#they might help you focus -> help your school -> help your self esteem -> help your energy etc

[t4tstarvingdog]

😁👍 i'm winning at therapy

[heartlilith]

Sun in the Houses - Solar Return Chart

A Solar Return Chart "refers to the time when the Sun returns to the exact position it was in at the time of your birth in your natal chart. Since the Sun takes approximately 12 months to complete its cycle. Hence, a Solar Return happens every year. And, since this journey begins at the time of your birth, the return usually happens a day or two before or after your birthday" (via)

I like to think of an SR Chart as a yearly Natal Chart. You can see where the planets of your SR Chart fall into your Natal Chart or you can view your SR Chart by itself. I think both are important to acknowledge because you might relate to one chart more than the other or you might relate to both charts. For example; if you have Sun in the 10th house of your SR Chart but it falls into your 2nd house of your Natal Chart, look at both houses below (Sun in the 10th and Sun in the 2nd).

It's also important to remember that your sun sign will be the same every year, so if you're a Leo Sun in your Natal Chart, you'll be a Leo Sun every year in your SR Chart. Your Sun Sign might stay the same but the house it falls in and the aspects it makes will be different.

The Sun in your SR Chart represents where your focus is for the next 12 months, where you'll be concentrating the most. It also represents key themes that show up for you throughout the year. It's crucial to look at how your Sun is aspected to get a better glimpse of how you this placement will affect you.

Calculate your Solar Return Chart

Sun in the Houses

1h: Sun in the 1st house of your Solar Return Chart means your focus will primarily be on yourself, your physical appearance, and how you approach life. Since your natal sun sign would be your solar return rising, it could make for a more transformative and prosperous year. This year, you might decide to reinvent yourself physcially in some way; you may start working out or you could get tattoos. You could dye your hair or revamp your wardrobe; something that puts an emphasis on your individuality and that asserts your identity through physical appearance. It could also mean that your personality is more noticeable in some way and the people around you take notice. Since your rising sign affects the way you approach the world, it could also mean that you assert confidence in various aspects of life. Meaning, wherever you go you go with confidence; whether that be the workplace, school, or at home; you're generally more confident in all aspects of life (of course this also depends on the signs occupying corresponding houses). You might find that you get more attention this year (good or bad depending on aspects) or feel more comfortable with getting attention. You may go through something that changes your approach to life and the world around you. Remember you don't have to have intent, you could find that these things happen on their own, naturally.

Advice: Focus on how you want to appear to the world this year, put yourself and your needs first, and don't be afraid to express yourself - it's a great time to do so. People will pay more attention to you, so try to stay out of drama and scandals. Instead; aim to inspire the people around you.

2h: Sun in the 2nd house of your Solar Return Chart puts focus on your finances, your self-esteem, and your material possessions. Depending on how the Sun is aspected, it could mean that you're motivated to find other sources of income in order to bring more stability into your life. Check where the lord of your 2nd house is in your SR Chart (if 2nd house is in Taurus - check where Venus is in the houses, if it's in Gemini, check where Mercury falls in your houses). This can indicate how you can create another source of income. If it's in the 3rd house; writing and communicating can help you make more money, like blogging or becoming a free lance writer. If it's in the 5th house, creating and selling a product could help or even babysitting. You could also be focusing on saving money and budgeting. Your self esteem and values could change depending on how it's aspected. For example: Sun opposite Uranus could indicate that your self esteem fluctuates and is unstable for this year, along with your finances. Sun sextile/trine Jupiter could indicate that this year will bring wealth and you'll be secure within yourself. Sun in the 2nd house could make you focus more on material possessions; you could buy more stuff (purses, make up, clothes, jewelry) in order to boost your self esteem. You might stand up for yourself more when you notice people disrespecting you or you might need to change your personality in some way; if people are taking advantage of you, you might notice you need to act more assertive, for example.

Advice: Save your money incase unexpected expenses come up, take time out for yourself to practice self care, occasionally buy yourself a gift, learn how to invest

3h: Sun in the 3rd house of your Solar Return Chart puts focus on communication, siblings, short distance travel and transportation. This could manifest as keeping a journal this year to write down your thoughts and experiences. You may notice you're more curious this year and find ways to satisfy your curiosity; through reading, online research, and short distance travel. You may travel to new places like a new restaurant, a new beach, a new place that's close to where you are now. You're more inclined to share your thoughts and opinions with confidence and engage in meaningful conversations with others. You could make friends with people through similar interests; joining a book club and meeting a new friend or finding a new library to go to and meeting someone there. You will be full of mental energy that could manifest as anxiety depending on how your Sun is aspected. The relationships with your siblings might change for better or for worse or you might notice you spend more time with them. You might want to get involved in your community by volunteering, substitute teaching, reading to the elderly. You could start a successful blog that shares information on what you're interested in (astrology, fashion, psychology).

Advice: Getting into therapy would be very beneficial now, try new things and hobbies, join interesting clubs and try things you normally wouldn't.

4h: Having your Sun in the 4th house of your Solar Return Chart can bring family, your mother, and your home environment into focus. You might start thinking about starting a family, or someone in your family could become pregnant. You might visit your family a lot more this year and spend more time with them or your parents might visit your home a lot more. You'll want to focus on making your home more "homey" and decorating it in a way that aligns with who you are. You may become closer with your mother and spend more time with her. If harshly aspected, you may notice your mother (4h) and your father (Sun) may divorce or fight a lot more this year (this depends on other placements too). You may find that you'd rather be at home than go out, you'll be more introverted and prioritize comfort. You may have to stay home against your will due to duties related to children or maybe you have to stay home to take care of your mother or parents. Depending on Sun aspects, this could mean harmonious relationships with your family or it could mean more arguments. You might order a 23 and Me test to find out more about your ancestry and nationality.

Advice: Spend more time trying to get your family together, create happy memories with them and take pictures so you can look back on it. Focus on your home space and implement things that make it more comfortable. Invite people over for events or maybe throw a house warming party.

5h: Sun in the 5th house means focusing on hobbies, creativity, having fun, your inner child and children in general this year. This could mean less work and more play, whether that happens naturally or intentionally. You might take off work to go on vacation or even take work off to do something fun with your kids. You might pick up an old hobby or a new hobby that takes up your free time. Going out, being with friends, going to parties, throwing parties, or doing whatever your definition of fun is will be highlighted this year. You may notice that you're around more children this year which could result in connecting with your own inner child. For example, blowing bubbles with kids or pushing them on a swing could remind you of your own happy childhood memories. Connecting with your inner child this year is crucial; eating your favorite childhood meal, looking through old photos, or engaging in conversations with kids will be really beneficial. Self expression through hobbies, art, or writing can interest you this year. Since Sun in home in the 5th house, this almost always gaurantees an overall comfortable year (if Sun is badly aspected, this placement could make the aspects less intense). You could be more extroverted, creative, and carefree this year. You may find that you go on more dates or spend time on dating apps.

Advice: Focus on pleasure. What makes you happy? Your inner child happy? Try expressing yourself through artistic endeavors. Don't take life so seriously this year.

6h: Sun in the 6th house in the Solar Return Chart can indicate increased focus on physical health and wellness, daily routines, and your relationship to your peers/coworkers. This year you could end up making a dietary change; becoming a vegetarian or simply cutting out sugar. You could focus on what makes you feel good physically; working out and eating healthy. Depending on how the Sun is aspected, this could help you to "glow up" this year. You may try out yoga, pilates, or another workout class that interests you. Your daily routines will help you become more confident. We already talked about working out and eating healthy; this could also mean starting a skincare routine, a bedtime routine, or simply jotting down tasks in your planner. You may seek out alternative healing methods as well, again check aspects. This could include Traditional Chinese Medicine (acupuncture, medicinal herbs) or reiki and meditation in order to benefit your health. Relationships with peers/coworkers will be in focus as well, whether positively or negatively is up to the whole chart itself. Your energy levels can also be affected by the Sun and its' aspects.

Advice: Don't gossip in the workplace, adopt a pet, focus on how to spend your time more efficiently, start implementing positive habits in your daily routines.

7h: Sun in the 7th house in the Solar Return Chart can indicate focusing on love relationships, one on one friendships, and open enemies. You will want to get along with people in your life, you'll strive to have harmony and balance in these relationships. If you don't have a romantic partner, this might be the year that you meet someone special. Write down what qualities you want in a partner and see how they correspond with your natal 7th house. Manifesting and actively seeking a partner could help but it might just happen without your intention! If you have a romantic partner already, the Sun here makes you buckle down and really work on making the relationship flourish, or even taking it to the next level. This could be as big as getting engaged or married, or it could mean moving in together. It could be as little as meeting their parents or having them meet yours. All of this depends on the rest of the chart and if you look at house placements and aspects you can get a better sense of how you'll grow closer. The same goes for one on one connections in terms of friendships. You might grow closer to a friend or friends over the year. The 7th house also rules open enemies. Depending on aspects of the Sun this can be more or less prominent. Sun square Mars, for example, may mean that men with Aries or Scorpio-like qualities (doesn't have to be their Sun sign but can be) can brush you the wrong way or these people could even start arguments with you.

Advice: Focus on the positives and express to your lover or friend what you appreciate about them. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Stick up for yourself in a way that creates peace or better yet, kill the haters with kindness. Ask yourself why certain traits and aspects of other people bother you.

8h: Sun in the 8th house puts focus on personal and financial transformations, self discovery, intimacy, and shared resources. I won't lie, the 8th house can be a tough bid. All houses have their good and bad qualities but the 8th house is all about change which is uncomfortable for most. The good part about 8th house Sun is when you look back on your Solar Return a year from now, you'll be changed in a significant way. It can be hard but it will make you stronger, wiser, and more aligned with your higher self. You will face obstacles this year that will take you out of your comfort zone whether that's intentional or not. You may move out of your parents house and live across the country. You might go to therapy and realize why you act the way you do. You might be moving into your dorm in college this year. Think radical change. You might break up with your partner, move out, quit your job and move back home. It's hard to say exactly what will happen without seeing the rest of the chart because the 8th house rules "Deep personal transformation - " and that's it. Say your 8th house lord is in the 10th house, you'll experience a transformation related to your reputation or career, you may get fired or promoted in a significant way. Your reputation could take a blow or you could become famous. It's hard to tell, again, without looking at the whole chart.

