#they have to be using crush as source material there's no fucking way

[pyschologicalrocketgirl]

Richard Siken Driving, not Washing

[uselessheretic]

Izzy Hands and His No Good Very Tragic Love Story

Season two came out recently (if you haven't noticed!) and within the first 3 episodes we've gotten to see a side of Izzy showing a great amount of depth and sympathy towards him. This is especially around his declaration of having love for Edward, confirming a long held fandom opinion by some that the lil guy is just cranky because he has a crush.

For most of the last year and a half, it seems that the main fandom interpretation of Izzy Hands and whatever the fuck is wrong with him was that Izzy was homophobic. For a while, it was actually controversial to suggest that Izzy was in love with Edward at all!

For some, Izzy's confession debunks their previously held understanding of Izzy as a homophobe. For others, they might just go with the "he's gay and homophobic, duh" reasoning. I'd really encourage anyone who's seeing a new side of Izzy to go back and rewatch season 1, but try it through a lens of assuming that Izzy's in love, not bigoted, and see which narrative is stronger.

But no matter your interpretation, I think we can confidently say that the creators' goal with writing Izzy has never been to make him homophobic. There's examples from the show I can use to draw out an analysis of why homophobic Izzy doesn't hold up under scrutiny, but right now I just wanna give y'all some background onto what has already been confirmed by word of god.

David Jenkins had already confirmed at the end of season 1 that Ed and Izzy are a romance. A dark and toxic one, but a romance nonetheless. He has also reiterated the same in recent interviews as well.

The writing of the show has a focus on not relying on queer trauma to create conflict. Ed and Stede getting together isn't ever blocked by homophobic forces, jim's story isn't defined by transphobia, and nobody's past is scarred by homophobic (or racist) bigotry. The writers have said that this focus on queer trauma was something they wanted to avoid.

Taika has said a few times that nobody is ever against a queer couple because they're gay, they're just upset that jealous. The context makes it pretty clear that the only characters he could be referring to is Ed, Stede, and Izzy. He also emphasized that being gay is just the pirate way.

Con o'Neill has also specifically said at a panel in June that Izzy isn't homophobic, he's just heartbroken.

There's also been con goers who've spoken with Con about queer narratives where Con had added on that yeah, gay people can be homophobic, but Izzy isn't. He just hates Stede's guts.

If the creator's and actors' intentions are undeniably that the character isn't homophobic, then maybe it's time for us to revisit the source material, and try to see what they were actually trying to say.

[angellic-critique]

Honestly my biggest fear is to end up writing my characters the same way vivzie does, I feel like she doesn't even try on certain characters(female characters and literally any other that isn't her "uwu baby boi must be protected at all costs" characters like stolas, angel dust). Like imagine completely missing the point of your own character/srs

to everyone pre-release worries and anxieties just as much as I have-- Please take this time to read or explore different interests of books or authors of subjects and genres you like ! In the era of internet where the golden age of information is rusting into brainrot, the less time online anymore the better. I've been taking javascript/python tutorials for myself attempting to make a dating simulator for literal years at this point and its bounced around to the point of where I branched off to develop my own murder mystery 2-d sidescroller !

I wish for this to be a farewell letter to the crushed hopes and dreams I had for the original hazbin pilot and crew has moved on to other things whereas viv attempted to spitefully keep a story she clearly doesn't have any passion over- it is very evident over her lack of care for her own characters purely for the monetary gains of attempting and sadly wriggling her way into industry the way she did is so abhorrent to the world of genuine art and animation I grew up with.

Has Vivzie ever read a Felix the Cat comic strip or Dilbert even Hägar The Horrible? Does she even know about the history and strive of depth that animation has been at for hundreds of years? Does she even like comics, clearly not if she doesn't even have the patience to write her own and horribly rush whichever story she's interested in that day. I've never seen a careless writer be this selfishly unashamed to write literal garbage and surface level 'intrigue' of design and then falling flat face first at EVERY step. Hope she becomes as unbearable of a director as John K. is because honestly even though I'm cringing making that comparison, it's pretty fair in my book considering the outright ABUSE she has always trying to talk or hoard artists into her 'pet project' I recommend above anything else to watch Dan Stamanolous' 'Moral Orel' if you want an actually funny dark comedy or Christy Karacas' fast paced dark horror comic-come-to-life Superjail! for good animattion that doesn't belittle its audience... *[Trigger Warnings for Adult Swim-esque outdated 2007 humor and light transphobia, read for your own triggers if you dont want to though, please!]

The fact that Stollitz is written so flimsily like a wattpad fanficiton of tropes rolled into one is astounding to me, I used to like the dynamic pre-season 2 as I've mentioned on here and @tired-hellowl so I really don't want to get a headache going into how I USED to like it-Realizing the problematic consent issues all of STOLASS is, I physically cannot watch another Helluva or Hazbin promo anymore without rolling my eyes into the back of my head.

To the anons and people who used to also enjoy vivs work, there are other artists and there are other stories to tell. If you wish to be inspired from Dante's Inferno/Hell or WESTERN CHRISTIAN BASED RELIGION keep in mind what source material you're doing because I don't even think vivzie has picked up the bible once in her life.... And I say this as a drifter in the world who believes in reincarnation I don't really vibe with the athiest stereotypes however, I don't believe in most religion but more power to people that do get hope and love from their teachings and cultures.

She entirely missed the mark for several years, nearly a decade. Viv has had time and time again chance and opportunity to give a chance of storytelling with demons and what does she do? Adult Cartoon that has the demons scream 'FUCK SHIT DAMNIT DAMNIT LOOK IM SO HORNY AND SILLY AND WACKY WOAHH THE SCREEN IS CONSTANTLY MOVING YOU CAN NEVER HAVE A SECOND TO BREATH IN ANY AMOUNT OF WORLBUILDING OR SETTING BECAUSE FUCK. YOU.'--

I have said this time and time again- there is no substance or worth about Helluva Bosses or Hazbins writing, even without the show not being released because Amazon seems ashamed about it, I know it'll be a shitshow.

Honestly at this point I agree with the redesign community, take any character you used to like and rewrite them until it's unrecognizable from the original source material, let those fuckers in space fight alien pirates or hell take them out of the heaven and hell trope and just flip it on it's head entirely out of earth or wherever you want to set your story! I'm personally redesigning angel to be a slight aid to my addiction help via rewriting him into my murder mystery heheh while keeping the sexual abuse and recovery in mind because woah that shit happened to me too man !!!

I wish the best to any future writers, animators, programmers, lovers of animation or art, you can do what you put your mind and hands to! Spread more positivity and love then hate in this world please guys, this'll be the last time I pop in I promise I'm trying to get a better job and hopefully get accepted in a community college that i've been on the fence over trying to do more online coding ! The sky is the limit!<3

[shiroandblack]

I actually really wonder how Fingolfin and Anairë got together. Because we get details about Fëanor and Nerdanel, and to me it's a little easier to imagine how Finarfin and Eärwen met.

But Fingolfin and Anairë was just a blind spot for me and I didn't really come up with anything until now.

So basically my headcanon now is that they were competitive debate rivals.

It all starts one day during the finals of a debating competition (because looking at the Noldor, debating seems like something they would enjoy. Also, picking on people's arguments and tearing it down like their hopes and dreams is a craft in itself). I think Fingolfin would prefer being the Opposition, because while his actions are motivated by his own ambition a lot of his actions are also reactions to Fëanor's actions. Opposition of course, have their own arguments to bring it but they also rebuke the Government's arguments (the Government being the team who is arguing for whatever motion is presented).

So Fingolfin feels like he's doing great, he's the first speaker of the Opposition (whereas Anairë is the second speaker of the Government) and he is absolutely ready to tear apart her partner's arguments. So he does what he's good at, destroying people's opinions of something into itty bitty pieces and razing his opponent's confidence until it is just ashes (like Fëanor's corpse when he died).

That is until it's Anairë's turn to speak. And Anairë basically drags his argument through the mud. She destroys the philosophy behind his argument, completely dismissing his stance, and moreover she proves to the jury that Fingolfin's burden of proof is basically 0.

And Fingolfin is just seething. But because he's the king of restraint, he sits there with an amicable expression and hopes that one of Fëanor's inventions will malfunction and blow up in Anairë's face somehow.

He embarrassingly, gets second place.

And it is a fucking embarrassment because Fëanor airs out his loss during the family dinner that week and Fingolfin becomes ever determined to crush Anairë so badly she can never rise from the ashes of her defeat.

So Fingolfin is practicing so hard, he's going through different kinds of motions, different ways to frame his argument better, and ways to ensure his arguments are without any exploitable loopholes.

Enter Fëanor, who is like "I am going to help you because you embarrassed us as a family, the House of Finwë does not ever get second place". Basically, he's trying to help his brother because Nerdanel put him up to it (but she didn't even need to push hard at all) and because he also genuinely believes that whatever mongrel Indis is, his father is the superior creature and Fingolfin being Finwë's son means that he is an extension of that superior creature and must act accordingly.

So Fingolfin and Fëanor plot and practice. Fingolfin actually has a really good time, and Fëanor does too but he'd rather die than admit it.

So the day comes, and Fingolfin's feeling confident.

Only to lose once again.

This time it's Fëanor who's fucking livid, and he tells Fingolfin that during the next competition he will be Fingolfin's partner because obviously Fingolfin's teammate is shit if despite everything Fingolfin couldn't beat Anairë.

So again, the two boys practice. While their practicing, Fëanor decides to do a little background check on Anairë via his friends at Mahtan because she shouldn't be that good. She must be doing some kind of sorcery.

But nope. Anairë comes from a pretty well-off family, she's not common born like Nerdanel but she's also not high nobility. She's somewhere in the middle, with her family being of high enough social status to have access to private galas and balls but not high enough to meet Finwë on the regular. Oh, and her father made a fortune from breeding sheep. In fact, Míriel used to source the raw materials for her yarn from Anairë's family and that Anairë has a pet rabbit called Ball-Snow.

Fingolfin doesn't want to know how Fëanor found out about all that. It's pretty creepy honestly, but he does say yes to finding out how Anairë builds up her cases. And during this time, he starts noticing details about Anairë. Like how her dark hair shines silver under Telperion and how she has dimples when she smiles.

