#they should have a place where they can hang out and be dumb kids?

[staylovesmiley]

Going Dumb~ Chapter 1

ᯓᡣ𐭩Pairing; Kim Seungmin x Fem!reader, Stray Kids x Fem!reader

ᯓᡣ𐭩 ᯓᡣ𐭩Summary; It had been over a decade since you had last seen each other, having met in choir when Seungmin was living with his grandparents in LA and you with your Aunt. Now that you are both presented adults, how will he handle a change to the reality of you he had made in his mind in your absence over the years?

ᯓᡣ𐭩 ᯓᡣ𐭩 ᯓᡣ𐭩 Notes; This is an ABO!AU. in this world when someone reaches puberty they will present with one of three sub genders; alpha, beta, or omega. Due to Alphas and Omegas experiencing rut and heat, some jobs are restrictive as to what sub genders they will hire, specifically singling out omegas as heat suppressants are harder to obtain than rut suppressants. Scent glands are located near the pressure points on the neck and small hormonal patches called scent blockers can be placed over them to reduce or rid an individual of their scent for a period of time depending on the strength of the hormones in the patch.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 ᯓᡣ𐭩 ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩Warnings; abo!au, beta!kim seungmin, almost all alpha!straykids, poly!pack dynamics, female!reader, angst, mild violence, mentions of sexual harassment/assault and discrimination, smut, enemies to lovers, Kim seungmin is kind of an ass I’m so sorry dandy boy, she/her pronouns used for reader, jealous seungmin, I have only ever wrote one abo story before but it is one of my favorite genres so I hope I can do this justice~

(masterlist here)

“God I can’t believe how unreasonable they are being!” Seungmin shouted, slamming the front door behind him as he stormed into the dorm and threw his bag down before pausing to take off his shoes. He made his way to the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of water to calm down while two heads peeked over the edge of the couch to watch him curiously. “What’s up, pup?” Changbin questioned with a teasing smirk, quickly wiping it off his face as the younger turned to glare at him dangerously. “My parents, they are being ridiculous.” He huffed, setting his glass down on the counter before rubbing at his face with exhaustion.

Changbin looked to Felix who sat beside him, the younger alpha shrugging and they both turned back to the beta. “What do you mean, Seungie?” Felix asked as he patted the spot beside him for the younger to join. Reluctantly he took him up on the offer and sat beside the pair on the large brown leather couch. “It’s kind of a long story- and everyone should probably be here cause it kind of involves all of us…” he said with a grumble, not looking forward to having a pack meeting over this. Changbin nodded and sent a message in the group chat.

Seungmin tried to calm down while waiting for everyone to arrive. With it being an off day for most members, it didn’t take long and soon all they were waiting for was their pack alpha who just happened to be walking through the door. “Hey Minnie what’s up? What’s with the need for a pack meeting?” Chan raised an eyebrow, usually he was the one to call for such meetings but he could tell instantly that it was serious and something was bothering their beta.

Sighing, the young beta straightened up and ran a hand through his hair. “So- god this is gonna be a lot I’m so sorry…” everyone rolled their eyes at his stalling and Minho hit him over the head lightly from where he was standing behind the couch. “Spill, puppy.” The younger growled lightly, though not as menacing as he wished it would be to the alpha. “There is this girl-“ Hyunjin gasped loudly, hand over his chest in a dramatic display of teasing faux shock. “Our puppy gets bitches?!” This exclamation earned him a pillow to the face from Jeongin and everyone shouting at him to let the second youngest continue his story before making comments.

“As I was saying, there is this girl who I used to know from when I was in the states, right?” He rolled his eyes at the thought, huffing a bit. “Super annoying alpha from choir who would always hang around me and made everyone avoid me like the plague cause of how annoying she was-“ Shaking his head, he decided he was getting off track. “Anyways, her aunt became friends with my parents and they apparently kept in touch all this time and she is coming to Korea to start working.” So far everyone was following, full attention on the beta in front of them. “Well- she was gonna be staying with my parents I guess while she gets settled and finds a place to live but since they are about to go on this big anniversary trip they don’t want her to get lonely at the house all by herself.” Once again he rolled his eyes in annoyance.

“Get to the point, pup.” Chan urged him, arms crossed over his chest as he saw the others starting to get impatient. “They are bringing her here to stay with us until they get back since we have that spare room and apparently decided we should reconnect or whatever after all this time- as if we were ever really friends to begin with….” He spewed so fast he almost tripped over his words, wincing a bit as he waited for them to scold him for not protesting his parents favor harder.

Everyone stared at him a bit, mixes of disbelief, confusion, and slight amusement from some. “I tried to tell them we are about to have a comeback and won’t be here much as it is and she’d be better just staying at the house anyways but they used that as an excuse that she won’t be a bother cause we won’t have to see her much.” Seungmin groaned, placing his head in his hands. “I’m sorry guys- she should be here in a few hours I just found out on my drive back from vocal lessons.”

Chan shrugged, trying to keep his scent neutral as to keep everyone calm. “Hey, it’s okay Minnie. I’m sure she isn’t as bad as you remember, I mean it’s been a long time since you were in the states yeah?” He nodded, looking up at the oldest with a slight pout. “Yeah…I guess-“ Felix patted him on the back and Minho sighed as he pushed away from the couch. “Well I guess I’ll go get that spare bedroom ready for a guest. Any idea how long she’ll be here?”

Thinking for a bit, trying to recall all his mother had spewed to him about his childhood “friend’s” visit while he seethed quietly on his end of the line. “I don’t know- they will be gone a month but she could find an apartment sooner than that? At least a month then she will go back to my parents. She’ll be their problem.” He groaned, standing up to get his glass of water again and calm his agitated scent. What were his parents thinking dumping you on him like this was some sort of boarding home.

It was about a half an hour after the pack meeting that there was a ring of the doorbell chiming through the apartment. All the members’ heads popped up to look around before Seungmin huffed in annoyance and went to answer it. Upon opening the door his eyes landed on you, suitcases slightly behind you and a shy smile on your soft features. You were dressed in ripped light wash jeans and a plain black hoodie so oversized it fell at almost mid thigh over your jeans. You looked good and he mentally cursed himself for thinking so.

“Seungmin? Oh my god it’s been….forever.” You said the last word breathlessly, looking him up and down with a little giggle as you took in his appearance. “Didn’t think you’d be taller than me someday.” You teased lightly, watching as his eyes rolled and his scent spike with agitation. “Come in, I guess….where is mom and dad?” He questioned, stepping aside to allow you in before peeking out into the hall to search for them. “Um in a hurry to get back to the airport so they just dropped me off and told me what door to go to…” you said, awkwardness laced in your tone as you pulled your rolling suitcases in with you and looked up to find several pairs of eyes locked onto you.

“Oh- are these your pack mates?” You asked softly, looking around at them with a soft wave and what you hoped was a friendly smile. “Yes. Try not to bother us too much, yeah? We’re very busy right now.” He huffed as he closed the door behind you and grabbed a suitcase with one hand and your wrist with the other causing you to yelp softly at the sudden grip. “Come on I’ll show you where you can stay…” he grumbled out, ignoring the look Chan shot his way before the elder stepped out in front of the two of you to stop him. “Seungmin, are you not going to introduce us?” He asked, eyebrow raised at him before shooting a soft smile to where you stood behind him. “Hi, I’m Bangchan. You can just call me Chan, though.” He said holding a hand out to you.

You tensed a bit, his strong saltwater scent washing over you as if you had just dived head first into the ocean. “Y/n, but everyone calls me-“ Seungmin cut you off, rolling his eyes a bit. At this rate they would fall out of his head with how hard and how many times he was making the gesture.

“Bunny. Everyone calls her Bunny. And that’s Changbin, Jeongin, and Felix on the couch, Hyunjin is the one lurking in the kitchen pretending not to be paying attention, Jisung is in his room, and Minho is in the room you’ll be staying in still I think? He may have gone to his room already-“ Seungmin said as he pointed to everyone’s location before looking at Chan with impatience. “There, introduced. Now can I show them to their room, hyung?” He asked with a slight annoyance in his tone that the older didn’t appreciate. “Puppy…manners.” Is all he said, before stepping aside. “It’s nice to meet you, Bunny.” The alpha said with a wink before heading off to his own room.

You blushed slightly, trailing silently behind your old friend as he lead you into a plainly decorated room with just a bed and bedside table. Minho had indeed already retired to his room so Seungmin gestured to the mostly empty space then sighed. “Here. Don’t make too much noise and again, don’t bother us.” You nodded, taking a deep breath before grabbing onto his wrist as he tried to leave. “Wait- Minnie? Um it’s really nice to see you again. I’m really happy for you and all you’ve accomplished….I hope your parents have sent you my well wishes over the years.”

They indeed had constantly kept him up to date with the messages you had sent to him, though he wondered why after all these years of him dodging any attempts to keep in touch you would care to wish him well or say they are happy for him. “Right, yeah they have. I’m going to wash up, just keep to yourself while you’re here yeah? And don’t call me that.” He said, his usually neutral clean laundry scent souring with his attitude as he quickly left you alone in the room, shutting the door behind him.

You were left standing in the room, a little dumbfounded at his attitude before you scratched a bit anxiously at the scent blockers on your neck. You rolled your suitcases over to the closet and laid them down so it would be easier to go through them when needed, humming softly to yourself before there was a knock at the door. A young man with short black hair and catlike features peeked his head into the room but had his eyes covered by one hand. “Decent?” You giggled a bit, nodding. “Yeah- you’re good.”

Removing his hand from his eyes, the man smirked as he fully entered the room. “Im Minho, you’re uh Bunny, right?” He asked, eyebrow raised with amusement. “Mhm that’s me! It’s nice to meet you.” You reached out, shaking his hand before standing. “Likewise. Sorry for the puppy’s behavior earlier….” You shrugged, sighing a bit. “It’s probably warranted…I feel bad for letting there be distance between us for so long I should have tried harder to keep in touch.” Curiosity flooded his warm caramel scent as he looked at you quizzically. “You seem to be more fond of him than he is of you…” with another sigh you nodded your head. “It seems so, yeah…I’m sure he’ll warm up though it’s just been a while.” Minho nodded slowly.

“Right….anyways- I was coming to say dinner is ready if you wanna come grab something to eat? It’s just pizza we weren’t really up to cooking tonight.” You beamed at his kindness and shrugged slightly. “Sounds good to me!” You said, following him out as he lead the way to the dinning room where multiple pizza boxes lay open on the table.

Everyone was congregated in the living room, something random on the tv for background noise as they ate in relative silence. You got yourself a slice and sat down at the table alone, getting the feeling Seungmin didn’t want you to interact with his pack much but Minho rolled his eyes and took a hold of your wrist, pulling you with him to the living room where everyone else was waiting. “No really it’s fine- I can even eat in my room if you-“ the alpha looked back to give you a look that this was nonnegotiable and you relented, head hung slightly causing everyone’s interest to pique slightly with your easy submission.

Once you settled on the floor with your place on the coffee table in front of you, Minho spoke up. “Can I get you something to drink?” You looked up blinking a bit before answering. “Water please?” He smiled warmly and nodded, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and handing it to you before taking his seat. “Seungmin said you’re here for work, yeah? What is it you do?”

You took a sip of your water before replacing the cap and setting it down. Looking up to see it was Chan who had asked you the question. “This is going to sound so cliche but- I’m an English teacher.” This caused them all to look around subtly with more confusion, teaching not being a job many alphas applied for though it wasn’t unheard of. Chan asking you your line of work caused the preverbal glass to tip over and the others began spouting out questions of their own.

“What made you want to teach in Korea?” Came Jeongin, taking a bite of his pizza so large it was almost the whole slice at once. “Oh well I was originally a teacher back in America, for a few years now, but it wasn’t as much money compared to the cost of living….I was talking to Minn- uh Seungmin’s sister and she told me I should try teaching over here.” They all nodded, glancing between you and Seungmin to see his reaction to the mention of his older sister and he simply at his dinner, pretending not to care or listen as his pack mates entertained you.

Next came Changbin, an amused smirk on his lips. “Why do you go by Bunny?” This got Seungmin’s attention and he answered for you in a mocking tone. “Because when she was little she had huge front teeth and always scrunches her nose like a baby bunny. Also had a habit of eating raw vegetables like crazy.” He scoffed, causing you to look down at your lap with a sting in your chest. “Well yeah, thanks Seungmin that pretty much sums it up….I grew into my smile pretty much and I eat more than just veggies now but the name stick so hard-“ You continued to explain, causing the beta to groan exaggeratedly. “Uh- I’m from the south originally and once you get a nickname people from there won’t ever let you forget it. I got lucky mine isn’t too bad-“ you sighed, ignoring the feeling of Seungmin glaring at the back of your head.

The rest of the meal you tried to keep your answers short, fearing angering your old playmate any more for “annoying his members” assumingely. You were quick to help clean up, insisting it’s the least you could do for them allowing you to stay there with them. Once everything was cleaned up and the left overs were put away you had Minho show you to the bathroom and reach you how to work the shower before leaving you with your folded up pajamas, a towel, and your toiletries tucked to your chest to wash up.

While you showered in one bathroom, everyone else got ready for bed using one of the other two before they retired to their respective rooms to call it a night. As you scrubbed away the airport smells from your skin, you reached up and carefully peeled away the scent blocking patches you had on for far to long now. You sighed in relief at the lack of hormones clogging your glands and made sure to thoroughly wash the area to clean away any residue left behind.

Stepping out of the bathroom dressed in a pair of short black pajama shorts and an oversized sweatshirt you padded your way in socked feet to the room your be staying in, your warm citrusy scent quickly filling the apartment and causing the occupants to stir from their beds and make their way out to the hall. By the time all eight men congregated there you were already tucked away in your room, quickly falling asleep after the days travel and jet lag setting in.

“Uh, Seungmin I hate to break it to you but I don’t think your friend is an Alpha- did they tell you they were one?” Felix asked, looking over at him as they all took in your sweet scent. “No- neither of us had presented before I left to come back to Korea…I just- I assumed okay?” He groaned, placing his head in his hands. “What made you think they would be an alpha so strongly?” Changbin laughed, patting the beta on the back. “They were so obnoxious and loud and rowdy and annoying- oh um….No offense? But you know how alphas can be especially when just presenting! Remember Ji?”

All eyes fell on Han and he held his hands up in surrender. “Hey! I came to see the errors of my ways and have made amends-“ they all chuckled and turned back to the second youngest. “She used to get into fights all the time too! One time she beat up my buddy so badly she broke his nose!” He winced at the memory and Chan sighed, shaking his head as he leaned against the wall. “Look- Alpha or Omega it doesn’t matter. She didn’t seem to mind staying here knowing we are all, well almost all, alphas so we just gotta make sure we don’t make her feel uncomfortable. Got it?” Everyone nodded in the affirmative and a chorus of yawns rang out. “Let’s get some sleep, yeah? Busy day tomorrow only a few more til the comeback and we have a lot to prep still.”

Soon they all went back to bed, trying to get some sleep with the foreign but almost intoxicating scent coming from your room and settling well in the apartment with the other collective scents. Seungmin laid on his back for what felt like hours, staring up at the ceiling as it almost taunted him. All these years and any time you were brought up in his mind he knew you as that annoying little alpha who would never give him any space in choir. Hearing you were a teacher now, never having pursued music knowing the talent you held (despite his distaste for you he couldn’t deny that fact) made more sense knowing that the industry rarely accepted omegas, and even had some aversion to alphas.

Shaking his head of the thoughts of you swimming there, he attempted yet again to fall asleep but found it almost impossible knowing you already weren’t who he remembered you to be, and he couldn’t seem to over come the thought that his reality could be altered so quickly without any control. You were seeming to be the death of his sanity yet again and you had only just arrived.

author’s note: I real hope you all like this story- ૮꒰ “. . ꒱ა i purposely left off the readers sub gender from the tags because I wanted to at least attempt to surprise you all~ I’m already have a lot of fun with this series and have so many things planned I hope I can get it all to work (still would love suggestions though I get inspired and hyped up by you all so much ilysm) ᕱᕱ⊹ ࣪ ˖

taglist; @coastinglove @skzswife (if you want to be added to the taglist pls lmk)

[caseyd1a]

Not to sound like a old fart but, kids these days have no where to go to just be. Like when I was younger the place was the mall. We’d either walk there or get a ride from whoever’s parents took mercy upon our souls. We’d go look at stuff in Spencer’s and peruse the clearance racks since we were all broke only to spend all our money on food at the food court and buy a meal off of the dollar menu. It was a good time. But, I just found out that kids aren’t allowed to be in the mall anymore without an adult escorting them. And like I know malls are on the decline or whatever but, like a group of teenagers can’t be out on the street without someone calling the cops, they can’t be in the mall, they can’t be at the beach, not to mention all of the internet spaces that are dying and incredibly censored. Idk I just feel like kids, teenagers that is, don’t have anywhere to just BE. Sorry I know this is a weird rant but, it was in the news this morning and it’s just really wild to me.

[planet-dusk]

minho + corruption kink !!!!!! (i probably said this already but is so lee know corruption)

- 😽

🏷️ f!reader, dubcon-ish, dad's best friend!minho, dom!minho, aged up minho (he's 40 and mc is 23), corruption (both), fingering, oral (m), mc is called sweetheart, doll

you’re off-limits. minho knows. you’re his friend's daughter; it’s an unspoken rule. it should’ve been unambiguous when said friend had trusted minho enough to ask him to pick you up from your girl’s night out after your car broke down. 

the ride to your apartment had been quiet, tension palpable in the air. but what would’ve been there to talk about? minho isn’t a fan of small talk, and he doesn’t know you that well. doesn’t even know what kind of music you like. what kind of movies. or if you prefer pizza over chinese takeout (it has to be chinese). 

you said you do but he doubts you remember him. he barely remembers you — and certainly not like this. he’d only seen you a handful of times before his return. you’d been so young back then. fuck, you still are. you’re what, 23 now? way too fucking young. he should know better.

it’d been a classic case of high school sweethearts coupled with an accidental pregnancy. minho recalls the long nights filled with his friend’s anxiety, slowly being replaced by naive happiness, and then he and your dad had gone their separate ways. 

for minho it’d been moving countries. for your dad it’d been starting a family. they’d stayed in touch throughout the years, on and off, and you’d been little more than a speck in his periphery. until he moved back. 

now he’s caging you against your kitchen wall and he prays your father won’t question why he’d been so eager to pick you up well past midnight. 

on a fucking tuesday. 

his hands slip underneath your shirt and you whimper into his mouth when his fingertips graze your nipples. they’re pebbling through your flimsy lace bra. 

“minho, w-what are you doing?” you push his shoulders, looking up at him with rounded eyes. 

minho wants to fucking ruin you.

“don’t play dumb right now,” he scoffs and tugs at your nipples, earning another moan from you. he knows you’re not stupid. you invited him in for a drink. you might as well have hung a neon sign asking him to fuck you. but there’s something about this innocent act of yours that drives him crazy.

why did you call your dad in the first place? don’t you have any friends who could’ve picked you up? your dad’s out of town and minho doesn’t want to think of what could’ve happened if he hadn’t been around. but it’s clear you’re daddy’s little girl; you’re spoiled rotten. he even bought you this apartment close to your family home. 

ever since he came back minho’s been hanging out at your father’s place nearly every weekend. first and foremost because he enjoys his friend’s company (he’s not that big of an asshole), but you’re a close second.

scratch that; you’re the main reason. you and those skimpy shorts you wear to the weekly barbeque. who the fuck has a weekly family tradition? minho loves his parents, but he’s fine seeing them once every few months at most. 

maybe it’s because he doesn’t have any kids himself. maybe that’s the reason why the voice inside his head is doing such a terrible job of stopping him from kissing his way down your neck. 

the sweet noises you’re making are even better than he imagined. he should’ve never gone back to this cursed town. should’ve stayed on the other fucking side of the globe where you’re not malleable and soft under his touch. 

“we shouldn’t be doing this, minho,” you protest. 

he ought to feel sick to his stomach about betraying his friend — your father — like this but all he feels is his cock throbbing in his pants. 

“shh, doll, no one has to know,” he presses his body closer and watches your eyes gloss over. oh, you like that. he likes that. he wants to discover all the ways he can make you cry on his cock.

“we’ll keep this between us,” he whispers and undoes the button on your jeans. you let him. “it’ll be our little secret. won’t that be fun?” 

his fingers find your clit and your answer turns into a sweet high-pitched whine. you’re so wet for him already. he was right.

