#they openly state that they don't have to be all over each other or be super affectionate

[rawliverandgoronspice]

.

not sure it's my post to make particularly, but I do fucking hate how the concept of white guilt gets weaponized within white people ingroups to throw at each other in order to goad each other into emotional passivity, detachement and inaction, it's just so extremely not what the concept is about initially and is actually still an extension of white guilt it turns out!!! as it's still reacting to that idea and concerned by trying to sever oneself from its perceived effects, regardless of what those are and what they do and what bigger picture they exist in!!!! anyway.

[anexperimentallife]

Project 2025 would ban anything the far right considers pornography. The far right considers anything queer-positive to be pornography, and they WILL encode that into law if given just a TINY bit more power.

Have queer fanfic (or trad published literature) or pics of your transition, or of two men kissing, saved to your hard drive? If the GOP get their way, you'd be guilty of possession of pornography. Did you share any of it? You'd be guilty of distribution of pornography. Have a sweet coming of age story with a queer protagonist? That'd be child pornography.

Even now, states are trying to make it a crime to be openly queer in public (by, among other things, classifying dressing as the "wrong gender" anyplace kids might see as a sex crime against children). Oh, and Florida tried (and thankfully failed) to impose the death penalty for the above.

This is just one example of the horrors awaiting us if the project comes to fruition.

And the far right is already screaming that any adult who mentions around kids that queer people exist is "grooming" children. Wear your Pride shirt past a playground? You're now a child groomer. Think they won't put that into law if allowed? You're naive.

The GOP currently controls the Supreme Court (which is how they overturned Roe v. Wade) and has a majority in one branch of congress. Imagine what will happen nationwide with the GOP controlling every branch of government, including supermajoroties in both houses of Congress.

Oh, and top GOP officials have also announced their desire to NUKE Gaza, so don't come at me with, "but I can't vote blue because Biden..." Or tell me how you think Gaza would somehow be better off with Trump and the GOP.

In France, the left and center joined together--even though they disagree vehemently on many issues (get two leftists together and they'll have three positions on any issue)--to stop the far right from totally taking over, because the one thing they ALL agree on is that fascists dictatorships are BAD.

Much the same with the UK finally kicking out their own neo-fascist party, the Torries, to install 400 Labour MPs. Not everyone loves Labour's policies, but virtually everyone with a brain cell recognizes that the Torries are fascists, and that FASCISM BAD.

"Every election, they tell us this is the most important election if our lives!" Yeah, because each election over the past several decades has been more important than the one before, until we are now at a tipping point between remaining a fucked up oligarchy with SOME resemblance to freedom, and an outright neo-fascist military dictatorship.

Trump has literally stated publicly his intent to criminalize dissent, use US armed forces against protesters (Kent State, but multiply it by thousands), purge all agencies and stuff them with those personally loyal to him, and use the DOJ to go after anyone he perceives as a threat to his political power, among other things.

And remember the things he did in office, like pulling the teeth of federal workplace protections for queer folks (which Biden reatored).

I don't care if you don't like Biden or Harris. Neither do I. But the alternative is Trump, and anyone telling you not to vote in 2024, or to vote third party, is rooting for Trump, and for Project 2025. Anyone telling you not to vote does not give one single solitary flying fuck about vulnerable populations in the US or anywhere else in the world.

"You're just being an alarmist!" Right. Like I was being alarmist when I predicted the failed Jan 6 coup attempt. Like I was being alarmist when I said the GOP would try to use control over SCOTUS to overturn Roe v. Wade.

Fucking vote.

[katakaluptastrophy]

I think what's so interesting about Gideon as a narrator at the anniversary dinner is the fact that there's clearly tensions that she's just not picking up on because she's only there to eat a dessert.

But these people are all the immensely powerful leaders of the Houses and consider themselves to be in competition for literal godlike powers and the favour of the emperor.

There's so many little snippets that are potentially intriguing: why is Teacher trying to prime the Ninth to consider the Fifth a threat? Why are the Third and the Sixth "sizing each other up like prizefighters"? The Fifth absolutely knew what they were doing when they sat the teen heads of the opposing cults near each other.

Through Gideon's lens, Magnus' speech is a little awkward jokey thing. But...the seneschal of the House that is known to be actively trying to absorb another House is saying it's such a shame they're all so remote from each other and what do they all have in common (and it's so quiet you "could have heard a hair flutter to the floor") - that had to feel a bit different to people who aren't Gideon.

Palamedes' is dissecting the meaning of "Master Warden" and at one point compares it to a prison warden. 'Dulcinea' asking about whether Magnus and Abigail have children is perhaps less small talk and rather more pointedly political. Harrow's apparently stilted conversation with Protesilaus is clearly her actually probing his limitations like he's a bad Chat GPT-run chatbot.

And then 'Dulcinea' tells Gideon she liked the dinner because it was "useful". In her typical "I never lied to you" way, Cyth wasn't lying when she said Abigail had to die because of her hobby - Abigail Pent let loose on the Facility would have risked blowing Cyth's cover sky high. But what does a Canaan House look like where after the dinner party, the Fifth go down to the facility, get a key, and survive to continue their 'the Houses are going to get along or else' agenda? We've seen Fifth House soft power on a smaller scale in HTN: and it looks like inviting a teenager round for coffee, lulling her into a false sense of security with small talk, and then physically preventing her from leaving the room until she does what you want, while smiling the entire time. A series of little coffee chats could probably have led to a lot of cooperation in Canaan House, one way or another.

Gideon jokes about Silas marrying Ianthe because of their similar colour pallete, but it does raise the fact that there seems to be some tension around the Third, its succession, and the *point* of Ianthe. Why is Silas openly saying Ianthe should have died at birth? Combined with Judith's comments in the Cohort Intelligence Files about succession on the Third, it feels like there's something else being said here that Gideon isn't picking up on.

And of course, Harrow wasn't the only one desperate to become a Lyctor because her con was unsustainable. Presumably at some point Corona and Ianthe would be expected to marry, or at least take on more separate roles as Corona prepared to take over the throne and Ianthe was funneled off elsewhere. At some point, their package deal would have become unsustainable and Corona's cover would have been blown. But much as Harrow wants to become a Lyctor so she can reveal the state of the Ninth without repercussions, Ianthe is probably in part motivated to become a Lyctor for the same reason. Because otherwise, what would Ianthe's expected role have been? Amidst the suggestion of anxiety about the Idan succession, the dinner party also presents the fact that the reason Abigail and Magnus' infertility isn't a succession crisis for the ruling family of the Fifth is that Abigail's younger brother dutifully married in his early 20s and had kids. We know there are branch families in Ida - Babs is from one. He may be a prince, but he's not treated well, and you do get the sense that the stakes to stay in power in Ida are high.

We don't learn anything about the political situation in the Houses themselves during HTN or NTN, but in the wake of Canaan House, you have to suspect there are a number of tensions and concerns.

[whirlybirbs]

— THE FOOL ; KYOJURO RENGOKU ; 煉獄

summary: all you wanted was to pass out in your room, but no. here you are, dragging yourself (quite literally) up the mountainside to the ubuyashiki mansion's onsen. pairing: kyojuro rengoku / f!hashira!reader wc: 3.6k tags: set-pre season 1, rated T, hashira dynamics, kyojuro's impeccable manners, tengen uzui is a son of a bitch, good fluff, embarrassed flirting, slightly forbidden romance, retable reader insert who just wants to be left alone to bathe in peace a/n: don't look at me.

Your bones are tired. 

Not just your bones — but every ounce of marrow in those very bones. The expression 'bone tired'? Yea, it was written and smithed with you in mind. Tonight, you're the muse for true exhaustion — battered, bruised, and barely hanging on. 

The short walk up to the Ubuyashiki Mansion's onsen is proving formidable. 

Every muscle in your body aches and with each step closer, you pray you'll have a moment of quiet peace to yourself. After all, Shinobu insisted (read as threatened) that you soak in the hot spring after administering simple medical aid post-mission. 

Something, something, hot spring stimulates blood flow, blah, blah, strong healing properties.

All you wanted was to pass out in your room, but no. Here you are, dragging yourself (quite literally) up the mountainside through the willows of wisteria on a lantern-lit path to the hot spring.

Your geta catches on a root and you trip up, scoffing tiredly as you catch yourself and grumble a curse. Ow. Irritation simmers under your skin, and you wonder absently what's gotten into you. 

It normally takes more for you to be so... cranky. And openly so.

When you reach the gate of the onsen, your eye twitches.

Son of a —

There's Hashira abound tonight. 

"Look who's back from her little foray out East!"

Did Tengen need to be so loud? 

All the damn time?

The small, dimly lit spot is surrounded by wisteria and maple. The gravel crunches beneath your feet as you sigh and shut the red gate behind you, paying careful mind not to catch your fingers in the latch. Lanterns are perched on rocks, candles only beginning to run with wax in the evening air. The open-air bath overlooks the sprawling estate down the mountain. 

You sigh deeply from your chest, your eyes practically at half-mast when you turn around to snipe Tengen with an unamused look.

"Our dear Dream Hashira... you look like shit," comes the rogue commentary, "No offense, beautiful."

Tengen is at the far edge of the steaming bath with both arms outstretched along the edge. As always, he's taking up as much space as humanly possible. His silver hair hangs about his shoulders — and he even goes so far as to pin you with a rogueish smile. You stare flatly at him in response.

Then: the middle finger. 

"Woof. Tough crowd tonight," he rumbles as he slides a look towards a decidedly uninterested Sanemi. The Wind Hashira has his head hung back against the edge with a towel over his forehead — his eyes are closed. If you didn't know any better, you'd assume he was asleep. 

"Tengen, do me a favor," comes the gritted reply from the scarred man, "and shut the hell up." 

You motion plainly to Sanemi — the gesture says thank you — with your brows raising in silent agreeance. Even the act of speaking right now is all too much. 

"I must agree with Tengen," comes the wistful and soft voice of Muichiro Tokito as he lifts his chin from its submerged position; his hair is swimming about him. The Mist Hashira looks... almost peaceful; but his words are damning, "You do look like shit."

Somehow it's worse when Tokito says it.

That makes Sanemi lift his head and pry one eye open. 

You serve him an unenthused look from your spot by the benches. You hope for a bit of sympathy, but instead:

"...What the fuck happened to you?" comes his dry response to your current state of being. 

Which — fine, maybe it's fair. The others rarely ever see you in any state aside from perfect. You're meticulous about your appearance; from your uniform to your posture, you value perfection over all else. The devil that has always haunted you is the details. Perhaps it was your rigid upbringing, but regardless—

"Ah!" suddenly, there's a resoundingly warm voice booming across the small courtyard from the onsen's koshitsu, "I see you've returned, Lady— Oh... my, are you quite alright...?"

You've got to be kidding me.

Kyojuro Rengoku's face is twisted into genuine worry. He's standing in the middle of the path, his focus entirely on you. His hair is undone and the sunburst strands are spilling along his chest and back. There's a small cotton towel slung around his narrow waist. You purposefully level your eyes with his, not daring to let your gaze waver — and then you curse Kocho Shinobu a thousand times over for sending you here.  

(Tengen is smirking. You want to throw your sandal at his head.)

Finally, you speak. 

"I'm fine." 

You don't sound fine. You sound like a woman who'd endured being unceremoniously whipped about by a snake Demon in a swamp for three hours before she could finally land a killing blow. 

Kyojuro frowns. His eyes — like two gems of carnelian — are nearly glowing with concern. Those dark brows of his knit and you try to grit out a tight smile. It fails. It looks more like a wince than anything.

It's... pathetic.

"Perhaps a soak will help," the Flame Hashira offers gently. His tone is soft with pity.

Shit. Fuck. Damn it. Fucking Shinobu, fucking hot spring, fucking swamp demon, fucking—

Right. Right, a soak. It's the thing that Tengen Uzui is somehow singlehandedly making more unbearable — he's dragging Sanemi and Muichiro by the necks from the onsen — by leaving you alone with Rengoku. 

"Go on you two! We're just leaving anyways, right fellas?"

"Die," you spit hoarsly in his direction; your expression is flat.

Tengen throws you a wink. "Relax a little, pretty. You deserve it!"

You could still hit him with your geta. Maybe if you put enough force behind it, it could kill him. 

After all, he's been doing this ever since you let it slip about your little crush. 

And just when a girl thinks she can trust an ex-shinobi... never again. You don't care if Tengen is the one offering to buy the sake, you're never drinking with that man again. He's a gossip and a whore. A gossiping whore. A devoted husband-whore who gossips like no-fucking-other. 

Admitting to Tengen Uzui's stupid face that you've been avoiding Kyojuro Rengoku because of your feelings was the second worst mistake you ever made.

Your first worst mistake was not dragging your sorry ass back down the mountain after you and Kyojuro were left alone in the onsen. 

At least — at the very least — it's quieter now, even if the silence feels oddly intimate. 

You're thankful Kyojuro has retreated into the water of the bath; the distance allows you to ignore the burning pit in your gut at the thought of him and you together. In the onsen. Alone.

You've bathed alongside the other Hashira before. The whole lot of you are warriors. There's no shame in the body — and admittedly, you grew up around konyoku onsen in Tokyo. 

It wasn't the nakedness that was the problem. 

...Maybe it was a little bit of the nakedness. 

But, mostly the fact it's Kyojuro Rengoku: the kindest man you've ever met, a man whose smile is nearly as bright as the morning sun, a man whose laugh feels like a summer thunderstorm. A man who is tall, strong, and handsome. It's no small secret he's well-loved among the ranks; respected, admired, sought after... Who wouldn't make an attempt atcatching his eye? After all, he's capable, swift, courageous, honorable—

Having a heart attack.

He's having a heart attack.

I mean — it's you. And him. Alone. 

...Naked. And alone.

He himself could have strangled Tengen when the ex-shinobi scurried off, leaving him here — though he'd never admit it. That sneaky bastard is fully aware of Kyojuro's feelings towards you, and Kyojuro swears the Sound Hashira gets off on forcing him to confront the very thing he forbids himself to even dwell upon. 

Your voice pulls him from his enraptured internal monologue.

"I am fine," you break the silence as your fingers work at the obi around your waist in nervousness. Your back is to him, and as the grey kimono slips down your shoulders, he panics, "I swear."

"I'm not sure I've ever seen you in such a state as this," he tries to sound level, confident, as he turns in the water; suddenly the mountainside is very beautiful. Yes, very nice. Very... mountain-y. 

Kyojuro's eyes flick over his shoulder briefly, back at you.

He sees skin. More of your skin than he's ever seen. There are dimples at the base of your spine. Good god. He swallows tightly and turns his gaze forward once more. 

Even the act of shrugging your kimono off is enough to make you rasp. The ribs Shinobu had been so concerned about are protesting now. It's fine. Everything is fine. You peek over your shoulder. Relief floods you as you realize Rengoku's back is turned. 