One day the two brothers basically stalk Anairë at the library, and act like fantastic creeps in general. These two are not subtle at all, so Anairë catches them quite early on. Turns out she's with a friend, who is to be her partner for the next competition. Eärwen of Alqualondë. Naturally, Fingolfin and Fëanor can't continue to be creeps around a princess because that would be a diplomatic crisis.

So their stalking amounts to nothing.

Come the debate competition. Fingolfin and Fëanor actually win. Fëanor is pleased, so whatever truce between the two is now broken.

Fingolfin is high on victory when he overhears Anairë talking to Eärwen, and she basically says that she lost on purpose because she could see how it was driving Fingolfin crazy to keep losing and she felt bad. So it was basically condescending pity.

Fingolfin bursts into the conversation. Eärwen, sensing this is gonna be a shitty argument sees Finarfin and is like "Let's climb over a wall" and Finarfin, because his longtime crush is talking to him is like "Sure!".

They argue. For a very long time. Fingolfin says shit like "I don't need your pity" and how he could take Anairë any day, any time. Anairë is like "yeah, you do" because Fingolfin has basically not been sleeping or functioning like a normal elf because he's just so obsessed with beating Anairë.

The argument continues and Fingolfin basically outs himself. He's like "I can't focus because of your stupid smile while I'm presenting my argument" or some cheesy shit like that and Anairë's like "great, because I can't focus whenever I look at your shitty face. I feel like I'm gonna falter"

So the two are left with a dilemma. Hmm.

Naturally, Fingolfin tries to talk to his dad about his crush on his rival and Finwë is just like "I don't know, I just knew that we were meant to be". And Fingolfin is kinda like, what kind of ass-tastic bullshit is that?

So he goes to talk to Fëanor, the only other guy he knows that is married. And Fëanor proves to be equally unhelpful because "Nerdanel was the one who started making moves and I liked it".

So Fingolfin starts sending Anairë gifts out of spite. It's her begetting day? She gets a full collection of Master Rúmil's dissertation on the inherent prey vs predator nature of every living creature. She won another round of debate? She gets a nice bracelet.

Eventually, Anairë sits the dumb guy down and asks if he's seriously considering courting her and lists all the reasons why courting her is the best option possible for someone like him. She basically presents it like it's her thesis defence.

Some years later, there's a wedding and Fëanor is unhappy because Fingolfin married his mortal enemy.

So the moral of the story is this kids: if you can't beat your enemies, marry 'em!

[canyoufucksoniccharacters]

CAN YOU FUCK BIG THE CAT?

Yes, him. Big The Cat. From Sonic.

Hey, I ain't judging. Here at CYFSC Inc. we give every character an equal fair shot, and Big is no exception. So let's get into it, shall we?

Alright, starting off, let's look at the archives. And by archives, I mean something that only exists through internet archives- the Sonic Channel ages! As you've likely gathered from the last post, I have a certain disdain for these. But, We're trying to look at official sources and canon material here, so let's start there.

He's... 18? Allegedly? That's odd. For someone so subdued, well put together, someone who loves fishing like nothing else in the world, someone who has seemingly the largest amount of physical strength out of anyone we know in the entire cast (Not counting transformations or power-ups), you wouldn't think he'd be listed as the same age as Rouge. Let's see, where could this have-

OH GOD FUCKING DAMN IT

Every time, without fucking fail. As stated in the last post, this manual holds no ground whatsoever. The ages were never listed in the original Japanese manuals, not a single time. And, again, there is no confirmation whatsoever that there was any communication between whoever wrote these and Sega. Reminder, this manual said that Eggman is a feminist and a romanticist. It is a malignant cancer that will be mentioned around 12 times, give or take, because of how absurdly inaccurate it is, and how much it influenced the age listings we had before they were removed from Sonic Channel.

So, an age of 18 that has been unlisted since October of last year, which is sourced from one of the most god awful yet wordy manuals the series has ever seen. Yeah, I don't buy it.

Look at this. This thing is not 18. This is not a young queer man getting his footing and entering adulthood. He has his own little hut in the jungle that he presumably made himself, he's an expert at fishing and seems to hold more knowledge on sea life than any of us could ever hope to match in our entire lives. He's absurdly strong, able to lift entire cars and boulders over his head as seen in SA1 with very little effort. Sure, Knuckles can crack boulders into pieces with one punch, but can he deadlift them? I don't think so. Big is strong. Real strong.

This is a bear. Not the animal, the gay archetype. This is a massive man who could bend you over his knee and crush your skull. But, he won't. He'll just fish. Fish, as it would seem he's been doing for years with his little frog friend. Don't let his childish way of speaking fool you, he's just like this because he's kind of a hermit that rarely ever leaves his little jungle hut for any reason other than fishing. Rest assured, this man is at MINIMUM about 20 years old, maybe even around 30. Really, you could go anywhere with him so long as you're not approaching the realm of old age.

Big The Cat is, by all accounts, able to consent. You can fuck him. But...

Would you fuck Big The Cat? Could you fuck Big The Cat?

This isn't a matter of if he can consent. He can. That much is obvious. But could you? Would you look at his 6'5/200cm figure, his seemingly impossible weight of 617 pounds, and think yourself physically able to? Would you be able to look into his deep cream yellow eyes while you fuck him? Whether Big is a top or bottom is beyond my jurisdiction, but neither gets you off easy. It might get you off, but it won't be an easy time. Fucking Big is not for the faint of heart. It's a commitment. I can't stop you, I have no intent of trying to stop you.

All I can do is wish you good luck.

You will need it.

STATUS: BIG

[amorhedera6]

as someone who watched and loved season 1 of flash, and someone who watched tolerated all the way up to season 5 and half of season 6, i decided to sit down and watch the flash finale. and boy do i have thoughts.

most of them are what the fuck is going on.

i watched all of once upon a time, so i’ve been burned by shows losing steam and obsessing over the main ship instead of the interesting plot before. when i saw the signs in the flash, i pulled back. i didn’t wanna go through it again. honestly i should’ve before i did, but i have a crippling crush on grant gustin.

1) khione

i like dc comics, but it spans infinitely and there are lots of things i don’t know, so correct me if i’m wrong. but i did a little research and it doesn’t seem to me that khione was a character in the comics. so (if danielle panabaker was staying on the show) why not just let her be caitlin? have they just decided against the character they have been writing since season one? khiones plot of understanding her powers, of of coming to terms with who/what she was all could have easily transferred to caitlin. it got her well when they first began to integrate killer frost into her story! they could have continued, once frost died, by having caitlin regain some of frost’s powers. while having her mourn her sister, she adapts to having powers again and how to be herself with them and not frost. an echo of the plot that she was already going through when the writers decided to just jeckyll/hyde her. it would have worked incredibly well! plus, it would give caitlin a fulfilling end to the question she’s been asking since season one: who is she on her own? in season one, it was without ronnie, in season two she was battling discovering these powers, and by season three she was battling becoming the super villain she knew her doppelgänger was. making her another new character with the same plot that caitlin, then frost had just defeats caitlin’s purpose. when the original core characters of your show keep leaving (cisco, joe, any version of wells) why kill of another just to replace her with such a similar character played by the same actress?? it truly baffles me.

2) the time wraiths

i’m sure i’m not the first one to say this, but why introduce the time wraiths if you want to have barry keep time traveling to and fro. “but they’re creatures of the speed force, so obviously wouldn’t attack the avatar!” okay fine. NORA IS NOT THE AVATAR. WHY DOES SHE NEVER FACE CONSEQUENCES FOR HER TIME TRAVELS. SHE HELD HERSELF. AS A BABY. THAT SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED.

i may be biased bc i don’t like nora.

3) bart

i know he wasn’t really mentioned much in the finale, but i wanted to understand things i’d missed/forgot so i looked into him for this. why did they make bart a part of the show. i understand he’s a big character in the comics, but if they wanted to have another child for barry and iris be introduced, why not use the tornado twins? why use his grandson and just change it? any create nora at all?? (again i’m probably just biased against nora, but still)

it just doesn’t make any sense to me to take an established character and change their lore just bc you like it better than using the established characters, since that conflicts with your original characters. JUST FOLLOW THE SOURCE MATERIAL ITS NOT THAT HARD.

4) eddie

bringing back eddie thawne, when his sacrifice already didn’t achieve its purpose, completely cheapens the finale of season one. especially by making him an uncle villain who wants to destroy the timeline because his fiancée (who he knew was destined to be with barry in the future) denied him because she already had a husband and family.

eddie didn’t like barry in season one. he rightly thought that he was into iris and came in between the two of them. but he tried to be his friend because he was friends with joe and he loved iris. he was a good guy and he wanted good for the people in his life. he loved iris, and if it truly made her happier to be with barry than him, he would have stepped to the side, the finale completely changes his character for the wills of the plot, making him hate barry for “stealing his life” when he sacrificed himself so iris could continue to live her life happily.

5) iris’ labor

for two and a half of the four episodes of the finale, iris is in labor. and because they’re being attacked by the negative speed force, everyone rallies together to fight, and she is left alone in the hospital in labor.

WHY DID NO ONE CALL JOE???

i get he has jenna to look after or whatever, but that’s his daughter, she’s in labor, the father of the baby he also calls his son, and yeah it’s weird, but we don’t talk about that. his daughter is in labor, all alone, worried about wether or not barry will survive, and no one thinks that he would be helpful to the situation at all. so fucking stupid. i understand if maybe the actor didn’t want to come back for it, but he was already in the finale episodes anyway!! he was a major point in the first episode, and he was there when she finally had the baby in the end!! why couldn’t he just be there for a little bit longer??

6) cisco

okay, carlos valdez has said that he had scheduling conflicts, and that it was heartbreaking for him not to be able to return for the finale. i understand that. i am not at all criticizing that.

they couldn’t even name drop cisco? be like, ciscos picking up the cake at the party scene? have caitlin be in the phone with him instead of her mother at the end? they were best friends, you’re saying when she came back from the dead she didn’t even call him? or say i called cisco, he has blah blah blah going on so he can’t come help buuuut he gave us this vital piece of information!!

come one people. throw us a bone.

