, if not perturbed by its lack of clothing. Perhaps he was in a shower, with a lover, just staring at himself when he was turned.

It made your chest feel strange, heavy, and light at the same time to think of others having complex lives like yours. Somewhere, there is a conscious being, thinking, and planning. They have a past, present, and future, just like you. But this naked gym rat was no longer thinking about work or partners. Rather, the next thing he could rip open and eat.

You nodded your thanks to Gaz, keeping quiet with that thing so close to you.

While you were busy contemplating life and it's complexities, Gaz was focused on you. He'd always been partial to staying at your side, and it only got worse when the outbreak happened. There was too much unknown and Gaz could not handle it. What if you were hurt? What if he never saw you again?

Price had been compelled to send Ghost with you, knowing how your mind seemed to wander when you were on slow missions, but after a few days of Gaz's childish begging, the team was changed. Gaz wasn't too proud to admit that, yes, he had fallen to his knees and gripped John's desk while saying he would scrub latrines with a toothbrush. He would do it a thousand times over to make sure it was him beside you in these missions. There was no level he wouldn't stoop to.

"We need to get silencers and just-"

"We can't waste ammo." You interrupted, already reaching for your knife, "Silence is key, but we need to keep bullets. They're not exactly getting manufactured right now."

The other thing Gaz loved about you was how efficient you were. Always aiming for the head, especially now. It was mesmerizing to watch you slam your knife into the back if these things necks, severing the spinal cord and killing them quickly.

For the rest of the time, Gaz refused to let you do all the killing. Keeping you from getting surrounded was his main goal, and he only had to waste two bullets. All the same, he was glad it was him with you, making sure you stayed in one piece. As the sun disappeared behind the skyscrapers and overpasses, with the moon making her appearance, Gaz was glad to have the higher ground. Of course, after ten years of no maintenance, the overpass could easily crumble and kill you both, but he prayed it would stay.

"Gaz, look at this."

You were bent over the window of a car, a small Mazda with sparkly blue paint and velvet rims, not a combination Gaz would choose, but sure. The sign scratched into the side was clear as day to him, the Scav Team had been here. "We might as well bunk here for the night. See what the guys left and if we can follow 'em from here." He helped you through the moonroof before wiggling in himself and tugging the glass closed. It was never safe at night with those things, but it was safer than sleeping out in the open.

In the back seat was blankets and coats, four duffel bags labeled 'clothes,' 'food/water,' 'ammo,' and 'medicine.' On the floorboard was the team's dog tags, a letter, and the bunsun burner. The letter, dirty and speckled with blood, read;

Whoever comes looking, we didn't make it. Charles got ripped up, but we couldn't leave him. He ate Andes and Evan. I'm the last one, but I won't make it back with all the supplies. Andes is outside the window and Charles is trying to open the top window. No man left behind, right?

You covered your mouth as you passed the note to Gaz, tears filling your eyes. The Scav Team were dead, and this little Mazda was all they had.

"Shite..." Gaz was fighting tears himself, "Fuck..."

"What do we do?"

That was something hated about you; how easily your sad and defeated voice could make him crumble. How easily you made him feel like it was his place to comfort you.

How easily he let himself do it, "Tonight we rest, radio Price to inform him and request extra hands. In the morning, Ghost and Soap will be here, and we'll take everything back to base." Gaz leaned the driver seat back and grabbed the big blanket, tossing one side over you and the other over him.

"Until then, try not to think about anything."

[peachjagiya]

I hope you don’t take offense to what I am about to say cuz i’ll speak freely. I think the issue here is, so many taekookers kept talking about how much Jungkook didn’t want to do the show and even went as far as claiming that he was forced to do this show no matter how much Jungkook verbally proclaimed how much fun he was having and how he loved the show. Let’s also be serious here, does anyone really believe that Jungkook would have continued shooting in other locations if he hated the first experience in NY? Before someone comes up with the contract excuse, I need to remind everyone that this show was never the company’s idea. It was Jimin who thought of it, told Jungkook about it and then pushed at the level of the company to make it happen. I had never gotten chance to watch ITS friendcation with Tae because honestly I am more a music fan and their variety shows or other healing shows kinda bore me but I recently watched Friendcation and it was Tae too who wanted to film the show with his wooga squad and from what I understood from what they said at the beginning, he was the one who took the idea to the company and they let it happen. So I don’t think it’s fair to claim that Jungkook couldn’t back out of the show even if he didn’t like it because he was contractually bound.