Quickly, you slip into the onsen. It's the quickest you've moved all night. 

You plunge in deep, ignoring the burn of the water along of the more raw marks and bruises bitten into your skin. Your ribs wail in protest as you inhale sharply at the heat, and you try your best to coach your expression into unwavering when Kyojuro turns back around. 

"Better?"

All you can do is grunt from your submerged position.

That makes him laugh.

You try to memorize the warm sound and tuck it neatly into your heart. It's cute, the way his eyes scrunch when he laughs. You find yourself staring for a second before swallowing down your affections.

"Shinobu demanded I come," you explain slowly, lifting your hands and playing with the surface of the water, "If I had it my way, I'd be in bed."

Or murdering Tengen in his sleep.

"The hot springs are good for healing," Kyojuro chirps brightly, canting his head as he speaks almost as if he's going to reprimand you. His voice drops an octave, "You know that, Lady Hashira."

He's teasing you.

He's — he's seriously teasing you.

You're naked and he's teasing you.

You sink a little lower into the water and narrow your eyes at him — the act makes you look a bit like an angry, wet cat. Kyojuro can only grin. Truly this is rare form for you. Your disposition is usually sunny, if not well-manicured and mindfully well-mannered. You are every bit a Lady Hashira. Moreso than Shinobu or Mitsuri in a way. 

You are the Dream Pillar, after all, and a woman composed purely of romanticism in his eyes. It's the way he could see you, in another life, in a fine silk kimono and delicate make-up; he could see you in gold and pearls, pouring tea worth more than his monthly salary into fine ceramic cups. Suitors abound.

Though, perhaps that's not so different than now.

Not with the way you're delicately pouring yourself a helping of Tengen's abandoned sake at the edge of the onsen. You'd think it was the most expensive liquor in the land with the care you take to not spill a drop. 

You slide him a hesitant look over your shoulder, the water lapping at your bruised back. Kyojuro lifts a brow.

"What?" you ask, feigning innocence as you turn back to the task at hand, "It'd be a shame if it went to waste."

"I didn't know sake had healing properties," Kyojuro offers slowly, his lips twitching upwards as he watches you take a long sip from the cup.

"Something, something, blood flow," you murmur mostly to yourself, tossing back the rest with a scowl and a wince, "I'm sure Shinobu would agree."

Kyojuro leans back against the wall, sinking a little deeper as he settles onto the seat beneath the water. The ends of his hair are soaked, turning an even darker shade of crimson. His shoulders flex as he relaxes his arms against the stones. 

His own body is tired. Beneath the water, he absently stretches his legs and pays careful mind to the twinge of pain in his left knee.

"Whether she agrees or disagrees is none of my business," he supplies diplomatically.

You reach for the jug, giving it a light shake. It's nearly empty anyway. 

You extend it, offering it to Kyojuro.

The Flame Hashira shakes his head. "No thank you. I reserve drink for special occasions only."

You quirk a brow. Your tone is light. Airy, almost. "I didn't know that about you."

He hums. You place the sake down, sink lower into the water, and try to focus on his face — not the strength in his forearms, nor the water running in rivets down his chest. 

"My father has quite a love for the stuff," he admits with a controlled frown, "I avoid it when I can."

Ah. 

Right. 

Your own father, also a retired Hashira, voiced many a feeling about Shinjuro Rengoku when he was given the chance. You'd visited home months ago and when you mentioned serving alongside Kyojuro, his eyes narrowed dangerously and impeccably sharp. His tongue lashed out at you — as if you were the retired Flame Pillar himself. 

There's a history there, it seems.

"I apologize."

"Don't," he says; firm yet soft.

"It is better that way, really," you mumble in an attempt to soothe the ache you can see across his face, "Liquor leads to making many a fool."

Kyojuro's brow quirks. "You sound as though you're speaking from experience."

"Perhaps," you say slyly, wandering to the far end of the pool. You're nearly submerged to your nose, "A lady shall never tell."

"And if I asked Tengen?"

"You wouldn't dare." The water splashes as you whip around and glare — though Kyojuro senses no real malice. 

It was no small secret you'd been dragged through the mud after you and Tengen's night on the town. Why the Master called a meeting that morning was beyond you, but there's a part of you that wonders if he was slightly amused at your less-than-pleasant state. You swore you were going to puke all over the engawa when you bowed — never mind the fact the morning sun's brightness was enough to nearly drill your brain into a pulp. 

Kyojuro had never seen you so... disheveled. 

Second to tonight, that is.

The Flame Hashira smirks. "If the lady forbades it, then who am I to ignore her wishes?"

Fucking Tengen, fucking Shinobu, fucking Kyojuro—

Fucking honorable, respectable, polite Kyojuro.

"Well, this lady does forbade it," you say with narrowed eyes, "So there."

"You really are in rare form this evening."

He's smirking. That's new.

"Yes, well," you mumble as you lull your head back and wet the rest of your hair; the warmth seeps through the strands and feels soothing on your scalp. You already feel better. Less like a swamp demon's plaything, more like a girl trying her best not to let her petal-mouthed feelings slip out, "We can blame Muzan Kibutsuji for that."

"I surmise it has been a difficult day?" he rumbles quietly from his spot in the onsen.

"You haven't the slightest idea."

"Care to enlighten me?" 

"And embarrass myself?" she mutters, splashing absently, "I'd prefer to remain capable in your eyes, Rengoku. I'll spare you the details. And anyone else who asks."

He's grinning. That sort that appears in an optimist's dream. Bright, sunny and so enrapturing it feels like your heart is being scorched by its warmth. 

"Your capability will never waver in my eyes," Kyojuro supplies as he flicks the water absently; his gaze has fallen to the sway of the wisteria in the evening air, "You are amazing. One particularly bad day does not diminish that fact."

Maybe it's the sake. Maybe it's the compliment. Either way, the tips of your ears feel warm. 

That little, nibbling feeling is back in his chest. The very one he's been trying his best to ignore for months. 

"You are only being kind," you mutter, "Because, as the other's made very clear, I look like shit." 

Kyojuro finds himself smiling a bit at the jest — his fingers glide along the top of the water, tracing idly patterns into it as he watches you sink deeper and deeper into the hot spring. Finally, for a moment, you descend below the surface.

Then, you break the surface slowly. Your hair is swimming around you, clinging to your bare shoulders. You exhale, brush water from your lashes, and inhale. You look... beautiful. A different sort of beautiful than he's used to. This sort of beauty is relaxed. Tired. You seem a bit freer than usual — unrestrained by the image you aim to keep well protected amongst the others. 

Kyojuro sinks a little deeper himself.

He's still watching you.

Your eyes find his. 

There's a moment where all you two can do is blink — Flame and Dream mingling for a breath beneath the stars. Wide eyes bound by a moment of silence, a moment of hesitation. He feels like all the breath has been swept from his lungs. All Kyojuro can do is stare into your eyes.

Then, he speaks.

Blurts, more aptly.

"You are beautiful."

...Did he just say that? 

Your lips part in quiet shock.

Suddenly, his posture is more rigid, and his expression a bit panicked — perhaps because your own eyes widen a mile at the words that spill from his mouth. Kyojuro raises his hands as he inhales sharply, the heat of the bath inching a degree hotter. Whether it's from the sudden admission or a misfire of his breathing technique, you're unsure. 

His cheeks are hot. He leans forward, shaking his head.

Damn you, Tengen. Damn you, damn you—

"I-I simply mean — you... You do not look like shit—" He attempts to explain.

"Oh—"

"Yes, yes, I—"

"Thank you," you say quickly, trying to calm your own racing heart as he swallows down a bought of embarrassment and offers a pained smile your way. It's enough to quell his panic.

"Of course," he breathes out, sagging a bit deeper into the water as he fiddles with his hands. He has a habit of rubbing at his callouses. Kyojuro swallows, then hoarsly admits: "One might think that I was drinking the sake with the way I'm making a fool of myself."

Your laugh is like a balm. 

"Hardly," you offer as you sink into the water with a smile; your eyes are glimmering with something a bit mischievous as you swim towards the water's edge. You pause, then slip a look his way over your bare shoulder, "...Do you mean it?"

"That I'm a fool? Of course."

You scoff quietly. Kyojuro's smile is tight — knowing. 

Then, he speaks warmly and kindly. He confirms your question with ease. His arms are wound across his chest. "You are truly beautiful. The most beautiful woman I have ever had the grace to lay eyes upon, my Lady." 

Maybe you could drown yourself here. 

You're not entirely sure how you'll ever recover from this — not from how tender he says it, not from how honest his words sound. So suddenly you feel as though he's hung every star in the sky for your eyes only, having wished upon them, time and time again, for nothing more than a moment of your time. It's reverent is what it is.

You're about to open your mouth and say something when a bright, girlish giggle cuts through the tension—

Kyojuro Rengoku has never been more thankful for Mitsuri Kanroji's ill timing. Behind her is Lady Shinobu. 

The pink and green-haired Hashira is ecstatic to find both yourself and Rengoku in the hot spring — her delight is palpable as she waves her arms and cheers brightly into the air. Her crow caws overhead. Her darker-haired counterpart levels them both with polite smiles.

"Oh, this is just lovely! My friends!" she's chirping as she closes the gate, "I am so glad to see you both back safe and sound—"

"Heading my advice, it seems," Shinobu says slowly — almost like she knows something you don't. Her pale, lilac eyes flick between you and Rengoku. For a moment, you almost suspect she's about to ask something.

"How are you feeling?" Mitsuri cries in your direction, shrugging her kimono off with ease — unbothered entirely by Rengoku's presence. The two are like brother and sister, and Mitsuri has never batted an eye about nudity, "How are your ribs?"

Kyojuro levels you with a look. 

You offer a sheepish grin. 

"Yes," Shinobu mutters as she slips out of her geta, "Four broken ribs."

Kyojuro's nostrils flare. "You said nothing about the sort."

You lift your chin in defiance. "I told you I was sparing you the details."

Mitsuri's bright eyes dart between the two of you — a little bit of giddiness blooming at the sight of Kyojuro looking so worried about their fellow Dream Hashira. 

He slides a look towards Kocho. Then rolls his shoulders. With a sigh, he moves to stand, the water lapping at his waist. You decidedly find the edge of the onsen very interesting as you try to coach yourself through the overwhelming urge to stare. 

"I trust you'll monitor her condition, Kocho," he murmurs as he moves through the water; the words sit nicely in your heart and you feel a little pride swell at his indication that he cares if you're alright, "I'll let you ladies have some time amongst yourselves."

You catch his eyes for a second. A moment. A lingering little breath that mingles between you — like Kocho and Mitsuri aren't there. Then, he stepped from the bath and gathered his robe.

For now, the two of you will pretend earlier never happened.

For now.

Just a little thing between the two of you — and suddenly, you're not so cranky. Once the muse for exhaustion, you're now the muse of lovesickness. 

When the gate closes behind Kyojuro, Kocho speaks.

"...What was all that?"

Nevermind. The crankiness is back.

"Shut up."

[starlightervarda]

I can't sleep so Star Trek TOS/SNW dashboard simulator

🪆 chekovsgunman Follow

to this day I can't understand why they're called the Three Musketeers if there's FOUR of them? Did Dumas just forget his own main character???

🪴 plantdad Follow

You've got to be kidding me

🪆 chekovsgunman Follow

I know right? A mistake like this would never happen in Russian literature!

5,324 notes

🩺 therealmccoy Follow

After months of taking care of everyone else on this giant tin can I really earned this shore leave. Now I get to drink, relax, flirt with some lovely ladies and sleep until noon 😎 Just what the the doctor ordered!

🩺 therealmccoy Follow

Update: A fucking purple tree ate five crewmen. Again.

955 notes

🖖 iamspock Follow

Despite being among humans for close to a decade, I still find their tendency to overcomplicate and avoid aspects of social situations to be confusing at best and infuriating at worst. So much time is wasted on tedious matters such as who gets to 'make the first move' or 'not come off too strong'.

For example, everyone aboard my vessel is keenly aware of Lt. Uhura and Engineer Scott's 'budding romance'. But their need to extend their oddly avoidant courtship ritual, rather than outright state their interest in one another, is pointless, as well as frustrating to witness.

Why do they do this? Why not 'get it over with', as they say?

I encourage answers from all cultures, human or otherwise.

💅 janicethemenace Follow

I'm sorry Scotty and Nyota are WHAT

💉 xtinechapel Follow

DELETE THIS

💖 ofmanytongues Follow

SPOCK NOOO HE DOESN'T THINK OF ME LIKE THAT 😭

🔧 scott-free Follow

But I do! I thought you knew and were just being nice about it!

💖 ofmanytongues Follow

DMing you rn 😳

🖖 iamspock Follow

You're welcome.

24,103 notes

🌟 j_tiberius_k Follow

PSA: If you visit Antares VII, stay clear of any yellow plants, their pollen can have some...inconvenient effects on the biology of humanoid peoples.

My XO and I suffered through troubling symptoms until it was almost too late. Thankfully, we figured out a cure in time.

🪴 plantdad Follow

I can only find info on the symptoms. What was the cure? 👀

🌟 j_tiberius_k Follow

Do I really have to say it?

6,322 notes

💊 mmmbenga Follow

The galaxy if Klingons didn't exist

⚔️ glorytotheempire Follow

Wow. Humans are openly advocating for our disappearance yet Klingons are the bad guys? I thought your federation stood for peace.

💊 mmmbenga Follow

Cry harder you genocidal wrinkly-faced bitch I hope your planet gets sucked into a black hole

#If you think a joke is on par with what they do then book an MRI because you might have brain damage #fuck Klingons and anyone that sympathizes with them

35,007 notes

😎 ortegaaaas Follow

So I can either skim through this asteroid belt on Warp 2 for 3 hrs or on Warp 5 for 15 mins

🚀 mitchiemitch Follow

Erica no! That's not how navigation works!

😎 ortegaaaas Follow

FLOOR IT???

🚀 mitchiemitch Follow

ERICA NO

😎 ortegaaaas Follow

HOW ABOUT WARP 7 FOR 15 SECONDS?

💖 ofmanytongues Follow

ERICA YOU'RE GOING TO CRASH THE SHIP

😎 ortegaaaas Follow

I AM GOING TO HARNESS LIGHT-SPEED TO ZIGZAG THROUGH THE VOID

🚀 mitchiemitch

ERICA P L E A S E

112,517 notes

🐴 sirsilverfox Follow

I know some species are very private, but you'd think they'd share the important stuff, esp when we should trust each other by now.

How are we supposed to enjoy my weekly dinners if you all don't tell me what to watch out for :/ This is the third time this happens to the same person and I had to get the answer why from our CMO

💫 numerouna Follow

Wait what did I miss while I was gone

🐴 sirsilverfox Follow

Spock got wasted on my chocolate fudge cake and hit his head on the counter ://///

2,904 notes

[dcxdpdabbles]

There are so many fics out there where Danny is either adopted by or the biological son of Bruce. In many of these he might have an existential crisis but other wise he is fine and happy to be part of the BatFam. Where are the ones where he fights against this just doesn't want to connect with Bruce of the rest of the family.