“i see the way you look at me… wearing those pitiful things you call shorts just to toy with me. pathetic pieces of fabric haunt my dreams at night,” he chuckles dryly, “don’t think i don’t notice. two can play this game.” 

he kicks your legs apart with his foot and sinks a finger into your hole. you swallow a moan and hold onto his forearm, shaking your head. “i don’t play —”

“don’t lie to me, sweetheart. i know you want this. do you hear that?” he pumps his finger in and out of you, the wet sounds betraying your arousal, “that’s how much you want me.”

minho tries not to think of the other guys you’ve fucked in here. eager young boys you met at work or at the one (and only) bar in town. and now your eyes are begging him for more. he can’t help but feel lightheaded. this is a dangerous game. 

he retracts his hand and chuckles when your face falls at the loss. he brings it up to your lips, pupils blown wide as he watches you suck on his fingers. 

“pretty little thing,” he grabs a handful of your ass and grinds his hard cock into your core for some relief, “i’m going to fucking ruin you tonight. and you’re going to let me.” 

your answer is muffled around his fingers but your actions say enough. you’re unclasping his belt, wriggling your body out of his grasp and dropping onto your knees in front of him. 

minho kicks his head back with a groan when you kitten-lick the precum off his tip, eyes never leaving his face. he has to force himself to look down at you, watch how you take your time to map every vein and ridge with your tongue, content hums of approval falling from your lips. 

when your throat wraps around him and he has to pull out to stop himself from cumming too soon, your sly smile finally dawns on him. this wasn’t a simple mistake. but it’s too late to go back now. 

tonight won’t be the last time.

[g1rld1ary]

lifeguard!james x reader 2

wc: 1587

cw: nowhere near as horny as the first one (my period ended), still mentions of sexual feelings, swearing

you went back to the pool the next day. was it for james? no. was it not for james? you weren't answering that. but there he was when you and the girls walked in just after lunchtime, sunglasses on to avoid the reflection from the water. you had to admit you were glad he was working, you'd forgotten your book at home and needed something fun to look at when you were tanning.

you were allowed to observe him shamelessly for a minute and a half whilst he was preoccupied explaining something to hilda, one of the old ladies who possibly spent every day of summer at the public pool (she was big on aqua aerobics). it was even better when he did see you all, though, his face breaking out into a boyish grin as he waved. the girls all waved back and you pulled your sunglasses down past your eyes with one hand, raising one eyebrow with a smile. he responded with a silly exaggeration of his heart beating against his chest with his hands, drawing an unwilling giggle out of you. he looked pleased with the reaction.

james left you all alone for a little, actually doing his job while you soaked up the sun, discussing your summer readings with lily. marlene and mary were filling out magazine quizzes next to you, occasionally asking for opinions. about a half hour later james approached you with an excited "ladies! it's good to see you back again!" mary laughed with a polite greeting in return, twisting in her beach chair to face him. you all followed, and you couldn't resist teasing him.

"hope you don't think it's because of you, baywatch." james shook his head sagely.

"i would never dare. i mean, clearly, this is the place to be." he gestured around the facility, obviously referring to the fact that you and your friends were the only people there aged between 15 and 30. lily laughed then, pushing her sunglasses up into her hair to look at him properly.

"is this your way of asking where people actually hang out?" james shrugged. "to be completely honest, most of our age group sleep through the day to do dumb shit at night, it's the best way to escape the heat," she explained.

"the few that are awake usually hang around the arcade," marlene added, "or the village -- that's the shopping centre. usually our group hang out there if it's horrid weather, there's a decent cinema and a music shop, passable food as well." james nodded, looking genuinely interested in what marlene had to say about it.

"maybe you'll all have to show me around it one time," he said cheekily, and you all made entertained noises at his forwardness.

"desperate for our company, are you?" you teased, but james just shrugged easily.

"i told you yesterday, i literally have zero friends here." there was something charming in his openness about being a complete loser, and you could tell the others felt similarly.

"don't be silly, james, we'll be your friends," lily said kindly, using the same tone she did when talking to the kids she tutored.

"yeah," marlene agreed, "you can't be any worse than the other tossers we're friends with." you all laughed at that, thinking of the boys who refused to accompany you to the pool.

"and they've not come with you?" james asked, catching onto the unsaid easier than he probably should as a relative stranger.

"they wouldn't be caught dead. sirius cares about his hair too much to even be around all these germs, and remus tries not to be in the sun if he can avoid it. poor peter refuses to be the only guy hanging out with us, I think we still scare him a little after all these years," mary joked, and james looked utterly delighted to be hearing about your lives.

he excused himself not long after to get back to the job he should've been doing the whole time, and you admired the way his arse looked in the swim shorts as he left.

"he seems nice," you muttered, and the others agreed. lily raised one perfect red eyebrow.

"are we talking about his personality or the body you can't stop staring at?" you gasped, not offended at her statement but more than willing to pretend.

"are you calling me a whore?" you asked with a hand over your chest.

"you said it," marlene quipped and you cried out in protest, lines of mock outrage spilling from your lips.

you got bored of bickering quickly, the heat taking most of the fight out of you. you sat in relative silence for a while until lily declared it time for more water, taking marlene to go buy you all bottles from the corner shop down the street. the ones at the tragic pool bar were never cold and she wanted ones from the fridge. that left you and a sleeping mary on either side of your line of chairs. you pushed yourself up to a sitting position, leaning over to grab the magazine lying on marlene's towel.

you flipped through it lazily, but couldn't stop your eyes from drifting up to where james sat in his lifeguard's chair, wiping sweat from his brow. there was something about him that interested you (aside from the god-like body). he had an easy openness that you scarcely found in guys your age; he wasn't afraid to be lame or honest and didn't seem to be interested in making himself sound any better than he was to a group of four hot girls -- if you did say so yourself. he was refreshing, and not just visually.

as if he could read your mind james started approaching, and you quickly busied yourself in an article you couldn't care less about.

"hi," he said, standing in front of your chair. you looked up, feigning slight surprise, as if you hadn't been listening to his flip-flops grow closer.

"couldn't stay away?" you asked, closing the magazine in a way you hoped didn't look eager.

"you caught me," he sighed, smile making its way onto his face.

"shouldn't you be working?"

"i'm taking my break. thought i'd come keep you company."

"how generous," you mused, "would've thought you'd gotten enough of a view of me during your shift from up on that seat of yours." james had the decency to look mildly embarrassed for a moment, but it passed quickly and he took it in stride, sitting on the edge of your deck chair, careful not to drip water on your belongings.

"i'm only appreciating the natural beauty of this town. besides, someone's gotta do it if your boyfriend won't bother coming here with you, wouldn't want such a nice bikini to go to waste." you felt hot at the compliment and you knew it wasn't just the sun. you tried to play it off.

"are you asking if i'm single?" james paused for a moment, possibly thinking through his options, then nodded, unashamed. "you don't even know my name."

"you won't tell me."

"touché." you let yourself smile a little, loving the way james' eyes crinkled when he returned it. "done anything to earn it yet?" you could see him genuinely thinking and wondered whether he'd make up a miraculous story about an epic save he made just before you arrived at the pool.

"no, guess not." he settled on, disarming you again. the near-constant earnestness in his way of speaking hadn't stopped catching you by surprise yet, and you wouldn't be shocked if it never did.

"and what, no girlfriend up north to scold you for staring at my tits?" you teased as james' eyes flew back up to yours, only relaxing when he saw you weren't upset.

"free as a bird," he confirmed quietly, "though I'm sure it's of no interest to you." the air felt electric between you, had he always been this close? you were face to face, only a few inches between you. you could feel butterflies erupting not just in your stomach.

"obviously," you answered, similarly quiet. the moment felt inappropriately intimate despite the people around you. you were equal parts glad and furious when lily and marlene returned, unsure of what you might have succumbed to right there on the deck chair if you hadn't been interrupted. james looked equally worked up, hazy look in his eyes making him appear already fucked out. he stood with a start, excusing himself to get back to work.

"see you around, baywatch," you said, strategically reapplying some lipgloss. you didn't miss his glance at your lips.

"hope so, dollface." you were glad james was leaving because the nickname made you falter, going straight to your ovaries. you'd done it to yourself yet were no more prepared, staring dumbly after him.

you tried to play it off quickly, picking the magazine up where you left off and flipping through noncommittally. you could feel your friends' eyes on you and pointedly ignored it, eyes trained down at some 'best-dressed' list you'd found.

"just your luck that you get first dibs on the hot new guy," mary complained, but you could tell she wasn't all that bothered.

"you are going to eat him alive," marlene laughed and lily nodded, the two of them already sharing condolences for james. you didn't say anything, but judging from the coil still wound tight in your lower belly, maybe it wasn't james they had to be worried about.

i need him fr

[mymoodwriting]

Request for Anon (Yandere Sugar Daddy NCT U) 9k, assault, verbal assault, physical assault, slut-shaming, public humiliation, bullying, name calling, smut, unprotected sex, fingering, penetration, blowjob, handjob, creampie, gang bang, breeding, pregnancy scare, forced pregnancy, non-con, kidnapping, yandere, bad ending, blatant disregard for womens reproductive rights

“Leave me the fuck alone!”

    This wasn’t the first time you had answered the phone in such a manner. Screaming into the little speaker, hoping to blow out the eardrum of the annoying caller, and then hanging up. It was a very frustrating ordeal.

“Damn girl, what’s your problem?”

“It’s nothing, Mina. Just trying to get my point across.”

“Is someone bothering you?”

“Bingo.”

“Then why haven’t you blocked their number?”

“Oh I have, but obviously they still know mine. So whenever I get a call from a random number, I answer by screaming.”

“And how long have you been doing that for?”

“Uh… a little over a week now.”

“Seriously? And they still haven’t gotten the message?”

“Nope.”

“You know, what if those calls are important?”

“I don’t have any jobs or internships or anything that I’m waiting to hear back on, so it’s highly unlikely that’s the case.”

“Maybe you should change your number.”

“That would mean spending money I don’t have.”

“Really? Says the girl who has paid her tuition in full and doesn’t owe a penny in student debt. All because of some mystery job she won’t tell me about or share!”

“Well, you know me.”

“Yeah, I do.”

    You and Mina were close friends, having met here at Uni your freshman year and sticking together through it all. Now you were at the start of your final semester, ready for one last ride before starting a new chapter of your life. Of course the campus was jammed back as new students were moving in, and freshmen were trying to navigate this new place and find their classes. It was a really beautiful day too, and you had yet to start any of your classes, so you were in a pretty good mood. You knew you probably wouldn’t feel the same by the end of the day, but it was best to make the most of it now. That is until you were suddenly yanked back, and came face to face with someone you really didn’t want to see.

“You’re such a fucken bitch.”

    Jeno’s words dripped with venom. To say he was pissed would be an understatement. He was also the last person you wanted to see right now.

“What the hell are you doing here!”

“Why aren’t you answering our calls?”

“Oh, I am answering. I just don’t wanna hear what you have to say!”

“That’s not solely for you to decide!”

“Yes, it is. If I want to end things, I can, and I have.”

“Without a proper explanation? You’re kidding, right?”

“Does it sound like I am?”

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“Leave. Before I call security.”

“We are not leaving until we talk.”

“We?”

    You heard it then, the terribly familiar sound of a car engine, two car engines to be specific. You looked over and saw the vehicles pulling up, two gentlemen exiting each one, and making their way over to you. In the moment you attempted to run off, but Jeno grabbed your arm and dragged you towards them.

“There she is.” Ten teased. “Where ya been hiding love?”

“Fuck off! I want nothing to do with you! Any of you!”

“Yeah, we got your text. Now explain yourself.”

“What’s there to explain? I’m breaking up with you, period.”

“See that’s the thing.” Johnny grabbed your chin and forced your eyes to meet. “Where did that silly idea come from?”

“My head. Or is that too hard to comprehend.”

“Easy now, princess. You’re begging for punishment if you keep acting like this.”

“I’m not playing any games here.” You pulled away from Johnny. “We’re done, now leave.”

“That’s hardly an explanation.” Jaehyun hissed. “Do the last four years mean nothing to you?”

“Are you really all that dumb? Our relationship was just an exchange of goods and services, nothing more.”

“Is that so?”

“I’ve told you all about my dreams and aspirations for the future before. When did I ever include you in them?”

Yuta scoffed. “So you really just whored yourself out to us for four years so we could pay your tuition? And now that it’s all been paid off, you’re done with us?”

“Bingo. Maybe you’re not that stupid.”

“This was all just a fucken game to you?” Jeno yelled. “Four years?! A fucken game!”

“Not like you ever made a serious move, did you now? Any of you for that matter. So don’t come bitching to me about a broken heart or broken promises. It’s not my fault you caught feelings when I wasn’t sending you any fucken signals.”

“Yeah? What about all the nights out? The dinners, the trips, the clothes and accessories?”

“Dinners, and trips, you invited me out on. I never asked to go anywhere. As for the clothes and other stuff, that’s all at your place, isn’t it? I never kept any of the fancy expensive stuff you got me, did I? Nor did I ask for anything. I owe you nothing. You got what you paid for, more than that actually, but I’m fine leaving things as they are.”

    Your words had certainly stunned them into silence. And you also meant everything you said. It was certainly fun to be with them, to get a little slice of that kinda life, even if it was just for a while. You knew it wouldn’t last though, and that’s the mentality you kept, the one that kept you from falling for them. They were just rich guys wanting someone to mess around with, and now that their no-strings attached fuck buddy had left them, they were panicking. You said your peace, having to spell it all out for them. It was good to get it off your chest though, and with that you’d make you exit. Or at least that was the idea.

    As you turned around to leave, you felt a hand grab your arm and yank you back with enough force to drop you to the ground. You couldn’t get back up as they surrounded you. By then your whole argument had been noticed and a crowd of students and faculty had gathered around. Having this conversation out in the open was already embarrassing, and all the attention was making it worse. Although they were about to increase that exponentially.

“Whore.” Jaehyun spat. “Any money spent on you was clearly a waste. The only way you could think about getting through uni was to spread your legs. I bet you slept around with your professors too.”

“Excuse me!”

“Do you even have any brains?” Yuta questioned. “Or are you just playing pretend so you can wear a cap and gown, and show off some piece of paper.”

“Fucken-”

    You tried to get up but Jeno got his foot on your chest, pinning you down. You struggled to get him off, but he was putting all his weight on you. When your eyes met him you could see he was still pissed, and if possible, he was way more enraged now.

“You found someone else to spread your legs for, didn’t you!” Jeno yelled. “Whoring yourself out for whoever can benefit you the most!”

“Get off of me!”

“Why? Don’t you like having men on top of you?” Johnny kicked dirt at you. “Fucken slut.”

“Ya!”

“Just do what you do best.”

    Yuta and Ten started yanking your legs apart, and you kicked and screamed at them. Although you stopped when Jeno put more weight on you and you struggled to breath. You were clawing at his leg, but he was relentless.

“What’s going on here!”

    Two officers from campus security approached and all the boys stepped back. Jeno moved away and you took in a deep breath, sitting up and coughing a bit.

“We’re leaving.” Ten smiled. “No need for an escort.”

“Hold on now, you can’t-”

“Just let them go.” You spoke. “I’m not gonna make a big deal out of this.”

    The officers didn’t do anything more, and so the boys walked off. Soon enough you heard those damn engines again, but you didn’t dare look over at them. For a moment after they were gone everything remained quiet and still, and then Mina came over to help you stand, the crowds starting to disperse.

“What the hell was all that?”

“Remember when I told you I got a sugar daddy…”

“Yeah, daddy, as in one, not five! Also, I didn’t believe you.”

“Well I wasn’t lying.”

“Clearly. And you couldn’t share any of them?”

“They’re not exactly easy to deal with.”

“Is that why you’d always ditch me? Disappear on weekends? Why we couldn’t ever really share a meal together? You were off with them.”

“Yeah…”

“You really are stupid.”

“Ya!”

“Girl, when did you ever have time for yourself? Or anyone else in your life who was actually important? Here I thought you were just so focused on studying and busy working to pay off your tuition. I wasn’t wrong on the latter, but still.”

“Are you... mad at me?”

“No, not really. Just processing out loud... you did tell me about this, somewhat, I just didn’t think you were for real.”

“I know. If you had told me the same thing I wouldn’t have believed you either.”

“But you’re really done with them now?”

“Yup. I didn’t think they’d throw such a fit though.”

“A fit? I’d call that harassment, and assault. Shouldn’t you press charges?”

“There’s no point. They’d get good lawyers, and it’d just be a waste of my time. I don’t want anything to do with them anymore, so I’ll let it go.”

“Fine, but you are getting a new number after class. Got it?”

“Yeah.”

    That morning certainly killed the mood, but you went about your day trying to make the best of it. Of course your chest hurt pretty bad, but nothing some quick pain killers couldn’t deal with. Like you had promised, after all your classes, you and Mina went to change your number. Then you went about the grueling task of messaging friends and family to let them know you had a new number.

“Shall we go out for ice cream? You know, since you’re free now.”

“I could use something sweet.”

    You knew there would still be issues. If they made such a big show at your campus, who knows what else would happen if you met out on the streets. With that in mind you didn’t go anywhere off campus alone, and you didn’t visit any of their favorite places or usual hangouts. You thought you had it figured out, but there was something you couldn’t avoid. Everyone else.

    Word spread fast about that day. About how a girl got harassed by five guys, and all the slurs and insults that they threw her way. A few days later everyone seemed to know your name, and had an idea of the type of person you were. When you went to class all the others would purposely sit away from you, only Mina ever sat next to you. Then there were the whispers and chuckles. Every time you raised your hand to ask a question there was always some comment about you sleeping around with the professor. Regardless of who it was. It was frustrating, but you just pushed through. Although Mina certainly wanted to pick a fight with everyone.

“Just let it go.”

“How are you so okay with this?”

“I’m not, but it’ll die down eventually. As long as I don’t engage with them I won’t add fuel to the fire. So don’t pay them any attention.”

“They are slut-shaming you and saying all kinds of shit.”

“And I just have to make it through this semester. After that I can move forward and really build my life. I’m not gonna let some idiots who have nothing better to do ruin that. Besides, I’m sure they’re all just jealous I could actually get a Sugar Daddy, and five at that.”

“You’re not wrong there. Those people don’t just throw money at anyone.”

“I appreciate you ready to fight for me, but this ain’t worth it.”

Mina sighed. “Fine, but if you ever wanna start swinging, just let me know.”

“Will do.”

🖤

    You were right, in part. The teasing did die down, and you could go about your life like normal, but there were still a handful of dicks who found things funny. And one ballsy little fucker who decided to go a step further. As one of your classes ended, and you were gathering your things, another of your peers accidentally spilled their drink all over you.

“Oh shit, my bad. You must be used to getting soaked though.”

    That bastard and his friends snickered to themselves. You knew everyone got the joke, some chuckling too, but of course no one was gonna say anything or take your side. So you just did your best to clean your face, and then whipped around to look at your attacker. Of course it was a boy and his friends, although he got quiet now that you were staring at him dead on.

“Your mistake, right?”

“Yeah. I can be clumsy, you know.”

“Right. So then just pay up and we can call it even.”

“Huh?”

“You said it was your mistake. So pay for it.” You held out your hand. “I think a hundred dollars should cover my hair and clothes.”

“A hundred dollars? You play around with some rich boys and now you think you’re worth all that?”

“So you’re not gonna pay me?”

“Fuck that.”

“Fine then, but we are gonna call it even.”

“What?”

    Without missing a beat you swung at him and clocked him right in the face. He fell back onto his friends, and you noticed a bit of blood from his nose.

“My mistake. I guess we’re even now.”

“You bitch!”

    Not once in your academic career have you ever wound up in the principal’s office, this was the student dean’s office, so not the same but still. You had no problems with words, but things getting physical was crossing a line, and you weren’t going to sit still. You were still drying off as you sat in the dean’s office, listening to that jerk go off about how you were a monster and whatever. You weren’t going to apologize until he did, but that was definitely not gonna happen when his parents walked in. You couldn’t believe he actually called for help like this, and now they were demanding your expulsion. That someone violent like you shouldn’t be at such a place.

“Are you kidding? Are you even looking at me? Your son started this, and couldn’t apologize or pay up for his mistake!”

“A mistake isn’t met with physical violence!”

“He started it!”

“Please, everyone calm down.” The dean spoke. “We can resolve this without yelling.”

“I want that girl expelled.”

“That seems a little too-”

“Do you know how much we give to this school so-”

    The conversation stopped short as the door opened. You couldn’t imagine who else would join this conversation. When you looked back your eyes went wide, and you stood up.

“Sit down, baby.” Johnny said. “We’ll get you cleaned up later.”

“How-”

“Who the hell are you gentlemen?!”

“Y/n’s sponsors.” Jaehyun smiled. “We heard there was a commotion involving her, and by the state she is in, I’m not very happy. What is being done to remedy this?”

“She hasn’t apologized for hitting my son!”

“Has he apologized for his actions?”