Right now if I were jikookers I would gloat too because so many people have claimed that Jk looked miserable, looked disinterested, didn’t want to do the show at all or didn’t see the point but from his own words we know that is far from the truth. Not only did he declare how much he loved the show and how free he felt during the show, he also thinks that out of all the trips he been on in his life, these trips for AYS were the best. He also mentioned wanting to go back to the start of their trip so anyone still claiming that Jungkook didn’t love being on that show is not being realistic or reasonable at all. He could have just not said anything if he didn’t feel that way because ofcourse he couldn’t say he didn’t enjoy the trip if he didn’t (or maybe he could) so knowing how blunt Jk can be if he said he loved it, then he loved it. So I think it is wise to just stop with all the stuff about him not liking it or not not wanting to be there because nothing we have seen and heard from him supports that line of thought. He clearly looked bummed that the trip was ending, him and Jimin, and someone wouldn’t feel that way if they didn’t enjoy the trip. I feel like those trips to him, were an opportunity for him to break away from his excessive work load for a few days and just unwind, have fun and eat to his hearts delights. In hindsight, I think it was a great Idea that the show was there to film as after watching his documentary and seeing just how much he worked and pushed himself, I think those few days inbetween schedules to just have fun did him some good.

This is just me stating my honest opinion and I hope I didn’t say anything condescending or rude.

Honest opinions are fine and you're welcome to them.

The only thing I want to query is that jimkookers should gloat. What is this victim storyline? Oh well they're only gloating cos we were so mean to them?

They spent a couple of weeks saying JK visibly hated Tae, laughing at misinterpreted jokes to make it look like JK wanted him gone, mocking their short lay down. Did they all bow at our feet when he finally said it was better with Tae? No they absolutely did not. What they did was just carry on. Cos they perceived events a different way. And I couldn't give a fuck if they do that.... until they get pissy when others do it.

I have never, in my life, been to a JMKK space to "gloat." Or to say anything actually. I've often wondered about their thoughts on things and I just haven't ever. It's not my space.

Imagine if the tumblr Taekookers reacted to, for example, Hawaii this way. Ran into Jikook spaces to "gloat". Because as you say here, we had plenty of reason to. After months and years of "JK can't stand being around him" and "Tae just lies" that became too much even in the short time I've been around, there was vindication. Yeah, we could have gloated.

I bet if we'd done that, the first thing the jmkkrs would say would be "why hasn't this made you feel good?"

What actually happened is we just had a couple of exciting days being dorks about it, feeling good and happy in our "community" here.

So they should go do that.

[tea-and-secrets]

I feel horrible about this, but it's escalated to a point where this issue could destroy my life if I don't find a way to stop doing it.

So, for some reason, I get these really intense, obsessive, really disturbing fascinations with people. There's no pattern to them, no specific personality type or anything that sets it off, and I have never had more than one or maybe two per year, although they don't usually last more than a few (3-5) months. They're NOT hyperfixations. I've been hyperfixated on people before. For me, it never lasts more than 2 months (usually FAR less) and is entirely platonic, not at all violent or distressing, and doesn't make me upset in any way. I've had hyperfixations and an obsession at the same time, once I had an obsession and hyperfixated on each of his main friends within a 3 month span rapid fire style.

These obsessive feelings are like. Needing to talk to them, intrusive thoughts about hurting them, wanting to find them IRL (even if they live states away), to show up where they are, to call them at ofd hours, constantly imagining a future together, and they're always very romantic/explicit in nature. They make me feel physically ill from how gross they are. They're like nonstop intrusive thoughts of a relationship, but with this intense desire to constantly act on them and a need to be around the person all the time. And not being close to the person makes the intrusive thoughts worse.

It has never happened with someone I have actual romantic attraction to, but it happens even if I don't know them in person or we never met IRL. Usually after they fade I feel ambivalent or cold or just vaguely normal about the person. So basically after a few months of agony it sorts out and I am free usually for 8-10 months. I've never dated someone I have an obsession with. I understand them enoughto know they wouldn't mimic intrusive thoughts if they were genuinely romantic feelings. Plus, they don't last. They always fade eventually and honestly, they seriously freak me out. I don't want to have murderous intrusive thoughts when someone doesn't pick up a Skype call. That's not my idea of romantic.

Usually, I just wait for these feelings to pass, or limit contact with the person, but this time. It's so much worse.