7) chester

i did get to chester in the original series, but it was like right as i was losing interest in it, so i didn’t care to research him at all, but i did for this! why did they make him diet cisco?? internet he comics, because he has a vortex inside of him, chester is fat. why was he played by a skinny guy? why did they not utilize his character to its full extent instead of just being a replacement once they found out carlos was leaving the show??

okay that’s all i have, i wanted to complain bc it made me angry. i liked the flash originally, i think it had a lot of good potential, but like so many shows, it was dredged on too long, got convoluted, the writing prowess diminished instead of flourishing, and it ended after too many seasons. sorry to the flash, you could’ve been so good.

[emilykaldwen]

how do you make a original character for a fanfic?

Anon, I'm sorry for delay in answering this but you see, when you dropped this into the inbox, I legit sat up and went 'My Time Has Come'. You can ask my citadel girlies (gender-neutral) about my passion for character creation because I like to smack them in the face with it (affectionately) on the regular. And here's the thing, I'm nowhere near the Word on how to do this. In fact, I am genuinely surprised to have gotten this ask. So thank you? I'm glad you like my writing!

There's like, five million ways I could do this sort of breakdown, touching on internalized misogyny and why we connect with the media we do and how this all ties into our mental health at the time but I don't think that's what you're asking about, so I'm gonna pull back on myself and talk about how I create original characters for Fic.

I feel like character creation, especially in fanfic is such a nuanced discussion that I don't think has really been talked about but we'll be here for 84 years if I launch into this now.

ALL OF THIS IS MY OWN OPINION. I'm just a rando on the internet and have my own approaches and opinions on things. If you feel like I'm specifically calling you out, I can assure you, I'm not, and I will not entertain people getting snippy at me because they want to be offended because they think I criticized them personally on the internet.

SO! HOW DO I CREATE AN ORIGINAL CHARACTER FOR FAN FICTION?

Questions, my friend, and the most important one is:

Why am I creating this character?

You need to be honest with yourself. Only yourself. Not the answer you think people will want to hear, or the one that you'll be least embarrassed to share. There are no wrong answers here, creativity comes from so many places within us. THIS SETS THE EXPECTATION.

Why am I creating this character? Is it because you have a crush on the actor? Is it because you want to be the pretty princess and have everyone fawn and fall in love with you? Is it because everyone is stupid in this story and someone needs to clean up the mess? Is it because you see a gap in the story that you feel should be told? All? None?

(In my opinion, the only 'wrong' answer is that you're creating a self-insert avatar to punish yourself. I've been there. It was not a great place, but I wasn't in therapy at the time. I eventually got over punishing myself in fic form)

For me, character creation comes from trying to add something to the story. The existence of my character should have interesting ramifications through the story. For me, if I'm going through the trouble of creating a character that fits into this world, I want them to have effect and change. There should be change. If nothing is changing in the story, then I'll just go read/watch the source material than sit around making someone who basically boils down to a spectator of what's happening.

Characters in our stories are real. They are living and breathing.

Example 1: I have an OC, Myranda Greyjoy. Instead of flying to Storm's End, Aemond flies to Pyke and brings her back to King's Landing. You know what that means? Vhagar doesn't go chomp on Luke, and Luke likely makes it back home unharmed or stays the night at Storm's End until it's safer to fly. So that means blood and cheese doesn't happen, and the war doesn't kick off immediately (which follows canon in terms of Luke's death being the trigger for blood and cheese which in turn means no one is gonna back down).

Example 2: In one of my original drafts of The Maiden and the Drowning Boy, Abby was at Harrenhal when Daemon took the castle (in Fire & Blood, this happens before Storm's End). In the book, Aemond is sent to Storm's End to treat with Borros, but if I kept this event in the fic, it would be in character for Aegon to mount Sunfyre and grab Aemond to go fuck Daemon up because his wife, the Queen, is being held by the enemy. Now, while this is super interesting, it had the potential to cut the dance of dragons down real short and quite frankly? I didn't want to deviate too much from the original dance in terms of some major events because that means that i have to come up with all of that stuff too. My ass doesn't have time for that. (but it's a cool idea)

Okay, so you know why you're creating your OC for whatever reason. Here's the next thing to understand:

CREATING YOUR CHARACTER/STORY FOR POPULARITY/VIRAL/EVERYONE MUST READ THIS IS ONLY GOING TO LEAD TO HEARTBREAK.

You've heard it time and again: write for yourself! and you're like the fuck does that mean asshole? I know, I know! And I really have to thank the AO3 Subreddit for helping me clarify what this means and how it impacts me.

Engagement is Down across the board, across all fandoms. It has nothing to do with you as a writer, it has no reflection on the quality of your work.

Comments are rare. Sometimes they never happen. It fucking sucks. I hate it. I've heard friends go into the lack of comment engagement. Validation is nice. We thrive on it! It feels so good to be told how awesome your work is, what people connected with, etc.

You cannot write for the comments. You cannot write for the external validation. You cannot maintain a sense of stable mental health if you are focused on the feedback.

So find your people.

I found mine! I've been working on my fic since NaNo in November 2022 and am only just now getting ready to start publishing, and I wouldn't have made it if it wasn't because my fic made my one friend happy. Now? I have a handful of people that I've cultivated real friendships with that support and cheer me on just as I support and cheer them on. They're my audience. Everyone else? Are fantastically appreciated extra dessert.

(Perfectionism is a real thing that so many of us actually do struggle with and if you're not meeting the specific standard that you think you should be meeting because you're a better writer than that super popular fic, you are going to make yourself miserable)

So what does this all boil down to?

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

You do not have to put some deep political dramatic plot scaffolding around your story in order for your OC to be taken seriously and so you can be 'allowed' to have your OC and the canon character hook up. This is YOUR story. You get to write what you want! You get to see how this story will go!

but if you want people to be receptive to your OC and the story at large, then you need to work on making your character living and breathing in the story.

Rattle test! Have a few friends who are trusted to talk through your character and plot and make sure they aren't afraid to ask the hard questions.

Me: Should Jace accidentally punch Abby in this scene cause she tried to get between them Me and Friend at the same time: Aegon would kill him, let's not do that.

I had another possible plot line where this other character was flirting with Aegon. It sounded cool in my head! but talking through it, it just really didn't work out or make much sense.

Anyway, I can go on and on about this subject, and probably write a whole thesis on this delving into how character creation in fan works should be an act of love, not self punishment, and how internalized misogyny plays a huge role in why people are usually averse to reading OC fan fic (in that I mean, the OCs often hate other women, are 'not like other girls' but everyone loves them, etc).

It's hard creating OCs to get people to read them. There's a ton of people out there who simply will not read OC work on principal.

But a final note:

Original characters =/= Reader Inserts. By that I mean, the whole reader fic genre is written specifically for the reader to imagine themselves in the situation. Original characters may be an author insert, but they are not the reader cipher. also original character =/= author insert either, but also you should be totes honest with yourself if you are writing your own insert. It's not a bad thing, it just gives your expectations.

[headcanonthings]

As someone still fairly new to the Terror AMC fandom this idea I’m about to outline might have already been written and if so please send it to me

But if not hear me out……….A Black Butler-esque AU

As someone who has fallen in love with Jopson I’ve seen a couple fics that point out or emphasize how good of a steward he is

And the source material already establishes that there are some kind of supernatural entities out there so this doesn’t feel like a big stretch to kind of connect the two

So here’s what I’m seeing:

Crozier runs into some trouble during the Antarctic trip with Ross

like SEVERE LIFE THREATENING kind of trouble

To save his men (especially his best friend and maybe crush Ross) Crozier makes a demon deal

Maybe he doesn’t really understand at first, maybe he thinks the conversation is some kind of dream/hallucination or maybe he believes right away and just weighs the lives of everyone else as worth more than his soul

But he does it and now he’s got a faithful and hellishly good steward in the form of demon!Jopson

Using his demon powers Jopson gets them out of trouble, saves everyone he can, and the expedition is completed and considered a major success

Crozier doesn’t regret the deal but he’s wary of asking demon!Jopson for more things + his own stubborn pride keeps him from asking for more personal things

He wants to earn promotions and higher social standing on his own merits, he wants Sophia Cracroft to love him on her own not because demon!Jopson has done something

So in the 10 years between the Antarctic Expedition and the Arctic Expedition demon!Jopson continues to fill in the steward/servant role (or maybe he just fucks off for a bit, hangs out in hell, makes other deals and just checks on with crozier like yearly idk how close you want to stick with the source materials)

But then we get to the Franklin Expedition

Things play out as expected and even through Crozier is frustrated with Sir John he won’t ask demon!Jopson to intervene

Then the Tunbac appears

We lose Lt. Gore and the others including Sir John

Maybe demon!Jopson knows what’s going on maybe he doesn’t - depends how much you want to play around with the theologies

But I’m imagining we still stick pretty close to the events of the show, lots of misunderstandings and denial of what’s going on

Then we get to the confrontation between Crozier and Fitzjames over the rum

I’m imagining Crozier has rationalized his drinking a lot here because he’s already sold his soul so what does it matter

But after the confrontation he realizes he needs to sober up

Demon!Jopson offers to cure him or at least ease the way but Crozier declines just like he did earlier because it matters to him that he does this the hard way

I think once we hit Carnival is when we can really start diverging from the main plot

Stanley still lights it up but since Crozier will always do his best for the men he finally ask demon!Jopson for help so more men make it out including Macdonald because Goodsir deserves the support for all the medical things

Maybe Hickey still stabs him in his one good deed but demon!Jopson is able to save him and seeing the doctor walking around fine alerts Hickey that there’s something else going on than just the Tunbac

They start the long walk but Crozier asks demon!Jopson for help to save everyone so demon!Jopson ensure that they are rescued (either by Ross or by the Inuits)

That’s the basics at least but here are a couple extra thoughts that may or may not fit together

During their time interrogating Silna about the Tunbac or maybe during an additional scene, Silna reveals she knows Jopson is a demon and in turn this reveals it to some of the other command crew members

Crozier still field promotes Jopson and the demon has no idea why or what to do because he’s not actually a part of the Navy but it still means so much to him

Jopson was originally human and saw his mother through her own addiction, she nearly died when she tried to get sober and Jopson sold his soul to ensure her survival (this happened a century or more ago so he’s had time to work his way up to being a moderately powerful demon in his own right); he still tells this story to Crozier

Demon!Jopson immediately knows something is up with Hickey because he can sense how dark his soul is, he keeps an eye out from afar but doesn’t interfere because he figures it’s not really his business unless Crozier says something or if Hickey comes at Crozier

Maybe he senses Hickeys intentions or gets some kind of spiritual heads up, but Jopson follows the hunting party and keeps Hickey from killing Lt Irving (imagine Irving having to come to terms with the fact that a demon saved his life)

For big things like a rescue Jopson can’t make them happen instantly so he uses up a lot of his own power to keep the men healthy enough to keep going so he looks just as affected by scurvy and starvation as the rest of them (is he taking on the symptoms, does his deterioration just coincidently look similar, or do the men just assume he’s suffering the same illnesses as them because they don’t know differently)

And that’s really all it got for this idea!