“Exactly who are you to be making such demands?”

“Ah, right. I’ve not introduced myself. I’m Jung Jaehyun. These are my friends, Nakamoto Yuta, Johnny Suh, Lee-”

“I know those names…”

“Good. Then apologize before you’re buried.”

“Excu-”

“Or shall this be resolved outside this room?” Ten smiled. “I have no problem doing it that way too. I might actually prefer it.”

    You didn’t care much for an apology, you got to punch the fucker in the face, but getting one was the cherry on top. You didn’t apologize either and the situation was left at that. Now that you had a moment you wanted to go clean up, and the boys wound up dragging you into a gender neutral bathroom. Johnny locked the door, and leaned against it, guaranteeing privacy. You were ready to start screaming and fighting but Yuta turned the sink on, getting the water warm and grabbing paper towels. They weren’t saying anything, and you could silently be grateful for that. You washed up your hair, using the hand dryer to dry it off as best you could. Jeno gave you his jacket afterwards since your shirt was still dirty.

“Alright, what the fuck do you want?”

“We owe you an apology.” Yuta said. “For everything.”

“Go on then.”

“We’re sorry we attacked you the way we did that day.” Jeno began. “We were out of line and completely in the wrong for that.”

“Assholes. You know this is all your fault right? Everyone keeps calling me names because of you! And this was the first time someone dared to take it a step further.”

“We never meant-”

“Then what did you think was gonna happen when you screamed out that I was a whore in the middle of campus?”

“…”

“Good try, I guess.”

“You were right.” Ten admitted. “Four years is a lot of time, and yet throughout it all you never made a move to suggest you wanted anything more from us than attention and money. We never did anything to give you the impression that we wanted more from you either. I’m sure if we had, you would have said something sooner. So you were right, we had no reason to act the way we did. We’ve been seeing each other for a long time and you broke it off so suddenly. Our judgment became clouded, and we let rage overtake us when we should have been better. We can’t simply undo what we did, but we are sincerely sorry for our actions.”

“Hm… was it really that hard to take a moment and reflect?”

“Yeah…” Jaehyun added. “We’ve had such good times together, it was hard to believe you’d just leave us like that… but why was it so sudden? Why didn’t you just talk to us?”

“I… I wasn’t entirely sure how… we weren’t really boyfriend and girlfriend… and it’s not like we had agreed to anything specifically when we started this whole… thing… all I could think of was a break up text… I also didn’t think you’d explode at me the way you did… I mean, I always thought you had girls lined up that you played with or whatever… I didn’t think you’d care that much…”

“Well, as you can see… we care a lot…”

“Yeah… how did you even know I was in trouble?”

“We might have… been paying someone in the administrative office to keep tabs on you for us…”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.” Johnny commented. “We’ve practically been with you throughout your whole academic career. You’re a good student, so we never imagined you’d get into any kind of trouble, but just to be safe. It worked out for us in the end. We’ve been wanting to talk to you, to apologize, we just didn’t really know how to approach you.”

“I see.”

“Which brings us to our other point. Do you think we can do this properly?”

“Do what?”

“We understand that you don’t see us in your future, but can we at least end things on a good note? We’ve been with you for four years now… we were all kinda hoping to see you graduate you know…”

“What exactly are you suggesting here?”

“One last dinner… one last trip…” Yuta mumbled. “That kinda stuff… let us see this to the end. We can just be another part of your Uni days and nothing more.”

“Hm…”

“Can you at least give us that kinda closure?”

    You weren’t really sure how you felt about all this. You had already cut them out of your life, but they were clearly still hanging on. At least they had apologized, and did help you back there in the dean’s office. Truth was the way you handled things wasn’t all that great either. You had been worried that if you just talked to them they’d find some way to convince you to stick around, but that really wasn’t your life plan. Now they understood that, so maybe things could end differently. You also didn’t want to part ways with them on a bad note.

“Just until graduation?”

“We really wanna see you with that cap and gown.” Jeno admitted. “You’ll look so gorgeous.”

“Alright, we can somewhat continue as we were, but after my graduation, we’re done. Understood?”

“Got it.”

“Can we take you out to lunch then?” Ten asked. “Since you’re done with classes for the day.”

“You know my schedule too?”

“We were trying to figure out a way to talk to you…”

“Fine, let me just go change clothes first. I’ll meet you at my usual pick up spot?”

“That works for us.”

🖤

    It had been a while since you last hung out with the boys, so there was a bit of awkwardness. At least this was just lunch to ease back into things. They took you to one of their usual spots, getting a private room and ordering your favorites.

“So, you really just clocked him in the face, huh?”

“He could have paid up. I wasn’t going to let him do that without consequence.”

“Good on you.” Yuta cheered. “Although tryna get you kicked out, that’s ridiculous.”

“I can’t believe he called his parents. Such a momma’s boy.”

“Says the sugar baby.”

“I didn’t call you to come save my ass.”

“Ah, so you agree.” Johnny teased. “We did save you?”

“Well… I wasn’t entirely sure how I was gonna deal with that just yet…”

“We saved you. It’s okay to admit that.”

“You guys just wanna brag to my face.” 

“Is that so wrong?” Jeno teased. “Maybe you can shut me up with a reward.”

“You think you deserve a reward?”

“Don’t I?”

“Hm… what did you have in mind?”

“I have been missing you a lot.”

“Really? You? Or is it someone else?”

“Huh?”

    Jeno had been at your side, and he was leaning in close asking for his reward. Now that you were teasing him back you leaned in too. You placed a hand between his legs, slowly moving it closer to his crotch. After breaking the ice, it was kinda easy to slip back into old dynamics. Besides, maybe you had missed something about them too.

“Oh… you want a reward out of this too, huh?”

“I’ve been good, haven’t I?”

“Easy now.” Jaehyun pulled you away from Jeno. “We’re just having lunch today, baby. Besides, are you still taking the pills?”

You sighed. “I stopped taking them when we parted ways.”

“Then we should probably get you back on them before we start playing. Don’t you think?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“We still have some.” Ten offered. “They should work just fine, right?”

“It shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Excellent. I’ll throw in a pregnancy test or two, just to be safe.”

“Seriously?”

“Well, you took a break from the pill, just a precaution.”

“Fair.”

    Things weren’t exactly like before. They were more respectful of your time. Before they’d always be calling, wanting every moment of free time you had. They’d pick you up Friday night from school, keep you to themselves all weekend most of the time. You only ever got a pass during exam time, and when you had the guts to ask for a break. Usually you didn’t, not wanting to upset them and possibly lose out on your tuition money. It was exhausting, but it was all for a better life. At least that’s what you told yourself. This time around they were more like friends, checking in on you, and asking how you were doing.

    They definitely wanted to see you, but on your own terms. So occasionally you’d go out for lunch, maybe dinner, but nothing too extravagant, as you knew they were gonna go all out for the last trip and dinner. At least with these little outings they always brought you back to campus unlike before where you’d spent the night with them until Sunday afternoon. Things were better this way, kinda making you wish the last four years had been like this too. Although you were actually surprised when they brought up the last trip.

“Spring break?”

“Yeah. Let’s have a blast and unwind before you give it your all for graduation.”

“Uh… well… the thing is…”

“You don’t like it?” Johnny questioned.

“I had already made plans with my friends for spring break… and I thought you’d want to go out on a trip like after my finals…”

“Ah, right. You didn’t intend for us to still be in your life by now.”

“Then how about we split it.” Yuta suggested. “First half of your break, you hang out with your friends. For the second half, we get you all to ourselves.”

“Hm… switch it.”

“Huh?”

“You get the first half, my friends get the second half.”

“How come?”

“Cause you guys can switch your plans around easily, my friends can’t.”

“Fair. So we’ll pick you up Monday morning?” Jeno asked. “Or can we come get you Friday night?”

“Oh, wanna kick things off early?” 

“If you can handle it.”

“Sure. I’ll pack some things after my class.”

“Can’t wait.”

    Even if you were acting cool, you were excited for this trip. They always treated you so well, spoiled you like a princess. This wasn’t gonna be any different. They had been modest so far, but now was their chance to do things like back then. They picked you up in a party bus, starting off strong with drinks, and congratulating you on your midterm exams. Of course karaoke and good food followed, and you were out celebrating until early hours of the morning. Somehow you all made it back to the penthouse sweet. You had a few more drinks before you made it to bed, half dressed with the boys piled around you.

    The morning was a hangover times six, although some of them had it worse than you. Thankfully breakfast was brought up, and hangover cures, so you just had to get up and put food in your mouth. When that failed Johnny was more than happy to feed you, the one of the bunch that could really handle their liquor.  You also needed to get yourself together. The party had only just begun, not to mention all the plans you had with your friends later on in the week. For now though, you just needed to make it through breakfast.

“Had a little too much?”

“I’m good…”

“Your face says otherwise.”

“What’s it telling you?”

“You wanna throw up?”

“I don’t want a bad taste in my mouth.”

“Then some ice cream to help soothe your throat.”

“Ice cream for breakfast?” Jaehyun questioned. “Isn’t that a bad idea?”

“This week is all about bad ideas.”

“So what’s on the agenda for today?” You asked. “More drinks?”

“We want you sober for all the memories we are gonna make. So no more drinks, is that okay?”

“Just fine.”

“Good. We were thinking of some tourist attractions, and some trips to the museums.”

“Jellyfish!”

“Yes. The aquarium is on the list.”

“Awesome!”

    Once you were all better you headed out, taking a limo into town. You had a chance to relax now that you were on break, and really take it all in. This was one of the last times you’d be around here, planning to go home after graduation. The whole day honestly made you feel like a child, indulging in everything you wanted to do or eat. To many you looked like a little sister with her brothers, or maybe just a lucky girl with her friends, but either way, you were glad you didn’t attract any negative attention. Some did recognize the boys, but that never became a problem, so you had nothing to worry about.

    You got to have lunch in the aquarium, watching all the fishes swim, almost feeling like you were in the water with them. The penguins were great too, and the jellyfish, and dolphins. You totally walked out with two or three plushies. For dinner this time you returned to the hotel, having some quality food, but as said before no drinking. Jeno and Yuta still felt the need to embarrass you and make a toast to your health and success in school. They even had a dessert brought out with a candle to once again congratulate you on surviving midterms. Although once back in the suite you better understood why there was a drinking ban.

    As soon as you set foot in the penthouse Johnny picked you up in his arms, taking you to the bedroom. He saw you down and laid you back, his hand caressing your cheek. You could feel one of the others getting your shoes off, and you knew where this was going. It had been a while, but you had been waiting for this. Besides all the attention and money, there was another benefit to having five sugar daddies. No one could ever take care of you the way you did. Johnny leaned down to kiss your lips, his hands reaching down to your shirt, although you stopped him.

“I don’t think you asked permission.”

“I’m not asking tonight, baby.”

“No?”

“You have any idea how bad you’ve been?”

“Me?”

“Breaking up with us.” Jeno hissed into your ear. “Hiding away and trying to leave.”

“I thought we-”

“Sh, unless you wanna cause more trouble.”

“Tonight you’re gonna give us everything we are owed.” Yuta added. “So you better take it all with a smile on your face.”

    Suddenly Johnny had your hands pinned above your head as Jeno pulled up your shirt. He reached over to unhook your bra and push it up, exposing your breasts. He kneaded them for a moment and you bit your lip. His hands were cold, but he knew how you liked his touch. Then you felt hands getting you out of your skirt. The second your panties were exposed there was a hand grabbing your crotch.

“It did always hurt that you never invited us back to your dorm.” Ten commented. “Didn’t want you getting exposed to your roommate?”

“She knew… about our arrangement… sort of…”

“I didn’t say you could speak, baby.” Ten slapped your inner thigh. “Bad girl.”

    You bit your lip, instinctively trying to close your legs but Ten pulled them apart. The boys stripped you out of your clothes, leaving your panties on for the time being. Jaehyun had taken to holding down your arms as Johnny started kissing down your chest, Ten’s hand squeezing your thighs. Yuta and Jeno were already shedding articles of clothing, getting you all the more excited.

“You’ve been a good girl and taking the pills we gave you, right?” Jaehyun asked, and you nodded. “Good. So we can have all kinds of fun tonight.”

    For as long as you had been with them, you had always taken the pill. They didn’t always take you raw, but it was better to be safe than sorry. You were also glad they didn’t play around with that kinda thing, wanting to be safe with you even if they were gonna fill you up to the brim with their seed. Tonight was going to be no different, you figured they’d be desperate to do so. Even if they wanted to tease, they couldn’t help themselves for too long. Soon enough you were all naked, and you were getting attacked with kisses from all angles.

“Who’s first?”

“The eldest.”

    They still cared to make sure you were nice and wet, Johnny stretching you out a good way before giving you everything. It had been so long for you too, abstaining from sex to focus on your studies. You also hadn’t slept with anyone else but them for four years, and weren’t entirely sure how to get laid anymore. Even if it hurt at first, your body was quick to remember this familiar stretch, and feeling. Johnny hadn’t forgotten your body though, doing everything just right, doing it just how you liked it. Not to mention the others knew what to do while waiting their turn. Playing with your tits, stealing kisses, rubbing your clit, using your hands or mouth to warm up. You were gonna wear yourself out long before them, and they really loved when you became putty in their hands.

    Even with all the distractions you couldn’t ignore Johnny as he was the one pounding into you. He was always so rough and precise with his movements, hitting your sweet spot just right. Of course you had been getting yourself off in your dorm, but nothing could compare to one of them taking you over to the edge. You could tell when Johnny got close, he got sloppy and so desperate, trying to hold out to make it all last, but spilling inside you was just as rewarding. The warm feeling between your legs was already making you head spin, but you knew Johnny lost a bit of his touch if he didn’t get you off. He wanted another go, but Jaehyun was already shoving him out of the way.

    His turn was spent and Jaehyun would take pride in finishing you off. He had no problem slipping into the mess that was becoming of your cunt, eager to add to the mix. Of course Johnny wanted to give you a taste too, having you use your tongue to clean him up. If you had taken him all at once you probably would have choked as Jaehyun was giving you everything. He was making it very obvious he had a lot of pent up frustrations he was taking out on you. If he made you feel this good, you wouldn’t mind him holding off more often. Although he wasn’t gonna get the satisfaction of making you cum either as Jeno started playing with your clit, pushing you over to the edge before Jaehyun was even close.

    You squeezed Jaehyun tight, feeling as you were leaking out cum, your head thrown back as your mouth hung open in bliss. You vaguely heard Jaehyun scolding the other boy for taking what was his, but it wasn’t so bad if he got to fuck you while you were so sensitive. He moved with your climax, trying to keep you riding that high for as long as you could, but as you started to come down he got relentless. You couldn’t help but whimper, but that wasn’t gonna make him go any easy. In his own desperation he got close, unable to hold back before cumming inside you, making you overflow.

“Such a messy slut, taking two cocks so well.”

“Let’s make it three.”

    Jeno wanted to go next, but Ten kicked him off. He stuck two fingers into your mess, swearing cum on your belly, and then sticking the digits in your mouth.

“How’s that taste?”

    He swirled his fingers around before pulling them out with a pop. He could be real mean, playing with you when he wasn’t even filling you up. Your whimpers were adorable to him, especially when you got needy enough to start shaking your hips. Now you were begging, and he was happy to give you what you wanted.

“Whore.”

    Hearing those words outside the bedroom certainly wasn’t fun, but in the bedroom, even if it was said with the same level of vileness, you’d happily accept it. Four years, the same five dicks, you were certainly a whore for them. Ten was certainly on the more elegant side, working you over along with him, knowing how to get you on his level so you’d both climax together. Even being a little out of practice with your body, he could still play you like an instrument. He always held your hands when he had his way with you, wanting more than just your cunt to squeeze him tight, he wanted to feel the rest of your body shake. You’ve left him with marks before, and he’d happily welcome them now.

“At a girl, still know who owns you.”

    You swear you saw white when he made you cum, drool slipping down your face. It was only your second orgasm, but you knew they could get more out of you. As many as they pleased. There was a safe word in place, but in all the years you had known them, you never used it. They seemed to know your limits as well as you did. Before you could even properly come down Jeno was already kissing at your chest, sucking on your nipples as he edged himself inside. The noise that was heard as he pushed aside everyone else’s seed to get in, an all too familiar sound you did quite enjoy to hear.

“You’re already so full, baby, can you take more?”

“Yes…”

“That’s what I like to hear.”

    These sheets were gonna need to be thrown out when you were all done. You were already creating such a mess, and it wasn’t much compared to other nights. At least not yet. Jeno was practically digging into you, pushing in as cum came out. They had all had their turns before, being first or last or in the middle, so they wouldn’t complain about what stage they got to you. There were five of them after all, so they had to be good about sharing. Jeno was eager to make you unwind, so he gave you plenty of attention elsewhere. Twirling around your clit with his fingers, seeing it get red and swollen, another hand on your hip, keeping you from escaping him. He did it well enough you came first, already so sensitive, and he soon followed.

    You felt so fucken full you swear you were gonna burst, but you were just out of practice. Yuta peppered you with kisses, telling you how well you were doing. His fingers dipped into your sloppy cunt, having you get a taste of it. You certainly didn’t expect him to kiss you after, but they didn’t just play around with you. They had each other after all. You were already so overstimulated and lost, Yuta was kind enough to give you a little break before taking what was rightfully his. He had no problem playing around with your cunt for a while before dipping into the mess. He fit in nicely, having a pretty good idea how to keep you happy despite your state. He was ruthless, just as frustrated as Jaehyun, taking it all out on you and sparking you back to life. You really missed them.

    Now either the orgasm or Yuta made you pass out, but either way, you blacked out for a while. When you came to you were lying on the floor with your legs up in the air, clearly having fallen off to the side of the bed. Although Jeno was happily sleeping on your tummy, sighing dreamily and clearly cozy. You giggled at the sight. Sometimes you really did forget they were all close to your age, and yet living such different lives. You let Jeno stay for a while before you realized this position was very uncomfortable. You poked Jeno’s face to make him open his eyes.

“Why didn’t you pick me up? Do you think this is comfortable?”

“You looked cute, almost like you were drunk.”

“But I’m not.”

“Well, maybe not drunk off alcohol.” Jeno giggled and got up. “We were all out of it.”

“Obviously.”

    You got up, sitting down properly, well aware that you were leaking cum all over the floor, but that wasn’t for you to worry about now. Some of the others were lying in bed, and you crawled up to join them, pressing lazy kisses to exposed skin. This was all a little break for everyone. The night was still young, and even if you were four orgasms in, it was just one for each of them. They were greedy, and would certainly get what they wanted out of you, whether you were conscious or not. Waking up with a cock inside you wasn’t new, but certainly something you could picture for a night like this.

🖤

    You didn’t actually wake up properly until the afternoon. After that you knew the next day would be nothing but a lazy day. Somehow you managed to get up and get into the shower, knowing you needed a deep clean. Although you dozed off until Yuta found you sitting in the tub. He had the energy to join you and help clean you up, which you were grateful for. You returned the favor as well, the two of you the first to eat lunch from room service, waiting around for the others. When you were well enough you stepped out of the penthouse so they could clean up, heading to a park to enjoy the weather and sun. 

    The rest of your little trip was like that. You had some more fun at night, but not too much. Besides, you’d be going off with your friends, and you didn’t need to be completely worn out. Overall it was a good trip, a good last trip, one you knew you’d never forget. When the time came they dropped you off back at Uni, wishing you well with your friends, asking you to let them know if you needed anything. You thanked them for the adventure, glad you could still have all that. It felt more authentic given that this was really you going out with them as friends, not getting paid for your company.

    Of course at some point your friends had to ask about your little trip. Anyone who knew you now knew about your sugar daddies, so there was no point lying about it. You spilled what you were comfortable with, and just enjoyed your time with them. You couldn’t believe this was your last spring break, but you were so happy to have them with you. It was hard to fall asleep Sunday night, knowing what awaited you the next day, but you had enough good memories to get you through the door. So come Monday morning, you weren’t actually dead as you got to class, unlike most of your peers.

    The professors weren’t all going to be kind, so it was back to work like before. This was the final stretch for you, focus and study hard, and you’d be graduating. A part of you couldn’t actually believe it, but you had to, you couldn’t fuck this up. So you put a lot off to the side, including the boys. You still texted them, but you couldn’t do any mini dates, and they were very understanding. Even if you were the one working your butt off, they were just as nervous and as excited as you were. Although all that focus distracted you from something that was just as important.

“Holy shit, I’m late.”

“What?”

“I was due like last week. Fuck.”

“Aren’t you on the pill?”

“That’s not foolproof.”

“Fair. Are you sure it isn’t stress though? I’m pretty sure I’ve missed a period or two cause of classes.”