The person is my friend, and way too young for me. He's not a minor, he's just to young for me (4 years younger, its my personal thing). He's taken, not my type, and I've always seen him as a pesky younger brother of sorts, so I never even considered this would happen. Having these feelings about him makes me feel violently ill. I've tried ignoring him and pushing him away until they stopped, but he noticed and I feel guilty punishing him for a problem that's only in my head. It isn't his fault there's something wrong with me. But I dont know what to do. If I told him about it, I'm worried he might think I like him (I don't think I do, I know how my obsessions are and it isn't love) and based on comments he's made, I'm worried he might actually try to rope me into a polycule or shoot his shot with me. Neither of those would be good places for my mental state.

I also really don't want our other friends to hear about this because I have a crush on one friend who's way older than me (we're both adults but we would NOT have gone to high school together ha ha) and I still want to hold out hope that in a few years she might see me as a viable partner (a bi can dream...) which would be jeopardized if she knew I'm basically a freak of nature.

So I need to figure out how to fix this part of me, FAST. I can't keep doing this and I'm scared things will fall apart or I'll lose it trying to fix this but I'm scared of losing everything.

I wish I could just have been born normal but I wasn't and now I have to fix it. It doesn't feel fair, and I hate it, but I want to be normal and not have to deal with this anymore. I want to just be okay, and I don't know how. I just know that normal people don't do this and this scares me. I don't want to hurt people, I don't want to be like this, and I don't know how to fix it, so I just suffered in silence for years. And now I have to fix it and don't know where to start. I just needed to tell someone about it.

.

[nicosraf]

I’m sure I speak for all of us when I say we desperately want to hear all your baal and lucifer thoughts!! I’m foaming at the mouth begging for crumbs, barking like a wild dog

Warning for major Angels & Man spoilers. I'm sorry for this long essay but I'm stuck in a lecture for this certification thing and bored.

So I'm thinking about immeditaely after the demons re-group and Lucifer leads them in building their caves. Baal falling to Lucifer's feet and swearing his allegiance. He says he's been fighting in honor of Lucifer's memory in all the time that Lucifer has been asleep. Lucifer is angry, though — maybe he slaps him — and he asks why Baal thinks that he's worthy of trying to continue the devil's legacy. Baal apologizes, says he didn't mean to continue it, just protect his memory, to worship him in life and death. Lucifer asks why Baal wants to worship him, Baal says Lucifer is beautiful, and Lucifer glares. Baal adds that Lucifer is powerful and wise, too, but Lucifer's already angry and maybe turns his back on him.

Regardless, Lucifer still offers him the title of duke within a few months. (He might be angry at Baal, but he's probably the most loyal among the demons). Whenever they're alone, Baal tries to touch him, lowers his voice, but Lucifer denies him over and over. It's only until Baal is hopeless, not even trying anymore (sleeping with other random demons), that Lucifer finally takes him to bed. (It was a test; Lucifer wanted to see if Baal would remain loyal even without the promise of sex. Baal has passed, but Lucifer doesn't seem happy with him, he never does.)

Baal carves a room to sleep in close to Lucifer's chambers but not too close. Baal starts modifying his body. He has a fixation on Michael; sometimes, he thinks of how far Lucifer and Michael might've gone in their relationship and pisses himself off. He imagines that Lucifer has become violent because of Michael. He imagines Michael must've hurt Lucifer. Baal tries to make himself stronger and bigger, scarier too.

Baal spends a lot of time beside Lucifer, sees a lot of his spells of anger and grief and violence. He offers to take over some responsibilities. He wants Lucifer to focus on being happier/calmer. Lucifer agrees, but because he plans to use Baal as a way to shift blame; whenever the demons need to be punished, he'll send Baal, whenever things need to get done, he'll have Baal scream at them. The demons will hate Baal and love Lucifer. Lucifer does, however, use most of his new free time to sleep and tend his gardens; so, he is a little calmer, and Baal is happy.

It takes centuries for Lucifer to let Baal actually sleep in his bed. One day, though, I think Lucifer wakes up cold and trembling, and he walks out, sees Baal, walks up to him, grabs him by his tunic, then drags him to cuddle in bed without a word. It takes another long time before Baal gets to sleep there frequently. Lucifer stops kicking him out post-sex; Baal eventually moves his stuff to a tiny corner of Lucifer's chambers, and Lucifer pretends not to notice.

Their relationship is rocky. Lucifer takes out most of his fury on Baal. Baal just takes it, sometimes unsure why he bothers being so loyal, but every time he thinks of stepping away, he comes crawling back.