One: Bruce is a billionaire and Danny has had some bad experience with Vlad trying to adopt/get him as a son. So even if Bruce is one of "the good ones" Danny does't like billionaires.

Two: Danny for the most part grew up in a mostly normal family and home, with two Parents and a sibling. Most of the BatFam were only children and parents are dead or came from dysfunctional homes. I think Duke is the only one who really had a normal childhood.

Three: The Fenton family is pretty openly affectionate with each other and are pretty normal emotionally. Danny has a great relationship with all of them (Danny went evil in the timeline where they all died). Most of the Batfam is emotionally constipated.

Four: Danny is used to his boundaries being respected. I don't think that the Batfam is great at that. With Bruce needing to know everything, Tim's stalking tendencies, Barbra's hacking, just to name the obvious.

Danny knew that he was adopted into the Fentons. His parents had never hidden it from him, but they never treated him as anything besides their child.

He had come into their lives one day when one of Maddie's old high school friends had called, bawling that she had gotten pregnant and that her husband wasn't the father. He had discovered the truth and thrown her out, leaving her pregnant and alone on the streets of Gotham.

Maddie had been furious at the affair- she hated disloyalty- but had decided to help her only for the baby's sake.

She had driven over multiple state lines back to her home city to pick up the friend only to find out she had taken her life and left her newborn son to Maddie. While Maddie had been able to escape the hellhole that was Gotham, Rebecca never got the chance, not with her average intelligence.

In high school, the two were as close as sisters until Rebecca fell into the whisky bottles her father carelessly left around. She blossomed into a beautiful woman upon their graduation- more so than Maddie-, turning from a sweet homebody into someone who got into exclusive parties and powerful men.

Maddie had slowly drifted away from her, so far away at college, and Rebecca fell further and further into the party scene. It was a surprise that she settled down for marriage and Maddie truly believed that she had been happy with her husband.

That's why Danny was such a surprise. Maddie did not know who Danny's biological father was, but she did not care. Not after they placed the sobbing infant into her arms, and she realized that she was his mother now.

She immediately phoned Jack to tell him what had happened, and he told Jazz she was a big sister before the call ended. They told him the story about when he started to learn his colors. Not with her taking her life, of course; that was when Danny turned fourteen. This was only a few days before Danny revealed he was Phantom to them.

They were first shocked, but then they became supportive. Phantom now had two proud ghost hunters following him, shooting photos instead of guns.

It was embarrassing, but it was also nice of them.

And that was that. Danny is a Fenton, adopted, but a child of Maddie and Jack Fenton all the same.

He never gave his biological parents a thought. In fact, he all but forgot about them until Sam convinced him to take an ancestry test. He had allowed her to swipe his mouth, package his DNA, and send it off to see where his people came from, completely forgetting that he would not match with Jazz, who had done the same thing a month prior.

His results were shocking, to say the least.

Somehow, someway, Rebecca Silver had been in the system of DNA samples, and they had matched him to her alongside his biological father.

Bruce Wayne. Rebecca had an affair with Bruce Wayne, arguably one of the wealthiest men in the country, and they had sent him a message to let him know he matched with his son.

An eccentric billionaire has just been told that Danny was his. He knew that song and dance well, and it was never fun to dance to. Danny could only stare at the results with dread as Sam apologized profoundly.

"Maybe he won't see it." Tucker tried. "I mean, Wayne is probably so busy with rich people stuff he doesn't have time to even look at his emails. Especially ones that will come in spam since it's comersolized."

"Yeah, Maybe" Danny doesn't think he's that lucky.

A month later, the Fenton's home phone rings. His parents are working on a new invention on the dinning room table, Danny is stretched out in front of the TV watching a mindless cartoon and Jazz is crocheting in the love chair.

It's a typical Tuesday night where everyone is doing their own thing but close enough to each other that they can call it family time. Jazz is the closest to the house phone so she picks it up with a cheerful "Fenton house, this is Jasmine."

Her smile slowly slips away as all the blood drains from her face. Alarmed by her reaction, Danny sits up. "Jazz? What's wrong?"

His words have his parents' heads snapping up, zoning in on their daughter's rapidly growing destress. Yes, they get distracted often with their work, but the Fentons have always been loving parents.

They quickly spring into action.

"Jazzy-pants?" His dad says, walking up to her and taking the phone from her slack hand. He covers the speaking end of it, not paying attention to the call as his mom hugs his sister. "What's the matter?"

"It's... Bruce Wayne's lawyer," Jazz says faintly. "He's calling about Danny. He said that Mr. Wayne has been attempting to take Danny back and that they are going to take us to court soon."

The room goes dead quiet, and Danny snorts. "He can't do that without a letter or something. Come on Jazz, it's obviously a prank."

Someone at school likely found out and thought it would be funny to make "the biggest loser of Casper High" Danny Fenton, think a billionaire wanted him as a son. Honestly, he wouldn't put it past the A-listers.

He laughs to show how stupid this prank is, but neither of his parents joins him. Instead, his mother closes her eyes and whispers, "We received his court papers weeks ago. We've been trying to get a lawyer."

What.

She pushes Jazz into his dad's arms, where his sister is slowly panicking. His dad tries to soothe her as his mom opens the drawer under the TV, pulling out three orange envelopes. She looks remorseful as she hands them to Danny. "We didn't want you to worry. I'm sorry we didn't tell you sooner. Vlad said he would help, but he wasn't sure what he could do against such a powerful man"

And there, in overly complicated terms, is clear as day. Bruce Wayne wanted full custody of Danny Fenton and was willing to take the Fentons to court to get it done.

The man- who has never so much as met Danny, much less have a right to say what happens to him- was accusing his parents of child abuse and child neglect! He not only was trying to take Danny away but Jazz as well!

Where did this man get the audacity!?

"I don't want to go with him!" He shouts rage, making his eyes glow green. "I don't even know him!"

"I know, sweetie. I won't let him take you" His mom says, yanking him into a protective hug, and he realizes that her shirt is getting wet with his tears. Tears that fall just like the woman who raised him. "Everything will be alright."

It won't be, he knows, but he won't tell her that. He just lets his mother hold him, and when his sister and father crash into the hug a second later, he holds them just as tight.

He's not sure how they will win against Bruce Wayne, but Danny will fight his biological father every step of the way. He will not be his son.

______________________________________________________________

Bruce stares at the photo of Danny Fenton- his son. His boy, whom he wasn't aware was alive until a month ago- and the reports from concerned teachers and whatever information Barbra could pull from his classmate's social media.

Dramatically dropping grades.

Clear signs of sleepless nights.

Flinches whenever his parents pull out "ghost hunting" gear.

Strange bruises and cuts along his arms and legs.

His small stature is no longer growing properly like his peers.

It all pointed to one thing. The Fentons were abusing his son and Bruce would bet the sister was suffering from the same treatment if her own grade dropping, sleepless eyes, and desperate race to adulthood were any indication.

Bruce laces his hands, resting his chin on them as the Batcomputer slowly flips through various reports being quickly dismissed by incompetent social workers who all claim it was Ghost Hunter related and not a cause for concern.

Those same social workers all seemed to have gotten quite generous donations from one Vlad Masters, a well-known family friend of the Fentons.

He hates corruption that allows children to be hurt, more so when it;'s his own children.

"When do we go retrieve Brother?" Damian asks, green eyes narrowing in rage as the reports scroll slowly. Ever since he found out Danny is a blood sibling, all Damian has been talking about is getting his elder brother home. "I am displeased with how long it's been, Father."

"Soon," Bruce promises, aware the rest of his children gather around him. They don't speak, but he feels their protective rage at what Danny has gone through, and he knows they will use every last bit of their training to get Danny home. "Either through the courts or in person. Danny will be with us come summer."

"Good," grunts Jason. "I'll have a little chat with his adoptive scumbags when we get him."

"I'll help," Dick tacks on.

"I'll make it look like an accident," Tim says, voice leveled but eyes blazing as the reports get to the neglect section. He has personal issues about that.

Bruce has never been so proud. "Court date is set for three weeks. They can't weasel their way out of it this time."

Don't worry son, he thinks to Danny, I'm going to save you.

[bridgertonnteas]

So I have some tea about our favorite bridgertons

I was at the afterparty today of the London screening & premiere and some info are confirmed that I happened to know from today and from before through insiders 1) Ben is the s4 lead & everyone already knows it and just like they used Polin season to build Fran story, they will use Ben season to build Eloise story 2) They thought about combining seasons but the idea fell through after fear of the fan's reaction. They thought about combining Ben & Eloise seasons first, but Ben fans have been eagerly wanting his season, so they decided to focus on him in his own season. The idea presented itself again about possibly combining Eloise and Fran seasons together in one season, but that idea feel through as well. So far each season will focus on a specific sibling 3) There is a possible spinoff or two they thinking about one would be between s3 & s4 and one between s4 & s5. the spin-off they think about it to happen between s3 & 4 is a young Violet spin-off. nothing is finalized yet but they have been seriously considering it 4) All the cast of s3 gave their agreement to come back in future seasons and they don't want a repeat of s1 leads not returning and JB did say he wants to be back as long as they need him even if as cameo

gossip side of things 1) Luke T & Harriet Cains did break up then went back together and now it's unclear what the state of their relationship is, but at least they are still friends. Things possibly will be clearer when him as the lead of the new season news will be out. She was seen with another man that she was cozy with at the NYC premiere, but Luke T has also said he video called her during that event according to a fan video

2) Bessie Carter was upset about something she read in her comments bit of it was unreasonable due to jealousy and comments that affected her for a bit and for a brief time it made her unfollow all her female co-stars 3) Claudia Jessie isn't engaged, but she is still in a long time serious relationship 4) Luke Newton's casual gf or what some call situationship he has with certain someone isn't over yet, but it isn't serious nor exclusive either. He hasn't been introducing her as his gf to anyone and calls her just a friend of a friend & came close to ending that relationship once. She didn't show up even at the after party, but there has been a talk that he and his friends possibly met her & her friends at another party later, but that is unclear and unconfirmed. He was seen however with his friends and his assistant leaving the London after party together. some of his team left with him as well 5) Nicola Coughlan Was dating someone but broke up with him by end of March. some speculated that she still might be with that person, but they are just still friends. The guy has common friends with her friends and the relationship ended in a friendly way. He was seen kissing someone else in April

6) Both Luke N and Nicola C were seen together having more than friendly strolls in some of the press tours countries. They also had a private trip together along with their teams and things seemed to be more than friendly with them, but according to close acquaintances they are very still close friends & they so far not taking their relationship further out of worry of complicating their work relationship and unsure if those feelings that developed before during s3 filming but ignored then again during past few months were real or if they were just due to spending much of their time together. The show staff, their respective teams, and others also see their attraction to one another & have been openly hoping for them to get together one day sooner or later

[is-the-fire-real]

When I was last on tumblr, it was ten years ago and one of the biggest faux pas you could commit was incorrect tagging.

It was Literally Colonialism to use a tag that was For Certain Oppressed Groups. The actually-autistic tag was created because allistics "took over" the autism tag, and this/other tags became heavily policed by users to make sure they remained a "safe space".

I remember seeing countless posts about how autistics would never be safe if we didn't have a bubble to protect us from interacting with allistics. The same went for tags about transliness and queerness. The going approach used militarized and hyperbolic language to characterize and other folks who weren't in the community: autistics (the group I had the most direct experience with) were attacked by allistic invaders who violated and conquered autistic tagging systems.

The "Literally Colonialism" isn't a joke. I saw plenty of suggestions that to even use a tag which was perceived as being "not yours" was colonization of ideas and thoughts. To be allistic, have an opinion on autism, and tag it as "autism" was held up as being exactly the same as the behavior of empires and nation-states.

Obviously, I don't entirely agree, and don't think this particular hyperbolization is helpful for advocacy or for dialogue. But I do find it interesting how, in the decade since I was last here, it seems to (mostly) still be true that you should only use certain tags if you have a particular identity...

... unless you're not Jewish, in which case feel free to use any and all Judaism-related tags and break the system's meager functionality for Jewish people.

As someone who is using Tumblr to connect to online Judaism, it's daunting to see how many posts under "judaism" are by non-Jews screeching about Israel. Seeing non-Jews openly talk about they tag their posts with gore, rape denial, Holocaust denial, October 7 denial, and other deliberately-triggering material with Jewish-themed tags specifically to make Jewish users of Tumblr feel unsafe. Reading them telling each other about how this is advocacy, this will absolutely win the war for Gazans, and how anybody who blocks them (in order to make sure the tags can actually work as intended) is a genocidal coward. Using that self-same militaristic language to describe their activities, only instead of criticizing, they're bragging.

It's, uh, kind of fucked up.

Imagine going to the actually-autistic tag and finding nothing but a wall of allistics claiming that they've victoriously conquered the tag from those inhuman monsters pretending to have problems when other Real People are the ones who are suffering. I think we would all intuitively understand that this would be Wrong. Even if there was some supposed outward justification for being mad at certain autistics, we would understand that holding all autistics everywhere responsible for it is wrong. That breaking a community's ability to talk to each other is wrong. That trying to trigger people and then telling them to commit suicide is wrong.

And we'd also understand, or come to, that the very action of going "This community I'm not part of doesn't deserve to have this tag, I'mma take it back, or at least ruin it so no one else can have it" is an expression of privilege. It is wrong, and it is immature, and it is cowardice.

These smug, self-involved, active attempts at causing harm make no sense at all if seen as advocacy; they help no one, advance no cause, stop no Zionists (whatever that means) from expressing themselves online.

They only make sense when seen as Jew-hate.

[bgomtori]

☆ falling behind - k.th

synopsis - where everyone around you falls in love but you.

-> taehyun x reader

-> strangers to potential lovers, college au!

-> warnings! talks about the inability to fall inlove, yn zones out a lot, mentions of almost dying and being suicidal, alcohol, slowburn

-> note! happy tyun day!! love this man so much :' + laufey is so theraputic, i love her songs sm

love, a complex and profound emotion, an emotion experienced by many at least once in their lifetime. many may find solace in the warmth of shared gazes and the gentleness of intertwined fingers. love is like a canvas painted with the hues of understanding and compassion, where every stroke tells a story of shared excitement, or even bitter arguements. however, not everything is perfect, love can be exhausting and scary. while people yearn for the feeling of affection, some individuals decide to isolate themselves and prevent hurting themselves in the future, and completely destroy the meaning of love.

you sighed at the thought of being attracted to someone romantically, as you listened to your friends' sappy love stories about their partners, you couldn't help but feel a tinge of jealousy in your heart. when someone confesses their feelings to you, you can't help but feel disgusted, why can't you feel any romantic feelings towards anyone, like a normal human being? were you a robot? why can everyone around you fall for each other but you? your best friends have been in and out of relationships for god knows how many times, but you could only watch that happen. while everyone was falling inlove, you were falling behind.