“I don’t think I have before…”

“Well you are gonna graduate in a month. That is if you pass your finals.”

“Don’t fucken jynx it!”

“I’m just saying. You’ve probably never been stressed like this before. Athletes wind up not having a period for months cause of the stress they’re under.”

“I’m not a professional athlete.”

“Then go buy a pregnancy test and see if one of your sugar daddies is gonna be a father.”

“I wouldn’t fucken tell them. We’ve always been careful.”

“Then it’s just the stress. Problem solved. Also, don’t you have class soon?”

“Fuck. I do. I’ll get a pregnancy test later.”

“Cool, see you later.”

    You really didn’t think you’d be pregnant. You were careful, for the last four years, and you were very sexually active. Mina had a point though, you were under a lot of stress with graduation, but you had to be sure. Thankfully instead of buying one you remember the boys had given you some when they got you the pills. After classes you returned and used one of the tests, relieved to see it came out negative. So it really was just stress, and you were quite amazed it could do that to your body. Regardless, that was one less thing to worry about.

    To a degree you did feel bad you couldn’t see the boys after spring break, it had been quite a trip considering it was the last, but your academics were important. They wished you luck with finals, and you were ready for the last major exams of your life. You waited anxiously for the results, overjoyed that you had passed, and you were going to graduate. You had to celebrate, doing so with your friends. It was only once things wound down that you called the boys wanting to share the news.

“So, how did it go?”

“I passed… I’m graduating!”

“I knew you could do it.” Jeno cheered. “Our baby is so smart.”

“We’ve got to celebrate.” Johnny added. “Shall we pick you up?”

“I’ve already been partying, and I’m kinda spent. Maybe tomorrow?”

“Nah, it’s okay, you should rest. Don’t drink so much, okay.”

“I haven’t had a drink, can’t risk becoming a drunk mess before I take the stage.”

“Can we take you shopping!” Yuta asked. “Get you a nice dress for graduation?”

“I’d love that actually. Perhaps the one thing you guys can get me that I’ll keep.”

“If we don’t rip it off you.”

“True. Tomorrow then, shopping day.”

“We can’t wait.”

    Shopping wasn’t something to make a big deal out of, but how could you all not be excited. You’d be walking across the stage in the outfit you bought today, it had to be perfect. Not to mention the five guys buying it might wanna destroy it later, so you had to get good pictures first.

“We were thinking, after the ceremony, we’d take you out to dinner.”

“The last dinner.”

“Of course.” Ten smiled. “If that’s okay.”

“Yeah. It seems like a fitting end for us.”

“You better not cry.”

“I won’t.”

“Hm, guess we’ll see about that.”

    The big day brought on a lot of nerves, you could barely sleep the night before. Although when the sun was up, you and Mina were already getting dolled up, and she loved your outfit.

“You look hot.”

“Thanks.”

“So you really can’t come with me for dinner.”

“I already promised the boys. It’s the last one. Besides, I wanna see what kind of graduation present they get me.”

“Oh, they’ll probably give you a lot of money. Maybe a house.”

“That’d be awesome.”

“You better tell me immediately.”

“I’m sure I won’t be able to keep it a secret from you, so don’t worry.”

    Even if you looked stunning, it was mostly hidden by the gown. Still, you looked incredible and you couldn’t believe you had made it to the end. When you headed to the ceremony you looked around taking it all in. Even if you wanted your family there, you knew things had come up so they couldn’t attend. It’s why you were so happy to see the boys, knowing they were there for you. Although they did embarrass you a bit, Jeno and Yuta having a big congratulations sign, the others swinging around noise makers. Of course it dragged to wait for your name, but when it was your turn up on the stage you had the biggest smile, finding the boys in the crowd to show off too.

    You had tears in your eyes, so happy that all your efforts hadn’t been in vain. The boys had made their way over to you, embracing you in their arms, congratulating you over and over again. They said your tears were cute, but they were very proud of you. They even had flowers and a graduation bear as a present for you. They wanted pictures too, so you did your best to get rid of the tears and fix your makeup. After celebrating with your other friends and seeing the ceremony to the end you headed off to eat. You weren’t really hungry from all the adrenaline, but it was your last meal with the guys, and a very important one at that.

“You looked so beautiful up there.” Johnny complimented. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you. I’m glad you could be there.”

“Us too.”

“So, what did you get me?”

“After you eat.” Ten said. “So be a good girl and have your fill.”

“I’ll burn a hole in your wallet tonight. Just watch.”

“I’d love to see you try.”

    There was something so peaceful about this meal, and exciting. They all asked about your plans going forward, what you wanted to do. Of course this was where you’d part ways, but you knew there was always a chance you’d run into each other again. Despite all the good things, you couldn’t help but wonder what your present was. After dessert they finally presented you with a little box. Now your heart was racing. It could be a key to a car or house, or maybe a card to a bank account they had made you. Still, you thanked them all and opened the box. Your smile faltered as you stared at the contents, dumbfounded.

“It’s… it’s a pregnancy test…”

“Surprise!”

“I… I don’t understand…”

“Well, you always talked about your future.” Jaehyun explained. “And how we weren’t a part of that. It really hurt, but you were right. So we figured we should include ourselves in your future.”

“I’m not… following…”

“You’re late, aren’t you?”

“Yes, but I took a pregnancy test already. It came out negative. The stress-”

“The one I gave you was fake.” Ten said. “It’s meant to come out negative.”

“What… what are you…”

“The best way to become a part of your future is for you to have our kid.” Yuta stated. “Of course we’re probably not gonna know which of us is the biological father, unless you had like quintuplets, but we can raise it together.”

“What…”

“Of course we’ll cover all the expenses.” Johnny assured. “So you don’t have to worry about food, or a roof over your head, nothing. We’re gonna be a big happy family now.”

“You’re… you’re lying… you… I’m on the pill!”

“Those were also fake.” Jeno added. “A placebo thing, right? Like sugar.”

“You planned this!”

“How else were we gonna be part of your future?”

“Truth is we always imagined a future with you.” Ten admitted. “After about a year, we realized how great you were, how perfect you were for us. So when you suddenly broke it off, we couldn’t believe it, but you were also right. We never really let you know we wanted you, so that’s on us, but we’ve rectified that now.”

“You’re fucken lying!” You stood up. “You did not get me fucken pregnant!”

“Shall we go confirm that?”

    You were furious, and you hated that they were throwing this idea out so casually. You took the pregnancy test and stormed off to the bathroom. They had rented out the whole restaurant, so you didn’t have to worry about anyone else. You nervously used the test, scared to look at the results, but they were clear as day.

“Positive…”

“Congratulations!!!”

    The boys had followed you to the bathroom, cheering and letting off confetti poppers. You stayed frozen in shock, trying to process this.

“It’s wrong… the test…”

“You can try again.” Jaehyun threw more pregnancy tests on the floor. “Better to use more than one anyway.”

“You… you…”

“Even if there wasn’t a baby inside you right now.” Yuta explained. “We’d have plenty of time to impregnate you now that you’ve graduated.”

“No… no you’re all fucken nuts…”

    You threw the test in the trash and intended to leave, only for Johnny to grab your arm, holding you back. Jeno was all over your belly, grabbing it and making baby noises.

“Easy now, baby. Now that you’re carrying our kid, we gotta take special care of you.”

“I am not having this baby!”

“That’s not up for debate.”

“It’s my body! And you fucken-”

“You think you can just play with us for four years?!” Jaehyun grabbed your chin, making you face him. “Four years, baby doll. That’s a lot of time to fall in love with a beautiful body and the girl that inhabits it. We weren’t playing, and we’re not gonna let you either. Your future is ours.”

“Fuck you! I didn’t consent to this! I’m not-” Jaehyun’s grip got tighter. “Let go…”

“You gotta be careful baby, don’t want you hurting yourself or the kid. We have a nice place picked out where we can look after you.”

“Let go!”

“Listen closely, darling.” Ten had Jaehyun let you go, stepping before you. “If anything happens to that baby, you are going to pay dearly for it. And don’t get any silly ideas in your head, you’re still young and very fertile, we have no problem tying you up and breeding you every night if something happens. So be a good girl, and smile, you’re gonna be a mother.”

“You’re crazy!”

“And you’re very hormonal, must be the baby. We should get you home.”

“No, no! Fucken let me go!”

“I can’t wait for the pregnant waddle.” Jeno cheered. “You’re gonna get so big!”

“I wonder if it’ll be a boy or girl.” Yuta said. “Maybe there’s more than one in there!”

“That’d be so cool.” 

“We’re gonna be dads!”

“I can’t wait!”

[rorywritesjunk]

I can’t tell where the journey will end But I know where to start

Prequel to my Kid Buggy fic, set about 11-ish years before that story.

Buggy meets you by chance when he needs his buttons sewn back onto his jacket. He’s young, up and coming, and he thinks everyone should cower before him wherever he goes, but all you do is smile at him.

Rating: PG-13ish just for some swearing. Warning: Buggy’s in his early 20s. He’s an asshole. He just is because I wanted to write him loud, demanding, everything. Also, I’m not nice to Buggy when he tries to flirt. I definitely write him as a bit of a disaster when it happens. It’s just going to get a bit worse from here. This chapter is just kind of fluffy. Buggy deserves it. A/N: I have no idea when Buggy became a Captain, so he’s a fresh faced captain in this. No clue how long this fic will be.

Title comes from “Wake Me Up” by Avicii.

TAGLIST: @lostfirefly @ane5e @kingofthemfingpirates @the-angriest-angel @tiredemomama @valen-yamyam16 @i-reblog-fics-i-like @plethora-of-fickleness @uhnanix

Chapter 1 + Chapter 2 + Chapter 3 + Chapter 4 + Chapter 5 + Chapter 6 + Chapter 7 + Chapter 8 + Chapter 9 + Chapter 10 + Chapter 11 + Chapter 12 + Chapter 13 + Chapter 14 + Chapter 15 + Chapter 16 + Chapter 17 + Chapter 18 + Epilogue

Chapter 10

Miss Pins was kind enough to let Buggy upstairs to the living space to get dried off. The storm was pretty bad and she knew you would be dumb enough to walk him back to his ship like this, so she offered him a blanket and a spot on the kitchen floor to sleep, which he begrudgingly took while you came back to the kitchen in a pink fluffy robe with some towels for him to dry off with and a dry pair of clothes. You saw the blanket on the floor and frowned at him as your boss left.

“Does she want you to sleep on the floor, Buggy?” You asked as you unfolded a towel and started to dry his hair for him. “Because it’s too cold and hard. You’ll get sick.”

“I’ll be fine.” He replied, voice muffled from the towel as you dried his face next, being mindful of his nose. “Not the worst place to sleep.”

“My bed can fit two people.” You said as you handed him the other towels and clothes. “You can get changed in my room while I make us some tea.” 

He looked at you in surprise, face flush at the suggestion. Share a bed with you? Granted, you did before back on his ship when he was drunk, but he just confessed how he felt to you only twenty minutes ago and you were offering to share your bed with him? Really? 

You took his hand and led him down the hall to your room. “Come back to the kitchen when you’re ready.”

He was left alone after that. He stepped into your room and shut the door, taking a moment to check everything out. The dress you wore was hung up behind the door, drying out from the rain. There were some pictures on your dresser of what he assumed to be your parents and you, all smiling big. He picked up a photo of what he figured was you as a kid when you were still with your parents, and he squinted at it for a moment before setting it back down. It was nice to see you smiling in all the photos, and that you looked genuinely happy in every single one.

He stripped off his wet clothes and dried off, still looking around. There really wasn’t much in there except various articles of clothes hung up. Were they all yours or were these orders you worked on in your room? 

The clothes you chose seemed to fit him. He didn’t know what to do with his wet things so he opened your wardrobe and found some hangers, figuring he could at least hang them for you since you’ve been doing everything else for him. Once he finished he returned to the kitchen where you were getting two cups ready with some tea. You looked up and smiled at him.

“Feel any warmer?” You asked. “Probably feels good to get out of those wet clothes.”

He shrugged and sat down at the table, leaning back in his chair. You went over to him and leaned down to give him a kiss, startling him to the point where he almost tipped his chair back, but you grabbed the back of the chair to prevent it. 

“W-What was that for?” He asked, clearing his throat as he straightened up in his seat. You just shrugged as you went to the stove to pour the hot water into the mugs.

“Just felt like it.” You replied as you brought the mugs over to the table. “Let it sit for a few minutes, okay?”

He looked at the tea and back at you. “You’re not… upset by what I said?”

“Back at the lake?” You said as you sat down across from him. “About being in love with me? No.”

“Really?” 

“Why would I be upset, Buggy?” You asked, frowning as you tilted your head to the side. “I told you that I’m starting to fall in love with you as well.”

“Y-Yea, but…” He hesitated. The doubt was coming back. What if you just said it to be nice to him? Maybe you weren’t really falling in love with him, just putting up with him until he left again and you’d fall for someone else, someone better than him even. Taller, more handsome, didn’t have a stupid red nose on their face. 

“Buggy, why would I bring you to my home if I didn’t like you?” You asked as you reached across the table to take his hand in yours. “And if I didn’t like you then I wouldn’t be offering to share my bed with you. I’d let you suffer on the kitchen floor.”

He nodded slowly, looking down at his hand in yours, your thumb caressing his knuckles gently. That’s probably true, you wouldn’t be doing these nice things for him if you didn’t somewhat like him. 

“You’re sweet, Buggy, and I like that about you.” You told him. “But I would like to hear why you’re in love with me.” 

Oh. He didn’t think he’d want you to hear that. Where did he even begin? 

“You’re nice to me.” He paused and frowned. “Genuinely nice to me.”

“Oh, Buggy…”

“What? It's the biggest reason!” He insisted, but you just looked at him sadly as you gave his hand a squeeze.

“If you give me names of anyone who's ever hurt you, I'll make them pay.”

Well, he wasn't expecting that response. Did you even have a mean bone in your body? Buggy shook his head, trying to reassure you but it didn’t seem to be working. “No, no, it's fine. I'm fine.” 

“If you're sure…” You didn’t let go of his hand. The fact that you being nice to him was the biggest reason he fell in love with you made your heart hurt. You were raised to treat everyone with kindness, no matter who they were. 

“I also liked how you took care of me after my birthday.” He continued as he picked up his cup of tea. “You didn’t expect anything in return.” He took a careful sip before setting it back down. “You’ve helped me out a lot when you didn’t have to. You could have just left me at the restaurant and you never laughed at me.”

It was supposed to be sweet, his words, but honestly it just made you sad. Didn’t he ever have someone to help him out when he needed it? Why did it take you just being nice to make him fall in love with you like this? 

“Have people done that to you?” You asked, voice cracking just a bit. “Laugh at you when you need help? Why?”

“What? N-No, you’re not supposed to be upset when I tell you this!” He exclaimed, looking flustered. “I’m telling you good things, why I’m in love with you! It should make you happy!”

“I-I am happy, but Buggy, those are just… just things anyone should do!” You sniffed. “Things people do for people they care about.”

“... yea, well…” He crossed his arms and looked away. “I appreciate it, okay? It… means a lot to me.”

You suddenly got up and went over to him; he looked up at you, wondering what was happening, when you suddenly leaned down and wrapped your arms around him, hugging him tightly. He leaned into your touch and closed his eyes, hopeful that he could always get a hug from you. Honestly it was starting to become one of his favorite things whenever he saw you. There was just a feeling of safety whenever you held him, familiarity, and he wanted to be able to experience it forever.

You pulled away after a moment and he started to reach out to pull you back, but you put your hands on his cheeks and leaned down to kiss him softly. He was perfectly fine getting a kiss instead of a hug, leaning towards you as his hands went to your waist. The position was a little uncomfortable, so it wasn't surprising when you finally pulled back, looking down at him as your thumbs stroked his cheeks carefully.

“I want you to be taken care of, Buggy.” You told him. “I want you to know what it's like to be loved and cared for.”

“What? Why?”

You shook your head and chuckled softly. “Because anyone would want that, Buggy, and I want that for you.”

He sat up a bit straighter in his chair, praying it didn't suddenly break under him when he asked, “... Like from you?”

“Me?” 

“Yes!” He insisted. “If I want someone to love and care for me, I want it to be from you! I just told you I'm in love with you, Sunny! And, and I only want to be with you!”

You looked at him, tilting your head to the side with a bit of a frown before you smiled and chuckled softly. “Is this your way of asking me to marry you?”

Buggy was speechless for a moment before turning red and nodding quickly. “It is now!”

Shaking your head, you kissed him again before returning to your seat. “I want a proper proposal, Buggy, with flowers and a ring, but not yet, okay? Wait at least until I'm finished with my apprenticeship.”

“Fine.” He crossed his arms as he leaned back in his seat, smirking over at you. “Gives me time to get you the best ring then.”

“I'll be waiting then.” You told him as you took a sip of your tea.

~

Buggy woke up the next morning convinced he had the best sleep of his life. You were still asleep, arms wrapped around him tightly with his head tucked under your chin. Normally he moved around in his sleep, tossing and turning, but he was content to be held against you instead. 

He should get back to his ship, check in on the crew so they knew he was alive, but he wanted an extra few minutes with you before he had to get up.

When you finally stirred, sighing heavily as you started to open your eyes, he tried to pretend to still be asleep, shutting his eyes and hiding his head under the covers. You kissed the top of his head, running your fingers through his hair lovingly as you held him.

“You’re so sweet.” You murmured softly as you rested your chin on the top of his head as you stroked his hair. “I’m sorry if others don’t see that.”

Oh, that was nice to hear, actually, and it made him feel better about how yesterday went with him telling you how he felt, and the stress and anxiety he was having over it and how you might actually feel about him seemed to go away just a bit. 

Buggy didn’t want to move just yet, he wanted to hear if you were going to say anything else to him while he pretended to sleep. You pulled the covers off him just enough for you to kiss him on the forehead, which he was okay with, he wanted you to just hold him and kiss him whenever you wanted, it was reassuring that you liked him, that you wanted him around you, and he felt pretty good about the fact that you seemed okay with him wanting to marry you. 

He just needed to be patient, wait like you asked him to do, and find the perfect ring for you.

[rokhal]

Resident Evil 7 Biohazard whatever is an amazing portrait of the impact of methamphetamine in the rural US. Everything from the textures to the design of the environment to the story itself.

I guess, as an American, I should be used to living in a media panopticon where everyone knows how we talk and what our houses look like, but the Baker estate is not like a movie set or an influencer's home. There's real clutter, the kind that accumulates when you haven't moved cross-country in over ten years and your kids have grown up: kennels for cats who've lived and died, tool boxes, riding mowers, plastic bags full of plastic bags, pool toys. The age of the house shows, not just in the dated wallpaper and cupboards, but in the glimpses we get through the crumbling walls of construction techniques that have been obsolete for eighty years. The pegboard as wallboard. The cludged-together, homeowner-grade repairs of railings and staircases. The immersion is total. This could be any rural home I've ever visited whose owners lost the battle against entropy.

Houses on cheap land can get big. Real big. The Bakers appear to have inherited a plantation house, but there's a lot more on the property. It's perfectly normal to build a mother-in-law apartment and park a trailer in your backyard when you've got the land. Code inspector? What code inspector? You don't need no stinkin' permits. You're not gonna sell, and if you do, the buyer can figure out what they want to do with your wobbly deck.

You own the house and you've got no neighbors to complain about their property values. If you've got money, you trick out your garage. Get a lift. Get a hoist. Fuck it, dig an oil pit. You can do it! That's your man shed. Build some racks out of hog panel and hang all your tools in some haphazard arrangement that makes sense only to you. You've got to be your own mechanic if you want to keep your vehicles running.

Then there's the Baker family themselves. They were nice. Normal. Probably voted for Trump, but so did everyone they know. Of course they'd take pity on a nice white woman and a little girl begging for shelter, they're not animals. Jack was ex-military and pushy; Marguerite was socialized to stand by him whether or not he treated her well; Lucas was an amoral genius who couldn't make it in the real world; Zoe was at least prepared to fly the nest but either she'd tried and had to retreat, or she hadn't quite gotten up the nerve.

By the time we meet them, Jack and Marguerite are caricatures of themselves. Violent, paranoid, impulsive, irrational, moody. They can barely even function. Marguerite's kitchen is swarming with cockroaches and flies, and Jack's outbursts destroy the furniture and walls of the home that he was once proud of. The areas where Jack and Marguerite live are heaped with garbage bags, dimly lit, and filthy.

Every time we meet Lucas, he's wired as hell. Lucas seems hyperfunctional, constructing his elaborate traps and escape rooms, except he can't make the details come together. He lines the walls of his areas with white plastic sheeting, but the mold creeps through the seams anyway. He doesn't bother to change the codes on his padlocks. He toys with Ethan and banks on Ethan being too dumb to shove a bomb through a conveniently placed hole in the wall.