Advice: Take things in stride, try to be your best self, trust yourself and the universe. Be careful with financial matters and contracts. Dive into taboos.

9h: Sun in the 9th house puts learning, long distance travel, and higher education into focus. You will want to expand your horizons in some way whether that be going to college, traveling and learning about different cultures, exploring spiritual practices, or seeking out profound experiences that lead to personal growth. Your year might consist of traveling abroad somewhere and learning about the place's culture. You could appreciate this culture and their values and implement it into your own life. You might go to college or take a course online that interests you in a way that others courses didn't. This course might alter your personality in some way. Say the course is about world religion, after learning about it you might explore it on your own time, for example; Buddhism (technically a philosophy but I digress...), you might take interest in their practice of meditation. You start meditating and it completely changes the way you view life, this could lead to a whole new belief system. You might take up a yoga class and after a couple months you might join your yoga class on a retreat somewhere; this could impact you tremendously and might change your course of life. After the retreat, you might become a yogi or start practicing something intense like Kundalini yoga. The possibilities with this house are endless, but they all start with being curious and wanting to learn something new. Take the first step by exploring other interests, you never know how they will affect your life!

Advice: Try something new this year, be open to new opportunities, quiet your inner critic and be spontaneous, don't let anxiety and insecurity get in your way.

10h: Sun in the 10th house of your Solar Return Chart could bring your career, reputation, and father (or dominant parent) into focus. This could indicate a need to be promoted or recognized by authority in terms of your career. You could get a raise or "climb the corporate ladder", you could find your true passion and open up a business. You might find that your relationship with your father or father figure impacts your personality in some way. You might grow closer or grow farther apart, you might recognize how the relationship affects you in your daily life. Sun in this house brings confidence into the workplace and depending on the aspects, coworkers could be jealous or threatened by that or you might get along well with them and gain popularity. Your reputation could be affected this year either negatively or positively; the Sun here on its own indicates that it will be affected positively but if squares or oppositions are present, it could go the other way. For instance, if Uranus squares your 10th house (aka MC/Midheaven), you might gain a reputation for being irresponsible or unreliable. If you have Venus sextile your MC, you may gain a reputation of being lovable and sociable and your relationship with your boss will be positive.

Advice: Be confident in the workplace and share your ideas. Don't be afraid to stand out. Try your best to create harmonious relationships with coworkers and if you're being treated poorly, stand up for yourself in a mature way. Ask for that promotion or raise.

11h: Sun in the 11th house of the Solar Return Chart puts friendships, community, and social media into your focus for the year. You will have the desire to expand your social circle or it can happen on it's own! You will want to be surrounded by like minded people that share your interests and ideas. The sign that occupies this house in your SR and Natal Chart can give you greater insight. If you have Scorpio in the 11th house of your Natal Chart, the friends you gain might hold some sort of power, they might transform you in some way (and this is true throughout your whole life). The ruler of the 11th house in your Solar Return Chart, say for example; Taurus, would fall into your Natal 5th house. Meaning the friends you make could have Scorpio/Taurus/Leo and even Aquarius placements (fixed signs). You could meet them through your children (the parents of your child's friend or you could connect with someone at a daycare while picking up your kids). You could meet these friends at a Paint n' Sip. You could meet a friend while going on a double date (think 5th house themes). Either way, they'll most likely have fixed sign energy and have planets falling in your natal 2nd, 5th, and 8th, and 11th house. Other than that, you may focus on getting more involved in your community; this could be volunteering or donating clothes to your local goodwill. You could become famous on social media! Or you could gain followers and attract more likes and comments on your posts.

Advice: Put yourself out there and join groups that spike your interest in order to connect with like-minded people. Get involved in your community or donate to a cause that you believe in. Raise money for the less fortunate or buy a meal for the homeless, you could start a chain reaction.

12h: Sun in the 12th house of your Solar Return Chart puts solitude, reflection, hidden enemies, and endings into focus for the year. This indicates that you'll be more introverted than ever, even if your Sun sign is the most extroverted of all the zodiac signs. You'll prefer to be alone which could sometimes lead to a feeling of loneliness. Sun in the 12th house could mean that you're your own worst enemy. Let go of limiting beliefs or insecurities; it's a good time to release problems relating to your ego since the 12th house also rules endings. The Sun shines a bright light on the house of the unknown, this could lead to finding out secrets or uncovering truths that could hurt your self esteem. If you're spiritual, you could connect more to your beliefs in some way (starting to pray more, going to church on Sundays, or reading books on Chakras and Crystal Healing, for example). If badly aspected, you could be hospitalized or in need of rehabilitation of some sort. Don't use drugs, don't gamble, don't take unnecessary risks. Focus on your mental health and reflect on who you are and what you'd like to change. The Sun in the 12th house could also signify an "ego death" which could put you through something significant that could change every aspect of who you are, since the Sun is the self. This could be as serious as a near fatal car accident or a near death experience of some sort (especially if Pluto/Mars are prominent). It could be as simple as helping others out and realizing that the collective is more important than the self and ego. Be patient with yourself this year and trust your intuition. Please, trust your intuition.

Advice: Don't take unnecessary risks, trust your gut, develop your psychic powers, start a dream journal, see a therapist. Ask for help when you need help, help someone in need, put yourself in other peoples' shoes. Go on a retreat and work on your relationship with yourself.

[galene-gothic]

𝖧𝗈𝗐 𝗍𝗈 𝖻𝖾𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖻𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝗌𝖾𝗅𝖿?

୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ I hope this reading found you in good health, every reblog is appreciated and thank you for everything :) ˖♡ ˎˊ˗ ꒰ 🐇 ꒱

˗ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗             PAID SERVICES

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 1 ꒱

Let's look at what your best self looks like first, your best self is selectively honest. They don't tell others what they want next. They evaluate themself and are self critical to a certain extent. They are sort of self absorbed. They understand that ignorance is bliss and know how to ignore things or people when need be. They are especially really good at ignoring people that they can't have or people from the past. They are still quite fearless though. They understand that it's better to be attacked than ignored. They meditate often and know how to relax. They need and prioritise peace, and their actions align with that. They never bite more than they can chew, they know how to step away from situations that they cannot handle. They try to stay away from conflict and choose themself first no matter what. They know how to become the bigger person. They take care of themself, self reflect and know how to heal properly. They know how to not make rash decisions. They're wise and detached. They've surrendered, they know that if they cannot control it, there's no use worrying and if they can control it, it's better to do so rather than worry. They've released old beliefs and patterns. They have a faith that things will work out, be it faith in themself, faith in god, faith in life or faith in the universe. They're mindful, intentional and know how to let go. They know how to grow, they're also successful. They believe that the pain of discipline is better than the pain of regret. They're quite passive and know how to let life happen for them, they're still someone who takes necessary action though. So, how do you become them? You need a rest, not gonna lie.

Some of you might be drained out to the point where you cannot focus in school or on work. You need to address your self esteem issues. Supposing, you are really self conscious when it comes to performing, you always feel like your body won't look good if you put too much energy so you end up putting less energy in but when you do so, you feel disappointed at yourself for not doing well. In that case, you should try to improve your dance skills. You're someone who has an understanding that being pretty doesn't do enough for you, it's the same with being rich, and the way you are as a person and the way you present yourself are all very important to you. I think it's important for you to build certain skills to a point where you can be really proud, it'll significantly boost your self esteem which will in turn help you for the better. It requires consistency though, don't be lazy !! You need to release negative thoughts, feelings, habits and patterns. You might have gotten really comfortable with your pain, it's important to heal. Your deepest traumas are either already surfacing/resurfacing or will soon, that's when it'll be the easiest to change. You need to stop stressing like just know that "what happens, happens." You need to face life and have a total break down first. You should withdraw from stuff. You'll go through something very humbling, you'll be left feeling really put down. You'll not even have it in yourself to look strong anymore, you'll be exposing weakness because you'll just not have the strength to conceal it. You'll have to accept defeat first and things will get better soon. You'll have to have a lot of anger, pain, shame, guilt and regrets in order to completely change your life, all the best, it'll probably come in soon.

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 2 ꒱

Let's look at what your best self looks like, your best self has unlimited potential and sees it. Your best self has freedom in some sense, be it financial or something else. Your best self is someone who had to let go of who they were in order to become who they're meant to be. Your best self has a carefree attitude. I just heard 'be yourself'. When I say this, some of you might think that you're doing it already but if you think about it properly you'll notice that you tend to either act childlike even though you're very mature, dumb even though you're very smart, don't express your values as articulately as you think about them, etc. Some of you could be really good at written expression of your thoughts, ideas and feelings but when it comes to talking, you're not the best. Your best self is not scared of being unique. Your best self takes risks because they understand that most of the times not taking a risk is the biggest risk. Your best self has a thirst for life and is passionate. You might be really passionate as a person (most of you seem to have that side of you diminished though). Your best self has fun regardless of what others say. One quality that you already have is your ability to analyse yourself, you are not the type to avoid accountability and blaming external factors for every little thing. You have some sort of an inner guidance, your mindset gives you the capacity to be completely alone if necessary. I feel like a deep part of you desires or used to desire solitude, peace and spiritual enlightenment. Most of you have started your spiritual journey already, some of you haven't though. It doesn't have to be something too deep like 'light candles every full moon, meditate every morning, light sage and incenses often' but instead that you feel like everything that happened was for a reason or even if it feels like it wasn't.