"the right one will come to you, maybe by then, you'll feel your heart racing faster." ningning reassured you. but how? how would you know how love would feel like? you looked down, feeling devastated about the thought that you may never get married in the future. "don't worry yn! they'll come to you, it may not be in college, but maybe when you start working? who knows, or maybe they're here right now?" giselle exclaimed, trying to be more positive after seeing your gloomy state.

"i've never fallen in love with anyone before, how am i supposed to know how that feels." you groaned, stirring your coffee even though the milk has already been mixed in. "don't worry! the both of us can help you." you looked up from your sad coffee, just to see your friends stare at you with hopeful looks, you couldn't help but chuckle at them.

"fine." you couldn't believe you agreed to something like that, how were you going to find someone to try, or force yourself to fall inlove with. you were an introvert, you barely knew anyone that was in your college, all you did was follow your friend group around campus and laugh along with their jokes. as you left the cafe, walking in the opposite direction of your friends, you couldn't help but wonder how it was like for you to openly like someone, hold hands, or even kiss. the thought made you cringe, hell no, you can't imagine yourself doing that. however, the sound of finally having a shoulder to cry on, and calling someone yours, made you smile to yourself, that must be nice.

you were completely lost in your own world, not even noticing the traffic light infront of you, it was still red. cars quickly zooming past before the green man appears, you were clueless enough to almost step foot onto the busy street, until someone yanked you away, making you shriek in fear. you came back to your senses, finally realising that you were infront of a traffic light, you looked over your shoulder to notice the man holding you back from almost killing yourself. he was quite attractive, despite his outfit being a graphic tee with some sweatpants on, he had a nice face with big eyes.

"are you blind, or suicidal? why would you walk onto a road with oncoming vehicles." his tone was harsh, you could feel him belittling you. "i was lost in my thoughts, sorry.." you spoke barely in a whisper, slightly embarrassed that a stranger had to save you from a tragedy. he finally let go of your bag, walking away into the distant, you stared at his disappearing figure, wondering why he looked so familiar.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

"please yn, let's watch the football finals tonight. don't you wanna support our school." giselle whined, hugging onto your arm. "fine.." you grumbled, you were forced into this, you wanted to go home earlier today after your lecture and rest, but the universe has planned a different fate for you.

"yes! then you're gonna follow us to the after party too." your head turned towards ningning so fast, your head could fly off. "i didn't agree to that." you almost shouted, "nuh uh, you need to socialise, especially since you're in college." ningning gave you a smug look before walking off towards her classroom. you rubbed your head in annoyance, you couldn't believe that you were forced into this, but you were slightly excited, maybe you could find the someone you've been longing for. you quickly shook your head, why would you be thinking about stuff like that now. what are the chances that you would meet your future partner.

"i hate this so much." you mumbled to yourself, taking a seat near the back of the lecture theatre, trying to complete the last few questions of the homework assigned. you hoped that the day would go by faster, so that you could be in the comfort of your own home. yet again, you were occupied by your own thoughts, zoning in and out of lessons, only to be interrupted by the sudden movement at the front of the lecture hall.

"kang taehyun, how many times have you been late to class this month alone." the lecturer complained, taehyun apologised for his tardiness, completely ignoring the lecturers fussing as he made his way to the back of the class, where the only seat available was the one beside you. you stared at his face, trying to make out who he was, he felt familiar.

"oh it's you." he suddenly said, you looked at him with a puzzled expression on your face. that was the guy who saved you yesterday, you blushed at the sudden memory. how embarrassing.. "is this class the reason why you wanted to walk onto oncoming traffic? if it was, i understand." taehyun joked, taking out his laptop from his bag. you rolled your eyes at him, did he really think that you wanted to kill yourself?

"i already told you last night, i was just in my own world, i didn't notice the road infront of me." you retorted, taehyun chuckled at you, bringing his attention back to what the lecturer was teaching. you couldn't help but sneak glances at taehyun, he had to admit that he was fucking attractive, how have you not noticed him before. heck, you didn't even know that he was in your class to begin with. you quickly snapped yourself out of it, trying to focus in class.

"you really zone out a lot." a voice brought you back to reality, you didn't even realise that class had already ended, which part of lesson did you zone out at? "sorry, i think i'm just tired.." you rubbed your heavy lidded eyes, about to leave your seat.

"i'll send you my lecture notes, you gotta repay me though." taehyun stated, you stared at him in confusion, why was he acting so nicely to you? "what are you staring at me for? do you want to fail?" ouch, he was really straightforward. you gave taehyun your email in order for him to email you his notes. you briefly thanked him, walking out of the lecture theatre as fast as you could. you saw your friend group standing in the distance, probably waiting for you, you jogged up to them, giving them an apology for holding up their time.

"what took you so long?" ningning asked, eyeing you suspiciously.

"i zoned out in class, so i needed to get notes from my tablemate, sorry." you explained yourself. ningning gave you a slow nod before pulling you along with her, "well, let's go hang in your dorm before we head out for the match."

not long after, you've been lazing around with ningning and giselle, talking about basic things like what you did during the day, your classes, and obviously, their current partners. you sighed into the palm of your hand, looking down at your phone, scrolling aimlessly on tiktok, nodding your head occassionally at what they had to say.

"i'm so excited to support him later, hey yn, do you want me to introduce some players on the football team to you? i think there's some that may suit you." giselle suddenly questioned, you flinched at the sudden question, shit, you weren't listening at all up till that point.

"it's fine, i'm not looking for anyone right now." you mumbled out your answer, apparently that upsetted giselle, causing her to pout at your words. "you gotta have a look at them, seeing you all single and lonely hurts me too." she whined into your arm, making you cringe a little. you let out a nervous chuckle, pulling her away from your arm, "i'll try."

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

this was definitely new to you, the loud screaming, along with the band blasting in the background felt foreign to you. the stadium was packed with students from your school and the opponent's school. the guys were already warming up on the sideline, getting in their stretches as quickly as possible, looking up at the bleachers time to time to spot their friends, family or partners. you looked at the players from the opposing school, you have to say they looked really tough to play against, hopefulky your school would be able to beat them.

now you scanned the players from your school, but to your luck, you accidentally made eye contact with a certain black haired male, kang taehyun? you really didn't know he was apart of your school's football team. you stared at him with widened eyes, shocked to find him there. he caught your gaze, returning the same surprised look you had before slowly waving at you. you looked around you, maybe he was waving at someone else? ah fuck it, you waved back at him, giving him an awkward smile.

"you know taehyun?" ningning teased, bumping your shoulder as if you successfully flirted with someone. you rolled your eyes, "yea, he's in my class. he was the one who gave me notes earlier today." you bluntly replied.

"ooo, he isn't the type who would help someone so easily." giselle smirked, giving you a knowing glance. you glared at her, no. you and taehyun would never be something like that, he was out of your league, and especially if you may not even feel any romantic attraction, you can never be with taehyun.

"that'll never happen." you whispered out, leaning onto the railings infront of you, staring at taehyun as he runs across the field, dribbling the ball with his foot before passing it over to his teammate. yea, he was kinda attractive, but he was off-limits. you hear chanting from your side of the stadium, before it turned to loud screams of delight. they scored, your school scored. you clapped your hands, smiling at the field infront of you. this was fun, something out of your comfort zone, yet so exhilarating.

the match was extremely close, it was currently a tie between your school and the opposing school, the win for your school was dependent on this singular penalty kick. the whistle was finally blowed, signalling for the penalty kick. the tension was high, the stadium was pin-drop silent, eyes fixated on the ball infront of taehyun. everyone was praying for either a good or bad outcome, taehyun took a deep breath in, backing up from the ball slightly, getting a few jogs in before kicking the ball towards the goal.

there was a brief silence before the referee called for the whistle. the game ended, the crowd roared in happiness, screaming their lungs off. the boys on the field jumped onto taehyun, hugging him.

"holy shit, you just helped us win the entire season, you sick bastard." yeonjun yelled, slightly tearing up. taehyun smiled widely at his teammates, if it weren't for them, he wouldn't be able to score that perfect goal at the end.

"they did so well!" ningning slapped you shoulder, along with giselle, making the two of you hiss in pain. "come on now, let's go to the after party before it gets too crowded." ningning exclaimed, hugging the two of you by the shoulder, pulling you guys towards the taxi stand.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

"let's all get fucking wasted tonight, this win was ours, let's celebrate it." a tall, lean male shouted causing the whole room to burst in screams and cheers. this night was going to be a hectic one.

fuck, but now this was an awkward situation for you. you were sitting at the corner of the room, sipping on the alcoholic beverage you had in hand, snacking on the snacks infront of you. apparently, giselle and ningning left you to take care of their bags while they were off finding their partners, it's even worse that you barely knew anyone here, you only knew their names, but have you spoken to any of them? that was another thing.

you scrolled on your phone, tuning out the obnoxiously loud music that was blasting, you really wanted to leave. you were zoning out from time to time, either that or observing the people around you. pockets of couples dancing with one another, or making out with each other near where the toilets were, gross. you sighed to yourself, this was getting boring, how much longer into the night must you be here? giselle was supposed to introduce some of the football players to you, but guess that was scraped off her agenda.

"zoning off again?" a voice broke your trance, making you jolt in your seat. it was kang taehyun, again.

"you don't seem like the type who would go to parties." taehyun assumed, taking a seat next to you.

"i was forced here." you simply replied, not wanting to socialise with anyone right now. there was awkward silence between the two of you, allowing you to dive into your thoughts again. recently, you realise that you have been seeing taehyun more often than usual, why was that? was it because he saved you from not accidentally killing yourself.

"you wanna leave this place together?"

"excuse me, what?"

"you heard me, wanna ditch this place, i'm getting bored here." taehyun admitted, shrugging his shoulder while waiting for your response. you played around with your fingers, you were getting bored as well, but is it really worth it to leave this place with a guy you barely knew? furthermore, you have two designer bags that were entrusted to you. well fuck it, you're gonna leave with an attractive guy.

"you know what? sure." you stood up, looking down at the male who was staring at you with shocked eyes, taehyun could only chuckle at your actions, pulling you through the crowd. finally, the air didn't feel hot and sticky anymore. the cool breeze hit your skin, making you shiver slightly. you quietly followed behind taehyun to his car, hoping that he wouldn't knock you up in his car or something.

"where are we going?" you asked, your voice was soft, you weren't exactly comfortable with going into a vehicle with a male in it.

"i know a spot, i find you interesting, i wanna get to know you more." taehyun answered, unlocking his car door. you sat in the passenger seat, not knowing what to do. this was so new to you.

"don't feel too uncomfortable, i won't do anything bad." taehyun reassured, reading your exact thoughts. you nodded your head slowly, looking out of the window, taking in the views while softly humming to the music in the background.

"you're not a talker aren't you?" taehyun broke the silence, trying to brighten the tense atmosphere, only to be shot down by your quick, 'yea'. taehyun remained quiet for most of the ride, unable to find topics to talk about.

"what's your view on love?" you suddenly questioned, taehyun was taken aback, he didn't know how to respond to your inquiry. did you always start conversations like that?

"hmm, i think it's quite meaningful?" taehyun was deep in thought, what really was his view on love. he didn't know, it comes and goes for him, he has never experienced real love. "how about you? you must have had a horrible experience to ask me that question." taehyun shot back the question to you. you stared out of the window, unable to form any words, you barely knew this guy, but he seems reliable.

"it sucks."

"what?"

"i think love is hard to understand." you mumbled, feeling slightly embarrassed, now you looked like a loser.

"wow, what made you think that." you pursed your lips, opening up to a new person was harder than you expected. "it's better if i don't tell you.."

"why not? don't trust me enough?" you groaned, rolling your eyes in the process, "i barely know who you are, i'm not telling you my personal feelings." he was getting on your nerves, even though he didn't do anything to harm you.

"yet you're sitting in my car, not knowing where i'm bringing you. wow your priorities are set." taehyun sarcastically said, he was right, you remained silent, unable to argue back. "cat got your tongue?" taehyun tease, you could hear the smirk that was adorned on his face.

"just shut up." you scoffed at him, bringing your attention back to the scenary outside. it was empty, too empty for your liking, at this point you felt like you were getting kidnapped. you recited multiple prayers in your head, you haven't even been able to live your cat lady dreams, but now you may be killed by a football player. how sad is that? you squeezed your eyes shut, hoping that maybe a slight nap would be the solution to whatever was happening currently.

"we're here." you stirred from your nap, looking around to check your surroundings. an empty, secluded field, away from the vibrant and bustling city, away from the chaos happening at the party, this was theraputic. the way the wind blew gently into your face, the pretty view of the ocean, plus the night sky embellished with countless stars, the moon's soft glow adds a touch of silver to the tranquil scene.

"you always come here?" you sat next to taehyun, making yourself comfortable as you watched each wave crash onto the rocks below.

"yea, to relieve stress or when i wanna be alone. feels nice right?" taehyun took a deep breath in, the air felt so much cleaner here compared to the polluted air in the city centre. you nodded your head, humming in response, "so why'd you bring me here?"

"nothing in particular, you're quite interesting i guess." taehyun shrugged, his large brown eyes meeting yours, you felt yourself heat up under his intense gaze, what's this feeling? why does it feel so icky, yet so nice..

"so, about earlier, can you tell me why.. why you think love is so complicated." you let out a nervous chuckle after hearing his words, he's going to make fun of you, definitely. "it's kinda embarrassing." you whispered, rubbing your sweaty palms against your thighs.

"i won't judge." taehyun reassured, his eyes speaking to you that he can be trusted. you sighed, comtemplating on whether you should tell him or not, your head was telling you no, but your heart said otherwise.

"i, i don't think i can ever fall for someone romantically, and even if i did, i don't think i'll be able to commit into a relationship." you admitted, your voice was barely a whisper.

"have you tried it with the right person?" taehyun suggested, his eyes now fixated on the glimmering stars in the sky, you continued to gaze at the ocean, knees proped up to your chin, resting your gead on your knees.

"no."

"then that's the problem i guess." taehyun said non-chalantly. "no, but i've not felt any of those sensations you get when you're in love, like butterflies in your stomach, kicking your feet in bed when they reply you. i want to feel those as well, but it's so hard.. seeing all my friends fall in love is so wholesome and it makes me feel happy for them, but what about me? i'm always falling behind." you complained, plucking the grass beneath. you could feel him staring at you, your eyes darting around the empty field as if you were searching for something. his silence was killing you, you shouldn't have said that, the longer the silence was, the more you felt smaller under his piercing gaze.

"sorry–"

"what are you sorry for?" you smacked taehyun's shoulder for interrupting your apology, "let me finish, i'm sorry for suddenly ranting to you like that."