Zoe can still be reasoned with, but we see her fears in her diary. We see the tinfoil taped over her window to block the light.

Lucas, Jack, and Marguerite exhibit behavioral changes consistent with early, chronic, and long-term methamphetamine abuse. Their house bears the same marks of frenetic remodeling, ambitious yet ill-conceived design choices, repetitive behaviors, and neglect that scar so many homes occupied by meth addicts.

Meth is like other drugs in that it rewires the brain to promote drug-seeking behavior, but it also over time causes the brain to atrophy. Signs resembling dementia or schizophrenia eventually occur, accompanied by cognitive decline, and much of this is permanent. It becomes harder for the user to fight back against their dependency (against Eveline) the longer they use the drug (the deeper Eveline's mold works into their bodies).

This is an American horror story, it's a familiar American horror story, and it's a love letter to our country from Japan that seems to me to say, "We're so sorry about what you're going through. Here, shoot some mold-monsters about it."

[tokillamockingbird427]

Random assorted Ghosts headcanons

Keegan has an intense affinity for chocolate milk. Man enjoys it so much he'd probably drink it with every meal and fill his water bottle with it if Elias didn't interfere. (Elias has caught him chugging from the jug once. It was like three am and Keegan was too tired to get a cup. It's his personal jug so no harm done, but Elias just... he can't deal with it. Cardinal sin.)

Speaking of Elias, man knows the "youngin" lingo and uses it just to dick with Hesh and Logan. Likes dropping "You're cringe." at random times just to see the his sons crumble like he verbally shot them.

On the other hand, Merrick knows the lingo, but doesn't understand how to use it. He's right like once a day with it and the splash effect from it is marvelous. (Calls Hesh cringe when Hesh complains that he's too nervous to ask out this chick he's been talking to and Logan laughs so hard he genuinely can't breathe for a few minutes.)

You know those little mini skateboard toys? Kick has a collection of those, and he's entirely too good at doing tricks with them. Hesh thinks it's so fucking cool (He likes skateboards.) but sucks at tricks. (Trains in secret to try and impress Kick.)

Logan carries a tablet on him 24/7 so he can type shit out for people who don't know ASL, but also because he has a sound effects board and likes dropping random vine booms in conversations. "Me and Kick were hanging out the other day an-" *Vine boom* "Logan I am gonna take that damn thing away from you so help me-" *VINE BOOM* "LOGAN!" He will also walk past people and do a lil fart noise, it's hilarious cus he does to to Merrick the most and it makes him so mad.

Cuter hc. Elias asked Logan what he wanted to be when he got older (When he was like seven.) and Logan answered "David!" (I am a big fat sucker for the whole "Logan looks up to Hesh more than anyone else." headcanon okay? They're so cute.)

Hesh and Logan doing dumb sibling shit like "Beating the everloving fuck" out of each other worries Merrick because he didn't have siblings, so he always has to ask Elias is he should interfere. Elias's #1 answer is always "When one of them starts crying." because he knows his kids are tough shit. (And also that they won't hurt each other on purpose.)

Logan and Keegan both have such intense sweet tooths that they can and will just eat straight sugar out of the bag if there isn't any candy or other sweets at their post. Elias keeps an emergency jar of candy... which is also just his personal stash so he doesn't have to share with the fiends.

Hesh Logan and Riley are literally inseparable. It's ridiculous. If for whatever reason one of them is actually separated from the others, it's probably for a genuinely bad reason. (They had a fight, one of them got hurt, one of them got lost, etc.)

Despite Riley being younger than Logan, they consider him the "Middle sibling." Logan is always "little brother" and Hesh is always "big brother" that way.

Logan and Hesh constantly steal each others clothes to the point where their wardrobes have just fused. They can't even remember what piece of clothing originally belonged to who. The sizing can clue them in, but also: Logan likes baggy clothes and Hesh likes fitted. So the mixup intensifies. They also just steal their dads stuff from time to time. Mainly hoodies. Irritates the shit out of Elias. (Not really.) Uses his lack of hoodies to bitch about the weather 24/7.

Riley leaves dog toys scattered all over the ghosts current post and there's always a little "easter egg hunt" when they're moving places because of it.

[ladyloveandjustice]

The Liveblogyssey! (Part 2)

It's been a little while but it's time for more liveblogging The Odyssey! See the liveblog from the beginning here.

So what’s happening with Penelope while Telemachus is off gallivanting around?

Well the suitors are plotting to kill Telemachus as soon as he gets back, which Penelope’s house boy informs her of, and to which she responds “wait a fucking second, he LEFT? Without telling me? And none of you said anything?”

And everyone says "well in our defense he didn’t want us to tell you because he thought you would stop him” and she’s like “YEAH!!! I WOULD HAVE!”

I love this one guy who’s just like “well he’ll either come back home or he’s met his fate”. Super comforting, thank you for your contribution.

Penelope goes to her room to cry and pray to Athena. So Athena decides to show up in Penelope’s dreams in disguise and use that opportuniy do a shameless self plug. I’m not kidding it's like

Athena (in disguise): Don't worry about your husband, girl,  he’s got Athena in his corner. She’s a helper many men have prayed to have! She has great power! She’s the COOLEST god, the BEST god perhaps--

Penelope: Uh. Are you actually Athena? Because I feel like you’re Athena. Athena please tell me where my husband is”

Athena: who knows. Bye.

Athena then goes up to Zeus and is like “okay so Telemachus is going to die if we don’t do something, do you feel like helping out. At all.” And Zeus is like “daughter, this was all your idea in the first place??? You wanted him to go on a heroic quest right??? Figure it out” But he does send Hermes to tell Calypso to stop imprisoning and raping Odysseus.

Calypso points out this is a fairly hypocritical thing for Zeus to scold her about (true), and why is it okay for Gods like Zeus to rape mortals and toy with them but when Goddesses do it SUDDENLY IT’S A BIG DEAL? HASHTAG DOUBLE STANDARDS.

Calypso is literally the shallow lean-in type feminist who wants women to be equal simply so we can be corrupt CEOS and oppress more people like men get to do and that’s so funny. Some things are timeless.

I mean yeah, she’s technically right that it’s unfair, but girl, is Zeus what we want to aspire to here? Can we not aim higher?

She also mentions that every time a Goddess takes a mortal lover people kill that man and cites Demeter and Iason (saying Zeus killed him because double standards) and Dawn (Eos) and Orion (saying Artemis killed Orion because double standards).

So of course I had to look them up! The thing with Zeus definitely does reek of double standards, Demeter slept with a dude (CONSENSUALLY TOO! Amazing!) and Zeus got jealous and immediately killed him with a lightning bolt. He and Hera really do have some things in common!

But while there are several myths about Orion and Artemis, I don’t see any ones where her killing him had anything to do with him being a lover of Eos. In fact her reasons for killing him are either extremely justified or she does it accidentally. She either killed him because he raped this girl (valid and correct), she can kill him because he tries to assault HER. A GODDESS. (Dumb bitch definitely deserved to die for that).

Then there's the second-funniest version of Orion’s death. Basically Apollo notices Artemis has been hanging out with him too much when she should be spending time with HIM, so while Orion’s swimming, Apollo points to the dark shape in the distance, is like “bet you can’t hit that with your arrow! bet you can’t!” and Artemis is like “Yes the fuck I can!” and then kills Orion. Siblings are always pulling those silly little pranks!!!

(The absolute FUNNIEST way Orion can die is when he’s hanging out with Artemis, brags he’s going to hunt and kill every animal on earth,Gaia’s like “bitch no you won’t” and kills him with a giant scorpion)

Anyway, where was I. Yeah so Calypso’s assessment of why Artemis killed Orion appears to possibly be inaccurate.

Calypso goes down to Odysseus who’s just been sitting there on the beach sobbing about how much he misses home. Apparently he's been doing this every single day but Calypso just now decided to notice. He also talks of “not wanting her even though she still wanted him” Definitely rape!

There is an possible implication it might have been consensual at one point with the specific phrasing in this translation “she no longer pleased him”. Doesn’t matter if it was since you can take back your consent at any time, so it IS rape now regardless, but boy the people who are like “he never cheated on Penelope how dare you imply!!!" are going to hate me acknowledging this ambiguous phrasing, huh.

So when Calypso tells him he can get on a raft and go home, he’s like “yeah. So. I don’t believe you. You’re 100% going to murder me on that raft, lady.” and can you blame him?

Calypso gives him clothes but before he leaves she makes sure to be like “I don’t get why you’re so into your wife. I’m definitely hotter than her. Look at me. Look at my sexy body. Also I’m taller than her too.” (It comes up a couple time that women being tall is apparently desirable in Ancient Greece, which is an interesting reminder that beauty standards are fake and change constantly throughout time and cultures).

So Odysseus goes sailing off but Poseidon sees him while hanging out with his horses and says “nuh uh” and makes the sea all deadly. Odysseus is just ready to give up, going “I seriously wish the Trojans has killed me at this point, it’s better than having gods torturing me endlessly at least I would have gotten a funeral.” Poor guy.

Fortunately a passing goddess Ino takes pity and helps him. And! She says! “Why does enraged Poseidon create an odyssey of pain for you?” That’s right! Even Ancient Literature know the art of the title drop! And that’s a good place to pause for now.

[sugarsfics]

Idol

Summary: You were your little brother’s Dustin idol from the day he opened his eyes, that was until Steve “the hair” Harrington came along. God how you hate Steve.  But does he hate you?

Trope: Steve x Henderson!reader; enemies to lover 

Warning: Cussing, Dustin being a jerk but makes up for it, talks of the events of season 2 and 3, upside down, bad writing  

Word count: 1.8k  

Ever since your little brother Dustin was born, he has been attached to your hip. He looked up to you, he wanted to be just like you. You’re the one you got him in to DnD, his character was the same as yours but male version. He was always in your room reading your books, listening to your music, he always wanted to hear the gossip of what was happening in high school. You love it, it was nice to have someone who wants to be like you. You were riding on this high that came crashing down too soon for your liking. The cause of the crash was Steve Harrington. Your brother bonded with Steve, while you were trying to help Jonathan, Joyce and Nancy get the mind flayer out of Will, Steve had the kids. Next thing you knew Steve was Dustin new idol.  

 After the gate was closed the kids had a nice night at the Snowball. Dustin came out of the bathroom with his hair all did up. “Woah what is going on the mane-ow" “Don’t touch it” “Whatever you say little brother...Mom is going to snap some pictures then we will hop in my car” “Oh um I don’t need a ride” “I am not going to let you bike there you will mess up your suit” “No Steve is taking me” your blood boil at the name Steve “Why is he taking you” “He is going to help me with the ladies” “Ladies?” “Yeah, he helped me with my hair” is this what heartbreak felt like your brother is choosing Steve Harrington over you “Well your hair looks s-” knock knock what broke your heart even more is seeing his face light up “Steve’s here” he beamed. He ran to the door and opened it “Steve my man” “Hey buddy you ready” “Yep oh let me grabbed my jacket” Steve looked at you “Hey y/n” “Hi” you said annoyingly “You look pretty” you looked down and your outfit “I am just wearing a pair of sweats and a shirt” “Still pretty so you doing anything tonight” he is really trying to flirt “No I am not” “Well maybe we can-” “Got my jacket let’s go” Dustin interrupted “Yeah ok so y/n maybe-” “STEVE” Dustin shout from the door way “If you are going to ask me to hangout or whatever the answer is no” “Oh” he looked like a kicked puppy “So you should get going” “Yep I should” “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out” Did he really think you were that dumb he just wanted another tally mark as much as you like Steve you knew his game and you weren’t about to fall into his trap. You saw all the girls he hangs out with, there is a new one every week you knew you would never be one plus he didn’t even know your name or the fact that you existed until this year. You hated him right yeah you did hate is stronger the love like hate is stronger than like.  

Summer 1984

You finally graduated, now you had a job at Star-court mall you were the first batch of people that got hired. “Just a head ups y/n today we have a newbie, and you are training them” your boss said “Roger that” you wiped down the counters then you heard that voice “Hey I am new here where do I go” Steve. You look up just to make sure and up there is was Steve “Y/n hey I didn’t know you worked here” he did that’s way he applied in the first place “Ok come on back and we will get started on your training” when he came into the back he couldn't help up but stare you surprisingly the uniform made your body look good the shorts squeezed your hips like a waist trainer. Over the weeks of working with him you couldn’t help but laugh that amount of times he got reject but a smile on your face he deserves it you thought. One Saturday you were extra happy because Dustin was coming home from camp, you missed him and wanted to hear all about it. As you were it that back you hear Robin say “Is who hear” then Steve “Henderson” he was here you ran out to see him only to see them doing complicated handshake then Steve took Dustin to a booth to talk he didn’t even know you were there. After that, your and your brother's relationship changes for the worse. 

You thought after protecting Dustin from Russian, for Christ sake you got beaten up and truth serum inject into you not to mention with Steve being tied to you. But nope when you found a way-out Dustin ran too Steve make sure he was ok. You tried reasoning with it because maybe Dustin just needs a male figure in his life, yea we are just going to say that, so you just let it go. 

March 21, 1985 

You got a call at home “Henderson residence” “Hey y/n it’s me Dustin” “Is everything ok” “Yes um are you able to feel in for Lucas tonight at hellfire” he wants you to play with him he wants to hang out with you “Yes yes sounds great” “Awesome you were my last resort Steve couldn’t do it and-” ah last resort “Um Dusty I got to go be good” “Ok” “Bye-” the line was died. Last resort those words replayed in your mind last resort. But hey you thought maybe this is a chance to redeem yourself and be his Idol again. You made his favorite cookies and got your dice ready. Dustin met you outside “Ready” you nodded you walked into the Hellfire room, with Dustin and Mike at your side. “Well Well Well if it isn’t lady y/n haven’t seen your since graduation” said Eddie “Wait you know my sister” “Yep we go way back” he winked “Shall we get start” “What no initiation no tests no anything” Dustin complained “Nope lady y/n is a legend in these parts she singled handedly beat my campaigns with nothing but a stone and a dream” he cheered Dustin stare at you in awe your moving on up. The game ended with you bringing them to victory. You all walked down the hall screaming and shouting with a pair of eyes watching you those eyes watched has Eddie threw an arm over you and gave you praise.  

“Lady y/n I see you are still the best around” “Your eyes are correct Eddie the banished” you both laughed those same eyes turn dark why is he making you laugh why don’t you laugh with me “I really missed you y/n Dustin is pretty cool but he ain’t lady y/n cool” “Oh please your making me blush” now he is making you blush “Hey thank you though for taking in my brother and his friends” where is my thanks “ No need to thank just some more sheep's to add to my flock” “Sheeps don't have flocks” you teased “Oh shut it smarty pants” he grabbed you and spun you around I have seen enough those eyes thought “Steve!!” Dustin says those eyes met yours “Do you need a ride Dustin” “I- ““Why would he need a ride I'm right here” “Well you seemed pretty occupied” he said nodding toward Eddie. “What does that even mean” “So Dustin do you want a ride or not” Dustin glance at you then back at Steve “Y/n you wouldn’t mind right”  

Your drive home was quiet, he chose Steve again. You drove around for about an hour hoping that you would avoid both. When you pulled into your driveway a figure lingered near your door. You have to get home and shower just ignore it and walk in you took a deep breath, opened your car door and speed walked to your door “Y/n can we talk” silence “Please” he blocked the door with his body “Listen to me” “Please” said Steve “No” “No?” “No you don’t deserved to know how I feel” you spat “Just tell me why” “Why what” “Why not me” you looked at him confused “huh” “you don’t look at me the way you look at Eddie or another guy I tried and been trying so hard to get you attention for you to look at me without hate in your eyes” “That’s because I used too” you mumbled “What” you couldn’t hold it in anymore “ I used too” you yelled “Back in high school my focus was on you but you didn't even know my name till Junior year then of course what Steve Harrington wants he gets and you got my brother wrapped up in your spell another person falling for you you’re his number one his Idol I was in your place before you came around that was the one thing that was keeping me from leaving , I was just waiting for you to drop him like you did every other girl but nope somehow your bond got stronger HE CALLED YOU FIRST TO FILL IN FOR LUCAS I'M THE ONE WHO TAUGHT HIM THAT GAME AND I WAS HE LAST CHOICE  and you want to know what is worst I can't even hate you because I love you so much that it hurts” you took a breath a wipe tears that you didn’t know fell “I didn't know you felt this way” “Yeah no one did” “I know I can't change the past but let me help our future please I want to be with you, you are so brave and smart beautiful please just give me one chance” “I need time please” “Take so the time you need” he said and kissed your cheek 

You open the door was was met with a teary eyed Dustin “I'm sorry” he quivered “I didn’t realize I was pushing you away I-I-I- it was nice you have an older guy around teaching me things” “I kinda thought that” and brought him into a hug “Please forgive me” “I forgive you” “Please don’t tell Eddie your like his favorite and he will forbid me from ever playing again” “Ok I won’t” you laughed and you sat on the couch with him still in your arms “Last thing” “What's that” “Give him a chance he really likes you he has been talking about you for a long time he tried to be sneaky but it’s Steve so  and I don't want to be the reason why he doesn’t find love”

You and Dustin fell asleep on the couch with him resting in your shoulder. You slowly got up to not disturb him and laugh when his head fell on the couch. You made your way to the phone and dialed certain number. “Harrington house Steve here” 

[rosietaeyongswife]

send my love | mark lee

SEND MY LOVE PARING: mark lee x reader GENRE: angst, established relationship, break up WC: 6k SUMMARY: high school gave you a lot of opportunities to meet a lot of people and one of them was your beloved boyfriend. mark never failed you make you laugh or smile. he was your sunshine in life who leads you happily through it. but years passed and both of you were stuck as boyfriend-girlfriend while all your old high school friends were now about to get married. mark promised you marriage and wedding ring one day. as days passed you knew it was a lie and mark’s inmaturity made you go mad everytime you were talking. TW: alcohol consumption, cursing, gaslighting, mentions of sex, abortion READ HERE 

“mark.” browned haired gut was too busy to notice you. “mark lee.”

“what?” he didn’t even look at you. “i can’t right now. i am playing.”

“you’ve been playing for six hours now. can you help me with our place? it’s so dirty and we don’t have anything for dinner.”

“i can’t now. give me ten minutes babe.”

  mark was still playing overwatch like his life depends on it. headshet on his head and pc on was your view of him for past few years. you could hear haechan’s voice through the headphones your boyfriend had on. sigh was all you could do because mark won’t help you at all. as always.

   thing with mark lee was that he could play all day long. he could ignore you. he wouldn’t help you that much as you expected. while moving on together, you were excited for new adventure in your life because starting adults life with your lover is something everyone expect in their life at some point. well, no one told you how hard life living with man is. mark doesn’t understand he needs to help you in regular chores or basic life skills. whatever you told him to do, he end up messing it up because none of his parents ever cared to teach him basic chores because he was a “boy”.

  mark lee also didn’t want to think about adult life for real. he didn’t understand money or saving money. new game? he bought it. new pc’s set? bought. both of you couldn’t let yourselfs for such a treats since he works in office not at well paid place and you are teacher in kindergarten. some furnitures in your flat are broken but mark never tried to fix them or tried to call a service.

“and i am done with a game. what should i do?” mark walked over to you while hugging you from the back. “i can do whatever you want.”

“i did it myself.” you rolled yor eyes. “we don’t have dinner so you can go for a chicken for us tonight.”

“got it babe.”

  five minutes. ten minutes. fiveteen minutes. twenty minutes. an hour.

  an hour passed since mark went for your dinner and you were growing inpatient since you were mad hungry. your boyfriend didn’t answer your calls and you was already bothered because something might happened. last thing possible to do was to call one of his friends.

“haechan? do you know maybe where’s mark?”

“oh hey y/n. yeah, he is here and play with me and jeno.” he laughed. “why?”

“are you kidding me? can you pass me to him?”

“sure.”

“mark, what the actual fuck are you doing at haechan’s?”

“shit.” he stood up with phone in his hand. “my bad, i forgot. fuck, i’ll be home in a few just wait.”

  your boyfriend was hanging out with his friends while you were starving in your house worried about him.