Again if it already exists send me the link please

If you are inspired in anyway by this please feel free to write or draw or do whatever with it and then send me the links

[professorspork]

debated with myself whether to ask about a happy scene in order to spare myself the agony but: since it has haunted me unceasingly since the first time i read it i would love to hear the commentary on the scene in newsbees where adam. well i can't say cuts off because that happens later but. destroys yang's arm? i consider myself to have a pretty high tolerance for dark/disturbing stuff in fiction but that scene made me feel physically ill (positive? as in insanely well written) so i would love to hear what went into writing it because it is a fucking Achievement. (i have not picked out a smaller passage but if you want to pick a specific section to talk about go crazy)

well first of all thank you for the incredible compliment, gosh

and second of all-- to talk about the genesis of this scene we actually have to rewind the clock pretty much all the way back, because it wasn't entirely clear to me how all this would work for uh... a really good percentage of the drafting process, tbh

[warning for squeamish readers this will eventually get... a little intense bc I'm describing some very violent shit under the read more]

figuring out how Adam would fit into the basic framework of the Newsies film plot was a major hurdle in my planning process before I could actually start writing the fic. Blake and Yang don't map perfectly onto David and Jack, they're sort of constantly swapping who carries which beats, but Jack's on the run because he knows the cops will give him back to Snyder, the warden of the juvenile hall. Jack has systemic issues that ultimately have systemic solutions, resolved by the dismantling of The Refuge as an institution. so in the very earliest versions, when I was figuring out my antagonistic forces, I considered all sorts of ways for Clover to be chasing Blake, too, or for Adam to somehow be manipulating the Atlesian carceral state as a way to get Blake on the run.

one of the reasons I thought I had to use the cops was because I wanted to capture the visceral fear that happens in Newsies when the police break up the union's rally. I wish there were a youtube clip I could link to, but the basic outline is that Jack, having been outed by Snyder as a ~runaway outlaw~ to the chief of police, is slated to talk on stage at this massive rally of all the striking newsies. The cops surround the concert hall, and then storm in as Jack's speaking. Jack's friends try to help him get away, but it's chaos. there are mounted officers inside the lobby, and that terrifying moment-- a horse rearing up and the desperate scramble to get out of the way of its falling hooves-- is the true kernel of what ultimately became the Yang's arm scene. the violence of it is so distinctive and outsized to the situation, and felt true to both source materials in a way I was eager to keep.

so the stomp was kind of there from the beginning, because Newsies gave it to me... though it took me a while to realize it. I knew I didn't want Adam to have a sword, because that felt like it broke the world and was a little too cartoon-y. that meant I had to choose between Adam cutting her arm some other way (cleaner, but requires a lot more context to pull off in terms of what he'd have access to), or issuing such a catastrophic injury that amputation was the only option (much more achievable no matter how I wrote the scene, and brutal). I read up a lot about like, what does and does not constitute an irreparable break, and the bones in Yang's arm being crushed was the most "this is inarguable, they'd just do it" solution. the idea of Adam warning Blake resisting just makes the boot come down harder was something that I'd already had floating around my notes, and so the idea of using that as a parallel and him saying it again while actually stomping down was just... once I had the thought, I knew I had to.

figuring out how that scene would work took a lot more doing, though. as you'll notice, newsbees doesn't actually have a rally scene; the people Blake and Yang are talking to are the press, not their fellow strikers. for a long time, the rally was going to be played much more straight, and I was going to use that moment for Adam to out Blake as a Faunus and insinuate her as a member of the White Fang (something something "great job darling, you fooled them" "what the fuck are you talking about??? he's lying!" sort of thing) and there would be some kind of reveal about the crowd being filled with White Fang plants. I got.... really far into the draft, before I let go of that being the shape of the scene. it really wasn't until I reached the part after Blake and Yang's arrest and the gang had to come up with a plan that it all finally fell together organically, based on this idea of "Ruby should talk to the press" being the script that goes sideways.

so once I had the venue, it all kind of came together. the pieces fell into place; I knew I needed to blow up the Schnee garage to cause damage to the property that wouldn't threaten any of the cast in the manor, and to get Ilia access to a getaway car. having Adam hit Yang to start the scene then laid out the players on the board the way I'd wanted them (Blake surrounded, Yang largely incapacitated).

and as for the actual writing of the scene itself... the vast majority of what's published was the very first draft, which I wrote in one feverish sitting just trying to get my own, like, revulsion at Adam's actions down on the page. Blake's anxiety manifests as nausea often throughout the story, and this was always intended to show why--he's just absolutely stomach-turning, in the things he's willing to do and say. I tend to be adjective- and adverb-heavy in my writing even at the best of times, but I really tried to maximalize my descriptive language to always land back on violence, here: it's not just that he's menacing, it's not just that Blake is scared out of her mind, it's that he's purposefully doing everything he can to make this hurt (physically, emotionally, mentally) as much as possible and they both know it. it's why one stomp was never going to be enough for him; it's why he goes out of his way to make Blake parrot that it's her fault, which immediately back-fills in all the millions of times the reader knows he must have done that throughout their relationship. in his head, this is Blake's punishment for defying him: look what you made me do, this wouldn't have happened if you'd just behaved. and for a punishment to stick, Blake has to FEEL it.

which: the cruelty here, just like in the show, is that this is a pivotal moment in Yang's life and it doesn't get to be about her. Adam's not hurting Yang to hurt Yang; he's doing it to hurt Blake. Yang's just a prop, and useful or important to him only as a way of showing there's no part of Blake, nothing she holds precious, that she can protect from him. he hurts Yang for the same reason he'd punch a wall next to Blake's head, or tear pages out of her diary and break her pencils or something. he doesn't see Yang as a person. he doesn't see Yang AT ALL. he's making eye contact with Blake, talking to Blake, putting pressure on Blake the entire time he's doing this. the only time he addresses Yang, period, is to reveal that Blake used to be in the White Fang and hid it from her-- which, again, was a dig to make Blake feel like shit. he couldn't care less what that meant for Yang.

which, you know, is exactly what Blake was afraid of and knew would happen and was trying desperately to avoid :)

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/730025691294449664/i-really-dislike-when-people-warn-about-something?source=share OP here. The reason I used warnings is because I mainly thought of creations not for the faint of heart constantly using trigger warnings when it doesn't really apply. My ask came as a result of watching someone use a "trigger warning" talking about some movies containing mentions and scenes of rape and finding that it's overused and doesn't even cover what a trigger actually is. Obvs using big warning for some of the personal issue things or really tame shit would be dumb; sex scenes, mild kinks, even some blood or injury. "Will portray" "will show scenes of" etc have been labels I've seen already used. Even "may contain scenes some viewers might find disturbing" already exists, and makes more sense for these things. Even a "click to see NSFW" is good enough. My focus was completely on the times when people use specifically "trigger warning" as a general actual "warning" label, for the more graphic, grizzly, explicit materials. Because they're warning the viewers/readers of what's happening once you enter. It's kinda the difference to me between a simple "spoiler" blur over some sexy smut art, or a "This pic contains dick", because I might accidentally flash someone, and a warning that if I click a link I might be shown a graphic liveleak video of someone's head being crushed, or some graphic surgery injuries. You obviously need to figure out yourself when a simple "be aware this content contains X" vs "Yeah this is an actual warning this shit might end up being actually fuck you up."

--

As far as I know, labeling things as "this might fuck you up" makes it more likely that people will have strong negative reactions vs. the same material warned for in a more neutral way.

[wisconsin2002]

In my opinion miraculous has been doing pretty decent with season 5. Chat Noirs Been a freaking badass this season so far. Marinette seems more mature in a way

( I like that for her I really like that for her. Marinette was once one of my favs and to see her get constantly dunked on by the writing as the seasons went on just hurt)

and the material (up to this moment) is handled okay.

(except Luka. Literally don't know what they were thinking making Luka figure out both Ladybug and Chat Noirs Identities in a pretty decent episode in season 4, and the next we see of that they barely elaborate on it and have the fucker LEAVING PARIS?!!! QUE MAMADA?? And Juleka wasn't added to the conversation becaaause? )

*sigh* anyways I digress.

But oh my goodness😂 bro I-

Were the writers that wrote fucking derision just doing this?💀:

Cause that's what it felt like. Chloé's the reason for Marinettes trauma and past stalkery behaviour now? 😂 Bitch please.

Wasn't Astrucs excuse when people were talking about Marinettes creepy behavior and stalker tendencies was because she's a teen girl and teens do stuff like that or some shit?

What changed?

And you can make the excuse that he didn't wanna spoil that part of her past, but in that case why respond at all? Why not just stay quiet and let people figure it out? Literally makes no sense.

(Bro responds to every tweet I swear to god. 😩 You can say "miraculous is cacapoopoofart" and Thomas would still take it seriously. Like damn brother sorry my little niece grabbed the phone for five seconds. )

Like dude this is a pretty big reveal for Marinettes character that you'd think they would handle more carefully! But... I digress again.

The flashbacks were pretty cool too but also dissapointing cause that's where things really fell flat with the writing and at times just felt straight up random and made up.

This entire episode is such a rewritten contradiction to what the writing had set out to do in the beginning. Especially with Chloe and Kim.