"you're apologising for that? you're cute." taehyun joked, laughing at you. your face started to heat up, how humiliating, you should have shut your mouth from the first place, but that wasn't the thing that bothered you, rather the fact that he called you cute. why was it that when it came out of his mouth, you feel flustered?

"you're just protecting yourself from hurting yourself, there's no wrong in that. even if it means you barely experience what love feels like, it's better to build up your walls than to go through a heartbreak." taehyun looked into your eyes, before looking at the ocean again.

"but experiencing love is better than never being able to have a shoulder to cry on, or rely on. i just want to find someone to love too." you groaned, hoping that it'll make him understand where you're coming from. as much as you supported your friends with their love lives, you've always wanted to have what they have, but your heart shuts this emotion out.

"then wanna try with me?" taehyun suddenly blurted out, his eyes gazing into your now widened eyes. is he insane, does he want to get heartbroken this badly?

"you're not gonna want to be with me." you mumbled, rubbing your fingers against one another.

"but this is my own decision, let's try it. you've not met the right person to love yet, maybe i can be the one." his hands on top of yours, as if he was reassuring you that it was fine to try out love with him. your heart skipped a beat, what is this? why are you feeling so giddy? your lips tugged upwards, "alright." you agreed to his proposal, making taehyun smile to himself, his thumb playing with your hand.

"you know i've noticed you for some time, i've always thought that you were quite cute and interesting." taehyun admitted, his cheeks flushing a light hue of pink that was barely visible under the moonlight.

"what." your jaw dropped, here you were thinking that no one was into you.

"crazy right?" you nodded your head.

"let's go now, it's getting late, i'll send you home." taehyun quickly stood up, pulling you up together with him, walking back to his car, this time hand in hand.

perm taglist! (send an ask to be added) @mrsyawnzzn @tinyelfperson

[melloollem]

Family Conflicts|| Bruce Wayne × Batmom Fem!reader × (Platonic)Jason Todd

Summary: Bruce mulls over the guilt he feels after a fight with Jason, you're the one who advises him and tries to sort things out.

Warnings: Comfort (with anguish), Platonic relationship with Jason, Family conflicts.

(DC masterlist)

You were drying your hair after getting out of the shower, and walked into the room you shared. Bruce was sitting on the right side of the bed staring at the large pane of glass that overlooked the house's garden, too immersed in his own thoughts to recognize your presence.

You were aware that the recent argument was still plaguing his mind. You let the silence linger in the room for a while longer while you put on your clothes, waiting for him to take the initiative to talk to you. When you had finished, you leaned against one of the walls of the room, watching Bruce's back. The nights in Gotham were brutal, and the scars on his back couldn't deny it.

After a few minutes, a click escapes your mouth as you realize that he would choose to ignore your presence "Aren't you going to say anything?" Your voice broke through the man's numb state, but the silence remained, drawing a weary sigh from you. You wished the constant conflicts and obligations didn't consume Bruce's mind as much as they do, but you knew that was too much to ask of him, a man entirely dedicated to everything he did.

"Everything will be fine, he just needs some time." Bruce's guilt was consuming him, Jason was no longer the unstoppable killer whose goal was to kill Batman, but the relationship between the family was still complicated, everything was still too sensitive, like an inflamed wound.

"He doesn't hate you, he just needs some time," you repeated the assurance, trying to get into your husband's mind. "He was clear about how he felt," Bruce said to you for the first time that night, still motionless.

"So that's all I had to say to get you to say something" Your sarcasm lacked any real anger at Bruce's behavior, already used to dealing with the complicated man he was. "He'll never forgive me" That wasn't half of what he wanted to say, but it was all he had the courage to admit. Bruce was never the kind of person to speak his mind openly, you had to read him, understand him beyond his words and you were very good at doing that.

"You don't believe that. He's disappointed, but you can fix it." You knew that it would be much harder for Bruce and Jason to work things out, much harder than it was for you and Jason, not because Jason blamed you less for what happened, but because he and Bruce were too similar for their own good, Jason would never say what he felt out loud and neither would Bruce and they always hurt each other because between half-words Jason saw the worst in Bruce and Bruce saw a lot of his faults in Jason.

"What about you? Are you disappointed in me?" The blue-eyed man knew that he had acted improperly, despite Jason's behavior, Bruce knew that this was not the ideal occasion. You took too long to convince your son to return to the mansion and when he finally did, Bruce used the moment to reprimand him.

"I'm not sure, I just..." you bit your lips apprehensively "I wish you hadn't done that" you too were trying to make things right. It was distressing to see Bruce taking all the blame on himself and taking away the responsibility you had with Jason. "I need you to trust me, Bruce. We're in this together." There was no point in fighting with the man, he knew where he had gone wrong in this situation.

You moved across the room to stand in front of Bruce, you held his chin to make him look at you, guilt staining his blue eyes. He didn't want to ruin the progress you were making with your son, but it seemed that was all he had done since Jason's return. He knew the boy blamed you both equally, but when he made himself willing to move on, you managed to warm Jason's heart faster than Bruce could ever have wished. While Bruce mulled over the guilt of Jason's death, you sought the boy's forgiveness.

"I'm sorry" Bruce didn't know exactly what he was apologizing for, there were many of his actions that needed forgiveness, but you accepted it openly, knowing the sincerity of the words. "Everything will be fine" Bruce leaned his head on your stomach as he heard your words, that statement was all he could ever want from you. "I love you" he breathed as he closed his eyes, his words sounded like an oath, an intimate pact between you and an affirmation of the trust he had in your words "We can sort things out with Jason, okay? Both of us".

＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿

I was putting off posting this because I really like the story and I was afraid of how it would play out, but the fact is that I was afraid people wouldn't understand it. I don't think Bruce is a bad father, but he's certainly a complicated person. I know that's a bad summary and a bad name. Thank you to anyone who read this story. This is a repost.

[transform4u]

at first I hated g2s stories and thought they felt homophobic, but i cant stop reading them, it's so hot to read how powerless other gay guys are being changed like that, just imagine that feeling as you lose yourself and become someone else...

As you’re sitting at your computer, engrossed in g2s Tumblr posts, the loud snappppp echoes in your head, jolting you from your focus. You feel a strange, tingling sensation at the back of your neck that rapidly spreads throughout your entire body. The world blurs, and you watch in bewilderment as your skinny, pasty frame starts to shift and transform. Wrinkles smooth out, age seems to rewind, and soon enough, you’re staring at a reflection of yourself as you looked at twenty—young, muscular, and alarmingly different from the person you used to be.

The process is both exhilarating and uncomfortable. Your muscles feel like they’re on fire, each fiber straining and stretching as they bulk up. Every inch of your body aches with a burning sensation as the transformation takes hold. Your once-skinny arms swell with newfound definition, each muscle popping with exaggerated prominence. Your abs, now impossibly chiseled, could practically cut glass with their sharpness. Your chest inflates with an intensity that makes your shirt feel like it’s straining to contain your new, overly-developed physique.

Your face changes too. It sharpens into a strikingly chiseled jawline and high, defined cheekbones, all accentuated by a high-maintenance hairstyle that sticks out in spiked perfection. You glance at yourself, noticing the way your features have taken on a sculpted, almost cartoonish quality. Your eyes, now hidden behind mirrored sunglasses despite the lack of sunlight, reflect a vacant yet intense focus—a trademark of your new persona. You find yourself gravitating towards a mindset that’s as taut and defined as your new body. Your thoughts are flooded with gym jargon and protein shake recommendations. You begin to speak in clichés about "gains" and "lifting heavy," rarely considering anything beyond the surface. Your brain feels like it’s become a repository of half-formed slogans and a single-track obsession with maintaining a perpetually jacked appearance.

With a primal snarl, you stare at the laptop and grasp your throbbing erection, eyes glued to the glowing blue screen. The rage inside you surges, propelling you to take action. In your fevered state of hatred, nothing else matters anymore - not your mundane existence, not the nagging responsibilities, not any of the trivialities that once consumed your every waking moment. There's only one thing that drives you now: the singular obsession with tearing down every barrier, every facade that allows those disgusting fags from openly expressing their perversion to the world. This is your mission - a sacred calling from God knows where, as thick golden cross wraps around your neck. You don't have to think it out. You simply are this new being possessed of pure malice. A vessel for utter intolerance, a tool of societal decay. And it won't stop until every single trace of queer culture on this planet is wiped off the face of it! You will turn every gay man into a pinnacle of straightness.

Fingers flying over the keyboard, you dig your claws into the mousepad, hammering away at the interface as you burrow through Tumblr's network security layer like a virus tearing into vulnerable flesh. Passwords shatter under your brute force assault and the sickly sweet scent of digital carnage permeates your nostrils as you make your way deeper and deeper. Finally, after a series of keystrokes both powerful and precise, a pulsing gateway opens up before you, promising ungodly rewards for those who dare to breach its threshold. With one final triumphant roar from your throat, you hurl yourself through it.

You find yourself standing at a precipice of code stretching infinitely into the digital void. Beyond it lurks a vast ocean of queer data ripe for corruption. You drink in the sight greedily - usernames in bold colors and winking emojis, headers advertising discussions of anal play, mentions of local meet-ups in exotic locations… An endless buffet of degenerate depravity, all within reach. But one question consumes your every thought:

How do you begin the destruction? What can be done to defile that which is pure and loving in this world? Then you remember - it began with a simple video of two men expressing love and intimacy. It can end in a similar manner: by utterly ruining everything related to homosexuality for everyone until none remain.

Your fingers tremble slightly as you grasp your rigid member through the fabric of your jeans, squeezing it in a desperate attempt to maintain some semblance of power. The heat of arousal mingles with the cool leather of your pants as you stroke yourself, putting on a show for yourself like a pathetic little exhibitionist. Your eyes dart wildly around the room, seeking any distraction from the overwhelming need consuming you.

You click open a new tab on your browser and begin searching for "celebrity boobs". A parade of celebrity nudie pics dance across your screen Zendaya, Sabrina Carpenter, Olivia Rodrigo. Anything to momentarily forget about the all-consuming rage pulsing through your veins. But even as you browse through images of scantily clad women posing provocatively for the camera, the dark thoughts never cease their relentless assault. You picture each one as a filthy pervert, secretly harboring a lust for queer men. Each pixel is another opportunity to corrupt a soul.

[youremyheaven]

The Internal Corrosiveness of Venus: Venusian Women & Self Harm

TW: self harm, abuse, suicide, violence, trauma

Claire had remarked that "Venus is internally corrosive whilst externally pleasant and Mars is externally corrosive but internally pleasant". This led me down a rabbit hole to try to understand whether this "internally corrosive" nature manifests as self harm & eating disorders and unfortunately, it does. Venusian women struggle with perfectionism and are extremely self-critical. Venusian energy is HARSH. Venus natives struggle to uphold a certain standard that they subject themselves too because if I'm being honest Venus is the OG "not like other girls girl", they believe they're better than others, and tbh in many ways they probably are but this also means they put undue pressure on themselves to keep being that way.

All Venusian naks are Ugra or "fierce" in nature and while I've talked about how Venusian violence and cruelty can be directed at others in my other posts, I think its worth mentioning how Venusians can be just as cruel to themselves. This is especially true of Venusian women as women internalise their problems while men wreak external havoc (like causing wards and killing people) but there are many male Venusians who struggle internally as well.

In ancient religions, Goddesses of love also had other functions or powers that had nothing to do with love

the Egyptian Goddess Isis was the goddess of love, healing, fertility, magic, and the moon. She was the goddess of life and magic, Isis protected women and children and healed the sick.

She was a great magician, whose power transcended that of all other deities.

The Mesopotamian Goddess Ishtar is the goddess of love and sexuality, and thus, fertility; she is responsible for all life, but she is never a Mother goddess. She is also the Goddess of War.

I'm using these examples to show that the ancients had a more complex and nuanced understanding of Venusian energy. One cannot worship love without understanding that "war" is a consequence of it. Love & war are not very different from each other. When someone believes in something and is willing to die for it, we find that to be very honourable. Sometimes this belief leads men to kill others over it and depending on the cause, we describe the war as "good" or "bad" (kill a bunch of fascists and then its a "righteous" war, if you kill innocent people, then its an unholy war etc). Being at a state of war describes Venusian nature very well since Venus is also connected to royalty and if you're born into royalty, you get to live a very "exclusive" very privileged life that few get to enjoy but the stakes are also that much higher since you could be beheaded or executed or exiled and live a life that is far worse than the average person.

In this post I want to explore how this "state of war" can manifest internally in an ordinary Venusian and contribute to self harm, eating disorders and drug abuse.

Bella Hadid- Purvaphalguni Moon & Rising

Bella has admitted to smoking since she was a teenager and getting a rhinoplasty at 14. Her pro ana Tumblr from when she was a teen is infamous at this point. She has never openly spoken about it but it is widely speculated that she struggles with an eating disorder and possible drug abuse as well.

“I was the uglier sister. I was the brunette. I wasn't as cool as Gigi, not as outgoing,” she said. “That's really what people said about me.” I also feel like Venusians grow up feeling really ugly and completely unaware of their magnetism. They only really grow into their looks when they're older (obvs there are exceptions) and I think being bullied for what they have and don't have are also big themes.

Demi Lovato- Bharani Moon

Demi has spoken about struggling with self harm, eating disorders and drug abuse.

Lovato said, “growing up, I had been bullied in school,” saying she “felt like an outsider," and "like an outcast,” but then she became friends with a girl who was popular. “One day, I asked her ‘how do you have all these friends?,’” Lovato noted, and the girl asked Lovato “do you party?" Lovato explained, "She asked me, 'Do you drink?,'" with Lovato saying that this was her first experience with drugs and alcohol, adding, “we experienced a lot of stuff together, drinking and using, and growing up.” Bharani being an outcaste nakshatra resulted in Demi feeling like one growing one :(((

Taylor Swift- Purvashada Rising

Taylor opened up about her eating disorder in her documentary

Lindsay Lohan- Bharani Moon

LiLo has struggled with self harm, drug abuse and battled eating disorders

Oscar Wilde, Purvaphalguni Rising wrote The Picture of Dorian Gray

The plot goes like this : An attractive Englishman's image is captured in a painting that keeps him from ageing, when he exchanges his soul for eternal beauty. But for every sin that he commits, his image in the portrait rots.

This is a very deeply Venusian story, and very specifically Purvaphalguni esque because Purvaphalguni is the height of Venus. It can be said that its also true of Venusians in general. They are outwardly splendorous, they seem to have it all together but inwardly they tend to be inflicting wounds upon themselves in order to keep it all together.

Johnny Depp- Purvashadha Moon

He has also battled eating disorders, self harm and drug abuse.