“don’t fuckin come home tonight. stay with them and play your dumb ass games.”

  you hung up on him and sighed. while mark choose to ignore it and do as you said, you ordered some chicken to your place and wanted to burst out crying. such a small things like that made you sick to your stomach because you knew you can never count on mark. whenever somethings happened he’s never there or let you down with littiest things ever. even once he forgot to pick you up from daegu and you had to wait three hours on a staion for a train. 

  but back in your high school times mark was the prettiest, the most talented and the nicest guy ever. everyone literally loved mark lee from year ‘99. mark was always the purest soul and even teacher setted him as a good example of a student and a child. parents of all years knew about him and compared their kids to him. he also was innocent person and love was so new and weird to him no one was surprised until.. until he saw you during your class preentation on a big day at school. you were so pretty and the way you talked to your teammates was amazing. jeno and jaemin made fun of him for a long time because whenever they talked about fameous y/n, he would blush as crazy. second time you impressed him was during school’s sports day. you were leader of volleyball team with your grade and you won. also, jury gave you mvp award since you was so good. the way you were humble about it and had never made big deal out of it made mark lee fall crazy in love with you. 

  let’s say haechan helped him be ready to meet you. and yes, he kinda made fool of himself since he was stuttering a lot and told you awkward compliments but it didn’t matter. you also liked mark. he was your crush ever since you started school. perfect match for both of you.

“honey, please don’t be mad at me.” mark was trying to unlock the lock of your bedroom’s door. “please. i know i fucked up but you didn’t have to get me out of the house.”

“are you even surprised?” you hissed. “you do nothing here. always let me down with everything and you still have issues with me?”

“well, maybe you just overreacting? i pay most of the bills here and work my ass of for both of us and you are mad because i didn’t help you clean?”

  it was whole mark lee. he had never admitted when he was wrong. never take resposability.

“it’s not about just cleaning! it’s about overall.”

“just let me in.”

  tired of his loudness, you opened the door and you were met with his puppy eyes which always made you give in. 

“i’m too tired to talk with you. i have to go to work.”

“wait. you still have an hour to go.”

“so what?” you demanded. “we can talk later unless we will talk at all.”

“ok, i am sorry.” mark muttered. “i shouldn’t leave you yesterday. haechan just called while i was near the restaurant and i have told him i can’t but he have kept going. my bad.”

“so it was haechan’s fault?”

“kinda.” mark hugg you. “i am sorry, i’ll never do it again. let’s just forget and live peacfuly, alright?”

  the way he was looking at you with his eyes you couldn’t do nothing else but agree. 

“sure. but don’t do it again.” you hugged him back. “and help me more.”

“yes sir.”

  tons of kiss lend on your neck, collarbones, chest and tummy. all your arguments always ended up with make up sex. no matter what sex was only thing mark has never missed or fucked up which sometimes made you overthink. was he using you? why he won’t do anything you asked but that? does he even love you?

“do you want me to drive you?”

“yes, please.”

  while driving mark told you a lot of funny stories he had ever experienced with his friends and you were laughing and crying because of how funny they were. mark lee never fails to make you laugh. that was one of the things why you loved him. 

  as soon as mark found place to park at parking lot in front of building of kindergarten he couldn’t help but stare at children going and running around with their parents chasing them and trying to calm them down. 

“one day it will be us who would walk our kids to school, you know?”

  mark looked at you seriously and you could smile. you always knew he was good with kids and always wanted one but you weren’t really believing him. he was saying same thing for past six years of you dating. majority of your friends are married or have children. they found peace in life and are growing as people. but you? mark always feed you with sweet, little lies but never commit to them.

“aren’t you saying that all the time whenever some kid passes by?”

“i am for real. really.” he raised his eyebrows. “we will have amazing children. just imagine us on a date with kids by some lake. mini us running all around the place making mess.”

“hold up, let’s not get there.”you giggled at your boyfriend. “i need to go. bye.”

  children going around and screaming at the top of your lungs is something you get used to because past two years taught you everything you should know about kids. they were little devils well, not all of them but majority. children were also cruel to each other which made you shocked at first. they are scary but you have to get through it after all. being mom is also scary at that point.

“ya! park haesoo why did you hit her?” you were looking at little boy standing in front of you with big smile while little girl was crying. “can you answer?”

“she deserves that. dan is dumb.”

“you can’t hit other kids and call them names. it’s very bad and it’s not acceptable.” you hissed. “bow and apologize to her.”

“i don’t want to.”

“park haesoo, i will call your parents if you don’t apologize to dan. do you want to get minus points because of your bad behaviour? instead of ten you will lose twenty.”

“i am sorry dan.”

  little boy bowed down and walked away while dan was crying. you were little bit worried because she got hit on the face with plastic toy which causes a lot of pain. sometimes you wished you could punch some of the children here since their parents don’t care if their kids behave in a bad way. 

  while getting kids ready for lunch you felt sudden need to vommit. you run to the nearest toilet and threw up. you must eat something or you got food poisoning. some co-workers looked at you worried but you let them know it’s nothing serious.

“wait. park jisung got on his knees and he proposed to you?”

“yes! i can not believe my little jisung did that. i was so surprised i haven’t answered for two minutes and he almost take it as a no.” your friend giggled. “you don’t even know how happy i am to be his wife. i mean, fiance for now but still i am getting married.”

“when-”

“in a two months. jisung have talked with out parents and everyone agreed we want to do it as fast as it’s possible.”

“wow. congratulations for both of you! after four years of dating your boyfriend finally made a big step. i am so proud.” you hugged her. “i don’t know what else should i say. good luck! fighting!”

  deep inside you felt like a knife went down your spine and you were struggling to catch a break and felt betrayed. of course, marriage of your friend and mark’s friend was amazing but jisung was the youngest among mark’s squad. only mark, haechan and jeno are one without wives, children or fiance title. jeno was single most of the time, haechan is player and mark is.. mark. even jisung is going to get married. you wished it was you but it’s seems like mark isn’t ready for big step.

“believe me y/n, when i got to know jisung is going to propose to yuna i was like dude, what the fuck. aren’t you dating for four years, and he just nodded with a biggest smile i have ever seen. it’s so unreal our jisung is going to be husband soon.”

  mark was laughing while you were looking with empty gaze at the tv. grip on your tv remmote was only tightening with every more second of mark’s laugh.

“why is it funny to you? majority of our friends are married while we still stuck at that boyfriend-girlfriend stage for past six years, mark.” you sighed. “don’t you think it’s weird?”

“honey, i told you so many times our time will come.” mark laughed. “i can’t understand why you’re so obsessive about it. even if we would be together for ten years would it be wrong? not married at all?”

“i’m-”

“exactly. we will get married one day but not now. we still need time for us. for our youth. we have time y/n. don’t need to rush anything.”

  mark was right at some point but it was upsetting you. mark always do you like that, whenever you try to talk he will shut you up quickier than you have ever spoke. of course, you understood where he’s coming from but you were getting worried. whenever you saw relationship advicies and psychology, instagram posts about it, twitter and truth about relationships, youtube vlogs and damned tiktok where people explain it to young women. if after a long term relationship he hasn’t proposed yet - he doesn’t take you seriously. thoughts like that was bothering you to the maxium of your limit. 

“are you taking me seriously?” mark almost popped his eyes. “us? that whole relationship? i am asking you for real so be honest with me. i want to know the truth.”

“y/n, i love you truly. i have always loved you and i take you seriously. don’t start your paranoia because it’s really messed up. maybe you’re too stressed lately? you’re getting annoyed and mad at slightest of things.”

“mhm.”

  you didn’t have to answer mark because there was nothing else for you to say. but again, mark was right. you are getting worked up over smallest things lately. even too loud phone alarm is getting on your nevers to the point you almost crushed your phone few times. 

  at the night you woke up and run to the toilet because of sudden stomach pain and need to vommit again. mark got scared when you basically jumped out the bed and rushed to the toilet so he followed you just to find you on your knees by toilet. he got scared for a second.

“are you fine?”

  you had to take few breathes to answer him.

“yes, i mean i feel little bit sick. i suppose i got stomach poisoning.” mark hummed and got you towel. “you can go back and i will brush my teeth real quick.”

“i can wait for you.” you nodded and flushed the toilet. “are you sure it’s nothing serious? maybe take a day off?”

“i am.” you rolled your eyes. “i can’t take days off, mark.”

  mark nodded and watched you doing your thing. he was always worried about you no matter what so of course he was scared when you told him about food poisoning but if you let him know it’s nothing serious he stopped being overprotective and just got back to the bed together with you.

“i bought a new dollhouse.” small girl touched your hand. “do you want to see pictures? please.”

“of course, hana.” you smiled at her. “show me.”

  girl with two high ponytails goes up to you with biggest grin and pink phone showing you proudly her dollhouse her parents bought for her fourth birthday. it was pink and looked expensive but her parents were doctors so you weren’t surprised. the way she was talking about it made your day ten times better. some kids aren’t that scary.

“my mum promised me we will buy other accesories for it and few other dolls. would you like to see them once i get them?”

“yes! come here and showe me when you will have your dream toys, hana.”

  she ran off with little giggles. hana was one of the nicest kid here. she was one of the few who didn’t caused problems. 

  two weeks passed and you felt little bit worse. vommiting was something you had to get used to since every morning you have morning sickness. you haven’t told no one, not even mark knew because you were scared. everytime you woke up with urge to throw up, you get out the bed queitly and always close all the door for mark to not hear a sound. the worst thing was period getting late for far more than you expected. you totally forgot since you had a lot of work but as you’re looking at it you felt bad. 

“what are you saying?” yuna splited her coffee out. “i can not belive it. are you pregnant, girl?”

“i don’t know! lord, please don’t do me like that. i can not be, not now.” you held your hands like you were praying. “i am not ready, we are not ready.”

“have you taken a test?”

“no, i am too afraid to do it.” your voice was shaking. “what do i do if i am? i can not give a birth now, not when we and mark are on bad terms lately.”

  yuna was looking at you with sad smile. she knew about mark and every fight you had, and even tho she was going to marry his best friend she stated it to you - break up with mark lee. she was the one who was convincing you to break up because of all the shit he had done. mark was still a child and nothing is going to change that. yuna’s heart ached since she knew it and being pregnant only make things worse.

“let’s go. we are going to buy a test and we will find out, y/n.”

“yuna, i-”

“i said let’s go.”

  thirty minutes later after shopping at pharmacy and after buiying four different tests you were sitting in bathroom while yuna was in the living room waiting for you to come and announce the results. both of you were praying to god for best.

“yuna.” 

  your small voice made yuna get up from the chair she was sitting at and stare at you. you were holding all the tests in your hands and you were literally shaking.

“two lines.” she whispered. “fuck.”

“i’m going to cry.”

  you sat down on the couch while yuna was too busy thinking. 

“do you want that baby?” you wiped your tears with hand. “you said you’re not ready and don’t want a child for now. also, you said you’re young. do you want to keep the baby?”

  yuna’s question made you freeze. all the things she said was truth since you told her about it many times. 

“no! of course i don’t want to. it’s a mistake i can not have a baby right now.”

“i know place and very good and highly recommended healh clinic when you can have abortion done. we would have to go together to the doctor who would tell you everything and what month is it.” you were breathing harder. “if you’re sure as fuck, then you can get rid of it. i am sure it’s first months.”

“what about mark? should i tell him?” yuna was about to answer. “no. i won’t. he would make me keep the baby. it’s my body. can we get there as fast as possible?”

“my sister’s husband works there so he can make an appointment even today.”

“perfect.”

  yuna helped you get ready and your heart was beating while doing so. everything is a mess in your head and you can’t think straight. you were sure you don’t want a child but thing that was bothering you was mark. how is he going to react when you tell him?

  small clinic was fivteen kilometers away from your home. during ride to that place you were getting nervous. money? you had them enough for it. even if you will be starving for a months you are not changing your mind at all. your friend tried to support you as much as she could, she knows you well and for both of you it was the best decission you could ever had made.

“you’re one month pregnant y/n.” a guy with a beard smiled at you. “everything seems fine. we can do it even today if you’re sure. there would be 500$ for everything including pain killers. if you’re not ready we can find a date for you.”

“i am. i want to do it today, please.”

“sure. come with me, and your friend can wait here in waiting room.”

“you may kiss the bride.”

  everyone was screaming when yuna and jisung kissed in front of every guest invited to their wedding. jisung’s friends were laughing while yuna’s friends including you, were clapping the hardest they can. today is yuna’s day. your best friend is going to be wife and her relationship with jisung upgraded to another level.

   sadly, you couldn’t quite say the same about you and mark. instead of working out your relationship, everything got more complicated. none of you spoke to each other for days before one of you break the character and apologize first. mark was hanging out with his friends more frequently and everytime you bring this up he will find tons of excuses. 

“our little jisung got married!” haechan was screaming at top of his lungs. “i am so happy for you man. i didn’t know what should i say for speach today. i was looking for inspiration for the longest time ever. and guess what. i found ton of bullshit.” everyone laughed at him including you and mark. “i don’t wan to sugar talk to both of you. i want to say honest words i could ever think of. i have never ever expected our jisung to be married before me or mark. how did that happened? just few years ago you were a child and now you start your own family. treat yuna right or she and we will whoop your ass. as your hyung, i am proud of you. i am proud of person you became and how mature you are now. even if you’re married, don’t change too much and still be our jisungie.”

  guests were clapping at haechan’s speech. his words came right from his heart and everyone seemed to be touched by it since he is never serious. moment almost felt magical. few other people gave their speeches and after all they could finally dance. yuna looked the happiest ever and your heart was pounding by the view and you didn’t notice when tears of happines were going down your face.

“are you crying?” mark giggled and hug you. “our best friends got married. it’s fine to cry.”

“oh, shut up mark.” you hit him on the thigh. “yuna is married, i can not believe it. look at them, they’re so happy.”

“yes, they are.” he kissed your cheek. “do you think we will be that happy during our wedding?”

  question made you stare at the floor with teary eyes.

“propably yes. at least we should, mark.”

  mark didn’t have to answer you since you were too busy recording first dance on your phone while your boyfriend was talking with his friends. 

   already five hours passed and most of the guests also passed out because of alcohol since wedding was like a big party with relatives. few uncles of jisung and yuna asked you to dance which you agreed to and now your legs ached. aunts were ready to gossip about everyone and spilled some tea about family members. even “caitlyn”, rich yuna’s aunt was talking with you and gave you one of her purses since she had too much of them. mark was also talking with family members and was busy drinking with his friends.

“honey, can we go to the hotel?” mark was mumbling to your ear. “i am too drunk and it’s getting boring here. i have few ideas.”

“what ideas?” you raised an eyebrow. “i am not ready for any ideas.”

“trust me, y/n.”

  with that words everything happened as it usually does. kissing while on the way to the bedroom and that lead to another things. you haven’t planed to have sex tonight since abortion you was scared to do so.

“do you have condom?” you asked breaking the kiss.

“yes, here.”

   morning was pretty at the sunday. it was past ten already and mark was still sleeping and will propably wake up with hangover so you got medications and water for him ready. at least that’s what you could do to help him. hotel sent you some breakfast so you tried to wake up mark but he was too stubborn.

“not now, please.”

“mark, breakfast is ready. get your ass and let’s go eat.”

“i don’t want to-”

“what a baby.” you hissed and took duvet out of him. “you have one minute and i want to see you in the living room.”

  mark was literally big child. he had never matured and it was giving you hard time while dealing with him. you didn’t want much but for mark to focus on both of you. not on his friends or stupid games but you two. 

  at the same time you were anxious while around him. nor you or yuna have told anyone about events that happened two months before. first few days you just got up early and went straight to kindergarten even if you were first one to arrive. after week you could live peacful since you put your thoughts together but you can’t help but feel guilt. mark was father of the fetus you got rid of and at least he should know. he should yet you weren’t ready to tell him. majority of time it was mark who fucks up but that time it was you with much worse thing than he have ever done.

  you couldn’t just sit him down one day and tell him everything.

“oh my god, waffles!”

  mark excitment brought smile to your lips.

“yeah with maple syroup.”

“damn, i haven’t eaten waffles with syroup in ages. dude, it’s so good.”

  after breakfast you got your things and decided to go back home. yuna and jisung had to stay with their families and do other things so you went to say goodbye and went on a way back home which will take less than two hours.

  days went by and you were done with everything. work is getting worse since more and more children go to school and they are rude, mark is busy with boys and yuna is out with jisung for a long time. you basicaly left alone with your thoughts that are getting worse. more and more you think about relationship with mark and issues. including abortion you were nerve wrecking. all you could think was that and it drives you crazy. 

  loud smack woke you up in the night. you get out the bedroom just to see mark all shaking and with tears running down his pretty face. a lot of thoughs get to your mind expecting the worst.

“mark? what happened?” you came closer. “mark calm down.”

  mark was breathing hard and you tried yout best.

“i was with jeno and, and.” he had to take a breath. “with jeno and i, we-” he couldn’t get words out. “we were fighting. fighting with jeno.” he was mumbling. “i think i broke his nose. i, i don’t know..” 

“where’s jeno? what happened. mark you need to calm down and explain everything to me, alright?” 

“at his home. i am sorry i didn’t mean to punch him i-” tears were rolling down his cheek. “i was mad because he was braging about me and i, i had to.”

“oh mark.” you hugged him. “go take a shower, and try to relax. fights happen, it’s not a big deal but you didn’t have to punch him.” you looked at him. “let’s talk to jeno in the morning? both of you should talk about it like adults.”

“what if he is mad angry? i broke his nose, and i, i was mean.”

“mark, jeno and you are friends for the longest time ever. just trust me and do everything as i told you to.”

“thank you y/n. i love you.”

“love you too.”

  mark was gone in the bathroom while you were sitting down on your bed waiting for him. mark was never first to use violence since he was rather a calm person. you had no clue what did they talked about which caused mark to snap at his best friend. 

  few minutes passed and mark was next to you in the bed, holding you close to him making both of you warm with touch. 

   ever since jeno’s and mark’s fight everything seemed weird. mark was avoiding you clearly and it was making you overthink. did you do something to upset him? you couldn’t think of answers for that question but wonder what had happened. 

“mark, can you tell me what’s wrong?” mark passed by you. “stop. mind explaining what’s wrong? i am worried about you.”

“nothing’s wrong.” he didn’t even look at you. “i am tired.”

“mark lee, stop being a baby and tell me what’s going on. you avoide me for a week straight. i don’t reacall if i did something wrong. what happened?”

“i don’t want to talk right now. can’t we talk later?”

“no, we can’t. i want answers. ever since fight with jeno, you are acing different and i want to know what’s going on with my boyfriend.” 

  mark finally looked in your eyes.

“are you hiding something from me?” mark’s question made you shiver. “or you haven’t told me something? whatever.”

“no? what are you even talking about? i am always honest with you as you might notice. why you even asking that?”

“are you sure you haven’t told me anything important?”

  you felt like your tongue was cut and you couldn’t find any words.

“i am sure.”

  mark laughed at your response and shaked his head.

“you have a lot of nerv, y/n.” mark was looking at you with grin. “lying straight to my face and gaslighting me into thinking you’re always honest with me. stupid.”

“mark, what the fuck do you mean? i don’t understand what you want from me.”

“i want truth, honey!” he snapped at you. “i want to know why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant. i want to know why you kept it for yourself. why would you abort our baby without me knowing? what the fuck y/n!” he was screaming. “i love you, i really do but what you have done was so selfish and-” he took a breath. “and fucked up. i can’t believe i had to get to know from my friends and not from my own girlfriend.”

  your heart was aching because of your boyfriend’s words. he knows. he knows whole truth and you were sure yuna told everything jisung and he told the rest. mark was looking at you with disapointed gaze.

“because at the end of the day it’s my body. i don’t need your permission for it and besides that.” you looked up. “how would we manage raising a child? a human being? when we can’t even take good care of ourselfs. i don’t know why you’re so mad for it. you’re still an immature guy, mark. can’t you see it?” it was you who screamed now. “i am done with everything. you always find excuses for everything and blame everyone but you. always others had to fix mess you caused and usually it’s me! you cared more about your homies than me. i was there when you were at your worst but where were you when i needed you the most? nowhere to be found.”

“what the fuck? are you kidding me, y/n? now it’s my fault? i am immature? you fuckin killed our baby!”

“it was fetus!”

“it doesn’t fuckin matter. i had right to at least know maybe we would find solution? of course we would! yet you were selfish and did everything your way. look now, who’s immature?” he raised his eyebrows. “you. not my fault or yuna’s, but yours. it was yours choice not ours even tho it was our.. baby. i tried to support you as much as i can and you still tell me i wasn’t!”

“stop with that bullshit. you have never supported me. who helped me when i had gone through stress of work? when i had to go back to london to help my parents? when i was having breakdown due to work?” you were screaming at the top of your lung. “no one! you had never cared. it was only you and your friends. not me and you. you are holding me back, mark. i am running while you are trembling. we are on a different mentality levels, can’t you see?” you massaged your template. “i am ready and serious for a family but with you it’s impossible. look what i have done because of our relationship.”