You learn and make something out of it, you know how to live life and try to grow as a person, and have faith (be it in the universe or in yourself). You might be quite philosophical too. You have a lot of wisdom, people who are slightly older than you and see you for who you are might say things like "you're so mature for your age". Ofcourse, there are some things that you'll have to get rid of in order to become your best self, I feel like most of you have mostly/only had short term unstable relationship/s which have caused you to have a lot of baggage. You could have poor health (I heard a poor immune system, bad sleep schedule and poor gut health). You might also be financially dependent on someone else or just not be financially stable, it's causing you to not be able to gain certain skills or knowledge, etc. Even if you do not notice it, you have a tendency of getting stuck in your head often. You lack spontaneity and need mental stimulation/challenges/someone who seems to be equally as intelligent as you so you could have been stuck in toxic friendships/relationships with people who think that and act like they know everything. You're a very fair person, so being with people who don't share the same values or reasoning as you will be frustrating, I'd advise you to not interact with such people to the point of forming am emotional attachment. You'll have to find a source of motivation or something that just reignites the passion in you. Stop being lazy, simply just planning isn't going to get you anywhere. You need to find a new purpose basically. Focus on a purpose, money, drive and having fun. It's important to learn how to be true to yourself and not get easily influenced. You should go out and have some fun too. All the best, I'm rooting for you but you need to be rooting for yourself ten times harder.

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 3 ꒱

Your best self holds pure intentions towards others and has a good nature. Your best self is also very attractive and follows their heart. They're driven and have a great imagination. They romanticise life and are in love with love. They listen to their intuition and take action towards their goals with a hope in their heart. They have a creative hobby that they might have suppressed that they choose to enhance. They're charming and friendly with people. One thing that I'm getting is that they're someone who everyone has a crush on to a certain extent. They receive a lot of jealousy and envy from others. They don't let anger get the best of them. They think calmly and orderly. They accept different beliefs and paths. They could be someone who's tired though, like really tired physically (they could do a lot). They're accepting of other people's differences. They find solutions to issues instead of going around blaming others. They prioritise peace and don't lose sight of the path. You need to face yourself instead of quick fixing issues that lead to long term detriment. If you're having fights, etc. the moment you forgive them (whether it is at their face or by yourself, without letting them know, that's up to you) and resolve conflicts (including your inner conflicts), you'll start developing into your best self. You have convinced yourself that you have certain beliefs that don't align with you and you need to get rid of them. You're not seeing the brighter side of life and that's hindering you from becoming your best self too.

I feel like what's led to this mild-extreme pessimism is your over optimism in the past. A happy and exciting event seems to have turned wrong. It's going to take you a lot of work to become your best self. You'll have to take up a lot of responsibilities and be really loaded with things to do if you want to become your best self. You'll have to be serious about life and will be stressed quite often. I just heard 'too busy to even eat'. There are excessive requirements and conditions for you to become the best version of yourself. You'll have to put yourself through intense pressure. You'll have to take up a lot of responsibilities too though, try to improve your own character alongside working on building something for yourself. It'll be really easy to burn out though because of how much you'll be doing. You need to mean how to not commit easily to others. You need to challenge others instead of just letting them into your life. Your best self follows their heart but is not easy to get. You need to become hard to get and easy to lose. You need to learn how to make quick decisions and take quick actions. It's important for you to be on a dedicated mission to succeed. Discipline yourself and build confidence. Build so much confidence that when someone you love does you wrong, you know that you can just let go, and find better people and treatment. Become self assured. It's important for you to just go for the things that you want. If you try, you'll get there little by little, all the best.

[umiewrites]

AVERAGE?

19.07.2024

FLUFF ❀˖° SFW ❀˖° Romantic ❀˖° Established relationship, reader has some characterization (ref: tags)

Partner! Izumi × GN! Insecure Reader (Fluff, slight angst with comfort, no pronouns, gendered terms, clothing mentioned for reader. Established relationship. Insecurity, anxiety, low self esteem from reader. Reader is a college student. Izumi comforts you, slight OOC)

Syn: It must be nice to date a famous model and idol~ and yet your thoughts don't stop. Surely he can do better than you. Aren't you just... Average?

"Geez, you're so messy!" Izumi huffed while he pulled out some tissues, wiping the pen marks off of your face. You had been falling asleep in your lectures again, and it's clear.

The other students pass by the entrance, watching and stealing glances at you and Izumi being all close right after getting you out of class. They all recognize one of the big three idols of ES, amazed that he's here at their college campus... Yet their reactions to seeing him pamper you... You can't help but notice them, the way they seem to sneer, wrinkle their face, or even look disappointed...

Or was that just you?

You shook your head, trying to focus on your doting partner scolding and taking care of you, in his own way. He was caring in his own way, never wanting anyone to be anything but their best selves. No matter how arrogant he seems, he never insults anyone or degrades them. Especially not you; so you do your best to push your thoughts away...

Whenever Izumi returns to Japan, he always makes sure to go and see you at least once. One date. That's the bare minimum, but he'd like to keep that and go above if he could, with his tight schedule. He always spoils you, bringing you out shopping, taking you to cafes you might like, or just resting at home. He needs some downtime as well, and the fact that he spends it holding you is honestly, just sweet.

He's nagging you like a mom while you two walk, his hand firmly holding yours; although not enough to hurt. He's always so caring in his own way. Asking how your lectures and studies are going. Always messaging you and checking up on your social media to keep himself updated. He's already a perfect model, perfect idol, and now a perfect partner...

...

They're staring again. Those eyes that linger as you walk past, Izumi by your side. You avoid their eyes, but how is it that you know they're looking at you? They must be. Seeing the beautiful and famous Izumi Sena, and then you in comparison.

You, some average student. The best you've done is maybe earn an award or two in school. Maybe you got some good grades? Did you win that one time during the sports festival? Did you get best in your class sometime?

You don't remember. You were sure they were insignificant anyways. A bulb compared to the star that your partner is. He's beautiful, talented, hardworking... How you ended up with him is... Out of your comprehension.

He's... Making a bad decision. He's making the wrong decision. Is he keeping you like some circus pet he can laugh at? Someone worse so he can feel better about himself? No, he's not that shallow.

Something is wrong here. There's no way you... No way you got him as a partner. It's just impossible. Shouldn't he go for someone equal to him? Someone who can stand and share his spotlight? Someone worthy of his shine? Yet here you are, old clothes that were just randomly stuffed into your closet. Hair decently combed, you suppose? His designer clothes, his perfect skin, hair, and... Everything. Compared to your... Nothing. Something, at best.

He's making a mistake

You must've tricked him or something.

"...hey..."

Who are you?

Standing next to him like this...

"Hey!"

you're...

Nothing.

"Hey— Idiot!"

You snapped out, noticing he's looking at you with his arms crossed, clearly impatient.

"You nearly walked into the traffic! Geez... If I hadn't been holding you, you could have gotten hurt!" He scolded you. You didn't realize you two arrived at a crossroad...

You mumbled a little sorry to him. To think you've been so far into your thoughts that you caused him trouble. Really...

"You seem out of it today. Something happen?" Izumi asked, looking to examine what could be wrong. His tone makes him seem nonchalant, but you know him. He cares, he really does. And you'd rather doubt the sun than doubt his sincerity...

You try to answer, but Izumi can tell there's something more wrong than that...

"Don't try to lie. I know something's bothering you." He took your hand and led you across the road gently when the pedestrian light turned green.

"A frown makes you wrinkle, and stress is bad for you. Spill." He was never one to beat around the bush, as he urged you to tell him what's wrong.

"..." When he noticed your quiet, dismissive reply, he stayed quiet as well. He just led you to a park and picked out a bench with no one around.

The greenery, the open space, the plants, lack of people... It's clear what he's trying to do.

It's such a safe place to spill your thoughts and feelings... Not by entrapping you. Not by confronting you. Not by pressuring you. Trying his best to implicitly make you relax and take a literal breather in the nature and shade so you're calmer...

What did you do to deserve him?

"No one's around here. I'm not gonna force anything out of you, but you're really worrying me, geez! I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, I don't wanna press you either. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't want answers." He crossed his arms, avoiding looking at you, but his tone soft. His shoulders relax, and he's breathing in the nature too.

...and here you are worrying.

He doesn't deserve you. Someone like you...

At your own pace, you spill everything you had on your mind. Maybe you changed some words to worry him less. Maybe you tried to make light of it. But you did your best...

Your average, your nothing; you spilled it to him, even if it's bit by bit, hints or clues. You avoid looking at him, but you can tell it's not a good reaction. He's calm, but he gets more irritated with every self insult and deprecation that enters his ears. He waits for you to finish, but you can tell he's just being polite. He's itching, waiting to argue back...!

"So, you think all this... You're troubled cuz I'm apparently too perfect for you??" And of course he wasn't happy.

You didn't understand why, just that he was.

"That you're average?" He pointed to your chest and leaned in closer.

"Stupid moronic you...! Dumber than a fish!" He's just irritated as he threw some words at you. Maybe it hurt, but he means it, in the best way possible. You are a stupid, dumb, moron in his eyes.

Stupid for not realizing the fact: You're worthy of him

Dumb for believing: That you're an average slob and trash of a human being.

Moron for thinking: That your love was a mistake.

"Use your brain for a second! You think I'd date anyone less than my standards? It's also insulting to me that you think I'd date someone as ugly, worthless and stupid as you're describing! You seriously think I'd commit to a mistake? Me? The perfect Izumi Sena??" He ranted, a frustrated look in his face.

"I NEVER make mistakes. Even if you were one, I'd have figured it out by now, don't you think?! Quiz me this, moron! If I never make mistakes, if I never settle for anything less than perfect, if I always see everything at their best... Why am I dating you?"

He's grumpy. Mad.

"It's because you are perfect. You meet my standards. You're... Already your best. I never settle for less. You know, you claim to be confident in me, but doubting yourself is a bigger insult here. How dare you think I'd date whatever the hell you just described?! Are you insulting my tastes? Geez..."

He leaned back, sighing after that long rant and closing his eyes.

"...what can I say, to make you see... The one and only face that is unique to you. Even if it's blemished and tired, it's yours. It's one of a kind. Your work. Even if you wanna take breaks forever and sleep... You don't see the way you lean in and scratch your head over your work, making sure it's done and passable before you turn it in. What about the way you understand? The way you see me and called me sweet?" He whispered, trying to pour his heart out.