Like Kim's just a shitty guy now after you show him being a pretty neat dude for most of the seasons and even give him a lover? 💀 TF? Why wasn't this brought up In season one or two? I mean his crush on Chloe was brought up but not the fact that he was a freaking douchebag. And why the hell did they revert him back to a pick me boy for Chloe in this episode? 💀 They even have him speak nice about Chloe for no reason(IN FRONT OF HIS GF BTW!) and have no remorse for what he did to Marinette at all despite his dislike for Chloé after he moved on from his crush on her. And he feels no remorse at all? Really? And if it wasn't bad enough, bro gets off easy with a slap on the wrist and a half-assed apology. Like bro wha-💀

And Chloé's the source of Marinettes trauma? Again I can't get over that. 💀

Okay okay okay

Look

That's not too hard to believe if the way they were going at it was believable.

It ain't.

Being anxious about rejection is one thing right. And yeah it can cause trauma to kids no doubt, I've been through it myself.

But bro

Look me dead in the eyes. And tell me with a straight face that fucking Chloe and Kim's prank was what caused Marinette To be doin all THIS!

LOOK ME DEAD IN THE EYE AND TELL ME CHLOE AND KIM CAUSED THIS TO HAPPEN!

I think tf not.

You know what I think? I think the writer's Chloe spite is so strong that they decided to use one of Marinettes character writing flaws and give it a fucking alternate universe level size rewriting to fit the "Chloé's a shitty person for no reason and always will be" Narrative that they created and just can't let go off.😩

And at this point I already know the writer's don't care for Chloe. Right off the bat. Hero or villain, good or bad. They don't care for her character at all. I mean they're making her live with her neglectful ass mom cause now they decided that the bitch should be the one to turn over a new leaf and become an actual responsible mother. Right when her daughter hit rock bottom because of taking after her BS priveledged lead example of maternity and morality.

(hell her writing was perfect for an anti villain in the making story but I guess we'll skip over that too. What else is new 😮‍💨)

She's nothing but a punching bag used to show the audience that no matter what, Chloe will always be Astrucs punching bag to try and prove to other peoples potential development, thoughts and ideas for her wrong. And now thanks to that. That's turned her into a literal contradiction of her own character.

*sigh* well atleast Astruc doesn't really write anymore in season 6. Chloé's character cannot go back to what was and I don't expect her to but they can at the very least write her an actual goal as a villain Instead of just making Marinette the vain of her existence for no reason.

Didn't Chloe literally say in season 3 that she didn't care all that much about Marinette?

I find myself asking again.. What changed? 💀

Also am I supposed to believe that Marinette is so traumatized by Chloé's pranks and antics?.... but yet she gave her a miraculous??

Also didn't Marinette go to the pool place before In past episodes and have absolutely no panic attacks or issues at all?

Am I actually supposed to believe all of this? Because I don't. It doesn't sound believable and the writing sure as hell doesn't do it justice either.

Madre mía. I'd say more but I'm rambling at this point.

This episode was just basura. Some good interesting things and attempts, but mostly basura. For every step forward it took, it also took like five steps backwards.

Would I say it's the worst episode? Nah. It had redeeming qualities.

Unlike this time wasting pile of dog shit that I'm convinced whoever wrote it was fucking doing this :

[unexpectedgeese]

WARNING: LONG-ASS ORV POST. LIKE, 1.5K WORDS LONG.

*throws myself through your window* OMNISCIENT READER’S VIEWPOINT PORTRAYS THE ‘THREE WAYS TO SURVIVE IN A RUINED WORLD’-- AUTHOR, READER, AND PROTAGONIST– AS BOTH A SOURCE OF HOPE AMIDST THE STAR STREAM’S CRUSHING DESPAIR AND PART OF THAT VERY SAME SYSTEM. IN THIS ESSAY I WILL–

*i drop the bit and explain my thinking* Okay SO. My point stands regardless of what exactly you think the Star stream symbolizes, and regardless of which of the ‘three ways’ you’re looking at, since all possible interpretations of ORV are interconnected as shit. So I’m going to be saying ‘fuck that’ to writing separate paragraphs for each one and instead sections this post off into three sections: The Good, The Bad, and The Ultimate Message Sing-Shong is trying to give us about Breaking Cycles, Overcoming Trauma, and Making Capitalism your Bitch. 

Also: If we’re looking at the ‘Author, Reader, Protagonist’ roles, we need to know what they’re the Author, reader, and protagonist of. There’s a shit ton of books in ORV (including ORV itself), and we need to know which one we’re talking about to understand the novel as best we can.

SSSSS-Class regressor or whatever tf it was called: Written by Han Sooyoung in an attempt to give her readers what they want. 

Three Ways to Survive in a Ruined World: Written by Han Sooyoung, therefore perpetuating the cycle, in order to save KDJ/ the Oldest Dream. Read by The Oldest Dream to cope with real life. Lived by YJH, who was created by it.

THE STAR STREAM ITSELF: ‘written’ by the incarnations (HSY compares them to authors at some point), who need the support of their audience to survive. Edited by the Dokkaibei, who have a compulsion to satisfy the reader’s needs. Read by the constellations, who need stories to live. Lived by the incarnations.

ORV: not my circus, not my monkeys. I’ve already got way too much to cover in this post, so I’m not talking about this.

PART ONE: They’re literally called the Three Ways to Survive, man, I don’t know what else to tell you   

The Star Stream (and modern society in general) is a scary place. When death lurks around every corner, what the fuck are you supposed to do? Be an Author, Reader, or Protagonist, of course! 

So, the author. We’ve got a lot of these: Kdj’s mom, Han Sooyoung writing SSSSS-class regressor, Han Sooyoung in the star stream itself, Han Sooyoung writing WoS, Han Sooyoung writing the 1863rd round, Han Sooyoung writing ORV– point is, we’ve got choices. But here’s a Question: what do all of these examples have in common? 

Well, before their respective authors (AKA han Sooyoung) got ahold of them, the stories already existed. Authorship in ORV is about taking an existing series of events and writing a story around them– whether it’s written for the author’s sake or for someone else’s. 

The Author copes with the Ruined World by taking reality and rewriting it in their own image. Lee Sookyung wrote Underground Killer to stop Kim Dokja from being tried for the murder. Han Sooyoung (tried to) rewrite the 1863rd round to stop WoS from ever becoming reality. She wrote WoS to stop Kim Dokja from dying. 

An Author’s stories can change public perception of an event or person, and enough of a sway can actually change the source material itself. In this way, an author can change the past. In Gigantomachia, for example, the interference of the Gods makes Hercules a part of the myth, and ORV itself is meant to change Kdj’s opinion and thus change how the world works. 

As seen above, the reader is the proverbial ‘God’ of the Ways of Survival. A story comes alive through the way its readers interpret it. There are a lot of readers in ORV; we have KDJ (both as a reader of WoS and in the star stream), the apostles, the Oldest Dream, and the Constellations. A story’s readers dictate what does and doesn’t fly, as shown with the mechanics of probability; when enough constellations approve of something, reality can change. 

The Reader can cope with the Ruined World by distancing themself from it; like with the fourth wall, or the constellations. If it isn’t real, it can’t hurt you, after all! The Reader, with their access to the story, can also understand its characters better than most. And when the Protagonist reaches the end of the story, so too does the reader.

Although the Author and the Reader might have the most say in real life, in ORV the Protagonist is the one with the power to really shake up fate. All incarnations are protagonists to some degree, but Yoo Joonghyuk and Kim Dokja are the main ones. 

The Protagonist copes with the ruined world by forging their own path; the power of a person’s story can see them through some tough times. Yjh’s power as a transcendent is rooted in his power as the protagonist, for example. 

Basically YJh has PTSD, KDJ dissociates for a living, and HSY’s so good at compartmentalizing and rewriting herself that she’s literally 10,000 different people. Tie that in to Regressor/reincarnator/returnee and past/present/future yourselves, I don’t have time for that shit. MOVING ON   

PART TWO: This isn’t the Divergent– maybe people should be more than one thing

    So, we’ve got our Author, Reader, Protagonist set-up, and it seems pretty nice! All three have carved out their own little niche in the story, and surely that can’t be bad for them haha. Right?

Wrong, actually. Capitalism is a bitch and a half, and coping mechanisms become maladaptive the second it’s them controlling you. The ‘Three Ways to Survive’ might let you survive, but it doesn’t let you live. The survival methods of our main cast can easily hurt as much as they help, and systems of power can exploit them even easier. The star stream sucks, the only thing we have to lose is our chains, and that damned meteor is a symbol again. We’ll get to it.

    So! Being an author is cool, writing’s great. Metaphysically and thematically being an author is half being exploited and half exploiting others. In ORV, authors are at the total mercy of their reader’s tastes in media. Asuka Ren’s Peace Land was cancelled because nobody gave a shit about it. The Star Stream’s scenarios are full of violence and tragedy because that’s what the constellations want to see. Lee Sookyung’s entire life was turned into a sensationalist smorgasbord because true crime freaks are everywhere. 

When authorship stops being a passion project and starts being your only way to survive, you lose all agency over what you write and who you hurt to do it. And an Author’s powers of turning the world around them into a story can have some shit effects on the world around them. In rewriting the narrative, Authors can very easily trample on their character’s free will in an attempt to reach their happy ending. We see this happen a shit ton with the incarnations (yes, they are authors: HSY explicitly says so), and with HSY in her altered timeline. While she was gunning for a happy ending, she did so by taking free will away from everyone else. Lee Sookyung does the same thing to her son.

And readers have the same shit hand in this. The same ‘fourth wall’ that protects them from harm also isolates them from the connections to others that they seek– That’s, like, the entire point behind KDJ’s character arc. Readers also have very little power to change the story; they’re passive observers before all else. While the constellations can influence goings-on through their probability, they can’t actually do anything. They’re often lonely as shit, as well; the fourth wall is a one way street, so while they can understand the characters, nobody understands them. We’ve already covered the adverse effects of audience approval on authors, but it’s just as bad for characters– as seen with the apostles, there’s a major dehumanizing effect of the fourth wall. 