“it wasn’t like that. my friends were with me and-”

“see? you do it again. excuses. not your fault, huh?” you mocked him. “i am done. our relationship for past few months only gave me headache and doubt. i was ready to commit and you just fool me with your lies. always tell me how you will marry me one day or about our chilldren. bullshit. if you wanted, you would.” mark was frozen on the spot. “you’re right with abortion. i should have let you know. my bad, really i regret that. but our relationship don’t have future. we aren’t kids no more, mark. we have to let go.”

  mark was looking at you with glossy eyes.

“are we breaking up?” you nodded. “wow, after all the things we’ve been through? we sacrificed so much for us to break up now. i love you so much y/n. maybe i was immature but that doesn’t change a thing. i still love you the same way i always did. we can’t end like this.”

“mark it’s too late now. i am ready to move on from us. i am ready to start new life without you in it. i have never imagined we wouldn’t made it to our plans but we have to do it now. we have to let go and start new chapter. withouth each other.”

“y/n, wait we can still think about it.” he was holding you close. “we can, we-” he was sobbing. “i don’t know go to therapy? we can find solution-”

“we can’t. i don’t want to share my life with you no more mark. we hold each other back and that’s the worst we can do to each other.” you pulled out. “please find a woman you will love and treat her better. send my love to her. i guess you need someone else. don’t fuck it up, mark lee.” you kissed him last time. “just know i loved you and you made me the happiest ever. i felt free and joyful with you. i still love you and i won’t forget about you easily.”

  mark could only look at you. that day mark lost love of his life due to his stupid actions. person mark loved the most just left.

  times passes by so fast no one notice. each day we grow and learn something new to us that made us smarter and better person. you were person who was learning a lot day by day and your life wasn’t mess anymore. ever since you and mark ended things between you two, you felt like a brand new person. weight of your shoulders was gone and you felt peacful with yourself after all the situations you’ve been through. 

  mark at the other hand couldn’t put himself together. all that time passed and he was stuck at that one moment and nothing could change that. friends, family or co-workers did their best but it doesn’t work. mark is still stuck in past with you. he misses you everyday and think only about you. it’s you who is stuck on his mind till today. mark didn’t find new lover. mark didn’t move on and wasn’t ready for it.

“mark?”

  voice so familiar, young male thought he was hallucinating when he heard it but as soon as he turned back, your face was smiling at him.

“y/n?”

“yup.”

  mark was quick to be in front of you. he felt like in a dream with you.

“what are you doing here?” he smiled. “oh my god.”

“i wanted to check on you since haechan told me you’re doing pretty bad.” he left out a giggle. “how do you feel, mark?”

“pretty bad. i can’t move on.”

“but you should.” worried face made him smile a little. “you can’t be stuck in a moment.”

“i can not let go. y/n you’re still only thing in my mind and all i can think about is you. a two months passed and i am still wondering about you. please, life’s so fucked when you’re not around. i’d do anything to have you back.”

[peejsocks]

bam rq!! (smut 👉👈)

i came across these and i think they go well together

bam - “i am not driving home with you, are you crazy”

reader - “fine, continue to act like you hate me”

a/n: bammy brain rot all day! since you didn’t specify pronouns i made it female reader and i know to some that doesn’t make sense but i just struggle with gn smut, i hope it’s okay! and thank you for requesting <3

ps: i’ve been finding the fan base pretty dead so if you read this, feedback is much appreciated :)

disclaimers/tags: nsfw. nsfk. minors dni. general don’t be stupid advice.

Like many in the town of West Chester, you knew Bam Margera. Like some, you were currently not on his list of favorite people.

As fate would have it, you were now trying to convince him to get in your car as you fled a party doomed by police sirens approaching.

Since your break-up, the two of you had been at the same parties a couple of times. Inevitable when you have friend groups that intersect. Usually, someone told you he was there in hopes of stirring some drama and exploiting the CKY guys for some lame irrelevant news.

A couple of girls who pretended to be your friend during your brief fling with the famous kid even came up to you to say Bam had come onto them, falsely offended. "I would never! Unless, you were okay with it...?"

A shrug and a swig was enough answer for them.

Whether or not he was actually making out with all of your so-called friends was not a question you looked for the answer.

Fights broke out at crowded houses constantly. A few guys were infamous for starting them, and only stopping when cops pull them off of an unconscious body. You were let in on this when you were with Bam. If one of these dudes were spotted in a brawl, everyone should meet at whoever's car was closest and get the hell out of there.

Most of you were still twenty. It was not worth getting caught underage drinking over some dickhead seeking attention.

Tonight, the neighbours weren't fucking around and called the cops as soons as the first chanting of "fight!" was yelled out. Now half the party is swarming the streets trying to figure out where to go.

That's when you catch Bam standing unfamiliarly alone on the pavement and yelling at his phone.

"I can't go that way! How did you even get past them? Turn the fuck back and come get me."

Seeing red and blue lights flicker in the distance, without much thought, your hand wraps around his and pulls his body forward. For now, the warm electric shock that bolts through you just from the small contact of his skin with yours will be ignored.

"Y/N? What are you doing?"

"Kidnapping you. Isn't it obvious? Get in, we have to go."

Stubborn as always, his hand pulls away from your grip in defiance. Quickly, you're getting annoyed.

"I'm on the phone."

He looks so much like a child saying this, eyes angry and resenting. Like he knows he has no good arguments, playing dumb to spite you will have to do.

"Do you want to finish your conversation from the inside of my car on the way home or when they give you your one phone call in jail?"

"I'm not driving home with you, are you crazy?"

Huffing, you turn your back to him and walk around to the drivers side, unlocking the door. His phone is hanging loosely beside his ear, but the grip of his fingers seems strong. He is staring at you, hesitant but considering.

"Fine, continue to act like you hate me. After I give you a ride. But in the meantime, can you give yourself a break and think rationally? You know, so you don't get busted?"

Seconds feel like minutes before he mumbles to whoever has not hung up on him yet that he'll meet them at his place.

As soons as Bam opens the passenger door, you're climbing in and speeding out of there.

You smirk when he clings to the ceiling handle and fumbles with the seatbelt.

"I don't think this piece of shit can handle your driving."

"I think you're managing just fine." Extending the joke, you change gears rapidly and the tires screech, running a yellow light. He glares your way. "Performs better than your overpriced Ferrari."

Defeated blue eyes averted ahead give away hurt feelings. "It's the streets in this town's fault, they're not made for supercars."

You laugh at his posture. "Sure."

For the next few minutes you are both sitting in surprising comfortable silence, until Bam spots a 24-hour grocery store.

"Oh, stop here. I need to get some stuff."

A glimpse of his rings when he points at the neon sign almost makes you choke, feeling trapped inside a slow motion sequence as your eyes trail up his neck. Snap out of it.

"I'm not your fucking driver, fuck off."

"You fucking volunteered to drive me home, don't be a bitch. C'mon, I'll be quick."

It was a mistake to look into his big doey eyes, but you did it anyway, aware of the outcome.

Ineffective but self-serving, you park the furthest from the store so he has to walk the distance. Away from any other cars, lamp posts or people. As you're waiting, you turn on the radio.

However long he was gone was the time you spent trying to convince yourself you didn't miss his smell. Or his voice, his smile, his tattoos. His rough hands bruising your hips.

The light inside turning on when the door opens again brings you back to reality.

The tips of your fingers massage your forehead, stressed when you can't help but stare at his spread legs when Bam takes his seat next to you, bulge just noticeable enough.

He rattles the plastic bag, taking out a small packet of Twizzlers and handing it to you.

"As a thank you. I got you a water bottle too."

Smiling cautiously, you avoid his gaze, taking the water first and gulping it down. Maybe it was a hotter night than you noticed.

As you're ripping open the candy, a Deftones song comes on. Immediately, the two of you look at each other, red sugary tube in between your teeth.

Bam laughs first, looking away and bringing his fingers to his lips, shy. It's contagious enough that you copy him, eyebrows shooting up.

"What are the chances?"

For the two months you were together, Bam hated your appreciation of the band. As an experiment, you tried having sex to their discography a couple of times. It never turned him off, but it's unclear whether it ever turned him on more.

"Did it ever work?"

"What, like, do I have an urgency to fuck something whenever I hear that fucking rythmic guitar? No, not really." His head turns to you, eyes widening with something not entirely negative. "But I do think of you when it comes on. So, I guess it worked in that sense, I don't know."

You meet his shrug with a bitter apology. "Sorry about that. At least you have an unpretentious reason to never listen to them again."

"Yeah." A small chuckle. The skin around his eyes creases when he squints. "Or to give them another chance. Been doing it a lot, actually."

With a pause, you ask him something you might come to regret later. "Did you change your mind?"

His answer comes in the movement of ring-clad fingers rolling the volume button up.

The louder vibrations don't help the fast beating of your heart when Bam drops the bag of alcohol under the seat, calmly turning his body your way and placing a hand on your bare leg.

He doesn't meet your eyes, focused on tracing your skin lightly with his thumb.

It's so small but the rush of his touch, which you have missed terribly, is such that the back of your neck is hot and you feel like puking.

"I thought you hated me."

Those were, to be fair, his last words to you.

Sure, it was said in the middle of a drunken fight over jealousy, but he never called to take it back. A month went by with no contact, seeing each other at parties and pretending to be strangers.

Being this close to him, alone, was bittersweet.

It was a clash of the memories of your last moment together with the excitement of being touched by him again. The potential of being his again.

"I do." Your eyes shoot up at his admittance, betrayed and on edge. "I hate that you left. I hate that you didn't come back the next day yelling and breaking shit at my house. I hate that you never said you hated me back. You just left me."

His hand is still on you, light, testing. It burns, but you don't dare move it, afraid the absence would hurt far more.

"I didn't know you wanted me to do that. But what did you expect, Bam? You yelled it to my face. I gave you time to apologize, but you never did."

"I'm sorry." Blue eyes finally meet yours. And to your horror, they feel genuine in their longing. "I'm sorry I got mad over something stupid, and yelled and said dumb shit I didn't mean. You didn't deserve that."

There's no air in your lungs. You feel like sinking into the car seat. "You're putting me in a very difficult position here, you know?"

The blink of his eyes is slow, and you want to believe it's his way of showing vulnerability.

"Did you miss me?"

The presence on your leg moves and scorches its way. With gritted teeth, you breathe out. Try to, anyway.

“Do you miss how I touch you? My fingers in you? Riding me?"

Your chin is pointed down, following his movement closely and imagining the reward you'd get for being truthful.

His hand wraps around your thigh, thumb pressing on the excessive skin and turning it red. Your skirt is rising and you lick your lips, probably not as discreetly as you planned.

"Because I miss all of it. I want to grab around your throat as I pound into you, and you cry, so beautiful. I want to hear you moan my name again. I need to, because in my dreams that's when you go quiet. It kills me every time I wake up sweating and hard, thinking of your pretty lips trembling."

"Bam." You whisper and his hand freezes in place. Looking into his eyes, you confess. "I'm scared you're gonna hurt me again."

His free hand comes up to your cheek, and you shiver when cold metal meets your burning skin. "I know better now. Let me show you I can treat you right."

The deep bass still playing in the background registers in your brain, and you are hit with flashbacks to so many good moments with the man holding you.

With his shirt balled into your fist, you meet his lips.

It's just that for a few seconds, lips touching, reminiscing on each other. Until his hand squeezes the inside of your thigh and it triggers your muscle memory, moving to take more of his mouth.

Bam has always, and continues to be, the best kisser you have ever had. He leads slow and patient, but loves when you take initiative, matching your pace perfectly.

If this were any other guy you weren't familiar with on a first date, you might spend more time enjoying a nice kiss. But it isn't, your head is pounding and your insides are pulsing.

To get what you want, you push Bam back and move to straddle him, hand never leaving the nape of his neck.

You take a second to look down at him, briefly submissive and needy, eyes glossy as he waits for you to go back to him just as he had been dreaming of.

You let him grab you by the waist and guide you to sit on his lap in the passenger seat of your car, something you had done many times before in his.

Back to making out, you start with wet lips on his neck, then jaw, the sharp ends of his smile that you love so much. Your tongue pokes out and he sucks on it without questioning.

Suddenly, you hear a loud crack and the backrest moves. Not all the way, but enough that you jump back to the driver’s side. Honestly, you can't afford to fix a broken seat, or explain how it broke.

Out of air, you're laughing when Bam turns his head back to you with a glint in his eyes. "I have an idea."

Leaping to the back, he extends a hand to you. He's breathless, flushed pale skin, his hair is out of place and there's a wicked smile on his face. It’s impossible not to mirror it.

You let him pull you onto his lap again.

Bam is quick, sneakily lifting your tank top and exposing your breasts to his busy lips. It was so hot that his spit around your nipples was alleviating, and you whimpered shamelessly, tugging on his dark hair.

Everything was overwhelming, so you don't put too much thought into it before grinding down on the hardness pushing against his black pants. As a response, Bam groans and bites your breast, definitely leaving teeth marks. The pain pulls the first whiny moan out of you tonight.

"I can see why you missed this."

You're teasing because you know where it gets you.

From his hunched position, Bam’s head shoots up, eyes bright in the dark of the deserted street. His tongue licks up the crevice in between your tits.

"You can pretend you didn't miss it too, but I won't believe you."

Smiling, you shoot back, feigning innocence. "Why not?"

"I'll show you."

Cold fingers reach your covered slit under your military green skirt and you suck in a breath. It's beyond your control at this point, and you rub against his hand just as you had done a few moments before on his dick.

Thinking of the swollen member and the fact that you could have it again, not just in your imagination, was thrilling. You feel him lightly press on your clit, and the begging begins.

"Bam, please." Your eyes are closed, but you know he is watching you. "Please, I know the rules, I'm begging."

His thumb teases along the fine line of your underwear. Teeth bite into your skin again. "Such a good girl. I would've done it even if you didn't follow. I really don't deserve you."

Bam's tongue is sucking on your neck when he slips under your panties, just two fingers running along your wet entrance.

Your grip on his locks grows stronger and you practically growl his name. He laughs, satisfied, but it's okay. His hard-on poking your thigh keeps you going.

"Can you pull my skirt up, please? I want you to see how wet I am." It's surprising even to you, that you said this. It's so earnest, when he hasn't earned it.

A glimpse of shock followed by adoration crosses the look he gives you, and so you decide he’ll make your sincerity worthwhile.

As you ordered, your skirt is pulled up to your waist, and Bam gets a good view of your lace white panties. Soaked.

You watch as he lays you down carefully, eyes stuck on your still covered cunt, and removes his shirt. You take in his chest moving up and down, a sign of his nerves, and search for the Heartagram tattoo that was a lot more gratifying than a simple happy trail.

Distracted, you barely feel Bam's teeth graze against your hips when he pulls your underwear down with them. It's hot enough to make you chuckle in disbelief, which earns you a look.

Nice Bam is off for now, because he's never been nice when eating you out. It's always fast, hungry and unrelenting. This time is no different.

He is lapping up your folds, tongue darting in and out as his thumb circles your nub. It's actually too much.

"Bam, I love you, but please. I can't take this. Just get your pants off, now."

You force him to look up by pulling on his hair, drool making his chin shine. He wipes it off with his hands. God, the tattoos and the rings.

He doesn't take his eyes off of you as he unbuckles his belt and pulls his cock free. It's better than you had been hoping, redder and dripping more than you had seen before.

You pull on his necklaces to beckon him on top of you. His dick is on top of your stomach, and you shiver.

Reaching down, you envelop his shaft and give soft slow pumps, feeling the tip of his head carefully. His jaw slacks, and brows furrow, a full moan coming out from pink lips.

Before you can continue, he stops your hand and takes a deep breath.

"Sweetheart, I'm gonna stop you right there. I'm not gonna last through that."

"It's okay."

Bam readjust so he's aligned with your entrance. His face screams focus and anticipation, it's endearing.

You're actually scared of how this is going to feel.

When the tip brushes your clit, the both of you jump slightly, so you wrap your arms across his back to keep him close and encourage him to continue.

He pushes, agonizingly slow. And when he is finally inside, you can see stars.

It feels like everything around you is on fire.

"You okay?"

Nodding, you give him a reassuring smile and a pat on the back, which earns a laugh from him.

"Tell me if you need a break."

Pushing more, Bam is all the way in you. All the good memories rush back to you and you gasp, holding onto him tight.

"Baby, you feel so good. I missed this so bad." Your voice is strained.

You open your eyes to see Bam smiling, smug, pointy incisors standing out to you.

"I know you did.”

"Don't be scared to move, please, I can take it."

"Of course, princess."

So he moves, patiently sliding out halfway and then moving back in. He's being careful because you look like you're struggling, but it's just pent up need.

"Bam, what was I like in your dreams?"

He's still pumping slowly.

"You were wonderful, gorgeous."

"Yeah? I bet I can take more than her." He looks at you quizzically, but amused. "Try me."

Bam's hand closes around your neck. He moves back all the way to the head, just to mercilessly thrust into you until his balls hit your skin.

"That's it, go on."

He's carefully holding you in place so you can take him comfortably as he thrusts faster, his tempo getting more ragged.

You can feel the veins in his cock as you tighten around him, proud of how good he's giving it to you and you are taking it.

You adjust on the seat so he can move both hands to your hips and help you roll them in synch with his.

You're fucking each other as rough as possible, and maybe it's in your head but the windows in your car are fogging up.

Bam is so loud, you’re swallowing your own whimpers just so you can hear him moan freely.

Somehow, while you two are going at it, Bam finds a way to get close to your ear and whisper. "I love you too."

Shock runs through you as your words from moments ago hit you. Fuck, you didn't even know that you loved him. Hearing him say it back was ecstatic, and now he was hitting you right in that perfect spot.

"Bam, please, I'm close."

You're scratching his back when you orgasm, Bam spilling inside you right after.

He's not even moving anymore, and you're still riding your high. The weight of his body and the dark curls covering your eyes, his shoulders slumped against your chest. Of course you love him.

Your car is very tidy, so he uses his shirt to clean you up and you fake a gag, telling him you never want to see him wear it again.

Dressed, you're still laying on the seat. Bam is glowing in all his post sex glory, stomach muscles glistening with sweat. He pulls you roughly under his legs so he is the one straddling you now.

Giggling, under your own bliss, you try your best to fix your hair.

He's kissing your chest again, whispering. "Does this mean we're back together?"

"Do you want to be?”

“I have to say, I perform a lot better in your car than mine."

"I agree." You deadpan and he laughs. "You have to sell that stupid car, it's so cursed."

[japhan2024]

Without you

I didn't feel kinky today sorry, here, have some angst! I mean, Ian is naked so that should count for something.

Anthony was scribbling in a black notebook. Tears rolled down his cheeks. He felt so many emotions, but couldn't quite place them. He'd never learned how. But there was one overarching emotion that he did know. It was love. Love for his best fried. And it hurt. They were so far from being anything even resembling friends. Sure, they were on 'good terms' but that just meant they avoided to actually talk. Anthony needed to talk. To share, to feel things together. He knew Ian cared. But he wasn't showing any feelings to Anthony, in fact Anthony had no idea where Ian was at. So, frustration and desperation, and a little anger was building inside of Anthony, even though he didn't quite know it.

He stopped writing, turned up the volume on his sound system and listened to screamo music for the rest of the night. He laid sprawled over his couch, and felt like he could just die then and there. What did life matter anyway, when Ian wasn't in it? Music still playing and creating a sound wall of white noise, he dozed off into tortured dreams.

4 a.m. Anthony woke up in cold sweat. He turned off the music and suddenly the world was quiet. The pain in his chest swelled, and he grabbed his phone. The dumb picture of Ian was staring at him.

"Should I just call?"

Anthony sighed.

"Why not. He called. After a while, Ian picked up.

"Hey."

"Hey. Buddy, I miss you. I just had a nightmare and I don't know who else to talk to."

"Oh no, what was it about?" Ian's voice didn't sound very concerned, which hurt Anthony a bit but then again, he had just woken him up in the middle of the night.

"I don't remember actually."

"Well then why are you calling to tell me about it? Dude," Ian was giggling. Anthony loved that sound and he cheered up a little.

"I know, it's dumb. But you know, I feel… I don't know Ian. I just feel. I miss you and I want to hang out. let's go grab some fast food?"

"Dude, I'm naked in my bed right now! I'm not going to get dressed in the dead of night to grab a lukewarm burger."

"I know…" Anthony walked into the same problem he always did when he reached out to Ian these days. He wanted more than just to be bros. He wanted a genuine connection, and Ian was just not giving it to him. But he was his Ian-y self, which was good enough tonight.

"Those poor kids working the night shift are probably like "What the hell are these washed up YouTuber looking idiots doing at this time, shouldn't they be in bed, old fucks"?

Anthony laughed. God, Ian was so hilarious.

"They're probably like, let's get these goobers and put way too much pepper in their sauce." Anthony's attempt to build off of Ian, he didn't think it was much. But Ian picked it up.