He's never done this. Being mean was his default and love language... But he knows that can't help you right now. For once, he'll break old habits and... Show you. He'll tell you everything, every day, every time he's realized and fell for you a whole trench deeper. What must he do? He'd pluck his eyeballs and give it to you, so you can look in the mirror and see the radiance he did.

Whatever you just described, it wasn't you. He's going to pull out all the stops and tactics. Realizing you've been so insecure.

"Hey." He firmly got up and called for you.

"From now on, send me a picture of yourself every morning. Every new outfit you change into. Every time you pass by the mirror. I want to see it all. Do this, cuz when you do, I'm going to tell you without fail, that you're still beautiful and the same goddamn partner I love." He's cringing. So hard.

This is so embarrassing. But he'd go through this. Anything for you.

"If I ever catch you insulting yourself again... I'll make sure you never say that ever again. Got it?"

He looks at you for a nod. Anything affirmative...

"Can't hear you! Got it!?"

Hearing him raise his voice, you nod vigorously, muttering small yes's and confirmations...

"Good. That's my partner..." He got his hand up and patted your head.

"Even models take years before they're confident in front of the camera. Until then, they brave through it till they believe it. So from now on, I'm gonna make sure... That you're damn worthy of that spotlight."

"I love you, you hear me? Average? Don't give me that. I don't settle for whatever you described. I settle for perfect, and I settled for you."

[khaleesiofalicante]

A little advice and rant (because for some reason writing things here makes me feel better and hopefully doesn't, in-turn makes your mood somber)

Do you have days when you feel unproductive? What do you do?

This feels embarrassing to admit but I used to be one of those kids who got full marks in school and like the first year in college and now I can feel all that slipping away. I constantly feel like my parents are always disappointed in me. If they call me out, I lash out at them. The fact that I'm writing this is idk humiliating me, but I can't just keep it inside me anymore. Now I feel like I was never smart, I was just really good at faking it and now I'm not? I'm tired of faking it... what scares me is how i have started excepting what I am. It just terrifies me sometimes seeing what I have become. I feel angry when I tell this to a friend and they tell me oh ur smart ul make it and I just wanna scream at them like NO CANT YOU SEE IT IM NOT.

I'm glad you can come talk to me about stuff. I've always liked being someone people can talk to.

I do have days that I feel unproductive, but what you're describing sounds like a phase (for the lack of a better word).

As someone who was also the straight-A student in school, I always felt like school was... easier. College is something that is genuinely difficult in terms of the content we learn, the way we learn, the way we are taught, and our peers too. So, firstly, don't be too hard on yourself if you're struggling in college because it's supposed to be a little difficult.

Secondly, college gets harder every year—quite literally. So I think comparing yourself to your grades (or the amount of energy you had) during your first year to now is unfair to you. We don't have infinite amounts of energy and fucks to give. We do have finite amounts of passion for sure. These things get drained slowly, especially as we grow up. So that's why it's so important to study/work on things we enjoy and are passionate about so it's a little easier for us.

As someone whose self-esteem is very much tied to their intelligence, I understand you deeply. I once had a panic attack (a bad one) in my college bathroom when I found out I got a B in a subject. I remember my mom laughing and being like, "That's it? You're so dramatic," when I felt like I was literally collapsing.

So, I get you. I understand the need to be smart. But what I have moved away from is trying to measure my smartness through my grades. Because guess what? Grades don't fucking matter when you leave school/uni. It's not how we judge ourselves or our abilities. Now once you leave school/uni. It is a ridiculous system, and we mustn't let it make us feel shit about ourselves.

Just because you are not getting the same grades you used to, it doesn't mean you're not smart anymore. You do realize you literally know more than you did 2 or 3 years ago? You know more than you did a month ago? You are literally getting smarter every day. Just because it's not reflected in your grades doesn't mean you're not smart.

The fact that your grades are slipping could be because of so many things. The exam marking styles could have changed, the teachers could've become stricter, the subject might be harder, or maybe you have more difficulty remembering details because you are older and your brain has more things to focus on now. It could be any number of things. These are all things you can work on and improve.

There are lots of ways you can do this. Consider using a new learning style. I was always someone who learned visually, and I experimented with auditory learning in uni and realized voices are actually easier to remember than visuals (especially when I got older and could focus better). You can learn with others. It's okay to think of yourself as smart, but don't ever think you're the smartest person in the room - that shit is bad for you. So if you're struggling, look at the people who are not. Ask them to help. It doesn't make you stupid or small. Asking for help is the smartest thing anyone who wants to survive can do.

These are all things you can do to "get better" and go back to those standards you have set for yourself.

But from my heart, I tell you, don't try to live up to the standards you set for yourself when you were in school. The way you judged yourself in school cannot be the same system you judge yourself as an adult. It's two completely different lives, and trying to live up to those standards will only make you feel shit about yourself.

For what it's worth, I don't think you were faking it before. People don't feel so guilty and bad about losing something they faked. If this is something you want to fix and get back to those old grades, then like I said, try new things and see what works and what doesn't. But if you don't want to try too hard, that's okay too. It's not something to be ashamed about. I think the standards we set for ourselves should be based on our current realities, not our past or our future.

I am sure you will figure this one out and will feel like yourself again. You are smart. I have faith in you. You got this.

PS - Not to condone violence, but it's impossible to feel smart when the people around you make you feel stupid, so I don't blame you for lashing out at your parents. If their lack of support is making things worse, you need to tell them. If they want you to be smart, then they better act like it too.

Love 💜

[yuri-is-online]

Could you share some of your ideas on improving the Twilight series?

There are a few ways that we can fix Twilight, but for now let's just focus on keeping its original premise: Bella moves to Forks, meets Edward, and is swept up into a word of supernatural happenings. I'm going to go through my issues one by one and then get to some overall points, this got stupidly long for no good reason I am so sorry.

I will note that I had to google some information about what happens in the first and fourth books because I did not watch those movies and I think I might have read the first book? But don't remember anything that happened in it.

Bella's Personality

Or lack of one is getting changed immediately. Stories are driven by the actions and desires of their characters and Bella is our MC. We need her to have reasons for making the choices she does beyond "she has to do this for the plot to progress."

Bella moves to Forks because she notices that her mother seems unhappy staying at home with her and not on the road with her new husband. From this we can assign Bella as being self-sacrificing, maybe to the point of self-sabotaging. She also is very self-reliant; she doesn't think she needs help from other people, especially not those who have a degree of authority over her because she assumes their help comes from them assuming she cannot take care of herself (and maaaaybe think that she's a burden) and not from a place of love.

When Jacob expresses a dislike of Sam, Bella supports him and validates his feelings. She is extremely upset and confused when he has suddenly changed his tune later and goes to confront Sam about it. In the movie this comes off as manipulative, as it seems like Bella is only really upset that Jacob isn't 100% focused on her anymore. I hate this! It makes the story much better if Bella goes to confront Sam because she is protective of her loved ones. Edward says he is afraid of not being able to protect her several times and she always responds with "then I'll protect you!" She should mean that! Let her be the over protective friend who will throw hands!!!

The one thing I do remember about the first book is an off hand remark about how "special and not like other girls" Bella was because she had already read Jane Austen for fun and that made her only able to relate to old people (something I had just gotten done doing which was probably why I stopped reading the book because middle school Yuri felt very insecure) and she also seems to like Shakespeare. But the books never seem to do anything with that, and it was pretty much the law in the early 2000s that your YA heroine needed to be into classic lit so it is a sort of basic trait. But it is still a trait, so Bella likes classic lit.

One of the things people unironically like about Twilight is how Stephanie Myer portrayed depression. Bella seems to be struggling from some pretty severe issues with her self-esteem and self-worth. She wants to be a vampire because she thinks it will fix her issues with herself; she's afraid of growing old and not being desirable to her partner which is sadly a very common fear people have so it makes her relatable which is good for the protag of a novel... but

If you are going to cover topics like self-loathing and depression we need to have a think about how to handle those topics responsibly which I don't think the og Twilight series does... for now let's just keep in mind that depression and self esteem are themes we should keep for Bella's personal character arc.

The Parents

Bella refers to both of her parents by their first names, unless she's talking to them. As someone who does this with her mother... that's not really something you do overnight or if you have an actual relationship with your parent. You can actually physically feel the gap between you, and it kind of sucks sometimes. It also explains a lot of those character traits listed above

Bella's mom sucks ass and I was surprised to find that's not as controversial of an opinion as I thought it would be. She is more invested in her relationship with her new husband than she is her daughter, Bella apparently was the primary cook, Bella keeps secrets from her mom because her mom's mental and emotional well being is extremely reliant on her, and to top it all off apparently she told Bella a bunch of intimate details about how she left her dad which IS NOT SOMETHING YOU SHOULD DO OH MY GOD. It isn't healthy for a kid to know the intimate details about the break down of their parent's marriage!!! Especially if it was messy!!! That's so damaging for a kid, it's a form of parentification where the child is forced to emotionally parent the person who is supposed to be doing the actual parenting. Charlie is a character no one seems to have any major complaints about, and that includes me: I think keeping him more or less the same works. He deeply loves his daughter and wants to have that personal relationship with her he never got to have while she was primarily living with her mother. His reactions to the things that happen in the series are completely normal and he shows the appropriate level of concern when Bella enters her depressive state after Edward breaks up with her.

The main thing I would change about how the parents are portrayed has to do with the break up between Edward and Bella in book 2. I think it was mentioned that Bella did not want to go to therapy... but given the circumstances: major depressive episode, night terrors, potentially abusive relationship, all after a major life change (the move to Forks) it would make sense to me for Bella and Charlie to go to a family therapist together before Bella goes to individual sessions. The breakdown of her parent's marriage, her mom's parentification of her, and her lack of real relationship with either parent is something I would want to see addressed and it's realistic for family therapy to be suggested with all those factors I mentioned. Bella doesn't need to have a fully mended relationship with her dad by the end of the series, but it would make the story a lot better if by connecting with him through family therapy she decides to trust him enough to tell him about Edward being a vampire and Jacob being a werewolf.