    And as the protagonist, Yoo Joonghyuk does some bullshit during his regressions. His uncompromising nature leads to a shit ton of atrocities committed in the name of the narrative. And he’s also having a bad time: sometimes the timeloop means you’re strapped in the narrative and that is. Bad. And I don’t think anyone could read ORV and not notice the treatment of the incarnations, so I’m leaving it unsaid.

PART THREE: holy shit this post is so long lemme wrap it up

So, to summarize. The ‘three ways’ (author, reader, protagonist) symbolize the different ways an individual can survive in a cycle that doesn’t give a shit about them (be it capitalism, the entertainment industry, or trauma). But these three ways, as much as they can help a person, are also really harmful; the cycle of the Star Stream is perpetuated by all of its participants, at all levels– from the Dokkaibei king to the incarnations of the very first scenario. Author, Reader, and Protagonist are both helpful coping mechanisms and harmful roles in the society of the star stream.

Alright actual conclusion time I am SO tired and I have written 1,500 words about this shit. Basically nobody in ORV is evil they’re all just trying to survive but the system they live in means that you can’t do that without a sacrifice. This is some Omelas level shit alright. The only thing within the Star System that you can change alone is who’s in the boss’s chair. The social classes of ORV (the three ways) won’t get jack shit done if they stick within the lines. Wreck shit. Staying in Omelas doesn’t change Omelas. Walking out doesn’t either. 

    There are Three Ways to Survive in a Ruined World, sure– but that doesn’t mean the world has to stay ruined.

[vasfasan]

Killian Got Back

AN: set early season 4

It all started that time he and Emma were on a morning patrol around town in her yellow Bug. The streets were almost empty, the residents had not yet left home for work, only the cafe was open. Storybrooke was just waking up, and so was its sheriff. Emma hadn't finished her daily large cup of Granny's espresso, so she wasn't in the mood to talk. Diluting the silence, the car radio – a device to which Killian just the other day was introduced by David, who explained that it works like a telephone, but you can only listen – was playing one of those music-only stations. Some modern melody, in which Killian recognized oriental motifs, was just coming to an end. After a short pause, where the energetic host had introduced the next song, a female voice began.

"Oh, my, God, Becky, look at her butt. It is so big. She looks like one of those rap guys' girlfriends…"

"Did she just say "butt"?" Killian, who until then had been distractedly gazing through the window, turned a confused look toward the source of the sound.

Emma didn't react, completely engrossed in her drink. She parked on the side of Main Street.

In addition to the female voice, weird rhythmic sounds began to come from the radio. Killian oftenly thought that, no matter how quickly he'd grown accustomed to this world and its peculiarities, it would take him much longer to get used to its music. He had never heard such instruments before.

"Huh?"

I like big butts and I cannot lie You other brothers can't deny That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist And a round thing in your face You get sprung

Killian's eyebrows shot up in surprise. Emma finally looked at him, then at the radio, and chuckled. She reached out her hand and turned up the volume. Great, she'd decided to turn this situation into another "lesson in modern culture" for the pirate.

"What's this, Swan?"

“Sir Mix-a-Lot, hip-hop,” Emma replied, finally awake and now continuing to laugh at Hook's reaction to hip-hop.

Tell 'em to shake it (shake it) shake it (shake it) Shake that healthy butt, Baby got back

The singing paused and strange scratching noises were playing. Emma began to dance along to the music a little bit with an expression of mock-swagger on her face. She pretended to fucking motorboat the air, which added a whole new layer of weird to this situation. Killian gave her a dismissive glance.

I wanna get ya home And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh

The way Killian was caught off guard must have shown on his face, because at the sight of him, Emma burst into another fit of giggles.

"Don't get me wrong, I am by no means a prude and in my pirating years I've heard a lot of sea shanties that were rather descriptive. But this? It's just... Lewd"

"You should have seen the music video!"

"Oh, I have no doubt that there is even more derriere-related imagery in abundance..."

"There are ass-shaped hills!"

***

A few days later, Hook was getting ready for his first official date with Emma. He didn't want to admit it, because it threatened his sense of the pilagering pirate self, but nevertheless he was flat-out nervous. This wasn't some bar wench, this was Emma. And he, like a teenage boy with his first crush, wanted to show the best version of himself this evening. Which, as he internally concluded, should be accompanied by a change of image. And well, if feeling like a part of this world, and not an alien, helps him relieve this nervous tension, so much the better.

After the unsettling interaction with the Dark One, Killian felt strange. And did not feel the expected relief of reuniting with his missing hand. He was out of his element, and his body too, now felt foreign. He'd hoped a visit to the tailor's would help dull it.

As it turned out, in the modern world there are completely different conventions for acquiring clothing. All attire, from shoes to underwear, can be found in one parlor, and there are hundreds of different styles and materials to choose from.

Killian, who had worn clothes tailored for his own measurements centuries before, never had the trouble of comparing his body proportions of the “male standard”. Looking at the fancy tags and the numbers on them, he was frankly in a stupor.

After half an hour of wandering between the rows of hangers, he asked the woman behind the counter for help. Another tedious fifteen minutes of explaining to her that he did not know his hip circumference and pant length passed, and with a “these should be your style, rockstar”, he received several pairs of black breeches of unfamiliar fabric and was directed to a small room with a full-length mirror.

Undressing with both hands felt unusual, but once he'd remained in his underwear, he began to pull on the tight and coarse fabric one leg at a time. Once they were up, Killian tried fastening the front button. He failed. The trousers squeezed his hips and thighs, but the waist didn't budge further.

"These don't fit," he called out to the woman behind the curtain.

"Well, you didn't tell me your size, sir! Try another pair."

The same thing happened with the other two items of clothing. His hindquarters were just too wide for "jeans".

"I would suggest you try the women's cut, but I'm afraid the length of the legs'd be too short. Hang on, I'll bring a few more sizes. Give me a minute."

Killian settled down on the small ottoman in the corner, waiting, gloomily looking down at the crumpled heap of black fabric by his feet. It wasn't Captain Hook's proudest moment. Once he had nothing to occupy himself with, his mind was going restless. He thought about the upcoming evening, then of Emma, then of his hand, then of Gold, and then the lines of the stupid song he had heard days prior and has already forgotten popped back into his head. He, too, has got back.

[winonarollirl]

concept cer v1

it’s. probably obvious where this is going but regardless

the tldr of what’s in my head is basically what follows (in comparison to uni, since she’s fully meant as a sort of weird au replacement thing as a comfort (i’m going to be acting under the idea that this is like. a whole thing. so. sorry if this is like. weird. especially sorry if keeping barruni and carruni a thing in this is kinda odd but they’re both rather important so-))

demon dog thing. legally has four parents since all three heads of her cerberus parent are separate people (it’s actually two women and a guy, fun fact there. her dog parent is a guy too)

horns probably function similarly to uni’s in terms of lighting up, and the ethereal glow definitely stays for all three reactions

a pair of secondary, magic heads shows up near her own when she’s using magic. they don’t have proper sentience, and she calls them Leftie and Rightie

bi but extremely closed off to the idea of a relationship, which doesn’t exactly change by v4. she WANTS a relationship, she just doesn’t think she deserves one.

fucking HORRIFIED when the puppets start kissing. equally as mortified when. y’know. immediately after, since she’s trying to simultaneously grapple with her feelings on barry AND her self image when it comes to anything romantic at like, nearly all times (the barry part is mostly during late v3 / v4 though)

probably gonna edit this one to include a mention of an equivalent to the end of v4 since that’s not out yet

up until barry’s show and tell blow up, cer genuinely thinks his aggression towards her is just him teasing to some degree, since she does the exact same thing to people, just.. actually meant as teasing

after barry’s blow up, cer gets. fucking PISSED with him for a while. it’s more of a mutual not talking to eachother, since cer is rather insecure about her identity as a funny little demon hybrid anyway, and since she lacks the context to know why barry’s so insistent against magic, she just assumes he’s genuinely that stubborn on his own, and takes major offense to it.

she made junicer as a jab at barry, basically. in a way, going ‘what now, smart guy. i brought this fucking thing to LIFE. how’d i do that, huh? HUH??’

had two exes before winding up in sparklecare. a girl in middleschool and a boy in highschool. constantly blames herself for both ending.

carruni (ceroline?) probably would uh. mirror a better version of what i’m going through now. the two were close anyway, cer asked for physical comfort, received it, rapidly started majorly crushing.

NOT happy about the mere idea of crushing on barry at ALL since she uh. kinda realizes while she’s still mad at him for something small.

really uncomfortable with being addressed as just ‘Bernard’ (since barry addresses uni as just Cornelius, so i feel like the same thing would apply here) but stopped trying to fight it within like the first week

probably genuinely bonded with caroline over a shared love of chewing on things you really shouldn’t (the adhd..)

YEAH I AM SO SORRY IF THIS IS LIKE. SUPER CRINGE. AND. WEIRD. BUT. IVE BEEN FUCKING GOING THROUGH IT AND I THOUGHT “HEY IF ANY FANDOM WOULD BE OKAY WITH ME USING AN AU OF THE SOURCE MATERIAL WITH A PARTIAL SELF INSERT FOR COMFORT IT’D BE SPARKLECARE”

[lananiscorner]

The Sandman rewatch - Calliope

So I like to do this thing where, if I didn’t consider a show a complete waste of time and if it does have an actual arc spanning the season, I watch the season twice–once as a binge watch and then once more episode by episode, because it helps me notice things I didn’t notice at first, especially in cases like this where I’m almost entirely unfamiliar with the source material.

I apologize that the second part of this episode is coming so late—I got a new PC and had to set everything up again properly, so I didn’t have time for it until now.

Trigger warnings: mentions of sexual abuse and rape beneath the cut.

Also, lots of swearing because this one… is kind of personal for me.

Well, we’re starting off with a statement that’s very relatable to any writer: the character comes first.

Wow, way to crush the soon-to-be doctor’s writing dreams, Richard.

Yeah, this Erasmus Fry guy is not suspicious and unlikable from the start AT ALL.

Ok, so Erasmus desperately wants a bezoar for it’s detoxing qualities. Can I infer that he’ll be dead soon? Good.

So not only does this old bastard keep a muse locked up against her will—he keeps her locked up in a dusty old storage room. The actual fuck.