"They're probably like, let's piss in their cups, geriatric dicks!"

"Okay, ew, now I don't wanna go anymore," Anthony said, smiling.

"Can I go back to bed now?"

"No."

"Too bad, you're not my mom, MOM!"

"And I'm not your girlfriend."

"No, my mom isn't my girlfriend, ew!"

"No, your mom is MY girlfriend."

"Fuck you!"

"Good night, Ian."

"Good night Anthony."

Ian hung up.

"I love you…"

Anthony had to cry once again. He just didn't get through to Ian. He opened a browser on his laptop, that stood balancing dangerously on the arm of his couch. He searched for old pictures of Ian and himself. They looked so goofy, with their dumb haircuts. But the truth was, Anthony loved those haircuts. He was so proud of what they had built together. But now it was all going to shit, and he didn't know how much longer he could take it.

[nightmyst14-blog]

The Lost Legendary Pt2

*Last post was October 4th* *sighs* FRICKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK-

I feel bad for leaving you guys hanging for a whole 2 WEEKS. I meant to post pt 2 last week as like a weekly or bi-weekly thing, but CREATIVE BLOCK DECIDES TO STRIKE ME IN THE FRICKEN KNEES-

Anyways, this will be a double upload to make up for it, I am TRULY sorry guys. This one is a bit shorter tho..

Setting: *In the Natural History Museum, the group of kids were walking along the dark hallways, looking for the Scuppernong Beast Exhibit. GIngerbrave is leading the way, with Cream Puff making a small light spell so they could see.*

Strawberry: Its dark!

Walnut: ssh!! Hush, Strawberry!!

Straw. Crepe: Are you sure you know where you’re going, Wiz?

Wizard: Its Wizard!! *huffs.* And yes, I am. Papa showed me the other times before.

Strawberry: I-Its dark…

Walnut: Hold my hand!! 

Cream Puff: Me too! *she grabs her other hand*

*They soon arrive at the Dark Beast Exhibit, where the main attraction was covered up. A large coffin made of dark oak was placed there, covered in odd runes.*

Straw. Crepe: Wow!!

Wizard: There. Can we go??

Walnut: Wait, I wanna have a closer look!!

*Walnut soon walked up to it, using her magnifying glass. The runs were etched into the wood, glowing a soft purple.*

Cream Puff: What is it say?

Walnut: I dont know. The language seems unknown to me. Crepe?

Straw. Crepe: *grins, scans it* *waits before speaking.* It appears to be over 300 years old, but the magic within it makes it appear to be freshly made. The data reads that leaks some kind of a old magic..

Wizard: Nonsense. Pap wouldn't be dumb enough to store such an artifact in here. Its obviously fake.

Straw. Crepe; I don;t know Wiz. my scanners ARE sensing something alive in there.

Strawberry; M-maybe its the monster!!

Gingerbrave: Do you think its sleeping in there??

Wizard: *huffs in annoyance* Falsehoods, I tell you!! Its all fake! Here,step aside.

Gingerbrave: WIzard-

Wizard; *climbs up to the coffin* Look, even the runes are fake. Here I’ll read them. 

*He does so, the others getting slightly nervous. Strawberry and Cream Puff were holding into each other, shaking. The runes seem to glow as Wizard read them, but soon faded back to its normal color.*

Wizard; *huffs* Told you. Can we go to bed now?

Gingerbrave: *nervously laughs* Y-yeah…

Walnut: *smiles* You sure showed us ,Wizard!!

Wizard: Obviously.

Strawberry: *yawns* Let’s go, I'm sleepy.

Straw. Crepe; *hops down from the exhibit* Aww, I hoped it was real.. Then I could’ve scanned its dough.

Cream Puff: M-Maybe…*laughs nervously* Perhaps its is a myth like Mr. Tea Knight said…

Gingerbrave: Whatever it is, we should go.

??: Oh?? Leaving so soon?

*The group of kids soon turn around, soon being caught in a magic net.*

Kids: H-hey!! *they wiggle around in the net*

Criminal: *appears out from the shadows with two others* Hello kids. Having a fun late night school trip?

[arrow-dodger]

Having friends is hard. Having friends as an adult is hard, specifically.

I miss the time in my late teens and early 20s when nobody had any responsibilities at home, so we could just hang out whenever. Go crash at each other's houses. Go grab chips and salsa after work whenever. Now my work friends (the people I spend the most time with by far) are all married people with obligations and shit to do. My male friend has a wife I've barely hung out with who I know doesn't like our friendship. That's always been a thing for me, but at least in the past they were just random passing girlfriends and not entire spouses. Some of my other friends hang out still, but at like, bars? I hate bars.

My older friend group is another story. Since I don't live close enough to hang out with everyone much, I only get invited to big events where everyone and their dog is there, so my frame of reference for everything is pretty limited. But the thing about the "friend group" as a living being is that people get added to it or removed from it as time goes on, and it's always really weird for me because I usually don't know any of the new people at all. That kinda happened this past year where some people were ousted and different people were added that I really don't vibe with as much? So I honestly just feel very weird, precarious, and out of place in general.

And I was already kind of feeling like I wasn't vibing with certain people as much just after months of seeing them say things that seemed really ignorant and dumb, or just things I don't personally agree with at all, but then some drama happened (while I was elsewhere, so I came back to this like the guy in the pizza fire gif) that sowed discord amongst the ranks and REALLY changed my opinion about some people for the worse. It was ultimately related to political beliefs and just... the ability to have adult discussions? And some people really showed themselves as people who spout certain beliefs but don't actually believe those things or support these causes in their daily lives, which is something I can't stand. It takes zero brain cells to repost an instagram infographic about a political issue and is another thing entirely to really learn about things, challenge yourself, and have informed beliefs. Some people just have no curiosity about the world around them and I can't understand that.

And some of it was just regular old ignorance or being uninformed, but I'm like... almost 30, so I don't want to have to constantly explain shit to people that I feel like they should already know in order for us to be on the same page about literal core values. That's not what I want out of my close relationships. Some of my friends do that on the regular for their close friends and don't seem to mind, but I don't like it. My work friends and my best friends and I are always having deep discussions, so it's hard to treat people with kid gloves or talk to them like they're five about shit, especially while [hahahahaha I just backspaced something really mean hahahahaaaaaahaha whatever, the point is I feel like some people think they're incapable of or exempt from learning new things and I disagree]

It may seem shitty to even be posting about this but I've been ruminating on it for like, three months, and haven't hung out with anyone since like April. Plus people in that group can handle their interpersonal issues however they want. PLUS, I'm slightly tipsy, so jot that down.

Anywayyy. It's also just weird to hang out with a large group of people where several of them seem to dislike each other. So I keep my distance for now. And my work friends are having a Friendsgiving and I don't think I'm gonna go because fuck holidays. I absolutely can't make myself do it when nothing about them feels true to me. But I also need to take every opportunity I can for human engagement because I never regret it.

[anin13]

Shumori chapter 9

TW: Diabolik Lovers, swiss idol ideation and self hate, survivor's guilt.

Once upon a time there was a railroad line

On the road to hell there was a railroad track; if you ride that train till the end of the line, where the sun don't shine and it's always shady

It's there you'll find...

-You won't even acknowledge me, not even in this! It's not your little world and me simply existing in it!

-...Anything but him, please!

-We both wish it had been YOU instead!

...That it was simply a matter of time.

Before anything else could happen, before he could stop the fire lamp from falling on Edgar's face, Shu found himself back at a white place. With a phonograph, to play the tunes he no longer heard. His music book, the pages crossed by black crayon and doodles of dogs and cats. A pillow to sleep the sorrows away, a half eaten apple and a puppy he knew all too well.

...Waiting for something to happen?

There was a door that cast a faint shadow. He could use it to get out into that strange dream world he'd met Laito and the others in a lucid dream. He didn't have the will this time. He just wanted to stay here, away from everything, away from himself if possible.

Destiny is not something you can escape, no matter how much you let sunlight blind you to it; the vampire king's firstborn...

You've been coming here to shut the world out for as long as you can remember.

...It's been centuries.

But in the last weeks there is something off here you can't put your finger on. There is a chandelier, hanging from the ceiling, wherever that is. In it are 6 candles, only two with colored flame, one yellow one green. They clash with everything else here, don't they? You have no idea why it's here. There is no need for light.

-Heyyyy... -an exhasperated half-growl echoed from afar, muffled- How long do you plan to drag this on?

That was a voice from outside. It sounded familiar in tone.

Shu half-opened his eyelids to come back to the real world and saw the starry sky, trees, stone structures and a tall, grown man instead of the child he'd somehow expected.

Yuma put a hand on the blond vampire's forehead. It felt cold, and he felt dumb; of course, Shu was an undead!

Shu's brow was furrowed in confusion. What was he doing?

Oh, right. Humans check for fever like that.

Yuma might still have moments in which he thinks he's human. Shu found it funny when he retracted the hand, embarrassed; he seemed to remember feeling for signs of life in him was pointless. He was easy to read as ever.

Yuma recovered fast,

-You somehow feel asleep on a stone cold bench in a garden! -he announced- You have a good skill right there, you'd be able to rest if you lived in the streets!

-...You came.

-I had to! -Yuma blurted out despite himself- ...And there was nothing else to do. -he added, almost casually- What did that apple mean? You just met me and you haven't investigated nuthin' 'bout me.

Shu almost smiled and sat up,

-It means it's time to give you back, like a lost boy.

Shu started walking toward the entrance, and Yuma frowned like a kid who had just been denied dinner.

-Hey, I forgot where I live! ...Wait, yer not going anywhere! -Yuma caught up and grabbed Shu by the back of his sweater,

-Stop that, -Shu dragged- it'll ruin my sweater...

Yuma pushed him against the nearest wall and pinned him there,

-You can't keep pretending you know nothing. I am trapped in empty memories, suddenly I meet ya people and I start having this strange thing where I can't even remember my own name. -Yuma pushed harder and grit his teeth- One last time before I snap. Do you people have anything to do with this?!

-Maybe. How should I know? -a calm Shu averted his eyes- Lately I am trapped in the opposite problem, I remember too much, particularly every time I want to rest.

Yuma lightened the pressure on Shu's chest. Surprisingly, this wasn't some evil bastard plotting the Mukami family's demise. He'd gotten an inkling, but this hidden sincerity confirmed it.

-Yuma Mukami, right? -Shu looked at his face again, looking for any changes he could barely notice; only small new scars and long lost freckles- Be glad there is no memory or fate to torment you.

Yuma opened his mouth to retort but Shu suddenly freed his left hand and pulled Yuma's clothes off his shoulder. A big burn scar crossed it.

-I see... -Shu tried to keep a neutral tone but failed- how did you get these?

Yuma jumped backward and pushed Shu's arms away. He was now officially creeped out.

-What the HELL? Are ya tryin' somethin' funny? You damn perverted aristocrats...

-Don't flatter yourself. -Shu retorted in a very well practiced dismissive tone- You have broad skin marks. What happened?

Yuma couldn't just bring himself to run into the forest again and leave this uncomfortable conversation. This was his only clue, and probably only means to return to his family.

Whoever they were.

The apathetic guy really didn't seem like a bad one. He looked sad rather than aroused or anything like that, now he'd stopped talking to observe; maybe Kou's story had come into his mind as the other guy tampered with his clothes; nobody ever checked your skin out of nowhere under normal circumstances.

This was anything but a normal circumstance.

There was nothing normal about either of the vampires involved.

-I... don't know, I've had them since I can remember. I can't remember anything before I was 13. They could be a clue about what happened but I have no idea what made them.

Shu met Edgar when he was 11; he wondered, again, what he had lived during those times, and how come he ended up a vampire.

Yuma saw the unspecified questions swimming in his eyes,

-I only remember I used to live in the streets with Boss, our gang leader, and other boys. -he sighed and approached Shu again- When they got killed I ended up in an orphanage. I met the others in a room they used to lock up problematic kids in.

Shu laughed a bit. It was only natural!

-We tried to run away and they shot us. I don't remember much after that other than making a deal with a massive guy with long white hair in a room red and hot as an oven.

-Our benefactor claimed to feel bad for us, and made an offer we couldn't refuse. -Yuma looked up, recalling Karl-Heinz's exact words- A second chance at life, if we helped him. I wasn't even sure if I was imagining shit.

Shu knew what this "benefactor" had offered.

-Sounds unfair, offering anything like that to a child in the brink of death.

-Che. -Yuma scoffed- I already spoke enough, are you gonna spill the beans, or what?

-You want to get back to your house, that's all I called you here for. I have no beans to spill, but something strange is indeed happening. My dreams are funny these days, but I'm sure yours aren't. -Shu pointed to the entrance and walked on under the windy night sky, beckoning Yuma- Come on in.

Yuma was confused, weird dreams were normal, weren't they? He was probably lying, too, but he'd get nothing out of beating him, either way, and he was tired and hungry.

-Why are you helping me? We've been nuthin' but trouble for you guys! -Yuma's voice started raising- We kidnapped your personal snack!!

Shu smiled again,

-I don't care, she's not my snack, and I'm sure you won't kill her.

-How would ya know that?!

-You... don't seem like a bad guy.

Shu muttered Edgar's words from the past about himself slowly, hoping, praying something might spark a remembrance in Yuma, but on the other hand, begging for it not to be the case; Yuma had been through enough.

Yuma fell silent, surprised, and as he recovered the ability to speak,

-HAH?

-So we're going to call your brother who kindly gave me his phone at school.

-Ruki WHAT? -it was Yuma's turn to laugh; that was impossible.

-...Something about his priorities being the brothers, or whatever. I didn't care enough to remember.

Yuma couldn't help but feeling a bit happy Ruki was willing to risk the mission for him, but wondered if some kind of punishment awaited once he got back...

Yui was dressing up after school, as she was finally going on a normal high school girl kind of outing! Almost normal, but it was okay- She was so excited! She couldn't help but feel embarrassed about how easy and with how little she could be presuaded to spend time with the Mukami brothers despite them having kidnapped her.

Granted, nobody in the Sakamaki family, not even Subaru, had ever gone to any trendy places nor tried to hang out with her pretending to be humans with her without causing a ruckus. It had normally only been walks around places that were open at night. Very late at night.

Yui felt a little sad but a little happy.

There was a knock on the door.

-Eve... may I... come in?

-Azusa! Yes, of course!

Azusa looked a bit shy,

-Hey Eve... Ruki won't be joining us today... he says Yuma... is at the Sakamaki's house...

-Is he okay?

-Yes, that Shu guy... found him somehow... he is not their... hostage.

Yui was confused. But at least now Azusa wouldn't be worried; his brothers might have been horrible, but Azusa was kind of sweet! Hopefully Subaru would like him as his friend someday too.

Another thought crossed her head, why was she wanting to be friends with Azusa? He had kidnapped her! And so had Kou!

-A-anyway, Azusa, too bad Ruki can't join but I'll be happy to hang out with you and Kou!

-I am happy too... to spend time with... our Eve. We will have... a great time!

Azusa smiled and left the room, not before pocketing Yui's nail clipper for dubious purposes, since Ruki had confiscated several sharp items from him lately.

Kou Mukami was still at school; of course he remembered he had kind of a date with the Masokitty he'd better not miss if he wanted to lure her more into him.

But it was his turn to return some bullcrap teacher stuff to the library and clean up the classroom by himself, on account of a little bit of glitter escaping the outfit he'd smuggled out of the idol agency to wear at school.

What true fashion lover wouldn't have taken that chance???? Either way, he was nearly done and trendy places would close later today, as it was Friday.

He had finished mopping the floor for the 4th time when he decided it was enough and cursed Karl for not giving him illusionism magic to simply hide the damned sparkles. So irritating and unfair.

On his way to the library, something felt off. Everyone was supposed to be gone, but he felt a presence. It felt sinister but familiar. The presence wasn't alone, but he couldn't make out the neutral presence from the sinister one.

Creepy. He'd do this fast.

As his footsteps echoed faster up the stairs and into the library halls full of dusty books he finally heard a page turn behind some shelves that made the space look labyrinthic in the slumber.

A bit nervous, he turned the corner and found Laito Sakamaki sitting on a chair with his legs crossed on a desk, casually reading an ominous-looking book. He was surrounded by two floating green flames that gave his eyes a look as if they were lanterns, a bit like his name.

Kou tried to tiptoe away from this unwelcome sight; he'd already seen the guy in a weird dream and didn't need this.

Too late. A giggle followed him.

And Laito appeared in front of him.

-AAAAH!

-So you are a screamer I.R.L. too -he smiled and showed two pointy fangs- You are a vampire too, no need to be afraid. And it's a full moon!

SHIT. And who the HELL called irl I.R.L. in real life????? Only if you were a vampire who hasn't quite caught up with the times...

There was no reason for Kou to be afraid, so he simply said something about having something to do and turned around.

-Ah, too bad. Your plans have been cancelled. -Laito proclaimed as green glowing chain barriers slithered over all possible exits- You see, it's a full moon, and my patience is short. I won't be satisfied easily...

No fucking way. Kou ran.

-Why are you so afraid? -Laito's voice followed him with an audibly raised eyebrow- I just want answers!

Kou stopped running. The book Laito was holding was about dreams; the sensation he had in his bowels got replaced by a different kind of cringing spasm. This was embarrassing; his history had caught up with him again. Kou raised his palms in surrender,

-Hey, if you simply wanna talk there is no need to put scary stuff on the door, is there?

Laito smiled ominously,

-They wouldn't bother you if you didn't want to leave... I know eeevery trick in the book! -he slowly approached Kou like a cobra would a mouse- I have had many, many people try to avoid my questions lately, and I'm not going to be left talking to myself tonight as well.

-What..? -Kou sort of could relate, but seriously, the magic chains were disturbing! He'd have to convince Laito to calm down, despite the fake calm demeanor he tried to exude. His eye told him it was as fake as the wigs in the TV studio. They were so fake yet so well done they looked uncanny.

He sat down on a chair in front of a library desk and invited Laito to sit down in the opposite chair. There was no way out of this; the Masokitty would have to hang out with just Ruki and Azusa.

Who knows, maybe Kou's absence made her heart grow fonder!

Reiji woke up with a headache after dreaming of having a shouting match with Shu on a railroad track. He should have maybe just exploded the mine he was inside of in the dream to have woken up less mentally sore.

Somebody was entering the mansion. He looked down the balcony. It was simply that good-for-nothing. Wait. Someone followed. The tall Mukami guy. What in tarnation?

He'd see what was happening from afar. This was fishy.

-Your brother's in his way to pick you up, better not make it too scandalous...

Reiji facepalmed. Why would that be scandalous?

-Ya sure have a house full of useless trinkets, what the hell do you have that broken phone for if you can just..?

-We never bothered to throw it away...

-Not even the guy who seems to have his shit together? I don't know him well but he looks like a real clean freak!

Reiji felt some pride and some nervousness. That guy had detected so much in so little time? He was glad the turmoil underneath wasn't so obvious.

Shu laughed at the guys's jokes. This guy looked very familiar but he couldn't put his finger on why. Shu had an almost loving look on him.

As if he'd found his person after a long time. Reiji cringed.

The doorbell rang and Ruki took Yuma with him after declaring Shu a decent man (WHAT) and thanking him.

He didn't feel like having that oaf hostage or anything but there was no reason to fraternize with thieves. Much less make their team whole again! Incomprehensible.

-Hey Reiji, what are you glaring at so intensely? -Kanato emerged from the bathroom, startling Reiji

-Never mind. It really is not my business why they stole that woman, either way, it's Subaru's girl, Subaru's case.

-Are you thinking how Shu making a friend is irritating?

-I am not interested in befriending terrorists, Kanato... but I am intrigued who the tall guy is. Have we met him before?

-No, I'd never seen him, and Teddy says he'd rather not meet him again.

Reiji was left wondering and rummaging his memories as Shu felt, for a few minutes, as he said goodbye to Ruki and Yuma, like the false human he had pretended to be for Edgar so long ago: happy?

-Eve... Kou said he's caught in school stuff tonight... so it's just the 2 of us... tonight... like a date, if you want!

Azusa's smile was very convincing and Yui really wanted to give in to make him happy, and she felt comfortable with him but she would be strong; she'd never do Subaru dirty like that!

-Ehh, yes, Azusa, a friend-date is a nice outing too!

-I'm very happy, Eve! Where do you wanna go first?

Yuma was relieved to be sitting on the soft limousine seat next to Ruki, heading home and sipping blood his brother had stolen from the hospital especially for him about a week ago. Ruki had anticipated some form of starvation and Yuma was grateful.

-Hey Ruki... -Yuma couldn't get something out of his head- what do you think could have made the shape of the scars I have on my shoulder?

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This chapter is short-ish because i am very sleepy :D but more soon!