The Cullens

I have watched one episode of Vampire Diaries, so the concept of a why a bunch of vampire's would want to go back to highschool isn't too much of a concern for me.  Using it as a way to re-learn what society is like makes sense… but that needs to be the stated reason and not vaguely implied.  It also makes more sense to me if Rosalie and Emmet don't attend the highschool and instead pretend to be college students who live with Emmet's parents.  Japser, Alice, and Edward are enough to work with, adding more characters to do nothing with doesn't actually help the flow of the story. And oh god does a lot of nothing happen in the actual series.

The overall concept for their characters doesn't bother me too too much.  They're vampires who abstain from human blood and are empowered by not succumbing to their thirst, that's a pretty basic plot line and more importantly it gives us a conflict to work with.  Everyone thinks the sparkles are dumb, so instead let's just go with the Dracula thing where they can't use their powers during the day.  Since the Cullens are supposed to be stronger due to their lack of preying on humans, maybe they can use their powers but not as effectively? Alice still gets visions for example, but Edward has trouble telling whose thoughts are whose, Jasper can't always get a frim grip on people's emotions, Emmet isn't as strong, and Rosalie sort of just looks tired as opposed to beautiful. 

The Volturi

They are the oldest vampire coven and potentially the largest. Again don't have much of a problem with this or wouldn't rather if they had some fucking character. I had to google Aro's name. He's one of their leaders and the only one who I felt was actually acting in the whole movie and I had to google his goddamn name. Also I am only going to mention this once and I am only going to talk about it here but:

Stephanie Myer is a Mormon and as a result her world building is very Mormon. Did you know Aro has a wife? I didn't, but pretty much every major character in the series is married and lives with their "children" and their children's spouses. Which is a fine way to live if you aren't weird about it but I don't trust these people aren't.

Anyway all of this section is to stay that they Volturi can more or less stay the same as they are already, but the rules they've established for vampire kind need to be introduced to the reader (and their existence) almost immediately instead of in book 2.

The Werewolves

The biggest thing I would change about the werewolves is the bit about them being "awakened" by the presence of vampires.  I think it makes more sense if the wolves just awaken when they feel a strong need to protect their family period, the presence of vampires just makes the process speed up a whole lot because of the tribe's history.  I also think it makes sense for the Pack to be viewed as sort of protectors of the land and the people from supernatural threats by humans who are aware, and for this to be sort of emphasized with Charlie's relationship with Jacob's dad and grandfather. 

I mentioned that I would have Bella and Charlie connect after going to family therapy, but now that I think about it, I would also have Charlie know about the werewolf pack before Bella tells him.  He leaves the supernatural policing to them and focuses on the human crimes, that way he's able to focus his resources and protect his people better.  Maybe he comes to Bella first and admits he's been lying to her and lays out what he knows and that's what gets her to open up about Edward being a vampire.

Misc.

From what I have managed to piece together, the main "plot" of twilight is that Bella and Edward meet, they stare into each other's eyes a whole bunch and realize one has good smelling blood and the other is a vampire. Edward introduces Bella to his coven and some other vampires show up??? And want to eat Bella??? And then they run away and oh no. The evil vampires have found them again and try to eat Bella and then Edward kills him but leaves his wife alive so the rest of the books are just a girlboss trying to get revenge on Edward by killing his partner. Until the last book when the Volturi show up angry because Bella isn't a vampire yet and has given birth to a half vampire and while I am on that last point: no half vampire baby, we are throwing out that whole ass plot point. I think people sometimes go overboard in assuming Mormon creators make everything about their fiction Mormon but there is nothing more fundamentalist than immediately getting married and having kids at 18. It doesn't need to happen, we can just re-write that whole book. Ok? Ok.

This is probably where most of the variations in how to fix the series come in tbh. Is it just a romance series? Do you want supernatural adventures? What are the stakes? Do we address the abusive undertones to Bella and Edward's relationship and make it a plot point or do we try to fix Edward? The original series doesn't have much going on in it... except for one thing which I want to bring up now.  If you like the idea of Twilight (vampire romance set in a small town where supernatural stuff happens) I would highly recommend playing the Wayhaven Chronicles by Misha Jenkins.  Because she also has a protagonist with special blood that is enticing to vampires and blocks their powers… but in her interactive fiction series she explains it as being a natural mutation humans have evolved to protect themselves from supernaturals.  Their blood also empowers all supernaturals, not just vampires.  Both of these ideas are ones I like, but since the only creatures we are working with in Twilight are Vamps and Werewolves, let's keep Bella's blood to only effecting vampires.

For my part, the more I have thought about Edward's character, he doesn't seem like he's mature enough to be in a relationship. He clearly has some unaddressed traumas about his vampirism that are getting in the way of him making friends let alone a girlfriend, so for my "fixed" series he isn't Bella's endgame.

Anyway here are some more specific bullet points idk:

Book 1

James the tracker gets introduced before the actual vampire reveal happens.  He tracks and attacks Bella, Edward protects her, and they start hanging out more based off of a mutual attraction fueled by Bella's desire to be needed and Edward's desire to preserve what he perceives to be as a pure human soul.

Alice becomes Bella's first real good friend and encourages her to explore things that interest her.  Bella starts taking care of her appearance a bit more, not in a "oh good she wears make up now" way but in a way where she buys clothes because she likes them and not because her mom would approve of them and remembers to brush her hair.

Jacob is introduced and Bella thinks of him as friend, it's clear she sees him as still a kid and doesn't take him seriously.  This bothers him, but we don't find out why in this book.

Edward tells Bella that James isn't something she should worry about any more, but that is a lie.  He has been attempting to protect Bella on his own, with some help from Emmet and Rosalie on occasion, but he feels a personal responsibility to keep James away from Alice and Bella. (Alice apparently was turned by James or something? Anyway this should be a bonding point for Alice and Bella)

He still breaks in to watch her sleep and all that shit and Bella rationalizes this, even claiming to be flattered as all she's ever really wanted is to be cared about and this feels like someone cares.

But then she gets a call from James threatening her mother and because Bella sees herself as her mom's protector she runs straight into that trap.

Blah blah blah Edward has to drain poison from Bella, they officially start dating.

Book 2

Bella's birthday.  She doesn't like being the center of attention or birthdays in general and no one really seems to get this.  Her dad asks if she wants a cake or something and promises not to buy candles, and since Bella likes cake she agrees if he promises not to sing.

Her friends at school wish her happy birthday except for Jacob who gives her his present "just because."  It's clear to Edward that Jacob is someone she cares about and this makes him jealous because he cannot stand seeing her interact happily with someone else.

Alice has planned a birthday party for Bella and is extremely excited to officially introduce her to the rest of the family, even though she has already met them, since she knows how much Edward likes Bella and she's rooting for him.

Blah blah blah, cut happens, Jasper freaks, Carslie talks a bit with Bella, and then oof

Edward dumps Bella in the middle of the woods the next day and she doesn't take it well. Speaking of which this pissed me off so fucking much "oh uwu I can't be with u because I am worried about how fragile u are and I'll huuuurt you" *proceeds to break up with her in the middle of the fucking woods where she can easily get lost and die*

Depressive episode like normal

Bella realizes she can still see Edward if she is about to do something dangerous and still goes to find those motorbikes and take them to Jacob.

Bella's human friends don't really get as much of a focus even though they are there, so I'd like to bring them back here for a moment.  Maybe the pink one encourages Bella to go see a therapist after Bella brushes off her dad's suggestion because she's been thinking about the risk seeking behavior and is worried she encouraged it.  She also admits to seeing a therapist herself and this surprises Bella, who decides maybe it couldn't really hurt.

As Bella talks with Jacob she says something about him being a kid and he gets offended by this, heavily hinting at maybe him liking her

But, as opposed to Edward who always brushed off Bella's offer of protection, when talking about Sam Jacob reacts positively to Bella's offer of help and makes the same promise. "You watch my back I'll watch yours."

Cliff diving scene stays but like it's not done on a whim, Bella gets a group together of kids from the highschool maybe? No weird movie date scene because that was cringe.

Anyway Edward thinks she dies, Alice comes for a visit, werewolf Jake freaks but trusts Bella when she says she will be fine and says he trusts her.

The book ends with Bella bargaining for the Cullen's freedom from the Volturi by agreeing to become a vampire, initially she offers to allow Aro or whatever the fuck to turn her but Alice intervenes and offers to do it herself. They set a date for after her graduation, and are warned of grave consequences if they do not comply.

Edward and Bella do not get back together at the end of the book.

Book 3

Bella and Alice are back to being besties.  While Bella is not back together with Edward, but she is not dating Jacob either.  She is attempting to maintain a friendship with both but it's not really working, as Jacob can tell she's keeping some sort of secret from him.

This secret being her impending turning, and the general theme of people trying to convince her that she doesn't need to do this remains.

There is a real focus on the lack of choice most of the Cullens had with becoming vampires and how that has affected them, with a heavy emphasis placed on Edward. 

Edward and Carlisle have a long talk. Carlisle talks about the concept of soulmates and how he always hoped Edward would find his, but admits he maybe placed too much of an emphasis on that instead of actually addressing the problems he was having in the hopes that love would fix him.

Since this is my post, I think Aro should be a sort of character foil to Edward. Ed doesn't want Bella to become a vampire even though she would (allegedly) make a very powerful one, while Aro should be obsessed with making Bella into a vampire because of her blood. I would also make it so that Aro's "wife" was once like Bella, with the same good smelling blood, and directly contrast Aro's sense of ownership over her with how Edward had been thinking about Bella.

This terrifies Edward who also has a deep talk with Bella and apologizes, and while Bella accepts it they still don't get back together because-

Bella always had more chemistry with Jacob anyway. They share interests and hobbies, they like talking with each other, Jake is someone she is good friends with and someone she really is going to miss when she dies and becomes a vampire.

Idc let the plot with the newborn army remain, but like make the talk about imprinting actually mean something. Maybe Jacob has already imprinted on Bella but he's keeping that shit to himself because he doesn't want to pressure her.