Cain changes things though. Lucifer becomes a lot gentler. In front of Cain, Lucifer is very sweet and only playfully mean to Baal, and even when Cain isn't there, Lucifer stays a little nicer. Baal sees that the young, sweet Lucifer he loved in Heaven is still alive. Baal also sees Lucifer having meltdowns over Cain's safety, panicking and hyperventilating and pulling his hair out. Baal holds Lucifer tight as he cries and gasps over Cain being hurt or lost.

I'm trying not to ramble too much about Cain right now, but I think Cain mends a lot of their relationship. Lucifer is a little gentler, and Baal sees how hurt Lucifer really is. And they both adore Cain, even after everything that happens with Abel. Lucifer is a mess when Cain walks off on his own after the murder, and Baal is there for Lucifer.

So why is Lucifer still so mean to Baal in A&M? A part of it is an act. A part of it is trying to push Baal away. A part of it is trying to push himself away. Lucifer doesn't want to love anymore. Love drove him crazy in the past. He especially doesn't want to fall for someone like Baal, who he thinks isn't very bright or powerful or special. But.... Baal holds him really tenderly sometimes and Lucifer feels safe. And even happy, sometimes.

[ejunkiet]

ej's adventures in romance: the good, the bad, the ugly

i've had kindle unlimited for the few months, and have been on a deep deep dive into all the recs from the romance genre that i can get my grubby little paws on. I've read.... many, many books. so many.

I've made a rec list of my new fave authors in the genre before, and this is not that. I'm just gonna list what I've read, by tropes, with ratings, and you can read my full reviews on goodreads. I've gone there. there are quite a few of the booktok hits here, because they came up on rec lists, and I'm gonna give my honest opinions on them okay. my goodreads!

Before we get down and dirty, have my actual recs from the last month: Heather Guerre remains a diamond in the rough, although she can now be joined by a further two authors: Kathyrn Moon (smutty RH queen) and Zoey Draven, a surprise last minute entry that doesn't shy away from darker themes, but handles them maturely.

other recs are the obvious: Talia Hibbert, Katee Roberts, and our very own @dominimoonbeam (whose book Doors I've been reccing a LOT lately, as I love it so much, and the sequel will be out soon >:3)

Okay. lets do this. this gets long, be warned. >:3

the "grovel" trope

books where the MMC fucks up and tries to make up for their mistakes. a good read where you get a healthy dose of angst and then a lot of making up for it. can be a great cathartic read.

Cate C. Wells has a whole series dedicated to this, "the five packs", one of which I already recommended as a guilty pleasure: the lone wolf's rejected mate". Now look, these books are ridiculous, the worldstate is terrible, each pack is a dude fest that reeks of misogyny, but they're pretty fun. I've read book 1 and book 3. I want to stab the MMC of book 1 with a rusty spork. you can skip it.

the lone wolf's rejected mate however is a ride, with a broken MMC who rejects his soulmate because he thinks he's too broken (literally, his wolf tries to kill her), and then they get captured, save each other, and he builds her a treehouse, yada yada. mind the content warnings, but if you want to read something OTT that basically epitomises the craziness that is the PNR and "grovel" romance genre, read this, and hold onto your butts.

the paranormal romance genre: shifters, vampires and more

Heather Guerre's books. okay, so actual recs. She focuses on characters from working class backgrounds with a sprinkle of the paranormal thrown in, everyone is over the age of 25 (thank god, most are in their 30s), and she can really write. I won't tag Eeshley again, but the "Tooth and Claw" series was their rec and *chefs kiss*. this is still the self-published romance genre, so these books could use an editor/polish, but honestly, I'm a big fan of her writing, and have picked up all her books. (her contemporary romance is also excellent.)

post-apocalyptic trope

Claire Kent's books. Imagine Joel from the last of us as a book series. I've only read Last Light so far, which is the prequel to a longer series that explores life in america 5+ years after an asteroid collides with western europe, causing global environmental catastrophes. I'm not 100% sold on her world building, but this is a romance novel, and the way she writes the characters and their relationships are human and organic, and the most realistic I've come across so far. the world state is the walking dead, with evil biker gangs that rape and pillage. i'm assuming this is an american thing, but can't comment on what it'd be like in the UK considering we no longer exist, due to aforementioned asteroid collision. probably for the best.

omegaverse and reverse harem tropes

yeah, I thought omegaverse was just a fanfic thing too. it's not, and it is super prevalent in het romance. it was never really my thing in fanfic, and the fact it is not a shifter thing was very surprising to me, as knots/packs/heat/rut still exist, but it's just humans with animalistic traits. I kept on waiting for the motorcycle gang in 'baby and the late night howlers' to turn into wolves, and they never did.