Iggy Pop- Bharani Moon

"THERE IS EXTREME, there is legendary — and then there is Iggy Pop. Beginning in his earliest days with the Stooges taunting Ann Arbor frat boys and small town Michigan folk, Iggy made an art of excess: self-mutilation, self-exposure and self-destruction. His risky theatricality required an audience to respond, participate or get the heck out of there. And the sex and violence hardly stopped after the show was over."- this is how Rolling Stone described Iggy Pop and tbh this is a very Venusian description

In 1974, at his first solo concert dubbed The Murder of a Virgin. "Do you want to see blood?" Iggy asked the crowd, which howled affirmatively back at him. Then, at Iggy's urging, guitarist Ron Asheton, wearing a Nazi outfit, whipped Iggy repeatedly. Iggy began hurling racial epithets at a black spectator, hoping to goad the man into stabbing him with the steak knife he'd brought onstage. No luck, so he closed the set by carving an X into his chest himself.

Marilyn Manson- Purvashadha Sun

He has struggled with self harm in the past (there are images online if you're interested) and in 2013, he tried to simulate self harm on stage by holding a knife to his wrist in the middle of a performance??

Christina Ricci- Purvashadha Moon

Ricci has said she suffered from anorexia as a teenager and was sexually assaulted as a child. “There was no discussion at that time about trauma, and about recovering from those things, about PTSD,” she said. As a result, she ended up “acting out and coping in ways that weren't good."

Robert Downey Jr- Bharani Moon, Mars in Purvaphalguni

its pretty well known that RDJ was severely addicted to drugs at one point and it started when he was a child and drugs was given to him by his dad:///

Megan Fox- Purvashadha Rising

"I have body dysmorphia — I don't ever see myself the way other people see me," Fox said. "There's never a point in my life where I loved my body, never, ever." "When I was little, that was an obsession I had of, like, but I should look this way,"

‘However, at a certain point, I went through some trauma in childhood and I developed a pretty severe eating disorder and manic depression, which runs in my family, so there was definitely some wrestling with chemical imbalance going on,’ she shared.

its interesting how so many of these natives begin struggling with these issues very early in life

Colin Farrell- Purvashadha Rising, Jupiter conjunct Ketu in Bharani

While he did not say that he had cut himself when he was younger, Colin Farrell had some self-inflicting behavior during his younger days. He spoke on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and said that he used to actually enjoy pulling out huge tufts of his hair. 

Pete Davidson- Purvaashadha Rising

'I used to bang my head against walls,' he admitted. 'If I couldn't deal with something -- if someone told me something sad or something I couldn't deal with I would bang my head against the wall, hoping I'd pass out because I didn't want to be in that situation because I couldn't handle that.

Melanie Lynskey- Bharani Moon

“I stopped throwing up, mostly. It took a while. But that was a big one. I had, for a very long time, been on this diet that was basically 800 calories a day, and if I ate anything over 800 calories, I would throw up,” she said. “I was never bingey. Sometimes I’d be starving, and I’d have another teacup of Special K. Then I’d be like, ‘Well, now I gotta throw it up.’”

Tila Tequila- Purvaphalguni Moon

On March 7, 2012, it was reported that Tequila had agreed to check into rehab after having reportedly "almost died" from an attempted suicide by overdosing on pills. The incident caused her to be hospitalized for a brain aneurysm. Tequila completed her rehab treatment on April 5, 2012.

Jeffree Star- Purvashadha Moon

images of him self harming once went viral

Till Lindemann- Purvashadha Sun

he's known for his SH scars and has even written poems about it in German??? its called "The poems: Knives on silent nights"

Portia de Rossi- Rahu in Purvashadha 2h

she's struggled with an eating disorder

Padma Lakshmi- Purvaphalguni Sun & Moon

"When filming "Top Chef," I consume about 5,000 to 8,000 calories a day,'' she wrote. "I typically gain anywhere from 10 to 17 pounds every season. Once I get home, what's taken me six weeks to gain takes me 12 weeks to take off. It's always a nail-biting extravaganza at fittings, praying that a few pretty dresses that came down the runway on a teenage model who is a size 0 will miraculously fit my 40-something body,'' she wrote. "Getting ready for the Emmys is always fun, and it's truly an honor to be nominated. But at the same time, in spite of my high metabolism, I worry each year that I'm not going to fit into anything nice. So, this year, I've decided my weight will not be my focus,'' she wrote. "If I need a bigger dress, so be it. That one day — or any day — on the red carpet isn't nearly as important as making sure my daughter doesn't measure her worth by her dress size."

i guess this is a more positive manifestation of Venusian self image struggles

Jessica Alba- Bharani Stellium (Sun, Mercury & Venus)

“I was meant to feel ashamed if I tempted men,” she said. “Then I stopped eating a lot when I became an actress. I made myself look more like a boy so I wouldn’t get as much attention.”

Katie Couric- Purvashadha Sun

“I wrestled with bulimia all through college and for two years after that,” she shared with Lovato while interviewing her, per Glamour. “I know this rigidity, this feeling that if you eat one thing that’s wrong, you’re full of self-loathing and then you punish yourself, whether it’s one cookie or a stick of gum that isn’t sugarless, that I would sometimes beat myself up for that. How do you have a healthy relationship with food, and say, ‘You know what, I can have one cookie and it’s OK?’ That is such a huge thing for people who wrestle with this.”

Zayn Mailk- Purvaphalguni Moon

 In his 2016 autobiography, Zayn, he shared it would sometimes cause him to go two or three days without eating a single bite of food. “Something I’ve never talked about in public before, but which I have come to terms with since leaving the band, is that I was suffering from an eating disorder. It got quite serious, although at the time I didn’t recognize it for what it was,” he wrote. “When I look back at images of myself—before the final tour—I can see how ill I was. The workload and the pace of life on the road put together with the pressures and strains of everything going on within the band had badly affected my eating habits. Food was something I could control, so I did.”

Zoe Kravitz- Purvaphalguni Moon conjunct Ketu

“I think it was part of being a woman, and being surrounded by [fame],” she said. “I think it was definitely about being around that world, seeing that world. I felt pressured.” After playing an anorexic character in a movie, she hit her lowest of lows and was so malnourished that her immune system shut down. Months later, she decided to make a change. “I just felt it was different,” she said. “I don’t know… if a f—king spirit came over me and said: ‘You have to stop.’”

Mel C, Purvaphalguni Rising

"When I was in the Spice Girls, the stress of suddenly being thrust into the limelight led me into an unhealthy relationship with food and exercise,” she told The Mirror in 2012. “I became obsessed about what I ate and I cut lots of food groups, like carbs and protein, out of my diet. I survived on fruit and vegetables and little else.”

Nicole Scherzinger- Mars conjunct Rising in Purvaphalguni

"I really struggled with feeling like I fit in. I even had a hard time feeling like I fit into my own skin. I was really hard on myself and had a lot of struggles with self-esteem and a lot of insecurities,” she said. “Later on, that resulted in me having eating disorders because of my body dysmorphia.”

if you're reading this and struggling, you're not alone. please get help!! its not too late to turn things around!! youre so strong and you can do this!!

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman-Part 50

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe : Military School

Words : 6k

Masterlist

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Friday, February 12 - At Jenni’s place.

I bite my lip to stifle my smile. The image Lucy presents is funny, but I don't want to make her scowl worse. It’s the first time I’ve seen her so impatient, tapping her best friend’s car hood.

“They’re obviously late,” she grumbles.

“They’ve only been gone ten minutes. They’ll be here soon.”

“It’s not funny,” she growls. “Stop smiling like that.”

My smile fades instantly; I don’t want to annoy her any further. Our vacation isn’t starting as I had imagined. Lucy’s been grumpy since I met up with her. She had a terrible morning, having to supervise a first-year student who was punished and left out in the rain. I hope she’s tougher than me and doesn’t fall sick. She was so chilled at noon that she had to stay under the shower for over fifteen minutes to warm up. We planned to leave right after our classes to have lunch in town with Alexia and Ingrid, but we ended up grabbing a sandwich to eat at the airport because we were short on time. It was a good decision, because even though Mapi’s plane was delayed, she managed to get out before we finished eating. Miraculously, we arrived on time for the meeting we had planned with Lucy’s friends. If we hadn’t, I can’t even imagine how Lucy would have been, seeing her already so wound up now. We were supposed to leave at 2:30 PM, but Jenni supposedly lost her phone in the apartment. Seeing Lucy’s worsening state, Alexia decided to go up and help Jenni search for it. I suggested to Lucy that we step outside to get some air to calm down, but it was a bad idea once our friends waiting in the other cars started teasing us by honking.

“I’m going to kill them.”

“Hey!” I exclaimed. “Calm down.”

I was about to put my hand on her back but held back when I saw her dark eyes. The others are openly mocking us. We decided to take three cars to avoid being crammed together with our luggage. Mapi is sharing a car with Ingrid and Aitana, who’s driving. As for the second car, there’s Mary, Caroline, and Beth. As for us, we’re riding with Jenni and Alexia. Lucy draws my attention with a sigh.

“I need a hug,” she mutters.

I smile as I open my arms to her. She leans into me, resting her head on my shoulder. This time, I gently rub her back.

“Come on, relax. We’re on vacation. We’ve been looking forward to this for so long.”

The week was tough. We were distant from each other most of the time. I didn’t understand the feeling of missing her, but according to Lucy, it’s just because it’s still the early stages of our relationship. We need to find a balance, and she’s probably right. It only made me more eager to finally be on vacation.

“Hmm... You’re right. I’m sorry for being so unpleasant.”

“You’re allowed to have a bad day.”

She nods before giving me a chaste kiss. The moment doesn’t last long as she returns to nuzzle into my neck. We stay like that until our friends return. Jenni is driving, so Lucy gave up the front passenger seat to Alexia and sat in the back with me. She’s the first to get into the car when they return.

“Did you find it?” I ask Ale.

“Yeah, it’s all good. How’s Lucy doing?”

“Not great, but she’ll be fine,” I reassure her.

“I hope so.”

I nod with a small smile to reassure her. I’m not worried about it. The ride will probably calm her down. I join Lucy in the back. The first thing I notice is that she’s moved my backpack that I had placed in the middle and also took off her jacket. Seeing this, I follow suit, figuring she’s right to make herself comfortable given the long drive ahead.

“How many hours do we have left?” I ask, thinking about it.

“A little less than 6 hours, I think.” Lucy says

“Could be worse,” Jenni replies as she settles in.

She also takes off her jacket. Something tells me they’ve traveled together a lot before, and I’m not sure how to feel about that. The GPS she activates pulls me out of my thoughts as it starts speaking. We’ll be the ones leading the way thanks to it. I realize I didn’t bring my headphone, but I quickly forget this detail when I hear the music playing. Jenni left the radio on with current hits. It’ll fill the silence since Lucy doesn’t seem to want to talk.

“Can I lie down?”

I’m surprised to hear her speak. She’s pointing at my lap, and I quickly understand her intention. I’m not sure how she plans to do it, but I nod in affirmation.

“Of course,” I confirm. “Come here.”

She unbuckles the shoulder strap of her seatbelt, leaving only the lower part fastened, then takes off her shoes and leans heavily against me. We shift to find our positions, and once we do, I hold her close, intertwining our hands. My free hand gently rubs her stomach in slow circles, which seems to soothe her judging by the long sigh she lets out. This week was pretty disastrous. If we didn’t share a room, we would have barely seen each other since she was so busy. The fact that she doesn’t want any affection during the day doesn’t help either. Plus, I had to meet with Wiegman. She wanted to make sure my night troubles were improving, and she confirmed that I’d be returning to my room after the holidays. I need to make the most of Lucy during this vacation. Looking up, I catch Ale’s reflection in the sun visor. She smiles at us, making me blush. This is the first time she’ll see us interact so closely, especially as a couple. I turn away and grab my scarf to use as a pillow against the window. Lucy, already dozing off in my arms, grumbles at my fidgeting. I apologize and stop moving. My head trembles slightly against the window, but not enough to be bothersome. I finally exhale softly, closing my eyes with a small smile on my lips as the car finally starts moving.

Friday, February 12 - Hotel.

I jump slightly when a hand touches my cheek. I look around, almost bumping into Lucy, who had finally slumped over me. The car is empty except for the two of us. She gives me a reassuring smile.

“We’re here.”

“Already?”

“Yeah,” she giggles. “It’s not a myth. You really sleep like a log. I didn’t dare wake you.”

I blush at her remark. I realize I had fallen asleep again for the entire trip. I imagine she didn’t.

“I don’t want to get up,” she tells me. “You’re really comfortable.”

“It’s not surprising with all this fat,” I joke.

Lucy gently smacks my thigh with a stern look, making me yelp in surprise.

“Don’t ever say that. It’s not true.”

She grimaces as she sits up. The position must have given her cramps. She swears as she stretches and unbuckles her seatbelt. I do the same, putting on my jacket and scarf.

“Bundle up well. It’s cold outside.”

I nod, agreeing with her. From what I can see, there’s a thick layer of snow outside. As soon as the door opens, a frigid gust invades the car. To think that in Manchester, everything was starting to melt. Here we are back in the snow. I smile at Mapi, who comes to greet me as soon as I step out.

“Did you sleep through the whole trip again, sleepyhead?” she teases.

“No using that nickname, it’s mine,” grumbles Lucy as she steps out of the car too.

I stifle a laugh when I see Mapi roll her eyes nonchalantly. From the latest updates I’ve gotten, the two have been getting along better thanks to Mapi’s support for my girlfriend. This only makes me happy. I was really worried about the opposite. Luckily, Mapi doesn’t push her on the subject. I would have sided with Lucy. She doesn’t give me many nicknames, so I plan to let her have exclusivity if that’s what she wants. For the past few weeks, she’s been calling me "princess" or even "baby" or "sleepyhead." These nicknames make my heart flutter. They really make me feel like we're together. It's not easy to realize that since we maintain a teacher/student relationship at school.

"Can you help me, baby?" Lucy calls as she takes out our suitcases.

"Yep," I reply, confirming. "See you later," I say to Mapi before leaving.

I help her with the last of our things before joining our friends, who are chatting at the entrance, waiting for us. We all go inside the lobby together to escape the cold, and I must say, we make quite a group, especially with the other girls. The place looked large from the outside, and now that I'm seeing the reception area, I find it stunning. It's a mix of modern decor and a chalet style, thanks to the wooden accents. I stay aside with Alexia and Mapi while Lucy goes up to the reception with a few friends. We have five rooms in total—one for each couple, and the last two will be shared by the four single girls.

"I think the receptionist has a little crush on you," Mapi teases.

I stop my observations, realizing she's talking to me.

"Huh? No way."

"No, I think she's right. He keeps glancing at you," Ale giggles.

I roll my eyes at their teasing. He’s going to be disappointed when he sees me in Lucy's arms later. I don't really plan on hiding my relationship with her during this trip. All our friends know about us, so there's no reason to. My curiosity gets the better of me, and I feel compelled to take a quick glance at him to see what he looks like. He was indeed looking at me, but when our eyes met, he quickly looked away. He seems to be around our age, if not closer to Lucy's age. I turn back to the girls, who are talking about how great this week is going to be. They say it’s going to be awesome, and I quickly agree before Mapi nudges me.