Maybe it all comes out while he's wounded and Bella finally tells him about what she has agreed to do.

And then the book ends with them both agreeing they don't want that to happen

There's a book 4?

So I have no idea what goes on in the end of the Twilight series.

There's a war?

But not actually because it was just a vision Alice had?

Um I think there is potential for some sort of actual battle between the Volturi, other vampire covens, and the werewolves.

Apparently according to the wiki Aro's wife is locked in a tower somewhere in a trance because he killed her sister? And she was upset about that?

Uhhhh maybe they decide to use that to spark some in fighting between the Volturi

Jacob and Bella can get married at the sensible age of like 25 in the epilogue

And Edward gets with someone else idk. Maybe one of the newborns from Vicky's army who he goes on a healing journey with.

meh that's what I've got. I still like the idea of Bella being into catching beetles and moths and that's why she's ok with being in the woods a whole lot but that's not super important.

I think it should sort of low key freak both Edward and Jacob out. But that's just my opinion~

[lewispatricia628]

When Should You Consider a Dyslexia Test for Your Teenager?

Dyslexia, a learning difficulty that affects reading, writing, and language processing, is often diagnosed in early childhood. However, many teenagers continue to struggle with undiagnosed dyslexia, especially when their symptoms are mild or they’ve developed coping mechanisms that mask their challenges. Identifying dyslexia in adolescence is crucial to ensure that students receive the right support for academic success and personal development. But when is the right time to consider a dyslexia test for your teenager?

In this article, we'll explore common signs of dyslexia in teenagers, why testing is essential, and how incorporating strategies like music for dyslexia can help.

1. Struggling with Reading and Writing

One of the most prominent signs that a dyslexia test for teenager might be necessary is persistent difficulty with reading and writing. Teenagers with dyslexia often struggle with reading fluency, comprehension, spelling, and written expression, even though they may have strong verbal communication skills. If your teenager reads below grade level or has difficulty organizing their thoughts in writing, a dyslexia assessment can help pinpoint the underlying issue.

It's important to remember that dyslexia affects each student differently. Some teenagers might read slowly but accurately, while others may read fluently but struggle to understand or remember what they’ve read. Identifying these challenges through a dyslexia test can open doors to specialized interventions tailored to their needs.

2. Low Academic Confidence

Teenagers with dyslexia often experience a significant dip in academic confidence. They may feel frustrated, embarrassed, or defeated when their performance doesn’t match their effort. If your teenager is hesitant to participate in reading or writing activities, avoids homework, or expresses negative feelings about school, these can be red flags. Testing for dyslexia can give you and your teen clarity about the root cause of their academic struggles and help them regain confidence with the right support.

3. Difficulty with Focus and Organization

Many students with dyslexia also struggle with focus, organization, and time management. They may have trouble following multi-step directions, organizing their work, or keeping up with deadlines. While these issues are common in adolescence, when paired with ongoing language-based challenges, they can indicate dyslexia. If your teenager is consistently losing focus during reading or writing tasks or seems overwhelmed by school assignments, a dyslexia assessment might be warranted.

4. Resistance to Reading and Writing

Teenagers with undiagnosed dyslexia may develop a strong resistance to reading and writing, often because these tasks have become sources of frustration. They may avoid reading aloud, refuse to write essays, or procrastinate on projects involving a lot of written work. This avoidance can be a key indicator that something more than a lack of interest in schoolwork is at play.

Addressing these challenges early on can help prevent long-term academic and emotional effects. A dyslexia test for teenager can provide insight into your teen’s learning profile, offering a pathway to targeted support that helps them excel.

5. Emotional and Social Struggles

Undiagnosed dyslexia can lead to emotional and social difficulties for teenagers. If your teen frequently feels anxious, stressed, or frustrated by schoolwork, or if they withdraw socially due to feelings of inadequacy, it may be time to explore testing. Dyslexia can impact self-esteem, especially if your teenager feels different from their peers. Identifying dyslexia can help your teen access accommodations and specialized learning strategies, allowing them to thrive both academically and socially.

How Music Can Help Dyslexic Students

In addition to testing and academic support, incorporating music for dyslexia can be an effective intervention. Research has shown that music can improve phonological awareness, memory, and cognitive processing in students with dyslexia. Learning to play an instrument or engaging with rhythmic exercises can help dyslexic students develop the auditory processing skills necessary for reading and language development. Music is not just a creative outlet but a powerful tool for enhancing brain function in ways that directly impact literacy skills.

Conclusion

If your teenager is struggling with reading, writing, focus, or emotional well-being, it’s essential to consider a dyslexia test for teenager. Early identification of dyslexia allows you to implement targeted interventions that can dramatically improve your teen’s academic and social experience. Additionally, combining traditional dyslexia support with creative strategies, such as music for dyslexia, can help students build essential skills while boosting their confidence and engagement in learning.

[brooxk]

My Solar return chart throughout 2023

Just a first time try out.

Placement observations and their predictions.

Sun, Mercury, North node, Jupiter and Chiron in 10th house.

Since it's the sun, the 10th house causes a big focus on the theme of career and reputation this year for me. I'm finishing 9th grade so its time to think about what I want become and choose the right path for myself that will hell me in the future. North node has a similar meaning too and it's conjunct my sun.

I can't say much about Mercury in 10th, but it might have to do something with the things I say and that they can easily become public. Possibly should think more about what I say, so think before you speak. Since it's in retrograde it can cause some delays and struggles surrounding it. It would be easier to communicate with authorities with the mercury in 10th house. I've been trying to be more communicating as well.

Jupiter in 10th house will cause success in the area of career. It might be easier to get into a school if enough hard work is done (That might include my pluto in 6th house). Jupiter also rules expansion so I'm excited about this placement.

Now Chiron in 10th house. I'm not sure what to except with this placement. It's conjunct my Jupiter so maybe the chiron might be what triggers the Jupiter. Keep in mind this is just a wild guess. This placement might cause some wounds in my reputation and career. There will be things I need to work on relating to that area

Leo AC

This is probably one of my favorite placement of this year. It brings me more confidence and boosts my self esteem. It makes me more social as well and brings creativeness. Possibly more public attention. Since the chart ruler is the in the 10th house then it backs it up.

Saturn in 8th house and Pluto in 6th house

Now these 2 placements i'm scared of this year. Not necessarily scared, it's just unpredictable. Since the 6th house rules health and routine there might be some drastic changes. That could be better or for worse. But from what I'm experiencing it's siding with the worst 🤨 Saturn 8th house doesn't sound that bad to me. Yes it's saturn and it brings some hardship that takes time. But the end result will be satisfying and you might as well gain something that's crucial to your life. ( Can't underestimate Saturn though) It could bring some mental health issues as well. Pluto in 6th house is pretty accurate for this year since I have upcoming exams which means stress.

Uranus and Venus in 11th house.

Beginning or leaving a friend group, meeting new people, spending more time with friends. With the Uranus in 11th house causing unexpected changes. Uranus rules technology as well, and I got a new phone recently. The devices in my house have been slower than usual too. With the Venus in 11th house it's even possible to get friend zoned. I've been wanting to spend more time with my friends too.

Moon and Mars In 12th house.

Hate and love relationship with this moon placement. During these times I've had it, I was spending lots of time alone and I mean lots. I also started journaling and meditating everyday during these times. (This talks more about 2022), I had a pisces stellium in the 12th house and many 1st house placements. I didn't like talking to many people, kept to myself. Also wanted to be alone but at the same time I hated it. Moon in the 12th house gives u alone time, but that helps you get to know yourself more.

Don't really have much to say about Mars in 12th house, for me it's related to hidden enemies and supressing my anger. Had it last year too.

Neptune 9th house

Might cause some confusion in beliefs and idolizing them? Since 9th house rules education. Might be harder to focus on studies this year causing confusion about it, having a hard time to decide what to study in the future?

That's all I have.

[nothingmatters-everythingmatters]

Hi! Sorry if this is rambly as I'm in the middle of brain fog. I just wanted to say,I really like your blog! Even though I follow it,it won't show up on my dash (60 % of radfem blogs don't) so I just pick random days to come visit,like it was a favorite shop. And it feels like coming home. This place made through your words feels truly comforting.

You might say you are rambling but I personally love long,complex explanations. It doesn't read like you are repeating things,but like you are covering the shades of grey too,instead of only the broad strokes.

Also,I have had a gender identity and identified as male for a couple of years. Many otherwise good radfem posts focus too much on shaming "gendies" and reiterating how delusional/abnormal/jobless sad freaks they are. So it all makes me feel like I'm in high school again,getting bullied by the popular neurotypical squad. To be honest,the tumblr "queers" of today are more similar to me,as a weird,socially inept,bisexual woman who cares more about ideas than actual physical reality. However,they threw women's rights under the bus. They started encouraging 4chan incel-like levels of misogyny,and cult-like levels of obedience. So I lost any desire to belong there or to ever interact positively with them.

I fully agree with,and admire many radfem bloggers,as they really know their shit and have the courage to stick to their beliefs. But I feel that even that side is sometimes guilty of misogyny and especially ableism. And I have seen textbook narcissistic bullies being hailed as defenders of human rights even there.

So thank you for making a blog and building this in-between space here. It is very necessary to understand the opposing side are humans too,and your kindness and ability to see multiple points of view really shines through. This is very hard to do in 2024. I personally am completely out of empathy and have become a very intolerant and bitter person. So it's kind of amazing to still be able to encounter more reasonable and calm points of view online,like this.