So Kathryn Moon writes some delicious reverse harem books. I read the first of monsterfucker series 'a lady of rooksgrave manor' years ago, and liked it, although there wasn't enough plot for me to continue. she writes excellent smut. Seriously, just really, really good smut. BIG FAN. I've been making my way through her 'Sweetverse' series, which has more connections and actual relationships between the characters, and polymances, and I recommend starting with Lola + the millionaires, if you can handle a little omegaverse. mind the content warnings, this is a book about recovering from trauma, which happened in the first book (baby's book, although offscreen. Lola has a lot of flashbacks in italics.)

Otherwise, you can stick with the monsterfucker books! I bought her latest monster series off of regular kindle, instead of KU, and I'm really excited to read it hehehe

"mars need more women" and "fated mate" tropes

hehehe okay HERE WE GO. these books are all about women ending up on planets where due to some sort of cataclysmic event - disease, mostly - 80% of the female population of the planet has died. now as we're not here for angst, the arrival of these women are usually due to some other species abducting them, and they are then "rescued" or recovered after a crash on metaphorical mars, which needs a better sex ratio to ensure the survival of the species.

this trope is coupled with "fated mate" tropes, where basically the rescued/recovered women end up with a devoted alien husband, who yearns until he can win her over (we're all about consent here folks)

the ice planet barbarians series by ruby dixon. this is basically na'vi aliens that crashlanded on an ice planet 250 odd years ago, and have made it their home, living in tribal colonies. to survive in this planet's toxic atmosphere, they've taken in a native parasite called a 'khui' which helps their bodies adapt to the climate and atmosphere. the women in the books also receive the same parasite to survive (they're given the choice), and this is the basis of the "mate bonds" formed throughout the series.

now book 1 is a rocky start, and the weakest of the series. I nearly put it down because of the first 20 pages. you can skip the first 20 pages. it basically recounts the abduction of the women from their home planet, and mistreatment by their captors (tw for sexual assault of a side character, not explicit). the ship malfunctions, and the women "cargo" are dropped onto the ice planet, where they are found by the not-na'vi, who are called sa-khui, because of the parasite.

now the rest of the series is about adapting to life on an alien planet, understanding the culture of the sa-khui, and gaining a devoted alien hubby. look, I read four books in a week. they're fun, they're exciting, the smut is good, and it's an easy read. it's also written by an experienced and practiced author, as the topics are handled maturely, it doesn't take itself too seriously, and it has great representation.

(one of my favourite books in the series, book 7, is centred around Lilah, who was born deaf and had a cochlear implant that was surgically removed during the abduction. the book focuses on her struggling to adapt to life on the planet, aided by a sa-khui that rescues her and learns ASL to communicate, and it's an excellent read okay)

I'd say read book 1 (maybe skipping first 20 pages, or even to part 2) for context, read book 2 (my favourite of the series omg), and then pick and choose from there!! I've read 1,2,4,7, and I'm gonna end up coming back for more hehehe.

"choosing theo" is another in this genre, but it didn't quite vibe with me. it leans into the 'rescued human ends up on a planet that needs women for propagation', with a matriarchal society where the men go to husbandry school to learn how to please women, and all residents of the planet are required to participate in three month long marriages to try to find potential mates to propagate the species. the premise is a fun one, but the first book is not the strongest, and I didn't continue from there. (another rusty spork for the MMC...)

dothraki in space trope

we're at the end of my trope list! I liked the ice planet barbarian series a lot, and I'd kept on seeing the Horde Kings of Dakkar by Zoey Draven recommended, and they are good. (thank you woofs >:3) think dothraki from GoT in space; humans live in small, poorly maintained colonies on the Dakkar planet, where they aren't allowed to hunt or damage the earth. offenses are punishable by death. these books lean into the captive trope, and handle the issues of the worldstate and navigating cultural differences super well, with a heavy dose of consent and BAMF heroines that rise up to their situation and make a place for themselves in their new (objectively better) lives.

i'm on book two now, and I love the maturity in the characters and the writing (which I did not find in 'choosing theo'), and they're an excellent romp. fantastic rec, really glad I picked this up >:3

am I finally going to take a break from my reading binge now? I keep on saying I will, and then not doing that ahahahaha. my kindle library is still stuffed full, mainly with other books from my fave authors above, but also some nice space horror to round it off.

next on my list is gonna be either 'Haunt, Heart, Havoc', a horror romance that I've been meaning to read forever, or 'Dead silence', which is aliens meets titanic in space. >:3 if you read all of this, KUDOS TO YOU, have a lovely sunday ahahaha!