Ah, the old “I’ll set you free before I die” promise. Yeah, I don’t think that one’s ever been upheld by anyone.

She is literally |this| close to decking him in the face. I wish she had, but there’s probably some kind of spell preventing her too.

And we can add “victim-blaming coward” to the list of descriptors for her captor. Fuck you, Erasmus Fry.

“But I must say I found force most efficacious.” Holy. Kangaroo. On. A. Pogostick!

Alright, so actual props to the writing team for saying “rape” without saying “rape”, but what the actual fuck… Erasmus deserves whatever nastiness is coming to him.

Oh, and we’re using the “she’s not human, so it’s ok” defense? Fuck you, Erasmus Fry.

That little smirk on Calliope’s face though, when he says that all his work is out of print now. We stan.

“Little cow”? What the actual hell…

Wow, this guy even negs his fellow writer. What a specimen.

Okay, Richard, this is where you say “you know what, I don’t like this, you can go”.

But nooo, instead we’re installing a second lock on the door! That will surely inspire trust and collaboration!

“Do you think you could… help me first?” Dude, you literally just took slave ownership of an immortal being AND INSTALLED A SECOND LOCK ON HER DOOR in a clear sign of your lack of trustworthiness, what the fuck do you think? Do you even have a brain?

Calliope’s not buying it. Good for her.

Blinking Cursor Of The Empty Page is honestly the most relatable character in this so far.

Yeah dude, don’t open Reddit, Twitter or Insta when you’re trying to write. That way lies the devil of distraction. You should know better.

Okay, so, I can’t believe I am writing this, but I will give him credit for making an ATTEMPT at the entire wooing thing at least. Should he have asked her first what “wooing” exactly means for a muse? Yes. But an attempt was made. He gets a D for effort.

“An artist prays to the muses. He offers vows of service and devotion to the goddesses in exchange for divine inspiration.” Memo to myself: build small altar to Calliope.

“You gave Erasmus Fry what he wanted.” DUDE… Which fucking part of of the word “force” do you not understand??

Dude… your lack of creativity and poor financial choices are NOT comparable to decades of captivity and sexual abuse. Get your head out of your fucking arse.

Daaaamn, Calliope all but saying “yeah, I hear you and I’ll help you, just free me”. She is way too good for this dude. I would have been like “fuck off back to your empty pages” already.

And fuck you too, Richard Madoc.

Once again, props to the writer and director for making very clear what’s happening without being gratuitous about it—that fade to black, the sound of the lock, Richard’s half-buttoned shirt and the scratch on his cheek are really all we need.

I love that they are referencing the 3 OG muses here in Calliope’s prayer (meditation, remembrance and song). They are so much less known than the 9 Calliope belongs to.

Oh hey, it’s the fates! Please don’t give her some cryptic bs advice that won’t help her at all. She’s already dealing with enough shit.

Alright, so I know that this exposition dialogue about Calliope’s relationship with Dream is supposed to be very tragic, but imo the real tragedy here is that Calliope and Morpheus had a son and named him… Orpheus. You are a literal muse and the king of dreams! You have literally endless inspiration and THAT is what you name your child? I can’t.

Well, at least the fates were not being super cryptic or vague this time.

“I think it probably speaks to the author’s pretension.” YOOOOOO! Go off, random lady!

“I do tend to regard myself as a feminist writer.” FUCK YOU, RICHARD MADOC!

Okay, but this line hits pretty hard upon rewatch, because in my current active franchise (FE3H), we literally just witnessed two users getting bullied off social media by a bunch of Reddit dudes who use their “defense of a feminist icon character” as a moral shield, painting themselves as feminists while harassing RL people, some of whom are women. Like, this is just so fucking vile.

“From the women in my life.” That’s a very nice way of putting “from the woman I am locking up and raping in the room upstairs”, Richard Madoc. God, I wanna strangle him and Erasmus.

And of course he’s now four successful novels into his career and STILL not letting her go.

“Can you not allow yourself to enjoy our success?” Oh, you mean “can you not allow yourself to enjoy me getting rich off of literally raping you for inspiration?” What a pretentious fucking prick.

That tiny smile of hers when she sees that the sleeping sickness is over and puts 1 and 2 together. <3

Ooh, and it’s the melody of the Dreaming making its comeback as she goes downstairs to look for pen and paper! <3

Bwahahaha, he said the name for her. Congrats, Richard, you just fucked yourself.

Richard about Erasmus: “He was… very kind.” As kind as a chain saw to the nuts, you mean.

Ahahaha, he poisoned himself! Serves him right, old bastard. Good fucking riddance, Erasmus Fry!

Alright, now this scene with Calliope and Dream… this fucking scene. There is so much goodness here, especially if you have personal experience with being an SA survivor, which I unfortunately do, so here’s a numbered list before I start screaming into the void:

Note how Dream, who was imprisoned for longer than Calliope, lost his beloved raven, and then had to deal with Joanna, Lucifer, John Dee, the Corinthian and a fucking Vortex to get any semblance of normalcy back into his life, instantly, and without hesitation, states that he thinks that what Calliope went through was worse. It is SO freaking common for men to not take SA seriously, so to hear someone who’s canonically a bit of an insensitive prick who went through plenty of trauma himself STILL acknowledge it for the absolute fate worse than death that it is is just so… validating? Tearjerkingly heartwarming?

“Comparing our suffering only compounds it.” What a raw line from Calliope! No, we’re not here to play Suffering Olympics. We both went through awful shit. The best we can do is try to move on.

Calliope, who said that she despises Dream, still acknowledging that what he went through was awful and she’s glad he’s free (even though she literally is not, right now). No jealousy, just relief. What a queen.

Calliope to Richard: Please free me? Richard: lol nope. Calliope to Dream: Please inspire him to free me? Dream: All that and more. -- Absolute legend.

Calliope pointing out that no punishment could be enough—and you can see in Dream’s face that she’s got a point that he hadn’t considered, because no matter how awful he thinks Richard treated her, at the end of the day, he knows nothing of her pain, her loss, and vengeance will not bring back what he took from her. I wonder if he thought back to his conversation with Death in that moment—about how all he had been able to think about during his own imprisonment was vengeance, but when he finally got it, it wasn’t satisfying at all.

Calliope: Why? Because I was once yours? Dream: Because he hurt you. -- Do I have to explain this one? Like, honestly, one of the worst things about SA is how demeaned and devalued it can make a person feel, and I could only imagine how sharply Calliope must have felt that, given that neither Erasmus nor Richard considered her worthy of being treated with humanity simply because she is more than human, and here is Dream saying “you are enough—I don’t need a selfish reason to want to hurt the bastard—he hurt YOU, and that’s more than enough.” ;_;

Dream asking PERMISSION from Calliope to let him help her. She is the one who called for him, so one could say consent is implied, but after 60 years of her consent being denied, Dream realizes “implied” no longer cuts it and instead asks for her EXPLICIT consent. With a “please” on top! I’m not sure we’ve even heard him use that word in any other episode. Absolute legend.

That look of ice cold murder when she asks him what he’ll do to Richard. CHILLS!!!

And one final word in this scene: note how Dream does not touch Calliope. They were married once. They had a kid. He’s made it clear he still has feelings for her even though it’s been thousands of years and she said she never wanted to see him again… but he does not touch her. It’s such a small detail, but from the perspective of an SA survivor, that’s HUGE.

I just love every second of this entire fucking scene. Brb, gotta find and murder whoever is cutting onions here.

“Be quiet.” Jesus… Tom Sturridge does “unnervingly polite, tranquil fury” so fucking well!

“I will not call any HUMAN agency.” And that is when it probably dawned on Richard that he had fucked up.

The way Dream rose without blinking when Richard tried to weasel his way out of this—perfection! The sheer disgust with which he spits the word “defiled” (for anyone who hadn’t put 1 and 2 together yet)--sublime!

Dream here with the classical punishments—like, this is the kind of stuff you’d legit see in ancient Greek myth. Oh, you wanna see the future? I’ll let you see the future, but I’ll also make sure no-one will ever believe you. You want ideas? I’ll give you too many to handle.

Calliope’s smile when Richard asks her if she’s giving him nightmares now. <3

That moment when he sees Dream in the audience—perfection.

Okay, but most of his ideas are actually rubbish, which is understandable, give whose brain they are springing from, except maybe for the one of a city where the streets are paved with time. I would read that.

Imagine you’re a woman attending a reading by your favorite author and then he starts scribbling stuff on the walls in blood and talking about how he’s keeping a woman locked up in his mansion—like, at that point I’d just leave. Maybe call 911/equivalent on my way out.

And just when you think Erasmus Fry cannot get any worse since he is… you know… dead for several months at this point, we find out that the book he was particularly proud of and wanted to go back into print, was the one with the byline “She was his muse… and the slave of his lust!” FUCK THIS ASSHOLE!

Awww, Calliope’s back in her normal clothes with her traditional hairdo!

And just in case we think Dream’s thoughtfulness was a fluke, when Calliope says she’ll work to rewrite the laws she was bound by, because neither she nor her sisters had any agency in those, Dream assures her he’ll make sure to make those changes in his realm as well. Legend!

“I will not forgive what he has done, but I must forgive the man. Not for him. For me.” Translation: “I do not want to spend the rest of my eternal life feeling angry and hurt every time I think of this dude—I want him to become worm food like he deserves and let his memory fade into the sunless lands.” Kudos, Calliope.

And again, Dream being like “I don’t get it, I think you’re too nice, but it’s not about me, it’s about YOU and if that’s what you want, sure I’ll let him go”.

Meanwhile, in a nice little parallel, Richard Madoc is STILL not listening to a thing the women in his life are saying (i.e. not bothering to answer Nora’s questions).

Also, on one hand, yes, it’s very… Dream… of Dream, to stop the punishment he inflicted, but to do so in a way that’s even more punishing, but I think there’s another reason he did it too: at the end, Richard doesn’t even remember anymore who the woman he kept locked up was, which means he won’t be able to go after her and try to capture her again, he won’t be able to publicize what he did to her as some kind of vengeful, victim-blaming BS (see Erasmus wanting that one particular book to go back into print), and he won’t be able to try to go after her sisters either. He will no longer be able to reap any further benefit of the “gifts” he already took from her either, because he’s in no further condition to coordinate sequels, adaptations, interviews, whatever. Dream has made sure that Richard no longer has any avenue to hurt Calliope further or get further gains from the hurt he already inflicted.