Still,if it gets too tiring and exhausting(because it does!) you have full permission to change and go as cold and uncaring as you want,at any time! (I feel every woman needs to be told this)

🌼🌞❤️‍🩹

wow, first of all, thank you for such a lovely message !! my instinct is to make a self-deprecating joke about how this is definitely going to fuel my ego but I have actually been trying to build my self-esteem up lately, so maybe I will let it get to my head this time lmao

I definitely see where you're coming from, I find that radfems (and I have to admit, I myself am guilty of thinking like this too) find some kind of catharsis in ripping into adherents of gender ideology, whether it's out of anger, a sense of justice, or satisfaction in just pointing out how wrong someone else is. I think it's just a sort of natural behavior with political/ideological spaces, think atheists dunking on christians, leftists dunking on the right, or conservatives dunking on liberals. "dunking" culture and solidifying your own beliefs by making fun of an opposing view is just something I feel has to be expected online at this point, even though I feel like it's the most unproductive aspect of online ideological communities, especially when I otherwise agree with their beliefs.

that being said, I really can't fault people, especially individuals within smaller, niche ideological communities such as radblr, from seeking outlets for their frustration and bonding through a common enemy. ironically, I find it way easier to understand this behavior on tumblr communities because blogs feel much more like a reflection of an individual, and I can at least understand when an individual makes mistakes or lashes out negatively, but that might just be my bias towards blog culture in general.

overall though, I definitely find that it helps to look at a variety of blogs for a diversity of opinions within the community (I swear my following list gets longer and longer every day) and find the places that do curate a space you can feel comfortable in. I am honored that you might find my blog as that kind of avenue, and I'm certain there are just as many more blogs on this platform and beyond (perhaps with better writing lol) that accomplish a similar goal of fostering empathy. in fact, I know those blogs are out there because I hope one day my writing will be even a fraction as good as some of them !! I also hope one day tumblr fixes their algorithm (they won't but I will stay hopeful in slight delusion) and I can find more awesome radfem blogs without having to scroll through the oft spammed tags...

whew this response turned out way longer than I though lmao (and as always I have thought of even more words to say sigh) but once again thank you for the ask, I wish the absolute best for you !!

[femmefatalevibe]

hello! I love your blog and read your posts religiously. Your mature, compassionate and rational responses are always very encouraging and uplifting, and I wonder if you have any older sister advice, to a problem I face too often for my liking.

I really hate how many unwarranted, negative or passive-aggressive comments or digs I keep receiving from many of my coursemates; I routinely hear stuff like “your hair is soo fried”, “i didn’t know you were smart”, or “you’re rich and out of touch”, and it’s quite hurtful and totally untrue. I’m a very social person, and I take care of my appearance, so people like to stereotype me as pretty with no brains, even if i’m one of the best students in our course. I’m also as middle class as it gets, so pegging me as a delusional rich kid because I own a few nice things, is a big generalization. While I understand that a pretty girl who doesn’t speak poorly of herself might attract some attention, I always strive to be kind and uplifting, especially to the girls in my course. So to receive most of the mean comments from them, when we have no beef going on, is upsetting. I take pride in my academic achievements and the work I put in myself, so petty remarks don’t destroy my confidence, but it’s definitely painful! I talked about it with my therapist, and she suggested that it likely has more to do with them than it does with me; something along the lines of jealousy, or misplaced projection.

I also recently moved from another country, and have difficulty making friends, as the people here are typically northern, and very closed off and introverted (compared to loud and colorful Italians). So while in regular conditions I’d brush this off, now it just contributes to the overall feeling of rejection.

If you have made it this far, and have any advice on how to deal with unnecessarily mean behavior, without losing your spark, I’d greatly appreciate it! Thank you, and have a great day!! 🩷

Hi love! Thank you for your kind words and support. Means so much to me that this blog is a great resource for you <3

It sounds like you're doing great during your schooling years! Moving to a new country and switching schools (especially when you know no one) are difficult transitions. You seem to have a lot of resilience and a great work ethic & self-esteem. I agree with your therapist on this one – it's a them problem, not a you problem. Teenage girls can be cruel because we're all insecure and unsure about our decisions/how they will affect our life trajectories on some level (source: a former teenage girl).

Always remember: Other people's projections are a reflection of their personal circumstances combined with a lack of self-awareness and introspection.

The best approach to this situation, in my opinion, is to focus on your goals, how to make yourself feel happy & content with yourself (working towards your academic goals, indulging in your hobbies, prioritizing your health, self-care, etc.), and finding activities/clubs/interest groups where you can meet like-minded people. The more you like yourself, the more others will respect you, which either leaves you comfortable with yourself or comfortable with yourself alongside supporters of your success.

With that being said, learn their social norms, and study how they interact/their communication style. Mastering the art of communicating your uniqueness in a way that's culturally palatable can make a world of difference when it comes to integrating socially in a new community or country.

Focus on the aspects of your life that are in your control. Learn to let the rest go. A support system, especially during your school years, can come in many forms – from mentors, online social support, and activities outside of your academic chambers.

Hope this helps xx

[alabasterandpitch]

Part 1

I was reading this passage the other day and I was kind of shocked how hard it hit me.

Part of the reason I made/reactivated this blog was to help me reflect and get in touch with the more emotional and/or sexual sides of myself that I had been neglecting, if not outright unhealthily repressing, for years now.

These past couple months I've really been trying to focus hard on turning inward and asking the hard questions to work on my own issues. In a way, I guess that's what I'd always told myself I'd been doing in grad school for years now. Focus on yourself, get ahead, advance your career, etc. But I think somewhere along the line I kind of bought into my own bullshit and believed that I actually was working on myself, when really I was just throwing myself into my work/career/vocation to avoid dealing with the parts of myself that I truly couldn't deal with facing.

Coming to that realization myself was a big part of what's set me down the rabbit hole of self-examination and inspired me to start taking a more active role in my own mental health, and working on expressing myself more emotionally and sexually.

Something I've talked about a fair bit in therapy is intelligence, and how much I lean on that part of myself to prop up my other insecurities. To be blunt, I have a hard time seeing myself in a positive light most of the time. Most aspects of myself don't generally struck me as particularly remarkable or desirable, but there are a few exceptions.

Apart from my luscious locks, one of the few things about myself that I actually appreciate is my intelligence. I tend to think of myself as a smart person. No fuck that, I'm a very smart man. Maybe I'm naturally gifted, maybe I'm not, irrelevant. I'm smart because I value intelligence and learning and I've continuously worked my ass off my whole life to improve those qualities in myself. I'm owning it now.

And even though it's taken me so long to be able to confidently say that outright, I've always leaned on my intelligence and analytical mind to make up for my deficiencies in other areas, like social interaction, or emotional expression, even when I wasn't fully conscious of doing so.

At some point I think I kind of clued in to the weird process of intellectualizing that I was doing, and eventually sort of leaned into it for the sake of my own self-esteem. Like, 'yeah you might be an awkward fuck and have no intuitive sense of social cues or norms or how to emotionally connect with another human, but you're hella smart so use that analytical mind and razor intellect figure it out dumbshit'

Even though I eventually clued in to how much I was leaning on my own intelligence, focusing on that as a point of positive self-esteem, I don't think I ever fully appreciated how much I suppressed other parts of myself, parts of my social and emotional and sexual sides, or the consequences that it's had on my own mental health and development as a person.

I'm clearly having a lot of thoughts about this that I'm still in the middle of processing, so maybe I'll continue this another time in a follow-up post

[anubhavcontententhusiast97]

7 Ways to Build Your Child's Math Confidence

In our daily lives, mathematics is a topic that is absolutely necessary. Numerous other areas, like as physics, engineering, and finance, are built upon it. However, a lot of kids have difficulty with maths and have low self-esteem. There are numerous things you as a parent can do to support the development of your child's maths confidence. In this post, we'll look at seven strategies for boosting your kid's maths prowess and boosting their self-assurance.

Make math fun

Making maths enjoyable for your child is one of the best methods to increase their confidence in maths. Make maths games and activities a regular part of your child's day. There are a lot of online elementary school-level math programs available that include interesting games and activities that will make learning arithmetic fundamentals fun for your child.

Encourage problem-solving

Encourage your youngster to use critical thinking and autonomous problem-solving skills. Give your youngster the chance to practise problem-solving techniques in authentic settings. This can apply to chores like adding up cash or measuring components for a meal.

Focus on the basics

Ensure that your child has a solid understanding of the basics of math, such as addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division. Without a strong foundation, it can be challenging for children to understand more complex math concepts.

Use real-life examples

Use real-life examples to help your child understand math concepts. For example, when shopping, ask your child to calculate the total cost of items or calculate the change they should receive.

Practice regularly

Regular practice is essential for building math skills and confidence. Encourage your child to practice math regularly, even for just a few minutes each day. Online math programs for elementary students can provide a structured and engaging way for your child to practice math skills regularly.

Praise effort, not just results

Encourage your youngster to think more about effort and growth than merely the outcomes. Even if your child doesn't get the answer correctly, you should still compliment them on their effort and growth. This might boost your child's self-esteem and motivate them to keep studying.

Seek help when needed

Never be afraid to ask for assistance if your youngster is having maths problems. Speak with your kid's instructor or think about getting elementary math tutor. For elementary school pupils, there are several online math programmes that provide individualised coaching and assistance to help your child develop their mathematical abilities and confidence.

Make math a part of everyday conversations

Encourage your youngster to discuss mathematics and its relevance to daily life. Discuss the applications of maths in many fields and professions, including engineering, finance, and technology. This can assist your youngster in understanding the value of maths and how it can be used in practical circumstances.

Set achievable goals

For your youngster to develop motivation and confidence, set realistic goals. As your youngster improves, progressively raise the challenge by starting with smaller, more doable goals. Celebrate your child's accomplishments along the road and motivate them to continue striving for their objectives. This might give your youngster a sense of success and boost their self-assurance in their mathematical skills.

Final Thoughts

In conclusion, building your child's math confidence is essential for their success in school and beyond. By making math fun, encouraging problem-solving, focusing on the basics, using real-life examples, practising regularly, praising effort, and seeking help when needed, you can help your child develop strong math skills and the confidence to tackle even the most challenging math problems.

Online math programs for elementary students can be a valuable resource in building math skills and confidence, providing engaging games and activities, personalized support, and regular practice opportunities. With these strategies, you can help your child become a confident and capable math learner.

Source: Live Positively

[ausetkmt]

Everyone would love to know all of the deepest aspects of their personality to know exactly how and where they fit in the world. Every day, someone is coming up with a new tool, test or quiz to gain insight into who we are.