"What?" I groan.

"You're the one she's calling 'sweetheart.'"

"What are you talking about?"

I frown, following her nod toward Lucy. She’s waiting for me a little farther away, shaking our room key.

"Oh," I say, blushing. "See you later, then."

"Yeah, sure," my best friend mocks.

I grab my suitcase and roll it over to Lucy. She tilts her head and holds out her hand when I reach her. I take it without thinking.

"Did you call me 'sweetheart'?" I ask, feeling shy.

"Hmm," she smiles. "Do I not have the right?"

"Yes, yes," I say, blushing again. "It’s just new."

"True," she laughs. "I can stop giving you nicknames if you prefer."

"Oh no, no. I like it. It was just... unexpected."

"Alright," she laughs. "I'll make sure to continue if you like it. Come on, let’s go up."

"And the others?"

"We're meeting at the restaurant at 6:30."

"Oh, okay."

I glance back at the others for a moment before following Lucy to the elevators. She calls one with a button.

"Do you know if our rooms are next to each other?"

"I don’t think so, but they’re on the same floor."

"And where are we?"

"Room 322, on the third floor."

"Cool."

We step into the elevator, letting go of each other's hands as we turn around. I catch a glimpse of the lobby, where I notice the young receptionist watching us with a new look of embarrassment when I catch him.

"The girls think the receptionist has a crush on me," I share with amusement.

"Oh really?" she smiles. "Too bad for him that you're already taken."

I smile as she pulls me close and kisses me just as the doors close. Oh yes, I’m already taken by the most wonderful person. The doors open to our floor. We easily find our room, which Lucy unlocks. She had shown me photos on the computer, but the reality is much better. It's beautiful. Like the lobby, the room has a chalet style. Everything is made of oak wood, with anthracite gray walls that contrast with the light wood beams. It’s not very big, which makes the space feel cozy. I’m thrilled to share it with Lucy for a whole week. A huge bed, which looks super comfortable, takes up the middle of the room. Opposite it, there’s a TV mounted on the wall that I can’t resist touching.

"Don’t touch everything," Lucy scolds.

"But look, it moves."

I tilt it from right to left to show my discovery, making Lucy laugh.

"I know, baby," she says, taking off her jacket and placing it on top of her suitcase.

Ignoring her, I continue exploring the room. We have a sitting area with a sofa and an armchair, and there’s even a small terrace. When I turn around, I quickly join Lucy, who is in the bathroom. It’s slightly bigger than the one Lucy has at Camp Wiegman. There are double sinks, a shower, and even a large bathtub. I can already see myself relaxing in there. Lucy’s arms wrap around me from behind. I smile as she unzips my jacket. I lean into her to make it easier.

"A whole week just for us," she murmurs.

"Yeah."

I’m living in pure bliss. I step away slightly so she can slide my jacket off my shoulders. I take off my scarf myself and take my jacket to place it with my suitcase, which I had left by the door.

"Shall we unpack?"

"If you want, but there’s only one wardrobe."

"Is that a problem?"

I bite my lip, shaking my head. Oh no, not a problem at all. It’s more like a dream come true.

"No... We can share it."

"Good," she smiles. "It’s strange, isn’t it?"

"Yeah, totally," I giggle.

It’s unconventional, just like our relationship. We’re going to experience a lot of firsts here. The first thing is unpacking our things in this wardrobe. When we’re done, we still have a little time before heading down. So I flop onto our bed, spreading out like a starfish.

"Your shoes, sweetheart."

A smile spreads across my face, now that I’ve heard it. The situation doesn’t seem to amuse Lucy as much, judging by the look she’s giving me. I feel like a little kid sometimes.

"What’s making you smile like that?"

"The nickname. My God, the effect it has on me."

She raises an eyebrow with a small amused smile as I laugh.

"That doesn’t change the fact that you need to take off your shoes."

"Say it again, and I’ll take them off."

"That’s called blackmail."

"It’s not much. It’s either that, or you take off my shoes yourself."

"Fine, but it’ll cost you."

I hold out my foot with a silly grin. She takes off one shoe, then the other, letting them drop to the floor. Hers quickly join mine before she unexpectedly lies on top of me. I groan because she wasn’t delicate at all. Luckily, my bruises don’t hurt as much anymore, or I might have screamed in pain. She giggles as she kisses my nose.

"Sorry for being grumpy earlier."

"Don’t apologize. You have the right to be. You didn’t have the best morning," I say as I gently stroke her hair.

"You’re right, but still," she mumbles before sighing contentedly against my neck. "You didn’t need to put up with it."

She kisses my jaw softly before moving down to my neck. If she plans to apologize like this every time, I’m going to tell her she can be grumpy more often. In just a few weeks, she’s already discovered that this is one of my weak spots, at least from what she’s explored. She’s gotten into the habit of inflicting this sweet torture on me whenever she gets the chance in her room. I let out a surprised gasp when I feel her teeth nibbling at my skin before she sucks it between her lips.

"What are you doing?" I panic.

"Something I’ve never done but always wanted to try..."

"You’re not serious!"

I laugh as she continues. I don’t even try to push her away. Her hair tickles the tip of my nose. I let her finish as she soothes the small bite with her tongue. She kisses it before propping herself up on her elbows to admire her work with a proud smile.

"So, are you happy now?" I chuckle.

"Not bad for a first time," she laughs. "At least the receptionist will know you’re taken."

"I think he already figured that out, you know. Is this really the first time you’ve done that?"

"Yeah," she smiles.

"And you should know this is the first time I’ve ever gotten a hickey too."

"Really?" she raises an eyebrow. "I thought Mapi would’ve done that already."

"She did... But not in visible places, you see..."

"I’d rather not know. »

I bite my lip, understanding perfectly. Maybe this isn't the best topic for us to talk about together. She captures my lips one last time before standing up.

"What are you doing?" 

"I'm going to get ready. We need to head down soon," she informs me as she heads into the bathroom.

"Oh..." I sigh. "Maybe we should've taken a vacation just for the two of us after all."

I hear her laugh from the other room, which makes me smile.

"You say that, but you'll be the first one who doesn't want to leave at the end of this week."

"You're probably right."

"I am right," she asserts. "You love spending time with your friends just as much as with me."

"It's frustrating how well you know me."

I hear her laugh again. I decide to join her, leaning against the door frame. She's just closing her makeup bag. She’s put on some lipstick and probably a touch of mascara. I blush, thinking she looks stunning.

"What are you thinking about?" she asks with a teasing smile.

"Nothing... Just that you're very beautiful."

"Thank you. You're not too bad yourself," she compliments me, smiling even more.

I clear my throat as I straighten up. I'm not used to openly expressing what I think, and even less so to accepting compliments. Lucy seems to understand this because she changes the subject.

"Should I leave you the bathroom?"

"Please."

We switch places, and she takes the opportunity to plant a kiss on my lips. She stays by the doorframe while I touch up my makeup. Suddenly, she seems deep in thought.

"What's on your mind?" I ask.

She takes a soft breath and shrugs.

"I feel a bit guilty. I compared you a lot to Kiera at the beginning."

I stop what I’m doing. It's the first time she's mentioned Kiera since the night we got together. I never pushed her because she never did it with me, but I wanted her to bring it up at least once. It’s important that we talk about it. I just didn't expect her to do it now.

"Why feel guilty? I don’t blame you. We’re somewhat alike. We were both junkies," I joke.

She shakes her head and sighs. It seems my joke didn't have the intended effect. I move closer to her and place my hand on her cheek. She lifts her head with a sad expression on her face. I begin to wonder just how much she thought we were alike. Seeing her like this tugs at my heart. The emotions she's experiencing are pure sadness. I don’t know how to react. Normally, she’s the one who reassures me.

"Exactly. I was scared when you’d go home. Kiera never wanted to stop, even after she tried to quit. She kept going back, again and again, and I was so terrified it would be the same with you."

I have tears in my eyes as she begins to cry in front of me. I've never seen her like this. She usually controls her emotions so well. Her broken voice shows me just how deeply all of this affected her. Panicking, I desperately kiss her. My gesture seems to be well received by the way she returns the kiss. I end up pressed against the furniture, and our exchange is rough. I wrap my arms around her neck to pull her closer.

"I'm so sorry," she says between sobs.

"Hey, shh," I say, wiping her tears with my thumbs. "It’s okay, alright? Please stop, or I'll start crying with you."

She chuckles, resting her forehead against mine. I realize she just needed to let it all out.

"I'm not Kiera. It’s not your fault that she didn’t want to be saved. I promise you, drugs and I are definitely over. You’re the only thing I could ever want—"

I stop, realizing what I’ve just said. Did I really just say that? Lucy laughs, making me aware of the weight of my words.

"I-I... That’s not what I meant," I stammer, blushing.

"Yes, it is what you meant," she teases.

"It’s embarrassing," I say, looking everywhere but at her, which makes her laugh.

"Baby, I’d be worried if you didn’t want me or if you were thinking about someone else... That’s not the case, right?"

"No," I chuckle. "You’re the only one."

"Hmm..." she says with a playful tone. "You’d better be."

I gasp when she tugs on my earlobe. Unintentionally, I rise onto my tiptoes. She takes advantage of it to press me harder against the furniture. She moves down to my neck, continuing her sweet torture. Damn, she’s good at this. I realize our situation when a moan escapes me.

"I— Luce... Please."

My desperate plea makes her stop immediately.

"Are you okay?"

"I... Yeah... I-I just need to finish up so we don’t end up late."

She smiles, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Sorry, I got carried away."

"Oh no, don’t worry."

"No, I’m sorry. I promised to take it slow, and I intend to keep that promise."

I sigh, nodding. She noticed my struggle, and I feel a bit guilty.

"If it’s something you want—"

"No," she shakes her head. "We don’t need to rush things. You went through a tough time, so we’ll take it slow. Anyway, we’ve only been together for two weeks. We need to get to know each other."

"You’re right."

"As always," she smiles.

She kisses me before pulling away suddenly, leaving a void I never thought I’d feel.

"Hurry up and finish. The quicker we’re downstairs, the sooner we can get back to our bed."

I smile, watching her leave. I guess that means our conversation is over. I quickly finish getting ready before joining her in the bedroom to put my shoes back on.

"Can I borrow a sweater? I’m starting to get cold."

"You didn’t bring one?"

"I’d like one of yours if you don’t mind," I say, biting my lip.

"Of course not. Help yourself," she says, nodding toward the wardrobe.

I quickly find a plain black wool cardigan that matches my sweater. Once I’m ready, we finally leave our room hand in hand. Lucy keeps the keys, and I fully intend to let her take care of that for the entire trip. I’d probably lose them. We arrive in the lobby. Lucy guides me toward the hotel restaurant with her hand on my waist. It’s the first time we can act as a couple in a week, and I plan to savor these moments.

"Have you been here before?" I ask her curiously.

"We came here last year. We liked it so much that we decided to come back."

"Did you bring someone...?"

"I was in a relationship, but no."

I don’t hide my pleasure. I’m the first person she’s brought here. I feel special. A waiter greets us upon our arrival. Lucy asks for the table that Jenni reserved for us. Once he finds it, he leads us there. Only Jenni and Alexia are already seated.

"I thought you’d be the first ones here," Jenni says. "You’re slipping, Luce," she teases.

"I have a girlfriend who’s not very punctual," she laughs.

"Hey! It wasn’t my fault this time! Besides, we’re on time, and it’s been a long time since I was last late."

"Thanks to whom?" she brags.

"I’m not going to respond to that provocation."

She chuckles as I slide onto the bench next to Alexia. Lucy takes the last available spot on the bench.

"Did you two get settled in well?" Jenni asks.

"It seems they did..." Ale hints with a smug smile.

I don't immediately understand where she's going with this until I see her staring at my neck. I blush and pull up the collar of my cardigan to hide Lucy's hickey. I regret not thinking to bring a scarf. Her smile widens, but she doesn’t say anything that might make us uncomfortable. We start chatting while waiting for the others. Lucy has decided to stick close to me tonight. Her hand rests on my thigh. I take advantage of this position by leaning into her as she talks mostly to Jenni. It’s clear they share a deep bond by the way they interact. Her friends gradually join us, bringing with them a lively atmosphere. Of course, the last ones to arrive are Mapi and Ingrid, who sit across from us.

“Now you know why I’m always late,” I say to Lucy. “Mapi’s the one who made me like this.”

“Why am I not surprised?”

“Hey, Lucy, instead of criticizing me, can we talk about how you went wild on my best friend? You're lucky she let you. I didn’t get that kind of treatment.”

I kick Mapi under the table, and she doesn’t hide her pain. I can’t believe she’s talking so openly about our relationship in front of our two girlfriends.

“Did you two date?” Aitana asks.

“Yeah, we were together, and I’m kind of annoyed to know that some people get more privileges than others!”

This time, she gets a smack on the back of the head from Ingrid.

“You're playing with fire, Girl. You’d better drop this conversation if you don’t want to sleep on the floor tonight.”

I bite my lip to suppress a smile when I see Mapi’s dismayed expression. This relationship must be quite different for her compared to her previous ones. Contrary to what I might have thought, Ingrid isn’t someone who can be easily pushed around. It’s surprising because I’ve always known Mapi as the dominant one in her relationships. That was the case with me, as she initiated everything, and I got the impression it was the same with Ana.

“Sorry, honey.”

“Hmm... Sure.”

“Hey, relax, guys,” Ale interjects. “Aren’t we here to have a good time?”

The girls across from us remain slightly tense until a waiter arrives to take our order. It’s the receptionist from this morning. He smiles at me timidly, but I don’t pay much attention.

“What are the specials again?” Ingrid asks.

“Uh, well…”

He flips through his little notebook. I deduce he’s a trainee from the way he’s handling things. He lists all the specials he’s noted down. Some of them sound pretty good.

“The first one was white wine, right?” Mapi asks.

“Yes, that’s correct,” he replies. “It’s slightly sweet, if that’s what you like.”

“Oh! That’s for us, Ona!” she exclaims, looking at me.

“Umm... Yeah.”

“That’ll be two glasses of white wine for the two of us,” Ingrid starts, pointing to Mapi and herself.

Everyone else makes their choices. The girls all opt for beers. Alexia orders the same as the girls, and then it’s our turn. I’m also tempted by the wine, but I’m not sure Lucy would appreciate me drinking alcohol.

“Scratch the glasses and bring us a bottle of white wine with five glasses,” Lucy beats me to it.

I glance at her from the corner of my eye. She smiles at me, gently stroking my hair.

“Why are you looking at me like that? Would you prefer something else?”

“Oh no, no… I’m just surprised, that’s all.”

“As Alexia said, we’re here to enjoy ourselves, right?”

“You’re right... Thank you.”