[alloftheimaginesblog]

Headcanons for being Sam Winchester's ex-girlfriend and moving to Storybrooke where you end up falling for Killian Jones...

After you and Sam break up, you need a clean break so you do the insane choice of putting a map on the table, closing your eyes and pointing... and that's how you ended up moving to Storybrooke.

The hunter lifestyle was too hard to maintain a relationship but there's a lot of love still between you and Sam but you need to move for both of your own good's.

Storybrooke is a small town, quiet which is exactly what you need right now. You weren't planning on staying long-term, maybe a few months and then move on again but in order to get over Sam, you needed a nice quiet town to just pass the time.

You hadn't imagined how important Storybrooke and the townspeople would become for you.

Immediately, you fall in love with the town. It's right out of a story - literally - and the people are so welcoming and... familiar.

It isn't long before Henry, the nice young boy, latches onto you and is telling you all about the town and the people. Turns out they're all quite literally ripped from stories.

It's insane but you can't help but believe him. You had just been in a relationship with a hunter who hunted literal angels and demons. Why wouldn't you believe him?

It's pretty cool learning everyone's fairy-tale and then getting to know them, strange but cool.

And then... you meet him.

Captain Hook or his actual name of Killian Jones.

He is nothing like the Disney movie.

He's handsome and charming and flirts so much.

"I thought you were swearing off men and relationships," Ruby nudges you after witnessing you ogling Killian. She had quickly became your close friend in town and of course you'd told her all about your previous relationship and Sam.

"I never said I wanted to be in a relationship with him," you roll your eyes, "but I didn't say I couldn't look and have a bit of fun."

You and Killian flirt but in actual fact, he annoys the fuck out of you. He's rude and is so unbelievably arrogant. The two of you clash a bit with the occasional flirt.

Killian likes teasing you but knows exactly how to push your buttons and go to far and sometimes he does it for fun. He likes seeing you mad; likes seeing you stand up for yourself against him.

He likes that you're a strong woman who doesn't just take his shit, he likes when you stand up for yourself and your friends. It's admirable.

There's been quite a few times where the two of you have been the last one at the bar and he becomes human to you on those nights.

"What are you drinking for tonight?" He asks sitting next to you.

"To forget." It's honest. You want to forget your past life, the hunts you'd gone on with Sam and Dean where you'd nearly died or one of them got hurt. You wanted a clean slate and yet you found your past kept sneaking up on you.

"A man, I presume," Killian says eyeing you, "Takes one to know one, suppose. I drink to forget a woman."

You like those nights. You chat about your old life and each time you meet, he opens you up a little bit more. He finds you fascinating. He doesn't bat an eyelid when you tell him about the monsters and the hunts, he's seen it all before.

After those nights, he still does annoy the shit out of you but you start to have feelings for him. He's lonely, like you, and sad, like you.

Then you're whisked away to Neverland with the actual Peter Pan who's a bad guy?! He's cruel and Disney done fucked up with their portrayal of him.

"Aw man," you groan as Killian tries to explain everything to you, "I can't keep up with this shit. So Peter Pan's bad, you're a good guy... What the fuck?"

And while you're on fucking Neverland, Killian saves you. Killian saves your life and in doing so, he ends up getting hurt. And to twist the knife that little bit more, right before Pan hurts Hook, he forces his admission of having feelings for you out of him before he strikes.

You're crying as you're trying to save him but you don't know how and then you realise, "This is all fucked, right?" You sob, "But this is all a fairy-tale so then true love's kiss should work, right?"

You kiss him and... he's saved.

There's no time to talk about it, you have to kill Pan first which when you all work together, you manage to succeed and it's only as you're coming back to Storybrooke on the Jolly Roger that you and Killian finally talk.

"I swore to myself that when I moved here, I wouldn't get into a relationship or fall in love, Killian." Killian's heart sinks a little bit as he thinks you're going to reject him.

"Sorry to have put you in that position, love," he nods, staring out to sea, "if you wish to never see me-"

"I don't want to not see you, Killian, that's not what I'm saying. I'm trying to say that I swore I wouldn't fall in love or get into a relationship and then... you happened. And... I'm not mad about it."

He kisses you, passionate and hungry, and from there, your relationship blooms. You're able to move on from Sam.

(And of course, one of the first things you do when you get home safe is introduce him to the Disney version of himself which he is frankly horrified at).