One such personality test is the Blob Tree Test, a psycho emotional test developed by the famous British psychologist, Pip Wilson.

What is the Blob Tree Test?

Wilson, an expert in emotional intelligence and experiential learning, created the test to help children, young people, and adults become aware of their feelings and emotions to find what kind of person they are.

The intent of the Blob Tree Test is to help people to maximize their own potential and achieve balance in life.

TikToker Moses "SloowMoee" Cox explains how the test is performed:

RELATED: People Who Can Find The 'T' In This Brain Puzzle Test Within 10 Seconds Are Gifted

Cox starts by putting up a picture of several blob figures sitting, laying, or dangling from or around a tree. Each has a number ranging from 1-21 on its chest.

The tree represents a familiar place or setting such as school, your place of business, your family, or a group of friends. The blobs, on the other hand, are representative of various emotions and feelings.

Viewers are instructed to pick two numbers: one that they like, and another that they are not so fond of.

Keep the numbers of each blob person selected top of mind. Now it’s time to determine what the numbers you chose mean.

What do your results mean?

Cox explains the results quickly, so you might need to pause the video to take it all in. Or, take a look at the image below. Then, scroll to find out what your results determine.

Photo: YouTube/Bright Mind

RELATED: Try This Simple Test With Your Fingers When You Can't Decide 'Yes Or No'

Really, you are picking the figures that you identify with, and the ones you would like to become in the future. So, though Cox breaks it down to liking or disliking a figure, the blobs simply are indicative of parts of ourselves we would like to improve on versus our ideal state.

According to Cox, numbers 1, 3, 6, or 7 mean you are extremely determined.

Numbers 2, 11, 12, 18, and 19 tell you that you are the go-to person in your family and that you truly value the people you love.

Picking number 4 is a testament to how hard you are willing to work. You are not deterred by people who are smarter than you.

Choosing number 5 doesn’t bode well. It indicates that “you may be tired often,” according to Cox. He attributes the fatigue to possible health or emotional issues.

People who pick 13 or 21 tend to keep to themselves and are considered the "loner" of the groups they are in. They are afraid of being around others.

Number 8s are dreamers and have an active imagination. They are creative and always come up with new ideas that everyone can get excited about.

People who picked 10 or 15 don’t need much to be content. They are happy with what they have and find value in simple things.

Number 14s, according to Cox, are “depressed” and “emotionally drained.” The image he shares suggests they need to find support in the people around them.

Selecting 20 means that you are a natural-born leader with high self-esteem. People listen to you, but Cox warns against the tendency to keep them at arm’s length.

Number 16 tells you that you are provided one sided support, while 17s are the ones who want to be spoiled.

Lastly, number 19s are generally happy people with a positive outlook on life. They tend to focus on the good and let go of negativity.

Related Stories From YourTango:

RELATED: Only 1% Of People On The Planet Can Pass This Vision Test

What is the Blob Tree?

What is the significance of the blobs, you might ask? It’s fairly simple and goes back to our first method of understanding the world: body language.

The blob people are non-distinct, with no gender, age, race or ethnicity. Because of that, everyone can identify with what their positions are saying without considering any other biases.

The blobs symbolize deep emotions without using a single word. They are not right or wrong; rather, they are feelings left to the interpretation of whoever is perceiving them.

The emotions that come up will be different from person to person, and rightfully so. They are meant to bring forth discussion, allowing us insight into one another.

Depending on who you talk to, you will find varying interpretations of the body language exhibited by the blobs. And that’s exactly what the point is.

RELATED: The Quick Mental Test That Separates Intellectuals From Average Thinkers

More for You:

NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and author of seven books. She covers lifestyle and entertainment and news, as well as navigating the workplace and social issues

[odmpublicschool]

How to Encourage a Positive Attitude in Students?

Negative thinking is a massive barrier. It limits your potential, prevents you from making progress, and halts your forward momentum in life, whether you're seeking knowledge, personal development, or happiness. Parents have a significant impact on their school-aged children's development, whether they are homeschooled or enrolled in the top school in Odisha. Thus, parents of K-12 students can witness firsthand the remarkable changes that take place when their children learn to value themselves and maintain an optimistic outlook.

Present Yourself as an Example

What better method to encourage optimism than to create an upbeat atmosphere? Post numerous quotes that are examples of optimistic attitudes as you establish a homeschool classroom bulletin board or planner or as you design your child's online school workplace. Create some fun by making magnets out of your favourite motivational sayings and sticking them to the fridge. When your kid faces academic problems and possibilities, a happy environment can do wonders to eliminate negative thinking and encourage a healthy learning mindset.

Help Students Visualise Positive Outcomes

Having regular goal-setting sessions with your student is crucial, as is explicit outlines the conditions under which they will be successful. Consider how it will feel when you finally succeed. To what extent will you be rewarded? How should one define success, and why does it even matter? Teaching your pupil the answers to these questions can help them develop a more optimistic outlook and focus on the bright side of things.

Avoid Negative Talk

Take a deep breath and relax when your pupil says, "I can't do it." Communicate this negative outlook to your kid. Try to get to the bottom of the deeper meaning. Inquire as to what is holding you back and create a strategy for overcoming it. You may change your child's "I Can't" into a "We Can" by showing them that you are in this together.

Be Their Biggest Fan

Your attitude as a parent or Learning Coach in an online school setting can have a profound effect on your child's sense of competence. They will develop the same traits if you have faith in your student. As a parent, you might want to try out some of these self-acceptance exercises to help your child recognise his or her individual qualities. When this happens, the learner can start thinking more positively, building self-esteem, and accepting who they are as an individual.

Learn More at: www.odmps.org

[soulventure91]

📙💛 for diric?

jumbo asks!! |

📙 What kind of subjects (of conversation, of discussion, in school or whatever) does your OC find interesting or engaging or that they can talk for hours about? What kind of stuff do they just find fun? Oh boy! Diric has many stories from his time in the army - silly adventures, mistakes made by himself and others in his unit, battles - that could fill time if he's allowed to unwind ahead of time. He loves a good story and listens for them as much as he offers them (it's why in an AU I have yet to play with, that version of Diric is a bard!). Dir's love of stories comes from growing up at a time in his home city where Lolth's priesthood was overthrown and the new regime - led by a gold dragon in Drow form, Aislinn, and a somewhat-possessed ex-bodyguard to the priesthood, Malarnur Duskblade - were releasing propaganda for the new generation to be raised free of Lolth's control. Start spinning him tales and you've got a dedicated listener who might could start spinning new additions quite on his own. As for fun, Diric is still figuring that out, but he did learn from his therapy stint that he can be just as much of a trickster and little shit as party rogue Cairann, if he's given a chance! Diric also enjoys flying when he can get a moment! Sadly, his psionic abilities only let him fly for about a minute of sustained focus, so if Diric were to find a way to get something that could let him fly for longer he'd be ecstatic!

💛 In general, how in control of their emotions is your OC? Do they have a good hold on them or do their emotions control them, not the other way around? What do you think is the reason behind this and is your OC ever concerned about their lack of or good control? OOF. In general, Dir can keep a fair hold of his emotions - his barb rage is surprisingly cold and focused - but when Diric's invasive thoughts and low self-esteem get kicked, he tends to spiral rapidly. He is getting better at trying to catch the spirals before they get out of control at the very least - being close to, and soon to be in, the Shadowfell doesn't help matters much. Diric's self-control is definitely because of being hidden away for much of his life, and being constantly treated as lesser due to being a half-elf for most of his life. The more control he had on his feelings, the more likely he could actually be treated better - or so he believed. It's part of why his rage is so tightly leashed; I'm not sure what could get him fully explosive, but I'm very sure if it did it would not be a pretty sight.

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

Huh, looked into the motivational interviewing thing, and not to sound like I think I know the ins and outs of something I just heard about and am reading a summary of, but it sounds kind of similar to how I talk to people

The trying to keep questions open and support what they want to do rather than telling them what I think they should do. Like if something really doesn't seem healthy I might try and nudge them or point out issues, but it's not like I can force anyone

Definitely try and focus on the affirmations cause like... I just figure that everyone seems like they have kind of low self esteem. Only way I see to internalize it is constant reinforcement that they're good enough and doing a good job

Worst cases are they can never internalize it, in which case it's good for them to keep hearing it, or they actually have great self esteem, in which case it's probably still nice to hear they're doing a good job

I guess I more meant reflective listening than active listening based off the description, like I just try to rephrase things back to people so they know I heard it enough to toss it back in my own words

But yeah... don't really have the focus to read anything in detail about it, but just kind of funny that what I try to do might be described as similar, just kind of by accident

All I actually ever really do is imagine how I'd feel dealing with whatever they're going through, and then say "It's hard when you feel like..." or whatever. Just kind of... assume if I wish I felt heard other people want to feel heard, and assume if I want to be valuable other people want to hear they're valuable

Like I said... just kind of funny how I talk with people is kind of similar to the cliff notes version of what you mentioned. Just figured I should look it up in case it was helpful

Maybe though that contextualizes why I complain about the only thing people ever say to me is that I'm "nice", like maybe you get why I mostly feel like I'm polite... maybe it's the same thing, but maybe I don't care about being nice since nice doesn't get my needs met, I'd like to be something that makes people want me... something like that

Eh... another monster long ask... they shouldn't have uncapped the character limit. How is it that me just wanting to say "read what you talked about and it accidently felt kind of familiar" took this long to say?

Oh... also funny enough the school I went to when I was young had a high Jewish population, so I was exposed to it a lot when I was young and it always resonated. The concept of praying with your feet once again resonates for me cause, while there's no faith in it for me that's kind of what I believe in

Anyway, hope you have a good night

Motivational interviewing and reflective listening have a lot of shared components! I think you're probably right about it being similar to what you came up with. It's a clinical approach that I think is really easy to grasp because of just how natural of a rhythm it follows for itself. Easy enough to sync your own rhythm to it some way or another. But it's very much focused on the other person. Part of why I use it is how attended to it makes a conversational partner feel. But unless someone matches your energy, it's definitely going to feel intensely one sided.

I hope you have a good night as well!