Dream be like: okay, that was enough of an emotional roller coaster for now—the talk about our dead son will have to wait.

And at the end of it all, it is Calliope who touches him, not the other way around. ;_;

Finally, I love that we end this episode not with Richard or Dream, but with Calliope, happy and free. Perfect place to end it.

[whataboutmyfries]

Kiss me Bite me

Hello folks! prompt number 6 from this prompt list! i'm ngl, I wanted this one to be sweet and soft, but then my characters stared doing angsty shit. All tws are in the tags so please be careful, and watch out for yourself! and Enjoy!

Unbetaed, we die like men.

6. kisses that start out gentle but grows more passionate

~

Where was he? Where was he? 

Remus paced the length of the candlelit shelter restlessly, checking and double checking the reinforced perimeter of their little camp. Leo, Logan and Finn had long since gone to bed, Remus and Dumo having volunteered to take the first watch. 

Remus stroked the barrel of his shotgun, his fingers toying with the little charm that Sirius had given him way back when this hellish thing had first started. 

He’d never in a million years wagered he’d be one of the few survivors of something as destructive as a killer virus driving people to become…..those things. 

He still remembered the time he and Sirius had watched The Train to Busan, the two of them bickering over the best strategy to survive an apocalypse. Remus snorted at the memory, though his heart clenched, remembering days long since gone and easier times. 

And now here they were. Remus could’ve scoffed at the irony if he wasn't so damn worried.

He flashed his light twice, catching Dumo’s attention. 

Any sign of him? He signed across the distance, temporarily tucking his gun under an arm. 

Not yet. Sorry. Dumo signed.

Remus sighed, giving Dumo a small smile and a wave in thanks. ASL and Morse had quickly become a necessity when they’d started figuring out how the zombies worked, using mostly sight to find their victims, but switching easily to sound during the nighttime. 

Remus had figured that one out the hard way. 

He still remembered the time Sirius and he had gone scouting for food; Sirius standing watch while Remus snuck into the store,just having evaded a Pack. It had never even occurred to them that the zombies might have the facilities to recognise their prey through sound when they’d lost a light source, much like the dusty, cramped shop. Luckily enough, Remus had escaped with just a scar. He still shuddered to think of how close the thing had come to sinking its teeth into the flesh of his arms before Sirius had blown its head clean off. 

Goddammit Sirius, where are you? 

The steady crunch of gravel had Remus whipping his head around to find the source of the noise, his heart fluttering with hope even as he shouldered his gun. 

Come back to me, sweetheart. Come back to me. 

Remus fought back tears as Sirius’s muddy bicycle came closer through the darkness, the man in question shooting a grin at his boyfriend as he pedalled his way to camp. Remus gave himself all of ten seconds to feel the crushing relief, the tears slipping free silently before he brushed them away. 

It never got easier, the waiting. 

Remus sniffed sharply, once, twice, before he flashed his light in Dumo’s direction. 

Dumo gave him a thumbs up, jogging off to set up their surveillance and traps before they settled down for the night. Remus silently thanked Dumo, making a mental note to surprise him with a free night for Celeste and him. Remus didn’t mind pulling extra shifts to help ‌a friend. 

“Hey there moonpie.” 

Remus bit back a sob, putting his gun down before turning to face his husband. 

Immediately, the breath was punched out of his lungs as he saw Sirius; bloodied and limping, holding a hand to his abdomen. 

No. 

Remus’s brain went haywire, taking stock of whatever injuries he could see. Sirius had a couple of bruises on his face, though those were normal and not exactly cause of concern. The right side of his shirt was soaked through and stuck to his body, though it was impossible to tell how big the stain of blood was through the black material. He was dragging his left leg as he walked, though it would be impossible to tell how bad his injuries were with the thick pants and combat boots. 

“Fuck.” 

Sirius laughed, finally reaching Remus, leaning forward to rest his head against Remus’s shoulder. 

“Didn’t know that I’d make it back t’night moons.” 

He was slurring his words. Shit. 

Remus shoved away the panic, calming his breathing and steadying his hands as he slipped into the all-too-familiar state of mind; Clinical, precise, sharp. 

“Pads? Think you can walk? We need to get you patched up.” 

“Hmmmm?” 

Sirius was too far gone to be coherent. Remus swallowed, stubbornly pushing his worry away as he scooped his husband into his arms, walking him to the medic tent, taking care to jostle him as little as possible. 

Please. Please let him be okay. 

Sirius came back to consciousness as Remus was cutting off his shirt, the wind cool on his bare chest. A gust of wind told him Remus had already divested him of his pants and boots, leaving him in his underwear. 

Remus snipped at the fabric, sucking in a breath as he beheld Sirius’s bare torso. 

It looked worse than it was. It looked worse than it actually was.

Remus sent up a prayer to whatever powers may be as he quickly cleaned up the gash, using butterfly stitches to close the worst of it before covering up the wound, all as Sirius watched. 

“Hey moons”

“Pads, I am never letting you leave camp by yourself again.” 

Sirius frowned. Then sighed. “Yeah. It was stupid, I’m sorry.”

Remus finally let the magnitude of his panic hit him, the adrenaline coursing through his veins at top speed, making his hands shaky and his breathing erratic. 

“We have rules. Those rules exist for a fucking reason Sirius, this isn’t a goddam joke!” 

Sirius flinched away from Remus’s anger, bringing his hands up in surrender. 

“Moony I—” 

Remus shoved a shaking finger in his face. “Don’t you fucking dare ‘moony’ me right now. Don't even try it.” 

Sirius winced at the barely restrained anger in Remus’s tone as he watched him shove his hands roughly through his hair. 

“I’m sorry I—”

“Sorry? You’re Sorry?! Do you have any idea what we were going through? Dumo was beside himself. Logan barely ate, and let's not even talk about James.”

Remus clenched his jaw, his eyes burning golden in the light.

“You traipsed out of here like you were going on a fucking holiday. Like those things out there wouldn’t kill you the second  they caught wind of you. Oh wait, thank the fucking lord you have your bloody bicycle to get away from them! Good job Pads! Foolproof plan you got there! No chance of you ending up dead!” 

Sirius flinched. 

“And then you have the audacity to come back to camp bleeding and ‘hey moony’ me like nothing happened. Do you even realise what I must’ve been thinking? Do you have even the faintest clue what you looked like? I almost fucking lost you Sirius! So no, don’t tell me you’re fucking sorry.” 

Sirius swallowed around the lump in his throat, pushing himself into sitting, grimacing at the pain that shot down his leg and torso. 

“C’mere.” 

Remus sucked in an unsteady breath, stepping closer to Sirius’s bed. Sirius leaned forward, tugging his husband closer, wrapping him up in a tight hug.

Remus’s breath caught, and he choked on a sob, his arms coming up to clutch at Sirius for dear life, his fingers digging into Sirius’s bare back. 

“Don’t you ever do that again” Remus choked out between sobs, pulling Sirius impossibly closer to him, needing to feel every inch of his bloodied and battered husband. 

Sirius winced a little at the feeling of Remus’s arms against the scratches on his back, but he couldn’t help but pull him closer, burying his face in the crook of his neck. 

Remus melted into the embrace, heaving sobs wracking his frame as he cried, Sirius whispering sweet nothings into his hair, his neck, his ear. 

“I love you, mon loup, I’ve got you.” 

Sirius held him until his tears had softened to a trickle, until his cries had reduced to an occasional sniffle against Sirus’s shoulder, until Remus had gathered the pieces of his sanity into some semblance of rationality. He pulled back, amber eyes finding quicksilver. 

“Don’t ever do that again.”

“I won’t” 

“Promise?”

Sirius smiled, tucking a wayward curl behind Remus’s ear. “I promise.” 

Remus closed his eyes for a second, letting the words wash over him, basking in the presence of his husband; here, safe, alive. He leaned into the warmth of Sirius’s hand at his neck, leaning to rest their foreheads together. 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too. So very much.” 

“C’mere” 

Sirius leaned forward to close the distance between their lips, feeling the gentle brush of Remus’s mouth send fireworks down his spine, warmth suffusing every part of his body. He sighed into the kiss, achingly tender and honey-sweet, as he slipped his hands under Remus’s sweater. 

Remus moaned at the feel of icy fingers against his spine, and the sound snapped something in Sirius, who took the opportunity to deepen the kiss; slipping his tongue into Remus’s mouth, swallowing his gasp of surprise as he ran his hands up Remus’s body. 

Remus responded with equal enthusiasm, tugging gently at Sirius's hair as he climbed into his lap, carefully straddling those strong thighs. They were gasping into each other's mouths, hands fervently exploring the expanse of warm skin, their lips meeting in a fiery kiss, desperation thrumming through every movement. Remus was the first to pull away, leaning back on his heels, ever careful to keep his weight off of Sirius’s injuries. 

Sirius groaned at the loss of contact, even as Remus huffed a laugh, a thumb still stroking Sirius’s cheekbone as he pressed a kiss to his forehead. 

“I know love, I know. But we’ve got to get you cleaned up and out of those filthy clothes.” 

Sirius let out a gasp of mock horror, “Remus John Lupin, are you implying that I smell?” 

Remus rolled his eyes, the effect of the motion completely ruined by the fond smile tugging at his lips. “Like a wet dog.” 

Sirius pouted, and Remus giggled, leaning forward to drop a chaste kiss on his lips.

“Come on, shower, hot chocolate and bed?”

Sirius frowned, considering the offer. “Only if you join me, only with marshmallows, and only if you let me borrow your hoodie.” 

Remus laughed, “Deal. But the water’s probably going to hurt like a bitch and you can’t be pissy when I’m cleaning up the rest of your wounds after."

Sirius winced, then grinned. “Deal. Now what was that about a shower, loverboy?” 

~

If you can spot the little very very baby ACOMAF reference in here I'm looking slyly at you across our dashboards :) also, the rest of the works for this prompt list can be found here!