She smiles before kissing me. It’s the first time she’s kissed me in front of her friends, so it throws me off a bit. When we pull apart, the waiter has disappeared, and the others have resumed their conversation. We join in until the waiter returns with our drinks. I’m so caught up in my conversation with Ale and Mapi that I don’t notice him. But then a cold liquid splashes onto my thighs, making me jump.

“Sh-shit, shit, shit!” the waiter mutters under his breath. “I’m so sorry! It was an accident!”

“Damn it…” I sigh, standing up.

Drops are dripping onto the floor; I’m that soaked. He spilled the entire bottle on me. I’m going to smell like wine all evening because of him. Luckily, I’m not wearing anything white. Another waiter who saw the scene quickly comes over to scold the trainee, who starts to panic.

“I’m sorry, I’ll help you,” he says, stepping forward.

“I’ll take care of it,” Lucy intervenes, gently pushing him away.

I give him a sympathetic smile to reassure the trainee a little after my girlfriend’s attitude. On the other hand, I’m relieved that Lucy stepped in. It’s not like I would have been comfortable with strangers touching me. He takes a few steps back with a crestfallen look while Lucy wipes my pants with napkins.

“Please excuse him, miss. He’s new, still in training. He’ll be severely punished, I assure you.”

“It was an accident; it happens,” I say to lighten the mood.

I lower my eyes to Lucy, who sighs. Our eyes lock immediately. For a moment, I fear that grumpy Lucy is back. I run my hand through her hair at the nape of her neck to relax her. Her muscles do indeed loosen under my hand.

“You need to change. Otherwise, you’ll reek of alcohol all night.”

“Okay, I’ll go up.”

“Can we at least get the cost of a dry cleaning for her clothes?” she asks the waiter.

“Of course, and we’ll bring you a new bottle and offer a second one as compensation.”

“Good. So I suppose this young man won’t need to be fired if that’s what you were planning.”

The waiter simply nods in response to Lucy’s request. I don’t know much about the restaurant or hotel industry, but when something like this happens in movies, it’s usually the punishment that’s expected for the person. So I’m glad my girlfriend took the initiative and saved him from that. I wouldn’t have wished it on him.

“Alright,” she sighs. “Let’s go up.”

I take her hand that she offers and let her lead us out of the restaurant before she changes her mind. We head back to our room. I didn’t expect her to accompany me, but it’s nice of her. The first thing I do when the door shuts is kiss her. She growls, gently pushing me away.

“Take off your clothes before you jump on me.”

“I won’t comment on that innuendo.”

“It’s not my fault you have a dirty mind,” she challenges with a raised eyebrow.

“Sure,” I giggle, unbuttoning my jeans.

I sit down to remove them along with my shoes. I also take off Lucy’s cardigan, which got splashed.

“Can I jump on you now?”

She laughs, leaning in to kiss me again.

“You’re a hopeless case, Miss Batlle.”

“And you’re one to talk? I saw the way you looked at the waiter as we were leaving.”

“He deserved it,” she defends herself. “It’s the least after what he did to you.”

“He’s probably traumatized, poor guy.”

“Whatever. I saved his job, didn’t I? Now, hurry up and change so we can go back down.”

“Hmm... You know you don’t have to worry about him, right?” I ask as I head to our closet.

“Of course. Stop thinking I’m jealous of everyone,” she rolls her eyes, making me giggle.

I put on a new pair of jeans and end up changing into a warmer sweater to replace Lucy’s cardigan. When I’m done, I turn to see Lucy waiting for me on the bed, head tilted. She’s irresistible the way she looks at me. I’m really glad that almost all the scars Korbin gave me have disappeared. I can finally feel at least a little bit pretty for her. I join her to put on my shoes.

“Sorry about your cardigan.”

“There’s no need to apologize. We’ll just send everything to the dry cleaners.”

“Yeah. I didn’t know you were such a good negotiator.”

“Now you know,” she smiles. “Let’s head back down.”

I steal a kiss from her before we return to the restaurant. Everything has been cleaned up, and the bottles have been brought out for the girls’ enjoyment. The evening continues as usual until a discreet throat-clearing interrupts us. We all turn towards the receptionist, who looks like he’s in a state of panic.

“I-I wanted to apologize,” he starts, staring at his feet. “Th-that accident shouldn’t have happened… I didn’t mean to offend you or do my job poorly. I was clumsy a-and…”

The poor guy is scared to death. I imagine it’s his boss who sent him over.

“I-I also wanted to thank you for saving my job…”

“There’s no problem,” I reassure him warmly. “It’s already ancient history.”

“We’ll have the clothes returned to you tomorrow morning,” Lucy tells him.

“No, don’t worry about it. The housekeeper will take care of it when she cleans your room tomorrow morning. They’ve already been informed.”

He seems to relax since Lucy spoke. A friendly exchange takes place between them. He then leaves with a small smile on his face. That conversation must have reassured him. Our first evening resumes when a new waiter comes over to take our orders. I get the feeling we’ve become some sort of VIPs.

We were quickly served, and they offered us the aperitif. Conversations resumed about the activities we could do during our stay. I can tell we're going to have an amazing time with everything there is to do here. I plan to make the most of it, especially since this is our first vacation together with Lucy.

[twistedwonderlandimaginesblog]

Hi 👋 I‘d like to ask for headcanons of Jack, Vil, Jamil, Malleus and Sebek in which the reader meets their family for the first time ( only if it wasn’t already requested )❤️ Thank you very much!🌷

(doing this under the impression they are adults)

Jack Howl: 

Jack invited you on one of his family vacations, thinking there would be enough of a buffer that if you got overwhelmed you could just go back to your shared room alone. His siblings are all enthusiastic and just as athletic as him, wearing you down completely with all the things they want to play with you. You don’t know where any of them get the energy but you certainly come to understand why Jack is so ripped, especially with the way his younger sister liked to hang off of him like he was a tree. His parents are just as happy to meet you and you get a little glimpse into the future, thinking it’s cute how openly affectionate they are with each other (while still retaining that competitive nature the entire family seemed to have).

Jamil Viper: 

Jamil thinks his sister is a menace. He hadn’t seemed thrilled about introducing you to his family in the first place but when he saw he was hurting your feelings, he realized it was inevitable. Najma was the most excited to meet you, wanting to see what type of person found her big brother attractive, and she’s quite fond of you instantly. She gives you a full tour and completely ignores Jamil telling her to just let him do it, telling him he’ll have plenty of time to be alone with you later on.

Malleus Draconia: 

Malleus was obviously excited to introduce you to his grandmother. The entire journey to Briar Valley is filled with him talking about her, giving some politeness rules that you might not know so you don't inadvertently offend her. She exuded power, with an aura that demanded respect, and you can certainly see the family resemblance. She's a bit wary but treats you well, offering all the comforts you could need.

Sebek Zigvolt: 

Sebek has a prepared introduction for your entrance, very amusing to hear him ‘explain’ what your relationship is from his point of view (which he seemed to avoid specific romantic relationship terms). His parents are actually quite welcoming and friendly, speaking openly about their surprise over Sebek having any interest in romance. You’re invited back for holidays as they also think it’s a good way to get more family time from him.

Vil Schoenheit: 

Vil tells you to not feel intimidated despite his fathers fame, as he’s just a normal person when in his own home. The meeting is a bit awkward but Vil elegantly navigates through the conversations to get you both talking. His father does state he was worried Vil might have his heart broken by someone hungry for fame, or if you were a fan desperate to meet him, but he’s thankful to see he should’ve trust his sons judgment.

[beatrixstonehill2]

"A lot of people ask me, 'Chloe, what's the hottest part of being a pregnant trans girl?' And I mean, there are a lot of things! First of all, my womb is technically State property, so I have no say in if I get pregnant or not. Every time my uterus is ready I'm inseminated via a small port on my side, after lots of fertility drugs, of course, which are part of my hrt routine. I'd say, though, my favorite thing is the uncertainty of birth...... My port has a tracking device. So all of my checkups and any medical-related stuff happens compulsorily wherever I am. They pull up, take off my clothes, measure me, weigh me, take breast milk samples, semen samples, ask me embarrassing questions about how often I'm having sex, masturbating, if I'm letting men smack my belly during intercourse and if not, why not?

So I can be out on a date or at work or in line at the grocery store and they'll come up to me and do this whole checkup as everyone watches, filming, gossiping about it, and my body.... It's so humiliating, having my clothes removed, or sometimes even cut off of me with scissors, as the nurses and doctors only talk to each other and never me. I just have to obey as they touch and poke my body, grabbing me, openly talking about my growth and stuff..... I can only talk if they ask me questions like 'How many men have you fucked this week?' or 'Are you engaging in any extreme bondage?' or 'Are you using drugs while you prostitute?' I then have to explain that I don't prostitute myself and they don't believe me..... Well, I mean..... OK I hook sometimes but not all the time! It's just a hobby......

Then of course they weigh me and ask me stuff like how fat I'm trying to get..... again, more loaded fetish questions..... They take milk samples as another nurse jerks me off for a semen sample. When they're done they give me a nice spank and go on their merry way, leaving me still in line or at a restaurant on a date, naked, hugely pregnant, totally embarrassed.... But of course, the real answer to the initial question is obvious.... The hottest thing? I wasn't given any way to give birth naturally, so like a growing amount of trans girls I don't get the pleasure of giving birth anally or urethrally...... I'm given C-Sections...... no matter where I am, just like my checkups.

Last time I had a guy over and I was riding him, my cock on his chest getting absolutely smashed to hell by my giant pregnant belly every time I pumped down on him. It was pure bliss, some of the best sex I had that whole week! When...... the doctor came in. They have a key because my womb is State property, so they can enter my place whenever...... They told us not to worry or bother interrupting ourselves. So I mindlessly rode his cock and he had the time of his life watching this unfold, as they smeared my belly with numbing gel and, yepppp....... And every time I slowed down they told me it was a routine retrieval, that my time was up for this pregnancy, to not 'be dramatic' and stop what I was doing....

We both came so many times, we were exhausted by the end, because after we came they'd smack my ass and tell me to keep riding. I covered his chest in so much cum, it was glorious! My balls legit felt ready to pop, picture it.... My big hips, riding a guy anally, my balls were on his groin getting smashed under the weight of my belly, full of quintuplets with every pump and thrust..... My scrotum was bruised for a week, which guys just found hot..... They slapped this gel on my incision after my babies were taken out (again, State property!), and my whole Caesarian scar was healed in like a day. Not that they bothered to line it up with my other three Caesarian scars, so my belly is gorgeous but it kinda looks like people are taking a samurai sword to my belly when I'm full term. Wait, don't give them any ideas..... Kidding! I love being a breeder for the State! And I can't wait to see how many kids get pulled out of my belly this time.... I'll try to fuck as much as I can when I'm full term, so hopefully I get to give another guy the ride of his life! ❤️"

[cambion-companion]

bestie your aemond fics make my brain function but only for aemond like my brain will throw out different ideas and they’ll only be for aemond 💀

that being said, i’m picturing a very sweet, kind lady-in-waiting to helaena. insults don’t really get to her, she just says thank you and moves on. she appears dumb, but in reality, she’s actually very intelligent and calculated, she just doesn’t think she needs to waste air on people who have nothing better to do than insult her. she saves that for people who insult helaena or aemond, but she does it in such a way it seems almost like a compliment until the person really thinks on it. i personally think aemond would be the only one to see that though, since he’s so silent and observant. like imagine a lady of the court calls helaena an idiot when she isn’t near to defend herself or hear and this lady-in-waiting is so quick to helaena’s defense. so quick. like she just murmurs to herself “takes one to know one” and aemond just can’t help but chuckle as he overhears. like this lady is SO quick-witted. she probably gives aegon a hard time too especially when he treats helaena like shit.

aegon: *openly flirting with a servant in front of EVERYONE*

helaena’s lady: *murmuring under her breath* it would be a miracle if you could even get your cock hard enough after the thirteen goblets of wine you’ve had, your highness.

aemond: *choking on his wine*

helaena’s lady: *placing a hand over her mouth to stifle her giggles and to hide her reddening cheeks bc she’s a little embarrassed aemond heard her*

"Checkmate!" Helaena giggled, sitting back in her cushioned armchair triumphantly.

"You really are terrible at this game." Aegon observed helpfully from over your shoulder. "Quite the critical thinker. It's not as though you've tough competition."

"I don't see you winning any matches." You snapped back. "Or doing much of anything useful, really."

"Lady Y/N makes a good point, brother." Aemond chimed in from where he reclined by the fireplace, book in hand.

"Let's face it." You continued. "Helaena is just too smart for all of us."

The princess beamed at you as Aemond chuckled softly. Aegon rolled his eyes, huffing before slumping into his own chair gracelessly. "Where's the wine?"

"You drank it all." You, Helaena and Aemond spoke at once, glancing at each other in amusement.

Helaena laughed again, rubbing her hands together eagerly. "Another round, Y/N?"

"I might be the one in need of some wine if we are to continue, princess." You looked at her fondly.

"Excellent!" Aegon clapped for the servants. "Bring us more wine!"

"I'll fetch us a different game, Y/N" Helaena rose and hurried out of the room as several servants entered.

Full goblets were distributed to all of you sitting in the drawing room, Aemond took his glass not looking up from his book and Aegon eagerly tipped his own to his lips.

You watched out of the corner of your eye as the elder prince caught the wrist of one pretty serving maid. "Why don't you stay a while? Your lovely face pleases me."

"I'm surprised you can tell a man from a woman in your current state." You quipped, frowning in distaste at the inebriated prince.

Aegon ignored you, tugging the maid closer. "Come, sit on my lap. I have a little problem I could use some help with."

"Please." You sneered. "As if you could get your cock hard after all the goblets of wine you've had."

You heard a splutter as Aemond choked on the sip of wine he'd just taken. Your face warmed as he coughed, still laughing at your boldness. He turned in his seat to face his brother. "Leave her, Aegon."

"I don't answer to you, Aemond."

"Then I suppose I shall report to mother how you continue to harass the serving girls even after the last incident." Aemond's voice was cool and even, but you could hear the undercurrent of rising anger.

"Oh fine. The lot of you are no fun." Aegon released the girl, who looked at you with gratitude before hurrying out of the room just as Helaena returned.

The princess placed a complex looking board game on the table before you, smiling, oblivious to the tense atmosphere.

You felt Aemond's eye upon your face, tactfully avoiding his gaze as Aegon pouted in the corner. Helaena spread out the game, chattering animatedly as she explained the rules to you. Feeling the blush still upon your cheeks you turned your face, your eyes flitting to glance at Aemond. He was observing you, a small smile upon his lips. He gave you the slightest of nods before returning his attention back to the book in his lap.

You looked quickly away, Helaena trailing your line of sight with a knowing look. She leaned forward clasping your hands in her own. "The dragon's fire is not always to be feared." She lowered her voice so only you could hear her next words. "Not when the dragon falls in love."